#they're accounts that only ever like posts & don't have any reblogs so I wonder if tumblr like... disapproves??

[kowabungadoodles]

How to spot a (heart wrenching sad cat) Charity Scam

So I've been get a lot of requests for money in my askbox lately, from users I have never seen before! Usually sad cats, sometimes gender affirming medical bills, a queer person being made homeless etc etc... and guess what? None of them are real! It's scammers who have learned how to work tumblr's userbase and prey on our general sense of community and charity.

Here it is, so sad! So tragic! But let's note a few things:

It's generic. They don't know me, I don't know them. it's addressed to 'friend', no use of nicknames or usernames.

Even the cat and the problem are generic 'little kitty' who has 'urgent needs'. This is not how real people talk, this is because this scam is being used over and over with different accounts a different 'cats'.

Praying (uh huh.)

Asking you to reply privately- This is so people don't spot the scam and point it out the mark and because if too many people posted replies to the same message it would beome really obvious that this is a scam. If they're looking for 'boosts' so badly, then why do they need you to reply privately?

Now that I'm suspicious, let's investigate.

Sent me an ask and then followed me! Sounds like they're just hitting up anyone and everyone, but even more likely they have a list they're working from.

(I get so many, I'm probably on a mail-out list a mile long, just being hit up for cash. Likely I fell for one of these once and got my name added to every scam list for miles, but oh well.)

So let's see if they're a bot or a real person!

The blog looks genuine enough, they've got a bio, a fandom etc. And it says they're an artist!

And of course there's that sad cat post, pinned right to the top, so I don't have to look any further through the blog for verification... Looks super legit, pics of the cat, pics of the bill... of course anyone can print out a bill and take a picture of it...

As I do scroll futher, it's full of reblogs making this look like an active user. So how can I tell it's not genuine?

Well, if they're an artist they probably post right? Doodles? Pictures? Let's have a look at their origional posts.

The fastest way to do this is by using an outside tool like Original Post Finder.

just type in the suspicious username and go...

Voila! As suspected, the only post this bot account has ever made is Sad Cat Post.

Confirmed: Scam. Do not give your money to these guys, it looks so real but they're just here to make you feel like a bad person for not handing over everything you can. Charity is wonderful, supporting friends is wonderful, but tbh save it for people you actually know irl/ mutuals you have an actual relationship with. Don't believe any rando who comes knocking!

Love and kisses, stay safe out there.

[sexisdisgusting]

Hello I'm Lenka Stojanovic, welcome to my blog

i'm a balkan ex-muslim lesbian woman in my 20s and a big scary radfem. if that threatens you, block me. my blog is crypto safe (if you're crypto, follow only if you want—your safety is my priority).

this is mainly a radfem blog, but i also post funnies and things i find pretty/cool. if you're wondering why i followed you and you're not a radfem blog, that's why.

i LOVE being spammed with reblogs and likes, so please don't feel afraid to do so!!

i identified as "trans/nonbinary" for years before reclaiming my womanhood, and i'm so happy i did (it's never too late). there's no "right" or "wrong" way to be a woman. i was a huge trans activist for years before realizing it doesn't and will never benefit me despite their lies. i don't argue with tras—go kick rocks and debate with the mirror, loser.

i post free pdfs, resources, graphics, and everything else of the sort on this blog. feel free to explore and read—it's not illegal despite what you've been made to think (#useful).

any designs i create and post on this blog are entirely free for personal and commercial use. i don't want or require credit—do whatever your heart desires with them (create pins, t-shirts, print them out, sell them, anything!! idc!) (#my designs).

though i do have some hashtags i regularly use to keep things somewhat organized, in general, i don't use tags a lot, if ever.

my blog is open to any and all women, even the trans-identified ones. you are all welcome here and i love you (in other terms, my blog is open to all "afabs," even "transmen" and those who are "nonbinary"). if you're on the fence or reconsidering things, you're safe here, i promise.

also, i don't live in america, so my perspective might be different from what you're used to.

it sometimes takes me a while to reply (i.e. days, weeks...) to my messages because my life can get busy at times, but rest assured i will get back to you, and love chatting!! (i sometimes also just come on here to feverishly reblog but don't have the energy to converse, i hope you understand). i don't always reply to every reply on my posts because sometimes there's nothing else left to say! you've summed it up perfectly! but i LOVE reading all replies!!!

my messages are only on for mutuals, and asks are completely off. sometimes i'll turn on asks for an hour or two before turning them back off. on that note, any of my beloved regular anonitas i had, i implore thee to make side accounts so we can chat because i really miss you all, though my asks aren't coming back full time any time soon.

there are more trans activists/trans people turned radfems than there are radfems turned trans activists/trans people—think about why that is.

you're not the only one who thinks these thoughts, i promise you there are SO many women who think the same as you. you just haven't found them yet, or they're in hiding.

i love you! mua!! xx

i also have a sideblog in case things go awry (i get banned for being too wild) and that side blog is: sexisforeverdisgusting

[starheirxero]

TSAMS AUs and Designs masterpost

My Lord Eclipse AU, aka "Centiclipse" and "Sunvant"

This AU is, at its core, entirely self-indulgent. I like a character that is scary and tall and has a lot of arms and could kill me. So, naturally, I made Lord Eclipse a little freak and put him into a, like, 50-100 ft long centipede body.

There's no exact story line either, I have a very loose set-up and it can go in any direction at any time as long as I feel like it'd be cool! The only thing I can say for sure is that there is a slow, multi-year long process of Eclipse being loved by all his followers to Eclipse becoming such a shut-in that people doubt if he's even still alive.

You can find the post that started it all here, and everything related to Centiclipse here and everything related to Sunvant here!

It Runs Deeper, aka "no one dies and everyone gets better" AU

OKAY SO LIKE. I don't wanna say too much because this AU does, in fact, have a set story and HOPEFULLY will become a full fanfic someday, but the biggest detail rn is that the canon MOSTLY derails after Eclipse gets the star for the first time. There's changes before that too, since no one dies, but thats where it REALLY changes.

What I will ideally achieve with this story is that I splay every character's heart and soul and brain on the ground for everyone to see and they all have to confront hard and painful truths about themselves and the people around them. Whether they like it or not.

They are my beloveds and I think about them forever <3

Evil Lumini AU

Does this count? I want it to count. Evil Lunar AU except the astral bodies are accounted for and this leads to Lunara and Gemini having constant gayass fights because unfortunately that's the kinda dynamic I love.

The first post me and my mutual made where we tossed around ideas for it is here and pretty much everything else related to it is probably going to be under #evil lunar x gemini. They're fucked up and its wonderful to me ok?

Misc

My Eclipse in a time loop AU that you will only ever hear me talk about in passing through blorbocore reblogs and this post because my mutual asked me.

My silly little Lord Lunar design that is just extremely blatantly Ranni from Elden Ring's outfit slapped onto a different blorbo.

Plus, this old Lord Lunar + Servant Eclipse design I used for a silly Centiclipse shitpost.

And thats all for now I think. good day o7

[markantonys]

Do yall still see spoiler jokes in the tags if the person tags it book spoilers?

that's a great question, and the answer is YES. disclaimer that i'm a tumblr elder who still uses the tumblr savior chrome extension rather than tumblr's built-in tag filtering system (i was so used to only having filtering options on desktop and not mobile for so many years that i've just trained myself to only ever browse on desktop and to use mobile solely for checking my notifications lmao), so i'm not 100% sure everything i'm about to say applies to the built-in system, but after reading through the info page on the built-in system i think it works in about the same way.

in total, there are 4 places where tags can be seen:

the original post on your dashboard/on OP's blog/in the relevant tags you're searching or browsing. OP's post tags are visible here.

a reblog of an original post on your dashboard/on the reblogger's blog. the specific reblogger's tags are visible here.

in the notes of your own or someone else's post, when you see a post and click to show all notes. all rebloggers' tags & comments are visible here (provided that you haven't blocked or been blocked by any of them)

in your notifications, when you get a notification that somebody reblogged your post and here are all the tags they put on it. all rebloggers' tags & comments are visible here.

of these 4 places, blacklisting a tag ONLY safeguards against the first two. if i have the book spoiler tag blacklisted, that will prevent me from seeing an original post or a reblogged post that contains that tag.

it WILL NOT prevent me from seeing a post that does not contain that tag, opening it up, and reading all the notes on the post. reblog tags that contain the blacklisted tag will still be visible to me if i'm accessing them via opening up the notes on a post. however, this would be something i'm doing deliberately and so it's only me who's accountable for any spoilers i might see, not the people putting spoilers in their reblog tags. (and as some of you can attest, 85% of the WOT spoilers i encountered were ones i deliberately sought out and then got mad about seeing djkfgj i only have myself to blame for those scenarios!)

so the key issue is category #4. if i make a post, i will get notifications for EVERY SINGLE REBLOG TAG, COMMENT, AND REPLY that is EVER made on that post. likewise, if i've reblogged a post that someone else made, both i and the OP will get notifications for every single reblog tag, comment, and reply that is made to my reblogged version of the post. nothing is filtered out. if i make a post saying "i'm a show-only and i don't know what's to come in the series" and you reblog it going "#oh they're gonna die when [massive spoiler] happens #wot book spoilers" i will see 100% of those words in my notifications, even though you've added the book spoiler tag and i have that blacklisted. tag blacklisting does not work for notifications.

this is why i always say, if you do not know for a fact that the OP of a wot-related post AND the person you're reblogging it from BOTH have full book spoiler knowledge, then do not put any book spoilers in your tags (even vague ones) when you're reblogging their post because they WILL see it, no matter how good a blacklisting system they have.

and it's especially egregious with gifsets! if somebody's made a text post then oftentimes it can be fairly clear from what they're saying if they're a show-only or a reader and so most rebloggers will consciously go "oh, seems like this person doesn't know X yet, i'll keep quiet". but for gifsets of the show, people will just reblog them putting full-on late series book spoilers in the tags with no thought for whether the gifmaker OP might be a show-only, because they're too excited thinking about how this scene in s2 will relate to something in book 12 to spare a thought for wondering if the real human person who created the gifset will be okay with seeing them discussing all those spoilers in the tags. i was spoiled that the man rand fought at the eye was not the dark one within 1 hour of watching 1x08 because everybody was reblogging my gifset and talking about ishamael & the forsaken in the tags lmao and there were definitely some other examples from my show-only-s1-giffing days too.

thus, When In Doubt, Be Silent! or make a separate post saying "guys i just saw this other post [link/screenshot making sure to include op's name for credit] and here are my book spoilery thoughts on it". but, of course, if you are confident in going "hey i recognize this blog and i know they've read the books" then no harm in letting spoilers fly in reblogging the original post!

[opinated-user]

so this anon, that is either sparky himself or LO, is flat out lying. sparky never had a following in our communities. nobody outside of the critical blog even knew about him, he didn't have a blog sharing posts about LO like we do. and we only knew about him because he would send us screenshots about whatever post LO was doing and then make weird question about how "what do you think LO could do to redeem herself as a person", "do you think LO is really that bad of a person" in DMs. in handsight, i believe that he was asking those questions because he projected onto LO as some sort of proxy for himself. if LO could ge forgiven, then maybe he could be forgiven since they're accused of the same things (grooming and preying on minors). as far i know, and someone please correct me if wrong, nobody had any kind of close relationship with anyone. neither as follower, friends or anything. when we did find out who he was and what he did, resulting in all of us immediately blocking at the account that he had at the time, nobody came forward to even lament that they were tricked by him. i never heard a word from anyone who lamented to find out who he was. nobody but Morals, that like me was receiving those screenshots and weird question about LO. so that "platform him" is a lie. he didn't had a platform with followers and supporters. he never did.

mmm, interesting how LO is interpretating "contacting you" as receiving a message on her business email. as if she isn't being contacted by anon right now in an ask or by gygas in a reblog or could be reached by anyone leaving a comment on her channel. but now, suddenly, only her business email is the only way to contact her and anything outside of that, it's not contact, i guess? for the record, nobody said business email. when i say that LO let a known predator be around her community, i very specifically mean this: https://www.tumblr.com/opinated-user/727673616429432832/lo-heres-your-chance-one-of-the-extremely-rare?source=share if you go to that link you'll see screenshot of LO not only platforming sparky in one of his thousands throwaway accounts simply because it supported her narrative (something she had done before for a real life nazi), you'll also see him talking directly to underage fans of LO. i, with the other blogs, spend days begging LO to dennounce sparky on that new account to keep her audience safe from him. here, this is the post i made on the third day of us doing that. nothing happened. LO never shared a call out post. never said anything. never aknowledged that was a thing. we know that she reads our blogs. she still said nothing.

gygas is confusing her timeline there. sparky is capable of be sending racial slurs. he did it before to all of us. MO, if you ever wondered who could have send you all those asks with a graphical description of necrophiliac CSA, it was probably sparky. we received those too. sparky does that when he's hungry for attention. but we didn't know that was the kind of thing he did until after we had already dennounced him and blocked him. like i said above, before we find out who he even was, he only send weird hypotheticals about LO and screenshots talking about LO in our DMs. i never had any kind of personal conversation with him and i don't think any of the other blogs did either. so that "being okay with him being a racist person" is another lie.

you never had any kind of sexual experience with Brittany, LO. you were so desperate for it that you made up a catfishing personality in order to try to manipulate her into one, despite the fact she was deeply uncomfortable and said no countless time. nevermind you kept pushing your audience into shipping the two of you, or you being a creep who actually made merch with both of your avatars being shipped without ever asking for her consent or permission... despite you being the biggest simp that has ever simped and reeking of desperation, and begging for years that Brittany ever looked in your direction, you never have that. i bet you wish you had, even to this day, just like you wished that Courtney had never bought that lock to her room. but you didn't. and even if you did, it's still gross that you'd throw that into everyone's faces when we're talking about supposedly platforming a predator. you really are like P on that sense. neither of you understand there's a time and a place for everything, and any conversations around predators is not the place to talk about your sexual history like a walking talking red flag. not to mention flat out misogynistic and disgusting, considering you did try to coerce her for years into a relationship and ignored the many times she rejected you. almost as gross as you publishing rapes jokes about your sister who is currently accusing you of molesting her for years. keep telling on yourself, LO. it makes it so much easier for us.

talking about throway account, i do think it's funny how LO has completely ignored how she was fooled into believing that the mother of a critic of her send her asks not that long ago. as if her audience is ever going to stay with the version of reality in which that mother was totally real and she was totally concerned for her son and she totally appreciates how kind and helpful LO was. pathetic.

[itsjaywalkers]

hi! i’ve been a lurker for a while so i’m just wondering if you had any advice on coming into the marauders tumblr fan space ?? i used to be a semi big acc in another fandom on twitter a few years ago so this is very New to me and everyone here seems so sweet and cool ! i haven’t written any full fics but i have like hundreds of little aus and snippets id love to share 😭 you were one of the first marauders accounts i followed from ao3 so really i just feel more comfy, also i love your writing <3 your jeggy and bartylily are actually The Only Ships Ever for me

hello darling!! and omg i wish i did but . i don't think so?? i was also very nervous about making this blog and actively participating in this fandom bc it had been . A While . for me. like, i never stopped being in fandoms bc i love media and i'm mentally ill lmao but the last time i wrote fics for one or interacted with other ppl i was?? 16??? 17?? besides i was in marauders twt first for like a couple of months and it was a fucking nightmare so i was lowkey terrified lmao

but honestly, if u really wanna be here then i think u should just go for it!! follow all the blogs u like and i can assure u that at least a handful of them will follow back. and even if they don't, send them asks!! interact with their posts!! reblog their art!! that's how u make friends in my experience, and if ur less anxious than me u can even try and dm them about something u both like or have in common. sometimes it'll flow naturally and nicely and you'll get a friend out of it and other times it'll end in a sweet conversation. and that's fine!! it's part of the process. just . don't force it and focus on having fun and enjoying what u like and sharing ur own art with others <33 post those snippets and aus, i'm sure lots of ppl will love them

and stop that's so very lovely!! it's still so crazy to me that there are ppl who follow me from ao3.. like !! wdym u like my writing to the point u wanna know whenever i share one of my silly stories !! see my posts and everything i have to say !!! what !!!

thank u very much babe <3 i'm very happy u enjoy my fics and that u love both my jegulus and my bartylily. they're all so so so dear to me and like u said . The Only Ships Ever

[fizzingwizard]

On Methods for Gauging Reader Interest, because it's not just about comments!

Initially, comments and kudos are what matter most to me. Hits only show how many people click, so when I post a new fic or a first chapter, there's no way to know whether people stick around till the end unless they leave kudos or comment.

For fics with multiple chapters/installments, hits begin to matter as kudos dry up. You can leave kudos on AO3 once per fic. The only way to show extra support to a writer afterward is to comment on each chapter. But a lot more people are going to read than are going to leave comments. If you start looking at hits and thinking of them as little kudos themselves, that's something. Of course some of those people are still clicking and leaving without reading to the end. But it's safe to assume that enough aren't, especially if you see a similar or increased count of new hits each time you update.

Don't overlook bookmarks! If someone's bookmarked or subscribed to your fic, count it in your head as kudos. And don't forget that on AO3 you can have private bookmarks which don't show in the public bookmark count. Check your stats and you might find your fic is bookmarked significantly more often than it appears to be. (Also check what your public bookmarks are because sometimes people leave mini reviews in them and it's such a sweet surprise!)

All fics lose interaction relative to when they were published after they haven't been updated for a while. So if you want to know whether anyone's reading your "old" fic (in quotes because I find fics are treated as old pretty much as soon as they're completed and off the first page of results!), but kudos are rare and comments are rarer still: look at hits. Indulge in that wiggle of joy you get when you see there are people reading. It's not silly to do that. That's a person who noticed your fic and was interested enough to open it.

While comments will always give the biggest serotonin boost for most of us, I think that a lot of the reason we don't feel the same towards hits is simply because they're not comments. We've programmed ourselves to see certain forms of interaction as more valuable. But if you think about it, fan art here on tumblr gets a lot more likes than it does reblogs or comments. Likes on tumblr can mean you liked the art, or you're bookmarking it for later, or even that you don't like it and are planning to rant about it. Plus people can revoke Likes any time they want, which you can't do with comments or kudos.

Likes are the bare minimum for interaction tumblr, and hits are the bare minimum for AO3. Art will still have more, because it's quicker to take in a picture than it is to read even a short fic, and easier to make a judgment on whether or not you enjoy it. But the value of that interaction isn't necessarily different if you equate likes to hits. In both cases, comments and shares occur less. Interaction is largely wordless - that's just how it is. But that lack of words doesn't mean lack of interest. You've got to arrange your mentality to interpret the coded message.

This may sound like a case for quantity over quality, but that's not my intention. I know as well as any fic writer how a joyful comment can power me through the whole of the next chapter, while posting and not getting any response for weeks can feel like I might as well give up and become an accountant. :P But it's completely out of our control. And it's better to focus on what you can control than what you can't.

"I don't get enough reader response" is a common refrain which I've heard since I posted my first ever fic as wide-eyed eleven-year-old. Over the years, I found that my reliance on comments dropped as I came to value other forms of engagement more highly, as I think they deserve to be. It doesn't mean I don't still adore my commenters, it just means I am more aware of my quiet readers and adoring them as well has done wonders for my confidence as a writer :)

[feline17ff]

I posted 3,859 times in 2022

My comments are in pink

That's 1,670 more posts than 2021!

161 posts created (4%)

3,698 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@creativemercinary

@the-lavender-creator

@managerie76

@broadwaytheanimatedseries

@hydepotions

*tips my hat* m'bloggers 🎩

I tagged 3,784 of my posts in 2022

Only 2% of my posts had no tags

#ever after high - 567 posts

#lol - 382 posts

#funny - 342 posts

#made me giggle - 240 posts

#my friends - 220 posts

#eah - 216 posts

#my asks - 169 posts

#writing prompts - 156 posts

#monster high - 149 posts

#incorrect quotes - 148 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#and what does the first passage say about maddie? how can she *not* know she's a character in a book? (she can hear the narrator after all)

I wonder if the tags and links are working for me to find this post

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Sparrow: Babygirl, I know video game lore you wouldn't even care about

Ramona: Babyboy, I know true crime facts you should be scared about

Source

88 notes - Posted January 18, 2022

#4

Hey, just a heads up, archive.org needs your help!

I mostly use openlibrary.org which is already AWESOME. They're part of archive.org and an actual legal digital library - AND INTERNATIONAL

Right now (till 31st Dec 2022), archive.org has matching campaign that will TRIPLE the impact of each donation

Do donate! And then borrow a book from this library, or watch an old Film Noir movie!

Donate and, if you'd like, let other users know how archive.org has helped you! Or how you've helped it!

Mine's below! 💖

I found out about it during my Hero Academia phase so cleaned up and create pages for the mangas

And then, some time later, there were borrowable books for them! 🤩

I've watched 12 Angry Men — my first, and as of yet only, black and white movie.

I've read Freakonomics in its entirety thanks to it. I was so obsessed with the book I even read it on my phone in a very user unfriendly way because I still don't know what app works with archive.org.

For an assignment, I borrowed What You Must Think of Me: A Firsthand Account of One Teenager's Experience with Social Anxiety Disorder. It's actually not that long or boring. Unlike what books my classmates chose.

150 notes - Posted December 4, 2022

#3

How do you think the "main" crew (Apple, Raven, Cerise, Briar, Ashlynn, etc) would react to being able to hear the Narrators?- Narrator Headcanon Anon

How indeed, lol

Apple: *Very concerned about what this means but trying to remain polite as ever*

Raven:"...WHAT? Huh. Cool."

Cerise: "Wait, they know all our secrets?" *pulls hood closer. But I would love if when she's alone she just talks with someone other than family with her ears out

Briar: "OMG, that's ridonculous!"

Ashlynn: *sweet about it and tells them about the next shoe sale*

Blondie: "You're reporters just like me! Know of any juicy news happening around Ever After?"

Dexter: *existential crisis aka the thinking maths meme* "I'm so confused. I-I-I don't feel so good."

Daring: "The more the merrier, more awesome viewers for awesome Daring Charming" *winks and finger guns at the camera where the narrators are*

Hunter: "Uhhh, cool, cool" *concerned they'll spill the beans about the gift he's working on for Ashlynn*

Lizzie: "Well, of course they exist! Just because you can't hear someone doesn't mean they're not there."

Alistair, Bunny, Chase, even Courtly: *Agree with Lizzie*

Also, everyone who isn't a Wonderlandian, and I mean EVERYONE, would be wondering what other "mad" or Wonderlandian things they were wrong about

167 notes - Posted February 5, 2022

I think this is the post that started my friendship with Narrator Headcanon Anon iirc 🥰🥰🥰

#2

The kind of friendship these 3 would have:

Sparrow: *crying after spilling something on his new Nikes*

Humphrey: get me baking soda, vinegar, and a toothbrush, stat!

Alistair: *with tears in his eyes and consoling a sobbing Sparrow* I'm here bro, we'll get through this together

Based on a post I can't find "whoever thinks only girls are obsessed with shoes has never met a teenage boy"

221 notes - Posted February 4, 2022

I really love this 😂🥰

My #1 post of 2022

Writers be like:

Angst, my beloved

263 notes - Posted January 16, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

Lol. You writers and your beloved.

[stevethehairington]

Congratulations!! Honestly I’ve never seen a fic get anywhere close to 1k so 2k is so fucking impressive. That’s insane! I was wondering if you have any tips for bringing in readers? Obviously your writing is amazing. Currently I’m struggling to get 20 kudos. 😅

so sorry for the late reply, it's been a busy week! but thank you so much!!!!! i'm honestly so like shocked that it's managed to get up to 2k! it just baffles me that at least two thousand people have read/liked something that i wrote. it's incredibly validating and i just feel so so so grateful.

ooh, tips for bringing in readers hm.

share your fic on multiple platforms! obviously, once that fic is posted it's going to show up in the tags you've used on ao3 (assuming that's where you've posted it!), but you want it to reach more than just those looking on ao3, because not everyone looks in the general pairing tag or narrows their search down to the trope tags you may have used. so my advice here, is to take that link and make a tumblr post with it! make a tweet that includes it! throw that link up on instagram if you use that for fandom stuff. if you're in any discord servers for that fandom/pairing, drop the link there too! spread it around as far and wide as you can so you can get as many eyes on it as possible!

do not be afraid of some good ol' shameless self-promo! in the same vein as #1, don't be afraid to then promote those posts you've made about your fic! self-reblog, self-retweet, self-rewhatever! get your fic circulating! it's your blog/page/account, so you shouldn't ever feel bad about boosting up your own content!

find yourself a good group of friends who will hype the hell out of you and your works! not only is it ridiculously nice to have a group of people who you can talk with about fandom stuff, and spitball ideas with, and discuss theories or headcanons with until they turn into something more, but it is also soooo incredible to have people that are in your corner and that will read anything you put out and who will then also reblog/retweet/rewhatever your fics too! even if you run in the same general circle, they're still going to have connections with other people that you won't, so if they help you out by reblogging your fic, then that spreads it even further than just your own followers. and like, in my experience, fandom friends will be some of the most ride or die, supportive people that will stop at nothing to hype you up to the highest point they possibly can, so like hang onto them as tight as you possibly can because they are just the absolute best things ever <3

create some sort of banner/moodboard/graphic to go with the fic i have not personally done this, just because i am usually far too impatient once i finish a fic and i just want to get it up asap lol, BUT. i know that there are fics i've seen that have totally eye catching banners or moodboards or things like that that the writers will attach to the beginning of the fic but also to their promo posts, and those absolutely will grab attention! like, someone will be scrolling through the tag and see the banner/moodboard/whatever you made and go woah, that's cool, what is this? and they'll check out your post and if it's something they decide they're into, then the fic itself too!

i'm trying to think if there's any other advice i could give you, but tbh these are the things i stick to doing the most with my own fics. hopefully that was at least a little bit helpful!! i wish you the absolute best of luck, though! trying to get engagement on writing can be very difficult, but it's really awesome that you're putting yourself out there no matter what and sharing something you've created! that's so special and you should be very proud of yourself for that!!

(also, if your fic is a steddie fic or another st pairing that i'm into and you want to drop me the link i would totally love to check it out!!)

[snapbackslide]

something happened last night that 4 years ago would have made me the happiest person on the planet. 4 years later, all it did was send me into a panic, reignite feelings i have spent years burying, and make me question everything all over again. it almost feels dangerous to post here now.

i haven't had to avoid this platform in a long time. tumblr has been my safe space ever since i got into hockey. i've been here since 2016, and no matter what happened, i always came back, it was always my best resort. to the point where i'm no longer active on any other social media platform, only using them for news. and also because everyone who didn't want to hear from me anymore was there.

but now that i've found out that the person i have been avoiding for years, and doing my best to stay away from, is also here, active and in my interactions, i feel like i'm back to where i started. tiptoeing, frantically refreshing, staying longer than i should, unable to clear my mind and think of anything else.

i feel small. i feel like i need to disappear again. every time someone asked me for space, i dealt with it the best way i could. i've tried begging them to stay. i've tried begging them to put themselves first. i've tried ghosting. i've tried long answers, short answers, actually giving them space, checking in later to let them know i still loved and cared about them, and i've tried never reaching out again. every time, i got the exact same result. loneliness.

i'm tired of being expected to be the bigger person, to reach out first, to be the one to make the first move, and attempt to make amends. i've tried. i did everything i could.

last night i made the decision to unblock almost everyone, everywhere. i'm not trying to do anything anymore. i just want to be at peace. blocking someone only means that their profile is stashed away somewhere else on my account, like i'm still holding on. and i don't want them there anymore. i'm letting go.

i don't know if they're going to see this. it's terrifying that they might. i never want someone i don't speak to anymore to be aware of the person i am now - that's scary. they once knew everything about me. last night sent me back 4 years ago and made me feel like i was still stuck there, and nothing had changed. but i know that's not true. i've changed. i might still be just as anxious and sad, and my heart is still the same and maybe even more loving now, but i've grown a lot.

i don't know that they even realized whose post they liked. have i become so unrecognizable that my layout looks too generic, the username doesn't ring a bell, and my personality doesn't come out anymore through the words i use? not even by the first person mentioned in that infamous post? is it because i haven't reblogged my trademark hockey player in 8 months? maybe.

i don't know what to do or how to move from here. i spent the night shaking and crying and wondering how i got here. a few weeks ago i posted about how shitty it felt to get a proof of life from that same person, not knowing they were here. i don't even know if i myself have accidentally interacted with them in those last 4 years. that was the reason i blocked everyone i wasn't on good terms with, so that would never happen. i'm not trying to disrespect someone's wishes and cross their boundaries when they've specifically asked me to disappear from their lives. i thought i did. but here we are.

the hockey world seems too small sometimes. i keep running into everyone i once loved, and yet i can never tell them that again. that's the most hurtful part. i don't know how to love from a distance. and i'm so scared now to be seen again, to be aware of how they feel about me now. or worse - to learn that they don't even remember me or anything about me at all.

i said i've been changed by the recent events and i really mean that. i feel unable to hate or hold resentment towards anyone, any player, any team. i hold so much love for everything that this league is, everything it has brought me. i found family online and every time i went to a game, when i was desperate for community and i didn't know what it meant to be vulnerable with a friend, and allow them to truly know me. all my favourite players have brought me so much joy, even the ones who eventually broke my heart. i still check on them from time to time to make sure they're okay.

every year has been special in its own way. but i haven't felt this level of excitement in 3 years now. since we signed everyone in 2021, and i made that hype video before knowing what kind of ride we were in for that year. i've been uncharacteristically excited for it all to start again, then august happened. as it does, with july, every year. i was so excited. now i'm just scared.

and for the first time i almost understand what people who don't like fall mean. i playfully fight with my dad every year over it. it's my favourite season, he hates it. he calls it the season of the dead. he says it's too melancholic. and i guess that's what made it comforting for me, it's when i feel the most connected to nature. but this year, i feel a little too connected to it. like instead of healing me, it's going to take me down with it. instead of healing, it's grieving.

timing and my intuition have been troubling lately. when certain people signed with certain teams this past summer, i thought i was only going to become more hateful. and when i landed back in my city and i had lost two more people, it all started to resurface. my past self. thousands of pictures i had saved over the course of 8 years. flames and jackets and johnny, so many memories came flooding back to my mind, i found screenshots and conversations that reminded me of just how much love there was in my now broken friendships. instead of feeling empty, i felt so blessed i got to experience such fulfilling, meaningful, profound connections with people across the entire continent.

and i know that they loved me. they really did. and my love for them will never die. even if i now get a moment of anxiety every time i click on my activity tab, and on my inbox. even if i feel tempted to click on their profiles and inevitably see something that will hurt my feelings. it's the price i have to pay for all the love i was gifted. it's the curse i was given for the blessing it is to love too hard and too deeply, that when it goes sideways, it needs to die forever. grief is the price we pay for love.

grief is the price we pay for love.

[frostycatblr-fandom-files]

Wait what happened? Why are you leaving??

Camel, meet Straw. (Straw, this is Camel!)

Frankly I don't feel like getting into what this "straw" was, but I just need a break. It's long, long overdue.

Also... I hate to sound like I'm brushing aside someone who's perhaps genuinely concerned/curious/whatever else is applicable, but I just gotta ask why does often feel like it has to come to the point when a creator puts their foot down and says "enough already" that people start caring and/or try to convince them to stay?

I'm just tired of the way I feel I've been treated lately. And why does it get to this point so many times, and people get surprised by it, every time?

"Another creator is leaving/taking a break!!! Now there's less people making fan content!!!"

Did you interact with them beyond just a like, at any point ever? Tell them you loved their stuff before it was 'too late'? Actually acted on all those pretty, flattering posts on your dash about everyone being uniquely valued to the community by treating them like such?

If "No!!!" is your answer to one or more of those questions, I think it's hardly much of a surprise why they're leaving, if you think about it from their point of view.

It's not like you can scrounge together a few of your pals to quickly interact with my posts and think it's enough to stop me from taking a break, or treat an on-going problem of collective in-action and favoritism in a (or any) particular ""community"" when it comes to the fan-content you get to enjoy for. free.

I haven't been feeling like I'm seeing a community. I'm feel like I'm seeing a popularity club.

To small accounts with a handful of regular interactors like myself, the posts about every fan creator being just as important as the next look pretty insincere and empty when interaction has been dwindling *much more notably* for those who rely on those non-like interactions to push our content out to more people.

Content that we have worked so hard on, and only wish people would show it the love we feel it deserves in a so-called ""community"".

Your days of low interaction are often what my very best days look like, if that. For the time being: I've had enough and I'm taking a break to do some evaluation.

So if you're reading this post while I'm on hiatus and you...

Interact(ed) with my posts regularly-to-semi regularly in any capacity, or we're perhaps mutuals, or there are other specialized circumstances (like never seeing my blog before this post, you are coming back to Tumblr after a long break, ect...): Thank you, and congratulations. This post about not feeling like part of a ""community"" does not apply to you in this regard. I understand we all have busy lives and we're all going through problems of our own this time of year, and sometimes we just can't spare the time to stay caught-up with everyone we follow on Tumblr. Even those lucky bastards among us with the freest schedules don't dedicate that kind of time to Tumblr every day.

(I sure as hell wouldn't, I've got hobbies like art and birding and crochet to enjoy, when I'm not juggling my other responsibilities.)

Feel like you're being "singled out", guilt-tripped, or part of the generalized, non-specific "you" when talking about not feeling like an equal part of the community (and maybe you follow me but haven't interacted in a while): Think about why you feel that way. While you're at it: lets not dismiss what I said about my observations of a ""community"" right off the bat either, please? Can you please consider that maybe there's some validity to what I'm saying about the way people seem to play favorites and show bias about who's deserving of reblogs and comments?

Why us writers and artists keep trying to drill in the point of "please share if you like it" for a reason.

Telling people I'm taking a break from my sideblog feels like the courteous thing to do here when I could close shop and take my break quietly, leaving them all to wonder where I am and why there aren't any updates.

I'm not leaving. My sideblog's not going anywhere either. I will be back eventually; just likely won't be responding to any comments until I feel like returning.

Take care everyone.

[prurientpuddlejumper]

Out Tonight (Part 3)

<- Part 2 | Part 4 ->

Summary: The morning after your drunken karaoke hookup with Rafael Barba

Rafael Barba x female reader

Warnings: Mature content (no smut), very dubious consent due to alcohol, SVU-typical topics discussed

1,850 words

The light was what woke him up. Even behind his eyelids, the light was a gnawing pain that irritated him out of what had been an extremely heavy sleep. When he at last gave in to the inevitability of consciousness and opened his sluggish lids, the light seared into his retinas and stabbed him like a dagger through the optic nerve, making him hiss and pull the covers over his head.

In short, Rafael Barba awoke with a splitting hangover.

Groaning and shielding his eyes from the blaze with a palm cupped to his forehead, he peeked out of the covers and swiveled his head around. He was lying in a bed that was not his bed, in a room that was not his room. Based on the narrow size of it, the big screen TV at the center, and generic art on the walls, it was clearly a hotel room. The sun shone angrily in through the window, reflecting harshly off the windows of adjacent skyscrapers.

Something heavy and warm moved in the bed next to him, and made a low noise. At that moment, he realized there was an arm draped around his waist. His head throbbed painfully as his heart sped up.

You opened your eyes with a yawn, stretching your arms above your head, then propped yourself up on your elbow with a drowsy smile. “Morning, Rafael.”

He blinked at you, eyes wide and unbelievably pale green in the daylight, with his pupils contracted to dots. “Hello,” he greeted with bewilderment and impending panic that he haphazardly stuffed down inside a well-trained disguise of professional courtesy, though several of its seams were ripping already, only two syllables in.

“Last night was… something,” you murmured, eyes squinted into narrow slits. You were calm and pleasant, but there was a trace of hesitation in your voice, like you were nervous, or hiding something. It was enough to arouse his suspicions. You knew what was happening. You knew his name and weren’t surprised to find him in your bed, or yourself in this room.

“Where am I?” he said sternly, words short and clipped. “Who the hell are you?”

Your eyes opened wide at that, then scrunched closed again with a pained grunt that brought your hand to your face. You opened them again slowly, gradually adjusting to the light, and squinting at him in confusion you rasped, “What?!”

He was convinced of it now. He’d seen enough cases like this, taken enough witness testimony, to understand exactly what had happened to him. “You drugged me,” he growled. “You think you can get away with drugging an A.D.A.? Was this for some kind of… of blackmail?”

“Drugged you? What the fuck?” Your eyes filled up with confusion, hurt, and fear. You scrambled away toward the headboard, wincing. “Are you saying you don’t remember anything? No,” you shook your head, laughing nervously, “This… this is one of those weird pickup artist games so you don’t have to call me, right?” But there was no recognition in his eyes, only a cold, impersonal glare. Your hands flew to your mouth.

His resolution that you were some sort of predator faltered as he watched you panic, and you seemed so small and frail, and scared. It made no sense that he would wake up with no memory of last night, though. Rafael Barba was always in complete control of himself. He did not drink to excess—he rarely even got drunk—and he would never have gone home with a stranger.

As he collected the fragments of his thoughts, however, he began to shape a different story. The splitting headache and fuzziness in his mind was familiar—he recognized it from sophomore year at Harvard, and a party with the legacies who shared last names with wings of the library where he had been peer-pressured into drinking so much he blacked out. He ended up being blamed for the whole thing, while his wealthy “friends” didn’t get so much as a stern lecture. That day, he learned a valuable lesson about never letting his guard down. But a dim memory came back from the night before—he remembered being devastated by the result of a trial. He remembered nothing had been going right. And he remembered drinking.

If he was that drunk… if he couldn’t remember what he did…

He was stuck to the inside of his pants with dry semen. You had pulled away so that you were no longer under the blankets, and his chest constricted when he saw your shirt and bra torn open, and angry bruises and bite marks covering your neck all the way down to your breasts. Your face was drained of color, and you stared at him with terror when you spotted the direction of his gaze, swiftly closing your blouse. “Oh god,” he croaked. He had seen images just like this hundreds of time, submitted into evidence. He had heard this story a hundred times, too: a normally harmless man gets drunk and assaults someone, then later feigns innocence because he couldn’t remember the crime. Barba had put away men like that, with never an ounce of pity for their excuses. It wasn’t you. He felt nauseous. Blood pounded in his ears.

“What did I do?” His throat was so dry. He swallowed hard, and swallowed again, but the horrible dryness remained. “Oh god, what did I… Did I do anything inappropriate? Are you hurt? Oh god.” He blinked, glancing around the room to anchor himself to his surroundings. Big hotel flat-screen. Bathroom door. Tiny office desk with his Brioni suit jacket folded over it sloppily. He didn’t remember taking it off. “OK,” he breathed. “I need to establish a timeline. We need to determine if any… if any crimes were… Oh god.” He scrubbed his face with his palm and left his hand clamped over his mouth. He sexually assaulted someone and his life was over. He was one of the monsters he put away.

“What the fuck is happening?” you half-whispered, the corners of your lips pulling taut into a grimace as your hungover mind spun to catch up with the emotional whiplash of the last sixty seconds.

His eyes were glassy with unspilled tears, but he tried to smile comfortingly, like he might to a hesitant witness in a trial. “Look, I’m a lawyer. I… I know the detectives in the Special Victims Unit,” he said. You shot back a skeptical glance, and he realized that probably sounded like a veiled threat. “I can give you Sargent Benson’s number. They won’t go easy on me if you press charges, trust me. I’m sure some of them would be happy to handcuff me for how difficult I make their lives. Obviously, I’ll plead guilty to any charges, but first we need to convince the grand jury to indict...”

Your face had worked through several stages of confusion, cringing, and brow-raising, and finally your brow pinched together and your grimace broke into the dark, guilty grin of someone laughing at something that was probably too serious to laugh at.

“Rafael, you really...” you covered your eyes and shook your head, “You are really obsessed with proving you’re a rapist; I think your job is doing something to your brain. Maybe you need a vacation.”

His mind had been working a mile a minute to uncover the crime that would explain the mystery of his distressing circumstances, first accusing you, and then himself of being the perpetrator. But, he had been told more than once that he could be high-strung at times. Maybe there was no crime, legally speaking. At least, he was relieved he hadn’t done something awful. It was still unclear who you were, and why you felt comfortable taking advantage of someone who was severely impaired by alcohol. There was something else… something just out of reach in the smoky nebula of his memory.

���What do you know about my job?” he asked, eyes narrowed.

“You told me about it last night!” You sighed heavily, and scooted closer to him. “Tranquilo, Rafael. Cálmate.” You gently pressed his shoulders as you searched his eyes. He flinched away from your touch, and you frowned. “You really don’t remember me? Jesus, you were drunker than I thought. It’s a good thing we didn’t fuck.”

“We didn’t?”

“No. You wanted to, but I told you you were too drunk!” You poked his chest in a playful I-told-you-so way, but when he returned only a strained glare, your hand dropped sheepishly to your side.

He was puzzled and disturbed. Most strangers mistook him for a gringuito, but you just told him to calm down in Spanish. You had obviously spoken at length. But he couldn’t remember. And there was something about you he couldn’t put his finger on, something that felt important. It probably wasn’t. Whenever he forgot something he meant to say, it grated at his brain for the longest time, and when he finally remembered, it was always something like, “I prefer Cheez Doodles over Cheetos.”

There was something in the way you were looking at him, almost mournfully that stirred up a lost feeling. He wondered what he had said to you last night—what kind of reckless flirt drunk-Barba had been to leave you so heartbroken this morning. He would have felt guiltier, but his head was being squeezed in a lead vice, and he was in no mood to tolerate fools. Maybe you hadn’t intended it, but you had taken advantage of a moment of weakness, and he was done with the whole sordid incident.

“I’m sorry if I gave you the impression that…” He winced as he stood up from the bed, his underwear yanking on the pubic hair glued to it with dried cum.

“Please, stay and use the shower,” you offered, but it was more like a plea.

“Well, I certainly can’t go out like this,” he snipped. His shirt was wrinkled, and his slacks ruined, with the embarrassing pièce de résistance of the crispy, stiff area at his crotch which could not escape anyone’s notice. He could only imagine what his hair was doing.

Your eyes followed him as he bustled around the small room wearing a sour expression, checking the closet for, and gratefully finding, an ironing board. They kept following him until he closed the bathroom door behind him, and he was left alone with your helpless eyes still hanging in front of him in his imagination, and the strange way they made him feel. He had a million questions for you, but he was certain he did not want the answers.

It’s not as if this story could have had a happy ending, anyway. He was an A.D.A. with a career in the public eye, and this was already bordering on a scandal. Drunken hookups with party girls at bars never ended well. It was better to just forget.

• ● • ━━━━━─ ••●•• ─━━━━━ • ● •

Tags:  @beccabarba​ @caked-crusader @itsjustmyfantasyroom @thatesqcrush @dianilaws​ @permanentlydizzy @eclecticreader2020 

[outrunningthedark]

i feel like I’m always in your notifs liking and reblogging so apologies if that gets annoying ❤️❤️

but i just want to say i love your account tremendously!! your conversations about the casual ableism in the fandom (and in general!) have not only helped me step back and look at my own biases and take the opportunity to educate myself, but it’s also helped me understand more of how my brother and mom feel living in an able bodied world (even tho it isnt the exact same way as you or chris experience) , and what i can do to help and support them.

i just wanted to let you know that, and not only that but your posts and other topics you talk about i look forward to seeing on my dash ❤️

i hope youre having a wonderful day so far and it continues to be good for you!!

Oh my gosh, you don't need to worry about annoying me at all! Finding the same accounts in my notifs when I post about disabled life renews my hope in the future, tbh - I know my attempts to explain and educate are actually having an impact, no matter how small it may be. Being in our fandom is definitely a struggle at times for me. On the one hand, I am so thankful to have my disability shown on television (I've grown accustomed to wheelchair users having a spinal cord injury or missing limbs, but not CP). I'm also thankful that TPTB chose to depict CP through a person much like me. So often, outsiders hear the term "cerebral palsy" and assume the worst, ie can't communicate verbally, can't feed or dress myself. Yes, these are realities for some of the people dealing with my condition, but the able-bodied need to see that disabilities are not one-size-fits-all, and they aren't a death sentence, either. In fact, our "success" is largely dependent upon the world around us. The more accessible our environment is, the more motivated we are to go out and do things. (As Stella Young famously said, "No amount of smiling at a flight of stairs has ever made it turn into a ramp.") On the other hand (as you've noted), people want to "enjoy the show" without getting into *serious* discussions about the way Christopher's CP is handled because they're just here to have fun! This isn't real life! Truth? I despise opinions like this because the writers are making the effort to illustrate ableism when they could have avoided the topic all together. If we cannot have open and honest dialogue about a fictional character because people feel guilty and don't want to think about that little boy hurting in any way, what the hell goes on "in real life"? Are you avoiding eye contact with the disabled? Literally running from them? Saying things you think sound "supportive", but actually showcase how little you care or understand? There's no excuse to be ignorant anymore. I am so glad to hear that my experiences are helping you reexamine your relationship with your brother! No two disabilities are the same, but I think we can all relate to the desire to be treated with the same respect as those who are able-bodied. Ableism doesn't concern itself with *what* disability we have, just that we have one at all. I apologize for word-vomiting on you, but I want you to know that your message brought a genuine smile to my face! Thank you for always listening and offering your perspective when you feel comfortable! The only way to normalize these types of talks is by continuing to do so even when others are resistant. We're not going to be able to reach everybody, but sometimes, all it takes is one.

[thedreadvampy]

Like idk what you want from me here. If you want to engage me in a specific question about ace/aro identities, as I've said several times and nobody has ever actually done, then ask me the specific question. Don't fuck around with vague gestures at Points of Discourse and then get cross with me because I haven't answered the Exact Question you Didn't Ask But Expected Me To Intuit.

Preface: If you don't want to answer any of these because you are allo/allo and don't have a say because its not your place, say that. In fact, I'm asking these because you seem to do have opinions on things you shouldn't based off things you have said in the past.

I also want to state that I agree fully with your points about Martin- minus the blatant aphobia. Not just acephobia, arophobia as well.

1. Do you think qprs are problematic? I believe you once made a post saying roughly that qprs are just normal friendships, or something like that, that has since been deleted. What is your current opinion?

2. Are het aros lgbt?

3. Are het aces lgbt?

4. Cis aro/aces lgbt?

5. Cishet aro/aces?

6. Do the spectrums and micro identities exist? You've implied in the past they don't, in the post about how they were supposedly created from sex positivity

7. Can aros be in or desire romantic relationships?

8. Can aces have or desire sex?

9. Does the split attraction model exist and does it benefit people?

10. Can teenagers identify as aro/ace or do you think they're too young?

11. Can you be, say, an aroace lesbian, or an aroace gay, aroace bi, etc. Idk how to phrase this one but like can you be aroace and still id with another orientation?

I could send another anon detailing the aphobia in the post, because I at least am certainly not upset about Martin being sexual, rather it was the very blatant aphobia. It could have stemmed from ignorance, and if that's the case I don't mind explaining it.

Ok this is a lot of questions, some with quite involved answers, so I'm gonna answer them chunk by chunk so it's a bit more manageable, and then I might come back to some of the surrounding message. This isn't gonna be an immediate bang bang bang, but I'll try and work through them over the next couple of days.

Question 1

1. No, I don't think qprs are problematic. I don't necessarily understand them but I don't need to understand them to understand and respect that they're a thing that's important to a lot of people. I don't know what post you're referring to, but I'm surprised that you say it was deleted, because I very rarely delete posts except, occasionally, reblogs where people have flagged up misinformation or dogwhistles or which I reblogged by accident. tbh I'm the messiest online presence I'm way too lazy to delete past posts or block people even when I probably should bc I don't like to feel like I'm ~hiding evidence~. So I'm not saying you're wrong, you're probably totally right, but I'm surprised.

I'm thinking about what posts I've made that you could be thinking of, and obviously I don't remember everything I say on here bc I say A Lot and I actively post to get things out of my head so 🤷‍♀️ but I do remember making a post a while ago where I said that it was a normal expectation of friendship to have some friends close enough that you'll live with them, raise kids with them, etc, and I'm wondering if that was the post you're thinking of? I did have qprs in mind while writing that to a degree, but only because I think 'you wouldn't do this with your friends' is a very common argument people put forward about qprs and I think it's a weak argument, because many people have different definitions of friendship, and the only argument I think is needed for any sort of I Have X Emotional Relationship To This Thing is...I Have X Emotional Relationship To This Thing. Like you can't offer a universal materialist definition of the differences between romantic, queerplatonic, sexual and platonic relationships, because the boundaries are very personal and it's really an emotional and experiential difference. so if that is the post you're thinking of, I wasn't criticising The Concept Of QPRs as much as saying that I thought trying to put hard lines around What Friends Do Vs What QPPs Do was a) counterproductive when arguing with someone who thinks QPR is Just Normal Friendships bc. if they do those things with their friends then saying NO THIS IS A QPR THING just reinforces their existing belief that you're talking about the same thing as they mean by friendships and b) to me seems to set a painful expectation to young people that you can only get these kinds of close friendships occasionally and in the form of a QPR and it will be stigmatised and misunderstood (and depending on how people talk about it, is only accessible to aspec people and allo people should only expect it to come through romantic/sexual relationships), when in fact most people of most ages I know have friends with whom they can share things like housing, deep feelings, futures, finances, who they miss if they don't see for a few days, who are mutually supportive and vital to their wellbeing. I don't think that's mutually exclusive with the existence of QPRs though - like I personally don't know what the difference is between a QPR and a close friendship, but I also don't know what the difference is between a romantic relationship and a close friendship but I know there is one and I know it's not a question of What You Do but a question of How You Feel And Interact, and that's pretty hard to define in unambiguous terms.

Like generally I don't Not Think QPRs exist, and I think it's a dick move to try and tell people they're wrong about how they experience and define their relationships because???? how are you meant to know that better than the person whose relationship it is??? but I do think the way people talk about QPRs (both from the perspective of defending them and from the perspective of attacking them) is pretty rife with problems and I don't think it's invalidating the reality of QPRs to talk about where the arguments and language around them potentially falls down or has unexpected consequences.

On the other hand, I don't know if that actually is the post you're referring to - the reason I'm calling back to that is that that and a few resultant asks are the only time I remember talking about QPRs on here in the last year or so. So like, several of these questions reference past posts, which is very fair, but I do need it to be clear that, since I don't really tag anything and I don't have a great memory, I can only really speak to What I Think Now In This Context, not to what I posted in the past and what I was thinking when I posted it. Like, this isn't too deny responsibility - I reckon I'm responsible for what I post even if I don't still agree with it, which is why I don't tend to delete my own posts on purpose - but just to deny capacity, I guess? I don't really KNOW what I've posted so if you talk about it in vague terms (and I do understand that if it's been deleted there's not a lot you can do but that) I may not necessarily be responding to the part of it that's worried you, so if I'm not speaking to something specific I've said or done, it's not because I Don't Want To, I just don't necessarily know to.

I'm waffling about this because looking through your messages there's a lot of "you said X" and like. given that the intended message of the post that's kicked this off was very different to the message people have taken from it, it feels important to me to know whether if I looked at the posts you're referencing I'd be like "ah yeah I did believe that but now I believe X" or if it's more a situation of "oh right I can see how you took X from that but my thinking was more Y".

(also sometimes when people say "you made a post" they mean "you reblogged a post" and I am a compulsive discourse scroller so sometimes I reblog a random post to bookmark my place on someone's discourse blog or I accidentally longpress the reblog button while scrolling - I try to delete reblogs that I don't agree with but sometimes I miss some, all of which to say if there's a post on my blog that doesn't seem to reflect what I say in my original posts then it doesn't necessarily mean I'm a crypto-whatever so much as I'm very lazy and messy with my blog. Doesn't mean I shouldn't be held accountable for reblogs but it's useful to know if we're talking original content or reblogs bc I'm unlikely to fully accidentally make a post. but I quite often accidentally reblog stuff. I doubt this is the case with this sitch just bc of your phrasing but I want to cover my bases)

anyway tl;dr: no I don't believe that QPRs themselves are inherently problematic, nor do I think I have at any point believed that, but I do think that a lot of the language and ideas used to talk about them are based in miscommunication or absolutist ideas about relationships and can have damaging knock on effects.

[maiverie]

In response to these (just in case ur confuzzled lol,, I didn't wanna make a longgg string of replies under one post)

BUT YESSS!!! HEESEUNG IS SO??#&@&&#?? GOD HE IS SO GORGEOUS😭😭😭WHEN I SAW THE PICTURE I CHANGED MY LAYOUT IMMEDIATELY IT HAD TO BE DONE😍

And nursing?? Omg that's so hot of you mai👁️👄👁️ And lol it IS sort of surprising but in a good way!! You just seem so chaotic and fun but you also seem really kind so I think you'll make a good nurse!! Tbh I would've gone into nursing but personality wise I'm just not built for it. I think I'm too sensitive for that line of work :')

And yeah!! Plz I'm genz but I didn't know what the hell was going on with smaus when I first got on here💀 I knew they did something sort of like it on Twitter but like I didn't know they were a THING thing until I came here. BUT LOL LOOK AT ME NOW THO😭😭😭😭BUSY WITH ONE AS WE SPEAK!! Tbh they're very fun to read but also a LOT of work to make!! like a LOT,, so I commend everyone who has ever made or worked on one👏

But also,, written fics😩 we barely have any but lemme tell you we came a long way because when I first came here I could barely find any. most of the written works were headcannons and imagines,, but I see lots of writers are branching out and doing written fics and one shots which is very cool of them🤩🤩🤩 smaus are in their popular era so I think a lot of writers are fascinated with trying to make one ( me included) but I feel genuinely bad sometimes because there are many writers on here writing full length fics and barely getting engagement because people aren't that interested in reading long pieces. I hope it doesnt discourage them tho,, even tho they might feel that way. Also, with tumblrs shitty algorithm. It's hard to gain exposure because people prefer to like rather than reblog. And like,, if you don't get a lot of notes within say, they first day or two or very hard for people to find them and read them unless others reblog it onto their dash

(sorry for typos💀)

HI TAYYYY SO SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY 😭 BEEN SO BUSY W THE EXAM PREP AND ALL <3 hope u've been well tho and omfg its the weekend soon YESSS THANK GODD

HI TAYYYY SO SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY 😭 BEEN SO BUSY W THE EXAM PREP AND ALL <3 hope u've been well tho and omfg its the weekend soon YESSS THANK GODD eTS HORRIBLE BAHAHHA jkjk im just a lazy bitch ;-; but omg thank u so much?! and heh id love to hear what kind of career youre hoping to get into w ur degree and all?! TELL ME EVERYTHINGGG YES EXACTLYYYYY SAME??? AND YUS OMG i heard about it first becoming a thing after a bts smau became rlly popular on twt or smth...??? but i rlly did not know how much of an impact they had here on engene tumblr 😳 ITS WILDDD AND YES TAY PLS I WOULD LOVE TO READ UR SMAU AND ME TOO I WANNA WRITE ONE SO BAD RN 😩 and frfr i know they look easy but i bet im gna regret it the moment i start writing one KJSDFJDS WRITTEN FICS ARE SOO GOODDD 😭 coming FROM A PERSON WHO CAN'T VISUALISE FOR SHIT,,,, I LOVE WRITTEN FICS?? LIKE... U CAN LITERALLY PLAY W THE WORDS AND W METAPHORS AND IMAGERY AND EVERYTHING U LTRLY CANT GET THIS FROM SMAUS!!! GOD TIER!!! ONLY HOT PEOPLE READ WRITTEN FICS!!! JK im just sad cos i feel like written fics r slowly dying and im sad ;-; BUT YES EXACTLYYY it makes me kinda sad to think that too even tho i rlly love reading smaus? i totally understand the appeal bc its just sm easier/quicker to read plus THEYRE LITERALLY SO FUNNY I CANT SKDKS but yeah even as a written fic writer myself every now and then i'll wonder if anyone is even gna be interested in stuff in the future ;-;

YESSS TUMBLR'S ALGORITHM TOO 😩 icb they don't account for likes...??? sounds so dumb to me 😭

PLS NAUR ICB U DEAL W ME TEXTING COS WE ALL BEEN KNEW THAT IM LEGIT HTE WORST AT TEXTING PROPERLY,,,,, TOO CHAOTIC HELP