#this character lacks images holy shit.

[chiyoso]

“breaking the 4th wall”

h. star rail : jing yuan.

▶CONTENT. insomnia, self conscious doubt, comfort, self aware au, something personal for those who have trouble with loneliness, insomnia and exhaustion, jing yuan is self aware!

▶NOTE. im tired and its 3am, but jing yuan exists so have this comfort fic. also @ainescribe gift for your hardworking ass, ily aine feel better.

Your eyelids grew heavy, laid against the arm rest of the warm sofa, scrolling and tapping away at your phone for anything, any eventful thing that can spark a motivation, an inspiration to you.

It's eating you away. Death scrolling, letting the blue light affect your sleep instead of earning a sleep that your body desperately needs for tomorrow.

Yet, your fingers can't seem to stop moving, as if it had a mind on its own, causing further subconscious guilt and shame, a knowing voice gnawing and belittling behind your state of self, commenting on your disheveled, tired appearance, bags underneath your eyes, your flesh warning you of your stress and lack of self care that you couldn't find the time to do anymore. Shit, and the studying you have to do tomorrow.

All that, but your fingers never leave the glass screen.

3:25 AM Sun, Aug 6 ᯤ [▂] 22%

[Honkai: Star Rail] · PomPom: [Username]! Your trailblaz···

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[Tumblr] · hiraethsdesires just posted a post...

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⊗

“Finally.” You said, tapping the first notification.

You sighed, the notif reminding you of your shitty sleep schedule. It had originally updated you at the early mornings, gradually turning into afternoons, then the evening... night... and...

You were brought back to reality from the sound of the lobby theme, the Astral Express, traveling in your sight, wishing you would be reincarnated into such a life, meeting the ones who made this horrible, tedious lifespan bearable.

Once you hit tap, you were greeted with a loading screen that had Jing Yuan's fact along the bottom, earning a faint smile from you as the image of his splash art pops up in your mind.

Jing Yuan: The Divine Foresight, one of the Seven Arbiter-Generals of the Xianzhou Alliance, leads the Cloud Knights of the Xianzhou Luofu. A student of the Luofu's previous Sword Champion, though not known for his martial prowess.

You were greeted by the sight of Jing Yuan's pixels as always, greeting him bubbly and warmly as you spin him around to face you, zooming into his features, especially admiring his beauty mark under his eye.

“Pretty, so damn pretty,” You hum, moving onto other features, before resuming, checking your daily tasks.

Now what were you doing at this time of night?

You wouldn't know, you will never know, but he will always appreciate the way you greet him every day, but this day—being the observant, Arbiter General that he is, he notices your slurred, tired voice, but still coated with affection that he enjoyed quite a lot. He didn't quite like the bags underneath your pretty eyes that he will take glances of every chance he can get. He didn't like how you were feigning ignorance to your bodily needs, on how you were sacrificing sleep to play.

You led him to the cavern of corrosion; Path of the Holy Hymm once again, endlessly grinding the perfect relics for your main dps, wasting all your trailblaze powder for him. Bronya, Tingyun and Luocha snickered to themselves on how much you spoil the Arbiter General, on how much you baby him lovingly despite his commanding, superior status as the Xianzhou Luofu's face, causing his cheeks to grow hot in result of your affectionate words whenever you go to the character screen, setting and upgrading his relics.

“So strong my general...” His breath got caught to his throat upon hearing you, his blush deepening from the sudden suggestive tone in your voice.

The character screen was filled with the various people that you earned, and they were giggling and smirking slyly to your gestures, making his arms full of materials from the endless grind you did, all for him—a bonus as well, he didn't feel any shred of guilt as you do the same towards the others, but he was just your very, very favorite, and he knew all about it from your vocal prowess.

He would find your curses endearing when you get a shitty relic, but he would soon then join your annoyance as this body relic had stats befitting for a damn healer, might as well give it to Bailu since she's the same element, and fortunately a healer. (In which case you did.)

...

You worried him. Once you were done with your tasks and finishing off your remaining trailblaze powder, your eyelids threatened to shut, giving the Arbiter General a feeling that he hadn't felt in awhile, a certain dread, and a strong one at that towards the player who felt strongly about him.

Your consciousness was drifting, your lids weighing down, but the unthinkable happened.

On the top left corner under the map, a red exclamation mark appears on the chat logo, your tired eyes noticing the sudden mark, giving you a burst of little energy.

You blinked a few times, rubbing your lids gently before landing your irises upon the message again.

Was this a new message update?

A new trailblaze mission?

An event leak? Hoyoverse tease...?

You shook your head, regaining focus to check the patch notes in the game, seemingly finding nothing about any update, but your search doesn't stop there, you looked through the official website, hoyolabs, tumblr, youtube, heck even reddit—but none have mentioned a message regarding to this.

Deciding to remain quiet about this ordeal, you went back to the game to find another message, and another, his restlessness growing evident as the moonlight continues to dawn over your world.

3:38 AM Sun, Aug 6 ᯤ [▂] 19%

[Honkai: Star Rail] · 2 new messages from ▉▉▉▉ ▉▉▉▉ ···

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[Honkai Impact 3rd] · Captain! Your energy has replenishe...

⊗

What- What the fuck?

Your throat lumped to the sight of the first notification, its whole box felt out of place from the others, yet you found your thumb nearing the glass towards the notif, accompanied with your growing blush and curiousity.

You were then met with the Hoyoverse screen once again, assessing the situation you were in as you stare into the blackness of the screen.

Was I... Imagining things? Surely not.

Fuck — I'll just... sleep all day tomorro—

...?

You were met with a slightly glitchy screen of the normal sequence of Jing Yuan's back, but he was... already in his phone. The sprite of his pixels, typing away, seeing the red exclamation mark on top of the speech bubble under the map, earning him a slight breathy inhale from you.

You click the link, losing your shit at the messages that fell before your eyes.

“Ha?”

“What the fuck? I-”

I've lost it.

Oh.

I haven't lost it?

You find yourself staring in silence, re-reading repeatedly the words that only instilled a slight fear yet wonder that was visible on your reddening face.

“But I-... How?” You spoke gently, softly. Something the General wished to hear again, and on cue, his sprite in the game chuckled, as if he was truly listening to you.

'I am only fiction to you' it rings through your head, aching your heart slightly.

You were about to speak, but another message popped up, leaving your body with disappointment and longing, gripping your phone as your eyes gloss over the phenomenon.

“W- Wait! Ji-... Jing Yu...”

You gulp down a lump, bringing your phone closer to your face, your eyes glistening, your whole senses overwhelmed with intensifying longing, warmth — yet accompanied with a growing heartache from the fleeting interaction and him excusing himself abruptly in this otherworldly situation.

...Wait.

Everythi—?

“General...” You muttered out softly, your reddening face from the embarrassing memories that flooded you, his words greatly reminding you of the times where you acted with full on eccentricity, degenerative behavior, lustful tendencies and so on. It made you wonder if other characters such as Blade, Welt — or perhaps even the Aeons heard and witnessed you all this time. It made you shiver with embaunable feelings of humiliation and continuous embarassment, making you unable to think clearly, and the way you threw away your phone onto the couch lightly to cover your heated face? Still being witnessed by the General, and a few other silent spectators of course.

Jing Yuan couldn't believe this situation as well.

This was somehow the work of Silverwolf, a wanted enemy of the Xianzhou, Destiny's Slave, but he felt the most warmth and joy since being summoned by you — no, especially this unforseen interaction with the mortal whose been taking care of everything in the universe within your phone, for taking great care of the Xianzhou especially.

... An endearing mortal at that.

The General and the rest of the game couldn't see as you apparently let go of your device, but your wails and silent squeals were still audible, as the General comes to a conclusion that you perhaps needed to calm down, but in reality, he quite enjoyed this spectacle of yours, even by only listening — in which he was once again very greatful for his grand, and sensitive sense of hearing as he listens to you.

After another, final deep breath, your hand reaches to your phone again, before beginning to press your fingers onto your screen in a frantic haze, but the joystick button was... unresponsive, as well as the others—except for the message button in this moment.

BZZT

Another messaged popped up, quickening your heartrate immediately.

“WH—” Your heart only fluttered and dropped at the same time.

He can do that?

It's... It's probably a bluff.

...

He's the Arbiter General, who am I kidding.

With a warm sigh of content, you find yourself smiling at your phone, hugging it onto your chest with the game still open unknowingly.

“...I love you all. You are all my calm and peace.”

You said quietly, sniffling and accompanied with sounds of your light breathing, drifting off your exhaustions away to fulfill your body's needs.

Finally in your slumber, your phone switches off within a few minutes, thus the floating screen on their end disappears, earning a content sigh from the General as he makes his way towards his office in the Exalting Sanctum, each step felt heavy without your sight now that you were aware he can — or his world can access yours in this small, yet impactful way, but his form grows with confidence, determination setting in his soul as his sights land upon the Cloud Knight whom guarded the way to his office.

Jing Yuan sought out to Welt Yang and Silverwolf immediately in secret after his satisfying interactions with you, informing them of what happened in full detail (though he left out the parts where you cosplayed a squealing tomato, sparing you from further humiliation) and the whole ordeal as it was successful. His subtle praises earned him multiple cheeky and cocky remarks from the criminal hacker, along with a few teasing about him being smitten by you (and to Welt as well), but what can he really do to retaliate back? She was a main source of intelligence and control who provided a connection to you in the first place.

Inevitable, but he was willing to cooperate either way, all for this world, for the Xianzhou — for you.

The three continue to dive into their conversations, planning on how he or others who are interested, can continue to interact with you further more without raising suspicion from their creators upon breaking a few bits of code and data. It was no doubt in mind risky, that was apparent, but so was their endearment and affection towards their human, their player.

In all honesty, Welt and Silverwolf also found themselves wanting to interact with you as well from Jing Yuan's stories of the first ever interaction you had to their world, but of course, if they did it consecutively, it would most definitely be noticable if a few more characters began to act on their own accord, threatening the programmed codes as numbers shift and modify suspiciously.

Though unfortunately, only resorting to using the message system for now, but Silverwolf was confident with her abilities, making use of the way she was made, using the descriptions laid for her against her own creators.

After all, Hoyoverse made her annoyingly cunning, intelligent and skilled. A mistake on their part, or rather, an intended choice of character building for players like us to create, indulge and enjoy? We'll never know.

Unless Hoyoverse put out a stream that specifies the matter, until then Silverwolf remains focused and unyielding to her program, heeding Jing Yuan's call if need be and taking Welt Yang's advices about his own knowledge when it came to multiverses and other worlds from his prior experiences. All this planning, the risk, the longing for more interactions with you — it was a motivation to the three, as well as for the others that greatly wished to converse with you.

An aloof and lazy, the general he may be, but he's a living legacy of dreams and determination for a reason.

A wielder of a great glaive with materials dropped from the remants of the Reignbow Arbiter's Lux Arrow — and tonight, as you slept peacefully, this felt like a moment of miracle once again, the fleeting moment of grace that made their world reach a state of serenity, all from the possibility of having to finally, finally interact with you.

reblogs help my audience reach, thank you.

[project-sekai-facts]

Is it me or are the new outfits simpler? Like old ones had a lot of tiny useless details all around, the new ones look "cleaner" in comparison. It's not bad I kinda like it but it definitely feels weird

Before we start I just wanna say that I kinda critically analysed the costume designs instead of you know. just talking about the details. cool here we go

Yeah aside from VBS they all feel so. Plain, I guess? MMJ’s outfits probably the worst instance, imo they felt more same-y than before and I get they’re an idol unit so they were gonna be uniform but there’s something off. It’s the blue, I get that it’s probably a nod to the blue penlights, but using green or their respective image colors would’ve been better I think. You can barely even see Haruka or Shizuku's image colors on the skirts. Honestly I don’t think the accessories are that bad, they’re pretty cute and fit the group, though the costume being so plain outside of them just makes it look like there should be more. the thing is the outfits aren't the same, they have different skirts and shirts like the original it's just the fact that they all have the same color scheme and similar-enough accessories that it makes the differences less noticable. their image colors should've been the primary or secondary color not the tertiary color.

Leo/need I can get being more uniform, it goes with their whole thing, and I liked how there’s still a lot of details to differentiate them and give them personality. Honestly their original color scheme was pretty basic but making their image colors the secondary colors instead of of the primary colors of their outfit? it just wasn't it. honestly it wouldn't be too bad if the grey wasn't such an ugly color it looks really bad. if they'd gone with black or a much darker grey for the blazers it would've looked so much better and made the accents stand out more. also, the lack of accessories... i get they're more "professional and mature" but their outfits are quite boring, especially next to Miku's. If all of them had a big star armband like Honami or even had a bigger star buckle anywhere (like on a belt) it would look a bit nicer.

WxS was an improvement from Leo/need maybe? The outfits are definitely the most detailed so far, and they had a lot of personality. I like that they kept the original theme of character types (Rui being a villain, Nene being a fairy, etc), and it's not hard to tell what role each of them are meant to be (except emu but it wasn't obvious what hers was in the first place). I think Tsukasa's fits his personality quite well; he plays hero roles so he has a prince sort of outfit, he's the leader so he's got the sash, and he usually dresses very smart. it's very plain though, definitely could've done with brighter colors on the accessories, and maybe keeping the belt charm. also the jacket and trousers being the same color without much to separate them and balance it out doesn't look great. emu and nene's are both better, the color palettes are really nice and their outfits aren't plain holy shit. Emu's fits her personality really well - just by looking you can tell she's a fun and positive person. Rui's is probably the one i'd say is best out of the bunch. I know we can't see the front but the asymmetry and use of black in the color palette makes it stand out a lot and really adds something that the others were lacking. it's a very good villain outfit as well.

N25's were simple, but managed to actually pull it off. they didn't feel really plain compared to some of the other units despite actually being pretty plain. their outfits were always dark, and that hasn't changed, but making the colors more murky adds an extra layer to it. the addition of the flower patterns really adds something to take away the plainess of the original outfits, as well as adding relevant symbolism. Mafuyu's especially stands out being the lightest color and being the most ragged. It tells you she's different, she appears bright and perfect at first, but when you look further down, she's damaged. The image colors could've done with being a bit brighter maybe but other than that these are pretty good.

VBS outfits are actually really good. There I said it. They're able to feel cohesive as a group while still managing to reflect the individuality of each members and not be plain. The outfits fit their personal styles really well, Kohane's more girly, An's more cool and mature, Akito's sporty and active and Toya's more smart but still has the street look. Despite their outfits looking totally different, you can tell they're a unit because of the reddish-pink accents on all their outfits and also using white as a unifying color. i know i complained about the white making the other outfits plain but it's far more balanced out here and isn't as in-your-face. it isn't like MMJ and WxS that have white as their main outfit color. With VBS it's just one white item of clothing: Kohane's sweater, An's cargos, Akito's hoodie and Toya's tshirt. it's incorporated in a very natural way and isn't overly prominent. their image colors and other colors are used just as much in the outfits to balance it out. they have the best balance undoubtedly. even the accessories, they aren't big and there's not a whole lot of them, but the outfits already have a lot going on so they don't need to be complex, they're just there to add something extra.

There’s too much white.

[dynamightmite]

Some of the responses to my last post have made me realize that maybe Bakugo's trauma isn't as well understood as some of the other characters', and, because I have free time today, I figured I might as well break it down in chronological order and work from there (warning you now: this will be long).

To begin with, there's a lot of obvious things about the Sludge villain incident that would be traumatizing for basically anyone. And as much as Bakugo tried to shove off the after-effects, we know he was scared:

But there are a lot of Bakugo-specific reasons why the Sludge villain really fucked with his confidence and sense of self-worth. For one thing, while we see Midoriya getting attacked, he's rescued by All Might almost instantly. He barely has time to realize he's suffocating before he's free. Bakugo? Not so much. It's unclear how long, exactly, the Sludge villain holds him hostage, but it's at least a few minutes. Which doesn't sound very long until you remember that Bakugo was fourteen, couldn't breathe, and, because he isn't stupid, was completely aware that multiple pro heroes were basically standing around watching him be brutalized and doing absolutely nothing to help.

The only person who did help was Deku. The only person. The only person who gave enough of a shit about Bakugo to try and save him was the person he has the most complicated relationship with: his rival, his victim, his childhood friend, the person he feels both the safest and most exposed with. The person he measures himself against constantly, and internally finds himself lacking. So not only is all of this happening, but Deku—who just hours earlier Bakugo was mocking for being weak—is the one person strong enough to try and do something, and gets front row seats to Bakugo's own weakness.

Then All Might shows up and saves Bakugo from what is, at that point, the most humiliating, terrifying thing that has ever happened to him. But of course Bakugo isn't happy about it; he never wanted to be saved by All Might, and meeting his hero for the first time the way he did? What Bakugo wanted, desperately, was to prove himself to All Might, and instead he's just another dumb kid that got saved from a villain attack by the greatest pro hero who ever lived.

Not only that, but this was in public. It was televized. Bakugo was made so famous for it, people recognized him years later on the street based solely on his face. And while theoretically that's great exposure for him, imagine if the worst, most degrading moment of your entire life was broadcast on live, national television, and constantly brought up like some funny anecdote by people who don't even know you. He was fourteen years old being physically assaulted and strangled in front of the entire country and unable to do anything about it. Not only did that damage his pride, but it really fucked with him mentally. Look at what Midoriya even says about him:

That's not even to begin talking about how much pressure he puts himself under to be the best, no exceptions. He has a full-on panic attack when he loses in Deku vs. Kacchan 1 because he ties his self-worth so completely to winning he thinks of himself and worthless without it. Look how deeply it affects him:

That's not just bruised pride, that's Bakugo dealing with every single one of his insecurities being laid bare in public again. It's gonna just keep happening, too. And sure, like with this fight, sometimes he brings it on himself, but. Holy shit, this poor kid.

Then, of course, we have the kidnapping.

Despite their misapplication of their information, the LoV actually understands Bakugo pretty well. By that I mean, they figured out what affects Bakugo the most and capitalize on it to try and win him over to their side. They attack his image as a hero. Which seems kind of lame and generic, except it really hits home. Why?

Because that's his biggest insecurity, his deep, dark shame: Bakugo doesn't think of himself as heroic.

He's an excellent fighter and strategist, he's fearless, able to work well under pressure, adaptable, quick-thinking, and extremely powerful. All incredible traits for a hero. What he doesn't have is an instinct to save others. Deku does; he'll reach his hand out to anyone, without thought, no matter the cost to his safety/happiness. But Bakugo consistently struggles with this aspect of being a true hero. He's very aware of how important it is—every time he talks about Deku looking down on him, the thing he was laughing at Bakugo for? Yeah, this is it—and how very much he lacks it. And the LoV rubs his face in the fact that not only do a bunch of villains see him as being villainous, but the public he's supposed to be well on his way to protecting do, too. Yeah Aizawa defends him, but of course that whole experience negatively affects Bakugo. Especially because of what comes after.

Deku vs. Kacchan 2 is probably the closest Horikoshi comes to stabbing the audience through the brain with a knife labeled "Bakugo's trauma".

The whole fight is just Bakugo baring his soul in the most raw, heart-wrenching way possible. Look at what he asks Deku:

None of these lines should be ignored. This is Bakugo admitting that he is terrified that every bit of praise he's ever received is meaningless in the face of reality, which has proven that he is not worthy. All Might didn't think so, otherwise why wouldn't he have picked Bakugo to be his successor? Every ounce of skill, all the effort Bakugo has poured into his dream, it all means nothing. Why? Because Deku is inherently heroic, and Bakugo is not. Bakugo knows it, Midoriya knows it (why else would he be laughing in Bakugo's face if he wasn't intimately aware of his failures?), All Might knows it—hell, the whole world knows it. And because Bakugo is his own worst critic, he's gutted that someone like him, someone unworthy, destroyed the Symbol of Peace. His hero.

Does this not look like trauma? Does this not look like a kid poorly dealing with PTSD who's lashing out and trying to punish himself? And trying to purge his emotions the only way he knows how, through fighting? Who is desperately seeking some kind of compassion and connection in Deku, because he is losing his mind and can't keep going? He's a kid who's been given basically zero support, who's been expected to deal with not only being kidnapped and psychologically tortured, but also being the direct cause of Japan's sudden criminal uprising. That is so much pressure to put on a child. Any single bit of Bakugo's experience would be traumatizing by itself, but put together? It's like a personalized hell for him.

And then we have the Moment. The my body just moved on its own moment. Bakugo is so afraid for Deku leading up to this:

And afterward? It really affects him.

He's scared for Deku. He's beating himself up for not supporting him better, for not getting over himself and taking Deku's hand. He thought his closest person was going to die in front of his eyes, and then that person ran away. Of course that traumatized Bakugo.

Now, the reason Bakugo's trauma often gets overlooked (both in canon and in the fandom space) is, in my opinion, because he doesn't express his trauma in a way that's easy to romanticize. It often comes out as anger and violence, loud and obnoxious and toxic. His trauma responses hurt other people, specifically Deku. And in a character that isn't going for poor little meow meow bloodthirsty vengeance-based criminal or abused child with terrible social skills but a heart of gold, it's hard for people to wrap their heads around the fact that Bakugo isn't really a bad kid so much as he's a kid who has had a lot of crap dumped on him and hasn't been given any tools to heal. He doesn't know how to express his feelings easily or clearly when he isn't in the middle of a fight, and he has very few coping skills to help him deal with his crippling self-loathing and inferiority complex. So when he reaches his mental limit, he—pun intended—explodes.

That isn't to say that Bakugo isn't responsible for his trauma responses, the same way every other character is. He absolutely deserves to be taken to task over them, and the narrative has done a good job of giving him one consequence after the other. But at the same time, he really is just a child who is doing his best in a fucked up situation. And while his actions definitely have hurt other people, the amount of mental torment Bakugo finds himself in on a regular basis deserves more sympathy than I think he sometimes gets.

I understand why characters like Shoto get more of the poor baby treatment, because he's the perfect victim: faultless, and his anger is almost 100% directed at the perpetrator, his father. Comparatively, Bakugo's trauma is messy and overflowing and directed at all the wrong people. But that's neither unrealistic nor even all that surprising, given what we know about him. And part of that is because his trauma isn't nearly as straight-forward, since it's so wrapped up in his own self-esteem issues that he blames himself, and then tries to refocus his hurt and anger on Deku to mitigate his own pain.

It's a big part of why I like Bakugo so much; he represents the unappealing side of trauma responses that are so common, but so often get overlooked because they're unappealing. He's a victim who doesn't act the way we want a victim to act, but rather the way they usually do, and for that I applaud Horikoshi on his realism.

[justmenoworries]

Yes, Hi, hello, can we talk about how Bumblebee seems to be canonically friends with a Decepticon????

(Image is from the new EarthSpark trailer, time-stamp: 0:05)

That right there, on the new character’s chest? That’s a Decepticon-badge, no doubt about it. They even got the red optics typical for a ‘Con.

Holy shit, you don’t know how happy seeing this makes me. The way EarthSpark chooses to portray the Decepticons has been intriguing (if slightly disappointing) so far, I really wanna know this guy’s story.

Bumblebee’s line of how it’ll be “just like old times” suggests that he’s been friends with this guy maybe even before the war ended.

Is the implication here that Megatron wasn’t the only Decepticon who chose to side with the humans? That there were actually ‘Cons who thought he had a point and followed him? Does GHOST know about this Decepticon? His badge is lacking the GHOST symbol, so he’s not working for them. Is he in hiding, like Bumblebee?

Hhhhhh, I’m so normal about season 1b, you don’t even know.

[pippastrelle]

Bulletpoint liveblog of C3E91 let's go!

Second half: Crown Keepers

Oh, is this where the Crownkeepers come in? I heard that. Haha I always wonder what it's like at the studio hiding the fact that, like, Robbie is there.

AABRIA! God, I want to know how her hair and makeup is done. It's so different and so cool nearly every time I see her. She's got such style.

Moment to appreciate the music they play during the art reel at the end of the break.

CROWNKEEPERSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! I actually never fully watched Kymal so the bunny woman was a surprise XD

The collaborativeness is nice, asking Anjali about her sister.

ahahaha god this platform. DON'T WHIPLASH MY EMOTIONS LIKE THIS! I'M CRYING OVER ORYM AND ALL!

….Me not having watched Kymal might confuse me for the next two hours.

Black lipstick will never not get me. Aimee.

Is Dorian going to reply to Orym's message??????

Good on Matt for starting off.

(Pleeeeease may they say this woman's name). Her character's Morrighan. Whoa, a champion of the Matron of Ravens.

The Crownkeepers have been having a real swell time.

(Fy'ra Rai has always been a great name to say). So, sent by the Wildmother to protect them.

Aww, Dorian feeling some consequences of his avoidance.

From an above-table perspective, I'm surprised they're all feeling so lost? I wonder if it was planned and if Aabria's going to suddenly give them a direction, or if they're reticent to set too much in stone?

OPAL'S BETRAYER GOD CHAMPION DESIGN IS SO SICK; I LOVE IT!

Sleep as an exhausting void… Creepy.

"Can I hear him?" "Make a wisdom save." Terrifying. "Shouting at you while running backwards." What a description.

I do love Opal, too. Such a situation but still trying to retain that image of her.

"We gotta get these chuckles out not." Whimper in terrified player.

I love Aabria's GM-ing in a lot of other things (ACOFAF is S-tier), but I think this highlights why I found EXU Prime harder to get into. The Crownkeepers tend to lack a motivating goal from the off-set, making it a bit hard for me to figure what they're trying to do and why.

Still, starting off with PVP might be the wakeup!

HA! Matt Mercer doing the ad read. Love it.

Spider Queen is intimidating and poor, poor Opal.

Holy shit, Opal's raising into the air and burning the forest. Hahaha make Aimee choose which friend to destroy. Awwww forcing her into PvP!

Goddddddd Aabria is the Betrayer God here.

Black eyessssssss. Magic second set of arms.

God, imagine being Aimee rn.

27 on initiative??????

THE DARIAX ROLLS RETURN!

At least Opal can communicate her panic.

HASTE ON OPAL???? HA! VENMO TO HASTE THE ENEMY!

The Dariax rolls balance Morrighan's.

Aw, sweet with Morrighan and Opal whispering telepathically.

Amazing image of stone cold Opal in contrast.

I like how Matt and Aabria pop in with lessons for the others. Nice to see players propping each other up.

CRYSTAL RAPIER? NICE!

"She's just a little guy."

Absolutely fair, seeing weird shit for your Betrayer God Champion friend and just wanting to knock her the fuck out.

Kind of Anjali to tally up the numbers as they roll.

Eeeeeek, ripping a rapier down her thigh.

OPAL DOESN'T TAKE THE DAMAGE????? IS THAT A REACTION OR????

TED!

Hahaha "if Opal did crossfit".

(I googled it. Morrighan is played Erica.)

Oh christ Ted's helping. I wonder how much Morrighan knows about Ted.

"NONONO STOP!" as verbal component for Shield is fantastic.

I don't trust that this is Ted?? Does Ted know Opal's fucked right now??

"Why's the first thing you do drawing blood?" Well, because it's D&D.

Haste lets you go get a hotdog from Arby's. Vax knew this well.

Aabria's English accent is so American-version-of-English but I like how it sounds anyway.

Let the ashhole return, cowards!

Yeah, Robbie, this is a weird situation. Dorian's just choking on his flute. Yeah, trying to restrain Opal is a good plan. NO! NAT 20 minus 1 + 4 plus 13. Aimee/Opal, go! Get! It!

Nice, Aabria, failing forward is a lesson we can all incorporate.

NAT ONE PLUS 13?? ROBBIE! Cannot catch a break.

T_T Fy'ra being betrayyyyyed again. Ooh, very very cool from Anjali calling for a flashback.

(We still never got the response to Orym. Has that happened yet or it that going to be the bookend? I'm curious what this is going to mean for the actual campaign. It's a really fun idea to bring in another GM for a section. Sure, more Actual PlayTM than homegame but Matt at least gets to play.)

Haha Anjali welcome to the DM club! I know about this from the Ginny Di video. Anjali DMed an official lego game.

Can they free Opal?

Ohhh. The Wildmother wants this? Am I misunderstanding? Shit.

They can't separate Opal from the crown.

Love how different people set their dice.

Never take advice from GM Aabria :P

Holy shit these guys roll high.

I hardly ever see people take the dodge action.

I do like Opal a lot.

So the Spider Queen is just trying to full take over Opal. I wonder if Teven or the other Betrayer God Champion had this sort of thing happen.

GO AWAY FOREVER??? THEIR MOTHER DID THIS TO OPAL AND TED?? Evalux? A splinter group? I'M SO CONFUSED AND INTRIGUED! THE BEACON'S INVOLVED??? How tf did they get it in Byroden? So there's a splinter of Luxon followers who split themselves in one life instead? God, I hope the main cast get to watch this.

…..And Opal has no memory of it. Will we ever get this information?

Erica continues to roll like a god.

The turns have felt both long and fast. I've still got, like, an hour and a half.

I love how Matt describes/contextualises things, even as a player.

HA! CYRUS IS HERE?!

ROLL PERFORMANCE FOR HANDJOB

A 7!!!!!

Bless is good. Dariax panicking is great.

XD God initiative takes a long time in a big group.

THE ROLLS! THE DARIAX ROLLS!

Ah! Dariax is a bard! Yeah! So cuuuute for the Double Ds. "THE PERFORMING ARTS IS WORTH IT!"

So. All of them are blind in the darkness. Awesome, awesome move, Aimee.

Hahhahahahaha right. Warlock. No spell slots.

XD It's such a long game. No loo breaks.

SQUIRREL SPIDER FTW

Gotta love Cyrus. "NO DON'T SHOOT!" The himbo persists.

….Matt, what did you get for the WIS save?

PALADIN COMES IN FOR THE SAVE!

Hahahaha "that could can see". Okay. Blind mistystep? …..I'm sure 8 will get it.

Aww, attacking your friend's going to leave a bad taste in your mouth. Lay on Hands is good.

I appreciate Aabria's helpfulness as a GM.

Fy'ra good teammate.

Opal, again, is amazing. I love how she tackles such complex things in her very Her way. Preserves drama and humour in her self-absorbtion.

I wonder how Opal washes her hair under that crown?

Well, some allowance for fighting when Opal attacked them? Obvs harder emotionally than logically.

Aww everyone got to see the memory of Opal and Morrighan bonding.

HA! LOVE FY'RA BEING COMMANDER!

Dorian is forever clanking with all the instruments he carries. T_T 9 to dispel fails. Good plan though. Until back into the darkness he goes.

I like the idea of going back to the Crownkeepers, especially as a perspective on Opal and Dorian, but I'm two hours into this section and still don't quite get the full significance of it. Which is a shame. I still have faith, but I think this encounter would be more enjoyable if I understood better why we were seeing it in the Bell's Hells campaign.

I've always respected Opal/Aimee going in on being the asshole sister. Getting to see that perspective.

The gem flashbacks are cool.

"We can both be coins." "And we're richer for it!" Amazing. Great pun. Love Fy'ra. Love Ted coaching Opal.

Max offering blind Dariax up on a plate. Respect.

I LOVE MATT AS DARIAX! SO FUNNY!

Con sorcerer is smart.

Aabria has no luck against Dariax.

I'm sure that 9 WIS will help perception.

BARDIC COMES IN CLUTCH!

DIMENSION DOOR IS A BONUS ACTION?!

I. Love. Opal. Aimee plays her and her struggles and her relationships with everyone so well and nuanced. Dariax is a well-done character too. Real even behind the humour.

I leapt too, Aimee. Holy shit what the fuck, Spider Queen?

(Fuck you, Twitch, for skipping, my god).

Oh god, Cyrus, don't die.

Nooooo, Dariax. Living nightmares. Him and Dorian seeing their nightmares.

Spider Queen Opal wtf.

Pick up next week? Huh. I… am confused by this. Interesting encounter. I liked the drama between the Crown Keepers. But, again, I don't understand the significance for the Bell's Hells? So I reckon next week will be first half Crown Keepers, second half Bell's Hells. Huh. Interesting episode. It was fun, though I really don't deny still being on the edge of my seat to find out what's happening with the BH.

[itsjustpoopeh]

"buck is the reason eddie still has custody over chris" holy shit. who ARE these people? WHAT ARE THEY WATCHING???

wait...

wait... do people really think the Buck's COMA dream, you know the images BUCK'S brain thought up while he was IN A COMA, are an accurate, RELIABLE representation of a reality where Buck was never a firefighter?

I think they do take that coma dream absolutely literally, yes. it's the tragic lack of media analysis skills endemic to modern fandom coupled with this specific group's pathological need to make every damn thing about buddie. they absolutely cannot read the text fully to understand those were Buck's fears, not prophecies

I'm not even going to get into the absolute lack of respect for Eddie as a character and a father to even imply that he needed Buck to *keep his own son* I --

[imminentinertia]

(I added an image description to the gif)

Now that everyone's forgotten about it it's a great time to word vomit about Last Twilight, yes? But it was only recently I finally managed to finish the last episode of Last Twilight and I have Thoughts and I needed to digest.

I also have A Very Personal Frame of Reference for how I judge media dealing with blindness. What I have read about Last Twilight has been a lot of delight, a lot of disappointment with how the story went, analysis of colours and outfits and dialogue and narrative elements, but I haven't yet seen much about the depiction of vision loss. Soooo *cracks knuckles*

(I bet I've missed some posts about it, though. I'd like to be pointed to such posts)

As for me:

I had an older relative with severe vision loss thanks to untreated glaucoma (get your eyes checked regularly once you hit 40! Glaucoma is treatable).

I grew up with two friends who had lost an eye as small children - one also had severe vision loss in the remaining eye, the other had a well functioning eye. Actually I know more people my age who have lost an eye and I did then too, but I was close with these two and I guided the near blind one often.

I have a younger relative, someone very close to me, who gradually went from perfect vision to near blind. That's the most important person from everyone with visual impairment I've known, in this context.

Let's just say I had a beady eye (sorry) on Last Twilight when I first heard of it, since I have a fair bit of experience as friend, relative, guide and activist when it comes to visual impairment. I've tried moving about with a white cane and I've learned braille (I don't remember much, though). I've provided the audio commentary when watching films with blind people, more times than I can count (and I've explained several times, with various degrees of impatience, to seeing strangers that yes, blind people can enjoy the cinema). I know a fair bit about this, I believe.

Which means I'm rarely terribly impressed with media depictions of visual impairment and it's something I tend to focus on.

As for Last Twilight:

HOLY SHIT SEA'S AMAZING ACTING

(I added an image description to the gif)

If anyone tries to claim he's not doing a fantastic job, they're objectively wrong. One may argue that artistic quality is subjective as it's invariably judged against a set of agreed upon conventions rather than true objective measures, but if you hold Sea's acting up against any agreed upon good acting and find it lacking, you need to look again.

I noticed him slipping (eyes focusing when they shouldn't) twice. Slightly. In the gif above, if a seeing character was delivering that line, the actor would focus on Jimmy when he turns his head. It's natural, there's movement and seeing people's attention is drawn to that, especially when it's this close to us.

Sea doesn't. He fucking doesn't. He looks like Day is concentrating and listening and feeling and he fucking doesn't even glance Jimmy's way even though that's what every cell in his human body wants him to. And that's just one of a million examples of how instruction, coaching and Sea's talent and effort offers up a Day that seriously seems visually impaired.

Sometimes, when a seeing actor is playing a blind character, they get instructed to - or choose - to go so unfocused that they look empty-brained. Some plaster on a vapid smile and/or Stevie Wonder head movements (you should know that Stevie Wonder turned blind very quickly after his premature birth, and he has no idea of how seeing people move. Adults who go blind are unlikely to move like him). Sea, however, looks like his brain is focusing but his eyes do not.

Day is intelligent and goofy and angry and bitter and worried and snarky-funny and sad and delighted and all of it shows on Sea's face, while his eyes look the part. It's so well done, I'm in awe.

Sea also moves exactly like my near blind younger relative and it's fucking uncanny. It's like seeing them. The often hesitant steps, the slight lean forward, the way Day uses his hands and fingers to figure out where he is and what is close to him, it gave me goosebumps. The way Day uses the remains of his sight to look at things is so like seeing my relative that I literally gasped the first time I saw it.

All the awards for Sea, please. And quite a few for Aof Noppharnach and the visually impaired acting coach. By the way, I never caught the coach's name, so if someone knows it I'd love to know.

HOLY SHIT A NEAR BLIND CHARACTER GETS TO BE COMPLEX

(I added an image description to the gif)

That doesn't happen as often as one should think. When the story is about being/going blind, the blind character is often either a super brave little ray of sunshine, or terribly tragic. Day is neither. He is all of it. He is human. He's so well written it makes me need to chew on my fists, he has all the dimensions.

Mork is arguably a bit less rounded, but Mork wears quite a few masks, and he is absolutely a human being, not a pretty cardboard cutout.

HOLY SHIT A NEAR BLIND CHARACTER GETS TO DO REAL NEAR BLIND PEOPLE STUFF

(I added an image description to the gif)

It doesn't happen as often as one might think. Fumbling somewhat, using a white cane (often in a completely meaningless way), wearing dark glasses all the fucking time - those are the staples of token blind characters, all too often. One of my favourite scenes in Last Twilight is actually when Day reads Morks contract, because it showcases a visually impaired person using his phone as a reading tool, perfectly real-looking. Well done! Kudos! Standing ovations! Now stop him there and don't let him do the stupid unnecessary breakup

Running with a seeing guide and using a phone for lots of text to speech/speech to text purposes. Going to events, libraries, bookshops, markets, parties. Going out to eat, watching a film. Day does all this with a caretaker's help for some, but not all of it. Blind people do things like this. They're not special little miracles for it, they're just people who hopefully have access to decent assistive products. Entirely too often main blind characters don't get to do many of these things. Entirely too often they're just vehicles for some inane moral of the "stay positive" variety, unless they're in a tragedy.

For the record, in the scene where Mork uses a white cane inexpertly, to put it mildly, it's quite obvious to me that Aof was aiming to show us Mork's sheer desperation. Mork's personality has extremes, and trying to put himself in a blind person's shoes and making it a lot of people's problem seems like something a distressed Mork could in fact do. The result is that he looks like a Bad Blind Character, but that's fine, just like the actors portraying those characters Mork doesn't know shit about what he's doing.

HOLY SHIT THEY DIDN'T MAKE DAY PERMANENTLY BLIND. WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT

(At this point it's probably no surprise that I added an image description to the gif)

Yes. Well. Day gets his vision back in order to live properly happily ever after. I was mad as fuck about that for a while, and about the incredibly stupid breakup and time skip. I'm still mad about the most useless breakup plot fuckery ever and the time skip, and the general clunkiness of the final episode, but I'm not mad anymore about Last Twilight not showing that blind people can have true happiness.

It's about the audience, eh. To an audience of almost exclusively seeing people (I assume), losing one's sight is a frightful thing and doesn't make for the happiest of happy endings, and Day's condition is actually treatable. So production gave him his sight back. It would have been a notch braver to not do that, but a sweet romance isn't necessarily here to be all that brave. They did a lot of good work with showing how Day could manage many things on his own, with the right aids, and when the vast majority of the audience can be assumed to be seeing, showing how near blindness isn't crippling may be good enough.

After all, people are ignorant about blindness and will offer to help only to grab hold of the blind person's arm and drag them along, which is BAD, but if you've seen that guy on Last Twilight do guiding right maybe you'll do that yourself, if your assistance is needed some day. Maybe you'll listen to what the blind person is saying instead of assuming they lost their brain along with their vision.

And it's always a hell of a lot more convenient to see than to be blind, so when you have a condition that can be fixed, go ahead.

Except for that one fucking doctor making it sound like Day had three months left to live while it was just another few months until his vision would go completely, and everyone in the room (Day, mum, Night, Mork) just accepting that, I think Last Twilight did a really good job of showing that while there are great inconveniences to losing one's vision it's not being sentenced to sitting at home and feeling helpless, like Day starts out. It did a great job of dealing with an overprotective mother and a terribly guilty-feeling brother, too.

I would have liked Day to stay blind and end extremely happy, and I think it's bit of a waste of a character to heal him from the very premise of the story, but I'm not angry. Not anymore.

Although I greatly disliked the happyhappyhappy seeing ending, I was annoyed with most of the dad arc and the speedrun Night/Porjai romance, I loathed the breakup part and I hated how Day never took responsibility for his own actions leading to the accident where he got the cornea damage (although I will grudgingly admit that it's actually something that lends a whole lot of realism to Last Twilight and to Day), all in all, I honestly loved this show. No show is flawless, and Sea's gorgeous acting alone is enough to make up for a lot.

I recommend this blogger on how to write blind or visually impaired characters, if you'd like to know (a lot) more.

[sapphire-weapon]

Hey, can you tell me a little more about how RE6 was recieved by fans? I know it's generally disliked, but I'm curious as to how original fans actually reacted to the writing. When I played it a few months ago (I got into RE last year), it absolutely threw me. I thought the characterisation and the romances and overall plot were horrendous. I'm even wary of accepting half of it as canon!

First, there's Jake Muller. While I did actually like him, because I thought the whole anti-hero trope was refreshing, his whole superpowered story that was never picked up again was... pretty bad. Chris and his amnesia was tolerable at best. I did actually enjoy his dynamic with Piers (and I shipped the hell out of them I'm ngl, lol) but he felt so ?? off. I can't explain it. I thought how Piers was killed was super cheap and unnecessary too.

Then there's Leon... jesus christ Leon. He was awful in that game. He had such a weird relationship with Helena and an underwhelming reunion with Sherry. Then there's the absolute mess that was his relationship to Ada. It made me physically cringe. "You... have feelings." This man has not seen her in YEARS, with a long history of betrayal. Why in the world is he moping around and getting into physical altercations with Chris Redfield to protect her, ignoring her crimes? I laughed so hard. They made him absolutely absurd and senseless. I can't stand the RE6 version of him, I'm sorry. He was hard to tolerate.

Then... the Ada campaign. Holy Jesus the Ada campaign, with the slime clone!? WHAT WAS THAT!? And apparently she dated the villain or something and he was upset because he was madly in love with her, if I remember correctly? I specifically saved her campaign for last because I was so excited for Ada content, only to be met with the laziest, cardboard cutout 2000's Hollywood tropes. Tripe. But at least I got a good laugh from it.

Am I alone with these opinions? I genuinely thought pretty much everything about it was rubbish, lacking effort and made no sense. They were ALL weirdly out of character and I'd never desire to replay it. Could this be a general consensus? I'd love to hear your experience and what the original reception was like. I know RE6 is generally slated, but that seems for gameplay, rather than the rubbish story!

Most of the criticisms about RE6's story surrounded:

Leon being a "simp" for Ada

Simmons just making absolutely no sense at all and turning into a T-Rex somehow and making the confrontation with him underwhelming and stupid as a result

Sherry's powers being underwhelming and kind of a cop-out for giving her extreme plot armor

Chris's amnesia being completely pointless and stupid, as well as his entire campaign being horribly unfun to play

The Carla Radames storyline being the single dumbest shit in mainline Resident Evil, and that includes the whole Ashford siblings thing involving Alexia being a 7 year old prodigy working alongside Albert goddamn Wesker

There were other criticisms, too, surrounding the enemy and level designs, as well as the game's tendency to just have something blow up when they didn't know how to transition a scene. But. Those ^ were the big things.

The three things that were regularly and almost universally praised about RE6's writing were:

The general atmosphere of Leon and Helena's campaign

Piers Nivans

The pacing and imagery of Ada's campaign

#3 has since been removed from the list, because the whole tone of her campaign got fucked up when they patched in a co-op partner for her.

But, on RE6's release, Ada's campaign was a solo mission, and it was praised as the single best campaign in the game, period. Ada being forced to go through a maze of hallways with images of her own face forming on the walls and a voice yelling "I AM ADA WONG" was genuinely unnerving back when it was just her going it alone. And, back then, her campaign wasn't available from the start, either. You had to beat all three of the other campaigns first to even unlock it.

I, personally, was far less critical of RE6 than most of the wider fandom was -- and that was for a few reasons.

I was able to forgive RE6 for a lot of its stupid bullshit because I loved other parts about it so much more than I hated it, and those beloved parts were:

Giving us better insight on Leon's mental state through the various files found throughout the game

Giving us Leon and Chris's friendship and portraying it as beautifully as they did (I said this before, but I walked away from RE6 thinking "No one on this planet loves Leon Kennedy more than Chris Redfield does")

Giving us Leon as a full-grown adult and a professional (before the whole bullshit with Ada poked its fucking ass into his campaign and ruined the story)

Chris's personality, for the most part. In the flashback sections before his men are killed/he ends up with amnesia, and then later in the game after Leon soothes his giant asshurt about Ada -- those sections are some of the best moments Chris has as a character post-REmake (huge parts of RE5 were not kind to him lmao)

Ada's campaign, for the reasons listed above

Turning Wesker into a pump&dump deadbeat dad (I'm sorry but this is still very funny to me, even today)

Actually returning Sherry to the storyline and keeping her kind-hearted and good-natured instead of dead inside like she very well could have been (also RE6 is the only title in the entire series that actually calls attention to Leon's paternal love for Sherry, even a little bit)

Piers Nivans. Just... in general. Piers is still the best-written, most charismatic single-title character that Resident Evil has ever produced, and yes I'm including Remake Luis and Remake Ashley in that. I love him unconditionally, and I'm so upset that he's dead.

The Rasklapanje monsters being objectively scarier than Regenerators, somehow

... Even though you can put their limbs in the microwave and shit, which is actually hilarious and I love it

The combat system just in general. People shit on RE6's combat only because they don't understand it. If you try to just stand and shoot things like RE4 and RE5, you're gonna run out of ammo and you're gonna have a bad time. RE6 is a hybrid shooter/brawler that encourages a very aggressive playstyle. Once you figure that out, this game becomes HELLA fun.

I think RE6 has the potential to be great in the Remake series, because there is a lot of good stuff there. It's just buried under the much more obvious, glaring, REALLY BAD SHIT that's there, too.

[kennyswurvegurl]

Welp. I finally got this ending for myself so why not fully dive into my Yoosung Has a Psychotic Break in the Day 5 Common Bad End analysis.

First up I noticed two things that I believe are sort of a basis for the delusion (other than Zen's dream of course), especially in the second image. I believe Rika might have once said this during an episode and Yoosung is now clinging to it as a symptom of his delusion. It also appears that Rika had mentioned "paradise" to him in passing, not fully explaining what she meant, of course, but just enough for it to linger in the back of his mind.

Next, we have the delusion itself. [Click to view full images.] Yoosung is convinced that Seven has implanted a chip within the brains of every RFA member except V. His distrust towards V resulting from all his secrets also leads him to latch to him as a sort of "villain" for his delusion. This may also be a way for his brain to try and rationalize Rika's death. Seven is also dragged into this for similar reasons, on top of the fact that he is the RFA's machine expert.

Mental breaks like this usually occur due to some stressful event or merely increased levels of stress, which is why most disorders of this nature tend to break through during college. Yoosung, on top of being a struggling college student, is still stressed from his lack of closure for the death in his family, as well as having a new person join the organization set to host the first party in a while in only a little over a week. I also think the part about the brainchip makes this go from possibly being a quirky meta commentary to a chilling character moment.

This was probably a bout of (take this with a grain of salt we I couldn't get enough info from these short convos) Brief Psychotic Disorder rather than the development of a fully fledged psychotic disorder. If Mint Eye hadn't taken him away, he likely would have been fine within a couple days with proper help. Then again, this all takes place over a couple of hours, so there's not enough data to make a concrete conclusion. That's just my speculation.

This one just scared me.

Like I got chills. This ending fucks me up, man.

Fuck having a character love you in every route. Yoosung needs fucking therapy in every route. They all do. Holy shit.

[your--isgayrights]

Holy shit are you the one that wrote that really good orv soulmates au? You're killing it! Also do you ever think about Kim Namwoon? I do. I think it's cool how he's introduced as a chuuni with no moral code, but as the story progresses he somehow develops into this odd character that represents the lack of a divide between good and evil. At first, his actions in the train are shown as cruel and evil, but then you realize that in some ways, he's actually kind of right? Ima write an essay (1/??)

Ok so im back- so I can't put images in an ask, but Kim namwoon's monologue about killing that woman is actually really interesting. He talks about how they HAVE to kill her- If they don't, they're all going to die. And that's wrong (but only because of the grasshoppers- is Gilyoung wasn't there, He'd actually be in the right here) So, in the context of the first scenario, Kim Namwoon is 'evil'. but as you read more, you realize a lot of stuff which retroactively redeems him (2/??) For example, Everyone outside of car 3807 who survives is a murder, just like Kim Namwoon. And they aren't evil for it- there's a distinction made between murderers and monsters. There's a lot of this- The scene in the theatre dungeon on the boats (live no matter what), etc etc. and we see that Kim Dokja isn't opposed to them either. The main reason he let Kim namwoon die is because he hates him. which is cool! especially because it leads the way for future character development (3/??) Regarding their relationship- Kim Dokja has to come to terms with the fact that Namwoon wasn't actually all that bad, both by working with him in the underworld and meeting the ''him' from alternate regressions. This arc works for two purposes- 1) It relates to the theme of evil versus good- Kim Namwoon is neither, so it's unfair to treat him as one or the other. But the second is my favorite- Kim Dokja's opinion of Namwoon serves as a kind of metaphor for his opinion on himself. (4/5) We know from the text that He sees Kim namwoon as similar to him, and so it's interesting to see him stop hating him as he comes to terms with stuff.

Always cool to hear from someone who's read wall fic :). You reminded me that there's a few Kim Namwoon scenes in the next chapter I'm excited to write... but my writing anxiety has been acting up again on the end of chapter four and I have to finish sewing a l/eech be/anie b/aby from scratch this week, so it'll probably be a bit til we get there.

I think that your analysis is really interesting, mostly because going at it from the angle of "morality" of omniscient reader is a perspective i kind of lack on my own. Like good vs evil is one of The themes of ORV that they hand out to you in their list of themes they have written on some literal walls, but honestly its not something i really think about on my own. For me, like you mention, the big emphasis of KNW's character is what he represents to Kim Dokja, bc i think one of my favorite themes is the relationship of him as a reader to the WoS characters and the "impossible communication" theme.

I think that one of my favorite aspects of Kim Dokja is the way that he was able to empathize and see himself in the different characters in WoS and give them the specific comforts they needed at different times in the story (reaching out to LJY, SYS, YJH, etc) and fundamentally giving them someone who is on their side and their for them when everything is lost and they are alone, because that's something that he didn't have. All throughout reading ways of survival, the only thing by his side was this story. He sort of knows what the solutions to their problems are just cause he knows what he needed back then... so this really positive trait is coming out of his projection of his own thoughts and feelings from the past to these characters he loves. It's great that we have Kim Namwoon as an inversion of that, a character onto whom he's projected not the struggles he faced, but rather the traits that embarrass him.

This is mostly my interpretation but I really feel that there are similarities in the ways KDJ talks about himself as a child idolizing Yoo Joonghyuk and going through a chuuni phase and the way that he talks about KNW, and I think him being unkind to KNW is an extension of him being unkind to himself. Like at the beginning of ORV KDJ is in this place where his hero worship of YJH is at this crossroads with his view of his own self that he expects YJH to just treat him like a bug he has to exterminate unless he proves some other value. This perspective is interesting when you take into account that KDJ of the past would imagine being friends with the WoS characters and even used to pretend he was YJH, and that in fact the entirety of ORV was something he had continuously planned out since childhood when he wrote stats in his school notebook because it paints this picture of his daydreaming just being brutally beat down as he grows up and starts thinking about what would be really "realistic" with the kind of person that he believes himself to be... And then as that process is happening, Kim Dokja reads over and over again YJH just, at the start of every regression, picking up this annoying younger guy who's so desperate to impress him and somehow manages to get his attention while being embarrassingly chuuni and seeming to revel in the chance to kill someone... I think what you say is interesting about whether or not KNW was "right" to murder someone on the train, but honestly I don't think it matters as much whether or not he was right or wrong, just that Kim Dokja thought he was being an asshole about it, lmao. The whole thing of him killing Kim Namwoon is really interesting to me becaus it's a mix of a lot of great things. On one hand it's a big asset for the theme of a reader in the world of his favorite story because the premise of "My favorite book is real so I finally get to kill that character I've always hated," which is hilarious in its own right, gets turned into "wow I killed a 19 year old" when he's slowly starting to realize WoS characters are Real People, but it's also honestly a big piece of forshadowing for the end of orv before the epilogues and Kim Dokja's true character. Kim Namwoon's type of character is the kind that in most apocalypse stories is setting the tone of the edgey new reality, introducing the fact that people will die. He also represents the very idea of being forced into a situation where you must become a murderer or die; the jumping off point of WoS that Kim Dokja as a character fundamentally connects to. As a kid, he was forced to defend himself from his abusive father, and ultimately killed him. This is a central, scarring event of his childhood, and even though he represses and warps this memory into his mother's version of events, the concept is still something real to him and something that shapes his way of thinking. Obviously sometimes killing is necessary, but to enjoy it too much or brag about it on some level is associated with KDJ's past with his mother who wrote a book about murder and himself who once had to kill someone... It's obvious why Kim Dokja would hate a character representing this kind of narrative, that someone must be killed and because of that those involved are blameless, because Kim Dokja always pushes the blame of others' deaths onto himself... because in the world where everything is as Kim Dokja imagines and dreams it to be, KNW comes back as a spirit of vengeance to temporarily stall him on the bridge, there's an idea that KDJ deserves some retribution that he avoids to pursue his goals, which is consistent with what happens at the end right before the epilogues -

(quick digression: I've said this before and I'll say it again; I think that KDJ killing KNW is the reason that YJH tried to kill him in the beginning of ORV. KDJ dismisses it as YJH being an asshole for no reason, but I really believe that on some level YJH saw that KDJ just killed his chuuni little mentee and was like okay i want this guy to die. also getting into orv ending spoilers here ok)

-where KDJ tries to kill the kid version of himself by using disconnected film theory and stabbing himself. Like I genuinely think that KDJ avoids thinking about morality with the efficacy of "I know that I'm in the wrong, but I'm always wrong and terrible and regardless of what ever I am I have to get to the end of the story" and then after that whether or not he feels that he deserves salvation or damnation because to him the story that he loves is both...

gah, that was a tangent. I just mean that I think that part of killing KNW is Kim Dokja trying to kill a part of himself, the part of himself that dared to have the dreams that he had about the WoS characters being his family, just like he tries to kill the OD who still has those dreams... and is utterly baffled that those dreams could actually be realized in any universe. Additionally, the turn around KDJ has with KNW reminds of this in that he sees KNW in this constructive environment where he kind of just gets to be a kid and build gundams and realizes that these things that he hated about himself and KNW were just like... things that kids do. Like being chuuni about murder and the dark truth of the world is just a phase that teenagers go through sometimes just like building gundams... /hj... and like being cringey and having unrealistic ideas and desires isn't inherently malicious, like how we see KNW in the alternate dimension is just sort of a little brother character who has a crush on LJY and fools around with his mentor's stuff... It's similar to the kind of realization you want KDJ to have at the end towards himself when he sees the OD going with SP and crew to be a family lmao.

i wrote a bit lmk if i misphrased something or lost a train of thought somewhere

[thrudgelmir2333]

"No Saints in Peace Times" - The Continuity of Sanctuary in Masami Kurumada's Writing

When you ask the question "Are there Saints in Sanctuary when there is no Holy War?" are you really asking just that? This is another Reddit-inspired post. I like doing these. Sometimes people actually do ask interesting questions about the Saint Seiya franchise that I like musing on, I just don't put all my thoughts into a response there cause Reddit in general isn't the best platform for essays. I also often get the feeling that this kind of 'overthinking' is frowned upon in that site. Recently someone was very surprised that I made a pot joke in response to a post about a weirdly colored frame of a character, like they expect me to write essays about the most minute things. I can only imagine because, to a lot of people, answering questions online is about posturing and signaling allegiences and not really having human thoughts about something that interests you. Someone asked on R/SaintSeiya if there are Saints operating in Sanctuary between Holy Wars. You know, if they stick around during those 240-year-long periods when Hades is sealed up and the "cameras are off". And I think it is an interesting question because, again, it's one of those lost world-building opportunities that Kurumada just kind of let the other authors who made the spin-off mangas answer for him. At least in story-telling, you know? As opposed to when he has one of those interviews where he thoughtlessly 'expands' on his story's lore, like when he told people that "Cosmos makes you have eternal youth" or that Gold Saint Cosmos had midlochlorians (or maybe that's just some kind of trauma memory from something else just as stupid he has suggested about his own characters)

This post is sort of going to be about all of that. Get ready for it to be long btw. (don't worry, I threw in a couple of images)

Fertility in World-Building

When people have asked me why I chose to write in Saint Seiya when I have such nasty things to say about it, I always say the same thing.

It's because it's a pretty damn fertile world.

Yes, it's fertilisers comes straight out of Masami Kurumada's ass, but hey, produce is produce.

Again, you don't come up with 2.1 million words (so far) to say about it without there being something special about what Kurumada has done. However, I want to draw an important distinction between that being the merit of his work or the merit of his lack of it. It's not so much that this incredible tree of ideas has been planted in it, but more so that it covers so much fucking ground in terms of creative landscapes, that it can't help BUT be fertile.

Think about it for a second; in Saint Seiya, just conceptually, there is Greek mythology, alchemy, weird Muvian people, Shinto and Buddhist influences from Kurumada's martial artist background (one of his few helpful contributions), Japanese corporatism, mistreated orphans, bizarre technology, power suits and an overall fusion of east and west that is found in the best world-built stories like One Piece.

And this without getting to the astrology.

Right! This is so my dad, I swear!

Wait, what? But that's the same as...

I have friends that love astrology. I have friends that call themselves astrologists. Proudly, so. I myself have a bit of a fascination with it.

But holy shit, is there a bigger field for personal speculation than astrology? This topic is so abstract, based on symbolism and subject to cultural backgrounds that it is the backbone of countless conspiracy theories, religions and lores. Not to mention a synonym for that horrible news-channel commentary-segment culture that now plagues everything from sports to politics.

Which is to say you can basically make up shit about any constellation and chances are people will just accept what you say. You can take astrology and pretty much say anything you want about what it means for Mars to be shining brighter and everyone even remotely interested will take you for your word.

In writing, astrology is the perfect vehicle to create a sense of instant spiritual meaning to your characters' designs and actions. It's like salt; you add just enough of it to the pot and even the most horrible cooking will suddenly seem 'ok'.

And this is all because astrology ultimately has a paradox inherent to it; that its simultaneously the most powerful force in the universe, capable of controlling our destinies all across the distant reaches of the universe, while also being the subtlest and most imperceptible one. My chances of winning the lottery are virtually zero, but that's okay, because it's the month of my Zodiac, so my 'luck' is unusually high. I am BOUND to get something. Right? Good luck proving me wrong.

It's religious thinking. It inflames the senses and gives us a sense that there is order to the chaos, all while making itself unfalsifiable. It's no surprise Saint Seiya is especially popular in societies still culturally tied to their religious rituals, even if abstractly, like Brazil and France.

So when you combine it with all those other elements I mentioned, it makes it so that the world of Saint Seiya has this unusually high potential. You can tell stories about technology, society, struggles between genders, the battle of what beauty means and epic accounts of wars against the Gods, all in one setting. So long as you have the right creative person at the helm.

Right.

What all these elements show is that there is no mystery to Saint Seiya's success. It had all the right ingredients after all. It just needed to be stirred right by someone in the position to do so. But once you capture that initial success, then comes the time to invest on it, to see it to term.

Kurumada, the Idea

So, to answer this question, let's talk about the writer for a moment (or two). Masami Kurumada is sort of a fascinating example of a mangaka. I'm a bit obsessed with the guy. He's one of those creatives that have birthed an enrapturing world out of their minds, like Athena sprung out of Zeus' head, and then just catastrophically failed to understand its meaning, implications or potential, like George Lucas or the Wizard Lady. But Kurumada is also one of the most confounding examples of it, because, as is typical of mangakas, not much is known or understood in the West of what kind of guy he is, or even what kind of creative person. This is just a reality about understanding the people who write and draw mangakas because, not only do they live in a pretty quiet society, socially speaking, usually with their own local social medias to boot, but they themselves typically are the quieter type of people. You know, the artists and the nerds.

So on top of the interpretative ambiguity that goofy characters like George Lucas inspire, there is this added layer of fog around Kurumada, especially in the West. You can make up all sorts of shit about what he might have said or done and chances are you will have reasonable plausability to believe it, or find it a positive or negative.

As a result, if you look up Kurumada and his career, at least through English sources, you'll find that a lot of the writing done about it is by fans. And as a result, it looks unprofessional at best and hegiographic at worst. Conversation about his life in social media dedicated to Saint Seiya carries this weird casual fanboy tone to it, describing his art style in an odd, opinionated way that doesn't exactly scream objectivity.

This, I know, is because to the eyes of people unimpressed by Kurumada, he's not worth writing about, which leaves the fans a bit of a monopoly in the practice of documenting the guy.

Why, just relatively recently, someone circulated a story on R/SaintSeiya that Kurumada not only got into a lot of fights, but pretty much badgered his way into Shueisha to get him his job. The post paints it as an act of badassery, like Kurumada was this confident guy who refused to accept that he got the boot from destiny, much like Seiya and many of his other protagonists when they affront their gods with their heroic defiance. The story is based on a blogpost celebrating Kurumada's 50th birthday with a thorough account of his life that is arguably better than anything in wikipedia, but still very flattering (more on that below) Here's the source paragraph for the Reddit thread's statements:

A sober account of events

You could read this very normal account as the story of Kurumada imposing himself into the mangaka industry with his sheer chadness, as the Redditer did.

OR, you could read it more as an editor feeling sorry for a very passionate artist and giving him a starting shot at the studio. Something he didn't even earn, if the aforementioned contest results are to be believed. Which is far more realistic, but less flattering to the 'idea of Kurumada'.

Ah, the ancient times! When animators could just force their way into animation and comic book studios, sleep at their desks and just be allowed to keep working for these companies! Or accost Walt Disney in the street and demand a job after shoving your dossier of animations in their faces. Or in Kurumada's case, 'showing your gumption'.

This is why you should always be very careful reading accounts of people's lives, especially in 'commemorative' pieces, and especially if they're done by fans. These things are usually more akin to publicity stunts than they are to legitimate documentation. More often than not they are vague and inform their tone with their pre-existing intentions.

However, this sort of lame deitification isn't limited to random social media posts. Here's an example talking about the way Kurumada draws from Wikipedia, the wiki everyone can edit. And yes, this was actually written in a site that is supposed to be about objective documentation:

Transcript of Kurumada Fanboying, found in the Wiki everyone can edit.

I want to make clear that despite my cynicism, whoever edited this page obviously had good intentions in mind. I'm sure they are wonderful people. It takes gumption to volunteer to do this sort of stuff, to borrow a term.

But this is just shit wiki work. I don't need to tell you that describing someone's artstyle as "sometimes can seem rough, but his improvement can be seen when comparing old works to new" isn't so much an objective description of the facts, but more so a subjective, insecure evaluation from someone clearly acting as a lawyer to Kurumada's work. On what's supposed to be the world's biggest online reference book. Hence the "citation needed". And some wonder why the franchise's wikis are equally filled with personal commentary on the show and its characters. People don't just put those up to annoy rival wikipedia editors, it's to point out they've done a shit research compilation in what's supposed to be a reliable source of information about someone. And discussion about Kurumada, not just his wikipedia page, is usually riddled with hegiographic tones, where he's described as someone "who has influenced the greatest names in manga today" or "once competed with the greatest". But it doesn't end there.

Seen above; paragraph of barely-conceiled speculation in Wikipedia, the wiki anyone can edit

I don't know about you, but half this stuff feels like a loose collection of 'impressions' of what's going on, based on uncited sources and a wonky timeline of events. It sounds less like a careful description of events, and more of an opinionated online article about the rise and fall of an industry artist's works.

This is, again, because a lot of the talking about Kurumada in the West is done by the fans of the height of his career. You're not going to find the name of a man born in the 50s who drew cartoons in the 70s and 80s in the mouths of people who acquired their taste in media in the 2000s. And that's okay. But if you care so much about it, you know, do a bit of a better job filtering what's factual from what isn't. It's not that hard!

Cause otherwise you get weirdos on Reddit who legitimately think that the only reason Saint Seiya isn't more successful is because 'It got screwed by the network' or that Kurumada is some kind of chad for basically pulling ahead of a bunch of other artists that did better work than he did. And then whine about why he can't compete in people's minds with Dragon Ball.

Usually, if you want accurate, unbiased information on what kind of guy Kurumada is, you need to go straight to the source; the man himself. Funnily enough, the only stuff you can find cited in Wikipedia about Kurumada is stuff describing things he's said in interviews or statements about organisations he's worked under, etc

Now, Kurumada is an award-winning mangaka. There's no doubt about his success and impact. Most of us will never seen even one percent of the triumph in life he has acquired, and that means something. The guy is referenced throughout anime, his characters have been used as templates for other great mangakas works (see my post about how Ikki may have influenced characters like Byakuya in Bleach) and many have cited him as an inspiration for their own careers in art, from mangas to cinema.

Poster Kurumada has made for the 2010 Movie "Clash of the Titans". Kurumada was contacted by Warner Brothers at the time to collaborate with Louis Leterrier's movie remake. Louis himself has stated Kurumada was an influence in his work

I mean, you don't get at least 4 other mangakas to write stories set in your world if you don't have some kind of talent, right? Look at all the people whose minds Kurumada has impacted! Perhaps the hegiographic descriptions are a bit much, but there's a root to why they are written?

This world that Kurumada has conceived must be wonderful to delve into, if it has seen so much success and praise. Surely when we dive into the matter, we will find depthful characters, a personal story of a hero Kurumada wanted to talk about and a setting where characters have multiple dimensions to them? We will surely find an answer to "Are there Saints in Sanctuary when there's no Holy War?"

Yeah...

Well, it's complicated.

The Writing of Kurumada

For those of you who don't know me very well, I write.

I'm not saying that as some kind of statement as to why my opinion is more valid, just to explain why this topic might be important to me.

I'm also not saying that I love writing. As someone once said:

So wise. Someone should put this in hyeroglyphs or something, seriously.

So what do I care about writing if I hate it? Well, this is because there is a difference between you loving something, and something being important to you. You can revolve your life about something that is important to you and still... ----ing... hate doing it. And how limited it is to conveying your thoughts and feelings.

That being said, it does put me in the weird position where I don't really respect any kind of laziness in writing and world-building, because if I was able to spend the last decade of my life writing 2.1 Million words for a franchise I don't even respect,... then someone else not even bothering to do proper world-building and yet being in some kind of position of authority over commenting on it does drive me a bit up the wall.

And, twist, Kurumada's 'world building' drives me up the fucking Wailing Wall. I can see Elysium from how high he drives me.

And no, I don't mean just the recent stuff.

On that topic, for those of you who don't know, Masami Kurumada, in the style of such respectable peers as George Lucas and the Wizard Lady, has spent the last 20-30 years of his life simultaneously not giving a shit about their Magnum Opus and interfering with it in the dumbest ways possible. From revealing that Saga has always just secretly been a "Force Baby" in the same manner as Anakin Skywalker, to stating that the reason Shion lives so long is because "Cosmos is just that convenient that it gives you a long life", Kuru seems to be on a mission to ruin the depth of his world with these milktoast, pandering concepts.

In my opinion, however, the problem stems from much further back, right to the early days of Saint Seiya. Could the signs of his lack-of-shit-given be there from the start? Let's investigate.

And what better place to start than the 50th anniversary account that the earlier Reddit post mentioned? It was so thorough, after all. And it's bound to portray him in a positive light.

Oh.

So the whole thing was an act of spite?

Don't worry, it gets worse.

Uh-uh... okay...

Wait, lol, what?

So... he just recycled a bunch of his own old ideas together?

It shouldn't? Why not?! lol

OH, so it's not laziness, because the people he's selling these old ideas to haven't read them in his other works??? W O W

So, what you could conclude from this, and allow me to influence your conclusion with my own (just like the commemorative piece above tried to), is that Saint Seiya wasn't conceived because Kurumada wanted to tell a story with rich characters that evolve in a dephful world.

It's because he was MAD his previous ideas didn't work with the public and so he manufactured them all into a friendlier, lazier package. One that he could sell to this dumb-fuck public that didn't like his stories.

And he made his whole success out of it.

Yes, this is the origin of Saint Seiya and its writing. The foundational spirit of the story millions of people love to this day (and that I spent half my life obsessing over). A guy sitting at his desk, conceiving characters for a mangaka he didn't want to make, all to chase an idea of success after basically giving up on his personal projects.

If you're the type, like me, that occasionaly peruses the fandom for stuff to talk about, do me a favor; from now on, if you ever see someone whine on the internet about why Saint Seiya can't compete with modern storytelling, just show them these wonderful nuggets. Show them how petty and selfish the foundational spirit of this tale was, how Kurumada didn't even make personal decisions on who should win the galaxian tournament rounds. How he left it to reader surveys, because to him, it didn't matter who won, so long as it was the most popular choice.

There was never any message, any curiosity about this world he was creating, any interest in exploring or discovering things in it. It was just a sad, spiteful, last-ditch attempt at success by a mangaka that didnt even earn his spot at Shueisha being gradually pushed out of the market to make it big during an era of relatively low creative competition.

Kurumada: "Oh, they want trash?! I'll give them trash!! I'll give them all the trash they wa- Oh, it's selling how much? I mean, this is a rich world, filled with wonderful characters! Like Saga! Btw, did you know Saga came from space?"

If you're wondering why this franchise has landed in the hands of people who don't care about anything but selling merch, this is it. It's because even the supposed guardian of the story's integrity didn't give a damn. And the worst part of it is that most of the sources detailing all of this treat it like an inspiring story. Because to them, it doesn't mean anything, because Saint Seiya's narrative value, it's depth in writing, is already decided upon by a combination of its success, nostalgia and how shiny the armors look.

Okay, Thrud, what does this have to do with anything? "Are there Saints in Sanctuary when there's no Holy War?" or not?

Don't rush me! I'm getting to it!

The Price for lack of vision

Hopefully now you understand why I started this post with two sections basically dumping on Kurumada's whole career. It's to make the point that he's far, far, far from being the right person to fully capitalise on these successful elements Saint Seiya has in its soup in the long term. Kurumada is a jock that happens to know how to draw, and the anime injected enough catholic fantasy into their adaptation to ensure Latin America would always be a viable market. Masami didn't even have enough confidence in Saint Seiya to pick by his own vision which characters should advance in the story during the first arc of his epic tale!

So imagine trusting someone like that to write compelling, rich story arcs.

Or understand the differences between Dante's Inferno and the Greek myths of hell, or how they collide in storytelling.

Or taking a comment about how Shun is an LGBT symbol without doing something spiteful in return, like giving him a two-chapter girlfriend named after the interviewer's magazine?

Or imagining what Sanctuary is like for its characters when there isn't a Holy War going on?

And speaking of characters, to pull another Reddit post that annoyed me (mostly from how utterly dumb and caveman-spirited it is), some meme-manufacturing dummy only interested in farming karma made the shallow comparison that Shiori's Lost Canvas Gold Saint characters would be a good replacement for Kurumada's characters in his story.

Moments like this make me wish I was Palpatine falling down the well.

There's a lot wrong with this suggestion of swapping the Sanctuary Arc's characters with Lost Canvas, the worst being that Deathmask, of all the characters in Sanctuary Arc, should be replaced by Manigoldo. I'm not going to go in-depth about how terribly that would work, but I just want to show how the person who made the meme is signalling to a culture of people who thinks the quality of characters is measured not by their utility and effectiveness to story arcs, but by weather or not they are 'badass'. In their minds, all Manigoldo really has over Deathmask is that A) he was an antagonist instead of a villain and B) he briefly fought Thanatos, the Death God (and lost). And that's enough for them to be a 'better character'.

But while the post is just something the author thoughtlessly created for the purpose of making a number of community approval go up, it also points towards the fact that there is a generalised insatisfaction in a lot of Saint Seiya fans about its characters. I would posit that a lot of the reason so many gravitate to Lost Canvas (even though Saintia Sho is better imo) as a comparison of "Saint Seiya being done well" is because it was the first to show that Saint Seiya could be capitalised on to create a story a bit more character-driven.

Which is to say Lost Canvas isn't great, just that it's better than what we had at that point.

The truth is, people are passionate about Saint Seiya and they want to see its potential realised, even if for silly, Dragon-Ball-fans-dunked-on-me ways. They want to see their enjoyment of it validated, elevated to cultural relevance. Some of my most popular posts online about Saint Seiya are posts that... accidentally make Saint Seiya seem smarter than it is.

So, when you ask the question "Are there Saints in Sanctuary when there's no Holy War?" are you really asking just that?

Writing-in-Depth

That's a warfare pun.

See, defense-in-depth was a style of battle ordering where you deliberately arranged the outer layers of your army to be weak, so as to lure your enemy to attack deeply into your center, allowing you to surround them from your stronger positions and....

Oh, whatever. You don't care about that.

When people talk about 'hidden depths' in a character, usually they refer to discovering that a seemingly superficial character actually has a compelling motive for their seemingly superficial actions. You observe a character, see them doing something strange routinely, don't pay any attention to it, and then you discover its because someone once told them it made their spouse smile, or something. My favorite example is Senor Pink, from One Piece.

Senor Pink in his natural state, surrounded by fangirls

Senor Pink is a wild character. He dresses like a baby, has a baby suckler, wears sunglasses, works for one of the most ruthless villains in all of One Piece and has a Devil Fruit that lets him swim through land. And he's 100% serious about all of those things. This is not a gag he's pulling. This dude is dedicated to this shtick and god help you if you laugh at it.

He's also one of the most surprising and beloved side characters in all of One Piece, a story celebrated for its character twists and turns.

I'd advise you to read up on him, but not only is the picture above worth a thousand words, but you'd risk spoiling yourself a pretty neat surprise about why Senor Pink is the way he is. I will offer a hint in the image below, though.

One of the few female characters in One Piece that doesn't totally look like either Nami or Robin

The Senor Pink backstory was a pleasant surprise to a lot of people. Many already liked him for his outrageous design and attitude to his job, but it was also unexpected that such a touching story would be told about a guy inserted into one of the most villainous crews in One Piece. All his coworkers and friends are sadists, liars, manipulators, murderers, torturers, bullies and tyrants, but Senor Pink transcended his context as a character and showed a depth no one expected in him, to the point it was almost surprising a guy like him still worked for Donquixote Doflamingo.

This doesn't mean that in order to have depth in your characters you need to trick your audience. It just means that you have to show they are about something a little bit more than just their names and their jobs. We, the audience, assumed limitations on Senor Pink based on superficial context, and then discovered he had the depths of a human being worried about daily life, loved ones and loved things.

That, in turn, helps paint a grander picture that we could potentially expect that out of any character in One Piece, even the most unassuming ones. Eichiro Oda demonstrated that there is no reason to think there haven't been 1000 Senor Pinks throughout the story. Through the depth of its characters, the world building is given depth. Meanwhile;

Saint Seiya characters in the wild, doing their mating call

You wanna know what they're weeping so hard about? You really wanna know? They're crying that they have to go kill Athena during the Hades Arc. See, Hades ressurrected them and... it's a long story okay? What matters is that they are invading Sanctuary as Specters, hereby becoming traitors to their honor as Gold Saints. The honor of their jobs.

They don't even know Saori that well, btw. That guy on the right? His name is Camus. He's never even MET Saori. He doesn't know what she's like, or the speeches of motivation she's given or even who her favorite boy to whip is (Saint Seiya joke, Im sorry if you don't get it).

He just knows she is Athena. So he cries. Which is to say Camus cries because he's a Gold Saint and so he's supposed to. Not because Saori means something special to him personally. Camus has never stated anything about himself that indicates he gives two shits about anything other than moralising Hyoga for...

...for crying about his mom? Wait, what? Isn't that sort of what he's doing here?

Wait, what's going on here?! Why is Kurumada's writing like this?!

This, my friends, is where we get to the point of this Thrumblr post.

Are there Saints in Sanctuary during Peace?

So, "are there Saints in Sanctuary outside of Holy Wars?"

What I believe the reddit poster was asking, in a small way, was if there is a world beyond what we are shown in the cartoon that Kurumada has envisioned? Does the writing of Saint Seiya, or even of its spin offs, thread towards an unseen dimension, a hidden world-building depth, that we can all be confident in?

Does the story of these characters continue once the curtain closes on Saga's reign, or Julian Solo's rampage? Or does it all blink into the next conflict?

This question speaks to matters of temporal permanence of ideas in a story, of course, of consistency. In a way it's a test to wether or not its worth looking into the story a bit deeper for greater meaning, or a personal message from the author. Is the story smarter than it looks? Does this imaginary world keep on spinning after the camera cuts to black? I'm afraid to say, no. It doesn't.

Not in the minds of its writers anyway.

Obviously there is continuity the technical way, because it makes sense to be, but it doesn't exist in any imagined or thought-out sense, which is the most important. It all just passes by like Harry Potter's summers at the Dursleys.

This is because the world of Saint Seiya doesn't know what its characters are other than action pieces IN holy wars. They are power rangers, going from episode to episode, battle to battle, uninterrupted. While the occasional moment of break exists, there is no 'living' in piece. We aren't shown what these characters are or what lives they've lived when they're not, because they were imagined by someone who never intended to 'create a world'.

Tragically, even Shiryu, the best character in the franchise, only has a simple farmer life with Shunrei in rural china to look forward to. Not that we're shown a whole lot of it, of course. This, obviously, before he gets called back to do his duty.

Go to her, Shiryu! Go to "Sunrei", whoever she is! Leave this shit-show behind!

In One Piece, we can imagine what happens in the entire world while Luffy and his crew battle Kaido in Wano for a year. We picture gears turning and characters moving because, countless times, Oda, who is passionate about his world, has shown us in side stories and catch-up chapters what they have been up to, and the impact it all had in the main characters without them even realising it. Meanwhile, Kurumada had an entire storyline of Shun being Hades' vessel and ikki failing to rescue him, and neither character got to exchange a serious conversation of confrontation later when met with Hades personally. It's like it didn't even matter to them, or that it didn't happen, because the whole thing was just a temporary fancy in the author's head.

There's no continuity to things, no permanence of objects. Things happen, but they then don't continue or matter. Characters rise and fall like the passing of the tides, barely making a dent in our memory.

At the end of every arc, when Saori and her Saints pose to the camera and it all fades to black, the world ceases to, indeed, exist. Sanctuary dies. It disappears from the imagination and lives no life until the curtains reopen. An absent of war in the characters lives means an absence of meaning, of pertinence, of life and character and depth.

There are no Saints in peace times.

Thrudgelmir2333

Post Scriptum

Now, there could come the day that someone could pose this question to Kurumada. "Kurumada-sensei, are there Saints in Sanctuary between Holy Wars?"

You can already imagine what the answer might be. "Why, yes, of course, and they also hold wrestling tournaments in the style of the greco-romans. Also, have I mentioned that Gold Saints are pre-destined to become so and Aiolia was struck by a Thunderbolt of Zeus when he was a child? What? No, I don't remember who June is."

[offscreendeath]

I sincerely hope this project isn't another hollow reboot and actually manages to stand on its own as a piece of media. its been 26 years (holy shit) since the last film and a lot has changed in Hollywood since then.

Toys and action figures have largely been replaced by video games as they've gotten more accessible and impressive in terms of variety and quality. AI is now less of a concept relegated to the distant future and is increasingly taking prominence in daily life.

The film industry as we know it has been impacted by things like COVID and the writer's strike. All this taken into account, it would seem ridiculous to me for this film to retread old territory and simply copy the plot and themes of the original film. It isn't like there's a massive Small Soldiers fandom who would revolt if the original cast didn't return to reprise their roles. That leaves a lot of potential to make something fresh.

What I would like to see is perhaps less focus on the humans, or better yet basically none, with them only entering the story to provide bits of exposition or as comic relief. It would be entertaining to watch bystanders react to being suddenly put right in the middle of a toy war and freaking out.

This could also be an opportunity to do what Toy Story did later in the series, examining the different and conflicting philosophy of duty and destiny, but through the lens of warfare and capitalism. After all, these toys are mass produced products, and they are literal soldiers. This doesn't mean there can't be funny, cool moments, but it can't hurt to have some kind of emotional anchor or underlying thematic concepts to give it more depth and complexity.

I mean, even the short scene where the two (presumably) main characters are facing each other through the glass hints at some shared history or tension that is ripe for exploration. What does a character arc look like for these two? How can our expectations be subverted?

Another thing is, and this might be controversial: no, or very few callbacks to the first movie. If they must, I'd rather they be easter eggs subtly and carefully placed throughout, not constant and obvious, or worked into the plot to get us to go "SEE? omg, remember THIS???" Like, yeah, we know. What else you got?

Lasty, I would appreciate a greater scope in terms of setpieces and location. The last film's setting was fairly localized to one neighborhood, which made sense for that story. Where else could they go? A skate park? Sewers? A cornfield maze? Can they livestream on Twitch? Hack into (and fight on top of,) a drone, or a tesla? Just go crazy with it.

Small Soldiers was one of my favorite movies growing up largely because I was a fan of Toy Tory as a child and this was largely billed as an edgier, more "grown up" version of it. But apart from the edge it honestly lacked a lot of substance. There wasn't much going for it outside of 90s nostalgia that really makes it worth revisiting.

But we have so much of that already, as millenials and elder millenials are becoming the target demographic for media since we're now at the age where a lot of us have kids and careers and are desperate for familiar images and memories to throw money at. I hope this isn't another dumb uninspired cash grab but maybe that's askin for too much.

Guess we'll see.

[chellyfishing]

ho ho holy shit it’s the end of the year and that means it’s time for you guessed it my reading year in review.

instead of “read more than last year” my goal this year was “read at least one non-fiction book” and not only did i do that, not only did i read FOUR of them, i still also read more than last year!

(btw i am on storygraph if any of you are also on storygraph)

in january i read that there uh locked tomb series by tamsyn muir. thinking that it was a trilogy and then finding out no i actually have to suffer like the peasants for the conclusion. anyway it was fine and definitely hasn’t taken up at least 40% of my brain at all times ever since. it’s a very normal series i had a normal reaction to and you should read it, it’ll be fine.

i also read volumes 7 and 8 of spy x family by endo tatsuya. 7 is around where the anime stops and i watched it at the end of last year so. i finally just picked up 9 and 10 but i’m saving them as treat for surviving to the new year. anyway it’s good. i generally avoid graphic formats because my brain is just not good at processing images properly, especially when it’s all in black and white, but this was pretty easy for me to read. it’s a good time, recommend.

in february i read witchlings by claribel ortega. this is a middle grade book so the depth and style aren’t exactly for me, but it was very very cute and fun, with a diverse and lovable cast, and i would definitely recommend this to kids age idk 7-ish to 12-ish. that genre of child. a good magical book series to read instead of. you know. i’d be interested to continue the series as well, i think especially if ortega has the books mature with the readership she could really have something special here.

confession i really like to listen to people tell me stories (horrorbabble my beloved) and since i finally got a new library card this year (two actually now!) i can just get audiobooks and listen to them whenever i want. so in april first i listened to we have always lived in the castle by shirley jackson, which as you may or may not know is one of my favorite books of all time. i wanted to experience the story again and i didn’t want to just watch the film (it’s fine, honestly, it just lacks a lot of what i find really captivating about the book) so i put this on while i was doing other things. great book, great author, and i have no complaints whatsoever with the audiobook performance.

i also listened to james and the giant peach. this is my favorite roald dahl book and the audiobook is only about three hours. the narrator had incredible energy, exactly what you’d want from someone reading a children’s book.

in june i read the first nonfiction book, sex ed by ruby rare. this is a very accessible and inclusive book about… no. i shan’t say. everything is spoken about in frank terms and rare has a very personable voice and style. it’s also illustrated!

my next nonfiction book was in august, when i finally got to read i’m glad my mom died by jennette mccurdy. you probably don’t need me to tell you that this book is SO!! GOOD!! an incredible and important piece of art. jennette is so heartbreakingly honest and real here. i spent the whole book just wanting this child, then woman, to be okay. i am so happy she has turned the page on a new chapter in her life and has been able both to follow her real dreams of writing and gain some catharsis in the process. trigger warnings especially for abuse, including sexual abuse, including to a child, including by a parent, and eating disorders. she does not shy away from the ugliness of her experiences so please be prepared for that. it is very heavy at points.

after i finished that book i was just skimming through libby even though i already own [redacted] unread books and anyway on a whim i picked up a book called a door in the dark by scott reintgen. i decided to give it a shot because the main complaints were slow first half (that’s fine) and “unlikeable main character” (a woman with questionable morality). it was pretty good! the high point for me was the main character, in fact. i don’t really want to spoil anything so i won’t go into details but it definitely toys with your expectations in ways i appreciate. looking forward to more in the series!

i finished out august with they were here before us by eric larocca. this is only my second book by larocca (you’ve lost a lot of blood was my last book of 2022) but honestly i already knew i would read anything by them. this book is kind of a collection of short stories but they all have a theme that ties them together and are meant to be read in order. i love his prose, I love his weird imagination and imagery. this is exactly the kind of “unsettling and weird” that i will eat up. easily a new favorite author of mine. (their books are not for everyone, i hasten to add. they are very much for certain tastes. warnings in this book for some mild body horror as well as animal and child death.)

oh just kidding i forgot i read two books that day. the real last book i read in august was after they came by tom kavanagh. it is not a plot twist that this is a story about someone (a teenage girl specifically) living with paranoid schizophrenia, which i believe kavanagh also has. it’s clear this is a very personal story to him, and the horror comes not from the delusions or behavior this girl is having but from knowing she is trapped in them, scared and effectively alone. it’s very heartfelt.

in september i read a couple of shorter works. the first one was “undercover” by tamsyn muir, which is part of amazon’s “into shadow” series of short horror stories. being only about sixty pages this is nowhere near the ballpark of locked tomb’s twisting density but it still really draws you in. it’s a good time.

the other was the novella sour candy by kealan burke patrick. let me start off by saying! this is a grim one. there’s no real catharsis here. it’s just down, down, oh look we can go even further down. i guess it’s not my preferred type of horror, but it was still a good read.

in september i also read a full-length novel, sawkill girls by claire legrand. this is unfortunately my “worst book” of the year but even then it’s completely relative, most of the rest of my reading was bangers. i guess it’s not really what i was hoping it would be. it went places i thought were a bit… idk. i don’t want to say silly, exactly, but it didn’t quite work for me. i think that’s it really, it just wasn’t what i wanted, and what it was wasn’t really for me. important tho: there is sapphic rep and ace rep in here, asexuality in particular being addressed by name, so if you want more of those things, you could do a lot worse than this.

my third nonfiction read was in november and it was the woman in me by britney spears. i decided to crack this open and hopefully read it over the last couple days before my library hold ran out and i ended up devouring it in one sitting instead. like the other memoir on this list, this is a tough read. you will get angry, you will get furious, you will get sad. most people do not come out of this looking good at all and i am so glad brit and her ghostwriter decided to pull no punches. again check the trigger warnings, there’s a lot of abuse of a person with mental illness here, including forced institutionalization and of course the extremely unethical conservatorship. there’s also discussion of an abortion that was difficult and not especially wanted. i’m so so so so glad that she is free to live her life and speak her truth and i hope she gets to live happily with her boys and her man forever.

another book i read in one sitting was exit, pursued by a bear by ek johnston. i found this awhile back when i was looking for modern shakespeare retellings, specifically for one of a midsummer night’s dream, though as you can probably guess from the title this is actually inspired by the winter’s tale. so, there’s no getting around that this book is about sexual assault. it’s very blunt and frank about it, though the assault is not described, only the events leading up and the aftermath. weirdly, i would describe this as something of a slice of life more than a “message” book. this is the story of a seventeen-year-old girl getting on with her life after being drugged and raped. it’s primarily about her recovery especially through her relationships with friends, family, and others. it contains episodes of her triggers (the song that was playing just before she blacked out being a big one) but is primarily about her fighting desperately with everything she has not to let it dictate her life. warnings aside from sexual assault include discussions of forced pregnancy and abortion.

so, i’ve been wanting to read katzenjammer by francesca zappia for quite awhile now, but the price will not drop and the library down the street doesn’t have it. but then i got a card at another branch and voilà! let me warn you now that this is a sad book. it does not have a happy ending. i was warned it was sad going in and i was still not prepared to be absolutely gutted on a spit by it. i figured out what was going on about a fifth of the way from the end and just. cried from that point on. bawled my eyes out. might cry again now. so good, for the record, zappia has an undeniable way with prose and imagery, and there are sketched drawings throughout to shape her vision. i cannot give proper content warnings without dropping a major spoiler, so it will be up to you to decide how you need to approach this book if you want to. i will say that it is NOT sexual assault, though there is quite a bit of bullying that at points can feel a bit threatening in that regard, if that makes sense. i recommend it if idk you have tastes similar to mine (again, i did love it) and are willing to just be really fucking sad for a few hours.

i got a couple more library books in december. the first was my fourth and final nonfiction book of the year, another memoir, counting the cost, by jill duggar (dillard), her husband derick, and a credited professional writer, craig borlase. i have way too many words that i feel should be said about this book for one bullet point. i think it’s important to remember that jill and derick are still conservatives with some toxic and very harmful values, but jill has done incredible work deconstructing and derick has been a phenomenal husband to her. this book feels… unfinished though. it’s clear there’s still a lot that jill has not come to terms with. i hope that she can continue to grow and find peace. and i hope that others who are escaping fundamentalism can feel seen by this.

i took a break from my other library book (below) bc i just really wanted something i knew would be light and fun and easy to read, so i turned to ship wrecked by olivia dade. this is the third book in a series, the first two of which (spoiler alert and all the feels) i read last year. each one is about a couple with one (or two in this case) actors from a fictional show that is… i mean it’s game of thrones but make it greek myth. she doesn’t even try to hide it, it’s game of thrones. the thing that drew me to the series, aside from the fact that it just sounded like fun, is that all the main ladies (and in this case the man as well) are fat. as for this book, i think it’s probably my least favorite of the three. the fmc maria is pretty great but the mmc peter is easily my least favorite of the three male leads. dade doesn’t write toxic men, let me add, and all three books are dual pov so you really get to know both characters, but he just wasn’t it for me. i wish that the other characters got more screen time, especially since the books are not that short, but dade prefers to really dig into the psyches of her leads, unpacking their baggage and traumas to build healthy relationships, and i do appreciate that. downside is that there is not much diversity, other than her three ladies are each different kinds of fat (and don’t get me wrong, i love that and want to see more of it). this book has a lot of background queerness though so that was nice to see. i wonder if she intends to write a book about the wlw couple from the show, but i don’t know since afaik neither of those ladies are plus size. i’d read it, or really anything else she decides to do with this world.

the other library book i read from this batch was leech by hiron ennes. people describe this as a weird book but honestly if anything it could have been weirder. i went in without knowing a thing about it besides, like, taz blurbed it shut UP i doNOT HAVE a proBLEM. quick sketch this takes place in a very post-apocalyptic world and is about a doctor going to a remote isolated northern region during winter. yep, that’s all that it’s about. content warnings for body horror, both of the icky kind and the psychological kind, miscarriages, infant/child death, violence, and discussions of grooming and sexual abuse. it’s not really about those things (except the body horror) and when it comes up it’s generally less than a page at a time, but like. it’s all there and you should be careful. i would say it’s more about identity and autonomy and what it costs to break free. and body horror.

i read the burglar in the closet by lawrence block. i came across this book because one of my booktubers put it on his best of 2023 list and it sounded fun. and it was! it’s actually from 1978 and the second book in a series but i didn’t read the first book and was fine. there’s quite a bit of sexism but the amount and the framing of it didn’t make it impossible to enjoy this book. the narrator has such a strong voice and there are some genuine laughs to be had. plus, the ending surprised me! it was well-crafted! it’s a quick read and i’m pleased i took a little detour through it.

and the last book i’ll probably finish in 2023 (who knows!) is maeve fly by cj leede. i literally just now finished it and have to sit with it before i give it a proper rating and all that. there were times i wasn’t sure how i felt about this book. the narrator has such strong nlog edgelord energy but in her defense, she is literally a serial killer (i don’t think this is a spoiler tho it does take her a minute to say on page that she has killed). there are a lot of lines that had me rolling my eyes a bit, mostly because they were always the lines that were marked as frequently highlighted, like yeah, predictable. but there are also a lot of moments of genuinely beautiful prose, and a kind of macabre humor over it all. things really go off the rails in the last 20-25% or so but that was definitely my favorite part. technically i’ve seen this book classed as on the milder end of extreme horror, basically just be aware that there is a lot of very, very graphic violence. but the thing is, i read this book primarily as a metaphor, tho i’m not sure how much the author meant it as one. the ending makes me think perhaps she did. and honestly, framing it that way, maeve is actually… painfully relatable. why do i feel like i just got put on a watchlist somewhere. uhh, i could go on about it a lot, but you don’t care, you don’t intend to read this book. plus it’s more important that i mention that this book takes place in los angeles, except the parts that are in anaheim, because maeve plays princess E— at D— (never named but not at all obfuscated). the author does treat anaheim like it’s part of LA and i KNOW I KNOW it doesn’t matter TO YOU but the main thing i kept thinking was, wow i bet that commute is a bitch. i actually really liked the D— stuff because it’s all a bit inside baseball, employees and anaheim residents will capital K Know. there were also some really great descriptions of LA, and it just was nice to read someone put to words what the actual appeal of living around here is. it’s difficult to explain because people always come in with so many preconceived notions. as mandy moore put it, it’s a city of open doors. (lmao i just saw grady hendrix blurbed this as “anaheim psycho.” chef’s kiss.)

anyway i could easily finish something else if i set my mind to it but i kinda wanna maybe crack into something a bit longer. those last two were both under 300 pages, and even leech is not that much over it. or maybe i’ll just let myself disappear into bg3 until the new year.

[alizjay]

When I am taught that I'm a piece of shit almost everywhere I go.

I'm not allowed to make mistakes or God the Father will know.

And even though the holy book says that I'll be white as snow…

The people teaching Sunday school are always putting me down low.

So even though the preacher meant to lead me to the Lord

Is the bad guy living in my house who yells when I say, “I'm bored.”

He's so unapproachable and makes me feel afraid.

So I spend a few months plotting how to convince him that I'm good…

And worthy to be part of his church despite not acting like I should.

The plan has a little hiccup but it actually succeeds.

The man of God agrees to baptize me in the creek.

Maybe now his family will accept me as their own,

And that when I get home later I will stop feeling so alone!

But all the next year brought me was excruciating pain.

I considered leaving town and running away despite the rain.

And the Sunday school teachers that taught me the word of God told me that I hadn't changed at all

Because real Christians can't feel sad all the time. They had no care for the dying I saw.

So through the next few years, I perfected the fine art

Of pretending my poor self image was just pure holiness on my part.

They reinforced my brokenness and lack of identity

With beautiful Christian virtue. They said, “Wow girl. You're so holy!

“We molded you so well, girl. We really love you so so much.”

Umm…really Sunday school teachers? When I was younger, you told me that my sin was way too much!!

Do they really actually love me or just the character I play?

Ya know, the girl who's always smiling while I teacher children how to pray?

Well I know the bad guy never really loved me from the start

Because from 1988, he abused me til I started to play the part.

So fast forward several years and I've realized his church is just a sham

And the beliefs that I inherited were just a manipulative scam!

Bit the habits that were formed when I was trying to survive,

Of self-hate & isolation worked well in keeping me safe and alive.

And I never realized til recently that I'm not in danger anymore

And it's okay to love myself and stop hating the face in the mirror.

Will I ever recover well enough to completely be free

Of these habits of self-hate and isolation? I feel like they're a part of me!!

Who the hell am I now? How do I even begin to feel happy?

Or love myself without feeling that fear that came from my mean daddy?

I feel so fucking hopeless!!

[my-name-is-jefferooni]

Reflection

I AM ON A GODDAMN ROLL TODAY HOLY SHIT OKAY UHMMM

This is a short little Drabble I just came up with in this moment, inspired by my latest character analysis reblog. You don’t have to read that honestly, because it is VERY VERY LONG, but if you want then you can! idk I mean I kinda like it so…

Anywhizzle, this drabble is basically just Sonic angst. Takes place in the IDW universe some time after the Metal Virus, maybe in my own au, it fits in both so it doesn’t matter. Sorry for stalling, and here it is:

———

Sonic doesn’t look in mirrors very often. Usually when he wants to fix up his appearance or if he just wants to know what he looks like, he’ll just head on down to the nearest pond and watch as his face wobbles along with the waves. It’s not much, and he does have to admit that more stable surfaces are better than water, but it’s just how he does things. Like the saying suggests, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!”

This was the first time in a while he actually saw his reflection at all, actually. He was hanging out with Cream and Vanilla, helping the younger rabbit with her writing. Honestly, his writing looked way worse than hers, but nobody ever said anything so he never mentioned it. And when Vanilla came outside with a metal tray full of cookies, obviously the two of them cleaned off the whole dang thing! All that was left were a few measly crumbs and that was it!

Or… No, wait, there was something else, too. Something… Odd. Something blue in color and with splotches of peach as well, something spiky sticking out from the back of the head…

Oh. That was him. Sonic the Hedgehog.

… Right…?

The strange image confused the young hedgehog. The odd reflection in the tray didn’t look anything at all like him! It was more like a blue blob, or an imposter of some kind, taunting him. It grinned wide and maliciously, staring at Sonic with empty eyes. The sight almost made the hedgehog jump out of his seat in surprise! He kept himself from doing so, then politely excused himself from the table, in search of an actual mirror. Because, yeah, that totally wasn’t Sonic! That blue ball of nothing wasn’t him at all! It was just a trick of the light, a fantasy in his head, the texture of the tray! That was it, surely! No scary blobs in sight!

He entered the small bathroom down the hall and looked into the mirror.

Something else looked right back.

A dark blue hedgehog, probably about three feet tall, with pointed ears and scruffy quills that stuck out every which way. The eyes looked dull, nothing indicating any sense of life, with only a dark green iris and a pure black pupil in each one. The fur on the forehead was matted and ugly, stains of all kinds replacing the original blue coloring. The muzzle was far too long for it to be natural, the nose on its end practically touching the mirror! Speaking of which, the nose was completely black, no wet shimmering in sight, indicating a clear lack of proper health. Dark circles lay dormant underneath the eyes, showing how utterly exhausted and gone this strange creature truly was.

But that… That wasn’t Sonic, was it? He wasn’t halfway to death’s door, was he? Sonic the Hedgehog was a world-renowned hero! A figurehead in practically every community! Everyone on Mobius knows of him, everyone looks up to him, everyone loves him! He’s got everything he could’ve ever wanted and more! Friends, a mismatched family, a life, freedom, peace and quiet…

Did he? Yeah, of course he had all that! He’s literally Sonic the Hedgehog! No one has a better life than him! Who else has the ability to go out into the world and be as free as the wind? Who else gets the chance to kick some angry fatso in the head with his own machinery? Who else gets to keep running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and ru

Sonic stands there, staring at his reflection. It IS his reflection, isn’t it? He is tired, still trying to properly recover from the Metal Virus. (Even the thought of that dreadful time made his stomach squirm) Sonic still hasn’t showered in a while, so of course he’d be a bit on the uglier side. He is a bit on edge, still learning to not trust as easily as he did before. He is slightly malnourished, not wanting to be greedy and waste more food than necessary.

But… But is that really him? Does Sonic really looks so… Unwell? So overhelmed? So unkempt? So scared, so sad, so dead inside?

He stares back at the image in the mirror, glaring daggers at the darker version of himself. No, this could not be the same hedgehog. The real Sonic is cheerful, happy to be alive, happy to have such great friends, happy that he has such great opportunities! He’s thankful, he’s kind, and he would never ask for anything more.

The hedgehog in the mirror begs to differ. Its head tilts to the side, mocking Sonic’s thoughts, grinning from ear to ear as it analyzes its counterpart. Not a word is spoken from either being, for there are none that need saying. They just continue staring into each other's eyes, trying to one-up the other without even lifting a finger.

Sonic gets tired of it after only a minute, a pathetic little yawn escaping his lips and his eyes drooping in exhaustion. He rubs his eyes angrily, knowing the version of himself in the mirror has already won. But when he looks back, the being is no longer grinning.

It still looks the same, but… But it’s also still Sonic.

…

He exits the bathroom, turning the light off behind him, not wanting to look in the mirror any longer.

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

Little Dark Age (MGMT)

Giddy with delight, seeing what’s to come/The image of the dead, dead ends in my mind/Policemen swear to God, love’s seeping from the guns/I know my friends and I would probably turn and run

"It has such a dark ominous vibe in the music alone. There is so much nuance and double meanings behind the lyrics. It's about mental illness and secrecy. It's about the state of the world and politics. It's about how we're regressing into a "dark age" of intellectual darkness and a lack of "writing" (human art and creativity). It's about the darkness of humanity in general. It's about not being able to hide from the pain of the world or the actions you have taken. It's just so. Gahhgg. No matter how you interpret it, it cuts deep."

At the Price of Oblivion (Homestuck)

"This song doesn't actually appear in the comic, but it's representative of a sequence in which the two main characters, Rose and John, encounter Bec Noir, the murderous demigod who killed each of their respective parents. The two of them square up, and John is INSTANTLY killed. Rose, who's been infected with the power of eldritch gods from beyond reality, flies into a murderous rage and fights Noir SINGLEHANDEDLY. While we don't see the conclusion of the fight, we're lead to believe Rose at the very least had a chance at victory"

HOLY SHIT THAT BEAT DROP! Genuinely such a blood-pumping, hype song. Also the beat drop coincides perfectly with... well. SO it starts with these two protagonists just kind of standing there trying to process their parents' deaths and then Right on the beat drop like 2 seconds in one of them gets impaled from behdand dies and the rest is the other fghting a losing battle in her FuckedUp Eldritch Horror form along w/ soe other shit. Anyway. Ultimately one of the reasons this song really fuk me up is because of Rose in general Rose is such a fun character and I love her so much and this scene is part of a turning point for her. I love ranting to myself about characters and Rose is one of my favorites to rant about because there are a few separate times where one of my favorite poems, TS Eliot's The Wasteland, is referenced in connection with her. I've gotten halfway through a like. 7 page essay about how The Wasteland and Rose are connected--it has a lot to do with knowledge, and grief, and shit like that. This scene is sort of the accumulation of all of that symbolism. Rose is a Seer of Light, which means her role in the game is to help her team by being an arbiter of information of sorts. It's her job to know things, basically. The Wasteland is a poem about the aftermath of WWI. The specific passage referenced in connection to Rose is at the very beginning of the poem--part 1, The Burial of the Dead. The passage talks about the cruelty of springtime, as it melts the snow that had covered and numbed the barren swathes of land that had been ravaged by the war. Ultimately, however, it's talking about memory--being able to see the wasteland again means having to remember that it exists, why it exists. It goes on to talk at length about the pain of being a surviving soldier of the turmoil of WWI--how alienating it was to understand war like no one around you, how painful it was to live with that knowledge, to have to confront the grief of others who did not survive daily. In this arc, Rose does a lot of really risky things and basically gets herself killed twice because knowing what she ended up knowing drove her to those ends. Much of Homestuck is a story of loss of innocence, of growing up, and Rose exemplifies that here. She has to choose to look, for her sake, for her friends' sake, and it ruins her, in many respects. She is the first to know about her mothers' death, which leads to a wild eldritch psychological breakdown. She is the only one to find out about the tumor in time, which leads to her trying to sacrifice herself to fix it. Anyway. As someone obsessed with Knowing(TM), this song is an absolute banger that to me still manages to capture that undercurrent of Rose's wild, desperate grief--and the desperate determination that forced her onward even so."