#theres a few things i can tell are just stupid but i can not change bc

[sereniv]

Not a terf genuinely asking

Anon ask: if trans women aren't male what are they transitioning from

EDIT: Buckle up this is long. but i hope i was able to answer the question?

Ill reply about trans women but this obviously applies to other trans people too (myself included)

It can be complicated when it comes to sex and gender and what science says and what different societies believe.

Because science says "We have common combinations (what western society says is biological male/female) but there are also less common yet still significant combinations (intersex people/and others) that happen that boils down to male and female being a social construction rather than a biological truth"

And our society says "I lack the education and experience of those who fit outside what i believe is male and female, therefor i have a hard time being open to said education and experience. This is mainly because of colonization, white supremacy, and corruption (bigotry) in science.

So gender, how one presents ones self, gender roles, sex- the way we categorize these things are limiting, because it is a fact that not everyone fits in those boxes

Not to mention the more accepted trans, intersex, and other people who fit outside societies idea of male and female, the more we will see that its not small minority of people. They are not anomalies.

So what is a male? Society says its someone with XY chromosomes exclusively. Society also likes to say that someone born with a penis is male, someone with higher testosterone.

Science says, that there are people with different types of chromosomes makeup like xxy or xy females. People who have a penis but also a uterus. Someone with testicles and a vagina. Whos chromosomes can vary

And we still put them in boxes, and for intersex people that can mean invasive sex changing procedures without their consent.

No one is looking into what chromosomes people have, they just look at a childs genitals and decide by the vagina or length of penis/clitoris

So societies idea of male is limited and even new. Sciences idea is naturally complex, but there can still be bias within the community (as there is racism, sexism, etc)

So a trans women born with a penis and xy chromosomes. Society says shes male, science might put her in the category of male.

So to many, and maybe even to herself, a trans woman can transition from male. A sterotypical common combination of what one considers Male.

But what I like to think of in general, is that we should be born as people. A baby. A baby with a penis, a baby with xy chromosomes But what about male is so important?

Because when we say that one is attracted to men, usually what comes to mind is someone with a penis. But what if a man was born with a deformity, and has no penis? Or had to have it removed due to some disease.

Is he now not a man? Because some people (terfs) would move back to chromosomes, yet you dont know for sure what someones chromosomes are when you date

so what really makes a man?

Is it the roles one has? or the socialization? That changes from place to place from era to era.

So it comes down to, a human person with traits that typically are boxed together and labled Male.

We are born babies. and we should be taught the same values regardless of our genitals, and we should be allowed to wear whatever color or clothing style we want.

It all comes down to the difference between Male and Female can be vast and it can be the same and it depends on who you ask

So a trans women might feel that she used to me a man. That she was born a boy, and felt like a boy, up until she didnt. Realizing that the way she saw herself was different than how society sees her. And thus begins her transition from her definition and reality as Male, to her definition, and reality as a Woman.

On the other hand, maybe you have a trans women who was born a girl, but no one else saw it that way. And so by her definition and reality as a girl, transitions to what fits. Aka: She changes her name or goes on hormones or gets surgery or changes clothes or even just changes pronouns. Until she feels that it reflects how she percieves herself

Because at the end of the day, cis women can be hairy, they can be butch, they can have muscles and angles, some have no uterus some have no reproductive organs at all, etc.

But because people want to define womenhood by trauma experience, it warps into white christian view of what a woman is, which ends up targeting poc and intersex people.

What should define womanhood is euphoria. The fight for being a woman. Not trauma, but togetherness. And acknowledging that what society says is a woman is not a fact. Not by science, but more importantly not by reality

So yeah, sometimes trans women do transition from men. And sometimes they simply transition into what they need to be percieved as to thrive emotionally and mentally

Also something i forgot is socialization and the patriarchy. Terfs like to claim that trans women grow up male, but fail to understand that if applied to other scenarios it falls apart and just really isnt an argument

For example. Someone who grows up with heterosexuality everywhere, isnt socialized as straight, they are socialized with homophobia.

Even someone who might grow up a boy and identifies their past self as male, should not have to define the person they are today

Theres a lot of things we grow up with in this society, bigotry being one of them. This doesnt mean you grow up a bigot, but you grow up with it like on tv. All it takes is realization of predjudices or ignorance, to change how you view and interact with things

so a trans woman who identifies her born self as male, and so was technically socialized as male, doesnt mean that that is an inherent truth to her person. Because once she realizes that "Hey, actually I think im a girl" her mind has already started experiencing the constriction that is transphobia and transmisogyny. She notices bias that include her now.

Just because you are socialized one way doesnt mean it sticks, but it also doesnt define you, or doesnt have to be. Also socialization is complicated and has a lot of factors in it like how someone was brought up. did society socialize them or the parents or both etc etc.

Gender Euphoria will always top connecting gender through trauma. Because not every gendered trauma is the same.

Black women historically and now have had a very different experience than white women when it comes to misogyny, sexism, or even being seen as human let a lone a "proper" woman.

And historically, when white women were trying to gain rights they left out black women. so their womanhood is not the same pain and trauma and experience.

Thats why misogynoir as a term exists. Because the trauma that they face is different from the trauma that other poc face or white people. And that is just like the tip of the iceberg.

So instead, i think womanhood should be based in positive connection. That doesnt mean womanhood is always positive. but it means that the relation to each other is based off of euphoric sense of gender. If it feels like home, then your a woman.

Womanhood should be fighting for women, whoever may fit under that. Not truama as a whole (since everyones is different), but collective pride. It should be hearing being refered to as a woman and feeling joy and connection.

And what makes that different from any gender? you can just say anything and now youre it?

Thats whats so great about it. Its widening the spectrum of identity, yet still keeping connections under common frameworks.

Example: a cis woman, being happy and comfortable, resonates with other women in all forms, and is proud of who she is. Then shes looking around and she sees the cis men, and that community is nice but woman still feels at home.

then she sees the trans men. same thing, shes not a man shes a woman. Then she sees the nonbinaries, and that kind of calls to her

And suddenly, she has one foot in the woman community and one in the nonbinary. She now has a new community that she feels euphoria with and fights with but she is still a woman. She is both. Seperately and as one. And really only something she can experience, but she sees other women in front of her, experincing the same thing except in their own unique way.

And shes allowed this because she has oppened herself up to defining her version of womanhood without changing others, and if she had closed herself off and defined womanhood by her genitals or what she looked like or even the pain of descrimination, there would be people excludes from her idea of what the community should consist of, and then she would never feel that euphoria

and to only fight for one portion of womanhood. because once youve got equal marriage, gotten rid of sexism, then there are still racism left. theres still intersex people. you leave other women out of the fight because all of them isnt welcome in your definition.

if that makes sense

I am WAY off track lol I am very adhd and autistic. even reading this back its barely coherent so sorry. someone translate for me lol

but yeah, trans women transition from their former selves, to their current selves. And i dont think theres any point to looking any further than that

A trans woman is a woman, because that is how she percieves herself. Holds herself. How she connects with other women. Her experience of womanhood is inherent, because she is a woman.

[simping-ella]

Please I beg you malikai or spider x readers hcs PLEASE 🙏🏼🙏🏼✨

You know what, I'll do both cause I love my Aussie boys

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Spider Dating Hcs

-Spiders very protective, he is always watching you.

-We all know everyone calls him spider, you are the only person that's able to call him by his name without him getting pissed off.

-This boy is touch starved, when you two are alone he is very clingy.

-He loves sleeping on your chest and thighs, especially when you play with his hair.

-Expect kisses to the temple because that's one of his favourite places to kiss you.

-Spider tries his hardest to change his attitude at school for you. (Everyone is shocked by how he acts once you two get together)

-Spider only has his mum and she's works alot, so most of the time you can stay the night (more like your not allowed to leave)

-He loves wrapping his arms around your waist and rests his head on your shoulder while your talking to someone.

-Playful basketball games between eachother (you always win)

-Stay in movie nights are a MUST

-Spiders had trouble expressing his emotions to people, he is very bottled up and after a while of dating he finally cries in front of you.

-You and Ant being very close friends

-During SLTS you sit with Darren and quinni most of the time, spider hands you little notes that say stupid shit on them, he just wants to make you laugh.

-He loves playing with your hair, when your hugging he twirls your hair.

-He is NOT a morning person, you can expect to be trapped in his bed for at least a few more minutes. (Hours)

-In your phone you have spiders contact saved as 'daddy long legs', he finds it so stupid. (He's very tall that's why)

-Piggybacks all the time, you going to your next class? Piggyback, Your walking home? Piggyback.

-He let's you (wants you) to wear his clothes, he loves how you look in them and it lets people know your his and only his.

-Theres alot of drama at the school and he tries to keep you far away from it. Because he loves you and doesn't want you to get hurt.

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Malaki Dating Hcs

-Malaki is super shy at first, after a while he starts being his silly flirty self.

-He is a big romantic, flowers to love letters that are poorly written.

-Malaki is almost always holding your hand and gets upset when he has to let go.

-You are very close friends with Missy, she was the one to tell Malaki to just go for it.

-Getting to watch him work out and play basketball (yes...please).

-He gives you his basketball jersey to wear sometimes.

-Whispering sweet nothings into your ear when he gets the chance.

-Malaki is amazing when it comes to comfort: rubbing your back gently, rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb, kissing your hands.

-Watching movies all the time, bonus point if it's a horror movie as he isn't the best when it comes to horror.

-Poor little baby gets overwhelmed easily, please please look after him.

-Getting to learn how to play basketball (ending with you guys play fighting).

-Him sending you tiktoks like 'send this to your crush' and others like that.

-Malaki has trouble sleeping, watches you while you sleep peacefully as it helps him fall back asleep.

-He gets nightmares about things that have happened in the past, all he needs is to be the little spoon when the happens.

-He has a habit of licking his lips while talking to you. (You tease him about it all the time, making him flustered)

-After the police incident you were the one who took him home and comforted him (the threesome thing not happening)

-If we include the threesome thing: you go off on Dusty and Harper for taking advantage of your poor Malakai.

-You guys make bracelets for eachother on a date, he will never take it off.

-You help him with his mental health and let him vent to you. He's been through alot.

-He loves you so much!

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Thanks for the request, please don't be shy to send more and I'll do them as quick as I can, thank you babes.

[sillyyuserr]

Another mini terukane analysis :P

so we’ve all seen the picture of teru’s hand on akane’s head right? Seen it, loved it, yadayada

but if you actually look into it, this is so cute.

i mean for one, thats his sword hand. From previous panels we’ve seen him use his right hand on his sword. While he is pictured with it in his left, when he actually fights, its in his right (old vs recent)

“what about that being his sword hand” well, if you couldnt tell, theres a literal demon right infront of them, so he must be on high guard right? nope its in his left LMAO

His better/dominant/more skilled hand is in the most gentlest way, comforting akane, rather than fighting the little shit off. Almost saying, he’s more important right now, akane’s comfort is more important than his own safety, reserving his better hand for him, rather than the stupid demon thing

then after he hits it, it shatters to glass, fading away. His face changes to that of a worried expression, and quickly turns around, takes akane by the little of his shirt he has left, and starts dragging him

Clearly doesn’t give him any time to react, seemingly extremely worried ab something. but as the chapter progresses, we see supernaturals fading away such as hanako, and mitsuba. The bells signaling the start of the severance

We can obviously put two and two together and realize teru thought akane was gonna fade away 😭 MANS WAS SO WORRIED

He was happy to leave aoi, defenseless, alone, in a realm he cannot reach, surrounded by countless evil entities, with very little time to save her, while she was clearly extremely unstable, with his only way of knowing if she dissipated or not being a little bell bracelet that he doesn’t even wear

yet he immediately turned around, full on dragged him/gave him ZERO time to get up, rushed him to the clock keepers asap without even time for akane to react or anything. Like gosh dude can you be more obvious.

him being that worried about akane is so interesting to me, because like, why? Shouldnt he hate him for liking his so called “crush” (aoi). Since he’s planning on going back and saving aoi why cant he just get akane when he’s going back for aoi? Why go through the effort? Lets think of a few reasons why

Reason 1. Calling back to when he stopped them from kissing, he mightve realized if he’s alone with her there, they’d sit on the train and bam they’re dead, gone forever.

Reason 2. Maybe he at one point, had the idea of overall just leaving her there. Giving her the bell bracelet as a false sense of hope so he doesn’t seem like a bad person. And if akane’s sent there, he has to get him, and of course they’ll be together there so he’ll have to get aoi aswell. Why he might want to leave aoi? No clue but its an idea that came to mind so i put it down

Reason 3. Maybe he cant do it alone. He’s always been the “i fight alone” type, but when akane’s there he’s never fighting alone. So maybe he doubts his ability to save her by himself, and wants akane by his side throughout the whole thing

Reason 4. Maybe he just cares about him and/or maybe might like him a little more than he should

i wanna write one ab what happened with teru + akane JUST before the severance SO BAD THERES LITERALLY SM I HAVE TO SAY but i lost all motivation and there being too much is both good and bad 😭 (bad as in im too lazy to do it)

[romanarose]

Hi Roman! Loooove your HCs re: the TF boys. Could I pls ask you what you think would be the biggest sources of contention when it comes to each guy and their SO & how they handle relationship conflict?

Hello, wonderful human! Sorry it took so long for me to respond. Been cranking out fics to catch up and prepare for everything lol!!!

Happy to answer you! I'll be focusing mostly on the guys issues, not so much readers, but we all bring out own things into relationships.

Warnings: Addiction, ptsd, general relationship issues

I think everything should be gender neutral, correct me if i missed something.

More HC's here

Santiago

Commitment.

My dude can't commit to a thing.

I imagine after the movie events he went to see yvonna.... and then left after a few months bc he's a mess.

First arguement you get into he;s like "fine! I'll just leave then, clearly this isn't working"

And you give your best ????? face.

Santi you dumbass.

But you don't give up that easily! You're a menace to society.

You make him face down the issue, talk to you, and *gasp* share how he feels!

When its resolve, you tell him he can't just threaten to leave when he gets frustrated. If he wants to leave he needs to be honest, but he can't hide away under one small issue.

You ask if he really wants to leave. He says no so fucking fast.

He admits he hasn't had any stability in his life like... ever. Immigrant family, military, then his less-than-legal missions... but he wants to make it work with you

You have to work to find a balance between not letting him run away but not forcing him to stay.

But it works. Santi finds you easier and easier to talk to about things and soon enough, he's been with you for a year and theres still no itch to leave.

Ben

Benny Miller is a goof ball.

That's why you fell in love with him in the first place!

But he's not the most mature. He struggles to be serious, even when he wants to. That's the issue. You don't want to dampen his shine, you love him how he is

Thing is, you've been together 6 months and you still feel like you're casually dating.

There was no big "I love you".

He simple kissed your cheek saying goodbye, said "love you!" and dashed off to his friends.

But you did love him, you loved him so much but you weren't sure he was invested as you were. Maybe he wasn't ready for a serious relationship or you were more of a casual date to him...

Benny notices your mood change pretty quickly. He may be dumb but he's not stupid

(This is a joke Benny is canonically a highly skilled and talented individual I love him so much.)

"What am I to you?"

You ask him and it starts a whole discussion. You're surprised to find he's listening intently to what you have to say, takes in your words well.

You express how it hurts that every time he says "love you" It's the same tone of voice he uses with his friends or brother. He makes you feel like you're "one of the guys" but you're having sex.

Benny pauses and gathers his words before expressing that he does love you, very deeply. He thinks about marrying you... he just struggles to express it verbally. After some talking, you introduce him to the idea of love languages.

You figure out Benny loves receiving with words of affirmation and thats what he gets stuck on. He can't express well through words, so he thinks he's fucked.

You take the time to talk about the other four, and ways he can express through those.

After this talk, you feel much better and Ben makes you feel so, so loved and special.

(He also makes sure to say his "I love you" during sex or more initmate moments, not just in passing, letting you know that he really, really does.)

Will

Fear.

You probably expected PTSD, didn't you?

Well thats a part of it. His PTSD does affect his life but I think he's scared to lose you and scared to hurt you.

Will keeps you at arms length. Maybe you're a friend of Ben's and are around a lot and clear chemistry!! But nothing is happening

Finally you confront him. Bestie you can't keep lingering touch on my arm if you're not gonna fuck me about it.

Will is def the most straight forward and self aware so he's gonna be honest.

"I choked a man out in a grocery store for not moving his cart fast enough and almost killed him, my fiance left me after that, I've got 33 confirmed kills and also I watched one of my best friends die and carried his dead body over the fucking Andes, man."

A lot to unpack there!!!!

He tells you he's afraid he's going to lose you if he lets you get too close. He's afraid of hurting you.

You tell him he's sweet but he should also go to therapy.

You go with him to the first appointment.

Will I think is the easiest bc I just think hes the most mature and open

Frankie

Addiction

My dude hates himself.

And literally any feeling he's like "well time to do some coke about it."

It wasn't a big deal when you just started dating. You knew he did coke sometimes on weekends and rationalized that it can't be that big a deal, it's like drinking, right?

(Im 26 now and realizing how many people casually do coke is wild to me. None of my business tho.)

But soon you realize just how bad it's gotten. He's high almost all the time. Then his liscense comes under review. Then the trip to south america...

You don't think he's ever even sober, and you're worried about him, worried his heart is going to give out. Sometimes you stay awake watching him breath just to be sure.

Finally you can't take it anymore. You never wanted to to be the ultimatum party but you can't do this, you're suffering and so is he. He either gets sober or you leave. You didn't care how long it took, you didn't care if he relapsed but he needed to start trying.

Frankie ops to go to rehab. It's best, because he's gonna need to detox first.

You visit often, almost every day, making sure his friends all knew when visit times were and sometimes going as group, sometimes separate but always making sure someone came by every single day so he knew he wasn't alone.

90 days later, Frankie comes out a new man. He's cheeks fuller and pants tighter but his smile bigger.

He's gonna be okay and so are you.

Tom

He's dead

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!!!! I love tf boys head cannons <3

[zialltops]

honeysuckle’s & huckleberry’s

Cowboy!Joel (41) X F!Reader (25) | 15.5k | wip | explicit | 18+ minors dni | enemies to lovers | slow burn | au: no cordyceps outbreak

After four years away at collage, you’re finally home with the tools and knowledge to save your family ranch. That is, if their ranch hand would stay out of your way.

Or: Ranch hand Joel doesn’t know how to handle the return of his bosses prodigy daughter, her snarky little attitude, or her sinfully tight jeans.

a/n: this chapter gets me right in the feels every time. I love watching the way Joels character changes and his train of thought shifts. I hope you guys like this chapter because it was so fun for me to write 🥹❄️

Masterlink

Chapter 3: Blue

As it turns out, extreme levels of dopamine in his brain after a bone chilling orgasm is exactly what Joel needs to level himself out while you’re sitting beside him in the passenger seat. It doesn’t make him stop thinking about it, but it does keep the tiny little gremlin in his head that tells him to pop a stiffy at bay. The only thing he has to worry about is his eyes, keeping them off of you and on the icy driveway as he pulls away from the house. The snow has started to melt, leaving behind a sloppy mud that makes the truck slip and slide. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to get your car out, even if I can I don’t think you’ll be able to drive it in this.”

You make an exaggerated groan and he doesn’t even need to look to know you’re rolling your eyes at him from your spot beside him on the bench seat. “You just love deciding what I can and can’t do, don’t you? You know I lived here my whole life right?” He dares a glance over and you’re staring at him with your eyebrows knitted together and your arms crossed. His eyes tick down and he wants to kick himself in the head for even looking because your shirt is leaving nothing to his imagination and little to wonder about how good they would look bare with his dick between—jesus christ, Joel, get yourself together Man. “I wasn’t doubting your ability, I’m suggesting that it would be dangerous for you to even try.”

The truck hits the pavement and most of the snow has melted, but the freezing temperatures leave a icy film across the top. He had to go easy on the breaks and hope to god the truck makes it up the inclines he has to take to get to your car. The last thing he needs is to be stuck out here in the cold with just your bodies to keep each other warm. He absolutely one hundred and ten percent wont survive that, not without absolutely humiliating himself. God, he fucking hates how much you affect him against his will.

“Since when do you care about what’s too dangerous for me, huh?” Why in the hell is he arguing with you like you’ve been married for twenty years? “You left me in the snow to freeze to death in my car four days ago, why am I going to listen to you about whats too dangerous for me?” You have a point, but so does he so he just shuts his fucking mouth and keeps on driving.

It takes twice as much time to get down the pass than it usually does, but the lower Joel gets, the more the ice melts into cold water and mud. By the time he gets to your car, the road is clear but the car is still sunk down to the rims in the embankment. Theres a uneasy sort of silence in the truck, something lingering around the cab of the old blue pickup that feels like shame and embarrassment.

“Texting, huh?” He breaks the silence with a crude joke that earns him a deep glare. “Fuck you, asshole. You know, I really don’t know what it is that my parents see in you. My mom always said how polite you were but I don’t believe that for a second after knowing you for a few days.” You prop open the door and climb out into the snow with your car keys in one hand and the other holding your unzipped jacket closed. Your stupid fucking shoes and that tight ass—fuck.

How is he supposed to be okay with the way you make his body react when you literally curse the ground he walks on, thinking he’s the worst thing that ever happened to this damn town? He gets out after you and slips on his gloves to keep the cold off his hands. The winter always leaves him cracked and brittle from cold work, sometimes his knuckles bleed and his bones ache for gentle hands instead of hard callouses and a cowboys scars. “You don’t know anything about me.” He reaches into the back for a chain while you open the door to your car. “I know enough. I know you’re bullheaded and selfish. I know you’re rude and you don’t care about anyone but yourself.”

Fucking bitch, like he’s not allowed to have some self preservation after the life he’s lived, always cleaning up Tommy's mess and abandoning his own life in the process. “Don’t act like you’re any better.” You lean out of your car and make a face at him while he hooks the chain to the front of the truck. “Me? You don’t know a damn thing about me.” Like you didn’t just spout off about all the things you think is wrong with him—he can do that too. He has a fucking list of reasons you piss him off. “I know that you’re entitled and expect people to be at your beck and call. I know you’re privileged with no regard for anyone around you.”

He follows the chain to your car and hooks it to the chassis underneath. “Well were just a match made in fucking heaven then, aren’t we?” Its dripping with distain and bitterness, so Joel ignores the comment no matter how much his brain runs and runs about all the way he could be made for you, the way’s he’d fuck that attitude right out of you until you’re quiet. But he can’t and he won’t, he’ll probably spend the rest of his life wondering what you’d feel like, the way you’d shake and scream and beg for more—but wondering is far as that fantasy will ever go.

Because at the end of the day, you’re still Hank's daughter and you’re still half his age and—you hate his guts, which is definitely a deal breaker when it comes to getting someone in your bed. So he keeps his mouth shut and heads back to his truck to tug your car out. “When you’re out, hit your brakes so you don't slam into me.” You sink down into your seat and glare at him. “I’m not stupid!” He never said you were, but he doesn’t expect you to know everything, so he does his best to be the helpful asshole he usually is.

He pulls the little car out, manages to keep the chain tight until it's back on the road and the brake lights come on in front of him. He puts the truck in park and hops out to unhook the chain, but you don’t open the door. When the car is unhooked, you’re already pulling away without a word of thanks. Joel knows he’s well past earning the way you treat him, but that doesn’t make him stop wishing he could just get you out of his head already, wish he could hate you with that same mind altering disgust that you have for him, maybe watching you drive away would be easier.

Two months pass much like the first week. Joel keeps to himself, you frown at him and avoid him where you can. When you do see one another, Joel feels like you’re always at each other's throats. Everyone in the house has started to notice the distaste in your strained relationship, if Joel is willing to let himself call it that. It’s more like a forced acquaintance. Either way, your parents even see the way the two of you bicker and fight, but rarely does anyone but Tommy make comments about it. Tommy likes to bring it up any chance he gets, usually when Joel is alone just to rile him up further. He says stupid shit, like “I bet the sex you guys would have would be crazy good” when it’s just him and his brother at the dinner table and it makes Joel stiffen and run off to the cabin without his plate or a goodbye.

He sneaks in later for his plate and catches you in the kitchen with red eyes and tear stained cheeks, but you cross your arms over your chest and try not to meet his eyes. You’re dressed in just a big tee shirt and he can see from your bare feet to the tops of your thighs. He’s the luckiest son of s bitch in the world that he just worked himself over twice because he would be tenting his sweatpants right there in the kitchen.

That was three days ago and he still can’t get the sight of tears in your eyes out of his mind. He wonders if he did that, if he’d said something that struck a nerve and there you sat at the kitchen table after everyone was tucked in bed, crying your pretty eyes out. He feels like the worst fucking person in the world because of it, so he stays away even more, makes himself sad little ramen noodle dinners in his sad little hunting cabin he shares with his brother and he stares at his ceiling wishing it was you he was looking up at—smiling instead of frowning for once—all he wants is to see you smile. Really smile, for him, at him. He wonders what your eyes look up when they light up, wonders what your skin feels like when its not shaking in rage.

But between all the avoiding and hiding, Joel didn’t even realize how quickly Christmas had snuck up on him. He checks his phone sometime after lunch, his day spent getting the herd ready for another brutal snow storm. He’d been to town that morning for hot feed to keep them warm and any supplies they might run out of while snowed in, while deep, dark clouds hung in the distance. He was leaving the feed store when the clerk waved at him with a polite “Merry Christmas!” When he made it into the truck, he pulled out his phone and realized the date, December 24th. It was Christmas eve and it was an absolute miracle that stores were open right now. It was only eleven thirty and the sign posted on the door says it closes at two.

He starts to put the truck in reverse, turning around to look behind him while he pulls out. When he does, something inside of him doesn’t let his foot off the brakes. He thinks about you—in Christmas pajamas on the floor opening dumb little gifts from your parents because it's the first Christmas they’ve had with you for years. He imagines what they’d get you, probably things a grown adult needs—products, socks, underwear, (don’t even go there Joel) and he thinks about how disheartening that must be to a woman like you, used to proper city living now, expensive gifts and pretty things. You deserve pretty things, Joel wants to give them to you.

He turns around, throws the truck in park and jumps out, heading back into the feed store. He makes a bee-line for the glass jewelry case sitting in the corner, partially scavenged through since it is the day before christmas and all—he should have thought about this weeks ago. He scans through everything, shiny horse shoe earrings, matching pendants, jeweled cowgirl boots on a chain and turquoise ring sets. None of them look good enough, none of them scream you, sweet you—fuck, he’s seen it, when you’re so damn sweet, when you think no one is looking—Joel is, always looking.

He kneels down, scanning the bottom shelf of the case when he spots a simple golden chain and a bumble bee dangling delicately from its tiny hoops. It doesn’t have any stones on it and Joel thinks he likes that more, that it’s simple and graceful, not too flashy or obviously shoutings “look at what you do to me, look at how much I wish I could have you.”

In the end, he has just enough bills in his wallet for the necklace, tells the clerk he doesn’t need a bag as he stuffs the box in his pocket and heads back to the truck.

He has a busy day when he gets back to ranch, Tommy is checking on the pregnant heifers while Joel fill’s multiple feeders with hot grains that will keep them warm through the impending storm. He has just enough time before it starts to snow to get the horse fed and the equipment properly covered in tarps. This storm is set to drop more snow than they have seen all winter and Joel doesn’t look forward to the animosity that comes with never being able to get out of each other's hair. “How’s the heifers?” He asks Tommy when he brushes grain off his hands. “They all seem pretty far out besides one, she was really soft, sort of worried me.” Heifers get soft around the tail when they are close to caving, but Joel doesn’t think she’ll be willing to have her calf in this storm, so he lets it go. Instead, he takes a spot beside Tommy at the stable door.

“Snow’s comin’ down thick now,” Tommy says from the protective covering of the stable, staring out across the yard at the powder covered ground. Snow blows through the big sliding door, filling the building with cold gusts. “We should get inside before it gets worse.”

Joel wants to—when he looks off at the two story house, the christmas tree shining through the window, he spots you on the other side of it, fixing and ornament hanging from the nettles. The stable is a stone's throw from the house, Joel can see every feature, the color of your eyes, your sweet, sweet smile—because he’s nowhere to be seen.

He’s so busy staring, he doesn’t catch it in time when your eyes meet his across the yard. That sweet smile falls, those soft eyes harden and he feels his gut lurch. “You go ahead, Tommy. Think I’m going to hit the hay.” Tommy knows this bit just about as well as Joel does, knows he’s been avoiding the house, your parents, you because nine times out of ten, it’s just Tommy at dinner these days. Joel spends his night with microwaved meals and old episodes of The Rifleman to keep him busy until he finally gives in and slips his hands in his pants.

Tommy doesn’t put up a fuss, instead, he claps Joel on the shoulder and gives him this sad sort of smile before heading off towards the house. Joel turns in the other direction, follows the fence line for a half mile until he reaches the cabin. His feet are cold, his lips feel cracked after a long day outside in the harsh weather. He microwaves a sad little dinner, pretends the mac and cheese on the side is half as good as warm food at the table when the people he looks at like family. He’s simply not welcome there anymore.

He gets through two episodes before he promptly passes out, his pants left intact tonight because it’s not his dick leading the way tonight, its that look in your eyes when you saw him across the driveway. The pang he felt in his chest when you frowned and turned away like it hurt you to look at him.

He sleeps through the night, propped up like that on the couch and when he wakes on Christmas morning, his neck has a crick in it and his back is killing him. He barely drags himself off the couch and into the shower before his day has to start. The hot water eases out some of his muscles, but it still hurts like a bitch to stand up straight or turn his head.

But the cattle aren’t going to let him take a day off, the horses won't care for themselves, so he gets to it only a few minutes late. When he heads out the door, the ground is covered in two feet of pure white snow and dark clouds still hang overhead.

His Christmas is spent in the field’s and the stables and the box in his pocket burns a hole through his thigh the entire morning, until he’s shoveling off the driveway and the front door comes open. Louise makes her way onto the porch with a plate in her hands, shuffling down the slippery steps when she gets Joel’s attention. He tosses down the shovel and hurries over when she starts to wobble on the second step and nearly slips. He catches her arm and helps her steady before letting out a cold gust of air that fogs through the chill around him. “Miss Lou, what are you doin’ out here? It’s freezing.” She has a light coat on and her cheeks are red from the cold.

“You’re the one out here in the cold, Joel. It’s Christmas and you’re the only one working. Have you had a decent meal this week? I haven’t seen you at dinner in…well, I don’t know how long.” She’s the one reason Joel feels guilty for avoiding the house, in the years he’s lived here, she's always enjoyed cooking for them, she’d always tell him he couldn’t keep her dream alive if he was malnourished. He feels like that now, running on half the calories a man his size should be taking in and his mind is in a constant state of despair these days.

“Just needed some space is all, Ma’am, nothin’ you did.” He assures her, taking the plate carefully and helping her back up the steps. “I know it's not just that. My daughter can be really difficult sometimes…I know you two bicker. It’s a shame, really—I thought the two of you would hit it off.” That's the whole problem and what a shame it is that Joel can’t look at this woman’s daughter without thinking about all the ways he could have her, make her his. “Would you come inside? Hank and I got you something, he thought you would be in this morning but you never came. I'm sorry if your food is cold.”

He didn’t care if it was cold, his stomach hurt because he was so hungry, he'd eat it if it was frozen. He doesn’t have the heart to tell her no, so he heads inside the house with snow covered boots and a nervousness he hasn’t felt here since the first day he stood in this living room. For so long it's felt like his home too—but now he can't help but feel like an intruder.

When he closes the door behind him, Hank and Tommy are watching the game, but you’re nowhere in sight. He tries to shake off his nerves, moves to the couch beside Tommy and sits down. At his brother's feet is a brand new pair of deer skin gloves, Tommy’s favorite—but hard to come by. He knows they weren’t cheap and his heart aches a little, knowing they’d worked hard to pull together the money.

“Glad to see you can pull yourself away for a few minutes. You know it ain’t goin’ anywhere, stay for a little while.” He knows that—the storm will be with them for four days and he knows there will be more snow to shovel tomorrow, but he can’t stay for long, not when your prying eyes finally detect him in your safe haven. “I’ll stay for a little while, still a lot to do out there.” He knows Hank is too old for that kind of work, Tommy’s too lazy and Joel wants nothing more than to escape. “Got you somethin’, been saving up for it for a while now.” He leans down towards the tree and picks up a rather large box—it’s not gloves thats for damn sure. “Sir, I…I didn’t get you nothin’.” He didn’t have the money, he spent every dollar he had to his name on a stupid necklace for his daughter that would rather see him outside in the freezing weather shoveling snow than on her couch in front of the fireplace.

Hank throws a hand, playing off Joel's concern with an amused huff. “You do so much for us around here without asking for anything in return. You had one when you got here but i know it got tore up taking the cattle to pasture.”

Joel rips the wrapping paper, revealing a simple white box with the word Stetson on the top. Joel doesn’t even want to open the damn thing, he knows what's inside and how much it cost, an arm and a leg, probably a month's saving in the off season. “Hank…”

The olde man shakes his head firmly. “You deserve to have the sun off your neck, son. Just say thank you, make sure it fits.”

He pulls open the box and inside lays a black felt hat with a matching band, beautiful leather work that loops into an ornate metal buckle to hold it in place. He pulls the cowboy hat from its box, puts it on his head and—it’s a perfect fit.

It's been a long time since he had a hat, a lot longer since he had a nice one and a lifetime ago since he had the money for a new one, especially one this nice. “I don’t know what to say—thank you, Hank…this really…means more than you know.” More than he knows how to convey with words. It’s been a long time since Joel had a hat that fit, one that wasn’t second hand or made for someone else’s head. But this—this was made for his head, the measurement must be damn near perfect. “How’d you know my size?” He wobbles his head around and the hat doesn’t budge, hangs on snuggly. He’ll even be able to ride with this on. “I measured your head while you were sleepin’.” Tommy tells him with a smug grin. “That's weird, Tommy. I would have kept that to myself.”

It draws a laugh out of Hank who has abandoned the game in favor of watching Joel's excitement. “Well, what are you waiting for—go check yourself out in the mirror, make sure you like it,” he stands and walks over to the mirror hanging on the wall above a decorative entryway shelf. When he spots himself in the reflection, he realizes just how long it’s been since he’s seen the man looking back at him. He’s graying in his beard a little, the age lines on his face have gotten deeper and more pronounced, but the black hat on his head makes that same man grin from ear to ear.

The stairs creek behind him and he turns half of his body to look up them. Stopped halfway down the stairs, you’re staring at him with a slightly slacked jaw. Joel knew it, Christmas jammies that leave your legs exposed to his greedy eyes. This time, he tries to keep them to himself. “Oh, uh…” he swallows down the lump in his throat and his pocket burns all over again. Should he give it to you now? Will everyone question him if he does? If he waits to get you alone, does that suggest that the necklace means everything he wants it to? A peace offering, an ice breaker, a “I’m sorry about the way I’ve treated you, but I want to try again.”

Instead, he leaves it in his pocket and tries to tamper down the way his cheeks heat. “Merry Christmas, Honey.” He tilts his hat up a tad so he can look up at you, but your slightly dumbfounded look morphs into irritation and discontent.

“What are you doing here?” You cross your arms and Joel’s good mood disappears. “Your mom asked me to come in and eat. Your dad wanted to give me this.” He points to the hat and your eyes roll as you make the descent down the rest of the stairs. “So if you’re in here, who’s taking care of the ranch?”

It isn’t often that someone sticks up for one of them in an argument, they tend to not get between the two of you, but to Joel’s surprise, Hank interrupts his daughter. “He’s allowed to come in the house, Honey—he works hard around here, he’s not a yard dog.” But that doesn’t stop you from sneering at him when you pass him on your way to the kitchen where your mother is. “Sure looks like one to me.” It’s under your breath so Hank doesn’t hear, but Joel does.

And he feels like a fool. A fool for spending the last of his money on this stupid fucking necklace, like a fool for being so plagued by thoughts of you in a different world, one where you don’t innately hate him, one where he doesn’t fuck up every chance he has to change the narrative.

“I should get back to it, I’ll see you guys…later.” He starts to head for the door when Louise pokes her head around the corner. “Please come in for Dinner!” Joel tells her that he will, he hates lying to miss Lou, but he does it because it’s Christmas and the last thing he wants to do is worry her today.

He wastes the day shoveling off the driveway, tries his best to rub out the crick in his neck and finally calls it a day when the sun is nearly set and the animals are bunkered down for the night. It’s started to snow again, so Joel makes his way back to the cabin with tired limbs and a new dusting of snow hanging onto the brim of his hat.

Dinner is just as lonely as the night before but this time he doesn’t pretend it's Lou’s cooking, he lets it be exactly what it is—a tasteless mush and his misery to sip on.

The Rifleman is just as predictable as it was the night before, as is Joel—who falls asleep before he has the heart to get his hands on his dick. But unlike last night, he doesn’t make it long propped up on the couch before a knock startles him awake. He drags himself to the door with sleep in his eyes and a chill in his bones. When he pulls it open, his pocket ignites again. On the other side of the door, you’re standing in front of him with a plate in your hands and a vicious storm letting down behind you. Did you walk here in that? “My mom said I chased you off, that’s why you didn’t come to dinner.” Well, you aren’t wrong. If you were still away at college, Joel would have no problem spending Christmas with Hank and Louise and Tommy who is apparently too good to walk you down here.

“You didn’t have to bring me anything.” He says. He glances to the side where his hat hangs on the rack. “Actually, my mom made me so no, I didn’t have a choice.” Ahh, of course—of course you wouldn’t do something that nice for him. “Well, thank her for me, then…” he reaches out for the plate and his fingers brush yours—bolts of electricity shooting up his arm and igniting his starved skin. It’s been so damn long since someone has touched him with kind hands and all he wants is yours—your soft, gentle hands he’s seen folding laundry and soothing horses. You don’t release the plate, but your eyes track up to his, meeting them across the threshold.

He could hold that gaze for the rest of his life if you’d let him—he’s always wanted a chance to get lost in your eyes and he’s getting it right now, his home pouring with cold in exchange for the heat in your cheeks and the sparkle in your irises. “Joel—“

There's a loud sound somewhere over the fence beside the cabin. It draws both of your attention to the blinding darkness. Joel knows that sound, a distressed heifer, probably the one who was too damn close to calving in a storm like this. There’s no way Joel can save that calf if it doesn’t make it and even if he wanted to, the snow is too thick to help.

“What is that?” You ask, finally dropping your hand away from his when you glance back up at him. “Heifer, think she’s calving—Tommy said she was really soft and her milk came in. Afraid that calf might not make it tonight.”

There's a look of disbelief in your eyes, shooting from Joel to the fence line and back. “You can’t help her?” Joel shakes his head and listens to the cow cry out again. “Nothin’ I can do for her. They aren’t supposed to be calving yet, we still have a few more weeks and it’s too cold out there. We might lose the heifer too.”

Joel observes the way sadness takes over your face, then determination. “I’m going out there to help her.” You tell him, already heading off the porch before Joel can even interject. “Don’t you hear me? She’s not going to make it, honey, just let it go.” But you don’t, you start to jog towards the fence line, so Joel huffs in annoyance and slips into his boots and jacket, finally pulling his hat on on his way out the door. He grabs a spotlight off the shelf by the door and follows your tracks through the snow to the fence line. It doesn’t take him long until he finds you, knelt behind a laboring cow, who’s already pushing in the freezing cold. “I can’t get this calf to safety and this storm is getting worse—it’s not safe to be out here.”

There's blood marring the white snow and your delicate hands. “I’m not letting her die in the snow on christmas because we made her have a baby, Joel—she didn’t ask for this.” Joel sets the light in the snow beside him and rolls his sleeves up, kneeling down beside you in the soaked snow. “She’s not going to make it.”

You make a face at him, one Joel is more than accustomed to. “I’m not letting her die alone, then.” And Joel isn’t going to leave you alone in the snow for a second time, so he stays there beside you, helping deliver the little black calf, who shivers wetly in the cold. It’s a little boy, floppy ears and a wobble to him when he tries to hold his head up. Joel can't help but smile, because this is always beautiful, even if he can't save this little calf. He looks up and you’re grinning right back at him, your cheeks bitten red by the cold and your hands shaking, but you look so fucking proud right now. Joel is too, after watching you pull that calf out of his momma like you were made for that.

“What if we get them inside, would they make it then?” Joel doesn’t see how, the snow is too thick and someone would have to carry him. “They wont fit in my cabin and the stable is a half a mile away. We’d have to drag momma through this snow.” He has a lead in the cabin, he could get her out of this snow, he thinks. Would she even want to go, after having a calf in the ridged cold. “We should try—we should at least try.”

Joel leans back and brushes the blood off on his pants. “Yeah—fine, we can try. Stay right here, keep rubbing him to keep him warm.” He stands and jogs back to the cabin, racing inside for the lead that he runs back to you with. You have the calf laid out along your legs while you rub his wet skin. “He’s slowing down. I can feel his heart slowing down.” He’s getting too cold out here—if Joel doesn’t act now, he won't make it, so he wraps the halter around the heifers head and hands you the lead. “Think you can pull her? She’s going to put up a fight.” You take the lead from him and nod, grabbing the light out of the snow while he picks the calf up under his belly. He makes a little sound at Joel while he starts to make his way through the deep snow.

It’s a long walk back to the stables, but you tug on that heifer and Joel carries the calf the entire way there, until he reaches the gate and manages to push it open just enough to get them through. He makes it to the stable doors in just enough time, throws it open and helps you inside. It’s not much warmer in here, but theres no snow and theres straw in the empty stable towards the back, so Joel makes his way over and lays the little calf down in the bedding. You’re right behind him with the heifer who takes straight to her baby once she has him in her sight again.

Joel plops down in the straw in the corner of the room once they are both situated, trying to catch his breath and warm himself up at the same time. He’s covered in blood, so are you, but you saved both of their lives and Joel has more respect for that than he knows what to do with. You risked your life out there for a baby cow and his momma.

“You did a good thing, out there. I’m sorry I didn’t want to listen to you.” You find a spot beside him in the hay and sink down, leaned against the wood wall with your shoulder pressed against his with how closely you sit. “You have every right to question me…you’re right, you know…I have no clue what I’m doing around here. Four years of school and the only thing I know how to do around here is the books, which is easy because were so broke.” Joel's heart aches for you, the sadness in your tone and the defeated look in your eyes. “I almost got us killed out there.”

Joel shakes his head and leans himself back against the wall too. “But you didn’t. You saved us a lot of money and saved his little life. I’d say that's a win.” He knows it doesn’t feel like one when everything else is coming down on your shoulders, but he can pretend it is for your sake. “Thanks, Joel.” You lean a little more, bumping his shoulder with a quiet yawn.

His pocket begins to burn again, but this time, it isn’t followed by the shame he’s felt all day. “I uhm…I hope it’s not weird, but I got you something…” he reaches into his pocket and starts to fish it out. “You didn’t have to do that,” you interject but he shakes his head. “I just saw it while I was at the feed store, thought of you.” He pulls out the blue box and holds it out to you. He tries not to read too much into the look on your face when you open the box, but he has to know. It looks like confusion, then shock and finally, sadness. “I was really rude to you this mornin’…and you had this in your pocket to give it to me?” You look over at him with big eyes, full of something Joel has never seen in them. “It’s alright—I deserved that.”

You shake your head and start to pull the necklace out of the box. “I called you a dog, Joel—you didn’t deserve that.”

He shrugs his shoulders, trying to rid both of you of the shame of that conversation. You hold the necklace up and admire it for a while, the little gold bee that’s going to lay against your chest, against your heart. You hold it out to him with a little quick of your lips. “Would you?” He takes it from you and you turn your back to him, using one hand to hold up your hair while he undoes the clasp and brings his hands around your neck, laying it around your delicate throat. It feels so intimate, sitting here in the hay beside a newborn baby calf in the middle of a snowstorm on christmas.

His knuckles brush against your neck gently when he does the clasp together, letting is hang from your neck, feels like a fucking brand on his skin. You turn back around, meet his eyes and smile carefully. There's a comfortable silence filling up the space between you, so Joel leans back against the wood and sighs to himself. “Let me walk you back to the house…it’s getting late.” His words are low and slow.

You nod at him and he stands, holding out a hand to pull you to your feet. He walks you out of the stables, through the blizzard and up to the porch of the big white house. “Where are you going?” You ask him when you get to the door. “Don’t know if I can make it back to the cabin in this. Might sleep out in the stable so I can keep an eye on the little guy.”

You don’t say anything, just stare at him for a long moment, then glance behind you at the warm house. “Come inside…Tommy took the guest bedroom but you can have the couch. It’s better than being out here in the cold.”

He wants to decline, but when will he get this opportunity again? To mend what's been broken between you? “Yeah—sure, that sounds better than straw poking me in the ass all night long.”

It makes you giggle and that makes Joel's stomach churn, his cheeks heat and his hands flex as he follows you inside. You get him a blanket, help him get situated in the low glow of the christmas tree in the corner.

When he kicks his boots off and settles down on the couch, you start to head for the stairs. He thinks you’re going to head up, but you pause at the bottom of the stairs before turning to look at him. “Thank you for helping me today.”

He hums, smiles and shakes his head. “It was my pleasure.”

There's another long silence, then you take the first step up the stairs. “Goodnight, Joel…Merry Christmas.”

He smiles back at you with tired eyes.

“Merry Christmas, Honey.”

[hotchs-big-hands]

https://www.tumblr.com/hotchs-big-hands/729262150170886144

aaron has money he sets aside solely for buying new shirts and suits because of all the dirt and blood stains and after a certain point he just stopped trying to clean them and just started throwing them out and replacing them. so when aaron mentions to you that he got a blood stain from a victim they were saving on one of your favorite shirts of his youre understandably bummed but you tell him youll get him a few shirts when youre running errands in the morning before he gets home.

he comes home and theres this one white tshirt thats a size bigger than the rest and hes like "honey i think you mightve grabbed an xl on accident?" and youre playing dumb like "what do you mean" and he puts the shirt on and its baggy and loose and hes like "look hun this ones too big for me" and you lift the shirt up and wiggle your head through the neck hole with this big stupid grin on your face and you wrap you arms around his waist under the shirt and youre like "idk it seems like a snug fit to me??" and he blushes so hard and buries his face in your hair before lifting you up into his arms and bringing you over to the couch for some cuddles 💜💜

a few minutes pass before he murmurs "youre the cutest thing ive ever seen honey thank you for being you ♥️"

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 THIS IS ADORABLE

Godddd this man will from now on make a habit of getting shirts that are super baggy like this so you can slip inside with him to snuggle 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 it's now his favourite way to cuddle!! And with the season changing he is more inclined to snuggle cuz you gotta stay warm 😭😭😭💖💖💖💖💖💖

[yongislong]

pet names + dreamies.

genre: fluff, established relationships with non!idol dreamies

cw/note: none, enjoy! will be doing wayv and 127 soon :) take care of yourselves. very much not proofread oops

mark... babe, hes a simple man. calls you baby sometimes too but everytime he does a part of him dies inside lol. pegs me as the type of guy to also say kid? or buddy? esp when ur being silly idk. calls you love on special occasions but he loves your name anyway! thinks its funny when you call him stud haha, but also prefers babe or just his name? idk i dont think he cares too much about that but def would call you things imo

renjun... love but also something artistic and celestial! calls you divine during intimate and more sweet moments but opts for love/lover. has you in his phone as the name of a god/goddess bc to him thats what you are. also uses the anotamical heart emoji for your contact instead because he thinks its more meaningful. likes it when you call him charming or prince, something soft but he prefers ren, he likes the way it sounds when you say it

jeno... gorgeous, bunny, a shortened version of your name he came up with! he doesnt seem like he would want to use traditional pet names, he gets kinda bored. always changes them up but always calls you something along the lines of pretty, gorgeous or cute at least a couple times a day. also likes babe in general, his number is saved as casanova and he had to google what it meant and once he figured out what it meant he went "aouh??" that shocked face and sound he always makes. he feels he needs to step up his game now

haechan... anything tbh? super cheesy and annoying but theres times where all he wants is to be lovey dovey. calls you poppet if you're smaller than him because he thinks it sounds silly. he thinks he sounds like a knight when he speaks in medival language, hence why he also calls you princess/prince or any royalty type term. likes to say your pet names in a british accent bc.... idk. LOL anyways!!! he loves you and he takes your phone to change his contact name into something different almost every month, a menace

jaemin... angel 1000%. sometimes he doesn't even have a name for you he just whines and groans until he gets you to do whatever he wants. hes definitley a pretty girl/boy/baby type of guy! tbh i can see him calling you honey even though you tell him its corny, thats one of the reasons why he does it though, he likes to see your reactions muahaha. you call him bunny duh, but his name on all your socials is bunny boy

chenle... babe, baby. super chill boyfriend tbh. likes to call you stupid names as a joke esp when you're angry. calls you daegal's other parent. also likes to call you parental names like mom or dad when you scold him because he knows it makes you more mad than you already are LOL. but overall doesn't seem too keen on pet names, would mostly opt for your name with an ie or y at the end to make it extra cute

jisung... babe, your name, or shorty. even if you're his height or taller he likes to shorty and idk why. he likes babe, its simple and he already gets babied and teased enough so i don't think he would go for anything overly sweet unless it was you two alone. you're in his phone as my #1 with a bunch of ring, marriage and fire emojis. he thinks its peak comedy lol. has called you love on a few intimate occasions but just keeps it to your shortened name and ji for him since you both usually don't have very much alone time

[cerealmonster15]

IM GOING TO TALK ABOUT ALHAITHAM AND KAVEH AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!

i love this fuckin argument kaveh and alhaitham have on the port ormos bulletin board

it's one of those instances where kaveh and alhaitham are arguing and alhaitham is saying that like, while he disagrees with kaveh lol, he also doesnt deny theres truth to what kaveh says.

but i also think it's funny how alhaitham is like "end of conversation. ALSO-" like bitch you kept going IMMEDIATELY fkjsjfklds and then that stupid bit where theyre like "he said this" "he did not fucking say that" "he did" "no he didnt fuck you" "he did give me a month ill prove it!!!!" THEYRE FIGHTING LIKE CHILDREN ON A PUBLIC MESSAGE BOARD😭😭😭

also i have this one bit stuck forever in my mind from kavehs hang out

[video source i screenshot from]

MAYBE im reading into it way too much bc i have terminal haikaveh brain. maybe. BUT!!!! art is subjective i can do what i want :^) anyway i think a lot about this part because TO ME it sounds like kaveh keeps assuming the worst from alhaitham - makes sense, they argue all the time and they def have a turbulent relationship. HOWEVER!!!!! while alhaitham does like poking fun at kaveh and gets annoyed with him dskjfdsklf i FEEL LIKE theres an implication that he like, does not enjoy seeing kaveh suffer the way kaveh just assumes he does.

like here, kaveh is like oh, youre not hoping to see me make a fool of myself are you >:(?? just bc alhaitham was like. in a location unexpectedly. lol. and then alhaithams phrasing is just so specific where he like, doesnt say yes but doesnt say no either lol. hes like "oh so you think i get joy from seeing you in pain day in and day out? well if that were true id be entertained always because youre always in distress"

but like. I DUNNO MAYBE IM BEING STUPID BUT JKSDLFJDKL to ME it felt like he was deflecting the question. to be fair it was a silly question so maybe alhaitham didnt think it worth answering lololol but like "are you here to watch me struggle" "why do you assume i enjoy you struggling" is the vibe i get. but then with bullying also bc alhaitham is still poking at him and his distresses lol jdkslfdskl

and then like the moment the traveler is about to be like "kavehs feeling sad" and kaveh tries to deflect it, i personally think alhaitham managed to come up with a distraction to get kaveh to walk away for a minute so he could hear about kavehs troubles bc hes IMMEDIATELY LIKE

ok now that hes gone tell me about kaveh and his issues. and then goes on to explain kaveh and his behavior

and there are SEVERAL INSTANCES i mean this is an obvious thing lol but like, many such cases where kaveh and alhaitham will be like "yeah this guy is incredibly smart but his personality is fucking unbearable" i just enjoy that as much as they rag on each other theyre still like "no he is a genius though im not gonna deny that" AND ALSO [help]

alhaitham says stuff like this a few times, i think hes got a teapot line or so where he says similar things 🤔 but hes like "yeah people go about their lives doing different things and thats fine everyone should stay in their lane as long as theyre not disrupting the lives of others" AND YET!!!!!!!!!!!! he and kaveh endlessly fight with each other on how they go about their lives. trying to get the other to see their way of thinking even though i think they both acknowledge [or it says somewhere in the lore that they do] that it is a losing battle bc theyre both really set in how they see things and their methods of doing things. I JUST FIND IT REALLY INTERESTING that alhaitham is like, "mind your business and ill mind my business what ever bye" but when it comes to kaveh hes like. no actually i have to debate you. the way you feel isnt wrong however your actions make your life really hard for yourself and you could be living better if you changed" like he cannot stay in his lane when kaveh is involved!!!!! and like the whole reason he's even IN the parade of providence event at all was bc he was pursuing a thread of research that he figured out was connected to kavehs dad and his disappearance!!! mister "i dont want to get involved if it doesnt disrupt my life" got involved to give his boy some closure on the haunting of his dead father!!!!!!!!!! I am going to explode now goodbye!!!!

[darlingsaturn]

God forbid men, non-binary, and gender expansive people want to find an inclusive space. There is no problem with writers putting fem-aligned dni in their blogs, like, at all.🧍‍♀️

While the entitlement is wrong, is it so bad people want fics that are for everyone? Like yeah obviously theres a large female audience in writing, however we shouldn’t be condemning people for asking for more inclusive writing. Obviously it shouldn’t be demanded of, but we can’t fault people for feeling excluded and asking.

Telling people to be grateful for writing that’s not even for them is stupid, like okay? It’s free writing, but at a cost. You can’t expect everyone to be compliant about that.

You should WANT the writing community to be more inclusive and open-minded. Writing is for everyone, you should not be gatekeeping.

I know my rant is while i'am raging, so i'am sorry for a few words that might be taken wrongly.

You are right for wanting the community to be open minded but the one i'am angry of is the one who DEMAND them. As in, forcing the writers to write things they has specifically says they're not comfortable with.

My rant comes from seeing a hater anon that attack a favorite author of mine. They continue to send hates by peer pressuring that author to write for male/nb reader when the writer has multiple times stated that they do not write for them.

They keep demanding and now that author deleted their account. That's why i was so mad when i wrote the rant.

Also, i'am sorry for making you think that everyone should be grateful for a fic that is not meant for them. That is not what i meant, but i can see why it could be taken that way with how i wrote them.

If you are not the target audience, then perhaps just ignore the fic or even block the account if they keep popping on tl instead of demanding for the writer to change.

Obviously you can ask the author to write for other gender/sexuality/race/etc but if the author has already told you that they're not comfortable/not of their interest, i feel like we should not ask them to be more inclusive afterward. Instead of terrorising authors into deleting their account.

I, as another writer, try to write for male/nb!mc but ultimately my safe heaven are still fem!mc because i'am a woman and i know what being a woman feels like.

Again, it's great if people can be more inclusive with their writing but i just hates when people DEMAND and FORCE others to do as they say or think as they think.

[funpuddle]

just some character shitt for future things i may want to do

I think the cornflakes characters would work better as a dynamic if instead of being strict to the comic lore, i just started all over, start all over at a point in time where they've all known eachother a while. i kind have basically been using this oversimplified outline for their characters when i think of them anytime now aside for the Other comic ive been working on on my patreon, which is just a weird nebulous Thing.

derek the dog wasn't always a dog, sometimes he wishes he weren't bitten by a weredog all those years ago, but he's come to embrace his doggyness, he sees no point in being hung up about the past. Derek is functionally an optimist, he's also really annoying and not in a cute spongebob way, he's a socially inept frat-reject douche, real immature. bunjee contrasts this by taking Dereks metaphor of Bad Thing happened to you that changed you a lot and making it literal, but he's incapable of moving past it, he comes off as the smarter and more reserved one from a subsurface glance but he's just a bitter, neurotic, sad little man. I want to make it clear how both of them are gullible and hopeless. theyre both vaguely victims of The Forces of Evil but derek doesn't question the way things are, and is just happy to live the closest approximation to the status quo. bunjee ruminates and festers, bunjee is more afraid and thinks theres more to be afraid of than there really is. bunjee tries to overcorrect this by letting impulsive and destructive tendencies get the best of him when he's vulnerable. bunjee doesn't see dereks pain as real, he sees him as too stupid to feel pain, a total rube or NPC, but he's so so jealous. Derek represents everything Bunjee wants for himself, and he wants to be stupider but doesn't realize he already is as stupid. just in different ways. god damn it this basically is a spongebob and squidward thing isnt it.

dusty fits into this by showing another response to trauma (i hope its clear by trauma i don't mean anything in specific, it could be events in their lives to just living in their comically surreal evil world, don't make fun of me man) that isn't moving on OR rocking-back-and-fourth-levels of neurosis, but detachment. If their world is chaos then dusty tries to match it, where as derek is passive to it, and bunjee spirals inwardly. Dusty doesn't put on a front of happiness but he is indeed chemically impaired over half the time, the rest of the time he's really badly grappling with the side effects of letting shit fester in the background for so long, he's wiser than the other two though.

All of these characters are capable of matching each others energy, two on two, in given circumstance, they all have overlap and they have hard barriers. contrasting and complimentary existences as one unit

none of this really gets into how they feel about each other beyond how bunjee feels about derek because i haven't fleshed out how dusty contrasts/compliments the other two nearly enough in my mind, and i'm not confident in what i do have. the gay shit wouldn't be as massive or monumental i can tell you that much but it would be a turning point. wouldn't make dusty as outwardly hateful to derek and would make dusty a little meaner to bunjee. the gay shit would feel better that way anyways. even the playing field.

smith would just straight up not exist if i could do it over again. i don't know why i added him into cornflakes comic to start, he's pretty funny with derek at least but beyond existing for the sake of it i don't find him useful as a fourth main character anymore.

i'll probably edit this as i figure out how to articulate more. it feels gay to just put it out there because i don't want the few cornflakes fans taking it the wrong way. i feel gay for typing that too, like im on some high horse, ohhhh here's my epic character lore isn't it just sooo realll. not that serious

[alstroemerian-dragon]

theres something that really bothers me about the way a lot of people talk about and write peko re: her place as fuyuhiko’s “tool,” especially when it comes to like. despair. and i feel like it stems from a few different places and one of those is definitely uh. distance from the source material. because. w. did we play the same game

like. the second trial is a lot of things. annoying. about the death of a character i dont really care about. kind of confusing. Very Sad At The End. but the one thing it shows beyond any shadow of a doubt is that peko Does Not Want To Be Fuyuhiko’s Tool. she leans into it a lot in that trial, past the stupid. serial killer shit. which is literally just desperation and quick thinking on her part (and non diagetically meant to parallel the first game but whatever). but she does that because it is the only option she thinks she has if she wants to keep fuyuhiko alive. because thats her ultimate goal, right? sure, she’s his tool. sure, theyre Badly and Unhealthily codependent. sure, she was basically groomed to stay at his side no matter what. but…

she also cares about him. genuinely. she loves him. for all that teenagers can properly conceive of love in all its forms, but she at least think she does. but she does truly care about him.

did anybody do her free time events other than me? genuine question. because i dont think someone who wants to ask the guy shes sworn to protect on a date would be content being just his tool. that sure sounds like someone who wants to be on equal footing with him.

like. look. say what you want about the anime. take it with a grain of salt. cherry pick what you like and toss the rest of it out. that sure is what i do!! but even if you do that, youve got to take the text of the game itself into account if you want to have any semblance of regular characterization, and the game makes it clear that she hates this!!! she doesnt want to be his tool! she will fight him on things if she has to! she will disobey him if she has to!!! thats the whole point of the trial!!!!! he told her to run and that he would take the fall and she told him no!!!!!!!!!

and you cant ignore the fact that the time between them starting at hope’s peak and the tragedy hitting the ground running was two whole years. people can change a lot in two years, especially teenagers, and especially high schoolers. idk how long its been since you were in high school (unless you currently are in which case. dear gd im so sorry. good luck) but your mental state in high school is so fucked. you have no idea who you are and neither does anybody else and can you even imagine the kinds of pressure the ultimates would have been under?? again, taking the anime with a grain of salt, but even if you go along with it and think the school was barely a school at all, the pressure from society, from family, from peers still has an impact. everyone was telling them who they were and that thats who they were going to be for the rest of their lives and i doubt ANY of them felt like it.

and even if you subscribe to the idea, like me, that their second year was a downward spiral because of junko’s presence and influence, they still needed somewhere to fall from. the idea that peko was uniquely comfortable being quiet and violent and doing whatever fuyuhiko wanted so she didnt need despair to be his tool is ridiculous. i see the argument of “well watching her friends fall into despair and spiral made her spiral in turn and grow numb to it and retreat into herself until she needed to become fuyuhiko’s tool again as a coping mechanism” but. buddy. That Is Despair.

sometimes i feel like the only person who thinks about despair complexly and maybe thats its own post because this ones too long already but. despair isnt just Being Brainwashed Into A Monster. ignore what the writers told you. okay? look at me. Look Into My Eyes. The Writers Are Fucking Idiots And Dont Know How To Write Good Drama With Genuine Stakes. despair as a nuanced concept is so much more horrifying. different post. sorry. peko.

if peko had not been pulled down by despair just like the rest of them she would have fought tooth and nail to keep fuyuhiko above it. she would have demanded he explain to her why he was doing what he was doing. and she would have told him no.

and of course heres where i get into the accusatory part because the other place a lot of this comes from is, and im sorry, an unwillingness to write complex or nuanced women. not pointing fingers, but reducing peko down into “fuyuhiko’s tool” and “she does whatever he says without question” completely destroys any minuscule amount of agency she has. shes a fucking person. yes, shes pixels on a screen. yes, shes a representation of tropes. but diagetically, within the fiction of the game, she is a human being, and if you want to write her, and not be puppeting around a gddamn cardboard cutout, you have to think of her as a person with agency who makes her own fucking choices. sometimes those choices are taken away from her. but they shouldnt be taken away by you.

[palant1r]

Why do you think Matsuda was grinning when he offered to make the eye deal in Death Note? For that matter, what do you think would have happened if he had? How could it happen? What would happen differently if Matsuda died and Soichiro lived? Honestly, I just really want to know about this AU, and you seem like the fandom Matsuda expert!

hehehe i LOVE this question!!!

matsuda is someone who desperately wants to be useful. far from this being something he learns to deal with through the series, it's a need that gets exacerbated as the story goes on. he has a deep-seated anxiety about being useless, and this fuels a lot of his actions. theres a reason his Yotsuba Shenanigans were prompted by him being brushed off repeatedly by L and told to just do menial tasks. he wants to be important to the investigation, and at first, he's just kinda stupid about it — willing to put himself in danger to be useful, but it seems more like just recklessness than deliberate self-sacrifice. like he doesn't really understand the stakes

this...changes, after the timeskip. matsuda still gladly puts himself in danger, but there's a tint of desperation to it. like he better understands the danger, but that doesn't change anything. one standout example is when matsuda tells soichiro to tell mello that matsuda is L — it's very clear that this puts matsuda in massive danger, but he does it anyway. and, crucially, soichiro goes along with it. there's a new degree of trust there — the task force knows now that matsuda is gonna pull this shit and there's nothing they can do to stop him. and of course light picks up on it.

like, the thing about matsuda volunteering to take the eyes is that it's not an out of nowhere thing like the Yotsuba Shenanigans were. light was surprised by that. but five years later, he knows matsuda a lot better — enough to know he'll volunteer to take the eyes.

venturing into the realm of conjecture and hc, i think there's a few things going on here. i think that matsuda is someone who really keenly feels the danger they're in, and is most afraid when he's helpless. to him, that fear goes away when he's Doing Something About It. and i think this meshes well with my h/c that matsuda was on a riot unit prior to the NPA. while everyone else is a thinker and investigator, matsuda is a doer. he feels a lot of anxiety when he's just sitting around, and feels useless because he's not much help in the more cerebral parts of the investigation. but then something Must Be Done and Action Must Be Taken, and matsuda is in his element — he doesn't hesitate to come forward, and feels a rush of relief as he finally has some degree of control over the situation. so i kinda read his happiness as him finally having a way he can be useful and something he can do to catch kira.

as for what would have happened if he did take the eyes...well, it's not a happy story, and there's a damn good reason that light planned for him to take them. matsuda absolutely would have killed mello. wouldn't have even let him open his mouth. he doesn't have the same hangups around the death note that soichiro does — hell, after the chief's death, he was willing to let near use the death note to kill mello, though it's hard to know just how much of that was motivated by mello basically killing soichiro. light would have then used matsuda to prove the 13-day rule by killing him after he didn't write any names for 13 days. it would have been SO easy to convince matsuda's self-sacrificing ass that it was better for him to die than to live by killing criminals with the death note or something.

....though, well, there is a chance that, riding the high of the raid, light would have taken a risk. after all, he already thought matsuda understood him, and matsuda killing mello would only prove that further. why not have matsuda kill a death row criminal every 13 days? why not eventually escalate it to matsuda killing an escaped death row criminal? you see where i'm going with this. it would be a crack to open up, to start to let kira's ideology infiltrate the task force.

that could potentially work if soichiro died — it's pretty heavily implied that he would have only lived a few days after the raid if he didn't take the eyes anyway. but if soichiro lived, i don't think matsuda could have been convinced to use the death note after the raid, even to save his own life. matsuda's moral compass for much of the series is the chief, after all

[goldenlevi]

Thank you! Here it is. You and Eddie fought over jealousy, and Eddie is very sad about the situation. You head to his house to talk, but all you find is his uncle. Mr Munson then decides to have a long and sincere chat with you and asks you not to hurt his nephew because, contrary to what people in Hawkings think, he is a good, sensitive boy who wants to be loved. He also says he has never seen his nephew so sad and is completely in love with you. When you meet Eddie at school, you hug him tight, give him lots of kisses and tell him you love him dearly in front of everyone. Hope it's ok for you and sorry if it's too long.

here darling! I didn't want to keep you waiting, I hope this is more or less what you had in mind at least! thank you and feel free to drop by my ask anytime if u just wanna chat! <3

ps: im sorry if theres any mistakes, i am a bit tired haha

You can check my other works here if you'd like :)

Your hands felt damp as you knocked on the door, heart pounding in your chest as nerves settled while you waited for an answer. You weren’t even sure if he would open the door. Not after your argument, it was just so stupid the way it began, you thought it made no sense. Perhaps at the time, you weren’t thinking about him, about how to him it made perfect sense. 

The door opened and you stepped back, taking a deep breath already preparing your speech. Your stomach dropped when you saw it wasn’t Eddie who was on the other side but Mr. Munson himself, his uncle. 

The older man’s face signaled confusion at first, but then he quickly recognised you. “Y/N? Eddie ain’t here” He said.

You looked down, almost embarrassed. If he wasn’t here, then... where could he be? It was getting late and the last thing you needed was to worry about where he was on top of everything else. You were about to open your mouth to respond when he interrupted. “Come in. I think we should talk” 

You barely gave him a nod, watching him take a few steps back,  allowing you to enter his home. Your throat felt dry, and you gulped instinctively although it didn’t seem to help easing the nerves.

“You know Eddie’s grown now but he’s still my boy,” The older man began, as he made a move to sit on his couch. He opened a can of beer, and motioned you to sit beside him. “Everyone in town has a fixed idea on what he does, who he is…but it’s all bullshit. He’s a sensitive one you see,” He paused to drink. You listened respectfully, not knowing exactly where the conversation was going. “Like everyone else he just wants to be loved. And I know for a fact, that he loves you. You understand what I’m saying here?” 

It seemed like all you could do was nod. Words were stuck in your throat, and you didn’t know how to break them free. You feared that it would result in you burst out into tears next to a man you barely knew. 

“All I’m asking here is for you not to hurt him. Because, I swear I have never seen him like this. He looked like a goddamn beaten up puppy” Your eyes now filled with unshed tears that you struggled to keep within. 

Taking a deep breath, you decided to open up, to the only family Eddie had left. “I love him too, Mr. Munson. I swear I don’t want to cause him any pain” The words left your lips, timidly but honestly. The older man sighed, and his tone changed now to a lighter and more happy one. 

“That’s good. Now, just talk to him, yeah? I’ll tell him to listen to you or else he’ll have to deal with me" The tip of his mouth turned slightly up, offering you what resembled a smile.

“I honestly don’t understand what the big deal is!” You didn't mean to yell, but honestly frustration was getting the best of you. When you had met Eddie earlier that day, you thought everything was ok. Evidently, you were mistaken. As you opened your arms reaching for a hug, he responded with a simple grunt. You frowned, but shrugged it off, thinking that perhaps he was just in a bad mood. Your own, however, began to sour as he kept giving you half-hearted replies, until finally you confronted him and asked him what was wrong.

Eddie always knew something like this would happen. He was never good at containing his emotions, he would often burst or act out when he cared, was passionate about something. In this case, someone. The long-haired man was also scared that you would find someone else, someone better. He got jealous when he saw you talking to a guy he was sure he never seen before, and words he didn’t fully mean poured out of him without any signs of slowing down.

The following day, you woke up feeling like a weight was off your shoulders. When you arrived at school, the conversation between yourself and Eddie’s uncle still lingered in the back of your mind. You searched for him, not stopping to greet anyone that tried to speak to you. You finally spotted him near a classroom, you forgot all about the heated argument and focused on who was in front of you. This time, your arms fully locked around his neck, giving him no time to stop you, even if he desired to do so. You kissed his cheek, once, twice greeting him like it was a normal occurrence. The normal loud noise of the hallway quieted down, as the scene unfolded, but you couldn’t care less. The only thing that mattered to you, was making Eddie realize that you had no problem in letting everyone know how you felt about him. 

You felt his arms surround you as he whispered an apology solely for your ears. A mix of shock and happiness invaded his body, questions filled his lips, but it wasn’t enough to prevent him from holding you as tight as he could in that crowded hallway. “I love you Eddie” You practically announced just before planting a kiss on his lips.

[heyitslapis]

its a fucking shitshow at work tonight

so we have two groups in-house until Monday. We had 6 no-shows but checked them in anyway because lots of reasons i wont go into cause its unimportant.

A few hours ago a guy left his room and after the door latched the keypad lock DIED. We spent an hour and went through plan A, B, C, & D to try to get the door open. No such luck. We called and woke up our manager, and after telling her everything we tried, she said theres nothing else we can do short of disassembling the door lock, but then he wouldnt be able to latch his door. Have to wait for Maintenance in the morning (8am). We'd normally move him to an empty room but were sold out. Cause he can't sleep in the lobby, we made the decision to move him into one of the no-shows rooms. Two hours later, and guess who shows up? The ONE room out of the 6 no-shows that we gave to the guy who got locked out. So the only way we could move her to a different room was to checkout one of the no-shows (who again, all of them are supposed to be staying through Monday). So i checked her into the room that i just checked out. Now thats a fucking mess and a half to sort out as it is, so god fucking forbid any of the other no-shows show up, because we'll have to do more checkouts and transfers, which will only dig deeper the sinkhole of a situation.

Mind you right after all this is happening and im still frazzled as fuck, one of the ladies who lead one of the groups comes to checkout but is asking to make sure her employees with the group are set to checkout on the 2nd. She doesnt know the room numbers. Only other way we can look up the right rooms is by searching the rate code (employees and students were checked in under the same code, so that wont help), by searching the company name (again, students and employees have the same company name, so that wont work) or by searching the last names. She gave me like 4 different last names. Two of the names werent even in our system, the other two of them had completely different first names than what she told me. She said thats not them. Only other way i could help her is to use the confirmation number, which she had. Found one of the rooms using the confirmation number, and turns out it was under a completely different name. The confirmation number was correct, so i changed the name. The departure date was wrong, so i pushed it through our system, which is gonna oversell us for that day (oh fucking well im leaving that shit for the managers to figure out). She asked about the other rooms, and i asked for those confirmation #s. Apparently she only received ONE confirmation for the 4 rooms, so i literally cannot find those other rooms. She was definitely frustrated and needed to catch her flight, so I asked her if she can have her associates stop by the desk whenever theyre able so we can use their keys to pull up their room numbers and fix all this (sales dropped the ball on that, because if the one room had an incorrect departure date, it means the other rooms do too, which is going to fuck up our inventory even MORE. Yay.) After she leaves, i check her out, only to realize her departure date was the 1st. We're not supposed to check group rooms out early unless sales gives the ok. So i fucked up yet another thing.

To add on all this shit, because ive been running around half the night i didnt get to do my paperwork when i was supposed to, which takes me about an hour and i usually finish it around 3am. Its currently 5:30am, i only just finished my paperwork 10 minutes ago, and im finally on a very short break. Fuck my stupid baka life

[palettepainter]

Pallete, As I'm completely excited for the new muppet series, i have a question, how old do you think the members of this band was when they found each other.

My personal theory is that Teeth left home at 14 to 15 years of age, looking to be independent. (Based on what he said in 2015 muppets) Got his gold tooth, bought a van and picked up his friends on the way to start his life on the road, playing piano for others and for money. The first being Janice.

I've actually spoken with Snuff about this on Discord a couple of times, and it was only after we got excited over the idea of a potential origin episode about the band did I start diving into the idea of the "How DID they all meet?"

I know in the 2015 show they said Janice dated Teeth for a short while and I thiiink theres a clip from the og show of them in the ballroom segment dancing together?? I'm still not 100% sure on if I love or just like Janice x Teeth, mostly cuz Janice x Floyd will forever be in my heart

My hc so far for how they met is this, this is a very quick description as my idea may change after the show:

Teeth left home at 16 (I know in the 2015 show he said 14 but I doubt he would have left home THAT when he was a teen) and left for the big city after someone responded to his calling for musicians for a band. Alas things didn't work out so Teeth is left working shifts playing the piano at a local pub and living off tips and what money he brought with him. Just as he's about to throw in the towel he runs into Floyd (same age as Teeth) and Animal (a few years younger). They quickly strike it up as friends for a few days, Floyd letting Teeth crash at their place while he's low on cash. Eventually the trio hit the road after Teeth discovered Floyd's and Animal's knack for the bass and guitar

~Side note~ As for how Teeth got his gold tooth I imagine it happened later in his life when he lost all his baby teeth. I like to believe Teeth constantly changes the story whenever someone asks how he got his golden tooth, when in reality it was probably something really stupid, like he fell down the stairs and slammed face first into the floor and knocked his tooth out

They spend a few months travelling, grooving out when they can at pubs and on street corners. They only ever stay in one place for a few weeks to scrape up cash before moving to the next city, trying to find more band members along the way. One day the trio get thrown off a train they'd snuck onto and land in somewhere just outside of San Francisco. After days of walking the group take a pit stop to rest up where they bump into Janice peacefully meditating - it took a bit for her to actually notice them but she very kindly tells them she knows a place for he weary trio to recharge on their travels. The gang take temporary roost on Haight street (hippy street), a happy, thriving, laxed group of hippies (and a few stoners-) from all walks of life. The band are happily welcomed into the community and the locals are very enthusiastic about their music, more enthusiastic then any city folk have been! Over their stay Floyd probably develops a little crush on Janice, who though at first denies their request to join them on the road she changes her mind last minute and catches the next bus/train with them out of town

I'm not too sure about Zoot - I had the idea of him maybe being apart of Janice's little hippy community and, at the time, him and Janice are roommates and not yet together together (I do love the ship Zoot x Janice, I think it's cute and I like the idea of them being a thing in the past!), if anyones got suggestions feel free to share em!

Lips was the last to join (referenced in my story Well I Think You're Pretty Cool on A03). Lips grew up fairly poor and a lot of his clothes where hand me downs, going off from Snuf's (discord buds) HC's Lips grew up near the coastline where not a lot happened, but he grew a love for music thanks to the countless parties that would happen at the beach. He left home bright and with a skip in his step, not too sure how he bumps into the band, perhaps he overhears them playing in a pub on his travels and after the performance shyly offers his compliments . From there Teeth notices the little instrument case Lips is carrying around and Lips plays them a little solo on his trumpet, where the band applaud him, then ask him if he wants to join their crew

[bepoets]

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

TRISH PLEASE THERES 40 ROSES HERE🤣😭 instead of giving you 40 sentences from one WIP I’m gonna give you 4 sentences for 10 different ted/rebecca fic WIPs because why not😌 under a read more because it is terribly long lol

1. a little something from my kind of sort of not really Matilda au!!

She’s looking up at Rebecca with wide eyes, glistening with tears. Her eyes remind Rebecca very suddenly of Ted’s. They’re the same warm brown, filled with a hopefulness she has grown to associate with only Ted. One look at the girl’s big, pleading eyes and Rebecca knows, if this was her child she’d never be able to say no to her.

2. from a post canon thing about Ted being depressed in Kansas and Rebecca drunk calling him in the middle of the night

“Move on from who?” The question is out of his mouth before he even has a chance to really think it over and realize exactly how stupid it was to ask that, on a variety of different levels.

Rebecca groans, and he can picture her with her fingertips pressed to her temples.

“This was a mistake. I am not supposed to tell you.”

3. from another post canon thing where Ted starts dreaming about past moments with a Rebecca but through a Very Romantic Lens and he has a tizzy about it

“Good dreams, then?”

He starts to nod his head in agreement before shaking it in a staunch no, only to stop a second after to stare off into space again. His eyes glued to a wall just beyond his phone where Sharon is pulled up on a video call.

4. from rusty swing fic my beloved that I haven’t worked on in Months oh god I’m so sorry rusty swing fic, I’ll come back to you one day

She knows that every time they have a disagreement, whether she bears the brunt of the blame or not, her parents simply wait her out. Let her stew in her displeasure for a few hours, days, weeks. Until they’ve decided — without any input from Rebecca herself — that everything is back to normal.

Sometimes she thinks maybe they can only really hear her when she’s yelling.

5. a little missed connections soulmate au

By the time she’s twenty Rebecca’s heard just about every romantic iteration of a soulmate bond taking place. It’s supposed to be life changing, a moment you can feel throughout your entire body. The stars aligning and a moment of pure magic in an ordinary world.

She supposes it only makes sense that the whole thing would be rather anticlimactic in the end.

6. something from a post s2e6 soulmate au because I like seeing how many soulmate aus I can write without finishing any😌

She wants to cradle his face in her hands and breathe kindness and safety into him. To shine a little flashlight when he’s trapped in the darkest places, waiting with her arms wide open for whenever he’s ready. She wants to warm his hands in hers and help stitch up every wound that lingers on his heart. Even if it should leave her own hands stained and bloody.

7. in which Michelle and Henry assumed Ted & Rebecca were dating. So obviously the only logical reaction is for Ted & Rebecca to pretend to date.

He should be paying attention, he wants to be paying attention. He’d love nothing more than to be able to hear what’s going on, but the ringing won’t stop. It’s a dull but persistent hum clouding over all his senses. The only thoughts rattling through his mind are the words Michelle said just before everything went all fuzzy.

8. from my little combination gala & wedding fic that Henry has wormed his way into out of nowhere

The dark green dress apparently looks like the color of split pea and ham soup, and Henry makes her swear on her morning biscuit delivery that she won’t wear that one. She tries to show it a little support, the color may be unfortunate but the dress is in a cut she absolutely loves. But Henry only shakes his head and says “it’s the worst color of all, Becca, you gotta promise.” And so she does, holding out her pinky finger for Henry to hook his around.

9. excerpt from a little thing that has no plot beyond Rebecca being sexy when she’s bossy

“Can you?” Rebecca’s tongue slips out of the corner of her mouth, wets her lips, and now she’s smirking and fuck. Ted can’t look away. Every thought completely gone, focused entirely on how enticing her lips look.

But Ted’s pretty sure she asked him a question. And he’s never been one to keep a pretty lady waiting, even if his brain is a bit scrambled at the moment.

10. from a weird little fantasy medieval Rebecca as a queen Ted as a baker in town type thing

It isn’t one of the nights where his deepest worries and fears are running through his mind like a hoard of wild horses. It’s a perfectly normal night, after a perfectly normal day. His hands are not trembling, and he takes each breath with remarkable ease. He’s counted sheep, he’s recited recipes in his head, he’s even hummed a lullaby — or five — all to no avail.