#there’s only 3 x reader fanfics and I’m STARVING

[nyunnyfox]

I can’t find this nerd anywhere so I have to do it myself- || I literally copied from the fandom wiki bc idk how to actually make char ai so bear with him if ur gonna talk to him lmao || idk what else to put here, I’m insane

Edit: I forgot Tumblr hates links lol I haven’t been here in a while

[blkgirl-writing]

Hi, I saw your smut requests post and was wondering if you could write one about touch starved Gale finally being alone with reader/Tav and getting his satisfaction? (Yeah, I got inspired by your nsfw headcanons about him, how could you tell?) Please and thank you!

PS Can I be 🧀 anon?

What happened at the moon lit pond

Gale X Fem!Reader

Baldurs gate 3

It’s been, probably three years since I’ve written a full fanfic? I’ll admit I’m probably a little rusty. Thank y’all for hanging in, and I hope this fulfills our nerdy wizard boy needs. thank you so much 🧀 anon for the request! I hope you stay and request some more.

Important tags: lots of pining, some angst (no sad ending), smutty (male and female Masterbation, male giving female oral), spoilers for gales mid game story, romance, Gale is an anxious mess, The thought of gale brushing his hair from his face got me GOING 😩

Word count: 1.9k

(Part 1.5 HERE) (PART 2 HERE)

(Gale headcanons that inspired this here)

-

Gale didn’t know how to handle these new feelings for you. He makes a fool of himself everyday, it seems. He always offers you a slice of his bread, even if you gave your own, he saves some of his own morning coffee for you, since he wakes up earlier, and even warm it up for you with a spell.

He simply wanted you to like him. That would be all he needed, but anything else that may follow that would be a true blessing. Gale wanted nothing more than to make you laugh, to see your smile and know he was the reason why, to camp and be the first and last person you’d speak to before sleep.

Gale wouldn’t let his mind wander much past that, or he tried to not let it. The occasional dream would slip through where you were his, and he was yours. It simply put him in panic mode In the waking hours, trying to not be obvious, scared you’d find out, what exactly? He wasn’t sure. You were too kind to break his heart so effortlessly, like he feared you would.

Endless scenarios danced in gales head of rejection, humiliation, and what would happen if he let himself go, life he was tasked to do. It wouldn’t take much, to convince him to live. Friendship, a place to call home, even if it was ever moving. Company he could entrust his life to. It was all so appealing. Luring him into life, breathing a new passion into his purpose, one he’d lost many years ago, sometime when he was alone for so many years.

Those thoughts seemed to linger on forever, sweeping over his barely conscious brain to awaken him again, rustling him from what could be a good nights rest. Eventually, Gale decided to just get up and go for a walk.

Camp had been set up in one of the most beautiful places any of you had seen. Waterfalls tinted emerald green, sand fine and shimmering in the light, may it be sun or moon. I’m one of those waterfalls, he found you.

Waist deep in the pond. Skin and hair dripping wet, shining more than usual water would, adding a silver glow to the night. You looked better than a goddess could ever imagine, and still, his eyes never dipped below you shoulders, even though he deeply wanted to look lower. Instead, he stood there, looking like a fucking idiot, gods know how long. Maybe a tree branch snapped, or maybe you finally snapped out of your trance, but your head whipped in his direction, eyes darting across the small beach, only relaxing when you realize only gale stands before you.

“Oh, Gale, it’s just you…” you let out a deep, jagged breath, the anxiety flowing out of your body just as quickly as it racked through it.

“Just? Are you disappointed?” Gale smirked, although his heart raced in his chest, one word and he'd sulk back to camp, but gods he wanted to stay and spend the whole night with you under the stars.

“Far from it, really. I was just thinking about how much you’d enjoy this view if you were here” you tore your eyes away from Gale, focusing on the stars. “I thought it may remind you of waterdeep. You paint a very beautiful picture of home.”

“I can think of a few things much, much more beautiful than Waterdeep,” his voice low, raspier than usual. Easily explained away from the lack of sleep or old sleeping bags, not for what it really was. Deep yearning, wanting, needing.

“I’d love to see them someday, then.”

“We’ll just have to get you a mirror, then,” “All the beauty in the world would reflct

"Gale, I-" You finally looked into his eyes, he wore his heart on his sleeve, at least for a moment. Those puppy eyes, dark bust glistening in the full moonlight, his hair messy from turning in his sleep, he wanted you, in many more ways than one. Gale's emotions could never be that simple, of course.

"Well," you walked towards him, water inching lower and lower, revealing more and more of your body, yet gales eyes stayed on yours. "Why don't you join me for a swim. It's a beautiful night."

"an offer I could not refuse." Gale's face was plastered with that cocky smile, the one that could melt anyone into a puddle in seconds.

He might have been a gentleman and kept his eyes upwards, but you were not so much, Gale untied his robes, gods why were there so many damn layers? It was quite a sight, his little mannerisms that showed more of him to you than he had shown to you. He was nervous, his fingers missing the simple ties frequently, he got annoyed by his hair getting in his eyes, a grimace appearing before he swept his hair behind his ear.

Your eyes lingered on his circle smoke tattoo, his toned arms, his downright massive hands. he was more tan than you realized, To be fair, he's always covered in those loose robes, leaving you to wonder what was underneath. You were more than happy to finally be finding out. But not below the waist.

"Isn't it a bit cold to be this naked?"

"The water is warmer than the air, I promise." You extended a hand out to Gale, even though he was feet away from you. "Come on, Gale from Waterdeep being afraid of some cold water? Sounds redundant."

"You got me there." He finally stepped into the glimmering pond surrounded by rocks and sand, enough to have your own little corner, to lessen the echo if it was needed. The whole camp didn't need to know all of your business. It must've been a magical lake, as both you and Gale noted separately. Unnaturally still, even when you moved freely, small glowing lights pooled at your sides, occasionally bubbling into the air once you leaned against a large, bright rock.

"May I ask what you were doing out here at this hour?" Gale spoke, still much further away from you than he wanted to be,

"Can I not take a mid-night swim?" You raised your brows in a questioning glance his way "A woman needs time to herself. These days and nights have been very stressful."

Gales very audible oh, slipped through the silence. "You don't have to relax alone." His eyes finally gave in to the need, scanning your body with a low moan slipping past his lips. His excitement was immediate, brushing against your lower stomach all the way past your navel.

"You've wanted this." You stated, brushing your hand against his thigh.

"There's plenty of magic around us, I want the Gale right in front of me." You dared to inch even closer, his thigh fully slipping between yours, inches away from touching your pussy. His hands floated inches from your waist, "Let me give you everything"

"Give me everything" With that, Gale's hand grabbed your waist, gently guiding you onto his thigh, motioning your hips down and swaying only him. The sensation sent sparks flying through his body, you were right in front of him, completely bare and rocking with pleasure onto him. Better than any dream he'd thought up, any fantasy that ran through his head even at the most inappropriate of times. Yes even during the throws of battle. Even in hard times like that, he was so drawn to you.

Gales other hand came up to your jawline, tilting your head so he could latch his mouth around your neck. Deep marks left behind while he inches his way in hickeys up your neck, jaw, and finally to your lips. Any semblance of anonymity flew out the window, not a single person could miss what he gave you, artfully placed dark spots painting your skin. "I have never seen such a beautiful being in my life"

"I could say the same about you gale," You said betwixt breathy moans, picking up the pace of your grinding hips against his thigh, his hand on your waist moving between a tight grip on your ass, and a light but so effective caress of your clit. Every time you got so close, his fingers moved, he was teasing you. His cocky smirk felt even through his kiss.

"I want you to come on my mouth." As if he was reading your slightly frustrated thoughts, "I want to taste you in my dreams."

All you could manage was a frantic nod, a mumbled yes, and shakily hoisting yourself up onto a rock that was perfect for gales pretty head to be between your thighs. Gale pushed your thighs apart with one hand, which stayed firmly grabbing onto you. The other sneaked up your thigh, tracing patterns along your skin. "Gale, please," you whispered out of pure desperation. The only warmth coming from your feet still in the water, otherwise your skin exposed to the biting air.

"All you had to do was ask, my lady" Gales fingers easily slid into you, curling up and pumping in and out, while he leaned into your pussy, maintaining eye contact as he placed one kiss just to the right of where you needed him to be. All he needed was to be touched, to touch you. Your legs wrapped around him to get Gale even closer, urging him closer.

"Touch yourself" Barely a whisper, but Gale caught it, and certainly didn't need to be told twice. Secretly, he could cum from this alone, your taste, how soft you were, how loud you could get. It was more than enough to orgasm right there with you, however, that is not exactly how he wanted your first sexual experience to go. His hand clutching your thigh came to his cock, rubbing much faster and harder than he was fingering you. he was eager. He wanted this to last forever, he wanted you to cum again and again and again into his mouth. He wanted his face even more dripping from your juices.

"Gale I can't hold it-" You nearly screamed, his tongue swirling and sucking, lightly biting, it was almost too much. Then, he moaned. A loud, deep moan and that was it. Vibrations running through your body from his mouth. there noise that left your mouth could've been heard across Baldurs gate, you silently thanked this magical pound for being so secluded, as you would be borderline embarrassed if people heard. Gales didn't come back up for hair until he was sure you were finished, getting every last drop of you.

"You certainly are loud" Gales tone was so smug it almost made you laugh. You gripped onto his shoulders as he swept you down from the perch, pressing his whole body to yours. After all that, after her definitely came, he was still so hard, and so pressed against you that you couldn't help but gasp. "I want to hear that again."

"Hear what, exactly?" you teased, lifting a finger to trace his chest.

"To hear you cum," his lips dipped down to your ear, slightly nibbling on it, before he rasped "and to feel you on my cock."

-

Part two, here

(Requests Open)

[wealllovemilo64]

Needy drunk! Part 4 Jotaro?

Jotaro and reader are coworkers, and they had a celebration party for the success of an experiment with the department and all.

Now, here, jotaro is divorced and has a share custody with his ex wife about jolyne.. And the reader, a newcomer whos maybe 2-3 years younger (male), somehow piqued his interest. Maybe how the reader talks to him in a gentle caring voice, how he would comfort him if he notices jotaro upset more than usual, or always being by his side. Regardless he was needy and head over heels over reader, despite his stoic disinterested, and rude manner towards him. Yet you still stayed with him.

And during this party. Jotaro drank a bit too much alcohol, and got a bit drunk...which is unusual. Jotaro doesn't get drunk easily but the alcohol is quite strong. His brows furrowed and unshed little tears beside his eyes with a blush on his face. How cute.

Because of the alcohol and the years of loneliness, just feeling your touch and gentle voice asking him if he's okay already sends jotaro to a loophole of neediness, pawing at your clothes, begging for you. (guess he was THAT touched starved.)

Surprised nonetheless,you granted his wish. .. A few moments later, at one of the bathroom stalls of the department, there is a certain someone blowing jotaro's back, pounding onto him from the back and your dick touching all of his sweet spot. Jotaro was feeling immense pleasure, heightened sensitivity all thanks to the alcohol. Evident by the tears running down his face, his mouth apart. Holding the walls for dear life as you kept on pounding him, hat, pants, coat.. All gone. He was vulnerable and naked under you.

Jotaro was pretty, that was the reader's opinion when he first met jotaro. He was glad he worked beside him. And seeing jotaro moaning and crying about how much he loves him, how many times he was jerking off to him, how he feels. You were glad *VERY* glad, being able to see jotaro in this position is heavenly and you were enjoying every second of it.

(Sorry if this is a bit long.. And if you could, please turn this into a fanfic or a scenario is fine too :) ...and if you accept anons, may i please be ⁉️ anon?)

OMGGGG! THIS IS THE BEST THING I’VE EVER READ! (i’m so happy i got a new anon, hearts for u ⁉️ anon 🫶🏾)

I hope you don’t mind that i turned it into a fan fiction!

———————————————————

Needy!Sub!Drunk Part 4 Jotaro x Dom Male Reader

Content: Alcohol use, Anal Penetration, Semi-Public sex, Sex while under the influence, Crying (Jotaro), Creampie, Hickeys/Bites, Office Job AU, More Modern AU (Laptops and phones)

———————————————————

It was late at night and Jotaro was sitting in his cubicle, typing away on his laptop like normal. The bags under his eyes were dark and deep, from all the stress he was dealing with and the constant workload that was on him. It wasn’t easy being a divorced single dad with a daughter who usually wanted to be with his ex wife and not him. He had no one to turn to for comfort, no one he could talk to in such trying times. That is, until you came along. You always went out of your way to be kind and caring with him, which made his stomach flutter. You would peer over your cubicle into his, making funny faces and distracting him from his work on his laptop. He always felt like he could genuinely smile when he was around you.

You two were both working the late shift one night, until Jotaro got a phone call. He picked up the phone, only to be met with the angry voice of his wife like usual. She was calling to beat him down with words once again, to tell him how he wasn’t doing his part for Jolyne and stuff like that. He felt so exhausted, but he listened just in case something had happened to Jolyne. After she was done she hung up herself, and Jotaro slowly set his phone down. You didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but you had inadvertently heard the whole conversation. You slowly rose from your swivel chair and walked around to Jotaro’s cubicle, placing a gentle hand on his back.

“Hey..you okay?”

Jotaro stayed silent and only gave a nod in response, to which you responded by getting down on your knees in front of him. Tucking a piece of hair behind his ear as you gave him a genuine, gentle look.

“You know you can always talk to me, right? You don’t have to pour your whole life story out to me, but whatever’s on your mind you can talk to me about if you need to.”

Your words made Jotaro feel warm inside, but he looked down at his lap so it wouldn’t show on his face. He nodded, trying to keep a level head as he muttered out a sentence.

“Thank you..it means a lot, [Y/N].”

You smiled, about to respond to him before a couple of your other coworkers burst through the door. All triumphant as they jumped around and laughed together. You immediately rose to your feet, confused on what was happening. Jotaro rose as well and you both went over to them.

“What’s going on?”

You asked. One of your coworkers responded to you with a smile.

“It worked! The experiment was a success!”

The rest of your coworkers continued to jump around and celebrate with each other as you and Jotaro were visibly surprised.

“We’re celebrating at the bar down the street, cmon!”

One of them said before they all hurried out of the room and began leaving the office. You got visibly excited as you turned to Jotaro.

“Did you hear that? We get to party!”

Jotaro saw your excitement as he too was excited as well, though it didn’t show on his face. He smiled at your happy face, almost getting lost in just staring at you since he admired how you looked when you were happy. You didn’t wait for his response before you started pulling him out of the office and down to the bar. Once you two got in, you and Jotaro went to sit at the bar. You both ordered some drinks, just chatting about how exciting the new advancement for the department was and other small things. It wasn’t long before Jotaro was wasted, he only had 2 drinks but the alcohol was rather strong. You however, had hardly finished your first glass so you were still pretty sober. You laugh at Jotaro’s drunk state, it was funny how he couldn’t even form a coherent sentence as his words slurred together. You stopped laughing as you watched Jotaro lean forward and grab at your shirt, looking up at you with half-lidded eyes.

“W-*hiccup*..w-want youuuuusss..”

You were surprised at his sudden touchy behavior, to which you blushed and gently pushed him back.

“Jotaro, we’re in public-“

Jotaro wasn’t listening to a word you said as he leaned forward and started trying to kiss you. You sighed as you got down from the stool and slung Jotaro’s arm over your shoulder, starting to walk to the bathroom with him. You pulled him into a stall and locked the door before you pressed him up against the wall, connecting your lips before he had a chance to say anything. Jotaro messily kissed you back, the taste of alcohol mixing in both of your mouths as your tongues clashed together. Jotaro was already beginning to undo your shirt as you made out, breaking away for just a brief moment to pull it over your head. You did the same to his shirt and you went back to kissing, until both of you were completely naked. You pulled away from the kiss, watching the string of saliva between you two before you turned Jotaro around and bent him over. He gripped onto whatever he could, though the wall was really his only option. You were about to prep him before he stopped you.

“A-..already..*hiccup*..loooose..”

Jotaro turned his head to the side, a very obvious blush tinting his cheekbones as he looked at you from the corner of his eye. You were surprised, realizing that Jotaro had been playing with himself at some point and was already loosened up. You smirked, leaning down close to his ear as you whispered against it.

“Were you touching yourself to the thought of me, Jotaro..~?”

Jotaro had sobered up a bit more now, actually able to hear what you were saying now. Giving a slow nod to your voice as his blush only grew darker. You chuckled at the sight, hoping that you were the only person who would ever be able to see him in such a vulnerable state. You didn’t waste anymore time as you spread Jotaro’s ass cheeks with your hands, starting to insert your already erected cock. Jotaro let out a surprised gasp as only the tip had entered, visibly oversensitive from the effects of the alcohol. You were eager to be inside of him already but you were heavily holding back since you didn’t want to tear his ass. You definitely weren’t small and it wasn’t easy to get inside Jotaro’s hole even though it was loosened up. Jotaro cupped a hand over his mouth, trying to contain his moans as he finally felt your cock make its way all the way inside of him. He could feel the tip already throbbing against his prostate as you let him have a second to adjust. He nodded, giving you the go ahead to start moving. You pulled out a little bit before starting up a somewhat slow pace, but you were being a bit hard with your thrusts. Jotaro let out loud moans and whimpers into his hand, the other gripping the wall tightly. You gritted your teeth together as you let out some grunts yourself, Jotaro’s hole was so tight and wet, not to mention he clenched around you like a fucking vice. It wasn’t long before you were thrusting in at a harsh pace, hitting his prostate just right. Jotaro was definitely sober now, his hand falling from his mouth as he failed to contain his moans. The feeling of you driving against his g-spot made his eyes roll into the back of his head. You loved this sight of Jotaro, taking a mental picture in your mind that you would save forever. The tears streaming down Jotaro’s red cheeks was something you would never ever forget. You couldn’t help but lean down and leave some marks on his shoulders and all down his back and his neck, just to ensure he was yours and yours only. All Jotaro could think of was you and how you were absolutely destroying him. He cried out your name, loud moans and whimpers cutting off his sentence as he blabbered on about how much he loved you and wanted you so badly.

“F-..Fuckkk, [Y/N]! I love you s-soooo..m-muchhh..!”

Jotaro’s words only urged you on to keep pounding him into nothingness. Jotaro could feel his climax approaching, moaning out in slurs that he was close. You knew you were close too as you clenched his waist and slammed harder.

“Let’s cum together Jotaro..”

Jotaro nodded, his moans getting more frequent before white spurts of cum shot out of his erect cock and onto the floor. You finished off not too long after him, stuffing him full to the brim with your seed as you let out a loud grunt. Jotaro panted heavily, trying to recollect himself as you leaned down and peppered kisses along the side of his face and his neck. Grazing over the previous marks you left while you were fucking him as you wrapped your arms around his waist and hugged him from behind.

“I love you too, Jotaro..so so so much.”

[booglyoogly13]

Don’t Blame Me ~ Rafe Cameron x Reader (Mafia/Mob Au/ Areanged Marriage)

Part 3

Hi!! This is my first ever fanfic, I hope whoever reads it likes it 🫶

Warnings: asshole as shit rafe, a little implication to sex

Word count: 1136

I’m so so sorry everybody, I know I said smut this chapter but I’ve decided to make the whole next chapter smut. Again I’m so sorry pookies 🫶 but be be ready because chapter 4 is wow, just wow 😏

Part 2

not my gif, creds to the owner!!

I sit up off the floor and sigh, wiping my eyes and standing up. I open the door and look around, when I don’t see Rafe I leave my room and walk down the stairs, back to the library. I knock on the door this time, an older woman opens the door, “What do you want?” I pinch my eyebrows together at her tome but brush it off, “I came in this morning but there was a meeting so I thought I would knock before I came in this time.” I smile trying to lighten the tension but she just rolls her eyes and let’s me in, “Just be quiet.” I nod and walk over to a shelf in the corner and look at the books, I grab Pride and Prejudice. A book I’ve read I don’t even know how many times and smile finding comfort in something I know for the first time since I got to this house. I thank the lady and leave, not knowing where to go but not staying in there with her cruel eyes staring at me.

I remember wanting to explore the garden the night before and decide that that’s what I’ll do. I find a door that leads outside and walk for a little while, looking at the beautiful scenery. I find a little swinging bench and sit opening my book. For the first time since I got here I feel at peace, I feel comfortable and happy. I read for hours, basking in the sun and enjoying Jane Austen’s amazing writing. It becomes sun down too soon and I get up knowing I can’t stay here forever, I make the trek back to the house and compose myself before walking in. I head to my room to put my back there so I can finish it later and see Rafe, standing at the top of the stairs, “Hi,” I say as neutrally as possible, not sure if he will shoot me or ignore me. He walks down the stairs slowly, looking at me the whole time, “Hello,” his voice is friendly but his eyes tell a different story, “How was your day Princess?” He reaches where I’m standing at the bottom of the stairs and smiles at me cruelly. I look at him wondering why he’s being any type of nice but brush it off, “It was good, I read a lot. I’m really hungry too.” I laugh a little, Rafe’s face remains unamused, “Then you shouldn’t have wasted so much time reading, huh?” I nod but stay quiet, not wanting to make him angry. Rafe’s face lightens up, “You know what? I’ve got something for you to eat.” I look at him skeptical but nod, “Ok.”

He flicks his hand to follow and I do, too hungry to question anything. I follow behind him, looking around at the amazing house. He opens a swinging door and I realize it’s a kitchen, “You can eat my leftovers Princess,” he says it like it’s charity. I give him an angry look, done acting so nice tonight, “I’m not eating your leftovers Rafe. That’s gross.” He shrugs and laughs at my discomfort, “Then don’t eat, starve and see if I care.” I roll my eyes and walk out of the kitchen, not rolling over and eating his fucking leftovers. I walk back out to the garden, it seeming to be the only good thing in this house. I go back to my bench and fall asleep in the cool summer breeze and swinging my bench like a crib.

I wake up an hour later and jump, Rafe standing over me, an angry expression on his face, “I- Hey Rafe.” His fist clenches, and his nose twitches, “What are you doing out here Y/n?” I look at him, surprised, that he gives a shit. I sit up and yawn, “Must’ve been wicked tired,” I laugh a little, trying to brush it off. He scoffs, “Was that a joke?”, he looks at me disgusted, “It wasn’t funny.” I sigh and stand up, looking at him pleadingly, “What do you want from rafe? What does this do for you, how does this benefit you?”, I look at him, begging him to tell me why he’s such an ass. “I don’t need to explain myself to you, you’re my wife and you’ll take what I tell you to take. Do you understand?” I look at him, confused, “No I don’t understand Rafe! Technically I’m your wife, and neither of us had a choice in this, so why don’t you just treat me like your wife! Act like you love me and I’ll act like I love you, because there’s nothing we can do about this.” I look at him with tears in my eyes, needing him to say yes, but all he does is smile at me, “You don’t get to be treated like my wife, I don’t want you near me, I’m not your friend, I’m not your husband, and I won’t treat you differently.” I nod, “Ok.” My nod seems to soften him a little and smiles at my nod, “If you had understood that earlier then we wouldn’t be having this problem.” I look at him, unsettled at this whole conversation. I realize that he could make my life even worse so I sigh and ask, “How do you want me to act Rafe?” He sighs and shakes his head, “Just be quiet and don’t cross me, ok?”, he smiles down at me, “Is that simple enough for you Princess?”

I stand there in silence for minutes, thinking of how to fix this and I come to my conclusion, “There must be a way I can make this good for you. I can make it good rafe please. I’ll be good and I’ll do good.” He smiles at my plea and a coldness trickles into his voice again, “What the fuck would you do, make this good for me?” He smirks at me, thinking I would never offer anything of me, “Please Rafe. I’ll do anything.” I grab his hand and look at him, begging. He stares at me for what feels like forever before nodding, “Anything?”, he raises his eyebrow, “Anything to make me happy?” My eyes light up at him, “Yes, I would Rafe.” He nods his head and takes my hand, bringing me inside.

I follow, or moreover am dragged, behind him. I look at the back of his head wondering where he’s taking me, when he reaches the stairs I know and I stop. He stops in front of me and turns around slowly, “Thought you said anything Princess?” I look at him stunned, and then remember that I practically told him that I’d have sex with him to make him happy. Great, nice one.

Taglist:

@sublimepenguinpeach-blog

[tmntxthings]

Hi! I really adore your writing!! I was wondering when you’re not busy if you could write a leo x reader oneshot where the reader has been feeling kind of touch starved lately and has resorted to reading fanfics when the turtles are out doing things? I thought it would be a kinda nice hurt(not really)/comfort concept, but I’m not great at writing myself, haha! Thank you for your time!

∑一Fanfic Tease。・゜・

author’s note: anon you are the sweetest, i hope this oneshot finds you well and this is kind of close right? I think I went off the deep end with this one, thank you for your support and request <3

warnings: lots of fluff, cursing, teasing, young love

『 donnie’s 』

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“Hello hello??” Leonardo said into his phone as he was running with his brothers jumping from rooftop to rooftop. “I’m here!” You said as you scrolled through your tumblr feed, you had put Leo on speaker as soon as he called, trying to find something good to read.

“Sorry I had to portal out like that, all the mutants we’ve faced decided to team up so I don’t think I’ll be back for awhile” you could hear the wind whistling in the background. “I know, you don’t need to apologize Lee, you’re a hero go and defeat the bad guys! And please try not to get hurt,” you added on hopefully. “I’ll come back with a badass scar just for you,” he teased.

“Leo! That’s not what I-“ a loud crash could be heard and then some static. “Hello?!” Your voice raised in worry, “all good!” Leo groaned, “gotta go!” and then the phone call ended. Your heart was pounding and you told yourself that the turtles dealt with all kinds of crazy shit. Loud crashes were normal, yep a normal day in the life of a ninja.

You blew out a breath, hoped for everyone’s safe return, and distracted yourself. Which you had become pretty good at that, reading was your solace, when a story was good enough you could literally read for hours on end. Lately the patrolling and hero duty had taken a lot of time away from you and Leo. He’d get to your place and five minutes later he’d get a call or the voice channel tech on his wrist would blow up with his brother’s voices.

This had been the fourth time this week and Leo usually never called you right after portaling, maybe it had shown on your face how disappointed you were. The plan had been a movie night, and five minutes into the movie, (quite seriously you had paused it to see how far the both of you had gotten) and he was portaling away promising to finish it with you later.

You had just gotten comfortable in each others arms too. Your heart panged, it had been even longer since something like that had happened. Or maybe not, truly you couldn’t remember and yet you felt guilty, guilty for feeling so needy. The only thing that made you feel half better was a good fan fiction and tumblr was usually your go-to. You searched up hurt/comfort fics and got to reading.

You’d start smiling as the characters would be there for each other in the end, show so much passion and love for one another. It warmed your heart and made you feel so so happy, you were kicking your feet at one particular cute scene when a blue circle formed above your bed. “Incoming!!” Leo yelled as he front flipped into his portal and almost crushed you.

“Leo!” You said exasperated falling off your own bed. “Whoops! My bad,” he chuckled as he peered over the edge of your bed to see your fallen figure on the ground. You looked up at him and couldn’t stop the small smile, happy he was back and happy he looked uninjured. You stood up and Leo rolled over, making room for you to get back in bed. “Oh what do we have here?” Leo said as he felt your phone underneath his shell. He picked it up, seeing it was still unlocked and open on a story, he cleared his throat, “My darling, you know that I would cross galaxies if it meant I could be with you, then he leaned in impossibly closer, looking down at your lips asking silently for your permission, you’re eyes said it all as he claimed-“

“LEONARDO STOP IT!” Your skin went a few shades darker with embarrassment as you lunged for your phone. But Leo being the little annoying shit that he is, kept on reading, holding the phone away from you “-your lips in a warm embrace and it was everything you had dreamed it would be, soft and warm yet you could feel his burning passion for you,” Leo looked smugly at you and you decided the time for action was now. You got on top of his plastron effectively stunting his escape and eventually stopped his waving arm as you pried your phone from his three green fingers.

You huffed, locking the phone and shooting Leo the death glare. He was looking up at you, smirking, he was always so freaking cocky! Yet as the two of you had a staring match you could see a slight hint of a blush just underneath his bandana. “Sooo” Leo said looking down at where your legs were straddling him and was it possible to feel even more embarrassed?! You yelped and jumped off of him quickly, accidentally kicking him, “okay, I may have deserved that one,” he sputtered as he tried to regain his composure.

“Oh I’m sorry did I kick you ?” You said looking at his plastron and not seeing any bruises. “It’s fine,” Leo said laughing, “must’ve really embarrassed you huh?” You glowered again, all concern gone, “You think? I climbed all over you with no regard to get you to stop!” and then you sighed, turning away from him. “Aw Y/n I was just teasing, it sounded like a.. great story!” He said enthusiastically. “But isn’t it kinda cheesy?” he added on unable to help his questioning as to why.

“Not to me, it’s so romantic and,” you stopped short feeling your ears warm, “and?” Leo said scooting closer to peer over your shoulder to see your face. “I don’t know, just drop it!” You felt the all consuming blush take over again. “Darling~” Leo cooed and you looked at him to see he was blushing furiously too, “I’d portal across the entire universe if it meant I could be next to you.. watching our favorite movies,” he smiled down at you slightly embarrassed cause it was just so cheesy to him.

But to you it made your heart melt, especially since he said it so seriously. But then he goes on unable to stop himself from ruining a sweet moment, “then he leans closer,” but wait-! He really was leaning closer, your eyes widened and he looked like he was trying to act like he’d done this before, “silently asking for your permission,” but as he looked to your eyes he didn’t know what a ‘yes look’ was so as the seconds ticked on, you initiated despite feeling so flustered,

it was a soft, sweet kiss that was fleeting and chaste. You leaned back and opened your eyes to see Leo grinning, “well I can see the appeal,” he murmured as he leaned back in for one more. Maybe you’d have to leave your fan fiction up and open on your phone more often..

[carusolikey]

The Blue Hour

a Max Phillips & Bloodsucking Bastards FanFic

Chapter 3: This is the Skin of a Killer, Bella

This week on 'The Blue Hour' - a Max Phillip's vampire always pays their debts. We’re finally going to learn the true definition of a Peña Colada (get your notebooks ready, this will be on the final), and we’ll be playing a tricky game of “Are You Smarter Than a Twilight Vampire?” Reader beware, you're in for graphic fare!

Pairing: Max Phillips of Bloodsucking Bastards x afab!fem!reader

Rating: Explicit / NSFW 18+ (No Minors)

Author’s Note: I wrote this piece during the month of April 2024 - Adenomyosis Awareness Month, and the idea came to me during March 2024 (Endometriosis Awareness Month). This will not have any type of pregnancy kink, but will touch on infertility of OC due to the aforementioned; canon for this story is also that Vampires are infertile - there will be no Renesmé. OC is intended to be around the same age as Max, reader’s choice up or down, but no age gap. Because older afab/fem lovers are sexy - we drink and we know things.

Warnings: This will continue to be a blanket coverage of this point forward.

A bit of rough sex/smut (fingering, fem penetration - P in V, oral [m + f receiving]), food play, 18+ only content, able bodied fem afab reader, alcohol consumption, non-gendered pet names, fem can be carried and has hair - though length is not mentioned, consensual "bondage", some use of y+n - but not explicitly, though consensuality is implied and intended through actions and reactions, no protection used for Vampire reasons TBD (be wise and always use protection, this is fiction). Did attempt to stay away from gendered pronouns and nicknames, although did use the word woman, 3 times throughout the entire piece (not fully published yet) referring to OC. Discussion of history of endo / adeno, and future chapter will mention previous relationship / SA; there will also be Vampire hunting, murdering, and blood….sucking bastards.

Wordcount: 8k + a few, but who's counting?

Return to the Masterlist!

Shaking my head, I tried to pretend like I didn’t just wake up with a pillow tightly squeezed between my legs, and let out a huge, exasperated sigh, screaming a little bit into the pillow my head laid upon.

“Siri, play My Song 5 by Haim.”

“I’m sorry, I’m having trouble connecting to the internet.” 

“Gaaaah!” I groaned in anguish. “Fine. I’ll do it the hard way.”

Opening up Spotify on my phone, I flipped to my mega, 78 hour and 53 minutes long playlist and searched, clicking on the song I wanted.

The rough beat perfectly matched my grumpy mood at waking up so unreasonably horny. Dammit, I thought to myself, I cannot be this starved for the Vitamin D.

I got out of bed and noticed Mr. Rochester, forlornly abandoned on the floor. Oooh, better wash him off. 

As I gave Mr. Rochester a thorough scrub, laying him on a clean hand towel on the side of the bathroom sink, I felt my stomach grumble. Whew - I guess Max really did give me a workout last night! I blushed, grinning to myself as I thought of his charming grin with its dimple, the way he looked up at me, as I pulled on his tie - the feeling of straddling him as I sat on his lap, facing him. 

Quickly giving my face a wash and brushing my teeth, I tried to put those thoughts out of my head. Once I was done in the bathroom, I put on a robe and went straight into the kitchen - opting to start my day with Yerba Mate instead of coffee.

Oh, dear. You must have it bad, if coffee is reminding you too much of his eyes. I shook my head, trying to think of what I might do with my day off instead. Books to catch up on? Poetry to write? Call my sister? No. She can always tell when something’s up with me. Call my mom? Maybe - she loves telling me about the latest hometown gossip, and I can just listen while I do something productive, like - OH! That hat I need to finish knitting! Perfect. 

After making some toast with peanut butter and strawberry jam, and enjoying a bowl of fresh strawberries and blueberries, I was just about to call my mom when a text popped up from Max. It was a gif of Ryan Reynolds making a sassy come hither face, with the words, “you up?” flashing underneath. 

I giggled to myself and texted him back, “Yes, Ryan Reynolds. I am.”

Immediately the text dots popped up, and Max’s response came through, “Mind if I stop by? I believe I have something that belongs to you.”

Looking down at my robe and silk set, I had to think for a moment, “Uh, I’m not dressed yet, if you want to give me 10-15 minutes?”

Almost instantaneously, Max’s reply came through, “Don’t get dressed on account of me.” Followed by a prompt knock on the door that caused me to spill tea over a small portion of the dining table.

“Oh, no.”

I jumped up and reached over the kitchen bar for paper towels, calling out, “I’ll be right there!”

Unwrapping about 20 towels from the roll, which was significantly more than needed, I cleaned up the spill as quickly as possible, then hurriedly tossed the paper towels in the trash. Finally, I headed straight to the door while adjusting my hair and checking my teeth on my phone camera. Alright, that’s as good as it gets! I opened the door, and Max was leaning against the door frame - his grin pulled up to one side, dimple on full display, better than I remembered.

Mr. Vilallonga’s door was open, but he had his hand over his eyes as he picked up yet another package, already apologizing, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry….” 

“I told him that he has to do that from now on.” Max smiled a big toothy grin, his eyes crinkling, as he stepped away from the door frame and entered the apartment.

He closed the door behind him as he gave me a kiss on the forehead.

Laughing, shocked at Max’s gall and a little impressed that he went to such lengths to ensure that I wouldn’t be caught in the same compromising position again - my hand instinctively went to my forehead, as I shook my head and ran my fingers through my hair.

“It’s okay. He likes it.” Max assured me, giving me another kiss on the cheek and the neck.

As he straightened up, I realized that he was holding a bouquet of white orchids and white magnolias. They smelled absolutely wonderful, fragrant and sweet like a bakery in the morning - a bit of vanilla, with a hint of citrus and honey, and the musky scent of lemon-verbena. 

“Is this the thing that belongs to me?” I asked, my tone of voice betraying me, revealing my surprise and delight immediately.

“Well, it’s - part - of the thing that I believe belongs to you. It’s sort of an apology.” Max scrunched up his nose, looking a little self-conscious. That’s funny, I thought, never thought I’d see him with that look on his face.

I took the flowers into the kitchen, giving them a happy inhale, as Max followed closely behind. Opening a cabinet next to the sink, I let my eyes roam until I spotted what I was looking for on one of the top shelves. Hmm… a bit high. Max reached above me and grabbed the deep red, clear glass vase.

“Thank you!”

“Anytime.”

He smiled down at me, and then leaned on the counter as I trimmed the ends of the flowers before placing them in the vase. As I arranged the last flower, he pulled out a small box he’d had tucked under his arm.

“I believe I owe you a debt.”

“What??” looking at him, confused, I hesitantly took the small, thin blue box. He raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms, waiting for me to open it.

Carefully, cautiously, I gave a light tug on the ribbon, which easily gave way and then set it on the counter. I took off the lid and folded back the tissue paper, biting my lip as I laid eyes on the loveliest vintage silk, teal and black lace silk bra. My mouth slightly agape, I set down the box, holding up the bra and admiring it.

“There’s more,” Max nodded towards the box on the counter, and I eagerly peered into the box.

“Oh, really?” I asked, giving him a cheeky little laugh.

Inside the box was a matching garter of the same vintage teal silk and black lace, and a pair of black thigh highs with the seam going up the back.

“They should fit, if you want to try them on,” Max gazed at me expectantly.

“So vampires have the ability to actually size people up by looking at them? That’s a thing?” I asked him dubiously.

“Well –” he began, a bit apprehensively, “I did grab your moderately destroyed lingerie this morning, when you left the room, so that I could replace it with the correct size. I felt pretty bad about wrecking it. Even though I loved it in the moment - sorry?”

He shrugged his shoulders, and to be honest, his apology was very half-hearted, and I had the distinct feeling that it wasn’t going to be the last time he ripped an item of clothing off my body. At least judging by the playful glint in his eye.

“Tentatively forgiven, Max. Tentatively.”

Squinting at him, I continued, “I reserve the right to rescind that absolution should the crime be repeated. In which case, recurrent offenses may be subject to increased punishments and fines. As per prevailing statutes regarding Lingerie Law.”

“Oh, of course. Lingerie Law - that’s closely related to Bird Law, right?”

“Obviously. The fact that you even have to ask.” I scoffed at him.

He laughed, and then took both of my hands in his, locking his eyes with mine, “Please try on the lingerie. Please.”

“Of course.” I felt my cheeks flush, and Max leaned in, kissing me on the lips - gentle, sweet, but firm in their resolve to get me good and kissed.

Gathering up the box of lingerie, tissue paper, ribbon, I took it with me into my bedroom and closed the door behind me. Inspecting the contents of the box, I was struck not only by how tasteful the lingerie was, but how it was really exactly my style. It was weird to feel… so seen by something so - simple? Naughty? Sexy? 

Putting it on, it fit perfectly, and it felt very nice as it hugged all of my curves in all of the right spots. I looked in the mirror and felt a little bit like Bettie Page, it was empowering.

Taking the ribbon from the box, I tied it in my hair like a headband. It felt like I was missing something, so I took a look in my closet, a smirk crossing my face as my eyes strayed toward the perfect accessories. 

Walking out of my bedroom in some patent leather Mary Jane style shoes and a lovely long red floral robe draped over my shoulders, letting the lingerie peek-a-boo through, Max looked up - immediately dropping his crossed arms, standing up straighter, and his jaw dropping slightly.

“What, this old thing?” I teased.

“Yeah. Yes. That old thing.” He walked over to me, taking my hand and bringing it up above my head, giving me a twirl, “Max likey. Max likey a lot.”

“Oh! So I’ve earned third person accolades?”

“Uh-huh.” Max kept nodding and spun me into his arms. As his eyes washed over me, he dazedly continued, “I have something else I want to share with you.”

“Something else?” I asked, incredulously. What more could he have for me? This felt like quite enough. Although, I was curious. Dammit. Damn my curiosity.

He stepped back, and reached into the inside pocket of his jacket, sitting on one of the dining table chairs. I had no idea what to expect, but I certainly was not prepared for what he presented to me.

“What do you think of this?” He smirked, “They were just going to throw these out at work!”

It was an old school label maker. The really old kind that had a dial for the letters, and for each letter you had to squeeze the handle very tightly in order to get it to make an impression on the label tape. They were a pain to use, but to be fair, those types of label makers always made the wickedest labels.

“Okay, that’s actually pretty cool, Max.” I admitted, “But what made you think of me when they were getting rid of it?”

“Well, I was thinking it would be helpful - we could use it to label our relationship.”

“Label the relationship? How do you mean?” intrigued, I wanted to hear where he was going with this.

“As in–” he started punching letters into the label maker, “EXACTLY–” punch, punch, punch, “what–” punch, punch, punch – punch, punch, “I–” punch, punch, “said.” punch. 

He finished, very satisfied with himself, and held up the finished product - a label that said, “Max’s Favorite”, with a huge smile on his face. Max immediately pulled off the protective paper on the back, and stuck the label on my forehead.

Admiring his work aloud, “Perfect.”

I felt a bit less sexy with a label on my forehead.

Max was all in on the label maker, he kept punching in more letters, and the next thing he came up with was, “Best Kisser,” putting it right on my chin. Followed by, “Sexiest Décolletage,” just below my clavicles, “Stinkiest In a Good Way,” on my neck, “Most Likely to Be Bitten by a Vampire,” on my wrists. 

And then he got really excited and asked me, “Where’s Mr. Rochester?” 

Confused, I gave him the downlow, the lowdown, the 411, the fax - no printer, the webmd, the no cap, “Mr. Rochester has retired to the bath - he’s taking a day off.”

“Good!” Max sassily and decidedly replied.

When he came back from the bathroom, he showed me Mr. Rochester, who now had his own label: “UNEMPLOYED”.

“Unemployed? Did you just fire my vibrator?!” I exclaimed, shocked that he would take the initiative to terminate my household staff’s employment. Frowning, “I think that’s outside of your purview.”

Max shrugged, setting Mr. Rochester on the dining table behind me and then picked me up, gliding easily from my little dining nook into the kitchen area, where he delicately set me on top of the L-shaped peninsula of the kitchen counter. I crossed one leg over the other, as I leaned forward with my palms on the edge of the counter.

“Well, Mr. Phillips - it seems like you’ve got a prerogative for this evening.”

He put his hands on either side of me, looking down at my legs, my chest, while talking, “I do, actually. But I - I wanted to ask you something.” He looked up into my eyes, waiting for me to give him the go ahead.

“That’s fine. Ask away.”

“How are you feeling today?”

I laughed, “I’m good. I’m very good, Max.”

“No. No, I mean–” he hesitated again, biting his lip, “was I too rough with you last night? Are you sore or in pain?”

“Oh.” I sighed. “Okay.”

“I really - I would hate myself if I hurt you.”

“Listen–” I took ahold of his hands and looked him straight in the eyes, “After the second surgery, I went on a bunch of dates and felt obligated to tell the men I dated that I was still in healing mode, and that kids might be an issue - if they were looking for something serious.”

Taking my right hand, I brushed my fingers through a little curl forming along his forehead. 

“Which sucked, of course, because who wants to hear about that right away? Although I felt like it wasn’t fair to let someone get emotionally involved with me if my endo was going to be a problem for them. And I wanted someone who could be gentle as I was healing. Unfortunately, it led to a lot of them being afraid to have sex with me. A real bunch of cowards they were.”

Max’s eyes took on a watery depth, not quite on the brink of crying, but of deep warmth and caring. 

“At this point, I’m many months post-op, and while my hormones are still driving me a bit batty,” he flinched as I said that, “I’m in much, much better shape - I evicted the organ that was causing the most pain, and I’m way hornier now. It might seem like ‘in theory’ I don’t have as much space for you, but vaginas are magical organs that get really stretchy the more turned on they get. I mean - it’s built for pushing out a new human, so… it’s good to go. Do not back down on my account. You know what Hal Sparks said, right?”

He squinted at me, and I went on, “Pussy bleeds every month and it never dies - it’s like The Predator.”

Max burst out laughing, “Okay! Okay! I trust that you’ll let me know, I won’t back down.” 

“Good. Do not go gentle into that good night.”

“I will not. I will rage until the dying of the light,” he said passionately, still chuckling.

“Now, I will admit that while I can take a pounding –” Max tilted his head, curious where I was going with this statement, “I’m actually extremely sensitive to a lot of other things, because of the whole residual nerve sensitivity - my body tends to be on high alert when it comes to most of my senses, touch - very much so, taste, smell, sometimes I can be sensitive to sound / noises, super bright lights. Besides sound and light, the other senses can actually be very sensual with the right person.”

“Oh, reaeeaaallly?” Max asked, an idea seemingly sparked within him.

“Yeah. Totally.”

He reached over and pulled the vase of flowers he brought closer to the two of us, “Do you know why I chose white orchids and magnolias?”

“They’re beautiful, and I love them!?” He turned and looked at me. “But other than that, no.”

“All flowers have meanings. White orchids can be used to convey hope - new beginnings,” he raised his eyebrow as he looked at me.

“Magnolias represent beauty, and in Victorian times it was the flower of choice for lovers sending correspondence. But the white magnolia in particular, well - it represents the Lunar Goddess.” He brushed his fingers across my cheek, then drew them down the line of my jaw, stopping at my chin, where he held my face so that I was looking up at him - his thumb gently stroking my bottom lip.

“My beautiful, midnight, Lunar Goddess.”

I smiled up at him, and kissed his thumb.

His eyes grew wide, “I want to try something.”

“Uh, okay?”

“I want to test your sensitivity.”

“Uhhhhh….”

“We can try it, and if you hate it as soon as I start, we’ll stop, but I have a feeling - you’re going to enjoy it.”

I shrugged, “Okay, Max. I guess - I trust you.”

He gave me a look like his heart was going to burst when he heard that, pausing only for a moment, and then getting back to the business at hand. 

“Let’s remove your outer layer, shall we?” He gestured to my floral robe, and I used both hands to release it from my shoulders.

Max sat and stared for a moment, pleased with how well the lingerie fit and looking like he couldn’t decide whether to keep it on me or take it off. Slowly, he took his gaze off me, and reached for a stem of orchids from the vase.

I cocked my head to the side, unsure how he was going to proceed.

He took the orchids, and reaching out, let them lightly drag down the crook of my neck and across my clavicle.

My skin pricked up, I could feel the sensation rushing to my nipples as he drew the petals down across my new silk bra.

Quivering, my hands gripped the counter. Max followed the line of my bra strap, up around my back and he walked behind me. Feeling the bra unclasp, one of his hands lightly loosened the straps so that the bra fell forward, while the other continued to trail the orchid up and down my spine. My breathing quickened, and I felt my legs start to shake a bit as my vagina clenched, breasts moving up and down as I tried to pace my breathing - and closed my eyes.

“Look at me.”

I opened my eyes, and Max was in front of me again, watching me with his mouth slightly open, his tongue hungrily, precipitously waiting between two slightly open lips. 

Drawing the flowers across my untethered breasts, over my peaked nipples, my legs clamped together like a vice. Gingerly moving the orchids lower, underneath my breasts, around my rib cage, moving straight down my stomach, towards the top of the garter.

The moment he got to the top of the garter, I let out a small squeak of a moan, and he immediately put the flower back in the vase, tapping my knee with one hand, and grabbing the back of my neck with the other as he pulled me in for an extremely passionate, breathtaking kiss. 

Like an upside down Heinz 57 Ketchup bottle tapped in just the right spot, my legs opened for him, and he used his available hand to start massaging my pussy and clitoris through the fabric. Meanwhile, he continued to open me up with his kisses, deep and rolling into me like waves from the ocean. Right as we came up for air, he immediately began kissing down my neck and focusing his fingers on my clitoris, moving in steady, focused circles, until I gasped.

Max pulled back, his breathing a bit deeper. He walked over to the sink and washed his hands, and immediately I knew what he was planning on doing. The effort, though - the consideration, knowing what I’d been through, and not taking any risks with my body. Fuck. That’s hot. Coming back over to me, he gave me another intense kiss, and then leaned me back down on the countertop, sliding my lingerie down my waist, and off completely. As I laid there on the counter, he put his left hand on my lower abdomen, and with his right middle finger, he started massaging against my cunt and up to my clitoris, his left hand slowly moving up my abdomen towards the middle of my chest, right between my breasts.

I arched my back, feeling the power of his hands on me, in me, but not trying to hold me down. Just trying to please me. Slowly, Max leaned his face over to where his right hand worked me, his thumb switching places with his middle finger, stimulating my clit with steady, firm circles, and licked into my vagina. I clenched and twitched, and his left hand moved to my breast, massaging, squeezing, then focusing on the nipple, giving it small pinches. Moaning in pleasure, I looked down my body at Max, who was staring right back at me - eyes crinkling. I couldn’t see his mouth, but his eyes were definitely smiling.

He moved up a bit, switching places with his hand so that his mouth was sucking on my clit, and his middle finger was pumping and curling inside me. Trembling, I grabbed onto his left hand, still on my breast, and through haphazard breaths, “I’m coming - I’m coming.”

With an involuntary jerk, I almost kicked him, but he held my leg in place, easily. Stars exploded as my vagina clamped and convulsed around his finger, which continued moving into me as it gradually altered to a slower pace. As the ebb and flow of my orgasm finally ceased, Max pulled his finger out and stuck it in his mouth all the way up to his knuckle - licking the entire thing clean, saying, “Mmmmm,” the entire time, while I laughed and covered my face.

Max pushed the vase of flowers further back from where I was on the counter, to give me a little space as I sat up, but almost knocked it over. “Oh, shit! What’s this?” 

“Whoops. I think I accidentally left that out - from the last time I used it.” I grimaced in a classic “Whoops! My bad!” expression.

Smirking as he chuckled, Max cupped my face in one hand, and used the other hand to pick up the jar that nearly caused the fall of the house of orchids, examining the label closely.

“Organic, virgin, unrefined, cold-pressed, natural coconut oil, preservative free and fragrance free.” He scrunched his nose up at the jar, then said, “That feels like a lot to ask of your coconut oil.” 

“Hey! Only the best for me!”

“Okay, fair enough. What do you use this for?”

“Well,” I started, “it’s great for skin, for lip care, for hair, and - are you allergic to coconut?”

Max shook his head. “No. I like coconut a lot, actually.”

“Okay, that’s good.” I gave him a sly smile. “Why don’t you hand me the jar, and a spoon out of the second drawer there,” I gestured to a middle drawer across from the peninsula I was sitting on.

“Hmm. Okay.”

Max inquisitively handed me the jar, turned to the designated spoon drawer and retrieved the required item. Which, he then handed to me, as I sat there naked as a jaybird, save for the black thigh highs and heels.

I opened the jar and scooped out a very small amount of coconut oil with the spoon, closing the jar again. 

“Hey Siri, play Playa Tropical by Passion Coco.” I called out.

Max raised an eyebrow, “Oh, this requires mood music?”

As the retro-surfer beat and reverb-drenched, twangy guitar started playing, I gave Max a cheeky grin, “Would you rather be asking questions or receiving right now?”

Bringing his hand up to his mouth, he made the international symbol of locking his trap and throwing away the key, an eager and excited expression etched on his face.

With the spoon in one hand, I grabbed Max’s tie with the other. Why is he always, always wearing a three-piece suit every time I see him? It’s just not fair. Tugging him towards me just a little bit at a time as I wrapped his tie around my hand, I brought Max close, but not too close. Dropping the tie, I used that same hand to unbutton the top button of his pants and unzip the zipper. Untucking his shirt, I was able to reach his navy blue boxer briefs, slowly pushing them down in the front and I was not disappointed. I could see the top of his shaft was already hard and licked my lips, as I reached my hand inside the briefs to pull out his dick. Glancing up at Max, his eyes were trained on my hand on his cock, his jaw clenching and unclenching. 

Letting his penis free of the confines of his pants, I released it and Max let out the breath he’d been holding. Using the spoon to apply the coconut oil to my free hand, I rubbed the oil between my hands to warm it up. Then taking my fragrant, slick hands, I reached down, making a loose circle with each, index finger to thumb. I tenderly and deliberately placed one hand in front of the other, over and over and over again, in the same direction. Max happily moaned, reaching up and grabbing my breast, until I reversed directions and he jerked slightly. His breathing became a bit more labored, and he leaned in to give me some heated kisses along my neck, holding himself up on my shoulders.

I could tell he was getting closer, and there was no way I was letting him get any further without tasting him. Slowing down with my hands, I slid off the counter, submitting myself on my knees for him - licking the precum off the tip of his exquisite, mouthwatering cock. Bringing him into my mouth, wrapping my lips around his coconut flavored dick, I felt like I was finally on the vacation I always wanted - sipping from the exact tall, delicious drink of which I’d always dreamed. Swirling my tongue just past the head, applying just a little bit of pressure on the just the right spot, feeling him shiver with pleasure, I couldn’t help but move one hand down my own body.

As I knelt on the floor looking up at him, he looked straight back down into my eyes with his mouth slightly agape - his penis in my mouth, one hand working his shaft, my other hand working my own clit. He tried to speak, “I’m gonna - can I - can - in your mouth?”

I nodded, continuing what I was doing so that he could finish inside me, and then I felt the abrupt convulsions in my hand, in my mouth, while Max’s whole body shuddered, and felt the warm, sticky cum running down my throat. The taste of coconut, with rum raisin, pineapple and a bit of salt - it was unusual, but seemed to be Max’s signature flavor and I licked that dick clean, while he leaned over me, watching.

“Sweetness, that was fucking hot.”

I looked up at him from the floor, and he offered his hand, lifting me up.

“Watching you masturbate while sucking my dick –” he shook his head, almost in disbelief, “But I can tell you still have a lot of heat and tension, and I’m gonna fuck that right out of you.”

I let out a loud guffaw, and covered my mouth, “Are you?”

He stepped closer to me, pressing me against the kitchen counter, “That’s satisfaction guaranteed, or your money back.”

I could feel his dick already starting to get hard again as it pressed into my hip.

Immediately, I started unbuttoning his vest, which he pulled off as I started working on the buttons on his shirt, which he yanked off and tossed on the floor. Then he pulled his pants and briefs off, leaving just his black business socks on. He picked me up and took me to my leather couch, laying me down, kissing me deeply - bestowing a thousand little kisses up and down my face and neck, moving down to suck on my nipples. When I thought I couldn’t take it any longer, he started rubbing his dick all along my pussy. Up and down, dipping in just enough to tease me, pulling back out and teasing me again. He was incorrigible. 

I scowled at him, and he smirked, “I know what you want.”

“Then give it to me.”

“You asked for it, Sweetness.”

He rammed into me, and I cried out in bliss, each lunge into me, touching that magical little g spot, as the hairs above his shaft rubbed against my clit, creating an amazing dynamic of friction. 

I could feel my release coming, “Don’t stop!”

My words fortified him, and he kept going, a teensy bit faster, a little bit harder, and Goldilocks perfect. I would not be surprised if two universes collided as a result of our build up and eventual release. We laid on the couch for a good 20 minutes after, not saying anything. Max on top of me, inside of me, curled up against me as we both caught our breath. Giving each other little kisses, but content to stay in place for the time being.

Until my stomach gurgled. Max lifted his head and looked at me, squinting at me beneath furrowed brows, as I gave him my most innocent, wide-eyed expression.

“Was that your stomach, growling like a baby cougar?”

After an elongated, awkward, Tina Belcher laugh, resistance was futile and I admitted the truth with a sing-songy, “Mayyy-beee.”

“Alright, yeah. I could eat, too.” Really? He can eat? Interesting. Put a pin in that for later.

“What are you in the mood for?”

“Hmmm –” giving it a moment while I thought, “Well, obviously there aren’t a lot of places open at this hour, but there is this amazing little Brazilian bakery/market that’s open 24/7. They have the most absolutely scrumtrulescent coxinhas,” sitting up, I started to get very excited, speaking with my hands, “perfectly crispy on the outside, with delicious, tender pulled chicken, veggies, cheese on the inside, and the dough is,” I put my hand up to my mouth, giving a chef’s kiss, “They use tapioca flour in their coxinhas and cheese bread, so every time you take a bite into them, it’s stretchy and cheesy and lightly crunchy and exquisitely savory.”

Leaning back against the couch, I sighed, content by the mere thought.

Staring at me with a grin on his face, Max nodded, “How about that? Sounds like I better not get in between you and this Brazilian bakery - if I want any chance of sticking around.”

Turning red, I rolled my eyes at his ridiculous implication. He chuckled and grabbed my leg at the calf, kissing my ankle, before reaching for his phone. As he scrolled through the meal delivery app, reading off different items on the menu, asking which things sounded better and whether or not I would share with him, I wrapped myself in my grandmother’s afghan thinking, Sorry, G-Ma, I know you’re jealous, wherever you are. Rest in Petty.

I know what you’re thinking, but she was judgy, okay? Good vibes only.

“So, what would you like to do while we wait?” Max asked, booping me on the nose.

“Let’s see if there are any good movies on the ol’ streamer,” sitting up again, I reached for the remote, turning on one of those popular streaming services, probably the one that begins with an “H” and ends with an “ulu” - because the first movie advertised on the main screen with an extremely loud preview was Twilight.

Jerking my head to the left to look at Max, a grin rapidly turning into a smile rivaling The Joker, nodding furiously, he laughed at me. He laughed with me? He laughed. In what appeared to be a good natured way. So I hit play and we were immediately transported to Forks, Washington.

“Uh, uh, wha - uh,” I did my best Kristen Stewart as Bella Swan impersonation, as Max slammed his hand over his mouth and nose, his face expressing pure disgust when I looked over at him, in a perfect “Edward reacts to Bella entering Bio class” move.

“Cool, cool,” was my automatic response, “Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool,” as my face contorted in overdramatic mock worry. 

Taking his hand down from his mouth, Max smiled, rubbing my leg reassuringly. I didn’t need to be reassured, but it was nice anyway - I enjoyed the pampering from this confident, borderline arrogant man, sharing my grandmother’s (now “sex”) afghan with me on my couch.

“Okay - be real. You’re a vampire, you live forever, right?” 

“Uh, yeah?” Max cautiously responded.

“Are you actually going to go back to high school and graduate 25 times?”

A deep chuckle, rumbling in his chest, “No! Absolutely not - I would never be that bored or boring to not move on to college, at least. There’s a whole world out there and so many people and vampires to meet. It’s not that small of a world that you don’t get a whole new set of people every lifetime to meet and explore.”

He was still laughing, when he looked over at me, recognizing by the far off look in my eye, that I was mulling over the fact that I was only one lifetime for him. His face dropped.

“Fuck. I’m sorry. I’m such an asshole.”

“No - no. It’s okay. It’s true, though, isn’t it?”

“It is,” he lamented, “It’s something that I really had to come to terms with after my unholy transition, and while I’m in a better place now, the idea is honestly a bit scary to me. I think it’s going to be one of the hardest things I do - to watch the people around me disappear, while I just keep going. I’ve made connections in the vampire world, so I’m not completely alone, but I’m not sure it’s going to be quite the same.”

He gave a light, hollow and sarcastic chuckle, shaking his head.

I mulled over his admission, the sadness that seemed to hang in the air despite his attempt to convince me otherwise by laughing about the permanence of his situation.

How should I approach this? How do I let him know that I’m here and he can talk to me? How do I give him the space to open up to me, without feeling obligated or feeling like he needs to protect me from difficult feelings? I can’t imagine there’s such a thing as an undead vampire therapist, to help humans becoming vampires with the emotional transition? 

“If you could go back in time, and give yourself advice before you were turned - so that you could maybe have more choice in the situation, what would you tell yourself?”

Max shrugged his shoulders, “Hmm…” gazing into the distance, he went on, “I don’t know that it matters.” He looked back at me, “In the end, I’m exactly where I want to be - now.”

My heart, glowing as it beat a little bit faster, pumped blood straight to my face, as Max and I held each other’s gaze for what felt like too short a time. Though I’m sure it was at least a few minutes - until Max’s phone rang. On the TV, tires screeched, a horn honked, and just as Bella was about to get hit by a car, Edward jumped in front of her, denting the side of an oncoming van that surely would have crushed her against her truck.

We both laughed as I paused the movie and Max answered his phone.

“Yep, we’ll buzz you in. Thanks.” 

Standing up while opening the buzzer app on his phone, he was completely naked. Save for the tie I left on him from our earlier shenanigans. I think I have a tie kink? Is that a thing? Max, abruptly aware that I was sitting on, and therefore hogging heretofore named Sex Afghan, giggled as he looked down at me, smiling doe-eyed as I gave him the up-down and the ‘how you doin’?’ Surveying the room, he paused as his gaze caught hold of something in the kitchen, drawing him there without a second to waste.

Trying not to be creepy, I decided to check my phone, instead of watching him walk away. Which technically, I did have my phone in my hand, I absolutely caught him in the corner of my eye as he sauntered towards the kitchen. Beauty, thy name is Max. However, I was truly tickled when he returned wearing my red floral robe, with the tie and the black socks. I couldn’t help but clap my hands together in joyful delight!

“Oh, you like this, huh?”

Before I could answer, there was a knock at the door and Max went to answer it, quietly talking to the person on the other side of the door, “Yeah - thanks. That’s for you, slugger - no change.”

“Thank you so much, sir! Have a good night!” came a disembodied voice from the hallway.

I jumped up and went to the kitchen, grabbing some plates, utensils, napkins - carrying them back to the living room, where Max was setting the bag of take out on the coffee table. We sat down together, looking at our spread and admiring the feast before us, each getting excited to serve each other from the next container that we’d opened, “Have you gotten any of this, yet?” -  “Make sure you try these with this sauce!”

Hitting resume on Twilight, we contentedly consumed both food and questionable media. As I watched Max happily biting into a coxinha, I was overcome with a very pressing question, “Max?”

“Hmm?”

“Twilight is telling me that vampires don’t eat people-food, but here I am, watching you eat. What the fuck is going on here? This movie is based on a book, and books don’t lie. Who even are you?”

In a fake rage, Max slapped his coxinha on his plate and pointed at the tv, “That’s fake fucking news is what that is. FAKE. NEWS.” 

Switching back to his pleasant smirk, complete with adorable dimple, “Vampires need blood. It’s like I said before about the extreme anemia and vitamin D deficiency. We don’t need food. Food is a want. Food is icing on the cake. Can you imagine how terrible eternity would be without being able to try new cuisines?”

He shook his head, clearly imagining a hellish future in which food was no longer an option as he took a big, greedy bite into the coxinha - cheese stretching from his hand to his mouth.

“That - makes me incredibly happy to know.” I beamed at him, glad for the small joys that remained in a life lived undead.

On screen, Edward and Bella were in the middle of the forest, as Bella queried her own vampire, “How long have you been 17?”

“A while.” Edward huskily breathed.

“I know what you are.” Bella said, accusingly.

“Say it.” Edward demanded. “Out loud. Say it.”

Gasping in an almost orgasmic tone, “Vampire!”

We both threw back our heads and laughed, and then I cut my laughing short, leaving Max to stop also, out of confusion. “How old are you?”

“Wait - what?”

“I need to know that I’m not dating someone who’s trying to groom me.”

“Well, in vampire years –” he started counting on his fingers, and I gave him a playful punch on the shoulder.

“Human years, Max! Human years!”

His mouth dropped open and he cried fake tears, holding his shoulder, “You’re so strong!” I squinted at him. “Okay, okay. I’m 42 in human-years. Not like a permanent 42, but I turned 42 this year. Also, I’m glad that we’re officially dating. Your words.”

He raised his eyebrows and pursed his lips, then popped a mini cheese bread in his mouth without breaking eye contact.

Relieved, I sighed, “Good. I refuse to date someone 80 plus years older than me. That’s not healthy.”

Max agreed, nodding while sipping his drink from a crazy straw he found in one of my kitchen drawers.

While we continued watching the movie, I had a few more questions for him, although I tried not to press too deeply, in case any subjects were still sensitive.

“Sparkly skin - yay or nay?”

“In the sun?” Max scoffed, “Vampires don't make a habit of going in the sun. It hurts. On account of the burning and the minor flames.”

“I was wondering about that –”

“I mean, I can go out in the sun.”

Puzzled, I stared at him, awaiting some clarification.

“Vampires aren’t the only things that exist that you wouldn’t normally expect in the natural world.”

“Do go on, I’m all ears.”

“Witches.”

He chuckled at my stunned pout, “Down in New Orleans, there’s a heavy presence of those who practice witchcraft, Wiccan, and so many other varieties of, well, magic. It’s incredible really. But the vampires and the witches down there also have an understanding - which allowed me to procure this –” he held up his left hand, pointing to a silver ring on his middle finger.

“It’s a Daylight Ring. Its enchantment allows me to go out in the daylight whenever I want, without suffering from the excruciating side effects of being ‘sun averse’ and prone to burning.”

Laughing, I couldn’t help but respond, “Of course - why shouldn’t magic exist in the world? And when you have magic, why not use it to create accessibility options for vampires? It’s pretty genius.”

Slogging through the rest of the movie, unable to get through more than a few minutes at a time without finding ourselves providing what we both deemed to be constructive criticisms, we reached a point where I found myself with even more questions for Max.

“Are werewolves really that much of an occupational hazard?”

“OH, you don’t even know.” Max started, “They stink, they pee everywhere, there’s a truce in place, but it’s extremely fragile.”

“Seriously? A truce? Who put that in place?” I laughed, incredulous at all of this new information I was learning.

“Well, there’s actually a vampiric council. You’ve got the international branch of course, and then there’s regional ones. I’m still learning about the specific regions, but the one I’m most familiar with is the one in Staten Island. They’re - not the brightest. But they are definitely a good time.”

“So, this type of weird pack, coven, roving roommate pod of vampires where they feel the need to establish boundaries and lay claim to certain areas is more bureaucratic than animalistic as portrayed in the film?”

“Uhhhh –” Max took a moment to think, “They can feel very protective of their familiars and that bond is generally respected, but boundaries? They kinda don’t give a shit, unless someone is messing with their specific living space. Kinda like humans, honestly. Familiars are pets, don’t fuck with them. And stay off their lawn.”

“That sounds - surprisingly reasonable?” I waved my hand at the tv, “As opposed to whatever is going on here. Dramaaaa!”

Biting his lip, snickering, Max took my plate and set it on the coffee table, pulling me close to him as he set a throw pillow in his lap. Urging me to lay my head down, he gently started brushing his fingers along the hairline of my forehead, behind my ear, and down my neck. Repeating the motion, he continued to stroke my hair, occasionally using the tips of his fingers to massage along the back of my neck, as we finished the movie. Or, at least I think we finished the movie. 

It felt like I just closed my eyes for a second, but when I opened them again, the tv volume was way down. On screen Bella, Jacob, and Edward were in some sort of heated threesome argument, with Edward begging Bella to come with him, Jacob making empty threats, and Bella asking Edward to read Jacob’s mind, because that’s obviously not a violation of anyone’s privacy.

Stretching, yawning, I asked, “Is this New Moon? Did you turn on the second movie?”

“Ehhhh —” Max hemmed, not entirely eager to answer, “Yeah. It is. It’s not - great. But it is a challenge to look away. It’s like when all the cars stop on the road when there’s some unfortunate incident, and everybody can’t help but slow down and look. I want to look away, but I’m powerless for some reason. Also, you were like a kitten in my lap, I couldn’t move while you slept - you seemed like you really needed it. I was kinda hostage to these movies.”

I guffawed, “Ha! Sure, absolutely. Nothing else to stream, huh?”

He gave me a playful warning ‘tsk, tsk, tsk’ between his teeth, shaking his head and narrowing his eyes down at me. 

Taking the hint, I casually changed the subject.

“This mind reading business - is that a thing? Can you do that? I mean, sometimes you’re –”

Max laughed, interrupting me.

“No, no, no. That’s not a thing. Not for vampires at least, as far as I know. Our senses are heightened - taste, touch, smell, sound, sight…”

“And the sixth sense? Dead people?”

“Yes, but not in the way you’re hoping.” He said with a huge grin. “Unless, you want to find out?” 

The way he phrased it was extremely flirtatious, but my inner instinct felt like the subject matter was - not? He can make anything sexy. Is that another vampire thing or just a Max thing? I wondered to myself, unsure whether or not to dissect the sexual innuendo of that last statement outloud.

A smile curled upwards on Max’s lips, “Your heart rate just rose.”

Putting my hand over my heart, as though I could hide it, he cackled, “It never gets old. Watching your changing expressions and how you react to me.”

Frowning up at him, he leaned down and kissed me, as one hand snaked its way into mine, stretching in between my fingers, flexing in and out. We continued our slow kiss, until the opening chords of House of the Rising Sun broke our focus and our calm.

Leaning back up, Max stretched, reaching for his phone and shutting off the music.

“Alarm.” He sighed, looking back down at me, “Time for this vampire to turn back into a salesman.”

As I sat up, I turned so that I could face him - lifting my hand up to stroke his cheek, and he nestled into my hand, kissing my palm.

“Thank you for tonight, Max. Thank you for the beautiful new lingerie, dinner, the –” I spelled it out and exaggeratedly whispered, as though we’d done something unforgivable, “S-E-X.”

“Anytime and every time, Sweetness.” Giving me a wink and a kiss on the forehead before he stood up, “I’m wearing this back to my apartment,” indicating my red floral robe.

I frowned at him, unsure how I felt about him stealing one of my favorite clothing items, but then he took his right hand and lifted the right side lapel to his nose, sniffing deeply.

“It smells like you.”

Geezus, fuck. That was hot.

“Oh, oh. Okay, sure.” I nodded, suddenly very fine with it.

He gathered his clothing from the pile we’d left in the kitchen, and taking his white button up, he placed it around my shoulders, as I put my arms inside the sleeves.

“I want to see you in this later. Just this.”

Mimicking what he’d done with my robe, as we walked to the door, I gave him a curt response, “I suppose that can be arranged.” 

He stared at me, mouth open slightly, for about 30 seconds before saying, “No. No - I’ve gotta go.” And pulled me in close for a quick kiss on the lips, before heading down the hallway. Turning around to throw me a cheeky smirk, he looked sufficiently ridiculous and somehow very, very spicy in the robe, socks, and tie.

Closing the door behind him, I proceed to walk over to the couch, where I picked up my sequined Nic Cage pillow, smoothing down all the sequins, before calmly jamming it against my face and giving a pleased groan, “Oh My Goooooood!”

Why did he make me feel like such a teenager? 

My dopamine levels soaring, I knew I needed to pull myself down from these heights so that I could get some sleep. Lighting a lavender & sage candle, I started the shower, and put on a random selection of albums by neo-psychedelic surf-pop band, La Luz.

“They love you today, soon they’ve gone away. You will know me by the way, I won’t ever hesitate.” 

Crooning along to the trippy tunes, I thought about Max’s life as a vampire, “If the golden glow simmers into black and leaves you reeling. I won’t take it back. When I say I’m yours, you know I mean it.”

I stepped out of the shower, and remembering the melancholic undercurrents that he so coolly skated over in our earlier conversation about his vampiric lifestyle, I considered what I’d want my options to be. To at least have a companion, someone dear with me to spend the rest of time, to explore the world, to always consider that person my special place to hang my heart and call home. Forever is a long time to be a strong, independent person, who doesn’t need anyone else. 

All this time that we were spending together, made me wonder if Max was flirting with the idea of turning me? Not once had he brought it up, so this would certainly be presumptuous on my part to expect him to make such an offer. From what I’ve seen of him, he doubtless goes after what he wants. Albeit, he has been very considerate of my feelings, my boundaries, my wants and needs. But I’m putting the cart before the horse - would I even say yes to that proposition?

Dressing in my silk night set, I grabbed my journal. Let’s write this out - maybe a stream of consciousness poem will help me to work out how I feel. Putting pen to paper, I thought about the way his jaw clenched a bit, right before his mouth turned up into a smile on one side, his dimple becoming prominent. The way it warmed me up from the inside out when he teased me, making my stomach drop like I’d just gone down the biggest hill on a rollercoaster, my fingers tingling, and my face a bit dizzy with the rush of blood to my cheeks.

In the warmth of your smile, I melt like wax rolling down the edge of a candle. Flame licked and flickering under your glow. If I’m not careful you might soften what the world made hard in me. If I’m not careful the fire in you might jump my wick. But maybe, that’s how we were meant to meet - your flame igniting what was intended to be consumed, illuminating my darkness - bringing light to my nights.

Hmmm. I scrunched up my nose as I read over the words. Not entirely sure that made anything clearer - I closed my journal, and opted to sleep on it.

To be continued...

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[thewildsophia]

WordGirl//Dr. Two Brains x Reader

A/N: Back on my bullshit again lmaoo. Idk why but my sister reminded me of how 6-year-old me was in love with Two Brains back in like 2010. Anyway, I'm very disappointed by the shattering lack of fanfics for this guy. So, like always, I made my own headcanons for him. I actually do have a full fanfic drafted out for him, but I'm not sure when it will be finished.

A/N pt 2: LMAO I FORGOT TO TAG THIS PERSON. So I got the idea from an ask on @cheese-induced-madness ‘s page about an affectionate reader and wanted to do my own version of it.

A/N pt 3: so apparently it wasn’t cheese induced madness who posted the prompt I was referencing??? I had to search for it again but it was actually by @dearest-painter. Sorry!

Words: 1489

"Read More Link" placed due to length

Dr. Two Brains x Affectionate!Reader

I imagine it’s in Reader's nature to be both physically and verbally kind, but with Dr. Two Brains their affection is multiplied by like 100 lmao.

And Dr. Two Brains LOVES it omg.

Two Brains is also affectionate in nature but doesn’t show it often until you and him become official. I mean, he loves his henchmen but he doesn’t always treat them the best :/

You and him are probably both touch-starved sorry I don’t make the rules. But that’s okay because you have each other.

You would often try to be in physical contact with him as much as possible: brushing shoulders, holding hands, bonking heads, anything really that allows you to touch him. It’s your own brand of affection and he doesn’t mind the unconventional choice of touch.

I feel like he’s also weird with the way he chooses to show physical affection. Like yes, he enjoys hugs and holding hands, but he also gives little love bites while kissing you or he straight up just walks up to you and bites your shoulder. He’s very careful with his teeth tho.

You often try to keep him calm while he’s working on things. Squeaky doesn’t let him rest much, so Two Brains gets antsy when he’s not being productive.

He may have been working on something for hours on end without taking any breaks, so you’ll walk up behind him, rest your chin on his shoulder, and lace your fingers with his, stopping his motions. He’d ask you what’s wrong before you’d hug him, wrapping his own arms around his waist and kissing his cheek. 

He’d giggle at the ticklish sensation of your lips on his skin and shake from being embraced so tightly. You’d whisper sweet nothings into his ear before letting go of him and allowing him to turn around and face you. 

If you told him to take a break, he’d do it in a heartbeat for you. 

You’d cook sometimes for him, and other times he’d cook for you. Most dishes have cheese in them, but occasionally he’s able to eat something small without cheese and squeaky not getting upset at it. 

I could see you two carrying each other around the secret hideout at random times. Like you could be doing your work or cooking and he’s on your back. Or Two Brains may be working on some invention and you’re on his back, arms wrapped around his neck and legs hugging his waist. 

You can’t tell me he doesn’t have the strength to do so. And since I’m tall and strong you’re also strong. Sorry, I make the rules now lmao. 

You also like to carry him with him facing you and peppering kisses across his face and neck, leaving him a flustered and stuttering mess in your arms. 

Sleeping with this man (not like that (¬_¬") ) is so random and never consistent. He sleeps at random times, sometimes late at night, other times in the middle of the afternoon. 

The only consistent thing is how he chooses to sleep with you.

He often begs you to go to sleep with him even if you just woke up. He says that you calm him enough to actually fall asleep and that you keep squeaky at bay. 

If you just woke up you’ll lay with him until he falls asleep and then go back to whatever you do. If you were just about to go to bed then there’s no problem!

I will say that this man is ALWAYS all over you. He often likes to lay on you lmao. Even if he didn’t start off laying on you - like if you two were originally just next to each other - you’ll wake up in the morning barely being able to breathe because this man is laying on you like you’re the fucking mattress. 

Two Brains will apologize with this small voice and it’s hard to stay man at him. 

He also likes to snuggle into you. Two Brains likes to lay his head under your chin and face in your neck where he’ll kiss you while his arms wrap around your waist with legs tangled. 

He likes it when you gently comb your fingers through his hair, being careful of the mouse brains, and whisper quiet words of affirmation to him. He falls asleep FAST. 

Little. Spoon. Fr.

This man just LOVES to be held and you hold him so gently okay??? 🥺

He feels secure in your arms. You hold him firmly yet carefully and he’s never felt so loved than in those quiet moments. 

Two Brains probably gets a little jealous when you also dote on his henchmen. He knows that it’s just your nature to be kind and physically affectionate, so he doesn’t actually get mad when he catches you squeezing their shoulders or hugging the two together. 

He’s just a little jealous that it isn’t him you’re holding (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

He gets over it fast when you run up to his and rest your head on his shoulder. Or better yet you, literally, sweep him off his feet and deposit the both of you somewhere else.

When it comes to dealing with the mouse brain, your verbal affection shines. 

There are some days when Two Brains and his mouse brain disagree with each other, the mouse brain usually berating Two Brains. You’re there to comfort him and get the mouse brain back in line.

Because of that, the mouse brain doesn’t particularly like you. It thinks you're nothing more than an obstacle in the way of acquiring more cheese. When Squeaky took control he forced Two Brains to push you as far away as possible. It hurt, but you knew those weren’t the actions of Two Brains himself.

When Two Brains was allowed to be himself again this man was crying, BEGGING for your forgiveness and him affirming how much he loved you and didn’t want you to leave him.

You told him you were never mad at him and THREW himself at you. Bro had you pinned down on the ground just by laying on you and crying into your chest. He didn’t move for a few hours lmao.

Two Brains gets flustered a lot. He’s not used to much verbal affection considering he’s a villain and all. Even when he was just Steven no one really paid mind to him in that way.

So whenever you say something simple like, “You look handsome today, as you do every day.” or “You’re so pretty <3” he absolutely loses his mind. This man is blushing and stuttering like a little schoolboy omggg.

He also just really appreciates hearing you say kind things about him; Two Brains doesn’t have the best self-esteem. He’s more than confident in his intelligence, but not so much in the physical department.

He knows that he looks…odd. Not many people found him attractive when he was Steven, and even less now as Dr. Two Brains. So hearing you say he’s pretty and that you love him makes his day every time.

But he doesn’t just receive compliments from you; He makes sure to voice just how much he loves you the same way you do. 

He says casual things like, “You’re so sweet.” or “Oh, look how pretty my S/O is.” It’s so cute really, he can’t help but blush whenever he’s trying to compliment you. You just make him so nervous sometimes because you’re so beautiful/handsome (whatever you prefer) to him.

In more intimate movements like when you two are cuddling or just enjoying each other’s presence in the few fleeting free moments, Two Brains is much more confident in what he says. He’s not as much of a blushing mess as when you two are around his henchmen or Wordgirl. He’ll whisper how much he loves and adores you, pressing gentle kisses to your skin in between breathless praises.

However, if you say even the simplest of compliments to him in these moments, all of his previous confidence leaves his body and he’s back to the muttering, stumbling mess he usually is. 

Call him pretty, call him smart, call him kind he absolutely loves every word you say about him. Just be careful with how much you say in one sitting because one complements too many and he’ll start crying from how much he loves you.

Two Brains is a sucker for praise. His henchmen often praise him for his intelligence and ingenuity with his creations, but this man will do anything for you to praise him.

Two Brains will make inventions based on your late-night ramblings or he’ll cook and clean for you; This man would pull the stars out of the night skies as a gift for you if you only said the word.

Dr. Two Brains is completely and totally infatuated with you and he’s so lucky that he’s found someone who is equally infatuated with him.

[hapan-in-exile]

Volume 3 - Post #2: Now we're getting somewhere

Another installment in this ongoing serialized fanfic

Genre: Mandalorian x Fem Reader

Total word count: 3K (of 45K total in Volume 3)

Rating: Explicit - smut, language, *NSFW*

______________________________________________

II. There’s a lack of consensus within the medical community about the long-term impacts of carbon freezing on humanoid physiology.

The primary risk factor is brain damage—there being a critical window between when the body is inundated with tibanna gas and starved of oxygen before achieving stasis.

That’s all to say, you certainly wouldn’t enter a freezing chamber voluntarily. 

Not that the traitor known as Ozan Sango had gone in willingly. There's a grimace on his face, suspended in carbonite. Something between a shout and a whimper that’s just visible between his two outstretched hands raised in terror.

Watching that pained expression dissolve into embers that flutter like moths around the Razor Crest’s detention area is a little unsettling.

There's barely enough room in here for Mando to stand up straight, and you both pivot your shoulders to avoid encroaching on one another’s personal space. So when the man known as Ozan Sango collapses to the floor from his disintegrating carbonite cartridge, he falls directly onto your feet. 

“Here, I can get him past the hibernation sickness,” you offer helpfully, pulling at your red leather gloves—the only part of your original outfit you were allowed to keep.

“Don’t,” Mando cautions, catching your hand by the wrist. “The less people who know about your…abilities, the better.”

“No. Of course. Right.” You shake your head, caught off guard by your own stupidity. You must seem so foolish to him. 

“Thulani…” 

Damnit, whenever he says your name, your stomach jumps into your throat. Time dilates, slowing to a crawl as the Mandalorian slips his hand into yours, lacing your fingers together. “I’m going to keep you safe.” 

It didn’t escape your notice that Mando was at his most assured when he stepped into the role of protector. The sarcastic jokes and endlessly frustrated sighs evaporated to reveal his truest self. 

You smile at him and vainly wish that you could slow down time to stay in this moment forever, while his feelings are faithful and uncomplicated.

When he finally releases you, the bounty hunter reaches out with a syringe in his other hand. “This should do the trick.”

“Huh,” you mutter. “Didn’t think you were really involved in the waking them up part.”

“Good to have on hand when you need to get them mobile.” 

Yikes! You try not to think about Mando as the ruthless bounty hunter, but going into business with him made the Mandalorian's professional activities less an abstract scenario and more like something in which you are directly complicit.

On three, you both lift Ozan Sango under each arm and deposit him onto a small bench, the only accommodation inside the Razor Crest’s holding cell. The Crest had space to secure one or two hostiles for transit. Designed for capacity, not comfort.

Sango leans forward to place his head between his knees, groaning whenever the light catches his incessantly blinking eyes. Part of you desperately wanted to rush forward to check his vitals and get him hydrated. But that would sabotage the fearsome mercenary image you’re working hard to project.

“You?!” Catching sight of Mando, the traitor known as Ozan Sango shrinks back onto the bench, hugging his legs to his chest. He must realize how undignified he looks because he immediately places his feet back on the ground, squaring his shoulders before snarling, “My answer is still no.”

“Ok,” you spread both hands out wide in a gesture of humility. “I understand that getting knocked out and waking up in a strange place isn’t the friendliest way to start a partnership, but you also didn’t give us much of a chance to present the details back on Berchest. So this time, try to open your mind to the possibilities.”

“You could have come to me with money, begging on your knees, and my answer would still be the same,” he sneers at you.

“In case it isn’t clear,” the Mandalorian growls impatiently. “We are currently in hyperspace. No one is about to come through that door to save you. If you cooperate, I have use for you. Stay silent, and I’ll sell you back to Tagge Corp for the bounty.”

At that, Ozan Sango blanched—which is to say that his garnet skin transformed into a pale mauve color. “Tagge has a Guild contract out on me?”

“You know those corpos. Pretty possessive about their intellectual property.” Your tone is indifferent, disinterested. Like how you imagine a heartless merc would sound. “Now, the question Mando and I can’t answer is whether they’ll punish you with a stint in prison or just skip the judicial process entirely to make an example of you.”

As far as this man is concerned, you could care less about his gruesome death at the hands of an evil corporation. “Maybe they’ll use you to send a message to all those other drones contemplating industrial espionage.” 

“Fine. Bring me back. I can’t wait to tell Tagge Corp all about your absurd plan to rob them.”

“Who says you’ll be going back alive?” Mando snaps, flicking the blade from his vambrace into the palm of his hand, where it vibrates menacingly.

“So,” he steps forward, close enough for the shield door to cast an ominous blue light over his Beskar. “I can bring you in warm,” the helmet tilts to one side, “or I can bring you in cold,” then the other. Posing it as a question. 

Yeah, he’s very good at this.

Ozan looks from Mando to you and back again. Taking the opposite approach, you avoid looking at the holding cell entirely so your face won’t betray the truth—that there’s absolutely no way you’d let the Mandalorian murder him.

“Hmmmf,” Ozan snorts. “But I tell you what you want to know, and you’ll just let me walk out of here, right?” 

Raising an eyebrow, he tosses a button torn from his jacket at the shield, which emits a strobe of white light that would have been blinding if you and Mando weren’t both wearing protective lenses.

“Again,” you say insistently while Ozan Sango cradles his head in his hands. “There’s no need for any of this if you would simply behave.”

Despite the agony, he manages to shoot you a look of pure loathing.

“You’re doing quite well for yourself on Berchest,” you continue. “His lordship, the Duke Raife Galantis, has also put out a contract for your return—under your new alias, of course. Give us the information we want, and we will happily place you back into his generous employ.”

“You threaten me with the Tagge Corporation but want me to betray them? If they’re hunting me for sharing trade secrets, how much shit am I piling onto myself by helping you destroy their operations?”

“It’s one refinery,” you remind him.

“The most productive coaxium refinery in the quadrant,” Ozan retorts. 

“Which they operate on unceded land without legal authority.” 

“Exactly,” Ozan Sango throws up his hands. “This is political. You’re asking me to take part in a terrorist plot.”

“Your handler,” Mando interrupts. “Ubaa Dir led us to believe that your time at Tagge Corp made you sympathetic to revolutionary politics.” 

At the sound of that name, Ozan’s head snaps up.

“This is the same information you promised her,” you persist, weaving a heartfelt undertone into your voice before going cold. “That is until Raife Galantis offered you a more lucrative way to get back at your corporate overlords.” 

"That's not how it happened!"

The look of shame that crosses Ozan Sango’s face convinces you that, in the end, despite his better judgment, he'll agree to help you. There’s still a beating heart in there, somewhere underneath the cowardice.

“What information could I give you that’s in any way useful?” He scoffs defeatedly. “They’ll have changed security codes by now. I’ll have no access.”

“We need help with the layout, floor plans, and anything you can tell us about security protocols. We won’t be able to break into the depot blind.”

“You won’t be able to break in at all,” the man known as Ozan Sango howls. “It’s a walled compound with guard towers everywhere. It’s impenetrable.”

“Let us worry about getting in,” Mando says dismissively.

“Can I ask a question?” Sango interjects. “Why would you trust anything I say?” 

“Ubaa Dir told us to give you this.” 

“She’s alive?!” Sango’s green eyes went wide, eager. "You've seen her?"

When Mando drops the shield to place an ancient star compass, like a sacred talisman, into Ozan Sango’s waiting hands, you might have guessed the bounty hunter had given him a baby Porg. His eyes glisten, and his jaw goes slack. 

“There’s also a message she wanted us to deliver,” you say, leaning forward to give him the recording. At his touch, it projected a holographic image of the Rebel leader, Ubaa Dir. She smiles indulgently, grateful for the chance to speak to him again.

“You can—ahem,” you cough, inching towards the control panel. “There’ll be more privacy if we close the cell.”

Having already watched the hologram yourself, it's clear that these two had a complicated history—one that definitely involved fucking each other. You can’t help but wonder if any of your former lovers would risk their lives to help you overthrow an intergalactic fascist corporation. 

Although sex didn’t have to factor into it, necessarily. 

After all, here you are putting your ass on the line for a new rebellion, and you’d only met this woman a week ago. Erenada! Was that only last week?

As a former Rebel yourself, Ubaa Dir’s magnetism was instantly recognizable. She had conviction, a righteous cause, and the charisma to make you believe that her uprising would be one of those rare moments to fight for justice. The woman was a born leader.

Mando had taken some convincing, yet here he was, right by your side. At first, you suspected the Mandalorian might have been another one of Ubaa Dir’s lovers. But now…

Well, sex didn’t have to factor into it, necessarily.

Either way, you didn’t want to ask what leverage she had against the bounty hunter, just in case it was the type of relationship that might also have him crying alone inside a holding cell. 

In due time, there came a knock from behind the cell door. Mando opened it, but he did not reactivate the shield. Guess he has 'Ozan Sango' clocked as a lovesick sucker, too. 

Heaving a heavy sigh, the man’s eyes ruddy and swollen, he declares, “I’ll do it,” in barely more than a whisper. 

“Good,” is Mando’s only response.

“So…what happens now?”

“We get to work.” The bounty hunter speaks into his comlink, giving Nito the all-clear to enter the detention area.

“No names,” he points a finger at the Ardennian. Our… engineer will handle schematics and spatial modeling. Focus on executive facilities and operations, especially the control room.”

The man known as Ozan Sango nods, “And then? How will I stay in contact with you?”

“You won’t,” Mando says.

“We'll ensure you get back to Berchest,” you assure him. “When you finally hear about what happens, you’ll be safe and secure, living your new life under the patronage of House Galantis.”

“It was you who proved that isn’t true!”

“Well, I’m sure the Duke will take your requests for increased security more seriously after this."

“Hey there, yeah, I’m sorry, but first, I gotta know how you were able to block our biometric sensor?” Nito asks, taking out Mando’s tracking fob, which remains silent even though he is holding it less than a foot from its target.

“What? Oh! That's because I fabricated the original sample I provided to Tagge Corp.”

So much for that lingering hope. You didn’t realize how anxiously you’d been waiting to learn his secret method for hiding yourself so completely. The ability to render any tracking fob useless would be a game-changer. 

But it just came down to common sense. You hadn’t thought to provide a false sample. Though, to be fair to your seventeen-year-old self, it hadn’t occurred to you that you might actually survive a galactic civil war. 

At roughly the same size as the cockpit, it's way too cramped inside the detention area for you to stand around like a piece of furniture. You leave Ozan, Mando, and Nito to discuss guard levels and security protocols. The kid would undoubtedly go over every last detail with you—about a dozen times a day—over the coming weeks anyway. 

Below deck, you throw yourself inside the sleeping compartment and onto your bedroll before noticing the Child asleep in a nest of blankets. Luckily, he slept like the dead after a big meal. He barely registers you, curling up beside him. You make room, one arm tucked beneath your head, while the other pulls him into the crook of your arm.

Staring up at the ceiling, curiosity piqued, you’re powerless to stop your mind from imagining all the million things Ubaa Dir could be holding over Mando. It wasn’t sex—since, apparently, this Mandalorian is celibate. He said he swore the Creed as a young man. Did that mean he’d never—? 

Surely, you’ve had some love affairs that weren’t just about sex. Or, at least more than just the sex…

One consequence of spending a life on the run is that you’re only ever there for the beginning of things. There isn’t time to cultivate the kind of devotion that would shake a man to his core at the sight of your compass, or locket, or some other trinket.

Maybe sex wasn’t everything. Mando cares about you and values you, and now you both understand where things lie...

Which is the mature and respectful way to deal with his rejection. Not the cruel and selfish approach you want to take, of throwing temptation in his face at every turn until he cast aside his Creed and bent you over the captain’s chair like it was the only thing he could think about since the moment you met.

But what kind of love is that? To ask a man you respect to betray his principles? 

Maybe if he just stroked himself while you watch—?

“You alright?”

“Yeah,” sitting bolt upright at the sound of that modulated voice. “Just checking on the little guy.” You look down to see him snoring with his mouth half open. “It’s gonna be hard to keep him out of sight once he wakes up.”

“We’ve got nine hours til we reach Daiyu. Our informant can spend it in the holding cell.” Your eyebrows arch in disbelief.

“What?” he shrugs. “There’s a vacc tube in there.”

“How do we get him back to Berchest?” You ask tentatively. “Contact House Galantis once we’re in the city?”

“I still think Vos is our best option,” Mando replies firmly. “I don’t want any direct contact.”  

At this, you nod absentmindedly; your thoughts are still up in the cockpit, getting railed by the Mandalorian while you hold onto the headrest. With all those squats he does, Mando could probably go for hours.

“When did you get the stealth suit, Thulani?”

You take in a great, big breath through your nostrils and shrug, “A while ago.” 

Mando reaches into the compartment to pull the vizor from your face. It takes every ounce of self-control to not flinch or shrink away. Instead, you stare steadfastly into the view plate, exactly where his eyes should be.

“I don’t remember you having it when we left Dorumaa,” he says gruffly, with a wry edge that bordered on teasing. 

His broad shoulders obscure the overhead light from the cargo hold, casting you in shadow. If you reached out your arms, you could wrap them around his waist and press your head against his chest.

“Mmmm," you hum thoughtfully and shrug again as though you can’t quite recall. “Do you really think it's okay to leave Nito up there on his own? Our engineer is pretty chatty.”

“You trying to get rid of me?” 

“What?” You laugh nervously, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “How? The ship is—”

“Do you really think that suit would stop me from tracking you?”

“I—I didn’t buy the suit because of you. I mean, your thermal scanner made me think it was a good idea, but that’s not—”

“You’re a terrible liar,” he shakes his head, handing you back the vizor. “Make sure you remember that.” 

That knee-jerk defensiveness, which always gets the better of you, begins to surge up inside. “Well, who’s to say you aren’t as much of an easy read under that helmet? I bet you squint and crinkle your nose just like the rest of us.”

But Mando brushes off the argument, “Where did you plan to hide from me?”

Ugh, he is not going to let this go. “I didn’t—”

“Come on, you bought the suit. You had a plan.” He leans over, propping himself against the sleeping compartment's door frame with a bent elbow. Which is another unfair advantage since now all you can think about is running your hands over the hard planes of his stomach.

“You may recall you were very insistent that I not leave the ship those first few weeks?”  

“I didn’t know if I could trust you,” he says. Not an excuse or justification. Merely a statement of fact. There were no apologies from the Mandalorian.

"And now you do?"

He nods. Which isn't an enthusiastic endorsement, but you'll take it.

“Can I just say how proud I was to sneak this on board without you noticing?”

Mando crosses his arms over his chest in a huff, then uncrosses them, cracking his knuckles between clenched fists before unfurling his fingers and relaxing his shoulders. The whole performance made you anxious about what he wanted to say next.

“When did you stop being afraid of me?”

“Ha!” Whatever you were expecting him to say, it wasn’t that. Your brain scrambles to come up with some coy remark, but instead, you land on honesty. “It wasn’t any one moment…that sunrise on Naboo? Maybe the Kalidor?” 

Laughing, you remember him holding your face in his hands, telling you to 'take care of them,' right before launching himself at this vicious flying beast. It wasn’t the same as overthrowing the Tagge Corporation…but no one had ever fought their way out of a monster’s stomach to save you before that day.

“I bought the suit on an impulse,” you say quietly, tracing your fingers over the seamless black fabric. “So that I didn’t feel completely helpless...like I could regain some control.”

“I understand.” The Mandalorian says coolly, before something shifted in his posture that felt...dominating. “But you should know, Thulani, there's no place you could hide from me that I wouldn’t find you.”

And with that, he climbed back up the ladder.

*********************

Read the next installment in Volume 3 - Post 3: Another Tale of Emergency Medicine

Back to Volume 3 - all posts

[yanderecandystore]

Could you please do a fanfic for a male version of Yandere! Lady Dimitrescu (from Resident Evil Village game) with the reader.

I really like the Resident Evil franchise but I'm too lazy to know what the hell is happening in the older games XD I'm so sorry about that-

I loved watching playthroughs of Resident Evil Village (can't buy the game ;-;), but I felt like it was a bit empty, idk- I felt like the lords weren't really explored enough.

Also the Duke is the best husbando in the whole game- Fight me! >:3

TW/Tags: GN = Gender Neutral, I normally forget to properly name it when it's gender neutral, most of the time I just say "reader" // maybe ooc // lazy genderbent, I'm terrible with names // size difference // servant reader // mentions of gore/cuts/bruises/blood and deaths (and torture- I'm so sorry-) // reader gets hurt // mentions of vomiting

It's Dinner Already [Yandere!M!Dimitrescu x GN!Reader - Short Fanfiction]

It's dinner time already, unfortunately for you, of course.

It feels almost like a routine at this point- Which in a way, it is! You always take care of your tasks during the day, while dreading the inevitable time for dinner to arrive again.

Everyday, at this exact same hour, you and the other servants would prepare a meal for Lord Dimitrescu and his lovely… Sons…

As someone who has started "working" for their family only a month ago, you can positively say: Starving in the cold woods next to your village would have probably been a more merciful death than the ones you have witnessed at this place. You weren't as accustomed to such brutal executions at your village, actually you hardly even witnessed so much death, at least not so up close.

When you came here, you didn't expect to be instantly comforted and treated with respect- You were a commoner looking for an possibility to thrive in a noble's house, you were basically an easy target for any entitled selfish lord to easily belittle you and make you work for them until your hands would turn to dust. Yet nothing could have prepared you for such an odd situation.

Vampires. Monsters. Fiends if you were bold enough to insult them. You weren't exactly welcomed as much as you were snatched in and now forever trapped inside this castle. You can still hear their laughter… Their insane expressions of pure glee, the way they have bursted into maliciously laughing at your pain as you screamed for help trying to open up their door again and be free from that nightmare.

The chase didn't last even a second, they stabbed your legs with their scythes and brought you deeper inside this hellhole, as you cried your eyeballs out. The sons had brought you back inside so their father could take a look at the "intruder".

An absolute titan amongst the mortals. His height was only a sick reminder of how much power he had over the castle, over his sons, and now- Over you.

He may not have been as massive as he was threatening as you remind him to be, but at the time you were just in awe of his height considering you have never seen someone as tall and as mighty.

Then again- You have never seen vampires as well. Were they the same vampires as the books you've read as a kid? You weren't so sure of it…

You were hoping that if you begged for life and for forgiveness for having disturbed their peace, that they could spare you and let you go back to your village. Sadly enough, you commented on how you were only trying to look for a job as a servant.

You probably shouldn't have given them ideas, but it's too late to think about your mistakes now, however.

The sons begged to see your blood spilled, yet Lord Dimitrescu was merciful enough to grant you your "wish", as he said.

It has been a month ever since you were trapped inside and forced to work as a miserable little servant, and even if you didn't suffer the worst forms of punishments that they had in-store for you, you couldn't help but fantasize about just running away and never turning back.

You're so tired of this castle, of the smell of carnage, of the undeserved and over the top punishments, and especially of the people who would subjugate you to such things.

But at last, it's dinner time already, and you can't keep them waiting.

You feel your hands shaking as you walk out of the kitchen and into the dining room where the masters of the castle were so graciously waiting for you. You know what they're waiting for- But you can't let them distract you, for those that commit accidents are faced with fates worse than death.

Although you would rather do this process quickly, you can't afford mistakes to happen, so you take your time to set not only their meal in front of each one but to also pour "wine" into their glasses. You do all of this without looking directly into their eyes, only bowing down to each one and saying "excuse me"s in what they would call a "decent tone", as the smell of their disgusting beverage starts to irritate your nostrils. If you didn't know the main ingredient to Sanguis Virgins is, you probably wouldn't have this immense disgust over it, but right now just the thought of it makes you want to gag.

Only villains could so easily drink blood, and still make a living out of it.

Your internal thoughts of pure hatred against this whole situation almost completely blinded you to the fact that they were eerily, very quiet.

….

On most nights they would be talking with each other while occasionally making comments about you or your presence. Obviously they were all pretty nasty comments that they somehow expected you to back it up in some way or another, it's when they try to insert you into their conversation that makes you hate this occasion so badly, but it normally ends as quickly as it begins.

But as you are pouring wine to Lord's Dimitrescu, you notice that they haven't said a single thing while you were there. You stop what you're doing as you realize that they were silently observing you this whole time, and as you look into their expressions you come to think that maybe you have messed up-

Somehow, in some way or form, you may have messed up- And the fact this mistake could cost your head only agitates your already very worried mind.

….

A small moment of silence continues before the middle son, Cassandro, starts to chuckle in an almost innocent way- As if he was a kid who just said a bad word for the first time- And as he bursts into sudden laughter, Daniel leans towards Bello and loudly whispers:

"- I told you, they do this every time." To which Bello only replied with:

"- It's almost like hypnosis in a way."

The three sons were mesmerized by your ability to trap yourself in your own mind. They're probably aware that you do this as a defensive mechanism but they still find it comical in a weird way. You feel yourself get more tense as you look up at Lord Dimitrescu and see him staring back at you, with an unreadable expression across his face.

Before you could come up with an excuse to whatever you may have caused to disturb their dinner, the Lord himself spoke.

"- How inappropriate. As my sons, you three should know better than to laugh at our servant's airheaded mind-"

And as he said that, their smiles begin to disappear and be replaced with frowns and a bit of shame as they become stiff at their father's words.

"- And how inappropriate of you, too. To be so distracted in the presence of your masters, that's quite rude don't you think?"

But as he continued their bodies begin to relax once again as they realize he wasn't focusing on them- He was focusing on you.

Words have completely disappeared from your vocabulary as you start to think that maybe you won't be able to see another day after their meal is over. You try to mumble some possible responses before getting interrupted by him once again.

"- It's very rude, so very rude in fact that I think we deserve some answers. What were you so distracted about? What were you thinking that could have possibly taken over your small little head?"

Right now, he was sounding a bit condescending, thankfully not as angry as he would have been with the other servants right about now. Every little mistake was used as excuses for punishments- And if you were walking on thin ice before, right now you are one-step closer to breaking this entire lake and getting yourself killed by the freezing temperatures of the water below you.

Thanks to your luck (or maybe lack thereof, depending on how you see this) Daniel came to "your rescue" by coming up with an excuse for you.

"- Maybe they were hungry." He said without any indications of it being a joke or a lie- As the youngest yet craziest of the bunch, he always had that weird "naive yet dangerous" energy coming from him. He was naive enough to make that statement when it's very clear that you actually despise being near them, but he still was a son of Dimitrescu.

You know better than to underestimate any of these people.

The Lord didn't seem completely convinced as he side eyed Daniel who was blissfully eating his meal without acknowledging his dad's glance or his brother's looks of disapproval.

Without a warning you were pulled closer by your wrist and forced into sitting next to the Lord, who made a sign for another servant to bring you your food. This… Doesn't feel right at all, you're waiting for the worst to come yet you don't feel like you can ever prepare yourself enough for what they have in store.

"- M-My Lord- This isn't needed, I'm fine. I'll just continue my duties, if you can excuse me-" You plead, while trying to get up from your chair.

"- Oh but what host would I be if I didn't take better care of my guests? Poor thing, you must be starving if you can barely serve us wine-" And as his tone gets progressively more sarcastic and a bit louder, you can hear his sons snickering from the other side of the table, but you can't see them since you can't take your eyes away from him.

You're worried that if you look away for just one second, that you may not be able to see ever again.

"- It's so sad when one of our guests feels hungry- What's worse is when we are also very, very hungry."

"- Thirsty, even!"

"- Oh, I can feel my throat drying just at the thought of such misery!- Our dinner seems to be ruined."

You hear their whispers, you hear how they are clearly joking about this- How overly dramatic they're being over something so miniscule as you just- Ignoring them.

Let me remind you this is all because you refuse to look them in the eyes, that you refuse to give them any satisfaction for the heinous things they have done! You've seen so many people get hurt inside this castle only for their sick and twisted thirst and entertainment.

"- Indeed, my boys. My appetite is ruined, though dinner is not over yet-" Lord Dimitrescu spoke as he looked at his sons clearly enjoying your inevitable pain, but before he could continue he turns himself to you again, putting a hand on your arm and saying:

"- Wouldn't you agree?" Loud enough so that his sons could hear it, but soft enough to send the tiniest shivers down your spine.

"- …!"

"- No, no- Please, not again!-" He wouldn't dare do this, would he??

But before you could react he had already done it, you barely noticed how fast he had grabbed that knife to slice your wrist- His hand firmly gripping your arm as he made a deep enough cut so that your blood could be easier to access.

It somehow hurts just as badly as the first time his sons have stabbed your ankles and dragged you across the floor- At least you're not bumping into things like before, and even if it's a deep cut it's not as big as it could be if he used his claws to actually do this.

Oh, oh those claws- You almost thought he would use them on you… Those were something else. You can't remember exactly what happened, and why it happened, but you remember seeing him use those on another servant who may have crossed the line at some point.

Well "crossed the line"- More like "casually inconvenienced him". Lord Alcino may act like an incredibly high noble but he acts so childishly and in such an egotistical manner that you are surprised he can even have a castle like this in the first place! You don't remember what the servant has done to be so cruelly dismantled, but you don't doubt that it was for a stupid reason!

You miss that servant actually- Probably the only person who you actually talked with, and the first one to actually taught you how to do your job… You two could have been friends if he didn't intervene.

You briefly remember those moments before getting to experience the most weird sensation of all- Having your bloody cut be licked and sucked on. It hurts and it stings in a way that not only makes you want to cry but to also gag at the thought of you feeding this monster.

You refuse to look at him even in this scenario, you refuse to see him feeding off your blood… Sometimes you wish you were just as poisonous as some species of frogs, poisonous enough to make his mouth burn so he can experience a fraction of the pain he causes to others.

You tried fleeting away, you tried getting up and moving away but his grip on your arm only helped you in getting closer to him- You have your eyes closed as your only option is to cry and muffle your agony.

But as always, he is not satisfied with you just ignoring him. This was supposed to be a lesson, yet you're clearly avoiding your teacher as best as you can- But not today, little flower, you're not getting out of this so easily.

This is the first time he ever got to really taste your blood, as normally you would be behind the other servants while trying to learn how to please him, the only moments where he gets to see you is when it's dinner time, but oh- You're just so cruel!

Escaping inside your own little head while he has to content himself with just your image. Your presence is very much appreciated around this hour, little one-

He has noticed this before, of course, but it was only when he noticed his son's curiosity over the way you behave around them that made him organize this little trap. He didn't have everything planned actually, his plan only involved getting to this moment no matter what- And oh boy, has luck been on his side!

Your blood tastes better than expected of a commoner, your delicate and fearful whines of pain are just as delightful but what really gets him is this tough persona you try to convince everyone you have- You despise him, and it's clear to see why- But he knows his charms will probably work on you one way or the other.

He gripped your face trying to make sure you'll get to him in the eyes as he has a taste of you. Absolutely delicious, especially after you so gracefully "ruined" their dinner.

His sons were just watching as they continued to drink from their crimson glasses. They were just enjoying the show, as everything seems to easily amuse them- Their father was just showcasing how they were so much better than the common folk, and they have no other option but to take notes and to remember what they have to do if they ever feel ignored by the servants in the castle: Show who are the true masters of this place.

None of them were really interested in drinking from you, considering how all three seemed to recognize how their father has taken a liking towards you. No one would dare mess with their father's prey.

If you had enough strength in you, you would start vomiting as soon as this has started, but the more he takes from you the more you feel like you can barely stay conscious.

He wasn't supposed to take so much, at least not so soon- He wanted to just take a sip but he can't deny the fact he would rather drown himself in your blood than to let go.

He sighs, as he notices that you're slowly getting less and less aggressive, getting more and more tired as he drains you from this cut.

You're not unconscious yet, just barely stable enough to understand what's going on.

"- Sigh… Now that was a decent enough meal." He can't praise you for being tasty, can't have you being cocky around him.

"- Here, since I'm done here I'll take you to the servant's living quarters- And because I'm so kind I'll make sure that wound is safely secured and cleaned, so here- Come along now."

And as he stood up he offered you his hand so you could get up yourself, but you don't have enough energy to walk yourself to your room, thankfully you're already ready to go to bed and wish to never wake up again.

And as the nightmare never ends, he decides that if you are going to be difficult then you leave him no choice but to carry you there. How much has he taken from you?? Jesus, he should learn some self-control before doing this again- The absolute brute that he is.

Your vision may be a little screwed over because of the lack of red cells running through your body at the moment- But you have a weird feeling that you two aren't heading towards the servant's living quarters, as you feel like you two are quite literally going in the opposite direction.

Oh but it's fine- Right?

It'll be fine. Surely. After all, he already took what he wanted from you, and he doesn't seem to need more so- You probably won't have to worry about anything right now, dinner time is already over, you can finally relax now….

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

So I'm sick again- Sorry y'all, I just have a horrible immune system and I really don't understand what is wrong with me-

I'm sorry if you didn't like this boo :(

[meowzfordayz]

love language(s) — himejima gyomei

Author’s Note: my thumbs are not green. 🥀 Gyomei would be disappointed in me... can’t keep a plant to save my life. Actually: if my life were on the line, then prob would survive — my competency isn’t that horrid. Other than that drastic scenario, however... rip any plant placed under my care. 😵 

love language(s) — himejima gyomei

Himejima Gyomei x Reader

Word Count: ~1,800

CW: mild sexual content

Request Fulfilled: hello hello! may i request some gyomei hcs :> like,, what would be his love language/s [giving and receiving] hehe thank you!!

~faqs~

Giving

Hold up

Physical touch

Quality time

Gift giving

Verbal affirmation

What’s the fifth love language again ?? Trying to recall from memory…

AHA!

Acts of service (should be “5.” but tumblr formatting’s picky af)

So I must confess that I haven’t read any KNY manga 😬

Which means my perception of Gyomei is from the miniscule amount of screentime he got in s2 plus any fanfics about him that I’ve read

That being said, I feel like Gyomei gravitates toward giving Quality Time and Verbal Affirmation

Altho the softie in me *technically* imagines all the Hashira as cuddle bugs (albeit some more highkey than others) I am not touch starved tyvm Okay maybe just a little 😕

Gyomei just strikes me as particularly simple

Not like, simple in the noggin 😶

Just

Simply spending time together

And constantly announcing how splendid you are

He’s not into flashy gimmicks *cough* Tengen *cough*

I see him as someone who deeply values his alone time

Mind you, being alone on missions is different from having undisturbed time to oneself, ya feel?

Not to mention: it’s gotta be, to some degree, mentally exhausting to be moved to tears all the time — even when the tears are happy ones

So like, this man needs loads of time to decompress

And prob seeks out lower stim environments when socializing 

At the very least, he’s gotta suffer from dry eyes

Have you ever cried so much that your eyes hurt?

Now imagining crying a lot

I presume eye drops exist in Demon Slayer?

If Shinobu can regrow Zenitsu’s limbs, then eye drops must be canon 😤 

Welp, Gyomei definitely has a vial of dry-eyes-be-gone on him 24/7

I’m getting sidetracked

Himejima Gyomei’s the guy who’d rather read a book in bed with a mug of herbal tea vs go out with the other Hashira for drinks 

And by other Hashira I’m thinking mostly Kyojuro, Sanemi, and Tengen (Mitsuri only goes when Shinobu does, and vice versa)

Initially, you’d be hesitant to encroach on his alone time

He’d never exactly uninvite you, but he didn’t necessarily invite you either

Until one day when you semi jokingly remark while returning from a joint mission, “Gyomei-san, are we even romantically involved? We hardly do anything together. Unless you count fighting demons?”

And suddenly, he’s inviting you to practically everything he used to do alone

Book in bed with a mug of herbal tea? He wants you there ✅ Begins stock piling your favorites

Morning meditation? Invitation sent ✅ Whether or not you wake up in time to join him is entirely up to you 😴

Watering his plants? ✅ Begs you to come along, which, you almost regret bc he has sooo many plants and it’s stiflingly humid in his greenhouse yes this man has a private greenhouse, author makes the rules and he takes foreeevvverrr to water them bc, “They each need 30 seconds of water, 3 times. Okay, [y/n]-san?” buuut he’s a cutie 🌻 so mostly you just feel honored that he trusts you to care for his plants

As much as he enjoys being deployed on missions with you, he does not consider fighting demons to be quality time 🙄

You lowkey wrecked him asking if y’all were “even romantically involved” bc ?? 😭 He adores you ?? 💖 Cherishes you ?? 💗 Loves you ?? 💝

You’d literally sent him in a tizzy

“What if [y/n]-san breaks up with me?” Oh wait 😐 They don’t even know whether we’re together

Dw, he wasn’t frustrated by you

Mostly just distraught at his own lack of recognition that you needed ✨attention✨

P.S. The morning after your fateful remark, you’d awoken to a letter slipped under your front doorstep inviting you most affectionately and hopefully to join Gyomei for an evening stroll 💌

Srsly tho

He has the time to water a bajillion plants on the daily

—Logistical plothole here what with frequently being away on missions: I’m aware 🙃

—But that’s what hiring gardeners is for 🤗

But the most important plant was wilting before his very own eyes and he didn’t fricking notice ?!?!

You’re his prettiest-flower-that-isn’t-a-flower

Ofc, he doesn’t douse you with water

He douses you with thoughtful compliments

Exhibit A: “The color of your haori truly highlights the gentleness of your eyes.”

Exhibit B: “Your fingers are so elegant plucking the dead leaves from my hostas. Thank you for pruning them with me.”

Exhibit C: “Your laughter is a butterfly’s wing against my cheek — so light and tender, and capable of granting me endless joy.”

He douses you with encouragement and pride

Exhibit A: “Thank you for cooking dinner [y/n]-san. You’re doing a wonderful job! I’m sure you won’t overcook the rice this time.” And if you do, then he’ll try his best to only cry a little, just for you

Exhibit B: “I’m so impressed you beheaded that demon before me, [y/n]-san! May I watch you train sometime? It’s been a while since we sparred, and I believe I could learn a thing or two from you.”

—He really didn’t let you have it

—No, really 😌

—It was all you baybee 🥳

—Okay so he might have accidentally absolutely unintentionally moved a tad slower than you so you could reach it first

Exhibit C: “I know it hurts, [y/n]-san, but I know you can handle it.” this will remain appropriate, unfortunately “A wayward sprain could never restrain your resilience and spirit.”

—He still cries as you hobble around adorably, then cries bc he just wants you to okay, and cries some more bc he gets to scoop you into his arms and tuck you into his bed — the injured must rest!

And most annoyingly significantly, he douses you in nonstop-when will it stop-plsmakeitstop-he really doesn’t have to continue feeling so guilty about it reassurance of your romantic involvation I don’t think “involvation” is a real word oops

Exhibit A; Random Day | Random Location | Random Time: “Do you know who my romantic partner is, [y/n]-san?” he smiles widely. You sigh. “You are, [y/n]-san! You are my romantic partner.”

Exhibit B; Random Day | Gyomei’s Greenhouse | Early Afternoon: “Do you know what romantic partners do, [y/n]-san?” he leans down and pecks the top of your head cheerfully. You groan. “They nurture nature together! And [y/n]-san — we nurture nature together!”

Exhibit C; Random Day | Gyomei’s Bed | Nightfall: “Do you know what the worst part about having a romantic partner is, [y/n]-san?” he murmurs softly, bookmarking his page as he angles his body to face yours. You lay your book aside as well, quietly placing your hands over his. “It’s knowing there could never be enough clothes, rope, string, anything, to escape the depth of your devotion to them,” he pauses, struggling to collect himself, “But that is also the best part. You are my partner, [y/n]-san, and I am devoted to you.”

—

Ahhhhh

Gyomei, devoted, to you

His time spent, on you

His words spoken, to you

What a gem 💎🥺

Receiving

Time to give myself emotional whiplash transitioning from that bucket of fluff to another bucket of fluff

—

Imo, the language that screams GIMME the most for Gyomei

… as in, he’s screaming “GIMME” 😂

Is Physical Touch

Except he’s actually suuuper bashful about it

And never screams for it

—That’s his job

—To make you scream for it 😳

—That was an attempt at what I’d hoped would be a hilarious innuendo

—Guess not ☹️

It took you a while to figure him out

He doesn’t exactly shy from your touch

More like melts into it ☺️

But the only physical touch he’s naturally comfortable asking for is… 🥁🥁🥁

Holding hands 🤝

Beyond holding hands, Gyomei relies on you to lead the way

Creating a sort of catch 22, because you try your best to be cognizant and respectful of his upbringing

Which, his upbringing ≠ Physical Touch

Usually, you initiate touch in bed

Not like that

Yeesh

I already told you this will remain appropriate, unfortunately 👀

You initiate touch in bed, away from curious eyes, immersed in the soothing glow of cerulean and lavender lanterns — hand painted by you and Gyomei

Toasty, sweet aromas of sobacha and kuromamecha tea cling to his olive green kakebuton, a gift from you to him  “just because”

As the moon peers above the horizon, you’re tentative, knee leaning lightly into his thigh, your arm barely skimming his, the turning of pages floating pleasantly between you

Sitting in his bed, beside him, because he wants you there, is achingly meaningful

You move like honey as the moon ascends, a brush of your elbow against his ribcage here, a tap of your fingertip on his hip there

Not teasing, not seducing — easing him into your closeness

The pressure of your knee leaning on his thigh increases and increases, until he gently murmurs, “I’d feel very happy if our legs were fully touching.”

When the moon reaches and rests at its highest point, you press your mouth delicately to his shoulder

Gyomei’s focus wavers, book falling from his grip to his lap, a low, contented moan vibrating in his throat

“Another. Please. [y/n]-san. Touch…”

“Touch, Gyomei-san?” you smile tenderly

“Mm…” he doesn’t elaborate

Doesn’t have to

You have him figured out

“How does this feel?” your fingernails scratch faintly along his jawline Mm

“And this?” you playfully flick his ear Mm

“You’re warm, Gyomei-san,” your body adjusts itself Mm

Taut as you stretch to kiss the corner of his eye

Familiar as you exhale slowly, breath leaving a quiet trail of goosebumps from his cheek to his neck to the edge of his collarbone; your fingers wrap reassuringly around the strength of his wrist, lifting his palm to your nose; you nuzzle cutely, nipping at his callouses; then, you grip his hand with both of yours, his fingers straightening as you peep at him through them

“May I?” you whisper

Mm

You release his hand, sleepily settling further into bed, rolling onto your side

So casually, so safely, you tuck yourself into his sitting form, hugging his nearest forearm to your chest as you pull your knees up

—This is how you fall asleep, clinging to Gyomei

His heart hums, a constant, mellow bliss

As he picks up his book, and continues to read

…

Before you even ask-

Yes, he fumbles his book every so often

It’s hard to read with just one hand holding (the book) AND turning (the pages)

[istorkyou]

The Break (Modern!Ivar AU)

A Modern!Ivar x reader

Warnings - Language, alcohol use, mentions of divorce.

Synopsis - Your best vacation ever.

Tag List (let me know if you want to be added or removed :) )

@smears-and-spots @punkrocknpearls @youbloodymadgenius @momowhoo @zuxiezendler @nothingtolosebutweight @not-another-viking-fanfic-blog @ivar-s-my-brat-tamer @pieces-by-me @heavenly1927 @berryonasummerevening @synnersaint @threekeysandkiwis @petite-hime

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Chapter 3

The rest of the day passes much like the morning: naked, fooling around and fucking.

“Do you want to go out and get some dinner?” He asks as his hand runs through your hair, your head on his chest, still sweating from your last orgasm. 

��I thought no clothes were allowed today. Room service?” You tease him. 

“I did say that, didn't I? Problem is, I’m starving, and if we don’t get out of this room there is no way I will eat anything but you for the rest of the night.”

You smirk at his words. “Fine, but I’m having another shower,” you move away from him and he grabs your face turning it towards him.

“Oh yeah? Repeat of this morning?” He says into your mouth then kisses you. You pull away from him.

“No, my vagina needs a break. I’m locking the door behind me!” You hop out of bed and do as you say. 

In the shower you let the water run over you with a smile on your face. This man is making you feel more desired, more beautiful than your ex has in the last 5 years. It’s a perfect fuck you to him that you

are having a holiday fling before the divorce mediation starts next week. Not that you will ever tell him what you have been up to, sometimes an internal fuck you is as good as an external one. 

You finish in the shower wrapping up in another towel and leave the bathroom.

You find him standing at the end of the bed looking down at an outfit. He went into the wardrobe and picked out clothes. You frown at him and look at what he has picked out. It is your work clothes, tight pencil skirt, a black fitted button down shirt, your high heels. Your amour.

“These don't look at all like the clothes you were wearing when we met or the ones you bought from the shop. Wear this out. It’s sexy as fuck,” he tells you. 

“I’m not wearing that. That’s a work outfit.” You go into your wardrobe, pulling out the red jumper dress you bought yesterday. 

“As nice as that is, you are wearing what I’ve picked out for you.” His tone isn’t controlling, or rude. It’s factual, like he has no doubt you will do what he says. You frown at him. 

“Why?” You ask. He shrugs.

“I told you, it’s sexy. I want you to wear it for me please.” 

You are the boss in most areas of your life, having someone tell you what to do, what to wear feels so exciting. You smirk at him and lick your lips.

You look over his outfit. “You get to wear jeans and a t-shirt but I have to dress like I’m heading for a day at the office. Doesn’t seem fair.” 

“Alright, if you promise to wear this I will swing home and change. I will meet you here..” he scribbles an address down“..in an hour. Reservation under my name.” 

“Which is?” You huff out a laugh. 

He laughs loudly, like he’s only just realised he has been a nameless man to you for over twenty four hours. “Ivar Lothbrok.” 

“Ok. Deal. Are you going to stand me up, Ivar Lothbrok?” Your eyes narrow suspiciously. 

“Are you going to stand me up, Y/N……” he looks at you, raising his eyebrows, waiting for your surname. 

“Y/N is enough, I think.” You smirk at him.

“Ok, be mysterious if you must, woman.” He walks to you, tips your face up to meet his kiss. “I will see you in an hour.”

--------------------------------------------------------

You head out to meet the taxi exactly an hour later, you know it’s a 10 minute ride to the restaurant and you don’t want to get there before him. You’ve decided that if he isn’t there already you will leave. You won’t wait a minute for him. 

The taxi drops you off and you enter the restaurant, greeted by the hostess 

“Reservation for Ivar Lothbrok.” You smile at her, trying to cover your nerves. She checks her screen, nods and looks up to you. 

“This way please.”

The restaurant is very big and busy. You follow her to a table near the back of the room. You feel the familiar prickle of self consciousness, walking through such a packed place, on a weekend, in these clothes. 

The hostess stops in front of a table and steps to the side, revealing Ivar sitting waiting for you. A fleeting look of relief crosses his face before a cheeky smile replaces it, he stands up to greet you with a kiss on the cheek. 

Ivars eyes travel over you, smirking at the outfit. “Thank you for wearing it, you look sensational.” 

You take in his appearance. A casual, light grey suit with a simple round neck, black T-shirt and black pocket square. He looks incredible. You don’t know what you expected him to wear but it wasn’t this. 

“You like this?” He holds his jacket open a bit so you admire him.

“You look good,” you say trying to sound casual as  your eyes roam over him.

“You think I look better than good, I can see it on your face.” He raises one eyebrow.

“Arrogance and confidence are divided by a very fine line, Ivar,” you lightly scold him and he chuckles at you. 

“I’m just saying it as I see it. You blush easily. It’s fucking adorable but it gives you away.” He tells you, making you blush even deeper.

He orders a bottle of wine for you both and it’s a great choice. You settle into the conversation easily. The waiter comes to take your order. Ivar orders for you, which you are surprised at, but he pretty much orders what you would have so you don’t challenge him. 

“So, Y/N. What do you do?” He enquires.

You don’t want to talk about yourself. You don’t want to know much about him and don't want him knowing much about you. You want to keep this casual, about sex. Your life is complicated at the moment and you just want a break from being you this week. 

“Corporate shit.” Your reply is noncommittal, you take a big mouthful of wine.

“Is that your official job title?” His face is amused. “No last name, no job information…” his eyes run over you. “Fine, don’t tell me anything then,” he smirks.

“Do you like working in retail?” You ask him, trying to shift the focus off yourself. He gives you a puzzled look, then clarity passes his features. 

“Oh! I don’t actually work in the shop. It’s my brother's store and he had an appointment so I was covering for him. I am starting a new job next week,” he tells you. 

“Doing what?” 

“Corporate shit,” he tells you, smiling in a self satisfied manner. You laugh at him, you suppose you deserved that.

There are a couple of seconds of silence between you.

“So, how long have you been married?” He asks out of the blue, completely catching you off guard.

“W..what?” Is all you manage to say. Your brain starts racing with questions.

“Married. How long?” He repeats, his eyes bore into yours. He doesn’t seem pissed off at you. Just matter of fact, again. 

It’s not often you are lost for words but you are now. How does he know? You know your eyes are darting around, trying to avoid his. So much for keeping it casual and light. You can feel your whole face burning up.

“I.. I don’t know what to say to that.” 

“How about the truth? Don’t look so freaked out.” 

“How do you know I’m married?” You choke out.

“You’ve got a tan line on your ring finger,” he gestures to your hand. 

You look down, you hadn’t even noticed. A fleeting sneer passes over your face. Can’t even get rid of the evidence of him even though I threw the ring at his stupid face. 

“Fuck my life,” you don’t know you’ve said this out loud. 

“It doesn’t bother me by the way. You are away with work and want to have some fun. That's fine with me.” He shrugs. 

“I’m…” The waiter brings over your food at the moment and it gives you a second to gather your thoughts.

You clear your throat when the waiter leaves. 

“I am married. You are very observant. I am in the midst of getting a divorce. It’s messy, very messy.” For the first time you aren’t looking him into the eye. It’s too personal.

“Are you really getting a divorce?” You can tell by his tone that he thinks you aren’t being honest. “You don't have to lie to me. l wouldn’t think any less of you if you are just a bored wife looking for some fun.” A patronising chuckle leaves him, like he thinks he knows everything about you all of a sudden. 

Your head snaps up to meet his gaze. What a total prick. You harden at his words. You put on your professional demeanour, you deal with things better like this. 

“I don’t lie. Ever. I’m not a fucking cheater. Your opinion of me doesn’t matter, be it positive or negative.” Your tone is harsh and you are pretty sure your fave matches. 

His mouth opens and he shakes his head but you don't let him speak.

“Just a bored wife? I wish I had the time to be bored. I was here for work. I am taking a few days off before I head back to my shit show of a personal life. You were a welcome distraction from it,” you put your cutlery down and start to put your coat on and pick up your bag, “but now you’ve pissed me off so I’m leaving.” You tell him as calmly as possible, but you know your face is giving you away. 

“No, no! Don’t leave. Please.” The slight panic in his tone makes you stop. He has reached across the table, his hand on yours. “I’m sorry if I insulted you.” He says in a genuine tone, “that truly wasn’t my intention.”

You glare at him trying to decide what to do.

“I’m sorry. Please stay, Y/N. Let's finish our meal. We can change the subject, unless you want to talk about it?”

His confident demeanour has slipped slightly. You can see he’s regretting his flippant words. You put your bag and coat on the back of your chair and settle back into the seat. 

“You shouldn’t make assumptions about people. I don’t want to talk about it with you, Ivar. We aren’t friends. You aren’t my therapist. I don’t need you for emotional support.” 

“Why are you getting a divorce?” Totally disregarding what you have said. 

You want to tell him it’s none of his business but actually, he might be a great person to just let it out to. You’ve been keeping it inside for a hot minute, skirting around the subject with your friends and family, too ashamed to let them know the extent of what you saw, as if it somehow reflects badly on you. 

“I found him balls deep in his secretary. In his office. Isn’t that the most fucking astounding cliché you’ve ever heard?” You've actually said the words out loud. To say it so candidly is a giant relief, You didn’t know voicing it would be so cathartic. 

“You feel a bit better saying that out loud, don’t you? I can see your shoulders look less tense” Ivar observes. “Take it from me, as someone who has had the immense pleasure of fucking you, the man is a total moron.” 

You huff out a laugh, turn your usual shade of beetroot and shrug a bit at his words. 

“So, you don’t need my emotional support? What do you need me for?” He wiggles his eyebrows at you suggestively 

“Orgasms.” You reply simply. 

“How long are you here for, Y/N?”

“A few days,” you answer him with a shrug. 

“May I know your last name yet?” His eyes narrow.

You smirk at him. “No you may not.”

You eat the rest of your meal at ease in each other’s company. You chat generally, about the city, a little about his past, you don’t tell him any other personal information, the divorce talk was enough. 

When they bring the check you both reach for it, it’s just an automatic reaction for you to go for it.

“You better take your hand off that check immediately.” His face is like thunder at you, his eyebrows drawn together in irritation.

“I’ve seen the labels on some of your clothes, how much you spent in my brother's shop, I know you have money, but don’t insult me by trying to pick up this check. I invited you out for dinner. I will pay. Do you understand?” His tone is low and assertive. You withdraw your hand slowly and he nods at you, his face softening. “Thank you.”

“Sorry, force of habit.” You tell him and look down at your wine glass. 

“Wow, your soon to be ex husband is an asshole, isn’t he? I mean aside from the secretary fucking but you paid for lots of stuff as well, didn’t you?” Ivar shakes his head. You just wave your hand as if to bat away his words. You don’t want to talk about him with Ivar.

He pays the bill and you both head out into the chilly evening together. You stop outside and turn to him.

“Thank you for dinner, Ivar. Thank you for the last 24 hours. It’s been very, very fun.” 

“Why are you speaking to me as if I’m not coming back to your room with you? You told me you wanted orgasms from me and I haven't given you anywhere near enough yet. Let’s go.” 

“Ivar….” You start, you aren’t even really sure what you want to say to him. You don’t have the time to think about it because his hand is on your throat, firmly but gently, minimal pressure but assertive nonetheless. His thumb is stroking your skin. 

“Don’t argue with me. I can feel your pulse under my hand, it’s quick. Let’s see if I can make it quicker.” He moves his face to your neck, his hot breath spreading out over your skin and he places an open mouthed kiss over your pulse point, running his tongue over it back and forth before pulling away.

“Thought so. I felt it speed up on my tongue. You want me to come back with you. I will respect what you tell me though, even if it isn't what your body is saying. So, what are you telling me?” He pulls his face back, waiting for your answer. 

“Come back with me,” it's a no brainer for you, you smile at him shyly.   

“Good answer.” He kisses you and you head back to your hotel.

He makes you come so many times when you get back you lose count. 

Chapter 4

[lin-nin]

Tribulation & Tenderness - Chapter 1

Ship: Main Technoblade x Reader, some Dream x Reader

Plot: You're a princess in a Kingdom suffering a years long famine. In a desperate attempt to help your people, you accept one simple offer: Marriage to the crown prince of a neighboring kingdom. Anything to help your people survive. Surely it can't be too bad, can it?

Chapter List: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 Disclaimer:   Cross-posted on Wattpad (discontinued) and Ao3. This is based off of everyone's CHARACTERS. I do not write fanfic based off the actual people.

This is a kingdom AU of DreamTeam & SleepyBoisInc’s characters! These are not the real people and I tried to portray them as how their characters are in the SMP as best I could. I took some small liberties to fit this specific plot line. I am also not caught up with the SMP since it is a lot to watch. In all honesty, at time of reading this Jschlatt has only just joined the server in regards to where I’m at.

How am I writing about characters I haven’t even met yet? I know enough vaguely about them to do so.

Also the kingdoms, in the original draft, are not named as I don’t know what to name them yet. This may change later.

Thanks for reading, though!

--

Chapter 1: Betrothal

"What?!" You heaved a sigh at the voice, moving your fingers from your hair as you turned to the rather affronted voice. In front of you stood your childhood friend, Dream. A scowl marred the visible portion of his face, one green eye narrowed at you. His distaste was clear, and you could only sigh again.

"We need to end this famine, Dream. Besides, a convenient marriage is a convenient marriage. I'm the age to marry. I have no one I want to marry. I'll marry who I need to assure the safety and security of my people." It was something so simple. Your people were currently starving, barely managing by. Even the castle and the nobles felt the waves of this. One of the neighboring kingdoms had offered help, but at a hefty price. Your hand in marriage to their crown prince.

"It's just a bad harvest! You can't go there to those warmongering monsters. Have you ever even met them?" His arm flung towards the wall, a vague gesticulation towards the other kingdom. He was right, you had never met someone from there. They had a grim past of war and conquest. Another reason it was convenient for you to go.

"It's been a bad harvest for a few years. While their values may differ from ours, marrying their prince has its perks. It should protect us from war with them, at least while I live." You walked to Dream, lowering his arm gently. A soft but firm hold. "I'll be fine. Besides, I'll be meeting them within the week."

You knew very little of this country, truly. They had differing reputation. The men called them monsters, while older soldiers said they were savages on the battlefield. Working women in the village insisted that they were just like any other country, but they at least had an attractive royal family. The servants in the castle seemed to agree with that sentiment. You? You had cause to believe both.

"A week? You- A week?!" Dream stammered in anger, or disbelief. Maybe both. He pushed your hands away from him, turning to pace around your room. Another sigh fell from your lips, eyes traveling from the axe bouncing against his back to the open door. Castle life was resuming as normal. Like their only princess wasn't being carted off soon to some foreign kingdom for marriage. This kingdom would be fine. Your parents were great rulers, and your older brother would be as well. You just worried about your future more than you would admit.

"-unknown kingdom run by fucking brutes, and you're giving me a week with you before I never see you again?!" Dream's rising voice ripped you from your thoughts, gaze finding him again. An enraged green eye focused solely on you, and you could only take a deep breath. He always had a volatile anger.

"You'll see me again, I'm sure. I'll be sure to write,” You soothed softly, offering up what you could only hope was a reassuring smile. There was no telling if it actually did, either. He definitely did seem to calm a little at that, at least. A little wasn’t quite enough though.

“It’s not the same. What am I supposed to do once you’re gone?” He grumbled, looking down at you with a furrowed brow. You resisted the temptation to laugh at the expression and general cluelessness. This wasn’t the time to tease him. He was like a puppy sometimes. 

“I think you’ll manage just fine. You could always go annoy George.” A smile graced your lips at the thought. George was your older brother, crown prince to the kingdom. He and Dream got along fine, thankfully. You were sure that he would keep your friend in check while you were gone. Dream would just have to get over it all once you had left.

“It’s not the same, he has responsibilities to attend to,” He huffed, head shaking.

“As do I. That’s why we’re having this conversation. How about your other friend?” You turned from him, moving about your room. You needed to think about what you would have to bring with you. Which dresses and which jewelry. You didn’t even know what the court was like over there. 

“Maybe. Are you sure you’ll be fine? You’ll come back if something happens?” He was calming down, it seemed. Good. You could do without him being frantic and yelling. It was always exhausting when it got like that. You paused and thought about his words. Would you even be able to come back? You had an inkling of a feeling that once you were married, you’d be stuck there. A white lie for the sanity of your friend wouldn’t hurt.

“Of course I will, Dream. If anything is wrong, you’ll be the first to know. I won’t stay where I’m in danger.” You turned to him, once more offering a soft smile. There was no telling if you were right in your words. Would you return? Would you be safe there? No one knew, and only time would tell.

Next Chapter | >

[yeahimaloser]

Dating Dabi Headcannons

Ok so, this ISN’T the Dabi x reader fanfic. These are just some romantic Dabi headcanons! 

I did this to deal with the new manga chapter and also… I live in America and I’m a little stressed.

Also requests are open!!

ALSOOOO I’m really sorry but I’m a little new here so I don’t know how to tag people (I’m really sorry).

But I really liked writing this! Hope you guys did too!

No pronouns mentioned!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dabi needs an s/o how can deal with his behavior.

He obviously didn’t have the best childhood so he lowkey needs you to be understanding of him.

He’ll never tell you this, but he’s SUPER touch starved.

If you so much as hold this man's hand he’ll literally melt.

But you’ll never know because he hides it so well.

That being said, if you two are cuddling he’ll warm up his hands for you if you're cold.

“Hey babe I’m cold, can you grab me a blanket?”

“No need dollface. I’ll just heat up a little ok sweetheart?”

Oh he really likes pet names.

Doll, dollface, sweetheart, and baby are his favorites.

KISS HIS SCARS AND TELL HIM YOU LIKE THEM!!

This man feels so insecure about his scars that if you tell him you think they’re cool he’ll be so taken aback.

If you KISS them he’ll consider marrying you.

Randomly he’ll act really cold because he’s not used to so much affection.  

But after this little mood-swing expect a lot of random kisses and random gifts.

Oh, he steals a lot of shit for you.

Like a lot.

His love language is probably gift giving because of his childhood, he thinks that he can only buy your love.

He actually doesn’t mind you coming on random missions or meeting other villains or new recruits.

In fact he prefers it.

If he's sitting down he wants you on his lap.

“Come here doll, I’m getting bored.”

The other person in the meeting has a problem with it?

They can fuck off.

Literally, he’ll tell them to fuck off.

He will randomly pull you into a really passionate kiss and tell you really sweet shit.

“Baby, I’m so lucky to have you.”

“Did you eat today doll? Need you to be healthy for me ok?”

“I love you a lot sweetheart... Don’t tell anyone else I said that ok?”

This is probably because he wants you to know how much he loves you. 

OK THIS IS MANGA 290 SPOILERS BELOW!!!!!

With him being Toya he won't tell you until late into your relationship.

And once he does, it’s not romantic at all.

You're both laying in bed, he wakes up earlier than you and just looks at you.

When you do wake up he just… tells you.

“Oh, good morning Dabi how did you-”

“Toya Todoroki. That's my name.”

“...what.”

He just wanted to let you know.

He thought it was a good time.

Overall, if you can help him with the LOAD of trauma he has, he’s an amazing boyfriend.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I really hope you liked it! Don’t worry my Dabi x reader will come out soon I promise!

Also part 2 of cutie will also come out soon! As well as part 3 to Oh, To Be In Love!

Thank you so much!! Have an amazing day!!

[its-deputy-caleb]

Hey it was hard choosing one sorry :0

7. What story/headcanons do you feel the proudest of? 

12. Who is your favorite author?

15. What is the fanfic you’ve written that you’re most proud of? 

20. What feedback makes you the happiest to hear?

Hope you're having a good day <3

:O don’t ever apologise for choosing more than one!! and i am having a pretty good day despite my flu! i hope ur’s is good too! <33

7. what story/headcannons do you feel the proudest of?

good thing i have many favourites of mine! i think besides “hey sleepyhead” it’s gotta be my request for a drunk sappy micah or the ask for some touch starved micah.

literally any one of my fics where he’s all soft are gonna be my favs.

12. who is your favourite author?

well in the rdr2 fandom i cant choose bc there are so many. i think some of my all time favs would be

@ttuesday @kitty-the-outlaw @12timetraveler

as all their work is amazing but lord i have many favourite authors on here.

in general though just a couple of favourite authors would be like evelyn waugh and philosophers like plato and Friedrich nietzsche bc i’m a boring old person that likes dry english texts or an existential crisis.

15. what is the fanfic you’re most proud of?

oh i’m super proud of my sadie adler x rich fem reader bc i not only liked how it turned out but i also got to write a different character than the general reader and could channel my inner rich bitch 💅

20. what feedback is the best?

i did a mini rant to this before about just loving when mutuals or blogs that i love like/reblog a fic

but it’s also just to hear and see that people want to read my stuff and the more requests i get the more valid i feel as a writer bc it feels like people genuinely want to read my fics

[idgaf2022]

“ I THINK I’M LOSING MY MIND” PART ONE - TOMMY SHELBY X READER X ALFIE FANFIC

Hello everyone, this is my first fanfic ever and I kinda hated it. So, Please be nice.

Synopses: Tommy got a fling pregnant, then out of duty they married but don’t get along well. She’s trying but he’s distant and cold. Tommy meets the new barmaid and eventually falls in love with her while neglecting his wife and son. (Timeline/places are different, set in season 3 during the Russian business).

WARNING: mentions of toxic relationship, self harm and thinking of suicide.

He left after he came, went back to his bedroom and closed the door. I lied naked in bed, still. Feeling cold and broken. I always wonder if he does the same with her. Does he treat her like a whore, like he does to me ? Does he make her feel used, like scum ? In reality, I have no idea, I tried to understand him, cure him but soon I realized that it wasn’t enough. And now I’m destroyed, aching for a heartless man to love me back.

The next morning, me and Oliver, our five-years-old son were having breakfast in the kitchen when Tommy arrived.  He went directly to the bathroom, I heard the water running down, and then he came to join us.

“Where were you?” I finally asked.

He took his time, lighting his cigarette and then stroking our son’s hair.

“Working.” - He answered.

“In the early hours of the morning?”

“Yep.” - Tommy said before picking up Oliver and heading towards our backyard.

“Starve to death then, your bloody idiot.” - I whispered to myself.

Another day. One day less for the very end. There are days I can’t help but feel like this. So broken inside and empty. I like to remember the happy girl I was before the war, before the beginning of the end. Before meeting Tommy and being dishonored by my family for carrying a child of a gangster. Now I laugh at this. They weren’t disgusted at me, they were worried about my safety but I dismissed their feelings and now I’m in this situation.

Back then I had hope, for me and Tommy, I thought that once he bought this huge house everything would be alright. We’d raise our family and make roots here. I would help him with his war trauma and we would be so happy. I guess I was wrong. He didn’t even want to try. I felt helpless and now I’m running in circles, seeing him each day falling in love with someone else.

I don't know many people in Birmingham and sadly my five-year-old son is my only friend. How pathetic.

Mondays. I love Mondays because they mean fresh starts. I can go out, see people, take walks in the park and forget, even for a moment, about my fucking sad reality.

“Mama, can we buy a lollipop?” - Oliver asked.

“Of course, go on” - I said while looking around, and then I saw it. I guess knowing about it hurt less than actually seeing it happen.

Tommy left the pub and the barmaid followed him. They entered a small building. At that moment, my whole world was shattered, and suddenly I couldn't breathe... I ran into the nearest shop and kneeled on the floor.

“Mama!” - Oliver screamed and ran after me.

It seemed that everything clipped together, and I remembered about my little boy. My strength. My reason to keep going. My person. In fact, my everything.

“Don’t worry baby, mama is just fine.” - I said to soothe him.

Out of the back door came a man and I realized I was inside a bakery.

“Oi, miss. You can’t go on entering people’s business like that. Almost gave me a fucking heart attack.” - Said the man with a humorous and serious tone.

He had a rustic appearance. Strong, calloused hands, well-built, and a charming face hidden by a gigantic beard. I almost forgot that I just got publicly humiliated.

“I… Sorry for that” - I stood there on the floor staring at him. I was mesmerized.

“Come here. Up you go” - He said as he helped me to get up.

“Thank you,...?

“Alfie. Are you Jewish?” - Alfie asked.

“No, I’m not.”

“You seem Jewish.” - He continued, with a straight and questioning face.

“Well, my parents are Jewish… But I’m not.” - I felt like I owed him an explanation. “

“Is that yours?” - He said pointing at Oliver.

“Yes, he is. Anyway, I should get going.”

I stumbled a bit with the words, and he gave me the most beautiful smile.

“Alright, take care. Goodbye, little one.”

On the way home I had the best idea on how to get back at Thomas. I’m tired of this fucking life. I’m done with it.

“Mama, who was that?” - Oliver asked as we got to the front door.

“That man in the bakery? - I bent down to be on his height and looked right into his eyes. “He is mama’s way out.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Well, let’s find out!”

----------------------------------------------------- - - - -------------------------------- - - -----------

On the next part:

“Is dinner ready?” - Thomas asked when he got home.

“I and Oliver already had dinner.” - I said not really acknowledging him. “I thought you weren’t coming home anyway”.

He lit a cigarette and sat on the couch beside me. While reading, I felt his hands climbing my leg, and then he tried to kiss me.

“I’m tired. Good night” - I was about to get up, but he stopped me.

“What the fuck is this?”

“I don’t know, you tell me, Thomas.”

[13tinysocks]

I wanna see some anti fanfic rec plspls

You asked for it. May I present, a creepypasta x reader anti-reading list.

Quick Disclaimer: No author names will be dropped nor fic links or sites they’re on. I dislike these works but I don’t want anybody to be harassed. Don’t go after people, holy shit. These works are only here because of some heavily disturbing content. One of them just makes me super mad because of a few circumstances. These are purely my opinions. I am not writing Jesus nor do I write the cleanest stories out there. Dark topics should be explored in fiction. However, some things just shouldn’t fucking be romanticized. Fanfic is practice, I’m not taking points off for wonky writing.

You’re allowed to like whatever the fuck you want. I’m not shaming you or the authors. I’m talking about media I dislike, which I am completely allowed to do. If your friend or favorite author’s work is in here, maybe don’t send this to them. I get it’s tempting but still, it could be upsetting. Again, don’t fucking harass anybody. 

This list is in order of - Pisses me off to FBI open up to whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck.

Content warning for: Rape, miscarriages, abortion, necrophilia, sexism, child grooming, multiple types of abuse, ablism, and meanie head criticism of popular fics. Seriously, this gets exceptionally bad at the final one. 

First up in our lineup a pretty popular. It’s the least upsetting and problematic. It’s a various creepypasta x reader mansion fic. This is more of an honorable mention because it’s frustrating to read over being super bad.

Recruited.

Summary: (Y/n) killed an attempted rapist and covered it up years ago. She is recruited into the cpp’s to be considered as a proxy along with two others. Follow her through a journey of no character development into becoming a proxy.

What’s wrong with it?

-Brian literally is a misogynist. He literally hates women.

-(Y/n) is an asshole. Not in an entertaining bad bitch way. No, in an unaware bland way. Points off for being a business major, girl you have no soul and it shows.

-She is treated like the voice of reason who is always morally correct. Thing is, if anyone is neurodivergent or mentally ill and ya’know shows symptoms of it, they’re cRaZy, evil, and an annoyance. 

-Yes, people creeping on or getting clingy can be shitty/annoying but sometimes the way (Y/n) acts is completely unjust. It left a bad taste in my mouth because the character felt okay to be shitty to people who weren’t like her.

-The endings are disheartening and make no fucking sense. Cody, who is clingy at worst, gets rejected Jack, who TRIES TO BREAK (Y/N)’S FUCKING LEG, gets with her. Can I get a HELLO?????? 

-(Y/n) also doesn’t get with Jeff who suddenly turned into her brother character after hundreds of pages of romantic tension. Again, Recruited is not inherently bad but it may be really disappointing to people who are here for 1-2 specific characters.

-Queer bait-y author’s notes and inconstant love interests. Author’s notes would read like “Teehee, maybe I’ll make (Y/n) have Jane and/or Natalie endings……” But that never happens after it’s teased multiple times. I get not wanting to add more to your plate but don’t suggest it if you don’t want to do it or only want to please heterosexual readers.

-They put Tim outside like a dog for being a bad boy. 

-Author’s notes and percentages fill in details for the reader that aren’t in the fic. I’m not going to read all of that. Put important information in the fic. 

-Lot’s of excessive jealousy. Painfully heteronormative. 

What about the good?

Readable. Dramatic like Big Brother. Can be an entertaining read if it’s your thing.

Conclusion

Left a bad taste in my mouth. I feel like the author literally hated half the cast and was annoyed while writing them. When you don’t enjoy writing something it shows. Also, her other work (pandemic! Reader X X-Virus) is super tone-deaf and I don’t recommend that either. Don’t recommend joining this fic’s Discord server either. Won’t get into details but in my and my friend's experience: it’s not a good environment with a lot of playing favorites. 

-

Next up on our list is a grossly popular Eyeless Jack X Reader fic.

My Imaginary Monster

Summary: Immoral monster, Eyeless Jack, sneaking into a 5-year-old girl's room. He gets attached, sticks around through her childhood. Thing is, he gets real creepy. Starts to catch feelings for a 16-year-old he’s watched grow up. He kisses a minor who reciprocates his feelings which is textbook child grooming. Nasty fucker runs away, there’s some drama from that. (Y/n) grows up, comes back to town, and Jack’s a’creepin’.

What’s wrong with it?

-Jack is a literal child groomer. 

-Do I need to say more??? Immortal adult kisses a 16 y/o. Gross.

-People in the comments are going gaga for grooming. Are you kidding me, he’s a pedophile.

-The OC’s take up more than half of the ~200 page run time. I couldn’t get attached to any of them even after the supposed significance. Which is fine but they took up so much of the fic that it got boring and annoying incredibly quickly.

What’s good about it?

I enjoyed Ben. He did the right thing and I can respect that. Trans and poluyamourus reprrensentation.

Conclusion:

No child grooming in my fucking lobby. I think the author was trying to paint it in a bad light. But the thing is, you can write a creepy stalker fic without making them a groomer. A lot of people are trying to escape their troubles through fanfic, including those who’ve dealt with sexual abuse. Don’t bring that into x reader spaces. Don’t put readers through that again. 

-

Last and absolutely least we got a Tim X Reader. 

BIG TW. FUCKING HUGE TW. MOST OF THE TW’S FROM EARLIER ARE FROM THIS ONE FIC. 

Pure Forgiveness.

Summary: (Y/n) is abused by her mom. Her dad killed himself and she’s all (Y/n)’s got in this world. Until Tim comes along and “saves” her. He takes her to the mansion and keeps her as a pet to torture. 

I’m going to get into all the nitty-gritty to satisfy your morbid curiosities so you don’t read it. 

What’s wrong with it?

-Chapter 1 opens with (Y/n)’s miserable life. Her mom hates her so much she has a fucking torture table for (Y/n).

-There’s an attempted rape in chapter 2.

- She’s taken to the mansion by Tim in chapter 3 because he’s “off his medication” and “acting nicer than normal”. Hi, mentally ill person here, that’s not how it fucking works you ding dong. 

-Mental illness is made out to we wholly evil.

-Also tic’s are made out to be scary. As a person with tics, don’t write tics as scary or super weird. Thanks.

-(Y/n) not being able to escape, fight back rapists, and other horrible shit is labeled as weak.

-At one point (Y/n) is dragged through the mansion, beer bottles and used condoms are thrown at her. Girl has to shower off cum.

-(Y/n) is tortured in various ways. Mostly beaten, berated, burned, cut, starved, etc. 

-She is drugged and repeatedly raped by Brian and Toby. These rapes are recorded and shown to (Y/n).

-Brian has black hair. Why?

-Toby and Brian give (Y/n) a forced abortion.  

-(Y/n) gets raped almost every fucking chapter.

-At one point Jack orally rapes (Y/n) to abort a baby. 

-Toby and Brian are necrophiles. They skull fuck a corpse at some point. It is graphically described how they like to have sex with dead bodies.

-Slenderman forcefully impregnates (Y/n) to “keep the (Tim’s) baby safe” whatever the fuck that means.

Why does this happen?

Because Tim wants a kid because his dad raped his mom and his mom was a prostitute. He’s soooo sad guys :(((

Feeling hungry? Here’s some things that are eaten by various characters.

-Hair 

-Cum (forced)

-Toby 

-Piss 

-A miscarried baby 

What’s good about it?

Nothing. Fucking nothing. Don’t read it.

Conclusion

If you like this fic you need therapy, I’m not joking. It’s like a car crash and Rob Zombie movie horribly mish-mashed together. It sucks. The comments praise literal abuse and berate (Y/n) for being afraid. Fuck this fic and everything it stands for. It’s shock horror and torture for the sake of it. It makes no fucking sense and it’s harmful. People think this is okay. It’s not. 

-

Thank you to my pals in the server for helping out and finishing some of these where I could not. Especially you Connie, everyone say thank you Connie she got through Pure Forgiveness. Absolute trooper legend. Again, don’t go out of your way to harass these people. I made this list so you can avoid these works because they have the potential to be upsetting. I’m not the police, I can’t force anyone to stop nor do I want to. Author’s are allowed to explore dark topics but some should be done respectfully or not at-fucking-all. I hope these people grow as writers and understand treating some things a certain way isn’t cool. You can enjoy dark fics, I do too, fuck I write them too, but Jesus God, some things are a no from me chief.