#there is so much infighting its actually fucking wild

[tidal-chaos]

the online system community sucks so bad lmao

[scarletanpan]

.

Tw for transphobia ig? Not super serious I just cant focus til i scream abt this so sorry

Tumblrs tryna get me in something I keep seeing out of context discourse abt transandrophobia , tried to avoid it bc it was hitting a sore spot but finally looked and. Don't get why ppl arguing it shouldnt be a term for transmascs/trans men bc they only experience transphobia while being benefited by the patriarchy. Like u are still. Trans? Rlly its a weird cocktail of transphobia, misogyny, and misandry where ppl dont see u as a man if they know ur female, but get uncomfortable abt u presenting as masc, like ur ruining urself and hrt turns u into some evil scary creature bc men are bad apparently and bioessentialism is a curse upon this world that needs to be eradicated like.

The timing of this got to me bc the one person I came out to fully was a guy(who had a crush on me the whole time unfortunately) that immediately responded by letting me know he was into femboys. Then clarified he also liked masc women, and every time we talked from then on he brought up guy stuff but would stop and go 'yeah idk if i should say it.. ur like a girl u know, right?' Exact phrasing no matter how many times I said haha ig but 80% of the time i feel like a guy, but I couldnt be anything other than a girl to him unless I was a femboy. He confessed that multiple times like it was some suggestion..? Great way to get ur gender fucked up like back tf up damn cognitively I am Not there yet i was just excited abt sharing my identity w someone.. I dont have an issue w them they're cute I just felt wildly dysphoric abt it. Which is why I'm complaining ig my bad its wild but minimal in comparison to stuff I read the Actual point is.

This seems to just be a handful of ppl holding these opinions and they get spread around, and they have issues w afab nb ppl like?? The complaints I've seen seem to be targeting some idea of afab nb ppl being able to use their status as a privilege which. Idk what imaginary yt skinny middle class easily able to pass being they think comprises all afab nbs and transmascs? Like have yall never heard of intersectionality a little?? Even within that group there is so much variation yall are gonna lose it when u realize race, physical appearance, money, social status and abt a million other factors impact most ppls ability to be trans while receiving any respect or affirmation like

Show me where most ppl dont look at afab nb ppl and treat them like a girl or ignore any of ur pronouns besides she/her like. It's just dumb to deny ppl the right to talk abt how they experience transphobia bc u assume every nb person can pass or wants to idk?? As an nb I don't ever rlly expect to reach passing one way or the other but we live in a society so ppl will not respect that and thats the real issue! So weird like we need to be focusing on the transphobes that don't want any of us to have the right to transition or express ourselves. Which is what I plan to do now I've said my piece but idk afab nb ppl get behind me I'll fight to the death like. I'll fight to the death for all of us we all experience oppression in one way or the other and attacking certain communities over preconceptions doesn't help imo

And last note I don't wanna seem like idk how pressing of an issue transmisogny is ik how heavily targeted trans women are on a public scale comparatively there's always something to be said abt that. And a lil nervous abt using afab I don't wanna be exclusionary but couldn't find anyone using another term for nb ppl like me I'm tryna educate myself on intersex liberation on the side.. just don't think we need to infight we should listen to each other

[heartofsnark]

So there’s this asshole; harasser in the cyberpunk fandom

Tw: Homophobic and Ablest slurs

Okay, so I don’t tend to make a lot of non-writing posts on this blog. But it is my writing blog and this pertains to mine and many other’s writing. I woke up this morning to this comment on my one-shot about pegging Johnny; 

A truly awful comment, but my first instinct was not be upset but just surprised it took him so long. (He assumes he/him pronouns for everyone else, so I’ll assume them for him.) 

This is who I have “lovingly” deemed Sodomy Man. And while its the first time under this particular pseudonym, he has commented on my work before, upset about the vile sodomy in my fic. You can usually tell its him, because he says stuff like “vile sodomy”, hates threesomes, cucking, or pegging. Basically if you portray Cyberpunk characters doing anything more than fucking through a hole in the sheets while making eye contact, he’ll get a wild hair up his ass. Especially if you do it with Johnny, which is hilariously ironic. 

But, I digress, Sodomy Man has actually commented on several people’s fics within this fandom. At times just a passing comment and at times he has flat out spammed them, harassed them, spewed slurs at them for days. And has very nearly run people out of this fandom. 

He comments under a lot of different guest names and sock puppet accounts. However, I wanna make something clear, because I’ve... looked into him a bit. TheLadyFrost is one of the guest names he likes to use and very easily, you can find there is an author within another fandom, who has that username. They are not him. They are one of the people he harasses. He has spammed comments on their fics and tried to convince people he is them, in order to bring more harassment towards them. Please, do not contact them or try to accuse them of being this person!!!!! He likes to try to cause infighting among authors, name dropping them in comments, or pretending to be them. Do not trust anything he says about other authors or if he tries to pretend to be a certain author. 

Now, unfortunately, AO3 while a wonderful site in many ways, is not the best for blocking or stopping harassment, especially from guest accounts. Their advice generally boils down to limit who can comment and delete the comments. So, I wish I had better advice for how to thwart his bullshit, but tools are limited. 

Instead, I’ll offer what I can, I don’t know how much it’s worth but I want every writer who may come across this who’s been harassed by this person or ever will potentially be bothered by him to know this; you are not alone and you are not the problem. 

This person is, they are the one harassing people, they are the one who can only put negativity out into the world and so they attack anybody who’s capable of more. They’re the one so pathetic, they need to try cause drama and spew bullshit, because they have nothing else going on in their lives. 

And if he or any commenter like him, has made you feel alone or unwanted in this fandom. It’s simply not the case. I don’t want to attach the link to this post specifically, because tumblr can be weird with links and I don’t want the server specifically associated with this loser. But there is a Cyberpunk discord server, the Cyberpunks. Which me and many other writers for the fandom are in. The link is pretty easy to find, but you can always message me for the invite, either here or on my personal blog. It’s a lovely community of people, if you hang around the right lairs you may find me rambling about my oc. And you can come chill with all of us and just know you’re truly wanted in this community, this fandom; no matter what some jackass with a sodomy fixation thinks. 

[brightlotusmoon]

wanna know the worst part about the recent bomb terrorist anti? i looked more into that. their name was zer0 iirc (can't remember their pronouns atm) and they literally lied about being a minor. all so they could claim it was predatory for adults who were upset with them for threatening atsu to report them for their behavior. then their spouse defended them...who was noticeably much much older than zer0 was claiming to be. and after more people began questioning the spouse because of the potential underlying actual pedophilia situation people thought was going on there at first. it turned out that zer0 started claiming they were 15 and then 16 within the same span of the month this discourse took place. after originally claiming to be 14. (cuz for some reason they thought saying they were 15 and 16 made their spouse in their thirties dating them look better??) and then it turned out finally that zer0 was also thirty and had three kids irl. and as far as i can tell they have not addressed the weird age faking they did nor apologized for it. and they also won't apologize for the bomb threat. i think theassholeantiarchive-2 is where i found out about some of that. it was fucking wild to read and makes me wonder now how many other antis that claim to be minors are lying. and only lying about that so they can keep claiming its child abuse for adults online to block/report them for harassing others. it's mind boggling to me the kinda behavior that antis will tell people is okay to do so they can avoid responsibility when they go too far. idk if you knew this or not but i thought you might be interested to have this extra context about the situation with the anti threatening to bomb a proshipper.

I... Wh- th- bu-

Wh-

WHAT THE FUCK.

I need to lie down.

...

I've been writing since the 1990s. Do you know what happened when we started putting fanfiction online? We were so busy hiding from Anne Rice and George RR Martin that there was barely much time for infighting especially bullying. Then again, Geocities webrings and LiveJournal fic communities were highly monitored and curated. And, okay, the internet was a baby. So, uh, I guess I have no reference? I didn't get on the internet until I was nearly 18. In the late 90s. A very different temporal critter.

This is. This is. I don't. Are we living in a horror anthology? Oh fuck, this is the Twilight Zone. But worse. Worse than Black Mirror.

This is fucking terrifying.

[briarworthandoleander]

Has there ever been a case of someone ''taming'' or ''befriending'' a large monster without the use of kinship stones or having raised the monster since birth?

For the love of

Yes, you can perfectly well "tame" or "befriend" monsters without the usage of kinship stones, or by raising them from birth.

But why the hell should you?

How are you going to go about "taming" or "befriending" a monster? Are you going to give them food? On a regular basis? What if you don't have any on you? What if they expect the next hapless person after you to feed them as well and that person doesn't have food? Are you ready for the responsibility of someone possibly being mauled to death by a monster that got angry it was not fed?

As I have stated in previous reports and studies; a lot of monsters are naturally passive to humans. Theoretically you could walk up to a Kirin and pet it as long as you don't intimidate it in any manner and don't cause it harm, as long as you can dodge fucking lightning. Please by no means take this as a "go ahead" for actually trying to pet a Kirin, they can and will kill you purely by proximity if you're in a flat area because YOU WILL BE A LIGHTNING ROD.

A lot of monsters don't give a shit about people as food because at the end of the day - people are too much effort and give very little in way of nutrition., a monster that is *desperate* for food is when there is an issue.

Another issue is that encroaching on their territory can be troublesome during certain months of the year. Breeding and infighting with other monsters can just mark a human/wyverian/lynian/canyne as a threat by proximity again.

You can live a life free of ever having to fight a monster, but there are always risks, and that is something everyone has to accept, regardless of how much you are a "friend".

With all that said I now answer the second half of your question:

Yes, you could befriend or tame a monster from birth - but then I'd ask you how that came to be. Did you steal that egg? That child?

Did you buy that egg or child?

Did you come across an orphan monster and feel pity for it?

The first two - and I'd shoot you in the foot, no questions asked. How dare you remove the animal from the wild and separate parent from child, and how dare you condone others doing so for profit.

The third...well that's trickier.

I understand that pity. I have been that person.

I took in 4 baby Tobi Kadachi because I saw their mother killed by a poacher who used a wire trap, and I was enraged that it was because of human interference that these four whelps would die without aid.

I cannot say my actions were just in taking them in, many would say I should have let nature take its course - but my counterpoint stands that it would have never had happened in the first place if not for that human poacher.

I thought myself prepared because I as a hunter had learnt a lot about Tobi Kadachi and their lifestyle, but that's different from raising them. I effectively failed, I lost two of them in infancy because I did not understand the upkeep required. The other two I have "successfully" raised to adulthood, but I have failed them in not being able to return them to their home in the wild, they are far too tame - far too used to people - far too friendly to those who would seek to do harm.

So now I ask you this: Would you be prepared for the fact you could fail in raising a monster? That in doing so you could disable them from ever truly knowing the world they would have known otherwise? Would you think that better?

I have retired as a hunter, I pour my life's work into making sure that the balance of nature stays in order, that these beautiful and wild beasts stay wild and free, and that those in my care can one day hopefully be returned to their world free of me and people.

Understand that it is a failure if they have to stay with me.

-

Leo Briarworth

[eggy-tea]

I've been rewatching SPOP with my spouse and... it really is so informed by The Discourse (TM). Thematically, it's a 5-season-long exploration of all of the arguments that make their rounds on tumblr every couple of months, and it says to them, "I see you hurting, and that hurt is real, but the only way forward is to choose compassion and community every time you possibly can."

The show is literally about all the ways that hurt people turn around and hurt others in turn -- even, and especially, their friends -- and how that just ends in pain and suffering for everyone except the institutional powers that thrive on that pain and the division it causes.

How the only way to win is to embrace each other's strengths instead of letting your differences drive you apart.

How everyone fucks up, even well-meaning people who genuinely want to help others, and if you don't let them try to do better -- if you only ever allow them to be judged by their worst mistakes -- they'll eventually decide to stop trying.

How sometimes the people who fucked up weren't well-meaning -- they wanted to hurt you -- but if they've realized they were wrong, and now they're trying to be better, you're not a bad person if you decide to give them another chance. It takes a lot of strength to do that, actually.

Like, a big part of the tension in season 4 stems from the fact that not everyone has the same needs, judges "good" in the same way, or agrees on the best way to be good, even though all of these characters have decided to dedicate their lives to Goodness. (How much progressive infighting ultimately boils down to "You're doing 'Being [X]' wrong and that's harming the cause!") At the same time, I don't think it's a coincidence that the internal strife that threatens to fracture the princess alliance is largely spurred on by Double Trouble -- literally a bad faith actor posing as a member of the group to sow discord and suspicion among its members because it's so much easier to take them down individually that when they're working together.

It's wild to me that people have watched the show and come away saying it's Not Gay Enough, but maybe that's the thing -- it never set out to earn that "Officially Gay Enough" seal of approval. Because that's a losing game. No one else gets to say that you're Gay Enough, or Not Gay Enough, because they can't bestow that upon you, and even if they could, who gets to decide? Adora isn't She-Ra because of the sword. She's She-Ra because she's She-Ra. And She-Ra -- the show and the girl -- may not be Gay Enough for some people, but they are both thoroughly, unapologetically, unquestionably Queer.

[derangedhyena-zoids]

So, random headcanon blather time mainly re: Zero, One, and zoidian apocalypse bullshit since I want to note things while I’m thinking about them:

One really hasn’t changed much since I made him up. In fact he actually seeded an entire ... idk what to call it, line of personal tropes? It’s complicated. 

But yhea. He’s basically the same. One is basically amoral, and views things through an extremely animalistic lens. Very short-term-goals oriented, doesn’t really think much in the long term - not because he can’t, but because he doesn’t see the point. By this same token he’s indifferent to the concept(s) of being worshiped (or not) - if it works to his advantage, cool, if not, whatever. Just don’t mess with him and he won’t care. He’s hopelessly devoted to Vega, and despite being brought into existence by the power of the Zoid Eve, fails to believe in it as a deity. He has basically no patience and very little sense of humor; what little he does have is, as one might expect, fairly morbid and dark. He thinks highly of himself and has a lot of pride, though it’s all rooted in a realistic assessment of his abilities so... can you blame him? It’s also difficult to tell because he doesn’t act prideful, in fact he doesn’t act like much at all. Most times you’d wonder if he was even listening because he doesn’t react or emote much, visibly. If he does, it’s usually anger. He has a hard time understanding nuance and lacks empathy.

Zero, however, has changed. Quite a lot. 

For one, Zero’s way more of a dick now. (pre-KYH he was also WAY more of a dick because he, very literally, felt entitled to be worshiped as a god.) And while he’s extremely inclined to help people, he’s not selfless. (also, I don’t know how many people acknowledged this at the end of the No Future comic, but Zero straight-up was abandoning Zeke.) Unlike One, he has a lot of patience, and is not easily frustrated. And also unlike One, he tends to think of things on a longer timeline, though given his and the Liger’s screwed-up memory, this can be Weird. He likes to nap a lot because frankly he’s tired of the world’s bullshit. Part of the reason Bit’s having such a time in Echo with the flashbacks is because Zero’s memory is incredibly damaged, as was the Liger’s. As Zero heals/regenerates after the initial reformation in K&G, he’s regaining some of his memories because he has the ‘resources’ available to spread out and sort through things out a little better. Unfortunately those ‘resources’ are Bit. But by this same token they’re incredibly bonded, as they both are to the Liger.  Historically speaking, both Zero and One were taken in by their respective “main groups” after the battle at Eveopolis. The split Death Scorpion and Zero were eventually able to defeat the Death Saurer, and Zero was then able to deal with the squabbling Scorpions. Zero was still standing at the end of all this, and was hailed as a hero. He was regarded as a leader and a savior after this, expected to help the survivors. One was out of the fight shortly after being fucked up by Zero, just as the Scorpion had initially been split. The group that saw One as the hero here were mortified to see him cast aside, and after all was said and done and they fled the city, they brought One with them. The damage that the Death Saurer had managed to do in its blithering rage was basically world-ending, though. As mentioned prior a lot of the “goo” worldwide was dried up initially or dried up shortly thereafter, severely restricting breeding grounds for Organoids and Zoids alike. A lot of the water, both surface and atmosphere, was evaporated as well, fucking up weather, temperature, soil, you name it. 

(It’s STILL fucked up, albeit settled into a ‘new normal.’) The sun got blotted out, and water was scarce. Most vegetation died. This really sucked for the uh, basically-vegan Zoidians. Under the extreme conditions the Zoids and Organoids couldn’t produce anything extra to help, either.

Between air becoming unbreathable in places (from toxic metals being vaporized by heat from chain-reactions set off by the DSaurer) and the basics for survival going away, Zoids, Zoidians and Organoids alike started to die off en masse. Though the Zoids and Organoids were better able to withstand the poor conditions, they desperately tried to help their partners. As Zoidians died and Organoids panicked, feral behavior started to set in and infighting started, often destroying what remained of many groups.  Tech wasn’t equal across various Zoidian nations and cultures. Some had the capsules (or similar) figured out and in place for emergencies. Some didn’t. After it was determined there weren’t any known habitable places left, those with knowledge of these capsules had started directing people to go to the locations with them.  Decent groups would pick up other ailing groups if they found them and urge them to come with them. Less decent groups... well... The group that had taken One with them (surprise, Hiltz’s group) were not immune to the issues and panic setting in as everything around them started to fail. They went hard after other groups for their resources, and had no issue with slaughtering whole caravans to take their ever-dwindling supplies and eat their Zoids and Organoids. (pls note that they were already crossing ten tons of lines by doing the latter, it was almost universally considered taboo to kill Organoids except in self-defense, a longstanding rule because everyone had Organoids, and nobody wanted to deal with the consequences of losing theirs. Hiltz’s group started *targeting* the Organoids in the caravans specifically, which - after they’d killed just a few, the victim group would be in such panicked disarray it’d be easy to pick apart.) It was the Organoids who started eating the Zoidians who’d been killed, as the group’s own Zoids were thin on resources and symbiosis became impossible. One, throughout all this, was provided sufficient food to recover, and when he awoke was faced with a desperate, violent lot that pleaded for his help. 

One was already fucked up at this point, but hadn’t lost much coherence yet; he was basically like  “survival of the fittest, lol. I’m sure you can figure it out” ....which they basically took as permission to become outright cannibals. Anytime anyone showed signs of failing health/weakness, they were swarmed and torn apart by the group. So what basically started happening is folks masking issues to the point of collapse, at which point they... well, were still ripped apart. They also had their own capsule tech and likewise were headed to their major sites for it, albeit with great difficulty. There were several smaller sites on the way, and some especially fit survivors were placed in these, the idea being that they’d be more likely to survive in smaller groups later when they re-awoke.  One was preserved along with a fair portion of (this traveling segment of) Hiltz’s group; when One’s capsule is later found and brought in by Prozen’s crews, Hiltz remembered this and finally had some hope that more Zoidians had been found.  But they hadn’t been - they were all long-dead. That’s the literal point at which Hiltz lost almost all hope.  Then while in such a state he basically got told off by One, which is very literally what gave him the idea he was going to go figure out the Death Saurer and Become A God and Save Zi all on his fucking own, because, well, that’s what you super reasonably do when told off by a minor deity, right? RIGHT?

(Everything in the ocean was largely okay from The Apocalypse. Zoids and Organoids who tried to carry on and function in shallower seawater were preyed upon intensely (and unable to, you know, survive doing this), because the competition for oceanic resources had skyrocketed and things had become a bit fucked up. Ultimately in NC0 times, what I’m saying is that the ocean is literally filled with giant, wild nightmare leviathan horrors and everyone who knows what’s out there just LEAVES THAT SHIT ALONE. Most people have no idea at all though, as the sea life in the shallower areas around Europa is pretty tame. HELL PLANET HELL PLANET

[stoiccthulhu]

Update time...actually, why should these be titled? I mean, whats the point of writing a title to these if all I’m going to do is ramble on and on with no specific topic of discussion, just several things on my mind?

Election day 2020 happened yesterday and I voted for nobody. And if I would have voiced my polling choice I would have voted for the candidate I see as being the best option in line with my thoughts and opinions concerning the state of the world at the moment as well as the future.

You can insert whomever you want to believe that would be based off an assumption and a look at my internetting footprint, but you would be wrong, but that’s part of the fun of interpreting what I’m writing down for you in the future. Trying to figure out what I’m actually saying. While it makes complete sense to me, because you don’t have the hidden key phrase you can’t decipher what it is that I am putting to digital paper.

I get it, I’m an asshole.

And this isn’t, completely, a justification towards my actions but a direct result of your intervention within my life that has caused this behaviour. Think of it sort of like a self-fulfilling prophecy. You interpreted me, came back, and intervened in any little way imaginable. Negatively or positively, but no matter your justification, it was still an intervention that didn’t need to happen because, as Malcolm once said, “Life, finds a way.” And just like destiny, it will find a way. But enough of all that crazy talk, you’re here because you want to hear all about my political leanings and to unravel the mystery as to this anonymous random on the internet’s preferred presidential choice in the election that has already passed.

But before I do that, let’s get some shit off my chest because I tend to swear and if you don’t like it, go the hell away. I’m sick of people being sensitive over everything. As if they’re looking for any reason to complain or get offended nowadays.

“The internet has given everyone in (the world) a voice, and evidently everyone in (the world) has chosen to use that voice to bitch about (anyone they find offensive)” -Holden McNeil (with some modern revisions)

And that’s why I’ve chose not to be PC in this thing, whenever I feel the urge to put pen to paper, relatively speaking.

Like, let’s see who I can offend right off the bat.

Women need to start getting punched more and treated like human beings instead of china dolls. If you’re a pro-gender equality advocate, and you’re a woman, you need to be willing to be punched in the face for doing ANYTHING a man would otherwise be punched in the face for. They also need to be held accountable for the shit they do to everyone. I am a strong supporter in believing that no matter what women say about women controlling the government and such, while women have great communication skills, they have the worst track record when it comes to not being aggressive, biologically speaking.

In the wild, whom are normally the more aggressive of the genders? Whom is usually the one more protective of the young? more willing to go out to hunt?

To be fair, I have a very limited knowledge when it comes to the animal kingdom. But, I mean, the Black Widow is normally depicted as being a deadly female, the female preying mantis devours the head of her mate after they’re done mating. There are so many, example, of females being worse than males in nature its hard to ignore. And, to add religious believers to the list of people offended, if you’re not ignorant to science and knowledge, or at least the pursuit of it, we evolved over a long period of time from apes, which, by nature, makes us, humans, not white people, black people, yellow people(to stick to the color scheme), brown people(gotta throw the other Asian people’s in there as well), animals. Highly evolved and communicative animals, but animals none the less. Was that supposed to be one word? Nonetheless?

Doesn’t matter. So, if you stick with my logic, you’ll see that women are terrible. Terrible. But, because men like to have sex with females as opposed to men for the most part in today’s society women have a stranglehold on the pelvic reason of an entire world, which means they can make anyone, for the most part, do anything they want and see things their way, even if they’re saying the sky is as green as the skies of Namek. An example of this is perfectly laid out in a clip from That 70′s Show. Kelso and Hyde prove women can’t play fight because they’ll turn it real, for whatever reason, just because they’re girls. To prove this, Kelso and Hyde play fight, and it looks bad, but they stop, laugh, and hug it out. Then Jackie and Donna play fight, starting out playfully, but then turning it into hair pulling and needing to be pulled apart. Both visibly angry.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUwxxJvtQnI

(OK, my memory was bad, it was Eric and Hyde, and it was set up differently, but the concept is still there.)

And I get it, they’re actors, being paid to do what the script is telling them to do, but it is true. Girls are worst during puberty as well, from what I’ve heard. And I get it, I have a biased standpoint being a male, but in today's culture that shouldn’t matter, it’s about what’s being said, not my gender.

Now that women are out of the way, lets also as black people, but not specifically black people, its more of a systemic form of racism that I believe shouldn’t exist. In which, if you are not of that specific race, you are not allowed to say the n-word. What makes me giggle right now is that with just that sentence every single person reading this probably got a bit riled up. A bit ruffled in the feathers because I’m not a black person. And if you weren’t, you are now, knowing what you know now.

So let me provide you with some context so you can understand how I’m not racist at the same time as saying what I said above.

I enjoy rap music and hip-hop, as do a lot of people throughout the world, black or otherwise. Which, in this current climate, would be considered one of the forms of cultural appropriation we tend to sweep under the rug because it doesn’t fit our narrative of being offended about something. Because I like rap music I tend to learn the word to all of the songs I enjoy listening to. Because I learn the words to the songs that I enjoy listening to I sing along. But, because I’m not black, I have to ruin my flow to edit myself just because the artist chose to use nigger in their song. Which, as an artist, is their choice.

Now, why should I have to edit myself? I have tried to replace it with “wigger”, but because of the closeness of the words, I felt that would still be offensive if I was ever overheard by the wrong black person who, understandably, would be mad if they heard a pasty white boy say the word nigger without any context.

I just think, unless the person is using the word in a hateful way, directed at the person the speaker either personally knows or is conciously speaking about, as in “i hate that nigger” or “you’re a nigger”. If it’s something like that, totally beat the shit out of that racist.

But if you’re singing along to Wu-Tang, and you say:

I be that insane nigga from the psycho ward I'm on the trigger, plus I got the Wu-Tang sword So how you figure, that you can even fuck with mine? Hey, yo, RZA! Hit me with that shit one time! And pull a foul, niggas, save the beef for the cow I'm milkin' this ho, this is my show, Tical! The fuck you wanna do on this mic piece, duke? I'm like a sniper, hyper off the ginseng root PLO Style, buddha monks with the owls Now who's the fuckin' man? Meth-Tical It shouldn’t be labelled as being racist.

There is more rattling around in my head right now, things that I’ve been thinking about for years, and things that have been bothering me for just about as long, but for now those were the two that fell out when I vomited all over my keyboard.

And if you’re offended. Get over it. You need to start.

Oh, I almost forgot. I was going to tell you whom it was I was going to vote for yesterday if I had voted for anybody. Jokingly I wanted to write-in “Obi-Wan Kenobi”. But in truth I was going to vote for Biden. Not because I thought he was the better candidate, but because there was not a good option at all, he was just the lesser of two evils. This election has made me decide I want a third option when it comes to my politicians, or at least, get rid of political parties all together. We spend so much time infighting and holding each other back instead of up no real change has happened in the past decade? Longer? And whatever change that does happen gets nitpicked apart so much it becomes a shell of its former self. But, enough about that. I have a baby demanding eggs and waffles and I still need to tag this.

[dafukdidiwatch]

Red Dawn

I understand the south park reference now

<Disclaimer: Spoilers>

I never actually intended to watch this movie this week, it just sort of happened. I was looking through Netflix for a different movie, saw this, remembered that this was on my list, and just decided to watch it.

And it was a pretty good decision. 

Overview: Text exposition tells us that communism is on the rise, countries are turning to civil war, NATO dissolved and America now has no allies. We see students from the small western town of Colorado going through their normal day when suddenly Russian/Cuban soldiers parachutes in and attacks. A small group of teens manages to escape, and begins guerilla warfare to try and take their town back.

I guess a good place to start when describing this movie is yes, the first time I heard of this movie was in a south park episode “Grey Dawn” where old people take over the town to keep their drivers license. I thought it was just regular absurdist south park humor, I didn't realize that the entire episode was a reference. It's actually one of my favorite episodes.

The only other time I heard of Red Dawn was when there was that remake with North Koreans instead of Russians/Cubans. When it came out, I really didn't care to go see it, because it felt like a stretch to me. Enemy soldiers just parachuting in the middle of a country? What was their game plan after the initial attack, fight their way out when they are completely surrounded by their opponents? It sounded like a glorified wish fulfillment with teens fighting and winning against trained military professionals.

Which was what I saw in the original, and the movie makes it work.

I wasn't watching the movie for the characters, not really. I can't even tell you what any of the characters name were. Hell, I don't think they even introduced the teen girls by name initially. The only guy I really remember was Jed and that's because they kept saying his name constantly throughout the movie.

Naw, I was mainly watching it for the plot and plot alone. How did the Russians somehow airdropped tanks to this small town? Why did,they decided it was a good idea? Who know and who cares. I left my critical thinking hat at the door when I started watching. I just wanted to see teens staging a revolt, being revolutionaries and beat the bad guys who invaded. It doesn't matter the logistics of How the movie got here, just enjoy the ride as they show it.

It didn't feel like there was a lot of individual characterization, but there was a lot of group characterization, a lot of small moments that were honestly my favorite parts. When the Russians invaded you see a bumper sticker saying "you can take my gun from my cold dead hands" and see a soldier doing just that. The town residents protesting by singing "My Country Tis Of Thee". As the teens were ditching town and stocking up food and bullets one of them grabs a football. Like, that makes sense for a teen to do. And later on we get a great scene of them actually playing football with everyone, a real group bonding moment.

There's also a great scene of three enemy soldiers just exploring the area, seeing the natural park sign, and just translating it out of his ass saying it is a site of a great battle. Yes, they are the invaders, but they aren't faceless, the movie does humanize them.

I think my all time favorite scene is when they we're victorious in their first ambush. One of the boys just shouts "WOLVERINES!!" And I laughed. Because school spirit, its their identifier to their home town, of course they would use it for their name. But it also true that the teen was just so high on adrenaline that he just cheers like at a prep rally.

The transformation of the teens to this militia group also feels very natural. The movie takes place over months and you can see the process that they take. From first just trying to survive in the wild, to protecting themselves, to laying traps, then attacking. Each victory gives them more and more supplies and more and more knowledge on how to fight. But they are still dumb kids that when someone with real tactical knowledge explains an attack plan, they have no idea what the hell he's talking about because of the terms he uses. It just seems like a natural progression.

Course, this movie does have it's bad parts to it. When the girls came into the group, some dude told them to "make themselves useful" and wash the pots, and the girls just went off in him and it felt...a little disingenuous? Like I get what the scene was supposed to represent, its war, they don't want to be belittled after the trauma they went through, and i get it. But it just felt a little Too Vicious. A little Too Forced, on both sides, for it to really feel real. This also sort of plays into the whole "lack of characterization" thing. Like, I see moments like this happening, but I just don’t feel it. Its more like hitting a mark than actually telling me anything about who they are as a person.

One of the girls has a crush on an older man. One guy is sad that his dad is dead. I think one of the kids is supposed to be the nice one, but there really isn't any focus on them for me to say exactly which one it is. The only real character with any form of characterization is Jed, seeing him deal with grief, be a leader, and the responsibilities from it, but even them its so few inbetween that it still feels a little vague.

And one of the Big Scenes that they could have done with characterization was completely mishandled. The Russians call in the Big Guns Major to deal with the Wolverines. He gets a group of men to track them down to their base camp. How? Well the town's mayor is actually the father of one of the rebels. At their insistence to be safe, the teen swallows a tracker led the army to the hideout.

That caused so much infighting and drama.

Too bad we never saw the scene.

We never saw the betrayal scene. It was just, completely cut out. We only know because after the attack the traitor teen confesses to what had happened. Which was a complete missed opportunity.

The entire scene afterwards was by god probably The Best part of the film, where they deal with the aftermath of the attack. But how could they not show the actual moment of betrayal? The teen being convinced by the enemy to rat out his friends for his family? That would have been so emotional and showed so much about the guy, but instead they just went to the next attack and told us about it as an afterthought. I guess they wanted to keep the reasoning of the attack as a surprise, but it felt like a missed opportunity to me for some character development.

Again, not to say that this movie was bad without it. To me, it chose to focus more on the events than the people, leaving only a few with any real development. It doesn't ruin the film for me in any way, and it allows for outlandish attacks and "fuck yous" for an Actual Military losing to 16 year olds. Yes, there were a few things that annoyed me. But the movie promised from Wish Fulfillment revolution fighting, and by god did it deliver.

I actually watched the trailer for the 2012 version and honestly, I sill wasn’t feeling it. It felt like it was trying too hard, or trying to give legitimacy of like a Marine leading the Teens and that’s why they were good fighters. Personally, it didn’t seem to capture the heart that is the original, but maybe it will be different if I watch it, who knows.

Overall: If you haven't had a chance, I would definitely recommend you check it out yourself. It was a fun ride from beginning to end where they put in genuine effort into making this movie and is very much appreciated. 

[incarnateirony]

Queer meta writer DrSilverFish asks, "So is Dean’s bisexuality still subtext, after this episode?" and answers "Yes, given that out there in the fly-by-night froth of mainstream entertainment journalism, it remains (as far as I can see, in my admittedly brief trawl) unremarked upon in 15x07 episode reviews." Guess she's an idiot or a hater, huh? Couldn't be she's just being realistic about what is happening. And that 15x07 didn't make Dean bi in canon. Tough luck. Maybe next time!

You mean the blog I indirectly without naming to be tactful and not directly drag my fellow LGBT community members mentioned previously liking (and, frankly, probably formerly the blog I engaged most?) and boycotting for regressive language so as to not elevate that kind of voice? Like… you know, the reason I voluntarily even said I was going to stop posting meta that brought related traffic? That one? Might as well clear that one up now if we’re playing this game. Already on it. Already, apparently, far more alert to you about it lmao what are you like a day or two late.

Queer people can in fact use regressive language and be misguided. That’s what years of gaslighting does to people. But nice tokenism of slinging someone out there by employing their sexuality, there’s plenty more saying the opposite, that isn’t how that works. Stay woke though sweetie.

Stand for something. For. Fuck. Sake.

And standing doesn’t involve using LGBT people with your preferred opinion as a token to sling at others and throw them under the bus while you hide on anon when you can’t actually broach or address the actual related queer history discussions or any of the other angles about why it’s problematic. I may be avoiding supplying traffic to the blog right now while truly believing them misguided, but you have already jumped past several pales with this one, Nonnie. 

The exploitative self-demonstrating faux activism just JUMPED out. If you wanna slapfight over throwing tokens around, the 50~ new followers I just got in the topic would probably like to have a word, or… probably not, because people like you are why they’re hiding their commentary in reblog tags. Me, a niche blog, who can sometimes go days or weeks without a follow.

h o w do you not realize how self-contrarian you are

(and frankly if anybody’s been sitting on the fence wrestling their bullshit use this anon’s methods as an insight on some of the driving minds behind anywhere from anti-ism to what some people think is activism)

and I swear to god if the thought even flitted across your mind to go crawl those tags just to shake them down too, you’re either too far gone to even know what activism or representation look like or an anti playing cute manipulator.

So you know, if that stealthed through your brain, that’s a you thing.

Shit like the call I chose to make wasn’t easy. I hope to some day go back to corresponding with them when they aren’t cycling regressive dialogue unintentionally. I just refuse to give destructive dialogue, no matter how accidental, platform. Nobody wakes up and goes, “You know what I want to do? I want to stop visiting my favorite blog for an indefinite amount of time and stop posting my favorite topic that is like the one avenue I have to speak about something fundamentally important to my real life as well, that’s what I’m going to do, I’m going to STOP EVERYTHING I enjoy.”

You do it because it’s the right fucking thing to do.

Try it some time.

Cuz this? This is an exhibit in what not to do. What even is this, some attempt to start some cancel culture bullshit between LGBT sections of fandom? Intentionally causing excess infighting where you think you sense weak spots? Do you even have a motivation beyond clutching bitterness and bad definitions? Like all the above problems with your actual action minded, if you’re not an anti stirring shit, what do you even gain by trying to pit highly connected bloggers actively against each other?

Yeah okay, total activist right here, gold star. Certainly has a great idea of how to interact in progressive discussion. What’s next, calling people snowflakes? Cuz right now your redefinition line designed to oppress queer people which, I am SORRY, no, *are* the majority *you* are going around and pissing in the blogs of while literally bullshitting and inflating your presence by claiming them to oNlY bE a fEW. As much as people think this word is overused, this is TEXT. BOOK. GASLIGHTING. And if you’re reliant on that as your entire method, you don’t even have a point or a place at this conversation table.

You know what I see only a few of you, actually. I’d estimate enough to roughly fill a group chat even. Maybe 2! In that way half of the people in chat 1 are also in chat 2. (listens to the sound of distant knee jerks inside of digital boxes). Niche nerd blogs about stats and near dead religions don’t just blow up overnight and get a bajillion new followers because the people you’re stalking and bagging down are the mInoRiTy. That isn’t how that works. That isn’t how any of this works.

I’m curious, in your time of probably bitter pissy blogging on your own corner, how many follows have you gained? Or lost? …How many notes do you have compared to the progressive facing end of this conversation? Because I am yet to find even a mildly popular post from your angle, or at least not one that stood on its own as much as – for example – what was in fact otherwise a pretty beautiful silverfish meta I almost reblogged myself, went so far as to open the reblog draft launcher thing and then, realizing the language, closed out. So yeah, posts like that get traction by this fandom’s content addiction, even I almost fucked up. And yes, circulating it is fucking up. 

So I guess we’re back to: outside of anons and like a dozen failed posts on tumblr that get less traction than a Lucifer/Ketch/Donatello fic, where are you, this giant assed majority of whoever that you’re voiceboxing from anon, which coincidentally is a basic bitch method of inflating the appearance of your own numbers, especially to people who don’t have statcounter installed?

Normalized queer text or even real people erasure isn’t somehow okay. It’s just normalized. In fact, that’s worse. Just like normalized tokenism of LGBT people, a long term issue frequently breaching on my blog – that very mindset that sent you here with this wild-assedly bass-ackwards angle – is not somehow okay, it’s just normalized. 

[overelegantstranger]

I had a headache at the time I saw your original post so I didn't feel up to engaging with it much, but if/when you have the time and energy, please could you expand on your behaviour model of queerness? (feel free to answer privately or publicly, whichever you prefer)

Hey,yeah, so! First off, sorry this took me a little bit to get to; I wasn'toperating on full brain for a while there. Anyway, the idea of Queerness as aDiscrete Identity only really started to happen in the late 1800s, when EdwardCarpenter (a gay guy in a long-running relationship, incidentally) startedyelling about it. This is part of an attempt to assert queerness as a thingseparate from morals, as a part of one's identity and as something thatdeserves a struggle for rights same as any other demographic.

I agree withthis, just in case anyone watching this thinks I want queer folks to end uplike Oscar Wilde and Simeon Solomon. I don't. But, nevertheless, in my personalopinion we lost something, as queer people, when the identity-centered approachCarpenter started took hold. The thing about identity centered approaches isthat they more easily create an us/them dynamic. Queer people become discreteunits that Straight Society can dismiss as a "them", when before - asDeborah Lutz puts it in my favourite ever book ever, "if people discoveredsuch things as sodomy existed, they might try it for themselves". StraightSociety is, by and large (but not Fully) "safe" from that anxietynow.

You're either "Gay", or you're"Straight"; you're a "them" or an "us". Thisforms an essential bracketing off of experience, because identities areactually much slippier. The lines between trans identity and gay identity areincredibly slippy, for example. Carpenter himself articulates gay male identityas having a "woman's soul". Trans and gay identities are very closelywound together; to be gay, in the late 1800s and early 1900s, is to begenderqueer.

This got separated out; I'm not sure what came first, greaterunderstanding of transness or respectability politics, but nevertheless, to adegree, identity politics allowed this distinction to happen because it hadlaid down a framework in which there could be uses and thems with regard to sexuality and non-cis gender experiences. Once"them" became a discrete class rather than just an immoral version of"us", it could be further distinguished and shifted, by both the inand out groups. I am not sure of quite the dynamics at play here but queernessgot stripped of its aspects until the only difference between the"us" and the "them" was the gender of the person you hadsex with. This was your identity, now; this was a Category you could exist in.It gained some nuances (Carpenter suggests all queer men are effeminate andarty) and lost others (your gender wasn't inherently slippery, any more). Butbecause of that slimlining of the categories, lots of people found themselveswithout category. Due to the new framework, we make identity after identity.That's fine. I have no problem with that. But categories come with measuringdevices, and all out-groups measure you for "fitness".

I've lost my thread. Anyway, you start with two distinctcategories. "Gay" and "Straight". "Gay" lost itsgenderqueerness quite early, if I recall, though I'm not sure of the actualdynamics. "Bi" immediately troubles this bracket, because you can'tfit bi folk into either. They don't measure up to the requirements of thecategories. This is why, in my opinion, a lot of biphobic folks will fall backon behavioural models. They'll use your behaviour to try and figure out whereyou fall. Rightly, a lot of bi people have fought against this and establishedfor themselves their own box.

Mainstream queer history is the constant creationof boxes. I don't necessarily disagree with this; I certainly see the impulse.But boxes necessitate measuring yourself. You have to always be enough to fitin the box, even if you made it for yourself. You're always seperated, even ifyou share a line with another person's box. Everything you do is measuredagainst the box. If your identity changes or your understanding of yourselfdevelops, you have to change the dimensions of your box (generally impossible,because we don't have personal control over many of the boxes. Boxes can changeshape if enough inhabitants decide it needs to change, but most of the time wejust move boxes).

This is an exhausting process because it requires you watchyourself at all times, to measure every aspect every time it changes. This is,in my opinion, especially exhausting because of the lines we've put up aboutnot claiming words unless you fit this box or that box, not talking about thisissue if you're not a Known Inhabitant of Box 54 And You Can Prove It. Likebringing an electric bill to prove your address, you have to present yourexperiences to prove your box-membership. So we become constantly aware and onedge; constantly waiting to whip out a ruler and measure, to prove to ourselvesor others that we belong.

Another aspect of identity models is that the act ofboxing isolates one part of your identity from another. Your gender is hangingaround in one box, while your sexuality throws a ball against the wall ofanother, and never the twain shall meet. What happens if you feel those aspectsare intertwined? What if, as I have seen often, you feel more a man whenattracted to men and more a woman when attracted to women? What if you feel youfit the definition of cis woman but your attraction to women makes you feeldistanced from womanhood in some way? What if you're aroace and a woman but youfeel isolated from the "woman" box because so many of your fellowinhabitants are allo? Do you make a new box to hold All of you or do you justcontend with living with your identities boxed apart?

Constant measuring is stressful and painful and confusingand I reject the lot of it. I reject the idea that my identity can be boxed.I open myself to the idea that my orientation and gender do not have to be pegson which my identity hangs; I open myself out to the possibility that none ofit fucking well matters. I am queer, and that's it. All the little pieces of itdon't matter. There's nothing to measure, nothing to live up to; I'm queerbecause I reject "straight" norms, and that's it. I'm not going toreplace it with another set of norms just so that I can wave my electric billin front of a REG.  What I do is moreimportant to me than whether I could fit this identity or that identity. How Ibehave is more important to me than proving I belong.

I could call myselfa polysensual, polyalterous gray-ace, aromantic androgyne; I could chase categories until every aspectof me is defined. Those categories, however, because every spare corner isfilled up with gatekeepers and discoursers, require things of you.

Polysensualrequires you to evaluate what you want from people and who you want it from,and not only what you would do butyour gut responses, the hypotheticals, the maybes. Polyalterous requires you,even though the very word is meant to mean a slipperiness between friendshipand romance, to make sure you can’t tellthe difference. Aroace requires you, again, to understand distinctions youmay not even be able to read. It requires you to measure every incident of attractionagainst a measure you don’t understand and feel constantly like someone’s goingto look through your list of attractions and make sure you count as aromantic,as ace.

Does the single time I felt sexual attraction to some celebrity discountme? Was I really talking myself into this crush or that crush? The time Iwanted a male classmate to look at me, to be impressed with me, to hold my handand kiss me – is that a romantic crush? Was that alterous, because of the timea bit later when I was dating a roommate and I felt full of glass? Androgynerequires you to examine your whole life, to evaluate yourself against girlnessand boyness and every time you tip away from one or towards another or away fromthe system entire, you find yourself lost and confused and remeasuring, but everytime you measure the ruler has changed dimensions.

I chose other words, but those too leave you dogged by the feelingthat you’re not enough, that you don’t deserve those words or communities ordefinitions; that someone’s going to see right into you and find you don’t fit.I got tired of it, I got pissed off. I’m sick of the idea that something elseinside me can be measured; that what I choose and want and claim is somehowless important than some essential Inner Self.

I fully support the use of labels, self-identification, thewaving of flags, the coining of words. I think everyone should have access toall the tools they possibly can find in order to find communities, to feel likethemselves, to understand themselves, to be understood. I don’t believe thatany identity inherently requires extreme self-analysis but I think the systemwe have, certainly on tumblr and online more generally, is sliding rapidlytowards requiring it.  I do not mean tosuggest that everyone should take ona behavioural model for themselves. I do however think that the climate we haveonline is making things less helpful, more opaque, via constant gatekeeping.

That is not a fault of the labels themselves, but it is a consequenceof identity-based models falling prey to respectability politics andauthoritarian mindsets.

That is not a fault of the labels themselves, but it is a consequenceof identity-based models falling prey to respectability politics andauthoritarian mindsets.

Moving away from a behavioural model was, at first, a goodthing, because it moved discussions of queerness away from morality. It did,however, wash us up where we are now – full of “discourse” and infighting andconstant, constant measuring.

Not everyone is going to be unhappy with the system as it isand that’s fine. Perhaps in encouraging them to do as they want while I do as Iwant I’m making another box, but perhaps I’m not.

There are aspects of the identity model I keep, but wordsand definitions have become less important to me as I’ve gone on. It is, forinstance, important to my sense of self now that I use he/him, that I feel asense of odd kinship with those troubling, “effete”, arty, dandyish, decadent,immoral gentlemen of the late eighteen-nineties. How I specifically define mysexuality is less important to me than the fact that I’m with Book, that I’mgoing to be with Book my whole damn life. How I define my sexuality is lessimportant to me than what I actually do and who do it with. It’s imperfect. I’mnot sure I’ll ever be able to fully move away from an identity-model in someform, partly because the identity-model is so pervasive that if you refuse anidentity you’re presumed cis and straight. This is happening even now with queer; even though queer is itself anidentity label, its lack of measurability has lead it to be considered spicy cishet.

If any box can be redefined as “cishet” the second a morevocal box disagrees with it, I don’t want to play by those rules and wait to bemade cishet; I want my behaviour to speak for me. I want people to have to consider me queer because theycan see I’m not-straight, I want to evade those who would shove me intostraightness just because I don’t fit their boxes.

[magmagruntalayne]

Heart of the Sea

The Sharpedo's Den was like most bars on this side of the mountain; so dimly lit, full of alcoholics whose disease was born out of tragedy, and hazy with cigarette smoke. Very few of the patrons were talking, most of them too focused on their drinks or their thoughts to bother trying to make friends. Hell, nobody was interested in making friends anymore since it was just as likely that the bastard that was making you laugh tonight would be dead by Thursday. Maybe he'd drown, or his debts would finally catch up with him; of course, that's if he was lucky. Most just starved to death or became the victim of someone, or something, that was hungry enough to see if they liked the taste of human flesh. It was like the Arceus-damned Donner Party out here nowadays.

Team Aqua had certainly made sure of that.

When Alayne had first joined Team Magma she had thought that the team rivaling her own was fairly harmless. Just a bunch of trainer dropouts pretending to be pirates while using the thin excuse of trying to clean up the oceans and making it a safer place for all sea-dwelling pokemon. Harmless, disorganized, and annoying. The complete opposite of Team Magma, the cause she had sold her soul to, which was a well-oiled machine: ruthless, tactical, and organized to the point it was almost maddening at times. A team dedicated to cleaning up the environment so that people and pokemon could live in harmony without the clash over land that was happening more and more often as people began to spread into wild areas. On paper, it was actually rather surprising to learn that Aqua and Magma were not actually two branches of the same team but competitors. From what she gathered they were one team, at some point long before she took up her red cowl, but the rift came from infighting over resources. Money, after all, was just as much of a necessary resource to a cause as clean water is to a living creature. Either way, the teams split and when she was approached with the offer of bettering not only her own future but the future of pokemon, Alayne sided with Maxie and the rest of Team Magma.

That's why she was so good at her job. She had been clashing with the members of Team Aqua even before both leaders had gone off the deep end. It was hard remembering just where both teams had gone wrong because the changes had been very subtle at first. Hell, she couldn't even remember which team had started this suicidal plunge that would ruin the world forever. Her head always said it was Archie since he's the one who had ruined the world after all so he was obviously the most logical choice, but her gut always said it was Maxie. Not that it mattered much, somewhere along the line both men began the hunt for the legendary pokemon: Groudon and Kyorge. Creators of the land and sea respectively.

At the time she never actually believed that either team would find the legendaries. Yes, she had believed they existed but at the same time, part of her believed that they were either dead, or gone, or because they were literal gods that they would never be found, let alone be bent to the wills of mere men.

Arceus must have been laughing its ass off when she first laid eyes on Kyorge.

Somehow, despite the ragtag nature of Archie's group of merry-men they actually did it. They found and summoned Kyorge to the surface in an attempt to have the god of the ocean cleanse the water of all the toxins that man had dumped into it. They had won. It was a fucking shame that it would come at the cost of the whole world.

Now instead of the world being made up of about 70% water, the currently estimated percentage was closer to 80% water, because who could have foreseen that a drawback to summoning the god that created the fucking oceans would lead to the water level rising by way fucking more than the world could take.

The waves and wind had torn Pacifidlog to pieces, ripping the wooden structures off of the Corsola colony it was founded on and dashed everything against the other rocks and islands nearby. Dewport and Slateport were just swallowed by the tide, although Slateport's famous lighthouse can still be seen when the tide is low, apparently, Dewport wasn't as lucky. Nothing was left of the little seaside town, not any kind of infrastructure either above or below water. If it wasn't for the fact that it was still in the memories of any who had ever visited it could almost be said that the town never existed. Not that Alayne could speak from first-hand experience. Exploring ruins for the lost hadn't been part of her job when she was still apart of Magma. Instead, her job had been trying to protect those places that Kyorge hadn't finished sinking, places like Rustboro, Lilycove, and her hometown of Mauville. The last of which had basically lost its whole east side due to the water rising out of Route 118. It was in the wreckage of her old home that she had been approached for a second time by a man with a job opportunity- only this time it wasn't some misguided attempt to try to save the world.

The same job had led her to leave Magma and its attempts to save the world it just as easily could have destroyed, to sipping cheap whiskey in the Sharpedo's Den as she watched the blond at the bar order another round for him and the brunette at his side.

"Ya know, you don't have to do this, right?"

The only sign that Trey's voice had startled her was the slight ripple in her cup from the tiny jerk she had given and the way her eyes cut sharply away from the couple at the bar to her companion. They both knew that she'd gotten so wrapped up in her work and brooding that she'd forgotten he was there, but he wasn't the type to complain, at least not anymore. Before the end of the world, he would have given her so much shit for it. Teasing her relentlessly until she was forced to silence him either with a look, a drink, or a kiss. The last being his all-time favorite. Not that she blamed him since it had been her favorite way of shutting him up too. Not that she had kissed him since Kyorge had resurfaced. That had broken them like it had broken all things. It didn't help that Trey had been considered Aqua's golden boy before Archie destroyed the world.

"I know," She replies, speaking mostly into her glass to avoid meeting his too green eyes.  It had been a long time since she had been able to meet his gaze, even though he was trying desperately to meet hers now.

"Then don't. Nothing's stoppin' you from walkin' out right now. It'd be easier." He leans back in his chair, tucking his hands behind his head. He was trying so hard to sound nonchalant about the whole thing but Alayne wasn't stupid. She knew he was trying to talk her out of it. It was a neat trick that she always seemed to be able to do with Trey, most people had always told her that he had been hard to read. Always putting up a happy front that few people, if any besides her, could see past. He was deeply troubled under all the smiles and the party vibe he used to give off.

Right now, he was scared, which meant that her contact had been right, the couple at the bar were Team Aqua members- and Trey knew them.

"Easier would have been killing myself a long time ago." She shot back, a surprising amount of venom in her voice.

"Hey," He drops the nonchalant act and reaches across the table to grab her free hand, which had been resting on the tabletop, "Don't talk like that, Laney. Please."

Alayne wanted to fucking cry. She wanted to crawl across the tabletop, into his arms, and cry until there was nothing left to cry about. This is why they couldn't keep doing this. One little touch and she was back in the world before- before the world forgot what the sun looked like because the rainclouds had blocked it out. Back when she was happy for the first time in her life. Magma had given her a job, friends, Pokemon, and in its own way, it had given her Trey. Aqua had stolen all of that.  Faces flashed through her mind of all the people and pokemon that she had lost. Misaki and Kira to the first failed attempt to retake Sootopolis. Adrian, Anders, and Oz to the mudslides. Kanno, Abrus, and Blue to the plagues. Leo in the riots. Ever starved and Ethan killed himself soon after. Milo to the bandits. Maxie to an assassination. Courtney, Tabitha, Cole, Mary, Lori, Felix, Bryan, Sandy-

She physically recoils from Trey's touch, spilling some of her drink, but successfully ripping herself from the flood of memories that threaten to overtake her. She couldn't do this. This is why they had to stop. He reminded her too much of all the things she lost, and they both knew that he was in part to blame for the reason they were all gone. Yet, as much as she couldn't stand him touching her because it grounded her too much in her shitty reality, Trey was the one thing that kept her from actually killing herself. And she was pretty sure that keeping her alive was the only thing that kept Trey from being completely consumed by the guilt of being a part of the reason the world had gone to shit. It was as if keeping her alive was the one thing that could redeem him in the end. Two desperate souls that couldn't be together but couldn't be apart either. It was fucking pathetic but it got her through. So she'd take it.

"Laney? Are yo-"

"Don't touch me." Alayne couldn't look at him, instead focusing on a spot on the floor, ignoring the way her vision swam with unshed tears.

She could almost feel him withdrawal his hand from her personal space even though he never touched her. She could hear the squeak of his chair on the floor as he settles back into it. Alayne closes her eyes. She couldn't afford to do this. Not now. She still had a job to do. If she was going to fall apart she could do it later.

"…Laney, please don't do this," His voice was a strained whisper, like a ghost trying to communicate through the void. It made something twist in her chest painfully, "Not them. They don't… Kegan didn't have a damn thin' to do with anythin' that happened. Let ‘em go."

She sets her drink down on the table, it was the first time she set the glass down all night, asides from the two times she had made the bartender refill it. Alayne drops her head into a waiting hand, covering her eyes so she could discreetly wipe the tears away. She was glad that she had decided to forgo wearing any kind of eye make-up tonight; it was always a good idea on nights like this. Not that seeing a woman with smudge make-up was anything anyone paid attention too anymore; likely she was either a prostitute at the end of her shift or mourning another soul that was lost to the endless rain. Arceus, she was so fucking weak for him. "You know if someone else catches up to them, they won't be as kind. You may be condemning them to the same fate as Shelly."

"Yeah, but they at least get a chance if you let ‘em go."

Alayne was quiet for a long time. She hated this part of her job, especially on nights when Trey was with her. She already had to go through this moral dilemma every-fucking-time she caught up to an ex-Aqua member but Trey always added an extra ton of guilt whenever he decided to tag along. One would think that with her kill count these debates would fucking stop, but it felt like they were only getting worse. She could barely even justify to herself anymore that she was merciful compared to most other bounty hunters. Well, she was now. She was a lot more violent when she first started taking revenge on old Aqua members. Now the poisons she used were always fast acting and were so painless that sometimes her targets even smiled at her when their hearts finally stopped. Hell, the fact that she was going so soft was probably part of the reason Trey had decided to show up tonight. He saw who her targets were, and knew he could probably talk her out of this. Bastard.

"I fucking hate you,"

"It’d be easier if you actually did." He uses her own words against her. It was so sudden and out of character that it made Alayne lift her head out of her hand, and actually look at him for the first time that night. Trey was watching her with such sad eyes and a matching smile. Even though she knew she looked as rough as the rest of the patrons in this hole in the wall, he somehow managed to look exactly like he did before the end of days. Complete with that green t-shirt with the kecleon silhouette she bought for him on his last birthday. Looking as if he was unfazed by all the tauroshit around them- unless you were looking at his eyes. They were just as haunted as everyone else’s, only his seemed to corrupt every expression that crossed his face, even his smile. Arceus, what she wouldn't do to make him smile like they used to.

Alayne sighs wistfully and glances over her shoulder. The brunette was sitting alone at the bar. Looks like she had missed her chance. She had been planning on ambushing him in the bathroom, then catching the girl when she came looking for her friend. She stands, noting the way that Trey seemed to jerk like he was going to try to stop her until he noticed that she was already waving him off. She missed her chance, and she was pretty sure that if she killed these two Trey would make himself scarce for a while. She wasn't sure what either one of them would do with the silence. It had gotten so bad last time that they had stopped talking- she really had been close to killing herself before Trey appeared to literally talk her off the edge. She wasn't ready to chase him away again.

Grabbing her glass and her purse, the ex-Magma made her way over to the bar and leans the gap between the seat the blond had been sitting in and the brunette's spot as she waits for the bartender to notice her. She didn't miss the way that the girl angled herself away just slightly or that she was only drinking a soda instead of something a little more… alcoholic. The bartender appears in front of her, and instead of exchanging words, she fishes her wallet out of her bag and passes him her credit card. He nods, shuffling farther down the bar to close out her tab. She takes a sip of the last of her drink as she watches him head to the register. "You two need to get out of here."

The girl next to her startles, turning to actually face Alayne. She was adorable. All freckles, big brown eyes, and a pretty round face that probably lit up a room when she smiled. There was no doubt about it now that she could actually see the girl up close. It was, in fact, Kegan Roth, ex-Aqua grunt, and close friend to Trey. She hadn't been a hundred percent sure that this girl had been Kegan but she had just assumed the moment she laid eyes on Blake, that his companion had been the farm girl. It seemed that once again her instincts had been right on point.

"W-what?"

"You're being hunted. Or at least were, but people will figure out sooner or later that I missed my mark."

The blood drained from the girl's face and Alayne eyes her as Kegan reached for her jacket. She either had a weapon in there or was just going to bolt. Judging by the look of pure terror in her eyes, she was betting on the latter rather than the former. Funny, she had always thought Trey's old friends had more moral than this. Then again, she did have the poor girl cornered, and the gentleman who had probably kept her safe all this time wasn't around to protect her. Although he'd be back soon enough, and she'd rather be gone by that time. She glances up to the mirror behind the bar her subconscious telling her that she was being watched. Trey was still sitting at the table, staring at her, and when he sees her looking waves at her with that same tragic smile.

"Trey says hi, by the way."

This stops Kegan in her tracks. The country girl sits up straighter and twists to look around the bar. She had this look of excitement on her face that made everything in Alayne's chest twist painfully such a way that made her want to drop to her knees and sob. It had been so long since she had seen such pure hope like that. No wonder Trey wanted to protect her. She was so innocent and open. "Trey's here? But I thought he'd-"

"He did." Alayne cuts her off quickly, breaking her gaze from Trey's in the mirror. She closes her eyes and slams back the last of her drink. It burned as it when down, but it chased the taste of acid out of her mouth. The glass hits the counter with more force than she intended, and when she opens her eyes the bartender is standing in front of her with his hand outstretched. Waiting for her to take her card and receipt. Kegan had gone quiet and was bowing her head.

Alayne takes the paper and plastic, shoving it into her pocket. She nods at the bartender and turns her back on the two. "Good luck."

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Blake coming back down the hallway from where the restrooms were. She could feel his eyes on her and even though he moved out of her line of sight, she had no doubt he was already back at Kegan's side- being filled in about the current situation and how their lives were spared mostly on a whim. This would most likely be the last time she would ever see the two. Even if she was instructed to keep them as a bounty Alayne doubted that she would ever chase after them again. Somehow it felt right. Maybe because in a previous life, she had been expecting to be on the run like they were. Although she always expected it to be because Maxie had figured out that she had fallen in love with Trey, and by some twist of fate he had fallen for her too-not because she was at fault for ending the world.

She passes by their table which was empty, minus Trey's untouched beer. Without thinking she reaches out and snags the bottle, bringing it to her lips. It was warm and the taste made her crinkle her nose in disgust but she still drank it. Part of her was expecting the bartender to try to stop her as she pushed open the door to head out into the rain, bottle still in hand, but he didn't. Just another example of how much of a shit people gave now that they realized that the world was on borrowed time. Pausing under the tin awning, Alayne carefully swings her purse around and with her free hand began the dig for her umbrella. Like all necessary things it somehow seemed to have ended up at the very bottom of her bag, regardless of the fact that she had just used it a few hours ago.

‘Thanks.'

The voice was so quiet that there should have been no way that she heard it over the sound of the rain beating on the metal overhead. Then again she guessed that was the upside of having voices in one's head. No matter how softly he spoke, Alayne could always hear him.

For a long time, she's silent, just rummaging through her bag. Finally, she unearths her prize, still damp from her walk to the bar. With the press of a button, the travel umbrella unfolds, snapping into shape with a click that was drowned out by the rain. Alayne shoulders the umbrella, before bringing the bottle back to her lips to finish it off. One day, she probably would be able to enjoy drinking beer but for now, it was just another reminder of the fact that Trey… wasn't actually here anymore. Once the bottle was empty, she set it gently on the edge of the steps before stepping out into the downpour.

"You're welcome."

[xxxdragonfucker69xxx]

nictator white delta

And it came to pass when the children of men had multiplied that in those days were born unto them beautiful daughters. And the watchers, the sons of heaven, saw and lusted after them, and said to one another: Come, let us choose wives from among them and beget children. But Semyaza, who was their leader, said unto them: I fear ye will not indeed agree to do this deed, and I alone shall have to pay the penalty of sin. And they all answered him: Let us all swear an oath, and all bind ourselves by mutual imprecations not to abandon each other. And they were two hundred, who descended in those days on the summit of Mount Hermon, and the mountain was called Cursed, because they had bound themselves upon it. And these were the names of their leaders: Semyaza, Azazel, Yeqon, Gadreel, Penemue, Kasdaye, Araqiel, Armaros, Baraqiel, Ezeqiel, Kokabiel, Sariel, Shamsiel, Ramiel, Asael, Batael, Satariel, Turiel, Jomjael, and Tamiel. These were their chiefs of tens.

You are needed.

Nothing is required of you. There will be no punishment if you refuse. Nobody will descend from on high to rebuke you. Really, nobody is even paying attention. But you are needed.

The war is going badly.

There’s not enough -- not enough anything. Not enough time, energy, patience, people. There should be; maybe there was, at one point. But now? The richest country in the world has people starving in the streets. The sky and sea are turning sour, people are inventing ways to die faster than we can give them reasons to live. We are fighting with a darkness that wants to destroy and devour every thing that lives or loves and the war is going badly.

We can’t beg you to join. We can’t ask that of you, that you compound your own personal struggle against the enemy and take up arms against it on every front. Nobody could possibly do it. But we need you to.

The Watchers are a secret hand in human history. They were at the establishment of Babel and Babylon; they watched the burning of Rome and Alexandria. They have been here since before the Flood.

Every agent of the Watchers can trace their lineage back, master and student, to one of the angels who swore an oath on Mt. Hermon. The angels were ambivalent then, and the Watchers are ambivalent now. Every lineage has, over the millennia, been turned to the service of Hell and redeemed to the work of Heaven countless times. And because no Watcher can be truly sure of another’s allegiance except their own master and student, every lineage is in a cold war with every other. When Enoch wrote, seven lineages had already been extinguished by infighting and other disasters; today, only nine survive.

The celestial Watchers face an insurmountable task. They know that the evil in this world, the despair and destruction and disease and death, is not how the world has to be. They see the hand of the Enemy behind it: something that actively wants pain, something that crouches in darkness and watches us and laughs because our suffering brings it joy. How, they ask, can they know such a thing and not be moved to fight it? Despite the fact that the whole world is arrayed against them, despite the fact that they will probably never see a tangible reward for their work, despite the fact that their methods will probably still damn each of them individually to Hell. The Watchers fight to make the world better, or at least to keep it from getting worse.

The infernal Watchers don’t have it much better, to tell the truth. Sure, they can reap the benefits of being a shadowy organization with millennia of accumulated power. Sure, they are even privy to the world of spirits, behind the curtain. But many of them have bargained with Hell for power or money or sorcerous knowledge, and they live under that shadow day in and day out. Worse, Heaven has not left them. The spirit of angels is in them still, and they must work terribly hard to remain fallen.

They do enjoy some benefits, of course. The lineage of Aretstikapha, occasionally called the “birdwatchers” in reference to Matthew 6:26, has remained neutral for centuries and provides resources and favors to both sides; a Watcher who knows the right people can get just about anything they need. Celestial and infernal Watchers occasionally call on celestial and infernal powers, though exposing yourself to either is the spiritual equivalent of swallowing red-hot uranium. There are other spirits in the world, half-fallen things and elemental beings that were never good or evil to begin with; sorcery is the knowledge of these things and the art of bargaining with them.

Nictator White Delta is an Unterpunk game. There are two new Skills: Humanity, which is a Skill of Tongue, and Sorcery, which is a Skill of Eyes. Sorcery lets you command spiritual powers. The actual work of sorcery is comparable to a mortal agent setting up networks and turning local agents by knowing their leverage. A sorcerer must either establish a pact with a spirit they find or become beholden to a pact someone else has sworn (those who begin play with Sorcery may already be part of one such pact). For example, a sorcerer may have dedicated herself to the North Wind and be able to command storms and blasts of freezing air, in exchange for never going beneath the surface of the earth. Or a sorcerer may know the words of command and rebuke that demons must obey, even when they are sent by higher (or lower) powers. Each such pact comes with a taboo or promise that must be maintained or a sacrifice that must be made to invoke that sorcery, and each pact is a +2 specialization bonus in certain situations (as well as allowing things that would be impossible without sorcery). Humanity is less formal; sometimes, angels or devils will appear to you, and it will be hard to remain human instead of simply becoming what they want you to be. Humanity helps with that, as well as with retaining your sanity when you witness or do terrible things.

Furthermore, each lineage has its own Skill which it specializes in.

Semyaza: Command is a Skill of Tongue, and makes people listen to you.

Azazel: Survival is a Skill of Feet, and helps you live in wild places.

Yeqon: Temptation is a Skill of Tongue, and sends people towards their desires.

Gadreel: Weaponry is a Skill of Hands and covers any premodern weapons, such as swords and knives.

Penemue: Lore is a Skill of Eyes, and covers knowledge of the spiritual world.

Kasdaye: The lineage of Kasdaye specializes in Sorcery, and may take an additional pact at starting.

Araqiel: Connection is a Skill of Tongue, and allows you to grant and call in favors.

Kokabiel: Prediction is a Skill of Eyes, and lets you foresee what is likeliest to happen.

Shamsiel: Guarding is a Skill of Hands, and lets you keep another from harm.

???: It is rumored that a tenth lineage survives. Which Watcher it descends from, and what it specializes in, are unknown.

this is the tatterpig codification of the world of maristela black delta, because ima  fucking goblin who does things like that

in many ways this shares themes with cold war in heaven, its kind of like mortal-level play

did you know theres also a mount hermon in california? thought that was interesting. theres also a couple in other places but the one mentioned in maristela black delta is that one

at some point ill explain the naming conventions but i couldnt find a place to do so here

i originally wrote a d19 game called wizardpunk that was the origin of this form of sorcery but honestly this was the only good thing in that so