#then we can go for the current stuff
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okay im trying to do a more systematic reading of theory, instead of the utter chaos of "reading whatever falls into my hands" starting by revisiting marx. and then continuing with the rest of the first international. this is going to take so long. this summer is gonna be marx summer though.
#specially since km interested in more current shit#but no i gotta get over three whole internationals first#then a lot of shit about the ussr#then we can go for the current stuff#unless i decide on maoism first#bro this is going to take me ages can the spirit of marx posses me or something like#i want whatever he was on when he was writing thr London notebooks during the 1850s#redmaxxing#also my ideology has changed so much in the past few months purely because#i shut up and read#im sorry lenin i can't believe i said that about you#i still think you're a bit weird though but who isn't
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So because of the length of the new DW seasons, Ncuti has been doctor for I believe only 5 more episodes than Christopher Eccleston. Now I love 9 he is one of my favourite Doctors I think it’s an absolute crime he didn’t get more time and the situation around that is criminal too, but I’m gonna put that aside for a second.
A Doctor who has had 2 companions, the return of multiple major Classic Who characters, references to the MASSIVE lore changes during the previous era, as well as involvement in currently two specials has FIVE more episodes than one of the shortest incarnations of the Doctor.
Now I can’t find anything concrete that Ncuti’s run is ending after this season, only comments that he hasn’t been ‘axed’ but no dispelling of the rumours of regeneration (or show cancellation lets be real), but if he is leaving??? That feels so wrong.
The length of these seasons is appalling we don’t get enough time to develop ANYONE properly, almost every episode seems to be out competing the others, and the huge classic Who things the entire fandom is talking about have taken place over what is to be THREE episodes. Obviously they’ll likely continue into possibly further seasons but now? With Ncuti? With Varada? It’s three episodes.
Eight episodes will NEVER be enough to tell stories like these. Longer seasons allow for an episode or two that feel a little out of character because we have enough to come back around with whereas eight episodes doesn’t do that - Belinda’s immediate forgiveness and affection after seeing the Doctor torture someone is the best example so far, she literally Would Not Act Like That.
I hope this isn’t the end for Ncuti, him as the Doctor is what’s keeping me watching every week because I LOVE where he’s taking it. I just wish the plot and scripts allowed for more exploration of his version of the character and his wants and wishes (lol) and Ruby and Belinda’s character arcs (if you can even call them that).
I hope I eat my words I hope he gets more time I hope characters start to feel fully fleshed out. Mostly I hope we see the end of 8 episode seasons and go back to actual creative freedom and not a streaming set up show. I hope a lot of things.
#i am … enjoying Ncuti’s seasons but I’m currently doing a huge rewatch of new who and im onto season 6 and god the writing was just so much#better#do not get me wrong there are MANY terrible episodes#but with longer seasons you can flesh them out with pure brilliance and it even puts elements of the bad episodes into behavioural context#for example with 11 and amy and rory i have a hundred issues but i also have two hundred things i adore about them#do i wanna shake moffat a little bit yeah#do i also wanna shake his hand for his monster creation and overall story arcs?? yeah!!!#the new new stuff just….feels disjointed#it feels like it’s compensating for 8 epsidoes by going for wow factor every time and that’s just#not doctor who#there have been some episodes ive really enjoyed like dot and bubble the well (i hate that i enjoyed it but i did) and the story and the#engine but the rest fall somewhere in ‘eh’ to ‘ugh’#and i KNOW ME because many i enjoyed as i was watchjng then about an hour to a week later j went ‘wait that wasnt actually that good it#just had a banging score that took me on an emotional journey’ bc j am RULED by music#i just i love the costuming i love ncuti’s acting i love ELEMENTS of the world building but it just feels disjointed rushed and like it’s#throwing glitter at you to distract you#it doesnt feel….human??? anymore idk thags the best way i can describe it#we dont get enough pure human connection anymore#and i mean that in an emotional sense not a species sense😂#something very key is that neither of his seasons have made me cry yet because i’m just not invested enough in anyone#love watching him cry though you beautiful man#kai.txt#doctor who#dw#dr who#idk if i should tag spoilers bc im VERY vague and if you havent got the main tag blocked by now you’re fucked for the clasdic who stuff#ncuti gatwa#ncuti!doctor#verada sethu#belinda chandra
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A few months back, I asked if it was okay to write using Clora and Seb. Finished the work - thought I'd lost it on my hard drive and a virus scan located it.
Not sure if it's sad or happy, but the basic premise of it is Clora getting frustrated/upset at Sebastian and Sebastian comforting her, Sebastian getting upset at a predicament Clora's in and Clora comforting him, and them both getting frustrated/upset and having to comfort each other.
If you'd rather I didn't post it, that's fine too, but just wanted to test the waters and double check that you'd be okay with it if I gifted it to you via AO3, or see if you wanted a sneak peak of it before posting it.
OMG im so happy you were able to find it and recover the work you did!!😭🙏 AND YES OF COURSE YOU CAN POST IT AAA I CANT WAIT TO READ IT!! you can DM it to me first if you want, but i also dont mind if you post it straight away on ao3!! IM LOOKING FORWARD TO IT SM AAARGHHHA💖💖💖IT SOUNDS ANGSTY WE LOVE THE HURT/COMFORT I HOPE MY HEART CAN HANDLE IT🥺💖💖TY AGAIN FOR USING CLORA AND SEB AND TAKING THE TIME TO WRITE SOMETHING ABOUT THEM😭
@sunshine-goblin AAA THANK YOU!!! im honoured its your fav fanfic AND ALSO THE LONGEST YOUVE READ BAHAHAA fr, when you say its as long as four books in lotr it rly makes me realize how insane i am😃👍 aw IM GLAD I COULD INSPIRE YOU TO DRAW MORE AND WRITE AS WELL😭 I was curious so i creeped you and everyone go look at their HL blog @sunshines-legacy your MC is so cute and so is your art🥹💖 as for tips on writing a longfic and brainstorming and motivation and stuff, my motivation was my brainrot and unhappiness with the canon story/ending LMAOO, and looking at the story of the game and playing around with what i was unhappy with/what i WISHED could have happened instead, was a lot easier than just coming up with plotlines from scratch. but something i highly recommend is just OUTLINING and making a timeline, one of my fav parts of writing was just putting on some cafe ambience in the background and doing stream of conscious type word documents where id just barf ideas and then worry about making it pretty later....like look at how many versions of the same chapter i have BAHAHA or like different renditions bc i couldnt decide if id wanna keep a scene/what order, so id make a timeline and keep smoothing things out until i was happy with it and whatnot
brainstorming is defs my fav part of the process and the most helpful part to me. just getting a blank document and writing stuff you want to happen without worrying about how it connects to the story, and then a lot of the times as i was doing that id just keep going and it would kinda tie itself together/id come up with a solution as i was writing / once the ideas kept flowing. so basically : TIMELINES AND OUTLINES I VERY MUCH RECOMMEND, but very low pressure and barebones ones. for example, this is what my outlines/brainstorming look like
its honestly just me talking to myself LMAO, and a lot of the time ill interject and be like "OH YEAH AND THEN THIS CAN HAPPEN" as the ideas come while im writing BAHAHA. its a super fun process and honestly nothing feels better than just getting hit with that flash of inspo, and since its all very low effort theres no pressure to actually write well and its just a chill fun time AND GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR OWN PROCESS / WRITING💖💖💖it can be difficult but HOPE U HAVE FUN TOO💖💖
@a-little-lysdexic WAIT REALLY?? LMFAOO OMG THATS CRAZY....SAME BRAIN...🤝🤝...that would trip me up so much if i were you omg BAHHAHA but aside from having similar tastes in names, IM GLAD YOU LIKE MY ART AS WELL, TYY💖💖💖
THANK YOUUU im glad you're liking it!!! and that its taking over your life BAHAHA💖💖 the video you're thinking of was by @silverxstardust for chapter 13 of my fic, and you can watch the video here! (AND TY AGAIN TO SILVERXSTARDUST FOR DOING THIS!)
youtube
#ask#yapped so much#IM SO EXCITED TO READ YOUR FIC ANON U DONT UNDERSTANDDD#also for anyone interested in updates on my living situation i am currently in a dingy and sketchy af motel#but we went to a viewing for a place yesterday and we loved it so we just paid the deposit immediatley and started filling out the forms#we paid the deposit to put us on top but its still not confirmed whether we have it but I HOPE SO GAHH ITS THE PERFECT PLACE#and the perfect location we dont drive and theres literally a grocery store right outside#we wouldnt be able to move in till october 1st tho so all my stuff will just stay with uhaul and im going back to my moms on tuesday#I NEED MY MOMMYYYYYY ive been eating like such trash LMFAO#and between hopping between hotels and airbnbs and taking ubers to our viewings#me and my roommate have spent like the equivalent of 1 months rent just in the span of like a week#feelsbadman#we dont think about that tho tralalalaala#now that we have a place i can relax and stop apartment hunting and start drawing and writing again woo
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feelin real foolish for stocking up on trick or treat supplies instead of groceries over the last two months
#it's for the kids i say through gritted teeth as we go into our one month of bills savings to afford food#looking at the amount of stuff we've collected to give our for halloween vs our current struggles is big 2020 hindsight but#whatever it'll hopefully be fine#we live in a poor neighborhood and as a fellow poor kid halloween was the best holiday i wanted to go all out#and any of the toys can be reused as handouts next year#so there's that#tho i assume the toys will be popular which is why we got them#idk about yall but toys and things were MY fave#edit cuz id be nosey too but for clarity “overspending” on halloween instead of groceries means over the last two months or so we have#spent about $150 on Halloween toys and candy to give out#spread out over the two months#so its not that much in todays world but when money is tight and $150 is your grocery money it kinda an L#still excited to do this for this kids tho#i will post pics of the table
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Madohomu headcanons? :3
I used to be so much more fun about this, but in my thirties, having rewatched it, I think Homura was already looking up how to build a bomb before she met Madoka 😱
#i dabbled in the au stuff a lot but unfortunately i do now see all of homura's red flags#still waiting for rebellion 2 to see if madoka can fix her#madoka sequel where we see homura as a gun otaku neet in her college years#in my thirties i just want to be her mom#madokas mom tells homura she cant see her daughter and madoka sneaks out at night to go out with her bad girl girlfriend#homura controlling 😱 but madoka thinks she can fix her!#sayaka gets into a bar fight with homura at the dive bar homura takes madoka to#dont look too closely or youll realize my current comic is just madohomu au#dont look too closely at anything i make or itll all look like that lol
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harris supporters and trump supporters
#us politics#us elections#us news#us presidents#politics#america#trump#kamala harris#donald trump#fuck trump#hamilton musical#unbelievable that trump supporters say 'its just politics we can still be friends'#when its like the biggest betrayal to vote for someone like that to come into power AGAIN#sorry i havent posted here often ive been incredibly busy and stressed with whats going on academically and politically#love from canada#crazy how many hamilton parallels there are between the musical and current stuff
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cbc election polls in late january vs late february vs last week vs today. what is happeninggggg
#i speak#canadian politics#current events#if you told me in jan when the libs and ndp were polling the same at 20 seats each that we would be going into the election call#with apparently a 50% chance of a liberal majority#i would have thought you were insane. and yet here we are#not a fan of carney but he strikes me as the old style of conservative pre-pc merger and thats better than the trumpian new conservatives#and he is undoubtedly more competent than the alternative#AND i have a feeling itll wind up being a minority government which the ndp have proven they can leverage to get actual stuff done#but regardless of all that. objectively this is insane. IMAGINE being pp rn. embarrassing as hell#(embarrassing for the ndp too tbh but that ones just sad not funny)
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Ough my friends. (as you may be able to tell from my uhhh recent posting and lack of regular tumblr activity) i'm unfortunately in the scramble zone again! over the next three weeks i'm meeting 3 new specialists (2 of which i need to travel significantly for. crunching me mental AND physical style.) and the next fortnight i've gotta keep a granular symptoms/activity log (which is Very Emotionally Challenging due to the necessity of being actively aware of the disabilities for all the waking hours) and as such my internal monologue is starting to fade in and out! if i'm lacklustre chatting/replying etc, it's nothing personal, i'm in the pear wiggler (the symptoms syndromes are somewhat crushing me and i'm also struggling to think straight due to the horrors - sometimes i just don't really have words in my head like i normally do so it's very hard for me to chat. it's mostly just static in there with some blank awe and wonder when i take myself out to sit in the garden and gaze at beautiful things :') )
someday (hopefully soon) i will be out of the struggle zone and BIG BEAUTIFUL LIFE will be much more visible!!!! <3 i can't tell you enough how having friends who see me where i'm at and who i can just be and click with rather than having to explain and uhhh contextualise everything makes such a difference to me, especially when i'm being so Chronically Ill and disabled <3 also it's my freaking BIRTHDAY on thursday and it's forecast to rain which does not bode well for my annual birthday very special guy day-trip to the beach but we continueeeeee :') wishing the weather a very cool down but sun comes out and everybody a very lovely june <3 (i'll still be online and in touch i just don't know how 'good' i will be :P)
#medical cw#hopefully by the end of this year. i'll have had all the tests and met all the specialists i can meet for my current outstanding stuff.#and then i can figure out how i'm gonna maximise living once i find out about all of that.#hoping i can FRIEND more :') <3#this post is not even mentioning the ambient family stuff happening rn too which is. A LOT. and much of it not going to end well.#but once again we continue! do you weep? um yes but i also rejoice! in the wise words of firefoxofficial or someone else if i#missattributed <3
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any news on other parts of the toyhouse being archived? i dont really join discord servers linked to things like this & would like to know if us here on tumblr will have access.
we have everything i can think of in regards to the toyhouse saved currently! i dont have it all organized in the google drive were wokring on yet though.
so far i have everything from my darkermatters archive reorganized there, all the character icons, and screenshots and html downloads of all the character pages, minus cometcare stuff as me and rainbowmewz were working on that in a different drive initially, so we still have to move that over. everything else has been saved by other people, and will be added to the larger drive eventually
@dawn-ward (hope its alright to tag you!) has made archives of the side story images (it has everything that isnt sparklecare, cometcare, or darkermatters), and the fics.
and heres the link to the servers google drive, though again, its a massive work in progress currently and is missing a lot that we still have to upload and organize there specifically
someone in the server has all of the sparklecare and cometcare images downloaded, so were just waiting on them to upload it somewhere in regards to that
EDIT: all of the toyhouse stuff has been added!
#sorry for the delayed reaponse#i was unsure of whether or not we were allowed to share the drive link so publically so i was waiting to get the okay from archao#totally get you in regards to not wanting to join the discord btw. its definetly overwhelming#i was barely managing the stress this morning and the whole toyhouse deletion was a complete emotional rollercoaster for me#a lot of this stuff was just barely saved in time i spent literally all of friday saving character pages 🥲#but yeah i hope all of this was clear! things are a bit messy on the google drive side of things currently ill be honest#im trying to just slowly chip away at organizing stuff without compromising my own wellbeing too much#as this whole past week has genuinely started to take a toll on my physical health#but i can absolutely understand how this can be frustrating to those unwilling (or unable) to join the discord#it wont be purely within the server eventually! its just taking a lot of work to sort through everything with#not a lot of people actively working on the google drive#compared to the amount of server members#sparklecare archive#its literally 2am for me right now apologies if this is disjointed#im going to sleep like immediately after posting this#ask
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okay so the effects of the ibuprofen start wearing off after about 8 hours, at which point our symptoms start getting really bad again, but at least once it kicks in we get relief pretty quickly and it seems to work really well.
we have a rash on our face that's been really red and sore and a few hours after taking the ibuprofen it looked like it'd almost completely vanished, but it started coming back again once the meds wore off, along with our sinuses and eyes getting really painful and our mouth getting so dry we can't swallow food without having water with it.
we've also got blepharitis in our left eye which we've had for a few days because we get it almost every time the rest of these symptoms flare up. holding a warm, damp cloth against our eye for a bit seems to help, but we also have to keep cleaning our eyelids which seems to also relief some of the irritation and pain.
I'm trying to take more breaks in the middle of doing stuff to get up, clean our eyes, drink a bunch of water with electrolyte mix, get a warm damp cloth to help with the eye and sinus pain, moisturise any especially dry skin, etc, and it sucks that managing a symptom flare that's absolutely wrecking our energy levels and ability to function requires using more energy to get up and do stuff that helps (and to remember to do that stuff) but I am proud of myself for how well I'm doing with it
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#<- kinda. a lot of this is me talking about stuff that's helping but I am having a hard time#last night the sinus pain was a 9/10 and it's currently around a 5/10 which is on the milder end of what it's been for the last week or so#I'm waiting for the ibuprofen to kick in again which should get rid of it for a while#but yeah trying to manage our symptoms is just a lot to deal with when we have even less energy than usual because of those symptoms#and I also need to put together something I can use as a reminder of what to do when this stuff flares up in future#because our memory problems tend to make us forget what actually helps#and I'm also aware of a bunch of stuff I need to sort out that's unrelated to this that's stressing me out in the background#because I haven't been able to do any of it because we've been so exhausted and in so much pain#I've spent most of the last few days laid in the dark not really doing anything#at one point I had the light off and our laptop on the lowest brightness setting and still had to wear sunglasses because it was too bright#despite this I still didn't fully realise how bad it was until we actually got some relief#because the pain in our face was so bad I hadn't really noticed the other symptoms as much#so it was only once we got relief and our head felt so much clearer and our joints felt less awful#and I could stand up without getting really bad palpitations and feeling like I was going to pass out#and we could walk from our bedroom to the bathroom without almost collapsing from our balance and coordination being fucked#that I realised ''oh shit these symptoms have been fucking up our entire body way worse than I thought''#I am at least doing better at not feeling bad for resting and doing nothing because normally we do feel bad about not doing anything#but I kind of hit the point where I went ''fuck it I can't do anything and there's no point feeling guilty for not doing things I can't do'
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i love those fanarts where two killers swap weapons and each have to adjust to their buddy's power. ive tried to imagine a caleb-kazan weapon swap (they're best friends in my mind). i think kazan would probably enjoy using a gun but caleb is gonna try to pick up kazan's big ass kanabō and end up like this
#fogposting#slinger#kazan#'your stance was all wrong. you have to shift your weight' 'THAT WEIGHT SHIFTED /ME/ WTF ARE YOU SAYIN' 'SHIFT MY WEIGHT#CALZAN i know them. guys being dudes. i know they're annoying as hell whenever they hang out together#they go out hunting and fishing together and despite being two of the most prolific hunters in the entire fog they never catch a damn thing#like i just have this image of them in an ice fishing hut at lake ormond right#staring at the little hole in the ice like 'all right i know we've been here for nine hours and haven't caught anything but THIS will be it#'kazan can we just go home ive lost feeling in my hands and i gotta piss like a racehorse' 'one more try trust me trust me'#and finally the line starts reeling out fast as hell and they're both like :0 0:#it takes both of them to actually reel the damn thing in and after all of that they just ended up hooking the fucking unknown#drifting loosely in the current below like 'ARE YOU KIDDING ME HOW DID YOU EVEN GET DOWN THERE 'fuck this im getting hot cocoa at portia's'#'wow... you should... let me come with you...“ ”caleb help me stuff it back into the ice. caleb don't leave me here with it. caleb'#it's that and it's this other stupid ass scenario i entertain myself with where they're having a sleepover at the estate#like we're talking middle school sleepover they're prank calling herman and adriana and hux and playing ye olde mario kart#'hey is your - shhhh caleb stop laughing - is your 'refrigerator' running?' 'HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW IVE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I B#they finally go to bed at like 3AM but the house starts making spooky noises and they're both trying to pretend like it doesn't bother them#'hey did you hear that creak just now.' 'that floorboard has always been creaky.' 'it came from the ceiling' 'the ceiling is also a floor'#'what if it's hux. he was real mad on the phone' 'he's too loud. we'd hear his steps' 'what if it's the druanee' 'don't say that.'#caleb gets up to get a glass of water. slides the door open. crested ibis standing there. slides door closed. 'it's for you'#separately they're both very smart but together they just become the two stupidest people on earth
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Today was. A really good day! I want expecting that, but I got to talk to my advisor and it made me feel a lot better about some things I was kind of nervous about. Also had a med adjustment the other day and so far it feels nice? I’m just super hungry rn though and also why is it like 80F outside 😭
#by bug#idk I think I’m just in a really good mood today too#a bunch of life stuff is moving forward and also#we are getting to the tail end of our big project at work and it feels like a relief bc there have been some pretty exhausting days#won’t actually end until summer but kind of seeing the fruits of our labor now#although#I am admittedly nervous about how this current administration is going to try and fuck shit up 🙃#idk I have to try and just like. focus on things that are good right now bc otherwise that sends me into despair#I need more friends who work with fed agency stuff so we can rant together#I mean like. other than coworkers
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Does Yabureme ever have flashbacks or get more protective over Toga since she is just a kid, barely older than his students were?
I don't think he'd protect her any more or less than he does the rest of the league. She can also handle herself really well, or at least acts like she can. At most he'd be looking out for the trouble she causes herself. He'd be watchful for her playing with her knives too carelessly, for instance.
#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#Yabureme Aizawa AU#text post#like he'd put himself between danger and ANY league member#Aizawa was very attuned to kids and other innocents in danger but Toga is very different in comparison to his average student#moreover once he's got some of himself back he'd have a vested interest in trying to recover her somehow to get her help#this stuff is why I love this AU because we can spend more time on an almost “family” basis with the LoV#I won't go into detail but the current manga direction has me worried about certain treatments of the story's message#Aizawa in this AU will learn from the past the way others won't
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how can they bring my books to my house on friday but i can go get them from the store on monday?
#i was gonna order them yesterday but they said theyd bring them at the store on Thursday#and we can go get them on Saturday and it didnt say for how long they keep them#so i was like its fine ill just order them tomorrow but now it wont let me go get them before monday#I'll have to stay without books until then???#(i say as if im not currently reading 1 physical. 1 digital and 1 audio book and also have like 4-5 unread physical and hundreds of digital)#jo says stuff#personal ramblings
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btw similar to the whole "if you try adderall at a party and it calms you down, get an adhd test" thing, if at some point in your life you try microdosing shrooms with a friend and end up feeling like a functional person for the first time in your life, get tested for depression. like yeah hallucinogens come with elation so youre probably gonna have some "this is the best ive ever felt in my life" vibes regardless, but like. if that in and of itself feels like finally breathing in for the first time in years, thats for sure a sign that something is up with your ability to process serotonin most of the time. feeling better than ever before should be a nice bonus, not a crushing weight off your chest
#fun fact there are currently multiple ongoing studies vis a vis the effectiveness of psilocybin on depression#both on its own and as a companion to ssris#psylocybin targets the 5ht2a serotonin receptors which wikipedia tells me are more numerous in the brains of those with depression#so like. if you spend most of your life feeling like your brain is an aquarium with a leak in it and serotonin is the water and your default#state is 'slightly damp gravel grinding painfully against itself' thats ummm not normal 👍#and on the flipside of that if you have depression that no other med has worked for and know a guy. its 1000% worth it#origibberish#also i say 'wikipedia tells me' as if i just looked it up but that all comes from a long night of spite filled research after i asked my#psychiatrist if we could use the fact that psylocybin worked for me as a basis to like. narrow down which legal antidepressant#might work instead of basically just throwing darts at a board every time#and after several minutes explaining to her that i was not just asking her to prescribe me shrooms but in a legal way she went#'ohhhh yeah no unfortunately theres been no research into that‚ yeah.... sorry......:)'#which. as far as 'lies you come up with on the spot to avoid having to say i dont know' go‚ that is. maybe the worst one to pick#like. 'no‚ thats not an option'? alright fine maybe theres some internal rules or something who knows#'theres no research' though just. immediately tanks any and all credibility 100% even on its own but considering the subject matter?#youre telling me. that humans. the famously curious species that researches fucking Everything. and also Loves playing with drugs. when#trying to figure out how to make drugs that make brains feel good. would not start with the drugs they already knew made brains feel good.#youre telling me that not one (1) singular scientist tried shrooms and went 'oh my god wait. i dont feel like im dying for the first time#ever. holy fuck i need to study this'#complete misplay. absolutely legendary fumble. there were so many ways to fuck it up and somehow you found the worst. congratulations#om the other hand though. really was an excellent setup for the punchline that is the voicemail i have from them saying she'd been fired LOL#they didnt say what for specifically but yknow. based on my own experiences i certainly have theories jebfksbfk#it was annoying in the moment but at the end of the day i have shrooms and she doesnt have the job so. whos laughing now emily KSBFKSBFKDN#this is what i mean though like. rn i feel fine. not on top of the world‚ not like a god#just. fine. i just dont feel like shit. i feel like i can do stuff if i want to‚ or chill peacefully and have it actually be. relaxing.#i dont feel like gravel right now‚ i feel like a person.#and god what a fucking relief it is#really i guess the moral overall is that if at any point you react to trying a new drug the same way an addict craving a hit for days would#then there maybe is something up with your brain chemistry because that means your default state of existence is comparable to that#of withdrawal. a famously shit experience
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just applied for a part time job 😔 ough if im being honest
#do i WANT to work 2 jobs? not at all!#however i DO want to build my funds up some and thus i must#especially considering. Everything.#and with how wishywashy my job has been this year having a 1. fallback job that i already have in case i DO end up being laid off#2. have an active income in case we have MORE weeks off (which i already know we will in december)#and 3. just have a little more money in case of emergencies and so i can have a bit of spending money#so really aside from i know it'll make me Tired it's a good idea :(#especially with trying to run a fandom event OUGH#but that's only of i GET the job and im only applying for the one bc its at the craft store i worked at before#so i already KNOW how to do most of it it'll just be about refreshing and relearning and learning the few new stuff i know is there#anyway. widh me luck.#i DID saybi am currently employed and that i don't have open availability which ik is :/ when job hunting#cus computers will automatically throw out your application#and also i gave myself time on the end of my Big Job shoft to go home and shower before i would be willing to be at the Small Job#so we'll see if i even get an interview or anything lmaooo#shh ac
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