#theyre staying at our house for like a week

[homestuck--edits]

Hey, do you think you can make a kinsona edit? A mix between Dirk and Rainbow Dash? Where his hair has shaved sides with a lightning bolt, and its spikey on the top with rainbow highlights? He has piercings aswell, multiple ear piercings, a nose ring, snakebites and two in his left eyebrow. He wears a sleeveless jacket with a hood and has chains on his pants. Everything else is really up to you, sorry if this is very long or specific haha. Im alright with anything, but if you want, could you do the edit with the ultimate dirk pesterquest sprite? Of course you dont have to do this if its too complex, and you can change the appearence, id just like him to keep his tattoos and rainbow highlights.

... what tattoos? you did not mention any do you just mean the sbahj one ?

-mod davesprite

[ignorancelive]

landlords PLEASE die horrendous fiery deaths why are they literally doubling our rent and getting past rent control by only starting to document our rent prices after the first half of the increase 😐 kill yourself right now

[ncytiri]

my sister has a friend coming to stay over for the next WEEK... i genuinely might reach my breaking point 🙏

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for avoiding my husband on purpose, like, all the time? my husband (m36) and i (f34) have been married for almost 10 years (anniversary in a few months). we have 3 kids (m10, f8, f1) and he works full time while i stay at home. even before we got married i didnt really have friends other than him, and i always had a hard time finding excuses to get out of the house. frequently, he gets to hang out with his buddies who he also works with, and ever since we had kids he's always going out and leaving me home alone even when hes not at work just to idk. hang out at bars and pretend we don't exist. well lately ive been making time for myself to go out when the kids are at school (my youngest is pretty well behaved so i just take her with me instead of paying a babysitter) and i had managed to get kinda friendly with some of the wives of my husbands coworkers (theyre all members of the same union, so we see each other at those functions every once in awhile). i thought it was all going well and i was having fun and enjoying getting to be social for once, but about 2 weeks ago, the whole family was invited out for lunch (a picnic type thing) with his buddies from work's families. all was going well and for the most part even the kids were having fun, but then my husband got absolutely fucking trashed for no reason. none of the other guys were acting like that, and we've had conversations about him not doing that sort of thing, but he NEVER listens. he's always acting like this, but usually i dont have to see when its in public. well he embarrassed me so fucking much. he was trying to start fights, messing up his clothes, and wouldn't listen to me at all. just in his own world as always. i should've known because its been a decade of this, but i could have sworn it wasn't this bad before. he wasn't like this when we dated you know? so we got home and i was just. grossed out and annoyed. i slept on the couch and pretty much ever since then, i haven't been talking to him. i got a text from one of the ladies saying that a wednesday hangout thing i had been invited to had been canceled, but i pretty much KNOW 100% that it wasn't, and that they just don't want to be associated with me now. the kids don't really seem bothered by the tension around the house (i think its sort of normal to them since hes frequently not around anyways). i wouldn't be near as annoyed if there wasn't a part of my brain telling me "he did it on purpose". i know that's just how he acts but i could SWEAR its almost like he just doesnt want me to have friends. he doesn't want to hear about it, he just wants me THERE at home, watching the kids and existing solely for his convenience. i used to consider divorce, before we had our youngest. but i haven't had a job since high school, and i couldnt put the burden of asking for help on my sisters. they hate him, but i couldnt ask them for that support. and i dont even know what the kids would think, i cant do that to them. but yesterday, my husband brought it up (cornered me in our room pretty much) and asked why i was ignoring him. what if he really didnt know why? i TOLD him, but its like he forgot or just expects me to be "over it" by now. all i wanted was just this one thing, to HAVE FRIENDS, have that time away from being just "mom" and do what i want. he gets to do that so why cant i? or AT LEAST he could put some more effort into being around and doing things as a family? but i still wonder if im being the asshole, for giving him the cold shoulder for this long. he didnt have a happy childhood or good examples for parents so maybe he just thinks this is normal? i never asked because i assumed he knew it wasn't. and he does seem like, disappointed that i wont come to bed. maybe ive been driving him off and that's why he doesnt like to come home? idk at this point, im at a loss. aita?

[definitelynotshouting]

the hashtag about the life series making you anxious while its ongoing is so real btw

OKAY! so my friend and i have been talking about the scarian dynamics in the life series for a while and while a lot of it REALLY hurts me (i have a very weak angst heart) ive discovered some aspects about this current dynamic that im absolutely chewing on.

SO! In limited life there was a family dynamic where Scar was the son of Cleo and Etho, and i can still see that playing out in secret life! Allow me to explain:

In the most recent episode Scar had to do the opposite of what everyone told him to do, so when grian asked him if he wanted to team, his response was very weird and "avoid"ey. Grian brought up MULTIPLE TIME in his video how "scar got really weird about teaming with me" (which to me totally reads as Grian overthinking the situation and thinking Scar doesnt like him anymore)

So anyway, Grian asks to use the enchanter and Scar says that Etho has it and he trusts Etho with it because "Etho is honest". Grian goes to Etho and Cleo and asks to use the enchanter only to find out that its NOT scar's enchanter. Etho says something along the lines of "well I dont know why Scar thinks hes in charge of our enchanter but yes we do have one" which TOTALLY sounded to me like a parent who's adult child feels a sense of entitlement to things they share with their parents (Ex. an adult child calling their parent's car theirs even though they share it).

Etho lets Grian use the enchanter and starts asking him how he's been and if hes been making any friends and the WHOLE interaction between Grian, Cleo, and Etho feels like parents trying to make conversation with their son's ex or something

AND THEN CLEO AND ETHO TELL GRIAN THEY HAVE MORE THAN ENOUGH SPACE IN THEIR HOUSE AND THAT HE CAN STAY WITH THEM IF HE WANTS BECAUSE HES TALKING ABOUT HOW HES ALL ALONE AND HE HATES WHERE HES LIVING AND AND AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Grian also brings up how he asked to be friends with Scar and "he got really strange about it.." and Etho went "yep that sounds about right" and Cleo agreed- WHICH SOUNDS LIKE PARENTS BEING LIKE "oh we know our son still loves his ex and everytime he talks about their interactions its awkward" LIKE THEY KNOW THAT ITS SO AWKWARD BETWEEN GRIAN AND SCAR AND THEYRE AAAAAAAAH

anyway the whole interaction to me seems like Scar's parents trying to welcome Grian back into their lives as part of the family in the hopes of setting the two of them up again because they love them both and can see how silly theyre being with all this miscommunication

do you hear me screaming

-Binge Reader

WOXNWKDNWKDNEKDNKWJDKEK WHEEEEEEEZE oh my gods i heard some stuff abt the scarian interactions this last episode and that grian teamed up with cletho but AKBDWKDNKADKSK THATS SO FUNNY HELP,,,,,,, "that sounds about right" ETHO WHAT ARE YOU TELLINGG USSSSSSSS ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ /SILLY

This is hysterical thank u for telling me abt whats going on AKDNQKSNWKSJDBWKS gods,,,,, i cant wait to hear abt what happens next week this is insane

[your-old-sins-tournament]

12 YEAR OLD OCS; SIDE A

hạt dẻ hạt phỉ [@tboyblogger] (she/her sister, he/him for brother)

theyre a pair of twin beasts, middle schoolers! i have no idea who is hazelnut and who is chestnut i kept calling them both names like that, theyre they/them in the way there are always two kids. these kids are beasts(?) that look like human but with magic and animal ears and tails. theyre adopted by a desi family of wizards so they do witchy spellcasting stuff. their names are in vietnamese cause. well im viet, and theyre kind of a ripoff of a vietnamese early 2000s tv show about a family of wizards (LOL) coming to the human world and try to blend in, except mine is just about the family trying to take care of these two beasts and the shenanigans revolve around them! if i were to continue writing them now i'd probably do the sitcom format, something like old d*sney channel series like wizard of waverly place (wait i think i also stole from this LMAO) or good luck charlie where the focus is on the interpersonal relationships of everyone in the family and how they are to the kids, growing as they learn to take care of them? idk. but this was 2012, i was 12, so i ripped from cardcaptor sakura and ben10 and pokémon or other similar video games to make them into mahou-kodomo shounen protags going around different worlds capturing creatures-of-the-week but theyre all in the back of my head now </3 vote for them if you like little animal freaks that would crawl on the floor chewing furniture and bite each other then cry to mom

Excavator [@enjoliquej] (he/him)

Behold, a mere mortal man, born with the name Excavator, destined to become part of one of the most fantastical endeavors known to man: Archeological Excavation.  Being gifted with a genius and brilliant name as Excavator, and having a career that shared the same name gave him some trouble with introductions.

A bold and thoughtful quote from our hero:

"My name is Excavator, and I am an excavator."  --  Excavator

Follow Excavator, the world's WORST and luckiest archeologist as he embarks across the world to different locations that his 12 year old writer was learning about in history class. Watch as his boss constantly fires and re-hires him on account of Excavator's stupidity and luck at finding rare artifacts. Embark on his first adventure when he accidentally hurled himself into a tar pit from clowning around and found the Rosetta Stone buried deep beneath. Join him on his trip to China where he gets thrown into a basket and is forced to float the Pacific Ocean for days until he discovers ancient Chinese scrolls hidden in the basket with him, narrowly escaping being fired by his boss yet again. Follow him to India where he believes he traveled to the 1800s and is mistaken for a butler and cleans precious furniture with bleach which ruins everything until he realizes he was just staying at some guys house the whole time and he didn't time travel to the 1800s.

All this and more on The Silly Adventures of Excavator, The Indiana Jones Wannabe!

[wolftozier]

extremely niche field hockey losers club au taken entirely from my experience playing field hockey as a teen <3

Bill

Centre midfield

Right in the middle of the field, halfway

This is mostly due to the fact that as a kid when i played hockey, centre half was always the position of the team leader

Thats because they have to organize both defense and offense due to being in the centre. and the midfield

Surprisingly good at talking around his mouthguard

Sometimes forgets to even take his mouthguard OUT when coming in for half time so everyone just listens to him slur about the game for a couple minutes before he realises

Has a couple spare sticks in his bag always so if anyone forgets theirs he lets them borrow them

Probably the best overall player. You could stick him anywhere and he’d thrive

Except maybe eddie and bevs position, lol

Richie

When he was younger richie was definitely a really annoying winger (sometimes called forwards or strikers)

This is because he mastered the art of seagulling. essentially swooping in last second to flick a ball into the goal when not needed

However once he got older and taller he was way too gangly and awkward to shove up field

So he ended up as a fullback. a completely defensive position. which is in fact very different to playing an offensive position like winger

He's actually really good at defence surprisingly

Hes ALSO annoying here but for a different reason

He has such a good hit on him that its ridiculous. Even with a little bit of a windup and he can crack the ball from way deep in defense up to the offensive quarter

Takes his mouthguard out of his mouth to talk. And tucks it under his sock when not using it (REAL THING WE USED TO DO). to do so you have to buy slightly-too-large socks so they fold over at the top so if he doesnt fold them over his socks do go over his knees

Always wearing colourful inners (a type of sock we wear underneath our shinpads bc shinpads are extremely awkward and uncomfortable to wear)

Has to wear a facemask during shootouts and it fits so weirdly around his big head and big glasses

Wears a protective glove on his left hand only (the hand that touches the ground if you tackle)

Takes the original tape off his stick so he can replace it with more colourful tape

Eddie

Eddie plays inner. and will always play inner. (position is also called sweeper, freeman)

This position is just essentially running up and down the field, relatively in line with the ball so you can always be an available pass

Which means eddie is constantly running. running up and down the field (about 90 meters or 300 feet long) for the entirety of the sixty minute game

Eddie also buys his socks large enough to have them fold over at the top but he will not tuck his mouthguard into them. he thinks thats fucking disgusting and yells at richie for it every game

He sucks ass at talking around his mouthguard though so if hes relatively free from other players hell quickly take his mouthguard OUT OF HIS MOUTH to yell for the ball

Wears protective gloves on both hands bc one time richie nailed him in the knuckles with a pass and it bruised so badly mrs k barely let him out of the house for three weeks

Wears defensive shinpads (you can get both defensive and offensive style shinpads) bc he thinks the offensive ones are way too small

Mike

I think he’s also a fullback with richie

Probably stays closer to the goal than richie does

Because i think he’s probably the best tackler

An actual brick wall when he’s tackling. low to the ground, knees bent, everything. and then he’ll flick the ball OVER your stick and pass to richie to get it out of the defensive quarter

Hes only played defensive positions so he has an eye for where players will run to to shoot

He’s the one that brings the snacks to the games. it isnt halftime without a bag of jelly beans. 

Whenever theyre having an offensive-heavy game and the ball isnt coming back to defence he’ll lean against his stick like it’s a cane and just watch the game (youre supposed to always stay prepared but its nice just watching the rest of the team deal with bullshit)

He’ll play kicking back if theres no goalie but he HATES it (kicking back is essentially a goalie without the uniform. you get a face mask and thats it. you do get to kick the ball without the ref calling it though)

Gets bits of artificial turf all over him and he isn’t even running like eddie is. somehow it just all splashes up onto him

Bev

Girls are allowed to play with the boys teams here occasionally (as long as you have less than eleven players- which is the maximum amount of players on the field)

When she plays with the boys i think she’d be an inner with eddie

Shes not the best at inner, she’s just fast

Worlds most annoying dribbler oh my god

Constantly flicking ahead of herself and just begging for people to try and steal from her

She’s really good at getting the ball past people’s sticks and through their feet (which is a dick move bc if it touches someone’s foot the ref calls for a penalty hit. the game stops and all opposing players have to move at least five metres away)

Plays super offensively even as an inner and bill is always calling for her to run back and help defence

Also de-tapes her stick to retape it fun colours

When she plays with the boys she also wears two protective gloves 

Also tucks her mouthguard in her sock during half time

However she will forget to put it back in and sometimes plays a couple minutes of a game before she realises shes not wearing it

Makes her own inners from fun fabrics

Ben

Ben as a kid i think always got put at fullback

They do this to fat kids its why i got put at fullback too

But as he grows into being a teenager i think he ends up a half back

Essentially like bill’s job except without the offensive. Calls out to people on his side to move up or down or left or right. Helps defensively, that sorta thing

Stays super low in defence even when he doesnt need to bc its what he’s used to

And if its a slow game he talks to mike and richie (he and richie like gossiping)

Also has a super good hit but rarely uses it because he’s worried he’ll hit someone with it

Probably the second best at talking around his mouthguard

He and eddie are the only ones that enjoy full-field warmups where you run around the outside of the field. everyone else likes the shorter sprints up and down the middle

He gets a part-time job at the stick-shop near the field and everyone badgers him for discounts

Stan 

Pure offensive wing

Rarely comes back past the half-way line

Has the highest goal-count out of all of them because of this

This was not true as kids because richie used to seagull all his goals like the little asshole he was

stan still high fived him (begrudingly) at each of richies seagull goals though

De-tapes his stick because he uses a special kind of tape that’s a little more lightweight and cushiony

Definitely has a full stick bag with sections for every kind of gear. Has a separate section for his gloves. A separate section for where he puts his uniform. A separate section where his shinpads go.

Always the one bringing the ball bag onto the field bc everyone else forgets it

Also talks around his mouthguard

Not good at it but he’d rather die than put it in his sock

He’s the only one that will replace his mouthguard every two months like youre technically supposed to

[hollowgears]

Same person who sent the other kitten ask, YENNE IS AN ADORIBLE NAME AND YES ITS A REFERENCE, am i gonna tell you what it means? Nah, but, tell your mom shes got good taste :)

Kitties should stay on formula until theyre roughly 1 years old, they open their eyes roughly at the age of 1-16 days and i would say maybe its 2 weeks old? Google helps ;-;

warm bath yes, and all the cuddles, I hope Yenne's living happier now, was there any other kittens nearby or meows/crying? Just double checkin

Kitty update #2

So, Little Yene (or Yenne, the spelling really doesn't matter much) is doing very well! She's gotten comfortable in my room, eats a lot and lazes around all day like any cat would, she's adjusting very well

I figured I should tell y'all the story of this little critter

Sunday night my mom found her outside our home, from the story she told me Yene was under a car and almost run over, and when she was picked up my mom realized she was not a feral cat at all, she didn't run from anyone and didn't seem scared of people

It was gonna rain all night so my mom decided to take her inside, my parents never planned to keep a cat as we already have a large dog, not to mention a toddler and baby on the way- however! I have been wanting a cat for years, and Yene just grabbed my heart so I (somehow) managed to convince the family to keep her

The leading theory is that someone's house cat had her and she was abandoned, because she really doesn't act like a stray at all, she's not scared of dogs or people, and doesn't hiss at anything. She was completely alone when we found her so I don't know if she had any siblings

She is as comfy as a kitten can be, I'd say she sleeps 90% of the time lol, also to the people who gave the advice of a warm wattle bottle under her covers- thank you! It's doing wonders to get her used to sleeping in her bed instead of mine

That's it for today's update!

Want to support Yene and I? Check out my Kofi and even get a cool drawing out of it!

[thephloxbayou]

Im so fucking angry.

I wasnt going to talk about going per protocol but this was so fucking lame it doesn't matter. It was never a threat or a blink on existence.

I went to a local vigil for Aaron Bushnell.

Now, a few things. This is my first time getting to go to anything like this. I have a sleep disorder, and I work nights. Usually activist groupings tend to happen last minute/you find out last minute. I'm far from Boston, on Cape Cod (I've mentioned where i lived generally before hence why I dont mind saying it here), and it's an ordeal to go even for fun. Things rarely happen on days I have off, and if they do, i probably worked the night before or have to that night. I cant take work off, im poor and its hard to get last minute coverage without my job being at risk.

But I found out yesterday about the local vigil. I rested up well before my shift, did it and came home and got very little sleep. But I could manage and that was the point, I could so I should. I had clothes prepped, black bloc even though i didnt expect anything to happen, and dressed for the cold and rain (its closer to 50 today). My phone was at home, my ID and house key in the car, parked some ways away and walked, only had my car key, a water bottle, and a few fruit snacks on me. It started at 1pm but I got there at 2 (lack of sleep plus making sure to eat a good meal just in case rather than run out on a near empty stomach).

I didnt expect a ton, this area is wealthy and white, but I wanted to be ready if anyone of color got harrassed because I have my privilege as a white person. Good to practice anyways. I also felt like maybe the gathering would have more energy, given that it came out that Aaron was a Cape Cod native. Either way, I was prepared to stand outside all day even if the rain that was forecasted was pouring down.

Well I walk up at 2... and they're wrapping up. Everyone (like 45 people) is standing around with signs, but theyre chatting and holding the signs down at their sides. They took a group photo with their signs calling for an end to this horribleness while smiling. I finally managed to say hello to the organizer, and mentioned that I didn't realize everyone would only be here for an hour. "Well it started to rain really hard." People stood around and talked about their anger at our government, and the horrors of whats happening in Palestine, then left because they were cold and it was wet (was listening to conversations and goodbyes. I was wandering on my own, everyone else was with friends). I heard the organizer talking about how he just vacationed in Costa Rica and was going back, then going to some other vacation spot.

My husband was surprised when I came home basically right after I left. I am so deeply angry by how comfortable these people out here are. This is not the first time Ive complained about that, i grew up with a hard life, we came out here on an opportunity, so I wouldnt off myself in the bad situation we had been in, and with his mother's help where she could (he grew up here). Ive never felt comfortable here because these people are living in a different world than I do, and even people who are just normal people and not some rich asshole look at me weird when I say stuff that I consider perfectly normal given where i grew up/class level. You're so angry over this, over the pain the people of Palestine are going through, that you go through the effort of organizing an event, and you stand around and talk about your "anger," and then you LEAVE after an hour because it's a little cold (warmest day we've had in weeks) and it's raining, which was forecasted and you could prepare for???

I havent calmed down. I cant go back to sleep cuz I already took my adderall which i need to stay awake on any regular day with that sleep disorder. I went ready for a fight, I wasnt expecting one but I was prepared, and expected at least a little energy from the group. But nothing. You accomplished nothing but making yourselves feel better.

I wish I could do more. I wish I had money to donate. I wish I had the ability to go physically support activist movement. All just like I wish I could during the summer of 2020. Im constantly torn between recognizing my position and suffering as valid and not a reason to beat myself up for not being able to do more, and feeling like I'm not doing enough and it's just excuses. But I just... cant fucking believe everyone I saw today. I mean yeah, i believe it, i know, i knew, but im just still furious. This is why we're in this fucking position people.

[420technoblazeit]

(this got long sorry)

the crux of the idea is the question “what if sam and dean ran into someone who has only a horror-movie level understanding of the supernatural?” it also plays with the idea of generational hunting, and expands the world of hunters who arent winchesters. its your typical monster of the week episode set in probably the second season. the beats are something like this:

cold open. girl home alone, staying up late. she hears a weird noise coming from upstairs. taking a knife from the kitchen, she goes to investigate. creepy man-looking shadow is up there, tries to attack her. she stabs him with the knife, he vanishes. she realizes that the thing was a ghost and looked like a painting her parents just bought. so she does everything under the sun to trap the ghost. salt ring, metal ring (cobbled together from necklaces and silverware), salt around the entire room including windows and door, a couple googled latin incantations, and a sprinkling of herbs from the spice drawer.

next day. someone knocks on the door. our favorite hunks, sam and dean. theyve been looking for the haunted painting and are posing as art dealers. girl wont sell the painting, says to talk to her parents, wholl be back in a couple days. they cant convince her but none of them say anything about the painting being weird. snd decide they have to steal the painting before the ghost kills her. 

that night. snd are at the house, get to the window of the room where the painting is. see all the assorted protections. door is closed but they can tell someone is behind it in the hall. ghost appears but cant do anything because salt. ghost begins threatening person behind door, person (girl) seems unfazed. snd realize theyve walked in on someone elses hunt and leave. they decide to go back again tomorrow and offer the info theyve already gathered. 

next day. snd at the door again. sam notices some sort of warding/protection symbol, confirming girl as a hunter. girl opens door, snd spill the beans and ask to come in and collab. girl is like wth are you talking about. after some discussion, snd convince her they are not insane and can do something about the homicidal ghost in her house. she lets them in and shows them the setup. its clearly the work of someone who has exactly half a clue what theyre doing, but some stuff is odd. heres more warding symbols around the house and some of the herbs are rare with no real cooking use. she mentions the stabbing/vanishing and they investigate. every knife in the house is either iron or silver. oh, and every room in the house has at least one mega-creepy painting. snd realize that the girl is not the hunter but someone in the house is. they ask about her parents. theyre art dealers who specialize in old paintings, and often go on “scouting trips” snd attempt to gently break the news that girls parents are hunters who probably deal with haunted paintings, but she doesnt want to hear it. she hasnt slept in days because of the ghost in her house and now theyre dropping like six bombshells on her at once. she kicks them out, despite them trying to stay to destroy the ghost. 

i havent got the rest of it properly nailed down but the parents come back, theres a scene where girl confronts parents about being hunters and they fess up. she runs off and snd follow her (they were outside the house). they go to talk to the parents. somehow the ghost gets killed and the paintings still intact (parents genuinely like them). parents promise to never send a haunted painting home when girl is alone and to also train her so she can protect herself if needed. snd drive off and done.

the beginning is definitely better but i kinda ran out of ideas. im pretty sure i wouldnt be able to characterize either sam or dean properly and i also know i wouldnt be able to make myself even begin writing it. also i did not explain it well. thats why i wanted to turn it over to someone else. its rough now but i trust that someone who knows more about supernatural and writing could make it good.

WAIT I FOUND IT. big poggies. also this is a cute idea i feel like ur oc would fit right in w/alex and claire and all of jodie's other kids. there's plenty of spn fanfic writers who im sure woud b thrilled to write a fic for u if u wanted to commission them!

[bitchybylershipper]

okay i have a funny story rn that i am dying to tell literally anyone so here we go

i have this ex best friend that has recently decided that she doesnt want to "have beef with me" in public anymore because i guess me pretending she didnt exsist was like a problem??? (she told me to stay away lmfao what the fuck was i supposed to do) anyway she texted me a couple weeks ago and was like hey im sorry i broke off our friendship i still dont want to be friends and i dont want to see you or hang out with you but you can say high to me if you see me and i was like okay cool ig. then last night i crashed my bike kind of near her house at like fuckin 11:00 at night so i texted her and her mom separately like heyyy i just crashed my bike and i need a bandaid are you home and i didnt get an answer so i just went home and then after i had been home for like 30 minutes the ex bestie texted back saying sorry were not home we're gonna be in hawaii til the end of the month. BUT WAIT. then her MOM texts me back saying that theyre in canada and fucking sENT PICTURES.

(i am dying laughing rn at my own story because life is bleak and this is some level ten drama queen shit on the ex besties part)

i did not ask for clarification but from the way ive been thinking about it there are two possible situations. 1) denna has no idea where the fuck she is and hath been severely misinformed or 2) she lied to me on purpose because maybe she thought i was gonna like come find her in canada or some shit so if i decided to hop on a plane to hunt her down somewhere i would go to fucking hawaii instead?????

idk if this is as funny to yall but it fucking is to ME (probably because its 4:42 am and i havent slept yet lmfao but fuck it we ball ig)

[gemstone-gynoid]

NJ > car drive 4 hours up to NY JFK airport> airport then flight from NY to Korea like 16 hours > korea to cebu philippines 4 hours > cebu ferry to smaller island 3 hours > ferry port town to grandparent's house on the other side of the island by car ride 3 hours.

then the reverse for all of them as i return home. i do not want to sit in a chair like this for so long again. at the least, while in cebu we stayed in a hotel for a few days and enjoyed being in the malls there while we waited for our parent to do stuff. then stayed at grandparent's for 2 days.

40 hours just in airplanes. 60 hours in total in transit in under a week. not counting shorter taxi trips. americans should enjoy philippine motorcycle taxis sometime theyre great.

pretty much every one is different. but its a motorcycle with attached covered seating.

[b0rtney]

so the things u gotta know is that im gay and i love homemade hot chocolate, like from a square of unsweetened chocolate and some milk and a spoon of sugar kinda homemade. makes a great, protein-rich breakfast for my autistic ass. let me set the scene. i missed my birthday this year because my dead aunt is haunting our asses and it created a mold problem so bad we had to evacuate our house three days before my birthday because the contractor opened up the wall with no real thought for how mold works. so on my birthday i was in a tent, and then about a week into tent living i said fuck this im going to stay with my older sibling in iowa because i really appreciate things like four walls and a kitchen. so i get there, and when my sibling learns i never got a birthday cake they are determined to fix that, bc theyre a sweetie, and hands me a booklet of cupcake recipes and asks me to pick one, so i pick a smores-kinda-guy and they go into the kitchen while i try to work on a timeloop fanfiction for the hobbit.

just as im getting frustrated (audibly, talking to my siblings partner and roommate abt it as they play baldurs gate) abt not rembering the last 15 minutes of an unexpected journey my sibling comes back in like 'bad news gang, we need unsweetened chocolate for this recipe. someone gotta run to the store' and i just throw up my hands and say my catchphrase: thats it! im ggoing fishing! and exit the home and go to my car.

i then return with the hobbit: an unexpected journey on dvd and a tupperware full of unsweetened chocolate squares. the room is understandably shocked that i have a solution to both problems on hand and in my car. and i was very pleased to inform them "i always keep that mfing strap on me. and by mfing strap i mean the extended collectors edition dvd collection of the hobbit trilogy by peter jackson complete with art and maps and the 3 bonus discs per movie, and unsweetened chocolate.

also a vibrator, but thats bc i believe its a human right to be fucked well at least once, and i have that skill and am ready to use it at any time.

[golbrocklovely]

i’m the anon that sent that shifting n stuff ask! so your college experience counts as shifting (like 100%) and i’d love to hear it!!personally on the fence about the legit science side of it, since small things like the berstein bears and little timeline tweaks I think could be real, and ppl having strong emotional reactions are obviously smthg unless theyre lying (but they dont have a reason to really, and theyre living w the stress of what feels like gaslighting to them). but the tiktok -🌟

see this issue i have of calling what i experienced as "shifting" is i was very much awake and living my life when it happened. hell, even someone else i knew said things felt different (i'll explain in the story) so to me, this wasn't like a very vivid daydream or dream even. but i also can't completely explain what happened logically.

okay, here's what i experienced many moons ago, where i think we switched onto a different timeline.

this is super long and weirdly timely so... strap in lol

how i always described this situation to those that wanted to know about it: imagine taking any room in your house. you have all the time in the world to memorize everything about it. the furniture, the lights, everything. imagine i tell you to leave that room for a couple minutes, and then come back. you do that, and when you come back i tell you that something about this room is now missing. it's up to you to figure out what is no longer there. now, it could be as noticeable as a couch or a chair, right? or... it could a quarter that was under the rug that you didn't know about. that's how annoying this whole thing felt. you know something's different. but you don't know what it is.

this was november of 2017. i was in college. to give a brief run down of my sleeping schedule at the time, i would leave for school (bc i commuted) around 8 am, get there at 9, and then stay at school until 5 pm. then i would get home around 6/7, depending on traffic, and pass out almost immediately. then i'd wake up anywhere around 1-3 am, do homework and whatnot and then literally stay up the entire time until the next day at 6/7 pm again. if i was lucky, i could nap at school (bc my dad worked at my university and i could sleep in his office) or if i didn't have homework i could sleep until the next day when i would have to get ready for school.

so it's safe to say my sleeping schedule was ass lol

i just came home, it was a monday. i think i stayed up a bit later, worked on an art project for school, and then went to sleep around 8/9 pm. i remember falling asleep, i remember deciding i was going to sleep.

i woke up around 3 in the morning. that wasn't odd, i usually always wake up throughout the night. however when i woke up, i was confused as all hell. i didn't have a weird dream, if anything i didn't really dream at all, and when i woke up i just felt really confused, like my room looked different to me or something.

i remember saying out loud, "something feels off", and then i went back to sleep. i slept until the morning when i had to get up, bc i had no other homework that night.

on tuesdays (from what i can remember now since this was so long ago at this point), i would have a 9 am bio class, then i would have a couples hours off, and the around 1 or so, i would go to my art class. i remember distinctively carrying a big ass portfolio to school, or into my dad's office on these days. thursdays, i had a similar schedule. the only difference being i didn't have art, i had a bio lab instead that was a bit later than the art class. this is all important to the story.

i go to school on tuesday, take my portfolio to my dad's office, leave it there, and then go to my biology class. class is normal, nothing out of the ordinary. now, to give you an exact date or time frame of when this all took place, we had a WEEK before thanksgiving break. and i knew my professor wanted our last class together to be a quiz or a test. and our break started on wednesday the following week.

and i remember half way thru class sitting there, wondering why she was teaching us all of this new material when we should have been taking a test. class ended, she said "see you on thursday" and i remember almost raising my hand to say "thursday is thanksgiving". it took me a solid 30 seconds to realize OH, i'm thinking of the wrong dates. it's not the week of thanksgiving, it's the week before.

i started walking back to my dad's office and i thought to myself "what else do i have to do today? nothing, right? i don't have any other classes." (to addon, on mon/wed/fri i only had one class). i get back to my dad's office, see my portfolio and go OMG dumbass, you have art. it was literally the only homework you worked on last night. you always have two classes on tues/thurs.

i was very confused, but shrugged it off. however, i want it to be noted that while i can be forgetful sometimes, when i was in school, i really wasn't. i was on top of my school work and never once need an extension bc i made sure to know when things were due. so to be a week off time wise was really confusing.

fast forward a bit, it's time for my art class. the one thing i LOVED about my campus was that we had flowers all over that were just absolutely gorgeous. i'll even insert the one photo i took of these flowers from a month before this event happened to me (also, ain't creepy that it's also from a tuesday??? also also i had to ss this from snapchat lol):

so as i'm walking to class, i have to pass by these flowers. they looked like this ^^^ literally the day before, and i just generally loved walking by them when i would go on that side of campus.

i stopped dead in my tracks. they were all dead.

they looked burned, like someone had set them ablaze. like, usually when plants like these die there is at least some petals left on the ground. maybe shriveled up and whatnot, but proof that they were once vibrant flowers. i'm telling you, they were all gone and there was no petals anywhere. it was so eerie to me that i felt really creeped out.

i went to class, nothing else really happened. i asked my friend if she felt off that day, and she said no. i went home after my class, repeated the cycle of sleeping and then getting up late.

on wednesdays, i had my one class mid way thru the day, so usually i would spend my mornings going to the library and working on bio lab stuff (which would be due the next day). so i did that, went to my usual spot, started working on my lab. i get a text around 10/11 ish by my friend from my art class (that was also in the same major as me, theater). and she told me the cast list was posted for our final show. this was my senior year and this would have been my last chance to perform. i had only perform twice, and really wanted to get in something else before graduating.

she sent me the cast list, and i didn't make it into anything. i was taken aback bc the director, who was also my adviser, had praised my song choice and thought i sounded excellent and basically kissed the ground i walked on after my audition, which is something that she never did before.

and the thing is, i had not been casted before. so this wasn't new to me. but literally every time, i would cry. it meant a lot to me to be included so when i wasn't i just felt terrible, so i would always cry. i remember digging my nails into my palm and tears welling up in my eyes. i remember looking around at everyone in the library, already feeling embarassed that i was gonna cry publicly. i closed my eyes, and took a really deep breath.

and suddenly, all of the sadness i felt went away immediately. like in a snap, i was suddenly okay. hell, i was more than okay. i was… happy.

not to be too sad sounding, but i'm never happy. well, it's very rare for me to be genuinely, deeply happy. especially back then when i was at one of my lowest and most depressed. but i sincerely was so happy, so relieved. i sped thru my bio lab somehow, left the library early, and when i walked back to my dad's office, i was fucking GIDDY. you ever see in movies when someone's in a good mood they point and wave at strangers?? i was, honest to god, thisclose to doing that bc that's how HAPPY I WAS.

i was deeply confused by all of this tho. bc none of it made sense. how did i forget what week it was so quickly and think i was a week ahead? how did i get over the heartache of missing out on the final chance i had to perform? it was like a week had passed in my mind, and that's why my emotions - anger, sadness, shame, you name it - were all gone within a second.

i genuinely believe that we somehow jumped a week in time. now granted, you could probably chalk a lot of this up to me just being in a weird headspace, forgetting things bc stress, my depression, terrible sleeping habits, ect. i get it. i've gone thru all of those scenarios myself, even to this day.

but the ONE THING that makes me think this actually happened…. is my mom. fast forward to mid decemeber, i remember it was when i was off but my dad wasn't, so me and mom were driving up to my university to pick up my dad from work. i was talking to her about my life and school and whatever. idk what we were talking about exactly, but i said to my mom "i feel like something has shifted. like something changed."

she agreed with me. "yeah, things feel really off anymore." i told her that i've felt this way for a while. and then my mom goes, "have you been feeling this way since the week before thanksgiving? bc that's when i started to feel it."

imma be honest, i don't believe in conspiracy theories. i'm not one to jump the gun on shit like this, but clearly something happened. i'm not sure what, but something changed for me back then. and i think it's bigger than just me and the ppl immediately around me. but that's just how i feel about it.

this was very long and i'm really sorry if this was boring to read lol

[floatingonalowvibe]

chapter six, part one

After reading that letter, I had just a moment to think.

I didn’t think of anything in general, but just a moment to sit.

The joint had burnt out a long while ago, but the high was still strong enough for me to feel floaty and light.

I knew Dad was coming to visit the family in a few weeks, so that would be the time I would leave.

Ever since I first visited the North Pole that one faithful night, it seemed so alluring to me, like it wanted me to stay. It was so comforting, the small snow flurries, the faint smell of something I can only describe as a Christmas smell. And the friendlier than ever elves, how they would let me watch their work, and how even sometimes they would let me help. I still know how to make a few trinkets that they taught me how to make. I will never forget the wonderful feeling of the North Pole. The feeling of belonging was always there. The human world could never compare.

I could never forget Bernard, how whenever I think of him, the smell of peppermint and cinnamon finds a way to waft into my nose and calm my mind. His tall stance of confidence, how he would loom over me when I was around him. His tight curls, lopsided hat. I couldn’t get him out of my mind.

I could imagine his voice, how smooth it was.

God, I can't get enough of him.

He's just so.....i don’t even know how to describe it.

His pointed ears, always rosey face with a slight sparkle to it.

I knew it was the drugs talking, but he was beautiful.

~one week later~

this weekend dad was coming over. I have been waiting for what feels like forever.

Charlie helped me pack up a good amount of the items I owned. in total, I had one large suitcase and two bookbags filled. I didnt own much, but a cherish what I have.

everyone was downstairs, Charlie and I were sitting in the living room, him being busy trying to figure out how to fix a CD player he got about a month ago. I on the other hand, was going through old cassettes I had, figuring out which ones I could erase and re-tape for different songs. Neil and mom were both in the kitchen, talking about some boring adult stuff. I know I'm basically an adult, but it doesn't seem right to me. being an adult sounds scary to me.

everything was silent, except the crackling fireplace charlie and I started about an hour ago.

the silence was broken by a rythmic knocking on the front door. Charlie and I immediately bolted for out seats in the living room to the door.

we were greated by none other than dad, who sported a nice red sweater this evening. he looked jolly as ever, with his rosy cheeks, big round belly, and white hair with a matching beard.

"Hiya guys!" he said, opening his arms to give us two a hug. we both have him a big bear hug, which he returned with an even bigger bear hug.

we all had huge smiles on our faces as we walked into the house, Charlie going on a rant to dad about all the interesting things that have happened since he has been gone. I just watched him.

~pretend I wrote a whole dinner scene~

I was back to my place in the living room, stuffed from the dinner.dad and Charlie were sitting next to me, dad helping Charlie figure out his CD player.

I glanced over to the clock that sat above the fireplace, it read 8:30, right on the dot.

I made an agreement with mom that I could leave at 9:00, so I have been anxiously waiting for that time to roll around. And now it was almost time.

I got up from my spot, causing dad to ask here I was going. I replied, telling him I was grabbing my stuff, getting ready to leave.

I made my way up the stairs, walking into my room.I grabbed my bags, looking around at my room. I wasn't going to miss anything.

~timeskip, theyre about to leave~

hugs and kisses were being tossed around as we were standing outside by dad's sleigh. Mom had me in bone crushing hug, not wanting to let go of her son who she loved dearly. I awkwardly hugged her back, reassuring her that I would be back before she knew it. I was only staying there for a few months to see how I liked it there.

Niel was right behind her, giving me a big hug. he was telling me how much he was going to miss me, how well I'm going to do, and reassuring with me that I got everything I needed.

last but certainly not least, was Charlie. he was almost in tears as he hugged me. I hugged him tight, talking him that I would write letters. His hug lasted longer than any of the other hugs.

after yet another round of hugs, kisses, and goodbyes, dad and I were off.

the feeling of the crisp air flying through my hair was amazing. I couldn't wait to get to the north pole.

part 2 should be posted later today.

any type of interaction with this story is greatly appreciated.

go drink some water.

[fraener]

8/6/2024

first time in a long time that i feel like my heart is getting torn in two and so big itll burst at the same time. im so overcome by melancholy i can hardly breathe. moving more things in slowly to my new place, staying what may very well be the last night i ever sleep at my old place tonight. having my heart pushed by sam, slight and hopeful. i remembered this morning while perching on the windowsill that truly the thing that made this apartment special was i was never lonely. i am so, so lonely these days. im frightened ill get even lonelier. the light in the night from the stars and clouds is so bright at my new place, everything cast in a strange purplish glow. it felt good to be back, dear god. like everything is moving again after being stationary for so long. i feel like crying, i think i just might. i got the job at the ceramic studio, my schedule is so overloaded im not sure how to juggle it all. susan would be proud and mad at the same time, i think. theyll tell me i need to stop running i think. i dont know how to live a life not at full speed anymore, like im running down a hill forever these days. i am so incredibly indescribably crushingly lonely. how did i ever get by feeling this lonely i think its actually killing me. i want a reason not to work so much. i want a reason to look up from what im doing at my life. i want a reason for someone to come and peer into me like the mouth of a jar. i miss g sometimes, it feels like a strange dream now that we ever did what we did. everything feels like something im saying in a book whenever i describe the events of my life to myself to examine.

when is life not fiction? fiction makes things tenable. flashes of things like opening a box full of glistening copper cookware and spinning black wool barefoot in the yard while watching the poppy seedheads sway in the breeze and listening to c play accordion. the stunned pause i hear on the phone when i invite s into my bed, the flattened view of the white water tower on the east hill against the greying sky from my windowsill. blackberries and pale apples so wan theyre almost white. indigo staining my fingertips and nails, indigo tied around my neck and growing in cups on my kitchen counter. indigo and saw in my dreams. feeling a little trapped again. i dont know how to make room for my relationships anymore...and ive noticed i dont want to make room for them when they arent giving me what i want. if i lose interest they immediately become less of a priority to me. i feel bad for my fickleness, i feel bad for my inattention, i feel bad for my standoffishness and moods- i try to remind myself that there isnt an inherent morality to those things and i want to be given something to stay for. ive been thinking and not thinking of h telling me we wouldnt be together forever. hes always trying to walk it back since he said it but i cant stop thinking of the fact that he brought up wanting to have kids so many times in the course of our relationship. i wanna let my heart break how it needs to. i wanna let go and i want someone to catch me on the other side. i know i can do numbers in this town, im so much bigger than this place. i am so other in so many ways to this place. i think i should start going out again and i should flirt with strangers and laugh and feel myself. i think i should keep at least two days off in my schedule a week if i can. ill cook a lot again in my new kitchen, i like it so much better than ive ever liked this one. kitchen window! i will miss my apartment more than i can even comprehend right now. already though its begun to feel like everyone is filing out and turning empty. i love doing the dishes before bed or before leaving the house. i love eating breakfast on my porch. i love the walk and bus ride to town. i love my proximity to the forest and the beach. i love the quiet and unsettling hum of the west hill. i dont know where ill go next or who i will meet or who i will love. i wish in some ways it was a cleaner slate, like that first summer here. everything changed and no longer in its place. i had a burning freedom that shifted something deep inside of me. i wish i didnt still think of him as the arbiter of that moment in time, i was my own agent...we were agent to each other. i miss dreaming of nyc. i am still so wrapped in my desire to prove myself. i am so wrapped in my desire to outcompete my rival affection. just another flagstone to tap my toe against as i push off. im gonna go for what might be my last walk tonight. maybe ill try and do the full circuit, maybe ill be too tired. i wish s was still awake. i know ive got to just go and cry by myself though. i dont know who to share my heart with anymore. who can look into this and understand me? it feels good to write something, even brief. it is all bitterly long and brief.