#they r either my dumb little son

[xxalphaclownxx]

AleNoahvember Day 3! Alt Subcultures! tbh i just wanted an excuse to give alejandro eye liner and dress noah up all fancy tee hee

[sugume]

REACTING TO YOUR CHILD THROWING A TANTRUM — JUJUTSU KAISEN

( CW ) f!reader, modern!AU, bratty kids

FEATURING: Nanami Kento, Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, Choso Kamo 

☾ GOJO SATORU  

“C'mon guys, it’s time to go,” Satoru yells for his twins who are running around the park. “Ten more minutes Daddy.” His boy yells back before sliding down the slide. “Daddy already gave you guys ten more minutes—thirty minutes ago. It’s time to go home now.” Satoru firmly tells his kids as he walks towards them. “I don’t wanna go!” His boy screams back. “Me either!” The little girls say. “You guys, the sun is setting and we gotta get home to your mom and baby brother. Let’s go.” He sighs, it’s not like he’s being unreasonable, they’ve been at the park all day long. “No no no!” they yell before taking off. “Hey, get back here now!” He yells before he starts to chase them up the small stairs, he trips immediately, failing to take into account that these are kid stairs. “Oh, fuck me!” He cries holding onto his shin. “Ouu, we’re telling mommy you said bad words!” Satoru looks up at his twins from his place on the dirty stairs before getting out “Ten more minutes.” He grits out and they cheer, thinking they won, but truthfully, he doesn’t think he can stand back up. 

☾ GETO SUGURU 

Suguru pulls out of the school parking lot after picking his daughter up from school. “How was your day, baby?” he asks, looking in the mirror to see his daughter glaring at him with her arms folded. “Baby?” He questions. He swore she didn’t have this attitude when he buckled her in her booster seat. “Leave me alone ugly.” She spits out from her booster seat. “Woah,” he chuckles. “Where is that attitude coming from?” He inquires but his daughter just rolls her eyes in return. “Baby? What’s wrong—” he’s cut off by a kick to his seat. “D/n!” He exclaims. “You rat!” She yells and kicks the seat again. “Baby, what has gotten into you today?” Suguru asks. “You said you’d bring me a smoothie!” She cries out. Shit, Suguru thinks he does remember promising her a smoothie this morning. “That’s because I wanted to bring you to the smoothie shop to make your own baby!” He lies, turning back to smile and caress her knee. “R-really?” “Really.” She huffs and looks out the window. “Okay, but you’re still ugly.”  

☾ CHOSO KAMO 

Choso places small kisses on your shoulder as he lies behind you in your dark room. You feel small butterflies in your stomach, but they abruptly stop when your bedroom door is swung open. Choso turns around to the sight of your son grinning. “Why aren't you asleep?” Choso asks, letting go of your hips. “I wanna sleep with you guys tonight!” he exclaims as he walks up to the bed, dragging his stuffed dinosaur on the floor behind him. “Not tonight,” Choso tells him as he starts to get out of bed. “Yes, tonight!” He exclaims and starts to climb the bed but before he can get up Choso grabs him and slings his small body over his shoulder. “No baby, tonight you’re gonna be a big boy and sleep in your bed, say goodnight to mommy.” “No! I wanna sleep in your room!” He screams the entire way back to his bedroom, hitting Choso with his dinosaur. “I want to sleep with mommy!” “Are there monsters under your bed again? I can scare them away.” “No, you’re the monster, the big dumb monster!"

☾ NANAMI KENTO 

“I want this, Daddy!” Kento’s daughter yells as she pulls him towards the snack shelf. “Not today sweetheart, remember we came here to get some ingredients?” He says trying to walk out of the aisle. “No Daddy, I want cookies!” She whines pulling Kento’s belt loop. He grunts, cheeks turning a dusty pink when she almost successfully pulls his pants down. “Baby you’re gonna pull my pants off,” He tries to wench your knuckle tight grip. “We have cookies at home sweetheart.” He explains but all she hears is her father yelling her no. “I want a cookie now!” She stomps grabbing the attention of other shoppers. “D/n, what did Daddy say? We have those exact cookies at home and if you're good and stop crying you can have some when we get home.” He reasons as his daughter starts to tear up. “I want five cookies then!” she demanded with a loud sniff that caused Kento to smile because her stubbornness reminded him of you. 

[sugoi-and-spice]

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Chapter Twenty - Interlude I. Love

Summary: Tomura Shigaraki was her dad's boss's son. He was the creep that stole girls' underwear and tried to grope her in his room. But it's not like he could get her Dad fired just because she wouldn't sleep with him, right? ...right?

CW: Quirkless!AU, Explicit Smut, Dub-Con, Coercion, Blackmail, Cheating, Sexual Guilt, Humiliation, Unhealthy Relationships, Virginity Kink, Groping, Power Play, Hate to Love, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Animal Death, Slow Burn, Misogyny

Read Full Chapter on AO3

[excerpt]

She was at a breaking point. No seriously. She didn’t know how much more of this she could handle.

“The relationship between polar coordinates and the standard rectangular coordinates x comma y is represented in the four equations x equals r cosine-theta, y equals r sine-theta, r-squared equals…” she mumbled through her notes.

She was pretty sure that she wasn’t even processing the words she was saying anymore, she’d been studying so long. But honestly, what other choice did she have right now?

With swim practice canceled this week for finals, her friends preoccupied with their own study frenzies, and Shigaraki in Kyushu for the week, she had no distractions, no excuses to fill her freetime with anything other than studying. And with not only finals this week, but entrance exams following close around the corner, she was determined to take full advantage of that time.

…Maybe too full of advantage. She dropped her head on the desk, mind completely swarmed with static. She was pretty sure that if she tried to stuff one more vocabulary word or equation into that brain of hers that it’d actually explode. She could practically smell the smoke coming from her own ears. 

She peered up as her phone buzzed up a storm next to her. At last, a respite from her own brain. It was probably just spam, but even making dumb smalltalk with the robot asking her about her car’s extended warranty sounded like a great break at the moment.

But then she saw who was actually on the caller ID, and was instantly filled with confusion and a light garnish of dread.

Mirio Togata.

Why was he calling her? Wasn’t he supposed to be at work right now? 

Against the nagging feeling in her gut, she answered the phone.

“Hey, babe!” he chirped on the other end, supposedly full of his normal enthusiasm, there was something kind of off about his voice, although she couldn’t quite put her finger on what.

“Hey…” she said cautiously, “What’s up?”

“Not much! The weather’s awesome today, isn’t it?! Makes me wish I didn’t have to work! How about you?”

“Um… I guess, maybe?” she answered, pushing open her blinds slightly to reveal a definitively gray sky, “I haven’t really been outside either…”

“Studying hard, or hardly studying?” he joked.

“Uh, well I…” she sighed, a little annoyed and wanting to just get to the point, “Is something wrong? You don’t usually call when you’re at work.”

There was a pause on the other end, Mirio caught off guard by being confronted directly. He’d obviously hoped to have some weird segue into whatever he was calling about.

“Mirio—?”

“Haha, yeah, I guess you caught me there, huh?” he laughed, clearly forced,  “I guess I just—! Well, um…”

Her brows furrowed, Mirio was at a loss for words. That was really not like him. Now she was getting worried.

“...Yeah?”

“Well, there’s something I want to ask you and I really don’t think it can wait any longer.”

“Okay…”

“So um, yeah here it goes!” he laughed nervously, “Were you with Shigaraki last week?”

Wait, that was it? 

The way Mirio had been ramping up and beating around the bush so much, she’d assumed that this was going to be about something way bigger, maybe something involving the swim dinner or before. About an incident with Shigaraki that he didn’t know about. But asking about last week? What was the problem exactly? 

“Yeah,” she answered, audibly confused, “I told you that we were gonna study and game at his place.”

“You said it was you two and another friend.”

“It was,” she insisted.

“Okay, so why did I hear from Shindo that you two were having dinner alone together?”

She blinked. 

“Huh?”

Not too long ago that would have sparked an immediate “oh crap” reaction from her, a panic that she was caught up shit creek without a paddle. But today? When she had nothing to hide? She was just confused. 

“Well, we were hungry so we went out for a bite…”

“Just the two of you though?”

“Yeah, Spinner had work and—” she cut herself off before she got too worked up with excuses, not sure why she needed to explain this, “What’s the problem here? You were the one who encouraged me to keep hanging out with Shigaraki.”

“Sure, but I thought you guys were just like, hanging out at his house or the library or something...”

She scoffed, rising to pace her room as irritation coursed heavier through her tendons, “What’s the difference? If you trust me alone at his house, why don’t you trust me when I’m getting dinner with him?”

“Babe, I trust you no matter where you are. Just…” he sighed, trying to figure out how to word this, “I mean you gotta think about the implications. You two having dinner alone together looks like a date.”

“But it wasn’t a date.”

“ I know that,” he assured her, “But that’s not what our classmates are gonna think.”

She stopped in her tracks.

Oh.

Ohhh. 

So that’s why he was upset. She should’ve fucking known.

“Is that really all you care about?” she demanded, “Not whether or not I’m on a date with another guy, but whether or not it looks like I’m on a date?”

“Come on babe, you know that’s not what I meant—”

“Do I?!” she snapped, “Who cares what our classmates think? We know the truth, so what’s the problem?!”

Mirio sighed, “Babe, I didn’t call to pick a fight. I’m just asking you to have a little more self-awareness, alright?”

She laughed in disbelief, “You know, that’s real rich coming from you, Peaches.”

Finally, Mirio too let his frustration get the better of him, “Oh my God— when did you become so mean ?!”

“I don’t know, probably around the same time you became such a judgemental asshole !” she shouted, before slamming her thumb into the end call icon and throwing the stupid thing onto her bed.

She stood there, chest heaving in rage, trying to calm herself down. It took her a couple of minutes to realize that her Dad was standing outside her open door, wide-eyed and fist raised mid-knock.

Continue on AO3

[theofficialpresidentofmars]

going insane about Hamlet: Act 2 edition. let’s get straight into it

- firstly, Polonius makes me feel many things. Mostly rage. Frustration. Vague annoyance. The need to stab something through a curtain. I don’t know what he’s trying to accomplish by paying someone to slander his son (a lie, I know his reasoning and I think it’s dumb) but he’s just a strange old man and I don’t like him. Polonius enjoyers (if you exist) please make your case because I don’t know if there is anything I’m supposed to be seeing in this guy. only redeeming quality was having generally okay kids and being killed off in Act 3

- the scene where Hamlet startles Ophelia in her chambers is so endlessly funny to me. you have to really visualise the scene to get it, the imagery is silly. imagine you’re having a normal day and your bf walks in with his pants down except this is like pre 1600s Catholic Europe so you freak out and then he just acts really weird and walks out weirder. poor Ophelia your boyfriend’s only going to get worse and more unrecognisable from here but we’re staying silly until then

- I’ve never been able to read any of the scenes with Rosencrantz and Guildenstern quite the same after the banger play that is Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead. I thank Tom Stoppard for taking what was originally two characters I didn’t know where my feelings lay towards and making them the silliest little guys under the sun. I sort of change my feelings on how ‘canon’ I consider the interpretation each time I read the book, but I like having the option

- Hamlet’s letter to Ophelia also makes me feel many things. ‘Doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt I love (I never loved you)’. I’m on the bandwagon that Hamlet did truly love Ophelia at least prior to the events of the play (and then I switch up depending on the readings again), but I find again that it adds to the tragic element to spend time considering the lives they led before the King’s death. I’ll probably delve mostly into the relationship of these two in my Act 3 ramblings (starring such wonderful quotes as ‘Get thee to a nunnery’ and ‘That’s a fair thought, to lie between maid’s legs’) but goodness. ‘Thine evermore most dear Lady, whilst this machine is to him, Hamlet.’

- Hamlet’s habit of using wordplay to mock and annoy the people he doesn’t respect will always be funny to me, but it’s increased prominence whenever in the presence of Polonius is excessively so. This man is taking every single opportunity to twist this old man’s words into some odd pun or another and it’s so very silly. ‘Excellent, you are a fishmonger.’ ‘Have you a daughter? Let her not walk i’ th’ sun’ also blatantly making comments about your girlfriend in front of her conservative dad is insane but. I guess that’s the angle

- ‘What do you read my Lord?’ ‘Words, words, words’ oh he hates this man

- ‘You cannot sir take from my anything that I will more willingly part withal (except my life)’ has lived in my head rent free since reading. icon

- I’ve annotated my irl copy of Hamlet with pink markers every time he makes a misogynistic comment, and within roughly 30 seconds of meeting his childhood friends, he’s found an excuse to pull another one out of the bag. I suppose it is interesting how his misogyny does seem to be a very direct result of his glaring mother issues however, specifically his mother’s sexual promiscuity (of a kind) distressing him so much that it’s tainted his entire view of women as a whole.

- and then he drops two of the hardest lines back-to-back, ‘There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so’, and ‘O God, I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself a King of infinite space; were it not that I have bad dreams’. like okay slayy

- immediately calling R&G out on their bs. It’s not paranoia if they’re out to get you, or something

- ‘My Lord, I have news to tell you-‘ ‘mY lOrD, I hAvE nEwS tO tElL yOu. when Roscius was an actor in Rome-‘ oh he HATES this man

- we as a society don’t talk enough about Hamlet being a theatre kid methinks

- ooh I love the ‘rogue and peasant slave am I’ soliloquy. at this point, it’s been four months since the King was murdered, and two months since his ghost has asked Hamlet to take revenge. and still nothing has happened. Hamlet’s pretended to go mad, but hasn’t been able to make up his mind on what to actually do just yet, and he’s starting to hate himself for it. I also love getting to see the thought process behind his actions, and honestly things are still making sense from his perspective at this point. Yes it’s been a while, but he also has no definitive proof that the murder actually happened. For all he knows, the ghost was a devilish apparition trying to trick him into committing an unforgivable sin. And we’re still at the point where we can justify this, even if we might consider it a little indecisive of him a whole two months after. It’s just a silly little spiel that leads well into the next act, and I just like to read it out loud

Not as much on this act, but I’m saving all the juice for Act 3, my personal favourite >:) see you soon

[incorrect-nevermore]

Alright what are everyone’s dumb modern au head cannons, I’ll go first-

•The misfits go everywhere in either, one of Lenore’s father’s really fancy expensive cars, that Lenore keeps stealing, (she would take Theo’s but he loves that thing to death and won’t let anyone else drive it, and he always knows if Lenore’s taken it out cause the mirrors been adjusted or something) Or duke’s Toyota, he takes good care of it, but the things old and pretty beat up but that does not prevent them from drag-racing it across empty roads and doing donuts in parking lots.

• Do not let Eulalie drive, just don’t, only duke and Lenore actually know how to drive and are usually the ones to do so, but every now and again someone else drives, either cause their both too tired or too drunk to, but whoever ends up behind the wheel it should not be Eulalie, that woman drives like she’s running from the cops.

•‘Cause Theo’s alive and well and hysteria isn’t a thing anymore, Lenore’s family is still in the picture. The first of one of the misfits to have an encounter with Lenore’s family is Berenice, when she’s sneaking out of Lenore’s bedroom after a movie night. Lenore’s mother opens the door to see this random girl that looks like she belongs in a 1920’s skit, one foot out of her daughter’s bedroom window at 2am and just goes “😐”.

Lenore: Mother, I can explain-

Her mom: I thought you were interested in that Annabel lee?

Lenore: ITS NOT LIKE THAT-!

Meanwhile Berenice manages to awkwardly, sneak out the window between their arguing.

Berenice: Babe, I mean this in the nicest way possible, but when I saw your ma’ standing in the hallway I mistook her for a Victorian ghost.

• Lenore and Annabel meet in way similar to Cannon, Annabel’s father wanted to be close with Lenore’s father, though not to marry her off, to have help setting up business in New York, and sent Annabel off to go make nice with his son, and if things went well, he’d have a new esteemed business partner and possibly candidate for a son in law, lo and behold one day when Theo and Annabel are having tea in garden or something, Lenore walks in and Annabel goes “😳 Well, I don’t see any down sides to making nice with both siblings.” And things go from there.

• Theo bullies Lenore about Annabel but is also her ultimate wingman

• The misfits constantly bother Lenore about her ✨richness✨ and technically being an heiress.

“Sorry, guys can’t tonight, my father’s making me attend this dumb party-“

“Ooooh! Forgive us lowly commoners for dwelling into your affairs, your grace! But for what reason has the lord arranged this extravagant event?”

“Duke, come on, man.”

•Lenore and Annabel’s fathers are both pretty homophobic, like angrily, staring and scoffing at gay couples in public kinda homophobic, Lenore’s mom is also kinda homophobic but like in the way of

“It’s just a phase, why! Even I used to share kisses with my lady friends back in the day.”

Lenore: You what.

• Both the groups still have a rivalry thing going on at the academy, but it’s much more chill here, cause there’s nothing like a second life to be competing with each other over. Lenore and Annabel still pretend to kinda of dislike each other for… reasons, but again much less intense than in Cannon.

•M*****r does unfortunately still go to the academy but he doesn’t show up the majority of the time, and he ain’t a part of Annabel’s group, he’s just as ass that shows up at parties sometimes. Will is still a part of the group, and he doesn’t really hang out with goat boy, the most he does is say hi to him sometimes.

•Ada has much more self confidence and sometimes goes to hang with Lenore’s gang with Morella, because she deserves it. She still is quite insecure unfortunately cause she’s like lower middle class in this school full of rich kids, but she’ll be fine.

•Ada also came in to the academy a little bit homophobic cause ✨self hate💕, she quickly unlearns that tho.

•Lenore. Has. Options. Like a quarter of the girls at the academy have tried to shoot their shot, with unsurprisingly little luck, only thing they’ve gotten out of it is a death stare from Annabel.

•Eulalie has dragged everyone out at midnight to try and summon/communicate with a spirit on more then one occasion.

• They all get together and play cards against humanity, and every drinking game know to mankind

“ Whoever has the worst taste in men has to take a shot”

Lenore: Ada.

Berenice: Ada!

Duke: It’s Ada.

Ada, pouring a shot: Yeah, I used to be into Prospero, I really can’t defend myself on this one.

Prospero: Excuse me!

“Anyone who’s kissed the same sex takes a sip of their drink”

Berenice: Pfff- uhh?

Duke: Should we all just take a sip on this one?

Annabel: I HAVN’T- ahem. I have not kissed another woman.

Lenore: ..Really?

Annabel: Really, pet.

…

Prospero: I haven’t kissed a man either-

Berenice: Right. Now, you guys are just fuckin’ lyin’.

•Lenore takes Italian, she and Prospero will sometimes stop in the middle of the hallway just to insult each other in Italian then keep walking.

•Theo gose in to Lenore’s room sometimes, sees Annabel’s things just lying around and it just hits him that oh my lord my little sister has a girlfriend- and he needs to lay down before his legs give out, even tho he’s literally been trying to get them together.

Theo: Wake up!

Lenore: I’m coming, go away!

Theo: Not until you get out here!

Lenore, coming out: Happy?

Theo: very much so, come on we need to-

Annabel, also coming out of Lenore’s room: Good morning..?

Theo: *goes into an existential crisis*

Annabel: Um, hello?

Lenore: Oh, great we broke him.

[jonesatheart]

Mistaken Identity

It had been something of a routine exercise for the boys. Every few months Master Splinter would have them draw one of their brothers names from a bowl and they would trade masks and weapons for the day or longer depending on how badly they'd been fighting with one another. Of course, it was occasionally rigged, but it always had been for the benefit of his sons, his beloved boys.

Such had not been the case of late. In fact the boys had been getting on remarkably well considering it had been the middle of winter and usually at this time of year they were beginning to get a little stir crazy as it was harder to go to the surface level with the snow. Being underground was also cold of course, but his brilliant Donatello had long been able to make each of them their own heat lamps and Ms. O'Neal in her kindness had gifted them each a heated blanket. She had even given one to Master Splinter. If she had noticed how it helped with his arthritis she was also kind enough not to mention it.

All in all, the boys had been doing well in their training and with one another, which was why Master Splinter had decided now was a good time to try the exercise again.

So that the boys could learn to see from their brothers' perspective not just in times of adversity, but also in times of peace and joy.

And so, rather than just engaging in sparing with each other's weapons Master Splinter had also encouraged them to try out each other's hobbies, music, and other recreational activities.

This had led Michaelangelo to the junk yard to scavenge for metal wiring and such to try out some of Raph's wire wrapping and other metal working skills. Which ultimately led this moment Master Splinter now found himself in. Knelt by his youngest child's bedside in the medbay.

It was more the cold than the concussion, Donatello assured him, that was the cause of Michaelangelo's persisting state of unconsciousness. That did not make the guilt easier to bear.

Master Splinted sighed softly and gently stroked one of the brown, splotchy bruises on Michaelangelo's head.

"Hey, Sensei," Michaelangelo murmured and nuzzled deeper into his pillow. "'S kinda cold. Raphy break the heater 'r somethin'?"

"No, my son," Master Splinter smiled to finally hear his son's voice.

"Sensei!" Michaelangelo shot up suddenly. He groaned at the wave of dizziness and nearly fell over, but Master Splinter was faster. He jumped forward and gently guided Michaelangelo back to his pillow.

"Easy, my son. You have a mild concussion."

"Sure I'm not dying? You're not usually the one babysitting."

Master Splinter smiled and rubbed Michaelangelo's shell. "No, little one, you are not dying, though you did give it a shot. I sent your brothers to rest and warm up."

"Oh. How'd I get a concussion?"

"You were ambushed by members of the Purple Dragon gang at the junk yard. They mistook you for your brother because you wore his mask and carried his sai."

"Ohh. Yup. That'd do it," Michaelangelo said, almost sagely. Master Splinter had to hold back a snicker.

"I am sorry, Michaelangelo-"

"What for?" He yawned. "You're not the one who jumped me."

"Had I not sent you to the junk yard dressed as your brother, perhaps this would not have happened."

"I dunno, Sensei, the Purple Dragon are kinda dumb. And mean. They'd probably mug a kindergartener for their lunch money. It's not your fault. I know how you and Leo can be though, so I forgive you."

Master Splinter smiled and kissed Michaelangelo on the temple. "Thank you, little one. Try to rest now. I will fetch one of the space heaters so you will be more comfortable."

"You're the best," Michaelangelo mumbled as he drifted off again.

---

"How ya feelin' twerp?" Raphael asked and rubbed Mikey's head as crouched next to his bed.

"That depends entirely on why you're here," Mikey teased back. "Master Splinter already apologized. It's not your fault either."

"Yeah, I know. They'd'a been happy to jump any of us. No matter what color we was wearin'. Case isn't so convinced though."

"Hey, Mikey," Casey greeted.

"Hm-mm. Nope, shut up," Mikey cut it.

Raph snickered. "Told ya so."

"Mike-"

"I don't wanna hear it. I'm too zonked out for the emotional-guilt-trippy stuff when it's literally not actually anyone's fault."

"You guys wouldn't be a target for the Dragons if it weren't for me!" Casey objected.

"Bruh. Have you not noticed that Hun has a massive Foot tattoo? Don't think you're so special, hermano, he definitely would'a been on our tails for that anyway. Not to mention it was the armored car that they stole that we stole back and made into the Battleshell. It's not your fault. That said, if you reeeaallly feel that bad about it, you can definitely bring me a snickers about it!"

Casey chuckled. "Maybe I ain't that special, but I actually can be smart sometimes." He held up a candy bar, drawing an excited gasp from Mikey.

"No way! Don't tell the others, but you are definitely my favorite brother right now."

"Hey, I'm still here, remember?" Raph teased and lightly kicked the cot Mikey was lying on.

"Oh, hey, Raph, when'd you get here?" Mikey answered cheerily.

"Brat."

Mikey giggled. "For real though, you guys gotta lighten up."

"We'll lighten up when you stop gettin' into trouble," Raph replied and rubbed Mikey's head.

"Get some rest, bud."

[em-writes-stuff-sometimes]

Okay, this is a little dumb, but with old Valyrian using mother and mothers sister as the same, I'd like to point out that languages tell you a lot about culture.

For example, in English, we only have one word for "sibling of your parent"-aunt or uncle. We also have only one word for sibling, etc. but in other languages, ones that are more hierarchical, there are more words than that to denote relationship. For example, Japanese has different words for "older sibling" and "younger sibling" because that is important in the culture-they're more aware of it. Mandarin has different words for familial relationships depending on family side, and heirarchical status. For example, an uncle on your mothers side is a different words from an uncle on your fathers side. That stems from the culture, but it affects it, too-it forces you to be more cognizant of your relationship to the family member whenever talking about them.

There was a really interesting study done about this-and one of the things noticed came from aboriginal Australian, where they talk about directions positionally-for example, something isn't "to your right" it's "to the southwest". So in the study, when speaking, they always knew which cardinal direction they were facing and/or talking about-because the language taught them how and required them to. Meanwhile English speakers either didn't know or took time to figure it out.

Anyway-it just makes me think. What does that say about Valyrian culture? Is father's brother the same word because fundamentally, you have the same relationship-protected, guided, etc? Is it the same because in Valyrian culture, familial bonds are less important? What does Valyrian language focus its sights on-dragons? War? Power? Or is it the same because George R R Martin didn't want to have to make too many words?

This is awesome; I barely know anything about languages or linguistics, so thanks for the amazing food for thought! The creator of the show’s languages, David J. Peterson, describes Valyrian familial culture as being Iroquois in type of kinship system - there are six kinship systems in total.

Here’s a fun diagram he sourced when explaining it here:

Iroquois is top right. And for those who like seeing how the family ties work in High Valyrian:

There are no grandparents - you would simply say ‘father’s father’ etc. to describe which family member you are talking about, which has the fun benefit of delineating lineage in a way that ‘grandpa’ and ‘grandma’ don’t.

Your last paragraph poses some interesting questions about the role of family in Valyrian culture; I like to think that maybe we can assume, based on their preoccupation with closing ranks and keeping their bloodline pure, that family’s important to them. Certainly, it was important enough for Visenya and Rhaenys to take an active role in Aegon’s Conquest; and, more pertinent to our context perhaps, important enough for Viserys to name his daughter heir over his son. Thus, the designation of Daemon as being in a similar role to that of Viserys (with Rhaenyra in canon, Reader in my fic series) makes for some great background that actually adds a whole lot to my decision-making process. Honestly, I was leaning into the incest vibes because ew, but it’s fun and way too convenient to have this fall into my lap as justification for my gross narrative choices.

If anyone’s mega-interested in learning High Valyrian straight from the source (David J. Peterson), you should definitely go here to check out his High Valyrian dictionary; it features some really great notes on structuring HV phrases and sentences, as it works similar to Latin in that nouns/noun phrases place at the beginning of a sentence. I’ve used this dictionary to manually craft and translate my High Valyrian. Be warned that it takes a fair bit to wrap your head around if you’re new to conlangs and linguistics - I had to learn a WHOLE new subset of skills just to understand what was going on here.

Thanks so much for the brain food!

[stvknt2]

🔞This is such a dumb fucking post that absolutely doesn't need to be made but I am feeling particularly insane today so oh well, I'll delete this out of embarrassment later sksksksk

So someone on R*ddit posted about his wife not liking his uncircumcised penis and that got a lot of people talking about uncut and cut cocks, whatever. Not important to me! If my wife ends up having a penis I don't care what the hell she has going on. Turtleneck or not, I will love my wife either way sksksksksk.

I'm not getting into my m3 penis headcanons because THIS IS NOT THAT KIND OF BLOG sksksksk BUT it made me wonder if Genevieve or Ivy Nicole would be weirded out by this type of thing.

I found out that in a lot of other countries uncut penis is like the norm! So lots of turtlenecks going on out there, and apparently the United States is odd because we have not many turtlenecks going on (sad probably, not gonna get into it but why take off their turtlenecks :( unless it's for religious purposes of course! Idk man I'm an atheist I don't think much about religion sksksks so I don't know if like idk the politics around circumcision. And probably won't ever know tbh unless I have a son I guess. Idk. I see no reason to get into this truly) but I don't know if that's a newer thing or not. Anyways here are my thoughts:

Ivy Nicole: She finds uncircumcised cock fascinating! Cool even! Woah, push a little bit of skin back and out comes a mushroom? Pretty cool to her. Cut cock is a little odd looking to her, but she doesn't mind much. In general she just thinks penises are goofy lookin' but she loves them nonetheless.

Genevieve: Uncircumcised penis is natural. It's normal. A penis without a turtleneck is cold :( warm it up immediately!!!! She struggles with penises anyways but thinks they should be kept natural. She one hundred percent understands religion and what their reasoning is so like, she gets it then, but if you're not part of the religion(s) that requires that... keep the turtleneck on ya know? She thinks it's cute❤️

[bloodcrosses]

I used to believe I was special, although looking back I don't think i truly believed it. I was bullied by other kids and teachers (I'm glad your sociopathic arse is retired and no other kids have to suffer because of you, Mr S***r), was emotionally abused and worn down by [a parent]. I was told I couldn't be an actress because it cost too much money (they literally worked with a guy in an amdram group ffs, they knew this was bullshit).

I guess I wanted to believe I was special because the characters in my stories were outcasts who came good. I made up stories where that happened to me too. Wishing upon stars.

Of course, real life doesn't give a single shit about saving people. Hell, people don't either most of the time. I was a problem when I reached puberty and got tired of following rules that benefited no one but the tormentors. Primary school was a petting zoo compared to that shithole called A** S****s. Imagine paraying day in, day out. I told my parents (we finally had a phone then, we were literally so poor we couldn't afford a fucking phone till I was 13) who reluctantly agreed to call about it.

I learned later on they never did. They assumed I exaggerated it all since I wasn't wrapped in plaster in the hospital.

I begged to be moved out of the CDT/Home Ec groups away from my main tormentor N**** S****. They refused. I started just skipping school altogether. Nobody was interested in helping, so why should i give a shit about their fucking toothless, useless rules. I went from being a highly thought of kid to a bad kid. Nobody cared why.

Turns out my worst tormentor, NS, left during my rebellion phase because her own friends bullied her over something completely dumb. I hope she learned something. But probably not. I find it hard to believe bullies can truly change. None of them have ever tried to apologise after all (yes, I realise I no longer use my real name most places - because it's triggering to hear it for a whole load of reasons, the bullshit they put me through being a big one) but my LinkedIn in (private, but logged in members should be able to find it) so they can find me if they want me.

Anyway, my mental health team recently referred me for an autism assessment. I'm not a bad person, I'm someone who struggles with social clues, obsessiveness and depression over being unable to fit in a world I cannot understand.

I am relieved, yes. I'm so also angry at all the maltreatment- more so by teachers, since kids are kids and don't have funny developed empathy - who made me feel so worthless.

My "favourite" story about Mr. St**r (I think his first name was Philip. I do know his son was Richard, so hi there, congrats on your dad scarring me for life!) was he decided to hold an all-girls football match. Cool idea. Except this was a small class, and we required substitutes. He deliberately refused to pick his three least favourite girls as subs or players. This was fucking blatant discrimination. I liked playing football. I was an exceptionally good runner.

But that didn't matter. He hated me for being bad at maths (I still have horribly intrusive thoughts about when he screamed at, to mortification myself and my two fellow outcasts). He resented giving me good grades in English. My art was always stuck on the wall where barely anybody could see it (I'm not great at art now, but I'm good enough to get into publications as an artist, a writer and a photograph. So fuck you).

You might say: well you've achieved a lot. Didn't you win in the end?

Well, that's the thing about depression and nuerotypical disorders - depression is manageable, but if autism is accurate...it I'd a little different, you can't "cure" it. I've learnt very well to mask it. Which is common in females. But I will never be rid of it.

And I don't know how long I can take 30 or so more years of never being quite right.

[willczek-art]

Art Requests Open! [CLOSED]

Hello!!

So last year I did Valentines Day Practice Week, which is just a fancy name for that time I took ship-centered art requests and made full drawings for~

And it went pretty well! Good!Delsin VS Bad!Delsin is still like my favourite drawing I’ve ever made! So obviously I wanna do it again!

So feel welcome to send me ships/multiple characters requests (+ scenario (platonic/romantic/whatever relation/situation you have in mind), any additional prompts (locations/props/references) are also welcome! :D

I would prefer canon characters (especially from fandoms I’m in), but of course OCs are welcome as well! C:

TL;DR

Art Requests Open: 2 or more characters + prompt (scenario: romantic/platonic/etc, location, poses, props, any kind of bonus information) Any fandom OCs are welcome as well No NSFW/nudity/etc

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED thank you so much for all of the lovely suggestions! <3

[kpop-dungeon-dark]

ALPHA HYBRID!JONGIN X YOU

•TRIGGER WARNING•

Warning(s): Semi-Noncon, breeding, claiming. Both characters are of legal age in this. This does not represent Kim Jongin nor anyone affiliated in any way and is purely a work of fiction. Browse at your own risk, you've been warned.

Request: Your mate Alpha Jongin claims you on a full moon against your will.

Y/n rolled her eyes at the eldest son of the Kims, Jongin, before she sipped on her drink and walked to the other side of the hall where the party was being held. She was only here because her mom forced her to do so, saying the whole family was invited and it'd be rude. The annoyed girl was standing in one of the many big balls of his mansion. And Jongin was so damn cocky, arrogant, proud and fucking smug.

The Kims were an elite wolf hybrid family and Jongin's father was the current mayor of the city. Humans and wolf hybrids coexisted throughout the whole world with almost all the hybrids being elite, the specie almost a class of its own. Currently, Jongin was showing off some project he was working on for the city whilst literally eye fucking Y/n who was the daughter of his father's human bestfriend.

She wondered what girl would fall for him. He was way too fucking over confident in himself and his abilities. The man carried himself like he was above everyone else around him and probably thought that too. How could anyone like him? Ugh. He was too much to bear with.

.

"You seemed bored during my speech." Y/n broke out of her trance, jumping a bit when she heard the familiar deep voice behind her. Rolling her eyes she stood up straight now as she was leaning against the railing of one of the many balconies of the mansion, staring at the full moon. "Tsk… isn't this kind of weather cold for you humans? What if you get sick, you foolish little girl…" Before his warm coat was draped over her naked shoulders.

Clenching her fist, the girl turned around to glare up at him. "I am 20! I am not litt-" she stopped abruptly when she came in face to chest contact with the taller, gulping at how he was staring down at her. "J- Jongin…" She whispered, throat dry.

"Hm…?" He casually sounded like he didn't have her trapped against the railing like that. Looking down at her soft curly locks, he softly pushed them out of her pretty face, tucking the strands behind her ear. "Better now that I can see that beautiful face fully."

Y/n felt her legs trembling. She had never been this close to another man let alone Kim fucking Jongin! "Y- Your eyes… t- they're… r- red…" The girl had always found the fact that they could shift into literal wolves terrifying, that was also one of the many reasons she avoided interacting with hybrids as much as she could.

"They are?" Putting his hands on the railing on the Y/n's either sides, the man leaned down and levelled their gazes, staring down at her calmly. He liked how her cheeks were red and pupils shook with fear. Good. "It's a full moon after all. They get like this on such nights. But don't worry, doll. I won't hurt you. I've trained plenty to keep Kai under control. He doesn't bite" before he grinned, his own words contradicting his body because his teeth looked sharper and longer.

"O- Oh alright… I- I'll go then~" shrugging his coat off, the girl tried to escape but oh no.

"Did you think about what I said, little one?" His bigger hand grasped her smaller one before he pulled her right back into him. "My confession… the other day." Jongin raised an eyebrow and spoke before she would try to play dumb. "You're my mate, baby. I need you on these nights… But you're always so busy running away from your Alpha… your mate… your guardian…" His voice was sickeningly low and sweet, plump lips grazing against her cheek. "Your protector and owner."

Angered from his last words, the girl furrowed her eyebrows and glared up at him. "I- I can protect myself just f- fine! Thank you! N- Now let me g- go! I already told you I like someone else! Y- You're a hybrid! I am human! Do you really think I am t- that stupid?! NO. We can't be mates! We are different species!"

The male sighed and shook his head. "Not when you stutter like that. Tsk. You just have to make it so much harder and complicated than it actually is, right? Little brats like you just won't learn until they're taught. And luckily your Alpha is here to teach you all that you need to learn."

Usually, he'd be able to keep his wolf under control much more as well as his anger. But the moon shining so bright right in his face was not helping. And then this little girl right here, huffing so adorably in her top cut low dress was looking so damn beautiful. Her constant denial wasn't helping.

"Thinking your Alpha is a liar…" Throwing her over his shoulder, he smacked her ass. "Tsk. You deserve to be punished harshly for that, my little human" before another smack landed on her ass as the man entered his bedroom, locking the door before he threw her struggling form on the bed.

"L- LET ME GO! Y- YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" Before she tried to take her heels off to hit him with that, making him throw his head back and laugh loudly.

"What a pathetic little mate I have!" Smacking her hands out of the way, the man ripped her shoes off before ripping her dress from the bottom all the way up to the top, causing her to squeak and try to hide herself. "Fuck! You're so beautiful, my little mate!" Catching her kick mid-air, the man crawled on top of her and smacked her lips softly before kissing her. "Trying to hurt your Alpha? Bad baby."

Y/n was constantly running her mouth while crying but the Alpha turned a deaf ear to it. "Just give into the way of the moons, my pretty one, you'll be so much better." Trapping her hands that she was continuously hitting him with above her head, the male started kissing her face all over, tasting her tears and getting hard on them. "So good…" Before Jongin pulled her underwear down and gagged her mouth with it, the girl's screams were muffled now.

"You're so pretty with your mouth stuffed by your underwear, baby." Holding her hands tightly in a bruising grip, the hybrid unzipped his pants, holding her thighs open with his knees before his fingers started to rub against her pussy lips, pushing them open and now playing with her folds, making her sensitive body jump up in his chest from the sudden stimulation, her slit leaking.

Jongin chuckled. "You tell me no but your body can't deny me, huh? Seems like it is much more obedient than this dumb little girl here, tsk." Y/n whined and tried kicking her legs when he pinched her pussy lips painfully. "Look at this wet cunt, tsk!" Before he smacked her folds, causing the girl to scream in pain, his cock standing up painfully hard. "You want another man?!" His fingers turned into half claws, voice getting animalistic. "Well too bad the only man that's going to be fucking you and having you is me!"

Y/n's head was pounding. She hated how good and wet she felt. Her entrance was clenching needily, wanting just any object to push in her right now. Even if it was a marker like she had back home. Of course she was naughty. The girl was 20 after all!

"Fuck baby I need you now~" before the Alpha pushed in her unprepared pussy. No marker or even toy would have prepared for this. Jongin's knot was fucking huge! The human's eyes widened and mouth fell open, her body jerking when he instantly hit her g-spot, not being able to hold back especially because of the full moon and going berserk, thrusting his whole thick knot in and out of her, snapping his fists rapidly.

"You like this baby?! You're inviting me further and further in like you love it!" Pinching her nipples, the man started to suck and bite at her tits, sucking wherever his lips touched and covering her in hickies. "Fuck baby! You're so fucking warm and tight!" He loved the smell of her purity coating his cock, balls upping in without any effort.

"You deny me like that but your body says yes. You're mine after all! And I'll rightfully fucking claim you as such!" Y/n felt her body submit more and more, eyes falling shut as she tried to breathe through her nose because her whole underwear was stuffed in her mouth.

"Tsk… you're blushing in pleasure… look at this naughty fucking girl!" Before he kissed her lips harshly, biting at them before he guided his hand back to her pussy, rubbing at her clit with his thumb while going faster and faster, licking at her dripping sweat. "You like it, Princess?! You like being forced to lay under your Alpha?! Tsk. I should have known! Little girls like you end up being the most desperate whores!"

Letting go of her hands, the man grabbed her jaw and moved her face, licking at the marking point, the junction between her shoulder and neck before he bit down hard, drawing blood out while she screamed and started to squirt, feeling her pussy spasm as her hands gripped his shoulders, shaking.

"I am going to fill your adorable little tummy with my pups. You'd like that, won't you, baby?" Jongin licked at the fresh claim mark on her skin, starting to fill her with his cum before hitting it up her g-spot repeatedly, Y/n's eyes rolled to the back of her head as she gripped his shoulders, trembling under him.

"Tell me how you feel, my pretty human…" The hybrid male husked before he pulled the underwear out of her mouth and kissed her passionately. His hands groped her perfect skin as he stopped thrusting, still letting his cock rest in her, balls deep.

"A- Alpha… Alpha please f- fill my tummy…" She finally submitted, sobbing. "I- I am sorry…" He was right. She could feel it now after being touched and claimed like this. "Y- You were r- right… I- I can feel it… I only w- want you… P- Please fill my tummy with your puppies…" Jongin smiled and kissed her tears.

"Good girl."

.

This is a pretty old request I found laying around along some others. I don't even have the actual request anymore so I made up a summary of the events that unfold.

[frodo-with-glasses]

More Reading Thoughts: The Black Gate Is Closed

Ooh! So the watchtowers at the Black Gate were once built by Men when they conquered Sauron the first time, to keep him in, but then their watch lapsed and he took them over himself, and now uses them to keep others out. Something something; evil can’t create, only corrupt; let your guard down and even your strengths can become the footholds for Evil; something something else.

In which Sam goes on about his Gaffer for way too long.

“Then what the plague did you bring us here for?” GASP more hobbit swears

“But being a cheerful hobbit he had not needed hope, as long as despair could be postponed.” I. Wow. This hit me, for some reason. I guess that’s what happens when you face down one no-win situation after another for a year or two; you sort of get into a rut where you’re not terribly bullish on the outcome of anything (wouldn’t be terribly realistic to expect it, anyway), but you’ve managed not to collapse into despair either. Like a soldier going to war, there’s a strong possibility you’re going to your death, but drink and laugh and smile while you can, ‘cause you might not be alive to do it tomorrow.

Sam: “I can’t believe I’m going to follow you into the very jaws of death.” Frodo: “You don’t have to—” Sam: “No, I’m gonna.”

SLINKER AND STINKER 8-D I’d forgotten about Slinker and Stinker and it caught me so off-guard ahahaha

Tolkien describes Sam’s mind as “slow but shrewd” and I just think that’s delightful.

Frodo: “For the last time, be kind to Smeagol. He had the chance twice, and he hasn’t killed us.” Sam: “Yet.”

“Give it back to Smeagol you said. Do not say that again! Do not let that thought grow in you! You will never get it back. But the desire of it may betray you to a bitter end. You will never get it back. In the last need, Smeagol, I should put on the Precious; and the Precious mastered you long ago. If I, wearing it, were to command you, you would obey, even if it were to leap from a precipice or to cast yourself into the fire. And such would be my command. So have a care, Smeagol!” *eyes emoji*

I see what you’re doing, Tolkien. Y’ain’t slick.

“Cast yourself into the fire” like BRO HOW MUCH MORE EXPLICIT CAN YOU GET

This is foreshadowing so blatant it’s basically a play-by-play of what happens on Mount Doom. (minus the biting but eh)

“Of course, he also firmly held the belief that Mr. Frodo was the wisest person in the world (with the possible exception of Old Mr. Bilbo and of Gandalf).” Wisest person in the world. Have I mentioned lately that I adore Sam?

Honestly I’m glad that the movies had Gollum explain these landmarks as we got to them, rather than before. Here in the book—as earlier in Bree, and again in Rivendell—there’s a lot of thinking and talking before deciding on a course of action. That’s a wise thing to do in real life, but also it’s very funny in a boring way that they’re just sitting in this hollow looking at the Black Gate and talking about this possible back road.

Ooh, Minas Morgul was once something built by Men too!

AND FRODO KNOWS THE OLD NAME OF IT! “That would be Minas Ithil that Isildur the son of Elendil built.” NEEEEEEEEERD

“‘It was Isildur who cut off the finger of the Enemy.’ ‘Yes, He has only four on the Black Hand, but they are enough.’” 0_o

HEP—

KQCHUNZG—

I’M—

HUEHHH????!!!

*fierce whisper* sauron has four fingers on one hand and by the end so does frodo

*DEEEEEEP SNIFF—*

*furious muttering about dramatic parallels and physical manifestations/reminders of psychological trauma and nO frodo didn’t turn into sauron per se but the fact that he caved in the end and the ring took up residence in his head a little bit means he KINDA turned into sauron and frodo’s beautiful fair little hobbit hand has the same number of fingers as the BLACK HAND THAT HE TRIED TO DESTROY AND ENDED UP ALMOST CONSUMING HIM and H-H OLYY F R I CCK*

*also why in the flying blue heck did i never connect these dots before. either i am the big dumb or tolkien is an unparalleled genius. and actually, y’know what, those two things aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive*

*gets up from lying on my face* Whehh? What?? Oh yes the rest of the chapter

Gollum, talking about Aragorn: “He lied on me, yes he did!” It just cracks me up to think of this gangly, dirty little creature tattletaling on this badass Ranger and heir of the Gondorian Kings.

“But they were alone, and Aragorn was far away, and Gandalf stood amid the ruins of Isengard and struggled with Saruman, delayed by treason. Yet even as he spoke his last words to Saruman, and the palantir crashed in fire upon the steps of Orthanc, his thought was ever upon Frodo and Samwise, over the long leagues his mind sought for them in hope and pity.” The way Tolkien can tie the story threads together and remind us of what’s going on at the same time as other things and the bonds that these characters have between each other and aaaaaahhhhh—

*blinks* Oh. So Sam sliding down the hill and almost getting caught by the Southerners, and Frodo having to dash down there and cover him with his cloak to save them both—that was made up for the movie?

…….Huh! I guess it was. Well, I gotta say, I think it’s one of those things that belongs on that list of Good Movie Additions. Because heck yeah to Frodo returning the favor and saving Sam’s life.

OH MY WORD I didn’t even realize the whole oliphaunt thing happened RIGHT OUTSIDE OF MORDOR! I think I completely zoned out as a kid and didn’t realize they were still in sight of the Black Gate when Sam got up to recite this poem. And then I watched the movie and my memory of the whole scene was overwritten to take place in that forest where Faramir finds them in the film. DUDE.

“News from Bree, and not sure as Shiretalk, as the sayings go.” I do remember the sayings, Sam, and I remember them fondly. Y’all are lovely.

“Frodo stood up. He had laughed in the midst of all his cares when Sam trotted out the old fireside rhyme of Oliphaunt, and the laugh has released him from hesitation.” ME TOO, FRODO. ME FREAKIN’ TOO.

What a breath of fresh air, right on the doorstep of Mordor! No wonder it lifts Frodo’s spirits. Sam, you’re a gem of a hobbit and I could kiss you.

[lokifantasies]

Schoolyard Bullies (Loki/Jade)

Word count: 765

Jade tried to cover her ears – to ignore the kids who were pointing and laughing at her. Everyone stood by as the seven-year-old was being viciously mocked and teased by the boys and girls in her class while they played on the playground as they waited to be picked up from school. There were no teachers nearby to witness the assault, and the parents who arrived to take their own children home, quietly rushed them out of there – not wanting to get involved. The only thing that Jade knew to do was try to ignore them.

"Look! She's crying!" one of the boys pointed to Jade and laughed with his friends. "Aw, boo-hoo, little baby, cry me a river!"

"Kyle, stop!" Jade's small voice sobbed out, plugging her ears and looking away. "Just leave me alone!"

"Why are you so dumb?" a little girl in the group called out – the other kids finding the remark hilarious. "You don't even know how to fight us!"

"I don't wanna fight!" Jade cried out, but immediately after, a voice cut through the loud laughter.

"Jade!" Loki called out as he ran up to his daughter – pushing the now-terrified children aside to get to his little girl.

"Daddy!" Jade cried out as Loki knelt down to her and pull her into his arms.

"My love, what happened?" he asked her – his eyes pleading for an explanation for her tears.

Jade pulled back from her dad and pointed her finger at the kids who were now trying to slowly back away from the god. "They – they," she hiccupped as Loki wiped her tears away, "were being mean. Called me names."

Loki's concerned face dropped into one of pure rage, and he stood up and turned around to face Jade's bullies. They all tried to run away, but Loki cast a barrier spell – keeping them from running away from him. "Jade, sweetheart, which one?"

"All of 'em," she whimpered.

"Nuh-uh!" the little girl who had been picking on Jade called out. "It was Kyle!" she fearfully ratted to Loki.

"Really, Stephanie?!" Kyle yelled. "You also called her dumb!"

"What?!" Stephanie argued back. "That wasn't me! That was...um...Jessica!"

The little girl named Jessica widened her eyes. "Don't pull me into this!"

Loki crouched down to their height, so he was able to make eye contact with them.

"Kyle...Stephanie," he began, a sinister grin on his face. "Do you know how it feels to break a bone?"

"Nuh-uh," Kyle fearfully shook his head.

"No, sir," Stephanie answered at the same time.

"Hm," Loki mischievously grinned. Without another word, Loki waved his hand in front of the two bullies and dropped the barrier as the two kids fell to the ground in tears, the others ran away, and Loki stood up. The parents of Kyle and Stephanie ran up to Loki in pure anger and confusion as they watched their kids roll on the ground in pain.

"What did you do to my son?!" Kyle's father demanded to know from the god.

"Who do you think you are?!" Stephanie's mother also raged at Loki.

"Loki, God of Mischief – Jade's father," Loki answered through gritted teeth. Realizing who they were trying to confront, the two parents stepped back towards their children, whose sobs were beginning to quiet down. "Be grateful that they're nothing but Midgardian children...otherwise, I would have actually broken both of their arms," he seethed as he glared down at the children and crouched down to them once more. "Remember this pain you feel scorching through your body," Loki threatened them before returning to the parents. "Your bullies of children will either apologize or stay away from my daughter," he warned the parents. "Do we have an understanding? Next time, I won't be so lenient." Loki turned around and picked up Jade, who was still trying to get her cries under control. "Come on, princess," he said in a loving tone as his little girl wrapped her arms around her dad, "let's stop and get some ice cream, yes?" The young girl nodded her head and wiped her nose on Loki's shirt. He threw her backpack on his shoulder – conjuring her favorite stuffed giraffe and handing it to her before getting rid of the pain spell that he cast on the kids. The parents of Kyle and Stephanie quickly ushered their sobbing kids away and fled the scene where they were thankful to have survived their encounter with the God of Mischief.

"I love you, daddy," Jade sniffed as Loki carried her to the car – wanting to get her somewhere safe and sound.

[wienerbarnes]

A Certain Romance (1/6)

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 2,513

Warnings: fake dating au, mention to past abusive relationship

A/N: im so EXCITED to start posting this series lmk what yall think!!!

MAIN MASTERLIST | A CERTAIN ROMANCE MASTERLIST

He couldn’t quite think of a word to describe the restaurant.

The deep tones of maroon on the walls contrasting against the clean, stark-white tablecloths, tablecloths that have been so deeply washed, soaked in bleach and radiating chemical residue beneath plates of fancy and over-priced dishes for people who have too much money than they know what do with.

Ratatouille is the special for tonight, priced at $32. Side dishes extra, of course.

The overly simple decor on the walls with lighting so dim you’d think they forgot to pay the electric bill, all in the name of minimalism and an art form you just wouldn’t understand.

Bucky has news for them, though. Minimalism won’t get rid of their depression and anxiety, and a $30 plate of vegetables won’t bring you happiness.

His collar feels tight around his neck, even though the first two buttons on his shirt are undone. The longer he stands around waiting for Sam, the more ridiculous he feels. He’s sweating suddenly, and all he wants to do is leave, go back to his apartment, to Alpine, and take off this stupid monkey suit of an outfit.

Where r u?

Should be sitting pretty at a table already. Wearing a cute lil red dress. maybe blue, not sure.

“Son of a bitch,” Bucky mumbles under his breath after reading Sam’s text.

It’s Bucky’s fault at this point. Not only is this not the first time Sam has done this to him, set him up on a blind date and tell him it's him he’s meeting and not a girl, but it’s not the second either. Sam has done this three times, and this is going to be the fourth. How do you let this happen to you four times?

It’s not a surprise either when the date goes horribly all three times, either. The girls are always nice and always beautiful, but Bucky’s in such a sour mood by the time he reaches the table that it’s a failure from the start.

That’s a good word to describe the restaurant. Sour.

“Excuse me, I’m looking for a table under Sam. Or maybe Bucky.” He approaches the hostess, praying that whoever Sam has set him up with isn’t here and that they stood him up.

“Ah, yes, your date has been waiting.” She tells him, and he tries not to roll his eyes.

The walk through the restaurant to the table makes him feel more ridiculous than when he was waiting. He feels all eyes on him and it makes his skin crawl, even though when he glances around, everyone has their eyes on their own date; their date that probably wasn’t sprung up on them by a man who dresses up like a bird for a living.

Careful not to trip over his own feet in the dark room, the only lights being small bulbs on a thin string from the high ceiling, he sees a table that’s probably for him.

The only table with one person sitting alone, he spots you looking down at your phone with a slight frown on your face. Sam was right on his first guess, you’re wearing a deep red dress, thin straps over your shoulders and he can see through underneath the table that it flows down to your calf. Nude heels adorn your feet as they are crossed at the ankle, and he can’t help but feel a little bad.

Just because he thinks minimalism and expensive meals are stupid doesn’t mean that other people don’t enjoy them.

“Hi, uh, sorry I’m a little late.” He greets as he takes his seat.

You look up from your phone and give him a closed-lip smile, an unspoken way of saying it’s alright, but he’s seen that tight smile on too many girls before to know that, no, it’s not really alright.

“I’m Bucky, what’s your name?” He asks, hoping that the sooner he starts the conversation, the sooner he can get the fuck out of here. Respectfully.

As far as introductions go, this has definitely been the most awkward. Neither of you know what to say. Not that he’s about to go around giving Sam advice about setting him up with people, because he certainly wouldn’t want Sam to take that as him asking him to try again, but he couldn’t have set him up with someone worse.

It’s painfully awkward, and he feels himself sweating again, blushing from slight embarrassment at this disaster of a date.

The waiter hasn’t even brought out the bread yet.

He can’t do this.

“Listen,” He begins after a few minutes of silence and the two of them awkwardly glancing around the room, as though the avant-garde art pieces are the most interesting thing either of them have ever seen.

“I’m sorry if I don’t seem like I want to be here, it’s because I don’t. And it’s got nothing to do with you, it’s just that Sam told me I was meeting him here because he thinks he knows best when it comes to setting me up on dates even though I’ve told him countless times that -”

He stops when he realizes you’re laughing. Giggles escaping from behind your manicured hand that’s attempting to cover your mouth, he can’t believe you’re laughing at him. As if the date couldn’t get worse.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt you.” You tell him, the most you’ve spoken the entire night, only really telling him your name and a few one-word answers a while ago.

“It’s just that I don’t want to be here, either. And Sam also told me I was meeting him here, not a date. And I thought that was funny.”

That bastard, Bucky thinks. But he appreciates that it’s the situation you find funny, and not him. He’s never had a date laugh at him before, and as tough as he is, he can’t lie and say it wouldn’t hurt his feelings.

He opens his mouth to say something but another man in an equally ridiculous monkey suit such as his own approaches the table, a basket of bread in hand.

He can’t help but notice how small the breads are and the fact that the butter is individually wrapped in those small tinfoils - not even The Cheesecake Factory does that, they bring butter in a tiny dish - but he doesn’t say anything.

At least now he has something to do with his hands.

The two of you both pick at the bread in your hands, and while the tension is somewhat eased at the table with the confession that neither of you want to be there, it’s still silent and awkward, as neither of you have spoken again.

Bucky doesn’t know what causes him to say it, maybe it's the obligation he feels to keep the conversation going and fill the silence, maybe his mind just insists on making the evening worse, because apparently that’s possible.

“My best friend died. Recently. And Sam’s been setting me up on these dumb dates to take my mind off it.” He says, and he sees out of the corner of his eye your hands pause around the bread and your head lifts slightly to look at him, though he doesn’t do the same.

“Sam was a little better about it at first, using distracting me as a way to distract himself while we both grieve. But he’s got the whole Captain America thing, helping his sister, working with Torres; he got over it a little quicker than I did and… expected me to get over it, too.”

He’s afraid to meet your eyes. He’s not sure why he just told you that, or why he felt like he owed you an explanation in the first place. He doesn’t even know you! What does he care if the date is awkward? He could leave now and never see you again and not feel bad about, and yet he sits here, sacrificing his own comfort in order to attempt to salvage the evening by being honest? Is honesty even what you want?

“My boyfriend beat the shit out of me. If we’re sharing tragic backstories, I mean.” You reply, looking down at your own bread now that Bucky’s head has snapped up to look at you, a humorless smile on your face.

“Had to move states, change my name, the whole nine yards. And while I wasn’t grieving a best friend, I was grieving… myself. My old life. And Sam doesn’t just distract himself by setting you up on dates, he’s been doing that with me, too. And, so, I kind of get what you mean, when you say that other people get over it and expect you to be okay, too.”

Another pause of silence, but the awkwardness is gone now.

“How many times have you heard the phrase, The grieving process is not -”

“Linear? Too many times. If I had a dollar for everytime I heard that, I’d probably have enough money to afford a plate at this place.” You finish for him, a disgusted look on your face. Almost the same look he had on his face when he entered the restaurant.

He laughs, though. The first time he’s laughed tonight.

“Are you two ready to order?” The waiter interrupts again, small booklet in hand, and thick French accent in the air. Of course, the waiters here are French, how is he even surprised?

“Do you mind if we have a few more minutes with the menu?” Bucky replies, not receiving much of an answer as the waiter looks him up and down, gives him a curt nod, and leaves the table once more.

“Listen, I don’t know about you, but this place looks like… I don’t even know, but it just looks sad, and I know a pretty good pizza place a few blocks away. If you don’t mind walking. Or continuing this date as friends?” He squints as he finishes his question, hoping you won’t take it as him playing hard to get, and actually want to be friends and absolutely nothing more.

“You had me at pizza.”

With the bread from the restaurant in hand and his jacket around your shivering shoulders, the two of you make your way down the sidewalk, stomachs rumbling at the thought of cheap, greasy, slices of pizza.

Sitting among people in their pajamas and otherwise casual clothing, it’s safe to say the two of you are the best-dressed people in the joint. Bucky tells you this and you laugh again, agreeing. Slice after slice goes down easily, much easier than any plate at that stupid clownhouse of a restaurant.

The conversation is easier, too. It’s almost like it was so bad before because of the suffocating atmosphere of the restaurant, The Fork, a stupid name for a stupid place.

What was that word he said before? Oh, yeah. The restaurant was sour. The pizza place, though, run by two older, heavier men with ungroomed mustaches and dark pit stains, is much less sour.

“I surprisingly had a good time tonight. I’m really glad we both came to an understanding of not wanting to date due to our individual unresolved trauma and issues, that we should probably be in therapy for.” You tell him, after thanking him for paying the six dollars both your copious amounts of pizza slices cost.

“I did, too. I’m just glad we didn’t have to stay at that dumb restaurant, I mean what was Sam even thinking with that place?” He rubs his fingers over his eyes in lasting disbelief. He’ll never let Sam live that place down.

“Speaking of Sam,” You start, stepping out of the pizza place as Bucky holds the door open for you, “Would you mind telling him that the date went well?”

“I mean, technically it did, didn’t it?”

“It did. But if we tell him that we left with a newfound friendship rather than sore legs and sex hair, he’s just going to keep setting us up on more shitty dates. I mean he’s great, but he does a better job at being Captain America than he does at being Cupid.”

“Agreed. He’ll just keep setting us up with people until we end up dating one of his picks, regardless of friendships made along the way. He’s too competitive, he doesn’t see friendship as a success, only a boyfriend or girlfriend.” Bucky admits.

“So… if he asks, we’ll just say we’re going to go on another date? And then whenever we hang out, we’ll just -”

“Be extremely and explicitly clear about it to him.” Bucky finishes.

They smile at each other satisfied, satisfied knowing they’re finally going to outsmart the bird man, they’re finally going to be done with shitty, last-minute blind dates that they never wanted to go on in the first place.

“Do you need a ride home?”

“Oh, no, my friend’s on her way to get me now.”

“I’ll wait with you then.”

Cheesy flirting ensues as the two of you joke about fake dating, competing to see who can think of the worst pick up line. Bucky feels a bit embarrassed that he probably would’ve used a few of these a few decades ago when he was a fresh, young man, but he doesn’t dare mention that to you. No need to give you more ammunition to use against him, and especially no need to risk you mentioning it to Sam.

Your least favorite, and evidently his favorite, is If happiness starts with “H,” why does mine start with “U”?

He laughs as you dramatically gag on the sidewalk, almost not noticing the car pulling up to the two of you.

“This is me. Oh, here’s your jacket by the way.” You move to take it off from atop your shoulders but he stops you.

“Hold onto it for me. And also, mention to Sam that you’re holding onto it for me.” He winks.

“Will do. Boyfriend.”

“Drive safe. Girlfriend.” He opens the passenger door for you, greeting your friend briefly, and offering a hand out to help you sit inside, closing the door after you’ve clicked your seatbelt.

He watches the rear lights grow smaller and smaller as you disappear down the street, and he begins walking back to where you two came from. His bike is still parked at the restaurant, after all.

That was probably the best date - not a date, friend date - he’s ever been on, and by far Sam’s greatest success yet, even if it’s not the romantic relationship he probably intended.

It was nice to talk to someone without the pressures of impressing them, the intrusive thoughts questioning their deeper motives or what it is exactly they want out of a date with him. He tried engaging in the whole hookup-one-night-stand culture once, and didn’t like it at all.

Not to mention, he’ll never have to go on one of Sam’s set-up dates again! And he didn’t even need to get a girlfriend to do so!

The night couldn’t have ended better, and he can’t wait to tell Sam all about it.

[maxdark158]

Wooo! Writing shoes are back on and i’m actually really happy that i’m finally able to write again. This chapter is a bit shorter than normal but the next two are heavy hitters so it’s alright

Angel in Gotham: Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Part 5 ~ Part 6 ~ Ao3

Demon in Gotham: Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Ao3

Fanart for AiG: Riddler ~ Joker thank you @thegreysman

Please tag me in any fanart you draw for this guys ^^

oooOOOooo

Damian typically liked patrol.

Jumping from rooftop to rooftop under the cover of the night was always exhilarating. Parkour just wasn’t the same without a belt of weapons and a costume, it was always a good way to burn of excess energy and get his mind focused.

Sure, it was his job to protect Gotham so he couldn’t be joking around, but he had to admit he liked the physical activity. He took his job seriously but taking it seriously didn’t mean it had to be unenjoyable.

Patrols were a time when he didn’t feel constrained, didn’t have to play a part or meet expectations. Nothing could ruin the cool gotham city nights on the rooftops.

Well, almost nothing.

After all, Damian’s father had the insane habit of adopting shitty ass kids for his crime fighting ring. Which meant Damian had this awful sickness called siblings. And the only thing that could ruin his nice patrols were the chortling of the other costumed idiots.

The worst nights were when all his brothers went.

Every. Single. Brother.

And what made it worse on top of that?

When they had something they felt they could tease him about. And when they were all teasing him about the same thing at the same time.

He was going to snap and stab one of them. His father might be anti murder but he didn’t have to know…

Damian shook his head. Bad thoughts.

“Thinking of your Angel?” Drake seemed to have a death wish and Damian was all about granting fucking wishes right now.

“Why do you all insist on being here?” he grumbled to himself. Because really they didn’t have to be. No bat signal, probably a few minor purse snatching crimes that one or two could handle easily. Why were they all in costume? Take the night off, stop fucking bothering him.

Annoying Fuck #1 snorted next to him when he said that, clearly not planning to be reasonable. “What, don’t like us teasing you about your Angel, demon spawn?” Todd snorted.

Damian ignored him. “Batman, shouldn’t he not be allowed to patrol with us?” His father could at least tell Todd to go home. Then when his back was turned he wouldn’t witness what happened to Dra-

“C’mon, I haven’t killed anyone and I want to hang out with my little bro! It’s not every day that Robin gets his first crush!”

Annoying Fuck #2, Drake, nearly slipped and fell from laughter.

Damian’s face warmed under his mask. “I do not have a crush you-“

“Focus on the job,” As always, father was on his side. “You can make fun of Robin later when we aren’t patrolling,” the traitorous bastard added.

Damian didn’t want to be the fucking blood son anymore.

He glared at Batman, scoffing to himself. “Then if you’ll excuse me, I’ll take my own route.”

“I’ll go with you little bird!”

Fucking fuck fuck.

Because of fucking course Grayson suggested that. And of fucking course Damian momentarily forgot that Grayson was back and patrolling too, leaving him unprepared for the suggestion. Grayson’s uncharacteristic quietness was the worst thing at times.

Fucking hell why’d they all have to be here tonight?

Proving himself to truly be a traitor, his father nodded to Grayson’s suggestion. So Damian, previously wanting to get away with his brothers and dream of murdering them alone, now had a tagalong stopping such a fun activity.

At this rate he’d have frown lines at 23.

Damian went off, not waiting for Grayson. He knew he’d easily keep pace though, so the halfhearted dream of being fully alone wouldn’t happen.

“Robin, wait here a second.” Oh fuck no. That’s Grayson’s I want to talk voice. Too bad for him because Damian did not want to talk. At all. Especially about anything Grayson might want to talk about. Because Grayson wanted to talk about French Angels and Riddlers and Spars and-

“Robin, are you listening?”

“No, Nightwing, I’m not.” Damian stared at him and raised a brow. “What is there to talk about?”

Grayson huffed, annoyed. Good. Fucker deserves it after what he and the others put him through these last few days. “I was asking if you actually had a crush or not. They’re teasing you but I’ve been,” at WE all day, Damian knew, “busy all day. I can’t tell if they’re making something out of nothing and I’d rather hear it from the horse’s mouth, so to speak.”

There was a time when Damian would have said he wasn’t a horse. When he was younger, he didn’t know idioms and expressions that well. He considered saying it now, to try and change the subject, but he also knew Grayson didn’t let things go easily. Which wasn’t very good.

Because Damian wasn’t sure how to answer.

He wasn’t sure he wanted to answer it, even to himself. His weedkiller wouldn’t arrive for a few more fucking days, he wasn’t prepared for this.

Though maybe that in of itself showed the answer to Grayson’s question…

Fucking fuck fuck.

He shook himself from those thoughts. Grayson was waiting on an answer and he didn’t have time to get lost in thought about his Ang- Marinette. Marinette.

Damian settled for glaring at Grayson. “My private life is not any business of yours.”

Grayson snorted. “Suure little bird. She’s one of the French students, right?”

“Don’t say that right now,” he snapped. Not while they were in costume, not while they could be listened to. “Focus on the job, Nightwing.”

Grayson put his hands up in surrender. “Race you to Wayne Enterprises?”

Damian didn’t wait for an answer, jumping to the next roof and making his way as fast as he could. He was determined to beat his adopted brother’s sorry ass, not that he cared about winning. It wasn’t that he was competitive, he simply didn’t want to continue this discussion. That was all. That’s fucking it.

Grayson laughed behind him, and the race began.

-----

They were taking a break near the Batcave. No activity yet, but they stayed suited up incase that changed. The night was still young, after all.

Batman instructed them to meet there through the comms. Damian and Grayson, further from the cave, made it there last. Grayson luckily hadn’t brought up and other conversation during patrol, and Damian hoped that would hold ou-

The other two idiots were waiting like the fucking lunatics they are.

Fucking fuck fuck.

“Did the demon spawn tell you about his precious Angel?” Todd clearly decided that he would die in seven days by saying that, big dumb fucking grin on his face and hair messy from removing his dumbass helmet.

“What was her name again? Mary?” Drake knew her name and was just being a little bitch. Damian decided not to give him the fucking bait, going over to a place to sit-

“Marie something, French and I think with brown eyes?”

“They’re blue,” Damian bit out. Fuck, their stupidity had infected him, he spoke before thinking. Was there a cure? He doubted it as they were all still stupid and have been for years. Fucking fuck the last thing he needs is to be on their level of idiocy.

“Right, right,” Jason’s wolfish smug grin was showing exactly how much of a fucking bitch he planned to be. Damian wanted to kick his face in.

“Little bird was pretty tight lipped on patrol,” Grayson said lightly as if he didn’t just stab him in the back.

“It’d be rude to kiss and tell,” Damian was going to strangle Drake with his own two hands.

“I haven’t kissed her!” He snapped again. His face was very warm, did he get sunburned somehow?? “We’re friends you imbeciles!”

“Friends that hold hands,” Drake pointed out.

“And tour Gotham together, alone.” Todd shortened his life span even more.

“And invite each other over to their house, where they never invited anyone before, to eat lunch.”

“Look how red his face is!”

“Little bird probably even planned to buy her ice cream! That’s why they were there when the Riddler showed up!”

“I’ll bed demon spawn-“

Damian stormed out of the room. Blood was roaring in his ears and he needed to- he just. He fucking needed fucking out of here. Away from those fuckers. Or he’d actually follow through with his thinly veiled threats and he’d rather not get blood on his costume.

He hated siblings with a passion. If his father ever considered adopting again Damian would fill all of his shoes with centipedes and rip the third seam out of every pair of pants he owned.

I don’t have a crush on her. I don’t. She’s wonderful and amazing, an angel, but I don’t like Ang- Marinette like that. She’s a friend I made and that is all.

Damian grabbed some throwing knives for target practice. Not on his brothers this time. He wanted to clear his head without those fucks nearby.

He threw one. The aim was a bit off, and he frowned. His aim was impeccable, why was he off right now? Why is having a crush on Marinette a bad thing?

No. He shook his head. He didn’t want to think those fucking thoughts right now. He threw another, harder. It went deep into the target, still off by more than he was happy with. He growled lowly.

Ange- Marinette is pure and good and wonderful. I was raised by assassins and I can’t completely shake their ideals.

Another knife. Damian’s grip on them tightened. Why was he missing?

I’m a vigilante and Damian Wayne. I have blood on my hands and money to my name and she wants to make her fashion empire herself.

Damian got more knives. His frustration was growing with each thought. They kept coming back as he tried to dismiss them, kept distracting him from the target.

She’s a talented designer. She’s incredibly smart, knows how to fight. Beautiful, dark hair and freckles and blue eyes.

Another knife sailed through the air.

I’m not anything of note without my last name or costume. She’s amazing without needing either.

Damian walked over and began taking the knives off the targets. Maybe they were fucking with his aim. He should get rid of them. Focus on removing them. Stop thinking about her.

But no matter how many fucking times he tried to redirect his thoughts, they came back.

She doesn’t have to tolerate me.

She’s wonderful and innocent.

She doesn’t deserve to be dragged down.

I don’t want to hurt her.

Damian’s hands were on his face, pushing at his eyes and trying to stop the thoughts. His Ange- Marinette was wonderful he knew that, but he didn’t think the other things. Not constantly anyway, he helped people as Robin. He was his father’s blood son. He wasn’t unhappy with himself.

But that doesn’t mean I’m good enough for Marinette.

He grabbed a knife from the table he set them on and threw it blindly, as if throwing the thought itself out and away.

It hit the center perfectly.

Damian took a deep breath. Everything was fucking overwhelming right now, and he didn’t want to think about it anymore.

But it seemed he’d have to.

Fucking fuck fuck.

Okay, okay. He… He might have a crush on Marinette.

Admitting it, oddly, seemed to lift a weight off his shoulders. Damian took another deep breath.

He has a crush on Marinette. But he values her a friend very much. He isn’t going to do anything about his crush, because she deserves someone as amazing and angelic as her, and Damian isn’t that.

But that’s okay. Because he already loves being her friend. And his weedkiller isn’t too far away.

Damian calmed down. He threw some more knives. They were all on target.

She’ll always be my friend and Angel, if I have any say in it. I’ll make sure whoever she choses is worthy of her.

Damian had just thrown his third when his father spoke through their comms. “Poison Ivy sighting at Gotham Hotel.”

The six words turned Damian’s recently found peaceful mood onto its head. Ice water poured into his and filled his limbs with dread. His chest was tight, as if someone was grabbing at his lungs and they were closing. The weeds of worry were strangling him.

That’s my Angel’s hotel.

He had dropped her off there with Alfred just earlier that day. She was staying there with her class. They were supposed to be safe and protected, she was supposed to be safe and protected.

Damian’s knives hit the ground but his feet hit it faster as he ran through the cave to the exit. Ivy best not lay a finger on her or she would lose her entire arm.

His Angel wouldn’t get hurt, not if he could help it.

[casually-slips-into-coma]

An Essay (sort of) Explaining the Many Grievances I Have With Debbie Gallagher

Once again, Debbie is the fucking worst.

I’ve been wanting to write out my feelings towards her character for a fucking minute now just so that I have a full concise list. Now, I can talk about how Debbie has a constant need for attention, or how her character has become someone unrecognizable in the past few seasons, or how she’s a terrible mother, but what I really want to focus on is the center of my issues with her: her sexuality. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t about to be a homophobic rant or anything. I just think her queer development has been written terribly and that should be addressed.

Too often I see people praising queer characters or relationships based solely on the fact that they are queer, and as a member of the community, I get it. I am also starved for representation. This, however, does not mean I’m going to settle for annoying, poorly written characters.

Why Make Debbie Queer?

The first thing I want to address is why suddenly develop a WLW storyline for her. Given that Debbie started as a little girl on the show, this gives the writers a lot of opportunity to give a character like that interesting storylines because she does not yet have a solid personality. It gives writers the liberty to take her story anywhere they want to without the constraints of established character because she, as a person, is still developing into adulthood. The show runners unfortunately dropped the ball with this.

From season 4 and onwards was when Debbie began showing interest in dating, sex, and romance having just turned the corner to puberty. From then up until season 9, she has shown exclusive interest in men. It isn’t until Alex the welder that Debbie deviates from this path. Alex is portrayed as a stud who confuses Debbie. I am inclined to believe that Debbie was originally attracted to her because she was masculine and therefore close enough to the people Debbie had previous experience with.

This arc was treated very much as Debbie experimenting with her sexuality, something that Alex also ends up realizing after Debbie tells her that having sex with a girl is “not that bad” and “like having sex with yourself” (S9E4). Once this storyline wrapped up (with Debbie shouting “you make me want cock again”) the writers powered through, adamant about Debbie now being a lesbian.

I have two theories as to why they’ve been fighting so hard for her queerness.

1) This was around the time that Cam was leaving Shameless. This obviously didn’t end up happening, but I was under the impression that the writers were freaking out at losing their token gay character and needed to fill that position. When Cam ended up staying, they were stuck with a queer Debbie storyline and decided to just go with it.

2) Shameless was planning on doing a WLW storyline regardless of Cam’s choice to leave and were originally going to give it to Fiona and her lesbian tenant that she had a close relationship and a lot of chemistry with, but Emmy Rossum wanted to move on from Shameless, and so they pivoted and gave the arc to Debbie, a character that was not supposed to be moved in that direction and so her new sexuality seemingly came out of nowhere. Fiona as a bisexual character would have made sense. Debbie still does not.

Shameless’s Awkward Relationship With Bisexuality

One of the biggest issues I have with Debbie is her insistence on being a lesbian. Lesbianism doesn’t come out of nowhere. Bisexuality, however, can. When you grow up being told that you are supposed to feel attraction to men, and you genuinely do feel attraction to men (which Debbie has expressed in past seasons/episodes) it’s easy to ignore your attraction to women and write it off as something that either isn’t a big deal, or something that isn’t there. It’s a lot more confusing than being strictly at one end of the spectrum. It would have been so much more believable if they had simply made Debbie bisexual. Unsurprisingly, they didn’t because the show has a history with bi erasure.

Bisexuality has been treated badly all throughout Shameless, used as a vengeful plot device back in the earlier seasons where Monica was only ever with women when unmedicated. Then in Season 7 when Ian’s boyfriend Caleb cheated on him with a woman (enforcing the stereotype of bisexuals being unfaithful) Ian, possibly acting out of anger or ignorance, said things like “only women are bisexual. When a man says he’s bisexual he’s really just gay”. The only semi positive bisexual representation on the show was Svetlana and Vee when they were in a poly relationship with Kev (though I also think that storyline wasn’t handled as well as it could’ve been).

This fight against the bisexual label in media is not a new one but it is also a harmful stance to take when writing a sexually fluid character. Debbie declaring that she is, in fact, a lesbian after waxing poetic about how Matty had a big dick and Derek had a great body and knew what he was doing is not the way to go. 

You could argue that Debbie, like many other queer women, is an unfortunate victim of compulsory heterosexuality, but frankly I don’t think the writers are well versed enough in queer theory for that to be a possibility.

Debbie as The White Feminist

Debbie is the pinnacle of white feminism. It’s an unfortunate thought that has occurred to me a few times throughout the show. She talks a big game as a man hater and someone after the equal treatment of women but she herself participates in a lot of problematic and anti feminist behavior.

For one, she r*ped Matty back in season 5 when he was blacked out and unconscious. This was a point in the story that was glossed over and one where she suffered no repercussions other than Matty no longer wanting to be around her. It was explained in the show that Debbie didn’t realize what she did was wrong until after she was explicitly told so because she was maybe 14 when it happened (not 100% on the age Shameless is very inconsistent about timelines). It was treated as somewhat of a punchline, something that Shameless has unfortunately done more than once when referring to male sexual assault (Mickey’s r*pe, Liam in season 10 ((i think??)) and in this latest season, Carl) but that is a different topic. 

There was also the time in which she lied to her boyfriend about being on birth control so she could trap him into a relationship with pregnancy (which also counts as r*pe!!) Good on Derek for getting out of that.

Debbie has also been pro-life in the past. Now I understand this was when Fiona was pressuring her into aborting her pregnancy, and as a pro choicer myself, I believe that Debbie was fully in her right to have bodily autonomy and go through with the pregnancy. This isn’t where the issue lies. It’s when Fiona finds out that she too is pregnant and tells Debbie that she wants an abortion that Debbie accuses her of “killing her baby”. Again, her behavior could be explained by her age given that Debbie was still a young teen during this time.

When her actions as a White Feminist become less excusable is mostly in the latest season. Her relationship with Sandy is one that I’m not really happy with because Debbie doesn’t deserve her.

Recently, it has been revealed that Sandy is actually married to a man and has a son. It’s explained that she was basically married off against her will at the age of 15 to a man twice her age. This implies that the product of the marriage, her son, was most likely conceived through dubious consent (or worse) at the hands of an adult when she was just a kid. Just because Debbie thinks that Sandy’s husband “seems nice” does not give her the right to try and make a victim of grooming feel bad about not wanting to be with her abuser. While I understand that Sandy’s son has no fault in how he came into the world, I’m still gonna side with Sandy when it comes to having to take care of a child she didn’t want and who is most likely a source of trauma for her. It’s not difficult to sympathize with Sandy and see that she’s clearly gone through something fucked up and Debbie, despite claiming to love and support her, AND despite her dumb white feminist arc about wanting equal pay and all that jazz, turns her back on the girls supporting girls aspect of feminism.

This isn’t even mentioning how shitty it was to just leave Franny by herself and assume that one of her siblings would take her to school and pick her up and stuff as if they don’t all have separate lives. She talks a lot about being a good mother but decided to “let off some steam” by fucking off to a gay bar to get loaded on coke and fuck a gay man (which wtf thats not a thing that really happens with casual coke but whatever I guess). Once she realized she fucked up, instead of taking responsibility she decided to paint herself as the victim as well as spew offensive bullshit about how she “probably has AIDS now” because of her sexual encounter with a gay man. No lesbian in their right fucking mind would ever say that because as members of the LGBTQ+ community, you are at least a tiny bit informed as to how devastating and tragic the AIDS crisis was for queer people.

(I also have an issue with how Debbie capitalized on her felony as a sex offender and her sexuality to start her Hot Lesbian Convict business but I think that’s enough said.)

Blame the writers

The show got almost an entirely new cast of writers after season 7 which is why the show feels more like a sitcom with low stakes and no consequences rather than a drama, but if there is a queer writer on the team it’s not very evident. Even the better half of the queer relationship story, Ian and Mickey, I don’t feel has really been done justice since the change in writers. It’s just become painfully obvious that the actress is a straight girl playing a gay character (not to mention I have never seen any chemistry between her and all of her female love interests). I don’t fault Emma Kenney (the actress) for this. I actually really like her as a person and I like the videos she makes about the cast and such, and I think she does her best with the script she’s given. My complaints with Debbie are targeted entirely towards the writers.

This brings me to my final point. I need them to let Debbie be alone. Her whole thing for the second half of the season has been that she clearly has abandonment issues and is afraid of being alone. It’s why she’s so adamant about keeping the house and fighting with Lip about it (I’m actually on Debbie’s side for that one but that’s besides the point). They had her and Sandy break up which leaves Debbie to spiral further into her loneliness. From a writing point of view, it makes sense to take this opportunity to give her an arc in which she can overcome that and feel comfortable with herself so that she can move on as an adult instead of jumping into a new relationship. This is especially true since this is quite literally the last season ever of the show and any character development needs to be wrapped up. Introducing a new character out of nowhere does not give the viewers enough time to actually get invested in the new relationship. It’s also unfair to Debbie’s character because her arc is going to feel incomplete.

Anyway,,,,,,uuuhhhhh,,,,,feel free to add on if u want lmao