#Girl! Henry wlw AU

[wonyui]

𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐊𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 | 𝐘.𝐉𝐌

SUMMARY If it hadn't been for the mischievous game that you came up with, then maybe just maybe — Karina would have been able to keep her mouth shut about the crush she had on you for years. Especially since the two of you were supposed to enjoy your time, walking on the long beach at night as nothing but friends.

Pairings: Yoo!Jimin x F!Reader

Genre: wlw, fluff, 6th!member au, she fell first and she fell harder trope

A/N: STAYC GIRLS.. IT'S GOING DOWN ‼️(this is my apology for deleting the Newjeans series. Feel free to send requests if you want, so I don't feel guilty)

WORD COUNT 3.1K

Karina had been struggling, clearly — judging from the way she had been sighing nonstop the whole day with a frustrated look on her face. She was your best friend(along with your very best roommate, but you weren't gonna admit that), so you thought it'd be kind to come up with the idea of just strolling and chatting. Location? The beach just a couple walks away.

Plus, you low-key needed an excuse to get away from the rest of your chaotic members. Thank god time has been so kind to the both of us. You thought. Karina, of course, took notice of the way you had been staring at her so intently. The young leader felt more panicked than worried. Did you possibly figure out why she had been acting differently? She hoped not.

"Jimin?"

Great. She walks over to you, biting her lips out of habit due to the nervousness that she had been feeling the entire day.

"Yeah?" She asks, hoping you had a different question from what she had in mind.

"Up to filling up your storage?" You ask, smiling sheepishly, before putting the Polaroid camera up in the air whilst waving it like it was some sort of flag.

Blinking in confusion, she tilts her head. "I'm sorry? I mean, yeah— but where exactly are we going with this?" Winter enters the frame, shoving Karina while doing so as an attempt to not question your motives. It's clear you want to spend some time alone elsewhere. Everyone in the room knew that. Everyone except Karina.

"I was thinking we could stroll together since it seems our muscles are tightening," you thoughtfully said before adding on, "Are you down? You seemed to have quite a lot on your plate."

"What about our manager? Does the company know?" Karina unintentionally asked, her nervousness building up more than her worries.

An amused chuckle was all she needed to hear for her worries to disappear. Although her nervousness changed into butterflies that freely flew in her stomach. "We'll be fine, Jimin. I've been in this industry for enough years, too. Trust me."

Ningning, who had been on her phone, scrolling endlessly while laying her head on Giselle's shoulders, finally looked up to see the both of you putting on your shoes and coats. "Stay safe. Beware of the stalkers.. and what not," She jokingly warned, adding effects to her voice by deepening it, "we don't know who could be roaming around.." She continued. Winter took a seat right beside the two, slapping Ningning on the thigh for her horrible attempt on scaring the two of you, "Ghosts aren't real idiot."

"Hey now," Ningning shrugged before eyeing the lead vocalist up and down, "You're breathing. That's enough evidence."

A slap landing on her thigh harder than last time was all Ningning to immediately apologize and shut up. Winter smiled in satisfaction as Giselle ignored the two, switching the channel every now and then to find something that she'd actually enjoy.

"We'll be gone for a few." Karina stated, as if the rest of them hadn't been listening to your conversation the entire time.

"Have fun!"

"We'll try not to burn the house down."

"I'll keep an eye on the both of them."

—

"What made you suddenly have the need for fresh air?" Karina jokingly asked, finally easing up.

The two of you had been currently making your way to the beach, hand-in-hand with your masks and hoodie covering your faces very well so not a single soul could tell it was the two of you. You shivered, wanting to answer, but failing because of how cold it had gotten all of a sudden. L.A. air is seriously no joke. Karina skillfully took notice of this as if it was on the back of her mind, taking one of your hands and letting it slip into the hole of her coat. The other hand? She had been holding onto it still, hoping her own warmth would provide you with warmth.

"Thanks.." You muttered, feeling more assured knowing your hand wouldn't fall off from the numbness, "and I figured the two of us could enjoy it. Free stress life."

You're so caring. And I find that annoying.

"I'm certainly enjoying it." She mumbled. "Sorry?"

Her cheeks reddened, too embarrassed to even utter out another reply. You thought it was cute, giggling at the way she still managed to act awkward despite the two of you knowing each other ever since your predebut years. For Karina, the moment you had giggled at her awkwardness, it reminded her as to why she even caught feelings in the first place.

"Do you want to get drinks? You can pay." Are you seriously gonna make a girl pay after asking to get drinks?

You scrunched your nose, thinking of something else to say so it'd be a perfect cherry on top. "We can call it a date."

Because it's working and Karina doesn't mind.

"Okay—" Pause. "—but only because I'm feeling nice and not because you added the date part."

"You're cute, Jimin, but it's a friendly date. You have nothing to worry about." Oh. It was absolutely wrong to even have the high hopes that you were referring to something else. "I'm joking. You're literally buying us drinks, and we're about to take a whole walk on the beach at night."

She begins to tense.

"Tell me," you begin, "what friendly dates involve these things anyway? Can you believe how dense some people are?" It was certainly aimed. The way you had been staring pointedly at her with no emotion to share made her feel small. As if you were trying to hint at something.

Karina actually thought about it for a few seconds before you stopped her — huffing and puffing at the fact that she had actually thought about it. Just how dense can this girl be? You knew of the feelings she harbored for you, but a miracle would have to happen for her to actually confess her feelings.

You were sulking. Sulking hard.

"We're almost there. What drink do you want?" She had been so considerate to ask.

Though she already knew what you wanted.

"The same drink I've been getting since predebut days thank you very much." You answered, slightly raising your eyebrows. "They should have that here. It's almost everywhere."

"Right.." She chuckled, taking out her card to pay.

—

"I didn't think the beach would need a couple more miles to reach wow." You sighed in exhaustion before taking a long sip of your drink in hopes of getting energy from it.

"Eh. We're really not far away.." Karina squinted her eyes, acting as if it'll help with zooming in more. "Yeah, we're dead close."

She had been correct. The beach wasn't too far, and you could smell the salty air already. Though it kinda creeped you out, growing up at the thought of meeting some sort of siren that could possibly lure you into the ocean and drown you. Odd fear, but everyone must have had this sort of thought growing up.

"Did you seriously have to get ice cream, though?" You, for some reason, warily eyed the ice cream cone in her hand.

Karina pursed her lips into a thin line, unsure of how she should reply to that. "Um, yes? It's tasty."

"It's not that. It's the fact that you're a messy eater when it comes to ice cream." You stated, gesturing for her to wipe the bits of ice cream on her chin for her to miss it horribly.

Annoyed, you decide to do it for her yourself. "Uh.." Karina goes breathless, "thank you. But I could have done it myself?" It was more of a question than whatever she was trying to prove, showing that she could have not.

Finally reaching the sandy beach, the two of you admired the small waves that would form every now and then. You took out the Polaroid camera, feeling somewhat proud that you didn't forget it. Karina continued to admire the view, noticing how the sky painted itself onto the sea.

If anything, what she had been currently looking at couldn't compare to you. The way your hair swayed the same motion as the wind. The way you laughed at her jokes despite them all being unfunny — at least that was what she thought. Nothing could certainly beat the way you managed to come around like autumn, making her fall every time.

You were honestly captivating.

"So, what do you think?" You snapped her out of her own thoughts. Shit.

"It's pretty." She admitted.

"Really?" You tilted your head out of habit. "I think it's more than pretty."

You paused. Trying to find the right words to describe how beautiful it looked. Especially since the lights added onto the whole thing, making it the perfect cherry on top. "Ethereal?"

This time, she looked away to look at you. Hinting that the word wasn't aimed at the sea, but at you.

"Yeah.." You trailed off. "Yeah. Ethereal."

"Wow, the stars look pretty." You aimed the camera at the night sky, hoping you'd get a good shot.

Karina simply nodded, waiting for you to put the camera down to at least look her way. Because even if the sky managed to hold that amount of stars in its possession, it certainly couldn't beat the ones in your eyes that had always been on display oh so effortlessy.

"Random. But are you up for a game?" Your tone sounded mischievous, causing her to silently gulp. "List the things you like, and then list the things you don't."

She frowned, not understanding why you would even want her to do such a thing but because you said so. She will do so.

"I like uh, food. Shopping. Green tea. Animals. Mint chocolate. Pineapple pizza." She added the basics of what she liked before pausing a bit, "I dislike—"

"I don't see me on that list. I'm truly disappointed." You fake sighed.

Were you messing with her? Karina couldn't tell, but she swore she could somehow see a smirk forming under all that fake disappointed sadness.

"But.. I like you too." She found herself blushing at that statement — cursing herself mentally for not wording it correctly. "I meant I like you too, with the list of things I like. But you're not a thing! Don't get me wrong. And I mean it in a platonic way. Because that's what we are. Basically pla—" you stopped her by putting your index finger over her mouth, smiling so fondly at her, "Jimin, I know what you mean. Although it's sad because I like you too, definitely not platonically."

Silence crept up, and she couldn't find the right words to reply to that. She was happy, more than happy, actually. You obviously were waiting for any sort of reaction, but all you could find was a shocked look that could probably stay on her face forever if she could.

"Say cheese." A camera click stopped her from processing at the thought of you liking her back.

She was confused at that moment.

"Wait, do you like me or not?"

It was an obvious answer. Did she think you were playing with her? Probably. You literally took a picture of her, catching her even more off guard. She felt perplexed. Very unsure of whatever message you were trying to send her way.

You pretended to ignore her, humming whilst continuing to walk as if what you said earlier didn't affect her a big amount. She was down bad, and she wanted actual answers from you even if it meant making you repeat it. Evil. That was what she had been repeating endlessly in her mind while staring at that pretty smile of yours. Asshole. I hate that I let you get away with such things.

Karina continued to walk along too — behind you this time. She was tempted to whisk you away in order to get her questions answered. You stopped your place, waiting for the clueless latter to catch up. Karina did eventually — still questioning your motives.

"I said what I said," you grinned from ear to ear. "I like you too."

"How?" She asked, still feeling dumbfounded.

You knew she was leaning towards the question of how you even knew instead of when you harbored the same mutual feelings for her.

"It was obvious." A lie.

Truth be told, you were as clueless as her. That was until the day Ningning and her big mouth spilled the young leaders secret by asking whether you liked her back or not.

"You were just too obvious with it." Another lie.

It felt wrong to feel, but she still couldn't tell whether you were lying to her face or not. She wanted reassurance. Anything.

"You don't seem to believe me." You pointed out.

"That's right," Karina bravely admitted, "Unless you have something that could prove that you do — in fact — like me back."

The teasing tone in your voice made her wanna cave in. "How smooth. Really. If you wanted a kiss, then you could have said so."

"What? I don't—" Not even halfway through to finish her words, you cut her off by taking your mask off and kissing her right on the lips that had been attracting you the entire night. It's almost like a moth to a flame.

Karina's eyes widened, eventually melting towards the kiss afterward. It was good that nobody had been around because the two of you would have gotten in big trouble if a paparazzi or fan caught the both of you, sharing each other's first kiss under the moonlight.

Finding your hands during the kiss — Karina finds herself smiling against your lips as soon as she successfully interlocks her own hand with yours. Pulling away, you looked for any sort of reaction. She was cute. The way she had been currently covering her face, trying not to show how giddy she had felt from that single kiss, made your knees feel weak.

"Was that enough proof?" You had the audacity to ask after fulfilling her lifelong dream.

"Are you even real?"

You laughed at how serious she sounded. If anything, she should be asking herself that. Karina held such a strong aura that intimated other people around her. That was your first impression of her. Now, in your very own eyes, she looked as though she could be related to a puppy.

Deciding to call it a night, the two of you made it back to your dorm, unsure of the reaction from the other members if they had found out that the two of you were something more than just friends. Karina wasn't nervous, rather annoyed, already imagining how badly they were gonna tease her.

"We should keep it a secret for a bit. You softly muttered to her, already reading her mind. "We know we can't survive their teasing. Plus, they'll find out eventually."

"Secret? What secret is there to keep?" She grinned, expecting a smart reply from you.

"Haha. Funny." You deadpanned, realizing that the two of you didn't really make it official other than kissing each other. Did the kiss count? You sure hoped so.

Karina noticed the frown on your face, half smiling and sighing. "I get it. We're now uh.. girlfriends?" She tried not to stumble over her words, ears reddening. "You're so smooth." You giggled, which sounded like music to her ears. "I'll have you know this is my first relationship. Be supportive of that thought." "I don't think I will." "Seriously? You're already a bad girlfriend."

"And it's the first few minutes to our relationship and you're already annoying." You snorted, obviously joking.

Okay. Wow. How romantic.

Karina jokingly scoffed, "You're joking."

Not a reply after that, the wind being the only kind thing that somehow replied.

"You're joking."

Ignoring her words that were meant to convince the opposite of what you had just told her, you continued to fasten your pace, Karina following behind at an even more faster pace. Though she kept trying to convince you to answer(a proper one at that) her back. Forgetting her own words the moment she saw how perfect the moonlight illuminated your face, she had been left breathless.

"You're quiet all of a sudden." Jeez. Thanks captain obvious I certainly didn't know that.

"Yeah," She nodded, biting her lips, "yeah I guess I can see why those other male idols are always staring."

A fake frown formed. "You guess?"

"Don't start." Karina rolled her eyes, smiling uncontrollably afterward.

You mockingly did the same, "Okay, I won't."

"Just to be clear you're the annoying one."

"I am not afraid to break up what lasted a few minutes."

"I take it back."

—

"So? How did it turn out?" Winter asked, seemingly to have waited the entire time with that question in her mind.

You were the first to put down the already unnecessary items, along with your shoes so you were given no other chance but to reply. "Fine. Just two friends enjoying each other's company."

Since Karina's back had been facing all of you, she rolled her eyes, cringing at the word "friends". Ningning appeared out of nowhere with marshmallow stuffed in her mouth, resembling a chipmunk.

"How'd ittt gooaoao?" She asked, basically speaking nonsense from her already stuffed mouth.

Giselle appeared after, judging the younger latter with no remorse. "Don't speak with your mouth open."

"Daunt speek with yourr mowth open." Ningning mocked, swallowing all of it in one go. "I am officially a legend."

Karina sighed, "We'll be in our room if you need us. Which if you do, we'll be ignoring you." It was almost obvious. We? They all raised their brows at her statement, suspicious as to what she meant by that. "What she meant was that we're both TIRED from walking. My feet feels wobbly." You tried to save yourself, to which they nodded in acknowledgment to because you were a great liar.

"Giselle, you're in charge. Again. Don't let them near the stove."

Winter and Ningning frowned in annoyance, wondering why they even needed someone in charge knowing damn well that they were the reason for why the last dorm had fire almost everywhere. Giselle nodded, eyeing the two odd pair in a judgemental way.

Heading upstairs, Karina followed from behind. Winter and Ningning glanced at each other before sighing in disappointment.

"I win." Giselle proudly stated, taking her hand out for the money that they promised to give if she won the bet.

The two groaned before doing so, handing over their hard-earned money to the older latter. It was bad to place their bets on the two of you but it was the funny-entertainment kind. Nobody would pass up on that opportunity. Obviously — for the fun of it.

"I still can't believe it." Ningning was the first to speak after handing her money.

"Right I expected the both of them to at least go on like this for at least another few years."

"You think too low of them."

"When it comes to stuff like this? Yes we do."

[aclockmaker]

any day can be WIP Wednesday if you believe in yourself. sequel to heavy melodies (modern au/wlw steddie). thinking about what Steve’s relationship with Nancy is like if they’re both girls

“Pause,” Nancy says, “did we decide on a movie?”

“Well, as a video store employee,” Robin starts.

“No,” Nancy says, having already litigated this debate in the group chat. “I am not watching Paddington 2.”

“Okay, but you are missing out,” Steve puts in. They play it in the store a lot.

“I’m with you,” Eddie assures Nancy.

“Thank you,” Nancy says, eyes big. “There are so many great movies out there. But honestly—well, it’s stupid.” She laughs self-consciously.

“No it’s not; what?” Robin says.

“Yeah—” Steve starts at the same time Eddie says, “No, tell us.”

What Nancy wanted, in fact, was something that would make her cry, and that’s why Steve is going to be forced to read subtitles when she should be barely paying attention. In truth, Steve agrees with her though—she feels like she could use a good cleansing cry and Aunt Lucy in Paddington isn’t going to cut it.

Eddie dives right for a spot on the floor and curls up against the couch. It doesn’t look uncomfortable, but— “We can all fit on the couch,” Steve offers, but Eddie waves it away.

The movie is French and gay and Steve does cry, drying her tears with the flannel blanket she’d pulled over herself. On the other side of the couch, Robin grabs tissue after tissue from the box next to her. Eddie just rests her head on her own shoulder for a moment as the credits start to roll—that’s all Steve can be sure of from where she’s sitting, right behind Eddie on the couch. Steve’d spent the whole movie trying not to accidentally touch her. She was so anxious that she’d ended up focusing extra hard on the movie and hadn’t even gotten bored halfway through like usual. But the guy, Henri, died, and he hadn’t even gotten to go back and fix any of his mistakes, and his friend would go on thinking that Henri didn’t care about him until the day he died, and the passage of time was inevitable and cruel…

“I fucking hate subtitles, Nancy, what the hell,” Steve says through tears and starts laughing toward the end of it. From the armchair, Nancy turns her face to Steve, brightly surprised and with wet, red eyes; blinks for a moment and then starts laughing too. For a second while they both wipe their eyes it’s like no time at all has passed between them, they’re still 17, still best friends.

The thought, sudden and electric—had Steve been more than friends with her? But even now, she doesn’t know. It still hurts, either way.

And then Eddie’s shifting in front of Steve and standing up to lean around Robin and grab a tissue from the box. She wipes her eyes and sniffs once. If she’d ever guessed, Steve probably would’ve said that Eddie wasn’t much of a crier, but she doesn’t really know where she got that idea. Eddie’s very—open, generally, with her emotions. Like, the other day when they’d—well. Afterwards, Eddie had said all that stuff to her—about how Steve was so sweet, and that being with her was amazing. But, some of that was probably just, like, the kind of things guys said after sex, sometimes. Things Steve understood they didn’t mean. Things she usually didn’t want them to mean.

Of course, Eddie isn’t a guy. And here she is, crying. If it was Robin, Steve wouldn’t have thought twice about the urge to hug her but she knows it’s different.

[slightlyhopefulromantic]

Wait if Glenn dies in this Au does Morgan go on trail ?! More importantly Mommy Jodie?!

OH ANON . YOUVE UNLOCKED MY TRAP CARD . yes! yes she does!! this is actually the part of the au i started with on tumblr, and its my FAVORITE part of this au (except for the lesbianisms XD), so im just gonna link you to that! though as a note, the designs are a lil out of date! except morgans. ive always known her. ill reiterate some of that here below, but ill try to be briefer LOL and also talk A Lot More about jodie/his and morgan's relationship in this au!

there is NOT a fifth mom. i did not particularly feel like making a wlw cop character. theres enough of those in the world, theres a reason why ive never genderbent jodie even though hes my baby girl. instead, i twisted the punishment so that jodie is still married to morgan! essentially, morgan is made to retroactively be married to a "safer" parent, who in this case, is jodie. hes as protective as she is but without the paranoia, he has a "safe" job (according to copaganda, at least, im not gonna go into a full spiel but Never Marry A Fucking Cop. please love yourself), hes an all around very cheerful and loving man who is very capable of keeping morgan and nicholas safe. the opposite of glenn, really, minus the cheerful and loving part.

(as a side note: jodie does quit the force in this au - on earth, while the moms are trapped in the forgotten realms, their missing persons case is waved off repeatedly by the police. jodie very strongly insists, a lot, on trying to push the case, but once the dads team up to try and save their wives, ala the moms in normal canon teaming up, henry just. goes on a whole rant many times about how cops dont actually care and it starts really settling in with jodie. so he quits the force to focus full time on helping their wives! post season 1, he works as a mall security guard and is pathetic about it <3 my wet cat)

morgan does not take this well, understandably. jodie does not take his loving wife suddenly not knowing him anymore very well, either! theyre both really fucking sad! i am like, seriously obsessed with their dynamic, theres so many different ways i could take it and i spin them in my head endlessly. currently, im very fond of them just like... trying to make it work? not necessarily as a couple, but as co-parents who are married. despite her apprehensions about everything jodie has going on, morgan finds him interesting and in a more sympathetic sense, feels for him in the sense that he lost his wife due to the timeline jump. jodie is just... in love with her. even though she isnt his morgan anymore, he still loves her, and hes willing to learn about this new her. even if she makes him really sad constantly. they settle into being like, weird half-friends, half-lovers, full-time parents to the world's silliest little guy (a deeply serious 13-year-old boy).

im not gonna draw anything new for this, but i will toss in a VERY ROUGH sketch i did a few days ago and sent to my dear friend cereal because i was thinking about them gfhjbdghdfj post-s1 morgan and jodie, you are sooo so funny to me

i will throw you a bone for mommy jodie, though. there in an au of this au where mercedes goes on trial instead, and so henry and jodie are gay married. jodie does count as a mom in that. hes a man mom. cereal is obsessed with it so i will likely draw out some stuff for that at some point LMAOOOO theyre so silly <3 jodie oak you mean everything to me actually

[the-teddy-bear-butch]

I’m posting Cyberpunk Ronance thoughts because it’s my blog and I can do what I want

I’m just, I know the game isn’t the best in the world, but god if the storyline didn’t break me, okay?

If you care about Cyberpunk spoilers (not including the show), do not read any further

I think there’s a lot of different ways this au could be played

I think Nancy being V makes good sense if you look at V’s characterization as this badass, ambitious person who ends up in a shitty situation but keeps fighting because it’s all she’s ever known. Bonus V and Nancy and GUNS and general badassery. In this version, perhaps Robin is Johnny—chaotic mess of a human who’s life went to shit, although I see her being less of an overall bastard. Robin in aviators? Robin in aviators. The banter between them with Robin literally stuck in Nancy’s head and apologizing over and over for literally being a sentient brain tumor? Kill me now. Bonus, Barb is Jackie, the good natured friend who helps Nancy and gets killed early on as a consequence of her and Nancy’s ambition. As much as my sad little heart loves angst, I like to think the ending could be twisted, like maybe they find Robin’s body so her engram can be put back into it and Nancy can survive. I just don’t want the ending to be sad, damnit. Panam could be Max maybe? Hmmm. Or maybe El.

I’m also fond of the idea of Robin as V, however, and it boils down to the V/Johnny relationship. Picture with me for a moment: Eddie as Johnny. He fits the bill too well. Bastard of a rocker boy who did drugs and has pretty hair. He gets stuck in the head of one Robin Buckley, and it’s instant wlw/mlm hostility (but it morphs into solidarity, I promise). In this version, I think Steve is heartbreakingly Jackie. Their personalities line up too well. Throwing a bone to the Steddies tho, Steve could be Kerry and all the Johnny/Kerry moments become Steddie. Then Barb could still be Jackie? Or Steve is Jackie and Barb is T-Bug, RIP. Who is Nancy, then? Well, I think Panam or Judy are both excellent options. Just think, Nancy Wheeler, the tech genius who reports and edits brain dances on the side, an ex member of the baddest girl gang in Night City, the Moxes? Sick. But! Nancy Wheeler, badass mercenary who strikes out from her clan on her own to follow ambition and independence, but eventually coming back as a leader. Tbh I’m leaning more the Judy route, as much as I love Panam. The underwater date? Nancy finally being vulnerable, showing Robin her flooded home? Memories of Mike—long since moved away—and her family? Nancy saving Robin from almost dying because of Eddie’s damn chip? Robin being so soft with her afterward? Nancy giving Robin her key? Also Nancy is a vengeful woman and the whole Clouds arc would be something she could do, I think—and Robin helps because ofc, it’s Nancy. THEY’RE GAY YOU’RE HONOR. And, because of course I’m choosing the ending where you leave with the nomads, Nancy leaves Night City with Robin, and she promises to help Robin find a cure (and they do because fuck you ambiguous game ending). I’m thinking this is the ideal scenario for me.

Or the above but it’s Eddie as Johnny, Nancy as V, Robin as Panam, I like that too.

Chrissy is undoubtedly Misty in any version, only she’s not dating the Jackie character because she’s a lesbian in my mind and you can pry that headcanon from my cold dead hands. Maybe Vickie is Victor (heh, Vic, same nickname) and they have a little tension going on with Chrissy’s Esoterica being right outside Vickie’s Clinic.

Maybe agent Owens as Takemura? Henry is Yorinobu, Brenner is Saburo. The female agent who’s name I can’t remember is Hanako. I feel like these all fit scary well.

Ofc Hopper is Saul, you can’t tell me he doesn’t fit that role damn near perfect. Most of the rest of the Hawkins crew are probably Aldecaldos as well. I’m thinking Jonathan is Mitch and Argyle could be Scorpion (I know that one is a bad fit but fight me on it, Jargyle boyfriends and also Scorpion/Argyle gets to live because it’s my au and I can do what I want). Thinking about El as Panam more now actually, her stubborn personality and whatnot. It’s vibes, okay? It’s 1 am, let me enjoy my brain worms.

Beyond who’s who: think about Nancy Wheeler with mantis blades. Need I say more? She’s a badass with a katana and throwing knives, and REALLY scary good at hacking. She has a professional cyberdeck and all the best tech. I think she’d be a Corpo background V. Don’t put her in hand to hand combat though, she is small and will get her shit wrecked.

But! Robin Buckley would have less tech. She doesn’t trust it—maybe she’s a conspiracy theorist, sue her. She’s a Nomad background V, and she is really good with bigger guns and weapons that require less finesse. I’m picturing her with a trusty baseball bat and a shotgun that she alternates between. When she does hack, it’s usually cameras and whatnot for stealth missions—but we all know she’s bad with coordination and most stealth missions turn into guns blazing missions. Oops?

[phoebehalliwell]

God a fun one for ya! What’s an interesting Next Gen, Main Timeline, and Dark Future AU that’s you’ve wanted to write but haven’t? Either because it’s crazy into crack territory or you don’t think anyone will care? I’ll start: What if instead of being transported to alt!2009 in Morality Bites the girls are transported to the Dark Future that Chris and Bianca are from! 😂 Love that new fic you wrote about Paige/Simon/Henry it’s the kinda content that I makes me glad I follow you ✨

i mean. see. that's difficult bc any normal person's answer would probably be haha u know pruejack like together for like what 8 episodes pruejack like he was really lame and pathetic pruejack well what if they had like kids you know like what if. what if they had identical twin sons haha ik it's crazy that's prolly just a me thing shan't write it but like. i did that already. so like. something being super outlandish has never really stopped me but i couple things that i do want to write but just haven't really gotten around to bc they're kind of you know. small potatoes. benchwarmers. D3. you know. is um

domesticatedcat!evil!wyatt in which evil!wyatt comes back to finish off chris but changes his mind he & chris both stay behind in the past (bianca too!) but the main focus on like. evil!wyatt you know getting a family and helping to raise mini him so on so forth still being like. real violent like when they're all like okay anyone got any ideas and wyatt's like ooh why don't we take the type of innocent the demon usually eats and like. snap their shins and leave em in an alleyway to lure the demons out then boom! attack<3 and everyone's like okay. anyone else got any ideas.

phoebe/leslie college fic set around s2 where like. idk you know how they are in a rivals to lovers type sense something like that. maybe he's going for his masters in psych or something she's just to get her bachelors something something blah blah blah

paige/jinny fic. canon divergent breaking off at like the final ten minutes of i dream of phoebe. i have a paige/jinny tag. in case ur wondering what that'd be like.

speaking of niche wlw ships..... melindaxoracle.

kinda wanna write a christy narrative of like. what life was actually like for her in the underworld i want it to be quite nice you know she is one of the most powerful beings i'd imagine they'd treat her as such i'd like for her to have lots of different relationships w demons like paternal/maternal, romantic, platonic, petty beefs. i also love the idea that she was p normal but just like. like you know how piper's like. demons attacking at the party, i can handle, but christy eating with her hands, i cannot handle. love the idea that christy was just doing that like. in the name of the bit. just to make the charmed one's lives a little worse

and then ones that i wanna write but haven't bc the ideas are simply. too big. too long.

dark future. omg don't even get me started. but like. i want focus on chris & bianca in the revolution i want exactly what wyatt's up to what makes him evil bc noah fence but he was a little boring in those ten minutes we got of him i want phoebe's kids as a power of three and i want the magical morrises up in this bitch henry jr's still there But Different kat and tam are still there But Enemies and while i don't think piper and leo would have a third kid in the dark future melinda will still be there (how? heheehehhehehe.....) (no i'll just tell you she's something of a golem.) (somewhere inbetween finn from size matters and vincent from a wrong day's journey into right and like also like. diana from wonder woman.)

prue & andy's kids. i think i'm getting slightly closer to a plot but like. it's still so far away nothing's concrete.

piperkyle. don't ask.

[neshabeingchildish]

Guess what I'm working on a chapter of...

@junknstu1f @henryharts @just-a-j-reallly @kiddangers @sunbeameyes

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

Responses from the Opera Screencaps Captioning Quiz

Hello, everyone, and thank you for taking my quiz! I had SO MUCH fun reading your captions-- there were several times I literally started crying from laughing so hard at the amazingness of your work! With that in mind, the captions (which I will continue to add onto as more people take it):

(also, thank you to @dichterfuerstin​ for translating the German captions I got)

originally taken from: the Wiener Staatsoper’s 2020 production of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s Die Entführung aus dem Serail, featuring Regula Mühlemann (center) as Blonde, Michael Laurenz (right) as Pedrillo, and an unnamed extra (left) as the Grim Reaper

Responses:

(Backstage warm-up) “ok so someone dropped the pulse”

me and my friends watching the fire burn after doing arson

Introducing the polycule to the parents

*boom* ... did...you guys hear that too?

Ma Signor !

Knight in whinging armour gone wrong, look at how he holds the egg. Polyamory with weird knight and death.

the father, son and the holy ghost are very gay

the gays meeting for brunch, 2021, colorized

chicken lady forces death and a very flamboyantly homosexual anthropomorphized pink bird to be parents of her egg (they dont want to be)

That’s just me and my friends on our night out (before covid rip)-- closest

A Good Friday night

good omens (2019)

["the pocket guide to boy/girl/mischief" meme] who's the boy and who's the mischief though????

Papageno and Papagena take their first-born egg trick-or-treating

Angry Birds - The Musical. A pig stole an egg and the bird unites with death to take revenge.

I love my bird wife

Someone got murdered during the funky chicken dance

throuple murders child and steals sibling of said child

When you and your friends have widely different tastes in literature

angel leading twink to his rightful place (hell)

draco malfoy from a very potter musical and a death eater are very much in the wrong show

What have I gotten myself into

Mlm/wlw solidarity but I’m not telling who is who

A woman stands with a pink dipshit with an egg and a reaper.

A bird-couple makes a pact with Death, sacrificing their first-born bird-child in order to bring good luck upon their unborn bird-baby

There are three types of people on Halloween:

Uh oh, I don’t think the mother hen is very happy about this...

oh god, they’ve invented seussical. It’s too early!

gay brunch

Three little maids from school are we

guys maybe if we dress gay enough we can distract everyone from the dead flapper bee in the back

those three killed a duck for her egg and are facing the conswquences.

Duck has egg with human, shocked and upset due to biological impossibility

When you bout to make a banging omelet so you invite your fellow queers

"No mortal man could pass that egg, but heaven shall repair your rectum."

originally taken from: the Salzburg Festival’s 2007 production of Hector Berlioz’s Benvenuto Cellini, featuring Maija Kovalevska (left) as Teresa Balducci, Laurent Naouri (center, in chimney) as Fieramosca, and Burkhard Fritz (right) as Benvenuto Cellini

Responses:

“In this same interlude it doth befall That I, one Snout by name, present a wall; And such a wall, as I would have you think, That had in it a crannied hole or chink, Through which the lovers, Pyramus and Thisby, Did whisper often very secretly. This loam, this rough-cast and this stone doth show That I am that same wall; the truth is so: And this the cranny is, right and sinister, Through which the fearful lovers are to whisper.” - a midsummer night’s dream, act v scene 1

"ah yes a prime specimen. see here, right in this box is our one of a kind hob goblin that can be all yours for the low low price of your soul"

what, YOU don't have a special eavesdropping chimney window?

Hänsel und Gretel plotting against the witch

man takes a wrong turn and ends up in a chimney, catches his girlfriend cheating-- closest

when you end up third wheeling the straight couple

lady cheats on her leather jacket wearing scummy boyfriend and when he unexpectedly comes home she hides the lover in the chimney

A straight girl and her gay best friend gossip about stuff idk

Idk Shakespeare?

experimental couples therapy feat. the chimney mf from mary poppins

Area Couple Inadvertently Traps Santa-in-Training in Chimney as they Attempt Rooftop Flirting

Landlords laugh over student renter's misfortune

I never asked for this

Ay yo lil mama lemme whisper in your ear

voyeurist listens to sandy and Danny from grease

Psssst! Did you hear about Susan? You won’t believe it!

lady and the tramp meets beauty and the beast?

human trafficking

And for just $30 you too could have your own tiny brick cage!

Psst I’m wearing assless chaps under this dress

A couple tortures a man in a box.

It's all fun and games being stuck in a chimney until your greasy uncle steals your crush from right above you-- okay ngl this could actually be a great Don Pasquale concept

Taking eavesdropping to the next level

Will you two stop being lovey dovey and let me out? SUMMER LOVIN, HAPPENED SO FAST— 

overhearing how people talk about you when they think they're alone puts you in the shithouse 

Does he know we can see him?

dear god, i am so fucking hungry, yall please just do whatever heterosexuals do so i can go eat a popsicle 

the human version of the trash man from sesame street is realizing that those two are going to fuck on his trash can 

Tmw you capture an angry short dude and start trashtalking him where he can hear 

Omg what if we kissed but we actually kissed the lil goblin man under us

"Remember, don't feed him after midnight"

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Leonardo Estevez (right, on fake horse) as Le Comte d’Oberthal

Responses:

“When I said we needed to drain the swamp I didn’t think there were people actually living there”

horse? what horse? no sir i dont know what horse youre referring to.

definitely don't have a napoleon complex going on

King stole La Scala‘s Lohengrin set

king breaks all his horses, has to use statue dragged by servants as transportation because he’s too kingly too walk

Emperor Söder and his subjects on a carnival procession

man on horse makes a big deal out of being on a horse

That’s not Zeffirelli because the horse is not alive

Who the fuck put a horse on the stage

isn't this that picture of napoleon on the horse

Area Count Thinks Citizens will be Intimidated by his Extremely Fake-looking Horse Statue-- closest

Everyone wants their turn on the giant plaster horse. Police are there to make sure everyone waits their turn.

Night out with the lads

Local royalty horrified at the state of his own damn kingdom

gay army fights different gay aesthetics-- hi author how does it feel to be the funniest fucking person on this quiz

Well at least I LOOK badass

ceasar if he hadn't gotten stabbed (colourised)

some soldiers jumped out of my kindergarten fairytale collection book to burn the don carlos flemish deputies at the stake

It’s just a model

Is that how you feel pulling up in your Honda Civic, Madge?

Someone rides a horse statue in public.

Just a normal party with the bros.

what is this, some kind of crossover episode? 

Terribly sorry for all the fuss, it’s just, that is, my horse is afraid of neck ruffles. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but he’s—whoaaa there—he said he was a french courtier in a past life and he’s allergic to English fashion 

Horse seller, listen to me! I am riding into battle. I need your strongest horse. - We have horses at home. - The horses at home: 

All hail Incitatus the king 

we are not ripping off shakespeare’s henry viii. what the fuck. this is about lenny xi you uncultured swine, go drown in a pit of your own farts 

oh god is that hamilton 

Guy Removed From Art Museum For Sitting On Statue, more at eleven 

Gay <3

Officer: This horse... is a virgin! Crowd: *cheers*

originally taken from: the Parma Verdi Festival’s 2017 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Stiffelio, featuring Maria Katzarava (left) as Lina and Luciano Ganci (right) as Stiffelio

Responses:

That One kid in class

its a mEntAL BreAkDowN *final countdown but kazoo*

*record scratch* yeah, that's me. you're probably wondering how I got here-- closest

Dad keeps monologuing, teenager is done

left: all of my concerned friends, right: my emo ass having a very public mental breakdown

the demons in the corner of my room when im just trying to sleep

lady gets mansplained to (do i need to say more, we've all been there)

It’s probably an area baritone telling off an area soprano-- sorry; it’s a tenor. soprano is right though.

That was a fake horse in the last photo right?

child comes out as gay to father at a particularly bad time

dissociation solves everything

I can't believe it's not butter

Honey we talked about this

My sleep paralysis demon is Crowley from supernatural

child has nightmare of boring job

When you start dating a singer but he won’t stop practicing at night

just an average day in a hetero marriage

what do i do my wife's having period cramps again

Stop having an existential crisis. It’s time to sing!

“No son of mine will kin Gomez Addams under MY roof”

Crowley stares into space while a teen has post nut clarity.

When he wont stop reciting jordan peterson monologues!!

Do you realize how effed you are?

Ugh, not this lecture again! Dad’s Practicing For His Experimental Indie Band Again 

asking your parents for help with your own personal situation and them just ranting off about what they went through instead of helping in any way 

Will he shut up already!

no one tell him he’s yelling in the wrong direction, no one tell him plnsbdjddhdj 

this kid is tired of his dad listening to rush limbaugh (a man who claimed to be pro life but died anyway) 

Me internally vs externally 

Daddy issues

originally taken from: the Grand Théâtre de Genève’s 2020 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Les Huguenots, featuring several chorus members

Responses:

It’s the deadly eye Of Poogley-pie. Look away, look away, As you walk by, ‘Cause whoever looks right at it Surely will die. It’s a good thing you didn’t … You did? … Good-bye. - shel Silverstein

why the fuckith? my good sir, i beg of you to put your pants back on

I hate this itchy hat

Titanic Extras hear that they have to do extra hours

people waiting to board the titanic watch someone fall off the plank

pov: you’re a time traveler

guy in the flatcap is embarrassed by patriotism and pathos

No idea. For some reason Le Marseillaise comes to mind

Is this from Harry Potter?

disneyland main street usa workers on strike

local tries to hide behind Newsies cap to avoid unpleasant but inevitable conversations. meanwhile, some very fashionable ladies look on.

"Thank fuck, 2020 was just a dream after all"

“We gather here today because this bitch got exactly what she deserved” “heaven!” “Stfu Stephanie she’s going to hell and we all know it”-- not quite but this basically happens later on in the opera (and act) so yeah (except the person in question very much Did Not Deserve It)

dc movie filter on bridgerton

america?

looks like my history teacher paused the prohibition documentary again

Who still wears page boy hats bro?

Coming out to a room of people who Already Knew That

Bitches are relieved at some party.

Several drunk people exiting getting off the subway attempting to seem sober and rational but realizing they have somehow lost all of their possessions

How tf do I act natural in this situation-- closest

“do you think any of them noticed that I don’t know the pledge of allegiance” 

It's too fucking hot outside for this outfit 

?

when hyyh yoonkook ending just hits different 

pedestrians watch in horror as the triangle shirtwaist factory burns and the workers throw themselves out of the windows from a dozen stories up 

Starting the pledge of allegiance be like 

He's having a heart attack oh no oh god oh fuck

originally taken from: if I remember correctly, the Semperoper Dresden’s 2018 semi-staging of Johann Strauss II’s Die Fledermaus, with Jonas Kaufmann as Gabriel von Eisenstein

Responses:

“William Shakespeare wrote: "To thine own self be true And it must follow, as the night the day Thou canst not then be false to any man" I believe this wise statement best applies to a woman A blonde woman Over the past three years she taught me And showed us all That being true to yourself never goes out of style Ladies and gentlemen Our valedictorian: Elle Woods!” - legally blonde the musical

eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs

woooooorrrrd

Finally Jonas has graduated! It’s about time, considering he’s an international star.

what my professors think they look like

Prof. Dr. Dr. When someone tells him there are more than two genders

'and since you've now graduated high school, you'll be entering college etc. blablabla' .........meanwhile, there's a whole row of graduates daring each other to chug the cheap vodka one of them has brought in gallons (yes that happened at my graduation, lol)

Jonas darling baby <3-- can’t argue with that

I just realized I have no idea what the actual fuck happens in an opera

ok this one is just what jonas kaufmann always wears you can't fool me.

"as valedictorian i will share with you the importance of loving the floor"

"Yes, mother, my art degree will make me money!"

Graduation speakers are out, singers are in

Senior year takes a new meaninbg

mansplainer professor explains the concept of feminism to women

Your Prof when you finally turn in that missing assignment be like

younger boris johnson (derogatory)

jonas kaufmann retires from opera and takes up motivational speaking

What a fine graduation evening we’re having today

-70 points for slytherin you all have no swag

A man with a college hat sings.

An obviously greying actor trying to play a university student in a low-budget porn parody

How it feels to graduate high school after being held back for years

East High is a place where teachers encouraged us to break the status quo and define ourselves as we choose. Where a jock can cook up a mean crème brûlée, and a brainiac can break it down on the dance floor-

I may not have been "cool" in high school, but in ten years you will all be working for me!

I finally got my GED!

that one guy in ur intro to cultural anthropology class who mansplains to the professor somehow fucking graduated

he;s just graduating and taking his speech too serously idk

Graduation speeches with that one dude who got held back 3 times

Smrt

originally taken from: the Metropolitan Opera’s 2011 staging of Gioachino Rossini’s Le Comte Ory with Joyce DiDonato (left) as Isolier, Diana Damrau (center) as Countess Adèle, and Juan Diego Florez (right) as Le Comte Ory (disguised as a hermit)

Responses:

There is something very [disturbing grunts] About polyamorous couples - polyamorous, Chris Fleming

jinkies

femme fatale (including to herself)

I’ll have a threesome soon !

Hot guy walks by, everyone swoons.

thirdwheeling friend does not realize the other two are having sex

When your girlfriend had „just two beers“ again

jesus is exasperated about having to drag the two ladies towards doing what he needs them to do instead of purple dramatically declaring suicidal intent over the smallest trivial matters and red being equally dramatic about declaring that it's not the way! stay alive! i love you!!

The throuple is thriving

Get off the milf

orgy

my last three braincells because im a horny slut

countess receives too much love and is confused on how to react

Rasputin's lesser known romp with a much older czarina of russia

Woman's soul leaves body

Jesus and co. are worried after another woman gets pregnant without having sex

bisexual looks at photos of celebrity couples

When you go to the party to socialize with new people but your weirdo friend group starts getting clingy

Jesus cumming

one of those weird church christmas pageants but everybody's drunk

What have I done

Hozier??????????

Jesus assfucks some purple lady being hugged.

This time, the chick IS the magnet

An affair/threesome gone awry (2019 colorized)

What do you mean they canceled GLOW?

“I TOLD you it was cashmere!”

Are you wearing the - - The Gucci dress? Yes I am.

It's not what it looks like!

jesus is fucking that one cheerleader who grew up to be a suburban mom with one (1) super cool dress she stole from her kid who is desperately hugging her middle begging for it back because the spring fling is coming up and jason might actually make eye contact with her for more than three seconds.

jesus and mary magdaline and some other bitch

I’m at a bar and these drunk girls are flirting with me, do I lOOK GAY?!

Shrek 5, jesus's return

c. 2025 First attempt of an Officer and his Wife with a Handmaiden (colourized)

just about all of these are close lol

originally taken from: the Bolshoi Theater’s 1993 staging of Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s The Maid of Orléans, featuring Nina Rautio (left) as Joan of Arc and Vyacheslav Pochapsky (right) as Thibaut d’Arc

Responses:

Don’t look, I’m still pooping

yall, the audacity of this man. he fuckin talked to me

*i can't even tell you how wrong you are* *it would be insulting to ME*-- closest

Cospeto!

„No I’m not talking to you, you keep cracking bad jokes!“ - „But I got another!“

when you’re mad at him but he says he’ll buy you food if you cheer up

When I’m wallowing in self-pity but my friends won’t comfort me

right: wanna fuck ;) left: yeah, fuck OFF lmao

Her face is screaming “don’t tell me what to do”

Yeah I got nothing

gay man tries to hit on a lesbian bc he thinks she's a twink. she's not amused but she's watching this happen anyway

me tired of MET's bullshit and them organising a Netrebko, known blackface apologist, a recital during Black History Month. (sorry im still fucking salty lol)

"stop smiling at me like that I'm trying to pout over here"

"I got fleas, you got fleas... wanna fuck?"

I have the best idea!

Haha nooooo don’t hit me with that bat you’re so sexxyy

lesbian is bothered by dilf

Me trying to flirt

if call me by your name was hetero and set in america

how many more dad jokes can i take before i explode

So. You’ve gotten yourself in a little pickle again.

What if we fought in the Russian revolution together ✨???????... unless??

Two people flirt in a poor place of town/

"If you ask me what I've got under this dirty, shapeless tunic one more time I swear to god I will kick your rotting teeth in"

You look like ur gonna kill me but ok

Really? You again?

Okay, I’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes, do you think it’s safe to—oh god, he’s still there.

Have you seen Godot?

she is tired of everyone’s shit. she has done so many derivatives it physically pains her to see a variable. dont test her. ur icarus rn.

idk pick better pictures-- I HAVE DIED THE SHEER AUDACITY AND HUBRIS I LOVE THIS

200% done with your crap 

Homeless man has fucking legs of steel n is gonna show off his Russian dance moves

originally taken from: the Th��âtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2019 staging of Paul Dukas’ Ariane et Barbe-bleue, featuring Sophie Koch (right) as Ariane and I don’t remember who the person on the left is rip me

Responses:

The knight who wore this into battle sure was swaggy

dear god its hiddeous

Capitalism

Knight in shining armour gone even more wrong.

ghost contemplates the safety of spiky motorcycle helmet

„Stop! He feels bullied!“

'this is my newest take for jesus's crucifixion crown ...... what do you mean they already put him up'

That’s probably a really expensive magic helmet idk. IDK-- closest

Omg I love the adventure zone!

minesweeper (windows xp)

"Okay whatever you do don't touch the shiny spiky ball" "It's so shiny I wanna touch it"

Taking down the trash way too late

IT'S NOT A PHASE MOM

Darth Vader got stuck in the freezer.... again. Leia isn’t happy

Star Wars 2030

“And here is the very latest in motorcycle helmet trends” “Look, I only came to the mall for a pair of socks “

futuristic kkk

long-suffering jewelry store attendant really wants to retire

Put it down put it down put it down

“Hmm no you should see a doctor about that”

A weird ass crown is presented

The creation of sars-cov-2: an experimental Eurotrance nightclub art piece gone horribly wrong

How it feels to want something that u cant have

AND WE WILL CALL IT—SPIKE MAN actually do you think that’s too obvious?? Because of the—yeah, because of the spikes?? See, that’s what I’m worried about. I want it to be SCARY

I know it's risky but... lube me up

?

use the force luke.

that is a weird fleshlight

When you get an ugly gift and need to find a way to get rid of it, so your family member/friend offers to smash it

Touch the orb

originally taken from: the Opera Vlaanderen’s 2019 staging of Fromental Halévy’s La Juive, with Nicole Chevalier (left, with bottle) as Princess Eudoxie, Enea Scala (center, under table) as Prince Léopold, and Roy Cornelius Smith (right) as Éléazar

Responses:

When no one comes to your birthday party :(

fantastic, day 487 of mischief and they have yet to find my masterful hiding spot

i really wonder who he thinks he's playing footsie with

Marriage crisis. Reason sits under the table-- closest but not in the way you think (after all, the man under the table IS a tenor).

the last supper afterparty after jesus left

When you order the last supper on wish

espionage at the Politischer Rosenmontag

Probably the wrong opera but is that Leporello under the table

Now THIS is a Good Friday night

this was every birthday party i went to between the ages of 5 and 11

that awkward moment when you drop your fork under the table but when you re-emerge everyone else has left except one drunk lady and the guy trying to deal with her

After the last supper

Tfw you arrive to the dinner party too early and have to hide until a more fashionable hour

When the cishets aren’t home

waiter hides from customers

Nobody: My dog every time I’m eating:

what's left of the homies Jesus had dinner with

university chem lab experiment gone terribly wrong

I’ve been under the table FOR 30 MINUTES

Set your friends up by tossing them off under the table, they’ll think it’s each other n fall in luv

Someone hids under a table

"You're about to see an surreptitious-under-the-table-dick-sucking master at work"

5 yr old me trying to eat the desert under the table without my parents finding out be like:

They never invite me to their parties!

Just another girl’s night in

Oops! Didn’t notice you the table.

dionysus - bts (2019, colorized)

just a normal episode of eric andre (eric is the one under the table)

Just a normal day with the boys

Thievery

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Kate Aldrich (left, surrounded by women in white) as Fidès and John Osborn (center, looking like a Jesus doppelganger) as Jean de Leyde

Responses:

Hold up, is that Eggman above Jesus?

holy disco

Looks like Tannhäuser. Our lord and saviour Richard Wagner. Now I need to be saved from that.

catholicism

me defending pineapple on pizza (THANK YOU)

jesus but hes about to be abducted by the alien ufo above him

Emmmmmmm Heaven? Idk

Lord of the rings?

ewww christianity gross

"behold, I am Important"

"Seriously?? It's not ACTUALLY pyjama day? Fuck you guys!"

Jesus at the Disco

Jesus Finds The Molerat People Who Live Under Bethlehem

disco is heaven

Want to join my new religion?

the kkk

church christmas pageant where everyone's sober but it's based on the director's fever dream

Am I the only one who sees the giant demon? Just me? Okay...

“Oh god I think I’m starting my period”

A party is held with a priest in the middle

"Let's get this secret Vatican sex party rolling!"

The new avengers endgame set is looking great!!

You know, guys, I try not to be a bother but...I can’t help but feel like I missed a dress code memo for this wedding??? It’s cocktail, right??”

Jesus visits Hogwarts

I must really stink if no one will even come close to me

the extra ass funeral i DESERVE

star wars life day

A cult at it’s best-- closest

Shrek 5, Jesus is still there I guess

originally taken from: the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden’s 2013 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Les vêpres siciliennes, featuring Bryan Hymel (left, standing) as Henri, Lianna Haroutounian (center, kneeling in the black gown) as Duchess Hélène, and Erwin Schrott (kneeling to her right) as Jean Procida

Responses:

When the director’s like “great rehearsal guys, just a few notes before I let you go” but it’s already 9:13 and your mom’s waiting in the parking lot

loyalist of subjects

bow before your queen

They forgot to take down the stage boxes after the Vienna opera ball but the show must go on.

somebody forgot to book chairs for this funeral

Me sharing God’s (Hayley koyoko) word on the discord server

mass execution bc the oboe solo sucked ass-- closest

That’s too many black suits I can’t see shit

I can’t even tell what’s going on here

8th grade school assembly about how it's uncool to shit on the walls at school

let's all get fancy so we can go to the opera and sit on the stage (idk this one's hard lol)

"Yes i am a time traveller, now don't freak out"

Tfw you forget to pay your lighting bills

White guys make decisions that will benefit them and screw someone that’s not a white guy over-- OUCH but that is too real (although not really in context here)

dead man gives speech at his own funeral

brotus and the boys ??? last meeting before the stabbing

high society social function ends in mass murder-- right opera, wrong scene

Someone walks into the talent show stage with a dog

Black-dressed bitches worship a man.

Worst school assembly of all time

POV:You're the window in the classroom and someone said "its snowing"

When the conductor shows up fashionably late to the orchestra concert

That's what you get for choosing the cheapest ticket option, get back in the mud where you belong

?

theyre just trying to jump into a grave at a funeral leabe them alone this is normal

oh my god he really whipped his dick out in front of everyone, this is just like in 1776 guys, except some women are actually in the room this time,

A funeral, stop wearing so much black

I want to slap their bald heads like rice

originally taken from: the Teatro Real Madrid’s 2018 staging of Gaetano Donizetti’s Lucia di Lammermoor, featuring Roberto Tagliavini (right) as Raimondo

Responses:

Crowd “haha!! Looks like someone missed the all-black memo!! Now it’s laugh-in-your-face time! / Guy on the floor (whispering to guy against wall): go, save yourself! I’ll hold them off...”

if i leave now i wont be a witness and can tell the police i had no idea

it was the best of times, it was the worst of times

Guy in the back pretends to help but is to far away to even know what’s going on.

priest walks in on beginning of an orgy, contemplated joining but is too scared-

when someone brings up capitalism but you’re just trying to play minecraft

lol lets trample this guy while the judge isnt looking

Again. Too many black costumes

Loved this Dostoevsky novel

i would know if opera directors were more creative with clothing choices ngl

me on parties lol

"imma just sneak out of here while everyone else is distracted"

"Where did he get this flooring!? Amazing!"

Everyone act normal!

The tell tale heart but they got REALLY drunk

man tposes to ward off vampires after being caught undercover

boys ???? night

the priest really shouldn't have visited the insane asylum-- closest

He’s FINE everyone’s been hit by a car before

Something happens in a room.

Perks of being a wallflower

There's always that one person in the fight whos trying not to get involved when they really wanna

Oh good, they’re all posing for a Rembrandt painting, I can just sneeeeaaak out the back here...

The gamer livestreaming Resident Evil + everyone watching the stream ? waiting for him to open the door just knowing it will trigger a chase scene

Quick!

the guy t posing in the back is regretting his every decision.-- also accurate

the us senate jumps ted cruz, some other wack ass gop senator is trying to sneak away

...I spoke too soon, however this is a James Bond mission

Queers help fellow queer do math but it's a struggle

[littleturtle95]

If anyone wants to send me some Christmas prompts I am looking for some inspiration because I am all in the Christmas vibe but I have too much in mind so I need an input 🙈

Sooo if you have something specific Christmas related that you want to read, I'm the girl for you 😎

What do I write:

MCU and Spiderman comics, pretty much every Peter pairing that doesn't involve an adult (except for comic MJ, I can't stand her lol, movie MJ and Gwen are okay) and all platonic relationships

TSC (all sagas except TLH), all ships but especially wlw and mlm ones and all platonic relationships especially parabatai relationships

IT (both book and movies, not 90s show), all Losers ships, no Bowers gang, even OT3 (Ben x Bev x Bill am I right???), Adrian Mellon and Don Hagarty also okay, all platonic relationships okay

Harry Potter (all media types, FB and CC included), all canon ships and fanon mlm and wlw ships (unless it's adult + kid - I'm looking at you, Snarry) except for Drarry (not into it, sorry), all platonic relationships

TRC all canon ships (yes, even the previously canon and not anymore ships) and platonic relationships, no crackship (okay Henry, Gansey and Blue are fine, but no other crackships istg y'all are weird lol)

Ineffable Husbands

Immortal Husbands (yeah I like husbands)

I don't write smut because I am bad at it and I get second hand embarrassment, and no major character death please and thank you I'm here for Christmas fluff. Whump is fine but like, light whump.

Cute AUs like coffe shop AUs, Toy Store AUs, meet cutes, etc are okay, Hogwarts AUs for every fandom also okay 🙌🏻

[sir-phillip-crane]

People, separately: "au where natalie is a trans girl!" "Au where henry is a trans girl!"

Fool,,, they're both trans girls and in a wlw relationship

[official-michael-afton]

WHAT YOUR FAVORITE FNaF SHIP SAYS ABOUT YOU[Human Edition]

This is all meant to be good and fun, don’t take any of these as a personal attack on you XD Sticking with humanXhuman for now because there’s too many animatronics to ship JBSDJKFBDSKJBFSK

Mike Schmidt X Phone Guy[Michaelphone]: You’ve been in the fandom since day 1. There were only 2 humans at the time and hey you had to ship SOMETHING. You likely enjoy ships where one party is very protective over the other. You either love the major character death trope or you have at least one AU where PG doesn’t die

Mike Schmidt X Jeremy Fitzgerald[Jeremike]: What can you say? You love the classic ProtagXProtag dynamic. If your Mike or Jeremy is the 87 victim, you also go feral over hurt/comfort

MikeXFritz, JeremyXFritz, and/or PGxFritz: You don’t CARE if Fritz Smith only showed up for one night, he deserves love too DAMMIT

Jeremy Fitzgerald X Phone Guy: Same as MikeXPG but with extra hurt/comfort, ESPECIALLY if Jer or PG is your 87 victim

Phone Guy x Purple Guy[PurplePhone]: If you’re still in the fandom, you most likely ship Willry. You were probably a Vincent fan at some point in your life. Same as the Willry stats, but with young twinks instead of old men

Purple Guy x Jeremy Fitzgerald: You were totally a Rebornica fan at some point. You’re very similar to the PurplePhone shippers, just with (a probably more submissive) Jeremy instead of PG

Phone Guy x Phone Dude: You have a simple shipper brain. You see two characters in a similar profession, your brain goes “SHIP”. You’re also possibly a furry

Phone Dude x FNaF3 Guard: You’re feral over friends-to-lovers tropes, and if you’re alloromantic, have likely gotten a crush on at least one of your friends in your life. You WOULD drop everything for your friends

William Afton x Henry Emily[Willry]: If you were in the fandom early on, you most likely shipped PurplePhone. If you ship Willry, there’s a 59% chance you go feral over the classic friends-to-enemies-to-lovers trope, a 39% chance that you have at least one AU where neither of them do awful things and just live as happy healthy dads and no one dies, aaaand a 2% chance you’re one of those people who looks at abusive content where one party is clearly miserable and goes “that’s hot” 

Henry Emily x Clay Burke[Clayry]: You just want Henry and/or Clay to be happy, and who can blame you. Bonus points for DadXDad dynamic. You also probably ignore that both of these characters are pretty morally gray rather than pure-good-aligned in favor of the ship

William Afton X Charlie Emily: Who... Who hurt you? Same dynamic as Willry but change the stats to 49% you go feral over enemies-to-lovers trope, 49% you think abusive dynamics are hot, and 2% you’re attempting to put Will through a redemption arc. You BETTER be making Charlie 18+ or ELSE

Charlie Emily x Elizabeth Afton[Charlizabeth]: You most likely have at least one AU where neither of them die and grow up to be happy and healthy. You also love childhood-friends-to-lovers tropes and just want them to be happy and really, who could blame you?

Charlie Emily X John: You also enjoy childhood-friends-to-lovers tropes, but with that extra perk of following canon. You’re probably a John stan

John X Carlton Burke: You’re gay

Charlie Emily X Jessica: You’re gay

Michael Afton X Charlie Emily: same as CharlieXElizabeth, but M/F instead of F/F. You just want them to be happy and recover from the traumas their fathers started, and really, who could blame you?

Michael AftonXPG, MichaelXJeremy and/or MichaelXFritz: Same as the ships with Mike Schmidt, but EXTRA angst and hurt/comfort, ESPECIALLY if your Michael is the crying child, fnaf4 older brother, and/or eggs benedict. Bonus points if Michael is your 83 victim and PG/Jer/Fritz is your 87 victim.

Vanny/Nessie X Luis: You go feral over a classic himbo

Vanny X William Afton[Vanilliam]: There is an 85% chance you go feral over VillainXVillain ships, and a 15% chance you look at abusive content where one party is clearly miserable and go “that’s hot”. You also might still be on the bandwagon of “hey what if Vanny was a crazy William fangirl” and tbh I dont blame you

Vanny X Tape Girl: You saw two female characters and your wlw brain went “SHIP” and really, who could blame you?

Vanny X SB-Guard: You not only go feral over protagXvillain dynamics, but you also saw two female characters and your wlw brain went “SHIP” and really, who could blame you?

William Afton X Michael Afton[Aftoncest]: WHO HURT YOU??? You either really need to speak to a therapist and/or really need to never have children

Any ships with characters from the FazFright series: Honestly I’m just proud you made it through those books with enjoy enjoyment to ship any characters, way to go buddy!

Any OCxCanon or Self-Ships: Bro... I feel you.

[artichoke-me-please]

Hand in Hand

hi! so I wrote this for a ‘gothic elements’ assessment piece a while back and I just wanted to post it

genre: historical au - angst, a teeny bit of fluff (none of the characters are named)

word count: around 2.2k I think

contains: wlw themes, homophobic behaviour, blood, death

song recommendation: someone's someone by monsta x, monster - english version by henry

//

She slowly climbed up the slanted stone steps to the ruins. From the front, it appeared to be an ordinary, dark and old cathedral; the spires reaching for the sky, the darkness on the inside, the coal black of the hard stone. But what lay beyond the scratched and worn doors was a different story - it was revealed that all that was left of the majestic glory in the façade was a lie.

The bare skeleton of the grand church was all that remained, a black husk of its former self. Ash floated in the air as she stepped forwards, her long dark skirts disturbed the stillness, the filtered sunlight from behind the clouds giving it the appearance of black snow. The smell of damp soot and raw dirt clogged up her throat, making it even harder to breathe in her constricting corset. The dim interior was coated in black soot, the pews burnt and the wooden arches overhead were long gone. The frames in the ceiling that once held beautiful frescoes had disappeared and leaves had strewn themselves across the tiled floor. In the murky darkness, the glint of gold shone out, illuminating piles of crumbled stone and withered plants.

It hurt her, seeing what had happened to this haunted cathedral. How such a cold, chilling and oh-so beautiful building had been reduced to a pile of dust and rubble. Her memories of this place were overwhelming as she took in the sight before her.

A sparrow glided down, the only sign of life in this place. It hopped around, pecking and scratching in the dust. She stood still and watched it scavenge, hearing the rustling of trees nearby.

A ray of sunlight fell across the damp tiles, transporting her back to a happier time. She closed her eyes and let herself be swept away by the memories.

The pale pink of the cherry blossom tree by the side of the cathedral was sweet relief from the muted tones of the Sunday congregation. The two young girls dashed out of the church and down the stairs, squealing and laughing. Neither of them listened to their mothers, who insisted they act more ‘ladylike’ and ‘respectful’. The warm sunlight filtered through the ancient trees alongside the imposing stone building, scattering shadow and light across the secluded clearing behind the rear cathedral. The girls had discovered the haven last summer and had plans to make it their own hideaway - it already had a wooden plank and rope swing hanging down from an old oak, perfect for them.

As the afternoon slipped away, they heard the voices of their mothers calling for them and, holding hands, they left the peacefulness behind to go back to their lives.

The two girls, older now, were sneaking out of the church during the Mass. Down the altarserver’s corridor and out the back door. The hushed whispers echoed up the spiral staircase nearby, the giggles blending in with the bells above. They sprinted out the forgotten door, dresses hitched up to avoid mud splatter. Their boots, however, were already caked in grime from their previous shenanigans, the length of their dreaded skirts was the only thing hiding the soiled shoes from prying eyes. Their hair had fallen out of place with pins in disarray, their stiff collars unbuttoned.

They collapsed on the grass, loud laughter startling small birds in the trees. The shadows played with the greenery around them. They held hands and told each other stories of far away places - mountains begging to be explored, dragons in foreboding caves and of mermaids on waves, luring their prey to the inky depths below.

A favourite theme soon emerged - monsters. The girl with fair silky hair, always got frightened of the cursed and hideous creatures that the girl with dark and curly hair thought up. Every story ended with a grotesque face pulled and a loud shriek. Every tale promised nights with fears in the dark, the need of comfort in the early hours.

This was the perfect time alone. No one had to know.

They soon grew into young women, faced with challenges, responsibilities and male suitors. Still, they defied orders and met up in the clearing, to complain about the small things and dream about an ideal life together. The perfect world they imagined could never come true, but they would try their hardest, hand in hand.

But that dream got shattered on that fateful day.

Some say it was started by a candle, the flame catching a piece of cloth alight. Others claimed it was a lamp, the glass shattering when dropped. How it started doesn’t matter. What happened afterwards did. The flames consumed the majestic cathedral, roaring and spitting. It took out the ceiling and weakened the walls, taking down everything in its path.

Just before the fire started, the women had been in their secluded clearing. They discussed politics and debated about why women weren’t allowed to get a proper education and what they would learn if they had the chance. They walked, hand in hand, back through the hidden door. The flame had already started, spreading from the choir pews. The smell of smoke grew stronger as they continued to make their way back through the empty cathedral. The light of the flickering flame suddenly spread behind them, gaining speed. The crackling and popping of the fire grew to be deafeningly loud, the smoke choking them up. The one with curly hair shouted and dragged the other girl, dashing out. The girl with fair hair stumbled and let go of their intertwined hands. Her boot wedged in a crevice of a fallen pew, trapping her from escaping. She yelled to the other girl to run, to save herself from the flames.

The girl obeyed, shakily running out to the main doors. She turned to look back, slamming the doors wide open behind her. The last thing she saw before she ran was the silhouette of a girl disappearing in the blinding heat.

She was jolted back to the present at the deafening crack of a gunshot, ringing out through the abandoned cathedral. She felt a hot tear drip down her face and she quickly wiped it away. She looked around for the source of the gunshot. A ray of sunlight fell across the tiles, and what she saw made her freeze. Her eyes landed on the bird that was now a bloody, mangled heap, feathers in disarray. Glistening red was streaked across the tiles. She pressed her fist to her mouth, choking back a sob.

The thunk of boots echoed around, making it hard for her to tell where it was coming from. She stumbled backwards, trying to hide in the shadows, but the intruder beat her to it. The man walked up behind her and grinned sickly. He grabbed her waist and pulled her close to him, leaning down to whisper in her ear.

“Well, well! What are you doing here, princess?”

His face was twisted in a smirk. She felt her breath hitch as she fought against his hold. She elbowed his stomach - hard - forcing him to release her. She pushed him back while he regained his breath, twisting out of his grasp. She spun to face him and wasn’t surprised to see the man she hated with her whole soul - the one who was dead set on marrying her.

“How naughty of you, sneaking out in maid’s clothing! What would your mother say?” He tutted in mock disapproval.

“My mother is out of town, tending to my aunt. She will not be returning for two days.” She glared at him, fists clenched.

The young man looked amused as he slowly advanced towards her. She looked behind him and saw a hunting rifle lying on the tiles. Glancing up at the smug expression on his face, she reluctantly stepped forwards as if to hug him. He gave a chuckle and raised his arms to embrace her. He wrapped his arms around her and stroked her hair. It took all of her being not to shudder. She stood stiffly, refusing to make eye contact as she slightly leaned into him. He cupped her cheek, brushing the dampness of her tears away. His other hand deftly untied the ribbon holding her hair together, causing the tight dark curls to fall across her back, undone.

“Look at that. I knew you would come to your senses, love.”

“Why are you here?”

“I could ask you the same question. Thi-”

“Isn’t your brother gravely ill?”

He glanced down at her, expression unreadable. She gulped as she felt his grip get tighter. His eyes narrowed.

“If I may ask, why do you care? After all, he is on his deathbed - which leaves the inheritance to me. It’s better for me to get the money than my younger sister, god forbid. She won’t even make that good of a housewife.”

She tensed her shoulders at the mention of his little sister, one of the kindest people she had ever met. She went to step back, but he held her firmly. She glared at him.

“What are you doing here? Answer my question.”

He loosened his hold on her, still keeping her close. He sneered.

“Haven’t you heard? This dingy church and the unkempt gardens are now on my property- the hunting grounds. Surely the news had reached the town you were staying in just after the fire?”

Suddenly, she punched him in the nose and stomped on his foot. She was fed up with his games. He fell backwards with a cry and groaned, hitting the floor. A puff of ash rose from around him, making them cough.

She dodged his hands, trying not to trip, and grabbed the rifle, cocking it.

He pushed himself up into a sitting position and raised his hands. He appeared stoic as usual, but the slight falter of his voice gave his fear away.

“Darling… put the gun down. Do you even know how to use it?”

She scoffed and pointed the gun at him. She knew full-well how to use the rifle - her own father had taught her how to hunt, despite it being ‘unladylike’.

The man before her muttered something with a grin. She raised an eyebrow and growled.

“Speak up. Need I remind you that I am the one with the weapon?”

“Hm? Oh, I was just saying how the last girl who died here was a… fiery one. Too bad they didn’t have a funeral for her, that woman lover-”

She fought the urge to scream at him, to claw at his face. That one phrase made her see red. She swept the stray curls from her hair to the side, clenching her jaw. How would he react to know that she herself was one of the women he despised? What would he do to her?

“What do you mean, d-died in here? What are you talking about?”

Her hands shook slightly and he tilted his head, no longer feeling threatened by her.

“That girl… I’ve forgotten her name, but she had pale hair and a beautiful figure. Such a shame that went to waste.”

She opened her mouth to yell - to scream to the high heavens - but he wasn’t finished.

“Well, at least she has more use to the oak she was buried under. No self-respecting gentleman would stoop so low as to marry her.”

He chuckled and nodded in the direction of the garden that held so many of her dear memories. His head lolled back as he sighed. The ribbon he had taken from her hair peeked out of his pocket. She felt the ghost of his hands grabbing at her and she gritted her teeth. Her face turned dark and she pulled the trigger.

That moment became a blur - all the muted colours around her, the clunk of the rifle hitting the tiles, the sounds of her footsteps echoing up to the spires, the feeling of wind on her skin, the footprints in murky red leaving a trail behind her. The tears flowed freely as she tripped and stumbled, running out to the clearing. A flock of birds were startled by her running and they took off into the silver-blue sky. She felt her feet carry her to the majestic oak. There was a small, roughly hewn headstone amongst the roots. The steady swaying of the old wooden swing was so familiar to her, it was like the rocking of waves to a sailor. The only difference from what she remembered was that the piece of wood was dangling from one rope.

As she stood there, the warm wind stirring around her, she looked at the soft dirt beneath her feet. Crimson blood from her shoes had seeped into the ground, painting her footprints burgundy. She choked back sobs as everything caught up to her. She fell to her knees in front of the darkened stone, not caring about her dress or how she looked.

“I… I’m so sorry… I’ve become the thing you m-most feared… a monster...”

She dug her hand deep into the loose soil, tears turning the dirt a dark shade of brown. The breeze rustled the branches above. Everything blurred her, sounds faded around her. She felt the fight leave her body and she collapsed.

At that moment, the wood of the swing dropped, the rope unravelling.

The hidden love of two girls, who this world had forsaken.

By some cruel, twisted joke of fate… they ended up together in the end.

Hand in hand.

//

//

thanks for reading! I appreciate any constructive criticism <3

[neshabeingchildish]

Hensley & Char: Friends or Whatever || Part 5

@just-a-j-reallly @junknstu1f @wandmaximoff I am SO SORRY that this took this long and is still this short, but girls, y’all know i be hustling.A lot of corona dodging happening, since some folks got it around me and just other things as well. Hopefully, this one still matters tho. :)

The Secret Adventures of Hensley and Char

Charlotte stuffed her bookbag and rushed out of the door, mentally calculating the tightness of her schedule tonight. There was going to be an announcement this evening and since Hensley would have to go as Kid Danger, Charlotte was tasked with watching Piper after school. She didn’t mind. Piper was the closest she might come to ever having a little sister and since she was covering for a Man Cave related reason, she could submit a payment request to Ray for the babysitting hours. She deserved some compensation for taking on something else while she was trying to get her body ready to sign up for a marathon.

This evening would be the FIRST time that she had to cringe about Piper’s Kid Danger fangirling. “I’m basically GAY for Kid Danger!” the kid cheered.

“You don’t need to be saying that,” Charlotte offered. She wanted to expound, but she didn’t want to be obvious, but she couldn’t think of a single thing that she could add that might not make her seem homophobic or something. “You’re 8,” she finally settled on.

“I’m 9!” Piper corrected her.

“Also too young to focus on crushes. Crush those books,” Charlotte said, hating the fact that she sounded like her mother. 

After she brought Piper back home and checked in with the Harts, allowing Jasper to tell them an indirect lie about where Henry was. (Charlotte had botched it up by telling him that Hensley’s goldfish had babies), and whenever Jasper asked them about it and they were confusedly discussing whether or not Hensley had a goldfish, Charlotte ducked out to head back to Junk N’ Stuff for an emergency. 

She’d just text Jasper the lie that Hensley decided she wasn’t ready to be a goldfish granny and parted with all of them… Yeah! Lying was so much easier via text. The truth was that somehow, Captain Man was not indestructible, and as the brains of the operation, Ray had demanded that she come in PRONTO and get with Gooch on trying to figure out what was happening and what to do. “I’m literally a 13 year old girl,” she said to herself, after sending Jasper the text and reading through Ray’s meltdown in her texts. “What does he want me to do?”

She wondered this more and more as time went by. Technically, to be honest… She often was the one to figure things out and help save the day with her brains, but, still… And being the person to try to tell the lies to Jasper was a struggle too. Jasper was simple, but she knew that she wasn’t very good at lying. She had to always text him the lie. Sometimes, from right next to him. Luckily, the confusion of why she texted him while she was right next to him instead of just telling him was enough to throw him off of the weirdness of her and Hensley’s new secret lifestyle.

And THAT was a journey of adventure for Charlotte. She had been reading books since she was 3, and now, she got to live out everything from botched hero antics (Only her journal would ever know the story of what happened to poor Ortho), to unfortunately having to remain quiet while Jasper made an utter fool of himself over a girl, pretending to be Kid Danger… Why… Did that girl think that the OBVIOUS girl in KD’s costume could be Jasper? WHY??? It brought the conversation back up between the trio that “Maybe Kid Danger isn’t a she!” But… Hensley and Charlotte simply had to be mad that Jasper was very willingly being obtuse about her gender, because yikes… the conversation went way wrong and Hensley was looking a little transphobic before too long. Charlotte shut both of them down with a, “Hensley… Just because Kid Danger looks like a girl to you doesn’t necessarily mean that they have to BE one. YOU don’t know for sure whether they are or aren’t. Jasper, you know that whether or not they are a girl, YOU are not Kid Danger. You and her have been in the room at the same time on several occasions! We need not ever discuss the true identity of Kid Danger, EVER again, because I don’t like either of you right now!” 

Weeks of patrols, dozens of missions, hundreds of memories. Charlotte and Hensley were both a little sad that they had to hide these things away from Jasper, but they were also having a good time and unintentionally bonding too… 

Though, that changed a little bit whenever Chloe finally decided that she was ready to be comfortable with herself. That even if she didn’t necessarily like girls, she really liked Hensley and that should be enough to make the two of them matter… even though Charlotte was painfully aware that Chloe sort of “viewed Hensley as a boy.” She didn’t hate her. She just wasn’t someone that Charlotte could see Hensley being very happy with for a long time. She decided to just not think too deeply about it. Hensley’s bad habits of neglecting others would soon catch up to them.

When it did, Charlotte was entertained from the outside of it. Firstly, there was the slightly terrifying transformation that Hensley went through, turning into what Charlotte could only describe as a Cavebeast - Hens and Jasper had a small tiff in the midst of Hensley trying to get things good with Chloe, and at some point… Hensley turned into a boy!

He was… alright, Charlotte guessed. She wasn’t into him. He was only there for a moment, anyway, but one thing tapdanced on Charlotte’s psyche upon seeing him… She wasn’t sure if boys were her thing. 

Since she had become friends with Hensley, there was always something about her that got beneath Charlotte’s skin in a number of ways. Charlotte thought it was because Hensley was carefree and careless - two things that she herself couldn’t afford to be and therefore often tried to police out of others. But, it made Hensley endearing to Charlotte. The smaller, smarter girl felt like she needed to guide and protect her… but, now that Hensley was a sidekick and Charlotte had seen her prove herself for months… she knew that she didn’t have to be this protective. She shouldn’t have to offer as much guidance and advice as Hensley still seemed to think she needed. But, it was nice to be needed, so Charlotte never stopped, even in those moments when Hensley was not open to her assistance. 

People sometimes thought that there was a romantic connection between the two, to which both girls would laugh. Charlotte would tell them, “We’re just friends,” and Hensley would say, “Charlotte’s not gay.” Something that Hensley assumed. Charlotte had never confirmed nor denied it, but she would know, right? She’d know if she liked girls. She was old enough and smart enough, wasn’t she?

Apparently, those weren’t the indicators needed to determine this. Her indication was whenever she saw boy Hensley… He was lanky and tall and there was something like Hensley about him, but… she just didn’t like him, but she liked Hensley. And, it took losing her for a moment, the fear of thinking that they might lose her forever to the beast form, and the boy version of her for Charlotte to have a moment of clarity. She liked Hensley. The way that she was. She liked her that way, a lot. 

Maybe it was simply the fear tricking her. She wouldn’t say anything. Besides, there was Chloe, and… it would be complicated anyway. Charlotte mentally shut that down and didn’t speak of it out loud. She couldn’t like Hensley, so she figured she was one of those people who must’ve swooned platonically over her friends. It didn’t extend to Jasper, but… he was weird, so she just accepted that was why. It wasn’t because like poor Piper, that she was “gay for” her friend. It wasn’t. She silently reminded herself of this at times whenever her heart was especially soft for Hens, and was thankful that she didn’t need to do so too often… Because Hensley could be a wreck sometimes. A clueless wreck.

But Hensley was her clueless wreck.

Whenever Charlotte took Piper to the movies and the little girl had the opportunity to work with Captain Man and Kid Danger, as well as become the new president of the Man Fans, Charlotte brought her home afterwards, turned her over to Hensley and said, “We’ve gotta talk.” Piper was still on Cloud 9 about her night, so she rushed to her room, talking on the phone about how amazing it was - a night that she in portion had Charlotte to thank for and wouldn’t soon forget it, Hensley looked at Charlotte.

“What’s up, Char?”

“Your sister. She has a super crush on Kid Danger,” Charlotte said.

“My sister is gay too?” Hensley asked, excited, but then winced and said, “Wait!” 

“Yeah…” Charlotte said, “And also, I don’t know that she’s gay. She could simply respect Kid Danger so much that she sees her in a light that she sees no one else, and honestly, same.” Charlotte’s face warmed whenever she said that, but to try to backtrack might make it seem suspicious.

“So… You’re gay for Kid Danger, too?” Hensley teased.

“What? No! She’s just very admirable and… and…”

“I was obviously joking, Char,” Hensley laughed, and pulled her into a one armed hugged and kissed her forehead, “Thanks again for hanging out with Piper. She needs an older female person around sometimes.”

“You’re…” Charlotte started as she moved out of Hensley’s reach.

“Yeah, but I meant like, you know, a girl, girl. One that I don’t know, can rock a skirt and like likes boys or whatever.”

Why does everyone just presume that I like boys? EVEN my lesbian best friend, whbo snhould know better than to presume things about people’s identities…

“This is stupid,” Charlotte said, keeping the front thoughts to herself. “Night, Hens.”

.

Chloe went to star on Kids in the Woods, and honestly, Charlotte wouldn’t miss her, but Hensley was very sad to see her go. Which, Charlotte only understood to a certain degree, because… she never really had time for Chloe ANYWAYS, and now, she wouldn’t have to always try to make up reasons that she had to duck out or cancel. But seeing Hensley depressed was sad and over a girl? Of all the frivolous things. This was a girl who fought crime and faced villains, and what was she doing… being heartbroken over her girlfriend? Pathetic.

Charlotte let Jasper break into her thoughts and welcomed the interruption, because she was thinking TOO much about Hensley anyway. But, after only a few minutes of Jasper talking, she regretted letting him interrupt her thoughts. I have GOT to find other friends, she thought, frivolously. She definitely was not going to try to meet new people nor get close to the ones that she knew casually. She did wish that she could bounce some of her Hensley problems off of Jasper, though. But… too many of them would reflect upon Kid Danger, and… she sighed. That part of Hensley’s world was shut off to the rest of the world. In that way, they were connected. 

That’s what it was. That was all it was. They were connected by this very important secret and ALL of Charlotte’s confusing feelings were related to that connection. “Thank you Charlotte. I knew that you would figure this out,” she told herself confidently. 

[neshabeingchildish]

Hensley & Char: Friends or Whatever || Part 1

@henryharts @junknstu1f @ciara-knightly @sunbeameyes @kiddangers @bitchmilsky @just-a-j-reallly

I only tagged the people who expressed interest and my known ladygaze. If anybody else wants in, just let me know in your review.If I tagged you and you want out, same. Thanks. Where the story starts, they’re about 10, because I feel like in canon, we find that Jasper and Henry have been friends their whole lives, but it always seems like Charlotte’s known them less time, and the earliest I can remember is maybe 5th grade when they’re talking about something happening with Bysh? It could have been earlier whenever that girl’s birthday party Henry nearly killed her, but I only watched that episode once and that was years ago, so I’m starting them here at 10/5th grade.

Fashion Exchange Student

Hensley didn’t know WHAT she was thinking whenever she went school shopping this year. Maybe about the fact that your younger sister, Piper, the one of the two of them with an eye for fashion told her that she was going to be popular for looking like a dirty lead singer of a 90s grunge band. Hensley wasn’t sure exactly what that meant, but it got into her head and whenever they were out shopping, she dared to pick out a couple of skirts, and more unwisely, to wear one to school the first day.

Her whole outfit was emotionally uncomfortable, from the moment she spent time trying to accessorize up through the minute she figured out that she couldn't walk in anything but sneakers. So, those cute boots that Piper picked out? Hensley kept slipping with them on. She did this enough that she slipped, and barely missed an ill-placed bench wet paint and got the bottom of the skirt touched by it. 

She looked down and behind herself and tried to cover up with her backpack. Why was the paint red? People were gonna think things! She was never listening to Piper again. Who listens to their six year older sister for social advice anyway???

She supposed she could change into her gym shorts… but that might look even stupider. "Are you having a crisis?" She heard a tiny voice ask. She glanced around until she saw where the little chipmunk sound had come from. 

It was the bookworm. Starlette? No. Scarlett? Yeah. That was it. "Nope. No crisises this fine first day of class…" Hensley awkwardly lied.

After staring at what was obviously Hensley Hart having a crisis, she decided that if the girl lied, she didn’t want her help. “Okay. Because you looked pretty put out by that red paint on the back of your skirt," Scarlett said, returning to her large book, her glasses in the tip of her nose until she pushed them up.

Hensley returned to her crisis. And a crisis it WAS. She took off her pink plaid over shirt and prepared to tie it around her waist… "We don't know what kind of paint it is. You could ruin the shirt too if you put it against the paint," Scarlett told her, not looking up from the book. 

It was one of those ancient mythology young adult series, Hensley noted.. unsure of why she noted this, but shook it from her head to ask, "As the only person here right now with a brain, what do you suggest?"

"Cut off the bottom of the skirt and wear the extra as a headband," she said, with a shrug. "Or turn the skirt into a pair of shorts with a set of safety pins… paperclips if safety pins are unavailable."

"WHAT? These are my new school clothes! My mom would flip!" Hensley paced, covering her backside with her backpack, noticed a little paint had been transferred to the bag and let out a tiny shriek that made Scarlett jump. 

"Do you need help, Hensley?" She asked, once again.

"I need all the help I can get! I normally wouldn't care, but people are gonna think.." 

"That you've had a menstrual accident."

"When you say it like that, it sounds even worst! Please help me!" 

When she closed her book and put it away, she pulled out scissors, "Headband option or shorts option?"

"I don't have any safety pins."

"I do."

"You just… carry them?" Hensley asked.

"I'm a very unique size where I have to either buy clothes for much younger kids and look like a 7 year old, or be swallowed by clothes made for people our age. Safety pins hold things in place if something happens with big clothes that I haven't properly taken in, since I’m teaching myself to sew and haven’t gotten too far yet.."

"Wow. That's. Very strange…"

"Headband or shorts option??!" Scarlett practically squealed, impatient.

"Shorts!" 

Hensley allowed her mini savior to take her into the girls locker room and changed into her gym shorts while she worked. "It'll look thrown together, but you can always just say it's an upcycle aesthetic. That’s what I’ve been doing all summer and no one is the wiser yet. Also… scrape the bottom of your boots against the concrete so you can eliminate that slip."

Hensley followed instructions and then changed into the pinned together shorts which… actually were pretty cute. The scruffiness of it looked purposeful and that kind of style generally ran for hundreds of dollars in the stores, AND scuffing the bottom of her boots made them walkable. She picked up the girl and spun her around and gave her a kiss, "You are a hero, Scarlett!" 

Being caught totally off guard by being whisked up and casually smooched by a stranger was uncomfortable, but the thing that caught her attention was... "Scarlett? Did you just call me Scarlett?" Her face gave away that this was in fact NOT her name.

Hensley winced, "Is it Starlette?"

The girl frowned, "It's. Charlotte." She grabbed her bag, insulted and began to leave the locker room. Hensley grabbed her bag too and gave chase.

"Hey! I happen to think that I was pretty close."

"And I guess that would be fine if we haven't gone to school together for years!" 

"Well… I don't think I ever had the chance to know it before…"

"I sat right behind you in three classes," Charlotte complained.

Hensley laughed, "Why? Were you stalking me?" She stopped smiling whenever her short new friend turned suddenly to look her directly in the eyes with her frustrations.

"No. I was seated in the front and every teacher always had to make us shift because you would either fall asleep, get caught texting, or consistently talk to Jasper Dunlop in class." They tried to make us switch, but you always picked a seat too far away from the lesson, so the person behind me had to go to your seat instead."

"You're… kinda uptight, huh?" Hensley asked.

Charlotte turned around, an angry looking little adorable person and Hensley braced herself for tiny girl rage. 

But, it would have to wait. Because Chloe Hartman squealed and came rushing between the two of them, ignoring Charlotte completely and cheering, "Ohmygosh, Hensley! Those shorts are SO. FUN. Such fashion sense! I'm impressed. And the boots go SO WELL with the outfit! I guess you're not gonna do the Hensley Hart uniform this year!" They laughed, with Hensley blushing and Charlotte rolled her eyes and left.

Chloe intertwined her fingers with Hensley's and said, "Come sit with us! You're a cute girl now!" Chloe took Hensley with her towards where she and her friends waited for the first bells and Hensley watched Charlotte throw her hands up in disbelief, shake her head at the situation and then return to her spot to read in peace, probably vowing never to help some idiot in a crisis again. But, Hensley didn’t pull away from Chloe or go to check on Charlotte. She didn’t really know Charlotte, and she had been trying to know Chloe better since they were 8. She just choked down feeling bad about this and decided to enjoy the girls who were swooning over her new “shorts.”

.

The day went by okay. The safety pin shorts were a huge hit. She was in class with Jasper, laughing and talking as quietly as they could, with a clear view of Chloe, who kept looking back to smile at her, when Charlotte walked into the classroom with a piece of paper to hand to the teacher. "Miss Page..  you've already been asked to leave a class?" The teacher asked, looking at it.

"Are you a teacher that allows us to answer questions?" Charlotte asked as a reply. "The last teacher wasn't and I was only asked to leave because he wasn't qualified to answer my questions about the lesson plan." 

"Take a seat," the teacher said, already exhausted by the infamous student who always knew everything. 

Charlotte faced the class and saw an empty seat in front of Jasper. She bit her lip and went to sit. "Hi, Charlotte!!!" Jasper cheered. "So cool that we're in class together again! Did you… always have those glasses?"

"No," she said. 

"When'dya get 'em? This summer? Don't you go to like space camp or something for the summer? Did you get them at space camp? OH! Did you get them FOR space camp??"

"That was a lot of questions, Jasper. Yes, I got them this summer. I always go on a learning expedition every summer, not necessarily space camp… but, yes, this summer I was at space camp, where I did not get them, and I didn’t get them FOR space camp. I got them for reading…" she said, flattered that at least SOMEONE remembered something about her. In that moment, she dared a look at Hensley, who was just giving her a small, polite, slightly still embarrassed smile. She was oblivious to the fact that Charlotte had been stewing all morning that she didn’t even know her name and just left her in her upset to hang out with girls that she knew would never have paid attention to her without Charlotte’s help...

“Well, they look good on you. I also love the upcycle look of your oversized sweater with the pins… Is that an homage to Madonna?” Jasper asked, cutting into Charlotte’s revisit to Hensley’s audacity. 

“Charlotte, do I need to sit you in the front of the room?” The teacher asked. 

“Yes, please!” She cheered. She knew it was because he thought that she was talking, but she liked being in the front of the class and Jasper didn’t seem like he was going to stop talking any time soon. Charlotte collected her things, chose a seat up front and said, “He said to move it,” to Chloe. She liked to sit in the front of the class to be noticed by everyone. She barely cared about seeing the board or reading the teacher’s face and body language. And to be honest, Charlotte didn’t really realize it herself consciously, but she was mad at Chloe for interrupting her discussion with Hensley this morning and just stealing her away before things were settled.

Whenever she went to sit by Jasper and Charlotte sat up front, she heard them immediately talking, “She’s kinda mean, huh?” Chloe asked.

Jasper said, “She can be, but I don’t think that she means anything by it. She’s just not used to having to talk to people. She’s an only child and doesn’t really have friends.”

Hensley said, “I think she’s nice. She’s known for being smart, but she’s sweet too. She talks like she’s rude, but I think if somebody really needed help, she’d lend a hand.” 

The teacher got on the kids for all of their talking and they quickly quieted themselves. Charlotte looked back at Hensley. All of the kids were looking at the three who had just been scolded, but Charlotte looked at Hensley. And she looked at Charlotte. 

Hensley gave her a half smile and waved her fingers a little, hoping that maybe she’d gotten over the whole completely not knowing her name thing from earlier. Charlotte smiled and waved back, then looked at her hand in confusion, like it had done it on it’s own, without her permission. She turned around in her seat and refocused on class. 

But, that was how Charlotte Page met her future best friend, Hensley Hart.

[neshabeingchildish]

HENSLEY & CHAR: Friends or Whatever Masterpost

01. Fashion Exchange Student

02. Buddy (in My) System

03. The Danger Befriends

04. Girl Code

05. The Secret Adventures of Hensley and Char

06. The Jasper Juxtaposition

[neshabeingchildish]

Hensley & Char: Friends or Whatever || Part 2

@henryharts @junknstu1f  @just-a-j-reallly Thanks for reading/reviewing last time and here goes another...

 Buddy (in My) System

“I’ve gotten the best grades that I have ever gotten in my life working with you!” Hensley said.

“THAT’S because you have yet to do any of the work!” Charlotte complained. 

Jasper simply observed and Hensley scoffed many times, before asking Charlotte, “Well, would you prefer that I did my fair share of the work and bring down YOUR grades?” 

Charlotte opened her mouth to retort, but then shut it, out her hand on her hip, stared at Hensley and just shook her head in disappointment and disbelief at her. Hensley recoiled. She didn’t like this. This felt bad. It was like whenever her mom was about to ground her or something, and seeing Charlotte’s cute little face wrinkled in disdain, accompanied with this disapproving body language and the face, to boot. Hensley begged, “Please, never look at me like that again. I will TRY!” She promised. 

Charlotte took a deep breath and nodded her head once.

She and Hensley had been placed at project partners for the year. If there was partner work, Hensley was her partner, and if there was group work, she was in a group with Hensley and Jasper. 

This particular assignment, they were partners. Jasper’s partner was Chloe. The four of them were simply going to study together and do their work in their separate partnerships. “Why won’t the teacher let us switch?” Charlotte asked the skies.

“Rude!” Hensley said.

“I’d take JASPER over you!” Charlotte snapped.

“Really?” Jasper asked, excitedly. Hensley threw him a look. “No offense to Chloe or to you, but Charlotte’s the smartest kid in school. I’d love to change my B average!”

“You make A’s in Language Arts,” Hensley reminded him. 

“Yeah, I know, but like… I’m shooting for the A honor roll. My mom says if I can get on it, we can get a cat!” Jasper said. 

Charlotte was already setting up her workspace, at the coffee table in the Hart living room. Chloe wasn’t there yet. Charlotte suggested that she just ride along with them, but her mom didn’t want her getting into strangers’ cars… Charlotte was annoyed that her mom’s car was a “stranger’s car,” but fortunately, she wasn’t Char’s partner. Not my partner, not my problem… 

Hensley entertained, making snacks and jokes all of the study period. More than a few times, Chloe suggested that they ask the teacher if they could switch partners.  

Charlotte heard the beep of her cellphone and grabbed her things to go. "Bye, Charlotte!" They all cheered as she left. So, they DID realize that she was there. She left and went home and was finally able to work on the current project without all of the distractions. Or, so she thought.

Why was Hensley so disruptive and unfocused? Did she not care ONE BIT about any of the grades?? What if the teacher asked HER to present the information??? Charlotte gasped and began making note cards of EXACTLY what Hensley would need to say, if called upon to speak for the group. Maybe Charlotte would ask the teacher if she could partner up with Jasper for the rest of the year. His ideas were often super off and not very great, but he at least put his all into the assignments.

Hensley, on the other hand, was more concerned with getting laughs and attention and affection from Chloe. Charlotte rolled her eyes. Chloe wasn’t even that cute! Well, she was like cute in the - you could tell that she knew about trends and that she definitely cared more about her appearance and hygiene than some people did… but just physically, Charlotte didn’t see the appeal. 

She had little rodent teeth on the same face with bug eyes, and Charlotte wasn’t even drawn to her personality, so the attractiveness of her on any level - romantic, platonic, merely having to share the same space… it was nonexistent for Charlotte. She scolded herself for ragging on another girl’s looks and wondered if she hadn’t let some type of social programming prompt those thoughts. Chloe not being pretty to her specifically was not a reason for her not to understand someone else’s obsession with her. But, she couldn’t help but be aware that *blond* girls rarely had to have qualities.

Here she was, as fashionable as she believed that they came, hair game always strong, skin immaculately cared for, perfect teeth, and perfect GPA, and people overlooked her every single day. 

Being noticed wasn’t everything. In fact, her parents would tell her being noticed is a nonfactor. “Being accomplished is all that matters,” she had been hearing from her father since she was six and got 2nd place in her first competition. He didn’t feel like 2nd place was anything to be so proud of, because she “still wasn’t the best. I WAS SIX! Why does SHE have to be the best, but blond girls just have to wear a pretty outfit? ONCE AGAIN, she scolded herself.

It was a little unfair, if not slightly untrue, she guessed. She couldn’t say for sure. Statistically, she was probably right, but to sit there and research and study it - she would not. Besides, Hensley sort of muddied that idea. 

That girl wore a plaid shirt and jeans almost everyday, with an undershirt - usually something plain, barely cared about color scheme, didn’t even keep her sneaks fresh, and her hair, IF she did anything but wash it and 2 second comb through, she just threw it in a ponytail and let Chloe sort it out later, whenever the latter felt nervously embarrassed to see her friend with that mop all over her head.

But, that wasn’t really her fault. She’d let slip before to Charlotte, whenever it was the two of them, that she never learned how to do anything with her hair. Her mother, who was ALWAYS extremely pretty and put together never showed her or her younger sister how to make themselves presentable, and even Piper was learning to do it on her own. She was just better at it.

Despite that, Hensley had other charms. She was anxious, but caring. She could be self centered, but she stood up for what was right. She was infuriating to work with, but even Charlotte found it difficult not to laugh at her corny jokes. And now, she was nowhere around, and Charlotte STILL was infested with thoughts of her. BUT, maybe that expanded her original theory. Blond girls didn’t even have to wear a pretty outfit. “We’ll just take whatever blond the world throws at us, won’t we?” She shook her head and put her work away. 

.

Hensley waved at Jasper as he got into Chloe’s mom’s SUV. “It’s so nice of her to take him home. He usually has to walk. His parents never give him rides anywhere. Can’t be good for his sweating condition,” she babbled. 

Chloe smiled and shrugged, “He’s nice. I don’t mind helping out. Besides, he’s your best friend, so that means he’s a friend of mine. See you tomorrow!” She gave Hensley a kiss on the cheek and Hensley blushed, smiled and waved. 

Chloe always went along with Hensley's affectionate side, unlike Charlotte. Charlotte never even hugged her back. She just stood there, limp in her arms, looking at her like mistakes were made. It was intimidating and made Hensley be very alert and aware to try her best not to hug Charlotte much. It was sad, because hugging her was always nice for that moment that she forgot that Charlotte didn't like people just hugging her without warning. She was small and seemed to sorta fit into little spaces against Hensley's frame that usually didn't receive any contact. Plus, she smelled really good all of the time. Like coconuts and pineapples, or peaches, or bananas… something fruity and appealing. Sometimes honey.

Hensley wasn't sure why she was comparing Chloe and Charlotte. There was no comparison, really. She spent hours today trying to get Charlotte to crack a smile and take it easy for just a moment… all it seemed to do was make her more upset until Hensley just left her alone completely and hoped that she'd feel better tomorrow.

It was stressful being Charlotte's friend. She had zero others, but still acted like she didn't care to have the few that she did, and anytime Chloe was around, her irritation was heightened, though when Hensley asked her if there was a problem between them, Charlotte said that Chloe was Hensley's friend, so they didn't have to be all “buddy-buddy,” and she never even answered the question, really. Though, Hensley supposed that was the answer. Charlotte wasn’t even that buddy-buddy with her friends, so being any level of okay with others must’ve just been her way.

Still, Hensley was going to think about this randomly throughout the week… Why was it so hard for Charlotte to like her whenever everyone else clearly did?

On the way to school, Jasper said, “Hey, Hensley. Let’s stop here, I wanna get Charlotte a cupcake.”

Hensley followed him and wondered, “Why are we giving Charlotte a cupcake?”

Jasper answered with a face a tone that suggested that Hensley should know this information, “Because every time she has to do a presentation in class, she skips breakfast because public speaking makes her queasy. Then, her stomach growls until lunch because her parents have a rule about not putting food in her backpack and she follows their rules, even when they aren’t around.”

Hensley’s brown eyes went wide for a moment, then she laughed and nodded, “Right. Right. Of course, I knew that. I’m her best friend, after all.”

“Are… are you? Huh. I thought I was her best friend. Well, maybe we’re sharing,” Jasper said. “I didn’t even realize that she even liked you. You’re always upsetting her.”

“You think I upset Charlotte more than YOU do?” Hensley asked. “She punched you in the nipple just yesterday!”

Jasper held his chest with the memory of pain, “Yeah, but.. I’m sure that I’m the only person she ever actually touches on purpose. Even if it’s usually taking a swing at me for something. Wow. Charlotte’s kinda mean, huh?” He folded his arms and looked at the cupcake, contemplating eating it. “Maybe she’s the kind of girl who’s like my mom, and not the kind of girl like you.” He decided that his mom hurts him and still loves him, so Charlotte’s still his friend and he was gonna follow through with the cupcake. 

.

Charlotte gave the presentation, with Hensley cracking jokes here and there, feeding off of her energy and making the other kids laugh through what she was sure was going to be unbearably boring, otherwise. Charlotte didn’t mind, as long as all of the information was given and Hensley at least seemed to know something. Honestly, as long as the teacher didn’t ask follow up questions, because Hensley had put the cards into her back pocket and probably wouldn’t even be able to navigate them properly in the event of additional questions. Another A! And after class, Charlotte gave Hensley what she was sure that she wanted. 

“Hey, I talked to the teacher and for the rest of the year, you get to work with Chloe on partner projects and me and Jasper are gonna partner up now,” she announced, with the most cheer that Hensley had seen her exhibit probably EVER. Wow. She was really happy not to have to be her partner anymore. 

“Is this about the cupcake?” Hensley asked.

“No, but the cupcake sure was thoughtful!” She and Jasper left, talking and working out how they would do ride schedules and stuff whenever they were partners. 

“We usually go to Henley’s,” Jasper reminded her.

“Yeah, but we don’t have to anymore. That’ll cut down at least 80% of the distractions…”

“Whatever,” Hensley grumbled. 

The school year was almost over and Charlotte wasn’t going to see them for most of the summer. “I have a birthday party!” Jasper said, giving her an invitation.

“This is in July,” she said.

“That’s when my birthday is.”

“We’ll be out of school,” she said, tucking the invitation into her backpack.

“Will you be at space camp?”

“I don’t always go to space camp!” She snapped. She sighed and said, “This summer, I’m going on a geological excavation trip and a junior student council induction retreat.”

He smiled, unhappily, “It sounds like you’re making up things, now.”

She wasn’t. 

She spent her summer surrounded by kids who were a little more like her than Hensley and Jasper were, came home, relaxed a little bit, and went to Jasper’s party in July… It was… A mess. First off, his home was a nightmare, and also 15 people went to the hospital! She tried to warn people. 

“What kind of fish is in this sushi?” She asked Jasper.

“Oh, it’s turkey sushi,” he replied, coolly. 

She stared at it, sure that the meat inside of this was raw, and knowledgeable that turkey should not be eaten raw. Still, she confirmed, “So, your mom cooked some turkey and wrapped it up in sushi, because you don’t like actual sushi?”

He laughed, “Oh no, my mom didn’t do anything here. I planned and worked on everything myself. And you don’t cook sushi Charlotte.” He shook his head as though it was a silly thought… to cook the turkey that he was feeding to people. She told people that it was raw turkey in there and after the fourth person said, “Turkey sushi,” she decided that natural selection could tell them anything that they needed to know, at that point. 

But, something that she had forgotten about when she was gone resurfaced that day. She heard, “Char!” and felt herself being lifted into the air by a girl about a head taller (had she gotten a little taller this summer) and then a kiss, right on the tip of her forehead, where her hairline was. 

“Hen…” she said, less enthusiastic, but definitely amused. 

Hensley wore a “Birthday Bestie” t-shirt with tie dye and glitter and confetti. Jasper clearly made it for her and Charlotte was slightly offended that he hadn’t made her one, even though she had only really considered him a friend for like less than a year, and some cut off shorts. Hensley generally hated showing her legs. They were all scarred up from running around and playing recklessly AND they were skinny. But, she was wearing shorts today, because it was hot, and she also had her hair cut into a short style. She looked kind of like a boy, but she was much too much of a girl to look like a boy. “You look really good,” Charlotte said.

Hensley’s face brightened and she smiled wide and shrugged her shoulders, “You only think that because this haircut makes me look like a boy. All the girls that curved me before are saying that to me now.”

“The girls who did what?” Charlotte asked, then added, “Also, no. You look really good. The haircut works and it’s nice to see you in something festive and free…” Hensley simply smiled and after a while, Charlotte asked, “Wait… Did you just…?”

“Actually, right after school let out!” Hensley cheered. “Jasper helped me make the announcement on my social media.” She smiled shyly and looked at the ground, “I like girls…” 

Charlotte’s lip dropped, but in a happy surprised way and she actually was the one this time to reach out and hug Hensley. Hensley definitely grabbed her harder and held on tight. It wasn’t often that Charlotte Page started a hug. “I’m so proud of you, Hen! I didn’t know if you even knew, but the fact that you came out. That’s huge for people twice our age. At 11? That’s HUGE.” She let go and wondered, “Are you seeing anybody?” She folded her arms, trying not to look too awkward in asking this. She didn’t want Hensley to think that she was hitting on her, but she was genuinely curious about her friend’s big news.

“Nah. My mom says I’m too young to date, but when I turn 12, she’ll allow it,” Hensley cheered. 

“Did you cut your hair to…?” Charlotte didn’t know how to finish that question. 

“I let Piper cut it,” she said.

“Why do you always let that child get you into things?” Charlotte wondered.

“I DON’T KNOW! She always seems like she has every idea of what’s going on!”

“She’s a tiny person, Hensley!” Charlotte said. They both laughed and moments later, natural selection got activated. Kids started dropping left and right. A few just toppled over and held themselves. Charlotte shook her head, “I tried to tell them.”

“That turkey sushi is just raw turkey? Yeah, even I wasn’t dumb enough to eat that.” 

They walked home from the party together. Jasper’s parents kicked everyone out who wasn’t being rushed to the hospital for being violently ill. It was the first time that the two of them hung out without Jasper, and the first time they’d hung out in a while. It was cool. 

Hensley was grateful for Charlotte’s company. People were all being a little bit different with her all summer. Her dad was always trying to find gay activities that she might like, every time that he saw her. Girls were asking her, “Did you ever have a crush on me?” SOme of them were girls that she didn’t even know existed. And, Chloe sort of had been avoiding her, though whenever she saw her, the girl pretended like everything was fine. With Charlotte, everything WAS fine. She was treating Hensley like she always had. The same level of disdain for her habits. The same level of concern for things she maybe needed unsolicited advice for. She felt, at this point, all of the people who had chilled and laughed and played with her before were all sizing her up in various ways, but Charlotte? She was just… still her friend. “What?” Charlotte asked, annoyed, because Henlsey was staring at her. Same as always.

Hensley shrugged her shoulders, “I’m just glad that you’re back. I missed my best friend.” 

Charlotte fought a smile, but it happened and Hensley took great satisfaction in it. “Shut up,” Charlotte told her, but then added, “And tell me what else you and Jasper got up to this summer…”  

[neshabeingchildish]

Got my first installment of the Hensley and Char fic outlined.