#they're handling crushes in their own weird way

[sweetlullabyebye]

Characters that are absolute lovesick disasters but also brutal killers are... definitely something

[dontbesoweirdkira]

Platonic Yan! Batboys x Batsis darling

A/N: I want to talk about the concept of batsis having a s/o or a crush and how the family would react to that. I'm sure this concept might've been done but if i may speak-

Warnings: Obsession, relationship sabotage, overbearing family dynamics

Requests: always open.

Masterlist

Dick Grayson

I think he's kind of complex about this issue. I don't think !yan Dick would have a problem with you dating in itself. Like there is so many siblings and no way to keep all of these hormonal teen and young adults at bay. He's been there, he gets it.

But there's some conditions. You have to have a good relationship with dick, first. It you are close, that means you tell him...everything. He can easily monitor you and the progression of things. You'll be trusted to tell him is something goes wrong and he can step in. You won't mind Dick tagging along or being generally invasive. You won't forget about him or the family, he knows that you'll drop everything and come running. His grip is already secured firmly around you and your mind so theres no reason to worry. Have fun, be safe.

If you're anything like my previous posts where batsis is not close with dick in the slightest, he'd sabotage that relationship. He's not having it at all. Your dating is a threat to the family. You already have an apprehension of him, so anyone can swoop in and take his sis away. He doesn't want that. He doesn't trust your judgement or decision making skills enough. Dick knows that if someone hurt you or was dangerous, you'd hid it from him. You refuse to give Dick any sort of access to your life so therefore dating is a no. Sorry baby bat, it's for your own good!

But maybe i'm wrong. Maybe Dick doesn't want any of his siblings dating..especially his batsis. I've said before that Dick has given up his previous relationships among other things for the family. His siblings are his most important priority and he's willing to do whatever it takes to make sure they're properly provided for. What if he expects the same. He's jealous over the fact you all get to go out and date and he cannot because he's stuck playing dad? What if he's jealous that you're spending all your time with someone else? You don't have time for your older brother anymore

He's hurt when you embarrassingly hide your partner from him. You're critiquing everything he does and tells him not to call you by the nicknames he gave you. Yan! Dick hates being discarded. And maybe, none of this happened? Maybe you gladly show off your brother to your partner? Maybe just the thought of you one day getting married and leaving him fills his mind. He overthinks about being left here alone like Bruce was...he doesn't want that. He cannot have that. You cannot date for your own good...for his own good

Jason Todd

I don't think he'll ever vocalize his true feelings. and reluctantly allows it. Jason is rather against you dating, but because he doesn't trust anyone outside of the family. Plus he doesn't like that he gets to see you way less now.

Jason would be the brother that'd be cleaning his guns while you're introducing you partner to him. His tone is sharp and he doesn't embrace them once. He wants them to know there is someone in your life that'll kill for you if they hurt you.

I think if Jason sensed the person you were dating wasn't any good, he'd handle it privately. Your partner ghosts you for three days then sends a "i don't want to see you ever again." text. Weird. Everything was going great. Luckily your brother Jason just got back from his three day trip to comfort you.

If the partner is good but he doesn't really get any time with you, i think he's get a little out of character. Suddenly he's a lot more clingy to you when you're there. He's just following you around the entire house and wanting to spend every second with you. If it gets bad enough he will have to intervene with his other siblings. He misses you. This whole dating things sucks, who needs them when you have a perfect family. They're all you need.

Damien Wayne

He doesn't like change. At. All. This family is perfect as it is.

So don't mess it up by changing the natural order of things. This partner of yours is a nuisance. An incompetent, brain dead loser who is dragging you down with them. You don't need them. Damien is rather offended that you felt like you even needed something more outside of the family. What does this prick have that they don't?

He's weary of the fact that this person wanted to date you. Not that you're not enough but you're a Wayne now. People always wants something, if not money, its something else. You're foolish for this.

On a deeper level, Damien feels like he's loosing a parent. It's clear that your partner doesn't like your younger brother or even want him around. He misses you driving him around, reading together and sneaking out. You've never taken his often impolite banter to heart, you loved him as he was. He felt drawn to you. You were like a mother figure to him..don't do this. He;s sad and thinks you don't love him anymore.

Tim Drake

Maybe the least closest to you. You probably think he doesn't even like you but it's not true. He's just an observer more than a hands on type of person. He's just as yandere as the others, he cares. The second he got the name of your partner, he spends all day searching up dirt on them. He has a file of blackmail sitting pretty on his hard drive in case that person hurts you.

He's not confrontational like the rest. He's a bit too socially awkward for that but if he seriously felt you were in danger, he'd stop you. I think he'd mainly plot with the others to sabotage the relationship.

Like Damien, he doesn't understand why you need someone so badly. The family is more that fulfilling to him so why not for you? Time misses the little things like when you'd bring him food to his desk, or usher him to take a break from his computer. He misses your laughter and interactions with the rest of the family. He doesn't feel safe with you being out so much. The world is a dangerous place, it's safer here, where everyone can protect you. They all love you, and their love combined is far stronger than your partners.

[lsunstreakerl]

1.7k legal adjustments verse, max POV, daniel POV, mature content implied.

relevant heads up: omegaverse, muzzles, genuinely lethal levels of being on different pages, hurt no comfort

"It's just for the double header, Max."

Christian's lying. It's this double header, and then it's the next time they're on this side of the world again, and it'll just keep happening, over and over.

"His teeth are in my neck, how is that not enough?"

That Christian seems equally as frustrated is only a small relief. He's holding the leather in his hands, and Max is trying not to look at it.

"I promise, the FIA is doing everything they can to find a compromise. Unfortunately at the moment, it's either this or not racing."

He holds it out to Max, who takes it with no small amount of disgust. It makes him feel awful even just looking at it, humiliation churning in his gut. They can't actually expect him to wear this every moment he's out of the car— they'll never get any sound bites or interviews out of him.

It doesn't help that his alpha doesn't even want him. Daniel will probably see it as another failure, and it's worse than just the indignity of Max being muzzled— he'll be muzzled with the tag of an alpha that will be equally as embarrassed, because its Max.

He's not even a catch, just a burden, another thing on Daniel's list of things to handle. His fingers are trembling as he holds the muzzle, looking down at Daniel's logo stamped into the side. His FIA mandated collar has his own logo, but there's no sign of it on the muzzle, just Daniel's logo at the hinge of his jaw.

At least it doesn't have sponsors.

------

He and Daniel don't share hotel rooms. It had been a naive thought Max had initially, when Daniel had bitten him and then fucked him, let him make a nest in his home.

They're not like that.

Max stays in his flat in Monaco, reassures the woman at his favorite bakery that his alpha is at home, that he doesn't like to come out often. He spends most of his time in his flat, because he's afraid of what might happen if he goes out too much, if people notice that he's always alone. He's vulnerable now.

The sim rig hasn't let him down, and the cats love him the same as before, and if Max doesn't go outside then he can't possibly run into Charles. The unanswered calls and texts on his phone nag at him, but he doesn't know what to say.

I'm sorry wouldn't cut it.

------

"—and Dan, if you could get the muzzle fit tested tonight and let us know if Max needs any changes? We want it as comfortable as possible, even if we hopefully aren't using it long."

Daniel is startled out of his daydreams, head spinning. He doesn't know anything about a muzzle, hasn't talked to Max much at all beyond surface level jokes at the factory, carefully maintaining his distance. Max has been looking worse, the stress from the season and a mating he didn't want weighing on him, and Daniel feels nausea at the thought of it.

The distance is helping, it has to be, but it's impossible for them to entirely separate. Max is always going to be around the source of the trauma, around Daniel, and now—

"Yeah, I'll get right on that."

Max's hotel keycard burns a hole in his pocket. Daniel always gets a copy, because he's the one buying the hotel rooms, but he hasn't used it until now. He knocks on Max's door, waiting patiently on the other side. He's fully capable of carding himself in, but the idea of intruding into Max's space grates against him unpleasantly.

The door opens a crack, but Max doesn't open it all the way, peeking through the side. Something about his scent smells off.

"Max, hey, can I come in?"

Max swallows, but he opens the door further, eyeing Daniel nervously. It's nothing like how he used to be, perfectly at ease in Daniel's presence, because Daniel's ruined it, crushed it with any of the rest of Max's romantic dreams.

The room smells weird too. It takes him a minute to realize that it's because there's the artificial scent of pheromone neutralizer in his nose, all across the room. He doesn't see anything resembling a nest, even though Max isn't great at them to begin with.

There's a sour undertone to the whole thing, which surely has something to do with the muzzle on the table. Max won't look him in the eye, shifting on his feet.

"I tried to fit test it myself, but I of course cannot get the straps. Sorry."

Obviously Max can't get the muzzle on or off himself, it's part of the design. Daniel swallows back bile.

"It's okay, Max. Just, uh, stand here?"

Max is shorter than him, but not by much, and it's an awkward angle for his hands until Max lowers onto his knees, knuckles white where he's gripping his sweatpants, head tilted back.

Everything about the submissive posture screams discomfort, and Daniel wants—

He wants to break something, wants to rip it apart, wants to fix it, wants to sink his teeth into Max again, wants his mate right next to him, wants him happy.

His fingers are shaking as he takes the muzzle, trying to figure out the straps. There's no sign of Max's logo, or his name, or anything, just Daniel's logo stamped into the leather. The ownership makes him feel even guiltier, churning uncomfortably with the alpha instincts he's already grappling with.

He can't figure it out, brow furrowed, until Max sighs and takes the muzzle back, carefully fitting it over his face so Daniel just has to secure it. He's wearing scent blocking patches— recent ones, from the looks of it, still bright white against his skin. Daniel eyes the muzzle, realizing the flat piece that had confused him is inside Max's mouth.

There's a small channel on the side of the muzzle that looks about the size of their straws, so Max can still drink, but otherwise his mouth is obscured, straps looping around the back of his head. Daniel secures them in place, fitting a finger between Max's head and the strap. It's a tight fit, but there's a small amount of give.

He crouches in front of Max, meeting his eyes. There's a depth to them he can't quite read, and he can't smell Max like this either— he feels like he's fumbling in the dark.

"Is that piece on top of your tongue?"

Max nods, and Daniel watches as he swallows. It seems like it takes more force, the bob of his throat more pronounced, but he's still breathing fine through his nose. There's a few holes punched through the front of the muzzle for airflow, but there's mesh behind them, so he still can't see Max's mouth.

He hates it.

"Is it poking anywhere? Too tight, feels weird?"

Max works his jaw for a moment before shaking his head softly, eyes still locked on Daniel. He's not sure how he's going to manage an entire double header of having Max attached at his side like this, not when the only thing he wants to do is take it off and hide Max away in a nest.

Maybe they should do that instead, and Christian can pull reserves. He'll stay cuddled up with Max, order takeout, figure out what's up with the scent blockers and the neutralizer, and things will be okay.

He glances down at Max's bite, sunken deep into the skin, and shoves the idea out of his mind. That's the last thing Max would want— Max wants racing, they wouldn't be in this position if he cared about anything else near as much.

He unstraps the muzzle, hating himself for the flip in his stomach at the string of spit that snaps between Max and the muzzle before he sets it back down.

Max immediately brings a hand up to massage at his jaw, no longer meeting his eyes, and Daniel wants to do it for him, to work out the tension already building. He wants to curl them up in the bed and scent him, reassure him that Daniel wouldn't let anything happen to him.

"It fits fine, thank you. You can let Christian know it does not need adjustments."

It's cold water to his system, reminding him that they aren't like that. Daniel is only here because Max couldn't check it himself, so that they can follow regulations, so that Max can race.

"Right, yeah, I'll... I'll let him know."

He forces himself to his feet, heart tugging violently at the thought of leaving Max behind here.

"Do you need anything?"

Max shakes his head.

------

He waits five minutes after Daniel has left to peel off the scent blockers, wincing at the acidic taste of his own scent flooding the room. The abandonment and the disgust, the worthlessness, everything he feels about the muzzle— it's been permeating into his hotel room, and he'd freaked out when Daniel had knocked unexpectedly, slathering on scent blockers and spraying nearly the entire complimentary bottle of neutralizer.

Thankfully, Daniel hadn't noticed. Or maybe he had, and he just hadn't cared. He seemed plenty upset about having to deal with the muzzle already, which has Max annoyed and ashamed in equal measures.

Obviously he can't do it himself, because if he could he certainly would not have bothered Christian to bother Daniel about the fit testing. It's not like he's trying to make things difficult, and it's certainly not his fault they have all these stupid fucking rules.

He races the same now as he did before Daniel bit him, except now he has to wear a collar and a muzzle, and none of the alphas roughhouse with him anymore, and he doesn't remember the last time he'd had someone in his nest.

He doesn't remember the last time he'd even bothered making a good nest. His current one is in the closet, shoved tightly back in the corner.

It's where he's been sleeping. He doesn't feel safe here, especially not alone, and it's been messing with his instincts. Maybe if Daniel had stayed, scented something, scented Max—

It doesn't matter. He curls up miserably in the nest, still tasting leather on his tongue.

[cr1mson5returns]

Although I enjoy a good "Jack Drake is a physically and mentally abusive asshole and deeply homophobic" fic as much as the next ex-Catholic lesbian, I have to admit that I have a way softer spot in my heart for "clueless blundering ass who makes everything worse" Jack Drake.

Maybe it's because my own parents were deeply homophobic in a very different way to others. If you asked them, they'd tell you they have no problem with queer people. They don't care what anyone does in the privacy of their own home, really! Therefore they're not homophobic! But they just don't think you have to make it your whole personality. You don't have to shove it in everyone's faces. And all these new labels for things, what's up with that? Isn't it enough for people to just be gay or straight?

So because I do be projecting, I have a soft spot in my heart for Tim coming out to Jack as bisexual, and Jack just sort of...short-circuiting, for a hot minute. "Well, I'll always love you, son." And Tim thinks that this went pretty well, actually. But Jack later is maybe telling Tim that there are ground rules for him and his dates. Can't bring boys back to the house, strict curfew, has to let Jack know where he is and with whom at all times. Jack doesn't kick Tim out or anything, or call him names, but it's uncomfortable living there now in a way that it wasn't before. Jack has a weird vibe about him when Tim talks about a boyfriend or a male crush. Shuts down the conversation really quickly and won't entertain it any longer. Jack starts being critical of Tim in ways that he wouldn't if he didn't know about his son's sexuality; he asks why Tim feels the need to have a bi pride flag in his room, or why he has to make this his defining characteristic now. And Jack never actually says the word "bisexual." It's always "this." How they just need to leave "this" alone for a while, they need to not make every conversation about "this."

Because Tim is such a person to let a person's good characteristics speak miles more than their bad ones, if they're close enough to him. He has plans in place if Batman goes rogue, but not for his own protection, never for himself. Always for everyone else's benefit. He can live with what happens to him if he's wrong. So of course he'd never call his dad a homophobe, that's not - his dad didn't kick him out. Doesn't hit him or call him names or say mean things to him. It hurts his feelings sometimes, but he takes worse than that from street thugs every night. It's not like he can't handle his dad being a little weird about things.

Right?

[radioactive-yuri]

sakura haruno as an aromantic lesbian is one of my favourite headcanons ever, because like. it makes sense. the way she handles the topic of love seems very much like a teen girl's understanding of what they're supposed to feel. sasuke is cool and mysterious, teen girls are supposed to be into that, so she decides that sasuke is her crush. probably because she heard other girls talking about him, and wanted to fit in.

then, slowly, sasuke becomes, in her mind, proof of her own femininity; as long as she's "in love" with sasuke, no one can accuse her of being different. being the weird girl who doesn't like any guy is one of her worst fears. so she forces herself to become more and more obsessed with sasuke, in order to fit in. sasuke is less of a crush to her, and more of an ideal: as long as she doesn't actually have to date him, she can obsess over him and convince herself she's a normal straight girl.

but then she becomes teammates with him, and becomes actual friends with him. she's definitely platonically attracted to him, which she misinterprets as the romantic feelings she's been pretending to have for years now. she just wants to be his friend, but since he's a conventionally attractive guy, that must be romantic, right?

her rivalry with ino definitely plays into this. one of her best friends, whom she's definitely attracted to in more than a platonic way, is romantically attracted to sasuke. maybe she doesn't realize it, or maybe she does, and thinks that developing feelings for sasuke would be a good way to get closer to ino. who knows. but instead that gives birth to a rivalry between the two of them, which sakura can't protest to; after all, this is what's supposed to happen, right? you like a guy, which means everyone else who also likes him is your rival. that's how love is portrayed in media. jealousy is, in her mind, just another way for her to prove she's "just like everyone else". and when she sees ino flirting with sasuke, she feels jealousy. but not for ino. for sasuke. she wishes ino was flirting with her instead- but she still feels jealousy, so it must be for sasuke, because that's the "normal", heterosexual explanation for the feelings she's experiencing when the two interact.

then, there's her dynamics with rock lee and naruto. rock lee expresses overt romantic interest in her immediately, but since he's unpopular, expressing interest in him would definitely cost sakura her status as a "normal" girl. now, she already feels repulsed by romance, so it's very easy for her to act repulsed by rock lee in general. but when her rejections of his advances are actually accepted by him and he backs off, she wants to be his friend. she gets him flowers and talks to him.

naruto is a bit more subtle about his attraction to her, but still very obvious about it. again, he's unpopular. sakura wants to be seen as normal so badly that she'll reject any advances made by "unpopular" boys and accept any made by "popular" boys; not because she's actually attracted to them, but because it gains her social leverage.

and then we see her using naruto's feelings for her to her advantage in that one scene in shippuden, which is by far one of the most interesting sakura scenes to me, because it shows a very genuine distortion of her view of romance. that it's a tool that can be used, instead of an emotion that is experienced. she's never actually experienced it herself, which is why she's so quick to pretend to experience it to her advantage; that's what she's done all her life.

[intimidating-fettuccine]

Okie good just wanted to double check

So. I think Hobo does well with pressure. Specifically, I think as arguably the cuddliest bird in the underworld, he really really likes it when his close friends and partner lay on top of him to cuddle. He's tall and he's mostly muscle; more than that, I think if his anxiety is bad enough he might get tremors, and what better way to deal with that than someone physically crushing his soul back into his body?

Same note (kind of) I think he might be one of the fastest to put himself between people if need be. His wings are huge, and he's probably been told he can be hard to read when he wants to be, so he's not above using a flat face and his mass to separate people making problems.

Part of the reason he might be so quick to be muscle or just a barrier is because somewhere he's convinced himself what he can give physically is the only good he can do?? Which. Would make sense as tragic as it is. It probably would've been cemented prior to him knowing what his aura could do; it might be the biggest hurdle to get through when dealing with his own mental health, because he worries him getting better will come at the inevitable cost of everyone around him getting worse.

On a much happier note, I imagine he likes aquariums and botanical gardens a lot. With the years he spent wandering, I think it might be a good chance to remember the people who helped him, and also to help keep him curious about the world.

You said he likes frogs, and I think that expands to a lot of amphibians. Newts, toads, salamanders- he might be especially fond of axolotls and olms, since they're a little weird like he is.

(back to the cuddling thing)

I think he might struggle with touch?? Overall?? Not in the "avoids it" way but in the "is so unused to being handled gently/affectionately it often overwhelms him" way.

Which SUCKS because again he's probably one of the demons that craves and would benefit from touch the most. But once you get there with him, he Never Lets Go. Ever. He's someone who is fine with showering together (more a mutual preening bird thing more than a sex thing) and arguably in the top ten of people to go shopping with because he's already memorized all the routes for what he needs before leaving the mansion and is able to force room around himself in crowds.

Yeah. Birb boy :)

Y e s feeding my Hobo thirst so good.

Firstly, I SO agree with the standing between people to protect others thing. Birds will sometimes puff up to appear bigger and more intimidating, and he absolutely stands tall, puffs out his chest, and holds his wings in a large, aggressive position if he's trying to protect someone and keep them safe. He is VERY defensive, especially of his partner, and he will stand between literally anything to keep someone he cherishes safe. It's not even like a conscious thing, it is FULLY subconscious and done purely on instinct. Teeth barred, chest puffed, wings spread, ready to attack or defend in any way he can. He can be an aggressive birb. You are also right about the aura thing, poor birb :( He views himself as the protective attacker because he knows it's bad for people to get close to him. I like to think at this point in my canon he can consciously dilute or shut off the aura though so he can be more relaxed.

Then, CUDDLES!!!! You are so right fam. Firstly, he is SOOOOO touch starved. In my canon he had only been close to one person before coming to the mansion, and it was a purely platonic caretaker, so he's not used to being touched at first. When you (as a friend but mostly a partner) start touching him, you have to go so slow at first. The first time you even brush past him he is JUMPING, wings fluffed out, scared and falling back. It's instinctual, and he's just not used to it. Once he IS used to it though, he cannot keep his hands to himself. He wants to be all over you, absorbing your warmth and presence and attention like a sponge. He loves it most when you're on top of him, just smothering him with your body, him on his back with his wings curled around the two of you. Don't worry about crushing him, he loves the feeling and you won't actually hurt him. Lovingly stroke his wings while you're doing it??? He's happily chirping and just melting beneath you, in absolute heavenly bliss. You're also so right about the showering thing. You already help him with his pin feathers when it's molting season and just when he has a hard time cleaning them, so he HAS to help you. Like genuinely I think he gets so nervous and anxious if you don't let him help you somehow. Let him brush your hair, help you with a skincare routine, wash your hair and body in the shower. It's purely non-sexual, just a bonding behavior that reinforces that you're his mate and you love each other.

And also you're so right about aquariums and botanical gardens. He does love amphibians, but he just really likes all animals. He feels so at peace, outside in nature, enjoying the breeze and watching the birds flying, animals scurrying about. He could spend hours at an aquarium watching all the fish swim around. It just fills him with this childlike wonder watching the world pass by naturally :)))

Man I love the birb man so much <3

[sunshinereddie]

going a little insane thinking of a non-pennywise au there the losers never separate and they do grow up together but richie and eddie never get together because eddie is never able to accept his own sexuality and richie never acts on his feelings because "i have a crush on you, but i don’t want to tell you that, so i’m going to push you away. but man, if he made the first move, that’d be the best thing ever" (bill hader i'll kill you myself) and so they grow up as best friends who love each other in more than a best friend's way and never knew that the feeling is mutual.

and so they grow up and live as adults and one day eddie tells the losers all about his new girlfriend, myra, and richie dies a little on the inside, but he plays the part of supportive friend and tries to pretend that he doesn't hate myra from the moment he meets her.

but then a few years go by and now they're engaged. richie is of course invited to the wedding and of course part of the wedding party, even though in these past few years richie and eddie have grown a little apart. something about eddie thinking that richie had changed, he always seemed a little standoffish these days, but eddie never connected the dots that he only acted that way when myra was brought along. he never connected the dots that richie only acted that way because he didn't know how to handle the fact that the love of his life was in love with someone else. but eddie was getting married- this was supposed to be the best day of his life, of course he wanted richie there, even though myra didn't.

even when richie is acting weird at the wedding, eddie shrugs it off. god knows he has more important things to worry about than richie being moody in the corner. for example, he has to make sure that each and every table centrepiece is placed perfectly, god forbid a tulip is out of place or myra would have a meltdown. he has to double and triple make sure that the catering company is making the correct menu, because god forbid myra doesn't get her gluten-free, low carb, zero-sugar dinner.

and he has to try his best to ignore the feelings of doubt burning in his stomach. a feeling of... should i be doing this? he's sure it's just normal wedding nerves.

until richie finds him in his dressing room. they begin to chat, and as richie starts to ramble on about their childhood, reminiscing on the "good old days" and talking about how he can't believe they're both grown up now, eddie can smell the alcohol on his breath. he also realizes that this is the first time they have been alone in a while, and eddie finds it almost... awkward. he had spent a majority of his life loving richie, and even more time trying to pretend that he didn't. he wasn't even sure that he had stopped loving richie, just that he had done a very good job at pretending. but he loved myra now, and besides, him and richie never would have worked out.

that is, until richie lets out a laugh that sounds more dejected than joyful, and eddie's heart sinks as richie says, "i can't believe you're actually getting married. you know, i've never told anyone before, but i actually had a crush on you when we were kids."

eddie's frozen. surely richie didn't just say that, he must be hearing things wrong, but he can't muster anything up except a weak "what?"

richie shrugs casually, as if he hadn't just dropped the biggest bombshell of eddie's life and repeats, "yeah, man, we were probably 13, 14. i had a little crush on you. you know, just one of those little kid crushes. it wasn't a big deal. anyways, it's crazy that you're getting married now."

oh, except it was. richie said something more, but eddie wasn't listening, not when richie let out a tipsy laugh or clapped him on the shoulder or when he left the room. all eddie could think about were those words:

i had a crush on you.

from those words, all eddie could hear was he liked me. he liked me back. it wasn't one-sided. i wasn't crazy for thinking maybe he could like me too. but it's too late. it's too late. it's too late.

eddie looks at himself in the mirror. he's wearing the suit he had specifically bought to get married in. he's wearing the tie that myra had picked out for him. he's wearing a boutonniere of the same flower from the bouquet that his soon-to-be wife would be walking down the aisle with.

and all he can think about is richie tozier. all he can think about is how the person he had loved his entire life, had had feelings for him too. and maybe, just maybe, if eddie had acted on his own feelings fifteen years ago, that things could have been different.

the door opens. it's bill, his best man, letting him know that it was time. "you ready?" bill asks. eddie isn't, but he nods.

because it's too late. it's too late.

[susiecarter]

For your consideration, but feel free, of course, to ignore:

Misunderstanding Kryptonian ritual combat leads to accidental marriage: Bruce, post JL, encounters an AU Clark and they fight [for plot reasons. Maybe Bruce thinks this Clark is a threat or other misunderstanding]. When Bruce defeats him, the AU!Clark kisses him and tells him he'd accept the proposal if he could stay in his world, that he'd be so happy to find such a strong husband… and then he disappears, and Bruce and Clark have to deal with the inherent awkwardness of remembering that Bruce DID defeat Clark, so they're kind of married, and perhaps Clark has some kind of, like, epigenetic Kryptonian cultural feelings about that.

:D :D :D :D :D I could never ignore this, anon, HEARTS IN MY EYES—I'm so weak for Bruce and Clark having accidentally married each other by Kryptonian standards, love love love it, and with this idea in particular, I ESPECIALLY love the idea that Clark's been having epigenetic Kryptonian feelings, ever since Bruce defeated him in BvS, and just hasn't understood why; he didn't think to ask the ship or anything, because he thought it was just him being weird and preoccupied and maybe a little bit kinky in a way he didn't really want the ship to know about, you know? :'D Or even, like, being defeated led him to imprint on Bruce's body chemistry and/or pheromones (something along the lines of cherryfeather's truly excellent fic i'd tell them put me back in it, which you should read if you have not read it before!), gave him the foundations of a soulbond that hasn't been completed, but he's been interpreting it as him having a big stupid obsessive crush he's not handling very well ...

... and then this AU!Clark shows up, his Krypton never exploded = he was raised Kryptonian but still born naturally = he, like Clark, retains the genetic capacity to experience Kryptonian marriage The Old Way because it wasn't shut off! And maybe he's never been to his own version of Earth, maybe he's losing it kind of like Zod did in Man of Steel—disoriented, reeling from suddenly supersenses, no control over the powers he abruptly has, WHATEVER, and Bruce ends up being the one to subdue him; and once Bruce has him pinned, AU!Clark just relaxes into it in a way that's weirdly striking in and of itself, and, exactly as you say, ends up making it inescapably obvious what just happened by traditional Kryptonian standards, kissing Bruce but unable to accept his proposal because he has to get back to his own universe, he would be lucky to have such a strong husband (and then, you know, back in his own universe he's primed to marriage-bond with his own Bruce, whom he now REALLY wants to find :D).

And *waves hands* Clark goes to the ship afterward, suddenly FULL of all the questions he hadn't known to ask before, only to, like, find Bruce already there—Bruce standing there, locking eyes with Clark, asking the ship how exactly Kryptonians have traditionally married each other, the extremely revealing explanation being given step by step, and maybe BRUCE has been feeling it too, even, didn't know what it was except his own obsessive preoccupation with Clark's everything continuing to get the better of him? And it's me, so the ship could probably undo it for both of them, and they have to figure out how to admit neither of them wants it undone, asking the ship how to complete the marriage bond instead, learning the answer and doing it right there (maybe it's fucking! maybe it's something else, some ritualized physical contact or something, and THEN they fuck, idek!) and everything is beautiful and nothing hurts. :D

*clears throat* SO YEAH. If I do write this, anon, I will blame you for it and thank you for it in equal measure, haha—bless you, sorry if I took that in a different direction than you were hoping, and please by all means feel free to drop any more concepts that occur to you in my askbox anytime! ♥♥♥

[shallowseeker]

DEAN: *is all watery-eyed and weird when cas dies the first time*

CAS: *returns and is very, very Cranky (TM) and yelling at everyone*

Instead of being happy, relieved, or appreciative of one another's fighting spirit outright, they fall into a pattern of fighting and banter. They're full of fear, fatalism, and their own discordant Hail-Mary-style ideas.

And they disagree with each other. Their fear, in general, manifests in being short with one another and hilariously calling each other's plans stupid.

They're very immature and ill-equipped to handle caring about each other, basically. It's kinda cute.

They could say "thank you," or "I'm glad you're okay." Instead? Cas flies out of the gate, bossily laying into them about needing to be more careful. Later, he arrives at the hospital and calls the plan of fighting Lucifer stupid.

When Dean responds that Cas's plan is even stupider, Cas tells Dean that he wasn't worth rebelling for at all because he's a failure and should shut the Hell up.

Glorious.

There's so much Weird tension getting in the way of what should be a renewed brother-in-arms-friendship. It should be simple, a hearty hug between friends, some thuds on the back—you know, a simple "we made it, brother!" style of camaraderie.

Instead, they're weird about it.

///

And while Dean is usuallyweird (he's a weird, word-vomitey guy at heart), he's being epically weird in 5x03.

I'd say he's being even weirder than Cas is at times, and not just about his nervousness surrounding personal space.

It's everything.

It's even played for laughs a little bit. Cas says a lot of weird shit to the cop, and then somehow gains the cop's trust anyway.

Right after this, the cop calls Dean out, but not Cas.

"Uh, no, Kolchak."

In the end, Cas winds up having the advantage in this bizarre exchange. In a surprise twist, the officer has responded better to Cas's frank honesty than to Dean's sarcasm and indirectness.

///

But anyway, it's no wonder Dean's being odd. Man's Hella stressed.

Per the conversation with Sam at the end of 5x01, Dean is barely hanging in there. "He's trying." But he's also feeling the weight of his own fatalism. "I'll fight, but we haven't got a snowball's chance in Hell of winning."

And I personally think he's still anxious post-Cas's first death.

That's a frightening thing to contend with, that one of your strongest, "seemingly invincible" Superman allies can die. It rocks the tenuous stability beneath your feet, so to speak.

Here's the strangest thing: Cas asks Dean to go on a mission with him. But even after Cas straight-up tells Dean no angel would dare harm him, Dean assumes that they're both going to die anyway.

...

I think this speaks to Dean's issues focusing. His anxiety must be through the roof, because he's usually so good at hanging on to details like that.

There's also his guilt surrounding Cas facing Raphael alone the first time. And it's coming out this way.

This time, he's automatically cast himself in the role of being there alongside Cas, dying alongside him.

It's not until later that his denial falls away and the truth catches up to him, that Cas means to die alone:

Cas repeats himself, that the archangel wouldn't dare harm Dean:

This is not a revelation.

Cas told him as such right off the bat. But like in the scene with Chuck, Dean's brain prefers to dive straight into denial.

It's interesting for a character like Dean. He's VERY used to losing people, but with Cas, there's a creeping denial and disappointment clouding the whole thing.

There's probably already a crush there... it's coming out in watery eyes and hilarious ADHD-word vomit (Thelma-Louise, fussing about personal space and then getting into his personal space, Bert-n-Ernie-are-gay, last night on earth) because Dean doesn't know what to do with it.

He doesn't know how to handle the confusing mix of feelings. He had a lot of them when Cas died the first time. Now, where can that energy even go?

The face journey he goes on as he realizes Cas is expecting to die... again.

It's a little sad, tbh.

///

And then later, when they face off against Raphael, facing him together as Raphael enters "their" kitchen, Dean's fears all come out as jokes and banter again.

It's his preferred defense mechanism against strong emotions. He's worried, but he can't show it.

///

Another thing.

I think it's neat that they're squatting in this cute, dilapidated house.

Raphael appears in a kitchen, recreating the circumstances of Cas's first death in Chuck's kitchen.

Some other cute details about the house they're chosen. Dean has his usual cooler, but here he's put it near the hearth of the home, one of his motifs. He acts as bait, drawing Raphael nearer while Cas moves to attack him.

But the specter of the hearth is still meaningful.

And while Dean distracts Raphael, they lure him deeper into the home, a space they're controlling together.

And still, they banter. Cause they're immature and adorable.

DEAN: "Don't look at me it was his idea."

Aside// The lantern and the beer bottles.

Here, we get another glimpse of their symbols. For Cas, it's this dark lantern on the table; it's been on the table "with him"on his side" since the very beginning of squatting in this house.

It symbolizes both Cas himself and this concept of Dean waiting for him. "Where have you been?"

The fact that this lantern is OUT is a callback to Cas's death, and a nod to his current fatalism.

///

Actually, the house they're squatting in IS pretty cute. The table they sit at together is cute. Here we have the two of them, mutually aching over their absent fathers... and reeling over the painful, complicated brokenness and betrayals with their respective brothers (Raphael, Sam).

The inside of this house is "dead and dusty," but there's new growth just peeking into the window. Greenness. Renewal.

This living room, where they're spending time together, also contains important Dean-Cas symbols: empty chairs, lanterns, and an unlit hearth.

While the two of them are trying desperately to fix their respective families, they're automatically carving out their own living space together, instinctually, almost without knowing or trying.

It's also funny that we see some of the strife that will color their relationship. It looks like Dean wound up doing a lot of waiting around, and he's irritated about it.

Note the prominently lit empty Cas-chair. While Cas runs off to do his suicidal Heaven errands, Dean waits up for him in a room with a hearth and a conspicuously placed lantern.

Cas appears in front of the stairs. Later, these stairs will be prominently lit by the only lit lantern in the entire house.

///

Here we go. Dean and Cas return to face off against Raphael in the house they've come to bond in—in a home they control. Now, the stairs are highlighted by a homey, welcoming light.

It's the only lantern on.

It leads upstairs to the bedroom, or it's a nod to "Heaven" if you prefer that reading.

But it seems to me that this light is conspicuous like, despite the storm and the power outage, these two are carrying a secret torch for each other, a nascent longing to cobble a life together.

Raphael's pyrotechnics are exploding all the lights except this one, after all. Perhaps the lighted stairs represent them as a Heaven-Earth unit, Heaven + home, the one who guards the door + and the one who lights the hearth:

///

And goodness, some of these images are lovely.

Raphael breaks the window, letting the storm into the little nook they'd carved for themselves.

The lantern and the beer bottle.

That's their table!

It's funny. It's almost like they instinctively gravitate to trying to fix/rebuild a home when they're together. They naturally want to fall into this weird... rhythm of life.

It's maybe a bit spooky for them, it maybe unnerves them, and they don't know what to do with that. They've both got so much baggage with their respective families that they mostly try to ignore it, and they get pissy and short with each other as a result of ignoring it and circling this...

...confusing thing.

[heartbeatbookclub]

I know you’ve stated that Sayori is the best with kids, but what about the other dokis?

Sayori is, as mentioned, the best: I think Sayori just has a lot of traits that just make her great at handling kids; she's patient, compassionate, likes to make others smile, and she's not afraid to look like a complete dork in front of others. She's happy to get silly; it's one of her favorite activities. I've mentioned before that Sayori feels like an only child who really, really wanted siblings, and this is very much on display here.

Sayori's silliness stands in contrast to Monika, whom I think would probably do great with kids as well, just in a different way. Monika very much feels like an older sister type figure; I think she's very nurturing and tolerant of children around her, but she's also a bit of a stick in the mud. The type to participate loosely in games, but very much as a grown-up entertaining a child, and not as an active participant. She's also the kind of babysitter kids get crushes on. She has a knack for conflict resolution, very naturally able to get kids to settle down. This isn't to say she's perfect or anything (I feel like she'd probably get in her own head about it a lot), but she's mostly doing fine.

Yuri's a bit of a peculiar case. I feel like she'd like being around kids, and enjoy the thought of having a little sibling, but she'd also be a ball of anxiety the whole time. I feel like if you asked Yuri to actively care for/entertain a child, she'd try way too hard to please and end up coming off as really awkward and weird. She'd also be pretty bad at breaking up fights and struggle if a kid was rowdy or rebellious. But if a child just happens to be in a room with Yuri, and she's just like, in the same space, reading, I feel like kids would just naturally gravitate towards her, and she would actually really enjoy it. She's the kind to just quietly smile if a child makes eye contact with her in public, and maybe silently play a little with them, before the kid's parents realize what's happening and immediately apologize for the kid bothering her (which she may or may not get the words out in response that it's totally fine, depending on the situation) If she's thinking about it and about the responsibility of dealing with a child, she's trying to do everything at once and seriously struggling. If she's just in a space with a child, maybe just watching a child while the parents are quickly running an errand, she does fantastic.

I feel like Natsuki is the type that agrees with the sentiment "I don't want kids, I don't want to be around kids, but if there's a child in front of me, I'm not going to be a dick about it." I feel like for a myriad of reasons, Natsuki would not be eager to have a child or take care of a child, and she'd probably have a lot of flippant reasons to give offhand for not liking kids, but if she has to be in that situation, she'd actually do pretty well. She's not as all-in on the silliness as Sayori, but she likes goofing around with kids. Probably has a lot of slips where she swears in front of said kid. I don't think she'd consider herself a very good role model...nor would she necessarily be a very good role model...I think Natsuki is also petty enough to beef with a child. I think, in a hypothetical "the dokis have a kid" scenario, Natsuki would be the cool mom...maybe more like the cool aunt. I think she'd describe herself that way.

Overall, I think they're all pretty good with kids, but Sayori's just got that touch, yknow?

[emphasisonthehomo]

OOh, i like streamer au!

First question: how did Tommy begin to stream?

Second question: does tommy recognised Buck from the chat? Maybe he has an inkling given by an unique turn of phrase or a weird word he is the only one to use.

third question: how does Buck recognising him change their first meeting and their date?

Fourth question: which is your favourite part? What didnt make the cut but was an interesting concept?

Obviously, i love your writing, i'm always giddy when you post anew snippet and i don't even watch 911!

Omg thank you so much!!!

Twitch Streamer Tommy

ONE:

I think it started out as a joke tbh. Like one of his friends was visiting and saw Tommy's truly ridiculous set up for it, and was like "Dude you should stream this" and Tommy thought "Eh, fuck it" and did. And it picked up fast and does surprisingly well, so he just keeps doing it.

It's big enough that it's a little extra income, but not so huge that he's a Big Name re: gaming streamers or anything. He's got some friends in Europe or something that help him mod the chat. People keep telling him to make t shirts, but that sounds like too much work and he's already fucking busy, so he doesn't.

He does at one point get a 'remove before flight' t shirt at an air show, and wears it on a stream one time and takes it off before takeoff, and people go fucking nuts.

TWO:

I think Tommy would recognize Buck's handle as someone who is frequently in chat and is pretty active, but I don't know if he'd make the connection about the handle name actually being Evan, without Buck saying something. Tommy does interact with the chat a lot, but he is also actively flying while he streams. It's a lot of glancing over, seeing a question, and answering it. In Tommy's mind the chat is kind of it's own entity, instead of a bunch of individual people.

THREE:

Buck hasn't really conceptualized that what he has on Tommy is a crush. He just thinks Tommy's cool. And then he's suddenly being flown into a hurricane by the man, and it turns out Tommy actually flying is somehow hotter more interesting than Tommy playing a video game. Because this is real. This is actually life or death, and Tommy's a fucking excellent pilot and Buck is. He's just flustered. About it.

Buck's trying to find a delicate way to be like "ARE YOU REMOVEB4FLIGHT?" even though they're on the tail end of the cruise debacle, but Eddie beats him to it. Eddie just asks Tommy point blank "Do you play video games online? I think my son watches your show" and then Tommy gets flustered. Obviously pleased and surprised, because he's never been ~recognized IRL~ and the first time he has, it's by a peer because his kid watches. There's something really exciting about that.

I think it's Christopher that tells Tommy that Buck also watches the streams and how it's a Thing They Do Together. (Chris, of course, gets to learn how to play flight simulator on Tommy's ridiculous setup) And Tommy's like "huh" because Evan didn't say anything. Buck is stewing in jealousy because how come Eddie gets to hang out with the cool firefighter pilot and Chris, instead of him? Eddie doesn't even care about the streams >:(

I don't think Buck asks for a tour, he hears about the Vegas trip after the fact and is just green with envy. But I do think the basketball game still happens, and Tommy comes to Buck's apartment to clear the air. Because Tommy now knows that Buck is vaguely a fan, and Buck knows that Tommy knows, I don't think there'd be a smooch.

The added aspect of Entertainer and Fan would make it kind of weird, they're not necessarily on a level playing field (yet). Buck isn't starstruck per se, but he's also not just another firefighter Tommy met on a job. Tommy sticks to assuming that yes, Buck is jealous, but that it's a combination of Eddie being his bestie and Tommy having minor amounts of internet fame.

BUT THEN they do start hanging out, both with and without Eddie and/or Chris, and become friends. And Tommy starts to look at Evan and go "...is he?" and Buck is oblivious because he's hanging out with Tommy and Tommy's so cool and yeah he's got a good ass but it's not like Buck is staring at it a lot (he is) and Eddie is looking at the two of them dance around each other and going "HUH. INTERESTING."

FOUR:

I think it's just a fun concept in general, and I do love it when there's more of a slow burn when characters get together. Friends to lovers is *chef's kiss* and all that jazz.

I did think about including snippets of Tommy interacting w/ the chat, but ultimately scrapped those because it seemed like too much extra stuff. But I think at least once a stream, something like this happens:

Chat 1: so is there a Mrs. B4FLIGHT?

Tommy: *snorts and starts laughing*

Mod 1: no

Tommy: "I'm not interested in women."

Mod 2: dumb comments will result in getting blocked

Chat 2: you don't look gay

Mod 1: BLOCKED

Mod 2: BLOCKED

[mzannthropy]

Rilla of Ingleside Book Club Chapter 12

Well, spring comes no matter what goes on in the world, nature does her thing. If she doesn't, that's when you should get concerned.

Dog Monday is such a beautiful part of this book (still a cat person though) but would the same thing at the station not have happened when Walter came home for Christmas? Good to see Di get a line at least.

I can't imagine what it was like for people at home, waiting for the news. I don't know how I would handle it, with my anxiety. But I suppose I would have to get on with it, just like they did.

Her eyes haunt me.

Appropriate for a gothic heroine.

It shows how tender and thoughtful he is. And yet there are people who send him cruel letters!

Okay, Rilla, but the people who send those cruel letters to Walter don't really care that he brings his mother Mayflowers. The writers of those letters are nasty, don't get me wrong, they're the worst, I'm just pointing out the flaw in Rilla's reasoning. If Walter was not her brother but a guy she had a crush on, I'd tell her she was co-dependent. Her mood changes with his, she gets upset at Susan (Susan was a wet blanket in that scene, but that's not the point here) bc Walter got upset over what she said, she cries bc of him--even Kenneth is not making her feel this way! I've not said much about Kenneth, for now he seems what we'd now call emotionally unavailable, but he also writes her letters and sent her a book for Christmas (I'd like to know what it was) and keeps calling her Rilla-my-Rilla, so I don't really know what to make of him. He's been focused on healing his ankle, which I understand, but if Rilla is unsure about his feelings for her, then he's not making himself very clear. I think it's more the fault of the writing than the character. LMM needed to get the other stuff out of the way first: Junior Reds, baby Jims, Rilla making a resolution to be brave, etc etc. So the romance had to take a back seat, until some of these issues were solved. But that only makes Ken come across as non-committal.

Mean girl bickering over a charity concert during war time proves human nature never changes. What the hell is Olive Kirk's problem?

If I were in Miranda's shoes I'd find some way of managing Whiskers-on-the-moon. I would horse-whip him, or bite him, if nothing else would serve.

I believe she would! Rilla is amazing.

I don't think Whiskers is a pacifist, bc if he was, he wouldn't stop his daughter from taking part in a beneficial concert (even so, Miranda is allowed to have her own views and make her own decisions), I think he says he is a pacifist, but isn't really. He would defend men like Walter who are not enlisting, but he's not doing that. Idk, he's weird. Making movements with a lantern in his garden at night? When it comes to Miranda, it's possible that he just wants to be authoritarian towards her, and would ban her from seeing any man, khaki or not, just bc he could. And like I said in my previous chapter post, he doesn't want to lose his housekeeper. So that's a factor in his behaviour too.

Good to hear from Jerry! And Nan gets a mention too! Is this the most we'll see of the twins in this book?

Generally when I think of when I read ROI back home, the translation was good, except the Jerry's letter part, it sounds way better in English. Glad he's okay.

"She really could not do better for that child than if she had raised a baker's dozen, Mrs. Dr. dear," Susan had avowed solemnly. "Little did I ever expect it of her on the day she landed here with that soup tureen."

That soup tureen was the best idea LMM could come up with!

[curious-shadow-cat]

...

Out of all the characters in HH I hate the most (Aside from Val) I hate Charlie.

She may be nice and caring but it's not enough.

By that I mean she doesn't care enough about other sinners...this is some weird project to Charlie and sinners are her lab rats.

She didn't do shit in season 1, Vaggie and Alastor did. For better or for worse.

Charlie keeps goofing off in la la land while Angel dust is going through hell with Valentino. The one person she's been working with to redeem the most was Pentious and instead of using him as an example she picks....angel dust. The one guy who's been neglected through out season 1 and what does Charlie do? Cries because she got yelled at by Angel dust after he was beaten by Val. For a Princess of hell she sure doesn't act like it at all.

Then she becomes hypocritical to her own belief and starts trying to defend Alastor when he starts killing everybody after Mimzy stole from them and brought them to the hotel and tried using it as a hide out, IN FRONT OF HER DAD, the one person she's been trying to prove to over the years that every sinner can be redeemed.

THAT scene should've been what made him snap and yell at Charlie, being prideful and bragging about how right he was that she couldn't handle sinners and then NOT allow her to go to Heaven because there would be no point in talking to them about redemption when she hasn't gotten a single soul in her hotel to prove that they could change. And then he leaves. This could've been her moment to think about it and then actually take charge and tell off Alastor and Mimzy. The hotel is a place for redemption and no one will be going there if Alastor's going to be allowed to kill other sinners. They could've taken the time to actually use Katie to film that and be like "BREAKING NEWS! IS CHARLIE A LIAR?? Is the Happy Hotel really a Horror Hotel??" And all that. And then she could've kicked him out because he just doesn't care.

What exactly was the point of her going to war with Heaven immediately in season 1? That didn't make sense at all. Not in a funny way either...

Season 1 just showed how immature, hypocritical, annoying and spoiled rotten she is.

"Oh but there wasn't enough seasons--"

No...? I'd say it's the writing mostly. She focused so much time on Pentious, Alastor, Vaggie when they're not even important to the story at the time. This was about Angel Dust and the V's. Who gives a shit about Vaggie's love for Charlie?? LATER TIME AT A LATER SEASON. Who cares about Alastor and his rivalry with Vox?? LATER TIME AT A LATER SEASON. Who gives a shit about Pentious and his crush on Cherri?? LATER TIME AT A LATER SEASON. This is about Dust and what he's going through with Val. It's not even taken seriously.

She also should've just never made it into a musical to be honest...probably should've left that with HB. NOT trying to be mean I'm saying that it wouldn't have taken so much time if there wasn't any musicals in HH....

[mousefluff]

Yes, chef. Yes, ch-- Yes, chef. I'm a cameo character you can unlock later, but no worries. Yes, chef. Whoa! Slow down. There's no rush here. Michelin star restaurant critic is here. This could make or break the restaurant but hey. No rush. Great saute chef. Whoa whoa whoa. You heard Carmy. No rush. Come with me. Do you smoke? This is a cigarette. Take it. Whoa! Nice job smoking. I used to be a chef wunderkind with dreams of my own. But then I suffered a setback-- Oh! Get back! You must not be from around here, huh. In Chicago there are a lot of feral dogs. Like how New York City can't control their rats. That's how we feel about our wild, insane dogs. Their deep dish brains are unlike any dogs you've ever seen before. So what's your generational trauma? Okay, no rush opening up. Wow. Hey. New guy. You're gentrifying this multi-generational establishment. You know, a few years ago, we used to just serve bread. Hey, buddy. Not gonna eat it. Not gonna try it. You're gonna have to do better than that. But no rush. Wow. You got it right in my mouth. Do not rush me. I'm masticating. I begrudgingly admit that's tasty. My anger towards you came from a place of insecurity. I'm also not a good dad. What's wrong with you and your family? Isn't your mom a psychopath? Chef, there's a customer from your past out there who's a nice, pretty veterinarian. I should warn you, I'm a little jealous for reasons that are either sexual or professional. No rush figuring out which. Do you remember me? You and all the guys used to call me Stubbs, but now I'm a sexually viable veterinarian. Aren't you going to ask me about my day? I had to put down 18 dogs today. I just do put downs. Dogs are like rats in this city-- Dogs are feral and dangerous. Hey, let me finish. What's the rush? I love how you push me away. Feed me like you used to. Wow. Is that pas... is that spaghetti? Ooh. Oh, that's good. Do you remember high school? I don't. I just remember you. Dinner for mother. Dinner for mother. Dinner for mother. Hey! Whoa! Calm down. You're overreacting. Why am I not three dimensional like everyone else? Hey, don't go in there. The handle's broken. But if you do whatever. Hey, looks like you're having a panic attack, too. Sometimes you can feel the rush even when there's no rush. Point to three things to ground you. No rush. You're mentally ill, and that's amazing. Nice. That's how you know we're authentic. Only people who work in restaurants know about those. Good job. Huh. Weird. Let's see what's inside. Probably just crushed tomatoes. Whoa! You found all this money? That makes sense, right? We can use it to pay back our friend who's a mobster, which doesn't come up often but is important. You ready to get back to cooking? Bad news guys. Chicago dogs have taken over the kitchen. If we're going to survive, we're going to have to shoot our way out. But no worries. Oh no. You killed your crazy mom. She came to apologize for being so crazy. And now she can't apologize because she's so dead. God, look at her brains. They're all over our shoes. Your mom is gone.

[egg-emperor]

oh my god I can't believe that stupid drama about me being happy to see and hear Eggman in Crossworlds was this year lol. that was truly the last time I gave a single fuck about my presence and status in the Sonic fandom because for a few years I was already being exiled from various parts of it and had my name dragged through the dirt and looking back at how much that crushed me initially actually feels silly now and a bit embarrassing but I guess that proves how much I've grown for the better

but like all that shit about Crossworlds where I blew up the most I ever have on twt was the true big campaign against me that an official send-off for me in my mind, of never being a welcome member because literally every single thing I like and do is wrong to the majority. and the fandom has a lot of people who don't even enjoy or talk about the media and just like fighting and trying to prove they're morally superior and jerk each other off over it and shit

and this is where I was finally truly like actually Idgaf anyway because I've always known I've never fit in anywhere in it and that was the moment it finally clicked with me and I was like wow I hate you all anyway lol (not y'all here I mean the big accs that think they're hot shit that I somehow managed to get involved with multiple times as acquaintances/friends and the general normie population of it)

so then I realized I don't care about it at all and it was never that deep (I still didn't deserve threats, smear campaigns, and victim blaming though) and it's actually just funny how notorious and passionately hated I am by being myself and expressing myself honestly and liking and creating what I want. and embracing and even leaning into it like "yeah I'm an evil fucked up weird cringe annoying pervert, so what" because I know the way I can find humor and joy in it pisses them off is fun :P

I feel more free to say and do and be what I want more than ever because the very last thing tethering me to the restraint and repression that I always preach so loudly against is gone. I am truly practicing what I preach in all forms more than ever, I'm the best version of myself now. I still have bad habits and vices and mental illness but I know myself better and have better control of myself and much more inner peace. I'm just being a weird freak and I'm never gonna be widely loved for it, I'm an acquired taste and that's awesome and unique

I'm not here to be palatable and liked. and the bigger the people I somehow ended up getting involved with, the worse things got because they ended up being vile people obsessed with their own image and boasting superior morality over others and willing to throw people under the bus to keep that image. and they can be very fake acting kind and cutesy and pure and everyone loves them but then they're saying vile shit to me or about me in private. I cut off the very last person still involved in that too and it's bliss

I'm really happy to be as bold about my passion and beliefs as ever because it keeps people like that away from me for good now. the big name people or the general public that can't handle seeing someone being so weird and unconventional like me lol. I'm having so much fun feeling comfort and pride in myself and all the things these people tried to shame me for, told me I should feel awful about, and told me I should hide. I just do it and show it more than ever and I'm having a fucking blast

it feels nice that I've created my own place in this fandom here (and in my Discord server I will reopen at some point I think) and I hardly consider it as actually within it anymore and more like on the outskirts. I was born to be an outsider, I don't care about the in-crowd :P this is also me at my most in-Sonic-universe lore accurate form as I'd be the guy everyone hates just like Eggman for being with him and fully supporting him being a terrible person and I think he would definitely approve of this form of me the most hehe

[all-pacas]

chase md: parks and adams headcanons. Go!

they have no idea they have crushes on one another. bickering and weird pissing contests is just their normal communication and they both enjoy it and think this is normal. i think park is a tiny bit more aware of it as a weird courtship ritual but doesn't know what to do with the awareness that she has a crush on adams, since a) crisis of sexuality b) lowkey conservative upbringing c) would adams even be into her?????

(chase for his part is very aware of what he is seeing but does not want to touch it with a 50 foot pole. you're on your own kids.)

they bring chase into this bullshit quite often. he's the unwilling third member of this love triangle, where a: he is vaguely attracted to but uninterested in adams, b: likes park a lot but isn't attracted to her at all c: is their boss and does not want to repeat history with house-cameron shenanigans, so the whole thing makes him vaguely uncomfortable, he knows park used to crush on him, he doesn't want to go anywhere near this. but adams will flirt with chase to annoy park. park will bring chase packed lunches from home to annoy adams. chase hates having employees.

(it has not occurred to him to say anything about this. confrontation whomst?)

adams is a little bit jealous of park and chase's friendship. like he's friends with her grandma! he's met her parents! and park has never extended any such invitations to adams, you know? and likewise she and chase get along fine, but aren't really friends in that way. part of her posturing is just… she feels left out. she's so performative and repressed, and park is so open with her feelings/thoughts/anger. she's kind of jealous. she doesn't realize she is.

general case division of labor:

adams is the main talk to patients person. she and chase have a really good tag team smarm system going, where chase hangs back until the patients start questioning diagnostics and their results. he then steps in like oh no i'm sooo sorry about my employees [doing the exact same things as them], or he'll play up being an ass so adams can swoop in all compassionate and heroic. combining their rich kid manipulation skills for the greater good.

adams is also the main 'bringer of cases' to diagnostics, although she and chase do butt heads over that a little, because she'll agree to take cases without checking in first. often.

park is the objections and arguments girl. she points out the flaws in any approach, acts as general medical encyclopedia for the others, handles basic patient procedures and care. she's a bit of a better diagnostician than adams is, struggles more with patients. not because she's rude, but she's still a bit rambling and awkward when presenting information.

they can get intensely competitive about cases/diagnosises/who the patient likes better/whatever. chase has to spend a lot of time refereeing. or, because he's chase, assigning them different tasks in different rooms rather than telling them to cut it out.

their three year contracts will run out around the same time. they're both intensely interested in what the other wants to do when hers runs out, but they won't admit it.