#these are all from 2016 which. is the year they graduated high school AND

[raiiny-bay]

some photos from the boys' teen years

[sunflower-lilac42]

𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄 | 𝘲𝘩43 ♔

➪ summary: follow quinn and y/n through their journey of going from best friends to lovers

➪ warnings: reader has a shitty day, mentions of parents fighting, hate comments, that's all i think?

➪ word count: 5.1k

➪ file type: song based fic - reupload

➪ sunny's notes: i forgot how much this tugs at my heart. i'm sorry this took a little longer than i hoped it would but it's finally out again. i hope you guys enjoy it again - blog maintenance is happening tomorrow if i can get my computer to work :)

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i'm like the water when your ship rolled in that night rough on the surface but you cut through like a knife 

˚₊· senior year of high school (2016-2017)

She was having a tough time, school, finals, graduation, work, everything and anything that she did seemed like it was ganging up on her. She couldn’t pinpoint the exact reason for her stress, but there were many things she could blame it on. On top of it, her parents had been fighting nonstop for the past month. It wasn’t like they hadn’t before but this time it was worse because she felt like she was the cause of it.

Quinn had invited her over for some dinner, hoping to at least relieve some of the stress from his best friend’s shoulders. When she arrived he could see the stress on her face, she looked as if she didn’t want to come in the first place. 

He stepped aside and let the girl in, ���Hey, y/n/n.”

“Hey Quinner,” She gave him a tired smile. 

“You okay?” 

“Yeah, just tired.” She ran a hand through her hair before following Quinn to his room, saying hi to Ellen on the way. Ellen looked at the girl strangely, “Hi, y/n.”

“Hi, Mrs. Hughes.”

“How many times do I have to tell you to call me Ellen, hon.” She pressed a kiss to her head, “Are you okay? You look-”

Bad? Drained? Stressed? Annoyed? Tired? All of the above? Is what she wanted to say, but didn’t, “I’m just a little tired right now.” Ellen nodded but looked unconvinced, shooting her oldest a look who shook his head.

He lightly took the girl’s arm and took her to his room, offering her to sit on his bed which she took gratefully. She looked around his room and at the posters on his wall before looking over at where he now sat at his desk. He was already looking at her with a small smile on his face, concern still lingering in his eyes.

The two stared at each other for a moment before a knock was heard on the door, “Hi.”

The two looked over to see his brothers standing there, “Hi Jack, Luke.”

Quinn didn’t reciprocate his best friend’s kindness, “What do you two want?”

“We just wanted to give y/n this.” Luke pulled out one of his bear stuffed animals from behind his back, “You looked sad.” Jack stood there, slightly out of place, mostly because this was Luke’s idea instead of his, but he liked y/n enough to go with him.

“Awe, thanks, you guys.” Tears made their way to the corners of her eyes but she refused to let them fall in front of the two. 

Noticing her expression, Jack waved goodbye and dragged the eighth grader behind him. Y/n held the bear in her lap, arms wrapping around it tightly as she tried not to think of the events that happened before she got here. 

“Y/n/n? Are you sure you're okay, because if not-” Quinn’s overwhelming concern for her made the tears bubble over in her eyes and a sob ripped from her throat, “I can’t do it anymore, Quinny.” 

Quinn was quick to get up from his desk chair and stumble over to his bed to wrap the girl in a hug. He knew he didn’t have to do anything but hold her tight as she dug her head into his chest, the stuffed animal still clutched tightly to her chest. 

It took her about ten minutes to calm down, tear after tear, and for her it felt like it would never stop. Quinn did what he always did and waited for her to stop so he, or she, could talk about it. He knew if he tried to talk to her while she was crying, she wouldn’t listen, nothing got through to her when she was crying this hard. 

When she pulled away to wipe away her tear-stained face, Quinn opened his mouth to talk, “You know you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but you can, I’ll always listen.” He reached his hand out to wipe away one tear that she missed, one blackened by her mascara, leaving a trail of the makeup it held behind it. 

She held a weak smile on her face at the warmth his hand brought to her cheek and looked at him, “Just finals and other shit like that, the usual. Plus, my parents were fighting again, I think that was my final straw.”

Quinn nodded his head, recognizing the tone in her voice that said she didn’t want to talk. Her face looked more tired after crying and he sighed, scooting back to rest his back against the headboard. Y/n looked at him confusedly but smiled when he opened his arms. She was quick to lay against his front, laying her head on his chest once more, still holding the bear in her grasp. 

Ellen walked by twenty minutes later to tell them that dinner was ready, but when she peaked into her son’s room and saw both of them with their eyes closed she smiled, closed the door, and walked away telling the rest of the family to be quiet as they slept. 

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

and if it was an open-shut case i never would've known from that look on your face lost in your current like a priceless wine

˚₊· end of senior year/graduation (2017)

Both of them knew the feelings that they harbored for each other but were both unsure of how the other felt. Neither one of them wanted to mess up their current friendship, they had been best friends since freshman year. 

It had never been that simple between them, their friends saying how they looked like a couple everywhere they went. She would always wear his jerseys to his games or one of his shirts and he would always show up to her events with unwavering support. 

Whenever someone saw Quinn, y/n wasn’t too far behind and vice versa, whenever y/n was asked what she was doing that night, she would say hanging out with Quinn and vice versa. They would always be caught holding hands or leaning up against one another or literally any other way that looked like they were dating. 

They never said anything though, and they wouldn’t until graduation. Quinn and y/n stood side by side taking a picture with each other as they waited for their parents to find them. Y/n knew Quinn was good at hockey, good enough to get drafted, good enough to make the NHL, it was no secret. But because of Quinn’s birthday that wouldn’t happen for at least another year.

She was worried, she didn’t want to lose him. She didn’t want him to become this big-shot hockey player and forget about her, she didn’t want him to become a self-absorbed player with an ego bigger than himself. Though deep down she knew he would never let his ego get that big, but the forgetting part? As much as she told herself he wouldn’t and knew that he wouldn’t she couldn’t get past the ‘what if?’

Quinn waved a hand in front of her face, snapping a couple of times to gain her attention, “Y/n. Y/n. Y/n.” He dragged out the last syllable of her name. 

She looked at him, her eyes getting rid of the glassed-over look by blinking, “What?”

“I’ve been talking for the past couple of minutes and you, my dear sweet y/n, have not responded. You have just been-” Quinn looked over to where her focus had landed when she spaced out, “staring at that tree.”

“Oh sorry.”

“What’s on your mind?”

“What’s going to happen?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, we’re going to go to school for one year and then you’re going to get drafted. You’re going to go away somewhere and play professional hockey for a living and you’re going to forget about me.”

“Who said I was going to forget about you?”

“No one, just me and my thoughts.”

“Well, you and your thoughts are wrong, because I could never forget about you.” He tilted her head down to kiss the top of her head.

“That’s what you say now.”

“I’ll you fly out to wherever I’m playing, Nashville, Toronto, Vancouver, anywhere, and I’ll let you punch me if I forget about you because you are the best fucking thing that has ever happened to me. Since freshman orientation, I knew you were the one.”

“Are you just saying that because I was the only one who would talk about hockey with you?”

Quinn, being bold, slid his hands underneath y/n’s graduation gown, grabbing onto her waist through the fabric of her dress and pulling her close to him. She stumbled at the unexpected action, causing the boy to apologize before placing his index finger underneath her chin and lifting it so her eyes would meet his, “Look at me.”

She sighed when the two made contact. Quinn noticed the fear in her eyes, she truly didn’t want to lose him and he didn’t either, “I know you’re worried and so am I, but I promise you this-”

She didn’t want to hear what he had to say, the whole bullshit of the promises not to forget about her, she’s read it plenty of times in books, “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Quinn.” She averted her eyes away again, directing them to the other families around them.

“Hey.” Quinn once again moved her head so her eyes had no choice but to look into his own, “I love you.”

“I love you too, Quinn but that doesn’t really change-”

“Just shut up for one minute, will you? I love you, y/n. And I don’t mean the typical I love you that you give to the girls. I love you and I was too afraid to tell you because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship and I didn’t know how you felt but I thought if there was a time to tell you this, it would be now.”

Y/n looked at him in shock, the words she had been waiting for since she walked into the auditorium for orientation. This wasn’t real life, was it?

Quinn stared at her blank face as she opened and closed her mount a couple of times, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

The boy went to walk away but she placed a hand on his arm, “No! No, I’m sorry I just didn’t know what to say. I love you too, Quinn.”

“You do?”

She nodded and Quinn wasted no time placing his lips onto hers.

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

life was a willow and it bent right to your wind head on the pillow, i could feel you sneaking in

˚₊· fall of 2021

She loved Quinn, she truly did, but not that much that she was willing to stay up into the early hours of the morning/late hours of the night for him after a game. She texted him saying that she was going to bed and that she was proud of him for his game. 

It was the first time since they moved in together that Quinn had a night home game. Getting used to the rhythm that was going to be for the rest of Quinn’s hockey career was starting slow. She wasn’t used to him coming home at late hours of the night or leaving in the early hours of the morning before the sun was up to go to practice. 

She didn’t mind it that much though, just knowing that he was coming home to her was good enough for the both of them. She laid in bed, hoping that she would be able to stay awake until he got home but she fell asleep within moments of her placing her ends down on the pillow.

When Quinn got the text, he had just finished putting on his suit jacket and he wanted nothing more than to go home to his girl and lay next to her in their newly shared bed. But, his teammates were not going to let that happen. 

They dragged him to a bar to have one or two drinks before heading home. He thinks he’s never detested his teammates this much before this moment. When he finished his first drink, he said goodbye, practically running out of the doors of the bar. 

He unlocked the car and practically sped home and crept into the apartment, just in case y/n was already sleeping. He set his things down and walked into the bedroom and smiled when he saw her curled up in the sheets, a shirt of his adorning her body much like in college when he’d go to away games. 

He took a quick shower, not wanting to prolong the duration of not having her in his arms. He put a pair of sweatpants on before carefully lifting the covers and sliding into bed. Y/n, who had been awake since he walked in the apartment doors, turned over, “Hey Quinner.”

Quinn’s eyes snapped to his girlfriend’s, “Hi sweetheart. I’m sorry, did I wake you?” 

“No, I was just a little cold and then I heard the front door click open.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were awake?”

“Because then I would’ve had to wait even longer for you to come to bed.”

Quinn smiled, kissing her, “I love you.”

“I love you.”

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

life was a willow and it bent right to your wind they count me out time and time again

˚₊· 2022

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 『 instagram 』

_quinnhughes

liked by yourusername, jackhughes, lhughes_06, and 58,527 others

_quinnhughes happy fifth anniversary to this gorgeous girl. and while we both know that five should really be a nine, i'm glad i've been able to call you mine for the five of them. i love you, y/n <3

tagged: yourusername

view 309 comments

yourusername: quinn... i love you so much 💙

⤷ _quinnhughes: i love you too pretty girl 💚

⤷ user: the canucks colors 🥹

jackhughes: proud of you for putting up with him for so many years @/yourusername

⤷ yourusername: my pleasure

lhughes_06: congrats you two!

*liked by _quinnhughes & yourusername*

user: five years? hah, that's humorus

user: can't believe she's kept him for that long, thought quinn would've dumped her when he made the nhl

user: she's not even that pretty, i don't see the appeal

user: probably just using him

user: don't see this lasting any longer

_eliaspetterson: congrats guys! happy five years

*liked by yourusername & _quinnhughes*

bboeser: my besties!

⤷ _quinnhughes: please do not ever use that word again

⤷ yourusername: i think it's sweet, quintin

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

life was a willow and it bent right to your wind but i come back stronger than a 90's trend 

˚₊· 2022

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 『 instagram 』

nhlwags

liked by yourusername, _quinnhughes, canucks, and 8,432 others

nhlwags as we ring in the holiday season, y/n is back with her famous gift bags! we heard cookies were the hit thing this year.

also wishing these two a (very) belated fifth anniversary, hope quinn and y/n have many more years to come (maybe a ring soon 👀)

tagged: yourusername, _quinnhughes, canucks

view 98 comments

yourusername: my favorite time of year! always glad when i get to make the team things. (and yes, i'm hoping for a ring too 😔)

⤷ user: if you don't get a ring, it's rigged. wya @/_quinnhughes??

⤷ yourusername: fr

_eliaspetterson: cookies were amazing as always, treating us well over here

bboeser: our little baker!

jackhughes: this is preposterous! we never got any cookies :(

⤷ yourusername: you know what that word means?

⤷ jackhughes: when did you start becoming a bully to me

⤷ yourusername: when i started hanging out with you too much

user: gagged them fr

user: well... she shut them up

user: me looking for all the hate comments to defend my girl

user: i really wanna know what the famous y/n cookies taste like

⤷ j.tmiller9 heaven

⤷ colemcward: the greatest thing on this planet

⤷ conor.garland8: amazing

⤷ jackhughes: perfect

⤷ lhughes_06: everything you would want them to taste like

⤷ _quinnhughes: i'm starting to get the sense you guys only come to my house to taste her food

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

wait for the signal and I'll meet you after dark show me the places where the others gave you scars

˚₊· summer of ‘19

“Meet me at the dock after everyone goes to bed” was the text y/n got at ten o’clock. She smiled to herself when she read it and patiently waited for everyone to go to bed before sneaking out of the house and running down to the dock. Quinn sat with his feet dangling over the wood into the water waiting for his girlfriend. When he heard footsteps behind him, he turned around and grinned when he saw her running towards him. 

They hadn’t had a moment alone together in almost three months. When Quinn had to fly to Vancouver to make his debut, she couldn’t come with him, having to finish her classes. Then she was staying with her parents for the majority of May and into June and she wasn’t allowed to go anywhere. Quinn had been finishing up some things with the team and he ended up spending some much-needed time with his family. 

Ever since y/n had gotten to the lake house, she had been helping Ellen with things and spending time with Luke and Jack because they wanted her to. They played Mario Kart and other video games, and the two made her go out on the boat with them and made her watch as they did tricks and flipped into the water. 

Quinn patted the space next to him but instead, y/n took her spot right on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. His eyes widened at the sudden contact but happily wrapped his arms around her waist, snuggling into one another. 

Y/n looked at him, “So, I guess I’m dating a big-shot NHL player now, huh?”

Quinn merely shrugged, “I guess you are, aren’t you?”

“Yes, unfortunately, because he’s living in a totally different country than me and in the opposite direction.”

“Aw, that sucks. I’m sorry to hear that. He must feel terrible.”

“Oh I don’t know, he gets to be a free man.”

“I wouldn’t say free, more sad.”

That comment made her perk up, “What’s wrong?”

“I just, miss you.” His voice ever so slightly cracked and she could see the tears starting to form in his eyes, “Honey. Hey, hey, it’s okay.”

At the nickname, Quinn immediately started crying,  he had missed her so much, much more than he ever imagined he would. He never really thought about the fact that his best friend, his girlfriend, his everything would be in Michigan while he was in Vancouver. 

“No, it’s not okay. I get to live out my dream but my dream isn’t complete without you there. We’re going to be 2,368.82 miles apart for at least the next two years. I don’t think I can do it.”

Y/n hated it when he cried, it broke her heart into a million pieces when she saw the tears trickling down his face. Much like he always did with her, she reached up and cupped his face, wiping his tears off his face, “Listen to me. We are Quinn and y/n, y/n and Quinn, when has anything ever stopped us from being apart? Where's Quinn from when we graduated, huh? The Quinn who promised me that he would never forget me and that everything was going to be okay? Just because we’re however many miles you said apart doesn’t mean anything. So now it’s my turn to promise you something. I promise you that we are going to find a way to make this work.”

Quinn nodded his head, still a little unconvinced about her words. In a way to distract him from the thoughts that he never thought he would be able to escape, she looked at the scars on his body and started asking him questions about them. 

Some were from his childhood when he, Jack, and Luke would be playing a game or messing around and one of them would throw something at him or he was pushed over. Some were from when he played hockey when he was younger, getting shoved into the boards or shoving someone else into the boards. Some were from the games he played in the spring, his first games in the NHL. Those were y/n’s favorites and least favorites. Favorites because it was from his dream, and the stories behind them would last forever, least favorites because they reminded her of how much he could get hurt doing this. But that wasn’t something she wanted to worry about right now. 

All she wanted to do was think about this moment, the moment they were living in as the stars illuminated where they sat on the dock, in each other’s arms, talking about random stories from each other’s childhood. 

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

now this is an open-shut case guess i should've known from the look on your face every bait and switch was a work of art

˚₊· fall/winter of 2023

“You guys would never guess what I found when I was cleaning the other day.” Y/n came walking in from the room she had been in. 

Jack and Luke sat at the table with Quinn and Ellen and Jim sat near their sons, one of the days leading up to the Hughes v Hughes game. They all smiled as the girl came bounding in, Quinn had just placed down his tiles when she spoke and he raised his eyebrows, “What’d you find, hon?”

Y/n placed a fluffy object down on the wood surface, “Luke’s bear that he and Jack gave me when we were in high school.”

“Paulie?” 

“You still remember its name?” Jack laughed loudly and Ellen got up to hit the middle child on the back of his head, “Don’t make fun of you brother.”

“Oh, come on. You have to admit, it's a little funny.”

Luke blushed heavily and Quinn quirked an eyebrow, “Why do you still have that is my question.” He took the bear into his grasp and started fiddling with its arms, “Because.”

She shrugged and all five of the Hughes’ looked intrigued, “Y/n, you have to tell us.” Jack insisted as he leaned forward, messing up the game that had previously been going on. Quinn and Luke groaned at their brother’s actions. 

“Because,” She ripped the bear from her boyfriend’s grasp and held it to her chest, “Because it reminds me of that day when I was sad and you guys cheered me up. It was the first day I felt a part of the family.”

“I remember that day.” Luke spoke up, looking between everyone in the room, “Jack and I were sitting on the couch when Quinn opened the door for you and you came in and you looked all…”

“Dead?”

“I was gonna say sad but I guess that works too. Anyway, when you two went up I told Jack my plan and he hesitated about it but I knew he had a soft spot for you so he caved in easily. I ran to my room to get the bear and give it to you.”

“It was a stupid, plan.” Jack laughed again but he knew how much it meant to y/n. 

The girl shrugged and hugged Luke from behind, resting her arms on his shoulders as they wrapped around him, clasping her hands together, “It’s okay, Luke. I loved it.”

Ellen smiled, “And following, you’ve always been a part of the family. Ever since Quinn came back from freshman orientation just bragging about the girl he met.”

“Mom.” Quinn threw his head back in annoyance and y/n giggled, “You talked to your mom about me? From freshman orientation? Ew, I was just a dork back then.”

“If I remember correctly, Quinn couldn’t stop talking about the girl that wore a Patrick Sharp Blackhawks jersey one or two sizes too big, with her hair in braids who talked about hockey with him for the duration of orientation.” Jim patted his son on his shoulder as Quinn continued to clench his eyes in embarrassment. 

“Do we really have to relive this moment?”

“Maybe not now but Ellen and I are definitely going to talk about this when you aren’t around.”

“Hey look at that, she called me Ellen! It only took her ten years.” The woman teased as she wrapped her in a hug. 

“Hey! I thought I was being respectful, and it’s a force of habit.” Y/n blushed as she smiled and gasped when all of a sudden an armed wrap around her and Quinn pulled her into his lap.

“Quinn!” Quinn hid his face in the crook of her neck and breathed deeply, “I’m never going to live this down. 

“Probably not.” Looking at her watch, y/n realized the time, placing a kiss on Quinn’s forehead. 

“I should be going to bed, I got work in the morning. Night everyone!”

The four let out their goodnights and Quinn whispered an ‘I love you’ and y/n repeated the words to him before heading into their shared bedroom. The five Hughes’ sat in the kitchen for a couple of minutes in silence until Jack spoke, “So, when are you going to ask her?”

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

the more that you say the less i know

˚₊· freshman year of college (2017-2018)

Sitting at one of the tables in the student center, y/n sat across from Quinn as he talked about whatever was going on in the hockey world. She understood hockey, enough to be able to watch the game when it was happening and she knew some of the stats, but anything past that, not a clue in the world. 

She loved it when Quinn talked about hockey though. His eyes lit up and held this glint in them, he talked really fast, just spewing out nonsense. It was the highlight of her day when it happened, it was at least once a day if not more. He would always show up outside her dorm room or offer to take her to dinner. 

Every time he did, it always took Quinn a while to notice that his girlfriend wasn’t responding and this was the same. Quinn was rambling about Ohio State’s hockey team and the upcoming game against them and she just sat there, amused by his voice and his facial expressions. 

Quinn was halfway through his ramble when he finally made eye contact with her, “You’re not paying any attention to this are you?”

“I’m sorry, babe, but it’s really hard to when you look like that when you talk.”

“Look like what? An idiot for not knowing my girlfriend is not listening to any word I say?”

“No, hot.” Quinn’s cheeks reddened as he looked at her, “You never fail to make me blush do you”

“Absolutely not, and anyway, you know I never understand hockey. I try but it’s all in one ear and out the other.”

“I think one time we need to set up something so you can learn everything you need to know. Get you a book or make you a slide show or something.”

“Sure, Quinny. Whatever you say.”

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

wherever you stray i follow

˚₊· september of 2021

“You can just put that box over there.”

Jack placed down the box where y/n said, “How much stuff do you have?”

“Wow, Jack. Can’t believe you’d be so mean to me. This is why Luke is my favorite.” Y/n placed her arm around Luke as he walked into the apartment, “What?”

“Nothing, you poor innocent little man.” Y/n walked away to start unpacking the box Jack had placed down not too long ago.

“Do you guys need any help?” Luke asked politely, following after his brother’s girlfriend. 

“Nah, I’m okay. Thanks you guys, just chill out for a little bit before we go out for dinner.” The two nodded, sitting on Quinn’s, and now y/n’s, couch.

Just at that moment, Ellen walked in from the hallway and Quinn followed her, “It would be nice of you two to actually help y/n instead of just sitting there.”

Jack threw his arms up, “We offered to help her and she said no!”

“Actually, I offered but yes, she said it was okay.”

Y/n nodded her head, “I did.”

『••✎••』

Later that night, y/n and Quinn were standing in the living room, looking out the window. Quinn was standing behind the girl with his arms wrapped around her waist, “I can’t believe this is real.”

“I know, the lights are beautiful.”

“Not that.”

“Then what?” She looked up at him to see a lovesick expression on his face. 

“You here, in Vancouver.”

“Hey, you didn’t want me to be here in the first place.”

“Yeah well, I wanted you to do what was best for you. I didn’t want you to move all the way out here just because I was here.”

“How dumb are you?”

“Very, apparently.” 

She smiled again and rocked the two of them side to side, “Whatcha wanna do?”

Quinn just winked at her eliciting a giggle from her.

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

i'm begging for you to take my hand wreck my plans that's my man

˚₊· july/august of 2021 + november 7, 2021

“Quinn please!”

“Y/n, I’m not letting you do this. You had it all planned out since the moment we both got our acceptance letters.”

“I know that Quinn, but things change, plans change. I want to be with you, forever. I want to be wherever you are, please just let me come to Vancouver with you.”

The two stared at each other, eyes locked. They had been arguing for the past hour, ever since y/n brought it up. She had just graduated college and with Quinn having been in the NHL for the past two years she got a taste of what it would be like to do long distance, and it was horrible for both of them. 

“You know what it's like. These past two years have been horrible, Quinn, and not just for me and you know it.” Her voice cracked, “I would rather wreck everything I have planned for my future just to move to Vancouver for you. I can find a job there.”

“Are you sure, like 100% sure about this?” Y/n placed her hands on his cheeks, “Of course, I’m sure.”

Quinn nodded his head, “When do you want to move in?”

『••✎••』

It was November when y/n was able to go to Quinn’s first home game. It was a Sunday and they were playing the Stars. She was extremely excited as she threw on her jersey and drove to Rogers Arena. She met up with some of the wags that were going to the game as well and they sat in the suite waiting for their husbands to start playing. 

When they all came out, they cheered in unison watching them skate. They conversed slightly, giving y/n teasing comments and glances every time the announcers would mention Quinn or he had done something even remotely good for the team. It was worse when he got sent to the penalty box for cross-checking in the first period.

Most of them gave her cheeky grins when they showed him in the box, some giving her nudges. She blushed deeply as they made their comments. She didn’t know what was up with him tonight, he got three primary assists and a penalty. 

After the game, the wags excitedly took the girl down to the tunnel to wait for Quinn, “Hey, there’s your man.”

Y/n looked up and smiled, “That is my man.” 

Quinn smiled brightly, picking the girl up and spinning her around, “I can’t believe you’re here! You’re actually here!”

“Alrighty, Quinny, calm down. You’re causing a scene.”

“Sorry, babe. I’m just really excited that you’re here.” He smiled down at her, his hands on her lower biceps, just above her elbow, “I can tell.”

“What do you say, you guys want to go out for dinner?”

“Quinn, I got work in the morning. I need some sleep. Maybe another time though?” The girls nodded their heads at y/n and let the young couple wander off out of the arena and to their car.

“I’m really glad you’re here. I don’t know if I would’ve survived another minute without knowing you weren’t waiting at home for me.”

“Well, you never have to survive another minute without me again. Unless you’re on a road trip then, yes, but you know what I mean.”

Quinn and y/n were so in love it was actually kind of annoying to some people, but they had to admit that they were absolutely adorable.

⬂ 𝗩𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗼𝘂𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗖𝗮𝗻𝘂𝗰𝗸𝘀 𝗧𝗮𝗴𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 ⬂

please message me if you weren't tagged! | reminder to add yourself to the new taglist if you haven't already! this will be the last post with the vancouver taglist

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@puckslxt | @ivy-34 | @petite-potato4

[preseriesdean]

if you don’t mind me asking, could you share some of your favorite fanfics or authors? thanks ❤️

oh hi hello!! yes of course!! i actually haven't read any spn fic in a while but i have spent a lot of time organizing my bookmarks. i'm going to assume that you meant samdean fic but i'll add a few non-samdean ones at the end.

authors!

@zmediaoutlet (deadlybride on ao3)

candle_beck (ao3)

@goshen-applecrumbledore (ao3)

whereupon (livejournal)

Linden (ao3)

sevenfists (ao3)

there are so many more great authors but these came to mind :)

fics!

i am going to list my forever-favorites first - the ones i would recommend to anyone and everyone, screaming-from-the-rooftops kind of love - and then many many more under the cut.

beloved by urchinesque (2016, 1.9k, NR, warning: death) It might be the gentlest thing that's ever happened to them.

in my opinion everyone should read this once. it's quick. they die. it's-- happy, somehow. beautiful. i think about it all the time.

Last Day on Earth by candle_beck (2009, 10.8k, E) A list of things to do if you only have one day to live, presented in inconvenient non-list form.

last year my best friend and i were pondering which fic felt quintessential to samdean for us and somehow settled on this one. i still agree with the choice.

Odysseus, American by coyotesuspect (2010, 10k, M) Dean finds Peter O'Toole's recording of the Odyssey in a bin marked “Audio" in Casa Grande's only used bookstore. The place smells like cigarette smoke and old books, and it reminds him of Sam. Stanford era.

my favorite stanford era fic. i think it captures dean's loneliness and desperation beautifully.

A man with his insides out and his outsides off by britomart_is (2016, 5.3k, E, time travel, underage) They say there are only two stories in the world: man goes on a journey, and stranger comes to town.

another fic i want everyone to read. it's so short and feels like a novel. sam is messed up and dean is in love and everything is miserable.

Breathing Hard by whereupon (2009, 9k, E) The day Dean figures it out.

this is so simple and yet-- everything to me. i can't think about dinosaurs without thinking about this fic, which doesn't tell you much, but you'll see. sometimes this is really all you need.

The Last Outpost of All That Is by gekizetsu (2008, 59k, E) The world ends while they’re asleep.

this fic has stayed with me my whole life. i thought about it even during my years away from spn and fandom entirely. they're alone and you don't know why and they build their life together and you end up wondering, is this hell or heaven? whenever i come across a screenshot of the last couple of paragraphs i want to cry.

see things so much clearer by deadlybride (2020, 11.7k, E) Sam's been acting oddly. Dean learns how to use the history on an internet browser and finds out why.

this is a fic that hits the spot for me personally so well. another favorite preseries fic. i love the idea of sam using livejournal, and of dean finding out this way.

Stay The Distance by lazy_daze (2011, 24k, E) Sam is dependent on Dean's touch and closeness after the wall falls - Dean's presence reminds him of why he chose to wake up, and keeps the memories at bay, allowing Sam to function.

i love enmeshment, and i love that here it's literal. i love that they're just sort of fine with it.

more fics below!

in absolutely no particular order whatsover. please check the warnings and tags on these before reading!

Recall by De_Nugis (2012, 6.3k, E) Sam's having a hard time telling what's real and what isn't, especially when it comes to some voicemails from Dean.

Living in god's blind spot by applecrumbledore (2022, 25k, E) Of all the situations Dean didn’t need his dad to see him in, ‘getting off to being pushed around by a guy’ was in the top three. And ‘a guy’ was a massive glossing-over of reality. Any guy—any other guy—would be bad enough, but Sam was fucking cataclysmic.

Almost At Home by balefully (2008, 24.3k, E) Sam graduates from high school in early June in rural Tennessee. He and Dean start the summer with an all-nighter of celebration; the day after, while both fight hangovers, John calls to assign them their first hunt by themselves.

they said it was the fall of man by jukeboxhound (2016, 7.4k, M) Sam gets his soul back on a Monday.

When I Fall Asleep It Is Your Eyes That Close by britomart_is (2009, 1.9k, E) Post-Season Two. Sam is alive. Dean is happy.

Life As We Know It by sevenfists (2007, 13.7k, M, curtain fic) On the morning that Sam woke up, Dean ran five red lights on the way to the hospital, his half-empty coffee cup sloshing in the holder.

tied up like two ships by orphan_account (2014, 3.1k, E) Dean liked to hold hands.

Gospel Truth by Cerberuss (2020, 15.2k, E, case fic) ‘DOES YOUR BROTHER KNOW THAT YOU WANT HIM?’ Individually placed letters, bold and tinged brown with the weather. Sam can’t look away and he prays, dream dream dream.

Buy You A Mockingbird by candle_beck (2011, 10.3k, M, underage, outsider pov) A genuine horror story.

because you want to die for love by hathfrozen (2021, 27.3k, E) Sam and Dean settle into their Heaven—and into each other, too.

the constant vow by deadlybride (2022, 119k, E, fem dean-ish) They've just finished up a pretty standard job and are killing time in snowy Wisconsin when Dean wakes up no longer looking like Dean. That's just the start of their problems.

This Fortress Made of Us by mickeym (2009, 10.8k, E) Sam really didn't do very well without his brother. Coda for Mystery Spot.

State of Love and Trust/As I Busted Down the Pretext by cormallen (2010, 2.9k, M) When you know exactly what your brother's thinking, there are some chances you just don't take.

Quiet with the Rain by Linden (2014, 5.3k, T) Dean can spot an undercover cop at thirty paces, a hooker at twenty, and rims that will match his baby's at ten. But the fact that his little brother is in love with him—that, he can't see worth a damn.

have a cigar by deadlybride (2020, 5.6k, E) What happened with Andy and Ansem unsettles Sam. Dean doesn't seem worried.

Heart Shaped Balloon by winsive (2022, 18.5k, E, underage) Sam and Dad are fighting. No surprise, but it's the weekend before Valentine's Day and Dean isn't missing out on the chance to bang a cheerleader just to console his bratty little brother. He does bring back a heart shaped balloon for him, though. It's not supposed to be cursed.

Bare by gracerene (2022, 2.2k, T) Of all the things Dean hasn't done before, Sam never expected something as innocuous as skinny dipping to be on the list.

Speechless by candle_beck (2008, 11.2k, T, case fic) Dean loses his voice and their rapport is only moderately impaired.

Like It Was Yesterday by nomelon (2014, 4.9k, T, fem dean, amnesia) Sam can't remember a time when Dean wasn't there. Dean is always with him. Sam's whole life, there's never been anyone else.

Like a Ghost with Two Voices by Dyed_Red (2022, 46k, E) To cure Dean from the Mark of Cain, Sam has to let Dean, in all his demonic glory, possess him for 28 days. It goes about as well as expected.

Breathe You In (Choke You Down) by orphan_account (2021, 5.9k, E, pwp) Dean really likes the way Sam smells.

lost in yesterday by margaryes (2023, 1k, NR, john pov) John hasn’t seen his youngest son in 18 months.

Unraveling by Linden (2017, 855 words, E) No, he’d said, the first time Sammy had tried to kiss him, sixteen and half-drunk and stupidly beautiful, even though he’d wanted so badly to say yes.

pack up the moon by deathdreamt (2021, 5.9k, T, pre-slash) Sam storms back out from their room, his backpack on and his duffel hanging off his shoulder and isn’t it kind of tragic that his whole life fits in two bags. He looks suddenly much younger than he is, eyes shining. John is back at his guns, whiskey at his elbow, and Dean can hardly believe how rapidly his life is cracking down the centre.

Yesterday, minnesota by applecrumbledore (2022, 30k, E, case fic) Any initial awkwardness filtered away over a hundred miles of highway as Sam thumbed through the missing witch’s diary again. Some people had secret coke habits or secret second wives, and some people had passionate, pitch black, no-kissing sex with a family member every four to six months and never talked about it. You had to find ways to cope.

All Heartless Spectres, Happiness by orphan_account (2021, 5.6k, E) Lisa Braeden receives an email with the subject line, "You Deserve to Know." It contains a single video file and nothing else. (soulless sam)

The Palm Oasis by fictionallemons (2022, 12.3k, E, underage) John strands Dean and Sam at a middle-of-nowhere motel while he investigates possible demon omens in Arizona. The place is nothing to write home about, but at least it has a pool. Dean resolves to think of this as a vacation for him and his studious little brother, but when their money runs out sooner than expected, he considers turning tricks at a nearby truck stop so he can feed Sam.

Other Brothers by homo_pink (2020, 7k, M, underage, outsider pov) A callow boy can go from infancy to someone’s lover in the space of two wildflower summers.

Leader of the Pack by astolat (2007, 14.9k, E) Teaching old dogs new tricks.

Underground Wires by eggnogged (2012, 15.8k, E, fem sam, underage) It’s hard enough being a teenage girl even without all the extra crap: they move around all the time, her family is as far removed from normal as it’s possible to get, and she’s in love with her older brother. Sam has no control on any of it, she’s just trying to stay afloat.

Multitude of Sins by Linden (2015, 4.4k, T, outsider pov) Every now and again, Jim Murphy would look up from his altar and find the Winchester boys at the back of his church.

Like Arrows in the Hands of a Warrior by ADeedWithoutaName (2018, 10.3k, E, underage, dub con-ish, john pov) John Winchester loves his boys, and would take a bullet for either of them. He knows that he's doing it right, the way he's raising them, the things he's teaching them. Not every problem, however, has an easy answer. Like what to do after an incubus case in which their target got his pollen all over both of John's sons.

You Can't Lose What You Never Had by nigeltde (2016, 5.6k, E) You can't spend what you ain't got, and you can't lose what you ain't never had.

Flagstaff by Linden (2014, 7.3k, T, pre-slash, john pov) John tracked Sam down in Flagstaff, four days after he got home to find him gone.

I'll take my chance on a beautiful stranger by fleshflutter (2007, 3.8k, M, outsider pov) If Chase were a better friend, he might try to end the game now, before Brendan loses even more money. But if Brendan is a dick at Stanford, it’s nothing compared to how he is on break.

Cupid's Got A Gun by geckoholic (2012, 13.5k, E, non-con) Fuck-or-die, set in early S4. But they've been fucking for years, so that shouldn't be a problem, right? Wrong. Ever since hell, Dean's in no hurry to get that show on the road again.

Someone Else's Blood by sevenfists (2006, 6.7k, E) The first time, of course, was an accident. (pretend dating)

How Many Floors to Realize by lazy_daze (2009, 26k, E, swesson) AU from the end of It's A Terrible Life, in which Zachariah decides to keep stringing them along a little while longer, because damn if they aren't somewhat entertaining, right?

Worthless cartography by applecrumbledore (2022, 15.6k, E) Dean didn’t know what finally made him go for it. The djinn’s dream was a catalyst, but the call was coming from inside the house, and he’d been letting it ring for a very, very long time. (They get one night together right before Sam is taken to Cold Oak. Dean has to deal with that.)

The Space Between Sense and Memory by orphan_account (2021, 4.8k, T) There are a hundred unwritten rules on all the acceptable ways brothers should touch each other. There are hardly any ways at all to break them. Or; five times they follow the rules and one time they don’t.

Ions in the Ether by nigeltde (2019, 10.9k, E, case fic) When was the last time you trusted happy.

Crossed Wires by rivkat (2015, 10.9k, E) Dean thinks Sam is dead.

Crown and Anchor Me (or let me sail away) by Sena (2010, 23.7k, E, underage) Sam Winchester is fifteen years old, at yet another new high school in yet another state, he doesn't get along with his distant, distracted father, he's figuring out that he likes guys just as much as he likes girls, his clothes never fit and his limbs ache at the joint ever since his growth spurt started, he has to study for the PSAT and, oh yeah, he's a little bit in love with his brother, Dean, who's taken a break from hunting monsters to work at a local garage for minimum wage.

Wear Him Lika a Habit by sevenfists (2008, 2.2k, M) Their first kiss isn't an accident. It's anticipated well in advance, discussed for weeks, argued over, second-guessed.

Amor Prohibido by phoenixflight (2020, 3k, M, underage) They spent the spring of Sam's sophomore year living in a shitty apartment south of San Antonio. Every Friday night the clearest channel played three hour marathons of a Spanish soap called La Casa del Corazón. There was a mutually understood truce about watching it, because the alternatives were infomercials or creepy kids’ cartoons that futzed into static every fifteen seconds.

Open Road by Mollyamory (2010, 2k, T) Sam's old enough to know what's good for him.

It's the Blueprint of Your Life by queenklu (2011, 38.4k, time travel) Sam jerks awake in the middle of the night and everything goes to hell. Well, not literally, though Dean is staring down the barrel of less than a year before his deal comes due. In the midst of dealing (or not dealing) with his impending death, a killer ghost ship, and Bela showing up out of the blue, Dean also has to figure out what’s going on in Sam’s head to make him so twitchy, why he’s suddenly breezing through this case while writing endless notes in a notebook he won’t let Dean see.

North of Wednesday by Mollyamory (2008, 3.5k, G) Sam's behind the wheel before he realizes he doesn't have the keys. Coda to Mystery Spot.

non-wincest fic.

dean/omc. We Drank a Thousand Times by glorious_spoon (2010, 43k, M, warning: death) They meet in a bar fight in North Carolina when Dean is nineteen, broke, and desperate, then again when a hunt brings the Winchesters into town a few years later. Neither one of them ever puts a name to it but every once in a while, through the years, Dean finds his way back.

dean/cas: terror & desire intertwined by rupertgayes (2022, 39k, M) Faced with Castiel suffering a fate worse than death, Dean makes the decision to let Cas use his body as a temporary vessel. All things considered, Dean thinks, it could have gone worse.

gen, sam&dean: what lasts by deadlybride (2021, 17.2k, M) Not long after they move into the bunker, Dean loses a leg. Most of a leg. After the hospital, Sam brings him home, and they figure out how to live with what remains.

gen, dean-centric: To Repair Broken Men by procrastin8or951 (2015, 3.1k, T) Dad and Sam keep fighting. Dean can't fix his family, so he fixes things around the crappy apartment they are staying in.

dean/michael: our hour came round at last by orphan_account (2015, 1.8k, NR, pwp) "I want to be inside you," says Michael, low and velvet and hungry and that really shouldn't turn Dean on but it does.

dean/lucifer, dean/cas: exploratory by sp8ce (2022, 4.9k, E, non-con) One night, Castiel proposes he and Dean have sex. Except it's a little more complicated than that.

dean/cas: for a healthy heart by Askance (2013, 2.4k, T) A strange black box appears in Castiel's bedroom one afternoon.

gen, sam&dean: charmer & gentle by Askance (2015, 3.7k, G, outsider pov) The afternoon girl calls them Big and Tall, the strangers who come in late every now and then, buying this or that. The night girl doesn't think those names fit quite right.

dean/cas, past sam/dean: whose wings, though tattered, shall carry me home by fleshflutter (2009, 2.2k, T) There is a breeze moving across the field. It stirs the long grass in lapping waves like the sea. Castiel runs his fingertips through it and remembers flying.

[reallyhardydraws]

2023.

i hope any of you reading this will forgive the essay. i started posting to this art blog ten years ago in 2013 when i was just at the very end of high school, uploading short animations i'd made for one of my final projects, preparing myself for art school where i was gearing up to become an illustration/animation student.

i went into my art foundation course in 2014, still thinking i was going to be going into storybook illustration or with faint hopes of becoming like a concept artist for game/animation, although even then i'd started thinking about patterns...

and then in 2015 i did go into my BA, going in for that illustration with animation degree that... usually when i talk about it in real life, i say didn't really feel like the best place for me. if i think back, the best things i got out of it were two of my best friends, one of whom is now my partner. looking back on my BA era, there's some bits of sketchbook stuff...

and while i was at university my main fandoms were thunderbirds are go and x-men for a bit... these are from the end of 2015 into the beginning of 2016...

then for a little while i was doing this still sort of pastel-ish lineless situation:

and i alternated between that and this thin fineliner type work (pretty sure all of the linearted pieces were done on paper and scanned, and all the lineless were graphics-tablet-only) - it was in this style that i started to offer commissions for the first time too.

and i also had fineliner-lined work in sketchbooks that i coloured with marker and posca pens, the colours of which were generally a bit more intense just based on not being able to slide the hue/saturation around on paper:

also 2016 was when i discovered the spongebob musical just after it's trial run in chicago (which ended in july of 2016) and i started making fanart at that point... which would have the biggest effect on the way i drew (and i did end up handing in a piece of spongebob musical fanart as one of my art school homeworks lmao)

from summer 2016 until early 2017 things were still quite soft and pastelly in my digital art, colour-wise:

and then suddenly everything got whacked up to 100% on saturation. also i was using the binary tool to give everything really thin pixel lineart for some reason.

then i went on vacation in summer 2017 and didn't draw for maybe a month? just short of? and when i came back i decided to change everything up again... giving characters blobbier, more ugly-cute faces with large squinting eyes and big nostrils and i was worrying a lot less about making anything look smooth, lineart-wise. i turned off the pen stabiliser in SAI and let it wiggle.

then... the spongebob musical opened on broadway in late 2017, i went to see it live in person for the first time... and my whole brain was ENTIRELY consumed by my love of it. i was putting that david zinn inspired pattern explosion into everything, even if it wasn't sbm fanart.

as we go into 2018, i started colouring my lineart. my biggest interest was still broadway musicals (with spongebob at the top of the list)

i think summer 2017 - early 2018 is probably my favourite art era, i was at my most bright and colourful and exciting... although i know in my actual real life i was struggling a lot with my home situation and i had been for some time. art was definitely my escapism back then, and i think a lot of the time i drew really bright, joyful stuff to try and inject that feeling into myself.

as for my university work, i was putting my focus into 3D paper-mache puppets:

and i was also starting to do more repeat patterns, mostly inspired by things around me. i'd learned how to make patterns actually tile and repeat in 2017, so made a few during my time at uni just to accompany some of my projects, but never as the focus of them. one of my university tutors told me that maybe i should put more focus on doing surface pattern, and maybe applying it to textiles, but i said i wasn't interested.

i graduated from my BA in the summer of 2018, and immediately began volunteering at the whitworth art gallery doing anything i could - stewarding, helping with arts and crafts, dancing with families...

in 2019 i was still very colourful... i was trying out more chunky colouring on characters skintones that i think was def inspired by tumblr artist jadenvargen:

but the blobbyness and ugly-cute style of drawing faces was gone by here, and i think... the way i drew characters probably had better *anatomy*, proportions were maybe a bit more realistic...

in 2020 i started adding the black shading to under the chins and some other places on characters' bodies because i started watching the anime my hero academia with my brother, lmao (and i was starting to pastelise colours a bit again, these are the most pastel-ish examples) my lineart has really smoothed back out too, though i never turned my pen stabiliser back on in SAI. i think my hand just adjusted. probably seems a bit insane to miss that, but i do.

by the end of 2020, the almost-year of lockdown over cobid had... made me a bit insane, i think, and i moved out of my mother's house and into a flat with a friend from university.

in 2021 i think things were much the same... i think from this point on is where things have sort of settled. i don't want to say stagnated, but i do think things have been very... like this for a while.

2022 - got the most exciting examples out...

also i was very into these little frames in 2022.

and then on to 2023! in 2022, i did begin trying to shift gears a bit -- hoping to put more energy into sewing and making products (like my tutor has suggested back in uni, even though i'd really resisted the idea.) i sold at a few in-person markets during winter of 2022, but got disheartened by the amount of money i had to sink in up front to sign up for a spot...

which has made me VERY grateful for the people who have supported me via online sales. it has really helped me stay afloat in 2023 - AND it has felt more wonderful than i can describe that there have been people interested in my work... especially when a lot of it has been my original designs, rather than the fanart that i expect a lot of people initially followed me for.

i've also... in the past 2 years... branched out a bit more when it comes to 'being an artist' - and have had the opportunity to deliver arts & crafts workshops with local refugee & asylum seeker support charity, afrocats. it's taken me to their home base in a church to hotels across the city where asylum seekers were temporarily placed while waiting on their new homes, and of course to my beloved whitworth art gallery, where we welcomed visitors from all backgrounds: from the typical white middle class visitors the gallery usually expects, to all the refugee visitors coming into the space for the first time.

and through my volunteering at the whitworth, i showed up so often they decided they might as well pay me. so i've also become a facilitator of... creative play sessions, my favourites of which have been outdoors. monthly, year-round, we have 'outdoor art club', where i get to paint with mud and make potions from leaves with kids & families - here you can see me tell you a little bit about it in this video below with 'crempog' a puppet character that makes videos about activities for kids and families around manchester (my bit starts at 01:10 although i am in the intro and thumbnail haha)

and then of course the summer 'PLAYTIME' activities we've had the past two years: scrap studio in 2022, and play market in 2023. it's the best freelance gig ever -- just to hang out and encourage families to be creative and have fun.

in working more in these new avenues... outside of being - as i've called myself for a long time - "an internet artist"... i've found myself more interested in this sort of thing. in being a "real world artist" too. in doing surface pattern design, and being a workshop facilitator, i find myself wanting to put more energy into these sorts of projects.

in 2023 i've also dabbled a little bit more in youtube videos! i have had a channel for a while and have made videos in previous years, but 2023 has been the year i've done the most in. admittedly most of them haven't been about my art, and more just like... random things that interest me (the spongebob musical in particular) but i've really been enjoying video editing. that's kind of an art form too, so i'm including it here!

moving forward, want to keep putting even more of my energy into other things. my shop, with a bigger range of products to offer. workshops in real life, where i can make a difference.

as for my art blog... i feel like i've done the least drawing in many years in 2023, and... well, things have been weird and complicated for a bit in my real life. i hope to draw for fun a bit more again very soon, and to return to doing things in more of a wild and crazy way, to be more creative and exciting with the way i draw things. still, here's some of my favourites from 2023:

thank you so much to everyone who has borne witness to my art journey this past decade!!! i hope you will stick with me, who knows, maybe for another 10 years if tumblr holds out. especially a big thank you to everyone who has ever commissioned me, or bought anything from my store, you literally keep me able to make art at all and i cannot, cannot, cannot overstate how much it means to me.

i'm moving homes soon, possibly into very cramped temporary conditions for a little while before HOPEFULLY starting my real life with my partner. if i can take one more moment to plug my work, then [here is a link to my online shop] and [here is my ko-fi page too.]

cheers, cheers, cheers!

- LOREN 🌈🍍🎉

[hughessdemon]

WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN THEM ? || J.BURROW

~joe burrow x f1!driver fem

social media au-

summary - what happened between the two kids who were in love in high school???

YOURUSERNAME HAS POSTED !

location: Suzuka, Mie

Liked by pierregasly , lewishamilton , and 1,478,000 likes

Yourusername : had a good race and time at Suzuka!! Thanks Seb for letting me be a professional drawer ❤️🥙

Load comments .

Alex_albon: I don’t know how you and Lilly managed to change my pc wallpaper so quickly 😪.

>> yourusername: it’s called being sneaky 🔝

Username : they all look so finee

Charlesleclerc: I look so good my my

Maxverstappen : 💣❤️

YNfanclubber : is she ever gonna home to ohio ???

Joehoewif3: @ynfanclubber why would she go home when her ex faces everywhere 😂😂

Suckmytoemax: I wonder what happened between them two that they stopped talking 🤨🤨??

view more comments……..

||TWITTER||

BACKSTORY:

June 12, 2015

Joey and I just graduated from Athens; after four grueling years here, we have graduated from this hell hole. You would think I spent a lot of time with Joey, but we barely did because I was going across countries for races, and he played basketball and was a quarterback. Sometimes, I had to ask him for help with homework because I was so behind that I would’ve failed. I was glad to have someone like Joey, who was supportive but intelligent on his own; there’s no really a backstory on how we met. I moved to Athens due to my dad’s new job in town, and I started 7th grade here. This is how I met Joey; he was persistent in speaking with me, so I gave him a chance to be friends, leading us to our situation now. I knew I was offered a contract from McLaren when they observed my races, and my team had been negotiating with them for quite a while. I came to agree joining with the team that would lead me to reach my goal …. Which was to be in Formula 1 I didn’t tell Joey at all which I should’ve but I waited till we graduated and when I left in a few days after college started. He seemed like he didn’t care really that much because he wasn’t the type to do long distance when i told him but deep inside I know I hurted him and I deserved nothing from him . heartbroken as you were the few races were coming up before you debuted in the May of 2016 so you needed to focus really good , you met your teammates and mechanics but deep inside nothing was okay . You happily learnt Joey moved on with a new girl , happy as you were for him , you still in love with him , even though you both would eventually fall apart you didn’t expect him to move on so quick. …..

[homosexuhauls]

Can you imagine if a white lesbian public figure brutally murdered two trans women in an interracial relationship and their black son? The headlines, the think-pieces, op-eds...we would never hear the end of it. It would be blamed on lesbian communities as a whole and the transmisogyny and white supremacy we obviously perpetuate on a daily basis just by existing. Cotton ceiling discourse would be back with a vengeance. There would be rallies and vigils, there would be calls to "Stand by your trans", there would be "#LWithTheT" marches. There would be a community in mourning, full of fury and hurt and self-righteous rage at the nasty lesbian aggressors who clearly caused this anti-trans hate crime. There would be no room for nuance and all lesbians would be painted with the "evil cis white dykes want us dead" brush. All of this would be seen as a completely acceptable and understandable response to a brutal act of anti-trans violence by a lesbian perpetrator.

So where is the noise? Where is the clamouring? Where is the sound and fury, when a famous white trans activist murders an interracial lesbian couple and their black son? I don't expect (or want) it to spark a radfem revolution, but why is the silence around the Dana Rivers murder case so deafening? Why does no one in the so-called LGBTQ+ community care enough to loudly and proudly mourn and celebrate these women and their son? Charlotte, Patricia and Benny deserve to be remembered. They deserve our sound and fury. Even if it's difficult, even if the optics don't suit your world views, we cannot ignore some injustices and claim to fight against others. The cowardly LGBT+ media organisations and charities covering their eyes and pretending that this act of violence never happened, they will happily call on lesbians for solidarity this pride month, despite showing no solidarity for a lesbian family slaughtered by an apparent member of our own "community". How can we call this anything other than a cover-up, or at the very least, deliberate and contrived ignorance?

Patricia Wright. Charlotte Reed. Benny Toto Diambu-Wright. Their lives were stolen from them on November 11th 2016. I can find no obituarities, and minimal mainstream media coverage of their murders. For many years, it felt almost as if their suffering had been forgotten. It has taken six and a half years for their murderer to be convicted and sentenced to life without parole, a sentence which Rivers will spend in a women's prison. Is this justice, or a pale imitation of such? Either way, I hope this family may finally rest in peace and power, and that their loved ones may begin to move forwards.

Pat and Char, as they were known to friends and family, are survived by two children. Patricia worked as a school teacher and deaf interpreter for schools, while Charlotte worked in a salon known locally for being trans-inclusive. Patricia was also an artist and talented actor, having considered a career in performing arts after high school. Charlotte had previously been a member of an all-female motorcycle club, which Rivers was also involved in. Both Charlotte and Patricia were also former regular attendees of MichFest, a feminist music festival which was closed down in 2015, following years of protests by trans women including Dana Rivers. 19-year-old Benny had just graduated high school and, according to his brother, hoped to become a nurse.

A victim impact statement was read out by Richard Wright, Patricia's younger brother, during Rivers' sentencing. I can't find the full text but much of the statement can be found in the Berkeley Scanner article below. Wright describes the impact of finding out that his sister and her family had been "assassinated in their own home" and the traumatising experience of searching for important paperwork at the bloodied crime scene that was once their home. According to Richard, Dana Rivers "chose her [sic] entitlement and narcissism over basic human decency" and "chose violence, cruelty, sadism and entitlement — over and over and over again." This is in reference to the length of court proceedings due to Rivers' changing pleas, as well as the brutality of the crime itself, which was carried out using guns, knives and arson. According to the judge, the murders of Patricia, Charlotte and Benny were "the most depraved crime that I’ve handled in the criminal justice field in 33 years."

No one but Rivers is responsible for these heinous crime, but all of us are responsible for ensuring history is not forgotten, and that the stories of those taken from us continue to be told. And when we tell their stories, in sound and in fury, we must ensure they do not fall on deaf ears.

"They were real people, not collateral damage...They deserve to be seen."

- Richard Wright's victim impact statement

For more information, see below:

[itsvivace]

Sad Girls Club ( Korean : 사드걸즈클럽 ) is a sub-unit of the fictional girl group VIVACE under I-Teen Media. The unit consists of five members : EUNMI, NOELLE, ARA, YANA, & HAYEON who debuted on October 2, 2019, two weeks after VIVACE’s debut, with the mini album SAD GIRLS CLUB.

Sad Girls Club quickly became a fan-favorite sub-unit, and only a week after they debuted, their debut title track, Like This, charted number one on almost all of South Korea’s charts and even gained the sub-unit their first win. But of course, most of Sad Girls Club's fame comes from the members themselves, with ARA, NOELLE, & HAYEON being members who ranked within the top 5 to debut after the finale of their survival show, I-Doll; they have some of the biggest solo fandoms in VIVACE and have brought in a ton of fans for Sad Girls Club. Commonly called the most successful VIVACE unit, Sad Girls Club is known worldwide as one of the biggest trendsetters in Kpop and has built a vast and dedicated fanbase.

౨ৎ BASICS

NAME : Sad Girls Club ( 사드걸즈클럽 )

LABEL : I-Teen Media ( 2019 - present )

DEBUT DATE : October 2, 2019

DEBUT SONG : Like This

MEMBERS : EUNMI, NOELLE, ARA, YANA, HAYEON

FANDOM : FAREWELL

౨ৎ MEMBER PROFILES

TW: death, car accidents, horrible mother, leaving home

ᡣ𐭩 Sim Eunmi was born on April 19, 1995 to a single mother and an older sister in Goyang-si, Gyeonggi-do, South Korea. As a child, her family struggled financially, with her mother being unemployed and forcing her older sister, Eunha, to provide for the family. When Eunmi got older, she started taking an interest in singers and being a performer. She eventually asked her mom to sign her up for singing lessons, to which her mom immediately refused and told Eunmi not to focus on her “idiotic” dreams. Eunha overheard the conversation between them and decided save up money and by Eunmi’s fifteenth birthday, Eunha suprised her with singing classes that she had to travel to Seoul to attend.

By her sixteenth birthday, for the first time in a while, Eunmi felt truly happy and was actually doing something she enjoyed. It all came crashing down a week after she turned sixteen when she got a call while she was at one of her singing lessons that Eunha had unfortunately got into a car accident and passed away at the scene. Losing the person who practically raised her hit Eunmi hard, and she found herself isolating herself from everyone and focusing on her schoolwork. After graduating high school, she found herself getting interested in singing again, so when she told her mom she wanted to pursue a career in performing and even major in music at college, her mom started yelling at her. They had a huge argument, resulting in Eunmi leaving her house and using the money she had collected over the years to move to Seoul and go after her dream.

The next time Eunmi was seen again was in 2019 when she participated in a survival show called I-Doll for a chance to debut in a thirteen-member girl group. She made it into the final lineup, ranked #8 overall, and debuted as the Leader, Vocalist, & Visual of VIVACE on September 17, 2019. She then debuted in VIVACE’s first sub-unit, Sad Girls Club, on October 2, 2019, as the Leader, Sub Vocalist, & Visual. Eunmi commonly goes viral for her stunning visuals and elegant stage presence, which has attracted nearly the entire nation, and she’s been named one of the faces of South Korea. Being in a group where the members commonly get into scandals over their ‘messy’ personalities, Eunmi is regarded as one of the friendlier members and rarely gets into any drama, which has gained her a huge fanbase.

౨ৎ BASICS

BIRTH NAME : Sim Eun-Mi ( 심은미 )

STAGE NAME : Eunmi ( 은미 )

BIRTHDATE : April 19, 1995

BIRTHPLACE : Goyang-si, Gyeonggi-do, South Korea

ETHNICITY : Korean

SEXUALITY : Straight

౨ৎ CAREER

PROFESSION : Idol

LABEL : I-Teen Media ( 2019 - Present )

TRAINING PERIOD : 3 years ( 2016 - 2019 )

GROUP : VIVACE

SUB-UNITS : Sad Girls Club

S.G.C POSITIONS : Leader, Sub Vocalist, & Visual

VIVACE POSITIONS : Leader, Vocalist, & Visual

FANDOM NAME : AREUM

౨ৎ PHYSICAL

FACE CLAIM : Kim Jisoo

HEIGHT : 162 cm ( 5’3 )

ᡣ𐭩 Olivia Noelle Jung was born to famous Korean models in Richmond, Virginia, USA, on August 5, 1996. Growing up in the spotlight, Olivia always felt pressured to be perfect at all times, resulting in her becoming obsessed with her looks and making it hard for her to make any friends. Despite this, Olivia went on to be a popular actress on Disney Channel after being featured in the Teen Beach movie in 2013 and impressing people with her vocals.

She did a couple of side roles before ending her contract with Disney in 2015 to take up modeling gigs. In 2017, she suddenly dropped out of the spotlight without any explanation, leaving fans speculating about where she went. Unexpectedly, the next time anyone heard from Olivia again, she was participating In a South Korean survival show, I-Doll, in which she ended up ranking #3 overall, sparking a lot of controversy when people saw that her votes were 300k more than the girl who came in #4 and when netizens found out who her parents were, they were accused of rigging Olivia into the group's lineup but none of it was ever confirmed.

Olivia ended up debuting as a Vocalist of VIVACE on September 17, 2019 And then VIVACE’s first sub-unit, Sad Girls Club, on October 2, 2019, as the Main Vocalist & Lead Dancer. Olivia is known as the girl who keeps getting into controversies, scandals and is commonly accused of hating most of the members after posting and liking shady content about the other girls. Because of this most of her fans are super toxic and heavily encourage her toxic behavior, a lot of people also say she's a narcissist who only cares about herself.

౨ৎ BASICS

BIRTH NAME : Olivia Noelle Jung

STAGE NAME : Noelle ( 노엘 )

KOREAN NAME : Jung Mi-Young ( 정미영 )

BIRTHDATE : August 5, 1996

BIRTHPLACE : Richmond, Virginia, USA

ETHNICITY : Korean

SEXUALITY : Unlabeled

౨ৎ CAREER

PROFESSION : Idol, Actress

LABEL : I-Teen Media ( 2019 - Present )

TRAINING PERIOD : 2 years ( 2017 - 2019 )

GROUP : VIVACE

SUB-UNITS : Sad Girls Club

S.G.C POSITIONS : Main Vocalist & Lead Dancer

VIVACE POSITIONS : Vocalist

FANDOM NAME : LIVIES

౨ৎ PHYSICAL

FACE CLAIM : Kim Chung Ha

HEIGHT : 161 cm ( 5’3 )

tw : slight narcissism, controlling parents

ᡣ𐭩 Chirawan Chanthara was born to two lawyers in Bangkok, Thailand, on January 25, 1997. She grew up living a life of wealth and was surrounded by unlimited greed, which gave her a huge superiority complex even from a young age. Her parents always pushed her to be the best in everything; they signed her up in the highest-rated private schools, put her into loads of dance classes so she could dance competitively, and forbade her from having any friends that would distract her from success.

At age seventeen, she was in one of the top dance teams in Thailand, and while at a dance competition in South Korea, she was scouted to join a Korean entertainment company as a trainee. Despite being skeptical about the offer, Chirawan’s parents told her to accept the offer, and before she knew it, she was living in a dorm thousands of miles away from home. Four years later, in 2019, she was seen on the survival show I-Doll, where she ranked #2 and debuted in VIVACE a few months later on September 17, 2019 as a Rapper & Dancer and in VIVACE’s first sub-unit, Sad Girls Club, on October 2, 2019, as the Main Rapper & Main Dancer.

Chirawan is regarded as one of Kpop’s best dancers and has been invited to dance at huge events around the globe. Some fans claim she still brings off a narcissistic attitude and would be better off as a soloist, and others claim she's just misunderstood and needs proper love and support.

౨ৎ BASICS

BIRTH NAME : Chirawan Chanthara ( จิรวรรณ จันทรา )

STAGE NAME : ARA ( 아라 )

KOREAN NAME : Cho Chae-Hyun ( 조채현 )

BIRTHDATE : January 25, 1997

BIRTHPLACE : Bangkok, Thailand

ETHNICITY : Thai

SEXUALITY : Bisexual

౨ৎ CAREER

PROFESSION : Idol, Dancer

LABEL : I-Teen Media ( 2019 - Present )

TRAINING PERIOD : 4 years ( 2015 - 2019 )

GROUP : VIVACE

SUB-UNITS : Sad Girls Club

S.G.C POSITIONS : Main Rapper & Main Dancer

VIVACE POSITIONS : Dancer & Rapper

FANDOM NAME : WANNIES

౨ৎ PHYSICAL

FACE CLAIM : Lisa Manobal

HEIGHT : 167 cm ( 5’6 )

ᡣ𐭩 Naiyana Suwannarat was born on October 5, 1997 in Phuket, Thailand. Ever since she could talk, Naiyana was obsessed with singing and dreamt of being famous. Her parents always supported what she wanted to do, including getting her into singing and moving her to an arts school. Naiyana was always more reserved and tended to mind her business instead of engaging with others at school, which made her a loner and didn’t have many friends. Though one of her friends, Kirana, encouraged her to post a video showcasing her singing on the internet. The video ended up going viral, and all of a sudden, Naiyana became a famous YouTube singer within the following year.

The sudden popularity brought to Naiyana was something she had never felt before, but it also made her feel accomplished, knowing she was stepping closer to her dreams. Being internet famous, she found many close friends with interests she had never explored before, one being Kpop. She discovered Kpop through one of her friends online and quickly fell in love with the music and groups. In 2018, she uploaded a cover to Youtube of her covering Taeyeon’s 11:11, which quickly gained popularity and the attention of multiple Kpop companies that scouted her, including SM Entertainment, to which she accepted a contract after getting the support of her parents.

Naiyana participated in Mnet’s survival show I-Doll in 2019 and ranked #11 overall, making it into the final lineup she debuted as a member of VIVACE on September 17, 2019 as a Vocalist and a member of VIVACE’s first sub-unit, Sad Girls Club, on October 2, 2019, as the Lead Vocalist. She's named one of the quieter members who doesn't tend to get into drama with the other members and tends to only interact with them during group schedules.

౨ৎ BASICS

BIRTH NAME : Naiyana Suwannarat ( นัยนา สุวรรณรัตน์ )

STAGE NAME : YANA ( 야나 )

KOREAN NAME : Seo Nari ( 서나리 )

BIRTHDATE : October 5, 1997

BIRTHPLACE : Phuket, Thailand

ETHNICITY : Thai

SEXUALITY : Lesbian

౨ৎ CAREER

PROFESSION : Idol, Singer, Youtuber

LABEL : I-Teen Media ( 2019 - Present ) SM Entertainment ( 2018 - 2020 )

TRAINING PERIOD : 1 Year ( 2018 - 2019 )

GROUP : VIVACE

SUB-UNITS : Sad Girls Club

S.G.C POSITIONS : Lead Vocalist

VIVACE POSITIONS : Vocalist

FANDOM NAME : FLEUR

౨ৎ PHYSICAL

FACE CLAIM : Minnie Yontararak

HEIGHT : 167 cm ( 5’6 )

ᡣ𐭩 Min Hayeon was born in Chuncheon, Gangwon Province, South Korea on March 11, 1999 to owners of many major companies. Growing up, she tended to use her family’s influence and status to get what she wanted and had no doubt that one day, she would be famous one way or another. Not much is known about her early life except when she was thirteen, her parents divorced, and she was sent to live with her dad so she could inherit the companies. The next anyone saw of her was in 2015 when she became a trainee under YG Entertainment and was apparently supposed to debut in their upcoming girl group BLACKPINK but she left the group predebut.

Four years later, Hayeon participated on I-Doll, a Mnet survival show, for a chance to debut in their girl group that would be formed by the end of the show. She ended up ranking in #5 which many accused Hayeon of using her connections to get that mant votes after finding out that she’s a Chaebol but she publicly stated that she has no care for the rumors and what people think about her or her family. Hayeon debuted as a member of VIVACE on September 17, 1999 as a Rapper & Vocalist and as a member of Sad Girls Club, their first sub-unit, as the Lead Rapper & Maknae on October 2, 2019

Hayeon has been named one of the fakest members by netizens and even the group members who say she’s easily one of the nastiest members in VIVACE. That didn’t stop Hayeon from getting one of the hugest solo fandoms in the entire group with her fans being as horrible and nasty as she is.

౨ৎ BASICS

BIRTH NAME : Min Ha-Yeon ( 민하연 )

STAGE NAME : Hayeon ( 하연 )

BIRTHDATE : March 11, 1999

BIRTHPLACE : Chuncheon, Gangwon Province, South Korea

ETHNICITY : Korean

SEXUALITY : Bisexual

౨ৎ CAREER

PROFESSION : Idol

LABEL : I-Teen Media ( 2019 - Present ), YG Entertainment ( 2015 - 2019 )

TRAINING PERIOD : 4 years ( 2016 - 2019 )

GROUP : VIVACE

SUB-UNITS : Sad Girls Club

S.G.C POSITIONS : Lead Rapper & Maknae

VIVACE POSITIONS : Rapper & Vocalist

FANDOM NAME : YEONICS

౨ৎ PHYSICAL

FACE CLAIM : Kim Yeri

HEIGHT : 158 cm ( 5’2 )

౨ৎ DISCOGRAPHY

SAD GIRLS CLUB : debut mini album ( 2019 )

MY ADDITUDE : single album ( 2020 )

REVOLUTION : mini album ( 2020 )

WOMAN : mini album ( 2020 )

PRETTY SAVAGE : digital single ( 2021 )

MOVIE STAR : mini album ( 2021 )

SUPERWOMAN : full album ( 2022 )

CLUB 5 : mini album ( 2022 )

BAD BOY : single album ( 2022 )

BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY’S : mini album ( 2023 )

THE PLASTICS : full album ( 2023 )

I’M THE DRAMA : full album ( 2023 )

HOPELESS ROMANTIC : digital single ( 2023 )

[oatmilk-vampire]

Cannon-compliant, near future early 90s, enemies to friends back to enemies then to lovers angst and smut 11k word steddie fic.

Preview:

“Shouldn’t you usually ask for my license and registration?” Eddie delays, wondering if he’d be able to lure him away from the drugs.

“I already know who you are and that this van belongs to you. Please step out of the vehicle.” He repeats.

Eddie swallows. Unbelievable. He’s been selling for four years now and Steve’s the one to catch him? He wasn’t even in the act! He just re-upped his supply from Reefer Rick, which is even worse because now he has enough drugs for a small army.

Fuck it. He’s going to jail anyway.

His fight or flight kicks in and he’s running the moment his feet hit the dirt, leaving Steve behind to deal with his van full of paraphernalia.

He hasn’t had to run since that time in the Upside Down. He’s never been athletically fit, but he was always used to running from a threat.

Steve, on the other hand, has always been a star athlete.

Unfortunately for Eddie, Steve doesn’t stay with the van, instead he chases after him and, man, is he fast.

--

Or it's the early 90s and Steve is now a cop, and Eddie is still a drug dealer.

Based on the six stages of grief, all in (nearly) one night.

Or read it down below 👇

1.) Denial

Steve Harrington had gone through some shit in his teenage years. Hell, most of Hawkins went through some shit. High school politics weren’t anything compared to monsters and evil Russians and stopping numerous apocalypses all before you ever reached the legal drinking age.

Trying to figure out what he wanted do with his life shouldn’t have been that hard, but there he was getting the third degree from Daddy Dearest. Steve’s a failure, a letdown, a disgrace, a stain on the Harrington name. He’s heard it all before, but not with such animosity attached. His mother kept quiet, slowly shaking her head to show her disapproval. It should have hurt Steve; their reactions to his decision not to pursue college or take on the family business. But it didn’t.

In fact, it just made it all that much more easier.

Steve was always told he’d go to some Ivy League university in preparation of inheriting the Harrington family business, that is if he didn’t fuck it up before then. His dad’s words, not his.

But unlike Daddy Dearest, he’d seen some shit. He’d saved lives. He’d taken care of children more than he’d ever been taken care of himself. Even though Steve and Eddie were the oldest amongst their peers, they were still kids. Steve realizes that now. Nineteen and twenty are way too young to have to save a bunch of tweens and teens and the rest of town. There’s only one adult male he truly knows stepped in to help. Who did the work and risked his life.

So the decision was easy. He would follow in a different father-figure’s footsteps.

Instead of college and finance, he signs up for the Hawkins training academy.

He’d never been awesome at school, his grades just high enough to not get his ass whooped by his parents. But when he enrolled in the Hawkins training academy to become a officer, well, he excelled.

He had to wait until he was twenty-one, as were the minimum age requirements, so he worked Family Video with Robin for the remaining two years staying vigilant for any possible otherworldly threat, but alas none came and he was getting trained to protect and serve.

When he finally graduates twenty-four weeks later, he knows his place. He’s just a rookie. A baby officer. It feels nice to not have to be a leader anymore.

Another twenty-four weeks later, he graduates to his short sleeved uniform shirts and is finally allowed to ride alone.

He didn’t expect to fit in right away, but he also didn’t expect his fellow officers to bust his balls and haze him. He thought he escaped that life by avoiding college and the fraternities he once dreamed of.

Tomorrow will be the first day he rides alone. Today’s the last chance they have to truly get to him, and laugh the most at him.

“Where are my cuffs?” He throws the toy pair on the desk before him, placing his hands on his hips just after. It doesn’t have the same effect on men decades his senior as it does on the brats he once lovingly babysat.

“Maybe you should keep a better eye on your gear, rookie.” One officer laughs at him.

The other seems to take pity on him, if for only a moment.

“Oh, Harrington, there was a call. If you’re willing to clock back in you should take it.” He says, a genuine look in his eye.

“Yeah? What’s the address? I’ll head over now. What’s the call?” He momentarily forgets his woes, just happy they’re finally accepting him. Offering him his first real job.

Until the second officer throws the replacement cuffs at him, and with Steve’s reflexes he catches them. “You know that night club down by 69th? Yeah, I hear they’re looking for a new stripper.”

Steve feels himself visibly deflate, which only eggs the man on.

“All you’ll ever be is some rich kid pretty boy. You’ll get more use out of those than the real deal.”

A chorus of raucous laughter follows him out.

Steve groans and grumbles once he gets to his cruiser. He wouldn’t let them know how much they’re getting to him. He’s got to rise above and make Hopper proud. Who knows, with hard work he hopes that one day maybe he’ll even be the chief when Hop does decide to retire. Although, he has a feeling it’ll be a long time coming before that happens.

After Eddie recovered from nearly having his flesh ripped from his bones, he was proven innocent. He finally got his diploma and, as expected, didn’t go to college. He also never got around to making it big and leaving the shitty little town he calls home.

Instead he sticks around to continue his own father’s “business”.

Aka, still breaking the law and flying under the radar.

It’s not his fault he never got another chance at an audition in Cali. Record labels just weren’t willing to give him or Hawkins a chance after the shitstorm that hit in ‘86 and the years following.

So when he’s driving alone down a dark side road and he sees red and blue flashing lights, he knows he’s fucked. He’s gonna have to run, and he’ll have a warrant for his arrest because there’s no way he could hide the supply fast enough.

Then he sees Steve. His bad, Officer Harrington.

The moment Steve knocks on his window, Eddie rolls it down and immediately starts his bullshit, flirting and big friendly grins, hoping to distract him from asking if he can search the van. But to his misfortune, Steve rolls his eyes and asks Eddie to step out of the vehicle.

“Shouldn’t you usually ask for my license and registration?” Eddie delays, wondering if he’d be able to lure him away from the drugs.

“I already know who you are and that this van belongs to you. Please step out of the vehicle.” He repeats.

Eddie swallows. Unbelievable. He’s been selling for five years now and Steve’s the one to catch him? He wasn’t even in the act! He just re-upped his supply from Reefer Rick, which is even worse because now he has enough drugs for a small army.

Fuck it. He’s going to jail anyway.

His fight or flight kicks in and he’s running the moment his feet hit the dirt, leaving Steve behind to deal with his van full of paraphernalia.

He hasn’t had to run since that last time in the Upside Down. He’s never been athletically fit, but he was always used to running from a threat.

Steve, on the other hand, has always been a star athlete.

Unfortunately for Eddie, Steve doesn’t stay with the van, instead he chases after him and, man, is he fast.

Steve catches him almost right away, slamming them both to the ground in a pile of aching joints and soon to be bruised limbs.

Steve gives him enough slack to turn around just so they’re nose to nose while the officer straddles the drug dealer’s lap.

“Well, I see the donuts haven’t hindered you any.” Eddie grins because that’s all he can do to stop himself from crying at how unfair his life is.

Then he’s being pulled roughly to his feet. He waits to feel the telltale coolness of cuffs clamping around his wrists, but he doesn’t. At least, not the cold part.

His heart still hammers in his chest, but then he looks down and sees what Steve put on him.

Furry red cuffs. Meant for the bedroom, not the streets.

“Not a word.” Steve warns as Eddie’s eyes widen.

But Eddie laughs even as he trips over his own feet, mind already working over time with what he’s going to say.

“If you wanted me in cuffs so bad, you could have just asked, big boy. You didn’t have to become a cop to do it.”

“Shut up.”

Eddie stops laughing when he remembers the predicament that led to him being placed in the sex cuffs in the first place. He swallows as they near his still running van.

“You gonna stay right there or do I need to put you in my car?”

“I’ll stay.”

Steve takes his time with the search, careful hands uncovering each of the hiding spots.

At least he didn’t rip it apart like he could have.

“Find everything you’re looking for, officer?” Eddie surmises based on the grim expression of his ex-classmate and former crush.

“I was hoping I wouldn’t find anything.” Steve admits with a sigh, and if his hands weren’t currently full of every drug known to man Eddie imagines he’d probably pinch the bridge of his nose.

“Then you shouldn’t have checked. You didn’t have a warrant or consent.”

Steve fixes him with a look that tells Eddie he’s stupider than either of them thought. “But I had probable cause the moment you ran.”

Eddie groans. Of course. He always has to run. He always has to ruin everything for himself. He really is a fuckup.

“You realize I have to take you in now, right?”

“Or you could not?” Eddie tries, hearing how pathetic he sounds.

“Eddie.”

“Steve.” He begs, blinks back the way his eyes feel.

Steve sighs, putting the drugs down to scrub a hand down his face.

What is Steve supposed to do? This could be his big chance. His first solo arrest and a big one at that. He’s not even technically working right now! The hazing would have to stop now. He’d finally have respect. Especially because the entire station hates the Munson name and has a betting pool going for who will finally be the one to bring in Eddie for good.

Not that Steve cared about the betting pool, mind you. Although it couldn’t hurt to cushion his pockets more. Especially after his family officially cut him off after his big decision.

“Okay, look. I won’t bring you in right now.” He emphasizes, doesn’t want to give Eddie the impression that he’s letting him go. “But I will be in the morning.”

Eddie’s face falls, then brightens back up. “So, you’re letting me go for now. What’s that, say, ten hours?”

Steve can already see the gears turning in his head, so he’s quick to shake his head. “No. I said I wouldn’t bring you in yet, I didn’t say I was letting you go so you can evade arrest. You really want another charge?

Eddie deflates. “No. So what now? You just gonna keep me in your sex cuffs overnight? That’s really kinky, Steve. I thought you were more vanilla than that.”

Steve’s face burns but he holds his ground, unwilling to let Eddie overwhelm him like he always does when he gives him that look and smile.

“We’ll leave your van here on the side of the road, and you’ll ride home with me.”

“If you wanted a slumber party you could have just asked. Are you gonna braid my hair too?”

“Do you want me to bring you in tonight?”

“No. I’m just trying to lighten the mood, man. Jeez.” He looks over his van as he watches Steve carefully place the drugs back where he found them. “So what, you just leave this van full of evidence here unattended? What happens if someone robs me? Takes the drugs? What then, officer?” Eddie knows the chance of someone happening across his van and stealing from it is slim to none. He goes down this road because no one else does. No one other than Steve, apparently.

“As much as I don’t want these drugs on the streets—” He levels him with a look Wayne himself has given. “—If they’re not in your possession then I can’t necessarily arrest you for any drug charges, now can I?”

Is Steve serious?

It seems highly unprofessional, but he wouldn’t push his luck by pointing that out. Maybe Steve really does want to help him and this is the only way he knows how.

“Why don’t I just drive the van back to your house? You can keep my keys.” He offers.

“So you can sneak out while I sleep and hotwire it? I don’t think so.” He snorts at Eddie’s half-baked plan. Damn, he knows him too well.

“Fine. So we leave it. God forbid anyone take the drugs—at least I don’t let anyone OD on them.” He helpfully points out. “But if someone does, take them, what then?”

“Then we just had a sleepover. We’ve been over this.”

Eddie narrows his eyes at the cop. This is Steve. But is it the same Steve who helped save his life, who helped exonerate him? What a way to come full-circle.

“Okay,” Eddie finally gives in, what other option does he have? “I’m in.”

“Great. Hop in.”

To his surprise, he’s guided to Steve’s passenger seat rather than the back.

“You sure?” Eddie furrows his brows.

Steve raises his own. “Should I not be?”

Eddie stays silent. He would never hurt anyone, especially Steve, unprompted. But Eddie’s also skeptical.

“Are you gonna take these cuffs off?” He finally asks.

“Nope.” Steve smiles at him for the first time in years.

It makes Eddie’s chest ache.

2.) Anger

Steve is obviously being hazed by the other officers

They took his actual cuffs and left him with these because they didn’t expect him to make any actual arrests. It’s not his fault he’s “too pretty” to be a real officer and eventual chief, and that they think he’ll only ever be seen as a stripper cop. Oh but Steve will show them alright. Starting tomorrow when he brings in Hawkins most prevalent drug dealer.

Who also happens to be Steve’s once unrequited crush.

Steve was hoping to give Eddie one last night of freedom, and more selfishly, give him one last night of spending time with Eddie.

He’d only seen Eddie in passing since they both recovered from their injuries, and even less often this past year. Only ever if his T.O. decided to harass Eddie when he really was just minding his own business at the grocery store or gas station.

But now Eddie was here with him, and he was pissed.

Steve thought they’d come to an agreement but Eddie must have changed his mind because now they were having a screaming match in the middle of Steve’s kitchen and this was not how Steve wanted the night to go.

“Jesus Christ, Eddie, what do you expect from me? I’m just trying to do my job!” Steve cries.

“I expect you to have my back, Steve! Like you did last time we were in a life or death situation, remember? Or did that Steve die in the Upside Down?” Eddie fires back.

He knows he’s being unnecessarily harsh. After all, Steve is technically the one in the right here given morals and you know, the law but Eddie is essentially a wild animal ensnared and desperate for escape. Excuse him for lashing out.

“Life or death? You want to talk life or death, Eddie? You’re the one who’s contributing to the start of an opioid epidemic! How would you feel if someone gets hooked so bad they OD or end up homeless?” Steve’s words pummel Eddie, agitating him more as he defends himself.

“I already told you I don’t let anyone OD!”

“How can you be so sure? Anything can happen, Eddie! This is stupid, this is irresponsible.”

Eddie gets in Steve’s face, and he imagines he’d be a whole lot more intimidating if it wasn’t for Steve’s stupid sex cuffs he’s still wearing. “And leaving a van full of drugs on the street where anyone can get them isn’t? Grow up, Steve. Why do you really have me here?”

Steve cowers back at that, suddenly turning away from Eddie but not before he catches sight of the tears welling in his eyes.

“Aw, come on, Steve.” Eddie tries, feeling his own eyes grow warm with tears. He’s already going to jail, he doesn’t need to feel bad about telling Steve how it is on top of everything else.

Steve doesn’t face him, doesn’t respond.

How could he? How could he explain that he’s alone? That all of the kids have grown and scattered across the country in pursuit of their own college adventures. That Nance is some bigshot reporter in Los Angeles. That Rob is traveling the world. She had wanted Steve to come with her, but when he decided to pursue law enforcement right here in Hawkins, she reached out to someone else. Who would have known Tammy Thompson’s singing voice would be so popular in different countries?

Steve’s happy for them. So fucking happy.

So maybe that’s why he’s so angry he could cry. Because the only person he has left isn’t his, won’t ever be his, especially now that Steve has specifically chosen a career that’s put him on the opposite side of the law than Eddie. It’s the one time since this entire journey of his that he’s truly regretted his decision to become an officer.

3.) Bargaining

“Remember when we saved the world?” Eddie’s eyes are wide, staring deep into Steve’s as he tries to make his case. “You didn’t give up on me then. We worked pretty well together! Why do you have to give up on me now?”

Steve sighs, pinches the bridge of his nose. “It’s more difficult than that, Eddie. I haven’t given up on you. I just have to do this. It’s my job.”

“And selling is my job! I’m not hurting anyone.” Eddie cowers when Steve fixes him with a look.

Maybe he shouldn’t be so overzealous about contributing to the decline of humanity.

“I mean,” he continues, “it’s not like I like my job. It’s just the only one I can do. No one will hire me.”

Steve puts his hands on his hips and Eddie expects him to be chastised for something, but instead Steve only says—

“Your birthday’s coming up. Let me make you a cake. What flavor you want?”

Eddie blinks. Did he hear him correctly? Maybe he got a concussion from when Steve knocked him to the ground earlier. “Officer Harrington, offering to make me a cake? Are you gonna give me a show too?”

“Show? What—” Realization dawns on his face as he takes in Eddie’s cackle. “I’m not a stripper! Fuck you.”

“You wish.” Eddie snorts.

They’re left staring at each other uncomfortably long before Eddie sighs, drags a hand down his face. “Angel food. Out of character, right? I know.”

“I like devil’s food.”

“Really? Devil’s food? Huh.”

Steve nods. “I used to love red velvet.”

“Used to?”

“Can’t anymore. Maybe if I eat it already made, but I can’t deal with the mix anymore.”

Steve doesn’t explain, instead just leaving Eddie to sit there. He doesn’t know much about baking but he thinks he can take a wild guess.

“Blood. It looks like blood, doesn’t it?”

Steve nods, keeps his eyes trained down. Searching his hands for something that used to be there. “Especially the mixer. When it slings the mix around the sides of the bowl? It’s kind of funny how much it looks like blood.”

“Steve.”

“I try not to let it bother me. But it really shaped me, y’know? You don’t realize the things that’ll end up scarring you. I mean, shit, I gave up a stable and well-paying career where I don’t have to do anything more than sit at my desk and yell at some poor person.” He huffs, runs a hand down his face. “Instead I chose a job where I literally run into danger because apparently I didn’t get enough of that knocked into my head with each concussion.”

“You did it because you want to save people, Steve. It’s who you are.” Eddie briefly worries maybe Steve did choose the wrong career. A career that could put his life in danger, or traumatize him further. What if some bloodbath happens and Steve can’t handle it? Stranger things have happened in Hawkins. “Plus you don’t want to yell at some poor person.” He dips his chin, a grin spreading across his face. “You could always quit while you’re ahead, take your cushy office job. I’ll give up my…extracurricular activities and be the assistant you yell at all the time. I’ll know you don’t mean it.” He bargains, tone saccharine and joking but he couldn’t be more serious.

Steve tilts his head, seems to consider it. “While your rap sheet isn’t that long or bad, you still probably wouldn’t get hired.”

Eddie’s smile falls. “Ouch. You wouldn’t hire me?”

“I don’t know if I’d have that kind of power. Plus, I’d have to go get my degree before I could even think about begging my father for the position.”

Eddie frowns. Even if he didn’t want Steve to be an officer of the law, he didn’t want him to waste away in four more years of school only to have to defeat the final boss that is Mr. Harrington himself.

“What if I told you I can turn in some powerful names?” Eddie switches gears. If Steve’s meant to be the do-gooder officer, then he can at least be a do-gooder drug dealer.

Steve narrows his eyes in intrigue, “Like who?”

“Like Kline?” Eddie offers up, voice high.

Steve rolls his eyes. “He’s not the mayor anymore.”

“But he still buys! More so now that he’s hit rock bottom.” When Steve doesn’t respond Eddie sighs. “Okay, how about Principal Higgins? You can’t tell me Hawkins PD wants our youth going to school under that.” He hopes this works. “I can get you all of the important people, the ones who influence today’s youth.” Eddie doesn’t know of much, but maybe he can find out more from Reefer Rick.

Steve’s expression changes. Bingo. “How long has Higgins been buying? Does he use on school property?”

“I’ve personally known since ‘84. Keeps little blue bottles right there in his desk drawer.”

“And they’re not prescription?”

“Unless Reefer Rick got a medical degree and didn’t tell me—”

Steve nods. “Okay, I can work with that. But, Eddie, he’ll just flip on you. Higgins. Rick. Anyone will. They’d get the deal. The disgraced former mayor and Higgins are small fish. Typically we want the big one.”

“You think I’m the big one? I’m flattered, really.” Eddie puts his hand to his chest and flutters his lashes. “Okay, how about Charlie Greene? He’s one of the biggest drug kingpins in Oregon. Weed, coke, heroin, speed, K—if he can’t grow it or cook it himself he imports it.”

This catches Steve’s attention. “Tell me more.”

“He’s got a whole fleet of produce trucks he uses to transport. Farris Farms. Last I saw, there were kilos and kilos of pot wrapped up to look like carrots. I do know of at least two of the guys by name. CJ and Toby.”

Steve visibly brightens, looks a good ten years younger. He pulls out his little pocket notebook and pen. “Last names?”

Eddie winces, “Sorry, I don’t know everything. Didn’t think to ask while I was doing something I shouldn’t have.”

Steve frowns, and Eddie feels like a kicked puppy. Or like he’s the one who kicked the puppy. “Uh huh. And how do you have that connection?”

“Because Al Munson tricked me into stealing their supply to pay them back for something he also stole from them.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“Yeah. Believe it or not that was the first time I’d had guns pointed at me. It was also the first time I got arrested, but I hadn’t actually been arrested for anything they could keep me on. I tried to stop a cop from bleeding out and he vouched for me after he was out of surgery. That’s just about the only time a good deed worked out for me.”

Steve worries his lip just long enough for Eddie to worry it would bleed.

Steve puts his notebook and pen back away in his little uniform pocket, a blue uniform that looks pretty damn good on him. “I’m making you that cake.”

“I appreciate it.”

“Mm hmm. Come on, you can come sit in the kitchen with me.”

After he’s settled in and watching Steve collect the necessary ingredients he speaks, “You saved my life, Steve. I never forgot that. Felt like maybe you did.” Eddie clears his throat, wishes it didn’t sound so hoarse.

Steve barely glances at him before finishing measuring out some sugar. “I haven’t stopped thinking about you. About that night. How close you came to being another body caught in the crossfire.” Steve shudders. “I’m just happy we’re having this conversation.”

“You’re happy you have me in your sex cuffs in your kitchen while you bake me a cake? You’re into some weird stuff, man.”

“That’s not what I mean and you know it, asshole.” But Steve smiles anyway.

Despite the distance between them these last few years, their playful back and forth banter is organic. Eddie appreciates that.

By the time Steve’s caught him up on all the hazing he’s suffered, Eddie’s laughing so hard he barely feels like any time has passed at all.

By the time the cake is out and cooling on a wire rack, Eddie is so taken by the fact that Steve actually seems to want to know about him, that he’s actually interested in him and his life, that Eddie might just find himself on his knees between Steve’s legs—if Steve wasn’t already in that exact position for Eddie.

“I should have known this is what gets you going,” Eddie pants as Steve takes more of him into his mouth, making up the difference with one hand while using his other to explore the expanse of Eddie’s tummy, his thighs, before finally caressing his balls. “I will let you arrest me anytime, big boy.” Eddie promises with a gasp.

Steve can feel Eddie trying not to buck up into his mouth, resisting the temptation to choke him with his cock as Steve moans his appreciation around him. Steve can’t blame him—he’s been teasing him nonstop since he managed to get his hands around Eddie’s handcuff belt buckle, being too gentle, too light, too fleeting when he knows Eddie wants more. Knows they both want more. It’s just serving to amp Eddie up; Steve hopes it’s enough to make up for how this will all end between them.

Steve pulls back to lick around the head of Eddie’s cock, not hiding any of the vulgar, wet noises that come along with it. He looks up at Eddie, who has thrown his head back. Steve moans around the head, speeding up his hand on the base of the shaft.

He pulls off with a lewd pop, forcing Eddie to keep his eyes trained down on him.

Steve thinks Eddie is a vision, he’s certain of it actually. With his hair drooping messily in front of his face, lips parted and a flush high on his cheeks, Steve would do nearly anything for him. Especially with his pale and tattooed chest dusted with an evident blush.

Steve wipes his mouth with the back of his hand before slowly pumping Eddie again. “I don’t want to argue with you,” he says, “and I want you to take what you want.”

He takes Eddie’s hands from where they clench at his own bare thighs and pulls them to rest in his hair. When he can feel Eddie’s grip tensing in his hairspray-stiff waves, Steve puts his mouth back on him, taking him down as far as he can, hollowing his cheeks and sucking like his life depends on it.

Eddie holds him in place for a moment before letting Steve pull back and bob back forward in a quick rhythm.

They can both feel the saliva pooling in Steve’s mouth as he tries to take Eddie deeper and deeper with every pull, swallowing when he can feel Eddie closing in on, and eventually, hitting the back of his throat. He can feel the hands in his hair tightening to the point where he worries Eddie may be causing irreparable damage to his roots. It hurts—but it’s a dull ache, and a welcome one. This is what he wanted.

Steve chances another look up at Eddie with his cock as far down his throat as he can take it without needing to pull off, and he can see Eddie’s eyes trained on his—half-lidded, clouded with pleasure. He’s biting his bottom lip, in effort to not make noise, perhaps? No, that just won’t do, Steve thinks, as he swallows Eddie again, moaning around the hot, thick weight on his tongue.

He’s blessed with a string of sharp expletives from Eddie’s mouth, which would make Steve smile if his mouth wasn’t so full.

He swallows again. At this, he can feel Eddie fight back his climax as he holds on to Steve’s hair as if it’s the only thing keeping him grounded, and finally forces him down to take the rest of him down Steve’s throat.

Steve can feel Eddie come as he’s held there, unable to move or breathe. He could die like this, Steve thinks, and he’d probably be fine with it. It would make for a hell of a story, anyway.

Steve Harrington died doing what he loves: Eddie Munson.

When Eddie finally releases his hold on Steve’s hair, Steve pulls back quickly with a gasp, chest heaving as he catches his breath, but Eddie is already clumsily trying to use his limited range to haul him up for a hungry kiss. The kiss is wet as Eddie seems to be chasing the taste of himself in Steve’s mouth—as if there was anything there to taste with how far he came down his throat.

Steve feels like putty in Eddie’s hands; he doesn’t resist at all when Eddie flips their positions so that Steve’s the one sitting in the kitchen chair, and in another swift movement, twisted again so that his back is flush to Eddie’s front, his front pressed nearly in half against the table.

Eddie attempts to pin him there as he uses both hands to fumble with Steve’s zipper, pulling his jeans down just enough to expose his ass to the cool air.

He withdraws his hands and Steve can hear him spit into his hands before reaching around to grip Steve’s painfully hard cock in his fists.

The position is beyond awkward, with Eddie still being cuffed, but he’s nothing if not determined.

“Next time,” Eddie says, draping his body over Steve’s, looming over him like a warm shadow. He releases his grip in favor to dip a few fingers between the cleft of Steve’s ass, just feeling. “I’m going to fuck you, just like this. Bend you over the table next time you try to convince me you’re not the greatest man to ever live.

Steve groans—he can’t do much of anything else between the sensations around him; Eddie feels too good. Between barely touching him and his threatening promises, Steve is ready to come when Eddie wraps his hands around him once more, jerking him under the table with perfect rhythm. As soon as Eddie dips a finger to tease his small hole on the tip of his cock, that’s all he can handle: he comes hard, shooting across the tiled floor of his kitchen with Eddie’s name on his lips.

He shudders as Eddie pulls him up again, and he’s expecting a rough kiss—but instead, he just gets tenderness. Eddie kisses him sweetly, chastely, even tries his hardest to hold Steve to him, wanting nothing more than a warm embrace. Steve thinks maybe he could and should take off the sex cuffs.

Of all that they’ve just done together, this is what takes Steve’s breath away the most.

4.) Depression

Looking at Steve, Eddie becomes excruciatingly aware of the distance between them.

Steve had apparently retreated into himself. Losing whatever intimate atmosphere that surrounded them right after handing Eddie a glass of water.

In fact, there was so much distance between them that Steve is currently leaning against the opposite kitchen wall, as far from Eddie as possible. He tried not to let it bother him, but Eddie has never been God’s strongest soldier.

After staring at Steve’s profile for too long to count, Eddie speaks, tired of Steve avoiding his eyes.

“Hey, you know—I didn’t even get to properly hug you or anything, man. I mean, I haven’t seen you in forever and we didn’t even, I don’t know, commemorate it or something like that.” Eddie says with furrowed brows.

He sets the empty glass down on the table he held Steve against just minutes ago. “Steve?” Eddie takes a hesitant step forward.

“I…I kinda don’t think that’s a good idea right now, Eds.” Steve finally says, looking away from his floor and up at Eddie with an uncomfortable look in his eyes.

“What?” Eddie scoffs, a little too loud and a little too snappy considering the feelings swirling around inside of him. Maybe that’s exactly why he’s so loud and snappy. “You’re kidding me, right?”

Steve raises his brows, like he’s surprised Eddie isn’t happy with his opinion. “Whoa, you don’t have to be like that, you know. You know exactly why we shouldn’t. I mean I’m happy to see you again, don’t get me wrong, but these circumstances are horrible—” He holds a hand up to stop Eddie from speaking. “—and I’m well aware that it’s my own fault we’re in this situation. I either should have let you go or arrested you immediately, not… complicate things.”

Steve looks away from him again, no need to observe it when he can feel Eddie still staring holes into him.

He knows that if he looks up, he’ll see the hurt in his eyes, the hurt he can hear in his voice.

“You seriously don’t even wanna hug me? Not even a ‘hey, nice to see you, bro’ and a pat on the shoulder? Even after—I can’t believe you right now,” Eddie is really raising his voice now, “I have my dick down your throat, my hand around yours, it’s fine—but somehow hugging me is crossing a line?”

Eddie would basically be screaming right now if his voice wasn’t so choked up and full of suppressed feelings.

“Eddie—” Steve starts softly, but Eddie’s sudden outburst of anger takes him by surprise.

“No! Don’t even start with this crap, with you’re excuses and your, ‘Eddie, be reasonable about this,’ I fucking can’t take it, not from you. I don’t see you, properly see you, in years, I want a fucking hug, or just…something, anything, Steve!”

Steve hadn’t dared to look up during Eddie’s cry.

He didn’t want to hurt him. Why didn’t Eddie just understand that Steve couldn’t give him what he wanted, what he needed so desperately himself? He would make things worse. He just knows it. He already has.

When Eddie stops talking and the silence becomes unbearable, Steve finally looks up.

Eddie hadn’t moved, his back still to the counter, his knuckles white from clutching the surface.

Steve looks up at his face and sees tear tracks down Eddie’s cheek, head down, avoiding Steve’s gaze.

Immediately, Steve steps forward, closing the remaining distance between them and raises a hand towards Eddie’s red and dampened cheek, brushing a stray tear off with his thumb just in time before Eddie’s cuffed hand reaches his face.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry, Eddie.” Against his better judgment, Steve closes his arms around him, pulling him close.

He feels Eddie’s chin wobble in the dent of his shoulder.

“I didn’t wanna hurt you. I really didn’t.” Steve starts, but Eddie cuts him off, pulling away to create enough space between them to look Steve in the eye.

“No, it’s fine, I just…” Eddie drifts off.

It’s not fine. Nothing about this night is fine. The first time he’s ever been able to be intimate with Steve, able to show some hint of how he really feels about him, and the memory will forever be tarnished by how this night will end. Of course it hadn’t began so good either.

Eddie spent the last hours of daylight scrubbing his uncle’s headstone clean from red graffiti which read awful and completely untrue things about him. Wayne was never a bad man; but the Munson name carries a reputation. After that, Eddie made the split-decision to pick up more than usual from Rick, not wanting to see him again until next week instead of their every-other-night dealings. Then flashing red and blue lights in his rearview mirror, and Steve in a blue uniform.

This night has been horrible. Steve was just about the only good thing about it.

Eddie might as well enjoy the time he has left.

5.) Acceptance

Eddie’s heart aches for reasons that are probably more psychological than physical, especially when Steve takes Eddie’s face into his hands, soothingly running his right thumb up and down his cheek. This time, however, Eddie gives into the touch.

He moves his head just enough for the next caring stroke to brush over his lower lip instead of Eddie’s cheek like Steve had intended.

Steve pauses, as if unsure what to do, but Eddie’s made his decision.

He kisses the tip of Steve’s thumb.

When Steve doesn’t react, Eddie takes it a step further, parting his lips to wrap around his fingertip.

Steve can feel the warmth and wetness of Eddie’s mouth on his skin; can feel arousal stir in his gut once more. He presses his thumb into Eddie’s mouth, watches the way Eddie sucks on the digit before his eyes fixate onto Eddie’s.

Once Eddie gets a good taste of his skin, he releases Steve’s thumb with a soft plop, only audible because the kitchen is so deadly quiet.

Steve looks startled for a second, as if waking from a dream he didn’t even realize he was having.

Eddie’s mind fills with dark thoughts and a further spiraling mood.

“Sorry man, that was really weird, sorry.” He hastily spits out, taking a step back out of whatever pocket dimension they’ve found themselves trapped in.

Before he realizes it, tears start spilling from his eyes again. God, what was wrong with him? He’s been through much worse than getting rejected by some guy.

Steve watched him closely, letting Eddie keep his small distance until the tears start back up. Now he steps forward, slowly nearing Eddie as he would a dangerous animal, prepared to be torn to shreds for his next move.

He cups Eddie’s chin and tilts it upwards until their eyes meet. “Please stop crying.”

Eddie isn’t sure if he can do that… But he can do this.

With a only a second of reaction time and a small moan he’ll deny until his dying breath, Eddie meets Steve’s lips in a desperate, wet kiss. One Steve instantly returns.

Their kiss, only their second kiss, increases in neediness and lust so fast that Eddie can’t hold back the noticeably louder moans that make Steve kiss him even harder.

Steve is sure that his heart will burst and his lungs will collapse but he just can’t let go of Eddie, can’t let this opportunity get away. He loves him.

He’s basically shoving Eddie against the counter now, rubbing his hips against the gasping and moaning mess of a man.

When the sharp pain in Eddie’s lower back from where the edge of the counter presses into him increases to unbearable amounts, he finally pulls off for air and looks into Steve’s wide, familiar eyes. He knows his own must be reflecting that look of want.

But instead of pushing Eddie away again or taking his pants off, Steve pulls Eddie close and holds him tight; like he’ll lose him if he lets go. In a way, he will and they both know that.

Eddie inhales the familiar scent of Steve’s shirt. He never got to see what brand of cologne Steve uses, but Eddie knows it’s the same one he wore back in ‘86; he’d wager it’s probably Calvin Klein’s Obsession for men.

Steve presses a kiss on Eddie’s forehead, over his messy and probably sweaty bangs but it doesn’t seem to bother him any because he starts kissing a line along Eddie’s neck, jaw and cheek until their foreheads are pressed together and his hands are back to cupping Eddie’s face.

“Bedroom?” Eddie asks, breathless.

“Yeah, lets do that.”

With that, Eddie takes Steve’s offered hand, still wearing the stupid sex cuffs so it’s a bit awkward as Steve drags him through the kitchen door and through the short hallway to his bedroom.

Once within a reasonable distance from Steve’s bed, Eddie is suddenly pushed onto the mattress.

It’s not that he’s particularly scared of being pushed, especially by Steve, but with his hands bound and unable to catch himself it startles him. Before he can voice his disapproval, Steve is crawling on top of him, his strong arms holding Eddie down as he covers his lips in needy kisses—as if Eddie even needed to be held down.

When Steve rocks his hips against Eddie in a desperate attempt to satisfy his already hardened dick, Eddie suddenly stops all movements as he uses both hands to push against Steve’s chest.

When Steve sees the unsure look on his face and feels the pressure on his chest, he distances himself. “Oh, shit, did you not want to—”

“No, um, it’s just… Well, what’s the game plan here, Harrington? I mean, are w—are you gonna fuck me?” Eddie bites the inside of his cheek, adding a hasty—“Because I’d really like that.”

“Oh, yeah, Eds. I would really like that too.” Steve smiles before adding on—“But I look forward to you bending me over my own kitchen table some time.”

Eddie nods, wide-eyed. He can’t believe this is actually happening. Wayne is probably rolling over in his grave right now. Not because he’s against this way of life, despite being Catholic, but because he’d clocked Eddie’s crush years ago and Eddie had vehemently denied it to the point of blaring his music at an even more disrespectful volume than usual. He supposes he owes him an apology now.

Maybe Steve will take him to the cemetery to say it, and goodbye.

“But… Neither of us have done this before…right?” Eddie questions, wondering if instinct and common sense will just take over.

Steve bites his bottom lip, genuine concern in his eyes as he considers how exactly they’re meant to have sex. “Right, but I think if we go slow it’ll be okay. But only if you want it, though.”

“No, yeah, I trust you.” Eddie confirms with a nod.

“Okay. If you change your mind, you’ll tell me, right?”

“Yes.”

“Even if I’m already inside?”

Eddie would roll his eyes if it wasn’t for knowing Steve is just trying to be a good person. “Yes, Steve.”

“Even if we’ve been doing it for a little bit and it could almost be done but you change your mind—”

“Yes, Steve, I understand! Just fuck me already!” Eddie exclaims, just about ready to get himself off when Steve kisses him so dirty that Eddie can’t help but moan into his mouth.

“Fuck, I didn’t know you could be like this.” Eddie admits, always envisioning Steve to be a missionary and vanilla man. A straight man too.

“Yeah, well, you’re in for a treat, baby.”

Before Eddie can make a smug remark, Steve starts to kiss his way down to Eddie’s neck as he uses his left hand to explore under his shirt and circle the only nipple Eddie has left, which forces a surprised moan out of him. He had lost quite a bit of sensitivity after the demobats damaged the nerves under his skin, but there’s something about Steve’s touch that lights a fire beneath his skin.

Steve sucks a mark into Eddie’s neck, and Eddie hopes it will be visible for days after even if it might put him on his cellmate’s radar. Eddie’s no bitch, but he also knows sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to to survive.

Steve slides his other hand under Eddie’s shirt, pulling it up and forcing them to break their contact in order to slip the shirt over Eddie’s head.

“Steve, can you please take off your damn sex cuffs? I mean, they’re great and all but—” he shakes his hands to show how the shirt had gotten tangled.

“Shit, yeah. Hold on…” Steve fumbles in his pants pocket before retrieving a little key, finally freeing Eddie’s wrists.

Eddie immediately rubs at them. They’re not exactly sore, but they are clammy and tender.

“You okay?” Steve asks, reaching for Eddie’s hands as he looks over them with a careful eye.

“They’re fine. Please just get me out of these jeans.” He begs, wiggling his hips.

Steve smirks and goes directly back to Eddie’s body, giving one particularly harsh bite on the lone nipple. He laughs when Eddie’s hips buck up and his hands bury themselves in Steve’s hair.

Steve’s desire to get Eddie naked is much stronger than teasing Eddie any longer, so he follows the request gladly and unbuckles Eddie’s belt, gently pulling the tight jeans down. After a hesitant look up to Eddie, who nods slightly, he pulls his boxers down too before discarding both onto the floor.

“Fuck.” Steve says breathlessly as he takes in Eddie’s completely nude body, his own arousal heightened as he gets to see Eddie in a way he’d never gotten to before.

He wastes no time in pulling off his uniform, which he both thanks and curses for Eddie being beneath him at this moment.

When he’s naked, Eddie just stares. Eyes wide, mouth agape. He hadn’t gotten a good view earlier, but now he gets to see… Well, he gets to see that Steve has once again been unfairly blessed with literally everything. He regrets never trying to be on any sports team that would warrant him to have to change and shower in the locker room with Steve.

But Eddie doesn’t have a whole lot of time to admire the muscles, the face, the beautifully curved dick and everything else that will forever accompany his dreams, though, because Steve fixes him with a smug smirk before speaking.

“Like what you see, Munson?” Before giving the still speechless Eddie another sloppy kiss.

When Steve pulls away for breath Eddie laughs, “I never thought I’d see the day where you take off my pants.”

“Really?” Steve grins, “I always kind of knew it was gonna happen. Or at least I had very strong hopes.”

“Fuck me!” Eddie exclaims, the new emotion of annoyance making itself known within him thanks to the knowledge that he and Steve could have done this so many years ago if only he wasn’t such a judging idiot.

They’d probably be having sex in their own apartment right now instead of this hookup before Steve takes him to jail, if only Eddie had pursued him sooner—or at all.

Before he can get too deep in his head, he carefully puts his hand around Steve’s dick.

He moves his hand down to the base and Steve notices he’s looking at the tip of his dick, where a little precome had gathered.

Pausing his movements, Eddie looks up at Steve with an almost hopeful look in his eyes. “Can I blow you?

A blush crosses Steve’s face, any cockiness long gone by Eddie’s words. “Yeah, sure.” Then he changes positions with Eddie so that his back is against his headboard, and Eddie is straddling Steve’s legs as he swallows him down with no hesitation.

Eddie gives it his all, like Steve expected he would, like Steve himself had done.

Steve watches Eddie through half-lidded eyes, in too much pleasure to stare with widened eyes but not wanting to miss a second as he watches Eddie.

Eddie’s confidence is only boosted by the look on Steve’s face, and the many noises Steve makes as he continuously takes more of Steve’s enormous cock into his mouth.

He wastes no time, pushing down as deep as he can go, moving up again and simultaneously cupping Steve’s balls with his left hand.

Steve’s half-closed eyes now shut completely as he thumps his head back against the wall with animalistic groan that would have made Eddie worry if he wasn’t so fucking turned on.

“Fuck, Eds, oh God, why are you so good at his?” Steve asks with his hand in Eddie’s hair, who slurps at and sucks Steve’s dick as if his life depended on it; in a way, Eddie thinks it might.

“Oh God, you need to stop though, Eds, if we want this to go any further, you really have to not make me come right now.” Steve urges, tugging at Eddie’s hair.

With a pop, Eddie pulls off and immediately crawls up to Steve, letting him taste his own dick in a dirty kiss.

Eddie’s own cock was aching to be touched now as he turns to lie down on the empty side of the bed to give Steve the opportunity to take care of him now; and Steve intended to.

He kisses Eddies belly, touching every inch of skin he can find, before startling Eddie into a moan with a wide lick across his balls.

While moving onto Eddie’s dick and taking the tip into his mouth, Steve fumbles around for his nightstand drawer, opening and closing it.

He sucks Eddie hard, before pulling away altogether to get a good look at his flushed face.

Steve looks at the condom he has in hand before meeting Eddie’s eyes. “Have you had something inside you before?”

“Yeah… Nothing compared to what you’re carrying but I’ve experimented here and there. Never had an actual dick up there, though.”

Steve nods, thinks to himself before reaching for his bottle of lotion, grateful it’s the unscented kind. “Okay, I’m gonna start slow. Tell me when to stop.”

Eddie nods, not pointing out Steve said when and not if.

Steve grabs one of the pillows Eddie isn’t lying on and helps Eddie to tuck it under his hips before lifting his legs up for easier access.

There’s something about the way Eddie looks at him, so trusting and open for him. It feels so intimate to Steve that he almost can’t stand it.

Steve tries to warm the lotion in hand, but Eddie still flinches when he slowly inserts one finger and it slips it in oh so easily, pushing past the rim and into Eddie’s warm body.

“More.” Eddie requests before Steve had even started moving.

Steve complies as he carefully pushes a second one in, feeling Eddie tighten. He studies his face carefully for any sign of discomfort or regret before he starts moving his fingers in a gentle but steady pace.

“We’re gonna need a third one.” Eddie says through a particularly loud moan as Steve thrusts his two fingers deep and hard into a spot that Eddie has only ever felt on his own self-fulfilled adventures.

So after a bit more lotion, Steve does push a third one in and Eddie melts under his touch.

Steve’s fingers were perfect for this, Eddie thinks as he floats away, not able to stop smiling even while Steve pounds his fingers into him. If this is how could three fingers can make him feel, he can not wait for the real thing.

“Steve, I’m ready.” He moans desperately.

Relieved, Steve smiles at Eddie as he pulls his cramping hand free to put on the condom. He isn’t even worried that Eddie has anything, he just hopes the lubrication it has with it will help Eddie with the stretch.

He looks at Eddie’s expectant face, his beautiful body and positions his throbbing cock at Eddie’s hole. With a deep groan, Steve slowly slides his aching cock into Eddies tight, hot ass.

Eddie screams out, though it ends on a keening mewl. With the stretch of his asshole, what feels like fire igniting throughout him, he can already tell he’ll be sore tomorrow.

“Fuck.” Eddie whispers, tears already threatening to spill down his face.

“Fuck.” Steve echoes him, his voice hoarse like he’d been the one who was screaming.

Steve slows himself once fully sheathed, doesn’t move a single inch. He runs a soothing hand over Eddie’s tummy. “You okay?”

Eddie blinks back his tears and nods his head. “‘M good, Steve, don’t stop, fuck. I’m good, I want—I want it. Want you.”

When Steve looks like he’s having doubts, Eddie closes his eyes. “Just don’t pull out, please.” He mumbles.

“You sure, sweetheart? I can get something else. Vaseline maybe—”

“No,” Eddie squeaks. Pushes back onto Steve. “Feels good, the pain.” He reaches up, fingers grazing the tanned muscles of Steve’s arm, over his chest and through the hair that rests there. He looks even hairier than the time on Lover’s Lake when he nearly drowned just before getting mauled by demobats. They survived for a reason, he concludes.

Eddie smiles. At Steve, to himself. “Want it hard,” he confesses breathily.

The tenderness of Steve’s hazel eyes makes him feel safe. Wanted. Makes him never want to be out of Steve’s sight, be without his attention.

Steve brings his own hand down to Eddie’s waist, squeezes him gently before snapping his hips roughly, suddenly, drawing those keening noises out from Eddie’s lips once more.

He pushes Eddie’s legs to his chest and holds them there, pulling out just to push into the deeper angle a second later, making Eddie let out a punched out noise as Steve hits his prostate head on.

Pleased with the reaction, Steve pulls out again and pushes back in, harder this time and as deep as he could go, watching Eddie’s face the whole time.

He isn’t disappointed. The little show Eddie seems to be subconsciously putting on only gets better with each thrust. His mouth opens in a gasp at each intrusion and his head settles further into the pillow beneath it.

With hands clenching the sheets, he whispers. “Yeah, just like that, Steve.”

“Oh, you like that?“ Steve teases even as he sweats more than he did when he was finding out if he passed the single most important exam of his life. “You want me to fuck you really hard tonight?”

Not waiting for an answer to his rhetorical question, he begins really fucking into Eddie now, pounding him into the mattress. He goes so hard, he worries it’ll be too much for Eddie, or for him.

But judging by the the sounds Eddie is making, he’s enjoying himself; if a little overwhelmed, crying out every time Steve buries his thick cock in him. Despite the tears streaming down his face, the wild grin on his face and painful looking erection shows Steve exactly how much he loves it.

When Steve changes the angle, spreading his legs a little, Eddie honest to God thinks he’s about to die. Die from being fucked by this incredible man. A cop, his brain reminds him. He supposes this is what they meant when they say “fuck the police”.

The mixture of pleasure and pain begins to be too much for him, and he knows an orgasm will be punched out of him very soon.

Steve seems to knows this too.

A deep sob escapes Eddie’s mouth when Steve thrusts into him particularly hard.

“Shhh, come on, Eds, I know you want to come with me inside you so deep. Because you’re so full right now, baby, and I can feel you clenching around me. So fucking tight. Do you like it like that, your dick untouched and me pushing into you while you moan so desperately? Come for me, baby. I missed you so much, Eds.”

And with that, Eddie utters a surprised sound as he comes all over their chests, making a bigger mess with each increasingly desperate thrust from Steve.

Through the haze of his orgasm, Eddie can feel Steve shaking and with one, two last pushes and a guttural almost painful groan, he closes his eyes and comes deep into Eddie, his whole body pressing Eddie into the mattress, filling the condom with his come.

They both secretly wish there hadn’t been one.

Eddie’s exhausted when he comes down from the headspace he’s occupied. His face buried deep into Steve’s pillow, drool threatening to leak out of the corner of his mouth, eyes half-closed and blurry to his surroundings. His untouched cock is as sensitive as his hole when Steve pulls out. It’s almost a relief, he had been so desperate to be smothered by the weight of Steve Harrington that he’s realized he can finally breath again.

But something in his mind short circuits as Steve moves off of him, getting back and away.

Eddie can hear him enter his bathroom, turn on the sink, but he can’t convince himself it’s okay.

Steve has left him.

But just as soon as Eddie is ready to cry for an entirely different reason, Steve is back in Eddie’s personal space with a cool and damp washcloth wiping gently over his skin. Pressing lightly in a slow wipe across his belly and ass. Steve is careful, knowing Eddie is tender and raw. That’s enough to make Eddie want to cry again.

When he finishes cleaning him up, Steve lies down beside Eddie, wrapping a protective arm around him.

They stay like that in silence for quite some time before Eddie comes back to himself and lets out a sort of laugh that doesn’t sound quite right to either of them.

Eddie says, “Okay, dude, all I wanted was a hug.”

Steve rolls his eyes and pushes Eddie a little before pulling him back in tighter than before. “One day, I wanna be fucked like that by you.” Steve says as if it were nothing, prompting Eddie to wiggle out of his hold to face him.

“Oh, we can arrange that. I believe they’re called conjugal visits?”

Steve gives him a look. “You’re ridiculous, you know that?”

Eddie mirrors him. “Are you just figuring this out?”

Steve smiles and shakes his head at the ceiling. “Does it ever drive you crazy just how fast the night changes?”

Eddie follows Steve’s gaze to the popcorn ceiling. “That’d make a really good song lyric.”

“You’re right. It’d totally be pop.”

Eddie looks at the other, aghast. “No way, Harrington. It’d be metal, rock. At the very worst it’d be country. Not pop.”

Steve only grins. “Sure, Munson, whatever you say.”

Eddie says nothing as he watches Steve’s bedside clock show the new morning hour. They really did have a sleepover, a real one where no one actually sleeps. “You have to take me in now, don’t you?”

Steve leans over him to check the clock. 5:30. “I do.” Eddie would swear Steve actually sounds disappointed.

Eddie swallows the lump building in his throat. “That’s okay. You gave me one last night of freedom, and man was it an experience.”

Warmth blooms across Steve’s face and down his chest. “I wish I didn’t have to.” He admits with a sigh, pulling Eddie closer once more.

Eddie doesn’t indulge in the fantasies any longer. “It’s for the best. You said it yourself, the little fish will flip on me anyway. Best if I go willingly, right? Maybe work out some deal.”

Steve nods, but doesn’t say anything more.

As the minutes count down until they have to leave their little pocket dimension, Eddie begins to cry again.

He won’t admit he’s crying over Steve, instead he turns up the drama to hide his real feelings just as he always has. “I haven’t got to watch Graveyard Shift yet. Misery. Night of the Living Dead. Or fuckin’…Edward Scissorhands. Ghost. Beetlejuice. Heathers. Winona Ryder is pretty hot. So is Patrick Swayze. Sue me.”

Steve says nothing as Eddie rambles and bemoans all the movies he hasn’t seen yet, how many he’ll miss, he just wraps his arms around him tighter.

6.) Hope

2014.

Eddie’s hair was still the same length as it was when he began his sentence, keeping it trimmed through the years. His hair is now streaked with gray, looking more salt and pepper verses the dark brown he had in his youth. Even if his personal style is long since out of style, it’s still his style.

He pushes some of his hair out of his eyes when he sees a silver SUV pull in front of him.

He’s about to look behind him to see who else might be getting released when Steve rolls down the passenger window, smiling at him from the driver’s seat. “Need a ride?”

Eddie grins, jumping to his feet as he approaches the shiny silver vehicle. “Downgraded, huh?”

“Who needs a BMW in their forties?”

“You look like a soccer mom in this thing.” Eddie snickers as he climbs in and buckles up without being asked.

“That’s the thanks I get for picking your grimy ass up?” Steve shakes his head but still has that smile. He’s aged too, Eddie realizes.

Steve’s hair is shorter now, less big. No product. He’s got crow’s feet around his eyes, which are adorned by a really nice pair of browline glasses that suit him.

Eddie feels his heart skip a beat.

“Want to hear some music?” Steve asks suddenly. “I got a new CD in I think you might like.”

“Sure, yeah. Why not? Might as well see what the world’s been up to while I was away.” Eddie agrees with a nod; anything to distract him from how Steve has apparently aged like fine wine.

“Awesome.” Steve presses the play button, and Eddie sees it’s on track seven.

Goin’ out tonight, changes into something red

Her mother doesn’t like that kind of dress

Everything she never had she’s showin’ off

“Hey, Steve, what is this shit?” Eddie looks at him incredulously. He’s always known Steve had a shitty taste in music but this is a new low.

“Just listen.” He cranks it up.

Drivin’ too fast, moon is breakin’ through her hair

She’s headin’ for somethin’ that she won’t forget

Havin’ no regrets is all that she really wants

“Is this song about a girl losing her virginity?” Eddie almost laughs.

“Just listen!” Steve insists.

We’re only gettin’ older, baby

And I’ve been thinkin’ about it lately

Does it ever drive you crazy

Just how fast the night changes?

Eddie has such a visceral reaction to that last line that he can’t help but to listen more closely. “No! Seriously?”

“Seriously!” Steve exclaims, excited as he begins to drum the beat on the steering wheel, even going as far as singing along.

Everything that you’ve ever dreamed of

Disappearing when you wake up

But there’s nothing to be afraid of

Even when the night changes

It will never change me and you

Eddie shakes his head. “I can’t believe this.”

Chasing it tonight, doubts are runnin’ ‘round her head

He’s waitin’, hides behind a cigarette

Heart is beatin’ loud and she doesn’t want it to stop

“We could have had a hit song.” Steve supplies as he makes a right turn.

Movin’ too fast, moon is lightin’ up her skin

She’s fallin’, doesn’t even know it yet

Havin’ no regrets is all that she really wants

“This is insane.”

We’re only gettin’ older, baby

And I’ve been thinkin’ about it lately

Does it ever drive you crazy

Just how fast the night changes?

Everything that you’ve ever dreamed of

Disappearing when you wake up

But there’s nothing to be afraid of

Even when the night changes

It will never change me and you

“Steve, I can’t believe this.”

Goin’ out tonight, changes into something red

Her mother doesn’t like that kind of dress

Reminds her of the missin’ piece of innocence she lost

We’re only gettin’ older, baby

And I’ve been thinkin’ about it lately

Does it ever drive you crazy

Just how fast the night changes?

Everything that you’ve ever dreamed of

Disappearing when you wake up

But there’s nothing to be afraid of

Even when the night changes

It will never change, baby

It will never change, baby

It will never change me and you

As the song finally comes to an end, Steve turns off the radio awaiting Eddie’s review.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Seriously?” Eddie asks, still in disbelief.

Steve nods his head with a grin. “Night Changes. Teens love One Direction, that’s the band.”

Eddie surprises even himself by playing it back, listening to the lyrics as Steve continues to finger drum and sing.

“They’re pop.” Eddie acknowledges.

“They sure are.”

Eddie catches a glimpse of himself in the side mirror, he turns to look back at Steve who catches his eye with a smile.

“So is it true?”

“Is what true?”

“That even when the night changes, it’ll never change me and you.”

Fin.

-

Tags! @soulsofstarsliveinyourveins @steddiecameraroll @goblinpoet I hope it was worth the wait <3 Sorry for the delay, like Stevie up here ^ I'm 22 and trying to figure out what I'm doing with my life so I spent the past week corresponding with... My college! Yeah, I got accepted into college, baby! I'm so worried I'm gonna fail out.

[jaimemes]

oh before i forget. heres that timeline i compiled regarding cedric and adeline. keep in mind that THIS TIMELINE ASSUMES ALL DOCUMENTS ARE REAL AND CORRECT. which. tbh. i dont think they are.

Timeline

1979

March 27, 1979 — Adeline Hargrove was born in Spikemuth to Mavis and Arthur Hargrove

1981

January 5, 1981 — Cedric Smith was born in Wyndon to Emily and Abraham Smith.

1982

1983

1984

Fall 1984 — Adeline Hargrove enrolled at Ysgol Gymraeg Casnewydd as a Year 1 student

1985

1986

1987

1988

1989

1990

Fall 1990 — Adeline Hargrove enrolled at Ysgol Gyfun Rhydfelen as a Year 7 student.

1991

1992

1993

Summer 1993 — Adeline Hargrove begins receiving paychecks from a local pub in Spikemuth.

1994

1995

May 25, 1995 — Adeline Hargrove finishes compulsory education and graduates from Ysgol Gyfun Rhydfelen.

1996

1997

Sometime in 1997 — Adeline Hargrove moved to Hulbury to live with Desmond Morris

1998

April 30, 1998 — Adeline Hargrove married to Desmond Morris

1999

2000

August 24, 2000 — William Hargrove was born in Hulbury to Adeline and Desmond Hargrove

2001

2002

2003

2004

February 11, 2004 — Kaitlyn Hargrove was born in Hulbury to Adeline and Desmond Hargrove

2005

2006

2007

January 5, 2007 — Flynn Hargrove was born in Wyndon to Adeline Hargrove and Cedric Smith

2008

May 4, 2008 — Adeline Hargrove filed for divorce from Desmond Hargrove

June 2008 — Adeline Hargrove moved to 534 Sanford Streets, Apt. 203, JM17 3RQ, Spikemuth, Galar

2009

October 11, 2009 — Cedric Smith married Adeline Hargrove

July 9, 2009 — Adeline Hargrove boarded one-way flight to Anistar City, Kalos.

2010

April 17, 2010 — Adeline Hargrove boarded one-way flight to Spikemuth, Galar.

November 23, 2010 — Esper Hargrove was born in Wyndon to Adeline and Cedric Hargrove.

2011

2012

2013

2014

2015

2016

2017

Late 2017 — Cedric Hargrove was added to the lease agreement of 534 Sanford Streets, Apt. 203, JM17 3RQ, Spikemuth, Galar

2018

June 28, 2018 — Dental operation for Flynn Hargrove

Fall 2018 — Esper Hargrove enrolled in Milton Primary School as a Year 4 student

Fall 2018 — Flynn Hargrove enrolled in Spikemuth High School as a Year 7 student

2021

Fall 2021 — Esper Hargrove enrolled in Spikemuth High School as a Year 7 student

2022

November 15, 2022 — The Second Darkest Day occurs. Flynn Hargrove is missing, presumed dead. Juno Myers is confirmed dead.

[vintage1981]

Actress and Author, Lara Parker, of Dark Shadows, Passes at 84

Lara Parker, who found the role of a lifetime at just 28 years old when she was cast by Dark Shadows producer Dan Curtis as the beautiful, vengeful and altogether evil witch Angelique Bouchard Collins, died October 12 in her sleep in Los Angeles following a battle with cancer. She was 84.

Her death was announced by producer Jim Pierson of Dan Curtis Productions, on behalf of Parker’s family.

“I’m heartbroken, as all of us are who knew and loved her,” said her Dark Shadows co-star and longtime friend Kathryn Leigh Scott in a statement. “She graced our lives with her beauty, talent and friendship, and we are all richer for having had her in our lives.”

Parker was born Mary Lamar Rickey on Oct. 27, 1938, in Knoxville, Tennessee. Her father, Albert, was an attorney, and her mother, Ann, was active in civic groups.

She graduated from Central High School in Memphis and attended Vassar — she roomed with Jane Fonda there — and Rhodes College in Memphis, where at 19 she served as Wink Martindale’s assistant on his WHBQ-TV show, Dance Party. She then earned a master’s degree from the University of Iowa.

Parker, who also authored four popular Dark Shadows-related novels from 1998-2016, arrived on the supernatural soap opera in 1967, not long after Canadian actor Jonathan Frid had been cast as vampire Barnabas Collins. Frid’s storyline changed the show from a moody, Gothic Jane Eyre-type serial into a flat-out horror show.

During breaks in production, Parker acted on Broadway in September 1968 in Woman Is My Idea, which lasted just five performances, and in the early Brian De Palma film Hi, Mom! (1970), starring Robert De Niro.

And toward the end of the daytime serial, she and fellow castmembers including John Karlen, Kate Jackson, David Selby and Grayson Hall appeared in the poorly received MGM film Night of Dark Shadows (1971).

In 1972, Parker relocated to Los Angeles and went on to appear on episodes of such shows as Medical Center, Kojak, The Rockford Files, Police Woman, Kolchak: The Night Stalker (as a witch) and The Incredible Hulk, where she played David Banner’s first wife in a flashback sequence in the pilot.

In her later years, Parker turned to writing and teaching — her novels include Angelique’s Descent (1998), The Salem Branch (2006), Wolf Moon Rising (2013) and Heiress of Collinwood (2016). The books proved popular among Dark Shadows‘ still-devoted, conventions-attending fan base, as well as devotees of romance and horror genre novels.

Parker kept in touch with her co-stars including Scott, Selby, Roger Davis, the late John Karlen and others throughout her life, particularly once the conventions became annual events in the late 1980s through the 1990s and up to the 50th anniversary celebration in 2017.

Many of the original cast, including Parker, recorded a series of Dark Shadows audio dramas in the 2000s released by Big Finish Productions. They also reunited for a “Smartphone Theatre” Zoom-style, Covid-era performance of A Christmas Carol in 2021 and, on Halloween night 2020, a YouTube/Zoom Dark Shadows cast reunion.

Parker is survived by second husband Jim Hawkins, daughter Caitlin, sons Rick and Andy, and their wives Miranda and Celia; and grandson Wesley.

[divinadeath]

wait till you hear about this next nominee: byun junho, born on the 15th of february, 1997 and bears a striking resemblance to cha eunwoo. they’re a first year bachelor of law student and started a charitable foundation focused on providing educational resources for underprivileged kids — impressed yet? rumor has it they’re hoping to be the ceo of his family's motel chain, but personally, i think they should aim a little higher — something like the king’s club, for one. now, that suits them a little more, don’t you think? guess we’ll just have to see if they’ve got the talent for it in our upcoming recruitment round. 

hello, guys! i'm tina (23, she/her) and i'm really looking forward to writing with you all! my mind is a little… feverish right now since i'm kinda sick, but i'll try to make sense here. if you want to plot something for our muses, hmu or like this, and i'll be in your dms. more about my angsty boy junho can be found under the read more.

UNTIL 2016

coming from a new money family, junho never took anything he had for granted. as a kid, he was always seen as kind and loved by all his family's employees for being so down to earth.

he always had this dream of helping people with his family's money since the whole lavish lifestyle never really suited him (even though his parents protested). you'd often see him giving away his toys and clothes to random kids he met.

even though he was passionate about it, his parents never took it seriously. to them, it was just a silly kid's dream, and they figured he'd eventually forget about it and start hanging out with more influential people.

that actually happened when they enrolled him in a prestigious school, and junho quickly realized he could be much more helpful if he was on the good side of these kids' families.

he started to dress and talk more like them, but deep down, he knew that even with his best efforts, he could never be like them since his family and their scandalous empire were never taken seriously.

sometime around high school, he decided to focus on other things instead, like becoming an exemplary student and giving another shot at trying to help people with a charity he planned himself and that was enough to him to ended up in snu.

being recruited for the club wasn't something he expected; it caught him by surprise. but all that determination and hunger for acceptance came rushing back, and he started giving his best to get in—even though he knew beating hyungseo would be almost impossible.

then the impossible happened—hyungseo died. he was actually happy that the competition was gone, and he could finally enjoy being part of something important.

UNTIL 2024

during his time in uni, he made good use of his connections, using them to distance himself from his family's brand and build a career of his own in law.

by the time he graduated, he had the best opportunities laid out for him and started working at one of the biggest law firms in the country, using the silent power of the club to reach even higher.

he was almost certain he could just take the money from the family, build a respectable legacy, and live among the other wealthy without being looked down.

but then, of course, his dad had to ruin everything and died… leaving junho very mad about it and with a legacy he wasn’t looking for.

now he was trapped again by his family name and the chain he hated so much, this time with no escape route since all the money came from it.

he doesn’t really know how to run a business and is struggling a lot with it, which adds insult to injury. but again, he’s determined to make good use of it and maybe a rebrand in the future so people forget about his father legacy.

PERSONALITY

junho is incredibly driven, always pushing himself to prove he’s more than just his family’s reputation. he genuinely cares about others and wants to make a difference, even though this is kinda forgotten in him. he feels a lot of pressure to fit into the elite world.

he often struggles with self-doubt and frustration, especially when balancing his values with what’s expected of him.

despite the challenges—like managing his family’s business and climbing the social ladder—he stays resilient and adaptable. junho is smart and strategic, using his connections and opportunities to his advantage.

although he’s constantly seeking approval and dealing with insecurities, his charm and natural charisma help him build influential relationships.

ambitious as ever, junho is determined to surpass his family’s success and leave his own mark.

glimpses of his conflicted self are hard for others to see, but they're there. somewhere inside, he’s still that kid who just wanted to be a good guy, but it’s hard now when he’s trying not to be a joke.

CONNECTIONS

i don't have anything in particular and would love to brainstorm something unique for our muses, or maybe fit in some connection you already have in mind!

[suzuran777]

Revisiting Gakuen Handsome: Backstory + short review

I think every BL fan has seen something related to Gakuen Handsome at some point in their lives, it's a parody BL visual novel with quite the legacy. It was originally released in 2010 by Team YokkyuFuman and it also got its own OVA and anime adaptation in 2015 & 2016. The protagonist, who is an unnamed seventeen year old boy, moves back to the city after a seven year absence. He enrolls into Baramon High School, a prestigious all-boys school which takes pride in being the best of its prefecture. From now on, his life will be changed forever...

First of all, the developer team's backstory is probably one of the most unique ones. In 2008, eight film students from the Tohoku University of Art and Design formed Team YokkyuFuman (チーム欲求腐満). Their blog mentions that a year later, they attempted to submit the Gakuen Handsome opening movie to the 9th edition of the Niconico Film Festival (their submission was completely ignored). After that, the opening movie was uploaded on NicoNico Douga, where it was quite well received. The description of the video mentions “to be released in 20009”, as they originally probably had no intention to create a full game.

After it became a hot topic on NicoNico Douga, the team decided to continue production, and in 2010 they released the game "Gakuen Handsome". Their university even gave them permission to organize an official exhibition: Gakuen Handsome Matsuri (or just Gakuen Handsome Festival). Visitors could watch the opening movie, learn more about the characters and take pictures together with the life-sized cardboard cutouts. The exhibition also featured rare merch: A drama CD which would be released in "20009" and canned bread.

This exhibition was apparently not only held once, but many times according to their blog. The game was finally released in 2010 and many fans were happy to finally play it, supporting the team that created it. Togo Mito, who many of you know as the creator of (in)famous BL game Hadaka Shitsuji, also collaborated with them. These are some pictures I found on Togo Mito's old blog, Mizoguchi and Juro drawn by Togo Mito and the Hadaka Shitsuji cast drawn by Team YokkyuFuman.

Even after graduation, it seems like they would occasionally invite some of Gakuen Handsome's creators. In 2014, the university tweeted that they would not be able to host the exhibition that year due to renovations, but visitors could take pictures with the cardboard cutouts. There's also an interview from 2016 on the university's website, in which they talk about how things have been after graduation! I absolutely love how the university supported all of this.

Now about the game itself... Where to even start? You'll have to trust me, but the game is actually good. Many parody games can be quite a hit or miss, but this visual novel is something I still catch myself laughing at years later. The inconsistent art, pointy chins and strange jokes really create an experience unlike anything else. I don't think any commercial company would be able to create something like this, even if they tried. One detail that the anime adaptation doesn't really show is that many different artists worked on this, whose styles widely vary from each other, making absolutely no attempt to create one consistent artstyle. Most characters have at least 2 ~ 3 sprites that often look completely different from each other. For example, sometimes Saionji sensei looks like a clean-shaven teenager/young adult, but in the CGs he suddenly turn into an older looking man with a stubble.

Yes he's talking about eating paint in the screenshot above, why not. Anyway... the voice acting in this game is something else I wanted to talk about, because it adds so much to the game. Of course it's not professional, but I think that's what makes it amazing. You can sometimes hear the voice actors trying really hard not to laugh, and they will occasionally completely mess up their lines. Of course all of those lines are kept in the game and they didn't re-record them. I also loved it when they started swearing in English for seemingly no reason. Also, instead of just avoiding the name of the protagonist (who you can give any name you want) they pronounce it... by improvision. Just imagine how one would try to pronounce a "adfgdf" keysmash and you'll get an idea what it sounds like.

There are 6 characters in this game who you can romance. The protagonist's childhood friend Takuya, who is a bit obsessed with the protein bar Calorie Mate (which is censored in the new version of the game, so you just hear a BLEEP sound), outlaw teacher Saionji, school principal Juro who basically only functions as a save point, student council president Kagami, chuunibyou transfer student Shiga, and last but not least, the captain of the soccer team Mitsurugi, who also murders people with his chin sometimes. The protagonist's sister also has a (non-romantic) ending, which you need to play in order to unlock the extra scenario (which... is a ridiculous murder mystery story for some reason). I also could not find the guide I used a long time ago, so I just looked at some videos on NicoNico to see what others were doing and that worked pretty well...!

My favorite scene is probably still that one scene in Mitsurugi's route, in which he stabs people with his chin. It's also one of the scenes that gets referenced the most in fanart. The context makes it even more ridiculous, Mitsurugi gets really upset that some people like the chunky variant of red bean paste (tsubuan) and decides they should die. After stabbing his teammate and multiple other people he runs outside. The protagonist however, isn't safe either and also gets accused of being a "tsubuan supporter". If you survive though, you get a chance to marry Mitsurugi!

Honestly one of the reasons I wanted to write about this game is because many people only know the OVA and/or anime, but the game is so funny I think everyone should play it if they're interested. I also think the team behind it has such a funny backstory and I love seeing how supportive their university is. Right now the team is still active on their Twitter account and they sometimes create new content. Last year they released Gakuen Handsome Fighters, a short fighting game featuring the Gakuen Handsome characters.

If you are interested in purchasing it, I recommend getting the "Special" edition which can be purchased on DLsite! I couldn't find a working download link anymore of the older version, but I think the creators deserve the support, so I don't regret buying it (it was about 15 USD). It includes the original game and 5 shorter stories which were originally released as smartphone apps. While I think the original game is still the best one, it's fun to explore some of the extra scenarios as well. One of the shorter games takes place in an alternative universe in which the boys live in the Heian period, and for some reason some of the sprites are animated... yeah.

[raccoonfallsharder]

When I saw the first guardians film in middle school, my love of our favorite raccoon began. Finding a community of Rocket lovers after keeping it silently inside for so long is special (in a way I can't articulate without sounding goofy bc it's an anthropomorphic raccoon we're talking about here). I graduate from college this weekend and want to thank you for your stories getting me through hard times and motivationless days. It's given me a knew way to enjoy the movies I've watched so many times :) What was the media that got you super into Rocket and inspired your fiction writing? Much love!!

first and foremost, i want to congratulate you. school is not easy, and i swear it gets harder and feels more high-pressure/high-stakes every year. i hope that your time at college has given you more learning experiences than all-nighters, more opportunities than stressors, and more joy than hardship. and i hope that you are able to take everything you’ve earned and enjoy your freedom from university surrounded by good people, with plenty of time and resources to do the things you love. if you haven’t yet, please take time to sit and breathe and really soak up the fact that you did this. be proud of yourself. you fucken deserve it.

secondly, i read this while walking to the parking garage at 11pm after helping at an event for my college students (i work at a university) and i had to sit in my car and wait till i stopped tearing up so i could drive home. this truly made me so happy and im so glad my silly stories made things even just a little easier for you. ♡

so, my falling in love with rocket was a process. (cue me narrating this for three paragraphs like a schoolgirl with her first crush)

when we first saw rocket’s back in gotg1 i was like, oh. he’s in so much pain. between that + his fucken sarcasm, i complained afterward that the movie would’ve been so much better if he was the main character (lol). i started lazily dabbling in comics content then. i hadn’t been big into marvel comics before (more of a dc/image comics kid) but rocket and groot were becoming my faves. i loved gotg2. so much more focus on rocket, and yondu’s arc had me bawling like a baby. gotg2 made me like gotg1 more, which is part of how i judge the quality of a narrative series tbh (and why i think series are so hard to make). when the first gotg3 trailer came out and it was clear this was rocket’s story, i was obsessed. i didnt watch any additional trailers or read any more comics — rare for me. i wanted to go in completely blank. then i went back to the theatre to rewatch it three additional times (i have never before gone to see a movie more than once in the theatre). i was like… almost bursting with love for this stupid raccoon at this point.

then i got around to reading his grounded comic arc, and it was like — the dam burst. i hadn’t written fanfiction since 2017ish, and hadn’t been on tumblr since 2016, but i was like — i have to write about this fucken raccoon. i need to take care of him lol.

so when you ask what media - i guess all of it? in increments? because of course now ive watched most of his various cartoon incarnations, read probably 70% of the comics content, halfway through a stream of the 2021 game, have one of the novels (sitting on the tbr pile) and frankly the love just continues to grow.

now that ive taken up thirty-two years of your life, i just want to say im so glad you found this fandom and this community. he may be an anthropomorphic raccoon but he’s meaningful to people, in so many ways. im so very very glad that he could be that for you, and that you’re here.

congrats again, nonnie. i hope post-graduation life rewards you with supportive people who love and understand you, with joyful new experiences, good health, and everything you need to live happily and fully.

[aellegro]

wait till you hear about this next nominee: MOON AERA, born on the 18th of JUNE, 1997 and bears a striking resemblance to LEE SAEROM. they’re a FIRST year BACHELOR OF MUSIC COMPOSITION student and HAVE BEEN IN MULTIPLE COMMERCIALS — impressed yet? rumor has it they’re hoping to be a FAMOUS CELEBRITY, but personally, i think they should aim a little higher — something like the king’s club, for one. now, that suits them a little more, don’t you think? guess we’ll just have to see if they’ve got the talent for it in our upcoming recruitment round.

HIIIIIIIIIIIII i’m kon (she/her) and i’m so glad to finally meet and greet all of u and ur beautiful muses!! have been lurking but decided to bite the bullet and apply for bxc8!!! honestly did Not expect to be accepted so fast ejlfnjenwo kind of screamed... but i can’t wait to be writing and scheming with all of u... also!! i’m available to plot on either dms or dc (plzzzz add me on evermeow) so smash that like button <33 i’ll try my best to fill in the blanks but if u have any questions feel free to ask!!

background

she’s born the youngest of three, the first (and only) daughter after two sons, and the first granddaughter on both sides of the family

technically has 3 brothers if you count her cousin (son of the ent. company ceo) since he was an only child and liked hanging out with the siblings… considered himself one of them tbh

which made her uncle really grateful to their family for taking care of his son since he was busy taking care of the company and whatnot (also like… since he’s separated from his wife but that’s irrelevant)

back to her, she’s pretty much an angel in the eyes of literally everybody in her family like she can do no wrong 😇 and if she did the other person was probably at fault and started it first anyway

veeeery verrrrrry doted on and spoiled because of that which really all goes to her head and is internalised that she can get whatever she wants — 27 years and it hasn’t been disproven yet!

all things considered she pretty much cruised through school with the help of her brothers and anyone who wanted to get on her good side

it’s really only in the last year of high school where she was like! hey… maybe i don’t want to graduate as a nobody, marry some dickhead and be known only as his wife… hmm maybe i could be a celebrity… it’s nice to have people’s attention on me ❤️ and if i marry someone he’d be known as moon aera’s husband instead #feminism am i right

…it’s kind of strange to stick your guns to a random train of thought but it really did seem appealing to 18yo aera at the time and she’s nothing if not very determined to make her dreams reality + it seemed cool (also if that happened to include a little plastic surgery then so be it)

to her credit, she didn’t rely on her family from the jump. she went for multiple auditions by herself then announced it to her family after people got back to her about starring in the commercials… things definitely got chaotic in the moon household that day

got recruited by a company that wasn’t her uncle’s after a few of her commercials were released but trust that he definitely had a hand in ensuring that she’d get preferential treatment anyway

as for the king’s club… sensed the many, many opportunities that came with becoming a chessmaster and accepted right away

miiiiight have had something to do with the resignation of cho minah (the other black bishop initiate) but who’s to say she did? cho minah never complained either so all’s fair in war and all that good jazz… didn’t even become an aera anti after she debuted so that’s a #WIN for sure

speaking of initiates dropping out, she wasn’t close to noh hyungseo and was decidedly neutral in 2016 but if she had to choose, she’s definitely not his biggest fan. was definitely shocked during the incident but we move on… like how aera could give less of a shit about noh hyungseo and his death in 2024.

did really freaking well for herself after that if you just ignore all her haters and naysayers, and seemingly (since we all know it’s not just effort) girlbossed her way up until she became a household name, with her face plastered everywhere and her songs on repeat at any shop you enter

honestly… long live moon aera and her army

personality

gemini sun, scorpio moon, virgo rising

[−] tends to be impulsive (see: auditioning without prior consultation), especially about what she wants. has a bit of a short fuse but usually gets over it quickly unless you really wrong her one way or another… then you’re doneeeee ⚰️ resentful like no other, kxe1 knows what i’m talking about. genuinely feels like the world revolves around her and that people should have the same amount of loyalty she does towards them.

[+] intuitive and observant. very flexible and is able to thrive in different environments, can make friends or at the very least find common ground with just about anyone anywhere.

in 2016: very affable, barrelling past any icy exteriors. perceptive enough to know which buttons to push and when, making it easy for her to make friends. for the most part, it’s not a facade at all which lends a little more credibility to how genuine she’s being with you. her sense of humour is snarky and a little crude but what else can you expect from growing up with a bunch of brothers. that one friend who has to stop and say hi to anyone who recognises them. but don’t be fooled because she’s still a self-serving bitch at the end of the day 😒

in 2024: with the passing years, she’s definitely mellowed out and uses most of her cheerfulness whenever she’s interacting with fans. is more or less the same, just a little bit more cynical and jaded due to her experience in the industry 🚬 but hey, that’s exactly what she signed up for. her circle of friends is much smaller now but everyone who’s met/worked with her all say she’s very nice and kind and would like to get to know her more.

trivia/misc.

her fans are called dear… i hope everyone here is a dear and streams her music

ever since she went solo, she’s had more creative control thanks to her uncle’s intervention and actively takes part in composing her songs and lyric writing

first brother: moon jaeyoung, 1991, chief prosecutor / second brother: moon daehyun, 1994, high school teacher (science) / cousin: moon yejun, 1995, head of artist development — if anyone wants a plot where aera plays matchmaker for your muse with any of them lmk

has a maltese named bada and she genuinely adores her dog so much like that’s her little baby. watch what you say about bada because she has her own separate fanbase i don’t make the rules

artist blurbs

ouiwish (위위시) was a girl group under GROOVE Media. The group consisted of 5 members: Dabin, Miso, Yume, Hanbyul, and Aera. The group originally debuted on August 10, 2015 with 4 members, with fifth member Aera joining the group on November 23, 2018 for their sixth comeback. GROOVE Media released an announcement stating that the group officially disbanded on 31 August, 2020.

Moon Aera (문애라) is an actress and soloist under DH Entertainment. She initially debuted as a member of ouiwish (위위시) before making her official debut as a soloist on 5 March, 2021 and made her acting debut in 2019 as a minor role in the drama ‘Love in Sadness’.

i’ll add more soon i’m kind of over this and want this out ASAP i’m sorryyyy we can fuse brains when we plot together

[garadinervi]

The Journey That Matters: What It Was Like, Directed and Produced by Arwen Curry, Featuring Ursula K. Le Guin [reading her essay 'What is Was Like' (2004), in Words Are My Matter. Writings About Life and Books, 2000-2016, Small Beer Press, 2016], 2023 [Literary Hub]

Cinematographer: Jeff Streich Editors: Maya Curry, Sarah Cannon Composer: Will Fritch Location Sound: Anna Rieke Motion Graphics: Alexandra Petrus, Kia Simon

Archival footage and stills: The Ursula K. Le Guin Foundation; Schlesinger Library, Harvard Radcliffe Institute

What It Was Like A talk given at a meeting of Oregon NARAL in January 2004 «My friends at NARAL asked me to tell you what it was like before Roe vs. Wade. They asked me to tell you what it was like to be twenty and pregnant in 1950 and when you tell your boyfriend you're pregnant, he tells you about a friend of his in the army whose girl told him she was pregnant, so he got all his buddies to come and say, "We all fucked her, so who knows who the father is?" And he laughs at the good joke. They asked me to tell you what it was like to be a pregnant girl—we weren't "women" then—a pregnant college girl who, if her college found out she was pregnant, would expel her, there and then, without plea or recourse. What it was like, if you were planning to go to graduate school and get a degree and earn a living so you could support yourself and do the work you loved—what it was like to be a senior at Radcliffe and pregnant and if you bore this child, this child which the law demanded you bear and would then call "unlawful," "illegitimate," this child whose father denied it, this child which would take from you your capacity to support yourself and do the work you knew it was your gift and your responsibility to do: What was it like? I can hardly imagine what it's like to live as a woman under Fundamentalist Islamic law. I can hardly remember now, fifty-four years later, what it was like to live under Fundamentalist Christian law. Thanks to Roe vs. Wade, none of us in America has lived in that place for half a lifetime. But I can tell you what it is like, for me, right now. It's like this: If I had dropped out of college, thrown away my education, depended on my parents through the pregnancy, birth, and infancy, till I could get some kind of work and gain some kind of independence for myself and the child, if I had done all that, which is what the anti-abortion people want me to have done, I would have borne a child for them, for the anti-abortion people, the authorities, the theorists, the fundamentalists; I would have borne a child for them, their child. But I would not have borne my own first child, or second child, or third child. My children. The life of that fetus would have prevented, would have aborted, three other fetuses, or children, or lives, or whatever you choose to call them: my children, the three I bore, the three wanted children, the three I had with my husband—whom, if I had not aborted the unwanted one, I would never have met and married, because he would have been a Fulbright student going to France on the Queen Mary in 1953 but I would not have been a Fulbright student going to France on the Queen Mary in 1953. I would have been an "unwed mother" of a three-year-old in California, without work, with half an education, living off her parents, not marriageable, contributing nothing to her community but another mouth to feed, another useless woman. But it is the children I have to come back to, my children Elisabeth, Caroline, Theodore, my joy, my pride, my loves. If I had not broken the law and aborted that life nobody wanted, they would have been aborted by a cruel, bigoted, and senseless law. They would never have been born. This thought I cannot bear. I beg you to see what it is that we must save, and not to let the bigots and misogynists take it away from us again. Save what we won: our children. You who are young, before it's too late, save your children.» – Ursula K. Le Guin, Words Are My Matter. Writings About Life and Books, 2000-2016, Small Beer Press, Easthampton, MA, 2016

[toastytoaster22]

Hiiiii toasty! 13, 19 and 24 for the weird writing game!

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

Hm. Sex used to be astronomically difficult, but after pushing myself to write Leaps and Bounds, I think it would be much less of a struggle. I haven't actually written any sexual encounters since then though, so it might still be rough seeing as I am so out of practice. All I've been writing for the last three years is angst oops

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

OOf I know I have talked about this before but not recently. My big sister introduced me to fanfiction back in... I don't know, 2005 or something. Maybe earlier. She was in high school and into angsty slash fics. We only had a family computer so she used to read some stuff aloud to me when we were home alone. At some point I started looking for stuff I liked on my own and by 2007 most of my friends were reading too.

As a silly joke thing to do, me and three other friends all made accounts and published Harry Potter fics when we were juniors in high school. Two of them made spoof-like oneshots, but me and one other posted the first chapters of actual multi-chap stories. She went on to write over a million words for that particular series of fics, and I ... moved on to other fandoms. I started a couple fics that i never finished and only actually finished one multi-chap fic. It was poorly written and two short chapters but I did it!

Then i went to college and stopped writing for what turned into six years. I did other creative things instead and I read like crazy, but I didn't try writing again. My (then) boyfriend and I moved a couple times after graduating and eventually ended up in Virginia in 2016. I had very few friends and was frustrated by my job, and he was always busy, so i had tons of free time. At some point we had a conversation where i admitted to writing fanfic and he was DELIGHTED. he wanted to read it. I refused, but somehow in the flustered mess i admitted my penname, sooooo he said he could just look me up.

I was horrified that he would see my *cough*Suite Life of Zach and Cody*cough* fic and laugh at me for the rest of my life so i was very dramatic and begged him not to look. He gave me an offer.

I could let him read one of my old fics of my own choosing... Or I could write something new and let him read that.

I took the bait. I immediately changed my penname and noodled for a few weeks on what to write. I gathered all my long repressed love for Digimon and embarked on a six chapter angst fest. Which got interrupted by two one-shots and a collection of side stories. And then I wrote another. Then started a drabble series. Then branched off into the Tsubasa fandom. We moved three more times and I wrote a 50k fic in just over a year. We got married. Bought a house.

And then I found Mob Psycho 100.

And I wrote and I wrote and I wrote and covid hit and I wrote Break and I wrote Issho. and I got pregnant and I started Nightjar and then found out I was pregnant oops. That has slowed me down immensely. Having a toddler who STILL doesn't sleep is debilitating for my writing energy. But! The past few months I have been mostly working on my original story which I do not talk about online. Much progress is being made.

I will get back to Nightjar and Resonate but I am currently knee deep in worldbuilding.

24. How much prep work do you put into your stories? What does that look like for you? Do you enjoy this part or do you just want to get on with it?

Oh god, depending on the length of the fic I spend anywhere from a week to a year getting it into shape before I actually write chapters to post. I put probably too much prep work into them. Timelines, character arc maps, pov pros and cons, messages I want to convey, moments i want to include. I write down everything before I start typing. I do it all by hand in notebooks bc i am old fashioned. i drink tea with too much honey and I listen to playlists and i think until my brain wants to melt. But thats fics like Issho and Nightjar and Resonate.

A lot of my oneshots are a moment of inspiration that i daydream about for days or weeks until I decide its good and ripe enough for others to see.