#they also know what stalagmites taste like

[oceanamethyst]

[ynbabe]

Titans x Male reader

Dick: Every time I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.

Kory: Okay, but what is updog?

Rachel : Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.

Gar: Not, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.

Jason: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.

M/N: Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.

Dick: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.

Gar: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

Rachel : No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.

Kory: What’s a henway??

Dick: Oh, about five pounds.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Dick: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.

Kory: What if it bites me and it dies!?

Rachel : Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, Kory, learn to listen.

Gar: What if it bites itself and I die?

Jason: That’s voodoo.

M/N: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Kory: That’s correlation, not causation.

Gar: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?

Jason: That’s kinky.

Dick: Oh my God.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Dick: I CAN'T DO IT!

Kory, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!

Dick: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE

Rachel, saw them walking in: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.

Dick:

Dick: I appreciate it,

Dick: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-

Gar, was the man in the chair: Dick-

Dick: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!

Gar: Dick we gotta-

Dick: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.

Dick: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'

Dick, motioning to M/N and Jason covered in blood, standing in his room’s doorway like the shinning twins: NOT FUCKING THIS

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

*Jason is cooking*

M/N: Any chance that’s for me?

Jason: It’s for Gar. I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need him on my side.

Kory, preparing the med bay: I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

M/N: I just ended a two year relationship.

Jason: Oh, fuck. You good?

M/N: Hm? Oh yeah, I’m fine. It wasn’t my relationship.

*Gar and Rachel fighting from across the room*

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Jason: Do you think different paints have different tastes?

Gar: They do.

M/N: ...Why did you say that with such certainty?

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Jason: Come on, I wasn't that drunk last night.

Gar: You were flirting with M/N.

Jason: So what? He’s my boyfriend .

Gar: You asked him if he was single.

Jason:

Gar: And then you cried when he said he wasn’t.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Jason: What if mayonnaise came in cans?

M/N: Well, that would suck because you can't microwave metal.

Gar: DICK!!! M/N AND JASON ARE BEING WEIRD AGAIN

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Gar, trying a new recipie: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste

Jason, being a bastard: We got spring water

Gar: NO.

M/N, bastard^2 : with EXTRA minerals

Jason: it's like licking a stalagmite

Gar: DON'T COME HOME.

M/N: Mmmmm cave water

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Gar: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY-

M/N: Awwww, you're so adorable! Give me a hug~

Gar: Wh- What? NO, YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH-

Jason, recording: This is so cute.

GUYS!! I just rewatched Titans after a yearrrr and I swear to god idk why Gar is so underrated. He has such a great character arc and he is absolutely HILARIOUS. also I just realised he became like all the male role models he had in his life, like when he used to live with the Doom Patrol, Larry and Cliff were the primary caretakers, they would make the food and give emotional support and then Dick, he was basically a dad to him and Rachel

[silversmoke-20]

Yandere Ruby Gillman

Contents: Alternative Universe, Reader, Gender neutral, cringe, dark content, yandere motives.

AU: Bloody Lagoon is a au where: Ruby only lived in her kingdom.

You met Ruby when you got looped into a terrible storm during one of your fishing expeditions

Poor baby got her hand stuck in one of your crab nets cause she wanted a free meal.

Thankfully a few bandages and a couple of salmon helped this colossal beast back into her usual happy self.

Now you should be panicking, but you couldn't stop laughing at how curious ruby is towards your floating vessel.

She was slightly bumping her head and curiously watching it sway. Even licking it.

"It's a boat sweetie, it's not food." You explained and she stares at you before smiling. "It tastes like stalagmite." She pointed out and you couldn't stop yourself from trying to pinch her squishy cheeks.

Now whenever you go on fishing expeditions, you would always meet up with Ruby, so she can help you with your job.

She was smart and pretty much insanely intelligent for someone who can't speak human dialect well.

She would oftentimes try and keep you out in the ocean for long times. Using her cuteness to advantage.

Now you were also going to be a highschool graduate and going to ask your skater-boy crush connor to a date.

Ruby didn't like that one bit and mumbled something along the lines with, "A potential rival". You heard something different.

Now you also met Ruby's family.... referring to her grandmother and her mother. That was a terrifying experience.

The two just slowly rose from the waters and just towered over you and your boat.

Thankfully ruby was nearby talking to a mermaid with mediocre red hair and saved your life.

Holy shit, Ruby's mom tried to destroy your ship over some misunderstanding. Apparently someone was dropping dangerous fishing equipment and double checking that you aren't the culprit.

Oh! Also ruby scooped you up and held you against her cheeks, as if you were a doll or toy, scared to let go.

Ruby's mother otherwise named Flora took notice of Ruby's odd protective nature towards a human like yourself and just chalked it up to having a genuine friend.

After that incident Ruby's behaviour began to take a dark turn.

She would oftentimes spend her time in the castle's library thinking of some way for you to live in her kingdom.

Ruby would stalk you and watch you sleep through the windows of your room.

Ruby would ask the mediocre red haired mermaid on ways to attract her crush.

Ruby would now try and sabotage any chances of you returning to the mainland.

It was getting annoying as she would question your dislikes and likes.

She would also try and guilt trip you into some weird cryptic shit.

It was getting to the point you just want nothing to do with ruby until-

Feeling a weird feeling covering your body, you sat up and looked around to be in a weird bioluminescence like bedroom, but for giants. You put a hand on your head and suddenly felt odd scales decorating your face. Looking down at your body, you see that your entire body resembles similarly to a skin of sea creature (shark skin) and with a few hints of fish scales.

"Oh! You're awake!" A voice filled with joy causes you to turn to see Ruby swimming into the bedroom with a plate filled with kelp and seaweed. You backed away as she sat the kraken sized plate on her seabed and lightly pushes it towards you. You felt your blood run cold as she looks at you with eyes akin to a predator but hidden behind innocent eyes.

"What's going on, where am I and what the actual hell is happening!" You shouted at ruby with a look of anguish and rage, Ruby's face morphs into a frown, as she picks a piece of large seaweed and begins to munch on it while pushing the plate forward closer to you. "Okay, so basically I've noticed some weird stuff happening around my kingdoms territory and found out that the mermaid's are going to attack oceanside highschool.

You know you should try some kelp, it's pretty good for a Mershark such as you, Oh and someone gave the mermaid's their tridents back." Ruby explains as you look at her with horror as it was quite obvious to who gave the mermaid's their tridents back.

"you're a monster!" You snapped at her with rage and ruby grabs your tiny frame with one hand and pulls you close to her, her bright aquamarine eyes now shifting into one akin of red as a warm heat began to draw in towards her eyes. "You shouldn't call your mate such a hurtful name. I guess you need some reprimanding." She made it sound like it was a well deserved punishment.

"Now try out the hand picked kelp and seaweed dish I made you and maybe, just maybe I can give you....one trout." She said emphasizing on the one salmon with her other hand. Letting you go, you felt your body slowly fall due to the waters environment and softly landed and stare into anything else.

"Enjoy your new life as my future ruler, my little SeaShark!" And with that ruby shuts her bedroom door closed.

_________________________________________

Tagged: @hana-no-seiiki @chadychadyy2k

Next up is D.S.W Chelsea!

Hope you enjoyed on what's to come next!

[icy-popsy]

Riptide incorrect quotes

from ScatterPatter's incorrect quotes generator

Chip: I told Gillion his ears flush when they lie. Jay: Why? Chip: Look. Chip: Hey Gillion! Do you love us? Gillion, covering their ears: No. Jay:

~~~~~~~~~~

Jay: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me Gillion: Okay, but in my defense, Chip bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo. Jay: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!

~~~~~~~~~~

Gillion: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste Jay: We got spring water Gillion: NO. Chip: with EXTRA minerals Jay: it's like licking a stalagmite Gillion: DON'T COME HOME. Chip: Mmmmm cave water

~~~~~~~~~~

Chip: Gillion and I don’t use pet names. Jay: I see. Hey, what do bees make? Chip: Honey? Gillion: Yes, dear? Chip: Jay: Don't ever lie to my face again.

~~~~~~~~~~

Jay: We need a distraction. Chip: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises? Gillion, whispering: My time has come

~~~~~~~~~~

Jay: WHY. why did you give Gillion a KNIFE?! Chip: I’m sorry. He said he felt unsafe. Jay: Now I feel unsafe! Chip: I’m sorry. Chip: … would you like a knife?

~~~~~~~~~~

Gillion: You have to apologize to Jay Chip: Fine. Chip: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

~~~~~~~~~~

Jay: What do you think Gillion will do for a distraction? Chip: They’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do. Building explodes and several car alarms go off Chip: … or they could do that.

~~~~~~~~~~

Chip: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold? Jay: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house. Gillion: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million. Jay: Good thinking.

~~~~~~~~~~

Chip: Come on, I wasn’t that drunk last night. Jay: You were flirting with Gillion. Chip: So what? They're my partner. Jay: You asked them if they were single. Chip: Jay: And then you cried when they said they weren't.

~~~~~~~~~~

Chip: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it Jay: Just rip the bandage off. Chip: It’s Gillion. Jay: Put the bandage back on.

~~~~~~~~~~

Jay: Naturally, we are on the cutting edge of technology. Chip, amazed: Wow… Gillion, to Chip: Well what does that mean? Chip: I don't know. Chip, to Jay: What does that mean?

~~~~~~~~~~

Jay: Why are you on the floor? Chip: I'm depressed. Chip: Also I was stabbed, can you get Gillion, please.

~~~~~~~~~~

[The group is a prison cell that was just hit by an earthquake] Jay: Uh, I'm gonna roll a perception check of… 4, and see if our cell is, uh, in any way damaged by this quake Grizzly: You're in a prison cell :) Gillion: You did great. Well, I got a 10- Grizzly: You're in a prison cell with bars on it :3 Chip: I got a 1! Grizzly: You're in… a cube-shaped place.

[bitchysunflower]

ok i think we all know about the incorrect quotes generator and I'm sad and that little website always brings me joy. so here are some steddie (and the gang) incorrect quotes! there's a lot of them because i have too much free time :D

Steve: Eddie and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's- Eddie: Sentences. Steve: Don't interrupt me.

----

*steve visiting eddie in the hospital*

Steve: Must be hard not being able to laugh Eddie: I do have a sense of humor you know Steve: I’ve never heard you laugh before Eddie: I’ve never heard you say anything funny

----

Steve: Change is inedible. Eddie: Don't you mean inevitable? Steve, spitting out coins: No, I did not.

----

Steve: *Kicks the door down looking panicked* Eddie: What did you do? Steve: Nobody died. Eddie: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

----

Steve: Don’t worry, I know exactly what I’m doing. Everything is going to be fine! Eddie: How can you still say that? Steve: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

----

Steve: *Stubs their toe* FUCK! Eddie: Mind your language! Steve: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”??? Eddie: Steve: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

----

Steve: Can you keep a secret? Eddie: Do you know anything about my life? Steve: No I do not. Good point.

----

Steve: Do you take constructive criticism? Eddie: I only take cash or credit.

----

Steve: I am not out of control! I'm a law abiding citizen! Eddie: Really? Name one law Steve: Don't kill people? Eddie: That's on me. I set the bar too low.

----

Steve: English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though. Eddie: You need to stop.

----

Steve: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds. Eddie: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!? Steve: No! Four to five seconds! Eddie: Too late!!!

----

Steve: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming Eddie: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak

----

Steve: In my defense, I was left unsupervised. Eddie: Wasn't Robin with you? Robin: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

----

Steve, in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career! Eddie, in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you’re staying home and having my kids Robin: what the fuck are you guys doing? Steve: playing systemic oppression

----

Steve: I told Eddie their ears flush when they lie. Robin: Why? Steve: Look. Steve: Hey Eddie! Do you love us? Eddie, covering their ears: No. Robin:

----

Steve: Eddie, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Eddie: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later Steve: Ok, I love you too, I’ll just ask Robin.

----

Steve: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste Eddie: We got spring water Steve: NO. Robin: with EXTRA minerals Eddie: it's like licking a stalagmite Steve: DON'T COME HOME. Robin: Mmmmm cave water

----

Robin: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Eddie? Eddie: … No. Steve: I do! Robin: I know, Steve. Steve: I’m sad! Robin: I know, Steve.

----

Steve: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me. Eddie: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you? Steve: Yes! Robin: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

----

Steve: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death? Eddie: How am I supposed to know? Robin: You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult. Eddie: *sighs* Eddie: You wouldn't be trapped.

----

Steve: While I’m gone, Eddie, you’re in charge. Eddie: Yes!!! Steve, whispering: Robin, you’re secretly in charge. Robin: Obviously.

----

Steve: You have to apologize to Eddie Robin: Fine. Robin: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

----

Steve: I know you snuck out last night, Eddie. Robin: Play dumb! Eddie: Who's Eddie? Robin: NOT THAT DUMB!!!

----

Steve: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place. Eddie: You people already know too much about me. Robin: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.

----

Steve, trying to ask Eddie out: Would you like to stay for dinner? Robin: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?

----

Steve: Hey Eddie, Eddie: Yes? Steve: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on? Eddie: Eddie: Where’s Robin?

----

Steve: I trust Eddie. Robin: You think they know what they're doing? Steve: I wouldn't go that far.

----

Steve, about Eddie: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group. Robin: Are we stealing them? Nancy: New or used? Steve: Wonderful responses, both of you.

----

Steve: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling? Eddie: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Robin? Robin: Probably “road work ahead”. Nancy: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

----

Steve, Eddie, and Robin are sitting on a bench Nancy: Why do you guys look so sad? Steve: Sit down with us so we can tell you. *Nancy sits down* Eddie: The bench is freshly painted.

----

Steve: How did none of you hear what I just said? Eddie: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours. Robin: I got distracted about halfway through. Nancy: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

----

Steve: You lying, cheating, piece of shit! Eddie: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD Steve: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING ROBIN WITH ME Nancy, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

----

Steve: I think we're missing something. Eddie: Teamwork? Robin: Cohesion? Nancy: A general sense of what we’re doing?

----

Steve, setting down a card: Ace of spades Eddie, pulling out an Uno card: +4 Robin, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you Nancy, trembling: What are we playing

----

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle. Steve: Shit. Eddie: Wait, three? Cop: Yeah? Robin: OH MY GOD NANCY FELL OFF!!!

----

Steve: *Gently taps table* Eddie: *Taps back* Robin: What are they doing? Nancy: Morse code. Steve: *Aggressively taps table* Eddie: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

----

Steve: Eddie, I'm sad. Eddie: *Holds out arms for a hug* It’s going to be okay. Robin: Nancy, I'm sad. Nancy, nodding: mood.

----

Steve: Can I be frank with you guys? Eddie: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help. Robin: Can I still be Robin? Nancy: Shh, let Frank speak.

----

[captainclaudeandthehiddenlogs]

Heyyia Claude! 🥰

Ho bisogno de tu ayuda con una mia fic...Qual è per te la città più romantica della Toscana? E che tipo di attività possiamo fare allí?

Better ask first someone native then go look in articles or something...Seems more legit that way! :D

[Ignore the obvious Spanish I left there... 🤭]

Ciao! 🥰

Coucou, Red! Merci de ton patience 🩷 et pour ton ask!

I'm going to answer in English, maybe it can be useful for other people as well! I'm always happy to talk about my region, i love it so much, so thank you again for asking my recs!

I think it depends a lot on the vibes that you are looking for. I will give you an overview of different options, i hope that they can be inspiring. If there's something you like, i can go more into detail! Let me know if i can be of help with anything!

তততততততততততততততততততততততত

If you and your characters love art, Florence is an amazing city.

(Duomo di Firenze, Cattedrale di Santa Maria del Fiore, credits pic)

Its art, history and architecture are extraordinary. The Uffizi Gallery (Galleria degli Uffizi) is an absolute must if you love Renaissance. A great way to admire Botticelli, Raffaello, Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and Tiziano's art, in one museum.

Moreover, you can walk around Cathedral Square (Piazza del Duomo), where you can see the Cathedral built by Brunelleschi, Giotto's Campanile and the Baptistery, and Piazza della Signoria, where you can find Palazzo Vecchio, David by Michelangelo and Loggia dei Lanzi, and admire their masterpieces for free. 🏛️

You could also visit the Boboli Gardens, where you can enjoy the Italian garden style, created by the Medici family, that became a model for many European courts.

And a night at the theatre could be a great idea for a date! At Teatro Verdi, for example, there's plenty of different shows!

Obviously, these are just some ideas.

By the way, if i have to be honest, i love Florence, and i always gaze in awe at the beauty of its monuments ...but it's also a little chaotic for my taste. Sooo, maybe for a romantic getaway I would choose something else. (It depends on what you like!)

(Boboli Gardens, credits pic)

তততততততততততততততততততততততত

For something more adventurous, what about Grotta del Vento? It's a beautiful system of caves in the Apuan Alps (Garfagnana), with stalactites and stalagmites. Its karst environment is unique and fascinating. 🦇

(credits pic)

তততততততততততততততততততততততত

A Tuscanian city that I love is Lucca.

I adore walking along the old city walls (you can go there by bike too!): a panoramic walkway overlooking the city that conceals secret passages, hideaways and ramparts. Their secular trees make the view magic in every season. In autumn, foliage is beautiful! 🍂

(credits pic)

তততততততততততততততততততততততত

If you and your characters love the sea and the story is set in summer, you could take into consideration a mini cruise in the Tuscan Archipelago. In one or two days, you can explore some of its islands, like Giglio, Elba, Giannutri. Swimming there is beautiful. If you don't like the idea of spending time on a boat, the coasts of Monte Argentario are wonderful too! 🌊

(Isola del Giglio, credits pic)

তততততততততততততততততততততততত

There could be less activities than in bigger cities, but I think you could also go for a romantic getaway in one (or more) of our hill towns. Great view, amazing food, and an enchanting experience! And it feels more intimate than in the main cities. Monteriggioni, Cortona, Pienza, San Gimignano, Volterra... The atmosphere is so poetic...And you can spend some time in the surrounding countryside, idyllic!

(Eremo Le Celle, Cortona, credits pic)

তততততততততততততততততততততততত

For a lovey-dovey day, you could write about a day at the thermal springs! There's plenty of thermal baths in Tuscany, and there are usually hotels and spas where you can have lunch, sleep, have a couples massage and enjoy the hot springs. Rapolano, Sassetta, Sorano, Montecatini,... In Tuscany you can find lots of thermal springs, so you could also have a day at the thermal baths and one in a nearby town.

(Terme di Sassetta, credits pic)

তততততততততততততততততততততততত

Wherever your characters go, I think food play a big role if you want them to enjoy their Tuscan trip to the full.

Pasta is always delicious. There are lots of different types of pasta, for example pici and pappardelle (long pasta), tortelli (filled pasta, the filling depending on where you are: for example in Maremma they are filled with ricotta and spinach, in Mugello they are filled with potatoes), topini (small lumps of dough made with potatoes, flour and eggs). Pasta is our first course, in Italy it's not served as a side dish for meat or fish.

(Warning: I'm going to talk about meat dishes. If this makes you uncomfortable, skip until 🌱)

Pasta may be served with ragù (Bolognese sauce, a meat-based sauce), ragù and aglione (aglione is a delicate type of garlic), melted butter and sage, mushrooms, or tomato sauce. 🍝

(Pappardelle al ragù, credits pic)

Before pasta, as an appetizer, you may have cured meats (salame, prosciutto, finocchiona, lardo di Colonnata,...), cheese (various types of pecorino), coccoli (lumps of fried dough) and crostini (slices of bread served with ragù, mushrooms, fegatini which is a sauce made of chicken liver, or other sauces...).

(Traditional Antipasto Toscano - Tuscan appetizers, credits pic)

I don't live by the sea, so i know meat dishes better 😅 As second course, a Bistecca alla Fiorentina or a Tagliata di Manzo (beefsteaks - rare is the perfect way to have them but i get it that it's not to everyone's taste) may be perfect. 🥩

(I also enjoy pizza so much, and you can eat it everywhere in Tuscany, but the foods i've written about are more traditional)

🌱

If your characters enjoy drinking, Tuscany is famous for its wines (like Chianti Classico, Morellino di Scansano, Vernaccia di San Gimignano, Brunello di Montalcino, Bolgheri Sassicaia). Desserts go well with vinsanto (a dessert wine). 🍷

For dessert, you might go for cantuccini (almond biscuits) with vinsanto (we dip them in the wine). If the story is set during Christmas holidays, ricciarelli (almond and sugar biscuits) and panforte (a dessert with almonds and candied fruits) are some of our traditional desserts.

(Cantuccini and vinsanto, credits pic)

You may have coffee after the dessert. And, after generous meals, ammazzacaffè (a small glass of liqueur) too. General recommendation for your characters (and for tourists visiting Italy): it's better not to ask for a cappuccino during lunch or dinner (please 🩷)!

তততততততততততততততততততততততত

I hope this is useful, sorry it took me some time, and please, let me know if i can help you somehow! Je suis si heureuse que tu es en train d'écrire une fanfiction qui se déroule en Toscane 🩷🩷🩷 Je te fais de gros bisous, bonne soirée et joyeuses Pâques 🌷🐰🐣

~ Claude ~

[silent-dragon]

TWST OC Profile ~ Maju DarkOnyx

Personal Info

Name: Maju DarkOnyx

Nickname: Shiny - Naomi

Sir Quartz - Raede

Gender: Male

Physical Age: 20

Species: Crystallize Alien Lizard Hybrid/Clone

Birthday: ??

Zodiac: ??

Height: 295cm/9ft'6in 

Orientation: Omnisexual

Eye Color: Vibrant Red

Hair Color: Deep Teal & Yellow

Homeland: Majutal(His own planet)

Family: Raede Nightbloom - Brother(Somewhat)

Matt DarkOnyx - Son

Mari DarkOnyx - Daughter

Daido - Brother(Somewhat)

Twist of Spacegodzilla from Godzilla vs. Spacegodzilla

School Info

School: Night Ravens College

Dorm: Gracery (@/forestwispocs dorm)

School Year: 4th

Occupation: Geologist,Gemologist,Goldsmith,Miner

Club: Science

Best Subject: Alchemy

Other Info

Dominant Hand: Left

Favorite Food: Magical Crystals

Least Favorite Food: Non-Fruit/Vegetable/Herb Plants

Dislikes: Daido,Other Clones(Not as much as Daido),Small Spaces,Short Door/Hallway entrances,Humans using Slang he doesn't know

Likes: Crystals,Gemstones,Metal,Luminescence,Crunchy Food,Causing Drama/Mayhem,Pop Rock Candy,Kleptomania(Only towards other Clones or Daido)

Talents: Inhuman Strength,Flight,Telekinesis,Crystal/Gemstone Knowledge,Alchemy,Jewelry Crafting

Unique Magic: Crystal Cracked - With a focused smack of his tail on solid ground can create crystal stalagmites that rise out of the ground in direct his tail is pointing or towards a person obstructing them.

Personality: He is somewhat narcissistic as he is very selfish when it comes to his appearance. Doesn't judge others' looks though as he thinks why care doesn't affect him.(Daido & Clones however he can't help it) Has an eccentric way of befriending others by just declaring you his friend now without much effort. Is also pretty feral and naughty at times. Way to overconfident to some people's tastes so annoys easy.

Fun Facts: Maju is from space so isn't knowledgeable on this world's ins and outs but he is learning. Slang annoys him due to him not knowing what most of it means yet.

His radioactive glow

He came to this world upon feeling the energy of Daido and the other clones and being curious. Sad to say he was interested but now disappointed about them. He is very indifferent towards them despite being similar.

•

Loves to have a shiny appearance from his outfit to tail he loves to shine. He polishes his crystals daily so never dull. The crystal on his chest is actually partially his heart and area he will shield from any harm.

•

Very good at creating objects using crystals or gemstones. He's an expert on the subject as he is growing crystals from his body. Ones on his tail usually break off or he breaks them off and they regrow so he uses the broken pieces to craft things or sell them.

•

Enjoys getting others riled up or flustered. The reactions are priceless and fun to him. From pestering Daido/Clones to flustering others with his flirtations and height. He is always doing one or more of these to someone. Entertain him enough and he will cherish you dearly…be it as a foe,friend,or lover.

•

Maju has this random insatiable behavior to take people from dangerous people around the galaxy. This usually is children but can be others after seeing who is guarding them do something that to him looks like it's dangerous. It's pretty immediate that he does this without giving time for someone to explain even when the person perhaps wasn't in danger.

•

Takes or attempts to take people to his home planet where others he has taken live. They have formed small communities where they grow food,craft and trade items,and form new families. No one else lives on this planet as before was just Maju alone.

[jade-muffins]

Uhhhh Spinal Tap incorrect quotes because the world needs more Spinal Tap fan content

(Apologies if these seem ooc, I tried my best lol)

Nigel: Why does Ian always do the laundry so loudly?

Derek: So everyone knows that no one helps him out around here

Ian, in the distance: * slams the washing machine shut*

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Nigel: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste

Ian: Well we got spring water

Nigel: NO.

Jeanine: with EXTRA minerals

Derek: it's kind of like licking a stalagmite

Nigel: DON'T COME HOME!

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Jeanine: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Nigel: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Derek: I have to admit I got distracted about halfway through.

Ian: Ignoring you was my conscious decision.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Ian: Why did you get here so late??

Nigel: ....

Nigel: I was in the elevator for fifteen minutes panicking thinking I was stuck. Turns out I never pushed the button.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Nigel: Is Ian sleeping or dead

Jeanine: Hopefully dead, I hated his guts.

David: I kinda did too, to be honest

Ian: Okay, first of all, fvck you-

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

David, Derek, and Nigel are sitting on a bench

Ian: Why do you guys look so sad?

David: Sit down so we can tell you.

Ian: *sits down*

Nigel: The bench is freshly painted :)

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Nigel: Well in my defense, I was left unsupervised. Professionals still need a watchful eye every once in a while.

Ian: Wasn't David with you?

David: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Jeanine: Well can you tell me your biggest weakness?

Nigel: I can be uncooperative.

Jeanine: Can you give me an example?

Nigel: No. I don't think I can.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

David: Petition to remove the "d" from Wednesday

Nigel: Wednesay?

💃

[itto-writes]

Incorrect quotes but with genshin characters

Diluc,Kaeya,Venti

diluc: In my defense, I was left unsupervised. kaeya: Wasn't venti with you? venti: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

diluc: kaeya and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us venti: *Sighing* What did kaeya do? diluc: They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and... kaeya: Who wants a steering wheel?

diluc: We need a distraction. kaeya: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises? venti, whispering: My time has come

diluc, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him kaeya: You did WHAT– venti: William Snakepeare

diluc: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste kaeya: We got spring water diluc: NO. venti: with EXTRA minerals kaeya: it's like licking a stalagmite diluc: DON'T COME HOME. venti: Mmmmm cave water

Jean, Lisa

jean: What are your goals? lisa: To pet all the dogs. jean: No, fitness goals. lisa: To be able to run fast enough to pet all the dogs.

jean: I am not out of control! I'm a law abiding citizen! lisa: Really? Name one law jean: Don't kill people? lisa: That's on me. I set the bar too low.

jean: Okay, help me please! lisa: Got two words for you. jean: I bet they won't be helpful. lisa: Your problem. jean: I was right

jean, struggling to keep upright in their 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don’t really think heels are for me lisa, pointing at them and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: WEAK.

jean: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you. lisa: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule. jean: Absolutely not.

Raiden Shogun, Yae Miko

Raiden Shogun: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword. Yae Miko: That's why I carry two swords.

Raiden Shogun: Do you have any skeletons in your closet? Yae Miko: You mean literally or figuratively? Raiden Shogun: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...

Raiden Shogun: That’s one of my biggest fears. Like, if I ever woke up as a donut... Yae Miko: You would eat yourself? Raiden Shogun: I wouldn’t even question it.

Raiden Shogun: What if the 'g' in 'gif' is silent? Yae Miko: Go the fuck to sleep Raiden Shogun: What gif I don't want to? Yae Miko: Fuck You

Raiden Shogun: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail Yae Miko: No it’s my fault, I shouldn’t’ve used my one phone call to prank call the police

Itto, Gorou, Ayato, Thoma

Itto: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three- Itto and Gorou, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks! Ayato: Our turn, Thoma! One, two, three- vanilla! Thoma, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.

Itto: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB? Gorou: Bold of you to assume I was born at all. Ayato: I personally was created in a lab. Thoma: I just straight up spawned lol.

Itto: *Screams* Gorou: *Screams louder to establish dominance* Ayato: Should we do something? Thoma: No, I want to see who wins.

Itto: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos. Gorou: That's the most hopeful thing I've ever heard. Ayato: But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos? Thoma: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day.

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle. Itto: Shit. Gorou: Wait, three? Cop: Yeah? Ayato: OH MY GOD THOMA FELL OFF!!!

Tighnari, Cyno

Tighnari: Today is a day of running through hurdles. Cyno: Aren’t you supposed to jump OVER hurdles? Tighnari: Whatever. Fear is only something to be afraid of if you let it scare you.

Tighnari, tending to Cyno's wounds: How would you rate your pain? Cyno: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.

Tighnari: i went through an entire character arc during quarantine Tighnari: i became more evil if you’re curious Cyno: We're still in quarantine, don't worry, there's time for a redemption arc still! Tighnari: i’m going to get worse on purpose

Tighnari, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something. Cyno: I saw a squirrel in a tree today! Tighnari, with the tone of someone who is used to Cyno: Outstanding. Tighnari: This is what I’m talking about people.

Tighnari: *Kicks the door down looking panicked* Cyno: What did you do? Tighnari: Nobody died. Cyno: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

Tartaglia/Childe, Zhongli

Tartaglia: English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though. Zhongli: You need to stop.

Tartaglia: Where are you going? Zhongli: To get ice cream or commit a felony, I’ll decide on the way there

Tartaglia: *Walking in to a room* Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things. *Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder* Zhongli: *Out of breath* THEY PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS.

Tartaglia: I'm 10 times funnier and sexier than you Zhongli: 10 times 0 is still 0 though Tartaglia: Jokes on you, I can't do math

Tartaglia: Whaddya call a fish with no eye? Zhongli, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons Tartaglia: Tartaglia: fsh

Ningguang, Beidou

*Ningguang and Beidou are doing something absurdly dangerous* Ningguang: I think Houdini did something like this once! Why, if I recall correctly, he was out of the hospital in no time! Beidou, deadpan: Well that's encouraging.

Ningguang, talking to Beidou on the phone: Did you preheat the oven like I told you to? Beidou: You bet! Ningguang: At what temperature? Beidou: 535. Ningguang: That's the clock. Beidou: Ningguang: Beidou: 536.

Ningguang: Beidou, stop! This isn't you, you've gone mad with power! Beidou: Well of course I have. Beidou: Have you ever tried going mad without power? Beidou: It's boring.

Ningguang: If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back. Beidou: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.

Ningguang: What’s up guys? I’m back. Beidou: What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I literally saw you die. Ningguang: Death is a social construct.

Keqing, Ganyu

Keqing: Are you an ‘arr’ pirate, or a ‘yo ho ho’ pirate? Ganyu: I’m a ‘I’m not paying $600 for photoshop’ pirate.

Keqing: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl. Ganyu: Okay. Keqing: And make out during the scary parts. Ganyu: Th- Ganyu: The scary parts. Ganyu: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Keqing: Am I in trouble? Ganyu: Take a guess. Keqing: No? Ganyu: Take another guess.

Keqing: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait. Ganyu: You and me!!! Keqing, tearing up: Okay.

Keqing, trying to cheer the group up: Things could be worse, you know! Ganyu: How? Keqing: How what? Ganyu: How could they be worse? Keqing: They couldn’t, I lied. Ganyu:

Give me more groups/duos and ill post another <3 (this took far to long)

[nvrcmplt]

Lilu meeting the lovers: Nezumi ver.

Lilu: Hey Raum, Raum: Yes? Lilu: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on? Raum: Raum: Where’s Nezumi?

Lilu: Tell Raum about the birds and the bees. Nezumi: They're disappearing at an alarming rate.

Lilu, texting Raum: Raum! Help I’m being kidnapped Nezumi: Where are you? Lilu: I’m with some strange person. In a car. Help. Raum: I’ll call Nezumi. Nezumi, answering their cell: Y’ello? Raum: Where’s Lilu? They texted me that they were being kidnapped. Nezumi: Lilu? Whaddya mean, they're right next to me- Nezumi: Nezumi: I’ll call you back. *hangs up* Nezumi: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN’T THAT BAD! Lilu: WHO ARE YOU?!

Oliver ver

Raum: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it. Oliver: Raum no. Lilu: Mistlefoe. Oliver: Please stop encouraging them.

Raum: In my defense, I was left unsupervised. Oliver: Wasn't Lilu with you? Lilu: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

Raum: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container. Oliver: The cow??? Raum: What? Lilu: Oliver, W H Y?

Lily ver:

Raum: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste Lily: We got spring water Raum: NO. Lilu: with EXTRA minerals Lily: it's like licking a stalagmite Raum: DON'T COME HOME. Lilu: Mmmmm cave water

Raum: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Lily? Lily: … No. Lilu: I do! Raum: I know, Lilu. Lilu: I’m sad! Raum: I know, Lilu.

Store Worker: Would a Mx. Raum please come to the front desk? Raum, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem? Store Worker: points to Lily and Lilu Store Worker: I believe they belong to you? Lily and Lilu, simultaneously: We got lost :( Raum: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

[bittersweet--chaos]

@dolls-horde @dolls-circus I’m done :3

Leto: Is something burning?

Doll: Just my love for you.

Leto: Doll, the toaster is on fire.

✨✨✨✨

Leto: How do I deal with my enemies

Doll: Kill them

Leto: That's a bit extreme, I was hoping for a more passive solution

Doll: Kill them only a little?

✨✨✨✨

Doll: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?

Leto: ... N-No...

Leto, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???

Doll, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought!

Cam: I see a-

Leto, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.

Doll: Oh, well I-

Leto: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*

Leto, amazed: Its got a bake setting

Neph: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!

Pathos: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?

Leto: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!

Leto: I am someone who owns four ovens...

Leto, louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS...

Leto: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens...

Zethus JR., pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!
Leto:

Doll: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!

Leto:

Leto, fucking ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS

✨✨✨✨

'Can I copy the homework?' 
Leto: I can help you with it!

Neph: Yeah, sure.

Pathos: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.

Cam: lol nope.

Zethus JR.: Wait, we had homework?!?!?!

Doll: *Read 5:55pm*

✨✨✨✨✨

Cam : You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos.

Neph: That's the most hopeful thing I've ever heard.

Pathos : But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos?

Zethus JR.:Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day.

✨✨✨✨

Cam : You know those things will kill you, right?

Neph, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point.

Pathos , smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process.

Zethus JR.: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*

✨✨✨✨

Doll: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.

Leto: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!

Dante: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!!

Zethus SR.: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.

Dante: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

✨✨✨✨

Zethus: Why are your tongues purple

Doll: We had slushies. I had a blue one.

Leto: I had a red one.

Zethus SR: oh

Zethus SR:

Zethus SR: OH

Dante:

Dante: You drank each other's slushie?

✨✨✨✨

Leto: Have you seen a person named 'Doll' around here?

Dante: Ugh, yes. They made a horrible mess of the blood fountain.

Zethus SR.: It looks fine to me?

Leto: IT USED TO BE WATER!!!

✨✨✨✨

Dante: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Doll: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Leto: I got distracted about halfway through.

Zethus SR.: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

✨✨✨✨

Doll, about Leto: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group.

Dante: Are we stealing them?

Zethus SR.: New or used?

Leto: Wonderful responses, both of you.

✨✨✨✨

Zethus SR: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste

Doll: We got spring water

Zethus SR: NO.

Dante: with EXTRA minerals

Doll: it's like licking a stalagmite

Zethus SR: DON'T COME HOME.

Dante: Mmmmm cave water

✨✨✨✨

Doll: Dante and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us

Zethus SR: *Sighing* What did Doll do?

Doll: They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...

Dante: Who wants a steering wheel?

✨✨✨✨

Dante: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?

Zethus SR: You’re a hazard to society

Doll: And a coward. DO TWENTY.

✨✨✨✨

Zethus SR: What time is it?

Doll: I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out

Doll: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*

Dante: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING

Doll: It’s 2 am

✨✨✨✨

Leto: Doll, keep an eye on Dante today. They're going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.

Doll: Sure, I’d love to see Dante get punched.
Leto: Try again.

Doll, sighing: I will stop Dante from getting punched.

✨✨✨✨

Leto: Come on, I wasn’t that drunk last night.

Dante: You were flirting with Doll.

Leto: So what? She’s my wife.

Dante: You asked them if they were single.

Leto:

Dante: And then you cried when they said they weren't.

✨✨✨✨

Doll: Leto and I don’t use pet names.

Dante: I see. Hey, what do bees make

Doll: Honey?

Leto: Yes, dear?

Doll:

Dante: Don't ever lie to my face again.

✨✨✨✨

Dante: Hey, Doll? Can I get some dating advice?

Doll: Just because I’m with Leto doesn’t mean I know how I did it.

✨✨✨✨

Zethus JR: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.

Kore: Pathos, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.

✨✨✨✨

Pathos: *Walking in to a room* Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things.

*Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder*

Zethus JR: *Out of breath* THEY PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS.

✨✨✨✨

Pathos: Date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars.

Zethus JR: If anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the damn sky they will be removed indefinitely from my life

✨✨✨✨

Bambi, tending to Pathos’ wounds: How would you rate your pain?

Pathos: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.

✨✨✨✨

Leto: How many kids do you have?

Doll: Biologically, emotionally, or legally?

✨✨✨✨

Kore: Zethus and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-

Zethus JR: Sentences.

Kore: Don't interrupt me.

✨✨✨✨

Kore: So what’s for dinner?

Zethus JR, staring at the food they just burnt: Regret.

✨✨✨✨

Bambi: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

Pathos: Killed without hesitation.

Bambi: No.

[oh-three]

More incorrect Guard quotes:

Part 1

.

Rakesh: “You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?” Vori: “Several traffic violations.” Brakan: “Three counts of resisting arrest.” Linaleh: “Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.” Tindri: “Also, that’s not our car.”

Tindri: “What did you guys get in your yearbook?” Vori: “'Prettiest Smile'” Brakan: “'Nicest Personality'” Loktof: "’Most likely to start a bar fight'” Linaleh: “'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'”

Jurr: “Good morning.” Vori: “Good morning.” Brakan: “Good morning.” Linaleh: “You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.” Rakesh: “MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS.”

Brakan: “Are we really going to let Vori keep Loktof?” Linaleh: “We kept Rakesh.”

Tindri, trying to convince Rakesh to join the group: “You know... I thought it'd be good to have someone come along who's really... strong!” Vori: “And loud!” Brakan: “And grumpy!” Linaleh: “And oblivious to reality!” Rakesh:

Rakesh: “So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress.”

Jurr: “Have you seen a person named 'Vori' around here?” Brakan: “Ugh, yes. They made a horrible mess of the blood fountain.” Rakesh: “It looks fine to me?” Brakan: “IT USED TO BE WATER!!!”

Jurr: “Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group.” Linaleh: “Are we stealing them?” Rakesh: “New or used?” Jurr: “Wonderful responses, both of you.”

Jurr: “I think we're missing something.” Linaleh: “Teamwork?” Tindri: “Cohesion?” Rakesh: “A general sense of what we’re doing?”

Tindri, setting down a card: “Ace of spades.” Vori, pulling out an Uno card: “+4.” Brakan, pulling out a Pokémon card: “Jolteon, I choose you!” Rakesh, trembling: “What are we playing?”

Linaleh: “Yo, is Rakesh sleeping or dead?” Loktof: “Hopefully dead, I hated his guts.” Tindri: “Yeah, so did I.” Rakesh: “Okay, first of all, fuck you-”

Tindri: “Is stabbing someone immoral?” Linaleh: “Not if they consent to it.” Rakesh: “Depends who you’re stabbing.” Brakan: “YES?!?”

Rakesh: “What doesn't kill me should run, because now I'm fucking pissed.”

Jurr: “Isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other people?” Vori: “Plane tickets?” Brakan: “Concert tickets?” Rakesh: “Prostitution?” Jurr, holding their broken frames: “Glasses.”

Loktof: screams Linaleh: screams louder to establish dominance Brakan: “Should we do something?” Rakesh: “No, I want to see who wins.”

Rakesh: “Someone will die.” Vori: “Of fun!”

Rakesh: “I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so lets go for 12 more just incase.” Linaleh: “Rak, that's a coma.” Rakesh: “Sounds festive.”

Rakesh: walking in to a room “Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things.” *Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder* Loktof: out of breath “HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS.”

Rakesh: “Am I going too far?” Tindri: “No, no, no. You went too far about seven hours ago. Now you're going to prison.”

Rakesh: “Where are you going?” Linaleh: “To get ice cream or commit a felony, I’ll decide on the way there.”

Rakesh: “Today is a day of running through hurdles.” Brakan: “Aren’t you supposed to jump OVER hurdles?” Rakesh: “Whatever. Fear is only something to be afraid of if you let it scare you.”

Rakesh: “With great power comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.”

Rakesh: “Brakan, can I talk to you for a second?” Brakan: “Yeah, what’s up? Lemme guess. You and Vori are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss?” Rakesh: “What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I’ve read books.”

Rakesh: “Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste.” Vori: “We got spring water.” Rakesh: “NO.” Tindri: "With EXTRA minerals.” Vori: "It's like licking a stalagmite.” Rakesh: “DON'T COME HOME.” Tindri: “Mmmmm cave water.”

Linaleh, driving Vori and Rakesh: “So how was your day?” Vori: “We almost got surprise adopted!” Linaleh: “What?” Rakesh: “We almost got kidnapped.” Linaleh: “Oh, okay.” Linaleh: slams on the breaks “WAIT WHAT?!”

Rakesh: “Not trying to brag or anything, but I can wake up without an alarm clock now simply due to my crippling and overwhelming anxiety, so...”

Rakesh: “I know you snuck out last night, Vori.” Brakan: “Play dumb!” Vori: “Who's Vori?” Brakan: “NOT THAT DUMB!!!”

Brakan: “You know those things will kill you, right?” Loktof, pouring another glass of whiskey: “That’s the point.” Rakesh, smoking a cigarette: “We’re trying to speed up the process.” Vori: nods while eating raw cookie dough

Cop: “You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.” Rakesh: “Shit.” Brakan: “Wait, three?” Cop: “Yeah?” Vori: “OH MY GOD LOKTOF FELL OFF!!!”

Rakesh: “Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.” Vori: “No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!” Loktof: “Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!!” Linaleh: “Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.” Rakesh: “If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.”

*Jurr’s helping Vori out after they get injured, while the others are watching* Rakesh: “How does Vori look?” Loktof: “A little better than you, actually.”

Rakesh: “Fool me once, I’m gonna kill you.”

Rakesh: “How did none of you hear what I just said?” Tindri: “I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.” Vori: “I got distracted about halfway through.” Loktof: “Ignoring you was a conscious decision.”

Rakesh: “I just ended a four year relationship.” Vori: “Oh, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” Rakesh: “Hm? Oh yeah, I’m fine. It wasn’t my relationship.” *Tindri and Linaleh fighting from across the room*

Rakesh: “Tonight, one of you will betray us.” Brakan: “Is it me, Rakesh?” Rakesh: “No, it’s not you.” Vori: “Is it me, Rakesh?” Rakesh: “It’s not you either.” Loktof: “Is it me, Rakesh?” Rakesh: Rakesh, mockingly: “Is IT mE Rakesh?”

Rakesh: “Can I be frank with you guys?” Vori: “Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.” Brakan: “Can I still be Brakan?” Tindri: “Shh, let Frank speak.”

Rakesh: “Some of you may die, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.”

Rakesh: “Change is inedible.” Vori: “Don't you mean inevitable?” Rakesh, spitting out coins: “No, I did not.”

Tindri: “Linaleh and I are having a baby.” Vori: “That's gre-” Tindri, slamming adoption papers on the table: “It's you, sign here.”

Rakesh, negotiating with Loktof: “We have Vori. Give us ten thousand dollars and she will be returned to you unharmed.” Vori: “Whoa, whoa, wait, you think I’m only worth ten thousand dollars?” Rakesh: Vori: “MAKE IT ONE MILLION–” Rakesh: “VORI, STOP.”

Brakan: “HELP! I TOLD VORI I’D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN’T COOK!” Rakesh, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: “And you thought I could help?”

Rakesh: “'Person of interest' is almost too flattering.” Rakesh: “Like, if the police were to pound on my door and go, 'A man has been murdered in your building and you are a person of interest,' I'd be like, 'Moi? Oh, do go on.'”

Rakesh: “When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying 'Haven’t decided yet' is typically a good response.”

.

Source: https://incorrectquotesgenerator.com/

Part Three: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/oh-three/689560364964265984?source=share

[macidea-gapdesigner]

"এশিয়া মহাদেশের সবচেয়ে আশ্চর্যজনক সন্ধান" "The Most Astonishing Finds in the Asia Continent"

Here is the some unique and incredible discovaries about Asia, Like Asian Tourist Spots, Asian Animals, Read More................

Full Video Link : https://youtu.be/y-zTodGrb8k

"Asia: The Destination that Defines the World." With its kaleidoscope of cultures, landscapes, and experiences, Asia stands as the ultimate destination that encapsulates the essence of our planet. From the futuristic skylines of cities like Tokyo and Singapore to the serene tranquility of Bali's beaches, Asia offers a spectrum of travel experiences that cater to every wanderlust-filled heart. The continent's rich tapestry weaves together ancient temples and bustling markets, lush forests and arid deserts, vibrant festivals and serene retreats. Whether you seek culinary adventures through the diverse flavors of street food or spiritual enlightenment in the shadow of iconic monuments, Asia beckons with an allure that resonates across continents. As a hub of history, innovation, and natural beauty, Asia isn't just a destination; it's a world unto itself, inviting exploration and discovery at every turn.

Embark on a journey of discovery through the fascinating fun facts of Asia. Did you know that the world's highest peak, Mount Everest, calls Asia home, towering majestically in the Himalayas? On the flip side, the Dead Sea, nestled in the region, boasts such high salt concentration that swimmers effortlessly float on its surface. Asia is also a hub of innovation, with countries like South Korea being leaders in technological advancement and boasting the fastest internet speeds in the world. The continent's love for celebrations shines through during Thailand's Songkran Festival, where streets transform into water fight arenas during the traditional New Year festivities. And if you're a fan of culinary delights, Asia's diverse offerings span from the delectable sushi of Japan to the spicy curries of India, promising an unforgettable feast for your taste buds.

The concept of the "ice stupa" in Ladakh, India, is a brilliant example of innovative environmental solutions. In this remote Himalayan region, where water scarcity is a growing concern due to climate change and reduced glacial meltwater, the ice stupa has emerged as a remarkable solution. Inspired by the traditional stupas found in Buddhist culture, engineers devised a method to freeze and store water during winter months, creating cone-shaped ice structures that melt slowly during spring, providing much-needed water for irrigation during the planting season. This ingenious technique not only addresses water scarcity but also highlights the power of merging ancient wisdom with modern technology to tackle contemporary challenges. The ice stupa has not only captured local attention but also serves as a global symbol of climate adaptation and community-driven innovation.

The story of Naka Cave unveils a hidden world of wonder beneath the surface. Located in Phang Nga Province, Thailand, this mesmerizing cavern showcases the fascinating interplay of nature's artistry and human exploration. Naka Cave, also known as Tham Naka, has captivated explorers with its intricate formations of stalactites and stalagmites, shaped over millennia by the slow drip of mineral-rich water. What makes this tale truly remarkable is that the cave was initially discovered by a local farmer named Mr. Naka, who stumbled upon its entrance while tending to his rubber plantation. Recognizing the potential for tourism, he collaborated with experts to develop the cave into a unique attraction, drawing visitors into the mesmerizing subterranean world. Naka Cave's journey from hidden gem to celebrated wonder is a testament to the unexpected beauty that can be found when nature and human curiosity intersect.

"এশিয়া: গন্তব্য যে বিশ্বকে সংজ্ঞায়িত করে।" সংস্কৃতি, ল্যান্ডস্কেপ এবং অভিজ্ঞতার ক্যালিডোস্কোপ সহ, এশিয়া চূড়ান্ত গন্তব্য হিসাবে দাঁড়িয়েছে যা আমাদের গ্রহের সারাংশকে অন্তর্ভুক্ত করে। টোকিও এবং সিঙ্গাপুরের মতো শহরের ভবিষ্যত স্কাইলাইন থেকে শুরু করে বালির সমুদ্র সৈকতের নির্মল প্রশান্তি, এশিয়া ভ্রমণের অভিজ্ঞতার একটি বর্ণালী অফার করে যা প্রতিটি বিচরণ লালসায় ভরা হৃদয়কে পূরণ করে। মহাদেশের সমৃদ্ধ টেপেস্ট্রি প্রাচীন মন্দির এবং জমজমাট বাজার, জমকালো বন এবং শুষ্ক মরুভূমি, প্রাণবন্ত উত্সব এবং নির্মল পশ্চাদপসরণগুলিকে একত্রিত করে। আপনি রাস্তার খাবারের বিভিন্ন স্বাদের মাধ্যমে রন্ধনসম্পর্কীয় অ্যাডভেঞ্চার খোঁজেন বা আইকনিক স্মৃতিস্তম্ভের ছায়ায় আধ্যাত্মিক জ্ঞান অর্জন করুন না কেন, এশিয়া মহাদেশ জুড়ে অনুরণিত একটি আকর্ষণের সাথে ইঙ্গিত করে। ইতিহাস, উদ্ভাবন এবং প্রাকৃতিক সৌন্দর্যের কেন্দ্র হিসেবে এশিয়া শুধু একটি গন্তব্য নয়; এটি নিজের কাছে একটি বিশ্ব, প্রতিটি মোড়ে অন্বেষণ এবং আবিষ্কারকে আমন্ত্রণ জানায়।

এশিয়ার আকর্ষণীয় মজার তথ্যের মাধ্যমে আবিষ্কারের যাত্রা শুরু করুন। আপনি কি জানেন যে বিশ্বের সর্বোচ্চ শৃঙ্গ, মাউন্ট এভারেস্ট, হিমালয়ে মহিমান্বিতভাবে এশিয়াকে বাড়ি বলে? উল্টো দিকে, মৃত সাগর, এই অঞ্চলে অবস্থিত, এমন উচ্চ লবণের ঘনত্ব নিয়ে গর্ব করে যে সাঁতারুরা অনায়াসে এর পৃষ্ঠে ভেসে বেড়ায়। এশিয়াও উদ্ভাবনের একটি কেন্দ্র, যেখানে দক্ষিণ কোরিয়ার মতো দেশগুলি প্রযুক্তিগত অগ্রগতিতে নেতৃত্ব দিচ্ছে এবং বিশ্বের দ্রুততম ইন্টারনেট গতির গর্ব করছে৷ উদযাপনের প্রতি মহাদেশের ভালোবাসা থাইল্যান্ডের সোংক্রান উৎসবের মাধ্যমে উজ্জ্বল হয়, যেখানে ঐতিহ্যবাহী নববর্ষের উৎসবের সময় রাস্তাগুলি জলের লড়াইয়ের আখড়ায় রূপান্তরিত হয়। এবং যদি আপনি রন্ধনসম্পর্কীয় আনন্দের অনুরাগী হন, এশিয়ার বিভিন্ন অফারগুলি জাপানের সুস্বাদু সুশি থেকে শুরু করে ভারতের মশলাদার তরকারি পর্যন্ত বিস্তৃত, আপনার স্বাদের কুঁড়িগুলির জন্য একটি অবিস্মরণীয় ভোজের প্রতিশ্রুতি দেয়৷

ভারতের লাদাখে "বরফের স্তুপ" ধারণাটি উদ্ভাবনী পরিবেশগত সমাধানের একটি উজ্জ্বল উদাহরণ। এই প্রত্যন্ত হিমালয় অঞ্চলে, যেখানে জলবায়ু পরিবর্তন এবং হিমবাহের গলিত জল হ্রাসের কারণে জলের ঘাটতি একটি ক্রমবর্ধমান উদ্বেগ, বরফ স্তুপ একটি উল্লেখযোগ্য সমাধান হিসাবে আবির্ভূত হয়েছে৷ বৌদ্ধ সংস্কৃতিতে পাওয়া ঐতিহ্যবাহী স্তূপগুলির দ্বারা অনুপ্রাণিত হয়ে, প্রকৌশলীরা শীতের মাসগুলিতে জল জমা এবং সংরক্ষণ করার একটি পদ্ধতি তৈরি করেছিলেন, শঙ্কু আকৃতির বরফের কাঠামো তৈরি করেছিলেন যা বসন্তকালে ধীরে ধীরে গলে যায়, রোপণের মৌসুমে সেচের জন্য প্রয়োজনীয় জল সরবরাহ করে। এই উদ্ভাবনী কৌশলটি শুধুমাত্র জলের অভাবকে মোকাবেলা করে না বরং সমসাময়িক চ্যালেঞ্জ মোকাবেলা করার জন্য আধুনিক প্রযুক্তির সাথে প্রাচীন জ্ঞানকে একীভূত করার শক্তিকেও তুলে ধরে। বরফের স্তূপ শুধুমাত্র স্থানীয় দৃষ্টি আকর্ষণ করেনি বরং জলবায়ু অভিযোজন এবং সম্প্রদায়-চালিত উদ্ভাবনের বৈশ্বিক প্রতীক হিসেবেও কাজ করে।

নাকা গুহার গল্প ভূপৃষ্ঠের নিচে বিস্ময়ের লুকানো জগতকে উন্মোচন করে। থাইল্যান্ডের ফাং এনগা প্রদেশে অবস্থিত, এই মন্ত্রমুগ্ধ গুহাটি প্রকৃতির শৈল্পিকতা এবং মানুষের অন্বেষণের চিত্তাকর্ষক ইন্টারপ্লে প্রদর্শন করে। নাকা গুহা, থাম নাকা নামেও পরিচিত, খনিজ-সমৃদ্ধ জলের ধীর ফোঁটা দ্বারা সহস্রাব্দ ধরে আকৃতির স্ট্যালাকটাইট এবং স্ট্যালাগমাইটের জটিল গঠনের সাথে অভিযাত্রীদের মুগ্ধ করেছে। যা এই গল্পটিকে সত্যিই অসাধারণ করে তুলেছে তা হল যে গুহাটি প্রাথমিকভাবে মিঃ নাকা নামে একজন স্থানীয় কৃষক আবিষ্কার করেছিলেন, যিনি তার রাবার বাগানের পরিচর্যা করার সময় এর প্রবেশদ্বারে হোঁচট খেয়েছিলেন। পর্যটনের সম্ভাবনাকে স্বীকৃতি দিয়ে, তিনি গুহাটিকে একটি অনন্য আকর্ষণ হিসেবে গড়ে তোলার জন্য বিশেষজ্ঞদের সাথে সহযোগিতা করেছেন, যা দর্শকদেরকে মুগ্ধ করা ভূগর্ভস্থ বিশ্বে আকৃষ্ট করেছে। লুকানো রত্ন থেকে বিখ্যাত বিস্ময়ের দিকে নাকা গুহার যাত্রা অপ্রত্যাশিত সৌন্দর্যের একটি প্রমাণ যা প্রকৃতি এবং মানুষের কৌতূহল ছেদ করলে পাওয়া যায়।

[dwrakaexpressway]

Paras Quartier Gurgaon An Iconic Residential Destination

Gurgaon's Paras Quartier Is A Renowned Residential Area

paras quartier gurgaon is a residential development project in Gurgaon, Haryana. It is a unique lifestyle destination with world-class architecture, urban planning and construction quality. Paras Quartier Gurgaon is growing fast and has become very popular among investors who want to make investments in real estate projects in India

Introduction to Paras Quartier Gurgaon

Paras Quartier Gurgaon is a residential development in Sector 47, Gurgaon. It is located in the central part of the city and is surrounded by the Haryana Vidhan Sabha and the National Highway 8. The project has been designed by Artha Constructions Pvt Ltd., which was also responsible for designing several other projects like Palladium Apartments & Residences, Kolkata Gate Apartments & Residences etc., around Delhi NCR region like Jhandewalan Extension IIIA-VIII Commercial Complexes at Jhandewalan Extension IIIA-VIII Commercial Complexes at Jhandewalan Extension IIICDDAB (New Delhi) etc..

The architectural design of Paras Quartier Gurgaon

The architectural design of paras quartier gurgaon is inspired by the area's history. Its name, which means "parasite," was originally used to refer to a type of habitat found in limestone caves. These habitats were formed when water seeped into caves and became trapped between stalactites and stalagmites over time. In this case, it refers to an urban habitat that has been built around existing infrastructure like pipelines and sewers instead of being built from scratch.

The architecture of Paras Quartier Gurgaon is modern yet organic; it blends well with its surroundings but does not compete with them visually or functionally

Green spaces and landscaping at Paras Quartier Gurgaon

The paras quartier gurgaon is a green city. It has plenty of greenery and trees, which makes it very pleasant to walk around in. This makes the area a great place for you and your family to enjoy together!

If you are looking for an apartment that has lots of space and can accommodate all your needs, then this may be the perfect one for you!

Quality of construction and materials used at Paras Quartier Gurgaon

The quality of construction and materials used at Paras Quartier Gurgaon is top-notch. The apartments have been designed to stand out from the crowd in terms of aesthetics, finish and amenities.

The interiors are designed by some of India’s finest architects who have decades of experience under their belts. They understand the importance of creating an environment that appeals to people with diverse tastes while also keeping them comfortable and happy during their stay here.

Security measures at Paras Quartier Gurgaon

paras quartier gurgaon is a residential destination that offers the best of everything in terms of security measures. Not only does it have high-end security systems, but also its residents can enjoy a sense of safety and peace with the help of these measures.

Security Guards:

Security guards are stationed at various points within the property to ensure that no one enters or leaves without authorization. This ensures that your privacy is maintained while you’re at home or out on business trips, which is great news for those who want to avoid being bothered by other people while they relax in their homes!

Security Cameras: Security cameras monitor all activity inside and outside buildings so there’s no need for alarm bells ringing anytime someone enters their building—you know exactly what’s going on around you!

Parking facilities at Paras Quartier Gurgaon

Parking facilities are available at paras quartier gwal pahari gurgaon. Parking is free of cost and available 24x7 on a first come first serve basis. Additionally, parking facilities can be availed on a pay as you go basis as well.

Retail and commercial spaces at Paras Quartier Gurgaon

Paras Quartier Gurgaon is a residential destination that offers a wide variety of retail and commercial spaces. The area has several malls, retail outlets and restaurants that are well located in close proximity to each other. The retail and commercial spaces are also well connected with other areas of Gurgaon via various arterial roads. These factors make it easy for residents to access their favorite stores or eateries at any time of the day without having to travel far from home or office.

The quality of maintenance provided by Paras Quartier Gurgaon ensures that all its facilities remain clean throughout their operation hours, thus helping both residents as well as visitors maintain an ambiance conducive for relaxation when they visit this prestigious development!

Accessibility to public transport from Paras Quartier Gurgaon

Paras Quartier Gurgaon is accessible by public transport, which makes it easy for you to get around without having to worry about parking.

There are two main ways of reaching paras quartier gwal pahari gurgaon: by car or by public transport. If you're planning on driving yourself, there are plenty of parking options available in the area and it's also possible to park your vehicle at one of the many underground garages in the vicinity.

If you're looking for something more convenient than a car drive though, then we recommend taking advantage of one of our free shuttles running between all four sides of Paras Quartier Gurgaon as well as other nearby locations like Sector 18 Aamjyotan road and Sector 15 Noida City Center Expressway (NCE).

Environmental sustainability initiatives at Paras Quartier Gurgaon

Paras Quartier Gurgaon is a green project. It has a lot of greenery and trees, which help in reducing the air pollution level in the area. In addition to this, it also helps in creating an environment free from noise pollution because most of the apartments here have their own courtyards or gardens where you can sit down and relax with your family or friends after dinner or lunchtime meals at home!

Lifestyle opportunities at Paras Quartier Gurgaon

Paras Quartier Gurgaon is the first residential destination to offer a lifestyle experience that’s full of excitement, luxury and value. With its world-class facilities, stylish interiors and a host of amenities, Paras offers an unmatched lifestyle experience for residents at every level.

Here are some of the lifestyle opportunities that make Paras different:

Shopping: With over 250 stores on offer in our retail mall (Paras Mall), there’s something for everyone – from designer labels to trendy boutiques or locally sourced treats. You can also shop at our premium multi-brand stores like Oscar & Rose or Vivre sa vie!

Dining: You can enjoy fine dining at restaurants such as Oberoi Continental Deluxes with their signature dishes like Butter Chicken Thali or Pizzas made on their wood fired ovens using fresh produce straight from farms around Delhi NCR; while sitting outdoors under starry skies in one of our many rooftop bars (allowing people watching). Or if you prefer eating indoors then head over to Monsoon Kitchen for traditional Indian cuisine prepared by friendly staff who will make sure you get exactly what you want!

Entertainment: Whether it’s listening live music performances every night after dinner at Barista Shops or joining friends for games outside during summer evenings when temperatures drop below 20 degrees Celsius then paras quartier gurgaon has got everything planned out perfectly so make sure not miss any opportunity while enjoying life here :)

Investment potential of Paras Quartier Gurgaon

paras quartier gwal pahari gurgaon is one of the most sought-after residential destinations in Delhi NCR. The location is strategic, with easy access to all amenities and facilities, including hospitals and educational institutions. This makes it ideal for homebuyers who want a hassle-free living experience but at the same time don't want to compromise on their lifestyle or personal needs.

Investment potential of Paras Quartier Gurgaon:

The investment potential of Paras Quartier Gurgaon is high due to its prime location which provides easy access to all amenities and facilities such as schools, colleges, hospitals etc., making this place an ideal choice for investors looking at real estate investments near New Delhi Airport (NDIA).

paras quartier gwal pahari gurgaon is a great place to live in, with a variety of lifestyle options and an abundance of amenities. With its location just outside the city centre, it’s easy to access all the amenities that Delhi has to offer - from shopping malls, cinemas and restaurants to healthcare facilities and cultural attractions. If you're looking for something different from other developments in Delhi-NCR then look no further than Paras Quartier Gurgaon!

Get in Touch!

Website - parasquartiergurgaon.co.in

Skype - shalabh.mishra

Telegram - shalabhmishra

Email - enquiry.realestates@gmail.com

Mobile - +919990536116

[klm-zoflorr]

Here are some incorrect quotes for our favorite little child soldiers and brainwashed officers because I love them and also they're a family! Hell yeah!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Commander Magath: Some of you may die, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Commander Magath: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me

Gabi: Okay, but in my defense, Falco bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.

Commander Magath: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Commander Magath: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste

Gabi: We got spring water

Commander Magath: NO.

Falco: with EXTRA minerals

Gabi: it's like licking a stalagmite

Commander Magath: DON'T COME HOME.

Falco: Mmmmm cave water

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Commander Magath: Fool me once, I’m gonna kill you

Zeke, 500000 miles away from there, waking up in a cold sweat: I am in trouble

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Commander Magath: I love you kids, you're the best thing that's happened to me.

Gabi: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?

Commander Magath: Yes!

Falco: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Commander Magath: We need a distraction.

Gabi: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?

Falco, whispering: My time has come.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Commander Magath: Why is Porco so sad?

Zeke: He took one of those “Which Character Are You?” quizzes

Commander Magath: And...?

Zeke: He got Reiner.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Commander Magath: Alright team, let's try this out. Is stabbing someone immoral?

Zeke: Not if they consent to it.

Porco: Depends who you’re stabbing.

Reiner: YES?!?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Commander Magath: Looking left cause you don’t treat me right

Gabi: Looking right because you left

Falco: Looking up cause you let me down

Zofia: Looking down cause you fucked up

Udo: What is wrong with you guys

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Falco: Change is inedible.

Colt: Don't you mean inevitable?

Falco, spitting out coins: No, I did not.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Commander Magath : Anyone d-

Falco: Depressed?

Zofia: Drained?

Udo: Dumb?

Gabi: Disliked?

Commander Magath : -done with their work... what is wrong with you people ...

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?

Pieck: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Porco?

Porco: Probably “road work ahead”.

Reiner: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke: There is no future. there is no past. do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet.

Pieck:

Porco:

Reiner:

Everyone Else At Zeke’s Surprise Birthday Party:

Pieck: All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Falco: What time is it?

Gabi: I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out

Gabi: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*

Reiner: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING

Gabi: It’s 2 am

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner: Gabi, keep an eye on Falco today. He's going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.

Gabi: Sure, I’d love to see Falco get punched.

Reiner: Try again.

Gabi, sighing: I will stop Falco from getting punched.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Annie: I think we're missing something.

Marcel: Teamwork?

Bertholt: Cohesion?

Reiner: A general sense of what we’re doing?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner: You know those things will kill you, right?

Porco, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point.

Zeke, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process.

Pieck: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Bonus with our favorite knifey fidget spinner:

Zeke: Am I going too far?

Levi: No, no, no. You went too far about seven hours ago. Now you're going to prison.

Zeke: I was arrested for being too cool.

Levi: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9!

Part 10 :3

Part 11 :D

Part 12 >:(

AO3 link

[hopeatermeetsgodzilla]

The Ghidorah being siblings (made with Incorrect Quotes Generator)

Ichi: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste

Ni: We got spring water

Ichi: NO.

San: with EXTRA minerals

Ni: it's like licking a stalagmite

Ichi: DON'T COME HOME.

San: Mmmmm cave water

-

Ni: HELP! I TOLD ICHI I’D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN’T COOK!

San, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

-

San: Hey Ichi,

Ichi: Yes?

San: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?

Ichi:

Ichi: Where’s Ni?

-

Ichi: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Ni?

Ni: … No.

San: I do!

Ichi: I know, San.

San: I’m sad!

Ichi: I know, San.

-

Ni: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?

San: The car takes a screenshot.

Ichi: For the last time, get the fuck out.

-

San: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?

Ichi: You’re a hazard to society

Ni: And a coward. DO TWENTY.

-

Ichi: I told Ni his ears flush when he lies.

San: Why?

Ichi: Look.

Ichi: Hey Ni! Do you love us?

Ni, covering their ears: No.

San:

-

Ni: I trust San.

Ichi: You think he knows what he's doing?

Ni: I wouldn't go that far.

-

San: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Ichi: Wasn't Ni with you?

Ni: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

-

Ichi, driving Ni and San: So how was your day?

San: We almost got surprise adopted!

Ichi: What?

Ni: We almost got kidnapped.

Ichi: Oh, okay.

Ichi: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

-

Ni: What do you think San will do for a distraction?

Ichi: He’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.

*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*

Ichi: ... or he could do that.

-

San: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.

Ichi: San no.

Ni: Mistlefoe.

Ichi: Please stop encouraging him.