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#they understand each other they look at each other and see the things they hate in themselves and love the other more for it
lightaflaem · 2 days
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𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌 𝐀 𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓.
characters: s. rintaro, m. atsumu
genre: hurt/comfort
word count: 1.1k
summary: how would haikyuu boys react when you give them a silent treatment.
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SUNA RINTARO
Suna’s keen observation and logical reasoning are always on point. That’s why whenever you try opening up to him regarding your problems and worries, he’ll shut them out in the most logical way he could.
Usually, when you are feeling overstimulated with your emotions, you just need a breather and you already know what to do. However, your boyfriend could not understand that yet at some point.
So when you tried opening up regarding the pressure of reviewing for college applications, you were already shut down with his remarks such as “Well, you can try reviewing harder, right? There’s nothing we can learn in this world so use your resources appropriately”
“Rin, I know what to do! Can you just…listen to me and maybe offer some comfort if you can?” “Why? What’s the point of ranting when you could’ve done something about it and actually made a difference?”
You hated that he’s right and you hated that you couldn’t do anything about it. To prevent yourself from detonating like a bomb, you picked all your things up and left his room as quickly as you could to get some fresh air.
With a huge sigh, his foxy eyes just twitched as he watched your figure disappear from his sight.
You figured out that it's best to just chill out and let everything flow before approaching your boyfriend again because honestly, your mind is still declining from everything.
However, your plan to chill out seems like a little bit hard to carry out, especially when you are also the manager of the Inarizaki VBC.
When their preparation for the incoming practice match with another school started and you did not even bother to look Suna's way, the Miya twins exchanged glances and instantly knew that there was something wrong.
The way your gaze shifted and avoided him during the meeting, Suna felt like his heart was being bruised a fist. He never thought that you avoiding him and giving him a silent treatment could hurt this bad.
The first round of practice just finished and he was already lingering towards you, expecting that you’ll hand his bottle of pocari sweat; however, when he saw you leaving as soon as you saw him towards you, he knew he had enough.
“Come on, Y/N,” he spoke, hand quickly grabbing your elbow in a soft way to prevent you from escaping. “Don’t give me this silent treatment. It hurts here,” he then pointed at his heart, eyelids  drooping.
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t really give you the support and comfort you needed. But maybe if you can enlighten me with how I can help you, maybe we can understand each other more.”
Suna doesn’t lie. It hurts him so much seeing you ignore his presence like he wasn’t existing at all. He doesn't like the feeling. He loathes it so much.
Atsumu will definitely try to pull some shitty pranks however, Kita was fast enough to stop him and pull him by the hem of his shorts before he could do something.
The both of you talked, almost forgetting that Suna is in the middle of training.
The Inarizaki VBC intentionally left the two of you and continued with the practice, letting you guys fix the childish argument you had.
Right after that, Suna was on fire and didn’t even slack off the whole training. In his mind, he's definitely thinking of ways to make it up to you after his training. In fact, he's already thinking of taking you to eat ramen with him which is your comfort food and make you talk to him about your worries once again.
He promised himself that he'll listen and give you advice or comfort or maybe both with a few hugs and kisses to ease you up.
“Should we try setting something to make Rintaro and Y/N argue and make it up before a match so that Suna will be on his best game?” Atsumu proposed.
“Don’t even think about it. I’ll bury you.” Suna answered with his eyes shooting lasers towards the blond male.
MIYA ATSUMU
Arguments with him usually lasted the whole day, depending on how deep the fight was or how petty his actions were. However, this particular argument lasted for 3 straight days. It can actually be fixed however, your boyfriend chose to be an ass instead of talking this shit thoroughly with you.
When his brother, Osamu called you at 8 in the evening to help him calm his idiot brother down who nearly trashed the whole gymnasium of Inarizaki just because he wasn’t having his best day and play, he chose to ignore you and your attempts to soothe his frustrations out which escalated into a heated argument and bickering in front on the whole Inarizaki volleyball team.
If it wasn’t for Kita interfering and saying something like “you know that you could be benched in the following games if you continued doing this, right?” then he wouldn’t calm down and stop throwing the volleyball everywhere.
When you attempted to be the bigger person and sat down to have a talk with him, he decided to fold and close himself with every option and raised his voice at you which made your blood boil.
After making sure that Osamu took his brother home safely, you went back home alone and left a few text messages but he never texted or called you back. So, you figured out that it’s the cue and both of you needed some space and time to cool down.
On the second day of the argument, it was hell for Atsumu. He tried calling you twice. However, you still feel shitty with the way he acted on you that day so you never answered his calls.
He left multiple missed calls accompanied with messages like ‘baby please answer the phone’ ‘😭😭😭’ ‘i missed you. I’m sorry, i was an ass’
A day after, there’s a few knocks on your doors and you were welcomed with Atsumu in his usual volleyball training outfit, head hanging low with both of his hands inside the maroon pockets of his university jacket.
“I’m sorry,” he said with the softest voice you’ve ever heard. “Can I come in?”
Upon closing your door, he didn’t even give you time to adjust with his presence and instantly pulled you into a hug.
“Wait—Are you crying?” “The hell I’m crying! Yer not answering any of my calls and messages! I thought I’m gonna lose you!”
And there he is, Atsumu the big baby like he always is. Rolling your eyes, you gave him a few good smacks before talking everything through and reminding of the boundaries and of course, letting him let out all of his frustrations.
Atsumu will definitely feel like the shittiest person ever after realizing that he just yelled at you in front of the whole team. He also got some punches from Osamu after they went home that day.
“I’m so sorry baby. I know it’s not an excuse but please, don’t give up on me. I’m working on becoming a better person every day.”
The following days were spent with him making up with you and apologizing to Inarizaki VBC.
Surely, he earned a few punches from Osamu again because what he did is still an ass move.
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© lightaflaem. do not repost on any platform.
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thedivinetarot · 3 days
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Astro observation | Family Edition
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This observations are made based on experience. You need to consider the environment you were raised in before considering if this resonates with you or not.
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☆ I've realized that the conjunction between fire moons is explosive by the fire nature. Ex; someone have their moon in conjunct to someone else's moon in Aries. The nature of their feelings to each other can be unpredictable or unstable.
☆ Having one of your family members sun or moon specifically in your 4th house make you feel safe and seen with them.
☆ people with mars, Pluto or Saturn in their 4th house can indicate unstable home environment. If mars, then there was violence in the environment. If pluto then the 4th house person need to break generational trauma or he/she is the cycle breaker in the family. If saturn, then the environment was so structured and organized or parents might have high expectations of the child/ 4th house person or the mother or caregiver was so cold and distant emotionally.
☆ Uranus is the 4th house means that the person never settled down for a long time in one house during their childhood. Or they were the scapegoat or the black sheep in the family. I've also witnessed that they also got treated differently than their siblings.
☆ Having your moon or jupiter with good aspects (trine or sextile) with one of your siblings can make the relationship so addictive and sweet. Like this sibling make you feel so healed and at peace (you need to check other aspects).
☆ pluto square mars in the synastry between you and your parents/siblings indicates that the mars person were violent physically with pluto person. I've seen this in people who their caregiver was violent with them physically.
☆ Having your mars square mars of your caregiver can make you both do the same task differently. I've had this with my mother and when I help her she ask me to do the task in different way than I usually do. It can be frustrating honestly each one of us thinks she is right or her way is the right way.
☆ Having your father's sun in your venus or 1st house or ascendant can make you the golden child for him. Usually the sun person spoils the venus person a lot.
☆ Lilith in your siblings chart can tell you what exactly they are jealous of. If your siblings Lilith fell into your 7th house then she or he might be jealous of your social or romantic relationships. If their Lilith fell in your 1st house then they might be jealous of how you look or your beauty or your personality or your confidence.
☆ Venus or moon square pluto with siblings can make them very possessive of you. Like you are this person who they can't live without and they get so mad and angry when you put boundaries. Guys I'm not joking I have this with my younger siblings and both of them literally compete for my affection and the are so possessive over me lol.
☆ Having your moon in trine with a siblings moon can make you understand their feelings easily.
☆ Having a sibling with a lot of opposition aspects in you chart (more than 4 aspects) can mean you either can't live without them or hate the ground they walk on. Also I've seen that this sibling can help you see any problem from a different angle.
☆ Saturn in the 1st house or Saturn conjunct the ascendant can make the person a child who carried too many responsibilities from a very young age. Like taking caring of younger siblings or parenting their own parents. This can be an indicator that the person who have this aspect is the oldest child (take what resonates).
☆ Siblings with the same mars sign can get irritated from the same things, which can be good or bad based on the other aspects.
☆ Your parent or siblings saturn in your 1st house or conjunct your ascendant can make them very critical of you. Like for ex. If someone's saturn in leo and you have a leo ascendant they can be very critical of your personality or confidence or choices. Another ex. If someone's saturn in gemini and you have gemini ascendant then the saturn person will be very critical of your ideas or neighbors or school friends or they can judge your communicating style.
☆ If you have your father's Lilith in your sun sign he can be very jealous or intimidated by you or your achievements which can lead to a lot of misunderstanding or even abuse.
☆ Your mars in your father's 1st house or conjunct his ascendant could indicate that the mars person can provoke the ascendant person easily, Which can lead into violent arguments.
☆ Your caregivers mercury square your moon can make them clueless of how you feel or the way they communicate their feelings make you very irritable.
☆ Saturn in the 10th house in the natal chart can indicate a very strict father figure. Also another thing is your father might have been very critical of you or giving you hateful comments.
☆ If you have your planets in your mother's 5th house; most of your relationship with her is either encouraging you to follow your dreams/ passion OR spent a lot of time with you doing fun stuff (watching movies, going to restaurants, shopping, having coffee together etc..).
☆ I know many people mentioned this before but I will mention it again anyways. Saturn in cancer means a very dry and unhealthy relationship with the mother. The native's mother might have been cold and distant towards the child or the house person. And the effect can be greater if saturn in cancer was in the 1st house and 4th house specifically.
☆ Moon in Aries, Scorpio, Aquarius, Capricorn and gemini have a very unhealthy relationship with their mother. Their mother either were too detached from them or too attached with no personal space. Also these moons can indicates emotionally unstable individuals.
☆ I've seen this alot but idk if you guys have experienced this. Anyways, a Taurus sun sister can always fight with Cancer sun brother. They always be like: I told you not to use my facial cleanser and he be like: but it smells so good🙄.
☆ Mercury in virgo for a sibling can make them very critical of your ideas especially if you have air or water mercury. These natives with virgo mercury can make you feel dumb honestly.
☆ Mercury opposition in synastry with a sibling can make both natives aware of how different their style of communication or seeing any subject differently.
☆ Your siblings Venus or moon in your 1st house can make them very very generous with you. Like they can give you A LOT of stuff or food or even share clothes with you.
☆ Siblings with virgo and taurus sun are very generous also. They share alot of their possessions with you. They can even give you money, food, clothes. (If they love you).
☆ Siblings with Leo placements are very generous too. They are the sugar daddy/mommy in the family.
☆ Siblings with libra placements loooovveee to be spoiled by others. And most of the time they can be the diplomats in their family when two people are fighting.
☆ Aries placements can either be your biggest bully, selfish and uncaring sibling OR the most responsible and caring one there's no in between.
☆ Siblings with Sagittarius placements or Sagittarius dominate are fun to be around. But their anger can be unpredictable.
☆ No one and I said no one can understand you more than the sibling who have their sun in your ascendant. They just get you.
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Post date: 17th of sep/2024-Tue
* Feedback is appreciated
How many of them did resonate with you?
Thank you for reading this ❤
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curioscurio · 6 hours
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Why we have to start being nicer to eachother:
I know it sucks and is hard, but I think we really do need to start treating techbros and incels and our fellow humans with a bit more compassion, empathy, and understanding before we jump to bad faith interpretation. Especially when seeing a bad take online used as bait for arguments. We have to give other people the opportunity and knowledge to think for themselves, and make the choice to become a better person on their own.
"Hold on! Why should I be nice to people like that? THEY'RE the ones who are being bigoted to US!"
Well, I'll try and answer that question below! I ended up writing a lot, so check out the "read more" if you're curious. At the end of the day, I'm not an expert or a professional on human behavior, so keep that in mind. This is just something I've been thinking about based on my own past experiences.
Conspiracy theorists, the far right, gun enthusiasts, and even MAGA's all operate on the belief that modern society hates them for who they are. They think the entire world is against them.
And, looking at the kind of hate rhetoric and harmful ideologies they talk about; the cruel acts of casual and extremist violence that stem from that community, it easy to see why the world has turned its back on them. Right?
It makes you wonder: "Why are they like this?"
The easy way out is to simply hold on to the belief that they are behaving this way because they are bad people. Bad people do bad things, after all.
But when the world turns its back on a group of people, those people turn their backs on the world. They will naturally gravitate towards whichever group of accepting humans they come across first. Whoever validates their feelings and makes them feel accepted and safe instead of rejected and fearful.
The far right preys on young men who don't know know any better because they are never treated any better. They have influencers, exactly like Donald Trump, that make you feel safe. They also are lying to these people and using their fear of rejection to control them.
It's very similar to how the Church will help you out and feed you if you're homelss... as long as you join the church and donate 10% of your earnings to "God." (The churchs bank account. )
That is to say, people don't usually pop out of the womb with these prejudices and fears programed into their heads. It's something that has to be taught to them by somebody else. Their parents, the church, their school, their friends, youtubers, etc.
"So, what do we do? How do we save future and current generations from being sucked into this hateful spiral of far right bigotry?"
"How do we help our conservative parents, who we know love us but are absolutely convinced that they need guns to keep their families safe? How do we help our Trump Train family members who used to be loving, compassionate, people?"
Well, you're not gonna like the answer. We have to start being nicer to everyone. We have to be nicer to incels, dude bros, techbros, Karen's, and yes, even your average Republican voters. We have to show them compassion and empathy when they're expressing their fears, without immediately attacking them for it. We have got to prove to them that there's a place for them to come back to.
Their fears are being taken advantage of by a system that benefits from pitting the general population against each other. If we're too busy fighting eachother, we can never join forces and fight the system.
And so it turns into a self-sustaining system of fear and reactive lashing out. They start believing that everybody is against them, except the few people who understand. Until the only safe place left for them is the Q Anon message boards. Quite literally an orobourous of hate.
"But Curio! They literally want us dead! These people are violent and irredeemable!"
Many of them are. So many of these people are groomed into believing that the only way they can keep themselves safe is by killing anything they think has caused them harm. It's an intentional system maintained by those in power to control those who are not.
Some of them, however, are just normal people who got in with the wrong crowd or are too young to know better. Some people were never given the chance to be better.
"So, what SHOULD we do? Be nice to our oppressors? Let them get away with hate crimes and bigotry?"
No. But we DO need to stop thinking of "them" as this massive malevolent demographic who have no souls and are inherently evil. The majority of these people were lied to and manipulated and groomed into these beliefs.
We have to try harder to stop ourselves before we start calling them names and attack them, regardless of if they deserve it or not. We have to engage with them on good faith. Learn about WHY they believe conspiracy theories and why it stems from fear.
"Why? What will this help?"
Because you're quite literally showing them that there's another option available for them to take. You're showing them that, if they do change their minds and want to change their behavior, that you are a safe person to approach with these thoughts. You have the power to create a space for them where they're allowed to think for themselves without punishing them for it.
Once you create that connection, it's like you're showing them another road in life they can explore. They now can see a new future for themselves. A future where their kids start talking to them again. A future where they're not terrified of being humiliated for being soft. A future where they feel listened to.
And that's all. You just have to give them that chance. It's not your job to change their mind, or to tell them that they're wrong for thinking thoughts. In fact, trying to do just that will usually encourage them to double down.
But what you CAN do is build an environment where they have the OPPORTUNITY to change their mind. You can be kind, empathetic, and educational. Be patient and listen and have a respectful conversation with them.
It is especially important for people with privilege to step up and be those kinds of diplomats. People who are able and willing to look past the surface bigotry to address the scared humans underneath. People who can do this without endangering themselves or their community. This may be other cis straight white people who can get away with bringing these topics up gently, without triggering reflexive defensiveness. Who then have the patience to gently educate them and steer them towards a better path.
"But Curio, I can't do this. I've been hurt too many times by these people, and doing this would cause me significant mental distress."
Then don't. You're not obligated to be the better person for every situation and circumstance. Nuance must be taken into account. You don't have to be nice to every troll or ragebait Twitter post. I certainly don't want you to put yourself in a situation that causes you emotional, physical, or mental harm. Hell, you don't even have to give them the time of day. It's your own responsibility to make the judgment call regarding your health.
But people simply won't change if there's no room for them to change. And some people have the power to make that room for them little by little.
"I've tried everything. I've begged, cried, been nice, and shown them that we won't reject them. They won't change their minds no matter what."
And that's also ok! It can happen. When you give people the opportunity to make choices for themselves, there will always be people who still choose to believe the system they were groomed on. They can do that because thats free will, baby. There will still be people who will not change their minds and who will actively choose to become more radicalized.
And it's sad to see. But you also have to respect that sometimes people aren't ready to change at the same time that you're ready to help them change.
But you should try to do it for all the young men and children who are being taught by their parents that White Genocide is real. You should do it for the parents who love their kid so much, but are so terrified when they say they're transgender because they don't know what to do. Because they know the world will not treat them fairly or are afraid of ruining everything.
You should do it for your 10 year old nephew who watches Andrew Tate because their mother doesn't give a damn enough to check what kind of YouTube videos their kid is watching. You should do it for the depressed and hurting teenager who thinks they have no option left but to buy a gun and shoot up their school, because no ones listening to them. You should do it for the tradwife who's alone and hurting after her conservative husband cheated on her and left her with nothing; because she thought she would be the exception.
"...How do you know this will work? What if you're wrong, and nothing changes?"
I don't! I'm just a random person on the internet. I dont know who might read this. It's just my opinion.
But at least, at the end of the day, you tried your best to be a good person to another human being, and I don't think that's such very a bad thing. For me, I'm going to try because I don't want to lose my father to that kind of environment. I want to be able to have a normal conversation with him again.
There's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for.
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lailawinchesterr · 2 days
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remedy (vi) — sam winchester
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> prev, masterlist
summary: just when you thought things were getting easy between you and sam — tags: underage!reader, 22 year old!sam, med student!fem!reader, cursing.
“Why do you have so many nicknames for me?” Sam looks up from his book with a frown, still comprehending your question, and you can’t blame him, it came out nowhere. 
It’s only been a few days but you’ve spent the night with each other, though to be fair you’re both mostly studying. You figured it’s a good way to keep him next to you instead of Lily and you’ve always loved study dates. But it hasn’t all been so easy— Jess doesn’t approve of freakin’ Sam Winchester, like, who else would you approve of if not this man? 
In other news, Sam has been shutting you down everytime you brought Dean up and you don’t want to push him so he’s been getting away with it even though you can clearly see how bad it’s eating at him. 
“What?”
“Nicknames. You use lots of them.”
“Such as? Sweetheart?” He has to know how sensual it is when he says it. He has to.
“You use lots of other ones too. Why?”
“I don’t know, I want to see what fits you and what you like, I guess. Do they bother you?” You raise an eyebrow at him and it might as well have been you calling him a fucking idiot. Hate them? You’ve never been so flustered in your life from one person but every single word out of his mouth makes you want to lean in and kiss him. Which you can technically do.
“Was just wondering.”
“Well, which one do you like best?” He questions with a smirk, he knows how unnerved you get. You’ve gotten plenty of nicknames from other people, but most of them are just your own name twisted around, this is something that’s reserved for… lovers, you guess. Couples? Whatever.
“All of ‘em. They all sound good coming from you.” He raises an eyebrow in question and you shrug, sitting down on the bed next to him, “maybe I like some more than the others. Just a little, though, but I want you to call me whatever you like.”
“Tell me which ones.” It’s the way he doesn’t hesitate that makes you speak up even when everything in your body is begging you not to. 
“You know which ones,” it’s a little bit teasing, mostly nerves, but you move closer to him. It seems to be the only position you’re willing to kiss him in, with you on his lap. You really should try to change it up. 
“If you don’t tell me which ones I’m gonna have to start calling you honey-pie.” You gasp, a hand on your chest in offense.
“You fucking wouldn’t! Sam, I think I’d actually throw you out.”
“Of my apartment?” You nod absolutely. “Sure you would, baby.” Okay, that’s the one. The one that makes your heart flutter and eyes fall to his lips and makes things jump inside of you. It’s sweet and hot and so so possessive. 
“Whatever.” It seemed to be your usual ‘conversation ender’ around Sam. “Anyway, I’m done with studying. Bored. And done.”
“Which one?”
“Bored.” He nods and puts his book on the nightstand, some old classic he’s reading for a literature class, not that you understand why on earth he would increase the work-load on himself, but he does. He loves it apparently, and this one was free, too, so. When he’s done you’re immediately straddling him, smiling down at him and enjoying the fact that this is the only time you’re taller than him.
“What are you doing?” He asks teasingly. You’re about to answer when it hits you all at once. Does he think this is sexual? Surely not, you’ve done it a thousand times (a couple) and you’ve only ever made out. But it is ten at night. Still, so what?
You’re about to shake your head when you feel his lips on yours, unrushed and perfect. The way he’s been doing every time you get in your own head. When he pulls away, you’re chasing after him, basically, “Never anything you don’t want, okay?”
“Okay,” you whisper, though it comes out a little like a whine, then push him against the headboard again, your lips on his. Sam sucks on your bottom lip, making you squeeze your eyes shut in a silent moan that he swallows.
And then. You’re grinding against Sam, involuntarily. You’ve never done it, never felt like this, never felt so—
“Sam— Sam, wait,” He lets out a small laugh as you push him away. You’re sure your hair’s not obedient at this point and you’re only slightly sweating and off balance, but that’s the least of your worries.
“You want me to wait? You’re the one moving.” He says fairly, lazy and relaxed. It’s a long way from how he panicked everytime you pulled away only a week ago, which is heartwarming considering you’ve also gotten better at holding yourself back. Everything is easier now, less strained. Okay maybe it’s just the making out, everything else is still new and unknown to you.
“I know, I know, just— I’m scared…” 
“Hey, come on, I wouldn’t do anything you don’t—”
“That’s not it. I just don’t wanna do it, you know, wrong.” He shakes his head swiftly, sitting up.
“We’ve been doing this for a week and you haven’t messed up once, what makes you think now’s any different. You’re perfect, sweetheart.” He steals the breath from your lungs— not enough to make your worries disappear though.
“Sam,” you pull away, a little breathless, “I didn’t mean, kissing or whatever, I meant. The whole way.”
His eyes widen dramatically, leaning down to whisper, sarcasm lacing his words, “you mean sex?” Like it’s a secret and you roll your eyes, slapping his shoulder.
“Asshole.” 
He uses your arm to bring you back in for a kiss, “we already said we’d wait.”
“I don’t know, Sam, there’s been lots of waiting happening, don’t you think?” Even if you’re right (which you are) Sam’s staying true to his word. He said it would happen when it was the right time, when you’re comfortable enough not to be insecure about it (though that’s probably never so…), and when you’re sure it’s something you want to give to him. 
Which— seriously? Longest list ever. 
He’s about to remind you of his boring list again when— yeah, that’s a window opening. The one in the living room. Okay. This is okay. No big deal, Sam’s here and he probably knows what to do in cases like these… right? 
When you look over at him, he’s already carrying you off his lap to get out of bed, shushing you with his finger over his lips silently before opening the door, looking outside. This is some movie—level type shit, right here, you’re not dying because he’s deciding to take it slow.
“Sam—” He shushes you, sternly this time, with the glare and everything. Which freakin’ terrifies you because up till now you were only overreacting in your head, but very calm on the outside, now you’re shaking on the outside too.
He departs the room so you’re alone with a possible killer in the— “Dean!” 
Oh thank God. 
You let out a breath you were very much holding for dear life before stashing your phone (your finger was on the emergency contact), and opening the door as wide as it goes to greet Dean. Except you get Sammy on the floor, a snappy remark from Dean you can’t hear, then they switch sides.
“Guys… should I leave?” You hesitate, frowning at the pair. Dean look up at you then fucking winks. Sam’s never scrambled off his brother so fast, you’d guess. They’re both off the floor quick, Sam helping Dean to his feet before he saunters to you, that same smirk from the first time glued to his (pretty) face.
“Hey, sweet—”
“Why are you here, Dean.” Sam asks loudly. States loudly? It’s not quiet, that’s for sure.
Dean clicks his tongue with a look that says, ‘I’ll come back to you’, before turning around. He does something, another expression Sam gets with no words and shakes his head, but ultimately nods. 
Great. Another silent conversation you’re not apart of. This is getting real good— “Hey,” Sam steps over to you, a hand on your lower back as he leads you back to his room.
Anyone else think this is getting real fucking repetitive?
“Sam, what’s going on?”
“I’m leaving. With Dean, tonight.” 
Sam’s room is the exact same from when you two were having your moment, lights turned down low the way you like it, and suddenly it doesn’t feel so romantic. Neither does his docile tone. 
“I don’t want to stop seeing you anymore.”
“Beautiful, every part of you.”
“I want to be with you.”
And the best liar’s award goes to… 
“Hey, baby,” You give him a look, one that screams ‘are you on fucking drugs right now’, and he shakes his head. “Not— just till next week. I’ll be back before next week, I promise.” Oh. 
“You said if you leave you wouldn’t come back.”
“I thought that would be the case but,” he leans closer, his dimples, oh-so-beautiful, with that smile, eyes glinting, “I have something to come back to.”
And you’d be deceiving yourself if you say that it doesn’t calm your heartbeat to hear it. You don’t want to be easy, you want to stand your ground, and tell him there’s no way— but wouldn’t you be as bad as Dean, then? Not letting him do what he craves? Whether it’s law, or being a good brother/son, who are you to dictate that for him? All you have is to be there for him through it.
“And— and we’ll keep in contact?” He agrees feverently, his hands landing on your hips to draw you in. 
“No way I’m going to stay for that long and not call you. You said you trust me, right?” 
“Right.”
“So trust me, okay?”
“Okay.” He pinched your hips and you let out a yelp, he made sure to capture the moment by stealing a kiss, deepening it immediately. Like he doesn’t want to keep telling you how he feels through words, they’re too little, too underwhelming, not enough to explain what he feels for you. 
And you hope, with everything that you fucking are, that that’s what that kiss meant.
When you disconnect, his eyes, if nothing else, serenade you. And you’re sitting on his bed watching him pack with such little disdain, it’s comforting. Even when him and Dean drive you home in the impala, even when you kiss one last perfect time with his promise of next week you’re still composed.
Even when you tell Jess.
“He— what?” She shrieks, her arms crossing in front of her chest. She’s not even angry at him for leaving you. “He didn’t even say goodbye.”
“He’s coming back, jess—”
“Yeah well I come back after every summer vacation, still tell everyone I love them before taking off.”
I shrug, partly agreeing with her but honestly? The fact that I got to kiss him seconds before he took off is enough for me to forgive anything else he’s ever done. Except Gen jumps into the conversation, holding up her phone, reading out loud his ‘hey, Gen, I’m out of town for a few days, love you.’
And Jess is freakin’ seething, it’s actually kind of funny. Gen is rapidly regretting her decision to share with the class and is soothing her girlfriend when you get another text. Thankfully your phone’s on silent so it doesn’t alert both girls, but you feel it vibrate and open the message.
Sam: hey.
Sam: Did you tell Gen and Jess?
You: yeah, why?
Sam: because I don’t wanna tell Jess.
Sam: I can imagine how funny she’s being right now that I said bye to the both of you but not her.
Sam: don’t want her to worry though.
You: asshole.
You: in an affectionate way.
Sam: I’ll text you later, baby.
Maybe he should leave more often if he’ll be this tender and caring with you. You take that back. Because you’d still be on his damn bed talking, kissing, maybe even going a little further if Dean fucking Winchester hadn’t interrupted you. 
You were talking about something really important, just for him to, what? Break in! Like a lunatic, no less. But you’ve gotten over it already, new problems, new overthinking material. 
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You’re thankful for the nights with jess and gen, considering you haven’t been close with them these past few days, always with Sam, sleeping over at his, which is surprisingly easy considering you lock yourself in a room of your own after spending half the night on his bed talking or studying. 
But thankful, nonetheless. You needed some alone time. And when you wake up Sam sends you a text, just good morning and when you respond it doesn’t go further than that, you don’t mind. You’re glad to know he’s alive everyday till he decides to come back home. Which is why when he calls two days later, you on your stomach with some assignments in front of you, you answer like he’ll hang up in a second if you don’t. 
“Sam Winchester. Who would’ve thought, you do know how to use a phone!” It’s a tease, he’s honestly been incredible with keeping you updated, but it’s good to know he meant it when he said he’ll call.
“How’s our favorite doctor?”
“How’s our hotshot lawyer?”
“Good. Better now that I’m talking to you.” He says, exhaling like he just sat down on his bed and you let out a laugh.
“Stupidest thing you’ve ever said. Hands down.”
“Oh, shut up, you love it.” You do. “How’s school?”
“Fine. Jess said you’re missing important classes. How’s Lily taking it, her partner up and leaving?” He doesn’t answer, just groans like she’s been making his life miserable, though you wouldn’t know. Okay maybe you’re a little bitter about him leaving.
“She’s texting non stop, but I get it— just wish she’d believe that I’m out of town. She probably knocked on my apartment door I swear to God.”
“Gen would’ve known.”
“She’s staying at the apartment?” He questions, and you hear— Dean. Dean is in the background, shouting something about a… woman called Constance. And you’re muted. Great. “Sorry,” he says over the static after a long thirty seconds. “Gen, why’s she not over at yours?”
“I don’t know. Doesn’t wanna leave the apartment empty, I guess. Jess is over at yours more often than not, though, if that makes you feel any better.”
“So you’re alone.” You shrug, then remember the obvious, and mumble something about studying. This whole call has been dull the second he spoke. There’s something going on, and it has nothing to do with Gen or Jess or the apartment.
“What’s wrong, Sam?” Everytime sam takes a pause before he answers, or say ‘baby’ in that low voice, full of so much emotion, or shakes his head before he’s even spoke a word, your heart drops for a second. First it was age, then experience, then leaving and now— God, whatever this is. The only reason you’re not always assured with sam is because you have to hold your breath in anticipation when he open his mouth.
“It’s nothing, I’m just— this case is taking longer than I thought.” 
They’re called cases, now? What has America come to? “Okay, what’s wrong with that? Is it like… too infected?” 
He stutters and it forces you to shut your eyes in agony, just stop. Just stop and say what you mean or you might actually throw the phone.
“Yeah, something like that— I gotta stay for another week.” You huff out a breath, sitting up immediately, another week? 
“It’s only been two days! How could you possibly know you’ll need to stay another two weeks?” If your voice is slightly raised, it isn’t because you mean for it to be. In fact, you’re trying with everything in your soul to breathe before you speak but he’s making it so difficult. You feel like you’re being… played or— something is going on and it sucks. 
“Look it’s connected to another state and we’re—.”
“You’re what? The only exterminators in the country? Sam what the fuck kind of exterminators are that important, huh?” Suddenly, you're no longer concerned about the volume of your voice, “I swear to god, I just— just give me something, anything, sam! Tell me something I can believe. You promised it'll only be a week.”
He says your name like it’ll stop you from lashing out, and you can just imagine him with his head in his hands over the edge of the bed, or sprawled out on it, a palm pressing into his forehead. Either way he’s stressed and any other day you would’ve tried to be there for him, he’s your friend above all else, but he’s lying to you. “I can’t just— it’s a family thing, okay?”
You scoff, already feeling the tear running down your cheek. Whatever. Fine. You weren’t naive enough to think you’re close enough to be considered anything other than his girlfriend, if you were even that. You’ve never had sex, you’ve only been dating for a week, known each other for a month. You know what? Maybe this is going a little too fast. Maybe this is just—
“No, no, stop it. Please. This isn’t it, okay? We can have fights without ending it, right? Right?” 
Right. He’s right. He should be right.
Is he right?
“Tell me the truth.”
“I… am. Kind of. We’re not exterminators for the bugs type of thing— more like bears and other wild animals. Wolves.” So. Much. More. Believable. 
You’re in Med school for fucks sake, does he think you got there with your good looks? He can’t be for real. “That’s a lie.”
“It isn’t, I swear.”
“Your promise, your swearing, whatever, doesn’t mean that much right now, Sam.” Even with how mad you are, you know that’s not true, he’s always been true to his word, and you get that this was out of his hands, he can’t help it if there’s an extension of the ‘case’. But it’s as low as you can go. “Whatever. You hunt bears, where’s your dad?”
“He’s, I don’t know.” The way he says it, so heavy with exhaustion and worry, even you can tell it’s as truest raw as it can get. “Me and Dean are looking everywhere. He left us this thing, his journal—”
“Journal?”
“He’s old school. Wrote where he’d be next in it, we just want to find him, then I’ll come back, I have to finish the year.”
“Yeah. And your LSATS. They’re in one month starting tomorrow.” 
“Yeah… I know.” And for some reason, you feel like a dick for being so assertive. Sam doesn’t sound like himself at all, and sure a part of it was probably from him lying to you, but you can still sense there’s something else. You’re done asking for tonight, though, he doesn’t need questions, he needs comfort. You get that, more than anyone. But one last thing—
“Why the hell would you lie to me about something like that, Sam?” Your question isn't accusatory like most of the conversation was, it’s lighter, and seems to flow between you and Sam easier. 
“Didn’t want you to worry. What me and Dean do is dangerous, and we kind of seek out these things to hunt them down— only if they’ve hurt someone.” That’s sweet, no matter how moronic it is. His intentions never were malicious, with you or other people.
“Right. That’s petrifyingly risky.” 
“Petri—” He chuckles, “Yeah, Shakespeare, what else?”
You scoff affectionately, “Not the point. Just… honesty, okay? That’s all we have, it’s all I ask.” 
You can feel him nodding, and you can feel yourself mirror his actions. You’re not even— you’ve only known him for a month and somehow he’s the only man you’ve ever seen yourself have a future with. How? How does he do this to you? Hypnotize you and pull you in, while still being your safety net. It’s comfortable, it’s passionate and God you’re so into him. 
“Yeah, baby, honest. Tell me about your day.” If the grin on your face means anything it’s that you’ve never felt like this before, and you might never again with another man.
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Sam: morning.
You: hey, how are you?
‘Mornings’ never usually open up to conversations, just a way of reassurance, but it’s been a couple of days since you’ve last called each other and you’re life’s pretty tame right now, why not initiate the conversation?
Sam: hey, i’m okay, what about you? 
You: I’m fine, just studying.
Sam: oh, want me to leave you for a bit?
You: no, no, I’m done already. 
You: I wanna talk to you.
You: when are you free?
He usually opts to call at night, between ten and twelve before he has to go to sleep and it’s usually just half an hour, maybe an hour if he’s not too tired. He doesn’t say much about Dean or his Dad but at least you get some of him.
Sam: I can call you tonight.
You: okay, stay safe.
Sam: you too.
But then ‘tonight’ comes and it’s as silent as it was the night before, except last night you didn’t have a promise of a call. And you’re not even mad, you’re just worried— not worried enough to throw your dignity to the floor and call or text him yourself— but still pretty worried. 
It’s only eleven, maybe he’ll call later? 
He won’t. He doesn’t. But he texts good morning. The next damn day there’s a ‘good morning’ text right under your previous texts making plans to call.
So, like the petty person you are, because that is one trait you are not afraid to let shine, you don’t text back. You have classes all day, anyways, and it’s the last day before the long weekend, so it’s busy enough as it is without having to talk to Sam. Which you don’t have to worry about because he doesn’t want to talk to you anyways.
Except when he decides to talk to you. Except when he decides to text you at ten at night two days later, after not getting a response from you;
Sam: can we talk?
part seven: all my habits came back around.
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title: it’s ok, I’m ok by tate mcrae — (baby, don’t get it twisted)
can you tell I wouldn’t die in a horror movie with her finger on the emergency contact? one thing about me is I will not write a horror movie bitch no matter what the plot is, she will be calling the police/her mum the second there’s a sound‼️‼️
I’ll make a master list for remedy since I think there 2 chapters left maybe. this one is pretty cute to prepare you for the next one which is just angst at its finest. THEN THE LAST CHAPTER WHAT. okay I won’t get too excited since I’m not sure when I’ll be posting them yet but I hope you enjoyed this.
and I’ll fix the format for the rest of the chapters so that they’re like this one since this is the one I decided on. If u wanna be tagged comment or send me a message!!
tag list:
@angzls @chxrrybomb22 @pinkpantheris @ang3ldool @iloveragdollcats 
@oohjana18294 @user-2538484747490203746579403 @wattpaduser200 @s0urw00lf @ashlynyyyyy
@strabarrybat @anu-piyakya97 @tranquilitybasegrunge
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cillyscribbles · 18 hours
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my modern!cats au giving me, an avid non-smoker, thoughts about smoking and self image, of all things. i will put them under the cut, but meanwhile! enjoy this 1. shameless illustration of my own fic 2. tugger not quite loving the makeup (or costuming) of his poet-murderer role. (yes a local staging of roberto zucco changed my life, very nice of you to ask!)
so smoking bad etc etc don't smoke. anyway, all three brothers deuteronomy smoke, or at least have smoked for large chunks of their lives, albeit for wildly different reasons and standpoints.
munkustrap's been smoking since middle school, his start more or less aligning with the time period when old deuteronomy falls sick, grizabella ramps up her work, and munkustrap, at the ripe old age of maybe 14, starts managing the household and finances and whatnot.
he wishes he'd never started smoking, don't get me wrong. he wishes the relief of the thing wasn't worth it. he quits and starts again throughout the years, over and over and over, climbing into the third decade of the habit without being able to break it, never moving past the numbed feeling of failure for it. it's the one crack you'll occasionally catch in that aged picture of constant steadfastness and responsibility he's got going on.
to be unable to handle it all feels to him as good as giving up entirely. he smokes behind the school. he puts away the ashtrays when he has guests over. he doesn't like smoking with company, and he hates his shame being made known. if you'll allow me a pretentious second, it's sort of like an upward climb that he wants to take on alone so nobody else sees him stumble, and no one helps him if he twists an ankle. it's fine by him because he needs to be able to handle it himself. he needs to.
so. all this, versus tugger, who started well into adulthood and barrelled into it full and consciously. tugger, who smokes to replace sleep and sanity when his life runs on cigarettes and caffeine. but nothing more. he doesn't care to quit, he doesn't care to change. cigarettes look good between his fingers. he knows how to hold them pretty, like he knows everything else about himself that builds the picture he wants.
and, on a more interpersonal level, it upsets him that munkustrap is so acutely ashamed of it, the same way munkustrap is upset tugger is so casual about it. to some degree, though, i think that's because tugger's entirely hyperaware of how fragile life is and on how small a technicality shit can go sideways and end up killing him or anyone else. it's hard for him not to think about it. but it gives him some sort of strength to look for morbid humour in the things munkustrap wouldn't let himself laugh at, i think. it's gallows humour, to be fair, but it's good humour to tugger nonetheless. he finds stakes if not thrilling then certainly intriguing.
besides, making any sort of change to himself for other people, to tugger, is like betraying himself. he's built up that resistance to outside influence, and he's built it up hard and total. he doesn't mold, he doesn't bend, he'll do and look and say whatever he wants, he associates seeking validation strictly with misery. he doesn't understand munkustrap's frustration, or desire to please people, nor does he want to.
the thing with how tugger is, i think, is that he's just prodded at enough for both the street culture he grew up in and the inclination towards self-preservation of someone visibly queer to mesh together into something that can be spectacular and unmovable, and sometimes still turn ugly. i think curiosity is easy to push into cruelty with tugger.
shame is easy to mock for someone who's overcome it and tries hard to forget how insidious it can be. i think both munkustrap and tugger can be cruel to each other without wanting to and without really transgressing toward each other in a way that would dent their relationship, primarily because it's such a strong relationship but also because they're used to some sort of cruelty from the world at least, they just know better where to hit each other verbally to mess each other up. so. self-control, boys. comes to one of them easier than the other, LOL. and again, don't get me wrong. tugger doesn't want to be cruel to munkustrap, but it's not always a thing he can push away the instinct for. munkustrap doesn't want to be cruel to tugger, but he's been making hard decisions for ages and all but expects someone to be hurt by the end of it, and tugger is manageable. so. damn
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expectopatronum18 · 22 hours
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Hot take on Lily's characterization in this fandom
Ik I've written abt this before but I really cannot understand y this fandom insists on limiting lily's characterization to being good and right all the time and making the narrative sympathetic towards her even when she isn't coz ppl don't want haters for her. And this makes sense coming from the new marauders fandom coz they see all of their favs as incapable of being wrong. But I can't understand y the traditional marauders fandom acts this way too coz they tout themselves as being oh so progressive, but they write lily exactly the way rowling wrote her but in a different sense
Rowling wrote all the women in the franchise with the lens of what she sees as an 'ideal woman', but imo lily gets hit by this the most. She exists to further the narratives of other, more important characters, everything we ever hear abt her r positive attributes (harry goes thru tht phase in ootp where he realizes tht his father whom he looked up to so much was a flawed person, for whatever reason his mother is exempted from this), and the highlight of her life was dying for her son(despite the fact tht james did the same and we do know quite a bit abt him).
The conventional view of women has progressed beyond this now, but i d argue tht the underlying issue hasn't been resolved. I get tht fandom is a space for relaxation and fun, but then y do ppl hv a problem with lily being a tad bit flawed in a bad way when the boys r literally out there murdering each other and becoming fascists? The fandom sees her with the modern lens of what an ideal woman is(intentionally or unintentionally)- she's a perfect sjw who starts off with all the right values and has nothing to learn and grow from- she's an ideal feminist, she's always understanding, sympathetic and accepting, she accepts remus instantly, she's the moral voice in the marauders vs snape debate, she always stands up for the underdog, she doesn't let societal prejudices influence her views and waver her morals, etc etc. And while these r undoubtedly very fine qualities to hv, thts not how things work. Ur not being progressive by writing a woman who has no growing and learning to do like a normal person, and who's never allowed to be wrong in a way tht hurts others without making her sympathetic
Let lily be a catty bitch in a way tht can be interpreted as 'cheeky and vivacious' from an outsider's pov. Let lily not hv any proper female friends because she was a popular, well liked girl in high school who wasn't really a girl's girl. Let her be hated by ppl for reasons outside being a muggleborn and being friends with snape. Let her be friendless coz she's just a bad friend, she literally almost smiled when her best friend was being assaulted. Let her be homophobic coz it was the 70s and her social circle consisted of ppl lyk teenage snape and petunia. Let her not be accepting of remus immediately coz the whole ww was prejudiced against werewolves and she's new to it. There r infinite possibilities and none of them need to take away her good aspects in canon, much lyk they don't with the boys
LET HER BE FLAWED AND COMPLICATED AND CONTRAVESIAL COZ WHO CARES, SHE'S NOT FUCKING REAL
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joedirtymadre · 21 hours
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Honeymoon Phase
AIZAWA X READER! (FLUFF!) Hope you enjoy! (Accepting requests!!)
You laid across your couch, reading a new book you grabbed after work. You sighed to yourself, you tried to concentrate on your book, but couldn’t shake off your built up frustration… “Ughh, I’ve reread this page 4 times already and I don’t even know what it’s about!” You groaned as you tossed it onto the side table. You sat up and immediately began bouncing your leg, “It’s been 2 months… 2 whole months… I know the honeymoon stage dies, but this badly?” You sighed as you sat back.
You stared at your wedding photo of you and Shota, “We’ve always been obsessed with each other… but he’s died down drastically… in the span of 2 months. We’ve barely been married for a year and he’s already tired of me? I miss the nights he would…” you felt your cheeks burn as you would think back to those long nights. You stood up and walked over to your bathroom, staring into the mirror. You analyzed your face, body, and hair, “Maybe he thinks I’ve let myself go…” You said to yourself softly.
Suddenly an idea popped into your brain. “I’ll surprise him! Though he hates surprises… but it’ll be fine! Where’s my makeup?” You asked excitedly. Hoping you would finish your plan before he arrives home.
You raced to put on some light makeup, a nice black dress, and fixed your hair. You checked the mirror and nodded, “Now onto the kitchen!” you beamed as you raced over to throw on an apron. You decided to make some curry with rice. After cooking you set up the table and placed two hot plates on the table. You looked over at the clock and rushed over to throw your apron in the laundry room. With a minute to spare you topped off your glasses with some wine and stood excitedly by the door. 
Right on time your husband slowly opened the door, “I’m ho-” he stopped himself as he was surprised by your presence. “(Y/N)?” He asked, confused. “Hi honey,” you smiled. “Hey… what’s up with the get up?” He asked as he placed his stuff down. “I-I just wanted to look nice for y-you…” you trailed off. “Ah,” he nodded. “I also made some food,” you smiled excitedly. “Oh no thanks, I had a pretty big lunch at work so I’m not hungry,” he said as he put on his slippers and headed towards the restroom. “O-Oh…” you said softly. “I’m gonna go wash up,” he said as he shut the door behind him. “Kay…” you replied. You slowly walked over to the table and stared at the plates. 
You grabbed them and decided to toss the food in the garbage. “I’m not hungry either…” you whispered to yourself as you cleared the table. Once finishing you headed towards your bedroom to undress and remove your makeup. “So much for a surprise…” you sighed as you looked into your bedroom mirror and stared at your pajamas. 
You walked back to the living room seeing Shota lounging on the sofa reading a book. You decided to continue yours, you grabbed your book and sat on the opposite end of the couch. “Did you put the food into the fridge?” He asked. “No,” you replied. “Did you eat it all?” He asked. “I tossed it,” You responded, not once looking up from your book. “Huh? Why would you do that?” He asked. “You didn’t want it, I didn’t want it. Why wouldn’t I toss it?” You asked. “I would’ve taken it to work,” he replied. You glanced over to him, and noticed the perplexed look on his face. “I wanted to surprise you with a meal, you didn’t want the meal. So I got rid of it, I didn’t want to see it later and think of how you paid no mind to my efforts,” you said coldly. “Efforts? You’re not making any sense (Y/N),” Shota said as he inched closer. 
“What am I saying that’s making it so hard for you to understand? For the past 2 months I’ve received nothing from you, you’ve changed… You used to bring flowers, desserts, tell me I’m pretty, small things like that. But recently everything stopped, I thought I was the problem… Maybe I let myself get too comfortable or let myself go… so I wanted to surprise you, I got dolled up and made a nice meal for us to sit and catch up. But-... It’s fine, it doesn’t matter…” you explained. “(Y/N)...” you heard him trail off, you felt him move closer to you. But making sure you glue your eyes to your book. “(Y/N) please look at me,” he pleaded. “For?” You asked. “(Y/N), please,” he said softly. You knew he was sitting right next to you, you moved your eyes slightly towards him. “Yes?” You asked softly, hoping your voice doesn’t crack.
“I’m sorry… I’ve been so busy with work and the students that I didn’t notice you felt this way,” he said as he cupped your face. “I said it’s fine… Everyone says the honeymoon stage doesn’t last forever. Of course you’d eventually get tired of me,” you said softly as you stared into his eyes. “I would never get tired of you. Please forgive me, I didn’t mean to make you feel like I don’t care about you. You know I’m obsessed with you, I love you,” he said softly as he inched towards you. You placed your finger over his lips, “What makes you think I’ll give you a kiss? 2 months with no kissing, hugging, spooning, or…” you felt your ears burn red as you avoided his eyes. “I’m sorry, please forgive me. I want to make it up to you,” he smiled softly as he placed your hand in his and kissed it. 
“Hmph,” you turned your face, wanting to hide your blush. “Thank you for dinner, it looked delicious,” he smiled. “It did…” you replied. “And… you looked beautiful, I had to hide away in the restroom or else I would’ve…” he trailed off. “Huh?” You asked as you turned to face him. “Well you always look amazing, but you wore that dress I love. How else would you expect me to act, but normally I always keep my cool around you. I didn’t wanna scare you,” he replied as he cupped your face again. “You noticed? I was afraid you thought it was just any black dress,” you laughed. “Of course I noticed, but I’m sorry I didn’t notice how much I’ve been slacking these past few months. I’ll do better, starting now,” he said as he stood up. 
“Right now?” You asked. You watched as he extended a hand out to you, you slowly placed yours in his. He slowly helped you up, but you were soon tossed over his shoulder. “W-Wait! Shota?” You gasped. He then walked towards the kitchen table, “And we’ll be needing this,” he said as he grabbed a wine bottle. “Now let’s go,” he said. “Go?” you asked. “Yeah, you said I haven’t been showing you any attention for the past 2 months. Well I’ll make up for that, right now. Hope you’re ready (Y/N),” He said as he headed towards your bedroom. 
You felt your face burning. Feeling nervous for the night ahead, but you can’t lie to yourself, you’re also really excited for what’s about to come.  
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lowkeyrobin · 2 days
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hiii! hope you’re having a good day/night/whatever :D i was wondering if you could do something where the reader was fives (almost ?) s/o and then after learning about him and lila theyre upset. and then reader and diego sort of bond over the feeling and find solace in their friendship with each other. i mean this in like a thing for diego sort of way, the five thing is just a backstory. sorry if this is hard to understand english is hard
oooo okay this is cool!! ; and don't worry it's not hard to understand at all! your English is very good 🫶 ; but we are gonna pretend five wasn't trapped in his teenage body for all the time reader would've known him or wtv 💀 cause the physical and mental gap between diego and five is diabolical and idk how else to make it not weird. I usually say and enforce that I won't recognize the five/lila thing as canon but this is relevant to the story and I need diego requests lol. ; but uh yeah!! thank you for requesting, I hope you enjoy!! ; also the ending part lowkey sucks I'm sorry
DIEGO HARGREEVES ; it's called moving on
summary ; after Five and Lila get trapped in the subway, they have a double affair on you and Diego. after saving the world, you both bond over it and move on (to each other)
warnings ; language, cheating, arguing / physical fighting, knives, alcohol
disclaimers ; five is in the physical body of a 30-ish year old to make this not creepy as hell on any parts. I have a distinct hatred for whatever tf happened w Lila and Five so don't expect to see anything nice about them... ; also reader is a sparrow, didn't wanna get incest-y in here...
word count ; 1.5k
masterlist
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Klaus, Allison, and Luther sit on the couch, watching over the kids while you and Diego rush to the door. Five and Lila had been MIA for hours now, you were both growing worried. Luckily, it was them standing at the doorstep.
"Where've you been?" Diego asks, slightly worried. "It's been hours"
"Seven, at that" you raise an eyebrow at Five. "You've never just gone MIA for that long. Did you find anything out on how to stop all this shit? Cause we did"
Five is unable to look you in the eye. "Uh, not really. What'd you learn?"
"Well, for one, Dad's alive, so is our mother... I think?" you begin, pulling him inside. "She's not really our mom, but she's Dad's wife, or whatever. Our actual birth mother's are alive in this timeline. And your Ben died because your Reginald shot him in the head! We think fate is coming together cause my Ben and Jennifer are together and we have to stop them-"
Diego and Lila step in behind you, joining you all in the living room. Lila's family stand in the kitchen, coming together to make some Christmas dinner food for the upcoming days. You can't help but notice both Five and Lila can't look you in the eye, how they look tired and haven't spoken damn near a word.
You four stand in the middle of the living room, shoes off to Lila's family's rules, your socks digging into the carpet. Allison, Luther, and Klaus part their attention between the kids and you four.
Diego looks down at Lila's wrist, seeing a glare from the sunlight outside on something she was wearing. He quickly grabs her wrist, confused of what she could've been wearing, as she didn't like bracelets, at least not store bought ones. She wouldn't have gone on a run to get herself a bracelet, right? I mean, what?
Diego furrows his brows at her while you press a chaste kiss to Five's forehead.
"I thought you hated bracelets?" Diego mutters, grabbing the attention of the siblings who sit on the couch.
Lila looks at him with fake confusion, trying to brush it off. "No, I don't"
"Yeah, you do" Diego nods. "I got you one for Valentine's Day and you traded it in for a Dyson vacuum."
You and Five look to Diego and Lila, listening in.
Lila is silent. "I don't like store bought ones. I kept the bracelet you made for me in that mental institution"
She had him on that one.
"Who made it, then?" Diego asks firmly.
She's silent. Five looks away from Diego.
Diego looks to him, then back at Lila. He frees Lila's wrist from his grasp, staring Five down. You look between him, Diego, and Lila, connecting the dots.
"Five?" You question, eyebrows furrowed, your voice unsure.
Diego reaches for his back pocket.
Five stuffs his hands in his pockets, head held low.
"Is there something going on between you two?" Diego asks nervously, looking between Five and Lila.
"Diego-" Lila speaks
"Holy shit, wow" Diego scoffs, looking down at her.
Klaus' jaw drops, Luther and Allison beside him share shocked expressions. You look back at the three, unable to react as you're caught frozen in the moment.
"Woah"
"Holy shit"
"I didn't see that one coming"
"Holy shit, I was right" Diego looks between the two, "I knew you were cheating on me!"
You shove Five into the wall, far enough away from the TV and the kids to not effect them physically. Diego hurls a knife at him, just missing his skull by a few centimeters, a purposeful act. He merely did it to scare Five. The knife creates a hole in the wall and a loud thudding noise that catches the family's attention.
Diego turns his attention back to Lila, you looking over your shoulder to listen. "I knew you were cheating on me at that book club"
Lila sighs. "I wasn't cheating on you... not when you thought I was"
You turn back to Five, lips slightly parted, your expression soft yet heavy. He isn't able to speak a word to you. He steps away from the stabbed wall, walking toward you. He reaches for you and you push him away.
"Y/n-"
"No!" you shudder, then speak firmly. "Get away." you back away toward Diego, unable to look at him.
"Maybe we should go-" Luther speaks, seeing how the three were witnessing an awful thing right now.
"No, we're not going anywhere" Allison replies, an arm over him to prevent him from going anywhere.
Diego steps forward, looking at Five in the eye. "Five, did you s-k-r-e-w my wife?" he spells out 'screw' since a bunch of kids under thirteen sit no more than six feet away.
"Screw is spelled s-c-r-e-w" Grace chimes in with a smile, unaware of the situation because of her small little mind.
Klaus snorts, failing at holding back laughter. Allison bites her tongue while Luther deeply sighs, keeping his laughter at bay.
Five bites his lip before slowly nodding.
"What the fuck?!" you exclaim, slinging a quick punch to his face, causing his nose to bleed.
He groans, holding a hand to his nose. He doesn't rebute, knowing he deserved that and much more.
"Are you kidding me?" you question, looking between Five and Lila. "What the actual shit is wrong with you two?!"
Lila's family peers through the kitchen door, halfway understanding what you all were saying as they weren't perfectly fluent with English. You wished you could speak Punjabi to tell them how their daughter cheated and how your boyfriend was a fucking homewrecker.
"Y/n, please," Lila speaks, trying to calm you, holding a hand out to you.
You slap her hand away, and back up toward the siblings on the couch. Klaus holds a hand over his mouth, Luther watches in silence, Allison bites her tongue.
"You're fucking unbelievable."
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You cut contact with Five, Diego cut most contact with Lila and kept the kids 70% of the time. Lila paid child support, the extent of their conversations other than the kids.
It'd been a few years since your brother had to be killed. You'd been struggling a lot. In between Ben's death and the whole Five and Lila thing, you weren't okay, you didn't think you ever would be.
Most the family didn't talk to either one after the whole incident. They'd luckily sided with you and Diego. Allison still talked to Lila, but she'd created herself a whole new life, so the two didn't talk that much.
Life moves on, shit happens.
You lived near Diego, the two of you often going out with the kids to still create some sort of happy family dynamic for them. From lunch to movies, to road trips and rollercoasters, you'd do anything for those kids. You felt so bad knowing there was no way to repair Diego and Lila's relationship, wishing the kids got to have more time as a proper family.
Diego sat with you on the couch, no kids in trail this time. They were with Lila this weekend. Fruity concoctions rest in your hands, the television in front of you playing some dumbass action movie.
"People clearly don't like three children on the man they're going on a date with," Diego chuckles. "My kids come first, sorry."
You smile. "At least you're humbled and know what you're living for, what's important."
He raises an eyebrow, confused about what you're implying.
You see that look and clarify. "I dunno what I'm living for anymore. My brother's dead. My ex cheated on me and all I feel is fucking angry day in and day out. I don't know anymore"
Diego's face grows soft. "Moving on isn't easy."
You nod. "It's harder to do it alone"
He's silent for a moment before speaking up. "Maybe we don't have to do it alone?"
You raise an eyebrow. "What're you implying, Di?"
He shrugs, looking into your eyes. "Whatever you want to think I'm implying"
"...but the kids, that's gonna be so confusing-"
"You love the kids. I know you do. Otherwise, you wouldn't have been on all these adventures with us, you wouldn't have asked me yourself to make plans and come over. I know you feel the way I do."
You're both quiet, thinking over your own and the other's words.
"Maybe" you shrug.
"Maybe? I'm allowed to get my hopes up?"
"Calm down, pal" you chuckle. "Not so soon, let's like... ask the kids. I'd feel bad not asking how they felt. They're my priority, they come before us"
Diego nods. "Glad you feel that way. We should get married ASAP." he chuckles, nudging you with his shoulder.
You smile, taking a sip of your beverage. "Feels wrong to even think about this, y'know?"
"It's called moving on. It's normal, I promise"
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demigod-shenanigans · 8 hours
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Long overdue Pipeyna posting:
It’s the way they balance each other out and mirror each other.
I think a lot about what Piper said in regard to love and hate being almost identical emotions, neither of which can be reasoned with, and that being why Ares and Aphrodite like each other.
It’s about how they start out resenting each other—Reyna sees Piper as the person who took away her best friend. Piper sees Reyna as a threat to her relationship with Jason. Except that’s not the whole story, is it? Because Piper thinks about Reyna much more than she should. Much more than Jason does, honestly. And the second Reyna lets herself trust Piper, she trusts her fully. Like it’s the most natural thing in the world. And it startles her, because usually Reyna takes a long time to let people in. But the others join the fight and though Reyna’s eyes should be drawn to Jason, she finds them on Piper instead.
Reyna and Piper understand each other in a way only the child of a war goddess and the child of the goddess of love can. They’re two sides of the same coin.
Piper sometimes struggles with thinking she’s not especially useful in comparison to her friends who seem much more powerful, whose skills seem much more helpful in combat. Hell, she’s outright stated to be surprised Reyna and Annabeth find her diplomatic skills handy at the end of BoO.
A lot of Piper’s character centers around her feeling invisible—the first time we see this is with her dad, whose attention she keeps trying to gain with her stunts, except it doesn’t work. She stays invisible to him. And that can never change. Because once he sees her for who she really is, it breaks him, and she has to make the heartbreaking choice to ask him to look away again for his own good. Piper has a power that literally centers around her ability to make people look at her and listen to her, and yet she cannot keep the attention of her dad, and she doesn’t think it’s really enough to have earned a place among her friends.
But Reyna sees her, even without her charmspeak. Reyna looks at Piper and in her role as the child of a war goddess, what can she see except all the ways in which Piper is a warrior? All the ways in which Piper is capable and brave?
Reyna on the other hand struggles with her emotions and not being able to let other people in. She keeps her cards close to her chest because that’s the only way she knows to keep herself safe. Even when she loves, she loves in a way that’s subdued, because she was taught from a young age that love isn’t a thing that’s safe. Love locks you up at night because you’re a threat. Love is angry and dangerous and could get you killed if you slip up—if you say the wrong thing or move the wrong way or if it’s simply having a bad day. Love is a thing that at any given moment could explode in your face.
She doesn’t even share how her powers work because she’s afraid it might go wrong somehow if she does—that the others will feel like she’s somehow manipulating them instead of supporting them.
But Piper looks at Reyna and she sees right through her, sees all the ways she’s hurting and how exhausted she is, because with her powers, what can she see except Reyna’s emotions, no matter how tightly Reyna tries to keep them locked up?
Piper knew what Reyna’s power was without being told. She just sensed it and immediately understood how it worked and how it must drain Reyna. And Reyna feels briefly terrified when Piper brings it up because she always assumed people knowing would change their opinion on her. But Piper is only mentioning it because she’s worried about how those powers must affect Reyna. About whether she’s getting enough rest and has a shoulder to lean on about it all. And that’s never been anyone’s main priority before—especially not Reyna’s (something something Reyna being raised to protect New Rome. Her powers actively benefiting others while draining her. The way she’s never quite able to live for herself).
They instinctively see and feel drawn to the part of each other that other people struggle to see at all and it makes me a bit crazy actually.
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crispywizardtale · 2 months
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In light of the new Velma series
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mmm essay about sally and kid gort in the tags (cw for child abuse, mentions of suicide, animal cruelty and a murder attempt. i always hope i don’t have to say this but just in case: i don’t excuse or condone any of her or gort’s behaviour at all.) this is literally not even touching upon everything i have to say because i hit the fucking tag limit lmao. NOBODY READ IT’S BAD BRAINSTORMING I JUST NEEDED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW
#thinkin too much about gortie side characters again.#sally this time and why she specifically talks about him the way she does#like dravo is obviously still shitty but to me he was. ‘just ‘neglectful#while sally actively hated and even felt terrorised by her own child#like. it’s not like i don’t understand her at all.#imagine you and your love don’t have much besides each other and your shop and you get pregnant and ready to raise a child#only for it to not be a child he didn’t and doesn’t cry ever and he learns everything so much sooner than most but then he never calls you#his parents and it’s not just a petty thing kids do sometimes you feel that he doesn’t see you as family and the worst part is that you#agree deep down#and as he gets older he doesn’t have any friends and actively rejects the notion of the entire concept#but then as time passes you hear about how he has entire groups of children following him and then several of them commit suicide#and that thing coming to sit with you and dravo at the dinner table says that he did what you did last week when the axe to chop wood broke#and you discarded it and got a new one#and he has these habits of ripping out flowers and making sure that they don’t regrow#and then you hear rumours about a friend’s daughter’s cat disappearing and think nothing of it#until you visit his tree house a month later and find a declawed cat and birds with clipped wings and crushed bugs that he keeps fondly#and then you see him with other children and they don’t know and his face is different and body language is entirely different#and were it not for the fact that you know better you would never see anything but a normal child#and you know that you are one who painstakingly brought this thing that should not be into the world and so you decide to end it all one da#and go to him as he’s asleep with the knife shaking in your hand#but he cries when you’re above him! screams at the top of his lungs!#so you beg for forgiveness even though you don’t deserve it through tears but as soon as the knife is put away you see the act drop and fee#his clever fingers having twisted your brain inside and out and you know that you can do nothing#and so the opportunity arises to at least remove him out of your life if not everyone’s lives and you take it immediately.#but you heard him talk. how he will close his fist around the world one day. and you know that it is not a matter of if but when.#like. imagine that. jesus dude.#like i hc her as someone that is messy and does not know a lot about life and she certainly wouldn’t have been a good mother but the love#or at least desire to love is there somewhere. and believing that having a child is really the only somewhat meaningful thing she can do#with her life. she’s not some hero or rich or anything of note. so there’s a lot obligation and not genuine desire for family here.#but she never really got the chance to be an actual mother in the first place so. who knows what that might have looked like
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fisheito · 3 months
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@bad-theory say sike right now bro i always wished to be powerful enough to . influence someone's Affection Levels for a Character like that 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
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Phullo it is I again!
I am very glad that you actually responded and given me an actual advice since I was worried about the question I sent you.
Though besides that I have another question for you (hoorayyy)!
So, about the reading books earlier- I’m fortunately a bookworm too! It’s just that I notice I prefer reading the genre science fiction/psychological horror more than… anything else!
And while the books I am currently reading, ‘Flowers For Algernon’ and ‘I’m Thinking Of Ending Things’ (these books are seriously so wonderfully made they make want to tear my walls), DO have romantic aspects of it- it’s not really the main plot of the story..
‘Flowers For Algernon’ has amazing storytelling and is very unique- though I’m not sure if you’ve read it before but, it’s actually just the main character taking notes. Hence why there was a lot misspellings which honestly makes it a great touch if you know the context behind it.
On the other hand, ‘I’m Thinking Of Ending Things’ too shares the same uniqueness as the other, possibly even more unique if I must say so myself. Though I REALLY don’t want to make my story similar to them since I want to make it more heart warming than fucked up..
Which is why I feel like I have the need to borrow or buy at least one romantic book because, I lack of it. I mean I accidentally borrowed it one time but it was kind of disappointing.
I don’t know if its a good idea and if I should do it or not since does it really matter of the genre, or just the writing?
Still, if you have any good books that are in the romance genre. Feel free to recommend some to me!
-lots of love, from another bookworm
welcome back! happy to hear you're a bookworm as well <3 im writing those titles down since i read a criminal lack of sci-fi despite loving it
i actually don't have any straight up romance recs - i don't actively search it out (outside of fanfic), so any romance i read just comes with whatever book i've picked up. just straight up romance bores me, unless its a fic with a pairing i actively like. and even then, i need to take breaks from it unless the romance is interspersed with an actual plot. im not a romantically-geared person! i dont have single Main Plot Is Romance book on my shelves!
but imo its really just the quality of writing that helps. ive never been in a romance, im the child of two different divorces, and yet ive been told that i write romance fairly well. go fuckin figure lmao.
so actually my advice on romance is to just like. wow idk what i do is pick apart the romances i see on tv / in writing. what makes them good together, how do they act around each other, what are their love languages, what's their dynamic, what traditional romance things do they partake in, what dont they partake in, do they have anything nontraditional, do they work and why do / they dont they - does that make their relationship more interesting or is it flat. are they a good match.
you don't have to have every answer, but ive found that at least understanding their characters / dynamics, and having them interact in a way that suits them will help your romance feel natural. dont conform to tropes or tradition, that will just make the relationship flat and unrealistic. and you can always sprinkle in little things that you like / would like, which will help ground the romance and get you into the groove
tldr with romance, i think it's better to observe real life (whether that's paying attention to couples or reading reddit threads) & analyze in-love or in-a-relationship characters instead of just reading romance novels. bc honestly, and from what i can tell, they can tend to be over the top or cookie cutter
just realized you did not explicitly ask for romance advice! Oopsie! i got a little carried away here....
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realbeefman · 1 year
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Ever just have a screaming fit about ptsdee (and nightman cometh, and missing out on childhood so you go see a robot’s boobs) and Charlie/Dennis feeling connected over suffering ‘real trauma’ the others haven’t, but also absolutely never admitting What Happened?
LITERALLY EVERDAY CONSTANTLY THEY HAUNT MEEEE.
PTSDee is one of my favorite episodes because I just absolutely love episodes that explore the gang’s trauma through absurd hijinks (dee’s self esteem issues n mac n frank daddy issues exploration r also favorites of mine) but charlie & dennis’ connection is just soo special and i love the way it’s portrayed. they’re such different people but the way they can see through each other’s denial and bullshit to recognize the specific ways that each of them was hurt KILLS me. they can only truly comprehend and try to process That Thing That Never Happened through projecting onto each other it’s so tragic. Real Recognizes Real and such… the charden worms in my brain r wriggling so fast rn AUGH
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nocusbonkus · 1 year
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Recently discovered that there are people that ship dbhks ONLY within fanon, which is so wild to me because I personally think that so much of their appeal is within their canon!
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