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late valentine's day fiddy doodle!!! 💖💞
#myart#paddy (oc)#fili durin#fili#they are so dear to me ... the qpps ever#i rushed so hard to finish this before i ran out of time omg 😭#fiddy
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my problem is i think most of p5s ships are cute and thats why i almost always am down for some form of polythieves
usually i just lump all the guys together cause all those ships are just so good to me??? and i mean like, every combination of them, even without ren. ill ship ryuji and yusuke. and i also love goro with either of them. ryugoro and akekita are so rare but theyre so nice?? they all just. clenches fists. theyre so good ot4 pegoryugorokita
goroann besties is real in my heart. also goroharu being like the Cursed besties ever in the end like. my god they have such a wack and unhinged platonic soulmates/kindred spirits potential. goromako rivals forever my guy they are so fucking funny. and ryukoto is kinda cute...
i think shumako is nice but its just not my cuppa tea. they are dear friends and i do love the image of ren and makoto being a bit rivalcoded and butting heads over phantom thievery and how to lead the team best. and goro is weirdly the one who can actually somehow stop arguments before they happen and get them to compromise.
makoto is NOT the mom friend okay she is the bossy and protective older sister friend. and she is smart and sensible but not immune to her friends infecting her with Stupid. ren is the mom friend. and the dad friend. best of both things. :)
ren: its hard raising 8 kids when youre in high school and an 18 y/o whos like if a divorced widow was a boy 😔 sojiro: what happened to your husband??? ren: he was lost at sea goro: ren, look at this dog i saw on my way here ren: i can still hear his voice
meanwhile i love futago half siblings headcanon. so while goro and makoto are a little more sibling rivalry coded, futaba is still goros actual gremlin sibling who will bully him to death. meanwhile, futaba is actually adoptive siblings with ren. these two are WAY more sibling coded than goro and futaba ever.
and when futaba starts trying to do similar Sibling dynamic things with goro. goro is like ??? "ren, futaba just came in here. stared at me. burped. and then left. what does this mean." and ren is like. "oh is there food? theyre probably telling you theres food and to come out if you want some. or if this is your first time seeing them today they could just be greeting you." and goro is like ????? but louder this time
i love shujin trio poly... and i default to them being the OG Cule. shuann? v cute love them. ryuann? also cute and honestly v funny of how messy i imagine their hookups being. like they keep breaking up and eventually finding their way back to each other. sometimes i see them as sibling coded, too, more than anything else. overall i just love these three together they are the tomodachis of all time they are partners for life
i also love ryuharu. and harukita (yuharu?) theyre really cute.... then theres good ol makoharu and annmako (makoann?) and i love them too... honestly love hifumi and makoto too?? i think they would be huge fucking dorks together... perhaps.... rivals, even?
goro and hifumi being friends... good shit. hifumi and yusuke being close friends? plz... and ren and hifumi are just. wahh i love them theyre so good. even futaba and hifumi could be cute, honestly.... wtf
and we cannot forget ANNSHIHO,,, forever. my GORLS.... lesbiabs of my heart.
anntaba is a rare one but theyre also v cute to me... and if they arent girlfriends i love the idea of futaba having a crush on her and then realizing those feelings are actually just Admiration and Gender envy. i also love the idea of morgana finding out his crush on ann is ALSO GENDER ENVY RELATED.... we love nonbiney morgana. hope is genderless
ren: my CAT IS TRANS!? NOT CLICKBAIT?
and makoto is always being an older sister to futaba. yutaba is nice, too. i honestly see futaba and yusuke being aspec and theyre platonic soulmates and in a qpp. and ofc sumitaba my beloved... i love sumitaba a lot
i adore ryusumi too like oh myg od,,.. wahh.... the sweeties. sumikita is so rare but like. i think they could be kinda cute too?? sumigoro is V platonic soulmates to me like my god theyre so. clenches fist. honestly whole royal trio tbh is just. "they can make each other worse" and each of them thinking "thank god im the normal one here" thats it thats the whole dynamic. and its so funny.
shusumi is cute too but honestly i think i prefer both ren and goro have somethin of a platonic soulmates or older sibling dynamic with sumire. they have adopted her okay. sumiann isnt one i see a lot either but they.... THEM.....
any mishima ship is super funny imo but like, theyre cute. love yuuki having a crush on ren but like. the game makes it near impossible for you to actually be fucking nice to him so i always get the vibe that ren would rather keep him at a distance, even tho they appreciate him and care about him.
its okay tho cause i say hes good friends with the OG trio + shiho and they vibe. yuuki crushing on goro, to his own horror? hilarious. and weirdly enough shiho and ren?? idk what their acronym is. but. oh my god. theyre actually weirdly cute? but i see them having disaster twins energy. theyre absolute menaces.
#theres a lot of these guys i totally missed some ships#persona 5#persona 5 royal#p5r#akeshu#shuake#pegoryu#ryukita#ryugoro#akekita#shukita#ryukoto#shumako#shutaba siblings#futago siblings#makoann#makoharu#ryuharu#shihoann#ryuann#shuann#anntaba#sumitaba#yutaba#shusumi#ryusumi#annshiho
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Do you have a favourite fic thatd you’ve written? Like one (or more) youre proud of thatd youd like more people to read?
I'm glad ya asked, Duckie!
Here's some fics I'm proud of:
Tell It to Me, My Dearest Star -> qpp/alterous Logince, part of Logince Week 2024, hurt/comfort, kinda addresses how Logan's so used to be silenced and stuff; literally the reason I realized I'm alterous & made one of my moots cry bc star saw starself in my depiction of Logan [you've prob seen it, I saw ya from your tags]
Burning Timber, Grey Fog -> Logince, part of Logince Week 2024, hurt/comfort, they take care of each other, my take on literal burnout for Roman as Creativity, addresses burnout & creative block as well as depression & brain fog; one of my fave writers gave it a comment on ao3 & talked about how this would make sense for executive dysfunction/burnout because they're like Thomas' executive functions & it made me smile [you've also seen this one if I can recall [lmao]]
All of Me Needs Sleep, All of Me -> platonic Thvi/Thomxiety, based on a @/sleepyvirgilprompts prompt (properly tagged & credited), mild hurt/comfort, short but sweet & very wholesome; I love writing platonic stuff with Thomas & his Sides, and this is the only fic I've ever been recognized for (only like one time; which was funny as hell bc it's the very first fic I posted on Tumblr & my writing style has changed a lil since then)
An Emerald Crown -> creativitwins & background DLAMPR, lots of warnings, rated M (Mature) for some content like unaliving thoughts/attempt, major hurt/comfort, Roman comforting Remus, features the Imagination being a sentient maternal entity to the twins, kinda long; really spoke to a reader/commenter on ao3 & I did some projecting on poor Remus when I was having a very rough day & I'm weak for the brothers bc complicated siblings are important to me (a personal fave)
Polaris -> platonic Wrathloceit (Orange, Janus, Logan), hurt/comfort, Logan angst, rated M (Mature) for content like unaliving thoughts, features some fun thoughts I've got about Orange; made a commenter/reader on Tumblr cry & this is another one dear to my heart & the first time I wrote Orange directly interacting with other Sides
I don't have a lot of fics tbh, but here's some I like very much :3
Always read the warnings!
#oatmeal asks#duckie moot#hurt/comfort is all I do lmao#fic recs#sanders sides#have fun with 'em fics#thanks for the ask!
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🛒 tell me about ur themes ollie
I WOULD LOVE TO DO NOTHING MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fanfic writer emoji ask!
🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc. - im going to speak these words and you're going to think "HIGURASHI FAN", and you will be correct. generally speaking, a theme i am obsessed with, is perception vs reality. being neurodivergent, in my experience, is like being your own unreliable narrator, not even knowing you're unreliable - so it's a topic that's very near and dear to my heart.
in particular, i love getting into the nitty gritty of it: in particular, outside forces shaping how a person thinks, but they're not aware of it. tttaac mob and crowfic ritsu are biggest examples of this, so is tmtrainer eden, you feel protected isaac, and reanimation technician itadori - the feeling of when you're angry and don't know it's because you're hungry, or depressed but don't know it's because of stress you've been carrying for a long time? that there is my bread and butter.
(^it's also the reason i'm so into um... brain damage? just conceptually? i find it fascinating as someone who, albeit in a neurodivergent sense, has a lot of their perception of the world changed by physical nonsense in their noggin (like autism, adhd, anxiety). it's a specific thing to keep returning to, from my transformers fics to tttaac and beyond, but what can i say. i love the intrigue that comes with someone's entire being being shaped by a physical organ and what happens if you poke at that.)
i also, PREDICTABLY, love gory imagery, i think gore is a constant in my writing, whether it's actually happening or is just used as extended metaphor - cuz, and i tell this story often, i got my start with fanfiction (and writing in general) through grimfics and creepypastas, and one of my biggest fandoms ever, the one i have to thank for a lot both creatively and for the reason i even know my qpp and why i'm on this site at all, was warrior cats - where, to a kid, feeling cool and mature reading about death scenes and gore is awesome. so i'll always gravitate towards some manner of blood and guts, its my favorite
speaking of warriors, in my oc fic, spottedfur's pride... i need to learn to use nature imagery other than going off of what season it is, lol, but for characters living in a forest, it checks out. there's so much season imagery in spottedfur's pride. i put maybe a bit too much emphasis in the first arc on half-melted snow and muddy slush at the tail end of winter, but in my defense, i think it makes for cool visuals, and i'm still kind of struggling to write for characters i cant fall back on human traits, concepts, etc, to describe. so for now, have sooo much season imagery lol.
also i've been told my writing style is very "psychological/out of body introspection -> physical sensation -> psychological/out of body introspection -> so on and so forth" - not as a criticism, just something my friend cyn pointed out to me once, and.. i always notice that lol. it's because i think i'm very good at writing overarching thoughts and broad-strokes feelings and how they change over time (i'm a huge character study guy) but i struggle with scene-by-scene action-by-action Plot Progression(tm), so i cheat my way out of it by using paragraphs of internal monologuing as free timeskips. and granted i think i'm good enough at it lol
tysm!!! i love getting to ramble about my process... if you couldnt tell lolol.
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aroace Mary is so galaxy brain, and you're so right she wouldn't want anyone, especially her dear friend seto, to waste their lives when she'll both never love them the same way back AND out live them. but that doesn't make her love less special, in fact, her love is eternal for all her friends
EXACTLYYYYYY AUGH.. HER LOVE IS ETERNAL FOR ALL HER FRIENDS!!! (breaks down) aroace mary 💖 she does love seto and she does love him differently than she loves anyone else but it doesn't meet seto's Intensity. it's not to say one is more valid than the other though!!! they both adore each other but mary is aware seto has a specific perspective she doesn't Have. i think seto is so pathetic(lovingly) abt how in love he's with mary he's just looking at her with his eyes shaped like hearts and she's like. Stop looking at me like that. she doesn't see him as Just a friend definitely, she's In Love in her own way but it's so wildly different from seto's way of being in love and mary doesn't see it as compatible. basically she's in love in an aromantic way and seto is in love in an alloromantic way and yeah this obviously can still work but heh. mary's whole thing you know. she feels incredibly guilty. it's not abt seto being able to deal with it, it's mary who can't deal with it!! seto can be like i'm just happy being by your side forevers :3 BUT that's particularly the problem. mary's like ok but I DON'T…WANT THAT… ofc she wants to be by everyone's side as they grow up.... and while she Can be the partner seto wants bc she does love him too and both can be happy, she will never stop feeling he deserves someone who will meet his same love intensity, cuz she knows he holds back bc of her boundaries and he's okay with it but she isn't okay with it. she decides it's not fair to him! and she would feel so guilty of taking that place in seto's short life!!! let's not forget seto's also sort of an empath like ayano. remember his whole thing abt he can tell someone's emotions and stuff just from looking at them without necessarily using stealing eyes. yeah. he totally understands what mary means and how she feels, he understands the pain and guilt it causes her. Yet SHE doesn't understand that he loves her so much he doesn't care at all and she should not hurt for him. he's like if only she knew it would be an honor to spend my life by her side even if she doesn't feel the same specific attraction. but there's no way for her to ever understand that and seto loves her so much he can let her go. sits here. rips all my hair out I THINK hehe.. hehe... i think seto should go and date so many girls <3 (in a lesbian way. butch lesbian seto forever) he should go and have a few long term relationships during his life<3 but he never stops pining for mary. mary refusing to be the love of his life doesn't change that she is. they're still qpp<3 <3 <3 <3 sorry if this is incomprehensible
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| Reasons why I like SCC |
Starting this off with an explanation before anyone has the chance to say anything. Feel free to read these links explaining the trio's canon (or lack there of) relationship. (As of today's date, [07,01,2023). - Explanation from Nelnal (SCC character designer) - Explanation 1 | Explanation 2 With that out of the way, let's get going! First off, this is a hodgepodge of things from canon (gameplay), and things from Nelnal, plus my own perception of the trio. So, be warned in that regard!
1 | The Backstory for Their Creation: - I just find the fact that Toby originally wanted one shopkeeper and instead went with three because he loved them all so endearing. It's just genuinely such a cool and eat fact. I love that in another universe, there's only one… And we're the lucky universe that gets to have all~ three! - Quoted from Nintendo Everything, "I actually have another story about the musical shopkeepers. I asked a designer I love to design a musical enemy, and they gave me three samples. I liked all three of them, so I couldn’t settle on just one… so that’s how those three came to be" (Brian, 2021).
2 | They Robots: - I like robots. That is all I can say. Next. 3 | One of Them Green: - I like the color green. This is all. Next. 4 | Nakayoshi: - As seen in Nelnal's reference page, the word "なかよし" (nakayoshi) is written! This word translates to good friends, intimate friends, etc. I find this just really adorable. That the three are just the best of buddies. Inseparable pals. It's something that I hold dear to me. They just… auaughh… I love friendship. I love them. I love them being besties and so close that they go everywhere together, that they started a rebel band together. TOGETHER!! AUGH!! FRIENDSHIP!!! This also just makes me think of me and my qpp… We kiss and hug and go on dates… We say "I love you" and try to talk as much as we can. When we're together, it's like being home, being with someone who cares for me. And I can't help but look at SCC and see a QPR like that. Not romantic, not strictly platonic. Just… queer. And I love that so much.
5 | Tropes: - SCC have a lot of personality and physical traits that just match some of my favorite tropes ever. Height difference, opposites attract, friends to lovers, etc. You understand what I mean. It's just so cool that all my favorite tropes are bound up in this music trio! Like, how uber lucky?! 6 | Designs: - The way SCC are designed is just very appealing to look at. The spingly-spoingly arms of K_K… The oblong head of Cap'n's. And Sweet is. Cube. I just love how shaped they are! (The object heads are shaped)!! YAHOO!! Cakes is rectangular… Sweet is cubular… Cap'n is football. (You understand). I wish I could word this better, but in all honesty all I can say is I love how they look. They look so cool and robotic and I love robots, so ofc I love them. And I am probably one of the few that love that their teeth are buttons… 7 | Dialogue: - I really like how the dialogue in the game follows the band name. Sweet talks, then Cap'n, then (sometimes) Cakes. Plus! Sweet and Cap'n finish each other's sentences in the game all the time! I'm also really appreciative of just how much Sweet talks. If my mutuals and I did the math right… Sweet's dialogue takes up 36.5% of the overall dialogue for SCC. (Cap'n being 35.6% and Cakes talking 27.9% of the time). Plus, their hello/goodbye is so adorable. I quote this to myself all the time. Yo! What's up? Hey! See ya! Smell ya! Hear ya! 8 | SCC Color Scheme: - Depending on what color you see them as… I kinda go back and forth w/ Sweet between yellow and purple. But Cap'n's blue and Cakes is green, obviously. And if you see Sweet as yellow… yellow and blue make green. Kinda how Cakes looks up to Sweet and Cap'n. I know I'm reaching for this one, but this is my post about things I like, so this stays lmao.
#polyrhythm#sweet cap'n cakes#deltarune#deltarune chapter 2#capping the count off at 8 so I don't go too intense ya know#feel free to add more things you like or anything I missed!!#[r0b0.input]
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119, 136, 30, Annnnnd 13! (for the ask game!)
13. Do you like having your hair played with?
If it's brushed, I adore it! If it's tangled, I absolutely despise it. Because my scalp is very sensitive, I easily get aggressive and irritable if it's tugged by tangles because something something sensory issues. I've even slammed my own hand against a table a few times while brushing it bc it's that bad. But if it's brushed properly, I love letting those I'm close to run their fingers through it or play with it or stuff like that, it feels a little more intimate (nsx.) as well because of how terrible my sensory issues can be sometimes so like. Letting people touch it is like. Wow! I really like you and feel comfortable enough with you! Wow!!
30. Do you ever want to get married?
Absolutely yes!! Whether it's to a romantic partner or a queerplatonic one (there's this post in the queerplatonic tag that makes me tear up because it's of someone getting married to their qpp and it's so fucking sweet) the idea of being able to spend the rest of my life with someone and hold a celebration for it is one of my life goals, even. Have I really lived if I have not become someone's loving wifeguy/husbandgirl. I don't even care about the specifics too much, whether there'd be a ceremony or not and all the details about it can be decided when it's closer to becoming a reality, but for now the idea of it is something I hold dear to me and giggle about every few months or so.
119. Favorite book?
Ack I'm gonna look so illiterate or something here because I reaaally don't read enough to have a favorite book... Sobs a million times. I could probably look at my bookcase and pick one but I don't wanna go check so erm
136. Do you sleep with the door open or closed?
Closed! It's become a habit ever since my cats started really messing stuff up in my room, but now I'm just used to it and I like the added darkness and privacy it provides.
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20 Q's for Fic Writers
Another tag from @assorted-candy, thank you!
1. How many works do you have on Ao3?
193 as of now! Wow that's more than I thought I'd have.
2. What's your total Ao3 word count?
1,537,974! That's about what I expected actually xD
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Well I got dragged into the Danny Phantom fandom recently as I'm sure you all can tell. The show was actually a really big part of my childhood, but this is the first time I've been actively in the fandom, go figure! Of course I'm still in the Sanders Sides fandom, and I'm back once again in the Phineas and Ferb fandom, still chipping away at that long fic I've been working on for a while.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
These aren't too surprising to me, as they're also my fics with the most hits.
5. You Just Didn't Notice with 349 kudos (dear god please don't go find that one it's from so long ago I can't bear to look at it).
4. Warm with 356 kudos! I think this is the touch starved light sides au I wrote! Yeah I'm still fond of that one
3. By Any Other Name has 365 kudos! Still think fondly of my time writing that one, it was so fun.
2. Consequences with 420 kudos! Honestly I'm a little surprised this one is in my top 5 I guess a lot of people just really liked it.
Protector! Yeah, no surprises here. This one seriously blew up on me, it's got more hits than any other work I've ever posted on AO3. 504 kudos!
5. Do you respond to comments?
Sure do! I make an effort to respond to every single one I get if I can, unless I just cannot for the life of me think of anything to say. And I do read all of them, rest assured that even if all you get is a "Thank you!" that I loved and appreciated your comment, and that I mean those "Thank you"s every time.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Honestly, I'm not sure, most of my fics tend towards happier endings, even if the time before that sucks ass for everyone involved. I could pick any number of one shots from series, but I'm not sure those count as complete stories, since most of one shot series do actually tell a story. Oh you know what, I'm looking through my stuff and it's "Denied Reconciliation" for Roleslaying With Roman. Yeah nothing's getting better in that one.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
This might sound weird for anyone who's read the fic, but in my mind I think it might be Protector? I listen to "Carry On" by Fun whenever I think about the ending for that fic because it fits the vibe so well, and because that's what the ending is about. Everyone is going to move on and live their lives to the fullest. Not everything's going to be sunshine and rainbows, but the characters don't want that anyway. They get to work to fix things and they have a chance for a really good and full and fulfilling life coming for them. What's happier than that?
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Not really, actually, I'm very fortunate in that everyone seems to get that I'm just trying to share stories I love writing for fandoms and characters that I love. Thanks to all my readers, y'all are the best!
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Nope! Not necessarily because I'm completely opposed to the idea, I have technically written a couple makeout fics, but when it comes to smut I feel like I'm too ace to know what I'm doing xD
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
I don't, mostly just cause they don't scratch my brain in the way that inspires writing for me. I've read some really amazing ones and I definietly come up with some in my head from time to time, but I'm not sure I'll ever actually write one.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Thankfully no, or at least not that I know of.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Yep! I'm currently writing and co-posting Defense Mechanisms with VorpalGirl on AO3, and I brainstorm enough with her and with my QPP @mishiitake-mushrooms that I end up putting them in the author's notes with credit quite a bit, and in my mind, that counts!
14. What's your all-time favourite ship?
Honestly I don't ship nearly as much as I used to. This may be a bit of a cop-out answer, but I find myself getting way more invested in sibling dynamics lately. I'm loving writing about Phineas and Ferb and Candace in my long fic, and Danny and Jazz in my new AU. Even in Sanders Sides, I'm tending more towards Roman and Remus lately, and of course brotherly dukexiety will have my heart until the end of everything. If I had to pick one, it would probably honestly be Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice? Kind of an out of left field answer, but I love how much both of them change in the book and I love how their romance is handled. Jane Austen is good at romance, I know, hot take.
15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
I have a Light Side Virgil AU where Virgil was a light side from the start that I still absolutely love, but I'm not sure I'll finish at this point. I still want to, I've just got so much going on that it's going to be a while if I ever get to it.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Dialogue and plot! Sometimes I write what I jokingly refer to as my "stick two characters in a room together" fics where I do exactly that and just let them talk to each other. It's some of my favorite writing to do, actually. And I absolutely adore getting to plan and figure out plots and watch everything as it comes together as I write. Story epiphanies are the best.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
I struggle a bit with action scenes, since character and dialogue are my strong suit writing characters just doing a whole bunch of stuff is difficult (especially if it's a fight scene, woof.)
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
I am definitely not strong enough in any languages other than maybe French to pull it off, but I think it's really cool when people do it!
19. First fandom you wrote for?
My Little Pony Friendship is Magic. I was 12 no you can't see them.
20. Favorite fic you've written?
I'm not sure I have one, honestly? I have this thing that happens where I put all of my excitement and energy into whatever fic I'm currently writing xD
I do definitely have a couple that are very close to my heart for various reasons, though. Protector was my first fic that went over 100,000 words, and for that as well as numerous other reasons I'm very proud of it! Hope With Me turned out almost exactly how I pictured it in my head which is, like, crazy to me. I did a shit ton of math I'm really proud of for Three Minutes Less. I did coding for Seeking Advice. I wrote a bit about how I think aplatonicism would work in Friendship is Magic in Same Conclusion, which is the one MLP fic from me you get to see.
I don't know, I don't really want to name a favorite fic I've ever written, that takes away the possibility that I could still write it in the future! And yeah, I get the question is really asking "favorite fic so far," but... I don't know, I like too many of my fics for different reasons. I hope that's not too much of a cop-out answer.
Tagging @anxious-mess19, @sometimes-love-is-enough, and @prince-rowan-of-the-forest again, still no pressure!
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thoughts on utaren?
Dear anon, literally my first thought was "are you new here?" but then I realized that yeah okay fair I haven't posted about them in forever. you do need to have been there for a while to have known me during my nonstop utaren-posting phase
Short answer: there are 18 pages of posts tagged utaren on my blog, i think this speaks for itself (aka I love them, TG OTP)
Long answer: *stick figure violence* they mean so much to me
Retrospectively, this answer is not making any sense I'm just throwing thoughts around. Have fun, anon.
The thing with Utaren is that. they are so. so . They're best friends, okay. They know each other better than anyone but also they don't know each other at all and that's fucking poetic. They've been around each other for decades, they haven't seen each other in years. They can't live with the other, they can't live without him either.
If you want to know, back in. oh dear. back in the days of early :re publication (i read og around when :re was announced or something but i got "active" in fandom when :re was being published), I was Uta/Utaren posting and was arguing that Uta's tattoo talked about Renji, ya know, while anti-Utarens were arguing back that no it talked about the humans/ghouls relationship actually. Because I was so young back then with no concept of analysis, literary or not - despite the insane quantity of meta I read and my good grades in french/literature class - and also my english sucked wonderfully, I couldn't prove my point clearly. But anyways yearsss later I was proven right and this was maybe one of the best feelings I ever felt. When I say I'm always right this is what I mean.
So yeah I've been a shipper since forever.
The way I'll describe the way I see them depends on who I'm talking to, honestly, so take your pick.
With Utaren antis/deniers, they're my OTP. I ship them. They fuck on the regular. They try to kill each other before, during and after, it's part of the mating ritual. They've ruined my life enough I won't do in subtlety and won't go in deeper analysis. Leave me alone.
With Fellow Utaren Truthers, I'll say yes I ship them but I also see both of them as aspec, you know, I see Renji as arospec ace and Uta as either oriented aroace, either as alloaro, and thus this impacts the way I ship them, you know? I alternate between they're QPPs by the end of :re, they're FWB and they don't define their relationship/the way they're involved with each other (they have A Thing going on and who needs to know what that is apart from them, ya know)
With myself, they're friends. Their "we're friends" leitmotiv is. extremely important to me and that's what made me sooo involved with them in the first place, ya know? it's. so meaningful, both to them and to the story. to the fact they literally can't be together nor apart. They're friends. That's how they define what they have and who am I to tell them otherwise, you feel?
So yeah I ship them in all the ways above and probably more.
Also ya know this meta
And this fanfic
Speaking of which, I started a lot of utaren fanfics.. i never finished any because I really struggle writing relationships, especially when I'm not decided as to where I want them to go (see above the many different ways i ship them). RIP I guess
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[This is a copy + paste of a post I made from my other acct @r0b0-writes . But I literally made that post for things like this, so... !] Reasons Why YOU Should Vote SCC in the Throuple Tournament! 1 | The Backstory for Their Creation: - I just find the fact that Toby originally wanted one shopkeeper and instead went with three because he loved them all so endearing. It's just genuinely such a cool and eat fact. I love that in another universe, there's only one… And we're the lucky universe that gets to have all~ three! - Quoted from Nintendo Everything, "I actually have another story about the musical shopkeepers. I asked a designer I love to design a musical enemy, and they gave me three samples. I liked all three of them, so I couldn’t settle on just one… so that’s how those three came to be" (Brian, 2021).
2 | They Robots: - I like robots. That is all I can say. Next. 3 | One of Them Green: - I like the color green. This is all. Next. 4 | Nakayoshi: - As seen in Nelnal's reference page, the word "なかよし" (nakayoshi) is written! This word translates to good friends, intimate friends, etc. I find this just really adorable. That the three are just the best of buddies. Inseparable pals. It's something that I hold dear to me. They just… auaughh… I love friendship. I love them. I love them being besties and so close that they go everywhere together, that they started a rebel band together. TOGETHER!! AUGH!! FRIENDSHIP!!! This also just makes me think of me and my qpp… We kiss and hug and go on dates… We say "I love you" and try to talk as much as we can. When we're together, it's like being home, being with someone who cares for me. And I can't help but look at SCC and see a QPR like that. Not romantic, not strictly platonic. Just… queer. And I love that so much.
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5 | Tropes: - SCC have a lot of personality and physical traits that just match some of my favorite tropes ever. Height difference, opposites attract, friends to lovers, etc. You understand what I mean. It's just so cool that all my favorite tropes are bound up in this music trio! Like, how uber lucky?! 6 | Designs: - The way SCC are designed is just very appealing to look at. The spingly-spoingly arms of K_K… The oblong head of Cap'n's. And Sweet is. Cube. I just love how shaped they are! (The object heads are shaped)!! YAHOO!! Cakes is rectangular… Sweet is cubular… Cap'n is football. (You understand). I wish I could word this better, but in all honesty all I can say is I love how they look. They look so cool and robotic and I love robots, so ofc I love them. And I am probably one of the few that love that their teeth are buttons… 7 | Dialogue: - I really like how the dialogue in the game follows the band name. Sweet talks, then Cap'n, then (sometimes) Cakes. Plus! Sweet and Cap'n finish each other's sentences in the game all the time! I'm also really appreciative of just how much Sweet talks. If my mutuals and I did the math right… Sweet's dialogue takes up 36.5% of the overall dialogue for SCC. (Cap'n being 35.6% and Cakes talking 27.9% of the time). Plus, their hello/goodbye is so adorable. I quote this to myself all the time. Yo! What's up? Hey! See ya! Smell ya! Hear ya! 8 | SCC Color Scheme: - Depending on what color you see them as… I kinda go back and forth w/ Sweet between yellow and purple. But Cap'n's blue and Cakes is green, obviously. And if you see Sweet as yellow… yellow and blue make green. Kinda how Cakes looks up to Sweet and Cap'n. I know I'm reaching for this one, but this is my post about things I like, so this stays lmao.
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uhhh your uhh last post kinda hit bc I’m someone who used to ID as aro (I only ID as ace now), but I have a crush on my best friend who I spend multiple hours with every day. sometimes even 12 hours with them in a row. and next year we’re going to live together with two other friends. they’re aro and I would indeed appreciate a qpp… but I’m so scared telling them about my romantic feelings might make them uncomfortable, because for me romantic feelings are the same level of obsession I feel for tv shows and such. I like the idea of being partners in whatever way that could mean for them and I’d never ever wanna do something to make them uncomfortable… would you happen to have any advice for this… if not that’s quite alright
So I can only offer so much advice because everyone is different, but I would definitely recommend talking to them about your feelings! If you genuinely would be interested in a queerplatonic relationship with them instead of a romantic one, even with how you feel about them, that's completely fair and appropriate to share with someone.
The two things I would recommend emphasizing are:
1) That you really do mean that what's important to you is the idea of being partners in whatever way that means to them. I think that's a very nice way of putting it and centers their feelings as an important part of your query
and 2) That even if they don't want a queerplatonic relationship, you sharing this is mostly to be honest and find out their thoughts, and you still want to remain friends with them no matter the answer. It's entirely possible that, even if you do everything "right" and they see you as a very dear friend, they just might not be interested in a qp relationship (same as any kind of relationship). Or they might want to approach it differently. I know that I personally am in a committed friendship/relationship I tend not to always refer to as queerplatonic because I am also extremely romance-repulsed and find I often don't like being called a "partner" in any sense -- but even then, practically, it still looks like living with a friend in a committed situation we intend to continue for the rest of our lives
I can't predict how your friend will feel about all this, but conceptually at least, queerplatonic relationships are absolutely not just for aromantic people, and in fact are a great route to explore when two people with some kind of "mismatch" in orientation are still interested in committing to each other in important ways. Even if your friend wants something different, so long as you assure them this doesn't have to change things between you if they don't want it to and that you are genuinely interested in sharing whatever kind of relationship they would be comfortable for them (a friendship, a queerplatonic relationship, or something more complicated), asking to find out how they feel about the idea is still okay.
And it might make them a little uncomfortable! It might be kind of awkward! These things can be messy without anyone doing anything wrong. But it sounds like they are very important to you, and you care about them and your friendship in ways that can be preserved with careful and committed communication about what your friend is comfortable with. So long as you center that, that's the core of any good relationship.
I hope that helps some? Again, obviously I cannot speak for all aromantic people -- or for your friend specifically -- but these are at least my own thoughts as an aro person and ones that I find ring true in relationships of all kinds. People are complicated! Relationships are complicated! There are so many weird ins and outs and inbetweens to them, and the platonic/romantic binary that society tries so hard to enforce is impractical and inauthentic to many people's experiences. If you keep in mind that, and the fact that you love your friend no matter what, I bet you can navigate this.
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Here’s the list of characters I headcanon as aromantic/arospec. Yes I am aware that many of these may be me projecting but there’s not much aro rep so let me have this. Also these are just headcanons I enjoy, no stress if you don’t agree!
1. Loki
For me this headcanon works for both the mcu character and the agent of Asgard character, but in different ways.
Agent of Asgard because the only sort of relationship we see him in is in the weird plot when everyone’s personality switched and he and Amora called each other “dear” one time. I could be missing something but that’s all I remember. The lack of relationships for Loki in that comic is really the only thing going into this headcanon tbh. Also meeting his (heavily aroace coded) best friend at speed dating neither of them really wanted to be at is so amazing to me.
The Marvel Loki also works with this headcanon (yes, despite him and Sylvie) because I’m sorry but never having “real” feelings for anyone for literally around 2000 years is the most aromantic thing I have ever fucking heard. Also the fact that the first person he ever fell in love with is another version of himself also does not seem very allo. So at the very least he’s on the aromatic spectrum.
2. Mabel Pines
I am aware more people will probably disagree with this one but I actually have reasoning.
My favorite part of gravity falls was actually in the end credits. At one point there’s this Polaroid of a tree Mabel has evidently been carving hearts into for each relationship she’s had over the summer. All of the hearts are crossed out except one that says “MxM” . Which first of all made me cry and second of all to me says that, whether or not you headcanon her as aro, she learned to value herself over a relationship, and that she really only needs to take care of herself to be happy wich is an amazing message.
But I always read her need to find a relationship as internalized arophobia, because she realized she’d never had a real crush and felt a need to prove to herself that she could feel romantic love by rushing into a “summer romance” like ones in stories she’d read or seen on tv. Again this may be projecting because it’s similar to my experience but I recognized this with her and yeah at the end of the day it’s just a headcanon that makes me happy:)
3. Shoto Todoroki
He just...gives me the vibes. Like fr his disinterest in anyone has been used as a joke numerous times. I just don’t see him needing or wanting romance as part of his life and that’s totally fine!
4. Pidge Gunderson
It’s not just cuz they fit the color palette guys I swear
Fr tho they’ve always given me aroace energy even before I really knew what that was. I like to think that they and hunk eventually form a qpp when they’re a bit older.
5. Aizawa
Again, the v i b e s also the absolute deadpan rejection of joke time and time again speaks to some aroace coding he definitely has in my opinion.
And there you have it! I know some of these explanations were way longer than others but I’m just inconsistent that way, sorry! Hope anyone who read this enjoyed it and lemme know if you share any of the same headcanons!!
#aromatic#aroace#loki#arospec#mcu#marvel#mabel pines#gravity falls#mable#aromantic Loki#aromantic Mabel pines#todoroki#mha#aromantic todoroki#aromantic aizawa#aizawa shōta#bnha#pidge gunderson#vld#aromantic pidge#aromantic headcanons#fandom
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sorry this is such an annoying ask. i get rsd pretty bad (asd/adhd) even tho i like to think i dont actually get rsd. what i do is i avoid social situations completely, so i don't experience it as much. but lately ive rreally really really wanted to write again.
so i followed more spn blogs and interacted more... but simple interaction drives the rsd feelings WAY up, let alone sharing stuff ive written. like i feel crazy and really juvenile but basically any fandom interactions just make me feel awful.
do you ever feel like that? what do you do?
hello, dear, i'm sorry you're having to deal with all these struggles and painful feelings.
first of all, i think we need to start with a little radical acceptance. what you like to think doesn't help you. you have rsd and social anxiety, and you can't do anything to improve those problems until you've accepted the fact that they're real problems you have. you need to take a brutal look at yourself as you really are right now and say, okay, this is where i'm starting from.
next, yes, i have dealt with/do deal with rsd, and i know it sucks. my qpp of 15 years and i both have adhd and can set off each other's rsd, so i know what it's like from both sides.
this is the most important thing: just because you feel an emotion, even if it's an intense, overwhelming emotion, that doesn't mean that feeling is an accurate reflection of reality.
a lot of the time, your perception of a social situation is actually completely different from what the other person intended for you to perceive. they said something and meant one thing by it, and you heard it and interpreted the total opposite. i know that can be really hard to believe in the moment, but trust me; my qpp and i have had to work through several awful fights, and in the end it was usually a misunderstanding between what one of us meant and the other understood.
so when someone says or does something that feels hurtful, you've GOT to give them the benefit of the doubt. you have to say to yourself, maybe they're really tired, maybe they're really stressed out because of a personal problem, maybe they've had a shitty day and they're feeling grumpy, maybe they just completely forgot and it's not any deeper than that.
it's also super important to remind yourself that a most of the time, the way a person behaves towards you is about THEM, not about you. like, if you're polite to a polite person, they will probably be polite back, but if you're polite to a rude person, they're probably going to be rude back, right? their attitude is their problem, not yours. you can't 'nice' a rude person out of being a rude person.
on a smaller scale, this is important to remember because sometimes the people you're interacting with socially have bad moods and they have nothing to do with you. it's so easy to think "oh no they're mad at me, i've annoyed them, they hate me, i'm awful, i can't ever talk to them again" but you've gotta stop those thoughts and remind yourself that you're only getting the tip of the iceberg of this person, and you don't know what's going on in the rest of their life.
that person who didn't respond to your message probably didn't think "ugh this person is so annoying, i hate them." they probably thought "aw that's nice that someone sent me a message. i'll respond when i feel up to talking/when i have time." and then something else came up and they forgot.
maybe it sucks that they forgot to reply, but it wasn't something malicious, it wasn't because they hate you. everybody forgets to reply sometimes.
or maybe they're actually going through something horrible, like maybe one of their parents is in the hospital, or maybe they have an abusive spouse, or maybe they're working three jobs trying to pay rent. you have no idea, so it's for the best to allow for these possibilities.
and while i totally understand avoiding social situations, i think that avoiding them altogether probably doesn't help either, hon. because you get so sensitized to the slightest negative interaction, and you get accustomed to running away from that slight negative interaction, that it gets damn near impossible to grow and learn how to cope. i know it's scary and hard, but sometimes you have to slowly expose yourself to difficult things so you can figure out how to handle them.
i have a small rsd tag (and a social anxiety tag), and a quick google showed that there's a bunch of articles on rsd, such as this one, and it looks like there are a bunch of youtube videos about it too. i'd suggest you also look into things like dbt distress tolerance skills.
i've posted my writing, so i understand that terrified feeling. writing is hard, and posting it for others to read feels incredibly vulnerable. but it's a good thing to do, and i'm proud of you for working towards doing that. if you'd like any advice in that realm, always remember this: no writing is ever wasted.
you know how artists need to draw every day for years to draw beautifully? writers need to write regularly for years to write beautifully. it's not just a talent, it's a learned skill, and you learn by doing. the only reason that i can write a beautiful story today is because i've written hundreds of thousands of words for fifteen years, and honestly? most of it wasn't great. definitely not in the beginning. but if you want to write well, you have to write terribly at first. it's an integral part of the process, so please don't give up if you feel like your stories are shitty. always keep writing.
i hope that helps a little bit, sweetie. i know the path ahead seems daunting, but everything in life is about practice. just practice getting a tiny bit better, and then a tiny bit more. if you keep practicing, you will make progress, i promise. take care.
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Dear people who’s posts I’ve reblogged:
If I have reblogged your posts just know that it was so important or memorable to me that I not only wanted to have an easy way to reread it but I also show my partner all of the bullshit theories I read on Tumblr B)
(Love, if u see this on ur dash ily lmao <3 )
(Update: We’re not together anymore but I now I show my QPP the reblogs instead 💀💛)
(Double update: we’re dating and goign to move with each other in a year and a half 😇✨)
(Triple update: I spent a week at his house and went to Universal together. Best relationship ever, the Queer Platonic Relationship to almost three year long romantic relationship pipeline is crazy.)
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smitten
Summary: It had been a few months since Roman had fallen for Virgil. He’d come home to Patton that first day, waxing poetic, and come home much the same way every day since.
Pairing: Queerplatonic royality and romantic prinxiety!
A/N: I did create an entire AU around this with qpr sleepxiety and long-suffering-coworker-and-best-friend Logan Sanders but who knows if I’ll ever actually write anything else for it, hahah. Also this is a contribution to my aroace Patton agenda cause it’s a Good hc that we need more of, I think.
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"Oh, gosh, they were gorgeous again today, Pat!" Roman yelled upon flinging open the door to their apartment.
His qpp poked her head out of the kitchen, giving Roman a bright grin. They were donned in a bright blue apron, paw prints marked on the front with some fabric pens the two had bought a while back. "Oh?"
In an instant Roman was running up to her, pulling them into his arms and excitedly spinning her around the lounge to the sound of her giggles. Eventually, she was returned to solid ground, moving to pat down her apron with a sweet smile.
"What was it this time, then?" Patton asked, heading back into the kitchen with Roman trailing after them.
It had been a few months since Roman had fallen for Virgil, caught up in their snark and smirks and secret sweetness (and also a little bit in their iced-coffee-making skills). He'd come home that first day singing the praises of the cutest barista he'd ever seen and since then Roman had become a regular, always returning to their apartment after his classes with a lovesick smile and a pastry for Patton.
Roman sighed, the sound like the epitome of a daydream. "They had this lovely blouse on today, all black and sheer and delicate, like a spiderweb but infinitely more goth."
"More goth than a spiderweb, hmm?" Pat hummed, not really questioning Roman's words so much as prompting him to go on.
"Oh, and their eyes! How they lit up when their coworker made them laugh, I swear I have never beheld that level of beauty!" He paused for a moment, considering. "Except for you, of course, my dear."
In response, Patton just laughed, smacking Roman on the arm before turning back to the shopping list they'd been writing out.
"And the way they blush! Every time their cheeks darken I am overtaken."
Patton rolled her eyes fondly. "Overtaken, huh?"
Roman grinned at them, bright like jewels and other things nowhere near as precious. "Entirely, my love."
Things were quiet for a moment—but quiet in that way you can only be when you know each other so wholly and love each other just as much. Patton swung her way around the kitchen, pulling items from the cupboard as she checked what needed to be restocked while Roman watched with a look of utter adoration. Occasionally, Roman would grab their hand, pulling them into a spin before letting them carry on their way and each time Patton would laugh like it was the happiest day of their life.
Eventually, the list was completed and the two had wound down, taking up entwined positions on the couch. The TV was on in the background but neither were paying it much attention, focused instead on the way they fit together and the slow set of their breathing.
"Have you ever thought about asking them out?"
Roman spluttered for a moment, seemingly trying to come up with a reason for why he hadn't already that didn't simply boil down to "I'm excruciatingly afraid of rejection".
"You're not supposed to flirt with service workers while they're on the clock, Patton!" Roman declared loudly, "I wouldn't dream of putting them in the position of being unable to turn me down."
Patton rolled her eyes. "Love, that's a weak excuse and you know it. Logan has been trying to give you their number since the second you started going by the shop. Something about being sick of the pining, I think."
Roman mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like, "Oh, as if he can talk," but Pat decided to ignore it.
"I know you're worried about being turned down but you know you're not gonna be alone. I'm never gonna stop loving you. Not as long as there are stars in the sky, darling." Roman flushed at the words, ducking his head, and Patton grinned teasingly. "Every day the sun rises is another day I get a chance to love you with all that I am and I could never be more grateful for that."
Roman made a sort of high pitched squealing noise before ducking his head to hide in Patton's lap. "You're being mean."
Pat giggled. "Maybe I am but that doesn't mean I'm not also right."
Roman lifted his head, gazing up at his partner with a look that spoke of years of trust and emotional vulnerability—another gift Patton would spend the rest of her life cherishing.
"I know that I don't technically have anything to lose except access to some really good iced coffee but I just... I don't know. I keep thinking of all the ways it could go wrong."
Pat hummed, brushing a hand through Roman's hair. The action seemed to soften Roman, the corners of his lips quirking up into a soft smile.
"Okay, let's think about it this way. You like Virgil, yeah?"
Roman gave a decisive nod, his cheeks tinged a faint pink.
"So, you think they're a good person?"
He nodded again.
"Therefore, if they're a good person, they won't react negatively to you asking them out, even if they don't feel the same, right?"
There was another nod, this one marginally more hesitant than the last.
"And," Patton continued, "if they do react negatively, then they probably aren't actually a good person and their opinion doesn't matter anyway."
Roman screwed up his face a bit, seemingly thinking about that. Finally, he smiled—the expression more of a mask of confidence than a real expression of it.
"Ten out of ten logicing there. Logan would be proud."
Patton huffed a laugh. "Look, I'm not gonna pressure you but I think you should go for it. You deserve to be happy."
"I am happy," Roman protested instantly, "You make me-"
"I know, I know," they replied fondly. She cupped his face in her palm, smiling so sweet she could almost taste caramel in her mouth. "Even happier then—happier than any human being thought they could be. That's what you deserve."
"You too," Roman whispered back. His eyes had fallen shut with the sound and Patton's smile turned to an outright grin as their chest warmed.
"Oh, don't worry, honey. I'm already there."
taglist: @mutechild @super-magical-wizard @shadowsfromthesun @teadays @sandersships @camcam774 @autism-goblin @deadlyhuggles6 @romanthestarstruckqueer @whispers-stuff-in-your-ear @in-it-for-debussy @welpweregonnadie @hold-my-hat @koifishandcherryblossoms @stop-it-anxiety @figurative-falsehood @jadedfantasies231 @idosanderssidespromptssometimes @poisonedapples @sanders-screams @another-sandersidesblog @do-not-just-see-observe @harleyquinnamiright @localtransgrape @fandomsofrandom @gattonero17 @airiervessel @ollyollyoxinfree @tired-and-probably-crying .
#sanders sides#sanders sides fic#prinxiety#queerplatonic royality#royality#roman sanders#patton sanders#virgil sanders#logan is Mentioned#technically virgil is also only mentioned but they're mentioned So Much#aspec sides#lo can write#in theory only at this point#like I am capable of it but will I??? no. I'm playing animal crossing 😆#fem! patton
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“aching, shaking, breaking (like humans do)”
Summary: Remus thinks Hypnos has abandoned him for good (metaphorically speaking), Patton is there to help. (Sanders Sides, Gym Rat AU. One-shot. Ao3 link.)
Genres: Slice of Life, Hurt/Comfort, Sickfic
Characters: Patton and Remus centric. Logan, Virgil, and Roman mentioned.
Relationships: Intruality (platonic), Logicality (platonic), Background Intrulogical (platonic/ambiguous), Background Dukexiety (romantic/QPP), Background Moxiety (paternal/platonic)
Warnings: Remus angst, extreme insomnia, (unintentional) self-injury, medications, mental health issues, grim imagery, Remus Has Intrusive Thoughts, Remus Is A Mess, Patton Is A Good Friend, Interfaith Friendships, Implied (Extended) Family Problems
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Patton was pedaling on one of the exercise bikes, which was one of his favorite activities to do at the gym. Relatively low impact and he usually took a “something is better than nothing” approach to his routines nowadays. Just appreciating the people watching and socializing with his workout famILY.
That was odd.
Remus hadn’t been to the gym for the whole week. Even when the kiddo overdid it – usually he’s not out of commission this long for it. Unless-
Something hit him in the gut when he realized that. He stopped on his bike and immediately buzzed his number.
Ring.
Ring.
Nothing.
He could shoot him a text, but it was just not settling right with him. Logan had been doing one of his HIIT circuits on the bike next to him. He took a deep breath, gently tapping Logan’s shoulder. Despite Logan’s concentration, he desisted immediately, turning off his music to respond, “What is it?”
“Have you seen a certain Pottymouth at your work recently?”
Logan paused, with a look of concerned realization, “Come to think of it, no. No, I haven’t. Well, he was getting particularly erratic and called in sick… 3 days ago.”
“I think I should go check in on him. My Other Son’s been swamped with work lately, sooo…”
If Logan was perfectly honest, it was often confusing when Patton referred to half their crew as his son, “Other son? Did you mean Virgil?”
Patton nodded.
“Probably prudent. Unfortunately, no one can stand in for me at the firm tonight. And. You’re better at the… emotions stuff.”
“I appreciate the vote of confidence! Hopefully I’m just worried for nothing.”
Patton rose up from his bike and was about to leave with his things. Logan smiled faintly, “Hey, if you would, could you tell me how he’s doing when you find out?”
Patton smiled back, a little forced if he was honest, “I’ll make sure to have him tell you that himself!”
-
It wasn’t a very far trip across the city to get to Remus’s apartment complex from the gym.
Once Patton parked his car and took another deep breath, he stepped out toward it.
After getting buzzed in and jogging up a couple flights of stairs, thanking his stars for basic training, he was at the door in a jiffy.
Patton wasn’t in the business, but he was reminded of the time Remus was raising heck to get Unit 404 from this building. He remembered seeing Logan trying desperately not to laugh when he heard about it.
He knew to knock to the phrase “Shave and a Haircut”, to alert Remus. He drummed out a few calls, waiting for Remus to make a sound on the other side, hoping he would.
It was a thing in their group, ever since they all watched “Roger Rabbit” together for a movie night, years ago.
Once. Twice. Thrice…
Patton heard the sound of chaotic crashing noises and an off-script, but still in the right cadence, “Fuck OFF!”
“Remus!? Kiddo, it’s me. I wanted to check on you!”
He heard some stumbling noises and a hoarse, “P-padre?”
“Can I come in?”
There was a dramatically loud sigh before the door was unlatched, unlocked, and open.
“Thanks- oh.”
Patton wasn’t exactly sure what he was expecting, but Remus looked even more harried than he usually was. The darkness around his eyes even more pronounced, his face was so drained. His makeup smudged, tear-streaked, and hanging on for dear life. His gaze wild and jumpy. Remus didn’t do much more than stand in the living room, staring at Patton once he entered.
Patton saw that Remus had knocked over one of his glass cabinets. He noticed Remus looked pretty scratched up and was bleeding in places, mostly his hands and knuckles.
Patton furrowed his brow, asking mostly to avoid presumptions, “How are you feeling?”
Remus sounded breathless too, “What does it fucking… look like!?”
Patton paused and looked around some more, there was a lot of trash strewn about the floor. Granted there usually was, Remus would just call it “organized chaos”. But Patton did note that there was an alarming number of energy drink cans piled around a hopelessly full trash bin. Monsters, NOS, Red Bulls, 5 Hours, yerba mate, the works.
Patton slumped a little bit in worry, “Not exactly peachy keen, I take it?”
Patton had a hunch that Remus was screaming not that long ago, based on just how raw his voice sounded, “No SHIT!”
“Um, would you like to sit down for a bit? It might help to talk it out.”
“Can’t.”
“Too restless, huh?”
“Yeah.”
At that point Remus was mindlessly digging his fingernails into his arm. Patton winced a little and decided to ask, “Can I take care of those injuries, at least? I just want to make sure they don’t get-”
Remus glanced at but barely registered the wounds, “Infected?”
“Yeah.”
“F-first aid kit’s in the bathroom. Not like it matters. It would be just my luck to have a brown recluse bite or resistant staph or necrotizing fasciitis. You know where shit rots and liquefies and you get all septic?! Imagine the SMELL.”
Patton slowly worked his way to the bathroom to get the kit, not taking his eyes away from Remus, “Well, if it looks like it’ll be that way, I WILL be taking your butt to the ER.”
Remus didn’t seem to register that, droning on, “Oh. What if I lose a finger? Or several! Or my entire hands! Everybody says I might die of a heart attack before I hit 30? My ticker feels like it’s going to EXPLODE, Teddy Roosevelt. Imagine a live grenade strapped to it – BOOM. Sounds like fun.”
Patton flinched, thinking that was to get a rise out of him, “Kiddo, I think that’s the opposite of fun.”
Remus weakly laughed, pointing at his chest thoughtlessly, “Better than worrying about cancer or some shit!”
Eventually Patton had to break line of sight to grab the kit, but he kept talking, “When… when did you last get some sleep?”
There was a pause that made Patton’s own heart ache a little bit. Remus muttered after some hemming and hawing, “Uh… 3? 4? 4 days ago? I think. I don’t even fucking know.”
Patton took a moment to look over the medicine cabinet while he was there. Just to see if Remus had anything that could help him get much needed snooze time. There was a bottle of trazodone, mostly full, Benedryl, also mostly full… no suspiciously empty bottles of anything around. So that was a hopeful sign.
“Would you mind if I asked you to take something to help you sleep? After I patch you up?”
“You remember that story where a whole batch of Tylenol was tampered with and killed like seven whole people?”
“… I’ll ask again a little later, then.”
Patton returned to the living room, kit in hand, both relieved and disconcerted about Remus just standing in the same spot he was in. His hands were clenching and unclenching, like he was fighting to stay awake even longer. “Okay, it would be easier on both of us if you sat down while I dress those wounds.”
Remus didn’t move, so Patton tried to gently nudge this poor kid toward the sofa anyways. Thankfully, he didn’t resist at all. Patton noticed just how wobbly a gait he had in that short distance. Once seated, Patton also saw that both his knees were scuffed. Patton winced, imagining that he took at least a few falls very recently.
Without prompting, Remus whined, “Everything hurts, Padre.”
“Well, going without sleep as long as you have can give you a bad case of the body aches. Seen some of my old combat buddies deal with that on our worst deployments…”
Patton started to wipe down Remus’s knuckles first with some cotton balls and alcohol. He just wanted to get a better sense of how deep these cuts were. He was relieved that they were surprisingly shallow, “I think these will only need some simple bandages and antibiotic cream… but I’m definitely going to check on you later, to see how your hands are doing.”
Remus nodded, and started to blather a bit again, “I feel like Hypnos himself has forsaken me. A curse! A bane! Pat? Is his brother going to come for me? Am I going to ride down Styx and meet the big H himself?”
“… you’re not going to die, if I can help it. I swear to God Himself.”
“Gross.”
Patton sometimes forgot that their positions of faith were so far removed. But that didn’t dissuade him from caring a lot. He hated seeing his friend suffering so much. He took another breath, and addressed the gouges and cuts in Remus’s arms. They were rough, probably unintentionally from his own hands. He approached those similarly. “You feeling any sleepier, yet?”
“Mmm… no.”
Remus looked like he was about to pass out, Patton was reasonably sure just the fact he was seated and getting some TLC helped push him closer to shutting his eyes. “Well. I’m going to hang around for a few, just to make sure you’re alright, okay? Mind if I turn on the TV?”
Remus started to slur his speech considerably, “Knock yourself out, Holy Ghost.”
Patton thinly smiled about the blasphemous sentiment, but he shook that off, it didn’t matter really. He was just glad to see Remus doze off like he desperately needed it.
Patton decided to tune into Nickelodeon and watch some cartoon reruns, eventually hearing some loud snoring coming from Remus. Patton sighed and smiled at the sight.
-
“Oh GEEZ, Patton. Were you – were you here all night?”
Patton blinked awake from the shouting and looked outside to see it was bright out, “I-I guess I was?”
Virgil was there to see his boyfriend sleeping like the dead and Patton next to him.
“Logan told me to check on Remus and I just got back here. And-”
“Remus is going to be okay, I think. Do you have any idea what may’ve started this episode?”
Virgil sat down on the recliner nearby and looked tired but contemplative.
“His “family” tried contacting him. All I know was it devolving into a messy fight and it rattled him. He… stubbornly didn’t want to talk about it.”
Patton understood what he meant at this point.
The only blood relative Remus had anything nice to say about was Roman. Someone who should probably know what happened, if he wasn’t already aware.
All to address later, once Remus recovered a little more.
Patton ran his fingers through Remus’s greasy hair. Not the most pleasant, but he hoped it helped to soothe him as he continued to slumber.
Virgil smiled at both of them, his own concern never quite gone, “Thanks for this, Pop Star.”
#spilled musing#sanders sides#remus sanders#patton sanders#logan sanders#virgil sanders#roman sanders#(yes - give both the twins a drabble in crisis)#(patton's here mincing his oaths whilst remus is swearing like a sailor... pffft )#(patton used to be a combat medic in this AU - so like. he's seen some shit but is still v caring)#gymrat au
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