Tumgik
#things are changing at work and in my home life and i'm struggling with both
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to anybody who's sent me asks or anything, i promise i'm not ignoring u, i'm just dead inside
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luckykiwiii101 · 4 months
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Hello, I am writing to you as a 22-year-old girl who managed to enter the void on the night of May 17 and changed her whole life.
I started my void  challenge in December 2021. It was very difficult for me both physically and psychologically. Because I had an environment that was abusive and violent. And my conditions were very terrible. I had an exam that I couldn't win for 3 years, an alcoholic father who beat me, and a mother who never let up on it. I have lost a lot of things in my life in 3 years, but I have never given up on emptiness. If there are people who are still struggling with the gap, I hope my success story will be a motivation for you.
One morning when I woke up with failure again, I was feeling extremely unhappy and hopeless. But an incident at home during the day made me say, ‘That's enough, I'm going to fuck everything up tonight and wake up in a void.
When I wasn't feeling very sleepy- or even sleepy at all- I lay down on the bed. Because I'm afraid to fall asleep. In order of;
15 min Holotropic breathwork
20 min Silva method
10 min Alpha State meditation
After lying motionless for about 45 minutes, the brown noise started playing. It is very natural that there is a desire to move, to be overwhelmed,to give up in this part. Please continue for your dreams. When the brown noise was playing, I used a single affirmation. 
‘I'm simply deciding that I'm in a void.’
I can't remember how many times I repeated it. After a while, everything became quiet and I felt so peaceful for the first time in my life. I had a 30-page document and I said that everything in there would be manifested.
A day ago, when I had nothing, I now have a house on the Mediterranean coast, a black bmw ix car, a Harvard math degree, an online job where I earn 25 thousand dollars per month by working only 4 hours a day 4 days a week (Dollars are very valuable in the country where I live, and my salary is multiplied by about 30.), I have a beautiful face, body and skin. I also showed that I can ride horses professionally and draw pictures. I confirmed that the apple products, books, cosmetics and skin products in my wishlist are also in my house. I have also declared the person I will meet about 1 year from now and who will become the man of my dreams.
THIS IS AMAZING!!!! I’m so happy that you’re now living your dream life 💗
This is such a good example of showing people that they can truly do anything. Thank you for taking your time to share this 💗
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hungee-boy · 3 months
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Our House is Unsafe, Help Us Gain a New Start
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Do NOT tag as #d*nation, #m*tual aid, #p*ypal, #c*shapp, etc.
My name is Ross and I'm the oldest child of my family, with whom I currently live with. Our household consists of me, my widowed mother, and my three younger siblings, the youngest being 16. My dad died suddenly in his sleep November of 2021 and since then we have struggled pretty much every day to keep ourselves alive and housed.
Our house, my childhood home, is a 3 bedroom mobile home built in 1990 and for as long as I can remember, it has always been hoarded and falling apart. Over the past few years, we've made significant progress in reducing the hoard and giving us space to live in, but still this is a 30+ year mobile home that is damaged beyond our capability to repair.
Problems that exist currently in our house include:
No working HVAC
Half of the house has no power
Weakened floors due to water and pet damage
Outdoor siding rotting due to plant growth and water damage
Major leaks in the covered porch's roof, causing immense water damage and mold growth
Drywall, ceiling, and flooring damage (our entire kitchen's floor is just plywood now due to damage)
So many other issues that I've honestly lost track
We, of course, originally planned to slowly fix whatever issues had come up, but our plans changed when we came across a deal to purchase a brand new 5 bedroom mobile home for a discounted price. Not only does a new house such as this give us a safe, secure, and clean place to live, but the additional rooms ensure that all of us have our own bedroom and that we have more space to live and work. Currently, me, my mom, and my sister all share the master bedroom, so obviously the concept of all of us having our own privacy is leading us to make this decision more.
Right now, we currently have $2,000 put towards the down payment for the new house, out of a $9,000 down payment. We are able to make payments early and we expected to be able to put money down every month, until my mom's job fucked her over and didn't schedule her for 6 weeks. This greatly put us behind not just on payments for the new house, but also bills and getting my mom's car insured and registered, as it's now a year overdue for both.
I'll do anything for this chance, anything if it means that my family and I can finally have a home we deserve, a home my dad would've wanted for us.
I'm desperate, we're all desperate, for a chance to live normally for the first time in our lives. Living in squalor is all I've known and the opportunity to escape it is honestly the only thing keeping me going right now.
I don't know what I'd do if I'm forced to live in this shithole another year, let alone for the rest of my life. So, please, if you have the means I'd forever be grateful if you donate. If you can't donate, then please share this. It would mean everything to me.
Links:
[PP] [CA]
Thank you if you read this, thank you if you share, and thank you so so much if you donate.
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mommypieck · 11 months
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𑄽୧ toys with yuuta 𔓘 ᰍ
kinktober day 21: dick isn't enough!!!
✿ yuuta okkotsu x reader
✿ warnings: sex toy usage, orgasm denial
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"Hi, honey. Are you home?" the front door of your apartment opens, revealing your boyfriend Yuuta. He's wearing a shining smile as always. Yuuta is like a little puppy, always wagging his imaginary tail when he sees you.
"I'm right here," you yell from your work office. You're currently on a hunt for something that's going to spice up your sex life. It's not that he's not good in bed… well, maybe it's because it is.
You met Yuuta when he was a virgin. Your first time together was fine, and the fact that he didn't make you cum is understandable. The worst thing is that it never happened the other times. No matter how many times you tell him how you like it, he's just clueless.
"Why are you looking at sex toys?" Yuuta exclaims beside you, wrapping his arms around your neck. You wish he could do that while you fuck. You explain that you're trying to find some toys because your friends told you about them. He isn't too convinced but lets you order it anyway. He can't resist the look you give him when asking for his credit card.
The day everything arrives is anxious for both of you. And when you finally cut through the cardboard box to take out the things, you don't waste any time dragging him upstairs.
"What should I do with it?" he asks you, looking confused at the toy. You're already naked on the bed while Yuuta decides to keep his clothes on.
"Press it against my clit." you groan in frustration. You want to feel something, but instead, Yuuta is scared as always. The toy finally touches your clit, making you jump. The pleasure is good but not enough for you.
"Turn it to another volume." he looks skeptical at your request but does so. These vibrations are better as they shoot all around your pussy evenly. You let yourself be pleasured by the toy, relaxing on the bed.
Yuuta is not having any of this. The fact that you bought toys to replace him hurts. He knows he's not the best in bed, but the way your face scrunches makes him feel jealous deep inside his stomach.
He glares at the dildo beside him, and he almost feels jealous of it. He grabs it, the thought of how you might look once he fucks you with it is more appealing than feeling jealous.
He brushes it through your folds, collecting your wetness on the plastic. You're already soaked from the other toy, and he needs to see you even more fucked out.
The tip of the toy finally enters you, it's a bit smaller than Yuuta, but the stretch is pleasurable. He moves it a little, trying to find your sweet spot. You whine, why can't he be rougher?
"Fuck me with it," you yell in frustration as you try to fuck yourself on the dildo. Yuuta honestly thinks you are possessed, there's no other explanation for this situation. You were always the innocent vanilla girl, and suddenly you're a cock longing slut.
The toy suddenly plunges inside of you, making you scream. He fucks you with it with all he has, his arm already cramping. If you want to be fucked with it roughly, he's going to give you everything. He grabs the wand again, placing it on your clit while he drills the dildo inside of you. You're sure this is what heaven feels like.
You're so close already, just begging for him to let you cum. He's not that easy to convince. You like this toy more than you like his cock, and you're gonna face consequences.
"No cumming." he says as he turns the wand even higher in vibrations. He wants to see you struggle, he wants to see you cry. Your body shakes on the bed, and he has to hold you still. You are so close, you might even get on your knees to beg him to let you cum.
"Let me cum, I've been a good girl." you moan, giving him the best puppy eyes. His gaze softens, and his demeanor changes. He can't believe he would want someone so cute like you to cry. It's true, you're a good girl, and you deserve to cum.
"Come on, pretty. cum on the toy." you cum right away after the last word, creaming on the toy. He fucks you with it through your orgasm, giving you even more pleasure.
"Are you okay?" yuuta questions when you cum from your high. You just smile at him, you're okay and more than satisfied.
You both realized a few things with this. For Yuuta, he might want to work a bit on his stroke game. And for you? That you have him wrapped around your finger, and he will give you everything if you look at him cutely enough.
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taglist: @mcharris747 @huuuuut30 @krispsprite @bejewelledd @cawwn @veryninjanacho @jamayah @dngerwayz @nwptune @universlypiratecolor @ffakegucci @merachannie @d1lf-luvr @th3girln3xtdoor @nobody289x @iheartpieck @gia999 @kawasgirl @st4rrlighttt @candyeyeroll @7haze @banchangsbbbg @nigthmar3moon @softlilpeachxx @d1gitalbathh @jaenniii @armahnsie @satorustar @balenciagarette @erp1007
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ssivinee · 1 year
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✧Forever Yours✧
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BEBE! Bada Lee x Dancer! F Reader: You and Bada were quite a well-known duo within the dance world. You two grew up together and have been inseparable ever since, but as you drifted apart, you met again on Street Woman Fighter 2.
Word Count: 4.8k
Note: Bada has been a simp for you since you were kids. You both have the same energy and vibe. (you mainly dom Bada tho🤭)
Character Vision Board
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For your entire life, dance was all you knew, and growing up with Bada helped you realize what your passion was at a young age. You two met at the age of 4 during one of Bada's first dance classes, and you two instantly became friends once the dance teacher pointed out how much you two looked alike despite not being related.
"Lee Bada, Kim Y/n, are you two cousins?" The teacher asks, looking at her clipboard, then looking back and forth between the two of you.
As the both of you shook your head no, the teacher pouts, "But you two look so much alike?"
Bada then glances at you, standing in front of the class, looking very prideful with a grin. You wore an oversized light blue graphic tee, grey joggers, white sneakers, and a white beanie. In Bada's eyes, you were the coolest in the class, AND she was compared to you?
Now that was a huge ego booster.
Your eyes meet hers, and before Bada can even try to avoid eye contact, you give a wave so she returns a shy smile.
"For the dance today, we will be working in partners, so please find someone to work with," the dance teacher says. Bada's eyes began to wander, worried that she might not even find a partner, but she felt a tap on her shoulder. She was shocked to see you, "Bada, right? I'm Y/n. Would you wanna be my partner today?"
Bada's eyes widen in excitement as she nods. It was the best choice on your end because you two were at the top of your dance class that day. During your next dance class together, you decided to stand next to Bada rather than go to your usual front spot. Throughout each class, the both of you realized you had so much in common and had similar interests.
From then on, you two did everything together. You two, ironically, went to the same schools, which encouraged the time you spent with each other. All the events in your life, like dance club, projects, homework, studying, group hangouts, and dance classes, were all spent with Bada by your side.
Things took a turn in your friendship during high school. You began to be attracted to girls, which confused Bada then. Sexuality became a prevalent talk amongst people your age. This caused you to experiment, so while Bada stuck to crushing on boys, you were already dating and got your first kiss at the end of your first year.
You then went on a vacation to the States for the entire summer that year and struggled. This was the first time you were away from your best friend for so long, making you anxious.
To cope with this, you took various dance classes with different dance genres, and making the gym apart of your stress relievers. After 3 months passed, you were finally coming home, and Bada would get to see you on your first day as a second-year student.
So, on the first day, the tall girl rushes to school to find you talking to an unfamiliar student.
"The new girl is so pretty."
"I heard she's half Japanese."
"I'm pretty sure she's rich. I saw her getting dropped off by a Rolls-Royce today."
"She's bold for talking to Y/n. By the way, didn't she get hotter? What's in the air in the US?"
Though Bada wasn't paying too much attention to the other students, she did get an answer to her thoughts, 'new girl?'
She observes the interaction, mainly you. Your hair got longer, you seemed to have grown an inch or two, and your physique was leaner, with your muscles more prominent. You changed, and Bada couldn't deny how much she liked it, even though you two FaceTimed regularly during your vacation.
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Bada also can't help but admire your outfit, like she always does. Somehow, you looked ten hotter in her eyes at the moment, and she always thought you looked good. As she watched, the new girl's movements became quite flirtatious.
Her fingers would drag up and down your arms, and as she laughed, she would lean into you, trying to balance herself by pressing on your abs.
Your one-man audience began to feel irritated.
That's when Bada comes to a realization when she sees you, for the first time in months, befriending the new girl in school.
She was jealous.
After the conversation, you see Bada and immediately go up and hug her with a smile, leaning your head on top of hers and rocking your bodies back and forth.
"I missed you so much," you whispered to her, and her cheeks flushed lightly as she felt butterflies in her stomach.
"I missed you too."
During your second year, Bada's feelings grew for you, and she didn't know what to do. She didn't want to ruin her friendship with you, and she wasn't exactly sure if she liked girls. So, to ease her mind, Bada began finding little ways to see if what she felt was real.
Exhibit A. Bada 'confessed' to you about her slight crush on Hyunjae, aka your school's biggest jerk.
"Bada you can't be serious right now."
"What? He's sweet, always nice, and brings me coffee some mornings? What's so bad about him?"
"You know better than anyone here that the dude wants the privilege of sleeping with you and will be boasting about it to the entire school."
Bada acts hurt at your comments and once realizing how harsh it may have sounded on your end, you expressed, "Dude your one of the most wanted girls in the school, any boy would kill to be in Hyunjae's position right now. But there are so many other boys worth your heart, just not him."
She chuckles at your joking tone in the end. "Hey, if bringing you coffee occasionally makes you happy, I'll do that for you." Bada thought that was another joke, but you brought her an iced americano the next day.
"A coffee for the best girl in the world," you say as you hand her the cup. She blushes and thanks you with a hug. The following week and the week after, you kept bringing her coffee until it became a sacred thing you did for her every week of your friendship.
Exhibit B. It was Valentine's Day, and you and Bada were getting gifts from many people. Bada got letters, sweets, drinks, and stuffed animals from multiple guys. You had the same dilemma with numerous girls handing you multiple letters, confession notes, and anonymous ones in your locker.
At the end of the school day, both of you threw out all the gifts while hanging out in a dance studio near your school. Bada had something prepared for you though, she had bought you a new hoodie in your favorite color and a tulip she bought, last minute, on her way to the studio.
Once you come in, she hands you a bag, "Happy Valentine's Day." Your heart felt warm at the gift, and you began to get excited, "Wait here for a second," was all you said as you walked out.
'Did she not like my gift?' Bada worried, and as you came in, she was about to apologize if you didn't like it but was shocked to see you holding a heart-shaped balloon, a small box, and a bag. You smiled and gave her the items, "Happy Valentine's Day to my number one."
You somehow knew how to make her heart pump furiously. She opened your gift with a card, a bag of her favorite candy, snacks, and a new hat. She began to read the card but was shocked to see how short it was, somewhat feeling a bit let down.
You wrote: "Dear Bada,
We've been best friends for 12 years, and I can proudly say those were the best years of my life. You make me want to be a better person, and you will be my ride or die forever. I love you so much and hope our friendship lasts a lifetime."
She was about to finish reading, but you interrupted her as she closed the card, "Read the back." Bada looks at you confused but reads, 'Open the blue box.'
She stares at the box, then looks at you with eyes of suspicion, "Oh, come on, open it!" you say with pure excitement in your voice.
Bada opens the surprise to find a small note on top of it.
'Thank you for being the moon to my sun,' Under it was a bracelet with a moon charm and her name. She looks at you in complete shock while you raise your arm, pulling down your sleeve to show her the matching one with your name on it and the sun.
Bada feels a rush of emotions and hugs you, tearing up at the heartfelt gift.
Exhibit C. Bada wanted to test the waters, so when hanging out at your house on the last few weeks of school, she confesses what's been on her mind for a while.
"Y/n?" You were doing some studying but put your full attention on her after hearing your name, "yes?"
"How did you know you liked girls?"
You pondered her question, "I guess, when it came to many guys I had crushes on, I didn't feel a strong connection. To me, girls felt comforting, understanding, and overall beautiful. Then I met Yoonji, and it confirmed my thoughts." Bada's face goes into disgust upon hearing your ex's name, but as you laugh at her reaction, you begin to wonder.
"Why?"
"Well, I've been thinking. Every time I had a crush on a guy, yes, I've had a connection with some, but as soon as I can make it even as far as a kiss, I begin to shut down the idea."
Now that was news to you, "You're telling me the Lee Bada hasn't had her first kiss yet?" She shyly shakes her head no. "Well, no need to be embarrassed. Maybe you just haven't found the right person yet."
"I just feel like I'm lagging behind, you know?"
"I get it, but if you're saving it, that's also okay."
"I don't think I am. If anything, I wanna get it over with."
"That can also be arranged," now that statement piqued Bada's interest. "What do you mean?"
"If you wanna get it over with, you can kiss me. I mean, you trust me, right?" Of course, she did, causing her to nod and like your idea.
At first, her plan was to only find out if she liked girls, but she never thought she'd get this far. Her hands begin to sweat at the idea of the kiss.
"You do have experience, so I guess it would make my life easy," she mumbles. You sit down beside her on your bed, staring at her attentively. "You sure about this?" She nods again.
You delicately rest your hand under her chin, and Bada closes her eyes. Pulling her in slowly, she felt your lips on hers and melted. Your lips were sweet like the cherry chapstick you used. They were soft and warm. Your other hand rests on her waist, pulling her body closer to yours as you caress her face.
After kissing for about 2 minutes, you break apart and Bada looked at you with a slight shocked face.
"Was it good?" You asked concerned. 'It was more than good.'
"Yeah, of course it was." She hugs you, "Thanks for that."
While hugging you, all Bada can think of was, 'I'm so fucked...I'm so in love with you.'
Due to much anxiety, nervousness, and terrifying thoughts, Bada couldn't act on her feelings at all.
After two years, you two had developed a somewhat flirty friendship, and now you were in your first college years. You were both preparing all of your senior year to head into university and majoring in dance.
The process was definitely stressful, but you got through it together. As a celebratory 'we survived high school,' you two decided to get tattoos. Bada has a wave on her right forearm and a moon on her right wrist, while you have an orange and yellow colored sun on your left forearm and a small koi fish on your right wrist.
University was the biggest rollercoaster of your life. You didn't know if you could call it some of the best moments of your life or the most heartbreaking. You two got into the same school, and even dorming together was terrific.
The issue was the rift that was happening in your relationship. You two were doing your own things, meeting new groups of friends, and having drastically different schedules. It got to the point where it felt like you didn't have a roommate.
Well, you barely saw her anyway.
You two became part of a dance crew and garnered many opportunities in the dancing scene. This was the only time you ever saw her around.
While in school, you two auditioned for many background dancing positions, and your journey in the dance world began to sail from there.
After graduation, Bada started teaching classes, and by the end of university, she had many projects lined up for her. She then joined JustJerk, and that's when she began to flourish as a choreographer as SM reached out to her.
You, on the other hand, had begun as a freelance dancer in Korea while making several videos of your own choreography and uploading them on YouTube. As you gained massive popularity, you were getting projects from friends in the States, which caused you to go back and forth from Korea.
You and Bada spent less time together, but you two tried your hardest to hang out and chat occasionally. That was until you started making it big in the States and had offers coming your way left and right. So, you made the most difficult decision to move to the US to focus on your career.
As you worked in the West and Bada worked in the East, your connection began to fizzle until it was no longer a thing. No one was to blame. Your careers were now your priorities, which was understandable.
While Bada gained popularity for her Kpop choreography, she did many lessons and projects and learned from some big-name dancers. Then, 2018 came around, and Kpop grew a massive fan base in the States. You also began to get offers for projects in Korea, mainly from HYBE Entertainment or Bighit, at the time. That's when it hit you: You made it big into the dance scene.
The more projects you did, the more opportunities came. An example of one of your most outstanding achievements was signing with Jam Republic and working with some of the biggest stars, BTS, and the trendy New Jeans. You were on a role, to say the least.
You were working with several Jam Republic artists and got an offer. It was to join the team for their representation on Street Woman Fighter. So, after staying in the States for about 5 years, you decided to move back to Korea so you could comfortably work on Street Woman Fighter with your girls.
You had the liberty of picking them up and hanging out with them 3 weeks before the show's filming. The crew ate dinner together, drank some alcohol from time to time, and even taught dances while they stayed.
The day finally came when they filmed the first part of the episode, where Mnet introduced every team and their members. You got excited seeing big names and saw the most familiar one, Bada. "Oh, she's on the show too?"
"You know Bada?" Audrey asks you innocently, and you smile at the thought. "Of course I do, she's my best friend."
The girls looked at you with wide eyes, and you giggled, "What? After I went to the States, we barely talked, so it never came up." As you continued, all of you had to pick the worst dancers and talk more about the dance styles of each crew.
You chose someone you felt could challenge you out of respect for the dancer's skills.
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The other teams had to do the same thing as Jam Republic, and as soon as Kristen popped up on their screen, almost no one could believe it.
"No way!"
"She's on the show?"
"For real?"
As they continued to introduce JR, you were the last member revealed. Everyone gasps in shock, seeing your face and resume in dance.
"A Korean on their team?"
"She's worked with HYBE? Now that's how you know she's good."
"Run BTS? She did that one? It was a sick choreography."
"Wait she looks kinda familiar."
"She kinda looks like Bada-nim."
When it was Bebe's turn to react, Bada went extremely pale but did well in hiding it. She had kept up with some of your videos and releases during your time away, being happy for you, but she didn't realize that this show was the reason for you to see each other again.
That's when the two of you were starting to become nervous about the next shoots to come.
It was time for all the crews to meet, and as you guys entered your hideout, you were met with a bright pink room.
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When it was Jam Republic's turn to enter the fight zone, everyone was surprised by the scale of the show. Coming down the stairs, you found the other dancers staring either in awe or trying to intimidate you guys, which wasn't gonna work.
You were the last down, and everyone couldn't help but notice your height, plus yours and Audrey's beauty. Many girls describe Audrey as looking like a doll or a baby, while people believe you have a "cat" attractiveness.
Your height was another factor. You stood tall at 5'10 and noticeably towered over your members. Bada couldn't help but keep eye contact with your figure, which worked in her favor since that's what she was known for.
She took in your presence after 5 years and felt as if all the air was sucked out of her body.
While Bada stared, her members began to notice something. Lusher nudges her, "Unnie... do you two know each other?" Bada looks confusingly at her.
"Where did you get that?"
"You two have matching tattoos," Tatter butts in, whispering. Bada's eyes widen a little, then scan your tattoo. She forgot that they were matching couple-looking tattoos. "We were really close till she left for the States."
The two girls move back, stunned at the new information. "How close were you two?"
"We were best friends for 24 years of our lives."
"HUHHHHHH?" They announced a little too loudly that Bada had to shush them. You focused on the video and concluded that Audrey had the most votes as the worst dancer, making you scoff.
"They definitely don't know who they picked," Your arm rested on Audrey's shoulders as you whispered to her. Bada sees this, and her hands begin to squeeze into a fist.
Well, now she knew that those feelings were still there, to say the least.
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Many battles went on and soon, it was your turn to head up. "Next opponent is Kim Y/n!" Kang Daniel announced and you decided to walk around the fight zone. You slow down near Bebe and give Bada a teasing stare down before walking walking away with a smirk that she gladly returns.
"Tsubakill, Yumeri-san, please come out."
Everyone cheers, and as the stage gets rowdy, you hold the mic in your hands.
"Y/n, why did you pick Yumeri as the worst dancer?"
"I honestly didn't think she was bad at all. It's quite the opposite." You turned to her. "Yumeri-san, I know you can give me a good challenge, so let's see how good we are as dancers," You bowed to her, and everyone was surprised at your statement AND that you spoke in Japanese.
Yumeri smiles before saying, "It's an honor to dance with you."
As the music began, Yumeri went first and showed off fierce movements which you couldn't help but hype up.
"She's really humble, huh?" Tatter questions Bada, and she nods. You always respected people no matter what. Bada knew exactly why you chose Yumeri.
Yumeri is a hip-hop-based dancer who knew her body, which results in powerful movements. Bada knew you picked the woman to show off an entertaining battle, not a one-sided one. When the music switched, you grooved a little until the base dropped and you pulled out some krumping and locking.
Everyone is shocked, as none of the dancers necessarily excelled in that area of dance, well, other than you. You then contorted your body and twisted as you lay on the floor, and everyone went wild.
In the corner, Bada's jaw dropped. Sure, she kept up with your videos, but she never imagined that this was how good you got over the years.
Once your battle ended, it was time for the judges to vote. All of them pulled out the Jam Republic card, and you bowed. Monika picks up her mic with much evident excitement.
"KIM Y/N! Whaaaaaaa~ You truly are a different talent. This battle was one of the best ones I've seen by far. We have many gifted dancers here, but you showed us something unique today." You and Yumeri bowed at the high remark and hugged each other to conclude your battle.
After a few matches, it was time to have a break. You had to use the bathroom and decided to freshen up there and as you were about to return to the fight zone, you see a familiar face heading out her hideout.
"Well isn't it the famous Bada lee."
She turns her neck fast due to the shock and sighs once she sees you. You hug her while rocking side to side.
"Don't you feel some deja vu?" You joked, and she smacked your arm lightly. "I missed you," Bada confesses as she holds your hand.
"I missed you too," you stared at her with caring eyes. As she looked at you, she began to tear up, and before a tear fell, you wiped it away with your thumb. "I regret not keeping in touch."
"I also didn't put in the most effort Bada, you aren't the only one to blame."
"God," Bada whines and you smile. "How about after this we hang out? If you give me my number I'll text you my address?"
"I'd be honored 'Mother of HYBE,' she teased. You chuckled and exchanged phone numbers, immediately texting her your address.
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When all the groups were about to leave, you peep Bebe, getting ready to go. "Hold up a minute. I'll meet you guys at the van."
You begin to hear "ooooohhhhhh~~~" as they see you making your way over to Bada and you roll your eyes. "Bada-nim!"
Bebe looks over and begins giggling at your interaction like cute school girls watching a drama. "I'll see you later?"
"Yeah, of course," you give another hug that caresses her waist and wave off. Bada then gets teased by her younger members.
"Yahhhhhh~ did you see her hand movement."
"Unnie! You're literally the best. Find me a woman like that too."
"Whaaaaa~ that's our leader."
"Dude, I don't know if I wanna be her or be you."
Bada's face turns bright red and her members burst in laughter once again.
Once you made it home, you decided to shower and prepare a bit. You decided to wear some checkered pajamas and a cropped tank, then began to cook some food.
As you weren't really expecting a guest so early on, your fridge didn't have too much food due to your busy schedule, but you were able to make some shrimp alfredo pasta and took out some soju bottles you had from the JR girls.
You finished up, heard the doorbell ring, and saw Bada wearing a matching set consisting of a cropped sweater vest, a crop top underneath, a navy blue tennis skirt, and some black timberlands.
"Wow~ you look good. Now I feel underdressed," you joke but realize she was wearing the hat and bracelet you gifted her in high school. You let her enter and point it out.
"You still have these?" You asked as you lightly flicked it down then grabbed her wrist, and all she could do was smile. "I cherish them too much to throw it out."
"Don't you still have yours?"
"Yeah but I rarely wear it nowadays."
"Why?" Bada was hurt, but she pouts when you say, "I didn't wanna lose it when I moved to the States, so I kept it in the box. It's in my room right now. Hold up." After a few minutes, you go into your room and come out with the bracelet on your wrist, "See?"
Bada's move was instantly uplifted again, but her attention shifted to food because she was hungry for so long.
"Holy shit, did you make this?" She asks, settling down at your dining table. She takes off the jacket and hat, showing off her two-toned hair. "Of course, try it first before you compliment me too much."
She digs in and moans at the taste. "Good?"
"Good? This is amazing."
You two talked ate and chatted a bit about work, but after a while, you guys moved to the couch and started drinking.
"I can't help but ask, how's your love life?"
"I did some dating here and there in the States, but they never got too serious," you say as you take a shot. "What about you? No one special in your life?"
"My special person left me for the States," Bada joked with a pout, and you giggled. "In all seriousness though, I dated a bit, and my last one was a bit serious, but we didn't work out. She got a bit crazy on me nearing the end."
"Damn crazy?"
...
"Wait, did you say she?" You looked at her in dismay. "Yeah, I may have figured out I liked both guys and girls while you were gone."
"Well, definitely earlier than that, but we don't talk about it," Bada added.
"No, no, we are going to talk about it. Who was the special person that made you realize?"
Bada bit her lip and thought if she should tell you. Impulsively she thinks, 'it's now or never.'
"It was you."
You sat there with a shot of soju in hand and stared at Bada as a wave of emotions flooded you.
"Since when?" That was all you can say.
"Since high school," She mumbles, but you hear her loud and clear. Well, your first thought, you smack her arm, and she gives you an offended look. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"I was scared okay? We were friends for so long, and I didn't want to lose you. As long as you were happy, I was happy, and that was enough for me."
Your gazed softened, "Bada, you idiot."
"I liked you too."
Those were the words she never thought she would hear, and she felt a heaviness lift off her chest. "You think I would just suggest kissing you for shits and giggles?"
Now Bada wanted to punch herself in the face, "but you were dating other people?"
"Bada, I did that to push aside my feelings because everyone thought you were straight, and you never ever told me about crushing on a girl."
She thinks back and realizes you were right. She only ever talked about the guys she was crushing on. "Now I feel stupid. I've liked you for so long, and seeing you dating other people hurt my heart. When I saw you kissing other girls, I wanted to cry sometimes. Then I saw you again and realized that I still love you, and your relationship with Audrey often made me jealous. And-"
Before she could rant even more, you pulled her into a kiss to shut her up. Her shocked face turned soft, and she kissed you back.
To her, it felt the same as the first time you kissed her, but to you, it felt like the thing you've been missing for so long.
You wrap your arm around her waist, pulling her onto your lap, wanting to feel her warmth and touch.
She felt the kiss's intensity and couldn't help but grind on your lap. Out of breath, you two pulled away, breathing heavily. "I love you too dummy."
Bada's face grins widely, and she leans her head back as your arm balances her from falling. She goes all shy and hides her face into your neck as you lightly run your fingers up and down her waist, giving her the chills.
"You don't understand how long I've waited for that."
"Well, no need to wait anymore," You pull her into another kiss, which turns into a heated make-out session. Her fingers tangled into your hair as your tongues played around. Your kisses move to her neck, and you chuckle, "Be ready for a long night. I have a couple years to make up for."
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A/n: Fun fact guys, this was the first Bada fic out of all the ones if written so far, i just pushed back posting it for so long😭
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elbiotipo · 2 months
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Ocassionally you see articles that are like "scientists are trying to hide how bad things are" and I'm the opposite of that. I've done my work on ecological restoration (actually grabbed a shovel and planted trees) and I'm amazed at how fast nature can restore itself. Ecologists used to think restoring tropical rainforests, to give an example of a complex ecosystem, would take centuries to go back if it was even possible -this is why you see all the dystopian fiction of rainforests going extinct- when in fact, it has been proven that without human pressure, ecological succession takes place and rainforests grow back nearly to its original physionomy in a few years, even if diversity does take a time to bounce back. Reintroducing animals might sound harder and it is, but we must remember that animals have faster cycles than humans. Just letting breeding pairs in protected areas is often enough for populations to grow back, as in the reintroduction of jaguars to Iberá in Corrientes Argentina, and many other cases. What is even more interesting and encouraging is how cheap, both in the monetary and the general effort sense, these works are. If a bunch of underpaid biologists, rural people and park rangers can do it, imagine if they had the full support and backing from states and international institutions.
We are at a stage where, besides climate change, we are facing tremendous biodiversity loss and this mostly comes to our methods of land use and food production. But these can be changed. We must assume the fact that nature is not a pristine untouched thing, but humans, in every continent they have lived in, have long managed its resources. The Amazon Rainforest is full of useful plants that hint at silviculture which is still done by its native peoples, the deserts and tundra that seem uninhabited have been home to pastoral and hunter-gatherer peoples. Humans have shaped all habitats on Earth, even the most 'untouched' ones. Just as they have managed their environments and natural resources, other civilizations have managed or mismanaged them. Now that industrial civilization has spread across the globe, we need to find a way to balance our need for food and other products with the need to preserve and take care of Earth. This can be done, we can ensure both a good quality of life and a protected biosphere. We can stop the dichotomy of humans separate from nature, assume our historical role as managers and stewards of natural resources, and do it with our modern understanding of ecology and science.
This does mean that it will take a lot of popular mobilization and change to uproot current interests and create states that uphold these principles. But I'm a marxist. I don't 'believe' in class struggle, I think it's a fact based on observations about society, and I also think that this current form of capitalism will eventually be replaced by socialism, and I believe the future socialist societies will not do the same mistakes as the past. We not only can create new societies that can take care of nature and the general welfare of people, but I also think that as history proceeds, it will be inevitable.
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kalki-tarot · 7 months
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A conversation between you and your future spouse – timeless pac 💌
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Disclaimer : this reading is for entertainment purposes only and does not guarantee any possible outcomes. Tarot is not 100% correct all the times. Your life is in your hands and you are responsible for your own actions and decisions.
Pile one 💫
This situation seems like some third party is affecting your relationship. The third party can be anything from people to things to addictions etc. You assumed thay future spouse may have lied to you about something which caused a fight between you guys. Remember that fights are normal in a relationship. And can be resolved with proper communication and understanding.
Your fs : See, I'm too disappointed with this situation and i deeply regret it. But you see, it's not entirely my fault..
You : I'm completely heartbroken because of you
Your fs : I clearly left and ignored that woman when she approached me darling, I walked away! I don't even know that woman!
Your anger calms down when your fs explains themselves. And you feel relieved. You may have insecurities about your fs leaving you for some other woman, so you got angry.
You : You know that I'm scared of you leaving me alone for someone else
Your fs : I know that, and i will never leave you sweetheart! Do you get that!? Don't get insecure about anything. I'm always yours. You are my better half and you are the only one with whom i feel at home, at peace.
Your fs comforts you and tells you how much you mean to them and you need not worry about anything or anyone. They also hug you and rub your back for sometime. This situation may take place while you guys are on a trip or traveling somewhere.
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Pile two 💫
Wow, this conversation will take place when you are getting married or about to get married to your fs. You are happy and excited but you are also having racing thoughts and a restless heart. You are just feeling nervous about the whole thing, some of you guys actually suffer from overthinking and anxiety. And you are having intrusive thoughts at this moment.
Your fs : Hey honey ~ why are you standing there all alone? Come! Have fun with all our friends and relatives. Let's have a drink together ^^
You just stand there silent and say : Umh, I'm actually kinda scared.. to get married i guess..? This all seems to fast to me. I'm having intrusive thoughts, my mind is thinking of all the possibilities ahh! I'm getting frustrated... this feels like a big change for me. It's not that i don't want to get married with you it's just.. too fast for me!
Your fs : Hey hey hey! Calm down! I'm here for you. This may feel too fast but think of how joyful you were when we first decided to get married! It's a new beginning for both of us, i can understand you. You just need to relax. Don't worry about anything, I'll take the lead and do everything for you. You just take a deep breathe and calm yourself.
Your fs calms you down and assures you. You feel better when you hear them talk about taking care of you well. And you know from the deep corners of your heart that they will make a good spouse. Your anxiety feels relieved. And you are happy to have them in your life as a counterpart.
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Pile 03 💫
This conversation can happen when you are going through a tough time in regards of your career. You are struggling between work and deadlines. You are completely exhausted but you are still working hard. Even people in your workplace may not appreciate you enough and you feel disappointed with yourself.
Your fs : hey nerd ;) where your eyes lookin' at? Come let's have some fun, take a break would you? Let's go out somewhere shall we?
You : Can you please not disturb me? I'm doing something important rn. And I'm not going anywhere till i finish this !
You frown and continue with your work. Your fs notices that.
Your fs : what happened dear? Is everything alright ? Are you stressed about anything?
You : yes! I am! Anything to do with you?
Your fs : why are u getting mad sweetie? 😋
You : AHHAHASAHAH, I'm so f**king stressed about this damn work i have to do. no one even notices my hardwork and patience! I'm sick of this!
Your fs : I appreciate you, your family appreciates you and you should change your godamn job if it keeps you hurting all the time yk? You have so much money already you should start some business or smth.
You : You know what! You are absolutely correct. I should start something of my own.
Your fs motivated you to leave your toxic work environment and start something of your own.
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lastoneout · 6 months
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Hey @ my fellow bitches and besties who deal with a lot constipation/gas/bloating because of IBS or other digestive issues!!
Did you know there's a way to deal with it at home on your own without medication?? Because my doctor sure didn't fucking tell me about this!! But I just tried it because my gas always makes me SO fucking nauseous that I can barely function and it takes like an hour for my nausea and IBS meds to kick in, but I always feel the urge to rub my stomach when I'm bloated, so my Wikipedia boyfriend ass googled it and YEP MASSAGING IS BACKED UP BY SCIENCE.
The article does say to not do this if you have recently had abdominal surgery, but here's the method:
"To perform abdominal massage on yourself.
Lie flat on your back with your belly exposed.
Overlap your hands on your lower belly and hold them here as you focus on your breath.
Warm your hands by rubbing them together for about 30 seconds.
Apply any oils that you’re using.
Use the palm of your hand to massage your entire stomach in a clockwise direction several times.
Then massage the centerline of your abdomen, starting below your sternum and ending at your pubic bone.
Do three more lines an inch apart down the left side of the abdomen.
Do the same on the right side of the abdomen.
Then press your fingers into your navel firmly.
Continue massaging with gentle pressure and circle outward from your navel in a clockwise direction.
You can spend extra time on specific areas or trigger points that feel like they need some extra attention.
Do this for up to 20 minutes.
If you don’t feel comfortable massaging yourself, you can also have your abdomen massaged by a massage therapist. Call before you make your appointment to see if the therapist performs abdominal massage. Not all masseuses provide this service."
I also found a slightly different one from the University of Michigan!
"Massaging your stomach can help to move stool along the inside of your colon. It may help relieve symptoms of tightness, pressure, cramping, and bloating.
Start on the right side of your stomach down by the bone of your pelvis.
Rub in a circular motion lightly up to the right side till you reach your rib bones.
Move straight across to the left side.
Work your way down to the left to the hip bone and back up to the belly button for 2-3 minutes.
Rub with your fingertips in a circular motion. You may press a little deeper with your fingers.
Spend about 1 minute moving from the right hip bone to the right ribs then 1 minute across the middle (gently) and then 1 minute down to the left bone by your pelvis to the belly button.
Repeat rub, always in a clockwise motion, for 10 minutes."*
I was literally so nauseous from being bloated that I couldn't even swallow food without feeling like I was going to puke, but I did the second one just sitting up at my desk, clockwise like they both said(I'm assuming bcs that's the direction things travel through your gut) and within like 2 minutes I felt better. I cannot BELIEVE no one has ever recommended this. Fucking life-changing. I used to just sit there and drink sprite and hope it was over soon and now I don't have to do that!! And if people already know about this that's good but like, again, no one EVER told me about this so if this can help even ONE person who struggles like I do I'll consider it a win!
Also, for clarification, I'm not advocating ditching your meds obvs, I just know it takes a while for pills to kick in and I don't think people should have to be miserable while they wait when there's something easy you can do to get some quick relief.
(*I added more bullet points to the second method because the wall of text was a little hard to read.)
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mrinafria · 4 months
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[contains spoilers]
I'm an eternal digger of good narrative techniques. A decent story becomes great in my eyes if the narrative is done right. And it's one of the hardest things to do really, since there's no one-size-fits-all rule for what technique works well with a particular story and what doesn't. One of the primary reasons I keep obsessing over Lovely Runner is its' narrative technique. In all honesty, if it had a linear, singular narrative, I would not be hyperventilating over it on a constant basis (I still would just a certain amount, because both Byeon Woo Seok and Kim Hye Yoon deserve awards for what they are doing). One reason it has managed to knock it out off the park and take the top spot in my forever-favorite list is how wonderfully well the narrative is done.
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The primary perspective used in this show is Im Sol's. It's through her we're introduced to the story. Her perspective gives shape to the plot, the characters, because we learn things through her. Her perspective is absolutely critical for exposition. Without her thoughts and way of viewing things, you would never realize why saving Seon Jae means so much to her, or why she would bend the rules and bulldoze ahead when it comes to his safety (exhibit A, her leaving home on the day of the accident, despite knowing about her fate). She'd rather have him alive than have him in her life. Without her narrative, you'd think it's really all about a fan saving her idol (thanks to everyone who'd rejected the script listening to that pitch by the way, I'm grateful we have BWS and KHY as the leads because of that, I would not change it for anyone else). With Im Sol's perspective, you realize, she is not just a fan: she's an ardent admirer, a cheerleader, a well-wisher, a protector, an invisible friend trying to support her friend any way she can, someone who respects Seon Jae, sees him as an idol but also as a human, someone who wants to give back to him the same kindness, empathy and love she had once received from him over a radio call. To her, Seon Jae is first a guardian angel and then an idol, the angel who changed her view of life, made her appreciate things even amidst all that could be wrong with the world and her life. He saved her. Not just on that day at the hospital but every time she struggled and faltered since then, he was there, as invisible as it may have been. So this time, she wants to save him, no matter the price.
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Then comes Seon Jae. Oof. If Im Sol's perspective gives the story its beautiful, beautiful shape, Seon Jae's perspective breathes literal life in to the body of the story. The show wouldn't be what it is today if not for his perspective. Without his view into things, Im Sol appears as a fangirl going to extreme measures to save her idol, clinging onto him like a monkey (yes I mean the poster) embarrassing the heck out of herself, making you cringe (in a good, enjoyable way) throughout. Then you reach the end of episode 2 and it knocks the breath out of you because WHAT DO YOU EVEN MEAN. It all clicks.
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All this while we kept thinking Seon Jae was caught off guard and just kind enough to tolerate her antics, and maybe he'd slowly fall for her now, only to realize we were completely oblivious to a whole different side of the story. If Im Sol's narrative draws you in and keeps you hooked, making you root for her to succeed, it's Seon Jae's narrative that makes you irredeemably fall in love with them and sincerely, genuinely, desperately hope they get their happy ending together after all the storm.
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And the motifs. Walking/running, for instance. I'll focus on just one scene here. I recall seeing a bts where KHY is discussing the OG 2008 accident scene, and it explains how she has to slow down, while running away, for just a moment, only to be hit by the taxi driver. Have you ever been in a situation of absolute panic, desperation and stress, then suddenly found a familiar face or a name or a thing you could connect to, and felt a wave of relief rush through you? She sees Seon Jae, a person who is calling out her name. Even if she didn't know him back then, the fact that he knew her (and that he had his uniform on), gives her a sense of safety she badly needed that moment. That momentary relief, so visible in her features, then overtakes the crippling fear she felt running in the middle of nowhere with no one in sight in the dead of the night. Her body, already exhausted beyond anything, responds to the relief she feels for those few seconds, slowing down her steps.
And that is when she is caught off-guard and hit. That also might have added to Im Sol's anger at the hospital when she is screaming at Seon Jae, her internal anguish that if only she had not paused seeing Seon Jae, and kept on running, then maybe she wouldn't be hit, wouldn't fall, wouldn't lose her ability to walk. It's one thing to have tropes and symbolic things, but it's a very different thing to know how to use them effectively so they elicit very specific types of emotions/reactions out of people. Lovely Runner excels in that. All kdramas more or less have 'things' that take on different meanings for the couples/viewers. It's the way motifs are used to narrate the story in this one that has me going back over and over again to all the episodes aired so far. These are not just their 'things', these are 'things' that drive the plot forward, tell you about their characters, their personal motivations, what they mean to each other and so much more.
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This is getting longer that I intended it to be so will end with this. I feel valued when watching Lovely Runner. And I've seen people saying the same thing. It feels like they respect your critical thinking skills, and your ability to infer, so they don't spoon-feed you everything from the get-go, and you can't predict much despite it being primarily a rom-com. You'd be pulling your hair out (again, in a good way) trying to figure out what they will show next, and you will be somewhat or very far from the truth, which will compel you to think further about the story, the characters, long after an episode has aired...I can't remember the last time it happened with a drama. I love this storytelling.
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wave2tyun · 7 months
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cool hot sweet love | ☆
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pairing: barista!beomgyu x fem!reader, surfer!yeonjun x fem!reader
genre: summer!au, lovetriangle!au, fluff, romance, a tiny bit of angst?
summary: embarking on a journey towards self-discovery, you didn’t expect to also have your heart tangled in an alluring summer romance. but, who’s gonna be the first to win your heart? the sweet barista, beomgyu, or the charming surfer boy, yeonjun? let the love games begin!
warnings : alcohol consumption, a few swear words, minor injury, (almost) drowning
word count: almost 10k + the endings are like 1k each
a/n: i've been feeling super nostalgic about this fic recently (it's one of the very first i've written!! :0), so here it is back again in all it's glory!!!! this is too long for me to search through for any mistakes i'm sorry asbjdha for all my summer enthusiasts, let's hang in there just a little bit more, this one goes out to y'all!!!!😼😼💞
☆ = repost from my old blog!!
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at the end of your final year of high school, you found yourself chasing a dream, a dream that was never truly yours to begin with. competitions and grades never seemed to bring you any satisfaction anymore. your parents’ praises didn’t seem enthusiastic either, but rather an automatic response. you felt completely lost. the one thing that seemed to give you the drive to keep on going, suddenly lost its spark. you were living in a greyed out world, having the same exhausting routine over and over again. you wanted a break from it all. for once, you didn’t long for the pressure or the big goals, but simply for living life just as it was. you wanted an escape from the clutches of mundane life, which is why you chose to swallow your pride and opt for a gap year after graduation. you knew your parents well, and you weren’t expecting them to be happy about your decision. they didn’t want to let their “dream daughter” fall down from the top and watch as everybody else around her were working on their way to success. but what they failed to consider was that success is in no way linear, and that your break was in the end substantial for your wellness. you were very lucky to have a friend like yeji in your life though. she did have her own struggles with academic validation as well, yet she never had any pressure coming from her parents. she wanted to be there for you, and made her parents persuade yours about letting you have a gap year with her. to raise the ball even higher, her parents added one condition: should you have a gap year, you weren’t allowed to remain in the city. instead, you were going to stay at their vacation home, at least for the summer, to let you experience the thrill of the unknown, as well as to help you get a breath of fresh air.
you didn’t know what kind of black magic yeji’s family used, but whatever they did, somehow managed to convince your parents to agree to your proposal. finally, you felt like you had found some motivation to keep on pushing through, making your heart fill up with excitement.
as the number of days leading up to your departure shortened, you were meeting up more and more with yeji for your final preparations. your sleepovers consisted of the two of you giggling while packing and making lists, as well as making up scenarios deep into the night about things that could finally “bring some spice” into your lives. even though it was her own family’s house, yeji hasn’t been there in years. she was living under the impression that a holiday there would just be “a distraction from her studies” or “a waste of time”. however, now that you were both free from that brainwashing hell called school, you realised how much you’ve actually been missing out on.
“do you really think that this “project” will finally bring that change we want in our lives?” you asked yeji, breaking the silence after some long moments of tossing and turning in your bed. you found it almost impossible to fall asleep. it was the last night before you were going to leave behind everything in your life so far. the excitement was still there, but you couldn’t deny the fact that there were all sorts of worries and doubts clouding your mind, and you found yourself wondering more and more often whether you were truly making a good decision.
“y/n, are you letting your worries take over your mind again?” she let out a soft laugh, then turned around to face you “i understand though, i’ve been getting that too. but- are those thoughts really worth it? i mean- we’ll never know unless we try, so i think it’s definitely worth a shot.”
you sighed “still- i don’t think i’d be able to face my parents again if i fail this.”
“y/n...this is not a test. there’s nothing to fail here. personally, i would rather try and regret than live my whole life wondering “what if”.”
you hummed. yeji was right. you hugged her tightly, trying to show her how much you appreciated her comforting words. and just like this, you were finally able to let your body drift off into a deep slumber. it was now or never, and you weren’t just gonna sit there and wait forever.
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the ride to the vacation house turned out to be a challenge in itself. yeji was the only one with a driver’s license, so you had no choice but to stay in the passenger’s seat with both a gps and a map in hand. unfortunately for yeji, you had one flaw: you were absolutely terrible with directions, meaning that the trip that was supposed to be 6 hours long, ended up taking you 9 hours instead. you got lost in some strange forests twice; yeji pulled over the side of the road multiple times, trying to make sense of the directions you were telling her, occasionally getting out to buy a piece of fresh fruit whenever she spotted a merchant. she said that it was helping her brain think, and that she was also helping to keep a business going. you didn’t need any excuses for fresh fruit though. fresh fruit is good food after all.
when you somehow made it to the house, you felt your body refilling with energy, despite having that whole trip take 10 years off your lifespan. sitting right in front of you was a 2-story house with pale blue walls and a white wooden porch.
“i can’t believe we made it out alive” you said after getting out of the car. you weren’t sure how much more you could endure the constant buzzing of the air conditioner, and yeji’s one and only cd playing on replay.
“you can’t believe we made it? what about me, i was the one having to endure all those truck drivers swearing at me for taking wrong turns, because someone, not telling who, is incapable of using any kind of maps”
“whew- i wonder who that is.” you gasped dramatically “must be tough dealing with them. bet they are a lovely person though”
“they sure are” she giggled “now come on, let’s get our luggage out of the trunk before the heat melts everything away.”
“need a hand with that?” you heard an unfamiliar voice shouting from the distance. you turned around and saw a group of 3 young men coming your way. you and yeji looked at each other dumbfounded, unsure what to answer. you nudged her with your elbow.
“do you know them?”
“no idea who they are...” she whispered back.
“you must be yeji and y/n- right? i’m hueningkai, yeji’s parents let us know that you were coming today, so we stopped by to see if you needed any help” the boy with a brown mullet said. “that’s soobin and this is taehyun” he pointed at the other two, both of them giving you a warm smile and a small wave in return. you were almost too stunned to speak. luckily for you, yeji replied while you were busy staring at them with big eyes.
“i think i recall them mentioning you briefly before leaving. actually, weren’t there supposed to be two more people or am i not remembering well?”
“you must be talking about beomgyu and yeonjun.” soobin answered “their shifts haven’t ended yet so they’re still busy at the beach. we can go over there if you want to after you settle in.”
“sounds great.” you said picking up the first luggage.
“that looks heavy- let me handle that” taehyun replaced the luggage in your hand with a bag. “t-thanks.” you were taken aback by their kindness. boys at your school never even spare a glance in your direction, let alone help you carry something. if it weren’t for the boys, you and yeji would have probably passed out on the floor after moving everything inside.
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the house was only a 5-minute walk away from the beach, during which you got to learn a tiny bit more about each other. hueningkai told you that he’s the one in charge for making playlists and playing music; soobin worked along with beomgyu at the bar, meanwhile taehyun got a small job as a kitchen assistant because of his newly-found passion for cooking. they were all around your age and yet they seemed to have already found their passions, living life without much worry in mind. you wished you could live like that too, and maybe, just maybe, this was your chance to find that out.
“welcome-“ “-to paradise!” soobin exclaimed spreading his arms in the air.
“woah-” both you and yeji said in unison, making everybody else laugh.
“welcome to paradise indeed” you said, placing your feet on the warm golden sand. there was music playing around you, not too loud so that you could still hear the sound of the waves softly crashing against the shore. it was breath-taking.
“and you haven’t seen everything yet” taehyun chuckled, leading you towards the beach bar. “beomgyu- we’re here!” he shouted.
you squinted your eyes trying to see who this “beomgyu” was from afar, but your vision simply failed you. and when you got closer, you were simply not mentally prepared to face the person in front of you.
“guys i told you not to-“ he started off, seemingly irritated “oh- hi.” he scratched his neck, giving you a shy smile. at that very moment, you swore you felt your heart skip a beat.
“y/n, yeji- this is beomgyu. our one and only barista.”
“the best one in town!” beomgyu added cheerfully.
“ah- so humble too.” taehyun teased him, sighing dramatically.
“hey- what are you implying?” beomgyu sulked, but you couldn’t even pay attention to their bickering. your eyes were way too busy going over beomgyu’s features. ripe, cherry red locks of hair framed his eyes, those eyes that resembled two pearls of boba from a brown sugar milk tea, with long, beautiful eyelashes adoring them. you thought he looked just like a honey bear.
“i’m yeji- it’s nice to meet you” she shook his hand “this is y/n.”
beomgyu smiled and you reached your hand out for him to shake it. his soft hands enveloped yours, and you couldn’t help but notice how bigger they were than yours. you felt his hand lingering for just a few seconds more, and you were already missing his warm touch once he let go.
“so- want to have a look over our menu? it’s on the house” beomgyu offered.
“oh cool i’ll have the-“ soobin started talking, instantly getting cut off by beomgyu “not you- the girls!” he jokingly gave him a death stare “you’ve all been profiting too much off my generosity lately, you don’t deserve any free drinks today.”
you and yeji snickered, they all looked really close to each other, like brothers. it was like you were witnessing a petty fight between siblings.
“one strawberry lemonade for me please!” yeji said.
your eyes were still scanning the menu, hands continuously flipping the pages back and forth as you chewed on your bottom lip. beomgyu leaned over to you, the sweet scent of his citrus perfume invading your senses.
“want me to recommend anything?”
“ah- yes please. there are too many drinks here that sound good.” you replied “nothing with alcohol though, the trip here already gave me a headache.” you glared at yeji, who lifted one eyebrow at you.
he chuckled “people usually enjoy the peach smoothie, myself included. does that sound good?” his deep brown eyes peered into yours, never breaking eye contact- not even for one second. “sounds perfect.” you replied, almost completely absorbed by his gaze.
“until that’s done-” hueningkai chimed in “we should go ahead and meet up with yeonjun too.”
“don’t take too long though” beomgyu said “my shift is ending soon.”
“we’ll be fast- have you seen him around by chance?”
“last time i talked to him he was at the surfing board shop. maybe check that out first?” beomgyu replied, before going to the drinks station to get started on your orders.
“oh- i haven’t seen you around here before?”
you almost jumped out of your seat, startled by the new voice that interrupted your conversation.
“yeonjun! perfect timing.” hueningkai said “we were planning to go looking for you.”
“is that so?” he playfully asked, plopping down on the seat between you and yeji. his voice turned out to be much more attractive than you had anticipated, it was smooth, yet slightly husky and deep. you turned your head to look at him for the first time.
“i’m yeji- and this is...” her voice trailed down, expecting you to answer again. you were frozen, being too immersed to take in yeonjun’s appearance. you could notice his muscular form, not hidden away from the tight-fitted swimming shirt he was wearing. his sharp eyes game him a fox-like charm, making you feel inexplicably drawn to him. in contrast, his plump lips make him look adorable, like a sulky duck. what was a man like him even doing on a secluded beach-? yeji coughed, giving you a small nudge.
“y/n.” you managed to blurt out, a stupid smile plastered on your face.
“ah- huening, why didn’t you mention that such pretty girls were coming here today?” you almost dropped the drink’s coaster you had in your hand as he said that.
“it hasn’t even been 5 minutes and he’s already flirting” taehyun groaned, covering his face with his hands.
beomgyu rolled his eyes at his friend’s antics, setting down the drinks for you and yeji on the counter before finding a seat on the bar stools to join you.
“like i’ve said-“ hueningkai intervened “we were about to look for you. are you done with lessons for today?”
“yup. some kid had a sunstroke so i got off work early”
“what kind of lessons do you teach?” you asked curiosity taking over.
“i’m a surfing teacher for kids.” he answered “it’s a small job to make some money. for you, however- i could do it for free, since you’re cute” he winked at you, making your cheeks flush instantly.
“i’m sure y/n would love to try something new” yeji butted in, answering before you could open your mouth to speak. “that’s what we’re here for, after all. right?”
“right...” you squinted your eyes at her, giving her a light kick with your foot.
“it’s decided then.” he chuckled “i’ll be waiting.”
this is how all the conversations during the first day went like; your mind going blank, with yeji either saving you from embarrassment or only digging your hole deeper. still, you enjoyed it, you ended up staying at the beach long after the sun started to set. the chilly breeze coming from around the sea was made you get up from your seats, at long last.
───⋆☆─────────────
the next day, you found yourself back at the beach sometime in the afternoon. you did everything you could to wake up yeji, but to no avail. the drive here must have completely tired her out, as she was sleeping soundly as a rock. in the end, you let her continue to rest, choosing to go out by yourself.
“so, what’s it gonna be for today?” beomgyu asked, leaning his head on the palm of his head. “may i interest you in one of my signature cocktails, perhaps?”
“i’d love that” you smiled.
this time, you watched as beomgyu prepared your drink. he lifted the sleeves of his dress shirt up, revealing the way his forearm muscles tensed up as he picked up the glass bottles full of alcohol. his precise movements could tell you that he must have had plenty of experience as a barista. your eyes wandered off further, focusing on the way his long slender fingers, still slightly dripping with water from having washed fruits earlier, handled the knife with such skill and care. you remembered the moment you held his hands yesterday, how soft his skin was to your touch- you shook your head, trying to get that thought away.
“all done” beomgyu brought you a tall glass, ripe cherry sitting proudly on top, floating on the ice. “it’s a cherry daiquiri.”
you pushed the straw past your lips, a sweet yet tangy taste filling up your mouth. beomgyu looked at you, eyes gleaming with curiosity and anticipation. feeling a bit mischievous, you put on a serious expression.
“well uh-“ you paused, pursing your lips “this was quite-“
 beomgyu gulped, the content look on his face fading away.
“-quite possibly the best cocktail i’ve ever had” you couldn’t help but burst into laughter upon seeing the cute expression he had on his face. he closed his eyes, tilting his head back and breaking into a smile.
“you had me seriously questioning my bartender skills for a moment there”
“sorry- i had to” you giggled “i really mean it though, i’ve never had something that tasted this good before” beomgyu’s dimple appeared as he tried to conceal the big smile taking over his face.
“y/n!” yeji shouted, jogging to reach the bar.
“look who’s finally up”
“i slept through my alarm- sorry” she sighed, sitting down beside you.
‘not just through your alarm’
you hummed as you continued to sip on your drink, admiring the scenery in front of you. it was a peaceful atmosphere, the catchy beats of the music being sometimes interrupted by the squawking of the seagulls in the distance. right at the shore was a small group of kids, with yeonjun in the middle of them, standing on a surfing board. they all seemed to be bursting with energy, like bottles of soda that were about to explode. yeonjun knew how to match their energy well, while still keeping everything under control.
“instead of staring at him so intensely, why don’t you go and take up his offer?”
you snorted, crinkling your nose “me? surfing? no thanks- i’m saving myself from that embarrassment”
“and? if you only worry about embarrassing yourself then you won’t ever end up making a change with your life” yeji wrapped her arms around her body “-and this exactly what we’re here for, something new. don’t just let this opportunity go to waste.”
you frowned, chewing on your straw. even though your brain didn’t like to admit it, she was right. you were so caught up in your own comfort bubble, that it was holding you back.
“looks like he’s getting a break now” yeji muttered “come on- this is your chance!”
“alright- i’m going” you agreed at last, gulping down the rest of the drink before heading towards yeonjun’s spot. you walked with a determined look on your face- and shaky hands.
you tapped yeonjun on the shoulder, breath hitching in your throat. yeji watched your interaction from her seat, wishing she could be closer to hear it.
“who-” he turned around “y/n- everything good?”
“yeah.” you answered shortly, playing with your earrings. you weren’t particularly bad at small talk, but this time your mind went blank the moment he started facing you. you couldn’t even meet his eyes, which were staring back directly at you.
“actually- i’ve been thinking about it and, you know those surfing lessons you talked about? i kinda want to give that a shot” you trailed down, your voice becoming higher in pitch towards the end of your sentence.
yeonjun’s face instantly lit up, his smile reaching his eyes “really? when do you want to start then?”
“well, when is your schedule free?” you scratched your neck “i’ve heard you’re pretty busy, i wouldn’t want to be a burden.”
“don’t worry about it, i was the one who asked after all.” he chuckled “i can give you a text later on after checking.” you tilted your head in confusion
“but you don’t have my phone nu-“
oh. he was smooth.
“you got me.” he said sheepishly “i was hoping to get your phone number” there was a sharp constrast to the way he was behaving before. the cool and flirty persona he had been putting on was starting to crumble “if that’s okay with you as well i mean-“
“yeah i’m okay with that” you reassured him “maybe i wanted yours too” you mumbled, heart almost giving out after getting those words out. he laughed again, handing you his phone. you quickly typed your phone number in, saving the contact as “y/n :)”, then you handed him yours.
“i’ll make sure to let you know by tonight”
“great, i’ll be waiting then” you replied playfully, making your way back to the bar.
yeji kept on pressuring you to spill all the details, but you brushed her off, wanting to save the conversation in private. you didn’t even get a chance to breathe properly once you returned home. after locking the door, yeji dragged you by the arm and sat you down on the couch along with her, forcing you to let it all out.
“see? that wasn’t so bad, was it? i’m sure you’re gonna thank me later-“ yeji’s voice was interrupted by a notification coming from your phone. you sat there, frozen, a million thoughts rushing through your mind.
“are you gonna answer that?”
“i- i guess i should” you took your phone, a river bubbling through your veins and flushing your face at the sight of the new message:
(yeonjun<3)
[10:30 pm]: hi cutie ;) are you free tomorrow at 11 am for our first surfing lesson?
“what are you smiling at?”
“nothing” you giggled, hiding the screen of your phone with your hands.
“you’re definitely not giggling because of nothing- let me see.” yeji got on top of you, trying to pry the phone away from your hands. however, her attempt was unsuccessful, as your grip was way too strong.
“you’re leaving me with no choice” she whispered mischievously. you felt your whole life flash before your eyes. you had one great weakness- and yeji knew that. you couldn’t even stand 3 seconds of tickling, so she was going to use it against you. her fingers inched closer to your stomach and attacked you quickly.
“YEJI- stop please-“ you tried to shout between giggles “i surrender- i promise.” she stopped for a brief moment “you promise?” “yeah- now get off me and i’ll give you my phone.” she squinted her eyes, going back to her place on the couch reluctantly. her eyes widened in disbelief when you revealed the new message.
“no fucking way- after two days?? y/n. this guy’s definitely into you”
“i don’t want to jump to conclusions- what if that’s his way of being friendly?” you argued back, realising how foolish your reason sounded only after you finished your sentence.
“y/n- darling, there’s no way a guy who just wants to become friends would save his name with a heart symbol.” she shook you by the shoulders “he. is. into. you.”
“what if-“ you were about to argue again, but the sound of another notification made you stop midway through your sentence. you unlocked your phone, completely unprepared. you and yeji glanced at the screen, then looked back at each other in disbelief, struggling to contain the urge to scream your lungs out.
(unknown number)
[10:50 pm]: hi, y/n! this is beomgyu :)
[10:51 pm]: i got your phone number from yeonjun, hope you don’t mind ;)
───⋆☆─────────────
from the moment you woke up you could feel your heart hammering in your chest. it was hard to tell whether it was from excitement or anxiety. maybe it was a mix of both. still, you were proud of yourself for choosing to do something out of your comfort zone for once. yeji was probably even more excited than you were. she wasn’t a morning person, but she insisted on coming along to watch your lesson and to ‘check your chemistry’.
“which swimsuit should i take? i packed two with me.” you held up a black one-piece swimsuit and a pale blue two-piece one for yeji to see.
“get the two-piece. you look hotter in it.” she playfully winked at you. you reluctantly looked at the swimsuit she chose, cursing yourself in your head for asking. you opened your mouth to voice out your worries, but yeji got up from the bed and put a finger over your mouth “shush, i don’t want to hear any complaints. just trust me on this one- okay?” you silently put the black one back in the drawer and went to the bathroom to get changed, deciding to go with yeji’s pick. “yeonjun’s heart is gonna melt once he sees you.”
you tried to ignore her “let’s go, i don’t want to be late.”
“can’t leave yeonjun hanging?” yeji joked, faking a pout. you lightly slap her arm. “i’m gonna leave without you if you’re not ready.”
“you wouldn’t do that to me- you love me.”
“i sure do...” you tilted your head back, a laugh escaping your lips.
yeonjun was waiting for you at the exact same spot you watched him teach yesterday, nobody else around him this time. for some reason, the thought of being completely alone with him didn’t cross your mind. you could feel a rush of adrenaline flowing through your body, but it was way too late to back down now.
“ready for-“ yeonjun’s words stopped abruptly as soon as he looked at you. he seemed distressed, eyes rapidly going over between you and the warm sand beneath his feet, the tips of his ears flaming red. was this what yeji meant by his heart melting? he cleared his throat before speaking again “ready for our first lesson?”
“i’m a bit nervous” you admitted “but overall excited i think” you didn’t sound very sure of yourself.
“you’ll be fine with me” he flashed you a gentle smile.
yeonjun clasped his hands together “we’ll go over the basics first”
“you need to catch waves in order to start surfing, and how do you do that? you paddle.” yeonjun put down a surfing board onto the sand. “to paddle, you need to lie and balance on your surfboard. let me demonstrate it for you” yeonjun laid his body on the board, his back now facing you.
“when you do this, make sure that the angle of the board’s nose doesn’t change. it should remain the same as when you weren’t on top of the board, not higher, not lower.”
“got it.”
“you shouldn’t paddle with both arms simultaneously, as this won’t help you maintain a constant speed. alternate between both arms at a steady pace”
you were in awe at yeonjun’s professional aura, he explained things calmy, while still maintaining a firm voice.
“let’s get this board into the water so you can give that a try.”
you looked at yeonjun with wide eyes, your nerves had just started to settle down a bit and now they were going off like fireworks again.
he laughed lightly “no need to worry, i’ll be right beside you.” yeonjun pushed the board into the sea, not too far away from the shore so that the water level wouldn’t be too high. he held on to it so that you could get lie down with ease. “when paddling keep your chin up so that you can look around.”
you tried to do just as he said, mimicking his movements from earlier. you didn’t want to know how goofy you looked from another person’s point of view.
“just like that” yeonjun whispered “see? you’re a natural! i think we can move on to the next step- getting up. we won’t be riding any waves today, we need to make sure you get this technique right”
you turned your head towards his direction, a petrified look on your face.
“come on, i’ll help you” yeonjun held out his hand for you to take, moving the other on your waist to help you maintain your balance as you moved up with shaky feet. his touch made you feel flustered and you lost your focus, accidentally slipping on the board. luckily, yeonjun was there to catch you before you could face-plant into the water.
“easy does it. don’t worry, it’s tricky to get it right on the first try” he held you again, his grip on your hand tighter than the first time. you held your breath as you made your second attempt, this time ending successful.
“no way- i did it” you exclaimed.
yeji’s and beomgyu’s cheers could be heard all the way from the bar, making you burst into laughter. your cheeks turned rosy as you noticed your hand still holding yeonjun’s.
“you’re doing amazing, cutie” your face felt even hotter at the sound of the nickname.
“let’s try that a few more times”
and so you did. again, and again, and again. yeonjun didn’t let you go until you had at least 3 successful attempts in a row. the both of you settled down on a sunbed, munching on some ice cream as a reward for your success.
“do you like it here so far?” yeonjun asked.
“we haven’t had the chance to do much yet but- i think i do. the beach alone is enough for me to enjoy my time here.” you took a bite of the ice cream cone “by the way- i was wondering, how come you started surfing?”
“i fell in love with the beach after my uncle taught me how to surf.” you looked up to meet his eyes. you could see the way they lit up as he explained everything further. “the gentle breeze, the adrenaline, the warm sun touching my skin- i felt like i couldn’t get enough of it.” he tilted his head back and stretched out his arms “i tried to go back to the city, but i couldn’t resist being away from all of this, so now- i get to do exactly what i love.” he smiled.
you stared at the ice cream in your hand, watching it melt from the heat. his words tugged at your heart; in a way, you were feeling jealous of how content he seemed to be with his life.
“sounds really nice” you smiled back, biting your lips. you could almost feel your stomach turning, your previous worries were coming on at lightning speed. the sound of yeonjun’s voice out of it.
“i’m glad you took up on my offer, it’s nice to share something i enjoy with a lovely person like you.” your worries dissipated, being replaced by butterflies in your stomach instead.
───⋆☆─────────────
you continued your lessons with yeonjun up until the middle of the summer. it was clear by now that you were definitely not a surfing prodigy, but you didn’t want to stop. you didn’t know when it would be the next time you got to do something like this. besides, having yeonjun’s attention all on you was nice. or at least, until little kids started stealing him away from you.
“teacher yeonjun- can you help me find my rubber duck? i lost it in the water.” the kid sobbed, tugging on yeonjun’s swimming shorts. yeonjun looked at the kid then at you, conflicted.
“go on-“ you reassured him with a smile “i got it.”
“i’ll be quick.” yeonjun grabbed the kids hand, sprinting towards the area of the “lost duck”.
you lifted your body on the surfing board, closing your eyes for a brief moment and taking a deep breath of the cool beach air. you were all alone now. this was your chance to get away from your thoughts, your worries; to simply shift your focus on all your other senses. somehow, you were feeling nostalgic- nostalgic for a moment that hasn’t even fully passed yet. if only it was possible to keep those feelings locked away, so you could revisit them whenever you wanted to.
yet, your happiness was cut short. you let your guard down too much, and were completely unaware of the danger right in front of you. beomgyu’s shout snapped you out of it. you opened your eyes, only to see an enormous wave centimeters away from you. you froze, not knowing what to do. a million thoughts ran through your mind; before you could even make a decision, the wave crashed into you, sending your body flying down into the water, your head hitting the surfing board in the process. the glass that beomgyu was holding slipped from his hand, shattering to the ground. he swiftly jumped over the counter, then took his shirt off, his eyes frantically searching around the water for you. instead, he saw yeonjun diving in the water, already 2 steps ahead from him. it was childish to race with yeonjun to save you. beomgyu ran back to the bar, hands shaking as he searched for a first med kit and a towel.
you couldn’t keep your eyes open as the salty water gave you a burning sensation almost instantly. you flailed your arms around, in an attempt to save yourself, but the more you moved, the more it felt like you were sinking down. you were almost ready to stop when you felt a pair of arms wrapping around your waist, bringing you back up towards the surface.
“i got you, don’t worry” yeonjun breathed out, hooking one of his arms under your legs and holding your shoulders with the other. your hands hanged loosely around his neck, desperately coughing up the water that entered your system.
“try to stand on your side if you can”
yeonjun laid you down on the nearest sunbed, and you did just as he said, bringing your knees to your chest as your coughing fit continued. “don’t panic, just let it all out” he said softly as he rubbed his hands down your back to soothe you.
yeonjun called out yeji’s name, gesturing for the others to remain in their place for now, as a group of people surrounding you could have been overwhelming. still, beomgyu chose to trail down behind yeji as she walked towards you. he covered you with the towel he found and left a cold bottle of water on the ground next to you before going up to yeonjun.
“can we talk for a sec?” he said, grabbing yeonjun’s arm to bring him further down the beach, without waiting for an answer from him.
“hey- how are you feeling now?” yeji crouched down, holding your hand and gently rubbing her thumb against it.
“better, i think” you answered, trying to put on a smile for her, even though you were still shaken up from what happened earlier.
“where did the others go? i didn’t even get to thank yeonjun-” you raised your body a little bit, looking around the beach.
“don’t even worry about that right now.” yeji was quick to push your shoulders back down. yeji knew why beomgyu was so quick to take yeonjun away. she knew how angry he was with him for leaving you alone so carelessly, and she knew how he was also angry with himself for not acting faster earlier. witnessing them arguing wouldn’t have done you any good. “just rest a little bit more so we can go back home. i’m sure you’ll have another opportunity to thank him soon.”
you looked down. you felt guilty for what happened, even though what happened was outside of your control. you let out a groan and brought a hand to your head, a pounding ache taking over.
“does it hurt?“ yeji asked. you removed your head from its place, only to see a small trail of blood dripping down your fingers.
“everything okay?” you heard yeonjun shout, jogging towards you. he was out of breath, bringing his hands to rest on his knees, cheeks flushed a deep shade of red; it seemed like he ran all the way back. beomgyu, however, was nowhere in sight. “let me see” his eyebrows furrowed as he came closer. he moved your hair behind your ear to inspect your injury. “it’s nothing serious. it’s just a surface level wound, but we need to clean it up.”
“here, beomgyu gave this to me earlier” yeonjun took the med kit from yeji and placed it beside you on the sunbed.
“please tell me if it hurts”
you nodded and he grabbed your chin, then started to gently dab your head with a wet cloth. your eyes shily glanced over at his face. you didn’t realise until then just how close he was sitting next to you. his eyes were only focused on your wound and he was biting his lips in concentration. his hands were shaking a little bit, too afraid to cause you any type of pain. unknowingly, you were holding your breath, heart beating out of control. you couldn’t understand why it was that your body was reacting this way, even in a situation like this, how he still had you wrapped around his finger, melting under his feathery touches.
“this should make it heal faster” yeonjun said, putting some ointment on the wound before covering it with a bandaid. “-and this too” he whispered, leaving a small kiss on that same spot. “i’m so sorry y/n. you are still a beginner and i shouldn’t have left you all alone like that, it was stupid-“ you stopped his rambling by pulling him in for a hug. “hey- don’t blame yourself so harshly. what happened was outside of your control. if you were there maybe you would have gotten injured too.” you hugged him tighter “i wouldn’t have wanted to see you hurt either.”
“you’re right...” yeonjun sighed, combing his fingers through your hair “still- i’ll find a way to make it up to you, i promise.”
“hey- i know you’re having a sweet moment and all, but it’s getting late and we should really get going” yeji interrupted. you slowly moved away from yeonjun, whispering a ‘thank you’ against his ear before finally letting go and getting up.
once at home, you hopped into the shower to wash off the salt off your body. you changed into more comfortable clothes, slumping into your bed, your body melting into the mattress. you were mindlessly scrolling through social media, your eyes feeling heavier with each minute that passed. you were on the point of dozing off when you saw a notification appear on your screen.
(gyu :) )
[beomgyu, 9:17 pm] y/n! how are you feeling now? :(
[y/n, 9:17 pm] definitely better now, especially because of your help :)
[beomgyu, 9:17 pm] i’m glad
[beomgyu, 9:18 pm] are you busy rn?
[y/n, 9:18 pm] no, why?
[beomgyu, 9:18 pm] look outside the window ;)
confused, you got up from the bed and peeked through the window blinds, spotting a smiling beomgyu waving his hand at you from the sidewalk. you couldn’t help but return his smile as you looked at him, already in his pyjamas with a jacket over his shirt and a small basket in his hand. you opened the window and shouted “wait- i’ll be down in a sec.” stumbling as you rushed to climb down the stairs and put on your shoes. you quickly ran your fingers through your hair and took a deep breath to regain your composure. you were taken aback when you saw beomgyu right in front of you, hand raised up to knock on the door just as you opened it.
“hi.” he spoke softly.
“hi-” you breathed out “want to come in?”
“ah-“ he cleared his throat, his eyes meeting the floor instead of your face “i just wanted to bring you this.” he brought the hand holding the basket in front of you, its contents hidden away with the help of a pink wrapping paper. you pushed it to the side, careful so as not to rip it too much. your eyes widened once you discover small boxes with fresh assorted fruits like strawberries, cherries, grapes...and a tiny bear plush placed in the middle of everything.
“thought these might cheer you up a bit. i snuck those away from the bar once my shift ended. don’t tell on me though, soobin might kick my ass if he finds out”
“beomgyu-“ you stammered “thank you, but you didn’t have to-” you were pushing the basket back towards him, overwhelmed by his sweet gestures. he caught your wrists with his hands, moving them towards your chest.
“but i did have to” he leaned down, bringing his face to the same level as your own “if i saw you smile, then that means it was worth it, even if i do get in trouble” his words rolled off his tongue slowly, with a low rasp. you noticed the way beomgyu’s eyes moved away from yours to glance at your lips, then going back to the floor, stopping for a second, hesitating, before deciding to quickly steal away a kiss from your cheek.
“go back inside now, you should get some rest.”
without even realising it, you brought a hand up to your face, touching the same spot he just caressed with his lips. he tilted his head, chuckling after seeing your flustered expression. “good night, y/n” he put his hands in his pockets, turning his back to walk towards the alleyway.
what you weren’t aware of though, was just how loudly beomgyu’s heart was beating against his chest.
───⋆☆─────────────
the end of august, also known as the start of the party season at the beach. with tourists ending their trips and leaving soon, as well as with the weather on the cusp of changing, the workers at the beach started preparing for their annual series of events (which was actually more of an excuse to make people purchase more alcohol)
“we’re doing what tonight?” you asked yeji, resisting the urge to throw the pillow in your lap at her.
“listen- i know you’re finding out about this late, but-“
“but?” you pressed your lips together, lifting an eyebrow.
“but you would have declined the invitation right away-“ yeji sighed “now it’s too late to tell them that we’re not going. remember our promise? to take up on new opportunities?”
you remained silent, crossing your arms and glaring at yeji.
“come on, it’s the first party. if you don’t like it then i won’t pressure you to go to the rest. let’s just try it and see how it goes” yeji got on her knees, holding your hand and looking at you with pleading eyes.
“fine.” you gave in, yeji’s words managed to persuade you yet again. she squealed, capturing you in a tight hug. she wasted no time to drag you into her room and help you get ready. her face was basically radiating as she showed you all the makeup and outfit choices, there was just no way you could refuse her anymore. you just let her do her thing, putting all your trust into her tastes.
the more you walked towards the beach, the louder the music was becoming. you were tempted to do a full 180 and make a run for it, but your conscience didn’t allow you. plus, you truly believed that yeji would simply take her heels off to go after you and drag you back. you felt out of place in the big crowd of people, overwhelmed by the loud beats combining with people shouting in a poor attempt to communicate with each other. you were busy frantically scanning the area for a familiar figure, but you somehow missed yeonjun coming right in your direction. you were taken aback when you noticed him standing in front of you.
“hi, cutie. glad to see you here” yeonjun greeted you.
“hi-“ your eyes trailed down over his body. his white button-up shirt wasn’t closed all the way, giving you a peek at his exposed chest and the delicate silver necklace sitting on top of it. you bit your lip trying to shift your focus from the pretty man in front of you back to the conversation. he winked at you when you tried to make eye contact with him again. shit. your cheeks flushed a deep shade of red; he definitely noticed you staring at him. you quickly turned around and took a shot from the drinks table close to you. you grimaced as the alcohol sent a dash of fire down your throat, yet you still extended your hand for more.
yeji grabbed your arm “hey- hey, take it easy. we only just arrived.”
“and i’ve already embarrassed myself” you whispered back, covering your face with your hands.
“i’m sure whatever you did isn’t that bad. you’re gonna embarrass yourself more if you get wasted within the first hour anyway.”
you pressed your lips together. she was right- you just didn’t want to admit it out loud. “come on, i want to check out the dessert table. i heard soobin did a pretty good job with that” yeji said, grabbing your wrist and dragging you along with her.
yeji tested out almost every single dessert at the party. each time she took a bite of something new, she insisted that you tried it too because “this one was really the best”. you found it amusing but in some way, she was right, soobin really outdid himself this time. the cupcakes in particular were your favorite. the cake was so soft and moist, and the frosting was soft like velvet, immediately melting down on your tongue. they were seriously addicting. you were about to dive into another vanilla cupcake when you felt a tap on your shoulder. it was yeonjun who came up to you again.
“y/n- join me for a dance?”
your eyes glanced back at yeji, then at the cupcake in your hand. you were very tempted to say yes, but you didn’t want to leave her alone either. the idea of abandoning your cupcake didn’t sound that good either.
“go ahead” yeji said, snatching the cupcake you were holding. “i was about to go to hueningkai anyway- i wanted to have a look at his playlist. have fun you two” she sent a wink your way before quickly leaving, not even sparing you a chance to argue.
“shall we?” yeonjun stretched out his hand for you to take, which you nervously took. he led you to the middle of the dance floor, making you internally panic. having not gone to many parties in your lifetime, you weren’t confident in showing off your dance moves, especially right in front of yeonjun.
yeonjun must have sensed your worries, dipping down to whisper in your ear, his deep voice sending shivers down your spine. “just focus on me- don’t mind everyone else.” you were still holding his hand, so he took this chance to lift his arm up and playfully spin you around. you couldn’t help but giggle, slowly starting to ease up. you tried to ignore everyone else invading your vision, focusing on him and only him as you swayed your body along the rhythm of the music. you couldn’t help yourself but grab two more shots, one for you and one for yeonjun, when you saw one of the baristas coming down your way with a silver platter full of alcoholic drinks. ‘it’s for a little confidence boost’ you told yourself. for tonight, you were finally allowing yourself to be free from any worries, and to simply enjoy the moment.
you weren’t aware of how much time had passed since you stepped foot on the dance floor, and you were very tempted to take a break and let your legs rest for a while. but it seemed like the dj wasn’t going to let that happen anytime soon. the up-beat music that had been playing for the past hour was suddenly changed to a slow, jazzy song. you looked up at yeonjun with wide eyes, and he bit his lips, looking as surprised as you did. yet, he didn’t pull away. his hands dropped down from their position on your shoulders, trailing down your arms and then moving to your waist, leaving hot trails everywhere he touched your body. your body unconsciously moved closer to his, a bright red blush adoring your cheeks. your mind couldn’t focus on anything else but his hands on you. the sound of the music combining with your loud heartbeat made you feel light-headed.
“i want to kiss you” he whispered, resting his forehead on yours, his grip on your waist tightening “but if i do then i might not be able to contain myself.” he breathed out. your hand moved up to the nape of his neck, about to give in to the sweet temptation, when all of a sudden taehyun lightly tugged yeonjun by the collar of his shirt, creating distance between the two of you.
“loverboy, go check up on soobin, he’s having trouble setting up the fog machine”
“right now?”
“yes, now. come on” taehyun grabbed yeonjun, not letting him argue. ‘strange’ you remembered that the fog machine was already on when you arrived.
yeji and beomgyu appeared by your side just a few seconds later “where’s yeonjun?”
“ah- soobin was searching for him. guess i was kind of abandonded” you tried to laugh it off “can we go somewhere quieter?” the music is starting to mess with my brain.
“i’ll grab some drinks and i’ll meet you near the shore, there’s some log benches there.”
you nodded, holding onto yeji’s sleeve so as not to lose her. you felt like you could finally breathe again once you stepped foot on the sand. you couldn’t lie, parties did seem fun, but those where you’re almost completely surrounded by strangers? not so much. you held on until most people left, enjoying yeji’s and beomgyu’s company, cracking silly jokes as you kept on drinking. it was only after midnight when the rest of the boys joined you, with a few of the other people lingering around.
“anybody up for a few rounds of truth or dare?” yeji shouted.
“i’m in” beomgyu replied, raising his hand.
“i guess i’m in too” you sighed. truth or dare wasn’t really your cup of tea, but you didn’t want to ruin the other’s mood.
“everybody gather around the fire then��� yeonjun said “and remember- no buts, no maybes” he snickered.
you noticed how beomgyu looked at you and opened his mouth, then closed it back again after yeonjun said down next to him. his body seemed to slump down after that; you wondered whether it was you who he wanted to sit close to.
“i’ll be the one to get this started” yeonjun stated, looking at every person over the hot flames of the fire, only for his eyes to land back on the person to his right. “beomgyu, truth or dare?”
beomgyu paused for a moment, then answered simply “truth.”
“you’re starting off easy?” he asked, the words rolling off his tongue with a playful, yet mischievous tone “well then- beomgyu, do you have a crush?”
“yes.” he answered shortly. beomgyu was sitting right across from you, and you could notice his body slowly tensing up as his arms hugged his waist tighter.
“and is your crush by any chance here with us?” yeonjun probed on further.
“that’s 2 questions” beomgyu frowned, looking at him.
“you didn’t let me finish.” yeonjun raised his hands defensively.
“yes- they are.” he answered then took a sip of his beer. however, what you failed to notice was him sneaking a glance in your direction as he said that.
everybody around you let out an “ooo” at beomgyu’s answer; people were giggling and nudging beomgyu, teasing him to reveal the name of the person. for some reason, the fact that he had a crush was tugging at your heartstrings. you were secretly hoping that the person he was talking about was you, but you weren’t ready to admit that to yourself.
“my turn now-“ beomgyu took another sip, his eyes scanned the room, then stopped on your figure. “y/n, truth or dare?”
you pondered for a moment. “truth.” you didn’t want to be the first one to try a dare, even if it was from beomgyu. he smiled “have you ever been in a relationship?” he asked, eyes sparkling from the light of the fire.
“no, actually.” you sighed “i was always too busy stressing over school- and look where that got me” you looked down and chuckled drily.
beomgyu nodded, seemingly getting a bit lost in thought. he wanted to continue, to talk to you more, but he restrained himself from doing so. he knew that this wasn’t the right moment to discuss your private life, not with everyone else around.
“let’s see- who should be the next victim?” you clicked your tongue “soobin- what do you prefer?”
───⋆☆─────────────
two hours of truth or dare later, soobin’s last shot was the one that tipped him off, and yeonjun offered to guide him back home before he had the chance to throw up on the beach. a few people stated that they were going to the bathroom, but in fact never returned; you didn’t want to know why. yeji was too tired to stay there any longer, so she left you behind. meaning, it was only you and beomgyu left on the now quiet beach. the fire was dying down, and beomgyu scooted closer to you, offering to share a blanket.
“how does one more round sound?” he asked you.
“i wouldn’t mind that” you laughed, feeling a bit nervous all of a sudden.
“truth or dare?” beomgyu whispered.
“dare.”
“dare, huh...?” he muttered “i dare you to dive into the water.” beomgyu smirked, playfully tilting his head to the side.
you were taken aback by his words, but your stubbornness didn’t allow you to back down.“okay.” you said, looking into his eyes. “turn around then. i don’t want my dress to get wet.”beomgyu’s eyes widened, clearly not expecting you to accept his dare. still, he did just like you asked.
you slid your dress off, then carefully placed it on one of the seats. you inhaled air deeply into your lungs as you approached the water, then jumped straight in, trying to get this over with as quickly as possible.
“truth or dare?” you shouted.
“dare.” beomgyu shouted back.
“i dare you to join me.”
beomgyu wasted no time taking off his shirt then quickly diving into the water, splashing you in the process. you immediately returned the favour when he got back up to the surface.
“hey- you’re gonna pay for that” he jokingly threatened you.
“make me.”
you both attacked each other with water, only the sound of your laughter filling up the quietness of the now peaceful night. “okay- i surrender.” beomgyu shouted again, catching your wrists with his hands to finally make you stop. he got closer to you, your laughter dying down as his close proximity made you feel nervous.
“you look so beautiful in the moonlight” he said as he hooked his finger around yours, guiding you around in the water. and you followed him mindlessly, as if you as if he’s got you right under his spell. his hands detached themselves from your own, moving to your waist. and you were so close to him, nose to nose, his breath combining his yours, his eyelashes tickling your lids- and yet, you still couldn’t allow yourself. you couldn’t allow yourself to be victim of your foolish desires.
you looked over your shoulder, worried that someone might have come back and noticed what was happening. what if someone saw you two? saw the two of you fooling around in the blue waves of the sea, what if someone saw his fingers trailing your back or how your own nested at his nape? your brain kept thinking of all the possible ways you might get in trouble, fighting to remain in power as his hot breath gathered itself at your neck, distracting yourself from any rational thoughts.
“y/n! are you still here?” you suddenly heard a voice shouting, which you recognised was yeji’s.
“yeah-“ you shouted back “don’t worry, i’ll be back soon no need to wait for me”
“send me a text when you leave!” she shouted again before walking away.
you looked at beomgyu with apologetic eyes.
“guess i can’t have you all for myself tonight.” he looked at you with a soft smile, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear “yeji’s stealing you away from me again.” he laughed.
“i’m sorry...” you whispered, lowering your head.
"there's no need to apologise", he said, a beat of heart and a pause following his words, "it's getting late anyway, you should rest, especially after such a night." the wind picked up your sigh before it could reach him, before it could whisper to him to come closer again, to take a step towards you, warm hands to envelop your waist and soft hair locks to tickle your skin again. you took a step back. "what an eventful night" you said under your breath. "what an eventful night", he picks up your words just as they roll off your tongue, giving you a smile. the air between you kept getting thicker and thicker, unspoken words and wishes weighing the both of you further into the soft shore. “wait just a second- i’ll be right back.” he rushed to get out of the water and sprinted to the bar. as he was coming back you could see him holding a small towel, which he handed to you.
“here, it’s nothing much, but i thought it might help you dry off- at least a little bit” he said rubbing the nape of his neck.
“it’s great” you smiled “thank you, beomgyu.”
he was also holding something behind his back, which he only revealed after you were done using the towel and putting your dress back on.
“have this too...” he looked away, the tips of his ears turning a pretty shade of pink. “i don’t want you to feel cold” he was holding out his white button up shirt for you to wear. you could feel your body reacting the same way as you thanked him and slided your arms into the sleeves. the faint scent of his cologne lingering on the soft material setting your heart on fire.
the walk back home was quiet, spent with the both of you sneaking a few shy glances at each other, his hand brushing against your ever so often, itching to hold yours again. for the first time during your stay you were disappointed that your house was so close to the beach, because it meant that you and beomgyu had to part ways so quickly.
“oh! your shirt- i almost forgot. let me take it off-“ 
his hands reacted fast, stopping you before you could do that “no- keep it, please. it looks good on you”
“o-oh. thank you” you stuttered. the both of you hesitated to part ways once again, too enticed by each other’s presence.
───⋆☆─────────────
beomgyu's ending | yeonjun's ending
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taglist: @huekalover3000 @maybabe00 @sunoooism
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mmflvrrs · 4 months
Text
CIRCLES || B.H
DESCRIPTION | You and your best friend visit the pool on a hot day in Hawkins. You weren’t expecting to see your ex-boyfriend, Billy working this Friday afternoon.
PAIRING | Billy Hargrove x fem!reader
WARNINGS | Light angst, spitting, oral (f & m receiving), degradation (slut, whore), slight daddy kink, making out, cursing, P and V sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, or else), marking, biting, fingering, rough sex, overstimulation, some fluff, aftercare.
WORD COUNT | 1.72k
DISCLAIMER | THIS WORK IS NOT STOLEN I AM REDOING MY ACCOUNTS INSTEAD OF HAVING ONE MULTIFANDOM ACCOUNT!!!! THIS IS REPOSTED FROM ONE OF MY OWN ACCOUNTED
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GIF by fan-ficwriter2000
You and Billy had been on and off for the last few months, but never like this. This felt for real. You had always been going in circles with billy, break up, fuck, get back together, repeat.
You had been moping around for weeks, when your friend Amanda finally drags you to the pull on a day you knew Billy wouldn't be working but, to your surprise Billy was working that Friday afternoon.
"Should we leave?" Amanda asked not wanting you to go back into the funk you had been in the past few weeks.
"No, just ignore him," you sighed leaning back in your chair.
You tried your best to ignore Billy but, you knew that you were still in love with him, and knew that you would always be. He may not have been the nicest but he was the one for you. You both knew it but that never stopped your emotional intimacy issues from getting in the way.
You caught yourself stealing glances at him every chance you got. He only started noticing this now. As he caught your eye he sent you a smirk. That damned smirk.
You immediately looked away vowing not to look again.
"y/n I see the way you keep looking over there..." your friend trailed off, "If you really miss him, go talk to him."
"You don't get it Mands, This break up is different."
"How so?" She questioned. You struggled to answer, you honestly didn't know hot this differed from the others but, you something felt off.
"It just is mands," You sighed looking down once again, "Maybe you were right, maybe we should just go."
You turned to look over at Billy once more, but this time he was already looking at you. You felt like you could melt just from the feeling of him looking up your body.
You returned the gaze, you saw him mouth, 'can we talk please?' as he made a begging motion with his hands. You sighed nodding. "I'll be make mands."
After Billy got Heather to take over life guarding, he made his way over to you.
"What Billy?" You asked standing infront of him.
"I miss you, babe," He said making a pouty face," Why cant we be us again?" He said as he ran his fingers along your arms.
Your breathe hitched feeling heat radiate from your car at the contact, "Billy.."
"I know you miss me," He said whispering your ear leaving a kiss on your neck just below.
"Billy.." You started before he pulled away, interrupting you," Tell me you miss me and I'm yours."
"I miss you Billy," you sighed watching as he smirked.
"Stay til my shift is over?" He asked smiling down at you.
You nodded smiling as you made your way back to your chair.
"Where'd you go?" Mands asked, "You still wanna leave?"
"No, I'm going to stay til closed.." you said not making eye contact with her.
"You sneaky little thing," She said shaking her head," You were with Billy weren't you?"
You sighed and found yourself nodding, once again.
"Well then, I have to be home for dinner, you sure you'll be okay here til closing?"
"Yes, Mands, thanks"
You stayed tanning in the chair until the sun went down. Once Billy finished his closing duties, he came over to you. Sitting beside you on the chair.
"When did you get this?" He asked as he traced the small tattoo that was located on your hip just below your swim suit bottems.
"A few days ago.. I needed a change."
He nodded, "You ready to go?"
"Yeah," You smiled putting a your shirt back on, taking his hand.
You both made your way to his car. As he drove back your apartment, he placed his hand on your thigh, slowly inching it up, once it reached the line of your bathing suit bottoms you realized the growing wetness pooling between yours legs.
"Billy.." you whispered as his fingers slowly dipped below the cloth covering your core.
"God Baby," He groaned, "Your so fucking wet."
He brought his hand out pulling over the car. "Come here baby," He said patting his lap. You kneeled over, straddling his lap. His lips connecting with yours. You were in pure bliss at the feeling of his lips trailing down from yours marking your neck.
"Take this off for me, yeah" Billy said, tugging at the bottom of your shirt. You nodded removing the shirt.
His lips quickly connected with your skin once again. His hands grasped your tits. "God babe, you have such a good rack." You moaned at his words.
"Billy- please!" you needed more the friction of his growing bulge pressing against your core was to much.
"Tell me what you want, baby."
"I want you to touch me," You whispered throwing your head back at the feeling of his lips on continuing their attack on your neck.
"You want me to touch you like the slut, you are?" He asked looking at you like you were something he was going to destroy.
You nodded at his words. His hand slowly traveled down from your tits, to your aching core, His hand dipped below the fabric. He spread the pool of wetness around your clit, rubbing soft circles around the sensitive nub.
"Oh fuck!" you moaned as your hands immediately lacing into his hair. yanking at the roots. He loved the feeling much more than he would admit.
His fingers slipped between your folds and into your throbbing pussy. The feeling of his fingers curling inside of you, lead you to the feeling of preassure building up inside you.
"Fuck, Billy more," You moaned as you began to grind against his fingers.
"Your such a slut, y/n" He laughed at the neediness. "Thats it baby, keep fucking yourself against my fingers like the needy little whore you are."
You were trembling at the amount of pleasure building inside you.
"Oh Billy," You moaned as the pleasure finally released. Your walls tightened around his fingers.
"Fuck y/n, such a good girl for me," He smirked, placing a kiss to his lips.
"Let's finish this back at your place," He smirked, knowing that you wanted him right here and now.
"Billlyy, please baby."
He shook his head smirking, as he moved you back into the spot next to him.
You knew two could play this game. As Billy began to drive home, you placed a hand over his bulge jerking it threw his shorts.
"Y/n..." He warned, looking over at you.
"what?" You asked innocently.
You began to tug the shorts and underwear that were covering his bulge down just enough for his dick to spring up against his stomach. Your hand immediately working it.
"fuck," Billy moaned at the feeling of you working his dick.
"Eyes on the road baby," You smiled innocently as you moved your head towards his aching cock. Your lips meeting the tip leaving a delicate kiss before sucking harshly.
You continued to suck at the tip before pushing your head down, towards the base of his cock. Your eyes watered as the tip hit the back of your throat over and over again.
You felt the car come to a stop as Billy pulled your head up from his cock.
"Your such a whore," He smirked at you.
You made your way into your apartment Billy following close behind. Once you were in your bedroom he didn't waste a second before connecting your lips.
Your bathing suit didn't leave much to the imagination but, Billy tore them off anyway.
"I wanna taste you so, bad baby," He whispered against your lips.
When you felt his warm breathe against your lips you were immediately turned on.
He pushed you onto the bed, kneeling at the edge.
His tongue finding your clit without a second to spare. His arms held your legs down, as he continued to lick at your clit.
He continued licking at your clit, the pleasure nearly unbearable.
"Fuck daddy- please!" you moaned at the continuous pleasure.
He stopped after hearing what you said, "what did you just say?" He questioned.
"Billy-" You too just realized what you had said, you had talked about the pet name before but this was the first time you had used it.
"You little slut." He smirked, hovering over you, "You want me to make you a mommy?" He questioned leaning down to mark your neck once again.
He didn't give you the chance to say anything before he plunged his cock deep inside of you.
"fuck- billy" You moaned out as your hands clawed at his back. He was pounding into you harder than ever before.
"Since you wanna be a slut, I'm gonna fuck you like one," He said moving his hand to rub your clit as his cock continuously rubbed against your g-spot.
"Isn't that right baby? You wanna be my little slut," He said forcing you to look him in the eyes.
"mhmmm," you said, at the pleasure building up inside you.
"cum for me slut," Billy demanded as he rubbed at your clit faster.
You obliged at the command as you came unraveled around him. He continued to fuck you as you rode out your high.
He continued to fuck you until he cam inside you, "fuck." He threw his head back continuing to plunge into you riding out his high.
He pulled out laying beside you, "God, baby I missed you." He said placing a delicate kiss to your lips.
"I missed you too," you smiled.
"Let me clean you up," He said, running to the bathroom to get a damp cloth.
He came back wiping you bottom half, before getting you a shirt and panties to change into. He slipped back on his underwear and returned next to you into the bed.
You snuggled into him laying against his chest. "Billy.." you said as you ran your fingers along his chest, "Yes?"
"I'm sorry I broke up with you," you said looking up at him, "I let my anxiety get to me," you sighed continuing to trace shapes along his chest.
"Baby, I promise, you're the one for me," He said kissing your forehead and pulling you closer.
218 notes · View notes
leggerefiore · 10 months
Note
What would the villains call their beloved? Would they have different nicknames for them in bed?
cw: light sex mentions, mostly fluff, Minors DNI
characters: Lysandre, Maxie, Archie, Cyrus, Volo, Guzma
🔥Lysandre🍷
☕️ Honestly, he calls you too many affectionate names, ranging from his mother tongue over to whatever language you speak. It almost seems as if he has forgotten your actual name at times. Though, when he does call it out, it probably frightens you a bit. It becomes such a rare occurrence that you expect something bad. Lysandre sees no need to change what he refers to you as in public or not, too. The only time he may drop it all together was for anything related to business.
☕️ He tends to lean towards things like “my love” or “my dear,” but “darling” and even “my angel” when he is feeling oddly emotional. Sycamore gives a laugh at all the endearments that he counts whenever you both visit. It is genuinely loving when coming from him, as he rarely feels so strongly and lovingly towards another person.
☕️ In bed, nothing changes too much. He prefers to lather on affection and love wherever he can. Though, oddly, the frequency in which your actual name is spoken increases in more intimate moments. It seems he finds the use of your actual name something deeper than most of the affectionate terms be usually spills out.
“My love,” Lysandre's deep voice called out to you while you were slipping on your shoes to leave. You were shocked to see him home so early. He rarely came home near the midafternoon, often inundated with work or whatever else came up in his professional life. An arm came around you warmly as he pressed a kiss to your cheek and then to your lips. “Where are you going?” You sighed slightly. No where now, you supposed, while leaning into the warmth of his embrace.
☀️Maxie🌋
🪨 He struggles a lot with endearments. It honestly is a bit embarrassing how he feels trying to think of what he could possibly call you. Maxie felt there was no need for such things. Despite that, however, he found himself with a few to use in private with you. In public, he was much too formal to even dare call you anything but your name. He did not wish to seem overly soft. His reputation as the leader of Team Magma was important.
🪨 Though, as soon as you both are alone, a “beloved” escapes him. He prefers more “formal” affectionate terms. “Dearest” and “my love” are also not so uncommon. Yet, sometimes he does drift to something softer, like calling you “Numel.” He always catches himself after that one, gets flustered, and denies that he even said it. It is a real compliment, rest assured, as he finds the pokemon utterly adorable.
🪨 Maxie does not really use different terms during sex. (Though, “Numel” certainly does not make an appearance there.) There is something a little bit funny about his flustered face and moans mixed with the term “beloved” escaping his lips. Since sex falls firmly in his private time with you, there is no reason for his choice of endearments to change, he feels.
You heard the door click open as you laid on the couch, bored. “I'm home, beloved,” Maxie's voice called out as he entered the room. He had been away all day, busy with whatever his group was doing nowadays. You perked up at the sight of him and rushed over immediately. He flinched as you squeezed him into a tight hug, nuzzling into the knit texture of his sweater. He was so warm. “My, what's this?” the Magma leader chuckled. Shifting out of his work mindset, he allowed himself to embrace you in return. He had come to love you greeting him after a long day of work. “I missed you, too,” he sighed and pressed a gentle kiss to your head. When you gazed up at him with lidded eyes and a tired expression, he had to bite back, mumbling out a “Numel.”
🌊Archie🌧
💧 How many marine and pirate terms can this man use to refer to you? It truly is a mystery as to where he finds all of these terms in his head, but you suppose he was nothing if not obsessed with the ocean. Archie honestly prefers endearments to your real name, clearly a sign of his affection if his calling a certain kid scamp was anything to go by. He nearly always refers to you by some pet name or endearment that has crossed.  Worries do cross your mind that he has actually forgotten your name. (You test him to make sure he has not. Archie was extremely confused by this afterward, but he passed it with ease.)
💧 “Luvdisc” is his favourite term to use overall, clearly enchanted by the association with the pokemon to long-lasting relationships. “Treasure” is another favourite, but somehow gets outshone by the fish. There are also a few “darlin's” that come from him when he tries to change up hos dialogue a bit. Maxie gags at his gratuitous use of the terms around him, but everyone else thinks it is pretty run-of-the-mill for Archie. He is just an affectionate guy, so why would that not reflect in what he calls his lover? You certainly do not mind.
💧 Within the confines of sheets, he does tend to lean more towards the use of “treasure.” He feels a bit to overcome to really even say Luvdisc. Besides, you clearly are a treasure, somehow even more precious than his beloved ocean. There may also be a few more easier terms tossed around, like just straight up “love.” His brain power is going elsewhere in those moments, please excuse him. Though, if he ever uses the term love and you are not heading in an intimate direction, rest assured that you are now.
“Luvdisc,” Archie's voice travelled across the beach with a near terrifying volume. You peeked up from your phone as he rushed to your side. His grin was bright and his form as caught in the hot sun beautifully. His favouritism for a certain nickname for you was always apparent. He squeezed you in a tight embrace, even spinning you around for a moment. “Ah, there's my treasure. Thought I'd lost for a moment,” he let out a sigh. You nearly let one out, too. You were just about to call him, but that was clearly unneeded now. A kiss was shared between you both before settling down on the sands to enjoy the afternoon.
🌌Cyrus🛰
☄️ He refuses to use terms of endearment when literally anyone else is around. Cyrus is not one for allowing himself to seem influenced or emotional. While he may love you dearly, there is not a chance he would express that in the sight of other people. It almost becomes expected for your name to called out by the blue-haired man when he wants your attention. It would be a bit depressing if you were not already aware of how restrained he was. There are a few rare moments a more affectionate term slips from him with people around, but that usually is reserved for when he is in distress.
☄️ But, he does allow himself a momentary escape when alone with you. “Beloved” is his go to and typically the only one he ever seems to use. It fits him oddly. Though, he also uses other terms more sparingly. A “dear” and “wife/husband/spouse” are generally used, too. It may seem a bit stiff, especially when paired with how standoffish Cyrus could be, but it was clear from how he unconsciously shifted to them that discreetly showed that he truly cared. No one else gets called by anything but their name by him, after all. You are even allowed to call him whatever you please with people around. His soft spot for you is more than apparent.
☄️ As for in bed… He barely uses different terms. Beloved does seem to be ditched in favour of the convenience that “dear” provides in his stricken state. His brain is not working as he intends it to. He struggles to say a lot during sex usually, anyway, so it is a bit invigorating to hear the affectionate word escape his lips. Though, if he does say your actual name, that either means he is truly overcome with feelings or upset. It is pretty easy to find out which it is.
"Beloved..." Cyrus mumbled out as you nuzzled into his nape. Your arms were tightly around his waist. He had just come home after a few days away due to his plans.
“Beloved…” Cyrus mumbled out as you nuzzled into the nape of his neck. Your arms were tightly around his waist. He had just come home after a few days away due to his work on his plans. You did not say a word as you continued to cling to him. The Galactic Boss knew better than to wonder why you were being so affectionate. Your incomplete spirit begged for you to crave his attention and affection. He sighed. It was not like he could pretend that he was much better. Not when he enjoyed the feeling of your body pressed against his so much. One of his arms came around your waist. “I apologise for being away for so long…” he pressed a chaste kiss to your temple, “Let's enjoy this time we have together.” You finally peered up at him with a loving gaze.
💫Volo📜
⭐️ Truthfully, he uses endearments extremely sparingly. There is something that he finds about referring to other people with a term that shows how much you feel about them very uncomfortable. Though, with you, it is quite unfortunate how easy the terms slip off his tongue. Volo supposes a part of it is how obvious he wants to make your relationship to any observers. He would admit he does have a slight jealous schism internally. Of course, he does it for you, too. The blond is fully aware of how much you enjoy hearing him call you such sweet terms.
⭐️ He usually falls into the camp of things like “love,” “dear,” and “darling.” Traditional time-tested things. There is a certain mocking tone he may take after everything is said and done by calling you a “chosen one.” That falls somewhere between a genuine endearment and him being cruel, however. Most people will also get sick with him referring to you as his partner/girlfriend/boyfriend. It is clear to most people paying attention that it some strange from a claiming on his part. Of course, you can only stare at him in adoration whenever he uses them.
⭐️ Alas, Volo definitely drops a lot of his loving facade in bed. His tone can be that of someone filled completely with love or malice, depending on the situation. The terms are the same, but he may also lean more towards sneering out a “chosen one” to vent out some of his frustrations. Just be happy it is with his dick consensually this time and not trying to have Giratina kill you this time around. He may also use a bit more degrading terms, but telling him off usually makes him stop.
“Oh, if it isn't my love,” Volo's voice was recognisable, but especially so when you two met while you were out doing research tasks. His smile was nothing but friendly as he approached you. “Can I interest you in some more pokeballs?” his tone was teasing now. You sighed as tugged on his bag's strap to pull him down to your height. These random run-ins have become more common since you started dating. It was more than obvious he likely had an eye out for you… And was neglecting his merchant duties once again. You could not complain when he pecked a quick kiss to your lips. It seemed you both would be spending a decent amount of time along together in the wilds of Hisui.
🕶Guzma💀
□ This big, bad boss loves calling you whatever pet name he can think of. He literally probably only says your name if he is asking someone else for you. Guzma just does not really see a point in not doing it. He basically calls everyone by nicknames. Except for Kukui, but he is an exception, not the rule. He does not care about whether it is socially acceptable or not, he just does what he wants and isn't concerned with the looks he gets for saying “babe.”
□ He leans towards more casual, modern terms. “Babe” is one of the bigger ones, but he will occasionally bring out a “cutie” or “sexy.” The latter often gets him a few side eyes. A rarer one that seems to only used when he is certain no one else is around is “love-bug.” You try not to laugh at it because you can tell he is trying his best to combine his love for bug-types with his feelings for you. Though, you saw Plumeria choke out a laugh when she heard him say it to you once. It was a bit funny seeing Guzma say such a thing while trying to keep up his edgy appeal.
□ In bed, he does not really change what he says too much. Cutie may not rear its head, but sexy and babe are certainly a plenty. He may even combine if he feels so inclined. Though, it may also be a product of him losing his mental focus in the throes of passion. Your name is occasionally blurted out within the brain-mush of words, too. He is a bit of a mess, honestly.
“Hey, babe!” Guzma's voice stood out among the crowd of people that had taken over the usually quiet route. Rumours about some rare pokemon apparently drew them in, making it annoying to navigate despite needing to. His hand caught your arm as he pulled you under his own, determined not to get separated again. You heard him mumble something about annoying tourists under his breath as both managed to get out of the crowded place. “What the hell is so great about that many Meowths?” he complained, “If they wanna see a collection, I'd be happy to point them to that Kahuna's house.” You chuckled at the thought. Guzma only pressed you more into his side while walking down the route. It seemed like showing you the Wimpod nest would be on hold for today.
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paradiseprincesss · 4 months
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Ooo I have been loving ALL your fics and your robert fischer one gave me an idea… the reader is a call girl who grew up poor, he hires us and after a while slowly falls in love with her and feels guilty and happy ending for both of my sad babies🥹
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pov - robert fischer x reader
hi anon! I'M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG but i love this - robert fischer will always be a soft character in my mind, i feel like he's just...like that. i just feel like he's a sad and lonely guy with the sweetest heart - i need a robert fischer in my life fr.
summary: as a call girl, your life was chaotic. ever since you were a little girl you had struggled with both self acceptance and self love, but you suddenly meet a client who changes your perspective of everything you thought you knew.
word count: 4,444 exactly lol
warnings: smut 18+ minors dni!!, oral (fem!receiving), p in v, kissing, swearing, mentions of toxic household, daddy issues, mentions of escorting/prostitution lol
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…to be loved is to be changed.
you never know when you'll meet the one that changes everything - fate is funny that way. you don't know when they'll show up in your life, maybe you already know them, maybe you don't.
"god, you have no idea what it's like for me! i was struggling to pay my tuition. i'm doing what i have to do to get by, mom!" you scream, tears streaming down your face.
"then go get a job," she yelled back at you, "being some old mans escort is not a real job!"
"i'm- jesus, i'm a call girl it's- it's just different, okay? and it pays well. i can't continue to pay for college if i don't do this. you know a regular job doesn't pay shit." you say, your hands trembling as you argued with your mom.
the one figure in your life that was supposed to show you unconditional love wasn't there for you; but you didn't hold any animosity towards her. she was struggling as much as you were. did.
not anymore.
you hated this - fighting and arguing with her. it hurt you deeply. but, you did what you had to do to get by. your father wasn't in the picture, and your mother worked two jobs but that was barely enough to make ends meet.
your whole childhood was tumultuous, you grew up in a home with a single parent, the other one gone without a trace. you didn't know love growing up, and honestly, it fucked up your perception of the world - of the word love.
you put your all into school; it was the only thing that distracted you from your home life, and you were good at it. you managed to get pretty good grades in high school, no less than an A- in any subject you took, and post-graduation, you got into a pretty good college in your area.
you had moved out the day you turned eighteen, eager and excited to go out and blossom in life; but reality hit you, hard.
rent was expensive, and paying for college? god, that was a struggle in itself. you worked the odd job here and there, whether it was a cashier job or waitressing job, but neither paid enough. you did a little online research and came across escorting. the only thing that really enticed you was the paycheque - and my goodness was it a hefty one.
you kept this life of yours a secret - but you told your mom the truth earlier when she came by to visit you. she was surprised to see the apartment you were living in; decked out and lavish. she'd asked you where you had gotten the money to pay for this from, and you told her what you were doing.
turns out your mother wasn't too happy about her daughter being a glorified escort, and after arguing with you, she slammed the door in your face, which left you a sobbing mess.
but at least you had money now, right?
after scoring a position with a lucrative company which you couldn't disclose for...certain reasons, you received your first job. then you booked another, and another, and soon, you were a top money maker there.
with a face like that and the body you had - you were not short on cash, let's just say that. you were getting paid thousands just to make appearances with rich men - and getting paid tens of thousands to sleep with them.
as much as you loved the cash, you were miserable on the inside. money got boring after a while, it was just another part of your unexciting, depressing, melancholy life.
diamonds and designer bags couldn't fix the hole in your heart, they couldn't fix the emptiness that lingered within you.
if there was someone who understood this feeling better than anyone else - it was robert fischer.
sure, he never grew up poor or struggled to have money, but he knew damn well that money couldn't solve all your problems. in fact, having a lot of money came with more problems, he thought.
robert didn't know love - it was unfamiliar to him. none of his ex-girlfriends loved him, they just loved his money. they didn't care about him, they just cared about cashing in.
and every time he broke it off with them, they would tell him "don't leave, i miss you" - but he knew better than that. they didn't miss shit but the money, designer bags, and the lavish lifestyle.
after a particularly agonizing day at work, robert came home to his penthouse; head clouded with stress. honestly, it had been months since he had sex - been forever since he just felt loved or had any form of intimacy.
he craved it real bad.
so, he sighed as he dialled the number on his phone, waiting as the line rung quietly. quickly, someone answered and he put in his request - "i'll give you fifteen grand to send over your best girl," was all he said over the phone, quickly giving his address over afterwards.
and that is the story of how you ended up as robert fischers personal call girl - but that was just the beginning.
when you first met robert, you were pleasantly surprised. usually, your clientele consisted of old, rich men who were (at least in your opinion) disgusting. however, robert on the other hand was handsome, young, kind and rich on top of all that.
he was your best client thus far, and you were his favourite girl - not that he had any other girls, anyway. he paid you way more than any other man did, and he tipped generously on top of that.
soon enough, you were only seeing robert - exclusively. for work reasons of course. and he tried to tell himself that, too. that this was just sex. it didn't mean anything, right?
wrong.
he pushed you down onto the bed gently, running his hands all over your body while his lips caught yours in a deep kiss. today, you were waiting for him in his penthouse wearing a baby pink, lacy babydoll with matching pink panties and some stockings.
robert damn near lost his mind when he saw you in your lingerie, his cock was straining against his pants the second he laid eyes on you - sprawled out on his bed, biting your lip teasingly.
"fuck, i love you in pink." he groaned against your lips - but what he was really trying to tell you was "i love you."
he positioned you so that you were now sat up against the headboard of his bed, propped up against the plush pillows looking like a princess. slowly, he took his hand up to your thigh, blue eyes still locked with yours, and teasingly started to take your stockings off. he did it excruciatingly slow with the other one, too.
once your stockings were off, he looked at you with admiration. he truly thought you were the prettiest thing he had ever seen. ethereal. "can i?" he asked softly, his hands now trailing down your inner thighs, dangerously close to your clothed heat.
"m-mhm." you hum with a small nod, trying not to lose your mind. keeping your composure around him was proving to become more and more difficult every time.
he hooked his finger into the waistband of the tiny, lacy, pink thong and pulled it down your legs, groaning softly at the sight of your cunt all soaked for him.
"you're soaked. i can see it." he said lowly, and it takes every fucking ounce of self restraint you have in your body not to moan at the way he says it.
"y-yeah. s'cause of you, robbie." you say softly as he spreads your legs open, his mouth watering at the sight. he peppered kisses onto the insides of your thighs, teasingly kissing everywhere except where you so desperately needed him to kiss you.
"please." you whisper, and that was all he needed to hear before he was lapping up your pretty pussy. he licked a stripe up your cunt and you let out a desperate moan at the feeling of his mouth on you.
he continued to eat you out as if it was the last thing he'd ever do, making your head spin. you were moaning his name over and over, begging him to let you cum on his face as he sucked on your clit.
he took one of his fingers and slowly started to pump it in and out of your soaking hole. "oh fuck, i-i need you inside of me." you pleaded, feeling yourself getting closer and closer to release.
"only if you cum on my tongue, baby." he says between your legs, and you started to gasp and moan as you felt your orgasm approach you at full speed.
"i'm- gonna cum!" you desperately cry, feeling yourself cream all over his face as he took every last drop of it.
he sat up wiping his mouth and chin, glistening with your slick, and smiled at you dopily - he was in heaven.
“lay back on the bed for me, princess.” he commanded softly, and you oblige immediately. as you find comfort within the huge, king-sized bed and soft pillows, he unbuttoned his white dress shirt and undid his tie, taking it off while you watched like a predator stalking its prey.
next came his slacks, which he was rushing to get out of. as his cock sprung free from his boxers, your body felt like it was going into overdrive. robert got between your legs and took hold of your hips before lining his cock up with your drooling entrance.
slowly, he pushed in and the both of you let out sinful sounds. sex never had any meaning for you - it was just your profession, you didn’t know any different. but when he was inside you, when you let him into you - things felt...different.
robert was in way too deep to get out now (both figuratively and literally), and he slowly started to thrust himself in and out of you at a slow pace. one thing you noticed about robert, especially when you guys were fucking, was that he never broke eye contact.
nobody had ever fucked you so sensually before, let alone with such care. he fucked into you gently, the both of you moaning and breathing heavily, and he got lost in your pretty eyes.
he loved you - and he knew it was wrong.
it was the one thing you shouldn’t do when hiring a call girl - fall in love with her. he knew he shouldn’t fall in love with a woman who’s literal job was to pretend that she loved you and fuck you right, but he couldn’t help it.
robert - like you - didn’t know what love was until he felt you. until he knew you.
“f-fuck, faster robbie.” you whispered, breathless and feeling almost out of touch with reality with how good he felt inside you - it was like he was made for you.
“god, you’re so fucking tight. you- ugh, you feel so good, baby.” robert moaned, and you could almost hear the desperation in his voice. “i’m already about to cum, jesus-“ he stammered, voice strained.
“then cum, ah-.” you urged, wrapping your arms around him in a way that was a little too intimate for it to just be part of your job.
“how much extra do you want, ten grand?” he panted as he fucked your pretty pussy, feeling you tighten up around his hard cock.
“wha- robbie, what?” you try to talk properly through the pleasure he was bringing you; it was overwhelming. you weren’t sure why he was bringing up payments and money now of all times, this had been discussed already at the beginning of…whatever this agreement was.
“how much to make you mine? please - i love you.” he said, losing himself in the feeling of you.
you felt your mouth go dry as the words fell from his lips, and in a panic you struggle from underneath him, trying your hardest to push him away.
“wait- wait, stop-“ you say all flustered and panicked. this wasn’t supposed to happen - this should never happen between you and your clients.
he stops as soon as you say the word, and you backup into the the headboard of the bed anxiously, grabbing the blankets to cover yourself up as soon as he had pulled out.
you had never known love before, so when you heard those words, it sent you into an abysmal spiral.
“i-i’m sorry, i just-“ he stammered, the two of you looking each other awkwardly, and robert felt his heart break in two silently.
“don’t apologize, it’s my fault.” you sigh, looking down.
“no, cmon- i shouldn’t have said that.” he said back, and you glanced at him for a second - he looked like he was hurting. like it physically hurt him to tell hear you turn him down in a sense.
you felt a tear run down your cheek, and you wiped it away, already embarrassed enough. this had never happened in front of a client before.
was robert just a client, though?
before you had a chance to answer your own question, robert answered it for you. he took his hand out, gentle and soft, and wiped the tears away from your cheek.
“what’s going on?” he spoke softly, and you just shook your head, avoiding all eye contact.
“i- please, i’m so embarrassed. i’m sorry. you don’t need to pay me for today.” you whisper.
he shakes his head, and grabs a robe that he had draped over the ottoman in front of his bed, and quickly threw it on. you stayed with the covers pulled up over your chest and the rest of your body, watching him carefully.
he approaches you cautiously, and without another word he pulls you into his embrace - warm and inviting, just like him.
it felt like the missing piece in your chaotic, incomplete puzzle that you called your life.
words failed you in that moment, but it felt foreign. the feeling of being loved, being comforted, being vulnerable was new to you. you didn’t know such feelings could exist - at least, you grew up thinking that anyway.
"i'm really sorry, i shouldn't have said that." he said softly, petting your hair gently. "no, it's- fine. i-i don't know why i reacted like that." you reassured him, not quite knowing the reason behind your erratic behaviour.
"we don't have to continue, okay?" he reassures you in a soothing tone, and you let yourself fall into the feeling of his touch and embrace for a moment too long, before coming to your senses.
"t-thank you," you mumble, "i just don't think i'm in a good head space right now."
"and that's okay." he reassures you once again - he was really good at that. "why don't we just end todays session and i'll see you again next week, same time?"
"yeah, okay. i'm sorry, robbie." you murmur, and robert could feel his heart beating rapidly as you said his name like that - the name you called him.
after that, you had left in a rush (and felt super unprofessional about it), profusely apologizing for what had happened but he kept telling you that it was okay.
once you got back to your place, you ran a hot shower for yourself to collect your thoughts and calm yourself down. after that, you got into bed and fell asleep quickly, exhausted from the day you had.
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the next morning, you woke up feeling groggy, and frankly - still super embarrassed from yesterday. cringing at your own actions, you felt like you just wanted to curl up into a ball and never show your face again.
why did you react like that? why did you have to make a scene? why did robert's confession throw you off so badly?
deep down, you knew the answers to these questions.
you reacted like that because you grew up around constant chaos and poverty, you didn't know what it was like to be cared for, to be loved. you made a scene because for someone who's never known love, facing the unknown was terrifying.
but why did robert's confession throw you off? why?
you sat there in bed, wondering. wondering to yourself why he would want you of all people - some call girl he ordered because he was bored. why wasn't he with some other girl who had come from money like him? come from class? why would he chose you?
in that moment, it went right over your head, but his confession threw you off because you didn't feel worthy. you didn't know how to trust - you couldn't see yourself the way robert saw you, after all.
suddenly, you heard your phone buzz beside you. looking a the notification, you found yourself shocked. you had received an e-transfer from robert of double the normal amount he was paying you.
your jaw dropped and you had to re-read the numbers in your account to really make sure this was real. in a state of shock, you look through your contacts and give him a call in the spur of the moment.
"hello?" his slightly raspy morning voice answered, and you felt your heart do a little flip at the sound of it - but you pushed it aside.
"hey, robert, it's me," you say, taking in a breath, "i...you didn't have to pay me, i told you."
he sighed on the other line, "no, i shouldn't have...told you what i did. i'm sorry, i...i've been thinking about it."
you stayed silent, unsure of what to say next, but he continued talking regardless. "can we talk? i'll pay you for your time."
"you don't have to do that, robert. and yes, yeah let's, um, talk." you say to him, and the two of you arrange to meet at his at three.
you get yourself ready, doing your hair in your favourite hair style and your makeup all glamorous, throwing on your favourite saint laurent heels with a matching satin mini dress.
you rush out the door, and hopped into your car, speeding off to his place. usually, he would send a driver out to yours, but you were off the clock. he insisted over the phone, but you urged him that you could drive and it was fine.
as soon as you got to the building of his penthouse, he buzzed you in and you made your way up the elevator. after knocking on the door, he opened it with a small smile on his face. he was wearing the usual - suit and tie, of course.
as he welcomed you in, he told you about the meeting he had at his office earlier that day - hence the whole suit and tie getup.
"anyways, i'm sure i'm boring you with the details about my work meeting." he says, laughing softly and you smile. "not at all, it's refreshing to hear you talk about other parts of your life besides...you know, the usual stuff we talk about."
he smiled back at you, but it seemed he was having trouble getting his words out - he didn't know how to tell you what he wanted to tell you.
"er, please know that, fuck- i just, i didn't mean to scare you away with what i said." he stammered, clearly flustered.
"...what did you mean, robert?" you ask meekly, avoiding eye contact. he slowly steps a little closer, closing the gap between the two of you.
"i have feelings for you." he says, voice strained out of sheer nervousness.
"don't say that," you sigh, "this- us, it isn't real. it's just like, playing pretend."
you so desperately wanted to say, "me too, i fell for you too," but your insecurities stopped you. even though you worked in a profession where you were paid to be pretty, paid to look good as arm candy, you felt inadequate all the time. you didn't feel pretty - you felt indifferent. sometimes, you didn't even know who you were.
there was a lot of baggage that came with you, but it was nothing that would ever scare robert off.
"i know what it's like to 'play pretend,'" he said, emphasizing his words with air quotations, "i've done that for the last ten years of my life - with every woman i've ever dated. they pretended to like me for me and not my money, and i pretended that i didn't see what they were really doing."
"you're literally paying me to sleep with you, robert. this is transactional." you say, trying to convince yourself into thinking that was the truth.
"god- it's not. it's not, you know it, i know it. we both know it." he exasperates, and you look away again as he continues. "i can feel it in the way you touch me, the way you look at me, the way you say my name, i can tell. and i know you can tell by the way i hold you, talk to you - the way i don't want anyone else but you."
as he confessed, you felt your cheeks go pink. you didn't realize that he was this much of a romantic - it was kinda cute. it was obvious that he was so serious about this, but you on the other hand...
you weren't too convinced. you had never received such attention, such care or such...love before.
"why are you lying to yourself?" his voice snapped you out of your anxious thoughts, and you finally found the courage to meet his gaze.
trying your hardest not to get lost in his ocean eyes, you manage to get a response out. "i-i don't know. i guess i just don't understand it. i don't understand how you could like, fall in love with someone who does...what i do."
he sighed softly, tilting your chin up with his finger, forcing you to meet his gaze once again. "let me help you understand, then."
one second you were trying to deny every lovey-dovey feeling you had for him - and the next his lips were on yours. it just happened so naturally.
in that moment, you could feel every insecurity, every anxious thought, every piece of pent up trauma and trust issues subside with him.
he wrapped his arms around your waist lovingly, holding you in his embrace as he kissed you softly.
you were off the clock, and so was he. neither of you were your personas anymore. you weren't just some call girl anymore (not that he ever saw you as just that), and he wasn't robert fischer of fischer morrow right now - he was just yours.
you were the first to pull away from the kiss, and you looked up at him with a small smile, which he returned.
"you have no idea how much i care about you." he whispered softly, "i wish you could see yourself in the way that i see you."
his words struck a chord for sure, and you felt yourself getting teary eyed again. "jesus, robert - stop making me cry." you laugh softly, trying to hold back the tears.
"i want to know who you are - not the usual work stuff. tell me about your life." he said softly, keeping you close.
and so you did - you did exactly that. that evening, you had spent the whole time getting to really know each other. from childhood memories to what you ate for breakfast that day - no parts left out. he told you about himself too, and finally, you felt safe.
you finally felt like the years of walls you had built up were gradually coming down, and all the baggage you accumulated over the years was slowly fading.
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you looked over the terrace of your suite in your lace slip, taking in the beauty of the eiffel tower which you could see from your luxurious hotel room.
"s'pretty, just like you." robert says, wrapping his arms around you from behind, placing a soft kiss behind your ear. "good morning, mrs. fischer."
ah, that's right.
you were mrs. fischer now - newly married and happier than ever. after that fateful night in roberts penthouse, the two of you just clicked. it was fate, no - destiny. it was like something you had never known before, the pull between you two was on a metaphysical level, and for once, you didn't fight the fall.
now, nearly three years later, you were taking in the gorgeous view of paris in the early morning on your honeymoon.
your wedding was beautiful - private and intimate - but beautiful. it was just the way you imagined it would be; everything you dreamed of. robert had proposed to you a week after you graduated from your program in college, and the two of you were happily in love - still happily in love, and always would be happily in love.
you decided to quit your call girl job, as there was no longer a need to work anymore at all. robert covered all of your finances, never once did you ever pick up the bill with him. he supported you in everything that you did, always being there for you and showing up for you when you most needed him.
he never judged you, never belittled you, never made you doubt how much he loved you. it was like he had superpowers with the way he was able to permeate through all the past trauma you had. it didn't matter to him if you were working in the escort business before he came along; he simply didn't care.
your past is in the past for a reason, that wasn't you anymore. you were a different woman now. softer and no longer had her guard up constantly. sometimes, you felt like he knew you better than you knew yourself.
because he loved you for you. he taught you how to be grateful for yourself, to show up for yourself, to love yourself the way he loved you.
"i love you so much, honey. god, i love everything about you." he said softly, kissing down your neck, making you giggle.
"mm, i'd love to see me from your point of view." you say, taking in the breathtaking view of paris, and your new life.
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mysterycitrus · 9 months
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recently finished batgirl 2000 and i'm feeling Insane about her. do you have any opinions on the run? the character herself?
bro cass cain and batgirl 2000 are litchrally on my mind 24/7 and the more i think about her the more unhinged i become. how perfectly she mirrors bruce’s own internal struggle. her love for all things living. her desire to change. her disconnection from everyone in her life by speaking a language only her mother knows. her belief in the good. her absolute self-conviction and confidence to the detriment of her own life. the roses. wow wow wow
the more i read the more ive completely lost patience with comic fans who totally ignore or rebuke her as a character in comparison to bruce’s other kids. talking about the male robins with her noticeably absent is an immediate close tab. “she’s boring” “she’s underdeveloped” “she’s not as interesting” just tells me they’ve never actually read her run, or engaged with her character in good faith. her total exclusion from fan content about the waynes, her absence in fanfic, her reduction to a smiling, placid little girl who isn’t allowed a dissenting opinion. she has a single comic run from the early aughts that’s better than anything published this decade please be so incredibly serious!!!
she’s the most like bruce by any metric. dick understands bruce better than anyone, but cass is bruce, for both the good and bad. he sees her commitment to giving everyone a chance, sees her devotion to life, and is both awed and horrified. there’s a bit outta persephone that i still think about a lot:
Cassandra replies: “I was born into violence. Not to this life, but something worse. I was made to hurt people. I chose differently. I changed the path and found this. This new life, new purpose, new home.” She taps the symbol on her chest. “This, I wear to help people. To protect them. To start each day better, and brighter. The way I grew up… it was isolated, and lonely. I spoke a language no one else understood. There was no kindness because a weapon is to be used. Used to hurt, and cut, and kill. Who cares what a tool thinks?”
in my mind she is thee only choice for batman if bruce retires — for literally anyone else it’d just be character regression. dick would rather kill himself. the cowl would kill tim. jason needs to grow his own morals. damian works better as a narrative foil by attaining his own mantle, his own destiny. if nightwing is what batman could never be, then cass is what batman should be. she cares about the mantle, and has made it her own. she embodies all of bruce’s worst habits, but overcomes them. she is what gotham truly needs.
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darylbae · 4 months
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Pls could you write daryl dixon x fem!reader at the kingdom? carol and ezekiel took in a worn out and struggling woman and have been helping her get back on her feet. daryl comes along and teaches her to hunt and maybe r lost some memory but got a bit back when she shot her first animal w daryl maybe she’s actually a vvv good hunter
crack shot — daryl dixon 🩰
in which you find the kingdom, and an archer who's willing to train you.
note: love this, going to make a lil drabble of this.
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You'd been alone for a long time. You'd survived with your stealth and trusty knives, but it was getting harder. Your backpack of supplies were low, you hadn't found a proper place to settle down, and you'd recently injured yourself trying to hide from a horde of walkers. Until you'd been found passed out from blood loss sat on a branch in a tree. A man, who spoke as if he'd been pulled from a fantasy book, and a woman, who seemed the exact opposite of him. And yet they worked together well enough to get you back to wherever it is they call home. The Kingdom.
That was almost a month ago. You'd spent a long while recovering, getting to know the Kingdom and it's people, and helping out with your very minimal mobility. Turns out your injury had been worse than you or anyone had thought. When Carol, the woman who found you, had sat at your bedside to question you, you appeared to have lost any knowledge of what's happened. Memories muddle into one, not being clear enough to decipher. You'd forgotten a lot of your life before this, but you assumed that was because the world had changed so drastically. You remembered some long-term things, like family members you had, what was happening in the world at this point in time, and where you were born, but everything else had fallen short. It was time to start building you back up. Carol would visit you a lot, bringing you things to eat, taking you around on walks to show you how things are going, and today she had other ideas in mind. "So," Carol sighed, sitting next to your bed once again, "I think you've recovered enough to start doing something. I've asked a friend to train you in dealing with walkers. Just to make sure you can defend yourself still." You nodded, finishing lacing up your boots and getting out of bed. "Who? Jerry? Because I love Jerry." Carol laughed. "No, an old friend of mine offered to help actually. He's waiting outside."
Carol had taken you outside, and stood in front of the both of you, was God himself. Everything you'd liked in a man, he was here. But you pushed those thoughts to the back of your brain, focusing on learning. "This is Daryl," Carol introduced him, and he held the strap of his crossbow on his shoulder, giving you a quick look up and down, and a nod. "He's going to take you hunting today."
The two of you had left the Kingdom, quietly walking towards the woods. "Carol said you forgot everythin'," he mumbled, his voice gruff but it pushed a few buttons for you, "that sucks." "Yeah. It's a strange feeling. I don't really remember much except the family I had, and how the world turned out like this." You explained. "So you're a hunter?" He nodded. "I'm good at it. Been doin' it all my life." "Well I hope I catch a good deer or something for Carol and Ezekiel."
It had been a long, slow day. You'd spent a long time just walking through the woods silently, trying not to scare any wildlife away. With the occasional "come 'ere" from Daryl. But you'd finally found a deer; stood gracefully between two trees, sniffing at the ground. Daryl raised his crossbow, explaining how to use it. "Wait," you exclaimed in a whisper, "can I do it?" Daryl handed you his crossbow, and before he'd opened his mouth about how to hold it, you'd fired the arrow and it landed perfectly into the deer, killing it in the most humane way. He was in shock, analyzing your features for any signs of shock. "You done this before?" He asked, slinging his crossbow over his shoulder again before following you towards the deer. "Maybe? I don't know. It just felt natural to me." You answered, and he was still reeling from how impressed he was. "Have to take you huntin' with me all the time now, crack shot."
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bosbas · 7 months
Text
Alternate Ending: I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs
series masterlist original ending || next part
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pairing: benedict bridgerton x best friend!fem!reader, anthony bridgerton x wife!reader WC: 5.2k words (whoops I got carried away)
Warnings: period-typical gender roles, idiots in love being idiots in love, benedict being so down bad for this woman, unrequited love, pregnancy and discussions around pregnancy/birth
Summary: You and Benedict have been best friends since childhood, but things change dramatically once you come out in society. You’re struggling to find someone you’re as compatible with and who knows you as well as Benedict, all while trying to quell your ever-growing feelings for him. Shenanigans ensue.
A/N: The timeline for this ending diverges after chapter 12!! This is how life would look like if Chapter 13 and onward didn't happen.
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March 3, 1820 - B, 
I apologize for my delayed response – I’m sure you’ll understand that I was a tad occupied giving birth. But she’s finally here! It was easier than the other three, so I'm personally delighted, though Anthony seemed just as stressed as usual. And, as usual, he'll most likely be resting for the next five days. If he ever stops looking at her in awe, that is. It would be quite adorable if I didn't need to wrestle her away from him to nurse her every few hours! 
Although, I will say that Anthony being taken with her has worked out quite well for me. I was able to finish my novel and get a full night's sleep last night. I'd love to see you soon if you're up for it. You can meet her and we can discuss your latest painting, which I heard was absolutely breathtaking. Anthony and I will both be home for the next week at least, so feel free to pop by any time.
Yours, Y/I
You finished addressing the envelope to Benedict right as Anthony walked into your bedroom holding the tiny form of your newborn daughter. Twisting in your seat to face them, you cooed when you saw her fast asleep in his arms. She was wrapped in a soft pink blanket, and you couldn’t help but marvel at her tiny fists opening and closing absentmindedly as she slept. She looked so peaceful in Anthony’s arms, and it was terrifying to think that a human being this small would grow up to be an adult and that you would have to guide her through it. Well, she would have Anthony too, you thought. And the thought did a lot to quell your fears.
For as long as you had known him, Anthony had been a steadfast figure in your life. He’d been the eldest of the Beaumont-Bridgertons, and he certainly acted like it, too. The responsibility he felt for his family was evident in everything he did, and it was one of the qualities you admired most about him. Now, seeing Anthony cradle your newborn daughter with such gentleness and awe only solidified your feelings for him.
You had decidedly not been in love when you had married him, but one couldn’t simply have four children with someone and not develop at least a little affection for them. The two of you had been wonderful friends even before you were married, and you still were, but along the way, it seemed that you had learned to love each other in your own funny sort of way. It wasn’t the sort of all-consuming love you had for Benedict all those years ago, and that perhaps you had still in a corner of your heart. But it was comforting and safe and built upon a deep respect for one another, and your life was all the better for it. 
Perhaps you and Ben had never been destined for a life like this, you thought. Your childhood intention to wed Benedict had been just that: a naïve plan. That night in the studio with Benedict, after he had found out in the most unfortunate manner that you and Anthony were courting, you had needed something safe and constant. And Benedict had given you the complete opposite. For so many years, he had been your anchor, but that night you felt like the ground had fallen away below your feet and you were in free fall. You had so much love for Benedict that you didn’t even know where to put it. You could feel it from your heart to your fingertips, and it was terrifying. You thought about Violet and Edmund in that moment, and how destroyed Violet had been when Edmund passed. The thought of that happening to you and Benedict made you sick. The thought of taking the risk and putting your heart in his hands only for it to crumble. 
Maybe running away from Benedict at that moment was the cowardly thing to do. Maybe you should have faced your fears and given in to the overpowering love. Maybe you should have kissed your best friend and dealt with the consequences later, holding his hand the whole way through. But you hadn’t. You had sought out safety instead, running up the stairs to Anthony’s room and knocking incessantly until he opened the door, eyes startled and hand holding a handkerchief to his cut lip.
“We’re getting married,” you had declared, breathing ragged and arms crossed tightly over your chest. 
“Who’s ‘we’?” he asked, hoping you meant you and Benedict but suspecting otherwise given that you were currently at his door looking furious. 
“You and me. And we’re going to do it as soon as possible.”
Anthony uttered a soft, “Oh.” He didn’t know what else to say. “And Benedict…” he added in a questioning tone.
“No,” you said firmly. “No Benedict.”
He had expected you to say more, but you just stood in front of him, unmoving. 
“I suppose I can start the arrangements,” Anthony said finally. “If you’re sure this is what you want.”
“I am sure.” 
God, Benedict must have truly done something stupid, he thought. “Very well, then.”
“Good night, Anthony. We can inform our families of our engagement tomorrow morning.”
He just nodded in response, still too stunned to fully process your words.
You cleared your throat and your stoic façade faded slightly. “And thank you, Anthony. For everything,” you said, suddenly very aware of what being married to Anthony might mean.
He shook his head. “No, no. It was nothing. You are family.”
A month later, you were married at the church near Aubrey Hall. Benedict barely stayed long enough to see the two of you say your vows, citing an urgent problem with his cottage in the countryside. His family was kind enough not to question his obviously fabricated excuse, but he couldn’t miss the endless looks of pity sent his way. He had been hurt. Well, you had hurt him. You hurt him when you walked away from him, and you hurt him when you announced your engagement to your family without telling him first, but most of all, you hurt him when you chose Anthony even after two decades of history with Benedict. 
Maybe none of your fears would have come true, and you and Ben would have been happy. Maybe he would have treated your heart with the same love and care with which he always treated you. But it didn’t do to dwell on what could have been. Your marriage with Anthony was real. It was concrete and it was grounding, and you couldn’t imagine a more stable presence in your life.
Bringing you out of your musings, you felt Anthony kiss your cheek in greeting and ask, “Do you want to take her?”
You nodded eagerly, setting down the letter in your hand so you could hold your daughter. “I’m surprised you’re willingly letting me have her,” you teased, laughing as Anthony all but collapsed onto the loveseat across from you, clearly exhausted.
He had been an awfully attentive father the past few days, ecstatic to finally have a girl after three boys. Though she had brought out a heightened sense of protectiveness he couldn’t seem to shake. It was rather endearing to see him so frazzled over a baby that weighed less than eight pounds, but you suspected there might be something more to it.
“She’s so tiny!” he defended, gaze fixed on her admittedly minuscule form in your arms. “I can’t help it…” He trailed off, deep in thought. You glanced up at him, noticing the change in his tone and his hunched posture. After five years of marriage, you had him memorized, and reading him came as naturally as reading a book. 
“Is anything the matter?” you asked gently, already having a general idea about what was plaguing him.
But he shook his head, murmuring a soft no and focusing on the writing desk behind you instead. “Is that for Benedict?” he inquired, nodding in the direction of the letter.
“Yes, I’m just telling him that she’s here and asking him to come visit,” you answered, still eyeing him carefully.
“So, he’s coming to visit, then?” pressed Anthony, eyes back on your daughter, who was currently sleeping soundly in your arms.
“Well, I don’t see why he wouldn’t. Why do you ask?” You changed tactics, trying to seem nonchalant about your concern. 
“Alright. That’s good. Yes, that’s good,” he muttered, seemingly satisfied with your answer but his mind was obviously miles away. 
Growing increasingly worried, you stood up and carefully laid your daughter in her crib, ensuring she remained undisturbed. With her settled, you approached Anthony, who hadn't shifted his gaze from where you had been sitting. Kneeling beside him, you reached out and gingerly placed your hand on his. The touch seemed to quiet his restless thoughts, and he turned to meet your eyes, acknowledging the weight of his anxiety.
Anthony spoke softly, carefully. “I just want to make sure that you and the children are taken care of. In case something happens to me. I want you to have someone.”
You should have known that this was what plagued him. During the first year of your marriage, you settled into a comfortable dynamic with Anthony. It was not quite love, but something like it had blossomed between the two of you. However, it was after the birth of your first son, Arthur, that Anthony reached a breaking point. He realized that his grand plan to marry someone he didn’t love to avoid any undue heartbreak was not, in fact, foolproof. Even if there hadn’t been growing affection between you, Anthony completely fell in love with Arthur from the moment he was born. It was like nothing he’d experienced before; beyond anything he could have imagined. And it was terribly frightening. 
He had shared his fears with you–he’d had no choice in the matter when you were as stubborn and insistent as you were–and you had shared that you, too, were scared. But you trusted one another, and so the two of you navigated parenthood in tandem and Anthony’s fears subsided. Regardless, you could understand that the birth of your daughter brought back this fear in full force, and he felt a greater need to protect her from danger than he would with his sons.
“Anthony, I won’t need someone. You’re right here, and you always will be.”
He shook his head, looking at you with desperation in his eyes. “How can you know that?”
You pursed your lips, brows furrowing. “Even if you aren’t, it won’t be your fault. You’re a wonderful father. And a wonderful husband.” 
With a deep sigh, he clasped your hand and stood up, bringing you with him. “Just promise me you’ll ask Benedict to take care of you if I go?”
Your heart softened. Knowing he needed to hear you say it out loud, you nodded, “I promise.”
---
 March 5, 1820 – Y/I,
One would think Anthony had been the one to give birth instead of you! I’ll pop by today to give him a talking-to. And to meet my lovely niece, of course.
Yours, B
You found yourself in the nursery this afternoon, your three boys gathered around you and your daughter fast asleep in her crib. It was a lovely day out; sunny but not too hot, but the boys hardly noticed. Instead, they sat still, completely enthralled as you read from your current novel. Though you adored reading to your children, you found children’s books rather boring and repetitive. Thus, you had shifted to reading them excerpts from your own reading material. It made the endeavor much more interesting, and the boys seemed to love it too, evident as they hung on your every word.
“‘Listen to me, Frankenstein. You accuse me of murder,’” you read, and your sons gasped, not quite understanding the meaning of the word but easily catching onto your surprised reaction. You continued, “‘and yet you would, with a satisfied conscience, destroy your own creature. Oh, praise the eternal justice of man! Yet I ask-’”
“Surely I’ve heard wrong and you’re not reading to your children about murder!” came Benedict’s voice from the doorway. 
Immediately, three voices squealed in delight and Frankenstein was completely forgotten as your sons rushed over to their uncle. Charles was only one year old, but his brothers’ excitement only fueled his clumsy crawl toward Benedict’s waiting arms.
“They don’t exactly know what it means, Ben,” you laughed. “Besides, it’s wonderful literature. And it keeps them entertained.”
He picked up Charles in one arm and Arthur in the other, making his way over to you as Bernard clung to his leg. “Well, I’m sure you know better than me, darling,” he commented and kissed you sweetly on the top of your head. 
“Isn’t that usually the case?” you teased, standing up to properly greet your best friend. Though you hadn’t joined the welcome committee, you were positively glowing now that Ben had arrived. It had been over a week since you had seen him, and you had missed him terribly. You smiled brightly, instantly at ease in his presence.
Eyebrows raised and eyes shining with mirth, he teased back, “You forget I have three very bloodthirsty boys on my side who have just learned what murder is.”
You looked at Arthur, who was completely focused on attempting to undo Benedict’s cravat, and Charles, who had two fingers in his mouth and was unsuccessfully attempting to put in a third, then glanced back at Benedict. 
“Quite bloodthirsty, aren’t they?” you deadpanned as you gently pried Charles’ hand from his mouth. 
Ben couldn’t help the waves of laughter rolling off him as he observed your sons. “It seems they still have a way to go before they get there.” 
Then, spotting the pink crib across the room, he gasped and set down Arthur and Charles and somewhat successfully shook Bernard off his leg. Walking over to the crib, he stared at her, completely awestruck.
"She’s so tiny!” he exclaimed, careful to keep his voice down so as not to wake her.
You giggled, making your way over. “That’s exactly what Anthony said,” you smiled at him. 
But your smile did nothing to soothe the dull ache that had blossomed in his chest as he remembered all the things he could have had with you. The pain was not as unbearable now as it had been five years ago, but he was inclined to think that it would be there for the rest of his life. In the back of his mind, Benedict wondered if he would have been as good of a father as Anthony. He supposed he would never know, having devoted himself completely to his art and extinguishing any lingering hopes Violet had that her second son would ever marry. But you seemed happy, and that was truly all that mattered. 
Ignoring the pain in his chest, he smiled sweetly back down at you. “What’s her name? Something starting with a D, I’m sure. Otherwise, Anthony will have lost his mind.”
“Yes, naturally,” you giggled. You tugged on Ben’s sleeve to bring him closer to the crib. “Benedict, meet Diana Bridgerton.”
“Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Miss Bridgerton,” he murmured, intently observing your daughter as she slowly blinked her eyes open. 
“Quite eager to meet her uncle,” you observed, but Benedict was too mesmerized by her to respond properly.
“She’s got your eyes,” he whispered after a few seconds, turning back to you and placing an arm around you. Your arm snaked around his back, and you drew him in a little closer.
Leaning down to place his cheek on your head and hugging you tighter, he spoke softly, “I thought you might name her Daisy. Flower names and all that. Besides, it starts with a D.”
Benedict didn’t quite know where the comment had come from. You hadn’t mentioned flower names in years, but the thought had suddenly popped into his brain quite unexpectedly and he had been unable to stop the words coming out of his mouth. He knew he was so incredibly lucky to know you and to love you and to have a friendship with you, but it was at times like these when he wished he didn’t know you quite so well. At times when knowing you was only a reminder of what he lost.
In that moment, you were thankful to be facing Diana’s crib instead of Benedict, because you could feel the tears prickling at your eyes. The flower names. Of course Benedict would have remembered. You had never truly regretted marrying Anthony, but what you had with Ben transcended anything you could ever have with anyone else, and sometimes it was hard to come to terms with the fact that he wasn’t your person anymore.
Shaking your head to will the tears away, you responded, “No. No, I could never.”
“What? You always said you wanted to name your children flower names.”
“No, Benedict. I wanted to name our children flower names.”
He felt all the air in his lungs escaping all at once. It felt as if someone had reached deep inside of him, taken hold of every organ inside his body, and squeezed very tightly. Wanted to name our children. Our children. Our. Just a simple word, three letters in total, had managed to leave him completely disarmed. 
It was silly, really. You were married and had four children with his brother, of all people. And Benedict was still completely and irrevocably in love with you. He rather thought that he would always love you, in some form or another. Benedict suspected that Anthony knew this too, though his older brother was far too tactful to ever broach the subject. 
Seemingly unaware of Ben's internal turmoil as he tried to reduce his feelings to their usual dormant state, you grabbed hold of his hand and led him away from Diana toward the door. “Nurse Edwards can watch the children while we go downstairs to have some tea. I must hear about your painting displayed at the National Gallery! I wish I hadn’t been about two days from bursting so I could have gone to see the unveiling.”
---
November 17, 1820 – Benedict,
Y/N has fallen ill, and I am away on business unable to tend to her. Go to Aubrey Hall as soon as possible and make sure she’s alright.
Please.
Anthony
Benedict could barely hear the rain pouring down outside his carriage over his racing heartbeat. Anthony’s frantic note had left Ben in a state of panic. He had left for Aubrey Hall immediately upon receiving the note, but he still worried that he might be too late. What on earth had frightened his older brother to the point of asking Benedict for help? A million possibilities, each one as devastating as the other, raced through his mind. 
The sight of your home interrupted his catastrophizing, and he swung the door open and ran toward the entrance before the carriage could come to a complete stop. Benedict was somewhat aware that he was getting completely drenched in the rain, but his mind was far too focused on getting to you to care. 
The front door was already open when he reached it, and Benedict burst through, barely hearing the butler’s, “Upstairs in her bedchamber, Mr Bridgerton,” before he was frantically climbing the stairs to get to you. 
Once he reached your door, Ben stopped quite suddenly. He didn’t want to startle you by bursting in unannounced, so he waited a few seconds to catch his breath. Finally, he turned the doorknob slowly, hands shaking nervously as he entered your bedroom. 
In between shockingly vivid dreams and a splitting headache, you vaguely registered what looked to be Benedict’s tall frame standing in your room. You shook your head, confused by his presence and not quite trusting your own eyes, but the effort left you breathless and you coughed violently. 
“It’s alright, darling. You just rest,” he shushed you, shrugging off his drenched coat before he came to your side. 
It killed him to see you like this, pale and sweaty as shivers wracked through your tired body. He had never seen you look so ill, not even when you came down with influenza when you were ten years old, and he was trying his hardest to hold himself together.
“Have you called for a medic?” his voice came out a bit strangled as he asked your lady’s maid, Rose, who had been nervously fidgeting off to the side. 
"Yes, Mr Bridgerton. It's pneumonia," she said softly, her voice filled with concern. "The best we can do is keep her comfortable and give her fluids until her fever breaks."
He nodded, running his hands through his hair in an attempt to calm down. But you had drifted into fitful sleep, and your shallow, ragged breathing was only making him more worried. 
Nevertheless, he had to think clearly. Anthony was away, meaning that Benedict was now entirely responsible for you. The realization steeled his nerves, so he straightened his waistcoat and released a controlled breath, ready to face whatever came his way.
“Where are the children? I trust Nurse Edwards is with them now,” he said firmly.
Rose nodded. “They’re asleep now, but she is there in case they need anything. They’re taken care of,” she reassured.
“Very well. Please let me know if I can be of any assistance to them.” Then, clearing his throat, “Ring for tea, please,” he instructed. “And bring me towels and a bowl of lukewarm water.” 
She nodded, hurrying out of the room. Benedict moved closer to your bedside, his heart twisting at the sight of you in distress. He didn't hesitate, pulling a chair close to the bed and sitting down beside you. Gently, he reached out to feel your burning forehead, but you immediately flinched, the pain evident in your eyes as they shot open.
“Too cold,” you rasped. “Please don’t.”
He cursed under his breath, heart cracking slightly at your reaction. But he withdrew his hand immediately, settling instead for sitting on a chair next to your bed, watching you intently for any signs that your condition was worsening.
You looked awfully pale, paler than he’d ever seen you, and your lips had turned a concerning shade of purple. Though even when you were drenched in sweat and shivering, you still were the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, he thought. Even now, years after you had married another man, you remained his muse. The heartbreak he experienced that summer had been an admittedly excellent source of inspiration, and his new works helped propel him forward in the art world. It had served as a distraction, proving especially useful when Ben heard the news that you were pregnant for the first time so soon after the wedding. But now he supposed that art was no longer a distraction, and had instead become his life. 
Maybe it was better this way, he sometimes thought. Maybe fate had never intended for him to be with you, though he couldn't fathom why the universe seemed so cruel. But the conclusion that he most often came to is that this was some sort of punishment. And he supposed he rather deserved it. He had continuously run away from the person he loved most, his best friend, the love of his life, time and again while you had only waited patiently for him to love you back. 
Looking down at you now, he still felt the need to take care of you. The instinct would never go away. But it was a shame that the only reason he was allowed to do it now was because your husband had asked him to.
Your lady’s maid cleared her throat, standing at the doorway with the items Benedict had requested. He waved her in and had her place the tea on your bedside table, but he took hold of the towels himself and dipped one of them in the bowl of water.
“How long have you been here?” Ben asked Rose, taking in her exhausted appearance.
“Since midmorning, Mr Bridgerton,” she responded, stifling a yawn. "But I'm happy to do it. Lady Bridgerton seems to need it, too."
“Well, I think you ought to go to bed now, Rose,” he responded, gently placing the damp towel on your forehead. You let out a soft sigh of relief, and the tightness in Benedict’s heart loosened the tiniest bit. 
Hearing his words, Rose could have collapsed right then and there. “Thank you, Mr Bridgerton. Please call for one of the servants if you need anything,” she said gratefully. And then, before he could change his mind, she hurried out of your bedroom. 
The towel had seemed to rouse you from your sleep, and you sat up weakly so you could take in your surroundings.
You opened your eyes, happy to find Benedict still in your room. “Hello, there,” you croaked, but he shushed you, immediately holding a teacup to your lips. You took a hesitant sip, but the warm liquid ran down your throat so soothingly that you grasped the cup with your own hands and drank the entire thing. 
Ben laughed softly, delicately taking the teacup from you so as not to touch you, not having forgotten your earlier protests when he placed a hand on your forehead.
“How long have you been here?” you asked Benedict, a particularly strong shiver making your teeth chatter. Noting his look of concern, you rushed to reassure him, “I’m fine, Ben. Promise.” However, you didn’t know how convincing you had sounded, given that you started violently coughing immediately after the words left your lips. 
“I can see that. You look great,” teased Benedict. 
“I bet,” you shot back, and he was unable to keep the fond smile off his face. “I’m–” you started, but another coughing fit prevented you from continuing. He looked at you, eyes overflowing with worry, and exchanged the towel on your forehead for a fresh one, hoping it would provide at least some relief.
Once your coughing fit subsided, you were overtaken by a wave of exhaustion. Sliding back down into bed, you turned to Benedict. “I think I need to sleep if that’s alright,” you said softly, eyes already drooping shut.
“Mmm, I think so, too,” he agreed.
You reached out and grabbed his hand, intertwining your fingers with his and bringing your joined hands to your chest. “Please stay, Ben,” you said, eyes already closed. 
His heart nearly skipped a beat, having completely forgotten just how right your hand felt in his. “Always,” he murmured, reaching over to kiss you on the forehead. Benedict settled into the chair beside your bed, carefully watching you to make sure your breathing remained even. 
An hour later, a particularly intense shiver ran through you and you woke up to find that you were still clutching Benedict’s hand. He was staring at you intently, and you felt an overwhelming sense of tenderness for him. Even though you had married Anthony, he was still here by your side, ensuring that you were safe. Even though you probably looked about two minutes away from death, and even though he probably had much more interesting things to do, he was here.
“I’m sorry, you know,” you whispered, not quite sure you wanted him to hear but needing to say it anyway.
His brow furrowed, not quite sure why you were apologizing. “It’s quite alright.”
“No, I am. I’m so sorry,” you said, barely registering the tears running down your face and mixing with your sweat. 
Ben wiped away your tears with one hand, the other still holding yours. “There’s nothing to be sorry for,” he whispered.
You shook your head and the towel fell from your forehead once again, which he immediately replaced with a new one. “I don’t regret marrying him, but I regret hurting you,” you choked back a sob. “It was cowardly of me, and I’m sorry.”
Benedict was at a loss, your confession bringing his complicated feelings to the surface. But before he could find the right words, you had fallen asleep once again, eyes closed peacefully and your breathing even. He sat back in shock, attempting to process the meaning behind your words while still being careful not to move his hand too much so you could sleep peacefully. 
Benedict sat there for what felt like hours, his mind in a whirlwind of emotions. Guilt weighed heavily on his heart as he watched you sleep, your hand still clasped in his. Surely you were at least a little delirious, he reasoned. How could you apologize for something he had caused?
Hours later, the morning sun filtered through your curtains and you stirred awake. You blinked your eyes open, a bit disoriented as you took in your surroundings. You glanced down, seeing Ben sitting in a chair next to your bed, fast asleep in what looked to be an incredibly uncomfortable position. Your hand was still clasped in Benedict’s, his thumb absently stroking the back of your hand. You felt a pang of guilt at the sight and cringed slightly as you remembered your tearful apology the previous night.
Sensing that you were awake, Benedict stirred, half opening his eyes to make sure you were alright. Wincing as his neck cracked, he sat up and asked groggily, “How’re you feeling this morning, darling?” 
“Much better, actually,” you responded.
A sudden wave of panic washed over you. “Who’s with the children?”
“Don’t worry! They’re alright. Nurse Edwards is with them,” he assured you. “Perhaps it’s for the best; they might get to engage with some books actually meant for children.” He kept his tone light and teasing, not entirely sure if you remembered your apology and not wanting to open up the conversation if you didn’t.
“Oh, thank you,” you sighed in relief, relaxing against your pillows once again. Then, swatting his arm, you scolded, “And they enjoy the literature, mind you!”
“I suppose you are feeling better if you had the strength to hit me,” he remarked amusedly.
You rolled your eyes. “I could have hit you last night. Easily.” But your expression turned sincere. “Thank you for coming. I didn’t mean to be a burden; I know you’re working on a new piece.”
“It’s nothing,” he waved his hand. “You could never be a burden.”
You cleared your throat awkwardly, suddenly looking anywhere but at him. “And I meant what I said last night. It was ill-timed, I know, but I am truly sorry.”
“Nonsense,” he shook his head. “There is nothing to apologize for. I didn’t treat you the way I should have and I was the one who hurt you. I’m just glad I can still have you as a best friend.”
You smiled at him, pulling him into a hug. “We seem to be quite good at that, don’t you think? Being best friends.”
“Oh, the best,” he smiled at you, adoration clear in his eyes.
orginal ending || next part || buy me a ko-fi!
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