#again if you say you are plural i will treat you as plural and thats it. i have shit to do man

[tidal-chaos]

the online system community sucks so bad lmao

[antiendovents]

// vent, medical ableism

tldr; my fucking DOCTOR is pro-endo and her source is a dumbass paper that proves nothing and now my healthcare is at risk!!

just had my appointment with my gender wellness doctor. she asked how i've been and i mentioned finding a 2nd therapist for specific stuff. she asked what and i said dissociative disorders. i wanted to be vague but she pressed me to talk about it and reluctantly i talked about having alters and answered her questions bc i struggle with saying no.

i told her i was ok with doing an adverse childhood experiences scale but that i had stuff i wanted to talk about (like my hrt not being at the pharmacy for months) she said "we'll get to it".

after the assessment she asked abt it causing distress and she was talking about how in the office they use the term "plural identities" i said that was fine but that its still a disorder. she was like "disorder is negative" and compared it to how it used to be called gender identity disorder (comparing the two as if she has any place to talk on it, being cis and a singlet) but its better to use "plural identities"

i was like "thats fine as long as its still seen as a disorder and caused by trauma" and she was like "no its not always caused by trauma" and i straight up said "do you have a source for that?" and she was like "google my husbands name" and i did and THEN she moved on to my actual issues with struggling to get hrt for months.

the whole time after i had to mask how i was feeling so i could get basic healthcare. after she hung up i burst into tears. its been like 10 min and im still crying and feel sick. ive had doctors say they dont know what DID/OSDD-1 is before. ive had them say DID is a personality disorder. ive never had anything like this before and i feel unsafe. the fucking endo community IS affecting healthcare. i dont feel like i can ever talk to a doctor about this stuff again. she completely talked over me and then moved on like it was nothing

btw this is the stupid study her husband worked on. read it and its not even PROVING ANY OF WHAT SHE SAID. its just "oh well some people THINK theyre plural and of course disordered people have to be miserable so if you like ur alters they must be magically there!" and was from the plural association. its fucking disgusting this is being used as fact when theres nothing but subjective opinion.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S246874992300042X

i genuinely think im going to go to planned parenthood from now on. i cant work with her anymore. its been 2? maybe more years of working with her but im done. im sorry to ramble so much. im still having a breakdown over this.

-arachnid anon

im really sorry about that arachnid anon. That sucks and if you can we hope you manage to get a new doctor because she is clearly causing you distress. This really sucks, I feel like endos don't always realise how dangerous this stuff can be for actual systems. If doctors don't see it as a disorder then they won't treat it as such, meaning you won't get the help you need and you won't feel safe with her (as you said), which like,, isn't good. She's not a specialist meaning if anything she shouldn't really be saying stuff about DID/OSDD at all, because that's not her job or her place ((I understand you brought it up, but still. She should keep her opinions out of her damn job))

[ezratheanon]

Hey guys today I'm gonna be talking about my essay on that one fic direct doggo posted, im so normal. (I NEED MORE PEOPLE TO TALK ABOUT THEM G R O W L S)

y'know, the one. uhh what was it called again? ah yes DSAF tales "Nothing" anyways something thats been nagging me is how people frame thats the worse daves been through, that henrys abuse weapon (?) is a wrench, well im here to tell you, are wrong. from the wonderful wording in the fic (thanks dd)

["Explain." William demanded of Henry. Henry smiled, coiling the spring again, knowing his trap was set.]

First implication something like this has happened before, this part also means henry knows exactly HOW to get dave stuck in these type of situations

["Well, obviously, I can see you, windin' up some kind of device, ready to put it into your unfinished bot, right?" Dave responded, now hesitant of whether or not he was bumbling his way into one of Henry's (quite typical) cruel lessons.]

second implication we can tell that this isn't the first time Dave's been through this,, hes hesitant, wondering if hes stumbling in one of henrys cruel lessons again. (notice plural in lesson? another bit of evidence)

[William had no time to brace himself before he received an unyielding impact, courtesy of the wrench still in Dr Miller's left hand. William yelped like a confused animal, held his jaw tightly, and paced a few steps backwards, careful not to expose his back to Henry.]

this section of the fic. oh boy theres so much to unpack here. first of, notice the wording? "courtesy of the wrench still in Dr millers hand" henry didnt specifically pick up a something and hit William with it. he just hit him with whatever he had on hand. this has ups and down, for example if he was holding a newspaper the blow could've been softer, on the other hand, if he was holding a more potentially dangerous weapon, like a wrench, then daves in a bit more trouble.

another thing, "careful not to expose his back to Henry" this part, he knows exactly what to do to try to not make it worse, this type of carefulness dosent come from a one-time thing. it also implies that, well, let's just say that some of the scars on his body (specifically his back) weren't made by springlocks

[Henry slowly turned back to his work, and continued cranking the coil of the mechanism that was again holding his sole interest, now that William was disciplined. Henry didn't bother to turn back to check if William had fled the room, he knew that his assistant wouldn't.]

here, this part "Henry didn't bother to turn back to check if William had fled the room, he knew that his assistant wouldn't" If this was henrys first time doing something similar to this, he would've wanted to see how William would've reacted, but since it isn't henrys first time, he didnt turn around, he knew how William would react to this type of treatment.

In this fic, you can also see how deep henry had Dave this deep in manipulation. just by looking at the vocabulary directdoggo used when henry was addressing William "Henry cooed" "Henry affectionately placed his hand on William's now bloodied chin."

in this fic, we can also see the method of manipulation he used to GET William this deep in.

["Henry affectionately placed his hand on William's now bloodied chin.

Now that you see it too, don't you want to protect others from it?" Henry asked him, "Don't you want to stay here, in the light, knowing that I won't let you ever become nothing?" William forced a shaky smile, and frantically nodded, tears in his eyes. Henry's face contorted into a smile, no less sinister, but noticeably wider, but with closed lips]

it's like beating up a dog, but then giving them some treats, knowing what you did is morally wrong and not caring, but needing to keep them loyal by giving reward at the end of abuse.

["How does it look, William?" Henry asked, turning to face his partner, who turned back, fixating himself on the costume to stop his very being from straying towards inconsolability.]

here we can see that William knew that henry would give no more consolation, implying he has tried before, in the past and was just met with worse, and after some studies I notice that children tend to go for comfort to their parents, even when the parents themselves were the one who beat them,funny enough, when it is the parent doing the abuse,child seem to blame it on themselves, strange how a child mind works, isn't it?

anyways theres so much more i want to talk about this fic but it dosent relate to henry and daves dynamic or i forgor so dont forget to like and subscribe and hit that bell!!!!! )

[circular-bircular]

how is saying "having an experience of your characters talking back to you can count as plurality" harmful? yes, to say that it all is inherently plurality, is kinda weird, but it can be plurality. thats it. it isn't always plurality, just like how having DID can be a single-'person' experience / isn't always plurality either (bc there are people who consider themselves people with DID instead of DID systems/plurals)

Alright. Let’s dissect all of the various things here cause there’s a LOT.

What I’ve specifically been talking about isn’t people saying “this CAN be plurality.” I’ve been talking about how so many people are saying it is plurality — inherently.

The reason this is an issue is… a lot of reasons actually, let’s bullet point this one.

Folks like myself (a DID system who has a difficult relationship with the term plurality) who was convinced that voices in my head was normal because “everyone’s a little plural.” I then took my writing to be a sign of my disorder, meaning I had many parts I actually didn’t have. Losing “contact” with those parts (writers block) led to me panicking that I was hurting my system. Which… led to me actually hurting my system by changing what I was doing, which was absolutely fine in the first place.

Folks who are not plural being convinced they are then leaning into that, which can lead them down the path of forced dissociation, and even going so far as to seek out traumatic experiences to legitimize their plurality (in equal parts an issue with endogenic spaces encouraging splits and anti-endo dogpiling being traumatic).

More personally, and what I’ve actually been focused on, there’s the alienation of systems who aren’t working like that, who are constantly being told they should be working like that. I know I’ve been struggling yet again with doubt spirals, because again — the message isn’t “this COULD be a plural experience.” It’s, “Its not normal to experience that, it IS a plural experience.”

The fact is, a lot of people are fighting for this idea that there is no difference between a singlet and a plural; that singlets are all actually plural, and just don’t realize it, particularly because plural is such a wide reaching umbrella. It makes me, as a DID system, feel incredibly… wrong. Because I’m not plural. I don’t identify with that label, and considering myself as such makes my dissociation far worse.

But… I experience the writing thing.

Are my characters I write secretly plurality?

Am I secretly plural? Are these characters actually some form of endogenic? Am I mixed origin? If I am plural, then I need to treat those characters as parts, not as characters, so I should stop ignoring them, I need to contact them—

Cue the spiraling dissociation.

Or, I could just… isolate instead from the people saying this. Since so many people agree, clearly I’m the one who’s different. I’m the one who is wrong. So I just… don’t get to have that community. I’ll just leave it.

Cue the alienation and loss of spaces 🤷‍♀️

Anyways. That’s what I meant by harmful.

[syscourse-confessions]

as a traumatized system diagnosed with DID i really feel ashamed that the anti endo position always boils down to "what about MY pain?" if you cared that much about the science of trauma you would eventually come across the truth that life is unfair and many people can be traumatized even if they dont act like you. im a research minded person, i dont care about what the psych field says unless its provable to me in my life. and it has been proven to me time and time again that even if someone doesnt think of an incident as traumatizing, it can still damage their brain in the same way. taking out your anger at how society treats us on each other is not the way. i have sent anon hate in the past and i finally cracked - im not any better than the people im angry at, i might even be worse. so this anon message is my attempt to reach out to "both sides" so to speak. i understand what its like to be traumatized and feel like my voice isnt heard, and have to deal with cold reality that my voice Isnt heard and thats not fair and i cant do anything about it. i also understand what its like to be a persecutor who feels my hosts shame seeing anti endo rhetoric, despite being a textbook case of DID ourselves. we really should not be at each others throats like this when the boot of fascism is swiftly falling worldwide. im begging on hands and knees for everyone to love each other T_T bigots dont care if youre traumagenic or endogenic they just hear the words "plural system" and black out

.

[doin-just-fine]

Okay so I just read through your entire blog (hope that’s not weird) and it was really helpful, thank you for describing and sharing your experiences. (I am a questioning system for context.) As I scrolled down your blog I found myself wondering if certain feelings or thoughts were just how my autism/neurodivergence present in me and then I got to your post talking about that. And anyway I was wondering if you could maybe expand on how you pulled those two facets of yourself apart and how you knew that one wasn’t the other. Once again thanks for sharing your experiences it’s been really helpful reading them.

Not weird at all!

I assume when you say facets you mean the neurodivergence and the system-ness. Median systems can also refer to there alters as facets instead because it feels more accurate. Anyway heres a bit of an answer for you.

it's tough. Like really tough. Especially if you relate to the no amnesia part of all of this. I have no traditional indicators if systemhood except for trauma at an age before 10 and emotional amnesia. It's really hard to sort out whats what.

Heres what helped:

1: Does your mask have feelings sometimes?: When you mask does it share the same opinions as you all the time or are you only just thinking about if you're masking properly or not.

2: I do not recommend this but if you can do it safely then maybe try it. I went off my ADHD meds for a week: this dropped barriers and people got through a little bit easier.

3: understand who you are and look for differences that don't match that and then try to talk to them: Some might talk back.

4: When you talk to your brain does it talk back: if you said hey that intrusive thought was annoying could you stop please does you brain say sorry? thats different than talking to yourself. Typically talking to yourself is you problem solving, or thinking allowed. If your brain talks back to you outside of those moments maybe do the next thing on the list.

5: Internally operating as if I was a system: Treat the parts of you you suspect to be a head friend like it is a head friend. Treat it like it's a separate person form you. Treat it kindly, with respect, validation, and compassion. If it is a friend in your head understand that whatever their doing is in there eyes for the safety of you or the situation. Even if it's disruptive be kind and patient and let them know that they are valid in why they feel that way and that they are safe with you. If it is another friend they will hopefully appreciate the gesture and maybe feel like they trust you enough to show themself, and if it's not another person nothing bad happens in fact you probably did more good than you were realizing.

6: I theorize that everyone is on a system spectrum: Just like neurodivergence I think plurality is on a spectrum that we're all on and it goes from "just me and my autonomic nervous system working in the background" to "it's me and 50 very distinct friend in my head". I fall in a "my emotions have thoughts and feelings that differ from my own" zone on that spectrum.

7: don't be afraid to make your brain make sense for you: If thats calling it a system then so be it!

8: Try out being a system: Don't make it happen through simulated experience. More like: if you notice you feel different, or you think you have or may switch see what happens when you let yourself notice and embrace those moment. If it feels like you're playing pretend you may not be plural in that way.

If you have anymore questions or need clarifying let me know I was a little stoned writing this. (that can also help people in your head get through easier if you partake)

[fecto-forgo]

i need your know your thoughts on fecto elfilis in general bc i lovelovelove your interpretation from what ive seen and i wanna see More So So Bad

AKSYSKJSKS YOU!!! YOURE GONNA MAKE ME BLUSHHH ok ok elfilis thoughts lets seeee

-ive already said this before but i very much go w the interpretation their mind worked like the fermi paradox dark forest theory:theyre extremely paranoid of any other life forms and they see them as nothing but threats to their survival, so they exterminate whole planets therefore conquering them, the good in them was essentially overshadowed by their severe self preservation urges, their failed attack on the forgotten planet and resulting consequences also served as cementing their paranoia that other species are inherently dangerous

-their origins are completely unclear to them and theyve never met another of their own species, they simply came to be one day, tbh growing up as a planet warping alien without anyone to give you an idea of what a moral compass is and whos dangerous and whos not is probably the root cause of them growing terrified of everything and seeing everyone as threats and deciding that means everyone has to die before they can even think of hurting them

-elfilis personality is weird in my view? theyre on a weird line between conscious and having no self awareness, specially when attacking, if actually given a standard healthy environment to fully form it in theyd probably be a bit similar to a (tad mean) child mindset for a while, that did however not happen so their mind ended up splitting in two because it couldnt handle it together anymore after the lab experiments (ayy i found a way to work more plural metaphors into the split), ig in a way you could see forgo and elfilin as the two ways elfilis could have resulted, one grew up in the lab surrounded by people who saw them as a test subject and entertainment source w elfilis memories and the other actually got to bond with others and be treated well

-they did however when lucid (for lack of a better term) (i mean i already headcanon forgo as psychotic so lizzie probably was too) have a bit of an ego issue with being overly confident in how many successful invasions they had done, those were very much power and safety fantasies to them at times

-they can communicate normally w full sentences! thats a forgo exclusive issue having to do w its brain mal forming from the eternity capsule screwing with its reformation and growth from the elfilis goop

-their "species" (its just them theyre the species) are immortal and fully asexual and aromantic, i think their thoughts on gender and pronouns would range from the "we use he/him for him but he doesnt really care" meme to "stop perceiving me i am going to kill you."

-the accident with them was kinda like if you put a hamster in the microwave but instead of exploding it melts into goo.and the result was also their whole ass identity split into two new ones.

-this isnt rly a lis headcanon but i just wanted to bring it up to explain the previous point:the way i see the entire "oops we split in half" accident is their body melted and split, elfilin spent most of that time after escaping as unconscious goop that very slowly throughout the years after the planets population ascended into the stars formed into the the child version of elfilis again, forgo is a deformed overgrown fetus because they tried rushing their body stability with the tube fluids, which instead trapped them as immediately conscious in stasis while their body was stuck expanding the fetus form and not becoming solid at all (i actually see that the reason its right ear is losing shape is because theyve begun straight up deteriorating from being in the tube fluids for over a century by that point)

-a consequence of going w the interpretation forgo and elfilis are separate is theres not much to say abt them bc theyre essentially a character exclusive to the games backstory since their identity died after splitting into two.i miss them </3

[stars-in-our-skies]

you can ignore me completely since this is a diary blog but i wanted to say, as someone in a VERY conservative red state i somehow stumbled naturally across another queer plural person... (At work i complimented their hair and asked to be friends, after we started hanging out for some months) however much I've tried to be friends with them though it just... it's not turning out well. i hope you have better luck than me, and you find good friends. idk if we live in similar states or not but if you want another online friend, let me know. :-)

(i will say i am 19 so if you're uncomfortable i understand!)

wait anon im almost 19 so of course thats totally fine! and feel free to come off anon if youd like, i try to chat when im in a better mood (like rn) so it might take a bit for me to see but i always read asks & msgs from people sooner rather than later. maybe an online friend is what i need right now.

and as much as i treat this blog like my diary and try to remain anonymous (ive long since deleted all of my selfies despite the fact i'd love to share them, it just isn't safe for me) i definitely dont mind people chatting with me or reblogging my stuff unless it's tagged otherwise <3 i just find tumblr much safer to use than alternatives so i feel comfortable sharing my stories here.

as for your situation... i really do hope it improves. If not by clicking with them, at least by moving on and finding others. I mostly only meet people at cons since it's much safer there but the amount of times i've tried to get to know someone and it hasnt worked is almost laughable. Luckily for me there's a con this weekend so i get to try again, but i get that feeling and im sorry we've both gone through it. i know theres a lot more of us out there than it seems like but finding them is the tough part especially right now. I just try to remember that we'll survive it somehow.

Regardless, thank you for sending an ask. i'm happy to hear i'm not alone out here.

[vallovescookies]

Are intro posts a thing?

“Would you please objectify me? I’m just a hunk of, hunk of, burning self-loathing!”

So uh...not gonna lie, this is yet another stupid thing I did on impulse. oops. So uh...Hello, I’m Valentino, or just Val for short (Fuck man I’d respond to even “THAT BITCH”). I’m a fictive in a system, and I’m deadass only on tumblr to rant about how much I hate my source, share some recipes, then inevitably forget my password and never come back again. 

I’m gonna answer a few questions here, get it over with, and then I’m probably gonna be back to vent/rant or do something stupid. 

Q: Are you a Valentino kinnie?

A: Fuck. No. I am a fictive of him. I also do not back or endorse his actions, I am actually repulsed by a lot of them. 

Q: Can source mates interact with this blog?

A: I don’t see why you would want to, but you can. Please note, however, I’m uncomfortable with people being super friendly because of source. Any Angel Dust fictives, however, if it helps to announce your distaste for me, I am actually okay with that. This applies with IRLs as well

Q: What’s a fictive?

A: In short, a fictive (or, fictional introject if you want to use the longer term), is an alter in a system (someone with DID/OSDD, if you don’t know what that is, you are in the wrong place, friend.) that is based off of a FICTIONAL SOURCE, be it a fictional book, show, game, etc. All that matters is that you are from a fictional form of media. If you are an introject, yet not from a fictional source, that would make you a factive.

Q: Are you okay with endogenic systems?

Short answer is I’m very, very iffy on them. While I have no doubt that there is a way to be plural without trauma, I am against the concept of non-traumagenic DID/OSDD- as someone with OSDD-1B, it is fact that you need some form of trauma to be a DID-OSD system. However, the brain on its own is a very, very confusing thing, so that is why I’m okay with them until they try to claim to have a dissociative disorder.

Q: What is you&’s main blog?

A: Don’t have one, don’t intend to get one.

Q: Why is your banner what it is?

A: In short, I do genuinely feel horrible for my actions in source. I’m not saying this to seek some comfort, as with what I did, that’s not what I feel I deserve. My banner is what it is to show people, mostly that of source mates, that I am aware of the hurt I’ve caused, plus, with my role in the system (S/T/H) that is often how I am stuck feeling.

Q: How do you feel about source talk?

A: Depends. Sometimes, I’m fine with it, other times, I’m genuinely happier pretending I’m not a fictive of who I am.

Q: How do you feel about source?

A: Like stated, I hate my source for what he’s done. My source’s actions, and therefore, himself, are genuinely very very appalling and repulsive. Nobody should treat anyone the way my source treated people, no matter the circumstances.

Q: Can doubles, kins, and IRLs interact?

Doubles and kins, I prefer not to, but IRLS are welcomed.

Thats...about it? I’ll see ya.

[saiiboat]

I’ve always really enjoyed your DID chip fic and found it really interesting, but after the last episode and ESPECIALLY the last just rolled with it I haven’t been able to get it out of my brain. especially the bit from the rolled with it that was like

Bizly: Chip did something? Chip helped? YES! For once!”

Charlie: Well actually— Hang on, but it wasn’t Chip, was it? >:3

Bizly: ………no 🥺 it was Felix :(

Do you have any plans to write anything else in that verse? Either way, I enjoy your writing a lot and I hope y’all have a great day!!

HI hihihi i dont think we're gonna write anything else in that verse, or at least dont have any plans to, but thank you so much for stopping by!! every so often there's a moment in riptide that we do the whole dwayne the rock johnson eyebrow thing if chip does something especially systemcoded. which is. surprisingly often?? i mean we already have two plural characters in JRWI (vyncent and peter, as well as Rumi being hinted at in rolleds, and Harlem an example of integration), so whats one more?

honestly JRWI has been so incredible with weird plural rep and i love it. i dont want perfect unproblematic plural rep, i just want weird, fun characters that i can point to and go "hey!! thats just like me!! fr!!!" the other day i was actually able to use peter as an example of what it's like being a system, especially in terms of how front triggers work. even now i could say "you know how sometimes chip deals with stuff related to the Black Rose and regresses and acts like a kid again? sometimes that happens to us when we deal with xyz."

There's definitely been some. times. (aggressive pluralphobia in one of the what ifs) but JRWI is the only media ive gotten into thats treated systems as just. part of the story (or even had systems, period). We've talked to Condi and he didn't even mean to write a plural character!! he just kinda fell into it!! Vyncent and the adventuring party aren't there as just a plotpoint or the center of the story, for a while they just. exist. and thts pretty cool.

i just had a 6 hr train ride so im pretty tired and might have more to say on this later but thank you for reading!!

[dork-empress]

Singing In The Dead Of Night Ch 2

Harley and Barman set up a playdate for their wards.

forgive the long post, i'll edit and clean it up when im home. chapter can also be found on my ao3, url in the description.

Harley made it back home, which was actually the manor of some billionaire who only really used the house for tax purposes. Harley had taken it over when Lucy came to live with her, deciding she needed more room, and they quickly changed it to suit their needs.

“Luuuucyyyy, I’m hooooome,” Harley called out to the manor, heading through the living room/gymnasium.

Lucy was balancing on the beam by her hands. “Never heard that one before.” She went into the splits and stayed on one hand.

Harley looked over her form. “Point your toes more...there ya go.” Lucy did as recommended. “I got candy for dinner!” She dumped her stolen lollipops on the table.

“I already ate, Aunt Harley,” she said, “I made extra pasta if you want.” She pointed over to the kitchen, before switching hands and flipping herself over.

“Oh,” Harley said, going over to make a plate, but feeling like ants were crawling in her skin. “You know, you don’t have to call me your aunt when it’s just the two of us,” She said, swirling her fork through the noodles.

Lucy shrugged, “Force of habit. Plus it’s a good idea in general, ya know, in case someone’s secretly listening in or we mess up some other time.”

Harley shrugged her shoulders. “Makes sense,” and it did, but it still kind of hurt. “You can have the lollipops for dessert though. You like cherry?” She tossed her the red candy.

Lucy looked down at the wrapper a second. “Can’t, I’m allergic to the red dye.”

“Oh,” Harley said, silently cursing herself. That was something that mothers should know about their kids, allergies and crap. “Well. Lemon then?”

“Sure!” They traded the lollipops, and Harley sucked on hers between bites of the pasta. Sweet and savory combined, delicious.

Lucy swung her legs as she sat on the beam. “Does...my father have any allergies?”

Harley blinked at her. Did Joker have any allergies? It was hard to say. Even now, Harley didn’t know a lot about the Joker. That’s how he liked it. “Best not to talk about it,” she said instead, “In case of those listening things or whatever.”

Lucy hummed, but didn’t seem satisfied. “Hey,” Harley said, trying to distract her from the ‘dad’ talk, “You wanna go out with me tomorrow?”

Lucy brightened, jumping a bit, “Where are you gonna go?”

“I dunno,” she said, “Go lookin’ for trouble. Let the trouble find me. Punch out a couple people but only if they REALLY deserve it!” And maybe if they only kinda deserved it, Harley thought.

Lucy hummed again, thinking. “I dunno. I think violence often begets further violence, and while it is occasionally necessary, efforts should focus more on the community building and personal improvement area.”

Harley blinked at her. Right, she was a reader, Delia had mentioned that. Not unlike Harley at her age, really, although Harley had focused on psychoanalysis instead of philosophy. “Ah, of course,” she said, “Well, what do you wanna do?”

Lucy thought for a second. “Well, there was this girl I wanted to go inspire to fight her eating disorder.”

“Oh,” Harley said nodding. It was a noble cause, really, but...also seemed really, really boring. “I...sure!” she smiled.

The truth was, when Lucy came out to live with Harley full time, she had really thought they would be a lady dynamic duo, a proper partnership mother/daughter team. But Lucy wasn’t much like Harley. Or, she was but, she was different, a goody two-shoes. Or, a goody tutu. Ha.

More than that, she followed a strange sense of logic that was oddly reminiscent of...Harley didn’t even finish the thought.

“You don’t want to go, do you?” Lucy asked.

“Hmm? Of course I do!” Harley said, “I’d do anything with you sweetheart,” she gave Lucy a wink, then went to the kitchen to hide her facial expression.

She didn’t see that Lucy had followed her until she was directly behind her. “Oh, Jesus!” She said, clutching her heart, “Gotta look out there, sweetie. Almost brained ya!”

“Is Dad like me at all?” she asked, head tilted to the side.

Harley blinked at her. She felt like her bones were shaking inside her skin. “Why would you ask a thing like that?”

Lucy spun a little in place making her tutu swish. “I’ve been reading about him. People think he’s crazy. I mean, he says it. But that’s not what your records say.”

Harley frowned, backing away as though physical distance would get her out of the conversation. “What’re you goin through my records for? What, are you a snoop?”

“They got published after one of your arrests,” Lucy said, “Other people were more interested in the little notes you left in the margins, but--”

“Alright, stop.” Harley said, hand clutching her lollipop stick so tight it might break. “Look, Mr...your father is mean and cruel and manipulative, and nothing like you! He wants to drive other people crazy, and for some people, self included, he succeded. But I grew out of it as best I could and now...you don’t need to worry about him, ok? He ain’t ever gonna know about ya, and he ain’t ever gonna find ya. Got it?”

Lucy hesitated a second and there was something strange in her eyes. Something familiar. “Got it,” she finally said.

Harley lightened, smiling at her. “Why don’t we play a game or somethin? You like Monopoly? I make up my own rules!”

Lucy smiled, “That sounds nice,” she said, all bright again. As they set up the game, Lucy said, “You don’t have to come with me tomorrow, by the way. I can take care of myself.”

“You sure?” Harley asked. Lucy nodded. For the rest of the evening, Harley felt like something was…off.

She slipped the burner phone out of her pocket. She typed, ‘Wanna set up a playdate?’

“She called it a WHAT?!” Damian said, nose wrinkled in disgust.

“Aww,” Tim said, over by the batcave computer, “Little Damian’s got a plaaayydaaate.”

“I will end you, Drake.” Damian snarled, fingers twitching for his sword.

“Enough,” Bruce interrupted the both of them. “Damian, if it helps you can think of it as a mission.”

“I thought I was forbidden from Robin duties for the next two months.” Damian said, arms crossed.

Bruce groaned. “Harley has taken in a ward, her niece Lucy. She has some petty crime charges, but from my recon, she’s not a villain. Harley wants her to spend time with someone her age, and I need someone who will watch over her.”

“Watch out for her, or watch out because of her?” Damian asked, scowling.

“Oooh, good question,” Tim said, still at the computer. “Hey, how come you didn’t set me up with vigilante kids?”

“Because you found them on your own,” Bruce shot back, “Look. Damian, you just have to spend the day with her. Follow her around, help her out as long as it’s not hurting anyone. Don’t let her get killed. Invite Jon if you want.”

“Uggh, Jon’s off world with his Dad,” Damian said.

“Oh right,” Bruce said, massaging his temple. “Why do interdimensional crises have to happen at the worst times?”

“Why is it we need a plural for interdimensional crisis?” Tim asked.

Bruce gave him a side glance to let him know he was coming up on the line that breached from ‘annoying’ to ‘problem Bruce will deal with.’ “Damian…”

“Fine, I’ll do it,” he said, “But I won’t be her friend by you forcing us.”

“Fine.”

They met up with Harley at a neutral location downtown on top of a party goods store. “Hiya Batsy, Hey Bird Boy!”

Despite himself, Damian liked Harley. She was usually of a like mind about which villains did or didn’t deserve to live, but he didn’t tell Batman that. “Harley,” Batman said, “Where’s your niece?”

“Just doin some high-wire practice.” Harley said, “Lucy-goosey!”

From the side of the building, a girl faulted up from where she was hanging on the flagpole. A girl wearing a tutu and white paint. “Nice to meet you, Batman,” Lucy said, “Aunt Harley’s told me….a lot of mixed things.”

“YOU!” Damian said, before he could stop himself, and all three of the others turned to him.

Lucy trotted forward on her tiptoes. “Have we met?” She asked, tilting her head, and looking him up and down.

Damian swallowed. “Uhh….”

“Blackbird!” Lucy said, and swooped him up into a hug, “Oh, I knew you were a Robin, why’d you lie to me?”

“Blackbird, huh?” Batman said, and he couldn’t see, but he knew there was a very pointed eyebrow being raised at him.

Damian, still being swung like a ragdoll by Lucy, tried to gain his balance. “I didn’t...I mean I wasn’t…”

“We’ll talk about this later,” Batman said, “You kids go on, I have something to talk about with Harley.”

“Kids?!” Damian said, offended, especially that he was going to be left out of whatever this conversation was. But in doing so, he left himself vulnerable as Lucy pulled on his cowl to the edge of the building.

“Come on, birdy, whatever color you are. The city awaits!” And she jumped from the roof, grappling on outcroppings to reach the street safely. Damian grumbled, but eventually followed.

Harley looked to Batman, and her face fell. “He’s out there, isn’t he?”

Batman gave one slow nod.

Lucy skipped everywhere. It was very irritating, because it was faster than walking, but slower than running, so hard to keep pace. Also,it was just very perky, which made it hard to sulk.

Lucy claimed she had deliveries to make around town. Something about girls who were bullies in high school and were treating others poorly, but it was only because of the societal pressures that were put on young girls of America and...and thats about where Damian lost interest.

She carried a cartfull of boxes like a damn girlscout, and left them on the girls doors. Damian could have followed in his sleep...except there was something about one of the boxes….

“What’s in that one?” Damian asked as she brought it to the next home.

“Huh?” Lucy said, “Same thing as in all of them, some cookies, a letter, balloons of course and--”

“It’s beeping,” Damian said.

“What?”

Damian didn’t wait any longer, he grabbed the box out of her arms and tossed it as high into the sky as he could, tackling her to the ground. The box then exploded.

Lucy gasped in excitement, clapping her hands together. “Birdy, look at it! It’s fireworks!”

Damian growled, jumping off of her and taking out his sword. “I knew it, I knew you were up to no good.”

Lucy tilted her head. “Whatcha talkin about, Birdy?”

“You--” He pointed to where the box was still smoldering. “You were going to put a BOMB on that girl’s doorstep!”

“I didn’t put that there,” Lucy said, getting up with no care of the sword pointed at her.

“You-” Damian stammered. “What?”

Lucy bent down and picked up a scrap of paper from the ruins. “Change of plans for the evening, Birdy!” Lucy said, “We’re going puzzling!”

She tossed the paper at him and he grabbed it quickly. It read ‘I’ve the tallest of trunks and thickest of stumps, a switch in the breeze, but I’m no tree. What am I?’”

They came quickly to the elephant pasture at the zoo. Damian couldn’t help it, he held out his hand for the elephant. She reached out her trunk and wrapped it around him. He couldn’t help but laugh.

Her baby came forward this time, trotting on new steps. He was already the size of a small horse, but he stole Damian’s heart all the same. He tried to bowl Damian over like a large puppy, and Damian couldn’t help but laugh. “Didn’t know you could laugh, Birdy,” Lucy said, kneeling over a shady patch in the enclosure.

Damian’s scowl returned. “Stop calling me ‘Birdy,’” he said, “You can just say ‘Robin,’ if you want.”

“But aren’t there other Robins?” Lucy said, fiddling with something, “I’d love to call you something unique to you.”

“There’s already a Blackbird, you know.” Damian said, continuing to pet the baby elephant.

“There is?” Lucy asked, “Picking a superhero name is HARD. I’m still trying to get Commedia to stick. You know, like, Commedia del arte? But I’ll end up getting called ‘Tutu girl’ or something if I don’t watch out.”

Damian gently pushed the elephant away, seeing what she was doing. She was hands deep in another box like the one they’d found in her cart. “Careful, it could be another bomb.”

“Fireworks,” Lucy corrected, “and I already diffused it.”

Damian leaned down, looking. She had indeed done so, quite efficiently. “How did you know to do that?”

Lucy smiled, “An uncle of mine taught me. You’ll meet him.” She dug further into the box. “I wouldn’t mind some more fireworks, but I don’t want to scare the elephants.” She pulled out another slip of paper.

“This has all the hallmarks of The Riddler,” Damian said, “We have to be careful. He might have bombs all over the city.”

“Fireworks!” Lucy corrected again, “And, probably. See, we already have the next clue!” She waved the paper and read out “Can you hear me make a sound, only when you are around.”

“Of course you can only hear things when you’re around.” Damian said, frowning.

“But only when someone’s around does it make a...Oh!” Lucy said, jumping to her feet, “An echo! We have to go somewhere there’s an echo!”

Damian sighed, “I have an idea.”

Technically they weren’t IN the Bat cave. They were at a far entrance to it, another end of the cave system. So he wasn’t breaking any rules. “Hey, is that Wayne Manor?” Lucy asked. “I tried to break in there once, but they have some crazy rich person security system.”

“Funny that.” Damian said, trying to seem completely ordinary.

Lucy stood at the edge of the cave and yelled into it. “ECHO!” listening for the echo in return. She skipped into the cave, humming all the way, the sound bouncing off as she went.

“Lucy?” Damian said, following her, “Don’t go too far, there’s all sorts of--” He heard a squeal and rushed forward.

He stopped short, his flashlight falling on Lucy. She waved at him to put it down, squinting. “Look here!” She brushed aside some dirt to find some rusted over metal. “Isn’t it fascinating! This cave system must go on for miles! Maybe people hid treasure there!”

“It’s just the old mining system,” Damian said, truthfully. “It’s all blocked off.”

“That can’t be hard to undo,” Lucy said, intrigued by whatever lay beyond.

Damian grabbed her hand before she could continue. “We have to catch the Riddler. There has to be another package here.”

Lucy sighed, but nodded. She took his arm with the flashlight and swung him around the cave. “Ah! There.”

She took the package and skipped out of the cave. “Careful!” Damian urged. “Come on, just diffuse it.”

“Nope, not these ones.” She tossed the package high in the sky, and Damian saw the fireworks light up.

He felt his phone buzzing, no doubt Tim could hear an explosion out here, not to mention Alfred. They’d come investigating fast enough. He leaped up, grabbing the fallen slip of paper, and grabbed Lucy again to pull her along. He read it quickly and passed it to her as he made his way away. “Even in the city scape, nature comes to take its place.” Lucy read. “It must be the park!”

l,

“No,” Damian said, still pulling her, “I mean, yes, that is the answer to the riddle, but that’s not where we’re going.” He texted the police to inform them of the location of the hidden package so they could diffuse it, and dragged Lucy away.

The original Gotham Ice Cream shop was one of the oldest remaining buildings in Gotham, although was clearly closed for the night.

Damian saw a flash of green from the kitchens and rushed inside, finding none other than the Riddler standing there. “Stand down, Riddler,” Damian said, holding out his sword, “We’ve got you now!”

Riddler snarled, backing into a defensive stance. “Robin! How did you possibly find me?”

Damian smirked, “The beginning of each clue was clearly spelling out your final location. I-C-E. I didn’t need to follow 5 more clues to figure that out.”

Riddler cursed. “Those clues weren’t for you! They were for--!”

Lucy came skipping up to join Damian. “Hi, Uncle Eddy!”

“Lucille!” Riddler said, immediately warming. “I had so many sights around Gotham for you to see, why’d you go skipping to the end?”

Lucy skipped up to him, and Damian was once again left dumbfounded. “My friend Birdy here isn’t much for riddles, I think,” she said, “Although he enjoyed the elephants! And he knew about the mining carts in the caves, I want to explore those later.”

‘Uncle Eddy’ hugged Lucy, and Damian came to his senses, “THIS is your uncle?!”

Lucy shrugged, “I mean, that’s what I call him. I met him when I was visiting Aunt Harley a few years ago.”

“I heard you had moved to Gotham full time,” Riddler said, “I wanted to be sure you saw the sights. But the bat-brats have to ruin everything I suppose.” Riddler glared at him, and he glared right back.

“I don’t-” Damian started, but cut himself off, “You can’t just be leaving BOMBS around the city!”

“Fireworks!” Lucy and Riddler both corrected.

“Whatever! They’re explosive and they’re dangerous!” Damian hated having to be the safety one. It felt wrong.

Riddler rolled his eyes. “He’s just as much a barrel of laughs as the big one.”

“Aw, he’s sweet, really,” Lucy said, coming over to Damian and linking their arms. “Aunt Harley and Batman set us up on our own little playdate.”

“It is NOT!” Damian said, squirming away from her, “It is NOT a playdate.”

“Uncle Eddy, can my friend Birdy have some Ice Cream too?” Lucy asked, ignoring him.

Riddler and Damian glared again. “Fine.” He pushed his own bowl of ice cream towards Damian and went to get his own. “It’s MYSTERY flavor!”

Damian looked at it hesitantly as Lucy sat down to enjoy. Riddler went back to the kitchen. “It’s coconut,” Lucy said, “But Uncle Eddy likes to think it’s a mystery, so I let him.”

Damian frowned at her. “You’re really weird.”

“Thank you!” Lucy said, patting the seat beside her. “Come on, even you had to admit you had fun today.”

Damian thought about the elephants, and skipping around with Lucy, and watching the fireworks at the mouth of the cave, and seeing her all excited about mining carts for some reason. “Fine,” he said, “But it’s NOT a playdate.”

“Alright, alright,” Lucy said, digging into her ice cream. “Just a regular date then.”

“I--” Damian started, his head exploding with so many protests that he ended up just short circuiting. Lucy continued chowing down on ice cream like she didn’t say anything of importance. So, Damian just sat beside her, and ate his own.

[system-of-a-feather]

outside of fictive weirdness, syscourse, and parts vs people stuff, what is a popular opinion in online DID spaces that gets your blood boiling?

I wouldn’t say either of these are “blood boiling” as much as critiques / things I don’t get about online DID spaces but I guess there are two off the top of my head.

One, the DID Community IS NOT a safe place and should not be assumed or treated to be one. Of course it would be ideal for it to be one, but it really isn’t and it really does concern me how many people do think the community is a safe place (as I saw with that old survey that was put out.)

I say this partially because no internet space is a safe place. The internet is a permanent place with a lot of anonymity that is just as easily a danger as it is a protection. People should not be over sharing online or getting too attached or trusting others so openly. People should not be sharing positive or negative triggers so easily. Littles should be VERY careful about being online. I see a lot of people both on Tumblr, Twitter, and Youtube sharing way more information than they should and that information is stuff that can be taken advantage of by any on looker that has access to the internet. I wasn’t around, but Tumblr DID Community itself has had abusers that took advantage of it so I hear and I 1000% do believe it. 

Additionally, a lot of miss information, toxicity, and maladaptive behaviors can easily be passed around in communities of people - particularly when things aren’t double checked. On top of that, being online excessively is not good and a lot of online friendships are easier to have blurred boundaries with. And lastly, there are WAY too many young people here sharing way too much about themselves and self diagnosing themselves with OSDD / DID. I am not against self diagnosis much at all, but it is a very difficult disorder to differentiate from similar looking disorders in adults, and when you are a teenager, that stage of development - especially with a history of trauma - can be very confusing. Miss self diagnosing when you are a teen with something that is so all consuming can be a bit problematic as it can eat up more of the time that could have been spent having that critical period of being a teen. This is more concerning when you take into account how much misinformation there is about the disorder. 

((Also, there is a reason a lot of therapists / psychiatrists don’t like to diagnose personality disorders and DID until you are over 18; part of it is because it is hard to diagnose before due to developmental stuff, part of it is due to internalized stigma within in medical / mental health field that might make life difficult, and part of it is to preserve the bit of childhood that is left and to allow them to focus on developmental milestones))

It isn’t to say its inherently HORRIBLE of a community, but I really do wish people were more careful with their information and how they involve themselves and the information presented to minors.

The second one I more “don’t get” and find a bit weird is the people that treat DID / multiplicity as an identity over anything else and go about saying stuff like #PluralRights as though we are a marginalized society and not a stigmatized disorder.

Because firstly, what “rights” would we even want / need that would make sense legally at all? Voting more than once? No thats not fair. Multiple IDs? That would be weird and problematic. I really don’t know what RIGHTS people with DID need other than stuff like “Hey can professionals not send us to hospitals just because we have the disorder” which I feel is more in stigma than rights. I GUESS respect and understanding, but again, thats more stigma than rights.

Also DID isn’t an identity. Its an IDENTITY DISORDER. It’s not something you just... identify with? And it is far far far more than being multiple / plural? Also it isn’t something you can opt into unless you want to make the argument that some people when there were like 2 or 3 asked to be abused which is problematic in it’s own.

We aren’t like the trans community (even though there seems to be a decent overlap) and having DID isn’t like being trans at all and I don’t get the comparison to it.

On a personal stance, I don’t even really think about being multiple / plural much on my day to day. It is just something that is there. Most of the issues regarding DID are not anything about being systemically oppressed or anything more than it is for any other highly stigmatized disorder like say Schizophernia. If we were to say “Mental Health Rights” that would make sense, but Plural Rights???

I really just don’t get plurality / multiplicity being an identity. I get clinging onto it when you don’t have a strong sense of identity or its something that makes you comfortable, cool, but I really don’t get it being compared to gender identity or sexual identity or ethnicity or anything that is like... marginalized.

I don’t really even want being plural / multiple to be normalized in society since I kind of enjoy being able to be seen as a single individual a lot outside of this blog? It leaves a lot of room for healing and joint work and similar stuff so. I dunno.

This doesn’t really make my blood boil or anything as much as I just REALLY don’t get it and it REALLY doesn’t make sense to me.

-Riku (Host)

[titsthedamnseason]

okay this is going to sound like a reach but this is my theory that the folk of the air series isn’t over and holly black is going to use how the king of elfhame learned to hate stories as a way to bridge between the original trilogy and a new set of books.

first off, while i wouldn’t say queen of nothing had an open or unresolved ending, there were definitely plenty of threads left untied. the plan for cardan and jude’s future was muddled - are they still planning on handing the throne over to oak? if not, how long are they planning on reigning for? the plan leading up to qon was that cardan would rule until oak came of age, but then holly black made a big deal of jude’s coronation and her setting new precedents as the first mortal queen of elfhame, wouldn’t this be a highly ineffective and short-lived movement if she gave up the throne in a few short years that are barely a blink for an immortal faerie? it also seems like an ineffective and unsatisfactory ending to make readers feel uplifted at seeing jude’s crowning only to know it won’t even last. more to this point, eventually seceding from the throne was cardan’s wish, but jude always craved power. does it make sense for her arc to be content to give away all her power to her younger brother after a few short years in favor of living a peaceful and removed life such as cardan wants (wanted? the ending also fails to clarify a solid sense of how cardan views his reign by the time qon wraps up since he seems to enjoy being king for at least some of qon)? i could definitely see a plot revolving around oak coming of age and despite the fact that she has been guiding him towards the throne for years, jude suddenly finds herself unwilling to part with the power she coveted for so much of her life. it leaves ample potential for classic holly black scheming and secretism that she is a master at writing

furthermore, a related point is that jude’s mortality is never addressed? although the series mentions once that mortals wont age while in faerie, the years only catching up to them if they re-enter the mortal world, jude and taryn obviously aged through childhood and it is unclear at what age they will stop. it also leaves the assumption that they would probably somewhat expect to fear return to the mortal world in the future, but treat visits in qon with little trepidation. you would imagine they would either want to soak up every minute they can, knowing one day they will be unable to return, or would begin to prematurely fear it due to knowing what’s to come

also, there was a LOT of emphasis on oak wanting to save suren but never any follow through. jude muses about how suren seems unpredictable and hints at suspicions of a difficult future, but obviously since it was the series conclusion it never comes to any fruition. i could easily see a series revolving around oak’s connection to suren (what did he see in her that made him want to save her?) and starting a possible romantic plotline between the two characters as he comes of age and prepares to rule elfhame. i think maybe the two ideas could even be used in one story (dual jude and oak pov?? just oak pov? will they begin to resent/rival each other because jude is too harsh in training? because she doesn’t trust suren as another queen? because she continues clinging to her power?)

holly black has confirmed that htkoelths will include an extension beyond the end of qon. while this could easily be a fluff chapter or two just focusing on judecardan’s daily life as rulers, or focusing on a sweet moment away, or maybe a minor threat they have to deal with, i can also see it as a very easy way to set up for a new/extended series. it would give insight as to what has been happening since tqon but also leave hints or lay out general background for tensions that would be the center of a new series, no matter the plot. it could serve as the perfect opportunity to bridge that gap. holly also tweeted this in which she implies future BOOKS, as in the plural, will be written about jude and cardan which could maybe be a hint that htkoelths wasn’t the end 👀

i would also like to point out that either way i hope/suspect we will see jude and cardan again in the future because holly black loves writing about faeries and has not only written books set in the same universe as elfhame, but has given her standalone characters cameos in other books. this is nothing more than a dream but judecardan could be referenced or maybe even present in another book or series. what if the main character needs to visit their palace and we see them ruling...now THATS a thought

[eeveecraft]

"Sysmeds" aka defensive systems who arent comf with all plurals, dont respect you either. Youre appropriating our language, invading our spaces, and demonizing us all bc of the behavior of a few. We dont agree with you, and thats fine, but dont pretend we are all evil. That would be like saying all endo/quoi "systems" are bad simply for the actions of one. It isnt fair. Please be more respectful to those of us who have trauma and simply want distance and terms of our own.

Nah, I just “pretend” that not even half of you even do a damn minute of research or take non-academic opinions as law. It has been proven time and time again that the terms other plurals are supposedly “appropriating” are terms by the general community for any kind of plural probably before you were even born. Nor do we “invade” your spaces. Ha, reminds me how you guys love to post hate in #endogenic positivity because that’s real fucking clever.

And behavior of a few? Buddy, I’ve had to block probably fifty or more sysmeds by now. “Few,” is a damn low underestimate of how many open sysmeds there are.

Also, you’re throwing trauma in there? Here, let me add to the pile. Just because you’re mentally ill or traumatized doesn’t mean you get a free douchebag pass to a group of people who mind their own damn business. Do I get to be an asshole because I’m autistic and disabled? No. Not to mention that there are plenty of endogenic systems who have trauma, but it didn’t cause their Plurality, or how a lot of them have other mental illnesses.

Don’t get me wrong, both the endogenic and Tulpamancy communities have their fair share of cancer and assholes like any community, but sysmeds literally treat us like we’re all the scum of the Earth for just existing. The suicide-baiting, death threats, honey pot servers, harassment, cyberbullying, dedicated hate blogs... it goes on with all the sh!t sysmeds do, and it is NOT okay. I don’t care how you feel about us, but the sh!t many of you take part in is fucking sick.

I’m perfectly fine if you want to stay away from endogenic systems, that’s entirely your decision, but sysmeds are more than, “Defensive systems not comfortable with all plurals.” No, it goes beyond that to literal hate and abuse. If what you said was actually true, I wouldn’t necessarily mind sysmeds, but that’s not the case.

Anyway, I’m done here.

2-5-2020

[thebibliomancer]

50 More Days of Comics! 33/50: X-Men #14 (1992)

Part 3 of X-Cutioner’s Song! Oh no!

I don’t think anyone ever sings and there’s not an X-Cutioner because that’s a different character entirely and this is all about tying up Cable and Stryfe’s stupid plot and I don’t particularly like either of those gritted teeth shouty muscle people.

At least Stryfe kidnaps Jean and Cyclops and yells at them on the Moon for abandoning a baby. Unfortunately that doesn’t happen in this issue.

What’s actually kind of neat is that the comic comes in the original X-Cutioner’s Song bag that lists the order of comics in the crossover and boasts an official Marvel TRADING card featuring STRYFE’S STRIKE FILE.

Alas, the card is not in the bag.

I was actually debating whether to actually open the bag or just leave it forever to its plastic tomb (and read the comic on Unlimited so I could do this post) but the bag had already been torn open at the bottom.

Kind of cool to have the original bag though?

As X-Men events do, it just kind of mixes all the teams into a soup and doles them out an issue at a time which serves one (1) jumbled narrative where too (2) much is happening.

We’ve got X-Factor, X-Men, X-Force, and Uncanny X-Men all in this X-Cutioner’s Song and its X-asperating.

But in the previous times: ‘Cable’ shot Professor X with the techno-organic virus and Mr Sinister had Jean and Scott Cyclops kidnapped and framed Apocalypse for it.

In this issue, the X-Men demonstrate the importance of asking for help before complaining that other heroes never doing anything for mutants because when X-Force’s Valerie Cooper suggests calling in Reed Richards and/or Hank Pym to help treat Xavier’s infection, Storm poo-poos the idea saying that if Hank McCoy and Moira McTaggart can’t handle it no one can.

Because putting together many heads on the same problem isn’t actually helpful apparently. Because a plurality of views is bad actually.

I can see why Beast thought joining the Illuminati was Actually A Good Thing.

Out in the lounge, the X-Men and X-Factor dynamically pose because there are not enough couch seats to go around. But honestly its rude of Psylocke to dynamically pose in front of the couch, preventing someone from sitting down. Quicksilver and Iceman have to stand on the stairs because there’s no room!

Anyway, they decide to divvy up the various peeps roughly on Blue Team/Gold Team lines. One team to find Cable and/or X-Force, the teenagers he shaped into child soldiers even more than being a young X-Men related team already makes you. And one team to hunt down Apocalypse.

Bishop and Jubilee will stay behind at the mansion. Jubilee because she’s a teenager and the X-Men aren’t endangering teenagers! Today! And Bishop in case ‘Cable’ tries to attack Xavier again.

Meanwhile in Panama for no reason, Forearm and Reaper trade a mysterious capsule (that will transpire to contain the Legacy Virus) for polybagged Jean and Scott Cyclops so Stryfe can yell at them on the Moon.

In Egypt, Apocalypse is woken up way before his alarm was set for by his minions who want to tell him about the Scott and Jean abduction and how it was carried out in his name.

Also, Apocalypse speaks in a different, shaky font because he just woke up and hasn’t had his coffee yet. Its kind of cool.

Meanwhile above prose trying to sound deep, Blue Team heads towards X-Force’s last known location.

“The irony is not lost on the X-Men as their Blackbird craft flies over the skies of the Midwest towards a confrontation with X-Force. Hasn’t the area of the United States below them always been called the “Heartland” of the country? A place the politicians laud for its “higher values” and greater moral integrity? Ironic then, that the fight they face is, in many ways, one of values -- one of morals... a fight against the next generation of mutants -- to determine whether the method they are choosing in their pursuit of Xavier’s dream -- are right or wrong.”

Befitting that whatever that was, the X-Men and X... Factorites? aboard the Blackbird debate whether the ends justify the means and what the hell happened to the X-Force kids and they keep calling them soldiers which is really just buying into Cable’s narrative which they should not do.

Polaris: “I wonder how the soldiers could let the general turn them this cold -- this hard --”

Wolverine: “Maybe it ain’t Cable that’s turned ‘em this way, darlin’... maybe it’s just the way o’ the world that did it. Maybe the dream is dead. Maybe we should all stop pretendin’ it ain’t -- an’ accept the fact we’re livin’ in a nightmare.”

Maybe its the time that New York literally turned to Hell and one of their friends had to retcon herself out of existence to save it? Or the time that Xavier pissed off and left Magneto in charge and Magneto got pissed off that the kids kept going out after curfew and getting themselves killed and pissed off and then nobody was watching them and Cable swanned in to turn them into soldiers more so than was already a thing just because of the narrative forces of comic book stories?

And when any X-Man related person found out that giant gun man had taken over the band of impressionable death-prone youths AND WHEN XAVIER FOUND OUT the response was “oh thats fine, he’ll teach them to shave.”

A lot of nonsense had to fly to get us to this point.

Say what you want about Magneto’s tenure as principal of the school, he tried to keep the kids from being child soldiers. That makes him the only responsible adult that the school ever had. He also kept his murder impulses under control because he wanted to set a good example.

Meanwhile in space, large gun shouty man returns from some R&R in the future only to learn that while he was gone, not only was Xavier shot (which baffles Cable because thats not what the future said!) but also that it was him (which baffles Cable because you’d think you’d remember shooting a guy that history said wasn’t shot at this point).

I mean, c’mon, its Stryfe. He has Cable’s same face. I’m surprised he doesn’t open credit cards in Cable’s name and then ruin his credit score.

Back at the mansion, Jubilee tries to bond with Bishop but he’s too large gun grim gritty future man to notice at first. And by the time he gets his head out of his ass enough to thank her for bringing him coffee, all hell breaks loose.

Because while Bishop was outside flexing and posing with large guns, Sinister broke into the mansion and is holding X-Men dance instructor Stevie Hunter and X-Factor’s Valerie Cooper hostage and waxing Shakespearean about how he’s totally going to murder Xavier.

Mr. Sinister: “As I have already explained to Ms. Cooper and Ms. Hunter -- I have come not to praise Charles Xavier -- but to bury him! Bury him for the SINS of his failures! Would you care to be counted among those sins? Would you care to DIE for them?!”

Is Mr Sinister like the polar opposite of the doctor who insists everyone call him doctor?

On the X-Force side of the plot, they crash a ship. They keep it from being fatal by having Richter shoot earthquakes out of his hands to... cushion the blow??? The X-Men show up to ambush them but X-Force ambushes them instead.

Wolverine: “Stop thinkin’ of them as kids, Betts. We’re up against soldiers here!”

Shut the fuck up, Wolverine.

Anyway (one part of) X-Cutioner’s Song. I’m not enamored with it because its early 90s X-Men and has the early 90s X-Men problems.

As a neat bit of timestamp, one of the letters on the letters page asked about the X-Men movie they heard was being made and the answer was ‘yeah we don’t know when that’s coming out but you should watch the cool X-Men cartoon that’s coming out in the fall!’

That sure dates this.

[strawberryspeachy]

I wonder if im about to get fired again

Last year i got fired because a teacher who acted like he wanted to be my friend hated when I reciprocated that want.

Ive worked with about 55 other teachers since him and none of them

Ask about my weekend every week. Ask about my friends. Ask about my personal life. Stare at me in the office. Lean over me and touch me. Come look through my folder that im holding to just point out the paper im looking for (they just offer me a new one if they think i dont have it)

But. I was totally stalking him. And got fired.

Now im working at 2 schools

One with 4/5 horrible teachers

The other with 4/5 wonderful teachers

At the horrible teacher school one has been (and i dont say this about people often. Actually ever. I assume ppl hate me... but this woman has bee - well)

K so i made a newsletter for the schools. The good school put it out for the students and that was that. The bad school told me i could distribute it. So i asked this teacher where

She took me into the hallway and showed me a board. She told me to put the papers on those walls. And then she gave me pins. So i did.

Then she told my company i put papers up without permission

Ive worn the same clothes to all 7 schools ive worked at plus two camps. Never got a complaint. Until now. She complained about my skirt and socks

She said in a fly away statement when i started that because were teachers we cant travel because of corona and must stay home - it irriated me because i clearly understood that she was telling me that i need to stay home when im not working. Fuck that! But i just agreed with her. Her first question after my summer break was “you had a long vacation, did you go anywhere”

She asked in a happy voice - pretending that was wanted to hear about something exciting. But. Bitch i have a good memory. I told her i mostly stayed home and only went to a nearby town.

K so like. Thing is. She knows im probably lying (cause im young and not from this country. No one would stay home for a month) so the way she responded was kinda pissed off that she cant prove me wrong or report me or anything - then in the middle of class she asked about my housemates

1) i have no control over them

2) your first question was already invasive and this is stupid

3) youve asked me a question that i cant answer correctly. If i say i dont know youll say i might have corona because my housemates probably brought it home. If i say they went out - same thing. If i say they stayed home - another obvious lie. I told her that they are all students and had class so I think they were home. Again. She was annoyed by this answer

She constantly makes side remarks about “foregners”

She wont translate the questions that students ask her to ask me - and when i understand them and answer she acts flustered and annoyed

Shes bad at english and writes shit incorrectly - gives it to me to cold read - then gets mad when i trip over shit thats written incorrectly

She changed the song early last month because I liked it

She talks to me like im a clown hindering the class - walking over and telling me (a person standing quietly waiting for instruction) that now the students must study - the way a parent would tell a 7 year old not to bother the sleeping dog.

I TRIED to have a normal conversation with her because she seemed to be trying and i felt bad. She said it was hot and cold off and on and told me what temperature it would he the next day in celcius. I just said oh. And felt the tention. So i tried to ease it by chuckling and telling her “sorry. You know how america uses Fahrenheit? I dont really understand celcius.” She immediately —- wait hold on

This school makes us write down our temperature in the morning as though that does ANYTHING to stop corona - they dont even check - she harrassed me upon walking in the door to WRITE DOWN MY TEMPERATURE

—- k so no. No easy conversation. She immediately got serious and went how do you understand celcius for your body temperate then??? I told her i convert it.

A couple periods late she inturrupted another teacher talking to me about class and stopped me from going to class to ask me ‘if you dont know celcius how do you write your temperature down in the morning?!?’’ I told her i have a japanese thermometer and just write down what it says. Then she tried to play if off and chuckled like - oh ha i was just wondering. Whats the difference (her face was like enraged before that btw) she asked what the average temperature in Fahrenheit is and i quickly spit out 98.6 while grabbing my book to leave for the class i was now running late for

Shes full on feuding with a boy who “CANT SPEAK JAPANESE” and is “NOT JAPANESE” she tried not to bitch but also bitch about him to me - through this i learned that his mom is Australian. He was born in Japan. Also if her english didnt suck so much she would know that hes not fluent in english

She like the other teachers ask me questions that they dont want answers to. And sometimes is not even just - i wanna write this sentence wrong - does it make sense

No. It doesnt (correct answer- anything you write is correct. Dont worry. Dont ask me. Your perfect)

A couple weeks ago she told me that the song the other teacher chose is a japanese song that was translated into english. She asked it its gramattically correct. I told her that songs dont need to be grammatically correct so its fine. Then she asked me if it makes sense. I told her that its a bit vague but its fine.

She didnt know what vague meant. She asked me to write it down so she could look it up later. Not sure how she took that as an insult but Im sure she did.

And the song is vague. Id figured out that it was a song that was either written for a weird tv show or translated from something else before she even told me

Shes always late for class. She doesnt even leave for class until the bell rings. If she walks in and i was talking with the students - she looks highly uncomfortable - so ive stopped talking to them before she arrives

She wont let them ask me questions. Only her (these past two points go for the other crappy teachers too)

She cant make up her mind whether she wants me to say hello first or her. She cant make up her mind on what she wants me to read or whether she wants me to stop at commas or read full paragraphs or what - and she gets annoyed when i cant read her mind avout it —the others do this too

She reads sentences she wrote (incorrectly) out loud even more wrong - but apparently (going from her face) even though she doesnt know the word for fucking SENTENCES - and calls them “englishes” she heard me add the s to a word that should have been plural but she wrote as singular. She never says the fucking plurals or adds them where they shouldnt - but of course she heard my quick slip of adding an s onto a fucking word

- which really just shows thats she pays way more attention trying to find me doing something wrong than literally ANYTHING ELSE she does

Theres more. Im tired. And so very stressed. Tomorrow i have a meeting after school which i told my company rhat if they want my time they should pay me for it and told them theyre welcome to come to my schools (the one i like and normally can he stress free and get home early from) station

They made up bs as to why they can pay others but not me but did say theyre gonna come to the station

Last tome with the fucking “hanging stuff up without permission” i was of couse told i was in the wrong (BECAUSE JAPANESE CAN DO NO WRONG) and forced to say that i need to communicate better 3 times

Howd i start this? Watch me get fired? Yea i was fired on like the 23rd last year. Watch me get fucking fired again - for again. One racist ass peice of shit teacher

“Well you just gotta suck it up and accept where you are on the food chain” k look. Do you know how much easier and less stressed id be if i was able to do that?! I just. CANT ok. I refuse to think that i am less of a person than any other person. People can treat me that wat and do all they want. But i refuse to think that i am lesser. I am a person. And if i have to respect them they should respect me. Its a reciprocal fucking thing i cant fucking kiss ass

I lived in a house with a woman who wanted me to kiss her ass - and i basically chose not to be treated like a dormat and pike she was my lord. And thus got mentally and emptionally abused for 24 years.

I cant fucking kiss ass. I can be polite. But i cant kiss fucking ass dude. I just cant