#things my husband's said that crack my mind wide open

[tripably]

writing a story is like playing labyrinth (the board game)

[chuluoyi]

✎ mission: baby steps !

- gojo satoru x reader

the three times gojo tried to make his baby love him (and how he miserably fails)

genre: full crack, dad!gojo being a sore loser, your baby being mean (he only wants peace, really), and obviously, fluff !!

note: a little thing for father's day ehe <3 i know i said i'll work on smut in the polls next but uhhh, this comes first ok?! :') i just love the idea of gojo vs baby don't mind me *sobs* and all the scenario here come from the tiktok/reels you've sent me!

a part of gojo's love entries

general masterlist

There are many things that come with being a jujutsu sorcerer, and when you are Gojo Satoru, those things seem to be multiplying like bunnies.

This essentially means less time with his wife and baby. Look, he could finish missions fast, but when sent to other cities, even he couldn't abuse his teleportation powers all the time to return to Tokyo.

And so, as much as he hated it, he couldn't fault his baby boy for forgetting him.

"Look, it's papa," you rocked your son with a smile, consoling him as he wailed right after Satoru held him. "Don't cry, don't cry! Papa just got back from a long mission, he's not scary!"

"Is he scared of me?" Ouch. The thought prickled him. It somehow felt sourer than seeing Principal Gakuganji's face.

You hummed, seemingly (or comically?) deep in thought. "Hmm, in baby's point of view: a big, bad man suddenly picks him up, of course he's scared."

"I'm not a bad man!"

Okay, he wasn't having this. Satoru adored his baby to bits and he would want him to at least know it. It's settled then—he would be taking paid leave just to spend some time with his baby.

This would be his mission for the next three days!

DAY ONE

The day started off great. Baby Gojo was relatively calm, a bit fussy here and there but Satoru could definitely handle him.

"Look, a plane is coming!" he said playfully, moving the spoon in the air to attract his baby's attention. "Open your mouth wide!"

Baby blinked at him with the straightest face ever. His two blue orbs were the very same as his father, and yet they held disinterest so great that it was a wonder Satoru didn't notice.

He then playfully smooched baby's face, but he scrunched up, cringing in response.

And later, another achievement unlocked: Satoru successfully got his son to sleep for his afternoon nap!

"You're so cute, sigh." Satoru poked his baby's cheek lightly. "You look like me, but when you sleep, you totally look like your mama..."

He might not say it out loud, but one of his favorite sights lately was seeing you sleep next to your son. Both of you looked so precious and vulnerable, so alike, and it made him warm.

And whenever he looked at this little creation between you and him, he also got the urge to poke him so bad.

So he did. Only this time, he poked him a little too hard.

And how wrong that move was.

His son immediately cracked his eyes open, his lips quivered, and then his whole face scrunched up, followed by—

"WAAA!"

"Oof! Wait— I'm sorry!"

Long story short, he refused to be held in Satoru's arms, so you took over and your husband could only watch you with dissatisfaction.

"Won't you let me hold you?" he asked despondently, pulling up a pitiful face and batting his eyelashes. "I have the warmest hugs! Mama can vouch for that!"

"Satoru, he doesn't want you."

DAY ONE RESULT : FAILED

DAY TWO

Okay, his baby would love him today. Satoru was sure of it.

He had ordered this baby ride-on toy via home shopping and not only that, he would play with him!

"Here we goo~! Honk! Honk!" Satoru steered the little vehicle with his son at the backseat, hyping him up and even made a weird sound that was supposed to resemble a... train?

You watched them both, giggling. Your husband looked positively ridiculous as he was too big for the small vehicle, but still persisted in entertaining your clueless baby behind him. "Oh my, Satoru, you're trying way too hard."

"I have to!" he retorted, sending pout and a glare at the same time. "You can't hog him all the time, he's my son too!"

"Well, good luck~ as it happens, your spawn isn't easy to impress."

"Just so you wait—!" Satoru begrudgingly shot you a look, eaten up by your taunts, not noticing the wall in front of him. "By the end of today, he'll— whoaaa!"

He was about to crash into the said wall, and you were prepared to jump to save your baby first. But then, Satoru did the next best thing to stop it—jumping out of the ride-on, rolling onto the floor... and crashing into the bookshelf that some of the things fell. "Ow!"

"Are you okay!?" you immediately picked up your baby before checking him over. However, Satoru's eyes were transfixed on your shared munchkin.

"Meh heh~"

And you too when you heard it— your baby was wiggling, all smiles, seemingly amused by the sight of his papa lying there pitifully. Satoru was aghast.

"Y-you have no filial piety!"

DAY TWO RESULT : FAILED

DAY THREE

Today, Satoru had gotten inside the playpen and brought a bunch of toys, planning to entertain his son with all of them.

"C'mon, don't throw that!" he pursed his lips when his kid flung the lego away. "Don't you want to play together with me?"

No. As if saying that, the baby crawled away from him. He seemed to have a target in mind though.

"Oi, what are you doing?" Satoru was puzzled, but he was in for a surprise when the child rose slowly.

"Oh, you're pushing yourself up..." he stated, observing how the baby, still wobbly, clutched on the edge of his playpen for support.

A huge grin spread across his face then. "Aww, look at you!" he gushed with pride. "You can stand already! Ooh!"

And suddenly, the sight tugged at his heartstrings. This was the first time he had ever witnessed such a milestone. He wasn't here when he first started teething or crawling, and now that he was here when his son was standing... he wanted to see more of this.

"Now, can you take a step?" Satoru moved closer to him, and the kid turned to him with those clear blue eyes and a little frown, seemingly unsure. "Go! Go! Come to me!"

He didn't think he would actually try to walk. But he did as baby let go of the support, alas suddenly he slipped—

And fell flat on his face.

"—! Are you hurt?!" Satoru immediately plucked him off the floor, horrified, and pulled him close when the baby started to sniffle. Soon, he began to wail inconsolably.

"Oh no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry—!" he didn't even know why he was apologizing, but seeing his baby so frightened made his chest tighten. "Stop crying, oh wait—let's find mama!"

You were engrossed in your evening TV series when Satoru came barging to the living room with your poor son while being hysterical. "Help him!"

"What happened?!"

"He fell! He fell!"

Of course, your main concern was to comfort your baby, and so you reached out to take him from your husband's arms, only that...

"Huh...?" even Satoru was stunned when his son clutched onto his shirt, continuing to cry but refusing to let go, burying his little face into him.

Suddenly, he felt warm, he felt needed, and most of all, his desire to protect him was so overwhelming that he couldn't help but squeeze him closer.

You looked between the father and son, feeling giddy at the sight.

"He wants you," you finally smiled, patting baby's back. Satoru glanced between you and his precious pumpkin, seemingly taken aback as he blinked several times. When the fact sank in, he felt like a mush and pressed a kiss on his head.

The clown was convinced that his kid hates him and you are the savior. So, the fact that this little innocent being wanted him to comfort him... it made his heart flutter.

"Sorry, kid," he sighed into him, smushing his face to his little one's. "Don't cry, yeah? You're making me sad too."

"Satoru... are you getting glassy-eyed?"

"...am not!"

DAY THREE RESULT : DUBIOUS OUTCOME

"He's asleep..." you placed your baby between you and Satoru on the bed later that night, he was now so peaceful, out like a light.

Satoru turned to face you and the baby, looking at both of you with a yawn, but a soft smile lit his face when he saw how you pecked his son's cheek lightly.

These three days made him almost forget that curses still existed out there. Spending time with his son blurred that fine line between reality and a perfect daydream.

"He is still so little, but he screams so loud," he mused, poking the baby's cheek gently. You swatted his hand away, worried he might poke too hard again.

"You keep teasing him, that's why."

"—? He keeps playing me, is why!"

You two burst into quiet giggles then, and you couldn't help but reminiscing about the journey from when you first found out you were expecting, through the first ultrasound, and all the way to delivering your son.

And it seemed like Satoru had an inkling of what you were thinking when he suddenly blurted:

"Thank you, for everything you do," he whispered then, his eyes crinkled so softly at you.

You playfully huffed to hide your misty eyes, and in that moment, Satoru knew, that you too were glad for this life you two shared.

. . .

And that, in and of itself, was enough for him to thank all the stars for bringing him to meet you in that most beautiful spring of 2006.

Epilogue

It was morning, and baby was awoken by... sounds.

He looked to the side to find his mama there— your hand on his tummy to prevent him from rolling.

And then he turned to the other side to find his papa... who is perfectly still, but emanating this low sounds with each breath he took.

The longer he heard it, the more irritated your munchkin felt. So he rose, put his fists together, and came down on him—

Whack!

"—?!" Satoru groaned when something hit his face, and he opened his eyes only to see his son readying his punch again—

"W-why are you hitting me!" he was mortified. "H-help! Sweets, wake up! He’ll murder me!”

OVERALL MISSION RESULT : FAILED

[wordsarelife]

—twenty-two

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: you try to make theo a swiftie and succeed

warnings: none

note: kinda modern au, considering reader has a phone and a working internet connection (technology works at hogwarts in this fic)

you’d always known theo was a tough nut to crack, but you were determined. if there was one mission you were set on, it was getting him to appreciate the artistry of taylor swift. he could roll his eyes all he wanted, but you weren’t giving up. not when there was so much he was missing out on.

it started with small things—playing folklore in the common room when you knew he was studying nearby, leaving your taylor swift playlist on shuffle when he happened to be sitting with you in the library. he never said anything, just raised a brow or gave you a look, but you could tell. the seed had been planted.

you started to go a bit deeper, always choosing the right song or album for theo's mood at the moment.

you would play lover or red when you were getting ready and theo was watching you sort through clothes or put on makeup with a content smile on his face.

you played folklore or evermore during quiet nights in the common room, with thick socks and fluffy blankets in front of the warm glow of the fireplace.

he was not ready to admit it yet, but you could see that theo didn't mind as much as he used to. he never actually said something, about liking her music, but he had stopped frowning when you took out your phone and opened your music app.

one time, in the middle of studying, you even saw him bop his head along to 'you belong with me', which quickly turned out to be his favorite, because his mood would rise anytime you played it.

"aren't you putting on any music?" theo asked one day while on a walk through the hogwarts grounds.

"well, do you want me to?" you retorted, a winning smile on your face.

he shrugged. "i don't care. just thought it was odd"

you didn't miss the slight smile once you had pressed play on speak now or how he took your hand in yours, connecting them to the enchanting melody of mine.

the following night both of you stayed up longer, per theo's demand, so you could explain to him the lore of taylor swift and kanye west.

theo was pretty laid back and usually not interested in any drama, but he was kind of intrigued as long as no one he closely knew was involved.

you recounted everything that had happened between your favorite singer and kim kardashians husband. theo nodded along understandingly, throwing in his own questions at the appropriate times.

"i didn't know that there was so much backstory"

"crazy, right?" you asked, wide-eyed. "but if that hadn't happened we wouldn't have reputation now"

"what?"

"it's another album" you shrugged "it's called reputation"

"did we ever listen to that one?" he asked, recounting all the times you had shown him some of her stuff, while you had always made sure to mention what album the song you were listening to was on.

"no" you shook your head.

"why? you clearly like it"

"it's one of my favourites" you nodded, deep in thought "i never showed you because i didn't want to listen it as long as it wasn't a taylor's version yet"

"a what?"

his question resulted in twenty more minutes of backstory. theo's eyes widened as you explained the lore of the rerecordings to him.

"i guess i could show you the album through youtube" you muttered, taking out your phone "fan accounts that made lyric videos should be alright to watch"

theo and you spent the better time of the rest of the night watching fan-made videos for the songs on reputation. you could tell that he was obsessed immediately, going as far as taking out his phone and screenrecording the songs he liked most.

"they are amazing" he gushed as he recorded so it goes, which seemed to be his favorite off the album.

"told you" you shrugged, a soft smile on your lips as you watched his amazement grow. "it's not embarassing to admit that i was right"

"should've listened to you, baby" he muttered, pressing his face into the pillow next to him. you moved a hand through his hair. "i like it"

"i know" you kissed his temple. you put your phone on the nightstand after searching for a playlist of calm taylor songs to fall asleep to. "now we can enjoy her together"

theo pulled you into his arms, his voice humming along to the tunes of last kiss, as both of you slowly fell asleep.

after that night, theo added a few taylor swift songs to his regular playlists (he had different ones for different moods) and made a habit to learn the lyrics to his favorites.

one time, when him and blaise were out for a smoke, theo put on one of the playlists (smoke and relax) and the shuffle promptly landed on delicate.

blaise quickly noticed who was singing, considering your simple overuse of her music during study time with your friends, making fun of theo almost immediately.

"taylor swift, really?" he puffed out the smoke through his mouth, quirking a brow at theo.

theo simply shrugged. "y/n loves her"

"you don't have to like everything your girlfriend does, you know man?" blaise muttered "you're allowed to have your own interests, taylor swift shouldn't be one of them"

"yeah? why not?"

"huh?" blaise had been a bit surprised by theo's quick and simple answer. "you're not a girl, mate"

"thank you, i'm aware"

theo's sarcasm clearly annoyed blaise, as he threw his cigarette onto the ground, stomping it out in the snow, before he turned to head inside. "don't let it change you, man" he smirked. "you're not a swiftie or whatever they're called"

"i might as well be" theo shrugged, not even bothered at this point.

"you're doing weird shit to get laid"

"yeah, maybe if you would put in the same effort you would get laid too, ever considered that?" theo smirked, clearly amused by the shocked expression that crossed blaise's face.

"so, uh..which album would you recommend?"

[maximumkillshot]

I Can't Lose You-Part 11

Warnings: Triggering memories of the miscarriage, Some is grabbing, shoving, graphic violent thoughts, Cursing, Bin Loses It, threats, Bin hurts himself unintentionally oh yeah and Han loses it too

Pairing: BangChan x Reader?

Characters: Bin, Soo 😒, Han, Stray Kids, Chan is mentioned quite a bit.

A/N: Happy Birthday @galamxy and I am so sorry to everyone in advanced. This one is gonna hurt, but... BUT I am letting you know ahead of time

I Can't Lose You Masterlist-CLICK HERE

Stray Kids Masterlist-CLICK HERE

ALL WORK IS UNDER ME AND MY BLOG. DO NOT TRY TO REPUBLISH OR STEAL MY WORK, AS THAT IS COPYRIGHTED UNDER ME AND IS CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE. 

ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.

Previously: “He won’t… too much respect… I however,” I stated very matter-of-factly, “Have a very hard line, Soo. I don’t touch women in any violent way ever… But if anyone messes with my family and with whe people I love? All of a sudden gender is irrelevant… So the next time you speak, I recommend you speak with that in mind.” I saw the blood drain from her face, I felt a new level of base in my voice. The anger is starting to reach a level I can’t control.   Minho added on with “Usually I’d have too much respect. That was before what you said about Y/N.  About her losing the baby being a good thing. That it’d make the divorce less messy…” My eyes went wide as my heart dropped on the floor, shattered. When did this happen? How did this happen? I looked away from Soo for the first time, “I don’t think I heard you correctly… She said WHAT?” 

Now:

I can’t believe that this came out of her mouth. Given I never would’ve expected this type of behavior from her either but here we are. I looked at Minho’s face and I could tell he wasn’t lying. I looked at Hannie who was sitting on my opposite side and his face said the same. 

If I wasn’t sitting I would have probably collapsed. I went from a relaxed position to leaning forward, cracking my neck as I tried to contain my rage. I wiped my hands down my face, Changbin, calm down, I told myself. I went back to what Seungmin told me, “You promised her you were coming back.”  

I heard Hannie say… “Wait.”

When I looked at him, his mouth was open in utter disbelief, “You knew…” he said to Soo… When I looked back at Soo all I saw was a smile creeping onto her face, “You knew they were trying to conceive?! When Chan told you, there was no gasp of shock, no condolences… even now…  You’re smiling because you knew…”

Soo smiled saying, “How do you think Chris and I started talking in the first place? It was clear she was broken, now the outside matches the inside. Maybe this will be a warning for you.” She looked at me, “She’s damaged goods, don’t you want to know what it’s like to be a dad?” How dare she. I looked at Han as he stared daggers at her. Hannie is not known for becoming angry, but he looks enraged at what Soo just said. I looked back to Soo.

I looked into her eyes as I wondered what she meant by that. ‘She’s damaged goods, don’t you want to know what it’s like to be a dad?’ I’ve never been good at hiding my fondness for Angel, that’s for sure, but I don’t know where she’s getting at. Angel has only had eyes for Chan, her person… hurt my person.

 I don’t know why she would throw something like her fertility at me like it’s some deal breaker. It isn’t. I could live in a shack with nothing except Y/N and I would be the richest man on the planet. Children would be nice, but if it meant giving her up, I don’t need kids, I need her. This is all hypothetical of course.

I was sure she could feel the tension shift as I could feel my face contort from the rage, “So not only are you so fucking desperate that you’ll cheat with your best friend’s husband. Not only will you cheat knowing they were trying to conceive, but when they finally do conceive, after TWO YEARS you say that it was a good thing that child died because it would make the divorce less messy?!” I've never felt this level of rage. It was almost accusatory the way she threw Y/N’s fertility. Like because she didn’t get pregnant, that’s why they cheated. 

I am feeling so many levels of disdain, hurt, and disbelief. How could anyone say that about anyone else? It is unfathomable to me how someone could hurt someone else like this. How someone could think that let alone voice it. That takes it to a different level of disgust for me. 

Han sighed as he said, “And you sit there, almost blaming Y/N for your sins? For Chris’ sins? You don’t know anything about what she’s been through. Constantly waiting for Chris, him making her feel like an afterthought,” Han added on, “telling her he has no time for her, that he has more important things to do. One of us,” He pointed to himself and me, “One of us slept in the same bed as her every night because she’d cry to sleep on her own. You know what? We’d do it again. All of it. Because she is worth that and more.” I could feel Han vibrating with emotion. I can tell I’m not the only one that is feeling this. 

I tacked on, “Meanwhile he’s cheating with you,” I scoffed, “Talk about trading in a diamond for a piece of glass. You are the lowest of the low. She isn’t broken. You two are!” I took a breath, “I don’t know what to do with what you’ve done. I’m hurt and angry, and I’m not even the one who was cheated on!” I barked at her.  

The images of me doing things I didn’t want to do started flashing in my head. She isn’t a woman anymore, hell, she isn’t even a person. I could see myself grabbing it by the throat, picking it up, throwing it across the room, and punching, and screaming while I did it. Using its face as a punching bag. I can’t… As much as I want to, I can't.  A sinister, yet just voice playing right next to Seungmin's in my mind, It’s right there in front of you. You’re in pain, agony even… Take it out on one of the people that caused it. No one would blame you. Meanwhile, Seungmin’s voice is still playing, “Don’t make her lose you too.” 

I almost lunged out of my chair before I caught myself. Instead of getting up and doing what I wanted, I screamed, “HOW?! How did she find any humanity in you!? A child died, an innocent child who did nothing wrong…died. Gone, will never have the chance to breathe. Somehow, you view it as a good thing?! THEN YOU COME HERE!!” I could feel every cell in my body burning, trying to just reach across and… “ YOU COME HERE, TRYING TO ACT LIKE YOU’RE HER FRIEND?!”

I looked at her as I grabbed her shirt, I got up dragging her to her feet along with me, “You want to know what I’m thinking right now?” I smiled at her. This felt good. Seeing her realize just how much danger she is in. She thought I wouldn’t move. Like I said before, I don’t discriminate when it comes to protecting my own.

I could see the tears start to form in her eyes as I vaguely heard Han, “Hyung? Bin!”

“I am thinking about how easy it would be to turn your face into a fucking suggestion, make the outside match the inside. Disgusting, putrid, worthless, bloody… Han and Minho are strong, but not strong enough or fast enough to stop me from crushing your windpipe with one hand.” I grabbed the back of her neck, squeezing enough to make it known. 

She yelped as I continued, “It wouldn’t be hard for me. I lift twice your weight for fun.” I laughed, “No one’s here to save you. Especially not your shitty boyfriend… He’s nursing a broken nose at home…”

I felt her body tense, “I don’t want to stop at a broken nose for you…” I chuckled. “I want to send a message so badly. I want to put you in the ICU,” I seethed just inches from her face.“I was happy you stood away but now you DARE walk into here. Demanding to see her, after you say something so vile, so…”  

I could feel Han trying to loosen my grip, I was barely registering anything except her deer-in-the-headlights stare, “Now that you tried to come here when I wasn’t here, trying to capitalize,” I saw that same smirk playing at her lip. “I was going to let you go if I ever saw you again… Now..” I could feel my chest heaving as I said, “Now I want to make it clear to YOU and CHRIS… you come near her… I’ll kill you… I meant it when I said it to him, looks like he needs a reminder. You’ll have to pay for both sins.” She started yelping as I screamed, “SHUT YOUR MOUTH. You have no RIGHT, no SHAME…” I don’t recognize my voice, it’s so heavy, leering… They turned you into this. Show them. 

I heard Minho, “Changbin-ah I know…I want to hurt her too, I want it so badly but we can’t… We aren’t them, Bin.” I shrugged him off as I dragged her to the nearest wall and shoved her against it.

I threw my fist at the wall right next to her head. I felt it vibrate with the hit, “You have no idea what I want to do to you right now. It is taking everything in me not to destroy you.”  She was whimpering as she cried, trying to look away from me. “The pain that I want to put you through is nothing compared to what Y/N is going through. Look at you, a coward that can’t even look me in the eye. She is more than you could ever be.” 

I could feel myself wanting to pick my fist back up and land it on her face so badly. I have never wanted to hurt anyone, until now. The disrespect, the pain, and the absolute lack of empathy make me want to tear her apart. I have been holding in so much pain and agony for so long that I feel like I’m going crazy. I need someone to take it out on. Who better than one of the people who stabbed Y/N in the back? Who else is more deserving than one of the people who killed her child? This makes sense, call it karmic justice. Even breathing just thinking about it feels better. 

I can vaguely hear Hannie… Not like I really can hear much of anything aside from Soo’s pathetic whimpers. For someone so brazen to be this cowering mess, all for seeing me like this. I felt my features soften at that as I smirked at her, even chuckling slightly at the fact that for some reason she decided coming down here was a good idea. If anything this is Darwinism at work, right? A part of me thinks so, at the very least.

If I were to fully embrace this… the impending feeling I knew would cause goosebumps at the relief. Seungmin’s in my head again, “Y/N deserves everything we got.” This mental tug of war makes me feel like I am being torn in half, I just want to cause pain. I want Soo to hurt. I made my decision, Get your relief… It’s not a person…

As I went to shift my weight, I heard “Binnie?”.... Y/N?

I could hear her coming from a phone. That once melodic voice quaking. She was reaching for me. Begging me by only saying my name. My whole body froze, and my vision stopped narrowing, hearing her. “Binnie? Hannie, where's Binnie?” I heard her say again. She sounds so scared. I could tell she had been crying, she needed me. I can’t do this to her. 

I saw Han come into my peripheral, his phone in his hand.

“He’s right here Anya... Binnie’s right here.” Hannie’s voice is so stiff, he’s never afraid of me. I hate it when people are afraid of me. When my eyes flicked to Han I could see the fear. He put his hand on my arm that I was holding Soo’s shirt with. That touch helped me ground myself and see things from a different perspective.

“Why is Binnie not talking Hannie? Did I do something wrong?” I heard her, loud and clear as I tried to gain control of my body again. I wanted to scream,

“No, it’s not your fault, Angel. No, I am just… I’m hurting, Love. I’m hurting so fucking bad and I don’t know where to place it. I only ever went to Channie Hyung when I was in pain. I don’t know what to do knowing he was the one that caused it, Angel. He hurt you, I trusted him to take care of you, you’re my heart… When you cry, I cry; when you hurt, I hurt. You could never do something to warrant me not talking to you. You have never done anything wrong, I love you so much,” My mouth isn’t working as the memories flash. My chest wants to cave in.

“No nothing’s wrong, Anya. Binnie is just listening to your voice, is that okay?” Han asked so gently. How is he so gentle right now? The woman in front of me is one-half of the reason Y/N is here. She’s in my hands right now. The screams replay in my head as I look at Soo, If she knew she never would’ve come here, I’m lying to myself now as my grip tightens on her. 

“Yeah, is Binnie coming back? He promised he would,” I heard her ask. Of course, I’m coming back. She’s my home, how could I leave her? Especially like this. Soo isn’t worth it, and neither is Chan, but I want them to pay. I felt my hand throb against the wall. Feeling the texture as it stands against my fist take some of the haze away. Pleading to Y/N in my head, “I want them to pay, pleeease let me make them pay. Let me make sure they’ll stay away, Angel. I need to protect you, you’re the only part of me that matters.” “Hannie I want my Binnie I’m scared,” I heard her so clearly, I could even hear the sniffles that she would allow to escape every once in a while. I could feel myself at war with what I wanted and what was right. I want to kill Soo, but killing is wrong. So I was stuck there with the love of my life practically begging me to choose her over what I wanted to do. I was trying so hard to open my mouth and try to sound strong but I was three seconds from collapsing. I’m scared too, Angel. I’m terrified. I can’t lose you. I won’t survive it. I’m not me without you. 

“M’here Angel. I’ll..” my voice betrayed me. I cleared my throat, “I’ll be there in a minute. I’ll see you soon,” I felt tears brimming in my eyes as I looked at Soo. I could see the shock on her face, that has to be enough for me. 

At the end of it all, hurting Soo would do nothing. It won't get Y/N anywhere. The pain, the suffering, it's all still going to be there, only she'll have to face it all without me. I can't do that to her. It's not fair, what happened to her. I have to let Soo go, to protect my Angel. That is more than doable. 

Hannie hung up the phone and I looked at Soo as I said, “You aren’t worth any ounce of effort anyone puts towards you. You are a nerveless little leech that sucked the life and kindness out of someone I love very much. You tell Chris what you saw here today. You tell him every detail… Especially this… If you or Chris ever try to come near her uninvited… I will not be this kind again… Do you understand me?”

She nodded violently as I released my grasp on her shirt, instead shoving her by her shoulder to Han, almost knocking both of them down in the process as I said, “Han, get her out of here before I change my mind.” I faced the wall as I tried to breathe. I have never wanted to kill someone more than just now. I’m scared, relieved, and also guilty. 

Just the fact that I was so close to possibly losing Y/N again while I was gone, shot through me like lightning in that car. Now I’m here and the threat’s gone. The original one is. That was relieving, but now I am so guilty.

If Y/N saw me like this, she would’ve been disappointed. Is that the kind of man I am? 

As soon as I register the door closing my knees hit the concrete and I’m blinded by my tears. Who am I? Soo was so scared… and I liked it? I wanted more of it. I wanted her to feel the fear Y/N felt. The pain she feels. Y/N would never want that for anyone. I almost caused her more pain. For what? To satiate my own need? 

“What kind of man am I?” I asked no one in particular as I felt the rage ebbing into whispers, staring at my hands, one already developing bruises from how hard I punched the wall, the other aching from how tight my grip was on Soo’s shirt. An image flashed of when Y/N went limp in my arms, her screams louder than the last time. My shoulders shook with the sobs that left me then. 

I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder as I heard Minho speaking softly, “You are the type of man that would do anything for the woman he loves. You’re the type that takes her pain as your own.”

I turned to Minho and said, “Hyung, I don’t know what to do. I can’t take it away.” my tears started running down my face. All I heard was Minho saying, ‘I got you’ and I let go collapsing on him. 

Minho said right into my ear, “You are a loving, caring person, Changbin. You trusted a person with your own heart and they destroyed it. It’s natural to want blood, Bin. You just proved to yourself that love is more important than revenge. You, Seo Changbin, are the type of man that is rarest of all.” I continued to cry as I held onto Minho, “You are unapologetically you. You live with your heart on your sleeve and you give without asking for anything.” “I can hear it all… Every time I hear her screams, I feel her go limp in my arms, I see the blood,” I gulped in the air, “I wa-want to make it better, Hyung. Why can’t I take it from her?” I asked.

I felt Minho quivering as he sniffled himself, “No one can, I’m sorry Changbin-ah.” I knew that answer. Logically I knew it. “But what you can do..” I looked at him, “You can show her, that loving a person is unconditional. It is as simple as breathing. You show her, that no matter what she can or can’t give you, you’ll be there. Not because you have to, but because you want to.”

I nodded as I tried to stop the tears with Minho saying periodically, “Take your time… Breathe, you’re okay. You’re good.” I was mumbling to myself how I couldn’t believe I thought what I thought and he responded with, “Don’t go there. I’m proud of you for stopping and thinking. That’s what matters.”I wasn’t sure how much time had passed as I heard Minho say, “Let me see your hand.”

I showed it to him. I could see the black and blue forming on my knuckles. When he asked me to make a fist, it was a little painful but not that bad. He smiled as he said “Good news, nothing looks broken… the bad news is there is no way you’re going to be able to hide it from Y/N. So what’s the plan Changbin, any ideas?” His eyebrows went up in question. 

“I’m not going to lie to her, Minho. I can’t.” I said plainly. She is already so fragile and lying wouldn’t help that. I also can’t tell her that I lost it and almost hurt Soo. Given, I was mad, but still. I don’t know. 

His eyebrows furrowed as he smirked, “You know sometimes you’re a little too chilverous.” I just grinned as he continued, “Alright I guess I’ll have to explain it… As far as I’m concerned you slammed your hand in the car door when you were trying to get back here. Sound good?” I nod. 

I heard Minho’s phone go off and I saw Lix’s face on the screen, “one guess” he giggles. He picked it up and put it on speaker.

“MinMin where’s my Binnie?” I heard Y/N loud and clear through the phone. She sounds a little better, I could hear the tease in it. “We were just wrapping up here Beautiful, everything okay?” He asked, smiling at me. 

“Yeah, just Inn-ah trying to eat the last brownie I’m saving for Binnie.” She giggled. My heart swelled. She was saving it for me? I haven’t had one of those in… almost a year now that I think about it.

I heard Inn-ah in the background, “Just a nibble, Y/N?” 

She giggled as she said, “Binnie hasn’t had one in a while Innie, and you live with the guy that makes them.” She laughed. She’s thinking about me? After all of this. She’s focused on me?? I think Minho could see the confusion as he looked at me.

I giggled as I said, “What about the bag of snacks we brought for the boys Seungmin?” I heard Seungmin’s voice loud and clear, “They picked it clean, vultures… I’m surprised the bag’s still there.” I heard Y/N laugh slightly louder. It melted me to my core as I laughed.

I heard Hyunjin say, “Says the one who had a whole pan of brownie to himself. I don’t mind eating clean but had I known I would’ve fought you for that pan, Seungmin.” I could see Hyunjin’s face in my head glaring at Seungmin. 

I laughed as I said, “OK Angel we are on our way. Sorry, it took so long.” I smirked at the phone, I couldn’t wait to see her. I always get this swell in my heart that spreads to all of me when I see her. 

“It’s okay. As long as you’re coming back that’s all I care about.” She giggled. Minho hung up and said, “What happened in this room, stays in this room.” I think he could tell that I was embarrassed about my breakdown. I’m used to being the person that people go to for support. I am rarely the one to need the support. This was Minho’s way of saying my breakdown stays with him. I patted him on the back, silently thanking him. 

When we walked out into the hallway I could see Hannie waiting by the door. Minho motioned for Hannie to come towards us. When he met us Minho whispered, “Follow my lead.” With that we walked back to the room together, Minho leading. When Minho went in he explained the hand injury away, “First thing’s first Beautiful. You’ll notice that Binnie’s hand is bruised, it was an accident, he’s fine and it’s not broken, okay?” He looked relieved as he motioned for me to come in.

When I came in I was met with a gentle smile from her. At that moment I realized something. Soo never told me why she was here. I know why she’s here. Chan was banking on me losing it, seeing her. He was banking on me getting myself arrested or at the very least kicked out so that I would be ripped away from Angel’s side. I smiled wider knowing that not only did I keep my cool, but this experience that he caused just made me want to stick closer to her. 

Every time it feels like the first time I see her. Always takes my breath away. Even in a hospital gown, chocolate remnants on her face. I smiled at her, “Hi, Angel, sorry it took a bit. You have something for me?” I asked as I went to sit in a chair. 

She looked at me with furrowed brows, “I want my Binnie cuddles,” She said as she reached out for me. How could I deny that? I saw Seungmin get up and walk to a chair, sitting down. 

I smiled at her as I nestled up to her in the hospital bed. She smiled as she handed me the last piece of brownie, “It’s the corner piece, your favorite.” 

She looked up at me and wiped a tear from my face, when did I start crying again? “Why are you crying, Binnie?” 

I answered honestly, “I’m so happy to see you giggling and seeing you save this for me. I’m just lucky to know you, let alone be a part of your life.” I dried a tear from her too as I smiled. 

She buried her face into my side as she giggled. That made everyone in the room break out in smiles. The rest of the night was passed in smiles and laughs until eventually, Y/N started yawning. I looked at her trying to fight the sleep until I guided her head to my chest again. She was sleeping before I could even notice. One by one, everyone was asleep except for me. Seeing everyone asleep. I permitted myself to pass out for the night too, and before I knew it, I was out like a light myself. 

_______________________________________________________

WANT MORE? Tell me So! Want in on the tags? Shoot me an ask and consider it done!

[guccifrog]

WRONG NUMBER P12

matt sturniolo x f!reader

idk what to feel about this one tbh 🤓

y/n's pov

"Here," Chris said handing me a soda can, I took it and nodded my thanks. We've been all sitting in the waiting room for the past four hours, since I got to the hospital first thing in the morning, no one was allowed to see Matt. My heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest, every time the doctors opened the door.

Nick sat wide awake, his head resting on my shoulder as I stroked his hair back from his forehead. His eyes never left the door, and every time it swung open, he tensed. Chris was sitting on the floor next to us, his head in his hands. He kept checking his phone, only to sigh and put it away again. The triplets' mom, whose name I learned was Marylou, sat across from us with their dad. Her eyes were red from crying, but she tried to keep a brave face on for her kids.

The clock on the wall ticked loudly, the seconds seeming to drag on for an eternity. I glanced at Nick, trying to think of something to say to take his mind off the waiting, but every time I opened my mouth, my voice caught in my throat.

Marylou shifted in her seat and glanced at me, then back at her Nick. She caught my eye for a moment and gave me a small, sad smile. I really wanted to go over and hug her, to tell her that everything would be okay, but I didn't know what to say to someone who was facing what they were facing.

The door suddenly opened, and a doctor came out, her expression serious. My stomach clenched in fear as she walked over to us. "I'm sorry to say," she began, her voice quiet but firm, "that the surgery was not successful." Nick's head shot up, his eyes wide with disbelief. "The patient has sustained too much damage, and his organs have begun to shut down. We've done everything we can, but…" She trailed off, unable to finish the sentence.

I felt like the world had stopped spinning as the doctor spoke those words. Is that it? Is this how it ends? it's that simple?

Nick started to shake uncontrollably, his eyes filling with tears. He buried his face in my shoulder, sobbing uncontrollably. I wrapped my arms around him, unable to believe what I was hearing. Chris threw his arms around us both, sobbing into Nick's hair. Marylou and her husband both cried silently, their faces twisted in pain.

"Can we at least see him?" Marylou asked, her voice shaking. The doctor nodded, motioning for us to follow her. Nick clung to me, as we walked down the hall. I squeezed his hand reassuringly, wishing there was something I could do to make this better.

The room was dimly lit, and machines were beeping in the background. The hospital bed was elevated, and a body lay under the thin white sheet. Nick's body went limp in my arms as he realized it was his brother. His sobs grew louder. Chris squeezed past us, falling to his knees beside the bed. He reached out and pulled the sheet back.

"What the fuck?" I gasped as I looked at the body that was under the sheet. That's not Matt, it's someone else. It was an old man's body. The room spun, and I felt like I was going to throw up. "Oh my god," I heard Chris say, his voice cracking. "Is this some kind of joke?"

Nick was still sobbing into my shoulder, oblivious to what had just happened. Marylou knelt beside the bed, her hands clutching the sheets. The doctor walked over to us, her expression grim. "We're so sorry, There's been a mix-up. We'll go find your son immediately." She turned and practically ran out of the room. Nick looked up from my shoulder, confused. "What do you mean, a mix-up?"

Chris, still staring at the body on the bed, said, "I don't understand. That's not Matt. I'm sure that this isn't even his room." He turned to the other doctor. "Who's body is that?"

The doctor paused, his face pale. "I…I don't know. The records show that he was supposed to be here, but…it's not him." He looked at us, his eyes filled with fear and regret. "I'm so sorry, we'll try to fix this"

Nick pulled away from me, his face a mix of anger and disbelief. "Fix this? How do you fix something like this?!" He pointed to the body on the bed. "That's not my fucking brother! Where is he?!"

Marylou took a deep breath and tried to calm him down. "Nick, we need to stay calm. The doctor is going to find out what happened and make sure Matt is okay. Let's just try to wait here." She squeezed his hand, but he pulled it away, pacing back and forth.

The doctor returned a short while later, her expression grave. "We've identified the body as belonging to a man named Matthew Williams. He was admitted to the hospital under a false name, and the records were somehow switched with your son's. We've notified the police, and they're investigating the situation." I stared at her, My face a mask of disbelief and horror. "I am so, so sorry for this mistake. We'll do everything we can to find your son and get this sorted out."

Nick collapsed into a chair, his head in his hands. Chris knelt beside him, trying to comfort him. Marylou looked from Nick to the doctor, her face pale. "Do you have any idea where our son might be?" she asked, her voice shaking. The doctor shook her head, her expression pained."Not yet. We'll alert all the hospitals in the area and work with the police to locate him as quickly as possible."

As the minutes turned into hours, the waiting room seemed to close in on them. Nick paced back and forth, unable to sit still. Chris tried to stay calm, but the anxiety was evident in his voice when he spoke to the doctors. Marylou sat in a chair, her face pale. The silence was broken only by the occasional sob from Nick or the beeping of the machines in the hallway.

taglist :

@mattestrella @chrisfavoritepepsi @sunsetsturniolos @littlebookworm803 @sturniozo @sturniolooooo @athaliahxoxo @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ev3rgreenxtrees @nonamegirlxsturniolo @crybabycat1 @mooniethesimp31 @ducksturniolo @ifilwtmfc @pepsiimaxx @sleepysturnss @lustfulslxt @ilovemattsworld @hrt-attack @flowerxbunnie @leprechaunbirthdaygirl @secret-sturniolo @iluvmeeen @that-general-simp @swangelss @familynotfandom @fuckshitslover @styles-sturniolo @lvr-111 @opheliaofficial07 @kiarastromboli

[luveline]

hi hi honey! so i sent this request before but tumblrs been eating my asks so i’m gonna send it again,

i’m the person who asked about the kisses before dinner universe and so since u said u hadn’t gotten any requests for it i wanted to send u one! u mentioned that it was quite nerve wracking the first time reader got pregnant so maybe u could do a blurb where steve’s just comforting her and reassuring her during that time? if u want something more simple, it could just be a small blurb of how their night goes when reader comes home from work or something? ty and i hope tumblr actually ate my request and i’m not bombarding u with this again :(have a good day lovely ❤️

i love kisses before dinner i wanna write a thousand blurbs for them, thank you for requesting! here's steve and u when ur pregnant the first time with avery <3 fem!pregnant!reader

You're more young than you'd planned to be, the first time. Young and terrified.

Steve knows how scared you are, and though he hasn't suggested anything again since the first time you'd made up your mind, you know that any path you take is the one he wants to take with you. Having his support makes it easier, but it certainly doesn't make it easy.

Pregnancy is terrifying. It can make you so sick. It can kill you. So while it's beautiful, and Steve insists it's doing numbers for your complexion, it's gruelling.

You're not even that pregnant yet and still you're fucking tired.

"Stevie?" you call, or try to, voice hoarse with fatigue.

He emerges rather than answer, arms open wide and waiting. "Hey, sweetheart."

And that's new. Steve has always been a "babe" or "baby" kind of guy. Your pregnancy has made him soft.

He's careful not to press against your stomach though it doesn't hurt even slightly when he does, abdomen held away from the small swell of your bump as he gets his arms under your armpits, hands rubbing over your shoulder blades. "Hello," he says sweetly, kissing your cheeks, your chin. "I missed you so much." He hesitates for a second, and then he lets a hand slide between your bodies.

You lean back to let him know it's okay.

"And you," he adds, palm flat over your stomach, "I missed you, too."

"I don't feel very well."

He nods. "Alright. Come and sit down."

That's another one of his insistences. Total, awful honesty. Pregnancy is full of problems, like morning sickness and heartburn and back ache and nausea and headaches. It leaves you stressed and exhausted, and Steve had made it very clear that any complaining was welcomed.

You know, in your heart of hearts, that he's more excited for this baby than you are. He's terrified, too, but he's brimming with joy half the time, so eager to meet whoever it is that comes out on the other side. And you know he feels indebted to you, though he shouldn't. You want this baby a lot.

But Steve aches for them. He's gonna be a great dad.

Right now, he needs to be an amazing boyfriend almost husband.

I don't want a pregnancy proposal, you'd said.

His guilty smile had given him away fast. I want to marry you.

And I want to marry you, Stevie, I do. But not because we're having a baby.

In your mind, he's not your husband or your boyfriend, he's your Steve, as silly as it sounds. He's your everything. He's the only thing getting you through this.

Steve sits you down on a cushion in the kitchen and plants another kiss on top of your head. You haven't lost any mobility yet, but the pleasure of being cared for so deeply makes it hard to turn him down when he guides you around like this. Though, sometimes, when you're cranky, you complain about being babied. He takes it all in stride.

He cracks open a cold bottle of water and gives it to you. Then he turns back to the chopping board next to the stove and finishes what he'd been doing before you arrived, funnelling slices fruit into the colander. He rinses it, and then he pours it into a bowl and puts it in front of you.

"You want peanut butter?" he asks, wrapping his arms slowly and carefully across your shoulders, chin hooked over your shoulder. "Honey? I could melt down some chocolate?"

You pick up a shimmering slice of watermelon and tip your head back to feed him.

"Salted caramel?" he asks as he chews.

You smile softly at him and lift your chin until he gets the memo, leaning down enough for you to kiss the side of his mouth.

"Stevie," you say, because he's so fucking lovely and you love him and not everything hurts when he's around, "I love you. I hope you know how much."

He blinks at you, swallowing hurriedly. "I know," he says.

"Okay, good."

"You think I don't know? Sweetheart, you're carying our kid."

"But if I weren't, I'd still love you this much."

He softens like taffy in the sun, rubbing the tip of his nose into your cheek adoringly. "If you weren't, I'd still love this much, too."

You breathe him in, the wet crush of watermelon between you and his lingering aftershave.

"But you are," he says eventually, kissing your cheek again and then pulling back. "So you better tell me if you want peanut butter of chocolate."

You choose. Steve is delighted, spoiling you with fruits and toppings and asking about work as he starts to make dinner instead. That's another conversation you've already had — he's still working now, but when the baby comes, he's gonna stay home even after maternity leave ends. And if you change your mind and want to stay home instead, that'll be okay too. He's a dream like that. Accommodating your every want and wish.

And so, he's teaching himself how to cook. It's more hit than miss, shockingly, and almost always nutritionally golden.

"Broccoli again?" you ask, trying to hide your amusement.

"Our munchkin's gonna be the healthiest kid ever. TV dinners are for schmucks."

You aren't sure he'll be saying that when he actually has a kid. "She won't be able to eat broccoli for the first six months."

"She wont," he agrees, clearly overjoyed at the idea of a little girl, "but when she can, she's gonna love it."

The fruit is nice and then not. You might've overindulged, or maybe your stomach's being sensitive, but suddenly it smells very strong and you have to push it away, keeling in on yourself with a sigh.

Steve doesn't fuss dramatically, but he does fuss, hand hesitant behind your shoulders.

"You need a bucket, baby?"

"No, I-" Saliva pools in your mouth. "Maybe."

He's swift, kneeling in front of you with the bucket positioned at your feet, hand sliding between your legs to find your hand where it's kneeding your aching stomach.

"She's bullying you, huh?" he asks sympathetically.

"She's barely the size of an apple," you moan, sweat prickling across your brow. "How can she do this to me?"

He strokes the inside of your hand with both thumbs. "She doesn't mean to."

You know that.

Eventually the sickness subsides. You don't throw up. Steve seems as happy as you do about this, kissing your hand with a very apologetic expression.

"I'm sorry," he says.

You lean back in your chair, back already aching, and pull him up onto his feet. If he's surprised at your strength he doesn't say anything, only closes you in again with his arms over your shoulders and his cheek pressed to your warm forehead.

"Don't be. We knew-" You laugh. "I knew this would be hard. I knew it would suck. But I want to do this with you."

"Even though you're scared," he murmurs.

"Even though I'm scared."

His hugs are a balm, always. You melt with relief the longer he holds you, listening to the pot simmering on the stove, lid rattling, steam whistling out of the gap. There's a fondness in his hands you find difficult to describe, devotion or something similar, big palms roving the lengths and slopes of your arms and back like you're made of the most precious thing on earth.

"I won't let anything happen to you."

That's sobering. You suppose you can fall into dramatics about it. Pregnancy is solemn, but it's also completely normal. Millions of people are pregnant right this second. You smile into his jaw, breath hot as you laugh.

"I know, baby," you say, more cheerful than you've sounded all night. "Promise."

He laughs too.

"My girl," he says, too much like the song. You're worried he's gonna start singing. Actually, you might like it.

"Can we listen to the radio?"

"Depends. Will you dance with me?"

You dance with him. You suppose it's a good idea to get all your dancing out now while you can, because in a month or two you'll have cankles, and not long after that you'll have your arms full. He pulls you in and spins you out, brown eyes dancing with a brand new happiness, silky hair falling in perfect layers either side.

"I hope she has your eyes," you say. The shape of them.

"I hope she's your carbon copy," he says, twirling you around, radio hiding the clumsy patter of your socked feet. "A mini you. God, what will I do then? I can barely say no to you."

"You never say no to me."

"Exactly."

He smiles so hard his lashes kiss in the corners, a pleased squinting grin. He can say what he likes. If she doesn't get his smile you'll riot.

[runningmunson]

Start Anew

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x Female!Reader Word Count: 1.1k Summary: After one of the many times Aemond puts you down, you get fed up of his fake apologies and let him know how you feel. Warnings: Swearing, insecure Aemond about being a disappointment, angst to fluff

A/N: Wanted to jump on the bandwagon and stray from my typical Stranger Things fics and take a crack at hotd.

The door to the hall slammed against the wall as you forcibly pushed your way through. The skirt of your dress billowed behind you, and hot tears streamed down your face as you made your way to your chambers. He had done it yet again, never showing any shame nor a shred of decency to not do it in front of his family. 

The room was silent; all eyes fell on the man who caused you to abruptly storm out during supper. The Queen looked toward her son, “Aemond! Must you constantly torture the poor girl?”

“How I treat my wife is of none of your concern, Mother,” Aemond replied flatly. He grabbed his cup to take a drink to attempt to avoid her harsh gaze. He wasn’t in the mood for another lecture he was sure about to receive. 

“Pardon me? None of my concern? I am your mother, and I did not raise you to treat a lady with such contempt and certainly not your wife. She did not ask for any of this. If you are discontent with your marital arrangement, then take that out on your father and me, but leave her be. Now go and apologize,” Alicent had enough of her son’s behavior. You came from a well-respected and noble house; it was humiliating that her own flesh and blood would treat you that way in front of others. If he wanted to act like a child, then he would be scolded like a child. 

Aemond scoffed, his lips turned up into a smirk, “Is that a suggestion or an order?”

“It is an order.” 

“Yes, mother,” he excused himself from the table and sulked toward your shared room. Shared is a funny word because he did not spend much time there. He could hear his mother tell his father how much of a disappointment and embarrassment he was to the family. It was something he had become quite used to hearing his whole life. 

———

You stood by one of the windows in your room, enjoying the warm breeze and the setting sun, turning the sky hues of orange and pink over Blackwater Bay. It wasn’t your home, but you were quickly learning to love waking up to the beautiful view and perfect weather. However, it was difficult to truly make Kings Landing your new home when your husband made it very clear that you don’t belong.

The sound of the door opening and closing drew you out of your thoughts. You didn’t need to turn around to know who it was; anyone else would have knocked before entering. He cleared his throat. 

“I have come to apologize for my behavior. It was unbecoming of me as your husband,” Aemond said, arms folded behind his back. You looked over your shoulder but noticed he didn’t even bother to look at you. 

“Save your breath, Aemond. I do not wish to hear another one of your insincere apologies that your mother forces you to make, so let us please move on. Once you walk out of this room, I will go back to being your dutiful and obedient wife while you do whatever you wish and continue to make a mockery of me in front of everyone,” you had every intention of accepting his false apology like you usually did, but for some reason, you couldn’t bite your tongue this time. You could tell your response came as a shock to him from his raised eyebrow and wide eye. 

“I-I did not know you felt that way, and I do not mean to make a mockery of you. That is not my intention,” he stuttered, his confidence faltering. He was not used to you speaking your mind. However, a bit of pride toward your newfound bluntness stirred in the pit of his stomach.

“What exactly is it then? You insult me every chance you get. I always knew I would never get to marry for love because of my status, but Gods, I never thought I would be made to feel trapped, like a prisoner from my own husband nonetheless. I still try to be a good wife, though. Despite your ever-growing hatred towards me, a small part of me hopes you might change, to learn to love me one day as I have you, but I am sorely disappointed every time,” you said as your chest heaved at the spilled confession you've kept locked deep inside your heart. It was hard to be hurt by the man you call your husband.

There’s that word again, disappointed. Aemond took a deep breath to calm his anger, not toward you but toward himself. “Have you ever thought that I am purposely making it difficult for you to love me? You said it yourself, I disappoint you. And it is not just you. It is my parents, my brother, my sister, the Targaryen name. Hell, even the whole damn entirety of the seven kingdoms. I am a disappointment and embarrassment to everyone I love and care about, even to people who I do not even know. I never wanted to marry or love someone just so they could be added to that long list.” 

“I do not understand you. Instead of proving them wrong, you choose to feed into it by treating me this way?” You questioned him.

“Well, I guess when you put it that way, it does sound a bit asinine,” he turned away, ashamed of himself.

“Have I done something to you to make you believe that I think like everyone else in this forsaken place? Because if I have, then I am truly sorry,” you said in a gentle voice. He had a sick way of thinking, and while it didn’t excuse his behavior, you tried to understand where he was coming from. 

Aemond shook his head, “No, no you have not. You have been nothing but perfect while I have been a complete fool. I am the one who is sorry; and so ashamed at my unfair treatment towards you.”

You walked over to him and placed a hand on his face. Your thumb traced the scar on his cheek that ran below the patch covering his missing eye. He raised his hand to envelope yours and further nuzzled his head, not used to a gentle and soft touch. “You may be a fool, Aemond, but you are my fool.” 

“You’re wrong, you know? I do not hate you, and whoever said I did not love you either?” He broke the silence. His hand moved from yours and placed it on the back of your neck; his other arm pulled you flush against him as he placed his lips on yours. When you finally pulled away, he leaned his forehead down to look at you.

“I vow to be a better man and husband. May we start anew?” He questioned, full of hope. 

You smiled, “I would like that very much.”

[restinslices]

Liar

Druskelle!Matthias Helvar x Heartrender!WIfe!Reader Word count: 2347 Summary: You've kept being a Grisha secret from your husband Matthias Helvar, but what happens when he finds out? Y/N - Your name D/N - Daughter name

If it hadn’t been for two big reasons, you’d like to think you’d have left Fjerda.

The ice, the cold, the anti Grisha talk. Living in Fjerda was nerve wracking, causing you to be hypervigilant on everything you said or did. To say it was tiring, would be an understatement. Yet two people kept you in Fjerda; your husband Matthias Helvar and your daughter D/N Helvar. 

There were nights where you would toss and turn, your mind plaguing you with nightmares about Matthia finding out about you. Those nightmares never ended the same way. In one dream he’d kill you, the other you’d try to run away together, only for him to be killed. Sometimes you’d be caught instead. In the worst nightmares, it’d be your daughter who was caught and killed.

It’s not that you were afraid of Matthias. You feared him finding out because you didn’t want to lose him. Either from him leaving you, or the other Druskelle killing him.

While you were awake though, you fortunately had a friend. A woman named Elise, who lived a few houses down and was also a Grisha. A tidemaker to be more specific. 

When night fell and darkness covered you both, you two would become a particular thorn in the Druskelle’s sides. Elise would use her tidemaker abilities to create harsh waves that would knock over the boats before they could depart, or icicles that pierced the bottom of the boats, while you would free any Grisha the Druskelle decided to make a “public example” out of. That among other things caused the Druskelle to have a hit out on both of you, but since you were never caught, it was like trying to capture a shadow. 

“I know that I’m right”, Elise said. You rolled your eyes. This was the third time she brought up the possibility of her son, Erik, liking your daughter.

“They’re six Elise”

“I knew what I wanted at six! Plus, Erik gave his scarf to her. Isn’t that proof?”

“No. He noticed she was cold and he was nice”. Elise waved dismissively and went to open her mouth, but luckily Matthias emerged from the back. You had to admit, if you hadn’t known Matthias, you’d be startled by his build. He once told you that he was the tallest and biggest kid amongst the Drukelle, and you never doubted it. Even now, he was taller and bigger than most of the men you saw walking around. He absolutely terrified Elise when she first saw him, and you always brought it up when you wanted a good laugh. 

“They’re too young to date” he said simply before he placed a kiss on your cheek. “They should wait till they’re older and he can court her properly”

You spoke before Elise could make a sarcastic remark, “where are you off to?”

“Boating docks. We’ll be taking off before the week is done, and we have to stay alert”. You fought against the urge to shoot a glance at the woman sitting next to you. Matthias mistook you anxious about being caught for anxiousness about his safety. He rubbed your cheek lightly with his thumb and looked at you with soft eyes, “I’ll be ok”.

You nodded in understanding and off he went, not knowing he was watching out for you. 

~~~

You peered out your window, watching the sun start to go down. You had told the kids to be home at six bells. Foolish of you to think they’d actually listen when you weren’t watching them. 

“I’m gonna start looking for them”, you announced as you threw your coat on. Your hand hovered over the doorknob, before suddenly it was thrown open. 

Erik stood in the doorway, eyes wide, mouth opening and closing like a fish taken out of the water. His left sleeve was completely wet, and you couldn’t help but notice that your daughter was nowhere to be seen.

“Where’s-”

“W-we were playing on the lake and… and… and i-it’s not my fault!”

“What isn’t your fault?”

“The ice cracked! I tried to pull her out but she kept moving!”.

Your heart sunk, your breath caught in your throat. Fjerda was always freezing, and who knew how long Erik had waited before he finally came to get both of you. 

It was one of those moments where you mentally blacked out, only fully gaining consciousness when all three of you were approaching the lake. Your feet moved faster when you noticed the hole she undoubtedly fell in. Shouts telling you to slow down fell on deaf ears as you kept running. You approached the hole, hoping maybe she was close by, but she wasn’t. You kneeled, hoping being closer to the ice would help you spot her.

You heard shuffling and panting behind you. “I told Erik to get Matthias. Do you see her?”

“Do you see her in my arms?”, you snapped unintentionally, too preoccupied to care about how harsh that sounded. 

You got back to your feet and overlapped your fingers over each other, making a triangle shape.

“Y/N anyone could see!”. You ignored her words and kept trying to feel for the familiar heartbeat.

You felt a heartbeat, but it did nothing to ease your worries when you realized how slow and faint it was. You followed it, the heartbeat leading a while away from the initial hole in the ice. 

“Elise!”, you called when you saw the familiar hair color of your daughter and her bright colored jacket. Your back stayed to Elise, afraid if you took your eyes off your daughter that she would float away again.

The ice above her cracked before it erupted, it being moved with ease. You silently said a prayer to any higher power that was listening, and thanked them for giving you a tidemaker as a friend. 

You dropped down, pulled the young girl up and laid her on the ice. Your hands went over her heart, once again ignoring the protests coming from the woman behind you. It wasn’t her child dying. It was yours.

“Come on… come on…”, you mumbled. 

You kept muttering encouraging words under your breath, as if all she needed was a good push. You kept telling her to wake up, only letting yourself let out a breath of relief when her eyes opened and she coughed up water. You pulled her up and patted her back, your own heartbeat still not slowing down. You slipped off her jacket and replaced it with your own, your own arms now freezing, but your own freezing body was the least of your concerns. 

You heard more footsteps and looked up, seeing Matthias approaching. He kneeled down, scooping her in his arms and sighing, “Let’s get her inside and get her warm. She’s freezing”.

~~~

Your heartbeat only slowed down when you laid your daughter down to sleep. You watched over her for a while, monitoring her heartbeat. You didn’t know what Matthias was doing. He started acting strange once you got home. Maybe it was shock. You couldn’t tell him how to process the near death experience of his only child.

You left your daughter’s room and made your way to your own bedroom, but your eyebrows furrowed when you noticed Matthias was nowhere to be seen. You checked the bathroom, living room and kitchen, but Matthias wasn’t there. You stepped outside, finally seeing Matthias outside standing, eyes up to the sky. 

You made your way to his side, “how long have you been out here?”. Matthias didn’t respond. You looked up at the stars like he was, “were you speaking to Djel?”.

He nodded. “I was asking for guidance and forgiveness”.

You frowned. Forgiveness for what? For not predicting what happened today? Who could have? It was an accident. A terrible accident, but an accident. You weren’t even angry at Erik or Elise.

“Today was not your fault Matthias. You don’t need to ask for forgiveness”.

Matthias once again didn’t respond. Instead, he walked back into the house. You followed him, calling his name, but getting nothing in return. You grabbed his arm, noticing when he flinched and took a deep breath.

“I know you’re scared because of what happened today. I am too, but don’t push me away. Talk to me-”

“Stop”, he said firmly. He turned to face you, and for the first time ever, he didn’t look at you with softness and love or patience and caring. His eyes were harsh, his eyes now reminding you of a storm instead of the calm sea. “How’d you find her? That’s not the hole she fell in”.

“No one knows where she fell. We weren’t there”.

“Erik was, and he said you weren’t where D/N fell. So, how’d you find her?”.

“I looked around”, you half lied. You had been looking around… just with a little help. “I saw her hair and jacket”.

“Why was there another hole?”

“It was already there”, you lied once again but Matthias didn’t look convinced. “Why… Why are you asking me this?”, you asked. You tried your best to remain calm, hoping he hadn’t seen anything, and if he did you were hoping you could lie your way out of it. You couldn’t let your nightmares come true.

“You’re lying”.

“I’m not”.

“I saw you! I saw your hands over her!”. You unintentionally backed away when his voice rose. He didn’t seem as soft and caring as he usually was. You tried to think quickly. 

“I-I was giving her CPR. There was water in her lungs, I wasn’t just gonna wait for a doctor-”

“I saw Elise break and move the ice without touching it! I saw you with your hands over D/N! Why are you still lying to me?!”.

You went silent. You couldn’t think of a lie out of this. You tried, you really did, but how could you explain that?

“You’re a liar”.

“Matthias”

“It all makes sense. What’s been happening recently. Ships wrecked, sudden bad waves, Drusje escaping, Druskelle being disoriented”, he took a pause, his eyes never getting softer “it was you two. And that’s why you kept telling me to stop being a Druskelle”.

“I…”, you thought for a moment, trying to find a good response. “I wanted to tell you but I didn’t wanna lose you-”, Matthias turned away but you kept talking, your words coming out rushed “I love and care for you so much and Matthias, Grisha are not bad people, despite what you’ve been taught”.

“Is D/N a witch?”

“Grisha are not witches and I don’t know. I didn’t think to test her yet”. Silence filled the room before Matthias spoke up again, 

“But she could be”

You moved to be in front of him, “she’s still our daughter-”

“She’s your daughter”.

You froze. All of a sudden the girl he cared for since she was a newborn, the girl he told bedtime stories to and let sleep next to him when she had a nightmare, was no longer his daughter?

“Don’t do this. She’s still your daughter. I’m still your wife!”, you pleaded. Your hands raised to cup his face but he backed away. You looked into his eyes, trying to read what he was feeling. It didn’t work. He had become a hard wall, unwilling to budge. “I love you and you love me”.

“None of this was real. This was your witchcraft. You made me fall in love with you!”

“You know that’s not true!”, you almost yelled. “Everything between us is real! I married you because I love you! I had your child because I love you! I didn’t make you fall in love with me, that’s not even how my power works!”

“You’re a witch who can boil blood and stop a pulse! Who knows what else you can do?!”

“I would NEVER do that to you or anyone else even if I could!”. You stepped closer to him, but once again he stepped back. “You can’t possibly be that afraid of me”

“I’m not afraid of witches”

“You hate me”. You waited for Matthias to deny it. For him to pull you into a hug and say he’d hear you out, but neither came. You sighed, how could all of this change in a matter of hours? “You wanna hate me, but you don’t and you know you don’t”.

Matthias looked away from you. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, then opened his eyes again. He didn’t look back at you though. “I have to report you and Elise”.

You shook your head, “no you don’t!”. Your hands gripped his arms, sorrow and agony behind your words, “Matthias please!”.

Matthias looked down at you, “I’ll wait until half bell. After that, we’ll be looking for all of you”.

All of you.

You, Elise, Erik, your daughter.

When Matthias hadn’t budged, you ran to your daughter’s room. You quickly got her dressed and threw a coat over her tiny frame. She kept asking questions and rubbing her eyes, but you couldn’t spare any time to answer them. 

What really broke your heart though, is when she saw Matthias. She slipped from your grasp and made her way to him, “where are we going?”. Matthias picked her up and held her, and her arms and legs wrapped around him. Her head falling in the crook of his neck. You had hoped that maybe he changed his mind, but you guessed picking her up and comforting her was like a reflex, because once he seemed to realize what he was doing, he put her down and stepped away from her. 

You picked her up, ignoring her confused murmurs and spared Matthias one last glance before you left. You ran over to Elise’s house, telling her of the news. Like you, she had to wake up her child, and dress him quickly. You two knew you couldn’t go to the boat harbor, so you started on foot to the Ravkan border, the cold air freezing the tears on your face.

A/N: my bad if there's mistakes, I'm sick and this screen is hurting my eyes. Also in the books at least, they use bells instead of like, "6pm" but anyway-. I don't know if I wanna make a part 2 or leave this as a stand alone. Stay tuned to see if this sickness takes me out.

[therottenkingsreckoning]

Right, we're actually doing this.

I'm super nervous posting something like this, but with the encouragement of friends I feel ready to share with y'all the first chapter of this Franklydear mpreg fluff-fic I've been writing! Might post more chapters if reception to this one turns out to be good, but for now, have this!

~Little Flame, Chapter 1~

It began on a day like any other. That's when Frank first began to notice it anyway. He woke slowly, morning light streaming in from a crack in the blinds directly into his face. Combined with the strange coiling pain inside their gut, it made being awake on this particular morning rather unpleasant. Sensing his lover's stirring, Eddie tried to pull them close, but the same awful pain made Frank pull away.

Of course, that definitely woke the man up. Frank was never one to refuse the morning cuddles of his husband, in fact he cherished them more than anything else. "You feeling alright love?" Eddie asked, the rumble of sleep mixed with gentle and loving concern in his voice.

"Mm, s-sorry dear, " Frank said, sitting up and gently rubbing the sore spot in his stomach. "I feel a little nauseous right now. Don't know why."

"Nauseous?" Eddie was wide awake now, sitting up himself and looking worriedly at his partner. "Was it something you ate maybe? I hope my cooking's not that bad." The last line was added with a dry and awkward chuckle, clearly hoping to lighten the mood they'd woken up to a little bit.

"No! No, those were delicious," Frank assured him quickly, thinking back to the tacos his husband had made last night. Eddie really was an excellent cook, though the stress of his job often left him with little energy for such things. It was a treat to be enjoyed whenever he did have time to cook. Unfortunately for Frank though, thinking about food at the moment was a bad idea.

With a surge and squeeze of their insides, Frank was sent leaping off the bed, rushing into the bathroom just in time to throw up in the sink. Staring weakly up at his reflection, a sorry sight met them- bleary eyed, hair still in tangles, mouth wet with drool and leftover puke. What did Eddie even find appealing about such a wreck? Why would anyone look at this and not want to vomit themselves?

The pain had begun to subside, fading into a dullish ache in his lower gut, but they still inexplicably felt like he wanted to cry. What was with them right now? Pushing the irrational feelings down for the moment, he turned just in time to see the sheepish face of Eddie poking through the bathroom door. "Now I know that ain't right," he said with genuine worry. "You're clearly sick Frankie, I really hope it wasn't me that caused it."

That got the floodgates open on Frank's emotions. How much he loved and was loved by this man! Such simple gestures of care might as well have been heroic acts in their mind right now, and he almost reached to embrace and kiss him. But then, remembering the taste of bile on his lips, they turned back to brush their teeth quickly, a toothbrush-munching smile thrown his way around the drying tears.

"If's pr'lly jus' flu," Frank said.

Eddie was clearly not yet convinced (and more than little bit confused by this point) but some more gentle reassurance convinced him to leave it be for the moment. It probably was just a case of the flu, it was the right season for it.

Once they'd finally shooed the man off on his work route with promises to rest and recover, Frank fell onto the living room couch, finally allowing himself to feel the full extent of the sudden pain. Their back was killing him since they'd woken up this morning, and the peristent throbbing pain of his guts had shifted into their womb. That part felt reassuringly familiar. Maybe it was caused in part by his period starting again. He was due for one soon.

Actually...they were overdue.

The thought struck him like an arrow to the chest. The nausea, the cramps, the weird mood swings...the missed period. Could he be...

Shaking slightly, Frank's hands raked through his messy morning hair, tangling it further as they held his head steady and fought the urge to throw up yet again.

You don't know that's the case, they chastised himself, It...it could be the flu, like you said. Or a hormone imbalance.

But what if he was pregnant? How would the two take care of children? Did Eddie even want them? Frank certainly wasn't opposed to the idea, but it had always been in the abstract, "one day" vibes, not it actually happening!

Slowly, they forced himself to breathe and calm their swirling mind. I need to think about this logically, he thought.

There was really only one way of knowing for sure, of course. He'd need to buy a test from Howdy's shop. But he couldn't do that. The mere idea was agony. Frank wasn't out to most of the neighbors, at least not in regards to his sex. Julie knew, of course, she'd been there since before their transition, helped get him their first dose of T and worked odd jobs to pay for his top surgery. And Eddie knew. He definitely knew all that by now. As far as the others were aware though, Frank might as well have been AMAB. It was none of their business anyway.

But now it seemed, one more would have to be made aware. If I'm not I can finally relax and be sick, Frank told himself, steeling themselves for the journey. And if I am...

What would they even do? How would they possibly take care of a child, the responsibilities, the stress? And before they even got to that, the idea of birthing one! The pain and stress and mess of it! That was-

"Meow."

Frank looked up suddenly from where they'd curled up on the couch, eyes still speckled with the anxious tears as they met the soft black face of Bacon, their cat. Behind her, brothers Egg and Cheese soon followed, seemingly drawn to comfort their nervous parent. Or maybe they just wanted him to feed them. Whatever the reason, he was grateful they were there. Anything to get their mind off things.

Gently patting and kissing each, Frank stumbled to their feet and wandered into the kitchen for food, both his own and the cats'. The trip to Howdy's would happen, it had to. But maybe not yet.

[ofstoriesandstardust]

that's the thing about illicit affairs

a/n: i am once again posting for a series that no one but @cottagecori and i care about

summary: The conversation.

the waiting room series

warnings: swearing, complicated familial relationships, mentions of cancer

word count: 1.7k

“and you wanna scream, don’t call me kid”

You try to take a deep breath, trying to identify each feeling that swirls blindly inside of you as you wait for someone to answer the door. 

fear, anger, hurt

The silence feels never-ending, reaching into the cracks of your soul, your only companion the crickets and the starry night. 

You aren’t even sure if anyone is home or will answer the door. You have half a mind to go back to your car and drive off and never come back to this town. 

This town, that held all of your pasts and your ghosts, the town that had forever haunted you-

“Kid?” 

You blink, realizing Tom has opened the door. 

“What are you doing out here? It’s pouring-”

Was it? You’d hardly even noticed it had started to rain on the way over from Natasha’s. 

“Is it true?” You hear yourself say as Tom pulls you inside. 

“Pete, can you grab a towel?” He shouts over his shoulder, guiding you to the living room. “Is what true?” 

Stand By Me is paused on the screen, the living room bathed in a warm glow from the tableside lamp. 

Pete appears alongside his husband, a bit breathless as his eyes go wide at the sight of you. 

“Kid?” 

“Don’t call me that.” You snap, eyes narrowing. “Is it true?” 

“Is what true?” Pete says, warily taking a step forward towards you. 

“Is it true, that Tom said he’d divorce you if you had a relationship with me? Is it true?” Pete can only sigh as he stops trying to creep towards you. The movement makes your heart sink, tears suddenly clogging your throat. “Because I won’t- I won’t be responsible for breaking up a second marriage, especially not when one of you is dying from cancer.” 

Pete sighs again as Tom’s eyes widen slightly. “Let’s sit down on the couch.” His voice is softer now and he takes another step towards you, wrapping the towel around your shoulders. It’s soft, fluffy, the good kind of fabric. Certainly nothing like what you had growing up that was threadbare, mutli-colored from years of use, and covered in questionable stains. 

“I want an explanation.” You say firmly, but you sit down next to him on the couch all the same. 

He nods. “And I’ll give you one. Anything you want to know, I’ll tell you. I owe you that.” 

“So? Is it true that you’re going to get divorced now that I’m in the picture?” 

Pete shakes his head. “No-”

“But at one point, you would’ve.” 

The words aren't really a question but Pete hangs his head all the same. 

“When Pete first found you, in 2017-” 

“Wha- in 2017? I was in high school then- you mean to tell me-” Your head is swimming with information and you don’t even realize you’ve rocketed up off the couch until Pete is gently guiding you to sit back down. 

“Let me start from the beginning. I did not cheat on Tom, he and I have both agreed to that. We had a fight and at the time, we both believed we were broken up. Your Mom was the only person I slept with during that time, I just needed to blow off some steam.” 

“Then why- why threaten a divorce if I’m in the picture, I don’t understand-” 

“Because I wasn’t ready to hear it.” Tom admits softly and Pete gives his husband a glance. 

“We’ll get to that.” Pete squeezes your shoulder. “In 2017, Carole was at a house-warming party. Your Mom was there, friend of a friend of a friend, and she was very drunk. My name and the words affair and daughter were dropped more than once. And Carole- she knew. She has always known. And so she came to me, confronted me, asked me if it could be true. And I told her yes. She asked if I’d want to know you and I said yes. So, behind Tom’s back, I hired a private investigator.” 

“Why wait so many years? You left me in a house with no love-” 

“I know, I know. But, at the time, Tom was battling cancer. We weren’t sure if he would live to see the end of the year. And I knew- I knew that if I came forward with it, it would break our marriage.” 

“But now it won’t?” 

“I’ve changed my mind.” Tom says, clearing his throat.

“Why?” 

“Back then, I was just barely in remission. I was still so scared and the thought that all this had happened without my knowledge hurt me. But, we’ve been through a lot, Pete and I, over the last year. I’ve realized throughout it, that I didn’t want my husband to die and die resenting me for not knowing you. And as Pete started to reveal more to me what the PI had found out about your family, I knew that there had to be something more to offer you.” 

“We had just found you again, not too long before you showed up at the Hard Deck with Natasha.” 

“You knew.” You say, letting out a breath. 

Pete lets out a laugh, but there is no humor behind it. “Yeah, I knew. I’d just spent all that time trying to find you and there you were, cozied up on the arm with one of my pilots. It just made everything so-” 

“Complicated.” You finish for him, remembering Natasha’s words from a few weeks ago. 

He nods. “Yeah. The last thing I wanted to do was get in the way of you and Natasha being together if you decided you didn’t want a relationship with me. So, I decided to step back. I may not be able to have you in my life as my daughter but you were still in my life.” 

“And that was enough for you?” 

“It was never going to be enough. Being able to build a relationship with you is all I have wanted.” 

You swallow at the earnest honesty in Pete’s eyes. 

“Wait, so- what about the cancer? Bradley told me- He made it seem like-” 

“I’ve been in remission for over five years now. There’s always a chance it could come back but-” Tom finishes, shrugging his shoulders. 

The silence that follows is deafening. Pete waits patiently for you to speak next. 

He’s had years to process knowledge you’d only had days to wrap your brain around. 

“I don’t- I don’t understand why Bradley’s so angry with me.” You finally land on, shaking your head. “What did I do to him?” 

“I think,” Tom says softly, “in Brad’s head- you’re stepping on a family he just got back.” 

“That’s stupid.” You say bluntly. “I didn’t ask for this; I didn’t want this.” 

You’re standing again and Pete is quick to match you, rising as you do. 

“Kid-” 

“Stop calling me that!” You nearly shout, stepping back from him. “I am not a kid! I am not your kid!” 

Pete flinches at your words but you don’t acknowledge it. 

“I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t ask for you. I didn't ask to be born from an affair or- or for any of this! I don’t want this! I don’t-” 

You’re heaving, struggling to get in a breath as your eyes fly wildly throughout the living room. 

“You don’t get it, do you? I spent my whole life in a loveless home, growing up with parents who hated me for who I was and what I represented. I dug myself out of there, I created my future. No one else helped me do it, I did it. And now what, now that I’m someone successful, now that I’m easier to love, you want in?” 

Pete shakes his head. “No, no, it was never because I didn’t love you or didn’t think that I could. It’s just-” 

“It’s just better for you now? More convenient? Easier? Because look, I’m really sorry my existence, an existence you caused, was such an inconvenience to you.” 

“Stop.” Tom says firmly, finally standing. “Stop blaming Pete. If you’re going to yell at anyone, yell at me.”

“Tom-” 

Tom puts a hand out, cutting off his husband. 

“I was the one who kept Pete out of your life for years. It was my decision and my choice. Trust me, Pete wanted to know you so badly. He would have done anything, paid any lawyer and fought any court battle he would’ve had to to get you out of your home when he found you in 2017. I was the one who stopped him then, who stopped him all these years. You have every right to be angry but be angry with me. Pete doesn’t deserve your anger.” 

You swallow, watching Tom as he talks. For a man as old as he is, his age doesn’t show in that moment. A fire lines his face, his shoulders pulled back tight. You imagine this is the strength that had earned him the title of Commander of the Pacific Fleet, that had allowed him to climb those ranks. 

And then, to your horror, the tears start. 

It all feels too overwhelming, like you’ll never get past this moment right here. Like you’ll be crushed by the heavy weight of it all, right here in these two men’s living room. 

A shiver racks your body as you finally feel the chill of your rain-soaked shirt. Your lip wobbles as warm tears begin to track down your face. 

And yet all you can see is the moment Pete’s face falls. 

“Come here.” He says softly, beckoning you to him. You take a hesitant step towards him but he meets you in the middle, wrapping his arms around you. He tucks his head on top of yours as you become breathless with tears. “I’m sorry.” He whispers. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I’m so sorry this has all come out in the worst way possible. I am so, so sorry.” 

Your fingers find purchase in his cotton shirt, shoulders trembling. “Tell me what I’m supposed to do now.” 

He lets out a long breath. “You can do anything you want to.” 

You hiccup. “I want to-” 

What did you even want? 

To go home. 

But what was even home for you anymore?

[onetimetwotimesthreetimess]

“Baby?”

Magnus raises his head and finds his husband with a soft expression on his face.

“Hey.”

Alec crosses the distance and sits infront of him cross legged on the bed.

“How are you holding up?”

“Fine. You?”

“Okay-ish.” 

Magnus leans closer and kisses his forehead softly, mindful of the bundle between the two of them.

“And, how is my other baby doing?” Alec asks in the gentlest of voices and looks down at his lap, where their daughter sleeps peacefully. 

“She’s strong.” Magnus states and strokes her cheeks. 

Alec bends down to kiss her forehead. “The boys are waiting for you, outside.”

Magnus sighs. “I don’t get it.”

“Magnus, they are kids.”

“They are her brothers, Alexander. Why don’t they like her?” Magnus asks sadly.

Alec grabs his face in his hands and places a soft kiss on his lips. “Baby, it’s not like that.”

“Max wasn’t like this when we got Rafe.” 

“Rafael was older than Max so he didn’t mind much. He had someone to play with. But Max doesn’t know what to do with Ari, she’s a baby.” 

Magnus shifts Arianna closer to his chest, remembering how badly things could have ended today. “And what’s Rafael’s excuse?”

Alec hesitates. “I think he’s scared.”

“We’re not replacing them.” Magnus sighs sadly. He loves Rafael and Max with everything but the two have made things harder for them the past few weeks. 

“They don’t know that. We do spend most of our time with her these days.”

Magnus hates that what Alec just said was true. “You know why that is.” 

Alec pushes himself up from the bed and opens the door so that the boys can enter. The two look so sad and guilty that his heart cracks. Alec bends down and kisses their heads.

He has been mad at the two of them too. But then he saw how pissed Magnus was and had realised that the boys could do with at least one parent on their side. 

“Hi.”

“Is bapak mad?” Rafaela’s voice comes through.

Alec nods his head and the boys deflate. “We are sorry, daddy.” Max bites his lips.

“Come inside.”

The two pad towards the bed with slow movements.

Magnus loves them too much to be mad at them so he pats on the space next to him and the two of them jump, but carefully. 

“Is Ari okay?”

Alec runs a finger through Max’s head and nods. “She is now. But it could have ended badly.”

“We’re sorry. We didn’t mean to hurt her.” The boys apologise and a few tears slips from their eyes.

“You need to apologise to her.” Magnus says to them, without any heat. They have felt enough guilty. 

Max and Rafael leans closer towards Ari. Rafael lets out a careful hand and strokes her cheek. he looks scared. “You wont hurt her, Rafael.”

Max has no such inhibitions and he kisses her forehead then gives Magnus a beaming smile. 

“We are sorry, Ari.” 

The second they do that, Arianna wakes up from her sleep and grabs their hands. Or fingers. Since she is so small.

Fuck. She is so small. Magnus can’t believe it sometimes.

A wide smile appears on Alec’s face and Magnus himself feels his heart full.

“What happened today can never happen again, okay?” Alec says.

The boys nod. 

“Are you going to tell us why you are so bothered by us?”

Max pouts. “You are always with her.”

“You missed nailpaint night twice now.” Rafael says, his voice barely audible.

Magnus looks at Alec and his husband takes Arianna in his arms without any saying anything.

He holds the boys closer to him and kisses their forehead. “I’m sorry. We are sorry for neglecting you two.”

Alec gives him a look and Magnus sighs because he knows what Alec wants.

“Arianna is a little sick, right now. It might take her some time to get better.” Magnus can hear the pain through his husband’s voice.

Rafael and Max looks alarmed. “What’s wrong?”

Magnus takes a deep breath. “It’s her heart. It’s a little weak.”

The two frown at it since they don’t really know what it means.

“But she’ll be okay?”

He gives them a smile. “She will be.”

Rafael holds her hand carefully while Max yells. “I will protect Ari.”

-a little glimpse into the life of Lightwood-Banes sone fifteen years before Magnus’s murder/death(?).

[pop-pop-pop-popculture]

Idina Menzel: Take Me or Leave Me Tour

Idina Menzel is an absolute gem that must be cherished and protected at all costs. My love for her is infinite.

HER OUTFIT. It started as one big gown and then, one by one, each piece was stripped down to a basic, nightwear outfit.

The boots felt a little unnecessary just because of how high and wide they were, but I would not expect anything less from her.

The stripping of the gown was done so quickly yet effortlessly.

I was absolutely crying on the inside. 🥹🤧

Idina told us a story that correlated to the next song, and the way she transitioned into each song was done so smoothly. We love a good storyteller.

Idina talked a little bit about mental health. Just another thing to add on my long list of why I love her. The way she transitioned into the topic, though, was clever. As the band was playing the instrumental opening for "Twisted" (originally sung by Joni Mitchell), she discussed it, but she had a comedic approach. I, too, have anxiety, you beautiful human being.

Quote: "My mother's one, and my husband's one. So... I'm a little bit of a, uh, hot mess."

Idina and her never-ending love for cursing.

The story she told before she sang "Do You Want to Build a Snowman" was great. The moment she mentioned snowboarding, I knew what song was coming next. Basically, she tried snowboarding with her son and it did not end well for her.

Quote: "But the things I'll do, you know, to be a cool mom! [sigh] It's really hard."

Darling, you are a Tony winning, Broadway legend who portrayed the original Maureen Johnson and Elphaba Thropp as well as voice Queen Elsa from the global phenomenon animated Disney film Frozen. You are most definitely cool, and an absolute queen. 🤩🥰

Quote: I'm a real advocate of the 'Me Too' movement, but I also don't mind someone telling me my boobs look good in this dress and my ass looks good in these tights. It's just cause I'm over fifty and I just need to be complimented every once in a while! H.R. IS AWARE, so... if you have a problem with it..."

God love this beautiful, talented, hot mess.

As "Life of the Party" began to play, Idina talked about her 'raunchy' character, Kate, from her off-Broadway musical The Wild Party, which was "way before Elsa days", and then cracked herself up by admitting "I really miss her!"

I love when Idina makes herself laugh.

The next bullet is what Idina said was going through her head after John Travolta messed up her name:

Quote: "WHO THE FUCK'S ADELE DAZEEM?! WERE THE QUEUE CARDS SWITCHED?! This isn't helping, just let it go, bitch. Oh, shit! That's the song! Oh, come on, you're a pro. Just get ready, Adele. I mean IDINA!!"

*The way she just perfectly reenacted her reaction on that exact day (March 2, 2014) and easily transitioned into "Let It Go" was phenomenal. I actually don't recall watching the Academy Awards that year, so I didn't know this happened! However, the moment she said the date and then the audio of him introducing her began to play, I knew what song she was going to sing.*

She sang the (I think) off-Broadway version of "No One Mourns The Wicked" from Wicked and I had no idea what to think about it, but I love how she went hard with it to the point of headbanging.

I never saw If/Then but "You Learn to Live Without" is beautiful. I loved all of the slow, sentimental songs, especially her cover of "Why" by Annie Lennox.

Of all the songs on the setlist, my most favorite was "Everybody Knows". I enjoyed watching her sing all of them!

The only song I disliked, however, was "Buenos Aires". I love you, Dee, but why that song? She should have sang another song from her 2023 'Drama Queen' album! Which one? "Beast", because that is a bop, first of all, and so upbeat.

She sang two songs from her new musical, Redwood!

(She'll be back on Broadway next year, and the musical is being held at The Nederlander Theatre, which is where Rent took place!)

Finale: After she sang a cover of "No Day But Today", she said, in a monotone voice, “Goodnight, everyone, thank you.” with a straight face and then walked off. I was very confused and a little disappointed, because there was one specific song she didn't sing. As the audience kept cheering, I thought to myself, 'There is no way in hell she just did that. There is no absolute way she went through a whole concert without singing that song!' However, nobody was leaving, so that's when I realized "Defying Gravity" was the finale song. Oh.. so that's what an encore is.

My girl really wore her heart on her sleeve, and I could tell that she was enjoying herself. I just want her to be happy! I also love how interactive she was with the audience, such as, for example, having a few fans sing Joanne's part in "Take Me or Leave Me" with her. I cannot sing, first of all, but even if I could, if she asked me to sing with her...I would cry and then die. Overall, this was an incredible concert. It was intimate, humorous at times, powerful, upbeat, and just all around entertaining. Idina really knows how to put on a show!

🍂 September 5, 2024 🍂

[siriannatan]

Best Spot for a Nap - scfwhip

It was meant to be a bit shorter but I got another idea so it got a bit longer.

'Go hang out with your fiancé,' his parents told Scott, to his brother's dismay. Unfortunately for Xor, Scott was more than happy to fly to Grimlands to escape all his classes and other princely duties.

First thing he did in Grimlands was, as always, fly a bit over the area. It was dang pretty if a lot less noisy and dusty than one word expect. Not that noise would be any trouble with how high up Scott liked to fly.

Once he was satisfied with flying he flew towards fWhip's manor. It was pretty and comfy enough for Scott's standards and his cooks made excellent tartlets in many flavoursome. As he neared the mansion he spotted fWhip's helpers running around like headless chickens, looking up to the roof. With burning curiosity he checked there first and found...

Count fWhip, the terrifying half-dragon ruler of Grimlands... Spread out on the roof of his home. Having a pleasant nap judging by how he was purring a little bit.

Holding back giggles Scott sat next to him and started playing with his hair. Scratching at the base of his impressive, decorated with dark metal, gold and gems horns. That got him really purring and Scott could no longer hold back his giggles.

"Why are you here?" The count asked, on eye cracking open to stare at the elf who dared interrupt his dragon-nap.

"I was told to hang out with you," Scott grinned, and started to retreat his hand.

"No, no, carry on, that felt nice," fWhip hummed and yawned widely. Shwing off all his sharp teeth. Scott shuddered as his mind conjured rather inappropriate for the moment images.

"Your helpers seem to be panicking about you being here," Scott hummed as he caught some distant yelling for fWhip to come down.

"They probably got a message that you're coming and want me to make myself more presentable," fWhip sighed and sat up with another yawn. Scott was damn lucky that his parents got him a pretty future husband. "We should go down and get them to stop," he sighed and stretched a little. Careful as to not push Scott off the roof.

"Shame, your naps are cute," Scott giggled and got himself an infuriated huff.

"Don't worry, I'm not telling anyone," he added, just to poke him a little bit.

fWhip hummed something about annoyingly pretty elves ruining his plans and jumped down. Gracefully gliding down towards his advisors.

Scott waited until he landed and quickly followed. With a much more graceful landing.

"...lord Scott's coming for a visit he can't..." The advisors fretted and froze as Scott landed behind fWhip, instantly wrapping him in a hug, using that he's taller.

"I don't mind if he's a bit rugged, it's a good look," he grinned and fwhip just rolled his eyes.

"I have stuff to do Scott," fWhip sighed and offered the elf can do whatever he wants. Scott just said he'll tag along for fWhip's day.

To his credit Scott didn't once complain he was bored or tired. Even after two hours in fWhip's office as the count goes over boring paperwork. At least his staff was used to fWhip's constant snacking so they didn't mind supplying Scott with candy and cookies.

"Why do you have children's book in your office?" Scott suddenly asked. fWhip didn't have to look up to know what the elf meant.

"I learned to read with that book," he said with a soft smile. He was so desperate to keep up with Gem he barely did anything but try and learn to read as fast as she could. He never quite managed that.

Scott hummed, fWhip caught him giving the cover of the book an affectionate smile. "I didn't take you for a memento type," he smiled at fWhip this time.

"I have a few I really like," fWhip shrugged. "You can always go to my library if you want something different, stuff in here is mostly ledgers and some personal favourites for when I take a break," he offered but Scott shook his head and read the children's book. He was visibly careful with it. "Gem enchanter it so it'd never break," fWhip half chuckled and returned to his work.

It felt strangely nice to have Scott read that particular book. He must have been starting to get old...

Scott woke up warm and comfy with vague recollection of some fairytale about a knight saving a Princess cursed into a dragon. It was a really nice story. He also remembered being in fWhip's office so he opened his eyes.

He had to be still sleeping. His head was in fWhip's lap, the count was reading some paper. His hair free of his usual short ponytail. Looking absolutely gorgeous in low light of sunset seeping in through the big windows.

"Slept well?" He asked, giving Scott an unfairly handsome smile.

"I... Yes... How long was I asleep?" Scott tried to act tough but quickly gave up and instead sat up. Hoping fWhip didn't see how he blushed.

"Not that long but it's about dinner time," fWhip informed, putting his papers away. "Did you enjoy the stories?"

"Yes, they're quite nice but I'm not sure if all are suitable for children," Scott shrugged and yawned. "You do not mind if I stay the night?"

"Not at all, I actually already send a message to your parent so your brother doesn't match here to kill me," fWhip shook his head with a smile.

Scott rolled his eyes as he followed fWhip to the dining room. He was wondering if he could convince fWhip to let him sleep in his lap. It was darn comfortable.

[shivunin]

Entanglements

(Emmaera Lavellan/Cullen | 704 Words | No warnings)

Emmaera’s second favorite thing about retirement was that she got to wake up as slowly or quickly as she wished.

This morning was a slow one, the sun drifting lazily higher in the sky, shifting its light on the bedroom floor where the curtains didn’t quite reach the edge of the window. She’d been awake for some time, listening to Cullen’s soft breathing. Perhaps she ought to have risen for the day. She’d considered it. But their legs were tangled together, bare and comfortable against the clean, fresh sheets and it was a rare morning that found his dreams wholly untroubled. 

She ought to get up—but she burrowed deeper instead, keeping her hand still where her fingers twined with his. When she’d fallen asleep, he’d still been at work downstairs, so she knew she hadn’t been the one to reach for his hand. She was far too deep a sleeper for that. 

There had been many, many times that she’d never expected him to trust her enough to reach for her like that—for comfort, for reassurance. She treasured it now. 

As she thought so, her husband stirred on his pillow and cracked his eyes open. 

“Mmm,” Cullen said, his voice thick, “Morning.”

“Morning,” she echoed, shifting against him, “I love you.

He smiled sleepily and flexed the fingers tangled with hers. 

“Love you too,” he said, “‘Time’s it?”

“No idea,” Emma said, “Let’s never get out of bed.”

“We,” he told her with a yawn, “Would get hungry. Eventually.”

“Unfortunately, you’re right.”

Cullen let go of her hand, but only to wrap his arm around her waist and tug her closer. The sheets had wrapped around their legs at some point, and it would take some doing to untangle them when they finally stood to go about their day. 

But not yet. 

“Did you know,” he told her, nudging her nose with his own, “That you are exceptionally lovely in the morning?”

“Oh?” Emma said, and feathered a kiss over his upper lip, “Am I?”

“Mmm,” Cullen replied, squeezing her thigh tightly between his, “Yes.”

“Why’s that?”

“Why? Well,” he thought for a moment, sleep still clinging to his eyes. She smiled at him and kissed his cheeks while he thought—carefully, thoroughly, as if she wanted to be sure to cover each inch of them. 

“Because there’s nothing else,” he said at last, “Just us. Nothing we have to do; nowhere we have to go. Because it reminds me that we have…as long as we want. Just the two of us. And I recall how lucky I am to be the one who gets to see you first in the morning.”

He thought for a moment, but shook his head slightly. 

“That’s it. That’s all.”

“Well, I think it’s a fine reason,” she murmured, leaning forward to kiss him, “And I am glad of the same; you are adorable with your curls all mussed and pillow creases on your cheek.”

Cullen grimaced, as she’d known he would, and, laughing, Emma kissed his nose. 

“I mean it,” she told him, “I mean it! My favorite hair in the whole world; my favorite cheek, and nose, and—”

He wrinkled his nose at her again and hauled her over him until she was lying across his chest. Emma squeaked, then laughed and kissed him again. 

“If you’re going to tease,” he said very severely, “I am going to climb out of this bed and find us food.”

“Are you?” she said, unsuccessfully trying to untangle her legs from the sheets, “And how are you going to manage that, Commander, when you’ve put me directly in your way?”

“How indeed,” he murmured, catching her hips in his hands and squeezing, “It is a mystery. Perhaps you can convince me to stay put instead.”

It was hard to kiss him when she was smiling so widely—but Emma supposed the effort was worth the reward, in the end. 

When it came to Cullen, she’d found, it often was—which was why, without question, her first favorite thing about retirement was that she didn’t have to spend it alone. He would be right there, at her side, for as long as they had. 

Of that, there was no doubt in Emma’s mind.

(for Day 7 of @14daysdalovers: Tangled. Wanted something cozy for these two c:)

[tracybirds]

Thundertober Day 1 😁😁 I love these prompts and I'm excited to spend some time with as many as I can!! Thank you @skymaiden32 for the prompts! Currently only have access to my phone bc overseas so please excuse any typos you spot 😅

Day 1 - Cave In

Alan hits a limit mid-rescue

Notes: significant emotional whump, hurt/comfort, generally the small one is having a bad bad time 🥺 (sorry Alan)

I promise it works out 💕

---

"Please, sir, stay calm," said Alan firmly. "Grab my shoulder, we'll move nice and slow. Ms Beaker, make a chain with Mr Welsh and follow on."

"Stephen, I'm scared," she said, gripping her husband's arm tightly.

"I understand you're frightened," said Alan, taking a deep breath.

His mind whirled with months of overlapping advice and he paused for a moment, tying to find the right response.

"The passage is clear but we have to move single file. I can give you a glowstick to help make sure you don't trip?"

She nodded slowly, and quickly cracked the proffered stick.

"Sarah, you go ahead of me," said Mr Welsh, a waver of uncertainty clear in his voice.

She sniffled, wiping away a tear in the dim light.

"We're not normally like this," she said unhappily.

"You've not normally been trapped underground for several days either," Alan pointed out. "All things considered, you're doing amazing. And we're nearly there, the hard part is almost over."

She nodded, drawing herself upright.

"You're right, we can do this. Let's get out of this awful maze "

They formed a line and Alan swung his flashlight ahead of him. A line of luminescent dots showed him the way out, a series of modern breadcrumbs scattered by the drone that had charted the pathway tto the couple. All they needed to do was follow them home.

"This way," he said, and the group began to pick their way across the rugged terrrain.

The path wasn't easy and more than once they needed to squeeze through narrow passages or clamber through low-ceilinged spaces on all fours. Alan's breath quickened at each obstacle, but his two charges made it through them all with little complaint.

"How much further?" called Mr Welsh, his voice sounding pained.

Alan checked his monitor, cursing his failure to check in on the injured man and his heart sinking at the distance.

"Quite a way," he admitted slowly. "We should take a break."

"No, no," he said. "That's not necessary, I can keep going."

"This is my call, sir, you're in pain."

"I'm fine," began the protest, but Ms Beaker soon quitened him.

"Stephen, he's right. If we don't take care of that arm, it'll require much more painful treatment when we finally get out."

"And this is as good a spot as any," said Alan, giving them an encouraging smile that neither could see. "It's wide and open, and we can set up the artificial flame cubes."

By the dimly flickering light, he could see the toll the crisis was taking on the two. He had to admit to weariness himself. Making their way out of the cave system was proving to be a grueling process, and he missed being able to rely on his brothers' guidance. Still, that was what today was about. In situations like this, even International Rescue's specialised low attentuation radio waves couldn't penetrate this deep underground, and he had to get used to making decisions without them.

He hoped he was doing them proud.

"I can give you ibuprofen for the pain," he said softly. "And the splint seems to have kept the bone in the right place. Try not to lean on it too much when we're crawling; use your elbow instead."

"Thank you," said Mr Welsh tiredly, resting his head back against the rockface. He accepted the rations pack along with the pills, not saying a word.

Alan leant back, still thinking of how his brothers would respond to the dismal scenario. Gordon had an air of confident cheeriness that seemed to make dark moods vanish with barely a word. Virgil excelled at comforting those with fading hopes, making space for their fears and gently helping them find their stength for the next task at hand. John was so matter-of-fact that it never occurred to the people around him to worry even for a second. And Scott was kind and sure, never doubting his success, never losing his way.

Alan wished he could be even half as good as they were. Instead, he breathed deeply, holding onto the slow meditations Kayo had taught him and squashing down the uncertainty and fear that he was mucking everything up.

His brothers trusted him, he reminded himself. Being here, in this moment, was evidence of that very fact.

"Time to keep moving," he said, forcing Gordon's cheer into his voice. "I know it seems like a lot, but we're over halfway. We'll be hearing my brothers soon, and then we'll be able to call the Mole down."

"The 'Mole'?" asked Mr Welsh curiously as he stumbled to his feet.

Alan opened his mouth to respond, but froze as a deep rumble rippled through the earth.

"Get down," he said harshly. "Hands on heads, don't worry about the break."

Startled, they minicked his motions as a tremor swelled and shook the cave, a sharp jolt that threw them all forward accompanied by an unpleasant rolling as the floor dropped and rose to meet them.

Alan glanced upwards as he recovered himself, and there in the red glow of the artificial flame cube he spied the first fracture in the rock above.

"Oh, sh..."

His sentence is swallowed by the resulting cave in.

He can hear himself yelling, his heart rate spiking as he calls for his brothers and hears nothing. He's not trained for the way the darkness presses down on his limbs, nor the way his nerve fails as phantom pain flares with the adrenaline.

Gasping, he remembers his charges, and he calls to them, screams for them when they don't respond. He crawls to them, shaking helplessly at their unconscious bodies and clawing at the blocked passage when neither responds.

He has to get out. He has to get them out. And he can't.

He curls into a ball between Mr Welsh and Ms Beaker and tries to remember how to breathe.

He can't do this, and the thought that he's failed wells up inside of him, choking its way out of his throat as he lets loose a sob. Failure means death and he can't process that, it's never happened when he was so alone.

He calls out for his brothers who should be able to hear him, who do nothing to help him and he realises he might already be dead.

There's no rationality left.

The air is definitely thinning fast and he gasps for oxygen, fighting the black spots in his vision. He can almost hear Virgil yelling in the background to turn it off.

He laughs hysterically. He can't turn off his fear, he's not Scott. He's not clear-headed John, doesn't have Gordon's will to live, and will never be strong like Virgil himself.

The rock shimmers around him and vanishes, leaving him splayed out on the floor and struggling to catch his breath.

"Alan," called his brother and he can feel warm arms holding him close as he curls in on himself even more tightly, grasping at life, and sobs.

It's a long time before he remembers who he is.

Scott looked pale, his arms cradling him in a way Alan vaguely recalls from when he was small.

"You okay?" asked Gordon, crouched next to him. His hand hovered over Alan's shoulder like he was too scared to touch him.

Alan breathes. It's all he can do.

"John's coming down," said Virgil, brushing a hand across his forehead and sweeping back his blond hair.

"He doesn't need to," said Alan, his voice as frail as he feels.

"He wants to," said Virgil firmly. "That was a nasty shock you had."

Tears welled in his eyes again and Alan buried his face into Scott's chest, unable to look at his brothers any longer.

"I'm sorry," he cried. "I failed them, and I failed you. I tried so hard to think of how you guys would do it and I couldn't and I can't and..."

"Shhh," admonished Scott, his grip tight around him. "You haven't failed. You've found a limit, that's all. To be honest, I'm surprised we haven't hit one before now."

"A limit?"

"We test the limits so that we don't discover them mid-rescue."

"We're not superhuman, Alan," said Virgil. "We all have fears, we all have weaknesses."

Alan scoffed.

"You've never fallen apart like that."

"And how would you know, squirt," asked Gordon with a faint grin. "John's not about to put us on any rescue that we can't handle."

"The training is to get better, to be better, yes," said Scott softly. "But it's also to ensure we know how to keep each other safe."

"Surely you've noticed that you've only done cave rescues in training or within communication range," said Virgil. "This is the first time you've had to deal with this extreme."

"And it'll be the last," said John, striding into the room.m and falling to his knees to give Alan a hug. "At least until you're ready to train the scenario again."

Alan didn't say anything, squirming out of his grip.

"I just feel so stupid," he said into his knees. "I knew it was just a training sequence. I knew that."

"It doesn't have to make sense, Allie," said Gordon. "Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. I can't do anything too high speed, my brain just freezes."

"Fires," offers Scott. "Not anymore, and I'm still the last option only, but for a long time until I learned to trust Brains' safety margins on the protective gear."

"Which you did by creating an inferno of your own, and then panicking." grumbled Virgil. "Idiot."

"Hey, I only panicked until I realised nothing was burning me."

"Unfortunately, it was burning everything else."

"Avalanches," said John quietly, interrupting them. "Virgil and me both. I transfer the call and Grandma does the monitoring from the island."

A hush fell over the brothers.

"Point is," said Scott gruffly, "we'll look after you. So you're not cleared on cave rescues, big deal. You're as competent as the rest of us. Fear isn't weakness."

"Definitely not," said Virgil as John and Gordon murmured their agreement.

Alan looked up at each of them, his ownpersonal heros, still as strong and corageous and kind even now he knew they weren't as fearless as he'd imagined.

He flung his arms around them, pulling them in close.

"Thank you," he whispered. "Thank you."

[iamreykylotrash]

the sister i didn't protect.

Nesta walked through her sister's home, admiring her paintings.

Her artwork was beautiful, capturing the glory of the Night Court, her home of Velaris, her mate, and her child. This was where her happiness lay, with a family that she found and confided in.

Nesta couldn't help but crack a smile. Her sister no longer had to fight for survival. Instead, she was living, thriving even, like a flower blooming.

But that smile quickly left as Nesta reminded herself of their life in the Mortal Lands, remembering all that Feyre had done and never having an ounce of help from any of her family members.

It was a memory that Nesta turned away from, wanting to move on and see the brighter future that was in store for each of them. But after spending so much time in the darkness, it was hard not to look back.

Nesta knew that she could have done more, but her mother's words echoed in her mind.

Feyre will take care of you.

She had entrusted her younger sister with the well-being of her family, while all Nesta had to do was marry someone who had status and wealth, bringing her family out of poverty. She had spent so much time examining herself in the mirror, wondering what she could do to gain a fine man's attention, hoping that one day, money would land back in their laps again.

But for the time being, it was Feyre's job to hunt, kill, and gain enough to survive.

As the eldest Archeron walked down the long corridors, she could see the doors to the throne room wide open, the yellow light of the torches blinking through the hall.

When she walked into the room, Feyre was standing beside the window, looking out to her court. She was wearing a black dress, its hem trailing the floor. She was decored in diamonds, shining as they caught the light.

She was a High Lady in every way, even without a crown.

"Isn't it late for you to be up?" Feyre asked, still staring out the window.

Nesta let out a breath, "I didn't realize I had a curfew." She says.

Feyre scoffed, "You don't. But I expected you to be in your room all day, reading a book, or drinking tea. I know that since it's your last day, you are ecstatic to get back to Autumn." She told her.

It was true. Nesta couldn't wait.

After visiting her sisters for the week, Nesta had craved to back to her own home in the Autumn Court, wanting to crawl into her bed and warm up against her husband. She wanted to feel his arms around her, bask in his scent, and make love until she was wasted with him.

She couldn't wait for the sun to rise.

"I'm sure your husband will be delighted to see you," Feyre said, with a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

Nesta ignored it, "I don't need to talk about my personal life with you. My choices are my own. No one else's." She says.

Feyre nods, turning to her, "Of course. You made it pretty clear when you ran away from us. But you have made some poor choices so far, Nesta." She tells her.

Nesta knew where this conversation was going. Feyre wanted to get as much information about her relationship with Eris, not knowing that they truly cared for each other. Feyre believed Nesta was plotting against him, preparing to take him down, along with Autumn.

"As I said, my relationship with Eris is none of your concern. He is my husband. That's all your getting from me." Nesta says.

"But do you love him?" Feyre takes a step towards her.

Nesta did. Her heart ached for him.

But she'd never reveal that, especially to her sister.

"Do not push me, Feyre," Nesta warns her.

The youngest Archeron sighs, "Does Elain know the truth? Do you tell her about him and your true feelings? Is she the only one you confide in?" She asked.

Nesta stayed silent. Elain did know. She knew all of it, seeing as her middle sister was the one that she had stuck with all of her life, protecting her and entrusting her with secrets that no one knew. There were certain things she wouldn't tell her, but other than that, Elain knew everything.

Feyre's eyes brimmed with tears, "Why do you hate me? What have I done to you?" She breathed.

Nesta shook her head, "I don't hate you, Feyre. I never have." She tells her.

"Don't lie to me. I stayed up countless nights wondering what I did to deserve such silence from you. You never tell me anything. You never want to be with me. You always keep your distance. But with Elain, it's the opposite." She says.

Nesta swallows, "You and I had never had a relationship-" she starts, but Feyre interrupts.

"Because you never wanted to. All I ever wanted was to be close to my sisters and hope that whenever I needed them, they would be there for me. But it seems that the only time that you ever truly cared for me is when food would be served at the table." Feyre snaps, her anger seeping through.

Nesta sighs, "Feyre, it's difficult to explain. I know I should have done better, but..." she trails off.

"You can't even deny it. All of those years I kept us alive... and I have never heard you say thank you. I never received any love or support from you. I never even received the minimal help I asked of you." Feyre says, hitting Nesta with every word.

Nesta stalks towards her, “You knew how to handle everything! You were the one who caught the animals, skinned them, cooked them, and served them properly. I didn’t learn any of it! Father would tell me to do anything else, but I couldn't help you!” She told her.

She remembered when Feyre struggled to open a canned jar of beets, hearing her grunt. Nesta was about to offer assistance when her father grabbed her arm, shaking his head. He wanted Feyre to do everything on her own, even when she was desperate for help from either one of them.

But all Nesta could do was watch.

"Don't you dare lie to me! Since when did you care about our father's opinions? You always snapped at him when he gave you orders! You told him off when he tried to stop you from doing what you wanted! There was no limit to you! But now when it comes to me, that's when you decide to blame it on him?!" Feyre exclaims.

Nesta had never heard such anger from her sister, seeing as she was the one who kept her emotions to herself most of the time. She could see this rage was decades in the making, but it was now when it all started unraveling.

"I felt it was better for you to be alone!" Nesta yelled at her.

Feyre's tears fall, "I didn't want to be alone!" She screams.

Nesta couldn't say a word.

"I needed you. I needed Elain. I needed my sisters. Why do you think that I wanted you to train in the mountains? It's because I didn't want to lose you, to see you dead on the apartment floor. You were wasting your life. I know I shouldn't have pushed you, but Nes... I was so afraid of losing you." Feyre cries.

She continued, "I wanted all of us to be together. I wanted you to be happy here, even if it wasn't with Cassian. I wanted us to grow a bond with each other. I wanted us to finally be sisters instead of strangers. But I see now that it can never happen."

Feyre took a step back, "You married Eris. You became an adversary of the Night Court; of me. Your choices bore these consequences and there is nothing I can do. After this, you will head back to the Autumn Court and we might never speak again, but I want you to know this, Nesta-"

Nesta raises a hand, "Don't. Feyre, don't. I don't want to hear anymore." She says.

The Lady of the Heir sighs, finding the right words to say, "I should've stepped up. I should've taken the bow and braved the wilds on my own instead of you. You were just a little girl who had grown up too soon. I am sorry that I wasn't there for you. I am sorry for everything that happened to you, including Under the Mountain. You deserved better than us." Nesta states.

She steps towards her, taking Feyre's hands into hers, "But you get to live now. You get to thrive and be happy. I can't promise that I will be there for you, but know that I love you. Know that Elain loves you. And I wish you nothing but the best because it's what you deserve." Nesta says.

She lifts her sister's hands, pressing a kiss on each of them, "I'm sorry," she whispers before she lets them go, taking a step back.

Feyre sobs, "I don't want you as my enemy, Nesta. If you go back to the Autumn Court, that's exactly what we'll be. Neither of us can stop that." She tells her.

Nesta nods, "Your happiness lies here. Mine lies with the Autumn. Maybe one day I'll tell you everything, but know that I found where I am supposed to be. You are not an enemy in my eyes, little sister." She says to her.

"And nor are you in mine, Nes." Feyre breathes.

The eldest Archeron bowed her head once, before turning away from her sister, heading back into her rented room in Velaris. She changed into her nightgown, sitting on the windowsill as she admired the sparkling darkness.

She did not miss the hurt and pain that came with this court. This is where her trauma haunted her and where her life almost ended. This is where her choices were robbed and her life was decided for her. And this was where her heart was broken by the male she believed she was destined to be with.

No, she would not miss this court.

But she would miss Feyre, knowing that this was truly where she belonged. This is where she thrived, along with her mate, Rhysand, who would do everything to protect her. He was her happiness, along with their son.

Even though they had their fights and arguments, Nesta was proud of her little sister, knowing that she finally found peace.