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jemej3m · 5 years

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trial (objection p.2)

i love htgawm connor is such a problem child

“So your father was already incapacitated when you murdered him,” Andrew deduced, leaning back in his chair. He spun the land-line’s coiled cord around his finger, looking over the ceiling sconces of his office. The place was definitely built at least half a century ago, and the remnants of its previous occupations were everywhere, from the covered-up fireman pole holes to the sound-proofed insulation.

“When I killed him out of self-defence, yes,” Neil returned. His portion of the conversation would always be under surveillance.

“Way to make my job harder, Wesninski.”

“What good would I be, otherwise?” he retorted. “Also, please don’t call me that. I’m figuring out a new last name. How does Neil Smith sound?”

“Dreadfully boring,” Andrew said. “Don’t say that word. I don’t like it.”

“Which one, exactly?”

Andrew grit his teeth. “Please.” It still sent shudders down his spine. “There’s no time for pleasantries.”

“Fine,” the man said. “Is that all you wanted to waste my time on? The position my father was found in, when I - when he died?”

“Considering that there are extremely graphic photos of his predicament for the jury to gawk at, yes. How is it self-defence if there’s no threat?”

“He wasn’t cuffed there: I was. The DNA evidence was tampered with to remove traces of the skin tissue that the cuffs had scraped away. Have you even looked at those photos? His wrists are clearly free. I thought you were talking about the eyes.”

“What about them?” Andrew hedged.

“They’re gouged out,” Neil muttered. “I hate that our eyes are - were - the same.”

“You did that whilst the two of you were fighting,” Andrew suggested. “Unless its clear you did it with a knife?”

“All I had was his cleaver,” Neil said. “I used the handle. That’d look like fingers, right?”

“Right,” Andrew agreed, just as Wymack appeared at his doorway.

“Could you keep the gruesome mutilation discussions off the worklines?” the old man demanded. “Matt just threw up into Dan’s paper-shredder.”

“I’ll have to call you back,” Andrew said, vastly unimpressed.

“I was going to say,” Neil said, sounding vaguely amused. “You have quite a stomach. Till next time, Andrew.”

“Bye, Neil.”

Wymack had his arms crossed when Andrew threw the phone back onto the receiver, his glower shrouded and unknowable.

Andrew gave it right back to him, refusing to stand as he mirrored Wymack’s stance. “What?”

“First you viciously reject the case,” he said. “Then you drive to see him. Now you’re calling him every day?”

“He’s in prison,” Andrew said. “I can’t just invite him over to interview him and gather evidence.”

“There is no valid reason for you to buddy up to Wesninski like this,” Wymack objected. “You barely speak to your clients unless they’re escapin’ juvie.”

“You’re asking no questions, so I’ll give no answers,” Andrew responded cheerfully. “Have a nice day, boss.”

Wymack pointed at him. “No murder talk on the worklines. Three strikes and you’re out, Andrew.”

Andrew swivelled back around in his chair, knowing true and well Wymack had warned him about upwards of 72 different infringements of people’s delicate psyche. He had a job to do: if someone got in his way, he wasn’t going to be nice about it.

Not for the first time, he wondered if Neil had a contraband mobile phone. It’d make his life a hell of a lot easier. For about twenty minutes he scrolled aimlessly through emails from desperate idiots convicted of white-collar crime, simultaneously considering how he might get a mobile phone to Neil next time he visited. He could go on the weekend, after Nicky’s godforsaken family night.

Oh, shit, Andrew thought, when he noticed he’d lost an hour of his day making plans to see Neil again.

Maybe Wymack was on to something.

“You do seem awfully invested,” Betsy suggested, leaning on the porch railing as Andrew smoked through a second cigarette. She’d come along to Nicky’s Friday night fiasco at his request, seeing as Aaron had Katelyn and Nicky had Erik. It seemed a little ridiculous to being his old therapist, who was much more of a mother than a therapist, but Andrew’d wanted to talk to her anyway and their schedules clashed too much to meet up for lunch.

“His case is simple,” Andrew objected, glaring at an owl that’d settled on the gangly tree in Nicky’s front yard. “He’s got physical evidence of his father’s cruelty, even though it’s been a decade. I’ve uncovered the DNA evidence tampering. Neil clearly acted out of self-defence. It’s open and shut, but no one’s going to want Wesninski’s child out on the streets.”

“Jury?” Betsy inquired.

“Jury,” Andrew confirmed sullenly. He fucking hated jury catering. When a case was on thin ice, it was up to selecting the perfectly biased (or prejudiced) people that’d think with their heart, not their head. Andrew was an excellent judge of character, but emotional evaluations were taxing and laborious.

“You’ll do great,” Betsy promised, smiling her all-knowing smile. “You always do.”

Andrew hummed gently, taking one final drag of his cigarette. Before he could chuck the butt into Nicky’s shrubbery, Betsy pinched it between her fingers and dropped it onto an ashtray atop a rickety windowsill.

“It’s an interesting story,” Betsy continued. “There’s every reason to be intrigued by it.”

Andrew just grunted.

“Though,” she remarked. “I figured that case between the young girls was even more perplexing and intricate, but you seem rather enamoured.”

“Shut up,” he mumbled.

“I’m sure I don’t have to remind you about professionalism,” she said airily.

“No,” he agreed. “You don’t.”

But - damn it all to hell - Neil was interesting. He was only a year younger than Andrew was, intelligent without seeming overbearing or arrogant, confident but reserved, a man of constraint taught by hardship but also a man of growth and reflection. Andrew was rambling and he knew it. Neil Wesninski was attractive, intriguing and completely out of Andrew’s reach. Even if he were just your average guy walking down the street, he wouldn’t look at Andrew twice.

Andrew was fine with that. He didn’t need someone chasing after him, just like he didn’t need emotional intimacy or empathy or gentleness. It was like those nerve-endings had been scoured till they were numb and useless. The pathways were still there, but they echoed a nothingness that he’d never really figured out.

Whatever. Whatever. Neil was just a challenging and well-paying case. That’s all he’d ever be.

He was getting existential and over-contemplative. Betsy knew this and smiled, letting him take her by the elbow inside for a cup of cocoa. It was late when the other four finished their game of Monopoly and Nicky finally permitted everyone to leave. Betsy let Andrew walk her to her car again, warmth crinkling her eyes.

“If you’re seeing your Neil tomorrow,” she said, with a wink. “Tell me all the juicy details.”

“You’re a leech,” Andrew declared, pushing her car-door shut. She waved out the scrolled-down window as she careened off, leaving Andrew to his quiet but volatile thoughts.

Your Neil, she’d said.

Now wasn’t that a confronting idea.

“Suppose you are a danger to society,” Andrew drawled. They were sat opposite one another at another metal table, handcuffs dangling off one of Neil’s wrists, his blunt key being fiddled with in the other hand. “Suppose you are just as marvellously unhinged as dear old Dad. What then?”

“Why bother entertaining the possibilities?” Neil cocked an eyebrow. “We both know I’m fine.”

“You are the furthest thing from ‘fine’,” Andrew retorted.

“You’re no paragon of mental health yourself,” Neil laughed, and Andrew wondered how the fuck he’d got himself here.

Two months ago he’d met Neil for the first time. In two weeks his trial would begin, in his lovely hometown of Baltimore, Maryland. It’d be less of a drive for Andrew, so he didn’t mind.

In two months, Andrew had found himself hanging onto every conversation. At first he clung on with apprehension. A wariness born out of unfamiliarity: he’d never been in the realm of wanting to associate with someone. Wanting someone’s company, their thoughts and opinions, their attention. It was ridiculous. Neil was a convicted murderer in a max-security prison.

Then again, Andrew was the one who knew that Neil was undeserving of that title best. At most it was manslaughter. In reality it was a blessing. Ridding the world of the Butcher, a renowned and horrifically twisted serial killer, was a service to the public rather than a hindrance.

And so Andrew had found himself in a strange position, between professionalism and exceptionalism. He almost couldn’t help it. He wanted to know what happened behind those ocean blues.

“Someone’s been bored again,” Andrew accused, lighting a cigarette. That was illegal but he didn’t give a fuck. Neil gazed at where it rested between his lips, conflicted.

He shrugged, caught out. “You’re an interesting person. Would it scare you to know we’re similar in more ways than one?”

Andrew let a small smirk twitch around his smoke. “You should be more scared than I should be.”

“Maybe I’ll go to law school when I’m out,” Neil leered, grinning. “Beat you at your own game.”

“You can try,” Andrew said. “You’ll lose.”

Neil hummed. His shackles jingled as he reached over the table for Andrew’s cigarette, his fingertips brushing over Andrew’s lips as he snatched it away. For a moment he watched the cherry’s glow, before letting it rest at the corner of his mouth.

Unimpressed, and also oddly flushed, Andrew glared.

“That sounds like a challenge,” Neil said, returning to the conversation like he hadn’t just stolen the cigarette out of Andrew’s mouth. Like Andrew hadn’t just let him. “If you get me out of this hell hole, I’ll prove you wrong.”

“And if you don’t?”

Neil grinned. “Then you lose anyway. Don’t worry: I won’t cry.”

“Good,” Andrew muttered, leaning back in his chair with his arms folded over his chest.

Neil filled the rest of their valuable time with inane chatter about the more twisted happenings within a male max prison: Andrew had heard of similar stories and worse, but seeing as Neil instigated most of the fights, he still found it rather entertaining to be told.

Before he knew it, their time was up. He stood, plucking the butt out from between Neil’s lips.

“Till next time,” Neil said, a forlorn look at the cigarette between Andrew’s fingers.

“I’ll text you about trial prep,” Andrew said, pointing at him. “Read it.”

Neil sighed. “Not like it’ll help me in any way. But fine. I’ll waste my limited credit and battery on the shitty flipper for court etiquet.”

“You’d better, you ungrateful shit. I got you that phone.”

Neil just winked and blew him a kiss. At Andrew’s scowl, he laughed.

The laugh haunted - no, teased - Andrew all the way out of the stupid prison complex, across the car park, even as he blasted music on the way home.

Andrew took one look at the woman who squirmed in her chair, leaning anxiously away from the middle-aged man next to her. It was instinctive and ingrained in her behaviours. An abusive father, then. Or, perhaps an abusive husband, if the twisting of her wedding ring was anything to go by.

“Accept,” Andrew declared.

“Do you have any qualms about gang violence?” the prosecution asked a balding man, lounging in his chair.

“It’s a toxic function of our society,” he answered.

The lawyer looked to the judge and smiled. “Accept, your honour.”

Fucking hell, Andrew thought. He glanced back over to the table, where Neil was cuffed to the iron loop. He didn’t smile, but simply tipped up his chin. An acknowledgement. Confidence in, well. Andrew.

Something in Andrew’s stomach settled. He turned back to the man that the prosecution had accepted. “So you have heard of the Wesninski case?”

“It was ten years ago,” he objected.

“What did you think of it?”

“It was well resolved,” he said.

“So you still garner some form of opinion against Wesninski?” Andrew eyed the Christian Society badge pinned to the strap of his messenger bag. “Surely your god would have some qualms with your inability to forgive,”

“Mr Minyard,” the judge insisted. “That’s enough.”

It didn’t matter. The man was already spitting mad, going bright-red in the face. He pointed at Neil and hissed “He’s a monster, just like his father. God should’ve had him killed!”

“Denied,” Andrew drawled. The man shuffled out of the jury box, frothing mad.

By the end of the selection process, Andrew was sure that at least half of those sitting in the box would think emotionally rather than pragmatically. He settled back at his desk, ignoring the prosecution lawyer’s filthy glares, and tapped his fingers on Neil’s file.

“I didn’t miss this,” Neil muttered, picking at the skin of his cuticles.

From Andrew’s pocket he drew out Neil’s favourite key, of which he’d swiped after they’d searched Neil from head to toe. The man looked at him with undeserved awe, taking the blunt key and spinning it between his fingers.

“Thank you,” he said.

“Shut up,” Andrew retorted.

The court was called to stand: Neil’s hearing had begun.

FUCKs sake i was gonna try do this in three parts but the trial will be a whole part and the post trial too..... dammit lol

next we find out: what does the prosecution have up their sleeve? how will neil’s testimony go? what chaos will andrew cause in the courtroom? whose key does neil continually trace?? will neil be inevitably driven to distraction by andrew’s dope-ass suit?

#andreil #lawyer!andrew #felon!neil #law au #law firm!foxes #andrew minyard #neil josten #david wymack #betsy dobson #all for the game #aftg #hope u like this disaster of a fic lol #can someone please tell me what to name this au #i cant call it the htgawm au #(how to get away with murder)#unless?#idek #jem writes

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kar3npage · 4 years

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Next to You

Neil Josten works as a math professor and lives a comfortable life in a neighborhood that happens to house all of his closest friends. He meets Andrew Minyard, the owner of the quaint bookstore down the street, at a barbeque and makes the mistake of agreeing to go to his book club. Lots of Andrew being an obviously lovesick fool, Neil being oblivious, and their friends loving them unconditionally.

Read it on ao3 here

Neil Josten made his way down the quaint street that he somehow managed to get an apartment in. His wheelchair clicked loudly on the pavement, and he got a few sympathetic looks as he rolled past. He does his best to ignore it, though some days that’s easier said than done.

It’s been years since his father died at the hands of Stuart, and a bit more than a year since the rest of his father’s circle was finally caught and imprisoned. No matter how much time passes though, Nathan Wesninski left a lasting impact. The scars on his arms and face make sure that everyone knows that something horrific happened to the young man with red hair, and the wheelchair ensures that he is noticed in every situation.

“Hey buddy!” Matt is easy to find in the cafe they always meet at. To begin with, they always sit at the same table so that Neil can get there comfortably. Also, he is freakishly tall compared to most people, and the spiked hair adds to his height. “Dan sends her apologies. Emergency at work,” Matt says with a grimace and pushes forward the coffee that he ordered for Neil.

Matt and Neil have been best friends since they met in physical therapy when Matt got an injury while he was playing Exy in university. Neil was the first person Matt introduced Dan to when they started dating, and Neil was the one that Matt ran his business plan through when he first decided that he wanted to start a veterinary clinic. Matt was the one that Neil called when he got lonely in his empty apartment, and Matt was the one who forced Neil to get a cat. Neil couldn’t imagine a life without their weekly coffees or Christmas dinner with the Boyd-Wilds.

Matt is describing in minute detail the reason why Dan was not able to come to coffee today - something about one of the high school students she taught struggling with something and going to her for help. The pride Matt felt for his wife was undeniable, and Neil nodded along and let him ramble.

“Anyway, I almost forgot! Allison is putting together a party on Sunday and you have to come,” Matt says after a few minutes.

Neil gives Matt an unimpressed look. “First of all, what is the party even for? Second of all, you know I don’t like parties.”

“I know, I know, but Kevin’s back in town! Plus you got your PhD, we need to celebrate that!”

“I got my PhD two years ago, you’ve got to stop using that as an excuse to have a party.”

Matt grins unapologetically and stares at Neil until he finally says “Fine. But I’m leaving early.”

Before he knew it, Sunday evening was there and Neil was reluctantly making his way to the Boyd-Wilds house. On his lap was a loaf of sourdough bread that he stress baked that afternoon, and a list of conversation topics that he printed off the internet.

While waiting for someone to answer the doorbell, he stuffed the list of questions in his pocket and inspected the cars on the street. There were more people here than normal. Quite a few more. He could recognize Wymacks beat up old truck and Allison's pink convertible, and he was assuming that the rental car across the street was Kevins. There was also a red SUV that he hasn’t seen before, and a very fancy, very shining black car in the driveway.

Allison opened the door like she owned the place, and threw herself on Neils lap for a hug before he could protest.

“I know you were dawdling, your apartment is, like, a block away.”

“Well I can’t walk very fast,” Neil says to Allison while half-heartedly shoving her away. She flicks his nose.

“You can get everywhere faster than me, stop trying to make me feel bad for you,” she sings, then grabs the loaf of bread out of his hand and walks inside without a backwards glance. “Literally everyone got here before you did. Even the monsters.”

Neil comes in hesitantly. There is a great deal of noise coming out of the kitchen, and Neil can see even more people in the backyard through the hallway.

“So… who all came?” Neil says as he emerges into the tight kitchen where Allison disappeared to. There are a multitude of new faces in the kitchen who turn to face him, and he immediately regrets not coming up with an excuse to stay home. Not like any of them would have believed him, but an attempt could have been made.

“Allison, you didn’t say he was that attractive!” a tall man says from the corner. His arms are wrapped around an even taller blond man who smiles genially at Neil and coming forward to offer a hand.

“I’m Erik, and this is my husband Nicky,” the blond man says in a thick German accent.

Allison beams at Neil. “I told you he was cute. And he looks even better when he wears the clothes that I choose for him,” she says to Nicky, giving Neil a pointed look.

“Nicky’s the one doing Matt’s marketing for him now.” Renee’s calm voice comes from the corner, somewhere behind Nicky and Erik. “And he helped Allison with her branding when she started designing.”

Neil hums so they know he heard, then backs out of the kitchen to go to the back. He thinks that he should probably say something polite while he leaves, but Allison and Renee know how he is, and he feels like he’s getting in the way of all the people actually cooking in the kitchen.

The backyard has even more people in it, but it has more space so he doesn’t feel as claustrophobic.

“Neil!” Matt says from where he’s standing at the barbeque with Wymack, sounding like he had no idea that he was coming. Dan and Abby wave at him from their lawn chairs. Another woman is chatting with them, her arm around a short blond man. Kevin is standing near Wymack talking at another small blond man. Neil catalogs the two, checking for differences without thinking about it.

Now he really regrets being here. There isn’t a single group of people that he can talk to that he knows entirely, and everyone else seems to be so comfortable chatting. He briefly considers using Sir as an excuse, but he knows that Matt would insist on going home with him if he thought that there was something wrong with Sir.

“No ones going to bite,” Allison says from behind him, making him jump. He realizes that he is directly in front of the door.

“I should go,” Neil mumbles as Allison walks past him carrying a bowl of salad to the table near the grill. “Nope! You can’t, it's your PhD party!” Allison sings.

Kevin turns around and notices Neil in the doorway. He looks intense, which is just his version of excited.

Allison's announcement has caught everyone's attention and Neil can feel the weight of their eyes. He accidentally makes eye contact with the man who Kevin was talking with, and he shifts his attention quickly.

“It’s not a PhD party, that happened years ago.”

Dan grins. “You know that we’re going to call everything that so you feel obligated to come, right?”

“We just like having you here, Neil,” Renee says sweetly from beside him. Neil can feel his face heating up. “Have you met everyone yet?”

At the shake of his head, Renee introduces the new ones in the backyard. “Andrew is the one with Kevin, he owns the bookshop down the street from the cafe, and then over there is his twin Aaron, and Aaron's wife Katelyn. They work at the hospital together as surgeons.”

“The bookstore you go to all the time?” Neil asks. Andrew is wearing all black despite the summer heat, and his gaze is blank as he watches Kevin get worked up over whatever he’s talking about. Most likely Exy, since he’s been making an Exy podcast since he stopped playing in university.

Renee hums a confirmation. “Andrew and I have tea and cake at the bakery every Saturday. I supply treats to the book club he hosts,” Renee says with a smile. Her bakery is famous around the neighborhood for having the prettiest and most luxurious treats in the city. The woman who helps her run it, Betsy, makes Neil just as uncomfortable as Renee does. That combined with his dislike for sweets means that he very rarely ends up in the shop.

“He hosts a book club?” Neil says, staring hard at Andrew. He doesn’t know why his brain has latched onto the man like this, but he can’t help but be fascinated with how contradictory he seems to be. A man with bigger biceps than Matt who likes Renee's cake (and company) and runs a book club.

Renee smiles, a hint of mischief in her eyes. “Oh yes, you should join us sometime. We’re reading Emma at the moment, in honour of the movie coming out.”

Neil narrows his eyes at Renee, but she doesn’t seem to be joking. He’s saved from the need to answer by Erik and Nicky coming out with more food and Wymack announcing that the burgers are done.

Andrews eyes keep sliding over to the redhead with a deer-in-headlights look as he completely blocks the door. Kevin has not shut up about Andrews' missed chance at going pro, and Andrew started blocking him out ages ago. Nearly as soon as Kevin started talking, actually.

Renee winks at him when she notices where his gaze is fixed and he glares at her. Her smile just grows as she finds a lawn chair near Allison. Wymack interrupts the staring contest by putting out the burgers and Andrew bullies his way into line at the table by the grill to fill his plate. Kevin has moved to the back of the line to talk to the redhead, who takes the attack surprisingly well. He makes eye contact with Andrew and gives him a ‘what can you do’ kind of shrug and smile while he nods along to Kevins rant. Andrew pretends he was never looking at them and loads his plate up with bread and potato salad.

“I invited Neil to book club, I hope you don’t mind,” Renee says to Andrew when he sits down in the empty chair beside her.

Allison leans forward to point her fork at Andrew. “I hope you know that I saw you ogling him.”

Andrew glares at her and Renee kicks her foot gently. “I think you and Neil would get along well,” Renee says.

“Who said I wanted to get to know him,” Andrew says while staring at a smirking Neil arguing with Kevin. Kevin’s face has gone an alarming shade of red and Wymack is watching them with a faintly fond expression on his face.

Allison snorts and turns to Katelyn to chat. Renee wisely changes the subject to her thoughts so far on Emma.

Opening the bookstore first thing in the morning is one of Andrews less hated chores. He likes the way the store smells, and the awed silence that it has before customers come in. Robin, his only employee, always takes the evening shift, so he has the whole morning to himself. He starts by setting up a new display in the front window, losing himself to the satisfying feeling of creating something.

The mornings are usually pretty quiet, since the neighborhood has a habit of waking up late whenever possible. The only other shop open is Renee’s bakery down the street, and Boyd’s vet clinic, which he walked past on his way from his place.

Bee drops by at lunch like she often does, with a mocha and a croissant. Bee is Renee’s business partner in the bakery, and responsible for the pastries. The two of them adopted Andrew into their social circle as soon as he became a regular at the bakery when he first opened the bookstore.

“Renee mentioned that we might have a new member of book club this month,” Bee says as she admires the new display. Andrew does not miss the sparkle in her eye, or the pleased smile that she tries to hide by taking another sip of her hot chocolate.

Andrew doesn’t answer.

“It will be nice to hear new opinions,” Bee muses. He can tell that she’s fishing for a reaction, so he places all of his attention on stacking the newly arrived copies of The Glass Hotel. When he turns around, Bee is watching his carefully.

“You know,” she says slowly, “it’s always a good thing to add to your social circle. Neil sounds nice. Matt always has good things to say about him.”

Andrew gives her a dirty look, which she easily ignores. “And he sounds like someone you would get along with. Allison told me that he has his PhD in some sort of math. And he has a cat.”

Andrew snorts. “So having a cat is supposed to make me overlook the fact that he’s interested in math.”

Bee laughs and gives Andrew a knowing look.

A week later, and Neil is starting to get restless at home. He appreciates that the university allows him to teach online classes, but sometimes too much time with only Sir as company makes Neil think weird thoughts. He decides to get a sandwich from the cafe, after dismissing the thought of bothering Matt at work. He knows that he could always call Allison, since she is the boss and can do whatever she wants (or so she says), but he’s in a melancholy mood and he knows that she would force him out of it. For some reason, he wants to just wallow for a minute.

The day is crisper than Neil thought that it would be, but it’s a good kick to his system. He peaks in the window of the clinic when he goes past, and he’s suddenly glad that he didn’t text Matt earlier. It would just make him worry, and it looks like he’ll be busy today.

At times like these, Neil can’t help but feel just a little bit like a chore for his friends. He can always hear the busyness behind Allison when he calls her during the day, and he knows that Matt drops nearly everything to make sure he’s okay. He could always call Wymack, but Wymack is busy trying to save every kid that he comes across at the clubs he runs. Abby is constantly telling him that he’s no bother, but she is also busy at her work as a physical therapist.

The melancholy back as strong as ever, Neil makes his way listlessly down the street. It’s a quiet day today, and all he has to do when he gets home is mark some tests, so he takes his time eating his sad looking sandwich.

It seemed like fate that the bookstore was directly across the street from the cafe. How had Neil never payed attention to that before now?

It’s as quaint as the rest of the stores on the street, but with a darker colour palette than the rest. The window boasts various beautiful copies of Jane Austen books with a poster with information about the book club. The clean design of the poster reminds him of Allisons, and he wonders if Nicky does the marketing for Andrew too.

Neil sits in the cafe for 45 minutes before working up with courage to check out the bookstore.

A small bell rings as he struggles over the cracked concrete at the entrance to get into the store. By the time he actually looks around, Andrew’s flat gaze is heavy on him. He can feel a flush rise up the back of his neck.

Neil clears his throat a few times and tries to pretend that he’s not fazed by the staring. “Renee mentioned that you had a book club?” he says, because he can’t think of anything else to say.

Andrew keeps staring at him. “I think she said the book was Emma, but she didn’t say what day it was.”

“Next Tuesday.”

“Oh.”

Andrew raises an eyebrow. “You’ve got something else to do that day?”

“No, I just won’t be able to read the book by then,” Neil says, and to his horror, he feels the flush move onto his cheeks. He looks at a random book in an attempt to hide it.

When he looks back at Andrew, he’s relaxed back into the chair behind the counter. “Most members don’t read the whole thing before the club gets together. Some of them haven’t even started it, they just come for the conversation.”

“Really?” Neil says. The shame at not being a fast reader is starting to fade. He can’t imagine Andrew lying just to make someone feel better, and he has a strange trust for the near stranger.

Andrew tosses a small paperback book to Neil, and Neil fumbles to catch it. It’s the edition of Emma with the movie cover. Andrew waves away Neils offer to pay when he gets to the counter.

“Book club discount,” Andrew says while fidgeting with his sleeves.

“That’s not a great business practice, giving away books for that many people every month.”

Andrew just shrugs.

Neil’s at home and has read the first chapter of the book before he remembers that he was sad.

“Was that Neil that I just saw leaving the bookstore?” Nicky asked far too enthusiastically as he came barreling into the store not two minutes after Andrews bizarre interaction with Neil finished.

“Nope,” Andrew says and puts his book in front of his face to block out Nicky.

“I love Neil! Is he going to hang out with us now?”

“Why would him coming to the store mean that he was going to hang out with us?”

“So it was him! Ha!”

Andrew rolled his eyes and turned the page despite not having read a single word on that page. When Nicky is silent for a few seconds, he puts the book down to look into his thrilled cousins face.

“I think it would be nice if he joined us for family dinner next month,” Nicky says brightly when he notices that he’s caught Andrews attention again.

“Why would he be invited to family dinner,” Andrew says flatly. He spends a moment putting all of his energy into ignoring the daydream of Neil being a part of the family. Andrew feels like a creep, having this weird little fascination with someone who he barely knows.

“Allison said that he doesn’t have any family. Isn’t that sad?” A hint of true sadness pokes through Nicky’s facade and Andrew is abruptly reminded that Nicky’s family is just him, Aaron, and Erik now. “Plus, he’s funny! Did you hear him sass Kevin at the barbeque? Even Aaron laughed!”

“Aaron didn’t laugh, he was coughing. But fine, I’ll invite him,” Andrew says with absolutely no plan to invite Neil.

“No, I don’t trust you to invite him. I will,” Nicky says firmly.

Andrew doesn’t sleep that night. After knowing that Neil will be at book club, and then at family dinner next month (now that Nicky has taken that into his own hands, Neil won’t have a choice but to come), Andrew is starting to feel the stress that usually only pops up after a particularly bad nightmare.

After much introspection, he realizes that it’s not seeing Neil that's causing the stress, but the way that everyone has been watching their interactions.

As soon as 4am hits, Andrew gets up and walks to the bakery. Sure enough, the light is on in the back and Bee’s yellow Mini Cooper is parked in the employee lot. Andrew knocks on the back door and tries not to make eye contact with Bee, who is wearing a knowing, empathetic look on her face.

Andrew settles at the table in the back and watches Bee work. The silence is soothing, and his muscles relax for the first time all night. After a while, she brings over some hot chocolate and sits down across from him.

“If you want me to get the others to lay off of you about Neil, Renee and I will tell them to stop,” Bee says gently.

“That’s not the problem,” Andrew says, his voice gravelly from disuse. They look at each other for a long moment, both waiting for Andrew to figure out what he means to say.

“Neil doesn’t know, and I feel dirty,” Andrew finally says dully.

Bee hums and takes a sip of her hot chocolate. “Do you want to tell him?”

Andrew snorts. “I barely know him.”

“Well, I don’t think that you should feel dirty. And I’m sure he’s been teased by Allison by now, so you don’t have to worry about him not knowing what the others are saying.”

Andrew lets her words sink in, then nods. “Okay,” he says. “Okay.”

Bee smiles, and brings over a hot chocolate croissant after taking the batch from the oven.

“I don’t think that’s very good business practice,” Andrew tells her, as he takes a burning bite.

He doesn’t feel so conflicted when he opens the bookstore, and it ends up being a better day than he thought that it would be.

Neil is enjoying the book more than he thought he would, but he has had much less time to work on it than he planned. After spending most of his days marking, and helping a student over video conference, he was exhausted. And worried.

He could picture himself making a fool of himself at book club, and all of them realizing that he’s not nearly as smart as they all make him out to be.

“I’m sure it’s going to go great! Renee and Bee both love it, and Abby goes! Erik goes when he can, too,” Matt assures him over the phone while Neil tries to come up with an excuse just in case someone confronts him for not going.

“I’ve only read a few pages,” Neil says slowly.

“That's a few pages more than me! Plus, we both know you have a lot of thoughts about it,” Matt says with a grin in his voice. Neil wishes he hadn’t told Matt about the characters over coffee the other day.

Sir is purring delightedly on Neils chest. “I can’t go, Sir is on my lap,” he tries again.

Matt pauses, but Neil hears Dan in the background. “No! That’s not an excuse! Sir cuddles you all the time.”

Matt sighs into the phone. “She’s right, buddy. I think you’ll have fun. And they have free coffee and stuff. That’s always fun.”

20 minutes later, Neil is miserably locking his apartment door and officially on his way to book club.

The atmosphere is surprisingly warm and cozy in the book shop at 7pm. There’s soft music playing, and people are chatting in little groups. There are only a few people that Neil doesn’t recognize, and the circle of chairs taking up most of the floor looks comfortable. For some reason Neil was expecting this to feel more like a test.

Abby beams when she sees him hovering by the door and waves him over. Neil recognizes the woman she’s talking to as Katelyn.

“We were wondering if you would come,” Abby says warmly, knowing his history of wiggling his way out of social situations.

Katelyn smiles at him and sits on the closest chair so he doesn’t have to look up at her. Neil feels a bit grateful at that, and even more so when she offers him a cheese scone and a cup of coffee from the center table.

Katelyn launches into a story about a patient, and Erik works his way to their group.

“Neil,” he says quietly as a greeting, and Neil gives him a shy smile. “Nicky was wondering if you wanted to come to dinner in a few weeks. He’s promising to make enchiladas.”

Neil swears that his brain short circuits for a moment. “You want me over… for dinner?”

“Here, I’ll get your number and Nicky can text you the time and place,” Erik says, ignoring his shock.

Andrew comes out from the backroom with more coffee, and that seems to be a symbol of some kind for everyone to take their places.

“Okay, what did you think?” Andrew says bluntly, and that’s it. Everyone has opinions, some of them silly and some serious. Half of the group hasn’t finished the book, and Katelyn admits to not even starting it.

Andrew is having a light argument with Bee about whether Emma is a likeable main character with others popping in their two cents when Neil first says something.

“I thought she was kind of fun,” Neil mumbled. When he looks up, Andrew has an unreadable expression on his face.

“See, Bee? She’s fun,” he says in a monotone. Neil has to fight the smile threatening to show.

The meeting is chaotic and warm, and Neil learns a great deal about the people in the room. He learns that Erik is a huge fan of the worst Austen movies, and that Katelyn barely reads but always shows up to book club. He also learns that Andrew is incredibly passionate about the books, but that doesn’t surprise him as much as it probably should.

The only awkward moment is at the end when everyone starts to help put their chairs back in place. When Neil offers to help, the room goes quiet.

“Take this,” Andrew says gruffly and shoves the tray of mostly finished treats at him. Andrew takes the coffee cups and walks to the back, so Neil follows him.

The back room is nearly as cozy as the front of the shop, and a girl that Neil didn’t even know was there is grabbing her bag to leave. Her name tag says ‘Robin’, and Andrew says bye to her almost fondly.

Neil puts the tray on the table in the middle of the room and watches Andrew move efficiently through the cramped space. He has a million questions to ask Andrew, but he’s not sure how to, so he contents himself with analyzing the room.

“You have a question,” Andrew says without turning around.

“I have lots of questions,” Neil says.

Andrew finally turns around and leans on the counter. “I’ll answer if you let me ask you something.”

Neil winces. “If it’s about the scars, you don’t need to bribe me to answer them.”

“It was something else, actually.”

Neil fidgets with the wheels for a moment. “Fine, I’ll answer your questions if you answer mine.”

Andrew tosses his phone to Neil, and Neil feels a little thrill as he enters his number in. He texts himself so he can program the number into his phone. Matt’s going to be so proud to hear that he got two numbers today.

Andrew doesn’t say anything when he gets his phone back, just puts a tupperware container on the table so that Neil can pack up the leftover treats.

Before Neil leaves, Andrew says “Next months book is Atonement.”

Neil wakes up to four text messages. One is from Matt asking how the night went, one is from Erik warning him that he gave Nicky his number, one is emoji filled from Nicky, and the last one is from Andrew. It just says ‘You go first’.

Neil spends his whole morning messing up his marking because he’s thinking too hard about what his first question will be for Andrew. He gives up trying to work when Sir knocks over his coffee and nearly breaks his laptop.

Neil: What made you want to own a bookstore?

Andrews reply comes faster than Neil was expecting. He feels a little thrill when he hears the ping of his phone.

Andrew: Everything you could ask me, and that was your question?

Neil: You never said that there were topics that weren’t allowed.

Andrew: ...exactly

Neil startles when his phone starts ringing on the sofa beside him. Sir gives him a wide eyed look until he picks it up.

“I thought you were at work,” he says to Andrew.

“I would say the same thing about you, but I’m starting to doubt whether you actually have a job.”

“I do have a job,” Neil says smugly. “I’m a university professor. I teach online classes. And you’re avoiding my question.”

“There aren’t any customers in here, smartass,” Andrew says not unkindly. Neil smothers a smile. “So do you still persist in asking me why I wanted to own a bookstore?”

“Yep.”

“I didn’t want to do anything,” Andrew says.

Neil stays quiet and waits for him to give him the rest of the answer.

“I like reading, and I don’t like libraries.”

“Okay,” Neil says. He feels strangely content on the phone. Normally he sucks on the phone, and forgets to answer. “Your turn.”

Andrew is quiet for a moment. “Why did you come to book club?”

“Matt told me I needed more friends, and he wouldn’t let me use Sir as an excuse not to go,” Neil says honestly. He’s found that ever since he became a real boy all those years ago, he has a hard time lying. It always leaves him feeling gross and wrong.

Andrew huffs on the other end of the phone. “You seem to have lots of friends.”

“That’s what I said. The argument wasn’t accepted.”

Sir meows at Neil until he arranges himself so she can sit on his lap.

“Is that your cat?” Andrew says, breaking a comfortable silence.

“You already asked your question,” Neil teases, tangling his hand in Sir’s fur. She starts her wheezing, loud purr and he can hear Andrew huff again.

“Tell your broken cat that she won’t make me look over your interest in math,” Andrew says.

“What?” Neil laughs. “Who told you I taught math?”

“You’ve caught everyone's attention. I can’t walk down the street without hearing a new fact about you,” Andrew says dryly. “Anyway, math is awful and a terrible subject to choose to study.”

“Math is interesting! It’s the only universal language!” Neil says, not nearly as upset about Andrews accusation as he normally would be. He’s halfway through a tangent on the wonders of math before he catches himself.

“Sorry,” Neil says sheepishly. “You’re probably not interested.”

“More than you would think,” Andrew says, sounding perturbed. “There’s a customer.”

Neil is surprised by the amount of disappointment he feels when the call stops.

It becomes a habit during the slow times in the day. Andrew calls Neil when he’s bored and finished putting away any new merchandise, or Neil will call Andrew when he’s tired of trying to understand his students confused writing. So far, Neil has learnt that Andrew was in juvie as a teen, and grew up in the foster care system. He learns that Nicky is their cousin and that he took surprisingly good care of Andrew and Aaron when they were angsty teens, and he learns that Andrew has always struggled with touch. He learns lighter things too, like how Andrews favourite movie is Baby Driver (but he will never admit that to anyone else because he has a reputation to uphold), and his favourite colour is blue.

Neil returns the favour but giving away as much information as he’s getting. During their eighth phone call he has a panic attack when he tells Andrew about his father, and how he came to be in a wheelchair. Andrew talks him through it calmly, and doesn’t give him any weird looks when he visits the bookstore two days later.

The month runs by much faster than Neil is used to, and he hasn’t called Matt in a lonely depression a single time. He feels oddly proud of himself for it.

When Nicky texts to remind him of the dinner that him and Erik are hosting, Neil is almost looking forward to it. He has heard from Nicky almost as much as Matt, and the texts have been just as enthusiastic.

He spends the afternoon before baking bread while he chats with Andrew. Andrew had practically forced him into accepting a ride in his ridiculous, fancy car, and has spent the entire afternoon giving him various warnings about Nicky and Aaron.

“Nicky will hug you,” Andrew says with a voice that sounds like he’s informing Neil of a death. “More than once. Erik’s not bad, but Nicky’s a hugger.”

Neil laughs while he kneads the bread. “It’s okay, Allison sits on my lap every time she sees me. People keep thinking we’re dating.”

Andrew hums in acknowledgement and continues with his warnings. “Aaron is judgy.”

“And you aren’t?” Neil says, thinking back to all of the customers that Andrew has thoroughly made fun of.

“He’s a different brand of judgy. Katelyn keeps it down for the most part, but he’s very rude,” Andrew says, like he doesn’t have any similar traits.

“How often do you all have dinner together?”

“A few times a year. Nicky insists on our family dinners.”

Neil pauses. “It’s a family dinner?”

The line goes quiet.

“Andrew? I can’t crash a family dinner,” Neil is starting to feel the root of panic in his chest.

“You wouldn’t be crashing it. Nicky and Erik invited you.”

“But he didn’t say it was for family,” Neil says nervously. Sir meows at him and jumps in his lap. He attempts to shove her off with his elbows so he doesn’t get flour on her.

“Neil,” Andrew says calmly. “I’m coming to get you in three hours. Sir is not an excuse to not come.”

“Fine.”

As promised, Andrew shows up at Neils door three hours later. His mouth goes dry when Neil opens the door. Neil has never put much effort into his appearance, so Andrew is definitely not ready for the button up shirt and styled hair. Neil's apartment smells like freshly baked bread, and the cat that he hears on the phone all the time is sitting comfortably on Neils lap, unconcerned with the fact that Neil is moving around the apartment and fidgeting while she does so.

The apartment is spare, with lots of space between furniture for Neil to move around. The kitchen counters a lower as well, and Neil navigates the room efficiently and quickly. He pushes off Sir with some reluctance, then grabs a loaf of bread and shoves it into Andrews hands so he can put on his jacket.

“You look nice,” Neil says nervously.

Andrew can feel his ears heat up. “You do too,” he says, though it comes out flat and uncaring. Neil beams anyway and leads the way out.

“You don’t have to be nervous,” Andrew finally says when they are both in the car and on their way. “Nicky would die for you.”

“Nicky barely knows me,” Neil says, looking baffled.

“It only takes him a few minutes to latch on to people. Look at me and Aaron. One glance and now he won’t let go.”

Neil smiles gently at him and goes back to fidgeting with his cuffs.

Andrew had never payed attention to the accessibility of places until he met Neil. He is extremely aware of how cracked and uneven the pavement is in front of Nicky’s, and all he can think about is how cramped the living room is.

Neil is looking at the pavement with trepidation. “Would you be able to help me, maybe…” Neil says quietly.

“Yes.”

Neil nods and pops open his wheelchair, moving into it with practiced ease. Andrew waits for him to get comfortable before standing behind him give the chair a push.

They make it safely to the front door, and as Nicky welcomes them in, Andrew notices that the furniture in the living room has been moved so there is more space. Erik notices him looking and smiles, offering a hand to Neil as they come inside.

Aaron and Katelyn are already there, sitting in the dining room. Katelyn greets Neil just like she had a book club and starts a conversation with him about their next book. He can see the relief written all over Neils expression.

When Andrew looks over at Aaron, he’s watching him and Neil with an inscrutable expression. Andrew offers the bread to Nicky, not bothering to say it was from Neil. They all know that Andrew has very little patience in the kitchen.

Dinner goes better than Andrew had hoped. No one questions Neil's place there, and he seems to have a good time talking to Erik in German. Andrew interjects every once in a while, and Nicky looks like he’s going to cry when Erik lights up when he realizes that Neil speaks his language fluently.

It’s not until dessert that Aaron opens his mouth to Neil.

“So what makes you so special?” Aaron says, fixing Neil a suspicious look.

Neil blinks, and pushes his plate of dessert to Andrew to finish.

“Umm…”

Katelyn elbows Aaron and gives him a significant look, and Nicky just looks tired.

“Normally only family gets invited to family dinner. And Andrew won’t even take the time out of his day to phone his own twin, so it’s kind of funny that you made your way in so easily.”

Neils expression shutters and Andrew pushes away the dessert.

“I’m sorry,” Neil says in his professional voice. “If I would have known that this was just for family, I would not have intruded.”

“Aaron, Erik and I invited him,” Nicky says with a look that Andrew hasn’t seen since they were teens and Erik was still in Germany.

“Neil, the bread you made was incredible. Do you bake often?” Katelyn says sweetly. Aaron catches her eye and they have a bit of a silent conversation while Neil stares at his plate.

“I just think it’s unusual that everyone loved him so quickly, that’s all,” Aaron says. The room, except Neil, seems to collectively understand what's happening at the same time. Aaron is upset that they took Neil in so quickly when he had to fight for Katelyn, and when Nicky had to fight for Erik.

“I think we’re done here,” Andrew says when he realizes that Neil isn’t going to say anything else. Neil knows the rocky history between Aaron and Andrew, and he didn’t seem to get in between the two of them.

“Would you like to take home some of the pudding, Andrew?” Erik says sadly. Nicky looks like he’s valiantly fighting off tears, and Katelyn's face is nearly as stoney as Neils.

“No, we’re going to go,” Andrew says, and Neil follows him out of the house. Andrew waits at the door so he can help him over the pavement, and no one says a word until they are both settled in the car.

“I told you I shouldn’t have come to a family dinner,” Neil says quietly. Not in a blaming way, just sadly.

“That’s bullshit,” Andrew says. His hands are gripping the steering wheel with more force than completely necessary.

“It’s okay Andrew. I didn’t want to cause a fight.”

“You didn’t cause one.” Andrew stops at a stop sign and turns to look at Neil. “You didn’t cause one, it was already there.”

He waits for Neil to nod before he goes again. The rest of the trip is quiet.

The excitement doesn’t catch up with Andrew until a few days later. He thought that he was dealing fine with Aaron until he woke up and couldn’t get the energy to get out of bed.

It would be easy to be mad at himself. He has a habit of doing that. Bee and Renee always tell him that healing is just like that, two steps forward and one step back, but it’s easy to forget how devastating it is when the step back comes.

He closes his eyes for a few minutes and it’s already 9:30.

The minutes drag by slowly and too fast all at the same time. He’s too hot but there isn’t any energy to push off the blankets or open a window. He stares blankly at the ceiling and fights desperately for the memories not to overwhelm.

He isn’t sure what time it is when his phone rings. He lets it go, but it starts ringing again after.

He finally reaches over to answer, not saying anything once the call connects.

“Andrew?” Neil’s tentative voice says through the speakers. “I’m at the store and it’s still closed. I was worried.”

Andrew can hear the concern. He sighs and closes his eyes again.

“Do you want me to hang up?”

“No.” Andrews voice is gravelly.

“Okay,” Andrew can hear Neil's wheels against the pavement. “Do you want me to come over? You can say no.”

Andrew barely has to think it over. He doesn’t want Neil to see him like this, but he can’t get out of bed and he needs someone to open the window for him. He gives Neil his address and holds the phone to his ear while he waits. Neil doesn’t hang up.

When Neil gets there, he tells him where the spare key is, and the front door clicks open not long after.

“Andrew?” Neil's voice echoes through the quiet house.

“Hey,” Neil says when he gets to Andrews bedroom door. He doesn’t come inside, just talks from the hallway. “Have you eaten anything yet?”

Andrew turns to look blearily at him, and Neil leaves to look around in the kitchen. He comes back some time later with toast and a glass of water, and waits for permission to come into the room. He sits beside Andrews bed and starts reading Atonement out loud while Andrew eats, stopping every once in a while to make sure he stays hydrated.

Andrew doesn’t know how long they sit like that before his brain stop cycling and he’s able to look at the room clearly.

“You can stop,” Andrew says when he realizes that Neil’s voice is starting to go from talking so much. “Here,” he says, handing Neil a blanket from his bed. The room is getting cold with the window open, but he doesn’t want it closed yet.

Neil leaves much later, once it’s already dark outside, and Andrew manages to get some real sleep that night.

“Seriously buddy, I can’t believe you didn’t just chew him out,” Matt is still going on over the phone about the failed dinner party from a week ago. Neil is updating one of his courses while Matt rants. “What a dick move. Although, now that I think about it…”

After the silence goes on for longer than necessary, Neil says “Go on.”

“It’s notoriously difficult to get an invite to a Minyard family dinner.”

“You’re acting like it’s the Met Gala.”

“Hey, you remember what the Met Gala is! And I’m serious. It took Katelyn, like, two years of dating Aaron before she was allowed to go. Andrew refuses to have extra people there.”

“I know, that’s why Aaron was mad. And stop talking about Andrew like he’s not being reasonable.”

Matt is quiet for a bit. “I just think that Andrew should have been more open minded to Katelyn, and I wish that Aaron hadn’t been rude to you.” “You don’t know the whole story.”

“I know,” Matt sighs. “Out of everyone in the whole world, why did you choose Andrew Minyard?” The question doesn’t sound judging, just genuinely curious.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve never looked twice at anyone else. What is it about Andrew that caught your attention?”

“Andrew and I aren’t dating,” Neil says for the millionth time. Although, the more he thinks about it, the more Neil decides that maybe he would like that.

The usual suspects are at book club that Tuesday, all clutching their versions of Atonement. Some are filled with post-it notes and written all over, and others are in impeccable condition. Neil’s is somewhere in between. He didn’t manage to finish this one yet either, but he was pretty proud of himself for getting almost three quarters of the way through.

Erik and Katelyn come over to talk to him before anyone else. Neil can tell that it’s an apology of sorts, but he’s just glad that they don’t mention anything outright. He would rather pretend that nothing happened.

He waves at Andrew when he comes in, and Andrew gives him his coffee before putting the rest of the mugs down on the table. Katelyn winks at him for some reason at that.

The conversation is more somber for this book, but Neil enjoys it just as much, and he has much more to say now that he’s more comfortable with everyone. He also notices that there are more savoury options on the sweats tray.

Neil stays back to help clean the dishes in the back, and then stays after they’re all done. Bee smiles at Andrew before she leaves, and Erik promises to organize a movie night or something with them all, and then the shop is empty except for Neil and Andrew.

“I have a question,” Neil says before he can lose his nerve.

Andrew nods once and watches him intensely, like he always does.

“Are you… Would you-,” Neil tries to line up his thoughts into a sentence that doesn’t sound weird or embarrassing.

Andrew doesn’t say anything, just watches him fluster his way through his words.

“I would like to kiss you,” Neil finally says.

“That’s not a question,” Andrew says, and for the first time in months, Neil can’t quite read his expression.

“The question was implied,” Neil says nervously.

“If this is some sort of sexuality crisis, I don’t want to be your experiment.”

“This isn’t a sexuality crisis. I’ve never been interested in anyone like I am in you.”

Neil’s pretty sure that the shop has never been this silent before. “I’ll leave,” Neil finally says. He can feel a rock in his throat that makes him want to be in bed with Sir’s comforting warmth on his chest. He tries to not think of the fact that Andrew probably won’t call him tomorrow like he usually does.

“Don’t be stupid,” Andrew says before Neil can get to the door. He raises an eyebrow after Neil turns around. “I didn’t say no.”

“You didn’t say yes either.” Andrew's face does something complicated. “Yes.”

Neil goes to Andrew, where he’s still sitting in the one armchair that he always chooses for book club.

“Yes?” Neil says when he’s right beside Andrew.

Andrew’s eyes are dark when he says, “yes.”

Andrew kisses as passionately as he argues about books, and Neils mind stops for a blissful moment. He can feel every inch of Andrews hand pulling him in by the back of his neck, feel the heat of Andrews body being so close.

He feels dazed when Andrew pulls away, and is pleased to see that Andrew looks nearly as ruffled as Neil feels.

“Would you like to go on a date?” Neil says.

“I thought you already asked your question,” Andrew says, eyes dancing with mirth.

“Technically the first one wasn’t actually a question.”

Andrew's mouth quirks up on one side.

Their date turns out to be a nice dinner at a park that Neil later admits was suggested by Allison. Andrew doesn’t mind, because he’s pretty sure that it would have been at the cafe if it was just up to Neil.

Andrew wishes everything was as easy as it was to start seeing Neil. Neil was practically incapable of keeping his emotions in around Andrew, and his bluntness made sure that miscommunication was avoided.

Aaron was a different story. All that Andrew wanted to do was ignore everyone else and let them figure out that Neil and Andrew were… something. Dating, he supposed. Unfortunately, Bee nearly forced him to talk it out with Aaron.

So here he is, holding his phone on a Saturday morning, waiting for his brother to pick it up.

He sighs when Aaron picks up, and is briefly tempted to just hang up and continue their relationship as it’s been for the past few years.

“Andrew?” Aaron says groggily. He sounds worried.

“Aaron.”

“Are you… dying or something?”

Andrew sighs again. “No. I wanted to talk.”

There’s a stunned silence, and then the sound of Aaron getting up and moving around.

“Okay,” he says hesitantly. “That’s… nice. Good. How is the store?”

“Good.”

“Okay.”

Andrew resists the urge to sigh again. “How is your job.”

“The hospital has been good. Busy, like always, but it’s been really good. Katelyn is working today, actually, so it’s just me home right now.”

The silence stretches like an elastic. Andrew wishes that he was talking to Neil, then blinks in surprise at his thoughts. He didn’t realize how much he actually enjoyed just talking to Neil.

“Is there something that you wanted to talk about in particular?” Aaron asks.

“I,” Andrew starts. It’s more difficult to get the words out than he thought it would be, but he squares his shoulders. “I am sorry that I didn’t like Katelyn. And Neil and I are together.”

“Oh. I mean, I knew you guys were dating.”

“No, you didn’t,” Andrew says, not bothering to explain that they didn’t start until recently. Aaron just huffs.

“Well, thank you,” Aaron says. “And… I’m sorry. About what I said to Josten.”

Andrew nods once, even though he knows that Aaron can’t see him.

“Erik invited us to that movie night. Are you going to come?”

“Yes,” Andrew says, already exhausted by this conversation.

“Okay. Well, see you then.”

“Yep,” Andrew says, then waits for Aaron to hang up.

Neil is stuck in that moment between sleep and waking, the feverish version of everyday life. He can see the soft grey of his bedroom wall, and the brick of the basement in Baltimore at the same time. Hear the whir of the ceiling fan and the giggles of Lola, smell the citrusy scent of his cleaning supplies and the metallic tang of blood.His legs ache in both realities.

As his mind clears, he realizes that the pain in his legs is likely what brought the past back so clearly. He stares hard at the white ceiling in an attempt to stop the thoughts spinning around his mind.

Tonight is movie night, he remembers.

It’s raining outside, the first rain for most of the summer and probably the reason for the constant discomfort in his tendons. He was hoping that he was past this, even though Abby was always warning him that there would always be times that this would happen. Long term pain couldn’t be avoided with that much damage, he would just have to have plans in place for when it hit.

Neil spends most of the morning trying very hard not to move, and not to think about his legs. It’s harder to distract himself when he doesn’t have anything to entertain himself. Sir seems thrilled with their extended lie-in, and he contents himself with watching her little belly move while she breathes.

The abrupt ringing of his phone startles him, sending sharp pains down to his feet. It takes eons for Neil to move enough that he can reach the phone. It’s already gone to voicemail by the time he’s caught his breath enough to look at who called. He calls Andrew back immediately.

“Nicky wants us to come by at 4 so we can have dinner and talk first,” Andrew says with vague disgust in his voice. It’s almost enough to make Neil smile. Unfortunately, he feels to guilty about the fact that he isn’t sure whether he’ll even make it to Nicky’s tonight.

“Hi,” he says to Andrew. “That’s usually how people start their conversations. With a greeting.”

Andrew snorts quietly. “Because you always follow societal conventions.”

Neils stifles a groan as he tries to sit up. He gives up in an awkward, half slumped position.

“Neil?” Andrew’s tone has changed and Neil realizes that Andrew had said something.

“Sorry, what were you saying?” he says, strain evident in his voice.

“What's wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m fine.” Neil can hear how pathetic it sounds, and desperately hopes that Andrew doesn’t. He doesn’t want Andrew to see how high maintenance he is when they’ve only been dating for a little bit.

“Where are you?” Andrew sounds concerned, and Neils gut clenches a bit.

“I’m at home, I’m fine.” “I’m coming over.”

“No, you don’t need to. You’ll see me tonight, anyway.”

Neil can hear a murmured conversation, muffled by a hand. “Robins taking the desk, and I’m coming over.”

“Wait, Robin is there? What time is it?” Neil can feel the first sparks of anxiety.

“It’s almost 2,” Andrew says, panting slightly as he walks.

Neil thinks of all the things he was supposed to do today. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to come to movie night,” Neil says, trying to quash the panicked note in his voice. “I have a lot to do today, I was supposed to have an online meeting at 10 and I totally forgot. And I need to record a few audio recordings to go with the notes for the last unit. And-”

“Neil,” Andrew waits until Neil stops rambling. “I’m at your door and I’m coming in, okay?”

Neil makes a noise of assent and clutches the phone to his ear until he hears Andrew walk in.

Andrews silhouette fills the doorway to Neils bedroom seconds later, and he becomes overly aware of how he looks, sagging on the bed with blankets strewn around him. Sir sits up sleepily and blinks at the intruder, then starts to have a very noisy bath. Neil gives Andrew a guilty look.

“What's wrong?” Andrew says, and his voice is so gentle that Neil has to blink away tears.

“I just slept in, thats all,” Neil says, like his bedroom doesn’t look like a murder scene. He thinks of the wheelchair, walker and other equipment sitting around his room. He’s trying to remember whether he put away all of the physical therapy equipment when Andrew sits down slowly on the edge of his bed.

“Are you sick?”

Neil sighs. “No, it’s the rain.”

A small wrinkle forms in between Andrews brows.

“My legs. The change in weather makes them hurt sometimes. Which is stupid, because the weather is always changing around here.” Neil tries to smile and fails miserably.

“What can I do?”

Neil blinks rapidly at the ceiling. He can hear Sir leave the room and feels irrationally abandoned by her.

“Have you eaten yet?” Andrew says, changing tactics. He leaves too when Neil shakes his head, and the lonely feeling reappears.

Both the cat and his boyfriend come back minutes later, the latter carrying a plate of food and a mug of tea with him. He also has pain pills in his hand.

“I was assuming that these would help, though I’m not sure how they were going to do that from the kitchen,” Andrew says.

“I have to have them with food.”

Andrew has managed to find one of the fancy trays that Allison bought him years ago and helps him prop himself up against the pillows before placing it down on his lap. There are fresh cut strawberries and bread with honey on his plate, and Neil stares at Andrew while he bustles around the room. He’s so focused on how his hair shines in the sunlight now streaming from his window that he almost doesn’t notice that Andrew’s cleaning the floor so that his wheelchair can move around easier.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Andrew says, but the blush rising in his ears betrays his feelings.

“You didn’t have to come here,” Neil says.

“What do you do when you’re by yourself and this happens?”

Neil shrugs. “I lie in bed until I think that I can manage moving, and then I take the pills with crackers or something. And then I end up sleeping on the couch most of the day because the pills make me feel weird.”

Andrew thinks for a moment. “Do you need ice? Or a heating pad?”

“Ice would be nice,” Neil mumbles into his tea.

Andrew pauses in the doorway, looking oddly hesitant. He nods to himself before opening his mouth. “Do you ever resent being in the wheelchair?”

Neil considers the question for long enough that Andrew almost leaves without an answer. “I used to. I was really angry after it all, and it felt like I couldn’t do anything by myself. But once all of the bandages were off and Abby had taught me how to do everything, I was really glad for the wheelchair. It means that I can be independent and move around without as much pain as the walker. And there are some benefits,” Neil grins. “I can move around the apartment and still let Sir sit on my lap.”

Andrew turns around, but Neil catches the small smile on his face before he goes.

Half an hour later and Neil is swaddled in blankets, comfortably full, and sandwiched between Andrew and Sir while they watch a baking show that Andrew made him swear that he would never tell Nicky that he liked.

Matt and Dan have always tried to get Neil to call them over when this happened, and now he is starting to see why. He feels safe and almost comfortable, the pain down to a manageable level with the care that he has been given. He wonders what it would have been like if he had admitted to needing help years ago.

“How would you feel about inviting everyone here instead,” Andrew says suddenly, pushing Neil out of his head. “You don’t have to. We could reschedule movie night, Nicky would understand.”

“Aaron wouldn’t,” Neil says with something close to a pout.

Andrew’s lips twitch upward before he gets control of his expression. “Aaron would understand too.”

“I couldn’t feed them, though,” Neil says morosely. He had been looking forward to this, strangely. Maybe because this time his friends were invited too. It was sure to be loud and chaotic, but Neil thought that it would be nice for all of his favourite people to be in one room.

“Idiot,” Andrew says with too much fondness for it to be insulting. “Nicky and Matt will bring food. And Renee’s doing dessert.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, okay.”

Andrew watches their friends and family get comfortable in Neil’s tiny living room. All of them are holding mismatched plates filled with food and have managed to move enough things around that they could all fit in front of the TV.

Neil is sitting beside him in the corner of the sectional, legs stretched out in front of him and a plate of fruit in his hands. He still looks pale and tired, but he keeps giving Andrew a brilliant smile and he belly laughed at a joke that Matt made, so Andrew has decided that offering to bring everyone to him was a good idea after all.

Matt and Dan have somehow contorted themselves so that they can fit on the armchair beside the couch, and Aaron and Katelyn are snuggled up on the other side of the couch. Aaron had even given Neil a respectful nod and a booklet of well-meaning advice on how to care for his legs when they arrived.

(Andrew had seen the way Neil tried not to laugh when he looked through the booklet, and how his muscles seemed to relax at the lack of a rude greeting from his brother)

Erik and Nicky were cuddled on Neil’s comforter on the floor, with Renee and Allison beside them. Kevin was leaned up against the armchair and cheerfully arguing with Aaron about what a proper diet looks like.

The movie had started half an hour ago, but most of them were talking over it while Nicky shushed everyone.

Andrew’s chest is holding an expanding warm feeling while he watches the mayhem, and when he turns to look at Neil, Neil’s expression mirrors the warmth.

When Neil falls asleep on his shoulder later while Sir kneads his lap, and his brother nods acceptance at him, he knows that this will be his future.

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cinnamoncitric · 5 years

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HC: Neil and Allison are besties

(I know Matt is Neil's best friend, but Allison is the closest girl-friend he has)

*apologies for the long ass post*

It started when Neil wanted to buy something for Andrew, so he went to the mall (he hates it, there's too many people)

It was one of those days when he had an itch to run, still, that little last thread of his paranoia tugging at him to just go, and he only realized it once he was trying to avoid a crowd

Turns out he runs into Allison, a desperate glint to his eyes and a panic attack clawing at his throat, only for her to roll her eyes, lock their arms together and order him to follow

She took him to a silent area, with less crazed customers (let's face it, she knows the mall like the back of her hand) and walked with him until he calmed down a bit

Later, they went to a sports store to look at exy items and workout clothes ("you look too much like you want to run for me to let you out of my sight, and now that I'm here I want to enjoy it")

They started bonding after exy from that moment, and left Andrew's present for another day (when Allison told Neil she was going to the mall, and might as well educate him in the art of shopping,

"if I let you go alone and you disappear Wymack's gonna kick my ass, let's go")

Neil respected her because of what she sacrificed for Exy and her talent on the court, as well as because of her sharp tongue, and not because of the way she looked (which was, for once, a relief)

She never sugar-coated her words or showed pity for him, and he liked that

Allison respected Neil because of his newfound honesty

("I don't have anything to hide from you anymore")

and for the way he rips the souls out of reporters and steps on them like they're nothing

IMAGINE THEIR POWER WHEN THEY DECIDED TO USE THEIR SHARP TONGUES ON SOMEONE

Reporters need psychological assistance after and interview with both of them

Their little trips to the mall became more or less frequent (anyone who approached them and made Neil uncomfortable would be ripped to shreds by Allison)

Allison picking clothes for Neil and trying to make him look like a decent human being while still trying to maintain the color schemes he felt comfortable in (and if he eventually started to like other colors as well, that was a victory)

Neil started to feel a little more comfortable around people and wearing other colors and Allison finally found a shopping buddy

Besides Andrew, she is the only one who can get feelings out of Neil on a regular basis

(Matt's too nice to ask, Renee knows it's not her business and never pushes, Dan is more captain than exceptionally close, Aaron doesn't give a flying fuck, and Nicky is oblivious)

She always asks him brutally and honestly, doesn't tend to back down when she knows it's important, and never shies away from honest answers, no matter how hard they are to hear

Neil let her paint his fingernails once, in exchange for extra hours of practice (he took it out almost immediately, but she has a picture on her phone to prove it)

His contact name on her phone is "Run bitch, run"

Her contact name is "Princess" (she put it on his phone and he never managed to change it)

"Neil, darling, if you ever try to run and I find out, I'm going to chase you in these amazing heels of mine. I'm gonna catch you. And then I'm gonna glue your feet to heels so high you are never taking another step in your life"

Allison dates Renee, which is Andrew's best friend (right?)

They go on double dates

(Allison still doesn't like Andrew yet, but she doesn't fear him and that's already a step)

Neil has a shit ton of information about make up that he is never going to need in his life

Neil decided to put his money to use and pay for a fox vacation for the girl's last year, Allison and Matt planned it with him (because boy has NO idea what vacation actually means)

Sometimes Nicky tags along to their shopping trips, and because of that Allison hates the monsters less and less every time

They kept shopping even after she left PSU, as a way to keep track of each other's lives

Whoever says something homophobic close to them just dug their own grave (especially after Andreil outs themselves and people try to give them shit for it)

Whenever Allison is angry, they play Scrabble and try to write as many cuss words and offensive phrases as they can (the most creative wins)

One day, Andrew came home to an expensive box with a post-it on top

"For Neil's scars, since the kid is incapable of taking care of himself"

Andrew puts the lotion on Neil every night and he never knew where exactly it came from

Neil helps Allison pick trip destinations and whenever she is traveling and can't communicate in the national language ("Have you ever been to Switzerland? "Oh, yeah, got shot there" "Cool, can you help me ask someone where the restroom is real quick?")

They have each other on speed dial

Their messages are actually a mess, there's Exy, double dates, make up talk, clothing Allison intends to buy, clothing she would never buy, gossip about celebrities ("Neil what the fuck do you mean with 'who's Lady Gaga?'")

Allison picked his wedding clothes and Neil payed for her wedding dress ("I have money Neil wtf" "You picked my clothes. I can't pick clothes, but I can buy them")

Whenever there is misogyny towards Allison, Neil kicks their asses verbally and physically (those boxing lessons with Matt paid off)

Basically, Neil respects her and validates her because of her actions instead of her appearance, and Allison helps him learn actual self care and they're both little shits that verbally destroy other people and support each other and I'm emotional bye

#the foxhole court #foxes #palmetto state foxes #the foxes #psu foxes #palmetto #palmetto state university #all for the game #allison reynolds #neil josten #bffs #andrew minyard #nicky hemmick #matt boyd #renee walker #andreil #headcanon #my babies

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for-narry · 5 years

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hc that neil actually says I love you and it all starts with matt.... okay hear me out, he never felt it necessary to say I love you, he couldn’t even remember a time where his mom said I love you (but that didn’t mean she didn’t love him, her constant push for his survival, her last words were meant to keep him going, no she never said I love you and sometimes she was heavy handed with a young neil, but don’t they say actions speak louder than words?)

so no neil didn’t really say I love you, that is until matt. after graduating matt liked to give neil a call here and there (come on neil we’re best buds, we have this connection) and so of course matt calls when neil, and by proxy the foxes, win their first match of the season with neil as their captain, and after all the congratulations and “you played so well neil” and after every compliment matt could spew he says “okay luv ya buddy, I’ll hit you up later” neil doesn’t even pause before saying “love u too” (but that’s not to say he doesn’t think about it until after the call has ended,, and wow was that the first time he’s ever said that to someone????)

and after that it just becomes a habit, oh dan called “love you, night”. nicky’s spending the break in germany cause erik’s moving into a new place “yes nicky I love you too” have a safe flight he texts him too and we can’t forget wymack and abby, the first time he says it back to abby she has to pull herself together because neil ‘I’m fine’ josten just told her he loved her back

But truthfully neil’s always aware of when he says it to his family, because now he has a reason to say it

He says it to andrew too, he says it first, “love you bye” after a phone call, Andrew the just grunts and hangs up.... he does say it back eventually, but only once in a while and neil never expects an “love you too” because he’s always known that actions truly do speak louder than words

#bye that was long #but these are my thoughts #andreil #tfc #neil josten #the foxes #the foxhole court

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adamslynches · 6 years

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Happy Kevintines!

Day 2: Friends.

Idk what this is, it’s pretty stupid so I hope y’all enjoy it!!! I just want him to be appreciated dammit.

Kevin Day never really had friends growing up

It’s hardly a secret, anyone who knew where he grew up didn’t blame him for the fact that he hadn’t had the chance to form close relationships with other kids

Of course, he probably had had friend when he was very young, still living with his mom, but those were distant memories now, coming to him in pieces every once in a while. A laugh, an old playground. The smell of his mom’s perfume. Nothing concrete, though.

The foxes were different- they never really wanted him there in the first place so when he finally becomes friends with them it’s fully organic.

Andrew first, of course. They’re not friends, not really, not at first at least. A business transaction, if anything. But after the Raven’s match happens and Neil is still around that transaction is pretty much null and void. Kevin hardly knows where he stands anymore. He wants to be friends with Andrew, he does- and Andrew isn’t being hostile to him, not any more than usual.

It starts out small. Andrew helps him with the referencing on one of his essays, Kevin covers for them when Andrew steals Neil away to wherever they go when they leave. It’s not much, but Kevin hasn’t ever had this before. Andrew stops him from drinking so much at Columbia, Kevin has less awful hangovers. Kevin finds ways to leave them alone in the dorm room more often- he knows that Neil and Andrew like to be alone. He’s not going to begrudge them that.

Neil, naturally, follows. They have a lot in common, it’s only fair that when they’re not arguing they get on pretty well. Unfortunately, they seem to argue most of the time. Neil doesn’t seem to know how else to be friends with anyone- understandable, Kevin supposed. Still, he tries.

Neil’s birthday rolls around, and he looks haunted. Andrew helps, obviously, but Kevin hates the useless feeling that he can’t seem to shift from his chest, so he grabs his court keys.

“Wanna run drills with me?”

Neil looks up at him, glances at his keys. Looks at Andrew, and then nods.

They run themselves ragged on court, but when they stop Neil’s eyes don’t look so dull anymore. Kevin grins, and Neil smiles back as they head to shower.

The next day, Kevin finds a pile of the expensive granola bars he likes in his drawer. Andrew meets his eyes for a second, and nods.

It feels like a victory.

Now that Kevin isn’t so scared anymore, doesn’t drown himself in vodka anymore, doesn’t push people away anymore, the rest of the foxes fall into place easily. Aaron used to just be a drinking buddy, racing Kevin to blackout whenever they got the chance, but Kevin finds out that Aaron is an incredibly good study partner, as is his girlfriend. They meet twice a week in the library when their schedule allows, and Kevin quizzes them while they proofread his essays. It’s nice.

Dan and Matt are easy- they bond over Exy, and Dan. Kevin doesn’t think that he’ll ever be best friends with them, but there’s nothing really wrong with that, is there? He never had the option of choosing his close friends before, and now he’s almost spoilt for choice. He and Dan run through plays together, argue playfully over the best ways to tackle the toughest teams, and they both come to terms with the fact that they both consider Wymack a father figure. Kevin had never had a real sibling before either but as far as sisters went, he supposed that Dan was a pretty good one.

Nicky loves to make friends, Kevin soon finds out. As soon as Kevin makes an effort- asking about Erik more often, complimenting Nicky’s better exy drills- Nicky throws himself into their friendship with the same enthusiasm that he does everything else. Kevin had thought that the monsters would fall apart without the common thread of their drinking nights, but even three months into Kevin’s sobriety Nicky drags him shopping with him often, Aaron studies with him, Neil and Andrew take him on their weekends away sometimes.

Kevin didn’t know why he had ever been worried- they were his friends.

When he comes out to Nicky, they both cry.

The upperclassmen graduate, and Kevin had always thought that he would be relieved- they hadn’t really liked him, or at least he had thought that they hadn’t. Still, they invite him to their graduation party, not a bottle of alcohol in sight. He almost apologises, but Renee quiets him with a gentle pat on the arm. The rest of them nod with her, and Kevin feels like crying all over again.

Kevin is graduating, and he’s terrified.

He shouldn’t be- his career is secure, he already has his pro-team picked out and the Moriyamas are satisfied. Everything had worked out the way he had wanted it to. Better, even.

Still, he hadn’t ever spared a thought to what he would be leaving behind.

His father hugs him when he walks off the stage, and he’s holding his diploma so tight he’s scared that he’ll damage it. Then, Wymack steps away, and Kevin is faced with what remains of the foxes, his foxes. Neil is grinning, and Matt doesn’t hesitate before hugging Kevin too, tight and warm, their scratchy matching gowns clinging to each other. Aaron looks proud, and Andrew looks- well. Andrew doesn’t look bored, and that’s something.

“We did it, man.”

Yeah, they really did.

He’s leaving the next day, he knows it. He needs to be across the country settling into his new apartment, his new team, his new life.

He doesn’t know how to live alone.

Andrew raises an eyebrow at him, and then crosses his arms. “Shouldn’t you be repacking and making another list to make sure you haven’t forgotten anything?”

“You can’t be nice, even on my last day here?”

Neil laughs from beside him. “Not a chance, Day. You’ll go soft otherwise.”

Kevin finds himself laughing.

The airport is packed the next day, but his foxes still go with him to wave them off. Wymack pats his back as he walks away, and as he boards the plane he forces himself not to think about it. Things would be different now, he was sure. Now that the monsters were without him, they’d become even more close knit. They wouldn’t need him anymore.

He had almost driven himself to a panic when his phone buzzes in his pocket, buzzes again.

He pulls it out, and unlocks it, before almost stopping dead in the aisle.

Neil Josten has created a groupchat.

Neil Josten has changed the groupchat name to Fuck you Kevin.

Members: Neil, Andrew, Aaron, Nicky, Kevin.

Kevin swallows hard. It probably won’t be used. Neil doesn’t even carry his phone most of the time.

Then, though, his phone buzzes again.

Andrew: Don’t overthink it, Day. You’re stuck with us.

Kevin huffs a laugh, types a response and sends it. Yeah, he is stuck with them he supposes.

He feels like the luckiest man in the world, with friends like these.

#kevintines #aftg #kevin day #andrew minyard #neil josten #nicky hemmick #aaron minyard #wymack #kevin deserves to be happy #i love him so much!!!!

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gluupor · 6 years

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A spy AU written for the Andreil Week prompt: video games

When Andrew was a teenager he hadn't been able to picture a future for himself. He assumed he'd either be dead or in prison by this time in his life. He couldn't have imagined that he'd ever have a life like this. He had gone to university, he had a safe place to live, he had a steady job, he had friends, and no one had touched him without his consent since he was thirteen. Sure, technically he hadn't graduated university, thanks to Aaron getting him kicked out. And he didn't own his own house, he lived with his cousin Nicky and Nicky's boyfriend, Erik. And his job was helping computer illiterate people with problems of their own making, as a member of the Nerd Herd at the local BuyMore. And he didn't have friends so much as he had friend, singular, and several acquaintances that he didn't hate. And although he'd come to terms with his sexuality and dated a little, he'd never found anyone who could hold his interest. But, still. His life may have not been the most glamorous or exciting, but it was his. He'd worked hard to get this far and he was content. He didn't appreciate Nicky's attempts at trying to improve him.

Which was why he was hiding in his bedroom to escape the party that Nicky had thrown for his twenty seventh birthday.

Keep Reading

#AndreilWeek2018 #aftg #andreil #andrew minyard #neil josten #renee walker #nicky hemmick #kevin day #my fic

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nickireadstfc · 8 years

Text

The Foxhole Court, Chapter 8 – The Hangover: Neil Josten Edition

In which Neil has a hangover that could kill a man, attempts to actually kill a few men (read: the monsters), Wymack is still the best person alive, and Andreil engage in some Totally Straight Bro Time™.

Sounds good? Then it’s time for Nicki to read The Foxhole Court.

So, last chapter was a train wreck. I’ve had lots of you coming up to me trying to restore Andrew’s honour and telling me it wasn’t all his fault, but still. The monsters have lost some serious sympathy points in my books.

(I’ve also been told it gets worse, which, might I add, is not reassuring what the hell.)

Let’s get crackin’ and see if our boy Neil is still alive.

As soon as Neil could breathe again, he twisted and shoved Nicky as hard as he could. He was too sick and weak to push Nicky off the other side of the bed, but the boots he was still wearing would leave bruises on Nicky’s arms and chest.

Alive and kicking, pun absolutely intended.

Also, GOOD. Hit that fucker.

My initial love for Nicky is going through a serious dilemma right now, by the way. On one hand, he’s still the comic relief, which I love, he’s funny and loud and a much-needed ray of sunshine in this otherwise pretty depressing monster squad. On the other hand, he does not seem to understand consent, which goes against every principle I have.

He might have to settle as the Problematic Fave. We’ll see.

“Hey, hey,” Nicky said, trying to deflect him. “It’s fine. Ouch! Relax, will you?”

“Don’t you fucking touch me,” Neil said savagely.

I have a strong feeling Neil says everything savagely. That’s like saying Andrew said something murderously, Seth said something angrily, or Renee said something gently and glitter rained down from the sky, the sun bursts through the clouds and angels sang of everything good in this world.

It’s like, duh, that’s how they function.

“He’s awake?” someone asked from the door.

Neil snatched the alarm clock up and hurled it at the new arrival, who ducked out of the way just in time.

Attempted Kill Count: II.

Aaron and Nicky try to make him feel better by offering him water and food, and carrying him since he can hardly stand due to his Massive Cracker Dust Hangover, an act of niceness that I am totally not buying.

You drug him and were planning to do God knows what with him if he hadn’t had himself knocked out in time, and now you’re trying to play good Samaritan? Y’all can exit stage left.

“Drink up,” Nicky said. “You’ll need all the water you can get today. Crackers’ll dehydrate you like nobody’s business.”

Neil answered by upending his glass on the floor.

“That’s mature,” Aaron said.

Neil threw the glass at him.

Attempted Kill Count: III. Neil is on a roll today.

Neil, smart runaway that he is, does not buy the monsters’ Samaritan act either and instead does what I’d advised Nicky and Aaron to do: Exit stage left, that is to say, he gets the fuck out of there.

As soon as he’s in the vicinity of a payphone, he calls Matt and the other not-entirely insane people on this team, which is pretty much the only sensible thing to do in this kind of fuckery.

“I’m in Columbia with Andrew.“

“You’re – what?” Matt went from half-asleep to wide awake in a heartbeat. The alarm in his voice only made Neil feel worse. “Jesus, Neil, what the hell did you do that for? Did he–“ Matt aborted that and asked again, “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine,” Neil lied.

The fact that this is alarming news to Matt and the gang is fucking alarming news to me. Please don’t tell me this is what happened to Matt last year. Please.

Also, Neil “I’m fine” Josten strikes again.

I am instantly proven right as we find out that yes, this is exactly what happened to Matt last year. Poor Billie Joe. You just rose so much in my sympathy ranks. <3

Neil truck-hitchhikes home which we are skipping because it is, frankly, it’s not that interesting. However, as he gets home, it is time for my undisputed fave to appear again:

Neil wasn’t quite ready to face Andrew yet and he didn’t want to deal with his teammates’ curiosity over his prolonged absence, so he went to Wymack’s apartment instead.

Clearly, Wymack is the solution to everything. Glad my boy Neil and I are on the same page here.

“You should have called me,” Wymack said. “Me or Abby or any of the upperclassmen. All you had to do was say you didn’t want to stay with Andrew. Any of us would have come and gotten you.”

Neil stared at him, to startled to respond.

Hello, and welcome to our popular show Neil Doesn’t Realize People Actually Care About Him, episode 1 of a billion.

Wymack apparently has some strong feelings about Andrew and Neil not killing each other entirely, which is why he calls down Andrew for some Quality Bro Time™ with his bf Neil – in typical Wymack-y manner.

Neil heard [Wymack’s] furious voice loud and clear.

“You have five seconds to get your retarded psycho ass to my apartment! You even think about telling me no and I swear to god I’ll throw Kevin’s contract down a garbage disposal.”

My dude, maybe think twice about using the R-word. Otherwise, what level of i c o n i c. #dicksoutforwymack

Andrew, miraculously, follows that kind invitation instantly, and this is where stuff gets good.

“Have a nice stroll?” he asked, interrupting Wymack’s tirade.

Neil returned his cold stare with a heated “Fuck you.”

Wymack snapped his fingers in front of Andrew’s face, trying to get Andrew to look at him instead of Neil.

Tough luck, buddy, have fun prying those two apart. The fuckers even switch to goddamned German to have some private one-on-one time, ahem.

Pity Neil has to reveal his secret language superpowers so early in the game, though. I was waiting for the epic moment where Neil chimes into a Kevin/Andrew/Nicky conversation in fluent German just to deliver a savage burn.

“How about I start with your parents?”

“Good luck,” Neil said, feeling cold all over. “They’re dead.”

“Did you kill them?”

He said it so casually, like he was asking for the time, that Neil could only stare at him for a minute. (…) Then he remembered who he was talking to and asked, “Did you kill yours?”

What the fuck, you guys. How is this even a conversation they’re having. Who on earth just asks stuff like that.

The twins didn’t know who their father was, and only Aaron grew up with their biological mother. Andrew was surrendered to foster care when he was just a few days old.

Oh. In hindsight, this explains why Andrew referred to their mother as “Aaron’s mother” before, but more importantly: What the fuck, why.

Who does that to a child, heck, who does that to a baby. Surely it’s gotta be healthier for twins to stay with each other? What the hell, Minyards.

Also, how did they pick which twin to keep and which one to give away? Like, “oh, this one looks much nicer, this one looks less like it wants to murder you as soon as you threaten its favourite rattle, better take this one and chuck the other one in the realms of Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind”.

What the actual why.

Did I say this was where stuff got good? We’re not done yet, ho boy. This is where stuff gets really good:

“I didn’t kill my parents,” Neil said. (…) “Riko’s family did.”

OH SHIT OH SHIT HE’S TELLING HIM STUFF OH SHITTTTTTTTTTTT.

What follows may be the first real, pure, top-of-the-line Andreil scene we get to witness. Granted, Neil only gives Andrew the half-truth, leaving out some key details, but essentially, he pours his heart out in front of him. And I don’t only mean the whole factual side of things, but also stuff like “I’m too jealous of Kevin to stay away from him” and “He’s got you at his back telling him everything’s going to be okay” which I wish I’d made up as examples except those are actual quotes from the book.

And, might I add, not only is he confessing that stuff to one of his mortal enemies right now, he is also confessing that stuff for the first time ever to anyone at all.

I’m dead.

Andrew reached up and forcibly uncurled Neil’s fingers from his mouth. He pushed Neil’s hand out of the way and stared Neil down with nothing between them. Neil didn’t understand the look on his face. There was no censure over Neil’s crooked parents or pity for their deaths, no triumph over having backed Neil into admitting so much, and no obvious scepticism for such an outlandish story. Whatever this look was, it was dark and intense enough to swallow Neil whole.

“Let me stay,” Neil said quietly. “I’m not ready to give this up yet.”

Did I say I was dead? I just got fucking reanimated, lived a brief period of happiness, and died again.

WHAT LEVEL OF GAY SHIT. I know it gets even better later, [frieza voice] this isn’t even their final form, but I can’t help but be happy at the first glimpses of canon Andreil.

I am LIVING.

Maybe Andrew’s night out in Columbia had been awful, and maybe he’d never want to say these things out loud, but having the air cleared between him and Andrew to some degree took an enormous weight of his chest.

Fsshgshsgdsjgjscjjs.

My sad baby boy Neil gets some peace and relief and breathing room I cannot believe.

Andrew didn’t look at Wymack. “Neil wants to come with me.”

A day ago, those words might have been an order or a threat, but today Neil heard only truth. He’d chosen the Foxes. He’d chosen to trust Andrew, whatever that meant and whatever consequences it brought down the road. There was no reason or need to hide behind Wymack now.

Are y’all seeing what I’m seeing………… are those…….. first traces of friendship and peace……….. w h a t

As much friendship and peace as you can get with the messed-up murder maniac, at least.

I’m so happy, you guys.

This does not make up for the problems of last chapter (especially my boy Nicky and I still have a bone to pick), but it makes me tentatively look towards an eventually positive future for our angry babies.

Hope was a dangerous, disquieting thing, but he thought perhaps he liked it.

Couldn’t have said it better.

#tfc #the foxhole court #the raven king #the kings men #nora sakavic #nicki reads tfc #it's the return of dicksoutforwymack!!#dicksoutforwymack #edit: edited the parts where I used the m word as I realized it was Not Fucking Okay

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ravenvsfox · 8 years

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can u do kevineil and renison plslllsls ily

sure buddy sorry it took me a sec (I’ll do kevineil here and renison in a separate post :))

SEND ME A SHIP AND I’LL TELL YOU…

who is more likely to hurt the other?

dude this is a toss up because they’re both such BITCHES

like neil is a button presser and he pushes kevin to push himself and he doesn’t realize kev’s limits emotionally BUT kevin doesn’t get neil’s limits physically, and he def works him too hard?? they both canonically cycle through hurting and helping tbh

who is emotionally stronger?

I think Neil has the upper hand bc of his iron fucking will, while kevin’s still a little shaky on standing up for himself when it matters (neil! does not have this problem!). So I think they both have huge fractures in their emotional stability but Neil comes back swinging and Kevin breaks

who is physically stronger?

you best believe they fight about this once a week but it’s kevin

he’s got killer strength in both arms and he’s been intensively training for that little bit longer, aware of what exy could make or break for that little bit longer so he’s jacked

neil is strong but small and lightweight mostly and kevin could beat him in an arm wrestle even if neil used both his arms :/

who is more likely to break a bone?

this is maybe the funniest shit i’ve ever heard ‘who’s more likely to break a bone, the butcher’s son or kevin ‘i’ve never been skiing’ day’

who knows best what to say to upset the other?

when they argue cities are wiped out pal like two men enter one man leaves it’s brutal but tbh it’s always gonna be neil? like it just is. kevin can spit whatever hateful ‘motivation’ he has shoved up his sleeves but neil knows just where kev lives and he’ll go for the kill shot every time

who is most likely to apologize first after an argument?

it’s neil I think?? they’re both stubborn as fuck but I think neil gets so harsh that he scares himself, and he also knows how terrified kevin can be when he’s threatened so like. he’ll feel real bad real quick. In canon he was so pissed at kevin for being a coward, but the longer they’re together the more he realizes that kevin’s just surviving like neil has been his whole life, it just looks different. (after that he starts apologizing by climbing into kevin’s bed or sliding him a shot of vodka or grabbing his gear and kevin’s hand and going to the court)

who treats who’s wounds more often?

like definitely kevin treats neil’s because neil is a gd disaster and kevin wants him FIXED and WHOLE forEVER but also consider Neil grabbing kevin’s bad hand and working the tension out of it?? Checking on him after games bc kevin goes too hard and kevin calls him a hypocrite and then they probably fuck

who is in constant need of comfort?

in a truly shocking turn of events it’s both of them, and the overlap in their nightmares is something that binds them together. Remember kevin’s awkward little offer for help after riko?? and how touched neil was??? Like that’s how it goes a lot of times. They talk out their common ground and tear each others nightmares apart. They have a lot of convergent shit that only they can fully understand about each other, bc they were raised in the same horror show and they helped each other escape

who gets more jealous?

mmmmm I’m gonna say kevin bc neil is very pretty and very unaware of it, and neil is still the least observant man on earth

kevin just feels a lot all the time tbh and he’s so painfully reliant on neil that he doesn’t now how to deal with his place being threatened™️️

who’s most likely to walk out on the other?

okay see: above where I said kevin’s reliant on neil like hi in what world would he walk out on his prized striker and also neil still has his kevin binder and he looks at it when he’s sad don’t tell me either of them could make it one full minute apart

who will propose?

do either of them know what marriage is honestly neither of them would even consider it?? Until -- you guessed it -- kevin gets injured and neil’s like cool hi im here and the hospital is like nah u gotta be married and neil’s like married?? we must be this

who has the most difficult parents?

idk babes what do u think dead murdering abusers or David Wymack?? I’ll give you time to think

who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public?

kevin holds neil’s hand like it’s a leash i’m gonna be real with you

I feel like a lot of these answers are the same as andreil bc they’re.... all........ together

who comes up for the other all the time?

idk who do you think is more obsessed with the other let’s ask neil’s binder full of kevin

who hogs the blankets?

it’s kevin he hogs the spotlight and the ball and the blankets what can I say

who gets more sad?

a BAD question with a VERY BAD answer sorry but they both do pal. buddy. dude. they had terrible childhood’s and a brutal time cutting themselves free and they’ll never be all the way better (but like they get really really close. together.)

who is better at cheering the other up?

depends on ur definition of cheering up bc neither of them are particularly cheerful lads

if Neil’s in a rut kevin will just nudge him and suggest Exy and if that doesn’t work he’ll drag neil out drinking or driving (not both lmao) and neil kind of hates it but at least he’s not empty

(when neil asks kev to play exy it’s always yes)

who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?

this....... doesn’t happen........... kevin & neil doen’t know what a joke is........ u know that ‘it went over your head’ ‘nothing goes over my head, i would catch it’ meme from gotg.. yeah... that was written about them

who is more streetwise?

uhhh definitely neil? like their origin story is literally that kevin was put on this hyper sheltered restricted path and Neil was plucked off of that same path and put on the run

Kevin was swaddled in fear and routine so he couldn’t move. Neil was set loose into a war zone, and he knows his way around that war zone now

who is more wise?

depends on what ur asking mate. History trivia kevin’s your guy. math problem, get Neil. Exy, they can fight to the death tbh

like they’re both pretty dense about a lot of obvious things but intensely intelligent in specific fields so pick your poison

who’s the shyest?

I think kevin participates in a sort of forced shyness? like he has his public face and he has his obnoxious callout asst. coach mode, but his actual true, scared, caring core?? we almost never see it. Neil’s bitchiness is an echo of his actual frustration and passion and kevin’s is more definitely a front

who boasts about the other more?

guys holy shit remember when neil wiped riko across the floor at that first talk show reunion situation?? Neil’s constantly like ‘HI kevin’s king of the castle and ur a dirty rascal, eat my ass’ like he might fight him in private but he thinks kevin created the world, like he physically can’t imagine Exy without Kevin in it

who sits on who’s lap?

im laughing picture kevin trying to sit in neil’s lap the height difference would be. something

but also kevin likes to be protected so catch him lying down w his head in Neil’s neck and his feet dangling off the bed

(also neil sits in kevin’s lap and kevin looks up at him like he’s GOD)

#a pairing that I have not spent enough time considering and will now be thinking about forever #kevineil #aftg #the foxhole court #hc #ask meme #long post #Anonymous #ask

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tsoaandpatroclus · 8 years

Text

dan and kevin sibling hc's

•dan is average height. kevin is 6'2". think about it.

•they have family dinners with wymack and abby on the weekends, and with every family dinner, the more dan gets to see who kevin really is under his exy-obsessed exterior

•she knows, now, that he only loves and breathes exy so much because it brings him closer to his mother

•later, in the future, she’s talking to someone and refers to kevin as her brother. she doesn’t catch the slip up until much later, and even then, she doesn’t really think it was a mistake

•kevin and dan becoming gossiping buddies with Sibling Nights. it started when kevin interrupted dan’s Girls Night one too many times and allison and renee got so fed up with him they left

•kevin usually wears whatever face masks dan buys for them and tries to learn how to paint nails without fucking up. he gets better. eventually.

•Kevin showing up to one of their Gossip Nights with four bags hanging off his arms. one is for snacks, two is for fun beauty products he saw that he wanted to try, and the fourth is magazines. they have a blast that night.

•kevin, during practice and before games, likes to stand behind dan and look menacing. it doesn’t work a t a l l, but when neil starts being captain, it starts working on the freshmen

•KEVIN ASKING DAN TO BE HIS BEST MAN AT HIS WEDDING

•dan cries for a solid minute and a half bc hello, her baby brother has grown up so much and also fuck gender roles

•kevin, while waiting for his nails to dry and a clay mask cleaning his pores: do u think andrew would do this thing for me?

dan, flipping through a magazine and waiting for her charcoal pore cleaning face mask to dry: don’t waste ur time thinking about him babe neil is his new man

•this, of course, launches a whole discussion on Neil “Death Wish” Josten

•they bond over their mutual mother hen tendencies when it comes to this 5'3" asshole

•matt is jealous only bc they don’t invite HIM to their Sibling Nights, mostly because hello, he loves face masks, and he loves when he gets his nails painted fun colors, and c'mon dan just one time i’ll be chill i promise!!!!!!!

•let these two siblings be happy

#all for the game #dan wilds #kevin day #i love them so much #brotp: wymacks kids #hc #aftg #pls let them be happy

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nickireadstfc · 8 years

Text

The Foxhole Court, Chapter 6 – Now That We’re All Here, What The Fuck Is Going On

In which we give out awards to characters we barely know, I have questions about demisexuality, Neil turns up the Gay Angst™ and the gang finally gets together although some of them could have fucking stayed home.

Sounds good? Then it’s time for Nicki to read The Foxhole Court.

Neil left reality behind when he stepped into Dan’s room. Spending a month with Andrew’s cracked lot and a volatile Wymack had almost irreparably damaged his image of the Foxes. Now he was sipping a glass of sweet iced tea and eating cookies Renee had brought with her from home.

I’m…….. so…………. What did we do to deserve those angels……………….

[Dan] seemed friendly enough now that Andrew was out of sight, but Neil had already noted her spine. She was made of sterner stuff, his mother might have said. Neil guessed she had to be to captain a ragtag team like this.

Don’t think I forgot the vow I made a few chapters ago:

Well deserved, we honour you and your general badassery with this award today. May your spirit inspire us, guide us, and get our asses back in line when we try being Extra™.

Am I prematurely praising this character? Probably.

Do I care? Absolutely fucking not.

Her roommate Renee was a mystery. (…) Nicky had called her the sweetheart of the team. Neil understood why as he listened to her talk. He had no idea how she qualified for the Foxes’ halfway-house team.

Murderous snowflake, I’m calling it. She probably has the darkest backstory of ‘em all. I’m so beyond intrigued by this character, she has instantly risen to the ranks of my favourites as well.

But all fun girly hangout times must end, and so they drive to the Fox Tower to finally get all the gang together.

Speaking of gangs! Neil’s favourite people, Andrew and the Murder Monster Squad, are back!

“It’s not like we’re going to kill him,” [Nicky said.]

“Kevin already tried,” Matt pointed out.

“Nah, that was just a love tap.”

Nicky knows about the choking kink, you guys.

In an attempt to get the Kandreil ship sailing again make them all settle their differences, Andrew invites Neil to join them on a fun party trip in Columbia next weekend. There is absolutely no way this can go wrong, I’m sure of it.

“Maybe [Allison and Seth] will get in a crash and won’t make it,” Nicky said hopefully.

“Really, Nicky,” Renee said. “That’s a little inappropriate, don’t you think?”

She said it gently, with a hint of a smile on her face, but Neil still felt the rebuke. It was subtler but somehow deadlier than the dirty looks Matt and Dan were sending Nicky, maybe because she was so sweetly disappointed in Nicky’s attitude. Nicky dropped his gaze from hers and gave an uncomfortable shrug.

Honestly, who is this Renee and why does she have such magical powers.

The way I see it, there are two ways this could go: 1) She actually has no deadly backstory (a sad, tragic one at best) and she owns the team’s hearts through sheer niceness, or 2) she is the murderous snowflake I appointed her earlier and has killed like a dozen men in her life, could slit your throat while simultaneously baking sweet cookies for her team, and is generally deadlier than all of them combined.

I’m hoping for the latter.

New character arrivals! The last ones for a longer time, I suppose, so let’s cherish them.

Seth Gordon was the first into the room and he brought an attitude problem with him. He didn’t look happy to see any of them after only a month apart and he barely grunted at the staff in greeting. He took a second to scowl fiercely at Neil, but that was it.

Chill the fuck out, my dude. I’m taking it back, I don’t cherish him. He may be the only character I don’t instantly like, or at least find somewhat interesting.

Seriously, if you only come here to instantly non-verbally shit on everyone I’ve taken into my heart so far, you can fuck off right again.

Allison Reynolds was only a few seconds behind him. (…) Everyone else was in jeans and rumpled from moving in. Allison looked ready for a photo shoot with perfect platinum curls, spiked heels, and a skintight dress.

Okay but. Is it intentional that she has the same name as the basket case from The Breakfast Club???? Because that just makes her overdressed outfit even more hilarious.

Also, glad to see the Extra™ represented on the female side as well.

[Neil’s] skin stung with the memory of his mother’ heavy blows. Life on the run meant no time for friends or relationships, but that didn’t stop Neil from checking out girls as he grew older. His mother’s watchful eye noticed his lingering looks and increasing distraction. Afraid he’d spill their secrets over a childish crush, she beat him like she could kill his hormones with her bare hands. A few years of this violence and Neil finally got the hint: girls were too dangerous to consort with.

Are you telling me that his mom physically abused him for being attracted to girls. That is beyond shitty. That is so, so fucked up. Mom Josten is losing so many previously gained sympathy points right now.

Real talk time, though: How does that tie in with his demisexuality? Because evidently, he did have sexual attraction to complete strangers when he was younger. Is this suggesting that his mother’s abuse made him demisexual? Because that is problematic on so many levels, most of all because it invalidates demi people as it is suggesting you can be beaten into a sexual orientation.

The logical assumption – for me right now at this point of reading – would be that he is actually bi/pan, however his childhood abuse represses that and makes him uncomfortable in his sexual attraction to women as a Pavlovian response, similar to gay kids beaten by their homophobic parents.

Or is there just something else entirely that I’m not getting? There must be, as Nora Sakavic herself said that Neil is demisexual (or so I’ve been told).

Or am I just reading too much into this altogether?

This is v v interesting. If anyone has anything to add to this, do shoot me an ask, but please – please! – keep it spoiler-free.

(If you’re in doubt over whether something counts as a spoiler or not: Don’t send it. I’m serious.)

Back to the matter at hand: Now that all the Foxes have huddled into the Foxy Hol(e)y Court, it’s time for some real talk from Wymack.

“Questions, comments, concerns? Anyone?”

Seth pointed at Neil and said angrily, “I’m fucking concerned–“

Neil guessed Wymack had heard this argument before, because he spoke over Seth like he didn’t hear him. “All right, then. Moving on…”

Ohhh, the shade. Get fucked, Seth.

#dicksoutforwymack

“The death threats [they received last season] were creative, though,” Nicky said. “Maybe this time they’ll follow through and actually kill one of us. Let’s vote. I nominate Seth.”

Me too, buddy.

“Fuck you, faggot,” Seth said.

“I don’t like that word,” Andrew said. “Don’t use it.”

My MAN. <333

“I would say ‘fuck you, freak’, but then you wouldn’t know which one of you I was talking to.”

“Don’t talk to us at all,” Aaron said. “You never have anything useful to say.”

Get fuckin rekt, pissbaby.

You come into my house, you insult my newly adopted characters, you can fuck the fuck off.

Sadly, Wymack breaks up what had been shaping up to be the diss battle of the decade by dropping the Edgar Allan bombshell on them. The entire team freaks out (obvs), but no one more than Andrew – however, it’s weirdly not the Ravens’ transfer he’s mad about, it’s simply the fact that Kevin didn’t tell him.

“When were you going to tell me?”

“I told him not to,” Wymack said.

“You picked Coach over me?” Andrew asked, and laughed. “Ohhhh my. Favoritism, deception, betrayal, how familiar. After everything I’ve done for you.”

What, what have you done for him, I need to know.

“It’ll be fine,” Andrew said. “I promised, didn’t I? Don’t you believe me?”

It took a while, but at last Kevin visibly relaxed. The dead edge melted out of his eyes as he absorbed every ounce of strength Andrew could give him. The unwavering trust Kevin had in Andrew was amazing. How Kevin thought one psychotic midget could protect him against a family as twisted as the Moriyamas, Neil didn’t know.

Honestly, I can’t stress enough how interesting I find their dynamic. They switched from mortal enemies to BFFs within a season, and now they switch from viciously aggressive to almost tender within seconds. I need to know all their backstory and I need to know it now.

(Also, where’s the fanfiction at.)

“Why does Kevin trust Andrew?”

Renee smiled. “Because he knows he can.”

“With so much at stake,” Neil pressed, as if she didn’t understand what was going on as well as he did. Maybe she didn’t. (…) She wasn’t like them. She was normal, or as normal as the Foxes could hope to be.

No, she fucking isn’t, don’t ask me how I know this I just know okay I know my murderous snowflake.

After this, Neil goes back to his roots in reminding us that he is, in fact, the Overlord of Angst™ in this book.

I joke about this, but those passages are always really well-written and super immersive, that is some bomb ass writing right there. Case in point:

Kevin’s fear cut him wide open because Neil knew that feeling. Every day Neil woke up and relearned how to breathe. He gave himself two minutes every morning to calculate his chances of getting caught, weigh the benefits of staying wherever he was, and talk himself through his fear.

Did Kevin do the same? The dead look Kevin turned on Andrew today was the same one Neil saw in his reflection.

Also ayy, back at it again with the Kevin/Neil parallels.

Following that is a lengthy description of Neil’s anxiety that I cannot quote simply because it’s too long. The key elements are this: Kevin, in all his fucked-up misery, still has Andrew to lean onto, while Neil is absolutely alone; Neil is deeply jealous of Kevin’s life, specifically of Kevin and Andrew’s trusting relationship; yet even though he hates him Neil still desperately wants to stick around to see Kevin succeed, and I fucking cry in a corner because that is too much for my poor shipping heart.

Give a girl a break.

Finally [Seth] threw his hands up in disgust und turned on Neil. “And to make it all worse, I get stuck with a fucking amateur as a sub!”

Did I want a break? There it is. Assbrain McFuckface has graced us with his presence once again.

Seth glared at Neil. (…) “We were supposed to make it this year. I trusted [Kevin] to pick our sub because he said he could get us past the championship death match. But this is repulsive.”

Your face is repulsive, Jesus Christ. Take a fucking chill pill, Gordon. You know this guy ten minutes and you’ve never even seen him play at all. Maybe try thinking outside of your tiny monkey brain and consider judging his game before you shit all over him.

(If anyone of you really likes Seth: I’m really sorry. But also: Why tf would you.)

Matt to the rescue!

“At least give Neil a chance,” Matt said.

“Day’s fucking with us,” Seth said. “It isn’t right.”

“This attitude isn’t right,” Matt said, pointing at him.

You go, tall Billie Joe Armstrong. You’re good people.

The chapter’s almost done, save for one peculiar thing that happens towards the very end: Nicky loses Andrew – bad enough – and for some reason, turns to Renee to find him.

Neil knew someone picked up by the way Renee smiles, but he didn’t know how Renee could smile so warmly when she was speaking to Andrew.

“Did I wake you?” she asked in lieu of hello. “I was hoping to talk to you tonight, but Nicky says you’ve wandered off. Oh? All right, then. I’ll try again tomorrow. Lunch, perhaps? Okay. Good night.”

They go on LUNCH DATES??? I’m so fucking invested in this Brotp. Goalie bffs 4 lyfe.

But seriously, who is Renee and why is she so magical.

Find out next time, I guess.

#tfc #the foxhole court #the raven king #the kings men #nora sakavic #nicki reads tfc #dicksoutforwymack

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ravenvsfox · 8 years

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If you're still taking prompts. What if Neil gets a concussion and starts mixing up his languages? I love your writing!

(thank you so much! I had so much fun writing this honestly also HEY apparently language based confusion post head trauma like.. doesn't happen lmao but lets suspend our disbelief y'all)

It’s USC’s new “problem player” who does it.

There’s a scrimmage for the ball in the last quarter, and Neil ends up bodychecked into plexiglass head-first. His helmet goes loose and bounces away before he hits the floor.

Neil’s 5’3” against the backliner’s 6’5” is like pitting an axe against the base of a tree. Neil’s legs quiver like wind through leaves, and then he’s cut down.

Andrew watches the whole thing unravel, the wind-up and the swing and the bounce. Neil topples onto his back with the brutality of a drop from a moving car, and he doesn’t get back up. There’s an awkward minute of shouting and buzzers and repetitive shrugging from the backliner. Andrew leaves goal just as Jeremy crosses the court to jab a finger in his teammate’s chest.

“We do not fight dirty like that! Jesus Christ Trent, If we’d taken that point from them the win would mean what?”

“Nothing,” the backliner replies glumly, eyes down. Andrew takes it as a prime opportunity to punch him across the jaw with his whole weight behind it.

The guy goes reeling, holding his face and looking down at Andrew with slack jawed disbelief — doubtless surprised to find someone half his size had just loosened a few teeth.

Andrew feels Kevin at his back, and Jeremy steadies Trent by the shoulder as he levels eyes at him. “Can’t we be civil for one game?”

Kevin shrugs, sickeningly sheepish. “You’re in fox territory.”

“How could I forget,” Jeremy says, eyes rolling. He says something else but Andrew’s already turning to find Neil, his unchecked injury like an oven left on - the niggling, panicking doubt of it.

Jean’s crouched at Neil’s side, speaking quietly and firmly with his eyebrows yanked together like pursestrings.

“Get away from him,” Andrew says, dizzy with anger. All the times Neil has defended Jean and the things he’d let Riko do surface and clash in Andrew’s head.

Jean looks up, unconcerned with Andrew’s warning. “Something is wrong.”

Andrew puts himself between Jean and Neil, stepping right where Jean’s hands are splayed out on the floor so that he recoils. He leans over Neil and watches his open eyes, the frost of confusion on them.

“Get up.”

Neil finds him, like he’s squinting through smoke. “Je ne peux pas.”

Andrew grabs his shoulders, unamused. “Try again.”

“It was something else a minute ago. Something slavic?” Jean says. Andrew ignores him.

“Andrew,” Neil says urgently, eyes bloodshot and unfixed. “Je suis fatigué.”

“Don’t sleep,” Andrew warns. He pulls Neil to his chest and drags him upright by his armpits.

“Look, I’m sorry,” Trent calls from a few feet away, his team congregating behind him like disappointed parents.

“We’re benching him for the next couple of games,” Jeremy adds seriously. “You deserve better.”

“You touch what’s mine again and you lose a hand,” Andrew says airily.

“Andrew,” Kevin says, mortified.

“I’m okay,” Neil says in choppy German. “I just can’t… gather my thoughts. I’m— what’s the word?” He says something else in french and frowns.

“Fine?” Nicky guesses, coming up behind them. He’s smiling as if at a sick child.

“Fine is “bien”, idiot,” Kevin says.

“It’s— loud,” Neil slurs in english. He looks sidelong at Andrew and says it again in Russian, like he can’t quite tell who speaks what anymore.

“Move,” Andrew says, and Kevin and Nicky clear the door of the court.

“Is he okay?” Matt asks worriedly from behind them. Andrew ignores him, busy with Neil’s weight pressed damply along his side, his quick mouth suddenly slow and scrambled.

“I just need to sit down,” Neil says in Russian, and Matt makes a confused noise that Andrew shuts the court door on.

Wymack and Abby are waiting along the benches and Andrew drags unimpressed eyes over them. It’s like an obstacle course of tested patience, and Neil is a handicap that gets heavier and more worrying the more he’s jostled.

“That’s one hell of a stupid backliner Knox’s got on his hands,” Wymack growls.

Neil swallows and nods and Andrew knows he’s trying to save face by ditching talking altogether.

“Neil sounds like Rosetta Stone threw up,” Andrew says mildly.

Neil looks sharply at him, not understanding the reference and assuming the worst, as usual.

“You don’t say,” Wymack says, mouth tense. “You think you got a concussion?”

Neil shakes his head, wincing.

“A yes or no would be great here,” Wymack says wryly, eyes flickering to Andrew and back again.

“Definitely not,” Neil says in english, voice garbled like his mouth is full of water.

“Well colour me convinced. Abby?” Wymack looks back at her and she nods, moving forward with her kit.

Andrew takes a step away from her, then another, and Neil sways with him.

“Come on,” Abby says, exasperated. “I need to do an exam.”

“I need to sit,” Neil says in German, and then he shakes his head, flinches with his whole face and shoulders, and says it again in english.

“We’ll do it in the team room, then,” Abby allows.

Andrew half-carries him all the way to the chairs inside the team room, letting him down onto the cushion and jamming himself in next to him.

“Are you going to let me touch him?” Abby says, and Andrew blinks at her.

“I’ve gotta get back,” Wymack interjects. “And so do you, Minyard.”

“Put Renee in goal.”

“I don’t know if—“

“I’m not doing your job for you,” Andrew says, tracking the movement of Abby’s hands feeling along Neil’s skull until he gasps. Andrew catches her wrist and Neil nudges him until he drops it.

“I don’t know why I bother,” Wymack says, levering the door back to the court open with unnecessary aggression.

The room goes silent without him, a tense duo who can’t or won’t talk, and Abby too focused to care.

She leans in to shine a slim flashlight in Neil’s eyes, watching his pupils. Andrew’s skin pricks at her proximity, but he’s not leaving Neil’s back unwatched.

“Do you know who you are? Full name?”

“Neil Josten,” Neil says without hesitation. Figures that he would know that in instant, unflinching English, like a beacon in a storm.

“And mine?” Abby asks.

“Abby—” Neil cuts off, and his mouth stays jarringly open as he searches for her last name. “Winfield. Pardon.”

“And we are where?”

“The court,” Neil says.

Abby’s mouth quirks. “A little more specific.”

“Team room. The Foxhole Court. Palmetto State University. South Carolina, the United—”

“Okay, okay,” Abby laughs. “Smart mouth isn’t broken, at least.”

“Is that your professional opinion?” Neil says, Russian again, and Andrew snaps a look at him to find his face shattered with disappointment.

“Now that’s weird,” Abby says. “You sure you’re not messing with us?”

Neil looks flatly at her and she twitches a smile at him.

“Sort of like transient global amnesia,” she muses. “ But much more localized. Like the language centre in your brain got rattled.”

“Fix it,” Andrew says. She frowns, looking between them.

“I can’t exactly reach in there and move things back where they should be. The brain is funny, but resilient. I’d give him a couple of hours before I worry. He seems alert enough. It should sort itself out.”

“‘The brain is funny’,” Andrew repeats. “Is that the best medical diagnosis you can produce?”

“Yes,” Abby says icily. “Keep him focused. I’m going back out there.” She packs up her kit and rises from the floor, squeezing Neil’s knee as she does. “I’m next door if you need me.”

She walks out and Andrew slips from the chair so he’s crouching in front of Neil instead. Their eyes meet, and Neil holds out one hand, offering. Andrew ignores it and reaches up for Neil’s neck instead, hands roving to the swelling back of his head.

“You should learn how to fasten a helmet.”

“Maybe Trent should learn how to play Exy,” Neil says darkly.

Andrew brings Neil’s face down with a lazy push at the base of his skull. “That was English.”

Neil considers this, watching Andrew manhandling his injury. “What if I’m broken for good?” he asks.

“Weren’t you already?” Andrew says, and Neil knocks their foreheads together lightly, reprimanding. He leans in further, and Andrew rocks back on his heels.

“No,” he says firmly. Neil nods, but his eyes have that curtain of confusion draped all over them again. “You’re concussed.”

“I ‘seem alert’,” Neil reminds him. Andrew pushes the centre of his chest until he’s sitting back in the chair.

“That’s not enough.”

They listen to the crowd outside, and Andrew feels Neil get more and more antsy the longer they sit there, the hollow din of cheers and squeaking shoes turning his ear.

The initial adrenaline is diffusing, but Andrew’s fists clench in his lap the more he thinks about Neil’s unsolved maze of a face, the arc of his body as he hit the boards. The threat of a garbled language centre would have meant death for Neil two years ago. It shows on his face.

The game clearly ends when the applause hits the ceiling and Neil tries to stand, only barely contained by Andrew’s hands on his shoulders.

“Can’t we check who won?”

“I’m sure they’ll see fit to tell you,” Andrew says, already bored by the idea.

Sure enough, the foxes roll in on a high of celebration five minutes later, both of Dan’s arms squeezed around Renee’s shoulders, Nicky trying to get Kevin to smile.

“We won the game for you, buddy!” Matt says, and everything on Neil’s face transforms, like he ran himself to exhaustion and happily woke up to find his body dragged over the finish line.

“We heard you were speaking in tongues,” Allison says, and Neil opens his mouth to protest, but loses his confidence at the last second, and his breath leaves him. Allison raises an eyebrow. “That’s a first. Nothing to say?”

“Don’t make fun of his disability,” Nicky says, and he leans down, gaze ping-ponging between Neil’s eyes. “Can you understand me?”

Neil rolls his eyes. “Unfortunately,” he says in German. Nicky opens his mouth to protest, but Dan cuts in.

“Anyway,” she says pointedly. “We fucking killed ‘em. Renee basically locked them out, it was amazing.”

Renee flushes happily. “Andrew did 90% of the work. I just had to hold it down.”

Andrew lets the compliment slip past him like the stream of a current. He’s more focused on Neil’s unusual silence, like the dam trapping that current.

“You missed the dirtiest pass Kevin’s ever done,” Nicky says, sitting cross-legged on the table and leaning in eagerly. “Kevin “Risk Scares the Fuck Out of Me” Day—“

“You guys trying to confuse him with all this noise?” Wymack says from the doorway, arms crossed.

Neil says something in pristine french, and Kevin rolls his eyes. “He’s not confused, apparently.”

“I’m not,” Neil reiterates in English. “And I don’t need a translator.”

“This isn’t any kind of condition I’ve ever read about,” Aaron says. “Are you sure you’re not making things up again?”

Bitterness floods Andrew’s mouth. Accusing people of faking is never going to stop being an act of violence, to him. “He’s not creative enough for that,” he tells Aaron, as detached as he can stomach.

“Christ, way to tag-team him,” Matt says, visibly upset. “You guys can’t even lay off after a traumatic head injury?”

“I dunno,” Allison says. “Tag-teaming. Twins. He could do worse.”

“Allison,” Neil warns.

“What, is wordplay too much for your bruised brain to understand?”

“That’s enough,” Wymack orders. “We’re done here. Wash up, pack up. Harass your strikers again tomorrow.”

The brittle mood in the room shatters, and the foxes march past Neil to the change rooms. A couple of them squeeze his shoulder or touch his face on their way past.

“And Neil,” Wymack says, pausing on his way to his office. “Ice that head. We need you.”

Neil nods, and Coach taps on the doorway, a final awkward gesture before he goes.

Neil catches Andrew’s eye again in the newly empty room, and he smirks. “You need me.”

Andrew doesn’t respond, and Neil’s eyes widen. He scoots forward in his chair so that he’s in Andrew’s space, smelling overwhelmingly of soap and sweat. “Hey. I actually did need you, today,” Neil says in quiet Russian, and Andrew doesn’t look at him. Can’t.

“You lost your English again.”

“No,” Neil says, eyes low, mouth parting. “That was for you.”

#I obviously don't know french im sorry about it #aftg #the foxhole court #andreil #tfc fanfic #prompt #mine #injury tw #Anonymous #ask

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