#they are there for each transfer and their numbers only grow the closer you get towards the venue

[whatsnewalycat]

Secret Admirer

Javier Peña x f!Reader - Explicit (18+ only)

Summary: It's Valentine's Day. Which means it's time to take a chance on your workplace crush, Agent Javier Peña.

Word Count: 3.7k+

Warnings: Season 1 (ish), US Embassy, yearning, secret admirer, confrontation, drinking and smoking (real brief), smut, protected PIV sex, dash of angst and fluff

A/N: Yeeehaw, this was written for a valentines day exchange SOOOO Happy Valentine's Day to @typingcorgi 💌 This one is for you, I hope you like it!!!

The papers cradled in your arm dig into the sticky crease of your elbow. Your fingertips part the thick stack of faxes and run along the crisp edge of an envelope hidden inside. A bass drum starts thudding in your chest and heat creeps up your neck. 

One last peek over your shoulder at the empty, sterile mailroom gives you permission to do it. You slip the red envelope out from its hiding place and shove it into the cubby labeled JAVIER PEÑA. 

The shuffle of approaching footsteps sends your heart into an outright sprint. 

You scurry over to the fax machine and pinch the paperclip from the first fax, then slide the papers into the tray. As you punch the outgoing fax number into the machine, the footfalls grow closer, and soon start thudding against the shiny white linoleum of the mailroom. 

The low rumble of conversation between two men grows more distinct. You recognize their voices, but keep your eyes glued to the papers being sucked through the gears of the fax machine. 

“We’re gonna get a bottle of wine, candlelit dinner, put on some Marvin Gaye to set the mood,” Steve Murphy says, “Should probably get some flowers for her or somethin’, huh?” 

Javier Peña hums in response. 

They make their way over to the mailboxes. You stand there and try to blend into your surroundings as you wait for a fax receipt. The sound of them sorting the contents of their mail makes your stomach churn. 

“What’s that?” Steve asks as they start to walk away. 

“Let’s see,” Javier murmurs, then his footsteps come to a halt as he opens the envelope and he hums with curiosity. 

Steve stops, too, then chuckles, “Is that a fucking valentine?”

“Looks like it,” Javier mumbles, then directs his voice at you and says your name. 

You stop breathing and clench your eyes shut, then open them and turn around, trying your best to keep your face neutral, “What?” 

He holds up the unsealed red envelope and its folded up white contents between two fingers, “Did you see who left this?” 

You meet his dark brown eyes for a few devastating moments before dropping your gaze to the stack of faxes in your white-knuckle grip. All the moisture from your mouth evaporates. You clear your throat and shake your head, “No, sorry. I just got here.” 

“A secret admirer?” Murphy’s lips curl into an amused grin and he raises an eyebrow at Javier. 

You take another quick glance at the duo and realize Javier is narrowing his eyes at you, jaw working back and forth in subtle movements. Your skin burns and twists under his examination. 

He breaks his laser focus and looks to Steve with a shrug, “Guess so.” 

The fax machine roars to life behind you and starts printing. You spin on your heel towards the noise, and the men start off the way they came. Your hands are shaking when you go to grab the confirmation. 

—

The clack clack clack of your typewriter ricochets through the empty halls of the United States Embassy. Although you can’t see it from your desk, you know the sun outside is sinking below the horizon and giving way to the inky black of nighttime. 

Without Ambassador Noonan there to pull you into meetings for transcription, or assign you urgent outgoing faxes, or ask you to run any other number of errands she deems important, you’re able to perform the more “menial” of your clerical work. You sift through the stacks of papers at the corner of your desk, each one containing hurried handwriting scrawled by Noonan or one of her many Agents, trying to decipher their contents and transfer them into a more legible print. 

Footsteps sound from down the hall, but you’re too busy squinting at a puzzling clusterfuck of scribbles to pay it any mind. It’s not until your desk creaks under the weight of Javier leaning back against it that you notice he’s there.

With a jump, you clutch your blouse over your pounding heart and gasp, “Jesus fu—Hi, Agent Peña.” 

He comes to rest just inches away from your chair, arms crossed over his chest as he frowns down at you. Dangling between two of his knuckles is the red envelope you left in his mailbox earlier. Adrenaline pumps thick and hot through your veins. 

Your hands feel numb as you meet his gaze and manage to ask, “Can I help you with something?”

His jaw cocks to the side and he raises an eyebrow at you, then tosses the red envelope onto your desk, “What’s this?” 

“I—I—” you shake your head and widen your eyes, glancing between him and the letter. 

“Don’t play dumb,” he interjects. 

You swallow hard and hold your eyes steady on his as they bore into you. It’s a standoff. You don’t even dare to breathe. The silence is deafening. 

Javier breaks it as he clears his throat and picks the creamy white paper up off your desk, then unfolds it. Your stomach drops to the floor. 

He reads it aloud in a gravelly purr: 

“Oh, how I long to devour you. To unhinge my jaw And swallow you whole.  Do you feel it too?  Do you ache with hunger when I’m near? When I meet your starving eyes, I know.”

Your eyes stay trained on his as he peers over the paper at you like he expects you to say something. But you don’t. Your skin buzzes electric when he rolls his tongue against his pouty lips, along the edge of his dark mustache, then drags his gaze down the length of you. 

Javier sets the paper back onto your desk, taking a look around before he leans in and murmurs, “I do. I know.”

Then he digs into the pocket of his tan suit pocket and takes out a folded slip of paper. He pulls it away just as you go to reach for it. When your fingers curl back and you blink up at him in question, he searches your face, “This stays between us, ok?” 

“Of course,” you nod. 

His throat rumbles, eyes flick down to your lips for a moment, then he extends the paper to you again. This time when you go to take it, he lets it slide out from between his fingers into yours. 

“Come by when you’re done here,” he says, more of a demand than a request. 

“I will,” you try to suppress the grin stretching across your lips. 

Javier taps two fingers against your desk, then pushes off it and saunters back down the hallway, giving you a quick backwards glance before turning the corner. 

You look around to make sure no one is watching, then unfold the note, revealing an address written in his angular, messy script. Below this, it reads: 

Starved. 

—

Your knuckles rap two quick knocks against the door before Javier swings it open. His darkened gaze slides down your body like molasses as he steps back and lets you enter the apartment. The scent of his cologne wafts into your nose as you pass him. It’s light and crisp, clean smelling, contrasting his whiskey breath. 

You slide out of your heels and set your purse onto the ground, then study the dwelling with curiosity, dropping down two steps into the living room on your way to a leather couch. The walls are painted a cream color, pastel green and pink spliced here and there. It doesn’t seem to represent Javier at all. You figure the apartment was furnished by the Embassy, like yours. Cigarette smoke hangs in the air like a dense fog. It’s tediously quiet. 

“Can I get you a drink?” he asks, striding over to a stand-alone dry bar, which hosts a variety of amber colored liquors. 

“Sure,” you answer as you sit down on the couch, smoothing out the black dress you changed into before walking over here. 

Javier doesn’t ask what you want to drink. He just pours two glasses of whiskey and hands one to you while he lowers himself onto the other end of the loveseat. 

Which, it’s a loveseat, so he’s still intimidatingly close. 

“Thanks,” you mumble, then swallow a mouthful of the alcohol, wincing at the burn as it travels down your throat. 

It’s not until now you realize you’ve never been alone with him. You’ve only experienced his intensity from afar. The way his eyes linger on you, seeming to study you when he thinks you won’t notice. 

But you’ve noticed. 

And you like it. 

You’ve been careful to only leave hints of your wanting. Flicking your gaze to his when you feel it on your skin. Holding it there until your heart starts pounding and one of you looks away. Letting your body brush against him in passing. No words spoken, only heated eye contact and near-touching. Following an acute awareness of the way you’re drawn to him, how fervently your blood courses through your veins when he’s near, how his presence seems to tug at the edges of you. 

“Did you write that yourself?” he inquires now. You take another sip and look up at him, meeting his eyes. 

It’s unbearable. Yet, you don’t want it to stop. Like magnets are buried beneath your skin and his, opposite poles, aching to meet in equilibrium. 

“I did,” you admit quietly, then tilt your head at him with curiosity, “Did you like it?” 

He hums and nods, glancing down at your mouth, “I’ve been watching you. I see the way you look at me.” 

“I know,” you respond in a whisper. The confession sends your heart racing… but you feel emboldened. You tip the glass to your lips and let the remaining whiskey slide down your throat, then lean forward to set the empty cup on his coffee table and scoot closer to him as you settle back into the couch. 

Javier sits up to place his drink on the table, and when he returns, he’s only inches away. He brings his breath to your ear and murmurs, “You like it, don’t you? The attention?” 

“Yes,” you answer. His hand rests on your knee, a branding iron that heats your core and steals the air from your lungs. 

“Teasing me with those short skirts,” he travels up your thigh, letting his rough palm drag along your skin. The touch sends a shock wave of pleasure across your body. 

You whimper and your eyes flutter shut. 

His voice lowers to a rasp, “Staring at me with those fuck-me-eyes. You think I wouldn’t know it was you?”

He stops at the crease of your thigh and grips the tender flesh, pulling a wanton moan from your throat as your head falls back against the couch. 

“Look at me,” he demands, so your eyes blink open and you meet his heated, meticulous gaze, “Do you want this?”

“I want this,” you nod, bringing a hand to his cheek, working your thumb against the grain of his stubble. He studies your face, dropping his eyes to your mouth, kneading your thigh, drawing closer. 

You succumb to his beckoning lips, capturing them in a kiss. Fire sparks in your chest and spreads through your veins like wildfire, spreading to him as your tongues meet, rolling soft and wet, whiskey harsh on your shared breath. 

Then he’s on you all at once. 

Pushing your back flush to the couch cushions, rocking his hand against the seam of your panties, sliding the thin straps of your dress off your shoulders, liquefying your insides into molten need. He rids you of the red lace thong, tossing it on the floor while your trembling fingers unfasten the buttons of his shirt. You splay your fingers across his chest and slip the shirt off his shoulders. It joins your abandoned lingerie, followed by your dress, then his pants. 

Javier pauses to study your naked body, lust-blown eyes trailing along every inch of your exposed skin, hands dragging up your legs. You examine him, too. His smooth, bronzed skin. His broad shoulders. His lean frame. His swollen, needy cock. 

“You’re so fucking sexy,” you breathe, reaching out to him, rolling your hips against nothing, aching with lust. 

Your compliment pulls a rumble from his throat, then he returns to your body, to your lips. His warmth sends shockwaves down your spine. You arch your back into the sensation, drinking up every ounce of heat your thirsty skin can lap up. 

When he touches the slick pool between the legs, spreading your arousal up and down your slit, you both moan into the other’s mouth, and he pants, “So fucking wet.”

You slide your hands around his shoulders, whimpering, nodding, reveling in the exquisite heat stoked at your center, urging him to continue with a breathy moan, “Don’t stop—fuck, that’s so good—”

He groans and captures your lips in his, kissing you hard, messy, working you faster, and the flames licking your insides continue to grow hotter, breaking you out into a sweat, making you gasp and moan against his mouth, eyes fluttering shut and it’s just this aching, heated bliss building at the base of your spine, and your pleas for him not to stop, and his skin on yours, his mouth planting wet kisses down your jaw, your neck, his moans of secondhand pleasure vibrating down your middle, fueling this brilliant concentrated ball of fire burning a hole inside you until you reach the edge of something and push past it.

Ecstasy washes over your body and steals the air from your lungs. You release a shattered breath and start to free fall, but his touch doesn’t relent, and your body shakes with pleasure that’s too intense to bear, legs clamping shut around his arm as you start to whimper at the stimulation. 

Javier pulls back when your legs go jelly, his chest heaving, eyes wild and black and glued to yours. His pink tongue rolls against his lips, then they pout out into an O when he drags his fingers through your release. Your hips jerk at the jolt of his touch, heavy eyelids fluttering as you moan, and he smirks, “Wanna move this to the bedroom?” 

You bite down on the pillowy flesh of your bottom lip as your gaze drops to his engorged length, and you manage to respond, “Uh-huh.”

He stands and starts towards his bedroom. You follow him on wobbly legs, head swimming, ears buzzing. 

Just like the common areas of his apartment, his room is decorated tastefully and obviously courtesy of the Embassy. It’s surprisingly neat, though, the dark walnut chest of drawers cleared of clutter and personal effects, hardwood floor unencumbered by piles of dirty laundry, dark walnut four-post bed dressed with white linens. Based on the constant state of disarray his desk is in, you expected it to be messier, and wonder if he cleaned up for you. 

Javier strides over to a side table and pulls a condom out of its drawer. While he wraps himself up, you settle at the edge of his bed, legs dangling off the side as your eyes trail down his shoulders, his arms, the defined muscles of his back, swallowing hard when he turns to face you. 

He takes the two short steps to settle his hips between your knees and hums, bringing a hand to your chin, tilting your head up towards him as he presses his forehead to yours and purrs, “Is this what you wanted, sweetheart? Hmm? For me to fuck you?” 

“Yes,” you whisper, linking your hands at the nape of his neck, pulling him closer, feeling his breath puff hot against your mouth, grip on your chin tightening.

His lips find yours and he kisses you slowly, deliberately, with a tender sort of reverence that tightens around your skin and makes you whimper. The noise spurs something inside him. He cups your cheeks and picks up speed, climbing onto the bed, pushing you onto your back. 

It completely consumes you, the way his mouth works against yours, the way you writhe against each other, touch roaming, both of you tugging and rubbing and digging your fingers in and moaning at the fire blazing between your sweaty bodies. 

When the head of his cock nudges against your entrance, you wrap your legs around his back and arch against him, panting, “Fuck yes, give it to me.”

He stares down at you, holding your gaze as he plunges forward, working you open, and both your faces contort with pleasure. 

“Fuuuck,” he groans as he starts to rut into you at a steady pace. Every single nerve ending he rubs against buzzes with ecstasy. 

Your fingers tangle in his hair and you pull him closer, pressing your lips to his, immersing yourself in a series of messy, frantic kisses, swallowing each other's moans, working your bodies in tandem to fuel the hungry flames. You start to roll your hips against his thrusts, each one accumulating hot and gooey and tingling, tugging at the edges of you as you whimper, “Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck—” 

“That’s it, baby,” Javier pants, his voice jumping in time with his hips as he drives into you, “So fucking good—feel so fucking good—” 

He kisses you then, and his eager lips, his soft tongue, the scent of whiskey on his breath, the burn of his mustache scratching your skin, the blissful ache of him stretching you again and again, it fully engulfs your body, like you’re melting together, the heat between you too great, the fire too intense to remain whole because this glowing molten core is growing wider and hotter with each moan, each touch, each thrust, and you beg Javier not to stop, fuck, don’t fucking stop, and he steals the words from your mouth with his own, fucking you hard and fast just like you knew he would, pushing you closer and closer to bliss, and then you reach it.

For one second, you’re suspended right at the edge, mind blank, body humming. Then it hits you, and it hits you fucking hard, euphoria breaking you into pieces and tearing a sob from your throat. Javier’s hips stutter as your muscles tense and your pussy convulses around him. He gasps against your mouth, then shudders as he finds his release. Both of your bodies slow their pace, cooling to a crawl, then a stop. 

The sound of your labored breaths fills the bedroom, heaving chests working against each other as sanity starts to return and your bodies struggle to recover. He rolls off of you and stretches out across his bed, inhaling deep and wide, exhaling a content hum. 

Then, without a word, he gets up and leaves the room. 

Your guts twist into a knot. It should give you whiplash, how fast you go from total satisfaction to nervous wreck. 

Since moving to Colombia for this job, sex has been a rare occurrence for you. And by that, you mean… it doesn’t happen. Even before the move, a series of long-term relationships have been your only claim to sexual experience. So this situation is uncharted territory. 

But you’re pretty sure this is your cue to get the fuck out. 

While staring at the ceiling, you kick yourself for giving him the note, for putting yourself in this position. Shame simmers hot under your skin when you try to imagine what it’ll be like the next time you see Javier at work. When you’ll both know what happened here tonight, but pretend it was nothing. 

Why do you have to feel this burning desire for someone like him? For someone so intimidating and closed off? And, more perplexing still, does he feel it for you? 

Your chest and throat tighten when it dawns on you that he probably doesn’t feel the same as you. Maybe he saw an opportunity to get laid and took it. Maybe… it was nothing to him. 

You sit up and scoot to the edge of the bed, peering out the bedroom door a moment before hopping down and padding across the hardwood floor into the living room. 

He’s doing something in the kitchen, so you fold your arms in front of your body and make your way over to the couch, snatching your clothes off the ground before you sit and start to get dressed. 

As you pull your dress down over your head, he returns to the living room. He’s wearing jeans now, but remains shirtless, and a lit cigarette dangles from his lips. 

You glance up at him and mutter, “Sorry, I can get out of your hair. Thank you for, um… indulging me.”

He plops down next to you and crushes the burning ember of his cigarette into a glass ashtray on the coffee table, then leans back and extends his arm along the couch behind you, frowning, “You’re leaving?”

“I—I guess, right?” you turn and search his face, meeting his eyes that are all puppy dog soft. They tug at your heartstrings, but you continue to stammer onward, “That’s—I don’t know, that’s what I’m supposed to do, right?” 

“If that’s what you want,” he shrugs, dropping his gaze to your lips. 

While you stare at him and try to understand what the fuck that means, he leans close, brushing his hand against your cheek, “Or, you could stay… we can ‘indulge’ ourselves again.”

“Is that what you want?” you ask in an attempt to parse out his intentions. 

“Is that what you want?” he counters in a low voice, furrowing his brow. 

You bite down on your bottom lip and nod, then blink and shrug, “I mean, if that’s what you—”

His lips cut you off before you can embarrass yourself more.

—

You woke up with the sun. Javier was still holding you close, his shallow, dream-drenched breath spreading across the nape of your neck in soft puffs. You wriggled out of bed and collected your things, then walked the city block to your apartment and got ready for work. 

The day passes by like any other, with the exception of your strained muscles making every movement more difficult. You don’t cross paths with Javier, but when you return to your desk after lunch, there’s a red envelope sticking out of your typewriter. 

You take a cursory glance around, then pluck it out and open it. A smile spreads across your face when you read the note inside. 

Roses are red  Violets are blue  Come over tonight  I want to see you XO, Your Secret Admirer

[flirtysimlish]

Werewolf Holidays

Hello again all! It's been a hot minute since the last time I made any holiday templates for my calendar. I've been playing hardcore lately and got inspired by my gameplay to make a calendar, customs and lore for Werewolf sims. Please use these as inspiration for your own games as much as you wish :) In my sims' world, The Moonwood Collective and the Wildfangs celebrate holidays in ways that reflect their pack ideals. Not only that, but the Wildfangs are exclusively aged late teen and up so they tend to have a wilder approach to things.

The explanations for each holiday and customs are below the cut:

~ Spring ~ Replacements for Love Day

Bonding Ritual - The Moodwood Collective

Spring brings life and renewal and the Moonwood Collective honors the goddess of the Moon by letting nature take its course. Werewolf sims should get romantic with their partners and get a little frisky. Typically, members of the Moonwood Collective tend to see their families increase in number after this holiday ;) This holiday pairs very well with the Free Love N.A.P and adds another layer to your werewolf community.

Art & Music Spirit

Give Flowers

Go on a date

Romantic Spirit

Full Moon Chase - The Wildfangs

The Wildfangs aren't as interested in procreating as the Moonwood Collective, but they still have that animalistic instinct. These werewolf sims celebrate Spring in a different way. Gather your werewolf pack and get ready to chase the moon...and some tail. Werewolf sims should get pumped with their pack and run through the wilderness at full speed. This rush of adrenaline and living free will bring your sim closer to their pack members, and maybe really close if they can sneak off to that bush over there.

Exercise

Romantic Spirit

Go on a date

Streaking

~ Summer ~

Lupine Outreach - The Moonwood Collective

Summer is the perfect time to work on Werewolf Diplomacy. The Moonwood Collective will travel to Granite Falls in an effort to raise werewolf awareness and visit their sister tribe. This is a time of merriment as werewolf members will eat, drink and intermingle with all sorts of sims. This is also the perfect time for teen werewolves to break away from their pack and transfer to the sister branches and explore new territory.

Bake

Go on a Vacation or Travel

Art & Music Spirit

Fire

Water Fun

The Gathering - The Wildfangs

As temps rise, the Wildfangs tend to get a little...heated. Summertime means that the Wildfangs will hold a gathering for their pack and what ensues can only be described as the biggest rager in all of Moonwood Mill. Werewolf sims will party their hairy behinds off, pick fights and play pranks on one another, all in comradery of course. The Gathering is also an important ritual for the Wildfangs as it is the only time that a pack member may challenge the Alpha for leadership. Win or lose, the party afterwards will always be legendary! This holiday goes well with the Roughousing Encouraged N.A.P to add detail to your werewolf community and reduce negative effects.

Air Grievances

Drinking

Party Spirit

Fighting

Mischief Spirit

~ Fall ~ Replacement for Harvestfest

Harvest Moon - The Moodwood Collective

The last harvest of the season brings great joy to the Moonwood Collective. This signals the end of their growing season and to celebrate they throw a huge feast! The pack Alpha brings everyone around the Star Tree and tells the story of their origins and Werewolf creation. This feast lasts late into the night and when the moon finally rises to the very top, the Moonwood Collective make their way to the mountain peak and howl to the Moon goddess to show their thanks for the bounty.

Thankful Spirit

Gardening

Invite Guests

Grand Meal

Tell Stories

The Wild Hunt - The WildFangs

The Wildfangs deeply respect the Wild Hunt as an initiation ritual. Teen werewolves that are close to aging up may be brought in by older members and must attempt to gain membership by completing the 3 trials. Once completed the Wildfangs will celebrate with a pack hunt, the first of many for the new Pup level werewolves.

Bar-B-Que

Fire

Party Spirit

Drinking

~ Winter ~ Replacement for Winterfest and New Year's Eve

Frosty Paws - The Moonwood Collective

Ironically, the werewolf members of the Moonwood Collective don't believe in a mythical man who brings you presents. Instead, they tend to enjoy the company of those around them and love to give rather than receive. Tradition dictates that all gifts must be handmade and the Moonwood Collective isn't short on talented members. The Wildfangs on the other hand typically doesn't like to celebrate Frosty Paws. The cold temps of winter really put a damper on their moods, so they bunker down and enjoy some cozy solitude.

Decorate

Festive Spirit

Give Gifts

Grand Meal

Festive Lighting

Somber Howl - Both Packs

The end of Winter is a time to reflect on the past year and those that aren't with us anymore. Both packs honor this holiday as the grim reaper doesn't discriminate and pain is shared on both sides. During Somber Howl, the werewolf packs will gather and tell stories about lost loved ones, visit with their ghosts, and make resolutions (usually to better themselves the next year).

Remembrance

Tell Stories

Spooky Spirit

Make Resolutions

Countdown to Midnight

[risingshards]

I've been hovering around a subscriber number and it's been going up and down a bit and cuz it went down a chunk today I'm a lil anxious, I worry about everything constantly so this probably isn't a big deal, but instead of dwelling on it I'm gonna try and self promote and maybe overcome this subscriber hurdle! So Self Promo Saturday in addition to Storyteller Saturday? Is that a thing already?

Anyways, if you've followed me for a while you've probably seen me talk about my main series, Rising Shards!

Rising Shards is my passion project, a super long web novel that updates Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. It's always tough for me to explain it, but in short it's part fantasy series, part slice of life, part comedy, part adventure, part romance. It's got a huge cast of characters that a vast majority of are queer!

What's life like in a world where monster folks called Cani are as normal as rainy days? What's it like to juggle learning how to use your powers on fantasy adventures with taking tests and giving speeches in class? How about balancing having crushes and getting over breakups with growing tails or having full on werewolf moments? That's what Zeta Faleur, a trans girl getting over a bad breakup, has to do when her fangs come in and she has to go to a Cani school.

Other main characters have to deal with similar issues as well. Zeta's best friend Oka, a kindhearted girl with a troubled upbringing struggles to fit in at school, gets her first crush around the same time she gets her first role in a school play. Kalei, a snarky gamer jock, begins to find her own identity and all the angst and joy that comes with it. Lillia, a by the books honor student, goes through as many crushes as she gets good grades, but what happens when someone finally likes her back? Longtime friends Aira and Laenie face off with the prospect of drifting apart, while similarly close besties Iris and Maia deal with getting closer. Marmalade, a trans girl who is a late transfer to Rising Shards, strains with self doubt and acceptance. Roux goes on a gender focused journey and finds confidence in themselves. Zeta's older sister Stella starts crushing on Zeta's teacher, Dr. Evy Diast, but are there sparks between them? (given that these two also have an 18+ side series which can be read here, the answer is probably yes).

And that's just a chunk of the characters, yes there are somehow more, including wizards, pop stars, goofy principals, princesses, wannabe hall monitors, filming experts, coffee lovers, gambling obsessed gremlins, mean girls, exes, and enemies! I love stories with a huge cast of characters and actually spent time in college getting my writing degree writing essays about series that juggle tons and tons of characters. For the others, you'll have to read the series to meet them! :)

If the length of the series is intimidating (understandable!), I like to think of it like a TV show or a long manga or light novel series. It may be a ton of chapters and words and such, but they're split up into episodes and seasons, so each chunk of episodes is a complete little arc like a TV episode, and each season completes a big story. With such a huge cast and the way I pace the story, I try to use the space I have to the fullest to spend lots and lots of time with the characters.

If you wanna check the series out, it'd mean the world to me. And big bonus if you subscribe as well. :) If Tapas isn't your jam, Rising Shards is also available on Scribble Hub!

Art for Rising Shards is done by the wonderful Flopicas!

[cosmictuesdays]

📓

I’ll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven’t written but daydream about.

Hawkins, Indiana! A gem of American small towns. A good place to live, raise a family, not get into too much trouble. The main employers are the local government and the public school system; its attractions include the well-zoned downtown area, the Fourth of July festival, and the nearby military base.

It's no secret. Everyone knows about it. The base is several miles out of town - a short drive, a decent bike ride, a long walk. It's one of the country's smaller army bases, as these things go: mostly, it's a regional basic training center, and only dates back to the mid-sixties. You've got recruits, you've got officers, you've got staff. You've got people who go there to train and people who go there for assignments and people who live there year-round. A sizable number of the people who live there year-round are married and raise children. Because it's as far out of town as it is, the kids who live on the base just go to school there. The class sizes are smaller, and the education is slightly varied from what the kids get in the town's public schools.

The man in charge of their education is one doctor Sam Owens.

It's not all the children he takes a particular interest in, only a few - and you'd have to look closely to put together the kids he takes a particular interest in are all in blended families, their parents all remarried after divorces or deaths - though if you ask, he'll happily go on about how he genuinely enjoys the work of educational administration. Seeing all these young people with such different personalities and abilities grow and develop.

Everyone knows there's kids who live on base. People come into town on evenings and weekends to see a movie, have a beer, get some air. Kids get taken into town with their parents to have a meal at the diner, go swimming at the pool. Kids from the base meet the kids from the town, and there's friendliness, but no real mixing. Not when it's such an effort to keep the friendships going when there's that much physical distance between them - and, to be honest, a bit of a culture shift. The base's brats are all friends with each other, with Dr. Owens having no tolerance for bullies.

The previous man in charge of the children's education lasted about six weeks before being transferred to a less people-oriented position, much higher in management and far removed from the day-to-day work of dealing with the practicalities. The arrangement gives Dr. Owens a little more freedom.

The arrangement gives the kids homes to live in and parents who love them.

The arrangement has the kids knowing exactly where and when certain actions are appropriate, and under what circumstances they're allowed conditional permission.

One of the base officers, James Hopper, is from Hawkins, and didn't request the transfer. He was told where to go, and he went. He was told about his duty to the country, and he fulfills it. He's a loving husband and a caring father. He'll sometimes take a weekend's leave to the house he keeps out in the woods, spend some time by himself, get some perspective.

Sometimes he brings his daughter Jane along. Not her mother - the two of them don't even sleep in the same bedroom, let alone the same bed. They're on good terms, happy in the arrangement, and there's some weekends it's nice to not pretend.

Jane doesn't think much of this - a bunch of her friends' parents don't sleep in the same room, either. She always likes those weekends, because her dad's always made sure she understands she doesn't need conditional permission when they're out there. It's okay. He knows she knows how to do things safely. He's seen her demonstrate why Dr. Owens takes an interest in her education over some of the other officer's kids.

The house is a little closer to town than the base, and those weekends usually begin with an afternoon getting groceries and, if they got an early start, hanging out with the local kids.

The base's brats are all friends to each other, and misfits when it comes to the town's social scene.

Which doesn't stop friendships between townies and base brats from forming.

It's just a little harder, is all.

[randomestfandoms-ocs]

Any Richie and his aunt/uncle/various family headcanons from his crossover list? 🥺👀

(it took so much restraint to not just make a giant list of Kirsty headcanons but all of these are with the vague hc that the twins share a universe because I can't separate them)

Annabel (shit she needs a new last name now that she's Hope's granddaughter 😅)

Richie finds out that they're related on his first day at Yale, they're in the same class and a professor goes "oh, you must be Richard and Emily's niece" and Richie's brain explodes

Things would definitely be very tense and awkward for a while but then I feel like they'd get along

Charles

Delicate-verse, Charles is a very good uncle and decides not to tell Richie that he's definitely slept with his boyfriends before

Richie asks Lottie if they can designate a room for Charles/if he can maybe move in

He goes to all of Charles' plays and is one of the first people to read his scripts

Charles is one of the first people that he comes out to because he knows that Charles is also queer

Charles loves yelling at Charleston for the twins

Charles also always went to New York with Kirsty and Emily for Christmas, s1 he shows up the first day of christmas break (the year Emily decides she's not going anymore) and asks if the twins are ready to go

When Richie decides to start spicing up his wardrobe, Charles insists on taking him on a Gilmore Boys shopping spree in New York and insists on paying for all of it

Charles punches Christopher for the twins at least once

Charles has a separate phone line in his room so at the last Christmas pre-twins-at-chilton, he gave them both that number so they could talk without their parents knowing?

He's also the first person to know about Kirsty's party year (sorry to steal your moment Troy but maybe at The Party, he found Kirsty and freaked out a bit that his little niece was there and so fucked up so called Richie and then drove her home himself?

"Accidentally" spills wine on Francine and Straub during the Hayden dinner, and on Christopher and Emily at the debutante ball

Richie isn’t really sure what to make of Charles when they start seeing each other more often; the Charles that he saw at Christmas every year and the Charles he sees at school and Friday Night Dinners are very different people

Charles loves to kidnap the twins to go on trips with him

(baby Charlotte is named after Lottie but also Charles?)

When Richard has his heart attack in s1, Richie insists on bringing Charles back to the Donahue house with he and Kirsty and the three of them end up all falling asleep in a pile on Kirsty's bed

Dani

I feel like Dani and Richie & Kirsty have probably always been a bit closer than Dani and Rory (Rory loves her aunt and they get along well but they never quite Click™ in large part because of Lorelai being weird about Dani all the time)

Richie has sometimes suspected that Dani isn’t his aunt for a while because he picks up on all the weirdness but at the same time he’s like “no but mom would have said something… right??”

but anyways so I feel like growing up they probably got along well but only saw each other a few times a year! 

Dani is a year ahead of them at Chilton and is so protective when they transfer

And once the “holy shit wait” reveal happens, I think they’d get closer! 

I can see Richie being the one to try to reach out and make sure that she knows that no matter what’s up with the whole family drama, she’s his sister and he loves her! 

And like I def think that they’d get closer over the seasons, but idk I feel like they’d start off close as aunt/nephew, stumble a bit over being siblings, and then become best friends!

Before Dani moves in with Luke, Richie asks Lottie if she could stay with them for a while because she needs to be away from Emily

Ilsa

jock siblings jock siblings jock siblings

Ilsa's love of sports is definitely influenced by Richie, and even for sports that he doesn't play, he always helps her prepare for tryouts

In her canon her coaches all call her Danes because they used to be Luke's coaches, but in crossovers they all call her Gilmore because of Richie

Ilsa feels like she's letting down Richie & Kirsty when she decides on going to Harvard and just gets the most proud, supportive big sibling speech instead

Aside from post-S2, whenever Richie and Kirsty are spending a weekend or a break or the summer in New York, they always bring Ilsa with them

Luke put bunk beds in Ilsa's room since she mostly lives with him and he wanted to make sure that Richie and Kirsty could stay with her

Either Kirsty or Richie has a trundle bed so they can pull it out and have a bed for Ilsa when she wants to stay at Lorelai's house, and then they either have the same at Lottie's or Lottie designates a specific guest room for her

One of Richie's biggest pre-Chilton issues with Emily (aside from the Kirsty stuff) is how awful she's always been to Ilsa — crossover Ilsa's relationship with her wouldn't improve as much as it does solo verse but Richie still at least appreciates that she finally started trying to be better

Emily offers to pay for Ilsa to go to Chilton, Richie talks to all of the sports coaches about scholarship possibilities and then helps Ilsa apply for them so that Emily won't have control over her the way she does the rest of them

Richie is the first person to know that Ilsa wants to be a writer and the first person to read everything she writes

(bonus: Ilsa-crossover, Victoria's name is Victoria Ilsa instead of Victoria Patty?)

Jocelyn

Jocelyn isn't super present in their lives but they do visit her in California every summer

Once she moves to New York, she invites the kids to visit more often

If/when she learns about the party year and how they celebrate Kirsty's sobriety, she would also help with getting them really good and discounted (or free, depending on the show) tickets to shows

Either Jocelyn is already out to Richie, or she comes out to him after hearing about the Hayden dinner

(makes sure he knows that she loves him and that even though she doesn't have much relationship with their family, her apartment is always a safe space for him if he needs it)

Lili

Not super close growing up (I feel like Kirsty & Lili would be a very weird vibe and Richie is just protective of Kirsty) but when she gets sent to Stars Hollow High, Richie makes sure to still introduce her to all of his friends and show her around town a bit

has a lot lot lot of concerns about her wild child nature because of Kirsty's party year

I don't have a lot of thoughts here yet but I feel like they'd be fun

Lorrie (ft Jamey)

BEST BROTHER RICHIE!!!!  

Richie is so excited to have a new baby sister even though he and Lorelai don't actually talk

he and Kirsty replace the jess & rory group chat with her that’s entirely dedicated to “mom and dad/mom and grandma are fighting again pls pick me up”

Lorrie has a room in the New York apartment, in each of their New Haven apartments, when FirstHusbands get their own apartment in New York, and in the white house, and Richie always drops everything to pick her up from stars hollow

Also listen Richie is 20 years older than her, you know that he regularly gets mistaken for her dad!!

But seriously Lorrie would absolutely idolize Richie and Richie would be the world’s softest big brother! 

And maybe when he finds out that there’s going to be another Lorelai, he’s the one who suggests calling her Lorrie

one of the rare times he talks to Lorelai (especially in s7) is to yell at her about abandoning Lorrie to marry Christopher

Richie tries to make it to as many of Lorrie's competitions & dance shows as he possibly can

He's always so supportive of her interests and like with Ilsa, always helps her prepare for sports tryouts

Kirsty & Richie were both there for her first crawling, first words, and first steps but Lorelai wasn't

Lorrie thinks that Richie is the coolest person ever she's obsessed

Lucas

I don't have as much for them because we talk about them more 😅

They've never been Richie-Kirsty close but they've definitely always been close

Richie is loyal to Luke's but when he doesn't want to deal with Lorelai, he'll hang out at Weston's while Lucas is working

he and Kirsty are the first people that Lucas and Willow talk to when they inherit Weston's & the Dragonfly

Lucas goes to every sports game to cheer for Richie (bonus that Kirsty & Willow are cheerleaders together? 🥺)

Richie (and Kirsty) has always had a standing invitation to sleepover at Willow's whenever they need it

Lucas ends up with his own room at Lottie's but the invitation is extended to Willow too

Lucas is the first person other than Richie (and maybe Luke?) to drive the truck

Lucas is the only other person that Richie and Kirsty will let in the kitchen when one of them is cooking/baking and they're the only non-Willow people that he'll let in the kitchen when he is

Lucas is in the same quad as Richie at Yale

Lucas is more likely to eat Rory & Lorelai's junk food than Richie and Kirsty, but most of the time still chooses to have dinner with the two of them instead

When Lucas is in Hep Alien briefly, Richie and Kirsty go to all of their concerts (if he's ever in another band, they'd go to all of those concerts too)

Pippi

Richie goes to all of her soccer games

I don't know enough about her to have a lot of vibes yet

but also Richie will absolutely fight Emily anytime she blames Pippi for Christopher leaving the second time

Preston

Like Jocelyn, if/when he learns about the party year and how they celebrate Kirsty's sobriety, he would also help with getting them really good and discounted (or free, depending on the show) tickets to shows

As soon as he finds out about the party year he offers to pay for rehab if Kirsty needs it, and for therapy for both of them

He's one of the first people that Richie comes out to (Richie & Kirsty know he's bi and also know that Emily still doesn't know, so he feels safe)

Preston surprises them by completely redecorating one of his guest rooms to be a room for them

Along with spoiling them on birthdays/christmas, Preston always gets them each a train voucher each year (birthday & christmas) so that if they need to get to him/New York in an emergency, they can (in a non-emergency he'd tell them to call him and he'd sort out the tickets right away)

Lottie is also there of course but he helps them move into Yale (maybe stuck around in Hartford for the summer to help out with Kirsty & the babies and offered then)

Offers to pay their tuition without hesitation (and for Chilton so that they aren't under Emily's control)

Can't make it to all of Richie's games or Kirsty's recitals/competitions but tries to make it to the big ones

In the post S2 summer, Kirsty didn't reach out to Preston because she was embarrassed by how much she was struggling, but Richie gets him involved? He goes to every medical appointment, pays for all of it, half moves into the apartment to take care of Kirsty, and makes sure that on top of Kirsty calling Richie every day, he does too to update him on everything health wise

Tommy

Tommy absolutely doesn't understand Richie's whole jock thing but still goes to his games

Richie is usually one of the first people to hear the band's new music

...I need to figure out more about Tommy

[transformhim]

gonna commit to writing a few shorties, just to get myself back into the swing of it 🫠

I finally came to, unblinking but definitely conscious, looking face up at a whole lot of ass.

Wait… My ass..?

“Whassup, Donovan?” I heard my deep voice say. My body scratched its head right before it turned around to face me, noticeably hard as a rock.

“What a trip, huh?” My body continued with a cheeky chuckle, said with the same perky cadence as my roommate, Jiao.

Fucking Jiao, I knew it! He’s always been into freaky shit and always ogled at me. Always with the homo shit, too... He orders shit online like money meant nothing to him, and... sure, I’ll admit that I’ve taken one or two things from his boxes when they’ve arrived in the mail, but only because I’m sure with his family money he wouldn’t be missing a lot. And so what? His designer clothes looked better on me anyways, especially how they hugged my frame due to his much smaller size. I thought that’s what the box on the coffee table contained when I opened it up this morning... some more of his hundred dollar clothing to add to my growing collection... but apparently not. I can only remember opening the box and... my fingers barely grazing whatever it was that was inside... and then nothing. Apparently, something much stranger was going on. I couldn’t move my head, I couldn’t move my lips, I couldn’t do anything. I was fucking paralyzed.

“Weird, huh?” He continued as I blasted through hundreds of obscenities and insults, each of them blazing through my head with red-hot fury but none of them able to come out of my mouth. “For a first-time transference? It’s… Whoo, boy, it’s a doozy. Feeling stiff? Feeling confused? It’s natural, don’t worry. But… Jesus, FUCK boy, your bod is fuckin’ TIGHT!” He said, shaking out my large arm muscles and reaching down to pick me up with a giggle.

He picked me up with incredible ease, as if I weighed nothing at all. I felt my fingers curl around me snugly, turning me over this way and that in the palm of my hand. What in the fuck was going on?? Why was I fitting around in his hand like a doll??

“Let’s take you on a little tour, hmm?” He grinned down at me. He hummed in my booming baritone as we walked towards the hallway to our rooms. Jiao stopped in front of the door to his own room and turned the handle. “And behind door number one...”

He opened the door to reveal his own body... Was it sleeping? Entranced? It certainly wasn’t moving, same stiff-as-a-board, lifeless state as I was currently in.

“Look familiar? I’ll just keep hanging out there until you and I are done here. But now... Ready to see the big reveal?” He grinned back down at me with that same knowing, dickish smirk. He walked towards his bathroom and I could see the reflection of my body walk into the mirror with that tall, glidy strut Jiao always had, but I couldn’t see my own reflection. Looking closely, I could see that he was holding.. some kind of action figure in his hand? Or was it a toy? But with that pink, pearlescent silicone, it looked like it could only be—

OH MY GOD.

“Love this new look of yours, by the way,” Jiao laughed out with a deep boom as he wiggled around the shiny, pink dildo between his fingers. As he wiggled, my vision went to and fro with the wiggle of the dildo. That FUCKING FAIRY turned me into one of his dildos!!

“Don’t worry though, babe, you’ll get back this sweet deliciousness,” he cooed, running a hand down my firm, hard-earned physique. ‘Babe,’ I hated when he called me that. “But first… we have a lot to do together.” He brought me up face-level to him, my own face staring back at me with giant-sized proportions.

“Oh man, you and I are about to get so much closer,” a slurred with a horny grin. He brought me closer to my own face and kissed around me with my soft, pillowy lips. After a few more kisses around the entirety of my new form, he paused for a moment but then rolled my massive tongue out to guide me into his mouth. I could see and feel the dark, warm, wet, fleshiness of the inside of my mouth around my body as he welcomed the top part of my new form into his mouth. He pulled me out with a strong exhale, a giant webby trail of his saliva tracing his mouth to me. He stared at me with this carnal, drunken look in his eyes—my eyes. Like a lion looking at meat.

‘Oh fuck,’ I thought, knowing if my eyes could roll they would.

“Oh fuck,” Jiao repeated hoarsely as if he heard me, fishing my rigid, fat cock out of my briefs, tugging it greedily and intensely as he opened his mouth wide open, plunging me deep into his throat.

As I felt the slick expanse of my new form slide deeply in and out of the fleshy, dark cavern of his mouth, I could feel a whirlwind of sensations. I felt his tongue lap hungrily around my form. I felt the vacuum-like suction of his mouth and throat pull my slightly stretchy form longer and thinner as I felt more of myself slide down his throat. I felt the booming vibrations of his ecstatic moans pulse through me.

He mouth-fucked himself with me for a while until he seemed to be getting close. At which point, he quickly pulled me out of his mouth and lowered me down to his crotch. There, he placed my new form right next to my body’s shaft—a hot, thick, veiny shaft, if I say so myself, though I’d never thought I’d be this close to it—and began to pump me and his shaft together with two hands. With a few more moaning, piston-like tugs, I came face to face with my own giant-sized cock head erupting a pressurized geyser of jizz into the air, spraying out in thick, spurting ropes and dousing the bathroom mirror with noisy splats. His hips seized with jerking thrusts as the last of it seeped out of him, with much of the residual creamy remains coating the entire side of my new form up against his shaft.

With heaving breaths of air, he lifted me up higher again until I was face level with him, widening his mouth open and extending his tongue out, bringing all of me into his mouth one last time with a final greedy suck. He tightened his lips around me as he pulled me out, making sure to ingest every little drop of spooge that found its way onto my body.

“Fuck you taste good,” he smiled with more heaving pants. “Well, not you you, that just tastes like silicone and chemicals… but your baby batter? Dude, I could bottle it up and chug it.” He winked as he pulled my briefs up over my deflating tool.

“Good thing I got that out of the way, too, it’ll make me last much longer,” he reasoned as he stepped out of the bathroom and out of the door towards my own bedroom. “Oh yeah, don’t think this is all over, gotta make back all that money you stole from me over the years. I couldn’t think of a better way!”

He walked into the bedroom and slapped me down onto the low dresser I kept in my room with the suction cup on the base of my form. As I waggled lazily in my upright position, I saw him saunter over to my desktop, waking up my monitor and finding his way online.

I could see over his—my—bulging shoulders that he’d made an OnlyFans account… but using my pics, my likeness, my name, my everything. He’d been planning this for a while, that conniving fucker… He opened the webcam, went live on the account, hit record, and gave a little welcoming speech to his new subscribers. As he talked, I could see him flexing different parts of my body, flaunting my muscles. He lied over and over again about his gym routine and his favorite muscle groups to work, flashing peeks and flexes for his eager fans. Watching him, pretending like he was me, like this was the real me doing something so flashy, so revealing… it made my blood boil.

“Why don’t I just give you people what you came for?” He finally interjected during the middle of his welcome. He slowly lowered the briefs he was wearing, and slowly, eventually revealed my thick cock and balls—still slick and shiny with our session not 5 minutes earlier—to the rest of the world, swinging them around and playing with him like they were his. Standing naked in front of the camera, he did little poses with soft groans between flexes, working my body like he’d always been in it. I could see the firm contours of my ass from my vantage point and wished more than anything that I could do something about my situation.

“Pretty fuckin’ big, right?” He asked the camera, swinging my pre-leaking rod. Goddamn it, I hated him. “But I wanna play with something else today.”

He went off camera for a second, slipping quickly into his room before he came back with a bottle of something. I watched him pound the bottle into my palm, my chest jiggling with the motion, as he opened the cap and squirted something into his palm. He walked over to me and lifted me off the dresser, my suction cup loudly detaching from the wood top. He ran his other hand up and down my form, and I could feel the slick, sticky, jelly-like substance in his hand lather me up from top to bottom. Of course, he squirted a little more and spread his cheeks for the camera, I’m assuming to surround his hole with some lube too, and crawled on top of my bed.

He groaned as he positioned himself downward, extending my firm, round ass into the air, resting on my thick thighs, and looked into the camera with a sly, sexy grin.

“I hope you guys like this as much as I do!”

He lifted me up behind him until I was head-on with my own spread cheeks, my ass hair looking lubed-up and sort of welcoming from this angle. Well, I suppose there wasn’t any fighting it at this point.

He pressed me against my own hole, and I could feel the tight muscles around the rim and the warm walls of my ass surrounding me. Finally, he exhaled and my hole widened enough for him to plunge me in, immediately feeling the tight, moist walls inside my hole surrounding me.

Last thing I remember as I swung in a piston motion in and out of my own virgin hole was the loud, ecstatic, mumbled moans of my own body from outside, relishing every second.

[winter-soldier-vibes]

just a wittle request, could you do something where bucky comforts the reader who has mommy issues after she has a panic attack over the thought of turning out like her mother?

Hi there, sorry this took so long! I still haven’t processed my own so I had to take a few breaks. I apologize if this is off the path of what you meant, I’m going off of my own experience but I know it’s different for everyone.

You're nothing like her.

Bucky x reader

Word count: 3219

Warnings: mommy issues, toxic childhood, talk of divorce, panic attack/anxiety, negative self-talk

A/N: This takes place in a timeline where Bucky is retired

-------------

You did everything you could to avoid it. To avoid her

You left home as soon as you could. When you were in college you were surrounded by people who were homesick, people who wanted to go home, people who finally had to take care of themselves. Things you couldn’t relate to.

You had been supporting yourself most of your life. Not that you had much of a choice. Your dad left when you were younger, your mother blaming it on you. If you had been better, maybe he wouldn’t have left. You, being young, believed her. What else were you supposed to do, growing up in a world that preaches ‘mother knows best’?

Load of bullshit to you.

You knew better now, being an adult, that she didn’t know best. She worked or went out with friends and left you to raise yourself, telling you it was your fault when she neglected her responsibilities. And when you would get upset she would play the victim, crying ‘woe is me’ because you were so ungrateful to the person who raised you after you drove her husband out.

“You know it’s your fault right?” she had snapped at you one night at dinner. There was a graded paper, a B written on the top of it.

“What?”

“You’re the reason he left me. He just couldn’t stand you. You’re the reason why he left and why I’m so miserable now.”

You had felt tears in your eyes.

“Tears, really? Tears aren't going to change the fact that MY husband LEFT.”

Her husband, not your father.

No, you knew better now to know that what she had done and said was wrong. But that didn’t make you forget. It didn’t make it any easier for you.

You went to college, saved up as much as you could, and gave tight-lipped smiles when people asked why you didn’t go home on weekends or vacations. You tried not to talk about her much, but that didn’t stop you from thinking about her.

You had stood at your college graduation, caps thrown and loud laughs and cheers echoing around. There were a bunch of people celebrating around you, taking photos, but you had stood on the outskirts. You had a small smile on your face for everyone else, but you couldn’t help but feel empty inside. You hadn’t made many friends, not close friends, but that was a good thing. You could take the photo so no one was left out.

Not so much of a text from her. She hadn’t come, she hadn’t called or anything.

In a twisted way, you were glad that she hadn’t. She couldn’t make a big deal about how you weren’t the top of your class or how you didn’t deserve to be. How you didn’t have a job set up to start the next week even though you already were planning on submitting your resumes. There wasn’t a way to please her, so it was almost better that she wasn’t there.

You had texted her after a few days and she made up some bullshit excuse that she had forgotten to put it on the calendar.

She liked your Instagram photo though. So thoughtful

You worried you would turn out the same way. Or that she had rubbed off on you in some way. You kept to yourself as much as you could, staying in, keeping your emotions to yourself. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust people, maybe it was, but more so you were worried that you would seem like you were playing the victim.

You didn’t want to bother anyone or make anyone feel obligated to listen to you. You worried that behind your back they would complain about you being emotional or making everything about you.

You worried they would talk about you the same way you thought about your mother.

People are supposed to look to their parents to teach them what to be, yet you found yourself wanting to avoid everything your parents did to you. They taught you exactly who you didn’t want to be.

Your father left. Your mother hated you.

You didn’t share your opinions because you didn’t want to be told you were wrong. You didn’t want to force your ideas onto anyone. Not like what you said would make a difference anyway, not that it mattered in the first place.

You remembered all of the sentences you would start but not finish because no one had heard you. Trying to jump in a few times and eventually giving up when the conversation had moved onto a new subject. All the times people would interrupt or interject, making you feel like you didn’t have something to say that was worth hearing.

You thought it would get better when you got a job. But the pressure you put on yourself to do well in school was transferred to the job you had gotten. You still were afraid that people saw yourself as your mom used to and that you would never be good enough for anyone. You thought that achievements would make you feel fulfilled.

But if you didn’t believe in yourself, what were a few “job well done's” supposed to do?

It made it hard to get into a relationship. People say that “you have to love yourself before you can love someone else,” but that didn’t feel so true to you. It was more that you didn’t trust yourself to love someone else. You worried about hurting whoever you were with, and you told yourself that if you didn’t get close to anyone, you couldn’t hurt them.

But then you ran into him.

He was on a morning run and you were walking home from a night shift, both too tired to see each other coming. You because you had just finished a shift, him because he was running off the nightmare he had had the night previous. Both of you craving a sleep that seemed just out of reach.

You were very apologetic, as was he, both afraid that you had hurt the other. You avoided his eyes even though they were trained anywhere but your own, as he fiddled with his gloved hands and you scratched the back of your neck.

It was the first time either of you had seen someone as unsure as yourselves

You had parted ways with only each other's names. Bucky and y/n.

The two of you crossed paths a few times in the following weeks, eventually getting each other’s phone numbers and agreeing to meet for coffee rather than hoping the other left at the right time. Eventually, the subtle nervous tics each of you had died down as you got to know each other.

For the most part.

You still overly apologized for everything. If you were a few minutes late, if you spaced out...you took the blame for everything.

Traffic had been bad, a storm and an accident causing you to be 5 minutes late rather than 15 minutes early. You had run into the coffee shop, scanning the restaurant with wide eyes when you saw Bucky sitting there casually.

“I am so so so sorry, I should’ve left earlier, there was an accident, I’m so sorry I’m late -”

“Y/n, don’t worry about it,” he had said, a smile on his face and a slight flash of concern on his face. “Seriously, it’s a couple of minutes. It’s literally fine.”

“No, I’m really sorry, I should’ve known or called or something.”

“Relax. It’s totally fine, I promise,” he had said, concern a little more present on his face. “Are you okay though?”

“What? Yeah, I’m good. How have you been with everything?

You wouldn’t let him talk about you. The same way your mother never let you talk about yourself.

Don’t think about her.

He had started opening up to you but you still kept your personal life under lock and key. Your name, how work was, and your physical well-being was about as personal as you got. Even so, if work had been a shit show or you had to pull an all-nighter would go unspoken. He didn’t need the burden of your personal issues. Not when there was nothing he could do about it.

The past was the past, you just had to learn how to get over yourself.

You couldn’t change what your mother had said over a decade ago.

You worried if you talked about yourself at all then you would be making the situation about you. You worried you would project your anger or sadness onto him. He didn’t deserve that. Plus, it wasn’t like he would be able to do anything, right?

You promised yourself you wouldn’t let him get too close. That if he didn’t get close to you, you couldn’t hurt him.

But damn, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t start developing feelings for him. And from the way he had started acting, you thought maybe he was too.

The hugs that were ever so slightly too tight or when he smiled at you a little longer than normal. He had opened up to you about many things in his past, and from the way he talked about it, you could tell he hadn’t talked about it much with anyone else.

You found comfort in your friendship, the way he trusted you. You liked being there for him, and you were honored that he trusted you enough to open up to you. Yet it also made you uneasy that you would ruin it in some way or drive him out.

The same way your mom drove out your father.

Goddamn it don’t think about her.

The closer you got and the closer you and Bucky had gotten, the more nervous you were. That you would turn out like your mother. You were having a harder time keeping to yourself, keeping up the façade that everything was all bright in your world. You wanted to be a light for everyone.

But at some point, days turn to nights and the light gives way to the darkness.

And you weren’t sure how much time you had left before you cracked.

Bucky had started making small moves towards you, and you were trying your best to deflect them in efforts to not fall flat on your face for him. He came over Wednesday nights for a movie and take out with you, and what started as being on two opposite ends of the couch had moved to being next to each other to him having his arm wrapped around you. Sometimes you felt he was a little too close and you would either shift away or get up to grab another drink or ‘use the bathroom’.

When you came back you would make an attempt to sit a bit further away.

Sometimes when Bucky would say goodbye at the end of the night he would hug you. That was nothing new, you were both big on hugs, but lately, he had been hugging you longer or tighter, lingering a few moments longer than could be platonic. You had started ending the hugs earlier, giving him a small squeeze before pulling away.

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to be with Bucky. It was that you were so scared that you would drive him away, leaving you as soon as you had started calling yourself his.

Which is what brought you here. Bucky had come over for another one of your movie nights and had his arm behind the couch rather than around you. An invitation for you to curl into his side, but he wanted you to make that choice. Eventually, you had found yourself curled up with him, his arm wrapped around you, and you could feel the tension.

You wanted to move away before you found yourself in too deep, but you couldn’t resist. It had been a long day and you found comfort with Bucky. Bucky turned his face slightly towards yours, kissing the side of your temple and you felt butterflies in your stomach. Your mind told you to shift away, to not let him get too close, but you found yourself turning your head towards Bucky and he leaned forward to kiss you gently.

After a moment you broke away, emotion taking over you. “I’m sorry, Bucky, I - I can’t do this,” you said, resting your forehead against his.

“Why not?” Bucky whispered, looking into your eyes.

Because I’ll hurt you.

I’ll disappoint you.

I’ll drive you away and I can’t lose the best thing that’s happened to me.

You sighed, standing up and moving away from Bucky. You couldn’t say those things to him out loud. Not without the entire story. And you weren’t ready to share all of that with him.

Bucky stood up with you, afraid he had just ruined the friendship or whatever relationship he had with you. “Y/n, wait, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

You had already left the room and couldn’t really hear him over the sound of your thoughts.

This wasn’t supposed to happen

I wasn’t supposed to let this happen

How could I be so stupid?

You were feeling tears in your eyes and Bucky followed you, afraid of what he did. Your breathing was picking up and you had started mumbling some of these things to yourself.

“Y/n, what’s happening, what did I do?”

You shook your head “You didn’t do anything, but I need you to leave, please,” you said, trying to hide your emotions. You hated being like this.

“I’m not going anywhere y/n, just tell me what’s wrong.”

“Get the fuck out of here Bucky! I don’t want your help!” you snapped suddenly, Bucky looking taken aback before your eyes widened.

“Oh god…”

You shook your head and started crying harder, stumbling over your words. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that, I didn’t mean to yell, I’m so sorry Bucky please don’t leave I'm so sorry.”

Bucky came forward and hugged you gently and you cried into his shirt. He whispered comforting words into your ear as you tried to breathe, embarrassed at how vulnerable you were being.

Bucky kept his breathing slow and even, trying to get you to match him. He had no idea what was happening but he knew he needed you to calm down before he asked. Whatever it was had to be something deep, and you weren’t in the space to talk about it right now.

He brought you over to sit on the corner of your bed, still hugging you as you cried. You were mumbling out apology after apology but Bucky wasn’t having any of it. He kept hugging you, telling you that he wasn’t going anywhere and that you were safe. He had never seen you so upset, or upset at all to begin with.

After you had calmed down a bit, Bucky asked you again what had happened. You shook your head, not knowing what to say.

“I’ve opened up about so many things to you, right?” he pulled back to look at you.

You nodded slightly.

“And you’ve never judged me for any of it.”

You shook your head this time.

“Then why can’t you let me do the same for you?”

You took a deep breath, fiddling with your hands. “I don’t wanna hurt you,” you said, not meeting his eyes.

Bucky drew his eyebrows together, still confused. “Y/n, you’ve been the nicest person I’ve ever met. How would you hurt me?”

You were already shaking your head. “No, see, that’s what’s gonna happen. I’m gonna be nice and sweet and...and I’m gonna fall in love with you, and you’re gonna fall in love with me. A-and then I’m gonna let you down over and over again and snap at you for things that aren’t your fault and...and you’ll get sick of it and leave and I’m going to hate myself for it, okay?”

“Hey, hey, slow down,” Bucky held your shoulders as they started shaking. You brought a hand to cover your mouth, Bucky hushing you again. “What are you talking about? Where is this coming from?”

You took a shaky breath as you ran a hand over your face. “I’m just like her, Bucky. I told myself I would never let myself be like her…”

“Like who?” Bucky asked, blood already boiling at who made you feel like this.

Her.

You weren’t supposed to think about her.

You promised yourself.

“Y/n, stay with me here,” he said, guiding your face back to look at him. “Who?”

“My mother.”

Bucky looked at you for a moment. “What?”

“You know, mothers bring you into the world. They say a mother knows when something is wrong with their kid, that babies are put on their mother’s chest because the skin-to-skin contact starts the bonding process. They’re supposed to protect you, and love you, and take care of you. But then you start to get older and it’s your fault that you were born when you didn’t ask, or your dad left and it’s your fault before you even knew he was gone. All I wanted was to be told what to do and all she would do is tell me what I did wrong. I can’t be like her and the older I get the more scared I am that I’m going to hurt everyone the way that she hurt my father and me.”

You had started crying again as Bucky looked at you, both broken-hearted and furious that someone would make you feel this way. Not to mention it was your own mother.

You took another shaky breath. “I thought the world of her when I was younger. And she barely even gave me the time of day. I keep telling myself that I’m not what she thought of me, but what if I am?” you shook your head again. “And I am so scared that I’m just like her.”

“Y/n, look at me, I need you to look at me when I say this, okay?” he cupped your face with both hands, wiping away your tears with the pads of his thumbs as he looked into your eyes. “You are nothing like your mother.”

You let out a small sob. “You don’t know her.”

“I don’t need to,” he said firmly. “You are kind and gentle. You work hard and you make sure that everyone is taken care of before you even consider yourself. You aren’t going to scare me away or hurt me.” He wiped fresh tears from your eyes. “You are your own person, your mother has no say in who you get to be. Who you are. You are not your mother, and you never will be.” he said, still holding your gaze.

You held his gaze a little longer, knowing he believed what he was saying. You didn’t, not quite yet, but maybe if he believed in you, you could too. You nodded slightly, giving him the smallest of smiles. “Thank you.”

Bucky returned the small smile. “You know I love you, right?”

“I love you too,” you said, smiling.

You meant it, and you knew he did too. And maybe one day, you would love who you’d become too.

------------

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[animefreak1145]

The Brilliance of Break On Through

Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War Mission Break on Through—An Analysis

I have replayed the campaign of COD:BOCW numerous times—too many times truly. Did a whole playthrough where it was Hardened and soon I’m sure I shall do Veteran(something I have never done for any COD game. Not even Hardened.).

All missions have their own unique qualities—parts where the player gets a little rush of adrenaline depending on the kind of mission and how they choose to play it (Nowhere Left to Run just a plain shooting match while Brick in the Wall you can choose to remain stealthy like the good spy you are or go crazy like an eager homicidal maniac).

Even within the safehouse, there are plenty of little details to discover if you take the time to look around and observe everyone. Or, everything. (The radio if turned to a Russian station/correspondence, Adler changes it back immediately before Da Nang mission. Watching Park’s body language, as you talk to Adler and she periodically looks over to you two. Adler suspicious when you go to the Red Room or the locked room with the arcade. The T.V. being turned on in the Red Room)

But the amount of details, details, in the mission Break on Through is outstanding. I have played this mission more than any other due to me wishing to look at all the details. There’s so many, I think I may miss some. And I can’t show them off all to you cause I suck at creating gifs and don’t know how to transfer that from Xbox to my phone.

To lighten it up a bit, I won’t focus on the four different scenarios you go through—at least not each one. That would take too long and I do not have gifs/pics to show it off since Tumblr limits it to ten anyways.

I will, however, try to guide to what parts of the game you all can explore if you choose to do so. As well just how detailed they did this mission.

I am going to start with the different statements Adler says to you throughout all the Scenarios(17, 6, 11, 1). We only go through four in the actual game—but the fact it goes up to 17 or possibly more shows just how far they went in and messed with Bell’s mind.

Now, Adler seems to be a bit bipolar on how he talks to you whether or not you listen to him and all his directions. Either totally blasé and cold to giving you and pumping you up with more MK or meds, or actually a tad concerned and patient as he guides you through.

If You/Bell Stands Still/Does Nothing:

Example 1

“So you did nothing? What were you, in shock?”

He throws the words callously, mocking. As if Bell isn’t confused and lost at what is going on. He even sounds irritated that you might actually be in shock due to these memories that are just fake—not even real. Not like what he has.

Example 2

“What’s wrong with Bell?” -Adler

“I’m not sure. . .” -Park

“I guess we’ll just wait on you to proceed, Bell.”

The contrast is dizzying. He sounds concerned when he asks Park on what could be wrong with you. If he pushed you too far and now you’re just frozen. And, instead of rushing you due to how the fate of half of Europe is at stake, he decides to give you space. Just wait for you and you’ll come out of it soon enough.

He does these sort of reactions numerous times. Jumping from intimidating to the Adler we knew as the player, as Bell—kind and always in your corner that believes in you. He switches tactics based on what he believes will work really—or he just felt really on edge at times and threw the farce that you two were friends out the window.

Other examples include:

Scenario 11–Napalm Strike-in the lab in the room where you were brainwashed

“Christ, what’s happening with them?”-Adler

“A mild seizure. Sims, past me a benzodiazepine.” -Park

Again, concerned. Worried. Almost…at unease?

In the lab—tripped up on drugs. If you run through the tight shrinking hallway back and forth like so(I suck at making gifs, I’m sorry):

“Why is Bell repeating themselves?”

Or

“Bell, stop speaking in circles.”

Now, as others may have suspected, Bell is talking to everyone as they’re stuck in this horrible loop of mental torture. Most likely muttering, hands clenching and arms pulling against the straps of the gurney, moving their head back and forth depending on what they’re seeing. I always saw Bell as muttering quickly in Russian as they go through all of this—their mother tongue where it may comfort them as they’re panicking and speaking to Adler.

It’s just a nice detail showcasing how exactly Adler knows that Bell is on script—Bell saying what they’re seeing and doing and what’s going on. It shows also just how hard they put Bell through the ringer(badum tss. I’ll leave now).

All the details too when the game shows how the drugs they put in Bell affects you. Like so. The hallways appearing long. The lights looking yellow. You feel so fast—look how quick you can run. Run towards the Red Door that Adler so desperately wants and maybe this can stop. Ah, why is it running away from you? What’s going on?

I don’t know about you, but I was so lost and confused at what was going on my first playthrough. For the majority of this mission, the possibility of me being brainwashed didn’t reach the BACK of my mind till probably I actually saw the flashes of scenes about Vietnam and calling Bell a subject. So like right here.

I personally thought that I had a repressed memory or something due to me going through the Vietnam War. That whatever I saw with Perseus, I—or rather Bell—repressed it from our mind due to how violent or horrible what we saw or experienced was. And that Adler suspected and just really wanted to know about it.

I didn’t expect for the man to actually brainwash my character—us—Bell! The game made Adler your mentor, who always defended you from Hudson and believed in your skills very highly. How he and Bell were basically perfect partners when the two of you were together.

It’s amazing—cause I think that’s what the developers were going for. The absolute trust. The loyalty. The denial that ‘maybe Adler is being a little harsh but hey, this is to help Perseus so it’s okay?’ It’s perfect. Because I’m sure that is what Bell actually felt in real time.

Yet, if you go through the total rebellious choice of not listening to Adler, some thing’s make sense. The Rebellious Side shows you way more than if you just listen to Adler like a Dutiful Soldier.

You go through this room if you choose the rebellious route, the T.V.’s automatically turning on the closer you get. Of Vietnam. And now, all those T.V.‘s that turned on by themselves(the Red Room, Lubyanka, Cuba) make sense. You were actually being brainwashed. Poor Bell probably can’t ever have a turned off/broken T.V. again. The trauma.

Said trauma being shown multiple times too. Not just the T.V.‘s. But the absolute terror that Bell felt, before they became Bell, with Adler.

Like do you see this? This terrified me when I saw it at the end of the hallway. I just saw a red shadow in the distance and I legit thought I was about to be chased. Call of Duty became a horror game(I also went through the door to the ground too my first playthrough, so before this I went through zombies and I think my heart was going to jump out my chest) I thought. I didn’t want to get closer. I had to, with each step I see that it’s not a shadow but a body. And than I see the familiar jacket, the sound of whirring in my ears and see it’s Adler’s head being twisted back and forth, side to side, up and down, in a speed that in inhumanely possible.

Makes one wonder if Bell themselves sees Adler as inhumane. Not human. Adler seeming to just be a god in their head. All the Adler shaped rocks/boulders you go through and see. Even one point the V.C. becoming Adler and you killing him over and over and dead bodies of Adler being everywhere.

The man has entered Bell’s head and won’t leave. Just like Adler won’t leave Bell alone.

Heck, there’s one point in my playthroughs of this mission I was by the bridge yet there were parts of the lab by it. I jumped towards it, noticing down below there were different floors of the lab that eventually reach the ground. I jumped to reach the next floor and missed and I died.

And Adler mocked Bell committing suicide.

That was the kicker really that Adler truly is indifferent towards Bell. Like complete disregard. I know it’s fake. We know it’s fake. Adler knows it’s fake—but to Bell, it felt real. That’s the crazy part. All of this—this whole sequence feels real to Bell so each time they die they actually feel it. It’s insane. It’s cruel.

But we all know that Adler isn’t known for his kindness. Still like his character though, he’s layered.

I don’t have the exact quote he said, didn’t wrote it down like the others. I was shook he said it at all.

Moving on to the final details I’m going to talk about.

When you go through the room, I believe this comes out for both rebellious and dutiful, really depends. You see it filled with post it notes, articles, plans, and newspapers. And you see once more just how Bell has been scarred.

I don’t know Russian or German, but I imagine the notes are similar to what the English one’s say. If I’m wrong, please point it out.

There’s also post it notes which I believe is in code as well due to all the numbers—I’m not sure what those could mean since I am no decoding expert.

Poor poor Bell. And with all these pictures and plans—of Adler included—it begs the question that Bell may have been warned about the famous America’s Monster beforehand. Had to have—since Adler is basically Perseus’s adversary due to how stubborn the American man could be. It just adds more to the story, despite Cold War having quite a short campaign, they made it up somewhat with all these details everywhere.

When you finally and actually reach the room.

As you grow closer to the table, to your chair in the conference room while everyone else seems to have their own spots, there’s something I noticed.

There’s glasses. As well as a hat. And it’s Bell’s. Or at least, it used to be. Why else is it on their side of the table? By their chair? I believe it might be reading glasses due to all the decryptions Bell does, whether on paper or through a computer, it’s hard on the eyes. (I’m sure I’m not the only one who noticed this. For look at @second-vtoroy ‘s Bell)

I believe through the brainwashing, Bell might not need glasses anymore. After all, apparently they were a smoker like Adler before too but they took that out of you. What else they changed of Bell? It makes one wonder how far they truly went into molding a person.

Which just adds onto how mind boggling this mission is—this game is. This is my favorite COD game, despite how short it is. The details and choices and interactions with everyone and able to create your own character(albeit it’s very standard and not specific but it’s good enough for me) is AMAZING. I’ve always been a sucker for RPG’s and able to get that even a little in a COD game? Truly wonderful.

I couldn’t touch on everything because it would’ve gotten long, but the fun of the Break on Through mission never gets old. It’s genius multiple ways you can do it. All the details. The feelings you feel as a player as you go through it.

They truly did a unique job with this and I hope they continue with this type of game storytelling. Hopefully longer as well.

Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed this rant basically!

Gifs made by me and used the video down below to help.

https://youtu.be/t6QkmkGGHSQ

[walpurga-nacht-academy]

EVEN MORE BLACKFLAME THOUGHTS AND HOW EP6 PERSONALLY HURT ME

Ignihyde final update finally dropped and I've never been more hurt by a piece of TWST media than I have been ever since I finished reading it. In terms of execution, themes and character development Ignihyde currently stand head and shoulders among my list of favourites and I don't think anything will be able to dethrone it for a while. It's just that good, both as a piece on its own but also as a homage to the original movie and even to the myths themselves. My literary critic ass will eventually get to dissecting those concepts too soon, likely during the following week, but now I would like to yell a bit about Blackflame, EP6 and how it all pans out because these ideas have had me in a vice grip, haha.

I've yelled a bit about these ideas here and here and here before too, if you'd like to check them out (and I encourage you too because this post builds off that a lot) but for now, here are my ramblings:

IDIA, VITA AND HOW THE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO LOVERS TROPE WINS

As I mentioned before, Idia and Vita are childhood friends who grew up together due to the fact that they've been engaged to each other from an early age. As the Watchmen of the Underworld and facilitators of OB experiments, the Shrouds believed that having the Dies, a family who specializes in medical magic and necromancy, under their thumb would be paramount to their own work. This was easily achieved by having the heir of the Shroud family and the heiress of the Dies engaged when they were 5 and 6 years old respectively, with the expectations that the two would eventually marry and take over the research facility. It's why Vita was also given a Kerberos breed guard dog in order to ensure that it would be made clear what her betrothed's family expected out of her. And given that they were the only ones who encouraged her interest in the family lore, though for their own benefit, she devoted herself to becoming of use to them.

Much of Idia's and Vita's childhood was spent in each other's company, alongside Ortho, as they were pretty much the only children their age they interacted with. Idia and Vita started off on an awkward foot, with him finding it difficult to understand how he'll eventually marry Vita when they grow older, and Vita finding all his interests a bit incomprehensible but still trying her best to engage with them. It eventually turns out that she is quite proficient as a fast learner so while she's not exactly a fan, she can hold her own and support Idia as backup in his endeavours. That transfers to real life as well, since she encouraged him to do as he pleased before the strain of taking over the family became too much for him. As his future wife, she decided to become proficient enough in anything Idia might need in order to ease his burden, even if just a little. Hence why Vita seems very capable in current times of a number of feats, as she trained herself to be this sort of person.

Vita and Ortho's relationship was quite different as young children as well, as Vita tended to dote and spoil him quite a bit and felt closer to him than to her actual sisters. The two would sometimes also team up to encourage Idia, which he found really embarrassing growing up, but did secretly enjoy. Ortho was really taken by the idea that Vita would become his older sister, and because he had difficulty pronouncing her name at first, he ended up calling her "Vita" instead. Hence her current nickname which she introduces herself by. She thinks it describes her better than her full name. And it's the one memento that she has from him after he dies.

If Vita was set on becoming Idia's support once they grew up, this becomes even more pronounced after Ortho's death. She was devastated by it. She was not present during the incident, but was informed later, and went to see Idia once he woke up. He looked so broken that Vita felt that she had failed miserably in being a supportive partner and had to work even harder to make up for her 'mistakes'. During this time she began to close herself off emotionally, not allowing herself to properly mourn his passing, thus never properly grieving him as she should have. Much like Idia, Vita continues to have unresolved issues with Ortho's death, but while he is wrecked by guilt and overindulges in his hobbies, giving up on his future, Vita goes the opposite. She throws herself in her work, becomes overly independent and focuses almost exclusively on Idia and his well-being leading to a slightly imbalanced relationship. His focus on the interior world clashes often with hers on the exterior world, leading to the two having a number of arguments over the years as they cannot reconcile with Ortho's passing and the impact it had on their relationship. Yet, that also bonds them together as they feel like the other is the only one who properly understands how important Ortho truly was.

It eventually all comes down to their platonic love for him being so strong that they feel they cannot escape the past any longer.

Things then take a complicated turn when Idia rebuilds Ortho. His inspiration was the Dies' own tradition of reviving their dead ancestors to have them around the house as living corpses and he even tries to approach Vita with the idea at first, only for her to categorically shut him down. What the Dies do is revive the body for utility purposes, the thing that walks their halls is no longer their family but just the husk. The soul has passed on and become one with the world, returning to the source and attempting to force it back would be akin to forcing somebody to live through torturous pain. This is something Vita would never want for Ortho, who she loved dearly. It also would force her to confront her own feelings regarding his loss which she is not ready to do under any circumstances yet. Meanwhile, Idia, blinded by the desire to fix what he did, disregards her refusal and goes ahead rebuilding Ortho as a robot despite the taboo nature of the act. Vita is horrified to find this out which causes a rupture in their relationship as well, as they stop seeing each other for a while. The next time that they do is after Vita finds out that she's been accepted as a student to WNA and goes over to inform Idia. They keep in touch afterwards, with both constantly dodging any discussion that involves Ortho until Vita comes back for a visit and meets him too.

When this new Ortho called her 'Vita', the same as the real Ortho used to, she thought she would break down. All her feelings and regrets came rushing back up and trying to overwhelm her, just by then she'd managed to train her mask well enough that it would slip.

The changes that she went through during her first semester at WNA meant that while she became more physically affectionate, she also turned towards tough love as her main means of dealing with situations. She continued to support Idia the best way she could, but it usually meant making sure to remind him that while he might end up becoming the head of the Shroud family, he shouldn't let it define him either. He was still free to do as he pleased. That he continued to wallow in misery bothered her a lot since she wanted him at least to fare better than she did. When that couldn't be possible, she felt even worse about her inability to help him.

Because they are childhood friends, they continue to understand each other quite well, and make a very strong team, but their stubbornness and inability to deal with the situation at hand means that they clash when it comes to dealing with issues. Vita needs to learn how to become more open and rely on others, while Idia needs to deal with the guilt that he feels over Ortho's death. They need to reconcile with this otherwise they can't move on and fix their own problems.

Still, their loyalty to each other is unmatched. Idia respects and loves Vita despite being too awkward to show it and does his best to support her research and make life as comfortable for her as he can, which means mostly through gifts, while Vita is his most vocal supporter, even defending him against her mother when the latter expressed disgust at the thought of Idia bringing Ortho back as a robot, despite Vita herself not being alright either with his actions. Most of their bonding moments happen through their shared hobbies and Vita doing her best to 'collect romance flags' along the way, which Idia claims it's 'normie stuff' but actually really likes.

He still feels quite insecure about how exactly someone like Vita would find attractive or interesting but also prefers to just ignore it and focus on enjoying her company instead.

All this changes post EP6 when the two open up about their inability to get over Ortho's death and find comfort in the fact that the other understands this tragedy better than anyone else could. Vita admits that she just wants to be a good wife and support Idia the best way she could, and Idia also admits that he should have appreciated her affection and support more and that he also was at fault for the whole situation. Once the OB incident is resolved, the two reconcile and come to terms with Ortho's death and the fate of the new one.

As the new Ortho is no longer the result of Idia's poor coping mechanisms that means that Vita becomes just as affectionate with him as she would be if he continued to live, finding comfort in the idea that rather than this being a fake trying to take the real's place, it just a memento of the Ortho they loved and now is its own person who will grow into a different being, this reconciling with her family's own traditions in a way. Along with Larna the four end up making for their own family unit, with Vita learning to be more reliant on others and Idia finding it in himself to become ambitious again to some degree.

EP6 AND NOTES ON BLACKFLAME

As mentioned in the other posts, as a member of S.T.Y.X. Vita is present during the events of the episode as one of the scientist and part of the "Persephone" branch that oversees the medical side of things. She checks the OB victims' statuses and is currently on not so good terms with Idia due to the fight they had during VDC. They continue to remain civil with each other despite everything and work together, though it's quite clear to the NRC boys that something is up, even though Ortho seems oblivious to it. During all this, she is accompanied by Larna, who, sensing the tension, is on high alert and quite fretful since he hates to see his parents fighting like this.

Things proceed as normal until Ortho turns off the security system and Idia seemingly disappears and chaos is instilled over the facility. Worried for him, Vita tries to find him but due to the Phantom breach, she is momentarily stopped from advancing any further into Tartarus than the second charge station. Much like some of the scientists she ends up in a sticky situation as she can't risk using too much magic for fear of OB and her UM doesn't help her either, since it is ineffective against the creatures. The only one at her side is Larna, who gets injured badly while trying to protect her, but they are eventually found and rescued by Vil's group.

This is important due to the fact that Vil and Vita share some common ground, with both being mom figures in group, keen on tough love, confident and tactical people. They have the sort of relationship where their banter tends to be quite friendly and they see each other as equals despite their differences. Thus, it's easier for her to accept help from them. And it also means that she trusts them to be capable people.

Aware that with Larna injured like that she'll have to stay behind to help the pup, Vita shoves down her pride and asks Vil for help to save Idia, telling them as much information as they need and making him promise to bring her husband back alive. Had it been any other group she wouldn't have trusted them, but because it was him she decided to take a chance. After all, both Vil and Vita's flaw is that they are emotionally closed off to others and too stubbornly independent, and thus Vil being the one to help Vita overcome this is in line with his own character development as he learns to put his trust in other people and become more emotionally open.

Thus, Vita ends up working communication and evacuation during the rest of the episode, ensuring that the groups have the support that they need to save Idia, while also tending to Larna who due to the severity of his wound loses one of his hind legs.

Once the OB fight is over, and Idia is saved and everybody escapes from S.T.Y.X. she and Idia have a discussion together, still raw from the whole situation. When he catches his first glimpse of her, he's wracked with guilt for putting her in danger and then relieved to see that she's not injured. That goes out the window when he sees Larna's state especially since the dog is overjoyed at seeing that his father is safe and doesn't bear him any ill will whatsoever. Idia promises to make it up to him any way he can and apologizes for putting them both in danger, only to be completely shocked by the sight of Vita crying.

For as long as he's known her, he's never seen Vita cry like this and it just momentarily breaks him (especially because of the moe gap of his usually stoic and playful wife suddenly bursting out crying in such an open way). He's even more stunned when she rushes to hug him and confesses how scared and worried she was about him and how sorry she is for not being able to do anything to actually help him. She was terrified of losing him just like they lost Ortho and wasn't sure what she'd have done if that was the case and that she's unbelievably happy to see him safe and sound.

They end up actually acknowledging their issues and how they haven't reconciled with the death they couldn't mourn properly, and Idia tells her about his meeting with Ortho on the other side and what he told him to do and they realize that it's time for them to move on and learn from their mistakes and both working towards fixing the situation instead of dancing around the issue. All the while Larna is yapping happily around them because his parents are reunited again and no longer fighting.

This results in Vita no longer opposing the creation of a new Ortho, and treating the new version much like how she'd treat a real little brother, and learns how to be more emotionally open with him, while Idia comes to terms with his brother's death, becomes more emotionally supportive of Vita as well, and creates a bionic leg for Larna, making him and Ortho 'match' now.

In essence, they become a proper power couple, haha.

They go from childhood friends who have romantic feelings for each other but also face a lot of issues, due to their emotional states, to lovers who learn to be more open with each other and work out their problems together. 💙 

[loousir]

Neighbours {Uno}

Uno x Male Reader

Anime: Nanbaka

Warnings: Uhm, this one might be weirdly written...

Masterlist

Originally Posted on January 4, 2021

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"Ow! That was really unnecessary!" You yelled at who you know as Supervisor Sugoroku. "It was more than necessary considering you're being a pain." He said locking the cell you were thrown in. You groaned and explored your cell a bit.

Building 13, cell 12, inmate number (#)

(F/N) (L/N)

You sighed as you laid down in the middle of the room, not knowing what to do since you knew you were being watched extra considering this was the third building you've been transferred to. You started out in building 5 with Samon but it quickly turned out that you really liked to slip out of his grasp and run off to building 3.

Kiji didn't mind too much that you got transferred into his building considering you always called him out if his makeup was off or fading. He really appreciated you for that until you offered to do his makeup and make him look like a clown. Or at least more of one than he already was.

Finally you were transferred to building 13. That was where you would be from now on considering Supervisor Sugoroku wouldn't take any of your shit. You were told about the boys in the next cell over but didn't really think it was true until you heard the alarm go off. You scrambled to your feet to see what was going on and saw the four infamous inmates run by. The guy with long pink and blonde braided hair really caught your eye.

"How does someone even get hair that long.." You asked yourself softly. Right as you said that, the supervisor ran by. "I can see why they put me here." You said out loud as you laid out your blanket. It was getting late so you decided to just try and sleep.

Before you drifted off into the only peaceful place in this prison, you heard a faint, "Hajime, you didn't tell us we have a new neighbor!"

~The Next Morning~

You felt something poking your face, thinking it was your cell mate so you just ignored it.

Wait.. I don't have a cell mate anymore.

You shot up and slapped the hand away, becoming defensive and glaring at the person who was poking you. "Jeez man chill! I thought you died in your sleep or something, we've been here for a while now." You noticed it was the blonde from yesterday. Looking around him you saw the other three guys he was running with.

"I have two questions. How the hell did you get in here and why." You more or less stated than asked. "Well, my pal Jyugo here is the key to the world so we slipped out of our cell, as usual, and snuck into yours while you were sleeping!" You tilted your head slightly and raised a brow. "So you're saying hes good a lock picking?" The boy with green hair nodded. "Yup!"

"Now, why are you four in here again?" You said looking around, seeing their numbers. "15, 11, 25, and 69. So you four are the ones that are always trying to escape right?" 11 nodded. "And we came in to see who you were, Hajime didn't tell us we had a new neighbor." "I can understand why he didn't say anything.." You mumbled. "Hey I heard that! It wasn't even my idea." 69 said crossing his arms.

"Yeah, it was all Uno's idea!" 25 said copying 69's pose. "I'm guessing that's you." You said pointing to the mentioned male. "That's him." 15 said. "Anyway, now that you know why we're here, mind introducing yourself?" Uno said sitting next to you and wrapping an arm around your shoulder. You instantly tensed up and tried to push him away but he didn't budge.

"So.. My options are respond to the questions or wait till the Supervisor comes.." You accidentally said out loud. "I mean, pretty much." 15 said. You sighed and said, "(Y/N). I'm a transfer from building 3. Number (#)." 11's eyes widened slightly. "Wait you came from building 3?" You nodded. "I was originally from building 5."

"That's crazy. What did you do to get transferred twice?" 69 asked. "Well I liked to run away from Samon to building 3 so they shoved me there with Kiji." You said shrugging. 11 still hung on your shoulder as you talked, staring at the side of your face. You could feel his eyes watching your mouth move. "In few words, I made Kiji look like a clown. And that's how I got here."

You stood up leaving 11 on the bed behind you. "Mind telling my your names since this is my cell after all?" You said standing by the window. "My name's Nico!" The boy with green hair perked up. "This is Rock, Jyugo, and Uno." He said pointing to each as he said their name. You turned your head to Jyugo and analyzed his face. He looked uncomfortable as you stared him down.

You did the same to the other three. Rock didn't seem fazed by the staring and Nico just smiled brightly at you. Uno on the other hand just smirked at you. "Like what you see?" He asked, the cocky tone in his voice showing clearly. "No." You said straight faced. A look of hurt quickly replaced his smirk.

I love what I see.

You went back over to window and stared out of it. "We should get back before someone comes by." Uno said, sounding hurt by your words but clearly trying to cover it so no one would ask. "Bye (Y/N)!" Nico said as they walked out. "Uno, quit being so pouty." Rock said once they were outside. They said something else but you didn't hear. You yawned and continued to look out the window until one of the guards came by.

"(#), its time to go eat." They said unlocking your cell. You nodded and held out your hands to be cuffed. The bluenette looked at your hands before looking back at you. "Just come on." He said leading you to the cafeteria. Once you entered you looked around and noticed the boys from cell 13 sitting down and eating. You didn't want to bug them so you found a different spot before going to get some food.

After getting your meal of choice, you sat down at the empty table and started to eat. Damn, this is way better than the other buildings.. You thought to yourself as you continued to eat. While you did so, you didn't notice the pair of blue eyes staring at you again. It's a lot calmer here, kinda nice.. You scanned the room and looked at the people who stayed in the same building as you. While your eyes were examining your surroundings you locked eyes with a certain someone you didn't expect to be staring.

The both of you stared at each other before you broke eye contact, a slight blush on your face. Even though you two were a distance away you could see his eyes perfectly. You reached into your pocket and pulled out a gemstone, almost identical to his eye color. You quickly slipped it back into your pocket once you heard footsteps growing closer. "Hey neighbor~" Uno said sitting close to you, close enough your sides were touching.

"What do you want." You said as you continued to eat. "So cold. I was wondering what you just slipped back into your pocket." He said sneakily reaching to grab it out of your pocket while you ate. "Uno don't even try." You said looking over to him. The both of you locked eyes again and he was the one who broke the gaze. "What? I wasn't trying anything!" He said acting as if he did nothing. "Suure.." You said as you started to eat again.

The two of you were quiet for a moment before he spoke up. "Did you really mean what you said earlier?" He asked with his head laying on the table. You looked over to him, surprised by his calm tone. It was silent for a second before you answered. "Yeah, I just think you took it in a different way than I intended." His head tilted slightly as he looked at you from the table top. "What do you mean by that?"

"Think about it. If someone said no to liking something whats the other reason they would say no? And I don't mean because they dislike it." You said while you finish what you had. Uno looked confused as he thought. "I still don't get what you mean." He said looking at you again.

"Do you believe in love at first sight?"

Uno had a shocked yet understanding look on his face. "I'm guessing it finally clicked." You said smirking. "Alright! Back to your cells!" One of the gaurds yelled. You stood up to throw your plate away but Uno stopped you. "I'll be at your cell in a few." You raised a brow and rolled your eyes as he walked off to join the others. You did the same and headed back to your cell.

Once you got back to your cell you went to your bed to sit and read. You chose a random book and started to read. A slight breeze made its way past you, causing you to shiver. Its way colder here. You thought as you continued to read. As you got lost in the sea of words you were pulled out of it when your door opened. Uno and Jyugo were standing there. "Thanks Jyugo!" Uno said walking in. Jyugo just nodded and shut the door behind Uno and walked back to his cell.

You marked your place and set it aside as Uno joined you on the bed. "So what did you come here for?" You asked looking over to him. "I never answered your question!" He said with a smile on his face. "Which one?" You asked tilting your head slightly. "You really forgot? This just happened." He said getting a bit closer. You backed up slightly only for him to keep getting closer. Eventually you ended up against the wall and Uno had you trapped under him.

"What are y--!!" Uno closed the gap between the two of you with a kiss. Your eyes widened slightly as a blush dusted your cheeks. You didn't kiss back due to shock. He pulled away and looked into your eyes, his blue ones showing brightly. "Yes, I do believe in love at first sight." He said kissing you again. You closed your eyes and kissed back. You could feel him smirk against your lips before he pulled away.

You blushed and looked away from him. "I'm gonna get going before I get in trouble." He said getting up and walking over to the door. "See ya later!~" He said walking out.

You glared at the door and rolled your eyes. Reaching into your pocket you felt that the gemstone wasn't there. "You piece of shit!" You yelled going to the door. Uno just laughed and went back into his cell. "Y'know Uno, that looks just like your eyes!" You heard Nico say. "Yeah, it kinda does! No wonder he likes me so much." Uno said just loud enough for you to hear, knowing you were still listening. You groaned and laid down on the bed.

Stupid cute asshole

-----------------------------------------

1905

[kkusuka]

Unsupervised

Dabi/ Touya Todoroki x Fem reader

Genre: Smut

Synopsis: You haven’t seen Dabi in a year and he seems to miss you a whole bunch.

words: 1.9k

Cw: minor manga spoilers, slight degrading, overuse of the word doll, you get walked-in on and I'm sure there's a word for that I just can't think of, voyeurism

The threat of being arrested loomed over your boyfriend's head since becoming a villain. Apparently, the fear of never being free again was stomped out by his ambition to overthrow his father.

So when he was captured during an ambush, you felt your heartbreak for him. No matter what had happened in his childhood, life in prison was the only outcome you could think would happen.

Your heart shattered when you were proven right.

You haven't seen Dabi in a year, he was constantly being transferred into higher security prisons. Not to mention the times you tried to visit but he was placed in solitary right before, his bad habit of getting into fights finally caught up to him.

The time made you think about all the nights you spent laying under the stars talking about your future, a peaceful life, maybe a family. Or all the evenings you would dance around your living room in that shitty apartment as a soft waltz plays from the speaker. You’ll never get the chance to have a nice wedding or that baby girl, he would treat so well-

“Um, Y/n? You’ve been cleared to enter.”

Shooting your head up at the mention of your name you take notice of the guard holding the door to the visitation rooms open. You could feel his eyes on you as you placed the fashion magazine back into its place, before grabbing your small purse and walking over to the man.

He led you down a monotonous hallway bringing you to a stop before door number 12.

As he went to open the door he asked once more if you had anything in your purse that could aid in an escape of a high-class prisoner, you're sure the reminder of just who your boyfriend is was a dig at you. But you couldn't even care about that.

He warned you one last time before opening the door and stepping in, taking a second to stand there when a deep familiar voice rang out from the depth of the room,

“Dude, no offense but I was getting in the mood to see my girl, and seeing you really turned me off, where is she anyway?”  you rushed to step in immediately noticing the taunting smirk on his scarred face, “ah! There she is! How are ya Doll?”

Unable to hide your overwhelming rush of emotions, you almost ran towards the man, who promptly stood, letting you wrap your arms firmly around his waist. He maneuvered his still cuffed wrists over your head, pressing you into his body.

Slightly swaying your bodies, he lifted his head towards the guard, who was stationed in the corner by the door ( observation, a skill you picked up from one of Dabi’s impromptu survival lessons) raising his hands, “Man couldn't you undo these one time? They're ruining our reunion.”

You let out a soft, wet laugh at the humor that you missed so much, letting a sniffle out as he stuffed his cheek into your hair, eyes still burning into the guard.

“You know we can’t Mr. Todoroki, it’s against policy for high-class profiles”  You could tell this guy did not like you or your boyfriend and wanted to make sure you knew it.

At the excuse, Dabi let out a loud groan and spun you to sit on the couch adjacent to the chair he plopped himself onto. Settling from across from him you finally got to take a look at him, the look was reciprocated as he stared back at you.

He wasn't as skinny as you expected, that meant he was eating well, or as well as he could in this situation. His skin looked less blistered, definitely from the lack of quirk use. The staples on his hands were replaced with actual stitches and seemed to be healing.

But most notably was the white roots poking out of his dyed locks, something you would never see. He would dye his roots the second his natural color peaked through. It was almost like looking at a different person.

But his eyes, the slight upturn of his lips as he smirked back at you, and the deep chuckle when he noticed your stare. All telltale signs he was the same man you knew, and loved, for the last six years of your life.

“Whatcha lookin’ at doll?”

You couldn't help but let out a smile at the nickname, “Your hair, and your eyes, and your arms, and your, your everything. I can't believe it’s really you” Yu tried to laugh the last phrase out but your soft sobs got in the way.

He gave you a smile and held his arms out, making small ‘grabby hands’ at you, motioning you to come back into his arms.

“Well you didn't come all this way to just look at me, and, dude can’t you just take ‘em off for a minute. These things are totally ruining our moment”

Before the man could answer an intercom blared into the room a fight had broken out in the main corridor and they needed all guards in the area. Meaning he had to leave, at least for a few minutes.

He shot the both of you a look, reaching to grab his keys from his belt, opening the door, “I will be right back, I’m locking the door, the cuffs are staying on. The door will be locked until I come back, no funny business. Am I understood?”

You gave the man a curt nod as he shut the dock, as the lock clicked in place you were thrown onto the couch, your coat and purse threw to the floor. Dabi was looming over you in seconds, pulling his arms apart snapping the chain of his handcuffs.

“H-hey! What-”

“Doll, I haven't gotten off in a year and all of a sudden you show up and we were handed a golden opportunity I will not waste”  he growled as he slipped your top off.

Reaching behind you he unhooked your bra, throwing it into some corner of the room, something he’ll probably manage to sneak back into his cell with. He kneeled in between your legs leaning to take a nipple into his mouth, rolling the other, maintaining eye contact.

“Fuck I missed these, my head doesn’t give you credit, mouse” you missed this, you missed his voice, you missed the way he bit your neck as a hand reached down to maneuver your shorts down your legs.

He lifted his head, admiring the marks he left on your neck, pushing you to sit against the armrest. Then pulling your thighs to his shoulders pressing his face into your dripping core. Giving it a small lick and a guttural rumble from his throat. “Oh, baby you shaved just for me? Now I've got to give you a taste. And you’re just as wet as I remember”

Attaching his lips to your clit, giving it a suck, you followed his command of playing with your hard nipples aiding in the build of your orgasm. Reaching a hand to hand onto his colored locks, pulling him closer to you while tightening your thighs around his head. His chuckle sent shivers to your core, adding to the wetness.

His tongue was shoved deeper into your cunt as you clench around him, riding through your orgasm. Letting you fall onto the couch, painting as he released his cock from his boxers

“You know what to do Doll, get in position.”

You couldn't forget how he wanted you if you tried. It's been buried, fucked really, into you. You're sure you would have pulled your knees to your chest, opening yourself completely, presenting yourself to him, as he fucked you.

He laughed at your submissiveness, “I’ve trained you that well? All this time and you're still my cockwhore! Say it, tell me I was a bitch in heat you are for me.”

Instead of letting you answer he fully sheathed himself in your heat, his hips flushing against yours.

“I’m not hearing you talk Doll! ‘Cmon you’ve said it before, tell me how much you love my dick in your pussy.” he accompanied each word with a roll of his hips, brushing into your clit. Bringing a hand up to roll your nipple.

“I-i’m a whore for you cock, I’m a-a well-trained bitch in heat”  

“Hah! Yes, you are, my bitch in heat!”

He was pounding you into the couch, thrusting with his entire body weight straight into your cervix. Your mind was a mess of his soft growls and the finger rubbing circles around your throbbing clit. Only knowing the feeling of his cock re-carving his way into your cunt.

Mid-thrust the door swung open and you could make out the face of the shocked guard frozen in the doorway. Dabi shot a glare over his shoulder at the intruder before letting out a mocking laugh as he slowed his hip, eliciting a whine from you.

In a second, Dabi fell back, dropping you onto his cock, facing the shocked guard, who was opening his mouth attempting to speak.

“Dude, don't just stand there,” Dabi mocked snapping the guard out of whatever trance he was in, he opted to step in and shut the door going back into his former stance, “ha! Give him a show doll!”

He helped you start off by picking up your hips and dropping you back onto his cock, settling you into a steady rhythm. When you try to hang your head and look into Dabi’s burning eyes, he seems to have other ideas.  

He placed his hand under your chin and pushed your face to meet the eyes of your observer, “Not at me baby, give ‘em a show, it's what he stayed for afterall” keeping with your rhythm his other hand flew down to your clit, fondling with it, laughing when you let out a gasp of his name.

You felt eyes fall onto your bouncing breasts, taking Dabi’s words too great you reached a hand to play with your pebbles nipples, letting out a pornstar worth moan, and Dabi let out a fake moan to pair with yours.

As you felt the coil in your core begin to grow, you lost your pace opting to let Dabi bounce you on his cock until he took mercy and flipped you over, throwing a leg over his shoulder.

Sensing you were close Dabi aimed for the spot in your depths, “Please, gonna cum, Please, please!” the coil was getting tighter and your cunt was squeezing him.

“Go, whore” and with that you fell apart around his cock, milking his orgasm from him as he shoved his cum, farther into your cavern.  

A minute of breathing passed before he peeled himself off you and glanced towards the guard who choked out a command to clean yourselves up and that you only had five minutes left. Scouring the room for your clothes, Dabi surprised you when he handed your bra back until you noticed him pocketing your panties.

After staying in his arms for whatever remaining time you had left, the same guard came back and yanked the man off you and replaced the broken handcuff, locking them on his wrists.

As he was escorted out he glanced back, winked, announcing, “Bye-bye Doll, wait for next time, I’ll stuff your throat full, ok? Just wait.”  

Two weeks and he’ll have to make do on that promise.

[manonblaqkbeak]

Midnight Cravings

so, i actually wrote most of this in july but never finished it and decided to fix it up for todays prompt bc i was feeling a lil lazy lol. and i think its one of my faves, especially the ending.

2.2k words

cw: none

enjoy!! :)

It was just past two in the morning and Aelin was wide awake. Not due to a mountain of paperwork, or a nightmare or one of her kids needing her. Aelin was wide awake because she was absolutely starving.

The type of starving it felt like she'd never eaten a day in her life. Like her stomach was going to eat itself.

Her stomach growled again, louder than before, and beside her, his voice muffled, Rowan asked, “Is that your stomach or the wind outside?”

“Shut up,” Aelin mumbled, as her stomach continued its song. Gods, why was she so hungry? She practically devoured the fruits in the fruit bowl just before bed, she had a healthy serving of dinner, and a large slice of chocolate torte for dessert.

But here she was, close to eating her damned pillow to sate her starvation.

Aelin glanced over towards her mate, his back to her, and she shuffled closer, resting her chin on his shoulder.

“Rowan,” she started to say, but Rowan cut her off.

“I'm not going to the kitchens.”

She pouted, although he couldn't see her. “Please?” she knew that if she used her manners, then he would do just about anything.

But it didn't work. Not just yet. “There's some fruit in the bowl.”

“I ate them all.” He sighed heavily, knowing that he was losing this conversation. “Please? I am your mate, your wife, the mother of your children.”

Rowan snorted. “Really? I was starting to suspect that the three silver-haired children were Lorcan's.”

Her hunger nearly disappeared at the thought of that. “Don't be gross.” Reaching over, Aelin kissed the tip of his ear, smiling as he shuddered in pleasure as she nibbled on it. “Please?”

Rowan sighed heavily, knowing that he lost, and Aelin barely hid her smile. “I'll go,” he said. “But only if you join me.”

Her smile did disappear at that. “But the bed is so warm.”

“Exactly. If I have to leave it, so do you.”

“Fine,” she mumbled reluctantly, but quickly perked up, realising that she would be getting food. Rowan was a much better cook than her. Aelin used to have basic cooking skills, but with being Queen and then becoming a mother, she never cooked anymore and really had no need to; not with multiple cooks under the palace roof. She did try a few years ago as a treat for her family, but everything turned into a crisp and wasn't even suitable for the dogs in the kennels.

Scrambling out of bed, the Queen and King of Terrasen tied on their robes and put on their slippers. Aelin loved the sight of Rowan looking so domestic, it was ridiculous how much she loved it.

Since Isolde was only six months old and far too young to be left behind, Rowan put her in the wooden carrier to take with them into the kitchens, their movements silent as the grave as they transferred their youngest from her crib and into the crafty carrier—Isolde was the only one of their children that slept soundlessly through the night at such a young age, and loathed to be woken up. As Rowan did that, Aelin checked in on Alder in his room, their son a little over three years old, but he slept like a log and Aelin knew that he wouldn't wake up at any point when they were gone.

As they left their chambers, Aelin nearly ruined all their good work and almost woke up their other children when she bit out a curse at the sudden leg cramp that shot up her right calf. Rowan glanced at her, asking if she was okay, and after a moment she was, although she was left a little dazed at the suddenness of it all.

Aelin's legs had been cramping randomly of late, but she didn't notice anything of concern. If it continued, she would go to Magnolia and see if anything could be done about it. The last thing Aelin needed was to fall ill, she had far too many things to do with winter arriving in a few weeks. She did know that if anything was wrong with her, that she could rely on Rowan completely.

Aelin's stomach growled for the umpteenth time, the sound lasting for a good minute before it settled. Isolde fidgeted in her sleep, but did not wake.

“I think your stomach was just trying to talk to me.”

“It was,” Aelin agreed. “It said that we need to hurry the hell up or it's going to disintegrate.”

“We better do as it says then. It'd be cruel to subject Terrasen to a hungry Queen. No one should suffer as I do when you're starving.”

“You make me sound horrible.”

“You are,” he said, humour dancing in his dark eyes. “And not just when you're hungry.”

Aelin mumbled under her breath. Rowan decided to pretend not to hear her, even as he fought a smile.

After what felt like an eternity, they reached the kitchens, Rowan placing Isolde onto the counter closest to them. Aelin rushed towards the bowls of fruit, grabbing an apple and a pear, eating the fruits simultaneously. She missed the small, private smile Rowan gave her as he went to the pantry, asking her what she was in the mood for, one eye on their child. But still, she slept and Rowan for a moment, wished that all of their children had been like that, but knew that there was no point in complaining when they all slept quietly now.

“Something filling,” was all Aelin could think of to say. But after a moment decided on an omelette, filled with bacon, mushrooms, onion, red bell-peppers and carrot. As she and Rowan prepped the ingredients—with Rowan wanting his own omelette—Aelin contemplated in silence, her brows furrowed as she chopped up the carrots.

“What are you thinking about, Fireheart?” Rowan asked when he noticed his wife's expression.

“Just trying to remember the last time I was this hungry. I've been like this for at least a week and a half.”

“I've noticed. You haven't had this big of an appetite for a good number of years.”

She didn't comment on that, lost in her own world. “And my legs have been cramping lately too. I haven't injured myself. Have I been sleeping in strange positions?”

“No, you're sleeping just fine.”

Her frown deepened. “Maybe I'm just stressed for the winter preparations.”

“Possibly, I know that you worry a lot for the people during winter.” They both did, as the winters in Terrasen were brutal. Each year there was always a small number of people that passed due to the cold for a number of reasons. When those lists made their way in Aelin's hands, it always hit her hard, her guilt a palpable thing, even after Rowan would tell her that it was in no way her fault.

But that wasn't the reasons for her consuming hunger and leg cramps—Rowan had noticed the change in her scent weeks ago and when he noticed, he thought that Aelin would too. But she was completely oblivious and he didn't want to spoil the surprise, although it was getting harder each day not to say something.

However, he couldn't help but count back the weeks to the day of conception. He was fairly certain that it was when Aelin had been reading a particularly steamy novel on the window seat in their sitting room and jumped on him like they had never had sex before when he had come to ask if she was joining him in bed.

It would fit in with list of unusual places they have conceived their children. Elentiya had been in the library (either in the archives or in Aelin and Rowan's private nook, neither were sure), Norrin against an oak tree (which they discovered after they have calmed down that the Little Folk had watched the entire encounter, with Aelin becoming stuck between wanting to laugh or hide under a rock), Alder against one of the many palace chimneys, and Isolde in a linen closet.

Maybe one day they would conceive a child in their bed like most people did.

They got to cooking, with Rowan standing behind Aelin and guiding her with the wooden spoon and plating their midnight meal before it burned into a crisp. Isolde babbled in her sleep as the sounds of cooking reached her, but still slept. It wouldn't be long, however, until she woke up to be fed. Aelin placed their youngest by her feet as they sat down at the small dining table in the far corner of the kitchen where the workers took their breaks.

The smile on Aelin's face as she bit into the fluffy omelette was certainly worth being woken up in the middle of the night.

However, her fork stilled in mid-air when she was halfway done when realisation dawned on her.

Finally.

“I'm pregnant,” was all she said, her Ashryver eyes growing wide. Rowan didn't bother to hide his smile. This was why he didn't say anything. It was always worth it when she revealed those beautiful words to him. “Rowan, I'm pregnant. The last time I was this hungry was when I was pregnant with Alder and the leg cramps are from Norrin's pregnancy. And all the fruit I can't stop eating is just like when I was pregnant with Isolde. How haven't I noticed anything?”

“You've been busy,” Rowan said, reaching over to take her hands in his and kissed her fingers.

“You knew, didn't you?” Aelin asked, her eyes narrowed just slightly.

“I may have noticed.”

“You should have told me.”

“I like it better when you come to the realisation yourself,” he said simply.

Aelin shot out of her seat and sat on his lap, a pretty smile gracing her face as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, her fingers playing the the hair at the nape of his neck. Rowan wound his arms around her waist and kissed her on the cheeks, the tips of her nose, the corner of her lips and then her mouth.

Aelin hummed contentedly and kissed him back. When they broke apart, she rested her forehead against his.

“We're insane.”

Rowan laughed deeply at the sudden statement. “What makes you say that?”

“We're having a fifth baby. Lorcan and Elide only have three and I always thought that they'd have at least a dozen, but they don't and we're about to have five. That's insane. We're insane.”

“We are, but I like that about us,” he said, kissing her again. Her face was open and soft, her eyes dancing with happiness, but he still found himself asking, “Are you okay with it?”

“Of course I am, buzzard. More than words can say.” Aelin kissed him to emphasise that fact, his hand reaching down onto her belly and was content to stay like that forever. She couldn’t believe how lucky she was. She always thought that she’d just have one child, maybe two, but to have five was something she never dreamed of.

Isolde finally decided to wake up and scream her displeasure at being hungry. Aelin was off him in an instant, cooing at their daughter as Aelin sat back in her seat and fed not just herself, but Isolde at the same time. His mate was spectacular at multitasking like that.

They couldn't wait to meet their fifth child.

X X X X X X

Rowan was surprised that his children hadn't kicked down the doors to the bedchamber with how excited they were. Even little Isolde was a ball of energy and she was by far their most quiet child. Rowan lead them to their mother, reminding them that they had to be quiet and gentle, because mama had just gone through a long process of bringing in their new sibling into the world.

They entered the bedchamber and Aelin greeted them with a tired but loving smile telling them to come meet their new sister, the kids went onto the bed, surrounding Aelin and the baby, happiness and wonderment in their eyes as they took in the little bundle of joy, her silver hair stark against her lightly tanned skin. She had opened her eyes briefly during her first feeding and Aelin had groaned playfully when she spotted that they were pine-green, muttering how of course I labour for a whole day to give birth to another you. But he knew that she didn't care if she was born with green hair and yellow eyes, Aelin loved her immensely.

“What's her name, mama?” Elentiya asked softly, carefully trailing a finger down her sisters cheek.

“Elowynn-Yrene.” Rowan would never forget the pure joy in Yrene's eyes when Aelin asked if the healer would give them her blessing to grace their child with her name, as a thank you for all the years of coming down and helping Aelin, for eradicating Erawan, and for being a great friend to both of them. It had taken them a few minutes to convince their friend, citing that the honour was far too much, but Yrene eventually said "yes".

“That's pretty,” Alder supplied, a wide smile on his face. Aelin kissed his temple and thanked him for his kind words.

Aelin moved her eyes from Alder to Rowan, smiling as her mate stood there, taking them in.

His family, their family. Never did he think he would be so blessed to have this.

His and Aelin's children; the most beautiful thing Rowan had ever seen.

Rowan went and joined his family on the bed, the smile on his face one of Aelin's favourites.

[hes-writer]

Trial (4)

Summary: harry and y/n face the truth

Warnings: angst, a tiny bit of fluff

Word Count: 4249 words

A/N: thank you so much for supporting this series !! @devilinbetweenthesheet-s. I will do the taglist later in the day :)

EDIT: idk why the ‘read more’ is not working. I apologize for the scrolling!!

Part 4 of the Tarnish series!

___

Harry was crying.

Admitting his feelings when he was younger was quite a task for him. Now that he was nearly in his thirties, the journey of being vulnerable with himself and with his feelings became easier with each emotion that he permitted himself to submerge in. Harry validated those emotions--he was allowed to experience them because it makes him human. It added texture to the ever-growing mosaic that painted who he was as an individual. Adding to the people that surrounded him, influenced by their kind-nature and the goodness of their heart to become who he was now.

And now, it seemed like his emotions increased tenfold. The clench of his abdomen and the harsh jolt of his chest forced his slouched shoulder to stay deflated. His breathing hitched as sobs threatened to take over, throat sore with the effort to keep it all in because Harry was smart enough to know that these emotions coursing through him right now were ones he wasn’t validated to feel. Paired with the latest information that that little girl being held by another man was his own daughter--and that the woman who was glowing with her caring, motherly-instincts was supposed to be his family; it broke him completely. 

Quaking thoughts circled his brain and punctured his muscles as if they were attacking him not only mentally, but physically as well in exchange for his past mistakes that he couldn’t quite place if he deeply regretted or not. Was it a mistake to cheat on Y/N? To leave her alone in the exposure of the public eye while she was carrying his child in her tummy? 

Harry should have known the day she fell sick and vomited in their kitchen sink. He was, sadly, too busy throwing a subdued celebration of finally having time alone with Camille. He should have noticed the way her face brightened with radiance. Or the way her cravings for strawberries and pickles either grossed her out or completely compelled her to consume more than she usually would. 

But Harry guessed that that was around the time his efforts went out the window because he didn’t have to pretend to care as much anymore. Camille appeared to be his one and only. With their relationship coming so close to being revealed and Y/N having one foot out the door, Harry let fate play out the rest. Don’t get him wrong, Harry still loved Camille; that was why his slashed heart still throbbed at the sight of her watching over her little cousin, yet knowing that the topic of children was still not a card on the table. 

The distress that he was feeling right now was core-shredding, heartbreaking grief that left a hole in his heart. The worst part was that Harry didn’t exactly know how to fix it or whether he even could. As he walked to his car with hands jammed into his pockets, he was grateful that the hood of his sweater hid his face and the tears sliding down the slope of his cheeks.

His senses were in overdrive, figuring out how to fix the mess he created. Wanting to run up to Y/N and ask her why she didn’t tell him, needing to feel his little girl in his arms. Pinching his skin to transfer the pain he felt in his heart because of the thought that he missed his baby’s first words, her first steps. Was it ‘dada’ that babbled out of her mouth? Did she reach out for Connor when she stumbled over nothing when she walked on stubby legs? Did Y/N mention his name to her?

“Harry!” 

He kept on walking despite the hushed call of his name, assuming that it was a fan that caught sight of him and wanted a picture. Harry adores them, but now is hardly the time to fake a smile or act like his life didn’t just flash right before his eyes--quite literally. 

The vehicle beeped as Harry pressed the ‘unlock’ button on his key fob, just about ready to pull the door open and shield himself from prying eyes. He flinched when a hand fell on his shoulder, “Harry,” 

He looked up to find Gemma panting, resting her hand on the roof of the car, “Are you. . .alright?” Her drifting eyes inspected his face, tinted a slight pink and moist with the salty liquid dripping from his tear ducts.

Huffing in annoyance, Harry clutched the handle to let himself in. Gemma followed his actions, shutting the door and locking it. The tinted windows of the car provided a semi-private enclosure that was filled with Harry’s sniffling and Gemma’s heavy breathing, trying to catch her breath. 

“H-her name is Halo,” Gemma began, gulping when Harry paused his ministrations, straining his ears to listen despite the dull thud occupying his vessels. “She’s almost two years old,”

“You said you didn’t know,” Harry’s gruff tone echoed. Gemma anxiously rubbed the ends of her palms against her jeans. “Why didn’t you tell me? You knew all this time and y’didn’t tell me,”

“I-I was--she didn’t want me--” 

“Why would she tell you and not me? I’m the one that dated her,” He raised his voice with every syllable he spoke. The frustration he felt from seeing the woman he once loved living the reality they shared together, except he wasn’t anywhere in the picture and that reality was only a fantasy in his life now. “It doesn’t make sense,” He rested his forearms on the wheel, facing the car’s symbol.

“The baby is yours, Harry,”

His head quipped with speed, grazing his forehead on the rounded leather but that pain didn’t amount to the new wave washing over him. “W-what?”

“It’s really not my place to tell,” Gemma said nervously, making eye contact with Harry’s searing yet teary gaze. “She wanted to tell you but you were so happy with Camille. She was posting these things on her Instagram about your trips and Y/N called me crying because you looked so free and happy without her. Y/N didn’t want to ruin what you guys had by dropping this on you,”

"That's-that's my baby?" Harry stuttered over his words while tugging his head out of his memories. Gemma nodded in confirmation. “Then why in the world was she--Halo?--calling him ‘dada’? 

“Look, Harry, you’re not stupid. You know why Halo called Connor her dad,” Gemma spoke slowly, “This is a conversation that you need to have with Y/N if she lets you,”

At the mention of the man’s name, Harry couldn’t help but be filled with anger. He barely knew this man yet he received everything that Harry wanted in life. ‘But she’s my kid. I’m her dad. I’m the one who’s supposed to give her kisses and make her laugh,” He mumbled quietly as if his inner thoughts were far too strong to be kept in his mind

He was staring mindlessly at the numbers on his dashboard, hands gripping the leather steering wheel to try and ground himself. "But if that's my baby, how can she call someone who's not her father, dad?" He whipped his head towards Gemma, searching for validation that would make him feel better but the siblings were aware that he lost that title three years ago. 

“I think you know you lost that place in their lives,” She reached a comforting hand to pat his arm, feeling just how tense he was under the fabric.

Harry shrugged her off, pinching his brows and pursing his lips as sadness began to swirl down the drain only to be replaced with resentment, irritation and bitterness. The taste on his tongue was hot with anger and his ears felt warm as he wheezed air instead of opting to yell his dissatisfaction near his sister. 

“This isn't fair. She's m’baby too. Connor is not her father,” He spat with venom, “I am,” A pointed finger poked his chest. "She knew she was pregnant when she left me. She’s so fuckin’ selfish. How could she do this to me? 

Gemma was quick to remind him of his actions, "You cheated on her, Harry.” Gemma cowered back at Harry’s beady eyes glaring at her with an unreadable emotion, stone-cold. “Maybe you should go home. Calm down a little bit,”

“No!” Harry cut Gemma off, “Need t’a hear her say it myself,” 

Harry didn’t know what his plan was when he harshly slammed the car door behind him, practically storming on the patches of grass like a mad man. It wasn’t hard to spot the picture-perfect family sitting on a park bench which brought a scowl to his shielded face. He wanted to give Y/N a piece of his mind and it wasn’t necessarily the nicest thoughts that crossed his brain. 

Halo was sitting on Connor’s lap while he was feeding her a peeled cupcake. Red velvet with cream cheese frosting—-Harry felt like he was punched in the gut. The baked good was Y/N’s specialty and it had a lot of sentimental value to both of them. It was what she baked for their first year together. He could vividly see her frosting-dotted nose, aiming to splotch the cream on his cheek while she laughed. Harry wrapped his arms around her, hugging Y/N from behind and proceeding to kiss her sweet cheek, leaving the perfect opportunity to stain his skin with the frosting. 

But he didn’t care if he was smashed headfirst into the cake (as long as it wasn’t ice cream cake)—Harry just wanted to see her smile and hear her laugh heartily. 

Y/N was snuggled on Connor’s shoulder, fixing Halo’s hair as she made grabby hands at the confection. He cannot lie--Connor was a handsome man. Harry rarely felt intimidated or insecure, but seeing that this man managed to snatch everything Harry could ever want seemingly in a blink of an eye; Harry felt very jealous. 

He pouted, eyes rimmed red and lips quivering wishing that Cory or Connor--whatever that little shit’s name was would disappear so that Harry could take his place instead. Actually, it was his spot in the first place. Only if he didn’t mess up, he thought. He missed Y/N so much! Seeing Y/N in her element of niceness and bright-gleaming smiles sent a truck full of sand down his throat as he gulped his emotion below the surface. The closer he got to them, his vision tunnelled towards Halo; brown, flouncy curls and a cute dimple embedded in her cheek as she giggled, accidentally knocking the cupcake on the ground.  

If that wasn’t symbolism staring at Harry straight in the face; a sign that their so-called relationship really had no chance of reprieve. Harry chose to ignore it.

Connor clutched Halo tightly against him, crouching down with a napkin to clean up the scattered cake on the ground. Y/N was the first to notice him, her forehead creasing as her eyes bulged at the sight of Harry walking towards them. She subtly poked at Connor’s arm, hurting Harry even more because it meant that Y/N felt uncomfortable with his presence. 

He was close enough to read her pink lips, “We should go,” matched with Y/N’s frantic actions of packing the juice boxes and the Tupperware of cupcakes into the tote bag beside her. Connor searched the park until his gaze landed on Harry, protectively shielding Halo from him. 

Is he serious? Harry thought. That’s my own daughter.

Speaking of Halo, the two-year-old happily continued munching on her new cupcake, frowning slightly when Connor stood up, “Why we leaving, Daddy? Did I do somethin’ bad?”

Y/N sighed, they promised that Halo could play at the park all day and now it was cut short because of a certain someone. 

“No, you didn’t, bub. Let Daddy explain at home, okay baby?” Connor hitched Halo higher on his hip, hoping that she wouldn’t ask any more questions until the trio left.

“Who’s that?” Halo asked, pointing at Harry only metres away from them. Her stubby finger outstretched at the stranger in front of her, eyes bright and sparkling with curiosity. There was no sign of recognition painting her green orbs. 

Harry gulped, wanting so badly to scream “I’m your dad!” but he knew that Y/N will add that to the list of his mistakes he had made. 

“No one, angel,” Connor planted a kiss on her head, looking over at Y/N who had finished packing everything up. He tilted his chin in an attempt to scare Harry off.

But the thing was, Harry was already scared. He could feel his stomach in his throat but vomiting wasn’t the right word to describe it. His heart drooped deeper than the levels of the Earth. He was scared because his family was right in front of him but he couldn’t touch them or hug them in his arms. He was only allowed to look from the outside because there was a small possibility of being forgiven.

“Y/N. . .” Harry began hesitantly. The surge of confidence he had decreased with each passing second. He kept a close eye.

Y/N shrugged the strap on her shoulder, “Leave us alone, Harry.”

He felt his anger disappearing, a new emotion cascading his tear ducts and the blood in his veins. Harry looked back in retrospect; she really did mean it when Y/N said that she never wanted him around again. “I just want to talk. Please, let’s talk,”

“She doesn’t want to talk to you, Harry,”  Connor interrupted, grabbing the bag from Y/N and wrapping an arm over her shoulder, guiding them away from Harry. “She’s happy without you, mate. can’t you see?”

Harry kept his gaze trained on Y/N’s face, actively avoiding eye contact but drifted when Halo’s frown caught his stare. The little girl’s chin was hooked over Connor’s shoulder, squirming in his arms in an attempt to stop him from walking. Halo was smart enough to know that Harry’s expression screamed sadness and her mummy said that “you need to find a way to make them happy” if someone was sad.

“Wait!” Her shrill yell caused both Connor and Y/N to turn around. A piece of Harry’s heart shattered on the floor when Halo pulled Connor down by the nape of his neck, small hand leading his ear next to her lips. Then, she did the same to Y/N, pointing at Harry which caused him to straighten his stance, wanting to impress his daughter even though there was no point.

The couple shared a look before ultimately having Connor walk closer to Harry. Halo gripped her cupcake towards him, “‘ere y’go hawwy,’ She still couldn’t pronounce her ‘r’s’ yet. 

Harry began to sob. 

It was his daughter and those were the first words she had uttered to him. She didn’t know him yet Halo treated him with kindness and it ripped at his chest because Y/N must’ve taught her that. His palms became wet as tears streamed from his eyes, dampening the sleeves of his hoodie. He didn't care about looking foolish in front of them, not when his daughter saw him as a stranger and called Connor her ‘dada’. 

Halo recoiled at the sudden reaction, her lips curving downwards, “Dada, mama, he’s cwyin’,” She tucked her face at the junction of Connor’s shoulder and neck, scared that she made him cry. Halo didn’t mean to make him cry. She felt so guilty that she started spilling tears of her own too, her face contorting into a scrunched expression as her mouth wailed open sobs, matching Harry’s. 

Harry’s first instinct was to take a step forward and comfort Halo but he was rendered frozen when Connor shot him a glare, shifting Halo’s body out of reach and he could only see her face over the man’s shoulder. Y/N dimmed her eyes, brows pinching when she couldn’t help but let a smidge of sympathy wash over her. She muttered a few words to Connor, pushing him by the small of his back towards the parking lot. 

When they were out of earshot, Y/N faced Harry, “What were you thinking? Are you trying to mess everything up again?” He tried to cut in, “Isn’t it bad enough that we’re talking about this in public? Why must you ruin everything, Harry?” She whisper-shouted, trying her best not to garner them any attention. 

“N-no, Gemma told me and I jus’ wanted to see her--and you. Wanted to hear the truth come out of your mouth,” His large hands jammed into his pockets to prevent him from fiddling with them. 

“Look, you have no right coming here,”

“I know that b-but I--,”

She held a palm up, “I’m not sadistic like you Harry. If you thought that I wouldn’t let you around her then you’re wrong. As much as I hate to admit it, I do miss you and I wish that you were there for us when we needed you,”

“I had no idea--,”

“Will you let me speak?” Her tone carried irritation. “But we’re alright now and we don’t need you anymore.”

Harry never thought that those statements would ever come out of Y/N’s mouth. “Don’t you think I deserve to get to know her?” 

She sighed, “Deserve? Definitely not.” He nodded in agreement. “But I’d live in regret if Halo never got to know her real father. . .”

Harry’s expression lit up, hopeful eyes shooting glances at her, “D-does that mea--? Are you--?”

“You can see her. You can get to know her but only because you’re Halo’s father,” Y/N took a brave step forward, ignoring the way her heart throbbed as if she was being stabbed by a thousand knives. Painful memories drifted in and out of her train of thought until she shook her head to muster them out. It was in the past but she could never forget the feeling of hopelessness taking over her whole body. 

With a hand on his shoulder, she continued, “Anyone can be a father and you’re just that. Don’t think that you’re entitled to anything more. You will never be her dad. Connor is. Understood?”

Harry took a deep breath and swallowed a heavy gulp, “I. . .understand. Thank you, Y/N. For letting me back in when I don’t deserve it,” He glanced at the two tiny figures piling in the car. He could just imagine himself plucking little Halo into her booster seat, booping her nose as she asked for the hundredth time why she had to sit at the back and not at the front with them. 

“I’m not finished,” She deadpanned, “You are going to be there for her. Not for me, not for us because our relationship is over. You can hurt me as you did before and I can accept it but don’t you dare try to hurt her,” 

And it was true. Having endured his painful game once before, Y/N was stronger now. She could take heartbreak as agonizing as that but she wouldn’t dare stand seeing Halo’s teary eyes staring back at her, asking why Harry had left them. She was far too young to experience the feeling when a piece of herself is ripped apart. 

“I won’t hurt her. I promise,”

“I heard those words come out from your mouth years ago and look where we are now. Once you hurt her, it’s over.”

“Y/N, t-that’s hardly fair. I am her dad, aren’t I?” Harry cleared his throat at Y/N’s raised brow.

“No, you’re not. We just went through this, Harry.”

“Don’t call me that,” He muttered quietly because she only ever called him ‘baby’ or ‘h’.

“Will you stop? I laid out my cards. If you want to even have a speck of presence in her life, then you have to abide by what I said,” She crossed her arms in defence, “You will never be Halo’s dad, Harry. Connor is her dad. I don’t know how many more times I have to repeat this before it gets through you thick head,”

He opened his mouth to talk, “No wiggle room whatsoever?”

“No. Do I have to write a letter for you to understand that?”

In a moment of hurt and despair, Harry spat out, “Might as well, yeah? Waited over two years to tell me anyway,”

“Are you kidding me?”

His throat ran dry, realizing that he just ticked another box to favour against being a part of his daughter’s life, “I-I’m sorry. I didn't mean to,”

“Whatever. Are you willing to make the sacrifice?”

“This isn’t the place to talk about this,” Harry suggested, wanting to have some sort of foot on the ground so he doesn’t feel like he’s topping over with guilt and sadness. “Maybe you can come over to my house,”

Y/N shook her head, glancing briefly at her phone when it buzzed, “No. I will not step foot in that house again. If you really want to discuss it, you can come over at our place,”

“Your place?” Did they all live together? Well, that was another slap to the face. Not only was Connor playing dad to Halo, but he was also part of the household. Harry’s face must have contorted into a grimace because Y/N sighed softly. 

“Yes, our place. Meaning all three of us,” She gestured behind her. “I have to go. You can probably get my number from Gemma; you can text me then.”

“Yes, yes! Of course, I want to talk to you. . . about this, I mean,” Harry lowered his enthusiasm. The small voice in his head reverberating that this was not about him and Y/N; this was about Halo. 

“And make sure you don’t bring anyone else,” Y/N said sarcastically, subtly pointing in the direction of the paparazzi hiding behind some bushes. Harry was usually good at spotting them but today was just a puddle of hurt and confusion. “I don’t want her having to read nasty things like I did,”

What Y/N said may have been a side comment, but Harry couldn’t help but take it to heart. Was this a good idea? Sure, he wanted to be a present dad in Halo’s life. However, is it worth it to stir unwanted drama? If only he didn’t cheat on Y/N, all of this could have been avoided. 

With his mind in a haze, Harry barely noticed Y/N’s figure moving away from him. He jogged to catch up with her, laying a gentle hand on her shoulder. Harry felt numb to the way she shrugged her touch off of her immediately, “Were you ever going to tell me about our daughter?’

Y/N stared at him quizzically, tilting her head a little bit sideways, “I thought I did? Wait!” A look of recognition plastered across her features, “I did try to tell you but you blocked me before the message sent through,”

Harry gulped with realization. He blearily remembered  bitterly blocking her number just as she texted “I need to tell you something,”

___

Y/N: Since you’re not picking up my calls

I need to tell you something

Y/N took a deep breath as her thumbs tapped on the letters slowly as if to withhold the news from him. She was not at all ready to reveal that she was pregnant and that he was the father but Y/N knew that it was the right thing to do. Despite the fact that he was currently out of the country on vacation somewhere on an island with sandy beaches with Camille. Y/N was aware that this spike of courage was rare and so, she had to do it now.

Y/N: I’m pregnant

And you’re the father

She locked the device as soon as she pressed the arrow to send the message, clutching the phone close to her chest and shutting her eyes so tightly that it hurt. Minutes passed with no response and Y/N was shouldered by curiosity to check if he had sent anything back or simply left her on ‘seen’. 

It was neither. The screaming red exclamation mark surrounded by a circle indicated that she had been blocked. 

___

The times when she left missed calls on his phone were for a reason much bigger than the two of them. Y/N didn’t call to beg for him back or to ask Harry to want her again. He was ashamed to admit that he had rolled his eyes upwards every time he clicked on a voicemail she had left, stating, “Hey H, it’s me. Call me back when you hear this. I need to talk to you,” which he deleted without a second thought. She didn’t text him endlessly to politely ask for her things packed and settled for her pick-up because Y/N could not bear to spend another second in a room with him.

It wasn’t that at all. 

Y/N was physically moving farther and farther away from him, settling herself into the car before driving off to hers and Connor’s shared house. Halo sat in the backseat, singing along to the radio.

Harry was surrounded amidst the joyful squeals of children and reprimanding voices of their parents.

He stood alone with no one but loneliness by his side and the brisk flash of cameras in his peripherals.

_____

Let me know what you thought!

———

Permanent Taglist: @splendidsunsetx @swagmoneymaya @textingharry @arypesanchez @theresthingsthatwellneverknow @mellamolayla @luviewoo

[ming-yu-hao]

Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder | Chapter 2

Pairing: fratboy!mingyu x female reader, some wonwoo x reader

Word Count: 6k

Synopsis: When you transferred to a different university, you and Wonwoo promised that you would make long distance work. But distance proves to be more difficult than you both originally thought.

This Chapter’s Tags: cyber sex lol, angst, CHEATING, grinding, oral (female receiving and male receiving), fingering, mingyu is just sweet and it makes me sad, kinda fluff?

Warning: THIS SERIES IS ABOUT CHEATING. DO NOT READ IF IT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE!

A/N: i really self indulged on this one... man i just wanna fuck frat boy mingyu is that too much to ask... anyways PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK OF THIS CHAPTER I PUT A LOT MORE TIME INTO THIS ONE so feedback would be very appreciated <3

Chapters: Previous | Next | Masterlist

Sunlight peeked through your blinds the next morning, stirring you awake. You opened your eyes and snapped them shut again as the glare of the sun blinded you. Yawning, you reached for your phone and squinted at the pile of unread messages from Jisoo that had built up over the span of last night.

Jisoo: omg what u were here for like 2 seconds :(

Sent at 10:49 PM

Jisoo: i hope u feel better babe

Sent at 10:49 PM

Jisoo: wait

Sent at 10:50 PM

Jisoo: did something happen with wonwoo

Sent at 10:50 PM

Jisoo: i swear if he's mad at you for being a normal college student...

Sent at 10:50 PM

Jisoo: bitch answerrrrr :(

Sent at 10:53 PM

Jisoo: i'm staying the night somewhere i hope ur feeling okay <3 pls update me when u wake up

Sent at 12:06 AM

You laughed under your breath as you realized that it was 10 AM and Jisoo's side of the room still remained empty. From how last night was going, you could only assume that she was somewhere with Seungcheol. Classic Jisoo, you thought to yourself.

Just as you sat up in bed, your phone vibrated with another notification. You glanced down, expecting another text from Jisoo, but your eyes lit up as you saw Wonwoo's name on the screen instead.

Wonwoo: good morning :) do you wanna facetime?

Sent at 10:27 AM

Without replying, you quickly opened up your laptop and called Wonwoo. He answered after a few rings, his face filling the screen for the first time in a month.

"That was fast," He laughed. He must had just woken up because his voice always had a distinct rasp in the morning. His glasses also still rested on his nose and you could see his bare chest at the edge of the frame.

You smiled warmly. "I've missed you," you said, leaning closer to the camera.

"I missed you too," he gave you a toothless smile and ran a hand over his face. "I'm sorry I kept ditching you."

You shook your head. "No, it's okay. I understand."

You stared at him for a moment, neither of you speaking; you almost didn't know what to say. After all this time, you felt like you didn't know anything that was going on in his life anymore. It was tearing at you slowly. You were watching your own boyfriend become a stranger to you.

Luckily, Wonwoo broke the silence. "What are you doing?" He asked.

You shrugged. "I just woke up. I need to shower."

He raised his eyebrows at you suggestively and chuckled. "Oh?"

"Shut up," you rolled your eyes as you snickered. Wonwoo rested his arm behind his head and smirked at you.

"Can you blame me? I haven't been inside you in so long." He groaned. You felt your face burn at his bluntness. You looked down at your hands, and he must have noticed your embarrassment because he quickly asked, "Your roommate isn't there, right?"

"No," you replied, gazing back up at his face.

"Why're you so shy?" He grinned devilishly.

"I'm not," you protested. You began to toy with the bottom of the big tee shirt you were wearing.

Wonwoo sighed loudly. "I'm horny."

"I can tell." You replied with a chuckle. You slowly pulled the hem of your shirt up farther until your underwear could be seen. Wonwoo noticed this, biting his lip.

"Fuck," he breathed, "I miss your tight little pussy." Your skin heated up with each word he spoke. You watched as he removed his arm from behind his head; your mind instantly filled with images of him stroking himself. "Touch yourself for me." Wonwoo demanded.

Without a word, you leaned back against your pillows and slowly spread your legs for the camera. The wetness between your thighs was so intense at this point that your underwear was clinging to your folds.

Wonwoo let out a deep groan as he touched himself off camera. Your skin flushed even further as you watched his face contort in pleasure. "Take off your shirt," he muttered.

You obeyed, pulling the fabric over your head and leaving yourself mostly exposed. Your breasts bounced in view of the camera as you leaned forward and pulled your underwear down your legs. Wonwoo moaned, his head leaning back and exposing the veins in his neck. "Fuck, you're gonna make me cum already."

You giggled and leaned back against the pillows again, this time exposing your nude body to him. You dragged your hand down to your heat and began to run your fingers through your folds. You let out a whine at the long-awaited contact. Your other hand squeezed at your breast, stimulating your sensitive nipples.

"Shit," Wonwoo hissed, "If I was there I'd be fucking you so hard. Making you moan my name for everyone to hear." You felt yourself clench at his filthy words. You bit your lip and rubbed your clit in circles.

"Mmh, shit." You moaned. "I miss you so much. Miss feeling your cock inside me." You heard Wonwoo's breathing grow heavier on his end of the line. You could tell he was going to cum soon. You pushed two fingers inside you, desperate to release.

Curling and scissoring your fingers deep inside you, intense pleasure began to take over your body. You threw your head back and whined loudly as you felt your orgasm approach. "Wonwoo," you moaned.

Wonwoo let out a choked moan at the sound of you moaning his name. "Fu- I'm cumming," he stuttered as he finally released.

You continued to pump your fingers inside of you while Wonwoo started to slow his breathing again. "Cum, baby," he said. You brought your other hand down to your clit and rubbed it in figure eights. Your legs twitched with pleasure, your walls clenching and pulsing around your fingers.

You cried out as your orgasm finally washed over you, your head falling back against the pillows behind you. You kept your eyes closed for a few seconds as you basked in the pleasure. Your heavy breathing began to calm.

When you opened your eyes, you saw Wonwoo wiping his hand with a tissue. He glanced at you and smiled. "Now that," he whistled as he laid back down against his mattress, "was unbelievably hot."

Your cheeks burned and you reached for your shirt to pull back over your head. "We should do that more often," he said.

You laughed. "Maybe."

Wonwoo sat up after a moment. "What time is it?" He asked.

You glanced at the clock. "Almost 11."

He groaned in frustration. "Fuck, I have to go. I have a group study soon."

"Oh," you replied.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly as he rose out of bed. "I'll call you Saturday, okay? I love you." You nodded silently.

"I love you too," you said right as he ended the call.

And then you were left alone, with sweat sticking to your skin and your soaked underwear balled up next to you. You shut your laptop and sat in silence for a few moments, staring out the window as you felt disappointment settle over you.

That was the first time you had seen his face in a month. Hell, that was the first full conversation you two had shared in so long. And it was over as quickly as it had begun.

Anxiety coursed through your veins. Was that all you had become to your boyfriend now? Just a number that he could call when he wanted to get off? Were you no longer someone he confided in?

You shook yourself out of your worried thoughts. Finally, you stood and walked over to the bathroom, your legs still a little weak beneath you, and turned the shower water on.

You stared at yourself in the mirror while you waited for the water to heat up. Your mind flashed with images of last night—of Mingyu staring down at you, his lips nearly brushing against yours, and the sound of you moaning his name.

You had told yourself that it had only affected you because you missed Wonwoo. Then how were you still left feeling unsatisfied after what just happened between you two?

Things were not the same as they once were, you noted as you stepped under the stream of hot water.

When you walked into your digital media class on Tuesday morning, you were hyperaware of each little movement you made. You kept your gaze fixated on the ground and carefully trotted up the stairs until you reached the row you always sat in. Glancing up, you saw Mingyu through the corner of your eye, his attention captured by his phone.

The sound of you setting your bag down was enough to pull him away from his device and look over at you. You sat down and stared forward, refusing to make eye contact with him. Your face started to burn in embarrassment; you didn’t know how you were going to make it through this class.

“Hey, I’m sorry about Saturday,” he paused, “I was drinking and I didn’t know what I was doing.” He said, breaking the silence. You forced yourself to finally look at him. He was back in his usual state: clean, pushed back hair and muscles concealed by his hoodie. You could see genuine remorse in the shine of his eyes and in the slight pout of his lip.

You shook your head. “No, no. It’s okay. I’m not mad at you.” You reassured him. His troubled expression seemed to lighten up a bit at your words. He gave you a small smile and nodded his head.

“Good. Otherwise this class would’ve been a lot more awkward.” He chuckled and returned his attention to his phone.

You observed him for a minute, noticing the way he chewed on his bottom lip in concentration. Your body flushed again as you thought about his lips: how close they were to yours, the words they whispered to you, how you imagined they would feel against you skin. You tore your gaze away from Mingyu, your heart beating a little faster than before.

You needed to get a grip. There was no way you were going to make it through the rest of this semester if you spent every class getting flustered while reminiscing your half-asleep-wet-dream-fantasy of Mingyu.

Sighing and choosing to ignore the pressing thoughts in the back of your mind, you pulled out your laptop and buried yourself in your notes until the professor strolled into the room and began the lecture.

You managed to successfully ignore Mingyu’s presence for most of the class, despite him sitting only a few feet to your side. You were only reminded of his existence again when your professor announced: “We will be working on a project for the next week. Everybody needs a partner.”

You and Mingyu glanced at each other, as the two of you normally collaborated on assignments in class. He nodded and gave you a thumbs up before you returned your attention to the professor.

“You will write two articles on events or people in the community. For the first, one of you will write and the other will be responsible for photography. For the second, you switch.” He explained briefly.

The lecture came to an end a few minutes later, and the room instantly started buzzing with conversation as students stood up and scrambled to find partners. You turned to Mingyu and gave him a tight-lipped smile.

“I guess I should get your number so we can talk about the project?” Mingyu suggested, pulling out his phone.

“Uh... yeah, okay,” You replied awkwardly as you typed your number into his phone. You cursed yourself internally for letting this happen. This class used to be fun: you and Mingyu casually talked and exchanged answers and cracked jokes with each other and that was that. You didn’t know much about his life, and you didn’t need to. Hell, you didn’t even know he was part of a fraternity. But now that was all ruined. You couldn’t even look at him without feeling small and awkward. And all of this was to blame on some cheap alcohol and your stupid hormones.

You pulled yourself out of your thoughts as you handed Mingyu’s phone back to him. “So, do you have any ideas?” You prompted.

Mingyu’s face contorted as he thought for a moment. “Um, my frat’s doing some charity event this week,” he said. When you didn’t respond for a moment, he panicked and added, “I don’t know if it’s a good idea. We can just-“

“It’s perfect.” You cut him off, snickering at his uncertainty. “Since you know more about it, you can write that one, and I can come and take pictures.” Relief flooded his features and he let out a breath. “When is it?” You asked.

“Thursday.”

“I’ll see you there, then,” you smiled.

The next day passed quickly and before you knew it, the evening of the fundraiser had arrived. You and Mingyu had texted casually the past couple of days; he just gave you details on the fundraiser and tried to come up with an article idea for you.

You strolled through campus on that Thursday afternoon, wrapping your denim jacket around your torso a little tighter as a chilled breeze blew through the air. The brisk atmosphere of late autumn was finally starting to settle in. You quickened your pace, wanting to reach the university quad before you froze.

As you neared the quad, you could hear distant chatter and laughter. You rounded the corner and took in the view of the surprisingly large crowd that gathered near the booth the SVT frat had set up. They were having a raffle for a voucher for free textbooks. Whoever came up with the idea was genius; you couldn’t think of a better way to get broke college students to participate in something.

You walked up to the booth, camera bag in hand, and immediately recognized the boy sitting behind it. It was Seokmin. His eyes lit up as he saw your familiar face. “Hey! Y/N, right?” He greeted you. You told him yes and smiled before greeting him back.

“Do you know where Mingyu is?” You asked, scanning over your shoulder for the tall boy.

Seokmin squinted as he stood up and looked around the quad. “Uh, he was somewhere around here earlier.” He rolled his eyes and chuckled. “He’s probably off being an idiot.” You laughed and fiddled with the camera in your hands.

Just as you were about to ask if you could take a picture, someone shook your shoulders from behind. “Y/N! What are you doing here?” Jisoo bounced in front of you, Seungcheol by her side.

“Jisoo? I didn’t realize you were a member of the frat now?” You joked before holding up the camera. “I have to take pictures for a class project.” You explained.

Seungcheol wrapped his arm around Jisoo’s waist and said, “You can take a picture of us.” She agreed excitedly, already posing and smiling before you even pulled out the camera.

You stepped back and looked through the lens, making sure that the booth was visible in the background. “Okay, say cheese!” You said as you snapped the picture.

A pair of hands then poked you in your sides, causing you to yelp loudly and nearly drop the camera. You whipped your head around and saw Mingyu’s taunting face smirking down at you. “Hey, Y/N.”

“God, you scared me! You’re lucky I didn’t drop the camera.” You cried, playfully smacking him in the arm.

Mingyu held his hands up next to his face in defense. “Woah, sorry. My bad.” He chuckled. Jisoo and Seungcheol approached you two, butting in on your conversation.

“You know Mingyu?” Seungcheol asked, glancing between you two and raising his eyebrows.

“Yeah, we’re partners for a project.” Mingyu explained briefly while checking over his shoulder. He turned to you. “Let’s go take these pictures fast, yeah? It’s kinda cold.” Before you could even respond, he linked his arm with yours and walked you away from the booth and into the small crowd of students.

You furrowed your eyebrows and looked up at him. “We got out of there fast.” You noted.

Mingyu sighed. “Yeah, sorry. Cheol’s just weird about certain stuff.”

You were even more confused now. “What do you mean?”

“He just like- he tries to set me up with people all the time and I don’t want him the get the wrong idea of us.” He dismissed quickly before saying: “Why don’t you get some pictures of the people standing around here? Just take a few. We don’t need that many.”

“Oh... okay.” You responded hesitantly. You lifted the camera up again and snapped a couple more pictures of students conversing and walking up to the booth to buy raffle tickets. Mingyu stood next to you with his arms crossed over his chest, impatiently tapping his foot. He flashed you a relieved smile when you turned to him.

“All done?”

“We should be.” You replied while placing the camera back in the bag.

“Okay, we can go back to the house and work on the article together,” he said, “there’s gonna be some people from here hanging around there later but they shouldn’t be too loud.”

You agreed and began walking with him towards the SVT frat house. The sun was beginning to set now, and the air nipped at your exposed skin as the temperature continued to drop. You stared down at your shoes while you walked, your mind still fixating on Mingyu’s strange behavior.

Finally, you mustered up the courage to ask: “Are you okay?”

Mingyu’s eyes met with yours. Confusion overtook his features in response to your question. “Yeah?” He chuckled.

“Sorry,” you spoke, “you were just acting weird earlier.”

Mingyu sighed and stared ahead silently for a moment. “I don’t know,” he started, “I guess I just still feel bad about last weekend.”

Your heart fluttered in your chest as you revisited the memory once again.

“Sorry for bringing it up again. I know we should probably just move on already cause it wasn’t that big of a deal. I just... feel like I overstepped. So... I’m sorry.” He rambled.

You looked up at him again. “You don’t have to feel bad. I’m not mad at you.” You exhaled. “But you’re right... we should just move on.”

Mingyu gave you a small nod before changing the subject. “Did you figure out an article idea yet?”

You shook your head. “No, but it’ll be fine. There’s so much that goes on around campus.”

Your conversation slowly died out, but thankfully you arrived at the SVT frat shortly after. Mingyu opened the front door and allowed you to step through before walking in behind you and shutting it. The house was warm; you shivered as your skin adjusted to the change in temperature. You slipped your shoes off and stared at him expectantly, waiting for him to guide you through the house.

Mingyu led you to the dining room, crying out as he rounded the corner. “Seriously, Seungkwan?” He huffed.

A boy sat at the head of the table, textbooks sprawled across the surface. A few other people sat at the table with notebooks and laptops in front of them, watching Mingyu with confused expressions on their faces.

The boy—Seungkwan—stood up from his chair with his jaw dropped. “What do you mean ‘seriously, Seungkwan’?” He mocked Mingyu’s deep voice. “You know I have group study every Thursday!” He cried.

Mingyu rolled his eyes. “Whatever.” He responded.

Seungkwan sat back down and calmly resumed his studies as if nothing had happened. You assumed that this must be typical behavior between the two. Staring at Mingyu with wide eyes, he turned to you.

“Is it fine if we go work on it in my room?” He asked, his voice lowered.

You felt blood rush through your ears. You swallowed. “Yeah,” you exhaled.

Mingyu led you up the stairs and down the hall. When he opened the door to his room, you were surprised by how clean it was. Everything was organized neatly and the room smelled fresh.

You heard the door click shut behind you, and your heart started beating faster.

“We can just sit on the floor,” Mingyu spoke. His deep voice startled you a bit. You walked further into the room and sat down with your legs crossed, resting your back against his bed frame as you set the camera down next to you. Mingyu sat down, his knee only a few inches away from yours.

Reaching behind his head for the laptop sitting on his bed, he pulled it into his lap and opened up the article.

“I’m not completely done yet.” He smiled sheepishly while rubbing the back of his neck.

“It’s fine. You’re farther than I am.” You reassured him while you took the camera out of the bag again.

He laughed, “That’s true.” You placed the camera in his hands. “Alright, let me just get these pictures pulled up on here.”

You nodded and looked down as you played with your hands. You began to wonder what Wonwoo would think if he knew that you were in some other guy’s room right now.

You frowned and pulled your phone out of your pocket. You opened up your messages and went to send a text to Wonwoo when you realized that the message you had sent him last night was still unread. A dark, heavy feeling settled over your chest. Why did he act as if you didn’t exist anymore? Why would he suggest doing long distance when he couldn’t even commit to it?

You shut your phone off and set it on the floor next to you, staring forward. You exhaled, trying to stop the tightness growing in your throat.

Mingyu was leaned over his computer, his lips pursed in concentration. The definition of his triceps was visible through his sweatshirt. “These pictures actually didn’t turn out too horrible.” He said after a few moments of silence.

You laughed and playfully hit his shoulder. “Shut up.”

He brought his gaze to meet yours, a teasing smile on his lips. “No, they’re actually good.”

“Thanks,” you squeaked, the intensity of his gaze making you nervous. You felt blood rush through your veins. You broke eye contact, glancing down at his nose, and then at his lips that were parted slightly. You quickly looked up to his eyes again, but now they held a knowing look in them. He knew exactly what thoughts were going through your mind.

You inched closer to him, your breath getting caught in your throat as you noticed him bringing his face closer to yours. Your heart raced as you fluttered your eyes shut. His lips brushed against yours and you leaned closer, but then you felt him pull away.

“Do you really have a boyfriend?” He asked.

You sighed, opening your eyes slowly and looking into his concerned ones again. You pressed your lips into a line and looked down shamefully.

“I do,” you admitted. That tight feeling in your throat began to come back. Mingyu was silent. “I’m sorry.”

As you spoke your voice cracked and tears began to spill from your eyes. You felt Mingyu’s warm, soft skin caress your cheeks, holding your face in his hands. You looked up at him with teary eyes.

“Hey. Shhh, don’t cry.” He whispered. His brows were furrowed in concern as he ran his thumb over your cheek. “You can talk to me about it. I’ll listen.”

God, how you hated that he knew exactly what to do and what to say. You hated that he was giving you everything you had craved the past two months without even realizing it. You hated how he made it so easy to confide in him when you had a boyfriend that was supposed to be there for you instead—a boyfriend that was becoming a stranger to you.

You closed your eyes, causing more tears to fall down your face. “I’m sorry,” you said again, your voice a broken whisper.

You inhaled a shaky breath. “We’re long distance. But he barely talks to me anymore.” You explained. You brought your hand up to hold the wrist that was still caressing your face. “I just feel so alone. It feels like he’s given up on me.”

Mingyu was silent. The only audible sound in the room was your uneven breathing.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said, “you deserve better than that.”

You felt your heart flutter in your chest at his sweet words.

“What do you want?” He questioned.

You opened your eyes. You were no longer crying, but your face was still wet with tears. Mingyu was staring at you with that same concerned look: eyebrows furrowed, eyes wide and conflicted, lips slightly parted.

“I just want someone to care.” You muttered.

He brought his face closer to yours again. His tongue darted out to lick his lips, and his eyes were half shut as he whispered: “I can take care of you.”

Your breath hitched.

“Do you want that?” He asked.

“Yes.”

Mingyu finally brought his lips to yours, kissing you hard and passionately. He left slow, open-mouthed kisses against your lips. The hand on your face gently squeezed, puckering out your lips as he continued to kiss them.

You brought your hands up to his hair, running your fingers through his soft locks as he pulled you into his lap. Your hips rested on top of his, straddling him, and you felt his tongue dart out against your lips. You parted your lips, allowing him to slip his tongue into your mouth and deepen the kiss.

You ground your core into his lap, feeling his length begin to harden beneath the fabric of his jeans. He groaned into your mouth as you continued to move your hips back and forth.

This is all that you had wanted: someone to care for you, to touch you, to pay attention to you and make you feel wanted.

Mingyu brought both of his hands down to your hips, pushing you down against him as he lifted his hips up towards you. “Let me make you feel good,” he muttered against your lips.

You exhaled shakily, feeling the growing wetness between your legs. “Okay,” you whispered.

He placed his hands on your ass, roughly squeezing the soft flesh between his hands. You circled your hips again, letting out a quiet moan as his hard cock brushed against your clothed clit.

He pulled his lips away from yours. “Stand up,” he said quickly. You obeyed, peeled yourself off of him, and stood expectantly as he stood up from the floor himself. You could see the outline of his cock in his jeans as he rose. He towered over you now, making you feel small beneath him. He pushed your jacket off your shoulders, letting it fall to the floor, and his fingers played with the hem of your shirt.

“Can I take this off?” He whispered into your ear. You nodded silently and he pressed a soft kiss beneath your ear. He lifted the fabric up, pulling it over your head and exposing your body to him. His hands brushed against your waist, making goosebumps form on your skin. “Lay down,” he demanded.

You sat down at the edge of his mattress and laid on your back, bunching your legs up at the edge of the bed. He leaned over your body, caging you in by resting both of his forearms on either side of you, and placed another kiss to your lips. Just as he began to kiss down to your neck, he pressed his hardness against your center. You let out a whimper at the contact.

He nibbled and sucked at the soft skin of your neck, causing your entire body to tingle. You leaned your head back, exposing more of your neck to him, and your eyes rolled back into your head at the pleasure.

“Mingyu,” you whimpered. He pressed his clothed length against you again.

“Fuck,” he hissed. He placed more open-mouthed kisses against your neck as he ran one of his hands down your stomach. He brought his hand up again and squeezed your breast through your bra.

He pulled away from your neck, looking down hungrily at your chest. You noticed this and complied to his wishes by arching your back against the bed. He brought his hands behind you, unhooking your bra before pulling it off of you slowly. He exhaled as he stared at your bare chest.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said. You felt heat rush to your face at the compliment. Before you could say anything, he brought his mouth down to your breast, sucking and flicking his tongue against your hardened nipple. You gasped. At this point you were so turned on you were sure that your arousal had already soaked through your leggings. He squeezed your other breast with his hand, and you arched your back again as you moaned.

Mingyu pushed himself up, staring into your eyes with his lust-filled ones. He kept eye contact with you as he pulled away, nearing your core. His fingers slipped under the waistband of your leggings. He looked to you for approval, and you nodded your head rapidly.

He tugged your pants down quickly and slid them off your legs, leaving you in only your underwear. He could see the wet spot on the fabric; he brought his fingers to the cloth and pressed it against your clit. Your legs twitched and you gasped quietly.

Mingyu chuckled. “Shit, you’re so fucking wet for me.” He licked his lips, and you could see the pride in his gaze as he slipped his fingers beneath your underwear and pulled them down your legs.

He brought his face close to your center, smirking before finally bringing his tongue to you and licking a strip up to your clit.

You let out a choked moan and your legs shut naturally, but Mingyu placed both of his hands on your knees and spread you open for him again. He placed a soft kiss on your clit before sucking on it harshly. Your hips jerked up and you cried out.

He looked up at your from between your thighs, an alarmed look on his face. “You have to be quiet, baby. There’s people downstairs.” He went back to sucking on your clit right after.

You pressed your lips together, trying to contain your moans, and they came out as heavy pants and muffled whimpers instead.

Mingyu brought his fingers to your core, teasing your entrance. He flicked his tongue against your clit as he pushed a finger into you and curled it deep inside you. You arched your back and cried out, “Fuck!”

As the pleasure continued to grow, you brought your hands down to his hair again, tugging each time he pumped and curled his finger in you. He moaned against your core, the vibrations making your eyes roll back into your head.

He pushed in another finger, scissoring them deep inside you. You could hear the filthy sounds of his fingers pumping into your wetness.

“M-Mingyu,” you moaned. “I’m gonna cum.”

He smirked against your core before resuming his ministrations of his tongue against your clit. He pumped his fingers into you faster and curled them with each thrust.

The pressure in your lower stomach was growing fast. Your legs began to shake as the pleasure built, and when Mingyu pushed his fingers deep into your core, you felt the knot snap.

You threw your head back as intense pleasure washed over your entire body. Your legs convulsed and you couldn’t hold back a particularly loud moan. Mingyu continued to pump his fingers into you slowly as you rode out your orgasm.

When the pleasure subsided, he pulled his fingers out of you, keeping eye contact with you as he placed them in his mouth and sucked them clean. The sight was so dirty that you whimpered softly. He leaned over you again, kissing you one last time, allowing you to taste yourself.

He rolled over, laying next to you on the bed and staring up at the ceiling. “How was that?” He asked.

“Good,” you breathed, “really fucking good.”

He chuckled under his breath. “I’m glad I could help.”

You sat up, glancing at the obvious boner that still strained against his jeans. “What about you?” You prompted.

“I’m fine. It’ll go away.” He dismissed, throwing an arm over his eyes. “Just lay down with me.”

You bit your lip, thinking for a moment before palming him through his jeans. “But I wanna make you feel good. It’s only fair.”

He hissed at the contact, his hips jerking up a bit. “Shit,” he muttered, removing his arm and placing it behind his head.

He watched you with half-lidded eyes as you fumbled with the button of his pants. You pulled them down, reaching your hand into his boxers and pulling out his cock. It was big. Really big. You were honestly worried if you were going to be able to fit it in your mouth. You stared at it for a moment, wide-eyed.

Mingyu looked down at you and giggled. “Well? Do something.”

You pumped your hand up his shaft, swiping over the tip and collecting the pre-cum that was leaking out. You pumped him a few times before situating yourself between his legs and bringing your lips down to his tip.

You rubbed your lips against his leaking head of his cock before pressing a soft kiss to it. Finally, you wrapped your mouth around him and sucked on the head. He groaned and lightly jerked his hips up, forcing more of his cock into your mouth. You glanced up at him while you continued to suck, pushing more of him into your mouth.

He stared back at you with his mouth hung open. “Fuck. ‘M so hard.” He moaned before leaning his head back against the mattress. “I’m not gonna last long.”

You swirled your tongue around him while he was in your mouth. Then you pushed your head down further, taking him deep into your throat. You struggled to inhale through your nose, almost choking on his dick.

You pulled yourself off him, catching your breath, and continued to pump his length. You brought your head back and sucked him into your mouth, using your hand to stroke whatever you couldn’t fit in your mouth.

Mingyu was panting and jerking his hips up each time you swirled your tongue around his tip. You looked up and saw his head thrown back, the veins in his neck prominent as he clenched his teeth. He hit the back of your throat and you moaned against him, the vibrations causing him to gasp.

“Fuck! Fuck, I’m cumming.” He cried. You kept him in your mouth as the strings of hot liquid met your tongue.

You kept sucking on his length until you swallowed around him. You pulled yourself off his cock with a pop and stuck out your tongue to show him that you swallowed everything.

He pushed his softening cock back into his boxers and motioned for you to come up next to him. “Let’s lay down.”

You laid down on his chest and he pulled a blanket up to cover your nude body. You closed your eyes and listened to the softness of his breathing and the faint beat of his heart beneath his ribs.

“Shouldn’t we work on the project?” You asked after a few moments.

“No, it’s fine. Let’s just rest for a minute.” He said, running a hand gently down your back. You leaned into his soft touch.

The two of you laid in a comfortable silence, just basking in the calmness and in each other’s warm presence.

“Mingyu?” You broke the silence, looking up at him.

“Hm?” He hummed, meeting your eyes.

“Thank you.”

[thisnoodlewritesao3]

AAA HI IM HERE FOR THE LATE EVENT😙😙 COULD PLS HAVE KAGEYAMA + WITH THE AU WHERE "Everyone is born with a unique number only they and their soulmates have" + ANGST TO FLUFF PLS 🥺🥺 THAK YOU FOR LETTING ME DO THIS LATE I APPRECIATE YOU AND LOVE YOU MWAH HAVE A GOOD DAY DARLING

Okay, so, I sort of went on a wild one with this one. And I hope you like this because ya know, it is definitely angst and there is some fluff, but it was getting so long and it’s already like nearly 2k words i think. lemme check. yeah, 1.7k words. omg. i did love this little story i made so i hope you do skjfhdskjfhsdfsdkf

----

Life, for you, was perfect.

In a world of soulmates, you were one of the lucky few that had actually managed to meet your destined other half. 

You met Fujinaga Souta when you were 8 years old - barely a second year in elementary school - you’d transferred to his school a few weeks into the year, when friend groups had been established and you were left to try and find a place where you could be.

It wasn’t like you were sitting in the seat next to him, and he picked up a pen you’d drop on the ground. It actually wouldn’t be until you were 10 years old that you’d ever talk to him.

Because Fujinaga Souta felt like he was a thousand miles ahead of you, so close yet so out of reach in everything he did. He played volleyball so beautifully, setting with ease and wonder that you couldn’t help but be captivated by him. You had a crush with a boy who didn’t know you existed, and back then it felt okay, because you could always imagine what it felt like to hold hands with him. When his blue eyes found yours, you’d melt, and feel the warm spread to your cheeks before turning away. Black hair that dangled in front of his eyes.

A small group - including him and you - were talking one day, and he started complaining about the way his hair fell in front of his eyes. Being the person you were, you offered a clip to keep it out of his eyes. Being the person he is, he accepted.

It was at that moment he finally paid attention to the numbers that traced along your jaw. 539268. The ones that matched his own perfectly. He almost screamed, pushing your head to the side so he could get a closer look and ensure he wasn’t reading it wrong (you’d complain later in life that this is where your neck problems came from, but you both knew it was from your posture). After he was done pointing and rambling, he pulled down his sock to reveal the numbers on his ankle. 539268.

You almost fainted. It was strange. Your friends exclaimed how lucky you were - because he was a popular boy, loved by so many.

You were 11 when you found out he was your soulmate.

When you told your mother, she immediately set up a celebration; you couldn’t have been more embarrassed, but Souta made it feel like the most normal thing in the world.

Souta was your world. That’s why when he started to get sick, you were by his side as often as you could be. Each day at school would be filled with messages you’d send to him about things you would do when he got out of the hospital.

Only he never got out of the hospital.

On February 16th, 2012, Souta passed away.

Ripped from your arms before you’d gotten a chance to live.

You spent so many months locked away in your room, crying and screaming from the physical pain losing him had caused you. Your only solace was the pile of shirts his mother had let you have because she recognised how painful it was to lose someone who would be the one to know you better than you knew yourself.

The first time you visited his grave made your soul weaker and you could only cry as you clawed at the dirt.

The first day at your high school - which you started months later than most - was like hell. Everyone had heard of you, of the girl who lost her soulmate. They offered empty condolences that you had to pretend made things better.

The first friend you made - a sweet girl named Yachi Hitoka - didn’t pretend she knew what it felt like. In fact, she didn’t even make you talk about Souta at all (for that, you were grateful). She filled up your world with notes and studying, a pleasant distraction from a world outside of your own.

Your friendship with Yachi remained in the classroom, but that was fine by you. She had her own worries and troubles.

A few months in, and you weren’t crying as much anymore. Your heart still yearned for his touch, but you found some love in visiting his grave and telling him about your days, hoping that, by some miracle, he could still hear you.

The first time you see someone that looks so much like him, you’re sure you’re hallucinating that it sends you back into a spiral.

Kageyama Tobio. That was his name. The one you’d silently curse when you saw him in the halls; the one that made you move further away from Yachi when you learnt she’d been tutoring him; the one that looked so much like your soulmate it opened up the tear in your heart.

It wasn’t like you had to interact with him, you didn’t, he wasn’t in your class, wasn’t in your club, you didn’t have anything in common with him. Not until you walked to the vending machine one lunch and stood for too long trying to work out what to get and heard his gruff voice, “can you hurry up?” He grumbled.

You didn’t even take the time to glare over your shoulder before you chose milk, just because it was easier - that, and it was the last carton and something about the blue on it made you think of Souta again. How were you supposed to know that milk just happened to be this boy's favourite drink? You weren’t.

That wasn’t the last run in you would have with Kageyama Tobio - much to your demise - it only got worse through your second and third years, where your visits to Souta’s grave became more filled with anxiety about your future.

It isn’t until one Summer day during your second year that you seem an all too familiar face standing next to Souta’s grave (or the one next to it).

You try your best to ignore Kageyama as you kneel down in front of your soulmate's grave, but his eyes seem to find you immediately. “Do you mind if I talk?” You ask, not looking up at him for fear you might break. He didn’t answer, so you took matters into your own hands.

You talked to Souta about this week. About how you visited his family the day before and how his mom said you were growing to be a lovely young woman. About how you hadn’t cried this week, and you were proud of yourself. You told him that nothing exciting had happened since he was gone, and that the world seemed to lose more colour with each passing day.

You were talking without realising you had someone actually listening.

“Does that help?” He asked without thinking. Maybe he made a mistake, because the light in your eyes seemed to flutter out, but you answered him nonetheless.

“I guess so, although I’m not doing it to help.” You sighed, brushing your fingers over the petals on the flowers placed there by someone. “I’m doing it because I love him, and he deserves to hear this. To talk to me. Ya know?” And he nodded as if he understood - but you knew he didn't.

That was the start of a small arrangement with Kageyama Tobio. Once a week, he’d show up at the graveyard (not just because you were there, but also because that was where his grandfather was buried). You’d both talk to your respective people, and it was nice.

You stopped seeing Kageyama as a wrong version of Souta and started seeing him for himself.

One day, near the end of your third year, you somehow end up arguing with Kageyama. “Yeah, well, you hated me for no reason all throughout my first year.” He bit back at a comment you made and you shoved your hands into your hair gripping the roots (why is the only thing you can think is how your Souta would never act like this).

“I didn’t hate you!” You cried back.

“Then what was it?” He hissed.

You wanted to explode, everything hurt all over again.

“You reminded me of him. Of Souta.” You said, hoping he wouldn’t ask for an explanation.

“But I’m not him, so how?”

That was enough for you to realise that Kageyama had never seen what Souta looked like. He wasn’t aware of the fact that he was the spitting image of your soulmate. So, as you’re rummaging through your bag for a picture you kept on you, you start explaining to him. “Because Souta was sweet, and kind, and considerate, and loving.” You say, and you can tell he’s confused. “And you’re sweet but blind, kind but dense. Not quite as considerate and loving, but you try even when it doesn’t look like you are.” You sigh, ignoring the pang of pain in your heart. “You play volleyball - a setter - and you play it so effortlessly. You remind me of him in every single way without knowing it, but I know it and it hurt me. It still hurts me. Because how am I meant to feel when I look up at you and somehow stopped seeing him and started seeing you?” You ask, though you aren’t really asking him. It’s a general question.

You manage to find the picture and pass it to him. His reaction speaks a thousand words, the way his eyes widen because this boy does look like the spitting image of him and he can see why you were hurt by him.

He explains that he didn’t understand what the big deal about soulmates was until he met you. That the reason he’d never really cared about that was because he was born without a soulmate mark (you traced the numbers on your jaw); he had to be like the many who just had to make their own soulmates, but he’d never even have the option to meet a soulmate. You almost felt ashamed. He told you you didn't need to feel ashamed.

That night, as you sat watching a movie to forget about the argument, you’d experience your first kiss with a boy that wasn’t your soulmate. You didn’t feel any guilt about it. Because you knew Souta would want you to be happy.

You and Kageyama had a rocky friendship; your relationship wasn’t any easier. But you made it work. Because soulmates normally don’t get to meet, but you can make soulmates with enough time and care. And, luckily for you, Kageyama was willing to give all the time in the world to you (as long as you didn't get in the way of volleyball, but you normally didn’t).

----

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[hopelesshawks]

History of Us Part 17- Family Dinner

Summary: Once upon a time Todoroki and (y/n) were best friends. Now they haven’t spoken in years. When (y/n) is forced to transfer to UA, will she and Shoto reconnect or will their troubled past keep them apart? A childhood friends to enemies to lovers hybrid fic.

If you don’t want to see History of Us content blacklist #hopelesshou

Masterlist Kofi

You frown down at the mysterious text from the unknown number. Something about it gave you an uneasy feeling but you brush it aside for now. You have other things to focus on. Other things like the fact that the way to Shoto’s house is looking awfully familiar. “Do you still live in our old neighborhood?” you ask suddenly as you and Shoto walk side by side. “Yes. Different house but same neighborhood, why?” he asks. “This is where we moved back to,” you explain, “my house is down that way.” “In that case do you want to invite your mom as well?” Shoto asks but you shake your head. “She’s working a shift right now. Maybe next time?” you offer. “Next time,” Shoto replies with a soft smile.

Something warm blooms in his chest at your mention of a next time. He’d missed you over the years certainly, but he didn’t realize just how much until he finally had you back. You’re different now, sure, but so is he. Neither of you are the children you once were and yet reconnecting had been as natural as anything else. The two of you had slipped back into a rhythm as if no time had passed and he was forever grateful for that. He watched your face as the two of you walk, your eyes lit up with a combination of nerves and excitement, and he has a flickering thought that you look absolutely beautiful that way. “Is there something on my face?” you ask suddenly. “What?” he asks, blinking at you in confusion. “You’re staring Sho,” you laugh. “Oh! Sorry,” he says, a light flush dusting his cheeks as he sharply turns his gaze away. “It’s fine! It’s still weird being friends again for me too,” you assure him. “Yes... Yes you’re right, that’s it,” Shoto says, more to himself than you, as you finally arrive at his house.

Shoto pushes open the door, calling out to let the family know he’s arrived. Rei comes from the kitchen, wiping her hands off on a dish rag, but stops in her tracks when she spots you. You freeze in place as you wait to see how she’ll react. You haven’t seen her since her hospitalization. There are more wrinkles at the corners of her eyes then the last time you saw her and you hope it’s from smiling more since she was released after the Dabi incident. You start to see tears gathering in the corners of her eyes but before you can apologize for upsetting her, she’s striding forward to pull you into a hug. It takes you a second to process what’s happening but then you eagerly return the hug, clutching her tightly to you. Her hand strokes over your hair gently a couple times before she pulls back to look at you properly. “You’ve gotten so big! And your performance at the sports festival was truly incredible,” she compliments you. “Ah thank you,” you reply sheepishly. “Come in, come in. How’s your mother doing? I’ve missed her,” Rei asks as she ushers you through to the dining room. “She’s doing well! Work keeps her busy most of the time though,” you respond.

Shoto trails behind, watching fondly as his mother fawns over you. He stops in the kitchen to say hi to his sister who is attending to the food still cooking. “You brought a new friend home instead of Midoriya and Bakugo,” she notes. “Not a new friend, look closer,” Shoto corrects as he leans against the counter next to his sister. She stops what she’s doing to take a closer look at you, eyes widening in disbelief after a moment. “Is that-“ “Yep.” “I thought you said she hated you.” “We made up at the sports festival.” “I’m happy for you,” Fuyumi smiles. “Thank you,” Shoto replies as his eyes wander back to where his mother continues to chatter away with you at the kitchen table. He startles slightly as a hand claps him on the shoulder, turning to find Natsuo has finally arrived. “Been a minute baby bro. The living nightmare hasn’t arrived yet has he?” Natsuo asks casually. “Blissfully no, although I doubt that will last much longer,” Shoto acknowledges. “Will you two play nice? Shoto brought a guest,” Fuyumi chides. “Oh dumpster fire mentioned that, is it not the usual two?” Natsuo asks curiously. “Nope,” Shoto replies. “It’s sweet little (y/n). Remember her?” Fuyumi exclaims. “Ah she’s a little different than you remember,” Shoto chuckles but before he can elaborate Rei is returning to shoo all of her children into the dining room while she finishes up.

It’s nice talking to the Todoroki siblings and catching up. You’d never really known Natsuo and Fuyumi growing up so you appreciate getting the opportunity to now. You’d even managed not to get too outlandish as you joked around with them, your self-proclaimed gremlin nature laying dormant. At least until Endeavor finally returned home. None of you heard the front door open, too wrapped up in your conversation. He walks into the room and although he’s initially happy to see his family laughing and talking together, his eyes narrow as he spots you. “What are you doing here?” he asks, standing to his full height. “Shoto did you hear that? Sounds like a little bitch talking,” you snap instinctively, as you turn to glare at the new arrival. Everyone but Shoto and Endeavor look surprised. “Shoto I was under the impression you’d be bringing a friend along,” Endeavor replies through gritted teeth. “I did bring a friend,” Shoto replies easily. “You said she hated you,” Endeavor fires back. “Past tense! We settled our differences through the only language you and my father taught us. Violence,” you cut in, grin a little feral. “Do not lump me in with that villain,” Endeavor all but growls. “But that was your training buddy,” Shoto refutes with a straight face. “I do recall you two proclaiming you’d die for each other on multiple occasions,” you taunt. “Ah yes, everyone knows best friends who abuse children together, stay together,” Shoto adds. Fuyumi and Rei watch on stunned as Natsuo barely suppresses his surprised laughter at you and Shoto’s comments. “I, at least, am trying to be better,” Endeavor snaps. “Try harder,” you and Shoto both say at the exact same time. Endeavor looks as if he’s about to growl out another response but Rei is swiftly out of her seat to put a placating hand on Endeavor’s chest. “Ok, ok, let’s call a truce. Enji you go get changed out of your work uniform and then we can all just sit down for a nice meal,” Rei proposes. Endeavor mutters something under his breath but agrees none the less before storming off to go get changed. “Ok, petition for (y/n) to replace dad at all family functions?” Natsuo grins. “Natsuo,” Rei chides gently. “I second the petition,” Shoto replies, causing you to cackle. The fondly exasperated look on Rei’s face makes dealing with Endeavor worth it.

The dinner goes surprisingly smoothly even with Endeavor there. He seems far less intimidating when he’s not in his hero costume, which only further enables you and Shoto’s belligerence any time the man dares make his displeasure with your presence known. You can’t imagine why you were worried about them accepting you. The entire night is suffused with a warmth you’ve missed. You love your mother but the past several years have been difficult for her. To suddenly be solely responsible for supporting both of you financially all while dealing with the stigma of her husband’s reputation has meant work is twice as hard and keeps her twice as busy as it did when you were younger. You had missed having Mrs. Todoroki to lean on and in many ways she feels like a second mother to you. Not to mention finally getting to interact properly with Natsuo and Fuyumi. When dinner is finished, Endeavor and Rei are the ones to clear up the plates and begin cleaning up the kitchen. You keep talking with Fuyumi, Natsuo, and Shoto for awhile before you finally decide to get up and grab some water from the kitchen. You excuse yourself from the table and head that direction, but just before you enter the other room you notice Rei and Enji speaking in hushed voices to each other. Curiosity drives you closer and you decide to hover on the other side of the doorway and eavesdrop.

“I thought you and Shoto were making progress. What happened?” Rei asks with concern as Endeavor scrubs away at a dish. “That girl happened,” Endeavor replies. “That girl has a name,” Rei says warningly. “Yes she does. It’s (Y/l/n) and I seem to be the only one who remembers that fact,” Enji retorts. “You cannot judge her by the sins of her father.” “She was there Rei. He brought her for a reason.” “Yes, just as you took Touya out to the woods that day for a reason. Just because you have a certain intent doesn’t mean your children will share it. You should know better than anyone that being related to a villain doesn’t make someone one.” “I’m just trying to protect Shoto from the betrayal and pain I felt. I don’t want her hurting him.” “I know but whether she’s going to hurt him or not, that’s a mistake he’ll have to make himself.”

You try not to flinch at Rei’s words. You’re used to people doubting your intentions because of your father but to hear it from Rei stings. You’d expected her to insist you’d never hurt Shoto. You decide you don’t want to hear anymore and head back to the dining room, water glass still empty. “I thought you went to grab water,” Fuyumi points out as you return. “Oh, I ended up drinking it on the way back over here and I’m too lazy to go refill it again,” you lie. She and Natsuo seem to accept the lie easily, resuming the conversation they’d been having, but Shoto gives you a concerned look. He scans your face as if he could ascertain what’s wrong if he looked hard enough. He catches your eye and mouths “what’s wrong?” but you simply shake your head and give him what you hope is a reassuring smile.

Eventually it’s time for you and Shoto to head back to the dorms. You swallow down your hurt as you hug Rei goodbye and then say your goodbyes to the other Todoroki siblings. Endeavor hovers in the doorway out of obligation, saying his goodbyes to Shoto before staring at you warily. “Good seeing you too, fuckface,” you tell him with a roll of your eyes. You count Shoto’s amused smile as a win. As the two of you start walking to the train that will take you back towards campus, part of you worries that Shoto will grill you on what’s wrong now that the two of you are alone. He looks somewhat deep in thought as the two of you walk and you brace yourself for the question you’re not prepared to answer as he finally opens his mouth. “Want to have another movie night tonight?” he finally asks. You blink at him in confusion for a moment as the words process. When you fully realize he’s not pressuring you to tell him what’s wrong, relief washes over you like a wave. “That sounds perfect,” you sigh, some of the tension leaving your body on the exhale. “Great,” Shoto affirms and when the two of you make eye contact you know he understands how you’re feeling perfectly. The two of you continue on your way in companionable silence and, not for the first time, you find yourself incredibly grateful to have Shoto by your side again.

A/N: I live for Shoto and (y/n) roasting Endeavor tbh. Also Rei only phrased things the way she did because she was trying to appeal to Endeavor and didn’t think the kids would hear her. This is why you shouldn’t eavesdrop 🥲 Anyway, next chapter we’ll finally find out what exactly happened when (y/n) was 8 and why her father is so hated.

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