#they’ve been with me since my disability was declared

[momojedi]

when I’m sad and don’t know who to turn to, I just go back to my second family and prank the boys with Omega.

[jontheredrc]

Meet Eulipha Alpidt, from my upcoming novel Tenesoir Memoirs: Kyrinna! Alpidt is the doting, charming host of the Melaton Hollows inn. Don’t disobey her rules in her house, though...she doesn’t care if you’re a cop or a shapeshifter or both, she’ll throw you out herself!

Most of the settlements on Tenesoir’s middle continent are connected by a great underground waterway. This waterway starts in some natural cave formations high atop Mt. Sorrow, and the water flows from the mountains down along to some nearby towns. When the town of Melaton was formed, a group of miners began digging from their end to connect themselves to that same waterway. They even dug out a service station of sorts into a cliff face above their tunnel--mess hall, barracks, and all.

Unfortunately, disaster struck the service station, when subterranean creatures began to swarm in from below. When Phantoms were spotted in the mix, the facility was sealed away and declared off-limits. After all, the Phantoms are the most dangerous monsters on Tenesoir. But no seal lasts forever. Knowing this, the town came up with a plan: whoever could clear the place out and stop any future incursions could claim it as their own and do with it as they please. By the time word got out to all the evangelists and monster-hunters, though, the deed had already been done--by a lone combatant, even...

The victor was Eulipha Alpidt, a local woman armed only with the knives and spices in her kitchen. Since then, she’s turned the abandoned service station into a resort called the Melaton Hollows. She lives on the ground floor with her two adopted sons, Desman and Soric. From there, folks the world over have come to know Alpidt as friendly, gregarious, and always eager to help. When a disabled guest had difficulty navigating a stairwell, Alpidt gathered a crew to carve ramps into the facility, and then joined that crew herself. Whether travelers need a warm meal, a shoulder to cry on, or even a place to hide from the cops, Alpidt is more than happy to provide it.

But Alpidt was promised she’d be able to do with the facility as she pleases, and man, does she take that seriously. She’s very much a “you will follow my rules when you’re in my house” kind of person. She doesn’t have many rules to keep in mind--most of them boil down to “don’t be a dick to me, my family, or my other guests”--but she will enforce those rules with violence if need be. And, as implied above, she would even enforce these rules against law enforcement coming to arrest a criminal. As far as Alpidt’s concerned, as long as you do no wrong inside her inn, you’re simply a guest like all the others. Whatever may have happened outside is rarely if ever a concern to her.

Alpidt gets folded into the story of Tenesoir Memoirs when Kyrinna and her friends limp into Melaton. They’re desperate for a rest after the ordeals they’ve been through, and they come to Alpidt and her inn for that rest. She’s more than happy to have them. After all, one of Kyrinna’s alchemical recipes has reached Alpidt, only she’s turned Ky’s healing salve into bath water. But just how restful will the group’s stay be...?

[mattzerella-sticks]

Thoughts on "Carry On" after I've mulled it over:

Now that I've had time to sit on it, I can be a little more precise on my thoughts of this finale:

- Dean's 'ending': Taken out by a rusty nail... I hate it. Then I heard some opinions - without Chuck there were no magic fixes, and this was bound to happen if they continued hunting because of that. It was a human, ordinary, accidental death meaning the Winchesters are just ordinary. Still, being taken out by a nail or rebarb or whatever wasn't a satisfying death for Dean Winchester. Added to the fact he most certainly wanted to live (Miracle, job application, etc.) And he didn't want to hunt anymore either! He wasn't looking for hunts (like Sam was). They stumbled onto that hunt by accident.

From a writer's point of view, I can say now it makes sense with the plot of the episode (only). Dean's death was a catalyst - to give Sam 'freedom' and to show us, the audience, what Heaven was like now that Jack is God. His own sort of 'freedom', I guess.

Unfortunately the plot of the episode still sucked. Just because it makes sense 'story wise' (and I say that very loosely because Dean didn't even get his loose ends tied up nicely). A death during a hunt was something Dean figured would happen in his youth, and he didn't care because he practically was a ghost without many physical attachments. Now he has so many they decide to take him away and for what purpose? It is the last episode. A series finale should only hurt in saying goodbye to the characters, but not like this.

And a goodbye like this, for a character who has had suicidal tendencies and from the looks of it was moving past that, who never really thought about his wants until this moment, and who was on the cusp of being textually confirmed queer (which would have been monumental just saying), it felt like we as fans were stabbed by the rebarb. Which goes to show how much we love the character, one thing. And I think that's why they knew it would hurt. However, they were so wrapped up in this 'shock' they didn't think about any of the consequences listed above as to why this would hurt not only us but their legacy. They figured it'd be a bookend, only for a book whose story ended a decade ago.

- Cas: A one-sentence reference sucks. That's just it.

Fanfiction was mostly built around Cas, too, and I had a feeling they wouldn't show his rescue because leaving that to us would be a good gift. "Here, Cas is alive and human but we won't tell you how - our last fanfiction gap". But Cas's absence wasn't a fanfiction gap, it's a canyon. So much of this episode doesn't make sense without Cas. And, honestly, a good chunk of outrage could have been avoided if Misha was allowed to film (or, if rumors were true, if they left his scenes in). Like it's been proven the majority of fans love Cas, and Jensen and Jared love Misha, so not having him in the finale gives credence to, that the cast and crew might love Misha, TPTB certainly didn't. And doesn't that tarnish your legacy, that you have a man dedicate 12 years of his life to your show and this is how you repaid him? Even if they decided to 'no homo' Cas's declaration (which i doubt they would have because those optics are much worse) at least show it.

Which leads to why he wasn't included in the finale. If he was there, they'd have to have him and Dean talk. About that night, when Cas told Dean he loves him. And if they did, and had there be a reciprocal confession, I bet things on Tumblr would have felt a little different. An equal exchange instead of plain highway robbery.. Yes we would all still want Dean and Cas to live long, human lives, but at least Dean and Cas's emotional arcs were resolved by the SHOW WRITERS, whose job it is to do so. Not ours! But they never understood how to give Castiel good things. Clearly, they know how to make Castiel give good things (like creating Dean's perfect Heaven for him) but not receive them in kind (reciprocated love from Dean). By not having this, it plays exactly into the bury your gays trope we were all afraid of, even if Cas is back. Because he, a queer character, is still living his life for a character he believes doesn't love him back - even if Cas 'doesn't need to know if that's true'. The audience does, and I'm sure Misha did as well.

The writers set up such an easy win but what this finale did was put every character back to season one, and given Misha didn't show up until season 4, makes sense why he wasn't in this episode.

- Sam's life after Dean: Sam liked being a hunter. We had how many countless episodes show that? He enjoyed saving people, research, being a leader - he was good at it. Hell, they even made it a point to have him find someone in the life who understood what it was like to hunt and wrote a beautiful relationship that also gave disability rep.

Only they never followed through.

Like, with Dean, so much of this lead up was then tossed out the window by Sam starting a family, which he never had any indication he wanted to do in these later seasons. Since season 8, really. What we got was that he liked to hunt, he was good at it. He could have restarted the Men of Letters, America chapter, and made the hunters even more connected than before!

Not saying he didn't do that, but knowing how Sam was raised I doubt he would let himself hunt with a kid. So, by showing him marry and have Dean Jr., it's a non-textual confirmation he retired. Which, like with Dean's ending, didn't make sense with what he wanted. It felt like a "might as well" since Dean wasn't there any longer. Like, whats the point of doing something I love now that I don't have my brother with me?

Instead of leaving the Bunker he should have transformed it into a bustling center of activity so he wasn't alone. Extend the Winchester family further and become the hunters' patriarch. Eileen being the matriarch.

Which, circling back, Eileen should have had textual confirmation, too. They showed a brunette woman standing far back, and I get if the actress couldn't be there to film why they would do that. But why not show pictures of him and Eileen if they did marry? I mean, there's a giant picture of Sam with Dean, Mary, and John I DON'T remember them ever having. Why he would blow that up after having two previous episodes talk about how much of a bad father he is...

Sam's ending falls in the same vein as Dean's in that it's unsatisfactory and doesn't fit the character anymore. Not saying Sam didn't want this in the past, but we all saw him change. Hunting was in his blood, and he was fantastic at it. It used to be a way for him to hang with Dean but it would have also been good to see him carry on the legacy in Dean's honor. A better way then by naming his son Dean.

Which strikes another nail on the head. We have Dean, a subtextually queer/textually ambiguous sexuality character, die, and because of this Sam can go on and live the 'apple pie life'? Cas's confession scene wasn't homophobic, but damned if Sam didn't spend the thirty years after Dean's death yelling 'Straight Pride'.

Textually, giving characters a family is a common trope in these sort of epilogues. Harry Potter, Hunger Games, etc. A way to show they've moved on from trauma and are trying to be happy (albeit in a very antiquated way). But at least it fit with those characters and stories. This was Sam trying to be a person who he wasn't anymore, who clearly would rather be on the road hunting (given that ugly wig scene in the garage with Dean's Impala). Actually, worse, it felt like Sam was trying to live a life Dean always wanted. Which shows that even if he's alive Sam isn't happy with what his life was, he was content. He was waiting for death.

- Dean's time in Heaven: Like I said previously about Dean and his 'death', it makes sense to have Dean die early if the goal was to show how Heaven had been changed. Which hurts worse because that again reinforces how Dean's storyline truly is left unresolved for plot development.

And, honestly, they should have cut this entire sequence if they weren't gonna have the cameos. They should have changed the script so that Dean didn't die, because there was no emotional pay-off of Dean going to heaven. We're told it's freedom, however it's more like a waiting room. For Dean, driving endlessly until Sam dies. And for us, being told we can't start writing until Sam gets there and we finish his montage.

Like, is it beautiful that Jack and Cas remade heaven so Dean would be happy? Yes. Did I need to know this until like maybe the last few minutes? No. Dean could have lived a long life, with Cas/without Cas, and then die first and be taken to Heaven. And then after Bobby gives him the rundown, about how time works differently here, we get the Sam end of life and see him pop up too. And when Sam asks what happened to Heaven, Dean could have clapped him on the back and told him he'd explain in the car and they drive away knowing they lived a good life, and have eternity of peace.

Because having Heaven be an open sandbox, for us, to let characters roam free and see those they love without them being memories - beautiful and exactly how Heaven should be. It definitely is something we as writers would have enjoyed if we didn't get it how we did.

Because it hadn't felt like Dean nor Sam deserved the deaths they got. Making Heaven, ultimate freedom, seem such a dangerous idea. That the only true peace is in death (Dean) and life is spent waiting for death so you can be reunited (Sam). What about any of that makes it seem like any of what Sam and Dean did was worth it? Was good? At least on Earth. Sure, without them (and Cas and Jack) Heaven wouldn't be the way it was. But that doesn't seem like a good reward for them. Their reward should have been living long lives (both of them) and them buttoning it with those five to seven minutes of how Heaven changed (more if they decided to leave Cas as an angel despite that being, again, zero character growth and not aligning with how the story was unfolding)

And after a painful, undeserved death, we get Dean in Heaven but still not happy? It was clear Dean was still waiting to let himself enjoy seeing all his family, his friends, Cas, because Sam wasn't there. Which shows he hadn't broken the sacrificial cycle because he's not putting himself first! "Oh but he has eternity to do it!" Yes, but he shouldn't have had to wait still. His whole life has been spent waiting and he gets killed just before he gets his due, and we never see him particularly 'enjoy' his reward, which is too tragic for a series finale. "He could have done more than drive, we don't know!" Yes, but if they're not showing it then why should I read into it? This finale isn't deep. "But covid-" Yeah, I get that. They should have changed the script because without those cameos Dean's time in Heaven was more than pointless and this whole finale was just an exercise in how to hate your main characters.

What this boils down to is that we, as fans, were told that this was for us, except we already knew Heaven was ours because Heaven was supposed to be the implied. Heaven is whatever we make of it. We didn't need to be told this through the show. Having this be the goal of this episode, of the finale - which sums up the goal of the entire series, really - be totally focused on the life we get after death instead of doing the most to make life on Earth paradise for you, was rotten. And Sam's 'happily ever after' was cheapened because of Dean's death.

- Family Don't End in Blood?: Taking into account all of the above, the show has failed the core message of what we as a fandom loved. Family don't end in blood.

Again, I get that covid stole any chance of reunions in Heaven, but it also stole so many others. Like Sam wouldn't have called Garth, Jody, Donna, the girls and Eileen, to have them here for Dean's funeral? Sam wouldn't have burned Dean alone! We know there was some time that passed since the hunt and Dean's funeral by the dog being there, but it should have been more people. Which, again, they should have axed it from the story if they couldn't get them because, like these side characters have done from the beginning, they change the context of the show! Sam's loneliness would have hit harder if it was a room full of people all telling stories about Dean to then just him, alone, in the Bunker trying to move on.

The writers thought we didn't need all these cameos, but we did because - as we keep repeating - while the show, at its heart, is Sam and Dean, there were so many more people who gave their characters depth and allowed for this show to continue. It should have been a celebration of who the boys became and how it was through these bonds they were able to overcome so much.

Which, if redone in that context, Dean's speech to Sam could have been so much better. More poignant and hopeful instead of sad. I mean, I could barely focus on what was being said because I was in too much shock of what was being done to Dean. If they had a similar speech, given with Dean and Sam parting ways to start new lives. Dean reminding Sam he's done so much good, that he's proud of his brother and knows he can do so much even without him, the emotional beat would have still hit! Probably even better than with his death. Because my takeaway from Dean's death isn't "Dean is proud of Sam" it's "Dean died stupidly".

Going to show that this entire script was a series of choices that were all the worst possible outcome, stitched together and handed in. It didn't feel congruent to the story and, instead, a bunch of items checked off of a list the writers were given. It didn't feel like the culmination of the series like we were promised, instead a 'what if the show skipped fourteen years after season 2, John's dead, Mom's killer dead, and no demon deal'. It felt like (even if it wasn't intended) the writers telling us "don't expect people to change or that happy ending exist in life" which, given current climates and attitudes, is dangerous.

Overall:

They were trying to satisfy an audience built around fandom and fanworks, they wanted to leave so much "up to interpretation" so we can continue crafting our narratives through this open sandbox. What they failed to consider is that we don't care where the brothers, or any of the characters, physically are in this show, we care more about the characters themselves and their emotional goals. That's why we write fanfiction. That's why there's a lot of canon divergence. We thank them for the world and play around in it. So, by giving Sam and Dean these 'half-lives' on screen, letting loose threads hang so we, as an audience, can fill in the blanks (Dean and Cas's heaven reunion, who Sam married, what Dean did while driving for fifty years, etc.) was a poor and lazy decision because we are tired of having to do your job! Supernatural is a collaborative effort yes, but they misunderstood the assignment. We still need textual goalposts, like seeing Cas or Eileen. We needed them to finish what they were saying, so we could then take over and continue the story.

A series finale should feel poignant but the only really emotional moment was Dean's death (not for good reasons), and the rest was filler. Your series finale should not feel like filler. It felt rushed. It felt sloppy and - because of not including a certain character - plain rude. Just... it didn't work. The short of it is that the finale, as a whole, didn't work. It didn't wrap the show up in its entirety like we were promised it would. And if they do revive this show for a mini-series or movie, they best forget what happened in episode 20.

[closedafterdark]

Bonds

WJSN Son Jooyeon x Male Reader

10580 words

categories: smut, oral, detective! eunseo

Read on AFF

Three days have passed since your closest friend and original partner Detective Lee Luda went on the run and was declared a fugitive. Emotions ran high in the precinct once everyone was briefed on what occurred that night. Jiyeon was currently in the hospital recovering after receiving a non life threatening bullet to the leg by Luda. You spent the past three days staying by her side, feeding her a poor excuse of hospital food and updating her on what occurred during her absence.

You returned to the precinct this morning with a heavy heart. You were in total communication blackout during those 72 hours. Unsure of what people were going to say or how they would react. The moment you exited the elevator and entered the bullpen, everyone’s eyes were on you.

“Oppa…”

Son Jooyeon was the first to greet you, pulling you in for one of her death squeeze hugs. After you had to softly pull her away from you, the others offered kind words: happy that you’ve returned to work while also giving you hugs. Lieutenant Hyunjung burst into tears when it was her turn to greet you. Like everyone said, the squad is a family. And right now, that family’s trust is being put to the test now that one of their own went rogue.

Captain Sojung exits her office and is staring at you with a stone faced expression. Most of the time you never were able to tell how she was feeling since her face was always emotionless, like a robot. This time however, you knew.

“My office. Now”

The temperature in the room dropped drastically after what she said. Detectives Jinsook and Dayoung rubbed their arms and huddled together. All eyes returned onto you once again. You smiled at them, tapping Jooyeon’s shoulder softly before entering the captain’s office.

“Have a seat”

You were extremely nervous. On any other day, you would’ve been fine with entering the office. But this time, you knew there were consequences for your actions.

“Where do I begin? You blatantly ignore a direct order from me causing me to send uniformed officers to where you were at. The best part? You let the fugitive get away!” Captain Sojung finishes her statement while laughing. Part of you wishes you were still in the hospital with Jiyeon.

“Why the hell did you let her get away!”

Captain Sojung slams her palm onto the table, causing you to jump slightly. Even though the door was closed, everyone outside could hear what was going on. You’ve never seen the Captain so furious.

“I told you to stay at the precinct as backup. So what do you do? You go to where Luda was!”

After taking a deep breath, you respond.

“Captain, I take full responsibility. But it wasn’t just me who went. The whole squad did, even the Lieutenant. The squad is my family. I’ll do anything for them. Don’t tell me you wouldn’t do the same”

Captain Sojung listens to you attentively, her facial expression betraying her emotions.

“You’re right” she sighed. “We are a family. I would take a bullet for any of you. But at the same time, you disobeyed me. Even though it was the right decision, our superiors are not happy”

“Weren’t you the one who always told me to trust my own instincts?” You said.

“How are you and Jiyeon?”

You froze up. You didn’t expect the captain to ask you that question.

“How long have you known?”

“Long enough. It was only a matter of time before you two got together. I’m happy for you both”

“Thanks” you replied.

“So how is she?”

“Good. The gunshot wasn’t too deep, doctor wanted to keep her at the hospital for three more days just to be safe”

“Oppa”

“Hmm?” You were surprised to hear you call her anything other than detective while in the workplace.

“Jiyeon’s a strong girl. Whatever it is, you guys will get through it”

She smiles at you. You return in kind.

“Now unfortunately, I can’t look past your actions. The Deputy Chief is ordering me to give you a punishment. You’re suspended one week. I’ll need your badge and gun”

You hand her both without a fight. Neither you nor Sojung wanted to be in this position. But it had to be done.

“I’m sorry, oppa” she says to you as you bow and exit the room.

While you’re exiting the room, Luda’s last words rang through your mind.

“I’ll see you guys in a week” you say to everyone as they see you closing the door of the captain’s office. You bow to everyone before heading to the elevator.

Jooyeon wanted to say something to you, but figured you had a lot on your mind. She sighs as the elevator doors close, removing you from view as it begins to lower.

“Detective, come see this”

Jooyeon turns around to see Detective Jinsook waving her hand to get her to come to her desk. Once she arrives, Jinsook plays a video.

“This is the footage we received from Gangnam Precinct. Around the same time we were dealing with Luda unnie”

The video plays, showing an explosive being detonated in a cell. The explosion automatically triggered the prison’s automatic opening feature. Four women are seen escaping the cell adjacent, with two of them attacking the approaching security guards. Their movements were swift, easily overpowering the men. The other two: a brunette and a woman with red hair, go around and disable all nearby security footage. Before they could do so however, the two who took down the guards briefly have their faces shown on camera.

“Pause it” Jooyeon said.

Jinsook obeys, pausing the video. The two women’s faces were clearly seen, there was a lack of empathy in their eyes.

“Who are they?”

“Facial recognition gave us two matches. The smaller woman is Kim Jisoo. 25 years old. The taller person next to her with platinum blonde hair is Park Chaeyoung. A foreign born Korean. 23 years old. She goes by the nickname “Rosé” Jinsook replies as she hands Jooyeon the case file.

“What about the other two?”

“CCTV wasn’t able to identify them. One of the officers in Gangnam has a contact inside. From what they were told, the four of them basically ran the prison. They referred to themselves as “BlackPink”. Jisoo and Chaeyoung were the pink side: seemingly innocent yet able to kill without ever changing a shade. We can assume the other two were on the black side of things: ruthless, zero disregard for whoever gets in their way. The four of them would seduce various guards in order to get items from the outside or special food in the prison”

“Any sign of them since the escape?”

“Nothing at all” Jinsook said, shaking her head. “They’ve basically gone off the grid”

“Keep going through the footage. There has to be something we can use to find their whereabouts” Jooyeon said.

As Jooyeon’s heels made noise with every step she took, a chair whirls by the moment she finally sits down on her chair.

“Can I help you, Detective Dayoung?”

“Unnie, I’m hurt. Why are you speaking so formally?” Dayoung asks her, pouting.

“What’s up?” Jooyeon says with a laugh as even she couldn’t resist Dayoung’s cute charm and pinched her cheek softly.

“There’s no trace of Luda unnie yet” Dayoung said as she rubs her cheek. “Not to mention we don’t know how and why she cryogenically froze the entire marketing department of IZ*ONE Company. Most of them were discharged except for the 3 who came into the precinct that morning. Jiyeon unnie’s bullets may have had a negative effect during the defrosting”

“Any news on the patients?” Jooyeon asked as she fixed her glasses, a serious expression on her face.

“None. It’s out of our hands now, Interpol is handling it”

“What do I do now?” You asked yourself the moment you exit the precinct. You feel the light wind blow past you and stare up at the sky, for probably longer than you should’ve since your corneas began to burn from the sun. After closing your eyes, you see red circles. You look at your phone and decide it would be best to visit Jiyeon at the hospital.

You stopped by a flower shop on the way to the hospital. It was a small, intimate boutique. As you knew absolutely nothing about flowers other than they die from neglect, you definitely didn’t know what you were doing.

“Do you need help, sir?”

A beautiful woman approaches you. Her voice was cute with just the slightest hint of an accent. Her jet black hair flowed gracefully, not a single one out of place. The smokey eye makeup and pink tint colored lipstick accentuated her exotic features. She wore a simple beige sweater with a jacket serving as outerwear. Even the apron she was wearing looked beautiful on her, as crazy as it sounds. Her eyes were hypnotic, you couldn’t help but keep staring as you felt them gaze into your soul.

“Sir, do you need any help?”

“Hmm? O-oh, right. Yes, I’m going to visit someone special and was wondering what flower would be good to bring” you replied as you beat yourself up mentally at getting caught staring.

“Does she have a favorite color?” the florist asked you.

“She likes pink, red, black and white”

“So she likes black and pink…” the florist said to herself silently.

“I’m sorry?”

“Oh, nothing. Just talking to myself. It helps pass the time” she said to you. “Why don’t you try these. White roses”

“They look lovely” you said, taking a single one from her and smelling it. “What do they represent?”

“They represent a lot of things, actually” she replies with a delicate laugh. “White roses are known to often represent purity, innocence and youthfulness. They sometimes are referred to as bridal roses because of their association with young love and eternal loyalty”

“Wow” you said when she finished talking. You didn’t notice how close you and her now were, your hand on top of hers. You both realize how close the proximity is and separate, turning away from each other. You place the back of your hand on your face, feeling your internal temperature increase. Both of you take a few seconds to regain composure before facing each other.

“That sounds perfect. I’ll take a dozen” you say, your voice slightly cracking.

“Yes, sir” the florist says, smiling brightly at you as her eyes form half moons.

She took her time when wrapping the bouquet, each rose placed tenderly on the wrapping paper before being wrapped once more by a colorless plastic. She ties a black ribbon on the bouquet before handing it to you.

“And here you are sir” she said, extending both arms to give you the roses. You found it insane how smitten you became from a person you barely just met. “Your wife will be very lucky to receive these”

“They’re actually for my girlfriend” you chuckled, taking the bouquet from her. “She’s not my wife, yet”

“I see. Well, she’s very lucky to have such a kind and thoughtful boyfriend then” the florist said to you.

You were about to exit the boutique before she said something.

“Sir, wait!”

You turned around and looked at her.

“There’s one more thing the roses represent”

“What is it?”

“White roses can also symbolize a new beginning and everlasting love. Thank you for coming, and goodluck”

Upon exiting the flower shop, you reach into your pocket and pull out a black box made out of a soft cloth like material. You open it and look at the contents inside with a smile.

“Here we go”

You enter through the hospital with heavy steps. As you navigate through the large seemingly never ending hallways, you’re greeted by the many nurses you have gotten to know over the past few days. You finally reach your destination. Slapping yourself on the face a few times, you try to get your blood boiling and pump yourself up. Pressing the button to open the door, you enter the room.

Jiyeon’s bed was raised so that she was sitting upwards. You saw her laughing, pointing her spoon at the television while holding a jello cup in her hand. She sees you approaching and gulps down the jello in her mouth, frantically finding the remote control to mute the television.

“Hi baby” she said to you as you leaned down and gave her a kiss.

“Got you a little something. Your favorite bibimbap extra spicy… and these” you said, handing her the bouquet.

“Oh babe, you shouldn’t have” she said, instantly smelling the roses. “I’m happy you did though. And they’re in one of my favorite colors”

“Yeah, I gotta thank the florist for helping me out with these. She really picked out the right ones”

“How’s everyone at the precinct?” she asked you as she put the flowers down on her table.

“Everyone’s worried about you and glad I returned. Tensions are still high because of Luda but for the most part, still in good spirits” you said, removing your jacket and pulling a chair towards her bedside.

“Captain told me what happened this morning” Jiyeon said as she took your hand into hers.

“Ah, I wanted to tell you first. It’s okay though, the squad will be fine without me. I was the one who insisted in helping out Luda”

“Any word on her whereabouts?”

“None. Hey babe, did you happen to hear what she said before she escaped?”

“Who, Luda? I probably already passed out, why?”

“Well, besides saying she had to find Xuanyi, she also said to not trust anyone in the squad” you said.

“Do you believe her?”

“I-I don’t know. The squad is our family. But for Luda to do something like this, she must have her reasons. There’s no way she could’ve done this without any help”

“So you think there’s a mole in the squad?” Jiyeon asked you as she put on her glasses. From her tone, you knew you had to choose your words carefully.

“I’m just saying we have to assess all our options. How in the world was she able to steal guns and other evidence from lockup? She can’t be doing this just because she thinks you were the reason Xuanyi and the others were transferred”

“Baby, are you sure? Think about what you’re saying. We can’t just go up to everyone and ask if they’re a mole. There has to be another reason” Jiyeon replied as she began rubbing her chin.

“It was just a suggestion. Although you do seem a bit worked up. Baby, is there something you aren’t telling me?” you asked.

Jiyeon looked up at you, her eyes widening at what she just heard. “Excuse me?”

“I mean, when we all split up you wanted us to cover a different area by ourselves while the others had a partner. Not to mention I found you and Luda alone in the cryogenic vault”

“Are you insinuating that I might secretly be working for Luda and know something about the kidnapping?”

“No, I-”

“Even before you and I became boyfriend and girlfriend, we are partners. I can’t believe you would accuse me of being a criminal” Jiyeon’s voice gradually became louder. Tears started to well in her eyes as she looked at you.

“That’s not what I’m saying-”

“I think you should leave”

“What?”

“This is all too much for me to handle. I’m tired” she said to you as she lowered the bed and turned on her side to face the window. “Maybe this isn’t working”

“What? What are you saying?” you asked her.

“I think… we should spend some time apart”

“Is this what you want?”

“It is”

You were heartbroken. You didn’t expect the visit to the hospital to end this way. Jiyeon’s words echoed through your mind. Did you really believe she could aid Luda? Were you accusing your own girlfriend of a crime without evidence? Luda’s words about not trusting anyone in the squad even had you questioning your significant other.

“Okay” was all you said. “My phone’s always on whenever you want to talk”

Jiyeon didn’t reply, adjusting herself on the bed as you headed for the door.

“I love you, Jiyeon”

“Five, four, three, two, and…”

Upbeat disco music can be heard playing through the speakers. An ocean of leggings and sports bras as far as the eye can see filled up the room as a hybrid Pilates and zumba class was being held.

“Step. And step. And knees around the world”

Detective Son Jooyeon was beginning to breathe heavily while keeping up with the class. She was far from out of shape, but certainly wasn’t used to this higher intensity workout. She preferred her usual Pilates class, but when a friend of hers named Park Sooyoung told her about this place and hyped it up to no end, she had to check what the fuss was about.

“Great form unnie, I’m so jealous of your abs” Jooyeon turns to her side and sees Detective Jinsook next to her.

“Jinsook, what are you doing here?”

“We needed to talk somewhere outside the precinct” said a voice coming from Jooyeon’s right side. She looks and sees Lieutenant Hyunjung following the teacher’s instruction.

“Lieutenant, you’re here too? Amazing” Jooyeon said as they all began doing lunges.

“Unnie, we discovered something while going through some old precinct files. We have reason to believe Luda may have had some help” Jinsook said in a slightly out of breath tone.

“Are you saying it was an inside job?”

“Don’t stop doing your lunges!”

“Sorry, ma’am” Jinsook replied, raising her hand to apologize.

“It makes no sense why Luda would respond to the emergency call if her only plan was to find Xuanyi and the others”

“And squat… and hold… and work those quads”

“Think about it, detective. If Luda had help on the inside, the distress call would give them enough time to be able to hack into the database and leak out whatever evidence other precincts had on various inmates. If any criminals were wrongfully locked up simply based on the fact that they were criminals, all the dirt would be exposed that not all cops are good” Lieutenant Hyunjung said.

“Turn it! Get down”

All three turn to their left side and squat once more.

“Why is this workout so difficult? Do I even have quads?” Jinsook whined.

“And turn around once more”

“Normally, we’d report this to internal affairs. But since this case is seeming to be bigger than just a mole within our precinct, we need concrete evidence in order to prove Luda has help on the inside” Jooyeon said.

Unbeknownst to the three of them, another woman with powerful thighs was listening in to the conversation. She had a phone in her pocket that was recording everything.

“And hula hand”

“If we’re gonna do this, we’ll need all the help we can get” Jooyeon said to the others.

“I’ll make some calls” Jinsook replied.

“Same here” the Lieutenant said. “I think it’s time we visited a few other precincts”

“Do you have any in mind?” Jooyeon asked.

“I do. A girl I trained with in the academy is a Lieutenant at the Dreamcatcher precinct”

“I do too! My partner during my rookie days in the academy became a detective a few years ago. She’s Chinese born so she definitely knows a lot of overseas contacts” Jinsook said cheerfully.

The one hour class finally ended. Jooyeon was exhausted, now she knew why it was regarded as one of the best high intensity workouts  in the area. She grabs her bag and an insulated stainless steel water bottle from the shelf near the exit and sits on one of the yoga mats on the floor. She grabs her phone from one of the side pockets and checks it. A bunch of SNS notifications and texts from the precinct group chat. Jooyeon noticed that you and Jiyeon haven’t replied to any of the messages since the night of the incident.

Remembering Jinsook’s compliment about how her abs looked, she sat in front of a mirror. Wanting to show the beside of herself, she fixed her bangs and wiped off the sweat from her arms and face before turning her head to the side slightly and taking a mirror selfie, puckering her lips slightly to resemble a duck.

Grinning widely at how it turned out, she took the photo and began to compose a message. It took several minutes before she was satisfied with what she wrote. There was constantly typing only for it to be deleted seconds later. After what seemed like a lifetime, Jooyeon settled on a message she was satisfied with.

“Oppa! Hope everything’s alright. I just finished pilates with the Lieutenant and Jinsook. Don’t I look cute? I miss you ♡”

Jooyeon screamed in horror after she hit send. She deleted the text chain, flipping her phone over in embarrassment. Not even 30 seconds later, a new message was received. She picked up her phone and raised it.

“Hey, everything’s alright. Glad you guys got to spend time out of work. Hey speaking of which, do you happen to be free today?” your message read.

“Of course! I got the next few days off (: “

“Great. I’ll pick you up at 5?”

“So early haha. But sure, I can’t wait”

“See you then. Also… I miss you too Jooyeon”

She could barely contain her excitement upon reading the last message. Holding her phone to her chest, Jooyeon was giddy as she gathered her belongings and exited the room to quickly get home and freshen up.

“See you then. Also… I miss you too Jooyeon” [Read 2:40 PM]

You looked at your phone and smiled. You and Jooyeon hadn’t just hung out with it being just the two of you in quite some time. You sighed deeply and fell back onto your bed. Staring at the ceiling, you thought about what Jiyeon said. You lost her trust in you. But at the same time, she didn’t really give you a chance to express your side more. You weren’t sure how to feel about things. Hopefully hanging out with Jooyeon will lift your spirits.

Monsoon season was beginning to end in Seoul. Humidity continued to be the death of you, though. You kept your outfit simple: a white tee and a pair of black joggers. You found a pair of shoes hidden under your bed that you don’t remember buying. They fit, albeit a bit snug. You figured they would feel better after breaking them in. Looking at your watch, you hold a bouquet of roses and smile. You feel a tap on your shoulder and turn around.

“Oppa”

Son Jooyeon greets you a wide smile on her face. You stood there like an idiot, stunned briefly at how beautiful her smile was. Jooyeon’s face was small and perfect. Compared to some of the other members of the squad, she was on the taller side. Her body was perfectly slim and contained model-like proportions. You were surprised companies weren’t trying to scout her. Jooyeon was always enthusiastic about whatever task she did, the public speaking courses she took definitely helped her refine her speech and be confident whenever she needed to speak to uncooperative witnesses and suspects.

Beautiful. Intellectual. Charming. If someone were to ask you to describe Jooyeon, these are the three words you would use. Her beauty knew no bounds.

Son Jooyeon chose to wear a simple outfit as well. Her light blue jeans hugged her wide hips and clung onto her lower body almost as if it was made just for her. The white tank top she had on showed off as much of her milky skin as possible without it being too provocative. The top ended perfectly above her stomach, showing off the faintest indentation of abs and giving you a full view of her midriff. She complimented her look with white feather earrings, white high heels and rose pink lipstick.

“Wow” was all you said to her.

“You’re pretty wow yourself” she giggled. “Are those for me?”

Jooyeon pointed to the flowers you were holding. “Oh yeah, here. I got them from a flower shop nearby”

“Thank you, oppa. They look beautiful” she smiled as she shook her head back and forth slightly, inhaling the scent of the roses.

“You look beautiful, Jooyeon” you blurted out.

You put a hand on the back of your neck and rubbed it slightly. Jooyeon saw you and laughed.

“That’s the first time you’ve ever told me that. Thank you”

“So what do you wanna do?” you asked her.

Jooyeon’s stomach growled as her response.

You both laughed. “It’s a bit too early for dinner” you said, looking at your watch. “There’s a convenience store nearby where we can get some snacks though”

“Let’s go!” Jooyeon cheered as she pointed forwards. You nodded, extending your hand out to let her lead the way. Jooyeon surprised you by taking your arm and linking it with hers as you two walked.

“Welcome”

You and Jooyeon enter the convenience store and head to the frozen section. She picks out various ice cream cones. After a childish argument over who was going to pay, you momentarily distract her by tapping her shoulder and putting the items down on the counter. Jooyeon looked around to see who tapped her shoulder and once she realized it was a joke, saw she was too late and you already paid for the snacks.

“Here you go sir” the cashier said as she handed you the bag full of treats.

“Thank you” You and Jooyeon are about to leave when the cashier speaks.

“Sir, I’m sorry to bother. But you look familiar”

“I get that alot” you say, laughing. “But likewise to you”

“Do you happen to know someone by the name of Kim Minji?” she asks.

“Y-yeah. She’s my ex girlfriend. We used to work together at a convenience store like this one”

“Ah, I see. She’s spoken highly of you. Well, here’s her card. She’s the president of Dreamcatcher Company”

You take the card. The business card had Minji’s information as well as a giant dreamcatcher on the side.

“Well thank you, miss… Lee Yubin” you say while squinting.

You both walk for a bit until you find a restaurant Jiyeon wanted to try. Being a gentleman, you prepared a chair for Jooyeon who thanks you in kind. The vibe in the restaurant was very cozy, lots of potted plants and dim overhead lighting. As Jooyeon looked at the various sauces that lined the table near the window, you looked through the menu. The place prides itself in bringing the flavors of Southeast Asia to Korea.

“I’ve never had this kind of food before, what is good?” Jooyeon asked you as she struggled to pronounce some of the dish names.

“Neither have I” you replied. “But I hear the spring rolls are good. And this noodle dish called mee rebus sounds good too”

“Sounds interesting. Ooh, what’s this? It’s called… sisig. Apparently it’s pork mixed with a few vegetables and spices. Oppa, let’s order that too”

You laughed as the waiter came to your table. Reciting the things you both wanted to order, the waiter took the menus afterwards and left.

“So how are you and Jiyeon unnie?” Jooyeon asked as she sips on a glass of water.

“We’re good” you replied.

“Ah, oppa I know when you’re lying. Your voice gets all deep and you can’t maintain eye contact”

“I’m not lying”

“Oppa”

“Jiyeon and I are on a break” you said with a heavy heart. “It was a misunderstanding. I might have… alluded to her that I thought she was helping Luda”

“Oh no. Did she listen to your side of the story?”

“She never gave me the chance to explain myself before kicking me out and saying she needed a break”

The food arrives and you two dig in. Jooyeon was a heavy eater, the snacks you bought her at the convenience store made her even hungrier. She didn’t even bother offering you any food before grabbing the container of rice and putting a bunch on her plate. You smiled, thinking how someone as fit as Jooyeon could eat enough food for four people.

She looks up and sees you. “Oh… I’m sorry oppa. I haven’t been eating too much because of work and got a bit carried away”

“Don’t worry about me. Eat”

Jooyeon nods, her eyes smiling at you as she savors the food. You weren’t used to seeing the cute side of her. At the precinct, she was rather curt and focused only on work.

“So what do you want to do after this?” you asked her as you slurped on your bowl of noodles.

“I was thinking we could go catch a movie. Maybe see a rerun of an Avengers movie?” she said, burping rather loudly. She covered her mouth in embarrassment while you laughed.

“That sounds great” you replied, taking a napkin and wiping the corner of her lips.

The theater was rather empty since it was a weekday. After purchasing tickets, Jooyeon insisted the movie wouldn’t be complete without popcorn and soda. How she had room left for food was beyond you. There was a mini arcade inside the movie theater so you chose to play a game of basketball and air hockey before the movie started.

When the movie finally started, you both were at your reserved seats. Jooyeon kept stuffing popcorn into her face, her eyes glued onto the screen. You were watching the movie as well, but caught yourself sneaking glances at her. It made you happy seeing Jooyeon happy. Both of you reached for the same kernels of popcorn at the same time. This causes you both to retract your hands and look away. You cleared your already clear throat, trying to eliminate the awkwardness.

“The ending always gets me” Jooyeon said to you as you both exited the theater.

“How so?”

“It really felt like the Avengers lost. Thanos collected all the Infinity Stones and wiped out half of all life”

“Well yeah, but we know how the next one ends” you said. She gently nudged your shoulder before putting her arm inside yours.

“Thanks for hanging out with me today, I really needed this” you said to Jooyeon as the car was parked at her apartment’s basement parking.

“Me too, oppa. We need to do more of these”

“Let me know whenever you want to hangout again” you smiled at her, unlocking the car doors.

Jooyeon was about to reach for the door handle before she turned to you. 

“Oppa. Do you… want to come upstairs?”

Jooyeon’s apartment was cozy. While it wasn’t as large as Jiyeon’s, it wasn’t a cramped studio apartment either. It was very bright. Both from the color of the walls and the string of lights that decorated the room. You realized this was the first time you visited a member of the squad’s residence other than Jiyeon’s.

“Make yourself at home” Jooyeon said as she tossed her purse on the couch and went to the refrigerator. “Do you want anything to eat?”

“You’re still hungry?” you laughed while asking her.

“A girl’s gotta eat” she said as she plopped her body next to you. You felt yourself getting a bit flushed, but composed yourself.

“Nice place you have here” you said, twiddling your thumbs.

“Thanks. It’s not much, but it’s home”

“How long have you been living here for?” you asked.

“Few years now. I’ve thought about moving out but this place has too many memories” Jooyeon said.

“I can see that”

“Oppa” you stared into Jooyeon’s brown eyes. Her gaze changed. No longer was it bright and happy.

“Do you know why I asked you to come here?”

“No, I don’t. Did you want me to see your apartment”

“No silly” Jooyeon sighed. “I’ll just be straightforward. I really like you oppa”

“Wow” was all you could say.

“I know you’re dating Jiyeon unnie. But I wanted to make my feelings known”

“I-I think I should go” you said, putting the water bottle down and beginning to get up from the couch.

You felt Jooyeon’s hand grab onto your wrist softly. Her eyes were pleading at you. As tough a girl as Jooyeon was, you never saw her let down her guard to anyone.

“Please, oppa. Don’t go. Stay. I… want to make another memory with you here”

A million thoughts raced through your mind at once. You knew that you couldn’t see what the future had in store, but it definitely wasn’t this. Was this really happening? Are you sure you weren’t dreaming?

“You want me to stay here tonight?” you asked her nervously, your voice reaching a higher pitch than normal.

“Is that okay with you?”

“I- I don’t know…”

“I just… don’t want to be alone tonight” Jooyeon said, lightly squeezing on the water bottle before taking another gulp.

“Jooyeon…”

“It’s just… this is the first date I’ve been on in awhile. And it’s someone I really like. I… I don’t know” she said.

“This was a date?” you asked.

“I mean… wasn’t it?” she said, making you doubt what today truly was. “We had dinner and a movie. And you took me home. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say it was a first date”

You took a sip of water as you began to process the whirlwind that occurred the past 30 seconds. Were you on a date with Jooyeon?

“So you’ll stay then?” she timidly asked.

You nodded.

“Great. Then can you turn the aircon on? It’s getting pretty stuffy in here” she said, grinning.

You walked over to her thermostat, setting the temperature from 72 to a cool 63. You were about to sit down on the couch next to her when she suddenly got up and put her hand in yours. Not speaking a single word, she lead you to her bedroom.

“Sit” she said as she pushed your body down onto her bed. You were surprised at how Jooyeon’s bed was able to fit in her room since it took up almost 70% of it. Her room was mostly empty, a vanity area at one corner and a small desk with a laptop and various photos at another. A flatscreen television was placed on the wall in front of her bed.

“Make yourself comfortable” she said, repeating her words earlier when you sat on the couch. “I’m gonna change really quick”

Unsure of what to do to pass the time, you looked through your phone. You didn’t have any unread messages so you decided to watch a few videos to pass the time. Eventually, you hear the sound of a faucet being turned off. A tapping noise near the doorframe is what gets your attention diverted from a currently playing video.

Awaiting you was Detective Son Jooyeon dressed in a police officer cosplay. You think. She wore a pair of black shorts that complimented her hips well. A black blazer could be seen covering a button up shirt that was tailored to show off her midriff. The loose fitting black tie that went along with the outfit covered her belly button. She wore a police officer cap like the ones you saw on tv, holding a toy gun in her delicate hand.

She looked at you, her gaze oozing pure seduction. The twinkle in her eyes shined with a burning passion.

“Jooyeon, what are you-”

“Quiet. Someone’s been a very bad boy…”

She grabbed a baton from behind her and poked it on your chest, pushing you onto the bed. She quickly straddled your lap. You both said nothing and just stared at each other. Before you knew it, she leaned closer and closer to you until your faces were only a few inches apart. You could feel her soft breaths on your face. You smelled mint whenever she did, assuming she brushed her teeth before returning to the room. Her thin, pink lips glistened thanks to the light in the room. You were confused, nervous and yet somehow aroused at the beautiful woman sitting on top of you at the moment.

“Jooyeon” you asked quietly, feeling her hands hold onto your shoulders for support.

“Yes” she replied.

“Are you… trying to make the first move on me?”

“What gave you that idea?” she asked, her voice lowering in register.

“It’s just that you’re… you know, on top of me”

“Kiss me”

“What?”

“Kiss me, oppa”

Without a second thought, you closed your eyes and gently pressed your lips against hers. The feeling the moment you both connected sent a jolt of electricity across your entire body. It was insane to think about. Jooyeon cupped your face and pulled you closer to her. Not a single thought went through your mind. Your body reacted on its own, feeling the tender, passionate kiss you two were beginning to share. You responded in kind by wrapping your arms around Jooyeon’s waist and pulled her closer to you. Her petite figure felt wonderful in your embrace.

“Should we be doing this?” you asked as your lips temporarily disconnected.

“Yes” she said, not letting go of you and continuing to brush your lips together. “I need this. I want you”

And so you both continued. You felt Jooyeon’s tongue find yours, as your fingers ran through her hair. Even though the entire apartment was a brisk 63, it felt like the room was getting too hot. The air was heavy with both of your emotions. Jooyeon began to be bold and kissed you more furiously, bringing your hands to her waist and hips. While she was still wearing shorts, you felt every curve of her body.

The soft, tender kiss you shared a few minutes ago was long gone. Replacing it was a hot, passionate makeout session. You gave into temptation and crept your fingers slowly until they reached her butt. Hormones were being kicked into overdrive as you lost control and wanted to feel every part of her.

Jooyeon sucked on your bottom lip and reached down to remove your shirt. You responded by squeezing her butt. It was so soft, even softer than Jiyeon’s you thought. She let out a heavy moan from your touch. Never having enough, you squeezed it again, being a bit more aggressive this time. She jumped slightly but went down and sucked on your neck, beginning slowly before increasing in force. She tossed your shirt aside, you were turned on by how assertive Jooyeon was being.

“You’re sure about this?” you asked with heavy breaths.

“I’m more than sure” she said, kissing your chest softly.

“But-”

She put a finger on you and smiled. “No buts. Well except mine, your hands felt so good on them”

Jooyeon resumed kissing you wildly, as she locked her thighs on you and dug her tongue into your mouth. You were a bit caught off guard by her forwardness but realized it made you even more aroused. Your hands returned to her ass, squeezing her cheeks as hard as you could. She jumped up, but quickly composed yourself and gave you a very naughtly smile.

“Looks like someone’s being a really bad boy” she said in a seductive tone.

“Is that a bad thing?”

You didn’t give her the chance to reply by roughly smacking her cheeks.

“Ah” she moaned, biting her bottom lip. “I like it. It turns me on when you do that”

You unbuttoned her shorts and slipped them off her. Placing your hands on her now semi exposed butt, you gathered her panties onto the crease and smacked her ass again. The sound reverberating inside the room and your ears.

Jooyeon slowly removed her blazer, tie and shirt leaving herself exposed in black laced lingerie. Her thin waist complimented her hourglass figure. A pair of round breasts immediately caught your eye as you looked down and saw the smoothest, longest legs that you wanted wrapped around your hips. And face.

She bit her lips as you ran your hands across her soft body. Her stomach was perfectly flat and toned. Feeling it in your own hands was an indescribable feeling. Her hair flowed perfectly down her face as she stared at you with one of the sexiest expressions you have ever seen on a woman.

“You look beautiful, Jooyeon” you said, your heartbeat increasing in speed.

“That’s the second time you’ve said that to me” she said, blushing.

She slowly rocked back and forth on your body, you felt her arousal on your jeans since her poor excuse of panties did nothing to prevent her wetness from leaking out.

“Were you waiting for me to say it again?”

“Maybe” she said, smiling at you sweetly as she placed your hands on her thighs. You decided enough was enough and held onto her hips as you brought her body upwards towards your face.

“Wow” she said, surprised at how aggressive you were.

Jooyeon was now sitting on top of you, holding onto the sides of your head for balance. The wonderful aroma of her feminine scent quickly entered your nostrils. You noticed she decided to spray perfume all over her body. You caught a whiff of cherry blossoms. Softly, you began kissing the creases of her warm thighs. She began breathing heavily, lowering herself onto you even more while she began rocking her hips back and forth. You stuck your tongue out, gliding it across her crotch as it was now being mixed with her own wetness.

“You’re t-teasing me?” she whined.

“Is that bad?”

You grabbed onto the hemline of her panties and yanked them downwards, Jooyeon assisting you in removing them. Now you were finally able to see her beautiful, bare pussy. The initial contact of your tongue onto her was amazing. You were overwhelmed with happiness, while she gasped loudly. Her body squirmed as you began to taste her, it tasted as sweet as candy in your opinion. You began lapping up as much as you could.

“You taste amazing”

“Holy fuck” she moaned, grabbing fistfuls of your hair as she continued grinding on your mouth.

You kissed her beautiful pink pussy lips as she continued dripping into your mouth. She left you very intoxicated, sensory overload was something you didn’t think was possible until this moment. Slowly, you traced your tongue across her entirely before digging deep. You heard Jooyeon scream from above you, wanting to cover her mouth in order to avoid being heard by her neighbors. You didn’t care at all, what with her thighs wrapped around your ears. You continued pushing your tongue inside her, licking her walls as her body squirmed in pure ecstasy.

“That feels so good” she moaned.

Jooyeon would spend several minutes riding your face while you held onto her ass, both for balance and to caress it in your hands. Your hands felt every inch of her. Every curve of her soft, smooth cheeks. Her loud moans pierced the quiet room as you continued drawing tender circles on her clit with your tongue. You felt her skin begin to moisten with sweat even though the room was a bit chilly. Taking her clit into your mouth and sucking it, you felt Jooyeon yank onto your hair rather roughly. You thought she was going to pull out fistfuls of hair from how aggressive it was. Her thighs squeezed your head rather painfully from how much in pleasure she was.

“Holy shit… don’t stop oppa. Please don’t stop” she screamed, causing you to alternate between sucking and licking her pussy. “Fuck! Don’t stop -- oh my fucking god”

Jooyeon’s back began to arch as her body was shaking. With every movement of her body, you squeezed her ass even harder. She moaned so loudly you were beginning to be a bit afraid people would hear and think something bad was happening to their neighbor. Mercifully, you relinquished your grip on her causing her to breathe heavily as her body sat on top of yours.

She removed her grip on your hair, you were internally thanking her as you thought you wouldn’t have any left if you were gonna continue. Her mouth was wide open from the excitement she felt from being pleasured. She looked into your soul with a loving gaze.

“That was amazing…” she whimpered out, gently kissing you. You responded by kissing back before moving onto her neck and shoulder. Your fingers held onto the strap of her bra and removed it.

“You’re so crazy” you said, swallowing your saliva to help you catch your breath.

Your hands wrapped around her back and unhooked her bra. Once it dropped down, her breasts were finally fully revealed to you. They were noticeably bigger than Jiyeon’s, a perfect size to fit in your hand. Her nipples were a cute shade of pink, contrasting Jiyeon’s brown ones. Your mouth watered as she was now fully exposed to you.

“Wow” you said. It felt like that was all you were able to say about Jooyeon.

Tossing her bra aside, her breasts jiggled slightly. She giggled at you, seeing your eyes hungrily stare at them. She grabbed your hands and placed them on her chest. They were so warm and full to the touch. Her boobs were even softer than her ass, seemingly made for your hands. You began to gently fondle them, pinching the tip of her nipples with your fingers while she rubbed yourself on your body.

Placing a tender kiss on your lips, she removed herself from your lap and descended to your lower body.

“It’s my turn to see what you’ve been hiding” she said naughtily as she began to unbutton your jeans. You were nervous because you were about to fully expose yourself to Jooyeon. At the same time, you were happy because your erection was painfully trapped inside your pants. She finally pulled both the jeans and your boxer briefs, releasing your cock from its cloth prison.

Her eyes twinkled with excitement as she stared wide eyed at it. She wrapped her soft hand around your shaft, wanting to feel every part of it like it was a delicate item.

“Wow, you’re so fucking hard...” she said.

Jooyeon started stroking your cock slowly, observing your facial expressions. She smiles in satisfaction as she sees you close your eyes and tilt your head back. Her delicate hands were now stained with your precum as she tightened her grip on your shaft.

“Should I?” she asked you in a soft voice, asking for your permission.

“Ahh… please” you begged her.

“Such an impatient oppa” she said, giggling before wrapping her thin lips around you. Your eyes momentarily see her before closing once again from the pleasure.

“I barely put my lips on you and you’re this turned on?” she said as she began stroking you fast.

The pleasure was too much for you to reply. Instead, you felt Jooyeon slowing down her movements. She placed a gentle kiss on the tip, going down a line on your entire length. She never broke eye contact with you while doing so. Son Jooyeon had such a beautiful face and body, the way she handled your cock turned you on even more.

She eventually made her way down to your balls, making long licks upwards with her tongue before taking each individually in her mouth. Her tongue flickered while doing so, rewarding her with lovely groans from you. After making sure each ball was coated with saliva, she ran her tongue one last time across them before returning back to the head where she twirled around the circumference of it. You tried to pretend you weren’t satisfied, but Jooyeon knew you were bluffing.

“Oppa… you aren’t holding back are you?” she asked, her tongue rapidly licking the underside of your head.

Not caring to wait for a response, Jooyeon began sucking your cock. Her warm, wet mouth fully lathered you  as she bobbed her head up and down. She would apply a gentle suction at the tip, her tongue swirling around your shaft at the same time.

You were no stranger to getting blowjobs, Jiyeon having given you many under your desk or your convenience store days when Kim Minji would do so when you were restocking shelves. But now that Son Jooyeon was sucking your cock, you felt like it was a dream.

Her speed began to pick up, Jooyeon simultaneously moaning with you even though her mouth was stuffed with cock. She was so focused on pleasuring you that she began cupping your balls while her head bobbed up and down. Jooyeon wasn’t just giving you one of the best blowjobs you have ever received, you were being comforted physically as well as mentally. She wanted you to feel relaxed, taking great pride in knowing she would be the one to ease your worries.

She gave you such a deadly stare while she let go of fondling your balls and pushed her long, messy jet black hair back. She continued her mouth’s furious sucking and grip on you, causing you to begin to feel an out of body experience from how much pressure she was applying. You were ready to cum at any moment.

Jooyeon knew this, so she stopped. As her mouth released its hold on you, saliva began to spill out when her head began to move up. You moaned, not wanting her to let go. She looked at you staring at her with pity in your eyes, pleading for her to put you back into her mouth. She gave you a mischievous smirk, satisfied you weren’t able to cum. She returned to gently stroking you.

“Sorry oppa” she said. But you knew she wasn’t sorry.

“You’re not being fair” you panted.

“Oh?” she replied softly. “How do you think we should make things fair?”

She crawled back up towards you, kissing you on the lips. Her fingers glided across your cheek tenderly as you looked at her when your lips disconnected. Her beauty left you awestruck, hypnotizing you to do whatever she asked.

Without warning, Jooyeon’s body is lowered onto your face when she turns around suddenly. You were being smothered by her pussy as she takes your cock into her mouth. Her juices continued leaking down her thighs as she begged for you to stimulate her more. If her pussy wasn’t drowning you or your line of vision, you probably would've just cum from watching her suck your cock in this position.

Son Jooyeon never struck you as such a wild person in the bedroom. She always had an air of elegance to her, even though she considered herself one of the boys who could seemingly get along with any friend group. While it does surprise you, to be fair you never expected to see her be intimate in the bedroom. There were no complaints from you, if this was how Jooyeon gives blowjobs, you were anticipating how she would be when she is getting fucked.

She took your cock as deep as she could, so deep in her mouth that her lips reached your base. She did her best to hold on for a long time, feeling her throat be stuffed with your tip. The pleasure that flowed throughout your body was so addicting. Jooyeon’s natural odor during sex was an intoxicating one: she left you wanting more. You were beginning to become addicted to her.

You smacked both of her ass cheeks, firmly holding on top both as you lapped up her sweet nectar. Jooyeon tasted a lot sweeter than Jiyeon in your opinion.

“Oppa!” Jooyeon released your cock from her mouth, moaning out loudly. You gave her repeated smacks on her ass while squeezing them. Your tongue buried itself deep inside her hole, Jooyeon mimicked the same actions on your cock.

“Oh my god…” she screamed while sucking your cock that was glistening.

You both repeated your actions over and over as your tongue tasted all of her. She moaned incoherently due to her mouth being stuffed with your cock. You wanted to tease her, stopping her from receiving pleasure. Jooyeon was not happy about that, pushing her pussy onto your face.

“You’re being needy” you teased.

Of course this was just you putting on a front since you saw Jooyeon bobbing her head up and down your cock. Your efforts to tease her were in vain, she was the one in control. Not you.

You took two fingers and inserted them inside her pussy. Jooyeon let out a scream as her walls wrapped themselves around you. You entered deeper, establishing a rhythm. She wasn’t going to let you out pleasure her, stroking your cock hard as she began to deepthroat you. You let out an extremely loud moan, shocked that she was so competitive.

Jooyeon’s assault continued, swallowing you whole as her screams couldn’t be contained even with a mouthful of dick. You began to feel asphyxiated from her pussy being on your face but you figured it wouldn’t be a bad way to go. You mustered up the strength to clean up the trickles of juices that flowed out of her. You sucked on her clit gently, making various lengths of lines with your tongue. Her body convulsed as she finally released your cock from the warm wet confines of her mouth.

“Holy shit… keep going oppa” she said. “Don’t fucking stop”

Although she wanted to keep sucking your cock, the pleasure you were giving her rendered her weak.  You were rewarded with her cries of pleasure, increasing in pace as her screams became louder in octaves.

“Fuck… don’t stop. Fuck” she yelled.

Son Jooyeon rivaled Kwon Eunbi at being the loudest in bed. Both women had an air of elegance to them, but were sex crazed freaks behind closed doors. You wanted to hear her beg for you more.

“Don’t you fucking stop oppa” she said as you smacked her ass. She pushed her now damp her back as she grabbed a handful of her tits. She was consumed by a sex filled rage, only wanting to be pleasured by you.

“This feels so fucking good” she said. “No one’s ever eaten my pussy like this!”

Her body grinded up and down repeatedly as her body was shaking. She grabbed onto your thighs for support. Struggling to catch her breath, you give her a stimulating lick. You kissed whatever you could, smacking her ass again. It felt like your night consisted of Jooyeon saying vulgar words and moaning at a high decibel.

She struggled to get up from your face, her legs wobbling. She turned around, now face to face with you as she was glistening with sweat. Jooyeon was a sweaty, panting mess and yet she still looked beautiful to you.

“Oppa” she moaned, kissing you on the lips. “This is crazy… I want you so badly. Do you want me?”

“I want you too, Jooyeon” you replied, squeezing her breasts.

You fixed her bangs and tucked away several loose strands of hair behind her ear as she kissed you. She interlocked her hands with yours, as your bodies rubbed against one another. Her breasts felt so soft pressed against you, both of you could hear your hearts beat.

 You wrapped your arms around Jooyeon and flipped her over so that she was lying down on the bed. She wrapped her arms around your neck as you leaned down and kissed her. She spread her thighs open as she pulled you towards her. You held onto your cock and it eventually found its way in front of her pussy. You rubbed your tip against her lips, as it began to be covered by her juices. She moaned as she bit her lower lip while looking at you.

“Fuck me please, baby” she said as she grabbed fistfuls of her hair. “I want to get fucked by you”

“You’re being a bad girl, Jooyeon. Good girls don’t beg to be fucked”

“Please…” she pleaded, looking at you with loving eyes.

Not wanting to delay your own pleasure any longer, you push your cock inside Jooyeon. Her pussy was so warm and tight. The foreplay you two did earlier made it so that you easily slid inside due to her slick juices. Her walls began to constrict your cock as you began to slowly move inside her. One hand was placed behind your head while the other clawed your back as she began to scream. You began to fuck her while tenderly giving her face kisses.

“Baby…” she cried in ecstasy. Her legs wrapped themselves tightly around you.

“You’re so tight, Jooyeon” you managed to say.

“Call me baby, please”

You fucked Jooyeon tenderly, slower than your usual pace but it didn’t matter. You felt safe inside Jooyeon’s embrace, her breasts jiggled up and down to the rhythm of your thrusts. You took each nipple into your mouth, sucking on them. She kept moaning as you slid in and out of her pussy. You gradually began picking up momentum, her walls tightening around your shaft even harder. With your increased pace came Jooyeon’s screams gradually becoming louder.

“Babe...” you moaned.

“Harder…” she screamed. “Fuck me harder…”

You unwrapped her legs from your waist and put them above your shoulders. You fucked her faster, harder than before. The tip of your cock was reaching the epicenter of where she was getting the most pleasure. She screamed loudly, happy that you were listening to her. She gripped onto the bedsheets roughly as the sound her body slamming against your pelvis filled the quiet room. Her juices splashed against you with each thrust.

“Baby, I’m cumming… oh my god I’m gonna cum” she cried. Her body was convulsing as you didn’t decrease in intensity. With one final loud scream, Son Jooyeon clawed your back roughly as her orgasm arrived.

Once the aftershocks of her orgasm winded down, you slowed your pace. She was panting heavily, her body drenched in sweat as she looked at you lovingly. Her face looked satisfied, happy that you made her feel good. Feeling tired, you pulled yourself out of her. You both moaned as inch by inch withdrew itself. The temperature in the air was cool thanks to the air conditioning, giving you a tingling sensation as it flowed through your cock which was covered in her pussy juice.

“I’m getting close to cumming” you said weakly.

“No” she said, rubbing her pussy lips. “You can’t cum yet baby”

She cupped your face, kissing you sweetly as you felt her body warm you up. Jooyeon stroked your cock while doing so, you responded by fondling her breasts.

“Sit on the edge” she said quietly.

You obeyed as Jooyeon grabbed a pillow and threw it on the ground. She kneeled, smiling at you with both her lips and her eyes. Her hand returned to your penis, gripping onto it as she ran her tongue on your frenulum. Your cock was sensitive, twitching at the contact.

She spit on her left hand before wrapping her lips around your cock, gently sucking on your tip. The hand that contained her spit massaged your balls tenderly. You felt goosebumps on your body as your spine shivered thanks to her actions.

“I love your cock” she said, stroking you. “Can you please fuck me like this at work?”

“Jooyeon-”

“I told you to call me baby” her words betraying her as she smiled sweetly at you. “Don’t think I don’t know about Jiyeon unnie giving you blowjobs under your desk”

She doesn’t even give you time to answer as she takes your cock down her throat.

“Were you going to say something, baby?” she teased, sucking your cock once more while squeezing your balls.

You moaned out in bliss as you watched her suck your dick. Pleasure flowed from your head all the way down to your toes as she rubbed herself simultaneously. Your orgasm was fast approaching.

“Cum for me, baby” she licked her lips while laughing.

“I can’t hold it-” you panted.

“Give me your cum” she quietly said, tenderly kissing your tip repeatedly before sucking your cock once again. She switched between various speeds as she grabbed your left hand and put it behind her head. One of her delicate hands fondled your balls while the other squeezed her breasts. You put your other hand on her head, running your fingers through her moist hair as her jet black hair bobbed up and down. You felt her moans as your cock was in her mouth.

“Jooyeon… it’s coming” you panted.

Jooyeon increased in pace, sucking you even harder. You roughly pulled on her hair as she looked up and stared into your soul. You both knew what was fast approaching.

“Joo-”

Your body didn’t give you a chance to finish moaning her name as it went numb. The tingling sensation flowed from your head to your toes  as you erupted inside her mouth. Jooyeon moaned as she kept bobbing, feeling your hot sticky cum hit the back of her throat. Her eyes were smiling at you, twinkling with delight as she began to swallow. You held onto your cock and tapped it a few times on her tongue. She sucks your cock a few times before releasing it from her mouth with a loud pop as she laps up the last remaining dribble on your urethra.

The innocent smile Jooyeon gave you betrayed the actions she just committed.

You pushed your weak body and laid down on the bed, breathing heavily. One of the more intense orgasms you had, you were in awe at how Jooyeon was able to make you feel. She moved with you, cleaning your cock a bit more. After several minutes, she finally climbed up the bed and laid down next to you. She gave you a tender kiss as you wrapped your arms around her.

You cuddled for some time, before your eyes began to get heavy. Jooyeon’s body next to you was touching yours. Your breaths were synced in unison. She looked up at you as you looked down at her, both of you smiling sweetly as your lips connect one more time. You hold her tightly in your embrace as you kiss her forehead before both of you drift off to sleep.

“I love you, oppa”

Elsewhere in one of the backrooms of a shop, a woman is seen counting money. She smiles, a gun right next to her on the desk.

A knock on the door can be heard.

“Enter”

Four women enter the room and greet the woman. They are of varying heights, a bit of uneasiness seen on their faces.

“We did what you said, boss. No one knows we’re working for you”

“Good. If any of you double cross me, these two will see to it that you’re taken care of”

Two women approach from the shadows standing next to the woman who was sitting down. One was smiling, wearing an apron while smelling a black rose, the other smirks as she wiped the sweat off her forehead with a towel.

[secretshinigami]

routine and soft eyes

Author: @hazblogs For: @beyondplusultra Pairings/Characters: nearmellomatt, mention of lawlight Rating/Warnings: T, mentions of Mello’s scar  Prompt: Wammy House kids sleepover (A, B, L can be included, can be AU) Author’s notes: I had so much fun with this !!! soft bois…. thank you to anyone who reads it !!

Mello is positively fuming. Someone (who shall not be named, though if you want to know it starts with “N” and ends with “-ate River”) just got on top of Forensic Science and Investigative Skills and History of Crime and the Justice System. Those are Mello’s topics. They’re the best at these and they always have been (in the two years they’ve studied here. But that’s long enough, right ?), so the fact that Mister Nobody just came in and stole their turf… That’s infuriating. To top it all off, the dean did them dirty and assigned someone to the second bed in their room, knowing full well that they need that second bed for Matt. This week is just a pile of flaming shit.

As they swing the door open they are greeted by the beeping sounds usually coming from Matt’s bed, a comforting electronic melody. Matt doesn’t even turn around to raise his middle finger to protest against how loud Mello is, but that’s also common practice around here, so no worries. 

“Heard you got your ass beat,” Matt says a while later, Mello’s hand carding through his strawberry-green hair. “By the newbie no less. How’re you taking it ?”

“Matt, my hand is dangerously close to your eyes and you need those to play on that stupid console. Better not risk it.”

“Like you’d ever hurt me,” Matt grumbles, and the certainty with which he speaks makes their heart pulse just a little faster. Mello is hopelessly in love, aren’t they ?

The rest of the evening is quiet save for that same musical background, a welcome white noise as Mello finishes their essay for Writing Comedy. The teacher seems to have some trouble with their rather macabre humour so they try to tone it down for once - rather unsuccessfully.

“Also heard you’ll have a roommate,” Matt continues a few hours later as they prepare for bed - gotta put some moisturiser on that scar like a damsel doing her skincare routine, the doctor said, “or you’ll experience how actually painful it can be”. Talk about being threatening…

“I heard. I can kick them out.” Mello would do it. Without remorse, even.

“I can sleep in your bed too,” Matt offers. “But only if you promise not to kick me out from under the covers every single night.”

“Okay, first of all, fuck off, and secondly, why the hell would I want someone else to room with me ? You’re already here. You’ve always been here.”

“And I always will be, Mels. Just… I think it’s time you get out of your shell a little bit, you know ? You can’t keep pretending that talking to me twice every day and ignoring Linda a couple times a week is enough friendly interaction for the little pea inside your coconut.” Mello turns away from the mirror, moisturiser in hand, and sends a glare to Matt who sighs and raises his hands in defeat. “Don’t say I didn’t try ! Think about it, okay, Mello ?”

They do think about it. The whole night. They don’t sleep - it’s not because Matt snores but that’s the excuse they’ll use. Ever since the accident and the scar, people have usually been too impressed - or scared - by them to even consider starting a casual conversation. Matt was there even before, and he probably always will be, Linda is a weirdo who wants to draw them with a ponytail, and… Well, that’s it. Mello lives for schoolwork, to be the best and hope to right some of the wrongs in this world.

“Yo, Mihael,” the dean says when he sees them in front of his office the following morning. Lawliet is a TA at their university, still haunting the dorms. He has a creepy smile under his stupid raccoon eyes and he keeps using Mello’s birthname, like it makes any more sense to call them with that than to call them “xXx_sexy_blondie_xXx”, or however you pronounce that out loud.

“Lawliet. I saw you assigned me a roommate.”

“I did,” he smiles still, like there’s a joke Mello doesn’t get.

“Why ?” Mello would actually like to know - Lawliet never does anything at random.

“You’ll see when he arrives later today,” is the cryptic answer, and Mello sneers at their stupid fucking dean as they leave for their 8am lecture.

Because yes, multiple things are out to get their skin - though they won’t be deterred.

The day goes by in a flash, Screenwriting and Poetry being two of their most interesting classes, and by the time they’ve finished their Crime Prevision and Prevention homework at the library, the sun is well on its way down. Mello walks slowly to the dorms, enjoying the warm air - it’s still only September and winter hasn’t come yet. The music blasting from their headphones is a perfect background to the chill atmosphere, a few bird silhouettes dark against the wonderfully peach clouds. In a few minutes they’ll kiss Matt and they’ll eat a bite, and they’ll sleep knowing they’re safe now.

When they arrive in front of their room, a few cardboard boxes occupy the entrance. Shit fuck hell, they’d forgotten the roommate arrived today. All they can see from where they’re blocked from entering is a white blob of hair on top of baggy clothes, perched on the desk and looking at whatever Matt is playing.

“Uh, I’m supposed to be able to enter my own room,” Mello kind of yells. Only kind of. “Would you please not be a giant stupid bother before I even get your name ?”

“Sorry,” the snowball says, not looking sorry at all. “I’m Nate River.”

“But you can call him Near ! He plays retro games, which isn’t… let’s say it’s not my strong point, but I’m sure it’ll go well, we’re three whole weirdos with weirdo nicknames !”

Mello blinks. Near is still here. They blink again. Near is still here, looking a little like a frog with his lopsided smile, a hand playing with one of his curls. Mello blinks a third time and doesn’t expect Near to have packed his things and go, but that was a close call.

“Are you fucking kidding me,” they mutter. “Lawliet is gonna get killed.”

“You actually know enough about criminology to not be caught, so go you.” Near is smirking. Mello wants to cry. “But I would advise against it, because he’s dating that twink Light Yagami, the alumni who came last week to give the presentation about the War on Drugs and its consequences. He’s a police lieutenant now.”

“Called it !” Matt raises a fist in victory, taking five years from Mello’s lifespan. “Anyway, now that you’re here, please do help us with the last boxes. We’ve been setting up Near’s compy and it’s revoltingly difficult.”

“I will not- how can you ask me to- I’m gonna commit arson and this time I promise I’ll succeed !”

“Dramatic bitch,” Matt says jovially. “Just come in and drop your stuff, apparently someone from the ADA thing comes tomorrow to make sure the room is accessible with a crutch and to help Near settle in.”

Mello just now notices that Near isn’t fully standing up - he’s propped on the desk, a mechanical knee peeking through the bottom of his shorts. This changes nothing - though Mello feels the both grim and hopeful sense of community that disabled people get when they meet. Their ear still works wonky and their eye ? Not the sharpest either. Without talking about all the skin damage, the phantom pain, the- hell no, they won’t get into “reflective mode” without having eaten dinner first.

Reluctantly, Mello spends the rest of the evening avoiding Near as Matt and them help him settle in, surprised by the small amount of belongings he actually has - most of the boxes he brought are board games and hundreds of little kapla sticks. Is Near planning to recreate the Golden Bridge ? He looks like a nerd, maybe it’ll be the Death Star.

Routines are a persistent thing, and before they know it, Near has managed to get a small space - small, they insist - in Mello’s well-oiled machinery. He eats breakfast with Matt, a meal that Mello forgoes entirely, and he goes on unfortunate walks to his PT appointments, because he’s out of money from whatever government organism gives benefits to disabled people and can’t afford a cab. Mello thinks they should get into it a little more, maybe call their case worker, because ramen tastes worse and worse when you have it for every meal of the week. And then Near and Matt start talking about something or another, especially topics that annoy Mello, or Near gets a little too close to them while they both work on their assignments at their desk, his elbow barely brushing Mello’s side. It makes them shiver, but they will ignore that, thank you very much.

Another routine - bedtime - has gotten a little different. One single bed is enough for “one person and a half”, according to Matt, so the obvious solution to them being three in a two single beds room is to push the beds together.

“And now you have a perfect three people beddery !” Matt triumphantly declared. “Mello, you sleep in the middle.”

“Why am I in the middle ?” they protested. “It’s the least comfortable !”

“Oh well, we can take turns,” Near had snarked, knowing full well that the first one of them to sleep in the middle would have to accept defeat.

Mello does end up in the middle, Matt cuddled against their left side where the burn is, and Near an ever-closer presence against their right arm. It’s not as uncomfortable as they expected. Near doesn’t snore and he smells like minty toothpaste, a strangely comforting scent that lulls Mello to sleep way more easily than the five thousand melatonin pills they take before going to bed.

Oh well, maybe Lawliet can live a little longer. His boyfriend - Matt saw them kissing through the peephole, it’s official now - won’t have any (more) reasons to put Mello behind bars.

Near gets on top of International Law and keeps wearing strangely baggy clothes everywhere - or well, everywhere but in the dorms. Mello has time to get used to that mechanical knee, even asking a few questions about phantom pains on the days Matt is away and the itching gets unmanageable. Near is quiet like snow but they’re nothing alike in warmth, grey eyes like molten metal setting on Mello’s face and crinkling in a smile.

And it works wonders. One time they get a bad mark (for their standards) and they even study with Near for extra credit, a presentation about the death penalty that lasts about three quarters of the two hours class. The teacher gives them both full marks and Matt celebrates by crushing them both against his chest, the smell of motor oil and mint so comforting that Mello closes his eyes, just for a little while.

It’s winter before they have time to think about it, and finals go by in a blur of “no sleep, no food, no distractions”. They even manage to end up at the nurse’s office when they faint during the Criminology Theory exam, forced to drink sugar water until the world stops exploding in a million tiny stars when they move their head.

Mello thinks that surviving their last winter exam session ever - they should be able to find a job with a double Master’s degree in Criminology and Creative writing, right ? - deserves a celebratory nap and they sprawl on the bed as soon as they’re back from the last stupid oral presentation they have to do about stupid Foundations of Criminal Justice. Near is not in the room - which is weird, because he finished five minutes and thirty six seconds before them - and Matt is away for the day to try and get his internship at the garage, so they have the full three-person bed, and they fully intend to enjoy the luxury.

They enjoy it so much that they fall asleep, only noticing that time has passed because before they blinked, it was day, and it is now very much nighttime. Light giggles fill the room along with the muted light from Near’s bedside lamp, and Mello takes the time to relish in the quiet atmosphere. Hushed conversation rises from near the desk, giggles and the smell of hot chocolate both making Mello sit up at last.

“Lookit you ! Sleeping beauty arises. Though I haven’t kissed you yet,” Matt smiles, and he climbs on the bed to press his lips against Mello’s. “Love you,” he whispers as he pulls away and goes back to slump on Near’s shoulder.

At first, Near felt like an intruder each time Matt kissed them, but he’s become so embedded in their life that Mello doesn’t feel any awkwardness anymore - to the point where not including him has become the cause of their inner turmoil.

Because yeah, uh, there’s that. Near in a tank top and booty shorts, prosthetic being painted on by a very enthusiastic Matt, has become the new image they conjure up each time the need to strangle someone arises. And poof, instant peace. Discreet touches, Near sleeping fully cuddled against their right side now, Matt nosing through Near’s hair just after he’s washed it because his strawberry shampoo smells divine, Mello even going as far as ruffling Near’s hair without warning, just to see his little nose scrunch up… All that has become routine too, and suddenly the change is too big to go by unmentioned. 

They’ve managed to hold on to their feelings until then but as Matt starts talking again, Near’s smile is a little too tight - though his eyes sparkle, it’s like… something’s missing. 

“Emergency mee-ee-ting,” they yawn, the skin around their left eye crinkling up painfully. Near notices and doesn’t even ask before grabbing the petroleum jelly tube and throwing it rather inaccurately at their face. See, that’s what they were talking about, Near has just become… there, in the way Matt is there even when he’s asleep in another part of the universe where Mello can only hope to ever go to. “We gotta talk shit out.”

“Are you over your gay crisis yet ?” Matt asks, eyes calm and open, sipping hot chocolate with noisy slurps that Mello doesn’t bother mentioning anymore. His green hair looks more and more red as time passes, which is a strange feat of hair dye conspiracy. “Can we go back to playing ?”

“I haven’t even talked !” Mello protests. “I just really think it’s necessary to mention that…”

They don’t know how to continue that sentence. Near is looking at them with something strangely akin to hope, and Matt still has that infuriating openness about him like he just knows Mello so well he doesn’t need to be told what they feel. 

Near doesn’t, though, and he matters enough to Mello now for them to want to include him in the little bubble as well.

“I just think it’d be cool if we shared the secret chocolate stash with Near,” is what comes out of their mouth.

Well done caporal, please die of shame now.

“Mels, wow, that’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever said !” Matt’s voice drips with amusement - devoid of any mean spirit, they should add, because Matt is the one thing Mello knows is good in this world. And well, maybe there’s a second one they’ve stumbled on, and they want Near to know that he means a lot to them too.

“I mean it !” Mello whines. “He’s one of us now. I think we can share.”

“Mello. Please realise that I’ve been flirting with you this entire time,” comes Near’s deadpan answer. “The time I told you I wanted to braid your hair ? The time I made you sleep and finished the presentation alone because you’d gotten the flu and I hate being sneezed on ? The fact that Matt literally sits in my lap half the time, and only half because the other is spent on your lap ?”

“Okay, first of all, fuck off with me getting the flu.”

“You’re avoiding my question.” Near looks stubborn, and it’s a good look on him.

When did Mello start to think Near looks good ? “I, uh. I may be slightly romantically obtuse. Has Matt told you the time when-”

“-he kissed you and you thought he wanted to practice smooches for his secret best friend, because of course you wouldn’t be his best friend ?”

Utterly mortified, Mello can feel their cheeks become bright red. “Well, uh. Enough mushiness for tonight. Just pass me the chocolate, Matt, I’m starving.”

Matt giggles and throws a Kinder Egg at their face. Near munches on the leftover shell while Mello assembles the toy, and it’s peaceful - and happy, too, so when Mello raises a hand to their scar they smile still, in spite of their involuntary shiver.

[rebelwheelssoapbox]

Did New York State Give Disabled People COVID?

By Michele Kaplan Spoilers: Yes. Now, am I suggesting that the leaders of New York State got together one day in a dimly lit room, grinning deviously, as they started to brainstorm on how they could intentionally harm the disability community? No. But they also didn't go to great lengths to protect us either.

And yes, there were a number of politicians who are allies, and I am not negating their efforts, but at the end of the day, I am writing this as a disabled New Yorker who is now a longhauler. This was not inevitable, unavoidable, this was created. It could be validly and reasonably argued, that some New York State politicians absolutely knew the harm they were going to cause and proceeded regardless. Like Governor Andrew Cuomo, formerly revered, now met with calls to resign. How peculiar that people rarely include the fact that he knowingly sent 9,000 COVID patients to nursing homes in said calls. Back in May (2020), New York Times reported that 1/3 of all COVID fatalities happened in institutional settings and this number was before it came out that Cuomo attempted to downplay the number of deaths.

[image description: colorful graphic of a woman with slightly tan skin and short gray hair wearing a mask. she is dressed casually but stylishly  with a neck scarf, glasses, denim shirt and backpack. The text reads “what’s next in the covid-19 fight? now, we all need to get tested often even with no symptoms, to keep reducing the spread”] Interesting how prisons are experiencing similar problems during the pandemic, as that too is a place where you can not social distance. It also begs the question: why do nursing homes have so many things in common with prisons? All the while, Cuomo was going to great lengths to push massive cuts in medicaid and healthcare funding before and during the pandemic – including funding for hospitals, all so the ultra-rich, wouldn't have to pay their fair share of taxes. So, it's no wonder that there is a massive campaign from the people to #TaxTheRich, as the disability community was far from being the only marginalized demographic facing the devastating consequences of his actions.

original photo is via https://affecttheverb.com/ [image description: a photo of six disabled people of color smile and pose in front of a concrete wall. Five people stand in the back, with the Black woman in the center holding up a chalkboard sign reading "disabled and here." A South Asian person in a wheelchair sits in front. The text at the bottom reads "hashtag tax the rich" with an orange / yellow gradient and black shadow behind it. There is a white sign leaning against the person on the right, with text that reads "A failure to tax the rich while cutting services for marginalized communities is an act of violence."] Why do the wealthiest New Yorkers have the lowest tax burden? Why should the rest of us scramble for crumbs, in some instances, compromising our basic safety, all so that the ultra-rich can have even more? I've heard people say that austerity is an act of violence, and I believe it's true. And to be clear, as a survivor myself, I unequivocally stand in absolute solidarity with the women who came forward, sharing their stories. I just don't think sexual harassment should be the only reason he is called to resign. The moment he knowingly sent COVID patients to those nursing homes, should have been enough. All the talk about how we must protect the vulnerable. All the soundbites about how they cherished the workers, the ones they called essential, those applauded and declared as heroes of the frontline, and yet those who were not treated as such. Hurrah for empty rhetoric. Why was this (among other unethical actions rooted in austerity,) not seen as a reason to remove him from power? Do we not believe we deserve better?

How did I get COVID, courtesy of New York State? It might seem unlikely, considering I only left my apartment twice in the last 12 months, with a mask of course. Refraining from visits from friends and family, the only people who were in my home were PCAs (personal care attendants) who I rely on for assistance. However, for reasons that remain unclear, there is no mandatory COVID testing policy within these home health care agencies. This was not a fluke, this is a widespread problem.

I heard stories of home healthcare workers dying (on the job, in the office), and while all employees were encouraged to get tested, unlike with the flu shot, a person could still work regardless if they've been tested or not. If you feel sick, don't come to work, they were told, but this alone is not enough, as one can be asymptomatic and still spread the virus to others. This was common knowledge and yet?

There I was, November 2020, with a persistent 18+ day fever (among other COVID symptoms), with no idea who gave me COVID, and with an abysmal lack of access to actually get tested. In New York City, I had to wait three months just to get a blood test at home, which I later found out, was not even the right kind of COVID test if you currently have it. I had zero access to the nose or saliva tests, as I could not travel (due to the fever) even to the local testing sites or urgent care centers in my neighborhood. And while New York City had a program where they'd send you a free saliva test kit, it was only if you could prove that you came in contact with someone with COVID. But since there was no mandatory testing for PCAs, I could not. (And yes, I explained my situation to the city employee I spoke to about the program, but they would not or could not make an exception. I also wrote a local politician for help, but I never got a response.) But surely I could go to the hospital and get help there? No, that too was not an option. For in the state of New York (and sadly with several states during the pandemic), there is a state criteria (think capitalism meets eugenics), that basically says when the demand for ventilators is greater than the supply, not every COVID patient is viewed as worth saving. And surprise surprise, disabled people like me were not seen as having the same value as our able bodied peers. Fun fact: Hitler also believed that disabled lives were not worthy of living. To be clear, I am not calling anyone here a Nazi, but I am absolutely suggesting that it would behoove society to reexamine that shared belief. I remember once my fever subsided, I went to urgent care as my oxygen was dipping as low as 88%. And the urgent care doctor said “If your oxygen goes below 90%, even if in time it stabilizes (as mine does if I remain silent), you need to go to ER.” Only as a disabled person, I could not. And yes, the state criteria is not always in effect, but it can go into effect at any moment in time – and then what?

[image description: photo of Michael Hickson, a black disabled man who is grinning and looking at the camera. He is sitting in a motorized wheelchair] RELATED: Disability rights group, ADAPT of Texas Protests Hospital Killing of Michael Hickson, A Black Disabled Man RELATED: Disability Rights Activists Sue Cuomo over Ventilator Discrimination But surely someone, the city, the state thought of a backup plan, so that the people impacted by the state criteria would not be left in the lurch? No, they did not. When I explained why I could not go to the hospital to the urgent care doctor, he became flustered. “Well... but you have to, it's medically dangerous for you ... not to go” to which I replied “It's dangerous for me to go.” In that moment, it was obvious that he did not know what to do other than to say “I'm sorry.” Why was there not a backup plan? Is the city and state nonchalant when it comes to disabled people being harmed and possibly dying? Did they forget? The city and state both have designated departments about disability. So, what happened? And while I go to great lengths to rise up and feed my soul as needed, as a disabled person, I am angry, I am sad and I am tired on so many levels. Even before the pandemic, me and my community (who exists within every marginalized community), were fighting cuts to medicaid and home healthcare services in New York , so we wouldn't be forced from our homes and into the institutions and nursing homes, including the ones that Cuomo a year or so later would knowingly send COVID patients to.

[image description: tiled image of the New York State license plate, with the word ableism on each plate. the plates are normally dark blue and white but this image has a faded rainbow overlay on it]

And then... the pandemic hit, and politicians like Mayor DeBlasio said plenty about how we must protect seniors and “the vulnerable”, but didn't even mention disabled people till much later. Like austerity, disability erasure is too an act of violence. And then I got COVID, courtesy of the state and a lack of protective policies. My oxygen dips too low on a daily basis. The other day, I left a dear friend a mere 5 minute audio message and my oxygen levels dipped down to 92%. I cough my brains out every morning, as there is too much liquid in my chest. (Meanwhile both my doctors agree I am a candidate for at home oxygen support, but my insurance will only cover at home oxygen support, if my oxygen dips too low at night. I suspect they figure that if it goes too low during the day, I should just go to the hospital.) And do note, that I am not suggesting the entirety of this mess was all local government as Trump's role in this is not small. This article is not intended to be fuel for the Cuomo versus Trump, Trump versus Cuomo agenda. I don't want to hear how it's not this party or that party's fault. All sides are guilty.

[image description top: an illustration of a colorful person looking confused asking “Ableism? What’s ableism?” Below that is a graphic with a white background and black “typewriter” font text. It reads, ”Ableism is… (a form of) discrimination.The false idea that disabled people are by default, inferior. When in truth, disability is just another way for a mind and/or body to be.”] Take action. Share this article. Discuss this with your friends. Re-examine any negative or (ableist) ideas you were taught about disability, for as long as we perpetuate the false ideas of abled supremacy, that disability equals inferior, tragic and better off dead, the easier it will be for the system to justify and get away with the oppression. Ask your politicians what happened? I wish that I had the energy to organize an action, more than what I've suggested, but as a longhauler I do not, which weighs on me more than I can say. But know that often when marginalized communities are attacked, a common sentiment you hear is: this is not what this country is about. But if you look at our history, this is exactly what our country is about. This is not new, but that doesn't mean we can't change that.

[IMAGE DESCRIPTION: This graphic is mostly black and white with the exception of 3 colors. The style is minimal. Towards the top in a thick black font, reads the words “Choose.” The two O’s in the word, are larger than the rest of the word, and have a larger red (for one O) and an orange circle (for the other O) in back of them. On top of the first O, is the letter S. To the right of S is a somewhat thin black line that stretches out to the right. Underneath is a black rectangle, with a blue square and red line in it - like a really minimal deconstruction American flag. The S then goes down to include the O, followed by an L and then after the L, the rest of the letters in Solidarity are to the right. To the left is a list (in black font) that reads Racism, Xenophobia, Transphobia, Islamophobia, Sexism, Homophobia, Ableism* (*Discrimination Against Disabled People). Lastly to the right is a black rectangle with a vertical white line cutting through it. It has white text in it that reads “Solidarity is not just a word, it’s an action.” and below that in small black font is the url of this site. “whatisableism.tumblr.com”]

[brooklynislandgirl]

Beth and UARF!Billy - ❤♡❥ღ💕💘💝💓💌💟💙💚💜💛

Heart-Eyes || -

Five A.M.

Beth’s barely awake as she comes into the office, coffee in hand, only to come face to face with the widest grin she has ever seen on Hal Gates’ face. Dark eyes dancing, he relieves her of her thermos cup, takes both her arms in his hands, and swing-dances her around the cramped space where they work.

“We’ve done it, girl!”

Though abjectly confused, Beth can’t help but grin in return. “Wha’ve we done?” She wants to be just as thrilled, wants to share in the old man’s joy. “We’ve got data on white pointer mating! I’m running the compile now, we should be able to parse it and watch the video footage within an hour or two!”

She’s floored.

The shock is clear on her face, even her mouth drops open a little. Often bandied about as the Holy Grail of marine biology, great-white mating is known to exist. Despite decades of research into the habits of the species, that particular bit of knowledge has eluded marine biologists.

“Wha...? How?”

“Mate of mine, Crawford down in New Zealand has taken a fisherman’s eye-witness account on our elusive little friends, and shared video. Crawford sent me all of the data.”

“Oh, Hal.”

Dr Gates nods at her eagerly and once again promenades her around some tables, brushing past a stack of hastily shoved aside folders with charts of migration patterns, weather reports, and feeding data. Then, far more carefully, he hands her into a seat and plops down into an office chair, slapping his knees in pleasure and pride.

“Speaking of mating rituals...”

Beth laughs but blushes at the same time, eyes askance. She suddenly knows what he’s going to ask, or at least of whom.

“...And since we have so little to do until all the research is collated and complied...”

“Must we?”

“No finer time, girl.”

She holds her hands up to stave him off until she gets up, crosses the room and takes a sip of her coffee. Not exactly how she wanted to start the day, but there’s no real reason not to humour her mentor.

“Have at, den.”

“Excellent.” Hal Gates really is an inveterate old gossip.

~*~

❤: who is more affectionate in public? in private?

Beth laughs. Okay, so this isn’t really so bad. “I t’ink I gotta say...I’m more affectionate in public. Mos’ of da time, Doctah Manderly... just doesn’t know what t’ do. Very stiff, hands in his pockets or stand at parade rest.”

The last cocktail party had been a half disaster, between trying to get William to mingle with the public attendees and not leave to check on his seals at first opportunity. The one time he surprised her was when he put a hand on the small of her back though the illusion was broken when she found that the six-foot-six man was trying to ultimately hide behind her. No amount of mock-tails were going to spare him any acute discomfort.

“Probably for da best. No offence, but he’s very definitely...ah....British.”

“None taken.” Hal offers her a wink and taps the side of his nose.

“But even behind close doors? He just... lil uptight, I guess. I sometimes wonder if mebbe he’s worried about havin’ an episode, and some affections are difficult when you have a service dog nearly t’ree-quarters ya size intent on doin’ her job, but I’d say he at least tries when it jus’ da two of us. Fingahs in my hair, brush against my arm. Da kine.”

Hal nods, knowing the specifics without having to drag them out of her.

♡: who is the bigger romantic openly? secretly?

"I t’ink,” she begins, carefully considering this one. “Dat anyone who loves da sea so much dat dey would give up a whole life to dedicate demself to it...got a big romantic soul. What is da ocean, if not love an’ life, an’ all dat we dream of in songs an’ poetry? I only t’ink it’s harder for him to express dat because well..”

She makes a dismissive gesture.

It isn’t that he grasps the concepts of language and expression, they’ve certainly entertained passionate arguments, verbal jousts that have filled the air with sign and countersign.

“Romantically speakin’ I jus’ don’ see him as da type dat I’m gonna find outside my window wi’ an ole boom box, playing In Ya Eyes by Petah Gabriel, ya know? But I also don’t believe he wouldn’t t’ink about it. So secretly? Him. Openly, me.”

❥: who is more likely to plan something big for valentine's day?

“Honestly, Hal...I’d have t’ say him. He’s a planner. Wants every detail to be perfect, will second guess himself a hundred times jus’ to make sure dere no wrinkle in the research. Me? Always been da spontaneous kine, except when it came to really wantin’ to work wit’ you.”

Hal pats her lap, his face soft.

ღ: who is more likely to initiate hand-holding in public?

“Again, it would be William. I don’ know wha’ he’s t’inkin’ a lot of da time, if he’s even aware dat I am dere sometimes. An’ I don’ really wanna make a big deal about it, don’ wanna ovahstep. For me, it’s a much more difficult proposition, is like...touch is where I’m most comfortable, outside of typing endless notes or readin’ data.”

She nods toward the words scrolling along the screen. She fully disclosed her disabilities when she applied for the position so thankfully she doesn’t have to explain now. Most of the other people at the facility don’t even really notice. Except for maybe Ben who sees too much and maybe says too little. That’s to be expected though when you gather a bunch of scientists and stick them in one beautiful place.

“You want him to initiate more, don’t you?”

“I would, yeah. But dere always more important kine and so really guess it nevah really matter.”

💕: who is more likely to make huge declarations of love in front of other people?

“Fair question an’ I guess dat would be me. We...we agreed not to make a big t’ing about any of dis, you know how quirky everyone here is, an’ in case it doesn’t work out, we don’ want da kine t’ get weird. Especially wi’ James an’ Miranda. So if somet’ing like dis were t’ happen it’s probably because he push all my buttons an’ my tempah got da best of me, right? Could see it happenin’ over breakfast. On da beach. Mebbe by da pools.”

Which is why she tries so hard to keep her passions in check. She doesn’t want to blurt out anything that can’t be taken back.

💘: who developed a crush on the other first?

“Couldn’t say,” and in those two words it is the breadth and depth of her honesty. Beth doesn’t have crushes in the same way most people do. She’s never seen anyone and instantly found herself immersed in fantasies, desires, a desperate need to be around them. She might find someone intellectually stimulating and enjoy the conversation. She might notice that something about them calls to her artist’s eye and be aesthetically pleasing in its symmetry, someone might make her laugh but she doesn’t dwell. And by the time there is the first inkling that she might want more out of a situation or relationship, she’s already become close friends. Or she watches as that object of her affection drifts beyond reach and she tells herself she’s happy because they clearly needed something more than she’s even capable of giving.

And sometimes, Beth wonders if she isn’t really broken or damaged in some way. Because she can’t even say she ever had a crush on Billy. She doesn’t know that she can say she has any expectations other than they look good together on paper, and it’s been drilled into her since birth that appearances *do* matter. “Mo’beddah you should ask him.” Gates doesn’t say anything, he only nods.

💝: who spends more time (possibly overthinking) what presents to get the other?

“William. For same-same reasons as Valentines Day, an’ da need for everyt’ing to be as exactin’ as he can make it. Like, how hard and how long it take him to find...or more likely, *breed* dem two purple neocardinas in my office?” Shrimp like the two in her tank, deliriously happy and spoiled and free of predators, are rare in size and colour, and yet… there they are. Then there’s the allegorical evidence of his severe and frothing dislike of mass consumption marketing, the complete commercialisation of every secular and religious holiday, the pastiche of feelings tacked on almost like an afterthought.

💓: who initiates most physical contact?

Beth hesitates. That’s slightly more personal than the other questions so far and truth be told she’s a little ashamed of having to answer without specific parameters. But it is a question, and she did agree to answer them with the same honesty as she offers Hal in all their other work and conversations. “I’ve always done well wi’ sensory input dat was based in kine oddah dan auditory. Smell, taste, seeing… but of alla dem, touch has always been important to me. Textures, near imperceptible data processed t’rough skin. An’ I guess dat I use dat wi’ him. Way to express ideas or sensations dat might not come across ordinarily. Enthusiasm, excitement, humour, rage, disappointment. I wan him to feel an’ understand when I don’ have da words in me, or know how to express. A lot of da time, it’s accidental or at least….subconscious.” A beat goes by. “I don’t believe he really cares much for it.”

💌: who is more likely to send cutesy texts to the other?

This one is hard for her to answer because they aren’t really cutesy text people. Most of their days are too filled with very real world drama, service to the greater good, the understanding and conservation of the most vulnerable environments and animals within. There’s weather, there’s reports, there’s an entire litany of experiences that don’t leave much time to play around until well after hours when they can finally seek well deserved liberty. However, Billy does sometimes send her pictures of the seals doing very cute seal things, or Annie shepherding him and his charges with the boss-vibes of the Queen Mother. In the end she only offers her mentor a smile and a shrug.

💟: who spends time reading their zodiac compatibilities?

“Oh absolutely I do. Find da whole pseudo-science of it fascinatin’, especially when da stars are not in da same position as dey were when it was invented an’ da psychological impact it has on our species is jus’ totally wild, you know?”

Beth knows that she’s the textbook definition of a Cancerian woman, and Billy does a good job providing a counter-argument on being a Libra. Further there’s a bit of an annoyance factor; he thinks junk science ‘belongs in the bottom of the bin with the rest of the rubbish.’ And he has a point, to some extent, even if she doesn’t agree with him. Not everything can be cold facts and numbers. Sometimes a little playfulness was in order and he absolutely needed to be reminded of that.

Hal laughs and shakes his head. “You’re going to do my chart then, aren’t you?” “Wit’out a doubt, Doctah Gates.” She wiggles her brows.

💙: who is more protective?

“I think objectively, I am. You know William’s troubles, and I have to keep them all in mind dough it’s not like he can forget dem, right? Some of his facts aren’t… I’ve consulted with some medical doctors and if we are careful, dere’s a lot he can experience dat he sees out of reach but I don’ like bringing dem up because I don’ want to agitate him. Only can lead t’ problems.” She does wish though that he’d trust her a little more, that he’d let go of some of his well deserved fears. That he’d let himself out of his shell and accept that even with limitations he can do many of the same things as the rest of the group does. But he seems content enough to hang back, ever the observer. And she doesn’t know if it’s her place to try to drag him into things though she might be better at it than anyone else. Miranda has told her as much.

💚: who tends to get sick more often? who is better at taking care of the other?

Hal’s question is really a continuation of the previous one and once again she has to call Billy out on it. Because she’s never really been sick a day in her life, not since early childhood and the culmination of that was the test bite that nearly lost her the leg she keeps tucked away, hidden out of sight whenever possible. “Dat seems a small kine ingenious, he no can help his seizure disorder. An’ I feel like he really ought to have a good psychologist. I t’ink some t’erapy would do him good. Spends too much time in his own head an’ mebbe not enough taking charge of his life. I know he can be afraid of lots of t’ings but it nevah really *has* to be dat way. But I also don’ wanna push him, for same-same reasons I mention before. You can lead a shark to chum but no can make him frenzy, know what I mean?” The analogy is silly. Billy wants so much more than what he feels he has. And a darker current in the back of her mind wonders if they would still be the same if he felt he could reasonably have them. That feels so selfish and toxic and she really has no place casting judgement on him when maybe she’s no better off than he is, only expressing it differently.

💜: who said "i love you" first? or, if neither has said it yet, who is more likely to say it first?

It’s strange how perceptive he is and goes in for the killing bite. The honest truth is that neither one has said it. And neither one likely will. Billy has layers of guilt and trauma, has beliefs that she cannot get a single foothold to try and tear apart. He doesn’t feel deserving of such a finer emotion. And Beth? She has her own reasons. She doesn’t even know if love is a thing that exists or if it’s some fairy-tale people tell themselves to make it easier to get by. She believes in affection, and she believes that people bond the same way packs and pods and herds do. But she feels the concept of love is poisonous. Ruinous in the way it can destroy someone from the inside out. And how any time she’s ever thought she’d felt it, it was ripped out from her grasp. She won’t say it. She won’t hear it.

She doesn’t answer him immediately, but instead gets up and paces away, appearing as though she’s checking on some of the cameras situated around the bay. The wall that she’d left down for Hal goes back up, slamming into place.

“Research from both psychology and neurology fields have found that there are twelve different areas of the brain that light up and work together when two people are attracted to one another, releasing chemicals like dopamine, adrenaline, oxytocin and vasopression. All the symptoms people experience are simply animal-instincts provided to guarantee that we as a species survive by either wanting to mate, or flee.”

💛: who believes in soulmates?

And Gates understands he’s made an error in judgement, though he’d only been trying to be helpful in a meddling kind of way. Anyone at the facility could see that Billy and Beth were two sides of a very quirky but ultimately needed coin. That they’d both changed each other in the two years she’d been a research fellow, and how they’d both blossomed for it. Well, anyone but the two of them. And this had seemed like such a good idea at first, tied into shark mating habits which he’d hoped she’d take better than she is.

Her answers have thus far matched up quite nicely with the boy’s.

Sadly, especially this one. She doesn’t turn to look at him. “There are no such things, Doctor Gates. And even if there were, statistically it would be almost impossible to meet a soul mate. Within the same general age group there are about a half a billion potential companions all over the world. One would have to travel the entirety of the world, every remote pocket of the planet. Secondly, there’s no scientific proof that souls even exist, and enough studies across various disciplines to prove that they don’t. Believing in such nonsense only makes a person unhappy. And all that aside, most mammals are not biologically programmed for monogamy and I doubt human beings are either.” Because if they were, why would anyone leave someone they claimed to love?

[echo-bleu]

You always address Alex’s disability so thoughtfully in your writing. “I wish you’d write a fic where...” Michael thinks Alex is blowing him off, but he’s actually at a medical appointment for his leg.

Thank you!! This is a great prompt, I loved writing it. I set out to write maybe 500 words, but as usual that’s not what happened. I hope you like it!

Wordcount: 2322

Also on AO3

Lunch at the Crashdown? Michael types out while getting ready for his day. It's Saturday, so Alex should be off work and they can finally have that date they've been planning. Michael wanted it to be yesterday night, but Isobel dragged him with her to the Wild Pony instead. She keeps doing that, to the point that Michael is starting to suspect his sister isn't going to that bar for the beer.

Not today, sorry, Alex answers after a few minutes.

Michael frowns. He and Alex have been going out for a couple of months now, in that weird limbo between friendly outings and dates where they stay in public to keep themselves accountable. It precludes anything but the chastest kisses, and then only when Alex doesn't freak out at being out in a homophobic town, but it has made them actually talk rather than fall in bed at the first occasion, so they've agreed to keep going.

But this is the third Saturday in a row that Alex has blown him off without an explanation. Michael doesn't understand. He doesn't often have his Saturdays free, since five days a week don't quite bring him the income he needs to keep up with his recently extended social life. But he's been picking up restoration jobs around town that pay much better than car-tweaking recently, so it's allowed him to take his weekends off.

And Alex doesn't want to have lunch with him.

Okay, he answers simply, sadness pinching at his chest. He doesn't bother to offer another option. Alex is allowed not to want to spend time with him, he supposes, and he'll see him tomorrow at Isobel's anyway.

He drags himself to his car instead, deciding that since he doesn't have a lunch date, he might as well do something useful with himself. He picks up some groceries at the store, then heads to the hospital, where he and Liz have been working at her lab since it was rebuilt.

Liz briefly looks up from her microscope to smile at him when he walks in.

“Hi Mickey! What are you doing here on a Sunday?”

“I could return the question,” Michael says.

“I didn't really have anything else to do,” Liz shrugs. She's been working a lot, both for her actual paying job and on their side projects. Max's resurrection, it turns out, is not an overnight thing, even once they figured out how to restart his heart. He needs to rebuild the huge amount of energy that he lost, and that means he's still in a coma, hooked up to machines Alex bought off the Internet and Valenti set up in his house. So, coupled with Rosa leaving town, Michael gets why Liz uses work to take her mind off things.

“I think Alex blew me off again,” he says.

“Alex? I just saw him,” Liz frowns, her eyes still on her microscope.

“Here?”

“Yeah, he had a gap between appointments, so he came to say hello.”

“Appointments?” Michael stops in the middle of setting up his station in surprise.

“Hm. PT or something. You wanted to see him?”

“I wanted to have lunch with him.”

“Alex never does Saturday lunches,” Liz says absently. “The last time he did, we spent the afternoon with Maria and Mimi and he was so exhausted I had to drive him home before we made it to dinner. That's why Isobel settled for Sunday brunches even though Kyle has to bail off every other week. I thought everyone knew that.”

At Michael's silence, she finally looks up. “Wait, you really thought Alex just brushed you off?”

Michael nods wordlessly. He feels like an asshole, suddenly. But then, Alex didn't tell him.

“Wow. Um, I feel like I shouldn't have just told you all this.” Liz bites her lip. “You didn't know?”

“It's okay,” Michael says, his heart in his throat.

“Alex doesn't like talking about this, but I don't understand why he didn't at least tell you−”

“It's okay, Liz,” Michael repeats. “I...I didn't ask. We haven't really talked about this stuff.”

“Well maybe you should. He could use another friend. Someone more available than me or Maria.”

Michael just nods and gets to work. Liz's words have triggered a hurricane in his head, and he needs to quiet it down. He longs for a guitar, but working is the next best thing. How has he missed so much of Alex's life? Even Isobel seems to know more about him than Michael, and yet he hadn't even noticed that Alex isn't really letting him in.

Grand declarations of love and epic sex are not the same as actual communication, but Michael thought they were finally getting there. After the mess with Maria−a fling that ended after just one kiss when Max died, but still hurt them all more than Michael ever wanted it to−it's taken him months to gain Alex's trust back, but he thought that was behind them now, that they were working on building a solid relationship. But how much is Alex still holding back?

They need to talk, Michael realizes. They need to talk before his head manages to spin this into anger and resentment. There could be some innocuous reason why Alex doesn't want to share his Saturdays with him, why he didn't tell him about his medical appointments.

Before he can change his mind, he types a text on his phone. Can we do dinner? I can come over with Crashdown burgers. They haven't done this yet, eaten at each other's place rather than a neutral public space, but maybe it's time. Michael can easily imagine that Alex doesn't want to spill out medical details in a crowded bar.

Alex doesn't answer for another two hours. Michael forces himself to work rather than spin out, until Liz drags him with her to have lunch with her father. Michael feels bad for imposing on their time together, but Arturo must feel how much he needs a distraction as well as his daughter, because he treats Michael to a mountain of food and a dozen different anecdotes about Liz's childhood.

Okay. I have beers. Michael stares at his phone for a moment, lost in thoughts, then sends a thumb-up emoji back.

“That Alex?” Liz asks kindly. She knows what's on his mind, of course she does. She and Michael have grown pretty close in nearly six months of working together in the lab and holding each other up after Max died.

“Yeah. I'm meeting him for dinner.”

“Good. You want to visit with Max until then? I've been trying to read to him in hope that it will wake him up, but it's a bit lonely.”

“Sure,” Michael accepts. It will give him something to do, at least. And he can't imagine what it's like for Liz, who has moved into Max's house to be able to look over him. She needs all the company she can get.

Max seems a little more responsive than two days ago when Michael last swung by. Valenti was able to wean him off the ventilator over a week ago, and he opens his eyes more and more often, though he can't yet talk. It's going in the right direction, at least.

A little before six, allowing for the drive to Alex's cabin, Michael goes back to the Crashdown to pick up the order he gave Arturo. He tries not to let his mind wander too much on the way, because he doesn't want to be angry when he gets to the cabin. He thinks of the positive instead. He's going to see Alex. Even after months, he still marvels that he can just take his car and drive to him, rather than have to imagine him half a world away, maybe in danger, always out of reach.

Alex greets him with a tired smile and, when he steps back to let him in, Michael realizes he's leaning on his crutches. His prosthesis is off, the leg of his sweat pants pinned up, and he's wearing an oversize Star Wars hoodie Michael knows he wouldn't be caught dead with in public.

“Hey. Are you okay?” Michael frowns a little.

“Yeah, just tired,” Alex answers. He drops back on the couch rather than offer his help with dinner, which tells Michael that he must be in pain, too. “Beer's in the fridge.”

“If you need to sleep or something, I don't have to stay,” Michael says, despite his instinct to smother Alex with care.

“No, it's all good. I do need to eat, and I miss you. Bring me water, though, please?”

Michael comes back from the kitchen with a beer for himself and a glass of water for Alex, and starts unloading the Cashdown paper bag on the coffee table, since Alex doesn't seem to want to move from the couch. “I got some milkshakes, I know you like to dip your fries,” he says. “Not that I'll ever agree with that.”

Alex snorts lightly. “Thanks. Sounds nice.”

“Alex, can I ask−”

Alex looks down at his hands. “Yeah. I've been waiting for you to ask for a while, actually.”

“Really? I didn't...I didn't want to intrude, and I figured maybe I was already asking for too much time with you. But I spent the day with Liz, and she said she saw you this morning−”

“No, no, it's not about you, okay? I want to spend time with you,” Alex stops him. “I'm sorry, I should have given a reason.”

“I'm not entitled to your time, even though I tend to forget it,” Michael says. “That's what Liz made me realize.”

Alex watches him for a moment, then nods. Needing something to do with his hands, Michael hands him a burger and arranges the cartons of fries between them. They eat for a while in silence. It's not an easy, natural silence, not quite, but it's not tense, either. Just expectant.

“I have back to back appointments every Saturday morning,” Alex explains. “Shrink, then PT, then the prosthetist every other week. They often run over lunchtime and I'm usually too tired to do anything else for the rest of the day.” He keeps his gaze firmly on his food, and Michael hates to think that he's ashamed. “PT's pretty brutal right now. We're trying out some blades, so it's a lot of running and jumping around. It makes me really sore, so that's why I have my leg off.”

Michael nods slowly. “I feel awful for thinking that you were blowing me off,” he says. At Alex's aborted huff of annoyance, he realizes that he's once again bringing it back to himself. Damn. He needs to start thinking before he talks. “I mean, thank you for telling me.”

“I didn't want to say yes to lunch and then show up late, or bail on you because I'm too tired.”

“I understand, Alex.” Michael reaches out almost by reflex, taking Alex's hand in his. “I get it, it's fine. I wouldn't have asked at all if I'd known. I'm realizing that I've never shown interest in your...health. It's not because I don't care, I do.”

“There's probably a lot we still don't know about each other, Guerin,” Alex says. Michael raises an eyebrow at the use of his last name, an old habit that Alex has given up for the most part. But it's an appropriate reminder of their history. “We missed ten years of each other's life. Just because I know your big secret doesn't mean we don't have anything left to share.”

“I want to share things, though,” Michael breathes.

“Yeah, me too. This,” Alex gestures to his leg, “It's hard. I don't want to...it's hard to let myself look vulnerable. Even to you. Especially to you, sometimes.”

“Especially?”

“You remember what you said, 'if anyone's gonna destroy me, it might as well be you'? Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't give you too much ammunition. Because when you lash out, you know exactly where to strike.”

Michael reels back from that, shocked. “Is this about something I said recently?” he asks.

Alex shakes his head. “No. Look, I'm not saying that to argue with you. I'm just...trying to show you where I come from. With my father and my brothers, and then in the Air Force...any vulnerability you show will be turned against you. So my default mode is to hide. I don't want to be like that with you, but you've done it before, too. You go straight for the throat when you're hurt.”

“Shit,” Michael mutters. “You're not wrong. I don't like that it's my defense mechanism, but it is. I can't help it sometimes.”

“I know,” Alex says with a sad smile.

“I can't promise that it will never happen again, but I can promise to work on it? Like...I don't even know how, off the top of my head, but there has to be a way. I−I want to say that things like your leg will always stay off limits, but−”

“You can't promise that, either,” Alex murmurs. “I get that, too. Maybe I just need to take a leap of faith and decide to trust you.”

Michael bites his lip. “Maybe we could meet in the middle?”

Alex meets his gaze, large brown eyes shining just a little, and he nods slowly. Michael leans closer, putting down his fry, and their mouth meet before he even has his hand around Alex's neck.

“In the middle, yeah,” Alex breaks their kiss briefly to shift into a more comfortable position. “Sounds good.” He crashes his mouth against Michael's again.

Michael closes his eyes. This isn't a problem solved, not even close. But they can work on it, and that's all he needs for now.

[dragontrailz]

Greta Thunberg - Her Privilege Makes Her Blind To Her Own Manufacturing

This is what privilege looks like - 'Only people like me dare ask tough questions on climate’. Only the affluent upper middle classes could possible engineer a quote quite this stupid.

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2020/oct/11/greta-thunberg-people-like-me-ask-difficult-climate-questions

She’s not the only type of person to do this. She’s not the only person with a disability, autism or Asperger’s to speak up. She’s playing on the fact that she’s on the spectrum. Many people have spoken up before she did. Some of them from working class and ethnic backgrounds. She literally can’t see that her privilege, affluence and her parents connections have made this happen for her.  As Cory Morningstar has pointed out, Greta Thunberg’s mum was a WWF Hero of the Year in 2017; she does adverts for Greenpeace and moves in those circles. When the 15 year old created her Twitter account in 2018, after her mother, the next accounts she followed were Greenpeace Sweden, Greenpeace International, Greenpeace UK, Friends of the Earth International and Friends of the Earth USA. A little further down the list we find Bill McKibben, 350.org, fellow speakers who would join her at XR’s Declaration of Rebellion (months later on October 31st): George Monbiot and Rupert Read and soon after that We Don’t Have Time, an NGO that would play a crucial role, as well as This Is Zero Hour, their founder, Jamie Margolin and the main account for Extinction Rebellion. Morningstar also cites Callum Grieve, a former Communications Director at The Climate Group and We Mean Business, who now works for Mission 2020, as a key architect of her manufacturing. Grieve also assisted Thunberg; on the first day of her protest he was the third person to respond on that platform. He’s not a huge Twitter influencer though, as he doesn’t have so many followers there.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzCgKEjgCng

https://soundcloud.com/lastborninthewilderness/cory-morningstar

http://www.wrongkindofgreen.org/2019/01/17/the-manufacturing-of-greta-thunberg-for-consent-the-political-economy-of-the-non-profit-industrial-complex/

This 17 year old is still being used; but nows seem to enjoy the limelight so much, that they’ve made a film. Her mum is an opera singer, her dad an actor, she was propelled from her first protest to global superstar within weeks. On the day of her first protest, on August 20th, 2018, she was approached by We Don’t Have Time’s Ingmar Rentzhog who ‘discovered’ her and she was soon a major story, appearing on the front page of Swedish newspaper Aftonbladet the same day. Rentzhog had met Greta Thunberg’s mother at a climate event in May 2018, shortly before Greta’s Twitter account was set up. On September 1st, Greta Thunberg was featured in her first Guardian column. It’s worth noting that the Aftonbladet account was followed after those mentioned in the previous paragraph, which suggests she was looking to the global stage before the Swedish national stage. 

https://medium.com/@frackfree_eu/green-capitalism-is-using-greta-thunberg-66768db6c0e1

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2018/sep/01/swedish-15-year-old-cutting-class-to-fight-the-climate-crisis

The sequence of events which led to Greta’s sudden rise to prominence and the role of Ingmar Rentzhog is explained in more detail here:

https://www.news.com.au/finance/business/media/the-pr-guru-behind-the-rise-of-greta-thunberg/news-story/fae7bd1704d58e8ff0dd4d93ec0b3560

Talk of her “'zero-carbon yacht” in this article is nonsense. There is no such thing. Manufacture of it has embodied energy, besides which, how many of us can afford a transatlantic yacht for those times when we want to sail to the USA to lobby the climate capitalists in that country? The same narrative was peddled when she made her way from Sweden to London by electric car for XR’s Declaration of Rebellion on October 31st, 2018 (I was there that day). What was wrong with using public transport? Surely that would have conveyed a much more sustainable message? 

Climate change isn’t the only crisis we face; people have been trying to defend nature from the onslaught of extractive capitalism for a long time; again many of them were poor or Indigenous people, so their narratives were airbrushed away and they weren’t given a number of Guardian articles to platform themselves so that the middle classes could be softened up. 

Since those early days, the World Economic Forum meeting in Davos used Thunberg and the global media to manufacture consent for what’s coming - the new fake ‘Net Zero’ world, the '4th industrial revolution’ and next year’s 'New Deal for Nature’. 

http://www.wrongkindofgreen.org/2019/10/19/perfect-distractions-and-fantastical-mitigation-plans/

Thunberg herself happily plays along signing the letter about 'Natural Climate Solutions’ that appeared in the Guardian alongside fake green George Monbiot, who also wrote an abysmal column to go with it, which seemed to be more about geoengineering and terraforming than habitat restoration, particularly when the academic references to support his narrative are analysed. This climate-washing of the narrative has got to stop. 

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/apr/03/natural-world-climate-catastrophe-rewilding

The Climate Emergency Fund (USA), set up by Trevor Neilson and funded by Aileen Getty and Rory Kennedy are just one of the big money foundations who now fund the movement she helped create, Youth Strike. I was at the first big Youth Strike protest in London; it was organic and spontaneous. Children took the roads and risked arrest; the cops brought out mounted patrols, some children were arrested, later de-arrested. I noticed that several people within the UK, who’ve positioned themselves at the heart of the climate movement, people from 350, UK Youth Climate Coalition, Greenpeace, Friends of the Earth etc. were already there on the sidelines, coordinating and framing the media message. 

At the second big Youth Strike protest in London, the children were pushed aside, the speakers on the big red bus that positioned itself on Victoria Embankment were now mostly adults. The Trade Unions were now also in attendance, alongside other NGOs like Global Justice Now, War on Want and MPs like Jeremy Corbyn (he gave a great speech that day) and Caroline Lucas (she did not and seemed very irritable afterwards when I tried to speak to her, a first). The SWP were eagerly recruiting youngsters and filling their heads full of propaganda. It was painful to observe. 

By the third big protest, the children were told to march aimlessly around the streets of London, whilst 'activists’ from Greenpeace, FoE and 350 who had coordinated the event looked on. Something so energetic faded so quickly. Very little has happened since that day in Autumn last year, although #Covid19 perhaps has also been responsible for muting any efforts to mobilise. 

Her marketing team now seems to think a film about her, to go with the numerous books (yes, I’ve read one of them, the speeches have aged very badly) is now what’s required. Roger Hallam recently made a film, called 'The Troublemaker’, it was largely a work of propaganda. I wonder what Greta’s film will say? 

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2020/sep/16/i-am-greta-review-slick-yet-shallow-thunberg-documentary

“Intriguingly, even bafflingly, Grossman’s film begins by showing Thunberg’s pre-famous self as a high-schooler with her homemade climate strike placard, enduring a lonely vigil outside the Stockholm parliament every Friday with a few grumpy older shoppers coming up and telling her off for not being in school. Here she is: the non-famous nobody, and these scenes lead seamlessly to later moments showing her campaign taking off. So … does this mean Grossman has been prophetically following her career from the very beginning?“ 

This journalist has clearly not been following the story. That all these early protests were filmed shows they had much larger plans.

Do people think any of this is normal? This post is likely to grate with people. If it does, may I suggest you’re emotionally invested in this story and you can’t see what’s really happening. Step back and get some perspective. I invite discussion but nobody is fooling me with what’s happened over the last two years.

https://starecat.com/greta-thunberg-theyve-stolen-my-childhood-hardworking-kid-cool-story-bro/

Many people seem to be of the opinion that Greta can’t be criticised. There’s a confirmation bias in wanting to believe her story, from a one person protest to meeting world leaders, the UN and the Davos set at the World Economic Forum, where she platformed herself alongside David Attenborough and Jane Goodall. These people won’t engage with the narrative that indicates she’s been manufactured. This is compounded by her support from those in XR, who also can’t seem to see their own movement is also constructed and coupled to her story. A lot of the themes in her speeches, that of the planet being 'on fire’ or that we’re running ‘out of time’ are common to XR and Youth Strike and then later authors like Naomi Klein, and are based on mobilising people based on urgency. We’ve seen this go very badly wrong many times, notably in Afghanistan (See Adam Curtis - The Power of Nightmares)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwvSQ56HYg8&list=PL46FkcYcj-72IK9xFcWVRwoIu9Lfsi1S9&index=1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwvSQ56HYg8&list=PL46FkcYcj-72IK9xFcWVRwoIu9Lfsi1S9&index=2

 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GB8m6nNWpMA&list=PL46FkcYcj-72IK9xFcWVRwoIu9Lfsi1S9&index=3

In her film trailer, we see the time theme being repeated once again. Her father also continues to perpetuate the myth that she did this on her own.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mwk10YGPFiM

“My name is Greta Thunberg and I want you to panic!” - but this repeated doomerism has had a paralysing effect on many people. Other flanks of people have been mobilised to take action, notably within the UK as XR, which is a larger movement than Youth Strike. However, much of the mobilisation has been about virtue signalling, their virtuous non-violence and colourful boats has meant their movement has failed to really diversify beyond it’s white, middle class base. The movement appears to have now peaked and largely run out of money.

There is also the common theme of expecting governments to act to resolve this. When are people going to realise that’s not going to happen. Parliaments are not going to end capitalism. Who was the last parliamentary candidate who ran on a #degrowth platform? As such, both movements are self defeating and tend to reinforce hierarchy and statism. In the worst case scenario what they are asking for is EcoFascism. If people are struggling to deal with Covid19 restrictions on movement which have only brought about around a 6-7% decrease in greenhouse gas emissions, then how would they cope when they are told the truth about what ‘Net Zero’ would really mean: private cars would be banned, consumption would be drastically reduced along with an end to pointless bullshit jobs, international flights would be rationed and restricted and people in the Global North would have to eat perhaps 75% less meat. Some of us have made or are making these changes already and will be ready for this world when we run out of oil and when critical metal resource depletion also punctures the myth of the electric car. 

Net Zero within 5 years is a fallacy. Anyone who’s looked at the data knows this. The Centre for Alternative Technology in Machynlleth, Wales appear to be asking for a radical strategy in stating that a 60% reduction in primary energy usage is required, then you realise that they’ve massively underestimated the actual emissions as they don’t include consumption emissions from overseas. This suggests an 85-90% reduction in energy demand would be required. 

Meanwhile the IPCC based their models on a doubling of energy consumption between now and 2050. The pretence is maintained by claiming there are ‘Negative Emissions Technologies’ that will magically sequester away our historical and future carbon debt. The primary technology that they envision will do this, Bioenergy with Carbon Capture and Storage (BECCS) is not yet technically viable and never will be. It’s neither safe, nor ethical and it won’t reduce greenhouse gas emissions. Delaying the urgent mitigation required now leaves a larger problem for future generations. BECCS would also require huge amounts of land, freshwater and fertiliser and would destroy biodiversity, threaten food security and trample on Indigenous land rights. The IPCC ‘science’ that Greta Thunberg claims is her version of the truth, is merely only one part of the picture. There are good scientists and bad scientists. Which ones is she backing?

https://twitter.com/GretaThunberg/status/1318216965639503873

She seems blind to the modelling work going on which assumes that #BECCS is viable and cost effective, a trick of economic models within which subsidies and discounting correct for impossibilities. BECCS will never happen at scale as citizens will mobilise against it. Thus Thunberg’s attempt to lecture Joe Biden, who is well aware of what carbon capture is and has opened the door to it, merely show how little she understands the bigger picture. In the following article, Steve Horn explains how Biden has embraced carbon capture under pressure from oil industry lobbying, which will lead to enhanced oil recovery and won’t reduce emissions.

https://www.drillednews.com/post/biden-climate-change-platform-fossil-fuel-carbon-capture

In reality, what we now have is this pretend world of ‘Net Zero’ False Solutions, where corporations have taken centre stage. Yet, XR, Youth Strike and Greta Thunberg  are largely silent on this and are still screaming for governments to take action. In the UK, they did take action as XR suggested and set up a citizen’s assembly, which was then rigged to provide the wrong outcome as these resources clearly show. Under the guidance of the Committee on Climate Change, the process has been captured by false technofix solutions and corporate thinking. 

https://www.climateassembly.uk/resources/

The conversation is so far from where it needs to be. Greta now has a film about her life, which will make the middle classes feel like they can change the world if they just shout loudly enough. The trouble is their dominance of the debate and misdirection has wasted two years. Only Covid19 has really reduced emissions, as its forced a much needed reduction in hypermobility and a reduction in oil use. 

I hope people can start to see what’s happened over the last two years now. Some folks are waking up to the reality of what needs to be done. No one else is going to fix this mess but us. The only way we can do that is by collectively disengaging from the system, but in more constructive ways, where we can come together, build community and connection. I’ll be writing more about how we do this another time. The solutions need to be centred on mutual aid, land rights, agroecology and permaculture.

[brooktrout96]

Battle for Freedom

Freedom

free·dom [ˈfrēdəm]

1.the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint.

TVs blared with the exact same report all over the US as android were being sent away to be destroyed

At 6AM this morning, a national curfew was declared. Civilian movement will be strictly controlled, the right to assembly is suspended, all electronic communications are restricted, and I have granted enhanced powers to our security agencies. In addition to these measures, all androids must be handed over to the authorities immediately. Temporary camps are being set up in all our major cities to contain and destroy them. I am now asking all civilians to co-operate with the authorities, and rest assured that everything in our power is being done to guarantee the security of our nation.” President Warren gave her press conference to the whole world

Please! Madam President!”

Is it true that the androids could hack our IT systems, like nuclear power plants and military bases?”

All androids working on sensitive sites have been neutralized and all IT systems have been suspended to avoid any risks of hacking. The situation is under control.” She replied as more question were sent her way

Has the leader of the deviants been apprehended?”

The deviant that is known as Markus has not been located yet, but we will soon track it down and neutralize it.” She answered the question

A convoy of medical cobalt is reported missing. Army weapon stores are also said to have been robbed. Can you confirm these reports?”

I have no information on that at this time.” Warren seemed flustered, but her face didn’t show it as more questions were throwin her way.

What's gonna happen to CyberLife? Will androids be banned definitively?”

We're working very closely with CyberLife to neutralize all deviants. I won't make any comments about anything else until we have dealt with the android in question.” She hide the worried look on her face as quickly as it appeared

Many believe that androids are a new form of intelligent life. Do you have any comment?”

That's ridiculous. Next question, please?”  She said dismissively

What can you tell us about the assault that happened last night?”

The FBI raided an abandoned freighter in Detroit at 10:45PM yesterday. Several hundred androids were destroyed or captured. Our forces are now combing the streets to ensure that none got through the net. We are going to find them one by one and destroy them.”

Madam President, public opinion seems to have become increasingly favorable to the deviants, particularly since they've adopted a peaceful approach. How do you feel about this?”

Public opinion is one thing; the security of the state is another. These deviants are dangerous, and my highest priority is to protect the American people. Thank you. That will be all.” She turned and walked away from the podium.

One last question, Madam President!” Then another news report came in.

We're coming to you live from Detroit where thousands of androids are marching through the city at this very moment. The leader of the deviants, the one they call Markus, is at the head of the march.

~***~

10:56 PM

Hart Plaza

Here we are.... The moment of truth.” Markus said as he glanced back at the few thousand of androids who decided to marching behind him with Y/N beside him

Surrender immediately or we will open fire! Stand by!” the soldiers all cocked their gun ready to fire on the androids

We don't want confrontation! We are protesting peacefully.” Markus said as he and the androids held their position  “We ask that you release all androids detained in camps and cease all aggression against us. We are peaceful. We will not resort to violence. But we are not leaving until our people are free.”

FIRE! FIRE!” The leader of the soldiers said as Y/N spoke

Are you gonna open fire on unarmed protestors‽” The solider raised his hand to stop the others as he realized that there was a human with the androids as he spoke

All teams hold your fire!” The man in the helicopter spoke to the camera as he let the whole world know what was going on

....Yes, Michael, we are less than a hundred meters away, and events are unfolding as we speak. We will continue to bring you live updates. Joss Douglas, Channel 16. Michael? Back to you.” Then Y/N turned to Markus and looked him in his two-tone eyes

Markus, what do we do now?” He let out a sigh as he spoke to her

We hold out. As long as we can....”

~***~

Fifty minutes later the androids are rushing around making a large barricade to protect themselves as they waited for the army next move on them

We all know that's not gonna stop them.... Just hope it buys us some time.” Simon said as he looked resigned to his fate

No, there is a way, if we have to fight, we will fight back to protect ourselves, but we should try to be as peaceful as we can be.” Y/N said as she looked at the remaining androids as an android spoke

Many of our people have fallen.... The humans have no pity for those who are different....” Y/N and Markus let out a sigh

What are we gonna do if they attack?” Josh asked as he looked over at Markus as Markus spoke to him and the remaining androids.

Resist and do what Y/N said to do.... That's the only thing we can do.” Y/N let out a sigh and smiled at her lover as Simon shook his head

Do you think Connor has any chance of making it?” He asked as Y/N shook her head

If there is a chance, it would be a god damn miracle for Connor to save our hide.”

For now, we can only count on ourselves now....” Markus said as he let out a sigh as he grabbed Y/N’s arm

Y/N would you stay away from this. I want you to live and if you are found out.” Y/N interrupted him

Markus, I love you and I would do anything for you. You save me more then you know, and I want to help save your…. No! Our people.” She was interrupted by North as she ran up to them.

This won't hold them for long but.... I guess it's better than nothing....” Markus then turned to the remaining androids and glanced at the recycling center then back at the androids

They're slaughtering us on the other side of that barbed wire.... There's nothing we can do about it…. Did I make the right choices? Maybe we could have avoided all of this.... I hoped they would finally understand.... That they would realize how much they're hurting us.... Why do they refuse to see what we are? How many more of us have to die? Is there any cause worth giving your life for?” He muttered to himself as Y/N put her hand on his shoulder and said to him

You're the hope of your, no our people. I trust you. We all trust you. No matter what happens now, we're making history, and something will give.” Markus nodded as he turned to prepare his next move as an FBI agent arrived on the scene and north let him know what was going on

Markus! Markus, come look!”

Markus!” The agent yelled as Y/N gave him a hated looked as she let his name pass threw her lips

Perkins!”

I've come to talk to you, Markus! Come on, you have my word, they won't try anything.” He said as he gestured to the solders as Simon stopped Markus

Don't go, it's a trap.” Perkins continued to speak

I'm unarmed, Markus. I just want to talk.” Markus let out a sigh as he turned to the other leaders of Jericho

I need to hear what he has to say.” North looked him in the eyes and asked him

What if they kill you?”

That's a chance I'll have to take.” He said to her as he left the safety of the barricade to talk to Perkins

In a few minutes, the troops will be ordered to charge. None of you will survive.... It will all be over. But you can avoid that, Markus.”

What do you mean?” Markus asked in a questioning tone

Surrender.” Perkins said as he looked at the leader of the Deviants. “Surrender and I give you my word your life will be spared.” He gestured to the other Deviants “They'll be detained but, none of you will be destroyed.” Markus wasn’t as trusting of the man’s words

What happened to the other androids demonstrating in the camps?” he asked as he study the man and scanned him to see if he was telling the truth. “If I accept your offer, how do I know you'll keep your word?”

You're not in any position to be demanding guarantees, Markus. All you can do right now is decide whether you want to trust me or not. You're it. You're the last remaining deviants.” Markus let out a sigh

“I'm not afraid to die. If I have to give my life for what I believe in, then I won't have lived in vain.” Perkins looked over to where Y/N was standing holding a flag with the symbol of the Deviants, of Jericho on it

Y/N.... You seem to really care about her.... Dare I say in love with her. You don't want her to die, do you, she is just a human? You know, you could both be free. You could forget about all this, you could.... start a new life someplace else, just the two of you.... Her life is in your hands, Markus. Just say the word and she'll be spared.” Perkins tried to use Y/N as leverage over Markus and he hope that he would take it to protect the woman that he loved but then Y/N dropped the flag as she had a feeling at what Perkins was trying to do, and she jumped over the barricade and walked over to her lover, shaking her head at Perkins

Perkins, you are wrong about me. I haven’t been human since I was caught in a terrorist attack by Russia that the FBI were supposed to stop but didn’t.” She hissed as she disabled her skin as her whole body became the white plastic of an android. “If the US is going to recycle all of their androids that mean I , a human who was turned into an android to survive and live another day will be too.” She then looked at the helicopter and then back at Perkins as she declared something that most people that knew her never knew except for one

I am the first android-human hybrid and the first android to have emotions. I am the one that the Deviants call Ra9.” She declared as the remaining androids looked in awe. “I am the one that the Deviants say will sent them free. I am a human turned into an android because a friend didn’t what me to die.” She smiled as the androids cheered and she waited for them to quiet down. “Android can have emotions, it’s not a glitch in their programing, it has never been that way, they were made to be like us. Who would want something or someone who looked like a human but didn’t act like a human.” Y/N stared at the helicopter and the camera zoom in on her white featureless face as she spoke.

“Right now, Madam President you are doing what Hitler did to the Jewish and people that didn’t fit his mold. You are killing innocent lives, people who just want to live, who want to be free.” Y/N became silent as Markus took a step next to her and he shook his head. “I'd rather die here than betray my people, the ones who if they knew the truth before all this, they wouldn’t shun me because of what I am. Unlike humans who think anything that dosen’t seem human is a slave for them to do what they please to.” He took Y/N’s white plastic hand, turned and they walked back to the androids and their barricades as Perkins yelled at them

Well, you just signed your own death warrant.”

What happened, Markus? Y/N? What did he say?” North had a worried look on her face as she looked the two over. Y/N had a somber look on her face as Markus had a determined look on his face as he spoke to the remaining androids

The humans are about to launch an attack. And we will show them that we are not afraid. If we must die today, then we will die free.”

[kiruuuuu]

Kapkan/Glaz oneshot in which Glaz implicitly makes a bet with Kapkan. (Rating T, fluff/humour, ~2k words) - You might’ve come across this snippet on my AO3 here, under 1.5! I’ve never posted it on tumblr before but as I’ve written a second part, I figured it’s easier to have both in the same place :) Enjoy!!

.

A whip crack resounding in the thick summer air, slicing through heavy humidity and echoing off in the distance. “You son of a wet noodle”, Glaz breathes softly and furrows his brows, squinting disapprovingly through the scope to find his target undisturbed, gently blowing in the wind.

“You curse like a girl”, Kapkan tells him without looking up from his small sculpture. It’s not entirely clear what it’s supposed to be, but if Glaz had to guess, he’d have said a mixture of Sledge and a tragically disabled aardvark. Kapkan has recently picked up the hobby of carving and is still in the honeymoon phase, as the rest of Spetsnaz likes to call it, meaning he genuinely believes it’s going to work out and refuses to accept any criticism. It usually lasts two weeks, then the five stages of grief begin until the Russian finds a new hobby and delves into it head first.

“Didn’t you hear Mira when she dropped Montagne’s shield on her foot?”, comes a laconic remark from the side, “Cursing like a girl is a compliment.” Tachanka lies poured onto a sun lounger, ironically so since he wishes nothing more than to escape the heat. The ice in his glass of water has long melted and normally he wouldn’t grace the younger operators with his presence at these temperatures, were it not for the remnants of the stink bomb that Smoke accidentally detonated in the base. Sun is easier to stomach than a stench so bad it made even Smoke himself gag.

“This shot is impossible.” Glaz sits up annoyed and searches for the scarf without the help of any magnification, doesn’t find it – unsurprisingly. Kapkan has tied it somewhere onto a tree and Glaz uses it as practise, though it seems Kapkan overestimated his abilities when he chose their spot earlier. They usually spend the afternoons together, only Fuze absent today.

“Nothing is impossible”, Kapkan objects and almost hacks off his middle finger. Watching him usually gives Glaz mini heart attacks. “You’re just not trying enough.”

His patience is waning. He’s been attempting the shot for almost an hour now, adjusting for wind and distance and whatnot, and is almost at the point where he declares defeat. He’s sweaty and hungry and the steady bitching from the old man and the irregular sounds of Kapkan chipping away at his abomination are getting to him. “Oh yeah?”, he snaps back without meaning to. “Why don’t you try it then?”

Astonishingly, Kapkan agrees. He shouldn’t, he’s always been terrible at sniping and it’ll be a wonder if he doesn’t take out Tachanka’s lukewarm water instead. “What’s the closest thing you’ve hit?”, he asks and drops his carving into the impressive pile of not-quite sawdust at his feet from which he might never rescue it again. Maybe that’s actually the plan.

“Trunk of the tree it’s tied to”, Glaz replies and doesn’t care that he’s pouting now. He dislikes being bested, often refuses to even allow for the chance – he knows Kapkan won’t make it, yet the mere thought of it is distasteful. He stands up and stretches his stiff legs, can’t suppress a yawn and gestures for his teammate to take his place behind his rifle.

“I don’t know why you’re even trying”, Tachanka mumbles what everyone’s thinking from behind his oversized sunglasses. He’s yet to move a muscle since he’s taken up post on the sunbed.

“Don’t underestimate me.” Kapkan wiggles his eyebrows at Glaz (who merely returns his gaze unamused) and lies down on the cool dirt floor. He’s wearing a simple t-shirt that flatters his toned arms and rides up a little while he’s making himself comfortable, exposing a pale strip of skin unmarred by the merciless sun. Glaz is not staring. He’s not.

“You’re not going to make it”, he points out and crosses his arms. No answer from Kapkan who’s lining up the shot. “If you make it, I will literally suck your dick.”

It’s a phrase that’s basically lost all meaning during the few weeks they’ve used it, Fuze overheard it from Mute maybe or Rook and turned it into the ultimate dare, the others adapting and jokingly repeating it every time one of them attempts anything vaguely impossible. So far, no one has managed. Glaz steals some of Tachanka’s water while Kapkan wastes the first bullet. It’s not going to happen now and in a few weeks they’ll start using a different inside joke and –

“You’d better come see this”, says Kapkan and there’s something in his voice that makes Glaz’ stomach drop abruptly. He almost spits out the water and wastes no time in joining his fellow countryman on the ground, pushing him out of the way and checking the scope. He realises too late that it’s going to be a prank that he fell for again, as he usually does, and that Kapkan will begin laughing at him any moment now. Only… no one is laughing.

There’s a hole in the scarf.

Glaz blinks, not comprehending what his eyes are telling him. He’s acutely aware of the uncomfortably warm body next to him and his own breathing and the innocent words he’s uttered without thinking. There’s no chance he’ll ever live this down. “You’re fucking kidding me”, he whispers because he can’t help himself.

“There you go, use grown-up swears.” Kapkan sounds highly amused. “You know what this means, right?”

“No way in hell did he make the shot”, Tachanka slurs from his deathbed.

“He fucking made the fucking shot.” Glaz is furious. Mostly at himself for not accomplishing what Kapkan managed first try.

“Ooh, sounds like someone needs to walk off the rage”, Kapkan continues teasing him while wearing a shit eating grin that does nothing to alleviate Glaz’ frustration. “We can go to the shed to get some water, I’m dying of thirst. Want us to refill your glass, ‘Chanka? It’s probably at a nice kiddie pool temperature at this point.”

“With less piss”, is Tachanka’s only reply and so Kapkan takes it, pours the water into the nearest bush and repeats meaningfully: “ ‘Less.’ ”

They walk back to ‘the shed’, a tiny hut in the woods not far from the base containing various tools, chairs and a sink with running water that’s pleasantly cool even in this season. “I can’t believe you made it”, Glaz grumbles on the way, shaking his head. “How did you even – you couldn’t have –”

“But I did, and isn’t that a shame.” Kapkan holds the door open for him and if nothing else has made Glaz suspicious until now, this gesture undoubtedly should. His alarm bells should be going off full force. Yet all he does is ponder the impossibility of Kapkan’s feat, whether he’s made any glaring mistakes himself, whether he should take apart his sniper rifle to find the reason. “Do you want to get it over with right away?”

His thoughts grind to a halt. He stops. Turns towards Kapkan and finds the door to the tiny building shut and the Russian frightfully close to him. “What -” His voice breaks, he averts his gaze, tries again. “What are you talking about?”

“You said it yourself. You can’t back off now. A deal’s a deal.” Kapkan sounds reasonable, which is the worst thing about it, he’s reassuring him and makes the outrageous demand seem sensible.

“You’re not serious.” The I hope is implied though Glaz can’t bring himself to voicing it. His thighs are growing weaker by the second. This is another joke. It has to be.

“I’m deadly serious”, says Kapkan and he does seem sincere – though he’s an excellent liar when he wants to be. “You’re not one to shun a challenge, are you?”

He pictures it. For one glorious second, he toys with the idea of just yanking down Kapkan’s pants right here and is overcome with a heat wave not only induced by the stuffy air in the shed. “I didn’t mean it”, he insists, “you’re pulling my leg, you know I didn’t mean it, don’t be so…”

“If you really want to do it, you’d better get on your knees.” Kapkan is entirely unbothered by his words, smirking and placing a hand on Glaz’ shoulder, but what really constitutes the last straw is that his thumb brushes over Glaz’ collarbone in a gesture that is entirely too familiar and, most of all, suggestive. He opens his mouth to protest and doesn’t expect the push and his legs buckle and suddenly he’s kneeling on the dusty floorboards, his eyes level with Kapkan’s belt.

Okay. Sure. He can salvage this. His dignity has only suffered a little. Kapkan doesn’t know Glaz is half-hard right now and in this position he’s not going to find out either. Convenient, really. “I’m not going to suck you off.” He enunciates each word clearly in case Kapkan decides to be hard of hearing all of a sudden. “You’re being ridiculous. Where is this even coming from?”

“Look, do you want me to tell everyone that you never really did Sledge’s dare? Huh? I’ve kept quiet as a favour but I could -”

This is when Glaz understands. Kapkan facetiously blackmails people all the time, threatens to enlighten the world about Fuze’s showering habits if he doesn’t stop stealing his food, tells Smoke he’s going to expose his contraband hiding spots whenever he refuses to cease his current shenanigans (which is always), it happens a lot. What most people don’t know: Kapkan is usually not joking. Not really.

Just like he isn’t now.

Their gazes are locked, Kapkan’s considerably less confident than a few seconds ago, he must’ve realised his blunder, must know he’s betrayed himself. He’s looking down at Glaz like a trapped animal, ready to lash out or flee and chooses the second option, switches to the first when Glaz instinctively reaches out and grabs his trouser leg, keeps him in place. They scuffle briefly and hardly with any force behind it and somehow Kapkan loses balance and stumbles and one of his hands lands on the back of Glaz’ head and the next thing he knows is that his face is pressed into Kapkan’s crotch.

All he can think is: Oh.

Because there’s something quite obvious denting his cheek.

The door flies open. “You almost hit me holy shit what are you two doing?!” That voice unmistakably belongs to Fuze who’s standing in the doorway in casual clothing plus a handgun by his side and looking like he just ran a marathon, of which Glaz takes note after Kapkan panics and shoves him away so he’s again able to see something other than the seam of Kapkan’s trousers. To his knowledge, Fuze is supposed to be somewhere completely different while dressed completely different.

You almost hit me. Fuze has a gun for no apparently reason. Together with the guilty and fantastically sheepish look on Kapkan’s face, it’s easy to connect the dots, so Glaz starts laughing. Fuze looks utterly lost by now. “You didn’t fucking make the shot”, Glaz wheezes and would double over if he was standing. He’s dying to know how Kapkan managed to convince Fuze for his participation. It’s an impressively elaborate plan just to coerce him into doing something he would’ve done voluntarily and might’ve done regardless hadn’t Kapkan wounded Glaz’ brittle pride with the claim of sniping better than him.

He can hardly stop giggling, especially when faced with Kapkan’s stony face and the mumbled “let’s never talk about this again, alright?” and Fuze’s dumb ignorant expression. They gather a few chairs, fill up water bottles and Tachanka’s glass and refuse to answer any of Fuze’s increasingly irritated questions.

When they’re about done, Glaz turns to Kapkan and tells him with a bright smile: “You could’ve just asked, you know?” Leaving him to figure out what to do with that information, he steps out of the hut into the sweltering sunshine.

[fallout4holmes]

Journal 57

Valentine woke me before dawn. “Bad news, Holmes.”

I sat up and saw the Minuteman standing behind him. She saluted briefly, “Sorry to wake you, sir, but it’s urgent.”

I thought I recognized her, “Proceed… Nash, wasn’t it?”

“Yessir,” she smiled at my recollection before somberly stating, “there’s been trouble in Sanctuary.”

She had my undivided attention, “Explain.”

“A squad of Brotherhood camped out in Concord without us knowing. They sent a soldier into Sanctuary for recon, but he was discovered by one of those robots Sturges has been working on. Fight broke out, Minutemen joined the fray, no Brotherhood survivors. Colonel Garvey thinks they didn’t have a chance to send a distress signal. According to the orders present on one of them, they were to wait for Maxson’s signal to attack.”

“He has his people in position,” I sighed, irritated. “We’re out of time."

"The hell we are," Valentine huffed. "There's still a maniac out there setting psychotic robots loose on the Commonwealth, and the Minutemen aren't gonna just stand by and let the Brotherhood walk all over them. We finish the job we started, and take what comes."

"You're right," I jumped up and started getting ready to leave, an urgent energy I hadn't felt in too long surging through me. "Find Ada and wake Cait, we'll breakfast on the road. We haven't a moment to lose."

We hurried north, reaching Goodneighbor a few hours after sundown. Cait requested we stop for a moment so that she could speak with Hancock. I agreed; I also wanted to speak with Goodneighbor's mayor, especially considering the war's imminent arrival.

We found him in his office, as expected. Unexpectedly, he was in the middle of a heated discussion with a visitor.

"Bad enough Diamond City isn’t doing anything, why don't—“

“What am I supposed to do, Piper, huh? Brotherhood come for us, let ’em, we’re ready to defend our walls, but if I lead a crew against a skyscraper full of soldiers, how do you think that’s gonna end?”

“We could use Zhao’s missiles or—“

“I ain’t convinced that submarine’s really going to be able to strike all the way out here, assuming it’s even still there. Ain’t willing to risk my people’s blood on it, that’s for sure.”

Piper groaned, frustrated, “Fine, sit here if you want, but I have to do something, there has to be some way I can help. Blue’s in Jamaica Plain last I heard, maybe I can find him.” She turned and saw us coming up the stairs. To my surprise, her gaze went straight to one of my companions rather than me. “Cait!”

Hancock rushed to the doorway to see for himself. "Well," he grinned, "Welcome back."

Cait was suddenly withdrawn, another stunning development, "Hey."

“You ok?” Piper asked.

“Fine,” Cait shrugged, “Never better, actually. Uh. Thanks, for worryin’.” She huffed and regained her usual confidence, “We can talk an' all later, but Holmes has business with ya, Hancock.”

“Why do I get the feeling this business ain’t the fun kind,” Hancock said with a swagger, “despite what the outfit suggests?”

“Maxson will give the order to attack soon," I said, "possibly in a few days, possibly in a few minutes.”

“C’mon, you ain’t gonna be in character this time? I’m disappointed, Shroud.”

I ignored him. “Did I overhear mention of a submarine?”

“There’s a Chinese sub in the bay,” Piper explained. “It’s been stuck there since the War. The Captain turned ghoul, been living there ever since.”

“We helped get him seaworthy, and for payment we get a single shot of his missiles,” Hancock said.

“You sure you two ain’t been sharin’ a bad batch of somethin’?” Cait asked.

“You know Piper won’t touch chems,” Hancock scoffed.

"I have an idea for how those missiles would be extremely useful," I said.

"Ask me like the Shroud," Hancock broadly smiled, "and we'll see what we can do."

We continued our trip north, this time in the company of Piper. Hancock didn't want to leave his town on the eve of war, and I didn't attempt to convince him otherwise. Cait and Piper continued on toward the airport while Valentine, Ada, and I went to the RobCo Sales & Service Center, where Ada reported the Mechanist’s lair was hidden.

"A robot-building villain hiding out in a run down robot shop?" Valentine commented as we stepped inside and saw a showroom for RobCo-brand terminals, most of which were long destroyed.

"I doubt this was ever simply a shop," I said.

"You mean because the Mechanist had to get the robobrains from somewhere, and they sure weren't selling those to the public?" Valentine asked as he went behind the service desk.

"We should look in the garage and see if there's any indication of a hidden entrance."

"Laser tripwire behind the 'employees only' door seems a good place to start."

I hurried over, Ada following. After disabling the tripwire, we passed through the corridor to a basement area with a blastproof door, a strange device to the side of it.

“Allow me, sirs,” Ada approached the door and activated the M-SAT device Sturges had installed from Jezebel’s plans.

The door opened, and we entered the underground facility.

What we found was the remains of a nightmare. Criminals housed in cells were later operated upon to remove their brains, which were then wiped of memories and run through a series of tests before being mounted to any number of devices. Many brains were still preserved, thus providing the Mechanist with necessary material without needing new subjects. According to the terminals, not all of the memory wipes were successful. Minds that woke, panicked in the dark, were destroyed. One transcript showed a psychopath unconcerned with his new lack of body and firm conviction that every scientist in the facility would be killed was seen as a prime candidate for a tactical team. Even before the War, there were indications of the robobrains misinterpreting orders, the flexibility of the human mind rewiring itself to fit what it thinks is the more efficient option. This place was the perfect example of the military and their scientists being so focused on whether or not they could accomplish their goal, they never stopped to wonder if they should. Then at some point this Mechanist found the facility, and picked up where they left off.

I don’t want to dwell on what we saw down there. I noticed a decontamination corridor as we entered, leading to an elevator with an access terminal requiring voice authorization. Imagining we had no choice, we fought our way past a variety of robots guarding the facility until I was fortunate enough to find holotapes recorded by the supervisor of each department. I hoped that these would be enough to trigger the vocal recognition and unlock the elevator. I was correct.

The elevator took us to a control room with computer banks all along the walls, each terminal manned by a small robobrain that rapidly typed orders to run the facility. The room was filled with the noise of terminal keys clacking, and there in the middle stood a figure in the costume of a comic book character - The Mechanist.

“Well, hell, Shroud, you were right,” Valentine muttered.

“Impossible!” The Mechanist declared as we were spotted, “I control all points of access to this room!”

“You underestimated me,” I said. “The Silver Shroud is no common criminal.”

The Mechanist was confused, “The Silver Shroud?” Confusion turned to disdain, and furthered my suspicion of the Mechanist’s mental instability, “I cannot believe someone so respected, so honorable, would come here and destroy my robots. Your reign of terror ends here, Shroud!”

I had to think quickly, “The Shroud, as always, walks the path of justice. It is you who has fallen, Mechanist.”

“Lies, Shroud! Lies! The Commonwealth has suffered more than its fair share of injustices because of you.”

“The Silver Shroud is no villain. The only guilty here are you and your relentless automatons.”

“My bots would never violate their protocol!”

Valentine had had enough. “Those bots are killing innocent people!”

“My friends were simple traders,” Ada said. “All dead at the hands of your robots.”

The Mechanist was shaken, “No. The robots are programmed to protect. Their subroutines are clean: observe, evaluate, and react accordingly.”

“They're misinterpreting orders,” I tried to explain. “Your own robobrain said as much. They're saving people by killing them.”

“Saving by... killing? I don't believe you. They can't alter their programming. They're programmed to save people, not kill them. And the data! They were always reporting hostiles killed and lives... saved.” The Mechanist paused in a moment of horrible realization. “No, it's... the logic... it's there... I can see it now. I was hoping it was the robobrains, an issue with their memory wipes... but you're right. Their primary directive was flawed.”

“Memory wipes?” Valentine asked.

The Mechanist nodded, “Yes. The human brain has a way of… rewiring itself. If not properly maintained, it can… corrupt.”

"Corrupt?! That's the understatement of the year.”

I tried to keep the Mechanist focused on the truth, “A serious flaw, and a dangerous one at that.”

“It is,” the Mechanist agreed, “but the process is thorough. They're wiped after each mission. They're... I found it's best to not let them recall what they've been through.”

Ada spoke, “The introduction of a human brain creates too many unknown variables. You can’t claim to know them all.”

“There's probably a reason these robots weren't in mass production,” Valentine muttered.

We had gotten through, but the Mechanist was still in denial. “I… I need to think. I took every precaution…”

“You know we are telling you the truth,” I said. “Your robots are dangerous. They had to be stopped.”

The Mechanist shook his head in disgrace, “... the hero unknowingly became the villain. I wanted to help the Commonwealth… and robots are all I know. I found this place and figured I could do my part. I accept full responsibility. I can’t take back what I’ve done or even atone for it… but this doesn’t have to end in violence.”

I was relieved to hear it. I gave the Shroud one final moment; “Though your action initially appeared felonious, your intent was not. Seek redemption, Mechanist. You have much to atone for.”

With a sigh of relief, the Mechanist declared, “Done. Consider it done. And you won't regret this, I promise. None of the Commonwealth will.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” I said, and removed the hat. “Permit me to introduce myself properly. I am Sherlock Holmes, of Valentine’s Detective Agency, and General of the Minutemen. This is my partner Nick Valentine, and our friend Ada.”

The Mechanist, with great trepidation, carefully removed the mask to reveal a young woman. “I’m Isabel. Isabel Cruz.”

“Can I ask why the Mechanist get-up?” Valentine gently asked.

She shifted uncomfortably. “I’m… not good with people. The Mechanist gave me a way to put myself out there without really being out there at all. I grew up on a settlement, I’ve seen how good people struggle against raiders and super mutants. I never wanted to be counted among them. But all my technical knowledge, all of these resources, and I still failed. I only ever wanted to make the Commonwealth a safer place.” She held out a holotape, “Here. Take this. It's the password to the mainframe. Use the password to shut down the security. After that, the base is yours.”

“On the contrary, Ms. Cruz, I think you should stay,” I said.

“What?”

“You want to help the Commonwealth? Work for me as a resource for the Minutemen, and you will have a chance to do just that.”

She was stunned. “The Minutemen? You… you want me to build robots for your army?”

“Units to support troops will be extremely helpful, but primarily I thought you could put your efforts to good use creating defenders for settlements.”

“There are still many rogue robots roaming the Commonwealth,” Ada pointed out. “The Minutemen will need all the help they can get, especially once this war is over.”

Ms. Cruz nervously nodded. “I’ll… I’ll try my best. Maybe I can fix some of the damage I’ve done.”

The facility's security was disabled, and Ms. Cruz gave us a proper tour of her assembly line and her capabilities. She is a nervous young woman, now guilt-ridden, but with determination and drive. I promised she would hear from my Chief Engineer soon.

Ada asked to speak with me. "While not wholly unexpected, that outcome was not the one I believed to have the highest probability."

No, it certainly wasn't. "Are you disappointed I let her live?"

She sounded concerned, "I do have conflicting outlooks, but I trust your judgment. The guilt of her actions is a punishment in itself."

"You don't quite believe that," I observed.

"I do trust your judgement, but yes, I also have doubts concerning Isabel's… potential. She could use a companion she didn't build herself."

"Are you volunteering?"

"Yes, sir. The mission was a success; the Commonwealth doesn't have to fear the Mechanist any longer. I would like to stay and make sure it never does again. She will also need help working for the Minutemen, and I will assist however I can."

"I think that's an excellent idea, Ada. For now, I wonder if we might be able to convince the newly reformed Mechanist to provide a few scrapbots for our use?"

[cactusnotes]

Cultural Globalisation

Cultures and traditions, through globalisation, have been intermingling, creasing a whole array of good and bad impacts, the base for striking debates, and for me importantly: a chunk of what my exams are probably going to be on. Well, here are my notes and case studies:

In 1959, Fidel Castro declared Cuba to be a communist country, separated from Western capitalism. It remained isolated for 50 years, relying on subsidies from communist USSR until 1991, when it collapsed. Cuba seemed to have no other option but to allow in tourism to develop its economy, resulting in increasing awareness of other cultures. 

In 2008, Fidel Castro resigned, and his brother took over, and decided to weaken communism. Free enterprise businesses were allowed to set up, in a relaxed communism that somewhat reflected China’s. Since 2012, Cubans could buy and sell houses, take out loans and start businesses, at the loss of state-employment guarantees and state-owned farmland was sold. This allowed USA-Cuban relations to improve. However, it has increased divisions, with some wealthy Cuban entrepreneurs living in luxury, while some live in tumble-down houses, with no variety in their simple diet--bread, eggs and plantain and state rations. This is as differences in wealth, and person leads to different chances of success. From then, it’s positive feedback, as the poor cannot help their kids do better. Capitalists too, don’t have such incentive to help their workers.

Today, Cuba is in a state of change. Tourists, TV and the internet have allowed Cubans to broaden their knowledge of the wider world, and learn about the challenges to their values and traditions, so globalisation is diluting Cuban culture. This cultural erosion has also led to a detriment in the environment, with the coral reefs at risk as beach-side tourist resorts are erupted.  This process is called cultural diffusion: Western attitudes and values have spread to Cuba, and also to around the world. Maintaining a strong Cuban identity is very difficult.

The economy changes, ways of life changes, attitudes and values change. Global changes are impacting how people view the world, and these global changes can be seen on a local level: called glocal cultures. British cities have been transformed by inwards migration to hubs of cultural diversity, with its own new character, new identity, compared to just a mix of others. These areas are called ethnic enclaves, with some examples being Indian populations in London, South East, and East of England.

There are several key ideas surrounding this concept of globalisation of society: culture is the ideas, customs and social practices of a particular people or society; cultural diffusion is the spread of cultural beliefs and activities from one group (ethnicities, religions, nationalities) to another through communication, transport and technology; cultural erosion is when cultural diversity is reduced through popularisation; cultural imperialism is when one culture of a nation is promoted over another, otherwise known as westernisation. 

The main culprits of cultural imperialism, westernisation and americanisation are, of course, Europe and North America, turning western culture into a global culture. The factors amplifying this today include TNCs, tourism, global media and migration. The main protector of individual cultures is language: things don’t translate straight into each other, something is lost in translation. But as the same groups control global media, which impacts language, there is increasingly common vocabulary.  Global homogenisation is the process of culture everywhere becoming one.

News Corp, owned by Rupert Murdoch, impacts political and cultural thinking worldwide. They have 101 newspapers in Australia (national and suburban); four in the Uk including The Times and The Sun; over 25 papers in the USA including The New York Post and The Wall Street Journal and a 33% share in Russia’s leading financial times paper. Television wise: Fox is theirs; My Network TV; channels in Eastern Europe, Israel, Indonesia and NZ. Their satellites are: BSkyB in the UK, Foxtel in Aus, SKY in NZ/Ita/Ger and StarTV in Asia. Politically, Fox TV in the USA openly supports the Republican Party, while every winning party in the UK since 1979 has been promoted by the Sun (EW, WHY UK?).

IT and digital communication means that the rate and desire of consumption has changed, and the products themselves have changed, as hybrid products are on the rise, where global TNCs create a cultural mix. What we consume generally is based on the work of small groups of big TNCs. 90% of the music market is owned by five companies: EMI, Universal, AOL, Time Warner, SonyBMG. They’ve focused on cutting the range of successful artists: it’s easier to promote one than promote several. This one becomes universal, rather than having different, local artists, contributing to homogenisation in the music world. Globalisation is the new term for cultural imperialism, and helps this musical homogenisation as it promotes the spread of TNCs due to easier connections to promote one thing worldwide, and distribute one product rather than  just producing local music.

Some may consider the change of value as a good thing (the fact that the textbook author portrays this as good literally demonstrates this westernisation, as he proposes that these values are right. Don’t get me wrong, I 100% agree that these values are good, but the fact that he’s portraying them positively is literally proof of what he’s saying and it’s funny. Or is that just me? Just me, sorry, ignore this). One of these is the attitude to disability. In China, 2011, official data reported that only 25% of disabled people could find employment. They were stigmatised, marginalised, abused. Yet, in 2012, they won the paralympics. This helps to destigmatize disability (but boy, have we got far to go!) as described by disabled Australian TV presenter Adam Hills: “Sydney was the first Paralympics to treat Paralympians as equals. London was the first to treat them as heros”. The West is adopting more liberal ideas on ethical issues, such as gay rights (gay rights!), and we can see that homogenisation is far off from total control, with how this contrasts with attitudes in places like Russia and the Middle East.

There is obviously resistance to globalisation. I personally feel like these notes do portray it as negative until the last few paragraphs. It’s perceived to be exploitation of people and the environment. The general criticisms link to: the environment, third world debt, animal rights, child-labour, anarchism, and mostly anti-capitalism and opposition to TNCs. There are many anti-globalisation and environmental pressure groups rejecting globalised culture and TNCs especially (like tax avoidance). The Occupy is one such group, and held demonstrations in cities like London and New York (now that is ironic). The main targets for anti-globalisation movements are the WTO, IMF and World Bank, as well as large US TNCs like McDonald and Starbucks, on the exploitation of the workers, and environment, making it easier for the rich to get away with wrong, and erasing cultures (Americanisation).

Anti-globalisation and rejection of cultural diffusion can even occur on a governmental level. Iran confiscated Barbie Dolls for being un-islamic in the 2000s, but ended up liberalised due to a need for international assistance in dealing with radicalism, and the youth still accessing banned social media, like Twitter and Facebook. Until the 2000s, France led the anti-globalisation movement, limiting broadcasting of foreign material--40% of broadcasts had to be French and no more than 55% American film imports--but has had to liberalise this due to internet downloading of media and due to successful TNCs from France, like EDF energy.

In Norway, for hundreds of years, local fishermen have hunted whales and the food source was considered part of their tradition and culture. The Norwegian representatives claimed that their northern coastal villages depended on hunting and fishing for their livelihoods. Although whaling is not a big part of the Norwegian national budget, it is still considered a crucial source of income for those fishermen who need it. They also argued that the global effort to prohibit the hunting of whales amounted to an imposition of other countries' cultural values that contradicted their own, since it cannot be environmental concerns, for the whales they hunted were not endangered--it’s all based on values. The US Department of Commerce has even suggested that trade restrictions be imposed upon Norway, because it was violating the International Whaling Commission's ban on these kinds of whaling activities. Here, the environment, different values and nationalism clash.

Papua New Guinea has over 7000 cultural groups, with different languages, diets, etc. living in different villages or hamlets, and generally sustained by subsidence farming, fishing and collection. People who are skilled and also generous in getting food are well respected. Then, colonisation meant tribal tensions were crushed, and people were used on plantations and integrated into a new economic and political system. Christianity and western ideals have come forth, with value being placed in well-educated and successful workers, and intermarriage between tribes has lead to losses of languages and direct cultural conflict. Mining took place in one tribal area, meant to benefit all, but the local tribe was doubtful, and resented those on the mainland for allowing the Aussies and Brits to come in and mine. They developed into a revolutionary army, causing conflict in the 1990s, fighting between citizens, youth gangs, riots, looting, returning tribal warfare and huge law and order problems.

The USA and UK have faced increasing nationalisation as a political movement. These are potentially seen in things like the Brexit vote, and election of Trump. Some follow it due to the dilution of their native culture and loss of sovereignty, others due to the low-income and low-level education people in HICs feel as though they have been left out of the benefits of globalisation. While it has the same benefits of protectionism, nationalism can lead to negative impacts, most notably through marginalisation/persecution of ethnic minority groups, ironically emphasising the whole trope and reason for cultural imperialism in the first place.

[shellheadtm-a]

anon | What about Tony/Nat? I love the relationship you’ve built with her!

the great thing about tony and nat is that...overall, there’s not a lot you have to actually build because the canon’s done it for you.  so here’s my spiel:  i encourage anyone, i implore everyone, if you have not dipped your toes in the world of comics, please do so.  please.  you’re gonna love parts, you’re gonna hate parts.  parts are gonna break your heart.  but everything - and i mean everything - the wishful thinking 2012 mcu avengers fandom wanted has literally already happened there.  literally all of it.  okay, spiel over, but i make it because tony and nat have this...entire relationship that contains a little of everything in a way that just...you won’t get otherwise. 

like, let’s be honest here, nat and tony started out with her trying to kill him.  more than once.  he was a target, not a friend.  but look at them now, right, they’ve come such a long, long way.  part of it is nat’s change of heart, her new life, the whole thing.  part of it is tony’s indomitable spirit that got her attention, because it’s true.  tony stark really is invincible.  but he also has this amazing, unique ability to look at someone, see the worst they’ve done, compare it to who they are now, and still hand over his faith and trust to them implicitly.  he can see someone - and in nat’s case it’s very true - doing something that confirms the worst in them, and resolutely stand there and say no, they had a reason to do it, a good reason.  it’s bitten him in the ass a few times.  it really never has with nat.

the early days are all wrapped up in post-mccarthyism cold war propaganda, to a degree, so you gotta take that stuff with a grain of salt, but...let’s be real here people.  tony stark is pure of heart, dumb of ass, and will always believe the best in people.  he’ll call himself a pessimist and then throw the weight of his belief behind the dark horse in the race, the underdog.  the one you’d never bet on in your right mind.  nat’s one of those.  and listen...listen...tony...loves nat...so much.  he really does.  i wonder a lot about him coming out of his coma to be told, sure, about all the bad shit that went down, but about nat.  how she died.  (luckily we pretend secret empire was a fever dream on this blog so he doesn’t have to deal with that, too).  like there’s just...something i really can’t explain very well between them that directly comes from being on opposing sides and ending up on the same one, but without the begrudging antagonism that trope usually has.  nat’s soft with tony.  tony’s soft with nat.

to put it in perspective, look.  nat’s disabled tony’s security and climbed on his bed to sit with him until he wakes up, and this isn’t necessarily really treated as being all that unusual.  or shocking.  it’s like a joke between them, like nat regularly just climbs into tony’s room and plops down on his bed and he’s used to waking up like this.  that kind of trust.  and even when she whammies him, still.  that kind of trust, because no...no...nat’s not bad, nat has a reason, nat is doing what she has to do i believe in her.

(he’s never forgiving the lipstick whammy, though, nat, forget it, he’s holding it against you for literally ever, he’s still whining about it canon, deal with it.)

tony’s always so quick to point out hey you don’t have to go this alone, you know, we’re here, we love you, we’re you’re friends, despite...doing the same shit himself but no one ever said tony’s not a hypocrite.  he worries about her, because he knows what kind of shit she gets up to.  it’s as bad as the shit he gets up to when he’s going alone and the world is against him and while they are very, very different people with very different ways of dealing with things?  he’s got some perspective other people might not.  he doesn’t remember it, but he played spy master once.  and nat’s choice in that fight was no doubt pragmaticism than picking between two friends, she does remember that.  she also probably remembers how tony damn near drove himself into the ground with it, because i am 1000% sure she was the majority contact between tony and bucky at the time, considering bucky had declared he was doing shit his own way, which meant, on the surface, tony couldn’t be see publically supporting him.  that was a lot of fun and games, let me tell you (and by fun and games i mean everything was horrible).

and hey, it’s not like nat and tony haven’t canonically been at least friends with benefits.  whether it went deeper than two friends who love each other a lot having a bonus physical intimacy and not a full blown relationship is up to your interpretation, but that happened.  tony was comfortable with that, they had a thing.  and obviously it’s fine because it really hasn’t effected anything between them, you know?  like even today, this minute, this very moment, tony can see natasha in a situation that, to him, points the job, and he won’t do anything, won’t draw any attention to it, except ask her where she needs him, what she needs from him, what he needs to do.  no questions.  no prying.  just unfailing support, that...metaphorically taking her hand and giving a squeeze because he’s there for her, he’s got her back, no matter what.

and since i just reread name of the rose the other day, this is a good example of just...where tony stands with nat.  this guy really thought he was gonna turn them against nat.  really thought he was gonna shame bucky, clint, and tony about all having known nat intimately in some fashion.  and these three assholes...they close ranks around her.  put up a shield around her.  are very much an active part - along with logan, who taught her - in doing what they can to help her, this badass lady who goes through surgery with no anesthesia, while they’re really helpless to help there.  someone they’ve all loved in their own ways.  like, fucker, please, you could never turn tony stark against nat.  ever.  who the fuck do you think you are.

(this is also another old guard of the avengers thing when i say that - there’s a closeness from being so close to the start that just...has bound a very exceptional, very unique group of people together for what’s going to be the rest of their lives.  it’s special.  it’s sacred, kind of, in a way.)

endless wartime was...mostly a shit comic, but it had some nice touches on the tony/nat relationship, too (also nat and clint but i digress).  her joking that tony talking to bruce meant they were all going to die.  and then getting on his ass when his suit gets taken out (after being shot) when he says he can’t stand because he’s an avenger, isn’t he?  to be the one to walk him off the quinjet because he’d been hit, he’d been hurt.  like...nat and tony have been, in some way or another, nearly everything to each other.

tony and nat are...they’re just different, sure, but they’re people that have pasts rooted in war and the machinery of war and have found themselves out the other side.  it’s a unique co-fraternity to belong to.  and i can promise you tony loves nat with his whole ass heart, would do literally anything she asked, no questions asked, no blinking, because he trusts her implicitly.  their intimacy isn’t really like...i think other kinds of relationships might have, it’s having a shared part of the past and becoming better people, better heroes, and finding each other and others that give them things they had been missing, or missing for a long time, like a real family again.

INSERT TONY SHIP GET THOUGHTS | ACCEPTING

[sailor-cresselia]

The Great Ex-Aid Rewatch: Ex-Aid & Ghost, Part Two

Okay, back to it for part two of who-know-how-many of my Dr. Pac-Man liveblog!

Time for more gamers, doctors, ghosts, and terrible examples of science that people should in no way, shape, or form try to emulate!

––– –––

When last we saw our doctor heroes, they were escaping from Dr. Pac-Man with the victim-of-the-week, and the Ghost team was coming to their aid, leaving Shinnosuke back at the precinct.

We pick back up with Emu, Asuna, and Tougo running, but being blocked from one direction by Doral and Giril, and a still very glitchy Dr. Pac-Man on the other.

Turns out, the Pac-viruses aren’t technically bugsters at all – they’re just… er. Viruses, I guess, that Dr. Pac-Man used to set up a virus detection program. Specifically, to track the Bugster Virus, so that he could hunt down Tougo, who’s a carrier of a new strain.

Wait, so, the fevers that are hitting the people throughout the city aren’t the game disease, then? Or are there more forms to it than the bugster virus? …I may have to go into this in my fics at some point, but not now.

But anyway, it’s a new strain, one that comes from Hatesate Puzzle, so naturally the GenmCorp systems wouldn’t have any information on it – it’s not one of their products, so there’s no reason to expect it to spawn a bugster of it’s own.

Takeru, Akari, and Onari show up, with Takeru accusing Dr. Pac-Man of being Zaizen Michihiko. Fortunately for all of us, he is, and admits such as soon as Takeru brings it up. This means I no longer have to type ‘Dr. Pac-Man’ nearly as often, and we don’t have to deal with his squeaky voice changer anymore.

That thing was obnoxious.

Zaizen, who should have died six years ago, has managed – somehow – to revive as a Bugster. Which, as we know now, is foreshadowing for what happens down the line in-show. (Actually, this might be where Kuroto got that particular plan from in the first place.) He’s come back to finish his plans from back then.

He and his ‘team’ were working on a ‘genome project’, to create a new life form via operating on a patient infected with the game disease. A project to create a bugster.

But things went wrong.

Something happened, and we see the ‘patient’ – his face tactfully hidden by scenery the entire time – bucking on the table, the four ‘doctors’ drawing back in surprise. As a swarm of orange lights emerges from him and form into the shape of a person, lines of light form a game area around the room, while the four ‘doctors’ are dissolved into fragments of data.

And now? Now they’re back from being banished to the shadow realm game world, and ready to fulfill their ‘master plan.’

Emu – sweet, blissfully unaware, ten-episodes-in Emu – says that he may not know anything about this so-called master plan, but to use Pac-Man for this, to endanger all of these people… how can they call themselves doctors?! Doctors are supposed to help people!

Zaizen declares that anyone who stands against him must die, and Hatena – the latest Bugster – summons a massive number of enormous falling blocks. That would be bad enough, since said blocks are approximately person sized, and could easily crush someone.

Except that Hatesate Puzzle is a match three puzzle game. When three blocks of the same color line up? They explode.

Makoto and Alain show up from… somewhere, just in time to see Takeru make a dive to cover Akari with his body to protect her from another wave of blocks.

They are both caught up in the explosions. When the smoke clears, Takeru manages to wake Akari up, barely.

They both start to turn transparent, bursts of static crackling across them, at which point Akari passes back out.

Takeru, having had some very traumatic experiences with being transparent, makes the very natural assumption that they’ve both just died.

Fortunately, Emu is there, and able to yell that no, no, you’re not dead, that’s the bugster virus, please calm down!

Well, they’re not dead yet, according to Hatena, who says that unless someone manages to defeat him in the next 24 hours, they’re done for. This, naturally, pisses Makoto and Alain the hell off, and they go on the offensive.

I love civilian outfit fights, because you can get more of a sense of how the characters really move. I hold to the theory that putting on Rider armor, in any series, enhances the wearers usual abilities, so while you can see how they fight, you can get a far more accurate idea of it when they fight out of suit.

Against Giril, for all that the first part of the fight is more of a dance between her, Makoto, and Alain, you can tell that they’re skilled at this – that they’ve been through battles. They do eventually wind up getting hit – her fighting style is very different from the ones they’re used to facing, and Alain in particular takes some nasty palm strikes and kicks to the chest, but they’re still putting up a good show. (Especially for a pair who lost the majority of their effectiveness in battle once they joined up with Takeru, but that’s a complaint for a whole different season.)

On the other hand, Emu’s fight against Doral can barely be called a fight. He’s getting beaten, badly. Doral barely has to move to dodge Emu’s punches, and when they do connect, he doesn’t even flinch, moving with the punch to soften what little damage there would be.

Emu takes numerous blows to the torso, and I’m pretty sure at one point he just barely avoided a groin shot. He does manage a sweet flip and a roll, but it looks to have been accidental, given he then very quickly gets thrown several meters through the air.

Compare this to his first fight in-show, when he’d just gotten the belt, and had no idea what he was even getting into. In level one, he didn’t take a single hit from the Bugster Union, and when he fought Salty directly, he got hit maybe two or three times, but no more than that, and they didn’t effect him at all.

Early Emu has no idea what he’s doing in a fight, without actively being Ex-Aid.

Onari and Asuna carry Akari off to the hospital, escaping, while Makoto and Alain manage to literally hold Giril back, telling Takeru to ‘take care’ of Hatena.

Takeru’s punches do nothing, aside from make his knuckles hurt, and make Hatena chuckle. CHUCKLE. Not even LAUGH, just a quiet chuckle.

Emu gets grabbed, and Doral is trying to choke him out,  when freaking Tougo – who is, admittedly, in a bit of a bad way, seeing how he’s rather see-through at the moment – yells at Emu. He’s a doctor, right?! Then why isn’t he saving him?!

You know, never mind that you said it was pointless earlier, or that Emu’s getting his ass kicked and currently is having a bit of trouble breathing, just go ahead and guilt trip him. That’s totally a way to make people like you.

Oh, and then Zaizen tells this asshole that nobody can save him, and pulls Tougo into a bugvisor. Because that totally makes sense.

All four riders present – Emu, Takeru, Alain, and Makoto – get hurled down by their respective opponents, Emu internally apologizing to Tougo. Doral advances on Emu…

And is met with a spin-kick to the face.

Kiriya, Hiiro, and Taiga have arrived. Here’s their basic reactions to the scene:

Kiriya: More research data! Yes! (Also, time to save the Ace, because he’s the only person in this show who has even remotely tried to be a decent person, and was the only one who bothered trying to trust me.)

Taiga: Okay, shows over, freaks. (Why do people keep using Protogashats?! Are they all just stupid?!)

Hiiro: You look pathetic, intern. Also, here’s the new Legend Rider Gashat, the CEO wanted you to have it, for some reason.

Doral’s all ‘oh, so you want to fight, do you?’, and he and Giril pull out their gashats. Kiriya gives a sarcastic whistle, before Makoto and Alain shove their way in front, saying that this is their fight. I mean, it’s not, technically, but I get their reasoning. Also, Makoto literally shoved Hiiro to the side, and Hiiro takes a moment to come back to facing front, looking incredibly offended. Kiriya tries to point out to them that they’re already pretty beat up, and maybe they should take a back seat for a bit, but let if never be said that Makoto and Alain are anything but stubborn.

Giril takes off one way, Makoto and Hiiro in pursuit, while Doral goes the other, with Alain, Taiga, and Kiriya chasing after. Emu is still on the floor, slightly dazed, and presumably very confused.

–––

Hiiro and Makoto Vs Giril.

Makoto’s fighting style here is very… I dunno, like he’s a brawler? I guess? It’s not really refined, there’s a sort of brutality there. He uses the mooks momentum a lot, at one point pulling one of those ‘roll with the grab and use it to do a spin kick while on the mooks back’ tricks.

Hiiro, meanwhile, is quick and efficient, focusing on disabling mooks by going for the torso. Once again, he’s weaponizing CPR, just like when he originally used Doremifa Beat. At one point, he actually just flat out does a chop to the back of one mooks neck, which I find hilarious coming from Hiiro, of all people.

Eventually, Giril transforms, and Makoto hastily follows suit. Heh, suit. Because they’re transforming heroes. Hiiro, who saw full well that Specter isn’t exactly in prime condition, tries to tell him to wait, and heads into level two to join the fight.

–––

Taiga, Kiriya, and Alain vs Doral.

Taiga and Alain’s fight styles aren’t too different, outside of suit. They both favor quick blows that are still slightly showy. The main difference is that Alain’s more willing to rely on both his arms and legs for attacks, while Taiga’s more likely to dodge attacks. Kiriya… may as well be street dancing. Like, there’s a lot of streetdance type moves going on there.

…Dark Toei, give me the forbidden streetdancer Kiriya lore.

Eventually, Alain starts getting into a slightly more berserker style, Kiriya is getting somehow even flashier, and Taiga…

Taiga stole the sword off of one of the mooks.

…SWEET.

Doral transforms, and Alain angrily follows… and immediately starts doing worse. Seriously, the Necrom suit is a definite hindrance for Alain. He was great when he was in civilian attire – because he could move. Loose fitting clothes are far better suited for his personal style than the tight, controlled movements he has to use as Necrom. I mean, he really shouldn’t keep the scarf on in battle, but it doesn’t seem to slow him down, so I guess it’s okay.

Taiga looks a little disappointed that Alain just rushed in there like that, and once again it’s Kiriya who says that he’s getting ahead of himself.

The two of them transform, and Taiga visibly enters level two, doing a sweet flip over a fire projectile before getting into the battle. Kiriya says he’s leveling up, but we don’t actually see it, or him.

–––

Takeru vs Hatena.

This fight is not going nearly so well as the others. Takeru is getting shoved around like a ragdoll by Hatena and his staff, but still struggling back up, despite the copious pain he’s in, because he’s going to save Akari, dangit!

Emu’s still down on the floor, just barely getting around to picking himself back up in order to stop Takeru from advancing.

Zaizen says that all these struggles are useless. Without Ghost’s power, they can’t possibly beat Pac-Man, and he’s going to make them fear just how powerless they are!

He then proceeds to fire his bugvisor into the air, a massive swarm of Pac-viruses emerging from it… and then they all form into a GIANT PAC-MAN. The version with arms and legs, no less, before it pulls those into itself and becomes the more classic Orb Pac-Man.

Then it sort of… shudders, and glows a bit red, and oh look, everyone, Pac-Man’s got a mouth of fangs now!

Wisely, Takeru and Emu realize that being faced with a two-or-three story Pac-Man, who is clearly intent on eating them, is the point where they should be running away.

–––

Pac-Man chases them outside. They manage to avoid his barreling into them, but also he takes a bite out of a building, so there’s that. They’ve both fallen from their dodge.

Takeru pushes himself back to his feet, struggling to walk forward to fight.

Emu tries to hold him back, because it’s too dangerous, he’s too hurt, if he tries to fight like this, he could die-

Takeru shoves him off, saying it doesn’t matter if he can still transform or not. Yes, he doesn’t want to die, but if he can save Akari, then that is far more important. He’s going to do this. He has to do this!

Ghost’s powers are intimately linked to Takeru’s emotional state. They always have been, as far back as his first episode. His resolve summons the Ore Eyecon back to him from Dan Kuroto’s desk (because of course he didn’t give that to Hiiro to bring back), and the Ghost Driver reappears around Takeru’s waist.

(The, uh, the handle on that thing’s looking a little worse for wear. You guys couldn’t have, I dunno, wiped it down or something? Given it a little touch up?)

“HENSHIN!”

:cue fangirl grin:

Takeru gets to fly again! In base form, no less! …You know, outside of the first episode, and his guest previews in Drive, I don’t think Takeru actually got to use his levitation in his base mode more than maybe once or twice until after his season. I’m pretty sure he didn’t even get to do it in his own movies, outside of the finishing blow to the giant Ganma from the Ghost & Drive film. I don’t recall him levitating at all during Ichighost. If he used that power outside of the final battle in 100 Eyecons, I don’t remember it, and I know that time it was in Infinite.

Basically, I’m in the ‘Let Takeru Use His Powers’ camp. Also, I’m thinking that this might be where he basically… re-unlocked that for his base form? I dunno, just a thought that I might use in ReUnited, might not. Hard to say.

Anyway, Ghost! He’s flying around, kicking Angry Emoji Pac-Man while dodging storms of Pac-Viruses. Emu, in the meantime, is having a slight crisis of personal faith. He’s been getting his ass handed to him all day, even more so than usual, with people berating him left and right for not being good enough at his job – as a doctor or as a Kamen Rider.

Screaming to the sky, he somehow finds his resolve. Pulling out the Kaigan Ghost gashat, a breeze blows his hair back, and he transforms.

…Okay, yes, it’s a level ONE form right now, but he still gets to fight in-air with Takeru, both of them with that cool orange glow effect, so it’s worth it!

–––

At the Next Genome Hideout, Zaizen and Hatena arrive just in time for… Uh. What was his name again?  Ah, there we go. Kuruse Soji, also known as the Robol Bugster. For consistencies sake with the rest of his group, I will be referring to him as Robol from here on.

So, those two arrive just in time for Robol to finish the… I don’t even know what it is, some sort of genome re-mapping design.

Hatena is the one to ask Zaizen “Hey, are you sure about this whole ‘using yourself as a lab rat’ thing? You’re putting your life on the line, here.”

But nope, Zaizen’s determined to carry out his plan, and he’s fully intent on becoming a life form ‘to surpass creation.’

Hatena’s response is basically a silent “Well, okay then, it’s your funeral,” before raising his reality-warping staff up, and starting what is basically a reprogramming process on Zaizen.

Additionally, Zaizen seems to very quickly have at least a few regrets with regards to his haste, or at least didn’t think Hatena was going to just go ahead and start immediately. Having ones genetic structure re-written is not exactly painless.

The thing is… I don’t know what Zaizen doing this to himself would prove for any sort of proof of concept. We find out later on that his plan is to do this all over, and yeah, most people won’t survive, but the ones who do will be stronger for it. Which is all standard mad scientist stuff. However, he’s already a Bugster. He’s said as much, so his base makeup isn’t the same anymore. He has no way to prove this will actually work on a normal human! I mean, yeah, he’s trying it on Tougo simultaneously, albeit a little differently, but Tougo’s infected with the bugster virus already, so there’s good odds that the alterations are working with that more than anything else.

Basically, Zaizen, you’re a terrible excuse for a doctor and a scientist, and you should be ashamed of yourself for so many different reasons.

–––

Back at the Giril fight, Makoto uses all three of his regular Legend Eyecons to try and take her down, and even at one point using Houdini’s chains as whips! It gets to a point where we have Specter with Nobunaga preparing a finisher, and Giril sending energy slashes at him, only for Brave to use the ice mode of his sword to freeze the attacks in place so that Makoto can shoot through them.

Seriously, Hiiro, why can’t you use tactics this cleverly more often in show? It’d have gone a long way toward making me like at least watching you fight, even though it wouldn’t do anything for you as a character. The only times I can think of that were anything like this were the few occasions you used the sword to make an ice path to hold enemies still, your first time using Doremifa beat, and the way you got Taddle Fantasy by basically emulating some of Emu’s tactics, in using the energy items to your advantage.

But I digress. The two Riders switch into Deep Specter and Doremifa Beat to try and finish the fight.

–––

Brief cut to the Doral fight, where everyone is still in base forms, until Necrom gets knocked down and swaps into Grimm. I am reminded of why I would vastly prefer him to be using an eyecon at all times, because the helmet for Necrom is AWFUL without a cover.

Lazer and Snipe are still in level one and two respectively.

–––

Back to Giril.

Everyone launches finishers, starting with Specter, who doesn’t have much effect, but knocks her back a bit. Brave and Giril launch simultaneous ones, which create a huge chain reaction explosion that results in all three participants getting kicked out of their transformations.

Giril is still okay enough to run away.

Hiiro and Makoto are struggling on the ground. Makoto tries to get up to give chase, but collapses. Hiiro, in not much better state, tries to wake him.

–––

Back to Doral.

Necrom is using Sanzo for a bit, before getting dropped back down to normal. Okay, so, I may hate the transitional phase of Necrom, but it’s not fair to Alain for him to go the whole series without an upgrade. It’s even less fair for him to finally get one after the show… in the Specter V-Cinema. At which point he gets his ass kicked. By Specter. To make matters even more devastating? The single upgrade Alain gets is called Yujou Burst. FRIENDSHIP BURST. It’s ugly as all get out, and he only uses it in a single scene, in which, as mentioned earlier, he gets his ass kicked by Makoto. And you can’t even really see it in that scene, because it was so dark, which was not helped by Yujou Burst being black and gold.

ALAIN DESERVED BETTER, IS ALL I’M SAYING.

Okay, okay, lost potential complaints aside, the fight scene. Lazer and Snipe both enter level three, and I’m fairly certain Kiriya curses the day he blackmailed his way into getting a Driver, because he still has to go through the bike form anyway to get to higher levels.

Necrom and Lazer launch their finishers – Necrom with an energy punch projectile, and Lazer with that gloriously massive rain of arrows. This is followed by Snipe’s finisher, which involves a jetpack and LOTS OF BULLETS.

Man, if Jet Combat weren’t so hideous, I’d probably love it.

Doral gets knocked out of his transformation, and runs off. Necrom and Lazer drop theirs willingly, at which point Alain apologizes to Takeru, and drops to the ground, out cold.

Taiga lands. Specifically, TAIGA lands, dropping his transformation MID DESCENT and landing in a three point touchdown. He sneers, saying that Alain’s an idiot who over did it.

Well, at least the three of you came out of your transformations on your own, unlike the actual secondaries of the two seasons, who both got knocked down.

I mean, I really didn’t expect to find more evidence that Hiiro’s not nearly as good at this Rider thing as he thinks he is, but it sure looks like I did!

–––

Okay, over at the FIRST main fight, with Ex-Aid and Ghost versus a literally two story tall Pac-Man, two lads in black and orange land.

Ghost pulls out the Ex-Aid Eyecon, and we get an incredibly chaotic shot of Takeru entering Ex-Aid Damashi, and Ex-Aid leveling up his Ghost form.

Hnnnn I don’t like either of these legend rider forms. I think it’s in the eyes. Takeru winds up with Ex-Aid’s eyes on his faceplate, which makes sense, because that’s what his Legend Rider forms do. He gets their helmet’s appearance on his. It’s just weird with Ex-Aid’s eyes, is all. I’ll give credit to the jacket for being way better than his one for Drive, though.

The Ex-Aid Legend Rider forms, though… are so incredibly cursed. His chestplate takes on the appearance of whatever’s there on the OG rider, which. Okay, fair. I went to go look at his form for Drive, and the tire just Does Not Translate well to 2d. But the real problem is the helmet.

See, I’m okay with the helmets in Ex-Aid. I don’t care about the anime eye aesthetic, I’m all for it, because they manage to make something this ridiculous look good. Right up until that’s not what’s there anymore.

The helmet takes on an appearance similar to a slimmed down version of the legend rider, which I would be fine with… if it didn’t keep the frames from around Ex-Aid’s eyes. It’s unsettling, and invariably cuts across the eyes of the helmet it’s imitating, which just makes the whole thing uncomfortable.

And, of course, he still has the duplicate faceplate on his back, which makes it really weird when he’s facing away from the camera in the upcoming scenes, because we’re still getting Ghost looking at us. I don’t know why it doesn’t bug me nearly this much with Regular Ex-Aid, but this is really unsettling with a different rider’s helmet.

–––

Okay, okay, sorry, back to the show.

Emu’s gotten Ghost’s ability to levitate, and Takeru’s picked up Ex-Aid’s jumps. So they’re still able to bounce around Pac-Man, but they aren’t both flying anymore.

And then he eats them.

Like, I’m not even kidding, Pac-Man opens his mouth, they get pulled in, and WHOOPS suddenly they’re falling toward a suspiciously familiar maze!

Oh, man, I wish I were better at screencapping, but this goes by too fast for me to catch it. When they land? Takeru has a color-burst effect right out of one of Ex-Aid’s special effects. Nice touch!

Oh, and the walls of the maze, along with the dots, are an appropriate size for a two story tall Pac-Man. So, you know, the lads are a bit dwarfed by the scenery.

If you look carefully, you can see that when Pac-Man’s chasing them through the maze, the dots he passes by aren’t there anymore! He’s still actually playing by his own rules! … right up until they jump out of his way when they’re backed against a wall, and he just plows on through.

(Pac-Man, noooo! You can’t do that! That’s illegal!)

So they just start trying to slash at Pac-Man amid the rubble from the wall he just broke through – and then he starts shooting out beams of light every which way?

I don’t remember that being part of the game…

While they’re jumping and dodging, Emu’s still got Ghost’s glowing effects, and Takeru still has Ex-Aid’s impact stars, so that’s cool. They do that neat cross slash, where one rider goes horizontally around the Giant Kaijin and the other goes vertically… and it’s still not the finisher.

Emu, sweet, game-loving Emu, tells Pac-Man that it’ll just be a little longer. (Emu, he’s currently trying to KILL YOU. You don’t even know if the Regular Pac-Man is IN THERE, for all you know this is just an evil duplicate!)

So, actual finisher time.

Interestingly, the visual flairs when Emu puts the Kaigan Ghost gashat into his finisher slot and pushes the button are all orange. Nice touch. Even nicer is the touches on the emblem that appears behind Takeru when he does his finishers. Usually it’s a glowing orange, or rainbow, in the case of Infinite. But this time it’s pixellated and pink.

(please ignore the awful neon blue lines in the background, those are part of the maze.)

I’d say that “lasers don’t chase people like that” and “jumping doesn’t let you curve in mid-air”, but I don’t think the laws of physics actually apply to these two in most battle circumstances. Also, they’re about to kick Pac-Man in the face because that’s just what we’re doing today, I guess!

They land back out in the real world, where Pac-Man slowly changes back to normal.

(THE BACKS OF THESE SUITS ARE SO CURSED)

Pac-Man dissolves into the air.

Takeru, sweet precious cinnamon roll that he is, is still only thinking of saving Akari.

“I have… to save Akari…”

He falls to the ground, out cold.

–––

Asuna and Onari make it to the hospital, with him carrying the unconicious Akari, to see specks of yellow light streaming down to the infected patients.

Asuna thanks Pac-Man for curing those who were hit by his strain of the Game Disease.

–––

On a nearby rooftop, music from 2012 plays as a man with rings steps into view.

––– –––

Well, that seems like as good a place as any to cut off, narratively speaking! I’m about halfway through the movie at this point, so this should only take one or two more installments to finish.

I have work the next three nights, so I’m not going to be able to pick this back up until Saturday, at the earliest. It sucks, because I really, really wanted to watch this movie again, preferably a lot faster than this whole “three to four hours to get twenty five minutes” deal, but I guess that’s just how I’m watching Ex-Aid, now!

(Disclaimer before anyone gets on my case: Yes, I switched order of those last two segments. Partly it’s to have a better liveblog ending, and partly because that’s the order they should have been in, dang it! It flows way better to have the Pac-Man Fever subplot end before Haruto first shows up, instead of awkwardly inserting him between the last two related scenes.)

[writing-with-chaos]

Another moodboard for y’all!

This time it’s for my main WIP, the love of my life, my beautiful kids, Cynical Chaos! It’s a YA novel I’ve been writing since I was in middle school/high school. On most WIP Sundays, unless I’m feeling a little burnt out, this is what I’ll be talking about! ^_^

Cynical Chaos follows fifteen-year-old Ariana Salem and her group of rebel friends, The Unseen, a year after they’ve declared war against the corrupt government organization, Panacea. The novel takes place in 2005, in an alternate timeline where an alien race called Chaos Powers attempted to destroy the world. Panacea was created in order to defeat them, but have turned corrupt since their victory, conducting human experiments and other terrors under the guise of Earth’s protection. When Ariana and her friends are discovered as human hosts to the surviving Chaos Powers, and one of their own is taken by Panacea, the kids are forced to fight for their lives and their freedom in a world that has deemed them too dangerous to exist. Ariana is left deeply damaged from the stress of war, and throughout the novel, has to come to a decision about the fate of their cause: will she continue to demand their right to freedom, or will she submit to the pressures around her before she loses anyone else, including herself?

Cynical Chaos is where I first played with the idea of “empowerment through negative traits” that follows most of my writing today. We're all familiar with the Christopher Volger quote, “Every villain is a hero in their own story”. When I first started writing about these characters, I decided to take that quote a step further and actually make protags that would otherwise be depicted as the villains in any other story. I found myself identifying more with villains as a teen—and even as adult—because typically those are the ones who are depicted as disabled coded, racially coded, or simply unwilling to yield to their oppressors. Normally, in social justice circles, we’re told to push back against those stereotypes, but I decided that it was much more empowering for me to embrace the darkness in myself and the “less desirable” traits, instead of trying so hard to be a “good example” or whatever fighting against stereotypes is supposed to prove. I created characters like Ariana, who were unapologetically angry, and violent, and spiteful, that would hear “You acting that way will only justify that they should be afraid of you!” and respond with, “Yes, because they should be”.

TL;DR: If you prefer wholesome stories where the protags make friends with, or wrestle with the morality of fighting their oppressors, this will not be the story for you.

I’ll be posting more about CC and the cast of characters soon! If this sounds like something you’d be interested in, please feel free to ask me about it! I live to talk about these wild children of mine ^_^