#these same people would probably swear up and down that what a woman wears isn't important

[marzipanandminutiae]

What on earth is a 'corset apologist'? Like, because you acknowledge corsets were perfectly functional supportive undergarments, you're an agent of the patriarchy??

Yep, that's it exactly.

As with all the other red flags in the post, it's not a guaranteed t*rf signal. I've known plenty of non-t*rfs who expressed similar views (including the person who claimed Abby Cox was "looking down her perfectly powdered nose" at Mary Wollstonecraft for daring to [checks notes] point out that Wollstonecraft was rather judgmental about her fellow women's interest in dress). But...it's definitely a "check blog for t*rf leanings" tip-off for me.

And yes, to clarify: some people (t*rfs or otherwise) think female dress history researchers/historical costumers/vintage fashion enthusiasts who don't believe that corsets were The Root of All Evil when commonly worn are just brainwashed patriarchal shills and we can't possibly know what we're talking about.

Because that's way easier than thinking critically about the history you've been taught, and not vaguely misogynistic at all! </s>

[undercoverpena]

iii. when pounding dough isn't just baking

joel miller x f!reader | chapter three of honey stained hands

chapter summary: and he can already hear what Jackson will say if they find out, the looks he’ll get—because how dare he poison the sweet woman who tends to bees and bakes cakes. but he dares. fuck he’d dare over and over again.

warnings: patrol times, allusion to grief, minor mentions of loss of loved ones (rip tess/sarah), reader is unwarrantedly slapped on the ass by an unknown male (she handles it, cause she's a baddie), soft, slow-smut, p in v, typical canon-angst, no physical descriptions, minor use of the nickname 'bee' but no use of y/n. wordcount: 5.1k an: fuck me, she's uploaded hahaha. for this chapter, there's far too many people to thanks, I've rambled about this to anyone who listens, but as always thank you to @thetriumphantpanda for propping me up when this felt like it would never happen and thank you also to @goodwithcheese who loves this, probably as much as me, but has also reminded me i have to love it first.

It’s hard to pinpoint when the snow first began to truly settle.

When it began to simply dust itself over things, and then when it shifted into blanketing.

One day, normal. The next there’s a sheet of white hanging expertly over roofs and porches. It's placed there by the hands of nature, blanketing everything in innocence, unveiling deception by the way of footprints, while hiding away the horrors that have deteriorated and spoiled into the ground.

It twinkles when stared at and crunches under the soles of boots. It goes hand in hand with the weather which makes mist appear from lips as people converse, going on with their new normal. It forces laughter from individuals as it falls in flutters, collecting on noses, hands and the ground, just before snow people begin to appear, all crafted expertly by hands and joy. But, the snow also makes bones in those who are older ache and makes excited giggles flow from those who are younger.

For Joel, it drives him to yank his gloves further up his hands, causes him to grumble and makes him narrow his eyes as Ellie rolls another snowball and threatens to throw it.

She eventually settles with heading off to find Tommy, leaving him to stuff the gloves under the cuff of his jacket—trying to busy himself, and not stare. Alternating between flexing his fingers and peering around as he waits to hear your door open.

When it does sound, it’s like music to his ear. A soft whistle flows with it, a smile catching his eyes when he allows himself to glance over and look.

Joel swears the light of the world lives in your smile. It must do to penetrate the layers he wears, the walls he’s thrown up and the roughness he carries. Not that he’s ever about to admit it. Not that or that whatever had been churned up inside of him, smooths out. A semblance of calm slid itself over him, gently weaving its fingers under knots and taut muscles, relaxing him, inch by inch.

Although, a part of him is tempted to spill all his secrets to you when you skip down the steps, looking as over the moon to see him, as he is to see you.

“You ready for Patrol 101, Miller?”

He isn’t sure he is. His knees had groaned in protest this morning, then there had been an ache in his ribs when he stretched too far, and he was sure if he attempted to run his hip would give out.

Joel swallows all of it and doesn't share it. Doesn't want to highlight any more than the lines on his face and the callouses on his fingers what the years have done to him.

Because getting out was something he’d been craving.

A hunger in him that hasn't been stemmed with tasks and fix-me-ups. It’s why he had almost choked on his drink when Tommy told him the news. Practically watched his brother smirk in the same way he had when he was younger—like he’d gotten something on his older brother. Bee'll take you around a few times; show you the routes. Then you'll be paired with someone else.

While he hadn’t wanted to push, dismay swirled within him. It sloshed against the sides of the happiness he’d been handed, diluting it, and making it murky.

How come I can’t stay partnered wit’ her?

Can’t have the best two together—we’ll lose others quicker than we already are.

He said nothing. People had been getting braver for weeks, growing more desperate.

A thing which Joel had seen firsthand when he’d been outside of the walls of Jackson, long before he could ever say he was a resident. But, something had shifted more so since then. A deviousness not etched into those with more energy, more poison in their teeth and more gut in their stomachs.

“Don’t worry, I’ll look after you,” you tease.

Snorting, he holds your gaze. Allows himself to see his reflections in the way they glimmer, staring at him with a mixture of things—ones he wishes he could translate and understand. Your tongue tracing your bottom lip, something trying to write across your face, but never being spelt out.

That is until you clear your throat. Erasing it all, wiping the markings from your face—the begins of sketched-out confessions he would have tried to ascertain.

“Come on, need to get ourselves equipped.”

He follows, as he does for the next hour.

On the second time out, he’d grown used to your mannerisms.

How you went from nothing but sunshine to a thing someone would fear meeting in the dark.

That you begin by his side, but eventually fluctuate between being a little in front or just behind. Your voice ranges in pitch, sometimes whispering, sometimes at normal volume. All little quirks he supposed you’d picked up from surviving.

The main thing Joel learns is that he doesn’t hate listening to you—not like he does many others. Even when you elbow him, pulling a slight smirk from him.

What he hadn’t banked on was the way he felt when your eyes dropped to his lips temporarily, almost fleetingly.

Good job I’m a talker, isn’t it Miller?

While you are, he’s also now able to spot that shift in you on the third run—the one he saw before when you were littered with ruby droplets. He can predict when it descends, when it shifts in your eyes, something sharper, more razor when you’re on this side of the fence.

The playful light that adorns your face is gone, traded for something harsher, more weathered. He thinks it would be rude to say your age, but you appear hardened, like the things you’ve faced begin writing themselves across your face all over again.

Joel notes it’s worse when you pause at an abandoned cabin, your voice tight, almost forced as it leaves your mouth. Your eyes burn into the door and the chipped windows. He doesn’t interrupt, makes no sudden movements, just allows you to list the things there, the amenities, the hidden knife in the floorboard and half a box of bullets behind a brick in the fireplace.

He's not paying attention to that though, but rather you.

You who looks like you could shatter if he knocked into you, crumble into something that would willingly slip between snowflakes and bury yourself into the soil.

He's learned grief can be worn in a number of ways. Ellie's there, carried around her neck like a necklace, it lingering in unsaid words.

The most painful parts of his own are buried in a chamber, wrapped in iron, only released in the moments where he's alone, where there's nothing but darkness and quiet, allowing him to replay all he can recall like a home movie, paying attention to the way those three letters sound and the childish laughter rings out.

Another part comes back to him at the sound of running water, of circular rocks. He thinks of that sly smirk and that cunning brain when he rolls over mid-sleep to remember he still leaves a space.

Then, there's the way you carry it. A mystery, slices of it living in the things you surround yourself and you come into contact with, like a bunch of ghosts which haunt and linger.

"I know it’s not a lot, but it’s better than leading them back."

"Yeah," he adds.

Because other words don't come to him with ease.

You don’t fill the silence for a while after the cabin is barely in sight, just the world absently humming along, as though it doesn’t notice the tension and the way your shoulders are by your ears.

“So, why baking?”

It’s the first question he asks—the only one since the two of you left the safety of Jackson. If you’re surprised at his shift to engage, you do not comment, instead pointing in the direction the two of you are taking.

“Well, I did do candles for a while too, but…”

Moving a branch out of the way, you nod as you move under it, likely following a path you only know in your head.

And it lingers, the bit after the but. Waiting, hearing the breeze blow gently through bare trees and the snow wince under your boots.

“So, how’d you like patrol, Miller?”

Smiling, he grips the gun a little tighter at his waist. “S’alright. Y’a good tour guide.”

Laughing, you stop, waiting for him, jutting your head in the direction of the path, but he doesn’t move, and neither do you.

And it happens, brief and quick. Gone far too soon before he can point it out—that brief look you give him, dropping from his eyes to his mouth. Curiosity there, brewing, bubbling before you vanish it when you return to hold his gaze.

“If Tommy tells me you rated me less than five stars, I’ll be coming for you.”

“Will y’now?”

Narrowing your eyes, the world silent of snow crunching under boots. “Yeah. I know where you live, too.”

He doesn’t see you for several days after the third patrol—and in that time, he's paired with someone younger, a man who appeared more nervous about holding a gun than he did being outside the walls.

“The two of you will be going out in a week,” Maria had said, no room for complaint or argument.

A stern expression that hardens as though freezing in the cold temperatures.

So, Joel said nothing.

But he did think of you.

He dreamt of you, too. Them having shifted when he slept. Swirling, hearing the distinct whispers of Miller, flashes of your gaze just as he wakes up—leaving him gasping, hand on his stomach, desperate to alleviate pressure, but not the kind which had been in his chest.

By the fifth day, he still hadn't asked about you, but fuck did he want to. Almost went round, and hammered his fist into your door. Getting as far as his own porch before he talked himself out of it.

But, now Ellie had begun to mumble. Her sharing her worries, her concerns, fingers playing with the other as she sat at the table, breakfast untouched, sadness beginning to embed itself in the cheer that Jackson had slowly brought her.

"She might be already down at the pen."

Moving the spoon, Ellie shrugs. "She isn't. Her light is on."

By the time he’s decided to check in himself, Joel finds Ellie at the foot of your porch, hands on her hips—beckoning you to come out. Doing so at the top of her voice, all sing-song, making a dance and churning the snow into ice as you stand and watch.

Whatever your reply is, is buried under your breath, doing so begrudgingly, practically dragging your feet like you were the same age as her.

“You have anything to do with this, Miller?”

“Nope. I’d have dragged y’out if it were up to me.”

You’d poked his chest, smirking—a glint that flickered and then vanished inside the dark-sadness that swirled in your eyes. “You can drag me anywhere, Miller, just so you know.”

Somehow, the simple act of getting you out led you to teaching Ellie more about the animals, showing her how to brush one of the horses, and how to feed the chickens. Before he knew it, he was lingering behind, watching the two of you talk to other townsfolk, before somehow ending up in the Tipsy Bison.

It was then Ellie decided to leave you both—a look on her face that screamed menace and don’t fuck this up old man, all at once.

And he had tried. Kept things light, breezy. Ordered you a drink, listened, and even overthought questions before he asked them.

Your eyes flicked to a table across the room when you motioned to answer, it all loud, full of laughter. The pitch of them has been growing louder for the last half an hour, likely doing so as more time goes on and as more alcohol fills their stomachs and sloshes with the morals.

It seemed to make your spine tense, your jaw tighten. All newbies, from what Tommy had said when he’d served you—seem good, honest.

Joel didn’t get that vibe, and from the look on your face, neither did you.

Clearing his throat, he nudges your glass with his. “Y'been good?”

Chewing your reply, you lean on the bar—eyes staring at him. That same look.

The one which he sees in his dreams. The one he saw embers of on those walks.

Before it drops, finds a place near where his fingers rest, watching a smile crack into your stern expression, fluttering something else out in its place.

“Better now.”

“Yeah?”

Rolling your lips, you lean closer, the scent of your soap and shampoo flooding his nostrils. “Yeah, Miller. You make me—“

But your words are stolen, robbed.

Taken.

The action does so before the sound of a crack echoes, all heavy, loud—it punches itself into the calming air, turning it violent and angry.

It ricochetes.

And Joel is embarrassed it takes him far too long to piece together when he sees you jolt beside him. Only realising when Tommy yells and he sees the evidence of it cut across your face, the shock that bled into a deep frown—words dying mid-conversation before your head whipped around and you stare at someone passing.

Pushing up from the bar, slamming your glass down—it splashing itself against the wooden counter. “Did you just spank my ass?” you spit, cutting over the man’s laughter—directing it at him as he walked back to his table.

“Just thought you were good enough to eat, sweetheart.”

Even if the smile on your face is nothing but sweet, Joel sees the shift. The forced nature of it. The way it doesn’t glaze across your skin. But is planted there. Not quite reaching your eyes, not quite blazing over the simmering that’s there.

Because they’re aflame. Murderous. Slightly pinched at the edges as you slowly tilt your head, placing your bottle down.

The music continues to play, mindless chatter layers on top of it, but he can just hear your boots walking away from him. One step, two steps, three.

Your body inching closer to the man, the one with his thumb in his belt, leaning—like his comment had substance.

“That what you want, handsome? You want me?”

Joel’s throat dries, fucking tightens. And he just watches on, even as his fist grips tighter around the glass. Hating the drawl from your lips, despising it, in fact—even if he knows it's a pretence. Fake.

It’s a thing he knows from those patrols, has learnt all the inflictions of your voice—can read when you’re holding back and when you’re giving him nothing but honesty. He can tell when your words are silky, smooth—the same way he knows you’re acting now.

The man snorts. The scar on his cheek all pink, clearly healing, sliding up with his snarl. But, it's the way his eyes bore into you like a man starved, that makes him almost rise up from the stool.

The way the man licks his lips and looks you up and down. “I’d show you a good time, that’s all I’ll say.”

He can feel his blood boiling, hand so clenched he’s sure the bones will snap under flexed muscle and taught skin. But, he doesn’t move, doesn’t shift—even if all he wants to do is go over.

Because you don't need him. Reminding him very much of circular stones and stubbornness. Reminding him of someone who handled themselves just as well, someone not worth crossing either—him there, only ever in case. That case rarely ever fucking needed.

He snorts to himself because it's only now he considers the fact that if the world had been different, he suspects the two of you would be friends.

Especially from the way you had moved closer to the table. Your hips doing their thing, fingers stroking at your palm as he motions to stand.

“Better than most around here, including your present company.”

You stop. Halt.

Head tilting ever so slightly—even from his position behind, Joel knows your face has switched again. Morphed. The air growing tenser, colder—practically bone-chilling.

And he swears the music quiets.

It happens quickly. A screech of a chair leg, the shattering of a glass, and the thud of a man twice your size landing on his back. Your body slowly crouches over him as the others at the table stand up. But, he's just focused on you.

How your jeans bend in a low V at the back as you hover over the man—shirt rising, skin showing.

All the other noises have stopped, and Joel can feel his brother’s eyes on him. Feel his pulse in his throat, in his ears, hammering and fucking hammering—

“This what you want? To have someone warm, sweet and gentle on top of your bones?”

You ask it in a way where there’s room for a response. The man’s eyes are wide, staring up at you like you’re the devil rather than an angel. Your tone carrying, fluttering to his ears—but your shoulders are squared.

“Lemme let you in on a secret. I’m not warm, m’not sweet—and touch my ass again, and you’ll find out that I’m not that fucking gentle either.”

Your words ring in the second after. Just the same as the thud of you throwing the man back to the floor. The words crawl across the walls, unwilling to be smothered by music. His drink suddenly tainted, ruined, no longer tasting of anything but annoyance, anger and sadness, watching you grab your jacket and leave.

Joel just rolls his jaw, over and over again. Glare burning a hole in the floor, opening it up, feeling red mist rise out of it as he tried to calm the pulse in his neck, the one hammering in his skull.

Y’going after her, or should I?

Tommy asked it in a way where he knew the answer, likely having bid his time to speak it. Let minutes rack up, and become a bigger number than they should have reached. He wore that same cocky expression Joel recognised from a world that didn’t feel like this one. It reminded him of kitchen mornings and car rides and mornings arguing with others about the prices of supplies.

It’s why he doesn’t answer, just grabs his coat, throwing a glare before he goes after you.

Joel pauses to visit the horses and lingers there to calm the anger in his bones and the fury in his muscles.

When he begins to trudge to your house alone, he pays attention to the way his boots crunch in the many prints left behind by others. His eyes trying to spot yours, discern them from the many others.

It only gets easier when the path forks off to where you both live. The prints grow fewer, able to spot the different pairs—the ones he knows to be Ellie’s, the ones he can recognise are his own, and then yours.

You with your little markings to your steps, the fresh snow leaving a breadcrumb trail he doesn’t need, but appreciates all the same. Because your house is flooded in darkness, bathed in the night—but the footprints told him you’d made it home.

Even in your anger.

He knocks once before he tries the door. Internally shaking his head at you leaving it unlocked, twisting it into place when he’s on the other side. Boots joining yours, bits of the outside crumbling from leather to meet the melting pools you’ve left yourself.

“Kitchen, Miller.”

Smirking, he shoves his coat from his shoulders, a little golden pool of light on your wooden flooring from the kitchen that lights his way. Leads him. Pulls him along with a transparent finger which hooks into the collar of his shirt and practically drags him, until he finds you where he suspected—behind a counter, flour dust everywhere, and staring waiting for him.

“Hey there pretty thing.”

Snorting, he bites back that you’re prettier. Swallows it. Until it rears its head up his throat, and sprouts in his brain, making him think back to your comment. Then, all he wants to do is make a comment about cashing in on it.

Truthfully, he hasn’t been able to stop himself from wondering if you sound as pretty as his perfectly tuned guitar.

As he turns it over, he realises—even if he was suave—it won’t sound as good. It all balling and rolling in a lump on his tongue.

“I’m sorry about tonight.”

“You have nothing to apologise for, y’hear me?”

Rolling your eyes, you tilt your chin to your chest. “Still. Should control my… annoyance better.”

Shaking his head, he folds his arms. "Think you controlled it just fine. Though, y'could've punched him."

Grinning, you look down at the bowl pointedly. "And how am I meant to buy my way into your heart if I can't bake you things?"

And it's there again, that thrum, that little twinge in him that you have awoken. A thing that made him think, not just feel. His thumb and finger play with the fabric of his sleeve, feeling his eye narrow as he watches you—considering, ticking.

“Can hear you thinking over here? Need some oil for the cogs up there?”

“Enough.”

Smiling, you lick your lips, tapping your fingers against the side of the bowl. “I’m used to it, Miller. The comments—the looks. Had it… well, far too long.”

Biting the inside of his jaw, he does so a bit too hard. Almost making himself wince, thumb digging into his arm, feeling it, halting him from exclaiming. “Shouldn’t have t’be used to it.”

“Yeah, well...”

You let the words fall out, before sighing. Resting your palms on the side of your bowl, you give him that look again. The one he thinks he understands and can read—even if it looks different. It doesn’t whisper in the same way as it did on Tess, on others.

On you, it looks like a challenge, a difficult thing he wants to overcome, solve.

Clearing your throat, you smile. Softer, kinder. "Least I'm your honey, right?"

Moving from his place, he moves closer to the counter. Something familiar coming back to him—something covered in cobwebs and dust. Once hidden under moth-eaten sheets, not thrown to the side as he comes to stop a considerable gap away—enough for you to blink, to tell him you’re tired and say goodnight to him in that playful tone.

None of it comes.

Lifting his chin, he finds you slowly smirking, eyes fixed on him, watching, waiting.

Clearing his throat, he rolls his jaw from side to side. “What’d y’like me to call you?”

Your hands flex, flour still clinging to your palms, your hands. “Tonight?”

Nodding, he watches you swallow.

Lets your eyes trace a pattern over his face, for a moment forgetting—allowing himself a moment of pretence. That this is normal, all of it.

“Yours. I want you to call me yours for tonight.”

Suddenly, his fingers are on you, palms grasping. It’s less a kiss, and more a need for your mouth—an act of dominance, a purposeful kiss to keep your tongue busy so it doesn’t take it back. More teeth than anything else.

Because it’s bold—yet so simple.

A thing which frightens him and makes him want to devour you whole, just as he’s inhaling, smelling sugar, sweet and all things fucking nice as you moan into his mouth—and fuck do you make him want. You, this thing that is all good on the outside and marred on the inside.

It's why he softens his mouth on yours, breathes you in a little gentler, hovering his mouth over yours, waiting, permission needing to be given, signed, delivered—

“Keep kissin’ me, Miller.”

Groaning, he does. Tasting something that is all things good, yet as he slides his hand around your apron and into your shorts, you’re nothing but bad.

He just feels skin, no fabric—your slick greeting his touch, how wet you are, all desperate to be known.

“Barely even touched you,” he groans, finger-coating himself in it. In you.

“Maybe you’re not the first visitor I’ve had in the last hour.”

Your hands are caked in flour still as he spins you, pressing you down. Cheek on the cool counter as the bowl tumbles and descends to the floor. Your hands, clutch, leverage themselves, hips all hinged.

“Y’mean it?”

“What?”

“Y’wanna be mine.”

“I mean whatever you want me to mean, Miller.”

Your tight as he slides another finger in, tightening around him, slick to the place his fingers meet his hand, your whimpers blowing flour dust around.

The more he touches you, the more he decides he has to have you. Something carnal, primal. Each whimper and moan grasped for like he was collecting them, storing them in his dark depths, hoping they’d glow and spark light.

Then, it cuts through it all, and your hand—smothering his jeans in uncooked batter—grasping at his thigh, squeezing.

Want you, Miller. Please.

Even as he retracts his hand, he wants to apologise. Turning you to face him, watching your eyes—all lust blown and pretty—drink him in, likely seeing his hesitance, his apologies.

Swallowing as you hook a finger in your shorts, letting them pool at your ankles, “It’s been a while for me, too.”

His mouth slants over yours, tongue diving past the back of your teeth. Clothes sliding free, skin exposed to the air of your kitchen—the evidence of your earlier baking leaving evidence in places he’ll find hard to explain.

Not that he cares. He wants to be costed in flour prints he’ll admire when he has to return home. Wants them to linger, be hard to rid—just like you.

“I’m no one else’s,” you whisper, teeth grazing his cheek.

But it’s the words that are left hanging he hears louder: not anymore.

A feeling he understands—relates to. His hands move, positioning you up onto the counter where you bake and make, and now fuck. He hears the bowl fall, the earlier mixture spreading out in a mess as he lines himself up, looking in your eyes one last time as you nod.

Then, he slides in, all enveloped by you. Walls wrapping around him, inviting him in—desperate, needy, as little moans kiss against his ear as he stills, thumbs drawing soft circles on your hips to make you relax.

It's slow, and cautious. Rocking into you. Letting your mouth find his, attempting to drown out all other things as your legs wrap around his waist.

"Your back."

"Don't care," he grunts, buries it in your mouth, layers it onto your tongue.

And he doesn't; he just needs.

All hungry, more than he thought he could be for a person he knows no history of. But as he loses himself in you, he feels his hand metaphorically let go of the dread he wakes with each day. Each moan of his name from your pretty fucking lips makes him feel like he belongs, not for someone, but for himself.

Feeling your pulse beat against his wrist as his hand slides around to hold the back of your neck, tongue tasting the sweetness collected on your neck, as you moan his name.

And he can already hear what Jackson will say if they find out, the looks he’ll get—because how dare he poison the sweet woman who tends to bees and bakes cakes. But he dares. Fuck he’d dare over and over again if this is what heaven feels like—if this is sinning, he’ll forever confess his wrongdoings.

Because you fit, perfectly taking him, your fluttering hole taking him deeper and deeper, welcoming him, nails cutting into him, marking him, maiming him in a way that makes so much sense for the people they are.

Grunting your name, your eyes open—fire there, present in swirling ruin, ready to pull him, unaware of how willing he is as he spears himself inside of you. Unforgiving, sharp—aiming to bruise and leave you wanting all at once. You’re panting, whining his name. Your head tilted back, chin in his fingers as he fucks into you.

Where he asks, and you smile—wicked and true—inside, inside me, Joel. And he can feel it, how close you are—all tight, desperate and unwilling to beg. But it’s there in the way you’re struggling to swallow and how his name keeps threatening to spill like the hook of a song.

“It’s okay, let go—fuck—let go for me.”

He sees the cogs turn, feels your body react, contort and wash over with pleasure, as he is sure he hears it, the distinct whisper of for you as you cry out, soaking him, coating his cock, fluttering and fluttering until you pull his mouth to yours. Tongue swiping across his bottom lip, tasting the sound of your name as his rhythm stutters, and stutters until his own release costs your insides, stains you, writes that he is yours all over you.

For minutes, it's just breaths, and the scent of you. Face sowed in your neck, your pulse knocking on his cheek, alive, living, all his.

"Miller..."

Swallowing, he steps back, boots standing in the contents spreading around him, deepening itself into the grout of your tiles as he pulls himself out, your hiss minimal, smothered and buried. His hand is outstretched, and he feels your palm slide against his as he helps you down to the mess the two of you made on the floor.

If you mind, you say nothing.

When he zips his fly up, you scramble back to redress. Silence, prickling tension building until he clears his throat, and you look at him with that same innocent look he first saw on your porch.

And he smiles. More so when you drag him by his cheek to your lips, having another second, another moment before reality rains down.

"I should... clean up," you laugh.

Nodding, he takes the cue. “You’ll… you’ll have to let me know when you’re next baking.”

You grin, then smirk, too—not saying anything. Staring at the ruin on the floor. “I’m sure I’ll need to borrow some ingredients.”

He wonders if that’s your twos thing.

And, he learns in four days that it is.

You step up onto his porch, Ellie having long gone out with friends—his fingers pausing in their strumming of the guitar.

“Ran out of hot water.”

“If y’want me to fix it, neighbour, I’m no plumber.”

“No. Just thought I could use yours—but, if you’re worried about consumption, we could do it together. Shower, I mean.”

He’s sure your eyes are sparkling; practically stars in a dark sky, twinkling, inviting.

His hand places the guitar down, leaning it, knees aching as he stands, your smile growing, turning more wicked as he nods at you to the door.

CHAPTER FOUR ->

[overleftdown]

farleigh start thoughts

this is going to be a very random, very eclectic post. i just wanted to share some stuff that i can't figure out how to post independently. some headcanons, some commentary, some references... who knows. probably just a lot of yabbering.

"keep the rain" by searows. dude. just listen to the lyrics, i swear.

i was wondering about what the cattons really give farleigh. there's kind of... endless possibilities. his family in america is emotionally neglectful, but how do the cattons differ? i can imagine that having felix and venetia, two people of similar ages that he can glue himself to, is important to him. i also think that frederica start is an overlooked aspect of farleigh's character. e.i. he needs to have some semblance of closeness with the cattons if he has a chance at convincing them to financially support his mom. i think his ultimate mistake when confronting felix was perhaps centering himself, when the conversation was originally about frederica. although farleigh needed to finally say what he knew all along; he's different, and he's being treated differently because of it. i digress; farleigh wants companionship, a loud and distracting lifestyle, the security that only wealth can give you, and the possibility of helping his mom. that's how i sum it up, at least.

although farleigh is prone to escapism (into his wealth, into drugs, into his social life, into the games he plays), he doesn't seem as committed to cognitive dissociation as the rest of the cattons. i don't think farleigh is deluded by the wealth and power he has access to; i actually think it's the opposite. he is so hyper-vigilant of what he can lose that he's entirely aware that he doesn't know how to exist without wealth. the rest of the cattons have convinced themselves that wealth isn't an inherent part of them (elspeth with her odd anecdotes that imply she's a worldly woman, felix with his down-to-earth "i'm beyond classism" attitude, venetia with her general boredom of wealth and everything attached to wealth). farleigh never has that attitude. he knows exactly who he is with wealth, and he's terrified of what he will face without wealth. how would he cope with his sometimes-debilitating otherness? how would he have any power, any control, if not wealth and status? (this is a warped perception of reality, but i believe that's the perspective that comes with omnipresent wealth since you were born).

i think that farleigh would smother his room in pictures. i mean all kinds of media. films he likes, artists he likes (beyonce, justin timberlake, gwen stefani, aaliyah, madonna), pictures of new york, polaroids, photo booth strips, favorite travel locations (greece, italy, LA, germany, whatever), chad from hsm because that's his hair inspo, vogue magazine clippings- jesus, dare i say... postcards? i'm picturing anything and everything. but let's say that farleigh is a very private person. i mean, he's a professional hider, secret keeper, "inside thoughts" kind of person. i'm imagining anything just slightly too personal would be kept in a box. maybe that same box he keeps his cocaine! family pictures, baby pictures, personal photography (would it be bold to imagine farleigh as a notorious street photographer?), old knick knacks like his first friendship bracelets or seashells he found on the beach. i'm getting carried away. farleigh seems like the type to consume, linger, consider. i feel like anyone who wears gucci loafers also has an immense amount of sentimental material.

farleigh doesn't like english food that much.

farleigh is clearly able to apply himself in an academic setting, if the tutoring session is anything to go by. he takes a gamble on whether spending time with people is more beneficial than actually doing his work, and maybe he's just a little bit bored by school. but at the same time, he listened to oliver's entire essay and counted each individual time that oliver said "thus." where the tutor wasn't even listening, farleigh made the choice to specifically comment on oliver's rhetorical content because he understands how to apply yourself academically, even if you've yet to get around to the actual assignment. so.

i think farleigh likes to read. clearly felix, vee, and farleigh all made an agreement to read harry potter together. but i'm also imagining farleigh as a sort of classic literature, historical drama, and romance type of reader. i just think he'd get a kick out of it. i imagine his myspace page genuinely contained moments where he shared book plot like it was school drama.

based on archie's information about how he was asked to audition for farleigh, i think that farleigh speaks to his mom less often and very casually. in a few of archie's interviews, he said he was asked to mimic a phone call with the character's mom while he talked about guys he slept with recently. i think farleigh learned to avoid attempting any substantial conversation with frederica from a fairly young age (also from what archie has said about farleigh's dynamic with his mom). there's a level of both maturity and immaturity to farleigh's relationship with frederica. frederica clings to youth and avoids traditional aspects of motherhood. farleigh had to meet her in this odd middle ground, speaking to her like a friend that's similar in age to him. i can imagine that very few people have had any genuine, serious, emotional conversations with farleigh. like archie has said, farleigh and felix's heated confrontation has never happened before. farleigh doesn't say shit about what he's feeling or thinking.

farleigh and the cattons is so GAH. familial but transactional, familial but not quite. the cattons resolutely ignore the massive elephant in the room that is their inability to let go of how they view farleigh. "dad felt so guilty that he agreed to pay for all of farleigh's education," which also implies that farleigh is only living with the cattons because james has roped himself into this odd situation where farleigh is being shipped to england for school. now that he kinda has to stay with them based on that one agreement, it would also be weird if the cattons didn't treat farleigh the same as felix and venetia. i'm getting carried away. supporting a family member isn't supposed to be on the basis of guilt or pity. there is supposed to be... love? like, c'mon. this makes farleigh's relationship with his cousins odd. venetia believes farleigh is spoiled ("talk about biting the hand"), felix agrees that farleigh is there for entertainment. both comments didn't sit very well with me. the normal family dynamic is shrouded in this strange obligatory and transactional attitude. odd. odd odd odd.

YOUR BEST AMERICAN GIRL BY MITSKI

nothing, just farleigh's relationship with sex and how abysmally unhealthy it is, actually. and also the fact that oliver coerced him sexually GAH. i see this character and he makes me insane to be so honest.

he had to mourn both his cousins ALONE??

i hope farleigh eventually does something incredibly sinister and conniving and mean to oliver.

okay i'm done. hope you enjoyed... all of that.

[labarboteuse]

Plus one part two

Jake "Hangman" Seresin x f!reader

Summary: It's time for them to get their story straight to be credible with the other guests and this is the opportunity for Jake to learn something particular about his neighbor.. Part one Part three

Warnings: mention of smut? swearings

There comes a part two. I wasn't thinking of it when I wrote the first one but someone ask if there will be the sequel of what would happen during the wedding. Well, this isn't this part yet, I wanted to write it now but it would have been waaayyy too long , so the "during the party" part will be the next one ! It's not as funny as I wanted to but didn't managed to achieve like what I wanted. Hope it will be good enough though.

When the day came, Jake crossed the street to ring the doorbell of his neighbor's house and accompany her to her friend's wedding. He knocked twice on the door before stepping aside, readjusting his bow tie and glancing at his reflection in the window, running a hand through his hair. The sound of the doorknob was heard and he made a small jump to come to replace himself in front of the door. It opened on the young woman and Jake gasped. It was nothing like the pajamas and bunny slippers he'd seen her wearing when she picked up her mail. She was wearing a pale gray dress, which brightened her up and matched the color of his suit perfectly. The dress reached her calves, the top of the dress in fine lace up to the small sleeves and revealing her back and a flared satin skirt. Her hair was tied up in a loose, low bun in which were some flowers and thin strands of hair framing her face. He was dazzled so well that he didn't even find something to laugh at her.

She didn't even notice his dazed look, grabbed her small purse and a light cardigan before walking out and closing the door.

"Right on time."

For her it was only a chore, she had to go to her friend's wedding, and she was glad he was getting married. But the evening for her wouldn't be the same as his and it wouldn't necessarily be a party of pleasure. Still, she hoped Jake's presence would help.

"Very elegant Seresin." She finally said with a smile, pulling Jake out of his thoughts.

"Nothing compared to you. You look stunning." She turned her head so he wouldn't see her blush which made him smile in return and he walked down the few steps of the stoop before offering her his hand, which she took to walk down the steps in turn.

"What gallantry." She joked.

"I must be at the height of the woman I accompany.” This time she had no time to turn her face away and he saw her cheeks take on several shades of red before opening the door for her. "If you'd mind."

She addressed him a smile and took place inside the SUV, waited that he climbs in his turn and started to launch out in a briefing.

"Alright, so you're going to meet several different types of people today. It is the wedding of one of my childhood friends who will probably be the first one surprised to see me arriving with someone. But as far as he's concerned, any hints or reflections that will be made will be in all irony and kindness. The grannies and aunties will be the most nosy, and we won't have the right to make a mistake, otherwise it'll be all over the crowd in no time, and since I'm likely to run into these people again at other weddings, all my friends having decided to get married in the same year, it has to be impeccable, they have to believe it."

Jake looked away from the road for a moment to look at her.

"I'll just go with you to the next ones if it makes it more believable."

This proposal made her silent for a few moments, she hadn't expected it, for her it was only once, because he kind of had imposed himself a little.

"Don't burn the steps Seresin, we will already see what it gives." He smiled and returned his attention to the road. " Very well, get our story straight. Where did we meet?"

"A cooking class." This provoked a chuckle from the young woman. "I'm serious. A cooking class for singles, just to meet people." He smiled as he looked down the road, after all it was just another type of meeting.

"Or just tell the truth, we're neighbors, these things happen between neighbors." He arched an eyebrow and turned his head toward her a seductive smile on his face. "Don't dream, it's all a bunch of bull." "For now", he told himself.

"Alright, what do I do for a living?" He looked at her as if from outer space.

"You're... a dog walker?" He ventured to say, hesitating, having no idea.

"Wait, what? Why would you think that?" She asked in surprise.

"I don't know, I panicked! I have no idea what you're doing." He confessed completely lost and she burst out laughing.

"I am in the police Jake." She said between laughs.

"Wait what?" It was his turn to be surprised, pleasantly surprised. For a moment he imagined her in her uniform, way too tight, arresting bad guys with crazy class, and once she got home in the evening turning into a bad cop with handcuffs in her hand ready for him to -.

From her seat she watched his expression change to a perverse grin and a slight nod as if he was talking to himself imagining his salacious fantasies, her expression turning to one of dismay. He was brought back to reality by a snap of her fingers in front of his eyes followed by a "Whatever it is put it out of your mind and put it in a box to be thrown in the ocean." He chuckled and shook his head, far too proud.

"Oh believe me, I won't."

The drive took almost another hour and it wouldn't have been enough to get through this discussion.

"Make an effort Jake, how many siblings do I have?"

"Two." She gave him a poke in the ribs that made him wince.

"None! I've told you three times already!"

"Don't yell at me! You've told me so many things it's impossible to remember everything!  You're criticizing me, but are you going to do any better? I'm listening, what branch of the military am I a pilot in?"

She thought for a second no better than he did, hesitantly answering "The Air Force?"

"THE NAVY!"

"But what an idea too, what good are pilots in the Navy?!"

She turned her head to look out her window, letting out a sigh. "We're screwed."

"We'll have no credibility." Jake grumbled as he parked, arrived at his destination and kept his hands on the steering wheel turning his head toward her. She glanced at him before getting out of the car, not sure if this was still a good idea. He went around the car and came to stand next to her to give her his arm, she put hers in and looked up at him.

"Let's do our best."

The two of them managed to slide to their seats avoiding any contact with other guests. When someone called out to her from a distance, she signaled that they would talk later. The ceremony went on and then all the guests went to the large garden of the villa that the bride and groom had rented and that had been decorated for the occasion.

Jake grabbed two glasses of champagne from a tray that was passed in front of them and handed one to Y/N who took it and they toasted. Over her glass as she took a sip, she saw the first investigator walking in their direction, waving to which she responded with a forced smile.

"Ready to become the center of attention Seresin?"

[the7continentplan]

Solo female travel. It really does feel like one of the last remaining taboos. Tell anyone who isn't one of us that you're traveling alone, and you could swear you said that you're really into intravenous drugs. I have an upcoming trip to a Caribbean island that will be my first true solo adventure- no tour group, no family, no friends. With that on my horizon, I've decided to talk about my experience with some common SFT myths- list of myths mostly lifted from this article.

Traveling, especially as a solo woman is soooooo dangerous.

For me, this one is dependent on your day-to-day existence. I grew up in a rough city, went to school in a rough city, and I live now in the rust belt. There are certainly places that are more dangerous than the places I've lived in, but let's not kid ourselves and act like America is an easy place for women. If you've lived in suburban Connecticut and going to private school your entire life, while also wrapped in bubble wrap and wearing horse blinders, your milage might vary. Other than that, if you follow the same safety rules you would at home- don't get falling down drunk without back-up, don't get arrested, know where the fuck you're going if you're going to walk around at night. And for the love of all that is good, if you decide to go to a country where women are expected to be more covered up, cover up a little. This goes triple or quadruple if you've decided to go to a religious monument. You're not a feminist for disrespecting someone's religious customs. It won't kill you, and it'll save you from unwanted attention and sunburn alike. If you're really that put off by a country's expectations of women, maybe don't go and give them your money. All in all, it's all about doing your research.

2. Eating by yourself is boring/awful/scary

I have found, far and away, that the US is the worst place to eat alone of the places I've been. I went to breakfast in Chicago once, went to the bathroom for less than 5 minutes, and when I returned my place had been cleared, my coat turned into the lost and found, and another customer seated at my table. In Spain? Was never once a problem. I have become an enormous fan of eating alone. My favorite eating alone experience recently was actually on an AirFrance flight from Paris. Me and an elderly, stereotypically Parisian were sitting in the row directly behind premium economy and had had the supreme good luck of having an empty middle seat between us. Airplane food is not typically a fan favorite, but AirFrance does pretty well. Camembert, beautiful little sandwiches, genuinely good wine out of tiny bottles, and an even smaller bottle of cognac with a Madeline to finish the meal. I made that meal last an hour. I stared out of the window at the Atlantic Ocean, savoring the experience of being in transit. Of what it felt like to come home. If you need a place to practice eating alone, try it on your next flight. You're probably not going to read that book anyway.

3. You travel solo because no one likes you

Yeah, maybe some people do this. Good for them! I support women's wrongs. Be a bitch, collect passport stamps. Work from 'home' in the South of France. I love you. But even if you aren't a bitch, adult friends are hard to plan things with. Someone's got a baby, someone's got no money, someone only wants to go to Italy, and another only wants to go to Japan. There's no shame in not wanting to wait for everything to line up perfectly to go with your friends- or even with your partner.

Uh-oh. I just heard the record scratch. I sometimes have a hard time even convincing other solo female travelers of this. Yes, I have a lovely committed SO of over a year. Yes, it would be lovely to take them along. But our budgets, schedules, and interests don't perfectly overlap. We like traveling together- we even survived a great American road trip in a microscopic car- and we in fact plan to go to Italy together sometime next fall. However, I'm a big believer in maintaining your individual personality in a relationship. I was a traveler before them, I am a traveler now, and I would still be a traveler if we ever parted ways. Me traveling alone doesn't mean anything about my relationship, except that one of us has more PTO than the other.

The comradery I share with fellow STFs- including any women who might read my words and yearn to travel even if you haven't yet- is more meaningful than I can describe, and the friends I have made in this pursuit are more meaningful than I can say. I met a girl on my first leg of a flight who was also going to be traveling solo. We parted after that first flight for different continents, but we meet up for drinks once a month or so. I've met dozens of women that I have mad fleeting, but important, friendships with that I've met in tour groups. Do they hear my work drama? No, we don't know each other. But they like my Instagram posts, and I text them whenever I have a question about somewhere they're been. One girl and I had a riveting and deeply philosophical conversation while I was on my lunch break from the night shift, and she was stuck in the Istanbul airport due to 4 consecutive flight cancelations. And in my upcoming trip to Australia, I will be returning back to the US mere days before a college friend will touch down in Sydney. We tried really hard to make being there at the same time work, but it just didn't. When we finally admitted we couldn't make out schedules work, we parted with the knowledge that we would still be thinking of each other as we planned an experienced.

4. If you are going with a tour group, you aren't a real solo traveler

Yeah, sure, no true Scotsman. If I got my dumb ass on the plane by myself, booked and planned and dreamed by myself, landed by myself, got a taxi to a hotel in a foreign country by myself, and then proceeded to travel with 2 dozen absolute strangers, I booked a solo trip. Solo doesn't mean alone. You can book tours, make friends in hostels, and maybe even meet up with friends for part of your trip. Any part you do without a trusted other makes it solo. Most people won't ever have that level of independence. So, if you're a solo travel purist, and for you that means no tour groups, that's fine. But let's not undercut what tour group SFTs are doing.

Also- solo with a tour group is a great step toward true solo. That's what it was for me. I started with tour groups, and now I'm venturing into 100% solo. But! For me, that's still going to included booked day tours and trying my damnedest to make friends at the hostel. And I am not going to stop going on group tours just because I've done some trips without a group now. For example, for my 2024 Thailand/Australia trip, I'll be doing the Thailand section with a group that includes one of my college friends. This will actually be the first time I travel international with someone I DO know, though I will be getting in a day early and exploring on my own. My rule of thumb going forward is to use tour companies, such as EF or G Adventures, for countries where I will need a translator. Any English or Spanish speaking countries, or countries where the majority of people will speak those languages, I won't be doing a tour for. I will be using tour groups when I want to have experiences that are difficult to plan for if you aren't local or if you didn't book way ahead- such as St. Paddy's day in Dublin or watching wildlife migrations in sub-Saharan Africa.

5. Hostels are nasty and you're gross for staying in one.

I've stayed in some really nice hostels! Again, just do your research. Hostelworld.com makes it very easy. If you're cool with sharing a bathroom you could get your accommodation for the week for the price of a hotel room for one night.

6. All of those vacations are a waste of money.

We all make different financial decisions. For me, I don't get my hair or nails done professionally, I bought a sensible car and paid off the note, and I live in an affordable city. I have a good job. I have savings set aside for retirement, emergency fund, wedding fund, and to pay for tuition for my master's program each semester, with a percentage of my income going to each of these accounts every week. Travel is the luxury I chose. As long as it's not cutting into my rent money and it makes me happy, it isn't a waste.

7. Traveling is only for rich people.

Firstly, travel doesn't need to be super expensive. My entire budget for Puerto Rico is $750. There are lots of great destinations, that you can get to by driving and you can camp there. The KOA network was great for me as I was just starting out.

International travel is a little bit of a different animal. For most Americans, Europe is likely completely out of the question. However, not being a trust fund baby doesn't necessarily mean you can't travel internationally. For me, 6.4% of my weekly income goes to travel, plus all bonus and any OT I manage to pick up. In 2022, I worked about 100 hours' worth of OT, which paid for everything in my Morrocco trip except for flights. I am on track to work about 180 hours' worth in 2023. For me and my household, this budget and the tradeoffs of me working long hours are worth it to support the travel lifestyle. Another household could be in our same situation and ultimately decide it's not worth it. Budgets are about what works for you!

8. You're not really a traveler if you haven't been to (insert city/country/attraction here).

No, I haven't seen the Louvre. Yes, I am a traveler. And vice versa for those who've only seen European capitals. Is it my cup of tea? No. But you're seeing and experiencing new things that interest you and I love that. The only people I'll really make a face about are the all-inclusive resort folks. It's your money if it's really important to you to sleep until noon in Antigua, but unless you've seen something beside the resort, you aren't a traveler.

I tend to feel like I'm not 'really' a traveler when I think about the fact that I've only actually been to 5 countries. Social media, especially if you follow a lot of travel Instagrams or have friends from traveling, can make you feel like everyone has been to at least 20 countries. It's just a basic probability problem though. If you're on a group tour, you're more likely to have people who go on 2-3 trips a year than you are people who go on one trip every 5 years. This isn't because there are so many of the first kind of people, it's because the second sort have only ever traveled with a few people.

The experiences you have traveling make you a traveler, not the tally mark of countries. Every missed layover, canceled flight, rainout of the one activity you wanted to do, and bout of motion sickness on a bus going through the mountains is turning you into the independent, bull headed, worldly person you know you can be. Yes, it's fun to talk to people who don't travel about what it was like to see La Sagrada Familia in person, but it barely even scrapes how fun it is to talk to other travelers about that time that you had a 6-hour layover in the same terminal as 75 German teenagers on their way back from New York being forced to periodically count themselves off for their teacher.

9. You're so brave for doing that, and I can't do that because I'm not as brave as you.

I'm a little baby about traveling. I get really, really scared. I am always at the airport waiting for my first plane at least 80% hoping that it will get cancelled last minute. I get to hostels and have to practice what I'm going to say to people. I'm worried they'll hate me. I panic every time I get back to my accommodation because I'm 10000% sure I've managed to lose something. I'm not any braver than you. You can do it.

10. Travel *changes* you

It won't! At least, not in the style of Eat, Pray, Love. The reality is much more subtle. I feel like I walk taller now. I have more confidence in my abilities. Is that about travel, or is it just what happens in between 19 and 22? It could be either. I certainly didn't need to go anywhere to *find myself*, and neither do you. Enjoy the pyramids. You don't need to feel enlightened after.

[technowoah]

THESEUS - a dsmp story ( DreamSMP x Queen!Reader)

CHAPTER FIVE : AND I REALIZE THREE FUNDAMENTAL TRUTHS AT THE EXACT SAME TIME.

Chapter Summary: You had gotten what you wanted, but at what cost? Nightmares ensue, and Dream’s true colors begin to show.

pairing: c!wilbur x queen!reader

an// IM BACK!! hopefully yall like this chaper cause this is the last one that I wrote in the past, Im writing chapter 6 rn so it might take a while. Also sorry for not posting requests I really wanted to get this chapter out there

⚠︎ swearing, dsmp spoliers(?), angst, arguing, smoking, explosions, gaslighting(?), not proofread.

Series Masterlist 

"Good job you two! This is all yours now.”

Dream had led you and Eret back to the castle, all of them still battered and bruised from the war they recently had. You had already taken off your armor and now you were wearing underneath your L'Manburg outfit that was torn and burnt showing some of your skin which was also burnt or cut. You had noticed on the way to the castle that Dream had kept on looking at the outfit that Eret and you had on with disgust, like a taunt.

You could finally relax in the huge castle that you apparently deserved because you and Eret had taken the first lives of the citizens of L'Manburg. In your heart you knew that L'Manburg was still a country. They all have two more lives and they will build the country up again with those two lives. You sighed then kept walking into the throne room. you looked at the two big thrones that sat next to each other. One for a king and one for a queen.

"Why are you standing there? Sit down! Relax!" Dream patted one of the thrones.

You and Eret had sat down on the thrones next to each other looking around the huge throne room and Dream smiling right in front of them. Once you both sat down you tried to sit up straight, but you wanted to slump down into the comfy, plush, velvet and gold chair. The two of them sat on velvet and gold thrones while in burnt and torn L'Manburg uniforms. It was a sight to see, and if someone didn't know the context of what just happened, this scene would've made sense to them.

"I'm happy you did this. You deserve all of this." Dream said while walking along the marble floor.

"It's beautiful, but I'm exhausted." You let your head fall to the side. You sighed wanting Dream to leave so you could finally get some rest.

"I bet."

"Eret are you okay?" You spoke up after Dream.

Eret had a look that you couldn't make out. He just stared off into space in his own mind. He shook his head after you called for him again.

"Yeah, yeah I am fine. I'm just thinking." Eret quickly responded.

"What are you thinking about?" Dream said in a monotone voice.

"If we did the right thing." Eret sighed.

You slowly nodded because you were thinking the exact same thing. They were traitors, you had built somewhat of a connection with those people you helped kill. And now what? you're living in a huge castle and apparently you "Shouldn't be feeling this way", Dream claimed.

"You two are overreacting. They are fine." Dream said bluntly while staring at them with a straight face.

That was a huge lie, their lives were taken today. They're not just “fine”.

"You two were never a part of that place anyways. This is your home! Why would you need to wear those hideous colors? They look bad on you, it's unflattering. There is no need to go back." Dream explained.

You hang your head not knowing what to say to the man, there wasn’t really anything to say but you spoke up hoping the words will come to you.

"I don't-"

"You don't have to say anything, it's okay. You're safe now. Did you get hurt?" Dream asked.

The bruises and scars said differently.

"Remember when I said that?" Dream pushed the question.

You rubbed a burn mark on your wrist and laughed a bit. "No! Actually I don't. We're safe now, but that doesn't mean we aren't hurt." You chuckled in disbelief.

"Well maybe if you listened to me you wouldn't be so anxious. If you listened you wouldn't have been so hesitant. You're safe." Dream said sternly.

"Maybe you're tired, Dream. We're all tired. Shall we go to bed?" Eret stood up and held out his hand to help you up from your seat.

You accepted his hand and started to follow Eret through the huge castle making your way through the huge, high ceiling halls. The three walked towards the king's and queen's room in the castle, Dream kept a slower pace and walked behind the two wanting to get one more word in before leaving the castle.

"If you two are ever in doubt just remember that you are on the right side of history." Dream said then turned around to leave the two alone.

You both stopped and turned around to see Dream’s back facing the both of you as he walked away. You and Eret eventually made it to your new bedrooms. There was a big door which held a huge room made for the both of them to sleep in and two separate rooms next to the bigger door which were made for one person. Eret and you stood in front of the bigger door staring at the intricate designs on the door not speaking to each other.

"So?" Eret laughed.

"So!" You exclaimed while chuckling.

"Are you okay sleeping in that huge room tonight?" Eret asked.

"I'm not totally comfortable with that, but it would be weird if we slept in the same bed. Don't get me wrong! You're a great friend, but-"

"Y/N/N stop! I'm okay with that too. I wasn't looking to sleep in the same bed. Yes we're married, but we're just staying friends, hey we might get a divorce later." Eret explained.

"If I do, we won't be king and queen anymore." You said softly to your husband.

"Is that what you want? To be "queen"?" Eret asked while putting air quotes around the word queen.

You paused for a moment then answered his question.

"I don't know where I'm supposed to be, Eret." You looked up at him sadly and he pulled you in for a hug. It took you everything you had to not cry into the L'Manburg uniform Eret was wearing. Today drained you mentally and physically, your hands were raw from shooting arrows, you had burn marks on your skin and your feet hurt from running through the kingdom. You weren’t sure about where you would go, because this didn't feel like your home.

"Let's go to bed and we'll talk in the morning. Rest on it because I'll happily divorce you so you can find your place in this huge kingdom." Eret laughed and let you out of his arms.

You chuckled and then let him go walking into what was supposed to be the queen's room and right next to it was the king's room which they both walked in after saying goodnight and closing their doors finally having time to themselves after a long day.

You finally took off the L'Manburg uniform and laid it on a velvet chair in the corner of the huge room. You stared at the uniform before going to the nearest closet and picking out something to wear for that night. The queen's room was basically the huge couple's room that you found before, but just with a smaller bed. There were still trinkets, jewelry and even clothes in the closet. you took a nightgown out of the closet and sat on the plush bed. You ended up laying down staring at the high ceiling thinking of the predicament Eret's question brought.

You finally retired for the night and crawled into bed and got under the soft covers. The window was open so a soft cool breeze was blowing through the room letting the curtains flow with the breeze. If you left you wouldn't have anywhere to go except back to L'Manburg, they would never let you back even if you tried. They probably hated your guts by now, so maybe divorcing wasn't a good idea. You had a set home here, you had food, clothes, and you weren't under attack every minute. you didn't have to watch your back for any enemies.

Your mind slowed down as you finally lulled yourself into a deep sleep forgetting the troubles in your mind for only a moment.

-------------------

The sunset fell over the horizon making it a gold, red color. It was beautiful. The trees were illuminated and the lakes had a certain glow to them. you could see mobs began to crawl out of the ground and caves, but you was safe up here.

You looked down and saw the familiar obsidian walls. It seemed like a faint memory, but in reality the walls were real. It was like you could feel the stone underneath your feet at this moment. you could see inside L'Manburg.

you saw Tubbo and Tommy laying in the grass talking to one another. you saw Fundy sleeping in the grass next to them. There were two new faces you had never seen before. It was a woman with short pink hair and another man with a shaved head. It might've been your mind putting people in your dreams to fill space. Then you saw Eret sitting by a small river letting his bare feet flow in the water. It was a peaceful scene.

"Beautiful sunset isn't it?" A voice showed up beside you.

It was Wilbur. He had his uniform on, it was clean like the war didn't even happen.

"It is really beautiful." You agreed watching the sun continue to lower over the trees.

"You know everything the sun touches is yours? It's all of ours. It just so happens that you can see the sunset and sunrise from L'Manburg. You can do anything as long as you see the sun rise and fall." Wilbur said, keeping his gaze soft at the sunset.

You hummed but stayed quiet admiring his words and the sunset.

"Let me tell you what I wish I'd known when I was young and dreamed of glory. You have no control who lives, who dies, who tells your story. After you took one of my lives away I understand now. You can't control other people and their motivations."

You hang your head in disappointment, but then Wilbur continued.

"But I know that we can win. I know that greatness lies in you, but remember from here on in that history has its eyes on you. History will forever have its eyes on you no matter what you do." Wilbur looked into your eyes as the sun set on the two of them the stars began to shine.

The light brown eyes Wilbur had turned darker because of the sunlight being gone. You looked out back at the mobs in the forest and the huge towers in the sky made the kingdoms members. you turned around and looked into L'Manburg. Or what was considered L'Manburg.

There was no one there anymore, instead of people there were huge amounts of TNT that filled the walls behind them. you could hear faint voices around them, people that you didn't know. It sounded like chaos. you whipped your head around to Wilbur who was dressed in a brown tattered trench coat, brown pants, and a white shirt instead of the L'Manburg uniform.

He had a cigarette in his mouth and matches in his hands. He smirked at you as the voices around you got louder and your head sounded like you were in the middle of a tornado. your head was buzzing as your eyes couldn't focus on Wilbur in front of you. It felt like these moments were happening right in front of your all at one time.

"You want to be a hero Tommy?"

"You know if I die, this country goes down with me."

"if respect is the only thing protecting you from a knife in the back, then respect is nothing, right?"

"Kill me, Phil. Phil, kill me, Phil kill me! Phil, stab me with the sword, murder me now, kill me! Look-"

"You know Y/N" Wilbur started next to you. He lit a match and turned around to L'Manburg which was now filled with TNT.

"Somethings. Somethings were never meant to be." He threw the match into the huge pile of TNT and all in a second the obsidian underneath your feet disappeared as you fell into the explosion beneath you.

-------------------------

"Fuck! Where am I?!" You shot up from your sleeping position in a cold sweat.

You frantically felt around the bed trying to convince yourself that you were physically at the castle in your bed. You finally caught your breath and laid back down in your bed finding yourself staring at the ceiling again. Even with the window open blowing cool air into the room, your skin still felt hot. You ended up tossing the covers off of you and making your way towards the entrance of the kingdom to get some air.

That dream was so much stuff in it you couldn't comprehend all of it. It was like Wilbur was there as if he was talking to you directly and it wasn't a dream and it made you second guess yourself and think that it may have not been a dream. You finally made it outside and sat on one of the steps that led people up into the kingdom. you sighed and breathed in the fresh air and it immediately relaxed your body and mind. You were alive, you were here and sadly Wilbur wasn't there. You closed your eyes and felt the breeze around you until you were startled by a figure beside you.

"You're up late. I thought you said you were mentally tired." Dream chuckled sitting beside you.

"I had a bad dream." You sighed.

"Hey don't take my name in vain like that" Dream laughed trying to bring up your mood.

Dream sighed and stood back up when he didn't get a response from his companion.

"Come one, let's go. Let's get your mind off of the one bad dream." Dream held his hand out, gesturing to you to take it.

You took his hand and then released it letting him lead the way to wherever the wind may take them. The dream is currently still stuck in your head. The voices from different people confused you and made your head spin.

"You want to be a hero Tommy?" What did that mean? Was someone threatening Tommy? Will someone threaten Tommy? You grew to care for that kid.

Who said "If I die, this country goes down with me"? What country. L'Manburg?

"If respect is the only thing protecting you from a knife in the back, then respect is nothing, right?" That one stumped you the most. you didn't even know if this was being spoken to you or to someone else. All of them except for the Tommy one.

Were they all even dreams? The one that haunted your mind the most was the one where someone was telling a man named Phil to kill them. Were you there for that moment? Did Phil kill the person? Who was Phil? All these thoughts and questions plagued your mind so much that your feet mindlessly carried you wherever Dream led you to.

"Here we are." Dream led You on top of a hill, a tall enough hill to see the main attraction. The place you missed the most, L'Manburg.

Tears started to form in your eyes and you tried blinking them away. All the moments of that dream appeared in your brain, but even stronger. you never felt these emotions before. Maybe L'Manburg was your home all along. you missed seeing Tubbo, Tommy, Eret and Fundy doing their own thing while your and Wilbur had a deep talk inside the van. you had spent weeks with them growing too attached to them and then ended up becoming a traitor.

"That place. You never belonged there. You're too good for them." Dream started and you stayed quiet watching the stars begin to disappear.

"Do you trust me?" Dream asked.

You stayed quiet not having the answer he wanted to hear. He wanted to hear you say that you trusted him when in reality you couldn’t, you weren't fully there yet, not anymore. 

"They lied to you. It's not your home." Dream continued on letting you listen and not talk.

"How did you know if someone said it was my home or not?" You asked, startled.

"I might've been keeping an eye on you. I wanted to make sure my flower was okay." Dream kept his gaze on L'Manburg.

"Stop calling me that." You sighed.

"I never started. This was the first time I said that. Who called you flower?" Dream suddenly got serious, staring at you.

you kept your sights on the obsidian walls, not sparing him a glance. The stars began to fade and the sun peeked over the horizon. As they stayed longer the sun rose over the walls of L'Manburg. You started to remember the words in the dream you had.

"You know everything the sun touches is yours? It's all of ours. It just so happens that you can see the sunset and sunrise from L'Manburg. You can do anything as long as you see the sun rise and fall."

L'Manburg stands for independence. Independence. That word kept ringing through your head like a mantra until a few voices below the hill and near the walls alerted you.

"HEY! Hey Wilbur! Give me back my shit!" Tommy yelled as he stomped after the older man.

"Wilbur get Tommy to stop shouting and give him his swords back please!" Fundy yelled trailing behind the two.

"No not until he learns not to go start stabbing shit!" Wilbur yelled back at the other two.

You missed that. you missed the bickering and the nonsense they all shared. you were upset that Tommy still hadn't learned his lesson and you wished you were there beside them at that moment.

Dream spoke up giving you a look you couldn’t quite get. "You are never allowed to step inside those walls again.

"What gives you the right to tell me what and what not to do? Who does that make you? Who do you think-"

"YOU ARE NEVER ALLOWED TO GO IN THOSE WALLS!" Dream yelled getting dangerously close to you.

You continued to stare at those blue eyes as the bright sun rose over the dark walls of L’Manburg. you didn't say anything but descended down the mountain alone with the sounds of Tommy, Fundy, and Wilbur bickering in the background, wishing you were there and not next to the man next to you who was staring at you angrily.

"I know what’s good for you! I know what's good for this country! Just trust me Y/N!" Dream yelled starting an argument

"Would you calm down! You came here to be all quiet and now you're yelling at me. You might want to be quiet before Wilbur hears you. Or do you want me to get him myself?" You yelled back, getting furious.

"Oh you wish! He doesn't care for you as much as me, Sapnap and George do! They agree as well!"

"Don't put words into his mouth!" You accused

"Oh! So if he cares so fucking much he would've help save you. And do you know what would happen if he saved you?! You would've died! I saved you! You were in a perfect situation and all you had to do is not complain! You're always overreacting." Dream ended with a huff and rolled his eyes while turning away..

you were speechless at this point. Overwhelming emotions consumed you. you couldn't believe you were overreacting. Maybe Wilbur wasn't everything you needed. you were overreacting, you were being selfish too. Dream was right. Dream walked over to you pulling you in a hug with L'Manburg was still in your sights.

"I did everything because I love you. You're too precious for them, you're not for them. They don't deserve you, you deserve someone who wants the best for you. A flower that needs a home and I'm here to give it to you." Dream softly explained.

Your eyes kept tearing up at the words and different emotions flowing through you. The sights on L'Manburg make your memories and questions come back. Where did you belong? But more importantly who was telling the truth?

Taglist: @hi-imuwu @k-l-a-w-s

[coldvampire]

i'm not sure if i want to develop this into a oneshot or just leave it in my head but i've been in a perculair headspace lately when am i not, truly, and I've been trying to work out how katerina's ptsd makes itself known.

first of all, i think she would deny it's actual an issue for her in spite of being able to list off symptoms she experiences like she's reading from the diagnostic criteria. part of that is the residual shame, part of it is not wanting to fully face the gravity of what happened to her. either way, a lot of denial happening there.

anyway.

'smell' seems to be a trigger i keep returning to. it's one i don't see people talk about a lot compared to other senses, but it's pretty visceral. the scenario i keep specifically ruminating over is involving a very similar cologne to the one apollonnio wore. it's actually a pretty nice scent, not even an uncommon one either, but the association is just forever tainted for her. in this unfortunate scene, it's either a cologne or maybe a shower product nines turns up wearing and it's not exactly the same, but it's close enough that she tenses up when she detects it and she knows it's someone she trusts and loves wearing it but god, she can't stop shaking, and she's jumpy and on edge and eventually she knows he's going to notice something up with her so she has to ask if he's trying out a new soap or something and can she replace it with literally anything else he wanted? i think she'd hate herself a little (a lot) for even having to make the request even though it's honestly not a big deal to him at all, he gets it, he knows what her fledgling years were like or at least enough to understand why she's so upset.

unfortunately, this just sends her over the edge, i think, just the nonchalance and general concern over her wellbeing over such a relatively small thing. she's absolutely going to start crying, and it sounds so disgustingly pathetic to her ears when her voice starts breaking & she can't even let herself cry loudly because oh god, what if her sire hears the sobs and comes to give her a real reason to cry? the self-loathing is intense; she feels like she's being stupid, and weak, and nines is probably completely over her dramatics at this point and eventually he'll surely get tired of all her strange quirks and hyper-specific needs to feel safe from a man who met final death a while ago (at her own hand no less!)

but it's okay. he swears up and down that it's okay. he's not mad, why would he be? it's just a scent. it was probably on sale, the first thing he grabbed off the shelf, he's not attached to it in the slightest. at the risk of possibly making things worse, i think he would hold her. sometimes he's good with his words, and it's all she needs, but this isn't really one of those times. katerina is not a big woman. he forgets, sometimes, that she barely comes up to his chin and probably only weighs about 120 lbs soaking wet. she's got a big personality, absolutely. a resonant voice and presence that can fill a room, when she's feeling like herself. it's a warmth he's never been able to ignore.

not for the first time, he regrets not at least having a chance to be the one that reduced apollonnio di fiorelli to dust. that man deserves nothing less than agony before death. all he can do now is channel that righteous anger into helping her pick up the pieces of herself. it's a slow process, there are setbacks, but he can't imagine not doing it. they've been through too much to let old ghosts destroy them now.

so he clears his schedule for the evening as much as he can. emergency calls only. she still feels ridiculous when he's holding her and rubbing her back like that, and it's such an odd mix of bad memories (that wretched scent) with the sturdy comfort (nines rodriguez, who she'd perhaps foolishly allowed herself to find home in) but it feels good to let someone else hold her up for once. he tells her that they can go out right now and get something else, he'll change and shower, the whole thing will take maybe thirty minutes to take care of, and they'll take his bike instead of her car so she doesn't feel trapped, how does that sound?

part of her is still screaming at herself for being weak, both to the suggestion and her emotions, she should fight this harder, how was it fair that apollonnio still fucked with her mind this way as a dead man? she was better than that. But instead she just sniffles and nods and can't look him in the eye because she knows her makeup is running (as if that's something he's never seen before), and follows nines outside while he refuses to let go of her hand until the last possible second.

she'll be okay, eventually. one day at a time.

[miss-smutty]

The Destructive Secret

Chapter 7

A/N- I'm back! At least I think I am 😂 I wrote this while I was struggling with writer's block so I don't think it's great but the next chapter I'm working on I feel back to the old me 🥳🤞

Summary- Are your lies finally going to catch up to you?

Word count- 2.8K

Pairing- Chris Hems x reader x Liam Hems

Warnings- Mature themes, cheating, swearing, smut

Strictly 18+ only!

Disclaimer: This is an entire work of fiction/AU and has no affiliation to real life what so ever! This is a fictional story about fictional characters who happen to share names and faces with some real people.

Posted: 2nd Sept 2021

Taglist:- @innerpaperexpertcloud @pandaxnienke @chickensarentcheap @jjpogueprincess @longlostinanotherworld @mostly-marvel-musings @darklydeliciousdesires @monet-belle

The Destructive Secret Masterlist <

The guy turned to leave before looking back over his shoulder at the door, his hand on the door handle.

"If it makes any difference I would choose you over your brother any day." He winked as he left the room.

"What the actual fuck." You shout, storming out of the bathroom in a huff. "There's no way he's gunna stay quiet, it'll be all over the press come tomorrow." You paced the room, your heart beating fast as the adrenaline rushed through you. This was it, this was how it was all going to end. Liam would know as soon as he saw the headlines, all those late night and weekend conferences at the same time as Chris was conveniently away with work.

"To be fair, he does have good taste in men." Chris' usual nonchalance annoyed you, how come he could stay so calm? Why did he make you sound like a crazy person for actually worrying about what might happen.

"It's really not funny Chris, do you want our business known by strangers before we even have chance to speak to Liam and your Mom Chris, she's going to hate me." You feel the warm tears dripping down your cheeks before you even register you're crying. The thought of their mom hating you upsets you more than the thought of Liam hating you. Cathy, their mom was like your own mother, from day one she'd taken you under her wing.

"My Mom would love you no matter what, you know she thinks of you as her own daughter. It's me she's going to blame, Liam's her baby." 

"Yeah you're probably right but still what are we gunna do?" 

"Let's relax babe, you don't know what's going to happen and you can't change it if it does happen so what's the use in worrying about it. Come here."

"You piss me off Chris, you're so laid back. This isn't something you can just sweep under the carpet. It's serious." You needed to take your anger out on him, to let it all out so you could feel better. The four walls of the hotel room were becoming claustrophobic, you wish you could just put your headphones on and just run for a while to clear your head, that's what you usually did.

"I know it is but what can we do? I've done everything we can do, now it's out of our hands. We'll work it out tomorrow, can we enjoy our last night together without all the serious talk?" He raises his eyebrow at you, smiling that sweet, goofy smile of his that has your heart melting.

"You piss me off even more when you look at me like that. I can't stay mad at you and how could I say no to that?" You put your arms around his back, loving the way his height makes you feel so small and safe. He wraps his arms around you, stroking your hair and holding you close.

"That's why I love you yanno." 

"Why?" You ask, looking up at him through your eyelashes, your neck stretching to reach his height.

"Because you never say no." He laughs, a real laugh that you can feel on his toned stomach, shaking against you. It was the best feeling hearing him laugh like that, it'd been so long since you'd heard him laugh. Your life being full of a lot of drama and upset recently that you were appreciative of the little time you had left together.

"Maybe I should start then." You pout pretending to sulk.

"No way, I love how easy you are." He picks you up so you can wrap your legs around him, looking down on him for once. You punch him lightly on his shoulder, still pouting. "Ok, ok I'll stop teasing. You know why I love you though." 

"Tell me." 

He sits down on the end of the bed with you still in his arms, resting on his great big, thick thighs. He moves your hair behind your ears so he can see your face, studying it carefully with a look of adoration in his eyes.

"I love you because you're absolutely drop dead gorgeous, I mean the first time I met you, you literally knocked the air from my lungs. I've been obsessed with you ever since." He shuffles slightly beneath you, getting himself comfy. "This would never have happened with just anyone, I'm not a dick that goes around sleeping with his brothers girls." You give him a questioning look, your eyebrows furrowing. "Seriously, it took fucking everything in me to try and resist you. I'd never felt that before, never been one of them that wants what they can't have. Until I met you. Fuck me you were an absolute bombshell." You frown at him. "Are, still are a bombshell, don't look at me like that." He laughs.

"Tell me more." You whisper, feeling yourself tear up at his revelations as you run your hand through his hair, his eyes closing as you do.

"Am I stroking your ego?" He smiles slyly. "Do you remember the first time you met me?" 

"Of course I do, me and Liam had already been together a year but you'd been in Australia. I was eighteen, young and dumb..."

"And full of..." 

"Do not even finish that sentence, you're ruining the moment." He laughs at you but quickly gets back to being serious.

"You were eighteen and ridiculously mature for your age, I was twenty six and still acted like a teenager. I remember you walking in in that little denim skirt and tank top, smiling at me with that beautiful smile. The first thing I noticed was your eyes, the way they lit up when you smiled. You had me right at that moment, I was smitten. Then you introduced yourself as Liam's girlfriend and my heart sank." 

"I can't believe you remembered what i was wearing, it was twelve years ago." You kiss his forehead, holding his face in your hands. So glad you had the opportunity to talk like this, knowing all this made you know you hadn't made a mistake. "I was so nervous walking up to you, I'd only ever seen you on photos and crushing on you when you were in home and away. Then you're there in front of me looking sexy as hell and I knew I had to make a good impression."

"Little did you know, five years later I'd be bending you over that table and giving you everything you'd been searching for?" He questioned, raising his eyebrow at you with a smirk.

"No, dick! Little did I know you'd sweep me off my feet and make me question everything I ever knew." 

"I am a dick but that's why you love me isn't it?"

"Your ego definitely doesn't need stroking. I fell in love with Liam when I was still a girl and I fell in love with you when I was a woman. People change, needs change and..." 

"And I give you everything you need." His hand travelled to your ass pulling you into him, pressing against his growing erection.

"You do, you need to work on your arrogance though." You laugh. "But seriously I'm done with all this now, we can't go on like this anymore. I want all of you, all of the time."

"So you've made your decision." His lips part, his head resting against your forehead.

"Was there ever any doubt?" You question, running your finger over his lip and grinding against him subtly making him groan.

"Fuck Y/N, I fucking love you so much it's crazy." He says through gritted teeth, holding the small of your back as you raise your hips, your face contorting with need. "What would you do if I asked you to marry me?" His hand travelled down the back of your shorts, cupping your ass in his hands.

"What do you think?" You tease, taking his bottom lip in your teeth and pulling gently.

"I don't know, that's why I'm asking." His face was set seriously, he wasn't joking, he wanted to marry you.

"Of course I'd say yes, once we'd dealt with everything." You smile watching his face light up.

"You're going to be Mrs Hemsworth and mine, not Liam's. I can't fucking wait." He picks you up, gripping your ass making you squeel before planting you back on the bed on your back.

Leaning over you, his palm caressing your stomach, kneeding your breasts with his long fingers. His erection poking into your clothed heat.

"You're so fucking perfect, are you ready to cause destruction?" 

"Like now, in bed or?..." 

"You know what I mean." He laughs, reaching down to attach his lips to your neck, sucking gently.

"If it means I get you then yeah, I'm ready." 

"Right answer. You've made me the happiest fucking man in the world yanno?" His hand moves under your top, pushing it up to your chin as his lips finally meet yours. Kissing you deeply with everything he's got, your body rising from the bed to meet his.

"I think... I can... Make you even happier." You say between kisses, pushing down his boxers, your nails scratching his skin gently as you do. 

He rests on one elbow watching you free his cock from its barrier. You cup his balls in your hand, stroking along the length of his cock with the other. He groans, pushing himself into your hands.

"I'll be happier once I'm buried inside this perfect pussy." He kneels between your legs, pulling your panties off before hovering back over you.

"Go slow baby, I want to feel everything." You whisper.

"Fuck, I can't guarantee how long I'll last." He moans, lining himself up and slipping in making you both moan as his cock stretches your walls perfectly.

He rests on his elbows, holding your face in his hands as he gently thrusts into you, wrapping your legs around him and pushing him in further, deeper. Hitting your spot with the curl of his hips, agonisingly slowly. You look into each others eyes, his forehead resting against yours. Tears in your eyes from the intense intamacy.

"I love you Y/N." He declares gruffly, his voice deep with lust.

"I love you too." You whimper.

Moaning everytime his thighs connected with yours, flesh slapping together, bringing your hips up to meet him. Him grunting with every thrust, your sex noises filling the otherwise silent room. The sound like a symphony to your ears, turning you on even more to hear his exclamations of ecstacy.

"It's always been you Chris." You whisper, making his pace become sloppy, losing his composure and restraint at your words. You can see it on his face as it twists, his cock twitching inside of you.

"Come for me baby." He grits his teeth, the muscles in his jaw tightening as his body goes rigid.

"Ah fuck." He brings you over the edge with the last of his powerful thrusts, your legs shaking around him, the feeling of satisfaction melting through your body simultaneously. A proud look on his face as you both come together and he falls limply onto your sweat laced body.

You stay like that for a while, both enjoying the moment, his cock still twitching inside of you. The heaviness of his body burying you into the mattress but you don't complain.

You don't want him to move, you want to memorise the feel of his heaviness and how his cock feels inside of you. How his rough face feels against your smooth skin, his hair tickling under your chin. You trace the muscles on his back, the defined shoulders and lean waist. Your hands gripping his tight, round ass and you close your eyes, remembering every dip and ripple, dreading the thought of being without him in your arms for at least another couple of weeks.

"I don't know how I'm going to watch you walk away tomorrow." He rolls on to his side, pulling you into him. "I think that's the hardest thing to deal with out of everything."

"I was just thinking the same thing." You looked up at him through your eyelashes, your fingers brushing against his tight pecs. "You know we've been doing this for nearly 6 years now and I don't think I've ever felt as close to you as I do now. It's going to be even harder for me to leave this time." 

"I don't even want to think about it but we only have hours left together, what's our plan?" 

"You mean when and how do we tell Liam?" You ask sitting cross legged in the bed, reality kicking back in. You have to go home to Liam and leave Chris all over again, back to the lies and sneaking about.

"That and when am I going to be able to see you again? I don't want to wait as long as last time, you know how crazy i start getting when I don't see you." 

"We've got your cousin's wedding next week. I'll see you there." You risk a glance at him, pain set on his face.

"You'll see me but you'll be arm in arm with Liam and I'll be alone again." 

"How about once the weddings over and done with, we can tell Liam about us?" You watch his face change, like a little boy.

"A week? I can do that, I think. But I'm not going to the wedding alone." 

"What do you mean? A date? With who?" Panic laced in your voice.

"I don't know but I'm sure I won't be short of options." 

"Are you fucking with me? Liam thinks you're dating a married woman, where you going to find one of those?" 

"I don't know but I'm not turning up to a family party on my own again, my aunties can be fucking brutal." 

"Well don't expect to playing all happy families and me being all nice." You sulk.

"Are you jealous?" 

"Yeah, duhh."

"Come here." He pulls you into arms wrapping his legs around yours. Comfortable silence drifting over you both as he strokes your hair and you fall asleep in his arms.

***********

You wake up in the morning smiling, then remembering what day it is and that you have to leave to go back to boring reality and your smile fades. Chris stirring beside you, his muscly arm resting over your stomach, locking you in place.

"Chris, wake up." You whisper in his ear, admiring his sleepy, perfect face. "It's 9.30 we've gotta check out at 10." He makes an unrecognisable sound of exasperation, his eyes opening, puffy with sleep or lack of in this case.

"Aww man, can't we just stay in bed a little longer, I don't wanna let you go." 

"You need to go check out first so we don't leave the hotel at the same time." 

"Fuck sake. Back to reality it is then." He says all hint of jokiness gone from his tone as he sits up and rubs his eyes. 

"I'm afraid so, I need to go grab my things. Text me when you've left please." 

"Wow! I feel used, do I not even get a kiss before you run out on me?" 

"I was just dealing with the business before I dealt with the pleasure, like I'd just leave without giving you a kiss." You threw yourself on him, wrapping your legs around him as he leant against the headboard. Taking his lips in yours, open mouthed kisses that left you both breathless.

*****

You packed up the couple of things you'd actually taken out of your pull along suitcase, you'd spent most of the weekend naked or slobbing about in Chris' t-shirts so all your clothes were still folded and packed.

You were anxious about going home to Liam and having to pretend again, having to try and not slip up about where you'd actually been. You literally had to go through possible conversations in your mind, conjuring up imagined answers to Liam's possible questions so you didn't get caught out. It was hard work.

Then you got the text from Chris telling you he was out of the hotel and on the road back home, followed by how much of a good weekend he'd had and how much he loves you.

You couldn't help having a spring to your step as you walked through the lobby, a weekend full of love making and reminiscing would have that effect on anyone.

After you'd checked out, the anxiety set in, like stepping out of this hotel would be like stepping in to an alternate universe. A universe that wasn't simple and easy like it had been this weekend but stepping through those revolving doors would mean that will all end. This safe feeling of being alone, away from prying eyes would end as soon as you stepped foot outside and it did, a ominous feeling sweeping over you, goosebumps covering your flesh. Maybe you conjured up the feeling in your own mind, manifesting it into existence but you couldn't shake it.

A feeling of being watched, was it your imagination or not? You didn't know, all you knew was how much you wanted to get out of public and back home. As you stood in front of the hotel, picking up your suitcase to carry it down the stairs, something caught your eye. A flash. And then another flash coming from your peripheral.

[mysimpleme14]

Sasusaku: Selfish

Note: I have a soft spot for Sasusaku blank period, and last night my brain decided to award me with an angsty Sasusaku dream at 4pm. I ain't good at writing but I just can't let that dream go, it was beautiful 😭 hope you will enjoy, excuse my grammar please don't sue

Sasuke stands still, eyes staring at the pink-haired girl, lying weak on the bed. Her face is filled with bruises and bandages wrapped around her arms. His loose hands becomes a tight grip as he recall yesterday's incident. Seeing Sakura unconcious, in her most awful state on the ground destroyed him. It was because of him, and he was too late to save her.

"I'm sorry, Sakura" his words come out as a soft whisper, even he could hardly hear them. Sasuke turns around after hearing a click at the door.

"You're leaving already?" Naruto lifts his eyebrows, scaning his bestfriend from head to toe. He's wearing his usual black cloak, ninja equipments are safe inside the small bag tied around his thigh and a black bag he carries behind him. Seeing Sasuke turns around to look at Sakura one last time before walking towards the ward room door, Naruto knows he doesn't need an answer.

"Hey, look. Sakura-chan isn't awake yet. Maybe you should wait until-"

"I have to go, Naruto" he says before feeling a hand on his shoulder stopping him from behind.

"Sasuke, its not your fault."

Silence.

Naruto doesn't need to hear anything from Sasuke, he knows him well enough, a guy who talks as less as he can, hiding all of his pain alone behind those lonely eyes.

"Naruto" Sasuke says while turning his head to look at his childhood rival.

"Convince her to accept the proposal. Tell her to stop waiting for me. I don't know when I'll be back"

"Wha- the hell, Sasuke? You know she loves you too much she would wait forever for you!"

"She can't possibly wait forever, can she?" He says with a smirk before feeling a dull pain on his left cheek. Eyes wide, Sasuke stares at the guy infront of him.

"Snap out of it, will ya?! No one loves you more than her and you know that. You just don't want to admit it. You think I didn't notice how you look at her everytime we hang out when you get back?" Sasuke just replied with a short "Tch"

"Now I dare you stare at me in the eyes and tell me you don't feel the same way. I dare you watch her accept that proposal and marry another guy. I dare you, Sasuke!" Naruto's eyes reflect his feelings perfectly, anger. Sasuke sighs, trying to get all of his strength to stand back up and replies very calmly.

"Enough is enough, Naruto. Don't you think Sakura already suffered too much?"

"She won't be happy with me. She deserves someone so much better than me. Someone who will love her" he pauses

"More than I ever will" its a soft mumble but Naruto can still hear every word.

"She was kidnapped because of me, Naruto. Tortured because of me. This isn't even the first time. People put her through these because of me. Now don't tell me she hadn't had enough"

This time it is Naruto who keeps his mouth shut.

"I have many enemies. I just- don't want her to suffer because my past"

-----

Sakura is panting. She can hardly feel her legs. But there is something more important to settle right here, right now. And there he is, the love of her life standing still infront of her. She sees his eyes widened, and stays like that for a brief second, before turning into his usual cold eyes, staring at her.

"Sasuke-kun.." she walks slowly towards him. Her injury from the incident two days ago doesn't make it any better, but she doesn't care. All she wants to do right now is to hold the man she loves most, and settle this once and for all.

She knows what she had was mutual, she can feel the bond between Sasuke and her closer than ever now. The way he talks changes after his journey of redemption. The soft touch on her forehead he gives everytime before starting his trip. His small gestures of walking her home everytime the team hangs out, the subtle moments of him trying to brush away her patients when they started asking her personal questions. Sasuke was never the type to convey his feelings through words, she knows this much by now.

"I love you" she whispers briefly, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. She stays for a while and continues.

"No matter how long it takes.. I will wait for you" Sasuke is still in shock, the familiar smell Sakura had since they were genin wrapped around him as tight as those small but strong arms. He takes a moment to close his eyes, feeling his fast beating heart. Slowly, he took his hand moving it to her shoulder.

"Sakura"

"Go home" he says breaking the warm hug before staring at the girl infront of him, inches apart.

"Sasuke-kun.. I really want you to know that I-"

"Go home, Sakura" as cold as ice, Sasuke stares deep into her green eyes, he can see tears falling down her cheeks. She slowly pushes herself away, looking down, trying hard to distance herself from him before turning away. She gives him one last look, hoping he would say one word, just one word, 'Stay'. Sakura starts to run as fast as she could when that man doesn't respond as she hoped.

Sasuke stares at her shadow, gritting his teeth to ease a pain he is so used to by now, a sharp prick in his chest. The pain is proof and he knows what it meant. He knows.. he cares.

A lot.

---

A year passes by and Sasuke is now in Konoha after being summoned by the Hokage, Kakashi because of some trouble in the village. He has been staying for a week, and everything is the same as it always has except..

He hasn't seen Sakura. He isn't sure if she's just busy at the hospital performing some surgery he can't even pronounce or she is successfully trying hard to avoid him.

Thanks to Naruto, he got news less than a year ago that Sakura declined the marriage proposal, and is currently working hard to open her own Children Clinic.

He can still remember seeing her running around the hospital hallway in emergencies, wearing her white coat, watching her hands glowing with chakra. Her forehead would be filled with beads of sweat, worried expression never leave her face, not until she can save a patient. That face would immediately change bright and cheerful once that small machine beside her patient starts to beep again.

Sakura loves what she does so much, he thinks to himself with a smile. As much as he tries to deny it, Sasuke knows how much that woman changed ever since he left for his revenge. She became so strong, so matured and very determined especially when it comes to things she loves. Anyone who is sane enough would want to make her a life partner, he smirks as he remembers Sakura's marriage proposal the villagers were so hyped up about a year ago.

'Ring' his thought is distracted by the doorbell sound. It takes Sasuke seconds to open his door and the figure infront of him brings some weird feeling in his stomach.

"Sakura"

"I.. um.." he watches her stutter before she looks at him in the eyes, and Sasuke swears he can see flame in them.

"I was passing by his office and Kakashi-sensei asked me to give these to you" Sasuke takes the scrolls from her hands and replies with a short "Aaa"

"Then. I'm going. Good day" she says with a formal bow and turns around

"Sakura" he sees her jolt at her name being called. Sasuke pauses and thinks of the things he always wanted to say to her, ever since that day when he sees her tears for the first fime after years. He opens his mouth slightly but changes his mind.

"Thank you" he says.

Sakura replies with a simple nod and walks away. Sasuke can't help but stare at her figure from behind until she can no longer reach his sight. He looks at the scrolls in his hand and sigh.

"I'm sorry, Sakura. Its better this way" he whispers to himself.

---

"Take care, idiot. Sorry I can't see you off tomorrow" Naruto says with a soft punch on his shoulder.

"Nah, its fine. Thanks" he replies short. Naruto is about to walk home when Sasuke calls him again before saying.

"Take care of Sakura"

He sees Naruto pause and scoff before turning away and wave his hand. Sasuke stares at the sky, wondering if she will come to see him off like she always do tomorrow. Thinking whether she will ask him if she can come along, as she does everytime he wants to start his journey again.

Probably not, he thinks. It is never the same anymore now. Whenever Team 7 hangs out, Sakura will either be joining them late, or excuse herself very early giving ward rounds in the morning as an excuse. It is never her fault though. It is his. It has always been his.

Sasuke is about to close the door to his apartment when he sees a familiar girl walking silently towards his direction. There's that weird feeling in his abdomen again, he isn't comfortable but he doesn't hate it.

"Sasuke-kun" she says upon reaching infront of him.

A long pause.

"I- I just want to say goodbye. And goodluck on your travel tomorrow" she smiles to him brightly, but he can see pain in her eyes. He replies with a short thank you and expects to see her turning away to walk home. But she just stays there silently, its as if she is trying to battle her own thoughts. Sasuke is about to ask when he feels a pair of warm lips on his. His eyes widen as he feel her hands gripping his shirt, and later after a short second, she lets go.

"What happened a year ago.. I-it was never your fault, Sasuke-kun. I know you have been blaming yourself this whole time. So please, just stop it.."

"Enough is enough.." she said slow. He can't stop wondering if she heard him talk with Naruto that day.

"I can't keep doing this, Sasuke-kun. I love you so much. Please, just.. if there's a little space for me in your heart.. even if its just a little.. I beg you, stop blaming yourself" Sakura starts to cry, softly. Those tears had always been his weakness. No matter how much he tries to ignore that one fact, he knows he can't anymore. And right now, he knows more than anyone, that he can't deny this, whatever it is that he has towards her, that has been haunting him for as long as he can remember.

"Damn it, Sakura.. you annoy me to this point" he says facing down. After a brief second, he pulls her into his arm, and presses his lips against hers. Sakura is shocked but it doesn't take long for her to lean in and dippen the kiss. Before she can put her arms around his neck, Sasuke pulled away.

His dark orbs stares at her, his eyes full of longing. There is confusion in hers though, but another thing they both have in common, is wanting more. He gently grabs her hand as a sign to invite her into his apartment and she replies with a warm smile and a pink flush on her cheek.

---

Sasuke stares at her back while she puts her headband on her pink locks. The silence is for a while now but it is not uncomfortable. He sees her looking at the floor for a long while before starting to talk.

"I- I'm sorry.. if I suddenly came over last night" he is about to reply but she continues while turning around to face him.

"I know you.. said no to me so many times.. and.."

"A girl shouldn't be like this, right..?" She chuckles softly but tears starting to form in her green eyes. It takes her only a few seconds to sob and cry like a baby.

"Why can't I just forget you and move on?" Her cries starting to sound like a whisper. Sasuke looks at her wiping her tears off her face but later forming more tears. He was never a sweet-gestured guy, romance is one of the many things he didn't want to get involved with. He never knows how to calm a crying woman, so he just look and starts to reply.

"I wanted you to be happy, Sakura"

"I wasnt sure you'd be happy with me"

"You deserve someone better than me, I hurt you too many times"

"I was ready to let you go"

He says softly while looking at her starting to calm down.

"But a part of me.. wanted to be selfish. And make you mine"

He continues, their eyes still staring at each other. Sakura sees it in his eyes, his eyes speak better than his words. But now that he made it clear, she is more sure. Her orbs become more gentle and she smiles to him ever so brightly.

"Be selfish, Sasuke-kun" She says stroking his cheek softly. Resting her forehead on his, Sakura softly carress his lips with her thumb.

"That way I can be selfish too"

- E N D -

Hnggh I wish I can write better but oh well, goodnight 😂💕

》 My poor soul needs more Sasusaku angst, feel free to reply with more angst sasusaku fanfic 😍

[letsbeoutoftouch]

Back in December 2016, during a sleepover, my friends and I decided to watch EXO's Chanyeol's most recent movie, "So I Married an Anti-Fan". It effortlessly became one of my favourite movies, so much so that I rewatch it —at least— once a year.

Therefore, when it was first announced that South Korea was going to produce a drama based on the same story, I was thrilled. The feeling only increased when I found out that the male lead was Choi Tae-Joon, whom I loved because of Suspicious Partner. Later (to be more precise, this year), I discovered that the other lead was the one and only Sooyoung from SNSD!

The drama was filmed back in 2018, and it was supposed to air a loooot sooner, but it had a few problems and it finally came out this year. Since I don't like waiting for episodes to come out each week, I waited until it finished airing to watch it... And, today, I finished it!

So, here's my review, fresh out the oven!

· · ·

So I Married an Anti-Fan is a 2021 South Korean drama, featuring Choi Tae-Joon, Choi Sooyoung, Hwang Chansung and Han Ji-Ahn. It's based on the novel "그래서 나는 안티팬과 결혼했다" (So I Married an Anti-Fan), written by Kim Eun Jun and published in 2010.

· · ·

♡ PLOT:

The story revolves around Hoo Joon (Tae-Joon), a well-known idol, and Geun Young (Sooyoung), a magazine reporter. They meet during an event, where a series of misunderstandings leads them to have a bad impression of each other.

For this reason, when Geun Young loses her job, she's under the impression that it was Hoo Joon's doing and is therefore keen on "reveal" Joon's real character. However, her retaliation backfires, and she attracts a lot of attention as his "anti-fan".

Later, a TV producer approaches them both to star in a reality show. Geun Young and Hoo Joon accept and think to give each other a hard time on set. But, as time goes by, they get to know each other better and better.

· · ·

♡ EPISODES:

It's made up of 16 episodes, running for an hour each (i.e., your typical k-drama).

· · ·

♡ CHARACTERS:

-Geun Young (FL): She's the best character, hands down (I swear I'm not being biased because I love Sooyoung).

For some reason, I've seen a lot of bad comments about this character. I don't truly understand why some people said that she didn't stand up for herself or that she was so-so, when she dealt really well with everything that had happened to her. I'd like to see all those people in her shoes—I bet they'd have cracked up quickly.

Also, she's like the least toxic character I've ever come across in a drama. She waits patiently for Joon to deal with his problems and doesn't jump to conclusions regarding his relationship with In Hyeong and Jae Joon. She lets him do his thing, is an independent woman, and tries to be as little of a burden as she can to the people she cares about. So, props to her!

▫ ▫ ▫

-Hoo Joon (ML): Although I overall liked his character, I admit that if I hadn't previously watched the movie, I'd probably be wary of him at the beginning. But, don't worry: as the story progresses, you get to know him better. He's patient and thinks of other people's feelings and well-being a lot (sometimes, a little too much for his own good, but he's a good boy).

I felt the need to include that there was this one scene where he acts... In a way that I didn't find appealing. Fortunately, he isn't like that all throughout the drama. Also, he isn't toxic like a lot of the male leads in drama-land. If you're wondering which scene I'm referring to, here's a spoiler: *SPOILER ALERT* When he and Geun Young start dating, they are requested to film an advertisement together. In the filming, he acts all "jealous" because the dress she was wearing was too short for his liking. I'm sorry, but she's the only one who has a say on how short a dress she's wearing is—not you, not even if you're her partner *END OF SPOILER ALERT*.

▫ ▫ ▫

-JJ/Jae Joon (SML): Jae Joon is the second male lead, and he was portrayed by 2PM's Chansung.

I'm sorry, but I never could come to terms with this character, not even during the last episodes. If the writers' intention was for me to hate him, they (and Chansung's acting) totally achieved that purpose.

He is incredibly selfish and keeps this attitude up to episode 13/14. Towards the ending, the story tries that the audience feels some sympathy towards him—it is shown why he acted the way he did. Nevertheless, in my opinion, while his past may explain his actions, it doesn't justify any of them. That's why I couldn't bring myself to feel sympathetic or empathetic towards him. *SPOILER ALERT* In fact, I think Hoo Joon was too nice to be there for him in the last two or three episodes. *END OF SPOILER ALERT*

He's also outright abusive. *SPOILER ALERT* I mean, he slapped In Hyeong and broke her laptop ¿?... Even though I didn't like her that much, nothing justifies that kind of violent behaviour. *END OF SPOILER ALERT*

▫ ▫ ▫

-In Hyeong (SFL): She's the second female lead, portrayed by actress Han Ji-Ahn.

Oh, man. I had a hard time trying to wrap my head around this character. I was just going to say that I couldn't stand her because she was always purposely putting a spanner in the works, making everyone's life difficult.

However, as I was drafting this review, I began reflecting on the character and felt sympathy for her. She was in a vulnerable place—leaving aside that she felt abandoned by her first love, she had trouble trying to make her career take off, and she was in a really abusive relationship. It could be argued that JJ and In Hyeon were both toxic to each other, but it was clear that he was the one with the upper hand (he was the CEO of her new agency, which brings a real disbalance of power).

Moreover, it was hinted several times that all she went through took a toll on her mental health (*SPOILER ALERT* she was always taking pills to calm down, and she freaking tried to kill herself!!!!!!! *END OF SPOILER ALERT*). I believe she needed professional help to put herself back together, so she could let go of her past and finally leave that abusive relationship.

· · ·

♡ COUPLES:

Since this drama mostly gravitates towards romantic relationships, I'm including this section.

▫ ▫ ▫

-Geun Young x Hoo Joon: They are your typical enemies to lovers.

In the beginning, their relationship was tainted by a lot of misunderstandings, which led them to hate each other's guts (but, where's the charm in a k-drama that isn't filled with misunderstandings, am I right?). Once they started to spend more time together, they began understanding each other better. In time, they were able to leave their pride aside and got rid of their prejudices (yes, the story gives Jane Austen-ish vibes, so much so that "Pride and Prejudice" is mentioned a few times).

Their chemistry was alright. I would have changed some parts of the script that made a lot of scenes to be super cringey—especially, before some of their kisses (like, what a way to ruin such an awaited moment!).

The thing I liked the most about them was that neither of them was toxic, and they knew how and when to give the other person space. They were sweet, but not unbearable sweet—just the exact amount.

▫ ▫ ▫

-In Hyeong x Jae Joon: I don't know if they can be considered a true couple, but I'm adding them here just to repeat that I HATED THEM TOGETHER.

· · ·

♡ SOME PERSONAL INTERPRETATIONS AND THOUGHTS:

For me, the story tries to show the two sides of the same coin: things that may seem completely different, but are essentially the same. You can see it with Hoo Joon/Geun Young, their friends, and even with Hoo Joon/Jae Joon. Of course, this could be argued—it is just my personal impression.

Also, while the drama condemns some of the toxic fan behaviour, it sometimes romanticises it. *SPOILER ALERT* one fan freaking kidnapped him, and everything was suddenly alright ¿¿ Nuh-uh *END OF SPOILER ALERT*

· · ·

♡ DRAMA VS. MOVIE:

As I mentioned above, there's a prior Chinese movie from 2016 that was based on this novel. It features EXO's Chanyeol, Yuan Shan Shan, SNSD's Seohyun, and Jian Chao.

For obvious reasons, the story is shrunk down in the movie. There are a lot of things that weren't included in the movie, other things were overly simplified, and some stuff was missing and/or changed.

If you want to have a good laugh, then I recommend you to watch the movie. It's filled with non-sensical comedy that, in my opinion, China excels at. However, if you are more inclined towards drama, then the South Korean version is the one for you (you'll laugh, too, don't worry).

· · ·

♡ SUMMARY:

This is, basically, a sweet enemies-to-lovers, famous-person-and-normal-person story. If you like any of those troupes, then you're in for a treat.

It's a really lighthearted story that will make you laugh. Don't expect a complicated plot because there won't be one. It's ideal to have a break from all those dramas where you can't miss a single detail because you'll get lost, or from those dramas which plots are so heavy they end up tiring your mind out.

I loved the cast, and their acting was great (especially Chansung's, because he made me hate his character with a passion, lmao).

ALSO, if you like Sung Hoon (My Secret Romance, Oh My Venus) like me, then WATCH THIS DRAMA, lol. He has a guest role in some episodes!

· · ·

So I Married an Anti-Fan is available on VIKI!

· · ·

If you read the whole review, thank you very much! I hope you liked it.

[fanficparker]

A GAME OF DIAMONDS AND HEARTS // H.O.

>> CHAPTER FOUR

“The life that you seek you shall never find. For when the Gods made man, They kept immortality to themselves.” - The Epic of Gilgamesh

(Frenemies to Lovers! Mob AU! ) Harrison Osterfield x Fem!OC

Word count: 2.47k words

Warning: Swearing, knives, anger issues, guns, handcuffs, kidnapping (kind of?), Harrison Osterfield (Yeah, that's a legit warning)

Synopsis: After the sudden death of his uncle and the eccentric multi-millionaire mafia king Lufian Clarke, Harrison Osterfield’s almost decent life is mostly devastated especially when half of what should be rightfully his fortune is transferred to their immediate rival for reasons he doesn’t know. What’s remaining is him trying to figure out how to deal with this collaboration of two rival corporations that don’t belong together and work on the side of the woman he never knew would ever be referred to as his partner in crime while they are dragged into a mess bigger than what they were trained to handle.

<< THREE [ MASTERLIST ] FIVE >>

Sandhya parked the car at the rear side of an autobody workshop next to a white pickup truck that resembled closer to junk than any actual mode of transportation. It was past ten when she pulled there, and the three people Harrison spotted in the shop were on their way to shut it down for the night's call. He had managed to keep a careful eye at what turns she took as the roads forked or what landmarks she crossed on her way, only to achieve practically nothing. He was a stranger to this place and she being the wicked witch she was, had driven in circles so many times that he was sure, she had managed to complicate the path for him in manners that his head failed to unravel.

"We are here, homies." She announced, yawning at the last part, tapping her palm over the dashboard, tugging the keys from the ignition and then pulling the hand brakes.

Kevin groaned, shuffling in his seat, eyes half-lidded, voice groggy with sleep. The women sitting beside him plucked off her earphones, shutting her laptop. Harrison, on the other hand, chose to inspect the unfamiliar surrounding in the comfort of the car, eyes sceptical and narrowing. He ignored the thud of car doors opening and closing only to be disturbed by a sharp noise of metal keys hitting the window on the other side.

He squirmed at the unpleasant sound and turned to look at the intruder as she leaned across from him, on the opposite side of the car, the neon signboard of the car workshop flashing red light over her face. She looked like an angel from hell.

"Are you moving out? Or should I rather lock you up here?"

Harrison tamped down the urge to roll his eyes and stepped precariously out of the car, rolling up his sleeves and buttoning them near his elbows. He followed the three people as they walk down a slope that connected to an underground parking lot. There were a few cars and motorbikes parked there, most seemed to be in a dire need of repair. It took him roughly two minutes to figure out that it was no underground parking. It was a whole ass hideout disguised on the front with unused motors. They walked into a narrow alleyway, passing through several closed doors of what he assumed were rooms to a living area attached to a kitchen. It wasn't well furnished but furnished enough for a stay. Gray unpainted walls, sofas, tables and chairs, fridge, microwave, a small but flattering shelf full of wine bottles and a CCTV monitor to the top corner that covered the outside of their hideout, all the necessities one needs to survive.

"Hey, we will need your phone and your watch." The other woman he didn't know the name of yet, matched his pace, her laptop tucked below her arm, her green hair shorter than his with a cool undercut to the sides. She looked equally chill and nerdy in her baggy checked shirt, a mixture foreign to him.

He paused on his way, casting her a scathing glare, a bored look wiping over his face the next instant, "And why would I give you that?"

"Because Holly needs to encrypt them," Sandhya replied for her, standing beside the taller girl.

"So that it isn't traceable." Holly reluctantly but quickly added. She was younger than them, probably around Harry's age. Harrison could feel an undercurrent of fear floating through her voice.

"Thank you very much, but..." Harrison replied, not missing a beat, shooting a bitter smile at Sandhya before facing Holly, uttering: "No," his lips forming a proper 'o' as he took a step away only to be stopped by Sandhya's hand grabbing his wrist.

"It's not a choice, Harrison." She asserted.

An order.

Something sour lathered at the back of his tongue. A vein in his forehead twisted. Anger? Resentment? Malice? You just name it. He felt all of them at once.

He jerked away from her grip, releasing his arm. When he turned to face Sandhya again, his entire aspect had changed. His shoulders were square and broad, posture imposing, features stone, eyes icicles. They exchanged a long, threatening glare, eyes never wavering. He took a step ahead, expecting her to step back but she didn't recoil, holding her ground. She had the sort of personality you associate stereotypes with: high cheekbones, tall stature, sharp features but she somehow managed to defy most of them. Without her heels and now wearing some flat running shoes, she barely reached his chin, there was something warm about the softness of her features hidden beneath her belligerent attitude. The little baby fat her genetics had blessed over her face, provided her preys with false hopes of mercy. Betrayal at its finest.

He looked down at her and she looked up at him, their shoes bumping, faces inches apart. Realisation ticks through her mind when she looked a second deeper into his eyes.

He was, perhaps, stalling.

Her neck snapped to the monitor embedded at the top corner of the living space.

Shit.

A car had stopped outside their hideout and two armed men emerged from the car, strolling towards the basement.

She identified one of the men. His men.

"Look ou--" She tried to yell but Harrison didn't allow even an ounce of air to escape from her lungs. He'd grabbed her shoulders swiftly, taking advantage of her diverted attention, squeezing her shoulder blades and twisting her body. Her back flushed against his chest.

Both Kevin and Holly grabbed their pistols, the clicking sound of safety pins dropping echoed in the enclosed space. They pointed the weapon at Harrison but he already had a pocket knife pointed at Sandhya's throat while his other arm was pressed beneath her neck, holding her still.

"Keep your guns down or this floor would bathe in her blood." He warned, poking the tip of the knife into her skin, eyes focused on the pistols.

Kevin and Holly hesitated, their eyes flickering at Sandhya's face. Something passed between their eyes, some sort of permission and they threw their guns down, sliding them away from their reach.

"Hands above your head, quick." Harrison added, "And place them on the wall, face the other side."

Holly and Kevin obeyed without questioning, pressing their palms to the walls, while Harrison bent to pick up their pistols, shoving them at the back of his pants, holding Sandhya on a chokehold.

"I'd warned about your men's involvement in Clarke's murder," she whimpered when he placed the blade near her skin again, getting to his feet, "Yet you let them trace our location," she somehow managed to finish the sentence.

"You speak a lot for someone millimetres apart from dying."

"You won't kill me." She said, gritting her teeth.

"Yeah, but I can hurt you," he whispered near her ear, "And we both know how much I'd like that." His warm breath fanned over her cheek as he dug the pointy edge of the blade to the pulsing side of her neck, pressing not enough to cut her but enough to terrify her.

"Arsehole." She muttered, sucking in a breath.

"Tell me something new." His lips twisted into a devilish grin as he dragged her outside, her loose hair tickling under his chin, his arms clenched so tightly around her that she was sure she would still feel them tomorrow.

"I am telling you..." She tried to breathe and speak.

"Sssh..." Harrison interrupted with a shush, the vibrations moving through her flesh, echoing through her bones.

She tried to ignore the effect of his voice on her spine, suppressing the chilling sensation. "We are on the same team," she whispered softly and carefully as if trying to lull a toddler into handling back their parents' important work files.

"Oh well, then I should be the one giving orders."

They walked to the front of the basement. She could spot the shadowy outline of the two men waiting.

She started trying to resist, wiggling her body in his grip.

"Hey, Hey! Behave. This blade won't spare. Don't blame me."

"Let go, Harrison. Your life is on the edge!" She wiggled harder.

Edge.

He couldn't stop but laugh at the irony in the metaphor she chose.

They reached his men and she stilled in his grip. A white man, she identified as Tom (as Harrison had previously pointed out) and the other man she didn't identify was black and taller than all of them, both standing like soldiers in front of her.

"This is Tom. And this is Tuwaine," he introduced his men.

"This could be dangerous for both of us." She was almost pleading now, eyes pooling with tears of irritation and of failure.

"We don't want to kill her," Tom said, passing Harrison a pair of handcuffs.

And here she thought she had the lead.

"Why do y'll keep telling me that?" Harrison groaned at Tom's advice. He had repeated it over, even Sandhya has said the same thing, twice.

"Do I look like a psychotic killer on a killing frenzy?" He grabbed her wrists, fastening the cuffs behind her back, gripping her upper arm. "I know well who and whom I am supposed to hurt, how and where." He clarified, gently pushing her to sit on the back seat of the car. She obeyed this time, having no choice.

"It's not easy to trust you," Tuwaine added.

Harrison nodded, trying to look offended, "Thanks Tuwaine, I needed that," getting into the car, along with her, keeping a good distance between them. He snorted when she swirled her neck to the other side, refusing to look at him.

Tom settled himself on the driver's seat and Tuwaine sat beside him as the car drove off.

***

The giant gates of the mansion she'd only seen from far away opened like butterfly's wings, welcoming the car where she sat as a hostage.

"Aren't you delighted seeing this place?" Harrison asked in a tone that was closer to mockery than curiosity.

She still refused to look at him yet could hear the smirk in his voice.

"The place you won in the lottery? Or shall I say, cheated--"

"Fuck off." She interrupted but he went on like a guide, ignoring the cuss—

"The second luxurious property in England, just next to the Buckingham Palace."

She chose to ignore too. The main doors to the estate were wide open. Two women came rushing out when the car came to a halt. One of them opened Sandhya's door, pulling her out, holding her forearm, the other pulled a pistol and a knife from her dress.

"Release her," Harrison said nonchalantly, tossing the keys of the cuffs to the first woman. She unlocked the metal and Sandhya pulled her hands from the woman's grip, rubbing her fingers around her wrists.

She walked in, eyes in the front as Harrison and the crew accompanied her.

"Take her to the guest suite." He said and the same woman nodded.

Before she could grip Sandhya's arm, she moved it away, rushing to Harrison, grabbing his shirt collars with both her hands.

"I'd planned everything so intricately and you... You just ruined it all." She spoke with clenched teeth, eyes glistening with emotionless tears. "Do you--Don't understand the gravity of the situation? We are literally playing with fire." She exhaled forcefully.

He chortled.

Playing with fire?

He had committed various mistakes today, more mistakes than he could recount, more mistakes than he could afford. He had let his emotions get the best of him. He had not inspected Clarke's body, then went to beat Dino's men without even being careful of the various other dangers he could cross paths with, then chose to accompany Sandhya alone, got into a life-threatening car chase, had a sniper pointed to his head.

On top of that, he had also failed to consider the disastrous change the mafia world would go through upon the King's death. Damn, he had already played with fire and it was enough for him.

With Clarke's death: The mafia world has never been so free and so trapped. So vulnerable yet so lethal.

Harrison had discovered that for himself. He fucking knew the gravity of the situation! And that's why he chose to take matters into his own hands. He could trust nobody. Especially her.

"You really need to stop with your habit of holding collars." He held her hand in his, thumbs tracing circles over the back.

She continued to search his face, dark eyes filled with disbelief.

"We will work my way. And..." his face hardened at the conjunction, his thumbs stopped their ministrations as he squeezed her hands tighter. "And when I find your involvement in Clarke's murder, I would not hesitate to put a bullet through your skull."

She snorted this time, pulling her hands back.

"This is what you concluded? This? After everything?" She burst out into a peal of bitter laughter, the one that twisted Harrison's gut.

Her eyes hardened again as she jabbed a finger into his chest.

The next words came out as an unchecked storm out of her mouth, "The life you want, you will never get." Her words were merely whispers but worked their way through his gut, burning his chest, crawling through every fibre of his body and she never seemed to stop.

"You'll never be the next Clarke, you'll never even be half of him. Maybe," she hiccupped, "Maybe, he knew that and that's why he chose me, he chose me over you because he knew how incongruous you were."

She took a step forward, her chest pressing against his, standing on her toes, directly meeting his eyes and raising her voice beyond the point of normalcy, "How you were an insult to his legacy!" Pausing to exhale, she continued, her voice back to low, "It was a pity that he gave you half of his kingdom. You didn't even deserve that. You'll never be him. You are nothing like him."

Harrison bit back his tongue, his icy eyes burning from the lack of blinking. The mansion was dead silent, no one had dared to speak or react. He clenched his fists tight, feeling his nails digging into his palms.

"Take her to the room." He instructed, voice barely above a few decibels. He didn't wait for his words to turn to actions, rather he turned on his feet, striding towards his room, jaws tensed, nerves popping through his burning flesh.

His footsteps echoed behind him.

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…TO BE CONTINUED…

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[nettles-bo-bettles]

Daminette Hogwarts au

Marinette's POV:

I went down to the common room to get out of the dormitories and go eat breakfast when Adrien started chasing after me and trying to get me to get back together with him. There's no way I'm even being friends with him after what he did. Ughhhhhh I feel like this is so cringyyyyyy!!!! What can I say I'm in middle school, there's no way I'm not making this cringy. I'm so sorry for making it this way but this is how Imma do it.

~Flashback~

"hmmmmm Adrien did tell me to meet him here." Marinette looks around only to see Adrien and Lila kissing. "w-why?" She asked Adrien. "WAIT MARINETTE IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!!!!!!!!" Adrien yells after her while she walks away. "Oh really? I think I know exactly what it looks like. You and your new girlfriend kissing while I sit here with barely any friends after she fucking turned everyone against me. That's what it looks like and that's exactly what's happening right now." She said in a power woman voice. "I swear that's not what happened princess, she just started kissing me that's it right when she saw you she kissed me, I swear." He said pleading. "You were fucking holding her that doesn't seem like her just kissing you." She said. "please I swear it wasn't at all what it looked like" He said still pleading. "You know what else this looks like?" She asked. "No what else does it look like???" He said now confused. "It looks like you're single, oh wait that doesn't make sense, let me rephrase that, it looks like you're now dating a liar and cheater and no longer dating the best witch of our age." She told him. She walked away and that was the end of their friendship and relationship

~End of flashback~

That cheating asshole will never get so much as a sliver of attention from me. After ignoring Adrien the whole time I went down to eat breakfast and went through all my classes for today. After classes I walked with Chloe, Alya and Juleka to the dormitories and we all started packing for Hogwarts. A few days later it was finally time to go to Hogwarts and we all got in Madame Maxime's carriage to get to Hogwarts. It was a few hours long but it felt like it would last forever. Eventually we got to Hogwarts and I was so excited, I knew my friend Fleur would be the champion for Beauxbatons even if all of the mindless sheep think that Lie-la will be the champion, I know it'll be Fleur. We landed on the ground and entered the building, still waiting for the people from Ilvermony.

Not even ten minutes later we saw a hot air balloon drifting down to the grounds and soon landing. After the balloon landed the kids from Ilvermony and their headmaster walked out of the giant air balloon and quickly walked into the castle for warmth. While they were walking in I locked eyes with a handsome boy who looked around my age, he had short black hair, tan skin, and forest green eyes, he was also very tall and did I mention he was handsome??? Did I say that he was very handsome??? I can't remember if I told you that this boy was hot af!!!!!

After everyone from Ilvermony was in Hogwarts we went into the Great Hall and sat with the houses we wanted to sit with. Ilvermony sat with the Slytherins and my school sat with the Ravenclaws. I noticed the handsome boy talking to another boy who looked to be our age who had light blonde hair, grey eyes, and seemed to be pretty short but also quite attractive. As I was walking out of the great hall to get to the Lady's Room I heard them say talking, the tan one's name, I think, is Damian, and the blonde one's name, if I heard correctly, was Draco. When I came back from the Lady's Room Adrien started begging for me to take him back again, so of course like any other normal human would do, I just walked away and sat at the Gryffindor table. I sat down to a girl named Hermione who I had met while she was visiting Paris during the summer and came to eat at the bakery my parents own. She said she was a Gryffindor at Hogwarts so there was no doubt that, if the people in my year started getting on my nerves, I would go sit at the Gryffindor table with her. When I sat down two boys who were sitting on the other side of her just sat and stared at me until I said

"Hermione are your friends alright??? They seem a bit like they're um well daydreaming about some random shit that probably doesn't matter." of course I said this while looking at them just to point out the fact that I am not the type to let people get away with shit like this, I'm too evil for that.

"oh, Harry and Ron? Yeah they're fine probably dreaming about the veela girl at the Ravenclaw table who came over and took the bouillabaisse." Hermione said.

"oh, you mean Fleur??? Fleur's the best, I bet she'll be Champion for Beauxbatons, I already know it won't be Lie-la tho, that girl could never be the Champion." I said to Hermione.

"I don't doubt that Fleur could be champion, I bet there'll be two Hogwarts champions though, one that put their name in purposely and then Harry, I mean Harry is Harry Potter after all so it's bound to happen." Hermione said this with such a sure look on her face that nobody could argue with her, not even me.

"I can't argue with that can I?"

After dinner and getting to know Ron and Harry, we went to the Gryffindor common room. I walked up the stairs to the girls dormitory with Hermione and we both went to bed. The next morning I woke up and got changed into a cute outfit, because Hogwarts decided to let the visitors wear whatever we wanted instead of our uniforms. So of course I put on my ADORABLE outfit and went out to the common room.

My outfit:

Except you know, she got her normal blue hair. But everything else is the same as the picture.

Me and Hermione went down to the common room, and got Ron and Harry and went to the Great hall for breakfast. As we were going to the Great Hall, we passed Damian and Draco, Draco then started an argument.

"Hey mudblood, blood traitor, what are you doing with the new girl hm?" Draco said.

"Hey, who you calling mudblood??? Hermione could beat you in a duel any day she wanted." I told him.

"Ohhhh the new girl's feisty isn't she?" He said in a teasing voice.

"Shut up Draco, nobody cares what you think, I mean after all who could when you walk around like you're a king when you probably don't have a family that cares about you even a little bit." I said.

"Sh-SHUT UP YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!!!!!!!" He shouted at me.

Then they just walked away. Of course, they walked away while Damian was giving us apologetic looks. The next few days were really similar, until Damian was no longer seen around Draco. A few weeks after Damian stopped hanging out with Draco we saw Damian in the Gryffindor common room, waiting for us.

"What are you doing here Wayne?" Harry asked in a kind of snotty tone that I had never heard before.

"You know I didn't like Malfoy treating you all like that, and I've gotten tired of him, all he talks about is how he's a pure blood and how much money he has, I'm exhausted really." He told Harry while looking apologetic.

"Oh alright then, you can hang out with us." Harry said with a COMPLETE change of mood.

"Thanks guys." Damian said with a smile on his face, he walked over to us to shake hands and we locked eyes again.

I'm not gonna lie my legs felt like jelly when we locked eyes, we just stared at each other for what felt like eternity until Hermione snapped us out of it by saying "Hey lovebirds, as adorable as this is, we all really should be going to bed soon. It's already 10:00 and we have to be up early tomorrow for the announcement of who the champions are for the Triwizard Tournament." she was also snapping her fingers a lot, I don't really know why but she did what she thought she had to do.

[buck-nialled]

Undertow - S. Mendes (V)

Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3 // Chapter 4

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CH V: Working Woman

“Okay, your turn.” Shawn hands the pair of dice over to Y/N. “Just like I showed you, yeah?” The dotted cubes landed in her warm palm as she nodded. Curling the hand into a fist, like Shawn had done moments earlier, she rattled the dice around furiously in her clutch and even blew into the tiny hole at the top of her fist for, as Shawn deemed, “good luck”. 

They clattered onto the game board moments later, revealing a collective five. She moved the metal ship that many spaces, as directed by Connor, and landed on the respective cube. 

“Ooh, you get to draw a card,” Shawn said, gesturing to the neatly stacked pile of paper on the game board. With an equally excited grin, Y/N swiped the card at the very top and peered at it for a few seconds. 

Tilting her head, she read off of the paper, “Go directly to jail.” Connor made a sound similar to a pathetic trombone and guided her piece to one of the corners holding an illustration of cell bars. 

“Just like home,” the girl sighs, placing her chin on her hand. Connor’s head snaps up immediately at the comment, eyes wide. 

“What?” Realizing her slip-up, Y/N’s head also stiffened and directed itself at Shawn, who was also staring at her with saucers for pupils. Then, the two looked back at Connor, still frozen with shock in his chair. 

“What?” The two echoed together. “I was just joking--” Y/N tried excusing.

“Two days ago you didn’t know the meaning of joking,” Connor retorts. “You said being in jail was ‘just like home.’ Shawn, do not tell me we are harboring a criminal.” Connor growled, aiming a desperate look at his roommate. Shawn is a terrible liar to the average stranger. To blabber a fib to his closest friend about their new houseguest would surely result in further interrogation. 

“Uh…um…” 

“Dear God,” the boy moaned, smothering his face with his hand. 

“I’m not a criminal,” Y/N piped up. Separating two fingers, Connor spared a hesitant look at the girl through his hand. “Well, not on land at least.” This urged Connor’s hand to fully remove itself from his face and clutch the edge of the dining table for support. 

“Huh?” A sigh is released from Y/N, who shares a look of sorrow with Shawn. There was nothing she could tell Connor that was more believable than the truth. Nevertheless, guilt swelled her insides with every word of her explanation she shared at the table. 

“So, I’m basically a fugitive of the sea...surprise.” She sang the last word, tossing her hands in the air.

"Wait so...you--she's a--" lifting an accusing finger, Connor's eyes flicker to Shawn momentarily. Then, they go back to Y/N again, "you're a--a mermaid?" 

"No, good grouper!" she bellows. "What is your land-walkers' obsession with having a fishtail? Is that attractive to you guys, or something?" she sputters in revulsion, looking back and forth between the two boys. Shawn and Connor only exchange a look before shrugging. 

"It was in the movie," Connor murmurs, lifting his shoulders in a shrug.

"Well, we are called the Atlanteans. Physically, we have all human parts with the exception that our lungs are capable of treating water as oxygen, our blood can range from warm to cold, our eyes fluctuate to perceive different lightings and--"

"Yeah, yeah you're basically a walking mermaid, we get it." Y/N crosses her arms at Connor's superficial retort. Shawn gulps as her glare directs itself at him and she huffs.

"And you wonder why we despise humans so much." 

"Woah woah, you despise us?" Connor leans up in his seat with a newfound interest in the conversation. "Why?" At first, Y/N held concern to share such vital information with her new caretakers. But considering Shawn has grown somewhat used to her unearthly routines of living and Connor's reaction to her true identity was less than startled, she figured now to be an opportune time to answer the question. 

"Every day, you land-walkers throw garbage around like it's sand or surfing trophies...where do you think it all ends up?" Shawn and Connor tilted their heads down, shameful. 

"Not to mention the oil spills and the fact that you catch half of our creatures for sport for no reason. It'd be different if you used them for vital resources like food, but you land-walkers see them as nothing but points to a game. Like this," she spits, knocking over the tiny, silver ship still sat in the jail square. 

"If you all treated our world with some decency, you might have known about Atlanteans much sooner." 

"Atlanteans are coming up to land?" Shawn arched a brow, earning a snort.

"Were," Y/N corrected. "Hundreds of years ago, that was the plan. That we would make an appearance and find a way to co-exist with humans. If there was a way to form bonds and relations with them...Atlanteans would bring the evolution of land-walkers to entirely new levels physically. You all would be able to swim to depths unimaginable, learn how to control holding your breath easier...but then, you dedicated your lives to destroying our home, our families...”

"Families?" Shawn questions meekly.

"Your best friends are other land-walkers. My best friend is a dolphin." 

"Really?" Connor's mouth dropped. She nods in response. 

"Yeah...well, and I guess you guys now, too." 

"We're so sorry, Y/N. We had no idea how bad it was,” Connor says.

"That's alright, now you do."

"Do you think if more people knew about you, they would stop?" Shawn offers.

"That's what I'm hoping but as long as the royal family of Atlantis continues resenting humans, there's no way for you all to know we exist. Then again, if land-walkers do find out about us...” 

"You could be put in danger," Shawn concludes in a whisper. Y/N nods, sparing a glance down at her hands. 

She offers a pitiful chuckle. “My father always told me, ‘If they don’t care about life down here now, why bother going up?’”

"But being on land for a few days," she begins, "way better than life down there."

"Well, you're welcome to live up here as long as you'd like." Shawn reaches an arm over the table to lay a comforting hand on her shoulder. Once again, her body was donning his hoodie, and it became flush under his heartfelt gaze. 

"Yeah, your secret is safe with us. Well, with me at least." Connor places a flat palm to his chest. "Shawn isn't the best at keeping things quiet." He whispers towards Y/N, who lets out a few giggles at the man's nervous look. Shawn only growls and kicks Connor lightly in his shin below the table. 

"I'll take this secret to my grave. I can promise you that," he swears, looking back to Y/N with nothing other than sincerity. 

"I appreciate it." She blinks before blurting. “Your eyes are pretty, too.” 

Her comment leaves Shawn flustered and Connor confused, but both boys have smirks on their faces after composing themselves and returning to the board game in front of them. 

“How do you apply for a job?” 

Her question caught Shawn off guard and he froze in his spot in the kitchen. 

“You want a job? What for?” 

“I can’t leech off of you and Connor forever. Gotta make money one way or another and it looks like I need a job for that.” She stood up, bringing her empty bowl of cereal to the sink and washing it out before placing it inside the dishwasher. 

“Do you have a particular place in mind?” He snapped back to reality. Was she already sick of him?

“No. That’s why I need your help. Where do I look and what do I do?” She turned to face him, arms crossed over her chest. He smiled at her disheveled appearance, hair in a messy ponytail and baggy pajamas that swallowed her frame. She still chose to use his hoodie, even with her own clothes to wear. 

“What kinds of things are you good at?” 

“Swimming and eating cheese balls.” Shawn laughed but Y/N looked dead serious. “Don’t laugh at me,” she scoffed. “Eating cheese balls is a real skill, okay?” 

“You’d be a good-” He stopped himself, hesitant to suggest what was on the tip of his tongue. 

“Hmm?” 

“Lifeguard. You’d make a good lifeguard.” 

“What do lifeguards do?” 

“Remember when you saved me at the cove?” She nodded her head. “Basically that with some variations.” 

Speaking of the cove, his foot had gotten a lot better in the days after getting stitches. He was able to walk without too much pain but he still couldn’t surf. According to the doctor, it could be a while before that happened again. If Shawn was being honest, getting back to surfing had gone to the back of his mind as he spent more time with Y/N. 

“So you mean there’s more helpless people like you out there?” She looked at him with disbelief. “You land walkers need to get it together. Save yourselves every once a while why don’t you?” 

“Not all of us are mermaids.” 

“For the last time, I am not a mermaid.” She nudged him in the shin with her barefoot. “I have legs and feet, not a tail.” 

“Same difference.” 

“You're impossible.” She turned around to go to his room and get ready for the day. She looked back once she stood in the doorway, seeing that Shawn was still staring at her. “What?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Mmm hmm.” She stepped further into the room to close the door. 

Shawn cleaned up the rest of the kitchen, putting the remaining dishes into the dishwasher and cleaning some crumbs off the counter. He sat down at the table while he waited for Y/N to finish up. 

She emerged minutes later, not bothering to close the door behind her. “So, how would I get this ‘saving helpless humans’ job?” 

“You could probably talk to one of them. I don’t know how they would feel about hiring you though since you don’t exactly exist as a person in the human world.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She sat down next to him, propping her elbows on the table and resting her head on her palms. 

“You don’t have official documentation in the human world. No birth certificate, no ID, nothing that proves you are who you say you are. Especially since you ‘don’t remember’ anything before you ended up in the cove, people are going to be hesitant to hire you.” 

“Well, then how am I supposed to get a job?” She rested her hands in front of herself, tapping her fingers on the wood. 

Shawn sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. “You might be able to get one at the market.” He noticed her look of disdain, remembering how last time didn’t go so well. “Or you could talk to Wesley about lifeguarding.” He grimaced as he said it, hating that he was even suggesting such a thing. 

“That’s not a bad idea. Thanks, Shawn.” She offered him a genuine smile and he melted at the gesture. “I might ask around while you’re at work.” 

“Just be careful, yeah?” He reached a hand to lay over hers, concern laced in his eyes. “We don’t know who’s lurking around.” 

She turned her hand over to grab and squeeze his. “You don’t have to worry about me. I’m a scary sea woman. People tremble in my presence.” 

“Okay,” he laughed. “But still, keep an eye out. For me, please?” 

“You know I will.” 

“So let me get this straight,” Tertis brings a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose, “you know a human who is watching after her?” His eyes land directly on the middle of the pile of knights, where Ripley was standing. The Atlantean delivered a firm nod and a confident, “yes, sire.” 

“Then why is she not down here in shackles yet?” he barks, slamming the butt of his trident down onto the sea stone with a firm grip. The large clang reverberated through the walls of the throne room the king had recently gifted him but was now threatening to reap Tertis if the search for the runaway princess is left unsuccessful. “I have given you a job gentleman. Unless you’d like a new one polishing my feet, I suggest you do what I have asked of you.” 

Murmurs of “yes, sire” all warp together before many knights are swimming off in their armor to complete the task. Ripley prepared to do the same, before Tertis bellowed a deep, “stop.” Ripley did as commanded, and approached Tertis with fretful eyes. 

“What is your name?” The knight gulped. 

“Ripley, sire.”

“You are going to be the first of the knights kneeling by my feet if that fugitive is not brought to me soon. Understand?” The growl made Ripley’s insides begin tangling themselves in knots. While catching the runaway princess should be his top priority, the safety of his son surpassed it greatly. What kind of father figure could he label himself to wreak havoc on Wesley’s home, as well as his own wife’s? 

He nods anyway. “Yes, sire.”

“Good. And just to make things crystal clear...I want her back down here in two days’ time. No longer. You have wasted plenty of sun piddling on the land-walkers' territory,” he spits in revulsion. The knots within Ripley tighten. Flashes of Wesley overcome his mind, and he feels his heart and throat begin constricting simultaneously. His response is a feeble squeak. 

“Yes, sire.” 

“Do you know if he lives around here?” Y/N tilts her head, eyeing Shawn from the passenger seat of his Jeep. Her eyes subtly transfixed themselves on his muscled arm, which connected to the hand comfortably holding the steering wheel. His other forearm occupied the small center cubby, separating the two, fingers dancing in anticipation for what this “lifeguard lesson” Wesley (eagerly) agreed to would entail. 

“Who?” 

“Him,” She points a finger to the radio, currently blasting the top-charting single, Watermelon Sugar, throughout the vehicle.

“Harry Styles?” He scoffs, “I doubt he’s anywhere near here...why?”

Slumping down in the leather seat, Y/N blows out a breath and folds her arms against her chest. “I promised Douglas an autograph from him.”

“Wait—you—you know who Harry Styles is? The dolphin,” Shawn pauses, “knows who Harry Styles is?” 

“Of course. Sea people aren’t entirely uncultured, you know? We have music down there,” she remarks with an exaggerated roll of her eyes. The gleam of them blinds Shawn more than the rays tickling the sea at dawn, but he accepted the white glares in their every wake. 

“You’re doing it again.” Y/N points out.

“Uh-what?”

“Staring at me. Is something wrong with my clothes?” Her pale hands flew to the straps of the vibrant sundress Shawn now regrets suggesting her to wear. Beneath it lies a swimsuit even more promiscuous and the thought of Wesley earning perks of her body under the afternoon sun for the following hours set an envious fire ablaze within the depths of Shawn’s stomach. 

“No, you look great,” Shawn muttered while his eyes flicked back onto the road. You’d look better in my hoodie though, he thinks to himself. Y/N, now observing his profile, saw the subtle shifting of his jaw from her seat. 

“That didn’t sound too convincing,” she replies, a smirk barely tugging one corner of her lips up. “Shawn…what’s the issue?” Her query has the driver’s body tensing within seconds and the vicious grip his hand was clutching the steering wheel with was fading into a ghostly white.

“Nothing.”

“Shawn…”

“I swear I’m fine.” But at this point, he didn’t know who he was trying to convince. 

“You’re sweating!” she argues, aiming one of her hands beside Shawn’s face. Slowly, he endured a tickling sensation over his forehead as the droplets of moisture were plucked, one by one by Y/N’s magical forces. Her gaze remained concentrated as she worked to form a reasonable bubble of the water she had gathered from him and dangled it before his apprehensive gaze. “See?”

“Please don’t do that. Like, ever again.” His body shifts uncomfortably in the seat, as he feels the moisture reaching his palms. Y/N throws what little she had collected from his damp skin out of the open window to the jeep, disregarding the small splash it made upon landing on the pavement. 

“Just tell me what’s wrong--” 

“Fine. I think it’s a dumb idea for you to be getting close to the water,” he blurts, chest beginning to heave in irritation. 

“You’re the one who said I should try getting a job as a life—“

“I know and I regretted it as soon as I said it. Y/N, what’s gonna happen when they find you back in the water again? Do you think they’re just gonna let you carry on living life on land?” The parking lot was bumpy with sand but his Jeep managed to climb over any humps. As much as he wanted to put the gear of his vehicle in reverse, he switched it to the parking setting instead. 

“I-I don’t know but...but I haven’t seen any sign of them here so far, so--” 

“Don’t you think that’s because you’ve been doing a good job hiding out, away from water? One trace of you and they’ll drag you right back down to where you don’t want to be.” His snippy tone acted like weights to the corners of Y/N’s mouth. Each harsh word he directed at her further encouraged her frown to deepen. “I’m sorry Y/N, I can’t let you do this.” As his hand went back to the gear shift, hers landed on top of it. Shawn froze at the feeling of her skin cloaking his own while internally, the man became hypnotized with this indescribable warmth. 

“No, Shawn. I want this job.” 

“I can get you a job in the market,” Shawn offers, earning a sharp glare from the girl sitting across from him. “It’ll draw even more confusion once they ask for proof you are human, Y/N. It’s dangerous either way. I don’t want you to take that risk...c’mon let’s go--”

“I’m not leaving, Shawn.” She shakes her head furiously, catching sight of a few beachgoers running past them through the windows. Screams of all pitches faded in and out during the stampede occurring outside but Shawn took it as nothing out of the ordinary. The weather was nice and teenagers were always excited to end the school week with their friends in the crystal blue waters. 

“Why not?” The growl laced in his voice catches her off guard but does not halt her outcry seconds after. 

“Because you’re trying to take away the one thing I might actually have a chance at, here! You might not see it as a good idea but you know deep down I’d be way better at saving lives here than at the market selling--” 

She inhales a piercing breath; one that makes Shawn’s eyes expand in fear and unknowing. The hand atop of his clenches but Shawn barely feels the fingernails leaving patterned crescents on the tan skin. “Y/N...what is it? What’s wrong?” 

But her jaw was locked and unmoving as her eyes continued blinking at the sight behind Shawn’s shoulder. Through the glass of his window, she peered at the menacing waves, which continued crashing high and mighty, washing pedestrians in the opposite direction as they screamed and flailed in desperation on their way to safety. 

“Tsunami,” she whispers, her voice barely audible. Shawn’s head snapped back to where her stare was trained, observing the damage for himself. In a moment, his neck was twisting back to see Y/N clambering out of her seat and out of the Jeep. 

“What are you doing?” demands a flabbergasted Shawn when he sees Y/N begin sprinting towards the oncoming waves, against the traffic of the crowd. He exits his side of the car, repeating himself even louder atop of the shrieks of terror emitting from the stampede. Through the swarm of bodies and sand, he spots waves he has only dreamed of being able to ride forming and expanding in their travel to shore. 

“Showing you that I’m responsible enough to save people! Go!” 

“No!” he refuses, shoving his way past bodies as he tries nearing her. She is far past him at this point, though, and getting harder to see through the ever-darkening sky, swirling with clouds. “I’m not leaving you!” She cannot slip away from me this easy, he thinks to himself.

“Then you have a death wish!” Another harsh wave breaks and slams with a large boom, reaching up to the lower portion of Y/N’s calves, and Shawn’s ankles. “Just go somewhere safe! I need to find Wesley!” 

“Wesley?” Shawn whispers to himself, halting his stomping feet. Simultaneously, he feels his heart drop, as well as his body. Something vicious jostles him to the ground and the bitter saltwater meets his tongue, bringing him back to the horrid wipeout he suffered a bit over a week prior. The waves continue their harsh entrance onto land and enter his eyes, allowing him to shut them in a hiss while a brutal, unknowing force keeps him sessile. 

His heartbeat was erratic but all he could feel was it sinking in his chest like a rock from Y/N’s frantic running away from him. Maybe Connor was right, he thinks to himself, becoming attached to her could only end badly. 

Why Shawn decided to call her name after and endure gargling salt water through every scream is unbeknownst to him. Why he continued doing it until his voice reached a murmur and his vision morphed into something spotted is even more of a mystery. The screaming winds hardly catch the broken whisper he lets slip through his lips until the forces surrounding him finally render him unconscious. 

“I love you.” 

Look out for the next part of Undertow coming 3/5/21!

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[sery-chan-13]

Games

Chapter 7 to '100 Promises'

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Warnings: Swearing, violence, bullying, blood, I think that's it, but as always feel free to tell me if I missed any.

"I finally got contact lenses. I think they'll be better than my glasses. I mean, yeah, I'll probably still use them, but it's... nevermind, what do you think?" He rambled, a dorky smile on his face. "If it'll make you happy, then you look great," you said, smiling, honestly meaning your words. "I'm asking for your opinion woman, stop giving me the 'if it makes you happy' bullshit. Give me your opinion," he stated, shaking your shoulders."It looks good! I'm not used to seeing you without your glasses, but you look good!" You laughed, your words coming out in a vibrato of sorts from him shaking you. "I'm glad you think so."

"Dear gods my hair is getting long..." he muttered, running his hands through his hair, staring at himself in the bathroom mirror. "I think it looks good," you commented, passing by the bathroom with a laundry basket. "Really? I think I kind of like it too..."

"And how much does it hurt?" He questioned. "Not that much, or so I've heard. Plus, we're getting it at the same time, so... no backing out, or I'll cut your hair," you threatened, your hold on his hand tightening a bit. "No, don't you dare. And I won't back out," he said as you dragged him into the shop. (The fact I've been threatened with that-)

"I somehow can't believe we looked like that!" You laughed, pointing at the photo on your phone. It was from high school, and you were both laughing at how dorky you both looked. "Oh gods... actually, I was kind of hot," you said, giggling a bit. "Have we really changed that much?" Niragi questioned. "Well, let's see," you said, opening the camera and telling Niragi to get into frame. He did so, and you both stuck out your tongues, the matching piercings glinting in the light. You snapped the photo, and put it side by side the one from high school. "Wow... that's a big difference, holy shit," he laughed. You snickered, and posted side by side comparison of the the photos. "Yeah. Huge difference."

"Hatter would like to see you... Alone."

You looked back at Ann, and nodded, getting up. "If she's going, I'm going with," Niragi said, getting up himself. "He said he wants to speak to (Y/N) alone. Respect to rules for once please," Ann chided, as you walked to her side. Niragi laughed, finishing with a smirk, "And since when do I listen to the rules?"

You looked back at him with a proud, yet embarrassed face. Definitely not the same Niragi from back in the real world. He was more confident than you last remembered, that was for sure. "Dude, I'll be totally fine. The least they could do is kill me," you said, a bit to nonchalantly for his tastes. "That seems like a worse case scenario, but ok." he responded, "I'm still going with you." "No, you're not. Look, I'll be fine ok? Just wait outside the door," you suggested. He scoffed, but nodded nontheless. Ann stayed quiet, watching this exchange. 'So... is that all it takes to convince him? Really? All we needed was this girl?' Were her thoughts.

"Oh good, you're here!" Hatter exclaimed as soon as you walked in. Ann stayed outside, and shut the doors behind you. You nodded. Was he happy or just extremely charismatic? You didn't know, but whatever it was, it was nice. It made you feel like you were talking to someone you knew. Like the pleasant ladies from your apartment complex. "Well, what do you want to talk about?"

"Where are we?" You asked as you got off the train. "I don't know. Just took a random train. You said you wanted another adventure," he replied. You gasped. "Niragi Suguru, you did not," you said, grabbing onto his hand to make sure you didn't lose him in the large crowd. "I did. And what of it?" He asked, dragging you out. "Oh my gods... Excuse me, sorry to bother you, but which city are we in?" You asked one of the people who worked there. They smiled and answered with, "Shinjuku. Are you lost?"  You shook your head. "No, we'll be fine. Thank you very much!" You said. Niragi dragged you to the exit. "I don't look presentable to be in Shinjuku right now, Niragi," you said, hiding your face. "You always look nice though. And it's called opportunity. I took it, and now we're here. So, let's take advantage of this, yeah?"

Hatter sat you down. "From what Ann and Aguni reported back to me, you're a quick thinker. Great shot apparently. They were both very impressed," he started. You smiled. "I'm honored they felt that way," you said. Hatter chuckled. "Well, Ann said you'd do well in either position of a militant or an executive. And it's just your luck the precious person who held number 7 recently... died. The games, obviously. Before you came here, actually. Maybe it was a sign it was meant to be yours. And, since you've proven yourself useful, I think it's a good idea," Hatter said, rambling a bit. "That's a bit too high for me, isn't it?" You questioned. You had just gotten here, you couldn't possibly be up that high already. "Uh... no. It's not. So, as of today, you shall be a militant," he said dramatically. You laughed, thanking him as he gave you a wristband with the number seven written on the blue tag. You slipped it on your wrist. "Oh, and just so you know, Aguni will most likely take you under his wing. The militants are mostly guys, so be careful. And... uh... your friend can help you find everything. He'll also show you to your new room. That is all. Goodbye now," he said cheerfully. You smiled brightly, thanking him.

You opened the door to leave, seeing Niragi leaning on the wall across the door. You smiled, closing the door softly behind you. "I'm back," you said. He nodded, "I can see that." "Can you really? You have your contact lenses?" You asked, skeptical. He nodded his head. "Surprisingly," he added. "Hmm... and for how many more days do you have them?" You questioned as he led you through the hotel. "Well, I've been in the borderland about 2 and a half weeks-"

"Woah, hold up... you'd been gone for six months up in the real world-"

"Well, I'm starting to think time runs differently in both places. Because no way in hell have I been here 6 months."

"Ok... continue on."

You two talked about whatever came to mind just like you used to. It was like you never skipped a beat. He lead you down into where they kept the weapons. "Only milatants and Hatter are allowed down here. This is the basement, and also where we keep the weapons. So, take your pick," he said, a smirk on his face. "You're a bit to proud of this aren't you?" You asked, looking over the different weapons. "Maybe," he responded. You didn't have to look at him to know he was smirking, you could just hear it in his voice. You picked out a knife that had a strap around. You also picked up a riffle similar to Niragi's, and turned to face him. "Ok, I'm good," you said. "Tomorrow, the militants are heading out on a supply run. Which means you now too. You can wear actual clothes now, isn't that fun?" He joked. You rolled your eyes shoving him playfully. He ran his tongue over his teeth. "That's really how you want to play, huh (L/N)?" He asked. You could hear the tone behind his words. The tone that meant run or your fucked, because whatever game he's scheming will end with you caught. It was quite normal for you two. Playing games with each other was a hobby back in the real world. Didn't matter how childish or immature they were. "Ouch, my last name? That hurts... Suguru." (Is that his last name or his first name? I don't know, I've been treating it as his last name, but I'm probably wrong) You giggled, running off. There was probably tons of places to hide inside the basement, and probably even more places throughout the beach.

"How was last night? Did you have fun?" He teased as soon as you woke up. You rolled your eyes. "Don't even talk to me about last night. Another disappointment," you groaned, rubbing your eyes. "Damn. That bad, huh?" He said, handing you a mug with coffee in it. You took a sip, and smiled. Perfect... He always made really good coffee, and it impressed you. "Yeah... definitely that bad. I heard him leave this morning, let's hope he never comes back," you said. Niragi laughed, taking a sip of his own coffee. The sunlight came in through the sliding glass door of your apartment.  The sky was painted with pinks and purples. Gold dusted the clouds as the sun touched them. It was perfectly picturesque. "One day, we won't have to live in a sucky apartment building, you know? I promise you that one day we'll have... I don't know where do you want to live?" He asked you. You both walked over to the couch, sitting next to eachother. "I don't know... I'd go anywhere as long as I can still have my best friend with me.''

"Come on out, (Y/N). I'll find you sooner or later. We need sleep," he shouted. You stifled a laugh, and crouched down, sneaking around. You could see him looking around for you. You moved backwards, bumping into someone. You slowly turned around. It was the guys Niragi had introduced as 'Last Boss'.

Throughout the day, you had actually had the opportunity to talk to him a bit. More like you talked, while he observed you, occasionally making a sound of sorts to show you he was listening. He'd also answered your questions, so you thought he wouldnt be that bad. You made the quiet signal, putting a finger to your lips. He looked down quizzically. "Playing a game. Can't let him find me. Wanna join?" You whispered to the mysterious man. He nodded slightly, still a bit confused. "Ok, the objective is to not get caught by Niragi. He doesn't know you're playing yet, so I'll figure something out... oh, I got it! You go hide," you whisper shouted, shooing him off. He went to go hide, and you climbed to the top of one of the darker places. "A new player has joined in. One seeker, two hiders!" You shouted. You heard Niragi laugh. "Dumbass! You're letting me know where you are!"  You smirked. That's what you wanted him to think.

"Oh nice! You got his glasses that's 20 points!" The boys shouted. You struggled to get out of the ropes tied your hands together. You heard Niragi groan, and looked up, seeing him on the floor, blood dripping from his nose. "Niragi!" You shouted in worry. He looked over at you, before one of the guys kicked his face into the ground. You struggled against the ropes the boys had tied around your wrist. It dug into your skin, you could feel the skin being rubbed raw from how much you had struggled against them ."So useless without eachother, huh?" One of them taunted. "Stop hurting him!" You yelled, squirming. "Oh? Would you rather we harm you then? You were always such a pretty girl... to bad you decided to defend him," the leader of their little group said, kneeling in front of you. "I don't give a damn if you hurt me. Stop hurting him!' You shouted. "(Y-y/N), don't," Niragi said, before one of the bullies kicked him in the stomach. He winced in pain, screwing his eyes shut. "Stop it! He didn't do anything to you!" You screamed, struggling even more, the ropes creating rope burn on your skin. "It's not a vengeance thing. It's fun," the leader said, grabbing your chin, making you look up at him. You glared at him in disgust, wanting so badly to just hit him, or spit on him in the moment. But you didn't. You didn't because you knew if you did either you or Niragi would get hurt. More likely Niragi, since they knew he was your weakness. "Just like it's fun making girls like you submit," he added with a smirk. "Don't you dare hurt her! Hurt me all you want, but don't touch her!" Niragi yelled. There was confidence in his words, but you also knew how scared he was. You could see it on his face. "That sounds boring though. What if we just make both of you our little puppets for the night, have you both put on a show?'' One of the guys snickered. This was followed by a chorus of 'not a bad idea' and 'sounds interesting.' You looked at Niragi, fear written all over your face.

You ran quietly, and quickly, knowing he could catch up to you. You looked around the dimly lit basement, and saw the exist to go up. Your eyes caught a flash of movement, and someone grabbed you, putting a hand over your mouth. You were shocked at first, going to scream bloody murder, before seeing it was Last Boss. He let you go, and you took a breath. "Oh my gods... dude that was scary," you whispered. He shrugged. "I have a place we can hide. I don't think he's smart enough to find it," He suggested, nodding his head over to Niragi. You stifled a laugh, and nodded, letting him lead you.

"(Y/N)! (Y/N), are you alright?" He worriedly asked, checked on you. You hissed in pain when his hands went over the bruises. "I'm sorry. This is all my fault, if I hadn't-" he started, blaming himself. You grabbed shoulders, and shook your head. "It's not your fault... it's ok," you said, sitting up. The gravel under you poked at the skin exposed from your school skirt. "I-its not ok!" He shouted. "It's... it's not ok. You shouldn't have- I could've-" he started, pulling at his hair. "Niragi. It's not your fault. You didn't... you didn't hurt me," you said, your voice calming. You grabbed his hands, pulling them towards you. You were just kids. Fucking 16 years old(not exactly a kid, but whatever), you shouldn't have to go through this stuff. No kid should. "I should be comforting you, yet here you are, making me feel better. Stop it, you're the one who-"

"Niragi, it happened to both of us. Stop acting like you're ok too."

"But- I'm supposed to... I-"

"Shut up, and come here."

He sighed, sitting besides you. You pulled his head into your lap, and he sighed. "Stop taking care of me. Stop hanging out with me, because you're the one who ends up getting hurt because of me. Please," he pleaded as you ran your fingers through his hair. "No," you responded. "(Y/N), stop being so stubborn! Please, just... just listen to me!" He shouted. You flinched at the sudden loudness. "I- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you," he apologized, noticing when you flinched. You sighed, leaning back on the concrete wall. You muttered back something along the lines of him not having to apologize. You heard thunder, and saw a flash of lightning. "It's going to rain, we should go home," Niragi said. "Don't wanna... let's stay here?" You muttered, watching the sun get covered by the clouds. You were under a bridge, so you at least had coverage. He looked up at you, and nodded. "Ok. We can," he whispered. The raindrops began to splatter on the ground outside the coverage of the bridge, and you sighed in happiness. Niragi sat up, bringing you close to him. The smell of rain filled your senses, and you couldn't help but enjoy the moment, even if you had been in emotional and physical pain before. Being there helped numb it for a while. Being with him helped numb the feeling.

"Alright... if I were (Y/N)... where would I go?" Niragi muttered to himself, walking around. It was too quiet. You weren't a quiet person unless need be, and if he remembers correctly, which he does, you had a losing streak in hide and seek since high school. You were too giggly to hide in silence, or maybe you got scared by being alone in the dark to long. Whatever it had been, you had a losing streak for almost 8 years. That was not about to change, not if he had a say in it. A part of him said he was not acting like himself, and that playing this with you was childish. Especially in the borderlands. He knew he would have to find you either way, so he stopped caring. He remembered what she had said. A new player has joined in. One seeker, two hiders! 'Ok, process of elimination....'

"So, given the fact Chishiya isn't allowed down here, I think I know who she's with, and where she is. Let's see if I'm right.''

This was more memories than actual current events... oh well- hope you enjoyed, have a wonderful day/night, baii!! Oh yeah, just because this is the only place people have a problem with me posting Niragi stuff, if you don't like it, the block button is right there, don't send me death threats or tell me to go kms. Thank you

[maysbanks]

hold out. (jj maybank)

here it is, the second part to hypersonic missiles ! the response to the first part was absolutely amazing, the support & love in this fandom is incredible & i just wanna say a huge thank you to all of you that take the time to like, reblog & comment, every single one means so much !! gotta admit im not loving this as in it's not my best work and kinda all over the place & half way through writing this i almost scrapped the whole thing to rewrite the full series with an oc bc writing as the reader was starting to get to me lol. but alas here it is & as always i hope u enjoy x

warning: swearing, drug use, underage drinking, violence etc 

summary: after accidentally inserting herself into a treasure hunt with four teenagers, one of which could be considered her 'friend with benefits', y/n grubbs is left to deal with the complications and misfortunes that come along with it - including her ever-growing feelings for said 'friend with benefits'. 

( gif isn't mine! please let me know if it's yours so i can credit you. )

If someone had told you a week before that you would lose your father, get your house raided by two men you had never seen before in your life, make friends with a group of teenagers, embark on a two hundred year old treasure hunt with said teenagers, and be hanging out with JJ Maybank every day and willingly, all in the space of one week; you'd have laughed in their face, asked them what drugs they were on and could you have some, and then laugh in their face again.

But alas, there you were. You still couldn't quite believe it, especially the JJ part. You'd had worries at first, like would the gang really want you involved, did they secretly hate having you around, were they just being nice and letting you in on this because your dad had died? All the doubts swirled in your mind, running around like clock-work, just ticking away constantly in the back of your head. Surprisingly, JJ had been the one you'd gone to about them.

"I just feel guilty," you'd said. It was after a day of riding around in John B's boat and using fancy hotels' WiFi, and 'borrowing' a drone from JJ's dads old workplace. His eyebrows furrowed when he looked at you, confused. "I mean, you guys have been friends for like, forever. And then I just show up and you conveniently find out about John B's dad and the treasure hunt on the same day when I'm there, and it's just like - I don't belong with you guys, it's your thing and I'm just kinda, here." 

"You're part of this just as much as we all are," he'd told you, matter of fact. His body was angled to face you as you sat outside John B's self-proclaimed Chateau, a freshly rolled blunt being passed back and forth between the pair of you. "You need to stop doubting yourself, man. You're apart of us now." 

The words had warmed your heart, an instant smile being spread on your lips as you looked at him through red-rimmed eyes. Underneath the setting sun, he looked almost angelic; his golden hair blowing in the slight breeze, tanned skin exposed due to the heat. You had pretended not to notice the tense of the muscles in his arms whenever your fingers brushed when you passed the juul between yourselves. 

"You're too kind to me, Maybank," you'd grinned, boot-clad foot nudging his knee gently. "If I didn't know you so well I'd have thought you'd have ulterior motives."

"Who says I haven't?" He'd smirked back. You'd just smiled, teeth biting down on the plump skin of your bottom lip before you'd looked away from his burning gaze and focused your attention on anything, anywhere but JJ fucking Maybank.

You got along with the gang amazingly, you couldn't doubt that. Pope was the smartest guy you'd met, sweet and funny and passionate and so certain of what he wanted to do in life. Kiara, or Kie, as you'd come to call her, was very environmentally involved, almost too cool for the guys, you thought. She cared so much about so many things, and she had a great taste in music too. John B was a bit like you, you supposed. Fatherless, on the hunt for answers, things like that - but other than that he was a great guy, the makeshift leader of the little group, a little lost in life, but that was to be understood.

And then there was JJ. You felt most comfortable around the blonde, but that was kinda a given too, due to the fact you'd seen each other in your most vulnerable states that came with having sex rather regularly, something the other members of the gang didn't share. He was a spit-fire, always ready to throw a punch and fire threats at those who deserved it, head-strong and stubborn. But he was more so caring, God he cared so much for his friends, you'd discovered. He would do just about anything for them, whatever position that put him in. JJ put the gang before himself, always. You'd noticed all different types of things about JJ especially, little things you had never taken the time to notice before.

These little discoveries probably came from watching him too much, you'd thought one night. It was a bit of a problem, though you never mentioned it. The unspoken rule amongst the group was No Pogue on Pogue Macking, which basically meant everyone was off limits to each other. You understood the rule, Kie having been the only girl before you'd arrived on the scene amongst three guys, and after becoming apart of the gang you had no choice but to respect it - which also meant that JJ was off limits. But was he technically off limits when you'd already been there, so far past the line on macking with each other?

There was some sort of agreement between the two of you, that in order to make this work; your friendship with the Pogues, the hunt for the Merchant's treasure, that nothing could happen. You'd spoken briefly about it that first day, outside the lighthouse beside the Twinkie (John B's van, you'd learned had a nickname), we're cool, right? Pretend we haven't seen each other naked, conversation. It had been cut short, but it still happened. And the pair of you never mentioned it after that, a few off-handed comments here and there from JJ, but nothing specific. So you assumed yours and JJ's hook ups were off the table, and you had no idea why that had come to bother you so damn much.

On the day following your talk with JJ on John B's porch, he'd invited you to come along with him and Pope as they delivered groceries for Pope's dad, Heyward. You had almost said no, because really, you could probably do with a break from the Maybank boy, all the time spent with him was doing no favours for your little situation of Fighting Attraction While Hunting For Gold. That's what you were putting it down to in your mind anyway, too much time spent with the person you're sleeping with can begin to mess with anyone's head, and hey, maybe it was the fact that you were grieving and JJ was familiar - but you couldn't be doing with all these thoughts anymore.

Despite the angel on your shoulder urging you to turn his offer down, you'd said yes. But that was little to do with JJ and more to do with your mom and your current home situation, which was unbearable, to say the least. Your mother was barely speaking to you, as if she was scared of letting something slip if she did. In return, you shut her out, too. Told her lame excuses and empty lies when you were heading out with the gang, lying through your teeth when she'd asked where you were or where you were going.

Lana Grubbs wasn't a stupid woman, though, and you knew she knew you were up to something. But she hadn't mentioned anything outright yet, and so you hadn't said anything either. The hole your father had left was huge and gaping, evident in both your lives. You hadn't spoken about it yet, and you weren't intending to until she could be completely honest with you. You didn't want to hear anymore lies, and you were already on the path to discovering the full truth. On your own.

Her words echoed in your mind every time you left the house, voice small and gentle as she never failed to say the same thing. "Just be careful." You'd always look over your shoulder, and she'd never look back at you. She hadn't looked at you much at all since your dad had died.

It was after a certain drop-off of groceries, you'd joined JJ in his delivery whilst Pope had docked the boat and gone off to deliver his own, yours and JJ's strides matching as you walked the seemingly never-ending drive of the abnormally large house that loomed over you. The Kook part of the island never ceased to intimidate you, no matter how much you didn't want it to. There was something about it, the people that lived amongst it, that unsettled you whenever you entered it. Figure Eight wasn't somewhere you usually visited other than an odd job you'd picked up, and you were reminded why of that fact as you walked alongside JJ.

"Just think," he breathed, all starry eyed and parted lips as he gazed around the pair of you. "This could all be ours soon."

You snorted, bumping his side with your own. "Don't be melodramatic, JJ,"

"I'm serious!" JJ protested. His sea blue eyes caught yours when he turned his head to look at you head-on. The intensity of his stare almost made you stop in your spot, but you managed to carry on, gulping when his eyes continued to hold yours. "I'm sticking to my earlier statement, right, we're going to move here, and out-rich all these fuckin' Kooks."

"Out-rich?" You raised an eyebrow, lips quirking. "Your grammar is so adequate, Maybank."

"It's a word," JJ insisted, nudging your side with the point of his elbow. "Who the fuck uses words like adequate these days, anyway? I don't even think Mrs. Humphrey knows what that word means."

You laughed at the mention of your shared English teacher, the grey-haired, short, spectacle wearing woman immediately entering your mind. JJ grinned when he heard your laugh, dimples winking in his cheeks.

"Mrs. Humphrey can't even spell Wednesday," you giggled, JJ chuckling along with you as he nodded. "It's a wonder how that woman has been working there for like, eighteen years or something."

Your steps faltered as you neared the door to the house, pace slowing as you both basked in the time spent with each other, though neither of you would admit it. "She was probably a good teacher at first," JJ said thoughtfully, shuffling the groceries in his hands. (You tried not to notice the way his arms looked when he did that, muscles clenching and on full show with his cut-off tank.) "I bet each year another brain cell of hers just like, dies."

"Wouldn't surprise me," you nodded. "Mine would attempting to teach classes full of teenagers," rather dramatically, you shuddered. "Especially if one of those teenagers was JJ Maybank."

"Hey!" JJ shouted, though his grin proved that he found your jab amusing. You laughed along with him, bumping his side once more as you finally landed at the door, watching as he turned to you, expression trying to be serious and failing, rather horribly. "You better watch yourself, Grubbs. I'm serious here, I can be a pretty scary guy if need be, y'know."

You didn't doubt that, of course. You'd seen JJ in action with your own two eyes, you knew what he was capable of. But somehow, stood with you there, on the doorstep of some filthy rich Kook's mansion, groceries in hand, blonde hair shining golden in the sun, sun-kissed skin exposed to your wandering eyes, grin on pink lips; you couldn't imagine JJ Maybank hurting a fly.

"Trust me, I know." You'd said just as he knocked on the door, shooting you one last toothy grin before the door was opened and he was pulled into a conversation with the woman who'd answered it, talking about all things from the weather to the next semester at school. You watched him all the while, smile growing on your lips without your knowledge as you took him in, seemingly in his element as he sweet-talked the middle-aged woman inside the house. When he turned to you suddenly, you startled, broken from your thoughts and caught red-handed staring at him like some freak. He grinned, tongue wetting his pink lips at the same time you internally groaned.

"I was just saying, the groceries," he trailed off as he pointed to the bags in your hands in which you'd forgotten were even there. You let out an 'oh' as you quickly passed the groceries over to the waiting woman, shooting her an apologetic smile as she looked at you knowingly. JJ nodded his head in your direction, speaking once more to the woman, "New guys, huh?"

You glared at him as the woman laughed, perfectly manicured hand reaching beside her and grabbing hold of her purse, pulling a note out with her slender fingers. She held the note out to JJ, who immediately tried to turn it down, insisting there was no need, but the woman was unrelenting - sending a pointed look your way as she told him, "For your troubles, sweetie."

JJ picked the note from her hands, a gracious smile being sent to her as he nodded. "It's been a long day," he sighed heavily and your jaw almost dropped as you resisted the urge to reach out and slap his arm. What a fucker. "Thank you very much, Mrs. Ramirez. I really appreciate it."

The woman, Mrs. Ramirez, as you learned, nodded and waved a hand. "No bother, sweetie," she told him before turning her eyes back to you. You forced a smile as she simply eyed you up and down, before sending an obviously forced one of her own. "And thank you." She said curtly, and you were ready to give her a piece of your mind before JJ was grabbing your arm and dragging you in the direction of where you'd come from, shouting one last thank you over his shoulder as he walked you back towards the boat.

It was when you were a safe distance away that you shook your arm from his hold only to slap him gently on his own as you glowered, glare smouldering as he laughed, throwing his head back as he stumbled beside you.

"You're such an ass," you huffed as you tried to ignore his chuckling, speeding your steps. "I mean, she literally just tipped you a hundred dollars for showing up and smiling, I'm sure if I had a third leg down there I would have got the same treatment too."

"Are you jealous?" JJ asked, having to jog slightly to keep up your hurried pace. His smile was huge and infectious, and you made a point not to meet his stare when he landed next to you in fear of breaking your fake annoyed stance. "Maybe if you weren't too busy checking me out then you could have talked to her, and y'know, make a small fortune yourself."

You scoffed, whirling around and halting him in place. He almost stumbled into you, and you stepped back when his hands landed on your arms to steady himself, shaking his grip off almost immediately. "I wasn't checking you out," you told him, matter of fact.

JJ grinned and ran a hand through his hair as he replied, "Sure you were," he shrugged. You crossed your arms over your chest and glared, biting down on your tongue as you resisted your own smile as he motioned to his body from head to toe. "Not that I can blame you, I mean look at me."

"I've looked, JJ," your voice was low when you said it, a knowing tone to your words. "I've looked, and I've seen it all, in case you forgot."

A low chuckle slipped past his lips. "How could I ever forget?" He asked rhetorically, tongue darting out to wet his chapped lips as you tried not to follow the action with your eyes, and failed, miserably. "Trust me, that image is forever dented in my brain. I think of it, sometimes. Just randomly."

You rolled your eyes. And he's back, _you thought. _He never left, a voice at the back of your head piped up. You ignored them both. "C'mon," you said, already turning on your heel and starting off in the direction of where Pope had docked the boat. "Let's go get these deliveries finished."

The pair of you said nothing more for the rest of the duration of the short walk back, and when the boat was in your sights JJ was off running, more than likely eager to show off his one hundred dollar tip to Pope, as you idled, watching his back as he ran. When you finally landed in the boat, it was silent. You immediately picked up on the tension, heavy in the small space, and shot JJ a confused glance when he looked back at you.

Slowly, you made your way towards where the two boys were up at the front of the boat, Pope situated at the wheel. The dark skinned boy was staring straight ahead, refusing to meet either yours or JJ's eyes. When you looked to the latter, he subtly shrugged a shoulder, letting you know that he had no clue himself what was going on with his best friend.

"Pope?" You questioned softly. "What's wrong?" When there was no answer, you shared another glance with JJ, his concern shining in his blue eyes. You tilted your head as you went to ask him again, but when you did, your eyes caught on to the colour crimson that was slowly streaming down the side of his face. You gasped and JJ startled, chest bumping your shoulder as he tugged the cap from Pope's head, revealing the injury near the top of his head.

"Jesus!" JJ exclaimed when he caught sight of the wound, Pope swatting at his hands that held his hat, pulling it back down once JJ had let go. "What happened?"

"Rafe and Topper jumped me," Pope's voice was slightly wobbly as he informed you both, a tear sliding down his cheek as he recounted, "They said no Pogues on their side of the island."

Your blood began to boil just as JJ demanded, "What are you gonna do?" His own jaw clenched in anger as he looked at his best friend, beaten and bruised in front of him from the hands of some entitled selfish pricks that thought they were better than everyone because they had more money in their pockets. Rafe Cameron was a name that never failed to make you queasy at just the mention of it, and his little gang of followers including Topper Thorton were just as unbearable.

"I have something in mind." Pope spoke, voice and stance determined. And something he did, as he drove to Topper's new boat - and promptly swam over and removed the plug from it, causing the new model to sink into the water as you and JJ watched from Heyward's boat, keeping an eye out for anyone that may have spotted your trio.

And though it was bad, and you knew you probably shouldn't have taken part in such an activity, nor prompted Pope to either; you couldn't deny the rush it gave you as you watched Topper Thorton's boat begin to sink, and maybe it was the fact that you knew that Topper was a Grade A Asshole and deserved it, or maybe it was Pope's own unsure but excitable adrenaline that mixed with your own, or maybe it was just the fact that JJ wrapped his arm around your shoulder without a care in the world as he shouted his support to his friend, squeezing you to his side almost unknowingly, like it was some kind of instinct.

You thought, yeah, it probably was, as you immediately felt the loss of it when he moved to grab Pope in a hug. And then you thought, well shit.

There was a mutual share of disappointment when the gang had found just about absolutely nothing when you'd taken Pope's fathers boat out the next morning, drone ready and in hand to go hunt for the gold, where John B Routledge had marked down on the map it having been.

Granted, the Royal Merchant was there. It was just missing the one thing they were after - the gold was nowhere in sight, and the journey had been a complete waste of time. You thought it to be too good to be true, of course it had to be. Four hundred million in gold and you were expected to find it? There was no way, you thought bitterly as JJ steered the gang back to land, not one of you daring to speak as the disappointment crashed over you all in huge waves.

You'd departed with the guys not long after that, after promising Kie that you would accompany her to the annual summer movie night, making your way towards home. The bitter frustration ate away at your insides, you were mad, angry - fucking infuriated, each step the gang got closer to finding the gold, it was as if someone was stood in your path and shoving you all back another ten.

Had your dad really died for this? This seemingly never-ending hunt for promised gold that, for all you knew, could be complete and utter bullshit. You didn't understand it at first, when the pieces began to slot together, but it was like every time the chase got harder it made you want it even more; and then you understood your fathers fascination and Big John Routledge's obsession. This gold meant everything to you and the gang, and you knew, John B especially, would never give up on this chase.

"Hey, sweetheart," your mother called when you entered the house. The front door was still broken, only the screen in place, and was leaning against the wall as you maneuvered past it. Lana was sat at the couch, and when you walked in she'd shoved a box away from her, the lid laying haphazardly over the top. "I wasn't expecting you home so early."

You shot her a small and forced smile, shuffling your bag from your shoulder and onto the floor, landing with a soft thud. "Hey mom," you greeted back, noting her teary eyes and flushed cheeks. "What're you doing?"

When you arrived at the back of the couch, looking over her shoulder, you immediately recognised the box - Family Photos! _written atop _the cardboard.

"I was just looking through some old pictures," she told you, sniffling as she attempted to smile at you. "Just wanted to see his face again."

You nodded, your throat tightening at the mention of your dad. Reaching a hand up and wiping away her tears, she looked at you questioning, "Where have you been?"

"Just out," you said, bluntly and unconvincing. "Doing a few jobs here and there, y'know. Nothing exciting."

Lana hummed, quirking an eyebrow at you. "Mr. Phelps told me that he seen you with that Maybank kid the other day," she informed, your face falling for a millisecond as her words sunk in. She looked at you, tear-stained face and serious gaze, lips pulled to a thin line. "I told you to stay from those guys, Y/N."

"I was helping him deliver groceries, mom," you deadpanned - which wasn't exactly a lie, if that's when Mr. Phelps had spotted you. Most of your time spent with the gang was mainly off the land and away from prying eyes, whether that be on a boat or the Chateau, so you knew that was the safest bet of when you'd been spotted. "For Heyward's. It's not like I'm hanging out with him on purpose."

Lie, lie, lie. It was becoming alarmingly easy to lie straight through your teeth, and to your mother nonetheless, but you couldn't dare tell her anything, and why should you, when she hadn't told you anything? It took two to Tango, you thought.

"I just don't want you getting hurt," your mother reminded, and you let out a sigh as you nodded, faked closed-mouth smile on your lips. "I'm serious, Y/N, please just be careful out there."

"Always am," you promised (bull-fucking-shit). You turned on your heel, heading towards your room as you called over your shoulder, "I got invited out tonight, by the way. To the movie thing on the North Side. Is it alright if I go, please?"

You waited at your door, hearing your mother sigh from the couch. "Yes, you can go." You smiled, this one more real than all the rest, and thanked her gently. She didn't look back at you though, and the familiar unspoken tension was back with vengeance. You couldn't wait to get out of it.

The movie night was a welcome distraction from your frustrations with the treasure hunt, the haunting memories of your dad, and the tension with your mom. It was only you, Kie, Pope and JJ that attended - John B having seemingly disappeared for the day, none of the gang having heard from him. You'd managed to leave the house with relatively no questioning from your mom, and met JJ a little way down the block.

("Woah, keep two feet away from me please," you'd joked, halting in your tracks as you spotted him standing there. He'd furrowed his brows at you, frown etched on his face. "My cover's been blown, everyone knows about us!

He just looked even more confused, eyes squinting down at you as you raised a hand and layed it across your forehead dramatically. "What'd you mean?" He questioned, eyes darting around, seemingly searching for answers in the air around you both. "What, do people know we sleep together or something?"

You'd rolled your eyes, shoving him gently when you were close enough, beginning to walk away. "No, you doof," you chuckled. "Mr. Phelps ratted me out to my mom, told her that he saw us together the other day. I had to tell her that we were just delivering groceries for Pope's dad."

"Ah," JJ nodded, shooting you a mischievous grin. "We better go into hiding then, I'm thinking... log cabin in the mountains, all fur sheets and deer heads on the walls, ooh a hot tub too."

You laughed, "Trying to whisk me away there, Maybank?"

You were joking, but his eyes were surprisingly serious as he looked at you. "Always, Grubbs.")

The field was already packed full of people by the time the four of you arrived, groups of people scattered around, idle chatter filling the air. It was being held on the Kook side of the island, and your eyes swooped over the people, most of them being Kook's themselves, expensive clothing and an aura that just screamed, I'm better than you. It made you feel uneasy, but you tried not to think about it as Kiara led you through the crowds.

"I'm so glad they're still doing this," she tells you all, sighing happily. The faces of the guys revealed they were not nearly as happy to be there as she was, while you were simply just glad to be out of your house once again. "Keep calm, carry on. Back to normal, OBX life, y'know?" She stopped once she found a decent spot, turning to the three of you. "Aren't you guys glad I made you come?"

"Ecstatic." Pope deadpanned, sarcastic lull to his tone.

"My couch was pretty comfy." JJ piped up.

"I'm just happy to be out the house, I guess." You said.

You were aware why the guys were so uncertain about being there; it wasn't so long ago that Pope was sinking Topper Thorton's boat, you and JJ accompanying, and now you were all on his side of the island. Not only that, but you knew that if Topper was to discover that it was Pope who'd done his boat in, it wouldn't just be Topper that confronted him - it would be the full Happy Days Gang. Nothing was ever a fair game when it came to Kooks.

Kiara excused herself to go buy soda's from the conession stand, and you shifted as you seated yourself on the blanket you'd bought, having opted out of bringing a chair. You sat in front of JJ, his legs touching your back.

"What's wrong with you guys?" You turned your head when Pope and JJ began to whisper, the former's panicked eyes landing on you as you frowned at the pair.

"Topper and Rafe are on my ass," Pope revealed. "They know I sunk Topper's boat."

You sighed heavily, muttering a shit as JJ grabbed his friend by the arm, focusing his attention towards him. "They can't prove it, okay. Just deny, deny, deny."

Pope nodded along, muttering along with him as you watched the pair, before your eyes moved to Kie that arrived back, her eyes narrowing as she seated herself beside Pope. "Just saw Rafe," she informed, your blood running cold. You could practically feel JJ tense from behind you. "He said, and I quote, 'Tell your boy we know what he did'. What is that?"

"Um, where is he?" JJ questioned, his tone of voice revealing his hidden anxiety.

"Right there." Kiara nodded her head, right in the direction of where Rafe Cameron and his goons sat, as you, Pope and JJ whipped around, Pope practically turning his full body in their direction. You groaned as JJ desperately urged him to turn back round, and away from their taunting eyes.

"The whole death squad!" Pope exclaimed, anxiety riding off of him in waves.

"Don't stare, bro," JJ urged, hand wrapping around Pope's shoulders. You tuned out the rest of the blonde's words as he informed you all that he'd be coming out swinging if they were to corner him, and you felt dread build as you heard his last words. "If that doesn't work, I got this right here." He patted his bag.

"JJ, please tell me you did not bring a gun here," Kie practically begged. "JJ, there are kids!"

You focused your attention straight ahead of you as the guys continued to argue; Pope simply telling Kie that it might go down to her line of questioning, her brown eyes darting back and forth between you all. You refused to meet her eyes, however, and were glad when the large screen ahead of you suddenly lit up. "Oh, look," you exclaimed, laughing nervously. "The movie's starting."

And it was left at that - JJ whispering deny, deny, deny to Pope once more before you all turned your attention to the screen, trying to block out the intruding thoughts of having the knowledge that the gang of Kooks were staring you down, awaiting your next move like a predator would its pray.

All was going fine - the movie was good, everyone's attention on the black and white screen. You tried not to think about Rafe and Topper, or the gold or your dad, and definitely not the feel of JJ's legs either side of you, trapping you into his hold. You let yourself believe that everything would be okay, and then Pope had revealed he needed a piss, and everything had gone to shit.

JJ had accompanied him, and the two had set off behind the screen, hidden away from Rafe's watchful eyes. They hadn't done a good enough job to be discreet though, and you immediately took notice of Rafe, Topper and Kelce making their way towards the opposite side of the screen. You swore, catching Kie's attention as she questioned, "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"Looks like that piss break just got a lot more complicated," you said, and realisation dawned on her face. It didn't take the pair of you long to locate the guys, all in various forms of fighting, as you and Kie screamed at them to stop. You grabbed Rafe's arm mid-swing, his fist raised and ready to send a hit to JJ's face from where Kelce had hold of him. "Stop it, you dick!"

You let out a scream as you were sent flying back from his shove, Rafe's blue eyes wild and crazed as he glared down at you. "Stay out of this, Grubbs!" He barked, and without a moments hesitation sent a fist hurling towards JJ's cheek.

Kiara had jumped on Topper's back from the small distance away from you, and you took a moment to ready yourself before hurtling towards Rafe from your crouched position, tackling him to the ground from his knees, effectively stopping his blows. He seemed stunned for a second, staring dazed up at you before he promptly threw you off of him, shoving you to the ground without a care. "Don't fucking touch me," he growled down at you, and you groaned slightly as the wind was knocked from you.

You heard JJ from somewhere above you, shouting insults at Rafe and repeating your name over and over. You lifted yourself from the ground just as Topper puts Pope in a headlock, his tight grip causing the dark skinned boys breath to leave him in choked gasps. You shoved at Rafe's back once more, sending him stumbling forward before he whipped around, hand reaching out and grabbing you by the face, tugging you so you stood nose-to-nose with him.

"I said," he ground out darkly, eyes boring into yours. "Don't fucking touch me."

You were beginning to fear what would come next before a sudden glow caught your eye from the side, the movie screen lighting up in harsh flames. Rafe dropped you, your hands moving to rub over the imprint he'd left, as you looked towards where Kie stood, JJ lighter in hand. Screams of terror echoed from the other side, as people began to flee, and it didn't take long for the three Kooks on your side to follow, sprinting quickly from the scene. Fucking cowards, you thought.

JJ's hands were on you before you could even blink, eyes earnest and worried as they looked over you, your cheeks red from the earlier grip Rafe had on you. "You good?" He asked you, slightly out of breath. You nodded, repeating the question to him. He smiled lightly. "Yeah, yeah. I'm good."

The night had ended promptly there, Kie dropping you off at your respected houses. You'd bid them all a good night, and as quietly as possible made your way into your home, not wanting your mother to see the marks imprinted on your face from Rafe's fingers. Luckily, she'd already been in bed, and it didn't take long for you to crawl into yours, thoughts of the day and a certain blonde running through your mind.

The next morning you'd met the gang (save for John B, who was still seemingly missing) at the Heyward's store; your morning had been spent desperately trying to hide the red marks that Rafe's fingers had left from your mom before she could notice and ground you in your room for the rest of your life. It had a been a success for the most part, and she asked no questions as you left the house, though you took note of her uncertain expression as you bid your goodbyes.

"Have you heard from John B?" You asked Kiara who was working closest to you. You had realised the brunette boy was missing from the group upon your arrival, and you couldn't help the worries in your mind at where he could be or what could have happened to him.

"No, nothing. Have you?" She returned the question, brown eyes meeting yours as you shook your head no, a short sigh falling from her lips. "Neither have the guys. What're you thinking?" Kiara eyed you, gaze suddenly sullen. "Do you think something's happened?"

"I don't know, Kie," you told her because honestly, you didn't. John B had a target on his back, that much was for sure. Son of Big John, once owner of the proclaimed death compass. Your mind thought back to the two men that had raised your home, and chased the guys on more than one occasion, and you couldn't help but think the worst. "I'm sure he's fine, though."

Kiara nodded, though she looked anything but sure. "Yeah, you're probably right." The pair of you continued on with your respected work, JJ's and Pope's voice trailing from somewhere in the store as they talked. "You're working Midsummers, right?"

You groaned, nodding. Kiara laughed at your sour expression. "Oh yeah, second year running. To be honest, I'm surprised they let me work it after last year, my customer service must be better than my right hand hook," you joked, chuckle escaping your lips as you thought back to the Midsummer's party the year before. Your dad had gotten you the gig, because he was a weasel like that - always talking people into getting what he wanted, and what he wanted was the gas bill to be paid, and his face just didn't fit the portfolio to be serving Kook's their drinks at their fancy party, and so it had left left to you to do just that.

The night had ended with Dean Kipp on his ass after his hand had fallen on your ass, and you'd been let off with a warning as the guy clutched his bloody nose and called you everything ranging from psycho bitch to slutty pogue. Your surprise was immense when you were offered a job again this year, and a large amount of the reason you'd said yes was just so you could see the look on his face when he saw you.

"He totally deserved that," Kiara remarked, grinning. You smiled back, the pair of you sharing a laugh as you returned to your work.

For a second, you let your worries wash away as you were pulled into a conversation with the gang, your spirts high for the first time in a while. You were happy, you realised. What had started off as being the worst period of your life was slowly turning into the best, the gang and treasure hunt a blessing in disguise. The four of you shared laughs and joked back and forth as you worked, and you found yourself to be perfectly content.

All that came crashing down when Pope's father entered the shop, police officer trailing behind him. "Hey, Pope! There's someone here to see you."

You stopped dead-on, the rest of the gang halting in their movements as you all stared towards the officer you recognised as Shoupe. "Evening, officer." Pope greeted, gulping.

"I have an arrear warrant for felony destruction of property," Deputy Shoupe approached your group, handing the said warrant to Pope's dad. From beside you, JJ tensed, and when you turned to look at him, his blue eyes glanced down at you, freshly beaten face pulled into an anxious grimace as his jaw clenched. Shoupe had gotten remarkably closer, hands reaching for the handcuffs placed on his belt. "Hands where I can see 'em."

Pope glanced desperately towards JJ, who shook his head quickly, his words, though unspoken, clear as day. Deny, deny, deny. But denying wasn't going to get Pope out of handcuffs, you decided as you stepped forward, tone pleading as you demanded, "Stop, you can't just do this!"

"Out of my way please, Miss Grubbs," Shoupe dismissed you, sounding almost bored as he shoved past you, beginning to handcuff Pope who can do nothing but allow it to happen, his anxious eyes focusing on one spot as reality began to sink in.

"What did he do, Shoupe?" Mr. Heyward questioned in disbelief, watching as his son was getting arrested in front of his very eyes.

"Take a look at the warrant," the cop said simply as he begun to tug Pope out of the store.

It was chaos. Everyone was shouting, demanding answers and hurling insults. JJ is screaming something about somebody paying him, Kiara is in your ear asking what the hell was going on, Mr. Heyward is hurtling questions towards both his son and Shoupe. Passbyers stared at the scene, whispering to each other as they walked by or stopped to watch. Everything blurred together, and you could do nothing but watch the scene unfold in front of you.

Those fucking assholes, you thought. Topper Thorton came to mind, tan skin and bleached ends, million dollar smile and designer clothes. You remembered his wild gaze as he held Pope in a headlock the night before, close to almost killing him. And yet he was off somewhere doing god knows what, probably shopping for a new boat to replace the one he'd lost, not that he probably cared all that much about it in the first place. Rafe Cameron's eyes entered your mind next, and you felt a shudder run through you as you remembered them boring into yours as he held your face frighteningly tight and close to his own.

JJ's voice was suddenly breaking through your stream of thoughts - "It wasn't him!" He was calling out, eyes directed on Shoupe who paused and turned toward him, Pope's face disbelieving from behind him. "It was me."

It sunk in then what JJ was trying to do, and you whirled around from his left, quickly shaking your head as you muttered, "JJ." He ignored you however, and stepped forward towards where the officer was standing, Pope still in his arms.

"He tried to talk me out of it," JJ continued. "But I was mad because he had just been beaten up, I was sick of those assholes from Figure Eight that I lost my shit." He was stood directly in front of Shoupe, almost boot-to-boot. You couldn't see his face from where you were, and you were almost thankful for the fact as you heard him direct his words to Pope, "I can't let you take the fall for what I did. You've got too much to lose."

"JJ, what are you doing?" Pope demanded. His face was confused, just as much in shock as the rest of you. For a second, his eyes leave JJ's and land on yours, a shaky breath leaving your lips as his eyes were practically pleading.

"I'm telling the truth, for once in my goddamn life, I'm gonna tell the truth," JJ announced loudly. "I took his old man's boat, too."

"What the hell?" Mr. Heyward questioned, though nobody paid him any mind. Your gaze was too focused on the unfolding scene of JJ Maybank taking the fall for something he most definitely do, and you could do nothing but watch it happen.

Your heart finally shattered when JJ's last words entered your ears, "He's a good kid. You know where I'm from."

He only looked back once as he was put into the handcuffs that previously held Pope, and that wasn't until he was shoved in the back of the police car and the door was slammed behind him. You walked closer towards it, hand on Pope's back as he watched his best friend get arrested for something he'd done, and you both knew it. When JJ glanced up and out of the window, bruised face clear behind the glass, his sea blue eyes caught yours and then he smiled.

The fucker.

You could only watch helplessly as the police car was driven away and out of sight, Pope throwing his cap down in a fit of anger as he stormed off, his dad calling after him, Kie landing to your right. The dark haired girl wrapped an arm around your shoulders, tugging you to her side gently.

"JJ'll be alright," she told you, voice confident though her face read anything but as she glanced in the direction the car had been driven off. "He always is."

But what, a voice in the back in your head nagged at you, if this time he wasn't?

And then it dawned on you: you actually really, generally, sincerely and whole-heartedly cared about JJ Maybank.

(And the thought scared you more than you would ever like to admit.)

& to the lovely people that asked to be tagged in this, love you all x @ponyboys-sunsets @mysticsthinking @danicarosaline

[twst-kumi]

Lacrimosa

Warning : Mention of kidnapping, blood, abuse and death

H/c : hair color

E/c : eyes colors

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taken away from the sea they used to live in, Jade and Floyd looked at their kidnappeur. They young tail hit violently the floor while they growl trying to look menacing. A fishing wire tied around there bodies, they couldn’t do much. Soon enough, they were taken to a strange room completly white. 

“_No.... Let us go....”

The two young child started to whimper and wail as a group of human came nears them. Wearing what looked like a long white coat, they started doing whatever “test” they wanted. From a blood sample to a flesh sample to unknow product and potion. At some point, the two merfolk children saw their tails plit in two legs. Anything that reminded them of their origin suddently start to fade. The tail, the fins, everything. Now they looked like two human childs. Instinctively, and in order to protect them, they waited for the kidnapper to lower their guard. Now that they have legs, they could escape on dry land, Right?  So they waited. Actually it’s was Jade who planned their escape, and one night after they killed one of the guard, they escaped. Floyd and Jade runned as fast as their small legs allowed them. Once they were far enough, they tried to return in the see, but unfortunately they couldn't. They bodies didn't return to their original forms. Horror on their face, their understood that they were to survive as a human for now.

___________________

As day pass, the twins learned to survive in the road. They fighted and robbed to eat something. And sometimes, they couldn't find anything... Jade was laying on a pile of trash with his twins, they health were becoming worse. Floyd even started to loose consciousness. The rain pouring on them didn't help. If he don't find a way to save his twin then he will die, and he didn't want that.

"_F... Floyd..."

Suddenly, he did not feel the rain anymore. He looked up to see an umbrella covering him and his brother. He looked up and saw a young girl, she was more or less the same age as them. She had glittering e/c eyes and a long beautiful h/c hair. From her dress Jade could see her noble upbringing. She studied them before smiling brightly.

"_Don't worry!! I will take care of you!!!

Jade wanted to say something but loosed his consciousness. When he woke up, he was in a bed, warm and clean. Floyd was still sleeping next to him. He could see that the bedroom was definitely for someone from the high class. Sitting quietly, he tried to recall what happened. He suddenly remembered the young girl. It's was her who took them here right? Jade let a small laugh. It's was quiet ironic. All the adult human acted like they didn't exist and the beggars sometime beats them up for their food, but it was a small, young girl who reached at them.

"_Jade...

Hearing his twin's voice, he turn his head and smile at it. He was happy to see Floyd in a better health.

"_Thank god your better!!

_Where are we?

_I don't know...

Suddenly, they heard a little creak from the door. Turning their heads to the sound, the youngs eels saw a small h/c head with two big e/c eyes shining with curiosity. Noticing that they were awake and seemed to know that she was here, she giggled and opened the door wider. Revealing a beautiful big smile, she runned at them before jumping on the bed.

"_So you two are awake! You guys sleeped for a veryyyyy long time! I thought you were dead!"

She let another small laugh before patting their head. Taken a back by the sudden show of affection, the twins just froze unable to do anything. Then a maid rushed in the room to get the young girl out of the bed.

"_My god!! Lady s/o, this isn't proper!! You shouldn't climb the bed of a man like that!!!

_No one is here, it's alright Martha.

S/o brushed her nanny's concern off and turned her attention to the twins. Jade could see the disgusted look on the woman's face. She obviously see them as trash unlike her young mistress who took them in.

"_You seem to be a better now!! Are you hungry?

Before one of them could speak, their stomach did it for them first. It's been days since the last time they ate something. They both blush embarrassed by the moment before the girl just got out of bed. A confident smile and her hand on her hips, she stood in front of them trying to look strong.

"_Okey, let's eat!!!

The little h/c girl took their hand and dragged them into the dining room. Beyond famished, they grabbed and stuffed anything they could eat. Once they couldn't eat anymore, they looked at the young lady and thank her. S/o laughed before claiming that from now on, she will take care of them. Her eyes shined with confident and pride, she weren't going to back down on what she said. The twins could see and feel her intentions, she truly just wanted to protect them. Ever since they found themselves on this cursed land, no one truly tried to help them. Smiling at their tiny savior, they accepted when the nanny cut in.

"_Goodness my Lady, those... Stray thing can't stay here!!

_But... Why?? I already promised them...

_Well they can stay as servant... This is still a way of taking care of them.....

_Oh... Okey....

S/o looked dejected when she heard that they couldn't stay. But if they could work here then they could have a place to sleep and eat like the other servants.

Floyd and Jade didn't talk much but they could see the displeased look the old woman give them. It's was obvious that the nanny didn't like them. She even gone as far to call them "stray thing". Too low to be considered human but not completely to be seen as animals.

"_Since Martha said you have to work, I guess you will have to work then...

They glanced to Martha who threw them a disgusted look. That woman definitely wanted them gone, if not dead.

_______________________

True to her promise, s/o took care of them. Aside for their chores, they didn't have to worry for a shelter or food anymore. Thanks to the young pretty lady, they got three meal, decent outfit and a warm bed. And since their were around the age of the young lady, they also became her playmate. They even hear the master and the madam talking about making them her personal servant. The three childs fastly became inseparable and the twins showed a lot of talent. Jade was very intelligent and quick witted, he was also a very polite child. On the opposite, Floyd was more energetic and bright, he was also very athletic and good for for fighting. The two together, they acted like the best protection for the little girl. In fact, they were both very attached to her. S/o was they first and only light ever since they came in the dry land. They became protective of her. In fact they fell in love with her little by little. The more she showed those beautiful smiles to them, the more they didn't want other people to see it. And then one day thing became a little different. While the three were playing near a lake, S/o fell in the water. Panicked, they jumped to save her but this time something strange happened. Their ears and some part of their skins returned to their merman appearance. They couldn't help but fear her reaction.

"_Jade...? Floyd...?

They flinched at their names. What is she going to do? Will she scream? They felt like it was the end of their life together. Tightly, they closed their eyes waiting for her hurtful word to come.

"_So... So cooool!!

_Um... Could you keep it a secret my Lady.

_Of course I can!!! Hehe! So you two are... Like that story right? A... Um... Mermaid!!!

_That mean angelfish!!! We are men!!!! So it's should be merman.

_But the right name are merfolk lady S/o.

_Hehe! So cool!!

At this moment, they love for her escalated greatly. She was so pure. They sweared to protect her against anything.

"_But don't you guys have a home in the sea?

_We do

_Oh... I suppose you two want to return there... I too would be sad to be away from home for too long...

_We don't want to... Floyd and I want to stay we you... Forever...

_Even death can't do us apart angelfish

Laughing and hugging them tightly, she accepted their words without understanding the meaning.

"_Then let's live near the sea, so you two can go back and forth there.

But little did they know, death would soon hit them. It's was late in the night, when a scream distorted the peaceful silence of the manor. Flame engulfed everything around them. Instinctively, the twins hurried to Rose bedrooms. Seeing them, the little girl clinged to them desperately. They then took her hand and start to run toward the outside.

"_We're going to get out of there! And then we will live near the sea like promised!!!

Once they were outside, they cheered for their successful escape but they were only two voice... Looking around them S/o wasn't there. Ready to return in the burning manor, Floyd saw the young girl unconscious laying among the debris before the house collapse. Letting a desperate scream, they tried to reach her but it was to late. They couldn't do anything but whatch their once source of joy burn. Keep that sight and memories in their heart forever, they return to the sea.

_____________

Many years later.

"_Azuul~! I brought you some littles guppys~! They broke their contract~! Haha~

_Ah Floyd, that was quite fast...

_It's was fun~~

After the tragic lost of their first and probably only love, they returned to the coral sea. They tried to act like everything were alright and met the octopus like merman. Since then the three of them stayed together. When they became older, the three of them returned on the land. And in no time, they formed a powerful network on the black market. They were now on part with other illegal organizations. The great seven, that how was people named that groups of powerfuls organizations.

"_Please, if you give me just a little more time then I can get all the money!

_Nu-uh! The time is the time! Unless you found something to reimburse what you own the octavinelle you will have to pay with your life...

_AH... A.. a girl! We adopted a girl a long time ago, she is quite the beauty... She should sell well no?

_Oh a girl?

_Yes, she was amnesiac so we took her in... She should be at home right n-

Before he could finish, they hear some ruckus outside the door. They could hear a woman's voice clearly. Strangely, the voice made Floyd and Jade shudder from excitement and a bit of melancholy. They felt so familiar with it, but it's was still a bit different.

"_Please spare my father!!

A beautiful woman burst in the room. She was indeed a beauty. Her long h/c hair was tied in a messy bun and her lamb like e/c eyes shone with an enchanting light in them. Even after so many years, the twins could recognize her. It's was her. It's felt like the god didn't forget them and gave their angel back.

"_S/o.../Angelfish...

Jumping a little scared, S/o looked at the twins.

"_Hum... Yes? W... Wh... Who may you be?

_It's us, do you remember? We were always together when we were tiny~ I reallyyyy missed you Angelfish!!!

_I'm sorry... I've lost my memory nine years ago...

_Ah it's must be because of the fire at that time.

S/o stiffened a little under they grasp. True she felt a familiar feeling around them but she couldn't return the affection. But Floyd didn't mind it. She was there, this was more important.

"_Oya, Floyd you will make her feel uncomfortable. Her memory is still missing after all.

He came behind her, caging her between him and his brother. Their bodies were firmly pressed against her causing her to blush.

"_But worry not! Even if you don't remember, we will keep the vow and promise we did at that time ....

_ we will protect you~

_and take care of you...

_and even death can't do us apart my sweet S/o / my little Angelfish. We will be together... Forever.