#there was supposed to be only one little but I’m keeping th typo

[andysanimation]

Movie with a trash little little bb girl who is a man in his 30-40s who needs a job, and has a difficult relationship with his child/sibling. Then gets a job as a night guard and everything seems fine, until the night, when the inanimate objects come to live and get quirky. But eventually understand each other and team up to stop the bigger evil.

[stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland]

Hi guys! As promised to that Anon, I wrote the timelines. I decided to write only the key points though because these are things we already know, and then, I’m sure there are more than a thousand proofs around and people who have already spoken about it. Enjoy.

Drum roll, please 🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Let’s start with the first competitor: Tyrone William Griffin, aka Typical Dish Snacked Ty Dolla $ign 04/13/1982, the man who liked to tweet things like “I’m the curator of lesbians”.

PRen Tyren: As I already mentioned in the post “There is a light at the end of the tunnel”, it all started on the evening of November 15, 2016, when 5H went to the Epic party. Due to Laucy’s picture of the wedding and the ‘official’ coming out then occurred a few days later, on November 18, 2016, Lauren needed a boyfriend. That same night at the party, Typecast accepted the management’s proposal.

Typo tweeted “LMJ” on January 4, 2017, and then immediately deleted it. First move to create speculation since, presumably, Lauren ‘was’ still with Ludicrous. Shortly thereafter, a blind item about L who was having an affair with a married man came out. On January 10, 2017, Nicole Cartolano posted that picture of Laucy in the snow with a piñata. After wishing her a happy birthday, as we already know, luBYE. On February 13, 2017, there were the first PRren pictures at the Grammy after-party, so that people would start believing the blind item, BUT, making it clear that he wasn’t a married man, but a taken one, and yes, MAN, since Tyred is 14 years older than her, and therefore inculcating the idea that L was really cheating on Luggage. On March 9, 2017, Tymbal posted a picture of them together, coincidentally, the day after he advertised his upcoming album ‘Beach House 3’.

On March 22, 2017, we had ‘Bare With Me’ and Nicole Cartolano’s interview with MTV News. On the 23rd, we had, still very coincidentally and totally unplanned, “no I hate it because it’s invasive, scary, delusional, disrespectful to us both and was never real…Ever”, because, because, SHE DECIDES. NOT US. PERIOD. (sorry, I had to 😂. This is another of L’s tweets dating back to July 2, 2017: “I decide. Not you. Period.”) Joking apart, because she was single and she certainly couldn’t let the fans have hope for her and C, so she tried to kill the Camren ship for the umpteenth time. “Hey, hey, Lo, how’d it go? That bad, eh?” “Let me try again in 2020.” “Laur, babe, I’ll tell you what. I’m from the future, okay? It didn’t work, honey. And I don’t think it’s gonna work either in, I don’t know, in 2030.”

Back to the program.

The day before Nicole’s MTV article and eight days later, Twix posted a series of tweets (21: “Lo” - 30: “You look better on me 👀”, Cuban flag, and “I think she like me 😍”) [👈🏼 ‘Great grammar’ said in Lauren’s voice] which he then of course deleted to make everything more and more mysterious, and thus making people connect and figure out who was that ‘LMJ’ tweeted in January. On April 14, 2017, we had a picture of L with TyPod and his family dating back the night before when they celebrated Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’s birthday, followed by the blurred picture of the 15th of them together at Coachella. On April 18, 2017, Alycia Bella, Tinky Winky’s ex, tweeted “when you get cheated on w a 5th harmony member & all you can do is laugh.”, and then immediately deleted it, thus giving even more confirmation to people that both had cheated, despite Teletubbies denied and defended himself: “been moved on :) no cheating. Keep it Taylor’d. gang gang 🤘🏽🤘🏽”. The same Alycia who complained of being cheated on by Telly for ‘another girl’ during the reality show ‘The Platinum Life’ which aired on October 15, 2017 and that was recorded MONTHS BEFORE.

There were other tweets that Tyronic continued to tweet and then delete (April 1: “I think about you all the time” - April 3: “You my favorite” and “I don’t know what I did to deserve you” - April 7: “Really like what you’ve done to me”), Insta-stories and posts by both, and other public appearances together to increase the public’s curiosity. Such as: 1) Mani’s birthday. 2) August 16, 2017, when 5H did that famous and messy phone interview with The Sun for Dan Wooton’s podcast, one of Salmoned Cow’s well-known puppies friends, during which Dan asked Lauren about his relationship with Twinkly and she replied that they were just vibing. 3) Lauren’s birthday. 4) On September 11, 2017, Lauren posted pictures about the FentyxPuma party, and in one of those posts with pictures of her and Troglodyte, she put the caption with three hearts emojis, thus confirming to people that she and Tipsy were together.

February 2017 was the chosen month for Pukeren to ‘become’ official, confirmed by Typed in an interview at the Power 105.1 FM morning show The Breakfast Club on October 31, 2017, though, so a long time later and when the waters had already calmed down. By saying February, Tyring confirmed the cheatings exactly as it was planned. In another interview with BigBoyTV made on November 2, 2017, Typology showed the interviewees how even the background of his phone was a picture of Lauren. Picture that, by the way, Lauren herself posted 21 days before that by wearing Tijuana’s merchandise sweatshirt, so not even a personal picture that you’d normally expect to see from a real boyfriend.

Blah blah blah, Lauren never needed to defend a person so much in her life, blah blah blah, weed and booze and parties, blah blah blah, dogs (and fake allergies when convenient), blah blah blah, #Laurenthegroupie, blah blah blah, Tara and social media don’t get along very well, blah blah blah, #freepoorTweed ⛓️👮🏼 who was just having some fun with his friends, blah blah blah. We know the rest of the farce, and moving on to two years later, and therefore at the end of the PR, on April 15, 2019, Tic Tac tweeted a broken heart before zeroing his social media and Lauren a post on her social media, both implying the end of their oh so real ‘relationship’.

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Let’s move on to competitor number two: Maturely Hushed Matthew Hussey, 06/19/1987. The scammer par excellence (since 2012). The salesman who pretends to be a life coach/dating advice expert by deluding poor women who fall into his bullshit. The charlatan who has an infinity of fraud charges and even a restraining order for stalking and harassment by a woman named Samantha C. of San Diego. [this woman continually talked about the situation on her Instagram account, cheating_matthewhussey. Even Chelsea Briggs liked a picture.]

Ewmila Mattmila: The skit was supposed to start a lot sooner in reality. They ‘met’ for the first time on September 29, 2017, on the set of NBC’s Today show (performance that C dedicated to the Dreamers), but nobody has heard much about it, right? There was only a single Billboard article that did that. Following that meeting, it was supposed to start in October 2017, when they also started to follow each other on IG, but everything was postponed because C’s album was postponed. The album was released on the 12th, and by pure coincidence, on January 11th, 2018, during the interview with Elvis Duran, and COMPLETELY OUT OF THE BLUE, C mentioned Matilda for the first time by saying she was a fan of his. The same Mattress (10 years older than her) who coincidentally was there that day, so a setup for the public to make believe that they’d met that day.

The next day, at the release of the album ‘Camila’, C performed at Good Morning America, and Macaque, again by pure coincidence, had a small slot in the same program. On January 15, 2018, during the interview with Zane Lowe, when he asked if she had someone special in her life at that time, she replied with “maybe”, which was a big yes when she read “I can’t say your name without smiling” just before from her phone notes. On January 22, 2018, on Zach Sang Show, C said that she’s a private person and that she doesn’t like the ‘public thing’ since the Austin fiasco. Another bullshit said to make the public believe that it was the truth and take advantage of the events that would happen shortly thereafter, since, literally 18 days later, on February 9, E! News exclusively posted the first Burpmila pictures on vacation on a beach in Cabo, Mexico.

Blah blah blah, we know, blah blah blah, they lived in airports to get papped, blah blah blah, they even paid fans to do it, blah blah blah, “He’s great”, blah blah blah, “She’s great”, blah blah blah, #They'reGREAT!, blah blah blah, let’s kiss in a children’s playground #Sinu #needyCamila #someonepleaseteachStMatteohowtoholdagirl #SofiwasdecidingwhethertoreturntotheSagradaFamiliaorgoontheswingratherthanwitnessthatugliness, blah blah blah, let’s get to the first oh so real oh so important obstacle in their story.

On August 12, 2019, a Dutch singer named Elieve did an interview in which she confessed that she and Camila were dating the same guy (Matchbox) at the same time. Elieve was in London from the beginning of January to the beginning of February 2018 and Matzo was in London from January 14 to 19, so they met on one of those days.

Blah blah blah, let’s pretend we’ve overcome this obstacle, blah blah blah, let’s pretend we’re a super happy couple, blah blah blah, Disneyworld, blah blah blah, let’s go skiing, blah blah blah, trip to Italy, blah blah blah, Shawn’s entry, blah bl- wait… Oh yeah, it’s the second PR’s turn. Goodbye Ew! ‘Thank you very much for nothing. Bye-bye!!’ said in Lauren’s voice. End of ‘story’ on May 11, 2019, that is, the last time they were photographed together, news confirmed on June 25, 2019, only 4 days after the release of Señorita.

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Even if it wasn’t part of the request, this is a bonus of mine just because.

Señorita + Shitmila Showmila Shawmila: On January 27, 2018, Camila, Shaky, and Andrew, Shavable’s manager, were papped in a restaurant eating pizza before the Pre-Grammy Gala in New York City. That meeting took place to propose the idea of ​​the PR to C to help increase both Shallow’s music sales and his image. Camila was uncertain. 2017 had been a great year for her as a first time as a solo artist, and she knew that she would’ve to play her cards even better during 2018; plus, the PR with Matryoshka hadn’t even officially started and had already been postponed for a few months because the release of her album ‘Camila’ had been postponed.

Andrew explained to her that the PR with Chauffeur wasn’t going to be done right away at all, also because as C would have her PR relationship with EatchEW, Shanty would have that kind of PR relationship/not relationship with Hailey Baldwin (now Bieber) that only served to make people speculate and maintain the idea that Shazam wasn’t gay. Andrew also explained to her that their future PR relationship would benefit both of their careers because there would be a collaboration, a number 1 hit, which they would look for and use as a launchpad for the narrative. #friendswhothenfallinlove #RomeoandJulietbullshit

This perfect duet, went first to knock on Camila’s door, and then to Shuttle’s one in April 2018 in the form of Andrew Watt who already knew everything about the charade. Watt (he also worked on Havana and 7 songs for Romance including Señorita) co-wrote the song in April 2018, shortly before contacting Shitto, along with Jack Patterson, Ali Tamposi (she also worked on Havana, Consequences, and 6 songs for Romance including Señorita), and Charli XCX. [The same Charli who did an interview on October 21, 2019, in which she gave the true version of the story without even remotely mentioning Scab: “This Latin Pop flare just wasn’t right for who I am because I am not a part of that culture, I’m not from there. Whereas Camila has that in her blood, so when we wrote the song we thought about her and sent it to her.”]

Now that they had found the perfect song, and with the addition of Benny Blanco and Cashmere Cat in the production, all they had to do was convince Camila and her team. Charli XCX and C were the opening acts for Taylor Swift’s Reputation Tour from May 8 to October 6, 2018, during which Charli tried to persuade her to do the song by explaining how perfect it was for her. And who knows, maybe even since then they started working on it together since Camila, as she used to do, rewrote almost completely the lyrics to make it more her own. Ask that also to ‘Care About Me’ who turned into ‘The Boy’.

On August 4, still during the Reputation Tour, Shampoo went to the concert date in Toronto, and Taylor posted an Insta-story in which she put make-up and glitter on Shank’s eyelids. Sweaty regretted giving Taylor permission to post the video because people have always thought he was gay for years, and on November 26, 2018, the RollingStone interview was released in which he admitted that he felt the need to be photographed and seen with a girl to prove he isn’t gay. This was a great leverage they used with Camila since she could understand and help a friend in need. The work of persuasion lasted for about 9/10 months, from January 27, 2018, to the end of November/beginning of December 2018. Indeed, on December 5, 2018, both posted a picture taken on the 4th in the backstage of KISS 108’s Jingle Ball 2018 in Boston. Thanks to those pictures and C’s comment, word of their possible future collaboration began to spread. The plan was by then in place.

P.S. remember what happens to Romeo and Juliet, don’t you? Yeah. They die. And like Romeo and Juliet, they’re gonna (metaphorically speaking, of course) die too. Be patient, my babies, be patient.

🎉the🎊end🍾

I want comments now, guys. Which of these competitors you can’t stand the most and why, I’m curious. Put this 🐙 for Tissue, this 🐽 for Matte, and this 🐔 for Shrunken accompanied by the motivation. Let’s have some fun. 🥂

🖕🏼 this is mine for all of them, by the way.

As always, thanks, Mari. 🥰 Bye guys, I love you. Always with love, F. ❤️

[bqstqnbruin]

The other end of the spectrum

I don’t think I’ve written for any av besides Tyson, but don’t worry, he’s in this fic, I just kinda had to. But this was requested like a decade ago (no exaggeration there since you know I’ve had my account for about a year), and I still have three (maybe ?) more to work through. That being said, though, because I suck, Teach me something 3 is probably going to be dropping v soon since that is almost done.

Again, ignore typos (or point them out be like ummm excuse me) 

I hope you like it! -------------------------

Should you be skating with your AirPods in? It wasn’t something that you had ever tried before, but it might be worth a shot now, right? But they were expensive, what if they flew out of your ears during your Biellmann spin, or while you’re trying to land your triple axel and ended up breaking on impact when they hit the ice? What if they fell out and someone skated over them? You could argue that whoever did that would have to buy you new ones, but you really weren’t that type of person to do something like that. Maybe, you could just try with something slow and see how they felt? 

If only the rink weren’t open to everyone right now. Then you could lose yourself in the music of your routine like you did every time you were on the ice alone. You couldn’t make everyone get off the ice, either. Free skate was just that: free. There were parents with their children teaching them how to skate, some teenagers messing around on the ice, laughing, and making fun of how they look with their shorts and skates since it was the middle of the summer. None of them seemed to realize beforehand that the rink would still be cold since it was, you know, ice. One guy seemed to catch your interest: the only one skating around with a puck and a hockey stick. Hockey players and figure skaters were the exact opposite of the skating spectrum; you were all about delicacy and grace, hockey players were brash, crude, and rough. You were even on the ‘rougher’ side of a figure skater, and that only meant that you swore a little too much and didn’t really have an indoor voice. And yet, you were still infinitely more elegant than any hockey player you had ever encountered. 

Whatever. You had managed to be on one end of the ice while it seemed like everyone else besides hockey boy was on the other. If you started your routine or even just practiced some of the elements of the routine that you knew you needed to work on, maybe that would get him to go to the other end. Sure, it wasn’t completely fair, but, hey, it’s worked before. 

The AirPods were going to stay in, you decide, praying that nothing happens to the small expensive things in your ear. You start your routine, drowning out the sounds of the other skaters and letting the music fill your head. You close your eyes, not fully doing each element as you imagine a crowd around you. Competitions used to terrify you; the idea of a bunch of people holding their breath every time you did any sort of jump to let out a gasp if you fell or faltered, people averting their eyes if you had any sort of wardrobe malfunction that wouldn’t necessarily hurt your ability to skate, but would definitely hurt your ability to earn points from the judges, the overall sense of being watched was enough to almost make you quit the sport altogether. Now, it’s just natural, not being able to skate unless you know someone was watching you.

And someone was. Hockey boy, of all people, had stopped what he was doing with his stick and puck, standing against the boards, mesmerized by your fluid movements. He could tell that you weren’t doing everything to completion, but there was something about the way you seemed to take control of the ice that he couldn’t help but just stare at you. Your eyes were closed, it looked like you were muttering to yourself. Your hair was in a bun perched messily on top of your head, random strands framing your face seemingly perfectly. Who were you?

You decide to practice your camel spin; something that you were struggling with was making sure your leg was parallel, so might as well try now. You knew how it felt when it was right, you just had to actually get it right. Your music hits the place in your routine where you start to gear up for it, looking around you and seeing that you have open ice, you go for it. You do the move going right into it without problem. You can feel your leg just out of place as you speed up into the camel spin, not quite there. The music surrounds you in your AirPods, until one of them goes flying out. You stop your spin, trying to orient yourself and figure out where the small white ear piece went on the ice.

“Shit,” you mutter to yourself, scanning the ice to see if you can find it. If someone skates over it, you were going to throw a fit. Not at them, of course, because it was your own damn fault for wearing them in the first place, but a fit nonetheless. 

“I think this is yours?” a deep voice comes from behind you. You spin around to see the hockey player standing in front of you, AirPod in hand. He almost looks nervous to be standing in front of you.

“Uh, yeah, thanks,” you say, taking it from him and putting it back in. The music fills your ears again, only to realize that his mouth was moving. “Sorry?” you say, pausing the music so you can hear him.

“Oh, uh, I was just saying that what you just did looked really good.” His eyes dart between you and the ice, shifting his weight between his skates as he runs his hands through his hair. There was no way a hockey player could be this nervous in front of you. While you weren’t frail, you weren’t exactly made of pure muscle. People could tell you did some dainty sport just by looking at you. 

“Um, thanks. It wasn’t right, though,” you admit, looking at your phone to try to get back to where that move came in the music.

“What do you mean?” 

Was he actually interested? He could have skated away already if he weren’t and you were about to start talking to someone else to get rid of him, nor were you going to try to be rude to him. “My leg is supposed to be parallel to the ice when it’s in the air, and it wasn’t. For some reason, I’m struggling getting it up.” 

You look at each other, both blushing at the unintentionally sexual thing you had just said, “I’m willing to ignore how bad that sounded if you are.” Neither of you can help your laughter, but wow, he had a really nice laugh. 

“Can I help you in any way?” he offers, putting his stick down against the boards. 

“Uh, just watch me I guess? See if it looks like my leg is parallel or not?” you suggest. He nods, backing up to give you space after you hand him your phone with your music playing. You go on with the move, knowing that it didn’t feel right. “I have done this element hundreds of times, and yet in this rountine, I can’t get my leg parallel.”

“I mean, it looked parallel,” he says, skating back to you. You scrunch your face, obviously frustrated. Maybe you didn’t know how it felt when it was parallel? Or maybe you had stretched differently? No, you knew exactly how it felt. Maybe he didn’t know what parallel was. “I could help in any way you need me to, I just don’t know what I would do,” he spits out, his voice shaking again. Was he really nervous to be around you? Since when was a figure skater more confident than a hockey player?

“No, it’s fine, but thanks. I see my coach tomorrow, so I’ll have her check it out,” you shrug, bothered by the fact that you can’t get a simple move. 

You start to skate away, muttering a goodbye when hockey boy speaks up, “Wait! Are you going?”

“I was going to. I’ve kind of been here all day working on my routine, so I was going to go grab food.” 

“Maybe you’d like some company,” he asks, shuffling his weight between each skate, looking down at the ice. He brings his eyes up to meet yours, a smile on his face as his face turns red in anticipation of your answer.

“I don’t know if I should be going out with someone who hasn’t even told me his name,” you say, watching his face go from horror to relief.

“I’m Nate.” 

“Well, Nate, where do you want to go?”

---------------

Nate walked up to the Pepsi Center, feeling weird that he wasn’t in a suit and carrying a cup of coffee, but a bouquet of flowers, dressed in a normal t-shirt and jeans and also using the same entrance as everyone else. 

“Do you even like figure skating?” Ryan asks, him and Tyson trailing behind Nate as they struggle to keep up with Nate’s anxiously fast-paced walking. 

“I think he likes his girl more,” Tyson says. “Hey, man. Slow down.” 

Nate didn’t know why he was so nervous. It wasn’t over seeing you; you had been dating for nearly four months now. He might be more nervous about seeing you perform in general. You weren’t nervous about the competition and for some reason, it made him nervous; sympathy nerves? Were those a thing?

“She’s going to be fine, you know that, right? You said you’ve watched her practice this routine like a million times or something?” Tyson asks, hoping that it’ll calm him down. Nate didn’t even get this nervous when they were about to play a game. They were about to play game seven of a playoff game last season and Nate was the calmest guy in the room. 

“I know, I know. She’s just been struggling with that camel spin since the day we met and her coach said that she was doing it fine and I said that she was doing fine but she didn’t think she was doing fine, and-” he rambles as the boys try to find their way to their seats.

“Dude. You’re not the one performing. Calm down,” Ryan says. 

“I just want her to do well,” he says, shaking his leg, driving Ryan crazy. Tyson didn’t care much, but he just couldn’t figure out why his teammate was this nervous. 

“She’s going to be fine,” Tyson reassures him, hoping that that was enough.

Nate’s leg kept shaking the entire time. They watched routine after routine: men’s short, pairs, ice dance, no one he knew since it was a United States competition and he had no idea who even came to these things. The only reason he remembered figure skating existed at this point was because of you. 

You were waiting your turn to perform, running through your routine in the back area they had set up for the skaters to warm up, practice, stretch, calm down, do whatever they needed to do without pulling a Tonya Harding. Your coach was watching you intently, not nagging you enough to stress you out, but enough that you were fighting the urge to roll your eyes at the trivial things she was telling you. You already knew what you needed to do, and at this point, so close to you stepping on the ice, nothing in your routine was going to change unless someone hit you with a bat. 

It’s your turn, all the nerves you thought you would be feeling melting away. “You’ve got this,” your coach says before pretty much shoving you on the ice. 

You hear your name called over the speakers, waiting for the judges to give them the alright for the music to start and your routine to begin. 

“Yeah, Y/N!” you hear three voices call, trying to be in unison, but just off enough that you could make out one of the voices: Nate. You didn’t even know he was coming. You can’t help but smile, a real genuine smile, unlike the practically forced one you normally had on when you were performing. 

The music starts, you going through your routine like it was second nature. Knowing Nate was there made the routine feel so easy; every move you did felt right, the crowd seemed to be on their feet, not that you even paid much attention to them. You had no idea where Nate even was in the stands, not bothering to look for him until your routine was done. You wave to the crowd, everyone cheering, you hearing your coach screaming from the side. You find Nate, Ryan, and Tyson, excited to see them after the competition was over.

“That was amazing kid! You looked like you went to a whole other place while you were on the ice!” your coach boasts. You forgot you were even actually skating a competition for a moment there, “That might be a winning routine right there.” 

You hadn’t even thought about winning, you just needed a high enough score to be invited to the next competition. It was the road to nationals, the road to the national team for the next world championships. But winning? That would be amazing, and definitely help your case for the national team. 

You and your coach sit down, waiting for your score. You scan the audience, trying to orient yourself and find the boys again. Ryan looked like he was there because he had to be, which was fine; he didn’t really strike you as the type to want to go to a figure skating competition. Tyson seemed like he was enjoying himself, for the most part, maybe he actually liked the routines. But then there was Nate. He couldn’t seem to take his eyes off you, even when you were just sitting down, pretending to listen to your coach ramble on about the next competition. You couldn’t believe he would come and surprise you like this. Or that he would not only make two of his teammates come, but also make them yell your name like they were teenage girls about to see their favorite boyband. 

The score was in, you were just waiting for the judges to announce it. This was the part you hated the most: the waiting. You were one of the last skaters, so whatever place this put you in was probably going to be your standing, maybe one place lower. Your score was in: five points higher than the next. “Holy shit!” you say, your coach hugging you as you sit there shocked.

“That’s first place! That’s first fucking place!” Nate starts screaming, Tyson and Ryan trying to get him to calm his excitement down, especially since there were children around. He couldn’t help it; his girlfriend probably just secured first place at the competition, especially after he watched her struggling with the routine in the days leading up to it. 

The next few skaters go, coming close to your score, but none of them really able to break it. There was one more skater, a girl who’s made the national team for the last four years in a row. If you came in second to her, you wouldn’t be that mad about it. 

She does her routine, you watching on the TV in the back while you know your phone was blowing up with texts from Nate. He knew that you wouldn’t look at it until the end of the competition, but that didn’t stop him from sending texting you about his excitement anyway. 

‘You were amazing’

‘I’m so proud of you!’

‘We’re going out after to celebrate’

‘But if you can’t tonight then we will tomorrow after the game’

The other skater finished the routine, she looked a little shaky in Nate’s opinion, but then again, what did he know. He was just so proud of you. “So after this, if Y/N can, do you guys want to come with us for a little celebration?” he askes Ryan and Tyson.

“Something tells me this celebration should be just the two of you,” Tyson says.

“Yeah, I really don’t want to be involved in whatever it is you guys are going to do,” Ryan adds.

“You guys don’t have to be gross,” Nate says. 

The score came in for the last skater: Y/N had a score 0.04 points higher than her.

You came in first place. You couldn’t believe it. Your coach practically lifted you off the ground, you were speechless, Nate was losing his shit in the stands. You couldn’t wait until after the medal ceremony for you to go see Nate. 

After you get your medal, congratulate the other skaters, and finally gather your things, the only thing on your mind was finding Nate, knowing that he had already waited for so long. “Nate!” you squeal when you see him, tossing your bag to Tyson, causing him to accidentally fall into Ryan as Nate picks you up off the ground, arms wrapped around you as he kisses you. 

“Get a room,” Ryan mutters playful under his breath as you two pull away blushing. “I’m joking,” he says, throwing his hands up in protest, “only get one if you both want to.”

You can’t help but laugh as Tyson tries to hit him with your bag. “God, Y/N, I thought hockey bags were heavy, what do you have in here?” He asks, handing it off to Nate.

“Costumes, skates, tights, warm-up clothes, headphones, makeup, hair stuff,” you start to list off, Nate throwing his arm around you as the four of your start to walk, “I think I have a mirror in there, some books.”

“Books?” Nate asks.

“What? We have a lot of free time,” you shrug. “But I’m curious: did you bring those flowers for one of your boys?” you tease him.

“Yeah, they’re for Ryan for not pouting the entire time,” he jokes, sending Tyson into a fit of laughter while Ryan punches him in the arm. Nate hands you the bouquet filled with sunflowers and roses, your favorite flowers. “These, I hope obviously, are for you.” 

“I love them,” you beam, stretching up to kiss him on the cheek. “You had mentioned going out tonight? Are you two coming, too?” 

“Nope, we’re going home,” Ryan says, jingling his keys in your face. 

“I was hoping to get a ride with you?” Nate asks, “Ryan drove the three of us here.” 

“Sure, where to?” 

“His house,” Ryan says, Tyson smacking him in the chest. “What! They could order food and be in private that is a perfectly reasonable suggestion!” Tyson pulls him away before he can say anything else, Ryan defending him while Tyson just tells him to quit while he’s behind since he has no chance of getting ahead. 

“Interesting choice of teammates to bring,” you tell him as his free hand intertwines in yours. 

He shrugs, walking with you to his car, “They were the only ones who I could convince to come.” 

“What did you have to promise them?” 

“I may or may not have to tie their skates for a few games,” he says, throwing your bag in the back seat as the two of you climb into your car. 

“You did that for me?” you say, pretending to swoon to make him laugh. 

“I think we’ve established that I would do almost anything for you.” 

“Great, because I need to go rob a bank real quick,” you joke, getting another laugh out of him as you pull away from Pepsi Center and head towards his place.

In the middle of his laugh, you hear him let out, “I love you.” His eyes go wide with shock, surprised he just let that slip. He had planned on telling you how he felt soon, but not like this. Not on some night in your car on your way home from a competition. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you can see him starting to freak out over what he just said. That was the first time you had heard him say it, but you knew he meant it. “You do?” you ask anyway, not bothering to hide the smile on your face.

“Well, uh, yeah,” he says, trying to calm himself down. Great. Now he was more nervous than he was before you did the routine. “You don’t have to say it back, I don’t know where you stand and I definitely don’t want you to think that I’m pressuring you into saying it or anything,” he starts to ramble.

“Oh, be quiet jitters,” you say, cutting him off before he takes it back altogether, “I love you, too.” 

[thebadchoicemachine]

For the writing prompt, what about ghost!Robin and Catboy!Corpse seeing present day Cornelius/Dream? Like Dream being confused and happy about his Partner and Son’s Ghosts being there and everyone else being v confused about the two random people calling him Cornelius and knowing him from a hundred years ago.

anon im so sorry. This has been sitting in my inbox for months now but I just cannot finish this story. it a really cool idea though. Here’s my incomplete first draft. I just copy and paste it from my wip to here so this is it, notes and cuts and typos and all. 

The idea is Karl shows up when they’re in the prison and they see the false timeline where Cornelius was a killer and are forced to accept he sucks

_________________

- The execution cell was supposed to be merciful, a more civilized solution than being beat to death, but everything about it made Robin gag. He hoped he would never ever end up in it. 

tw: implied indirect suicide, major death but they’re ghosts(?) 

--•-•-*-•-•-- 

Colors and colors and colors wouldn’t stop melting and mixing and swirling. They surrounded him. They were in him. They were him. He breathed them in without breathing, he bled them without blood, he was falling and flying and stood completely still. 

And then it was dark. No, then it was light. White and clean like the marble of a palace Robin knew he would never get to see. 

Where... where was he? He’d won hadn’t he? They’d... killed... him. They’d killed everyone. 

He wanted to die. He had to. There was boiling in his blood he couldn’t ease, he had to die, he needed them to hate him. To end him. The Jester’s Curse. Cursed to be wronged, to be hurt, to be freed. 

He’d always had it, as far as he was concerned. He didn’t know why he resisted for so long. Perhaps, despite everything, he’d enjoyed living at one point. Despite what he was, despite his curse, despite bring a jester, he wanted to live! At some point he couldn’t care less about tricking others into condemning him to the grave. 

After Cornelius, after Cat, he didn’t even fight it nor could he fight for it. He didn’t even care. Even as the ground swallowed him up in flames of the execution he held no harmony. No peace. There was no joy in his victory, there was no meaning to his death. Even in fulfilling it, he’d denied his curse. 

That’s why he was still here, wasn’t it? Jesters want to die, they want to transform, to be released into vengeful spirits of lies and trickery. He was... dead. He was also... still here... why? He knew why. He didn’t think he liked the answer. 

Robin couldn’t stand it. He couldn’t stand to bother mourning anymore. Not himself, not his long-dead family, not his new fath- he choked. He didn’t know know on what, he had no air, no lungs. He just couldn’t finish the thought. 

“We never did make it official, did we?” A solemn, comforting, voice rang out.

Robin spun around. No. What? No, it’s not. It is. He is. Right there. Standing- no, not standing. Neither of them can stand. Not floating either just… there… was Cat. 

Robin felt his eyes fill up with tears, he didn’t know how, he didn’t care. He flew into his friend’s arms. 

“Woah! Ah, be careful, child.”

“H-how,” Robin sobbed into his chest. “How are you…”

“You’re here, aren’t you?”

“I th-thought that was because of my c-curse.”

Cat sighed, gently ruffling the child’s hair.  

“No,” he spoke, finally. “I don’t think that’s why any of us are here.”

“Then-”

“No, I don’t think it’s what happens to everyone either. I’ve been alone as far as I can tell. I haven’t found anyone else. Not even…” he sighed again. 

Robin understood. Cornelius was gone. 

“I’m so sorry, Robin.” Cat tightened his grip. “I’m so sorry for what we put you through. We promised we would give you a better life, a safer one, but we left you in the worst way possible. You were executed because... because of me.”

“Oh,” Robin stared down at his feet. “You... were there for that?”

“No. I wasn’t- I can’t- I don’t know how to explain it, I only know what happened. Exactly what happened. It was like living a story being told to you, as though a nar- narrating...

Narration. Something clicked in both of their minds. Wasn’t there some strange… the spirals… the colors… he didn’t have a name, not one he ever told them. He had simply showed up one day, right before it all began. He wasn’t there, not properly anyway,. but he was there. He was there in the backs of everyone’s minds. He was there as he explained away every awful thing like it was a footnote in a novel. He was there as he made and told truth. He was the Narrator. 

He had such an air of control, such an air of change. 

Thoughts (memories?) of a past that never happened flashed through Robin’s mind. Cat was out investigating, Robin was carefully looking over his medical supplies. He couldn’t risk- NO. No. He swept the distraction from his mind. He wouldn’t get carried away, not this time.

The narrator. The Narrator. He had a book. A swirling and swishing mash of colors cover on his book he scribed all their horrors into. That’s where they were. 

“Cat, we need to go. He made a mistake. This… was his first time. We are not supposed to be here. We were never meant to leave. We should try to get out.”

Cat only nodded. Robin didn’t know why he understood or how deeply, but he did. This was a mistake.

The two began wandering the halls. It was strange, being able to think and move again as though his body was still his. To have his mind and thoughts working in a stream of consciousness instead of a thick muddy bog of echos. If he didn’t know any better he’d describe it as feeling more… alive.

He even reached out to guide Cat out of habit. How amazing was it that he had habits again? Cat allowed him to because he knew the comfort it gave him to have something so familiar. Although, of course, not really needing him to. They were both still dead, spirits, memories. Living- not living like this, detached, was like existing with a million tiny radars reaching out all around you. It wasn’t a matter of seeing or feeling, simply knowing. When you were so disconnected from life and itself you were able to get a much clearer and instant idea of the world, he supposed.

They walked and wandered in silence for a while. At least, a while from their perspective. Even with no real idea what or where they were Robin could tell time was… off… here. 

Eventually, they found their way out. There was no exit or pathway they walked through nor was it a sudden jump. They had just… made it out. They were standing beneath the shelter of some trees. It was raining. They were surrounded by unfamiliar structures and landscapes. Of course they were, but this wasn’t just some distant biome or kingdom it was…

“Robin? Are you alright?” 

“I- yes. I’m fine, Cat. This is- I mean, that place is just… wow.”

“It’s... different, yes. This rain is- hmm, it’s weird. I can’t feel it but I know it’s there. It’s making everything fuzzy.”

Robin stuck his hand out. The raindrops sizzled against his skin. He was so focused on the odd sensation he jumped when Cat yanked his arm back.

“What was that? Are you alright?”

“The rain, it stings.”

“Badly? Are you hurt?”

“Not really. It feels like I’m a bar of soap being whittled down by the drops but I’m fine. It only feels strange.”

“Oh, good,” Cat breathed a sigh of relief. “In that case, let’s keep moving.” 

Robin agreed. They didn’t have anywhere to go but neither felt like standing under the tree for all eternity. Besides, they were in a whole new world, maybe even a whole new dimension, and Robin was really curious to see what was with those strange building 

It all seemed impossible. 

His breath was taken away at every turn as they walked. Structures like nothing he’d ever seen before. There were so many colors, so many shapes, so many mechanics, so many things, and all so high and huge. It was amazing. 

“Slow down a little, this rain is really disorienting.”

“Sorry! Sorry, this place is just… wow.”

“So you’ve said,” Cat laughed. “What exactly is so amazing about it? Describe it to me.”

“Well, there’s so much of it. It’s like a town but nothing like a town at all. More like a whole kingdom. A very strange kingdom.  There’s no uniform to it, every build is unique. There was a castle we passed, it was huge and had so many colors! There were just rainbows and rainbows pouring out of every-”

“Mmm, interesting.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“This castle though, it felt like regret, didn’t it?”

“Y-yeah? Kinda,” Robbin had been trying to avoid thinking about that, how he could feel every building. “Uh, over to your side there is a pit, a giant crater bigger than our entire town! It’s tragic. It’s refreshing a little. It’s kind of…”

“Familiar. I- I don’t want to be near that, Robin. Let’s keep moving.”

Robin didn’t agree. He wanted to get closer, to feel what was so sad, so new, so ended, what about whatever tragedy there was familiar. He wanted to understand what he knew would hurt him, and why. 

*****

“No! He would never!” Cat’s voice was rising. It was honestly scary, Robin had never seen him so wrathful. “He is the kindest person you will ever know! He is a protector! He’s- he is-”

“Do you really believe that?” The Narrator asked, calm and unfazed, sorrow creeping into his question. Robin couldn’t shake it from his mind. His thoughts were ruffles like pages flipping backward in a book. Like a pencil rubbing revealing words erased and undone but that had still been written. He was sent back to his flashing memories, his lies, unable to stop them.  

Cat was out investigating, Robin was carefully looking over his medical supplies. He couldn’t risk choosing wrong tonight. He’d been right to focus on himself. No, he’d been lucky. He’d panicked. Cat was out to the town now. Robin was out now. The killers knew they could stop them, they would be targets. The killers…

Part of him wanted to ignore it, to go back to thinking it couldn’t be one of them. That no one would do something like that, that is must be some outside force but Jimmy… they’d gotten him right. Robin winced at the memory of Helga, at how it had almost been him, but they’d gotten Jimmy right. He knew they had, the Narrator said so. 

The next morning, no one had died. Robin hadn’t needed to heal anyone. Cat reported Jack hadn’t left his home. It seemed like, well, it must be Jack. It just had to be, didn’t it? Robin frowned. He liked Jack enough, he didn’t want to kill anyone. He didn’t want to be wrong again but what choice did he have?

Jack was fighting. He was shouting, angry, scared. He was in the exact same place Robin had been a few nights ago. The familiarity burned inside his chest. He couldn’t stand any more of this, it needed to end tonight. 

“IT’S CORNELIUS!  IT’S HIM! IT HAS TO BE! Look at me. Look at me! You know me, I’m simple, I farm potatoes. If Helga was still here she’d remind yall I ain’t good for much else. You really think I could do this?”

Robin couldn’t comprehend what he was hearing. He wanted to believe it. He wanted to spare everyone he could but… Cornelius? Could he really condemn him any more than he could Jack? Could he any less? 

“What makes you think it’s me and not one of them? I know you’re a killer, Jack. You guessed Cat would be on your trail tonight and didn’t kill. Why else wouldn’t someone be dead today?” Cornelius’s voice was as calm and upbeat as ever, if not a bit exasperated. 

“He’s smart! He’s too smart. Look at his freaky, calculatin’ eyes, if you can ever see them. Look at him! Hiding behind that mask, wearing that ridiculous green hood, what’s that smile for, huh? None of us should have trusted him the day he set foot in this town, make up for it now. C’mon! Cat, I know you’re better than murderin’ folks for mayhem. Bob, you’re as simple as me! Robin,” Robin froze up as he was addressed directly “You’re a child, a sweet one. I’m sorry you have to live through this. I’m sorry you’ve been where I am now but I only hope that gives you the empathy you need to make the right choice. It’s him. I swear it’s not me!”

Everything felt stifled. He muffled the distraught protests of Cat in favor of listening to his own. No. No, it couldn’t be.  Everyone in town used to be friendly but Cornelius was a friend. He and Cat had been there for Robin. They’d taken him in, cared for him, treated him as their own son. Well, Cat had. 

Robin slowly blinked. What had Cornelius done for him? Thinking this way made him sick but he needed to be rational here. Did he really believe Cornelius was innocent, truly? He trusted Cat. Cat had proof he was safe, even if he wasn’t an investigator he had years and years of kindness to back him up. What did Cornelius have, really? He was kind, decent enough, but so was Jack. So were Jimmy and Helga. That wasn’t something he could base his vote on. 

So what did make him so sure it wasn’t Cornelius? The only… he realized the only thing holding him up was Cat. Cat loved him. Robin wanted that to be enough. He wanted desperately to go back home, to lay in Cat’s lap while Cornelius told them stories. He wanted to retreat into his memories but when he tried they felt corrupted, tainted, hollow. 

Every time he tried to imagine the kind way Cornelius had ruffled his hair, how he’d giggle and blush after a kiss from Cat, how he’d take off his mask at home and join Robin sitting on the porch, every time he tried to lose himself in the memory of that soft, humored, smile he was frozen inside by the eyes. Even when they were sad or kind his eyes were always vibrant, sharp… calculating. 

Robin took a shaky breath. He didn’t like this, he didn’t want to do this, any of it. He was filled with a numb resolve as he cast his vote. He had no proof either was innocent but he had no reason to believe Jack was capable of this… he knew Cornelius was. 

“The voting has finished,” The Narrator began. “Jack... Jack is the most suspected but this means nothing. Cornelius, by 3/5ths of the vote you have been found guilty. Please, step into the chamber.”

-

“NO!” A scream cut through the faux memory, just barely. Just enough for Robin to hear it. Who had yelled? Cat? Cor- Dream? Himself? He didn’t know, he was still lost.

-

Lost… Robin was so lost. 3/5ths. Cornelius obviously voted for Jack and vice versa, Bob was on Jack’s side, Cat must have voted for Jack even if only to save his love. Robin had been the deciding vote. What had he done? Was he right? Cornelius gave him no answer as he calmly stepped into the cell. The Narrator blabbed on, explaining the votes and who and what but for the first time since the colorful stranger arrived Robin couldn't listen to a word he said, instead focusing on Cat. 

Cat had run to the jail, his hands reaching desperately through the bars. “I didn’t want this. I didn’t want this,” he kept repeating. His voice was calm and low but Robin could tell that was desperate. He was putting on an act, trying to reassure Cornelius as though it would all solve itself if he just kept together. Cornelius still didn’t speak. He took Cat’s hand and rested it on his face, under his mask.

Then the grate snaped close and Cat was forced to pull his hand back. He barely moved though, pressing his hands against the wire through the bars. Cornelius pressed his hand up from the other side. Maybe Cat could feel it, maybe he couldn’t, Robin didn’t know which he preferred. 

Part of Robin wanted to put him to back away, to warn him the bars and fence was there for a reason, but the rest of him knew he couldn’t. The least- the only thing he could do was allow Cat this brief moment of closure, if you could even call it that. 

Cornelius still kept silent, for just the briefest of moments Robin hated him. How dare he? How dare he sit there, keeping Cat suffering in silence? How dare he keep Robin in this horrid suspense? How dare he not admit his crimes or keep pleading his innocence? How dare he… how dare… then Robin heard Cat whimper and the anger was gone. 

“We’re gonna get you out of here, okay? We-”

“Well, that’s not gonna happen,” The Narrator laughed, almost callously. If he wasn’t so detached from the world, so different from them he felt innocent even in cruelty, Robin might’ve felt like spitting on him. He couldn’t though, he was different. He was detached. He was like a child who didn’t know any better than to hurt others’ feelings. Like a child except instead of not knowing any better he knew too much. 

Maybe that’s why Robin didn’t lash out or protest as the narrator pulled the lever. Maybe that’s why he didn’t scream as the pistons shifted. Maybe that’s why he only closed his eyes and ignored the shouts of triumph. He couldn’t even find it in himself to be angry at Jack and Bob for celebrating, at the moment he was only glad their cries drowned out the sizzle. 

[yelena-bellova]

Don’t Be Afraid: Poe Dameron x Solo!Reader - Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve: Where We Go From Here

Series Masterlist

Plot: Y/n, Rey, Finn and Chewie return to D’Qar and the Resistance determines their next course of action.

Warnings: angst, maybe one curse word, more angst

Word Count: 7.2k

A/N: This is a messy chapter but there were so many ends to tie before moving onto TLJ. Grief is also such a weird thing to write about because everyone handles it differently. Hope you like it and as always, excuse the typos.

——————

At some point during the flight home, after crying enough to dehydrate myself, I went numb. My tears stopped, my yelling ceased and I simply sat in the co-pilot’s chair quietly working. We grieved losses all the time in the Resistance, but it was different for me this time. This was my father. There was a part of me that wanted to hop out of hyperspace and fly to some corner of the galaxy where I didn’t have to see anybody. But I remembered my mother, Poe, and all the other people that were counting on us to return. I needed to see them and hold them, I needed to know that I hadn’t lost everyone today. They outweighed my desire to run any day of the week. 

Once we had landed safely, Finn was our priority. Chewie carried him off the ship while Rey and I brought up the rear. I’d used my comm to let base know we’d need medical and true to their word, they were waiting as soon as we hit the tarmac. There was a crowd that consisted of pretty much every Resistance member running towards us. The medical team took Finn from Chewie’s arms and I heard them say that they’d found a heartbeat.

“Y/n!” Poe called.

Poe was alive, I had that to cling to at least. I saw him speeding ahead of everyone else, stopping to quickly look over Finn before meeting me,

“What happened? Are you okay?” he asked hurriedly, taking me into his arms. I pressed my face into his flight suit, inhaling his scent as a reminder that he was real.

“Go with Finn, make sure he’s okay.” I replied quietly, he pulled back to ask another question, “Please, for me. I’ll explain what happened later.”

He hesitated before kissing my cheek and running to catch up with the medical team. Someone needed to be with our friend in case he woke up, though that was unlikely to happen this fast. Rey and I watched as Finn was wheeled away, we could do no more for him. 

It was then that I began to process what Rey and I had just been through. We’d fought together and almost died together, but then our relationship had consisted of little else so far. We met each other’s watery eyes and pulled the other in for a hug, holding on to each other gratefully. I hoped with everything in me that she wasn’t going to go back to Jakku, that she’d stay and fight with us. 

I pulled away to pick through the crowd, scanning for one person. I should’ve known she’d already be there waiting for us. My mother and I locked eyes and my heart felt like it was breaking all over again. It was clear to see she already knew about Dad, it was impossible for her not to have sensed it. I took a few slow steps towards her before running into her arms. We clung to each other tightly as we silently grieved together, there was nothing that seemed right to say. At some point we’d talk about it, but the wound was far too fresh. We were now the last remaining members of the Solo family. That alone was one reason I was glad I had survived, I couldn’t bear the thought of my mother having lost her whole family. She pulled away and took my face in her hands, pressing our foreheads together. I could feel her grief, her heartbreak, every emotion that was flowing through her. I’d made the decision flying back that I had to tell her about my powers. She deserved to know and I couldn’t live with the guilt anymore.  

We broke apart and I turned her towards Rey, they had yet to meet but Mom had heard so much about her. Rey looked like a kicked Porg, helpless and scarred by what she’d seen today. I watched Mom give my friend the first motherly embrace she’d had since she was a child. Rey sunk into it easily, but she quickly pulled me by the arm to join them. The three of us stood there for a moment, taking comfort in the fact that we didn’t have to face our struggles alone. I only wished I was shedding tears the same way they were, but I couldn’t find the strength to. All my strength, emotional and physical, had been used in the forest.

——————

I’d never heard the command center so quiet, no one made a noise louder than a deep breath. Chewbacca sat in a corner, a paw to his head letting out a little moan every few minutes. He was hurting just as much as me and my mother were. A couple majors and lieutenants stood around the round table, Snap and Jess nearby as well. Mom stared aimlessly at a chart, I’d come over and put my hand on hers and she’d halfheartedly squeezed it. We needed to mourn together, but we also needed time on our own. Rey sat atop a crate, no doubt trying to wrap her head around the situation she was now in. I sat on the stone seating against one of the cold rock walls, staring at a wall. Poe had entered eventually to report that Finn was stable and the medics said he had a fighting chance. While I was beyond relieved, I couldn’t crack a smile.

Poe kneeled down in front of me, “Sweetheart, what happened out there?”

I met his loving gaze, wanting to tell him everything but knowing that if I did, I’d feel too much at once. It would all come out in a jumble of tears and words. I was opening my mouth to say that when 3PO entered,

“General? Excuse me? General? R2-D2 may contain some much needed good news.” “R2?” I called, turning my head to hear a series of beeps I hadn’t heard in twelve years. I watched the familiar droid, who’d sat collecting dust under a sheet for so long, roll to find me. I dropped to my knees at the sight of him and threw my arms around him, “Buddy, I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.” I’m happy to see you too, but I’m going to need you to let go so I can show you something.

I released him so he could back up next to me and project a large hologram map in the air. Poe pulled me to my feet and we stood together examining it, the map was practically complete except for one missing piece. 

“Wait a minute…” I mumbled just as BB-8 rolled in front of our group to take a look at the map before beeping ecstatically. He turned to Poe,

Give me the drive! Give me the drive! “Yeah, all right, buddy. Hold on.” Poe went to the computer we’d saved the drive in and retrieved it. He inserted it into BB-8, who rolled across from R2 and projected a hologram of the piece of the map. Everyone in the room gasped as Bee inserted his piece into the empty shape, the map was whole. 

“The map! It is complete!” 3PO exclaimed, I covered my gaping mouth and immediately turned around to find my mother. She was just as awestruck as I was, I made my way to her and put a hand on her shoulder. I gave a breathy chuckle and we embraced, in the worst circumstances we had found a shred of hope. My uncle was out there and we could go find him now. After breaking from her, I turned to Poe, who was standing behind us, and practically leapt into his arms. Our mission was complete. 

Less than an hour later, our group settled around the map table to decide what the next plan of action was.

“We’re going to need a team to go and locate Master Skywalker,” Admiral Statura stated. 

“It doesn’t need to be a team,” my mother spoke up, “We can’t afford to spare more people than needed.” “So we send one person to go retrieve him?” Bracca inquired.

“Yes,” Mom answered, “But the right one. I’d go myself but I need to be here in case of an ambush. There’s no saying that the First Order doesn’t know where we are and with what we just did, there is chance of attack.”

“Commander Solo?” 

I was zoned out, giving all my focus to the center of the table. It was the mention of my last name that caused me to finally look up, everyone was looking to me expectantly.

“Are you willing to lead the mission to go find Skywalker?” Statura asked. 

I looked back down at the table, I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to say. I’d fought my mother tooth and nail over the past few years about going and finding Luke. But now that the time had come, I was less enthusiastic about the prospect. I was exhausted, beaten down and drowning in grief. But. war waited for no one and it didn’t care about your losses. 

I nodded softly, “I’ll go.”

Mom looked over, her lips pressed in a thin line and her eyes misty, “Y/n…” “No,” I objected, “Someone needs to and I’m the one that begged to go in the first place. It should be me,” I bit down hard on my lip, every part of me screaming to stay put, “I’ll be fine.” “General,” Rey said, “I’ll go.”

“Rey,” I began, watching her expression change from solemn to confidant in a matter of seconds. “Y/n, you’ve been through too much today to turn around and leave again. I want to do this, for you and for the Resistance.” I ran a hand through my hair and addressed the group, “I trust her, Rey was a scavenger on Jakku. She’s a fighter too, a damn good one.”

“Rey, are you sure you’re up to this?” Mom asked.

“More than sure,” Rey nodded, “I want to do my part.”

The most joy I could summon came out as a quirk of the corner of my lips. I was overwhelmingly grateful for my friend’s gesture though, and I would make sure to  communicate that. 

“Then it’s decided,” Mom announced, “Rey will take the Falcon, Chewbacca and R2 to locate Master Skywalker. The rest of us will remain here and keep watch for an attack. Meeting dismissed.”

Rey was almost immediately whisked away to get a change of clothes and a room assignment. I’d have to talk to her later. Meanwhile, I’d fill my quota of usefulness for the day and was craving the safety of my quarters. 

“I’m going to head to my room,” I whispered to Mom, “I’m assuming you’re going to stay here for now?” She took a deep breath, “I have to, someone needs to be steering the ship.”

I nodded somberly, my mother was the strongest person I’d ever known. Even while mourning the love of her life, she was still carrying out her duties. I attempted to do it but Mom succeeded at it, there was no second thought in her mind as to what needed to be done. 

“Darling,” she said as I’d begun to move away, taking my hand into hers, “Say the word and I’ll come running.”

Unable to think of the right thing to say, I simply squeezed her hand and hurried out of the command center. The walk to my room was uneventful, most people were still outside or in the mess hall celebrating our victory. Victory? Was it a victory? I suppose to most, it was the biggest victory the Resistance had seen in a long time. Meanwhile I’d just suffered my greatest loss and couldn’t find joy in anything. Yet since returning, three things that should have made me happy had happened. R2 had woken up, we’d located Uncle Luke, and Finn was most likely going to live. But my father was still dead, that was the overshadowing event of the day. 

I halfheartedly punched in the code to my room and dragged myself in. Shutting my door, the first thing I did was take off my jacket and unclip the lightsaber that I’d reattached in the Falcon. I tucked it away in a desk drawer, this time out of care and not shame. Dropping the jacket on my chair, I then sank onto the edge of my bed and buried my face in my hands. I felt like I’d aged decades over the past few hours. I shut my eyes and rubbed them, but as soon as I did, I saw everything. 

The red blade sliding through Dad’s back.

“No…”

His lifeless body falling down the shaft.

“No…” Kylo’s face as he attacked me.

“No…”

“You’re a worthless orphan who your brother should have left to die.”

“NO!”

I snapped.

I sprang from the bed and began using the Force to extract drawers from my dresser in a frenzy. Tears fell freely once again, streaming down my cheeks like the saddest river. I yelled as I extended my hand to the dresser itself, slamming it to the ground. Next was my desk, I tipped it over but the drawer containing my saber stayed untouched. I let out a loud cry as I raised my hand to my bed, lifting the mattress in the air and making it fly across the room. Once I’d redecorated the room, I was left with the overwhelming emotions swirling inside me. I dropped to my knees and sobbed violently as I replayed my father’s death and my fight with Kylo. I hadn’t heard the sound of the keypad beeping or the door opening and closing over my cries. 

“Y/n!” Poe exclaimed, his arms wrapped around me and held me tightly. I blindly felt around for his hands, which quickly grasped mine and squeezed. He made no effort to stop me from crying, he knew that if I was having this strong of a reaction it was justified. But his warm touch and soothing voice, repeatedly speaking my name, quelled my manic state. He opened his legs and adjusted me between them, my back falling against his firm chest. I leaned my head against his, occasionally he’d dip down and press a tender kiss to my shoulder. My tears continued to fall, though switching to a softer steady stream eventually. The room was near silent as he gently rocked us back and forth, the only sound filling the air was my sniffling. 

“He’s dead,” I whispered, “My dad’s dead.” Poe let out a heavy sigh, “I thought he might be, I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” “I watched him die, Poe,” I trembled, “I watched Kylo Ren kill him.”

Poe stopped rocking and turned his head to look at me, “What?” I nodded, more tears escaping my eyes.

“Oh, Y/n…” Poe said lowly, “I can’t believe you had to see that.”

“I had to fight him too.” “You fought him?” “I didn’t have much of a choice.” He dropped his forehead to my shoulder, shuddering as he probably conjured up a visual of me battling Ren. I squeezed his hand reassuringly,

“I’m here, you didn’t lose me.” “I know,” he insisted, “I just wish you wouldn’t have had to go through all that.”

I sniffled, “Yeah, me too.”

Poe kissed my temple and between the tenderness of the moment and the memories surfacing, I began crying again.

“What can I do for you?” Poe whispered against my hair.

“Just stay with me. Please…” I whimpered before dissolving into another fit of sobs. Poe dropped his head back down to my shoulder and tightened his grip. We rode out the wave of sorrow together and once I’d quieted down, he told me to “stay there for a second” and stood up. I turned and watched him lug my mattress back up into it’s frame. Once it was secure, he came back and lifted me into his arms, carrying me over and laying me down gently. He climbed over to the other side and pulled me into his warm embrace, which I melted into. I settled underneath his chin and wept into his flight suit, Poe’s hand rubbing my back slowly. 

“Thank you,” I whispered. “For what?” 

“For coming back to me.”

Poe kissed the top of my head, “Always, sweetheart. Always.” —————

When I woke up, I was still cradled in Poe’s arms. We’d flipped in our sleep and his chest was now pressed to my back, our legs tangled together. He was lightly snoring, getting well deserved rest after what we’d been through. However I’d caught a whiff of myself and practically gagged. I was just as sad as I’d been last night, but I could mourn and be clean at the same time. Poe’s grip was tight but I was able to wriggle out, thank goodness he was a heavy sleeper. I navigated my way around the drawers I’d abused and grabbed a change of clothes. I tiptoed into the refresher and shut the door quietly, catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I looked like a person who’d been dragged through a desert, the snow, a couple fights complete with a wicked case of bedhead. So…not great. I peeled off my clothing, kicked off my boots, and got into the shower. I’d been so spent last night I’d even slept in my shoes. Poe hadn’t changed from his flight suit either so clearly he’d been just as tired.

Alone with no distractions, I thought of Dad again. Though instead of thinking about his last few seconds, I thought of our last interactions. In our last day spent together, we’d had two of our best conversations (we were Solos of course, communication wasn’t our forte) piloted the Falcon together, fought together and the best of them all…I’d reunited him with Mom and enjoyed a few short minutes of having my family together again. I smiled for the first time since yesterday at the memory of being squished between my parents, telling them I loved them. Love. Dad’s last words to me had been telling me how much he loved me, how he wanted to keep me safe. The man was a scoundrel, but damn it if he didn’t fiercely protect his loved ones. I’d known people in the Resistance who’d lost loved ones. Their last interaction with them had been a fight or they’d missed the chance to say ‘I love you’ one last time. I was lucky enough to have had a last day with my father that I would cherish for the rest of my life. Dangerous and crazy as it had been...That was perhaps the only comfort I could take regarding his death. 

I changed into a pair of cargo pants and a plain black tank top, understandably forgoing my commanders uniform. I towel dried my hair, brushed my teeth and felt a little better about facing the day. However, I could no longer ignore my stomach growling. The adrenaline that had sustained me since Jakku had long worn off and I realized just how dehydrated and starved I was. I quietly opened the door to reveal a sleepy Poe sitting on the edge of my bed rubbing his eyes. As soon as he registered my presence, he was up and crossing the room to me.

“Hey” he greeted, his voice gravelly, “I was wondering where you went.”

“Couldn’t stand my smell any longer,” I explained with a quiet laugh, intertwining our hands.

“If it helps, I didn’t notice any smell,” he said, smiling down at me. 

Silence fell over the room as our eyes met, his deep brown ones carrying the same worry and sadness for me as last night. Poe had many lovable qualities, but the one I admired the most was how deeply he loved the people close to his heart. He cared so profoundly for me it almost broke my heart in the best way. I gently pulled him down to place my lips on his in a sweet morning kiss. Poe’s lips moved against mine carefully, as if he was afraid I’d break with too much pressure. I almost appreciated it, a heated make-out session didn’t feel appropriate with the somber cloud hanging over the room. My thumbs rubbed against the sides of his neck as we broke apart, he pressed a final kiss to my forehead and encircled my hips.

“How are you doing?” he asked cautiously.

I sighed, “I don’t know. I’m still…shattered, but I’m also grateful for the last day I spent with him. I’m definitely not done crying about it but I also have work to do…” “Y/n,” Poe began, his hands sliding up my back, “You can take time off, you deserve it.” “No, no, not Resistance work. Personal stuff.” He raised a concerned eyebrow, “Should I be worried?” I chuckled, “You hitched your cart to a Solo, you should always be worried.”

Poe chortled, “I don’t think truer words have ever been spoken.”

A knock at the door surprised both of us, I padded over and opened it to reveal 3PO. He was carrying a tray with a large plate of food and glass of water,

“Good morning, Mistress Solo. Your mother requested that I bring you breakfast.” “Thanks, 3PO,” I took the tray from his hands, “I appreciate it.” “You are most welcome,” he began to leave but came back, ”Oh, and she has requested a meeting with you in her chamber before Rey and Chewbacca depart. 

“Okay, tell her I’ll meet her in a half hour.”

——————

After downing the food and drink 3PO had brought and convincing Poe I was well enough that he could go shower and eat breakfast, I knocked on my mother’s door. 

When she opened, she was dressed in a stunning blue dress with her grey hair styled beautifully atop her head. But the redness in her puffy eyes, identical to mine, suggested she hadn’t had a pleasant night or morning. I took her hand immediately as she ushered me in, as soon as the door was shut we embraced. What was it about your mother’s holding you that immediately brought every emotion you were trying to hide to the surface? Quietly, I cried into her shoulder but unlike yesterday, I knew that today we needed to talk. I dried my eyes and walked to her bed, sitting down and resting my arms between my legs. Mom sat down next to me and gracefully folded her hands in her lap,

“I just have one question for the time being.” “Hmm?” “Did you have to watch?” My eyes watered again as I played the long lasting seconds back in my mind, the blade had pierced him so easily. He was defenseless. And of course she’d known who killed him, she’d felt a double dose of pain when it happened. I nodded sadly and buried my face in my hands, elbows balanced on my knees. Mom rubbed my back soothingly, allowing me my moment. After I’d collected myself, I sat up straight and nervously began,

“There’s something I need to tell you. Something I should have told you a long time ago.”

I stood and began pacing, nervously rubbing my hands and trying to craft the perfect sentence. 

“Okay,” I paused my steps. “You might be mad or you could be really worried about me. To be honest, I wouldn’t blame you if you’re both. But please, try to understand why I kept it from you for so long.” “Darling, is this about you having the Force?” “Yes,” I exhaled loudly, “I’m sorry that I hid it from you for…wait, WHAT?”

Mom sighed as she looked at me lovingly, “Sweetie, I’ve known since the minute I met you. You practically radiate it.” I can only imagine how ridiculous I looked with my jaw slack and my brows furrowed deeply,

“W-wait,” I waved my hands, “If you’ve known for this long, why didn’t you just tell me?”

Mom raised her eyebrows and smiled, “Now, I could ask you the same thing.” I tilted my head quickly as if to say ‘fair point’ and crossed my arms, awaiting her explanation.

“Soon after we adopted you, Luke came to visit. As soon as he saw you, his eyes lit up and I could tell he knew. He pulled me aside and told me he hadn’t felt the Force this strong in someone since Ben was born.” I clenched a fist at the name spoken, but kept my focus on her words.

“He told me that when he met you, he had a sudden vision. He didn’t tell me the details of it, even when I pushed him, but he said he couldn’t. All he told me was that it was imperative to your journey that you discover your powers on your own.”

Imperative? Journey? What had Uncle Luke seen in my future? Mom continued, “We told your father, he never knew what to make of Luke’s premonitions but he trusted him. So we waited, waited for you to discover your power and tell us,” she gave a half shrug, “But you never did. Though when you were seven, I began to sense that you were feeling things like fear and shame. Am I right in assuming that’s when it happened?” I bowed my head and nodded.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” “Because,” my head shot up, “Because the first time I used my powers, I used them in anger and it terrified me. I was so afraid of what I was capable of, I didn’t use them again for years.” Mom gave a slight nod, “I can understand that. Well, I can’t tell you how glad it makes me that it’s out in the open. But I sense there’s something more to all of this that I don’t know.” I blew my cheeks out and shook my head, “There’s a lot more. Do you remember the night on Chandrila when I took the Falcon?”

“Vividly.” she retorted, giving me the mom look that made every child feel guilty, no matter their age.

“It wasn’t that I couldn’t sleep,” I went on, “I’d been communicating with…him, through the Force. That night, I sensed he was in danger and he didn’t answer me. I knew something was wrong so I took the Falcon and flew to Yavin 4.” A single tear fell down my cheek as I gathered strength to relay the next portion to her, “It was just as Uncle Luke said. Once I found him, I tried to reason with him but he was too far gone to listen to me. He turned on me and we ended up dueling. I managed to knock him out and was able to escape before he woke up. But not before grabbing this…” I reached into my jacket and unclipped my lightsaber, displaying it for my mother. Her watery eyes widened slightly, but she still maintained her calm composure. 

“I can’t explain why I took it, I just felt compelled to. Since then, I’ve been training with it and in my abilities to use the Force. I’m learning trial by error, usually I do it in the forest or in my room. I started carrying this,” I rolled the saber in my palm, “With me a while back, I just felt safer having it on me.”

I set the weapon down on Mom’s desk and placed my hands on my hips. The next chapter of my story made the one I’d just finished telling look like a fucking fairytale…

“Then yesterday happened.” “Y/n, you don’t have to tell me anything you’re not ready to-“ Mom began.

“We fought again,” my voice wavered, “Rey, Finn and I had just escaped the oscillation station and were racing to the Falcon. He found us somehow and I was furious about Dad and of course,” I chuckled bitterly, “He knew every single button to press, I attacked him and was pretty much ready to kill him.”

My face was wet with teardrops now and I’d turned away from Mom, too ashamed to face her. 

“He tried to get me to join him and that was when I woke up and looked at myself. I’d spent so many years worried I’d become him and... there I was, ready to strike him down. I dropped my lightsaber and told him no, I wouldn’t join him. Just like that night at the temple, he tried to kill me. If it hadn’t been for Finn, I wouldn’t be standing here. We ended up fighting again, except Rey stepped in too at one point. The last conversation me and him had was him threatening to kill me and wipe out the Resistance and me admitting that my brother was gone.” I ran a hand through my hair and turned back to my mother, her face was unreadable. She was staring at the wall, I could practically see the gears turning in her head.  

“I’m so sorry, Mom,” I whispered, “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect Dad, I’m sorry I failed the promise I made you yesterday. I’m sorry I kept all this from you and I’m sorry that you have to live with another family member with the Force.”

Finally, she turned and said, “Why do you think you owe me an apology?” I shrugged and dropped my hands at my side, sniffling loudly as more tears fell. 

“Y/n, I’m sorry that you felt you needed to keep this from me. And I am beyond sorry that you had to go through all of this,” she stood and crossed the room to me, “Darling, people like you and I who posses this gift will always admit to having had moments of struggle with their emotions. But that does not make them bad people or too far past help. You’ve done this on your own for so long, honey, it’s time to let go of any shame or guilt you may feel.” Twenty years. I’d hidden this from her for twenty years, I’d been afraid of myself for twenty years. With her last sentence, I felt the chains I’d bound myself in break and I suddenly felt more like myself than ever. I sobbed out of relief and my mother threw her arms around me. We stayed like that for a while, grieving and rejoicing together.

——————

The machines being used to monitor Finn’s levels beeped and hummed steadily. I sat in a chair next to him, watching his chest rise and fall, reminding myself that he’d be okay. He’d risked his life to protect Rey and I, how was I supposed to repay that debt? I guessed that he wouldn’t be leaving the Resistance once he woke up, I’d have plenty of time to think of ways. 

A knock on the wall broke me from my thoughts, I looked up to see Rey. She was clothed in a new set of clothes, a white tank top, a flared grey vest, matching arm wraps and dark pants that were hemmed at her calves. 

“I looked for you last night but I figured you were probably busy,” she shared.

“Yeah,” I grunted as I readjusted myself in my seat, I’d been here a while, “Last night wasn’t a great night.” “Understandable,” she pulled up another chair and sat on the other side of Finn, “I’m so sorry, Y/n.” “There wasn’t much time for condolences after, was there?” I remarked, raising my eyes to meet hers. She looked like she was holding back a thousand questions and explanations.

“Rey, I’m doing alright,” I reassured, crossing my legs and settling into my seat, “Even if I wasn’t, we need to talk before you leave.”

Rey nodded and her shoulders relaxed with knowing she wasn’t intruding on my grieving. She proceeded to tell me how at Maz Kanata’s castle when she’d gone to retrieve Finn, she’d felt something pulling her in a different direction. She’d ended up downstairs and had opened up the chest to reveal Luke’s lightsaber. When she picked it up, she’d been subject to a terrifying vision that she said felt more like a bad dream. I had to stop myself from laughing, I knew nothing about those…

Maz found her there and explained to her that the lightsaber was calling to her. Rey had wanted absolutely nothing to do with any part of it. She’d run into the forest, that’s where BB-8 caught up to her and the First Order arrived shortly after that. 

“Ren found me there, he used some mind trick on me that caused me to pass out,” she explained, “The next thing I remember is waking up restrained and he was there. He tried to extract the map from me, Y/n, he was inside of my mind but somehow, I was able to enter his.” I had my chin propped up on my fist, leaning my weight on the chair’s arm, “I’ve no answers for you as to how you did that, I’m not as advanced as you may think.” “Whatever it was, I was able to do it without even thinking about it,” she continued, “After that, it just got stranger.” She explained how she’d been able to use a Jedi mind trick on a Stormtrooper to let her out and leave her with a weapon. Now that I had heard of, but never attempted to do. The thought of messing with someone’s mind felt invasive to me, but perhaps necessary in certain situations. Rey had made her way through Starkiller Base undetected until eventually running into us. “We saw you scaling the wall of the base,” I smirked, “Thoroughly impressive.” Rey smiled slightly and ducked her head down. We were at the part of her story where she didn’t need to fill in much,

“I didn’t expect when I reached out for the lightsaber that it would come to me,” she disclosed, “But Maz was right, it called out to me. I’d never used one in my life.” “Then that’s even more impressive than the wall climbing,” I chuckled, I was doing what I could to lighten the mood a little.

“I don’t know what my place is in all of this,” she said, looking around the room, “But I know I want to be a part of it. I just don’t know yet what this power I have is.” “Well,” I began, “I can fill in a few blanks. You’re obviously gifted with the Force, Rey. I have the same power, though I’ve gone untrained since I discovered I possessed it. I was just a kid and I was terrified of it up until today, so you’re already a few steps ahead of me when it comes to acceptance. Everything I know about the Force I know because of what I’d overhear from my family, what I saw in Kylo or by figuring it out on my own. I need help too, same as you. That’s why I’m glad one of us is going to go find my uncle.” “And you’re okay with me going?” she asked hesitantly.

“I’m incredibly grateful,” I specified, “I need to do my job from here for a while, but also selfishly I’m not ready to head back out yet. Not after what happened.”

“Your father,” she leaned forward, “Was a good man. He showed me kindness without even knowing me.”

I squinted, “I’m not sure we’re talking about the same guy.” Kind was not have been the first word I would use to describe Dad. 

“I mean it, he offered me a job on the Falcon working for him when we were on Takodana.”

“Ooh,” I inhaled, “I’ve worked on that ship with him many times before. He was arrogant, yelling orders left and right. Constantly looking over my shoulder to make sure I was doing everything right.”

“So I wouldn’t have liked it?” Rey asked. 

“Nah,” I smiled nostalgically, “You would’ve loved it.”

Rey smiled widely, “Even though the circumstances weren’t ideal, I can’t tell you how thankful I am that you and I crossed paths.” I beamed, “Me too. When do you leave?” “I’m actually on my way out now, but I wanted to find you and check on Finn,” she replied, “He’s going to be alright?” 

“That’s what the doctors told me this morning, it’ll just take him a while to wake up.” “Good,” she was looking him over with such caring eyes, it felt like a private moment.

“I’ll give you a minute with him, I’ll wait outside for you. Take your time.” I stood up and walked towards the door, but not before stopping to place my hand on Rey’s shoulder. She slid hers over it and squeezed gently, our close knit trio was about to go their separate ways for the time being. I exited the room and shut the door so that Rey had privacy if she needed to say something to Finn. After a few minutes, she came out the door looking as ready as she could for what lay ahead. We walked through the base mostly in silence, until Rey picked up on how many looks we were receiving.

“Why are so many people staring at us?” she whispered.

“Word travelled fast about what happened on Ilum,” I replied as I smiled at a waving worker, “I think we’re considered heroes now.”

“But what did I do? You guys did all the work.” “You got us into the oscillation station, plus you’re headed to go get Luke,” I said, “Get used to the word, you’ll be hearing it a lot.” Rey simply shook her head in surprise as we exited the building. There was a large crowd gathered outside the Falcon, people were eager to see it off. 

“Now I don’t have to tell you to be careful with the ship, do I?” 

“No, but why don’t you just to really drive it in?” she smiled.

“Gladly,” I said, “The Falcon means everything to me. I grew up on it, I’ve lived in it, I learned to fly on it. And now,” I stopped before the crowd noticed us, “Now it’s the last piece of my father that I have. If you have any questions, Chewie will be with you and he knows the ship just as well as I do. When in doubt, ask him. Please don’t take any chances with her unless you absolutely have to. You’re a fantastic pilot so I know you’ll do great. Just treat her well, she’ll protect you.” “Of course, Y/n. I’ll bring her back in one piece for you.” Rey assured me, I believed her. 

“I trust you,” I placed a hand on her arm and we began walking again.

The crowd cheered as they caught sight of us, they wished Rey luck as she passed them by. My mother was at the front awaiting our arrival, she pulled Rey aside and I went to say goodbye to Chewie and R2. Chewie embraced me as soon as I got close enough, we both shed a few tears into each other. Short on time, we had to pull away sooner than desired.

“You keep Rey safe and do the same for yourself,” I ordered, “Direct orders from your commander and un-biological niece.” Chewie purred in reply, promising that they would be okay and that he loved me. 

I hugged him one last time, “I love you too, fuzzball.” I went over to R2 and kneeled down, “I just got you back, now I’ve gotta say goodbye.” I’ll come back and I’ll have Luke with me.

“I know you will, I’m sure he’ll have missed you.” If he was going to miss me then maybe he SHOULD HAVE TAKEN ME WITH HIM.

“Hey, hey,” I laughed, “Don’t give him too much trouble when you see him, he’s been through a lot.”

Fine…

I wrapped my arms around him, “Be safe, I’ll catch you up on everything you missed when you get back.” I stood and turned to see Rey walking in my direction, it was about that time. Once she reached me, I saw her eyes carried the same unshed tears that mine did. We embraced each other tightly, I knew she’d be okay but I still had the overwhelming fear of losing her. After years of feeling alone, struggling with my powers, I’d finally found someone who was like me. We shared a unique bond that few could understand, we needed each other.

“Please be safe,” I said. “I will, you do the same,” she pulled away, “Is there anything you want me to tell your uncle for you?”

I sighed, “That his niece wants to hear about his vision. He’ll know what it means…”

Rey nodded confusedly, “I’m trusting you to explain what it means when I get back.” “Will do,” I replied, giving her hand a squeeze before she broke away to step on board the ship. 

I made my way back to the front of the crowd to stand with my mother, catching a glimpse of Poe dressed in his commanders uniform. 

“I’m assuming she talked to you before she left,” I commented.

“She did,” Mom responded, watching as the ship powered up.

“Think Luke’ll be able to help her?” I asked.

“Hopefully, he’ll help us all.”

Our hopes really did rest with my uncle, if anyone could help us it would be him. He’d helped save the galaxy once, hopefully he could give a repeat performance. I patted Mom’s shoulder and went to stand next to Poe, “Love the uniform.” “It’s itchy as hell and you know it,” he replied, sneaking a scratch at his visibly red neck.

I smirked and watched as the Falcon lifted into the air. It was harder than I thought it would be to watch it leave without me onboard. Tears began to flood my eyes, Poe must have been dialed into my senses because his hand intwined itself with mine. They’d be okay, they’d come back, I’d repeat it to myself a thousand times if that’s what kept me calm. The next time I saw my friends, my uncle would be with them. The Falcon jumped to lightspeed and then it was out of sight. The crowd disbanded shortly after, my mom was already being whisked away to a meeting. Poe and I stayed out on the tarmac with BB-8 at our feet,

“What do you have on your schedule today?” I asked.

“I cleared it as soon as I got back to my room this morning.” I tilted my head, “What for? “For you,” he replied, running a hand through his curls, “Look, when I lost my mom I was in a different mood every hour. Depressed, angry, sentimental, you name it. Whether you want to be alone or if you want someone there with you, I wanted to be 100% available.” There it was, that overwhelming, heart swelling feeling of love for him. I’d have to get used to it because I had a feeling that Poe wasn’t going to stop being this sweet. With the crowd gone, I pushed into him and kissed him firmly, pulling him closer by his collar. I’d caught him off-guard, but he settled into it quickly, his hands finding my hips. Once we broke, he nuzzled his nose against mine sweetly, 

“Whatever you need, I’ve got you,” he whispered.

“Thank you,” I mumbled, “Why don’t we go back to your room and you entertain me with the story of how you got off Jakku?” He kissed my forehead, “You got it, sweetheart.” We walked back into base, hands locked together and hope in our hearts that the future was brighter than what was behind us.

————

A/N: There we have it! I’m sad I won’t get to write interactions between Rey and the Reader for a while, but you’ll finally get a healthy, well deserved dose of Poe. And I swear one day I’ll learn how to write a decent kiss scene 😂 Let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist 😊

Taglist: @m1rkw00dpr1ncess @springfox04 @constantdisgrace @holybatflapexpert @seninjakitey @tammythompson-singslikea-muppet @leilei-draws @eternal-fandoms @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @imaginecrushes @eternallyvenus @thescarletknight2014 @simplybarnes @captain-america5 @breyasficletblog @caseymcflurry @stumbleonmywords @april-14-blog @i-ievu @ultrunning @desperatelytryingtosavemyself @caswinchester2000 @meraki-loki @lovinnholland

[f0rever15elf]

The Garden

Pairing: Frankie ‘Catfish’ Morales x fem!Reader Rating: T  Warnings: angst, allusion to drug use (if you squint), death mention, Triple Frontier spoilers, soft!frankie (be still my beating heart) Word count: 1,856

A/n: Ok so I’ve been wanting to write something for the Pedro boys for a long time and I finally had major inspiration strike with this. I don’t have a beta reader, so I apologize if I missed any typos or tense issues! 

Summary: Frankie has left to help out Pope on some vague mission, and you wait for his return, spending your days gardening. You weren’t prepared for the news he brings home with him. 

Masterlist  |  Ao3

You had always loved your little garden. Whether it be in pot planters on your apartment’s balcony or the raised bed in the backyard of your first home or the small flowerbed in the front yard of your mother's house, surrounded by plants with your hands in the cool soil is where you felt most at home. No matter the stresses of the day, everything melted away as you dug your fingers into the yielding earth, still damp from the morning's watering. 

Some of your most treasured memories happened while you were in the garden; your mother running out excitedly with your acceptance letter to MIT, your best friend phoning you to ask you to be her maid of honor, that same friend later asking you to be the godmother to her first born as you both sat pruning the roses. All of those moments paled in comparison, though, to the two most important moments of your life. The day Francisco Morales asked you out, officially, for the first time, the words tumbling from his lips in a nervous stutter, and the day he knelt down among the blooming hyacinth and iris to ask for the privilege of calling you his forever. 

A delicate smile graces your lips as the memories play through your mind's eye as you till the soil around the fall vegetables. Frankie had been the best thing to ever happen to you, you had no doubt of that. Even the most difficult of days, like the day you found out about the little habit he had picked up to keep the nightmares at bay, were still better than the days before he was yours. The gold of the wedding band adorning your finger catches the light of the sun as you finish turning over the soil, and you sit back on your heels to look at it for a moment. The pad of your thumb traces over it lightly as your mind drifts to your husband, currently away on a mission. A favor for Pope, he had called it. 

**

"What is it, baby?" you asked, running your fingers through his soft curls at the nape of his neck, his head resting on his crossed arms on the table. The sigh he had let out was one from the depths of his soul, a sigh you hadn't heard him let out in a very long time. He turned his head, still resting on his arms, to look at you, confliction lighting them that caused an immediate crease in your own brow. "Frankie...?" 

"It's Pope." His voice was gruff and tired and the corners of your lips turned town imperceptibly. 

"Santi? What does he want? It's been...years...since we've heard anything from him." Your fingers had moved from the nape of his neck when he turned his head, now tracing gently along his stubbly jaw. 

"A favor," Frankie said simply. "He wants to get me and the guys back together. Says he needs to talk to us about something big. He's...he's saying it's 17k for a week of work." Your eyebrows lifted at that. Seventeen thousand was a lot of money, and though you two weren't necessarily barely scraping by, 17 thousand dollars would certainly make things easier, especially with the courses Frankie was having to go through for counseling. 

"What kind of favor?" You ask after a moment, but Frankie just shrugged. 

"Didn't say." He sat up and took your hand from his face, his calloused thumb running over your knuckles. 

"...Are you going to go?" You asked quietly, watching your hands and he sighed again. 

"We could use the money, cariña." You closed your eyes for a moment before looking back up at him. He was right, and you knew it. No matter how much every fiber of your being was screaming that this was a bad idea. 

"I know." You squeezed his hand gently and brought your other up to cup his cheek. He leaned into the touch and his eyes fluttered for a moment before he refocused on you. "...Be careful, amor. Ok?" He nodded in your hand and turned to kiss your palm gently. "And tell Santi if anything happens to you, I will personally murder him and use his body as fertilizer in the garden." Frankie's eyebrows shot up at that one as he looked back to you. After a moment, he chuckled and nodded, reaching up to bring your forehead to his. 

"He wouldn't dare to cross you, hermosa, I'm sure of that."

**

It was only supposed to have been a week, he had said. Yet here you were, sitting alone in your garden nearly a week after he was supposed to have been back safe in your arms. You let out a groan as you stood, your knees protesting from the position you had been in for too long, moving to the next row to pluck some weeds from around your corn stalks. That nervous feeling you had pool in your stomach when Frankie had told you about this 'favor' had never left you, and the longer he was gone, the worse it got. Especially since you haven’t heard from him the entire time he’s been gone. What if something had happened? What if this 'favor' turned south?

You shake your head rapidly, clearing the thoughts from your head as you busy yourself with plucking the weeds. If you get caught up in thoughts like that without Frankie here to pull you out, you wouldn't be sleeping at all until he came home. The cool soil that you usually found so much solace in had been doing less and less over the past two or three days, your anxieties always high, mind always drifting to 'what if's. It was like the connection you had always felt with the earth had been interrupted, and a frown pulls at the corners of your lips. 

So lost are you in your own thoughts, you didn't hear the backdoor open, nor did you hear the sounds of heavy footfalls across the yard. It wasn't until the shadow blocked out the sun  over you that you jump and whip around, your trowel brandished in your hand. You blink a few times before the trowel hits the ground as you leap to your feet, wrapping your arms around Frankie's neck in a desperate hug. His arms find their way around you, holding you as close to him as he possibly can, his face dropping to hide against your neck and shoulder. You can feel the tension in his muscles relaxing in your hold, the stress of these two weeks melting away under your touch. 

"I missed you so much...I was so worried," turning your head to whisper against his unruly hair. 

"I'm sorry, estrella...things got out of hand. I'm so sorry." He holds you tighter, his body trembling against yours, and you feel a dampness against your shoulder, soaking through your shirt. 

"Oh Frankie..." your voice is barely above a whisper as your fingers play at the back of his neck, rubbing soothing circles against his skin. "It's alright, you're safe now. I'm here, I've got you." Your words illicit from him quiet sobs as he cries in your arms. 

"W-We lost Tom, querida." You freeze at his words, your blood running cold in your veins. 

"What...?" You rasp, barely a whisper. 

"Th-This village. We crashed and...and they got threatening and Tom...Tom shot some of them. I shot some of them. They were going to attack us!" You hold him tighter as his voice raises, shushing softly as your fingers resume their soothing ministrations. 

"It's ok, Francisco, it's ok. I'm sure you did what you thought was best at the time." His whimper against your shoulder rends your heart in two and you swear you are going to make good on your promise about Santiago as you hold your trembling husband in your arms. After a moment to regain his thoughts, Frankie lets out a shaky breath. 

"A boy from the village followed us. He...He shot Tom, he killed him." Your mind goes immediately to Tom's ex-wife and children, and your heart clenches in mourning for them. Those little girls were too young to have to suffer through this, and the thought brings tears to your own eyes. "We couldn't save him, we let him down..." he chokes out through his tears. Your grip tightens and you lean your head back, cupping Frankie's cheek to lift his face to look at you. His eyes are blood-shot and glassy from crying, and they scream in desperation. You gently wipe away the tears with the pad of your thumb. 

"Now you listen to me, Francisco Morales. I know you did all you could. I know you did, because that's who you are. I don't have to know all of the details about whatever this was, to know you did all you could." You rest your forehead against his own, pushing his hat off of his head. "You did all you could, do you understand me? That's all anyone can ever ask of you. You did all you could, and you brought the others home." He clings to you like you’re his last lifeline, the last thing keeping him from spiraling so far down he would never come back up and he nods nearly imperceptibly, his bottom lip trembling. 

"I was scared, amor," he whispers, voice thick with tears. "I was scared I would never see you again." You tilt his head gently and press a delicate, chaste kiss to his lips, gentle and reassuring. 

"Mi amor, it's ok now, yes? I've got you, you're home, and we're both safe." His grip around your waist loosens as he reaches up to cup your own cheek, eyes flitting across your face before he tilts your head to reconnect his lips with yours, this more desperate than the gentle kiss you had placed on his lips moments before. You close your eyes, returning the kiss as he drinks you in, finding solace in your presence. The kiss is filled with all the things he can't say, the words he can't bring himself to speak just yet. 

You break the kiss after a few moments and he draws in a shaky breath, his tears finally slowing, his body limp with exhaustion. You reach and take his hand from your face gently in your own, your ring still glistening in the sunlight. "Vamos...Let's go to bed, ok?" He nods weakly and drops his other hand from your waist, letting you lead him inside, sliding the door closed behind you with a click of the lock. A click he found comfort in. It meant this nightmare was finally over and he was home. Finally, Francisco Morales could rest. 

The garden holds so many good memories for you. The garden was where you fell in love. It was where you were asked to join another's family. It was where you gave yourself to the love of your life forever. And it was where you were the day your whole world returned to your arms.  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Tag list is open! Requests are open!

[r3almellow]

Second Thoughts (Gavin x F!Reader)

Thanks to the anon who requested a second part to my Gavin x F!Reader fic Late Night Thoughts! Hopefully you enjoy this one! I tried proofreading this so many times, so I’m really sorry if there are any typos!

Warning: Slightly-Angstish

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Everyone knew about the “Bad Boy” of Loveland High. Not many dared to go against the infamous Gavin Bai because they valued their lives too much.

Gavin couldn’t remember where the rumors sprouted from, but if it got people to leave him alone then who was he to say anything? He didn’t have many interests and didn’t see the need to befriend the entire student body. What was the point when he knew he would never see ninety percent of these people in the future? Like most students he only wanted to finish his schooling and get the hell out of there. 

When it came to fights, he rarely started them. It was always people who felt threatened by him. The reason for that was beyond him, but he had no problem throwing a few punches if it meant he would be left alone afterwards. These beliefs made him seem disinterested, unapproachable, and straight up intimidating. You had to have had a few screws loose to want to befriend him. Which…in hindsight, probably explained why Minor was stuck to his side like glue.  

However, Gavin would be a liar if he said the rumors that floated around didn’t bother him a little bit. It was even worse when he came across you, the small nerdy looking shy girl who seemed too innocent and kind for her own good. Gavin couldn’t quite understand it at first, but there was something about you that immediately grabbed his attention. Was it the big rimmed glasses or the way your fingers effortlessly danced across the piano keys in the “empty” music room? He wasn’t sure. What was first a spark of curiosity turned into a full on crush. For the first time in Gavin’s life he was interested in someone. He wanted to get to know you. What were your interests? What was your favorite food? What made you happy? What made you cry? What kind of guys were you interested in? He wanted to know it all. All he had to do was take that first step and talk to you.  

Unfortunately, you were one of the many who were weary of him. He didn’t blame you. Who would want to talk to someone who got into fights constantly, had the school faculty cowering before him and allegedly threw another student out a window for “accidentally touching” a female student? In Gavin’s defense, it was out the first floor window and the grass probably cushioned the assholes fall. With rumors like that what girl would want to have anything to do with a guy like him? Despite all that you were always kind the very few times you two crossed paths. You even gave Minor a first aid kit in hopes to help patch Gavin up after one of his really bad scuffles.

You were so nice. He had never known such kindness before. His upbringing didn’t allow him to experience that and there you were throwing a smile at him when ever you glanced his way; before running off with your group of friends. You have no idea how much those smiles brightened his day.

Despite fearing him, maybe you knew that deep down Gavin wasn’t some misunderstood monster. Maybe you saw something in him that no one else saw. And maybe that’s why the boy who never cared to prove himself to others, grew into the man who wanted to prove himself to you.

And his hard work paid off years later.

When you agreed to be his girlfriend, Gavin was shocked to say the least. Sure you two had grown close since your reunion, but he never thought in a million years that you would have given him a chance.

After a year of dating, Gavin knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you.

He played with the idea of asking you out right a few months ago while your sleeping form laid in his arms. He remembered casually asking you to marry him and you mumbled a somewhat coherent “yes.” He knew you couldn’t comprehend what he was asking, but that didn’t stop his heart from almost leaping out of his chest. Gavin knew it was only a matter of time before he asked you. He just needed the courage to do it.

Marriage was a big step and while he knew you loved him, there was a lingering feeling of doubt. Love and marriage were two different things. You could love someone and not be ready to take that leap. What if you had no intentions of getting married? What if he scared you off? What if this was all a dream and the minute he got down on one knee you would be replaced with his father.

“You want a wife? A husband is the foundation of a family. The protector. How do you expect to protect your “wife” when you couldn’t even protect your mother?” His father’s words would echo in his head and suddenly marriage was just a fools dream. 

It was rare for his thoughts to travel to such a dark place, but they were there nonetheless. 

You needed someone who could protect you, be with you for every good and bad moment in your life, and most importantly make you feel loved. Despite his fears, Gavin wanted to be that person who gave you the world. 

He thought about how he was going to propose many times. It had gotten so bad that he had to enlist the help of Minor and Eli. Surprisingly, Minor was really good at throwing some ideas his way and Eli brought Gavin to ring maker who specialized in making custom wedding rings. He ended up walking away with the perfect ring which he’s been walking around with for the past three months.

Gavin almost had all the pieces, he just needed t-

“Earth to Gavin!” A loud feminine voice pierced through Gavin’s thoughts, bringing the man back to the present. His line of vision was quickly met with hands waving in his face and a slightly amused you looking at him.  

“We’re going to be late for the Policeman’s Ball if you keep spacing out like that.” Oh right. That was something he was supposed to be getting ready for. 

Gavin thought about asking you at the Ball. There was a nice gazebo behind the building he could take you to.  Although he’d rather not be surrounded by his colleagues, as he asks you the most important question that could be a turning point in your relationship. 

Even so, he had the box containing the ring in his back pocket just in case he was feeling spontaneous. 

“You know we could always skip it.” Not like they had to be there and Gavin wasn’t much for parties. 

You gave him a disapproving look. 

“Like we did last year because a certain someone couldn’t keep his hands to himself? No way!” 

To be fair, you were the one who initiated what led to an all night love making session, not that Gavin was complaining. He’d much rather spend the rest the of his night worshiping you than going to an event he had no interest in.

Ignoring his small frown, you turned your back to him, revealing your partially exposed back.

“Zip me, please.” Gavin heard you say. He eyed the zipper that stopped half way up your back and glared. Cursed thing. Gavin had half a mind to see if he could convince you to play hooky with him, but decided against it. 

He reluctantly zipped up your dress, earning him a quick kiss and “thank you” from you. 

You made your way over to the full length mirror to check yourself out. The long red dress that tightly hugged your body, showing off your curves in all of Gavin’s favorite places, was beautiful; but he would much rather look the gorgeous body hiding underneath.

“You think the food will be good?” You asked. That was probably your only concern for the night. 

Gavin shrugged as he made his way over to the nightstand in search for his cufflinks. Events like that always had drinks and finger food that was probably way too expensive than it needed to be. They were never filling either...

“Not sure. If anything we can grab something to eat on the way back.” He watched your eyes light up through the mirror at the idea. You were so cute. 

“Hopefully that hotpot buffet place around the corner will still be open.” You said with a happy sigh.

“Worst case, I’ll cook.” Gavin wasn’t a master chef, but he did pick up a few things once you two started dating. Out of the two of you, you claimed he was the better cook, but honestly Gavin would eat your home-cooked meals all day if he could. 

“You’re so good to me! Did anyone ever tell you that you’d make a good husband?” You jokingly questioned as you rummaged through the closet for a pair of heels.

Gavin wasn’t sure what came over him at that moment, but the next sentence that passed his lips would change your relationship forever. 

“Good enough to be your husband?” And just like that, silence filled the room. Gavin was prepared to smack himself. He was always straightforward and honest with his feelings, but now definitely wasn’t the time for that. 

Before he could backtrack and claim his question to be a joke you spoke out. The shakiness in your voice evident. 

“Do...do you want to be?” Your question surprised him, but it gave him hope. Hope that maybe just maybe...

“I do.” His voice was low, but with your refusal to look in his direction and the way your back tensed up he knew you heard him.

There was no going back now. No incoherent talks of hotpot weddings, no more ghosts of his past trying to deter him, and no more waiting. 

“If this is your way of getting out of th-” You paused mid-sentence as you turned to face Gavin who was currently kneeling  on one knee before you with a small box in his slightly shaken hand.

Suddenly Gavin forgot how to breathe. For the first time in a really long time Gavin was fearful as hell. So much could go wrong in this moment and not being sure how this was going to go was full on torture. 

This might not have been how you would have imagined a proposal from Gavin would be, but he hoped with every fiber of his being that this was enough. That he was enough. 

Gavin opened the box, revealing a beautifully crafted silver band in the shape of two ginkgo leaves, holding a diamond ring. 

“Will you marry me?” 

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Done! There were so many ways I wanted to go about this, but I hope this end result was to everyone’s liking. I feel like Gavin is a total sweetheart and while he’s pretty nonchalant about a lot of things he tries to do right by you. I also believe his proposal would be an accident. I actually have a n/swf proposal idea if anyone was interested in that. What do you think? Please leave a comment! Have a request? Drop me a message! You can also read my other MLQC works here!

[namsjunies]

infatuated // jjk

anon requested: can you write a nsfw blurb of nerd virgin jk losing his virginity to his female crush who’s like popular and he thinks is super hot lmao?

pairing: jungkook/female reader

word count: 3,059

tags: loss of virginity, handjob, face sitting, safe, penetrative sex

this goes way beyond being a blurb but i hope that makes it worth the time it took me to write it. please enjoy <3 also this is unedited so please excuse any typos hehe

Jungkook doesn’t know what it is about you that made you so appealing to him, aside from the obvious: your appearance. He’d spoken to you in passing, more in a group conversational context than one on one and he’d heard you speak in a single class he’d miraculously shared with you during his third semester. You’re nice and smart as far as he can tell, but you hang around in the same circles as Taehyung and Jimin who are whispered about all over campus, as vast as it is, because of their looks and their charming personalities. 

Jungkook doesn’t get around much in terms of parties and clubbing, he promised himself he’d be diligent with his studies even if it meant sacrificing a lot of what people claim shapes a college experience. But Jungkook thinks much of what shapes a college experience is actually graduating over flunking out. It’s not that he doesn’t do anything at all, but he has priorities and he’s not going to sacrifice his ambition for the consequences of questionable actions.

Yet somehow, Jungkook becomes close to Taehyung after taking a number of classes with him over several semesters and suddenly he’s navigating through social circles he’s not quite sure he fits in well with. But, it brings him closer to you, who he’d been slowly developing what feels like a high school crush for the more he sees of you and the more he hears of you from his new friends. They talk about you so casually, and Jungkook just finds himself wishing he knew you like that.

Jungkook thinks Taehyung is trying to take him under his wing, help Jungkook become more open and social while still allowing him to maintain his focus on what he considers the most important. So it’s only after midterms end that Taehyung invites Jungkook to a big party rather than the more casual settings they usually hang out in. Jungkook is apprehensive at first, he’s not so sure about being somewhere unfamiliar around so many people he doesn’t know, but he receives reassurance from Taehyung that there will be plenty of people who Jungkook considers friends (and hearing that you will be there is enough reason already).

So maybe Jungkook puts even more pressure on himself to look nice for the party in an effort to impress you. He pushes his hair back away from his face to expose his forehead rather than settling for his normal look, and dresses himself in a blue satin button up and some black jeans. He feels like he might be just slightly too formal for a college party, but he’d rather look good than be underdressed. But upon arriving, he doesn’t feel bad, because Taehyung is dressed in his normal semi-formal attire--loose slacks and a dress shirt--and he offers Jungkook a grin and a clap on the back of his shoulder when he catches sight of him.

“Jimin and Hoseok are on the couch, I’ll get you a drink and then head over there,” Taehyung tells him before nudging him in the right direction.

Jungkook makes his way through a number of people hovering around drinking and talking and swaying in beat with the music permeating through the house before he spots his friends and the only place that he’s able to take a seat is on the armrest next to Jimin. Jimin then just offers him a warm smile. “I’m glad you made it, JK. Tonight will be fun.”

Jungkook is happy to be around his friends, and when Taehyung comes back and presses a cold beer bottle into Jungkook’s hand, their conversation carries on for a while pleasantly. Jungkook loosens up slowly, between all the talking and the music he’s vaguely familiar with and the alcohol. But despite how content he feels, he can’t help but wonder where you are after Taehyung had emphasized quite clearly that you would be around that night. Jungkook is sure that you’re surrounded by other friends in some other part of the house that he has yet to explore, but as soon as the thought enters his mind, he catches sight of you across the living room by the staircase. You keep getting caught up in brief conversations, but you’re clearly making your over to Jungkook (and the rest of your friends too, he supposes). He wonders if tonight he’ll finally be able to grab and maintain your attention. Sometimes, the way you would look at him and talk to him, so attentively with your eyes wide and sparkling welcomingly, he would feel so special and his cheeks would heat up under your gaze and he’d struggle to continue a conversation. All a part of having a crush, but it didn’t make Jungkook feel any better about making a fool of himself in front of you. He likes to think that he’d gotten more comfortable around you since Taehyung befriended him, but that thought could just be Jungkook’s own wishful thinking.

Eventually, after minutes of stealing glances over to you to measure your distance away, you’re finally standing in front of him. Jungkook’s anxiety tells him that you’re scrutinizing him, but you’ve only glanced at him for a second and then you’re smiling as you compliment him.

“Jungkook, I’m so happy to see you. I was hoping you would make it. I feel like I never see you outside of campus, I’ve been waiting for the chance to really talk to you.”

Your words alone are enough to make Jungkook’s heart drop into the pit of his stomach, but in accompaniment with your tempting tone, he feels like he might pass out altogether. His hand squeezes tight around his half empty bottle and he smiles uncomfortably wide.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t miss this. I’ve been putting off Taehyung’s invitations long enough. Plus, getting to see you makes this all the more worth it.”

Jungkook himself is amazed by how easily the words leave his mouth, and he feels somewhat triumphant when you smirk at him and tilt your head in response. A second later, Jimin is offering you his seat on the couch and as you sit, you drape your hand casually over Jungkook’s thigh as you peer up at him expectantly.

You’d always found Jungkook attractive, more than you care to admit to yourself. His eyes are always bright, glimmering with kindness, and of all the times you’d spoken to him briefly, you’d never once found him boring and honestly you ended up wishing that you saw him more often. But it’s also easy to catch on to the way he blushes and smiles shyly around you, even if now he sounds so confident.

You’re pleased with the way the night continues, being able to really talk to Jungkook for longer and learn more about him, with brief interruptions from Jimin vying for attention when Taehyung walks away every once in a while. But as time passes, you become more distracted by the way his pink  lips part when he speaks or licks his lips, or how his arm flexes as he stretches or adjusts his grip on the empty bottle she’s pretty sure he’s keeping as a form of decoration. Your hand is still braced on his thigh almost possessively, and every time you move it up so much as a centimeter, there’s a new wave of blush blooming over Jungkook’s round cheeks. But you’re getting impatient, and you’re confident enough in his feelings for you that it gives you the courage to ask, “Do you want to go home with me?”

Jungkook sighs in what sounds like relief and nods, “Yes.”

The next 20 minutes pass in a blur with you reassuring him that yes, you like him a lot and you know he likes you too during the Uber ride to your apartment and as you’re unlocking the front door you ask if he’s sure to which he answers you with an urgent kiss as soon you’ve shut the door behind the both of you.

“The only thing is,” he breathes out as you’re pushing him down on your bed, and you pause then, wait for him to finish speaking before you even attempt another move on him. “I don’t really have, um, any experience,” he stammers, and all in the next breath he continues, “Is that a deal breaker? Is that something I should’ve mentioned earlier? I’m sorry I just really like you and, and I was hoping that it wouldn’t matter anyways-” he’s cut off when you lean down to kiss him again briefly.

“Jungkook, that doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you’re comfortable, okay? Let me know if you start feeling uncomfortable or something, I want this to be good for you,” you mumble with another soft kiss against his jaw.

You kiss him for a few minutes, it turns wet and sloppy quickly but the way that he breathes out a quiet moan against your lips just encourages you and you pull away only to start down the length of his throat. The loose fit of his shirt allows you to slide your hands underneath his shirt, feeling up the smooth expanse of his taut stomach until you reach his nipples. Your teasing draws out a whimper from him and you pull back to look at him as he blinks up at you shyly, eyes wider and darker than normal. “‘M sensitive,” he mumbles before you kiss him again hard.

“Cutie,” you giggle to yourself. “I wanna play with you a little bit more. Do you think you can undress yourself?”

After you receive a nod from him, you get off of him and stand so you can slip out of your own clothes, and once you’re left in your underwear, his awed expression is enough to make you shy as well. So you recover your confidence by gesturing for him to lie back again.

“Y’know, I don’t do this a lot either. But, I’m more than happy to be with you,” you tell him as you straddle his thighs, enough space in front of you to be able to slide your hand into his underwear and pull his cock out, already fully hard with the slightest touch of precum beading at the tip.

“Fuck,” he hisses softly as you swipe your thumb over the head of his cock to drag his precum down the length before you wrap your hand around the base.

“Already so hard and I’ve hardly even touched you. With how responsive you are, it’ll be so easy to learn everything you like,” you coo lovingly as he flushes with embarrassment and throws his head to the side.

You pull your hand away from him, still not satisfied with how wet he is and you don’t want the friction to hurt him, so you get off of him one last time to lean over to your nightstand and pull out a bottle of lube.

You’re on top of him again before he’s able to process that you’d gone at all, stripping him completely of his underwear before drizzling a surplus of lube over his cock before you’re taking him into your hand again and stroking him slowly, coaxing a reluctant moan from his throat.

“Such a nice cock, Jungkookie. Dripping and waiting for me. I’m going to make this so worth it for you.”

Jungkook doesn’t know what he did in his previous life to deserve having you on top of him, gazing down at him so lustfully and touching him in ways that he didn’t even know could feel good. He’s not sure if he’ll ever stop blushing again, but his embarrassment escapes him immediately, the same as the whine he lets out, as you squeeze your hand around him briefly before you keep sliding your hand up and down his cock.

He keens as you continue to touch him, and you’re mesmerized by his glistening eyes and his slick lips as he peers up at you. Minutes pass with his soft whimpers only increasing in volume as you tease his cock and his nipples, his hips are twitching and stirring eagerly underneath you.

“I’m, I’m close,” he stutters, fingers curling tight in the sheets and he squeezes his eyes shut as if he’s bracing himself, but then you’re pulling your hand away and letting his cock lay twitching and neglected against his stomach. He lets out a whine that almost makes you want to finish him off but you shake your head instead.

“ I can’t let you cum just yet. Don’t worry, I won’t tease you for too much longer,” you whisper with a playful grin blossoming across your lips.

“Can I touch you?” he asks after he’s able to catch his breath and recover from his orgasm that never was.

Your smile only grows wider, fonder, and you nod. You take his hands and guide them up your sides until they reach your breasts and he reacts immediately. He shakes your hands off his wrists and he sits up as he toys with your nipples so he can slot your lips together in another sloppy kiss. He’s satisfied with the noise you make as his left hand closes over one of your nipples and his right hand slides down your torso until he can press it flat over your cunt.

“In my experience, this is not virgin behavior,” you manage to exhale. Your underwear is damp with your arousal and as he pulls your underwear to the side so he can drag his fingertip over your clit, a whimper leaves your lips.

“Fuck, you’re so wet. All for me,” he sighs happily and you struggle to imagine what he’s seen or read that has prepared him for this moment but you’ll just ask him later. He mouths down your throat before he captures one of your nipples in his mouth just as he presses one of his fingers into your entrance. The palm of his hand is pressed deliciously up against your clit as he touches you tentatively, and it’s one of the only times you’ve noticed how unsure of himself he is.

“Jungkook. That’s good, it’s good. Keep going,” you breathe out encouragingly and one of your hands moves up instinctively to grab at his hair. You’re surprised when he pulls his hand away entirely and you’re more than disappointed by the loss until he looks up at you.

“Sit on my face,” he breathes out with a slight chuckle in his tone.

“Oh so you’re really feeling brave,” you tease him. “Are you sure?” you add, to which he just nods eagerly and both of his hands rest on your hips, urging you up again as he lies back.

That’s all the convincing it takes before you’re sitting up. You pull your underwear off completely and a second later you’re hovering over his head with your thighs spread welcomingly and he braces his hands against your thighs, pulling you down until he can press his mouth against you.

You can’t help the moan you express as he licks eagerly into your entrance, whimpering intelligibly about how good you taste, and when his lips close around your clit and he sucks enthusiastically, you feel like you’re about to collapse on top of him.

“Ah, juh, just like that, Kook,” you whimper as your hands tighten in his hair and your thighs shake, threatening to close around his head. His fingers feel like they’re pressing into your hips so hard that they might leave bruises but you can’t bring yourself to care when his mouth alone is making you feel so good.

You pull your hands away from his scalp and you lean forward involuntarily, your hands catching in the sheets to keep holding yourself up the best you can.

“Okay, fuck, okay, Jungkook, Jungkook,” you gasp, reluctantly and weakly lifting yourself off him to straddle his hips once more. “Not that that wasn’t good,” you mumble as you push your hair away from your face, and look down appreciatively at his face, shining with your wetness. He licks his lips contently and sits up again, props himself up on his elbows. “But I want your cock,” you finish.

Jungkook was feeling proud of himself for appearing to be doing so well for his first serious experience, but he supposes that you’re both old enough and you’re doing a well enough job telling him what you like that it doesn’t have to be as messy and terrible as others make it out to be.

It’s definitely not terrible as you sink down on his cock as soon you roll a condom on, and the warmth and tightness of your pussy is enough to take him to the edge of his climax again. “Feels so good,” he whimpers as you steady yourself with your hands on his chest and create a steady rhythm lifting and lowering yourself back down on his cock.

Jungkook’s hands are squeezing your thighs or your hips as you ride him, and he lets out a series of bated breaths and stuttering groans as you fuck him. You grab one of his hands and pull it down to press his fingers against your clit, letting out your own noise of satisfaction as he takes the initiative to press his thumb against the bud and rub it in tight circles.

He can feel his orgasm building up hotly in the pit of his stomach within a few minutes and he tells you this verbally: “I’m close.”

You’re pleased that you’re right behind him when he says this, your tummy tightening pleasantly with all the sensations coming down on you. “I’m, ah, I’m cumming, baby. Cum, Jungkook, you can cum,” you moan out, losing most of your ability to continue fucking yourself down on him.

Jungkook feels overwhelmed as you clench around him, his orgasm coming down on him like a tsunami at the same time, and even when you’re recovering, laying down next to him, his body still feels like it’s pulsing.

But you feel the same, and it takes you a minute to speak.

“How was that?”

Jungkook blinks once or twice as he registers your words and he lets out a content sigh. “I didn’t think it would be like that.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment… Why don’t you stay the night?”

[neerasrealm]

All of my unpublished Slenjack fics

All of them. Since I began writing about these two in May. This is four months of drabbles. I tried to put them in chronological order and some of them have iffy canonicity. Please enjoy. If there’s typos pls ignore them thanks.

Thunder

Slender wished his bunker was deeper underground. They were safe down there, yes, but he could still hear things from above ground loud and clear. Specifically the irritating whistling noise made by falling bombs before the loud rumbling boom that seemed to shake the ground above him.

He looked up at the ceiling once the shaking had died down. He briefly glanced at the only other person in the bunker, Laughing Jack, then back down at his book. Then he looked back at Jack.

He was sat on thei- Slender, Slender's bed, staring at the ceiling. He looked to be breathing shakily, eyes glued to the concrete above their heads as he gripped the bed's blanket tightly in his bony black fingers. Slender heard another whistling noise, and saw Jack tense. There was another rumbling boom and the monochrome clown let out a quiet whine of fear. He quickly hugged himself, screwing his eyes shut.

He watched, taken aback. He'd never known Jack to get so scared- save for when he had nightmares. He heard another telltale whistle, and before he could think about it, he crossed the bunker and sat down next to Jack. He wrapped an arm around the clown and pulled him close. Jack's eyes opened in surprise. He looked up at Slender for a moment before the inevitable boom came from above them. Jack made a small yelp of surprise and quickly wrapped his arms around Slender, burying his face in his chest.

Slender tensed for a moment. He heard Jack inhale shakily and he relented, rubbing his back slowly.

"...'m scared've thunder." Jack said after a long, long silence. Slender looked down in surprise. "Dunno why. I's jus' always freaked me ou'."

"I see." Slender rubbed circles into Jack's back. He responded by slowly running his sharp nails down Slender's hips. Goosebumps broke out beneath his touch. He could feel Jack's warm breath against his chest as he slowed his breathing.

"...I think they've stopped." Slender said after a few minutes- or maybe it was only moments. He wasn't sure of how long a second was anymore. Not with Jack happily snuggled against him.

"Yeah?" Jack didn't seem to be planning on moving from his position. Slender hesitated, then wrapped his other arm around him.

Housing

Another book finished.

Slender closed what he was reading and sighed- somehow, despite his lack of mouth and nose. He glanced at his...companion. Friend? Roommate? He wasn't sure. From where he sat on his bed, he could only see the back of Laughing Jack's head. The monochrome clown was sitting against the bed, his knees arched up as he used them to write something. Slender craned his neck to see over his shoulder, and realised he wasn't writing. He was drawing. Jack did that often, pulling out pieces of paper and a box of crayons. His drawings weren't great, and childish in nature and style but Slender didn't criticise him. After all, Jack was basically a giant toy. It was fitting he drew like a child would.

Slender looked at the ground next to where Jack sat and looked at the drawings he'd discarded. He picked one up with a tendril and looked at it curiously.

The drawing was of a house, with a long garden and trees. He glanced at the ground again. More houses.

"Was yer book good?" Jack broke the silence. Slender looked over at him.

"Well considering it's the third time I've read it," Slender replied. "I suppose it was."

Jack let out a single "heh." of amusement and set down his next drawing. Slender leaned forward to look at it. This one had stick figures standing next to the house. One labelled "Isaac" and one labelled "me". Slender curiously took in what little details the stick figures had. Isaac had brown spiky hair, and was pretty short. Of course, Slender knew very well who Isaac was. He glanced at Jack.

"Is that where he lived?" Slender asked. Jack shook his head. "Nah. Isaac always said 'e wanted ta live in a big ol' house," the clown chuckled a bit. "Wiv a wife an' all." A grin grew on Jack's face and he looked at Slender. "'E said 'e wanted kids too, ya know tha'?" His glassy eyes seemed to shine with excited joy. "Two li'le lads, an' 'e said I could play wiv em too."

Slender tilted his head. He would've smiled, had he a mouth. "That sounds nice."

Jack nodded and turned back to his next piece of paper. He paused for a moment, then began to draw. Slender stayed quiet, letting him work. Finally, Jack held up his picture. It was of himself, dropping candies over smaller figures, probably children. He held a balloon in his free hand. "Looks nice." Slender complimented. Jack smiled. "Yeh! I's like- part o' th' ol' stree' shows I'd do back in London! I'd throw swee's a' th' kiddos," Jack chuckled. "They'd love i'."

Jack placed aside the drawings and sighed happily. "I miss those days..." He said with a smile. Slender paused for a moment.

"After the war you could become a performer again," Slender suggested. "I'm sure kids would love you."

Jack shrugged. "Eh. I don' fink America'd like me. Think I was up t' somethin'."

"To be fair, you are a living toy." Jack laughed at that. He laughed a lot, which made sense. It was in his name. Still, Slender enjoyed the noise. It made him feel like everything was okay in the world. Which was nice, since they were going through a war right now.

The clown leaned back, resting his head and arms against the side of the bed. He looked up at Slender and smiled softly. "I miss th' kiddos..." He murmured, a little sadly. Slender hesitated, then ruffled the clown's messy hair. He'd found that Jack liked being patted, or just- being touched affectionately. Probably due to being a toy. Jack gave him a toothy grin and closed his eyes happily, pushing his head against Slender's hand slightly. He reminded Slender of a cat, oddly.

"I'm sure this war can't last much longer," Slender said. "The humans have been fighting for what? Three years now? Surely they can't keep going?" Jack shrugged. "I dunno, slen. They're hardy bastards when they feel like i'."

"Mmm." Slender usually scolded the clown for his language, but he was too distracted by how fluffy his hair felt. How Jack kept it like that he'd never know.

"...I wish I could 'ave kids." Jack said randomly after a few moments of silence. Slender's eyes, if he had any, would've shot wide open.

"E-Excuse me?" Slender asked. Jack looked up at him, confused.

"Y'know like- a dustbin lid runnin' round. Maybe two, like Isaac said." Jack smiled to himself. "I'd like tha'."

Slender withdrew his hand, regaining his composure a bit. "Ah." He said. "I suppose that would be nice..." He would've smiled if he had a mouth. "I've- actually always been good with children. I did a lot of work raising Splendor, so I suppose I...picked it up."

Jack was quiet for a few moments. "Would ye want kids?" He asked.

Slender looked down at him for a moment. "...yes. I...I actually like that idea," he glanced down. "I suppose I just- assumed it was out of the question."

Jack grinned and rolled over onto his knees rather than sitting. He grinned up at his faceless friend. "We should 'ave kids!" He chirped.

"E-Excuse me?!" Slender yelped. Jack looked up at his friend, confused. "Ya know like- ah..." The clown furrowed his brows.

"Adoption! Tha'! Tha's a thin', yeah?"

"O-Oh-" Slender relaxed. He thought Jack meant- nevermind. "What do you mean 'we'?" He asked slowly.

"Th' two of us raisin' a kiddo togetha." Jack replied. "Wha'd ye fink I mean'?" He asked with a curious blink. Slender looked away from the clown as his face turned a dark grey colour.

"Nothing." He looked down. "I don't know how we'd be able to do such a thing...I don't even have a home- unless this bunker counts." Slender rested his head in his hand. "And we're not even human, I don't know how we'd be able to adopt a child and give them a good life." He heard Jack moving around, and a weight on the bed next to him. "They'd probably fear me..."

Jack's thin, black fingers curled around Slender's hand. The faceless creature craned his face towards him. "Slen', don' say tha'." He said softly. "I'm sure we'll work somefink ou'- we could ge' a 'ome after this." The clown smiled at him. "doesn' hafta be a big'un like Isaac said."

Slender would've smiled if he had a mouth. "You say that like building houses is easy, Jack." He said, a strange fondness leaking into his voice. "And what about the children?"

"...there migh' be some like us." Jack replied. He looked down at Slender's hand, running his boney thumb over the knuckles. "No' 'uman. Needin' a 'ome." There was a pause. "I've me' a fair share of ghosts in me time..."

Slender stared at his friend for a few moments. It was odd, how Jack, despite being over a century old, could still look like a child sometimes. Slender reached over and patted Jack's head. The clown looked up at him quickly.

"Why don't you tell me about that big house Isaac spoke of?"

Cuddles

"Hssk-"

He jolted up.

"Gfff-"

He hugged himself tight and rocked himself, trying to calm down.

"Hh- hhnk-"

His breathing was ragged and shaky with panic. He could feel a chill running up his spine- if he had one. He was pretty sure he did, beneath the layers of stuffing. His right hand stopped hugging and instead cupped his face. He stared at his knees, at his patchy black slacks as he tried to calm down.

It wasn't real. He knew that. Just a nightmare, like anyone else would get. They were normal. He screwed his eyes shut as his breathing began to slow. He'd learned how to calm himself over the years. His left arm, still at his side, snaked around and rubbed circles into his back as he continued to rock himself.

As he calmed himself down he hummed to himself. The first song that came to his mind was London Bridge Is Falling Down, so he hummed that. Once he was finally calm he looked up slowly, taking in his surroundings. Bleak gray walls, a few posters, shelves and assorted furniture- Slender's bunker. He glanced up at the ceiling for a few moments, wondering if the bomber planes were flying overhead right now. It was funny, that the humans decided they needed to start another giant war only 23 years after the last one.

Because of them he was stuck in this tiny cramped shelter again. It was more spacious and homey than- the box but- he still found it too cramped sometimes.

He looked over at the bed in the corner of the room where Slender lay, sleeping peacefully. He then realized he wasn't in the armchair he'd fallen asleep in. He'd somehow moved over to the opposite side of the floor while sleeping. That sometimes happened, especially when he had bad dreams.

He hesitated, then crawled across the floor to Slender's bed. He sat down quietly beside it, his back to the faceless cryptid. He stared at the wall, listening to his breathing. How long had they known each other? 29 years? Possibly more. He wasn't sure, and math wasn't exactly his strong point.

It was long enough for him to catch feelings, he sure as hell knew that. He wouldn't dare say a word though. He knew Slender needed time to work his feelings out, come to terms with himself. Society didn't exactly like their kind of relationship, not that he could care. They were both creatures made from angels for one, and he was fairly sure they were both immortal, so hell didn't concern him, and humans sure as hell didn't.

"Jack?" His thoughts were interrupted by Slender's voice. He looked over his shoulder at him. "Why are you awake?"

"Why do ye think?" He responded. He looked away again. "I'm 'right, slen- jus' like bein' near ya." There was silence for a few moments, and he heard Slender shifting in the bed. Probably rolling over to sleep.

"Would you like to get in the bed?" Slender asked. He perked up and looked at him curiously. Oh, this was unusual. He had no idea what this could lead to but-

"Sure."

He climbed up into the bed and they stared at each other for a few moments before Slender tentatively reached out and tugged the blanket up. He seemed to hesitate, like he wanted to do more- but neither were willing to push it. He could tell Slender was far out of his comfort zone here, lying in the same bed alone in a bunker underground. Anything that happened here, in this secret spot, was between them and only them.

He hesitated, then scooted forward slowly. Slender made no move to stop him, so he guessed it was okay. He stopped, waiting to see if Slender would make the first move. The faceless cryptid's long, slender arms wrapped around him gently. God it felt nice being hugged- it came naturally to him, being a sentient toy and all. Slender's fingers rubbed circles into his back, a touch so tender it made him melt right into his arms.

He wound his puffy arms around Slender, hugging him back. He gently pressed his face against his chest and stayed still. He didn't dare move, knowing he was on thin ice here. He wouldn't even think about pushing his companion's limits. He'd be slow, if that's what it took him.

He could hear Slender's heart beating loudly. It was an odd sound- his heart beat far, far slower than a person's, and he'd been surprised to find Slender even had one. The noise was usually hard to notice because of its speed, but now it beat just a bit faster than a human's. He closed his eyes and faked a yawn. His way of saying this was as far as he'd go. Slender seemed to relax. He could feel a head resting on his, and the circles being rubbed into his back came slower and slower until the hand went still.

Laughing Jack allowed himself to drift asleep in Slender's bed.

Confessions

Over the years he’d known him, he’d realised he had no one way of being drunk. He could become sad and mournful for people long lost, he could be serious, his accent would thicken to an almost incomprehensible degree, or he’d become bubbly and giggly, affectionate and loud about it.

But right now was the...oddest of his drunk moods. Quiet. It was so unlike him to be quiet and reserved. He was always humming, smiling, joking- doing something that would remind him that he was there. Alive. Breathing. 

Their legs hung off the edge of the dock, the sea breeze chilling their faces and blowing his hair. He sighed. He was tired. Not from the long night, but the effort of keeping up his human form.

‘’I honestly thought I’d like you more when you were quiet.’’ Slender said.

‘’Ye don’ like me when I shu’ me gob?’’

‘’Not particularly.’’ he leaned back, pale blue eyes flicking over to Jack. ‘’Maybe I’ve become too accustomed to always hearing you make noise.’’ 

‘’Heh.’’ 

They fell silent again. It felt odd. Being outside. At night. They didn’t need to worry about air raids or a war going on around the entire globe. Because it had ended. Everyone had celebrated, and they were getting back on their feet. Hell, the two of them were planning to build a home for themselves. They would live together.

‘’Wha’s goin’ on in tha’ loaf ‘f bread, Slen?’’ Jack asked. Slender looked over at him, taking a moment to realise what he was asking.

‘’Oh...I was thinking about how odd it feels being outside now that the war is over.’’ He looked down at the water below them. ‘’Not that I’m complaining. I know you hated the bunker. And it means I can see my brothers more often,’’ a soft smile crossed his face. ‘’And we can have nights like these, together.’’ he turned to Jack again, smiling.

‘’Heh.’’ Jack said again. ‘’...Yeh, I enjoy our li’le da’es togeth’r too, china pla’e.’’ 

Slender blinked. ‘’Dates?’’

‘’Tha’s wha’ I call ‘em.’’ Jack murmured back as he pulled a box of cigarettes and a lighter from his sleeve. Slender watched him light one up and begin smoking. Slender only stared at him, Jack’s pale blue, almost white, eyes flicked over to him. ‘’Somefin’ wrong, china pla’e?’’

‘’Jack…’’ he gulped and looked away. ‘’I-’’ he pursed his lips then sighed. ‘’Nevermind.’’ 

‘’Slen.’’ Jack scooted closer to him. ‘’..I know. I’s awrigh’.’’

Slender looked at him for a few silent moments then away again. ‘’...I…’’ he took a deep breath. ‘’I have feelings for you, Jack. And I accept if you fear that these relationships will negatively impact our relationship.’’ 

‘’Slen.’’ Jack sounded annoyed now. ‘’I’ve kissed ye. A fair few times. No’ ta mention we’ve shared a bluddy bed an’ I’ve told ye I luv ye.’’

Slender tensed. ‘’I know.’’ He mumbled.

‘’An’ fock, I’ve known ye fer- god i’s been donkey’s ears, ain’ i’?’’

‘’Thirty three years.’’ Slender said.

‘’Exac’ly!’’ Jack raised his arms as he spoke with such force his body almost fell back for a second. Slender managed to steady him. ‘’An’ ye fink I’m gonna turn roun’ ta ya an’ say tha’ I don’ fink of ye as all me trouble an’ strife?!’’

‘’...I’m a man.’’

Jack blinked and looked at him. ‘’So I can’ call ye tha’?’’

Slender pondered it for a moment then shook his head. ‘’No, go ahead. I don’t mind.’’

‘’Awrigh’ well-’’ Jack blinked a couple times, like he was trying to bring himself out of his drunken haze. ‘’I luv ye too Slen. An’ I’ve made i’ very clear tha’ I luv ya.’’ He looked down at Slender, a serious look on his face. ‘’I’ve been wai’in fer ya ta tell me tha’ ye luv me too. Y’know tha’ righ’?’’

‘’...I know…’’ Slender looked away. ‘’I’m sorry it’s taken so long, Jack. I just- wasn’t ready I suppose.’’ he fiddled with his hands. ‘’I never really thought of myself as capable of falling in love I mean- I’m old, and humans have such short lifespans so I didn’t try to get attached to any but then you came along and of course you’re-’’

His rambling was cut off by Jack’s large hand covering his mouth. ‘’Slen, shu’ up wiv tha’.’’ he grunted. ‘’If all ye fink abou’ is ou’livin’ ‘umans ye’ll neve’ make any ma’es, will ye?’’

Slender looked up at him and softened. He sighed and pulled Jack’s arm away. It instead wrapped around him. ‘’No...I suppose not…’’ Slender glanced aside. ‘’Still I...I’m sorry I took so long to say I love you.’’

‘’I’s awrigh’ Slen.’’ Jack softened and smiled down at him. It was unlike his usual smiles. It was genuine, loving, caring. The look made Slender feel...safe. ‘’No’ like I’m ge’in older er anyfin’.’’

Slender chuckled. ‘’No, neither of us really are, are we?’’

Jack laughed next to him and leaned down, planting a kiss on the top of his head. ‘’I luv ye. Ye ol’ bastard.’’

‘’Rude.’’ 

Zalgo is a BITCH ASS MOTHERFUCKER

"So 'ow is 'e?" Laughing Jack asked as he looked over at Slender. 

Slender sighed. "Still mad at me." He said, sadness leaking into his voice. He closed the door to the sunroom and leaned sideways against the wall. He watched the monochrome clown flick his lighter on and light the cigarette clenched between his teeth. 

"E'll come aroun'." He replied. He took a puff of the cigarette and breathed out, blowing hoops with the smoke like it was the easiest thing in the world. Slender, if he had a mouth, would've smiled. The smell of smoke reminded him of times long gone.

"I know...it's just-" Slender fiddled with his tie. "I give him all the attention he could want, support, I teach him that it's okay to be himself and tell me when something is wrong but...then he runs off without a word and-" he paused for a moment. "I don't know what I'm doing wrong…"

"Ye're no' doin' a fing wrong, Slen. I's no' yer faul' tha' 'e's no' be'er ye'." Jack looked at him. Despite how carefree and jokey he was all the time...these moments, when Slender showed the smallest signs of anxiety and doubt, his gaze became stern, his voice firm and wise. "Jeff- well I don' know 'is whole tale bu' I can only assume i's seven kindsa focked. Ye cant fix a broken down jam jar wiv jus' new par's, ye go'a take th' ol' ones ou' firs'." 

"...Your analogies are as creative as ever." Slender replied. Jack gave him an agitated look.

"Shuddup, I'm knackered. Spent all day wiv th' li'le missus." He nodded at the wooden pirate ship across the yard from them. Something Jack had built with a bit of help from Slender's brothers. It was big, big enough for him and Sally to run around on while they travelled the high seas together. There was even a slide.

Slender laughed a bit. He sighed, looking up at the sky. It was quiet for a few moments before something nudged him. He looked down to see LJ's arm stretched out, holding the box of cigarettes in offering. Slender didn't smoke, at all. He hadn't when it was fashionable, and he especially didn't now that he knew about the health risks. Even though they probably wouldn't affect him, he wasn't willing to try. 

"No thank you."

The hand retracted and the cigarettes were put into the pocket of LJ's trousers. It was quiet again for a little bit. "Jack?"

"Mmm?"

"How do you always know what to say?" Slender asked. LJ took a long drag of his cigarette. 

"'Ow do you always see th' bes' in every'un?" He retorted. Slender looked at him, surprised. "In Jeff, in Toby, in me." Jack stared at him. "Ye never give up on 'em. Every'un is capable 'f bein' a good person ta ye. Why?"

Slender looked down. "...I just don't believe anyone is truly evil. The worst of the worst can redeem themselves. Toby has, you have- I mean- you do nothing but make children happy, both here and among the world...and- I believe Jeff can too."

A small smile spread up Jack's face. "Even tha' gobshite Zalgo?"

"...don't say the bastard's name here." Slender replied with a smile in his voice. Jack threw his head back and cackled.

Slender you dumb bitch look after yourself

"Jack? What are you doing up?"

Jack looked over his shoulder, black hair blowing softly in the wind. "Ye mean up 'ere or why am I awake?" 

Slender sighed and walked down the roof using his tendrils to keep himself from falling. He sat down next to the black and white clown. The moonlight glinted off his pale white skin. "Why are you awake?"

Jack shrugged. "Couldn' sleep." He replied. "Why're ye up, Slen? Ye need res'." 

"I'm fine."

"Well I know ye're no'. Ye're g'nna be up a' seven or eigh' makin' breakfas' fer every'n an' then ye're g'nna clean th' entire bluddy gaf, then make lunch fer every'n." Jack looked at him. "Ye work too 'ard."

The faceless man looked away from him and instead out at the forest past their backyard. "I'm fine, honestly. I do that every day, I can handle it."

"Tha's me feckin' point! Ye work yerself ta th' bone every day an' act like ye're no' bluddy knackered!" Despite his yelling, Jack didn't sound angry. More frustrated and worried. 

Slender rested a hand on Jack's shoulder, squeezing it softly. "You don't need to worry about me." He said softly.

"If I don' then who will?" Jack asked softly. "Ye work so 'ard fer us all an' never complain...we all owe ye so much ye' ye never ask fer anyfin'." He looked up at Slender. He looked- sad. And worried. "I don' want ye ta 'ide yer problems fer our sake. Th' kiddos- they care abou' ye. A lo'."

Slender was silent for a few moments. His hand moved off of Jack's shoulder, and for a moment the clown was worried he'd stepped too far but- instead the hand curled around his own bony, bandaged hand. 

"I know my limits Jack, don't worry." Slender shifted closer to him and looked down, faded blue eyes meeting a featureless face. "I don't mind working hard for all of you. You all make it worth it. I appreciate your concern, but you don't have to worry so much."

Jack was silent for a moment. "Ye know I worry abou' ye because I love ye, yeh?" 

Slender blushed, his cheeks turning a dark grey colour. "I know." He responded softly. Jack moved closer and hugged Slender semi-tightly.

"Then le' me a' leas' look after ye while ye look after th' bin lids, yeh?" His voice was soft and loving. Slender couldn't possibly bring himself to say no to Jack- not when he was curled up against him like this.

"..Alright." He combed his hand through the clown's hair. "...Thank you…"

"I's nofink." Jack replied tiredly. Slender held him close, petting his hair lovingly until he dozed off.

Jeff you bitch ass motherfucker

It's so quiet out here by the lake. It's miraculous- the fact that there's a house available to rent just between the sea cliffs, right where nobody can find us, save for people on boats, but we're down away from the mountains and far from any other buildings, so there's no reason to come over here.

Secluded and alone. Perfect for our...odd, little family. 

Our children are swimming in the waters in front of us. Sally is swimming after Cody, they're probably talking, while Dina paddles after the two of them. She's gotten rather good at swimming, I've hardly had a chance to teach her thanks to those two. EJ is on a float- oh nevermind Jeff just flipped it over. Even from here on a rock on the shore I can hear him laughing. I watch Jeff swim away to go terrorise Michael, who's just floating peacefully on his back. 

We're not the only ones on the shore however. Just below the rock we're on is Ben, headphones on, playing a game. He's scared of water, so he prefers to stay on the land with his games. There's also Helen, sitting a little bit away, painting the sunset. Smile, the family dog, is fast asleep on the sand, lying on his back with his four legs in the air.

And Jack, my- my husband...is lying against me. He isn't one for water either, so he's perfectly happy to lie curled up next to me. I don't mind. He's soft to touch, and I love him. Obviously.

I hear him chuckle a bit. "I fink Jeff go' Mike's glasses." He says softly. I smile a bit. Well- smile as much as I can without an actual face. 

"It's because he knows we're not able to go into the water to tell him off." I say. Jack laughs. His voice is soft and raspy but I love it. I watch Jeff throw the glasses. They hit Dina and sink into the water. She whirls around and paddles after Jeff, who swims off quickly. Luckily Sally is quick to dive down and retrieve them for poor Michael. "He's pushing his luck." I add. 

"I'll bury 'im in th' sand while 'e's sleepin'. Tha'll teach 'im." Jack responds. I chuckle. "I can ge' Mike ta 'elp. Junior too."

I lean down and press my face against the top of his head. I can't kiss him but he understands the gesture just fine. "I'll pretend I didn't hear you planning this." I say. Jack grins up at me, then grabs my face and leans up, his neck stretching as he plants a kiss on my cheek. 

"Yeh, okay." He says softly. My hand combs through his thick black hair. It's silky and soft. I feel a couple of braids in among the locks. Probably Sally's doing. He rests his head against my shoulder and sighs happily. "I luv ya, china pla'e."

"I love you too, Jack."

[loki-hargreeves]

Loki x Reader - You’re a Monster! [PART 2]

Author’s Note: This was supposed to be a one-shot but it turned into a series. Woops! Also, I’m sorry if there are typos! Warnings: vulgar language, mentions of death, angst, mentions of sex Word Count: 3,1K Summary: Loki broke his heart to save you from himself after he was prisoned for life. You believe he never loved you and he believes you’ve moved on. Five years later, you meet at Sakaar again and his fate is in your hands. Somehow, you’re supposed to work together in order to save Asgard, which is easier said than done. You left things messy and you know exactly how to push each other’s buttons.

[PART 1] 

Third POV

It was the second time within a few years that the Asgardians thought Loki, the often forgotten about son of Odin, God of Mischief, was believed to be dead. The truth was, he was posing as Odin. Frankly, Odin had been a mess after Frigga’s passing and Thor was out of the picture. Loki saw that as his chance to rule Asgard, make the people thrive for once. But he also used the position for good, diving deep into things Odin or Thor never could.

Little did anyone know he had a plan. During his time as Asgard’s king, Loki attempted to find out as much as possible about Thanos and his evil plans. He knew the location of three infinity stones, and he wanted to keep them away from the mad titan. Now that Loki was ‘dead’, he could live a little easier. No one was after him. There was only one thing that bothered him, tearing his mind to shreds. And no, it wasn’t the prophecy of Ragnarok he had been hearing about, had nightmares about too.

It was Y/N.

Just the memory of her made his heart ache. No matter how many times he told himself he did the right thing, he knew he was lying to himself. He had somehow hoped that he could see her again. Maybe not as himself but just to spot her. He wanted to see the woman, know that she was well, at least healthy. But that didn’t happen. Months passed and no one had seen her after their breakup. Loki had found out that Y/N had left her engagement ring in their old chambers. She had taken a bag worth of personal belongings, attended Frigga’s funeral, stolen weapons and then disappeared. He never found the book she had made for him. She was gone and it broke Loki’s heart because he knew it was his fault.

Posing as Odin, Loki had tried to question Heimdall about her whereabouts but of course he saw threw the magic. Tragic, really. Loki understood that Heimdall was a threat to his plans – but he was also wise, so after some very messy mutual disagreement and mild agreement, Heimdall ‘disappeared’.

It was just Loki alone for the next few years, wondering if Y/N was even alive. Deep in his heart, he could almost feel that hers was beating somewhere out there.

                     Unbeknownst to anyone, Y/N was putting her nose deep in the same waters as Loki. She hadn’t believed that Loki never loved her. No, it just didn’t make sense in her head, so she had decided to search for answers. After thinking about old conversations with Loki, reading books, contacting creatures from beyond the nine realms, she got on the right path. She learned about Thanos and the so-called infinity stones. Even Thor knew about them, which was great. Somehow, she managed to make Thor keep it a secret that she was travelling with him.

A few years passed and Thor left, following a hunch that had something to do with Sultur. Y/N didn’t go, because she had more important things to do. Besides, she knew Thor would be returning to Asgard and she had sworn not to return ever again. It hurt too much.

Once she was alone, flying through space in a ship she ‘borrowed’, she found herself thinking about Loki. That asshole, she thought but couldn’t find the truth behind those words. After everything she had learned, she was sure he had loved her to some extent. It didn’t mean that what had happened before he died didn’t put her in agony. Their last conversation broke her heart and it would haunt her forever. Thanks to the massive pain that had followed and the torturous truth of what had happened to Loki before, Y/N put up a hard and cold exterior. She had changed, to say at least.

Shamelessly, Y/N had gone as far as sleeping with strangers to lure secrets out of their lips. Some dumb Kree had told Y/N about the elders of the universe, a tale as old as time. Apparently, they were the original bearers of the stones and one of them, the Grandmaster, just happened to have an address, a dumpster realm known as Sakaar. That’s where Y/N went, not really knowing what to expect -except answers.

She landed in the middle of trash, literally, and some funky looking creatures tried to capture her. Y/N had killed them all before they could really bat an eye. She left behind a pile of their bodies but before she could leave, someone else wanted to have a word with her. Y/N had watched as a beautiful woman walked out of her ship with a bottle in her hands. Beautiful leather outfit, black hair which Y/N liked. She was hot, but Y/N knew she could be dangerous.

“You’re coming with me, ‘right?” The woman asked but it sounded like she also answered for her.

Y/N already thought of some magic tricks that were nifty for self-defence, just in case it got to that point. “Are you trying to eat me as well?” Y/N wondered, glancing at the scavengers she had killed. The woman looked at the pile and raised her eyebrows.

“I’m impressed, but no, I won’t eat you. I’m looking for…a fighter, you seem eligible.”

Y/N was honoured but it didn’t mean she’d volunteer as a puppet for whatever fight they needed a fighter for. “Can I thank you no? I’m here to meet someone called the Grandmaster.”

“Ah! I could take you to him.” The woman suggested almost casually.

“Really?”

“Really.”

Y/N still didn’t trust her. So, she walked closer to her, noticing the white paint on her skin, creating a beautiful contrast. “You lead the way; I can follow you with my ship.”

Before Y/N could hardly finish her sentence, she noticed that the woman grabbed something small, probably a weapon. Y/N was quick to grab her dagger and point it at the woman. “Look, you’re pretty and I don’t want to fight-“

“You think I’m pretty?” She smirked, almost cockily, although Y/N had a dagger pointed at her. “Isn’t that sweet of you!”. Although Y/N felt like she should be annoyed, she found herself liking this woman. There was something about her.

“Lead the way, okay? I’m busy and I don’t want to play your stupid game.”

The woman rolled her eyes and put the little weapon back into her purse. “Fine. If you wish to go to him voluntarily, I won’t stop you. Let’s go!”

And just like that, Y/N was led to the Grandmaster by the woman who she learned went by the name Scrapper 142. Y/N decided that she liked her, although she was probably dangerous and plotting a trap for her. Good luck, Y/N thought, she had been with Loki long enough to avoid basic traps. The effort was cute. But then the memory of the Trickster god stabbed her heart and she remembered what she was here for, the infinity stones.

“Oh, you found a pretty one! You never cease to impress me!” The old man smiled happily once he laid his dark eyes on Y/N. He had a blue stripe on his lip and a very sparkly, golden robe. He definitely stood out, even on this planet where no one seemed to know of dark clothes.

Y/N ignored his low-key compliment and she tried to get straight to the point. “Are you the Grandmaster I’ve heard so much about?” Y/N put on a fake but very sweet smile, attempting to flatter the man who seemed to enjoy it. She learned quickly that this Grandmaster was like a powerful dog that had to be fed with compliments – that way they could become friends. Manipulating him shouldn’t be too hard, right?

Well she was both right and wrong. She didn’t end up being a fighter, instead, she got into his inner circle with her charming act and she picked up clues piece by piece. Y/N had to admit the parties could get extreme and waking up in stranger’s beds wasn’t ideal, but she genuinely had fun for once. Perhaps blowing off some steam by partying and mingling couldn’t hurt too much. After all, Y/N had spent the last five years in her shell, surrounded by hate, anger and misery.

Weeks passed by quickly, very quickly on Scrapper 142’s couch. Her actual name was Brunnhilde, she was a Valkyrie. Y/N and Brunnhilde were wasted one night and Y/N saw her tattoo. Sure, there wasn’t much they could hide when they were both naked. Against all odds, they became friends and it was very beneficial to Y/N who never forgot about her plan.

All was well until someone else from Asgard ended up on Sakaar.

Y/N had picked up Brunnhilde’s ways of Scrapping to earn some credits while staying on Sakaar. It was a usual day when she saw something entering Sakaar’s atmosphere and fast. It’s like a bolt of green lightning struck the trash land. Y/N had to check it out.

Her ship landed on the ground only minutes after she saw the green object, or person, she had no idea. No one else had arrived yet which was perfect, she could take her time. Y/N grabbed a weapon that shot out obedience disks. She only needed that and her magic as she walked outside. As usual, there was a horrible stank outside. Space junk and bodies were rotting all around them. Y/N saw a body on the ground, back faced towards her. Once she saw long, black locks and an emerald green cape, she almost turned away and left. That’s when she took a deep breath and reminded herself that Loki was dead. It couldn’t possibly be him, right?

But the closer she got, the more she saw. And sure as hell, it was him. She could recognize his face from thousands of miles away. Seeing him on the ground, completely helpless, covered in small cuts and fresh bruises was almost too much for her. For a moment, she could only stare at him in utter disbelief and shock. The heartache from half a decade ago was returning and it hurt just as much, but she’d be damned to show it.

Whatever the story was behind it, she had to know. But he was unconscious and other Scrappers would love to find him. Biting her teeth together and swallowing her tears, she dragged his weak body into her ship. His scent emerged into her nostrils and reminded her of so many shared nights.

“Get yourself together!” Y/N growled at herself and dumped Loki’s body on the floor of the ship. Perhaps it was a bit harsh, but she didn’t want to hold onto him longer than needed. She didn’t want to soften up for him after what he did.

She locked the entrance to the ship and sat down, resting her head against her hands as she attempted to think. She had no idea how he was alive, what she would do to him or if he was going to hurt her even more. After pondering for a while and feeling how her shock just increased, she had to get answers. Y/N stood up and walked to Loki who was still on the ground. He looked terrified even though he was passed out. It’s like shock was imprinted on his resting face. Y/N wondered what he saw before ending up on Sakaar. Could it be Thanos?

Y/N groaned and pushed those thoughts away. The only right answers would come from him. So, Y/N gently shook him by his shoulder with her foot until he opened his eyes. Loki looked right at her and it was dead quiet around them for a moment. Y/N’s heart yearned for him, she wanted to wrap him into her arms, but she refused to do that. Instead, she put on a stern mask and grabbed the weapon, having no intentions to use it though. She wanted him to know that she was not the woman she used to be.

“Am I dead?”

“Newsflash, Loki! You’re not, but you sure let everyone think so.”

Loki sat up, never taking his eyes off Y/N. He seemed dazed. Flashes of what had happened only a few minutes earlier were fresh on his mind. He remembered Odin’s death, Thor’s rage, Hela. But once he saw her after believing he never would see her again; his mouth went dry. She stood there, looking at him with anger burning in her E/C eyes. Loki could hardly believe his eyes. He didn’t even know what to do. Now, several years later, there was no use in pretending to be the monster he made out of himself, but he didn’t know if he could let go of his regret and beg for forgiveness. Could he put her through that?

He looked away from her judging gaze and he saw the small, odd weapon that was in her hand. It felt like a punch in his gut, she was furious! He had to be careful but at the same time, he almost wanted her to be mad at him.

It became obvious that Loki wasn’t going to break the silence and Y/N was impatient.

“How are you alive?”

Loki remembered the exact moment he almost died. No one would ever know but he actually sacrificed himself to Thor. He could’ve died when Thor left his body on Svartalfheim but something miraculous kept him alive. What it was, Loki wasn’t sure, but he told himself it was his mother from Valhalla. How could he possibly explain the past five years to her? From the moment he broke her heart by telling her that everything they had together, all the good and the bad, were lies. He told her she was amusement for him. Now he felt rotten just thinking back.

“Answer me!” Y/N demanded harshly, taking a step closer to Loki. She put the little disk shooter underneath Loki’s jaw so she could tilt his head up, forcing him to look at her. It was astonishing how he hadn’t gotten up yet to mock her and drag her down. Something terrible must’ve happened before he arrived.

It didn’t matter. She wasn’t going to let herself care about that. What they had in the past should remain there.

Loki didn’t flinch when Y/N put the cold metal object against his neck. He didn’t know what it did, and he didn’t want to find it. Although he knew she probably hated his gut, he doubted she’d hurt him. “It’s a long story, Y/N.”

His voice made Y/N’s stomach twist. She hated herself for missing it. She hated that his voice still affected her but the was proud she had learnt to hide her feelings. To him, he looked like a whole new person. Loki looked her up and down and noticed how different she was, even her attire had changed. Y/N was wearing a skin-tight, white bodysuit that hugged her curves just right, long red boots and a dark red cape, much less elegant than Asgardian capes. It was short and rigged. Y/N’s arms were bare, and she wore golden jewellery that spiralled from her wrist all the way to her upper arm. He even saw scars that weren’t there before. They weren’t neat so he figured they came from battles. She had changed.

The biggest difference was her cold and harsh exterior. He looked at her and her face didn’t soften up like before. He knew that he had burnt her innocence and sweetness to ashes. It hurt, more than he wanted to admit.

“You’re not in a hurry, are you? Start talking.” Y/N was getting angry again. The silence was messing with her head. If he didn’t care, why couldn’t he speak? It bothered her that Loki looked at her so carefully. She felt vulnerable.

Loki looked at her neck. He knew they weren’t together anymore but nevertheless, seeing a dark purple, almost red hickey decorating her skin hurt. Seeing that someone else had gotten the pleasure of touching her was like a stab to the heart. She had moved on, hadn’t she? Loki’s throat felt tight. So much was going on and it was too much – even for him. Asgard was in danger but here he was, in Y/N’s ship, his fate in her hands. “Where shall I begin?” He put on a fake smile, putting up the act from five years ago. He was not going to hurt her any further by explaining how he lied. She had gone through enough because of him. Lying furthermore should be smooth, he was the god of lies after all.

“How about you explain how you’re alive and where you’ve been. Maybe, just maybe I won’t throw you in the lion’s den.” By that, Y/N meant the arena. She knew damn well the Grandmaster would pay her a huge sum for Loki, but she also knew Loki could have answers that she desperately needed. “You’re so great with words, aren’t you? You better use them.”

“Someone still cares,” Loki taunted her, putting his best effort into acting like the fool he was before. He was aware it was terrible, but he had no choice. He decided to push her buttons a little bit more, just to study her reaction. “I see you took some Asgardian goods with you.”

“You know I could electrocute you, right?” Y/N pressed the lips of the disc shooter against his neck, only to threaten him of course. Sure, he probably deserved it, but she didn’t actually want to hurt him. Only a few years ago she was the one who stitched up his wounds and washed off his blood. “Besides, Thor gave them to me. Turns out being in good terms with him is quite handy,” Y/N pushed Loki’s buttons as well, knowing damn well how Loki hated that.

Loki pulled his lips into a thin line. The hickey was almost right in front of his eyes now and he believed Y/N did it on purpose, to shove it in his face that she didn’t care at all. Did Thor make it? Loki wished it was anyone else but his brother. Was she over him? Loki believed it – at least to some extent. How could she still care, after everything he put her through? He didn’t just break her heart, he absolutely destroyed it!

But she would never know he did it for her. She was better off without him. Loki told that to himself to make himself feel better. He had to get away from her and fast but it wouldn’t be easy.

“I’ve been on Asgard. Thor broke me out of my cell, begging for my help. It was a perfect opportunity for me to slither out of that little cell. Then I had to get Odin out of the picture…”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Y/N almost yelled. Sure, Odin was a terrible person but she couldn’t imagine Loki killing him. He hadn’t gone that far, right?

Loki rolled his eyes. “I sent him away. He was on Midgard until Thor and I returned to him. He told us about our sister, Hela, who is currently set to destroy Asgard. Then he died-“

“Slow down!” Y/N stopped him. She put the disc shooter away and took a deep breath. She attempted to forget about her personal issues with Loki and tried to focus on Asgard. Were the people in danger? Who was this Hela? Their sister? She had never even heard of her. ”Odin’s dead?”

“I told you, it’s a long story, Y/N.”

[PART 3]

Author’s Note: I feel like this chapter is just building the plot but the next part will be a bit more fun (I hope). What are your thoughts? :) It’s kind of funny how this turned into a series.

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[neshabeingchildish]

Hensley & Char: Friends or Whatever || Part 3

@just-a-j-reallly @junknstu1f @henryharts I absolutely pushed this bad boy out in a couple of hours, since I’m trying to hold myself to a somewhat organized schedule, with going back to a second job on mornings that I don’t have to work nights. If there are typos and such, please just remember that this is free and that I am busy. Lol. I promise, whenever I’m not pressed for time and energy, I do everything to give y’all my best, but when I am those things, my best has to dwindle a little, in terms of editing, hopefully not content. I’ve been missing Chasper, so this chapter is kind of Chasper heavy, from Hensley’s view of them, and also I wanted to get into the universe that we’re more familiar with, so while I didn’t feel like certain things needed to change - like meeting Ray and getting the job, I wanted to just sort of do the ff thing we do and look at other areas of the world while all of that was happening.

The Danger Befriends

“We’re almost 12. Her issues might strictly be hormones, and maybe that means that she’ll be less mean soon,” Jasper said.

“Shut up about hormones!” Charlotte snapped at him. “You ALWAYS blame women being rightfully angry with you on hormones! It’s NOT hormones, Jasper. It’s YOU. YOU are the reason we’re mad!”

Hensley didn’t want to get in the middle, but these were both her beast friends and she knew that this was all just a misunderstanding. Jasper wasn’t inconsiderate or stupid… Just very, very gullible. This was dirt from Jupiter all over again. “Jasper,” Hensley said, as gently as she could, “I think what Charlotte means is that instead of telling us the reason why you’re holding a filthy cat instead of our carnival tickets, you’re focused on her reaction to the fact that you handed a stranger the money for the tickets and they gave you a disgusting animal.”

“She’s not disgusting. She just needs a bath…” Jasper said, but before he could complete the thought Charlotte lunged towards him and Hensley had to collect her in a restraining hold to keep her from getting her hands on Jasper. Jasper’s eyes widened and Hensley cooed in Charlotte’s ear to try to calm her. 

“It’s okay, Char. It’s Okay. I carried a little extra money and I’LL get your ticket. Okay?It’s all good. It’s ALL good.” Charlotte struggled Hensley’s hold off of her and glared at Jasper, shaking her head, before she marched off and went to stand in line, herself. 

Jasper shook his head, “I think that a good counselor and perhaps even medication will help her with that.” Hensley just sighed. He had a point,  but he also missed the point. But, moments later, a guy in a trench coat really did come back with their tickets and three drinks, because they were waiting out in the sun with his cat. 

Hensley pulled Charlotte from the line, explained that this time, Jasper hadn’t screwed up and Charlotte said, “Well, it still was careless and under normal circumstances would have been a scheme.” Then, they got on rides and all was forgotten for a while. 

The moments where the three of them had fun and enjoyed each other’s company were Hensley’s favorite. She frequently felt like she had to pick sides because they argued so much. Jasper loved Charlotte. He had always liked her as a person and spending the past couple of years around her only accelerated that for him. The three were together everyday and always made plans as a team. No one would be left behind, because to Hensley, that would feel like choosing between them. And she really couldn’t.

Jasper was her yes man. Charlotte was her voice of reason. Those were things that she needed to always receive both of in order to make good decisions. She did not always make them, but she couldn’t comprehend what life would be without the two varying options. They were like the little angel and devil on her shoulders, except Jasper was the clueless angel and Charlotte the all knowing devil. You’re SUPPOSED to listen to the angel, but this particular angel was only right every now and then. The devil was always right, but she was an angry little person and threatening… That made her truth seem like it wasn’t so. Yet, she was usually right, and Hensley only SOMETIMES listened to her.

But, in those moments whenever Jasper couldn’t be around - they flowed better. And in the moments that Charlotte didn’t show her face, Hensley and Jasper made more sense. It was… confounding to Hensley. She NEEDED both of them, but it was so much easier to deal with them separately, usually. She wondered if they were like that too. Did Jasper and Charlotte have a harmonious dynamic whenever Hensley wasn’t there to demand both of their attention? She wondered what that was like. 

She imagined that Jasper was sweet and that in spite of herself, she would soften for him and smile a lot, maybe even giggle… She… kinda felt a little bit jealous about it. WHAT did Charlotte and Jasper do whenever SHE wasn’t there? Sometimes, if they studied together, or Charlotte’s mom gave him a ride home or something, even at times, he stayed the night over there??? WHAT? They could barely get along, WHY would he be able to sleep in the same room as her? AND… He was a boy!

Hensley watched Charlotte reading and Jasper leaning up against her, getting ready to fall to sleep. She made a frowning face at him and he quickly shuffled away and made a makeshift, non-Charlotte pillow of his over shirt and backpack. But, when he drifted off, Hensley noted that Charlotte sighed, grabbed a bandanna out of her bag, wiped his sweat off and tucked the bandanna in his pocket. Why had she done that? Did she LIKE him? Why was Hensley so preoccupied with these details?

Charlotte stared at her and looked confused for a moment, then figured it was because of what just happened. She explained, “Jasper’s medication for his sweating problem has changed. The new one makes him a little more tired. I don’t want him sweating all over me or my carpet.” Rational. Reasonable. Nothing to be concerned about, and even if it WAS… She wouldn’t be concerned, because she and Charlotte were just friends anyway. Just like Charlotte and Jasper were. But then, “He looks different when he sleeps. When he’s shut down and silent - he’s actually cute, right?” Charlotte asked. 

Of course, she meant like a roly poly rodent, but Hensley just heard cute and while she agreed, denied it. “Jasper? Cute?” She laughed. “Why don’t you just kiss him?” 

“I would get sweat on my lips,” she said, cringing, “Jasper sweat. I don’t even want my own sweat on my lips…” She looked at Hensley like she was extremely gross for even attempting such a joke, and Hensley relaxed and didn’t think about it again. 

There was no way that Charlotte liked Jasper. He wasn’t gross, but Charlotte found a lot of his habits to be. Plus, he irritated her very easily and even though she was nice to him sometimes, there was just this… Hensley couldn’t find the right word to describe a disconnect, so she thought of it as a no-no region… Though that sounded like their private parts, so she just simply stopped trying to find words and counted it as “would never happen.” Yet, she spent about a year convincing herself that Jasper and Charlotte were just friends and woul;d always just be friends. 

It was hard though. That Charlotte had two best friends of different genders who both liked girls and she seemed to like both of them sometimes and like neither of them sometimes. All of Hensley’s life, there were people who would say things like she and Jasper would wind up dating someday or that they were probably soul mates/would get married, etc. They made it out to be like boys and girls couldn’t have friendships that were just that and it never moved her before because she knew that Jasper was not her type. She and Jasper had the SAME type, for as long as she could remember thinking about it. But, now… That could/might include Charlotte. 

Charlotte wasn’t really the kind of girl that Hensley tended to be attracted to, but by 13, she definitely had become aware that it was probably because she didn’t see other girls that were like Charlotte, and that she hadn’t for as long as she had been in school, and not because Charlotte wasn’t totally pretty. She absolutely was. But, the more time went by, the more she realized that despite that Jasper had always noticed Charlotte. He knew her name. He knew about her plans and her life. He treated her like  a person who he cared about… and he did this before she became Hensley’s best friend. It wasn’t a competition, but Hensley had a problem not competing. 

.

The feelings were exacerbated whenever Hensley happened upon a part time job… No, Charlotte found her a part time job. Hensley was now, not only a productive member of society, but the actual sidekick to Swellview’s superhero, Captain Man, and that required secrecy and discretion. That required leaving Jasper and Charlotte alone and going to work to keep the city safe, to keep them safe… and she made an oath never to tell them.

“Why aren’t we allowed to stop by your job?” Charlotte asked, while Jasper drank from his bucket thermos as they walked from school. “We aren’t going to ruin anything, and we just wanted to be able to look around and possibly even make a purchase and contribute to your paycheck. You barely let us in the door…” 

Hensley nervously laughed and shook her head, “I… don’t need your money for my paycheck. You two don’t even have jobs..”

“Yeah, upon further research, I found out nobody really hires 13 year olds for anything…” Charlotte started.

Jasper quickly spouted out, “Oh, it’s illegal. It’s one of Swellview’s many stupid laws.”

“It’s not just a Swellview law, though. It’s most places. My research concluded that the jobs available for kids under 16 are generally permissions for entrepreneurial ventures, Internet personalities, highly regulated child celebrity gigs, and family businesses where they aren’t actually on payroll. I wonder why the junk store doesn’t have to follow those regulations…” Charlotte said, suspiciously. The last thing that Hensley needed was Charlotte being suspicious.

Jasper offered, “It may be a historic building, in which case, in Swellview, they are allowed to hire as early as 13, but only in a part time capacity, and if the training for said job is at least one year.”

“That’s gotta be it! Ray’s father bought the place when he was a kid,” Hensley said, unsure of what even constitutes as a historical building, but hoping that Charlotte wouldn’t investigate it. She wasn’t even paying attention to her, though.

Charlotte smiled at Jasper, “You really know Swellview laws.”

“One of Dad’s main rules is if he ever has to get a call that I’ve been arrested, it better be a misunderstanding,” Jasper said with a shrug.

“You almost always get in trouble at every bit of fault of your own,” Charlotte told him.

“Yes, but not illegally.” 

Hensley was happy to have the conversation off of her work. 

Jasper’s dad was a defense attorney, so Jasper knew a lot about laws and ordinances and stuff. Maybe that was why he was so good in social studies and language arts. He knew laws, history, and wordplay. Charlotte was good with sciences and math. Between the both of them, Hensley was able to keep her head above water in school. She would need them now more than ever, because her job as Kid Danger was taking everything out of her and she hadn’t even been doing it for very long. But, whenever she looked at her two friends, who bickered like an old married couple, but also loved on each other, she knew that this job wasn’t just about the money or even the newfound high of fame. It was about what was best for Swellview. For Hensley Hart, Swellview was her two best friends…

“So… Can we stop in sometime, though?” Charlotte asked, not being deterred.

“Oh, my boss Ray is kind of a stickler about it…” Hensley said.

“Probably doesn’t want something to happen where he has a liability,” Jasper said. 

Charlotte looked disappointed as she shrugged her shoulders and tugged Jasper’s sleeve, “Well, I guess that means we’ll see you tomorrow. Jasper gave Hensley a hug and the two walked beyond the store, debating whether they were going to get snacks before heading to Charlotte’s, or trust that her mom had something other than organic/vegan/no added sugars or flavors stuff that Jasper always felt like was a crime against taste buds…

Hensley went into the store. Just another day of Danger, for her. And her friends would be alright.

[rueur]

Morning Pages No. 61

Monday 24th August - 1:04pm

I know that it’s a bit late in the day to start this entry, but I needed another bit of a morning off. Evan and I had an early night last night but we had sex first. We were both so tired afterwards due to consistent daily workouts, that we ended up falling asleep naked and staying asleep till about 8am. To be clear, we went to bed around 10:30pm, so it was a long night of sleep for both of us. I’m grateful for it though, because even though my calves still hurt like crazy, I do feel refreshed and like the healing process is underway. What did we do this morning? The son of a bitch restarted Breath of the Wild and we’ve both been playing on his new save file. I have to buy another copy of that game because I really want to replay it now. Even so, I have a lot of work to do and I’m yet to make proper headway on Julie’s new site. It’s coming along relatively fine in Squarespace but I’ve only worked on it for about an hour and I’ve yet to add the privacy policy and finetune a lot of the product links. I feel like we’ll absolutely need to add some copy for the products, and definitely put a disclaimer about the use of fabric softener either at the top of the description or below...or both? It’s pretty important.

I’ve been chatting to Sarah on Whatsapp. I feel like Sarah is a bit of a better influence on me than Wren, but I hate that I’m comparing them both in my head. I just feel a bit disheartened in my relationship with Wren, because of all the horrid experiences I’ve had with them over the course of this year. It’s been quite confronting to see how Wren acts when they’ve decided they’re in a more dire situation than me...like I’m not even sure if that’s what’s happened, but that’s what it’s felt like to me. I can’t understand how they’ve just been able to decide that just because they’re living alone, this time is harder on them? I don’t know. And even if it is harder, which I can admit that it most likely is, that doesn’t mean that I should have to incorporate addressing their pain into my life on a daily basis. I was willing to chat every day. But I also don’t want to feel like my life has to be placed on hold for them, whenever they may want me. I’ve felt like that enough in this friendship as it is. I’ve given them whatever I’m capable of giving, and I’ve given them a hell of a lot more than I’ve given any other friend I have ever had. Except, maybe, for Malith. But Malith has certainly given me more than I’ve given him. Goddamn. I’m fighting the urge to delete this whole paragraph, but I deserve to express myself. This year has been fucking hard for me. I’ve not been suicidal, because that part of my life is over. Even if Evan and I break up, that part of my life will always always be over. It’s no longer an option in my head, to go down that route. It’s a time-waster. There are better things to do than yearn without end, than wish for better than you’ve got. I’ve been dealt both a bad and good hand, and it’s only bad because I see it as so. It’s only good because I see it as so. Wren needs to learn that everyone has fucked up mums, figuratively speaking. Everyone has SOMETHING that they wish they had lived without. Everyone has SOMETHING that they wished was just a smidge better than it was. I don’t want any part of explaining all the fucked up shit that has happened to me over the course of my childhood. I don’t want to have a dick-measuring contest when it comes to depression and trauma. Fuck that. I’d much rather live in the present and be happy with the life I’ve built for myself. Even Wren needs to feel their privilege to a certain degree. It would be ludicrous if they didn’t. Two apartments, a job that they love that compensates them really fucking well, and an abundance of resources that provides them with independence and agency. I have so little of all that they have, and I’m working my ass off for next to nothing in return, just building up a resume that may not even receive a stolen glance at the end of all of this mindful building. Who knows? My fate rests in the hands of people who I feel quite sincerely don’t want me to succeed. I have a name and face and degree that is just...unhireable. But I don’t let that beat me the fuck down, because I know that I work harder and fucking smarter than anyone else on that pile of resumes. So I keep going, knowing that my work will become of a benefit to whichever organisation I end up representing.

My whole being right now is just revolving around entering the industry, like properly becoming a content writer and being able to actually use my degree to begin to pay off that motherfucking HECS debt. I know I’m swearing a fucking lot, but I feel like it’s actually helping me so I’m not going to stop. I don’t care who reads this and who judges me for it because at the end of the day, you’re the ones reading these sensitive pages on a blog that I’ve told nobody about. How did you get here?

I’m feeling paranoid, fired up. I can feel it in my fingers. My hands are freezing cold, and Evan’s in the one room that has the heater and he’s sitting there on his ass with the door shut. And I’m starting to feel like maybe I always find myself on the outside because I allow myself to get there. I have to start standing up for my damn self, but also...I know how to choose my battles, I suppose. Is it knowing how to choose your battles if you partake in a MINIMAL number of battles? Like a fractional amount of battles to the battles that you could have potentially fought in? Fuck. Nicky’s sleeping on my white vest. I may need to patch that up, but the inner fabric is so sheer, I’m not entirely sure how it’ll respond to a needle and thread. I may need excess fabric...we’ll see.

My cross-stitch order is on the way, and I’m excited to begin this new activity. I bought a hot air balloon pattern for Wren, I’m not sure if I’ve already said that. I’m looking forward to learning how to do this, because apparently it’s quite similar to knitting? Or at least the basics of knitting. I’ve heard that cross-stitch is a good introduction to knitting. After this, it may be good to see if I can give crochet a go too, but it’s also a little bit intimidating. I mean crochet is all about three-dimensional creations, whereas cross-stitch and knitting are generally more...patterned art, scarves, and blankets. Still functional, but more veering on the side of two-dimensionality. I’m a touch surprised that ‘dimensionality’ is a word. It feels like the kind of word that a primary school-aged student would assert is ‘ACTUALLY A WORD’, even though you know it’s not. OH, listen to this fresh hell! That ‘SNACCIDENT’ Typo lunch mug thingo we have says that the word ‘SNACCIDENT’ is a VERB, which is plain RIDICULOUS. If the word ‘accident’ is a noun and they’re claiming that ‘SNACCIDENT’ is a verb, then a sample sentence using that word would read as follows: ‘Henry snaccidented’. VERBS ARE FUCKING DOING WORDS. In no CONCEIVABLE UNIVERSE would ‘SNACCIDENT’ be considered a VERB. My fucking lord. These pages are just RAGE-FILLED, aren’t they? Which is actually pretty interesting, because I don’t feel mad? I feel fine. I feel a little bit annoyed that it’s almost 1:30pm and I’ve not done a lick of work either today or yesterday. I’m thinking I should send Julie a text today asking if she’d be free to meet up again sometime early next week, maybe Tuesday or Wednesday? I feel like I could make great progress on the website during that time. We shall see what happens. We shall see what I eventually get around to doing. I need money, gosh darn...

I feel like I’ve been writing a lot about money during these pages, and I understand why. Money has become a bit of an issue for me since moving out, which I know...doesn’t necessarily need to be said. But you must understand that I’m studying AND working AND working AND working AND working. And I’m still not making that much. It’s frustrating. I’m trying not to think about it right now because of lockdown and the fact that the bulk of my situation is currently out of my own control, but this is all really because of the house. Just knowing that Evan and I are ready for that step is enough for me to just want it now. The issue is - as is usually the case - MONEY. If we had enough for at least a 10% deposit, that would be insane. But a 10% deposit on a house valued at $500,000 is $50,000, and combined we only have HALF of that. If we could potentially get some rich parents or guardians to match what we have, then we could actually do it. But who even has rich parents or guardians? And I don’t think my dad would sign off on this until maybe after we’re married? I’m fighting the urge to go check if the house is still even listed online. I’m hopeful that it’ll be up until we have the money. Or maybe until we can get to a combined $30,000, to give us a bit of a buffer once we’ve given the rest of our money to whichever gross corporation decides to grant us a loan. Ahhhhhh. Why does this world try its hardest to strip you of all your agency? Why is it that so many people struggle to even find a place to be? A place to call their own? It’s cruel. I can only hope this archaic order is on its way out. I was hoping the realities of climate change, or police brutality, or perhaps even COVID-19 would pave the way for the people’s revolution, but I now feel it may be something more innocuous, more unexpected. Something that the bigwigs won’t see coming, as the people themselves won’t see it coming. Even so, everybody knows that it’s on its way. The ultimate fight between the oppressors and the oppressed, and the one brawl that may reveal the future of western society. Democracy is indeed dead. We’ll see how quickly the next system comes into place, and exactly whose side that system will be on. And as for the universal base income, I find myself rooting more and more for it, but I also know that it may be provided to us as a band-aid, built to keep the people’s revolution at bay. But as long as there are billionaires, there’s no way that the revolution won’t be coming. Exponential growth cannot occur unless it’s built on the backs of millions, billions. This current system is just not economically viable, which is ironic considering that ‘economic strength’ is usually the reason capitalists vouch for capitalism. I believe capitalists are just people who haven’t shirked their ‘American Dream’ yet, who basically still believe in Santa Claus. I’m not even sure what to call myself. A social capitalist? I believe people should feel compelled to build their businesses and to innovate their industries, but I don’t believe in penalising those who have ‘valueless skills’. I also refuse to believe there is such a thing as a ‘valueless skill’. Perhaps being able to write stream of consciousness entries is a valueless skill. That may be the only thing.

[dolanmedown]

Beauty and the Beast (E.D.)

Author’s Note: Heyy so this imagine took me so long and made me have a brain fart but it’s finally finished sorry for any typos.

Requested: No

Word Count: 5.5k

Warnings: Curse words

Prompt: Beauty and the Beast inspired

                                                                                                                 Different. That’s how people described you to be. You were a different type of person than most people at your school. And you were ok with that.

You never found interest in what the majority did. Football games, drinking and smoking, none of that amused you. Instead you found your head buried in a book that sucked you in for hours. You had visited the school library more times than any person before, since typically no one really goes to the library this day and age.

But you didn’t care. You always found a sense of comfort in reading that you never had before. Your mom would always read to you before you went to sleep. She always had a book in her hand whenever she was home. Maybe that’s where you got it from.  

But your dad said you guys were different. You were so fearless, so smart and intelligent yet so gentle and caring. According to your father, “your mother could only be one of those things depending on the day. But you, you’re all of them. You’re beautiful.”

“Actually, I’m known to be different.” You said, closing the book that was on your lap with a finger still in the book so you’d know what page to flip right back to.

Your father practically scoffed. “Nonsense. You’re unique. And that’s something no one will ever take away from you.”

Your father would always tell you that your beauty ravished from the inside out. And you thought that to be true. But you could tell there was something else that made many guys like you. Especially this one guy who wouldn’t leave you alone.

“Yo babe wait up.” There was only one person who said that to you every morning on your way to your second period class. George.

He seemed to be infatuated with you, and the very idea of love to him was just having himself between a girls legs. You pulled your binder closer to your chest hiding where his eyes were drawn to most of the time whenever you talked.

A hand reached out to touch your arm and you turned around and were faced with a huge stack of weeds that seemed to be picked from the school parking lot.  

“Are those supposed to be flowers?” You asked stepping back from him as the dirt on the roots started to fall.

“Well, no. This is a way to win you over. When you come over my house there will be nice flowers set up. So,” he stepped closer and pushed the bunch of weeds into my hand, “Come over tonight?”

You pushed the weeds back into his chest. “I will never go over your house George. Sorry.” You turned and walked away to your class as he just stood there with his friends surrounding him.

“Bro she just turned you down again. That has to be a record of some kind.”

“Shut up. She’s just playing hard to get. She’ll fall into my traps soon.”

Ugh. Go to George’s house? Date George? What a disgusting thought. You wanted the real type of love. The love that was similar to those in a book. Maybe those are only stories in the books, but you wished of a love story. Not a sex story.

You weren’t exactly quite sure why George was so obsessed with you either. Many people weren’t. He was one of the most popular guys at your school and he wasn’t bad looking either. Girls pounced on him like he was their last supper and he ate it all up. He loves attention and that’s the one thing he’ll never get enough of. Along with you.

But you were just a simple girl who loved to read.

When the bell finally rung for lunch, students raced to the cafeteria to meet up with their friends and talk about drama and so on and so forth. You walked in the opposite direction of them to the school library where you went every day for lunch.

You pushed open the familiar blue doors and went into the library to the same spot you went every day. It was right next to the librarians desk since you two had lunch together.

“Hello Mrs. Mulligan.” You said, sitting down and pulling your lunch out of your bag.

“Why hello there Y/N. Looking beautiful today as always.” She complimented. You smiled at her to thank her as you thought about her.

She was a little old lady, around 63 years old. Most people wanted to retire at that age but Mrs. Mulligan loved books. She’d said the only way she’d ever leave this job is the day she couldn’t walk to this job. She loved it and had been working in this school for over 40 years.

You and her had many similarities. You were both book worms, both had lost someone dear to them, and both enjoyed quiet and peacefulness over the loudness and wildness.

Not to mention Mrs. Mulligan was gorgeous when she was younger. She had shown photos of her in high school one day after you had shown her your senior photos and she was simply gorgeous.

“Oh but not nearly as beautiful as you my dear. You have something no one else has. You have dignity.”

She always said how back in her days it was so common for people to love books. But now no one ever came into the library besides you and maybe two other people.

“Is anyone here today?” You asked, taking a might bite of your apple.

“One person I believe. He comes in pretty often but he chooses to be in the back.”

You wondered why, but then remembered not many people liked to express their likings, especially if they had to hide them because they felt embarrassed.

“Oh.” You continued to talk as you made your way around the library, looking for a book that interested you.

You came across a book that interested you and went to grab it when another hand came across to grab it as well. You looked up at the figure whose hand also reached for the book and saw a 6’2ish guy who turned away so quickly you weren’t able to see his face. Before you knew it he snatched the book away from you forcefully causing you to lose your balance and stumble back into the bookshelf a bit.

You regained your balance and he was gone.

Such a beast.

Sixth period was the last period of the day for you and it was your favorite. English. You loved english and your teachers seemed to love you more. You were the only student they had that really understood the books the assigned. You were also the only student that was able to make those connections and references to life.

You didn’t even try to be one of those kiss ups that people made you out to be. You were just so fascinated by English and literature that you got it so easily.

So when your teacher asked you to stay after class for a minute you weren’t scared like every other kid would be.

The bell rung and you stayed the extra minute like your teacher asked.

“Y/N, you are my best student when it comes to English. I was wondering if you could help tutor someone who struggles a little more.”

“Oh. I don’t know.” You said honestly. You weren’t sure if you wanted to tutor people.

“You just have a way of explaining the text and literature that makes it easy to understand. And I’ll give you service credits.” You sighed, knowing full well you would give in anyways.

“Sure thing.”

“Great, are you available tomorrow after school? It will just be in the school library.”

“Yes that’ll be fine.”

“Great, thank you so much Y/N.”

“Anytime.” You walked out of the class and out of the school. What had you gotten yourself into?

2:35. The person you were tutoring was already making a great impression. You didn’t realize they were late as your head was buried into a new book you picked out earlier at the library. At around 2:40, the library door slammed open, causing you to jump. You looked at who you were tutoring, and it was the same person who snatched the book from you at the library.

Ethan Dolan. You knew who he was. He was in your English class freshman year. You never knew what he was like since he either never showed up or didn’t care.

You were confused to say the least. Why would Ethan want tutoring for English? He hated it. Unless Mr. Alceri forced him to show up? You weren’t sure. But you were sure he didn’t want to be here.

He took the chair that was the opposite side from you. Although it wasn’t that far away, it was still a good distance that made it a bit harder to help him. But you didn’t mind. You preferred to keep your distance.

“Let’s just start by reading the chapter we’re on now. Page 14.” You both read in silence, and you became so intrigued into the book that you almost didn’t hear Ethan nearly growl.

“I don’t understand this shit! It makes no sense to me!” He exclaimed, clearly frustrated.

“What part don’t you understand?” You asked, looking up from your book to look at him. He shook his head and almost chuckled at your question.

“None of it. These stupid romance books are a fucking joke.”

“Ok well maybe you need someone to explain it to you. Here I’ll show you.” You said, getting up to go over to him. You bent over near him so your book was in front of both of your faces. It had sticky notes on almost every page to help you for your reports.

“Get that book out of my face.”

“What?” You asked, clearly confused by his demand.

“I said get the fucking book out of my face!” He yelled, grabbing the book and throwing it away. For the first time since you’ve met him you feared him, and you quickly grabbed your book off the floor before grabbing your bag and leaving the library.

Never in your life have you been that scared before. You were always one to be brave, fearless. But he just had something that was so beast like about him. Your heart was still beating out of your chest as you walked down the familiar hallways to leave the school building. You were telling your English teacher tomorrow there was no way you were tutoring anymore. At least not him.

What an asshole. You couldn’t believe you were going to waste your time trying to help someone who just you like that.

You passed by the boys locker room and held your breath, as every time you walked by it smelt like body odor and too much cologne. You heard voices and you knew it was just the basketball team. They always had practice at 2:30-4:30, which meant their practice was just around over. And when they turned the corner, you were face to face with George and 2 of his other friends.

“Aye baby, you came to see me? I’m a little sweaty right now but that’s how we’ll be tonight anyways.” He said.

Your face twisted with disgust from both the smell and words of him. He’s gross.

“Get away.” You spoke. You were in no mood to have to deal with George and his crew.

“Come on girl you don’t wanna have a little fun?”he asked, grabbing your arm to pull you closer.

“George leave me alone.” You said, pushing him off of you. He suddenly became angry and grabbed both of your arms so you couldn’t go anywhere.

“What did you just say?”he asked. You weren’t scared. You knew he was trying to be cool in front of his little macho men. But you didn’t have your chance to defend yourself.

“She said leave her alone.” A deep voice spoke. George released his grip on you and you took the opportunity to take a step back before turning around. Ethan.

“Oh and look who we have here. Ethan Dolan. Look buddy you don’t scare me. You wanna fight, let’s go.” George said.

“Don’t. He’s just trying to instigate. That’s all he does.” You said, putting your arm in front of Grayson to stop him. You weren’t sure why George would want to fight Ethan. Ethan was at least five inches taller than him, and two times more muscular as well.

“Yeah listen to your little bitch. I just can’t wait until she’s face down on my bed as I’m fucking her until she passes out. Who’s bitch is she now?” George asked. Once again your face twisted with disgust but Ethan took this opportunity to lunge at George.

They went on the floor and Ethan was definitely winning until George’s 2 other friends jumped in and attacked Ethan as well. All you saw was Ethan practically throw them away from him and they got up, looking at Ethan. He stood up and the next thing you know they all ran away from him.

You watched Ethan slowly walk over to the lockers. He seemed to be in pain as you heard him groaning.

He turned around and slid his back down the lockers, closing his eyes as he landed on the floor. You started to walk away but stopped and turned back towards him. No matter how much you disliked someone, you hated seeing people in pain.

“You have to get up for me.” You spoke softly. “I can’t help you if you don’t stand.”

He grudgingly grabbed your hand and you helped him up with whatever strength you had. You had your arm around his strong, muscular back as you led him back into the school library. You knew there was a first aid kit somewhere in there that could help you clean Ethan’s cuts.

You got him settled on a chair as you fiddled around to find the first aid kit. Her office. It was definitely in her office. You went to open the door to her office but it was locked. Normally she would’ve been here, but since she was able to go home at 2:30 there was no need for her to be here at 4:18. You thought for a moment and had an idea.

You got the bobby pin that was holding a strand of your hair back out of your hair and held it in between your teeth to separate the flat side from the jetted side. Taking the flat side you slid it into the lock, wiggled it around a few times before hearing the familiar click. Turning the door handle once more you opened the door to the office and turned the lights on. You retrieved the first aid kit from her office and closed the door, making sure it was locked before going over to Ethan.

You studied his face for a moment to look at the cuts as your mind wandered. His lip was slightly cut open, but the bigger cut was from the side of his face where he looked like he was clawed.

“Not the good girl I would’ve imagined.” He spoke, referencing to the stunt you just pulled.

“You have a big scratch on the side.” You said disregarding his last comment. You began pouring hydrogen peroxide into a cotton pad to clean it.

“Yeah I know. Such a pussy he can’t even fight with his hands he has to use his nails.”

You frowned at the language he was using and he noticed, stopping what he was saying before sitting up straight. You pressed the cotton pad to the side of his face before he pulled away.

“Ow!!” He practically roared.

“Would you let me clean it?” You snapped.

“It hurts!”

“It’s only gonna hurt more if you keep moving!”

“This wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t storm out.”

“And this wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t scare me out!” You almost yelled. He seemed taken aback by this, not knowing that you were more scared than angry. He still didn’t say anything and let you cleaned his cuts, his jaw clenching at the pain that lasted for 15 seconds.

After you cleaned it you went to put a tape over the cut so it didn’t get any bacteria into it but Ethan pulled his head away, indicating he didn’t want. You shook your head disagreeing with his choice but at this point you didn’t care.

You went to put the first aid kit under the cabinet and turned back around to see Ethan gone.

Whatever. Closing the library door, you walked out of the library and school before getting in your car.

Your phone buzzed as you were getting ready to go to sleep. You looked down to see your friend calling you.

“How was it?”she asked as you answered the phone.

Your head went back against the cushion as you shut your eyes.

“You don’t wanna know.”

You agreed to tutor Ethan again today. You had a feeling that you would be able to actually help him. And maybe you were crazy, but you had a feeling he would change his demeanor. It would just take time.

Today he wasn’t that late, and he didn’t sit that far away from you. Granted it wasn’t ideal to help him, but it was better than the last time.

You didn’t waste any time and opened up right to the same page you were on the previous day, page 14. You began to read it when Ethan cleared his throat.

“I uh- I just don’t get what this is saying.”

You looked up and saw his face, his eyes not dark and empty as they were before, but rather confused. Maybe that’s why he hated English, because he just didn’t get it. You slowly and hesitantly got up, waiting for him to protest you moving closer. But he didn’t, so you sat next to him.

“Here, let me show you the way I look at it.” You said, and started explaining what you grasped from it as simply as you could to Ethan. You tried to stay on topic about explaining the first part of the book to Ethan, but you couldn’t help yourself. You began to go off about the different love books and romance you read, connecting each one to this. You started talking about they way these love books affected the way you look at love and life in your eyes. You just went on and on, but you weren’t stopped once. Ethan listened to you intently and actually held on to every work you said.

“Oh my God I just spent 10 minutes rambling, I’m sorry.” You said, a slight blush starting to form on your cheeks as you looked down at the book.

Ethan shook his head, indicating he didn’t mine. “It’s fine. You actually helped me understand the book a little better.”

“Really?” You asked, a little too excited.

“Yeah.” You smiled, proud of yourself and started to read the book again as half a smile crept onto Ethan’s face.

To say the truth, Ethan was still completely lost. He understood what you said, but the book was still so confusing to him. How could these people do all this for some love? It sounded pathetic to him.

But you got so happy when he said you understood it, and the way you got shy when you went on a ramble made Ethan so intrigued. He didn’t have the heart to tell you he was still confused. He mentally cursed himself for lying to you, because as you read on he couldn’t tell you what was happening. But mostly because he was starting to change for you. He felt himself get butterflies in his stomach and wanted to punch them out of him, but he knew he couldn’t help it as much as he wanted to. So he looked at you, and then looked back at the reading. But his mind wasn’t focused on the reading, it was thinking about a million other things.

You were tutoring Ethan again today. The whole day you kept thinking about it, and you weren’t sure why.

Sure you weren’t.

Ethan opened the library doors and slid into the seat next to you.

“Hey.” He said, making you jump out of your seat. You had no idea he was there, because as per usual your head was buried into a book. He laughed as you rested your hand on your heart.

“Holy crap you scared me.”

“Holy crap?” he asked. “Have you ever said a curse word in your life?”

“I mean yeah I say them. But not a lot. Or ever for that matter. Only when I’m really mad.” He laughed again.

“You’ve been hanging out with old ladies too much.” You rolled your eyes and stuck your tongue out at him.

“First of all, I have other friends. And secondly, old people can be very cool. Mrs. Mulligan is my bro.”

He shook his head and put his head in his hands. “Oh my God don’t ever say that again.” You laughed as he joined you.

“Ok come on, we have to start reading,” You encouraged. He groaned but still opened the book to page 45. Making great progress here.

You started reading and thought everything was going fine until Ethan abruptly stopped you.

“Ok I’m sorry but I’m really lost.”

“Don’t be sorry. Just tell me where I lost you.”

But he didn’t give you a specific answer. He looked down before looking at you again.

“I never got this. I just said I did because I didn’t think you’d be able to understand.” He fiddled with his fingers and you looked intently at him. You felt bad. Clearly he wanted to understand this, he just wasn’t getting it for whatever reason. You wanted to help him.

“Talk to me Ethan. You know what?” You asked, sliding the books to the edge of the table before it crashed on the floor.

“What-” he started to ask before you cut him off.

“Who cares about this project right now. Ethan this could be the key to me helping you. Please, just, talk to me.” You practically begged. He looked down and sighed before looking back up.

“I never felt loved before. I never felt like I was wanted or needed. Even in my family. My parents could give two shits about me. They care more for my brother and sister than me. I mean they’ve always considered me to be so independent and everything but maybe I don’t want that all the time. I guess I don’t understand these books in English because they’re all love books and I never felt like I’ve really been loved in a while.”

He finished his speech by looking at you. You looked up and searched in his eyes. You searched for that cold expression you’ve seen many times.

But you didn’t see that. You saw a gentle, truthful brightness that came from his eyes.

“So you understand the books that have to do with drama more than love?” You asked.

“Yeah. But when have we done that? Never. So annoying he chooses these stupid romance books so he thinks he has a chance at his relationship.” He scoffed, referring to our teacher. You frowned.

“I don’t get it. How do you understand love so well? You don’t have a boyfriend.” He asked.

“Uh how would you know that?” You asked, defensive.

“Oh right I forgot, George.” He joked, a soft smirk forming.

“Ugh. He disgusts me.” You said.

“Why is he so obsessed with you?” He asked. You shook your head not knowing the answer to his question.

“I couldn’t answer that because I have no clue. I mean there’s nothing in me that he couldn’t get from any other girl in this school.” Ethan opened his mouth to say something but decided against it.

“He hasn’t bothered me since that day you chased him away.” You said. “Which reminds me, I never got to thank you. For you know, making him leave me alone.” You said.

He simply shook his head, as if it was no big deal.

“I never got to apologize. I’m sorry for scaring you out that day and throwing your book. I never meant to make you scared. I’m just so used to people running away from me instead of trying to help.” He said, looking down. He almost seemed embarrassed.

You went to put your hands over his, but you stopped. Instead you took one hand and grabbed one of his. He looked up and you saw his eyes move down to the lower part of your face before looking back into your eyes.

“You know I’m always here to help you, right? Let’s start from the beginning,” you guided him and went to the other end of the table to pick up the book that had fallen off the table.

That had started the almost daily occurrence of the library meet up. Every day at around 2:30, the library would be empty besides you, him and Mrs. Mulligan.

It became easier for you guys to become closer. Spending almost every day with each other, you were only bound to develop feelings neither of you knew about.

You were also able to discover that part of him that he had never shown the anyone. The loving, caring and soft part of him. He hated to show that side to anyone, but around you it was so easy. He didn’t want to scare you away because he wouldn’t know what to do with himself.

Now it’s Friday, and you’re both sitting there finishing up the last chapter of the book.

“Thank god this is the last chapter,” Ethan spoke suddenly, interrupting your inner voice reading the words on the page.

“Why? Sick of this love book?” You teased. He looked at you and frowned, disagreeing with your statement.

“Not quite. I’m just sick of Mr. Alceri trying to relate it back to his pathetic love life,” he remarked. You couldn’t help but to let out a soft scoff, slightly laughing.

He was actually sad this book was ending because he didn’t know what it meant for you both. Although it was the end of the book, he was praying for a beginning of something great.

At the last tutor session for the book, you put some classical music on your phone.

Ethan looked at you like you were crazy. “What? It helps me relax!” You exclaimed. He laughed and shook his head.

You got up from your chair and he looked at you again.

“This makes me want to dance.” You said, extending your hand out for him to grab.

“I don’t dance.” He said, rather sternly.

“Come on, everyone dances!” You exclaimed, grabbing his hand and attempting to pull him out of his chair. He stayed put for a while as you struggled to make him stand. You finally stopped and stared at him, silently pleading. He saw those big, bright puppy eyes and he knew he couldn’t say no. He reluctantly got up slowly out of his chair and you nearly squealed in excitement. He chuckled a little, amused at how excited you got.

You waited a moment to hear the music and the beat it was on. Finally you were able to grab his hands to start to dance to the music.

He stared at you before going along with your movements. He was so gentle. You were so small compared to him he was afraid he’d break you. His hand covered a majority of your back as he softly placed his hand there, and the other in your hand as you both held it out.

You danced to the slow beat peacefully, as if there was no rush and you had nowhere to be. As if time stopped for the both of you to have this moment. You were quite impressed with his dancing. It seemed to come to easily for him. He could say the same for you.

“I learned to dance when I was 8. My father taught me so I wouldn’t be embarrassed at the Father-Daughter Dance.” You said. He laughed before starting his story.

“I never really learned,” he began. “I remember just always wanting to dance. Just comes naturally I guess.”

You could definitely agree with that. He seemed to do it to effortlessly you were swept off your feet, both figuratively and literally.

A slight giggle escaped your lips as he spun you around, his arm tight around your waist while your legs dangled in the air, hair whipping around your face due to the fast twirl.

He watched your face. Studied your face. He always waited to see that radiant smile you gave. He watched the ways your eyes would change, the way they almost grew and got brighter as you would both read the same love story you’ve been reading for the past month. He watched that love story turn into real life. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he knew.

He knew the day you didn’t show up to the tutoring at the library. You never got sick. Maybe once every two years. But you somehow ended up being so sick you couldn’t get out of bed to go to school.

Your head was killing you, you had the heat chills you didn’t eat for 2 days, you threw up God knows how many times. Your dad was debating on bringing you to the hospital.

The funny part was you had never missed a day of school before, but you were so sick you couldn’t formulate a thought in your head to let Ethan or Mrs. Mulligan know ahead of time.

Ethan remembers walking into the library, expecting to see you sitting there, already taking a sneak peek at the chapter you were supposed to read together. But the table was empty.

Maybe she’s running late, he thought. But you got out earlier than him, that’s why you were always waiting for him.

“She’s not here. Her dad emailed all her teachers. She’s quite sick .” Mrs. Mulligan was shocked herself and a bit worried, but the email from your dad calmed her down. However Ethan, not so much.

His face showed expressions of being worried and sad. He didn’t realize the effect of seeing her every day. She became the one thing he looked forward to seeing. He could feel himself smiling and his heartbeat getting fast every time he thought of her.

He wanted nothing more than to go see you and make sure you were ok. To drive you your house and stay there and see your face and just be there for you. But reality kicked in, and he realized that was so unrealistic.

“You care for the girl, don’t you?” Mrs.Mulligan asked.

“More than anything.” He replied quickly. He didn’t have to think about it. He loved you. And everyone could see it. Mrs.Mulligan nudged him a bit and he looked down to look at her.

“What are you waiting for? You don’t get any younger boy.”

He dropped you out of the air so your feet were on the ground again, his hands still securely on your waist. Your hands were resting on his bulging biceps, much bigger and muscular than you would’ve thought.

“I love you.” His eyes scanned yours back and forth as he breathing almost stopped.

You were fearless. You weren’t afraid to say what you’ve been wanting to say for the past few weeks. You looked deep into his eyes, those bright eyes that attracted you since the first time you really looked at him.

Your heart was beating fast but you didn’t waste any time.

“I love you too.” You could’ve sworn he released a breath he was holding.

“I’ve waited my whole life to hear that.”

And that was all you needed before you kissed. You felt the same gentleness, caring, and loving that was there even when this all started.

Because one day, you’ll change. Some change for the better, others for the worse. But you’ll meet the thing or person that changes you forever. Ethan met his change in his life, and no one has ever seen him quite like this.

He went from this dark, mysterious creature to one of the most loved people in a heartbeat. And all it took was a time.

A tale as old as time.

Song as old as rhyme.

Beauty and the beast.

[memoriashell]

to you, who i write for

Characters / Pairing: Soriku; though it really just reads as Riku angst / pining. 

crossposted on ao3

Notes: This was the first thing I wrote post KH3 and I think I’m okay with putting it out at this point. So yes, warning for KH3 spoilers.

The formatting of this fic is a little weird quite frankly, because it’s a ( mostly ) texting based fic. I used strikethrough at points to indicate messages that were deleted / unsent, but since I know strikethrough can be finicky on some devices ( tumblr mobile ), so I’ve gone ahead and also italicized those parts as well.

There are also some obvious typos! Mostly for a touch of realism because Riku absolutely accidentally typos shit. There are other reasons that I hope are obvious when reading it!

Summary: Riku keeps sending messages because he doesn’t know how else to cope.

( somehow, i hope these words reach you )

[ Text : Sora ] I’m sorry I haven’t texted back in a while.

[ Text : Sora ] We’ve been busy. Not that that’s any excuse.

I’m sure you’ve been too busy to notice.

[ Text : Sora ] Mickey said to tell you he sends his best wishes.

Let me knwo if you need anything.

It’s an admittedly bad habit he’s gotten into, writing up messages that he won’t send. Riku means to cut off the urge before it become a habit, but here he is, still typing up messages for him and him alone.

It’s kind of therapeutic, to write up the things that he can’t really find the words to say aloud— and one would say he should invest in a journal before he accidentally sends a text he does not mean to, but he doesn’t think it’d be quite the same. Doesn’t simulate the same kind of conversation, even if that means a few things that he doesn’t mean to say slip through.

( If it were just anyone he was sending these messages to, Riku knows he might have more than a few reservations— but it’s Sora, who never judges him, even if there are more than a few things he would like to keep secret for him ).

So he continues typing up messages to get things off his chest, and if Sora finds it annoying that he spends more time typing up theoretical conversations than actually having them, he never says anything about it. Probably because Sora only understands how to use their gummiphones half the time to begin with.

Of course, he does send actual messages too, even if perhaps less frequently. Short little blurbs when he can tell that by the increasing frequency in his messages that Sora is worried ( and as bad as Riku is at saying what he wants, he can at least make sure he isn’t worrying for no good reason ).

Notifications of social media updates, text messages that were a litany of errors between them; the buildup of numbers bring some form of comfort.

Until they don’t.

[ Text : Sora ] It’s not like it’s nothing new. Being separated from you two.

We’ve done it before in worse circumstances.

[ Text : Sora ] It hurts?

Is this what it was like for you?

I think I understand your pain now. Srry.

[ Text : Sora ] Are you coming home soon?

[ Text : Sora ] It’s still weird to not wake up to you clogging up my notifications.

[ Text : Sora ] I guess I can return that favor for once.

I’ll try to keep you updated on hwo everyone’s doing.

[ MESSAGE UNREAD ]

If he had been dependent on his phone before, then it was most certainly his lifeline afterwards.

Old notifications are left alone, a flashing number remains constant—as if the moment Riku checks it, it will disappear ( and some of the hope that he clings onto will go with it ).

He sends messages when he needs someone to talk to, so, nothing has really changed in that regard. He thinks about it a little more like writing letters than a journal. Sora will see them eventually, he hopes—thinks he would laugh at how many messages he sends and what kind of things Riku chooses to talk about.

It’s better than thinking of the alternative—

( The illusion is jarring and broken more quickly than he would like to admit because Sora has almost always been quick to check his messages, regardless of situation, the fact that the device will remind him of the fact that his messages continue to go unread is jarring and hard to get used to.

He willingly clings to the hope that something might change )

[ Text : Kairi ] Why.

[ Text : Kairi ] Why was it you?

Why was it him?

[ Text : Kairi ] Was it all pointless?

I think it’s my fault.

[ Text : Kairi ] For not doing something.

Sooner.

Better.

Whatevr.

[ Text : Kairi ] It should have been me, not you.

[ Text : Kairi ] I want to see you two come back.

[ Text : Kairi ] We should talk when you both are safe again.

[ Text : Sora ] It’s weird.

[ Text : Sora ] Sometimes it feels like you two are dead or something.

I mean.

You kind of are?

[ Text : Sora ] But you promised. You’d come bcak.

I’m holding you to that.

[ Text : Sora ] Sometimes it just.

Feels like we can’t talk about you for some reason.

Guess everyone’s still hurting.

[ Text : Sora ] They miss you, though. I can tell.

They miss both of you.

[ Text : Sora ] I miss you both.

[ Text : Sora ] Come home soon.

[ Text : Sora ] You promised.

[ Text : Sora ] If I called, would you answer?

[ Text : Sora ] I guess not.

There are some miracles evn you can’t pull off.

[ Text : Sora ] I’m trying to act like it’s okay.

[ Text : Sora ] You can probably tell otherwise though. You’ve always been good at that.

Even if you can’t pick up on other things.

[ Text : Sora ] Srory.

About everything.

I’ll try harder.

[ Text : Sora ] I know you’d want me to.

[ Text : Sora ] I can’t

I haven’t been seleep?

Sleeping.

[ Text : Sora ] I keep.

[ Text : Sora ] Dreaming.

[ Text : Sora ] About yyou? I think?

Thats not really somehting new, though.

[ Text : Sora ] But it’s dffrnet this time?

I think

I know?

I’m seeing hwat you’re doing?

[ Text : Sora ] Im.

[ Text : Sora ] I’m nnot sure?

[ Text : Sora ] I’m worr

[ Text : Sora ] Im scared.

[ Text : Sora ] I’m scared for yuou.

[ Text : Sora ] I haven’t mentioned it too anyone.

I’ll have to eventually because I’m not sleeping enough

Can barely make sense of what I’m writing.

Pretty sure Aqua’s going to start casting sheep spells on me soon.

[ Text : Sora ] I’m sure you would agree with her.

Probably would have beeen the one to fall asleep instead.

[ Text : Sora ] But.

I can’t tell them?

Not yet,

[ Text : Sora ] I don’t wwant them to have to hurt more.

[ Text : Sora ] I know you’d want me to rely on them but.

Trust me on htis one?

[ Text : Sora ] I 

I think

I know Im asking too much

[ Text : Sora ] I’m being selfish agian?

Sorry.  

[ Text : Sora ] Pleaes come back soon.

[ Text : Kairi ] I hate you.

[ Text : Kairi ] No.

I don’t.

I 

[ Text : Kairi ] I hate me.

I think you knew that already, though.

I’m sorry.

[ Text : Kairi ] I wish you were here.

I think you’d know how to handle thsi better than I do.

I miss being able to talk to you.

Both of you.

[ Text : Kairi ] I’ll make it up to you both.

Soon.

[ Text : Kairi ] I promise.

[ Text : Sora ] I miss you.

[ Text : Sora ] I’m sorry.

[ Text : Sora ] You two have been gone for a year now.

It’s weird.

I guess we can officially hold a funeral?

[ Text : Sora ] I’m joking. Kind of.

It was a serious consideration, I think. By someone.

[ Text : Sora ] Probably Lea.

[ Text : Sora ] Still having dreams but.

Less frequently lately.

I’m worried. Is everything okay?

[ Text : Sora ] Before, I could always tell you were alright.

Just a feeling in my heart that told me so.

I’m starting to wonder if I can actually tell that you’re alive still

Or if I’m just being hopefull.

[ Text : Sora ] We miss you.

[ Text : Sora ] We haven’t given up on you two.

[ Text : Sora ] So you better come back.

I think they’ll cry if you don’t.

[ Text : Sora ] Because you.

[ Text : Sora ] For them.

[ Text : Sora ] We just.

[ Text : Sora ] Aynways.

[ Text : Sora ] Just hang on a little longer. Please.

[ Text : Sora ] I sthis my fault for not doing anything.

[ Text : Sora ] For not saying anything?

[ Text : Sora ] Im

I 

It’s too late now, I guess.

[ Text : Sora ] I wish I could hcange things.

[ Text : Sora ] It wasn’t supposed to be you.

[ Text : Sora ] I’m sorry.

[ Text : Sora ] I miss you.

I wish I didnt.

I know it’s not weak to feel like this but.

[ Text : Sora ] I wish I ccould be stronger. For both of you.

[ Text : Sora ] Srory

[ Text : Sora ] Sorry

[ Text : Sora ] I love you.

[ Text : Sora ] It’s kind of weird.

Scary weird.

[ Text : Sora ] Sometimes it feels like everyone else has forgotten about you two.

[ Text : Sora ] I guess they’ve started moving on and I haven’t.

I always hold onto things too long.

[ Text : Sora ] Somehow it doesn’t feel that simple.

[ Text : Sora ] Don’t tell them, but

I’m scared they’re forgetting?

[ Text : Sora ] It’s happened before. Not tht you remember.

[ Text : Sora ] That’s why I have to keep sending you messages.

Even on the bad days. When I can’t

Dont know what to say.

[ Text : Sora ] So I won’t forget.

[ Text : Sora ] Sometimes I think I’m being irrational, though.

[ Text : Sora ] I know they still remember you.

[ Text : Sora ] They have to.

[ Text : Sora ] You haven’t forgotten about us either, right?

[ Text : Sora ] I can’t

[ Text : Sora ] Im trying

[ Text : Sora ] It’s.

[ Text : Sora ] Bad.

Feels bbad. Brken.

[ Text : Sora ] Haven’t written in a hwile.

While.

Sorry.

[ Text : Sora ] Cant figure out what I want to say.

[ Text : Sora ] Trying to be better.

[ Text : Sora ] Cloud be worse?

[ Text : Sora ] That’s not. Saying mcuh.

[ Text : Sora ] Sorry.

[ Text : Sora ] I’ll try to ttalk to you again soon.

[ Text : Sora ] Kairi came home today.

[ Text : Sora ] I’m sure you knew that.

[ Text : Sora ] We talked for a bit.

She couldn’t talk about you.

Can’t blame her.

[ Text : Sora ] You’re worrying me again.

What happened?

[ Text : Sora ] I think it’s been almost two years now?

Not srue.

Stopped keeping track.

Days keep blurring together.

[ Text : Sora ] I did a year before

So this shouldn’t be that much worse.

But it’s so much harder ths time?

[ Text : Sora ] Probably because I at least knew you were safe last time.

[ Text : Sora ] We’re trying.

[ Text : Sora ] Im try

We want you back home. Safe.

[ Text : Sora ] I’ll try harder.

[ Text : Sora ] Are you waiting for me?

[ Text : Sora ] I hpoe you’re just slaking off again.

[ Text : Sora ] Sora, I 

We

It’s so bad without uyou.

[ Text : Sora ] Please.

[ Text : Sora ] Come home.

[ Text : Sora ] We ccan’t.

[ Text : Sora ] I cant

Do this? Without you

I

[ Text : Sora ] We’re all still waiting on you.

His phone has become a definitive lifeline to keeping himself sane. Which isn’t saying much when he is haunted by another lifetime in his dreams, but—

He’s never cared for conventional, healthy methods, anyways. He takes too much care into making sure nothing happens to his phone because, well ( he doesn’t want to imagine what would happened if something happened— but he clings to the hope of a sign, anyways ).

The feeling of something distant in his soul, something missing— something rips at his soul and in the same moment something comes up on his phone—

He must have voiced some sort of anguish because he’s distantly aware of someone asking if he’s okay, but—

He can’t respond, eyes focused on the pop-up on his phone

[ ERROR: MESSAGE COULD NOT BE SENT TO RECIPIENT ]

[ Text : Sora ] I guess these aren’t getting to you?

[ Text : Sora ] That’s fine.

It was foolish for me to hope any of these messages could reach you.

[ Text : Sora ] I still haven’t looked at any of your old messages.

[ Text : Sora ] I like to think you were answering my messages.

Silly, but it helped sometimes.

[ Text : Sora ] Bfeore I could feel you. Knew you were okay.

But not today. What happened?

I know you can’t tell me but.

Wish you could.

[ Text : Sora ] Is this why Kairi couldn’t tell us?

[ Text : Sora ] I think the others can tell too.

That something is different.

[ Text : Sora ] I know I can’t call you, but can you call me?

[ Text : Sora ] It’s important.

[ Text : Sora ] Because I know

If you call, I’ll be able to find you.

[ Text : Sora ] Nothing could stop me from finding you.

Nothing.

[ Text : Sora ] So call for me?

[ Text : Sora ] I’ll see you soon, Sora

Promise.

[ ERROR: MESSAGE COULD NOT BE SENT TO RECIPIENT ]

[carmenlire]

Higher than the Big Trees Ch. 13

read chapter one

read on ao3

Magnus walks into Basil’s Cafe fifteen minutes before they’re supposed to meet. As expected, the little diner is deserted. There’s an elderly woman sitting in the corner reading the newspaper, but other than that it’s just the skeleton waitstaff. There’s only two people working in the front, a waitress and cashier, with the only other employee being the cook manning the grill.

Magnus breathes a little sigh of relief. It would be just his luck that he’d promise Alexander the place would be empty only for it to turn out to be the busiest day of the year.

He slides into a booth towards the back, facing the door, and places his briefcase beside him on the seat. The waitress knows him-- he eats here at least twice a week and she's a student-- and she knows if he’s in a hurry or if he’d like time before she comes over. He’s given his space as he sits down and takes a minute to decompress. His freshmen this morning had been more interactive than usual but Wednesdays run late and he has a pile of work to finish before he can call it a day.

Magnus already knows what he’s going to order. He wasn’t joking about how delicious their burgers were and he’s starving. Since he has a little time before Alec’s expected to show up, he takes out the latest chapter of his manuscript, intent on editing a few pages while he waits.

He didn’t count on the unwelcome interruption.

Someone snatches the page he was working on out of his hand and Magnus’s head whips up, annoyed and ready to lambaste whoever had the audacity to do such a thing.

He should’ve known.

“Raphael,” he hisses as he makes a move to reclaim his paper. “What are you doing here?”

Raphael doesn’t even spare him a look, just keeps reading over the page he’s stolen. Magnus knows that he won’t receive an answer until Raphael is damn good and ready to give him one, so he sits with a glare pasted on his face, waiting to be acknowledged.

Finally, Raphael drops the paper back on the table, merely offering, “You have a typo on line seventeen.”

Magnus arches a brow but his eyes drop down to the page and he skims until he finds the error. He takes his pen and makes a notation before letting it drop down on top of the rest of the draft.

“And, again I ask, what are you doing here,” he repeats sardonically.

Raphael takes a moment to look at him like he’s an idiot before responding. “It is lunchtime, Magnus, and this is a well-known lunch spot. I wonder what possible motive I could have for stopping by?”

Magnus makes a play of looking affronted, but inside he can’t help the worry that’s descended on him. He’d told Alec that he wouldn’t be recognized during this lunch and here is one of his best friends who most definitely knows what Alec looks like.

Plus, Magnus knows Raphael. The little shit is almost guaranteed to make a comment that will either attempt to embarrass him or a dig at Alec just on principle. Magnus isn’t interested in finding out what kind of mood Raphael’s in today.

Magnus looks Raphael up and down. “Where, then, is your food mon ami?”

Raphael doesn’t answer right away, taking a minute to complete his own examination, looking Magnus over. “I just ordered it. They have to actually cook the food, you know. It doesn’t magically appear as soon as the words leave my mouth.”

“How unfortunate,” Magnus drolly replies.

A little smile graces his friend's lips as he finally takes a seat on the other side of the booth.

“Why are you being so weird,” Raphael bluntly asks.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, I think you do,” is his response. “First of all, you’re always happy to see me, or at least a little less panicked than you are currently. What’s going on? Are you meeting your lover? Are they married and you’re worried I’ll judge you? Need I remind you that if I didn’t say anything about that Jamaican priest--”

“Hey,” Magnus cuts in, affronted. “You know very well that you’re making it sound much worse than it was--”

“Oh, and let’s not forget that time I caught you with your pants down, literally, in the museum--”

“Raphael,” Magnus hisses, leaning forward as he catches sight of Ale through the window, walking towards the door.

“Raphael shuts up, looking at Magnus expectantly.

Magnus, for his part, feels his pulse trip as he keeps one eye on Raphael, the other on Alec as he reaches for the door.

Magnus only has a few seconds to avert disaster.

“I will explain everything later if you leave right now, no questions asked,” he furiously whispers.

Raphael leans back in his seat, looking like he’s settling in for a siege before asking, “Why?”

“I will explain everything later. Right now, I need you to to leave without saying a word.”

While his expression is serious, Raphael’s eyes are dancing with glee at the prospect of catching onto whatever has Magnus in such a tizzy. He lays his arm on the table, fingers drumming against the top.

“I don’t know,” he muses. “It must be something big to rattle you like this. Let’s see--”

“Magnus?”

Magnus sighs a little, knowing that while lunch will probably be lovely, he’ll have hell to catch later. He tries to silence Raphael with a look, knowing it’s futile, before he turns to take in Alec.

Alec’s dressed casual, in jeans and a baseball tee. There’s a snapback over that lovely hair and he looks good enough to eat.

Magnus wants to kiss him. Just a little.

He pushes those thoughts from his head through sheer force of will and stands up smoothly, smiling on his face.

“Alexander,” he greets. “Punctual as always.”

Alec returns the smile, giving Magnus an obvious onceover before his eyes catch on Raphael.

His presence must startle him, because Alec stutters a little before getting out, “I wasn’t expecting anyone but you--”

“Oh, he’s just leaving, darling, “ Magnus hastily cuts in.

He resolutely ignores Raphael’s pointed looks, instead watches Alec to make sure he’s not about to run away. While he’d set down the rules for discretion for his own sake, Magnus can’t forget that Alec’s taking a chance, too. While he’s definitely more accustomed to media intrusion, Alec likes to stay anonymous when he can. It’s expected that he’d be weary when confronted with a stranger-- especially when Magnus had all but guaranteed privacy.

Alec looks uncertain for a moment, but that disappears a second later. Magnus only picks up on it because he’s studying him so closely, as Alec subtly steels himself before turning completely to Raphael, who’s still sitting in the booth.

He sticks out a hand. “I’m Alec. I don’t believe we’ve met.”

Raphael darts a quick glance to Magnus before facing Alec and shaking his hand.

“I’m Raphael. I’m one of Magnus’s best friends and resident foreign language expert at Columbia. Nice to meet you.”

Alec’s smile turns genuine as he learns that Raphael obviously isn’t interested in meeting Alec Lightwood.

Not wanting to give him any more time to ruin things, Magnus pointedly looks at Raphael. “I do believe your lunch is ready, friend.”

Luckily, at that moment the cashier yells out a number and Raphael nods once. “That’s my order. I’ll see you later, Magnus.” He turns to Alec, giving him a considering look. “It was nice meeting you Lightwood.”

Alec looks surprised for a second, blurting out, “You know who I am?”

Raphael snorts inelegantly and Magnus makes a note to tease him mercilessly about it later.

“Of course I know who you are. I’ve been friends with Magnus for years.”

Magnus closes his eyes, praying for death, before he opens them, only to find Alec looking at him. He has an expression on his face that Magnus can’t interpret.

“What does that mean?”

Raphael answers for him, a skeptical look on his face. “Like you don’t know,” he replies. “Magnus is a huge fan of yours. If I have to listen to him wax poetic about your solo in Vanilla Cheesecake one more time--”

“Chocolate Raspberry,” Magnus and Alec correct, simultaneously.

Raphael just shakes his head. “Whatever.”

His mouth opens for what no doubt would be another scintillating tidbit that Magnus would rather keep hidden, when he abruptly closes it.

He smiles before giving a little shrug. “Well, my food is getting cold and I have a class in half an hour. I’ll see you later, Magnus.”

Magnus doesn’t know how, but those words definitely sound like a threat.

Magnus just nods and Alec smiles at Raphael as he climbs out of the booth and heads to the counter to grab his bag. He doesn’t look their way as he leaves and this might be the first awkward silence Magnus has ever experienced with Alec.

There’s a pause before Alec clears his throat.

“So, are you hungry?”

Magnus laughs a little before sitting back down, gesturing for Alec to do the same. He answers as Alec slides into the place Raphael was just sitting.

“Starving, darling. Today’s been busy as usual and it doesn’t show any signs of stopping."

Alec snags a menu from where they’re stacked between the ketchup and napkins.

“What’s going on,” he asks, voice a little distracted as he starts leafing through the pages.

“Just the usual, really. Classes and grading. I have my evening class tonight and that’s always a hoot.”

Alec’s eyes flick up to meet Magnus’s as he quirks a smile. “A hoot?”

Magnus mock glares. “Yes, Alexander, a hoot. You know, a riot? An expression used to signify a good time?”

“Oh, I know what a hoot is,” Alec says with a grin. “I just haven’t heard anyone besides me and my great grandmother use it.”

“Aren’t you a funny one.”

Looking back at the list of burgers, Alec murmurs, “I do try.”

There’s a few moments of quiet as Alec peruses the rest of the menu before the waitress comes over.

“Hey, Dr. Bane.”

Magnus smiles. “Hello, Jasmine. How are you today?”

Jasmine shrugs, taking the pen out of her apron, turning the page over in her pad. “I’m doing okay. I have a huge paper due next week for Professor Fell, so I’m focusing on that right now.”

Nodding encouraging, he offers, “I’m sure you’ll do great as always, dear. Still looking to take my Southeast Asia class in the fall?”

Jasmine grins, looking enthusiastic as she replies, “Are you kidding me? I wouldn’t miss it. It’s going to be my senior year-- I have to take at least one more class with you before I graduate. Now, what can I get you two?”

Magnus looks at Alec, questioningly, and Alec nods, confirming that he’s ready to order.

“I’ll have the mushroom and swiss burger with a side of fries and a sweet tea. Alec?”

Alec looks up at Jasmine with a smile. “Hi, can I get the double bacon cheeseburger and fries. I’ll get an iced tea, too.”

Jasmine writes down the orders quickly before looking back up at the two of them with a smile. “Thanks guys. These should be ready soon.” She gestures around the empty room. “It’s not like we’re busy or anything.” With that, she walks over to the counter to place the order.

Alec drums his fingers on the tabletop. “How was your weekend?”

Magnus lays his head in his palm, thinking about what he’d done. “Uneventful. I met friends for brunch on Sunday but other than that I just worked out and binge watched my latest show on Netflix. I wrote a little, too. But, that’s pretty much it. What about you, darling?”

Alec ignores the question, instead obviously looking over the short stack of paper clipped together on Magnus’s side of the table. He juts his chin in its direction. “What’s that? Whatever you’re writing?”

Magnus reaches over and grabs the paper, flashing the first page before putting it back in his briefcase. “It is,” he confirms. “This is the latest chapter of my work-in-progress.”

“You’re writing a book?”

Magnus grins. “No need to sound so incredulous, Alexander. You know how it is in the academic world: publish or perish. I’m pleased to report that I’m far from perishing. This will be my fourth complete book, disregarding any journals or anthologies I’ve contributed to.”

Alec whistles. “Damn, I’ll admit I’m impressed. I knew you were a big deal but you’re even better than I thought. How old are you?”

Magnus arches a brow. “I’ll be thirty in December.”

“All that hard work is definitely paying off.”

“You’re telling me, darling. I freely admit that I work my ass off to keep on top of things. It’s exhausting but I do love it.”

“It’s easy to tell. What’s your book about?”

Magnus opens his mouth to answer but closes it as Jasmine comes back over with their drinks. She sets them down, tosses a couple of straws onto the table, and leaves without a word.

He picks back up.

“While I’m chair of the history department, my specialty is European imperialism. This latest book explores the consequences of their imperialist tendencies during WWI. I’m focusing on a handful of countries and their colonies in the few decades leading up to the war and following their projected paths during the war and into the aftermath. It’s actually fascinating because even most scholars don’t take into account how certain colonized lands and people-- take, for instance, the whole of India-- contributed to--

“Sorry,” Magnus breaks off, wincing a little. “I get a little carried away.”

Alec is looking at him with wide and attentive eyes, though, not with the dazed and confused expression that Magnus was expecting.

“No worries,” he says. “It’s obvious that you’re passionate about the topic and I love learning about this kind of stuff. Especially when I have such a knowledgeable teacher.”

Alec grins and Magnus is getting ready to finish his spiel-- he’ll give the high notes so he doesn’t really bore Alec-- when their food arrives.

Jasmine sets down their plates, heaping with food, and it smells delicious. Magnus’s stomach growls a little and he looks over to where Alec is holding back a laugh.

“Shut up,” he gets out, laughing. “I didn’t even have time for coffee this morning and I’ve had a full slate. I’m a little hungry.”

Alec raises his hands, surrendering. “I didn’t say anything! I’m hungry, myself. I might just inhale this burger.”

Magnus waits for Alec to take his first bite of food. While this was Magnus’s pick, he wanted to wait and make sure that Alec likes the food. He watches as Alec picks up his burger, sees the admiring look he gives it, before diving in and taking a frankly huge ass bite.

Mouth half full, Alec hums, swallowing before saying, “Holy shit, this is delicious.”

Magnus smiles as he starts in on his own plate. “This is a restaurant on a college campus. They specialize in delicious. There’s too many busy students looking for greasy food to have anything else. You should see this place at two in the morning. It's packed with wasted twenty two year olds.”

Alec laughs and the next few minutes are spent in silence as both of them eat.

Their plates are over halfway clean when the conversation picks back up.

“What’s been keeping you busy since we last spoke, darling?”

Alec takes a quick drink of his tea before replying. He shrugs.

“Nothing, really. Simon put me on a forced work vacation so I haven’t been allowed to go into the studio since last week. He gave me shit about being too frustrated to get over the writer’s block and I couldn’t see what it could hurt, so I’ve just been. . . relaxing. I’ve been working out and spending some time with my family, spending more time than I should on Netflix.”

“Do you think the break is working?”

Alec shrugs again, this time looking a little less unsure. “It’s hard to say. I haven’t been hit with sudden inspiration but I also don’t want to rip my songbook to shreds, so that’s probably progress. Regardless, I have a writing session tomorrow with another artist so let’s hope something works out.”

Magnus is intrigued. While he knows that Alec writes most of his songs, he never really thought about him working with other musicians.

“Anyone I know,” he asks.

Alec looks like he’s about to tell him before he shuts his mouth. “I actually can’t tell you who it is,” he says sheepishly. “I don’t know if they want their name out there and sessions are usually confidential unless both writers agree to make it public.” He rushes to add on, “I’m not trying to be secretive or keep things from you, it’s just that--”

“It’s okay, Alexander,” Magnus breaks in. “I completely understand. I have a friend who’s a performer and she’s constantly going on about the need to keep things quiet. No one wants to spoil their source material.”

Alec sighs, relaxes against the back of the booth in relief. “Yeah. You get it. Thanks for understanding, Magnus.”

“Of course, darling. Think nothing of it.”

They finish their lunch, talking about random topics. It strikes Magnus, not for the first time, that he’s comfortable with Alec. They’ve known each other less than a month but everything feels so natural. They can talk and joke and enjoy the quiet without it becoming awkward or unsettling.

They just seem to fit together and Magnus doesn’t think that it’s just his imagination.

Alec is in the middle of a story about his time in Greece-- they’ve both been there and love it-- when Jasmine comes over to clear the table.

“Do you guys want to see a dessert menu?”

Alec and Magnus look at each other for a second before Alec’s nodding. “Yes, please,” he says, turning up to address her.

It’s just a minute later that they’re both looking over the half a dozen options.

“Are you getting anything?”

Alec hums before setting the menu to the side. “I think I’m gonna go with a hot fudge sundae.”

He looks at Magnus, eyes laughing and smile curling on his lips. “I have a bit of a sweet tooth.”

Magnus raises a brow. “I never would’ve guessed,” Magnus says, teasing.

Alec huffs out a laugh. “What about you? Anything strike your fancy?”

Magnus smiles at the phrase, but answers nonetheless. “Their apple pie is usually amazing, so I think I’ll have a slice of that.”

The waitress comes over and takes their order, bringing their dessert within just a few minutes.

With the first bite of his ice cream, Alec moans, just a little. It sets Magnus on edge more than it should.

“Goddamn, this is amazing,” Alec breathes. “This has to be homemade hot fudge.”

“I couldn’t say, darling, but I’m glad you’re enjoying it.

Magnus eats his pie and the conversation picks back up, with both of them talking about their favorite travel spots.

He’s just swallowed his last bite of apple pie when Alec startles him. Seemingly without thinking, Alec reaches over and swipes his thumb across the corner of Magnus’s mouth. He immediately brings his thumb up, sucking the small bit of pie filling into his own mouth.

It takes a second, but when it registers what he’s just done, Alec flushes a little.

Magnus feels like his mind has just fallen offline. His own mouth is dry at the sight he just witnessed. Alec wasn’t even trying but Magnus feels heat lick up his spine, turning warm at just the thought. It’s crass, but he can’t help but imagine what Alec would look like, mouth swallowing otherthings.

Magnus needs to calm down.

“Sorry,” Alec says. “It’s just, you had something there--” he gestures towards Magnus’s mouth, eyes a little intense, “-- and it was just automatic. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything.”

Magnus swallows harshly, reaches for his tea blindly and takes a deep drink. “No worries, darling. You didn’t make me uncomfortable at all.”

Alec smiles, relieved, before Jasmine is standing in front of them with the check. Alec reaches out but Magnus is faster, snagging the bill before reaching for his wallet.

“I can totally get that Magnus. It’s no problem.”

Magnus waves the offer away. “Don’t worry about it; I’ve got it. Besides, you paid for ice cream last week. It’s only fair that I get lunch.”

He hands his card to Jasmine. As she walks away, he fiddles with his ear cuff. “Maybe I’ll let you get the next meal.”

Alec smiles, just a little, and the two of them stare into each other’s eyes for a minute. It’s just the two of them-- the newspaper woman had long since left-- and it feels like they’re in their own little world.

Until the waitress comes back with the receipt.

Magnus clears his throat as he looks down and scrawls his signature on the restaurant's copy, leaving a generous tip for Jasmine.

Magnus and Alec give their thanks before standing up. They stroll over to the door, Alec reaching it first and holding it open for Magnus to step through.

They linger on the sidewalk for a minute before Alec turns to face him fully. He quirks a brow, grinning, before asking, “So, you’re a fan?”

All of a sudden, Magnus remembers the less-than-ideal start their lunch date had and he snorts even as he feels warmth climb up the back of his neck.

“As you know, Alexander, you’re very well known. It’s to be expected that I would know a few of your songs.”

“Yeah, but I believe your friend said you talk about me?”

“Fishing for compliments, darling?”

Alec shrugs. “I just didn’t know you were so into me.”

His eyes widen as he realizes what he just said. “Professionally! I didn’t realize you liked me so much as a singer. I knew you recognized me in that diner that night but I thought it was just idle knowledge.”

It’s Magnus’s turn to shrug. Suddenly, it doesn’t seem like a disastrous idea if Alec knows his interest in his music is a little more than. . . casual.

“Okay, I’m a pretty big fan of your music,” Magnus admits. “I might own every album you’ve released.”

Alec’s smile grows wider before he’s laughing. He takes a step closer and Magnus is overtly aware of just how much space is between them.

"It’s good to know that you like my music. I do work hard, you know.”

“I know,” Magnus says, voice just above a whisper as he shuffles his feet just a little, closing the distance just a little more.

Magnus feels the tension, which is absurd, but here he is and here they are. Just a few feet away. He repeats that they’re just friends but he can’t deny, at least to himself, that he wants Alec to close that distance.

Alas, Alec clears his throat before stepping back and breaking whatever spell just came over them.

“Thanks for lunch, Magnus.” Alec’s smiling, looking open and happy.

Magnus returns that smile. “Thank you for accepting my invitation, Alexander. I had a great time as always.”

“Me too.”

There’s a pause as neither one makes a move to leave before Alec’s tilting his head towards the block past Magnus.

“Sorry, but I said I’d meet my sister at a store a few blocks over.”

He looks apologetic and Magnus waves the tone away.

“Of course, I have to get back to my office anyway. I have a few things I need to finish before my next class.”

Alec nods before smiling at Magnus. “I can’t wait to see you again. Have a great day, Magnus.”

“Right back at you, darling. I hope your writing session is productive tomorrow,” is Magnus’s reply and a moment later Alec is on his way.

He moves to walk past Magnus and their hands graze each other for a second that seems to last much longer.

It’s just a simple hand touch, not even the most intimate thing they’ve done today but Magnus can’t repress his shiver.

He’s hyper aware of where they just touched and it sends a little jolt through him. Alec continues on down the block, looking like he doesn’t even realize, and Magnus watches him walk away.

After a moment he turns back around and starting making his way towards his office, sighing a little.

He’s really enjoying his time with Alexander. He thinks it’s obvious that they could be great friends. They might be at that point already.

More fool him for wanting more.

[writtenpresents-not-blog]

Jefferson’s Tea

Title: Jefferson’s Tea |Sebastian Stan x Reader|

Description: You were doing a scene with Sebastian Stan for Once Upon A Time. They wanted you to play a filler character in case they needed more footage for the shows episode. During the scene with the Mad Hatter, he gave you some tea that was supposed to knock you out.

Warnings: A few curse words, Poor Writing, Drugged, It was written on my phone so if there are any typos or something doesn’t seem to make sense sorry I tried catching them.

Authors Note: Lately I have had this thing for Sebastian and thought it’d be nice to make a story for him. I absolutely LOVE Jefferson from Once so I thought I’d make something involving him. This scene was perfect if you ask me, whether I delivered a good story or not is beyond me but I loved my idea so hopefully you enjoy reading. { Sequel }

Words: 2,199

Other: On Wattpad

"Okay [Y/n], how about you not fall on the floor this time? Okay? We good? Kay, so we'll go ahead and start this back where you are given the tea and start to look at the piano once more." The director said with a small laugh when they asked you not to fall on the floor after you are placed on the couch. In your defense it wasn't your fault, but hey what can one more take of this scene do? "Okay, I think I can do this." You reply shaking you head slightly as they replace the cup and a few other things. Walking towards the mantle you place your hands on the wood and glance down thinking of your lines. Shaking your head. This was only the twentieth time you had to do this scene, or so you felt. The co-star in this scene was walking passed you to get back out of the shot. You give a small laugh and look towards him. "Sorry Sebastian, I'm sure you are really tired of doing this scene." You tell him over your shoulder. He presents you with a small smile and shakes his head. "It's fine, I don't mind catching you when you fall." He winked chuckling before walking off set and to the corner. A small smile appeared on your face before trying to go back to thinking of your lines. This scene was a scene they wanted to add because it is a scene that shows Jefferson playing around with the proper drug that will make people fall asleep that way when he went and stole Emma he'd be able to make her do as he wanted after he knocked her out. Of course so far you couldn't exactly present this scene the best, honestly you doubt it'd be used. All of the other scenes shot before were so much better than this one that is with your character. It would have been better for you to stay behind the scenes rather than giving you a character to work with in the show, at least in your opinion. This character, as far as you were aware, would never even be used in another episode. They wanted to make sure they had enough footage to play around with making this show last as long as it needed to. "Okay, and we are ready?" The director asked. You gave a nod and assumed Sebastian did as well since they continued "lights?" There was a small pause before they then asked "camera?" Once again a slight pause before they conclude "Okay and... action." "I thought you could try this one now?" You glance towards Sebastian and look to the tray before walking away from the mantle. "How many more teas can you possibly have?" You asked tired of trying tea after tea. In real life it was the same type of tea but in this scene it was probably your millionth tea that day. "I have as many as it takes to get the correct flavor." Sebastian as Jefferson said pouring the tea into the cup before looking up at you giving a small smile as he offers the cup. "And since you are so great with flavors in tea I figured you'd be the best to be a taste tester." He adds as your hand takes the cup. "Okay but this is the last time. I think all this tea is making me a bit sick." You take a sip before walking towards the piano.  Instantly you taste something strange but shake it off and continue with the scene as if maybe all of this was just going to your head. "Oh is it?" He sounded as if he was hurt and you quickly jumped to your line like you were told to the first time you took this scene. "Oh I'm sure it's nothing involving the flavor, it's just probably because of how many I have had over the course of an hour." You send him a smile over your shoulder before looking back at the piano and then the cup. Taking the last two drinks you were suddenly hit with this horrible dizzy spell. "That's unusual." You say quietly taking a few steps back and feeling your breathing pick up slightly. "Is something wrong?" asked looking at you with some concern but not much. "Th-the room is... is spinning." You say quietly grabbing the mantle with one hand swaying slightly. Confusion filled your face as you began feeling even more drowsy. Trying to stand straight you gripped the mantle as best you could but only felt yourself falling back faster. Just when you thought you'd find yourself fall to the ground, with your mind hazy, you hit something solid. "Somethings wrong." You breath out half here, half somewhere else. Looking towards Sebastian he began to lead you back to the couch that you had fallen so many times on. "Everything's going to be alright [C/n]. It'll all be alright." He quoted before laying you softly on the soft material. You were breathing hard and trying to stay awake. "Se... Seb..." You tried but it only came out in huffs and didn't sound like anything at all. "Seb... Seb.." You repeat and repeated shutting your eyes against your will. Trying to open your eyes more only made them shut right as soon as you did. Eventually they just stopped opening and felt yourself falling into an endless void of black. The last feeling you had was of the heavy cup falling from your hand making all your sensations completely numb and non-existent. "Cut." The director said before going to the camera and looking at the play back. Sebastian brows pinched together seeing you not move and walked towards you concerned. "[Y/n]?" He asked softly. He knelt down and examined your face lightly touching it before he shook you from you shoulders. "[Y/n]? Hey. The shoots over. We finished. You can wake up now you know?" He tried laughing a little nervously. When you made no attempt to respond let alone more he felt his heart beating faster. "[Y/n]?" He shook harder but staying gentle as to not hurt you. Moving his hand under your head he lifted it up trying to get a better look at you. "Oh no. Oh no." He repeated several times. He placed your head back down and moved to check your pulse. "Shit." He cursed feeling just how weak it was. "We need a DOCTOR. SHE ISN'T WAKING UP." he yelled getting up to his feet rushing off set to get his phone to dial for an ambulance. ~Time skip~ Your eyes began to flutter open finally waking up from whatever slumber you had been placed under. Remaining still for a few more minutes you listen to the heart monitor beeping to your hearts beat before suddenly jolting forward. "Sebastian." You say as loud as your voice would allow before shoving yourself off the bed. Your feet felt the cold ground fine, however your first step was your last. The moment your weight rested on a single leg you fell forwards to the floor. "[Y/n]." Someone said with worry before rushing towards you body on the floor. You worked to sit on your knees a bit shocked you couldn't walk normal. Glancing towards the person who was crouched next to you. "Sebastian." Your heart pounded faster by the second. "What happened? Where am I?" You're eyes widened at the sight of your hand with an iv in it. Normally you wouldn't be freaking out but you don't know what happened. "It's okay. You're okay. Just calm down okay?" Sebastian said a bit worried that you had fallen down. He grabbed your arm and slowly helped you up. "Come on let's get you back in bed." You backed up and got back on the bed slowly with his help the whole time. You're eyes looked at everything but him. "Why.. why am I here?" A sigh escaped Sebastian’s lips as he lowered you back to where you were laying back down. "[Y/n] What do you remember last?" He asked quietly looking at you. "I... I remember... I remember you and.. ugh" you shut your eyes and placed a hand on your head wishing that you could just remember what exactly happened. "I... I don't know... there was.. there was a-a couch... the.. uh." "Hey. Hey it's okay. You're okay now. Just breath." Sebastian said softly taking the hand that wasn't on you head in his own. "We were doing the tea scene. Remember?" You're eyes looked in his and you took a deep breath before nodding. "The tea scene. And I kept falling on the floor." You remembered. "And we did one more take. The tea..." You stopped and were looking at your legs with wide eyes. "The tea was... it had a weird taste to it... it was different than those before it." Sebastian nodded his head holding you hand gently before kissing it softly. "Yeah. It uh turned to have been different." "I... I could have died." You said before  sitting up and moving your hand to your throat. "Well, you didn't drink enough of it to do that but if it didn't affect you the way it did then possibly." Sebastian said letting go of your hand and looking at your legs. "They said if you woke up then in the morning you would be able to go home but they were going to keep you over night as they got to the bottom of it." "You've been here the whole time?" "About seven hours, but yeah almost the whole time." "How long have I been here? What time is it?" "It's about midnight. You came in at 4 I was able to come in and watch over you almost an hour after that when they let visitors in." He confirmed. His hand ghosted over your bare leg. "You can feel your legs right?" You swallowed hard watching his hand move down your leg barely touching your skin. "I can feel that if that's what you're asking." You tell him. He went from one side to the other giving the same treatment to it. "Why did you yell out my name earlier?" He asked sounding a bit spaced out. "You were the last thing I remembered. I just... I don't know... though of you." You reply feeling your face heat up slightly. Out of no where you felt him move his hand to the bottom of your foot and tickle it slightly. You jump and move your foot instantly and press it against the mattress glaring at him. "Don't do that." A smile appeared over his face as a chuckle escaped into the room. "I was just checking to see if they worked. After you fell I was worried." He said. Slowly the small smile that was there disappeared. "[Y/n], I'm sorry. This is all my fault. I should have known something was up." "You weren't the one who spiked the drink." You clarified. "But I was the one who gave it to you." He countered. "I was the one who kept the act of Jefferson while you were clearly not acting at all. I thought you were just trying to make it more natural for you. I guess I was right but it wasn't acting at all. I'm sorry." He hung his head low. "Sebastian." You reply quietly. Your hand making it's way to his cheek. Rubbing it lightly you give a smile. "Hey look at me." He slowly did as you requested. "Don't beat yourself up over it, 'kay? You didn't know." "But I should have." "No one else knew, so how could you have?" "I don't know." He replied with a shrug. His hand found your wrist and held it gently. "I'm sorry [Y/n]. I really am." He kissed the inside of your wrist before kissing the palm of your hand. "I forgive you Sebastian, but I still don't think you did anything to cause this." You smiled. "I love you." He whispered. You weren't sure what he had said before his lips were suddenly on yours. Your heart began to beat faster before you began to kiss him back. One of his hands rested on your hip while the other moved to cradle the side of your head keeping you close to him. Your hand remains at his cheek, as the kiss deepened you tried to move your other hand to get you closer only to find resistance. Pulling away from it you instantly regretted it because the moment you had pulled the restraint away the heart monitor went flat with a loud singular beep, startling both you and Sebastian causing you both to part from the kiss and glance towards the monitor. Making the first move you began looking for the little clip that would sit on your index finger to register the pulse. "Shit." You curse before finally finding it and placing it on your finger just as someone runs in. "What happened?" They asked panicked watching you and Sebastian. "Sorry, it got caught and I accidentally pulled it off." You admit blushing looking towards the side. "Oh. Okay. Well try not to do it again." You give a nod and watch as they walk away.