#there is so much tension in every scene w them it’s a mess

[atlabeth]

lil snippet from this hotch fic because it’s gonna be uhhhh a little longer than i thought

[senawashere]

You're still the one..

A/n: This song is so Jake Seresin. And also i realised i messed the time's and date's so be aware of it🫣 This is for @ohtobeleah 's Galentines day!!

Warnings: Mention of pregnancy and giving birth and mostly fluff (minors please still dont interact)

Word count:3,8 K

February 17 2024. 01.34 am

Jake Seresin never thought he would settle.

Jake Seresin never thought he would come home to freshly baked dinner almost every night.

Jake Seresin never thought he would come home from deployment with pure joy.

Jake Seresin never thought he would be a dad.

Jake Seresin also never thought he would be a husband. A great one.

But here he was being the best of him for his family.

One night, with his wife peacefully laying beside him and their two beautiful babies sleeping soundly in their shared room,Jake Seresin couldn't help but reflect on how the story of their love had begun.

As he lay there, the soft glow of the moonlight filtering through the curtains illuminated the room, casting a gentle aura over the scene. The hushed sounds of nighttime surrounded them, creating a tranquil atmosphere that contrasted with the high-octane tales of Jake’s daring adventures.

His mind drifted back to the Hard Deck, where the neon lights and pulsating beats had set the stage for their first meeting. Jake couldn't shake the memory of that night – the electric connection, the shared laughter, and the undeniable chemistry that had sparked between them. Little did he know that the chance encounter in the bar would evolve into a love story that now filled their shared space with warmth and joy.

August 18 2018:

The Hard Deck pulsed with the kind of energy that seemed to defy gravity, much like the Jake Seresin himself. Bright lights painted the room in vivid hues, casting an electric but also soft glow over the animated crowd. You, just another face in the buzzing sea of people, found solace in the dimly lit corner of the bar.

And then, he swaggered in, a living legend in khaki uniform and aviator sunglasses Jake Seresin, the talk of the town. His sandy blond,sleek hair and the unmistakable cocky grin made your heart flutter unexpectedly. As if guided by some unseen force, he ended up at the bar right beside you.

The air crackled with unspoken tension, a silent dialogue of glances exchanged beneath the pulsating beats. Penny must have noticed the incident because she leaned over to your ear and whispered encouragingly for you to break the ice.

"Fly any cool jets lately?" you asked, your attempt at nonchalance betrayed by the slight quiver in your voice,it wasn't expected.

He shot you a smirk, a glint of mischief in his eyes, and the conversation took off like a supersonic jet. Jake's tales of high-flying adventures and near misses filled the air, weaving a spell that drew you into his orbit. The chaotic sounds of the bar faded away as you found yourself captivated by his world.

“Do you think they are having fun?” Phoenix asked Rooster while sipping her beer.

“Nah,i guess not”

But your and his laughter became the soundtrack of the night, shared stories creating a bridge between two strangers who felt strangely connected.

The Hard Deck, with its bright ambiance and heady atmosphere, became the backdrop to a love story written in stolen glances and genuine smiles.

In the heartbeat of that night, you realized that Jake Seresin was not just a daring pilot but a soul with whom you shared an undeniable connection. The clinking of glasses and the distant hum of conversations faded into the background, leaving only the vibrant chemistry that sparked between you and the real-life Hangman, as the Hard Deck transformed into the unexpected stage for the beginning of something extraordinary.

And both of you were grateful for Hard Deck and Penny that night.

October 10 2019:

Life with Jake was fun.

Life with Jake was an exhilarating journey, an adventure marked by laughter, spontaneity, and a touch of unpredictability. From the moment he entered your world, it was as if a burst of vibrant energy had been injected into the everyday routine, transforming the mundane into a thrilling escapade.

His infectious zest for life was like a magnetic force, pulling you into a whirlwind of excitement. Every day was an opportunity for new experiences, whether it was exploring uncharted places or simply finding joy in the ordinary. Jake's playful spirit infused even the simplest moments with a sense of fun and wonder.

Together, you navigated the ups and downs with a shared sense of humor that made challenges feel more like temporary detours than roadblocks. Life with Jake was a rollercoaster of laughter, a soundtrack of inside jokes and spontaneous adventures that left a trail of fond memories.

What made it even more special was Jake's ability to find joy in the little things. Whether it was a spontaneous road trip, a homemade dinner, or just a quiet evening at home, he had a knack for turning the ordinary into something extraordinary.

It was in those everyday moments that you discovered the true meaning of happiness – the joy of simply being with someone who knew how to make every moment count.

Life with Jake wasn't just fun; it was a celebration of love, friendship, and shared experiences. He taught you that life's journey is not just about reaching a destination but about savoring the joy of the ride. With Jake by your side, every day was an opportunity to embrace the thrill of the unknown, and you wouldn't have had it any other way.

Especially after little over a year, Jake knelt on one knee one morning as both of you were preparing breakfast. As you turned around in your seat to grab the toast, you saw him on just one knee, holding a blue velvet box, delicately opening it to reveal a slim, gold ring with a dainty not so big diamond in the center – a thoughtful choice you knew he had made, understanding how he moved in minimalist jewelry.

"I had a speech, and - aside from the fact that I have a lot of things to say about you but, I don't remember anything else now and more than that but look I'm madly in love with you. And ı can't think of a day where ı open my eyes and not see you or going to bed without you being the last person ı talk to and I just - Screw it, Y/N, I can't imagine a life without you in it, and just - marry me, please?"

His eyes were already shining before taking a deep breath, his lips trembling as he bitten his lower lip, his lips already pink, and there he was proposing in his black fitted shirt and in his red gingham pajama bottom.

You screamed, placing your hands over your heart, shaking your head as you cried, "Yes! Yes, oh my God, yes, hundred times yes!" Before you could even stand up, you found yourself throwing yourself to the floor, where he hugged you tightly.

Also, you remember that celebrating only with close friends and family in your home was very humble.

You didn't know too many people and you two didn't want a huge ceremony. So the backyard was the cutest place to get married.

As your bridesmaids Phoenix, Halo, and Penny took responsibility for decorating the backyard of your shared home with all the decors, illuminating the trees and walls.

The moment Jake saw you in the simple white wedding dress, it became a moment etched forever in everyone's mind who was present.

He was crouched, pulling you inside for a hug before closing his open mouth in disbelief; you were also laughing shyly as you pulled him to yourself.

He wore a white suit, with pink embroidered flowers on the sides resembling the headpiece you wore.

Polaroids were taken, all the photos were captured on film, making everything about the night,everyone was having the time of their lives.

Whole dagger squad was there and they were the life and the soul of the party.

Jake’s sisters,his family and your siblings and family were there.

Even admiral Beau came. Maverick brought him; he also brought Ice.

The night was more fun, more enchanting and more emotional than anyone expected.

“They said, "I bet they'll never make it"

But just look at us holding on

We're still together, still going strong..”

January 30 2020:

Three years ago, on January 30, you remember telling Jake that you were pregnant. Technically, you screamed it out.

Both of you decided to attend Shania Twain’s show at Madison Square Garden, given your shared admiration for her.

He just came from a 4 week deployment and you knew he needed a break, especially during tense times.

So you planned a trip to New York because he loved there but honestly who doesn't love New York?

But something happened almost before 5 days before the trip.

You got sick. It all started with a lack of appetite, and then suddenly, you felt like eating everything and anything. You blamed hormones until morning sickness kicked in.

If there was one thing you absolutely hated, it was nausea. You remember waking up shaking and retching, your body still feeling the need to rush to the toilet despite not having eaten anything that morning.

For the first three days of these incidents, you were alone. Jake was about to return from the deployment.

Not wanting to disturb him and worry him, you didn't tell him anything.

Whenever he asked why you looked unwell, you simply told him it was just nausea and nothing serious.

One day after Jake went out with Bradley, you remember calling your best friend,Phoenix, asking her to bring you a pregnancy test, choosing to avoid any tabloid talk.

Your heart was pounding, legs bouncing,palms sweaty, and nausea had already begun when you followed the instructions, waiting anxiously.

And then it happened; a scream of disbelief, one hand covering your mouth while the other tightly held the test - you were pregnant.

You remember Jake loving many things, many people, and many abstract ideas like love. You knew he loved babies and kids, often talking about them with you, mentioning seeing you both building a family.

So, after visiting the obstetrician and learning you were five weeks pregnant, you were dazed and excited to tell Jake but decided to do it in a different setting.

Four days after your visit, you and Jake were at Madison Square Garden singing along with Shania Twain.

You stood in front of Jake, leaning your back against him, his arms wrapped around your waist, your hands holding onto his arms, both of you swaying to “You’re still the one’ " while his chin rested on your shoulder.

When you moved slightly to look at him, Jake gazed back at you while singing.

“You're still the one I run to

The one that I belong to

You're still the one I want for life

You're still the one that I love

The only one I dream of

You're still the one I kiss goodnight..”

He kissed your lips and lightly tapped your forehead. Slowly pulling back, he smiled at you.

And then you said it.

"I'm pregnant."

His eyebrows shot up, leaning closer, "I can't hear you!"

You grinned, turning in his arms, "I'm pregnant! Five weeks pregnant!"

His world stopped, mouth forming an 'O' shape as his eyes widened,

"Y/N, are you kidding?!"

With a surprised smile, he asked, lips stretching into a grin, "My love, are you for real?" he asked.

Nodding with joy, you brought his hand from his cheek to your stomach, saying, "You're going to be a dad!"

His breakdown, tears streaming down, biting his lip as he threw his head back, red-nosed,his adam apple bobbing and crying with veins visible on his forehead, hugging you before crying into your shoulder – the only thing he needed to cry into before crying to your shoulder.

His eyes were teary as he held you, feeling him pulling back to rest his forehead against yours, moving his hands to the sides of your neck, "I love you. I love you so much," pulling you back into a hug, one hand moving towards the back of your head, the other on your back, and bringing you closer.

The 9 month pregnancy was smooth and emotional.

The 9 months of your pregnancy were painful, but there wasn't much else to feel aside from your love for Jake's incredible support and assistance and your admiration for your daughter, Emma Seresin.

Since the moment Emma came into the world, you knew she had wrapped her tiny finger around Jake's.

Your daughter was a bond between both of you, but you took pride in her character and personality at such a young age.

When Emma turned 3, you felt proud of how you and Jake could chat with her, even if it was about Jake’s job or hard topics like that and you loved every moment of him talking about how much Emma loved strawberry chapstick or how her nail color was important for her.

On a day when a familiar nausea and change in appetite reminded you of a late period, one question lingered in your mind.

So, over a meal, you brought it up to your husband, who was struggling to eat with your daughter in his lap.

Long story short, you were pregnant – again.

June 26 2023:

You, your husband, and your daughter were sitting in your backyard, allowing Emma to get some vitamin D. While you were writing in your journal, both of you were on the swings, and Emma was playing with her toys and running around, Jake was reading a book beside you.

‘’Mommy?’’

"Yes, sweetheart?"

She ran towards you, putting both of her hands on her knees before looking at your eight-month-pregnant belly and grinning, "What's in there?"

Jake chuckled, putting his book aside to pay closer attention.

"Your baby sibling is in there," you smiled at her.

"But how? Can I sit in there too?"

You and Jake chuckled at her question. "You used to sit in there, darling. But then, you were born three years ago."

Emma frowned, looking at you. "I want to go back in."

You looked at Jake, silently asking for his help.

Before lifting her into your lap, he leaned forward, hands wrapping around her underarms. "But your sibling won't have enough space then."

"I don't care," she whined, crossing her arms and looking down while talking, her lips quivering.

"Your sibling needs all the space to grow up and play with you. Don't you want that?" You asked gently, one hand on your knee.

"But he'll take my toys."

"You can share all your toys with him, sweetheart. He'll share his toys with you too." You chuckled, fearing she wouldn't like her sibling. It was something neither you nor Jake was ready for.

"But, but, you and dad will buy more toys for him.I don't want him." She said with a whimper, arms crossed and looking down, her lips trembling.

You and Jake shared a look before turning back to your three-year-old.

"Emma," Jake gently called her name, looking at her without lowering his gaze, "Sweetie, look at me, please." Emma slowly looked at Jake, allowing both of you to see her teary eyes. "You know Mommy and Daddy love you, and we'll always love you, right?"

You reassured her, saying, 'We love you very much, baby, and nothing will change that,'" you said, placing one hand on your knee, "We're excited for your sibling to meet you. He loves you too."

"Didn't you get excited the other day to show him your room?" Jake asked, rubbing her back gently.

"Yes," she murmured.

"You have so much to show and teach him. You can be his first best friend. Isn't that nice?"

As if understanding what was said, Emma slowly nodded her head.

"We love you, sweetheart. Forever," Jake said, leaning to give her a kiss on the forehead.

Emma turned to her father, crossing her arms and raising two fingers, one for you and one for Jake, "Promise?"

As if your hearts melted right there, you would cry as you locked your pinky finger with hers, watching Jake do the same.

"We promise."

But nobody warned you about the hell you'd go through when your daughter started to envy Calvin.

The day Emma entered the hospital room, holding hands with Javy, and looked at you lying in the hospital bed next to Calvin, making baby sounds as he moved his arms and legs,his eyes wide open, you knew it was somehow going good.

She seemed very welcoming.

Jake sat on the other side of his son, playing with your hair as a non-verbal way to thank you and comfort you after the pain you went through. His lips were fixed in a smile; his heart was pounding with happiness at the addition of the new healthy family members.

Emma looked at her parents, unable to see the middle sibling. She was overwhelmed because she knew she would meet her brother.

"Hello, sweetheart!" Jake grinned at her, bending slightly and opening his arms. Before kissing her cheek, he hugged her tightly as he carried her to sit on his hip, watching her eyes immediately shift to the newborn baby.

"Meet Calvin, buddy." Tired but with a smile on your face, you spoke, hoping she would take the change lightly.

Well, at least you hoped so.

But as Emma threw herself onto Jake, burying her head on his shoulder, crying, it was expected.

Javy and his wife didn't know how to help. Just like Bradley and Natasha.

"Hey, hey, what's the problem?" Jake asked, rubbing her back as she cried.

"I don't like him," Emma said, dragging him, her arms wrapped around Jake's neck.

You both know she wasn't a kid like this and it surprised you both.

Your heart broke, and Jake's smile faded as if triggered by the screams of your daughter, Calvin started crying too. You sat down, gently picking him up into your arms, placing him against your chest, soothing him, and supporting the back of his head as you pleaded for almost everything to be done by him.

Until Jake locked onto Emma after realizing she was causing the crying. He got out of the small room and stopped in the corridor, holding her, bouncing softly to calm her down.

"Come on, baby, please calm down," he said with a sigh, "Why don't you like Calvin?" he muttered, rubbing her back.

Emma sniffled, pulled back, but while keeping her father's head down, she moved her hand to touch Jake's necklace - the one you and Emma gave him on Father's Day, "Because-because-because he's little and needs more attention, and you won’t love me anymore.."

Jake sat in a chair, still holding his daughter in the same way. "What makes you think that?"

"He will have more love because he's little and needs more attention."

Jake took a deep breath and let the words drown him. While it was true that the little one needed necessary and more attention, he didn't know how to explain to the older one that it wasn't the case.

"When you were a little baby," he started, looking at her, "Mommy and Daddy were everywhere with you. You wanted your parents,us, with you all the time. You cried when we were asleep, spit up too much on us," Jake chuckled to himself, remembering those moments and realizing how everything felt like just yesterday, "You always wanted your mommy and daddy with you. And we never left you," he finished, "So, what makes you think we'd leave you now, sweetheart?"

Emma didn't respond.

"Your brother can't talk yet. He can't say when he's hurt, he doesn't even know the taste of your favorite blueberry pancakes. And we have to make sure he does all these things just like you. But the thing is," Jake leaned to whisper in her ear as if sharing a secret, "Mommy and Daddy can't do it alone. We can't do it without you."

Emma slowly looked at Jake, her face with furrowed eyebrows.

"We promised, sweetheart. We promised to love you forever. Have we ever broken a promise?" He watched her nod, "And we won't. So what do you say? Can you give your brother a chance? Actually, he's quite funny." Jake smiled at her.

"Is he funnier than you?" She asked.

Jake laughed, "Much funnier! You just have to look closely."

Emma giggled quietly.

"Mommy is so excited for you to meet Calvin, do you know that? She was telling me about all the numbers you can teach him, all the pictures you two will take. And what he'll get you for Christmas."

"Can he get me a book about stars? With pictures?" She asked excitedly.

Jake grinned, filled her face with kisses, and heard her giggle, knowing it was one of his favorite sounds, "Tell him."

When Jake stopped, Emma sighed, lowering her shoulder, "Okay, Daddy. I'll say to him.."

"Thank you." He smiled gratefully, "Shall we go back?"

When your husband hugged your daughter and walked in with her in his arms, you couldn't know what to expect until you saw your them

Shy and embarrassed Emma, after sharing a glance with Javy,and hugged Jake after returning to her place.

Calvin had also returned to his place, and silence had returned.

Emma looked at him again, finally noticing how small his hands were, and got curious. Reluctantly, she leaned down a bit with the intention of poking his hand.

But the moment she touched him, it was the moment Calvin wrapped his fingers around hers, making her smile.

"He's holding my finger!" She squealed with delight, "You were right, Daddy. He is funny."

"Yes, you just need to get to know him a bit more," Jake said, bending down and kissing Calvin’s hand before looking at you and whispering an ‘’ı love you so much’’

He was happy that you were still the one to love.

02.05 am February 17:

There was a tired smile formed on his face after he thought about memories.

Beside him, his wife, you stirred in your sleep, a serene expression on your face.

That made him realize how late it was.

Jake turned to face your sleeping form. Moved some stray of your hair and kissed your soft cheek. and while he was looking at you he noticed something.. Jake's heart swelled with gratitude for the life you both had built together.

Your shared room became a sanctuary, adorned with the echoes of laughter,after some rough night; soft pantings and ‘’ı love you’s’’, sometimes a place where you comforted each other and the soft breathing of your sleeping kids, and the quiet acknowledgment of a love that had deepened with time.

In the stillness of the night, surrounded by the tangible evidence of your shared journey – the woman he loved, you, and the two precious souls you both had brought into the world together– Jake couldn't help but marvel at the unexpected beauty of how their story had unfolded. The Hard Deck, with its bright yellow lights and adrenaline-fueled beginnings, now seemed like a distant, yet cherished, memory in the symphony of their family life.

And he was grateful that you were still the one who he kissed for goodnight.

I loved writing this 🥹

I'm tagging people who might be interested:@ohtobeleah @sebsxphia @callsigns-haze @sailor-aviator @sorchathered @greenorangevioletgrass @teacupsandtopgun @roosterforme @floydsglasses @floydsglasses @lyn-js @seresinsbrat @torchflies @its-dee-lovely @its-the-pilot @friedchips94 @bradshawsbaddie @hardballoonlove @perfectprettypisces @topguncortez @hangmanapologist

[loverslodge]

Trusting Love

Summery: You are a nemeton born prophet and Stiles maybe had a difficulty trusting you while you kept on falling in love with him

Pairing: Stiles Stilinski x Reader

Warnings: mention of trauma, angst, fluff

A/N: this is my very first work. very excited to dive into writing the world of fanfictions that have occupied my brain.

The fight with Nogitsune had ended. Stiles had returned to his pack and Scott was glad to have his best friend back. but there was still tension between them. unsaid, they both were under a guilt. Stiles was living with the guilt of harming his pack while Scott was guilty of not being the friend he used to be.

But in that scene, there was someone else too. You. You became their friends when you came new to the school. But your new arrival was overshadowed by Kira’s arrival, the clumsy kitsune who immediately became a big part of the pack. You were brought into this mess when Deaton found a birthmark on your shoulder that looked like Nemeton. You had walked in the animal clinic with your cat for her routine checkup when this happened. Deaton helped find the displaced feeling of belonging in you. He helped you with the research that determined that you were born of Nemeton and that made you a beacon to the supernatural as well. That made you understand why you kept on having strange prophetic visions. They would come to you when you least expected them. But one of those visions saved Allison Argent, the anchor and soulmate of the pack’s alpha.

That’s how you met the pack and that is how you know how Scott and Stiles are feeling towards each other. Something in you wanted to make things right but the distance between the two kept on growing and the anxiety of not being close enough to either of them to talk about this was also not helpful. Soon, Scott had a beta Liam and the distance grew.

Stiles was always there for Scott though and you saw that. Your eyes, involuntarily, would always follow Stiles. You knew that Stiles was deeply into Lydia and now was dating Malia, who was the first one to lend you a friendly hand other than Kira. The girls of the pack had taken you in quicker than the boys which you understood.

But hearing good things about you drew in the boys one by one except Scott who trusted you as soon as you saved Allison. It started with Issac when you helped him get hold of his wolf because he hallucinated that he was trapped in a closed space. It came to you as a surprise when Derek started trusting you after you rushed into his loft and dragged him out before he would blow up along with his house. Liam came to you one day with a little claw problem but you fixed it up by helping him get out of his own head. Even Parrish took a liking to you when you helped him get closer to discovering who he is by providing vital information. It was Stiles who took his sweet time. He had gone through so much so you understood his distance, especially when you were born of the thing that nearly killed him and his friends.

Lydia was the first one to tell you that she knows you have a crush on Stiles. Allison overheard her and now she knows too. The three of you decided not to tell anything to Kira because of her clumsiness. She is more likely to spill secrets than turn into an actual fox which was a high possibility and telling Malia was completely out of the question.

Pack meetings would happen often and being that close to Stiles was getting out of hand. Your brain would fuzz up and your heart won't calm down. Every supernatural in the room probably knows about the raised heartbeat by now. It was Scott who held you back after the meeting. Lydia was waiting for you in her car. “Is everything alright?” Scott asked you worriedly. “Yes I am fine. Nothing is wrong. Everything is ok.” You rambled before stopping yourself.

Stiles walked into the room to talk to Scott and your heart skipped a beat. Scott’s eyes widened and you knew he found out. Before he could say anything, you jumped up and took off without a second glance. You sit in the car with Lydia when you let your mind drift to Stiles. You have always wanted to know what he thought about you. You muster the courage to ask Lydia to do you a little favour. She smirked as if she already saw your question coming and agreed to follow up on it. But you had to meet Stiles, way before you got the answer.

You became the pack historian and researcher along with Stiles. Because of your lack of superpowers except prophetic visions, you weren’t exactly an active member on the field. Stiles, having more experience than you since the beginning of the tale, held a bit of a superiority to you regarding research and history. So you decided to do something about your lack of work. You pulled a few all nighters but finally finished writing the tale of true alpha and his pack with utter detail.

You brought your document with you when you had to work one on one with Stiles. It was last minute really. Till the last moment, you thought Scott and Allison were joining, mostly to help you stay focused. But now, here you are, with a bit of a grumpy Stiles and fuzzed brained you in Stiles’ kitchen. Even his dad had a night shift tonight so it was literally just the two of you.

The papers were scattered all over the counter and all the books you could find on the topic were also all over the counter and dining table. Stiles was standing near his crime board. He looked so hot. Not to be crass but you could not think anymore! Your research abandoned, your eyes roamed all over his body. You did not realize and you are pretty sure nobody else has that Stiles had started growing muscles. His freckles spread across his face and arms made him look like covered in stars. His hair looked so soft and silky, you wanted to run your hands through them. His eyes narrowed in concentration and the crinkle on his forehead made you wish you could kiss it away. His lips, oh dear his lips were so kissable. You could not move on from his lips till you heard him clear his throat.

Stiles was looking at you with raised eyebrows. You stood up from the chair and walked to the kitchen counter. “Here, see this? This is the closest to what we have been looking into. I think this is the direction we should go with.” You point to the chapter in the book and few other printed pages that match your story.

You were so much trying to avoid his eyes that you didn't realize when he stood near you, almost enveloping you into his arms. You were trapped between his arms. His chin almost rested over your shoulder and his chest squishing you against the counter. You suddenly became more aware of the situation. Was he doing this on purpose? Does he like you? Did he know you are in love with him and was teasing you?

You straightened yourself and turned around just to find his lips almost on yours. You look up to see his eyes on your lips. Your thoughts, barely formed, are shattered, when Stiles’ lips meet yours. Your eyes close itself and your lips kiss him back. Your hands make their way to his neck and pull him even closer. His one hand wraps around your waist and the other holds your face. The kiss grew heated, urgent. His hand slipped in your shirt but just to hold you tighter. You finally had the chance to roam your hands in his hair. Your breathing was going ragged and his scent had filled in your heart.

He slowly pulled away and looked right in your eyes. You were looking for questions but he was not going to answer them. The look in his eyes was bright enough to tell you that what happened was a mistake and should never have happened. You pick up your bag and laptop and walk out of the door leaving Stiles standing right where it happened.

You told Lydia, Scott and Allison everything. You knew that Stiles had told Scott about what had happened and you knew that Scott knew what Stiles was feeling. But you did not want to know. Your fear of rejection had taken over you and you left the question at the back of your mind.

Stiles did everything to avoid you. Even in the classroom, he pretended to study. You sighed and dragged yourself through the day. The kiss just won't leave your mind. It gave you tingles, butterflies, hell, the whole zoo was still jumping in you every time you think about it. You confess to yourself that you were aroused. Not that it was shocking since thinking of Stiles was usually your way to enjoy yourself. You did research on your own and forwarded your findings to Scott.

Lydia tried to talk to you about Stiles but you cut her off and told her you were not in the mood. Two weeks had passed since the kiss and every time you saw Stiles, he avoided you very obviously. Scott would always look at you apologetically before running off after Stiles. The pack divided itself into two. Malia was also nowhere to be seen. You wanted to talk to her. You wanted her to know that stealing Stiles was never your intention. You talked to Kira as well. She understood why you did not tell her and forgave you. Allison, Lydia and Kira arranged an intervention for Malia to get her to talk to you. Malia would not say anything. She lets you finish talking for the first time before jumping to conclusion. Once you were done, she sighed and held your hand. She told you that she had broken up with Stiles way before any of this happened. Stiles had grown distant and the pack took up so much of their time, that a breakup made much more sense. She told you she figured you liked him but did not say anything till you told her yourself. It seemed that things were healing around you.

Scott had run out of patience. He wanted Stiles to not mop around and so he gathered the rest of the pack and ran a plan. He trapped you and Stiles in Derek’s loft. Derek was against it but then again, he wasn't exactly around to oppose. Scott told you that this is an important pack meeting and this time you cannot avoid Stiles. You said yes. You showed up only to have the loft door locked behind you. You look around to find Stiles sitting on the sofa with his head in his hands.

You walk up to him and ask him if he is alright. He looks up and you see tired eyes. Worry take over you and sit next to him with your hand on his back, caressing him. “Are you alright? You need to sleep, Stiles.” Your soft voice makes Stiles look at you. “Why, Y/N?” he whispered. “Why what?” His question confused you. “Why did you let me kiss you? Why did that kiss leave me senseless? Why do I trust you even though I don't want to? Why?” Stiles’ questions stumped you.

“I cannot answer any of those questions but one. I let you kiss me because I wanted you to.” You gulped. It was time to tell him how you felt and you were not going to hold back today. “I let you kiss me because I am in love with you.” You move away from Stiles, ready for rejection.

You feel his hand on your wrist and before you know, he pulls you on him. His head rests on the armrest of the sofa and your face lands very close to his face. He wraps his arms around you and traps you on him. Your eyes widen. You don't know what has gotten over Stiles. He lifts his head and brushes his lips against yours. You capture his lips and hold his face. You lay his head on the armrest and this time, you control the pace.

The kiss was slow, soft. Stiles put his hand in your hair, angling you towards more passion. His other arm lifts your shirt and snakes his arm around your exposed waist. The kiss got more urgent but you wanted to hear Stiles say that he at least liked you. But Stiles’ kiss would not let you. He moved his lips from your lips to your neck. Your moans fill up the empty loft. He nibbles your neck, trying to leave a mark. You run your hand through his hair and your moans vibrate in his ears. Satisfied, he kisses your cheek and lifts your face to look you in the eye.

“I do like you. It might take me time to reach love but I would like to be your boyfriend. I really do like you.” He sits up with you still on his lap. He leans his forehead on yours and kisses the tip of your nose.

“Maybe this is why you trust me?” You brush his hair in place. His hands in your hair, detangling them. His soft gaze is on her. He cannot believe he was ignoring his feelings all this time.

He saw the pack trust you but the Nogitsune had messed him up. He wanted to talk to you but the pack was always near you and then he started dating Malia, just because. Maybe he wanted her attention. He got jealous seeing her talking to other pack members. It made him question if he was good enough for her. He had lost opportunities. Malia breaking up with him was probably the best thing that happened to him. The night they had to research together, he was thrilled. He pretended to stare at the crime board longer than necessary when he saw you staring at him. He liked how it made him feel. He couldn't hold himself back. He had to kiss you and he did. It felt like a relief, like he could finally breathe. And now, after a long time agonizing, thanks to Scott, he was able to kiss her again and tell her he wanted to be with her.

[mlobsters]

supernatural s8e20 pac-man fever (w. robbie thompson)

(same sam, same. every day)

okay. OKAY. this is very reminiscent of the ghost ship xfiles episode. the music in one scene in the hallways was used in the crow too so i did a little post about it here but it's one of the best (maybe the best???) sequences in the entire series and so i had to include it in its entirety here and now (eternal crush on gillian anderson started in the early 90s and she's such a doll in the 40s getup)

supernatural s8e20 (night hop by benny carter) / the x-files s6e3 triangle (hot liquorice by dick walter)

mitch pileggi aka skinner aka not-so-good-grandpa also briefly appears in the xfiles clip :)

same vibes. (hannibal s1e9 trou nomand)

DEAN In the neighborhood? How the hell does she know where we are? SAM Uh, well, she doesn't. Not exactly, at least. It says she tracked our cells to a twenty mile radius, then the signal went out. Huh. This place must be in some kinda, like, Bermuda Triangle.

lol

sweetness ♥️

CHARLIE Well, after you guys left, I dug into all things monsters. I'm a wee bit obsessive. If "wee bit" means completely. I also found this series of books, by a Carver Edlund? [SAM and DEAN exchange awkward looks] Did those books really happen? CHARLIE (cont'd) Wow. That is some meta madness. [to DEAN] Thanks for saving the world and stuff. [to SAM] Sorry you have zero luck with the ladies.

the awkwardness of this situation if you think about it for more than a second is off the charts

CHARLIE What about, uh, Castiel? He seems helpful, and dreamy.

not the word choice i'd expect but okay

DEAN He's MIA, with a tablet of his own, doing God knows what. I mean, to be honest this whole thing is... I mean, Sam's a tough son of a bitch, but... Cas is saying that these trials are messing with him in ways that even he can't heal. CHARLIE If it's any consolation, having read your history, there is pretty much nothing the Winchesters can't do if they work together.

pretty sure i said "that's nice" out loud

CHARLIE Must be nice, having a brother, someone to always watch your back.

not that their thing is on any scale of normal. also *squints* whatcha gettin at here, show. are we adopting charlie?

DEAN Nuh-uh. Back on the horse, kiddo, come on.

operation adopt-a-sister engaged

same, charlie, same.

hey, it's jason mendoza from the good place! didn't recognize his face with the hair being up but his voice immediately rang the bell

the good place s1e8 most improved player - manny jacinto as jason mendoza

DEAN I know you wanna help, I do, but— SAM Dean, you cannot take care of the both of us. I need to be out here. Play through the pain, right? DEAN Come on man, don't quote me to me.

but dean taking care of you is kind of a non-negotiable you know that

CHARLIE So the boys said they noticed something on the body's arm before it covered them in years of future therapy. Said it looked like a blue handprint. DEAN Sounds like something you should read about. In a book. At home. SAM I'm not leaving until we find out whatever is doing this. DEAN Whatever. [stalks off] CHARLIE You guys fight like an old married couple.

JUST LET ME TAKE CARE OF YOU 😡🔪

CHARLIE Alright, well, breakthrough means snack time to me, and I wanna just stretch my legs. I will pick us up some grub, and unlike you, Sam, I will not forget the pie.

sweetness x100

isn't it nice to have someone else they can be affectionate with and there's no need to worry about ~romantic tension~

none of the emotional trauma of the previous episode, some very solid heartwarming moments, not too many cringe inducing moments of embarrassment. i'll take it, robbie

[agumonger]

look i'm sorry to say this due to the context at hand *gestures* and i know that hollywood is a cesspool of terrible human beings with terrible interests but yeah, i did. i did watch deadpool and wolverine

and i just

i can NOT stay silent about the sheer homoerotic tension between the two protagonists. they really took one of the most terminally straight, pent-up, macho and yet male-fantasy superheroes and played the fantasy completely straight, going all the way into insane fanservice. they saw the vision and they went for it

it's a testosterone filled movie, very manlike, very action-packed, hysterical as usual, very tryhard edgy but on purpose in a weird meta-ironic way, and i left the theater TERRIBLY HORNY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M S---

like you canNOT just fucking end the movie on a climatic scene where, not only does wolverine FINALLY don his iconic mask in a movie and look ridiculously hot in it (and the suit tbh) BUT in the peak of tension his clothes literally evaporate for no reason and you get SEVERAL shots of his glistening pecs and abs with glorious music bein all like "this is what you wanted" after like two hours of very much intentional homoerotic tension that you know isn't going to go anywhere bc wolverine is straight as hell (even though deadpool is most likely pan or whatever i can't tell)

EXCEPT SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MOVIE THEY LIKE. UM?????????????? HAVE SEX???????????? BUT IT'S NOT SEX????????????? BUT IT IS??????????? HANG ON HANG ON

ok so like they're inside this car right... in the middle of a forest... no one's around... they get all deep and emotional and then they get super mad at each other and they start a super gory and violent fight and they thrash the car and it's all a terribly bloody mess and then the fucking Camera Pans Out And The Car Is Shaking Like They Were Doing The Thing and They stay Like That for The Entire Night and there's this weirdly sensual but hateful but playful energy all the way throughout and it's like IT'S SO CHAOTIC WHAT THE CAPITAL W WHAT

THEY BASICALLY MADE A HATE SEX SCENE THAT'S NOT A HATE SEX SCENE BUT IT IS

The whole movie seems to explore this complicated relationship we have with toxic masculinity in which we hate it and it's bad but it's also kind of weirdly sexy and hot but it's also ridiculous and and-

ARE YOU SEEING MY VISION

AND IT'S LIKE... THE STRAIGHT GUY AUDIENCE IS SO SILENT ABOUT THIS????? DO THEY NOT SEE IT... but again, it's marvel, it's disney, OF COURSE this movie is not queer at all

but it also kinda? sorta? is? maybe? because it's very clearly marketed at straight guys

but then they add these moments of sheer macho extravaganza where the unintentional eroticism of the testosterone induced madness teeters on the line between unintentional and intentional except it's very much intentional but it's also a joke

i have not once seen any comment about this movie being woke, and it isn't, don't get me wrong. but it has all of the elements that would make Those People cry "woke madness", just arranged in such a way that it's barely a joke even though they somehow managed to fit

what's 90% of the way into a hate sex scene featuring the two male protagonists but it isn't but it absolutely FEELS that way if you *Know*

a straight-up fan service scene that is every masked man fan's wet dream come true

i think they're not saying anything because the movie is very much celebrating that brand of masculinity so they're like "hell yeah" but it's just so... you know what i mean?

it makes me wonder how much homoeroticism can straight guys literally EAT UP as long as it's suposed to be "a joke" and "funny" and "ironic"

did i get queerbaited in 2024? well no. like i didn't really expect them to start dating at ALL (they didn't). but it's like. funny. i'm almost positive they wanted to dare a lot of the male audience to stay convinced they're straight and not have a single hard-on at any point during the movie. while at the same time steering clear of any accusations because "comedy guys!!!!!!!!!!!! so funny!!!! haha!!!" and yet no one says anything because if you do, oh maybe you're just projecting, are you gaaaaaaay?????

all i'm saying is the car scene was as hot as all hell and LOWKEY kind of a serve idek i'm tired my brain is tired i am not immune to queerbait propaganda take me boys i am Weak and painfully basic and cringe

but also i hate the uhhh two wokeness jokes in the movie they're stale and bad (though deadpool does use the singular they pronoun once without even flinching? "groundbreaking" i know i KNOW leave me aloneeeeee afknlzsgjsd)

sorry for saying anything good about mainstream media (you know why but mentioning it in this frivolous ass post just feels wrong)

anyway if you actually read this thank you and i'm sorry you had to experience this from me. here have a flowe 🌸

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

Currently watching - October

Because I love a good little list 😊

Regularly updated during the month - colored = finished

This may contain spoilers!

Currently airing

Choco Milk Shake (2/10)

🥰🥰🥰🥰 This is so good! I love it! I enjoyed every little second of this first episode. I hope it will go on like that. The story about Choco and Milk, a cat and a dog becoming human and live with their former owner. The acting is really good! I can see the dog and the cat in them 😅 So far perfect casting!

Love in the air (11/13)

I like how much Phayu cares about Rain. I definitely have my problems with some of the things that happend and I guess there are going to be things I don't like in the upcoming episodes, but overall I enjoy it. And yes I had a very big issue with the 8th and 9th episode...what the fuck? That is all I am gonna say.

Kabe-Koji-Nekoyashiki-kun Desires to be Recognized (4/8)

It is so well shot and edited. I was just blown away by the art. The story…Well we are in episode one, but I guess it will be interesting. I am interested. The story of two people who meet again after years, one an artist and the other an idol. And I really want to know what happened that their paths drifted away like that and of course if and how their paths come together again 😊

Eien no Kino (2/8)

I am curious in what direction this will go, but I did enjoy the first episode. I like the aesthetics of the show. The way scenes were shot and the coloring. Really pretty!

Ghost Host, Ghost House (4/8)

This one is a funny one, well for now. I love the family 😅 The two mains have so much chemistry! The plot is intersting, Kevin and Pluem are soft and tender and passionate and so in love and yet there are some secrets and wounds which need to heal. And I am here for the ride. This show is so good!

War of Y (10/20)

I finally watched the next chapter...And yeah, I think I can't watch the stories week for week. I need to wait until one chapter is closed and binge the five episodes. This is one of the few bls I watch with a lot of tension in my body and no smile on my lips...I need to calm a bit before I can dive into the next drama...

Big Dragon (3/8)

I would say a promising start. Kind of a dub con situation on both sides? The main characters are both not really sympathetic😅 I like the bodyguards, if you can call them that. And I indeed like the chemistry between the mains.

Roommates of Poongduck 304 (6/8)

This one I like...Perhaps it is the enemies working and forced living together thing for me. I enjoy those storylines way too much! Overall it's funny and I enjoy their dynamic and acting so much more than in Kissable Lips.

My Tooth Your Love (4/12)

I guess this could be called a nightmare for people with a dental phobia. But it looks so messy and lovable and I am totally in for it! I enjoyed the acting and the sister is so bossy, but in a good way 😀 Never thought I would like a series about a dentist this much! But I do!

My only 12 % (12/14)

Okay, I can see why people like it. It is growing on me a lot with more episodes in. And now I can't watch any further because I want to know how this ends and I can't watch those two hurting. But I am still not fond of the amount of times the name "Cake" is said...This is really unpleasant for my ears 🙉

Fahlanruk (7/12)

This series is a mess! Fah is a dominant prick who tries to get his man by forcing him to everything (besides sex)! The dialogues are crap, the acting is sometimes really not that good, the chemistry…I don’t know. At this point I don’t know what story the series wants to tell us. You can’t be friends with benefits? If you are persistent enough your love/fuck interest will give in to you? What is it? But I have the time of my life watching this mess and with episode 5 it has happend...I am invested 😒

Ai Long Nhai (5/12)

Ai likes Nhai. Nhai kind of likes Ai. To test if their relationship could have a future they decide to test-date for a month and show all their habits, good and bad, in front of each other. That is what I got from the subtitles 😂 They are a mess 😅 So funny and yet so frustrating, because sometimes you just don’t get what they are saying at all 😂

To Sir, with love (2/28)

The first episodes are on youtube with english subs! First episode told us about their history and of their family. I really can't stand the secondary wife and her maid. Hateful bitches! But I like Bua. She would have been a great mother and in a way she is more of a mother to the children than their mums.

Self (3/6)

I have my problems with mirrors, so this one was kind of creepy for me, but I am intrigued how this is going on and if there are more episodes than two!

Remember Me (3/12)

Okay what happend? I am emotional invested in this story! Why did it become so good within two episodes? I love the domesticity and the wholesomeness of the third episode so much! It touched me and moved me and now I am looking forward to the next episode!

2 Moons: The Ambassador (3/12)

This might be the first series I will drop. And I watched Check Out...But the subtitles are a mess, the acting is cringy and the story is boring...okay, I am on ep 2, so perhaps there is some good plot coming, but right now I can't see it.

Already broadcasted series

Fish upon the sky (2/12)

I don't know how to feel about this. I don't like Pi that much, but the series managed to make me cry with their first episode. Of course I want to see where this jorney is taking me. I catch myself weirdly grinning from ear to ear and that is a good sign most of the times 😅

Mama Gogo (2/10)

There are too many series on the side to satisfy my need for second-hand embarrassment that I’ve neglected Mama Gogo a bit. There are sexy dancing men…so I will definitely keep watching, really!

Finished in October

Series

180 degree longitude passes through us (8/8 on Gaga) - very highly recommended

Damn, THIS WAS SO GOOD. The cinematography, the acting, the relationships, the tension. I am blown away! Every episode delivered. Definitely one of the best series I have watched, like ever! If you like sophisticated stuff, please give this a try. 10 out of 10 longing looks

Once Again (8/8 on Viki and Gaga) - highly recommended

This is a unique one and got me by surprise. I loved it even if I have cried the whole time watching the last episode. It is such a devastating and real ending. I knew it would be like that, but I hoped for something different. Nevertheless, it is a beautiful story about fate and love and grief. 10 out of 10 necklaces

My Ride (10/10 on Gaga) - highly recommended

This was some fucking wholesome shit! Damn! I love it. Why haven't I watched this one sooner? I had a smile on my face probably for the whole series. And Mork's smile? Pure sunshine and love and happiness. There might not be the strongest story, but it was well written and acted. 9,5 out of 10 sunshine smiles

My Bromance (2018/Taiwan) (12/12 on youtube) - recommended

This one was fun and light and I had a good time watching it. The focus is on the relationship between the mother and her two children. As funny as it gets, the series deals with serious issues and managed it not to be silly. 8,5 out of 10 sleepwalking fails

Craving You (10/10 on Gaga) - I can recommend without a doubt

This is as sweet as the desserts. It is not all lovey dovey and I didn't understand the concept of the collaboration, but I enjoyed this drama about a pastry chef and a singer who collab together. Best line of the drama: What I mean is, I decided to like you. That touched me deeply. 8,5 out of 10 madeleines

The Eclipse (12/12 on youtube) - recommended

It is really not easy to find the best words and the ebst rating for this one. I do like it very much, well until episode 11 happend...This is difficult. I wish they would have dealt a little different with all of the protests and homophobia and the revolution. It feels unfinished even though it is. After all I enjoyed watching it most of the times. The ending felt just too rushed. 8 out of 10 curses

Boys' Lockdown (6/6 on Youtube) - recommended

If you want something that makes you just feel good, watch this! I am still smiling :) The stroy is simple, but well done and acted and the characters are lovables. Two boys, who met in a drugstore and mixed up their meds, learn that they are each other's crush. So sweet. 8 out of 10 small dicks

Takara-kun to Amagi-kun (8/8 on Gaga) - recommended without doubts

I like this. It made me smile with every episode. At the end of every episode there was always reconciliation and they talked with each other! Their relationship is healthy and they care so much about each other! There is not much happening besides their story, but that is okay. 7,5 out of 10 blushing Takara-kuns

Love by Chance (14/14 on Viki) - recommended for Perth

Do I like the main story? Sure. I love Ae! He has such a cute pair of heart-eyes. And he so naturally loves Pete! I am in love with his love for Pete. Pete on the other hand, not my favorite. And the side stories! What in the holy hell was that? The amount of violence and SA, was that really necessary? But MAME...Do I have to say more? Guess not... 7 out of 10 of Ae's heart-eyes

Love by Chance 2: A chance to love (13/13 on Viki) - recommended for all of you who loved TinCan in the first one

I like TinCan. I like their story and that they are quite open and honest with everything. But the chemistry was difficult...It was there as long as there was no physical sexual contact. The story with Tin forgiving and helping his brother felt kind of rushed in the end, but Tul and Gonhin had more chemistry than everyone in this series together, so I am not mad that Tin helped his big brother to be together with his love again. The whole Ae/Pete storyline...was that necessary? And why couldn't you explain it better to your audience? Because it didn't make sense that they broke up? That made me really angry! 6,5 out of 10 for TinCan and TinCan only

My gear and your gown (12/12 on Youtube) - recommended if you don't know what to watch

This was okay. I liked the way the story was told. And I liked the couples and their energy, even though Itt had just one facial expression for anger, sadness or annoyence...that was a little bit annoying 😅 The story of those people falling in love was nothing new, but it was good enough to keep me hooked. I really appreciate the fact that they kind of educated about safe sex. 6,5 out of 10 earrings

I'm a fool for you 1 (4/4 on Gaga) - not really recommended

Confusing as fuck. I guess a few more minutes per episode could have helped. Most if the times I felt like someone just threw me into the scene or conversation without backstory or anything! I felt lost very often! But it is the best one for me out of the three. 5,5 out of 10 What is this all about

My Roommate (32/32 on Youtube) - not recommended

I don't know what this was. Barely two minutes per episode? Really? How can you tell a story with such a small amount of time? Well...I am, yet again, confused! This is just something else! 4 out of 10 I don't even know what...

I'm a fool for you 2 (4/4 on Gaga) - low recommendation rate

Guess what, I am still confused! At some points I got the impression they didn't know what they had talked about ten minutes ago and so the whole story changed without making any sense! Just no... 4,5 out of 10 why is this happening now

I'm a fool for you 3 (5/5 on Gaga) - only recommended if you like to suffer and watched the other seasons

Well that took a very dark turn! Still confused, because you don't get any backstory or explanation. But why so dark? Why so deeply devestating? And ending on a cliffhanger? Damn it...now I need to watch season four when in comes out...I need closure. 3,5 out of 10 dark turns

Evening Café (4/4 on Youtube) - not really recommended

This was bland and boring. It is a low production, but that doesn't mean it needs to be this bad. There are some good low productions out there which make just fun. This I couldn't enjoy. The acting was not good, the pacing was difficult, the scenes were cut together in a not so good way... 3 out of 10 too loud glass breaking noises!

Short films

Attraction (on Gaga) - recommended

What if you are in an established relationship, but developes attraction for someone else? You can't control who you find attractive, but you can decide to act on it or not. It is all about choices. This short was really good and it left me thinking. 8 out of 10 shared headphones

FUFU (on Gaga) - recommended

This is wholesome. Both lived a happy life together and in the end they stayed together. Of course the ending is sad but at the same time beautiful and an ode to love! While both are dealing with the inevitable ending they remember some happy moments. Worth a watch. 8 out of 10 times they felt like a married couple

Military Dog (on Gaga) - recommended if you're old enough and interested in those topics

A short film about a military officer who wants to be dominated by his master whose specialty is the training of human dogs. Yes, this is a short film of 10 minutes on GagaOOLala. I love Gaga for all the content they provide us with. I really can't watch any horror movie besides something with vampires or aliens, but I can watch those movies. 7 out of 10 doggy positions

One Last Order (on Gaga) - recommended if you like coffee and a good feeling in your heart

The story about a regular guest of a coffee shop who has a secret admirer who writes him love poems. That was a cute one, but at some points a little bit too long. But it has a good atmosphere and coffee. 7 out of 10 love poems

Some (on Youtube) - a mediocre recommendation level

You see how unrequired feels like. It is heartbreaking and devastating and full of wishful thinking. But in the end it is nothing but a friendship. At least a friendship so you have some parts of this person and you can be near them. But reality can just punch you in the guts sometimes. I liked it. 7 out of 10 daydreams

How to die young in Manila (on Gaga) - recommended if you have some spare time

I guess it is my month for disturbing things to watch...Well, I am more confused than disturbed. It is a little bit over artsy and missed the point it wanted to make, I guess? The dangers of being a male prostitute in Manila or just anywhere? But in the end I really don't know what exactly the point of this story should have been. The summary is not helpful at all... 6 out of 10 very graphic depiction of dead/dying people

Nabang Spark (on Gaga) - recommendation level low

This one was not my cup of tea. The bland story about two students and one og them wants to be close to the other and invites him to his birthday, but the other didn't show up. 5 out of 10 non existing sparks

Movies

The shortest distance is round (on Gaga) - not recommended at all

What a fuck-fest...I guess this movie was produced to show the dark sites of prostituion, sexual assault and just what could happen if your life takes a wrong turn...BUT! What the actual fuck? The plot was bland and with the ending (both versions) just stupid. I thought it was about a teacher-student-relationship as a main point, but that was just a catalyst for the following shit-show. The message is drowning in the flood of sexual content and that I think is really sad. It could have been so much more. Do I like it? Nope. Will I watch the rest of the movis? Probably... 3 out of 10 noises...oh those noises

What I’m looking forward to in October:

To Sir, with Love (Oct 3)

Kabe-Koji (Oct 4)

Ghost Host, Ghost House (Oct 5)

Two and One (Oct 5)

Big Dragon (Oct 8)

My Roommate (Oct 8)

Remember Me (Oct 9)

2 Moons 3 (Oct 10)

Roommates of Poongduck 304 (Oct 13)

Self (Oct 13)

My Tooth Your Love (Oct 14)

Hard Love Mission (Oct 15)

Doukysei (Oct 19)

My Tempo (Oct 20)

Eternal Yesterday (Oct 21)

Choco Milk Shake (Oct 25)

Grand Guignol (Oct 28)

Till the Worlds ends (Oct 29)

A shoulder to cry on (no exact date yet)

Happy Ending Outside the Fence/Happy Ending Romance (postponed until november)

[freckledbeom]

Hello my love. Can I pls have a kyun car sex fic. Can b like friends who have a thing for each other but neither of them know or established relationship

hi love, i wrote this fic while i was feeling a little blue so im sorry if it’s a little drawn out. hope this is what you wanted! ~

car sex w/ kyunnie [18+]

side note before you all read this fic, i just wanna say how grateful i am. sometimes i go on hiatuses or don’t update in a timely manner but i still get so much love & for that im truly grateful. it’s all love here, ill be here for you all like you’re here for me <33

warnings; 18+ content, suggestive scenes

listening to outta time by bryson tiller ♪

it wasn’t unlikely for changkyun to call you at late hours of the night, he was usually studio bound at this time anyway. what was unusual lie in his simple, but daring request.

“come downstairs.” he barred a monotone voice through the phone.

his puzzling request struck curiousity in your bones; you couldn’t not meet him downstairs now. grabbing nothing but a spare pullover and sliding into your house shoes, your heart fluttered in your chest. what could he possibly want?

after finally reaching your destination, changkyun turned around, your eyes meeting.

he almost looked the same as you, dressed in not much but a pair of sweats and a loose hoodie. although you would probably never tell him, his appearance was one of the many factors that drew you in.

stepping foward, changkyun cracked a slight smile. “you didnt take long.” he joked, tilting his head to the side a little.

“neither did you.” you replied, smiling back at him. “are you here to just look at me or did you have something you wanted?”

he paused a little before responding, licking his bottom lip. that was enough to fuel the fire between your legs.

“what if i wanted to just look at you?” his breath hitched a little.

your heart was beating so fast you were sure changkyun could hear your excitement ready to leap out of your chest. you were even more sure of this since the dialogue between the two of you had ceased.

“kidding.” changkyun hit your arm a little, as if he was knocking you back to reality. “i do miss you though, you wanna go for a drive?”

right. he didn’t see you in that way. of course, this was expected since he had many other things in his life; you would be the last on his mind.

the walk to the parking garage was a brisk, but quiet one. your interactions weren’t usually this awkward, today was an especially off one. from kyun suddenly showing up at your apartment, to this odd tension that appeared, you could hear the silence.

opening the door for you, changkyun walked around to his side and got in.

“your car smells nice.” a pathetic attempt to crack the silence.

“it smells like me.” changkyun answered affirmatively, looking directly at you.

rolling your eyes, you gave your attention to the moon in front of you.

you could feel his eyes drawing in on you, lasered into the side of your skull. turning so you made eye contact, you tilted your head a little.

"staring contest?"

changkyun scoffed jokingly. "i'll win but sure."

you didn’t know what was stranger about this night; the way he looked at you or the way his looks kindled the fire between your legs.

"why do you keep looking at me like that?" you choked out, palms growing sweaty in the process.

"it's a staring contest." changkyun retorted.

"no i mean-"

his lips didn't allow you to give further explanation, his tongue lay bait for you to fall under. your breaths hitched and stilled. his hands wandered every which way until one landed on your chin, tilting it upwards.

if this was bliss then the second he pulled away was sudden death, leaving you puckered & red.

leaning back in with your noses just touching, changkyun bit his bottom lip. "i can kiss you like that right? is that ok?"

this time you opted out of verbal response, answering him the same way he did you.

changkyun's hands moved from your face to your bottom, pulling you over on the driver's side so you could sit on his lap. instinctively, you reached to the side and lowered the seat back.

his hands wandered underneath your sweater to fondle your breasts. the friction from your lower bodies and the way he touched you was enough make you bellow out a shallow moan. you could feel him growing beneath you, leaving you soaked.

bringing you down towards him, changkyun lifted away your top to give him full access to your nipples. unknowingly, your hips ground against his crotch.

changkyun let out a breathy moan, latching harder onto your breast.

“changkyun...i want you so bad...” you whined out, his brows raising at your request. tilting his head with his mouth now removed from your chest, changkyun bit his bottom lip.

“say it again for me.” his breath hitching a little.

with no hesitation, the words stuttered out of you. “i want you so bad.”

a part of you imagined that he got a kick out of hearing your desperation crawl out of itself. so much so that every reedy whine from you earned a bite at your neck or a grope to your backside.

this time you had earned the feel of his manhood, not a cushion but a slab of pure concrete, stiff under you.

playing with the hem of your shorts, changkyun met with your eyes for direct contact. “we don’t have to take these off.”

and you didn’t, with him pushing them to the side just enough to give access to your bare middle. finally, you could catch a glance of his lower. it sat up high, thick & gleaming with precum; it was as if it was waiting for you.

steadily, you sunk down onto changkyun, biting your lip carefully to not cry out. changkyun pulled your upper back forward so that you were chest to chest, keeping another on your bottom. slowly, you rocked your lower half on his throbbing member. the two of you kept eye contact, while his hand that was once on your upper back was now on your face.

out of the many faces changkyun had showed you, the one he was giving me at this particular moment had you ready to climax then and there. cheeks flushed, changkyun bit down on his lower lip, never breaking away from you.

a harsh slap to your ass made you whine even louder. “right there....it feels so good right there...”

speeding up your pace, you sat up a little so that both hands could sit flat against his chest. with one hand on his shoulder and the other on this chiseled chest, you bounced on his lap, sounds from your sopping middle filling the air.

changkyun reached a hand up to steady your thigh, with his mouth now agape. “fuck, did i get you this wet? huh?”

in a shallow attempt to conceal your moans you bit your lip, only for changkyun to catch on rather quickly.

his palms took grip of your ass, giving him full access to thrust himself into you. you only cried out, falling back onto his chest while he took you from under

times like this there was nowhere else your mind wandered except how he made you feel.

“mmm…changkyun…” every time you began a sentence it seemed as if you blacked out.

joining his rhythm, you brought your your hips back down onto him. it only took a few more strokes to have you, once again, calling out to him.

“i think im gonna come.” your grip on his shoulders tightened so that you could straighten up and look at him.

“yeah?” he answered, his eyes saturated with eagerness.

“mhmm.”

changkyun gave a harsh slap to your rear while biting his lip.

“go ahead…fuck…go ahead and come on me.”

you surrendered, riding him until your legs and core gave out. trembling, you stilled your movements only when you heard changkyun announce his orgasm.

panting, you look at the mess you made of him. although the garage was dimly lit, you still could share gaze with him.

“is this what you called me out here for?” you questioned.

he chuckled, licking his bottom lip. “does this count as a confession.”

“not at all.”

[cloudmancy]

you guys sent in SO MANY asks and I physically cannot respond to all of them so I’ll post (most) of them at once. I am like a little messaging service an anonymous ruehob confessions blog of a sort... you are welcome... discussion goes in the reblogs/comments

[ID: anon ask reading “ruehob isnt really a like concept of acutal partners to me its just an exploration of regency tropes and dynamics... like i dont understand making like fluff post-canon stuff for them because it feels like the relationship is intentionally pretty shallow because its more about the narrative tension than either of them as Real People in a Real Relationship. theyre here to check the boxes of a dramatic regency romance and that is very fun like i love it but its also not really ABOUT if theyre gonna have a good life after the show”]

[ID: anon ask reading “personally i like ruehob but its true its literally because people hate women and wuvvy deserves so so so much better... i was kinda sad that aabria didn't address wuvvy's side in the AP and just made it out to be like a "ooh fun and drama" thing but maybe it's bc she didn't want to dive deep into it yet and i REALLY hope wuvvy will like. get to make a statement to rue or smth because she deserves FAR better at this point. i know the wuvvy neglect from rue's side might be because the player's have way too many interactions to go through but LORD!!!!!!! its not even supporting womens wrongs at this point bc like wuvvy DESERVES to do at least that much if she's been treated like this :| anyway people will stay hating women and prioritising ~ romance ~ over all else its maddening to see”]

[ID: anon ask reading “could be my years of reading fanfiction but the miscommunication trope are the reason that ruehob are acting like middle schoolers with a crush who they have only talked to twice and saying "they love them" is why they feel like an unfulfilling ship”]

[ID: anon ask reading “not to join the crowd but thank you for putting words to my inarticulate dissatisfaction w ruehob 😭😭 it felt very sudden and maneuvered into place and narratively dissatisfying, like they were trying to hit tropes rather than craft a satisfying romance into the story. there was no buildup!! there was one scene that led to contrived drama for several episodes and now they love each other. it could have been a really fun narrative about an infatuation between two powerful fey and the hearts they trample on in the process, but it's not being framed like that (or, y'know, they could've given their characters a history together). you're right about wuvvy/binx though, i'm a simple lesbian ready to get deeply invested in this”]

[ID: anon ask reading “i gotta thank you homie, after scrolling through your blog it's helped me put my finger on why i'm not as about ruehobb as everyone else seems to be and also that wuvvy can destroy folks, as a treat tbh”]

[ID: anon ask reading “insane take maybe but the ruehob of it all isn't about the long-term relationship- it's about the experience of one person making you reconsider everything. rue and hob do fall fast and hard and their relationship is a catalyst for self-growth more than it is sustainable, which I kind of like tbh and find relevant to at least my queer experience. we don't know what hob (and rue to an extent) would actually be Like because he doesn't know that, because he's never given himself the chance. wuvvy is stable and confident in her identity in a way that rue and hob aren't, and so their dumpster fire mess of longing and repression looks insane and unappealing to her, but I do think it's compelling to watch from our perspective. the issue comes in when every fan acts like they are soulmates who are going to be together 4ever and it's like. we don't know! these people haven't been themselves ever, really, we don't know! I think in AP7 brennan said that he intentionally put a seed of growth in hob that he needed to confront his relationship with his court and duty, etc, and rue just happened to slot perfectly in. it's not about it being rue specifically, it's about the self-discovery of realizing you can be loved, that there is something deeper than orders, as he says. same goes for rue: it's not about the specifics of hob, it's about wanting something and Not putting cordiality and safety and appearances first”]

[ID: anon ask reading “remember when hob was like rue doesn’t actually love me i was just there at a good time. i was sitting here thinking man…i WISH, that’d be way more interesting. anyway to each their own but ruewuvvy rights”]

[yea-baiyi]

Thanks for answering my ask....if you don't mind me asking (again), can I ask your top 5 favorite characters from MDZS? And your top 5 (or top 3) favorite moments from the novel or drama? Sorry if you've answered this question before....Thanks....

thank you for asking!!! i will never mind being asked to talk about my faves <3 i’m going to be SO annoying and specifically talk abt my fav characters from the untamed/cql, because i VASTLY prefer the drama’s characterisations of the main characters

top 5 characters from cql:

1. wei wuxian. like duh he’s my boy my soulmate my bestie my meowmeow. novel!wwx is exquisite but cql!wwx is so special to me??? he’s a mess of ego and insecurities and adhd and love…..the show would not have succeeded without cql!wwx’s earnestness and he makes it so special

2. lan wangji. hanguang jun, lan er gege. i relate heavily to wwx and so i am ALSO completely obsessed w him. i adore his arc in the show — the struggle to express himself, the moral conflict, the desperation to save the man he loves, the demons he battles in complete silence. i could write a novel about him alone

3. jiang cheng. LISTEN UP I AM A JIANG CHENG STAN. IM A JIANG CHENG DEFENDER. i’m firmly of the opinion that arguments about jiang cheng can be settled by “he’s a different person when written by the cql writers vs mxtx” and cql!jc is just my favourite. he’s just filled with so much love and nowhere to put it so it turns to rage. and he did good with jin ling. he did good

4. jin ling!!!! he is the glue that holds everyone together!!! that post about “jin lings uncle and jin ling’s uncle” is funny but that’s the point!! jin ling is the catalyst that connects the players in the story!!! he’s the blustery teenager who brings together all the traits of the people who made him. symbolically and LITERALLY uniting the family that was once broken.

5. jingyi. he’s just my funny funny boy………i love what he represents, whether it’s a sign of peacetime, of lan qiren softening, of lan wangji’s influence. he’s the spiritual successor to wwx in the juniors dynamic and every time he goes off im just like :’). because the world grew into a place where a child like that could speak freely, without fear. because he knows he is loved.

honourable mentions: sizhui, ouyang zizhen (i just love the juniors ok), ah qing, yu ziyuan, jin zixuan

(ok to stop this post from being a monster i’ll limit myself to top 3)

top 3 moments from cql:

1. “我不冤。” “if i could be killed by you, it would be worth it.” cmon. CMON?????? those of u who haven’t watched the show, you do not know how much unhinged romantic insanity you are missing out on. it’s insane to me that they invented this entire scene for the show. the rain dripping down wwx’s face like tears. lwj’s pristine appearance amidst the mud and the grey. the way he tips his head back to let the rain fall, but wwx never saw. im pulling my hair out

2. the conversation between wangxian when wwx wakes from his coma in ep 43. the tension. the fear. the tenderness. it’s so quiet. the way lan zhan’s hands rest heavily on the guqin strings, as if they would tremble if he lifted them. the way wwx seems so distant still. neither of them are breathing. it’s a new beginning.

3. the final scene between jiang cheng and wwx in guanyin temple. the way jiang cheng is quivering with anger and grief and love. the way wwx’s hands are so steady and gentle like the older brother he is. of course he gave away his golden core. that’s what he was always going to do. don’t mention it anymore, didi. no matter WHAT the last scene says, this won’t be the end of them.

i’m CUTTING MYSELF OFF HERE because i’m about to start crying. thank u for reading everybody

[rreyie]

k. (eren j. x reader)

summary; you're well aware by now that your feelings of eren have blossomed into something more than a fuckbuddy. but you're not quite sure if he'll agree.

content warnings; smut (18+), fingering, oral (f. receiving), vaginal, unprotected sex, unestablished relationship, degrading, use of pet names, creampie, slight dumbification, hurt at the end i’m sorry.

word count; 2.2k

a/n; the fic that has been sitting in my drafts for 2 months has been completed! anyways i’m sorry i’m advance

you're well aware by now that eren jaeger isn't just a one night stand you had a week ago. you couldn't quite call it a friendship now, but perhaps fuckbuddies- or people who banged on the low with no strings attached.

well, you wouldn't say you didn't have feelings for him by now. you couldn't tell if it was his mischievous personality or his nine inch long dick, but there were certainly more than platonic feelings on your end.

you two had met when armin, mikasa and eren bought a house to rent out for college. you were a friend of mikasa's and had nowhere to go except to the house they rented, so you moved in. you and eren clicked almost instantaneously, as if you were best friends your whole life.

the sexual tension between you two was inexplicable. and you both knew it. and that's why one day, eren chose to make his move when you two were watching "finding nemo: blu-ray dvd edition" on the couch in the living room.

you two fucked during the scene when the little red-headed girl was terrorizing the other fish. but you two don't talk about it. all that mattered was that it was good sex- and by good, you meant really. fucking. good. you had no clue how he gained all this experience, but that didn't matter either.

now you were here, nearing the end of your sophomore year. this little rendezvous with eren had lasted five months now. you two definitely fucked often- sometimes sucking him off while he was studying for is psychology course, other times bending you over the bathroom counter with a death grip on your asscheeks.

this time he had walked into your room while you were clicking away at your laptop while you sat on your bed, doing your best to study for the exam you had next week. he didn't say a word, just laid down on the bed next to you and stared up at the ceiling.

you tried your hardest to ignore him, but your train of thought was lost when he cleared his throat unnecessarily loudly as if you couldn't already tell that he was right next to you.

you shut your laptop in defeat, and turned your head over to eren, a smile ever so slightly curling on his lips. you were unamused at his behavior.

"yes, eren?" you ask, eyes locking with his jade orbs. he clearly hasn't slept in a while, telling from the dark circles under his eyes, contrasting his somewhat tan skin. his brown hair was in its messy bun like normal, tied up sloppily with some baby hairs poking out here and there.

"dunno", he responded. "just seeing what you're up to."

"mhm? well, that sounds like bullshit to me, mister jaeger", you scoff. "you always come in here and make yourself at home when you're horny."

eren sighed, and sat up from his position. "fine, you caught me red handed. but i know you're as horny as i am."

"...you're right", you admit, before he flips over so he's on all fours and crawls over so he's in front of you. the several rings that adorned his fingers glistened in the ceiling light above, his grey sweatshirt hanging loosely around his body. though what he always wore was so simple, he never failed to look breathtaking in it.

tugging at the waist of your sweatpants, eren growled a "take it off" before you slid your hands down to your waist and did as he told you, leaving you in your panties. you didn't wear nice ones today assuming you weren't going to be fucking somebody, but here you were.

the rest was done by him as he pulled down your panties, breath hitching at the sight of your wet cunt. eren licked his lips hungrily.

"wet? already? what are you, some kind of whore?"

when you only looked at him with doe eyes, he rose his voice. "well? give me an answer, slut."

his very words made something awaken in your core, and you responded with a "y-your whore, eren."

eren nodded in satisfaction, content with your answer. "you're learning."

in past experiences, you had been quite a brat to him- as he would say. constantly going up against what he wanted, trying to dominate him. but every single time he ended up pushing you back down and pounding you into the nearest surface, making you state exactly who you belonged to. but since you were being good this time, he relented.

dipping a cold finger into your folds, he collected the juices that wetted the outer lips of your cunt, savoring the warmth it provided him in contrast to his hand. in response, you jolted at the cold temperature, only for eren to hold you down by the waist to prevent too much movement.

working his fingers inside your impossibly tight cunt, he pushed in one, swirling it around in an attempt to find your sweet spot- in which he succeeded. with a hum of approval, he pushed through another finger past the bit of muscle and into your walls, placing it in the same spot the other finger was. curling his digits around that spongy spot and placing the gentlest pressure upon it. letting a pathetic whimper escape your lips, eren is quick to stop what he's doing and reach for your panties.

"w-what are you doing?" you croak, voice weak from the recent stimulation.

"shutting you the fuck up", he snapped back in response. balling up your pair of soaked panties, he stuffed them in your mouth, making you gag a little. he only smirked at the fact you were struggling. "you're just too fuckin' loud. if armin and mikasa weren't downstairs i would let you have at it, but we've gotta keep this a secret baby."

resuming what he was doing a minute ago, he moves his mouth closer to your cunt, ever so gently wrapping his lips around your delicate little clit. your hips bucked upwards as he put his two fingers in their previous spot, pumping slowly in and out.

you're only able to mumble in approval as his pumping turns languid and rough, and before you know it you're already feeling that knot that's all too familiar in your stomach. you yelp into your balled up panties that occupied your little mouth, the sound coming out muffled. erens brow raises as he removes his fingers from your fluttering cunt.

you're about to mutter something in disapproval, but eren starts talking before you. "i told you to stay quitet, princess. what don't you get about that? are you that stupid whore i thought you were? yeah, i thought so."

"'m not a stupid whore", you say, making your statement clear even though there was a piece of fabric in your mouth.

"then show it", eren demands as he slides his fingers back in, his thrusting become too quick for you to resist an orgasm, but still staying quiet so he would let you cum.

you gush all over his fingers, creamy white liquid coating his fingers as he pulls out, and places his fingers in his mouth, licking off the substance. you're reduced to a panting mess on your bed.

"that tired, are ya?" eren mocks you. "too bad. i still've got a hard cock and you're gonna take care of it." he isn't wrong. his print is easily visible in his grey sweats, at its full length and glory.

"more", you pant out. "want your cock, can handle it, eren..."

"i know you can, princess", he coos as he practically rips down his pants and boxers at the same time, exposing his hardened and flushed cock. the tip was tinted red, a few veins protruding through the skin on the side. he had a pretty cock indeed.

"bend over", he commands. shakily, you comply and get on all fours so that your head is near a pillow in case your legs give out. "that's'a girl."

you can feel him come up from behind you, and rub his warm tip over your cunt, making a shiver run down your spine. his size never failed to make you at least just a little bit nervous, it always hurt a bit when it went in but he prepped you well enough that it would slide in easily.

with his right hand, he grabbed the sturdy frame of the headboard, and with his left, started to push his cockhead into your tight little hole. you squealed as you felt his flesh enter you slowly, but soon sheathed his whole self in with one thrust.

"fuck- you're tight", he grunted, and removed his left hand so it was now gripping your ass. you could feel his fingernails digging into the supple skin, likely leaving red crescent marks. after eren took a deep breath or two, he started his movements. and he didn't relent.

the pace he was moving at was almost dizzying, making you let out a few high-pitched wails. his balls slapped up against your behind, lewd noises of skin on skin filling the room. he held onto the headboard, making the bed shake and creak with every new thrust he took.

"eren, eren, eren", you mumbled, completely cockdrunk by him. "more, more please".

eren smirked, his hair starting to fall out of his bun. "liking that? i knew it, you're just a whore. begging for my cock like always, just like the slut i've always known."

his words were mean, but they made you clamp around his dick, making him release a stuttered moan. were you perhaps sick for liking the way he degraded you? you didn't know and didn't care.

"s' good, 'ren", you gasped, wanting him to keep calling you these names and degrading you down to the bone. you would never let any man talk to you like that- only eren could, he did it the right way.

"i know baby, i know", he purred. "m' gonna cum, you gonna cum with me?"

"y-yes!" you shriek, feeling your second orgasm creep up on you, making your stomach do a somersault. "please 'ren! make me cum! need you filling me up!"

eren gave a dark chuckle, and threw his head back into a moan. your orgasm hit you like a truck, the pleasure taking over your entire body and making you shake uncontrollably, squealing into your pillow as your legs gave out. eren knew this was coming, so he removed his right hand from his headboard and put both of his hands under your legs to hold you out as he rode out his high. he jackhammered into you, balls tightening as the knot in his stomach finally snapped, making his cum spurt out of his tip and into your cunt. you were left immobile and speechless, drooling into your pillow as he pulled himself out and let his semen leak out from your hole and all over your sheets.

after he finished panting, he looked over to you. "you good?"

"mmph", you mumble, eren barely hearing you. you meant for that to be an affirmation.

he flipped you over so you were on your back, your sweatshirt still on your body. he cursed himself for not removing it, but there was always a next time. he smiled at your state, knowing he fucked you that good.

“you did good, princess”, he grinned, and pulled up his boxers again, and searched for his phone which he left somewhere in the room.

“eren”, you ask. “where are you going?”

“there’s a party at jeans dorm tonight. you going?”

you sigh. “no, studying for the exam. i need to pass it, maybe i’ll go next time.”

eren nodded, and walked out the door. “thanks again.”

staring up at the ceiling, you wondered how eren could always treat the fact you two fucked on the regular so casually. he always went around and flirted with other girls at parties, but never took them home.

well, it was now or never that you were going to make your move.

you grabbed your phone from your nightstand and unlocked it, your home screen being a photo of you, eren, armin and mikasa all huddled around the couch for a movie night. you opened your messaging app, and clicked on erens contact. this is where you began drafting your message.

| You: um okay hi eren! so thanks for today, it felt really good as always. but i was wondering if maybe you would want to take things further? we can go out to dinner thursday night if you’re free :)

reading it over once before sending, you pressed the blue button that sent the message to him. it took two minutes for him to read if.

the three dots in a bubble popped up on his end of the conversation. you internally panicked, wondering if this was the right choice.

| erennn: i mean don’t we fuck? don’t get me wrong u cool but i mean idk man

your heart quite literally froze at the sight of his message. the dots popped up again, and you held your breath waiting for an answer.

| erennn: so like fuckbuddies basically, that’s all i want rn so uhhhh yeah 💀

this was the exact moment you felt your heart physically sink. fuck, now you’ve embarrassed yourself. would he think your weird?

wanting to act calm and unaffected by his answer, all you wrote was one letter.

| You: k.

[ashes-in-a-jar]

And I Owe it All to You

Hello! This is a fic I wrote based on @speakerunfolding 's wonderful Jonmartin scottish cabin comic which I couldn't stop looking at.

I wrote this while watching Dirty Dancing for the first time in many years. Quite an experience xD

Summary: It's a night in for Jon and Martin in the cabin and they decide to pop out the wine.

Rated: T

Word count: 2.2K

Tw: alcohol, drinking and being slightly drunk, minor injuries

Maybe it was the fact that neither of them had gone out much in the past few months. Maybe the Fears prefer their avatars lightweight. Maybe Scottish alcohol tended to be stronger than English alcohol. But the sparkling wine they bought on a whim at the village store shouldn't have had the effect on them that it did.

Having emptied two cups each (Jon was actually drinking out of a mug, since they found only one wine glass, and he conceded the honor of feeling classy to Martin) they have already become giggling messes over some dumb joke regarding one Peter Lukas and a computer that refused to boot.

It wasn't even that funny. But there they were, acting like complete fools leaning against each other on the couch, legs propped up in a completely uncomfortable position on the small living room table (dangerously close to the now nearly empty bottle), holding their cups precariously in one hand and holding hands with the other.

And enjoying every moment of it.

The giggling subsided. They took a moment of comfortable silence to regain their breath and enjoy another sip.

"Can't believe he didn't know he could just u-unplug and replug the whole thing. Even I know that." Jon's speech was ever so slightly slurred, his leftover wine sloshing in his cup.

Martin hummed and then snorted.

"Jon, you barely know how to do that either. I had to teach you how to open new tabs in the same internet window for christ's sake."

"It was a new laptop! All of the buttons were in the wrong p-place." Jon protested weakly, starting to hiccup.

"Sure."

"Prick." Jon nudged him fondly. "You underestimate my vast knowledge of 'modern' things."

Martin snorted again. "Modern, you say?"

"Yes Martin, what do you take me for?"

"An old geezer." Martin tousled his hair gently. Jon leaned into the touch. Then, the words sunk in.

"Hey! Why do you and Georgie keep thinking that? I can know pop culture!"

"Oh yeah? Tell me, what do you know?"

"Uh..." Jon struggled to straighten himself, which resulted in actually sliding further off the couch. "Um...I know S-Star Wars! And uh, Matrix? I think. I've seen it once. Oh! That, that dinosaur movie! And... Titanic?" He finished unconvincingly. 

Martin looked at him, raising an eyebrow. "Really, Jon? You're just naming movies now.  And not even new ones. Did you actually watch any of those?"

Jon avoided his gaze "I... I may have fallen asleep during uh, during some of these?"

Martin gave him a long look. 

"Yes alright, I fell asleep in all of them."

Martin huffed "Thought so". 

Jon gave up trying to salvage his dignity, taking a final long gulp from his mug, a small drop trickling down his chin. Martin swiped it away, absent-mindedly licking his finger, not noticing as Jon hiccuped, his face heating up considerably. 

"I-I did like the Princess Bride though— that was a nice film, if a bit sensational." 

"Hang on. You watched the Princess Bride? And liked it?" Martin asked, incredulous. 

"I'm allowed to like things, Martin. B-besides, Georgie made me watch it. Said it was a- a core staple of cinema history o-or something."

"Oh yeah? Did she make you watch those other movies as well?" Martin asked casually, swirling the liquid in his cup. 

"Unfortunately yes. She would cruelly  shake me awake when I finally managed to get some shut-eye for once in my life. I-it's not my fault the only times I could sleep normally were during those, those damn films! She woke me up for that ridiculous scene with the, uh, the bullets in the Matrix. And that lifting scene in that unseemly dancing movie."

"What lifting scene?" 

"That movie with all of the dancing? Th-the one where he lifts her at the end in the middle of the crowd with that song? At least, uh, at least I think there was a lot of dancing, I wasn't actually, hmmm... Focused at the time." 

"Oh my god Jon, do you mean Dirty Dancing? You fell asleep during Dirty Dancing?" Martin's delighted incredulity was plain on his face. 

Jon scrunched up his nose. "That's the name of the film? Good thing I fell asleep then."

"Jesus Jon. That's incredible, good on Georgie! Heh, at least you woke up for that scene. It's iconic, you know." 

"Yes, yes." Jon waved at him dismissively, reaching unsteadily for the wine bottle. Martin gently took it away from Jon and with a much steadier hand, poured the remaining bit of wine into his mug.

"Thank you Martin," Jon mumbled into the cup. 

Another warm silence fell on them, lulling Jon into a half drunken stupor. He nearly threw his cup in the air when Martin's words startled him back into awareness. 

"I can do that scene you know, that lifting part." He was looking intently at his glass. 

"R-really?" Jon hiccuped. "How?" 

"I… I had a boyfriend who wanted to try it. So we did. Turns out that I'm good at balancing large things that aren't stacks of paper."

Jon hummed. He suddenly imagined very vividly Martin lifting someone else in that way and felt a pang in his chest. What was that?

Another beat of silence. 

"Do. Do you want to try?"

"W-what?" 

"Do you want to do that lifting scene with me? I'm sure I could lift you." Martin suddenly sat up, his tone excited and anticipating. He looked at Jon. 

Jon shifted. "Uh, I-I guess it's fine? Sure."

"Okay! Let's do it then!" Martin got up on his feet, swaying ever so slightly. 

Jon looked up at him surprised. "W-wait, now? Shouldn't we wait? You know, to be less uh, inebriated? Don't you need to see the scene again for a reminder?"

"Mmm. We don't have reception so I can't exactly watch the scene again. But, but I'm pretty sure I can do it now, definitely sure! Come on." He held out his hand expectantly. 

Jon took it, stumbling only a bit as he got up. Martin took out his phone . 

"I might even have the song saved. Let me check."

A moment later he gave a whoop of success and the song began to play, filling the main space of the cabin with its soft, if slightly tinny sound. 

Jon stretched, releasing the tension in his muscles. "All right Martin, where do you want me?" 

"You need a bit of a running start, and then you need to jump high right as you reach my arms, so stand over there." He indicated towards the door of the bedroom. 

"Right." Jon stumbled only once as he made his way towards the designated spot. Martin moved across the room stopping right near the kitchen door. 

The song kept playing calmly in the background, slowly building up towards the upbeat chorus. 

Jon looked at him again "I dunno Martin. A-are you sure?" He suddenly felt a bit more fuzzy than he did sitting down. He hiccuped again. 

"Please Jon, you're thin as a rake. Have a little faith." His face wore that determined look that Jon couldn't help but love. 

"Alright, as you wish." He grinned, proud of his clever reference as he took his stance. 

Martin rolled his eyes as well as his sleeves. "Steady on Westley, this is the part."

Jon felt a rush of excitement as he caught Martin's enthusiasm. "Ready?" He asked, bouncing a little on his feet in preparation. 

"Ready." Martin crouched a little, holding out his arms. 

As the chorus neared Jon, with a wild drunken energy, took his running start, jumping up as he reached Martin, grabbing on to his shoulders for support. Martin firmly gripped Jon's hips, bent his legs and with a strained grunt lifted Jon in the air as the song reached a crescendo. 

Jon was flying. 

He laughed giddily, stretching out his arms in elation. 

As Martin continued holding him in his strong grip he looked down at his beautiful boyfriend. Despite the exertion, Martin looked up with the softest expression as the song kept playing for them in the background. 

For a moment everything was perfect. 

And then Martin leaned backwards a bit too far. 

In hindsight, they should have known this would happen. While Martin was better at hiding it, he was as drunk as Jon. And Jon's already impeded balance certainly didn't help. 

As they went down, Jon idly wondered if they could also recreate the rest of the dance if they practiced. And then he hit his nose on the floor. 

After a moment of stunned silence the pain rushed in and Jon grunted. 

Turns out that while most of him was protected from the fall by Martin's soft and sturdy body, his knee also missed the mark and crashed into the floor as well.

Muffled by Jon's body above him, Martin squirmed. "Ugh, Jon, are you okay?"

When Jon didn't respond, Martin groaned and picked himself off the floor, lifting Jon in the process. 

"Oh my god, Jon! You're bleeding!" 

Jon's face throbbed. And so did his knee. His hazy drunken state began fading away as the pain sharpened. 

"I-I think I hit something." 

"I'm so sorry Jon! God, where are the tissues?" Seemingly having sobered up considerably, Martin picked Jon up and carried him bodily into the bathroom. Jon allowed all of this to happen as the shock of the fall dissipated. He let Martin easily lift him onto the sink counter as he shoved a towel into his hands.

"Hold it against your nose while I... Jesus, your knee too?" He stepped back now hurriedly lifting the stained pant leg to reveal the damage. 

"God, Jon I'm so sorry. Hold still, I'm going to find the first aid kit. We shouldn't have done this. This was a complete disaster." 

He kept muttering irritably as he walked away. Jon sighed and pressed the towel to his throbbing nose. His foggy mind still felt as though it was trying to catch up to the recent chain of events. He spoke slowly, attempting to convey himself with clarity. 

"Martin, it's fine. Honestly, I think we both know I've had worse-" 

"You nearly broke your bloody neck! God, where's that goddamn kit." He shouted from across the cabin as Jon heard the rattling of drawers being forcefully pulled open. 

"Martin, please I-I'm okay. It's just a little bit of bruising. It honestly already feels better." 

And it actually did. In the chaos after the fall, they both forgot Jon's... situation. Jon watched as the cut on his knee slowly closed up, leaving only the drying stain of blood behind. The pain in his nose was slowly vanishing as well. 

By the time Martin came back holding the bag, Jon already put down the towel and was tentatively poking at the previously bruised spot. 

Martin stopped in front of him, looking at him with a mixture of emotions Jon couldn't parse out. He smiled at Martin hesitantly. 

"See? Good as new. No harm no foul, I say."

Martin let out a long suffering sigh and took the towel out of Jon's hands. He quietly dampened it in the sink and stepped closer to gently pat at his face. 

Jon looked at him. This close he could practically count his faded freckles, follow every line and trace every mark that was so beautifully Martin. He let himself smile. 

"I must say, I'm quite impressed by your strength, if we weren't so inebriated, I'm sure you could have kept me up there for quite a while," he said quietly, enjoying the fluttering touches. 

"It wasn't because I was drunk." Martin muttered. 

"Pardon?" 

"I said it wasn't because I was drunk that I dropped you," he said a little louder, oddly flustered. "I was looking at... At you. You just looked... I dunno, happy, I guess? I just never seen that expression on you before and it..." He trailed off, concentrating intently on Jon's knee, finishing up cleaning up the blood. 

"M-Martin, look at me. Please look up here." Jon gently tugged at his shoulders to pull him up. At this height, sitting on the counter, he actually came face to face with Martin, seeing his blush and ruffled expression right in front of him as opposed to slightly above him like he normally did 

He lifted his palms to bracket Martin's warm cheeks. 

"There you are," he whispered and leaned in for a quick kiss. He then leaned back slightly. "You know that I'm perfectly happy. Here with you. Y-you know that, right?" 

Martin looked at him for a few moments, then smiled. "Yeah, I do."

"Good. Now, help me down so we can clean up the wine stain, which I'm sure is growing on the carpet right now."

"Wha- oh," Martin said as he turned to see the fallen glass that apparently toppled during the mayhem. 

"Yeah. Let me down?" Jon said again, holding out his arms. 

Martin turned back to him, a teasing expression on his face. "As you wish." 

Jon groaned and allowed himself once again to be pulled, secretly enjoying Martin's burst of giggles as they both walked back into the crime scene that was their drunken night in. 

All things considered, it was a pretty good night. 

[lillupon]

AEV Deleted scene(s) immediately following the events of chapter 21 + commentary

I fiddled with the idea of giving AEV minwon a long talk followed by a smutty ending, but I ultimately decided to scrap it. Their relationship is too complex to neatly tie up all the loose ends within a chapter, or even two. Attempting to do so would just needlessly drag out the fic; it’s really material for a sequel. Mingyu and Wonwoo have been apart for many years. During their separation, they’ve grown and changed as individuals, and they will need time to re-learn each other. There are many insecurities regarding age and experience to address, and they will have to reconcile who they were with who they have become. There’s a lot they need to unpack before they get back together and I don’t want to write that lmao (ah… the real reason appears… it’s too much work and I’m tired ;w; writing longfic is hard). Anyway, I think the end of chapter 21 was an appropriate place to close.

In the bonus below, they fall quickly in to bed together because I was being self-indulgent. But I’m not really sure if it makes sense for them to pick up right where they left off and bang in the car. At the same time, they’ve never been able to keep their hands off each other, so… I dunno! If you like the idea of them fucking, you can accept it as canon. If you like the idea of them taking their time, talking things through, that works too.

I will leave it up to your imagination <:

What happens next...

They kiss! Right there, in public, where anyone could walk by and see them. Because it doesn't matter now—they're both adults. Mingyu is no longer his student, hasn’t been for five years.

The kiss starts chaste at first: two people who have been separated for years, unsure of how they will fit together. Their mouths meet, Wonwoo's lower lip slotting between Mingyu's. For a brief moment, they part. And then they're kissing again, and each time, their kisses grow longer and deeper. Mingyu cups Wonwoo's neck in his palms, hands sliding back to tangle into short locks. A firm yet gentle grip tilts Wonwoo's head. Wonwoo moans, and it flips the switch on everything. 

Mingyu's tongue delves into his mouth. His body awakens under Mingyu's touch, fire surging in his veins and arousal roiling between his legs. They're in public, but Wonwoo can't help himself: the first dribble of slick leaks free. He can tell the exact moment Mingyu catches scent of it. A growl rips through Mingyu's chest; Wonwoo can feel the vibrations of it. 

They don't even make it as far as his apartment. Mingyu slides into the backseat of his car, Wonwoo slipping in after him. It's reminiscent of all those years they had sex in a Walmart parking lot. Except this time, Wonwoo is the one who initiates. He's the one who presses Mingyu against the angle of the seat and door. He makes himself at home between Mingyu's legs and kisses him with all the hunger and passion that he has tamped down for years. 

Meanwhile, he's fumbling with Mingyu's belt. The heel of his palm bumps against Mingyu's straining erection. Finally, he works the belt free. Pops open the button. Yanks down the zipper. He jams his hand down the front of Mingyu's pants, both of them breaking the kiss to moan. The burning hot and solid heft of Mingyu's cock feels so good in his hands. It's even better in his mouth. 

Wonwoo wastes no time closing his lips around the head of Mingyu's cock, moaning as the salty taste of precum bursts across his palate. He kisses and licks and slurps, drinking up the ambrosial liquid bubbling up at the slit. And then he swallows as much of Mingyu's cock as he can down his throat. Above him, Mingyu groans, hands flying to Wonwoo's hair and hips jerking. There's a thunk as his head falls back against the window. What Wonwoo can't fit into his mouth, he curls his fingers around. Sheathing his teeth, Wonwoo begins to bob his head up and down. Every time he rises, he swirls his tongue around the head of Mingyu's cock. 

Mingyu is barely restrained energy beneath him: his stomach is taut as a drum. The muscles of his thighs flex and release and shake with tension. Mingyu plays with the short hairs at the nape of Wonwoo's neck, low murmurs of praise punctuated by groans when Wonwoo sucks and licks him just right. 

Wonwoo is high with the knowledge that he is bringing his alpha this much pleasure. His head is blissfully empty of everything except for the sound of Mingyu's moans and the stretch of his mouth around Mingyu's cock. 

"Fuck, I'm close," Mingyu grits out. Wonwoo responds by stuffing Mingyu's cock down his throat. Mingyu's hand on his hair tightens, keeping him in place. Tears spring to Wonwoo's eyes. Mingyu's shaft goes rigid on his tongue and then begins to pulse hot and thick spurts of come down his throat. 

Wonwoo, moaning, swallows and swallows. There's so much of it. It spills out the corners of his mouth. Under his hands, Mingyu's hips spasm, and all of it is so hot that Wonwoo can't help himself. Without a single touch to his cock or hole, he begins to come, making a mess of his briefs. Wonwoo pulls off Mingyu's cock with a wet pop, cleans it up with laps of his tongue. Doesn't let a drop of come go to waste. 

Mingyu groans. “God, how are you this fucking per—" He cuts himself off and hauls Wonwoo up by the collar and kisses him, hard. 

They make it back to Wonwoo's apartment, the edge of their hunger slaked just enough to make the commute. Mingyu can't keep his hands off him. Kissing and mouthing at Wonwoo's neck and jawline and generally being very distracting, as Wonwoo fumbles for his keys. He's not in heat, but it sure as hell feels like it. At this point, his hole is so ready to be filled that it hurts. Slick drips down his inner thighs. Wonwoo wants to cry, he's so frustrated by his stupid door. Mingyu's making the task even harder by setting a proprietary on his ass, finger slipping between his asscheeks to rub at his clothed hole. Mingyu's grinding softly on him; Wonwoo can feel the hard ridge of Mingyu's erection on his hip.

Mingyu lays him down on bed and undresses him. Tugs down his trousers and finds out that Wonwoo has soiled his pants. "When did this happen, hm?" 

Wonwoo, embarrassed, throws a forearm across his eyes. “While I was sucking you," he mumbles. 

It isn’t long before Mingyu is pumping three fingers in and out of Wonwoo's ass. His other hand plays carelessly with Wonwoo's cock.

Mingyu still knows exactly how to touch him, how to make him squirm. His hips swivel of their own accord, bearing down on the fingers inside him. 

Wonwoo is lying on his stomach, a pillow beneath his hips, when Mingyu slides into him. Wonwoo reaches behind him to grab Mingyu’s ass, forcing him closer, urging him to go deeper. 

"So good," Wonwoo moans, voice thick with pleasure. He needs to know: "Is it good for you too?" The words are stuttered, punched out of him with each thrust.

Mingyu drapes himself over Wonwoo's back, planting a forearm by his head so he doesn't completely smother Wonwoo beneath his weight, but Wonwoo wants to be smothered. Mingyu drops a kiss on his shoulder. "Yeah," Mingyu breathes. "S'good for me too. You feel so good."

Their first fuck is hard and fast and exactly what Wonwoo needs. Mingyu ends up hauling Wonwoo up onto his hands and knees to better pound him. He digs his fingers into Wonwoo’s waist, pulling Wonwoo onto his cock every time he plunges inside.

It isn’t until their next round that they slow down. Mingyu lies atop him like a heavy blanket, his groans and ragged breathing hot against Wonwoo’s ear. He fucks Wonwoo with slow and deep rolls of the hips. Under him, Wonwoo has fallen apart into a moaning mess. 

His whole world narrows down to the place where they are connected. He swears he can feel it, the pounding of Mingyu’s heart against his back, the way his own heart beats in resonance. He can’t believe how good it feels to have Mingyu inside him, around him. It’s overwhelming. Wonwoo’s eyes go hot with tears. He buries his face into the sheets below. The next moan that leaves him almost sounds like a sob. 

Mingyu stops moving. Nuzzles against the nape of Wonwoo’s neck. “Hey, are you okay?”

Wonwoo nods. Doesn’t trust his voice. 

“Wonwoo?” Mingyu tries again. 

Wonwoo exhales shakily. “I’m okay. It’s just a lot. But in a good way.”

Mingyu hums an unconvinced noise.

“It’s good, I promise. Oh, god—please don’t stop…” 

Afterwards, they lie curled on their sides, pressed chest-to-back. Mingyu’s knot is lodged inside him. 

“I swear,” Mingyu says, nuzzling his neck, “I just wanted to talk to you, but you are irresistible.”

Everyone can smell it on Wonwoo when he goes to work the next day: an alpha's claim. No one mentions it because as teachers, they are nothing if not tactful. But Wonwoo catches the subtle flaring of their nostrils as they detect a new scent on him. Some of the nosier teachers even watch him as he limps down the hallways, wrecked by Mingyu's knot. 

They get their honeymoon. Mingyu fucks him over every available surface in his apartment: in the shower, over kitchen counters, up against a wall, over the back of a couch. Mingyu even holds Wonwoo suspended in the air as he fucks him, Wonwoo's legs wrapped around his waist. The position has Mingyu's cock reaching deep, and the display of alpha strength has an orgasm shaking out of Wonwoo within minutes. 

But as amazing as the sex is, what Wonwoo loves the most is the aftermath: Mingyu holding him and kissing him softly. Wiping him down with a washcloth and then carrying him to the bathroom. Mingyu prepares for them a post-sex meal. Even feeds him.

They spend a lazy Sunday afternoon together. Wonwoo's belly is pleasantly full from the lunch Mingyu had made: soy-glazed pork belly and stir-fried vegetables on rice. 

They're lounging on the couch, Wonwoo curled up against the arm of the sofa with a book in hand. Mingyu has fallen into a food coma and is using Wonwoo's lap as a pillow. Mingyu isn't even doing anything—blissfully asleep—and he is still distracting. Wonwoo has read the same sentence in his novel twenty times. 

With a sigh, he tucks a bookmark between the pages and lightly tosses the book onto the coffee table. He gazes at Mingyu, eyes following the straight slope of Mingyu's nose down to his lips. The years have been kind to Mingyu, turning him from a boyishly charming kid to a devastatingly handsome man. He is truly the alpha of Wonwoo's dreams, and Wonwoo thinks, with a thrill of excitement-fear-anticipation, that he might be able to fall in love with Mingyu, if he hasn't already.

[ditzydawn11]

keep me safe

Neville Longbottom x reader

not requested

warnings: attempted sexual assault

2500 words

THIS STORY HAS MATURE THEMES. My heart goes out to all of the ladies who are a part of the 97%. You are strong, you are beautiful, and you are not alone.

When someone tries to hurt the reader, Neville steps in and protects her like the true Gryffindor he is. 

Neville was your best friend in the whole world.

In third year you had asked Professor Sprout to use her greenhouse to cultivate a plant for your own needs. You had a knack for potions and although you couldn’t stand Snape’s constant droning in class, your passion for the subject was unmatched compared to any other of your studies. 

You had been trying to create a potion that would allow your pet cat, Socks, to levitate. Ever since you first picked her out in Diagon Alley during your first year she had longingly stared out the window in your dorm admiring the owls flying outside. 

Obtaining the magical ingredients was no trouble, Snape often let you come and take what you needed because you were his top student. However, to make it cat safe you needed muggle cat-nip, something Snape definitely did not have on hand. 

That’s what led you to the greenhouse on a cold and rainy April morning with your small pot and bag of seeds in hand. You didn’t expect anyone else to occupy the small plant house at 7:00 am on a Tuesday so you didn’t bother to knock. You let yourself in and were startled to see another student with his back towards you tending to some plant. 

“Oh, hi!” you squeaked out. Before you could react, the poor boy dropped the empty pot he was holding creating a large crash and shattering the clay everywhere. “Oh I-I-I am so-so sorry. I-I didn’t know anyone w-was here,” he said between frantic breaths as he was focused on trying to pick up the pieces. “Don’t apologize, I should have knocked. Let me help you.” you kindly offered. You bent down onto your knees to his level to help pick up the broken pieces. “Here,” you said handing him a rather large piece that was still intact. Neville looked up to grab the piece from your hand. He was so caught up by his own clumsiness that he didn’t get a proper look at you. He was taken back by your beauty, the way your hair perfectly framed your face, the subtle red tint to your nose and cheeks from the cold, and the way your eyes sparkled in the early morning light. Neville could barely get a sentence out when your hands met exchanging the Terra Cotta. “Uh..thanks,” he said quickly looking back down at the ground.

You stood up and dusted off the front of your skirt. “I’m y/n by the way. Sorry again for startling you,” “Don’t worry about it. Oh um I-I uh I’m Neville.” “It’s nice to meet you, Neville, Sprout is letting me use the greenhouse to grow a plant of mine for a potion. So it looks like we will be seeing more of each other,” you happily stated.

From that moment on you and Neville became the best of friends. Though if you were being completely honest, you longed for more. You had gone out with a couple of guys on small dates over the years and Neville even took Ginny to the Yule Ball but you never really clicked with someone like you did with Neville.

Now you were in your 5th year starting to think about life after Hogwarts. Laying with your head in Neville’s lap under a big tree near the black lake you two discussed your futures and what you think you would do after graduation. “Hey Nev?” you asked interrupting the comfortable silence between the two of you. “Yes y/n?” he responded setting down the book he had been reading. “What do you want to do after we’re done with school?” you asked him while staring up at his face from down below. “I dunno, maybe teaching. I’ve pretty much taught you everything you know about Herbology,” he responded with a chuckle. “Hey!” you gave him a playful smack “though I do suppose I wouldn’t have passed my last exam without you basically teaching me the last chapter.” 

“What about you?” the brown-haired boy asked while playing with the ends of your hair. “I think I want to continue my study of potions. I mean imagine developing a potion to finally reverse horrible diseases and terrible curses,” you replied subtly referencing what happened to his parents.

You were the only person Neville had told the story of his parents to. Ever since then you always made an effort to remind him of how proud his parents would be of him. He often doubted his abilities but you how brave and capable he was. You would trust him with your life.

“If anyone can brew those potions it’ll be you,” he said in a quieter tone. “Aww thanks, Nev, I know exactly who I’ll be getting my ingredients from,” you said with a smile. Nightfall was approaching so the two of you made your way back to the castle for dinner. The two of you were an unconventional duo to everyone else but to you, you were best friends and wouldn’t want it any other way. 

Later that night you closed your eyes to fall asleep but your mind began to drift. You began to think about Neville which isn’t uncommon seeing that you spend most of your time together but you were thinking about him in a different way. 

You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought of him like this before but what’s even worse is that part of you wishes it was this way. You had noticed a bit of...tension between the two of you on occasion. Like the time you couldn’t reach the top shelf in the greenhouse so Neville came up directly behind you to get the watering can for you. Or when you grabbed Neville from the library to go and watch Fred and George’s newest prank unfold and you held his hand the whole way there. You so wished that something more could blossom between you two but the last thing you wanted to do was jeopardize your friendship. I mean having Neville as a friend is better than not having him at all. You knew you could spend hours thinking about this so you just decided to roll over and try to get some shut-eye.

A few days later you were supposed to meet Neville in your guy’s usual spot after lunch, in the greenhouse, but he didn’t show. You figured he probably forgot (something he does quite often but you secretly think is absolutely adorable) so you left to go and find him. After searching for a bit you went to check for him in his dorm. Before you knocked you could hear faint sniffling from the other side of the door. You gently knocked and called out “Neville? Is that you? Can I come in?” After a few seconds of quiet the door slowly opened to a teary Neville on the other side. You instantly dropped your bag and gave him the biggest bear hug you could. You broke the hug and asked “Neville what’s wrong?  What happened?” “y/n why am I a Gryffindor? I’m so pathetic I can’t even stand up for myself,” he said through his sniffles. “Neville you are far from pathetic. You are the bravest, and most kindhearted, and loyal person I know. That’s why you’re a Gryffindor. Your parents would be so proud of you. I’m so proud of you.” you assured. It turns out that a few Slytherins sabotaged Neville’s potion in Snape’s class so it would explode everywhere. When Neville went to confront them he froze which caused everyone to laugh at him. You continued to hug him until he calmed down but you wished there was some way you could get Neville to believe in himself as you believe in him.

About a week later you found yourself sitting in the courtyard reading your transfiguration textbook for your test tomorrow. You were sitting on a small bench by yourself in a relatively secluded area of the outdoor space. You saw a figure approaching and looked up to see none other than McLaggen, someone who you often complained to Neville about on a regular basis. “So sweetheart, there’s a trip to Hogsmeade coming up and you look like you could use a date,” he said with a sickening smirk. “Bugger of Cormac,” you said as you began to collect your things. “Aww that’s no way to talk to me darling,” he said inching closer to you “you know I don’t like taking no for an answer.” Cormac McLaggen was just about the most disgusting guy at Hogwarts. He had asked out pretty much every girl in the school including yourself on multiple occasions. The answer was always a hard no but he couldn’t seem to get that through his thick skull. “I said I’m not interested now I have to get to class. Goodbye.” you hastily replied while trying to get as far away from the douchebag as you could. Before you could get very far he grabbed you and pinned you up against the stone hedge directly behind you. “What the fuck” you screamed as he began ripping open your uniform blouse and putting his hands on your chest and neck. You fought back as hard as you could but he was just too strong. 

What you didn’t see was Neville watching you from afar. He had been sitting with Dean and Seamus when he saw McLaggen make his way over to you. He knew that you would never stoop to that level but it did spark a kind of jealousy in him seeing another boy talk to you that way. When he saw him push you against the wall Neville reacted before he could think and sprinted over to you as fast as he could. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing Cormac?” Neville yelled as he pulled the asshole off of his best friend. “Just showing her what a real Gryffindor is like since she seems to spend all her time with you, a pathetic excuse of a wizard,” said Cormac as he began to get closer to Neville who was standing directly in front of you as a shield. “Don’t you ever come near her again? You hear me?” Neville threatened without any hesitancy or fear in his voice. “Yeah right,” McLaggen scoffed as he advanced on Neville. However, before he could do any more damaged Neville punched him straight in the face causing Cormac to fall to the ground. 

By this time a small crowd was beginning to form. McGonagall broke through the mess of students “What in the world  is going on here?” She looked at the scene in front of her and quickly put together the pieces. “I see, students get to class, I’ll be taking Mr. McLaggen to Dumbledore. We do not tolerate this kind of behavior. Longbottom, I trust that you will make sure Miss y/l/n is alright. Please take her to Madam Pomfrey if she needs anything. Very well.” and she grabbed McLaggen by the arm and made her way back to the castle. 

The crowd had dispersed leaving just you and Neville. Neville realized that he hadn’t even checked in on you yet because he was so disoriented from everything that just happened. He quickly spun around to face you. Your mascara was completely smeared, you were sobbing, and your blouse was ripped open leaving your bra and chest exposed. “Can I- can I touch you?” Neville softly asked not wanting to make you uncomfortable in any way. Instead of using your words you just collapsed into Neville letting his arms wrap around you in an effort to keep all the pain and ugly things as far away from you as he could.

You don’t know how long you two stayed like that but Neville pulled away eventually and used his thumb to wipe off some of your smeared black eye makeup and tears. “Here,” he said while pulling off his burgundy Gryffindor sweater and putting it over your head. He saw that you were still exposed and didn’t want anyone seeing you like that. “Do you want to go to Madam Pomfrey?” he softly asked while rubbing soothing circles on the back of your hand. You shook your head no “can we just go sit by the lake. I don’t want to go back and deal with everyone yet.” “Of course,” he replied. 

Neville guided you over to the lake and you two rested under your favorite tree. There were no words exchanged between the two of you. Just comfortable silence and a telepathic-like connection that told you that everything was going to be alright. Neville rubbed soothing circles on your back as you lay your head on his lap. You don’t know how long you two stayed there but you soon realized that you must have fallen asleep because it was nearly dusk and you were in Neville’s arms walking back to the castle. 

He carried you back to your common room and up to your dorm. Neville layed you down on your bed and tucked you into the covers. He made his way to the door but stopped when he heard you call out his name. “Hey, Nev? Could you maybe stay? I just don’t want to be alone right now.” “Oh, uh sure,” he said making his way back to you. He didn’t want to make you feel bad for seeming hesitant because honestly, he would love nothing more than to stay with you. However, the last thing he would want to do is to make you uncomfortable or seem like he was taking advantage of you in your time of distress. Plus with his massive crush on you, he gets incredibly nervous any time something remotely intimate or romantic occurs between you two. But he swallowed his nerves and kicked off his shoes to be there for you when you need him most. He would do anything for you. He crawled under the covers and kept a substantial amount of space between you two though honestly, the school-issued dorm beds weren’t that big. 

You didn’t say a word but gently turned over so you were facing away from Neville. You scooted closer to him and in a moment of bravery grabbed his hand from the opposite side of the bed and pulled it over you so you two were cuddling. You let out a sigh of relief partly from Neville not pulling away and partly from finally finding some peace from the stress of the day. 

“Neville?” you called out. “Yes y/n,” he called back. “Thank you for keeping me safe.” and soon after those few words left your mouth in the still silence of the room, you were asleep.

Neville let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and bravely planted a kiss on the top of your head. Maybe he really was a Gryffindor after all.

[putseraphinaonthaphone]

That's on Me | Revised Fic Pt. I

based on the thirst about Izuku wanting to beat the pussy because it's too good up by @awilddreamerwrites

cw// everyone is aged up to third years, quirk use during sex, innocence kink, m/m, anal play, d/s dynamic, creampies, sloppy seconds, threeway, group sex, Bakugo x Reader in an established relationship, queer reader who uses feminine descriptors (Bakugou calls you his girl/woman in intimate scenes where there's already pre-established consent to do so, pussy, tits, etc) but he/him pronouns, BakuDeku Poly dynamic w/ reader endgame

There was always tension in the air when the three of you were in the same room, different than the preceding energy of one of your boyfriend's explosive outbursts. More like the smell of a storm in the air, like lightening followed by earthshaking thunder.

Deku would look at Kacchan, and Kat would look at Deku, and Deku would look at you and Kat didn't really mind and why didn't he mind?!

If anyone came in he would start barking at Deku to 'get his eyes off his boyfriend before he blows his face off,' but if you happened to time it perfectly and you three were the only ones in the common room..

Your boyfriend didn't growl at you to cover up if you were wearing his boxers that molded indecently to your ass beneath his shirt, in fact he groped at your curves possesively- delighting in the way Deku watched every movement of his hand on your ass while you cuddled into him.

So when Deku burst into Kat's dorm room while you were face down, ass up and getting absolutely railed-- it seemed like the final straw snapped in all three of you.

"Get in here and shut the fucking door nerd." Your boyfriend growled at Deku who was already doing so without having to be asked. He came closer to the bed, entranced by the filthy squelching of the blond's cock in your soaking wet pussy.

"You've always got an eye on my- ngh- fucking girl, Deku. Imagined him like this didn't you?" Even though his words should've been angry, it sounded more like the dirty words he growled at you that lit your pussy on fire. Your boyfriend was fucking you stupid but you tried your best to call out to the greenet, wanting him to know that you wanted him here (as much as Kat did if he let himself admit it.)

"'Zuku," you couldn't help the way your voice came out fucked and whimpering when Kat was rearranging your guts with a vengance.

"Fucking slut, why is your cunt getting tighter on my cock when you say his name?" His accusing tone was rendered meaningless because his cum started filling your cunt as he hammered into you, making you cum around him to milk every drop of seed from his balls as they smacked against your ass.

"Because he wants me to take a turn at his pussy." The utter confidence in Izuku's earnest voice made your pussy clench around Kat's slowly softening girth. He pulled out of your pussy and let you collapse tiredly on the bed, sprawled out like the perfect little whore you were tempting them both to ruin you. He kissed your temple and grumbled a 'traitor' under his breath before turning to face Deku.

The greenet had his dick out and a scarred hand wrapped around it, and it made Kat's cheeks dark to see that he didn't try to hide himself. He keep stroking a cock that made both of you revel in your inner size queens, and the little sound he made when he grabbed his own heavy balls made Kat sport a half chub quick enough to make him dizzy from the blood loss.

But he had to pull himself together, if he was going to make this work with his heart and dignity in tact.

"And why the fuck do you think I'd let you?" He challenged, green eyes clashing with red as the two stood too close for their posture to be aggressive.

It was intimate, like they shared a center of gravity and couldn't help but be drawn together.

"Please, Katsu, Zuku.." You whimpered, your eyes heavy lidded and pleading as you rolled onto your back- pulling one knee up so that they could both see Kat's cum leaking out of your hole. "Stop fighting. I want all of us to fuck in as many permutations as possible before I can't take anymore. Got it?" Your demand was spoken with only a few moans and whimpers as you fingered your stretched pussy, knowing one of them would break and you'd get what you needed.

"Do you have a condom or.. can you swear to me that you're clean?" Kat looked at Deku seriously, and Deku's breathed hitched by the intensity of those red eyes on him. His rhythm with his hand stuttered before he was able to nod with honesty ringing in his voice as he answered,

"I'm clean, Kacchan. I swear. I wouldn't put him.. or you at risk like that. And.. no one compared to you two. I haven't had sex in months." The admission made you whine- you were going to be at the mercy of hasn't-had-his-dick-wet-in-months Izuku? You prayed that you'd be able to walk tomorrow.

"Then go for it. But I'll be watching you. Do a good job and make him cum or you'll never get to fuck his pussy again." The threat made Deku's thick cock spurt more precum as he nodded and made his way to the center of the bed to push both your thighs to your chest. There was no way you'd be able to escape the mating press he put you in, so your pussy gushed realizing you wouldn't really have a choice about being impaled on his cock-which was well over your boyfriends already intimidating 8 inches.

"You think you can be a good girl for me and take it all?" The tip of his cock kiss your cum filled hole, and he looked at you so sweetly when you nodded you could almost forget he was about to split you in half.

You could hear Kat cursing under his breath to the side of you as he pulled up a chair to watch, but you could also hear the shameless sound of spit hitting his hand so he could jack off to the sight of Izuku's muscled form pinning you to the bed. The greenet had grown over his three years at UA, and he was a few inches taller than Kat now, and a lot broader.

His large scarred hands gripped your hips as he started pushing into you, inch by inch until he was buried as far inside you as he could reach- pressing snugly against your cervix and his heavy balls resting against the luscious fat of your ass.

And it was like he saw the face of god. Your dripping, clenching, fluttering heat was the best thing he had ever felt on his dick. Even if he got to put his dick in Kacchan's equally fuckable ass like he dearly wanted to, he didn't think even then it would beat this. This, the perfect and maddening pussy that belonged to Kacchan's beloved boyfriend. His girl.

The pleasure of it, hot as the sun and tinged with something dark and hungry and wild, grabbed him by the base of the spine and infected him with the almost painful craving to rut into you as hard and deep as possible.

"He's so fucking tight," Izuku's filthy moan wasn't even addressed to you, but it made your pussy clench further around his thick girth as he fucked you. There was green lightening crackling around him and his gaze on your was determined as he fucked into you harder- wanting to get as deep into your insatiable, hungry little pussy as he could. He could think of nothing else. Not even Kacchan watching him fuck you, not what this all meant.

Your moans had long since gone past embarrassing but your boyfriend only continued to watch as his childhood best friend fucked orgasm after orgasm out of you, not put off in the slightest by the growing mess off fluids between your lush thighs caused by his generous attention to your throbbing clit.

At some point there was a loud CRACK and the headboard fell to pieces where Izuku had been trying to hold himself up. He had let go of your hips at some point, but the sharp smack of his hips against your ass was a testament to how determined he was to imprint the shape of his dick into you.

"He has the best pussy I've ever fucked. Doesn't it feel like he's trying to milk your load right out of you?" Katsuki grinned ferally with pride at being blessed with such an irresistible partner.

"He's going to," Izuku's bright green eyes meet yours intensely, and you shivered under his gaze as he continued to fuck your overstimulated pussy. Your legs shook around his waist but all he did was fuck you deeper so you couldn't run from it.

"Ah ah ah, don't run, sweetness. Even if I have to break the bed too, I'm making sure all my cum ends up in your tummy.."

Your cervix was hammered so persistently you were sure Izuku's plan was to shoot his cum directly into your womb. By the time he let out the filthiest groan of "ngh- fucking, take it-" all you can get out is a garbled mess of

"yes!" and "'Zuku!" and "baby.."

Katsuki was laying beside you now, watching Deku fight to control his strength as your pussy threatened to undo himcompletely by fluttering and milking him until he was gritting his teeth from the overstimulation. Kat had cum twice all over his own fingers watching Deku being bested by you. He was so high on the thought that his girl could do this to Izuku. Make him look all fucked out, flushed tits heaving as he kneeled over your well fucked form, desperate..

Pretty.

"You look like a fucking slut, Deku." Why did that come out sounding like he was flirting? "You owe me a fucking headboard too dumbass." You watched your boyfriend growl the threat as an after thought, smirking at the blush on his cheeks. When Izuku came back to bed after putting the washcloths he used to clean you both in the bathroom, his eyes trailed over Katsuki's bare chest and low slung basketball shorts with a slight wet spot- his fourth erection of the night making the greenet's mouth water.

"I think I can find a way to make it up to you."

[thecoloursdontshow]

loki episode 5

so.

im in pain. emotional. its fine. lets review.

the entire loki squad is iconic. i MEAN THE KID STRAIGHT UP KILLED THOR. its great. dont even get me started on the alligator. i love it. i cant stand ravonna, i just hate her. shes a good villain, didn’t expect it. NOW the entire scene with the alligator attacking boastful loki was one of my favourite parts. i love that everyone thought sylvie was terrifying, i love it. also can we talk about how much screen time the alligator got considering hes AN ALLIGATOR. im very thankful, dont get me wrong. i gotta say, president loki was messing with my head, twas scaring me. now SYLVIE AND MOBIUS TOGETHER WAS AMAZING. that was everything i couldve asked for. they have great chemistry. i really need the scenes if mobius interrogating sylvie about loki. i just I NEED IT. back to the lokis, president loki being confused why theres an alligator, then getting attacked by said alligator. thats it, i love it, i would watch it for days. tHEN IT BITES HIS DAMN HAND OFF AND THE ABSOLUTE CHAOS IS JUST SUPERB. just, amazing. “shes the only one i do trust” UM WHOS MOBIUS THEN BITCH? EXCUSE ME. sorry i just adore mobius with every cell of my body. i also love sylvie. i just, i love her, shes me, shes great, shes- i love her. sylvies definetly the superior loki, gotta say. i also love the faith that mobius has in loki. its just, hes very in love. can we just talk about how an ALLIGATOR IS PRAYING. i love this thing. “is he a coward or is he being brave” is the definition of lokis character lets be real. and THE PURE JOY IN LOKIS “Mobius!” HIS LITTLE SMILE I CANT JGHJDGKJ. #sylvie is fed up with lokis stupidity. also, RELEASE B-15. HELLO? THIS IS KINDA RUDE. TF YOU THINK SHES GONNA TELL U. LIKE MAAM. WHAT? B-15 DIDN’T EVEN REALLY KNOW. i also wanna know how MUCH talking b-15 and sylvie did. because like... i really like the ship ok? its fine. everything is fine. WHATS UP WITH MISS MINUTES. SHES BEING WACK AND IM SCARED. #we’re still confused by the alligator and i love it. so mobius finds the chance to gush about loki any time he can get. i respect it. i loved the heart to heart loki and sylvie had. they start talking about mobius, which is fair, i would also start gushing about mobius m mobius in the face of imminent death. LETS TALK ABOUT SYLVIES LITTLE “he cares about you”. SHE KNOWS. AFTER SPENDING TIME WITH BOTH OF THEM, SHE 100% K N O W S. and i love it. her knowing smile when loki doesnt respond is just gsgfkasgfkhs. the entire conversation following that about their ‘relationship’ looks like its out of a grade 5 playground, its great. but thats the thing. i dont think their romantic, given the following line is “i dont have friends” by sylvie. meaning their just friends. and let me tell ya, an mcu project has never focused and has been this self aware of a relationship, especially like this. especially because this relationship hasn’t even started. so, me and my lokius heart will be in the corner, thank you very much. i love how they immediately start banter, they’re a great duo, its fantastic. you know who loki also betrayed? MOBIUS. they keep making it clear, first with the dagger, the “he cares about you”, now this, that mobius loves loki. no but wtf are those birds. whatever, not the point. sylvies so powerful i love her. (im sorry im very gay). the moment loki says “im staying” who turns around BUT MOBIUS. C’MON. kid loki giving loki a dagger is just so. IT CAN ALSO SYMBOLIZE SELF LOVE BECAUSE LOVE IS A DAGGER. lokius’ goodbye. im not ok. first we got hit in the stomach with “burn it to the ground. thanks for the spark” then WE GOT THE GODDAMN HUG. the look on lokis face as he went to hug him. this was a bond. he cares about mobius. a handshake wont do. they were farther than that. and the dagger in the shot WAS NOT A MF COINCIDENCE. I’LL TELL YOU THAT MUCH. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER OF STORY. #sylvie just out her like: imma need that dagger to cut this romantic and sexual tension sweet jesus. now, did i cry during the goodbye? y e s, yes i did. loki being able to enchant it was so powerful. it shows his full potential and just how power he is. LOKIS are just powerful. classic loki built ASGARD FOR GODS SAKE. SYLVIE DID THAT ENCHANTING ON HER OWN FOR A LARGE AMOUNT OF TIME. so iconic, i love them all. “because we’re the same” then why did you fall in love mf? whats that about? the fact this episode ends on a cliff hanger is kinda very rude but whatever. if mobius doesnt come back im gonna- its not gonna be pretty.

so yeah, that was my review, this is by far my favourite episode, i adore it. aNyWaYs. 

[omg-imagine]

Forget Me Not (Part 12/15)

Pairing: Keanu Reeves x Reader

Summary: After you wake up from a coma and realize that your memories from the last five years have been erased, Keanu works to bring back what you have lost.

Words: 4.7k

Warnings: Angst, language

A/N: Kinda nervous posting again since it’s been a while, but we’re winding down to the end of this story with only three more parts to go (2 chapters + an epilogue). As always, feedback is appreciated. Thanks for sticking around, and I hope you enjoy!

Part 11

Home.

You are home. It’s supposed to be home.

But it wasn’t. To you, it couldn’t be. 

This place feels too far from home, too foreign. You had no memories of it, no recollection of the safety and security it offers. Not even the faintest remembrance of the laughter, smiles, and tears; the fondness and the sadness these four walls have witnessed over the years. 

You can’t call it home. You don’t know where home is, and you’re not sure you have one anymore. 

Not after leaving him behind.

It’s cold and dark when you first wake, sleep weighing heavily in your eyes. A pair of curtains block out the sun from filtering into the room, leaving you to wonder if you had slept through half the day. With a yawn, you stretch, the bed underneath creaking as your body fully rouses from yet another night of fitful slumber. Almost a month back in New York, and it doesn’t make sense to keep blaming your lack of energy on the time difference.

The ache is still ever-present. The pain caused by the void in your heart remains, sharply throbbing in your chest with its refusal to go away. Two heartbreaks, two betrayals, occurring five years apart, but it feels as though not much time has passed in-between. 

It hurts to ponder about it, that evening when your seemingly perfect little world came crashing down. Hiding behind rose-tinted glasses, you were unknowingly tricked, fully caught up in a well-crafted illusion. His illusion. Love has blinded you to the sad reality, and in the end, it left you a shattered mess, a hollow shell of your former self.

You doubt you’ll ever be whole again.

Forcing yourself out from under the covers, you reach for your phone on the nightstand to check the time before scrolling through your notifications. Nothing was of interest to you, fortunately; you didn’t have the energy to respond to those you suddenly abandoned. Friends who cared about you but realized you were never close to them. Not in the way it used to be.

As you skimmed over the new texts and emails, you then came across his now unsaved number. The moment you stepped on the plane, you deleted his contact from your phone and blocked him. Yet the last messages he sent to you were still there and haven’t been read since, though you already knew what they could entail—

I’m sorry.

It was never my intention to hurt you.

Please give me another chance.

Let me fix this.

Just come back, Y/N. Come back home.

Home. There was that damn word again. You were beginning to loathe it, even more so knowing that whenever you think of home, you wind up thinking of him.

The last time you saw him was the morning after the storm. Booking a one-way ticket back to the east coast, you then spent the early hours packing as many clothes that would fit in a single suitcase. Tears had long since dried up, having none left as you headed down the stairs, ignoring the look he gave you from afar.

He was dressed in the outfit he had on the night prior; his hair disheveled, eyes bloodshot, and it was quite obvious he endured no sleep. Your resolve nearly crumbles as your gazes connect, bodies close enough that he could reach out the slightest bit, and he’d be holding your hand in the palm of his. 

Fighting the urge, you didn’t cave in. You couldn’t allow yourself to fall for it—for him. 

No, never again.

As expected, he followed you out of the house, remaining quiet as he watched the cab driver load your luggage in the trunk. You paid him no attention when he approached the vehicle once you climbed in, wanting nothing more than to escape this nightmare. With nowhere else to go and no one to turn to, you decided it was best to leave California, not that you belonged there anyway.

It played out like a scene from a movie—the taxi pulling out of the driveway slowly as the raindrops started to fall. Hearing him call out your name, his voice cracking with each syllable, made you hesitate for a beat. Perhaps you could forgive him, you had thought in that split-second. Forgive and forget; let what happened in the past stay in the past. 

But even if you did, the pain’s still there, and it was overpowering. This pain resulting from his deception had been too consuming, too unbearable to move on.

You told the driver to hurry as you couldn’t afford to miss your flight.

The atmosphere in the car was fraught with grim silence. As the house sequestered in the hills vanishes in the rearview mirror, you knew you were running away from it all. You couldn’t stand being here in LA, where every turn, every corner, and every street reminds you of a life that wasn’t truly yours. 

As idyllic it once was, you wanted no part of it anymore. Instead, you sought for familiarity, the life you used to have, the one you could only remember. 

What you thought was your real home.

Unable to hold it in any longer, you had broken down in the backseat, never feeling more alone than you did at that moment.

You wish you could forget, but it’s not that easy. It’s never easy. Memories of him linger in your mind, still tragically fresh as they haunt you day in and day out. Closing your eyes, you could see him wearing this smile that used to make your stomach flutter. You came to love his smile the same way you had loved him wholly. 

Now? Seeing it was a stab to the heart—a reminder of how he took advantage of your condition, your vulnerability. Of every lie you were fed. That smile, the one you previously hoped to wake up to for the rest of your life, had been an act, a facade. 

Everything had been a facade.

A sudden knock on the door startles you, and you clicked off the phone screen before announcing to whoever that they could come in. Your mother Nancy enters soon after, her face displaying concern when she realizes you had just woken up. She’s silent as she walks towards the window and then pushes the curtains aside, the sunlight outside immediately washing over the room. 

Briefly, you squint to adjust to the brightness, a confirmation that it was past noon already—another wasted day.

“Hey, darling,” she speaks softly as she moves to sit on the mattress beside you. “How are you doing?”

There’s no point in lying, but as much as you greatly appreciated her caringness, you didn’t want to burden her with your problems. They were yours to deal with and yours alone. 

“Better.” And that, you were. Just a week ago, you finally stopped crying yourself to sleep. “I might even go out tomorrow and look for a job. Can’t keep freeloading under your roof, right?”

You release a half-chuckle, a small attempt to lighten up the mood. It was comforting when your mother cracks a smile in response.

“Oh, hush. You’re always welcome to stay as long as you need to,” she assures, a loving warmth radiating from her tone. 

Lips pressing together, you sense that she has another thing to address. “What’s wrong?”

Nancy pauses to take a breath, shoulders rising and falling. For some reason, you’re on edge, finding yourself bracing for what was to come.

“Have you spoken to Keanu lately?”

Upon hearing his name, you swallowed away the lump in your throat. After telling your parents what had transpired, it stirred up various emotions—mainly anger from your father, sorrow from your mom. Their hearts sank as you recounted the story, tears blurring your eyes that you couldn’t see their faces. It was a good thing, however; you probably wouldn’t have reached the end.

Since then, they’ve refrained from speaking of him and to him. He’s called the house on a few occasions but could never get past the automated answering machine. Pictures of the two of you hanging on the walls were taken down shortly after the revelation, and you were unsure of who had done it. 

Your parents still couldn’t believe he was capable of such a thing. He had played them the same way you were, twisting the truth and omitting facts. Painting himself in a way that made them think allowing you to stay with him was the best decision when just months before he treated you as if you didn’t matter. 

As if he didn’t love you.

“No.” Curt, you had nothing else to say. 

“He’s a persistent one, I’ll tell you that. Left another message last night,” Nancy comments, feeling her stare as you fiddled with the hands in your lap. The next time she speaks, it’s slow and controlled. She’s careful with her words, wary of how you would react to what she has to say. “Hon, the last time you were here, you told me something. Something that I probably should have mentioned the day you woke up in the hospital.”

You tense, eyes flickering up to hers. “What is it?”

She sighs deeply, her smile fleeting and replaced by a taut frown. “I knew you and Keanu were having… problems. Not the full story, but enough that told me you’ve been unhappy for a while.”

“W-Why didn’t you bring this up then?”

“Because the second I saw him in your hospital room, I could see how much he loves you. How scared he was at the thought of nearly losing you—”

“Pfft, sure he was,” you scoff at the statement in disbelief. “What he did—you don’t do that to someone you love. You don’t lie to them, betray them. Hell, if you had given me a heads up earlier, then it would have saved me all this trouble.”

“Y/N—”

“Don’t you get it? He’s an actor. Of course, he’s good at playing pretend. Got us all believing that things were all sunshine and rainbows. He fucked up and fucked up even more by lying. I’ve always had a bad track record in relationships, so I shouldn’t have been too surprised.”

Tension hangs thickly in the air, an apology murmured at the end of a passing second. You didn’t mean to snap at your mother, to let the anger and betrayal consume you that you began taking it out on others although unwillingly. 

But you were just too goddamn hurt. Every day, the memories are suffocating you despite constantly wishing and pleading for them to disappear. That life, the one you had with Keanu, no longer exists, and yet you were still holding onto the frayed remains of it, not ready to move on—to let go. 

You grieve. You grieve and mourn for the recent past, the happiness and love you experienced in the time you were left unaware. Never have you felt so complete, so content, and much at ease. You had turned a blind eye to the signs, to the small inklings of doubt brewing inside because you thought that there was no way you could get something else as close to this.

Perhaps you were both to blame after all.

“I thought he was different,” you whisper, sorrow flowing from your words. “I thought he was the one. The man I’d settle down with, marry, and then maybe someday, be the father of my kids. We’d build an entire life together, a family, a future. The kind of life where I could look back on it fifty years from now when we’re old and gray and not regret a single thing.”

Feeling your mother’s hand come on top of yours with a light squeeze, you fought off the tears forcing their way from your eyes. You swore you would never shed a tear for Keanu ever again, but you are crumbling from within. The weak walls you put up are now tumbling down, leaving you even more vulnerable than before. 

“I want to hate him. I want him to feel my pain and suffer through it, knowing that he’s the reason why. But I can’t. Somehow, I just can’t.”

“It’s because you still love him. No matter how much it hurts, you’re still in love with him,” Nancy adds solemnly, and you nod shakily. “You’re healing, dear. So far, all you’ve done is put on a bandaid, but it doesn’t mean the wound closes up immediately. It’ll burn, it’ll bleed, and it’ll ache, and right now, that’s what you’re feeling; the pain of a fresh open wound.”

“Make the pain stop,” you mumbled incoherently as you lean against your mom’s side, wet cheeks pressed to her shoulder. “It has to stop.”

“And it will,” she promises, listening to your soft and tired cries. “It’ll take time for the wound to heal, but eventually, it will. Until then, life continues, and you would have to as well. You don’t have to go all-in right away, but don’t let this heartbreak hinder you from living, sweetie. You’re strong, and I believe you will feel that same happiness again, in one form or another. But you won’t find it unless you go out and look for it.”

For the first time in what seemed like a while, you felt something other than loss and despair. It creeps into you slowly, half-expecting a cold, crushing weight to fall heavily on your chest rather than the warmth and light it is. But as quickly as it came, the sensation subsides, a wave of loneliness, emptiness filling the vacant space surrounding your heart.

A shuddering breath released, you then reflect upon what your mother said about time and how time heals all wounds. You wonder how much time is needed until you can finally break free from the remnants of the past and breathe again. Could be days, weeks, or even months more, but it’s right there, waiting for you on the horizon. 

You may not have a place to call home, but what you do have is time.

---

Seconds turn into minutes; minutes turn into hours. The sun sets, the moon rises; bright, blues skies bleed into a fiery red before dimming to an inky darkness. The world spins on its axis as people wake, move, then sleep, and the cycle begins all over again.

Two weeks have come and gone, and life pushes onward. You could tell by the scenery outside where the season of fall has taken charge of the Northeast. Days are shorter, with nights stretching out longer as the year fades into winter. Time was flying by at a brisk pace. Very soon, a blanket of snow will cover the ground you walk on, reminding you to take a step back and admire the natural beauty of mid-November.

The crispness of the late afternoon air is refreshing as it fills your lungs, a welcome change from the hazy summer heat. Leaves that were once lively shades of green are now painted in deep hues of amber and burgundy, and they crunch beneath your boots with each leisure step down the earthy path. The nearby lake is as pristine as ever, sparkling freely underneath the rays of the ochre sun as it waits for the impending frost.

Wandering about outdoors for hours now, you were lost in your stream of thoughts. You honestly felt better, not entirely mended, but just enough that you can step out of the house and explore the quaint little town. A picturesque place, it was a perfect settlement for your retired parents where everyone knew everybody; their faces, names, the street they lived on. Boilding down to more personal details such as knowing the pets they owned, which book club they’re a part of, and any recent travels. 

When the townsfolk saw you, you sensed the feeling of familiarity. Those you passed by in the streets waved at you, and though you couldn’t exactly recall your relationship with them, it made you smile. Recently, old friends and family in the area had begun reaching out after hearing you were back. You never gave them the full explanation, only revealing that things in California did not work out, and you figured it was best to leave. 

Was it a permanent decision? Most likely. Life here is simpler, quieter. You enjoyed the peacefulness, favoring the calm atmosphere of this town much over the hustle and bustle of Los Angeles. It gave you space to think, to focus, to breathe. To reacquaint with yourself, rebuild who you are as a person by taking this journey of self-discovery. 

It’s the brand new start you desperately wanted, needed. An opportunity to find your place in this world without the past holding you back. Without the shadow of the woman you once were looming over you. And if your memories don’t ever return, which deep down, you hope they never would, you would be fine with it. 

You were tired of being stuck searching pieces of the past. You had to live.

Trekking up the gravel road leading to your parents’ home, a black car sits on top of the hill, one that you did not recognize. Perplexed, you approached the house with hesitant steps, dragging your feet through the pile of dead and dry leaves. There was a moment of panic when you noticed a man sitting on the front porch steps, hands clasped on his knees as he hung his head low, a curtain of dark hair masking his identity.

But you don’t need to think twice, for you already know who it is.

“Keanu?”

His name slipping out of your mouth feels different now. Gone is the affectionate tone that it was usually spoken in. It held no meaning, void of any warmth or tenderness. Keanu, the name is bitter on your tongue, a poison that could cause you to spiral down yet again, and saying it out loud brought upon a rage that swirls through your veins.

How dare he show up here unannounced?

As you take your breaths, one… two… three... and out, Keanu straightens his posture and meets your stern glare. Slowly, he gets up, the expression on his face hard to read. But aside from that, he looked worse for wear. The bags underneath his eyes were dark and prominent, the beard on his chin was unruly and untamed. He appears gaunt and exhausted, as if he hasn’t slept a wink ever since you walked out of the door and out of his life.

“What the hell are you doing here?” You’re the first to break the thick silence, a testament of your bravery and strength of some sort. Brows furrowing and teeth gritting in anger, it contrasts with Keanu’s lax demeanor as he steps closer. “No, stay back. You have no right to be here right now.”

“Y/N, please...” He speaks calmly, each and every one of his movements measured. “I’m not here to fight—”

“I have nothing to say to you,” you seethed, shaking your head as you stormed past him and towards the door. Tears brew in your cloudy eyes, a sign of how much he still affected you. Seeing him again after all this time only proved that the wound he had inflicted bleeds to this day.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Keanu quickly trails from behind, his voice dripping with utter desperation. “Please, just… give me a chance to talk. All you have to do is listen, and I promise you won’t ever have to see me again.”

The seriousness in his timbre causes you to halt in your tracks. Swallowing dryly, you turn around, sad, tired eyes reaching his guilt-filled ones. Keanu stands before you with a face written in despair, making him barely recognizable. The way he’s staring at you as if he’s hopeless and in pure anguish is unsettling, and you almost pitied him for it. 

“Y/N…” He pleads softly, defeatedly. “Hear me out, please.”

You wrestled between your options, half apathetic, half curious of what Keanu had to say. Unspoken words on the tip of his tongue, he mutely begs for you to relent, and if this is all it takes for him to leave you alone, leave you for good, then so be it.

“Ten minutes,” you muttered, low enough that he barely catches it at first. Crossing your arms against your chest, the gentle autumn wind rustling through the trees pierces the silent air as you observe Keanu staggering forward, a hand rubbing at the nape of his neck. 

“I’m sorry,” he begins, gazing at you with his searching brown eyes. “I-I know saying it a thousand times won’t make a difference, but I really am sorry. What I did before and after the accident was inexcusable and selfish. I hurt you, and I will never forgive myself that. Don’t expect you to do so, either. You probably hate my guts right now, and flying out here might be a mistake, but I needed to talk to you in person. To say goodbye one last time.”

Brushing his hair back, Keanu then pads over to the trunk of the car, and all you can do is wait for him to come back. It doesn’t take long, but he makes two trips to unload two boxes, setting each of them down in the space separating you two. He instantly notices the confusion etched across your features, burying his hands in his coat pocket with an exhale.

“Are those—”

“All the things you left behind,” Keanu finishes feebly. “Thought you would want them back.”

Stunned, a mirthless chuckle escapes your throat. “You didn’t have to do this. Those aren’t my things anyway.”

“But they are—”

“They’re not mine,” you cut him off with a weary gaze. “Keanu, I’ve said this before; I’m not the woman you fell in love with. Not anymore. Look, throughout those months we spent together, I tried to fit into this life everyone told me I had. A life that’s far from what I was used to. God, it feels like a dream being her. So confident, happy, and successful. Waking up from the coma, of course, I would want that. I had just gotten out of a terrible relationship which left me broken and unworthy of anything and anyone. Then you showed me the love I thought I didn’t deserve, and it kept me from realizing that it was all too good to be true.”

Eyes faltering to the ground, your fingers fumbled with the hem of your sweater, ultimately distracting yourself from the tears threatening to fall. “The truth is, I didn’t know you. You were, are, a stranger to me. You had done things behind my back, hid details that would have been a deal-breaker, but you didn’t care. I’ve thought about it a lot lately; would I have stayed if you told me from the very beginning. I wasn’t sure if I was madder at you kissing someone else, knowing how much it would hurt me, or the fact that you lied to fix this—us.”

There is a moment of silence that weighs over everything. The wind stops blowing; the leaves are motionless. Time seems to slow around you and Keanu as he waits for your next words. Words that you are still searching for since you hadn’t prepared to voice those thoughts out loud. They all came rushing, flooding like a broken dam, too overwhelming to keep at bay. 

“Which one is it?” Keanu probes delicately, equally afraid of which answer you’re going to give.

“Neither,” you revealed, surprisingly. “I’m angrier at myself for falling too fast; for being the naive little girl who let herself be fooled, who refused to listen to her instincts even though she knew they were usually right.”

You see Keanu open his mouth to speak, but you weren’t done. “I always believed this accident was a curse. It erased years worth of memories that, at this point, I’ll never get back. But now, I see the good that came out of it. Our fights, our arguments, they were all signs that our relationship was falling apart, but I couldn’t let go of it—of you. I held onto us thinking the bad will just phase out eventually when in reality, I couldn’t bear giving up on you and this life we shared.”

Another pause. “Huh, funny. Looking at it, the same thing happened all over again.”

With that said, you felt relieved, somewhat lighter. Despite previous inclinations, you didn’t shout or yell at Keanu. Nor did you discuss to the fullest extent of the suffering you’ve endured. Strangely, it was nearly therapeutic admitting all of that to him, to yourself. For months, you had been unable to let go and accept the truth, allowing fear and doubt to control your actions. 

But that was then, and this is now. 

And now, it was time for you to be free.

“Guess this is it,” Keanu sighs dejectedly. He didn’t come here to win you back, knowing there’s nothing that he could do or say to repair the damage. Like you, he’s letting go, letting this be the closure he needs, and you need as well. “I guess this is goodbye.”

“Yeah,” you agreed quietly, “Guess this is goodbye.”

Before you could leave his sight to spare Keanu the awkwardness, he holds up a finger, signaling you to wait a second. Swiftly, he goes to retrieve something that’s lying on the front seat, something that you’ve spent countless hours flipping through. He then reluctantly passes it over to you, and you’re unsure what to do with it.

“Your pictures,” he points out, though you were already aware. “I’m not trying to be an asshole or anything by giving this, but this book is yours. Keep it, burn it, do whatever seems right to you. But I want you to know, to remember, that I did love you. I still do, and these photos are proof of it, even if you can’t bring yourself to believe that I’m telling the truth. You deserve love and to be loved, Y/N. More than anything in the universe. I fucked up my chance to be the one to tell you that every day, but it doesn’t mean the next person you fall for will.”

“Ke…” your voice suddenly breaks with emotion, uncertain of what to add after his statement. It’s because you still love him. No matter how much it hurts, you’re still in love with him, your mother’s earlier words echo in your mind, ringing true in your heart. Even after everything, a piece of you still loved Keanu, and saying goodbye to him more painful than you anticipated.

As you stand frozen, Keanu inches nearer until he’s by your feet, the palm of his hand coming to rest on your cheek. He strokes your face with a tender caress before tilting your chin upwards to meet his gaze, brushing his thumb along your lower lip gently. You allow him to have this moment, to hold you and study you for a final time, commit you to memory as this would be the last. 

Eyes fluttering shut, you feel him press a soft kiss on your forehead, the warmth of it immediately spreading throughout your body before he slowly pulls away.

“Take care of yourself, Y/N,” Keanu says, opening the driver’s side door of his rental. You look at each other once more and see the subtle, hopeful smile he shoots your way. “And don’t be afraid to love again.”

You watch as he starts driving away, opting to wait until the car is finally out of view before releasing the breath you didn’t know you were holding. 

In your hands is a keepsake of your memories. A collection of captured moments that you had cherished so dearly. But things are different now; mistakes were made, words were said, people have grown apart. You found no reason to linger in the past when there’s nothing left to salvage. 

Nothing left to do but heal.

The warmth of Keanu’s kiss eventually disappears, the world around you unpausing, continuing as it was before. You stay standing in place, glancing back and forth between the book you clutched on tightly and the boxes laying on the ground. 

Yet in the quietude, the wind still blows. The leaves still fall, and the earth still spins.

Time resumes, bit by bit; passing for life to move forward— 

For you to move on.

Part 13

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