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summernightslulibabee · 2 years

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Summer Nights - (Solangelo Fanfiction) - Chapter Two: sex and promiscuity

Will

There's really no reason to be dramatic. I mean, fainting? Come on.

So what, we hooked up? He squealed and ran out of the room before we actually fucked. I don't understand the big deal. I've slept with a few guys from school before, and none of them ran out on me right beforehand. If he wanted to stop, he could have just said that. I'm not an animal.

To be honest, I never really noticed Nico di Angelo that much. He was always just that really smart, try-hard kid. The only time he spoke was to give long-worded answers to our teacher's questions which made everyone roll their eyes. You can tell he really likes to hear, "Why can't you all be like Nico?"

I hate teacher's pets.

I never picked up on the fact that he was gay until the party. See, that's how most dudes come out to me—behind closed doors while we're both tipsy. It's a common theme, really. It's a surprise I haven't been outed yet, but I guess people are too scared to say anything. I suppose my father's status can actually count for something.

And most guys just like to forget about it, anyway. At least until I get a random text message at 3 AM asking, "U up?" Of course, I'm always happy to help a friend in need.

I truly don't believe in the ramifications of sex. It's a momentary fleeting feeling of euphoria, and that's all we really want at the end of the day. I don't catch feelings, I don't care for the monotony of relationships, and I especially don't care for other's opinions of when and who I should fuck.

In a school mostly funded by religious organizations, I've heard all the speeches about waiting until marriage, treating your body with respect, or whatever. I say those stick-up-their asses sons of bitches never fucking came in their life. Or, perhaps, they're just projecting their sexual desires onto underaged kids. In which case, Christians have a lot to explain. Again.

I shouldn't be too surprised. While my friends and I sat in the back of the auditorium making fun of the talkers, the few times I looked to the front row at Nico, only to see his eyes were glued on them, nodding intently as if he was really believing every word. No wonder he freaked himself out. Who takes notes at a "wait-till-marriage" speech? Fucking weirdo.

He basically proved to me that "wanting" to preserve the "sanctity of marriage" was just a whole load of repressed, heteronormative bologna. Most of the time it's just compensating, and the shit could burst if you even attempt to poke at it.

I made the first move, sure. But he kissed back, and then climbed onto my lap, and tore off my shirt, and moaned every time I kissed his neck, and sucked me off. Obviously, the kid's embarrassed. If he wants to pretend it never even happened, that's fine with me. I couldn't care less. But fainting? My god.

Now I'm on the ground, trying to lightly slap his face in annoyance before the boss's assistant comes down. "Wake up," I whisper. "Wake up, wake up, wake up, stupid!"

He's out cold. Ugh.

"You're going to blow this thing for the both of us," I sigh. My hand tingles. In the distance, I can hear footsteps. Well, he can't be mad at me for this.

I rear my hand back and slap him across the face. He jolts awake, sitting up and out of my hands, immediately bringing his palm to his cheeks. His eyebrows furrow in confusion. "Did...you...just hit me?"

I roll my eyes. "Get up, man," I snarl, straightening my legs. He's wearing his usual black-fitted shirt. I offer him a hand but he stares at it like it's burned and shriveled. He backs away from me quickly, almost tripping over a fake plant. Then, he seems to regain himself, pushing off the ground. He still keeps his distance, trying hard to look away from me. Dork.

The door clicks open and a man walks in. He's got short blonde hair and he's wearing a purple shirt tucked into khakis. He's not so bad looking. "My name's Octavian," he sighs. "And you two must be the Goode interns."

"Yes sir," Nico says as if he's in boot camp.

"Sir is so formal," Octavian rolls his eyes. Nico's face goes red as his lips press together in confusion. "You're both 18, right?"

We nod.

"Great," he says. "Well, you two will be working for the Orange team. They handle politics. They're stationed upstairs. You shouldn't be able to miss it. You do whatever they say."

"We'll get to write our own pieces, right?" Nico nervously asks.

Octavian smirks with a darkness. "I'm sure you can try to contribute. Just remember your place."

The boy's eyes are wide with a blush still present across his cheeks. This whole thing doesn't really bother me. My dad makes me go to fancy dinner meetings all the time with more prestigious, stuck-ups, so I guess I'm prepared.

Octavian unsheathes a camera from a bag, removing the cap from the lens. "Stand there," he directs me. I do what he says as he snaps a picture. He turns to Nico. "You. There."

I step out of the way as he takes a step into the spot I had been in. Then, he trips on the rug below and slips, and I catch him out of reflex. He's seriously clumsy.

He scrambles out of my arms and stands. Octavian seems unimpressed. "You must be a good writer, kid," he sighs, snapping a picture. He sets the camera down and pulls out his phone. "My room number's out on the bulletin board. Don't call it. Now, I'm sure you two can find your way, right?"

Nico's mouth falls open, but before he says anything stupid, I step in. "Definitely. Thanks, Octavian."

Octavian nods as I turn, leaving Nico behind me. He catches up quickly behind me.

"How. The. Hell. Are. You. Here?"

"I sucked off the boss, isn't it obvious?"

"Not funny. You cheat on every essay. There's no way you were accepted based on your originality or skill," Nico struggles to catch up as I walk up the clear stairs leading to the second floor. "Daddy's money?"

"You guessed it," I roll my eyes.

"You walk so fucking fast," Nico gasps for air. "Listen, I actually worked hard to be here. I really don't need an incompetent jock screwing up everything."

"I seem to recall you being the one who was 30 minutes late and passed out on the floor. How's that for incompetent?" My eyes trace over the second floor. There's glass offices everywhere, people throwing around ideas, chewing on the ends of their whiteboard markers, and there hardly seems to be a dress code—in fact, the edgiest clothing seemed to be more encouraged. How the hell are we supposed to know where the Orange team is located?

"That's all your fault."

I stop and turn towards him. "My fault?"

"I was drunk—"

"So was I," I narrow my eyes at him. "Is this really what this about? You're still thinking about the party?"

His back straightens and he scrunches up his nose as if he's slightly offended. "I—what? We..."

"So what?" I cross my arms and bend slightly to his height, getting in his face. "I don't care if you sucked my dick, if that's what you're talking about."

Nico plops a hand directly onto my mouth, looking around nervously. "Are you crazy? Don't say that out loud," he lets out frantically.

I roll my eyes and peel his hand away. "Can you be mature for once and just get over it? I couldn't fucking care less about what happened. So stop acting like a complete dork before you get the both of us fired. Understand?"

"Don't tell me what to do," Nico growls.

"You're pathetic," I look up when I see a girl with an orange shirt walking towards one of the rooms in the back. I back out of his face and begin my way towards her, walking pass multiple offices. Nico keeps a steady pace behind me, making sure to hang back. At this point, he feels like a chihuahua yapping at my feet.

I see her slip into a room with a few other people wearing orange, and follow in after. Nico fumbles with his fingers awkwardly. I want to reach out and slap them and tell him to stop being such a weirdo. There are 3 young adults, one sitting in an office chair, yelling at two people who stand at the whiteboard.

"The progressives were born from populism," a guy with curly black hair, sitting on one of the beam bag chairs, rubs his forehead. "But they were all wealthy, white people who suspected that the little guys would overthrow them if they didn't get in control of their movement."

"And I think that's exactly how we could tie them to modern-day liberals," responds a girl with dark eyes and pale brown hair. She puts her hands on her hips accompanied with an angry pout. "Basically rich people taking the ideas of the working class and acting like they're our friends. But they aren't! They benefit just as much from the little guy's suffering as the rich conservatives do."

"Seriously, Clarisse?" Another girl sips from her coffee cup, swinging in her office chair. "We're already a progressive magazine, we don't need to lose the liberals like we've lost conservatives. Plus, most of them are the ones funding our column."

They continue bickering back and forth, the room rising into a roar. They obviously don't notice us, or don't care to.

Well, here goes nothing.

"If you guys are going to connect modern politics to a time such as the progressive movement, perhaps you should have a base reason for doing so," I say. "And more sources."

Nico slams his hand onto his face.

They go quiet as their heads snap towards me.

"Who the hell are you two?" Asks Clarisse.

"We're the interns from Goode," I inform them. "I'm Will. This is Nico."

Clarisse raises her chin. The boy with curly black hair steps up. "And you," he looks at Nico next to me. "What do you think?"

Nico lowers his hand, his eyes wide, and his cheeks red. "H-huh? What do I think?"

"I do believe you're the one I asked," he frowns.

"W-well, uh, I—" he clears his throat. "I agree that while making a statement about how, uh, liberals can often be blind to the actual issues of working class Americans, they um...they also do a lot to help and it would be a blanket statement to say that not all of them do."

"Okay," the girl in the chair tilts her head to the side. "But what do you think?"

Nico blinks in confusion. "I just said—"

"You shouldn't make a decision yet," I sigh. "You might have made assumptions that make sense but all of your computers are shut. The whiteboard has no written notes down. I don't see any printed out sources or studies. It wouldn't be smart to write a column this empty handed. This is a test, right?"

Nico looks to me quizzically, tilting his head to the side.

Clarisse sighs and sets down her marker. "You got us."

The girl in the office chair stands up suddenly, marching over to me. She bends over and looks at my pass. "Will Solace. Of course you would know business tricks. You're Allistair's kid," she stands back up. "My name's Chris. That's Beckendorf over there."

"I'm confused," Nico says.

"It's a tactic to see if we're perceptive," I respond to him. "And if we'll be brave enough to speak our minds. My father pulls it all the time."

"So I'm guessing I failed?"

"Not entirely," shrugs Chris. "There is no failing. Besides, you tried to please all of us. But there's no need to, little guy."

Nico's lip twitches at 'little guy', but he chooses not to say anything.

"We read the both of your entries," says Clarisse. "They're not bad. You guys are good thinkers."

"I'm appreciative of the opportunity to be here," Nico speaks up, swallowing hard.

Behind them, the door peels open. In steps a girl with long black hair and an angry stare. She crosses her arms. "Are those the interns?"

Chris sighs and straightens her back. "Their names are Will and Nico. Guys, this is Drew. She's head of the team."

She turns to stare the both of us down. "Oh, good. You can go run and get coffee."

"They're here to be the teen voice of the column, Drew," Clarisse bites.

"Hm. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," she flips her hair, "after a Grande, iced, sugar-free, Vanilla Latte with soy milk."

She digs into her purse and the card flies up. I want to say something to her rude ass, but Nico quickly grabs it. "Yes ma'am!" He says before rushing out of the door.

Was he seriously trying to turn this into a competition?

I follow out after him. He's walking with a vengeance. "Christ, will you slow down?"

"Fuck off, Will!" He pushes down the stairs. "I'm going to bring her the coffee before you can!"

"You're so immature!" I whisper-shout.

"I'll show you immature, jerkwad!"

"It's not a competition—"

"Fuck. You!"

"My God," we jog out of the front door of the building, "had I known you were going to act like a child afterwards, I would have never let you suck me off."

"Oh my God! Stop saying that!" Nico puts his hands over his ears.

"Would you prefer blowjob?"

"I'm trying to forget I ever did anything with you, okay?" Nico's face is beet red as we wait at a traffic light. "It doesn't fit into my plan."

"Holy fucking shit. You have your sex life planned out? You're such a nerd."

"I—no! It's not like that!" Nico buries his face in his hands. "I'm not the person who sleeps around, and I definitely would never sleep with you."

"You almost did."

"And I regret it!"

"You seemed pretty into it," I shrug. I can practically see smoke shooting from his ears. "I certainly remember how you told me to pull your hair, bite your neck—"

"Shut up!"

"Mmm, and how you pulled off my shirt—"

"Shut. Up!" We were starting to get weird stares. Something about seeing him mad made me want to continue.

"I also seem to remember how you wrapped your legs around my waist," I say. "And how you were begging for me to fuck—"

He turns suddenly, his hand flying up and the next thing I know, a pain explodes on my cheek. He presses his lips together, his eyes wide, staring at his hand. He looks back at me in shock.

"N-now we're even," he blinks, marching down the crosswalk. I follow behind him.

"You know, slapping's kind of a turn on for me."

"You are so perverted! I wish I never went to that party," Nico groans. He throws open the door to Starbucks and marches in angrily. He slams his hands on the counter and stares at the worker. "Grande, iced, sugar-free, Vanilla latte with soy milk," he forces a smile and a kind voice, but an eyebrow is twitching.

The worker seems slightly frightened but nods slowly. "Right. Gotcha," he throws up finger-guns.

"I thought you wanted to forget about it too," Nico mumbles.

"I would have if you were a decent person," I sigh. "But you've made it onto my bad side."

Nico pouts. "You never answered me on how you got the internship," he crosses his arms defensively. "You don't do any work in class."

I look directly at him. "Do you really equate grades to intelligence?"

"I can equate it to work ethic."

"Yeah, well, you wanna know why you didn't pick up on the trick they pulled on us?" I ask. He blinks quickly. "It's because you don't have a single original thought in your head. I'm sure you can name off every single president and their election years and their tragic backstories, but you don't have an opinion. You regurgitate what you read, but you don't know why you think that, only that you should. Maybe I'm not book smart, or care to be, but what else do you know about being a teenager when you can't even handle a couple of drinks? I have experience, Nico. I have opinions because I've been surrounded in politics since I was born and I know what it's like to be young because I don't coop myself in my room memorizing the fucking periodic table. That's what I wrote about and that's what got me picked. So, why don't you get off my back and let the adults handle all of this?"

Nico looks slightly offended, trying to hold up in his chin in defense of his own feelings. I was used to people going silent whenever I addressed this. Everybody needs a humbling sometimes. I'm always happy to give one.

Then he mumbles, "You know what? Fuck you. I'm going to have so much experience this summer you won't believe it."

"W-what?"

"You heard me," he stomps up to me. The Starbucks worker nervously sets down the coffee and creeps away. "You can't scare me away, Solace. Not like you do everybody else at school. I'm going to make your life a living Hell."

I squint my eyes at him. "Pardon?"

He pops his knuckles and keeps my gaze. It's true what they say about short people having a secret rage inside of them. "I've worked hard to be here," he sticks his finger into my chest. "So fuck you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to take this latte to our team captain."

He turns on his heels and struts out of Starbucks, the coffee clenched in his hands.

Who the fuck does he think he is?

The rest of the day was Drew sending us on wild goose chases, keeping us busy running her errands for us. The entire time, Nico was trying to prove he was better than me.

I was thankful when the day finally ended. I felt drained of energy. And I'm not even getting paid for this shit.

The sun melts around the horizon, cascading a golden glow onto every person, place, and thing in the near vicinity. The trees fall dark against the sky, creating a perfect silhouette. I like this part of the drive.

The sunset is always behind me when I turn into my neighborhood, which is slightly disappointing. The gate attendant waits for me and automatically recognizes the car. He waves to me through the window before pressing a button. I wave back before driving in. The houses pass me, over and over, growing bigger in size, until I make it to the end.

My gut tightens as I pull into the driveway. Dad and mom are both home. I prefer being home alone, but it's fine. I push my car door closed and jog up the platform, pulling my key out from my pocket and twisting. Slowly I walk down the hall, all the way into my dad's office. I pop my knuckles and slide into one of the office chairs. He sits at his desk, his glasses on the tip of his nose, and his lips tightened.

"How was it?" He asks.

"It was good," I say. "They pulled the observant trick."

"And did you pass?"

I let a smirk play against my lips. "Of course."

"Good, good," he raises an eyebrow and closes his laptop, staring down at me. "Are you going to start writing soon?"

I shrug. "Hopefully," I tell him. "Today we were just running around doing errands."

"We?"

"The other student who was chosen," I slowly say. "Nico di Angelo."

"Oh. That one," his lips press together lightly. "He was oddly persistent when he heard the company was buying and rebuilding the park. He and his two friends, that is. They cried gentrification."

"So...he's also writing for the political column?"

I nod slowly.

He pulls off his glasses and tosses them across the desk, slouching and rubbing his temples. "Of course this has to happen," he groans.

"And I'm proud of you for that, son," he sighs. "I know you aren't keen on writing for the topic."

I shrug and slump in my chair.

"Still, keep a close eye on him," he folds his hands. "On Friday, I'll be announcing that I'm running. Press will be there. You'll be prepared, right?"

I gulp and nod. "Y-yes."

"Good," he takes a deep breath and runs his hand through his hair. "And don't let the news leak. I can't have any protestors."

I nod again. "Yes, dad," I say. "You can trust me."

"And...also," he narrows his eyes at me. "We're both under the same understanding about your personal actions, right?"

I swallow the bubble in my throat. "Yes. I'm over it."

"You're a good kid, Will," he clears his throat. "Now that I'm running for mayor, our looks and how people perceive us matters. I think press would like to see that I've raised you right. Maybe we could see a woman on your arm by Friday?"

My eyes flicker up to meet his. His eyes are hard and cold, his eyebrows folded in angrily.

"Dad," I whisper breathlessly, almost begging.

"You're over it, aren't you?" He asks.

He knows I'm just saying that to make him feel better. I don't know why he has to push.

"It's just..."

"Don't disappoint me, Will," he pushes out from his desk. "You're the oldest. Your siblings look up to you, and I count on you to set a good example."

"Okay," my eyes dart to the floor. "I understand."

"You make me proud," he pats my shoulder.

I force a smile and head up to my room. I love my dad, but he really knows how to piss me off. Obviously I don't expect to be pushed in the closet forever but..

I slam my door close and collapse on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. He's under a lot of stress. He's always been. Running for mayor is gonna be even worse. Then I'll really be walking on eggshells.

My phone buzzes.

I turn on my side, typing in my passcode, and opening it to my text messages app. It's a text from Travis Stoll.

wanna come over?

I could use a stress reliever. And to hell with my dad. Even if I couldn't say that to his face.

i'll be there, I press send and stand, stretching out my arms. I seriously don't know where Travis has been, but I also don't care. I slide on my jacket and dig in the pockets. Where the fuck is my condom?

And then I remember.

"I don't think about you all," Nico had said. He was wearing all black and eyeliner was running down his face. His hair was roughed and fluffy and smelled like hairspray. Something about it was actually kind of hot.

"You'd be the first," I challenged his gaze.

He seems slightly surprised, but his face lingers in curiosity. He was definitely picking up on the flirting. "You're...confusing," his eyebrows fold in.

"Not entirely," I said.

"Why are you hiding in here?" He asked, slowly approaching the bed. He sat down next to me.

It was most likely the drinks, but I felt compelled to tell him. "Sometimes it's overwhelming," I explained. "Pretending to be someone you aren't for the sake of others."

Nico twisted a piece of hair around his finger, his eyes focused in on the action. "I understand," he answers slowly. "It must be tiring. At least I don't have the city's attention on me."

I leaned back. "And Percy? You like him, or something?"

His face plastered red, and it wasn't just because he was drunk. "I-uh, yes," he drops his shoulders. "I'm in love with him."

I snickered. "Love? Do you even know him?"

His eyes widened in defense. "I-yes, I know enough."

"Ever heard of the term infatuation?"

"So what if we hardly talk? I can just feel it," he crossed his arms. "Not that you'd know anything about that."

"Not to burst your bubble, or anything, but he's straight," I sighed.

"You're a douchebag," Nico angrily grunted through his teeth. But his eyes were on mine.

"Hey, if you truly want to believe in love, go for it," I shrugged and put my hands up in surrender. "but look where it's gotten you."

"Jesus, are you always like this? I don't even know how he could stand to be friends with a person like you," he crossed his arms and looked off.

Oh, shit. Sometimes I go too far.

He turned, his eyes twinkling. "What do you do when you like someone but they don't like you back?"

"I don't have that problem," I say. He narrows his eyes at me. "Joking. Uh, I don't know. Move on?"

He rolled his eyes. "Move on," he buried his face in his palms. "I hate almost everyone, and they hate me. It's not so easy to just...move on in a place like this."

I don't know what came over me, but I could feel myself being pulled towards him. Maybe it was to get him to stop feeling bad. Maybe it was because he looked so fucking hot in this new look. Maybe it was the drinks. Maybe it was all of the above. But I placed my hand under his chin, turning his face towards mine, and leaned over, connecting our lips.

At first, he didn't know what to do.

"I'll help you move on," I slurred against his lips. "If you want."

I pulled away and met his eyes, almost immediately regretting what I just did. He stared at me with a gaping mouth and wide, expectant eyes. He didn't have to look so damn shocked.

Then, the next thing I know, he pounced, straddling my lap.

And well, things progressed.

I don't even know why I'm thinking about this. Oh, shit. Condoms.

I turned and retrieved some from my end table, heading out the door. As I head down the stairs, I turn and yell out, "Going to Piper's!"

And no protest.

—

I pull up my jeans, standing next to the messy bed. The pillows were thrown on the ground and Travis sits with a blanket covering up his lower half. He strokes the empty spot next to him. "I don't care for pillow talk," I grimace. "You called me here for sex."

He crosses his arms. "Is it bad to want to spend time with you?"

Travis rolls his eyes and stands up, pulling on a t-shirt. "I forgot," he presses his lips together. "I'm just a bag of meat to you."

"You invited me over here," I stand. "And no, you're not just a bag of meat. But you know what I want."

"I want you," Travis states with a pout.

"Too bad," I slide on my hoodie.

"So unattainable," he walks over to me and slaps my cheek. "Only makes me want you more, my dear."

I peel his hand away. "You hate relationships too, Travis."

"I do not! I'm just not good at them. But I wish you would get over that stupid belief that love means nothing to you," he walks to his dresser. "Even if it's not me, someone's eventually gonna figure out how to melt that cold heart of yours."

"Doubtful."

Travis picks up a sock. "And to think I douched for you."

I smirk. "See you later, Travis."

"I'm never texting you again!" He yells as he enters his bathroom.

"You said that last time!"

The next day, I check in at the receptionist, and head upstairs to the office. My mind wasn't really thinking much, only that I was slightly drained from the work of yesterday. Then, I walked into the office, to see the team all laughing and talking, coffees in their hands. In the middle of the room stood a skinny boy wearing all black.

He turns around when he hears me walk in. His dark hair is fluffed out and a loose MCR shirt hangs from his shoulders over black skinny-jeans and chains. There's a light layer of eyeliner smudged around his eyes.

"You've got to be kidding me," I sigh.

"Hello, Will," Nico smiles devilishly. "Shall we begin?"

#Summer Nights Solangelo #summer nights fanfiction #summer nights solangelo fanfiction #summer nights last summer #last summer series lulibabee #summer nights lulibabee

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9tzuyu · 3 years

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who you are

note: mostly made this for my own comfort, but i do hope it helps and/or comforts any fellow lesbians :]. i normally wouldn’t specify sexualities on any characters because obviously everyones going to feel differently about different characters, but like i said this started off for my own comfort bcs i was hashtag goin through it.

prompt: basically just reader struggling to accept themselves as a lesbian. sorry non lesbians :(

warnings: heavy heavy heavy on internalized lesbophobia. talks about comphet (trying to force oneself to like men) and wanting to be ‘normal’

thank u ally for proofreading <3

not tagging anyone just because i don’t want to trigger :[

. . .

you were wrestling with something, natasha could tell that much. your eyebrows were drawn together, eyes lost in a gaze. it wasn’t until the third time tony called your name when you snapped out of it.

“sorry,” you mumbled.

“well are you going to answer the question?”

natasha noted the tapping of your foot, knuckles cracking beneath the table. it was obvious you weren’t in the right state of mind to be answering any kind of question. foolishly, no one else picked up on that except for the redhead.

“what was the question?”

tony sighed, his patience growing thinner by the second.

“i asked if your report was done. it was supposed to be handed in three days ago, remember?”

your foot tapped faster.

“yeah- yeah, i’m almost finished.”

it wasn’t like you to be so late on things like this, you were usually on top of everything.

“you told me you would have it ready by today. this is the fourth time this month that you’ve done this. you’re dragging your ass and the rest of us are getting pretty tired of it.” a collective agreement could be heard from the team. all eyes were on you waiting for a reply.

if you hadn’t felt anxious before, you most definitely did now.

“it won’t happen again.” tony blew off your statement and rolled his eyes. you shifted uncomfortably, nauseous from all the negative attention.

you couldn’t help but wonder if they knew. maybe that’s why they were being so short. it made sense after all.

natasha tried making her way towards you, but she was stopped by steve’s hand on her shoulder. you were well past gone by the time she managed to scramble away from him.

your back pressed flatly against the wall, tears steadily falling down your face. hatred was all you felt. hatred towards yourself.

why couldn’t you be like the rest of them? why didn’t you belong?

whywhywhywhywhywhy

granted, you knew there was absolutely nothing wrong with being gay. that was never the issue. the issue was the fact that it was yourself, that there was no possibility for you to ever be attracted to men.

you were sure it would be a phase, that it would pass, that you would forget about it and never think about it again. you tried to go on dates, tried to form a relationship, tried to enjoy having sex with them. none of it worked, no matter how much you forced yourself to believe it would.

all you could think about was how sick and disgusting you felt. and the shit representation didn’t help your case at all. the media hardly ever portrayed a good, well-rounded lesbian character that wasn’t problematic, over-sexualized or dead.

the media only reiterated the fact that you were supposed to want men. you were supposed to find the right guy and fall in love with him, call him your husband and start a family.

a knock on your door pulled you away from your thoughts. you shuffled your way back to your feet, drying your eyes for good measurement.

natasha stood patiently, eyes drilled on your doorknob. if it were up to her she’d be picking your lock, but she knew that would be crossing a boundary. she went to knock again when your door swung open.

“hi nat.”

“hey,” her voice was soft. “you’ve been crying...” she pressed her hand against your face, thumb rubbing the top of your cheekbone.

you shrugged. it wasn’t like you could deny her, your red eyes had already given away the truth. “yeah.”

she hummed, “may i come in?”

you hesitantly moved out of the way to let her through, cursing at yourself for finding her so attractive.

“you know you can talk to me, you always do. why haven’t you said anything?” natasha moved to sit on the edge of your bed. “you’ve grown quiet these past few days, it’s not like you.”

“i’m just tired, worn out from work i suppose.”

she nodded, though she knew better than to believe such a lie. natasha could always tell when you were lying, something you both hated and loved at the same time.

you sat next to her after a friendly tap on the bed. her gaze made you feel like a little kid in trouble. it was as if she already knew and was prepared to say the worse.

“i don’t believe you.”

“well, i don’t know what you want me to tell you, nat.”

“how about the truth?” you scoffed purely out of defense. “and what good would that do?”

“it might relieve whatever you’ve got on your heart.” you met natasha’s eyes and your lip immediately began to quiver.

“i’m afraid you won’t be able to look at me the same.”

she softened, taking your hand in hers. “there’s nothing in the world that would change the way i see you.”

“you say that now, nat, but-”

“i wouldn’t say it if i didn’t mean it.”

you thought about it further. natasha had never been one to judge someone based on the things they’ve been through, the things they’ve done or the things that make them who they are. she saw people the way they were, nothing more, nothing less.

but what if she didn’t like you or see you the way you were? you weren’t sure you could handle the aftermath if that were to be the case. it was bad enough you struggled to accept yourself, natasha’s disapproval would only break you.

“i’m a lesbian.” a lump in your throat began to form and you found yourself crying once more. “i tried so hard, i tried everything i could think of, but i can’t, i don’t like men.”

you coughed, choking on your words.

“i don’t understand, nat! i don’t understand why i can’t be normal. why can’t i do it? if i just liked men i would be okay, i would be fine, i would be fucking accepted.” you paused for a breath of air. “i just want to be normal.”

natasha was taken back by your confession. it was nothing near what she thought it would be. she expected you to tell her you’d been stressed or that you were scared for the next mission.

“i’m sorry, i-”

the spy quickly cupped your face, tilting your chin upwards as a hint to meet her eyes again.

“look at me, c’mon, hey. you have nothing to be sorry for, don’t ever think that you do. i love you for who you are. there’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian. you’re normal, you’re who you are, who you’re supposed to be. you are real. i promise you are.”

without thinking you leaned into natasha, clinging on to her for dear life. her arms found their way around your body, hands rubbing your back up and down.

“you should be proud to be who you are, not ashamed. and if you’re not proud of yourself then please know that i am. i am so, so, incredibly proud of you, sweetheart.” she finger brushed your hair as you continued to cry. “shhh, you’re alright baby. i’m sorry you’ve been dealing with this alone.”

“it’s okay nat.” she gave your body a small squeeze, frowning at your response. “you shouldn’t have to feel like you need to force yourself to be someone or something you’re not. you don’t deserve to struggle so much for your own acceptance as a lesbian.”

you nodded, though she could tell you weren’t fully convinced. “the only opinions you should care about are your own and the people you love and cherish. i know that’s easier said than done, but it’s true. besides, what you told me just gives me something more to love about you.” natasha finished off with a delicate kiss to your forehead.

“this means a lot to me, nat. thank you, for everything really.”

“oh sweetheart i should be thanking you for trusting me with such an important part of you are.” you shied away, a growing smile forming on your face as you leaned into her shoulder.

natahsa smirked, clearly aware of the effect she had on you. “who knew you could be so cute?”

“nattttt.”

she rose her hands up in surrender, “alright, alright. i’ll stop on one condition.”

“what’s that?” you mumbled.

“would you let me take you out for dinner tonight? i’ll show you just how beautiful it is to be with a woman.”

“yeah, yes- yes please, that’s fine.” natasha could’ve sworn she heard your heartbeat quicken and she had to refrain from letting out a small laugh at your flustered state.

“we need to clear that little mind of yours. i’ll be back here at seven on the dot, okay?” a pat on the leg caught your senses as you watched her stand. the last thing natasha heard was the soft “okay” fall from your lips as she walked out the door.

you’d never been happier to be a lesbian in your life by the end of the night.

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanov x reader #black widow x reader #natasha x reader

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cupidsintern · 3 years

Text

wyd?

modern au, established relationship, i think nancy's gay

Steve’s on TikTok when the text comes in. He’s doing better lately, good enough that he can get baked by himself and not worry about spiraling. Instead he made a peanut butter marshmallow sandwich and listened to his most recent playlist all the way through like eight times and texted Robin for a while- she’s visiting family, lots of ‘Steve pls come rescue me pls ’- and now he’s on TikTok.

It’s not late-late. But it’s not early. And he knows Nancy and Jonathan are having issues- he heard about it from the kids who don’t get that gossip is not helpful to feelings- but he didn't know they went on a break. Until he gets the text.

10:46pm - 1 New Notification

Nancy Wheeler: Hey

Typing…

Nancy Wheeler: Haven't talked in a while. How are you?

Steve clicks the notif bar. He stares at the text. It’s not like he never talks to Nancy. She’s just not Baby <3 in his phone anymore. Hasn't been for a while. He used to wonder what Jonathan put her as in his phone.

Steve can scroll up to see previous texts- Hey i had a doctors appointment during third did you get the homework outline? And Lucas left his water bottle at our house! Mike has it with him

And, more recently: Happy Birthday! Hope it's a good one :)

But this feels different. This singular ‘hey’ in its own grey bubble kind of puts Steve on edge. He doesn't respond right away, figures he should text Robin to ask if he’s just being paranoid first but- shit she went to sleep didn't she. And while he’s typing out a “Hey when you wake up” message to Robin he gets another notif.

Nancy Wheeler: Jonathan and I are on a break

Then,

Nancy Wheeler: Sorry, I probably shouldn't be texting you haha. Just wanted some company i guess

Steve feels a hot flash of anger. Rolling in his stomach like lava. Jesus he’s too high to be this angry.

He picks up his phone again.

Types out “fuck you” and deletes it and then “thats understandable but maybe you should text one of your other friends” and then deletes it and then types out “why are you texting me we're not friends" and then deletes it and then-

Clicks back, scrolls down, and texts Billy.

You: R u still awake?

Steve gets a response within seconds.

Billy <3: aw do u miss me or smth?

Billy <3: gay

That makes Steve smile. Makes the anger cool down considerably, and he sits up a bit in bed.

You: Yes but also

You: Nancy texted me?

Billy <3: about what

Billy <3: about how she broke up with Jonathan?

You: H o w do you already know that

Billy <3: i know everything. Why’d she text you??

Steve gets another notif from Nancy. He doesn't want to open it.

Luckily, he doesn't have to right away. Billy calls him.

“No one’s home.” Is Billy's opener. “Speak freely.”

“Good evening to you too.” Steve says, relieved to have the sound of Billy’s voice to lean into.

“So what does Wheeler want?”

Steve’s thumb hesitates over the notif bar.

“She said her and Jonathan are on a break and she ‘wants company.’”

“Wow.” Steve can hear poorly concealed jealousy in Billy’s words. “That’s. Wow.”

“Don’t be j-”

“I’m not jealous.”

“Oookay.” Steve laughs a little. He still hasn't opened Nancy’s text.

“Are you going to respond?”

“No fucking way, man-” Steve starts, then another text.

Unread message: I need someone to talk to. I don’t know who else I could ask.

Steve’s brow furrows.

“What happened?” Comes Billy’s voice.

“She, uh.” Steve opens the chat finally. “Hang on.”

You: Hey

You: Seems like you're in a tough spot. Not sure I’m the right guy. Maybe you could talk about it with a closer friend?

Nancy: That’s just it.

Nancy: I don’t have any friends.

Nancy: I have no one else. Johnathon was the last person left I was close with and i fucking blew it. I have no idea what to do i'm lost and confused and i just really really could use someone to talk to.

Typing...

Nancy: Please

“Babe?” Billy again. “Yeah,” Steve exhales. “Nancy, uh. Sounds pretty bad actually.”

“She reeling you in with that act?”

“I don’t think it’s an act, Bills.” Steve sits up straighter. “Something’s wrong.”

He’s typing out a vague enough response when the next text comes in.

Nancy: I think I'm gay

Then-

Nancy: Can I call you?

I think I’m gay.

That’s. Okay. That’s… something. Something that kind of makes sense now that Steve thinks about it, connects a lot of dots Steve didn't know were floating around but.

Jesus, Nancy must be having a heart attack.

“Billy, I have to call you back.” Steve says, then realizes the kind of push back he’s going to get on that.

“Call me back?” High and mighty already. “You can't just ditch me with a ‘call you back’ when your ex is actively weedling her way-”

“She’s not weedling. She’s not doing well and she has no other friends.” Silence. “Please don’t pout-”

“I’m not pouting.”

“Aw,” Steve leans his head into the receiver a little. “If I say you look cute when you pout, will that hurt or help my case?”

“Hurt.”

“Ok, I promise I’ll call you back right after I talk to her.”

“You fucking better.”

Steve says “I love you” before he gets off the phone and is medium relieved to hear Billy say it back.

Steve calls Nancy. She takes a while to pick up. When she does, he can tell she’s been crying.

“You didn’t have to call.” Is the first thing she says. She sniffs right at the end.

“Seemed like you were having. A rough night.” Steve says. Her text hasn't fully sunk in, he’s thinking about all the times she called him crying. How they got more frequent right before the end.

“I shouldn't have bothered you, I’m sorry, you can go.” Nancy’s voice builds a little. She sounds frantic.

Steve can’t really feel soft feelings about Nancy cause all of them just piss him off or ice his blood but. He’s worried. “No, no it’s-” Then Steve hears the background noise. “Dude, are you driving?”

“I- w- yeah.” Nancy sounds a little defensive.

“Oh my god.”

“I just needed to clear my head! I know I shouldn’t have called it just…”

Steve steeled himself for the words he knew were about to come out of his mouth. No matter how much of a hothead Steve could be (not as much as Billy but still), he was still a total pushover about shit like this. “Do you. Want to come over?” Steve asked stiltedly. “If you're, you know, already driving around.”

Nancy sounded relieved when she said yes.

When Steve got outside to meet Nancy’s mom’s car’s headlights, it was raining.

“Hey,” was the first thing he said when she walked up.

Looking at Nancy doesn't do much to Steve anymore. Not the way it used to. Not the way looking at Billy does now.

Looking at Billy feels how Steve assumes people in the way-back-when felt when color TV was invented.

Nancy looks as washed out as Steve thinks she feels.

“Hi.”

“You wanna come in?”

Nancy hesitates. “I don’t. Want to impose.”

“It’s raining, Nance.”

She looks surprised, like she didn't notice. “Oh.” then. “Okay.”

Steve steps back as Nancy walks onto the smooth tile right in front of the front door. It’s quiet enough after the door closes Steve thinks he can hear her hair dripping onto the ground.

“So,” Steve says after a bit. “Did you-”

“I’m sorry.” Nancy says suddenly. But it’s not the panicked little “sorry’s” from earlier, it’s a single, earnest one.

“For what?” “Everything.” More tears are streaming down her cheeks now. “I know I shouldn't have bothered you, I didn’t- I wasn’t a good girlfriend. Or a good friend. I just. I thought maybe I would know who I was if someone else did, but I didn't. And I don’t have anyone else, and I remember when- when you told me you were bi when we were dating and I was weird about it but now i think I was just jealous- because- bec-” Nancy cut herself off, unable to keep going with the tears closing up her throat.

Steve swallowed pretty hard. “Because. You think, you’re gay?”

Nancy sat down on the floor.

“The floors all wet-”

“I know, Steve.” Nancy cut him off gently. He was familiar with the tone.

Steve looked at her, looked at the floor, and opted to sit next to her. The rain was hitting harder on the door behind them.

Nancy didn't seem like she had anything more to say. Steve tried to think of something to ask.

“Why, uh. Why do you think you are?”

“I don’t know if I am.” She said quickly.

“Why do you think you might be?”

She sighed, pushed the wet hair off her face. “You don’t have to talk to me about this. I figure it probably doesn't feel good to hear.”

Steve hadn't thought of that. If Nancy is gay, that means she probably wasn't ever actually into him. Not just after a while, but from ‘go,’ it wasn't the same for her.

“Not great.” Steve admitted. “But. It isn't about me.”

Nancy sighed again. “Why are you so nice?” She mumbled. “Both you and Jonathan.” Then she teared up again.

“I thought maybe.” Nancy started up after clearing her throat. “That I didn’t… feel as much because. I was just with the wrong person.” She glanced sideways, clearly feeling worse with every word. “But. I didn’t. I just. I felt the same. Like something was missing.”

“You always feel like that?” Steve was kind of surprised. “Like, with every relationship?”

“Romantic ones, yeah.”

The rain got louder again. “I was…” Nancy fought to say the next words. “I didn’t always feel like that.”

“With us?” Steve hopes a little. “Or with Jonathan?”

Nancy speaks a little softer, like it will soften the blow to Steve, to herself. “...With Barb.”

Billy was going to give Steve so much shit for falling for Robin and Nancy since it sounded like they were both gay. He already had gotten shit about Robin. “This is a problem unique to bisexuals.” had been Billy’s quip.

Nancy talked a bit more easily after that one admission. About why Barb's death hit her so hard. About why she felt bad for hurting Steve, how confused she was, how alone.

How she pushed everyone away except whoever held the position of boyfriend because she didn't ever feel right around people. But boyfriend seemed. Normal.

Steve was pretty familiar with feeling like he Should Do whatever was ‘normal.’ His parents weren’t exactly pleased when ‘being bi’ turned out to be an actual thing and not just a family conversation they could keep pretending they didn't have.

Nancy was crying again. Said she was sorry again.

Steve hugged her.

It was pretty awkward. He was trying not to touch her too much and her hair got his sweater wet, but she tucked her face against his chest like she always used to.

Something about that clicked. How hugs had always felt closer for them than kisses. How maybe they had been meant to be friends, and just misread the signs.

Maybe they could be friends now. Maybe.

Nancy pulled away and wiped her nose. “Thank you.”

“Yeah.”

Steve checked his phone to let Nancy fix her face a little and then winced at the sheer volume of messages from Billy that popped up on his screen.

“What’s up?’ Nancy asked, leaning back over.

“Oh, just Billy.”

“Oh god,” Nancy grimace. “He can’t have been pleased I came over.”

Steve opened the messages. “He’s not. But I told him it was important.” “You can. Tell him.” Nancy said tentatively. “If you want. About what we talked about. About me.” Billy was gonna get a kick out of this. But Steve felt more somber about it than Billy probably would.

It was weird.

He’d been in Nancy’s shoes. But he’d also been completely in love with her. So at once he was hurt and sympathetic.

But he also felt. Better.

Something about the two of them, Steve and Nancy, always seemed. Unfinished.

This was probably the close out they needed.

“I should call Billy back.”

“Of course.” Nancy looked almost embarrassed. “I can go-”

“Nah, stay a bit.” Steve was standing up, unlocking his phone to a slew of “wheeler has been on my shit list from day ONE” and “i know you’d never cheat like i know that i'm not crazy but my therapist said.” Makes Steve smile at his phone. “‘I'll make you tea or something."

#i just! think nancy is a lesbian #shes not been Great to either of her bfs #so maybe theres a good reason!#nancy wheeler #steve harrington #billy hargrove #steve x billy #billy x steve #harringrove #harringrove fanfic #background harringrove #my fic

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reinerispretty · 4 years

Text

rotations. (zuko x f!reader) pt17

there’s a lil easter egg in here :) wonder who can find it first!! thanks so much for reading i lov u

pt1

pt16

pt18

“What if he doesn’t want to see me?” Zuko asked. His amber eyes were transfixed on the tent before him.

“I think you know that isn’t true.” (Y/N) took his hand in hers and squeezed it. “I’ll be with the others if you need me.”

When the group awoke the next morning, Aang was gone. Each member searched high and low for the young Avatar, but to no avail. “I don’t really think this is the time for him to go on one of his special Avatar journeys,” Toph grumbled, to which (Y/N) hummed in agreement. As the group reunited after their searches, Zuko proposed the idea of utilizing the bounty hunter June and her shirshu Nyla in finding Aang.

“Isn’t she the one who paralyzed me?” (Y/N) asked bitterly.

“And me?” Sokka chimed in.

“And me?” Katara added. Zuko shrugged.

“Her shirshu can track someone down from across a continent. If anyone can find Aang, it’s her.” (Y/N) was not interested in the idea of procuring a bounty hunter to find Aang, but it was their only hope.

And that hope was quickly squandered. When they found June and convinced her to help them, her shirshu couldn’t locate Aang.

“Is he dead?” (Y/N) asked. June shook her head.

“Nyla would be able to smell his body. Your friend isn’t in this world anymore.” What that meant exactly, the group had no idea. Even when Aang traveled to the Spirit World, his physical body remained in the physical one. How could he have just disappeared?

“Try this, then,” Zuko said, holding up a piece of clothing to Nyla’s nose. The shirshu sniffed and immediately turned in the opposite direction, ready to dart off into the woods.

“Whose is that?” Katara asked.

“It’s my uncle’s. If anyone will be able to tell us what to do, it’s him.”

Nyla led the friends to the outer wall of Ba Sing Se, where they were met by King Bumi, Master Pakku, and the other great masters they had met over their travels.

“How do you all know each other?” Sokka asked.

“We are all part of the Order of the White Lotus,” Piandao explained. “An organization that transcends loyalty to our nations and instead comes together to fight for the common good.”

“Does that mean my uncle is here?” Zuko asked. Piandao nodded. The six friends were led into the main camps, where many tents had been set up to house other members of the Order. As (Y/N) passed, she recognized a few of the members as people she had known during her time traveling the three nations. Citizens of the Fire Nation that were also part of the Order seemed to be few and far between, but (Y/N) supposed their numbers deteriorated after nearly a hundred years of pro Fire Nation propaganda.

The biggest tent of them all belonged to the Grand Lotus: Iroh. The rest of the group dispersed to discuss battle plans, leaving (Y/N) and Zuko paused just paces away from the entrance of the tent.

“What if he doesn’t want to see me?” Zuko asked. His amber eyes were transfixed on the tent before him.

“I think you know that isn’t true.” (Y/N) took his hand in hers and squeezed it. “I’ll be with the others if you need me.” Her fingers slid from his and Zuko turned to watch her walk away before taking a deep breath and entering his uncle’s tent.

(Y/N) sat between Sokka and Katara as they listened to Master Pakku describe the Order’s plans to liberate Ba Sing Se. He paused as she joined their group.

“Ah, (Y/N). Glad to see you’re back in the clothes of your home nation.” It was a joke of course, a nod to the last time they had seen each other.

When the Fire Nation was attacking the Northern Water Tribe, (Y/N) had felt defenseless while fighting off the Fire Nation soldiers, so she had unleashed her firebending on them. Soldiers from the Water Tribe had captured her as a spy and it had taken a lot of convincing from Katara that she really was trying to fight against the Fire Nation. It was an embarrassing misunderstanding that led to (Y/N) to choose hand-to-hand combat over her own firebending if she could help it.

“Evening, Master Pakku,” (Y/N) said with a smile.

“Do you really think Iroh and the other firebenders will be powerful enough to take back the city?” Sokka questioned. Both Pakku and (Y/N) nodded.

“His power as a firebender is unparalleled,” Pakku explained.

“He might look like a sweet old man, but he is one of the best firebenders in the entire nation,” (Y/N) added. “I learned some of my best techniques from studying how he fought. Plus the comet will only make firebenders even more powerful.”

“Yeah, but you’re fighting against Fire Nation soldiers,” was Sokka’s rebuttal. “Won’t they be more powerful too?”

(Y/N) nodded. “I don’t mean to sound like a snob, but people like Iroh and I spent a lot more time training than those lousy soldiers. It’ll be a long fight, but not a hard one for Iroh.”

Almost as if he had been summoned, Iroh exited his tent with Zuko as his side. (Y/N) recognized the glistening trails of tears on Zuko’s face, but also saw the happiness in his eyes.

“(Y/N)!” Iroh cheered. She smiled widely and stood to run over and give him a hug. “It is very good to see you again.”

“And you the same,” she said, giving him a bow. “It feels like just yesterday that we broke out of the Fire Nation prison.”

“This is who broke you out?” Katara asked. Iroh chuckled.

“You think I would let the only other sane person in the Fire Nation stay in jail?” They returned to the campfire to further discuss their plans for the comet. Iroh poured them all cups of tea as Zuko and (Y/N) sat next to each other. Katara was the only one who caught the look of surprise on his face and she returned it with a smile as she accepted her cup of tea.

“Katara,” Zuko said. “How would you like to come to the Fire Nation to help (Y/N) and I take down Azula?”

“It would be my pleasure,” Katara said with a grin. The situation still gave (Y/N) a heavy feeling in her stomach, but sometimes the right thing was the hardest thing to do.

Eventually, (Y/N’s) friends and the other members of the Order dispersed from the campfire to retire for the night. Only (Y/N) and Iroh remained, finishing off the pot of tea.

“I see you and Zuko reconciled,” Iroh hummed as he sipped his tea.”

“For the most part, yes.” Iroh was the easiest person to talk to, (Y/N) found. When she was younger and had not even her own parents to turn to, if Iroh was visiting, he would lend her an ear. “I think I’ve forgiven him. Part of me still gets mad thinking about the things he’s done to me and my friends.”

“That is only natural. The heart cannot forget the wounds that it has endured, but it can heal from them.” (Y/N) nodded.

“I’m trying to.”

“I always thought you and Zuko were the most interesting pair.”

“How so?” Iroh sat in silence for a moment as he pieced his thoughts together.

“You are strong in your beliefs. You are not afraid to be defiant if it means doing what is right. I remember when you were younger, I heard you arguing with your mother about why you should continue your firebending training. You told her that you did not care what she wanted you to do, because you knew becoming a better bender would make you stronger.” Iroh chuckled.

“Zuko had told me to say that, so I could stay in training with him. She gave me the punishment of a lifetime after I said it.”

“I am sure. But Zuko was not granted the same strength as you. He is loyal to the people he cares about, which is why it was so hard for him to choose what was right and wrong. He loved you and I but loved his father and Azula as well.”

(Y/N) furrowed her brows. She wasn’t quite sure where Iroh was going with this, but then again, was anything he said ever straightforward?”

“You pushed Zuko to make the right choices and he pushed you to stand up for yourself. As I watched you grow up, I noticed how you rotated around each other. Like the moon and tides, you and Zuko were always the driving force behind the other.”

“Until he was banished.”

“Zuko fought so hard to capture the Avatar because he wanted to restore his honor and return home to you. He will never admit it, but that is all he wanted.”

“And I guess here I was, fighting against my home for doing horrible things and taking someone I cared about away from me.”

“We are all connected, but no matter how hard you or Zuko tried to cut the thread that tied the two of you together, it is indestructible.” Iroh finished the last of his tea and stood. “You must rest. We all have a big day ahead of us.”

(Y/N) watched as Iroh returned to his tent. She squashed out the dying fire. and made her way back to the tens she and her friends had been given. Katara and Toph slept in the first one, Suki and Sokka in the next, and Zuko lay fast asleep in the last one.

(Y/N) crawled into the spot beside him, feeling the exhaustion of the day weighing heavily on her body. She lay on her back and instantly fell asleep.

Katara woke the next morning and decided to rouse (Y/N) and Zuko first, since they would be traveling to the Fire Nation together. She pulled open the door to the tent to see (Y/N) snoring on Zuko’s chest, with Zuko’s arm wrapped tightly around her waist.

Katara dropped the tent door and walked away. She could give them a few more minutes.

---

Tag List!

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#atla #avatar #zuko x reader #sokka x reader #aang x reader #katara #sokka #aang #toph #zuko #iroh #azula #suki #appa #momo #the last airbender #writing #fanfiction

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nightswithkookmin · 3 years

Note

Hey Goldy, i'm positive Yoongi isn't straight and has been fairly open about it from the early years. So do u think that Yoongi could've influenced Jikook (especially Jimin cuz he is very close to him) in any sort of way on their journey?

Jimin is VERY close to Yoongi

Thank you so much for this statement😭

I feel seen and heard🤧

Not a lot of Jokers out here appreciate Yoonmin's bond😭😭😭😭

The disrespect! How dare they!

In reality, Yoonmin is one of the best ships that reflects the hyung dongsaeng dynamic perfectly in BTS in my opinion- Jinkook and Yoonkook, NamTae are heavy contenders I'd say but Yoonmin is right up there with them. Love Jihope too- if they could cut down on the flirting chilee.

No JHOPE I don't want you to call Jimin sexy or look at him like you want to gobble him with a glass of Sprite- it's weird😭😭😭

But also don't stop

From Suga 'bullying' Jimin, teasing him, praising him, mentoring him, the bickering- he is the biggest PJM right next to JK and Namjoon. I said what I said.

So thank you for this. I literally cried.

Feel so good to hear someone say that.

I'm having an existential crisis at the moment and Yoonmin is what is getting me through it at the moment.

People need to stop invalidating the members' bond. Seriously. Not cool. They all have beautiful dynamics real or not.

But he's gay? 🤔

You believe Suga is gay??

Damn.

He's queer and has been pretty open about it from the beginning???

A lot of people assume that about him actually. I think it's interesting.

Did he influence Jikook, Jimin in anyway...

If by influence you mean support then yes. I think he was and has been very supportive of Jimin and JK individually and has helped them embrace and make sense of certain aspects of themselves.

I think he's more understanding than most of the challenges and difficulties of being young and uncertain of who you are growing up under public scrutiny and in a highly hostile environment.

I think he is wise beyond his age and I have a ton of love and respect for him as both a person and an artist.

I love 'People' so much...

I think the most Iconic thing he's said so far to me is this totally woke, fanservice questioning and ridiculing statement:

'I didn't want to wear the maid outfit. I was surprised when they said it's for the fans. We don't have any interest in seeing girls wear men's clothes so why does the fans want us to wear women's clothes?'

It's weird. Fanservice is weird.

My least favorite moment of his is when he admonished JK not to say things like he'd want a tattoo when he grows up because the fans wouldn't like that.

I found that very contradictory for someone who's life motto is nevermind- or is it I don't give a shit?😏

Find it equally triggering whenever he teases JK about crying too much or being a cry baby as if it's wrong for men to cry. There's nothing wrong with shedding tears. Men cry too.

Then the bit about him not wanting tattoos or just a dot on his toe or feet or something because he has things he might want to do post BTS that having a tattoo would just be an inconvenience... quite conservative I'd say.

He don't give a fuck but then he gives a fuck?

Mans gotta be a realist or I'd chalk up these inconsistencies in his values to the clash between his Persona and his real self.

To be fair, he's not the only one. That conflict plays out in almost every member's outlook.

I see Yoongi as that one person who'd say to a person, go for it but end that advice with a caveat such as, 'but understand people will hate you for it' or some truth along those lies.

He places consequences right next to desire and as long as the person is not oblivious to and can bare the consequences of their actions, decisions and choices then I think he'd ask them to go for it and stand in their truth.

That much I know is his value and I can see how that might have impacted both JM and JK. But rather than encourage them to take risks, I think he pushes them to seize opportunities and put themselves outside- there's a difference there. Their not one and the same.

More than anyone in BTS, I think he understands the gravity of being queer, closeted or being in a relationship with a bandmate in the industry they work in.

I think he is much mature enough to understand the consequences of over attachment and risks of detachment and that too plays out in the way Jikook carry themselves around in the group.

Other than that, I think he minds his business most times.

Do I think he is open minded about conversations on sexuality? Absolutely.

But that's as far as I can go on the topic.

I do not believe he is queer and I'm not convinced in anyway he is pansexual or bisexual either- don't quote his song lyrics to me I already know. Lol.

Boy or girl my tongue will send you to hongkong....

And then his interviews about what he finds attractive in women??

'... it's not limited to boys or girls?'

Lolololololololol

I think that bit was heavily misconstrued.

'I'M NOT GAY'

This was his response when he was asked to talk about moments his heart skipped because of JHOPE. Similar to moments when the members had said their they almost fell for a band mate perhaps.

Other translations of that statement he made in the interview was, 'since we are both men, how can my heart throb for a man' and then he laughs it off.

Knowing Suga, I think he probably meant that in the most ridiculing, most mocking way possible- these interviewers be asking some stupid questions sometimes.

But imagine Suga saying that with two gay members sitting right next to him in that interview and how these members would feel hearing him say that about homosexuality.

One thing about BTS, if they be making loud openly 'woke' statements, take a shovel to their past- it's usually because they've messed up somewhere and are simply acting conscious of the things they say that can come across as problematic. In my opinion.

They do learn and grow from their mistakes. That's one thing I love about BTS.

They've all had their problematic moments as I keep saying.

To me, this interview moment would be one of such said problematic moments if not one very homophobic moment of Suga's- if the translations were right I mean. chileee. Lemme shut up. Lol.

And before anyone says but JK said the same thing too...

JK had a 'fear' of coming across as Gay in his early years. Part of the reason he wanted JM on the west of his east when the cameras came around- in my opinion.

He'd stutter when similar 'gay' questions were thrown his way- prompting Jimin to ask him straight away not to answer said question when an interviewer asked him.

You pair that with some of the members describing him as 'wanting to be manly' or appear like a manly man and it's not hard to figure out what was going on with him.

He'd pause and look at JM funny when JM would describe their relationship as in between friends and romance...

Jimin had to tell him to relax and that it was normal for men to say 'love' to men without it being weird or gay.

He knew gayism was a thing. He simply didn't want to be viewed as one- either because of his own repressed homosexual desires, in which case that would be internalized homophobia or he really really didn't like being thought of as gay- homophobia.

Suga's is different.

He either genuinely didn't know gay was a thing or that some men's heart actually beat for other men- seems to me he thought the idea of a man's heart skipping for another man absurd or impossible- or dude thought he was being a smart pants with that remark. Lol.

Baring his age in mind at the time of the interview, that in anyway reflects his ideals or assumptions about sexuality. That heterosexuality is D norm. That straight is all he can be or should be thought of as- He clearly hasn't read the blogs. He's in for a rude awakening.

If JK had this ideology about sexuality I think he would have been able to hide his sexuality better and not freak out each time people made jokes about it💀

Suga's said explicitly he is attracted to gal's who wear headphones, doesn't like gals who play hard to get- said he'd kick em if they didn't quit playing hard to get (misogynistic and abusive lyrics there but it's hiphop- let's not talk about that) finds it ridiculous that men should wear female clothes, thinks 'men' shouldn't cry.... all the making of a fine gay man😃

Should we chalk it up to internalized homophobia then??

I wouldn't.

A very dedicated Sope shipper will tell you, he said what he said to cover the fact he is gay so there's that. Lol.

I'm just not convinced Suga is part of the community but I think he is open minded now, leans less into his conservative values and more towards progressive values and thoughts.

I don't think he in any way shape or form 'influenced' Jikook to be gay or to do the gay if that's what you were asking.

But I do respect your opinion on Suga. I think we are all free to assume whatever we want in this case.

I might be wrong about him. You might be wrong about him or we could all be right. We will never know.

Thanks for the ask.

Wasn't comfortable answering it though. Lol.

I don't like when I have to watch what I say.

Sigh.

Signed,

GOLDY

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mueritos · 3 years

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agh tbh it’s a little disheartening to see u against mspec gays :[ i’m aspec, nonbinary, and a ply gay man, and the points u were makin don’t really say much? like, u used the recycled argument of “oh [microlabel] will make our oppressors hate us more so don’t use it,” if i read that right??

and bi lesbians aren’t a new thing, and they aren’t a singular phenomenon; pan lesbians, omni gay men, abro lesbians, etc though small in numbers we do exist. and as someone who uses the SAM in relation to being aspec, all the points u made against non-aspecs using it actually support them using it imo? (although not all mspec gays use the SAM at all), sexuality can be just as nuanced, complicated, fluid, and personal as gender. i get it doesn’t make much sense to you just lookin at it, but the same could be said of men who are also women, or people who are agender and pangender.

and ofc, just because some people using a label could be uninformed or “wrong” about themselves, doesn’t mean the label itself should be dismissed as a whole. you end up casting doubt on anyone who self-identifies in that way, which leads straight to identity policing. again, a lot of these arguments are the exact same ones used in anti-trans, anti-nonbinary, and anti-apsec circles. (and sorry if this is worded rudely, or just incomprehensible, writing isn’t always easy for me.)

hey! honestly thanks for this message, it has helped me sort thru my thoughts a bit. I will say that I never said that I think certain microlabels or identities will make our oppressors hate us, in fact thats the exact sort of rhetoric I work against. I also do want to say that I do understand and support folks like you mentioned, like those who are agender (I ID'd as agender for a time!), pangender, he/him lesbians, and she/her gays!

I suppose most of my hesitance for non-aspecs to use SAM to describe their experiences comes from what I have heard from fellow aspecs and even non-aspecs, and what I've heard mostly is that non-aspecs using the SAM model could perpetuate a lot of transphobia and homophobia, whether that is internalized or projected. I've listened to folks' experiences being non-aspec using the SAM as a way to justify comp-het (folks dealing with internalized homophobia), and also experiences of uncomfortable trans people being pursued by individuals who were non-aspec using SAM as a way to also display their attraction (examples I've heard were pan lesbians, a transman being pursued by one may feel particularly uncomfy because he may wonder if she views him as a woman). These are the examples of why I've just been hesitant for non-aspecs to use the SAM, and even then I do recognize that lots of. peoples' attractions and genders are complex, but I also feel they are all connected, and I'm just not completely convinced that one cannot influence the other. I am aromantic, but I am also gay and trans, and my attraction and perception of gender would not be the same if all 3 of these identities were not acknowledged. My attraction to men is heavily influenced by my aromanticism, and thus also influences my gender.

The thing is not that I don't understand it, I really do! The SAM is a great way to describe a complex relationship with attraction and sexuality and gender, I just worry that the need to label every single aspect of discomfort/comfort in terms of sexuality and attraction can lead to MORE confusion...I love that we have terms and labels to name what we are feeling as queer people but...I also worry it may just complicate people's journey with their gender/sexuality/attraction. There's a great video essay that explains what I mean better and uses mogai as an example. This is not me saying folks shouldn't use it, because to be honest, at this point I don't care. It's not affecting me so its like whatever. But I won't deny these are the thoughts I have when in context to non-aspecs using SAM.

This discussion in general is just also. A chronically online discussion and I doubt in IRL queer spaces it would be a problem because when you're IRL and queer no one gives a fuck what you do. So I use that to put this all into perspective and can just say now that I don't care what non-aspecs do, but again, I won't deny my hesitance as someone who is aspec and uses the Split-Attraction-Model, and who recognizes that it is something that mostly exclusively is used and created by aspecs. But yea, thanks for the ask! helped my brain work thru stuff <3

#muertoresponds #and dw about being rude or anything u were very concise #i cant tell tone thru text but that extra bit lmk u werent trying to b malicious #my brain just reads everything without tone indicators as angry 😭so ty #aspec #essentially i want more of a focus to figure urself out without feeling pressure to name everything u feel #because i think that just complicates the process more #considering it may justify or excuse comphet or internalized biases.

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shortkingvi · 3 years

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the team rwby girls for the ask meme :)

alright settle in kids,,,,,,, let's do this one

Ruby:

favorite thing about them

just,,,,,, how good she is,,,,, the way they've managed to portray her growing up super well while also keeping that distinct innocence and childhood optimism about her is what makes ruby such a wonderful protag i think, and i really really love how, at the end of the day, she is just good, you know?

least favorite thing about them

this is moreso a plot/writing thing, but i don't always LOVE how she just has plans ready and is always the one to figure things out,,,,,, i understand plot armour and protag themes and whatnot, but i wish that they'd make the route to a plan a LITTLE more complex at times and i think a lot of that rests on ruby specifically

favorite line

"you were, and then you trained us"

GOD when she said this line????? i screamed it's SO good

brOTP

give me more nora and ruby interactions crwby i'm begging

OTP

nuts n dolts 😭 my beloved

nOTP

aside from the obvious ones? maybe wh*terose??? i don't HATE it, i just don't really get it u know?

random headcanon

enby ruby,,,,,,, also maybe she builds lego too

unpopular opinion

i don't listen to anyone ever so i don't know what's unpopular but uhhhhhh,,,,,, i guess i'm not crazy about people desperately searching for a pairing for her??? as much as i love nnd, i'd much rather ruby have ruby stay single through the show because i just feel like it makes more sense re: her character

also some of the pairings ppl think up are SO bad

song i associate with them

over the line - state champs,,,,,,, i cannot explain it, it just IS

favorite picture of them

her fucking SMUG face when she fell off the bridge i love it

Weiss:

favorite thing about them

man just like,,,,,,, so much,,,,,,, her dedication to PEOPLE in particular is so beautiful. she grew up with not a lot of love expressed freely and so the way she treats the people in her life now that she's grown and found safety is so endearing because she handles everyone with such care

least favorite thing about them

the fact that they haven't given her a dramatic anime protag haircut yet

favorite line

"i don't know loneliness like you do, i have my own version"

had to stop and absorb that one the first time i heard it,,,,,,, oof

brOTP

freezerburn babeyyyyyyyyyyyyy

OTP

schneekos,,,,, i pray to my schneekos shrine every night and am currently planning a fic about them

nOTP

🐝🐝❄️

random headcanon

trans weiss is my big one,,,,,, also she loves baking but is a horrible cook

unpopular opinion

hate it when she sings,,,,,,, this is moreso because i just can't handle characters/actors singing without cringing violently,,,,,,, leave me alone

song i associate with them

VOID - lil nas x,,,,,,, v much introspective weiss, lonely weiss, v4 weiss etc.

bonus: where i wanna be - A R I Z O N A is a weiss to pyrrha schneekos song

favorite picture of them

it's just a really beautifully animated scene

also when u realize that's pyrrha spear it gets way sadder ok bye

Blake:

favorite thing about them

might honestly die trying to answer this because, as much as i don't talk about her indvidually, she's SUCH an excellent character,,,,,,, i think her dedication to her friends and her ability to read emotions is really wonderful and always so refreshing

least favorite thing about them

no kiss yang yet >:(

jk maybe how type b she's become? i'd like to see her take some more leadership roles in the upcoming seasons rather than just kinda going with the flow, because she's a good leader and that should be a plot device that's utilized more

favorite line

"but that's just it... they're only a part of you. don't forget about the rest"

i just love it so much

brOTP

ladybug,,,,,, i LOVE ladybug

OTP

don't have one 😔 wish i did tho :(

nOTP

🐝🐝❄️

random headcanon

blake is an online shopper and has to be controlled by the team because she spends too much on the daily

unpopular opinion

maybe that i don't think she truly recognized and acknowledged her feelings for yang FULLY until like,,,,,,,, v6? i think she was in denial before then

song i associate with them

it's gonna be okay, baby - MUNA,,,,,,, just listen to it and agree with me thanks

favorite picture of them

bestie that's GAY

Yang:

favorite thing about them

GOD,,,,,, i latched onto her so quickly so this is hard but uhhhhh, i love that she effortlessly switches between team mom and team child depending on what role she needs to play at the time,,,,, i think that flexibility makes her the biggest team player in the show (which is all about teams so that's saying something)

least favorite thing about them

how her passion is sometimes seen as straight up brashness or naivety,,,,, i think she's not always the best communicator so it can seem like she's not thinking at times even though she's very methodical

favorite line

"if there's a chance of reward money, i say we go for it"

not my FAVOURITE favourite, but i love that she was willing to sell weiss at the drop of a hat

brOTP

either freezerburn or her and coco

OTP

again,,,,,, wish i had one 😞

nOTP

her and any man,,,,,,, also what i listed above

random headcanon

summer used to do her hair for her which is why she's so sensitive about people touching it now

unpopular opinion

she's not,,,,,, stupid lol and i feel like a lot of the fandom loves to pretend she is

song i associate with them

have you seen my son - benjamin booker

idk man, just trust me on this

favorite picture of them

we peaked right here in this moment

send me a character!

#alright done! god what a journey #also i'm specifically doing non rwby songs for obvious reasons #asks #anon #harrowharkboygf

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mysmorgasbordoffantabulosa · 3 years

Text

Thoughts on Permission to Dance on Stage

Intro VCR

Considering Tae led a little on the VCRs that fact that they were Taekook heavy when featured is telling for me. Here in the first one, they are front and centre. Plus they all were attacking us with their looks, and Tae with the paper clip, boy you are problematic for us all! I also feel some numbers on the arrest signs may have more meaning than we first thought, for example, JK’s references the Wembley Concert Date that the audience sung Forever Young to the boys.

ON / Fire / Dope

Arms, Chest, Sweat, Hot, Sexy, Angels all words to describe what went down. With all the remixes of the songs, BigHit can we have a Remix Album in the future please! Or they could just release a Live Concert Album, it’s a thought! Also, I’m more convinced now the boys need to do a Bond theme song.

DNA

The JK lyric change is subtle but again very telling, Once again this song is a Taekook song.

VCR 1

I get BTS Universe vibes. I wonder if it’s setting something up in 2022. Very edgy and rebellious.

Blue & Grey / Black Swan

Even though Tae was not part of the mirrored performance, I actually think this made the overall performance more effective, especially when Tae sang “I am singing by myself”.I always love Black Swan, the intro with the swan wings was amazing and when each movement matched the sound/music it was sublime.

Blood Sweat & Tears / FAKE LOVE

They decided to attack us didn’t they, particularly JK’s crop top. One thing a concert in an empty stadium is you can’t hide all the imperfect sounds whilst singing with audience noises. So we heard every breath and distortion from being too close to the mic. You can’t say they aren’t singing live.

VCR 2

Opposite to the first, this was fun, cute and playful.

Life Goes On / Boy With Luv

I just want to know what made JK and J Hope laugh, and it’s clear he thought he was caught on camera doing it!

Dynamite / Butter

Two of my favourite remixes of the night, particularly Dynamite. I feel we’ve heard it before, but I can’t remember where.

VCR 3

Definite BTSU vibes here, plus Taekook arms around each is always a bonus!. The song in the video reminded me of Michael Jackson’s Scream.

Airplane Pt.2 / Silver Spoon / Dis-ease / Telepathy / Stay / So What

It’s clear from the clothes in this section will be all or partially available to purchase eventually. RM “OH SHIT” Why the bus? It served no real purpose, just like the big sofa, other than to give the boys a break from dancing. Though I think that could have been achieved in other ways. And why is it every time I hear Telepathy all I can hear when they sing is “So Gay” The boys dancing. But my big question of the night will be why is no-one talking about the fact that only one subunit that was featured in the whole concert was RM/Jin/JK. Why only this song? I know it fit the vibe of the section, but there are other EDM type song in BTS’s back catalogue that could have been put there too. JK’s comment at the start of So What, obviously directed towards those who diss family business connections, tattoos and piercings. The fact that JK when back to walk with Tae and held his hand, says a lot about how close they truly are.

I Need U / Save Me / IDOL

Loved INU & SM but was not feeling the IDOL remix.

VCR 4

They seriously made us what ARMY bombs for nearly 10 mins, bitches!!!

Epilogue: Young Forever / Spring Day

Why was JK wearing a Red/White hanky on his right pinky finger? Now if we go by the hanky code, his either into being fisted or shaved. But I think it’s neither of these, I kept spotting something that looked like a ring on the finger, could it be the ring was too big and chose to use the hanky to keep it in place? These questions and more will likely be answered in a years time when they release either 2021 memories or the DVD of the concert. Jin and the ribbon bow is a mood. At the start of Spring Day, just after J Hope asked people to sing along, JK said something to which Tae responds. I can’t quite make out what’s said between the two, but whatever Tae said makes J Hope grin and Tae smile big.

Permission to Dance

Permission to Dance was perfect, and I loved seeing Tae smile at the end.

The announcement at the end

I feel the streaming announcement to because ticketmaster messed up the ticketing the offline concerts (as well as HYBE), not that it can’t replace the ability to see them in person,.

General observations

JK deliberately choose to break normal formation to stand beside Tae at the end, rub his back and stay there until RM called him back to his spot. Also, he called Tae TaeTae at least once in the concert. In the first Ment, JK asked Tae if he was going to carry on, but Tae then got a little shy. I always find Suga to be the funniest because I don’t know whether he’s uncomfortable or truly loving the cheese.

#bts ptd on stage #bts #taekook

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g0ldengubler · 3 years

Text

chapter 3~a night on the town

(*i do not own this gif*)

A/N: hi everyone! this song is what I thought would be playing in a certain part of the story. I'll put a * at the part. yes, it's minecraft but i could care less bc it’s very calming and dreamy. i also quickly want to say thank you so much for the love on nauseous like it truly means a lot and it’s what’s keeping me going :’) if anyone could give a lesson in tumblr fanfic writing tho that would be great bc i feel like such a grandma xD thank you again for reading and enjoyyy :)

Category: fluff

CW: smoking weed (i don’t encourage this but please smoke responsibly if u ever do!)

Word Count: 1545

before you read | last chapter | next chapter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You're suddenly in a beautiful part of the park. You didn't see this on your little mini tour, but it was magical. Spencer took you over to a giant tree on a small hill off the pond. The light from the moon made the water twinkle as the two of you sat under the tree. You felt like you were in a fairytale, and this was like a forest filled with fairy magic. It had rained a bit sometime in the late afternoon, so the ground beneath you and the leaves on the trees sparkled with dew drops. The sight of it all filled you with wonder. The night hadn't even really started yet and already you wished the sun never came up again. This couldn't end.

Spencer sat against the tree as he rummages through his bag to find his pen. "I'm speechless," You said as you sat down diagonal of him, "This place is breathtaking."

"I tend to come by here to read when I can't sleep or during the day having trouble on a case," said Spencer, "I found this spot around the time I first joined the BAU. It keeps me grounded."

You grab your pen out of your bag and hold it in your hands, waiting for Spencer. He finally finds his in the bottom of his bag and takes it out. You click your pens on and Spencer froze, not knowing what to do.

"Do we...cheers?" He asks, "Like we do when we drink?"

"Not usually, no," you chuckled, "But if you want to we can."

"You sound like you've done this before, Y/N."

"Meh, I experimented a bit in high school and college. But I never did it everyday like my classmates. Just here and there if I was really stressed."

Spencer brings his pen close to yours. "Well, cheers!" He says awkwardly.

"Cheers!" You giggle.

You both take three or four hits. On the last hit, Spencer started coughing. "Did you accidentally take a really big hit?" You ask.

"I think-" He coughs again, "-so!"

After his little coughing attack, you both laugh. You shift your weight onto your elbows. Legs straight out, you let the high take over your body. Spencer puts his head against the tree. He takes a couple more hits and let's it hit him. You start to feel the tingles again through your body and your eyes getting heavy.

"I wonder what the percentage of these carts are," you said, "I should ask Garcia."

"It must be a lot if I already feel like I smoked a whole blunt by myself."

"Well I was gonna that it's just because you're a beginner so you'll be a lightweight, but now you sound like you've done this before, Doctor."

"I swear I just know my research! I've never smoked before last night."

"Mmhmm, surrrre," you said as you started to get up from the ground, using the tree as support, "I'm sure it was just for that paper."

You grab your bag and rub the grass and dirt that was on your pants. You give a hand to Spencer as he gets up and you start heading outside of the park. You both stood there, looking around. "So, is there anywhere you'd like to revisit?"

You think for a moment. "How about the Lincoln Memorial?"

"Perfect!"

He lends his arm out and you link yours with his as you walk to the Lincoln Memorial. There was a nice cool breeze as you walked under the city lights, your blurry vision making it feel like you were in a movie. You looked up at Spencer and saw that his eyelids were a little bit lower than usual. You felt panic hit you as you unlock your phone and open snapchat. Turning the flash on, you look at the top of your phone and took a photo. You looked at your eyes and noticed they were a bit pink, but nothing to worry about.

"You ok?" asked Spencer.

"Yeah, I'm fine. My eyes get red easily when I'm high so I'm just checking."

"My dear, you look quite marvelous if I do say so myself!" He says, using a british accent, which made you laugh.

Finally, you made it to the memorial. You debated on climbing all those steps to the top, but Spencer made a bet that he could beat you to the top, and you weren't going to back out of a challenge. You both speed up the steps but Spencer beats you.

"Who's the pussy now, huh?" Spencer teases from what you said the night before, out of breath.

You put your hands on your knees, trying to catch yours. "Very funny, Doctor."

Once your breathing went back to normal, you slowly walked closer to the statue, admiring it. "You know," you began, "While my love for crime fighting was my whole life, I had a small interest in President Lincoln. I have no clue why, but I've been reading books about him since I was 4."

You paused for a moment, then turned around to face Spencer. "I have a fact for you, Doctor," you began, but then Spencer cut you off.

"You know you can call me Spencer or Spence, right? Come to think of it, you're the only one who calls me Spence."

"Ok, well Spence," you restated, "Have you heard of the theory that he might've been a closeted gay or bisexual man?"

"No actually, I haven't heard much on it only that it was debunked."

"That is true, but if it wasn't debunked I'd see him more as a closeted bisexual man, not gay."

"Why do you say that?" asked Spencer.

"Because people always forget about it. Bisexuality is real. He truly loved Mary with all his heart and would do anything for her, but I'm sure he questioned his sexuality at some point and just never went deeper into it."

You paused again, seeing if he was paying attention. You then turn back to face Lincoln and continued, "Take Freddie Mercury, for example. Now when he came out to his Mary, he came out as bisexual. But the public just took it as that he was gay because bisexuality wasn't seen by the public as a real sexuality, even Mary. It makes me angry at how long biphobia went on for. As someone who is bisexual, I don't want to feel like a ghost. I want to feel real."

Spencer slowly walks up behind you and puts a hand on your shoulder. He turns you around and you look up at him with glassy, pink-colored eyes. "Y/N, you are real. Everything about you is to me."

You put your hand on top of his, not breaking the look into each other's eyes. Or well, what you could see through his eyelids.

*The two of you then headed down the steps carefully and continue on your tour. But it slowly ended as you ended up walking down the empty streets. At one point, you ended up on cobble road. The two of you were pretty baked, as you would take more hits whenever no one was looking or there weren't too many people walking or driving. Spencer began to act like he was on a tight rope as he walked along parking blocks. He held your hand for support, trying not to fall and twist his ankle.

*You felt content. You never really experienced something like this before, but you always dreamt about it. You never really went out much when you were in school. You focused all your time in your room, working on schoolwork and keeping up with what Rossi was doing in the BAU and the cases they were working on. Rossi was like an idol to you. Ever since you met him, you wanted to do what he was doing; Saving people and getting the bad guys, protecting citizens. But you always dreamt of having an adventure like this with a true friend, and even though you had only known Spencer for a week now, he already was like that true friend.

*But you were also feeling something more. There was something about Spencer holding your hand that just felt...right. It was so hard to explain, even to yourself as you tried to figure out what you were feeling exactly. Maybe it was just the high you were feeling, but looking at his face, Spencer seemed to be quite cute. So cute, that you felt butterflies.

*He jumps off a parking block under a tall street lamp and grabs your other hand in his. He looks down to you as you look up. Finally, his lips lock with yours and you don't stop him. You kiss him back as your arms wrapped around each other, feeling every inch of each other's bodies.

Spencer breaks the kiss and cups your face in his hands. "Do you want to continue our little fun we had the other night?" he asked, almost in a raspy tone.

You nodded and kissed him again.

#spencer reid smut #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer x reader #fan fiction #criminal minds #criminal minds smut #criminal minds fanfiction #dr reid #dr spencer reid #matthew gray gubler

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lesbian-vmin · 3 years

Note

So out of all the maknae line ships do u think vmin is the most probable or do u just ship vmin and thats why u make analysis?

Maybe this ask doesn’t warrant a long answer? I think you’re just asking simply, but I got carried away.

I couldn’t say I think Vmin is the most probable out of the maknae line ships. On the big if there is a relationship within BTS (among the members), I think it’s possible that Vmin could be. However, I can see reason to believe that any of the other maknae line pairings (or nearly any BTS pairing) could be for that matter.

I think who seems the most ‘real’ to you can depend on a lot of things, and something that might make one pairing seem real to someone might make them not seem real to another. (The only way to know for sure who they are dating is they openly tell us. Then that makes it 100% real whether it’s someone in the group or not.)

For me, and the reason I make the analysis, I just like the way Vmin feel. It’s less about how I think they’re together and more about how I adore some things about their relationship. I like the way they feel to me better than I do with Jik**k or Taek**k (though I don’t have a problem with either pairing).

And when it comes to JK, I enjoy his ships with the hyung-line more. Because his relationship with Vmin (to me) sometimes feels a little less on the soft side, while Vmin feels very soft sometimes (though they have their not-so-soft moments - see ISAC 2017). The JK x hyung pairings feel softer than Jik**k or Taek**k.

If you don’t like the soft-feeling or ‘I’m dating my best friend’ kind of relationship, it would make sense that you wouldn’t ship Vmin. I know there are a lot of people who believe in the ‘friend-zone’ and who would never date their best friend. And that might be why a lot of people overlook vmin. Because they call each other their best friend all the time. However, my sister is married to her best friend, and I love the relationship she has with him. Two of my friends, who were best friends, are also married. And these two couples, out of all the couples I know, have the strongest relationships I know. So that’s probably why I enjoy Vmin over most other ships. Because their relationship matches those in my own life that I admire.

I’ve also been around since BTS debut. I’ve loved Vmin from the beginning, but they weren’t my favorite at the start. My favorite at first was J*nmin and N*mtae for Jimin and Taehyung ships. It was watching them over the years that made me like Vmin the most.

Personal reasons for shipping Vmin aside, they have very realistic reasons for us to ship them as well. (This may be something you can argue for any ship, but I’m not going to get into all that.) The songs are a big thing that gets me to feel like there’s something there.

I don’t think that every BTS song is something the group has personally experienced. They have a big part in writing their songs (probably more now than when they began), but they still have other people writing for them, too. Or helping them write, anyway. The lyrics come from many experiences (and this is true for nearly every musician. Many musicians write songs from other people’s experiences). I think there are songs that are less personal to them (though as BTS moves forward more and more songs feel more personal - probably as they take a bigger part in the creative process).

Anyway. Back to Vmin and songs. When a song is personal, it’s always the ones that BTS wrote themselves with relation to something specific about them. When 4 o’clock was first released, we didn’t get to hear a lot about it. Namjoon talked a little about helping Taehyung write the song, but we never got to hear anything from Taehyung about the song. It wasn’t until their Unit Interview about Friends that we heard anything from Taehyung. The only thing he gave us then was that the song was written about the dumpling incident, but he didn’t say anything else about the song. It was an interview about Friends, not about 4 o’clock, but he at least confirmed what Namjoon posted (and then deleted) back when 4 o’clock was originally released. It was about Jimin.

Then we have Taehyung announcing to everyone on Vlive that he wanted to sing a romantic duet (which he wrote) with Jimin, but one of their producers told him that he couldn’t do it because the lyrics wouldn’t make sense if it was two men singing it. They recommended one of the female composers who can also sing, and Taehyung showed a small part of the song with her singing the part that he presumably wanted Jimin to sing. During this live, he was clearly upset. If you’re any good at reading emotions at all, you can tell that he was upset talking about the song. Regardless if he and Jimin are in a relationship, and regardless if he is gay (we aren’t going to go into either one of those things), the producer denying his wish to sing the song with Jimin clearly hurt. Regardless of his reasons for wanting to sing with Jimin. And this becomes a Vmin song because he specifically said he wanted to share it with Jimin. Not one of his members. Not some other male artist. Jimin. (And him talking about this in the live sort of felt like an at least partially unfiltered act of rebellion).

And finally, we have Friends. A song with a platonic title, but some deep meaning lyrics. I’ll set the whole soulmate thing aside because that’s arguably platonic as well. It’s the lyrics like: “for eternity, keep staying here” “after the cheers die down, stay” “we are each other’s mysteries” “I know everything about you” And when they are given an opportunity to talk about these songs, they don’t really give us any information. Rather than talking about the actual lyrics of the song, Vmin used Friends as an excuse to reminisce about their old days. We don’t get to hear about them staying together. And we certainly don’t get to hear what’s so mysterious about them, because then it wouldn’t be special, right?

And now since I’m talking about the possibility of relationship between Vmin, I’m going to say this. It’s the fact that they write romantic-like lyrics about each other, but only brings up the friendly ones when talking about the songs. The closest thing we got to them talking about romantic lyrics was Taehyung complaining about being told that it wouldn’t make sense for Jimin to sing romantic lyrics with him.

As I’ve mentioned in an ask before. It feels like they want to put in meaningful lyrics to each other in the songs they release, but they try to keep it on a friendly level when talking about it. That’s not me saying that Vmin’s songs to and about each other (or the ones they wish to sing together) are hard evidence of a relationship. But it’s definitely something that shows a bond beyond a typical friendship.

I do appreciate all BTS pairings, however. And I can talk all day every day about any of them. It’s just that Vmin is the one that I resonate with the most. Although any ship can seem as realistic as they do depending on who’s observing and what they’re observing, I just like Vmin the best.

Thanks for the ask!

#answered #koala answers #vmin #vmin analysis #and is it just me or is dating your best friend more common in the lgbt community?#because a lot of my gay friends would or have or are dating their best friend #because like #a lot of us have to become best friends with someone to even know if they're gay #like straight people have it so easy #they can date someone they hardly know #but like #gay dating culture is a little different #isn't it?#it seems that way to me...#reasons #vmin songs

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