#these people should just fuck off into the sun tbh

[redrocketpanda]

You’re kind of disgusting, saying a man who’s been tortured needs to continue to be punished for your sexual gratification.

Get some damn therapy.

Good morning ✨️

I'm actually just about to graduate from therapy w/top marks. Given your so interested in my therapy, you might find it useful to know that I've actually discussed my Astarion content in therapy not too long ago. My therapist (who is an expert in GSD as well as kink/sex work/etc) actually highly approves of my content 💖

You might like to read my previous post on Astarion, sexual violence, & survival narratives. But either way, your policing of what is "acceptable" and "not acceptable" content is not appreciated. Seeing as you like giving out advice, here's some for you: how about you go and learn something about the intersections of kink & sexual violence

And on a slightly related tangent, I'm sorry but the Astarion fan base needs to WAKE THE FUCK UP

This man actively wants/wanted to become a vampire ascendant, knowing it would devour the souls of thousands of people who had suffered at the hands of Cazador, just as Astarion himself had suffered. He talks about how the vermin of the earth (people) are here to serve him, he approves of slavery & torture (as long as its not happening to him), and is an all around pretty nasty guy. Like yes yes, you can rehabilitate him but the core of Astarion's design is that he's actually not a "nice" person

As a further side note (not that it should matter) but my tav is evil aligned. She is just as bad & cruel as Astarion, and that's why their relationship is so compelling to me. They are horrendous little people in a relationship with one another & it's about the power dynamics between them. When I post certain Astarion content, I do so in the vein of Vico/Astarion. One day, when I do my good playthrough, I'll switch to making different Asation content. Either way - all my content is valid and acceptable, and some little anon on the Internet isn't gonna make me feel differently about that

But yes. Let's continue to treat a FICTIONAL CHARACTER like he's a dainty fragile little victim who needs protection, whilst attacking real people (and real survivors) on the Internet. Got ya priorities well worked out there pal

[leatherbookmark]

still thinking abt that post from like a coupla days (?) ago bringing up the fact that a little girl called zira a faggot in the original g0mens book. like damn that should have been in the show

[hopelesslyromanticshark]

first i wanna say that the royalty au fic was soo enjoyable to read!! and can i request platonic!headcanons with piper mclean x daughter of hades?? where the readers like kinda scary and off putting and they somehow create a bond with piper😭 i’m also sure ur inbox is going to be flooded with requests so take ur time !!

⋆⭒˚.⋆ platonic! piper mclean x daughter of hades! reader hcs

𝜗𝜚 content...platonic! piper mclean x daughter of hades! reader hcs 𝜗𝜚 warnings...lanauage and (technically) sexual innuendos 𝜗𝜚 letter's from the author...ta da!!!! After doing this, i realized i have a negative grasp on piper's character lmao- (pretty sure I didn't like her as a kid but tbh i dont really remember as for the whole of the lost hero i was completely distracted by leo and jason-) so, i don't know how good or bad this is but uh it's here!! so enjoy ig but if you don't no worries we'll just forget this ever happened!!

────────── ౨ৎ ──────────

-`♡´- "hey, you look cool and lonely. wanna be friends?"

-`♡´- what an opener, am i right???

-`♡´- i don't think piper is one of those people to be like, ashamed lmao

-`♡´- so im sure she had no problem marching right up to you and asking to be friends

-`♡´- though, this is a little jarring at eight in the morning over your bagel, but you let it slide because she seemed to have good intentions

-`♡´- and also, she called you lonely...which was true, but most people don't just say that.

-`♡´- especially not to a kid of the big three (mother fuck the big three, it's just big me-)

-`♡´- you simply shrugged and nodded, which caused piper to nodded back before returning to her table.

-`♡´- you didn't think anything of the interaction, shrugging it off and nearly forgetting about it, until piper came up to you later and started talking to you about your earrings and your clothes and basically everything else under the sun

-`♡´- and, strangely enough, you didn't mind the daughter of aphrodite, not one bit

-`♡´- in fact, you found her company...endearing.

-`♡´- from that point on, it was hard to find the daughter of hades with out her bestie daughter of aphrodite

-`♡´- she brought out a fun side in you and sometimes you were able to keep piper from going completely crazy

-`♡´- hang outs in the arena is a must

-`♡´- partially to train but also to watch all the other cute demigods get sweaty and flustered

-`♡´- i know you guys talk about crushes like you would not believe, code names and all

-`♡´- but the code names are always like 'abe lincoln' and 'angel food cake' which def have a meaning that only you guys know

-`♡´- ALSO big on the whole 'sweet treat' thing

-`♡´- i know daddy tristan mclean be keeping piper's credit card MAXED

-`♡´- and i also know piper would only enjoy spending it on her friends

-`♡´- sometimes, just for shits and giggles, you and piper trade aesthetics

-`♡´- they aren't super dissimilar but it's noticeable enough

-`♡´- ummmm matching pjs for the sleepover??? YES YES YES

-`♡´- obvi pipers are pink and yours are black, duh!

-`♡´- but they are still matchy matchy

-`♡´- and horror movies are BIG at these sleepovers, which also includes themed snacks

-`♡´- "should i be concerned about whether or not the blood in these cupcakes is real?" piper asked, eyeing them and you suspiciously

-`♡´- "it's not animal blood if it makes you feel better," you teased back.

-`♡´- "that does, in fact, not make me feel better."

-`♡´- that being said, you are the biggest defender of piper and her vegetarian

-`♡´- will fight anyone who tries to give piper meat, even on accident

-`♡´- but, you've also DEF bought piper a shirt that says something along the lines of 'the only meat i eat is roast beef ;)' or 'eat pussy, it's organic!"

-`♡´- piper wears them, unironically

-`♡´- AND SHE FUCKING ROCKS THEM STFU-

-`♡´- you guys aren't really known for your raw moments, but late at night, when you're both lying in bed after a sleepover, the strong sense of girlhood just takes you over and you can't help but spill your guts.

-`♡´- "you know, you're my best friend. thank you for, uh, calling me a loser basically."

-`♡´- "of course. i'm glad you were being a total loser that day so that we could be losers together from that point forwards."

[thebigoblin]

dumb & dumber

tags: Established Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Failwolf Derek Hale, Failhuman Stiles Stilinski, is that a tag? it should be actually, Implied Sexual Content, Possessive Derek Hale, Attempt at Humor, Failwolf Betas, they're all just dumb tbh

"You know, you're kind of the worst," he says this with a pout on his face, the television in front of him blinking back his own face at him. He sorta looks cute with a pout. Huh.

Beside him, the couch dips with the weight of his boyfriend. An arm snakes up along the back of the couch, and he moves forward before that arm and his shoulders can make contact. The huff he gets at his pettiness has him scoffing right back.

"You're being petty."

"And you're an asshole. What's new?"

Another huff. A sigh. He stares forward, resolute.

"Stiles, please." Nope. He is not giving in. He deserves to be upset! "Baby," and oh no.

Stiles turns towards his left, and sees the forlorn look on Derek's face. His eyes are searching Stiles', likely trying to impart how unhappy he is, and how much he wants Stiles' forgiveness.

Stiles might have turned around to actually have a conversation, but hey, he's still got the upper hand here. When Derek reaches out to hold his hand, Stiles takes his wayward limbs towards himself and crosses his arms. Derek isn't happy, his nostrils flaring, but hey, Stiles isn't happy, either.

"Why are you so angry at me?"

Stiles instantly points a finger at his dumb boyfriend, wagging it at that dumb gorgeous face to punctuate his point, "Oh ho ho, don't you play the dumb boyfriend card with me! I wish I could tell Lydia she's right and that all men, no matter the age, suck at being a good boyfriend. But welp! I can't, can I? Because even now, after months of us having been together, I cannot tell people I have a boyfriend! Nobody in the fucking pack knows who you are to me, and you know what Erica has been planning, huh? Huh?"

Derek blinks his dumb, gorgeous eyes at him. He has been staring at these eyes for counting on four months now, but he still can't pinpoint what colors they are. Are they blue? Green? Hazel with gold flecks in them?

Fuck. He is getting distracted. He once again wags his finger at Derek's face, who, this time around, wraps his big, rough arms around it and pulls Stiles forward until Stiles stumbles right onto Derek's lap, and really, why is the universe so unfair? Why is Derek in a barely there wife-beater and grey sweats?

"You know what I am to you, Stiles."

Stiles resolutely stares at Derek's chest. His hands are gripped tight in Derek's, but Derek lets one of his hands go free to grab at his chin, forcing him to look up at the eyes that reflect the early morning sun in a deep, beautiful forest.

"Baby, I am yours."

"But not to the world. To them, you're a single, hot, in much need of a date Alpha werewolf. You're not mine in their eyes, Der."

His heart doesn't waver at the truth, but his chemosignals must change because Derek leans down to rub their noses together, dragging his down to Stiles' neck, scenting him.

Claiming him, in a way.

"If Erica is planning a date for me, she's not competent as a wolf. I might not have told them we are dating, but you smelling much more like us should be a clue."

Stiles noses his way down from Derek's nose to his neck, bites at the junction between it and shoulders just to be a little shit. Derek arches under him, and it has Derek's dick, from under the damned grey sweats, rubbing a delicious friction against Stiles' ass.

"We smell good, huh, Alpha?" He could say more, but Derek is already panting like he cannot take it any more, and hey, that is lips on his own and he can't really speak now, can he?

Derek kisses him with passion, pushes him down back on the couch so he is on top of Stiles.

"Erica needs to learn how to use her fucking nose. You smell like mine," Derek's growl has Stiles instantly wanting to take off his clothes and present to him, down on all fours and ready to blackout in bliss for hours, but.

Stiles pushes at Derek's chest so there's space between them, and asks, a bit breathless, "Why haven't we just told them?"

"You're a fucking tease. I'm going to ruin you once this conversation is over, understand?"

Stiles stares back, wide-eyed, pupils evidently dark. Licks his lips. Nods.

Derek grabs his hair and wrenches him in for a deep kiss before letting go, putting space between them.

They don't speak for a few minutes, trying to get back to some semblance of control. Once they are, Derek speaks.

"I haven't told anyone... because I forgot."

If this weren't Derek, and he wasn't Stiles, he would have been offended. Because what the fuck? But he is Stiles, and this is Derek, so.

"You figured everyone would use their super-sniffers?" Derek nods. "Except you also forgot not everyone is a werewolf, and that even those with super-sniffers are idiots. They would first figure out how to stop a bus with failing brakes from crashing by jumping in front of it rather than using their wolf strength to well, pull the bus Superman style."

"Yes, I'm aware my pack is brave but stupid. Especially because their leader is here with me."

"Hey!"

"Then why didn't you tell them?"

Stiles opens his mouth. Closes it. Scratches his head, his hair. Eyes fixed on the TV again, he mumbles, "I thought you didn't want to."

Derek takes his hand and points it at himself with a raised eyebrow. "Me? The one who has been scenting you extensively and making you wear butt-plugs? Me?"

His cheeks color with embarrassment. "Alright! We are both idiots. Got it."

"Truly made for each other." Derek again uses Stiles' hand to pull him forward, right until Stiles stis on Derek's lap. Again. Except this time Derek is already working to make Stiles' jeans dissappear. "Now, tell me about this date Erica has planned for me while you warm my cock with your pretty hole, okay, baby?"

"Yes, Alpha." Oh, coming to the Loft in a fit of anger/sadness was the best course of action today.

And Stiles is definitely going to pilfer that fancy-pants restaurant Erica has reserved for Derek's blind date with one of her college friends for a date for them.

And then he's going to be fucking annoying about calling Derek his, just like he is sure Derek is going to be insufferable about making it clear that Stiles is his in return.

[didishawn]

Hey bestie!!!! Your works are chef kiss 🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼 uhm I was wondering if you can write angst w Ferran? Idk like there's an argument n he says something hurtful?? Miss ma'am tbh I have no clue what im requesting😭😭 all ik is that I'd like some angst ending in fluff pls??? N ur writing is amazing so 🤌🏼

Broken souls (Ferran x Reader)

Warnings: angsty with happy ending, mentions of Ferran's insecurities and mental health, mentions of the internet being assholes, Sira mention (not in a truly bad way as the girl is amazing)

Masterlist

You know Ferran adores Barça and loves playing in it, it's where his best friends play and 9ne the best club's out there, but sometimes you can't help but wonder if things would be better had he stayed in Manchester City.

Words can bring down even the happiest of people, that person who everyone knows to be the nicest, the funniest, being broken by people on the Internet feeling the need to comment on all his flaws and creating insecurities.

It's terrible for anyone, brings them down, worsens their mental health and makes them sometimes not be themselves.

Your boyfriend, you know is broken, as months pass by he becomes even more of a shell of his true self, he might pretend everything is alright out there, but you know it isn't.

He overworks himself, training hours not enough for him, locking himself in the gym or using the goalie on your backyard to practice until late night hours, then waking up even before the sun rises.

You know he is exhausted, but he refuses to stop, you are worried about what will happen to him, you have told him so multiple times, and the screaming match you both are having right now is a repetition, already happened.

"I just told you to please come to bed, I don't think there is nothing wrong with it!" you shout at him, trying to get your words through that thick head of his, he shakes his head, a smile that is not truthful, almost cruel.

"You don't fucking understand, don't you? How can I go to bed when I fucking suck! Its almost as if you have fun seeing how terrible I am!"

"How can you say that? You know I am your biggest supporter! I just think you should also keep in mind to take care of yourself!"

He gives a dry laugh, face to face with you as he glares down at you, you are not afraid though, you know he would never hurt you -at least not with his hands that he furiously moves around and points at you.

"Really? Because I think you enjoy it, having all culers hating on me, maybe you like that I have no one by my side to have me all for yourself! Always so fucking clingy" he sighs "Sira understood..."

You both tense, his eyes snap into yours, apologetic, trying to reach out for you.

"Love, I'm-"

"Fuck you, Ferran. If Sira was so much better then she can take care of you so you don't fucking die from exhaustion" you are in tears "I fucking care for you and you just treat me as if I was a parasite, someone you don't actually love, maybe you didn't want a girlfriend -at least not me as its obvious you did want Sira, you wanted someone to keep your house clean and all that shit so meanwhile you repay me like this"

You walk away from his, you don't let him grab you a she wants, picking up your purse and intentionally leaving the house keys behind. You stop, see the promise ring on your finger, and go to take it off, his hands stop you.

"Please, amor, don't do that I promise I will try to do better, ok? You are right, I am sorry for treating you like shit, I promise I will listen to what you say"

You laugh "Only when you are about to lose me do you react, how can I believe your words for a second if maybe this conversation will repeat itself in a week"

"It won't, ok? I swear, y/n, I will do my best so there is no repetition on this, I want you, I love you, I won't be able to do this without you. I know I am an asshole, bit the one good thing I have is you and I will make sure to always remind it"

You think it over for a second, dropping your purse you let his arms wrap around you, taking a moment in them, you then go on to whisper.

"You are still sleeping on the couch after that Sira comment"

"Totally worth it if you stay"

[yourdeepestfathoms]

Ride the Cyclone kids and swimming

(in no particular order)

(all platonic)

Who would win: a public pool or six choir kids

Constance’s mom packed everyone lunch from the cafe 🥰

Ocean has to wear a rash guard, or she WILL fry in the sun

(She still manages to get THE WORST sunburn though)

Penny’s got the CUTEST swimsuit

Mischa wears the Cool Guy sunglasses

Constance would wear one of those big ol broad-brimmed hats fight me

Probably got the Mom Tote Bag, too

She’s also CONSTANTLY reminding everyone to drink water so they don’t get dehydrated

In the water, Noel looks like a wet rat

It should be illegal for his hair to be that flat

“*Ocean voice* I Can’t Swim ™️”

“Girl you’re literally named after a body of water how can you not swim” “DIE”

She still gets in because she doesn’t want to be left out

But she refuses to wear a life jacket because that’s embarrassing

Penny is giving

Noel will dip his toes in the water and then be like “i swam today”

He likes to sunbathe on the beach chairs

Then Mischa comes by and dumps a bucket of water over his head

Or all the kids will gang up on him with water guns

They all make a group pool playlist

Bad idea

The result is this lyrical mess of all different genres of music

It’ll go from Thrift Store (Mischa’s pick) to to Mary On A Cross (Penny’s pick) to the piano version of Until I Found You (Constance’s pick) the fucking Masochism Tango (Noel’s pick) to Mary Did You Know (Ocean’s pick) to Cynthia’s theme from Pokémon (Ricky’s pick)?????

It’s wild

Mischa is the CEO of flipping the inflatables when someone is on them

Catch Ricky out acting like a sniper with a water gun

My man is constantly shooting people when they least expect it

He once accidentally shot Mischa directly in the eyes and started praying to God

Penny is frighteningly good at Marco Polo

Sis has a sixth sense or SOMETHING

Do you know how terrifying it is to be carefully wading through a pool, then this whole blonde whips around to you like you’re a mouse that has just been caught by a hungry owl, only to have said blonde lunging at you before you can able think to do anything to save yourself, despite her eyes being shut

Constance almost cried

Okay, so, Chicken Fights? Mischa and Penny are an unstoppable team

Those two are terrifying together

Hear me out: Mischa on Penny’s shoulders

Good Lord

Pray for whoever has to deal with THAT

On the other hand, Noel and Ocean? The worst team

Ocean almost got pushed off, and she panicked, so she lashed her legs around Noel’s neck so tight he started to choke

Noel is out here fighting for his fuckin life against his own partner because he’s being fucking strangled by a ginger’s thighs

Meanwhile, Ricky and Mischa are just there like 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️

Having Penny on the bottom is TERRIFYING

Ocean once got on her shoulders, and Penny just started GOING, fucking SWINGING like Ocean is her own personal ginger baseball bat, and Ocean is fucking SCREAMING in fear

And poor Ricky damn near got LAUNCHED from her shoulders when they were paired up

Mischa is scary, too

He plays to win

While on Mischa’s shoulders, Noel’s screams could be heard for miles

Noel and Constance are a pretty good team, but Constance is short, so if she goes too deep, she’ll literally just start drowning

Ricky and Noel aren’t that bad tbh

Nobody can get on Ocean’s shoulders

Ocean “built like a popsicle stick” O’Connell Rosenberg having the strength to hold up her classmates? Unlikely. She’d die on the spot

Ocean is usually on SOMEONE’S back if they’re in water deeper than five feet because sis can’t reach

Penny is perfectly happy with Ocean clinging onto her back because you can’t tell me homegirl [Penny] doesn’t love physical touch, and they’re honestly the cutest thing Ever

Like, Ocean will just have her chin resting on Penny’s shoulder, hanging on like a red koala, and Penny is like :}

It’s adorable

They all do that TikTok challenge where you have to try and jump in the water with a theme

If someone is standing close to the edge, Mischa WILL push them in

It’s, like, the law

I feel like Constance would be a BEAST at noodle fights

Sis is swinging hers like it’s the legendary sword Excalibur

The kids try to teach Ocean how to swim

Noel’s idea is to just shove her in

“Sink or swim, bitch”

Good technique for babies! Not so much for teenagers

[animentality]

(Leaps in askbox now its clear) Howdy! I'm curious about your opinions on the companions, like initial thoughts and now that you've clocked in an unhealthy (affectionate) amount of hours? We know what you'd change but how about everyone as is? Thanks!

Alrighty, I can finally answer this one...

Ok.

Man. This is gonna be a long one.

We're gonna start with the shorter opinions first.

Minthara:

I have not done a run where Minthara was alive in Act 2. I literally know almost nothing about her.

I think she's hot and has the sexiest voice of all the female characters, but I know nothing about her story, other than she was a lesbian with Orin. I do wanna try and romance her, but.

Who knows if I'll ever get around to it.

Minsc:

I get that he's a fan favorite from the old games, but I kind of hate him. He feels like fanservice, and I didn't get a nostalgia boner for him, so he does nothing for me as a character.

I honestly kill him. Not out of malice, just more out of, why even have him be here?

Plus I tend to go through the entire game without swapping my party members, because I'm pretending it's a real dnd campaign.

And I ain't changing my team comp for this weirdo who only shows up at the very end.

Sorry to his hamster when I kill him, though.

Jaheira:

She's ok. I don't hate her, but she doesn't do it for me. I don't get why she's Russian. And apparently the only Russian in the whole game.

She also feels like fanservice.

Plus she fucking drops ice storms on everyone's goddamn HEADS when they're already in Hunger of Hadar, and honestly?

We have beef. I let her die sometimes, for that crime specifically. I also skip her house, because it doesn't have good loot, besides the scimitars, and I don't play races or classes that use scimitars. like ever.

Halsin:

I like Halsin generally, he's inoffensive to me, but his "romance" is so bad. It's shallow, it feels tacked on, which it was, and everyone knows how much I HATE how little his sexual trauma is focused on.

I romanced him twice, and both times, I was underwhelmed and kind of shrugged him off.

He should just be a fling option like Mizora. He shouldn't have become a "romance" option. It's fine for him to be a big buff bear hippie that you can fuck, but a companion?

He's got nothing to do with Act 3. It's a detriment to his character and the game, tbh.

Ok, that's the smaller ones out of the way. Now mains:

Astarion:

I got into BG3 for Astarion.

I fully admit it. I saw a scene of him screaming at Tav for blasting him with the sun beam from the githyanki creche, and it was funny as fuck.

Neil Newbon is highly charismatic, and truly elevates a character I don't find that physically attractive. His personality and enthusiasm shine through, and his voice acting is superb. And I am a sucker for angst and redemption and themes of abuse and breaking free of toxic relationships. And darkly, I admit. I do like the more twisted nature of his backstory, the way he had to use his body to survive, has a bad relationship with sex, and was tortured repeatedly. As anyone who reads my writing knows...I am a disgusting sadistic pervert.

That being said.

I no longer like Astarion. Well. No. I like Astarion.

I don't like his fans, or his rhetoric. Astarion has the better writing of BG3, but the lack of nuance from his fans annoys the shit out of me, and overexposure to him as a character, since Tumblr and TikTok are obsessed with him?

No me gusta. I don't hate him as a character, but I can't stand to see Astarion is so perfect posts. He's not, and that's the whole point. He's awful, but you people don't appreciate that. I don't want to see Astarion x Tav headcanons. And I especially do not care about the BookTok crowd being obsessed with him because they just like a dommy vampire, and disrespect his narrative with absolutely no self awareness.

BookTok Astarion is SO GODDAMN BORING. They really just reduce him to a hot dommy vampire daddy, and that's why I never take BookTok recs. Pure garbage.

So. TL;DR - I got BG3 for him, but overexposure to his fans made me be significantly less interested in him. It's a good thing. If I was obsessed with Astarion, I'd be forced to interact with his fans. Thank god for Gortash... I'm free of that prison.

Lae'zel:

I loved Lae'zel the minute she was mean to me.

She's hot as fuck, like seriously, so hot, her neck makes me sweat something fierce, and her voice is sultry and raspy and hostile. just how i like my women.

But I admit...she's too fucking meta. gameplay wise, she's probably the strongest companion you can have for DPS...so I admit...I've had her on my teams so much, that I am sick of her.

And again! It's not because she's badly written. I actually think her character is really strong, and really awesome. I also think her arc is amazing, going from this devoted cult member to basically saying I'm going to fucking kill a god.

I actually teared up a little at the creche this one time, when I had to beg her to stay, and she was like, you knew I had no other path to follow, but this one, or something like that.

But.

But I have beaten the game with her in my party like three times. I've had her in my party on Honor mode like...a million times.

So, tl;dr - I love her to death, but gameplay wise, she's so strong that I can't play her anymore.

Shadowheart:

Ok...I admit it.

I don't like Shadowheart. I find her boring visually, because she's just this generically hot white girl. She was designed to be the companion that all straight cis white men would want to see naked, and that's fine but uh.

Does absolutely nothing for me.

I don't care for her personality either. I don't like her lines, all coy and vaguely condescending. I don't really like how mean she is to you, and it's different from Lae'zel, because at least Lae'zel came from a warrior culture that doesn't put much value on flowery language. Lae'zel makes sense.

Shadowheart is an amnesiac who's just mean to you because.

I also don't care for her story, at all.

Don't care about Shar's Gauntlet or her kidnapped backstory. Don't give a shit about her parents. Don't care that she's scared of wolves or that her hand hurts.

I like the overarching thematic bridge that her character exists on, specifically that the gods will demand everything of you, and will hurt you for their own amusement.

But as a companion...no.

I have never been interested in romancing her. I never have her on the party, except to get that achievement.

I also don't like clerics. I think they're kind of weak, tbh. They're heal bots. They're really only good for spirit guardians, glyph of warding, and removing status effects. Just don't care for that. I'm an all dps team, we have no room for healers.

TL;DR: I don't think Shadowheart is interesting design wise, story wise, or gameplay wise.

Karlach:

I loved Karlach the moment I saw her, I fell deeper in love with her the second I heard her voice, and I knew I would die and kill for her, when I saw her excited "I love you" confession scene.

Seriously.

I have said this before, and I will say it again.

Out of all of these characters, romanceable or not...

I would only marry Karlach in REAL LIFE. I'd never date a man like Gortash or Astarion. I might be friends with Gale, but he's too smart to be my boyfriend.

But Karlach. She brings the wife energy. She could throw me over her shoulder and bash me against the concrete, and I would say thank you, ma'am.

she's also so fucking fun to play. barbarian options in bg3 are so goddamn funny. you can intimidate everyone and just break shit. it's great. you can also constantly throw people AT PEOPLE. And it's great. She's way more fun than Lae'zel because of it.

No notes. Top tier character design. My wife.

But also FUCK the developers for only giving her two fucking quests, one of which is a FETCH IT quest and the other is just a lame boss fight.

And FUCK THEM for only originally giving her an ending where she either dies or becomes a mindflayer. WHY.

And the Avernus ending still annoys me, because the ENTIRE PARTY should be there too.

FUCK YOU LARIAN. Why do you hate Karlach???? You're monsters. She's never done anything wrong, and yet all you do, is wrong her.

Bullshit.

Wyll:

Ok.

Hard truth time.

Wyll is the hottest male companion.

Like.

No cap. Everyone who says Gale, or Astarion, or Halsin-

Incorrect. It's Wyll. He is literally so hot, with the white eye and those sexy throat scars. Hrrrrrrr.

Also, controversial opinion. I actually like his devil form.

I think it makes him even hotter. I do wish he had wilder hair, though.

That being said...

He's horribly underwritten.

I went in, thinking, he's so kind and nice and hot...and then I was disappointed by how little they gave him.

He, like Karlach, got hit with the cut content curse.

And it's so ugly.

And gross.

And honestly, I suspect it's racist.

But yeah.

I think he's really sweet and I like romancing him and all. But they didn't dedicate any time or effort to his romance, and I hate that. But not him. Never him.

TL;DR - my first impression of Wyll was wow, he's hot, I wanna know more about him, and my last impression is, wow, he's so hot, I hate that he has nothing going on because Larian simply didn't bother to give him shit to do.

Gale

Alright, I left Gale for last, because he has the MOST complicated relationship with me.

So I initially missed Gale, because my friend failed the strength check to get him out of the portal.

So for a while, I didn't even know he existed.

Then I started to see more of him on Tiktok and Tumblr, and I was like oh...ok. So...we missed him. Damn.

So I decided to try romancing him fairly early on....only to find out...

I absolutely despised that when he dies, he killed me with necrotic damage.

That pissed me off. In the early days, when I was new to the game, I think I once had a whole team wipe, because Gale and Lae'zel went down, and then Karlach went rampaging, set me on fire, and then died to Gale's necrotic...which is funny in hindsight, but it was annoying at the time.

The eating magical items thing was mildly annoying, but that was far worse.

I pretty much never ran Gale for a long period of time.

As the Dark Urge, I'd often kill him, in fact, just so I wouldn't have to deal with his Arcane Hunger.

And honestly, initially, I kind of disliked his personality too.

I think the first scene I ever saw of him was when you tell him he's ok in bed, and his response is like, I guess I'll go kill myself.

And honestly, I thought he had incel vibes because of it. Then add to the fact that he's rude to you, no matter what, when he needs his third item...and also add that to the annoying gameplay, PLUS the fact.

That I was rocking Sorceror and Warlock for most of my early runs, so didn't need a wizard...I said, no. No Gale.

I don't like Gale.

BUT.

Here's the thing, right?

I got into Gortash... and then I stepped away from Astarion. Started being obsessed with the Dark Urge...

And then I noticed that all of my Durgetash friends were super into Gale, and I didn't get why...

But then weavewithshadow specifically alerted me to the fact that... there are Gale and Gortash parallels...specifically, that they're both brilliant, scruffy, are blinded by ambition, can't appreciate the things they have, and keep chasing after things they can't quite reach.

And then I was like...ok, maybe I've been harsh on him...

So I did his romance...and I felt bad.

Because he's actually very sweet.

And his voice is reallllly lovely when it's soft and fond.

He's a poet...and then I felt bad for all the times I had chewed off his arm.

And honestly, with experience...I now know what to feed him. Mostly garbage magic items like Komira's dumb locket or the ring of color spray from the harpies' nest, or those dumb boots that electrify the water you stand in.

Plus, I'm smart enough to know how to keep Gale alive now, so the necrotic thing isn't an issue.

So.

So. TL;DR I had a very complicated relationship with Gale, first with his mechanics, then with this random out of context scene where he's kind of nasty to you. But I came around, and honestly...right now...I like him more than Astarion.

All he wants to do is...live.

And I relate to that.

And his romance scenes are nice, and he has more of an arc than most of the other companions, Astarion aside.

So there you go, anon.

This took forever to write.

Thanks for the ask, though.

[jjkxla]

Matcha lattes, unfinished letters, velvet cuffs... (18+) 

⇻ pairing: Taehyung x FemaleReader. SugarDaddy!Tae. Dom!Tae.

⇻ synopsis: Taehyung and Vogue work abroad for his next photoshoot, but he uses this longtime break he is also in to bring his well known friends on this trip overseas into the French landscapes. The reader, happily taking this chance to spend more time with him, enjoys a well deserved vacations by being tied on Taehyung's bed.

⇻ tags: minors dni. smut, fwb, SugarDaddy!Taehyung, dom!tae, light bondage, weekend getaway, cunnilungus, multiple orgasms (female receiving), vaginal fisting, light BDSM tones, crack!fic tbh there's a few jokes.

⇻ words: 4.3k.

⇻ links: ao3.

⇻ a/n: lmfao hello again. I'm back posting fics, not sure if I'll ever manage to post all my other old fics here on Tumblr but they are all up on ao3 if you guys were ever interested. Anyways, here is my next fic, it's not that long so hopefully you guys enjoy! I enjoy comments and reblogs a lot, my ask box is open :)

Sunlight filtered through the trees above your head, casting shadows around him like the sun took out a brush and carefully flicked its wrists on the fallen leaves around you both. You hated it. How he didn't need to lift a finger and the whole universe would simply arrange itself to flatter him so.. He was a natural type of beauty, an ethereal one at least. Everything seemed to be for the purpose of exalting his beauty; the honey colour of his skin, the dark curls of his permed and dyed again hair, sitting on top of a bench and showing off the toned physicality of his back.

And if thy right eye offends thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for. thee that one of thy members should perish, and. not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. Matthew 5:29.

The devil could take you down to hell himself and hellfire would not be enough to burn out the desire that clawed at your throat. But this was not the time, or the place for any of that. You could keep thirsting for Taehyung somewhere else, where he didn’t catch you with drool dripping down your chin or with a serious case of “fuck me” eyes whilst there were people around. 

After all, you were just friends, friends that occasionally fucked in unconventional positions (and spots). His buddies were busy photographing him in all his glory for the millions of followers he had on instagram, each one getting off and lusting over him as much as you did. 

Although, unlike those faceless followers, he actually knew you. And you’d know each other whilst he was still training to be the superstar he has become today.

“Has anyone ever told you how easy you are to read?”, you got caught off guard by Wooshik. Grinning cheekily, he raised his iced americano and sipped some from his straw.

“Has anyone ever told you how you can be a dick?”

“Struck a nerve there, huh? Don’t worry you aren’t the only one, I think at least Jennie and Hyungsik seriously reevaluated on staying behind on this overseas trip.”

“Whatever,” you scoffed, “unlike them he actually scheduled it so that we were both free from work  to hang out and travel,”

Wooshik laughed, interrupting you, “that’s cause you’re practically his sugar baby.”

“Shut it, I paid for a few things.”

“Like what.”

“Like the clothes I brought here, jackass, mind your own business.”

“Agent Provocateur doesn't count!”

“Jesus, how much does he tell you?”

“Everything.”

“What are you guys arguing over now?” Taehyung walked back up the path, still shirtless but with a brown cardigan offering a slutty view of his chest. You tried not to stare but failed.

“How bad you’re spoiling our shortie here.”

“I’m not spoiled!”

Tae laughed, leaning closer to you and wrapping his arm around your shoulder. He leaned close, his breath ghosting over yours as he cocked and eyebrow up and smirked. “Does my favourite girl need more attention? Should we share the airbnb room tonight?”

Damn him. Your whole face flushed beet red, eyes shooting wide as you tried not to stutter or stumble on your words. “I-I, You- You should s- I don’t–”

“Save it for tonight Romeo, we still have two more hours on the road before we get to the cabin.”

Taehyung smirked, leaning down and kissing your nose quickly before heading back to the car, his security detail still standing a few feet away. “I’m driving,” he announced, “Y/N, take shotgun so you can spot the cows we see on the road.”

Your eyes lit up, pushing past Wooshik and heading straight towards the grey Hyundai, sitting on the front seat and excitedly clicking the seatbelt on. You could hear Taehyung laughing, his loud square smile ever present as he patted Wooshik's back and told his other friends how you’d go ahead from everyone else. 

“Marselle is quite pretty this time of the year,” Taehyung started as he moved the side mirrors, starting the engine before driving off.

You reached out for the aux cord, connecting it with your phone and sorting through one of the shared playlists you had with Tae. “It’s not as cold as I thought it would be, actually, oh, do you think we can get some matcha around here?”

“Maybe, there’s quite a few cafés but I don’t think I can order one with my shitty French,” he laughed, punching the airbnb address onto the navigation system.

“Nothing my crummy B1 certificate and google translate can’t fix, it’s been working since we got here.”

Tae laughed, glancing at you quickly before focusing on the road, “the waiter from last night’s restaurant disagrees.”

“Okay, whose fault is it that I was in flip flops and a sundress at a fucking french high cuisine restaurant.”

“You didn’t have to bring the google lady out”

“I can’t even pronounce hor d'oeuvres! How was I expected to successfully communicate!?” you demanded. 

Taehyung laughed even more, Michel Buble starting to play in the background as you both bickered. It was fun to spend time with Taehyung like this. Before his group’s hiatus he barely had enough time to go out and meet for coffee. Granted, neither one of you liked coffee, and instead opted for green tea matcha lattes. It was one of your first bonding points, before you both realised how fond you were with jazz and movies. Studying art, living for beauty, that was one of the biggest traits you both shared.

Then, of course, came the sexual chemistry, but that’s for another time. Right now, you were incredibly engrossed with each other, his hand moving from the steering wheel and holding your knee in a caring and reassuring way, pointing out whenever he saw a cow so you could take out your phone and spam your friend’s with pictures of them. It reminded you of your own car trips when you were a child. 

“Did your mom text you today?”

You glanced back at him, raising an eyebrow inquisitively, “no… did she text you?”

“Yeah, she said you don’t call her as often lately.”

“God, since when are you friends with my mother?”

He smirked, “since you answered that facetime call and I was shirtless in the background.”

Your face grew hot, you could even feel the tips of your ears get warmer out of embarrassment, “let’s not talk about my mother right now.”

“Well, we can talk about my mother then,” he grinned.

You glanced back at him, his hand squeezing your thigh before leaving to push his sunglasses up the bridge of his nose. “What about your mother?”

“She invited you for Christmas this year, if you aren’t spending it with your family of course-”

“I’d love to come,” you interrupted.

He smiled. “Great.”

The airbnb was better than you expected. But when it came to Taehyung and his taste you could only ever expect decadence. A palazzio; bubbling champagne in small glass flutes; a box of chocolate splayed over a duck feather comforter; rose and sweet scented candles. He was a romance and beauty corporeal. 

A thing of beauty is a joy for ever: 

Its loveliness increases; it will never 

Pass into nothingness; but still will keep 

A bower quiet for us, and a sleep 

Full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing. from Endymion, J. Keats. 

It was no time to quote the English poets but Keats had an eye for beauty you couldn’t ignore, and right here, right now, you were drunk off the view of everything around you.

Your balcony overlooked a rose garden, but as it was approaching the colder months of the year, instead of blossoming buds of red and pink you saw the deep green bushes surrounding a pond, the statue of lovely Eros and Psyche embracing each other, his wings like cupid spread out behind him. The bushes rushed around the pond like a labyrinth, twisted and confusing, with the autumn leaves falling in splashes of mahogany and burnt orange. 

The sun, still, was high upon the sky, its rays peeking through the trees and drawing the earth in lovely shadows. Your luggage was still open, clothes spread out on your twin bed whilst you searched for the cameras you packed the night before. Engrossed with the settings of your latest birthday present you failed to notice Taehyung walking inside the room. The gentle rape of his knuckles agains the doorframe.. 

So he stayed there, transfixed with your task, a cigarette hanging off his lips. Looking up at him only once the smell of it registered, smiling and leaving the camera on the bed as you walked near.

He sucked on the cigarette, cherry bright red before blowing the smoke behind his shoulder, just in time for you to lean up, arms around his neck. 

“You know I don’t like kissing you after you smoke.”

“I’ll brush my teeth,” he grinned, leaning down his lips brushing against your own, the smell of cigarette becoming a turn on whenever he was this close to you, “I’ll floss and everything.”

“You better,” you replied, leaning up on the tip of your toes and capturing his lips with your own as he took the cigarette out of his mouth.

It was like dancing, Tchaikovsky and his No. 14 pas de Deux. At one point he leaned down and scooped you into his arms, your legs fitting perfectly around his waist as he walked both of you back to his room. The taste of tobacco and smoke lingered still in his tongue and muddled all your other senses, only breaking back into clarity when he dropped you back in his bed. 

Assaulted by the smell of clean linen and a cold breeze passed through his open window. Your hands reached up, searching for the angle of his jaw and to pull him closer against you, but instead he simply clasped your hands, bringing it to his lips and kissing it sweetly. You leaned up on your elbows, watching him retreat back to where his bags were propped. 

Watching him, moved as if at home with the place he rented, the big mirror facing the bed captured the concentrated look of his brown as he looked through his things. 

You, impatient as ever, turned around and looked over the mess of his bedsheets, picking up what appeared to be a pair of brown leather shorts.

“Will I get to see you wearing this today?”

Taehyung glanced back, laughing softly and turning back to the task at hand, “I fear you won’t see me in any clothes for the rest of the day.”

“I’m more than fine with that.”

He kept rummaging, and you turned over to look more through the things he had left scattered, picking up what seemed to be a letter. You couldn’t read a word of it, seeing as he had written in hangul, but you looked over the fancy blue ink, and liked how it didn’t look like the chicken scratch that Hoseok’s handwriting tended to be.

Down, at the bottom of said letter, Taehyung had drawn a silly cartoon of a tiger climbing a tree. This fact made you laugh aloud, enough to have your lover turn around and loudly explain that it was private, to give it back.

“I can’t even read it! What does it say?”

“I’m not done with it yet.”

“But what does it say?” you insisted. 

“It’s just something I do with my dad, ok? It’s more fun.”

“Oh, so the big celebrity has travelled to ye-old-times?” you tease.

He couldn’t help but laugh, finding whatever it was that he was looking for and turning around holding out the white silk cloth in front of you.

“What’s that?”

“For you.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“Well, actually, it’s more for us,” said Taehyung, walking back to the bed and making you drop the piece of paper in your hand.

“What does it do?”

“You’ll see,” he continued, leaning down and kissing you once more. 

You groaned, biting back down on his lip aware that he liked it and just slowly making out with him as he led you back down on the bed.

He laid you gently, comfortably between the pillows, and started to take off your clothes slowly. His mouth follows and kisses every new patch of exposed skin. Down your neck as you let your hair down, shirt off and mouth nipping and licking on the newness of your exposed collarbone. Your shoulders, the hollow of your neck, down your sternum as his hands expertly unhooked your bra and gently dropped it on the bed.

He moved down your body, kissing the moles on your body and only stopping to take off his own white shirt. You grinned, loving the warm honey tone of his skin, hands caressing the side of his arms. But he stopped, glancing at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes and pinning your hands back up above your head. 

“What’s the matter?” you asked, breathing already laboured from kissing him, from feeling him, you needed him badly.

“You can’t touch me tonight.”

“Ha ha, very funny.”

He raised an eyebrow, giving you a funny face that only made you start laughing for real. With one hand he easily grasped both of yours, and quickly shifted his weight to reach for the piece of white silk he had gathered from his luggage. 

Now that you had a better look of it, you noticed the silver hoop that held both pieces of fabric together. And then it clicked, and you just stared at him as he concentrated and slipped the hoop above you in the headboard, both your wrists being tied neatly in the white silk to keep them high above you.

“You’re getting kinky, honey.”

“It was bound to happen sooner or later.”

“Really? Then what else are we trying today?”

Taehyung hummed, checking your wrists were safely snug and then reaching under your pillow. From there, a big purple dildo.

“Borahae”.

You bursted out laughing, both of you did. His eyes crinkling and reaching to wipe a tear and kissing the side of your face until you thought of a very uncomfortable thing.

“Wait, you aren’t putting that up my ass.”

“And I’m not going to, doubt you prepped for anal.”

“Good… Just checking…”

“I wouldn’t do something like that without talking about it first.”

“Then what are these handcuffs?”

“You said you wanted to try it, and also how you wanted me to fist you and somehow rip your heart out from your pussy.”

Your cheeks grew red, your friends had definitely betrayed you. “Wait, so, I’m getting fisted?”

“I’m thinking about it, the dildo is just to help you stretch a bit while I warm you up.”

“How am I getting warmed up?” you grinned, wanting to know everything before it actually happened as your heart was racing against your chest, aroused but deadly nervous to this entire thing. You were small, and much, much, smaller than Taehyung at that. 

He smiled coyly, his voice honey-sweet, “that’s a surprise.”

But you had no second to think about it, with him moving down and crashing his lips on yours. He kissed you hard, drunkenly, biting and nipping on your lips before slipping his tongue inside your mouth.

He muffled out all your moans, eyes screwed shut in pleasure and tugging on the cuffs wanting to touch him as your body leaned up to kiss him back.

You didn’t like being submissive, you tended to like more taking control of the situation, but it was in moments like this, and specifically under Taehyung’s (haha) influence that you melted like butter. He guided and moved you every which way, your mind barely registering how he took off your pants and underwear, not noticing he had grabbed lube until he broke the kiss.

A string of saliva still connected your mouth, your tongue poking out of your mouth and licking it back while looking at him. A true picture of beauty and desire, his hair falling right over his eyes, only the coy smile of his visible as he squirted lube on his fingers and on the purple toy. 

You gasped, his fingers cold to the touch and making your toes curl as he pressed his fingers against your clit.

Not being tied at the ankles, you comfortably spread your legs wider, giving him enough space to look at what he was doing, making him chuckle at how eager you were getting. “You’re getting wet,” he said.

You simply moaned, eyes closing in pleasure and sinking down into the bed whilst he touched you, a small gasp leaving your lips as you felt his fingers pressing down against your entrance and pushing in.

Your hips shifted down, making him reach deeper inside you and making you shiver in pleasure. 

But just as quickly his fingers left, making you open your eyes to complain and just gasping as he pushed the dildo inside you, back arching and grunting as you accommodate to its size, which was not that far off from Taehyung’s to begin with.

“That’s my good girl.”

Flushing, you peaked an eye at him, “you’re enjoying this.”

“We both are Y/N”

You cursed as he used your name, he knew it made your knees go weak, and currently he was making your entire lower body weak. 

Honestly you had no idea what he was planning, which made this all even more unnerving, gasping once you felt his warm mouth on your clit, sucking and flicking it harshly with his tongue before pressing the flat of it against the bundle of nerves. He was giving you head and penetrating you at the same time, go figure. Taehyung managed to do the two things he liked best at the same time somehow.

You gasped, moaned, pulling down harshly on the handcuffs as you felt warmth building in the pit of your stomach, Taehyung slowly moving the toy in and out of you as he concentrated his mouth on making you unravel.

And unravel you do, your lower body tingling and making your breathing more laboured as he elicited the most lewd and wettest sounds from you. The squelches of your arousal and his saliva mixing together and echoing in the empty room as you cursed out his name.

“C-Close,” you gasped out, the silk burning on your wrist as you tugged and squirmed underneath him.

Tae leaned back, his chin shiny with your arousal, the dildo still thrusting in and out of you which had your toes curling, “cum for me,” he said, voice raspy with want.

Your vision blurred, back arching off the bed as you cried out his name, completely forgetting you would be sharing this airbnb with a few other people and screaming as loud as you could. 

Taehyung helped you ride it all out, grinning widely as he saw your body jump and twitch from his touch, doing as he wanted whenever he commanded, and slowly slipping out the dildo as you calmed down. 

But even whilst you were recollecting yourself, his fingers slipped in and replaced the toy. You grunted, feeling spent but glancing back at him you got only more aroused by the glint in his eyes.

“You’re so wet for me.”

“S-Shit, are you seriously going to-”

“Yes,” he interrupted, fingers curled and pressing against your spot making you moan again. He was slow, careful and methodical with his approach. Reading the way you reacted and sticking to what made you moan the loudest, shift your hips closer to his hand.

He stopped, used more lube, and started again. You came again. And he kept persisting until he was closer. You, on the other hand, were sweaty, weak, and had seen God at least twice already with how violently Taehyung made you cum. 

And he felt big, bigger than usual, four of his fingers inside of you and you groaned and complained, with him stopping and checking with you every two seconds.

“How are you holding up, darling?”

“G-Good, fuck, so good Christ you’re big.”

He laughed softly, moving slowly, letting you accommodate, and went down to his forearm, “I’m going to do it now love, that ok?”

“P-Perfect, I won’t last.”

But taehyung stopped for a second, worrying you, “d-did something happened,” you glanced back at him, just to notice him inches away from you, mouth crashing on yours and muffling out any moan.

You melted more against him, complete putty for him to shape and mould out to his heart’s desire. The kiss lasted only a few seconds, felt him with his clean hand brush a few of your hairs away from your face and kiss your temple. Moving back down and counting softly before he slipped his hand out and pushed his fist inside you. 

Without a second thought you came, your back arching and groaning at the first discomfort of this position and just screaming at how full you felt. How filled with him. The lines blurring inside your head, no longer sure where he began and you ended, and instead, you simply felt the entirety of him eveloping you whole. 

His warmth, the weight of his body over you, the musky clean smell of his sweat, and just how lovely his voice was. Full of praise, encouraging you as you came down from your high, slowly moving and eyes bright and drunk with pleasure. 

And just as soon as that, he slipped his hand out, sticky and smelling like you as he cupped your face once more and tilted your head up for another greedy kiss.

Lips smacking, tongue searching inside your mouth, and vibrating with his groan as you lazily responded back. The tips of your fingers tingled before he reaches up and lets your hands free. 

They fell down in a thud, with you feeling heavy as lead but light as a feather, only leaning up to pull Taehyung’s body closer and grinding down against the fabric of his pants, leaving a wet streak of your arousal on it. 

“Y/N, Love,” he laughed, leaning back, “give a second I should take my pants off-”

“Yes, do that,” but instead of letting him go you pulled him back to you, kissing his mouth, down to his chin and biting on his neck hard enough to make him wince.

But Taehyung moaned, turned on even more by the pain and with a heavy clink of his belt he was pushing his trousers and boxers out of the way. You wanted him, still intoxicated with the feeling of his skin as you made use of having your hands back to yourself to dig your nails on his shoulder blades and drag them down his back. 

Taehyung responded just as quickly, head tilting to the side as you marked him yours and reached out for a condom, shifting himself to be perfectly on top as your legs wrapped around his waist.

You were weak, on a cloud, leaving a red bite mark on his perfect chest before he gripped on both your wrists and pinned them once more above your head with a single hand. You groaned, turned on by his show of strength, and whimpered out a pathetic sound that resembled his name as he entered you. 

It was hard, tortuous, and you couldn't stop screaming even if they paid you. 

Neck exposed he left a constellation of hickeys and kisses on your skin, his hips snapping against yours in a way that was going to definitely cripple you by next morning. 

He squeezed your wrists tighter, the sharp sting of it making you tighten around him and made him stutter in his pace. You laughed, leaning up and biting on his lip, dragging it between your teeth and hearing him take a shaky breath before he snapped his hips harder. Effectively shutting you up.

And he continued like that, the old bed starting to shift with you both, headboard hitting the wall and echoing the thumps of his cock inside you as you felt your orgasm coming.

Taehyung’s laboured breath just egged you on, leaning up and kissing his neck and shoulders, biting down on his shoulder and making him moan loudly.

“F-Fuck, please, be close.”

“I-I am,” you gasped.

“Cum, fuck I want to feel you around me,” Taehyung’s voice was breezy, almost whiny, like he couldn’t hold on for longer. And how could you stop yourself when he sounded so desperate while simultaneously destroying you?

Stars was an understatement of what you saw when you finished. Colours and blurs of light mingled together, you might as well have passed out for a second with how violently you came. And he came just as hard, letting out a loud moan mixed in with what seemed to be your name. 

He collapsed on top of you, his sweaty chest flush against yours. Neither one of you moved, just feeling him grow soft inside you without any intention of leaving.

You moved your arms around him, hugging him and fingertips slowly brushing over the scratches you had left on his back. You protested when he moved to get up, with you only letting go once he kissed you swiftly. 

He walked back up to the bathroom, his cute ass all perky as he discarded the condom and came back with a wet towel, the mess underneath you becoming a problem for another day.

“Remember you have to pee.” Taehyung  only wiped you clean, glancing back at you with a princely smile.

“Please, let’s not talk about me getting an UTI, I want to cuddle.”

“I’ll carry you to the toilet and I’ll hug you while you pee.”

“Okay I’ll take that.”

He laughed again, leaning back to you and kissing the tip of your nose before picking you up and cradling you in his arms. “Oh, that reminds me.”

“Hm?”

“We’re still not done here.”

[olivieblake]

Hi Olivie bestie!

Not my normal ask but I guess I have a life advice question?

For context: I got accepted off the waitlist to UCLA’s med school (feeling very Cecily in this moment tbh) but it’s my first MD acceptance compared to my DO schools. I guess my questions are a) what’s LA like? I’ve never even been there and don’t really know people from there to ask (or if even Mr.Blake has any insight on moving from the Midwest to LA-I know I’m not really from the Midwest technically but close enough). I don’t really have the money to go visit it anytime soon so it would really just be me showing up there in time for school b) Am I really fucked if I don’t have a car living there? It’s something I know I have to work on getting for MS2 but idk if I’ll be able to afford one before then. And I guess c) I know I’m realistically the only person who can answer this for myself but is it worth it to be wayyy more in debt and be so far away from my family:people I know than my close to home less more resources/opportunities DO program. Again I know that’s really only something *I* can answer but any insight on things I should consider would be great 😭

I have to make this decision in like 5 days hahah (but even if you see this wayyy later that’s okay would still love to hear any advice).

Sorry this is such a weird ask but you’re one of the only people I kinda sort know that lives in LA/moved to a different state across the country for their professional school so I figured I would ask.

Still hoping I get off the waitlist to my dream program (an MD program that is also close to home) but this is such a big opportunity that I don’t know if I can or should pass up 😅 but I’m an indecisive person!!

ALSO LOVING THE DAILY JANUARIES TRACKLIST REVELS!!! Literally living for it it’s so fun-can’t wait to see all the other titles 🥰

-Amanda

hmmmm well let’s see LA things first: it would be quite difficult to live without a car but I think you’d be okay on the west side. public transportation does exist, and it is also improving a lot because of the infrastructure changes leading up to the olympics. not always the most efficient thing for getting directly from A to B but doable. I think if you chose your housing well you’d be able to figure it out. of course, the cost of living in LA is quite high, so that’s something to keep in mind. but I for example live here because my brain is very fragile and breaks easily without a lot of sun, so to me that cost is 10000% worth it. also, I do love this city, as silly as that is to say. I wouldn’t be who I am without this city. I think it’s a great place to be, especially considering the political stakes in this country—LA doesn’t support or enforce ICE investigations and I feel comfortably sure that this is the safest place I could be as far as body autonomy and reproductive rights. also the produce is great here year round. truly! it’s amazing. worth the rent, she says, biasedly

but that being said I know what it’s like to choose between two schools and ultimately I think you’ll have to go with your gut on this one. I remember that I chose my law school because I had this ~feeling~—I just knew something important was waiting for me in chicago. it wasn’t technically the more rational choice because the other law school I was choosing between was higher ranked, but I just knew in my bones where I needed to be.

give or take a week after moving in, I met my husband. if I’d gone to the other law school, I probably would have finished law school—I’d probably be a lawyer right now. strange to think about but I’d resigned myself to a very different life before I met mr blake, and now here we are

ultimately I think we get where we need to go. and if all else fails, it’s never too late to change your path

[magicalrocketships]

Books!! Thanks to @officialmood for the tag :)

An estimate of how many physical books I own: Me, staring at my bookcases and doing an estimate per shelf x number of shelves... maybe 500? (and if you include ebooks, then there are 304 books in my to read folder and 339 in my read and keep folder). AND I did a big clear out before I moved last year. And took four bags to the charity book shop earlier this year. I cycle a lot of second hand books in and out tbh.

Favorite author: There are loads of favourite books and I could pretty much go on about most of the books on my shelves, but I think I could continue to lose myself in Lois McMaster Bujold's books over and over and over again. I know that Georgette Heyer books are very much Of Their Time but it is also true that if I ever need a comfort read then I know what to reach for.

A popular book I've never read and never intend to read: Godddddddddd. Liza said Infinite Jest and I also have zero intention of ever reading this. But SO MANY.

A popular book I thought was just meh: Red, White, and Royal Blue. I did not get along with Wolf Hall, but I also didn't get that far into it before giving in.

Longest book I own: Toss up between the Neal Stephenson Baroque Cycle volumes, War and Peace, Samantha Shannon's The Priory of the Orange Tree (although I've lent this out and probably won't get it back), and Victoria Goddard's Hands of the Emperor / At The Feet of the Sun. They're all pretty chunky, without doing any specific investigation.

Longest series I own all the books to: Elinor M. Brent-Dyer's Chalet School series (approx 62 books, depending on which editions you own). After that, Lois McMaster Bujold's Vorkosigan series.

Prettiest book I own: I don't own any where the cover is the prettiest thing I've ever seen, but I do own a queer historical photography book where together the inside and out is the prettiest visual history. Some of my books are v pretty because of the way they make me feel, but that's a different question.

A book or series I wish more people knew about: Maybe Hands of the Emperor by Victoria Goddard? There's a core few of us that feel a lot about it. One of my very oldest internet friends that I haven't seen in years sent me a package earlier in the year that was just a notebook that had reminded her of this book and therefore it was a necessity to share it with me (she was right to do this). I also kind of want more people to talk to about Joan Aiken's Black Hearts in Battersea series.

Book I’m reading now: I'm listening to Jingo by Terry Pratchett, have just picked up the second Sandman volume, and I'm partway through Our Wives Under The Sea by Julia Armfield (although I realised last night that it was too creepy for me to read in bed, lollllllll)

Book that’s been on my TBR list for a while but I still haven’t gotten around to it: BRB just going to stare into an invisible camera, my goodreads to read pile is 462 books long and is only made up of stuff that I own / once owned and is probably not up to date with paperbacks. Let's say The Simarillion, because I've probably intended to read that since I was a kid (and have not yet managed it). I've read 133 books so far this year and yet my to read pile never gets any fucking smaller.

Do you have any books in a language other than English: Nope. I used to own some HP books in German and Latin but I did not keep them. I am not very good at languages, although me and the Duolingo owl are trapped in a daily standoff.

Paperback, hardcover or ebook?: Mixture of all three. Love a good paperback but I am... gently allergic to paper, so sometimes if I've read too many paper books my hands pay the price, and on the whole I do believe that skin should stay on my body, where I've put it, rather than peel off and bleed. A healthy mix of ebook and paperbook in general, with the odd hardback.

People have probably already done this, but tagging @junkshop-disco, @magog83, @dearmrsawyer, and @pennyplainknits.

[horsetailcurlers2]

YET ANOTHER long and obnoxious stream of my thoughts while watching greys anatomy for the first time (season 12 because i’m back, babey)

-bailey i love you but you are in way over ur head

-the music this season is insane tbh. soft piano covers of megan trainor and iggy azalea?? is this a choral cover of “shake it off”????

-i love maggie actually

-wait, maggie, bestie. i thought we ALL mutually decided as a group that none of us were gonna kiss interns anymore. stop it

-i love that ellen pompeo is just using her natural voice/accent now. i feel like she definitely put on a “meredith voice” in the early seasons

-okay, i’ve seen clips of this whole edwards-wilson-amelia conflict on tiktok. with context, jo and amelia don’t come off as AS bad but it’s still wild that jo just assumes edwards is lying AND that amelia believes it too. like, i get that edwards has been known to lie and finagle things to work the system, but still a crazy leap to make. not the first time jo has just ran with an assumption. tbh i think amelia is the most in the wrong in this scenario.

-i really like the way this dinner party episode is filmed!

-also: the only social scenario i can imagine more nightmarish than a new partner straight up abandoning you at a dinner party full of strangers is if the dinner party happens to be hosted by the woman you helped make a widow

-“skanks, PERHAPS?” i love maggie

-i love meredith so much but sometimes it feels like she doesn’t get that amelia is grieving too. i get it. and i know that amelia can be brash and childish and also that mer is used to dealing with her pain in a very solitary way, but i think it would’ve been better if they’d grieved together.

-i guess the writers decided the beating meredith takes every season was gonna stop being figurative

-i like meredith and amelia’s relationship a lot more than i thought i would. they are very very different people and i like seeing them sort of not knowing how to navigate each other or their relationship with each other.

-obsessed with arizona and richard’s friendship

-i think my brain just skips over anything about april and jackson

-i am so deeply confused about this single leg surgery thing. is this guy just supposed to hop around like the pixar lamp?

-lowkey i hate jackson

-i am genuinely confused about why catherine thinks it’s necessary to sue april???

-ben is going a little cuckoo bananas.

-why is he shocked and flabbergasted that he’s suspended????? what the fuck did he think was gonna happen???

-what is callie on about??? has everyone lost their damn minds???!!

-one thing about meredith grey is that she loves a pair of belted loose pants and some sensible loafers

-i don’t feel as bad for callie as i probably should. like… this is kind of your fault.

-edwards needs to CHILL

-owen and amelia are both way too impulsive to be with each other. they both need to be with people less impulsive to balance them out

-i know it’s just a real life logistics issue but i genuinely cannot fathom a universe in which addison doesn’t come to amelia’s wedding

-i do think she’s being unreasonable but part of me loves grouchy mean meredith

-“nothings wrong with owen” “well, he could use some sun” meredith PLEASE

-i always thought that april had DIY mom energy but this IS NOT what i meant

[naranjapetrificada]

Consider this your opportunity to be an Astrology Bitch and go off about Leo Stede!

(signed, a Virgo sun, Cancer moon, Capricorn rising who simultaneously is and is not an Astrology Bitch, more of a Tarot Bitch tbh)

Okay! You asked for it lol.

I should start by saying that I'm an August Leo sun. Stede is a July Leo, as confirmed by the show:

July Leos are...different somehow? It's not a bad thing and it's not their fault, and if anybody else comes for them we August Leo's will throw down for our siblings, but there's something about the vibes! Maybe it's the Cancer proximity, idk. If anything my anecdata suggests that they're more well adjusted than the rest of us. 🦁❤️🦁

Anyway, I immediately sat up and noticed when they cut to the gravestones because it's second nature for me as an Astrology Gay. Obviously I didn't know Stede at the time and I don't actually know what went down as the character was developed, but I wouldn't be at all surprised if I learned that at least one person in the writers room was a fellow Astrology Gay.

So I completely forgot about his birthdate because a) ADHD and b) swooniest romance I'd ever seen, but I started thinking about it again when I showed up like a year late to the fandom and saw people talk about whether they were Ed coded or Stede coded. I am heavily, heavily Stede coded for neurodivergent reasons, but he also exhibits certain Very Leo traits that I recognized immediately.

Leo stereotypes:

Let's get the stereotypes out of the way because while they do apply sometimes (especially for Stede), there's no need to rehash them in detail.

Leadership, which he struggles with at first but a) takes up the mantle of it anyway and b) improves enough that by the end of the season the crew that wanted to mutiny saves his life.

Good hair. Nuff said.

The man has an auxiliary wardrobe for fucks sake.

His "theatrical instincts are finely honed" and while Izzy says it to encourage the fuckery, it's not a lie.

The Revenge

If an 18th century Leo was going to custom build a pirate ship and money was no object, they would 1000% build the Revenge. I could see arguing that a Taurus might build something similar, but honestly I'm not sure a Taurus would become a pirate by choice. Maybe a Taurus might build like, a pleasure yacht or something. A Libra might build a ship that's as good-looking as the Revenge but sharing expensive tastes isn't enough to convince me either. Stede's money allowed him to build and decorate luxuriously, but plenty of rich people used to comfort didn't have ships like the Revenge. As Nigel says during his tour, it's just so incredibly him.

Now for some feelings stuff:

Leos love it when other people are happy, and when we can be involved in fostering that at all for people we care about we are ON IT. Stede wants to create space for others to get what they need to make that happen. Literally in the first episode he talks about the Revenge as somewhere for his crew to work on their trauma and communicate their feelings.

The above is also an extension of Stede's instinctive generosity. Canon doesn't tell us where Ed got his clothes for the French boat party in episode 5, but given that Stede has an auxiliary wardrobe (which he shared with Ed almost immediately) the most likely scenario seems like he loaned (or maybe even gave!) it to Ed. Another possibility is that it was on the ship where Frenchie found his and Oluwande's outfits, but the purple jacket in particular seems very extra in a way that says "Stede" to me.

Speaking of episode 5, let's talk about the party game. Obviously the main takeaway is that Stede has enough of a handle on passive aggression to make the French assholes tear each other apart, but it's not just the passive aggression, it's in the delivery. With sufficient motivation (Ed's hurt feelings, if not his own) we see Stede command the room with confidence. He chooses his targets well. He knows just what to say to get them to agree to play the game at all. The fire wasn't part of the original plan but it shows just how powerful those hard-won skills are when he wants to apply them. (This doesn't feel like it merits its own bullet point but Leos are protective, ride-or-die friends, something else we see in this episode.)

Stede's love language, imo, is quality time. There are arguments for others (there's also a really good meta about his love language causing miscommunication with our touchy-feely boy Ed, if I can find the link I'll edit) but quality time seems the most appropriate to me. Another part of the whole generosity of spirit thing is that he seems to enjoy what a friend of mine called "engineering experiences" for people i.e. crafting activities and jam sessions for the crew. The most obvious of these is the treasure hunt for Ed, which of course comes out of his fear of Ed leaving, but it's also a way for them to spend time together. I'm not at all surprised that a lonely, bullied kid would grow up to value quality time.

I would also extend this to the clearly routine (but still extravagant) breakfast for two that we see Calico Jack crashing in episode 8. Not to mention the first breakfast he and Ed ever share up on the maintop in episode 4. It's not fancy, but he wakes Ed up to share in that moment because he's enjoying the sunrise and the marmalade, and I can't think of anything more Leo than enjoying something then immediately wanting to share it because someone else might enjoy it too.

Stede's not perfect of course, despite all those seemingly positive things I just said. In the way of some Leos he is frequently thoughtless, up to and including when he didn't make to the dock. I can't speak for every Leo but I have definitely accidentally flirted with/been read as flirting with people before, whether I was attracted to them or not. And yeah his quarters are nice but he could have used some of that space for more crew quarters, right? And how could a Leo possibly misread "what makes Ed happy is you" as badly as he did?

Well I may be an Astrology Binch but I mostly like it (and anything else that puts personalities into discrete groups) as an analysis tool. It's just a fun lens to examine behaviors through, IRL and with fictional characters. Also, the show is clearly trying to examine things like trauma and self-loathing in ways that are gonna inform character behavior way more than a hypothetical astrology enthusiast in the (admittedly pretty queer) writers room. But the vibes? The vibes are so there.

[khaleesiofalicante]

tbh dani i dont give a fuck about the clave or alec or david or (th eone i never understood or care for) kincaid (like bro even gabriel killed his demon father all he had to do is out his dad or take a stance against him but he wants the damn glory and feels tied to his destone and no i am not willing to hear anything in support of this familywho somehow is still more powerful than lance), nor do i care about that bitch victoria( bc no matter her mental problems I HATE HER), or that asshole fucking hope he gets mauled kyle,

I only care about max and lance and david (and yes that is right i really dont give a shit about arthur either)

I think its obvious i am high on this chapter's feelings, idk i feel strongly for accountbaility where its due and revenge in general but esp for lance. Though i had hoped lance would burn idris or get revege by killing people , bc arthur got hurt i wasnt that mad like i was mad bc of teh reasoning behind it and bc i hate kyle but it was sort fo his fault did he think it wld be all lalala land if he goes to idris that littel shit anyways, BUT BUT GWEN ?!? DANI , wow wow i am speechless but in a mad kind of way. i dont accept this. nope no no no

how much is that family esp lance and david going to hurt, i just want a proper revenge for them at teh end, like people begging for thier/them for forgiveness sort of, i know they are never going to be apert of the shadowworld but i had hoped it alawys had shadow demons over them, i hate them that much

i also dont like that kincaid was so easily able to defeat lance and people celebrated it, I loved lance in this ch like wooo go off boy, and wow max being all powerfull and manipulating blood was sooooo cool, go be badass baby, also arthur should be grounded for a decade or so or even for life, i hated how kincaid downplayed lance and arthur relationship like idgaf whether arthur CHOSE you or not, lance is superior sorry kid.

I also HATED RAFE , but that is normal for me now, i havent liked him in lbaf for a long long while. i hope they lb family just cuts all of thier siblings and cousins off, like no contact and they fucking realize or feel how much that family suffered , like of wow you didnt have sun for 20 years big deal bro, there are places on earth which doeasnt have that for 6 mnths every year since eternity. they DESERVED THAT isaid what i said, i am just getting bored of rafe and his reasoning like oh NOW you decide to fight harder what does he want congratulations?!

the idris people and kincaid deserved the bad thinsg happening to them for me, like i feel it isnt enough, also madeline srsly you knew abt lance being david kid and possibly inheriting the demon blood, did you think it was a good idea to go to idris when pregnant with your husband like i think you vicariously consented to the liability and possibility of damage when you also knew david can do shadow demon shit.

so yeah i am beyond reason in this fic when it comes to hating idris and all living being there and only support lance and david and max ( yes i am deliberately leaving arthur his idiotic naviety that kincaid cares about him when it comes to him vs his own family or so called destiny he is irritating me , like sir he doesnt give a shit about what he said to you idk why he believed kincaid's promises.)

i just want someone to lecture them after locking them in a room preferably alec i have no hope for rafael in this fic he is beyond any hope for me and so is kincaid so

😘thank you for teh rollercoaster of the chapter bye. But i hope you give vengeance to lance and his family against idris. 👿

This was A RIDE lmao.

I love when y'all take it personally and get emotional (shows me I am doing my job 😎)

I can't promise you anything. But I can tell you that I believe in happy endings, but I don't think everyone gets one. A story where EVERYONE gets their happy ending doesn't make sense to me. Some people do and others do. As to who will get it and who won't is entirely up to (in this scenario, me lmao).

So we shall wait and see :)

[imminent-danger-came]

Hi again! Listen, if we indeed get the MK vs SWK fight you've been predicting, I want it to be CATHARTIC. I want both parties fighting to show the RAWEST, UGLIEST, MOST FUCKED UP parts of themselves to each other without holding back, and embrace those parts in one another wholeheartedly just as much at the end. And I don't want this fight to be at the end of the show, no, I want it to be inn the midle of the show run, not even just a few episodes spare afterwards but several seasons, to see them work on the ruined previous framework and build on it as a sturdier, more stable foundation, and I want to see it unfold and develop in the show. I want to see them fight together with that new bond against the big boss or whatever passes as it. I think what I'm trying to say is Eldritch!MK better not be the last boss, and that even in a fight with out-of-control MK, SWK still unconsciously holds back even if he doesn’t want to. Also for Wukong to show his OG power in its full glory at the end against the final boss who is hopefully not Eldritch MK. You may disagree with some of my points but we can agree to disagree. Eat fruits!

DUDE. YES.

In my mind I've never thought of Eldritch!MK as the final big bad, legitimately. Which now I realize that's kinda silly, because the show could go that direction, but in my mind MK would be pushed further down a path of chaos by being manipulated by our new antagonist. This isn't something he would want ("This isn't what I wanted!" for the sweet sweet Azure parallel), but something he'd be pushed into—whether through manipulation, or past memories, or some reveal or WHATEVER it is that pushes him to the brink.

Ultimately however, MK has to eventually defy his fate and use his powers to leave the world "better than he found it"—he has to come to terms with the fact that he'll hurt people, and people will hurt him, and that's how life works. He ultimately has to accept himself. Being the "final boss" of the show would leave very little time for MK to truly learn to love himself and learn who he truly is, which is why I think it probably won't happen. Maybe he'd be the final boss of a season—but certainly not the show as a whole.

But a cathartic and messy Wukong and MK fight? That's something I am hoping we get, and think we definitely have the potential to get! Here's a short list of people who have chewed Wukong out thus far:

Mei (3x10)

Macaque (4x11)

Curse MK (4x07)

Azure (4x13)

Pigsy (2x10)

Ne Zha (3x01, 3x10)

Now, with how often it's brought up the ways in which Wukong has failed MK...don't you think MK should have a turn here? MK gets close in 2x07, but there he's yelling at Macaque disguised as Wukong, so obviously that doesn't count. We are long overdue for MK himself laying out all of the hurt and anger he's been holding onto for 4 seasons—that itself needs to happen, whether it's through a physical fight or not.

And after finally, EVERYTHING is out in the open, they can build their relationship stronger than it was before. I, like you, really do hope Wukong and MK (or even MK and Mei tbh) fight together against our last big bad. Honestly watching them fight together in 4x13 was so fulfilling, seeing them bounce off one another and work together just like MK always wanted.

However, I am also ready for them to tear each other apart (MK for SWK literally, but SWK for MK probably metaphorically lol) and then build each other back up, both of them fully accepting each other, flaws and all. Just because you love each other doesn't mean you won't hurt one another, you know? Just because you love someone doesn't mean they're not flawed. And in some ways, I think both Sun Wukong and MK need to accept that fact about each other. Like, this confrontation needs to be MESSY and RAW, and I think a climatic anime battle is a great way to do that (4x13 MK V Azure fight proving my point perfectly, or honestly even something like Samadhi Fire Mei in 3x10).

But those are just my thoughts!

[heirscrchd]

🌌 💐

𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐉𝐈 𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐒!

🌌 MILKY WAY - what was the inspiration behind your oc? what was the first thing you decided about them?

Your honor, I love women being evil with morally complex histories and ideals of how good intentions can be played out in the worst of ways. Along with how the nuances of war and ideals of the future change as the years go on and how mental health also impacts our trajectory and relationships.

Genuinely I've loved Azula for a long time, but tbh when I watched Avatar I never actually was in the RP scene. I didn't get into the RP scene till like, 2012? And that's when Korra came out, and I didn't really like it after the ending of season 1ish. It just fell off to me and so i lost interest in the series but recently.

Well tbh, I got really fucking high and went on netflix and saw avatar and was like "oh yeah i should watch that :D" and then made an entire blog in one night. But I genuinely love Azula as a complex character who with her intelligence and planning does believe in the "original" idea of the fire nation's reason for the war: to improve the lives and spread their influence and in turn their prosperity with the world. The only problem being the method of which one does this as she was taught to believe they *must* accept their gifts and if not then force it upon them through shows of strength and power since clearly they don't understand progress.

She's a very interesting character and i love diving into her ideals. i still need to re-read smoke and shadow though because i. i genuinely have no fucking clue what shes doing in that one other than trolling people tbh.

💐 BOUQUET - create a bouqet for them! what do those flowers mean? are any of the flowers their particular favourite?

NOOO MY GREATEST FUCKING WEAKNESS. FUCKING, FLOWER SYMBOLISM? REALLY??? S O BS /lh

Amaryllis - Strength and Pride, not to mention their bright red color is 100% Azula

Pale Red Carnation - “my heart aches for you,” more akin to feelings of how she longs for her family's love and affection. Or perhaps how Ursa's heart aches for Azula and the treatment she was put through and the love she never could have given her.

Marigold - Grief, cruelty, like Azula she is beautiful as she is dangerous and a representation of how even the "nicest" looking peoples can hold a much darker side to them.

(made up flower) Pheonix Flowers - Bright red and beautiful they blossom for only a short period much like Azula who while in the peak of her campaign and work within the war flourished and accomplished many things. Yet like them, their beauty only lasts a short time before they are wrung dry but the hot summer heat and sun combust into flames burning away to ashes and leaving only the seeds of new flowers behind. Azula would also find this to be her fate as she loses grip on reality and her mental state combusting and burning away to nothing but ashes of her former self.

[historia-vitae-magistras]

sorry for this dumb horny question but who (or what? because i won't judge) is matthew's best fuck?

OH That's a very interesting question. When he and Jan were good they were good. That sex was mind-blowing. Matt sucks cock like he was born to do it (tbh probably the trait Francis is most proud of when he hears about it third hand) and Jan was a happy, happy man for a very long time. Jan was also very good at fucking Matt so hard he had enough serotonin or dopamine for months. Man's prostate got worked over in a kind of way Matt could walk straight all weekend.

He gave Maria a pretty good time. She fucks him for the bit in the 90s because someone said he should count as Latin American just to spite Alfred and his goddamn economic wheeling and dealing to make them the worlds weirdest threesome . (No seriously its been four times someone told me I count as Latin American just to say fuck off to the Americans in a group and like.... on a technicality I fucking guess but its a very strange mind screw.) Don't ask me if it was memorable because his entire body was on capsicum related fire or because he the kind of sunburnt so painful it starts to feel a bit like nutting or if they actually clicked but it'd been awhile since either of them had fucked so it just happened.

Katya is probably the most intense. There's almost something religious about it, his bare back in black earth, her riding with her head thrown back and her body soft against him, fingers interlaced with earth and sky and sun all around them. They fuck soft, they fuck hard, they fuck against trees and in fields and on the floor and on the counter and on the table and the sofa. They often go so long without each other that when they do finally get to it, it's like dumping petrol on a fire they're going up in the horniest flames. He fucks her, she fucks him, it doesn't quite matter for those two because no matter where in the world she is, she's in him, a part of him. Sometimes I think that for nations, they fuck like the gods did at the dawn of the world. Before onion domes and Orthodoxy or cathedrals and Catholicism, the trees were the temples and blood, earth and lovemaking was the language of the gods. Sometimes they fuck and the garden will grow. Somethings they fuck and the ice will ease up. Sometimes they fuck and the old world is new and the new world is old. People use the phrase 'I saw god' for when someone comes so hard their world view is changed. For the best times, for the very best times between Matt and Katya, god can stay in his distant heaven because all he'll see is her.