#they are everything to me. not doing anything rn just spinning around my brain!

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[tiyoin]

Tiyoin the voices got to me again. I was scrolling tho tik tok and came across a video ,and it reminded me that you mentioned reader doing a sport before attending twst in the singing au. Wanna give a guess what sport I saw??

It was ✨figure skating✨. Just imagine it for a sec. Do I know anything about skating?? No. But the idea of anxiety reader being one is beautiful. Especially since skating isnt a confrontation sports like soccer and, reader doesn't have to be in contact with someone while performing their act.

I see reader starting the sport when they were young. They may have seen it as a way to put themselves out there while doing something they enjoy and find relaxing. They didn't compete in big contests with thousands of people watching (girlie would not make it). They would only get to county or district level of the contest B4 the nerves got to them. Most likely self sabotages at the end so they wouldn't have to seen and judged by so many. Reader does has a few gold medals tho. Yuu has been their personal cheerleader for a few years now. Going to as many contests as he can to just support reader and know they're not alone.

✨Now✨

What if there is a different competition (w/o a overblot hopefully) which a sport is picked randomly. Whether you want it to be a school vs school, dorm vs dorm or maybe grade vs grade you can decide. I think it could work with any of them. Like they pick a few people to represent their side and to complete. The ones that physically compete get prizes (💰) and the others get bragging rights and a 🍕 pizza party or smth like that idk.

Anyways, Yuu is like *puppy eyes* pls reader 👉👈we poor. And reader knows Yuu is only asking cuz they they really need the money and he would never make them do smth that would harm them. Yuus real motive is maybe this will help reader make friends or less be less anxious around their classmates. And he knows Reader is gonna win cuz none of the others skate.

The only ones in NRC that I can see being able to skate to a degree is Rook, Jade or Ortho maybe Epel too. He probably hated it till his grandma said only strong people could skate cuz it's hard. I think his home town is gets snow right? Can't recall rn.

Depending on which VS is picked the outfit and preforment is gonna be a easy choice or the hardest thing in the whole contest. Maybe a duet gets thrown in there. ➖👄👁️

Overall reader is ✨stressed✨ rightfully so. The creeps are recording, admirers admirering, rivals showing up left and right. Reader gonna need a nap after everything that's happened.

Another 3-5 am ask woooo. Sorry if there is any spelling errors. Why do the best ideas always come when I'm tired 😩. I can send u a tik tok I saw that inspired me if u want. Also I don't mean to mention Rook in every ask he just shows up w/o asking. Like my fav is Malleus and I haven't send a single idea with him.

Maybe it's cuz Rooks a Sagittarius and I'm a Gemini. They are sister signs. That's probably why he lives in my head rent free. I hope a good night.

MEL- I NEED TO KISS YOU BRAIN RIGHT NOW!!

especially with the death of YOI: adolescence... a sad day for anime lovers' everywhere (im on desktop so i can't do any emojis </3)

I actually had a really big skating phase. still do and would love to have prof. lessons. i wanted to do it so. badly. my parents said 'no' and that it was too late for me, so i mourn that. believe it or not, i was in soccer and almost did it in college.

but the ice feeling so freeing whenever reader steps onto it. they're not worried about sweating because of ice, and they can move how the want when they want.

reader would 100 PERCENT self sabotage themselves. filling their head with nonsense and because of all those thoughts (especially) 'dont miss this spin, dont miss this spin' only to miss it because they were focusing on whether they would 'miss the spin or not')

but in their home world, reader is phenomenal!! they're amazing! they got scouted by amazing coaches who wanted to tap into their raw potential, who were impressed by reader's hard work and drive... but reader always finds a away to miss things up for themselves.

OH MY GOD AHHH SPORTING COMPETETIONS WERE ALWAYS MY FAVORITE ARCS IN SHOWS

ITS LIKE THEIR OWN MINI OLYMPICS HAHAHA (reader: wdym you guys dont have olympics?)

ofc there's a pre sign up and auditions. reader is thinking and mulling it over. because trying out for the boys team is very different than the girl's team, is co-ed even allowed?? this is an all boys school after all!

(yuu brings crowley to their audition to convince him to give them student-ship so they can compete and WRECK those snot-nosed princes.)

maybe there's a partner skate? and you know that the admirers of reader that can skate and sign. the. fuck. up.

I WANT SKATER JADE!! I WANT IT I WANT IT I WANT IT!! but home boy would probably not be able to skate at the level of reader just because he's og a fish and if he started skating when he turned human then he'd only have a year of experience </3

but lets just say there's a sports thing they have... not club but dedicated for this event... then i can see jade being somewhat on reader's level. but there's still a difference unfortunately

ROOK HUNT SKATED OUT OF THE WOMB!! ortho could professionally skate sine... 5 minutes ago? like c'mon guys get on his level.

though i can see rook rather being an observer. he also called it 'ice dancing' because that's what it is to him. but if rook trying out for this instead of his usual sweep of archery, all to stop some... he doesn't have a word for the level of disgust he'd have if he saw you dancing with a slimy no name.

plus he will be able to experience your growth! not just as a skater but as a person! he can also get closer to you!

vil. vil can! ice dance. he needed to learn it for a film and he's always liked the feeling of being on the ice. which makes pomefiore the contenders for being on the team / being reader's partner during partner categories.

epel would want ot learn hockey but was forced into ice skating by his grandma HAHAH she'd say that he can learn to play hockey after he's mastered the ice or something. it's something he's NOT proud of- but (if this is the point where him and reader are on good terms) then he'll happily play up him being a skating pro.

i can also see vil forcing epel into skating for the school. like wdym ice skating is for girls? get your ass on the ice NOW

SILVER AND LILIA WOULD ALSO BE ICE SKATERS AHHH. but it's a bit dangerous for silver to be on the ice but if it means helping support his friend then he's gung ho about it! just... please keep an eye on him in case he starts falling (he's usually good about that. making it to the sides before he was able to face plant on the ice. but lilia is always present in case of such emergencies (and if the designated watchers arent able to get to him in time))

lilia has dabbled in a bit of everything. so if you see him whip out a quad (with only a little bit of stumbling, as he complains about his bones again) he'll act like it's not hard (it's not- for him)

BUT IF MALLEUS WANTS TO GET INTO THAT ICE SKATING ACTION THEN HE'LL SPEND HOURS AT IT. the prince bale to do things a bit differently than everyone since he's.. ya knw, thee malleus draconia.

crowley ; you can barly even skate! why are you at the try outs!

malleus :... give me a week (and the mofo MEANS IT)

and dw i get random spouts of 'rook hunter-itis too. I DONT MIND YOU BRINGING HIM UP CAUSE I LOVE HIM- AND MALLEUS AHHHH)

[gojo-mochi]

You should do Ace and Law for the I'm hungry fic 🔥🔥🔥

Content Warning: Suggestive, Fem!Reader, I made Ace a bit subby OTL It my first time writing him.

Pairings: Ace x Reader and Law x Reader

Word Count: 1108

A/N: Sorry it took so long! Omgoshh Hope you like it Meg!! Thank you for the request!

Law:

You strut into his office like you own the place. Hips swaying in what you thought was a seductive way. Unfortunately for you, your boyfriend did not spare you a single glance other than the raised eyebrow he gave you when you first walked in. His gaze focused on the stack of papers and books sitting neatly in order on his desk. You made your own in front of his desk, having a one sided staring contest with Law, as Law was having his staring contest with the paper in his hand. He wasn’t even reading the damn paper! His eyes were solely focused on one spot on the paper, like he was burning a hole in it, when in reality he was just trying really hard not to make eye contact with you.

He did love you, he did!

He just knew your antics by now and did not want to deal with them. "Law….dear…" You drawl out slowly. Law’s eyebrow twitched slightly. "Yes, my love?" he sighs out after a few moments of silence. You smile widely, finally getting the attention you deserve. You lean over on his desk, making sure that your low-cut tee is pulled down enough so that your boyfriend can see everything. You slammed one hand down on the messy stacks of paper, while the other grabbed on to his collar, pulling him close.

"You know it's really late at night, and you've been working in the office all day.." Law's face twitches at that; he knows he has been too focused on his work lately and neglecting you. Before he could say anything or apologize, you leaned back from the desk and walked around the side. Once you reach Law, you spin his chair around to face you, settling your hand on his shoulder, then slowly trailing downward as you say.

"I was getting awfully hungry while you were gone... You know that my own fingers can’t satisfy me anymore." Your fingers danced along his torso, the waistband of his pants, before finally settling down on both of his thighs, squeezing them lightly. Causing Law to choke a bit on his spit. You squeezed on his thighs a bit harder, leaning forward to see Law’s blushing face, but before you could get any closer for a kiss, you saw Law’s lips first move before you heard "Room."

And now you were the one being pinned back against the chair with Law’s thigh in between yours, pressing against your core, while your wrists were being pinned down to the arm rests. You let out a squeak, trying to pull yourself out of Law’s iron grip on you, but he just chuckles and leans in closer, the scent of his cologne entering your nose as he breathes out. "I’m just giving my girl what she asked for, so lean back and take it."

(A/N: No brain power rn but if this get requested more I make might the actual smut part next)

Ace:

You don’t know why you were even surprised; Ace was pulling you by the arm straight to bother Thatch. A bit earlier, you woke him up from a nap in his room by straddling his lap and groping his toned thighs. You whispered to Ace’s groggy form that you were "Hungry.." and that was all Ace seemed to understand as his stomach immediately rumbled and he shot up, almost knocking you off the bed, but he managed to grab you by the waist before you could.

"Sorry Y/N! Haha, my stomach works faster than my brain, it seems!" He smiles brightly at you, making your heart flutter even though you were slightly annoyed that your plan was ruined once again by Ace’s never ending hunger. So now you're here, bothering Thatch to make more food. Well, Ace was the only one yelling, you were just there silently giving apologies to Thatch for bothering him so late again. Once Thatch had enough of Ace and kicked him out with you trailing behind, you had to console your boyfriend, softly rubbing his shoulders as his head hung down.

"It’s alright, baby, we can steal some of Marco’s snack stash, okay?" You cooed, gently smoothing your thumb over Ace’s shoulder blades. "But! That won’t be enough for the both of us! And Marco is getting better at hiding his stash too." Ace grumbled, crossing his arms on top of his knees and burying his head down. You get down to his level and press soft kisses to the top of his head and then to his weak spot on the back of his neck as you wrap your arms loosely around his form. You can feel Ace shiver a bit from your lips being pressed against his warm skin.

You trail your kisses back up his nape, slowly making each kiss wetter than the last, all the way up to the lobe of his ear, which you take between your teeth. Ace whined out loudly in a different tone than before, and the sound echoed a bit in the hallway you were both still in. "Bab-Babe! What are you doing?" His whole body was turning a bit red, and you could see a tent pitching in his favorite shorts that he always wears, even to sleep. You let go of his ear and purr into his ear, "Sorry~ I just can’t seem to help myself... just getting so hungry~" Your hands roamed around his body and onto his thigh, just beside the area he wanted you to touch the most.

Ace parts his thigh out, whimpering and panting, giving you a confused look as he tilts his head back to meet your eyes. "Wai-wait, Thatch already kicked us out.. Hahhh.. And I know Marco's not going to share an-any-ahh-mmffhh…" Ace bites his hands to muffle the needy sounds coming out. You decide to give him some release or just perhaps tease him some more by palming on his length. Ace bit down hard on his hand, almost causing it bleed as he cried out some more moans. Oh, baby, I wasn’t hungry for that kind of snack, I wanted something more filling." You made sure to press down hard at the last word.

Then, without any warning, you unwrapped yourself from Ace and started walking away. Ace was left stunned on the ground for a few moments until you motioned for him to come with a wave of your hand, and he instantly stood up and ran after you like a puppy, almost smacking straight into your back. The two of you head back to Ace’s room for a night of fun…

[shanardo13]

Obikin College au - RA/Don! Obi-Wan/First Year! Anakin - Part Two

Okay guys, I already thought of more because I’m unhinged and insane and this has been on my brain all day 👹

Link to Part One

Link to Part Three

Whenever they party together, Anakin makes Obi-Wan go shot for shot with him. He wants to get him drunk because Obi-Wan is an affectionate cuddly drunk and Anakin wants those cuddles.

“Have I ever told you how good of a friend you are Anakin? I’m glad you spent your Friday’s bullying me in the lobby” Obi-Wan murmurs, arms around Anakin, nuzzling into his neck.

Anakin, playing with his hair. “Me too, Obi-Wan. Me too”

They all play drinking games together.

Never have I ever:

“Never have I ever done anything sexual in a public place.” Padmé offers and Obi-Wan takes a shot.

“OBI, YOU DOG!!!” Anakin shrieks. I’m not thinking about it, I’m not thinking about it.

“Never have I ever had a crush on somebody in the room.” Ahsoka glares challengingly at Anakin.

Anakin turns to the side and quickly does a shot. Thankfully Obi-Wan isn’t paying attention.

Truth or Dare:

“Anakin, Truth or Dare?”

“Truth.”

“What’s your ideal partner?” Curse his blasted friends, they knew what they were doing.

He basically describes Obi-Wan. Still oblivious, Obi-Wan doesn’t catch on.

“They sound like a dream!” Obi-Wan giggles and raises his cup as a toast.

“Oh, they are.” Anakin stares at him.

“Truth or Dare, Obi-Wan?”

“Dare.”

“Give the most attractive person in the room a kiss on the cheek.” 

No hesitation, Obi-Wan plants a sloppy and drunken kiss to Anakin’s cheek.

Anakin flushes a deep red. I’m okay. I’m not screaming. Everything is normal. Nothing to see here. Don’t even worry. I’m not sweating. Are you sweating? 

Spin the bottle:

Rex spins the bottle and it lands on Obi-Wan. Traitor! Traitor! Don’t even think about it!! Anakin’s mind screams.

But it’s part of the game, and so the two crawl forward to the centre of the circle and share a quick peck.

Anakin sits, pouting and glaring at Rex with his arms crossed over his chest. When the two pull away, Anakin makes eye contact with Rex and drags his index finger over his throat to mimic a beheading.

Padmé, watching Anakin nervously. “Okay, how about we play a different game?”

These events usually take place in Anakin’s room. Afterwards, Obi-Wan usually spends the night. The first time it happened, everyone had fallen asleep in his room, scattered in various positions on the floor while Obi-Wan and Anakin cozied up together on the bed.

After this, Anakin had a chat with his friends.

“Okay guys, next time we hang out, you have to leave at the end.”

“Why? You want to be alone with lover boy?” 

“As a matter of fact, yes.”

So this becomes the norm. One by one, his friends filter out after their hangouts, leaving Obi-Wan and Anakin alone.

“I can leave too, y’know?”

“No! It’s okay! I don’t mind if you stay!” For the love of God, please don’t go, I want desperately for you to do the spooning thing, I need it, please.

“Okay.”

More texts are shared:

Anakin: what r u doing?

Obi-Wan: just finishing a class hbu?

Anakin: oooh fun, learn anything good?

Anakin: I’m just studying in the library rn.

He doesn’t get a text back right away and it puts him on edge - it makes him worry Obi-Wan is upset with him.

But no less than ten minutes later, Obi-Wan shows up at the library with a coffee just how Anakin likes it and a strawberry danish - his favourite. Anakin is amazed, seeing as he only mentioned this once in a passing conversation. 

His group of friends often spend afternoons together, getting lunch after classes. Obi-Wan is invited and makes it when he can, but his schedule usually doesn’t align.

“When are you going to say something to him?”

“I don’t know guys, he doesn’t even like me. I’d rather keep going the way things are than face rejection. Ignorance is bliss and all that.” 

They all stare at him dumbfounded.

“What??”

“Anakin, anyone with eyes can see that he likes you.” 

“No he doesn’t! Stop!”

Okay, this is my update for now!! Again, I will update later! 

Lemme know if you have any thoughts! Thank you for reading

[mybedroomceilingsbored]

1 4 5 10 16 17 21 26 43 46 yeah that’s right. I intend to know everything about you. One day I will know you so intimately every sight I see will remind me of you (non-threatening. Idk if it shows through but I mean this kindly not creepily)

haha thanks!!! and not creepy at all :) that's so sweet!

at this point there's sooo many things- anything winter soldier/captain america related, quite a few hozier songs, anything tintin-related, SO much other stuff. the other day one of the kids i TA for put a bluey sticker on her water bottle, and my brain immediately went to your ear defenders with all the stickers.

1 (freckes?) yes!! all over my cheeks/nose, and a few all over the rest of my face/body. they're not super visible in the winter, but rn they're poppin :)

4 (sleeping position) usually on either my back or side, but i tend to roll around a bit

5 (stuffies) yup! i have a stuffed yeti named Slush.

10 (height) 5'2 lmao, my whole family (except my brother and grandpa) is pretty short

16 (tattoos you want) this is kinda tricky since i'm a dancer and since my (very conservative) family would skin me alive, but i'd really like a frog and toad tattoo somewhere and a tiny star on my right index finger-long story there.

17 (piercings you want) i've got two in each ear, but i'd like an industrial in my right ear, a helix and conch in my left, and a septum piercing! tragus piercings are also super cool, but i've got pretty small ears and don't know how much i can feasibly fit lol

21 (how was your day?) pretty good, thanks! it's been really calm, i spent a lot of time outside and i got to facetime with my cousin. one of my brothers just got braces, so i took him out for the afternoon and got him a milkshake :D

26 (childish things i like) there's a lot tbh :) for a few:

-i swing a LOT, i'll spend hours a day outside on our rickety old swingset. something about the movement calms me down SO much better than anything else (same with pacing/bouncing/spinning and stuff; my family used to give me a fair amount of shit about it all, but they've since calmed down)

-there are still a bunch of picture books i love. fun fact: when i was really little (like 4/5) my parents read me a book called "fairy wings" so many times that i started teaching myself to read from it! i started "reading" it to myself one day, turned out i'd taught myself a bunch of sight words. i still have the book and i still read it!

-apple juice. who cares if it's a "kid thing", i love it

-the 2007 strawberry shortcake cartoons, they're so sweet

-sometimes i'll put my hair up in braided pigtails, the same way my great-grandma used to do mine. i generally look about 5+ years younger, but it's kinda comforting

43 (any siblings?) i have two younger brothers! one's 14 and one's 11. we're at each other's throats quite a bit of the time, but they can honestly be pretty sweet :)

46 (what do you need when you're sad) usually to be touched/held/hugged, honestly. generally that ends up amounting to wrapping myself up in a ton of blankets and listening to cavetown-his music kinda sounds like being held to me :)

i ended up rambling a TON, sorry! thanks for all the questions, these are so much fun

[6lost6but6trying]

April 7 1:53am

Im here sitting in front of my tv after a gaming session with my best friend…

Wishing u were playing with us

I miss ur voice

I miss u giving us heads up and knowing where they are

I don’t know how you know but you do in detail which amazes me

If sitting here in front of my tv about to cry myself to sleep

Because I feel like I got nothing figured out

My relationship I have is feeling like it’s turning bad

But besides that I just feel useless

Like I’m not anywhere I wanna be yet

No goal

Nothing

Just here

Alive

When I don’t wanna be

I wanna cry myself to sleep

But I don’t wanna cry myself to sleep…

I don’t know

Im just really tired

Im overthinking so many stuff and as I hear my thought telling me I’m useless and i will never reach whatever goal I may have or a better future

I found myself just remembering the time I laid with u with my head on ur shoulder so close to your chest telling u that I’m nowhere financially stable and feel useless and I shut me up as u play with my hand that I had up and gently point to the middle of my palm tapping it gently telling me “ you will catch up to her financially, u will have money, you’re not useless, you’re somebody, you will make it, I believe in you”

Your words still run through my dull brain and it’s making me miss u more

I know if this ends,

You May or may not take me back in as a friend and I’ll respect either choice…

I just know I probably won’t be over you even tho I haven’t seen u in a while…

Haven’t heard that voice in a while…

I found myself the other day hearing ur voice saying “ look you little shit” and I smiled…

I was at work and he asked me why I was smiling and I just told him I remembered something funny that’s all

It’s not something funny

It’s something I like u calling me

I find it cute I don’t know why…

Im still so sorry all this happened this way

I just feel like I’m now being pushed against a corner of a wall and I want to be killed….

Don’t get mad at me

I thought about it again but then remembered that I promised you I wouldn’t do it…

I didn’t

But I did hurt my leg physically

It may be bruised in the morning, I have no idea but I got some sort of high which made me take deep breath and wanted to keep doing it til my thigh purple…

I stopped…

But please don’t get mad…

I turned to alcohol

I drank a little bottle I had then I created a ice tea drink and put the last bit of alcohol mix into my drink

I was feeling a buzz as I played my game

I told him I didn’t wanna video and just play

I didn’t want my best friend knowing I wasn’t ok

I did squats and spins in my room to feel a buzz and it somehow worked…

Im not ok.

Just glad there wasn’t anymore alcohol

All I want rn if to have things calm…

I just still catch myself missing you when I shouldn’t be

Im with her, I do love her but what does it say when I do love her and don’t wanna lose her but the more we fight the more im craving YOU …. You’re so close to me that I can walk to you…. C

I can drive 3 min just to see you…

With her it’s 10 mins by car…

That’s more than a 40 min walk….

I asked god so Many years ago when I came out to give me a gf so close to me….

He gave me you two…

At the same time…

I met you both in July 2022

Im so mad at god for doing this…

Im not even religious anymore but a part of me is still kinda religious….

I begged him for a person close to me and gave me you both…

Obviously you’ve always been the first choice….

I just choose her

And you already know why…

But then I question if I made the right choice or if I should’ve stayed friends with u and see where that could’ve gone before I did anything with her and kept her as a friend…

It’s all stupid and I wish I had a manual but that’s impossible….

When I find myself depressed I still think of me laying with u and I feel safe…

I know if I got to know u way more…

I could’ve loved you

Yes I was “ in love” but like as in “crushing hard on you” where my tummy gave me butterflies everything im around u….

I just wanna be in your arms again….

I even miss your natural scent I don’t know what it is but it’s YOU

You see right through me when I’m hugging you and I miss you not letting go til I do…

This sucks… I’m sorry

I hope I do see you again…. And everything isn’t so hectic …

[snowangeldotmp3]

hey! i'm sorry to hear you're having a bad day, so here are some distractions!

favorite painting? when and where you first saw it and why you like it/why it's important to you

what genre of music do you like? favorite musical artist and/or fav song?

i'm just about to leave to work at a girl scout cookie booth lol, so fav girl scout cookie/ cookie in general?

what stranger things character are you most and least like and why

what is the weirdest/most irrational superstition you have or you've heard of?

i hope you feel better soon!

WOAH thank you for these!! it means a lot <3

1.) fave painting…this is gonna be off the wall but it’s the only one i can think of rn, and it’s Ellen Terry as Lady Macbeth! macbeth is one of my favorite plays of all time (medea and waiting for godot a close second) so that painting is just really cool for me!! also fun fact, if you’ve seen the movie Brave (2012), the painting is the inspiration for queen elinor’s look!!

2.) this is gonna be one of those cliche answers but i really do listen to a little of everything EXCEPT edm idk what it is but it gives me a headache 😭 but my favorite genre is rock/classic rock! (spotify will lie to you and say it’s showtunes. which i do listen to a lot BUT ITS NOT MY FAVORITE…) my favorite song usually changes here and there but right now it’s Crazy on You by Heart!! something abt the guitar just scratches my brain right…

3.) OMFG GIRL SCOUTS!!! i was a girl scout for almost 7 years i remember it well. good luck with cookie sales! but my favorite cookies are the savannah smiles. they don’t make them anymore (rip) and they were the only cookie i liked 😭 they replaced them with the lemonades i think? but they just aren’t as good </3 beyond girl scouts, i loveeeee snickerdoodles. they’re ADDICTIVE

4.) most like: robin. on the premise of 1.) we’re both lesbians 2.) i think i relate to robin bc the whole small town + gay thing + our personalities are incredibly similar. the reason her coming out scene is so important to me is because it just Hit Home for me in a lot of ways.

least like: probably dustin? but only because i am Not good at science. like i understand some things but the whole party are a bunch of little geniuses

5.) hmmm im not really superstitious, but i do abide by the “don’t say the M word in a theatre” and if you know anything about that superstition (it varies from theatre to theatre) you have to like. go outside, spin around 3 times, SPIT, then shout a curse word of ur choice lmao, and THEN come back in to apologize to everyone. it’s wild. other than that i’m not really superstitious tbh! but that’s definitely the wildest one i’ve heard of.

thank you so much! these have really helped my brain calm down and focus on other things instead of the Thing that it was originally spiraling about, so thank you!

[dsk0fx]

My thoughts feel very all over the place and our of control right now I have too much in mt.head and it is confusing I feel angry at so many insignificant things. My head is spinning. I've never been this fucking dysphoric before I feel so shit in and about myself I'm an absolute fucking wreck I've put on so much weight I feel so awful about mysekr even though I know I am healthier now I can't look at myself in a mirror inhate my apperance I hate my hair I hate the fact I feel like I don't have a personality or any sense of self I don't know what I like or how I want to look or dress and I hate it my dysphoria is killing me I'm constantly paranoid about my period starting again I cannot be calm I need to change something about myself binding is killing me it hurts so bad ans icant regulate my temperature and I feel like my T isn't doing jack shit the gender clinic are being fuckin useless I need top surgery ans hysto I feel so out of control of everything I hate it so much I need my chest to be flat I need to pass I need my hair to be good I need to be clean I need to be clean I am not clean I need to be clean I am not taking care of myself at all ans like.i am getting so angry irrationally and protective over how Jakes been treated bad in the past it makes me irate I want to hurt anyone that has ever made him feel any bad feeling I feel so possessive n protective over him lately he is mine and only mine and the fact it's not always been that way is infuriating to me rn. Idk if it's bc he's been sick n I've gone into over protective mode or what but idk. I feel so out of control I duxking hate this I think I need to go back on my meds but I'm not sure. I don't even know who I am anymore any sense of identity is slipping away from me because I try to shove myself into boxes but I don't fit into one certain subculture n it's killing me even tho I know it's literally no big deal but I feel like if I don't I'll get judged and have to be a certain way so I feel like I have no personality of my own and don't know what ahy of my own interests of likes are because I just moulf to people around me and I need to stop smoking but I can't but im almost out of baccy

but it's the only thing making my head shut up and feel calm right now and I literally feel.like I cannot function I am so overwhelmed by everything right now I hate it so much I feel like.im.never seeing Jake right now eieher because he's at work so much and burnt out and I miss him I miss him I don't feel good at all I feel like I am going insane and I want it to stop I've been having really bad sh urges and I've been able to not so far but I'm scared but I've been drinking again and I'm trying to stop because I don't want to get dependent on drigs or alcohol again but addiction is wireed into me because of how severe my fucking ADHD is I can't help it and I need to not but my gp won't give me any of my meds and adult services arnwt willing to help or do shit until I'm 25 bx of my auriam and I dont know what's going on with the gender clinic or Mt t ans I'm so stressed everything feels too much right now my head won't stop it won't be quiet I hate it I cand motivate myself to do anything I'm a failure and a let down and not good at anything and don't even know why I am still here I cabr work im so mentally fucked in the head I can't even get a job I am useless and worthless and my.life feels hoplwss like I'm never going to do ajytbing with it I hate my head I hate my brain I hate myself I have every single little thing about myself I do not feel like a person I feel so far dissociated and depersonalized and derealizeed I feel like a feral animal trapped in a cage scratching and clawinh trying to escape until my skin is raw and I am bleeding I want to rip mt.skin off I donf feel human I am not okay please somebody bwlp me I don't want to wakw Jake up I don't feel okay I don't feel okay I don't feel okay I hate this I just want it to stop I just want to feel okay I want to feel like an actual human being and not an angry terrified animal

[binch-i-might-be]

rotating them

[jin0]

(p*rn link)

i saw this and immediately thought stiles stilinski

just ignore if i offended you, sorry x

babe. the last thing i am is offended honestly 🙈 this was an absolute trip and i am grateful that you sent it to me <3

but think about wearing lingerie in front of fwb!stiles and he just loses it ?? like he just takes a good fifteen minutes to admire you, asking (begging) for you to spin around ?? like he doesn't even notice his own boner before he's jumping you to lay you on the bed.

he'd been extremely busy and stressed lately and you wanted to do something nice out of the blue to help him relax a little bit yk ?? you didn't want to be too pushy by telling him that you were worried but clearly he needed it more than anything.

he takes off everything you have on you but your panties because they're just so simple yet pretty, they make him want to get them all dirty and covered in cum. he's keeping you on top of him, at all times to see you fully and you feel a little embarrassed when he has you sitting on his face but the way he shoves his tongue inside your dripping cunt just erases every thought out of your brain.

hus eyes never leave your panties, watching them get all soaked in both of you and hus brain does process that he's already fucked so much cum into you, you can't take more yk ?? but he cannot stop getting you all dirty and full. he doesn't try but it's not like he can control how much cum he produces in these moments and it's even more difficult when you're basically the dreamiest thing ever to him.

he's rutting inside you, pushing his girth in between your folds and just staring at his cum dripping out of you and on the soft fabric of your panties ??

"bunny... bunny, fuck... bunny i gotta keep these. i'll carry them everywhere with me bunny..."

"g-god... stiles, y- fuck ! oh, god, please ! stiles you're cumming too much... please, s-slow... slow down !"

"can't bunny, i know your pretty pussy can take it, look, look at her taking everything i give her... fuck, did i starve my bunny ? she wanted cum so bad she had to get see through panties to get my attention. look at your pussy bunny, she's so hungry, i can't slow down now, can i ? needa feed my favorite girl. needa keep her full and if you can't keep it in, it's fine." he leans on you to whisper in your ear, "you'll keep your panties on m, covered in my cum and in yours. no taking them off before i tell you to bun-bun."

you're being fucked so nicely you can only nod when he's caressing your head and kissing your neck so tenderly.

he has you wear them in class (mitch is your professor and let's just say that he can see everything that's going on ;)) and he sits next to you to finger his cum back into you. at the end of the lecture, he takes them and skips to his jeep with a smile after breathing in the scent coming from them.

"i'll be gone for only three days bunny, but I'll have these to keep me company. and you bet you'll get loads of videos of how nice they look wrapped around my cock."

[cat3ch1sm]

Hey! If requests are open, can I please get some headcannons for L with reader kinda having a sibling dynamic with him? Like they’ve know each other for ever and have a brother/sibling thing going on? Thank you!

🐢| what an interesting request! thanks a lot, and im happy to do it! requests r always open unless i say otherwise <33

🌲| for more info on what i write and request rules click here !

💚| happy reading, i hope u love these!

· you and ryuzaki have been friends since wammy's house- even though he literally never addressed you as a friend until you referred to him as your own friend. ryuzaki found himself drawn to your unique charisma and your exceptionally strong thinking and reasoning skills. you were also a quite energetic person (although not necessarily outgoing and definitely not airheaded) and ryuzaki secretly enjoys having someone like you to counter his perpetually blank demeanor.

· after you both left wammy's house and saw less and less of each other, what with ryuzaki hiding beneath the name l and you taking on pretty much whatever task came up, you guys still kept in contact- and it wasn't anything awkward like most people would assume of l. because you two are far more intelligent than most, you often found yourselves in environments filled with people nowhere near as smart as you both- which led to some serious understimulation. so the only resort is to talk to one another via text messages, on burner phones obviously. your texts are very chaotic- mostly consists of you and him going back and forth like:

y/n: holy shit the people here are idiots

ryuzaki: I wouldn't put it so crudely, but I find myself lacking mental stimulation as well- as usual.

y/n: when will you be back in town??????

ryuzaki: Soon. I'll return once I've solved this case- I'm very close. It shouldn't be long.

y/n: please hurry please come save me

ryuzaki: You're very melodramatic. I'm sure you'll be alright for a little while longer.

y/n: shut up im dying here okay come back rn

ryuzaki: Not until my work is done. And you're only proving my point.

·yeah so

· when you are together, you work very well with one another- for the most part.

· probably you're spinning ryuzaki around in his chair like crazy while he struggles to not choke on the candies he definitely has stuffed in his mouth

· he looks like a chipmunk

· you also try and imitate the way l sits very often for whatever reason. he'll literally just blink at you for a few seconds and then make another move to see if you'll mimic that, too. it's like he's a little kid around you

· you definitely have to fight l to get him to go to bed. and take a shower in his little human washing machine thing. and to actually eat nutritious food. and to do anything else that actual humans do.

· if you miraculously manage to get L into bed, 99 percent of the time he'll just slip right back out. he will just keep this up like a petulant child until you give up

· you and l are always doing stupid stuff when you're not doing serious stuff. it's definitely you who always intiates it and I constantly trying to get you to cut it out. in the end, he'll probably give in to you though😭

· outside of professional situations, you two pester watari a lot just for shits and giggles. he literally just stands there like 😑

· watari sometimes lets you guys come into the kitchen with him where he makes I's treats. he will even let you guys try and make some yourselves- but being socially reclusive sociopathic introverts, that pretty much never goes well. everything in sight is covered in chocolate, cream, icing, caramel, ice cream- you name it, it's all over the walls and your clothes like a couple of toddlers.

· one thing you have in common is ego. you two have absolutely teamed up during investigations just to act all smart and big-brained, throwing around big words and stuff, just to subtly make your colleagues feel inferior to you. power trippers😭

· bad renditions of shakespeare all night

· tennis and sparring matches whenever you guys get free time, you always both beat the crap out of each other and there's almost never a clear winner for either activity

· yes, you do get to act as "L" at times- but at other times, l has to wrestle you from his computer because you keep wanting to impersonate him solely for the feeling of authority💀

· you watch over his shoulder while I plays that "u are offline" game with the dinosaur

· l simply refuses to stand up straight. you've used force. he just won't move?????

· unlike sports, you hate board games with him because he wins 24/7

[1-800-gaygentsofshield]

you + me = ? | n.r.

summary: after the war you and Natasha settle down, deciding to start a family in your cozy little home. The problem is though, how many times can hope be ignited before it fully burns out?

warnings: (trying to get pregnant) reader, canon/sterile Nat, swearing, Nat and you cry, post-endgame, sprinkle of angst with a very fluffy ending

word count: 4,016

im having baby fever rn im so sorry

-flashback, pre-endgame-

"I wanna have a family." Your voice is barely above a whisper as you both look up at the night sky, laying in the garden atop the Avengers compound. "What?" Nat asks softly, breaking out of her trance as she looks at you. You're laying on her chest and her arm is wrapped your back, Nat's other arm folded up behind her head.

"I wanna have a family, with you." You repeat yourself, making eye contact with your girlfriend as her brows furrow. "Y/n.." Nat's voice is hesitant and panic floods your chest, your eyes widening as you move to sit up. "Oh my god I'm so sorry, that was so quick-" You apologize quickly as you avoid Natasha's gaze, the redhead sitting up with you.

You've dated Natasha for two years but everything has been slow, knowing how the assassin will close herself off if you try and move too fast (emotion wise).

"Hey Y/n no." Nat says softly as she looks at your side profile, a soft frown forming on her face as she sees you. "That's not the reason why." She says as she gently turns your head to face her, fingertips delicately grabbing your chin. "I do want to have a family with you, moya lyubov'..it's just that I can't." Nat whispers and you finally lock eyes with her, seeing the pain and sadness on her face. "What do you mean?' You ask carefully and she sighs, waiting a beat before deciding to tell you. "In the Red Room me and all of my other group mates were sterilized..it was like a sick graduation ceremony that prevented us from having a family of our own." She tells you and hurt immediately grips at your heart, seeing Nat avert her gaze for a moment.

"Why?" You question and she purses her lips together, one of your hands rubbing her knee gently. "So we would never have any distraction from our mission..so that our only purpose in life was to kill and be used as a weapon." Disgust drips from Nat's voice at the last part, your soft hands on her wrist bringing her back to reality. "Im so sorry Nat, I shouldn't have anything I didn't know-" You start to apologize again but Nat stops you with a soft shake of her head, a bittersweet smile on her face. "Don't apologize, Y/n. I'm the one who should be sorry for not being able to give you the family that you deserve." She says and now it's your turn to shake your head, grabbing Nat's hands and caressing them gently. "Its alright baby." You smile gently before an idea pops into your head, your eyes lighting up and Nat gives you a look of curiosity.

"Besides.." You start, gently tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "If you really..truly..wanted a family with me, there could still be other options. Like adopting or getting a surrogate..or I could get pregnant instead." You suggest and Natasha's eyes light up like the stars in the night sky, a small laugh escaping your lips as you see the excitement on her face.

"Really?! You'd do that?" She asks and you nod your head, giving your girlfriend a soft kiss before laughing. "Mmhm, but you'd have to put a ring on it first, Miss Romanoff." You giggle and Nat wraps her arms around you again, both of you laying back down on the blanket. "Im planning to, future Mrs.Romanoff."

-present day, post-endgame-

You nervously pace around the bathroom as you wait for the three minutes to be up, Natasha sitting on the edge of the bathtub and observing you walk back and forth. The pregnancy test is laying by the sink and you can’t help but glance at it every few seconds, not having felt this nervous since battling Thanos and his army. You’ve faced gods, powerful Titans, super soldiers, but you’re sure this the most nerve wracking thing you’ve ever had to do. Once the timer on Natasha’s phone goes off, you practically jump towards the sink, Natasha leaning forward a bit more on the bathtub. Picking up the white and pink pregnancy test, you nervously turn it over in your hands, eyes scanning the small window for the results.

Natasha doesn’t even have to ask for the results when she sees your shoulders slump and your face drop, quickly getting up from the bathtub to wrap you up in her arms. Hugging you from behind, she can see the negative test in your hands, gently kissing your cheek when you don’t say anything. “It’s okay baby, we can try again.” She says softly and you shake your head, slowly placing the test down and closing your eyes.

“Nat, what if somethings wrong with me?” You whisper and her arms hug you closer, tears pooling under your eyelids in frustration. “Nothing is wrong with you malysh.” Natasha reassures you and you turn in her arms, releasing a shaky breath as you press your face into her neck. “Three times Nat..three fucking times..” You sigh and she only holds you closer, knowing how much hope the both of you had for this one. “I know, I know.” Nat hums softly as she rocks the two of you back and forth gently, feeling the hope starting to dwindle from you. “What if we just weren’t meant to have a biological children? What if we weren’t meant to have lives after the war?” You question out loud and Natasha pulls back, gently tilting your chin up so you can look her in the eyes. “Hey no, don’t say that. We were meant to have a family Y/n, biological or not.” Nat takes a pause to brush some hair out of your face.

“Let’s try one more time, okay? And if that doesn’t work then we can look into other options.” She continues and you think for a moment, not knowing if you could go through the hope and pain again. “Okay.” You whisper softly and Nat nods her head. “Okay.” She echos you before placing a gentle kiss on your forehead, pulling you back in for a hug.

————

Nat’s leg is bouncing up and down as she watches the timer tick down, only ten more seconds before you can check. This is the last try, all or nothing. You’re too anxious to pace this time, instead opting to sit next to Natasha and leaning into her as you watch her leg bounce. “You know..whatever happens, I love you.” Nat says softly when she sees you blankly stare at her knee, lost in thought about what’s going to happen. “I love you too.” You reply equally as soft as you look up at your wife, grabbing her hand and intertwining them slowly.

Leaning into each other, you both share a soft kiss, love shining through the small interaction. You both only pull away when the timer dings, Natasha rubbing your back as you sigh and get up. It feels like time slows down as you walk towards the sink, heart pounding in your chest as you reach out to grab the test. The bathroom is silent as you pick it up and flip it over, looking at the little window for the results. You’re silent as you look at the results, body frozen in place as you stare at the test. Natasha’s brows furrow and she gets up, sighing as she rubs her temples.

“Baby I’m so sorry-” “It’s positive.” You interrupt Nat midway through her sentence, your voice in disbelief as you see those two pink lines. “What?” Natasha asks, unsure if she heard you right. “It’s positive.” You repeat as you turn to face her, pregnancy test in hand as you smile from ear to ear. “You’re pregnant?” Natasha asks, almost in disbelief as she stares at you. “I’m pregnant.” You nod your head and Natasha immediately sweeps you up in her arms, hugging you right and picking you up from the ground. “Holy shit! We’re gonna have a baby!” Nat laughs as she spins you around, joyful giggles falling from your lips as you cling onto your wife.

“Oh my god we’re gonna have a baby.” Nat breathes out as she comes to a stop, quickly putting you down once the realization hits her brain. “Shit, you’re pregnant we need to be careful.” She says and you only laugh, pulling her down a bit to kiss her. “You don’t need to be that a careful dummy, but yes..I’m pregnant.”

————

“Tony gave us an iron man onesie.” You laugh as you hold up the tiny piece of clothing, Natasha grinning as she watches you. Even though the announcement was made a week ago, the gifts have been steadily pouring in, Tony insisting that he pays for the majority of the things that are needed for the new arrival.

He paid for the crib, the high chair, the car seat, most of the nursery, and all the bottles and toys a newborn could ask for. Pepper had a huge part in it too, having experience since bringing Morgan into the world. “That man is self centered.” Natasha laughs as she walks over to where you’re sitting, her heart full of love as she kneels down next to you.

“Mmhm.” You hum in agreement as you fold the article of clothing away, Natasha handing you the next gift. You’re about sixteen weeks along and you’re already showing, a small baby bump forming from your midsection. You both decided to wait until the second trimester to tell the rest of the team, wanting to enjoy the first few months in peace.

Natasha watches you wordlessly as you open a gift from Steve, a smile tugging on her lips as she sees the captain america pacifier. “I love you so much.” She blurts out randomly and your head turns to face her, a smile on your face as you gently kiss her.

“You’ve gone soft Romanoff.” You tease and she only laughs, gently kissing you again. “I blame you, you’ve made me domestic.” She grins and you roll your eyes, placing the gift to the side.

————

As the pregnancy goes along, you start to notice Natasha’s lack of touch, the redhead only going as far as running her hands through your hair or holding your shoulders. You have no idea what has gotten into her and you're determined to investigate, missing the way Natasha used to spoon and cuddle you all day.

Your questions were finally answered when one day you and Natasha were watching TV in bed, the redhead's arm slung around your shoulder as you lean into her. When the commercial break finally came on, you turned your head to look at your wife, curiosity written all over your face. "Why don't you cuddle me anymore, Nat?" You ask softly and she looks at you with confusion, lowering down the volume on the TV. "What do you mean? I cuddle you all the time baby." She says and you shake your head, reaching up and gently toying with her hair.

"Ever since I've gotten pregnant you've treated me like I could break at any moment, what are you so afraid of?" You question and Natasha sighs, glancing at her lap for a moment before answering. "With these hands I've done some awful things Y/n..things too horrific to say out loud. I feel like if I touch you or the baby I'll just ruin it, or hurt you..like everything else in my life." Nat confesses softly and your heart melts at how scared your wife is, knowing how much she's struggled with her past and with the red in her ledger. "Natasha Romanoff." You whisper, gently grabbing her hands to put them in between the two of you. "You are the kindest," You start, gently kissing her knuckle. "Most caring." another kiss, "Most selfless" another kiss, "Person I've ever met" another kiss. "And I know, with my whole heart and soul, you would never do anything to hurt me or the baby." You look up at her and gently rub your knuckles over the back of her hands. "So please stop acting like you will. These are the hands that I love, the hands that will raise our child, they're strong and secure, so stop thinking otherwise." You finish as you wordlessly move both your hands towards your belly, gently placing Natasha's hands over the bump.

The redhead is stunned as your hands rest over hers, the baby suddenly kicking. A wide smile spreads across your face as you both look down at your belly, the baby never having kicked before. "That was the first time they've ever kicked." You inform Natasha and you could see her still processing that fact. "That's our baby?" She asks softly and you laugh, nodding your head. "Mmhm, that's our baby. They recognized their mama." You say fondly as the baby kicks again, Natasha's heart bursting with warmth as she looks at you.

Slowly, Natasha moves to lay down on the bed, resting her head right beside your bump and holding it gently. "Hi malen'kiy golub'." She whispers softly, your hand coming down to gently play with her hair. You smile as you watch Natasha gently cuddle with your bump, knowing without a doubt that she's going to be a great mother.

-----

Placing the stuffed animals down on the table, you turn to look at Natasha, a giggle coming from your lips as you walk over to her. "What?" Nat grins as she turns to face you, putting the paintbrush down to the side.

"You're a mess." You laugh as you rub some pastel green paint from her cheek, both of you deciding that the nursery would be painted a light grey with a pastel green accent wall. "I'm still hot though." She teases and you only roll your eyes, cupping her face as you gently kiss her.

"Yeah yeah you're always hot." You laugh and Natasha looks around the room, grinning at the stack of Avenger's themed stuffed animals your team gave you. "They're all trying to be known as the cool uncle aren't they?" She asks softly and you nod your head, knowing that whatever Avenger your child takes after will forever have that bragging right.

"Let them have their fun, they're happy for us." You smile and Nat only sighs, shaking her head with a small smile on her face.

-----

You feel like Natasha was more anxious than you when you went into labour, your water breaking in the middle of the night. There wasn't any dramatic screaming or freaking out, you just calmly pushed the sheet back and let out a soft "huh" as you saw the damp bedsheets.

"Oh, okay we're doing this." You say before turning on the light, acting like it was any other day as you gently shake Natasha awake. "Nat, baby wake up." You whisper softly as Natasha stirs, squinting at the light once her eyes opened. "Y/n? What's wrong?" Nat mumbles sleepily as she rubs the sleep from her eyes, seeing you in a sitting up position.

"My water broke." You say and it takes a second for the words to process in Natasha's brain, the redhead suddenly sitting up and fully awake. "What? Okay okay it's happening. It's happening." Nat says as she pushes the sheets off herself, her mind immediately going to all the books she's read over the past nine months. You've already packed your hospital bags a few weeks in advance so you aren't too stressed about it, only needing to change and grab a few extra things. Natasha, on the other hand, is working on full overdrive, pulling on sweatpants and making sure everything is in order.

"Natasha, baby." You say as you gently grab her arm, needing your wife to slow down if you're going to survive the next few days. "You need to calm down my love." You say softly as you hold onto her shoulders, making the redhead look at you and take a few deep breaths. "Okay..okay. I'm sorry. I'm just nervous." Natasha admits and you nod your head, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"It's okay to be nervous Nat, you just need so slow down. We haven't even gotten to the hospital yet." You laugh softly and she nods her head, waiting a few more moments before stepping back slowly. "Okay, let's have a baby."

---

Your head is resting back against Natasha's shoulder as she acts like a backrest to you, allowing you to grip onto her hand when your contractions hit. Nat has been nothing but supportive the entire time, humming reassuring words into your ear as the pain washes over your body.

"Fuck." You whimper once another round of contractions end, Natasha's hand coming up to gently push back the sweaty hairs sticking to your forehead. "You're doing amazing baby, I'm so proud of you." She hums and you sigh, closing your eyes as you feel your wife rub your back. It's quiet as you feel Natasha's hands move down to your bump, rubbing your stomach softly as she sighs.

"Come on malen'kiy golub, your mommies are so excited to meet you." Nat coos and you smile into her neck, warmth flooding your chest as you listen to her. "And I know all of your aunties and uncles are excited to meet you too. We're so excited to hug you, and kiss you, and watch you grow." She hums as she rubs small circles on your belly.

"So please come out before your mommy kills me." Both of you laugh and you snuggle more into Natasha's embrace. "You're going to be an amazing mom." You whisper and Nat grins, looking at you with a quirked eyebrow. "Yeah?" She asks and you nod your head. "Yeah..I couldn't have asked for a more amazing wife, best friend, and now..a mother to our daughter." You hum and Nat blushes, kissing you gently.

----

Your eyebrows furrow as you grip onto Natasha’s hand, pain coursing through your body as you deliver the baby. “You’re doing amazing y/n, almost there.” Nat says as you practically crush her hand, hiding the pain in her face as she watches you. "Congratulations, it's a healthy baby girl." The doctor announces as the baby's cries fill the room, your chest heaving as you lay back. Nat cuts the umbilical cord ("I've seen worst in Budapest") and they place the baby on your chest, draping a blanket over the two of you to keep you warm.

"Hi baby." You coo as you hold your child close to your chest, Natasha standing next to you with unshed tears in her eyes. You look up at her and sniffle (you're crying so hard at this point) as you see the look of awe on her face, smiling as you gently reach out to grab her hand. Softly placing her hand atop of the baby's blanketed back, she slowly moves her thumb, the child's cries quieting at both of her mother's touch. Nat is speechless as she watches the tiny newborn cling onto your chest, loving the warmth radiating off of your body.

"She's a boob man, just like her mama." Nat whispers and you laugh, that being the first thing that comes to her mind. Your child's hand slowly comes up and wraps her fingers around Natasha's thumb, that being the breaking point for the tears as they finally fall down her cheek.

----

"Are you gonna hold her or are you just going to stare at me?" You ask as Natasha watches you and Mila sit on the bed, the two of you now alone with your child. Natasha looks hesitant as she walks over to you, never feeling so nervous as you look up at her.

"You aren't going to break her Nat." You say and Nat's eyebrows furrow, seeing the tiny infant look up at her with Y/c/e. The baby took from both you and Natasha, having scarlet red hair from her and beautiful y/c/e from you. "I just don't know..I mean what if I drop her? What if I do something wrong?" Nat worries her bottom lip between her teeth and you only beckon her to come closer, scooting over so she can sit on the hospital bed.

"You won't Nat, I promise." You reassure her and she slowly sits down on the bed, following your instructions as she places her hands out. Gently transferring the baby into her arms, you smile as Mila looks up at her mama, letting out a soft "gah". "See? She loves you already." You hum as you rub Mila's hair gently, seeing the love on Natasha's face. "Hi Mila." Nat breathes out as you rest your head on her shoulder, watching your wife interact with the baby. The tears return to Natasha's eyes as the newborn looks up at her, her emotions going everywhere as she processes that this is her child, her little bundle of joy that she gets the privilege of sharing with you. "Thank you." Nat whispers out as she looks at you, a smile on her face as she sniffles.

"For what?" You question and she only kisses you softly, smile still on her face as she pulls away. "For giving me another reason to live for." She whispers and her statement covers a wide range, thank you for being her wife, thank you for giving her a chance, thank you for her daughter, thank you for giving her the family she's always wanted, just thank you.

----

Mila's cries ring out through your room and pierce your eardrums, rousing you and Nat from your slumber.

"Mm, I've got it." You sleepily mumble out of instinct as you start to get up, now used to getting woken up in the dead of night.

Mila still doesn't have a sleep schedule since she's a newborn so sometime's she'll sleep for a few hours and other times only for ten minutes.

This time around though, you get gently pushed back onto the bed by Natasha, feeling a comforting kiss placed on your temple as your wife gets up. "I've got it, moya lyubov'." She whispers and you don't have enough energy to resist, watching as Nat walks over to the bassinet. "Hi malen'kiy golub, you have a healthy set of lungs don't you?" Nat mumbles sleepily as she pulls the newborn from the crib, cradling the baby to her chest and gently rocking her back and forth. "Yeah I know, it's okay baby. It's okay, mama's got you." She hums as the baby's cries slowly die down, you still sitting on the bed as you watch your wife in awe. "Your mommies need their sleep huh little one, that sounds nice doesn't it." Nat yawns and you cant help but smile.

"But don't worry, every time you wake up we'll be here okay? We'll love you and hug you each time you cry. And I'm gonna protect you, malen'kiy golub. I won't let anything happen to you or your mommy, I promise." Natasha coos as she continues to rock Mila, not noticing how you're wide awake now. It's a soft, quiet vow, spoken in the dead of night, that Natasha will protect her family with everything she has in her..and it makes you fall more in love with her, if that's even possible.

Getting up, you make your way over to your wife, gently placing your hands on her shoulders to notify her of your presence. She knew you were coming as soon as she heard the bedsheets rustle, even in her tired state she was looking out for the two of you. "Hi." Nat greets you softly and you only hum, a tired smile on your face as you rest your head on her shoulder. Your hand comes up and is gently placed on Mila's back, rubbing soft circles on her onesie. Natasha's heart swells as she looks at her small family, smiling when you kiss her cheek. "I love you." You whisper before looking down at your daughter. "And I love you too." You hum, gently kissing her fiery red hair. Nat kisses your temple gently and closes her eyes, finally at peace with her daughter in her arms and you at her side.

[greyeyedmonster-18]

lmao i love in ten reasons remus is like “because i’m divorced” like a hundred times, we get it boo,, he don’t care though

on a completely unrelated note, did you considered expanding on sirius’s addiction (like will we ever get a character study or something, do you have a bunch of headcanons and stuff for it) or was it always meant to be background? i have particular interest in stories that deal with addiction and i really enjoyed that nuance to him!

also unrelated to all of the above, in one of the chapters (you’ll excuse me i can’t go back and search for which one bc i’m at work rn/on mobile) sirius and regulus say something in greek to each other that remus doesn’t understand - but there’s not a sentence or anything to be translated either, in your head was that a planned out conversation, like, do you know what words they exchanged?? or was it just something of passage? if you do know, would you mind sharing? it made me curious, if you can’t tell lmao

OH and also - this in regards to greek; tbh— any thoughts on harry picking up on it/speaking it??

i apologize this is all over the place i really like this story as u can probably tell

bestie, i love ramble-y asks. it makes me feel like im inside your brain and roaming around and taking in the sights.

1. remus using "im divorced" as an excuse is one of my favorite things. i actually wrote a cut scene where sirius was like "you cant actually use that for everything" and remus is like "yeah i can. give me a scenario, ill spin it" and its like a PAGE of sirius being like "need...to get out of a speeding ticket." "i dont speed, and if i did, easy--im so sorry officer, i just finished signing my divorce papers and wanted to get home to celebrate."

2. for a BRIEF moment, i considered writing a prequel (five reasons (to leave Chicago)) that talked about sirius's life pre the UP, leading up to their move there buttttttt. idk if itll happen. maybe?

3. i actually keep meaning to go back and take that line out. Usually i develop that HC of mine a bit more extensively but...just....didnt in this fic (i know i know, bad writer). regulus says something about remus being there to sirius, something snarky like "oh was it bring your novelist to work day?"

No translation. It was just meant to be like a moment that never got expanded on again and i will probably go delete that bit nowish lol

[mikyouknow]

Please! Rewatch the quiz! I need something to remind me that that actually happened.

I still vividly remember that day. Going out on a chill bike ride with my two best friends for the first time in months. Sitting in the cool grass. Having a picknick. Not too hot out, nice weather. AND THEN I GET HOME TO THE ABSOLUTEL SHITSHOW THAT HAPPENED THAT DAY! Because what the HELL even was that, I still haven't processed anything. My mind keeps erasing that memory until some days the it just hits me square in the face and knocks me out 😀

So yeah! I would love it if you talked more about it, might help to cope a bit xD

Okay anon you motivated me, you were my Final push, I’m Doing it ! 🗣

Also I love that story tho you really have a Vivid memory connected to this whole thing and I’m living for it 😂 you were just having a nice day and then Boom, all this mess 💀

But aight so I’m Watching it rn and will be taking notes Live as I watch Here we go:

My first thoughts is, when Dream decides to do the quiz, he seems so like, confident? And then as soon as he reads the description, his voice falters at ‘and now things are changing’ and I’m Dead 💀 his confidence from two seconds prior in that moment goes like 📉 then cue flustered laugh lmao

“Do you ever catch yourself staring at your bff?” Dream’s flustered laugh and being all like “these questions are gonna be so weird” uhhhhh dude what are you expecting you’re taking a are you in love with your best friend quiz 💀

HES SO DEFENSIVE ON THIS ONE LIKE- he keeps wanting to make excuses aww drema aww 😭 it’s okay !! George is pretty we Understand you staring king 😌

Like legit that’s the first question and he’s already so flustered and- MY GOD GEORGE HASNT SAID A THING I JUST REALIZED WAIT HOLD ON I NEED TO GO BACK-

Two scoffs. That’s it 🧍‍♀️

GEORGE JSJWNSOWNEEJEN HES NOT SAYING ANYTHING IM DYING WHAT

Even when Dream first goes ‘aight imma take the am I in love w my best friend test’ George is SILENT 💀

Listen- listen, I’m having a moment over this cause I don’t remember him being silent from the start I thought it was like a slow descent into him just going silent eventually, BUT NO he’s just Silent from the moment the quiz is brought up 💀 but gives like a slight scoff when Dream’s voice wavered at “changing” like he’s very much Listening, just being So silent.

I just can’t wrap my head around how he doesn’t answer any of Dream’s comments, Dream keeps being like ‘right? Like that’s normal, right? Like that’s not weird. Right?’ And George is just SILENT 💀

“Do you get jealous if he or she has a bf or gf” LMAO THIS QUESTION MY BELOVED

His answer is so weird I will die on this hill.

ALSO GEORGE S P E A K S for the first time in the quiz 😭🗣 but not much, he says ‘but’, cause, yk, they both know he do get jealous so.

Which, again. Weird as hell. Imma say it, I’ve never felt jealous of my best friend getting a partner like what ???? W h a t

But ofc when they’re so clingy on each other, like a partner would take the others place because they pretty much have each other in that spot already, so it makes sense huh

And that’s not platonic btw I wanna make that clear LMAO

I think the points of which George laughs are interesting. And there’s something interesting to his laugh too. I don’t see his face lighting up with it, if that makes sense. It’s like a, I wouldn’t say ‘nervous’ laugh but, I struggle to find a better word for it 🤔

AYO MY MANS DREAM SAYS I DONT KNOW TO IF HE GETS BUTTERFLIES FROM GEORGE I- 💀

THATS NOT AN I DONT KNOW QUESTION KING

EITHER YOU DO OR YOU DONT AND YOU KNOW IF YOU DO OR DONT LIKE W H A T

I have to sit with this one for a second like . What ? 🧍‍♀️

Butterflies.

I’ve never. In my life. Like.

That’s not- you can’t say you don’t know- THAT MEANS LIKE-

Dear lord.

Aight I’m moving on (not actually imma be awake thinking about this later. Not by choice, absolutely not. This just won’t leave my brain unfortunately.)

Hang on. George says something here when Dream says ‘I have no idea’ but I can’t tell what he’s saying ? Like he mumbles something whilst Dream starts talking at the same time and I can’t make it out and I wanna know what he says 💀🗣

I Think he says ‘what do you mean you have no idea?’ Which like, YEAH, you Should question him on that king 🧍‍♀️ but it’s interesting how quiet he is, like he barely pushes the question, and this is like the second ?? Time he’s spoken so far. 🧍‍♀️

Also Listen to how flustered Dream sounds my god💀

This quiz never should’ve happened what’s Wrong with him like is he this blind ?? Did he Really think taking this quiz was gonna end well ?? 💀

“TecHniCally🥴”

“My future is your future”

I feel like we’ve talked abt these LMAO such Romantic phrasing my god

Again him going ‘right?’ And George is Dead Silent 💀

It’s interesting, like I’ve reached the ‘dreams’ question now, and it’s hitting now and throughout this quiz how, Dream is Loudly deflective, but George is silently deflective. If that makes sense? Like he’s choosing not to speak so his words can’t be thrown back at him cause he Knows if he speaks it’ll be obvious. Whilst Dream over explains and fucks himself over p much lmao. They’re both just a mess around this subject 💀

“How would You be in my dream” is such a funny sentence from George LMAO he’s so defensive 💀 like even I have had dreams abt Dream, like you’re his Best Friend, ofc you have dreams abt him my guy 💀 deflecting it is so weird. So Weird

“I’ve never hugged you” Sad hours 😔

It’s interesting here. Cause they speak abt the whole ‘do you go out of your way for this person’ and Dream is stuck on if he should say ‘more than anyone else I know’ or not. Which, there’s ofc observations to be had here as well.

But ! What I found interesting here was how George goes onto say ‘you made me pay you’ when Dream says he edited his video for him. And how George keeps the ‘lie’ going for a very short bit before laughing slightly, by god he sounds so.. different? Like when he usually makes little lies to troll or stuff like that, he’s much more extra and keeps the bit going and- idk how to explain it but the tone of his voice is usually way different. Here he seems to, idk, struggle to keep that up. His laugh is also just like, somewhat toneless?

LMAO The MOMENT Dream got the question ‘what do you think abt their laugh’ George’s laugh Stops. 💀

“Do you ever think abt what it would be like to Kiss your best friend?”

THE SILENCE

Also,

how Dream read ‘kiss’ 🤝 how Dream read ‘changing’

Some words hit this man different huh LMAO

“Why did that take you so long” on the kiss question, CALL HIM OUT GEORGE 🗣

HRKEJEKEEJEKJEEIEJ HOW ARE THOSE- SORRY WHAT DREAM ??

“HOW ARE THOSE THE ONLY OPTIONS” ???

God, for real, I wish Dream would get to sit down with someone one day who just Listened to him speak and allowed him to slip up and just sound so in love with George like give himself away simply because nobody is saying how weird he’s-

Hold on.

Wait. A minute.

George.

George is doing that LMAOOOO

Him sitting there silently and not responding to all his small questions abt what he Should answer and such, he’s so smart🧍‍♀️

AIGHT MOVING ON

George’s laugh keeps sounding very, like, strange😅

Anyways the way Dream Had to have a ‘yes’ answer to the kiss one will forever keep me up at night. Now along with the butterflies one🧍‍♀️

I rly wonder what options it is Dream is looking for when he says ‘none of these options’ so often. What is it you wanna say king ?

WHY IS THE BUTTERFLIES QUESTION TWICE AND WHY IS HIS ANSWER NOW DIFFERENT LMAO - drema it’s okay it’s Safe Space 🗣 I feel like he probably saw chat responding to his first answer and realized ‘oop, that’s not platonic’ and changed his answer LMAO 💀 he’s- Ahh hard to find the right words for my Thoughts here, but he’s doing that thing where he looks for others what is ‘normal’ instead of seeing what he feels, cause what He feels is, uh, well we all know what results he got at the end there,,

I mean the kiss question is all u need really. The butterflies one puts icing on the whole cake.

“Do you compare this person to others you’ve dated? Noo...” AIGHT AND THERE WE HAVE THE CHERRY ON TOP OF THE WHOLE THING

This was the one of the Most sus ones imo from when I first watched it. It had my head spin, head in hands for Days.

What do you MEAN you compare him to others you’ve dated? Why does he tell George to shut up, why do they both Know there’s a story there- I have so many questions on this and- this isn’t platonic 💀😭 AT ALL - and there’s no excuse or explanations for this one, they just Move On 💀

The Speed at which they move on 💀

And then George goes So silent 🧍‍♀️

Dream is cruising through the questions and George is so silent now. He was Stunned into silence from that shut up LMAO

I like how Dream picked ‘absolutely’ on being able to tell George everything :’)

So.

Why does George not say anything on the ‘do you think your best friend is in love with you’ question? No joke, no protest, no- no nothing?

That leaves us to fill in the blanks king, just saying🧍‍♀️

Why does Dream sound sarcastic when he says it’s a tough question LMAO

“I have no idea” aight good answer ig LMAO let’s Pretend

George’s silence is for real very sus there. Very. 🥴

Dream putting ‘no’ on thinking he’s in love, is Very funny and shows just how blind he is to himself.

He rly put ‘I don’t know’ for the butterflies one and found the nearest ‘yes’ option for the kiss one and then still put ‘no’ at the end - he’s a lost cause and owns no mirrors I see how it is. (/j btw lmao I have hope in drema ofc, he too can become more self aware one day<3)

“You are a little in love with your best friend” cue both of them laughing in just the weirdest ways. George just sounds absolutely toneless like, I don’t think he’s even smiling with that laugh, gaze absolutely dazed at what he’s being witness to, not even knowing what to do with himself in that moment. And Dream’s laugh is also just, weird?

“You don’t wanna ruin it, Dream.” Followed by Dream’s immediate, “oh what? It says-“ like immediately moving on lmao 💀 that “oh what?” Sounded like “oh what’s that there oh that’s rly weird wow let’s move on from what you just said ahem wow really weird thing over there” LMAO

“There’s a two percent chance there” LMAO

OH NO THE SILENCE WHAT

I THOUGHT I ACCIDENTALLY PAUSED THE VIDEO BUT THE SILENCE IS SO LONG AND SO LOUD

Then Dream going onto pretending like he’s gonna do another test As If he’s not been planning his escape excuse from the very moment he got those test results LMAO

And the silent pauses are taking me out 💀

‘I think we’re done’ HOW COULD HE LEAVE AT THAT POINT 💀💀💀

“COOL PODCAST” IM DEAD ON THE FLOOR

“WHY ARE YOU SO NOSY” DREAM I- WHY U SO DEFENSIVE GEORGE ASKING WHERE YOU’RE GOING IS A NORMAL THING TO ASK 💀YOU’RE THE ONE WHO’S SUDDENLY LEAVING

NOT DREAM AWKWARDLY SINGING THE WIZARD OF OZ-

HE SOUNDS SO WEIRD-

The tone of his voice is so off my guy is so ready to leave and sit and stare at a wall whilst looping heatwaves for five hours 💀

:((((( drema my beloved :((((( it’s okay to be in love !!

Not him leaving- he full on ignored George’s ‘where are you going?’

He’s not going anywhere istg the moment he left that discord he put his head in his hands and just Stared 💀

Poor George 🥺

[hotchseyebrows]

thoughtfulness in little things

a derek morgan x penelope garcia fic

a/n: can you believe that is my first ever full length morcia fic? me? resident morcia nut? wow. what a world. anyway!! i hope yall like this (and if you noticed it was already on ao3 earlier today shhh this is a scheduled tumblr post im Sleeping rn) and hopefully i dont take 4 months in between posting fics again, but i make no promises!!! my brain is Evil

thank you @blkantigone for being my beta and thank you @derekmorqan for letting me barf 1k of this in our dms a while back, i love you both sm

they do kiss a fair bit in this (it is, in fact, a first kiss fic) and its a little steamy, but by no means explicit and is rated teens and up on ao3 :)

read it here on ao3!!

Penelope splutters. “Sugar, you don’t have to stay here with me, it’s really not that big of a deal.”

He shrugs. “How am I supposed to party when my best girl is stuck at work?”

-

Everything changes during a late night in Penelope's batcave. But really, nothing changes at all.

word count: 3000

Friday nights without a case are a rare treasure for SSA Hotchner’s highly sought after team of profilers. Normally, Derek and Penelope would be taking advantage of the freedom by dancing all night, but sometimes the universe has other plans. 

Penelope used this week’s case-free time to put the finishing touches on an antivirus and security software of her own creation. The personal information of her beloved BAU babies was a hot commodity well worth the additional protection, and she’s always looking for a reason to fiddle with Quantico’s servers. It ended up being a whole production, taking the entire afternoon and then some. Apparently, she still doesn’t have all of the permissions required to make certain adjustments which means that she’s fiddling and bending her way into all of the things she needs to do. If that wasn’t bad enough, the whole damn thing crashed around 4:00. She managed not to pull her hair out, but it was a close thing and it set her back at least an extra hour.

Derek stops by a little after 5, his jacket slung over his shoulder. “Baby girl, I can hear the bottles of DC’s finest vodka and Hennessy calling our names, are you almost ready to leave for the day?” He pauses in the door, taking in her furious typing and furrowed brow. “Whoa, Mama, what’s the matter? You’ve got Hotch’s eyebrows.”

She throws her arms up. “The entirety of the FBI and also the world is getting on my nerves!” He walks over to her, leaning on the side of her chair and turning her away from her monitor. His hands gently grab both of hers and he rubs a soothing circle with one of his thumbs. 

“Explain, baby girl.” 

She does, eventually just ranting and raving about how annoying it is to still be put in metaphorical handcuffs by the FBI as if she can’t just do what she wants anyway. “I’m not even breaking any rules, technically, they’re just making things annoying and long winded.” She sighs, moving her hands to interlock their fingers. “But now that it’s started, it would be doubly annoying to stop it and come back later. So I’m stuck here until it’s done, which might take a while.”

He nods, thinking. Then he straightens up, grabs the extra rolling chair, and sits down. 

Penelope splutters. “Sugar, you don’t have to stay here with me, it’s really not that big of a deal.”

He shrugs. “How am I supposed to party when my best girl is stuck at work?” She blushes, turning away to hide it on instinct. 

“You cheeseball.” She spins around to lightly push on his arm. He just smiles. 

They sit together for 20 minutes in relative silence as she continues her work. It’s a comfortable silence; his occasional humming soothes her rising annoyance at how needlessly long this is taking. She can hear him playing with one of the fidget toys she keeps on her desk behind him. When she gets to another point of sitting and waiting, she turns towards him and asks him about his day. He tells her about how Prentiss helped him get Reid back for a prank by distracting him in the break room while he switched out the keyboard of Reid’s computer with an identical one with a grass garden planted inside. “It’s a long con for sure, but I’m hoping it sprouts this weekend.”

She laughs. “How long did it take you to set this up, dumpling?” She already knows the answer, but it’s nice to see his slightly sheepish but proud look about his dedication to his prank war. Her computer beeps at her, and she spins back around to begin working again.

He rolls closer, avoiding her question and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “You getting hungry yet?”

She relaxes, leaning against him. As if on cue, her stomach grumbles. “Yes, I’d say so.”

He leans over and moves a strand of hair out of her face. “Okay baby girl, I’ll go grab us food and be right back.” She nods, lifting her cheek on instinct to meet the kiss she knows is coming. He stands and sure enough, leans down to kiss her cheek. “I’ll be quick. Be good.”

“How can I do anything else if you’re not here?” She bats her eyes up at him. 

He grins. “Oh, I’m sure you’d think of something.” He brushes his knuckles against her cheek. It makes her shiver.

She watches him leave, catching the kiss he blows at her from the door. Turning back to focus on her work, it feels like she blinks and he’s back. A glance at the clock tells her it’s been over a half hour. He puts the bag of food onto the table before coming to pull her away from the computer. 

“One minute, I promise, I’m so close to just letting this thing run for a little.” He twirls her hair around his fingers before dropping his hands onto her shoulders, rubbing away the tension. A minute and a half later, she leans back in her chair with a sigh. She tilts her head back and sticks her tongue out at him. He smiles at her. 

"Come eat, baby girl. Don't think you're getting out of eating my hard won dinner." He moves to the table and pulls out her chair. She follows and sits.

"Hard won — mon cher, you didn't tackle a wild animal and lug it home to our log cabin in the woods, you drove your car 20 minutes."

He kisses her temple, handing her a pair of chopsticks. "Yeah, but I would lug home whatever you needed anytime, so the sentiment is the same."

She smiles and knocks their feet together under the table lightly. He moves his chair, so they are sitting right next to each other on the same side of the table. The heat from his arm is palpable.

Derek grabs a box from the bag and splits the vegan pad thai within onto two paper plates. He opens the box of spring rolls and places it in between them while she places napkins in front of them both. He pops the cap off of her bottle of lemonade without her asking, and sets that in front of her too. “Thank you, handsome.” He smiles in response. They start eating and the comfortable silence returns. 

She talks him through what she still needs to do to fix everything in between bites, even though she knows he doesn't really understand her technobabble. But Penelope can feel his eyes on her, and without looking, she somehow knows that something has shifted in the air around them.

"What?" she asks, turning her attention away from gesturing at her computer with the chopsticks. "Do I have something on my face?"

He chuckles. "Actually, yes, c'mere." He brushes away a stray spot of sauce on the corner of her lips with a gentle swipe of his thumb. The rest of his hand stills on her cheek. She shivers. She can see him notice it, his attention focusing in on her. Penelope's blood is thundering in her ears as he glances in between her lips and her eyes.

She leans purposefully into his hand. His thumb brushes over her lips again and her mouth falls open a little. 

"Penelope, I-" he cuts himself off with a hard swallow. "Penelope." His eyes flicker down to her lips and back up to her eyes quickly again.

She can only blink at him for a moment. "Yes, Derek?"

"I don't kn- um. Can I-" She's never seen him flustered and unsure like this. But they've never been out of sync before and they aren't about to start now, so she nods, bringing up a hand to rest on his. A smile grows on his face before he starts to lean in. His hand slides along her cheek to more firmly grip her face- it makes her gasp.

He pauses, thinking something is wrong. "Penelope, are y-" Her heart swells at how careful he is to take care of her always, and she meets him in the middle, pressing their lips together in a soft, purposeful kiss.

For a moment, all is still. The world boils down to just the place where their lips are touching. Their lips barely brush against one another, but already Penelope feels light headed. Derek separates their lips for a moment before kissing her again, a firmer touch this time. She sucks in a breath through her nose. His lips are incredibly kind- that’s the only word for it. He doesn’t seem to know the word “take” right now because all she can feel from him is “give.” As he presses into the kiss and gently cups the side of her face, her brain wildly spins through thoughts about how of course he’s like this even when kissing her and how good he smells and how she can’t believe they haven’t done this sooner.

He draws her closer against him, pressing into the kiss more insistently before bringing his other hand up to her face and holding her. His fingers move to cup the sides of her neck and she tilts her head to the left a touch, letting her mouth fall open in a sigh. He makes a soft noise before tentatively sliding their tongues together. A full body shiver runs down her spine and through her limbs. Another small noise falls from the back of his throat. Her stomach swoops like they've just dropped down the side of a huge arch in a roller coaster. She places both hands on his chest, pressing forward. He moves with her, chair squeaking underneath him as he presses closer, one arm snaking around her back. Penelope’s heart pounds even louder. His tongue is gentle even in its insistence as their kiss turns slightly desperate. 

It feels like someone has lit a fire underneath Penelope’s chair, warmth washing over her whole body and radiating out from everywhere they touch. One of his hands tangles into her hair as he gently tilts her head back. If she wasn’t sitting her knees would have buckled so long ago, but now she would absolutely be on the floor. It’s no surprise that Derek Morgan is an incredible kisser, but knowing something and knowing something is so different. 

He pulls back, letting their foreheads rest together. Her eyes stay closed, tingles radiating from everywhere his fingers are tenderly holding her face. She tightens her grip on his shirt. He kisses the tip of her nose. "You still with me, baby girl?"

She nods, breathless. She slowly opens her eyes and smiles at him. "Hi." It's the first thing she thinks to say. 

He laughs. "Hey you."

She has so many questions- how long have you wanted to do that, can we do that again right now, can we do so much more right now, right here- but before she can ask any of them, her computer beeps loudly. "Oh!" She jumps at the sudden noise. He drops his hands and leans back, looking far too much like the cat who got the cream. "I should- right, I should deal with that," she says, standing on shaky legs. Heels were never so precarious. Of course, there is no hiding from a profiler.

He grins up at her. "Need some assistance?" His eyes are shining like he's hiding a joke. She scrunches her nose at him, biting back a smile.

"Oh, hush you. I’m perfectly capable of walking 3 feet, thank you very much." Her tenacity is a little undercut from the way her hands are trembling a little as she smooths her skirt, but still. The point remains.

He raises his hands in surrender. "Alright baby girl, go on then."

She walks over to her computer and stays standing to fiddle with the wires behind it before bending over at the keyboard and reading the report on the screen. "It shouldn't be much longer now, it just needs to run the last new anti-virus- what?" He's leaning back in his seat and staring at her, a small smile dancing on his lips.

"What, Mama?" But he knows what, clearly evident from the way he is trying to school his expression into something innocent.

She blushes. "Derek Morgan, I don't know what I'm going to do if you keep looking at me like that."

"Oh, I don't know. I might have some ideas."

She sucks in a sharp inhale through her nose. Playing nonchalant, she turns back to her computer. "Well, I might have to hear your ideas out."

"Yeah?" 

She glances at him out of the corner of her eye and he's grinning.

"Yeah." she says, not trusting what will come out of her mouth if she elaborates (probably something along the lines of “I’d listen to all your ideas, do your ideas include any semblance of forever, if you keep grinning like that I'm gonna lock the door and do something reckless”).

They sit in relative silence, just the sounds of her typing filling the room. When she finishes, she spins her chair around. "Hi," she says again.

"Hi baby," he responds.

Her fingers twist and curl the hem of her skirt. "So, uh, well, that's gonna take at least another 30 minutes to finish running."

He raises one eyebrow. "30 minutes, huh?" 

She nods. "Might be a good time for some of those ideas." 

He stands and walks across the room to her. She takes his offered hand and stands as well. They stay there, inches apart and holding hands as the charged atmosphere around them seems to crackle. In the same breath, they lean in to kiss again. Both of her arms wrap around his neck as he tucks his around her waist. He pulls her against him, fully pressed together as the soft kiss deepens into something heated and desperate.

He bites her bottom lip gently before the kiss turns open mouthed and slick. She arches against him as they slide into a slow rhythm. She feels fluttery, like his arms are the only anchor point in the whole world and if he let her go, she’d simply float away. He tastes like lemonade, sweet and alive. She hums as he tracks his hands in a slow circle at the base of her spine. Her knees really do buckle a little as he attempts to tug her closer, but he holds her steady. She rests a hand on his cheek and grounds herself by using the other to grip the back of his neck. She’s utterly swallowed up by him, his arms and his mouth and just him surrounding her in their own little cocoon. He separates their mouths to kiss across her jaw and down her neck, hands flattening on her back. He places a line of long kisses down to the crook of her neck. She lets out a sigh, letting her head fall to the side to give him more room. He sinks his teeth into the same spot lightly, and she shudders. 

"Derek," she whispers. She can feel his smile against his skin as he kisses the same place again.

They slow to a stop, tucked against each other. He rests his face against her neck and mumbles something against her skin. "Hmm honey?" she says, hand rubbing a circle on the nape of his neck.

"I got us that Talenti ice cream you like," he says, only moving enough to be heard. “Chocolate peanut butter cup, and the color changing spoons are still in the break room.”

"Oh Der, that's so sweet, you didn't have to do all of that." Her heart skips a beat. 

He shrugs, kissing the side of her neck. "I wanted to."

She is half tempted to haul him in for another kiss, but as if on cue, her stomach grumbles. He picks his head up and smiles at her. "Come eat now," he says before giving her another quick peck. 

She lets him pull her to the table, but before they sit, she pulls him in again. He chuckles into the kiss.  "Eat, you menace." He mumbles against her lips. Pulling back, he plants a kiss on the apple of her cheek as he guides her into her seat.

She bites a retort about how she was trying to but he sees it on her face anyway. 

"Later, baby girl. Dinner first."

“Then dessert?” She tilts her head and gives him a flirty smile. 

He runs his thumb along her bottom lip. “All the dessert you want, Penelope.”

Much the same as before, they eat in comfortable silence. Except this time he rests a hand on her thigh, and traces a slow lazy circle with his thumb. The conversation picks back up and turns to unrelated things. Derek muses about possible retaliations from Spencer once he notices his new desk plants as he casually offers her a bite from his plate. She takes it, humming.

Something Penelope did not realize had lost its footing resettles in her chest. Nothing is different, not in any way that would scare her or be a loss. They are just the same as they've always been, but also more. (Though she'd be hard pressed to think of a time when this wasn't the way they were. Maybe things are just being unveiled, not changed.) 

When they finish eating, he goes to get the ice cream and two of the fun spoons from the break room. They split the pint and laugh far too loudly for how late it is. The computer beeps for a final time, software finally fully uploaded and settled. She still has to run tests and double check that everything is working, but that can wait. Derek offers her a bite of ice cream, and if he kisses her again to remove the ice cream from her bottom lip, she can't say she minds.

[vickyskpopkingdom]

Baekhyun :: working blues

request: Hii! Im rlly into baekhyun's new album rn and i was hoping u could write a fluff where ur just having a rough day and he sings u to sleep pls!! Rlly like ur fluff writes btw 💕💕

thank you so much for your kind words! i haven't written about exo in a long, long time but i hope that you still like what i came up with!

warnings: overworking, stress

1.8k words, gn reader

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Sometimes you felt like the world was collapsing on you. The weight on your shoulders got too heavy at times and you were just tired. So tired, so tired. Today was one of those days.

The work you had to do didn't seem to end. At this point you couldn't even count how many e-mails you had answered, how many texts you have read, how many calls you made and how many words you have written. Your eyes were so tired they started to water at the sight of the bright screen of your laptop in front of you. When had it become so dark around you? Hasn't it been noon just a few minutes ago?

A quick glance through your bedroom window and towards the clock on your wall told you something different. It was already eight p.m., the streetlamp outside your window was the only source of light right now other than your laptop. With a sigh you leaned back into your chair and tried stretching your arms as well as your neck and legs. Every joint in your body seemed to make a protesting cracking noise and as you tried to massage your neck, your muscles burned with protest.

You sighed again. Maybe you really should invest in one of those fancy office chairs that claimed to be a blessing for your whole body. At the thought of the price however you shook that thought out of your head.

Standing up you got through another round of stretching your whole body and decided to check out the kitchen for food. It only hit you as the dim light of the fridge illuminated your face that you were supposed to go grocery shopping today. Empty shelves greeted you back and your stomach grumbled angrily.

You tried hard not to scream out of frustation. Nothing wanted to work your way these days and you were honestly so tired of it. For some time you were able to tell yourself that everything would work out and that you would find your working blues again but that was yet to happen. Quietly you closed the fridge door again, sliding down against it to the floor.

The project you had been assigned at the start of last week was way more complicated than you had anticipated, the sources you were thinking of using turned out to be a scam. Adding to that the promotion you had been so sure of getting had been given to someone else and while you could understand that they deserved it, you were sure that you would have deserved it as well. Not only was your fridge emtpty but you had been neglecting your healthy eating habits for quite some time now, which only frustated you more.

And today all of these things seemed to add up all at once, crushing you under their weight.

When was the last time you really had a good nights sleep? You had worked late and gotten up early, eating only bits and pieces of instant food, sitting at your desk all day and falling into bed only to repeat the same cycle over and over again. Right now you were fighting to keep the tears at bay but the merry-go-round in your head kept spinning, piling up more and more worries.

When was the last time you had seen your friends? When was the last time you even properly talked to them? You were always telling them that you were busy with work when they asked to hang out. They never pressured you to still come with them but you knew that they would love to see you again even for a few hours. Yet you still could not get yourself to take their invitations, the thought of your unfinished project sitting in the back of your head constantly.

When was the last time your boyfriend--?

Just as the tears started flowing down your face the doorbell rang. Its sound surprised you so much that you jumped up, your heart beating fast. The clock in your kitchen read nine p.m. One hour went by while you were staring holes in the walls and drowned in your thoughts.

You couldn't really think of a reason why someone would visit you this late, on a weekday nonetheless. But not answering the door wasn't an option either, you would just start to worry about 'what-ifs'. So you decided to take a peak through the peephole in your door.

Your heart picked up its pace at you saw a familiar face illuminated by the light of a smartphone-screen, lookin worried and confused. Fumbling with your keys you opened the door and the person looked up from their phone.

"Hey Bambi, are you okay?"

Baekhyuns voice filled your ears as soon as he looked into your face. He eyed you up and down, making sure you were alright. "I texted and tried to call you for at least two hours now. There was no reaction from you whatsoever."

As you allowed him to step into your home, you sighed. "Sorry, I threw my phone across the room at one point and didn't pick it up again."

Your boyfriend chuckled as he got rid of his shoes and coat, placing both neatly onto their usual spots in the entrance of your flat. Just the sight of him, doing everyday things, smiling, talking was an instant boost for your mood. Now that he was here you fully realized just how much you had missed his presence.

"Why would you throw your phone?", Baekhyun questioned.

You made a dismissive move with your hand, not wanting to talk about the infuriating call you had to make a few hours ago. "I was frustrated", you only said.

Together you and Baekhyun made your way towards your bedroom. Just as you stepped into the room and turned on the lights you remembered the state you left your working place in. But it was too late to make him turn around now. Quickly you tried to tidy up the place a little bit, hiding the traces of your overworking as Baekhyun cleared his throat to gain your attention.

"Are you drowning yourself in work again?"

You stopped dead in your tracks. This wasn't the first time he had seen you piling up work on your shoulders and ending up being unable to do anything else. Back then you had promised him to take better care of yourself or at least take real breaks once in a while to catch a breath.

"Maybe...."

Now it was Baekhyuns turn to sigh. "Did you eat today? And before you answer i mean 'eat a proper meal'."

Picking up your phone from the floor you sat yourself down on the bed. "No, not really. It's just this project..."

Baekhyun shook his head at you, but you still noticed the small smile on his face. "You are such a hard-working person. But you need to allow yourself some time to breathe, you know?"

His voice was calm, sounding like music to your ears. Even after all this time you had been in a relationship with him you were still surprised by how easily he could make you relax.

"Yes, I know."

"And since I am such a caring and awesome boyfriend", he said, rustling with a plastic bag you only now noticed in his hands, "I brought you some food."

As you looked into his smiling face you couldn't help but ask yourself how you got so lucky.

The meal was good, it was your favorite and having Baekhyun by your side made you feel even more grounded. It almost felt like you gained new energy after a week of complete exhaustion and constant worrying. While you were eating the both of you talked about everything and nothing, catching up, telling stories and sharing your newest netflix suggestions.

The evening proceeded and your eyes landed on the clock again. It was late, if you were still caught up in your workaholic-lifestyle you would have already been asleep right now. However surprisingly you currently were not even close to worrying about getting up the next morning. What bothered you most right now was that this evening would end and eventually you would have to go to sleep an wake up in the morning, getting back to your work.

Baekhyun seemed to notice the frown on your face sooner than you could hide it again. "What's wrong?"

You shrugged. "This is nice, simply being together with you. But you probably have to leave soon and then tomorrow I have to work on this stupid project again."

"I can stay the night, if you want me to of course."

"I didn't want to pressure you into--"

"You didn't", he interrupted you, before you could end the sentence and feel like you made him stay against his will, "I actually wanted to ask if I could stay anyways. Tomorrow is one of my free days. I could even keep you company while you work."

Your chest felt warm at his words. "I would love that."

Soon you two found yourselves back in your bed, bodies entangled with each other, quiet breaths sounding through the room. You could feel your eyelids growing heavy, but as soon as you closed your eyes all you could think of was the next morning, the project, the unanswered emails, the calls.

"Still can't calm down, Bambi?", Baekhyun whispered in your ear, while slowly stroking your hair.

With closed eyes you shook your head. "I can't take my mind off of work."

The next thing you heard was quiet humming coming from Baekhyun. You could feel the vibration of his vocal chords against your own body. His voice really was a blessing for everyones ears, he could carry emotions through singing that you weren't even able to put into words. His songs made you happy, they made you cry occasionally, they made you feel calm or made you miss something you didn't even knew existed. It was a gift.

His humming transformed into words, calmly sang into the otherwise dark and quiet room.

It's a night filled with a single stream of light

You're my timely rain, Bambi

I don't want to waste even a second of this night just

being the two of us

As you listened to his singing, you could finally feel your muscles relaxing, your brain calming down and your whole body drifting towards sleep. There were no worrysome thoughts turning your mind upside down anymore, there was only Baekhyun and his voice filling your head with images of your favorite places, your favorite memories and him. The warmth of his body under the blankets made you feel safe, at home. This was were you belonged.

And while Baekhyun continued with the song you fell into a deep sleep, one that you deserved after all the work you had done. You already knew that you found your blues again. Everything would work out again, just like you had always thought yourself. And all you had needed was just a small push in the right direction from the right person.

I don't want to wake up from this dream, keep this tempo

I hope the sun doesn't rise while I keep my eyes closed

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I really hope you enjoyed this one! It was nice to write something again but I do feel like i am a little bit out of training i guess haha

and also if you feel like the reader in this scenario, please remember that there will be better days & that life is more than working day to day! take a break, make some tea, get some fresh air and get back to your work with a fresh mind; you can do it!!