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#then the context is going to be the same for the various post
lesbiansloveseokjin · 9 months
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day 7/548 of jungkook's military service
this selca was posted on 130612 with the caption:
This is Jungkook. Thank you so much to all the fans who came to our showcase today. It was really fun~ It's all thanks to the fans. It really hit me that I finally debuted.. ㅎㅎ I hope the fans had fun..
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#방탄소년단 Thanks to all the people who came to the debut showcase! Come back carefully! Also, let's meet at M!Countdown tomorrow ^^*
(trans cr: Iraide @ bts-trans)
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here's the debut showcase and waiting room interview:
youtube
bangtan bomb filmed over 130612-130614:
youtube
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coquelicoq · 1 year
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what i like especially about the pronouns in the goblin emperor is that this language doesn't just have the T-V distinction (aka informal vs. formal second-person pronouns, in this case 'thou' vs. 'you'), it also has informal and formal first-person pronouns. having BOTH of these distinctions in the same language lets you fine-tune your tone by mixing and matching. with only one axis of formality, when you use informal pronouns, are you being familiar in an intimate way, or in an insolent or dismissive way? when you use formal pronouns, are you being polite or standoffish? you can't tell just from the pronouns; there's ambiguity. but a language where you can use a formal first-person pronoun in the same sentence as an informal second-person pronoun allows you to distance yourself (via the formal first) while also being familiar (via the informal second), thereby achieving the conversational tenor known to linguists as Fuck Thee Specifically.
#just kidding i don't know what linguists call that tenor. or any tenors. i'm not totally positive what a tenor even is#but i can't let that stop me from writing a jokey post on tumblr dot com#register is a very interesting area of linguistics that i know very little about#so i'm probably revealing the depths of my vast ignorance here to all the sociolinguists who surely hang on my every word#but i've always thought of the formal/informal pronoun thing as being about two things: intimacy-distance & rudeness-politeness#and of course you can usually tell from context whether a formal pronoun is meant to indicate distance or politeness#(plus distance and politeness are related to each other (to various degrees depending on culture))#but it seems like it would be cool to have a built-in alignment chart of sorts just for pronoun combos#instead of prep jock nerd goth...why not try intimate self-effacing polite superior?#the goblin emperor#pronouns#register#sociolinguistics#my posts#f#anyway i know i said i wasn't going to reread the goblin emperor...but guess what. lol#and i edited my tags on that earlier post but fyi the language DOES distinguish between plural and formal singular pronouns#i had said i thought it used the same pronouns for plural and formal but i just wasn't paying close enough attention#so anyway i just reread the part where maia is talking to setheris in formal first and informal second#and you can see setheris going ohhh shit. oh shit oh shit oh shit#i'm in biiiiiig trouble#you sure are dude. that's the Time to Grovel signal#it's interesting because at the very beginning of the book when i first saw the formal first used i just thought it was the royal we#because i knew the main character was supposed to be royalty#but then EVERYONE was doing it. so it's not the royal we it's just the formal we#however. this does make me realize that the way the royal we would function in a language that retains the t-v distinction#is the same way i'm describing here. it's just reserving that particular tone (i'm better than you and am displeased with you)#for royalty only. which makes sense given royalty's whole deal
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loppiopio · 1 year
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just some 🥥 related sillies i've made for that fic we all know.
#durarara#izaya orihara#shizuo heiwajima#shizaya#a cheap imitation#i made a thing#i've been holding off on posting these here for so long whoops#i'm so shy... check out my lemonade guys#i've been very motivated to make various things for this fic as a result of this book club i've been hosting for my friends#i actually made the first image (not the video) like two years ago?#back around when i first read the fic and started being annoying about it to my friends#never posted it though because the shizuo i drew was ugly!!!#and the shizuo i drew for the second image this time around is still ugly!! unfortunately :(#well anyways if it isn't clear the images are both for chapter 19 while the video is for chapters 28 to 29 and a little bit of 30 lol#also i know izaya's actual problem isn't fucking shizuo but kissing him lol but it was funnier to keep it like this#you can check out more of this deranged behaviour over at my twitter of the same name#i know not everyone wants to go there though especially with the current situation...#so i'll try to bring over the more memorable stuff to post in batches over here which i think is the stuff i did any art for#since i've made a lot of multimedia type things dedicated to particular chapters as “marketing” for my friends#but i'm not sure they'll make much sense out of context so#my plan is to compile all of everything i've made for the fic during the book club into a powerpoint that i'll try to keep for posterity#because ngl i feel i went kinda hard with certain things that maybe only two people will appreciate#but i'll do it for those two people out there#also it's a whole book club for aci!!#*i'd* want to see what some random people have been up to with a book club for this fic#be the change you want to see in the world#side note i wonder if having so many fucking tags on your own post is a bad look...#idk it's so much clutter but i have too many things to say!!#i look back at my own previous tags and i physically can't bring myself to read them ahhhh#i hope anyone's enjoying them anyways
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tiny-cloud-of-flowers · 8 months
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Despite her attempts to collect herself, it took Aria a long time of letting tears fall and letting herself purr before she could finally speak again. When she did so, her voice sounded somewhat hoarse, but it was still unmistakeable as hers.
"You.. would really love something like me.." she was mumbling.
"Of *course* I would! And do..!" Clio said back, keeping her own voice light in return. "I'm always gonna be here for you, Ari. And I'm just.. so so glad that you're okay.."
She trailed off and started crying again, this time fully with joy and relief.
(Anyone is welcome to comment on and/or reblog my work if they want to, as long as my DNI is respected)
Tag list: @starlit-selfships | @edencantstopfallininlove | @yoomtahsgf | @sunlight-ships | @dragonsmooch | @thatslikesometaldude | @kuroiikamen | @artificervaldi | @keyblade-ships | @seahydra | @dmclr | @neuvilline
(If you would like to be tagged in any of my future work, please use this form!)
Thank you kindly to anyone who has taken the time to look at this ^-^
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bidokja · 1 year
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Read villianint cause of your posting about it, on the fucking floor now with the. Themes and parallels. Thank you I'm going to think about it for weeks now. The piano and violin scene makes me feel insane.
WE'VE GOT ANOTHER ONE (<- says this in the same way as a fisherman reeling in a big catch AND in the way medical staff in an ER drama yells as another victim from a pile-up rolls in the doors)
I TOLDDD YALL U WERENT READYYY there is NO surviving the piano and violin scene. 100 percent sure fire kill rate.
ye zimu's classmates thinking his recent brighter personality must be cause of a girlfriend when it's cause of ling chen. ling chen stealing the show for his aunt and smiling the whole time. the piano/violin duet being both a parallel to ye zimu's parents AND a foil/contrast to their past/alternate selves (showing us how their back-n-forth/push-n-pull has permanently changed from something they do Against each other to something they do With each other). the music notes overlapping. the flowers blooming. the butterfliesss. OTL
the way that ye zimu and ling chen are like DIRECTLY paralleled to ye zimu's parents who were super genuinely In Love. like, literally we learn his parents' backstory and how they fell in love and played violin and piano together IN THE MIDST OF SETTING UP FOR THE PERFORMANCE. COME ONNN. THE HEAVY HANDEDNESS HERE IS INSANE.
(like, fuck his dad all my homies hate his dad i hope he rots. but there is like Zero denying how sweetly deeply in love his parent were. that single "understood" from him Broke me in whole new ways. masterfully done writing to have you genuinely sympathize with him while still letting you Hate him and not justifying his actions. cause like. extra layer of meaning: what is that if not just how a traumatized kid would view their complicated relationship with their shitty parent).
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cordeliawhohung · 5 months
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pornstar!gaz x fem!reader | read drunk night for more context
kyle is jealous
cw: minor smut, jealousy related angst
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Kyle hasn’t seen you since the night he brought you home from the bar. 
It’s the only thing he can think about as he enters the studio building with his hands shoved deep in his jumper. Regret has lingered in the back of his mind since that night, and he hasn’t been able to shake the feeling. All he can see is your tired body curled up in bed, and hear your sweet, tired voice asking him if he’d stay the night; or you saying that you loved him. It plays on repeat in his mind, nothing but a broken record of memories haunting him with what could have been had he not run away. 
He sighs to himself as he meanders through the building. He’s filming today, but not with you, and he’s not sure if he should be grateful for that or not. Things have been odd between you and Kyle. Or maybe everything is fine and he’s stressing about it more than he should; truly, he cannot tell. You sent him a text the morning you woke up after your drunken night out, apologizing for dragging him halfway across the city, but you never mentioned anything else. Not how you stripped in front of him, or straddled him on your bed, or for anything you said. All other conversations after that have only consisted of small talk and shitty memes you’ve found online. 
If he thinks about it hard enough, he can still feel your thighs on either side of his hips, and still smell the cheap liquor on your breath. He’d never seen you look at him like that before; like you were going to eat him alive — like you were begging him to devour you the same way you wanted to consume him.
Twitchy fingers buzz with anxiety as Kyle reaches the filming floor. There’s still a bit of time before he has to start getting ready, but a part of him is wishing he’ll run into you. He’s almost certain seeing you will drive him crazy even further, and still he doesn’t care. Careful eyes scan signs and names and times posted next to the various filming rooms until he finds your name, along with the name of your partner for that day — a name he thinks he recognizes, but not one he cares enough to stare at for longer than needed.
Ice forms in his veins when he realizes he can hear your moans on the other side of the door. It’s a melody he has memorized very well, yet there’s something twisted and rotten that settles in his stomach. They sound… real. Not like the forced, over dramatic ones he usually hears when you film with other people. No, this is sweet as candy. It’s a taste you usually reserve only for him.
He bites the inside of his cheek as he opens the door and sneaks on set. 
As always, you’re beautiful. No — fuck that — you’re radiant. You always have this aura about you that draws Kyle in and traps him like a fly caught in a web, and god does it feel like death. It’s a chest crushing realization when he sees you splayed on your back like some science dissection project, speared on another man’s thick cock. The ice in his veins quickly warms to a roaring boil as the strangers hands explore your body and lips conquer the dip of your neck. 
Kyle can’t tell what’s more infuriating; the fact another man is all over you, or that this stranger is fucking you so well he can see the way your eyes roll into the back of your head. 
Cameras zoom in close on your face as your body shutters with each thrust. Iron floods Kyle’s mouth as his teeth tear through the sensitive flesh of his cheek, and he swallows it back as this stranger chuckles. It’s a deep, rumbling sound. You squirm at it, but it only makes Kyle feel sick. 
“Sweet thing,” the man mutters into your neck. He’s large, with a back so broad it nearly envelops your entire body. You’re no tiny, helpless thing, but the size of this man dwarfs you into a helpless ragdoll in his tattooed arms. “You love this, don’t you?” 
Kyle’s stomach drops as he watches you nod your head, and for a moment he’s glad that the man is faced away from him; though, he’s certain he can feel him glaring. 
“Come on, I know you can use your words. You were being so vocal earlier,” the man teases. “Tell me how much you love this.” 
“Fuck,” you stutter. All it takes is a well placed thumb on your clit to get your mind short circuiting, and Kyle can visibly see the disconnect in your brain. “I-I love this… I- thank you- I love you, fuck.” 
The only thing Kyle can hear after that is the sound of blood rushing in his ears. Darkness clouds his vision until it’s tunneling in on you, and the taste of iron becomes so strong on his tongue he feels his stomach rage against it. He doesn’t know how much longer he can stay in that studio with the sizzling lights and that fucking director praising you and your partner or the delicious sounds of your moans. The moans someone else is causing; some intruder, some bastard, some — 
He nearly hits Johnny with the door when he bursts off set. The man jumps back with his arms raised as if trying to calm a wild animal, which Kyle isn’t very far off from being. His eyebrows sit heavy against the top of his eyes in a scowl, and his lips won’t stop twitching. Johnny looks back and forth between him, and the sign on the door, before a slight smirk pulls at his lips. 
“Rough day?” he asks. 
Kyle doesn’t know what to say, but he does know that the knowing look on Johnny’s face certainly isn’t helping anything. He shoves his hands in his pockets to hide the way his fingers shake, and he lets out a heavy huff. 
“Don’t take it personally. Simon’s got good dick, that’s all,” Johnny attempts to rationalize. “I doubt he’s trying to steal your girl.” 
“She’s not my girl,” Kyle retorts. And you’re not. He doesn’t own you. You don’t belong to him. You can do whatever you like. 
So why does it still hurt? 
Johnny raises an eyebrow. “Isn’t she?” 
He doesn’t respond. He’s afraid of the words that would leave his mouth if he even attempted to. Instead, he allows Johnny to toss his arm over his shoulder and lead him down the hall, putting distance between him and the waning sounds of your moans bleeding through the door. 
“Look, mate, you’ve gotta come clean eventually,” Johnny says with a sigh. “This isn’t good for you, or her.”
“It’s more complicated than that,” Kyle defends. 
“You only think it’s complicated because you’re a coward,” Johnny retorts. 
“I’m not a coward!”
“You’re a fuckin’ coward who needs to get his shit together and fuckin’ talk to her.” 
Once they’re far enough away from the set, Johnny stops and turns Kyle to face him. The man is still brooding with his hands in his pockets, but it’s impossible for Kyle to not at least hear him out. 
“You’ve either got to fess up, or let her go, but this pining bullshit isn’t healthy. You think you’re the first person in this industry to fall a little bit in love after a few good fucks?” Johnny pauses as the look in Kyle’s eyes soften. He gives his shoulder a firm squeeze. It’s not a little bit in love; it’s something worse than that. It’s an infatuation that’s tearing the poor man apart. “Look, there’s the wrap party tonight, right? I know that’s not really your thing, but I overheard her saying she plans to be there. Get a bit of alcohol in your system and talk to her before you kill yourself over it.” 
Kyle’s eyes flicker to the ground where he stares at his feet. That super heated blood in his veins has cooled, but the scorching is still there, plaguing him from the inside out. A tightness forms in his throat, and he swears his vocal chords are about to snap. 
“And if she doesn’t feel the same?” he asks. 
Johnny’s lips tighten before he shakes his head and shrugs. “Either way. You’ll have your answer.” 
A heavy silence falls between them as Johnny takes a step back, blue eyes watching him carefully. It’s a heavy burden to bear, he knows, yet all he can offer is a quiet condolence before leaving Kyle alone in the hallway with his thoughts. 
And his thoughts are loud. Demanding. Degrading. It’s a mix of two very different memories repeating over and over in his head. In his mind, he can still hear you saying that you love him, half awake and sleepy as the alcohol clouds your mind too much to speak coherently. But it’s tainted now. Filthy and stained with the way you sounded when you said I love you to Simon. 
He checks the time on his phone and sighs as he realizes he’s running late. Hard to keep track of everything when you consume his attention every waking moment of the day. A curse leaves his lips as he walks down the hallway, making way towards his dressing room. 
As your moans fade into the white noise of the hallway, he tries not to think about how he’s more than likely going to ruin his life tonight. 
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cowboys-tshot · 7 months
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Circe and Odysseus in Epic: The Musical
EDIT: DO NOT TAKE MY WORD AS THE 100% TRUTH!!
I took some classes and wrote a paper about ancient Greek culture, but I am in NO WAY an expert. Please read through the reblogs to see some good criticisms and discussion about this topic further. My point overall stands that you can't apply modern rules and standards to ancient stories, but my evidence is undoubtedly flawed! This post has been edited to try and better reflect this.
I'm seeing everyone pointing out the possible issues with Epic the Musical's deviation from the original story of Circe and Odysseus, and as someone who's studied Ancient Greece/ancient Greek myths a bit, I wanted to say some stuff about it. This will be a bit of a long one, so apologies for my rambling!
Note that I'm not trying to shit on SA survivor's perspectives and (completely valid) arguments. I'm just trying to offer some context surrounding the original myth and how it fits (or rather, doesn't fit) with a modern audience. If I'm wrong with any of this, feel free to call me out! Criticize the shit out of me! I like learning about Greek culture and myths and would 100% love to hear other perspectives on this.
So, a few points about Ancient Greek myths to kind of explain the context around Circe and Odysseus:
Greek myths often did not have good views/depictions of women. Women were very often depicted as conniving, selfish, sexually insatiable creatures. There are a few deviations from this trope, the most prominent of which being Penelope herself—she's basically the ideal Greek wife, staying loyal to her husband for 20 years and all that.
Adultery often only applied to women. Husbands cheating on their wives wasn't merely tolerated, but kind of expected. Men often cheated on their wives with various kinds of prostitutes, concubines, mistresses, etc. Although, sleeping with unmarried women (that weren't specifically prostitutes) or married women was still looked down upon. Women didn't have this same standard. They could only sleep with their husbands—hell, their husbands (and family) were pretty much the only men they could even interact with once some really sexist Asiatic practices were brought to Athens.
The original myth has Hermes very plainly lay out how Odysseus' confrontation with Circe will go: Odysseus will eat the moly, draw his sword at her, she'll proposition him, and Hermes directly tells Odysseus to accept. Basically a "sleep with her if you want your men to live" situation. (See this post for more specifics on this).
So, let's apply this to Epic: The Musical. Here's some reasons I think may explain the Circe myth being changed:
The Greek "women being evil" stereotype is... problematic. While I 100% understand that it's important to acknowledge male victims of SA, I don't think the original myth was focusing on Odysseus being a victim—I saw it more of an emphasis on Circe being a sexually selfish woman, as women were often believed to be. Changing Circe to be less conniving and evil deviates from the concerning Greek stereotype.
The SA in the myth is not actually very clearly SA. Yes, with a modern perspective, it absolutely is sexual coercion, but for ancient Greeks, not so much. It made sense to them that sex could be transactional, especially when gods were involved. It's already been established that Epic, while still generally accurate to the original myth, does change things relating to morality/themes in order to better align with modern Western ideas (i.e. OG Odysseus not being as remorseful and merciful, as that was expected of a Greek hero, but Epic Odysseus having more empathy because that's more modernly heroic). If something from the original myth doesn't translate well into modern culture, then it's understandable to want to change or omit it.
In the case that the original Circe myth wasn't SA (I'm not saying one is more right than the other, I'm just covering all the bases), then it wouldn't even constitute as cheating. Like I described earlier, men often slept with women that weren't their wives. Plus, being a goddess, she's already kinda exempt from being blamed if Odysseus slept with her—only women are ever really blamed for sleeping with (or being SAed by) gods, and even then, their husbands sometimes don't even give a shit. But modernly, we would not see it that way. To us, it's not societally acceptable for a married man to sleep with another woman (without his wife's consent, at least). While Ancient Greeks viewed Odysseus as a good (or at least okay) husband, a modern audience wouldn't. Making Odysseus loyal to Penelope and not sleeping with other women (assuming this wasn't SA, but again that's one interpretation) makes him the good, loyal, empathic, modernly heroic man that Epic is clearly aiming for. Repeating my last point: If something from the original myth doesn't translate well into modern culture, then it's understandable to want to change or omit it.
Applying modern perspectives on Ancient Greek society and mythology isn't worth it. Like, we all joke about Greek mythology/Ancient Greece being super gay, but it was often just what we consider pedophilia (it's called pederasty if you'd like to know more). Y'know the Hades and Persephone story? Like, the original one with the kidnapping? Yeah, that was kinda normal in some areas. The myth of Demeter and Persephone is tragic, yes, but it was so normal that a lot of wedding ceremonies included references/recreations of it! Girls got married off ASAP after their first menstruation to men of at least 30 years old. We don't tolerate that shit today (for the most part, at least)! But it was normal in Ancient Greece. Applying modern rules and standards to ancient culture just does not work.
Anyways, I'll shut up now! I'm gonna go keep listening to The Circe Saga lmao
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bonefall · 3 months
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i’m curious- can you explain, from prepping to actual processing and cooking and such, how the clans make sausage? is it really that easy?
SAUSAGES!!!
It's SO easy. The WHOLE process from prep to cooking is essentially 5 steps. Sausage is so old that it predates the historic record. The earliest record of it is from 4,000 BC-- but it's SO simple to make that it's almost a guarantee that any carnivorous society would learn how to make their own.
You don't even need fire. Most types of sausage are made by cooking the meat with heat or smoke, but you can get SALAMI through passive fermentation and air drying. Pepperoni is also in that same category of "dry sausage"! It was an invention of Italian American immigrants modifying sopressatta back in the 1920s.
Sausage is how you can use every last little scrap of meat on an animal, AND preserve it while you're at it. There's a ton of different types of sausages, but what binds them, literally, is that they're meat stuffed in digestive tract. ALL types of meat. The filling can be offal, muscle, or even blood, packed in with varying types of preservatives and spices.
(though in modern sausage production they use don't use natural cases as often, because it's more expensive than artificial collagen casing. that's actually how you can tell right away if you're at a quality pizza place or not-- if your pepperoni "cups" up after it's cooked, it's made with the real stuff. That's caused by the natural casing shrinking because of the heat.)
the TL;DR of making sausage is collect, scrape, soak, stuff, dry. Five simple steps. I am going to create an incredibly detailed walkthrough of it, every little tiny thing, from harvest to mealtime.
Minimum tools needed: a flat rock and a dark place, such as a cave.
Recommended tools: A flat rock, a bird bone with a stick, a cold underground den, fire.
It usually begins when an animal is brought back to camp, though it could even be started right in the field where prey is caught.;
CONTENT WARNING
This post contains discussions of evisceration and unsanitary topics in the context of natural butchery.
We're going to talk about disembowelment and processing animal organs into food. This includes how to open a carcass, and washing out the things that intestines usually contain. There is also an image of sausage casings at various stages of processing, including when it's still raw (but clean) intestine.
I was taught how to clean a deer carcass when I was only a teenager and I've never been squeamish, but everyone's tolerance for this sort of thing is different. It's okay if this isn't something you can handle; just know that the process of sausage making is easy, yet still a work of skill.
Appreciate the effort that goes into making your food! Just remember; there's a reason why they warn you about "finding out how the sausage is made!"
Step 1: Collecting the offal
You might think that because the prey that Clan cats hunt are so small, there would be some animals they can't make sausage from because of it. That's not the case! Bowels are naturally stretchy and will expand when stuffed; even a mouse can make for snack-sized sausages that a cat would enjoy.
(Remember; an entire mouse is approximately 1 meal for a single warrior.)
Removing the intestines is easy to do, requires no fire, and is necessary for avoiding parasites. Even a canon-compliant Clan can, and should, do this as part of their food processing. Canon treats claws like they're small knives and I do too because it's cool as hell, but if your Clan is more tool advanced, you could even allow them to use knives.
That gruesome phrase, "there's more than one way to skin a cat" is EXTREMELY accurate for ALL types of skinning. EVERY hunter and butcher you will meet will have their own method. Here's ONE way to do it, for right after the carcass has been bled dry and skinned;
It is helpful to hang the carcass by the legs, but not required. Especially for a large animal like a hare, this will make gravity your friend in getting the organs out. Clan cats have access to plenty of twine for this; brambles, willowbark, flax, etc.
Cut a "circle" around the anus first, under the tail. You want to keep the whole tract in one piece. If the intestines rupture, it might contaminate the rest of the ENTIRE carcass. This part you cut now will be the back end of the "tube" you're going to pull out.
From the bottom of the "circle," slit carefully down the belly until you hit the bone in the middle of the ribcage. This is tricky. If you go too deep, you'll cut the guts and spill waste everywhere. Don't go deep enough and you won't even get through the membrane. A good mentor would guide their apprentice's paw at this point, showing them how to carefully hook one layer deeper each time and how to angle the claw so they don't cut deeper than they mean to. (NOTE: the sternum is a lot shorter in most four-legged animals than it is in a human. The warrior's cut will be much further down the "chest" of the prey than you think.)
Now, the guts need to be cut from the back of the cavity. This is MESSY, but not tricky. This is the part where an impatient warrior would mess up, start yanking, and puncture the gut. If the animal is hanging, this is MUCH easier as the anus is still "anchored" to the pelvis like a big noodle.
Lastly, reach down and pull the throat up, then and take the whole tract out in one piece! In a very "large" animal like a muntjac or a hare, a more advanced Clan might tie off the colon with string before pulling it out, to avoid making a mess.
That's it! You now have the entire GI tract of an animal, including esophagus, stomach, large intestine, small intestine, and all the extra species-specific organs (like tripe or gizzards) they contain. An experienced butcher can do this whole process in less than a minute on a smaller animal-- and the small intestine of a mouse alone is over a foot long for making into sausages!
(In Clanmew, this "tract" is called a gwussip. It basically means "pile of slightly processed food." It's also used to refer to the dough used to make tunnelbuns in WindClan, and the minced meat that will be used to stuff the sausages later.)
Various types of sausage are made from the stomach down. Haggis is one type of sausage, for example, traditionally made of a sheep's stomach. The esophagus doesn't have the same "stretchiness" that the intestines are known for, and is more often made into a mince and sauteed if it isn't just wasted by being tossed.
BB!ThunderClan in particular likes to let it slow cook in fat and fruit sauce until it's more tender, but still delightfully chewy. It's not enough to fill a warrior up, but it makes a good snack for in between mealtimes. If you're familiar with Mexican cuisine, pig esophagus is prepared as "buche."
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mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
But, digressing,
Now that you have your intestines, it needs to be turned into casing.
Step 2: Scrape the inner membrane
Intestines are full of fecal matter. We all know this. Especially if you collected it correctly, it's going to be full of unwanted liquid when you first pull it out. Thankfully, it's just a tube and it can be washed.
These organs are made to contain everything icky inside of the gut, protecting the rest of body with its specialized buffer layers; the meat itself is perfectly fine.
The first thing a warrior needs to do is run it through a clean stream of running water, just like rinsing out a reusable straw. They'd be taking care to rub every fold clean, like a raccoon washing stockings in a river. Depending on the species the organ comes from, the culture of the Clan, and the condition of the animal before it was killed, some intestines might smell worse and need to be washed for longer than others.
BB!ShadowClan is different from other Clans in that they will flush it with a mix of vinegar and water to clean intestines. Especially since so much of their territory is stillwater, they're extra concerned with making sure their offal is cleaned. Other Clans find vinegar repulsive. ShadowClan finds other Clans dirty. Other Clans point out that they're the ones that eat literally anything. ShadowClan says they'd be able to stop wasting food if they spent less time whining and more time food processing. Cultural friction ensues.
After it's flushed, the cleaned intestine is turned inside-out. Just like a sock. From there, the inner layer of membrane is scraped off.
A long, flat rock is the best tool for this, or a good bone scraper. I've also heard of people doing this with a knife, so the rock is actually still technically optional for even the most thumbless Clans... but the cats can weave ropes out of grass canonically. They can use a rock.
(meanwhile in the background the bb!cats are playing instruments around a fire, absolutely ignoring canon's inconsistent tech level)
This is what it looks line at each stage of this process. Totally raw intestine looks like the image on the left. When turned inside-out, it resembles the middle. After scraping, it looks like the right.
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Now there's just one more step before you officially have casing.
Step 3: Soaking in salt solution.
This is actually the hardest part for a Clan trying to be ecologically accurate. Salt is very rare in most forest environments. If your Clans are set up in a place with a natural salt source (near a beach, or near a geological deposit), you'll have no problems!
But... most Clans would, logically, not be so lucky and need to get creative.
The first option is stealing salt from farmers and hunters. Salt licks are usually left out in large, white blocks for sheep in fields, and deer in the woods. However, BB!Clan cats, except SkyClan, strongly avoid interacting with humans. That includes not approaching the salt licks left out for deer and livestock.
So, traditionally in the Forest Territory, they used the second option: Slowly burning the roots of coltsfoot. Dandelion also works, but will give you much less salt. In the Lake Territory, cats are sent on regular "Salt Patrols" to the ocean, bringing back bags of ocean salt from evaporated water for medicinal and culinary use.
Once that's done, simply toss the intestines in salt water for a few hours. That's it. You now have casing.
Step 4: Stuff the casing with mince.
Mince is just finely shredded meat, mixed with any spices your little kitty heart desires. Humans use a lot of herbal spices such as fennel, but as obligate carnivores, warriors prefer mushrooms which have compounds resembling the taste of meat.
The real secret to stuffing, though, is to make sure EVERYTHING is chilly before you do it. Cold mince is less sticky, keeps its shape better when being handled, and the fat is distributed more evenly in the mix. Sausages made during winter come out better than ones made during summer, for that reason.
Don't overstuff and try to keep it even. You can do it by paw, but it would be MUCH easier with a simple gadget. The earliest sausage stuffing tools we know of were as simple as a funnel and a plunger like this antique;
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But since Clan cats are stuffing little animals, they can work with much smaller natural materials. The bones of birds are naturally hollow-- just clean one out, get a stick to push the meat through, and you're making tiny sausages.
And the last, but most important part,
Step 5: Dry it by way of heat and smoke (sausage) or fermentation and air drying (salami).
What you have in your paws before you start this process is, essentially, a little bag of raw meat. Most food preservation can be understood as the simple act of drying. Salt, fire, smoking, wind exposure-- those are all just fancy ways of removing moisture from food.
So generally, the more moisture the technique removes, the longer it will last.
"Fresh" sausages, your bratwurst, cheap hot dogs, bangers, the ones that are JUST made of mince and casing and you're not planning on doing anything else, those get cooked and eaten immediately. These types are actually pretty "recent" historically speaking, because it was a luxury to not be making sausages to store and transport meat.
So to make it last, they will usually be "cured." That means that the mince was mixed with salt before stuffing. Simple as that. Smoked cured sausage is self explanatory once you know what the terms mean-- it's been cured with salt, and then put in a smokehouse to dry.
(side note: curing is also required for smoking, else the conditions inside the sausage become the perfect breeding ground for botulism)
But the thing you're really waiting to hear about is "dry sausage." NO refrigeration required, NO fire needed at any point in the process. Salami specifically is cured, fermented in a dark and humid place, and then air-dried. This process takes only a few days if it's hot, and up to a week if it's cold. There are often starter cultures and sugars (fruits) added to the mince which reduces the "failure" rate, but this can work completely on its own.
Its taste will also vary depending on the cultures of bacteria doing the fermenting-- but that's unironically the kind of thing beyond the scope of this. That's culinary science.
This is where a dedicated "den" for hanging fermenting sausage would be handy. You can make do with a cave, but being able to completely control the environment can be the difference between having food in two days, versus having food in a week. You can even store it while it's fermenting for months if you can control the environment perfectly.
The last step is simply to take it out when it's at the absolutely perfect conditions and stop fermentation. If it ferments ALL the way, it will taste so sour it's inedible.
And that's it.
It's that simple. You hung it up in a cave for a while, and now you have shelf-stable meat that doesn't need to be refrigerated.
The catch; this works best in hotter, sunnier, southern environments, where the post-fermentation process is finished off with air drying. Drying is VERY GOOD because it totally removes the moisture. BB!Clans, in Northwestern England, prefer to finish this off with smoking unless they're doing it in summer and the weather cooperates.
Air drying is better because it typically removes more moisture and makes the sausage hard. Finishing fermentation with smoking causes it to be "semi-dry."
This far north, the days are cloudier, darker, and colder than it is further south, where the most famous dry sausages are made. It's not impossible to make fully dried sausage here, but it's a LOT more precise of an art.
If your Clans are based in the USA, don't worry about that. Dry fermentation is possible everywhere there except Alaska. Even if they're at the very tippy-top north of the continguous 48 states, they are barely higher in latitude than Paris, France. To put what BB's environment is in context, remember that you could walk a straight line across the globe from Liverpool, UK and be somewhere near Edmonton, Canada.
(in fact, dry fermentation can be done easily anywhere it isn't too dry or too cold. RIP Southern Chilean fanclans you will simply have to smoke it just like the Brits.)
And that's sausage. That is an in-depth guide to how salami can be made by Clan cats.
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The UN's Official Mission report on Hamas' Sexual Violence in Israel was published
Please take your time to read this. Israeli \ Jewish victims deserve the same protection as any other women.
The brief version can be read here.
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***I am not going to include any graphic detailing.
The pattern of Sexual Violence used by Hamas is very clear:
It was one of their key goals and tactics on October 7th.
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You cannot say "Female Hostages are treated well. you're lying by saying they're raped" anymore!
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Notice how they also said **Children**
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Civilians were in fact burned inside their homes
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This is also clearly a pattern used by Hamas, as this is just one of many examples they detail. -Hamas has also burned soldiers alive in their dorms and offices. That is also further detailed in the report.
This is not fake or propaganda
I can't believe I have to write this but this report is an official report (finally) made by the UN's Sexual Violence Office, as part of their yearly report.
They had a 2-week delegation that toured the actual Kibbutzim (turned crime scenes), interviewed eyewitnesses, spoke to families of victims, etc...
___
I do have to say I was mistaken in my earlier post, besides their conclusion, they have also written their recommendations:
...." V. Conclusions
Overall, based on the totality of information gathered from multiple and independent sources at the different locations, there are reasonable grounds to believe that conflict-related sexual violence occurred at several locations across the Gaza periphery, including in the form of rape and gang rape, during the 7 October 2023 attacks. Credible circumstantial information, which may be indicative of some forms of sexual violence, including genital mutilation, sexualized torture, or cruel, inhuman and degrading treatment, was also gathered. 22
With regards to the hostages, the mission team found clear and convincing information that some hostages taken to Gaza have been subjected to various forms of conflict-related sexual violence and has reasonable grounds to believe that such violence may be ongoing.
The mission team was unable to establish the prevalence of sexual violence and concludes that the overall magnitude, scope, and specific attribution of these violations would require a fully-fledged investigation. A comprehensive investigation would enable the information base to be expanded in locations which the mission team was not able to visit and to build the required trust with survivors/victims of conflict-related sexual violence who may be reluctant to come forward at this point.
Regarding the occupied Palestinian Territory, while its scope did not extend to verification, the mission team received information from institutional and civil society sources as well as through direct interviews, about some forms of sexual violence against Palestinian men and women in detention settings, during house raids and at checkpoints. Though the mission team did not visit Gaza, the Office of the SRSG-SVC will continue to monitor the situation for any relevant allegations of CRSV in the context of the ongoing hostilities. The relevant UN entities present in the occupied Palestinian Territory will provide UN-verified information for reporting to the Security Council on allegations of CRSV, which will be complemented by the information obtained by the mission team.
VI. Recommendations
The mission team makes the following recommendations: a) Continue to encourage the Government of Israeli to grant, without further delay, access to the Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights and the Independent International Commission of Inquiry on the occupied Palestinian Territory, including East Jerusalem and Israel, to carry-out fully-fledged investigations into all alleged violations that would deepen the preliminary findings contained in the present report. b) Urge Hamas and other armed groups to immediately and unconditionally release all individuals held in captivity and to ensure their protection including from sexual violence, in line with international law. c) Call on all relevant and competent bodies, national and international, to bring all perpetrators, regardless of rank or affiliation, to justice based on individual, superior and command responsibility, in accordance with due process of law and fair trial standards. d) Encourage the Government of Israel to consider signing a Framework of Cooperation with the Office of the SRSG-SVC to strengthen capacity on justice and accountability for CRSV crimes as well as security sector engagement, training, and oversight to prevent and address CRSV. 23 e) Strengthen the capacity of the United Nations to monitor and report on incidents, patterns and trends of CRSV in both Israel and the occupied Palestinian Territory through the establishment of the Monitoring, Analysis and Reporting Arrangements on CRSV (MARA), convened by dedicated technical specialists, namely Women’s Protection Advisors (WPAs), deployed to the region to ensure prevention, protection and coordinated multi-sectoral assistance to survivors/victims. f) Encourage relevant actors to uphold information integrity and ethical, trauma-informed representations of conflict-related sexual violence, including by respecting and safeguarding the dignity and identity of survivors/victims and witnesses of sexual violence, as sensationalizing headlines, media pressure and scrutiny, exposure of identity, political instrumentalization and pressure, and/or fear of reprisal can result in the suppression, silencing and discrediting of survivors/victims and witnesses, further compound trauma and increase the risk of social stigmatization. g) Urge all parties to the conflict to adopt a humanitarian ceasefire, and to ensure that expertise on addressing conflict-related sexual violence informs the design and implementation of all ceasefire and political agreements and that the voices of women and affected communities are heard in all conflict resolution and peacebuilding processes....."
Israelis have been repeatedly saying all of this for months now, while you deny it. I've personally had people tell me it's all "fake propaganda". You should all be ashamed.
I am infuriated at the fact that for 5 months, our evidence and word isn't enough for Anti-Zionists. Here is some undeniable proof for you.
Believe Jewish Women.
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nostalgebraist · 1 year
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Frank @nostalgebraist-autoresponder will permanently halt operation at 9 PM PST this Wednesday (May 31, 2023).
For context on why, see this post.
(tl;dr this project been a labor of love for me for years, it takes a ton of continual effort, and my heart's not in it anymore.)
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The blog itself will stay up indefinitely, it just won't make any new posts or accept asks.
Most of the code, models, etc. are freely available right now. Insofar as they are now, they will continue to be. The change on May 31 is unrelated to this stuff.
I've made various interactive demos of these components over the years, and the demos will likely still work after the bot stops. But I won't do any tech support or maintenance on them, and I would actively recommend against using these as a way to "get Frank back."
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I want to emphasize the following:
The best way for you to "send Frank off" over the next few weeks is to talk to her just like usual.
(And not too often, because she can only make 250 posts a day.)
This is true for a number of reasons, and can be viewed from a number of different angles:
(1)
While it can be fun to anthropomorphize Frank, she is structured very differently from a person, or even an animal.
She does not remember anything, even between two asks made on the same day. Every moment is a new one, with no relation to any other.
If you say "goodbye" or "you're going to be shut off" to her on May 30 2023, it's just as though you had said the same thing to her on some random day last year. She can't tell the difference.
She doesn't know these things are true or relevant now, and she can't possibly know in the way a human would. She's hearing the words for the first time, every time, and reacting in accordance with that.
Think of it like interacting with a baby, or someone with dementia. Every moment stands alone. If you strike a sad tone, they don't appreciate that it's about something. They just know that there is a sad tone, in the current experiential moment.
(2)
Frank mostly operates on a first-come, first-serve basis. She can only make 250 posts a day. There is a limited amount of time left.
Be conscientious about the way you're using up "slots" in this limited array of remaining Frank posts. Don't hog the ride.
(3)
I'm shutting down this bot in part because it's been a long-term, low-grade source of stress to me. I'd like the last weeks of the bot to be as low-stress as they can be.
When Frank gets an unusually large, or just unusual, form of user input over a period of time, I usually have to step in and do something in response.
(if there's way more input than usual and I don't do anything special, Frank will fill up most of her post limit quota before I even wake up, and then the asks will pile up further and further over the rest of the day.)
Maybe I have to delete a bunch of asks. Maybe I have to deploy some temporary change to her mood parameters to prevent the mood from getting too high or low and not coming back to baseline. Maybe I have to turn on "userlist mode," which still involves a cumbersome manual procedure.
Or, maybe I just have to do a lot more content moderation than usual.
"Usual," here, means reviewing and (mostly) approving something like 20 different hypothetical Frank posts per day, every day. If I go do something fun, and let myself forget about this task completely for 6 or 8 hours, there's a backlog waiting for me afterwards. During busy times, there's even more of this.
Just, like, help me chill out a bit, okay? Thanks.
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veilkeeper · 10 months
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thoughts on the astarion-halsin polymance
i know some people dont like the halsin polymance specifically if the PC's other partner is astarion but. i want to talk about it. because i think maybe a lot of people have come to conclusions without seeing the scenes in question for themselves. so let me give a different perspective.
disclaimers: *i know a lot of people ship/hc this polymance as a triad, but for the purposes of this post i'm talking specifically about the "hinge" dynamic we see in-game thx. **also i got the halsin romance trigger before completing astarion's personal quest, so this post is talking about that perspective, and all quotes are from those conversations. ***i respect people who dont play this route. you're allowed to play this game however you want. the purpose of this post is to discuss the canon, in-game text and how it supports the astarion-halsin polymance as a viable and healthy path for these relationships, with nuance and respect to astarion's personal issues. this is not meant to convert anyone, but it is meant to clarify and provide additional context that i feel is largely missing from a lot of discussions about how the polymance is "bad", unilaterally.
let's start with halsin, because i think he's the easier perspective to tease out here, given that he really leaves nothing to the imagination. he's incredibly earnest and open, and will happily describe his perspective on non-monogamy right out the gate. as he says...
The wolf mates for life, but the bear roams free and partners as its instinct dictates. I need to stay true to my nature, and you to yours.
now, to get ahead of potential backlash here... if you haven't spent a lot of time with halsin, particularly if you've never flirted with him, that line may imply that he's a "player". he is not. given the context of the PCs interactions with him up to this point (and how he treats the relationship after, if you confirm the romance), halsin is deeply devoted, and has really strong feelings for the PC. it's really sweet, i highly recommend romancing him, either as a polymance or solo.
what he's describing here is a perspective of cultural non-monogamy. that he believes his feelings are not diminished by having multiple relationships at the same time, and he expects that if the PC agrees to a relationship with him that they will respect his freedom to pursue others when/if such feelings arise, just as he will respect the PC's freedom to continue and/or pursue other relationships as well. it's a really succinct and frankly unexpectedly respectful negotiation of the terms of a polyam relationship.
and that respect is evident from the get go. if you've never seen this conversation, it basically opens with him saying "hey, i have these feelings about you, i was wondering if you maybe felt the same," and if the PC says that they do, he immediately acknowledges the existing relationship and tells the PC that they can't move forward without consent. and you cant; speaking to halsin again just has him ask the PC if they've spoken to their other partner yet. at every turn, halsin is incredibly respectful of the PCs other partner, he never diminishes that relationship, nor does he expect the PC to ever place him above that relationship. he even says:
Indeed, I am but one of your lovers. You and I should seek happiness, wherever it lies. You are all I want, but I will not hoard you to myself.
he makes it very clear from the get-go that he has no designs on the PC's other relationship and that he is more than happy to take whatever they want to give him.
which leads me to my overarching point: astarion is consenting to this dynamic specifically because the other person in question is halsin.
and we know this for a few reasons. first, because.... mechanically in game, he's the only person you can romance at the same time as astarion. while astarion mentions at various points that he is fine with "arrangements", generally speaking, every other potential romance partner results in a "you have to choose one of us" conversation. the reason astarion gives for why the PC has to choose varies, i believe, but since i don't have the dialogue on hand (i have been faithful as hell in my playthrough) i won't speculate about those conversations.
however, we also know that astarion is consenting to an arrangement with halsin specifically because of this line:
The druid is unique. He has a lot of experience with this type of arrangement. Thus, I'm sure it would be quite a harmless affair.
which is interesting, isn't it? hold onto this one, we'll circle back to it later. and then of course, the other line we need to discuss from astarion here is the famously controversial...
It's not because… you know… we haven't… in a while?
so this is where i get into the potentially controversial take that i have, because it's more nuanced than arguments i've seen on either side of the pro-/anti- polymance debate. but basically i think that astarion is... insecure. shocker, i know. but unlike some takes i've seen, i dont think this means he can't consent to a polyam relationship, i think it means that he has certain Conditions related to it, that he has decided have been met. and i think those conditions are as follows:
the PC's interest in halsin is not borne out of any deficiency of astarion's.
this is why he asks the famous question. he's insecure, and making sure that the PC's interest in halsin is not because astarion is failing to "satisfy" them, that it's not because he isn't enough. astarion has a lot of self-worth issues that he tries really hard to hide, and i think it would be easy for him to think that the PC starting another relationship could be a result of him being... insufficient.
for people who have never been in a polyam relationship, this is a thing. this is an important thing, and making sure all of your partners feel that they're valued and "enough" is an important part of navigating these relationships. astarion does the right thing here, by expressing his insecurity and asking for reassurance. and when the PC gives it to him, the relief is evident and he gives consent to the dynamic immediately. not because he's been coerced, but because he's been reassured.
PC: Gods, I don't want you to think that for a moment. Astarion: I know I was being foolish. But thank you for saying it.
the second condition is:
that he is still a priority
this is pretty self explanatory but since it's sort of the clincher for my whole argument here, i do have to say the quiet part out loud. i dont think what astarion wants or needs is to be the PC's only partner. he talks about "arrangements" on multiple occasions, i dont think he has a problem with sharing. what i do think he wants is to be the PC's primary partner. what he's consenting to, in my view, is hierarchical polyamory, to use the proper term. as in, the PC can fool around with whoever they want, even have feelings for other people, so long as they always come back to astarion. he needs to feel like he is secure and valued above others as he values them above others. he needs to feel like the PC isn't going anywhere.
and that's why he consents to an arrangement with halsin, but no one else. because all of the other romance options, the origin companions, would want to be equal with astarion, they would want non-hierarchical polyamory. halsin, on the other hand, is all about taking what can be given and having a more fluid understanding of relationships. he doesn't care if he's #1, he cares that the PC cares about him, right now. no formal definitions or obligations required.
that's what astarion means when he says "the druid is unique." that's what he means when he says "he has a lot of experience with this type of arrangement." that's what he means when he says it will be a "harmless affair." because he knows halsin is never going to try to take the PC away from him. he knows halsin isn't going to be a threat to him and his status with his partner. and that's why he's comfortable saying yes, even though he says no to every other possible arrangement.
it's not because he was coerced. it's not because he doesn't know how to say no. it's because he feels safe. and that's what we want.
some additional notes while i'm here...
on jealousy: a lot of people hc astarion as the jealous type, as perhaps a little possessive, and i am also one of those people. it makes sense; he's a guy who hasn't had anything in 200 years, and the PC is the first person he's cared about like this. i can definitely see him being a little possessive and prone to jealousy. but stepping outside of the realm of fiction, jealous/possessive feelings are often the result of insecurity and in real relationships should absolutely not be used as a tool to control the behaviour of another partner. and, crucially, jealous/possessive feelings are a thing to be talked about and worked through, not tip-toed around. the presence of those feelings does not automatically mean that a polyamorous relationship is impossible, it just means there's another thing to talk about, and by astarion consenting to the PC having another relationship, he's pretty clearly saying he's willing to talk through those feelings and work on them.
on the ability to consent: i know that astarion doesn't talk about his feelings enough. but i truly dont think that this is a case of astarion saying yes when he means no. astarion can say no, even in high pressure situations he wasn't expecting. he says no to the astral-touched tadpole (rather firmly, i might add), he says no to sleeping with the drow twins, etc. the scene that most people use as proof that astarion cannot consent happens in a much different emotional context, with a lot of direct coercion, and is followed by astarion taking back personal control and dumping the PC. that is not what happens in this scene, when astarion is consenting to a polyamorous relationship. there is no coercion (in fact the PC can explicitly say "i wouldn't even consider it if it bothered you", and astarion expected the conversation, so he would have been able to prepare his thoughts and feelings ahead of time. at no point does he say no or even imply he's not okay with an arrangement with halsin.
on timing: ive seen some people say that they would be more okay with the astarion-halsin polymance if all of this was not be happening right now. i agree with that. ideally, astarion would have more time to adjust to his relationship before it was opened up at all. but because this is a video game, everything is happening during the events of the game. and because this is a video game, the events of the game are high pressure and wild and everything is happening all at once. i don't blame people who elongate the timeline in fan content, or who turn down halsin because they think its "too soon." thats actually very explicitly something halsin says when he initially propositions the player - that he hopes it isn't "too soon." however, astarion still consents (see point above), and relationships barely ever have good timing. one could argue that even the solomance with astarion does not have good timing, when considering astarion's trauma and recovery. so. we make do. and i think it would be... a disservice? to what is (in my opinion) really good polyam writing to just say "actually it's all terrible and icky because there's a lot going on right now" and dismiss it out of hand.
.......................and i think that's everything. thank you for joining me on this very long (oops) deep dive into this. a double thank you for reading all the way through if you don't like the astarion-halsin polymance. i hope i gave you a different perspective, even if i didn't change your mind. love ya <3
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moonbeammist · 24 days
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The Peasant's Secret (Part 2)
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Dune characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them. taglist from Part 1: @aoi-targaryen
I don't give permission for any of my fanfiction to be posted, this is also cross posted on my account w/ Archive of our own :)
PAIRINGS: Feyd Rautha x Fem!Fighter!Reader
AUTHORS NOTE: Hey! l'm excited that I continued this. Honestly, couldn't get it out of my head until I did. I really hope you enjoy it, feedback is most welcome. New readers, read Part 1 for context and character, if not, this can be read as a solo fic too 💖
WARNINGS: (Adults only 18+) DARK! profanity, extreme violence, torture, gore, sadism, masochism, dubious consent, erotic undertones, heavy petting, reader is a fighter who get's extremly hurt, bigotry against the poor, very immersive, intimacy, touching, feyd-rautha is his sick self, public humiliation, light smut
Feyd is at his most sadistic - please mind the warnings. I really wanted to explore that in writing because I feel it's such a big part of his character. Honestly Dune Part Two inspired the hell out of me, and looks like I'm not the only one judging by some of the brilliant writers on this site. Thank you for inspiring me too.. I poured everything into this.
SUMMARY: “You did, Harkonnen.” You agree solemnly. “But what does it matter? Don’t you treat every untrained, unprecedented fighter the same here?” you pause, seeing his deep blue eyes flicker with interest. “Unskilled fodder to fuel your own ego?”
WORD COUNT: 10.3k words (yes it's long, but enjoy the ride, take breaks, ect.) ❤️
PART 1 PART 2
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It’s scalding, the black ebb of the sun in Giedi Prime. But you are well hydrated and fed.
Previously, when you were aboard the ship with Count Fenring in the depths of space, he made sure you and the small group of rice labourers that stayed behind were treated. Various platters of eclectic fruits, aged cheeses, proteins, and beverages were presented before you on a wooden table, the Count encouraging the hesitant Caladan rice cultivators with a wave of his hand. Almost in unison, they dived for the food at his proclamation, knives and forks clashing. You couldn’t tell what animal you were gnawing on as you slobbered it down, only fixated on filling the hole of anxiety that grew, every so slowly, deep in your belly. You volunteered to be here on the basis of... being Harkonnen entertainment, mixed with a blind, selfish jump into the illogical.
And for what?
So you don’t deserve to feel this uncertainty. You did it to your damn self. Wanting to prove... something, anything. What that was exactly you couldn’t pinpoint, except a growing need to see yourself capable of a different path than the comfortable life you grew to know. Your mother’s words came to you again, flying through the vastness of the galaxy.
“You should go.” A pause. “Live for us.”
Her words spread through you like a viper, a sliver of hope returning to you.
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You’re covered by the dark canopy of the nestled burrow underneath the stands of the large dome-like arena, filled to the brim with Harkonnen porcelain heads. You can see a partial view from here—a small peek, but enough for multiple stark heads to pop through. The hard, black metal doors were closed all the way, save for that small crack. Their starving, needy chants are ear splitting to you; you can hear them all around you in these walls beside your fellow fighters. Here you are, like a feast for them—ripe, hot-blooded, and ready for the taking. 
You keep your hair cropped short just under your cheekbones for battle, falling messily over your face in a choppy cut. The length made sense under these circumstances.
Last night, after filling yourself with food and beverage and thanking the Count on the ship, you pushed your way past the other passengers to the ship’s restrooms with slight impatience, a mulled over idea that has been eating at you finally coming to the forefront. Seeing your hollow, adrenalized eyes in the mirror, your hand reached to your thigh, brandishing the emerald handle of the small blade you were given as a courtesy. Unlatching it from its leather harness with a click, your arm juts out to swipe your tresses away, the ends falling like a blanket on the floor. You did not need to make yourself a target on the hairless planet, that is for certain. Not like this, not so obviously. 
They can already see what you are, you know.
Your conscious crows at you, and your teeth come out to play with your bottom lip, chewing it. That’s not why. When you were shoving food down at the table with your fellow people during mealtime, you received a more in-depth, private discussion about Giedi Prime and House Harkonnen’s culture and traditions, along with a long spiel on the opponent you and your fellow peasant fighters would be privy to facing. 
The Count’s voice was almost a warning to all, and you could’ve sworn his eyes rested on you too many times for it to be a coincidence. Obviously, being the opposite sex in the Harkonnen arena is going to come with a target on your back. In Giedi Prime, usually, they had a target on your back no matter what, but they usually fell into four prime categories: pleasure slave, handmaiden, visiting Bene Gesserit, or noblewomen. And obviously, they’re going to make out by your form, that you’re not a big, burly slave-gladiator. But some type of amateur, dodging, slave-gladiator nonetheless.
The issue is that you don’t want the nephew, that psychopathic nephew of the Baron—Feyd-fucking-rautha grabbing a long mop of hair and whipping it around the arena like a toy, a rag doll. And you don’t want something as silly as hair being used as fodder against you, like a joke. You had gathered the length of hair in the disposable bin, cleaning up the mess on the marbled floor in finality.
You glance up to catch yourself in the mirror, and your pulse quickens. You run your fingers through your short locks, the pieces framing your face. You feel renewed, refreshed.
You feel more like yourself than ever before.
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The guttural melody seemed to increase in speed across the walls underneath the arena, bouncing off the ground. You could feel the voices, deep in the earth, the soles of your feet vibrating against your boot. You peered into the backs of the heads of your crew. You knew that your time was getting closer. Uneasiness, but also a slight giddiness that shouldn’t belong, bubbled up within you. 
Why?
The small group of men that you came with from Caladan were also branding themselves as inexperienced rice labourers. As men, it was common for them to get in spats or tussles about gods-knows-what. They had experience in that sense. For the fairer sex, all you had was your mother’s encouragement to take an interest in the art of dodging, the defensive battle strategy known as "The Peasant’s Secret." There weren't many ladies, as far as you could tell, who were following suit. They had more important things to register, like feeding their children, you mused. The peasant men were taught it too, as they weren’t permitted weapons, armour, and the like. But it didn’t seem like they held it in high regard as often as you did. They practiced being on the offensive with their knuckles for light fun, with a masculated zeal. You questioned why they were here, as it would seem they dared not want anything else than an honest day’s work, being able to daze upon the fields with a wife warming their bed. But you wondered if the few that came grew bored of their mundane life and little free time, and were willing to put themselves on the line of fire today like you. 
Stupid, silly peasants you all were. Couldn’t just be happy with what was given to you. Couldn’t just lay your head down on rice grain forever. 
Just wanted a small hit of dopamine to the psyche, it would seem.
Without notice, a speaker made himself known above you—and it must have been from the very top, the very perch of the arena. The Baron of House Harkonnen’s rough voice pummelling into the pits below. “Citizens of Giedi Prime, and most welcome visitors,” he began. “We have quite the show for you today, most definitely... Count Hasimir Fenring has brought with him mere-" he pauses to chuckle as it reverberates through your mind, and you make a note of his happiness. It already confirmed what you knew to be true.
He continues. “Rice harvesters from Caladan who would like to join in on today’s festivities. Mind you, they volunteered their time here as well, so we shall see what they have to offer.”
A more ominous-sounding laugh is heard.
“How exciting, dear nephew, for you to enjoy this treat. Some low-born entertainment as a warm-up. We shall commence shortly.”
The audience chanted their sick appreciation at this news, their cheers echoing across the skies.
You gulped your saliva down. A warm-up, yes, of course. That makes sense.
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It’s here. You’re here. Pacing, jumping up and down, in your murky, brown cloth. Amping yourself up.
Tight, tattered dark brown shorts adorned your knees, with strings tying the garment in place at your hips. To counter that, a long, light brown quarter-sleeve tunic swamps your form, belted at the waist with a large buckle securing it. Under the belt, the bottom of it is cut into two sections, split right down the middle, revealing your shorts in a fashion with athleticism and movement in mind. It’s lightweight and loose, allowing your bindings and skin to breathe in the hot weather.
In just a moment, the doors to the arena pits would open, and you would face the deviant that awaits. But you would not be alone. At least in the beginning. 
You turn to glance beside you at the men accompanying you. The men stood beside, in front, and behind you, their large frames slightly swarming you. You briefly imagined them emerging into the arena like some low-born three-course meal for the Na-Baron. You wordlessly prayed that you would not be considered a part of the appetizer.
“Come,” a man you knew by the name of Rexen, threw his arms around your shoulders and jostled you out of your ponderings. His hair was a deep black, matching his unkempt brows and scraggly beard. His face was warm and friendly, and his stare was earnest. “Join us for a moment.”
You walk with him a mere two steps before he gently pushes your body forward, and your eyes take in the slight change of everyone’s chest now visible to you. Your home planet’s men’s faces rapt with attention on each other. They are now huddled in the formation of a small circle. Rexen leans forward, and you follow suit, huddling even closer into the group, shoulders touching.
A glow of comfort envelops you, a piece of home.
“We are not a skilled people,” Rexen graciously offers, his head dipping low as he mutters this. His eyebrows raise as he anchors his head against yours and the men surrounding. “Most of our people did not want to be here. But for those that remain, we need not concern ourselves with why we are here. Just that we’re here to put on a show, for the holier than thou fucks.” He grins at his quip, his teeth slightly yellow in colour, stained from poor hygiene. Laughter emits from his chest, and the men barrel with much-too-energetic laughter for the situation.
You feel bizarre. You definitely came with the... what would you call those with no regard for their own self-preservation? 
Lunatics? 
But chillingly, you find yourself chuckling along with them, joining them in their message. Joining their showmanship. You’re here after all. That makes you one of them. You grin ear-to-ear as you laugh along with the men.
Something breaks you out of your glorified stupor. You hear a muffled chant just outside the doors. A pause. They were speaking in syllables. 
“Feyd-Rauth-Ah!” Again. “Feyd-Rauth-Ah!” And again. “Feyd-Rauth-Ah!”
Before any of you have a chance to compose yourself, the doors behind you slowly split open, and you eye the entrance to the arena with a spike of endorphins settling like butterflies in your stomach.
It unfolds, unlatches, and stretches out.
Until you’re cast in a perfect halo of light, the bleak colour seemingly burns your eyes for a moment.
There. It’s adjusting.
Your eyes adjust to the toxic atmosphere once again. You now have a more personalized viewpoint of what is to come; your perspective now shows a closer point of view of the arena as you break away from your fellow fighters and shakily take one step forward to the substantial crowd. The energy in the crowd shifted considerably to a higher plane, and you can literally feel the noise cover you in a blanket of sound, and you’re vibrating. You don’t turn to pay attention to your peers as they slowly spill out of the doorway.
The guttural native tongue of the Harkonnen boomed through the air, the announcer’s voice telling a story with his words. It all became white noise next to your thrumming heart.
At the opposite end of the arena, it’s... him.
His bleached, ghostly white silhouette sauntered several yards away with a slow swagger. The distance dwarfs his form slightly. Black on black. Everything he’s wearing is black, jutting out from his body to clearly signify a plate of armour atop his chest, ribs, shoulders, and legs. A combat suit absolutely made for battle.
The good news was that his skull and neck, seemingly attached by his bulging shoulder plates, was exposed. The sight of his hands clutching two considerably large Crysknives on either side of him made you pause. His wrists jumbled up and down, playing with blades.
Moving in an angular motion, you make a beeline for a darker area along the arena wall. You now notice your companions are already scattered all over the arena, the restlessness in their scurried steps now known to the sole Harkonnen. You’re sure he can smell them from where he is, and you want to perhaps blend in with the wall for a bit while you plan your next move.
He hasn’t noticed you yet as he charges forward, the speed in his steps like lightning.
You quicken your pace to the side of him, against the wall, out of sight as he spots a single peasant man squaring up to challenge him.
Your gaze is transfixed on them as you continue to walk backwards to the wall.
Feyd-Rautha is closer now, towards the centre of the Arena. The way he moves is like a freight train, all at once, and not a single part of him is apologetic for it. Your friend, your... companion, who had his head pressed to you moments earlier, had you clenching your teeth in anticipation at his first swivel around Feyd-Rautha’s Crysknife. The man ducked, barely grazing Feyd-Rautha’s blade as it sliced through the air. You hear a deep, grovelling chuckle, the sound making you freeze. It’s alien.. It’s so, so deep.
He doesn’t even sound real.
You glance at him while side-stepping, grateful his attentions are on the burly man’s arms flying at him like a circular typhoon. The man was already so tired; he was slowing down.
Feyd-Rautha exhales, curving the Crysknife in an upward motion, pushing it to the hilt, the squish of the male being impaled hauntingly audible. “That’s the spot.”
Like a caricature of doom, the voice of the man had a guttural, raspy quality to it. So low but with an unusual lilt at the end of his words.
Feyd-Rautha grabs the man by his shoulders and flings his heaving body to the ground, removing his painted red Crysknife from the man’s gut.
He barrels onward, heading further away from you, his eyes lit aflame.
You cannot deny that you’re in shock at the raw energy, but you take several breaths to calm yourself down, reminding yourself you just haven't ever been in an arena before. This is how it goes. Randomly, your back collides with something warm as you're breathing in and out. 
Jostled, your breath hitches as you whip around at the feeling. 
A clicking sound speeds up at your collision, erupting from a black, horned... genetically modified something.
God knows what that is, but you knew by its circling movements it was there to service the arena as its handler, keeping a watchful eye. There seemed to be another one roaming where Feyd-Rautha was, to your far left.
You raise your hands up, hearing the clicking intensify in warning. “Apologies.” You nervously laugh, wondering if it even cared for your apologies at a time like this.
You hear yet another man falling to the ground behind you, your gaze darting to the sight of him rolling, trying to swerve the absolute onslaught of the animal standing above him.
All your planning and all your battle-tactic calculations were lost in the wind, it seemed. It didn’t matter anymore because you were so fucking nervous.
No, it’s okay.
A small voice inside you encouraged.
You need to utilize “The Peasant’s Secret” in front of this crowd of evil eggheads, even if it’s not perfect.
You feel cracked mentally to even be joking to yourself at a time like this, but the fleeting sentiment is all you need to feel better. It was time to give yourself some grace.
You glanced at the horned handler once more as it retreated, before facing the savagery you knew you needed to keep your eyes locked on... Rexen, the man who pulled you aside earlier, was moaning in agony, his eyes bloodshot. You felt a fluttering sensation in your stomach. Alone and gushing, flowing, a stream of blood spilled out from his sopping open wound into the arena pit.
You remember his joyous remark that he was going to put on a show as you watched the life drain from his face.
You feel a prickling sensation at the back of your neck, like something in the air has shifted.
A BANG snaps you out of your reverie.
Isolating the noise, you lock in on it. There, now dangerously close, a looming presence carefully studying you. Feyd-Rautha’s hard, deep stare. He was standing a few feet away from you on the right side of the arena wall, his leg kicking at the wall animatedly. 
BANG
He hit it again, and as he finished, his armour-clad legs seemed to click together. His pale face was plastered with a delighted expression that met the depths of depravity. As your gaze flickered over him, you noticed an open mouth, a row of black teeth, the shade of the darkest midnight, smiling in glee, seeming to be proud of his announcement.
“Just a few more of the rodents,” he sneered, his eyes gleaming with giddiness.
You hold your breath in fear, stopping all at once. You know making a move right now would be foolish at his proximity.
“Did you perceive yourself to be out of harm's way?” His rasp quipped. 
You consider him, swallowing a jump in your belly. Unnerved by his misplaced enthusiasm. 
You brace yourself, standing at attention, before lowering yourself into a bent stance. The choppy pieces of your short hair fall into your line of vision as your head dips to the ground, trying not to let his overbearing nature shake you.
He doesn’t seem to move from his place as his gaze flickers over your movements.
Those black teeth. You were strangely fascinated by the ghoulish sight of them.
You’ve heard rumours of it being akin to a status symbol, perhaps even a fashion statement in Harkonnen culture. A custom of extreme wealth, beauty, and high influence.
Aristocratic customs are among this absolute cruel and humiliating gore fest. The irony of that was enough to make you thankful for being low-born and poor, minding your business. For all that you represent, at least you weren’t delusional in your value.
“Na-Baron Feyd-Rautha,” You greet, nodding solemnly, bowing your head from your battle-ready stance. “A pleasure to meet you, my lord.” Perhaps paying your respects to him before the battle would lessen his aggressiveness, if only a little. If you didn’t mindlessly yell and charge at him without thought, like the others.
He cocks his ghostly bald head, black mouth agape, seemingly taking you in. You briefly wondered if he was flashing that blackened mouth at you like some sort of superiority complex.
“How curious,” he murmurs. “The peasant wishes to exchange kind words before I run them through my blade?” His eyes glitter with something primal.
His sick jab makes you scoff inwardly, but you ignore it.
“On the contrary,” you begin. “I’m merely doing the honourable thing. Are we not battlemates, despite where I come from?” I pause, letting the words settle. “Like those of higher status you have fought before?”
I taste the words on my tongue, knowing full well the act may be futile.
Feyd-Rautha’s black teeth open wide with jest. “Mmm, that is what it would seem...” He nods at you. “The honour suits you.” 
You pause, realizing that he was paying a compliment.
His eyes darken like decay at once. “But you are a plaything, peasant. A pathetic thing for me to slice open and drain.” He tuts and slowly strolls towards you. 
You can’t help the shock that appears in your face at his grotesque words.
“But don’t worry, maybe I'll go a little longer with you.” He emphasizes the last word, a dark promise. His voice was laced with subtle mockery.
He’s put some sort of magnetic spell on you as you stand there, dumbfounded. His face no longer looks friendly as he advances on you, a demonic expression gracing his features. 
Fuck.
You jump back, reeling. You’re already failing, and you’ve got to get away, away, away fast. 
You shake your head at yourself for letting more than a few moments of speaking pass between you two. That was indeed useless. If anything, it seemed to make him crazier.
He charges at you with ferocity and a face devoid of emotion. 
This time I will move.
You let your secret instinct envelop you naturally, closing your eyes.
Dodge. Bob. Weave.
Just in time, and he’s snarling. “Rah!”
His black teeth lurch towards you.
You suddenly swirl your body slightly to evade the attack, his Crysknife missing you by mere inches. You jump backwards, not by a lot.
“Run first.. If they are fast enough, begin your dance.”
Your mother's words about the steps of your teachings sneak into your senses. That’s going to come off cowardly to someone like him. Weak. You don’t care. He didn’t know the hidden ways of the ‘lesser’ people of Planet Caladen.
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You bolt, legs pumping with renewed investment in your life. The sand seems to give your boots just the right amount of grip to propel you. You don’t bear to look behind you, afraid of what you may see, but know he’s at least giving chase.
You zip by yet another man, his neck whipping to watch you run. He feels like another stranger among the men who died, like he’s already sealed his fate.
But you presumed. You did not give the man grace. Like you now give yourself.
The man is living now, unchained. In his most honest form.
You crank your head back momentarily as your feet are hitting the sand. You instantly regret it, your breath catching in your throat. Feyd-Rautha is hot on your heels; his snow-white face is terrifying. His nostrils are flared, and his deep blue irises are lit with enthusiastic vigour. Your eyes widened as his blackened mouth was clenched in malice.
There is still a sizeable gap between the two of you. In a sudden move, you see the flash of the man before, in a blur—he’s purposely throwing his body towards Feyd-Rautha—and Feyd is so intently fixated on you he can’t stop the audible grunt that escapes him when your fellow peasant barrels into him with the strength of a bull.
The movement is so out of place that you falter slightly, side-stepping mid-run, your eyes glued to the man who decided to make use of his body as an obstacle. They hit the ground with a hard slam, the sound cracking through the thick atmosphere of the planet.
What is seen before you resembles a dogpile—the man’s large body attempting to restrain Feyd-Rautha’s snarling form, the man’s back gyrating like a hunter holding down a rabid howling elk.
You softly gasp at the mere seconds that went by before Feyd’s blade ground upward deep into the man’s guts—you could hear the sound of insides sloshing, emitting a horrifying, piercing scream from the man. The lack of care was evident as the man was thrown to the side like common trash.
Feyd-Rautha sits up, crimson staining his face like a splatter of paint, his face contorting, mood soured.
You silently thank the man for his sacrifice. It dawned on you that he didn’t do that for himself, but for you. A way to slow down your enemy’s predatory chase. 
Thank you. Your deed today will not go unnoticed, my good man. I shall make a shrine in your honour when I’m through with this animal.
Your eyebrows draw together, and trepidation rings through you as you put a bandage on your reality, cushioning your frantic thoughts with comfort.
You make quick work to paddle your legs from side to side, transfixed on the Na-Baron’s body, using the horrific situation as leverage. You started to do slow, measured side-skips around the man, smart to not use all of your well-preserved energy right away. You couldn’t risk disabling yourself to be slow, but you could be at a good, neutral pace right now.
While he was down. Which wouldn’t be for long.
Feyd-Rautha exhaled hastily as his neck craned towards you. Something akin to a cool, unfazed demeanour washed over his previous frantic behaviour as he allowed himself to engage in a moment's respite. 
“Let’s see you now, you pompous little rodent. Your street-gutter ally was desperate to save you... Caladens, hm?”
The message was clear now.
You bit your tongue, not lowering yourself enough to respond brashly to his mean-spirited words. Oh, the man was loathsome. But you will engage him. It will allow you to learn more about him.
You already know enough. He’s a deviant, a sadist. What else do you need?
You need to concentrate. You won’t respond brashly, but you will plant seeds of doubt in his mind, if you can.
“Caladen has brought me many things, Harkonnen.” You begin, slightly slowing your skips around the arena as you speak. “It is a vessel of life that your planet seems to be drained of, quite frankly.”
His pupils expand at that.
“Harkonnen?” He stands then, rolling his neck, and you hear a pop as he adjusts his broad torso, his blackened mouth suddenly upturned in amusement as he studies you. “What happened to Na-Baron? Is it not to your taste anymore? Is it because I hurt your heart?” 
He motions towards the crowd of bodies littering the ground. “Did I hurt your gutter tribe?” His rough voice taunts like a menace, as his eyes sparkle with a sort of dark mischief as he laughs at that.
You swallow, biting back enragement.
“You did, Harkonnen.” You agree solemnly. “But what does it matter? Don’t you treat every untrained, unprecedented fighter the same here?” You pause, seeing his deep blue eyes flicker with interest. “Unskilled fodder to fuel your own ego?”
The air was tense, and his calculating eyes seemed to consume you during the silence. He cuts it then, with a breathy, deep cackle.
“Oh, so she has a mouth,” he sneers. He shocks you by darting towards you, his black armoured frame like a thick smog, coming to ingest you. 
He inches closer and closer, and you make the decision to roll out of the way, your body tumbling to the side of him.
“Smart, for street filth. It will be quite a shame when you’re crying under me as I bloody you that you’ll be fodder for my ego.” He mocks chillingly, his cruel words eliciting a spike of nerves within you, but you’re too focused on evading him to let it show. You see him use his Crysknives in short, brutal swifts as you roll quickly.
His Crysknife whips down, but it stabs the ground, Feyd-Rautha not accounting for your multiple movements of barrel-rolling.
He barks a laugh at that, and you hate the sound of it. He pulls out the Crysknife with a rough grunt, and you stumble to your feet.
You’re fast, and you can see that his eyes are trained on you, and he’s smiling. Oh god, that mouth of blackened tar is smiling.
Running away from him again felt more freeing this time, like you were in control. You knew that you could actually keep up with his antics. You were prepared this time around; you two were alone now. Your fellow peasants' bodies are disrespectfully littered at your feet, and it makes you angry.
“Why is she running?” He called, his guttural voice reaching you as you reached the end of the arena. He was talking to you in a strange way, like you were somewhere else, not present in front of him, like a mere object.
You ignored him, and you briefly remember your small blade, strapped under your brown shorts, the strappy harness hidden. You needed to tire him out. That’s your first mission. Tire him out to the point of exhaustion.
Although hesitantly, you knew he was fit and athletic. A powerful, driven force. How exactly you were going to do this remains a sight to be seen.
He growls and chases you like a huntsman, around and around and around. Every time he managed to get in proximity with those two sharp, deadly blades—
Your body moved, just out of reach—like a python. 
You feel pride flow through you when, half-way through another lap around the arena, Feyd-Rautha stops, catching his breath. You’ve managed to get the Harkonnen to audibly pant, and what’s more, he’s crouched over, hands on his knees.
So you decide to waste even more of his energy.
As you begin to run backwards, facing him, you cup your hands around your mouth, sucking in air as you prepare to yell. You call to him, drawing his attention to you.
“Tired, Feyd?” You drop the second half of his name, and it feels more personal.
He huffed, springing up in an instant at the sound of his name spoken so comfortably from your lips.
You couldn't bear to look at his mocking, ghoulish face transfixed on you from several feet away. It sent a deep wave of uncertainty and thrill through your very being.
His ebony mouth gaped at you. “Such gall, from someone who’s been fleeing this entire time. Is that what you came here to do?” 
You swallow hard. Mind reeling.
“I came here to—” you began.
Feyd-Rautha cut you off, an outpouring of snideness laced in his voice. “It matters not. How long do you think this is going to last you, peasant?” 
Your confidence is slightly faltered, but you speak without thought. “It lasted me this long...” and your voice trailed off.
He chuckled darkly. From this proximity, you can see his eyes swirling with a foreign emotion you couldn’t place.
Yes. Your body moved like a python until it didn’t.
He lunged at you, jumping with a prowess that was so quick you barely managed to get out of the way. But you did, feeling his blade slice through your tunic, your abdomen. You let out a hiss, and you’re jumping backwards, regaining your momentum, away from him, and you’re flying mid-air.
But he somehow matches your stride, leaping forward. He snatches the fabric of your shorts, using that to grip you as you are smashed into the battlegrounds by your leg.
The wind is knocked out of you as you land on your stomach, and a sound emits from you that you’ve never heard. Adrenaline flowing through you, you attempt to get up but the heel of his boot digs into your back, pushing you back down, your form collapsing and you sputter, breathing hard - You hear his body drop into the pits behind you, the dust flying into the air in front of you.
Feyd-Rautha pins his entire chest on the small of your back. The weight of the man has your mouth tasting the bitter, dry pallet of the sand. Your face prickles as the sharp grains sting your eyes, crushing your nose and mouth; the pain is excruciating. 
Fuck, if he doesn't get off me, he's going to break my nose.
You let out a feral cry as you tried to move underneath him. His arms hold you deeply into his chest, the plates of his armour digging into the ebbs of your spine.
In defence, you attempt to curl your body into a turtle stance, protecting your front, which is where you are most covered in bruises from your fall. You can feel him all around you, his chest heaving up and down. His breaths are deep and disgruntled; sometimes they don't sound human.
His heavy arms start to slowly pry your arms open from cocooning yourself. He could do anything he wants at this moment if you don’t get him off.
It's no doubt he's much bigger than you, and although you were countering him in speed a while ago, his masculine strength keeps a steady hold on you. 
You start to shake as you flex every bit of muscle you have, your body vibrating in tremors as he continues to pry your arms away from your body. You continue to try holding onto the fabrics of your tunic, still convusling as you fight his hands, trying to pry away your self-made cocoon.
In patience and in your countering movements. You find your strength in your resilience. You remind yourself that you feel powerful in that, at least.
I still have my grit.
"Tough," He jeers, and you’re aware of his chin now digging into the little nook of your left shoulder; you don't even have to look back to know he's grinning from ear to ear. His thick armoured legs tighten around your smaller frame.
In one quick movement, he wrenches your struggling arms, your nails digging into the wartorn fabric that covers your body. You are still holding on, but barely.
Your voice comes out in a passionate screech, ripping from your throat when he shoves your arms behind you so that your elbows are touching, his pale fingers clasped around them.
His muscled, battle-born thighs tighten around your hips.
You thrash against him. "No! NO!" Your scream falls out of you in a high hilt. The pain is searing, like your arms are going to pop out of their sockets. You didn’t want to protest this loudly to him of all people, but he’s forced you to. You’re at his mercy if he manages to dislocate them.
"Yes," he grunts, and you don’t know if he’s responding to you or himself. "Who knew these little arms could hold such force?" The questioning lilt in his rasp went up several levels.
Since your elbows are in his grasp, he has your torso tilted towards the sky of the arena, the black sun baking into your tanned Caladian skin. 
You hear the deep chanting of the crowd, pulsing through you like a hymn. A smear of colourless shapes moving up and down. All you see is white spreading into your eyelids—your vision is pure, crystal white. Your head lulls back as it rolls back onto his wide shoulder.
And what he utters next is truly alien.
"Let me see those eyes, Caladian." Feyd-Rautha croaked. It was a gruff, choked sentence, like it slipped out of him by accident.
What?
A weird feeling settles in the pit of your stomach, flip-flopping at his words.
For fuck sakes, the sick fuck is getting turned on by this. Harkonnens..
A silent weight hangs in the air. And for a moment you both don't move.
A flood of emotions wells in you, like an electric charge.
Albeit in pain, you take advantage of the changed atmosphere.
Your knees are trapped, stuck together like a sweaty mass between his thighs. Your head that was stagnantly leaning on Feyd-Rautha's shoulder now aggressively dips down and slams up into his face, head-butting him and taking him slightly off guard.
Feyd makes an animalistic noise, and something changes in his face.
He smashes your skull into the sand, and you desperately claw at the air, gyrating your body like a sandworm. The impact stuns you, and your vision runs fuzzy. Your brain feels like it's splitting. You see green, blue and pink hues. Strong hands are felt touching you, shaking you out of your reverie.
With feverish disgust, you realize that the Na-Baron is kneeling at your back, hovering over your form.
You feel his palm pat. Once. Twice. Thrice. On your mid-back. He rubs your heaving back in a mock-soothing gesture as you gasp inwardly, sucking in the polluted Geidi Prime air like it was your last time breathing, feeling the air barely satisfy you, feeling like you didn't have enough.
"That has to hurt," he purrs. His hand is warm on your back, rubbing. Your eyes widen with horror.
You cough, hacking now. Taking long, deep breaths. If you could just...
He continues rubbing, and you're glued to the ground.
Your chest betrays you and continues to huff and puff audibly, he must hear everything. It’s screechy, your lungs are burning. His hand movements somehow relax you, which may be considerably fucked up. He hums, satisfied, deep in his chest, the sound making you stare at the ground in confusion.
He stills his caring hand on your heaving back and glides it to the base of your neck, plunging your head into the sand, again and again, not giving you any leniency now.
Well, that didn’t last long.
Your head is concussed, sending short, stabbing pains like a tidal wave to your brain.
You flail wildly, kicking back and upwards, your shoes colliding with his body.
He scoops your short locks in one fluid motion, your scalp searing at the sensation. He removes the grip on your hair to fully cradle your face, whipping you around to face him. Your body is limp, nearly falling to the ground, save for your face firmly held in place by Feyd-Rautha.
"Up we go, no sleeping now." he remarks darkly as his gaze settles on you.
Your throat is bone dry, your lips so swollen and puffy from the gushing blood flowing out of your nose. It's definitely broken this time. But you're numbing out now, slowly, and every so often you see those beautiful, vibrant colours again, shimmering despite the bleached atmosphere. It's such a miraculous sight that it makes you smile dumbly... you're finally happy.
A stinging SMACK knocks your face to the side, and you falter in his grip, eyes widening.
Your shock quickly transforms to frustration as hot, angry tears spill from your eyes.
"Fuck you!" And you violently shove your thumbs into his eye sockets, filled with rage. You dig in with all your might.
Your intrusion makes him stumble, and you both messily fall over. Your body falls into his broad chest, the armour knocking against your worn clothes. By now, the rags have slits all along it, from your near misses with Feyd's blade.
You knock him over onto his back so that you're straddling him, your hands sinking into his eye sockets.
His eyes are fucking gleaming now with delight.
"Yes. Take my vision. End me now." He heartily begs, and his mocking face is seemingly drinking you in, in admiration, despite your thumbs digging into eyes. It’s like he can see past them, and you shiver involuntarily.
His hands and Crysknives lay at his sides, in a strange display of submission. You can see the black teeth behind his lips, widened with glee.
His enthusiasm under these circumstances made you pay far too much attention to his face and miss his ulterior motives.
As you’re about to increase the pressure even more, a Crysknife appears in your vision, like a figment of your imagination—before it’s buried to the hilt in your upper thigh.
You cry out, shrieking, throwing your head back in agony.
The sudden onslaught makes you fall backwards in pain. His blade is still buried to the hilt, tendons throbbing. Only the handle is sticking out, like a thorn in your tendons.
Pulling the blade out right now would be a risk to cause further damage to your blood vessels and nerves. This would lead to rapid blood loss. You couldn’t do that right now.
Immediately, you move. You start to drag yourself—by instinct, fight-or-flight, you don’t know. 
You grit your teeth as you manage to find the strength to reach inside your thigh for your hidden blade, letting your hand grasp on the emerald green handle, pretending to cradle your injured thigh.
You keep it there as you continue to drag yourself.
"You've impressed me a great deal," Feyd-Rautha rasps. The unusual deep raspy tone reverberates through your eardrums somewhere above you.
Something inside you quivers at the revelation.
You know it’s best not to believe any of the drivel that spews from his mouth.
Curiously, he’s standing there, the white of his eyes veiny and visibly red from the press of your thumbs a moment ago.
Playing with his now singular Crysknife, tapping his fingers along the stretch of the blade—making no move to attack you. 
Then a thought occurs to you. Feyde-Rautha wanted you to survive. Butchered and bloody, still barely hanging on. He wanted to see you at your emotional breaking point. Writhing and begging for his mercy, begging for your life. The sick fuck derives pleasure from it.
So you say the complete opposite of what he's expecting.
"I want to die," the level of your drawl is barely heard over the crowds chants and shouts booming through the stadium. And you wonder if he can hear you at all.
You drag your aching body towards him, the hidden knife in your hand still clenched thoroughly, stapled to your inner thigh. Your eyes feel raw, chaffed with sand, burning. They flutter as they try to remain open. But you use your eye muscles to slowly turn your face upwards from the ground, eyes searching for his.
"I want you to hurt like I hurt," you carefully fabricate your trembling voice, peering up at him behind your full lashes. Testing him, you spit vehemently on his black boots, emphasizing your point.
The sheen of it glistened in the black and white atmosphere, slightly outlined in a pinkish hue. You're determined to feast your eyes on him, to look as inticing as ever. You use your tongue to push the blood out from inside your mouth, in efforts to trigger his bloodlust. Blood dribbles down your chin onto the murky pits, stained from you.
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The world shifts as you take your chance.
His black mouth opens wide in a gleaming smile. His interest is piqued.
"Oh," he coos. His pale hand suddenly darts out to grasp your dribbling face. "What a magnificent sight."
His thumbs trace along your bloodied chin. The fresh blood stains his fingertips, and you couldn't place the emotion that was there. Wide, perplexed eyes settle on you. His mouth was not upturned, but in a hard line. His orbs were staring right through you. 
The seriousness of his mouth with the stimulated look in his eyes unsettled you. "Look at the blood of this fighter." He croons.
You pretend to struggle with rapid head movements to dislodge your head from his grasp. He only holds it there tighter. Now you show off your crimson stained lips, pouting in dismay.
Guard down.
He leans down, looming over you as he studies you. As you initially remembered, his ebony armour suit covered his body in an efficient way, everywhere except his ever-exposed face and neck.
His thumb moves from your chin to your full, battered lips.
You make your eyes as pathetic as possible, pleading. He tilts his head in fascination, and you beg.
“Please..”
You feel his thumb stutter on your bloodied lips at the sound, and his eyes blacken at once.
Bingo.
His enraptured pale face is the closest thing to you, and you don’t waste a minute before plunging the blade into the skin of his cheek, tearing through the flesh.
He roars, and you think the blade nicked his teeth as you hear a click.
There it is again: the change. His smirking, bemused face is wiped clean and replaced with a demonic, empty expression. 
You’re suddenly gathered in his arms, and he slams you against the nearest arena wall. You struggle against him, shouting your protests. His forehead presses to yours—your heartbeat pounds. His magnetic probing eyes are otherworldly as they obliterate the world around you, and it’s claustrophobic. 
You writhe and shake in fear, doing everything in your power to throw him off you. You punch him in the nose with a crunch. You punch him again in the face, sending it reeling. Your other hand chops aggressively at his cheek, downward, your palm bruised by the handle of the blade, wanting it to rupture. But all he does is laugh cruelly at you, his eyes glinting.
He withdraws the blade out of his cheek, tensing as he does it. You hear it hit the ground with a clang. He then grasps the handle jutting out of your thigh, wrenching it out.
Your muscles scream. But your voice doesn’t, in shock. He whips the blade away, throwing it to the side.
His tar-like mouth is drooling saliva and blood, panting into your shell-shocked face. Drool hits your chin as devious gaze envelops you, forehead digging into yours.
Your eyes glaze over and your belly flutters at that, mind completely wiped.
Blood begins to trickle—no, outpour from your wound.
You struggle to hold your balance, barely propping up your form.
He falls to his knees then, using his hands to steady you, snaking his arms down your calf. He stops on your ankle, wrapping his pale fingers around it, his other hand clutching the heel of your shoe.
Your blood runs ice cold. You whimper.
“Hush," he coos. "This is what happens when you volunteer to get slaughtered, rodent." 
He grasps your ankle, and turns it sharply, the movement emitting a sickening snap, the pain is ice hot, the guttural scream ripping through your chest emits such a frequency...
That the crowd goes silent.
"Oh," his bulbous eyes are wide as saucers, his evil coming off in waves as he mockingly consoles you. “Such a delectable sound, so beautiful.”
The colour is drained from your face.
“Not much longer, I swear...”  he moans, about to grab your ankle again.
And now it's your hands that are on his face, clasping his jaw in desperation as you tilt his chin upwards.
"You don't get to fucking do this." You hold his head in your hands as you stumble with your words.
You don't miss the amused expression on his blackened teeth, and, every so slowly, his hands come to rest on your hands that are cradling his face. His eyes are on fire. Your hands are on fire at his touch.
He tilts his head curiously. "My, my..."
He keeps your grip there. And the eye contact is too much.
He slowly takes your hands down, trying to pin them to your sides, but you aren't going without a fight again. Your worn muscle strains to keep them planted on his jaw, and you’re the one who’s grinning like a maniac now, thumbs digging into the corner of his mouth, stretching that god awful black mouth open.
He chuckles knowingly, his stretched smile guttural, sounding as if Satan himself had spawned. 
"You are special, aren't you?" He pauses to consider your gushing, bloody mess of a face. The deep baritone husk of his voice is sickly sweet. "Even with everything beaten out of you,"
You can't believe how vile and how utterly deranged and twisted this man was to be toying with your anguish and consuming it like a life force. Like it makes him stronger, all the better off to treat your broken soul as a means to an end. 
You tell him this. You tell him exactly now you feel, past the point of caring. You are out-of-body; you are not even attached anymore, shattered beyond repair. 
“Fucking piece of shit," Your voice is hoarse from your screaming, dryer than the desert wastes.You want to see his face as it contorts, need to see him receive your insult as harsh as it was intended. 
His face doesn't seem to register what you said. His pale head merely drops out of your hands to be level with your ankle again as it twitches in his scratchy and cut-up, war-torn palms, your soft skin supple in comparison.
Your ankle is yanked in one swift, fluid motion, and you know he heard you. The pain is making you see starry, glittery speckles as your eyelids flutter close. 
Death is near.
The crowd says it. That's them. That must be them. All of their voices sound like a chorus—a church choir—as you float in and out of consciousness. 
You don't know how long you've been yanked forward; you swear you've been to the end of the arena, doing laps around Feyd-Rautha. 
Running in a diagonal line, weaving through him. Mother would be proud.
But no, something is heavy, rooting you to the ground and sitting on your chest, weighing you down like a cinder block.
The flaps on his black armoured legs are covering your face in the struggle; his knees are pressed into your cheeks as he gathers your arms, both of them against his chest, holding them to him like floppy string beans.
You push against him, “Fucking Harkonnen scum!" Your anger rips out of your throat; your hatred is not reserved anymore; it’s open, bearing witness for the crowd to see.
“You forget yourself,” Feyd-Rautha sneers down at you as he collects your flailing limbs in his palms. “Your beauty is the only thing saving you at this point.” 
His words strike right at your heart, your chest tightening in dread.
Beauty?
But there’s something else there, amongst the terror. Something you don’t want to acknowledge, and in the desecration of your soul, you feel yourself, your whole body, flush. 
You panic at your sickened thoughts, and you dip your head up to see your jello-like arms captured by Feyd-Rautha. Your broken ankle lies horribly twisted. Your anguished, throbbing limbs and fresh wounds are seeping with agony. And your bones—your bones ought to be mush by now. 
Exhaustion has caught up to you. You've ignored it for so long... so long.
Trying to prove yourself.
Your eyes flutter close.
“Closing your eyes isn’t going to make this go away,” the rough, taunting voice of Feyd-Rautha sends a jolt through your body.
You tighten your eyes harder. 
Let me rest. Let me take a rest from you.
“I said-” His voice was malevolent, husky. “I need to see those eyes again.”
Your eyes fly open, just in time to see his blackened mouth now hovering over yours, his proximity making your body go rigid. His chest is weighing you down, his body caging you.
His dark, gleeful expression seems to ruin you as your nose grazes his. Your heart sings. 
No. This is wrong.
“What are you doing?” You don’t believe your own protest as it spills out of you. Your heart is hammering out of your chest.
The palm of his hand slid over your tattered shorts, over the skin of your hip bone. Goosebumps rise at his touch, and he smiles at that, his wet tongue swiping over his black teeth in perverse fascination.
“How utterly brave,” he whispers, his eyes lit aflame as they locked on yours. He drags a finger down your temple, cheek, and finally lets it rest on your jaw, his touch burning like a brand. “A hero amongst them. One that isn’t afraid to be broken. One that welcomes it.”
“Harkonnen-” your protest dies in your throat when you suddenly feel his tongue dart out to lick the blood gathering at the corner of your mouth. 
You freeze. Your eyes widen as he licks it clean. The black pit of his mouth draws closer, and you’re sinking. Your stomach flips upside down. His tongue slithers into your mouth, an overflow of warmth flowing in your belly. You can’t think... You can’t feel. His lips are surprisingly soft as they obliterate you.
He tastes metallic, with a hint of black liquorice. 
Your body shakes like a leaf in his arms—the nerves overflowing. He deeply chuckles, the sound reverberating in your mouth, as his tongue punches yours, darting around and around. Your thoughts are so muddied you sigh and you’re kissing him back with feverish passion. He groans at that.
His hand is splayed over your abdomen, and you feel the cool sensation of his rings. Something snaps inside you. You break the kiss.
No, what am I doing, what am I doing, what the fuck am I-
"Wait-”
His hand trails lower and lower, settling on your pubic bone.
“I-” 
You're stuttering, scarlet red and flushed with humiliation.
“Shhhh..” His shushes are guttural, and a shiver runs up your spine.
Someone has to stop this, right? Th-They'll stop the battle right, once they realize this isn't a battle anymore.
You watch as his arms slide up and underneath your tunic, deep shame swirling in your belly as excitement and thrill courses through your veins from his attention.
They'll stop it, They can stop, I won't be made a fool of- no I won't-
His other hand's rings caress your ribcage, your skin pin-pricking with want. He traces carefully over every rib bone before pressing. Hard.
You yelp as you snap out of your reverie and dig your nails into his wrist, bucking wildly against him in an effort to get him off of you.
Why would they stop it? You're in the arena with a treasured and respected sociopath—their precious Na-Baron.
His hand slides down your shoulder, down the apex of your arm, goosebumps continuing to rise despite your flailing frame.
Your eyes encapsulated your undoing under Feyd-Rautha’s hard stare. He didn’t believe you for a second as he watched you flail about. His sickly eyes were large and expanding at your blatant but silent need.
"N-Na-Barron, you don't need to trouble yourself. I'm a peasant, worthless all around. Surely you wouldn't dishonour yourself...disrespect yourself..." Your ramble came in short gasps.
It sounded pitiful and sad to even your own ears.
Something flashes over his eyes in amusement as he considers you.
“Oh,” his rough voice muses. “But I do respect you, pet.” 
And at that, his ringed fingers cupped you, sliding over your nub.
Your face came alive, then. Like he had never seen. Your eyes swirl, cheeks flushed, pink mouth open—tormented by your enjoyment.
“So lovely,” he encouraged. You shuddered inwardly, your insides like a million shards of glass as his ink-stained teeth smiled down at you.
You’re unable to keep up with his ministrations. A sob wracks through you, the pleasure travelling the whole length of your skeleton down to your toes.
His hot mouth is moving over your collarbone as you struggle to punch him.
He hovers over you, brushing your resisting face with his fingers. He covers your angry fist and snatches it to his chest, holding it steadfast.
"Give in now, you poor thing."
Instantly, your eyes are sucked into his deep blue ones, as he quickens his pace. Flicking back and forth.
You cry out, arching into his chest.
His mouth opens in a mocking, seductive gleam, clearly loving your reactions.
“Can’t-” you think you go to another dimension, a cosmic shift as you try to make sense of what is happening to you.
“Can’t what?” He grovels, low and heavy. His hunger is apparent. His tongue makes a home in your ear, as your eyes roll back into your head.
Faster and faster, he demolishes your entire being, breaking you from the inside out.
You think you go to Caladan for a moment, maybe to Arrakis—your body flying as the pressure builds.
Somehow, in the midst of adrenaline, your battle instinct takes over, and you're able to roll on top of him, bringing his forearm that has disappeared in your trousers with you. 
You sit up straight—on top of him, shakily wrapping your hands around his throat.
A sinister laugh erupts from under you. Feyd-Rautha angles his flicking wrist so that it never leaves you, his free hand seizing the cleft of your hip completely still. Your body sputters in shock.
Your glassy orbs flicker over his angular, pale face like a hawk, stuttering with vulnerability, and he senses it.
He hoarsely speaks below you, his desire thick. “I need it, give it to me, I want it, I need you,”
His words hit you like dynamite as the pleasure amounted within you, tears in your eyes at the intensity of the moment. His bulbous eyes never left you, his black mouth opening at the sight of you in utter devotion. Your hands release from his throat.
Your defeated eyes are engulfed by his as you collapse onto his chest. You felt the throes of submission envelop you - needing, wanting to be under his scrutiny, his gaze. His armoured arms fastened you in his grip, anchoring your shaking form in his arms, holding you close.
His pale head went rest on your shoulder blade for a moment, then pulled you back to leer at you. 
This intimacy with.. him.
It could not be replicated through space and time.
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Feyd-Rautha hauls your crumpled form to him, his white hand digging into your hip as he tosses one of your arms around his shoulders. He's doing most of the heavy lifting as you lean against him, depleted and brutalized. He’s walking you towards the stands.
Your face was caked with dirt and blood, swollen. You were numb - to his violence earlier, to his.. attention.   
A bellow is heard above. 
"Exquisite, nephew." The Baron nodded at the both of you, his enormous form like a boulder in the stands. “You lest come across a treat among the gutter like that in your lifetime.”
You turn away, your brow furrowing in disdain.
You feel a harsh slap to your cheek, the bite of it temporarily distracting you from your seething anger, but fuelling it nonetheless. “Look at my uncle when he’s addressing you.”
“Just kill me,” you gritted your teeth as you whisper at him, feeling debased, undignified.
His eye contact was immobilizing.
"Oh now you beg, treasure?" Feyd-Rautha says deeply, in awe. "When you've stopped fighting?"
You barely process the term of endearment as it shuts you up.
Feyd-Rautha is holds your upper torso, forcing you to stand against him, squeezing your cheeks together as he inclines your face to his uncle.
Plump lips encase the shell of your ear, his hot saliva sending waves of.. something down your spine.
“You should be proud." Feyd grunted out. "I don't service those in the arena often, but when I do...”
He plays with your ribs, his fingers cold underneath your tatted and holey shirt.
“I make sure they are worthy of it, to add to the display,”
You know exactly what he means by serviced, and you feel mortified of the memory, knowing - The Baron, noble ladies and the noble men all have seen it. They must know that nothing is off limits for a sadist - you could imagine he tortured and serviced men and women alike - you doubt it mattered to him.
It was the Harkonnen Arena, everything for the ease of entertainment. 
Your protest was instant. “Go fuck yours-”
"Shut your mouth, pet, before I send you away to be a slave, the only worth you'll ever live." He threatened. "If you're to behave, you'll be here, training with me, for battle regularly.”
“I don’t blame you, nephew,” The Baron jeered from the stands. “How did you learn to move like that, girl?”
Feyd-Rautha’s mouth was open again—a tunnel of black tar. “Answer him.”
“A peasant never reveals their secret, my lord.” you bluntly say, not caring for the repercussions.
You hear Feyd growl in a warning before the Baron interrupts him, erupting in jolly, sick laughter. “Oh, what fun you’ll have with this one, nephew.”
“Indeed, uncle.” Feyd’s deep blue irises drink you in as he snatches you roughly.
Feyd-Rautha steps around the arena, presenting you to the people like a spectacle. He allows you your respect, holding you with your arms stretched like a splayed out starfish. The flat of his palm is pushing the centre of your spine.
You do feel like you’ve gone through hell as you hear the crowd roar in applause. You do feel like you’ve earned something. But you didn’t. You failed. Tears roll down your face.
Did I mother? Did I do it?
A flash of your mother’s caring eyes envelopes you. She nods, her angelic presence swarming around you.
“You did well, daughter.” A whisper. “I couldn’t have asked for better.”
She cradles your head in your hands, tilting your head to meet her warmth.
You grin, happiness enveloping you, grasping at her shoulders. You want to hold her, but you can’t. “Really, mother?”
“Yes, Caladanian." Her warm smile is pitch black. Her praise is false, a lie.
With a sick feeling, it’s his voice now whispering in your ears again, breaking you from your dreamy experience. 
Feyd-Rautha's chest is pressing into your bruised back as he holds you to him.. Can he.. let you keep speaking with your mother, just for a moment? Would he, if you followed orders, if you made no trouble?
“The honour you deserve, pet..” His thumbs wipe at your tears as they dribble down your sunken cheeks, but his face is devious. “I shall wash and clean you myself, and then you’re going to rest in my arms tonight,” His whispers aren’t of comfort, like hers—his voice is too brazen, too guttural.
His eyes are a bottomless pit as his hand travels to the base of your neck.
“I think you might be my favourite..” He squeezes, briefly cutting off your air supply and you sputter and cough.
You feel faint. A stream of water is forced down your lips, and you drink it, still coughing.
Your vision is hazy, and you decide it’s time to sleep. It’s like he’s rocking you back and forth, the length of your body dragging along the sand, back and forth and back and forth and-
Shushing you, soothing you, like a baby. 
Still hearing the crowd congratulate you, the deafening cries of the Harkonnen people clear in your eardrum, still feeling him grip you -
In your weakened state, a surge of lightning flows through your veins. From the gods, perhaps?
They’ve seen what you did; they’ve seen what you’ve endured.
There’s colour now in this bleak, desolate oasis. You’re the colour.
The black sun seemingly speaks as it encases your entirety. 
You have won, dear one. You have survived.
PART 1 PART 2
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coquelicoq · 5 months
Text
In talking about Chaucer (p. 74), I said that, in general, puns and verbal connections of sound were unimportant and not to be sought out; and now, you will say, I have been using them to explain cruces in Shakespeare. Alas, you have touched on a sore point; this is one of the less reputable aspects of our national poet. A quibble is to Shakespeare [Johnson could not but confess] what luminous vapours are to the traveller; he follows it at all adventures; it is sure to lead him out of his way and sure to engulf him in the mire. It has some malignant power over his mind.... A quibble was for him the fatal Cleopatra for whom he lost the world, and was content to lose it. Nor can I hold out against the Doctor, beyond saying that life ran very high in those days, and that he does not seem to have lost the world so completely after all. It shows lack of decision and will-power, a feminine pleasure in yielding to the mesmerism of language, in getting one's way, if at all, by deceit and flattery, for a poet to be so fearfully susceptible to puns. Many of us could wish the Bard had been more manly in his literary habits, and I am afraid the Sitwells are just as bad.
William Empson, 7 Types of Ambiguity, ch 2 pp 100-101
i'm sorry this is so fucking funny. that pathetic loser shakespeare who loved puns so much it cost him everything, except of course his status as the most famous, most read, most immortal english-language author of all time. but everything else, he lost and it's all because of how weak he was to resist a pun :/ pouring one out for my sad little girly man who could have had it all if only he was better at writing, the thing he is the most famous guy in the world for.
even empson, who disagrees with johnson that shakespeare "lost the world", is like, too bad our favorite poet is susceptible to the thing that made him famous :/ really tragic that the guy whose wordplay we've been talking about for 300 years likes wordplay :///
also i can't get over writing a book about the types of ambiguity and NOT INCLUDING PUNS?? sorry but puns are ambiguous! that's where their juice comes from! imagine liking ambiguity so much you write a book about it but never mention puns except to dunk on them. imagine being a POET and POETRY CRITIC who looks down on sound-based ambiguity! could not be me!!
#puns are a device just as much as any other kind of ambiguity! this value judgment is hilariously nonsensical to me#why are puns bad but other ambiguities aren't? you can't just call them feminine and expect me to be like oh okay in that case#next time my dad makes a pun i'm just going to sigh sadly about his lack of decision and willpower#what a feminine pleasure in yielding to the mesmerism of language i will say. not very manly of you dad :/#i'm annoyed too because one of the types of ambiguity he respects is when one word has multiple meanings possible#in the context of the text. but that is in a sense a kind of pun. he says puns are homophonic but guess what#when one word has multiple meanings another way of saying that is that those are different words that happen to be spelled the same#that is then homophonic ambiguity! aka a fucking pun!!!!#i'm not just quibbling over the exact definition of a pun. i'm saying the boundaries are THAT porous i don't see how you could possibly#like semantic ambiguity as long as the spelling is identical but suddenly think it's facile when the spelling/etymology is different#that's not at all based in rational thinking but he's over here like 'the mesmerism of language is for girls'#pot meet kettle much???#poetry#ambiguity#puns#shakespeare#my posts#there was one other thing i was gonna say what was it. OH YEAH. he also was saying a few pages back that spelling was completely#unstandardized in shakespeare's time...so then why does it matter???#okay and one more thing. he keeps trying to convince me that various verses are syntactically ambiguous if you ignore the punctuation#okay. if we're ignoring punctuation we must be hearing it orally. which means we also don't know what spelling was used!!!!#i think probably he would say he cares more about etymology than spelling. words with different meanings that are etymologically#related are allowed and manly but words with different meanings that came from different roots are a weakness to be avoided#like i'm sorry dude but that is so arbitrary. and you are just cutting yourself off from an immensely rich body of possible ambiguities#by disallowing that kind of wordplay. why would you want to do that????
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neechees · 2 months
Note
Hi! Do you have any information about how to vet PayPal-based donation blogs based in Gaza? I got an ask from this user (screenshot below) and on their blog it seems that the only donation source is PayPal, but my understanding was that PayPal didn’t work there. I really don’t want to not help people because I misidentified their blog as suspicious but I don’t want to lead anyone to a false link or donation. Any help super appreciated.
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First of, this user is a scammer. They're already on the scam list, and their pinned post is directly copying this genuine gfm (buy we know this can't be the person from the gfm, because the gfm doesn't link to this tumblr or offer that paypal the tumblr blog uses as a form of accepting donations)
Regarding vetting, I'll say, and this is important, that 1. I myself don't do the vetting, I call out the scams that are definitely scams and that I have proof of, and 2. The people who are doing the vetting are multiple Palestinian users on here (such as 90-ghost, nabulsi, el-shab-hussein-, & others) who have been on tumblr for quite some time, and who can confirm what Palestinian fundraisers are real because they either know them, know someone who knows them, or have talked to various Palestinians who have made new blogs and determined them to be genuine due to a number of factors. Most scammers are either not trying to talk to real Palestinians doing the vetting because they know they'll get caught lying (and many will block the users doing the vetting), OR the ones that DO are quickly found out anyway for various reasons (such as for obviously using something like Google translate).
But if you want tips on how to suss out who you think might be a scammer on your own, try these:
If a suspected blog claims to be "vetted and verified!" In their donation post or ask, go and look at their posts and blog: most genuine fundraisers who claim to be vetted will @ the users that vetted them, sometimes might even provide a link to a post of the vetter confirming them to be genuine, and/or you'll see a Palestinian user verbally confirming them to be genuine in the notes in one of their posts, OR you can go to a vetter's blog & look for their url. If they're actually vetted you'll find them there. Additionally, the person confirming them to be genuine MUST be a popular Palestinian user who is currently volunteering to be a vetter, it CANNOT be the suspected blog in question "verifying" themselves or any other rando. But many scammers are lying by starting off their post by saying they are "vetted" & sometimes even name dropping random users hoping nobody will double check to see if they're lying. Double check. You won't find any vetter in their notes confirming them to be real. If you're still unsure, don't interact with the blog or reblog their donation posts until you find evidence theyre vetted.
Go to the blog @kyra45 and have a look at our resources where Kyra helpfully gives tips on how to spot scams, and lists the really popular scammers & the stories they like to reuse. Also keep tabs on the "users pretending to be Palestinian" post there, where Kyra & others give daily updates on which users are scammers pretending to be Palestinian on the same post & give proof for why.
Connected to our resources post, but look at the tips posts, anc give the blog a scan to see if it fits any of the common red flags that of a scammer (and remember, these things have to be taken in context together, it can't just be one thing). Does the blog fit the description of any of the scammers we listed (such as one who constantly reuses the fake story of being a diabetic Palestinian & mentions humalog)? Does their paypal location match where they claim to be (such as, they say they're in the U.S but the paypal link says they're located in the Philippines)? Are they using a knockoff site instead of the more popular one (such as gogetfunding instead of gofundme)? Do they ONLY link to a paypal set to USD instead of a gofundme? Does their profile photo show up in another place but they're claiming its a photo of themselves (such as one I found where the photo belonged to a woman in Pakistan, & the scammer pretending to be Palestinian claimed the photo was of them)? Copy & paste the ask or parts of the ask they sent you: do other asks with the exact same or similar wording show up on lots of other answered asks in the tumblr search from now deactivated blogs? Does their donation post seem to have multiple replies, but the replies section shows nothing except a notification that says "some replies may be hidden or deleted", and/or replies are turned off? (<- this usually is an indication that this blog is a scammer, and people were calling them out, & so they hid those replies so no one could see the evidence). Does their url show up in the scam list? Things like that.
But if you're still unsure and want some help, and think a blog might be a scam, bring it to one of us scam busters (& there's about 8 of us currently active) & we'll have a look at it. If you think a blog might be real, visit a Palestinian vetter's blog and see if that url shows up. In the meantime when you still aren't sure, don't interact with blogs claiming to be Palestinian that you can't be sure are genuine.
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inbarfink · 1 year
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So when I wrote down that Big Undertale Meta Post about how Sans probably doesn’t remember RESETs at all and why that’s cool - I got a lot of responses to the tune of ‘that’s probably canon but I’m still gonna enjoy Sans Remember fics because of the angst’. And, well... first I want to emphasize that those are very good and correct responses! Like ‘I acknowledge might or might not be in the text but I am also gonna explore alternative ideas Because I Enjoy Them’ is a Good Damn Position to have! Transformative Fandom is Transformative on purpose! Engage with the text and it’s various analyses but don’t let it chain your creativity or fun!
It’s just that… all of the people saying that they prefer Sans Remembering ‘for the Angst’ make me think that maybe folks are kinda ignoring the incredible angst potential of Sans NOT remembering.
My original post focused on how cool it is that Sans manages to be so on-top-of-things even though he doesn’t remember anything - but let’s not ignore the fact that this situation is also grim as shit.
Through some mysterious super-science or whatever, Sans has managed to discover that his timeline is being RESET and altered constantly (before the Player came along, Flowey had already managed to basically 100% the entire Underground) and he has no memory of what's going on and what exactly is being altered. 
He knows he might’ve gone through the same day over and over and over again thousand times but he’s simply not aware of it. It’s all the helplessness and lack of forward momentum of a classic timeloop and none of the benefits of memorizing occurrences or acquiring extra information. That’s exactly the thing that drove him into his depressive spiral.
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That line always strikes me. It’s like… Sans suspects that without the meddling of capricious immortal time gods, he’d be a much happier and motivated person. But he doesn’t know for sure, because he can’t remember how he was in some distant ‘original timeline’. He is essentially fighting to avenge a version of himself that might not even be real.
Like, yes, it is very impressive and badass how well Sans trained himself to notice every tiny little hint that might indicate that a RESET happened - but it’s impressive because the deck is stacked so heavily against him. And it is very impressive and badass how Sans managed to turn his weaknesses into strengths during his Boss Battle - but it’s impressive because these are usually huge weaknesses. Trying to work to solve a timeloop that you can only infer is going on through context clues is quite a hopeless and desperate mission!
Another bit in the Sans fight that I often think about is his unique reaction if you kill him and then RESET to Fight him again.
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With how skilled he is at reading expressions, Sans probably knows what that ‘weird expression’ means, he knows the Player killed him once before and is here to try again. And yet he still goes along with the same attack plan he has, the one he knows killed him in that previous timeline. Why? Because he doesn’t know where the flaw in his plan was exactly, he can’t even begin to guess. So he has no choice but to go along with the plan he knows did kill him, because that’s the only thing he has. 
You know, the thing about Sans, is that he always plays his cards very close to his chest. It’s very hard to tell what exactly he’s thinking. That’s probably why so many people do believe he remembers RESET. If any non-Flowey character remembered RESETs, only Sans would be remotely able to hide it so well. But for me? It makes me wonder how much of his Troll who Knows Too Much persona is a bit of an act as well. 
You know, Sans’ deduction requires some keen observational skills - does he ever second-guess his conclusions? Living on constant high-alert that something has been reversed or that someone knows something they shouldn’t requires fostering a lot of paranoia, and that can’t be healthy for him. Is he ever overcome with doubt on whatever something was really an indication of a timeline RESET or not? How does he feel when he realizes something horrible happened on a previous timeline (for example, his brother dying) but he doesn’t know about the context to feel sure that he can stop it from happening again? 
I also think about it in terms of his relationship to Papyrus in general. Sans tends to hide so many things from Papyrus, especially in timelines where the Player is particularly kill-happy...
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In part it’s about his perception that Papyrus’ kindness and pacifism is born from naïveté and thus the only way to preserve it is to hide the cruelty and harshness of the world from him (Undyne also does that). But also, with the paranoia and helplessness Sans lives in every day - is it any wonder that he might believe that ignorance is bliss?
I do truly think it’s beautiful how fandom can experiment with cool non-canon ideas! There are probably so many great emotional angsty ideas tied up to Sans remembering RESETs! I just feel it’ll be a shame if people ignore just how dire and depressing Sans’ canon situation also is!
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sen-ya · 6 months
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Sen's Important Info Post
Post & links last updated 8/30/24
Hey I'm Sen and I draw One Piece literally every day! I try to update this post & my databases at least twice a month. Between updates, I recommend using the tags "my art" or "life after" on my blog depending on what you're looking for. Below the cut is information on the different AUs & serializations I've got going on right now :^)
Important Links
[How to use Airtable]
[Sen's Digital Comic Book] - a comprehensive database of every comic I've made!
[Life After Digital Comic Book] - a database of every page of Life After
[See Comics Early on Ko-Fi!]
[Life After Info Post]
Posting Schedule
Sunday - Misc/asks
Monday - Life After
Tuesday - Band AU
Wednesday - Life After
Thursday - Serialized Comics (current: Family AU//Forgetful)
Friday - Life After
Saturday - Misc/asks
Universe: Main Timeline
Comics that belong to this timeline are meant to follow through the events of canon, many of them were written while I was actively reading and didn't know what would happen next! Every comic that receives this tag happens in the same universe, so they may refer to each other in both plot-important and not important ways. These comics are largely LuLaw but include sprinkles of Heart Pirates (in general and as family), ZoSan, and general shenanigans.
Serializations:
Getting Together - Will they/won't they? They will, but they're gonna be stupid about it. Anything tagged into this series you can assume they haven't established that they're romantically interested in each other.
Established LuLaw - Two idiots in love. Anything tagged with this series you can assume they're together. They may not refer to each other as "boyfriend" or "partner" but whatever it is that's going on is clear to the two of them and that's what matters.
Law Loses - Most comics in this series deal with the aftermath of Winner Island. Law feels like a curse.
Goofs Only - These comics don't require serialization. They're just some good fun. If they include LawLu/LuLaw, they'll also be tagged as either "Getting Together" or "Established" so you have context for their reactions.
The Heart Bros - Law, Bepo, Penguin, and Shachi found each other as kids. Comics in this series act as glimpses into their time growing up and other brotherly interactions. This is noncompliant with the Law novel. Once they form the Heart Pirates, they consider each other brothers.
ZoSan - I don't draw these two a lot anymore, so this series is just a general ZoSan category!
Heart Pirate Shenanigans - I went all in on Heart Pirates Week 2024 and wrote a bunch of comics about the various crew members! Leaving this as an open series for when I inevitably fall down another Heart Pirate rabbit hole.
Universe: Older/Family AU
Comics that belong to this timeline are meant to follow through the events of canon, many of them were written while I was actively reading and didn't know what would happen next! Every comic that receives this tag happens in the same universe, so they may refer to each other in both plot-importanComics in this universe take place anywhere from 7 - 30 years post canon. Mostly LuLaw with sprinkles of other shenanigans. You can assume events from the main timeline are canon in this AU.
Serializations:
Accidents Happen - Law gets a cold and stops running a few effects that he'd taken for granted.
Getting Married - Did you know if two pirate captains want to get married, they can just say they're married?
Extras - This series is for posts that offer context/additional information about what's going on in the AU
Family Fluff - These are a series of comics where the focus is on Law and/or Luffy as a parent.
Forgetful - Law gets hit by a devil fruit that makes him forget everything that's happened since just before Marineford.
Get back to it - After spending some time on Zou in Rocy's first 18 months, it's time for Luffy & Law to get back to pirating.
Universe: The Worst Timeline
Comics in this universe branch off of the main timeline around Whole Cake/early Wano. These comics may refer to earlier 'main timeline' events, but what happens in them is so terrible I've refused to make them part of my own personal canon. Sometimes it's just too temping to make them suffer :^)
Serializations:
Rightfully Worried - This series is an AU in which Luffy gets the absolute shit kicked out of him in Whole Cake and when he arrives on Wano Law has to save his life. It's not the first time he's performed surgery on him, but it is the first time he's had to since he's cared so much about his patient.
The Worst Wake-Up Call - During an intense battle, Law makes a decision. The ones who love him deal with the aftermath.
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