#we arent even accomplishing anything

[tidal-chaos]

the online system community sucks so bad lmao

[konniesreality]

smh y’all still over complicating the “void” state? Omg can we stooop. We are too old for this now 😭 can we please stop calling it the “void state”? that’s not even the OG name?? It’s the I AM STATE.

this isn’t some “void motivation 🥺” post or some shi like that it’s a wake up call, cuz oms y’all need it. Neville explained the “void” as a deep meditation that, in his exact words, is a “SURPRISINGLY EASY ACCOMPLISHMENT.” Tbh y’all saw it, when i had this blog up and running when it was at its peak I would post void challenges and everyone else was doing it too. I took a long hiatus bc I was focusing on my own life and the drama around the “vOiD sTaTe” was just too much for me lol

but now im preaching the right thing, the I AM state is literally you simply just:

1. Relaxing

2. Affirming I AM

…that’s literally it?

I feel like it be on y’all’s minds 24/7 like I wake up and I don’t even think ab the i am state I’m literally thinking about brushing my teeth and school and asking my mom if she can take me shopping and about the upcoming football game and what the theme is gonna be likeeee 😭

it’s not even hard to get into? You literally are just relaxing and AFFIRMING, like ya don’t need subliminals (if it helps then sure) ya don’t need a self concept or a “void concept” like wth is that?? Y’all creating your own fandom around a meditation like it literally has names and abbreviations for it?? Like HUUUH.

“I am a master voider” like hello? A baby can literally get into this meditation YALL stop plzzz. Yes you can manifest instantly with it. The reason you don’t hear about the I AM state is cuz not a lot of ppl now about it except tumblr if you think ab it. And I remember when y’all were going crazy about sammy ingram saying y’all were going nuts but NEWS FLASH she was right. like we not gonna keep sugarcoating this and acting all sweet like no.

Also you guys are always being like “But when I affirm and it doesn’t work 🥺” “I don’t feel symptoms” LIKE AHHH? Symptoms??? THE REASON YOU ARENT SO CALLED “ENTERING” is because YOURE FOCUSING TOO HARD!! Like when you’re playing a sport and you’re tryna get a goal or something and you’re saying “don’t mess up” over and over again and then you mess up. Yep you just let ya team down!! I did that in volleyball and figure skating and guess what I MESSED UP. LIKE?? Can we use logic plz?

it’s a meditation. It’s a meditative state. You don’t need subliminals. You don’t need challenges. You don’t need a 10k affirmation challenge. You don’t need ANYTHING. so please shut up and go meditate. You can do it right now, tomorrow, in a month, before you fall asleep bc your subconscious is open to suggestion, idc.

[bomikalover]

Did my yearly rewatch of Austin and Ally (all 4 seasons) and now I’m hyper fixated on it. So I decided to yap my head off on here so if you don’t care for anything A&A specific then just scroll and enjoy my other posts or edits of the stuff you do like 🫶🏾

Anywaysss, why I’m here.

AUSTIN AND ALLY’S PARENTS ARENT GOOD PARENTS!!

There i said it.

The only one I give slack is Ally’s mom as she mostly lives in Africa for work (I think?? I kinda black out the parents storyline since I’m here for any else but the parents) plus she wrote a book and when she was in Miami with Ally she spent all her time WITH HER DAUGHTER. She gave advice, presents, and even gave her an opportunity to sing at her event which was the event she overcame her greatest fear. She was polite and sweet to all the kids, put effort to talking to them, and getting to known them. We’ve seen her for maybe 2-3 episodes TOPS in the whole show but I never disliked her. Do I think she could have had a talk with her ex-husband and made him work at his own business?? Yes but they spilt for a reason and maybe she was just already mentally clocked out of anything dealing with him…cuz I know I am.

Her dad on the other hand I majorly dislike. He opened a business just to leave in the hands of his only daughter between ages 14-18 while she was already occupied with school and then her career as an artist. Plus she had friends and a young life that she wanted to live. Fortunately Ally was lucky her 3 friends stuck around all day in Sonic Boom helping out and hanging there instead of completely leaving Ally out since she was constantly busy with work.

He was also extremely cheap. Like being cheap with urself is fine but with ur daughter is a whole nother thing. Like when he gave her emergency funds for when she went to go on tour with Austin and she actually needed it as she was stranded in an unknown state. Just to find out that her dad only gave her $6 and an expired coupon. She once again was on her own and performed for her own well-being.

And he was also unsupportive of Ally sometimes. Like in the first episode when he said that she had one in a billion chance of making it into the music industry. (Austin’s dad said that as well, but we’ll get to him later) WHAT?! Is it so hard to be supportive of ur daughter. (He does support her in future episodes but for me it’s says a lot that the first impression we get of her father is that he’s unsupportive and only wants her to run the family store)

Speaking of no support and forcing their child to follow their footsteps…Mike and Mimi Moon.

They also came out the bat being unsupportive but seemed to care enough to not force Austin to work at the Mattress Kingdom. But they heavily offered the job every time something went slightly off course with Austin’s Career. (Him getting vocal nodes or when he chose loving Ally over his career that he’s been passionately working on for years)

Both of A&A’s parents were just letting their kids travel by themselves or go on tour by themselves. (It’s EXTREMELY common for parents to be MIA in kids tv but these rubbed me the wrong way) like we rarely saw Mr.Dawson at Ally’s performances Vice versa with Austin and his parents. It took Austin having to go the doctors or Ally moving away super far to accomplish her goals to get their attention.

I’m not surprised Auslly has such a strong unbreakable bond when they’re two only children with neglectful parents who are unsupportive of their dreams. They have no one to relate to and share the passion with beside each other. They both have best friends that have been in their lives YEARS before each other yet Auslly talk of each other as if that’s all they have is each other. (Side note: the way Auslly write their songs make me question how much stuff they truly went through together. Like “You can come to me” lyrics are so sweet and intimate but also so deep but it’s extremely evident that they are singing these lyrics to each other and only each other. Like they surpassed hurdles that Dez and Trish weren’t there to surpass with them. I wonder how much of Auslly we haven’t seen and will never see.)

Dez and Trish aren’t only children like Austin & Ally. Dez has a (older?) sister and Trish has a little brother. Both their families seemed extremely happy, loving, and outwardly supportive of them…I can’t say the same for Austin and Ally.

I could go on and on about this topic alone but I’ll spare your eyes from all the reading and stop yapping. But I’ll gladly talk about all my other thoughts about certain A&A things. Like the Auslly dynamic in a whole, why Austin’s passion for music is so strong, or even why Trish can’t keep a job.

But that’s a yapper-sation for another time.

[definitelynotshouting]

Okay, so, question I've had for a while but never got around to asking, what the FUCK is up with Grian's wings?

If all physical differences in players (like those particularly ascribed to 'Hybrids' in mcyt fanon) in Hunger AU are a result of conscious altering of your own code for the express purpose of achieving YOUR IDEAL BODY(tm) then what does that mean for Grian and his wings? No one seems to regard Grian's wings as "What The Fuck, You Can DO That?!?" so presumably wings aren't so big of a change from normal biology that players can't do that. If so, why is it not more common? Man, if I could have wings I'd jump on that in seconds. Especially with the sheer utility the ability to fucking FLY gives players. Are wings (and maybe other larger alterations) just like, REALLY HARD to code in? If so, that might add a really cool layer of "Oh wow! They must be a really good coder!" to players who meet people like that.

On a related note, Grian seems to have a positive regard for his wings, which is interesting because I would be willing to bet he didn't have that before *insert sounds of worm-bursting and non-consensual body modification*. I imagine seeing his wings would likely feel like a reminder of the Watchers and what they did to him. BUT, Watchers manipulate their own code when they change like Grian did to, y'know, not be a worm anymore so Grian probably specifically chose how he looked, right? So, unless he did so really rushed and somehow made a mistake while doing so (which he might not be able to risk the structural damage of correcting), keeping the wings was a conscious decision. Does Grian just not associate his wings with the Watchers or is it something else? Does he just really enjoy having wings?

HELLO I AM SO GLAD YOU'VE ASKED THIS BECAUSE I HAVE ‼️‼️‼️‼️ MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT IT ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

Okay okay so these are all SUCH valid questions, lemme go through them one by one. Wings are indeed something anyone could have if they wanted to code them in-- and in fact, i do believe many other Players have wings throughout the universe!!! As far as body mods go, i like to think of them as decently popular, so its definitely not anything too weird to see. In chapter 5, i even make a mention to Pearl having moth wings she occasionally codes in due to preference!!! So wings of many different types are definitely available-- but the catch is that they're real fiddly to code. You cant just give yourself wings, you have to code in the bone structure, the muscles, the tendons, etc etc, and then you have to change your entire body structure as well to work with and fully support them. They can be awkward and unwieldy, as ive tried to show in the fic itself, and i think that alone can be a big discouragement for Players considering coding in wings, along with the sheer coding effort needed to obtain them and make them functional

And the thing is, elytra already exist-- they're far more compact, they dont take up as much space, you can take them on and off super easily without having to mess with your coding, and they basically do the same thing. Sure, its a pain to get one, but a lot of Players really enjoy the sense of accomplishment, and i think theres a bit of cultural prestige too in that regard. Server milestones are a huge thing in Player culture, and getting your first pair of elytra is a big one!!! So it makes sense to me that people who just dont want to go through the effort of coding in wings (which can then in turn complicate how they code other future modifications) primarily stick to elytra.

And everybody is different-- some people prefer attributes that arent wings. I like to think everyone in hermitcraft generally is a mix of "jeez thats effort, i could be building my base instead of doing that" and "eh im fine how i am, i like it" and "well we have elytra shops everywhere so why bother".

So in short, yeah!! Wings are a bit complex to code in. They're still pretty popular, i think plenty of Players do choose to incorporate them, but it takes a lot of hard and thorough work to make sure they function right and wont bug you out when you use them. There are billions of Players scattered across the universe, so what you're seeing in the fic right now is truly just a drop in the ocean when it comes to Player body diversity :] and then, elytra basically already help Players achieve a form of flight without the hassle of recoding their entire body structure, so i think the majority of Players just prefer to use them instead.

AS FOR GRIAN'S WINGS IN PARTICULAR......

Well..... its complicated. Particularly his feelings about them-- in the fic, i referenced them as the only good thing the Watchers ever gave him, and thats how he sees it, i think: a thin silver lining. He's had many, many years to get used to them, and i think he goes through periods where he hates them and the memories attached, too. Ultimately, he's kinda stuck with them, so i think he hit a form of acceptance (as bitter-tinged as it may be) out of sheer necessity for his own sanity.

As for why he has them, and hasnt coded them out: i think of it as a particular quirk of biology/structural coding. Watchers have a more instinctive way of coding than Players, but a Player-minded Watcher is still going to think like a Player, and thats going to muddle things a lot. Grian essentially had to relearn how to code, in a way that satisfied both Player and Watcher-style coding, and the results at first were.... a little rough around the edges. Once he managed to finally take on his original former appearance, the wings from his true form just kind of.... stuck. I like to think it took a few increasingly desperate tries before he realized he just could not figure out how to get rid of them (bc of how different his new code was), and had to accept that this was just how he was gonna have to live for a while until he finally figured it out. And then, well.... you can get used to anything, if you're stuck with it long enough. I think after a while it just stopped being a huge priority, and then he reached a point where it would be more awkward to live without them than with them, and he eventually dropped the idea altogether. And i think sometimes, they function almost like a scar, to him-- a reminder of what he went through, yes, but a reminder that he did manage to escape. And, ofc, he also just really, really likes flying skdjskdjdj

So yeah, loads of complicated feelings there about his wings, and its stuff i do plan on exploring later in the fic!!! This got a little rambly, but i hope this makes sense and answers your questions!!!! :D its a fun little complicated knot that im glad someone has gotten curious enough to ask about!!!!

[landos-meat-rider]

mastermind, part eleven

we’re so back,

last gcse on friday AND bridgerton AND euros???😟😟 getting spoiled stoppp😍😍

goodness gracious im so sick and tired of this exam rubbish gosh i cant wait to be done😫😫,

anyways if you’re reading this rn im eternally grateful to you bc the way i wouldve left if i was you…

no but seriously i love you guys so so much😕😕, this is a very short one (apologies) bc its the first time ive written since like last year (we’re ignoring that) and i really hope you enjoy the scraps ive put together while on no sleep for the past 72 hours. as a result (look at me using exam terminology in my day to day life😋) there may be some typos or like whole sections that arent meant to be there so very sorry for that, i think it should be fine though

anyways have a great day/night, pls pls pls lmk what you think of it and PLEASE send me requests for absolutely anything🙏🙏🙏

warnings: none i think!!

masterlist

theodore nott masterlist

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“Here,” Theo hands me a sandwich he had managed to make with the little supplies we had left, “You need to eat something.”

I absent-mindedly take the plate from him and take a bite as he sits besides me on the tattered sofa and grabs the radio on the table, fiddling around with it.

“They’ll be okay darling,” he reassures for the millionth time, switching between stations, “I promise.”

I look to him with glassy eyes and lean my head on his shoulder as he kisses the top of my head.

He finally finds the right channel and holds my hand as I continue to eat the sandwich. We listen out for any news of our families or Harry, Ron and Hermione.

Theo and I had been moving around, camping here and there for a few months now. Lord knows where the other three had gotten to. Looking for them would be foolish and most likely unfruitful under these circumstances. Theo had been comforting me and making sure I sustained myself this whole time, I don’t really know what I’d’ve done without him.

“Theo, can I ask you something out of the blue?” I asked him as he lifted a cup of tea to his lips, raising his eyebrows and humming, “Do you still love me?” I questioned in a way that wasn’t accusatory, but rather of wonder.

His eyes glassed over slightly as he put his cup away and looked to me with a confused- almost offended expression. “Why would you ask that?”

“I don’t know we just haven’t been this close and alone since.. The Yule Ball and I wasn’t sure where we stood.” I shrugged, trying to read his thoughts.

“Tesoro,” he started “I look for you in every crowd, I search for your eyes in the nature around me. I savour and stretch any moment we have together. I endlessly shame myself for leaving you  that day, but it was a necessary evil. I couldn’t let you get hurt. Not even a little bit. I lett you patch me up after fights even when I don’t like people helping me. I talk to you about my mother and father and I take delight in all your accomplishments. I love the way you talk to me, I love the way you are and I am eternally grateful that you’ve forgiven me somehow.”

I look at him with teary eyes and big smile on my face as he recisprocates and grabs my face in his warm hands smiling at me, “Doubt whether stars are fire; or the sun moves across the sky; or truth itself be a liar; but never doubt whether I love you.”

I kiss him softly.

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“Hey I wanted to ask you,” I began as the smooth chatter of the radio fades into the background and he looks at me with his blue eyes, “Do you think we should go back to Grimmauld place? I mean it’d be a lot safer than us being in the middle of fucking nowhere, we’d be able to see everyone else and we’re running out of supplies anyways.”

Just as Theo opened his mouth to respond, a letter flew into the tent in front of us as Theo and I instinctively grabbed our wands before seeing the parchment.

Theo gives me a confused look as I say, “Who’d know we were here?” and grabs the envelope.

He opens it cautiously as I keep my wand pointed at it, just in case, and starts to read the contents aloud.

“Dearest Y/n, it pains me to have to invite you to this bloodbath or anywhere near it but I am doing so with The Order’s direct command. We are all either stationed or arriving to Hogwarts for the upcoming battle, you and Theodore should get here as soon as possible, and please darling at least for my sake, try and keep out of danger. I cannot say much at this point but you must get here quickly. Come to your common room and when you arrive, I’ll be there. Yours, Sirius.”

Theo and I stand in silence for a few minutes, rereading the letter again and again until Theo backs away and starts preparing a bag big enough for one. I break out of my gaze and collect some of my things I need to bring and pass them to Theo to put in the bag but all he does is give me a look of confusion.

“What’s this for?”

“My things?”

Something crosses Theo’s face before he hides it with a blank look, he returns to his packing and clears his throat before saying, “No, you need to stay here.”

“What?” I say, astounded at his words, “What do you mean stay here?! I’m coming with you, Sirius told both of us to come.”

He abruptly stopped packing and sighed, giving me a look of desperation and exhaustion. “Listen to me,” he begged, stepping closer and taking my hands in his slightly shaky ones, “You need to stay here. You’ve already been though too much and if Bellatrix sees you I have no idea what she’ll do but I will not risk your safety. Not ever. So please darling, please listen to me for once and stay here.”

“Theo that’s so unreasonable, what if I’m in-”

“If you are in danger,” he breaks me off “Go to Grimmauld Place and send me a patronus immediately. If you come to Hogwarts with me, I’d be worrying about you the entire time anyways, and you’d be targeted along with Harry.”

“What if you get hurt?” I ask, shoving my thoughts aside for a moment, lowering my voice at the thought.

He pauses, staring at my eyes, his swimming in hesitancy, “Darling I’d rather it be me than you.”

“Theo-” he kisses me suddenly before I can protest, he runs his hands though my hair and the other on the small of my back. He kisses me for the first time, and he kisses me as though its our last. 

He breaks away and looks at me with teary eyes,

“Sei il mio cuore, la mia vita, il mio unico e solo pensiero.”

You are my heart, my life, my one and only thought.

He looks lovingly into my eyes as though trying to memorise every detail about me before rolling is eyes, sighing and blinking tears away as he smiles and looks to the ceiling before bringing me to his chest and saying, “I know you.”

I look up at him with confusion as he holds me in his arms, his hands on either side of my waist as he looks down at me, “I know you, and I know that you’re going to come to Hogwarts anyway. No matter what I say.”

He smiles at me sadly as I snicker in his chest amongst tears, “But I swear if you hurt yourself,” he warns, resting his chin on the top of my head.

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LOLL that was so shit im so sorry...

anyways im so happy i FINALLY got this out like omggg it had been a MINUTE...

pls lmk what you thought and pls send me requests on what else to do‼️‼️‼️

[omegalomania]

the thing that truly Truly unhinges me about infinity on high is that it is not simply an album about the horrible stomach-wrenching rollercoaster of fame and it is not solely an album about wrestling with your demons but it is a marriage of those two it is very much about fighting the worst parts of yourself in the most public avenues available. it's an album that all but rattles with the amount of references there are to medication. every seeming bout of narcissism is undercut with a sardonic twist and the snap of subtle self-loathing brimming beneath.

and the worst part of it is how that isn't even the worst part of it. the worst part of it for me is the fear. the fear of becoming something other than what you are. the fear of getting better. because this is how the world likes you - broken and stripped down to your ugly parts and embittered and exposed. this is how the world wants you, consumes you, because it's in your brokenness that they pick out such pretty patterns like finding rainbows in shards of glass. it's your wrecked-up brain with all its sporadic misfirings that draws everyone to you like moths to a faulty porchlight. i only keep myself this sick in the head 'cause i know how the words get you off. infinity on high. van gogh, the poster child for the ethos of creating something even at your lowest points. the poster child for the speculative, horrifying ethos of how your flaws and faults and fuck-ups are the only things worth keeping. how often have we seen that rhetoric. if van gogh wasn't depressed, we wouldn't have gotten starry night.

on september 15th 2006 at 9:08pm est pete wentz answered a fan question about what accomplishment of his he is proudest of.

I don’t really think about success or accomplishments too often. I guess just being around. Letting myself move past who I used to be- because that person was continually unhappy. Or at least trying to get to that point and not feel like im “changing for the worse” just because im letting myself feel ok. 10 years ago I didn’t listen to anything anyone said ever for the most part.

on september 18th 2006 at 2:36am est pete wentz wrote on one of his blogs how infinity on high was beginning to feel like a "nocturnal record" as it began to take shape.

somehow the things we say mean more in corners of dancefloors and we focus on love below the waist and outside of the head. "dont you want to get better"- i just dont want you to worry. "dont you want to get better" - tonight i do. the way they say "youre committing slow suicide" when someone lights up or cuts loose. but arent we all. everything we do just shortens our life, every breath is one less. but its what makes everything so treasured. in my head. it aint a funeral babe, i just want the headline to die. recovery is the new drug.

it hurts sometimes thinking about who he was in that moment. someone so fucking scared of getting better and desperate to get better, committing every flaw and insecurity he had to paper and trying to make art out of how desperately he fucking hated himself. as if his pain was the only compelling thing about him.

that's what kills me about this record. truly. it's not just about the perils and pitfalls of fame and renown. it's about how it feels, really feels, to think that your fame is reliant on you fucking hating yourself and how that is killing you.

and yet. infinity on high. a title taken from words written in 1888, from van gogh to his brother, as he talks about how his improving health has had a positive effect on his art.

Be clearly aware of the stars and infinity on high. Then life seems almost enchanted after all.

van gogh did not give us starry night because he was depressed and suicidal and falling apart. van gogh did not make incredible works of art because of how much he was suffering. van gogh created in spite of that, because he had a brother who loved him and reasons to keep going.

pete wentz did not write some of his best lyrics on infinity on high because he was depressed and suicidal and falling apart. he wrote them in spite of that, because he had people in his life who loved him and over 15 years later he is still alive, he has 3 kids, he has his band who have been together for over 20 years and still love making music together, and at least externally, he no longer feels the need to self-immolate so the onlookers can make pretty patterns from the ashes left over.

[real-total-drama-takes]

top 10 reasons why i think julia should be a pre-merge boot next season

⚠️warning: some may find the following content disturbing. julia fans' discretion is advised

it'd piss off her fans

she's overused her potential and hogged a lot of unnecessary screentime. her schtick as a villain is extremely overpraised especially when the main twist in ep 6 that marked her first significant accomplishment didnt even make sense. you're telling me that somehow, from hearing someone say one single word, she went through all the possibilities (including overhearing a confessional from the outside) and concluded that someone was downloading the confessionals?? despite no one knowing about mk's geek persona in addition to it never having been accomplished in the history of the show before? really? they could've at least had more interesting buildup to that twist, and have julia's "clues" actually have substance because otherwise the writing was very flimsy

she's not that complex of a character canonically. it may be difficult to hear but it's objectively true

it'd piss off her fans

her villain persona is just straight up being a bully about things that arent related to the game at all. it's laughable that people call her heather 2.0 when heather certainly had a personality past being an asshole and nothing else. "but we need more mean women in media!" julia fans also hate MK and millie for that exact reason! be consistent about it.

the pre-merge boot order this season was nasty. every single pre-merge boot had potential, even more so than julia (whose personality could immediately be guessed the moment her design was released. whoop-de-doo!)... i'd like more time for dynamic characters next season and not static ones.

julia's twist was very predictable. her entire character is predictable. she's the character everyone thinks they relate to while in reality they're more of a millie. but who's surprised that people prefer the skinny white tiktok girl over the most realistically written character in the show

with all her canon screentime in the show, she's developed very little. i think it's unfair to have her be a screen hog a second season in a row when she already had her time to shine and hardly did anything unique with it. we finally get the most diverse cast this show has seen and yet everyone wants more of the most boring type of character we've already seen in 700 other shows

seriously i don't get why people think she's all that. just step outside for a moment and you'll find an entire sea of people who are exactly like her, in both appearance and personality. calling her the best villain in the history of td is ridiculous and laughable and even mal was more entertaining for me to watch. at least he was funny

it'd piss off her fans

thanks for watching! please hit that like button and subscribe for more aaawesome content💯🔥💪

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[osomatsuconfessions]

other mod that just woke up--extremely sorry to anyone who had to read that fatphobic confession (which i have now deleted), i think even with the addition of comments about how what was said wasnt right that it should not have been posted. people shouldnt be exposed to hate like that unnecessarily when it could have just been deleted off the bat. a person going into an anonymous confession blog to say things like that isnt going to change because one mod lectured them. we arent going to post anything like that ever again nor anything else related to it Now in the askbox because dwelling and spiraling on everything that was said is exactly what the confession was trying to accomplish. once again, i am so sorry and next time Both mods will be consulted when anything similarly offensive lands in the ask box. thanks.

[ohbo-ohno]

How do you write fanfiction without going ooc?

Personally I think you're the best cod writer, I'm considering writing some fan fiction but I'm scared the characters arent in character

"best cod writer"??? when i haven't posted in like a month?? oh babe we are getting MARRIED ilysm thank you <3

im actually like fucking terrible at giving advice (i am not a well spoken person lmao) but i can talk At you for a bit about this!!!

grasping a character's voice is actually like. deeply difficult, and it's maaaaybe the thing i struggle with most when writing (or at least one of the things lmao). especially bc literally every single writer has a different voice for every character, so you have to find what works best for your story and your style. your ghost shouldn't look/sound exactly like someone else's ghost, because he's yours, yk?

that also being said - things that are ooc to me aren't necessarily ooc to someone else. the ghost in my mind would never let you call him a cheesy pet name like "sisi", but that doesn't mean that someone else's ghost wouldn't, yk? and to them, they're in character! so you've kinda got to decide what you think being in character is, if that makes any sense

i read a looooot of fanfiction before i started writing my own cod stuff. i've only watched the full campaign once, but i've read what's probably dozens of fics lmao - my ghost and soap are an amalgamation of the things i enjoyed most in other people's fics. think about the things that you love the most in your favorite fics, and see if you can replicate that tone/vibe

i also think that getting a character's Voice is a lot more than just dialogue. i write in either second person or third person limited, but for the sake of this i'll talk a bit about third person limited

if i'm writing smth like i'll eat you whole, im technically writing from johnny's perspective, right? so i don't write his internal monologue in his accent, but i do use certain adjective he would - like instead of describing ghost as "broad" or "hulking", i said he's "a big motherfucker" bc that's how i think johnny would talk. this doesn't matter nearly as much with second person, but letting johnny's voice float into the internal monologue helps keep me in the right headspace for the fic. it's easier for me to maintain his voice if i never really let it go, yknow what i mean?

also i know this sounds sooo stupid but i think a big part of writing in character is literally just thinking "can i see them saying this? would a person like this do this?"

like. okay. ghost is a 6'4 special forces lieutenant who is willing to do literally anything if it means completing his mission. he's a big man with an even bigger reputation. can you see him begging for your forgiveness at the slightest argument? can you see him stuttering on a first date?

and soap is an incredibly accomplished sergeant who's set records in the military, he's a demolitions expert and a skilled sniper with a hell of a temper. can you see him giggling? can you see him crying when his girlfriend is mad at him?

sometimes making sure you're not writing ooc is as simple as "They Would Not Fucking Say That", and as unhelpful as it is, that's literally just based on vibes

is any of that coherent at all?? i genuinely don't know. hope i didn't make things worse! ily!

(also just as general writing advice - practice!!! don't post everything you write!! i cannot tell you how many things i've written will never see the light of day, but all my little failures in writing have given me a better grasp on the characters, yk? you have to do badly and recognize what's bad before you can be super happy with your writing. write something and then focus on exactly what feels off to you, and change only that. idk. maybe im spouting bullshit)

[b4n3n4]

i find hard to understand people who feel happy by accomplishing goals in itself, for me happiness isnt material or goal oriented in the normal sense, i do not understand the feeling of happiness that comes with having a high paying job, goals for college or any type of future plan.

For me the only thing that matters is the emotions, i had a hard time in highschool with some philosophy topics because of this, although i did well in them it took a lot of mental training to see things a specific way, to me personally theories although interesting in the boring world mean absolutely nothing, all man made concepts and even tho i can defend a point of view over others, it does not truly represent how i feel

Had a huge discussion with both of my exs, mostly the reason i drop all my philosophy ideology on tumblr and don't discuss it, i do not agree with skeptics or rationalists or empirics for example, yes i do think knowledge is impossibly but not because it is impossible to get, but because it truly is just a concept, skeptics argue knowledge would be something that can exist but we cant get to it, i find that stupid, everything is just man made concepts, stupidity.

Why care for anything besides happiness, i do not understand nihilism either as it expresses a fallacy in my opinion, If you truly don't care, why care to be negative? just be neutral

personally happiness makes me a little bit less worried about my existence so my whole life goal is just simply the concept of happiness, therefore i think i follow existentialism, there is nothing to life but i shall make a goal i see fit out of it.

I still cant fully make myself believe in concepts, like political views, debates on science or moral as i see that as complete man made bullshit but i still write about it or research as its interesting.

Its like crochetting something you know you wont use, maybe its just something to do in free time since we unfortunately arent animals, so therefore we need entertainment for our brains to keep working, its useless, but it's fun, that's life

[prettyboykatsuki]

Do you have any tips on how to like. Manage insecurity lol

im told i have a pessimistic way of handling this specific thing so take this advice with a grain of salt but i break like all inner issues down into two parts. the practical application and theory

the practical application for managing insecurity is that theres only two states for that thing. can be changed and can’t be changed. if something can’t be changed than worrying is a waste of time. if it can then i can work to change it, then the question is, is it worth it? as in, does making this change serve me as a person or improve my quality of life and am i doing it for the right reason?

the second and more important imo is the theory of insecurity which is why told im kinda pessimistic shfjsnf

but my mindset is basically 1. there’s nothing self-righteous about your misery and 2. thinking you are by some measure uniquely awful is also a complex of thinking you are special.

insecurity is a really insidious things because it places importance on very arbitrary things. and its made so big by social media. you should care about the opinions of people who are important to you and who love you but strangers are just strangers. and people who don’t know you intimately cant make full enough judgements of what makes you good or bad

but ultimately i think of my own self hatred as kind of lame and thats why i dont sink to deep into it anymore. my insecurity is not accurate measure of who am i in the same way my accomplishments aren’t. im not a uniquely evil monster just like im not a heavenly saint

my bodies shaped like that because bodies look like that. my teeth are yellow because sometimes they stain. im annoying sometimes and sometimes im inconsiderate and i isolate often. these are qualities about me i dislike and can feel insecure about but they’re not some machiavellian, radical evil. just like my good traits arent some inherent divine goodness

insecurities are reflections of the world around us and the people we encounter. your insecurities don’t show up out of thin air. they’re brought and imposed upon you through a long life and its normal to have them and working through them is a life long process

but the reason ive gradually become less insecure is because having this intense fixation on my flaws was honestly a massive waste of my time lmao. my miserable and pitiful outbursts were eating away at my long and beautiful life. if i spent even half of the time i did as a young kid worrying about my appearance on literally anything else i might’ve been the next frank ocean. my suffering wasn’t righteous. it didn’t make me special or cool or interesting.

be cringe and weird. be ugly and outdated. be gross and sad. what do you want to see when you look back at your life? beautiful misery or ugly and unkempt joy? its not a fix but it helped me a lot to think that way even if its morbid or pessimistic.

when im insecure the little voice in my head goes “but does it matter?” because i taught to do that. it usually doesn’t matter because a lot if it’s arbitrary. thats my two cents

[thedomesticanthropologist]

Hey Anthie, this question is kind of weird/complicated but I'll try my best to ask. It has to do with recovering from your past habits but I think it could also relate to general stress and handling difficult emotions and experiences (which would include addiction of course but sometimes like... just life too, I guess?)

Anyway, I wanted to hear how fiction helped you or currently helps you? For example I've seen people say that writing "helps" them but when I'm struggling I don't inspired to write, I feel terribly drained, and I'm also a perfectionist. I find it hard to relate to people who transform their pain into art. And I don't have any close friends in the same fandoms like I did when I was a teen so I don't have that sense of community where people encourage me to work on writing and I encourage them to work on their art/writing/etc.

I'm also not sure if it's good to entertain myself even though that might sound weird? Like I'll read, because... it's a thing I can do. And yeah, I enjoy it and have them. But I don't know if it's really aiding in "fixing" myself, and sometimes when I'm reading something, I start worrying that I'm wasting my time somehow? (I made reading more one of my goals for this year, because I went for literal years without reading for enjoyment, and thought my adult ADHD was going to make it impossible for me to ever read again, but now that I'm actually doing it, I don't know how much of an accomplishment it actually is)

Just wanted to hear if any of this ever felt relatable to you, and how you overcame it if so? Thank you and hope you continue to do great with everything, I wish you the best!

This took me a while to get to! thank you for your patience. I tried to narrow your questions down a bit so I hope this is around and about what you were wanting. Under the cut cause its long

How does fiction help with recovering from past habits, handling stress, and difficult emotions and experiences?

Fiction is a way to express yourself without making it about you specifically. You can create situations and put characters through The Horrors, or The Softness, and many writers find catharsis in the act. It can also help your brain process things, and be an outlet for all the feelings and thoughts inside. For me personally, I use fiction to explore thoughts, feelings, ideas, as well as to project or express parts of myself- Im also attracted to writing about things and people I DONT relate to, as a way of learning about them, exploring them, etc. Writing an addict as an addict can be a neat way to look at my issues through a new set of eyes, even if the addict character isn't anything like me, doesn't act the same or process the same, etc.

Can engaging in creative activities like writing be helpful, even if it doesn't feel inspiring during tough times?

Science has proven that writing down your thoughts helps your brain process them, just simply the act of translating from mind to page has benefits. Having it make sense is not as important as just simply... getting it out. Entertaining YOURSELF should always be the first priority in creating art and writing, because if we do it for others, then we are setting ourselves up for disappointment

Is it okay to entertain oneself with activities like reading during difficult times, even if it feels like it might be wasting time?

Doing things for yourself is always okay. It is never a waste of time to take care of yourself. Some people say things like "you don't always have to be productive in order to have your activities be valid" but Id go so far as to say that engaging in reading, writing, drawing, and other "self-indulgent" experiences IS being productive. its being productive for YOU. You arent something that needs to be fixed, you are someone that needs to be accepted. Recovering from self shame starts with being willing to look at yourself not as a problem, but as a person. And the things that make you feel good, regardless of whose watching or who OUTSIDE yourself benefits are worthy persuits

How can one overcome feelings of isolation and lack of community when engaging in creative pursuits?

So I kind of segued into this a little, and I just want to expand a bit. I looked this up and its pretty close to what I wanted to say so Ill share

"Focusing on your own fulfillment and growth in your creative pursuits can be empowering. Prioritize your passion and intrinsic motivation rather than seeking external validation or connection. Set meaningful goals, establish a regular routine, and celebrate your progress along the way. Embrace your creativity as a form of self-expression and personal fulfillment, nurturing your artistic voice and finding joy in the process."

This may be like, hey! I said I wanted community! but honestly, seeking out community and connection can *scare us away from trying* sometimes. Theres all these rules we put on ourselves about not being good enough, or not having friends who have the same interests, not being noticed or validated when we display our work, not having people to talk about. All of that is absolutely valid but it really gets in the way of the creative process and who we are really doing it for (us)

Community tends to appear when you start to share. Considering it a bonus instead of the focus is just a shift in perspective rather than a shift in action. Finding online communities that are related to the work you are producing and sharing what you have is great! starting conversations and new connections is great! but seeking external validation means that you can get absolutely destroyed if you share something you're proud of and no one really notices it. Its so much better to enjoy what you've created, and just put it out there with the thought that if its noticed great! but the best thing was that it was something you enjoyed making.

[murillo-enthusiast]

Jean Lannes: COMMISSERATIONS ON LOSING THE TOURNOI D'HOMMES SEXY

... Did you have to come all the way over here to yell that in my ear?

Jean Lannes: OUI

Well, I assure you, I am not particularly upset at this turn of events. My sincere congratulations to Madame Zofia Czartoryska-Zamoyska for winning this round, and may you win against Monsieur von Humboldt. Now is there anything else?

Jean Lannes: Just some paperwork i left with your adcs and scheudling an appointment to talk about wher the fuck marbot is but other than that non i just wanted to reassure you that you arent sexy Dalmatia!

... You have accomplished all of those goals and more. Adieu, duc de Montebello.

Petiet: I really thought he had a chance..! Bory: Everyone can appreciate a beautiful flower, but we may take solace in that even those who do not bloom have their devotees. Non flowering plants are in fact quite important to the biodiversity of- Saint-Chamans: I still think we should have been in the tournament. Lameth: That simply wouldn't have been fair to our opponents~ Brun: I'll inform Madame la Maréchale.

[phoenix-is-the-hottest-thing]

dont mind me just ranting a little. i really hate the fact that honkai players in youtube comments always acts like they know the lore when their statement and argument is baseless speculation with no source whatsoever "we dont have enough information" "i think" when said info is available and straight up told in main story available on global. not to mention how the community LOVES to exaggerate how "depressing" honkai is like they have never seen an actually tragic and depressing death. constantly going "oh noooo character A is going to die 😭😭😭" when it will literally ruin their whole character arc. no seriously honkai story is wholesome compared to many stories with heavy themes. all deaths have meaning or are painted in a thick rose colored glass, the theme of the story is heartwarming (fight for all that is beautiful in the world) and they arent even in a post apocalyptic world setting. the honkai community seriously lacks people who openly critique the story writting with most overglorifying its writting.

:’)

I think it’s because Honkai got dark and then got lighter, but people didn’t really update their mental image to fit the lighter part of the story?

and now people have said it’s dark so much but it outright REFUSES to be dark anymore.

Aponia was nothing but simpery and good intentions, Kevin refuses to even consider killing Hua, Theresa is safe and sound and asleep away from the plot, the sims died and left Mei “fulfilled” rather than sad, nobody is mad at her for colluding with the enemy either…

I’m not mad that good things happen, but I like it when I think things might turn bad, too. I loved the darkness of the deaths in EE— it’s just that the ending basically makes them pointless, erasing the darkness with the rose tinted glasses. Honestly if they’d been just a little less intense on the Mary Sue Elysia they would’ve had me with a favorite chapter. It was dark and then it had a lighter twist and a kinder ending— much like Shattered Samsara, but it just doesn’t work at all for me.

Weird isn’t it? Shattered Samsara’s my favorite animation, too. What did they get wrong?

I think, in great part, Shattered Samsara was great because we were used to horrible outcomes and we were surprised by a good one. There’s pleading and emotional tension and the kinder ending is earned by Kiana struggling through pain and acknowledging all of it, all the darkness, and she’ll help Hua carry that burden. It’s cathartic, it’s awesome, and heartwarming, and until she decides that NO she won’t accept the sacrifice you don’t quite know Hua will survive this. (midway through).

Everlasting Flames and Because of You both have a fakeout loss that don’t hold up two seconds— there’s no tension because we know they win. Narratively there’s no doubt that they’re gonna win. If they lost, it would’ve subverted our expectations, but Mihoyo refuses to let them lose anything, especially Everlasting Flames. For Kiana this still works because it’s her apogee, her triumphant moment; a surprise would have meant the story has another twist coming, so it’s… fine. Good, just not as emotionally intense due to predictability. It’s good.

For Elysia… the exact outcome was more uncertain, but the surprise would have been that someone survives. They announced the deaths and then they died. Either no tension or disappointment. It’s the third animation in a row I was getting bored by, and it’s a treat for the eyes but not narratively significant in any way.

Everlasting Flames is a triumph; its narrative consequence is showcasing Kiana’s final push of growth into a realized individual.

Thus Spoke Apocalypse is a bittersweet epitaph for a man who announced that he’d die to accomplish his goal, and did. It isn’t necessarily all that interesting (it wasn’t to me, I skipped through) but it’s got the narrative significance of giving him the ending he has strived for all this time. It’s a reward for Otto just as much as it’s his funeral.

Because of You…

You get exactly what you were told you would get and you can skip the animation entirely without missing anything. Elysia tells Mei she’s going to fight, take back the other sims, then destroy ER, and she does exactly that in that order. It has no narrative value beyond giving a band-aid of a conclusion to an arc that skidded and refused to acknowledge death is tragic in its last moment, too focused on trying to state over and over and over again what we already knew: that there’s beauty and goodness in the world. (Not despite the bad. The bad gets such little consequence that it might as well not exist. The Show not Tell rule is crying.)

People have called out Because of You claiming it copies Everlasting Flames but that’s not quite right; it’s that they share the same story beats (main character gets beaten by Herrscher then rises again in very shiny glory thanks to the power of friendship).

Except for Everlasting Flames, you could forgive that because it was a peak, a triumph— glory is predictable, but you can get fucked over in an infinite amount of ways.

There’s just no tension. Thus Spoke Apocalypse I got bored halfway but at least it had angsty flashbacks and a bittersweet end— if I’d actually cared for Otto’s fate I would’ve probably enjoyed it very much. I like nuance.

Everlasting Flames didn’t need nuance because it was about glory and growth and Kiana coming into her own.

Because of You needed nuance so bad, and it didn’t get it. Closest we get is HoC saying she did think Elysia is beautiful which is… honestly kind of laughable.

And ever since that part of the story, nothing really dark has been allowed to happen? Earth people are gone but literally not ONE person we know has been affected so far. Schicksal HQ and Salt Lake Base are fine. The robot guy is cool with his new body his bestie Jackal made for him. Stigma will end in dreams rather than blood even if the villains get their way. Bronya basically greets Mei with “hi”, feeling no negative emotion whatsoever despite being one of those to pick up the pieces after Mei left Kiana for World Serpent, we’re not even allowed to play their spar. I haven’t caught up with the update from yesterday but I don’t think there’s a lot of tragedy— couldn’t they have at least made a flame-chaser one of the living dead for some real pain? It’s just MEI being like whelp we’re gonna die anyway and Prometheus going :/ so far.

I don’t think spoiler culture makes any sense, and this isn’t that. It’s about tension. It’s about taking me along on the roller coaster ride and making me fear the speed and the height even when I know I’m safe. This is turning into a merry go round in a bad way. :T

[chilope]

re: dogwhistles everywhere: ok, but also there is a wave of statements to the tune of "oh, you say [real aspect of the ongoing ethnic cleansing]? what bullshit lie, you are obviously only saying that bc you believe in [antisemitic dogwhistle]".

i dont. care? like. okay. im going to get on a box real quick and then not talk about this at all anymore.

israel is doing an ethnic cleansing. thats bad. israeli nationism is bad. us support for israel is bad. as us citizens, we have an obligation to oppose our governments support for israel. we have an obligation to call our representatives, to protest, to vote for politicians who will fight back. nothing that anyone says on tumblr about anything that is happening matters at all even a little bit. real time updates about the war crimes dont stop the war crimes from happening. long posts about israels right to exist dont stop the war crimes from happening either.

im frustrated both by the antisemitic dogwhistles and by the jews on this site who insist on making really long posts about how people are being mean to jews as a result of the war crimes. like, antisemitic tumblr posts arent in the same hemisphere as an ethnic cleansing, it feels gross and unnecessary to focus on it. but also, we live here!!

like. this isnt important. im gonna start with that. in the grand scheme of things its just not important. but the little circle of people who exist 1 or 2 degrees from me on tumblr is so chock fucking full of bald antisemitism its mind boggling to me. and it just sits there, all the time, completely unchallenged and unchecked. its normal, its fine, its good even. and then the conflict gets out of hand again and i sit here and watch a bunch of people that i like and respect hold hands with antisemites and talk about how bad israel is. and theyre right!! israel is bad!!

so on the one hand you have a bunch of people saying that the ethnic cleansing isnt happening, or is fine actually, or talking about it is antisemitic. and theyre wrong, and i want them to stop, and also nothing they say matters. but most importantly, i dont actually know them. i dont interact with anyone who says that stuff. i know theyre out there, ive seen screenshots of their posts. but they arent holding hands with anyone i care about.

on the other hand, you have a bunch of people who hate jews, who openly hate jews, who have hated jews for years, who have openly stated they dont want jews to exist, who keep sneaking antisemitic dogwhistles into anti-israeli posts. and theyre getting reblogged by people i like. and again, nothing they say matters. none of these posts impacts actual policy or public sentiment in literally any way. it just doesnt matter!

the only thing that gets impacted by any of this is the the willingness of the people i associate with to tolerate ethnic cleansing apologism (a thing that i have not seen happen) or antisemitism (a thing i have watched happen in real time over the last few years).

so one post slipped through. one. i reblogged *one* post about antisemitism.

like. i *get* that it doesnt fucking matter. some guy on tumblr making a post about how jews should be exterminated isnt on the same level of anything as an actual, literal genocide. it isnt even on the same level as anti-black hiring discrimination, or police violence, or homophobia. but man it sucks that a bunch of my friends are friends with that guy! wish that wasnt true! wish i didnt have to see his posts because people still think hes so cool and insightful!

but it doesnt matter, it really doesnt, and neither do the "actually you only oppose israel because youre antisemitic!" posts. its all just a bunch of powerless angry people yelling at each other to feel better. it doesnt accomplish anything. call your senator, donate to palestinian relief, start a fight with your uncle over thanksgiving.

and leave me alone. that too.

[smoosnoom]

moon moon moon moon moon~

I’ve been trying to think of the right words for what reading your fics feels like and I think I’ve finally pinpointed it.

the way you write has this very intimate feeling about it. like I’ve stumbled into a room and walked in on somebody, interrupting something important. It’s almost uncomfortable, how genuine it all feels. it’s just so believable and I can’t help but feel like I should look away. Like I shouldn’t know these characters’ inner workings on such an intimate level. and even when it’s not the intimacy of introspection, of knowing a persons deepest desires and fears, it’s the little moments.

the moments between characters that clearly display how much they care for each other. and it’s not the build up to the great big confession or kiss. it’s the things that you wouldn’t think twice about if they happened to you. bc of course you would, if you really loved someone, of course you would do that.

like, in corollary, when Mike tells that story abt the normal bird and the squirrel to help Will sleep. or, in where we lay our scene, when Todd helps Neil read lines despite the fact that he’s kinda embarrassed about doing it. it’s the little things that say “I love you” loud enough that when we do get to the big confession scene, we know it to be true.

god. reading your fics feels like when you’ve invited someone into your life and they agree. it feels like washing joint wardrobes and ending up wearing a stray sock of someone you love. it’s keeping that piece of them with you and knowing, “you are mine and I am yours”. it’s feeling it so deeply that you can almost feel it thrumming in your blood. expanding and changing but never leaving. like it’s attached itself to your ribs and taken to weaving itself into your viscera.

reading your fics sometimes feels like falling in love.

oh my god . elijah . ELIJAAHHHHHHHH

u need to know how long i spent rereading this ask over and over again 😭 not to . sound insane or obsessed ok i just . u have a very good skill of knowing Exactly what to say to make me feel like a piece of melted cheese on a sunny day . i would do anything for u

like i jsut dont even know what to say !!!!!! i think especially because . reading my own writing i will never know if i actually accomplished what i want, and i bet u can definitely relate since u are an artist, but it is like u took a peek into my brain and found out exactly what i wanted to hear !!!!!!!

the idea u find it all intimate 😭😭 oh u mean the world to me . i think love is like ,, such a personal thing LOL and i know thats ironic bc i literally write romance but i think thats the intrigue of it all !! u want to see it in others and u want to see them happy !!!! and that stuff is Personal !!!!! so i am so so happy u get that feeling of intimacy, i always have that feeling of intruding in on something whenever i watch or read incredibly romantic media and . i am so overjoyed u get that from me

"it’s the things that you wouldn’t think twice about if they happened to you. bc of course you would, if you really loved someone" oh thats exactly it 😭 like that little emphasis on the ordinary, like something that isnt a big deal but it is because its Them

"reading your fics feels like when you’ve invited someone into your life and they agree. it feels like washing joint wardrobes and ending up wearing a stray sock of someone you love" elijah that is so lovely 😭 are u sure u arent the writer between us !!! and that bit about wearing a stray sock reminded me an awful lot of that one quote by rhiannon mcgavin that goes "of course you love me, you're wearing one of my socks"

i think this means all the more because . i have literally never even had a crush on anyone so the concept that i was able to mimic what ive been hoping love is like is just so ,, relieving or satisfying or something like that but not Exactly . mostly like im just happy i could see it for what it is :) thank u elijah u have no idea how much this and u mean to me !