#they did not actually burn the wizard's tongue it's cool

[heybiji]

dandelion casually dropping traumatic information while insisting that instead of killing the problem wizard they simply burn his tongue

[whenyourlightdims]

I think the only people who follow me are the ones knowing me from my other blogs.

Except that this place is pretty much my void to shout my feelings, but I don't want to make anyones day sad, so I put it under the cut. Just keep scrolling.

I do think about leaving Tumblr. Like, not just a quick thought, I have been thinking that for a few weeks.

Tldr.: Blogs will probably be queue powered, and I only look occasionally in here to check if a mutual posted something cool or contacted me.

Before anything, it's nobodies fault, not the anons or open blogs that sidestabbed me out of the corner.

What drew me back here in the first place was the social aspect I had so many people to talk to! But within a month, many got burned out or had no time to anymore. Then those who still were there moved on to other fandoms. Of course, for something to be that long in everyones mind, Larian sure did a great job!

So yeah. I feel lonely. That's the gist of the whole post here.

The BG3 roleplay community is something I am not able to fit in. I really hoped, I really enjoyed it, I loved drawing little silly comics to what was written. That was what actually got me into drawing comics, and for that, I will be forever grateful. But yes, I really tried and kept successfully failing at it. So either it's my English (not native tongue, so my writing could be horrendous and I don't know it.) Or Ceres (and Tae) are just not someone that fits (everyone I approached) the general taste, which is... unlucky. I don't know. But it is me who is the problem, sadly I will never find out what it is.

In the end, it is nobody's fault. It's a me problem. I am not sure how to tackle it anymore.

Then there is the Galemancer community I adore. The tags and comments on my little switch-aroo Gale videos were genuinely wonderful. Addictive! I was laughing at them loudly and had to explain to my partner, which tags or comments it were this time that made me cackle. Outside of Tumblr, I barely found people who liked him, so it was a wind of fresh air! However, I am out of content for videos I could create, and there are better gif and screenshot makers out there for Gale content. I haven't seen anyone who has yet made the videos, but I am sure that will come too since his popularity is now rising!

But I did pretty much everything I could with the Content Larian gave us, and with me running out of it, the interactions there pretty much died down. I keep reblogging, of course! After all thats what my blog was created in the first place, for me to shout into a void how much I love the wizard, so Gale art, fics, and creations of all kinds are filled in my queue!

Now to the most depressing topic. Art. Well... Art is sadly a thing that never worked on me on any platform. For an artist to be fed the good chemicals, art needs to be seen, and to be seen, it needs to be reblogged or retweeted or whatever the term on each side is. I know my art is not good, nor will it be ever good enough to be considered worth sharing. For that, I am not creative enough.

I love my friends reaction to the art I draw, so I will keep drawing, but sharing it immediately on Tumblr? I don't really feel like it anymore. Especially since I gathered mostly Galemancer and Art that's not Gale or horny Gale related gets ignored. (It really hurts)

Again. Nobodys fault except mine. It was my little Dom!Gale who gave me most followers! They came for the smut I barely provided.

I did get a few Patreons, which is amazing. For someone with disability it made a huge impact, not money wise - of course the money is nice - but more about having people out there who say "your art is worth 3usd a month" does give you a really nice feeling. Like... I am allowed to exist: I am contributing to society. It's hard to explain, but maybe someone out there understands what I am talking about.

Anyway, on Bsky, I cultivated a very small following of people who genuinely follow me for my art and ideas, not for Gale exclusive things.

And yet, I am still here. I am writing this and feel really dumb why I am even writing it. It's clear Tumblr is not my space. Not that any social media ever was. But I guess Bsky is the thing that comes the closest for me.

So yeah. If I am suddenly stopping or the blogs die down. At least 5 followers here can check this blog if they remember, and find this post.

[random-imagines-blog]

Imagine being a fire mage and being part of the Fellowship.

Gandalf was a wizard and very skilled in magic, even if he was just a gray. Legolas and Aragorn both knew a little magic themselves, enough to get by. But none of them knew the ancient magic like you did. You had focused on one area of study since you had learned how to walk, being taught by your father. Fire. You controlled it. You manifested it. You even ate it on occasion. You could control it. And that made you extremely useful to the Fellowship. Even if you could not melt the ring the way that everyone wished that you could.

There was no struggling to light a fire on the cool nights as you got closer to the mountains. You were on top of it. And you could smother it out without smoke if any of Saruman’s spies took the skies. You’d light your hands for a while, then put them out and hold onto the little hobbits to make them warm. They all ‘warmed up' to you so to speak quickly, even Boromir who seemed to have a slight disconnect to everyone.

And then came the Mines of Moria.

You swung your fire around, hitting any and every orc that came anywhere near you. You had your back to Aragorn’s, watching his while he watched yours. An overflow of orcs started to come in your direction, straight for you.  You were growing exhausted but you had to push through, to be able to do this one thing to save your life, and those of your fellowship.

You took a deep breath, lit up your palm - and shoved it into your mouth, feeling it burning on your tongue. The acrid taste of charcoal. And you swallowed it down, let it warm you in your belly. The hoard came in closer. “What are you doing?” Aragorn hissed. You felt eyes on you.

“Trust me,” You commanded of him. Of all of them that were watching. You felt it rise, the fire inside of you, coming closer, closer, closer to the surface. And you opened your mouth. It didn’t feel pleasant in the slightest. It felt like burping while having severe heartburn. But it worked. Out spewed the fire, right into the faces of those that were running towards you. It wasn’t pretty. The helmets would melt, fusing onto their faces. Burning through their flesh into their brains, bringing them down quickly.

Your fire had helped against the orcs but it was nothing compared to Belrog. You lost Gandalf as you escaped the mines, the feeling heavy in the air from the grief. You had somehow become the main distraction. “How did you do that?” Sam asked, trying not to cry, coming up to your side. “That - fire eating thing?”

“Years of practice, Samwise Gamgee. I wouldn’t recommend it.”

“Does it taste good?” Pippin asked. Merry gave him a slap on the arm. “What? I’m curious!”

“Quite ashy. Like if you actually ate what was left after a bonfire. But still hot. Very, very hot.”

The ‘adults’ as you tended to call them, yourself included, didn’t have any questions, but you could still see curiosity in their eyes. The halflings kept asking you questions and you were glad to give them answers, if only to keep them from feeling the grief too intensely.

Requested by: Anonymous

[devildancing]

Unrequested Rabastan Drabble ft. Narcissa

❝ The fuck does a man have to do not to run into one of you bloody Black witches? ❞

Rabastan gives the pretty little blonde a pointed little stare, raising his upper body from the floor by the palms he's pressed into the carpet. He'd been in the middle of trying to exercise ( and exorcise ) some of his demons when the youngest daughter of the house had made a point of slipping through the door of the room he was sharing with Rodolphus. She's still standing there, arms behind her back with her palms resting against the door knob. If it weren't for pure curiosity, he might have told her to fuck the fuck off.

" I suppose you'd increase your odds if you weren't staying in our home. "

He snorts at that, grabbing at the pack of cigarettes near his hips before tamping them against his palm. Rab doesn't miss the way her cool blue eyes follow the act and, gentleman that he most certainly is not, the boy offers Narcissa one before pulling his own. Color him surprised when she not only takes it, but lights the thing and takes a drag like a champ. A whistle leaves his lips, but nothing about these bloody bints ever makes sense to him.

❝ What do you want, Black...aside from a nicotine hit? ❞

" I was looking for your brother, actually — "

He supposes that makes a little more sense, even if it seemed more likely that Rod would be looking for their soon-to-be sister-in-law rather than the other way around. Narcissa had made herself pointedly scarce during their stay.

" — but it seems we both have a habit of finding the wrong sibling. "

...Shit. Shit shit shit!

This time, the wizard finds himself at the sharp end of her pointed little stare and he thinks, maybe just maybe, hers is a little more perfected than his. Rab feels naked in the worst sort of ways, insides squirming at the realization that Little Miss Amnesia has a perfect memory. Does his brother know? Does Andy?

❝ Don't know what you mean. ❞

He watches her take a drag from her cigarette, embers burning as the little princess exhales a perfectly delicate billow of smoke from her parted lips. He can't even tell where the hell her mind is or what her actual stance on the matter is. ( Fuck's sake, are all of them like this? ) Rab only knows that, for whatever reason, Narcissa Black wants him to know that she knows. But how much? To what extent?

" Bullshit. "

❝ Excuse me, Princess? ❞

" Bullshit. " She repeats, succinctly.

❝ You kiss Malfoy with that mouth? ❞

If looks could kill! He chuckles nervously as she steps deeper into the room, dark head forced to cant to make up for the fact that she's standing and he's still sitting like a dumbass on the floor.

" I am being plain with you, Lestrange. " Her voice cuts through the tension in the room. " I expect the same courtesy. "

Rab places a hand over his heart as if touched. He doesn't know what else to fucking do. There's something familiar about the way she's speaking to him but he can't quite place it.

❝ That's all fine and well, but you haven't told me what you fuckin' want. ❞

" I want my sister to be happy, Rabastan. "

His eyes narrow, his own cigarette burning away between his fingers.

❝ That's up to her, innit? ❞

He understands with perfect clarity that her silence is only because she's scrutinizing him, the cant of her pale blonde head all too similar to that of her sister's. Rabastan hates the feeling — being sized up, knowing that he's always always going to be found wanting. His tongue pokes the inside of his cheek, brows furrowing faintly at the realization she's come to some sort of decision.

" I also want you to know that I know what you did and why you did it. "

Ah, there it is! He prepares himself, steels himself. Before he can even comment or, if he dared to fucking do it, ask her what the hell she means, Narcissa is already talking again.

" You're not bad...or wrong. " A pause. " Neither is she. "

He's right fucking speechless, watching on as she takes one final drag of her cigarette before stamping it out beneath her pretty little foot. Rab doesn't dare try and form words when the lump in his goddamn throat is choking him the way it is.

" Just get your...mess together before we have to do more than talk, Lestrange. " She offers as a final piece of advice, opening the door. " And do tell your brother that I was looking for him. "

[the-heaminator]

pls filter these out if you dont want to be spammed by this shit

England: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions? France: Put spaghetti in it. England: I'm currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you. Spain: Put spaghetti in it. England: I'm currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two. Prussia: Put spaghetti in it. England: I'm no longer taking suggestions.

England: I think we're missing something. France: Teamwork? Spain: Cohesion? Prussia: A general sense of what we’re doing?

England: How did none of you hear what I just said? France: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours. Spain: I got distracted about halfway through. Prussia: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

England: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys. France: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap! Spain: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!! Prussia: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting. England: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

England: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling? France: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Spain? Spain: Probably “road work ahead”. Prussia: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

France: *Screams* Spain: *Screams louder to assert dominance* England: Should we do something?! Prussia, observing: No, I want to see who wins this

France: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos. Spain: That's the most hopeful thing I've ever heard. England: But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos? Prussia: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day

France: Why are your tongues purple? England: We had slushies. I had a blue one. Prussia: I had a red one. France: oh France: France: OH Spain: Spain: You drank each other's slushies?

France: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses. Spain: This knife is actually a magic wand. England: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel. Prussia: *cocks gun* Magic missile. Germany: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

France: Anyone d- Spain: Depressed? England: Drained? Prussia: Dumb? Germany: Disliked? France: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people ...

France: Good morning. Germany: Good morning. England: Good morning. Prussia: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit. Spain: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS

France: What’s something you guys are better than Spain at? England: Mario Kart. Prussia: Yeah, video games. Germany: Emotional vulnerability. (bro thats a probelm spain)

France: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife? Spain: Rude. England: That’s fair. Prussia: Not again. Germany: Are you going to want this back?

France: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me? Spain: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it. France: Three of us saw it, Spain. How do you explain that? Spain: *points at England* Sleep deprivation. *points at Prussia* Paranoia. *points at Germany* Delusional personality disorder.

France: What did you guys get in your yearbook? Spain: 'Prettiest Smile' England: 'Worst Personality' Prussia: 'Most likely to start a bar fight' Germany: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

France: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life Spain: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years! England: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this! Prussia: I knew I lost that potential somewhere! Germany: My moral code, is that you? France: France: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?

France: I’m an idiot. Spain: England: Prussia: Germany: France: Spain: If you’re waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day

[somerpmemes]

The Owl House Starters

Change as needed

“No! My only weakness! Dying!”

“That doesn’t count, right?”

“Do you have any friends? Real ones?”

“Tiny trash thief!”

“Oops, that happens sometimes.”

“I’m a squirmy little fella.”

“I like food, I like love, just let me write about it!”

“Oh, he gets so cute when he’s thirsty for power.”

“I’ve never actually broken any of your stupid laws… in front of you.”

“I hate everything you’re saying right now.”

“We’d be the strongest power couple ever.”

“Self-doubt is a prison you can never escape from.”

“Anyways, let’s bounce before any more monsters fall in love with me.”

“I am not your cutie pie!”

“No one wants an un-oiled snake.”

“Remember, never befriend a man in sandals and always measure twice, cut once.”

“Be back by nightfall or risk mortal peril!”

“I know I’ve had enough delight for one day.”

“Sorry to break it to you, ___, but no one here is that well-dressed.”

“This has been a rough day.”

“Big houses always belong to big whack jobs.”

“Today just got good.”

“Wizards are just old people with glitter in their pockets.”

“Anyways, your food is gone and we are too.”

“Never trust a man in casual drapery.”

“All that mean-spirited laughter made me sleepy.”

“I don’t like this. I really don’t like this.”

“All your food was so tiny and cute.”

“If you can think of a better plan I’d love to hear it.”

“Betrayed by my own cool accessories.”

“I didn’t have to be part of this!”

“I… don’t like this.”

“I think I’ll head home and look at pictures of animals that are still… alive.”

“Wow, you’re so unnoticeable I almost rolled into you.”

“It’s okay, the thorns only went through a few layers of skin.”

“Alright, into the darkness you go.”

“Oh my god, I haven’t eaten real food in so long please give me some.”

“You can’t just cut open a human, can you?”

“Keeping junk in my pocket saved my life!”

“Ahh, baby’s first wanted poster.”

“Even demons have inner demons.”

“This is my paying attention face.”

“Look, now we’re boo boo buddies.”

“It’s like a rainbow, but looking at it turns you inside out.”

“I respect your cunning but I also hate you for it.”

“Oh, gross. Can I keep that?”

“This is terrifying, so why do you look so happy?”

“Oh no, a twist!”

“I’m kind of over that nickname, but okay.”

“Oh, what lovely thing do we have here? It’s just so dang shiny, oh my.”

“And look, I drew flip book.”

“I will literally do anything to stop this.”

“If I’m seen, I could go to jail… again.”

“Alright, let’s see this mess.”

“That’s probably fine.”

“Time to prepare for bloodshed.”

“Welcome down to my level!”

“I know I should be repulsed but that look is fierce.”

“I’m gonna steal everything that’s not nailed down!”

“I was up all night poison tasting and, for some reason, I don’t feel great.”

“I need an extra pair of eyes looking out for pickpockets. And an extra pair of hands in case I want to pickpocket.”

“I got leaves in my pants. And I like it.”

“I was a strange child.”

“You think this can stop me? I can still bite your ankles.”

“If you’re gonna eat me, just do it now!”

“___, you’re getting all swoony again.”

“Rivals are meant to be annihilated, not befriended.”

“Witches eating babies is so 1693.”

“Ugh, you.”

“I thought we were as cool as cucumbers but we’re as sour as pickles.”

“Whoa, I almost passed out.”

“It’s been hours, how can it keep screaming!?”

“Say that again and I steal your tongue.”

“Keep going, this is fun to watch.”

“Isn’t that taking it a bit too far?”

“Just go away before things somehow get worse!”

“This never happened.”

“And who doesn’t like their name in lights?”

“That’s the incorrect reaction!”

“I smell an easy mark.”

“Well, I hate her.”

“It’s like demonic possession with the ones you love.”

“This is just like my favorite early 2000’s movie!”

“I’m so old… and pointy.”

“I’ve got some very confusing emotions right now.”

“My life’s not a joke! But yours is!”

“Novelty costumes are where I draw the line.”

“I am not above disrespecting my elders.”

“This vacation just took an alarming, back-alley turn.”

“Geez, I thought I’d like being babied. But I feel small and helpless, like some sort of baby.”

“Hey, take this, society!”

“I didn’t like her telling me what to do before, but now I love it!”

“Let’s go let out some teen angst!”

“This is how the cool kids ride. Super backwards, on purpose.”

“Your life is pretty terrible. But, hey, it’ll probably be over soon.”

“This is some of my best work, really captures the shame.”

“That’s sweet, kid. Now let’s never speak of this again.”

“Show, don’t tell, man.”

“Oh, look what you did. I’m gonna go rub it in.”

“That seems like a potential problem to me.”

“You being the razzle, I’ll bring the dazzle.”

“Do you always have confetti on you or—?”

“You’re just gonna be unhelpful, huh?”

“Okay, time to run for no particular reason!”

“Oof, I’ve had this nightmare before.”

“Like I’d actually apologize.”

“I want power, and I want drama.”

“Are you ready to give up?”

“I was afraid, I acted stupid.”

“I just wish you told me the truth.”

“You know, it didn’t taste as bad as I thought I would.”

“Impressive, still alive.”

“This is a throne worthy of a tyrant!”

“No, no, keep those sticky hands away.”

“No one wants to see that.”

“Since when are you into sports?”

“Gross, sympathy.”

“Don’t spend all night plotting revenge.”

“Oh, this is an interesting development.”

“I’ll take that weird grumble as a yes.”

“I’m feeling confident about this plan.”

“Trust must be earned.”

“If you run, you’ll just make it harder for yourself!”

“Your pride has destroyed you.”

“So tiny, so angry.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever be clean again.”

“If you ever want to search for the truth, I’ll help you.”

“Aww, that’s a horrible lie.”

“Partake of my free snack samples!”

“Why isn’t anyone paying attention to me?”

“A, eww. B, I’m bored. C, I feel like pickpocketing some dork while they browse.”

“I know my good angle.”

“Ugh, what are the basement dwellers doing out in natural sunlight?’

“Hey, there’s more to life than shipping.”

“___, I know you’re trying to help, but I think you’re crossing a line.”

“Ooh, I love punching.”

“You’re ominous, and I like it.”

“And of course you would be here just to be a nuisance.”

“I wanted to compare sunglasses.”

“Fame can really box you in, you know?”

“Besides, if anyone’s putting you down it’s gonna be me.”

“If it’s disappointing in any way I’ll spend the rest of my life trashing it.”

“He scammed us. Can you believe he scammed us?”

“Good entrance. But that outfit? Hah!”

“I’ve got a new crush and her name is education!”

“Ahh, fresh garbage.”

“I have never seen such an extravagant earring.”

“Wow, a surprisingly peaceful domestic moment. When will it be ruined?”

“Weaponizing my pride, well played.”

“Sorry, whoever’s over there!”

“Well, go on. Eat the snow.”

“Huh, it’s no fun if they don’t tremble.”

“Oh, okay, alright. Yup, an idea’s happening.”

“Shh! I don’t need your validation!”

“Get back here before that thing bites you!”

“No, we’re gonna die.”

“Cool. I didn’t actually think you could do it.”

“It’s not a secret.”

“Alright, your adorable banter is literally making me sick.”

“Believe it or not, I’ve seen worse.”

“Aww. I won’t be doing that, but thanks.”

“Quitting: it’s like trying, but easier.”

“You humans are filled with liquids, right?”

“I guess I have always liked pouring things into other things.”

“Time to scrounge through the trash.”

“I ain’t no desk jockey.”

“You don’t know diddly dang about squiddly squat!”

“I love secret rooms!”

“You have an aura of lies.”

“Also, you can eat trash.”

“Do the right thing, you dingus!”

“It just goes on like this for an hour.”

“Carnivals bring crowds and crowds bring suckers.”

“We’ve got scams to run.”

“I know poison when I see it.”

“You can’t scam a scammer.”

“You should really put a lock on your closet.”

“I love crimes!”

“Now this is my kind of weird.”

“That’s way safer than becoming blood brothers.”

“Beat up the man and steal his things for me.”

“This mama is ready for trauma.”

“All right. Approval!”

“Curse these stubby legs!”

“Sketchy carnival rides are not to blame this time.”

“___, you’re lucky I can’t be mad at your adorable antics.”

“Just when I thought I couldn’t respect the law any less…”

“Aww, what a supportive sign.”

“Yep, I just counted to one million.”

“Looks like we ruined his life for a second time.”

“I’ve always wanted to own a jagged piece of cheap metal.”

“Yes! Bread puns, bread puns forever!”

“Now I know what friendship tastes like.”

“I think today is a talons day.”

“It’s fun because it’s stupid.”

“I’ll admit, I was adorable.”

“Be careful with my brain.”

“Wouldn’t you rather talk about it?”

“That’s my motto after all, ‘Out of sight, out of mind.’”

“No schemes, no plots, no ruses. None.”

“I can’t believe I made him cry.”

“Are you solving a crime or about to commit one?”

“Sadly this is one problem crime can’t solve.”

“I’m supposed to choose someone interesting, accomplished, and noteworthy. People aren’t meant to be all those things!”

“Yup, her brain’s burned up real good.”

“Be still my fantasy-loving heart.”

“I’m pretty good at getting stuck inside people’s heads.”

“Hey, I found something magical.”

“I’ma put my face in it.”

“It’s like a little doghouse for angels.”

“If you’re handing out attention, I deserve it.”

“Eww, I mean, aww.”

“I really messed things up.”

“It’s eggs, it’s full of eggs.”

“No one turns down an interview with someone this pretty.”

“Me? Avoid? What? No. But let’s skip it.”

“There’s levels to me, kid. Levels I say!”

“Oh, right, I put people in there.”

“I’m gonna hug you so hard you’ll never forget me again!”

“I regret teaching you about the internet.”

“Ah, a severed hand. Perfect response.”

“Hmm, the demon at my shoulder makes a good point.”

“Always trust a shoulder demon.”

“The more I look at him, the more uncomfortable I get.”

“Man, you’ve got some quick grabbers.”

“I can’t wait to get overdressed, take awkward photos, push all the buttons!”

“We’re gonna turn this bloodbath into a fun bath.”

“Do you think I could pull off red eyeshadow?”

“Girl, you could pull off anything.”

“We’re style geniuses!”

“Ominous footsteps, creepy woods, this is no problem.”

“Dang, I look great.”

“___, you always go overboard and I end up bailing you out.”

“Now, what’s the fun in watching a kid get eaten by a monster if it’s my kid?”

“___, I don’t think you’re ready but we’re literally out of time.”

“Why so twitchy, witchy?”

“Teenagers are brutal. They’ll boo anyone and that kind of public humiliation will stick with you for life.”

“You look nice. Strange, but nice.”

“Honestly, I’m kind of amazed with how fearless you are.”

“You’ve done things I could never do.”

“Thing is, you’re sitting in my personal chitchat zone, which means you gotta talk.”

“I am a little weirdo.”

“You gotta pander.”

“Cheating a isn’t anything to brag about.”

“Well, can’t reason with crazy!”

“I’ve been talking for too long.”

“Feeling sentimental?”

“I love water.”

“I don’t know much about sports but I do know about sports movies.”

“What happens in the montage stays in the montage.”

“Not everything can be solved with a good attitude and a dope movie soundtrack.”

“Sorry, I just really love backstories.”

“You just destroyed your social life.”

“That’s such a stupid rule!”

“You’re not gonna show this to anyone, right?”

“I haven’t forgotten what you promised me.”

“Ahh, you’re a thorn in my side but you always dig your way into my heart.”

“Jeez, you’re morbid.”

“Ahh, it’s a fate much worse than death if you think about it.”

“Please don’t make me regret taking you here.”

“Love me a properly ventilated castle.”

“I spy with my little eye something coming this way!”

“I’m going away and I don’t know if I can come back this time.”

“And  ___, thank you, for being in my life.”

“I want her back as much as you do.”

“Don’t look at me like that, this is for your own good.”

“Ah farts, I got caught.”

“You understand, don’t you?”

“Please tell me that’s not as bad as it sounds.”

“To be great, you have to make sacrifices.”

“Ahh, ___, you chose the wrong side.”

“I like your spirit, but try that again and things won’t end well for you.”

“Go on, then. Go be a hero.”

“I may have lost but so have you.”

“I can teach you what I know, and what we don’t know we can learn together.”

[poisoned-peppermint]

I made dsmp incorrect quotes you wanna see em of course you do here

Bad: *seductively takes off glasses*

Bad: Wow...

Skeppy: *blushes* Haha... what?

Bad: You're really flipping blurry.

~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Is something burning?

Bad, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you.

Skeppy: Bad, the toaster is literally on fire.

~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?

Bad: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

~~~~~~~

Skeppy: So don't panic but one of us is possessed by an owl....

George: ....

Dream: .....

Sapnap: ......

Bad: ..Who?

Skeppy: That's the thing we don't-

*Everyone stares at Bad

~~~~~~~

*Everyone is giving advice to Sapnap*

Skeppy: It's okay to ask for help.

Dream: You're not a burden.

Bad: Murder is okay.

George: Your feelings matter. 

~~~~~~~

Dream: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.

Sapnap: This knife is actually a magic wand.

George: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.

Bad: *cocks gun* Magic missile.

Skeppy: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

~~~~~~~

Dream: Did you bring Sapnap?

George, gesturing to Skeppy: No, but I brought the next best thing.

Dream: Skeppy? The next best thing would be Bad.

Skeppy: I would be offended, but Bad is freakishly strong.

~~~~~~~

Sapnap: You're a lying piece of shit!

George: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!

Skeppy: I'm leaving and I'm taking Bad with me!

Dream, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.

~~~~~~~

Sapnap: So anyways have y'all seen Bad?

Dream: I think they went in Skeppy's room 'studying'.

George: Doubt that. I heard groans there.

*Meanwhile in Skeppy's room*

Bad & Skeppy, fighting:

~~~~~~~

Bad: Isn’t it weird that we can’t ride any other animal except horses. Like if horses weren’t a thing, humans would be fucked cause we couldn’t ride any other animals. Like riding animals wouldn’t really be a thing. We should probably be more grateful to horses.

George: Elephants.

Bad: Blocked.

Dream: Camels.

Bad: Extra blocked.

Sapnap: Donkeys.

Bad: Ultra blocked.

Skeppy: That dick.

Bad: ...Followed.

~~~~~~~

Bad, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'll drink my sorrows away

 ~~~~~~~

Quackity: I’m this close to falling in love with Sapnap.

Karl: Your fingertips are touching.

Quackity: Exactly.

~~~~~~~

Karl: So how’s the food Quackity made?

Sapnap: It's great! Compliments to them.

Karl: *goes to the kitchen*

Karl: You're adorable.

Quackity: *blushes*

~~~~~~~

Bad: Hey guys I just found a new song I really like-

Quackity: Is it about death?

Bad: No.

Sapnap: Is it about drugs?

Karl: Is it about sex?

Bad: NO- it's about happiness and peace and-

Quackity, Sapnap, and Karl:

~~~~~~~

Karl: Made you all playlists!

Karl: Sapnap, yours has only heavy metal, and is dark like your soul.

Karl: Quackity, yours has sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression.

Karl: And Bad has the ABBA Gold album. 

~~~~~~~

Karl: I give up. I am so tired.

Bad: Get the emergency supply!

Quackity: *carries Sapnap and places them in front of Karl*

Sapnap: *smiles*

Karl: AND I AM BACK BABY, LET’S GOOO

~~~~~~~

Karl: What’s the announcement, Quackity?

Quackity: It’s a lecture. Bad’s gonna tell us everything they know about sex.

Sapnap: It should be an enjoyable 60 seconds. 

 ~~~~~~~

Bad: Sapnap, you'll be working with Quackity and Karl.

Sapnap: Alright! My fantasy threesome!

Everyone else: *blank stares*

Sapnap: ...Of people on a team.

~~~~~~~

Quackity: We might have gotten into a bar room brawl back in the city.

Karl: Well, that was entirely predictable.

Quackity: One of them punched a gang member.

Karl: Sapnap?

Quackity: Bad, actually.

Karl: Oh, that was going to be my second guess. 

 ~~~~~~~

Bad: Alright, which one of us is gonna check outside?

Karl: Not it!

Sapnap: Not it!

Bad: ...Neither one of you are as dumb as you lead on to be.

~~~~~~~

Karl and Sapnap: *making loud, shouty gorilla sounds at each other*

Quackity:

Bad, exasperatedly: We have a guest. 

 ~~~~~~~

Sapnap: I am darkness. I am a power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am-

Karl: A doll.

Quackity: A cinnamon roll.

Bad: A sweetheart.

Sapnap:

Sapnap: ...stop it. 

 ~~~~~~~

Quackity, pointing to the wall: What color is this?

Sapnap: Gray.

Bad: Grey.

Quackity, turning to Karl: Now tell them what color you think it is.

Karl: Dark white.

~~~~~~~

Karl: We need to distract these guys.

Bad: Leave it to me.

Bad: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.

Sapnap & Quackity: *immediately begin arguing* 

 ~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Bad is too tall for me to kiss them on the lips. What should I do?

Ant: Punch them in the stomach. Then, when they double over in pain, kiss them.

Quackity: Tackle them!

Puffy: Dump them.

Velvet: Kick them in the shin!

Bad: No to all of those! Just ask me to lean down!!

~~~~~~~

Velvet: Christmas lights?

Bad: Check.

Ant: THermos of hot cocoa?

Bad: Check.

Quackity: Santa suits?

Bad: Check.

Puffy: Shovel?

Bad: Check.

Skeppy: Alibi and bail money?

Bad: Check- wait, WHAT?!

~~~~~~~

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

Bad: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

Skeppy: ...I did. I broke it.

Bad: No. No you didn't. Velvet?

Velvet: Don't look at me. Look at Ant.

Ant: What?! I didn't break it.

Velvet: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Ant: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Velvet: Suspicious.

Ant: No, it's not!

Quackity: If it matters, probably not, but Puffy was the last one to use it.

Puffy: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Quackity: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Puffy: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Quackity!

Skeppy: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Bad.

Bad: No! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

Quackity: Bad... Gumi's been awfully quiet.

Gumi: rEALLY?!

*Everyone starts arguing*

Bad, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

Bad: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Bad:

Bad: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here

~~~~~~~

Velvet: How much you wanna bet Bad got a Lap dance from Skeppy?

Ant: If that happend, Quackity can drink free tonight.

Quackity: As much as I love the thought of having free drinks I don't like the idea of Bad receiving a Lap dance from someone other than me.

Velvet: Hey Skeppy, did you give Bad a lap dance?

Skeppy: So what if I did?

Velvet, to Ant: I guess Quackity is drinking free tonight.

Skeppy: Be right back, I'm gonna go cry-

Bad, entering the room: What the muffin??

~~~~~~~

Bad: Skeppy kissed me!

Ant: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

Bad: It was unbelievable!

Ant: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

Velvet: Okay, we wanna hear everything. Ant, get the wine and unplug the phone. Bad, does this end well or do we need tissues?

Bad: Oh, it ended very well.

Ant: Do not start without me! Do not start without me!

Velvet: Okay, alright, let’s hear about the kiss. Was it a soft brush against your lips or was it like a, you know, “I gotta have you now” kind of thing?

Bad: Well, at first it was really intense, you know? And then, oh God, and then we just sort of sunk into it.

Velvet: Ohh... So, okay, were they holding you? Or were their hands on your back?

Bad: First they started out on my waist and then they slid up and then they were in my hair.

Ant and Velvet: Ohhh.

*meanwhile*

Skeppy eating pizza in their house: And, uh, and then I kissed them.

Quackity: Tongue?

Skeppy: Yeah.

Puffy: Cool.

~~~~~~~

Bad: If you can’t beat them, dress better than them

 ~~~~~~~

Bad: Okay okay stop asking me if I'm straight, gay, bi, whatever. I identify as a FREAKING THREAT.

 ~~~~~~

I will be making a part 2 shortly this is just getting to long

[glimmerglanger]

Mer!AU prompt--Cody mentioned the difference in their refractory periods in chapter six of C+T. Any chance Obi-Wan is gonna notice as well and do something about it? :D?

OHOHOHO! Obi-Wan is very considerate that way. (Spoilers: he does something about it).

This little snippet is VERY spicy. Not safe for wizards. Happy married folks really, uh, enjoying their relationship.

~~~~~~~~~~

Obi-Wan spent time considering the many differences between humans and merfolk as time passed. So many of them were obvious. Others were… less so. There were some he only got to explore when Cody was with him, when they could get close to one another, tangle together.

Learning the things that Cody liked was, very much, a pleasing endeavor. Learning the things that he would have expected from a lover of his own kind took more time, partially because it meant unlearning so much Obi-Wan had grown up accepting.

But Obi-Wan knew how to adapt and very much enjoyed learning everything possible about Cody. And so he learned that Cody wanted his touch to continue, even after orgasm raced through him. He wanted to be touched all through the aftershocks and - and beyond, ideally.

Obi-Wan picked up other information - here and there - in his new home, about different species that lived in the water. He assumed, after some reading, that perhaps the merfolk also had an actual bone in their cocks. 

It would explain a lot. Including Cody’s ability to...keep going, past the point when a human would have grown soft and over-sensitive.

Still, Cody never pushed for them to continue longer, never continued touching when Obi-Wan grabbed his hand to still him, though Obi-Wan’s reactions to orgasm must have seemed odd to him. He simply….accepted what they had, and, the one time Obi-Wan broached the subject of their couplings being, well, less than satisfying, he’d seemed genuinely befuddled.

He’d proceeded to demonstrate exactly how satisfying he found their joining, and Obi-Wan knew he’d made enough noise to carry through the water, based solely on the looks he got from his guards the next day.

So, Cody had no….complaints about their love-making. But that did not stop Obi-Wan from wanting to give him, well. Something closer to what he expected. What he was used to. At least occasionally. Obi-Wan considered his options for making such a thing happen while Cody was away, handling things in Sundari.

By the time Cody returned, he had a plan. 

Cody ever and always enjoyed having Obi-Wan’s mouth on him, and happily collapsed back against their low bed as Obi-Wan bent over him, barely exchanging initial greetings. Obi-Wan felt impatient under his skin, keyed up with desire, which was not quite his intent.

He needed to hold off his own release as long as possible, to make any of this tenable, and so he ignored the ache of his cock, sliding his mouth further down, instead. Cody panted out his name, hand brushing back over his hair, his skin tasting of salt.

Obi-Wan enjoyed the feel of each ridge sliding over his bottom lip, over and over again, enjoyed the way Cody swore, muscle tensing in his stomach and his fin. They had been apart for nearly two weeks. Obi-Wan knew it would not take long, not the first time, and slid his mouth further down, swallowing, nose brushing scales and--

Cody groaned out a warning, tugging just a little on Obi-Wan’s hair, and Obi-Wan hummed reassuringly around his cock. The vibration must have been just enough to toss Cody over the edge; he arched, cock twitching, pulsing against the top of Obi-Wan’s tongue.

Obi-Wan stayed where he was as long as possible, his eyes watering, his throat aching. He could hold his breath quite a long time, which - he’d found - had uses besides swimming. He stroked Cody’s side, breath held in his chest, and Cody rocked sinuously up off of the bed, slow rolls of his body, working his cock in Obi-Wan’s throat, the ache of it deep and sweet and--

And Obi-Wan eventually had to slide up, sucking in a breath through his nose and resisting the urge to cough, even as another wave of come spilled into his mouth, this time.

He swallowed it, the tip of Cody’s cock between his lips, keeping him there until Cody panted out, “Fuck, Obi-Wan, come here,” and grabbed at him, pulling him up to kiss him, slick with the wet smeared all over Obi-Wan’s mouth.

Cody rubbed at his cheeks, groaning against his mouth, the hard line of his cock pressed against Obi-Wan’s thigh, where Obi-Wan had intentionally tossed a leg across him. Cody reached down, fingers sliding over Obi-Wan’s stomach, and Obi-Wan caught his wrist, tugging to the side.

“What?” Cody asked, drawing back enough to blink at him. “I want to--”

“Not yet,” Obi-Wan cut in, with a smile that felt half-wild. He’d never get to what he wanted to do if Cody started touching him. He’d get distracted, overwhelmed with pleasure. That could wait, at least for a little.

“But--” Cody started, and cut off when Obi-Wan shifted, straddling him properly, scales so cool against the insides of his thighs, Cody spread out under him, the purple light pouring off of his skin lighting up the otherwise dark room around them. 

Obi-Wan ground against him, just for a moment, sending a shiver of want down his own back, leaving it pooling in his gut. It was so tempting to just continue the movement, and it had been two weeks for him, too. 

He had the brief thought that he should have - perhaps - waited to attempt this until Cody had been back a few days, until they’d burned out some of their initial wants. But he’d been impatient. And so he ignored his own aching cock, sitting up a little straighter and reaching for the oil he’d set to the side.

“I missed you,” he panted out, slicking his fingers and sliding his hand down over Cody’s cock, already wet from his mouth and throat. He ached with how much he wanted, and with the preparations he’d done, earlier.

He’d left himself so close to coming, earlier, when he was getting ready for this, stretching himself out, hoping to make himself less on edge once Cody actually arrived.

Things hadn’t quite worked out that way, but… “I miss you with every breath,” Cody told him, “hold on, I can help,” he started, sliding a hand over Obi-Wan’s hip, around to his ass, and he’d been very pleased with himself for filing down two of his nails, last time he’d visited.

Obi-Wan couldn’t think of the feeling of Cody’s fingers inside of him - only to the second knuckle, because the webbing got in the way after that - or he’d spill before they even got started. He bit his bottom lip, made a ragged sound, and sank down, hoping to distract himself.

The stretch of Cody’s cock was distracting, but it did absolutely nothing to slow down the blazing rush of want in his spine. Cody made a thick, hungry sound, both hands on Obi-Wan’s hips now, squeezing as he rasped out, “You--fuck--you got ready? Ready for me?”

“I was knowing you were going to be here,” Obi-Wan managed to answer, a smile on his mouth as he considered the hunger in Cody’s expression, wondering why Cody seemed to like that information so much. “I did not wanting to wait.”

Cody’s eyes were so wide and so dark as he panted out, “I won’t make you wait, then,” and arched up, driving his cock the rest of the way inside, Obi-Wan crying out at the feel of him, half-falling forward, catching himself on his hands. 

Cody no longer had to worry about hurting his stomach or agitating wounds when they were together. He moved beneath Obi-Wan, and it took Obi-Wan a dizzy moment to even think about meeting his movements.

First, he had to reach a hand down and squeeze the base of his cock, because just the feel of it after so long….

“You’re not stroking yourself,” Cody said, ragged, his gaze down by Obi-Wan’s cock, by his unmoving hand, and Obi-Wan jerked out a nod, unable to find words at the moment. “I’ll help you,” Cody added, sliding a hand over, and Obi-Wan made a rough sound.

“Not yet,” he managed to pant out, wrestling for control and managing some measure of it after a moment. Cody blinked up at him, expression questioning, and Obi-Wan added, “I want. To wait. A while longer.”

Cody opened his mouth and shut it again on a groan when Obi-Wan felt controlled enough to rise up, to sink down on him, and, oh, he felt so good. 

At least, in this position, Obi-Wan could avoid direct stimulation of his prostate. But it was still so good, having Cody in him after so long denied. He was so painfully aware of his aching cock, of the need, and he could feel himself losing his rhythm, distracted and wanting and--

And it was not much of a surprise when Cody wrapped an arm around him and rolled them, rasping, “Let me, I’ve got you,” and oh, changing the angle and fucking into him. Obi-Wan groaned, wordless as Cody hooked an arm under one of his knees, hitching his leg up.

Obi-Wan had meant not to come yet. He really had, but the position dragged his cock against Cody’s stomach, and Cody drove into him so perfectly, and it had been too long, and he spilled with a ragged cry, scrambling for a grip at Cody’s shoulders and arms.

Cody hesitated, breathing hard above him, and Obi-Wan dug his free heel against Cody’s back, panting out, “Keep--keep going, it’s, keep--”

It was, apparently, all the motivation Cody needed. He rocked into motion, fucking Obi-Wan through it, mucles shifting and clenching under Obi-Wan’s hands until he cried out, as well, curling forward and coming in long, hot pulses and Obi-Wan felt them.

He’d gotten used to the way Cody rolled against him, after an orgasm. Even sensitive, he loved that slow movement, the knowledge that he could make Cody feel so good. He felt his breathing even out as Cody nuzzled against his hair, still all lit up, casting shadows on the walls around them.

Cody brushed a kiss to his mouth, long moments later, and shifted to slide out of him, murmuring, “Let me get you some--”

“Stay,” Obi-Wan panted, tugging on Cody’s arm even as he rolled. He wanted to - to see if he could wear Cody out, properly. But his hips protested the idea of trying another round on his back. He vaguely considered that he should have cleaned the come off of his stomach before smearing it all over the sheets, but it was too late to fix that now. He glanced over his shoulder and said, “Come here.”

Cody stared at him, looked down his body and then up again, eyes unfathomably dark. He said, “But… I know you’re tired.”

“Not that tired,” Obi-Wan assured him, and slid one knee a little out to the side, which was, he knew, a bit of a dirty trick.

Cody was ever so fascinated with the way he could bend and stretch his legs. And, sure enough, it had Cody sliding a hand up the back of his thigh, rolling a little closer, asking, “Should I hold you, then?”

“You should fucking me, then,” Obi-Wan told him, and Cody made a thick sound. After all, Obi-Wan wasn’t that sensitive, not yet. His plan was still manageable, and--

Cody slid against him, between his legs, settling close and all the thoughts fled Obi-Wan’s head as Cody asked, “You’re sure?”

“Come on,” Obi-Wan said, in answer, tilting his hips up, and then swore, thready, when Cody pushed forward, into him, all at once, he was already so slick and stretched and--

And Obi-Wan felt himself getting hard again, the situation getting more pressing when Cody worked a hand under him, gripping his cock, stroking in time with each thrust, panting against his shoulders, and--

Obi-Wan’s second orgasm left him shaking, face pressed against the sheets while Cody kept going, mouthing at the back of his neck, leaving his skin aching in anticipation. Obi-Wan managed to twist an arm up and back, to twist fingers into Cody’s hair, tugging him closer.

Cody bit him almost right by his neck, teeth sinking in at the end of his orgasm, when he felt most sensitive, and he cried out, blindingly aware of each slide of Cody’s cock, of each shift of his teeth, or his weight and warmth and light.

Cody blanketed him and came with a sound that was muffled against Obi-Wan’s skin.

And Obi-Wan managed to say, through the daze, before Cody could get any ideas about pulling out and getting him water, about tending to the bite, “Again.”

Cody made a ragged noise and rocked into him more purposefully, and it was--so much. Too much and at the same time not enough, as though there were some plateau in Obi-Wan’s head that he’d never reached before, and each too-much touch was driving him closer to it.

He squirmed, couldn’t stop himself, heard a whine in his throat as Cody kept his teeth set just so. There was no room for thought, for anything really. He was just his blood and his nerves and sensation, striving to see, exactly, how much he could take.

[andromedasstarship]

in the stars - chapter 2

photo credits - @ssahotchnerr

pairing - aaron hotchner x reader

warnings - canon-typical criminal minds violence, show rating 16+ for reference. depictions of violence, stalking, murder, angst, age gap couple, language 

summary - You and Aaron reunite, but it’s not exactly anything to celebrate over. The case moves forward, but you really wish it hadn’t like this.  

a/n - no one is allowed to call me out on my lack of LA/california geographical knowledge. ive also started including readers mental thought train which is italicized (flashbacks will also be in italics, but ill always properly mark a flashback). if you arent tagged but asked, just send another ask/reply! i mustve missed it on accident.

blog rules 

masterlist // read it on ao3 here

chapter 1 // chapter 3

-----

Chapter 2 

Aaron Hotchner was standing in front of you. Impeccable, not even a slight crease in his shoes and suit pressed to perfection. He still smelled faintly like cedar, a thought you quickly tried to send away; it was too late though, already remembering how pitiful it was post breakup, when you would smell the shirts he left at your house, a desperate attempt to remember that he existed in your life. You’d spent hours, days even, thinking about how you’d react if you were ever to see Aaron in person again. At the top of the list was screaming at him, really giving him a piece of your mind for leaving the way he did. Or, maybe you’d be cool and composed, the epitome of maturity and ‘I’m Totally Over You’. You’d even considered completely ignoring him, not even giving him a second glance. Instead you were frozen to the spot, staring up at the man who broke your heart. 

Pulling your eyes away from him, they darted towards the gap between his body and outside, internally debating if you’d be able to somehow sneak around him. As if he could read your mind, not like you had been particularly subtle, he moved to close the gap before you had the chance to fully formulate an escape. 

“Y/N,” he tried again, voice a bit firmer this time around. It’d be better if he couldn’t speak. But then again he had such a beautiful voice-. No, you mentally clamped down on that thought before it could lead you down another rabbit hole. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“Tell you, uh, what?” You asked, hyper aware of how mousy you must’ve sounded.

“That someone was murdering women that looked like you. You should’ve called my team sooner, it was irresponsible to put yourself at further risk of-” 

“Are you trying to imply that this is somehow my fault, Agent Hotchner?” The words felt bitter on your tongue. It wasn’t like you, to suddenly be so quick to anger. Years in the spotlight had taught you to hold your tongue, but Aaron’s words managed to cut right through. 

“That’s not what I’m saying, you know that-,” he tried to interject, but you weren’t going to back down so easy. 

“I know what Agent? Please, tell me the acceptable response to this situation,” you spat out at him, finding a brief enjoyment in the way his face scrunched up ever so slightly. “The police were working on the case, I’ve dealt with weirdos before.” Aaron opened his mouth again as if to speak, but you weren’t finished, “You really think I believed you’d answer if I called?” 

His face fell at that and you felt some form of internal victory swell in your chest. Y/N 1 point, Aaron Hotchner 0. The victory was short lived though, as you came to the realization that the two of you were still in a very public setting. 

“I’m not going to fight with you Agent, I suggest you get back to your team.” With that you shoved your way past him, stomping the entire way to your car. It was a shame, the way the anger and sadness was consuming you, maybe if it hadn’t, this time you would’ve noticed the clicking coming from the tree line. 

----

Hotch wished you had been angry; it would’ve been easier to handle you if you had been screaming in his face or throwing low-blow comments his way. He could deal with anger. It’d be easier if he could pretend that you were being completely out of line and could warrant being ignored for the rest of the case. 

That wasn’t you though, and he knew this. He didn’t have to be a profiler to see and hear the way you struggled to hold yourself together. He didn’t need to be a profiler to feel how disappointed you were with him. Hotch didn’t know how to deal with this or you.  Even though it had been months, had he truly fallen so far from your graces; was your opinion so lowly of him now? 

Hotch wasn’t sure which was worse to stomach, the fact that you had such little faith in him or the deep rooted feeling in his gut that told him you were right- had you called him unannounced two months ago, he wouldn’t have picked up the phone. 

----

You sat in your car for twenty minutes, at least. It was pitiful, the way you were crying in your car, to a sad playlist, over a guy who hurt your feelings; it felt like high school all over again. In the moment, you had felt good, the way you watched Aaron’s face twist and fall at your words giving you some sick form of satisfaction. 

It’s not like you had lied to him or anything. You hadn’t even stretched the truth for ultimate impact. The whole overly formal ‘Agent’ thing was definitely on purpose though. No, you had meant every word you said to Aaron, especially about not believing he’d answer if you called. What would you have even said if you called and he did pick up? Hi Aaron, remember me? Good, anyway hope you’re doing well but I think I have a murderous stalker, can you help? Actually, that’s probably exactly how the conversation would’ve gone, but that’s beside the point. 

The point was that even if you could trust the Unit Chief of the BAU to do his job, you weren’t sure you could trust Aaron Hotchner anymore. 

----

When you finally did muster up the courage to return to the conference room, you really wished you hadn’t. You should’ve just turned your car on and left. Was it possible to ghost the FBI? You’d heard enough stories from Aaron about how their tech wizard had found people with just a single loose thread, there was definitely no way you were going to make some spy like disappearance. 

Aaron wasn’t in the room, something you were grateful for in the moment. But what you weren’t grateful for was how the team had managed to set up multiple bulletin boards in your absence; filled with your photo, crime scene photos, the dead women and your personal least favorite, the dead women’s bodies. 

Of course, you knew what was going on, you were a big girl, well old enough to understand and process the gravity of the situation. But you’d only seen photos of the women alive, with personality and humanity; something about that made them look less like you and more like them. Looking at them now- dead, eyes closed, faces tilted away from the camera- these women didn’t just look like you, they were you. 

You hadn’t even realized you were drifting closer to one of the boards until you felt a hand pull at the crook of your elbow. Turning your head ever so slightly you saw JJ, giving you one of her nice looks again. 

“Y/N, you don’t need to see these,” JJ started, already pulling you in the opposite direction. You were about to agree, head already halfway to a full nod when you noticed something from the corner of your eye. 

“Wait!” You exclaimed, pulling your arm back and getting right in front of a photo of victim #2. You very gently pulled the photo of the wall and held it closely in front of your face. Were you allowed to move it? Oh well. You felt the rest of the team’s eyes burning holes through your back so you turned to face them. “I, um, I’m pretty sure the sweater she’s wearing is mine.” You said, voice coming out as a whisper. 

The team certainly seemed to liven up at that statement. Even though they hadn’t even been in LA for a full 24 hours yet, it was obvious from the start that LAPD hadn’t been lacking on the case, rather the unsub was just that good. They reported no evidence from any dump sites,- and now those sites had been contaminated far too much to double check- there had been no witnesses for any of the abductions, and the unsub hadn’t attempted any contact with Y/N; all in all, they had nothing. 

“Y/N, are you sure?” Emily asked, she was quickly pulling photos of the other three women down, bringing them over to the roundtable. “Are the women in these photos wearing anything else you recognize?” 

“Yeah, yeah I’m sure. There’s a little hole right there, on the side, the threads were pretty loose and I got stuck on a doorknob once, ripped it right open. I couldn’t find it when I went to fix it, just assumed I threw it away and forgot.” You said quietly, moving your way to the table. Your brain wasn’t working properly, hadn’t quite yet come to the conclusion that the rest of the agents already reached. He had gotten into your house. “Oh my god.” You whispered, voice shaking. “He was in my house, wasn’t he?” 

The agents all looked down at you with sympathetic gazes before Emily finally spoke up again. “We can’t be sure just yet, but I need you to look at these photos and tell me if you recognize anything else okay? Can you do that for me?” 

You nodded, making your way over to the table and taking a seat. You were well aware one of the agents just called for Hotch, but you couldn’t be bothered with that right now. 

----

“Hotch,” Derek said, his voice urgent as he rounded the corner, interrupting whatever conversation Hotch was having with a random officer, “Y/N recognized the sweater victim #2 was wearing at the dumpsite as hers. Emily’s showing her the rest of the photos and it’s looking like the unsub left something of hers on each one.” 

That certainly got Hotch’s attention. He didn’t need Derek to fill in the blank, the unsub had been in your house. His fists tightened at his side and he couldn’t help the way his face twisted in anger. In this state, Derek knew better than to question this unusually personal reaction, instead just angling his body back towards the conference room. He didn’t even have a chance to open his mouth before Hotch brushed past him, making his way back to you. 

----

Starting with a photo of victim #1, you very slowly pulled it closer in front of you. Oh my god, her neck. Obviously, you’ve seen bruises before, been on a whole bunch of film sets that used makeup to create some pretty gory pieces, but nothing like this. The unsub didn’t just stangle these women, it was like he wanted to completely crush their throats. 

One of the agents behind you was questioning your ability to stomach this, so you quickly forced yourself to focus. It was the least you could do for these poor women, just give them your undivided attention for ten minutes, and then you could deal with everything else later.

Your finger traced over the bracelet victim #1 was wearing. “This is mine. There’s a singular heart engraved on the back of the third diamond’s plating. I bought it for myself after I got cast in my first big role, cried for weeks when I ‘lost’ it.” 

“And what about this one?” Emily asked, gently pulling victim #1’s photo away from you and replacing it with #4. You didn’t miss the way she turned the photos you’d already looked at upside down, as if to further shield you from them. Nor did you miss that she was technically skipping victim #3. 

It didn’t take you long to notice what was yours on victim #4. “It’s the dress, it’s really comfy, I used to wear it a lot, like a lot a lot. I brought it with me so often on trips I just assumed it got left in a hotel room somewhere.” 

Emily nodded, taking back that photo and turning it over as well. You could see her hesitation in showing you victim #3, but she slid it across the table to you as well. Her fingertips ghosting on the edge of the photo, ready to pull it back as soon as you gave an answer.

Victim #3 was tough. She looked the most like you, both when she was alive and certainly the way she looked now. 

You took a sharp intake of breath as you looked down at her the first thing that caught your eye was the necklace. Most certainly yours and most certainly the one that Aaron had given you for your three year anniversary. You realized it was lost a few months after the breakup and nearly tore your house apart looking for it; you didn’t have many things from your relationship with Aaron to prove he was once part of your life, making the few things you did have all the more important. “The necklace, there’s an A engraved on the back and I’m pretty sure those shoes are mine too.” Emily swept the photo back and out of view as soon as the last words left your lips. 

“JJ, get those items out of evidence immediately so we can be absolutely sure,” Hotch ordered. Aaron. You hadn’t even realized he had walked into the room, you turned to look at him, eyes wide with sadness and fear. The tears that were beginning to form tugged viciously on his heart.  “Miss L/N, my team and I are going to escort you back to your home and we’re going to need to canvas it for signs of entry and identify if anything else is missing. Is that okay?” He asked, his voice soft with something most of the members couldn’t place. 

You simply nodded at that, glad that you wouldn’t have to be alone, “Do you need my address, or will you just follow my car?” There was definitely humor in that, Aaron already knew exactly where you lived and the code to get through the gates. 

“Your address is already in our files, but for your safety we’ll be following close behind.” He assured you. The rest of the team was jumping into action, grabbing their personal belongings along with copious amounts of gloves and bags you assumed would be for potential evidence. 

As you all exited the building and entered your respective vehicles, it was Reid who realized where he’d heard that softness in Hotch’s voice before. It was the same tone he used to use with Hayley, back when things were good. 

----

Your house wasn’t far and it was a drive you knew well; grateful for the ability to somewhat distract yourself on the road. The gatesman to your development gave you a real odd look when you told him the two black SUV’s filled with FBI agents were with you, but you couldn’t care less about which neighbor he might spread that info too. Did you see? L/N brought in the FBI, wonder what she’s caught up in. At least all the neighbors and workers had signed airtight NDAs, no one was allowed to talk to any outsiders about the personal happenings of their fellow residents. 

Your house was towards the top of the hill, with a great overlook to the ocean. You had only been 20 when you bought the house and you viewed it as the ultimate achievement of all your hard work and determination. You couldn't shake the bad taste in your mouth as you pulled up the driveway. The house felt tainted now, something you were never sure you’d be able to shake. 

----

Once again, not exactly how you imagined the entire team entering your house for the first time. Your house was extensive, as were the grounds; the team quickly realized they would probably be here for the rest of the day and well into the night.

You were standing awkwardly in the middle of your foyer, unsure of how to exactly approach this situation. “So, there’s about 10 rooms in the house, not including the kitchen and general living spaces, as well with the basement which is technically one big room. I made maps once as a joke, I think I have some in the office, if you wanted those? Or we could do one big house tour and you can break off that way,” you were so rambling, but them being in your house and why they were in your house was setting in, “or you can just go off however you want-” 

“Miss L/N,” JJ said, there was that nice look again, “why don’t you show me around the house so I can get a base level understanding of everything there is. The rest of my team will go start a basic canvas of the inside and the grounds as well.” Thank you JJ. 

You nodded at this, glad that someone else was taking control of the situation. Before you could lead JJ towards the kitchen, your phone started to ring, startling you. When did you get this skittish? 

“My friend is calling,” you said, holding up your phone, “I gotta take this, I was supposed to meet him for coffee a few minutes ago.” You excused yourself, quickly making your way to an empty room away from the rest of the team. Your friend was annoyed at your more than last minute cancellation, but luckily he didn’t pry too hard and accepted your flimsy “I’m not feeling too well’ excuse on the first go. 

“I know, I’m sorry, but I promise I’ll make it up to you as soon as I feel better. Yeah, I love you too. I gotta go, bye.” As you hung up, you could feel a gaze burning into the back of your head. Turning around, you found Aaron staring down at you from the doorway. How long had he been there? 

“You should have told us about your boyfriend sooner. Trying to protect him from questioning will only-”

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” you exclaimed, a bit too hurriedly, “I, uh, I’m not seeing anyone at all actually, haven’t in a while.” Smooth. 

Aaron was smart enough to read through the lines and understand what you had left unsaid. His gaze didn’t give up, but you could’ve swore you saw relief somewhere in his eyes. You weren’t sure if you were supposed to say something, or if he was supposed to say something, or should you walk out, or- 

“Neither have I.” Hotch’s voice broke through your thoughts, but just as quickly as he said it, he turned on his heel and left you alone in the room.

----

a/n - if anyone is wondering ive 100% cried multiple times at how kind and supportive everyone has been with me about this story. we’re only 2 chapters in but im already sad for it to end. yes i 100% have a bunch of other wip ideas for hotch. anywaaaaaaay, replies/asks/comments/reblogs/likes always appreciated! thank you so much for reading 

Taglist: @mac99martin @iwaizumiee @kylorendrip @hqtchner @lieswithoutfairytales @ssahoodrathotchner @midsummernightdream @weasleylovers @evans-dejong @itsmytimetoodream @yoshigguk @28cnn @cuddlyklaus @hotch-meeeeeuppppp

no permission is given to republish or upload my fics anywhere else. if you see this story not on my tumblr or ao3 it is stolen work. i do not own criminal minds or any of the characters involved

[thesleepy1]

Rain's Quite A Lovely Thing

A/N: Sorry for no fics for so long. I was just not in the mood. Really not in the mood for anything. Though, at the very least, I wrote this at a reasonable time. That’s one bright side, I guess. Unnbeta’d as always. And this was requested by a friend. I really hope they like it.

Pairings: Arthur x Merlin

Summary: Arthur had been trying to court Merlin for ages but the man just didn’t seem to be able to take a hint.

Word count: 1,238

Part 2

Part 3

Warnings: no warnings

The great king is only as good as his court. Arthur was the greatest of his time for one reason and one reason only. For he had Merlin by his side. The great wizard himself, who could make the sky turn green and the world tilt off its axis. The most incredible magic user to exist, to ever exist and ever will.

However, no matter how great a man Merlin was, he was still undoubtedly a fool. The biggest idiot to ever walk the world. Here be dragons was a lie, here be Merlin’s intelligence made more sense. Arthur had been trying to court him for the past year and all he got from the brunette was, “Aren’t you betrothal, sire?”

He was not. And frankly, never will be. Women, queens, and princesses, even common ladies were the farthest from his interest. Not to say they were bad in any way. No. Never, he would never think of such a thing. Arthur loved the woman in his life dearly. It was just that men had always been the one to peak his interest. Merlin especially.

When he had first realized he had fallen for his servant, he was ready to leap off from a castle turret. Merlin, off all people. He could just not believe that that man could have possibly won his heart. Off all the men in his life, it just had to be his Merlin. Not his Merlin, per say-

Arthur only meant he would be happy if he had fallen head over heels for one of his knights. Now they were worth his affections. They were strong, loyal, compassionate, and most importantly, they made his heart skip a beat with just one look. Though, if he had to be honest with himself, Merlin took his breath away.

Dear god, Arthur was in, in love with Merlin.

How would he ever meet his servant’s eyes again? How was he supposed to court the man for over a year just to have him meet his eyes and say, “Aren’t you betrothal, sire?” Like that would matter. Like Arthur would care about something as mundane as an arranged marriage when Merlin could build cities with a flick of his hand. His possible arranged marriages be damned, Arthur wanted Merlin’s affections and Merlin’s affections only.

The only question was how.

Arthur had done everything. For months! And yet, Merlin was still not taking the bait and spending the rest of his life with Arthur. What did he have to do to win Merlin over before it was too late? What did he need to do? Slay a dragon? Protect his city? Venture off on an elaborate quest to find some dumb item that only he could find? At this point the king was ready to do anything at the top of a hat.

“Have you actually told him, you liked him?”

“Of course, I ha-”

He had not.

“Merlin!” Arthur yelled to his servant the very next morning when he came in to tend to the king.

“Has the cat finally returned your tongue, sire?” Merlin greeted with a slight grin to his lips. Not that Arthur had been staring at his lips.

“I would hardly call myself quiet, Merlin.”

Merlin walked over to his bedside, laying a new set of clothes over a chair. His hands expertly moved so as to not leave a single wrinkle to his clothes. Now Arthur was staring. He couldn’t help but notice how much care Merlin took with everything he did. Except properly walking that is.

“At least you’re aware.”

“What did you say?”

“Nothing you and your silent nature need to worry about,” Merlin grinned at him.

“You can’t make fun of me, Merlin. I’m a king,” Arthur replied without the usual bite.

The man must have noticed by some sort of magic because he turned to face Arthur. Arthur will never get used to the look he gave him. “Are you running a fever, sire?”

“A fever- Of course I’m not running a fever, Merlin. What’s gotten into you? Thinking I had a fever.” Merlin didn’t look convinced, leaning forward and laying a cool hand onto his forehead. Arthur could practically feel himself heat up at the brief contact that was for purely medical reasons. He was going insane.

“You’re quite warm. I better have Gaius make you some medicine,” Merlin went on, retracting his gentle hand from Arthur’s face. “Stay put. I’ll be right back.” He turned to leave.

“Merlin wait-” Before Arthur knew it he had Merlin’s arm in his hand. When did Merlin become so muscular? Perhaps lugging around Arthur’s equipment had something to do with that.

“For what, sire?” Merlin looked down to the hand on his arm. He almost seemed annoyed at this for whatever reason. “Do you want me to undress you to your bare bottom as well?” the wizard asked, blunt as the day he was born.

Arthur blushed at that, his face heating up farther. “N-no,” even he sounded unsure to his own ears. “I just want you to stay with me….” he trailed off, thinking of some sort of excuse. “Until my fever lessens of course. Camelot needs a king and if he dies of a sickness, then it would be on you, Merlin.” Arthur nodded to himself. “It's best if you stay here…. With me.”

Merlin rolled his eyes, as if knowingly. “Yes, sire. Whatever you wish.” His eyes then glanced back down to Arthur’s hand. Instantly the king removed his hand as if Merlin’s skin had burned him. Though, Arthur would give just about anything to be burned by Merlin’s touch. The kingdom be damned.

“Do you want me in your bed as well?” That certainly caught Arthur’s attention.

“Wh-what?!”

“Do you want more blankets, sire? You still look feverish,” Merlin explained in a calculating manner, peering down on Arthur.

“Uh- Yes…. That would be nice,” Arthur regained his composure, “Though you should have already brought them over.” Arthur shuffled back into his bed, tugging Merlin by the sleeve alone with him. “Really, Merlin, do I have to tell you how to do everything?” He indicated with his eyes towards the pillows supporting his back.

With a sigh Merlin fluffed them. “May I go back to my other duties?”

“Actually, I’ve changed my mind.” Another eye roll. “Stay.” Arthur patted the space next to him on his bed. “I want to have a word or two with you.”

Merlin sat down comfortably next to Arthur, his arm outstretched to stabilize himself. He was awfully close to Arthur. He did not mind this. “What would you like to talk about?” This was said with a softer tone, as if Merlin was worried about Arthur.

“I-” The king’s heart skipped a beat. All the air left his lungs. “I love….”

“You love?”

“I love the rain! That’s how I got sick. You know this, Merlin. I just rained yesterday,” Arthur laughed forcibly. “My knights and I were training from sunrise to sunset. It would make sense that I eventually got sick. As much as I act invincible, I’m only human.”

Merlin watched his forced expressions with interest. A number of emotions flashed across his eyes, but the one that stood out the most to Arthur was what seemed like disappointment. What could Merlin possibly be disappointed about? Arthur was the one who failed his confession.

“You are only human, sire.”

[saphirered]

Hi there! You writings are wonderful. Please could you do an EssekXreader where the reader is from another high ranking den and is betrothed to Essek for political reasons. Both Essek and Reader aren't keen on the idea but eventually after spending time together realise they actually have feelings for each other, I'm thinking a bit like The Swan Princess. Please and thank you.

This is gonna be a two parter as the current draft already exceeds my usual word count limit 🙈 so stay tuned for part two in the next few days! Hope you enjoy 😘

Denial. It must be a cruel joke. Your family, your den they would never use you as a pawn in a bigger plot. This was all just a cruel joke or a move to assure their political advancement without the need to go through with this.

Anger. No. This is real. How dare they? How could they? They would use you like that? Without having the decency to let you know before the deal was made no less! Were it anyone else you’d crush them beneath your boot like the vermin they are for condemning you to a fate not of your own choosing. Perhaps you still might…

Bargain. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe you could just play your part and go your separate ways. A betrothal doesn’t have to end in a marriage. Even if it does, all that counts is appearances. Beyond that you could still have your own life right? You’d always be able to make the ‘me’ decision and wouldn’t have to take in account the ‘we’. Yes that should be right.

Depression. Your life is ruined! You’ll forever be tied to someone else without your consent. Your decisions will reflect on the many now. You’ll have to watch your every move and every choice or it may reflect terribly on your legacy. There’ll be expectations and can you ever live up to them while still being content with your own life or will you be sacrificing your happiness for something so stupid?

Acceptance. Acceptance…. Hell no!

Time for the first official meeting with Essek Thelyss in the context of your arrangement. You’d met many times before given both of your stations and reputations but now, you couldn’t help but feel a coldness towards the man regardless of what cordial or friendly dynamic you might have had in your limited social interactions.

Your respective families meet. You on your side, Essek on his. Both of you portray the facial expressions excepted of you; indifferent content. Nothing over excited nor anything remotely negative either but you’ve been raised a reader of the people and you could see through the cracks in Essek’s appearance. He’s just as happy with this arrangement as you are; not at all.

“It is a pleasure to meet you here today.” Essek speaks. The rules of engagement have not forgone any of you despite your discontent with this whole situation but for the sake of your watching families you’d play your parts. You’d put on a damn good show.

“You as well Shadowhand. Light be blessed we get to spend it in such magnificent company.” You can feel the approving look burn into the back of your head from your Denmother. They’d be none the wiser.

And so the negotiations began. All be damned if you did not at the very least were able to set some of your own terms in this arrangement. Fundings to sustain your lifestyle or a dowry were the least of your worries. You were more concerned with a place you could call your own, time to spend for yourself, security and stability and the ability to continue your life as is regardless of possible marriage. You would never give up your seat at the Bright Queen’s council and you’re very sure Essek wouldn’t give up his either.

Essek had to admit you played the game well. You’re a killer negotiator. Your persuasive side had shone at the Bastion more than once but those circumstances are wholly different than these. Your ability to make it sound like these ideas came from your den and not yourself, and have them think these suggestions were their ideas in the first place is simply remarkable. Remarkable and dangerous. Respect. But no matter how good of a talker you are, or he is for that matter, neither of you could get out of this.

Afternoon tea, a few lunches and dinners here and there and even a few events you were forced to attend with Essek as your escort under the careful watch of your dens. Whenever you were sure they were out of earshot you did not make it unknown neither of you wanted to be here and would prefer to be as far away from each other as possible.

Then there were the times you swore you might actually be able to like the Shadowhand. Councils held lead to many arguments, the Bright Queen watching the court fight among themselves for a next course of action, fundings to be divided and efforts to be pursued. You always kept a level head not allowing yourself to get worked up, or at least appear you weren’t but sometimes you could strangle the life out of some of these fools.

To your surprise in some of these occasions Essek would take your side and support your arguments, concerns and points brought up in debates. So he does know what’s good for him after all? Those moments were quickly ruined by the next point on the schedule where you’d be at opposing sides again. Usually you’d be able to work up an opponent in debate until their credibility would be questioned but Essek had caught onto your games and was no fool. If you could keep your cool, so could he. You had learned how to push his buttons as he had yours.

After a particularly heated debate the Bright Queen dismissed the dens, done with the bickering and infighting for the day. You couldn’t blame her even though there were still many things unspoken. You and Essek were at odds once more and you couldn’t be happier to be done for the day and head somewhere you wouldn’t be forced to interact with the asshole.

Conferring with your allies, trying to gain support of others, you grabbed your things ready to leave the Bastion. There he floated in the anti-chamber eyes cold focussed on you, waiting. You pretend you don’t notice and keep walking for the exit. Essek calls your name as you’re about to pass him. You don’t respond and keep going. He calls again. No response. He grabs your arm stopping you in your tracks. How you’d hoped to escape this confrontation.

“A moment of your time please.” The words leave his lips with an artificial, well-practiced warmth. Oh you’re fighting so hard to contain yourself but you too had a facade to keep up.

“Another time perhaps. I’ve grown quite exhausted after the day’s events. If you will excuse me.” You smile innocently placing your hand over his secured around your wrist. You pry your fingers beneath forcing him to release his grasp on you.

“Then allow me to escort you back home. Should you be able to muster up the strength to converse on our path I’d love nothing more than to just hear your voice.” Essek encases your hands between his. Eyes of the dens fall upon the two of you in the middle of the anti-chamber. Essek is known to be a reserved individual and these advances definitely stand out.

Oh so that’s the game we’re playing. Asshole move, Shadowhand. Two can play this game. If it’s the company you’re currently in he’s using against you you can do the same. You take a step closer to him standing on your tiptoes and lean in to press your lips to his cheek. You linger just a little and whisper into his ear.

“I have nothing to say to you.” You allow the distaste to bleed through your barely audible words before you pull away and take a step back. You couldn’t refuse his ‘generous offer’. It might make you look bad so you smile bright and nod even managing to call on a fake blush like some lovesick fool. From the corners of your eyes you notice the court members whisper among each other. Good. Let them talk. You link your arm through Essek’s still carrying your things.

“I believe I might have forgotten my transcripts of the day. Would you mind joining me in retrieving them?” So whatever the wizard needed to discuss with you he couldn’t say in public… Oh Essek what a mistake you made… That certainly offers you some opportunities to use to your advantage.

“Nonsense! I have my transcripts. You’re free to borrow them, or perhaps you’d like to study them with me? It might give us the opportunity to come to a compromise without wasting the Council’s time. After all, there’s much more pressing matters.” His expression might be a thankful one but if looks could kill… you’d be introduced into your next life this very second.

You begin leading Essek out of the building not allowing him any response or comeback for your previous statement. You walk head held high catching onto the praises of others. ‘A great match’? If only they knew…

Your walk continued in seething silence from Essek. Until you reached your home. Opening the door and leaning against the doorframe making sure no one else is in sight, you smirk at him.

“I’m curious. If I refused to part with these,” You hold up the transcripts. “What would you do? Would you go back and receive your own copies or would you go without them?” You leaf through the pages. It’s not like you needed them. You already had all you needed memorised so if anything they’d go into your archives for future reference and case study if necessary. Essek doesn’t dignify you with an answer yet so you continue to press his buttons.

“Would you be able to discredit my every word or counter them without the direct word for word reference? Would your arguments hold any weight against my own? Or would you be forced to depend on the vote or Light’s mercy, the Bright Queen’s verdict because if the latter, you’ve already lost, my dear.” You can’t hold back the smugness in your achievements. The look of defeat brought you satisfaction.

Essek bites his tongue. Even he knows that in theoretics you have the upper hand now. Recalling your words from memory alone wouldn’t be enough. He’d needed to cite them exactly providing the transcript in your possession. He couldn’t go back or it might arise questions, questions he couldn’t afford at this moment. What caught him off guard was you offering him the transcript still. He takes it before you can change your mind, the pages disappearing beneath his cloak.

“Luckily for you I’m not your enemy. Yes we might disagree on matters of state but at the end of the day we’re going to be stuck together and there’s nothing either of us can do about it.”

“What are you suggesting?” Essek doesn’t know wether he should be wary, outright suspicious, or glad you’ve come up with a plan amidst the chaos.

“A truce. If we keep these antics going it will lead to a war between the two of us. Are you really prepared to be expected to spend the rest of your life with someone you’ve grown to hate? Because I’m not. I’d rather sleep in my bed withe the comfort of knowing my partner will not stab me in the back or sabotage me at every opportunity he gets.” Partner. He. Not they. He. So not even you had a way out of this betrothal.

“Resentment grows much faster than affection.” Essek deadpans. Yes he sees your reasonings and you make some solid arguments but that doesn’t mean he has to trust your motives. He’s aware you in your position are much more dangerous than any spy, assassin or foreign force.

“Light be with me.” You’re exasperated. You’re offering an olive branch and this is his response? You pull him inside and close the door dropping the act entirely within the confines of your own home knowing no one will be watching you here.

“I am not offering you an epic enemies to lovers tale! I’m offering to make the best out of a situation neither of us actually want to be in! Marriage is just another contract. We do what is expected of us by following it to the letter and nothing more, nothing less. Love or affection is not part of that contract but respect is.” Essek takes in your words and considers them making sure you’re not twisting things in such a way you could later use against him or to your advantage.

“Your logic is sound and your arguments persuasive.” You raise your hand in an exasperated ‘thank you’ as he straightens your back and looks down at you.

“Very well. We have an agreement.” You’re on the verge of letting out a breath of relief at Essek agreeing to your terms and suggestions. You’d rather be sure this man isn’t going to drop you on a different plane in your sleep once you’ll be forced to share a home. You’d rather know you can trust him to have your back despite your grievances. At the end of the day, you both want to survive.

“Match made in Elysium.” Sarcasm is clear in your voice and the both of you cannot help but smile. More like match made in hell with the ‘letter of the law’ approach to navigating your predicament.

—————

Pacing back and forth fingers pressed to your lips in thought of Essek’s sitting room you ponder the terms of your agreement. Essek himself is seated on the couch leaning over a two sheets of paper, a long list of demands from both sides written on each.

“Next up housing.” You announce. Essek fiddles with the pen looking over the lists.

“I’m not willing to part with my towers unless something of equal or greater value is returned. I need space for my practices, experiments and studies.”

“I’ll agree to part with my own home under the terms you will share your personal resources with me and I will have amicable space for my own pursuits be this here or at another place of our mutual choosing.” Essek considers your terms on this matter. They are agreeable but this is a negotiation and neither of you are refraining from pushing for an outcome to suit yourself best.

“We will share my home then but we will both share our resources unless they pertain to exclusively personal matters or those of state when we inevitably find ourselves on opposing sides in the Bastion.” You stop pacing and turn to face Essek. He watches for your responses.

“I get my own tower.” You counter.

“That’s preposterous. I have need for certain rooms and areas for my studies and cannot relocate them.”

“Fine. Then I’ll get all unoccupied or unnecessary rooms.”

“You’ll get your own private bedchambers, study and sitting room just as I’ll have mine. These chambers will be exclusive and privacy to be respected. Other spaces save for my laboratory, for your own safety, are communal.” By the expression on your face Essek knows you’ve caught him in a loophole.

“Agreed. We’re entitled to our private spaces and will share the unspecified ones. Kitchen, dining room, living area… library…” You caught hime there… Essek’s expression turns sour. He’d have preferred to keep that one to himself but the agreement is fair.

“I wish to make an amendment.”

“Name your terms.”

“Some shelves will belong to my private collection. You will refrain from touching these tomes and scrolls without my explicit permission.” You ponder not entirely convinced. There’s nothing in there for you and Essek knows it. You raise an eyebrow for him to continue and concede on a previously negotiated term for this amendment to go through.

“And in return, you get to redecorate our communal spaces how you see fit, within the realms of reason.” Essek empathises the latter part of his statement.

“Agreeable.” You nod. “Next up; social engagements.”

The two of you go back and forth agreeing, adjusting, and conceding to come to an equal understanding and finalise your arrangement. Over all, it went surprisingly well. It certainly was a nice change of scene to have somewhat friendly negotiations without the added pressure of the dens and the Bright Queen herself watching you.

Essek makes for a good conversationalist and you might even dare say you enjoyed your afternoon setting the terms and conditions. Maybe you could be friends after all. That would be nice.

[spiral-ingoutofcontrol]

Where the Ocean is the Sky Part Four: Spider

Andy had never had any particularly strong feelings towards spiders. Bonnie Anne hated them with a burning passion. She’d almost shot Ratbeard through the foot once trying to kill a spider crawling across the deck of the Steel Heart. He hadn’t been too happy about that and would still bring it up it anytime Bonnie Anne tried to volunteer him for something stupid or dangerous. Those two drove her up the wall sometimes, especially when they started dragging the rest of the crew into their spats, but she wouldn’t trade her crew away for the world. Even if Bonnie Anne shot ten holes through the ship’s hull trying to kill spiders in the most impractical way she possibly could.

If she was here now she'd be losing her mind over the spider that was diligently spinning its web across the rafters of the dorm room that Merle had let her move into. The place was practically empty, a bed, a desk, and a small chest for her to store her things in. Not that she had much to store anyway. Andy had been surprised by the cathedral-esk ceiling and wondered if every student was treated to such a neat set up or if Merle had given her a nicer room as some sort of strange apology. ‘Sorry you got your memories erased- here are some gothic windows!’ She stretched her arms over head, trying to loosen the muscles in her back. 

Who was she kidding? They were wizards, all of the dorms definitely looked like this.

Andy rubbed her hands across her face, trying to get her body to sink into the soft mattress she’d been provided with. Something about it was just wrong. The mattress wasn’t resting on the most uncomfortable slab of plywood in the entire spiral and the room wasn’t being rocked gently back and forth by the wind. She couldn’t remember the last time she slept in a normal bed. She had a house- a big old villa tucked away from prying eyes- but she mostly used it for meetings and storing away the treasures she gained on her travels through the skyways. All of her nights were spent in the captain’s quarters on her ship, even when she was docked at her villa. She hadn’t realized how much she relied on the creaking of the ship to lull her to sleep. And now she couldn’t seem to ignore it.

Impatient and annoyed with her body, Andy sat up in bed, reaching for her boots. A late night walk wasn’t going to hurt anyone. She considered changing back into her regular clothes before going out, but she decided against it. It was the middle of the night, no one was going to be out and about, and if they were they’d just have to get over the fact that she was walking around in her pajamas.

There was something different in the air in Ravenwood. Everywhere that Nora had dragged her around to over the day had a feeling that lingered in everything that was so unlike all of the worlds that she’d been to before. It wasn’t until they walked through the tunnel leading to the school that Andy realized it was magic. It permeated everything in Wizard City, but here it was the strongest. She could taste the strength of the magic under her tongue- just like she had when she shook Nora’s hand- but instead of the sweet orange of Nora it was a metallic vanilla, something similar to Madame Vadima’s ghost potion. She wondered what caused magic to taste different. Was it the kind of spell being cast or was it the caster?

Andy wasn’t sure how she felt about all of the questions that were piling up in her head. Sure, asking any of them wouldn’t be out of line with her cover story, but it felt wrong. Of course she loved learning about new worlds and cultures- she didn’t just sail around the known universe because she liked to make money. She liked adventure. She liked to discover new things. But something felt different about this. Normally when she travelled to a new world it wasn’t with the explicit thought that she would never come back there again. Asking questions that weren’t necessary to the heist were just going to make it harder for her to do her job. Once she figured out how the hell to do it, that is.

“Late night?” Andy whipped around at the voice, feet apart and fists up, ready to throw a swing at whoever had made the mistake of sneaking up on her. “Well, aren’t you a jumpy one.”

Andy blinked slowly at the speaker. The tree with flaming eyes was smiling at her happily, clearly proud of the way that he had managed to scare her. She dropped her fists, the firelight of the branches dancing across her pale skin. “Sorry. I’m not used to-”

“To trees talking?” he offered with a bright grin. She bit her lip.

“To all of this.”

“Come,” his flames didn’t really move- at least Andy didn’t think that they really moved- but they beckoned her forward. “Tell me what’s troubling you, child.”

What exactly was she supposed to tell the magical tree? I can’t sleep because she hasn't slept in a real bed in years? The mere taste of magic in the air is keeping her awake? That she’s lying to everyone here and was worried that everything was going to fall apart the moment she tried to make her move? She was pretty sure that one was going to get her set on fire, and she could definitely do without that happening. So, she said the only other thing that she could think of.

“There’s a spider in my room.”

The tree let out a big-bellied laugh (did magical talking trees have bellies?), branches shaking as he chuckled at her made up plight. If she was actually scared of spiders she might’ve been more offended, but seeing as she was bullshitting him she didn’t mind all that much. “A mere spider keeps you awake?”

She shrugged. “I don’t like their legs.”

“Here my child,” a single burning leaf drifted down from his branches, cooling to a burnt black as it reached the ground. “Take this and spread the ashes over the threshold of your room. You won’t have to worry about spiders anymore.”

Despite the fact that the leaf had been on fire only a few moments ago, it was cool to her touch. She looked up at the tree, the leaf cradled tenderly in her hands. “Thank you.”

“Sleep well, firefly.”

His flickering voice and sweet nickname filled her with an odd sort of warmth, not dissimilar to lounging in the sun on a summer afternoon. She gave the tree a small wave before turning and heading back toward the dormitories. She didn’t really plan on crumbling the leaf to keep spiders out of her room- she really didn’t mind them enough to take such drastic measures- but she would definitely be keeping the leaf. Who knows, maybe she’d be able to use it for something later. Or maybe she could just keep it and give it to Bonnie Anne when she got back home. Ratbeard would probably appreciate not getting shot at anymore.

As she closed the door behind her, the taste of silvery vanilla disappeared from her lips, and she almost found herself missing it.

[mycrofts-gunbrella]

Severus Snape x Reader- Parchment and Cologne (Part One)

"Is it wrong? Like seriously am I completely bonkers?" You laughed to your best friend.

"Having a crush on our head of house/ potions master/ evil bat dungeon swooshy cape man? I mean it's not particularly great, Y/N, is it?" She laughed back. "Besides, why Ol' Snapey Boy when you could have Professor Lockhart? Now that, my friend, is man you could do you wonders.. if you catch my drift.." She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and you couldn't help but smack her with your pillow.

"Honestly, (F/N), I often ask myself how I possibly bring myself to be able to tolerate you.. I open my heart for 5 minutes and get attacked." You smirked.

"It's because you love me really.. plus, I should be asking myself the same question. My 18 year old best friend is going all heart eyes over human Scar." You looked at her quizzically before she answered your oncoming question. ".. muggle movie reference. I'm honestly going to force you to watch Disney movies one day." She swore. You rolled your eyes at her for changing the subject and slumped back in your bed.

"Honestly what am I going to do? It's beyond 13 year old me's little crush now.. ever since he started properly teaching us last year and with all the revision sessions he offered me I actually really like him.." You sighed and borderline smacked your head against the headboard.

"Why him anyway? You seem to have chosen the only man who is in love with a cloak. Seriously, he takes that thing everywhere. I'm 99% sure it's stitched into the man's neck at this point." She giggled the last part to herself but you heard it all the same.

"If you actually bothered turning up to our revision session and didn't make me be the only person that shows you'd see that he's actually really caring.. he's even cracked a few jokes every now and then" you smiled to yourself. ".. plus he's hot." You both began to burst out laughing again before you decided it was time to turn in.

"Try not to dream of your lover boy, Y/N... you have a study session with him first thing tomorrow. Don't want to be all flustered." She winked before blowing the lamp out. Honestly she wound you up as much as she could but, she was right, you do love her really.

The hours of sleep seemed to pass by within minutes as you soon found yourself wandering the great corridors of Hogwarts to the potions classroom, knocking three times on the door before entering as you always do. With simple 'good mornings' shared and a book left in your normal seat you got straight to studying. Popping in the same strawberry gum you never seemed to run out of, you chewed quietly as you got to work. Typically, Snape would stay beside you and help you answer any questions you may have whilst also asking many more of his own. In the few months of studying with Snape it was evident that the two of you created some kind of bond, whether it be him simply asking you how your day has been or letting you in to some memories of his, Snape was definitely becoming more open and comfortable around you. And you loved it.

Today however was different.

"I do apologise but I'm going to have to work on a half prepared potion that's been left at the back of my classroom. Although I say 'half prepared' in the sense that half of it is now on the floor. How Mr Finnigan has even survived this long in the wizarding world is truly beyond me." He spoke, walking to the discarded cauldron and working on the mixture of ingredients.

"And you're making it for him? Now do correct me if I'm wrong Professor but that's a seemingly nice action. Are you feeling alright?" You joked, glancing behind you and warming inside when you saw the small smile appear on his face.

"Don't lose your head, Miss L/N. I simply do not wish for this entire thing to go to waste... besides, I need Mr Finnigan to have a perfect example for him to refer to when he comes back this afternoon to write a 4 paged essay on it." The smile raised to the side of his mouth and, should it have been anyone else, you'd have dared say a slight wink followed. You felt your cheeks turn pink and turned back to your book.

"What's with the formalities all of a sudden? 'Miss L/N'? You're making me feel like a child again, Professor." You attempted to distract yourself from looking at the man behind you.

"Well then I must insist you call me Severus in such meetings as this. Of course you must understand you're only permitted to say this when we're alone, Y/N." God you loved it when he said your name but he's really allowing you to go by his own first name? Your cheeks burned more and you felt your cool hands rush to your face to calm them.

"Seems fair, Severus." You felt his name roll off your tongue and it felt right. You turned behind you and saw a shade of red begin to dust the older man's cheeks as he gave you a curt nod. Silence pursued. Minutes passed and you felt yourself begin to shiver. Of course the one day you decide to leave your robe in your room is the one day it's minus seven thousand in the dungeons. You attempted to ignore the goosebumps appearing on your arms as you read through another passage of Snape's hand written notes for you. Your concentration lacked as you began to rub your hands over your arms and you became uncomfortable. "Hey Profe-uh Severus? I'm just going to go-" you didn't get to finish your sentence before a sudden warmth enveloped you. Confusion took over before you suddenly felt like your face was on fire. Severus Snape. Had. Given. You. His. Cloak.

"You were foolish to believe it wouldn't be cold down here, Y/N. I took you as one of my smartest students and yet you clearly lack common sense." He mused, a playful undertone in his voice that let you know he wasn't being serious. You stammered out a small 'thank you' before continuing back to your work. Why had he given you his cloak? The Slytherin common room was only around the corner; you could be back in less than 5 minutes. You decided to stop questioning it and pressed on. Time seemed to drag in the newly found silence until you began to have a very very strong smell of tea. The same tea Sev usually has on his desk before every lesson, but you hadn't seen it today. Next followed the distinct smell of old parchment and? Snape's cologne? You turned your head to find nothing but Severus stirring the last ingredient into his cauldron. Weird.

"Uh, Severus? Can you smell that? It's like the library in here." You laughed a little. "And, not to sound weird or anything because I obviously don't just walk around and smell you.. uh.. because obviously that's not normal.." you began to mutter incoherently before realising you were actually mid-sentence. "... but have you like sprayed your cologne? Or whatever you use? Because it's really strong... not that it's not a nice smell because it is a nice smell but-" you were cut off by raised eyebrows staring in your direction. Before you could even mention the fact it smelt like you were sitting inside a teapot Severus cut you off.

"What did you say?" He asked, looking at you as if you were a mad man.

"That I smell old paper? And your cologne? What's so crazy about that?" You questioned.

"Nothing. Nothing would be crazy about that. Except I've run out of my cologne and all the books are in the cupboard... and I'm brewing amortentia.." It was almost as though the world had stopped spinning. He was brewing amortentia? You knew exactly what that meant.. you'd been caught out. You opened your mouth to speak but nothing came out. Your face burnt and your mouth became dry as you tried to form even a single sentence. Snape cut you off once more by taking a deep inhale of the cauldron in front of him. ".. I smell.. raspberry shampoo.. peppermint tea and... that strawberry bubblegum those Weasley Twins sell in that little shop of theirs.." You froze again. "So.. you." You felt like you were about to collapse. "I smell.. you." Good lord Y/N, Severus bloody Snape has just told you he smells you in the amortentia.. MOVE.

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

Lily Evans and Severus Snape: Headcanons

So, I was asked in the ask about Sirius and Regulus what I thought about Snape and Lily. At this point people are probably going, “Oh that Carnivorous Muffin is just clearly a Snape stan who thinks he could never do anything wrong and anyone who was slightly mean to him is evil.” Shockingly, I’m actually not, I just happen to think sexual harassment and attempted murder are bad and probably worse than JKR intended (I do think she was trying to go the “boys will be boys” route versus “oh my god, they just dumped pigs blood on Carrie at the prom and then threw her at a starving vampire”)

So let’s start on Snape.

First, Snape did live an incredibly shitty life, with circumstances beyond his control, that did lead to many of his poorer choices. In no way am I saying that it was alright for Snape to have grown up in an impoverished, abusive, household and endured years of humiliation and torment at school. 

That said, I believe that we all, in some respects, are responsible for our actions and our decisions. Yes, even when we come from non-privileged backgrounds. Life is hard, some people will have it much easier than you, that doesn’t excuse you becoming a domestic terrorist or tormenting and terrifying your students, young children, so much so that an entire generation comes out with a loathing and incompetence in your subject.

I guess let’s start back on his friendship with Lily Evans. We get... a really weird perspective from Snape on that friendship. Time and her tragic death have warped it into this strange worship where I’m not sure the Lily Evans that exists in his mind and memory is the one that really was there. She’s this shining Madonna idol who he failed, actively betrayed, is very very hung up about it years later.

I suspect they weren’t as good of friends as either of them thought they were and it comes down to Snape’s resentment of his own upbringing and muggles. I believe Snape was very racist towards muggles, specifically, due to his father. It was his way of grappling with his home life and only fueled by being in Slytherin. Lily was probably, in his mind, always a golden exception to the rule (Lily is the token, gold standard, muggleborn where she’s pretty, brilliant, charming, etc.) That Severus himself was a halfblood clearly caused him some angst. What I’m getting at is that I believe throughout their entire friendship, especially when they got to Hogwarts, there was an unacknowledged undercurrent of intense racism that eventually boiled up with that one incident in Snape’s fifth year.

Calling her that, while he views it as a slip of the tongue that damned him for all time, I see it more as a Freudian Slip. That sort of thing doesn’t just slip out from nowhere, not at that age when they both knew exactly what that word meant, it simmers beneath the surface, and was ultimately what he thought of her. Later, she became the Madonna figure that he views her as today (ironically perhaps even less of a person than he viewed her as at the time).

That said I think a number of factors played into the young Snape becoming a Death Eater. One, becoming friends with Lucius/that crowd who were all being sucked into Tom’s influence. Two, having his terrible home life and all the implications of Snape resenting his own blood status as well as muggles and muggle borns at large. Three, the loss of friendship with Lily (now there’s nothing to hold him back anymore, he has no reason to preserve muggleborn life). Fourth, Dumbledore’s letting Sirius, James, and Remus entirely off the hook in the werewolf incident.

That last one, especially, I imagine cemented Snape’s utter hatred of ‘the light’ (don’t get me started on the stupidity of light/dark in Harry Potter but I guess I’ll use the term) and those that cater to muggleborns. They’re hypocrites of the highest order, Dumbledore claiming to defend the poor and non-nobility, when he goes and does the exact opposite (James is the next lord Potter, Sirius is still pureblooded even if disowned, Severus Snape is a dirt poor halfblood). 

So what I’m saying is I understand why Snape did become a Death Eater, I do not condone this action. Especially as, unlike Regulus, Snape never gets cold feet. He loves being a Death Eater at first, he’s living the dream, getting all the revenge he ever wanted and burning the stupid wizarding world to the ground as he scrambles for ways to climb in Tom Riddle’s graces. We don’t see any hint that he was wavering, thinking of the fact that beloved Lily might die in battle, perhaps at his hand, until the prophecy. 

Now, I’m a little kinder than some about the prophecy. We know Snape overhears the first portion of the prophecy in early 1980. He eagerly rushes to the dark lord, regales him with the prophecy in both a) aid to the cause and b) in the hopes of climbing in the ranks and gaining the dark lord’s notice. At this point, Lily Evans is pregnant, perhaps knows the gender, but has not given birth. Months later, when both Neville Longbottom and Harry Potter are born at the end of July, Snape realizes he has signed Lily Evans’ death warrant (because despite Dumbledore talking, I imagine Tom always planned to kill off both children, Pettigrew just happened to make things convenient for Tom to go to the Potters first).

With Lily’s death now so inevitable, and her blood on his own hands, Snape has his existential crisis, goes to Dumbledore who puts the Potters in hiding and becomes a double agent. Snape also pleads for Lily’s life with Tom and he puts in a minimal amount of effort to spare the woman. 

Then Lily dies anyway and now Snape lives in the bitter cynicism most commonly seen in characters from Game of Thrones. He’s Dumbledore’s agent and sort of a Dirty Harry character, getting to see all the nasty things that many of the other order members never have to deal with. He’s one of the more intelligent characters in the series, able to see the truth of the world he lives in, but he also doesn’t care enough to actually do anything about it. He’s a bitter, resentful, and angry protector of Harry Potter, choosing to hate a naive child for all the reminders of his own terrible life (both in Lily, for failing and betraying her, and in James his most hated rival and tormentor). He gleefully enables the favoritism of Slytherin (my god how he panders to Draco Malfoy) while tormenting poor Neville into terror (that Neville’s greatest 13 year old fear is Snape is very telling).

Basically by the time we get to him in canon Snape not only isn’t happy but I think he doesn’t want to be happy. He’s accustomed to his bitterness, his cynicism, his quiet rage and moves forward out of both resignation, guilt, and a sense of obligation to a woman’s ghost. The actions he takes in canon aren’t so much for Harry as they are for the memory of Lily Evans.

Even if Snape could be happy at that point, change his life or his purpose, I do not think he would. He’s a man who has given up on life.

Now, onto Lily Evans.

You probably think I’m going to rail on her to for the sheer hypocrisy and nerve of marrying James Potter. I’m actually not. Lily Evans is one of my favorite characters in the Harry Potter series and probably the one I’d label as the most moral (though that’s a very low bar in Harry Potter, the characters are almost all assholes, but even so Lily would still be very high on the list).

You know what, I’m just going to damn myself and sound like a crazy person. Lily Evans always reads to me as a more moral young female Tom Riddle.

What the hell? You undoubtedly ask but I’ll explain.

Lily, while having a far more stable homelife than Tom Riddle, also comes from a muggleborn background. She’s exceptionally brilliant, very good looking, and very charming with a lot of people who would call her friends but no one close. Lily, aside from Snape (and that’s debatable), has no friends.

If Lily had not been a Gryffindor, and were Dumbledore not a raging misogynist, his Tom Riddle bells likely would have been ringing with her.

“But wait, that can’t be right!”

Oh, yes it can. First, as I went into above with Snape and Lily, there was something deeply wrong with that friendship. I believe they both considered themselves best friends, didn’t see many of the warning flags, but ultimately we see the giant fissure when Snape lets loose the m-word. Given all of that, I would not label them having been true friends in the first place. Just the appearance of friends.

Otherwise, while it’s very easily to canonically point out James’ friends it’s incredibly difficult to do so with Lily. First, people hardly remember Lily. We get Dumbledore talking about her like she’s the Virgin Mary, saving her son with the power of her love. We get Snape’s weird Virgin Mary impressions of her. Otherwise, it’s pretty much just Slughorn. Everyone else remembers that she married James and that was great because JAMES WAS SO COOL and that she had very striking eyes and was “nice”. Lily is less than a ghost in Harry Potter canon (sadly Harry never really realizing it).

Also, unlike James who has Sirius, Remus, and Peter to point towards (that are very important characters in canon). Lily has no one. The godmother was Alice Longbottom, a woman many years older than Lily and James who probably liked Lily well enough but I can’t imagine was a close friend. In canon there’s an offhand mention of two girls named Mary and Marlene but we don’t see much of them/Severus was always cited as Lily’s closest friend. As for Lily’s sister, well we know they’re estranged. I think it’s very telling that Lily writes a letter to Sirius, James’ best friend and certainly not hers, telling him that James is pouting over his invisibilty cloak. It’s because there was no one else to write.

So Lily Evans is a brilliant girl, who everyone likes and is very charming, but has no friends and led a very lonely and short life.

Here’s where my slack towards Lily comes in.

When she dumps Snape I completely understand why she did so. Snape dropping that word wasn’t simply a mistake, a moment of infinite regret, but something that revealed what he truly thought of her and where she came from. Lily was absolutely right in walking away.

However, without Snape, her closest friend is suddenly gone and the world is cold. As graduation approaches I imagine Lily’s career options become clearer and clearer. While very talented and smart, Lily is a muggleborn, what job she does manage to get (thanks to the sheer nepotism of the wizarding world/lack of jobs) will likely be through Slughorn if she manages to get a job at all. The world is cold and it is cruel and no one seems to even notice.

Cue James Potter. I do believe, probably until seventh year, Lily loathed James, not simply because of the horrifying things he did to Severus (and I’m sure she knew very little of it, Snape hiding most of it from her out of pride and shame), but because he’s just a giant dick. He’d make flirting with her a kind of game and joke to be shared with Sirius, something to hold over Snape’s head, like she’s a prize to be one.

However, by seventh year the werewolf incident has happened, Snape’s retreated further and further into Death Eater recruit land and she’s cut him off, and for all my “James is a dick” I do imagine he calmed down a little. Now that Snape is no longer friends with Lily/after the whole almost murder incident I imagine they didn’t bully him nearly as much as they used to. Though yes, they probably still bullied him, but Lily probably doesn’t know that now that she’s lost contact with Snape. 

James is charming and very good looking. He seems a bit more mature than he used to be. Lily is desperately lonely, living in a world that rejects everything she is, and James seems like one of the few who does support her (that James is more of a ‘pretty fly for a white guy’ kind of support for muggleborns doesn’t hit until later). So Lily is charmed and makes the largest mistake of her life, she and James start dating.

Now, given their extreme youth as well as Lily’s pedigree (say what you like, I don’t think Mr. and Mrs. Potter were thrilled that their son was dating a muggleborn) I imagine the wedding was a shot gun wedding and Lily got unintentionally pregnant. Yes, go ahead and throw fruit at me or call foul, I just can’t imagine they’d want a child that young while in the middle of a war while they’re part of an active resistance movement and only just out of Hogwarts.

Then things start snowballing downhill. Lily and James have just joined the resistance movement, Lily’s son is prophesied to defeat Voldemort, they strongly suspect one of James’ close friends is a spy, and they’re forced into hiding.

In hiding is where I imagine stress runs high and their marriage begins to fall apart. We know from Lily’s letter that James was routinely leaving hiding, using the cloak, so he could meet up with Sirius and Peter (I imagine Lupin’s on the out as they suspected he was the spy). While James might not realize what a big deal that was, I imagine Lily always did, and she begins to realize just what she’s gotten herself into but there’s no way out while in hiding.

Now we go really off the rails into headcanon territory in: what the hell is up with Harry Potter?

In my stories, I often choose the unwitting god route. Harry can’t die because he is a god, he becomes the master of death and always was the master of death. This is an answer, but it’s one that makes canon Harry a god and... I would not want canon Harry as a god. JKR and Dumbledore push the “Lily loved her child so much that it deflected death... multiple times” but this always felt... unsatisfying. Many parents love their children (fathers too, JKR, let’s not make this weird Virgin Mary thing) and yet Harry Potter alone in the history of mankind survives multiple times. 

Most likely, Lily pulled off some insane bullshit with absolutely no resources and minimal education AND EVERYONE IGNORES IT. We do know that Lily crafted the blood wards, wards stronger than anything Dumbledore himself can come up with/than Voldemort can break. Ones that protect Harry not only at home but away from it as it melts Voldemort for simply touching his skin. Lily pulled off the impossible in only a few months and did it right under everyone’s nose.

This makes her easily one of the most intelligent characters in Harry Potter. Probably beating out Dumbledore and maybe tying with Tom Riddle. And Dumbledore tells us, “Your Virgin Mary mother loved you so much, Harry, that it courses through your veins and lights those that would want to harm you on fire.”

So, that’s Lily for you.

Now, that said, I’m probably a bit biased and clearly very lenient with her marrying James. To be honest it took me years to figure out why the hell Lily would ever marry James after what happened with Severus and was always one of those weird canon things I never quite understood. He’s that good looking and charming, I guess, was my response.

The answer I now land on with some confidence was that the world is that cruel and bleak and Lily was utterly alone for two years.

By the way, a side note/plug, of all my stories while head canons do pop up here and there I think “October” is one where they tend to crop up more. It’s a vast AU of canon, but it gives an idea of what I think x character would do in y situation. 

[ashes-and-ashes]

"fuck you" , "fuck me yourself, you coward" with wolfstar please?

Slytherin!Sirius au.

~

He finds Sirius in the hallway, all jet black hair and haughty eyes and that emerald tie slung casually around his neck like some goddamn medal of honour. The curtains were thrown back from the windows, the silvery light from the almost-full moon illuminating everything in narrow slats, streaks of stardust on the blocks of stone.

Remus curses - his ribs still ache from the Changing, pain stabbing through him every time he took a breath. He’s pretty sure the bandages on his back had slipped down as well, the cuts on his skin stinging with every step he took.

“Fuck,” he breathes, softly. The only other way to Gryffindor Tower was using the main staircase - a solid 10 flights of stairs in a dizzying spiral. He imagines it in his head - dragging himself up nearly a hundred flights of stairs, the throbbing in his ribs intensifying with every step, his shoulders aching and back screaming -

Remus grits his teeth, tries not to think about it. With a grimace he turns around, preparing himself for the long hike back up and praying Sirius didn’t see him.

Then again, when were his prayers ever answered? He barely made it five steps before he heard the rustle of fabric and Remus knew Sirius saw him.

Sirius Black, the Slytherin Heir to the Black fortune. He was about as big of a prick as his title would suggest - all cocky arrogance and careless swagger, the type of person who let secrets drop like rain. He remembers first year, eleven years old, walking into the Great Hall and hearing Sirius’ cold voice, the sniggers of his fellow classmates. He’s obviously Muggle born. No pureblood wizard would look that deformed.

Six years. Six years of taunting, of getting shoved into walls and laughed at. Mudblood.

He’s heard stories, of course, all the ones about how he’d mastered the curriculum at eleven and was the youngest and best member on the Slytherin Quidditch team, the long list of conquests he’s had over the six years at Hogwarts.

He’s heard the other stories, too; the ones about the scars on his back and the nights he spent missing from Slytherin dorms.

Remus grits his teeth, hoping Sirius wouldn’t say anything. He stares at the end of the hallway with a sigh - it seemed to stretch out forever, an impossible trek considering the boy in front of him.

He’s not even looking at Sirius but he can still hear the smirk on his voice, that insufferable smirk that made him want to punch him in that perfect face -

“What are you doing so late?”

Remus stiffens, tries to keep the exhaustion off his face. “I could ask you the same question.” He winces - his voice is hoarse from a night of screaming, the metallic tang of blood coating his tongue. Gingerly, he probes at the mess of chewed flesh on his cheek; he must have bitten through when he was Shifting.

Sirius laughs. Even that sounded practiced, Remus thinks - too easy, too smooth.

“I asked first,” Sirius says casually. He’s sitting on the floor against the wall, one leg stretched out in front of him. The moonlight sharpened his features - all high cheekbones and dark hair and the edge of his jaw, the pale skin of his neck disappearing into his robes. Remus’s eyes follow the smooth skin, catching on the edge of a silvery scar curling behind his ear.

Sirius’ smile sharpens. “Seeing something you like, Lupin?”

Remus shoots him a flat look - the same one he gave anyone who asked about his scars. “Are you asking out of genuine interest?”

Sirius doesn’t respond. He stretches out on the floor, arms braced on the wall behind him. Remus sways slightly on his feet; one of the bandages has definitely come loose, the torn edges of his broken skin screaming in protest.

“I should go,” he says. “I need to get to the tower.”

Sirius’ eyebrows fly up, his silver eyes glinting in the moonlight. “You still haven’t told me why you’re up this late.”

Remus doesn’t bother to mask his expression into anything but the annoyance he felt, turning an irratated glare on Sirius’ smirking face. “Well, you haven’t told me shit either. Call it a night and let me sleep, okay?”

“Ah,” Sirius says. He grins, the shadows and the light combining to give an eerie look of a Cheshire Cat. “See, I’m self-destructive - everyone knows that. So it really shouldn’t matter why I’m out so late. You on the other hand - I guess it’s more interesting why Saint Lupin is breaking curfew than why poor old me is.”

“I’m not a saint,” Remus says. Sirius’ grin widens.

“You’re certainly not a devil.”

“Like you?” Remus says, mockingly.

“Now you get it.”

“Please.” Remus rolls his eyes. He’d never been able to have a conversation with Sirius for longer than 5 minutes without getting some sort of blinding headache. “Spare your melodramatic bullshit.”

“Melodramatic - “ Sirius cuts himself off, the humor disappearing from his face so fast Remus glances over his shoulder. “What - “

“You’re hurt,” Sirius says. It wasn’t a question.

“I’m not - “ Remus starts but Siruus ignores him. He pushes himself up off the ground - his hand is on Remus’ shoulder, thumb digging into the tear there and Remus just barely manages to swallow down his scream.

“Fuck,” he hisses - Sirius face is curiously blank. “What the fuck was that for - “

Sirius’ hand is at his robes in an instant and Remus wasn’t fast enough to stop him from yanking the soft fabric off his shoulders, the cool night air washing over his skin. He’s wearing his shirt underneath (Thank God, he thinks) but he can tell from the dampness on his spine that a lot of blood must have leaked through.

Sirius’ hand brushes over the deepest of the gashes on his front and this time Remus can’t stop the choked noise he makes. Sirius’ face is still empty; Remus stares at the purpling bruises on his arms and tries to get his pounding heart under control.

He bends to retrieve his fallen cloak and regrets it - the movement makes the wounds on his back tear even more and he muffles his groan with his hand. Sirius is there in a heartbeat, his knuckles white where he gripped the fabric, hard enough that Remus thought it might tear, one hand still pressed against the cut on Remus’ stomach.

“Who did this?” Sirius asks, his tone deadly calm. Remus notices the slight tremble in his hands and forces himself to step backwards away from Sirius’ warm touch.

“None of your business,” he replies shortly.

Sirius lets out a startled laugh, cracking at the edges. “None of my - “ he begins, then cuts himself off. “You’ve got to be kidding.”

“I’m not, actually.”

Sirius traces the lines of blood spreading across Remus’ back, his eyes hollow and so far away. “Tell me,” he says, his voice soft.

Remus swallows. Irrational anger surges through him, at Sirius, acting like a goddamn saint as if he wasn’t a fucking asshole -

“What do you care?” he says, voice cutting.

Sirius blinks, and Remus can practically see the walls snapping down in his eyes. “Do I need to have a reason?”

Remus grits his teeth. “Who hurt you, Sirius?”

Sirius flinches back as if Remus had physically struck him, a mixture of shock and terror and anger warring over his face. The emotion is gone in an instant; Sirius’ face goes dead, as if he had shoved his feelings deep inside of him, something slicing and cutting up his insides.

“How did you know?” he asks.

Remus forces a bitter laugh. “I’ve seen scars. Yours are intentional. Someone’s out too much effort into making them hurt.”

“No one - “

Remus scoffs. “Straight lines and smooth edges? Perfectly round burn scars?”

“When have you seen - “

“We’ve both been here six years, Sirius. Guess we’re both deformed after all.”

Sirius blinks. “Fuck you.”

“Fuck me yourself, coward,” Remus spits.

Sirius just smirks. “Maybe I will.”

“I’m sure your mother will be proud of you.”

Sirius flinches back, and somewhere Remus winces at how easy it was to hurt him. He can’t bring himself to care - he’s tired and in pain and full of burning, irrational rage.

“Let me go,” he says, snatching his ribs from Sirius’ shaking hands, turning and limping down the corridor.

It’s only when he’s in bed later that night does he realize that he’s never met another person as scarred as he was.

[homoclothes]

questions about patty for the oc eomji task. some of them are spoilers probably but, please answer if you can owo fAMILY, HOT BEVERAGE (ofc), BOUQUET, MOON,MILKY WAY, SWIMMING (lol), LIGHTBULB, CROWN, PISTOL, PAPERCLIP, PACKAGE,TRAIN,RAINBOW,CLOUD, ty

hell yeah oc time 💗 and so many 😳

👪-what is their family like? what is their relationship to them? do they have any siblings?

Patty was raised by her aunt and uncle (they are siblings) but when she was maybe 10 years old, the two had a falling out. patty's aunt moved far away, and without any siblings, she and her uncle lived by themselves... the rest of their family lives close together a fair distance away, and they'd visit them often enough, but they do live largely on their own. patty has a good relationship with her uncle, probably the closest relationship each other has :] and as mentioned she doesn't have any siblings. i'll say as well that patty doesn't know what the deal is with her birth parents, her fam never told her, and she doesn't much care either.

☕️- do they prefer hot or cold drinks? what is their favorite drink?

patty likes her coffee ICED don't even preTEND...... she actually drinks (almost) exclusively iced beverages, excepting only for when there's no ice available (which she may or may not make a big deal about..) .she likes iced lattes, iced tea, fruity booze, lemonades, anything sweet and pretty lmfao. while she obviously chooses to drink what she Likes, her drink choice is def influenced by what would be cute or fashionable. but again, hot drinks are the big thing she won't go for, her mouth is too sensitive !!she isn't about to burn her fucking tongue!!!

💐- create a bouquet for them! what do these flowers mean, are any of them their favorite?

blue hydrangea in the center (mostly bc i like it but also 👁👁.) with yellow fritillary surrounding it (majesty, pride and power) and bunches of grape hyacinth (power and confidence), and laurel leaves for foliage (ambition success and renown). blue and yellow theme as is common w her LOL

🌙- What is your oc's greatest wish? how far are they willing to go for it?

patty wants to be a famous wizard!!! she's very attached to this idea... though she finds simple and sustainable pleasure in certain things like archaeology and history she has decided she first and foremost wants to be a popular and powerful magician. she would go to greater lengths than she would guess (and probably like!). yes this is a very broad goal but that is what she has chosen so sorry

🌌- what was the inspiration behind your oc? what was the first thing you decided about them?

so i started with a drawing for a totally different character actually, who i wanted to nail a pretty different vibe with. it just kinda went from there honestly, from "80's fantasy movie hot elf temptress" to "90's HS movie mean girl villain" to whatever patty is now. wizard #g!rl...?? the first thing i decided about the design was she is mean and a wizard... which has been the most enduring aspect of her tbh 😳 though she's different for sure..

🏊🏾‍♀️-can they swim? etc

YES she can swim silly FJHSJFJS first thing she says is like "do you want to go to an underwtaer ruin with me".. she did grow up on an island technically, not that it was the best place for swimming :/ but she probably learned to swim pretty young and is confident in it even in the ocean!!

💡- is your oc a planner? do they write down every small detail or just wing it?

it's kind of a mix for her... i think patty makes detailed notes but then fails to use them at all and just wings everything lol. she usually can simply recall the majority of details, and rarely needs her notes, but occasionally you Will see her check her notebook for something (which is very glittery and neat looking)

👑- what does your oc want to be remembered as?

one of the greats!!! she wants to be widely remembered as brilliant and talented and cool, a role model, a pioneer even.

🔫- does your oc trust easily? how easily will they turn their back to someone? have they been backstabbed before? will they betray someone given an ultimatum?

um spoilers??? jk theres tons to talk about actually... as you know, she trusts the party members easily enough from the beginning, but it's been rather... back and forth, let's say, and pretty skin-deep if i might add (cough). she quickly and easily turned her back on the party, and just as calmly was ready to pick them back up again when they came looking for her! what a mess..... it may seem like just plot convenience but. in truth she kind of takes people for granted in this way :( expecting people to just pick up with her from where she left off with them.

📎- a random fact

patty Hates chocolate... do not approach her with it she will knock it to the floor like a cat

📦- what are some "most likely to..." s that can apply to them?

stuff like Most Likely to Succeed and Go Down in History and stuff are quite easily applied to her (or at least she would say so) but she would also attest to holding such titles as Most Likely to Become Rich, Most Likely to Appear On a Magazine Cover, Most Likely to Get Away with Murder, and Most Likely to Be Valedictorian!

🚆- their answer to the trolley problem?

the answer is to just blow up the trolley!! then everyone lives!!! win-win baby

🌈- what advice would they give to their younger self?

well if you ask me She needs some advice from her Older self... but she would say something like "just go for it!!! quit waiting around and go live your momentn!!!!!!" and it would not help younger patricia at All pfjdjfjJFHSJSJFJJSJDJFK

☁️-a soft headcanon

hmm..... assuming it's soft as in ~soft~ (as opposed to a trait i'm not completely sure i'll give her) i'll say she always wished she had a sibling to go on adventures with :)... even though andreas is like. right there girl

thanks for the ask 😌✨✨✨