#then i didn't even get to eat cuz i didnt make enough and i had fo give it to my dad :(

[jmjerror]

been having WEIRD DREAMS lately

[gritsandbrits]

My late night thoughts on TF ONE

‼️HEAVY SPOILERS BELOW ‼️

- Elita didnt die HELL YEAH i am so glad we are moving away from ignoring and fridging her

- Bee is actually bearable here, and knows when to take things seriously

- wow i think even animated sentinel would be disgusted with his counterpart cuz even he wouldn't resort to murder & stealing t-cogs

- megatrons turn felt a little rushed but he was still pretty cool

- i think optimus could use a lesson on how his brashness effects others

- JAZZ LIVES

- the joke over starscream's damaged vocals sounding 'ridiculous' is ableist

- the few times we see the quintessons are scary as hell! They're like a juiced up alien version of a drug cartel

- SENTINEL and Airachnid dynamic is basically adam and lute but good

- soundwave voice threw me off im so used to it sounding melodic

- i think optimus and megatron should've spent time with sentinel like they go to his "luxury" hospital or smthn, & they start seeing cracks in the facade, it makes them learning aboht his true nature a total gut punch

- Badassitron

- the music and visuals 5000/10 Will See again

- like they get pre Great War cybertron down PERFECTLY and the shifting landscape is *chefs kiss* MAGNIFICO

- like sentinel really is whay Magnifico could be as a competent villain and Airachnid is Evil!Amaya but she's the grunt and he's the macbeth (usually its the evil woman who is the thinker while the man is the violent one). She doesn't even betray him - i really expected her to be secretly plotting against him because this is AIRACHNID we're talking about but no she 100% sticks by him the whole time and she's not annoying bitch Pick me like discount Amity.

- basically its the same plot of WISH but with MUCH better writing, i know i said i gotten sick of seeing wish dragged through the dirt but even i can't deny TF ONE did a better job

- speaking of Megatron actually faces consequences for betrayal instead of that jackass Simon who was too easily forgiven

- the faces grew on me

- finally a transformers movie with a compelling plot without annoying white people im so happy

- also they put PEPPA PIG of all characters in the Hasbro logo and not MLP... the hell? This makes me confused on the state of MLP as a whole like does hasbro just not care for the brand anymore?

- the visuals the VISUALS i dont want a 2d animation fanbrat to come at this movie ILM blew it out of the park once again!

- somewhere a guro lover has died and went to heaven

- because oh my god they did not cut away at sentinel being torn in half at megs' hands.

- CLOSE UP. ON THE SCREEN. IN SLOW MOTION. I HAD TO COVER MY EYES BECAUSE I WAS SO FREAKED OUT!

- the trailers implied he was going to be murked by quintessons but his actual death is worse. So much worse... i wouldn't even wish it on Adam Hazbin.

- So glad they didn't make elita just the GIRLBOSS™, she was genuinely frustrated with the caste system that hindered her growth. she's what a girlboss should be, not a mindless bully. Lute could take some notes from her.

Lute: will you please stop?!

Me: hey im not the one so boy crazy i ended up getting jealous of a lesbian

Seth: ouch

Evan: Miss Lute why did you let Grits eat you up like that 🤭

- orion is essentially asha but the writers trusting him enough to carry the movie. I still like her but you can tell the crew didn't have much faith in her - which SUCKS!

- ooh starscream is a little kinky

- i didnt stay for the post credits scene because i had to leave to go to work right after, but whatever it was, i bet it was AWESOME

- i think movie 2 will focus on the great war and movie 3 would have the 2 factions united to stop the quintessons

- so happy they didnt try to shove in beast wars too, like i hope we get separate beast wars media

- alpha trion is so awesome, for the amount of screentime he ate every second of it! Kudos to Laurence Fishburne

- man... this sentinel is the logical conclusion to TFA!Sentinel if he doesn't stop being an asshole

- the celebrity VAs are good, really good they sound like their having so much fun and not phoning it in

- they gave bee his stingers love it!!

- the race scene was a feast for the eyes with plenty of laughs to go along with it!

- it's sad seeing megatronus being a genuine hero only to have his legacy tarnished now that Evil!Megs has his t-cog. No matter what side he's one he will always be known as The Fallen

- here you go Animation Twitter! you finally got your Unambiguously, Unrepentant, Enjoys Being Evil Villain! now can you PLEASE stop whining?

- the dynamic had such a genuine bond and i think megatron and elita are a flip of each other theyre both angry but elita learns to put it to good use and not let herself be blinded by it while megs is consumed by his

- orion and megs are actual friends, we see them laugh and hang out together. Whether you ship them or not this is a really good display of MegOp. Hell

- see you CAN make optimus a bookworm without turning him into a cop or librarian!

- love how playful orion is at the beginning he reminds me of animated with bits of cheetor

- the textures on the bots are so neat, you can tell sentinel never been in real combat because he's all shiny and stuff while everyone else has dents and scrapes

- the themes are handled a lot better than i expected, how optimus knew they have to fight sentinel but can't execute him either. How the wealthy would keep the disenfranchised down just to keep their place in society, the limits of idealism vs. Extremism, and blindly trusting your leaders

- also how we CAN choose who we want to be but that wont always work if you live in a system designed to fail you on purpose

- genuinely smart move to use airachnid's memories to expose sentinel's crimes

- the decepticons are genuinely fighting against sentinel but its also made clear most of them are just fighting for the sake of fighting. I hope they get more characteristics in later media

- megatron does raise good points but because of sentinel, Je thinks ALL primes are inherently evil when they were BETRAYED. HE EVEN SPOKE TO A PRIME! ALPHA TRION SHOWED HIM FOOTAGE OF WHAT REALLY HAPPENED, ARE U STUPID?!

- we agree this is better than anything out of bayverse right? It is also BETTER than the 86 movie because we actually get to KNOW the characters and the film strikes a healthy balance between light and darkness. Also the only deaths are the ones that matter.

- like finally another modern kids movie thats allowed to be DARK and not entirely sanitized for stockholders

- as for what i ate i had chicken strips and an icee; i combined cherry and Wild apple flavor it tasted alright. I should've snuck in a Chipotle burrito lmao

And that concludes my very messy, grammatically incorrect thoughts the greatest Transformers movie ever made! Go see it! Pay for it, theatre hop, pirate i don't care!

[judithan-xing]

i feel like if i ever released my notes for CADAVER ppl would really realize how fucking unhinged i was writing that whole thing like. its actually buck wild. Honestly i'll go ahead and post it for funsies cuz I think getting to see the ideas n stuff behind ppl's work is cool, so someone out there will probably appreciate this.

some fun behind the scenes notes about it under the read more if you're interested in a mad man's ranting

my notes about what aspects of Vincent/Cid should stay the same and what parts i felt were fine to mess with.

originally i was gonna lean WAY more into Vincent being a traditional vampire rather than a horrible amalgamation of man and demon, to the point he would just straight up be hunting n whatever. I scrapped that in favor of just making him mostly immortal and can eat/drink regular stuff for fun but wants to feed off of Cid cuz bloodlust and also regular lust

i literally kept rewriting the Vague Overarching plot of Cadaver and then randomly, in the middle of the document put 'Vampire Vincent x Hunter Cid' as if this would fucking mean ANYTHING to me later. I think I was literally half asleep when i put that in. It's hilarious. I don't know why it's there or that far down. Also this was me trying to decide how close to Red Snow I wanted it to be, and originally it was gonna be Pretty Fuckin Close but I scrapped that.

hilarious that "THINGS FOR SURE" first plot point wasnt even fuckin used lmao. Also originally Vin was gonna be turned into a vampire AND THEN had chaos implanted, rather than chaos being the thing to turn him. wack. I dont even remember writing that.

i need yall to know i saw a fucking dragon outfit for fli/ght ri/sing that literally permanently altered the course of Cadaver. I'm not kidding. Someone had a cool dragon outfit preset thing for a deadzone investigator and it inspired me so much I changed Cid's profession to that. Seriously.

im so mad i wasn't able to use that stellar fucking line i cooked up at the bottom, but yall get to see it now. but yeah originally the presentation was gonna Actually Be A Presentation and then i realized 'i dont want to fucking write that, that's boring as shit' so I didn't. also i ended up making rufus way more hands-off cuz i just. dont know his character that well and didnt want to start in the middle of a huge plotfic thats not about him

these are dead ass all my notes for Cadaver. like. that's it. no chapter by chapter set up or plan or anything like that. I literally wrote about 2000 words of rambling notes, went 'yeah thats good enough' and ripped out a 63k word fic in like 3 weeks. i dont know. i dont know. its crazy.

[booktomoviebrawl]

We are not judging how bad the movie is, we are judging which adapted the book the worst. There are good movies that are bad adaptions.

Propaganda below the cut (spoilers may apply)

A Wrinkle in Time:

removed characters (like sandy and dennys for some reason???) and entire scenes (auntie beast is literally mentioned as a throwaway line while tessering instead of them going there after camasotz) also this may be just me but i think charles wallace also being black wouldve brought more to the beginning considering racial discrimination in schools but its not a movie ruiner

it wasnt very faithful to the book. i didnt hate the casting but the acting wasn't great in a way that felt like bad directing. the best way i can put it is it felt less like an adaptation for the book to me and more like a bland Disney Live Acton Sequel. this book series was my favorite as a kid and the movie was decided unmagical. it's hard to state how bad the movie is cuz it was just deeply bland :/

don't like it

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children:

While Miss Peregrine was one of my favorite books as a kid and incredibly unique in the way the story is written (The author basically took a box of weird antique photographs and created an underlying story behind a handful of them) the movie is incredibly boring. Like seriously I can't remember a single goddamn thing about the movie besides my extreme disappointment with it after leaving the theatres. It's probably because the original is a trilogy but they didn't want to make it a trilogy for the movie so they just scrapped the ending of the first book and rewrote a shitty climax where they threw snowballs at the nightmare child eating creatures or something. I remember THAT scene perfectly because it was so, so dumb. It was so stupid oh my God- ALSO, thank God I have a copy of the book from before the film came out because new copies don't have one of the photographs that the actual book uses as a base anymore and instead have the shitty movie poster! We truly do live in a society.

Changed way too much so it doesn't feel like the same thing. The main characters are these kids with different abilities (called peculiarities) and the movie switches around their powers and changes almost everyone's age. Emma and Olive switch powers so that Emma now floats (they also added that she can kind of control air to some extent) when she's supposed to have fire powers to match her fiery personality. Olive can make fire now and she's also aged up from an eight year old to a teenager and put her in this weird romance with Enoch. Enoch is also aged up from a grumpy thirteen year old to around the same age as Olive. Bronwyn, one of the older kids in the book and sort of a motherly figure to the younger kids, is now one of the youngest kids. Hugh and Fiona are aged down and basically have no interaction at all in the movie, even when their book counterparts had such a good relationship. The only one they didn't really change was Horace and Jacob. They also added these gorgon twins that do like two things. The antagonist in the movie is Mr. Barron who honestly isn't super memorable and isn't in the books whatsoever. The ending of the movie is weird too because they manage to turn back time somehow so Jacob's grandfather isn't dead and then he hops through loops so he can be with Emma and the other peculiars. I guess the problem of wights and hollowgasts is magically eliminated and we do not have to deal with the consequences. It took six books to fix everything. I appreciate that the movie engaged me enough to read the series but once I did, I could not believe they did my kids that dirty.

Yikes where to start. The 3 girl characters are all mixed up. There are 2 teens, one who's super strong and has a brother (I'll get back to him) and one who controls fire and is the love interest named Emma. The third girl is a child called Olive who floats. She's lighter than air.

In the movie, strong girl is the child, olive is now the fire girl and is for some reason super introverted, and Emma the love interest floats and gets given a super breath??? Power?? Like she rises a sunken ship by blowing in and keeps a man blown against a wall by blowing air at him. He makes a remark that she'll run out of breath eventually, which happens here because plot convenience, but not when she's blowing in the sunken ship.

The enemies in the book are terrifying Hollows. Creatures who have lost themselves and devour souls of those with powers... The movie decides they eat eyes now. And turn human again. And get busted up in a fair for the final act of the movie. Ugh.

The movie also decides randomly that time travelling through the loops is a thing; a loop being a pocket of time that replays the same day over and over. But apparently this means Main Character can travel back in time and stop his grandfather dying??? What?? His grandfathers death is the whole start of the movie and motivation for the character.

The movie undermines many of things that made the book amazing and even decides it's not a trilogy anymore!! Fuck the other 2 books, right?!

Tldr; it is terribly hollywood-ised and t tim Burton ruined a franchise by trying too hard to make it quirky and fun when the books already had a brilliant sombre and interesting tone to them.

[fantrollology]

🍳 for everyone that hasnt been asked yet. i need 2 know who will cook me a delicious meal

EVERYONE????? ok i will just go thru my select page + a few bonus ones

🍳 - cooking

button - she can make a mean lasagna. outside of that, she's pretty average. she typically likes to make big batch meals as meal prep and eat the same thing for a week. outside of her repertoire of recipes shes pretty useless in the kitchen. i think she could impress someone who didn't cook, though. if she ever cooked for people she might even get a "good lasgana, button!" but, uh, will that ever happen? :/

jc - he can make cereal :)

rilakk - rilakk is pretty good at cooking! they are very thoughtful about the food they intake because of the amount of time they spend asleep. theyre good at cooking very hearty, filling foods! i think their go-to is probably curry and stir-frys, cuz they're flexible but you can build a lot of flavor into them.

spyke - you know how it is with spaghetti

lauren - ehhhh he can get around a kitchen, but he never really cared enough to be really good at cooking. the sort of buy pre-marinated meat and throw it in the oven, but hes more likely to go out. he likes good food! i think hes probably tried to make some recipes at home, like if he found a cool planet-specific ingredient and looked something up, but quickly became demotivated because its never as good as just ordering it out, and lauren likes good food!

ceefor - its a good thing shes rich and people cook for her.

fledge - she could probably follow simple recipes, but not much outside of that. she grew up eating from Fleet cafeterias so she never had a reason to learn. shes picked up some skills since living with arunae but she still wouldnt feel super confident cooking alone.

leathy - he doesnt like cooking enough to do it for himself, but hes very capable of following a recipe. he could make a decent meal for someone if they asked, or if he thought they'd like it :)

gazijo - this man can COOK!!! he can break down fresh meat and make u fucking ANYYYTHINNNGG and it will be so so so so good. he prefers to cook for others rather than eat out or have people cook for him cuz he likes to know where his food comes from and what went into it. since he started hunting fauna less hes gotten more into vegetarian recipes too! catch him finding a cool edible mushroom and incorporating it into something for dinner. dont ask him to bake tho.

ionyll - i think her cooking ability starts and ends at box mac n cheese. anyone want chipotle?

pj - pretty decent! hes got a couple go-to dishes. generally prefers to dress up a bowl of ramen or premade tortellini n stuff like that. nothing super involved but he can develop a decent flavor profile.

alaise - her cooking is mid (can follow recipes). i think for herself, if shes not eating out, she'd default to sandwiches / salads / other raw foods. her baking is more where she shines!!! really likes making muffins and cupcakes in particular.

iggy - he has not touched his stove since he moved in. he is eating canned chickpeas plain. hes eating deli ham. maybe put some cheese in there if he's feeling fancy. if it doesnt come together prepared in a package then its not being eaten together. closet he gets to cooking is microwave meals

palaia - capable of following recipes! she never really needed to learn to cook, but she would prepare something for herself if what her sect was offering didnt interest her that way. she does prefer more raw foods, though. salads and the like.

alaska - capable of following more complex recipes, and has a few good ones memorized. capable of impressing people, honestly. he likes to cook himself nice things, though he does prefer to cook for others.

stasia - i dont think shes ever cooked.

trixis - she can cook!!! i think she prefers things that have some of the prep done but she'll make something if shes really in the mood for it. she prefers to make something simple and hearty at home rather than eat out.

aether - roasted vegetables + pasta my beloved. shes trying her best

mim - he can make a good smoothie :) it'd be easier if he had a blender, though...

m0g0 - she can follow a recipe to the letter. exactly. not beyond that. any kitchen common sense is lost on her.

[ez-ra-zed]

these ancient indigenous spirits kept telling me this random white bitch downstairs was gonna die. they kept saying "she gonn die" and it'd be kinda funny to something in my mind, and they'd go "no, she gonn die," cuz they find it mildly humrous at best not funny enough to laugh at. cuz killing these random ppl who were gonna die no matter what is what dead ppl do sometimes to steer the timeline in a different direction, when relatively, emphasis on the relatively, insignificant unless they're suffering and eventual death teaches other people an important lesson... she has sepsis and was on a breathing tube, they been saying for weeks "she gonn die" and "no, this bitch gone die"

that spell jar i made with some dead indigenous folk, asking them if we could protect them. and they be like "no, they're killing themselves anyway." so that skull shaped glass bottle i made a spell jar with, targeting two people in this house specifically which is why i made it red, with V8 and some other shit, asking if i could protect them somewhat they kept controlling my body and doing something through me, while slowly teaching me how to do it myself because its gatekept for a reason, so i can learn "im not gone do that again" when ppl accidentally die from magick sometimes but its statistically improbable right? and people might just die anyways if people didnt use demons or dead people (both) while learning about them to figure out if they're even real cuz what if they arent?

I told him I can't be physically touched sometimes multiple times, and he did it again, got angry with me and flipped out for my clearly set boundaries so I withdrew emotionally from whoever that random person is who actually means nothing to me right now, because I was explicit with not being focused sometimes when I have sexual trauma

I don't even like him. he's a fucking ogre, man, one of those slobs with blank states that can't process the words said to them, living in a delusional, embarrassing american daydream like the rest of those animalistic people who are manipulated by others, and that's how some people evolved for a long time - like thralls

& some of them need to be freed, and that involves a lot of hard lessons in the near future, throughout the next century

An estimated one billion excess deaths from climate change by 2100 is a significant amount of people. A hard lesson being taught to us by a higher intelligence that has been guiding the development of our species, teaching many to submit to a higher power - regardless - as I already do - while some "wrong" spiritual practices focus on, always submitting to learn but standing up to certain things that people worship and respect as God or godlike figures, when going through a process of individualization and self realization that many people go through, on their own, in different ways when authority figures aren't limiting them from growing into themselves, something I never had restricting me as I grew into myself

Like that untrained dog my mom dropped on my unmedicated ass, I let her grow into her personality and let her be wild while just, messing with her and having fun with her, until she'd get mad and start screeeaaaaming

She always has a different personality when someone knows her

Maybe it's cause of all of that, and her first drug was Diphenhydramine

She licked my underage at the time :( friends nostril when we snorted ketamine and she didn't tell me. she K Holed, most dogs don't accidentally get psychoactive doses of ketamine ever so lucky her for sniffing that ketamine and deciding she wanted to put that into her body for some reason, bitch was actively seeking things out I swear

Random pills on my floor I knew she would never eat like fish oil or vitamin D

I had to actively make sure no Kratom was on the floor, she always managed to find some and sniffs at the bag if it's nearby. she's a crack dog. my friend called her a crack dog

When I was underage :/ (sigh) I stole oxycodone pills from my friends parents stash, they had tons of surgeries and kept hiding those fucking pills bottles from them ... anyways, they'd be loose in my pockets cuz like ... literally retarded sometimes

that shit fell out, in my house, not once but twice both with the same person, Mathieu

we both freaked out, both times, when we see her tossing a little white pill around and playing with it while wagging her tail, BOTH TIMES enough for it to dissolve in her mouth

Again she would never seek out random vitamins and supplements. but Kratom? oxycodone? ketamine? crack dog

I would never let her do that, but the fact that she ignored other things suggests she knew, like damn

I would never

I would only give my dog nootropics sometimes and longevity treatments never like opioids

bitch was self medicating

All of them eventually, in different ways, hundreds to thousands of years into the future

When tons and tons of people start to develop OCD-like symptoms for some reason due to certain forms of education that will be deemed necessary, and those OCD quirks will be cute to a lot of people when it isn't pathologized and labeled a disorder, when it's more integrated and not dysfunctional - some people just end up with specific ways of doing things when they see the world a certain way

[irishvampireboy]

I am... gonna rant. Cuz I've been feeling... some type of way.

That way is very very very pissed off, by the way, just to set the mood for what's under that readmore. 😤😤😤

Okay so.... ive been posting more writing on my writing blog. And its been nice. People have been nice.

But here's the thing. And yes this is about the like/reblog ratio again. Because its been upsetting me. And yes im also on my period so im even more emotionally wacky but i have to get this out.

I made a small, teeny tiny vent post, that was incredibly sarcastic and bitchy and very clearly just me venting my own shit. I even explained in the tags that i was feeling really disheartened by it all and just needed to let out my feelings. And then i got this response:

And i GET it. People like things for reasons and blah blah blah BUT . I didnt know this person, nor did they know me. And they talked to me like i didnt fucking know how this goddamn website works, like i don't goddamn live here. It is not the same as any of that. "Its not that deep" I dont KNOW you!!! And you dont know ME! maybe it is! Maybe it IS that deep to me. I was obviously feeling upset enough to make a ranty post???

And they talked about not wanting things on their blog but they reblogged my personal bitchy post with a comment.... like... that could have been a reply!!! Or even better.... dont say fucking anything. It wasnt even a fandom blog. I dont know how they found the post, i didnt even tag it. I assume they follow someone who reblogged it, but i dont think it had that many reblogs. NOT THE POINT!

The point is, mainly, that... its nice getting attention for writing. Or any art you put out onto this little website, but like... my writing blog, which I've had for YEARS just NOW hit 10,000 likes like a couple days ago. And im not trying to sound ungrateful. Because likes are nice. They really are. I like posts all the time.

But the fact that i wrote a 12,000 word fic the other day, posted it, and it has 15 fucking notes, total. 2 of which are mine, because i reblogged it on my main blog. 5 total reblogs. And only one of those has tags. I understand that not everyone uses tags, thats chill.

BUT!!!! The fic was even NSFW and i dont write that super often, but its what i see most, its a popular genre, and the fic STILL only has 15 notes.

And it just... feels like I'm doing something wrong? Like, no matter what kind of fic i post, if it not just a tiny text post it feels like no one interacts or cares at all. And it just... fucking ... it's disheartening and exhausting and it fucking hurts.

Like why do i even fucking write anything? Or post anything? If no one gives a shit? Like, people dont get it, i know artists and gif makers, and literally anyone putting out content gets it. Because we put in hard fucking work and then get nothing back???

Like i have this amazing fic idea about plus size reader x eddie munson and i KNOW its gonna be fucking cute. Its eating away at my brain its so cute. But like.... .... i don't even want to write it now. Because no one will care. No one will interact with it.

It just sucks. I wanna write stuff and share stuff and know that people like it too. But like, if people only interact with posts that are like a paragraph long why the fuck should i even keep writing and posting stuff?

And i know im not the only one who feels this way. And it sucks. But to be complaining about it in my own space and have someone fucking come onto my post and tell me "it's not that deep".... like honestly, fuck you.

ESPECIALLY since i didn't know them??? And they didn't know me. And then came and talked down to me like I'm an idiot who doesn't know how this website works.

This is a sharing website. Its based on shares and sharing and thats how things get more views, and get more people into things, and the sharing and nice comments from others is what sparks more creativity and sparks more art and writing and gifsets and content.

And i don't know where im going with this, i don't really have an aim here i just needed to fucking rant. Because i got pissed off about it again and needed to let it out. But its goddamn exhausting when i put my heart and feelings and shit into my writing and then just... no one cares or interact or whatever and just uugghhh

IT'S VERY FRUSTRATING AND ITS MAKING ME FEEL GROSS AND UPSET AND I JUST WANNA ENJOY WRITING!!!!

[miranda-mundt-art]

How did you get to where you are?

I know the easy and immediate answer- practice. Drawing often, drawing daily, and pushing yourself for years. It’s the answer every artist gives and that’s fair, because it’s true.

But how did you keep pushing through? I hate what I make. It’s so hard to just ‘keep practicing!’ when the results are so disappointing. It’s hard to keep at it when I look at page after page of work I’m not proud of. Did you ever feel like this? And what’s the answer if you did? How do I push through this frustration and inadequacy to be able to draw for my own enjoyment and for others’? I want to make comics, I want to make fanart, I want to make art for the sheer enjoyment of it. But I look at my reference and then at my creation and it’s so hard to keep at it.

Is there any advice you could give? Was there anything that helped you if you ever felt this way?

well first off - I don't recommend drawing daily. Tbh I don't. I don't think I ever have unless I was really excited to draw every day but if I don't feel like drawing I usually dont lmfao. You can try scribbling a bit and see if it sparks something in you but I wouldn't push it. You'll just burn yourself out over nothing. But tbh my answer might not be what you're looking for because it's not something that is necessarily healthy lol

WELL okay - one thing that might be helpful is just the concept of letting go of what you think is perfect and that "FINISHED is better than perfect" Because things will never be perfect. So you just gotta learn to work with what you got in that moment and try to do better next time.

But yeah - I feel like my work isn't good enough a lot (not always and not as much as I used too but that's just a thing for artist is the periods of time when your eyes are working better for you than your hands are.) I graduated from animation school in 2011, didn't get into animation, had a job at a call center and thought that was the worst thing that I'd ever done. Worked as a freelance artist for 10-ish years ( childrens books and graphic design) and 99% of that time I didn't draw fan art until Heather's literally took a chunk out of my brain for a year in 2017 and then I joined the WEBTOON contest for Muted in 2019. But if I didn't finish my work then I............ didnt' eat. lmfao. Not like I would starve myself but art was literally my job and i didn't have an alternative to NOT doing it- it was the only way that I got paid. If I spent time making everything perfect then I wouldn't be able to meet my deadlines - and I found very quickly that things that I overthought and tried to make 'perfect' were things that people generally liked LESS (this isn't always the case but I found that to be the way)

So I will say this- idk how old you are - but you're probably young. Even if you're 30 ... you're young. I think a lot of people don't really realize just how much time there is... and things will keep growing and changing the more you do them.

The downside of my method is of course that I can't NOT treat art like a job anymore. It's very rare for me to set time aside to draw "for fun" as opposed to drawing "for work" but I am in a good place now where my work-art IS fun art (i like drawing muted stuff)

I'll recommend an exercise I recommended to someone else the other day - just because I suffer heavily from over working pieces sometimes - try for speed for a while.

I'd encourage you to maybe just sketch a handful of your ideas between 10-30 minutes and then after you are done sketching pick which one you are most excited to work on to keep developing on in that moment key word being - the one you're most excited to work on- not the one you think people will like most. Work on it for an hour - still excited to work on it? no? Wrap up some finishing touches and call it done. DONE not "WIP", wrap it up and put a bow on it. There is always next time :) cuz even if you don't like how it looks now - if you like the concept?? you can keep it and come back to it in a couple years and redraw it and see how you've improved since then and see how you can build on your original idea!

[aces-basement]

ok this is purely self indulgent but if for some odd reason you want to read this mess here are some things you should know

I'm not gonna try to make it good at all in fact I wont even edit its pure word vomit

itll be super fucking weird

if that scared you good. bye now. cringe time hehe

Ace and I were taking the kids to Springfield again. We were gonna let em play at the arcade while we ate at a restaurant together, just the 2 of us (getting sm to take to the kids afterward too ofc) but it's nice to just have time together as much as we love the kids.

And anyway what I didnt know is that the little shit (/aff) Beavis had wandered off and saw Barney passed out on the damn pavement in front of a place called Moe's tavern and thought "cool" so anyway the little fucker went inside

So I guess Beav asked for some beer and it kinda went like

"Can you like, get me a beer, or something? The alcoholic kind not the piss water. please"

The garish man looked up from his bar only a moment, just long enough to glance at the kid before muttering "Gonna need to see some ID. The feds are already breathing down my neck. Don't need another slip up"

"ARE YOU THREATENING ME?"

"Not yet I ain't"

"Oh. Alright. Cool. Can I like, have a beer now?" Beav asked, producing some coins and a small plastic dinosaur from his pocket

"Still gonna need to see some ID. If you ain't got any, best I can offer ya is a pickled egg. Even then theres a two drink minimum on that." Moe gestured to the glass container on the counter. Two of the eggs were floating. Not good

"Whoa. Cool. So if I eat one of these eggs, I can like, have two drinks minimum? Okay" Beavis dipped his arm into the container, only to grab and eat one of the floating eggs

"KID YOU CAN'T JUST-"

Anyway I dont know what happened after that cuz Beav passed out and couldn't tell me but anyway next thing Ace and I knew there was this gargoyle of a man approached us at the restaurants, holding our son by the nape of his shirt like a kitten. Ponyo was following after him.

"The little red rat told me ya might be here." He muttered, before yelling to me, "Hey, lady, mind watching your kid? Cuz if you payed any attention to him you might know you need to take him to the hospital, pronto."

"You talkin to them, man?" Ace looked around, "Cuz I don't see any 'lady' here."

I told Ace to stop under my breath and gestured for Ponyo to come to me, before I plucked Beavis from the stranger's grasp.

"Them? Oh, so you's one of those gender neutral folk," Moe hissed, with hatred behind it

Kids are secure. They're okay. Make sure Ace doesnt do anything-

Oh.

Theyve.

Already gotten into an arguement. With their fists.

Ace hit Moe. Moe hit the floor.

So you see officer that's why my husband knocked out your town's bartender

Wiggum sighed. "Well, you didn't wreck his mug. It's Moe, can't make him any uglier. So I guess I'll let you guys off with a warning." He said, uncuffing my husband, who pulled me into a hug

"I dont think that's fair but you know what, I'll take it." I told him, and Ace and I and the kids got the hell out of there before they changed their mind

I got the bartender's number, though. Maybe I should call him. Just to make sure he didn't die

But first we're gonna take Beavis to the hospital for eating a decade old boiled egg

[messiisgodibeliveinhim]

Taeyong

I just wanted to rant about everything that happened. So here I am.

So initially I didn't want to watch the concert because of the obvious lack of Taeyong. But i did watch it (ill*gally) on Twitter Live Stream, to see who would cover for Taeyong and how.

Okay, first of all, is it just me or was there an actual lack of preparation and production for the concert??? Like, compare it to SuperM's Beyond Live. The VCRs, the camera direction, the stage, the AR effects... Everything looked so good and exciting. But for this one, they didn't even try. The production was lacking severely and the AR effects were barely used. Everything looked rushed as if they didnt actually plan it set by set. The VCRs were just all the footages from other videos clamped together. There was nothing new or cool about this Beyond Live, even with the increased price. Overall, it looked cheap. I think, the only saving grace of this online concert were the boys themselves.

Secondly, the boys who covered for Taeyong did a good job. Obviously, no one can come close to even performing and delivering like Taeyong but the boys did fine, considering that they had to practice his parts for only 2-3 weeks. And it's a daunting task to fill such huge shoes. The pressure that the boys felt, especially the newbies Shotaro and Sungchan, to try to fill that gap, must have been immense.

But of course, NShittyzens took this as an opportunity to sh*t on Taeyong, saying stupid things like 'XYZ ate Taeyong up', 'ABC made Taeyong's song his own', 'MNO killed Taeyong's part and I think he should've been part of the original line-up instead of Taeyong', 'I hope my bias gets to shine now', 'My faves really took this "opportunity" and showed the world' etc.... Like??? Are you really that dense or just spewing bs like this cuz y'all want attention??? The same thing happened when Taeyong missed the KBS mid-year festival and the other boys covered for him for Kick It.

If y'all truly believe that you're bias only shines when Taeyong is absent, then it shows how insecure you are about you're faves talents and abilities. If you truly think Taeyong's injury is an "opportunity" for your fave, then there is clearly something wrong with you. If you think you're fave ate Taeyong up in any manner, then it shows that you just hate Taeyong. If you think Taeyong is replaceable, then you're doing piss poor job of convincing yourself. Taeyong doesn't need NCT, but NCT needs Taeyong.

He is not just the leader, but also the main dancer, main rapper, sub vocalist, the center of the group and the face of the group. He has also contributed to the group with over 30 songs and has choreographed for some of NCT songs. He is NCT's idea bank, with the numerous times he has come up with something new and interesting for their concepts or choreography (For Example: The Jungle Gym for Neo City tour, the epic finger move and Mark stepping on Taeyong for the Kick It choreography, the chandelier scene in MAW, etc) . Many professionals have constantly praised Taeyong for his creativity and excellent inputs.

Taeyong was there from the very beginning of NCT and has carried the group on his back for 4 years now. And he has always remained kind and humble, even with all the misdirected hate that he faced for years. He always puts himself down and praises all the members, no matter what. He has juggled between groups, 5 comebacks and numerous concerts, this year alone. His schedule list looks like the Bank Statement of one whole year. The way the man has worked for the past 2 years is insane. And upon that, the burden of being the leader of a group with 23 members??? Can y'all even imagine the amount of weight on Taeyong's shoulders???

And yes, the injuries he has constantly sustained for over 4 years now. We have seen various footages of him having neck braces, holding his waist and limping. He has also talked about the continuous back pain or how he was sick for 3 days after shooting a MV. SM had known exactly the extent of his injuries and still overworked him to the bone. Now his waist disc injury has relapsed and we still dont have a statement on his health or time of recovery on ANY of the SM Official Accounts. Not one word. We had to find out through a platform that's barely used and most non-twitteratti NCTzens didn't know about this whole ordeal until after the concert began.

What boils my blood is that SM knew about the relapsed injury way before, gave the boys enough time to practice Taeyong's part, but announced the concert by advertising Taeyong all over it, last Monday. And they literally only made the announcement after the concert ticket cancelation period was over. F*cking money whores! F*ck SM!!!!

The worst part of it all are the NShittyzens. Most of you didn't care about the fact that SM not only neglected the leader's health but also scammed Taeyong's fans. When TyongFs began to get refunds for the concert, some of you accused them and started dictating what they should do with their own money, pulling sh*t like- 'Taeyong as a leader, wants his group to do well. Now he would be sad knowing that fans dont care about the group cuz y'all are getting your refunds'. Really? Cuz most y'all who said this watched the concert illegally, makes it even more funny to me. And its none of you're business, how anyone else spends their money. And if you think Taeyong cares about SM losing money, then you're just stupid. If it's anyone in the whole group who'd say 'F*ck Capitalism!', it's Taeyong. So STFU!

Also, when TyongFs started demanding an official statement from SM about Taeyong, some of y'all went- "You're just a fan. Y'all dont have any right to cross the boundaries of Idol-Fan relationship and ask for personal stuff. Other artist fans didn't get any official statement, so why should you?'. We didnt ask for his f*cking medical records. We just want a statement from SM's official accounts about his health and his time of recovery. That's it. SM has refused to acknowledge the injuries of other artists before, doesn't mean that this pattern has to continue. And as fans, we are entitled to know about the artist, cuz WE CARE...! Cuz a waist disc injury relapsing aint a small thing. The amount of pain that Taeyong is probably enduring right now.... We dont even know the extent of it. We dont know how long he needs to recover or even how long SM will give him to rest. We don't know anything and we are scared. So just wanting a statement about it, isnt 'crossing the boundaries' as you put it. So again, STFU!

Y'all don't care about Taeyong, fine. The least you can do is respect him and not discredit his hardwork. After everything he has done and continues to do for NCT, y'all keep going with the 'Taeyong is the villain' narrative. He isn't stealing your faves lines or screentime. He isn't pushing them back to 'shine more'. He isnt the bad person you think he is. Y'all rejoicing now that he is injured, happy that your faves got to take up Taeyong's part or just hateful saying your fave was better than Taeyong.... It just ain't it.

No other group leader gets the kinda hate Taeyong does, even though he does 5 times the work for the group than any other leader. Yes, Taeyong has multiple positions the group, all deserved. Yes, he is a very charismatic and an amazing performer on the stage, that lures new fans in. Not his fault that he grabs everyone's attention. Yes, he is very talented in so many aspects. But that doesn't mean you get tobblame you're faves mistreatment on him, cuz he himself is being mistreated by SM. So don't come at me with you're 'SM's golden boy' bs! I will taze your ass and watch supernanny as you crawl under the carpet!

Maybe you're right about how you're faves dont get to shine enough when they're on the same stage as Taeyong, cuz his charisma and aura is very magnetic, you can't help but watch him and him only. I thought only TyongFs have this kinda tunnel vision but apparently, all of you have it as well....

Here's the thing. You don't like it when Taeyong gets praised all the time, whether its his dance or rap or anything at all. Cuz you don't like Taeyong. So why are you even focused on him and TyongFs. If I don't like anything, i simply ignore it. So instead of focusing on Taeyong, focus on hyping up your fave (again, by not dragging Taeyong, not even subtly). It ain't hard, trust me.

At least have the human decency to not rejoice over the fact that he is injured. The sh*t i see online everyday, some of y'all have totally lost it.

And lastly, no one can eat up Taeyong. No one can do his part better than him. Hell, no one can even come close to doing what he does. So get that delusion outta your heads. Its embarrassing.

[smallestclowninthecircus]

Season 3 notes popping off

due to my desire to not completely fail all my classes this year i made myself slow down significantly while listening to this season, and the fact that the other person i'm listening along with had to catch up. We've managed to convert several other people to start listening and its pretty great.

ep 81: what does it even mean to be chosen by one of them? And if he was chosen by the eye. we know Gertrude wasnt? Because she cut the eyes out of the magazines?

ep 82: elias lmao. I understand why people like him so much bahshdhdk i thought he was gonna snitch on Jon but he didnt so he's fine. Ok but how do we think he knew all that stuff. Idk probably just institute connections. I love the fact that the recorder just wants to record stuff randomly bjahsjdhd. Elias feels a lot like Michael in the sense that he knows more than he should and talks in a way that implies he just wants to wait and see how things play out for his own benefit. I understand him knowing the things that happened but his description of her emotions implies something paranormal. Maybe he's connected to one of the entities. Which one I cannot guess.

ep 83: did a file get delivered randomly to the place he's staying at? Probably elias lmao. He thinks the mannequin is related to the stranger. Idk I would believe it.

ep 84: worms? I know he says earth worms but idk. Again? Is she making gordon golems out of trash? Martin popping off. You can tell the statements get to him more that they get to Jon. How come martin is so mad about it? I want to assume he just doesnt want her to get stuck there but idk. Jude Perry. The calliope organ. Jon heard a circus in one of the last episodes

ep 89: he's talking to perry? Like jude Perry? He says ... God? Is that what it is? Lmao. The Desolation. Jon is tired of ppl being vague and not telling him stuff lmao. Oh God Jon is so confused. Compel her? Is she assuming he has some kind of power? Does he have powers? Hmm. im agreeing with jon here please jesus christ why does everyone have to be so cryptic. Just say what you mean. "maybe you get an itchy eye" bahasjkdfklsjdf girl what. Agnes saved her? Oh this is the girl from the cafe story? So theres the Cult of the Lightless Flame? They worship whatever entity this is? The Desolation? Why do they all seem like they sorta worship her then? Is Gretchen gonna die oh god. fuckin michael. a different michael aaah. i see. dont do it shes gonna burn you. sir. please. sir dont you dare do- WHAT DID I SAY what did you think was gonna happen hhh.

ep 90: try to make it less obvious you're trying to get fired big T. Elias that doesnt sound like the most healthy thing to do. oh dear is this gonna be triggering for me. uuuuuh. uuuuuuuuuh. doesnt seem like it ok gonna keep listening. Jared. hmmmmm. Ok we've seen Keay and hotner or whatever his name was.

ep 91: Michael Crew. Oh is this the lightning scar guy. Mister jon sir did you just die. No? God everyone is so fuckin cryptic. Say normal things please. They all just like to go on about pain and agony and j e s u s c h r i s t we get it you got hurted by whatever thing. So theyre avatars? question mark? Jude Perry is an avatar of The Desolation? hhhh fractals. thats a spiral thing innit. Yup. messing with your perceptions. God they all talk about feeding their god and feeding that which feeds them and. hh what does that meann. Leave big J. please. uh oh. is it daisy? how come he has the web lighter still? the tape recorder just turns on sometimes you know how it is. So he can compel people? not that he knows it obviously but. a bit wack. powers go brr i guess? If the eye just wants knowledge i guess he feeds it by getting the statements? b/c i doubt it wants him to murder ppl or whatever.

ep 92: elias you all knowing fuck what do you know. (i guess all given what i just said) Lukas. Heard of them before. Mordecai Lukas. Loneliness. The lonely even. Jonah Magnus. Elias ur sounding like a bit of a dickhead rn. lmao jon's just like "i dont care" elias what is ur deal. Why does he want to tie her in. ohh i see. lmao theyre all just like "elias why" The Unknowing lol seems very much like something the eye wouldnt like. lol elias is gettin all philosophical. what does it really mean to be human. this still doesnt answer why gertrude wanted to destroy the archives tho.

ep 93: bahsjdfh he seems so dead inside rip. awww admiral. i love him already. ghh breacon and hope. purple mold. doesnt sound like anything we've seen so far. I think the funniest explanation for breacon and hope is that they dont actually serve the stranger they just kinda happen to be a random neutral party that cart around random spooky entity related stuff. ooooh. when we hear the slight static of the tape recorder it's cuz he's compelling ppl.

ep 94: the end! listen man they were all just grayed up for 4/13.

ep 95: the end also? death but also savagery/ animalistic shit. aww martin. lmao becerra. she's just been chillin in the corner.

ep 96: return to sender. haha minecraft go brr. prediction: breacon and hope? yup there we go. jon why is there an echo. are you in a stairwell? is he gonna eat it- yup. how did i call it. unsure abt what theyre talking about but ok. they kidnapped someone? Sarah Baldwin. ooooh that guy.

ok im just putting this here so i have notes for when nicholas gets to this part. It seems like (from jon's conversation with jude perry) that the desolation and the eye are kinda at odds with eachother? like i guess not directly but it seems like they dont really vibe? so how could be with both. Cuz if he has the heat powers and shit then we know he's an avatar of the desolation. but then why does he have so much eye imagery. also he got burned intentionally? like jude did when she went on her monologue about the feeling of burning? but then why did he wear the eye pendant. it stops him from being burned all the way which seems like he's not fully accepting the fire or whatever.

Nooooo I lost like a bunch of my notes rip. I keep forgetting to save.

Ep 104: tim gives a coherent statement without jon even being there. Ugh. Fucking robert smirk. Dont like him. Joey. Dont recognize the name. The show must go on. Clown. The spooky circus?

ep 105: total war... shogun 2? jon is just understanding languages again. "if i understood mandarin or cantonese" are you sure you dont big man?

ep 106: havent we heard this one already? mans in space? oh no this is just another episode in space. fairchild... uuuh. cant remember. oh! this is related to that! this is one of the ppl from the other side. sounds like a Vast thing. oh he's the one that the dude saw? but that guy didnt have a face... she's sorta like jon. wanting to dismiss the statements. lmao i love the workplace gossip. ace jon for the win! oh cmon elias dont be a dick. sunny meadows or whatever. thats the place we heard about.

ep 107: oh great is it jude perry again. Third Degree. bahahsdkfj she was arrested. sorry but imagining this old british lady getting arrested is funny. she was trying to resurrect him. using the skin book. he's not feeling well. jon take a nap. i wonder if this is what happens when he uses his powers too much. He gets into The Zone when he reads statements lol. didn't we have a burning train car in anothre statement? is it julia fairchild? bahahahs "kidnapped. Again." poor jon honestly. julia... about her dad. daughter of the murder shed guy? hunting like your dad liked to hunt or normal people hunting. oh hunting vampires!

ep 108: melanie has been suffering. poor martin peter lukas why do you have to be like this. can he not just use the front door? does he have to bother the ppl doing statements?

ep 109: how come he cut her off? kinda rude tbh. its either jon's influence or there was smth he didnt want her saying. is it gerard on the table? this sounds kinda like smth from one of the university episodes. is it the closed eye on the hand? yup. he's like one of the students! if the thing listening in is elias then... he can do that without the tape recorder yknow. plus who's to say it wont just turn itself on again

110: who wants to bet its a leitner?

111: Lukas related to The Lonely. I used to not like Gerard that much but i like him more now. but i thought there were 15? ohhh thats right isnt flesh newer? gerry for the win honestly. finally telling jon things.

112: lol "again" no one ever tells any of these ppl anything. tim and basira are just out of the loop constantly. music, like the war episodes. The hunt or the slaughter? probably the hunt. so Daisy is related to the hunt right? basira likes the reading, she's doing fine at the institute. daisy's getting worried...

113: it just turned on randomly. what is it lol. explossives! oh boy. why do they always assume he turned it on intentionally. melanie youre not making me like you that much. which entity is this about i cant tell. lol he was disappointed it was just the end. The title Breathing Room made me think it was gonna be about the buried but i guess not. So many of these entities deal with death but the end is one that deals in just death. it has no need for fancy deaths, just death is enough

114: more hilltop road statements? the tree. oh boy. ok the tree has 8 arms obviously theres the spider parallels. was she taken into an alternate universe? oh no. jon tries to phrase things so he's not asking questions. thats honestly good. "sometimes i was kidnapped" oh dear. they got gertrude. daisy ur so odd lmao. who wants to bet they dont know the tape recorder's running?

115: silaca? or whatever? antique man? meat grinder... related to the meat is meat episode? oh wow. they buy antiques from him. maybe dont antagonize this creature which can kill you?

116: lol theyre all just so done with elias. music? is it like the one band that if you hear them you die or wtvr. oh its chess? i am very much confused. mmm stranger go brr. gorilla skin? oh shit the dance. woah. this is so good. this is so gender. the words are wonderful. "you can just say tim" lmao trying to fool elias never feels like a good idea.

117: except elias lmaoo. oh shit. leitner getting some use for once idk. bruuh poor melanie she has been thru so much shit. martin you can just say youre worried about jon. lol he's so accurate in his jon impression. lol who was that. was that daisy? lmaoo. oop hi tim. oh god i hope tim doesnt die. i feel like i wouldve heard about that? but im not sure. destroying the source of knowledge is gonna be hard for jon. yay jon! you did a good thing. let him rest.

118: go off martin lmao. awww poor martin. oh god the tape gets that squealy quality and its awful.

119: woah. lots of things happening. uhh. POP OFF TIM!!

120: lmao elias giving a statement about jon's dreams lol. damn jon doesnt even get his own dreams? has to stay Watching even when he's asleep? f in the chat this man goes thru so much shit. oh boy its peter. lol martin my beloved. idk i dont trust peter.

[indigopurple]

Basically a review of OP episode 503 ig

Currently rewatching post-war arc (in the dub so I don't have any screenshots for u guys sry) and theres a few things id like to point out.

During a conversation Dadan once had with Garp, they were talking about Roger. Garp said that even if they were facing powerful enemies, he would never run away because he wouldnt dare leaving his comrads behind; it wasnt an option for him. Obviously we see this in Ace. But ALSO, isnt this what he did with Katakuri? It was a little different cuz of the setting mostly, but he separated himself from his crew to fight off katakuri, and lied to them about being okay so they didn't worry (he was already getting his ass kicked by then, so he just made that stupid smile and told them not to worry (or smth like that, I can remember the exact line) (that smile was so gross and fake cuz he fucking sucks at lying). Also he said roger destroyed a buncha soldiers cuz they mouthed off his men. That's what Ace tried to do but instead he died. :(

"The pain he went through just made him hold on tighter to the ones he loved" -Garp, about Roger. "Despite his flaws and his bad reputation, his crew still trusted him completely." -also Garp, about Roger. These both sound a lot like Luffy AND Ace.

When Dogra got home and told everyone about Sabo's ship being shit down and him dying (which we all know didnt happen, thank fuck), (by the way the absolutely lost looks on Ace's and Luffy's faces with the sudden silence hurt like a bitch), Luffy started crying and said "WE SHOULDNT'A LET HIM GO, IT'S ALL OUR FAULT". Which fucking says something about him (thinking of episodes 913-915 when he goes fucking berserk, but before that he learns that Kaido probably killed Tama and he says "I should've escorted them..!" (*ugly cries*)). Ace also reacted pretty similarly-- "Sabo...why didn't we go back into town and bring him back here?! We're so stupid!" And he gets mad and asks where he could find the bastard that killed him (obviously not getting a good answer since it was a fucking celestial dragon ugh). That is what Luffy does, in present time. He results to anger first, not sadness. Not sure when he learned to do that but I'm 99 percent sure it was from Ace. Also the blaming himself thing? High chance thats ALSO from Ace. Who else would teach him that self hating behaviour?!

Dadan pins Ace down to stop him from going after the Celestial Dragon to calm him down, telling him he cant do anything, he's not big or strong enough to do anything and he'll be killed as soon as he tries anything, especially since it was the whole country -the whole WORLD- that killed Sabo. He can't do anything. And then they tied him to a tree outside to let him cool off. Oh yeah then he also told luffy to stop crying like a little girl or else he'll- (and he didn't finish the sentence). ...Ok maybe thats why luffy started being more angry than sad.

This is where things get a little more :( . Ace reads the letter Sabo sent them before he died. As he reads, he walks to the end of the forest, to a cliff overlooking the ocean. And starts fucking bawling (btw the voice actor who had Ace's childhood part did not do a very good job, no where near as in character and real as Coleen Clickenberg did with all of Luffy's crying scenes. She was spot on.) ...do you see where im going with that? He isolated himself before letting himself feel sad. It was all rage and then calm beforehand. Y-you see where im going with that. Dont make me say it.

"How's Luffy doing, is he any better?" "Well...he hasnt been eating much, but he still eats twice as much as we do". Oh look, That's what happened after Ace died too. There's a behavioral pattern that hasnt gone away. Not sure why it wouldve tho.

Luffy is mopeing, lying on the ground in a similar setting ace was at when he cried. Hes thinking about some of the things Sabo said, like how theyre gonna sail the seas together, and he clenches his hands into tight, shaking fists. After Ace shows up and hits him, and talking abt some other stuff I don't feel like relaying, Luffy tightens his grip on the straw hat and tells ace, whimpering, he wants to get stronger (and stronger, and stronger, and stronger and stronger and....) And he wants to be the strongest in the world. "And then, I'll protect everyone. I won't lose anyone I care about". He gets stronger mainly to protect the people he loves. And then he asks ace to promise he won't die. To which he hits Luffy again and tells him he should be more worried about himself dying first. And then the famous line that hurts like a bitch- "I'm NEVER going to DIE!" And then this hopeful music comes on (fucking damnit funimation, u gotta do this? Really??) Also he says he wont die as long as he has a wussy little brother to protect. ...FUCK. Ok, the fist clenching is a thing he does all the fucking time, usually when he gets mad. This was different because he wasnt mad, he was sad. He clenched his fist because thinking about it hurt. Which, huh, sounds a lot like his whole episode after waking up from his 2 week coma on the polar tang. To try and stop the mental pain of those horrendous memories, he resulted to physically pain. He hurt himself. So, He clenches his fists in times like these to fight off the mental pain and the urge to cause himself physical pain. Guys, our boy is bad at emotions, help him. ....ok this paragraph is longer than I anticipated so ill dumb down the rest of it ig. Next part, him asking ace to promise he wont die. The music, the body language, the over change in mood- this comforts him. He stopped hiding his face and silently sobbing after ace said this. OH YEAH! didn't he tell jinbe not to die when they parted ways in Totto Land? And then, hes missing still in Wano and we see Luffy is worried....but convinced Jinbe will show up. Again, this comforts him. Hes nervous cuz someone KOFF KOFF ACE broke that promise once. But jinbe is his crew mate so he trusts him, thank god.

"-But whoever did it, they must be opposed to freedom." The whole freedom thing? That runs through Luffy's blood and spirit.His brothers fought for it, his dad is the man who strives to give everyone freedom basically, and Luffy himself has seen enough of the OPPOSITE of freedom to be so, so much more than just against it. Hence why he of course was so eager to free the slaves in Sabaody, the kids in punk hazard, the toys in dressrosa, the country of Wano from Kaido's tyrany. The apple doesnt fall far from the tree huh.

I dont think Luffy would remember his promise with Shanks if it werent for his brothers putting feul to his dream. It was a stupid bet at first; he just wanted to beat Shanks, right then. But after meeting Sabo and Ace, he found the opposite of freedom and human rights. And then he wanted, REALLY wanted, to become the free-est man in the world; the pirate king.

Last one i promise ok? This one is less connected to whats going on in the episode at this point, but something I noticed (its so obvious everyone has seen this ok) was when luffy cries, his posture is always open. He doesn't curl in on himself like many people would do (I know I would, lol). He doesnt hug himself, protect himself. He's just, opened up to whoever is watching, literally. This has a little more to do with something I haven't talked about much in this post yet; his self-destruction issues. I said he tried to hurt himself when he felt mental pain, which is definitely similar. But he cries and doesnt try to protect or comfort himself, like he doesn't have that programmed into his mind. Reminder that he only wants to live because of his dream, and if he doesnt have his dream, he wants to die. (Whoa.). Ok, so no self preservation mechanism at all rlly. Hes basically ride or die. So, when things hurt so much that he cries, he has no hope left. He just kinda...dies inside. So this was mildly different after sabo died. Yes we saw him just standing there, sobbing. But the next day he's still crying, and instead he's laying on the ground. I saw that and the voice in the back of my head told me he wanted to be a part of that lifeless dirt beneath him. Then, Ace walked over. And his words made him feel the hope that I told you about earlier, and he sat up into a sitting position. And HUGGED HIS LEGS TO HIS CHEST. There's some self preservation! Some hope! Some will to exist, to live! Something we saw none of as he sat in front of his brothers corpse, shutting down. He sat there, open to his enemies, incapable of protecting himself. Practically anyone couldve killed him right then and there. I think he mightve liked that, at that moment. Like thank god he has that stupidly good luck cuz if he didn't I swear someone couldve thrown and axe or FUCKING ANYTHING AT THAT MOMENT and hed be dead becuase he never physically or mentally prepared himself. On purpose.

Our poor boy needs some fucking attention and therapists. (Insert my rant post about how jinbe is on the crew primarily for anger management and therapy, not just being a helmsman.) Ugh, smh ugly cries

Aaaaand thats about the end of the episode. Theres so many little tics and peesonality traits that you notive thru this episode, and I only noticed them cuz im rewatching this part of the show for like the third time. I don't react as much as the first time of course but some things are definitely sadder after knowing what's going on and what will happen later on.

Moral of the story (post)? I think luffy is almost equally as alike -if not, more similar to roger as ace is. Also, high key genuinely think Luffy met like NO ONE but Garp before he met Shanks and his crew. What the fuck was his first like 5 years of being alive like? (He wantd to be a pirate cuz Garp didnt want that. Rebellious baby asshole. And then shanks made things worse, in a good way for luffy. And then ace and sabo made that worse thing worse for a good reason. Luffy lives...for those influences. And that is fucking it. Why.

Oh thanks tumblr for moving my picture to the bottom of the post u fucking idiot

[pbandjesse]

 I'm very very tired and just as upstairs getting ramen noodles right now so I'm doing a little business of talk to text so that I can get it done quickly. Today was wonderful and we still have another day in the half here.

We woke up today around 8:30. I'll warm it accidentally going off at 6:45 cuz I didn't realize it was on still from work. But that was okay. Just was up a little bit before me but we got up and got dressed. I found a little uncomfortable in the dress I wore. I feel very swollen today so I was pulling I close a lot. Are you comfortable. But it was okay. We went and got breakfast. We sat outside and eat and talked it was really nice. Then we walked Avenue for a while. Shocked. I went to Rite Aid to get more sunscreen because we just didn't feel like we had enough and enjoy the day.

We did a lot of window shopping. What in a lot of stores and touched a lot of things. And then we went to the bead making place. Or you bead a bracelet or necklace or something. I love doing those things so we did it together. We made bracelets that have fish kissing on them. It was funny because our braces definitely go together but they don't match. They're both very much in our color aesthetic it was really fun to figure out all the different things that we wanted to do. I had to rebead my whole piece twice because I decided to add a different stone and change the number order. It was a lot of fun and im really pleased with the outcome. 

I had a lot of free samples today, mostly sweet things, and I got to see a lot of neat stuff. And i just got to be with my friend. 

Eventually I declared i was to hot and we should go to the beach. So we did. We came back to the condo and got changed. Both looked hella cute. We got our beach chairs from the car and went to the ocean. 

It was very very packed. But we still got a spot in the shade of the pier. We both decided the water was to cold and we didnt want to commit to that. So we just wet our feet and went back to our chairs. 

I read a few chapters of my book. Its about The People's Temple and it's very good. Im still in the early half of Jim Jones's life, and its fascinating to see the progress of how he became Dad. 

It was also just a nice time people watching. 

Eventually I went and walked in the water looking for rocks and shells. Had a nice time. But soon we decided we were hungry. 

We tried to go to this one restaurant but they didn't accept thr type of credit card we had. So we went back home and got a differnt card snd came back. And that was the move because it was an excellent meal. We got bread, salad, caprese salad, and baked ravioli to share and it was the perfect amount of food and it was really good.

We went to the gelato place next. And got that and walked back to the condo. Swimming was next on the schedule.

We went up to the rooftop pool and the water was warm and so nice. I enjoyed floating a lot. And Jess got in for a while.

But she got out eventuality and i stayed in. Enjoyed the float. Eventually everyone else left. Including Jess. And i just sat in my towel with the sun on my back and that was just really nice. 

I came down to the room and got a shower once Jess was done. Felt good. Got dressed again and we headed back to the boardwalk. 

We shopped but mostly took pictures of stuff we liked. I got some shorts. We ate snacks. We took photobooth photos. Shared a half and half. People watched. We got crabby fries and i had to almost smack a seagull out of the air with my flip flop. Jess got a surprise box with a very cute penguin shaped like a burger. We saw so many cute toys. It was just a lot of fun. And it's not even over yet!

Im going to get ready for bed now. Tomorrow we have food plans and late night plans but not a lot else. I hope we get to go in the ocean and its not to cold. I hope it's a really nice day. 

I hope you are all also having a really nice day. Sleep well. Be safe! 

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: [Weds night before her bday] Ali: woman you home Carly: not mine y? Ali: because ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY Ali: and I need to come bearing gifts Carly: now? k then Carly: ill get there before u Ali: you @ one of the lads then? Ali: no rush 'cept I do wanna be the first so like b4 midnight cinders 🎃👠 Carly: i werent born @ 12 tho & u kno that from doing my chart 🔮🌟 Carly: but ur so cute Ali: tru but Ali: i'm excited Ali: can't start the party without guest of honour 7 Carly: aw Carly: i wont take these 15 💊s yet 👼 Carly: we can party together Ali: 🎁? Carly: idk can u call it a 🎁 if u have to give back Ali: Boo 👎 Carly: not what he said when we were done Ali: 🙄 still Ali: not very festive of him Carly: idc its been fun Carly: coulda stayed in w ma & da but its not a retirement party in the works like Ali: for now Ali: but I got better plans than either Carly: yea? Ali: 'course Ali: who am I Ali: who are we Carly: 🐅💙🐇 Carly: i barely knew u on my last bday 😢💔 Ali: it's insane Ali: you're so important and integral to me how did we not get together before then Ali: I'm not the only one with plans tho 🌌💕 Carly: too many lads to swap first ha Carly: i kno my ma has been planning all wk but idk cuz shes learned to be subtle somehow Carly: must b her new man teaching her things Ali: Eskimo sisters for life, baby 😂 Ali: 👀 come thru shaz Ali: sounds promising Carly: 🤞🌌🔮 Ali: not her new man, obvs Carly: hes no cavante tho still only a few yrs older Ali: if I beat you I'll hit her up for the scoop Carly: 🍀 Ali: 😬 Ali: I guess we've got her answer for the age old experience vs stamina Carly: could b where i left her wine drunk in the hot tub still Carly: falls asleep there more than the marital bed Carly: mermaid energy ha Ali: not wine drunk Ali: worse energy than coke rage, I swear Ali: watch out cat lady, protect your children Carly: aw ill look after them Ali: 👼 Ali: I'll take any bday bumps for you 💪 Carly: never liked coke or wine soz ma if thats my 🎁 Carly: still my hero 💙 Ali: those people are the worst Ali: lemme buy something for me and give it to you Ali: no sharon THAT IS NOT 👏 IN 👏 THE 👏 SPIRIT 👏 OKAY 👏 Carly: my gma does that every yr! xmas too Carly: so boring unwrapping that bible each time Carly: good rolling paper tho Ali: 😂 Ali: the lord is in you, it's what she wanted Ali: just in your lungs but you know Carly: ha Carly: what r u bringing me boo? Ali: don't you want the surprise babe Carly: idk last time u really surprised me it was w a divorce so u could get ur man Ali: 😥 Carly: 😂 jk u kno i love surprises Ali: just devastated you're calling me predictable for the last, how many months Ali: cut me deep, birthday girl Carly: i dont surprise easy Carly: y the lads like me Carly: dont b sad baby Ali: never Ali: not when there's partying to be done Carly: yay Ali: and a 👸 to celebrate Carly: ur sweet 🍬🍭 Carly: i dont look like a princess rn Carly: no running away Ali: you always do Ali: even when you running from ogres Carly: ur gonna make me look worse when im crying too Ali: meant to save them for the party Ali: but I'll never tell Carly: ha its been a few yrs since a bday tantrum Carly: really had to wait for that bike tho Ali: and #werk baby Ali: you were as adorable then, how your parents didn't spoil you is a mystery to me Carly: ask them if u do get here before me Carly: but before i was medicated i wasnt as 👼 could b the answer Ali: lecture 'em on how wrong they were, more like Carly: ur a bias little 🐱💙 Carly: & u didnt kno me then even if u do remember i grew into my 👂s Ali: 😂 Ali: well I never grew into my 👁s and my 'tudes no better either and you still love me so Ali: deal with it, Walsh 😜 Carly: aw u were the cutest 👶 Carly: & u get cuter every yr Ali: hey, don't spoil my heartfelt message in your card! Ali: 😏 Carly: im sorry Carly: ill have 1 for the road & forget Ali: I think one of the boys just catcalled me without offering to give me a ride in their white van/carriage Ali: see me struggling here lads, is that part of the appeal? probs Carly: which y? ill threaten to uninvite him from the party Carly: 1* Ali: not the kinda bitch to resort to racism 'cos I'm mildly upset or angered but they really be looking the same behind the wheel of a transit, like Ali: think it was one of Ronan's brothers? Ali: and in fairness, never slept with you so whaddya owe me, kind sir Carly: ha Carly: if he could see & be seen @ the wheel then i reckon i kno Carly: & i have slept w him so he will b 💔😢 if he cant celebrate w me Ali: my hero 💚 Carly: 💙 Carly: been thru every1 old enough in that fam now ha Carly: gonna have to move like Ali: I wish I could tell you the surprise was a hot new fam Ali: alas Ali: wouldn't fit them on my back, like Carly: 😢💔 Ali: I've let you down Ali: how could I Ali: gonna eat my feelings 🎂 Carly: 🍯🐝 no Carly: never Ali: what's the dresscode for this shindig then Carly: idk not allowed to go w bday suits Carly: my da overruled me Ali: gotta whittle down my knock you dead options Ali: even with those stifling guidelines, tah Mr Walsh, I should manage it Carly: i believe in u baby Ali: 👼👼👼 Carly: im back btw Carly: used my wings mayb Ali: damn Ali: was really hopinh for some 1x1 with your ma Carly: she will scoot over in bed for u Carly: not just me who misses u Ali: awh Ali: can we convince her to give you your present early or nah Ali: I say yeah Carly: me too so 2 votes Carly: my da will b asleep too deep to cast his even if she says no weve outnumbered her Ali: 💪 Ali: I'll put the phone down and run Ali: gimme 5 Carly: k Carly: be careful tho Carly: some of the 💡 r out Ali: 👌 Ali: my middle name Carly: fun is ur middle name Carly: how many do u have? Ali: as many as you want Ali: 😉 Ali: but just the one, actually Carly: hot Carly: u can have 1 of mine then wed both have 2 each Ali: are you actually 👑 Carly: my ma wishes Carly: queen of the site tho Carly: ha Ali: I've not bought her a crown Ali: not soz Carly: its k shes got her prom tiara somewhere Ali: memories 🎶 Carly: am i gonna peak before 18 too? Ali: never Ali: only way is 📈 baby Carly: u make me feel really happy u kno Ali: ☀🌻🍓🍯🐝🐰 Ali: it's mutual boo Carly: im crying Carly: & smiling Carly: its the 💊s ma Ali: it's the 💘 Ali: she gets it Carly: aw Carly: yea shes really 💘 w the lad from the chemist Carly: knocking our 💙 off the top Ali: can't be having that Ali: got all weekend to prove we're 🥇 Carly: til ur bf shows up Ali: nuuh Ali: it's all about you Carly: ur so nice to me Ali: you'll see feel and believe it ✨ Carly: 🔮🌌 Carly: r u gonna stay? Ali: can I? Carly: yea Ali: then yeah Carly: aw ur my 🎁 Ali: I haven't copped out that hard, don't worry Ali: come help me Ali: not very gentlemanly of me but I wanna be with you before we've gotta hear about the prom queen's glory days Carly: k Carly: 💪💙

[softhourswithseb]

Délavé -OSH fanfic

1•2•3•?

Sehun x Reader -College bad boy and motorcycle sehun-

Moodboard made by @wolveswithblackpearls (it’s absolutely amazing thank you💕)

“You never listened to me, you never will."

11:50

Délavé....délavé....the word was swarming up your mind, as you continued reading the book.You were at the library waiting for your 'boyfriend' to come and join you so you guys can go out, the library was always your place to meet up. While waiting you had picked up a book to read.You and your boyfriend had started to date ever since you got into college, back then Sehun was....normal even though you hated saying that because it made sehun seem abnormal where as he isn’t. He was always with you and both of your group of friends that you both met at the start of college, until one day he just stopped, he went out with those you don't even feel uncomfortable around, sehun would usually do things that would make you feel uncomfortable just for the ‘fun’ of it, you felt like a toy, he never listened to you, he never will, now you don't even know him. Your a nobody to him , yet you got this opportunity to finally get him out of his friends and join you for a date.

You still had hope.

...hope.

01:35 pm

Crushed. That's how you felt. You had been stood up by your own boyfriend, the library closes at 4 and it was 1:35 so you decided to go home and trying to forget what has happened, you started walking out in the rain to your apartment as you didn’t bring much money because sehun was supposed to be your transport home. You didn't care if your mascara was running, you didn't care if you were soaking wet. Hope is useless and stupid. Love is useless and stupid. Sehun is useless and stupid.

You carried on walking until you met a familiar door of your apartment, you got in dropping everything on the floor and straight going into the shower. The water comforted you and embraced you with warmth unlike the rain crushing down onto you leaving wounds.You got out and dressed up in a hoodie and tights and got yourself in bed. You didn't bother doing anything else, but just to drown yourself in your sorrow but that didn't happened, as you felt vibrations from you phone notifying you of a text message.

_sehun_:sorry I missed our date, I got held back cuz of friends. Ly tho x

Friends.....really?Friends. You gulped down and that same track of thoughts came back again, sehun isn't sehun, and you were just a mere toy to him. Was I not good enough? Was I a bad girlfriend?Did i say anything? You shaken those thoughts away you had enough and when its enough for you, then its fucking enough you had deleted every memory of Sehun away from your phone keeping your broken feelings trapped some where isolated. You were done with his bullshit .

17/11/18

It's been a whole week, you went college and came home did your work and just slept. You ignored every notification or call from everybody, you weren't bothered. It was Saturday and all you wanted to do was to go on Netflix and eat, you didn't really think anyone would come. So you carried on with your day until you heard the door open. No one had your keys, or so you thought you went to go and see who came and came to see a familiar face that you hated with all your guts.

Sehun...

"What are you doing here?" Looking up to him, he looked confused back.

He chuckled "what do you mean 'what are you doing here' am I not your boyfriend?"

You looked up at him with your eyebrows raised. "Am done with your bullshit sehun, just get the fuck out" you didn't have the energy to go all out him.

"Baby come on, stop talking shit..look there's this party today wear something-" you cut him off "sexy? You wish, and am not talking shit so I suggest that you get the fuck out of here because I am done with you".

Sehun frowned "oh really?" "Yes really" you mocked back.

"I've done everything for you yet yo-" "excuse me what? What everything, what bullshit everything because this whole relationship was just me. Fucking me sehun because I was the one trying while your ass went off doing bullshit. You left me you left all of us. You never listened to me, you never will now please for God sake get out " you pointed at the door. Sehun was mad and you could see it, he threw your spare house keys somewhere in your room and marched off and slammed the door, your heart was beating loudly and fast, at least you got rid of him but not fully.

24/11/18

“Y/N OH SO HELP ME I WILL DRAG YOU TO THIS PARTY IN YOUR PJS IF YOU DON’T” your best friend called out, you chuckled you planned this day to be just you and y/bf/n going out to eat, but she had other plans she wanted to go to the party that jimin had invited her to. Y/bf/n fully knew that you had left sehun like a few days ago but she couldn’t give a shit, apparently you had to get some new ‘adventure’ which made you laugh.

You don’t mind going to parties but not ALL the time “fine but don’t leave me there all alone and sneaking off to suck jimins face off” you joked, y/bf/n gave you a short fake laugh “yh yh I won't leave ya virgin ass” you laughed back knowing well that she is going to leave you all alone in a crowd of random people.

Both of you started to get dressed, while y/bf/n chose a skin-tight dress you, on the other hand, chose ripped skinny jeans with a black shirt under-tucked finishing it with a black leather jacket. Your hair was curled with little makeup consisting eye liner, mascara and gloss.Y/bf/n was driving, when the both of you arrived you both got out and checked the place out, you weren’t surprised when you saw some big ass mansion, jimin had rich parents so he was technically a spoiled kid but never acted like one. Most of the time.

When getting in, you both went to a bar you didn’t want to get drunk as how you will be driving back to your apartment dragging y/bf/n behind you, so really most the time here you will be doing is just chilling out and probably eavesdropping hearing the new gossip, most of it was about the hook ups in college and what not exams and stuff when the two girls beside you began on to the next topic someone had came towards you. Jongin.

“whats up shorty, hows life without sehun?” Jongin was smirking at you, you’d replied dully “better but still the same” you didn’t bother looking at jongin knowing that it will piss you off even more.

“You lost most of your reputation breaking up with our No.1 biker” you scoffed “as if I ever cared about reputation when I was around you shitheads” Jongin made you face him his eyebrows furrowed “shitheads?”

You pushed your face away and rolled your eyes “and what the fuck do you mean bike? sehun never owned a motorcycle” jongin barked a laugh “God he didn’t tell you, I shouldn’t be fucking surprised and I supposed you know he has been fucking around with seoyeon” jongin came face to face with you.

 “What’s your fucking problem jongin?” you were more than irritated “I'm trying to see if you still love biker boy” “you should know the damn answer, you really think i broke up with him for jokes.” you suddenly felt uncomfortable and out of place where you currently were, jongins voice went deep “really, well look over there” you sighed out of irritation and looked over where jongin was looking.

There was seoyeon kissing sehun holding onto him as if her life depended on it. You gasped, paralyzed at that moment, you were nudged a few times finally, you looked at what jongin gave you, a glass full of alcohol “do it y/n”  you looked at jongin, seeing that he himself wanted something as well. Revenge.

You toke the glass from his hands and stalked towards the couple, sehun pushed seoyeon off of him when he noticed your presence he smirked at you, you smiled back then immediately splashing the cold drink in sehuns face and throwing the glass onto the floor, making it smash into thousands of fragmented little pieces. Everyone stared at you, but you couldn’t care less and walked out of the party towards y/bf/n car.

Before you got in the car someone had called your name.

23:04

________________________________________________________________

i decided to post this early, because i felt bad not posting, this is the first part of this new fanfic!

 i hope you like this new fanfic please like and support!

i think everyone knows who called y/n and y/bf/n means your best friends name- sorry for those who didnt know :p

love-A💕