#they LOVE going to latino clubs and get drunk

[crimsonlovebartylus]

Chilean Regulus x Argentinian Barty, they would 100% while drunk fuck it up on the dance floor to this song. Like full on perreo (twerking?) like Barty would be holding onto Regulus hips as they dance very close both like going down to the floor.

the others: this is basically dry sex.

[groenendaelfic]

Verbier and Sex Workers

aka the Twinks? Bears? Asians? Latinos? line is not cute (says I)

One thing I love so much about this fandom is that we can all watch the same show on repeat, and still have completely different and equally valid interpretations of canon.

Case in point my recent fic about Erik’s death not being an accident. I never for a single second considered that, and I am still firmly team Erik likes being Crown Prince and is a bit of a fuckboy, but then I saw and eyeopening post here on Tumblr and rewatched the scenes and now I can see where they’re coming from even if I don’t agree? And that is great.

Something similar happened after I posted my most recent chapter of As Long as We Have Each Other (yes it’s back!) featuring jealous!Simon and talks of Verbier, after which quite a few lovely, lovely commenters pointed out that they never considered my interpretation of the Verbier talk before, and so I thought I might share a bit more about it here for those interested.

Anyway, in the show the scene starts with Wille asking Nils about dating advice, to which Nils replies that Wille is overthinking things followed by an invitation to come to Verbier with him where he'll throw some great parties.

So well so good.

Then however comes the (in)famous What are you into? Twinks? Bears? Asians? Latinos? line and a reassurance that they'll be discreet.

That's not Nils asking Wille if he should try and hook him up with one of his twink, bear, Asian or Latino friends so that he can date one of them instead.

That's him telling Wille that no matter what he's into, it can be arranged, without bringing up some hardcore stuff which might scare him away.

Nils doesn't actually think Wille might be into bears, he's just being, hey, you want a twinky Latino? You can get that in Switzerland, but also any other type of guy you might desire and they'll do whatever you want without causing problems or a scandal.

Sure Nils is going to invite other wealthy, closeted friends around his age to hang out and bond with, not unlike a secret club. In fact he very much wants Wille to start hanging with someone that's his league, but they aren't going to hook up with each other, nor would they be looking for a relationship or love, as that would only complicate things, hence Nils going all You're thinking too much. Stop making it difficult. when Wille brings up serious relationships.

something something sexualizing queer relationships something something internalized homophobia

I do think he wants Wille to be as happy as can be and means well, but he also can't see any of them breaking the status quo. His advice is settle down with a suitable girl if you really must, and bang prostitutes abroad who've signed an NDA and know better than to ever blab to satisfy your sexual needs. That's how it's always been done and that's how it'll always be, and anything else will only cause problems.

Also hiring sex workers in Switzerland is very easy and uncomplicated, be it at a brothel, as an escort or for a private party, the only hindrance being cost, but it's not like that's a factor here.

But Wille is sixteen!

Well yeah, but they'd be going to Switzerland, where the age of consent is sixteen. (So in fact was the age of prostitution until about ten years ago, but they thankfully raised that to eighteen, and while there was talk of raising the age for hiring sex workers a few years ago, as far as I know nothing much ever came of it.)

So yeah, Nils wouldn't be doing anything illegal if he invited a sixteen year old to one of his sex parties in Verbier and let him get drunk as long as Wille stuck to beer or wine or something similar because the drinking age is sixteen as well (18 for harder stuff).

I don't blame anyone who wants to see their talk differently, but I don't think I'll ever be able to see it as anything other than sad (for Nils) and horrifying (for Wille being presented this as his only reasonable future).

Especially if you watch Wilhelm's expression there at the end?

Wille knows exactly what Nils is talking about.

He knows there'll be sex workers present if he goes to Verbier with Nils without Nils having to state that explicitly, because in their circles men having their sexual needs seen to by sex workers and mistresses is something that's always been the norm, no matter the nature of said needs, as long as they do so discretely.

Wille doesn't want that, he wants love and he wants Simon, but he also craves physical touch and intimacy, and if sex workers in Verbier are the only option? Well ... it's something he can consider if he wants to.

I'm not saying he would have gone. I'm pretty much undecided when it comes to that, or at least to him going that particular year, who knows about the future had he not gotten back together with Simon, I'm just saying he understood what was on offer and didn't immediately vehemently say no.

(he said I don't think Mom would be very pleased if it got out)

(Source: my grandmother is Swiss and I still have lots of relatives there I visit regularly, including a cousin who worked in a hotel in Davos for well over a decade and who was there for all the drama that ensued when 16yo sex workers were suddenly no longer legal bleurgh, also like, the news etc)

[venusflytrpp]

The way you felt - Lucrecia

There you sat on the same sofa that you found yourself on time and time again. The same looks of pity across the nightclub coming in from every direction. Every time you wonder how you got into this same position every Wednesday. Helplessly pining after a girl who barely gave you the time of day in favour of her ex who wanted nothing to with her romantically.

“Y/N!!” Hearing your name being repeatedly called from the entrance of the club you get up making your way through sweaty bodies, shoes slightly sticking to the floor due to spilled drinks by the wasted entitled students of las encinas. “Y/N” You increase your pace getting closer to the entrance locating the source of the voice to be Rebeka, Samuel and Nadia clearly blocked for entrance by a rather burly guard. 

“Right, there she is finally, y/n we were just telling this guy that we are meant to be on the list, but your little Mexican barbie must have forgotten” Rebeka enunciates nodding her head within the club. A blank expression takes homage on your face until you look across all three of them eyes pleading at you to go along with it.

Rolling your eyes, you look at the bouncer “Let them in.  Lucrecia forgot to get their names on the list. I texted her to remind her, but it seems she forgot again” As you see the acknowledgement cross his face you start moving back to where you were previously seated.

They pass the bouncer as he lets them in with Rebeka patting him on the cheek in a teasing manner. Moving to catch up to you she moves her arm to rest on your shoulder redirecting you to the bar. You look at her, eyebrows raising in question only to find a knowing smile on her face. As you arrive at the bar Rebeka calls out to the bartender. 

“6 shots please my good man, I’m tryna get this one tanked” She exclaims patting your back enthusiastically. Your eyes widen in a panic. She sees this laughing at you saying “no there not all for you babes, we get three each.” 

“How do you know I'm not already drunk?” A look from her is all it takes to get you to shut up and down all three of your shots as soon as they are given to you.

“So where is Latino Barbie? “She asks already assuming you'd know where she is due to your endless pining. You nod your head towards Lucrecia who's got herself all over Guzman as he’s looking in the direction of the bar to the girl who appeared next to you after taking off her hijab in the bathroom. 

“You know I'll never understand how you managed to find yourself at the beck and call of a girl like that. Any of the girls in this school would drop their pants for you with just a look yet you chose her.” Rebeka releases her arm from round your shoulder turning you in your seat to look away from Lu. “And before you go off with your pitiful speech on how you didn't choose to fall in love with her, I don't wanna hear it. The girl doesn't give you the time of day and when she does, she somehow manages to convince you that she's yours.” 

Your head drops down to your hands taking Rebe’s words to heart, knowing that everything she's saying is true. “I love her Rebe and every time that I do have her in my arms, I never want to let go because it seems like she finally feels the same way. I thought I was fine with having her once in a while but now it just really fucking hurts.” Tears escape the corner of your eyes rolling down your cheeks into your closed hands.

Rebe takes your shoulders into her hands pulling you forward into her embrace. Whispering comforting words into your ears, kissing your forehead as she goes to look you in the eyes. “Look y/n you can either confront her today and try and get out of this or we can get absolutely fucked and deal with it tomorrow”

A smile makes its way on your lips as you reply “the second option please” A nod from her confirms it as she turns back towards the bartender ordering more shots.

About 6 more shots and a few drinks later you found yourself on the dancefloor with Rebe grinding her back against you and some girl that you forgot the name of behind you. Your phone buzzes in your back pocket causing the unnamed girl to lean forward and shout over the music “Your phones going off!” Nodding your head in acknowledgement you take your phone out unlocking it only getting a glimpse of Lucrecia’s name across the screen before Rebeka leans backwards grabbing the phone and dropping it into her bra.

“Hey-” before you could even begin to protest, she shouts “No y/n, we’re getting fucked and dealing with this tomorrow remember?” This is all it takes to shut you up before you grab her hips and pull her further into you in agreement.

—

Waking up to a pounding in your head wasn't the morning that you'd expect when you got ready to leave for the club last night. But alas here you were laying upside down in Rebeka’s bed the other side vacant. 

Slowly rising, taking caution to moving too fast you get off the bed and make your way downstairs after checking you were decent in the mirror.  Getting to the bottom of the stairs, making your way into the kitchen you see Rebeka and her mum sitting at the kitchen counter with a jug of orange juice on the table as well as a big plate of toast and fruits. 

“Buenos días hermosa! “Rebeka’s mum calls out to you causing you to flinch as her voice seemed to make your hangover worse. “Oh, right sorry, it must have been a long night” She revaluates her words and volume, taking note of your flinch. 

(Good morning beautiful)

Raising an eyebrow towards Rebeka you ask the silent question getting the reply “no, no we didn't do anything last night” With your shoulders falling down in relief she retaliates “Hey! Don't look so relieved you’d be lucky to have me” Chuckling to yourself you reply.

“Of course, I would.” Looking down, patting down your pockets you ask “hey, have you seen my phone anywhere?” Extending her pointer finger to the corner of the table furthest from you, you see your phone.

“I don't know if you even want to open it, Latino barbie went a bit mad spamming your phone last night, it might have been after she saw us leave together but otherwise, I’m unsure” 

Eyes widening you unlock your phone finding about 20 messages from Lucrecia all asking about your whereabouts and why you left with Rebe. 

“Joder” you say locking your phone placing it face down on the table.

(Fuck)

—

Sunlight had vowed to be your sworn enemy this morning as you got out of the car, Rebeka getting out behind you and handing you a pair of sunglasses which you were grateful for.

“I told you you'd need that spare uniform you left at my place sometime” She straightens out her skirt looking you up and down in your maroon pants and matching school blazer, shirt and tie. 

Rolling your eyes, you move ahead of her making your way across the bridge into the school deeply dreading running into Lucrecia, as you knew if you did you probably wouldn't have the energy for your daily facade.

Walking into the classroom you immediately wanted to walk out but whilst turning to do so you bump into Samuel causing you to turn back into the classroom and sit next to Rebe rather than your normal seat behind Carla y Lucrecia.

(y-and)

“Aye, hermosa you're in my seat!” Valerio’s voice booms out from the front of the class and immediately you want to be swallowed by the ground beneath you. Lucrecia turning round in her seat, starts beckoning out for you but the headache that’s enslaved you causes you to ground yourself further into your arms. Rebeka’s hand moves upwards and downwards rubbing circles on your back. 

(Hermosa – beautiful)

“Right, Ms Lucrecia I’m going to need you to stop calling for y/n like she’s a dog and leave her alone, at least until break, Por favor. And Valerio you can just take y/n’s seat” Rebe calls forward addressing the stepsiblings

“Narco since when did you speak for y/n, I’m sure her mouth works” Lu retaliates ignoring the glare Rebe gives her focusing on you as your head peaks out and all you say is 

“Not today, Lu, Por favor” The positioning of your head causes the words to come out muffled, but she must’ve gotten the message as she turns around, scowl on her face.  A small tap on your back from Rebeka clearly commends you for the decision.

(Por favor – please)

—-

Class finishes and your first instinct is to grab your things and leave before Lu catches up, but it seems she had the same idea, as she’s up before you standing in the doorway, blocking you from leaving.

“And where do you think you’re going? “She questions looking you up and down, choosing to ignore the clear distasteful look you were sporting. 

“I have another class soon- “ 

“It’s in an hour, we both have the same class next.” She interrupts, as you hear Valerio chuckle from behind you. Informing you that everyone can hear the conversation. 

“Look, to be honest I’m tired, hungover and I really don’t want to deal with your shit right now. Can I just get past?” Clearly obnoxious to the current situation you hear Valerio laugh even louder making a few comments to Rebe which you're sure you’ll find out about later.

Lu takes a step back sending a dirty look to Valerio then grabbing at your wrist pulling you towards the girls bathrooms clearly uncaring if you run into people behind her. Due to this your left sprouting apologies left and right in response to the looks you get. Some even give you sympathy looks once they see who's pulling you.

Making her way into the bathroom with you in tow she kicks out anyone that was in there and locks the door behind you.

“What the fuck was that about Y/n?” She turns around giving you a look that makes you pray for the ground to open up and swallow you whole. 

“I could be asking you the exact same question Lucrecia, you don't seem to have any consideration for other people. Though that wasn't really a surprise to me” you say the last part under your breath, though by the look on her face you can tell she heard. 

“What’s gotten into you- “

“What’s gotten into me is that I’m finally done with your bullshit, you can’t use me as a failsafe every time that your advances on Guzman go wrong” Your head starts pounding a reminder of the hangover you were still nursing but regardless you keep going, “ The guy doesn’t want you and I did, I wanted you, I gave you everything you deserved Love, Comfort and more. Yet every time you were done with me you went right back to him. I knew this yet it took someone else saying it for me to finally get it in my head.”

Her face drops at your use of the past tense 

“Did…” she asks “Did?” she asks again anger rising in her voice as she get louder “Is this about Narco… did you fuck her!”

“Wait, what… did you listen to a word I just said, it’s you, you’re the issue-”

“You still haven’t denied it” Your head tilts in question “After the party last night, did you fuck Rebeka?”

Your brows raise in disbelief at the accusation, but you decide to keep her guessing, avoiding the question again “Can you hear me, Lucrecia? The issue isn’t with who I’m fucking or who I’m not fucking it’s about how you’re messing with me, you know how I feel and yet you can’t give me a straight answer.”

“Feelings were never involved in this, I thought you knew that?”

You feel your heart break at this, looking her in the eyes trying to find the lie in her words but all you see is her looking back at you with a sure look on her face. You take a step back approaching the door, unlocking it.

“Ok, cool… Don’t contact me please, I hope you're happy, But I guess you won't be until you realise that it's never gonna be with Guzman.” 

Getting out of the bathroom, tears gathering in the corners of your eyes, you make your way to your previous classroom. Entering the room, you see everyone conversing and get quieter seeing you, clearly indicating they were talking about what was going on between you and Lucrecia. Despite this you walk up to Rebe mid conversation with Samuel and tap her on the shoulder. 

As if recognising the tears threatening to fall, she goes to ask you how it went but you interrupt 

“Can we go back to yours?” you ask quietly “She’ll probably turn up at my house later because I asked her not to call.” 

“Anything to blow off school… and also to help you out clearly something happened with her” She initially grins before realising and replacing it with a soft smile. 

Rolling your eyes, you grab her hand and her bag leading her out of the classroom not before Valerio calls after you 

“Can I join?”

Disgust takes up your face sending him a look that shuts him down then continuing your way out of the class and down the halls. Just as you reach the main entrance you bump into Lu falling back into Rebe, her hand holding your waist steady. She goes to insult you for colliding with her before she realises it’s you. 

Looking you up and down for any discrepancies she may have caused she goes to apologise before she sees Rebeka’s hands still on your waist. This stops her as her look hardens and she stalks past not before barging Rebe’s shoulder. 

You shake your head taking her hand back into yours leading her out of the school towards the car. 

“What was that about? I mean aside from the obvious hate she has for me, it seems it’s gotten worse” She questions.

Begrudgingly, you answer 

“She thinks we fucked”

AN- started off inspired by this song but it kinda goes off it i left the song there if you still wanna listen.

[st4rfckerz]

****Ok to the 19 year old virgin with a dildo.*****

I’m 10 years older than you and have been busy in that time. I lost count of my body count, but it’s over 100 for sure so I’ve seen a lot of cock, and most of them aren’t huge. I’ve had all the races and I’ve found that they all have similar sized cocks. Black, white and Latino have like 6-7inches which is fine if he knows how to fuck. I’d say 25% have 8inches and maybe 15% has 9inches. Like 8% are under 6 inches, and I have only come across two 10 inchers out of like 100. I’ve only had sex with one Hawaiian guy and he was tall and built and had a 9 inch. I had sex with a Japanese guy too and he had like a 7 so that whole Asian guys have small dicks thing isn’t true as far as I can tell, but I don’t have a lot of experience with Asians although they’re really attractive. The Hawaiian guy was a mix of Phillipines, Somaoa and pure Hawaiian and his name was Kalani and he had this tattoo on his leg that told the story of his people and it was so hot. His eyes were grey which he said was very unusual and got him beat up when he was little but GOD he was attractive and really great in bed. He made me cum so many times I thought he broke me. Lol. Most guys don’t make you orgasm unless they know how to stimulate your clit and make you feel comfortable and beautiful. If you’re uncomfortable, insecure, or unsure about a guy, you won’t be able to reach an orgasm. Men orgasm every time they finish. It’s more physical than mental for them, while it’s equally mental and physical for women I think.

Side story about the Hawaiian guy just cuz I want to tell it- I met him in Las Vegas at a night club when we were there for my friends bachelorette party weekend. I saw him and said he was hot, and I’m very picky and never really single guys out so it got all my friends attention. I had to pee so I left my purse with my friends, and one of their drunk genius asses goes up to him and tells him he needs to return my purse to me and points me out. Thank god he didn’t just steal my purse with everything in it, but he came up and gave it to me and got me a drink and a rose and he came back to my hotel with me and hung out the whole entire weekend.(he was friends with a bunch of famous UFC fighters but none of us had a clue who any of them were, but a few of my friends got with some of those guys.) He was supposed to go back to Hawaii, but he asked if he could just hang with me a few days, and I told him I lived across the country and he bought a ticket to my hometown and ended up staying a week, and then came back a couple times and I went to Hawaii one time with him, and he didn’t want me to get on the plane but I was an idiot and didn’t say I love you too when he said he loved me. I said thank you and then got on the plane. he never spoke to me again and I was stubborn and didn’t call him after I tried a couple times and gave up.

Back to the cock talk. Length isn’t as important as the thickness unless it’s over 7 inches and hits your cervix. That shit does not feel good. When a guy hits your wall, it’s painful unless you enjoy pain, which some women like to be smacked and have their hair pulled but I’m not one of them. I’ll smack a motherfucker right back!

Porn isn’t a good gauge of what cocks are like cuz those are all extreme sized. I heard that if you’ve given birth, then you can handle bigger cocks, but I’ve never done that so I cannot verify, but I cannot imagine there’s too much of a difference since your body goes back to what it was before birth. There’s a point where they’re just too damn big.

The hottest guy I ever fucked had this enormous penis and it was terrible. I tried several times and different positions, but his dick was like as big around as a soda can and was like 10 inches. You’re trying to get something close in size of your virgin pussy? That’s gonna be tough, if not impossible. Plus what is the dildo made of? If it’s silicone or rubber, then you need some lube. I cannot stress it enough! Lube is so important. If you don’t have enough anti friction lubrication (natural or store bought) sex is not fun, and can even injure you and your partner.

Penetration isn’t really that important in female masterbation. It’s all about clit stimulation and figuring out what really turns you on. Just because you’re wet, doesn’t mean you cummed. That’s just your vagina lubricating itself in preparation for sexual activity when you’re horny or aroused. You absolutely know when you cum. It’s almost like a really strong finally getting to pee feeling, but in a good way and you don’t pee (unless you’re a squirter, but those are pretty rare) squirters are just what they sound like, when they cum they spray pee and their orgasms are more intense. I’ve squirted before and I think it’s so embarrassing but the guy is always so into it. (Even if you get them right in the face, guys are so gross sometimes)

I suggest getting a smaller dildo, and get one with a clit stimulator. Get one that’s got a plug and is rechargable so you don’t burn through a million batteries. They’re more expensive up front, but save you money in the long run.

You don’t wanna loosen yourself up too much anyway. It feels better for you and him if you’re tighter down there. If he goes down on you, and is considerate your first few times, you’ll be able to take dick in no time.

If he won’t go down on you or is not being careful or considerate, and tries to force it in roughly without you telling him to do so, then just get up and leave. You don’t need to get ripped or torn, or get a bruised internal vagina, or not be able to walk the next day comfortably cuz he’s an asshole. Just abandon ship.

Blue balls are supposedly a real thing but most of my guy friends say they are greatly exaggerated to guilt trip women into doing what they want. They don’t actually experience pain. It’s a scam.

there's nothing i can really add because i've only been with a woman but this is like top tier advice

[cottoncandyjester]

Sleeping on the couch after an argument(Spanish trio squad)

Have some angst to fluff..honestly I might do more of these with the others

This contains: slight angst, self harm on Mateo’s, talk about sex for Tiago

Zeke

When you two argue it always gets heated

He’s a passionate person plus he’s Latino..Latinos are loud

I’m talking yelling and cursing

He doesn’t mean to be so aggressive he just wants you to see his point of view

“Why are you defensive!? I’m just saying that you don’t always have to hang around prince! what are you fucking him!?” You snapped and Zeke scowled in anger

“Are you fucking serious y/n!? That’s a low damn blow! You know damn well I’m not like that” he hissed out throwing his hands up in the air frustrated. “You spend all day with him! What the hell am I supposed to think Ezekiel!? You let him influence your choices I mean you started coming home drunk knowing full well you hate to drink too much! Why do you let him control you?!” You snapped and he let out a long huff trying to relax

“He doesn’t- ugh! We’ve been fighting for hours y/n..let’s call it a break” he mumbled out with a tired sigh really just wanting to crash, he had a headache. Zeke took a shower and by the time he got out he noticed you still weren’t in bed..weird?

“Y/n?” He called out while he walked around the house before seeing you laying on the couch eyes heavy as you were falling asleep, Zeke watched you his eyes softening. Were you really going to sleep on the couch?! Zeke let’s out a loud sigh “fuck..I’m such a dumbass” he groaned out and he kneeled down poking your cheek softly to wake you up

“Oi. Crazy thing what are you doing sleeping out here?” He mumbled out as he softly pulled you into his arms standing up carrying you to bed. “I didn’t wanna sleep together mad..” you mumbled out sleepily and Zeke kissed your cheek

“You’re right. I should spend less time with him, he’s dragging me down too much..” he whispers out before plopping you down in the bed and crawling in next to you hugging you close to his chest.

“I love you y/n”

“Mmm, love you too..”

Tiago

He doesn’t even argue with you

He kinda just takes all your yelling

It’s like talking to a brick wall

But after a while of all that verbal attacking he needs to release it so he just punches a wall or breaks something to calm down

He tries not to do it infront if you but when he does it’s utterly scary

You two always argue about him not expressing his feelings well like that’s the only topic you two fight about

“Can you please at least pretend that you care? It’s like dating a wall the only passion you show is during sex” you snapped and Tiago leaned against the wall letting you vent out to him which only seemed to make you more upset.

“God! Dating you so so difficult!” You snapped and walked off out the room, after a few moments of silence tiago punched the wall in anger frustrated with himself that he even let this happen. Tiago decided to let out some stress by going to the backyard and watering the flowers, he figured you two can talk about it when you lay down.

After an hour he walked back in the house he noticed you were asleep on the couch and flinched, he didn’t like that. Tiago softly scooped you into his arms now laying on the couch with you, laying in the bed did not feel right.

In the morning you woke up to tiago holding you tightly almost falling off the couch from how uncomfortable it was to lay there with you but he did it. You shook him lightly watching him open his eyes

“Baby your back is gonna hurt did you sleep here?” You asked and he nodded hugging you close “sorry, I’ll be better. I’ll express myself more..promise” he whispers out now kissing your neck

You smiled hugging him knowing full well you couldn’t stay mad at him for too long “I love you” you purred out and he hummed softly “love you too..”

Mateo

Arguments with mateo never happen

This was your first fight

He doesn’t like yelling Or loud noise so he’s freaking out

You don’t even realize how much you’re hurting him

He full on has a violent meltdown

He can’t help it but it is scary

“Mateo you’re in too many sports clubs you barley have enough time to actually relax! I mean it’s like you care about sports more than this relationship !” You huffed out as the male kept his head down body shaking and hands over ears

“P-please stop yelling at me..” he whispers out so soft you didn’t quite catch it, so you yell louder thinking that he’s ignoring you. “Mateo! At least talk to me! You really have nothing to say?! I mean you have all your games piled this week we were supposed to have a date and you just have to cancel now?! Like this is the third time this happened you nee-”

He couldn’t take this anymore and let out a feral scream making you flinch “you’re being too loud! Stop stop stop! Stop screaming at me! Just leave me alone! Why are you yelling at me!?” He snapped out with a choked sob body twitching and shaking and you now noticed that he’s been hurting himself the entire tire nails raking the back of his neck blood dripping down.

You two immediately stopped and you thought it would be best to give him space so you went to the couch for the night, but the moment you didn’t get into bed mateo went to find you tensing up when he saw you laying on the couch on your phone

“D-do you hate me now? Cause I’m sorry..I didn’t mean to get angry I just, it was too loud and you were yelling. I’ll stop playing sports! I’ll do whatever you want please don’t leave!” mateo started to cry and you sat up realizing just how much you hurt him and you held your arms out watching him rush to you crawling on you sobbing into your chest as you rubbed his back

“I was being selfish babe, I’m sorry. I know you adore sports it makes you happy.” You said softly and he looked up at you kissing your face all over “I-I’m sorry I’m so sorry y/n, I’ll give you more time!” He squeaked out and cling to you.

The two of you ended up sleeping on the couch together cuddled up together mateo having tear stains on his cheeks as he had cried himself to sleep.

[thefreshchannel]

What’re ur Courtney head canons

Oh boi are u ready for this: everyone can feel free to disagree but this is my courtney vision acting up starting with PRE TD and then going to POST TD

Long post

Courtney is definitely straight A student with advanced placement courses and part of many extracurricular activities. 

Courtney’s an only child and turned prodigy by her parents. Top of the class always no position under the first one.

Courtney’s parents took failure of any sort VERY BADLY which made courtney perceive any sort of mistake or flaw or failure as unacceptable.

Courtney (this was confirmed by dramarama) will never be absent to school she could be dying but she would not miss a day in school.

Courtney has two notebooks for each class. One for quick notes she takes in class and the second one to pass her notes over to make them look like

Courtney can play many instruments besides violin (guitar/oboe/flute/trumpet/clarinet/french horn/harp) courtney always gets the solos in choir as well.

Speaking of choir, Courtney isnt religious but as in every latino household her mom is and she would take her to church to be in the church choir. Courtney’s done her first communion but never really got into religion. I dont wanna say shes a heavy atheist altho she does kinda seem like the person who would be like “you believe in a non existent deity to solve your life problems instead of working to fix them yourself? Couldnt be me”

Courtney was a girl scout doing anything in her power to collect EVERY BADGE was a headcanon i’ve always had and was also confirmed by dramarama so idk how much this counts as a hc anymore lol

Courtney has worked as a TA and a tutor. Definitely lost the tutoring job due to short patience and blaming the kids for being idiots. Also she was mean and scary.

Courtney’s had many jobs that didn’t last long based on her attitude and the way she felt above everyone.

Courtney loves musicals. I can also see courtney being in her school’s drama club and always trying out for the lead of musicals. She obviously always got them but quit when she was given the role of someone’s understudy.

Courtney knows and studies many languages. She is fluent in spanish because her parents refused to have a yo no sabo kid, but she’s also fluent in french and portuguese. She studies italian and german.

Courtney feels like she’s mentally stronger than she actually is and feels she doesn’t need any sort of therapy because she can handle anything herself and her mental state is strong as fuck. She’s very mentally weak and worse after TD.

Has a heavy need to be validated by others but ofc she’ll never tell you about it because she is way too good to care about what others think but please tell her she’s doing a wonderful amazing job.

Courtney sent TWO audition tapes to total drama. She eventually did a redo of her audition tape and had tom fix it up for her and burn it in a CD, however gave courtney the wrong one in which she had mixed the two speeches up. Having noticed she sent the wrong one in she tried sending in her redo as well. The TD producers probably found the first one hilarious and probably found it even funnier that she had sent a correction one in.

Courtney has never had a close friend/deep relationship before total drama. Everyone had just been a rival or classmate or an acquaintance. Gwen became her very first best friend in world tour.

Courtney considers total drama one of her biggest failures because she knew she had every skill to win had she not been robbed. Absolutely believed she would win and reach the finale in tdi. Despite many firings in her job life regarding her attitude she kinda sees those as “well something better and more deserving of me awaits” so she doesnt really consider those failures. Total drama was a huge blow for her because everyone watched her fail and everyone saw her get several chances and fail again and everyone saw her relationships fail. Despite the fact she pretends it doesn’t bother her the thoughts are always sneaking in her head constantly.

Courtney managed to get herself in a really prestigious university for amazing grades and an even more amazing entry essay. She works in student life organizing events for the campus.

I feel courtney becomes a workaholic to try to keep herself busy from ever having bad thoughts or feeling vulnerable and guilty by past td stuff.

Courtney doesnt drink often unless she’s out in special occasions. She doesnt smoke at all. However because of how rarely she drinks when she does drink at a college party she is a mess after a second drink. Crying drunk. Talks about total drama constantly.

One of the things she thinks about a lot is gwen. On reunions and talkshows she always refused to admit how wrong she was for how she lost her in tdas. But it constantly eats her alive.

Courtney is a neat freak. Her room/dorm is always clean, her backpack is always organized. It probably got even worse after total drama. She is always cleaning and expecting her roommate to follow her cleaning schedule. Courtney’s roommate’s afraid of her.

Courtney’s often stopped by paparazzi and td fans asking questions about duncan but she always ignores them and avoids them.

Courtney’s very much over duncan so constantly being asked about him angers her. She hates the fact that she’s unfortunately always linked to him and would like to be seen more as her own person without duncan.

She’s not very active in social media. She tried it but it seemed like she couldnt escape being linked to total drama and constantly asked about other contestants or berated about her behavior on the show.

She’s done with chasing for fame or acknowledging fame and stays hidden. She was contacted many times about appearing in ridonculous race but she decided she was completely done with anything total drama.

The only person from total drama courtney keeps in touch with is bridgette. She lost contact with a lot of the cast, sometimes would keep in touch with heather but eventually lost communication with her.

[orleans-jester]

Meanwhile in Spain {Agnes&Pierre&Bastien HC}

“I - hate - this-” Pierre said, jumping from one bed to another like a child having a tantrum. “I’m - so - bored!”

Agnes was sitting on the sofa of the room, feet tucked under her bottom, and was trying to read one of the guide books that she had picked up in the lobby, but Pierre was being very distracting. Esmeralda had gone out to get them something for dinner, would be back soon, leaving just the three of them in the quickly cramped-feeling room together. “Just go to the pool again,” She offered, turning a page.

“I wanna go clubbing. I want to get laid. I could be doing that right now, but nooo. You just had to date the wrong guy, didn’t you?” Pierre was instigating. It was obvious. He really was bored, and hated being cooped up like this. This was a guy who rarely stayed home for longer than a single night, though he’d been doing it more because of his mother.

“And who would you consider to be the right guy?” Agnes asked, finally looking up from the book. “You hate Chip. You tried to fight Ronno for even being in my room, so clearly not him. You don’t even like when I talk to a boy, let alone date one. So I’m really interested. Who do you think would be right?”

“Jesus,” Piere shrugged.

“Like Jesus Jesus, or a random latino man?” Agnes asked, annoyed.

“Christ himself. That’s the only one I wouldn’t square off with,” Pierre said with a grin, noticing that he was annoying his twin. This was what being restless did to him. He’d push at any and all buttons just to get a reaction. Only with her though. He always thought that seeing her get mad and flustered was hilarious.

“What about Bastien? Would you fight him if I asked him out?” She would ask, looking over at her adopted brother, sneaky grin on her face. Now it was Pierre’s turn to get annoyed, the old reverse card.

“Hey, I called dibs on him,” Pierre let himself fall onto the bed on his back. He sat up with a pout. “That’s not fair.”

“You totally didn’t, and I met him before you did, so dibs are totally mine,” Agnes said with a bright smile. Pierre grumbled about that, clearly not happy that Agnes had been invited to meet him before he was. “Suck on that, hairball.”

“Ouch, my heart," Pierre said, holding his hand over his chest. “I think we all know he prefers me anyway, so your dibs don’t even matter.”

Agnes just rolled her eyes. “You’re such a child. I don’t know how anyone can stand you.”

And this was why the twins never shared a room before, not since they were toddlers. Get them locked together like this and it was squabble city. And now Bastien was being the center of one of those squabbles.

“Bastien stands me just fine,” Pierre said, standing up, hands on his hips in a superhero type of pose. “Don’t you Bas?”

“You never even answered my question,” Agnes said, putting the book down entirely now, getting caught up in this bickering. Maybe she was a little bored too. And maybe this was a welcome distraction from wondering how everyone back home was doing. How Summer and River were - were they even still kidnapped? News of Sherwood had made the news too, videos of Chip, well, Savvy more than likely, on the TVs even out here in Spain. And a hot line for any information on the whereabouts of the missing Renaults. At least her dad’s parents weren’t on the screen, making tearful wishes for their safety.

“What question?”

“Would you try to fight Bastien if I asked him out?” She asked, tilting her head, a glint of her own in her eye. Pierre sat back down, rubbed his chin like he was really thinking about it. Looked between his sister and then at Bastien, then back again like he was trying to figure out some crazy math problem.

“You wouldn’t,” He said, eyes narrowing.

“Why not? He’s wonderful. He’s handsome. He’s not an annoying prat like you. We already have a lot of fun together,” She counted on her fingers. “I mean, if you kind of think about it, we’ve already been on two dates.”

“You fucking what?” Pierre asked, eyes wide. “What? When? How? Where?”

“There was the first night that we met, when he showed me the city from the rooftops, and the beautiful bells that he rings. We stayed up and watched the sunrise together, then we went back to his hotel room and mom picked me up. That seems like it would kind of count, don’t you think? And then there was the concert at Hog Fest. He had me up on his shoulders, which was really fun.”

“Even though you were drunk,” Pierre pointed out. “Damn Bastien, you got moves though. I might actually have to fight you now.”

“He’d kick your scrawny ass,” Agnes said with a laugh. “I’d be a lucky girl though, if that were the case. You’re going to make someone very happy one day.” Even with the gargoyles. Even with the weird mumbling. The firebug. She loved him. Pierre loved him. Esmeralda instantly loved him all over again. Even the Papas grew to like him a lot.

Stuck in a hotel room in Spain and the Renault twins fighting over him. Poor Bastien.

[bodyswapmischief]

Jiggalo In Trouble

Well, I don't fucking know what to do. You see ... this isn't my body. This morning I was a hairy, obese, 50 year old man. Not, this muscled, latino, bad boy you see now.

You could say my life was pathetically tragic. I grew up in a time and place where I couldn't be myself. I was gay but, stayed deep in the closet. I even forced myself to marry a woman and have 3 beautiful children. I had a decent life and most days I was happy. But, I always knew I was lying to the ones I love. Yet, I knew the truth could never come out. I had to live the rest of my life playing a straight man.

But, there was always one thing on my bucket list. I wanted to have a sex with a man. Just once, and I could die happy. I tried many times, with gay dating apps, but I always chickened out at the last minute.

But, then the opportunity showed itself. I was selected by my boss to go to Las Vegas, for a work related convention. I would be the repsentive for this branch at some booths, panels, and meetings that were going to happen.

It didn't seem to stressful. Working for the company for so long, I knew I would be able to handle it. But, what I was really excited for was the possibilites. "Whatever happens in Vegas; stays in Vegas."

So, I get there and I work at the convention. It was okay. I met some cool people. I networked. But, the long days always left me tired. I had no time or energy to look for a fast one night stand. Or maybe that was just an excuse for me chickening out again. Outside of the convention, I just spent my time eating at th hotels buffet and watching TV in my hotel room.

As the paid trip was coming to an end, I had a free day all to myself. It started off the same. I went to the buffet and ate till I was full. Then I waddled back to my room. Looking through my suitcase, I saw my special clothes I packed. In case I did manage to get the courage to do a one stand, I pack some leather gear. I sighed disappointed in myself for chickening out.

But, a thought popped in my mind. I might not have the courage to have sex with a stranger. But, I could walk around the casino dressed up as a fat leather daddy. I put on the tight leather pants. I put on a plain white shirt and leather vest. I looked at the mirror and smiled. Finally, I could express myself. I put on the rest of my gear and sighed. My heart was racing. And then I opened my hotel room door.

No one was around so, I walked into the elevator. Through the sound of my heartbeat, I was screaming inside my mind. "What the FUCK am I doing." As the elevator went down people started getting in. I wanted to cry, I was so embarrassed. But, nobody said anything. No one laughed or said something mean. Some people even smiled at me. I began to relax. I began to feel happy and maybe even sexy.

It felt like the stars aligned. And maybe they did. I went to see some shows. I ate at the buffet. I got compliments from guys. I got some numbers and some invites to clubs. I even danced with some guys at a leather bar. But, I knew I wasn't going to take the next step. I was still scared. And, it was getting late. With beer in my stomach and altering my mind. I stopped at the slot machines and put a coin in, before going to my room. And, luck really was on my side. As the machine lit up, it announced I won the 20,000 dollar grand prize. I was still drunk. Staff and other people surrounded me. They were cheering and giving me balloons, a crown, and the check to collect my winnings when I was ready.

I got up, still tipsy, and stumbled a little bit. People laughed and cheered little bit. The staff slide the check into my vest pocket. "Don't worry I got him." A hot young man came to myside. He used his strength to help me stand. He had tattoos on his arms. He was wearing a tight shirt and pants. A gold chain hung from his neck.

Everyone dispersed as this Latin stud led me to the elevator. "Okay, Papi, what room are you in." To drunk I just handed him my key card. He lead me to my room and laid me on the bed. He started taking off my clothes. I don't fight back. In my drunk mind this is the fantasy I always wanted. "Okay big boy, it looks like your going to get luck again tonight."

I can't see over my giant stomach but, I could feel him take off my pants then underwear. Suddenly, I felt him push my fat pad and start sucking my dick. He started off slow and I moaned with pleasure. He kept sucking using his tongue to play with the head of my penis. My breathing became heavier and the pleasure starts to sober me up. I felt my dick about to burst with cum. I tried to warn him but he ignores me. And, I shoot my load into his mouth. I gasped in ecstasy.

Suddenly, I felt a dick in my mouth. My mouth is covered with semen, as the dick keep pulsating with cum. I swallowed what I could and then took it out of my mouth. Right in front of me was a familiar sight. I saw my penis surrounded by my fatty pelvic region. From this outside perspective I could see how fat I really was? I look down and saw that I'm in the young man's body. My dick was rock hard and my body was now lighter and stronger. Adrenalin rushed through my muscles. Tattoos covered the body.

My body finally started talking, "Like what you see?"

"What did you do to me ... to us?"

"You see I'm a juggalo and I saw you ... a man who needed to get lucky, if you know what I mean. And, after tonight's big win down stairs I know you have the money to pay me."

"But... but.... I'm in your body and you ..."

"Oh, I have a fetish. I like giving men the opportunity to be me. I mean look at you now you are stud. You are turned on just by being in that body. Just existing in that body is orgasmic for you. So, that makes sex so much better, at least for me. And, then experiencing new bodies is always fun. I haven't been in a person this fat in awhile. And your breast are so sensitive. Oh, and this tight asshole. What do you say do you want to fuck yourself, with my body."

My old body spreaded its legs, revealing its asshole. My dick was raging hard. I slowly inserted my long dark dick. It felt so good. I started going a little faster. I watch as the muscles in my caramel body flexed and relaxed. The whole experience was hot. I started touching my old body the way I knew I liked to be touched.

"Fuck this is so good. Faster, faster, faster." My old body cried out. Feeling the strength of the muscled body, I go full speed. Both of our bodies were sweating, panting, moaning. Then everything stopped, as we both cummed.

We laid side by side, a big smile on my face. My old fat body started kissing my buff chest and then up my neck. "Let me freshen up, and then it's my turn to fuck you." He whispered sexually.

I watched as he struggled to get to his feet and then as he waddled to the bathroom. I laid there exploring my new body. My dick already getting hard from my excitement.

Then, I heard the front room door open. A man with a gun walked in.

"Fuck Enrique! Cover up or something." My heart racing, I grabbed a blanket and put it over my naked body. "Good, now this is you last fucking chance. The boss wants his money and necklace back"

"You ... you ... I'm... um." I try to talk but I can't think straight. The man walked closer and grabbed me by the neck. He started choking me. I tried to fight back. But, then he grabs me by the balls. He starts squeezing them. The pain is intense, I lay still. "Good now talk or I ripped out your prized possessions." He says as he pulls out a blade.

Then from the corner of my eye, I saw my old body enter the room. "Hey! Hey! Hey! Ryan leave him alone. It's me Enrique. He has nothing to do with this."

The man on top of me looks over his shoulder. "Really!? Your in that fatass. I guess it suits you for being such a pig in the first place." He laughed. "So, where's the boss's money."

"Here, I have part of it here. This guy just won it big downstairs. And, with access to his memories, I have access to his bank accounts." Enrique smiles.

The man begins to aim his gun at Enrique. "What ... what are you doing. I ... I have the money." Enrique starts to panic.

"What is your name," the man motions to me. "Andrew," I nervously replied. The man turns his attention back at Enrique. "No you don't have the money. You have Andrew's money. The boss is fucking tired of your shit. God! I've been waiting to do this for so long," with that last word Enrique, in my body, was shot in the head. Blood splattered on the wall and was quickly pooling on the floor. I saw in shock as my old body laid thier lifeless. What the fuck was going to happen, now.

The man walks to me and I prepare for the worst. Instead, he just ripped the golden chain from my neck. "Well it looks like it your lucky day. You got an upgrade on your body.." He said, as he looked down at me. "Don't worry about your old life. There is no going back now. I'll make sure your wife and kids get what you saved in your bank and I'm pretty sure the boss will throw a little extra."

"S ... so your just going to let me go?," I asked.

"Yeah, why not? You didn't do anything wrong., besides cheating. But, we've all been there. Plus, that body has made a lot of enemies so, you won't exactly have a peaceful life. Don't get me wrong the boss will spread the word of what really happened to Enrique, but some people just really like seeing the actual body dead. So, take your winnings and find some small town to lay low and start a new life."

A new life, one that was in constant danger. This seemed more like a punishment, but in a way I guessed I deserved it. I could never go back to my old life. I knew at this point there was no use in protesting. "What about him I pointed to my dead body."

."Oh, he was a pig in life. Now he's being tortured as a fatass in hell. But, if you are talking about the body; well we have people who will take care of that. So, I recommend leaving as soon as possible."

The man patted me on the back and started to leave. "Good luck with your new life. But, if things get to out of hand for you or you are in desperate need for a job give me a call." He places a business card on the desk, before he leaves.

Now, I'm sitting here. Memories flood my mind. I saw every bad thing this body did. Using that necklace, the man took, to rob people of everything they owned, even killing people in the process. I looked at my hands, then my arms, and then my muscular torso. I had my dream body, but at what cost. I look at this memories with disgust, I knew that I wasn't capable of those acts. But, it didn't matter, the memories felt so real.

I hear a buzzing sound and snap back to reality. I start putting on Enriques clothes and feel a cell phone. It buzzes again. LAST WARNING: Destroy this phone and get out of there now!. I easily snap the phone in half and submerge the broken pieces into a nearby glass with water. I take the the business card and walked out of the room. I didn't know where I was going. I just knew Las Vegas was no longer safe for me. I need to get some where far and collect my thoughts about what the fuck happened.

[godofplumsandthunder]

More Food

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Latina!Reader

Warnings: None

A/n: This was written for @the-ss-horniest-book-club​ drunk drabbles. The prompt was Bucky going to Reader’s abuela’s house and liking the food. It was sent in by the lovely @buckys-henley​ As a fellow Hispanic/Latinx person, I love writing for Latinxs characters. And the food chosen were pupusas, which are a dish from El Salvador, which are so good. I hope you like it.

"So you're telling me that even if I'm full, I still have to eat? And if I say no to more, I'm disrespecting her work and skills in the kitchen?" Bucky asks for what feels like the hundredth time. Turning up into your Abuela's driveway, you can't help but laugh.

"Yep! You got it! And then she'll tell you you're getting fat, but then question why you aren't eating enough. I can tell this is your first time dating a Latina." Bucky looks down and fidgets with his button-down shirt. Your Abuela comes out and smiles from the porch.

"Mija! Ven aqui y dar tu abuela un abrazo!" (Mija! Come here and give your grandma a hug!) You smile at your abuela in her bata (house robe) as she stands on the porch.

"Ay, Abuela!" You snuggle into her arms, her smell of Ponds lotion reminds you of your childhood. Bucky stands behind you, awkwardly. Your Abuela looks at him.

"Y/N, otra vez con los gringos. Pero vamos a ver. Niño, hablas español?" (Really, Y/N? Again with the white boys. But I'll give him a chance. Do you speak Spanish?) She stares Bucky down, with that Latina death glare. Bucky gulps.

"Si, señora. Puedo hablar espanol." (Yes ma'am. I can speak Spanish). This makes your Abuela smile big.

"A ver si le gusta mi comida. Ala, pa' dentro. Tengo pupusas que son bien calientitas." (Let's see if he likes my cooking. Come on, let's go in side. I have some warm pupusas ready) She mumbles as she shuffles in. Bucky turns to you, scared, though he would deny it.

"What's a pupusa?" You can't help but giggle at the apparent fear in his eyes. These gringos and their fear of latino food, you think.

"A pupusa is the best damn thing you're going to eat. But don't you dare eat it with a fork, okay? You'll have to face my abuela's chancla if you do."

You sit down at the table and see all of your favorites. Pupusa de queso (cheese) and revuelto (cheese, and pork) along with the cortido and the most amazing salsa. You take a bite, and they're amazing, like always.

"Abuela, las pupusas son riquisimas!" Your abuela can't help but smile. She turns to Bucky, who's already finished his first pupusa.

She eyes him, "y tu niño, que tal? Le gusta las pupusas?" You can't help but sigh. This was the real test. If he likes the food, your abuela will approve, if not, well, let's just say she'll resent him for the rest of her life.

"Me encanta! Puedo tener mas?" Your abuela drops her fork, and silence fills the room as she gets up from her chair and shuffles to Bucky. He gulps nervously, as do you. She stands in front of Bucky and pinches his cheeks.

¨Mijo, puedes tener mas. Siempre puedes tener mas comida. Y tienes que comer. Que eres demasiado flaco.¨ (Mijo, you can have more. You can always have more food. Cause you need to eat, you are too skinny).

You smile as Bucky whispers in your ear, "so... Did I pass the test?"

You chuckle, "Bucky, you speak Spanish and like my abuela's food. She's basically planning our wedding."

Bucky blushes, "well, that wouldn't be such a bad thing, would it?."

=====

Tagging: @marvelgirl7​ @ilovetaquitosmmmm @lizette50​ @alex12948​

[dawsonscreekwasalwaysbad]

season 6 thoughts

hey quick question why the FUCK did you start with that

like on the one hand i’m glad that now i know what happened right after the end of “that’s too much man!”. on the other hand… ow

the mountain bojack climbs is called “metaphor mountain” God bless Lisa Hanawalt

i LOVE the way the episodes are framed… like you get one flashback to bojack drinking and you think that was the first time then it’s like NOPE he was even younger

CINDY CRAWFISH AKSHDJDSF

AND BABY BOJACK SNUGGLING UP TO HIS MOTHER… TRYING TO FEEL AN EMBRACE SHE WOULD NEVER GIVE… CATCH ME CRYING IN THE CLUB

WHO THE FUCK CAME UP WITH THIS NEW INTRO

AND THE WAY IT HAS ALL THOSE FLASHBACK SCENES BUT IT STILL ENDS WITH HIM FALLING INTO THE POOL AND DIANE AND PEANUTBUTTER CHECKING TO SEE IF HES OK AND THEN HES JSUT LOUNGING IN HIS APPLE SHORTS;;; it’s just,, he’s going back home in the end, going back to the place where he started, as if everything will go back to the way it was before and he’ll find himself stuck in the same cycles he tried so hard to escape… all im saying is, i dont think this season is gonna end well

and how it dwells on his past, everything he did wrong, all the most heartwrenching moments, and there aren’t any changes to the intro (as far as i could tell) until episode 8… nothing changes if all you do is look back.

I am LOVING the Mr. Peanutbutter we’re getting this season. I was never really attached to him before; it’s not that I hated him, just that I liked all the other main characters better. and now that they’ve had him do something really bad and reckon with that,, he’s plumbing new depths, exploring those dark places, questioning if he’s truly as happy as he says he is

and bonding with bojack??? who would have guessed

bojack keeps giving advice that is, at best, the kind he doesn’t follow himself, and at worst, bringing others down into the well of self-pity that he’s been stuck in the whole series

Someone give Princess Carolyn a break…

SHE NAMED HER DAUGHTER RUTHIE IM CRYING

Guy seems like a cool guy but I feel like they’re setting him up to seem nice so that it’s more surprising when it’s revealed he’s not. I’m probably being too suspicious, but also we don’t know much of the details about his divorce, do we? Lakeith Stanfield's great tho

EPISODE 4 WAS COMEDY GOLD

The return of Queefburglar69

I WANNA WRAP PICKLES UP IN A BLANKET LIKE A BURRITO AND TELL HER EVERYTHINGS OKAY

Oh man Pickles talking about how her subscribers will always be there for her… like… it’s not one person, it’s a cloud of people, the contents and shape of which changes, might even be completely different and unrecognizable from one year to the next, but they’re all still there as this nebulous support system. and it reminded me of what bojack said to young sarah lynn about how her fans are the only things she can count on

Todd is babey.

Also him wearing the ace colors under his hoodie!!

I knew Diane’s rationale for going to chicago was bullshit. she said it makes her feel good, but “it doesn’t matter where you are, it’s who you are,” and she still dwells on her bad feelings and hates herself just as much in chicago as she did in LA. moving somewhere else isn’t necessarily gonna change those tendencies, she has to work on it herself.

OH MAN AND WHEN BOJACK GETS DR CHAMP DRUNK AGAIN… THROWING THE BOTTLE OUT THE WINDOW WAS A WAY TO AVOID RUINING ANOTHER LIFE AND HE ENDS UP DOING THE EXACT THING HE HOPED HE WOULD NEVER DO AGAIN

was honestly kinda hoping that Dr Champ was just pretending he got drunk to show how bad bojack could get if he relapsed but at the end when he was like “stay…” that’s how i knew that shit was real.

todd is so fucking stupid i love him

ngl am kinda disappointed that todd’s confirmed white, cause i’ve kinda been picturing him as latino for a long time and i know rbw said he doesn’t want to alienate latino viewers who relate to todd. but it makes a  lot of sense, cause he always gets away with stupid shit and gets to the top of things without even having to try just because he knows a guy. and maybe the reason he’s so positive all the time is because it’s so easy for him to be, he never has to worry about shit bc of the privilege his whiteness affords him. also I love that we got to learn more about his backstory

THE CONTRAST BTWN “all the shitty things I did that I can barely even remember because I was high or drunk or it was thirty years ago” and “I remember everything. I’m sober now.” !!!!!!!!!!!!!

sharona sounds like a cross btwn princess carolyn and margo martindale

I have… mixed feelings about the haircut

Oh man Mr. Peanutbutter had a moment… he finally got that crossover episode… I was kinda hoping for a joke that went “Mr. Peanutbutter and BoJack Horseman in the same room? What is this, Philbert?” or “What is this, a short-lived show on a streaming network that got canceled because the star got addicted to painkillers and strangled his costar in a drugged haze?” but this is SO MUCH BETTER. I've never seen him cry before and the way he reacts to himself crying suggests that maybe he’s never cried before at all, and that’s why he just keeps laughing, almost like it’s forced, cause this is supposed to be his happiest moment and it’s not supposed to make him so sad. fucking,, character development

and the cold open of ep 8… you can forgive yourself and move on from your past wrongs but it doesn’t erase the things you did, the effects they have on people, and the trauma they’ve suffered. and then like, how can you forgive yourself if they never forgive you? how do you maintain that balance? why should you move forward if they can’t?

its weird to have an episode consisting entirely of guest stars but it also illustrates the extensive world they’ve built and i applaud that… also where the fuck is ana spanakopita

GINA RETURNS!!! HELL YEAH

her quote about not wanting to be defined by what bojack did to her has always stuck with me, and i feel like now, that quote has sort of come true. like, her saying that made us avoid reducing her to what happened to her, and thats why i wanted to see her come back this season, hopefully moving past it. but she can’t. it traumatized her. and everyone can see the effects of it but she feels like she can’t come forward, cause if she does she’ll be punished. shit like that changes you.

and it’s another instance on the show where someone chooses to advance their career & preserve their reputation over doing the right thing (like what bojack does with herb & sharona), but bojack does it out of self-interest, and gina does it so she doesn’t have to relive her trauma every time she gets interviewed or recognized by a fan. but even when she keeps quiet about it she’s still reliving her trauma

noah fence but what a waste of the once-per-season fuck word. youre really gonna use it in an episode IN WHICH BOJACK DOES NOT EVEN APPEAR, and not only that, but RECYCLE AN OLD SENTENCE FROM A PREVIOUS EPISODE

netflix places no limits on a show’s use of the fuck word (i think), so… fingers crossed for something better in the second part?

OH MY GOD PETE REPEAT INTRODUCED HIMSELF AS PETER ITS ALMOST LIKE HES TRYING TO FORGET THAT TIME & THAT PERSON HE WAS (im probably reading into it too much, I’m sure it’s mostly so we wouldn’t figure out who it was immediately. maybe im just like the kid with the coffee cup.)

and just… ppl describe this show as “family guy or the simpsons except the protagonist faces consequences for his actions” but bojack has gotten away with everything.

you ever just like… you ever watch a scene and feel the cliffhanger vibes creeping up and you just know it’s gonna end there and leave you unsatisfied and begging for more but at the same time that’s what makes it such a good place to end it. that was me with this. (and also the ending of undone)

the thing about this show is, it illustrates what it’s like to be a toxic person. and sure, he has it hard, but the show never asserts that he has it any worse than his victims, even if bojack himself does so. and he only does it so he can feel better about himself. he deserves a reckoning, he needs to pay for his bad deeds. but then, when you know what made him this way and what goes on inside his mind and that he wants to get better, it makes you feel for him, and forces you to ask if he deserves to get better and forgive himself and move forward. but even if he does, it doesn’t change the things he did. it doesn’t fix the lives he’s ruined.

anyway sound off if you think bojack’s gonna die at the end. hopefully not by suicide

[fahhhhq]

Just Love Me

Episode One

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Female Reader

“Warnings”: Fluffy fluff. Language (cursing.)  Sexual implications. Alcohol. And mention of weed. 

Summary: Who would have thought that six months ago getting high with a guy outside a club could lead to the best relationship ever.

Song: LOVE. - Kendrick Lamar

I had never been to Chile, and now that I was here, I wondered why I hadn’t come sooner. And then I thought “oh yeah, because I didn't have a Chilean boyfriend before.” I set my stuff down in the room that we were going to be staying for the holidays and it just made me giddy.

“Baby, you want me put your makeup bag in the bathroom or here in the room?” Pedro asked from the door.

I turned from where I was now standing, looking out the window, “Uh, in the bathroom, thank you.”

He winked at me and smile, “No problem.” I grinned in return.

I turned back to the window and got nervous. I was about to meet the rest of Pedro’s family and I was fucking nervous. His brothers and sister already liked me, cause I’m obviously awesome, but now I was meeting the aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents. That was a whole different story in the Latino community. It was a big deal. It meant we were serious, me and Pedro, and that made me feel nervous and fucking ecstatic.

I head footsteps behind me and then arms encircle my waits, I leaned back into Pedro’s embrace and inhaled his scent, “What are you looking at?”

“Nothing,” I said still looking out the window.

He looked at me, “Doesn’t seem like nothing.”

I turned in his arms, “I’m a bit nervous.”

Pedro laughed, “Why?”

“What do you mean ‘why?’ I’m gonna meet your family-family and that’s a big fucking deal.”  

He still continues to laugh and then gives me a peck on the lips, my nose, the side of my mouth and then my mouth again. “No te pongas nerviosa, they’re going to love you like I do.”

“Sureeee,” I say smiling and rolling my eyes. “I love you, too.”

“Mas te vale,” he says threatening me, “Now come on, we have to go get dinner ready.”

He let go and walked to the door, I just looked at him with an arched brow, “We?”

He groaned and laughed, “Yes, we, I’m going to help you guys chop stuff. I’m dangerous with a knife, young lady.”

I walked to him, “Emphasis on the dangerous, baby.” I laughed.

He just laughed and smacked my butt.

-------------

Pedro’s aunt, sister and stepmom were back from the store and were now in the kitchen putting down the groceries when Pedro and I entered. His aunt looked at me and grinned, “Hola, mija, nos vas a ayudar?” She looked at me expectantly for my answer about helping them cook.

“Claro! Estaba arreglando nuestra ropa, pero ya estoy lista!” I go to help take out the groceries out the bag and then start to wash them. “What are we going to cook?” I ask the ladies.

Pedro’s stepmom and aunt speak at the same time, “Porotos Granados y Pastel de Choclo y Humitas.”

I just stare at them with a questioning look, “Uhh, I don’t know what that is.”

Pedro’s sister, Javiera, laughs, “Porotos Granados is fresh bean stew, and Pastel de Choclo y Humitas is corn and beef casserole and Humitas.”

My stomach growls from just the description, “Well sign me up, let’s do this!”

The ladies laugh and tell me what to cut. Pedro joins in on the fun and starts chopping veggies next to me, bumping me, making me cut the veggies in weird big and small shapes. “Stop, I’m trying to do a good job, and if I mess up, I’m going to stab you and make it look like an accident, you're not the only good actor around here, buddy,” I whisper.

He bumps into me once more laughing, making his eyes little, “You don’t scare me, I’m invincible!” he exclaims.

I motion to stab him, and he stops laughing, “Sorry, sorry, kidding!”

“That’s what I thought,” I grin, then look at all the ladies in the kitchen laughing to themselves watching Pedro and I playfight, but in my mind, its foreplay. In my mind I want to grab his hand, drag him to our room and fuck him against the wall, then go back to the kitchen and finish cooking. And he knows what im thinking because he winks, gives me a kiss on the cheek and squeezes my thigh.

Fifteen minutes later and all the vegetables and meats are finally cut and ready to be prepared. Pedro’s mom and aunt start preparing the food, the rest of us start pounding grape and head to the living room to join the other people joining us for Christmas Eve dinner.

Pedro and I sit down next to his grandfather, Tata as he likes to call him, me in the middle, Pedro puts his arm around me and pulls me towards him. We click glasses and take a sip of our wine. I settle into him and just feel at ease.

I look back at Pedro and give him a devilish grin, “Are we gonna get fucked up like we did when we met, or what?”

He laughs, “Fuck yeah,” he says and then finishes off his wine. “Finish yours so I can refill our glasses.”

I chug the rest of my wine and regret it instantly, “Ugh, wine is not meant to be chugged.”

He chuckles, gives me a peck on the lips and goes to the kitchen. I turn to his grandpa and ask him if he’s hungry, “Ya esta listo para comer?”

He grunts and sighs, frustration written all over his face, “No eh comido desde el medio dia, no se cuanto mas van a durar estas mujeres.”

I laugh, “No creo que duren mas, ya mero estaba listo cuando nos venimos a sentar.”

He sighs again, “Pos ojala.”

Pedro comes back and hands me my almost-full glass of wine, “What are you guys talking about?”

I take a sip, “How we’re starving.”

“Actually, my stepmom told me to come in here and tell everyone that the food will be ready in five minutes,” Pedro says to everyone in the living room, including the rest of his siblings, nephews and uncles, and sits in the coffee table in front of me and his grandpa.

“Awesome,” I say and clink glasses with Pedro, holding eye contact.

“Y ustedes cuando se van a casar?” Both Pedro and I almost choke on our wine when his grandpa asks us when we’re going to get married. We had never really gotten into that topic because well we’d only been going out for a little over six months and there was no reason to talk about it, right? We were enjoying what we had, and yeah maybe we had talked about getting married, and we both were open to the idea, but that’s as far as that ever went. But I did see building a life with Pedro. Waking up next to him every morning, at least when he wasn’t off filming something somewhere, talking to him about our days, getting drunk and high together, something that we had loved to do since we started dating, and that was just the beginning. I wanted to do so much stuff with him.

We both cleared our throats and I spoke before Pedro did because he seemed stumped by the question, “Quien tiene apuro? Yo no,” I said to his grandfather and then winked at Pedro. I wasn’t in a hurry to get married, and I wanted Pedro to know that. To at least know that I wasn’t expecting a ring anytime soon but was open to it.

His grandpa laughs, “Yo tengo apuro, quiero mas bisñetos antes que me muera!” and then everyone in the living room laughed, us included, at his admittance that he wants more great grandchildren before he dies.

Pedro and I just look at each other and widen our eyes, each admitting to each other how fucking awkward this was.

Pedro beats me to a punch when he sees that now I’m stumped with his grandpa’s confession, “Todavia no, Tata, vamos a ver que pasa, todavia ni estamos comprometidos.” Pedro saying that we’re not yet engaged and that then we’ll see what happens makes me blush, and its not the wine.

Pedro’s step-mom yells from the kitchen that dinner is ready, and I sigh a breath of relief. This conversation was getting out of hand. Everyone heads to the kitchen enthusiastically and Pedro and I lag.

He wraps an arm around my waist and gives me a kiss on the cheek, “You OK?”

I just lean into his embrace, “I’m perfect, por que?”

“You know how families are about marriage and kids.”

I just shrug, “I’m seriously OK with it, my family is the same exact way and I mean, its our lives, right? If we ever decide to get married or have kids, that’ll be on us.”

He smiles sweetly, “Just you and me, baby.”

“I fucking love you,” I say and then kiss him deeply, knowing that no one is around us, so I deepen the kiss, catching him off-guard.

He exhales, “Damn, we’ll definitely finish that later.” Then gives me a quick kiss before leading me to the kitchen by the hand.

When we get to the kitchen table, he pulls the chair out for me, and when he sits next to me, he leans over to me and whispers in my ear, “I fucking love you, too.”

Tagssss: @thinemineours  @otherthingsinhead  @x-wingwarriorbbpoe8  @pisss-offf-ghostt @readyforchange2014  @maryan028 @pascalisthepunkest

[everythingisgayandnothinghurts]

Secrets, Secrets are No Fun

This was from a prompt that Carlos got a drunken piercing and decided to hide it for a little while from TK.  Cue the longest week of TK’s week as his mind goes to much worse places.  

The only light they had was from the TV mounted on the opposite wall with the volume turned down low.  TK much preferred the view of his boyfriend’s skin than whatever could be playing on the screen.  He had a hand around the back of Carlos’s neck and his tongue was happily sweeping against the roof of the latino’s mouth to make the other man shiver pleasantly.  It was early enough that they could spend some quality time together before it was time for bed.  His hand slowly moved lower to slip underneath Carlos’s shirt to stroke the soft, toned skin of his stomach when their kiss was gently broken unexpectedly and Carlos was looking at him apologetically.

“Sorry, Carino,” He said softly with one last peck to his lips.  “I’m really sore from my shift today.  I think I’m going to take something for it and head to bed.”

He was gone before TK could think about protesting.  He sat on the couch a bit dumbfounded and unable to process how weird that was.  Carlos had been up to taking himi apart when he had three broken ribs a few months ago and now with some muscle aches he was cutting them off before things could really start to heat up?  TK understood, but he still thought it was pretty strange behavior.  He moodily went back to watching the show playing on TV, the dismissal still rubbing him the wrong way even though it hadn’t been meant to sting.  It wasn’t until a commercial played with someone featured that looked a lot like Alex that he figured out why this was bothering him so much.  

He’d seen this before and it had taken him a minute to realize.

This is what Alex had done for months to him before the failed proposal.  The entire time he was cheating he found any excuse possible to slip away from him when they became intimate.  It was always something believable enough that he couldn’t argue, but still rather strange.  He was put aside and dismissed until Alex had no choice but to get rid of him in pieces.  It made his blood freeze when he realized and something heavy settled on his chest.   Alex had been the reason for his overdose.  He had almost died.  He couldn’t survive that kind of pain again.  It had left him empty for months and he was barely starting to truly be himself.  

The mere thought of having that kind of pain again made his breathing quicken.

He felt absolutely ridiculous at the tears slipping down his cheeks.  He knew this wasn’t like last time.  Carlos would never even think about cheating on him.  Their relationship was true, real and steady.  TK was falling in love again and this time he was completely safe with Carlos holding his heart.  He was being awful for even thinking this was the same thing.

Then again, hadn’t he thought the same thing when Alex pulled away?

~~

“Are we really back to this, Strand?” Judd’s voice rang out across the locker room and this was really the worst day he could have picked to start a fight.  Carlos had been avoiding him for a week now and his paranoia was getting the best of him and he was so damn angry.  He was angry at himself for once again being too afraid to just ask Carlos if he was cheating, and he was angry at the world for having this happen yet again.  Why couldn’t he just be happy?  Why was that too much to ask?

“Get off my back,” TK snapped in return as he shoved his gear into his locker.  He wanted to be grateful the shift was almost over, but then he had to go home and face Carlos’s weird behavior and have his mind run wild at the possibilities.  His mind had decided Carlos was cheating on him the way Alex had before, but he had no proof in the slightest.  Carlos never went anywhere besides the police station and home as far as he knew.  Except one night last week he had gone out with Michelle to that same gay club they had taken Paul to drink and have a good time.  TK had had no problem letting Carlos let off some steam with his boyfriend while he was waiting at home with aspirin and a glass of water before tucking a drunk Carlos into bed.  Was that when Carlos had slept with someone else?  DId he want a guy he could go out and have fun with instead of a guy riddled with problems that couldn’t take a sip of alcohol?  

“I’ll get off your back when you get it through your thick skull how to follow an order,” Judd folded his arms across his chest with a mixture of disappointment and anger on his face.  TK knew he had a tendency to take much greater risks when his mental health was suffering and this week he was finding it hard to deal with anything.  He was so scared Carlos was cheating, or had cheated, that he wasn’t sleeping and therefore had been having panic attacks all week.  He was exhausted and missed when everything was peaceful in his small world.   He had run into a fire against a direct order from Judd, and then his dad as well.  The building hadn’t been stable and TK had gone in anyways to save the last civilian inside.  It had been a heroic act, but also a very stupid one that had ignored orders.  “You could have been killed!”

“Well, if I had then you wouldn’t have to put up with someone not listening to you.”  TK knew that Judd was still suffering silently with his own problems and his offhand comment about dying on a call was a low blow, but he couldn’t find the energy to care.  

“Man, come on,” Judd pleaded with him.  “Don’t be like that.  We are just looking out for you.  I know you knew that building was compromised.  I wasn’t telling you anything you didn’t already know.  Why would you run into something like that?  I thought you were past the stage of being a spoiled brat.”

TK had to fight against a sob at the light jab that really meant nothing.  He knew he had started this fight and that Judd’s comment was only out of frustration and not of any true malice.  Alex had called him a brat when they would fight constantly.  He always teased him for his dad spoiling him and being his favorite back in New York.  There had just been too many reminders of Alex’s manipulative behavior this week and this was one jab he couldn’t stomach.  

“Kid, talk to me,” Judd’s voice was much softer now as a hand came to his shoulder to stop his path to the showers.  “What’s going on, little brother?  You’ve been off all week.”

“I think Carlos is cheating on me,” TK broke down and told the first person other than himself what he was terrified of.  “He’s been acting weird and pushing me away all week long.  This is how my ex acted for months before he told me he found someone else.  I can’t go through it again.  I can’t handle it.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Judd brought him into a light hug when it was obvious TK’s insubordination was more out of upset than anything.  “Carlos would never cheat on you, I mean that.  He’s not that kind of guy.  He’s crazy about you.”

“I thought that about Alex too,” TK said miserably as he swiped at his eyes and sniffed a few times.  The truth was he would survive Carlos cheating on him, but that kind of pain terrified him.  

“He knows he’d be castrated between your Dad and I if he even thought about cheating on you, kiddo,” Judd teased with a ruffle of his hair.  When TK glanced up he saw the other man’s eyes filled with sympathy and compassion.  “We’ve got your back no matter what, but I really don’t think he would ever even think about it.”

“I’m sorry about today,” TK muttered with his cheeks heating up.  “I act stupid when I have personal shit going on.  It’s a thing that I’m not exactly proud of.”

“You’ll make me grey before I’m forty I swear,” Judd patted him on the back a few times before giving his shoulder a squeeze and letting TK get on with his shower before he would head home.  He really had to talk to Carlos before things got out of hand more than they already had.  He knew the conversation wouldn’t change whatever the truth was.  Who didn’t love living in ignorance sometimes though?

~~~

TK had had the day off and he spent the whole thing pacing around Carlos’s house and psyching himself up for a conversation that made his stomach disappear.  He had to do it tonight and get it over with.  His stuff was already packed up, what little he had acquired over the last few months, and if the case was Carlos had found someone out he would calmly walk out and pick himself up again.  He would not tear himself apart if the worst case scenario was true.  His dad still needed him around and that would have to be enough to keep him strong.  

The headlights swept across the front window and TK sat on the couch with his knee jiggling impatiently as he waited for Carlos to come inside.  He ached for the days when those headlights had him stripping his clothes with a smirk on his face.  It had been ten long days since Carlos had hinted at wanting anything more than a few kisses from him.  Their whole relationship wasn’t about sex, but TK definitely felt closer being physically intimate with a partner.  

“TK?” Carlos closed the front door with a fond smile and took off his shoes.  “I’m so glad you’re here.  I’ve had a long day and seeing  you has made everything else worth it honestly.  Want to order some dinner?”

“Yeah, our usual pizza?” TK was glad for the distraction when the sight of Carlos made his throat tighten.  It was one thing to think of the most amazing man he knew cheating, but seeing those kind eyes and imagining them looking at anyone else the same way had his heart breaking.  

“You alright?” Carlos’s voice softened and of course the world’s best boyfriend would know when he wasn’t okay.  He couldn’t take the kindness right now.  If Carlos was going to break his heart then he needed to just get it over with.  

“Are you cheating on me?” TK’s voice shook horribly as he finally got out the question that had been bothering him for over a week.  He was proud he held his tears back as they instinctively wanted to fall.

“What?  Am I what?” Carlos’s look of shock seemed genuine enough and suddenly TK was thrown back to when he had accused Alex of the same and the waves of anger that followed.  Turns out he was right in the end, but he was afraid he had made Carlos angry at the accusation of something so horrible.  Could he ever understand that he was being judged by another man who had wronged him?  Did Carlos understand that TK was still barely held together with tape and glue after putting himself back together?

“I’m sorry,’ TK mumbled.  “I’m being stupid.”

“Hey, love, look at me,” Carlos’s hand came to cup his cheek as he forced their eyes to meet.  This time he couldn’t hold the tears back.  “I am so sorry for whatever I did to make you think that.  I would never do that to you.”

“You haven’t wanted to be with me for ten days,” TK said shyly as he nuzzled the hand on his cheek.  

Whatever reaction he expected it wasn’t for Carlos to turn the darkest shade of red he had ever seen and start swearing in Spanish under his breath.  

“Carlos?” TK was confused now and wondered what was actually going on.  That reaction wasn’t one of guilt so maybe his fears were as unfounded as Judd had told him they were.  Maybe his anxiety bran was thankfully wrong this time and had blown all of this out of proportion.  

“Dios mio,” Carlos muttered as he stripped off his shirt slowly and TK couldn’t miss the wince when he did so.  “I did this and I was too embarrassed to show you until it was healed.”

TK followed the vague gesture to his boyfriend’s chest and couldn’t miss the red and inflamed skin there.  He looked closer and saw a shimmer of silver and realized a ring was framing Carlos’s right nipple.  A fucking ring was sitting right there and had been the reason for so much grief.  One barely suppressed giggle was all it took before TK was laughing harder than he had in weeks and having to lean on the back of the couch to keep him upright.  The red deepened on Carlos’s cheeks as his boyfriend crossed his arms and looked away.  

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” TK gasped out as he tried to reign in his laughter and try to figure out what was going on.  “When the hell did that happen?”

“The night I went drinking with Michelle,” Carlos muttered   “Drunk me is a complete idiot and thought this was a good idea.  I thought you might hate it, but I didn’t take it out in case you liked it but then I wanted it to look better before I showed it to you.”  Carlos sighed a long suffering sigh before his brow furrowed and he looked at TK with a level look.  “Why would you ever think I was cheating?”

“It’s what my ex did,” TK replied, his mood sobering as quickly as it had broken down in laughter.  “When he was two timing me he pushed me away for weeks before that and called me crazy when I mentioned something was wrong.  I’m sorry I assumed the worst.”

“I’m so sorry,” Carlos came close, pressing a kiss to his cheek.  “That must have been awful for you.”

“Work hasn’t loved me this week.” TK grinned at him and felt the tension that had gathered in his stomach finally leave.  He happily wrapped his arms around Carlos’s waist and looked thoughtfully at the piercing next to his line of sight.  “I think drunk Carlos has some pretty good ideas.  The piercing suits you.”

“That’s all that matters is what you think.” Carlos hugged him tightly and TK surged onto his toes to kiss Carlos deeply like he hadn’t had a chance to all week.  

“We can have some real fun with that,” TK whispered against Carlos’s lips as he led him back to the bedroom.  He was planning some pleasurable torture for the week he had just endured due to a tiny piece of metal.  

[emmashq]

Claudia Fernandez: Claudia, Clauds, Claude

twenty four years old; november 27

cis woman; she/her

pansexual; panromantic

artist, bartender at coast city country club & resort

label: the addict

adventurous, artistic, friendly, charismatic, funny, loyal, creative, sociable, blunt, lazy, unhinged, self-hateful, disorganized, impulsive

you might recognize them as ( lauren jaurgeui ), or from their aesthetic; ( all black outfits, a messy art smock, weed, and psychedelics ).

FAMILY. father; deceased & mother; deceased & brother back in Miami

more about claudia.

(( TW: Death, Drug Abuse, Child Abuse ))

Claudia Ezmeralda Fernandez was born in Las Vegas, NV to Cuban immigrants. She lived in a lower class neighborhood with her parents and her brother for the majority of her childhood. Their life was simple, but Claudia didn’t mind. She had little supervision, and often she ran off to parties and snuck into bars and clubs with her friends in high school. She was immediately drawn to the party life, and she thrived off of it. But she loved her family more than anything as well. She often spent time with her favorite person, her dad, painting, drawing and learning everything he knew about art. He was a creative and talented man and Claudia wanted to learn everything from him.

That was cut short though. When she was 15, life turned upside-down when her parents were killed by a drunk driver while on the way to pick up her brother from a sleepover he didn't want to be at anymore. Claudia was out at a party with her friends at the time. They were moved in with their abusive uncle, who blame Claudia's brother for the death of his own brother. It was okay at first, but he eventually took to the bottle and became an abusive alcoholic, especially towards Claudia's brother. She became more protective of him, even carrying around her spikey bat everywhere. Since her parents died, her and her brother relied on each other for everything.

Since her parents died, Claudia found it easy to get herself into trouble. She began selling drugs to the kids at school, and even started selling drugs to some adults too. It was dangerous, and it wasn't glamorous but her uncle eventually got to the point in which he couldn't take care of Claudia and her brother. Terrified of going into the system and being separated from her brother, Claudia did everything she could to keep them both away from that. She used the little extra money she made to support her growing coke addiction. Drugs, partying and sex were the only ways the Claudia felt relief from the pain of loosing both parents so violently and struggling to support her and her brother.

Claudia always dreamed of getting out of Vegas. So. After their high school graduation, she got on the back of her boyfriend’s motorcycle and they never looked back. They made coast city their home, and their bitches. Being in an open relationship makes that very possible. In fact, Claudia prefers it. She loves her boyfriend, but also lives for adventure. 

wanted connections.

little/twin brother - must be at least have latino

exes (men, women and anyone in between)

hook ups

cousins

friends from miami

fwbs

co workers

smoke buddies / drug buddies - someone she makes bad decisions with

[motleycrueimagine]

This Ain’t a Love Song - Part Five - Nikki Sixx Fan Fiction

Words count:   2266

Warnings: Language, drrug use

N/A: Okay so i’m not a huge  fan of this chapter, I tried to re.-rwite this a million times but it was still not looking as I had pictured it. I hope you still like it, i can’t wai to go on posting, I have so many ideas for this story. I let you red now, as always taglist is open and feedbacks are really appreciated. xx

Huge thanks to @blonde-shamrock

Summary:

Maya Prescott has done anything possible to fix her life. It was 1977 when she left her groupie life: no more parties, no more concerts, no more drugs, alcohol or casual sex, just to achieve a full standard life. Now it’s 1981 and after a four years disappearance  Maya Prescott unexpectedly shows up to the party of one of the most promising emerging bands of the LA’s rock’n roll scene: Motley Crue. But what should be her last ride is destined to change her life in so many unexpected ways.  

TagList: @motleycrueee  @babygal-babygal@unknownoblivion @sweetshutter

Masterlist

12 December 1981

Music was high and so was I. It was one in the morning and I was working my shift at the club. It was half empty; there weren’t many people around Christmas time, because Christmas made family men feel guilty about spending their free time in a strip club. They felt guilty telling their wives that they were at a business meeting while they were actually here drooling on beautiful young bodies.

“Princesa, can you take some shots to the girls in the privé?” Anita asked me with her super Latino accent. She was amazing, and one of my best friends. She was the one that offered me this job, since the other bar girl was convicted for taking part in drug trafficking.

“Sure, baby.” I filled the shot glasses and brought ‘em in the back of the building were the staffroom was. “Okay girls, here is Ruby’s tequila, whiskey for Molly, rum for Brittany and Britney, vodka the rest of you gurls…” I handed the shot glasses to all the girls that were working in the privé and then kept one for myself.

“Honey I still don’t get why you’re still working as bartender and not on the stage with us,” Andrea said while leaning the empty glass back on the tray. I gave her a side eye while fixing my bra-top in front of the mirror.

“Because I could not stand freaks that stare at me all night long, and I would definitely break too many hearts.” The truth was a bit different but she did not need to know it.  

“Now that you’re drunk, your tits are up and the makeup is done, go make some money.” I gave Ruby a gentle spank before going back to the bar.

“Mi amor! Can you go grab a box of Jack?” Anita asked me, she was in a hurry as she was serving an unusual quantity of customers. I didn’t reply, I just went and grabbed a box of it from the warehouse, going back to help her. There was a little crowd of people, boys and girls that seemed already pretty euphoric and drunk.

“What can I offer you guys?” I asked emptying the box on the counter.

“Three bottles of Jack, and maybe a blowjob?” I looked up at the guy, he had a drunk smile on his face.

“For the Jack I can satisfy you right now, for the blowjob, I’m afraid that you’ll have to wait till the end of my shift.” I smiled. Having to deal with people like that was part of the job.

“Oh! Oh! Oh! The shot girl gives blowjobs? I want one too!” And as I heard that voice, I knew that karma was against me. Again.

“I blew you once already, Vince… You know I don’t like to repeat myself.” I was just as surprised as he looked. I was also surprised that he remembered who I was. The other guy laughed while bringing his three bottles and then he went away.

“Well, hello there,” he smiled with his typical bad boy attitude. He leaned his elbow on the counter and rested his hands on-top of each other. “Let me say I’m kinda surprised to see you here,” he seemed to chuckle, “Where’s Hannah?”

“In jail.” I answered nonchalantly, “What brings the Motley squad over here?” I asked, taking his same position with the elbow on the counter.

“Obviously my birthday.” Nikki’s voice joined the conversation, he mimicked both of us. “Were you telling each other secrets?” His omnipresent sarcastic grin appeared.

“Oh Mr Sixx is getting older,” I started with a wide smile, “I should end my shift soon, if you’re still here I’ll join you guys for a drink.” Nikki got back standing straight, giving me a look as if he was inspecting me. “Are you checking if I’m cool enough to hang out with you guys?” I asked then as if I was challenging him.

“Actually, I was checking if we were cool enough to hang out with you. You know we haven’t seen you in a while.” I opened my arms with a laugh “I’m a busy girl, honey.” And I really had been. Since the disaster in court I had worked my butt off to show to that fucking judge that I could take care of my child without any problem.

“Well busy girl, see you later then.” And after leaning over the counter to grab a bottle he left towards one of the tables to enjoy the girls dancing on the stage.

—

It was three in the morning and still I wasn’t done with my tasks. I was in the back listening to a mix tape that one customer had recorded for one of our strippers: it was a compilation of the best 70’s songs, and right now Brain Damage was playing softly while I was drying out some of the glasses.

“And if your head explodes with dark forebodings too I’ll see you on the dark side of the moon,” I was singing along absent-mindedly.

The music and the repetitive sound of the prehistoric dishwasher washing the last batch of glasses prevented me from hearing the steps that came across the door behind me.

“You raise the blade, you make the change, you re-arrange me’ till I’m sane, you lo-“

“Let me say that singing isn’t exactly your forte.” I jumped in my place as a voice broke in the room, causing me to drop a glass out of scare. Pieces of glass scattered all over the floor.

“Shit! Nikki, don’t you dare doing it again!” I warned him as he chuckled at my reaction.

“Doing what?” He asked walking calmly towards me and leaning his lower back on the counter.

“Not announcing your presence when entering a room.” I specified while picking up the glass pieces. “You scared the fuck out of me,” I kept going, “And you made me break a glass,” I complained while a shard cut my finger. “Oh amazing…” my rant continued. Nikki was still looking at me with an amused grin on his face.

“Why are you having a meltdown over a glass?” he questioned me quietly. I stood going towards the sink to wash my fresh cut. I huffed at his question.

“I’m not having a meltdown. I’m just tired and I need a drink.” I mumbled while water was washing out my blood.

“And a fuck…” he added enjoying my glare… if only looks could kill….

“With you? Surely not. But thanks for the offer, I know you would gladly sacrifice yourself but I’ll pass.” I turned off the tap and dried my hands with paper.

“C’mon you hurt me last time… You fucking fell asleep, that’s not fair!” He protested keeping the conversation on a sarcastic vibe. I got closer to him.

“Poor baby… But now that I think about it the one who left me alone in your room when we were just about to fuck it’s you.” I let him notice with an eloquent glare.

“That’s an insignificant detail.” He mumbled encircling my hips. We were too close for my taste “Plus today is my birthday.” I smiled back as I felt his hands moving from my hips to the back of my bare thighs.

“It was yesterday. But I guess you’re still expecting a gift.” I completed his sentence while his hands ran up to my ass. I stretched my arms over his shoulders “With such a short notice I couldn’t find anything more suitable.” He looked confused when noticed that the reason why I had embraced him was because I wanted to open the cabinet behind his head. I took a tin can from it, with the word “TIPS” written on with a black marker. Once I had opened it, between wrinkled money and coins, I drew a small plastic bag filled with the precious white dust. I waved it in front of his face.

“Powdered sugar for the birthday cake,” I jokingly said while abandoning the can on the counter behind him.

“I think I just caught a nasty girl here.” He squeezed my butt with an enigmatic smile, before letting me free to move to align lines on the metallic counter.

“Just, don’t tell the boys they would be jealous and I would have the duty to offer them some too,” I stated before looking at me “Credit card?” I asked waiting with my hand palm facing up.

“I thought you weren’t doing drugs anymore.” Nikki opened up his wallet handing me a brand-new card.

“Well I’m afraid that I would not be able to handle all my shifts without this,” I explained while starting to prepare the rails.

The last period my life had been more than frantic: I kept working at the music shop as always, but I had also covered Hannah’s shifts here at the club, and every now and then I helped in a restaurant downtown. I was trying to raise money to be able to pay a decent photoshoot in order to get auditions in the modelling industry. You could be the prettiest but if you had bad photos it would be almost impossible to get a real paid job. To have good photos you had to have a good photographer and they were really expensive…

Nikki shrugged “It will be our secret then.” I went first blowing a whole rail by covering my right nostril. I sniffed up one or two times while picking up with my index finger the coke that had remained on the surface to let it dissolve on my tongue.

“Ladies first.” I stated before letting Nikki the access to the blow. Hot Stuff started playing in the background and I started dancing to it while putting the bag of coke in my pocket.

Nikki took my hand and finally we joined the guys to the party.

—

The sun was rising in front of us, I was laying with my back on the sand - I don’t know how but we had ended up in Santa Monica. I was laughing out loud because Nikki had engaged and already lost argument with Mick.

“Yeah keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there, kid.” I already loved that freaking men. After killing the bassist with words Mick stood up and left towards an unknown destination.

I was crying; Nikki was sulking.

“Oh c’mon you were already fucked when you started,” It was my attempt to console him, but instead I started laughing again, hiding my face on his shoulder.

“Yeah keep laughing Maya you’re really supportive.” I shook my head try to recompose myself. I leaned my arm onto his chest, trying to reach the pack of cigarettes that was resting in his left hand, he moved it away from my fingers.

“Hey!” I protested stretching my arm a little more over him to reach my desired nicotine.

“You laughed at me; you lost the right to share this with me.” I raised my brow. “Are we five years old now?” I asked temporarily giving up on my attempt.

“I don’t know,” he shrugged putting the pack in his pants pocket, “Maybe if you were nicer to me I could consider the option of giving you a cigarette.” I rolled my eyes pointing my elbows on the sand. He turned his head to look at me.

“Haven’t I been nice to you? I gave you free blow, you should show a little appreciation for that.” I remarked while putting a little distance between us. Nikki pinched my side playfully causing me to giggle, “Seriously?” I asked amused while raising my brow.

He pulled me closer again “Can you shut up for a while?” Nikki demanded; an annoyed puff left my lips.

“I’d be silent and nice if you gave me a cigarette.” The bassist ignored me completely, crossing his left arm behind his head and closed his eyes. Great. He was falling asleep without giving me the object of my desire just as I had done last time when we were together. So, I was there silent and carving for some smoke, I did what I would have usually done - that is, take what I wanted myself. My hand slid across his chest lightly. I looked up - he seemed dozed off so I kept going gently reaching his pants and the pocket where the pack of cigarettes was hidden and took it.

“How comes that you always end up with your hands in my pants, but you never do what you are supposed to?” Nikki’s eyes were now open and chained to mine.

“How comes that all you can think about when I’m around are sexual things?” I teased him while taking a cigarette and lighting it.

“It must be for that beautiful lips, I can’t help but wonder how they would perfectly…” “Get a fucking room!” Vince yelled at us. He was sitting about ten feet from us, hugging a girl I had just found out was actually his wife.

I raised my middle finger towards the blonde while still looking at Nikki “Keep dreaming Sixx, it is not going to happen.” Then I got up from the sand, brushing my hands over my pants to get rid of the grains. “Well, it was nice till it lasted. I have to get back home and get ready to work.” And together we all left a few minutes later heading back to the city.

[makeupbychio]

Lost & Found // Prologue.

*picture not mine*

Lost & Found ✨

pairing : Calum Hood x foreign female oc.

warnings : mention of drunk people, i think(?).

word count : 998

summary : she’s a dancer with a normal life in her country located at the end of the world, who would believe that even this things happens far away? that’s where calum and she were found but people could be lost and found multiple times.

notes : hi babies so i’m writing this serie because i have in mind a lot of ideas and i’m trying this writing thing hehe so i hope you like it, i know that is a foreign female oc and i still wrote everything in english (and just a few word in spanish) lol but you got the point.

Some of the events are based on my or other people experiences so it’s good to write them to get them off my head and i’m gonna change the time of some events.

Enjoy and as english is not my first language and it’s my first fic feel more than welcome to talk to me about opinions, suggestions, ideas, etc. thank you , love you xx. 💖

fic serie is inspired by Lost & Found by Jorja Smith (listen to the song in the link to understand/enjoy the prologue and chapter 1 next)

I never thought I would ever find

Something so assured but so fine (but so fine)

I'd fantasize that you'd come around

Focus and your dreams turn to reality

...

Present Day

Her boyfriend just arrived home, “babe, i’m home! i got a surprise for you” he says with a lot of excitement on his voice.

“i’m upstairs!” she says running to clean up everything on the bathroom before he enters the room.

He appears on the bedroom saying hi to his girlfriend with a kiss.

“what is the surprise? i can feel the excitement” she says with a flirty voice trying to hide the fear to him.

“i just got tickets for a concert tonight” he says moving his eyebrows.

She saw the name of the artist printed on the tickets and says to him “wow” because she was not expecting to see that name.

3 years ago

“thank you so much Santiago, I'm not quite sure why me and Luke are hugging..🇨🇱” puts Michael on his caption with the picture

...

It’s a windy friday night, the wind was usual in september in Chile, that means that the holidays for the massive celebration for the independence of Chile are coming like around the corner, but with the climate change and how her country is, for Rosie it wasn’t surprised if in a couple hours the wind disappears and it’s hot.

Today her work shift was at night, she has to stay until the closing of the place, yes, a friday night when a lot of people go to the bar but she could not complain because she just works on wednesdays, thursdays and fridays because from monday to wednesday she studies and because saturdays and sundays it’s the turn of her other workmates that just can work those days, like the full time that it’s called.

Also she has good live music every night from a band called “Los Dominós”, they play traditional chilean folk music where the lyrics tell stories of canteens, life in the countryside, seductive stories and things of Chile.But some nights the band play other types of music of South America (like tango and samba, tango was the owner of the place’s favorite),Central America and the Caribbean (like salsa) that brings together several people to the dance floor every night and also you can drink and/or eat something.

Rosie loves the atmosphere and energy that is formed in the bar every night.

Has she had to deal with drunk people and fights? yes, but thanks to the universe she is not alone and she has the best workmate ever,Theo.

The bar “El periodista” she describes as bohemian and set with a vibe like Seb’s club from the movie La La Land but with more warm lights and a lot of pictures that makes the place 100% latin with legendary artists and defenders of human rights from the past.

Despite being only 20 years old (with a medium height) and just turned 18 when Mario, a member of her family, hired her.She is not afraid of the bar just some nights when is very late and she has to return to her home, but she needs the money to cover a part of her studies because her parents didn’t like the idea when she left the architectural career to study what she really loves, dance.

Rosie is quite original in her way of being, acting and thinking.She is one of those people that you don’t meet twice in life according to her friends and family that always emphasized that.

She is quite passionate, fighter for her ideals and always looking for justice that sometimes is an advantage for her and sometimes a disadvantage.

And she never ceases to surprise the rest and one never finishes knowing her according to her loved ones.

Without caring about the prejudices of society, she already has a couple but significant tattoos on her body but not all were visible and some were seen only if she was in bikini, underwear or naked.

With her originality and passion she always thinks that maybe her parents would have preferred her to be just like the most of teenagers, follow trends, listen the same music, etc but well, she likes the way she is.

She has dark brown hair and brown eyes that she inherited from her dad.A look so intense and deep that people always say her look is flirtatious and intimidating even though she wasn’t being flirty, it’s just something natural in her.Sometimes she excuse herself saying “it must be a latino thing, you know, the tastiness we have inside” but deep inside she knows that not everyone had her look.

What sometimes makes Rosie uncomfortable is her body (even when she is a dancer) because she has curves, big thighs and not much bust but she works daily on self esteem.

...

It’s 10 pm when Rosie is cleaning glasses and thinking about her bed and how her dog should be waiting for her to sleep and her mind goes to another place by asking herself in which other place this is happening? maybe Cuba? maybe Mexico? she’s never going to know where exactly but she knows that people are having a good time like this in another place.But that thought was interrupted when she heard the door open and see a boy go into the bar, he has honey blond curls and hazel/green eyes that can be seen from a good distance.He looks like a character of a biker movie or like Grease with his leather jacket, shoes and shirt.

The boy is clearly surprised in a good way by the atmosphere and all the people dancing because he smiles immediately.That’s when Rosie realizes that he’s not from the area and that she will attend to him she says to Theo, who answers “okay” to Rosie thinking why the boy’s face is very familiar to him but he can’t remember where he had seen that face before.

[ibangtanthings]

Fake Love - pt 2

Hiding the relationship was not as serious as others might have made it out to be. It felt natural actually.

The two of you were never the type to be overly affectionate.

Everytime you saw other people's PDA, it felt weird and you wondered why you never felt the urge to have this romantic and overly dramatic relationship.

Yoongi wasn't huge on PDA either and sometimes the secret kisses behind closed doors, the small nudges he gave you when the other members were around, and the looks that he gave you when he knew exactly what you were thinking; well it was exciting being so secretive.

It felt crazy knowing that when you first met, you thought he despised you.

The first six months of working with him were brutally silent and awkward. He made no effort to get to know you.

It took months of hanging out with the whole group multiple times, letting him get to know you through those small experiences outside of work.

Somehow he began liking you as a person and then gained the confidence to open up.

He just needed time to read you, time to decide if he wanted to be your friend. Ultimately he wanted you to be his.

"You know when we were in the practice room and I saw you DJ for the first time, I thought that was pretty hot." He chuckled.

"Shut up." You laughed, pushing his chair away from yours.

"No, really. I thought it was cool. I didn't expect it at all" he explained. "I think that's when I first realized how much I like you."

"That day? That moment?" You grinned.

Since then you had overseen the music played in the dance room multiple times whenever the others wanted to mess around and have fun.

You had an extensive grasp on most genres regarding what songs were popular. Hoseok's music taste was actually the closest to yours when it came to hip hop and dance hall.

But you recalled the first day Yoongi was there, laughing as 3J and Jin tried their shot at EDM and Latino hits with their impromptu choreography. He never said anything to you that day but now that he was revealing his thoughts, he did seem a bit more relaxed that day around you.

"I guess it was one of the many moments." He shrugged.

"Tell me more." You eagerly hugged your knees and waited.

"When you took care of me that time I got sick. Things were still awkward then, but that's when I knew that you were a good person."

That day was scary because everyone had gone home.

....

He was sleeping in his studio for a long time. You heard him complaining that it was too hot and he wasn't the type to talk out loud when he was alone.

When you walked in that's when you noticed his blue lips and his skin was paler than ever.

"Yoongi." You wanted to touch his forehead but physical contact would be weird and uncomfortable for him especially.

"Oh, Y/N." He said with a weird sniffle.

His voice was coarse.

"Sit down." You only touched his arm. "Are you feeling sick? I think you're dehydrated."

"Hm? Oh yeah. I pulled an all nighter and I started feeling weird about an hour ago?" He said as he laid down instead.

He was definitely tired.

You ran out to get some water and by the time you got back he was asleep. However, getting water into his system again was important.

"Yoongi..." You tapped his shoulder.

Nothing...

"Yoongi, you need water." You said loudly.

"You're right." He said waking up and sitting up as if nothing happened.

You chuckled at his response.

"Thanks." He said chugging down the whole bottle.

"You need to drink another two bottles."

"I'm really tired." He sighed.

"I'm sorry." You said, partly because he seemed so exhausted and on the verge of crying, but also because of what you were about to do.

"For what?" He asked.

You pinched the back of his hand and he gasped.

His eyes widened and he looked at you like you were crazy. When you gave him the second bottle, his face turned sour and but he willingly drank it.

"Have you ever been dehydrated before?" You asked, contemplating whether or not you should call a doctor.

"How do you know I'm dehydrated?" He asked.

"Look." You pulled out a small compact mirror from your bag.

He saw his reflection and proceeded to rub his fingers over his lips as he was in disbelief at their blue-purple like color.

"This has never happened before. Am I okay?" He asked.

"You will be after drinking some more water. I'll run to the store and get some melon so you can have something in your system before going to sleep. You'll be sleeping for a long time."

"Ahh really? Hurry back."

You nodded. "Finish the water."

Once again he fell asleep by the time you got back and instead of waking him up again you decided to let him rest.

The water bottles you left were empty but just to be on the safe side, and to prevent any future job loss, you stayed in the studio with him, pulled your own all-nighter to make sure he made it through the small health crisis.

The color of his lips returned after a couple of minutes. His hands were tucked between his legs as he pouted in his sleep.

You felt sorry for him.

How exhausted he must have been and how negligent he was being. In the early morning hours you felt that the danger had passed. He was seemingly dreaming a bit more soundly.

You left a note telling him to take better care of himself and to eat a good breakfast.

The next time you saw him he greeted you with a smile.

.....

"That's when you started trusting me?"

"I shouldn't have." He said sarcastically, even adding in a sigh.

"Why?" You giggled and pulled his chair closer again.

He gave you a soft smile and reached for your hand. "I can never get rid of you now. Ever."

"Why?" You straddled him and placed your forehead against his, leaning in closer.

"Because I love you." His lips said before kissing you softly.

You smirked. "Well aren't you sweet? Suga Suga," you began to sing.

He gently pushed your face away from his and rolled his eyes. You laughed as you got off of him and continued to work.

Some days, like today, you both felt a little more soft for each other, while on other days you guys hardly kissed.

It was fine that way. It was just your style.  

His mere presence was enough to make you content. It was just the same for him.

You didn't even have to talk about it. You guys just knew what days were soft hours and what days weren't.

On days when he was in a bad mood, he actually felt bad for neglecting you the entire day but you reminded him that you understood exactly what he was doing.

He was putting all his worries aside and burying them for another day.

He didn't want to risk taking things out on you, and he didn't want to talk about his issues.

Not because you weren't a support for him but because he hated worrying you.

Something you discouraged him from doing often, but every once in a while he just wanted to escape. He wanted to forget about every thing that made him upset.

During those rare times, he was up for absolutely anything. He even came to a club once, and watched you DJ.

DJ-ing wasn't a regular thing you did however.

That night the owner just thought you were legit since you were a foreigner and the current DJ was apparently more wasted than usual. He let you take over the set and Yoongi was right next to you getting drunk and having the time of his life. Of course he was incognito behind a mask and a cap. Every hair was tucked in and he had no makeup on.

He was your security for the night, you told the owner, but no one in the club gave him a second glance. They were  there to get drunk and party in hopes of landing a one night stand.

He stood right next to you and danced as he took shot after shot. The man could hold his liquor, but by the end of the night, he was a stumbling mess. You had to help him walk and it was the first time you had seen him so wasted. He just talked about how much he loved you and it was great.

The next morning you knew he would pretend like nothing happened. Only later on would he tell you what was on his mind. Only after you guys had created a fun memory together.

....

"It's me, open up." He said through the door.

There was no text, no warning that he was coming. No explanation as to why he was at your house so late.

It was the first time he came over past 7PM but without  hesitation you opened the door.

You could sense his anger. It radiated off of him in the most unnatural way. He wasn't one to get angry. It was very difficult to make him angry.

Yoongi was a serious person and things annoyed him easily but anger wasn't an emotion that he expressed a lot.

"Can I stay here?" He asked, looking into your eyes, kind of pleading silently.

"Of course." You held his face in your hands. "Yoongi, you never have to ask."

He wrapped his arms around your waist and said, "Don't ask me anything."

You kissed him and remained silent as you pulled him towards your bed. Despite it being the first time he would be laying on your bed, you weren't nervous or anxious. He just needed to rest. He was temporarily escaping his life.

The only thing going through your mind was making him feel better somehow, but right now he just needed your company.

As you both laid there, tucked under the covers, he stroked your hair.

"Thanks." He said so low you almost didn't hear him.

It was agonizing because you loved when his voice was so deep and quiet but he was too quiet right now.

"For what?" You asked.

"For everything." He said.

"I didn't do anything." You replied, amused.

He just smirked, giving you a look of disbelief, as if you were being silly.

"Goodnight." He said kissing your forehead.

You wondered how he could say that when it was obviously not a good night for him.

The next morning you were awake and making breakfast in your tiny apartment. It very much resembled a hotel room. From your kitchen you could see him sleeping. How small it must feel compared to his place with the guys.

The smell of bacon had surely woken him up.

He sleepily walked on over and kissed your cheek.

"You're coffee." You handed him an iced Americano.

He sat down by a plate of eggs, bacon and toast with yellow cheese.

"This feels very New York like." He said feeling pleased.

"New Yorker Min Yoongi. I can just imagine the when the two of us are there just going about our day."

"Maybe one day, when I'm old and unrecognizable." He said with a small chuckle.

"Even if we're not together anymore, promise me you won't get a tour guide to show you around. I have to be the one to show you."

"Yeah, even if you hate my guts I'll phone you. Just remember that you promised to show me around." He agreed.

He was definitely in a better mood.

You sat next to him and happily watched him eat. He asked if this was the typical New York breakfast, not an American breakfast but something that is so typically New York like dirty water hot dogs.

"Yes, you would go to a deli and order a bacon, egg and cheese."

"Just one of each?" He interrupted, seemingly puzzled.

"No." You giggled. "That's how you literally say the order but it's an order of a bagel with bacon, egg, and cheese. Or you can get it on a roll of bread. If you just say 'bacon, egg and cheese' they'll put it on a bagel." You explained. "I didn't really have it everyday but many people do. So many people that there are small carts on almost every other corner every morning."

"Just for that?"

"Yeah, and coffee and donuts."

"Ahh....so like a cafe on wheels."

"Exactly. It's super cheap and even high school students could afford a good breakfast on a daily basis."

"This combination is good." He took a huge bite out of his breakfast sandwich. "I should come over every morning."

"Or every night." You quickly added.

He smirked but then he became more serious. "I'm sorry I came without texting or calling first."

"No, don't apologize. Just come over more often, at anytime. I'll give you the spare key."

"Or you could just...move in with me."

"At the dorm?"

He shook his head immediately. "No, why would you even think that." He chuckled. "Why would you ever want to?"

"We can't keep it a secret from them forever."

He turned his body and faced you, making you do the same as he took your hands. "I know but living with seven guys? They would drive you crazy. I meant like, in the same building. I can get you a place. No one would know about it. Only I will. That way we can see each other without having to worry. I've been thinking about this for a while. I'm not just bringing it up randomly."

You looked down, slightly embarrassed. "A place? I don't know. That's a lot of money. Your dorm is in one of the priciest buildings in Seoul. We talked about the money thing..."

Although you had your own money, and enough to get a decent place in Seoul, you had nothing compared to his millions. You didn't feel embarrassed about having less money than he does, actually, it was that it felt weird when he made huge purchases on things you didn't need.

"I have more than I know what to do with. Isn't that what girls look for?" He scoffed sarcastically.

"Yeah, apparently." You laughed.

"If you let me do this for you, then I promise we can tell the guys what's going on."

"And if I don't do this?" You challenged him.

You knew he didn't mean it as the only way to get him to tell the guys about the relationship.

"Then I promise we'll tell them regardless. Are you feeling hurt about hiding it for so long?" He squeezed your hands, urging you to be honest.

You looked at the thin silver bracelet around his left wrist and adored how simple yet perfect it looked on him along with the ring on his right hand.

"Yeah," you said nervously. "It's just getting harder and harder to lie to them you know? They're my friends."

He gave you a gummy smile. "They're my family." He nodded. "I get it. It is getting harder to keep it a secret."

The only reason why it was still a secret was to protect your image from the rest of the staff who would be quick to judge your position in the company. However, lately it wasn't such a huge worry because you got along with everyone, and they too were people you considered friends now.

"Next week then?" He asked, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

It was a surprisingly gentle and affectionate move. Maybe one of the only ones you wished he would do everyday.

You nodded, feeling a wave of nerves and excitement. "How do you think they'll react?"

The image in your head was clear. Hoseok would be shocked, Namjoon would just smile and nod, Jimin and Taehyung would freak like the biggest tea was just spilled, Jin would plot ways to embarrass you guys on the daily and Jungkook wouldn't know what to say.

Nonetheless, they would all be okay with it right?

Nothing would change really. The two of you would still be very discreet and private.

Yoongi was kind of nervously excited too. His smile became adorably soft as he explained how he thought they would react, which was spot on with your thoughts.

Everything felt so weird in that moment. Things were going well. You just hoped they stayed well. In the back of your mind you were always afraid of things turning out bad. That feeling usually came when you were very happy. Right now you took it as a sign. It was okay to be happy you reminded yourself.

________

He was wasted again, passed out on the couch.

"Wake up." You nudged him and he rolled over.

There was no life in his eyes.

"Babe, wake up." You dropped down to your knees and listened for his breathing.

It was unsteady but his pulse was there. He was just too out of it. It would be hours before he came back.

Upset, you searched through his pockets until you found the pills he stupidly craved. Then you flushed them down the toilet.

He could easily get more, that was the most infuriating part. His friends, his team, they were all about making sure the party never ended. At this point he was completely high on cocaine, ecstasy, percocets, who know what else, at ever show.

To stop him from doing the hardcore stuff, you sometimes smoked weed with him so that he would feel like you guys were doing something together but it became too much to handle overtime.

Fight after fight, things had changed for the worse in your eyes but his career was taking off. He was doing what he loved. But at what cost?

"Stop it!" He yelled, pinning you down onto the bed. "You know I can't do this without you. I love you. How can you just say you want to quit?"

"Don't lie to me. I know you cheated. You cheated on me. On me **** !!" You tried to move your arms and get away but his hands pinned your wrists down so hard against the mattress. Infuriated, you began to sob, turning your face away from him.

"No, no nothing happened. Those were just groupies. I kicked them out within half an hour, I was still fucking conscious. They were all over Brian, I swear. I know I'm a shit person but you're the only thing that I can't lose. I know this hasn't been what you expected. I know, but you know what we agreed to before. The moment we stop feeling something we say it. You remember?"

You just continued to cry.

"I haven't stopped feeling anything and you haven't either. So just stop. Stop saying that I'm doing wrong by you when I'm just trying to deal."

"By fucking around everyday and getting so fucked up you can't even get through one recording? This all ends if there's no progress on the next album. We have one month to finish."

"I don't need you telling me every fucking day. I know we have to get it done but they can extend the tour and wait. They won't fire me."

"They'll fire me!" You exclaimed. "They can hire a new producer anytime they want."

"So fucking what!? You can still stay with me on tour. You don't have to worry about anything. Just stop worrying about everything already." He yelled back. "I said I would take care of you."

"Because my job means nothing right? I made you. I produced your album. Ever since you signed with the label things have gone to shit." You took a deep breath and tried not to whimper as you sobbed. "You're always on something. Everyone's always on something. I haven't seen you sober in months."

"Things aren't as easy as they used to be, you know that. Yes, you can say you made me, it's true, but I don't need you anymore in terms of my career. That sounds shitty but it's the truth and it sucks because I need you by my side anyways. I need you Y/N. I can't do this without you. Even when I'm fucked up, I just feel happy that I can see you. It sucks when you hide away. When I'm on something I don't hurt you. No, you hurt me every time you give me that look, like you're ashamed, like I mean nothing to you in that moment."

"It's not that. You guys get too crazy together. Those girls that were supposedly strippers, remember? Do you know how that made me feel? Do you know how stupid I felt? Your friends didn't give a fuck that you have a girlfriend."

"I didn't know they were prostitutes. I didn't stay for the show. You know that." He said.

"But situations like that can get you in trouble. You can get arrested if you, or they, push things too far. You know this. The label won't take an arrest lightly, even if you are their star right now."

"Since when did you become so cold? Stop making us the bad guys here. You don't make an effort to get to know them. It's obvious to everyone that you don't like them."

"I don't want to know them. I don't trust them." You replied. "I know the kind of people they are, and I know you but you're changing."

"You changed too." He said, exasperated. "Don't say you haven't. Sometimes I can't even kiss you. I can hardly touch you anymore. I've given you no reason to be scared of me."

"I'm scared for you. How can I just sit back and watch you self destruct? I know it's hard. This isn't everything we thought it would be, I know, but we're both falling apart, don't you see that?"

"Don't you see that you're the one who's pushing me away? You stopped caring first."

"Why would you think that?"

"It's part of the reason I started using again." He sighed, letting go of your arms and letting you sit up again.

The look on his face showed his deepest worries for the first time in days. Yes, that was the face you were so used to before. It was honest. He rubbed the back of his neck. "Sometimes I wish we never made it big. Failing together would have been much easier."

Then you realized that he regretted everything. He held regret in his heart and that was his worst fear. He used to say that all the time. His worst fear was feeling like things could have gone better if he could just change the past.

"Babe..." You got closer to him.

He looked up at you as you wrapped your arms around him. His hands held your waist but it wasn't a sturdy grasp like usual. His grip was weak. He seemed defeated.

You lowered your head to kiss him and instantly you felt that ache in your chest. That yearning love your felt for him pushed all your thoughts away.

And somehow you just knew that he felt the same way. He was desperate for your touch. It had been months since the last time. Just one night held everything together again for a while. Only for a while.

_________

PART 3