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sameschmidtdiffname · 2 months

Note

I was wondering if you could do a fic with Mike Schmidt x fem!reader and the quote “can I stack donuts on it?” I apologize in advance 😭

THE FUCKING SCREAM I SCRUMPT WHEN I GOT THISSSSSS BITCH YOU GOT ITTTTTT

Cherries & Cream

Mike Schmidt x AFAB!Reader

Summery: It's a modest holiday. Spent indoors, soft music on the cassette player... oh, and a collection of bad ideas snowballed into a day of sticky situations

Tags: No use of Y/N, author has fucking lost it, comedy, Valentine's Day fic, mentions of failed masturbation attempts, mentions of inappropriate use of lightsabers and water snakes (I SAID AUTHOR HAS FUCKING LOST IT- DONT ASK, JUST READ, IT AINT THAT BAD!), sex toys, handcuffs, sex dice, pre-established relationship, food sex, blowjob, facial, Mike gets restrained like we all know he wants to be.

Notes: I'm not apologizing for shit.

▪︎◇{¤♧■♧¤}◇▪︎

"These are ridiculous questions."

"Oh, come on. Don't be a sourpuss," I say. Cards are scattered around the small box on our bed, both of us long deciding we'd clean up later.

"What does it say?" I ask him, leaning forward. I'm straddling his chest, my arms crossed against mine, dressed in nothing but one of his shirts. His hand on my hip is halfway under the black material, his pointer finger twisting the old cotton around his digit. His other hand holds a dark purple card that he rolls his eyes at before shifting them to focus on me towering over him.

"It doesn't even apply to you," he says.

"And how do you know?" I say smugly.

"Because I've sucked your dick and it's not big enough to apply," he says

"What? Give me that." I snatch the card from his hand, ignoring his laughter as he shifts his hand to rest on my other hip, rubbing soothing circles into my skin while I read.

'What's the weirdest thing you have ever stuck your dick in?'

A short laugh escapes me, a bit louder than it should be with Abby sleeping peacefully down the hall.

"I'm waiting," Mike jokes, smiling up at me with his lips twisted into a smug expression of sarcasm.

"I mean, I stuck a toy lightsaber up my snatch once," I say casually.

"What?" He bellows, descending into a fit of laughter so grand his chest is rattling underneath of me, making my face bloom with blood in embarrassment.

"I was fourteen!" I say quickly in my defense. This doesn't help my case, making him cackle loud enough I grab a pillow to shove onto his face to muffle his fit. He grabs my wrists before it can descend, holding them up as he wheezes.

"Oh, Qui-Gon Jin! You're my only hope!" He relaxes his grip slightly, allowing me to stiffle his incessant noise.

"That was Obi-Wan, and I liked Darth Vader!"

His hands shove the pillow away from his red face, eyes teary and judgemental.

"He's burnt!"

"It was the vibe! Mysterious, dark, and that voice!" I protest. Mike makes a pitiful attempt at the sounds of Vader's breathing through his mask, muddled with spit from his laughter. "James Earl Jones has a handsome voice!"

"It's just so hot," Mike cackled.

"Mike."

"Nothing can hold a candle to it."

"Michael."

"Makes me go-" a crude imitation of lightsaber noises is the last thing Mike can communicate before I'm slamming the pillow down on him, making him laugh harder and block his face from my playful blows as he begs for mercy.

"You're a dick!"

"You'd stick yours in one of those- those-" as he regains his breath and I lessen my attacks, he snaps his fingers, one hand slapping gently against my thigh for thought.

"Oh, you know. One of those fucken- the uh..." He makes a jerking motion with his snapping hand, his eyes rolling up to the ceiling like the answer is written on the spot where some poster used to be.

"A hand?" I ask, crossing my arms and glaring down at him.

"No. One of those toys that had like water in them and you could like- I don't know what the point of them was, some sensory thing. There was like water, maybe fish or sparkles stuffed inside," he describes, gesturing his hand as he speaks.

The image begins to click together in my mind. "Oh yeah. Water snakes?" I ask. He slaps my thigh, snapping his fingers and pointing at me with wide eyes.

"That's the fucker. Yeah, you'd stick your dick in that," he says confidently, nodding and relaxing in satisfaction with his statement.

"Okay, but you can like slide those things in and out so honestly that's kind of genius," I say.

"That plastic burns like a motherfucker though. And it's got those seams for the plastic so lube doesn't help," Mike says, one arm curled above his head and his other hand once more rubbing my hip.

"That's descriptive," I say with narrowed eyes. I lean forward, my face hovering above his. His relaxed hazel eyes widen slightly, but only by a hair. His rubbing stutters. His body language is still casual, but has stiffened enough to betray him.

"Just a thought."

"How old were you?"

"I did not- fifteen."

It's my turn to snicker now, picking my pillow back up and smacking him once more in the head.

"Okay, okay. Teenagers are idiots. Next card, next card," he says laughing, hand now searching for a new card from the deck. "Oh my God. What food item would you use during sex- babe, where the fuck did you find this game?"

"It was some dirty Santa gift, got it a couple years ago," I say with the wave of my hand. "Anyways, it's my turn to ask the question."

"Oh right. Pick a new one," he says, flicking the card away.

"Well, hang on now. On the topic of poor sexual choices and food, what would you use for that?" I ask, smirking and crossing my arms across my chest once more. He glares at me, lips pressed firmly together as he narrows his eyes. There's a long silence, neither of us speaking as we decide who's going to break it.

"Donuts," he finally says.

"Donuts?"

"Yeah. They have the hole," he adds as if it explains everything.

"Uh huh."

"Okay, you used a fucking lightsaber, you cannot-"

"I was fourteen, you are twenty-eight. What happens if you squeeze the thing too hard and you've just got crumbs and frosting all over you?" I ask.

"I wouldn't fuck the damn thing. I'd, like, stack them," he clarifies. "Do it like one of those really cheesy porno bits like 'did someone order some food?' And just rip open the trenchcoat to reveal several donuts stacked on my dong."

"Michael, you've put a weird amount of thought into this."

"It's the fucking question!"

"Okayokayokay- so hypothetically," I begin.

"Mm-hmm."

"If I brought home a box of donuts-"

"Nice ones. Krispy Kreme or some shit, I'm not getting sugar in my shit if it's cheap," he insists.

"...glad to know. If I brought home a box of overpriced donuts and a trench coat-"

"Take the coat out, that was a bit."

"Will you let me finish?"

"That'd be the preferred outcome," he interrupts again. "But like, before the donut thing. If it was like, y'know." He thrusts his hips into the air slightly, not to be arousing but to clarify. Because that's the part he can't say out loud. "'Cause you can't get sugar in your snatch."

"You can't get sugar in your snatch," I repeat slowly, blinking.

"Don't ask."

"Right. So if I brought home the Kreme-y goods, you would present yourself to me with a donut dick?" I ask. He rolls his eyes, suppressing a smile.

"Sure."

Valentine's Day. A day for kids and new couples, mainly. And since this household is aging out of both of those demographics, Mike and I had decided to go smaller this year. Not that we went huge every year before, neither of us feeling quite like blowing a shit load of cash on the day. But usually we booked a reservation at a decent restaurant, put on some nicer clothes, and spent the holiday just having a nice family dinner. But Abby was old enough she was itching to attend some sleepover at a friend's house for the holiday, and Mike and I felt fine just ordering in and playing a card game that we usually thumbed through while bored.

"Do 12 year olds even get valentines?" Mike asks, sprawled upon the bed the night before.

"I don't know, I didn't," I shrug. "She's just visiting her friends and wearing pink so they can gorge on chocolate, sounds like a good holiday to me."

He considers this, scratching his jaw as he continues staring at the ceiling.

"Valentine's Day alone. What trouble we could cause," he teases.

"What food are we ordering in for the trouble, anyways?" I ask, looking up from the box of my things I'd been unpacking, hanging up pictures and placing knick knacks around the room and new desk we'd shoved in earlier that evening.

"Chinese?" He asks.

"Gas for Valentine's Day, I'll love that," I say. He laughs. "How about Italian?"

"Makes me bloated, you'll be top," he says. "What are we doing in that department? I mean, we probably should do something."

"You say that like sex is a chore," I say with a raised brow, looking up at him for a moment from the box.

"Oh, hell no," he says. "If that's a chore than it's my favorite."

"Chores typically bring you closer to God."

"Than I'm smokin' it with Jesus, fuck yeah."

At that I laugh, tossing a small box at him that rattles with something inside. He catches it, laughing and pulling it open out of curiosity.

"Oh ho! What are these?" He asks, holding up a small, hot pink cube.

"Oh Jesus, I thought I lost those. They're-"

"Sex dice!" He laughs. "You whore!"

"I'm not a whore, I just went to college!" I laugh defensively. His eyebrows raise.

"Popular?"

"Fuck off," I groan. "My ex bought those, I just kept them."

Mike rolls the dice in his hands, actually sitting up and crossing his legs on the bed before sending them flying across the quilt.

"Suck toe," Mike reads. "That's disappointing."

"We never used toe, we always just picked a different spot," I say.

"Like?" He asks.

"I don't know, it varied. I guess it was kinda a pick your poison spot," I say. "You wouldn't believe how often it lands on toe."

"The universe is trying to tell you something," he says.

"The universe can suck it," I say. Mike rolls one of the dice again.

"Tit. Nice. I'll be acting as ambassador for said universe sucking-"

"You'll be acting as helping me unpack these dresses," I say, setting the box on the bed in front of him. He stands with a sigh, hands on his hips as he awaits his work. I take out a few dresses and lay them in his arms before returning to my work of organizing the closets.

"Hold 'em," I say.

"Just hold them?"

"Yeah."

"You made me get up for this?"

"Before you find the handcuffs in there? Yeah," I say.

"Handcuffs? We've been together for three years, you're moving into my house and now I'm finding out you have handcuffs?" Mike asks incredulously.

"I didn't know that would upset you," I say honestly, shrugging.

"Upset? I've been deprived! You're a freak and haven't taken it out on me!" He says overdramatically. I roll my eyes but smile.

"I'm not a freak, I've only slept with like, two other guys. That's it," I say.

"So the guys were freaks," he says.

"I mean, I wasn't saying no," I admit.

"So you're a freak when asked?"

"You sound like a teenager."

"I sound like a guy who's gonna be home alone with his girlfriend and sex toys tomorrow, yeah, I sound like a teenager," he says.

"Oh, so we're ordering in and banging all night?" I ask, raising a brow in amusement.

"Was that not the plan already?" He asks.

"I wasn't gonna say it, but if you want to."

The night was spent laying out plans of debauchery. After dropping off Abby in the early afternoon at her friends the next day, Mike and I made a slight detour before heading home, where the items were laid out before us.

Whipped cream. Donuts. Handcuffs. Dice. And some cheap, bottom of the $5 bin collection of 'Top 100 Sexy Songs for Valentine's Day' cassette tape that Mike had grabbed from a local music store during our trip.

"Do you ever question the things we do while bored?" Mike asks, staring at the ceiling, butt naked and handcuffed to the bedframe while I straddle his thighs, trying to figure out how exactly I'm gonna do this.

"Do you?" I ask, pinching his soft tip between my fingers.

"I'm starting to," he says, glancing at the can of whipped cream that was starting to sweat on the bedside table beside us. "I had questions before I shaved my junk for this, but I wasn't gonna say anything."

"Good. Keep that philosophy, I think I figured it out," I say, finally leaning for the box of glazed donuts we'd hardly been able to act mature about buying while going through the drive through. We're not seeing the gates of heaven.

"Shouldn't you get me hard first? It's just gonna grow," he says in questioning, trying to look down at what I'm doing.

"No, because then I'll have to keep you hard and that's gonna deflate quickly," I say. He nods in agreement, satisfied and sighing in slight boredom as I begin my task, trying to get the first donut on without breaking.

"Ow! Are- are you trying to fucking fold my shit?" He asks, his voice slightly higher than it was a moment ago.

"You're bigger than the hole, it's gonna break the donut! It's soft, isn't it?" I ask.

"Not that soft!" He says a bit frantic.

"Okay, what if I stretch it out like this?" I ask, tugging his dick upwards.

"I'm gonna ask you not to!" Mike says. His thumbs find the latches for the handcuffs, undoing one so he can reach down himself. "Jesus Christ- you're gonna break me!"

"This is my job," I say amused, giggling as I cover my mouth with my hand.

He ignores me, examining himself and the donut before glaring at the corner of the room, sighing.

"Motherfucker, I've been blessed, goddammit," he groans.

"What a humble statement," I say, trying not to laugh.

"This is humbling enough. Do what you will, I guess," he says, flopping back onto the bed, donut in hand and taking a bite from it as he crosses his ankles beneath me.

"I need that," I say.

"There's eleven more, this is my consolation prize," he says through his mouthful, returning his glare to the ceiling.

"You gonna redo the handcuff?" I ask.

"I'll redo your fucken dad," he snaps, but shoves the rest of the donut in his mouth as he fiddles with the handcuffs once again, groaning as I start on my work.

It takes half an hour, four donuts and a ridiculous amount of whipped cream, but the deed is done. Stepping off the bed, I behold my work of a restrained, glaring, donut stacked and cream covered Mike with a proud smile.

"This was exponentially hotter in my head," he mutters, looking down at himself.

"You don't like it?" I ask.

"I didn't say that, I'm just not drooling over- where are you going?" He asks. I quickly dart out of the room, racing to the kitchen as a series of 'babe?' Rings throughout the house. I open the fridge quickly, find the box of cherries and race back into the bedroom, holding it up as though it were a crown jewel.

"Ohh, my fucking God," Mike loudly drawls, rolling his eyes.

"I almost forgot," I say with malicious glee.

"I wish you had," he says, staring at the ceiling. "You're sick in the head."

"This was your idea."

"I'm sick in the head, I repent, I repent."

Placing a fat cherry carefully on top of the fluffy tip, I smile in true satisfaction.

"Perfect," I say, hands working to undo my house robe, shrugging it off and leaving me in simple lingerie instead.

"Now you faceplant into my dessert dick. Delicious," he deadpans.

"Mike, if you really don't wanna do this-"

"I'm gonna get a fucking UTI, just fulfill the high school fantasy already. I'll have no shame once I'm hard," he spits out quickly, jerking against the restraints slightly in impatience.

Well, that's true enough.

I lean forward, trying to figure out where to start, deciding between bottom or top.

"Babe, this is mortifying, just do some- oh-kay," Mike groans, his hips shifting slightly as I gently suck one of his freshly shaved balls into my mouth, my tongue swirling around it as I grip his thighs. The stack shifts slightly, Mike moaning as he thrusts against nothing.

My mouth works his sack for a little bit, one of my hands trailing down to between his legs to press against the spot behind his balls, making him keen into my touch as he moans loudly, the handcuffs clicking against the frame of our bed as he squirms. When I'm sure he's hardened properly underneath, I remove my mouth, making him whine as I glance up at him, smiling.

"Doing good?" I ask sweetly, pressing my fingers harder into the spot between his legs.

"Still mortifying, just keep going," he moans shamelessly, his cheeks red as he keeps his eyes closed in embarrassment.

I lean down once more, licking at the melting whipped cream on the tip of his cock, his moans growing louder as my tongue finds contact with his cock, his skin cold and wet underneath of the cream. I'm barely able to reach his actual tip, my tongue sticking down far in the hole of the top donut. I begin biting into the food, quickly tearing away at my work in eagerness of what awaits.

There's probably a special place in Hell reserved for the two of us for doing something like this and enjoying it, but I promise you, if you could see the look on his face right now, blushing wildly and trying to hide behind the bulk of his large arm, it would be worth it.

Once the first two donuts are gone I take off the cherry from the top, dangling it over his mouth in teasing.

"Want some?" I ask. He just groans in response, his cock twitching from neglect. I chuckle, tossing the fruit away and quickly taking him into my mouth, drawing a sharp, high moan from him as I suck eagerly, admiring the taste of his skin mixed with the sweet sugar from the food.

Yeah. Definitely worth it.

Pre-cum shoots into my mouth as he rolls his hips into my face, my hand still working against him as I swirl my tongue around his tip, sucking harshly as I watch him. His back arches against the bed, his head thrown back in pleasure as he loses himself in the feeling of my mouth against him.

"Go deeper," he begs, his voice soft as he bucks into my mouth, his arms straining against the handcuffs. "Holy shit, please go deeper."

His hips buck harshly against my face, smashing the two other donuts and an annoying amount of cream into my face, covering me in a facial I didn't ask for.

I pull away from him, stopping my hand and just staying still for a moment to allow him a proper look at my face.

"... I do not like this," I deadpan. I'd blink if I could open my eyes right now.

Small whines escape him as his hips continue moving, questions being voiced then everything ceasing all at once as I guess he takes a good look at me. There's a moment of silence, then he bursts out laughing at the sight, loud and obnoxious.

"It's in your hair!" He exclaims, probably wishing he could point at me as I blindly search for the hand towel nearby.

"I hope this was worth it," I say flatly, suppressing my own giggle.

"Oh, the feeling is awful, but you're doing great," he says sweetly, still chuckling as he watches me wipe at my face, groaning at the stickiness of it all.

"Jesus, I'm a mess," he says, looking down at himself. "Can we just take that off and-"

"Yeah, normal blow job, on it," I finish for him, quickly taking off the other two, very smushed donuts and discarding of them inside the box. "You have horrible ideas "

"You wanted us to try new shit, this is not on me," he laughs, smiling at me. "But thank you for answering a decade old question."

"You're weird," I say.

"Just fuck me," he says back.

Quickly I take him back into my mouth, deepthroating him and encouraging him to fuck my mouth, focusing on my breathing as he does with blind obedience. His thighs press against the sides of my head, squeezing slightly as his tip rams into the back of my throat, all gentleness off the table. My tongue slides against his prominent vein, feeling how he throbs, his cock stiff and twitching from the stimulation. He pants loudly, whining when I press my tongue harder into his vein, a loud 'snap' echoing from near his head.

His movements cease for a moment, his chest heaving as realization crosses his face.

"... the handcuffs weren't expensive, right?" He asks inbetween gasps, holding up his hands to show the cheap cuffs now hanging uselessly around his wrists.

My eyebrows raise in surprise, my head beginning to lift off of him when one of his hands comes down on my head, suddenly gripping my hair as he begins to fuck my mouth with new vigor, tearing lewd sounds from my throat as I gag sharply around him.

"Fuck it, I'll buy another pair," he decides, slamming quickly into my throat as he pulls my hair sharply, his pre-cum beginning to thicken in my mouth. "It's not like you mind, right, sweetheart?" He asks, propping himself up with one arm to watch as I swallow his dick eagerly, one of my hands dipping down to play with my clit. He tugs sharply at my hair, making me whine as his other hand smacks quick and gentle against my hollowing cheek before pointing at me.

"No," he says sharply. "I'll deal with you after."

His hand strokes my cheek as he continues fucking my face, his thumb trained on my chin, keeping my mouth open wide for him. His eyes are glazed over in pleasure as he watches me, my spit dribbling down my chin as I take him, my legs pressed tightly together as I grab blindly at his thighs, admiring the thickness as I gag on his cock.

"Fuck- you're so pretty," he moans, his cock twitching in closeness. "And kind." I moan appreciatively around him, eager to feel his cum down my throat as I dig my nails into his thighs. "Don't know how I got so lucky."

His hand roughly drags my head up by my hair, forcing me off of his cock and making me whine as I try to take him back into my mouth. His hand wraps around his length, pumping quickly as he watches me.

"Keep your mouth open, pretty girl," he commands softly. I obey, sticking out my tongue slightly, eager to please. He smiles at the sight, his lashes fluttering shut once more as he fucks his hand quickly, using my thick spit as lube, beginning to lose rhythm.

"I'm gonna cum," he warns breathily. "I'm gonna- fuck!"

His words stutter as he gasps, his hand squeezing roughly at his cock as his cum hits my face, warm and thick against my skin. We watch each other as the first few ropes cover my face, admiring the other in a hazy cloud of desire and satisfaction. Then he shoves his cock back into my mouth, his hand pumping me up and down his length again as he finishes shooting his load down my throat, admiring my new look.

"I'm just- gonna do this for awhile," he gasps, his cock still stiff in my mouth as his flow of cum begins to slow, his hips still quick in contrast.

I moan around him, my cunt clenching in want.

"Don't worry," he says, reaching for something in the nightstand, pulling open a drawer and revealing his new gift for me. "You'll get some fun too."

When I tell y'all this motherfucker somehow found a dildo shaped like a fucking lightsaber.

Goddammit, I'm gonna marry him.

¤▪︎{♧}▪︎¤

You heard me.

Taglist:

@cassiecasluciluce @gh0u1ishly @joshhutchersons-slut @schmidtsbimbo @sugarevans @wompwompwomp57 @jhutchissupercool . Thank you for your support pookies!!! <3

•▪︎Masterlist▪︎•

how would y'all feel if I told you the title was a pun from that old 'berries and cream' meme

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wttt-dirus-work · 5 months

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So, i saw a post with NY headcanons and it reminded me that while i included my own disabled headcanons in my fics, i forgot to make my own headcanons post (?) and i've got more than i though lol

So here we go!

NY: Dude got a bad eye, someday it's normal, other days it get blurred. He also has a scar over it, and his shoulders can get funky when its humid outside.

NJ: some of y'all already knows it, but Jersey got Tourette's. Mostly shoulder jerking, neck twitching, blinking hard and grimacing. When it gets bad his back jerks, and his vocals tics get worse (mostly whistles and pop, tho if hes anxious/stressed he does repeat some words)

Delaware: he got arthritis in his hands, and can hardly move them.

Mass: He was injured during the revolution, and walking became harder for him (limping and his legs became stiffer), then another injury during the civil war made him unable to walk for some days, therefore he use a wheelchair most of the time. He is still able to walk, but it is either too painful, or he doesn't have the energy needed to be able to stand all day.

Connie: he got shaky hands, when he's tired, nervous or angry, he cant hold anything with those. Its his nerves, and it doesnt hurt but its annoying.

Vermont: he got diabetes! Type 1; and it's so fucking expensive that it's Québec his "dealer" (it cost around 98$US when here its around 12$CAN sooo). He also got a sweet tooth, and forget to watch his sugar level (Hampshire there's for it; buddy's wayy to protective to let anything happen to Vermont)

PA: he's dyslexic, and it's mostly Mass who helps him with paperwork when he's not badgering Connie.

Florida: That gremling got Adhd, big dyslexia and his first language is spanish (which doesnt help with the reading). He also got so many scars from disturbing wildlife (anyone has seen that "yoink" dude in the everglades? Yeah thats flo). He got chronic pain in his left knee, and his right wrist always cracks when he moves it.

Louie: french lover is a people pleaser, but the chillest person you'll ever meet. He never panics, and is sometime too calm; but hurt any of the southern state (or Cal) and you're done. He's the voodoo capital, so dont mess with him

Georgia: hes an insomniac, but is fucking sleepy during the day (the math aint mathing ya know). He can sleep anywhere except during the night. He's bud with york and nevada, you can find those three driking in silence during a poker game.

Virginia: (uses they/them) they have a limp on the left leg, who always in pain (low but chronic with some real bad days). They're also a sleepwalker (think Celinaspookyboo style) and Georgia (or one of the insomniac state) each switch to watch them at night.

Montana: deer in headlights when spoken to. Will not talk to anyone when he doesnt have something to say or isnt upset (that sketch with the clown thing? Yeah he talked to them cause he was angry). Dont talk to him, dont even aknowledge him and he'll be more than happy to not exist in your mind. (Hes jealous of alaskas ability to not being seen)

Cal: dudes his always in pain. The fire, the drought, to goldrushes, hes always hurting. He got big scars from the fires, and his skin is the dryest thing ever despite all the moisturizer he uses. When he's burning up his eyes gets cloudy grey; they itch and cry all the time, and he cant see shit. He also need an oxygen mask when its too bad, and his eyes are naturaly gold.

Washington: hes a bitch. Dude got poor circulation too, so his hands and feet are always cold. When it's raining for too long his hair is oily, and when it's a drought it's the driest (he uses dryshampoo and got a routine to fight it).

Oregon : hes gay. Thats a known thing, and he's the bridge between Cal and Wash. Hes nicer to cal than wash, but he's not kind. The west coast are nice in interraction, but they ain't your friends.

Nevada: ah, vada. He got scaring from the nuclear testing, can see in the dark like nobody, and is the only state who can chose to change their physical appearance. Has coloured hair (pink or purple mostly) and the greenest eyes you'll ever see (or purple, didnt made my mind yet). Hes careful with his diet and always exercice despite the painful joins.

Texas: that idiot got sleep apnea but refuses to get checked out for it (and get a CPAP). He also has asthma (geez that word is hard to write) and colorblindness (can't see red). He only wears his shirt cause he knows what the colours are and refused to be pranked about that.

If you wanna adds your own, your welcome to do so! ^^

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allay-j11no · 11 days

Text

𝓗𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓬𝓪𝓷𝓷𝓸𝓷𝓼

Headcannon's about Soap, Ghost, Price, Rory, and Gaz in my AU!!

-------------------------------

PRICE ------------------------------- - Father figure of the group obviously - Actually considered adopting Rory and Gaz (Mainly Rory) - If needed, he does have some adoption documents on hand - He had Laswell pull files outta nowhere and just chose mainly misfits - Laswell recommended most of 141's members - Enjoys Gaz and Rory's familial bickering to an extent (ex: playful arguing/bickering like siblings) - Reminds him that they aren't just war machines, they're human too. ------------------------------- SOAP ------------------------------- - Youngest of 141 - (In this AU, Ghost never died in the original MW games, only the main team (RIP roach) so the older members are Price, Gaz, Rory, and Ghost,) Roach was like a child to Rory and Ghost so once Soap filled his spot, naturally he would fill that role too. - Pranks Price - When the queen died he DID play "SCOTTLAND FOREVERRRRRRR!" and wear a kilt - He had a rigorous training drill after that - Makes horrendous dad jokes with Ghost - Accidentally called Rory "Mum" once ------------------------------- GAZ ------------------------------- - Rory's eldest and only cousin - Was Rory's Man of Honor once she and Ghost finally got married - Picks on her constantly to remind her that he loves her - The kinda guy to feel bad about something and stand there like🧍 - He's a teachers pet to price but once the Captain aint lookin, hes a complete bitch, specially to newbies. - Steals Rory's blankets for fun - "She ain't gon find this in a while" *witch cackling* ------------------------------- GHOST ------------------------------- - Was sad when him and Rory were split for a few years - He def asked Price who the surprise someone was when Rory was first joining - Lots of paperwork after he married - He really wants kids with Rory, but they never get the chance to do it or do they have the time to raise 'em - Gets updates about his father (WHO IS STILL ALIVE AND BREATHING IN PRISON PLS GOD KILL THIS OLD MAN) - Made sure Rory has a mask matching his ------------------------------- RORY ------------------------------- - Terrorizes Gaz when he's being a twat - Lots of paperwork after shes married too - When working with Graves, she has almost bashed his skull in numerous times - Cant wait for her and Ghost's retirement, both of em are gonna have plenty of kids to make a new 141 unit just of em (lies she only wants two) - Get's the rare once a year updates on her own father - Call's Price, "Dad" sometimes - Rarely makes breakfast for all of them -------------------------------

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ray-the-fanatic · 6 months

Note

I like how your askthing still says ‘let’s talk ducks’ lmao

Anyway

Tmnt ask: 1,5,17,19,24

And for once I didn’t chose at random xD

| turtle asks

That cause I generally just love ducks they are cute uwu I bought six more rudder ducks my room is more ducks than anything uwu

How did you get into tmnt? From the 90's movies, my mom loved the 90's movie and we watched it often. I have early memories of my older sister and I play out along with Mikey and Donnie when they are dancing to the tequila song. It was often a movie we always would rent when getting movies from Blockbuster too along with Sailor Moon XD. We have some of the 87 series on VHS as well but I always wanted more then I wanna saw the two episodes recorded? so when 4kids started airing commercials for the 03 show? of course I wanted to watch it! And well thats when I got really hooked 03 always gonna be my favorite because of that.

5. If you were a ninja turtle, what color would your mask be?

sadly raph stole my favorite color bitch, so uhhh i dunno lets go with pink??

17. Answered in this ask basically pepperoni XD

19. Give ONE character a gun.

I wanna give it to Leo XD like he already has a dangerous weapon but just take a gun Leo no peace option end it all. If not Leo? than Mikey uwu

24. Roast your favorite character (affectionate)

Raphael: stinky bastard man, throw him into a bath for a week, Or ship him off to sea. Man needs a serious time out, needs a good long think for all his damn crimes. For someone who likes to act like the strong silent type boy sure is always ready to so damn rude and open his beak when he don't need to. He will give you his thought rather you want them or not and mostly because he knows you don't want them. Thinks hes mister tough guy but runs at the sight of a fly and becomes mush often for cute animals. He aint scary he just like a little dog that loves to bark and pick fights.

#ray rambles #ask games #turtle asks

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thestarseersystem · 11 months

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Systems, you can do whatever you want, forever. I don't care anymore. And if I care later, that's someone else who pilots this meat body.

Syscourse is stupid. I may scroll through the tag of my own curiosity and outrage, but getting mad over how another system does or doesn't operate is stupid.

I do the following:

Roleplay and make picrews and do silly videos with my alters and dress up

Romanticize my symptoms as a coping mechanism because that's all I got

Edit my shit and constantly fight in my head, because who's actually right here

Take shit personally. Hey what the fuck you looking at??

Thinking about committing and constantly threatening violence. Because evil alters are poggers actually

Half of the system is hypersexual. Including the littles. I've been hypersexual since I was bodily 5 years old. Whatcha gonna do, give me therapy about it? I need it.

Have a lot of problematic behaviors. So what. Who doesn't. You aint pure, bitch

Using names that I wasn't born with. Because apparently people get mad about that. I'm not elaborating. Y'all just wanna trigger ppl with OCD all day, huh.

Etc etc etc.

I'm unpalatable. DID, OSDD and other dissociative disorders aren't pretty or happy or easy to deal with. It's dark and dirty and grungy and sucky and I become an asshole sometimes.

Stop expecting systems to be perfect or having perfect labels and perfect names or perfect existences. We had to do whatever we could to survive, and that means doing morally questionable shit. That means taking up space. That means stop judging people when they do something you don't like. Because they probably are not in recovery or in therapy or getting the right treatment or wanting to get treatment or needing everything you needed.

Systems have no set way to be. Yes, I'm mainly anti-endo and do think all systems come from trauma, but do you know what I'm not gonna do? Go and harass people about it. I block people, constantly. I constantly question if I should block people on my side of things because of their stupid fucking opinions. I stay in my fucking lane and try to mind my own business.

But sometimes I'm a nosy bitch, sometimes I'm curious about what's going on. Because there's no positive or neutral system content most of the time. But there's always some crazy drama going on. And that's what I assume some of y'all are doing when looking at this post.

So, just take a step back and ask yourself, are you willing to die on this hill and keep shitting on other fucking randos on the internet, for shit you have no right to question, or are you going to log off and touch some fucking grass? Because honestly, I don't care anymore, and you shouldn't either.

Live authentically, even if that means being a little punk ass bitch or mauling a stranger.

I'm done with keeping up appearances and masking in this community. I don't need a crumb of validation or acceptance, I'm just throwing this out there to anyone in the trenches. Don't give a shit for a moment. Eat some grass instead of being online.

#post.txt #discourse.txt #syscourse #system anarchy #syscourse unaligned #i know i am anti-endo but this post sits firmly into anyone can interact as long as i didn't block you #the system may get angry at me for posting this but nothing in life matters #be as fucking weird as you want #systemhood isn't pretty but mine sure is

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wierdaesthetic · 6 months

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Stop hating on cod simps

Wait, because this thing has been sitingon my mind for the past couple of days. Why the fuck do men hate on women for simping for Ghost and Konig and stuff like that. I see them in tiktok comments like bruh cod simps ruined them for me and I just wanted to play them like normal. Like bitch,first of all you a grown ass man and a tiktok changed your mind about "the boys" game, come on who is buying that. Second of all, just because men's sexualisation of women on games is normalised that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Yall sit here and complain about Ghost and Konig being Gen Z sex simbols when back in your age when Lara Croft finally got trianglular tits yall would beat your meat to that everyday for weeks. Dont even get me started on Mortal Kombat, which is one of my favourite games but oh my just type mortal kombat female character. At least we as women like some gear/protection on our fighter, you bitches said Fuck it, lets give her realisticly 0% chance of living because she is practlicly wearing a bikini BUT we aint stopping lets take that to minus where SHE HAS TO WEAR HEELS!! WHY? Cause it sexy, duh! Mortal Kombat isnt suppose to be realistic yeah nor Call of duty CAUSE THEY ARE GAMES!! LET PEOPLE FUCKING LIVE AND WANNA FUCK THEIR MONITORS!! ITS THEIR OWN PROBLEM!! Yall have been fucking waifu pillows and getting of to bayonneta and shit, so now that women found someone to simp over now sexualisation of game characters is weird? Also your itsy bitsy Ghost opperator isn't getting offended or humilated from such coments, you know why? Cause he is pixels on a fucking scene! He doesn't have emotions... also he hasn't been throught the shit that you say, you want to know why again? CAUSE HE IS NOT A REAL PERSON. But oh yeah, men they are complitly normal for spamming their horniness under Kylie Jenners or Zoe Kravitz posts, yeah thats totally normal, for say "I would pound her so hard he scoliosis would fix" or "I fuck her so hard we would demolish from existance" YEAH THAT TOTALLY NORMAL. But 2 teen girls say he is so fine or hear me out under a post? NONO THATS WEIRD AND UNCOMFY. I just think that your toxic masculinity is getting over your head cause you know that if you come across and actually attractive woman that has a Ghost or Konig type, you would never ever be able to bag her since you could never reach the type of atractiveness they exude EVEN WITHOUT SHOWING THEIR FACE? On that topic I have seen a lot of girls being asked why do they like masks on me. Bitch, lets rewing you remember mortal kombat? Do you remember what do ALL females have in common in there? MASKS? Have you ever asked a man why did they do that? To interperte the face of them how every they imagined but cod men yeah no war criminals dont yassify them. That all enough. I am tired. Fuck off (to anyone that disagrees) and Good night.

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quietmtntown · 1 year

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Ok! But stop think about how Stans selfish nature towards Wendy is IC think about how he treats his friends.

Kyle lets start with Kyle : Now yes he has done a lot of good shit for him.. BUT he also left him to get beaten up in metrosexuals to protect his image. He kicked him out of gutair hero so he could get the high score. Led him on a wild goose chase about who took a dumb in the urinal because he didn't want anyone to know.

That's three time he put his Image first before his super best friend

while being bullied in aspen it got to his head that he had to win against the asshole college kid to.. get heather...

in two men in a hot tub he makes a whole speech about how its wrong to treat butters/pip/dougie like losers only to backtrack when kyle arriives and complain about hanging out with melvins.

Now Butters we got a whole ass ep of how he started with good intentions I think to help him with his bullying problem but it just ended up spiraling out of control. Stan let the attention get to his head from all the cute girls..

I haven't seen the episode but i think a similar thing happened in stand my ground when he was putting his image first above dare i say tegridity

Stan was using Butters being upset about build a bear as a way to mask his own desire to get out and be a kid again. Something he even admits at the end of the episode.

Stan off screen dumps wendy so he can go.. drown in bitches..

So Stan not texting Wendy

And the ending he crafted for himself that involved maintaining his image is perfectly align with his character ..

cartman aint the only selfish piece of crap at that school.

#south park #stan marsh #heck i relate to stan in caring about how i appear to others

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ryuseibutgayer · 1 year

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𝓣𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓘𝓼 𝓨𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓢𝓲𝓰𝓷,, 𝓣𝓸 𝓖𝓸 𝓣𝓸 𝓑𝓮𝓭 - 𝓟𝓽. 2

𝓞𝓿𝓮𝓻𝓪𝓵𝓵: 𝓙𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓱𝓸𝔀 𝓜𝓲𝓽𝓼𝓾𝔂𝓪, 𝓟𝓮𝓱 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓟𝓪𝓱 𝓼𝓵𝓮𝓮𝓹. 𝓐𝓷𝓭 𝓸𝓯 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓼𝓮, 𝓘 𝓶𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓬𝓾𝓻𝓼𝓮 - 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓬𝓾𝓻𝓼𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓸𝓲𝓵𝓮𝓽 𝓫𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓭 𝓹𝓸𝓽𝓽𝔂 𝓶𝓸𝓾𝓽𝓱

𝓜𝓲𝓽𝓼𝓾𝔂𝓪 𝓣𝓪𝓴𝓪𝓼𝓱𝓲

● You simp (*σ��ｪ｀)σ❤️

● Buddy with those two kids running around, you'd think he goes to bed early to rest up, but ohohohohohohoe.

● He needs to stay up all fuckin night to make sure they don't wet their beds 😭

● Of course he obviously does not have bags under his eyes in the manga nor anime, he still gets adequate sleep- it's just all over the place, and he may be just about 15 minutes late for his first period class every now and then

● So he *tried* to use horror movies to keep himself up, but he ended up scaring Mana, who wandered into the living room at one in the morning, with that technique. So now, he's sitting in the pitch dark living room of his apartment while his mom runs an early morning/late night shift, brainlessly eating popcorn as he does his homework (to catch up on his first hour, which he may miss some things in due to possibly falling asleep from now and then in that class) with fucking Sanrio shows playing on the TV in front of him. Bright ass pastels on a retro awful looking ass TV screen filter with the volume at like 12

● Yall think he's the sane one of TR, h a h

● When he actually manages to get some sleep, he gives zero fucks less about how he is, how gar off the bed he is, how much he needs to pee, the temperature, 3am munchies, that assignment sitting on the corner of his desk, NAH. All of it goes straight to hell when he hits the lights, slips off his shirt, and dives straight under the covers.

● On most days he'll just flop onto the bed and roll over to the other side like once, only once in the middle of the night

● Please he's so tired, stop the bullshit and raise awareness of Mommitsuya Appreciation Week (ToT)

● Dead tired, you can see the pure effort and exhaustion in his tired silver lashes as he just snoozes away

● Snores, but honestly it's tolerable

● Just let the boy sleep (TvT)

● MANA QUIT THROWING THE TEDDY BEAR MITSUYA MADE FOR YOU AT YOUR DAMN SISTER

● ..Luna put the toilet plunger away- GODFUCKING DAMNIT THIS IS A HATE CRIME-

● Just avoid remembering Mitsuya's existence at 3am for yours and his best

𝓗𝓪𝓻𝓾𝓴𝓲 (𝓟𝓪𝓱-𝓒𝓱𝓲𝓷) 𝓗𝓪𝔂𝓪𝓼𝓱𝓲𝓭𝓪

● Bear-Man

● He just lifts himself up to sit in the corner of his bed, collapses under the giant heavy ass comforters, and snores like a meme

● He feels like he's on fire while he's asleep, so he'll stick out a foot from under the blankets

● 𝓟𝓪𝓱-𝓒𝓱𝓲𝓷 𝓪𝓼 𝓣𝓸𝓴𝔂𝓸 𝓡𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓷𝓰𝓮𝓻'𝓼 𝓶𝓸𝓼𝓽 𝓾𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓻𝓻𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓹𝓼𝔂𝓬𝓱𝓸𝓹𝓪𝓽𝓱?

● (I said that forgetting about the beginning of the anime lmao)

● Sleep talks but no one can hear it and it wouldn't make sense anyways

● He's really not afraid of anything grabbing him cause he's like "Well then let's see the bastard drag me away"

● I feel liiiike he's got a weighted blanket, 3 pillows, and a sleeping mask lmao

● He really seems like the guy to have an intense facial care routine before bed and bitch about not getting beauty sleep.

● Who's gonna break it to him-

● From 9 to 11. He sleeps. 14 hours.

● AND IF HIS WHITE NOISE MACHINE AINT PLAYIN RAIN HE AINT GOIN TO BED HES GONNA CREATE ANARCHY (oh please)

● He's always burning up in his sleep, but refuses to do anything about it.

● He sweats gallons, but is so dry- it doesn't make any sense- 😟

● He's pretty hard to wake up, but if the lights change at all in the room he's sleeping? Immediately up and Karen pterodactyl screaming

● Window is always cracked about 2 centimeters. It's broken.

● You can just like feel his body vibrate each time he snores lmao

● Very great cuddly buddy tho :> (Just raise your feet up so they aren't scratched by them toe nails-)

𝓡𝔂𝓸𝓱𝓮𝓲 (𝓟𝓮𝓱-𝓨𝓪𝓷) 𝓗𝓪𝔂𝓪𝓼𝓱𝓲

● I truly don't know what it is with this stick bug lookin crooked neck motherfucker and attracting bugs in his sleep

● AND HE TWISTS HIMSELF LIKE A BRICK HEADED PRETZEL TOO

● OK so get this, he's barely on the corner of the pillow with a foot off the bed, another propped up onto the wall, a hand by his side and the other off the bed

● And there's fucking flies buzzing around his face as ants just raid the crumb filled sheets

● a c k

● Maybe it's the whistle breathing sounds from his nose???

● I don't know

● Everyone in his house wants to suplex twirl, slam, then smother a pillow into Peh-Yan's face while he's asleep, it's disgusting

● He's so freezing cold oml

● Always has his window open. It's snowing. It's raining. It's sleeting. It's a tornado. It's a wildfire summer. WINDOW. 👏 OPEN. 👏

● Very cuddly tho, so that's,,, idk

● 1/10 recommend but not 0 at least

● You know he goes to bed at 11 and wakes up at 6. He's just. Weird.

● He eats a box of taco bell before bed routinely

● Raids the kitchen for milk in his sleep

#mitsuya takashi #mitsuya tokyo revengers #pah chin #peh yan #tokyo revengers #headcanons #fandom #tokyo revengers headcanons

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iman2 · 5 months

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solja?

the 'badbitch' is the one with the tattoo. she's attacking you too. all of them hoes have tatts. i don't care. wait. is it diamond? yeah. your sister's wearing a mask, i didn't buy that bitch. you're de'andre? yeah. get rid of those panties now. wear a completely new pair. untouched. i have that. now this one is from actual solja. he's going to eat the emcee with the dreads and that is the problem. so? onigga and 'em is stealing your money and your strategies. m3g's the one with your flow and that cuban? hell. they gon say it's card1 and offs3t but it's them. she got some shit you wrote on that album. marlon's the better emcee. he not. he's lil soulja, you know that. he guilty? yeah but he ain't know he is. he know she is, only recently though. get a new fucking pair. i'm going to take a shower. nah. stain it. that thing with the ring. those girls know about it. that last hoe? hell. thx. papa's my son and it's fuck young money. if wayne aint duck, that's on him. he can hang out with that hoe if he wanna.

#and the camo clan?

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yourlocaltrashpandaxoxo · 1 year

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Bad Blood (TW: Mentions of Manipulation, Abuse and Neglect)

*SLAM!* *BASH!* *CRUNCH* “AAAAAAUGH!” The screams and crashes echoed throughout the locker room halls as a group of people were tossed and slammed around like ragdolls. Their attacker? None other then the she-beast that was Creep Queen, or Jasmine as she was better known by. The group had foolishly decided that her little brother, Grimm, was the perfect target to bully. They regretted it the minute they saw her bulky frame thundering down the corridor to confront them. They cowered before her now as she stood over them with a menacing glare in her wine red eyes. “Beat it ya fuckin’ wimps!” she growled. They looked at each other in panic. They wanted to run but they felt their limbs stuck in place with fear. “Go on! SCRAM!” she roared, thumping the wall with her fist for emphasis. The group of bullies scrambled to their feet, almost tripping over each other in the process, and fled. Jasmine couldn’t help but cackle at the sight. She looked down at her little brother. “There ya go, all taken care of brutha” she boasted “Ain’t ya got the best big sista on Earth?” she laughed. Grimm looked at her with a pained expression. “Yea... Thanks sis...” he sighed. Jasmine immediately stopped laughing. She crouched down to his height. a rare look of concern on her face. “What’s the matter, huh? What’d they say to ya?” she asked. “It’s nothing... They’re just being idiots” he replied. “Come on, Ash, they’ve obviously said somethin’ to make ya so sad” she said “Go on, tell me” she knelt beside him and awaited his answer. “They.... told me I didn’t look old enough to be in the Special Circuit” was Grimm’s somber reply. Jasmine couldn’t stop a smirk escaping her lips. “Is dat it!? C’mon, ya gotta be kiddin’ me!” she giggled. “That’s not why I’m upset!” Grimm shouted, looking quite hurt at his sister’s laughter. “Ok ok, sorry” Jasmine said “What else did they say?”. “They told me to.... Go back home to my mommy” he whispered. Jasmine’s face scrunched up into a frown. She stood up and slugged the wall in anger, fury written all over her. “Fuckin’ assholes...” she growled. Grimm watched her and sighed again. “Jas... Why doesn’t Mom like me?” he asked, sadly. Jasmine felt a twinge of sorrow strike her in the chest. “I.... I don’t know why...” she said. She started to stalk off, gesturing for Grimm to follow on. He scrambled after him, trying to keep up with her brisk pace. He stared down at the floor miserably. “Chin up, kiddo, not the end of the world...” Jasmine said, patting him gently on the back. “I guess” Grimm replied, stiffly. He suddenly bumped into someone else. He looked up. His eyes met with a familiar masked woman. Mane Event. “Hey! Watch it you-” she hissed before noticing who exactly had dared to crash into her. “Sorry Becky...” Grimm apologised. Becky chuckled. “Well if it isn’t little Grimm Reaper! How’s it going, squirt!?” she smiled, ruffling Grimm’s hair. “Leave off him, Becs, he ain’t havin’ a good day” Jasmine ordered. “Alright then, your highness” Becky joked. She gave Jasmine a fake punch to the shoulder. “Ay, fuck off ya bitch!” Jasmine laughed, throwing one back. Grimm giggled at the sight of these two intimidating women having a childish playfight. “So, what’s the matter with you then squirt?” Becky asked Grimm. “I’ll tell ya in a sec” Jasmine said. She turned to her little brother. “Mind going somewhere else for a sec? Just wanna talk with Becky” she asked. Grimm nodded and wandered off. Maybe he could find some people to scare... That would make today a little less shitty. “What’s happened then? Never seen him so grumpy and sad” Becky asked as the two women sat down on a nearby bench. “Bullies” Jasmine said “Some assholes makin’ fun of him for lookin’ so young” “Seriously!? That’s IT!?” Becky exclaimed. “Nah, it aint. I thought it was too but it’s more then dat” Jasmine grumbled. “What then?” Becky asked, getting a bit impatient. “God, hold on a sec will ya!?” Jasmine bellowed “If ya really wanna know, they fuckin’ told him to go home to our mother. OUR MOTHER. The fuckin’ evil bitch that screwed both our lives up before it even began!” she flung herself back in her seat, her breathing fast and animal-like. “Well, fuck... I didn’t know that” Becky responded, a little shocked at her friend’s sudden outburst. “I know you didn’t... I’m sorry it’s just...” Jasmine breathed in and sighed “Mom never gave a shit about Ash since he was born. Little guy coulda crawled into the house with a broken leg and she wouldn’t have cared.” “All she was focused on was me cause I started gettin’ taller ‘n stronger. She fucked my head up real good an’ I was always beatin’ up some guy cause she didn’t like the look of them. Never even bothered to say thanks. Jus’ kept on saying to me ‘That’s what I expect from my daughter’.” “And, god fuckin’ damnit, lookin’ back on it now makes me fuckin’ sick... Can’t believe I put up with her bullshit for so long without noticin’. An’ poor Grimm, he never got a good word from her! She’d just bash him all the damn time and keep on comparin’ everythin’ he did to what I did. Don’t even get me started on the damn slappin’ and kickin’...” “An’ I guess that’s kinda why I am how I am now. Just a big ol’ scary monster who wants to crush everythin’ in her way...” she hung her head low and felt tears pricking up in her eyes. “Jeez, sorry...” she furiously wiped her eyes. “Nah, don’t be. What a fucking bitch...” Becky hissed. “Tell me about it...” Jasmine agreed, leaning back and sighing. Man it felt good to get that off her chest. “So how’ve you been doing then? Ya know... Since that... Incident” she asked Becky. The masked woman made a frightening face. “Heh, fair enough” Jasmine grinned “Any excitin’ matches comin’ up?”. “Well, besides ours next week, not really” Becky replied “You’re going down bitch” she added in a rather cocky tone. “In ya dreams, Masky” Jasmine snarled. “I’ll prove you wrong, Freak” Becky fired back. The two glared at each other. “BAHAHAHAHAHA!” they both burst into peals of laughter, punching the walls and slapping their thighs. “What’s so funny?” asked a little voice. Grimm was back with Button Masher standing beside him, playing on a Switch Lite. “Ahh, nothin’ much lil bro” Jasmine said, getting up from her seat. She looked over at Button. “Whatcha playin’, Mashie?” she asked. He flashed her his screen, showing a quick glimpse of Pokemon Scarlet, before resuming to his game. “Fair. C’mon then, Ash, let’s grab somethin’ to eat” Jasmine said, hoisting her brother onto her shoulder. She gave Mane Event a fist bump and left. “Love ya, little bro” she said, smiling at Grimm. “Love you too, big sis” he replied. (Mane Event belongs to @sukipershipper)

#punch out #punch out oc #oc stories #mane event #creep queen #grimm reaper #(THE SIBLINGS!!!)#(Also angsty backstory reveal :0)

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belowzro · 2 years

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❛ w’dup w’dup ! aigh’ so ignore me being late ‘den a bitch. i aint type up any plots but i have an idea of what i’m looking for when it comes to connections. i dropped some vital facts about ya’ favorite hood jeweler under the cut so check that out. 𝐉𝐀𝐇𝐙𝐈𝐀𝐇 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑 is a twenty-six year old jeweler w/ an ice box talent claim, born and raised in duval county. on the real that’s all i got for yall right now, but if you see a potential connect’ you wanna grab just hit me or like this post and i’ll come slide. i’m cool wit’ taking something off ya hands too, or cooking shit up off the dome.

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 ━━ confidant, ex-girlfriend, fling(s), best-friend(s) 1/2 filled, business partners, loyal clientele, childhood homie

𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄 ━━ jah

𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐎𝐖𝐍 ━━ jacksonville, fl

𝐃𝐎𝐁 ━━ october 10th, 1996 / ( 26y )

𝐙𝐎𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐂 𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐍 ━━ libra.

𝐎𝐂𝐂𝐔𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 ━━ jeweler + scammer

𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐒 ━━ affectionate, sympathetic, argumentative, stubborn, honest, charming, creative, expressive, reliable, hypocritical, ambitious, and determined.

𝐉𝐀𝐇 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄𝐒 ━━ jewelry, music, jamaican cuisine, smoothies, marijuana, basketball, shopping, creating new fashion trends, streetwear trends, hustling, dice games, spades, gambling, fast cars, smoking, snacking, hood classics, 90s-00s movies and sitcoms.

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐓𝐘𝐏𝐄 ━━ INTJ + chaotic neutral.

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐋𝐒 ━━ meech ( bmf series ) q ( moesha )

𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐓𝐕 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐋𝐒 ━━ keilan ( sweet life: la series ) kofi ( sweet life: la series )

𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒 ━━ watches, chains, rings, matching sweatsuits, different loc styles, dark sunglasses, urban streetwear, unique streetwear, dior sauvage, gaudy jewelry, sneakers, grey nike shorts, slides w/ white socks, fresh white pro-clubs, fitted caps, new white forces, white muscle shirts, solid color jean jackets, ski mask, air pods always in, only smokes woods or fronto leafs, always smoking before, after, or during events.

#ཪ ¹ ˛ ˚ 𝐉𝐀𝐇 ⌯ INTRO. ⧽ made a brick through a brick.

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cryptidofthekeys · 2 years

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Team Hell No graduating from Anger Management gfkdjgfdls cute

Dr. Marion Shelby ...i didnt know he legit had a full name hgjkfljgfdls new doctor lore oooh

...okay listen I KNOW its supposed to be one of them graduate dresses but fucking hell, Kane n Daniel look kiiiiinda cult-ish rn and the fire background does NOT help matters hjkghlfjfkgdls;

i can imagine THN running something like the MoD but it’d be less scary evil and more so just a nuisance jkgflkfgld mostly bc Kane n Daniel couldnt fucking agree on shit as leaders and I KNOW they couldnt, it’s be insufferable to even be in a faction but i imagine despite being EXTREMELY dysfunctional... Somehow if they had something like the MoD it would still be destructive and a dominant force ngl, they’d find a way

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Dr. Shelby: “Kane, when we first started, you were a maniacal mask wearing monster who preferred hurting over hugging” ...hes fucking smiling at that bc he knows damn well he STILL prefers hurting over hugging- only one he wont necessarily hurt now is Daniel p much-

SOMEONE IN THE FUCKING CROWD SAYING ‘SET HIM ON FIRE’ BKGJFLKJGFD N O!!! HE WOULD N E VE R DO THAT TO DR. SHELBY ... well, in the Team Hell No era anyway- uhh but now listen, if Dr. Shelby was around when Unmasked Kane was kickin ....there’d be problems ...and y’all holy shit now im thinking about Dr. Shelby being around then-

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Shelbs: “Daniel, when we first started, you were a tightly wound little man child” GOD D A M N- you fuckin killed him dude hjgkfljgfd c h i l l ...but also he do uh kinda be deservin that for some of the shit he did ngl- “And you would snap at anyone who said anything about your goat face, or about the fact that your beard looks like a hotel for rats” ...Dr. Shelby can be fucking savage sometimes j f c- like stop man you ALREADY killed him in the first half

Kane just looking also kinda offended like okay man,, dont talk about him that way- only I can do that,, him whispering in Daniel’s ear and getting him to calm down was sweet tho

“But look at you now, calm, peaceful, and ready to graduate”

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vjkgfdl god dammit now their arguing over who should be the valedictorian- they want to pick each other SO badly but its better than the other fights,, “I’m pretty sure Kane would like to talk about his feelings” ...I can imagine bc the first time he came around to the anger management it was just ok *traumadumps* ... lmao he gon traumadump again like since Daniel said so JGKHLFKHJGFKLD-

“Daniel has never had a problem shutting his mouth in the past, why stop now?” ... o h- oh no,, come on now- p l E A SE JUST,, GET ALONG- YOU’VE BEEN DOING SO GOOD DAMMIT-

Dr. Shelby: What if everyone everywhere hugged at the same time?

Daniel, suddenly hopeful ...and probs only for mischievous reasons: Everyone...?!

lmao jokes on them bitch,, i aint got nobody to hug, i am alone- ...I can virtual hug but thats not the same

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Kane and Daniel trying to get e v e r y o n e to hug jkfdlfkgjd they really do be wantin everyone to hug tho

#Chase watches old wrestlin #im hella thinking about Shelbs in the Unmasked Kane timeline tho

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theagents23 · 10 days

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The Agents 2

Scarface: The Rise Of Fat Black

1986

Cesar: Nah son, I'm tellin you. That's one of Big's dudes.

Baptiste: I don't give a fuck, I'm tryna get this money. Now there's four of us and one of him, he's old and I heard he don't fight no more cause he fucked his knee up back in the day. We take out his legs and we got all the time in the world to run through that nigga's crib.

Cesar: Yo you're not listening, and you only got three people, I'm out.

Baptiste: That's cause you been fuckin round with Mia, that pussy got you actin pussy.

Cesar: No you dumbass mothafucker. That WHOLE crew, has every member callin themselves "Big" so nobody aside from them actually know who the real big is. That old dude could be the real one. You tryna be a stickup kid, you gon get shot before you even make a name for yourself.

Baptiste: If mothafuckers don't say shit, don't nobody know shit.

Cesar: I don't know shit. I know I'm leavin, you a fool and you two some hos.

*incoherent shit talkin sounds from the back.*

Baptiste: Pay no mind to the bitch in the front seat, she was just leavin.

*Cesar opens the door, gets out, and begins walking away.*

Baptiste: AYO! TELL MIA I SAID WUSSUP. I KNOW SHE MISS HOW I USED TO HIT!

*Cesar turns but continues walking backwards slowly.*

Cesar: YOU AINT HITTIN IT NOW NIGGA, THAT'S WUSSUP.

*As the young man walks out of sight the leader of the crew in the car drives a few blocks down and parks at the vantage point to watch the entrance of the old sensei's home. When night falls the trio stalk their way toward the back of the house, guns cocked and ready, their footsteps masked by the breeze and chirping crickets. Intent on not leaving empty handed, gunshots pierce the silence of the neighborhood after coming face to face with a pair of teenage boys and their girlfriends who all draw weapons. The scene quickly turns to a bloodbath as the man known as Fat Black splatters the upper portions of Baptiste's accomplices on the wall, floor, and ceiling with a sawed off shotgun from close range. Taking a portion of one of the blasts, the would be victimizer stumbles backwards against the wall in the kitchen bleeding a trail from where he touches to where he falls. Fat Black walks over, kicks the gun Baptiste had dropped out of his reach, and picks up a hammer and a small flat-head screwdriver out of a toolbox next to the sink.*

Baptiste: Yo I'm sorry man, come on

Fat Black: OH, YOU'RE SORRY? I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE SORRY. I'M SORRY TOO. YOU'RE SORRY, I'M SORRY, WE'RE ALL SORRY. EVERYBODY'S SORRY.

*Fat black sits on the floor against the wall next to where Baptiste was bleeding out slowly.*

Fat Black: My boy don't get to be sorry. My nephew over there didn't even know he could be sorry. They were kids and you were more concerned with money.

*Baptiste begins sobbing uncontrolably*

Baptiste: Please man, I don't wanna die.

Fat Black: And I didn't wanna kill you. Before you and your stupid ass friends busted in here and fucked ALL MY shit up, I didn't even know you. But you can't live now...I mean...you've killed people in my family. Who the fuck told you that's how shit works?

Baptiste: Yo, nobody has to know shit. I'll just go. I won't say nothin.

*Baptiste struggles to get to his feet prompting Fat Black to stand up and shove him back to the ground with his boot.*

Fat Black: You're not going anywhere.

*After tying him to one of the kitchen chairs and securing his extremities down to the digit out in front of him, Slim Wallace went to work. High pitched screams almost as loud as the preceding gunshots reverberated off the walls of the two family home as the small screwdriver was driven deeper and deeper under Baptiste's fingernails with each tap of the hammer. He stabbed him in the eye with a steak knife, drove several screws into each of his knees, scalped him with a pie cutter he heated up on the stove, chopped off the upper portion of his ear with a pair of rusty shears, and upon finishing with every finger except the pinky on each hand, he undid some of the restraints while consoling his torture victim.*

Fat Black: It's ok, it's ok, you're ok now. You're gonna be ok.

*Slim pulls a meat cleaver from a drawer and chops both of Baptiste's hands completely off before pouring whiskey on the stubs. Amidst the blood curdling screams emitted from the young man's mouth Fat Black manages a small snicker and a few words under an exhaughsted sigh.*

Fat Black: I really didn't want to have to do this anymore.

*A final blast from his sawed off puts an end to the commotion and the night air of the neighborhood refusing to call the police out of fear, was once again only filled with the sound of crickets.

Missouri was exactly as it sounds in the coming years for Slim, his brother and sister unable to cope with their loss and Slim's part in it, they shunned him and in doing so made his involvement obvious to the rest of their family from the group home they were raised in.

For three years Slim continued making his money by working under the shadow kingpin known as "Big" until the day came when his ambition exceeded his capabilities as a subordinate. After assembling a crew of naive young men and women loyal to him, Fat Black set out to rob and replace the man at the top. As had happened before, the head of the narcotics organization's home was raided and siezed by Slim and his soldiers. Leaving a bloody and grim scene in their wake they made way for their leader before entering the room "Big" was believed to be in. Upon entering, Slim realized the room was empty except for furniture, a desk with a small amount of coke and some lines laid out, and a television sat on a black metal roll-around stand with a camcorder poited at him next to it.*

Fat Black: Leave the room.

Joe: You sure? This could be a trap, it looks like one.

Fat Black: I'm sure.

*When he turns on the television, the grey haired weathered face of the man he'd only met once before was staring back at him while smoking a cigar. When he spoke, his stern and disappointed expression did not lose it's lustre.*

Tony: I expected better from you.

Fat Black: If you were expecting anything your men wouldn't be dead.

Tony: They're not my men, they were yours. This isn't a fuckin cartel, it's a business. You think I got money? Go check the safe, it's behind you behind that stack of books.

*Slim walks over to the book case and moves the only books on it stacked horizontally to reveal a combination safe.*

Tony: Combo's 18-72-17

*He turns the dial to the three numbers, turns the handle, and opens it to find one thousand dollars and an 8 ball of cocaine.*

Fat Black: How have we been moving all this product if you got nothing to show for it?

Tony: I learned a long time ago, the only use being on top has is to make sure no one else can be. Our stuff comes from a place that splits the profits between all the people who make it so nobody gets rich but they can live. I don't cut our shit so it stays pure, and the money I do make goes toward helping people. I donate and privately fund projects in the community. Water fountains, playgrounds, YMCA; shit like that. Everything else is just favors.

Fat Black: You're lying, nobody does this for free. How do afford your life and all this shit?

Tony: I told you, favors. I don't own nothing, and I have a job.

Fat Black: If that's true, you're a fool. But either way I'll be seeing you soon enough to make sure.

Tony: Mira, you think you're the first to try this shit? Every fuckin body wants to play God, nobody knows what it means. I'm not your boss hermano, I'm your landlord. You wanna leave? GO! Don't be surprised when you become the man you hate...if you don't catch a bullet first.

*Tony turns off his camera and the screen goes black. Knowing him by reputation to be a man who stood by his word, Slim realized he was telling the truth. As he stood there alone by the bookshelf, he could only find a single word that burned as much on the way out as it did into his memory.*

Fat Black: Damn.

*Tony put out his cigar and picked up his glass of ice and lemonade.*

Tony: Fuckin pendejo,you try to do for them and they keep fuckin everything up.

Frank: Is this one going to be a problem?

Tony: Who the fuck knows!?

Frank: The last time this happened I had to put your associates down for good.

Tony: Sosa was a fuckin rat. This one had promise. Things are different now.

Frank: Well, I'll do what I can to avoid things going that way, but if it comes to it...just work on finding new people.

*Frank opens the door leading to the side of the bar but stops at the sound of Tony's voice.*

Tony: Castle, why didn't you finish the job that day?

Frank: You died, they didn't pay me twice.

#Mine #The Agents 2 #Fat Black #Tony Montana #Frank Castle #The Punisher

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