#theres a lot more to how i view his character ofc

[haysprite]

can we hear some of your headcanons about frank :)

OMG YES !!! I feel like my interpretation of him is like really different than other people's, but its finnnneee :o) Also there's a lot so brace yourself 👍 I also wanted to focus more on just him this time around since I've already done a HC dump about him and Julie !

• AuDHD also go brrr (I’ll be real I’ve hit all four of em with this lmfao)

• Has a really high pain tolerance! He could break a bone or somethin and literally try to walk it off despite the other’s protests. 

• ON THE OTHER HAND THO, he is PATHETIC when it comes to getting sick (which isn’t often, but that means it hits him HARD when he does). Talk about man colds fr 🙏 The other three tend to make fun of him for this, but Julie still takes care of him cause she finds it a bit funny and wants to help her silly bf out.

• Absolutely loves being the center of attention, so he defo tries to impress anyone around him

• He really did enjoy playing basketball and being on Fairview’s team! He didn’t really get along with most of his team, but he was pretty good at the sport and being on the court was sometimes freeing for him. Was also a p good excuse to stay away from home.

• Dropped out of school early into his senior year, punching that referee was simply his final straw

• During the car ride to Ormond, he defo tried to run away while Clive was stopped to get some gas, but got caught pretty quickly. Frank may be strong, but Clive was stronger, and managed to force him back into the car. The rest of the ride was pretty silent after this

• Absolutely loves hoodies and jackets, and is rarely seen without one (whether he’s wearing it or just has it on hand). They’re just comfy, what can I say

• Loves the thrill of fights, which he gets into a bit more often than he probably should. Also tends to be the one to throw the first punch.

• He is NOT a morning person whatsoever. It takes him forever to finally drag his ass out of bed. He’s more of a night person, both for the peacefulness and because there’s more potential to cause some mayhem without getting caught.

• Though he’s the leader of the Legion, most of the plans and ideas come from Julie and Joey, since they actually like to think plans through unlike Frank, who will jump straight into something without giving it a second thought. He’s got zero impulse control lets be fr

• Hates the quiet, he either has to have music playing or be talking to somebody or else he just feels uncomfortable

• Has quite a few tattoos, though the only one ever really visible is the one on his neck. Got his first tattoo at 15 and loved the rush he got from getting one. I feel like he got his neck tattoo right before being dragged to Ormond at (roughly) 17. He had to be sneaky about getting them, ofc, but he’s always been pretty good at faking IDs and lying about his age (hence why he’s able to get his hands on alcohol n shit p easily).

• He’s a bit of a flirt, having a pretty charming nature to him, which he defo uses to his advantage when he needs to get out of sticky situations

• Not trusted behind the steering wheel, so Julie or Joey are always the ones to drive everyone places, which he’s a bit annoyed by, but he got over it eventually

• Has a lil collection of random trinkets he’s saved throughout his life, like things he’s stolen from every foster home he’s been through, random shit he’s found on the ground, gifts given to him by his friends, etc

• Whenever he was relocated, he would ALWAYS research as much as he possibly could about where he was being sentenced to. He found the history behind certain places really interesting, especially if there were any murders or creepy shit involved, and it also helped him plan out ways to get out of there as quickly as possible.

• Absolutely hates Clive with the PASSION. He did nothing but ignore Frank, no matter how hard he tried to get his attention. Frank picked a lot of verbal fights with him, some of them almost escalating into something physical, but Clive wasn’t afraid to fight back and stopped each fight pretty quickly.

• Got kicked out about half a year after turning 18, but he didn’t really care since he basically lived at the lodge anyway. Just meant he was finally free from living with Clive permanently

• He has a funny older brother / younger sister relationship with Susie. They’ll do shit like yelling at each other from across the lodge about what kind of pizza they should get, or walking into the room the other is in only to stand there silently before turning off the lights and BOOKING it. They annoy each other a lot, but they do it out of love (platonic obv) lmfao

• He and Joey do stupid shit like wrestling, arm wrestling, or straight up fights to see who’s stronger. Despite Frank being the one to initiate most of these, Joey wins a good 90% of the time unless he’s really caught off guard.

• Would do literally anything for Julie <3 He is so pathetically in love with her. I feel like Susie bugged him a lot about this before he and Julie started dating, calling him out whenever she caught him staring at Julie for too long or just teasing him about it

• Is REALLY bad at comforting his friends when they’re feelin down, but he tries his best 👍 It’s either him threatening to kick the ass of whoever made them upset, or just being silent and letting them vent cause he doesn’t really know how to respond

• Got super excited when he found out Julie also loved slasher films and learning about serial killers, and was really happy about finally having someone to talk about this shit with. They have movie nights a lot where they watch stupid slasher films for sure !

• It takes a lot to calm him down when he’s angry. Though his friends are sometimes able to help, most of the time they have to leave him be and let him punch or break some shit to release his anger.

• He always feels really bad whenever he blows up at one of his friends, he just struggles with actually apologizing about it. Julie is helping him a lot with this, and even though progress is slow, he’s slowly learning and getting better at it

[thatneoncrisis]

Curious about your issues with the show!! I have my own ofc but always interested In more opinions

spoilers for like. all of the show el oh el

its hard for me to like. properly articulate on the fly but i think its primarily 1. a show that is genuinely trying to build a complicated structure out of the rusted metal and twigs that makes up LoL lore that gets overhauled every like, four years, so often times it feels like a character in arcane will get hard shafted out of a natural arc so they end up where they "should be" in accordance to their league counterpart.

strongest example i have off the dome is violet, where i think in act 1 of arcane shes a really intriguing and well crafted character whos sympathetic and has goals and values you can follow. and then they shunt her off to prison during the time skip and when she comes out shes like. everything she does from that point on just feels Tilted it feels like they gutted out all the parts that would have gotten me from A to Z wrt her going from scrappy kid in the lanes whos like. direct causes of terror and unhappiness in life were from enforcer. to a bitch who joins the enforcers. and its not that i dont think that turnaround is possible, i just dont think they articulated it well with such a truncated amount of episodes split between so many subplots

and then my main Thing 2. uuuh. this is more of like my own issues with this kind of story telling in general rather than an arcane specific issue that i will codify as "liberal progressives attempt to Both Sides the issue of apartheid in their magic story." the creators of the show emphasized that they wanted each character to be morally grey, differnt shades to them and the motivations contextualizing their actions. which is like, fair enough thats just good character writing but i dont think theyre particularly. great at that. especially when trying to marry it to my earlier point about how certain characters essentially have to invert to become their league analogs in some sense. also someone like ekko? not grey. hes just right? he doesnt fuck with enforcers and he doesnt fuck with the kingpin flooding the lanes with shimmer, he just wants to help the people suffering the most. stand up dude.

theres a lot of different levels to which this clashing between intent and execution falls flat for me in arcane but the one ill get into now is silco and vander. from an objective view its a classic story of two close brothers in arms driven apart by ideology/circumstance, weve seen it with professor xavier and magneto, it also reminded me of tchalla and killmonger although they dont have the childhood friends aspect going for them. but the point is its not like a unique idea. two people want to change the world for the better, one of them starts killing civilians about it, the first guy is like hey! maybe dont do that! epic fall out ensues.

and the story is cognizant of the fact that silco IS an antagonist: not just in the sense that he is opposing our protagonists goals, he sold out the children to the enforcers in the first act, he released shimmer onto zaun and keeps a stranglehold on the city with his circle of chem barons like he fucking sucks. and the whole time im watching im noting how his methods to "free zaun" are like, THE thing destroying it. the streets are rampant with nameless mutated homeless people hooked on shimmer he is directly responsible for. and i was kind of waiting for like. a shift within his circle. if that makes sense. obviously people like violet and ekko and caitlyn dont like him but they never did they dont have to be convinced, but to have someone who initially put all their trust into him as the guy to bring zaun into glory and then slowly have to reckon with the fact theyve propped up a mad man who has prioritized power in himself over the initial goal of liberating the city would have whipped ass.

and then it just didnt happen. theres this fascinating thing going on with silco where hes talking mad shit about the likes of vander, oh hes too softhearted, he will never do what it takes to truly ensure the safety and freedom of the lanes bc he cares too much about his damn babies. and then silco finds himself as caretaker of one of those babies. the show meticulously shows me how he cares for her, he softens for her, he lets her tinker in her silly cave all day and blow up cops with harley quinn bombs. so we have three main things to keep in mind with silco:

his primary stated goal is to free zaun from piltovers repressive rule.

his shimmer production is one of if not The thing actively destroying the lanes

he now has Baby, whos safety has become a growing priority for him.

this culminating in the finale where he is presented with the opportunity to hand her over to the authorities in exchange for zauns independence. now THIS could have been a really interesting internal dilemma for him. he is now faced with the exact choice that led vander to becoming "weak" in his eyes. whats one girls life in exchange for his dream finally becoming a reality. but its also an impossible thing to ask because thats his Daughter. so now hes risking scrutiny from his underlings for being wishy washy. ooh intrigue mystery. youd really need some time to steep on his agonies and what hes really willing to prioritizeat this point in his life

and then none of that happens bc hes immediately kidnapped and shot and never has to seriously consider it. he never has to SACRIFICE he always just. has everything he wants. forever. until he dies. powerful chem baron running the show with his army of teen supersoldiers.

another route i considered them being able to do is something more focused on him and sevika. she left vander to join his cause specifically bc she thought vander was weak. as his right hand, she would do anything for silco, including literally giving up her fucking arm when she saved him from the blast in act one. timeskip, now we see she has a fun new mech arm powered by silcos own shimmer, which we are shown the side effects of time and time again. i thought this was leaning into a metaphor about how her emotional dependence on him and his cause was being represented by a chemical dependence on shimmer. like its destroying her physically and mentally but she NEEDS it to work out to know it wasnt all for nothing so shell put up with whatever sketchy bullshit hes got going on, the ends justify the means. and we get like six detailed shots of shimmer being pumped directly into her body i thought for sure they were gonna be like oh this is fucking killing her, like a compound v situation

but shes like. fine. theres no side effects besides a cool scar. shes chilling.

i also thought her antagonistic dynamic with jinx was going somewhere. like if sevika noticed that silco was putting her above what needed to be done for the sake of liberating zaun, and noticing how it mirrored how vander became "weak" and getting that much more pissed about playing second fiddle to a 17 year old. like imagine you get that whole scene where sevika makes it look like shes gonna execute silco, then murders the chem baron who asked her to do it because she trusts him THAT much, then later she hears about jayce's offer to silco and sees him GENUINELY considering leaving the offer on the table JUST for jinx. sorry if i was her id snap. id go crazy id start a coup.

so basically what im saying is. lotta different options to make the characters richer and more grey as they struggle with what they really care about. but the story just kind of shuffles past them and then insists that the bonds were there the whole time you guys jinx and sevika are totally besties now shes a symbol of zaun <3

[zackcharine]

You sent me Beefer what about Pico KEKW

YAAAY THE GUYYY

• favorite thing about them: tbh its kinda hard to not just say Everything JDHDHDH i like his issues,, even if they probably just were added to him for edge im also a psychosis haver and seeing that on a character i love so much makes me so happy.. I also like how he tries sooo hard to be Serious and distant but he will never beat the silly dumb guy that cares a lot allegations

• least favorite thing about him: I dont think that theres something i dont like that comes like. directly from him... this is just me bitching but im not a fan of when people try to make him all macho and angry and agressive all the time,,, he can feel other emotions guys,,, (<- this isnt directed at anyone and its gladly something i dont see often anymore!) Ive also seen some very poor handling/demonization of his schizophrenia and it makes me The Sadge... but again this isnt something ive seen since leaving twitter LMFAO

• favorite line:

This makes me laugh so hard every time JDJDHDH

• brOTP: i like them romantically too but i really like his relationships with Darnell and Nene too :] I'm a big NGtrio fan

• OTP: RGB !!!! THEY MAKE ME ILL,,,, /VPOS

• nOTP: i dont like picass.. no hate to anyone who does ofc, this is just a personal thing

• random headcanon: AUGH i have so many djdhdhd but i also few like i dont have anything new/interesting to bring to the table,,

But i think he unconsciously associates weight with comfort/safety bc of his guns and how hes been carrying him all the time since he was 13... i wanna do this to him

I also think he used to be a datahoarder when he was younger.. i think his computer his completely filled with flash games/stuff JZHHDHD

• unpopular opinion: scratches my head,,, i honestly dont know djdhdgd

• song i associate with them: AAGHH i suck at assigning songs to characters unfortunally..

I already said that this is a very RGB song to me, but when i listen to it i mostly see it from his point of view !

This one is more loose but it also reminds me of him

• favorite picture of them:

I love the way mindchamber draws him,,,

Not one picture but.. him baiting Darnell and instantly getting punched is just. wonderful JDJDHDHGD i also love how he looks on the weekend 1 cutscenes in general... hes so stupid

[brainrotdotorg]

im making this post for. fucking NO ONE LMAO but i saw @sydmarch's fucking bonkers post about measurehead being openly racist to "his babe" (named katya) and it boggled my mind so much that i was like. yanno what. I'm gonna find out more about this chick. so strap in because the patented Niche Character Lover is gonna do some digging on this extremely niche character.

Let's get started by checking her wiki page! Here is what we have to work with:

Literally fucking nothing. Okay cool. Here's the very little amount of information we have:

Her name is Katya

She's Graadian

She's in a relationship with Measurehead (and calls him by his real name, Jean-Luc)

She is one of multiple "measurehead babes" it seems

cool okay so theres some preliminary information. all extremely basic stuff. I dove into FAYDE to see what I could find, and there are a few details to be gleaned.

Our explanation for why she's with him in the first place! She buys into the bullshit, "craniometric perfection", a fellow believer of racist bullshit. She buys into it hard core, as seen here:

"Transcends the merely sexual"-- she worships this guy!

Anyway, she's also into 'men with guns and power', implied here she may be flirting a little bit even with the lil hair twirl. Makes some idle conversation with Harry and Kim as they wait:

[Og]996.MEASUREHEAD'S BABE - "Don't worry. Physical stuff like this is *really* easy for Measurehead. Mental stuff too. He's really spiritual, you know." She looks around.

[Og]2.MEASUREHEAD'S BABE - "It's late outside, isn't it? You guys must really like doing what you do. To be out so late..." She turns to behold the behemoth appearing around the corner, approaching the gates.

(good with the mental and spiritual... sure, okay)

They seem to have some level of... I guess "tenderness" for each other? Calling one another pet names and whatnot, okay, I guess we could call it that. Interesting to see her not be a million percent on his side all the time, she actually asks him to give Harry a chance.

In fact, she's quite amenable to a shift in control. Loyal, she is not!

She did say she was into power, to be fair, and Harry's the new guy on top once he beats MH's ass, so that makes sense.

Katya is also sometimes used as a mouthpiece for ALL the babes (iirc there are 3?) as seen here

god they are down FEROCIOUS!!

Cockmanship above all else!! (this could just be a biased harry-ism ofc so. grain of salt!)

But here's the thing- you know the dick isn't even good, because, as syd brought to my attention... MEASUREHEAD CAN'T SEEM TO FUCKIN GET IT UP FOR THEM BECAUSE HES SO RACIST.

(screenshots taken directly from their post) ... so, like, what the fuck, right? Well, apparently when you go off to talk to Measurehead privately, it's about the babes. Lets see what he has to say.

She also doesn't seem to like being ogled by guys other than Measurehead. At least, not by Harry, who she views as genetically inferior.

(This is gonna veer less into Katya-specific territory, but is gonna lean into more about MH's views on women. Which I was actually wondering about earlier tonight, how serendipitous)

This isn't relevant, it's just table setting. I thought it was funny. Anyway, once you get through some nationalist BS, we get to the meat of the matter. Or should I say the meat and potatoes of the matter? no i shouldnt

okay. so. lots going on here.

uh. after this he starts talking about semen retention yeah man we've all heard it you don't bust nuts yadda yadda semen reserves whatever. this is pretty much as close as we get from measurehead himself about what... that whole deal is. he lied before, about not being able to get hard for his babes, at least thats the context that im getting. he's TURNED ON by them, he says so himself. but he won't admit it in a public forum, only when its just him and harry.

he... he literally cant justify himself how he's racist AND attracted to those in the racial group he demeans. it's just all faux-intellectual bullshit. i don't know what else i expected! this leaves a lot of questions, though-- did MH and his babes talk this out? do they realized just how hard theyre being fetishized? i mean, they buy into the race pseudoscience shit. oh, god, its most likely a case of "im special, im different, im the exception" that happens too often. thats all speculation; but in my mind, thats the most likely result.

This has strayed away from Katya, let's bring it back to our gal. What else can we learn about her?

Well, unfortunately, not much. I tried my hardest to look for every other instance where she speaks, and there aren't many. Only 65, from my count, and a good chunk of those are just lil dialogue blips.

These last two facts are what I could find that seemed significant:

When Harry says that he's going to stop drinking, she gives us the only real indicator we have of her personal past- her mother was an alcoholic, and she's pretty blasè about it. Okay girl casual loredrop

...and Measurehead eats her out. And apparently she enjoys it. okay. (or she could just be posturing, notice she doesnt say that it makes HER pussy say "yes plenty" so...)

and hey, just to tie it all up, here's all the shit that katya and the other babes just say casually when you walk by em:

 "Measurehead crushes all."

"More than enough to please a woman." (further proving the theory that they do fuck, still not enough to support any hypotheses that he's any good at it)

"Measurehead is a powerful man."

"The future belongs to Measurehead."

"Nobody comes close to Measurehead."

"You're the right stuff, Measurehead."

"No man matches Measurehead."

"Measurehead makes all men quiver." (sus)

 "Oh, Measurehead!"

 "Measurehead is *law*."

 "Everyone should try to be more like Measurehead."

"No one will get past you!"

"Just look at him, the wonderful hunk."

"Not soft and weak like other men."

 "Measurehead's amazing!"

"I dream about you all the time."

I don't really know what I did this for or even if i found out anything significantly new but. god. so many questions. what are the other babes like? what are their names? how did measurehead find/indoctrinate them? were they already brainwashed? so many questions!!!!!!!!

IN CONCLUSION i think katya and the two other babes should unionize and start their own polycule without him and also get. un-brainwashed. thanks

[saintarmand]

8, 17, 21 & 22 for the iwtv ask thingy! 🤍

8. Who's your favorite actor?

jacob anderson. come on now. they're all great but he is ethereal. second place assad zaman

17. Have you read or watched anything because it was referenced in the show?

oh just a few things

love's coming of age by edward carpenter

chéri by colette

nausea by jean-paul sartre (louis was reading this in ep6 when lestat and claudia are playing chess while talking about nicki. you can't see the full cover but i went detective mode and figured it out)

madame bovary by gustave flaubert

a moveable feast by ernest hemingway (s2 first look "esurient hearts beating as one, the rumbling beast of the moveable feast")

iolanta (tchaikovsky opera)

don pasquale (donizetti opera)

pelléas et mélisande (debussy opera)

a doll's house (henrik ibsen play)

a streetcar named desire (tennessee williams play) + the movie with marlon brando

i didnt read the full text but i did hunt down and read parts of "de masticatione mortuorum, the chewing dead" that claudia mentions, full title "dissertatio historico-philosophica de masticatione mortuorum" by philip rohr (1679) (view the original manuscript here + english translation here)

i havent finished all of emily dickinson's poems yet but im getting there! (some of these i had read before ofc but im reading them all in order now)

ive also previously watched nosferatu (and rewatched it for iwtv) and the trimph of the will (NOT rewatching 💀 that was for a film history class) and ive read dante's inferno which louis mentions ("if i was to join dante's wood of the self-murdered...") and i highly recommend it!!! absolute fav

there's also stuff that wasn't directly referenced in the show but the fandom has drawn parallels to, that i've read and watched for that reason.

anne carson's an oresteia (to better understand all the agamemnon iphigenia clytemnestra electra comparisons people make)

giovanni's room by james baldwin

rebecca (1940 film)

theres def more movies but i cant remember lol

and theres some nonfiction books i've yet to finish bc im slow at nonfiction

the vampire: a casebook by alan dundes (cited by writers as s2 inspo! about irl vampire folklore)

black new orleans 1860-1880 by john w. blassingame for historical context

the theatre of fear and horror by mel gordon, on the grand guignol aka the inspiration for theatre des vampires (i did finish this one except for the summaries of all the plays, i decided to skip that there's so many. very engaging read and gives a lot of insight into the some of the bts stuff we've seen about the theatre)

louis's favorite movies from the tale of the the body thief!

la belle et la bête (1946)

the company of wolves (1984)

the dead (1987)

i may be forgetting some stuff. there's also so much more on my list that i mean to get to. a prayer for owen meany by john irving, of "memory is a monster" quote fame is locked and loaded for example

if anyone's interested to hear my thoughts on any of these feel free to ask i would love to talk about it!!!

all this and i've still only read the first 6 of the actual vampire chronicles. and im still procrastinating starting merrick

21. What was your favorite monologue of season one?

HMM the obvious one is louis's confession. ive watched the whole sequence from the funeral to the end of the episode a truly unhealthy number of times. also claudia's coffin monologue

22. Who's your favorite character? Why?

LOUIS. probably because i relate to him so much. instant connection. tricked into loving myself. also like hes literally louis how could i not love him do i need to even explain this

when i started reading the books i didnt care for book louis that much lol but i did become an armand stan. possibly bc i also relate to him im selfish like that i guess. also just his whole backstory and the way it informs everything he does is so fascinating to me. ppl say hes incomprehensible and hes literally not. everything he does makes sense when you consider his life experiences

iwtv ask game

[butchviking]

could u describe your feelings about Cheerard

ogh man. i am like always going off about this 2 people but u put me on the spot like that i get scared. um.

well. first of all she represents freedom 2 me. gerard has clearly always been kind of a feminine dude, "i was a girl to a lot of people growing up" "i have always identified a fair amount with the female gender" "masculinity has always made me feel like it wasnt right for me".. he expressed this 2 some degree w stage looks, w all the makeup & everything, and sure mcr have always had adoring fans but he also very much has always always been called a fag mcr have always all been called fags on the regular people have not always been kind. and hesitant alien era he was clearly going thru a lot and thinking about a lot. and from that angle it just meant the world to see him like. openly crossdress in the public eye for the first time (we know he's crossdressed before but never in the public eye u know?) and look so HAPPY. with his friends who support him. and u could feel the love u could see it u could almost hold it in ur hands. that was true of the whole tour ofc but it made me wail and cry seeing his buddies giving him a hug and everyone cheering and loving and supporting him. as a gnc person who has also gone thru Gender Issues. and the fact that he was doing it all at 45 with grey hairs and wrinkles and sinewy middle-aged-man legs. there is a future u know. there is a future. and theres happiness there. and he just looked like he was having so much fun and not giving a fuck.. again, vibe of the whole tour, but it was so special 2 see him dancing and jumping and twirling..

also. hm. hard to know how to phrase this one without just copying out a previously written essay. as a woman, who also was once a girl, feminity is something that has often been forced on me. the world has tried to make it a prison for me and i have chewed through the bars kicking and screaming. and over the years ive stubbornly gone very much the other way and eschewed anything that could b considered feminine and viewed all things feminine as evil and as a cage. bc thats what that was to me. but the thing is that not everything deemed feminine is necessarily bad. ive avoided gentleness and vulnerability as much as ive avoided superficial aesthetic markers of femininity like skirts and pink and whatever. (and i have lost some kindness but i was a girl too and you were just like me and i was just like you..) and. hm. you know that thing transmascs sometimes say about looking at transwomen and being like "i forgot that womanhood could be enjoyed i forgot that it isnt the burden to everyone that it was to me"? well obviously i dont agree with that. but as far as feminity rather than womanhood i think thats a fair parallel for how i feel about gerard way. there are things i have run from that i see him enjoy and it makes me see them a different way. and it makes me see that it doesn't have to be a prison and by god i do not have to move myself from one cage to another. i'll never be an aesthetically feminine person it's just not who i am or what i enjoy.. and dresses and skirts are superficial things.. but him doing his silly little twirls in his silly little cheerleader dress is a very visual representation of something more. its very symbolic 2 me. and i'll also never be exceptionally feminine in my behaviours or personality either and that's not a bad thing its who i am and im proud of who i am. sometimes anyway. but. there are traits i could do with letting in. that have been hard for me to let in. he/she (that is gerard/cheerard fjdksk gerard is a he hes a real human man but cheerard is a symbol a concept a character and she's a she to me. sorry i dont make the rules my brain does) is a representation of all of this 2 me.

all of this 2 say gender is fake and u can do what u want and u just have to be yourself and be what u want 2 be and be what makes u happy and what brings love and joy. and u dont have to sit in a hole about it u dont have 2 write emily or drugstore perfume u dont have to wish u could bring her back from the dead or whatever. sometimes u just gotta wear a silly little cheerleader dress and go have fun. metaphor but also very real 2 me i WILL be buying a custom made cheerard dress and it will probably b the only dress i'll ever wear in my adult life fjfkkdj

[stellawolfearts]

On the one hand a lot of Tripitaka’s behavior is just a product of the time he’s meant to take place in (600’s) and probably the time he was written in (1500’s-ish I think?) and viewing his behavior through that lense makes some (not all, we’ll get to that) of his behaviors make sense.

On the OTHER HAND

Ok, let’s just be real for a second. Tripitaka was in a nightmare situation where basically everything he encountered wanted to kill/eat/rape him. And trauma… can do very ugly things to a person.

So he’s basically powerless, and he’s got all these emotions, fear and anger and a million other things, building up inside and they need an outlet. He certainly can’t take things out on Bajie or Wujing. Wujing would probably rip his throat out and make a friendship bracelet out of it, and Bajie would… probably leave. He was barely staying with them as is and if Tripitaka gave him a reason he’d leave. I think Tripitaka did care about them… at least enough that he didn’t want to be without them.

So that leaves Wukong. Who basically came with a “Take my frustrations out” button. He had power of Wukong. He could make him just as helpless as he always was. Better yet, Wukong keeps forgiving him. Always comes back to help him. No matter how many times Tripitaka burns him, he comes back to the fire. Who else would do that? God knows the other two wouldn’t.

For the record, I don’t think it was this calculated, I’m just pointing the circumstances.

TLDR: Tripitaka’s behavior viewed through the cycle of abuse makes his actions make a lot more sense. Not saying his behavior isn’t fucked up, just the REASONS for the fucked up behavior.

god i love analyzations of character dynamics, especially the fucked up ones cause theres SO MUCH here.

wow you went off insanity/pos

like....yeah. YEAH. its so.wqdefsgrdfhtgjyj

there are multiple factors to what happened on the journey. so many things that came togethor that made everything worse for wukong. she couldnt catch a break.

to be real for a sec the reason trip freaks me out and why i very much dislike the realistic and not sugar-coated version (as a person) of him is bc of my own experiences. i wont go into detail and it wasnt ofc as bad at what trip did but,,,,yeahANYWAYS

when\ people have power over someone it can go two ways. help or abuse.

and when it ends up as abuse, just,,,man.

like on one hand i can see Wukong needing to go on the journey to learn morals and right from wrong (refer to this)

but then heaven repeatedly fucked him over and ended up torturing him for like 50 DAYS STRAIGHT.

then the mountain for 500 years.

all to be put in trips hands and abused for another 20.

man.......

its freaky because its also realistic.

from what ive interpreted from the story its a case of. treat them like shit and then offer a sliver of compassion and remind them theyre nothing without you they theyll always come crawling back no matter what you do,

and

maan

MAN

crying

[ms-all-sunday]

So I'm playing DIE with a couple of mutual friends and some of my childhood friends and im playing essentially pudding if she was a real girl who was a fan of one piece and a sanji fangirl and also playing her axe (who is essentially how she sees sanji from the perspective of him as her favourite character.) and ofc pudding translates extremely well into this format (people dont know what DIE is but the game im playing is essentially pick a character whos a fan of something and then they get inserted into that world. its all very self indulgent) and i love rping as her. and i also love the fact i get to rp as essentially an out of character on purpose version of sanji (not TOO out of character but moreso how someone who really likes him would view him so not ignoring his flaws but softening them a lot and really hammering home his good traits) and its really fun ive never rped sanji before.

its got me thinking about the fact there are two ways to misinterpret sanji.

1. you are charlotte pudding and you love him and so the flaws bounce off of you hard and sometimes the flaws are part of the charm the tone is not dismissive but more just purely admiring of the flaws which arent the focus to you. inherently to YOU sanji is cool because he is a little faggot its not in spite of him being a little faggot.

2. you are a cishet guy and you hate sanji and want him to be an alpha dudebro because liking women is emasculating

exposing myself as 1. not as hard as im making charlotte misinterpret him, but i am one of those people who thinks sanji says "dear". theres a very specific vibe for people who think sanji says dear.

[bizarrescribblez]

👯‍♂️, 💘, and 💞? Give us the deets :3

AAAAAAA HI RUBY IM SO. LATE TO ANSWERING THESE OHMYGOSH 😭 I’ve had a few busy mornings so I’ve been tired and end up forgetting I had these BUT NOW I WILL FINALLY ANSWER AND TYSM FOR SENDING 🥺💗

👯‍♂️: What canon character are you most similar to?

I feel like to anybody who has watched the show this answer might be very obvious, but I feel like I’m a lot like Toki! :) ofc because of his optimistic attitude and his whimsical nature, but he also tends to say the most out of pocket shit ever and I’ve been caught by friends doing the same thing too IFJSN SO I’D SAY WE’RE VERY SIMILAR and to anybody who’s never seen him here he is!! My best friend!! We collect plushies together!!

💘: Why would people love your ship? Why would people dislike your ship? How might it start debates?

Omg you know well people would dislike my ships because it would get in the way of their ships JDBSJSNSN THE FANDOM FIGHTS WOULD BE SO CRAZY. I think mainly with my ship with Skwisgaar that fans would be annoyed that his trait of being the “sex god” would be gone once we’re together. Same with Nathan expect fans (mainly the older ones) would be mad Nathan would be more softer/domestic like once we get together. I CAN SERIOUSLY GO OFF ABOUT IT but those are my main points. Although I think my ship with Murderface would prob have the most love since it’d give him more development @ his insecurities/how he views himself..

💞: Aside from with your f/o, who else would you commonly be shipped with? Why?

Omg the way these technically are all side ships/established canon ex relationships in my head but it’s too embarrasing to get into BUT. The drama factor of all of these is insane. Ofc Seth. Rolls my eyes. HE’S AN F/O but people would ship it for that good old ‘lovers to enemies to what is their deal’ type beat to it! And ofc theres dethklok minute host (the name i gave him is marc tackett in case you’re confused why i call him marc) with the drama of one sided love (the love is on his end poor guy..) and ofc theres Rikki Kixx and Twinkletits.. I just think they are cutie patooties and people would be intrigued by the mystery of our romance tbh since for Rikki he’s only in one episode and with Twinkletits there would be a lot of awkward silence in scenes with us in the same room OK IM DONE RAMBLING HERES WHAT THESE GOOBS LOOK LIKE cuz i love showing the boys off 😔

oh yeah i feel like people would also ship me with knubbler too since I feel like we’d have a lot of side plot moments together and he helps me a lot with recording and such JFJDJD plus it makes sense since he is blonde like skwisgaar (and marc but he’s totally bleached blonde).. can i get five more of these little blonde bitches..

[euyrdice]

hi !!! im happy to see ur response n dw about taking ur time school has just started for me too so i dont anticipate being too free myself!! btw i loved ur izuki hes very cute regardless ^O^ im gonna reply kinda out of order hope its ok!! also dw at all i feel ur personally very insightful too n as for writing u shdnt avoid ur personal taste n opinions !!

i think since u know what direction u want u shd definitely lean into this angle of having a morally grey villain or someone who portrays them as such or may not even be aware of either extent or their morality! either ways its a rlly good thing to know what u want and how u want to express ideas!! ^W^ no matter what type of writing clarity is important

also mm yea personally i dont read a lot of stories w villains i realised? i like tokusatsu where theres a lot clearer good vs bad but i havent watched a lot of the recent entries w more moral ambiguity so i couldnt offer much on a personal front. i guess i like them because theyre evil n nasty n interesting sometimes n like also i like magneto too!! :D i find i pesonally agree w his ideas but i also think how different writers portray magneto, his beliefs, background and try to skew them rlly reflects interestingly on how they view the ideas he represents, just off topic but neat stuff.

although i do think yea in writing n commentary villains can serve actually a rlly important role in reflecting peoples opinions, biases ect. back on them ah but thats getting off topic

in response about the enemies to friendsish thing actually i encountered the same issue!!! :DDD albeit it was cough a knb ship (i dont think anyone knows what it is) so if i may offer my personal insight i think having obv similarities always works. for me i found my two characters were more similar than theyd liked to admit but when in their usual environments surrounded by their peers they were super unlikely to interact so i put them in a different environment! sometimes what u need is smth to kickstart their interest in each other! an encounter that exposes smth worth talking about. like for me the more villainous character realises the more "heroic" character is actually more than a boring farce n finds an opportunity to corrupt him n the heroic character wants to resist this but himself returns because of the villains intelligence n their similar points. it leads them to enter a sort of cat n mouse game into each others minds. but thats cuz my characters i was working w were more intellectual

BUTTT the gist is basically ur allowed to do a little deus ex machina or have smth thats out of their control give them the opportunity to choose to interact n stuff. not all the time ofc important advancements n influence shd be made frm autonomous actions of the characters but a little coincidence never hurts!

ive briefly dipped my toes in writing before but ive never had enough clarity to write anything good tbh!! but i do like helping others edit if i can!!

anyways it means so much that i can give u something to chew on tbh!! ^w^ ur inquisitive nature is lovely! also yes itll always be okay to pop in !!

hi lab!!!! how r u!!!! thank u for this reply!!!! 

i for sure get that about liking clearer bad/evil characters!! i really can’t think of any i also don’t read a lot of villain stories i realize! but for knb hanamiya is so hard for me to look away from he’s so funny and i really wanna know why he’s the way he is dhjdshfj. magneto!!!! love that ur a comic fan!!!!! my last url was eriklehnsherrgf hes the best heh. ooo that’s really interesting about different ways writers portray him and his beliefs representing their own views… i also think our writing and thoughts on characters and which we’re drawn to and which we dislike can reflect a lot, especially biases. i really like talking about it; why myself and others are drawn to certain characters and dislike others… what do we find in them and what are we looking for. and our own art we create is so often a self-portrait, right?

a knb ship oooooo! are you writing a fic for them? so u ARE a writer!!!!! or a future writer!!! fdjfdfgjh but that sounds so cool lab! i really like the detail about how in their usual environments w friends they’re unlikely to interact despite being quite similar… i don’t know how to articulate it but i really find this interesting in fiction/media… two people who could have a close relationship if they were just to go outside of their usual environment, and the significant role being surrounded by their peers in said environment plays. and then something pushes them out of the familiar, often by force, and our story begins, right? i love the “an encounter that exposes something worth talking about” line, so lovely. something worth talking about!

much of it is about change, and putting your characters in situations that force change, and thus character development? it’ll be fun to see what the new situation/environment brings out in your characters, what they bring out in one another when they’re finally able to interact alone. i wonder if there are things only the other person can bring out in themselves. 

i love characters seeing one another in a different light, realizing there's more to the person they disliked then originally thought. ESPECIALLY when its the more villainous character seeing something that draws them into their heroic counterpart. OO THE OPPORTUNITY TO CORRUPT HIM im getting nervous nd excited!! so theres a unignorable interest there on the villianous characters side!! i wonder what makes them want to corrupt the “heroic” character!! a more sort of twisted, self-interested and self-indulgent desire to bring out something darker in them or more genuine interest in the heroic character.. or both or something else?… hm!!!!

wait wait is one of them hanamiya? the intelligence and want to corrupt part made me think of him. teppei and hanamiya? dfjhjsdf anyways u dont need to tell me anything this just sounds so so cool and i love how deeply and intentionally you’ve thought about their relationship. thank you for sharing your plans with me, really wonderful and im excited for how it comes along!!!!

yeah!!!! you've given me a lot to think ab!! giving them a little push to interact.....

really love talking with u, i genuinely feel like i learn a lot from you wow. as always, thank you for your thoughts and kind words!!! and thank you for your encouragement ab my work!!! always value your feedback and opinion on things, you’re so very articulate and open-minded. 

i hope u’ve had/have a good day!!!! 🌟💌

[littlx-songbxrd]

I have listened to Eight long enough that it's starting to settle in and I have thoughts...

First of all, it fits Alastair so well. The way he starts to shut everyone out to protect himself and tries so hard to be strong.

I was just a kid who grew up strong enough To pick this armor up And suddenly it fit

This is basically when Alastair had to start taking care of Elias

I won’t let you in, I swore never again I can't afford, no, I refuse to be rejected

This in combination with the recept snippet where Alastair is described as very sensitive to rejection

When I see fragile things, helpless things, broken things I see the familiar

This is really how Alastair views himself, along with truly believing he's a bad person. It's also a lot worse after Elias returns and then dies, I think before then he wasn't doing too bad all things considering but after Elias returned he really returned to the worst of hating himself and blaming himself

I'm standing guard, I'm falling apart And all I want is to trust you

Alastair wants to trust Thomas

I’m all in, palms out, I’m at your mercy now And I'm ready to begin I am strong, I am strong, I am strong enough to let you in

I hope this happens sometime in Chain of Thorns

HI SORRY IM LATE

I over booked myself this week and have been suffering the consequences

It fits Alastair very well. I dont think I've ever been able to listen to the song without falling into some sort of crisis because it just. Thats him. It fits THAT well. Usually when i relate songs to characters its more "oh its good and theres this specific part thats incredibly good"

But here? I cant separate smth that really hits because EVERYTHING hits. I find myself fixiating on a specific lyric every ones in a while to just sit and stare at it. Im biased ofc the enneagram album is my favorite album ever but its so *good*

All the lyrics you picked are basically perfect and i agree with your descriptions so much.

Personally I've beeb thinking the lyric where it goes "When i see fragile things helpless things broken things. I see the familiar. I was little, I was weak, I was perfect too now im a broken mirror" reminded me a lot of how you wrote Alastair in the maybe a bit earlier parts of Stars *elephant*

"Now you wont see all that I have to loose and all I've lost in the fight to protect it" also reminded me of that scene in chog wirh James where hes saying he has no idea what hes done for his family

"Im shattered porcelain glued back together again. Invinsible like I've never been"

This does fit Alastair but I just personally think this lines gorgeus. I wanted to mention

Im so glad you liked it!!! Also im sorry i cant resist now if you want ofc you can listen to nine which is Thomas song and holy fuck do I have things to say

[darling-i-read-it]

Stay Forever

Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader

Word Count: 3.7k

Warnings: i was legit just writing so theres a lot, season five spoilers, reader was shot and is still dealing with effects from it, suggestive dialogue, criminals obviously, guns, worry of unreciprocated love, thoughts of cheating but no actual cheating, age gap (legal ofc!)

Author’s Note: why is this so long omg I just was writing and this came out. I really actually love it though lol so I hope you guys like it!

Summary: what is a plot. Uh you have liked aaron for a while and this is like, how you get together

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director/creator

(not my gif)

You put your hair up into a ponytail, letting out a gentle sigh. You looked at yourself in the mirror, the bullet proof vest on your chest and a gun at your side. It was a normal view for you. This was the same thing all your coworkers wore, the same thing you wore everyday.

But today it felt wrong. Uncomfortable in all the wrong places. Slightly subdued.

“Are you sure you're okay to go out there?” Garcia asked, walking up behind you. You looked over at her, slightly surprised she was around. You thought she was busy in her computer room, typing away to find the unsub’s final resting place.

“I’m sure,” you said.

“It’s just after everything…” You nodded. “It seems sudden.” You moved your arm around in a circle to show it’s motion. There was a slight sting to it but you had gotten used to the dull pain in your shoulder.

“My arm is fine. Just because I was shot does not mean I can’t go out and protect more people.”

“Yeah but physical health does not equal mental health.”

“I’m fine Garcia. I promise.” She shook her head gently, clearly not believing you. She picked up some things working endlessly with profilers. “Aaron said I was good to go.”

“Yeah and Aaron was the one pretending not to weep when we thought you might die.”

You remembered that night all too well. It was like it was last night. The feeling of the bullet piercing you and then the echo of Spencer’s gunshot through the unsub. Feeling yourself drift in and out of consciousness, hearing the voices of your team members telling you to hold on. Wanting to answer them and not being able to.

“I’m fine. I’m not gonna die anytime soon.”

“Are you ready?” Morgan asked, opening up the door. “Oh hey baby girl. Everything okay in here?”

“Yeah,” you said. “I’m ready.”

===

It was a regular unsub. Nothing particularly memorable. A time crunch, Garcia pulling things together last second. You turned the corner quickly, listening carefully to the silence. The unsub was in this house somewhere. JJ had gone in on the other side of the house. Morgan and Hotch were waiting outside.

You peeked around the corner.

There he was.

Kneeling over a body, weeping quietly. He looked unarmed but with his back turned to you, you couldn’t be sure. You started to breathe quickly. You could do this. You had been doing this for years before you were shot, you could do it again. You were going to save a life, you were going to put the bad guy away.

You took a step forward to turn the corner when someone rushed past you. You jumped in surprise but noticed the back of Aaron’s head instantly.

“Put your hands up,” he said. The unsub jumped, turning around quickly. You walked behind Aaron, your gun up to him as well. You rushed behind him and handcuffed him as Hotch held his gun on him and started to read him his rights. “We’ve got him,” Hotch said into his ear piece.

====

You sat next to Hotch on the plane. JJ was playing Spencer in chess, Emily was napping, Rossi was writing on his laptop and Morgan was having lunch. Everyone was having a quiet conversation amongst each other. You had your book out but you weren’t reading it.

You turned to Hotch.

“I had that guy you know,” you said softly, as to not disturb anyone else in the small vicinity. He turned to you. He had been on his computer writing up the report.

“I know,” he said.

“So why did you jump in? I could have arrested him, or at least made the first move.” He looked at his computer and then back at you. There was a moment of silence as he decided if he was going to give you a half assed answer or not.

“I guess I have a little bit of PTSD on your behalf,” he admitted. You blew air through your nose.

“Yeah right. What’s the real answer Aaron?”

“I’m serious,” he said simply. “I don’t like my team being shot. I should’ve been there to stop it and I’m sorry I wasn’t. Now I’m gonna be there.” You nodded slowly. You had misread that. You thought he didn’t trust you to get it done but clearly he was just worried.

“I didn’t think you had the ability to be worried,” you said slyly.

“Not worried, just cautious.”

“Way to take away from the moment.”

About twenty minutes later Hotch had drifted off. JJ looked up above the chess board and smiled gently to herself.

“Why are you smiling, you’re losing miserably,” Spencer said, moving his chess piece. She nodded her head to where you and Hotch were sitting. Spencer looked over, trying to be subtle but he almost fell out of the seat. You had taken Hotch’s computer and was finishing up his paperwork for him. Hotch was sleeping on your shoulder.

“I didn’t think they liked each other,” Spencer whispered, though his voice was only slightly below regular tone.

“I suspected on Hotch’s side. I wasn’t sure if it was reciprocated, she looked pretty mad at him today for stepping in for her,” JJ mused. “Maybe it’ll get him to lighten up.”

===

“Hotch got in your way because he likes you,” Garcia said, spinning back and forth in her chair. You rolled your eyes, leaning against her desk. You picked up one of her knick knacks. She took it out of your hands and put it back in place.

“I think you’re reading too far into it,” you said.

“You’re quite literally a profiler and yet you can’t see something right in front of you,” she muttered, amazed. She turned her chair so that she was sitting right in front of you. “Hotch needs someone. All he has is this job and his son since Haley died. I think he’s liked you since before she died but he was too good of a person to act on it. He’s not going to make the first move.” You took her knick knack back from her and tossed it in the air, thinking it over. “What, do you not like him?”

You caught it and looked down at her.

“Of course I like him Penelope,” you said gently. “He’s my superior. My boss. My co-worker. My favorite person on this job and he barely pays me a second glance because he’s always focused on the job. I can’t think of one time he might have given a small hint to liking me so forgive me if I’m a little hesitant.”

“Paying you no second glance! Good God you’re all hopeless.” You furrowed your eyebrows. “He does your paperwork. He invites you to Jack’s soccer games. He made sure your desk was closest to his office so that he could see you from the window. He brings you coffee, he’s memorized your order. JJ said he fell asleep on you on the plane ride back today!”

“Am I interrupting something?”

You and Garcia turned your heads over to see Hotch had opened the door.

“No,” you said simply. “Something wrong?”

“No, I’m heading to coach Jack’s soccer team tonight. Do you mind coming? Jack wants to show you his new kick,” Hotch said, slightly embarrassed.

“Yeah of course,” you said smiling. “I’m excited to see his new move. I’ll see you tomorrow Garcia.” You got off her desk and gave her a look. She let out an exasperated sigh.

====

You stood at the sidelines of the soccer field, watching as the little boys did drills. Aaron was standing at the side, watching each of them and giving them gentle encouragement. He had on his game face. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself.

“Y/N!” Jack called. Your eyes went to him. He did a dramatic kick. You clapped.

“Wonderful! Absolutely astonishing!” He gave you a small bow. Aaron rolled his eyes.

“Back in line Jack,” he said, gently pushing him. You and Aaron met eyes and you gave him a thumbs up.

=

“That was amazing Jack!” you said as practice came to an end. Jack ran up to you before Aaron had made it even a quarter of the way.

“I thought you would like it,” he said, looking up at you. You laughed gently, kneeling down to his eye level. You raised your hand and he gave you a high five.

“You’re really giving all those other kids a run for their money,” you told him. “They should be worried.” “I know.” You giggled and shoved him gently. He shoved you back, causing you to lose balance as you squatted and fell over onto the grass. You threw your head back as his face fell. He leaned down and grabbed your hand, trying to pull you up.

“What’s this?” Aaron asked.

“Your son pushed me over! I think I might have a bruise!” “I didn’t mean to!” Jack said, still trying to pull you up.

“She’s still heeling from being shot Jack,” Aaron muttered, more annoyed at himself then his son. He leaned over and grabbed your hand, helping you up. You fell into him with the amount of power he had used. You laughed.

“Where did all that strength come from Hotchner?” you questioned. He rolled his eyes.

“We’re going to get ice cream, you want to join us?” “I would love to.”

=

That night you rubbed your eyes in Aaron’s living room. You had gone straight from the plane to the office to soccer to ice cream and now to Aaron’s. You were about ready to fall asleep.

“Jack is asleep,” Aaron said. You smiled weakly.

“I think it’s about time for Y/N to be asleep,” you muttered, yawning. “Without a doubt I’ll get a text from my boss before 7am.” “He sounds awful,” he joked.

“He’s not too bad.” You rubbed your eyes. There was a comfortable silence in the room as you tried to figure out if you had the courage to say anything. Not tonight. “I should-”

“What were you and Garcia talking about earlier?” Your eyes went wide.

“Nothing. Girl stuff.”

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

“Are you asking as my friend or as my boss?” He was clearly a little frustrated. You couldn’t quite figure out why. Why should he care if you had a boyfriend?

“It affects the job.” “You didn’t care when Garcia got a boyfriend.”

“Garcia isn’t you.”

“What’s so different about me?”

“Goddammit you’re supposed to be my best profiler,” he said, shaking his head. “Why do you think I care?”

The silence hung in the room for a moment. You didn’t know.

“Why do you think I do everything I do, to make sure you're safe? Why do you think I was more devastated when I thought you had died then when my wife died?”

You blinked twice quickly, straightening your back in surprise. His mouth closed immediately, regretting the fact that he had kept speaking.

“I didn’t-I don’t-”

“It’s okay. I didn’t hear anything,” you muttered, still in shock.

“But you did.” He let out a loud sigh and sat down on the couch, putting his head in his hands. You walked over, sitting beside him. You put your hand on his back, rubbing circles into his tense muscles.

“Garcia and I were talking about you,” you whispered. He didn’t look up. “She was trying to tell me to make a move. I told her no because I was too nervous you would turn me down. Not to mention you're my boss and more than a few years my senior. I figure you would look at me like a child,” you whispered. He looked up and met your eyes.

“You’re not a child.”

“I know but like, metaphorically,” you muttered. “That’s not the point of what I just said.” He nodded. He was thinking. Really thinking. The more he thought about it the worse the idea seemed to him. You were right. He was older than you, he was your boss. But he couldn’t help how you had always made him feel.

“I won’t be able to let you be in danger.”

“Apparently you don’t let me be in danger anyway,” you whispered, recalling earlier. He laughed dryly and nodded. You reached over onto his lap and grabbed his hand. He squeezed. You could feel your breath picking up, not really believing what was happening.

“I don’t want you to drive in this weather.” You looked out the window. It was a clear night.

“What weather?”

“This awful rain. Can’t you see it?” You looked out the window again and cracked a small smile.

“You're right. Looks really bad. I might slide right off the road.”

=

You sat in Hotch’s bed. It was an odd feeling. Not a wrong feeling though. It seemed right. You had his laptop open and you were typing, wearing an old shirt of his and some slacks. You were typing furiously as he showered. He had gotten behind while being at soccer practice earlier.

The door opened. You looked up to see Jack walking into the bedroom. Your eyes went wide.

“Jack.”

“Y/N?” You nodded, clearing your throat.

“Can I help you hon? Your dads in the shower, I can go get him.” He shook his head, walking up to the edge of the bed.

“Are you gonna stay with us?”

“Tonight yeah. Like a sleepover,” you explained smiling.

“Can you stay forever?” Your heart swelled up. You weren’t sure how to answer that.

“I can stay however long I’m welcome.” You ruffled his hair. “You should go back to bed, little Hotch.” He fixed his hair. “Goodnight.”

“G’night.” He turned around and scampered back to bed. Hotch came out of the bathroom soon after that, hair wet, shirtless. You kept your eyes on the computer.

“Your son came and said hello,” you said.

“Oh?”

“He wants me to stay forever.” He met eyes and he smiled gently.

“He really likes you. He talks about you all the time. You have that effect on the Hotchner boys. What are you doing?”

“Your paperwork.”

“You really don’t have to do that.”

“I have the energy, let me expel it.”

“I can think of a different way to expel energy,” he said, facing the dresser. You felt yourself flush as your eyes went up to him.

“You get bolder after 11 at night.”

“It’s the long work hours.” He walked over to the bed and laid down beside you under the covers. You looked over at him, trying to ignore how much your heart ached to touch him. It was pulsing in your chest like a bomb ticking. You looked at each other.

“What time do we have to get up tomorrow?” you asked.

“Hopefully not before 7 but I have JJ’s number ready to alert me.” You nodded and turned off his computer. You put it on the bedside table and crawled under the covers, turning off the lamp. You faced each other. It was the closest and most vulnerable either of you had ever been with each other. In the dark you could make out only his most bold features, though your brain put the rest together.

You leaned forward and kissed him, oh so gently. It was like time had stopped for a moment and that very soft kiss was all that was real. You opened your eyes again to his face, a smile on his lips.

“Goodnight,” he said. You smiled back.

“Goodnight.”

====

“You snore,” you said, walking beside him. You had to wear the same pants you had worn yesterday but Hotch had given you a button up that you tucked into your pants. The sleeves were a bit long so you folded them up to your lower arm.

“So do you,” he said, laughing. You had your coffee in hand as you entered the office.

“Well deal with it. Jack told me I had an open invitation.”

“Jack doesn’t know what an open invitation is,” he said, smiling.

“Well he said it. He must be learning good vocabulary in elementary school.” The team watched as you walked Hotch to the stairs, said a few quiet words to each other and then he walked up to his office. You went to your desk nonchalantly, putting your coffee down and getting to work.

“Do we have a meeting soon?” you asked Emily who was at the desk beside yours.

“I don’t know why don’t you ask your boyfriend?” she said, eyes wide.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you said, rolling your eyes.

“Hotch buys the same shirts. He has at least 10 of the same pair that he wears with his suits and blazers,” Spencer said. He pointed at you. “That’s one of them.”

“Can you guys mind your own business?” you said, flustered. Just as quick as Hotch had gone upstairs he started to come downstairs. He stood behind your chair.

“Garcia has something for us. JJ can you gather the files?” She nodded. Hotch looked down at you and then fixed the collar of your shirt.

“Am I wearing it wrong?” you asked slyly.

“Your lanyard goes under the collar.” You rolled your eyes and got up to go to the table. You followed the rest of the team in. Garcia was already standing there at the front of the room. She clocked your shirt almost immediately. She pointed at her shirt and then at you. You rolled your eyes as you sat at the front beside her. She kneeled down.

“Do you have something to tell me?”

“I do not.”

“Are you sure?” she asked.

“I am sure.”

====

The plane had a different feel to it, Spencer noticed. He couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was. Everything was technically the same. The same people, the same plane, a different destination which was the same as always. Everyone was looking through the file, bouncing ideas off each other, as usual.

There was a small silence as everyone went to examine the papers alone in their own heads. You and Hotch sat across from each other. That was it, Spencer noticed. You usually sat next to each other. Everyone else was so focused on the papers that he had a chance to look over at the two of you for an extended amount of time.

Your foot was bouncing, your leg over the other. After a moment, Hotch moved his foot to touch your bouncing one, causing you to stop. You looked up at him, questioning. He gave you a look. Then you both looked back down.

Spencer had zero idea what just happened. There was a conversation that just happened but he didn’t know what was said in the slightest.

Your phone beeped. You picked it up.

“Heya.”

“I have to know, I can’t wait,” Garcia said on the other end. You stood up. As you walked past Hotch you put your hand on his shoulder. That was it and yet Spencer thought it was so telling.

You left Spencer's eyesight in the bathroom.

“I slept over but nothing happened,” you explained.

“Nothing?!”

“We kissed. But nothing else!”

“A kiss!” You could hear Garcia clapping. You rolled your eyes. “I was right. I told you!”

“Yeah yeah.” You smiled to yourself. “It was really nice.”

“I bet. You guys are destined. Fate.”

“I thought you were looking for that one suspect, Richard Knox or something.”

“Oh I am, I just needed to hear that first. Bye bye.” She hung up the phone. Your phone rang again. You looked down at Hotch’s name, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. You picked it up and put it to your ear.

“Yes?” “I’m in the cockpit.”

“I’m in the bathroom. That’s like the only two places on this plane.”

“In exactly two minutes I want you to unlock the bathroom door.”

“Aaron we’re on a plane of profilers, I think they can guess what me unlocking the bathroom door might mean.” He paused. His voice got very quiet.

“I need to kiss you.”

“The doors unlocked now.”

You stood in the cramped bathroom, looking at yourself in the mirror. The bathroom door swung open and he stepped inside. There was no room for the both of you but then his lips were on yours and it was all better. You almost fell over through the door but he had you steady.

You breathed his breath. You felt him, closer than he had ever been before.

In the main part of the plane the rest of the team was being very quiet.

“I wish I could say I saw it coming,” Emily mused. Morgan had his ear to the wall.

“I only guessed when she got shot. I was more worried for Hotch than her,” Rossi said.

“I appreciate the fact that he went to the cockpit first,” JJ said, laughing.

“Shh!” Morgan said, raising his finger. He closed his eyes, focusing.

The bathroom door opened and you practically fell out. Morgan quickly sat back down. You fixed your hair and then your shirt.

You walked back to your seat, quickly starting to flip through the papers again. Aaron was close behind you, sitting down across from you.

“Would you like us to pretend you didn’t have a quickie in the bathroom?” Rossi questioned.

“We didn’t have a quickie,” Hotch said, taking a paper from your file.

“If we had a quickie we would’ve been in there longer,” you concluded.

Criminal Minds Tag List: @elisaa-shelby, @lov3vivian, @alexxavicry, @valentina-luvs-u

[cainightfics]

me reading the most complete, understanding, and thorough characterization of npd while reading ur fic: who tf is telling this guy this shit

LITERALLY HOW r u so good at portraying tyrell it seriously kills me. every five seconds im just screaming at my phone "HOW DO THEY KNOW THAT. WHO TOLD THEM"

thank you! i just try to be as accurate to canon as i can be, without sacrificing anything just to make the ship work or the slow burn go faster. i think tyrell is a bit harder to get right than elliot (we see the whole series through elliots perspective and have access to his thoughts, so hes more familiar) so im happy you think im doing something right, lol.

if you want a little bit of Cainight Lore i was diagnosed with a personality disorder about a year ago (szpd) after i was forced to attend government mandated therapy due to numerous suicide attempts lol. its kind of ironic that i love reading/writing fanfiction so much because irl i have absolutely no interest in romance. i hate therapy and am ambivalent toward psychiatry in general, so im really resistant to accepting this diagnosis, even tho i do have all of the symptoms. im not really in the business of trying to diagnose characters, but on the most basic level, i do understand the minimal diagnostic criteria for PDs just from personal experience. i think the identity issues tyrell faces definitely qualify (and ofc are literary parallels to elliots own identity issues, caused by did).

interestingly tho despite the fact that theyre pretty toxic for each other, i think their respective mental problems kind of balance each other out, in a way. theres a lot of fanworks out there that try to diminish tyrells arrogance, for example, or make elliot more outwardly affectionate, but i just dont think thats realistic. i think the characters are way more interesting with their flaws preserved. i also dont take the standard view that people with personality disorders (esp cluster b) are inherently evil or anything, which is the sentiment i think most people have. on a personal level, i actually really dont care about antisocial traits, although most people do. i wont get too much into my personal life because thats not really the point, but ive known lots of people who probably qualify for a cluster b diagnosis, and i find i often get along better with them than “regular” people.

thanks again for your nice comment, im happy youre enjoying the fic so far!

[probably-haven]

after binge reading i have come to a new revelation: I’m not a fan of most Xiaoven fanfics

Don’t get me wrong, I love the ship and its one of my favorite to think about.... but most of the fanfiction for the ship just- doesn’t sit right with me for a number of reasons. 

Disclaimer: these are personal opinions from my own taste and are in no way an attack against any authors out there, because frankly fanfic authors are great and not like i could do better lol. As these are personal opinions, I acknowledge here and now that a number of people disagree and that they are under no obligation to change their opinions in any way as it is not and never will be my intention to tell others what they should be thinking That said- read at your own risk if you want- meh, anyway-

time to share some opinions that have been on my mind lately

The biggest reason.... is how they handle Xiao. And I don’t even mean mischaracterization because Xiao is such a complex and yet simultaneously simple character that as long as you’re somewhere in the range of “Xiao vibes” it’s really hard to write him out of character because of his complexities. What I mean is something that i actually completely agree with as being accurate to his character. In nearly every single fanfic I’ve seen, there is some element of idolization that Xiao has for Venti, or for the sake of reference, Barbatos. He tends to think himself beneath Barbatos and/or indebted to him, whether that be because he’s an archon, because he saved him, or simply because of Xiao’s tendency to dehumanize(yes i see the irony in that word usage) himself.  This by itself isn’t an issue but its often how this trait of his is treated.

Imma just list a few ways I’ve seen this be handled within Xiaoven fics. - It isn’t handled, it’s just there and accepted as a part of who he is in the story - It isn’t handled but his trait is treated as source of humor within the story - Venti(and others) roll with it (finding humor in it, just cant change it, encouraging it, making jokes about it, etc.) - Venti takes advantage of it(whether accidentally or purposely) - it’s actually addressed(by Venti or someone else or the narration- can go a number of ways, but just- even a brief reference to the fact that its not a good mindset fits in here) - savior!Venti(Where venti disagrees with it but the way it’s written gives off “god among mortals” vibes- like he’s just being humble and truly is above him in reality) - its the focus of the story  - not directly addressed but shown to be destructive.  - they chose not to not include this in the story’s characterization of Xiao(just saying that this is valid ahead of time) Theres others but i have a lot already.  Note that I tend to read more ‘serious-toned’(idk if that makes sense) fics so that may skew my perception

Now there’s a few that i have issues with on their own- both instances of it not being handled, Venti(and others) rolling with it, Venti takes advantage of it(purposely(and without good intent)), and savior!Venti. Xiao not only has this trait, but he is unfamiliar with what is normal in relationships or emotions as a result of isolation and inexperience. He is also either not aware of or not concerned with what is considered strictly “healthy.” Combining these makes for a rather dangerous combination and just accepting it as “oh he’s just like that, it’s who he is” or making it out to be something funny- It’s not wrong or bad by any means necessarily, and I could still possibly enjoy it to an extent depending on a series of different factors, but its- not as often.  Even in the case where I do enjoy reading it however, I would still feel uncomfortable sharing it with or recommending it to others because in the first instance it feels like normalizing a destructive and dangerous mindset, and in the second case it does the same while simultaneously making a joke of it. It’s the same deal with Venti or other characters rolling with it, but that’s probably gonna be mentioned later too. Not to say that this is a “wrong” way to handle it, that it makes the fic bad, or that authors even are normalizing anything by doing so, just that in my specific instance- not a fan. 

I’ll get to the others when i talk more about Venti, but for now: It’s the focus of the story. I think I saw like... 2? where the story was like- focused on this and why its a problem which- power to them, address those real world problems like a boss- but also i wouldn’t actively seek it out or anything- like, good job, but doing so just leaves it open neutrally for other factors to decide how good a story i think it is. 

not directly addressed but shown to be destructive. You’d think i wouldn’t like this- but frankly in fanfiction not everyone wants to address every character flaw verbally because it can through off story, narration, dialogue, and general flow to do so. This can be with an event, an action, a dialogue, a mere comment, making it actually fit into the it’s actually addressed category except that its- subtle enough to make its own category. plus i live for show not tell- in everything- its a thing. im- very much a fan of when the fics do this but the subtlety is easy to miss and its not common so- 

It’s actually adressed- doesnt have to be a lot- just mention anywhere or imply anywhere that maybe idolizing someone as a god and savior and being in a relationship with them while having little knowledge of standards, emotions, relationships, or healthy behaviors in general- maybe isnt the smartest idea in the word. (”Call me Venti, not Barbatos” by itself is not enough to fit in this category tho as a note)

-

Now lets talk about Venti...

uh.... those who have followed me for awhile will probably already know this but... I have a lot of opinions on Venti and a pretty- “niche(?)” perception of his characterization that isn’t shared by a lot of others- so I don’t actually read as much Venti fanfic in general as you might expect because I often end up disagreeing with how writers portray him, which again, in no way is their characterization wrong, but- “their perceived truth” conflicts with “my perceived truth” and by extent so does the characterization, though neither is any more correct than the other from an objective point of view, if that makes sense... but anyways now that that’s said, moving on before this becomes a philosophy lecture, as fun as that would be for me.  I’ll try to keep my “perceived truth” out of this for the first bit. 

Venti’s response to this: 

He rolls with it: this depends on the mood of the fanfiction. If they dont put a lot of stress on that trait of Xiao’s it totally fine but if the trait seems to be a major part of Xiao’s character, it seems like normalization once more. (more on this later)

he takes advantage of it purposely: if its an AU or something and Venti’s like a villain(i saw a few) then- villain venti isnt my cup of tea but i have no qualms. If they don’t portray Venti in a negative light while having him take advantage however that’s a bit uncomfortable to read for me because it feels like normalizing taking advantage of that mindset as well as the mindset itself. However, i did see a number of instances of Venti using it as leverage for like- self care- which i definitely have no qualms. Xiao: [insert probably destructive idolizing statement about being indebt] Venti: How bout you pay me back by actually sleeping for once smh or other variations are okay and depending on the vibe are actually a really fun dynamic as long as it doesnt turn into romanticizing or normalizing it, y’know?

Venti accidentally taking advantage of it.... I love angst- and in most of these theres a sense of guilt when he realizes- and i just think thats a lovely way of addressing the dangers of such a mindset for both sides. As long as it doesn’t keep repeating to the point of romanticization its totally cool to read in my eyes(not irl ofc). If Venti never realizes he accidentally took or is taking advantage it feels a bit like normalization, and if he does but just- doesn’t care thats- a rip.

savior!Venti...... i- i hate. the story giving off vibes that Xiao’s mindset is technically correct while Venti oh so humbly tells him to treat him as an equal like the wonderful and charitable person he is.... i just- no. of course thats over dramatizing it- I think the main thing that gives it this vibe is when Venti doesn’t seem either concerned, surprised, uncomfortable, or otherwise have a negative feeling towards Xiao’s mindset. Just- it makes the whole thing weird in my eyes when Venti doesnt really seem to have his own reason to oppose the mindset idk- 

-

fact time!

Venti is the god of freedom. His backstory is freeing Mondstadt from a god’s tyrannical reign. His origin is a windsprite, just another breeze bringing changes for the better. His form is a nameless boy who played an instrument and then died, thus failing at his only dream and only ever accomplishing anything because of the help of others. He slept for a thousand years after the archon war to avoid putting Mond under the rule of yet another tyrannical god. He only even became a god because Andrius chose to let him. He wouldn’t have even had that chance if the nameless bard had survived, he’d remain just another wind while his friend ascended to godhood. Venti sacrifices his own power for his people’s freedom. 

now that I’ve laid out a number of canon facts, time for opinions:

Venti has little to no desire to be seen as a god. He thrives in, comes from, and emphasizes a lack of superiority in quite nearly everything. The first Ragnvindir, who canonically turned his back on Venti after Decarabian’s fall, likely did so because one- he anticipated power would corrupt and Venti would soon become just another tyrannical god, two- he suspected Venti used the nameless bard in an attempt to rise to godhood, or three- idk insert other possibilities to acknowledge again that i could totally be wrong.

Look me in the eyes and tell me Venti wouldnt trade godhood for his friend in an instant. His godhood was only granted to him because his friend died and could easily serve to constantly remind him of what could have been and what he lost. Venti takes no enjoyment from being seen as superior and in my opinion, I feel that it could actually make him largely uncomfortable when his divinity and abilities as an archon get involved-

also self promotion for my favorite posts- check out #archon war era venti if thats interesting to you

so anyway Venti rolling with it or making jokes about it just doesn’t sit right with me.- 

-

Okay! enough talking about that mindset!

idk- i have... a few/lot of other gripes and stuff or just things that kinda throw off the vibe for me but that’s the main one plus my general personal pickiness when it come to Venti fanfics- but this has gotten long enough already- 

idk i just felt like rambling about it and i haven’t done a long post in a while so-

again, I love the ship and its actually one of my favorites- just the fanfic isnt my thing..... that doesn’t mean i don’t still love it and come up with a whole ton of brainrot and ideas on it tho lmao

[ackermans-freedom-inc]

Who do you think your moots could pull and why?

Alright lets go I have...so many moots and if I forgot u its 300% my bad pls come hit me upside the head, also im bad at these bc I honestly just push my favourite characters onto ppl oops but long assss list below the cut - I love u all

@cafedanslanuit: ok I dont know why, but porco for u my friend. Maybe it’s bc the last fic I read from u was the porco and zeke one? but damn. porco. for sure. 

@kmorgzz: MY LIL CINNMON BUN. ok NOT GON LET MYSELF BE SWAYED by ur porco pfp - but i...kuroo. DO U EVEN LIKE HIM?? but I dunno why I CAN SEE IT. ready to fite u but also love cuddles soft friend and that WALL of a man? 

@flamingblinglove: U ALREADY KNOW 姐姐 U ALREADY KNOW. OFC U COULD PULL UR FAV flaming boi!!! I love u very much and love him for u! 

@alto-march-of-death: AL. AL AL AL AL AL AL AL AL. DO I NEED TO SAY IT. SUGA. FKIN. SUGA. I dont even need to - SUGA. also reiner. But mostly SUGA. 

@onwiings: LEN. we havent really chatted before so im sorry if this is real random but for some reason....connie? I DONT KNOW WHY BUT CONNIE FOR SURE. 

@boston-bakedbeans: I JUST GET JEAN VIBES. U COULD OUT SNARK HIM ANY DAY 

@daddyjackfrost: HANA MY SWEET QUEEN OF MAKING ME CRY OVER STUPID VBALL BOYS. I have so many. BUT L? L FOR SURE. u are an intellectual and he would be all :0 while eating his damn cake. ALSO. Bo-bokuto? he could handle ur energy and I would love to see it. 

@bellbee: armin vibes. You're just so dang sweet? I think it would be such a good match 

@kojinnie: KOJIIIIIN. ZEKE. ZEEEEKKKE. IM SCREAMING THIS. BUT LIKE- NOT THE MEAN EVIL ZEKE. THE SOFT SWEET ONE WHO WILL BRUSH THE HAIR FROM YOUR FACE AND KISS YOUR FOREHEAD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT ZEKE. 

@onyxoverride: I was going to say zeke?? t he naaaasty kind of zeke where hes just obsessed with u, but totally not influenced by ur latest posts but MICHE. BIG MANS. also for some reason I bet u smell good. but not in a sweet or delicate way?? I bet u smell really good but in a way ppl cant place? so ppl always ask “what perfume/cologne are you wearing?” 

@peachysimp: MY SWEET MICHI 姐!!!! U DESERVE ALL THE LOVE AND CUDDLES IN THE WORLD. im just thinking of a big mans...mmm Reiner? Eren??? no problem for my sweet 姐姐. u can handle em. 

@deludedimagines: SORCHAAAAAA MY LOVE. MY DEAR. Levi for FREAKING SURE. AFTER OUR TALK - YOU DESERVE TO GO KAYAKING AND CANOEING WITH HIM. PLEASE. 

@aotwrites: iane. love of my life lane. pls drink some water I know ur working v hard. ok but why can I imagine a soft af erwin that u could EASILY pull?? like NO problem. he would be best listener and the shoulder rubs? after a long day?? IANE. PLS. 

@plutowrites: PLUTO U KNOW HOW MUCH I FKIN LOVE UR ZEKE SERIES SO IS IT EVE N A QUESTION WHY I THINK YOU COULD GET ZEKE NO PROBLEM?? 

@gojosweets: SWEEETIIE levi for SURE BC HEALING HANDS IS STUCK IN MY HEAD. u could for sure pull a grumpy injured Levi and make his heart go boink 

@hexbestfriend: Sierra my dear. ur other url says it all. but also, a big mans. so....Erwin for sure - I would PAY to see this bc u would have him just so into u and I just...im swooning 

@horseanon--simpforall: RACH. DO I EVEN NEED TO SAY. U WRITE THE BEST CUTE SWEET ZEKE. FOR SURE. AND SUGA. U COULD PULL THEM WITHOUT EVEN FKIN TRYING. I love u TOO much 

@misskasa: love the new url btw tea??? damn. also Eren. EREN. LONG HAIRED MAN BUN BUT NICE NOT PROBLEMATIC EREN. u deserve it all 

@thebubblybakery: MY DEAR. MY DEAAAARRR ur url is way too cute and for SURE. Levi. for SURE NOT A DOUBT IN MY MIND. bake him lil treats and he’ll chop the fingers off anyone who tries to steal em from him 

@yearning-moon: omg my new obsession is ur writing, but u would have no problem pulling our collective fav zhongli. no problem whatsoever im just gone u write him so well I cry every single time.

@lookslikeleese: I MET U THRU SUGA AND I WILL NEVER STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT. suga no problem. ERen. no problem. find u a friend that can do both. thats u. 

@doulcha: another easily Levi pull - honestly if theres anything I learned on this website, its that everyone has big brain and is cute as a damn button and 

@anlian-aishang: MY SWEET DARLING. U COULD HAVE ANYONE. HONESTLY. UR A DAMN INTELLECTUAL, BEAUTIIIIIFUL BEYOND WORDS AND JUST HNG I LVE U SM. LEVI. ERWIN (NO ARGUMENTS I WOULD PAY TO SEE U WITH ERWIN BC WOOOOW HOW SWEET) also u already know how much I love the idea of u with Farlan U COULD HAVE ANYONE U WANT AND U KNOW IT. 

@starstruckkittensweets: another sweET DARLING WHO COULD GET ANYONE SHE WANTED. ABSOLUTELY ANYONE but Levi. Levi FOR DAMN SURE BC HOW COULD I NOT. erwin too? absolutely. 

@unloved-cadillac: CADDY my DEAR is another Levi puller for SURE - I feel like u can match his snarky replies? and it would just be a lot of grEAT banter back and forth and phew 

@katsuhera: MY PENGUIN LOVING FRIEND another Levi lover who could get him with NO problem whatsoever. pls take his grumpy ass to the aquarium 

@therealvalkyrie: my wife my love my DEAREST. I mean we’re already married x4? 5? times?? so I mean u already got me so I think u already won this game. USHI GUSHI FITE ME. also suga. curl up on a nicely upholstered armchair, nice cup of tea, maybe some ice cream? gorgeous view outside, trying to flip pages but its lowkey a pain to do so because suga is doing the same in his seat, but ur arms are stretched out to meet in the space between the two of you, and ur knuckles are brushing 

@rulerofstars: ANGELLLLL u are another eaaaasyyyy Levi pull bc HOW SWEET ARE U 

@acekou: ...honestly anyone u want bc I AM INTIMIDATED - AS I SHOULD BE. and I love that energy for u. ERen??? Levi?? ARMIN??? ERWIN?!?!?? no problem 

@thot-farm: ME. I SEE U IN MY NOTIFS AND I HAVENT SAID HI BEFORE. but ME. U COULD PULL ME NO PROBLEM BC M LOVE U ALREADY. but I mean im no Levi and u could pull him no problem too dearie (; 

@xxdragonwriterxx: omfg LEVI LEVI LEVI LEVI LEVI!!! UR FICS ARE SO DAMN AMAZING AND THE IDEAS ARE AMAZING AND THE PLOT AND EVERYTHING and ur also so sweet?? LEVI. FOR. LIFE. EASILY. NO CONTEST. 

@jean-does-not-have-a-horseface: BIRD. MANS. HAWKS. DO I NEED TO SAY MORE?!?!!?  

@levilaughlove69: kenny. fkn. ackerman. no more words. 

@bluebellhairpin: SEE ABOVE. also Erwin - I know u like that big mans my sweet darling nemo :3 but also BACK THE FK OFF ALL OF U UR DRIFTING WITH ME SO ME. U PULL ME. EVERYONE ELSE CAN BACK THE FK UP

@unadulteratedtreecrusade: BEANBEANBEANBEAN IM THIIIIIIIS close to coming to visit u bc I love u SO DAMN MUCH. but HONESTLY WHO CANT U PULL?? LEVI. DONE. ERWIN. DONE. 

@1252291: N UR URL SAYS IT ALL. LEVI. zeke? BOTH? ANNIE VIBES TOO??? JEAN? im done. 

@babieweeb: another moot I havent interacted too much with 🥺 but ZEEEEEKKKKE 

@itspastellemons: LEYLA LISTEN. me. u got me. u can pull me anytime shh dont tell my bf I LOVE U SM I LOVE U SO DAMN MUCH R U KIDDING!?! but other than me ahem LEVI. LEEEVIIIIII FOR U BC UR SO DAMN SWEET AND HE WOULD MELT AT U. erwin? wrapped around ur finger?? REINER?? MICHE?? I cant even choose for u ur too powerful 

@alrightberries: I think ur on a Nanami binge rn AS U SHOULD BE. so just know that u could have that mans in an instant

@mysteriousmagicx: MY FAV WITCH MOOT WHO HAS THE BEST DAMN FKIN AUS AND THE BIGGEST DANG BRAIN. WHO CAN’T U PULL??? WITCH HANJI. VAMPIRE LEVI. WEREWOLF MICHE. STOP IT U CAN HAVE EM ALL.

@etherealserenity: ERRRREEEEENN I DONT NEED TO SAY ANY MORE. AND U KNOW WHY. 

@cant-spell-slay-without-lay HOW THE FK DID I NOT ADD U EARLIER MY DEAR PLS IM SO SORRY OMFG - but UR LEGIT MS. ACKERMAN HOW COULD U NOT PULL LEVI. case closed. ms ackerman is legit. 

[letthefrogsbe]

remember when I was gonna write that parkner fic?

cool so I've decided I'm gonna, but because I cannot write for SHIT and I hate my writing every time I see it, ill just share my outline of what I have so far. its not coherent. sorry. 

Section one: aunt may dies. It’ll be like “it's been 3 months. 3 months since May was shot. 2 months and 3 weeks since she died.”

Something like that idc. Basically this section will base around peter living tony, because he’s not doing well, and he is only 17- which is not actually old enough to be on your own after something like this. Setting is established, with cameos from dr strange (who tony is dating and lives with (yeah bite me, this is my fanfiction i can make it what i want.) it will be made obvious that this takes place after endgame, which also means that tony is Not going to die. I’m not that mean lmao. The avengers are like largely together, there was not as much death in this as there was in endgame. Whatever. Everyone is very nice to peter because they know that for him its either this or him becoming a ward of the state so like.

Section two: harley gets kicked out. His mom finds out that he’s gay (from gossip sources idk) and kicks harley out. Im not going to write them having a big fight like in the moment, but harley will recount what happened somewhat to tony in this section, and then more to peter later in the story. Gay ppl trauma dump, we know this. Okay anywaysss so harley calls tony literally sobbing and like freezing fucking cold. IM SORRY IM BEING SO MEAN TO THEM I PROMISE THEY'LL GET A HAPPY ENDING. Okay. harley explains how his mom kicked him out. Tony asks why, harley says something like “she didn’t agree with my lifestyle choices” like bitterly. Tony is a good person in this (i know, im really taking some character liberties) and he’s in the mood for collecting strays apparently, so he has happy send over the quinjet. He can’t make it himself bc hes in fucking japan or something for the next few weeks,, but. Yeah! Tony also calls peter, who is presumably in bed and feeling depressed. “Hey pete. How ya feeling? Any better?’ ‘Not really, tony. Sorry.’ ‘you don’t have to be sorry-’ ‘damn tony you sound like my therapist.’ “sorry pete, but i do have something to tell you- you know harley?’ ‘only from what you’ve told me about him, but yea. He was the tennessee garage kid, right?’ ‘i mean. Yes. so- he’s gonna come stay with me for a while too- it might not be permanent but it will probably be a bit. He’s about your age, and he just has no where to go (just like u). He’s not going to stay in your room or anything, but with bruce and thor here, he will be in your apartment area.’ ‘okay tony.. Will i have to talk to him a bunch?’ ‘not if you don’t want to- i already warned him about you, so it should be okay. I wouldn’t worry so much pete- you guys are so similar in a lot of ways that i wanted to introduce you two long before he called me.’ ‘okay tony, i trust you. Thank you again for letting me stay with you :)’ (yeah that kind of got away from me)

Section 3: build up. this is a shorter section. Harley and peter are gonna meet in section 4. This section is harley’s jet ride (with an intuitive happy) and harley’s nerves about how he really isn’t worth this (i mean hes pretty intimidated tony sent a private jet just for him) and happy like reassures him. Hes still insecure though. Peter is also nervous bc what if harley doesn’t like him? What if he doesn’t like harley?? Tony did say they would get along, but peter hasn’t really been himself recently, so who knows? Yeah lots of that. I do want to emphasize though- peter is not completely unhealthily coping. Like he has a therapist and he has been reaching out to ned and mj, but its still an open wound for him. Obviously. He still has a sense of humor though, but its to cover these deep insecurities. Like the first month or so that he was with tony, he was reallllyyyy trying to not get close to him bc he sort of thinks he kills everyone around him. Like logically he knows this isn’t true, but he does really think the that non superheroes that he surrounds himself with are very at risk if they know about his spider-man-ness. The only people who know now are ned and mj (may knew too).

Section 4: the meeting of harley and peter. Keep in mind peter has been living in this apartment/area of stark tower for about 3 months now. He actually moved in while may was in the hospital because he couldn’t stand to be alone in the apartment when he knew why may wasn’t there. And um. Yeah. so peter is like comfortable in this space, basically. Also- the reason theyre in the same apartment is because stark tower was not really created with the idea of housing broken orphans in mind, so it only has a certain amount of residential space. Thor and bruce are currently staying there together (although no one really knows if theyre together, or if theyre just best bros who went through some extreme trauma together and are now inseparable. Hmmm wonder if thats gonna come up later) and theyre using one apartment, and happy lives there with his own apartment, and tony and stephen are currently sharing the penthouse, even though thats not public knowledge. Really only the people close to tony know that he’s dating stephen. So. this leaves just the one other 2 bedroom apartment for peter and harley. It has one bathroom, and the bedrooms are connected by a door but theyre pretty big so like. Theres a kitchen, a living room with a fancy ass tv, and a really pretty view (with a balcony bc <333). May died in march, peter got leave from the school in april, and it is now the middle of june btw. Tony is now peter’s official guardian (he was before may died anyways) and now has sole guardianship over him which he has fully accepted, even though peter and him both know that there are going to be times where he has to go out of town bc he does own a company after all. Times like right now. Harley is pretty nervous that tony isn’t going to be there to greet him and that he is going to have to like introduce himself to peter and everything. Cmon, theres no reason to feel like that, he’s the one intruding after all, he should at least be able to handle himself. (<--- harley’s thoughts). Yeah so theyre insecure super cool. A n y w a y s so peter was stressing about harley as he arrived, and so when harley walked in they were both complete bundles of nerves. Harley walks up but knocks. Peter actually jumps (bc spidey sense okay whatever) and goes to get the door. Oh my god these awkward teenagers i hate them so much (i love them). Peter kinda looks like shit, sorry king. He was a little bit crying earlier, then tony called and he switched into stressed out ball-of-anxiety mode. Distractions are good, its okay. Peter opens the door for harley and they like introduce each other all awkward (again sorry) and peter shows harley where he is staying. Harley doesnt really have muchhhh bc he was kicked out and all. He just has a suitcase full of clothes, his favorite blanket, his favorite stuffed animal (yeah whatever bc ofc he does) and his phone/charger. He sets all his stuff down at once. He thanks peter for letting him stay in his apartment and also said sorry. First thing peter noticed was harley’s accent. Stfu. peter asks why harley’s here- ok. Harleys had a long ass day. Too fucking long. He- he breaks down. He tells peter a lot. About how his mom found out that he was gay, and how she told him never to come back. Yikes. Anyways, this is establishing the beginning of their relationship as friends. Peter is there for him even though he doesn’t know him at all. Peter sees some of himself in harley in this moment, even though he’s not talking about himself yet. Eventually harley does ask about peter, and they really just get to know each other really quick. They have these deep scarring individual traumas, and neither has nearly recovered, but they find comfort in just knowing that theyre not alone in their suffering. At least for now. At least in this moment.

Section 5: the next day. Peter and harley spent that whole night talking about what they were going through. Peter said good night at around 5 am (there were no adults around they can do what they want to) and they both got good sleeps. In peter’s case, one of the first solid nights he’s had in a while. Harley was kept up a little longer after peter left, however, because he just couldn’t shut off his mind. It was really cathartic for him to just lay everything out there and for someone to just accept him. Peter told him he was bi, but he was.. Lucky. He had accepting people in his life. May was accepting. God, harley couldn’t fathom having lost everyone in his life, everyone he ever cared about, and still having the heart to sit and talk with the dumbass anxious gay kid who can’t go home anymore. His problems felt so small compared to peter’s, and all he could do was admire peter’s resilience and how he was seemingly able to bounce back from anything. God, peter was something. He couldn’t wait to get to know him more. With that thought circling in his head, he finally went to sleep at oh shit 6:30 am. Peter woke up around 1. Harley at 2. When harley woke up, peter was watching tv and eating cereal on the couch and he just sat down next to him. No words, just sleepy children being sleepy. They stayed like this for like an hour when someone knocked on their door. Enter stephen strange!!!!!!!!!!! Get excited people. Hes just coming in to check on them bc tony told him to, and he didn’t get the chance last night bc he was _busy_. K so now he’s here and hes awkward and he just wants to make sure these boys r okay bc theyve both been through too much recently, and it would be just the cherry on top if they didn’t get along. Him and harley had never actually met before so he like introduced himself and all that. Offered like if they needed anything he was there, and its only gonna be a few days until tony gets back (did i say a week earlier? Im retconning that bc i cannot find it in my writing so it is now retconned). Peter and harley just have to sort of explain to dr strange that theyre getting along gREAT and there is no need for concern….. And peter was even thinking about showing harley around the city a bit that night (something he had not yet told harley, but wanted to make it seem like he was doing well and not acting too depressed in front of Dr. Strange) so dr strange is like yeah !!!!!! do that, that sounds super fun petey !!!!!! and so now they have evening plans

ok ps I wrote this like 2 weeks ago and completely forgot I posted something on Tumblr about this fic idea, and so this is literally just how I talk to myself. was not gonna ever post this but then I decided to because I'm bored. there are more sections but I'm not gonna post them rn because this post is really fucking long already!!!!