#they're straight

[clarkes-and-god]

"Don't you want to change into your pajamas? It's 10pm!

"Uh, I'm meeting some work friends for a birthday meal. They'll be here soon, so we can go to the restaurant, since a couple of them drink."

Phone buzz

"Oh, I think that's them! I'll be back soon, Jo, but don't feel like you have to wait up."

"Alright, you guys have fun. But make sure you're, uhm, honoring Christ with your actions, you know?"

"Of course I will, don't act like I wouldn't. Anyways, see you later!"

"Hey, are you Don? I'm Tony, from, you know..."

"WookUp? Yeah, that's me, I don't just hang around outside houses for no reason. And do I know you from somewhere? I swear you look familiar?"

"What? No, I don't think so, I don't really get out much. I think I'd remember too, I've got a pretty decent memory. Where do you think you know me from?"

"Look, you can chill, it's not like I'm going to tell anybody. I probably just saw you in a store one time. Now, if you're not going to have a panic attack or something, we can get in my car and go to my house."

...

[embie-the-buttercup]

The sexualities of Pride and Prejudice (1995) characters because I'm bored and I can:

Darcy: Bi, maybe polyamorous too. Definitelly in love with Lizzie and Bingley at the same time.

Lizzie: Bi wife (husband) energy. Is probably straight though.

Jane: Straight and demi. Do I need to ellaborate?

Bingley: Probably bi with a strong preference for men. That's untill he meets Jane. After that he's Jane-sexual.

Mary: Aroace, my girl only cares about her books, let her read.

Kitty: Questioning. She was so influenced by Lydia that she thought she was straight but after Lydia gets married she realises she is somewhat into women as well.

Lydia: Straight and homophobic.

Miss Bingley: Is a lesbian and only trying to get with Darcy because she believes she has to and also he's rich. Also she's in denial about her feeling for Lizzie.

Mrs Hurst: Just straight. Probably homophobic too.

Wickham: He's the kind of straight guy that did a lot of gay stuff in college while drunk and the next morning he says he remembers nothing.

Charlotte: She's a lesbian. She married Mr Collins because she knew she would never love a man that way and he would leave her alone. She's in love with Lizzie.

Mr Collins: Asexual, maybe aromantic. He strategicly chooses who to be "attracted" to. And after he gets married he spends no time with his wife. He's aroace to me.

Georgiana: Some kind of sapphic, has a crush on Lizzie. She is into men as well, but has a preference for women.

[gnougnouss]

There's nothing more annoying in fandoms that people who take a straight couple and call them lesbians. Like. No you're shipping a straight couple. Straightie straight heterosexual m/f ship. You can either accept that or start to ship REAL female characters but stop saying lesbians when you never shipped a f/f couple in your life it's so fucking performative and ANNOYING when there is so actual few content for real lesbian ship

[arabella-s-arts]

Scenes/Things in Supernatural that genuinely don't make sense to me if Dean was straight:

The confession booth scene.

Sam just rolling with the fact that Dean's siren is a guy while still thinking sirens infect people through sex.

Dean being flustered by several men: Gunner Lawless, Aaron, Doctor Sexy, etc.

All the parallels between Destiel and other couples. (A big one being "last night on Earth" bc how do you do that accidentally.)

Having all the gay jokes be on Dean instead of Sam.

Paralleling Sam meeting his childhood celebrity crush with Dean meeting Gunner Lawless.

The boner Dean got when Cas cleaned up.

Dean gulping after Cas does an impression from a Western movie.

Charlie, a lesbian, calling Castiel "dreamy."

The way Mary looks at Dean and Cas when they hug.

Dean wondering why everyone assumes he's gay, while Sam not caring.

The logic that Charlie can't flirt with guys because she's only attracted to women, but then having Dean flirt with the guy for her.

Dean seeming disappointed when learning that Aaron's flirting was fake.

The amount of time Dean and Cas spend staring at each other.

Dean canonically having an orgy with Crowley.

A woman saying that she knows when someone's pining for someone else to Dean, just for us to learn that Dean was never in love with Amara.

The set design and script choices that lead to a cross in the background while Dean said "I do." to Cas after he came back to life.

Edit: To the people who say I can't use the siren as an example because the siren is supposed to be his brother, and therefore his siren being a man doesn't work. If you reread that bullet point, then you will realize that I didn't put it down as just simply Dean's siren being a man. I recognize that the siren is supposed to be his brother. It's the fact that Sam still thinks the siren infects people through sex, not knowing that it's actually through saliva when he realizes who the siren is. So when he sees that Dean's siren is a guy, he had to assume they had sex, and he does not seem surprised by this at all.

[lotus-pear]

it doesn't matter how babygirl ur fav man is, he will ALWAYS be ten times sexier as a woman

[hilacopter]

conflating diaspora jews with the actions of the israeli government is not okay, yes, but have you considered it's not okay to conflate israeli jews with them either

[thimbleb3rries]

STILL NOT OVER THESE OUTFITS OF THEIRS AHGGGFFFDF

They are very much in love

[petricorah]

scenes i loved from Real Enough to Get Me Through by @marriedzukka <333 [ids in alt]

[wtscallop]

hello here is my post-canon "gordon and benrey meet up again" concept. they run into each other at a costco

[the-stove-is-on-fire]

[Image ID: Two digital drawings. The first image shows Danny in winter clothes looking out over a frozen lake with his back to the viewer. The setting sun is haloed around his head, and trees poke out of the snow on either side of him framing the scene. The second image is a bird's eye view of a poplar tree grove with a set of footprints snaking between the trees in the snow. The White Poplar trees cast shadows across the snow and stretch up out of frame. /. End ID]

I decided to revamp these panels from my Danny May 'Elements' comic and make them available as prints.

'Snow Walk' on RedBubble & 'Tree Square' on RedBubble

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

[spiderzlover]

Rizzing each other up on live TV🔥🔥

[egophiliac]

I love the idea of teenage Malleus hating his new baby brother Silver but slowly falling for him

words cannot express how much I adore that Mal's reaction to seeing a human baby for the first time was "the fuck is this. why does it look like that. gross." (then he immediately got stuck on babysitting duty and the rest is history)

I am SUCH a sucker for that trope of "non-humans being fascinated by normal human behavior", so between that and all the delicious angst going on I was eating VERY well. >:) Malleus being so impressed that two-year-old Silver can walk, because it took him twenty years to stand on two legs! Lilia barging in on the Zigvolts at 2 AM being like "he won't stop crying what do I do"! Lilia trying to feed Silver rats and Malleus being like "...please just stick with what the books say to feed it"! it is all so. chef's kiss.

[wasyago]

i imagine it's quite chilly in the black sea (for the lack of sun and color), so they're wearing slightly warmer clothes now uwu

+ thoughts

[shorthaltsjester]

the mighty nein - critical role

this is a place where i don't feel alone. this is a place where i feel at home.

[hellmandraws]

Not gonna lie, I'm super excited about the upcoming One Piece live action series! It's out Aug 31 on Netflix. I actually think it's gonna be good! 🤞🤞🤞