#this ended up being more about loneliness ahaha

[yuurei20]

Translation from Twisted Wonderland the 2nd novel: Cheka (pt3)

"'Perhaps realizing that he is being laughed at, Cheka looks around the room with a curious look.

‘Why’s everybody laughing? Are you Unca’s friends?’

The fearsome Leona, the boss of Savanaclaw, called ‘Unca’ so affectionately by a child like this.

Possibly emboldened by the laughter, Ace bursts out with ‘I can’t take it anymore!,’ speaking freely to Leona. ‘You bet, that’s us—Unca’s friends! Isn’t that right, Unca Leona?’

‘Knock it off…!’

In a panic Yuuya tries to call off Ace in response to Leona’s menacing growl, but none of them can restrain themselves now. Ace, Ruggie, Grim and Deuce all burst out laughing.

Jack bites down on his own lower lip, doing all he can to not join in.

Yuuya glances fearfully to his side to be met with the fierce look in Leona’s eyes.

‘You bastards. I’ll remember this…!’

In response to Leona’s terrifying expression, Yuuya feels a strange sense of relief, which surprises him. Faced with the rage that emanates from Leona, Yuuya realizes that he, himself, has been tense for quite some time.

For how long? And why?

Yuuya smiles without even realizing he does it, and Leona gives him a menacing look. ‘Even you—you’ve got some nerve.’

It is as though Leona may grab him by the collar and lift him into the air at any moment. Yuuya does his best to manage a neutral expression in an attempt to prove that it was not Leona that he was smiling about.

‘Unca Leona…ahaha—ow!’ Ruggie furrows his brows, chuckling all the while. ‘Uhg, laughing hurts.’

‘I’m going to make sure that not a single one of you can ever open your mouths again…!’

‘Hey now—please rest, both of you,’ Jack says, hurriedly pressing down against Leona’s shoulder as Leona attempts to push himself upright in bed.

It is not the kind of commotion that one would expect to walk in upon in an infirmary.

Soon, people identified as Cheka’s guards come to retrieve him, and Yuuya heaves a heavy sigh, sinking back into his bed."

(from the following scene ↓)

“They had to carry Leona to the nurse’s office an’ he was wreckin’ havoc, sayin’ 'I'm fine!’ the whole time.’

‘Oh…that sounds really scary. It might have been for the best that I was unconscious for it.’

Grim gives a deep sigh. It must have been quite a scene.

’They were wrappin’ 'im up in bandages an’ the whole time he was all mad about it, about bein’ treated like he was hurt. But just lookin’ at ‘im—anyone could tell he was, y’know? He wouldn’t listen to a thing anyone had to say, so in the end Vargas and them scolded ‘im and had to force ‘im to lie down.’

‘He was really that upset?’

‘Yeah. He was shoutin’ over an’ over that he’ll beat Malleus the next time. The guy never learns.’

'That’s good—' Yuuya says, and he suddenly realizes the source of his lingering unease. How quiet Leona had been--that's what had frightened him.

Once Leona had accepted his defeat, had abandoned the tournament, his calm demeanor had seemed to be on the verge of resignation. The sight of his blank expression had made Yuuya think that maybe he truly had given up on everything.

His eyes, so gentle, had been filled with loneliness.

His voice had held neither joy nor sadness.

Though Yuuya dislikes confrontation, Leona's silence had seemed to warn of a vulnerability that could lead to something even more terrifying.

With the banishing of that silence it seems Yuuya feels, quite simply, relieved.

Leona had been akin to a piece of art, listless and unmoving. Yuuya finds it strange to realize that he is more at ease with a Leona who shouts and contorts his face in rage."

[reitheist]

bucchigiri ep 12 lb thoughts:

wow, tbh I was not expecting to get more backstory on ara this late, but it's appreciated

aww ara thought matakara was cool

i'm still unsure what exactly a honki person is to be completely honest

komao is the best nurse thanks buddy

bucchigiri pleaseeeeee let mahoro do anything please im begging

ahaha the cat gag is finally revealed

also he just fucking stole jasmine right out of there lmaooo

okay so... mahoro uses a man to wake her brother up... sweetie I'm sorry but your brother only cares about men and fighting. it's time to give up

the siguma goons dressed in nurse outfits I'm cackling

yet again love is used as a metaphor for fighting and here it's applied to arajin and matakara hm

ahaaaaa as I predicted his wish changed. specifically to wanting matakara to wake up, no less

so like, is ichiya's issue with senya similar to matakara's issue with arajin? in that he wasn't as strong as he wanted him to be

is it inappropriate to say senya is lucky and I would like ichiya to beat me up as well

oh damn ichiya was sick and wanted to be killed by senya. senya looked up to ichiya and didn't want to do that.

komao carrying zabu aww

so now that ichiya is controlling matakara's body, matakara is stuck with his darkness. notably, the best friend stone lies in there, broken. he sits in the corner of his laundromat room, the place he's had to stay since his brother went to juvie

ofc these two muscled bitches can only make up by fighting

divorced dad senya got his wife back by being real for once

the only thing stronger than ichiya's pettiness--matakara's lack of self worth

ope well the only thing stronger than matakara's lack of self worth is ara's delusional love for mahoro ig

wow his wish change did not last for long lol

ohhh matakara shoving ara away, he believes everyone from his past makes him weaker "I don't need my friends, or my brother, or even you!"

matakara is deathly afraid of being left alone. it happened with ara, it happened with his brother, so now he wants to sever all his relationships so he can't be hurt again

literally shoving the love of friendship into matakara's face so he can't reject it, healing the inner child so afraid of loneliness

matakara finally having his investment in ara acknowledged and reciprocated

senya's unfinished business is done, he can ascend to heaven with his boyfie

i KNEW that stamp was gonna be for matakara. also stamping it in blood hell yeah

matakara I love youuuu

ahh a very sk8-type ending montage

MATAKARA YOUR BESTIES LOVE YOU

i'm at least glad mahoro is still ignoring the fact ara exists

did shindo wear fake boobs and heels just to sneak back into NG 💀 he's fulfilling his true calling in life: to be the drama member of an idol group

lmaooo catboy doing his best sales

ara and matakara making gyoza again 😭

matakara's brother is alive phew

lmaoooo the ending

well, I guess the ending would keep it open for a potential S2, if that were to ever happen. good episode with excellent animation, even though it didn't quite fulfill all of my desires for this show. would've liked mahoro to have a more active role in all this. this show also felt a bit limited by runtime and writing at times, but overall it was a pretty enjoyable experience with charming characters (who I would've liked to learn more about, tbh). matakara and ara's fight was amazing. I wanted more ichiya and senya than we got but I'm glad they resolved their issues too. I'm kinda curious as to what happened with ichiya after the fight. is he also in the bullet with senya, did he pass on, or is he in his own bullet? if it's the first option, I need a spinoff of their stupid domestic lives inside their separate spirit world

[leonscape]

Hello, million congrats on your 400 followers 💖🫶🏻

Can I request 13 you're all I want, angst, Leon x Irene?

Yaaa... I'm a bit of an angst fan ahaha...ha..😅💖💔

Leonscape’s 400 Follower Special

Leon x OC (Irene) + Angst + You’re All I Want, “There is no other love, it’s only yours. You’re all I want, all I love.”

Ooh thank you! My first angst request! I wasn’t sure what angle to take it from so I decided to go with a Leon/Anastasia story because that does the angst well. Sorry this is so long, it kinda just ended up that way.

Also note: Ana is a bit older in this, I know I always write her as a young child but now she’s older and she understands what happened.

Leon and Jin were out on official duty. They had just wrapped up their business and were headed home. But before they could board their carriage and return to the palace, they spotted their own children out and about.

Normally it wouldn’t be strange. But this was the first time they saw them talking to the opposite gender.

Anastasia’s smile was radiant. Her charm was infectious as the two guys were blushing and smile while talking to her. Her half cousin, Cordelia, was quietly standing beside her.

The two fathers approached but they only scared the boys away.

“Uh, we’ll see you later,” the boy said as he and his friend quickly walked away.

“Sorry did we scare away your boyfriends?” Jin asked.

“Uncle Jin, you’re scaring my prospective husband,” Anastasia said playfully.

“My bad. I apologize,” Jin chuckled. Leon stayed quiet.

“Did you both finish with your work?” Ana asked.

“Yup. We were just going to head back,” Jin said. “What are you two doing in town?”

“Delia and I were gonna try out this cafe. Would you like to come with us?”

Of course Leon and Jin agreed. Jin loved sweets, but he had to find out more about this prospective husband of Ana’s.

“I’m surprised your dad ain’t tracking them down to kill them,” Jin joked.

“I would never,” Leon protested. “If he’s a good guy, then I don’t see a problem with it.”

“Nah, they’re just friends. They’re really cool though and they don’t really know who we are, so I want it to just stay like that,” Ana admitted. “But I was wondering something.”

She hesitated for a moment before turning to her father. “Why don’t you get remarried? Or do you think marriage is pointless?”

An heavy silence followed her words. “I know we can’t exactly marry anyone we want, but having someone to… y’know… be with? doesn’t that sound nice?” She tried to explain.

Leon cleared the shock from his expression and answered in a levelheaded tone, “I never felt the need to. And as for you, I would rather you didn’t marry for serious business only. I would want you to have a good relationship with your partner. Not to force it and feel stuck in unhappiness. At the least, you should have respect for one another.”

“Hey, you’re making the rest of us parents look bad,” Jin chuckled. “But he’s right. And we want that for both of you.”

Cordelia just looked down and twisted her lips in discomfort.

After indulging in some sweet treats, they finally returned to the palace. Jin had offered to take care of the reports and other paperwork from the day’s work. Leon didn’t actually want Jin to take on all the work by himself, but his older brother kept insisting. Of course Leon was worried about Jin overworking himself, but he wanted in on the workload so that he could occupy his mind.

Now he was just by himself. The unsettling loneliness was getting under his skin and worming its way into his heart.

He promised he would stop doing this years ago. But he couldn’t bring himself to throw away her perfume bottle. He also couldn’t stop himself from replacing it either.

“Okay, this is the last time,” he lied to himself. It was just a little spritz of perfume, but the scent shattered his entire being. He crumpled to the floor as the mist of fragrance dispersed. He took each breath in slowly. Why was it that scent had the power to take you back through time? It was able to dig deep into his memories and bring everything he’s been holding in his heart to the surface.

The perfume breathed her presence into the room. Leon snatched a pillow from his bed and hugged it close to his body. He closed his eyes and remembered what it felt like to have her in his arms.

It wasn’t long before his tears were soaking into the pillow. “How could I ever marry someone else? There is no other love, it’s only yours,” he said as if he was whispering in her ear. “You’re all I want, all I love.”

[dummerjan]

But you like it, don’t you? When I am like this.

This is the line I keep coming back to.

Vegas says this and yet, when they have sex he shows no trace of anger. He is overwhelmed by Pete initiating the kiss, he is reverent when taking the rope and binding Pete’s hands. His kiss, to me, is an expression of gratitude, accepting Pete’s submission and thanking him for it. He worships him, every touch tender and gentle, appreciative.

(I just had to include this pic, I couldn't help myself.)

I don’t think Pete ever looks like he is enjoying Vegas’ cruelty and mood swings. Yes, he is fascinated by him during the torture scene in Ep. 7, but in that instance the violence isn’t directed at him and purely business related. It’s a kind of violence Pete is familiar with, has exerted himself without qualms. When he is the victim he doesn’t cower or back down, he laughs at Vegas in defiance and despair, but not because he finds any pleasure in it. I am not saying he isn’t a masochist. But even if he is, it doesn’t mean he derives pleasure from any kind of pain, especially not in the context of captivity and torture when he is expecting to die. Same goes for the intimidation and humiliation. So, from where does Vegas get the idea that Pete likes him volatile and moody? Was he just trying to get a rise out of Pete because he likes him defiant and fierce? Is it just something he says in self-defense after Pete saw him in such a vulnerable state, grieving his hedgehog and failing his father’s task? Vegas strikes me as an incredibly lonely person. For me, personally, the pain of being lonely and lacking relationships is as much, if not even more, about lacking the possibility to love someone, to prove myself worthy of being loved and capable of love as it is about not being loved and having someone care for me. To have proof that I am not a monster that needs to be locked up in the basement, kept away from other people. And this might just be self-projection because those are the kind of characters I latch onto, but that is what I recognize in Vegas. When I look at Vegas I see someone who is finally allowed to be soft, caring, show affection and love. Previously he only had Macau to care for, but he also had to protect him from Kan in the role of the big brother.

He is still violent, manipulative, cruel and selfish but he is also a human being capable of love and deeply, painfully lonely. To finally have someone be the object of that love must be overwhelming. That’s how I interpret the way he looks at and so carefully touches Pete in the hospital, with reverence and wonder, not yet understanding how and why he is allowed to have that and thus all the more desperate to prove himself worthy of Pete.

I thought this would help me figure out what he means when he says "But you like it, don’t you? When I am like this." but I am just continuing to overthink this obessively to no avail. I doubt it's that deep but there’s a dissonance between his words and actions that I can’t figure out and it's been driving me crazy. Maybe someone else can make sense of it.

[teklarn]

𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝔀𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓬𝓻𝔂 𝓽𝓸𝓸, 𝓲𝓯 𝓲𝓽 𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓷𝓮𝓭 𝓽𝓸 𝔂𝓸𝓾

character(s): izuku midoriya x gn!reader (x katsuki bakugou) 

a/n: gosh i love angst (quick note!! i edit to the best of my ability, however it’s easy to miss things, and i type 100 words per minute, so im sorry if i miss some things!) this ain’t a poly relationship btw, i don’t feel like i could write that well (no shame to people who do!! personally i feel like i would butcher it) 

reblogs are greatly appreciated! 

based off the song: it’s my party by lesley gore

summary: y/n realizes going to katsuki bakugou’s wedding was a mistake

genre: angst all the way shawties 

warnings: light cursing, heartbreak, alcohol, one-sided pining (reader), aged up/pro-hero au, sad reminiscing bc ahaha bakugou made us sad :’) and a crap load of references to the song, friend zoning (eesh) 

word count: 2,566

ik yall are waiting for a part 2 of brutal and part 3 of you’re not my boyfriend but this idea just struck i had to get it down pls 

- - - 

“let’s raise a toast to our finest lovebirds, my best friend and his wife, katsuki bakugou and ochaco uraraka!” kirishima took a sip of champagne. 

you lifted your beverage in unison with the others seated at your table but did not drink. you blinked down at the fizzing beverage. 

“we wish you all the best,” kirishima said. “you and your best buds have no doubt you two’ll be known as some of the most indestructible symbols of peace.” 

another wave of applause passed among the crowd. the last toast was finished and the music resumed. your entire table left you sitting. it wasn’t like you knew anyone here, anyways. nobody except for the few classmates bakugou was still in touch with. 

those people consisted of izuku midoriya, who was sitting at the table across from you, as well as across the dance floor. 

the lights twinkled up again, red, blue, and green flashing along the floor. 

you couldn’t deny it. bakugou in a red suit, uraraka in a wedding dress fell just above her knees, a red bow tied around her waist. you did not doubt that if you were to be sold as a healthy person on the black market, that dress would still be worth more than you. 

the only comfort you had was midoriya, who had greeted you when you came in, but the two of you had exchanged no further words. but he looked equally as miserable as you. 

uraraka and bakugou were perfect together. they looked happy. and you were happy to see bakugou happy. happy to see uraraka happy with him. 

bakugou dipped his newlywed wife to the beat of the music. her back arched perfectly into his large hands. 

what hurts the most was that, while you wished it was you instead of her on that dance floor, you knew it wouldn’t work out. 

not that you and bakugou wouldn’t have worked out. the two of you were a perfect couple! 

what hurts the most was that it was a wish, and in every near universe, you still didn’t have that ring. 

uravity and dynamight simply looked...happier. 

- 

you stormed out, shaking. why was your katsuki kissing her? holding her when it should have been you? 

deep down, you knew you had no right. you and bakugou were barely a couple. throughout his years at yuuei, he’d calmed down immensely. so much that he could strike up a conversation with nearly everyone. as it turns out, introverted katsuki bakugou was a shameless flirt. 

the two of you exchanged flitting glances from time to time, but it was never anything serious. at least to him, it wasn’t. 

you knew he’d never taken the flirting seriously, and you also knew about his aching feelings for uraraka. how he covered his mouth whenever she walked by. how his voice raised just a bit, and how soft his eyes got. 

you shouldn’t have been surprised. he never even hinted that he might have had romantic feelings for you. 

the entire room erupted with applause as he kissed her. the katsuki bakugou, kissing someone? pfft, only in dreams. 

for some, the dream would be good. like uraraka, who had shamelessly kissed him back. 

for you, it was a complete nightmare. 

the blaring music, the lights, the balloons, the ‘happy graduation class of 1-A!’ 

you drowned it all out. you curled your knees to your chest. you had no right to be hurt. not at all. they were his emotions. you had no control over them. 

loneliness clouded over you. your chest screamed with longing. a longing to be held. be wanted by him. 

you were alone. nobody was coming to comfort you. nobody was- 

the door opened, clicking shut just as quickly. someone sniffled. 

your eyes flicked up from your knees. 

“y/n? i...i’m sorry, i had no idea anyone was out here...i can leave...”

“it’s alright, izuku.” 

- 

izuku took a swig from a bottle containing something much heavier than champagne. 

that same tug in your chest came about. you were tired of seeing the billboards, the magazines. tired of seeing the unquestionably perfect relationship, perfect love bloom right before you. 

dynamight and uravity this! dynamight and uravity that! 

the music was loud enough, the lights were busy enough, and the people were ignorant enough to neglect your crying figure. 

this was supposed to be my party. he loved me first. 

- 

“you okay?” you asked, swiping your nose. 

izuku looked back at the graduation party. “no, y/n. i’m not.” 

“then we’re both absolute shit.” you let him help you up. “why’re you crying?” 

“just...just uraraka.” 

“for me it’s just bakugou.” 

just as bakugou had calmed down during his years at yuuei, izuku had earned a sense of sarcasm. “are they just oblivious or stupid?” 

“goodness, izuku,” you joked, pressing a hand to your shuddering chest. “calling uraraka stupid?” 

he gave you a sad side-smile. you listened in silence as the upbeat music played on. 

“i guess we’re the stupid ones.” he sighed, chest heaving a little. 

“i guess,” you agreed. he pulled you into a hug, and you let the tears flow. your sobs corrupted your chest as you curled into his arms. “why? why did it have to be her?” 

“not all heroes end up happy, y/n.” 

you looked up at him, eyes puffy, sniffling. “why can’t we be part of that small portion of heroes who are?” 

izuku looked up, trying to neglect the water pooling in his own eyes. “i guess...well, not to be a narcissist—” he let out a breathy chuckle, “―but if you noticed, all the greatest heroes die with some kind of regret.” 

“maybe i don’t want to be a good hero.” you ignored his efforts to lighten the mood. 

“heroes don’t always get to choose whether they’ll be good or not. some things just happen.”

“i’m sorry, izuku.” you swiped at your eyes. “you’re hurt just as badly as me. i don’t want to make it—” 

“hey.” izuku gently pried your hands away from your face, fingers ghosting over your wrists. his emerald eyes gleamed as they stared into yours. “don’t invalidate your feelings just because of me. we’re both hurting, but that doesn’t mean i won’t listen to you.” 

your sobs came back again, and you fell into his chest. 

- 

bakugou spun uraraka, laughing gently as she twirled in his arms. his eyes lit up whenever he saw her. they twinkled. he sparkled. his smile was dazzling. and he was everything you never had. 

you were a heartbroken mess, even after all these years. there was a list of all the reasons you were mad at him, and yourself. 

your sobs were almost uncontrollable, and at this point, you were shocked nobody came to check on you. not that you cared very much. even if you were making a small effort to hide your face, it still would have been nice to feel a touch on your shoulder, someone perhaps shaking you gently to make sure you were awake. 

not that you’d tell them what was wrong. you just wanted to know somebody cared, and to have the option to talk to somebody if you needed to do so. 

but here you were. cheesy, upbeat fifties music echoed along the walls of the room. bakugou had secretly adored artists from back then, and you’d often catch him dancing and singing along to long-forgotten oldies. 

if you weren’t his best friend, you would have blown off coming here and binge-watched ‘my best friend’s wedding’ and sobbed. 

your head was down, forehead leaning on the backs of your forearms stacked upon each other. tears were streaming down, your shoulders shuddering with each weak breath sucked in and released. 

until bakugou chose you, you had no reason to smile. at least not now. by no means were you desperate. love sometimes did that to people. made them look needy, look unwanted. 

you’ve had plenty of options in the past, but the one person who you wanted didn’t want you back. didn’t even care. 

since the graduation party, uraraka and you had been a bit tense. a part of her felt like she knew how you felt, and how bakugou mattered to you more than anyone in the world. 

after the first year, she began abandoning izuku and ignoring his emotions towards her. after she and bakugou found each other, they had already known they would settle with one another. 

you and izuku had never been close, but you were both good friends and were there when you needed one another. 

he had walked you through your pain of senior year, and you’d helped him reach a lot of his goals, too. but bakugou just didn’t seem to care anymore. not even about becoming the number one hero. he looked at uraraka like she was his goal, his new dream, the reason he was happy. he looked at her and saw that he had the world in his hands and wanted to keep it that way. 

you? you were pluto. exiled from the rest of the planets. exiled from the rest of his options, when you used to be his first. 

- 

“y/n?”

you and izuku backed away from each other. you’d both been crying for quite a bit. how long it had been, you were both unsure. 

uraraka now stood at the door. you peeked into the window, leaning back a bit and catching glances of the blonde, who was currently being clapped on the back by his friends, congratulated for ‘getting the girl’. 

“are you guys okay?’ uraraka asked. 

“would you cry, uraraka?” 

she tilted her head. “what?” 

you pushed yourself off of izuku. “do you think you’d cry if you saw me kissing him, too?” 

“what’re you―” 

“you would cry, too! you would be sobbing!” you stabbed an accusatory finger at her. “you were my friend! you knew how i felt, and you’re kissing him?” 

uraraka’s eyes widened. “i...i’m sorry. it all just happened, and i—”

“shut the hell up, uraraka. you ruined this party. for me and izuku.” 

perhaps you went a bit far, but in your heart and your mind, you knew she deserved it. she knew. uraraka had known. 

izuku gave uraraka a sympathetic look before pressing a hand to your back and leading you away. 

- 

it still came as a bit of a shock that uraraka had let bakugou invite you to their wedding. gosh. little, domestic bakugou, sealing invitations and batting his eyes at his oh-so-sweet wife so he could invite his best friend. 

little domestic uraraka sweetly kissing her fiance on the cheek and pouting as she said, “how can i say no?” 

it was disgusting, and everything you wanted to have with him. 

you allowed yourself to be selfish this one time. after all, you deserved it. you’d endured hours of bakugou blabbering on about how sweet uraraka was. everything you weren’t. 

you took the bottle to champagne. your ankles were aching as you stumbled out of the room. your vision blurred, becoming foggy with tears. not one person stopped you. you guessed because nobody noticed. 

like graduation night, you slumped down right outside the doors to the party, the music, lights, and laughter muffled. the only difference was that you had a bottle of champagne and the man of your dreams was gone. for good, this time. 

-

“i wish she noticed me. it was like, after first year, the uraraka i knew just vanished.” 

you nodded. you and midoriya were wandering the streets, cool air brushing down your neck and on your face as cars passed. 

“uraraka was so sweet, but she lost feelings so fast and...ugh.” midoriya ran a hand through his hair, ruffling his curls. “i’m still a bit...baffled. i know people change, but she and kacchan both switched up so fast.” 

“i don’t want to say they’re jackasses, but they’re kind of jackasses.” 

izuku rubbed your shoulder as you leaned on him while the two of you walked. “don’t say that.” 

“sorry,” you breathed. 

“no more being sorry. being sorry all the time leads to shit like this.” 

you chuckled. “yeah, it does.” you sniffed. “did i take you away from the party? you can go back if you want.” 

he shrugged. “’s all right. i don’t mind.” 

“do you want to be here or would you rather be in there?”

“out here with you. i can’t be there right now.” 

“me too.” 

- 

“let me guess.” 

you looked up and scoffed softly. 

“this was supposed to be your party?” 

you nodded. “my party, my groom. i’m not supposed to be crying at my party, am i?” 

your friend shook his head. “not at all. cheer up, y/n.” 

izuku slid down the wall, sitting beside you. he rested his arms on his knees, twisting open his own bottle of champagne. “you look like a mess.”

“and you look like you need anger management.” you smiled. 

he grinned back. “do i now?” 

“yeah, you do. you should have seen yourself sitting there. all alone, the one person drinking something that wasn’t the fifty-thousand yen drinks.” 

“54,795.75 yen, to be exact.” 

you raised an eyebrow. “you’re insane. you kidding me? why do you know that?” 

“i was the weird kid who took notes on everyone in the class. of course i would know this. i’m offended you think i wouldn’t.” 

you tilted your head back in laughter. “gosh, izuku.” 

“mhm.” 

there was a pause. comfortable silence filled the space, broken by you sigh after gulping down your drink. “so they’re gone?” 

“i’d rather not dwell on it.” 

“how old are we now?” 

izuku gave a breathy chuckle. “twenty-five.” 

you smiled. “really, now? and i thought i would be married by now.” 

“me too. ‘s a shame.” 

“how about, if we’re both still not married by the time we’re forty, we get married to each other, adopt three children and we become hot parents.” 

“three?” 

“yeah, we can have a mini hero agency.” 

“that’s horrifying. but i agree. having a mini hero agency would be pretty amazing.” 

“i’m glad you agree with me, izuku.” you brushed a curl from his eyes. 

“can’t wait until i’m forty,” he smirked. 

“me neither.” 

“maybe by then we would have forgotten all of this?” 

“we’ll be fighting a villain, and we get our memories erased, and then we fall in love because we wake up beside each other in the hospital. we’re both equally confused.” you peppered him with jokes. “it’s a journey we will go on together.” 

“can’t wait until my memory gets erased.” 

“do you wanna get out of here?”

izuku shook his head. “it’s their wedding. we can’t. we shouldn’t.” 

you gave him a silly look. 

“you’re always such trouble, y/n.” 

“if you hate it, then wipe that stupid grin off your face.” 

izuku’s features softened. “maybe i like it. but only sometimes.” he took your head and lead you out, leaving his drink behind while you took yours. 

a single tear rolled down your cheek. he didn’t erase all your pain, nor your feelings for bakugou. it wasn’t what you needed, no. 

you just needed a friend. a real one. one that wouldn’t steal your dream from you. and that’s what you knew you had right now. 

besides, things could happen in the future, right? 

you smiled, and let the cold air touch your skin. 

[awesome-cookies-and-cream]

about haikyuu’s ep 1

so anyway let me ramble about it because i just realized how amazing haikyuu’s first episode is now that the whole story has been revealed. and probably why i like this show among other sports anime, and i love sports anime since i was a kid.

because in 24 minutes tops, it managed to establish haikyuu as a story. in 24 minutes or so, it managed to:

1.) Make you root for the MC

Seeing Hinata finally getting to play his first volleyball match in his entire middle school career, all the desperate things he’s done in order to reach that goal makes you root for him in less than 10 minutes. i’ve seen enough sports anime to see cliches and often it either starts off with:

the mc underestimated, and after some asshole challenges them to some kind of contest, and then at the last minute, the mc shows some super skill they have and gets recruited

the mc as some kind of loser/delinquent/nerd that, under several circumstances, is found to have potential and gets recruited by the team captain/manager/ whoever.

sometimes its just pure ambition for them to win, some kind of dream. when they make their resolve to be better and win, you start rooting for them.

often times they start of as apathetic to the sport, and soon later learns to love it which help viewers fall in love with the sport as well. because you, a person who previously don’t care about the sport, start caring to root for the mc.

but haikyuu starts differently. haikyuu starts the show with ridiculous love for a sport that doesn’t favor him, in a place that didn’t favor him. all stacks are against him, physique, environment, experience, but you see the kid and he’s so desperate to play when most people would have been discouraged and the show makes you love the sport by making you ask why someone would love something so much to the point of feeling lonely

and then you don’t go ‘woaaaah, he’s so cool!’ the first episode. unlike other sports animes, haikyuu didn’t start with you realizing how cool the mc is. it starts with a loss. it starts with mourning. that even though you initially already rooted for hinata because of his struggles and loneliness, he still lost. it’s so realistic it hits close to home, but he picked himself up and resolved to do better. in 20 minutes, me, the viewer watching, decided i want the kid to achieve all his dreams.

2.) establish the character and determined their arcs for entire story

it blew my mind really and i think that’s why the character’s endings paid off. no ‘hey wtf they deserve better than this!’ feeling. the character were treated very well. but because we’re just talking about the first episode, we’ll just talk about kageyama and hinata (who are the central part and driving force of the story)

so first we see hinata who sees the little giant on screen, gets inspired and plays. then immediately after that, hinata is on court and everything he says after wards establishes that he’s excited and new to this, never played before, and this was the thing he had waited for all his middle school life.

hinata is the rookie with potential, the one who worked hard as we see in all of his flashbacks. he did his best even if the place didn’t allow it, and he was going to blow them all away

but then

we meet kageyama. now he’s the cliche genius rival in the sports anime duo--except no. he’s like most ‘genius’ characters, cliche in how mean he is, how demanding he is. if this was the usual, the final match would be the match between hinata and kageyama (and it was but more on that later)

from their practice alone, the way he walked, the way he talked to hinata, you just know his character arc would be about dealing with his attitude with his teammates. (though we will learn later how this was subverted. instead of being proved wrong and learning to be humbled, we see that it will circle back to being king of the court but with more depth and experience.) and i came thinking his crown gets knocked down ahaha we get a peek at his character arc but not on where its really going to go

hinata’s arc starts  the first few minutes already established how his arc is tied with the little giant though again we get a peek on his arc we don’t know how it’s going to go and who would’ve thought he wasn’t going to inherit the title but overcome it. wonderful trope subversion

of course we never knew the subversion that’s going to happen, but we already see hints of it from ep 1 alone. that said, here’s one more thing hinata needed to learn which was implied from the beginning and is something easily overlooked until you reach the inarizaki game and that is

3.) establish its themes

....proper self maintenance and habits!

i think the themes haikyuu got going is one of the things that make it memorable. there were so many but for episode one until rio (since msby vs adlers is a culmination of it) the theme of self maintenance and proper habits HAVE BEEN THERE SINCE EPISODE ONE JFC its also probably why 387 hits differently but that on me

okay everyone knows this. people have talked about it already. but??? tf?? in the grand scheme of things story telling wise it’s so genius?? it was so SUBTLE! it was one meaningless exchange at that time and a running gag you weren’t going to expect was important.

hinata going to the toilet was just some quirky gag and character trait about how nervous he was. and kageyama’s lecture was just to show his character trait of being an asshole

or so you thought.

like 200 chapters later you realize its a central part of the story! and it fucking proved its point on nationals! whats often the end goal of sports anime, the holy grail, the thing where the protagonists finally wins they keep fuckn losing. wonderful trope subversion but holy fuck.

it just hits differently right? because later you also realize that yes Kageyama’s delivery needed working but hinata really was unprepared. and he was right. and it spoke so much about their characters in the long run even though we don’t know it yet. it’s hidden in plain sight! it’s so good hgnnnh

but in relation to themes and character arc. that first match between them also spoke volumes about everything i mentioned and so we move one to...

4.) endings and beginnings

which is the title of the chapter. something that never fails to give me chills.

because in every way possible, it is the end and the beginning.

going on about that match, it already gave us a vision about how the end is going to go. a match between kageyama and hinata. in the match we see something that could have been, a game kageyama would have enjoyed, a potential hinata has when he made that last spike. a good game for both of them. and when he made that spike, kageyama saw someone who could match him as a teammate, someone who could hit his tosses. its so good because while hinata lost, kageyama didn’t win either. both of them felt like they lost when they walked out of that court.

in addition to ep 1, that scene in the end where they end up meeting in the same teammates is another trope subversion that i like kageyama became a 2 in one character of genius final boss and genius teammate who the mc has to fight. ep 1 is so damn meaningful

in the game we see all i talked about above. you, rooting for the mc, their character arcs, and the themes. every sports anime’s theme always have ‘the sport is fun’ slapped over them. otherwise why would we even watch it? that game showed them play volleyball where they both want to have fun but can’t because both weren’t strong enough, and by denying this, we have the whole story.

so the end where they finally become strong enough to have fun resolves this. it was an allusion to the end, hinata and kageyama on the world stage and playing against each other.

And finally, the best and final nail on the coffin.

that scene where hinata promised kageyama that he would defeat him and he would stay on the court longest no matter how long it took? that ties up the ending and beginning without us ever knowing at that time

because that’s it, that’s the whole story. its really just about the promise, and at the same time, more than that. the story is about their love for volleyball, because hinata’s words wasn’t just i’ll defeat you it was

I’ll be the one who stands on the court the longest

and doesn’t that just boil down to their love for the game? that they complete against each other and win matches to play more games? doesn’t it boil down to their mutual love for their sport? their mutual promise to each other to be the one to play the most? but its not just that, the end of the ep where they meet again as teammates? that’s how it is too when they both became national team members. and thats it. thats the show, and when they got it, the story concludes.

all that in ep 1 and we don’t even notice until it hits us in the last chapter

[sideblogforcrimpy-plus]

This is the Wayside Pairing: Aaron Hotchner/Haley Hotchner 2,169 words, complete/oneshot, other characters non-existent excluding Jessica Brooks and a Gideon cameo. Rated: General, no canon-typical violence

Summary: Imagine if Hotch didn’t accept the divorce papers straight away and Haley was maybe probably on board with that (open-ended).

It’s the most I’ve ever dipped my foot in the deep pool that is Angst and it took a lot out of me, friends. The title is a reference to the ‘this is the bad place’ thing bc ahaha Hotchley were in it (the bad place)

He knew that things weren’t going well.The crack in the pavement of their relationship was one he had grown too used to stepping over. It had become part of the scenery, and he paid it little mind.

But now, that crack had grown to a chasm while ignored, and he was falling, falling, falling.

He didn’t know how he’d managed to continue through the rest of the case with the divorce papers being a considerable weight he couldn’t shake. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw them, or Haley crying. It was worse that he didn’t feel justified in his actions; he knew he was wrong, and that Haley was only doing what she thought would be better in the long run.

But if he couldn’t make a relationship work with her, could he ever? This woman whom he’d loved since highschool, his wife, the mother of his child - they had the perfect set up.

Harder still was that they still loved each other, but neither knew how to pull the earth back together. How to pull each other out of the dark loneliness Hotch had led them into.

Hotch and Gideon had gone to interview a witness, and Hotch was trying to ignore the fact that Gideon was coddling him. With his track record, he was quite good at ignoring what he didn’t want to see.

He bit back a curse when he realised he’d pulled away from the conversation again, rolling his shoulders and shuffling his feet to shake the rigidity that came with stress.

“-and that’s all you saw of him? Nothing about how he was acting stood out to you?” Hotch knew Gideon would come off as angry to the man before them, but it was frustration at their lack of evidence, not the witness.

He stifled a sigh and glanced around the room, almost nodding his head along to the song playing from the radio before he realised what it was.

“I’ll get over you, I know I will

I’ll pretend my ship’s not sinking

And I’ll tell myself, I’m over you

‘Cause I’m the king of wishful thinking”

The sounds of a conversation Hotch should absolutely be a part of fell away, and flashes of he, Haley, and Jack ran through his mind, the good and the bad. When they met in highschool, their first kiss, their wedding. The whispered fights while Jack was in bed, their incredible joy when Haley fell pregnant, more fighting, the near mindless fear of loosing them to a bomb in a shopping centre, and those god damned divorce papers.

He swallowed, nails biting into his palms as his hands curled into tight fists at his sides.

There's a ringing in his ears that isn't tinnitus, but the roar of emotions he had been pushing, shoving down that were making themselves unable to be ignored. 

He couldn't not do this job, it's who he was.

But he couldn't do anything without Haley. 

Gideon looked over to him, the conversation having lapsed into silence when Hotch hadn’t played his part in it.

“What’s a young kid like you listening to songs like this, huh?” He walked over to the radio, turning it off and looking away from Hotch. He lifted the little notebook he’d been writing in while the witness was talking, waving it a little. “Thanks for the info.” 

Hotch led him out of the house, his steps quickening just like his breaths were.

“Gideon.”

“You need to go, and you should.” Hotch let out a huff through his nose, jaw clenched and eyes glassy. “I shouldn’t have pushed you to be here.”

“You were trying to distract me.” Gideon didn’t react to Hotch’s quiet voice breaking slightly, just waved the little notebook at him, too.

“You take the car, I’ll have the local PD get me.”

“You’ll-” He took a deliberately slow breath, closing his eyes. “What if the team needs me?”

“I started the BAU, Hotch, I’m pretty sure I can keep it going for a little. Now clear outta here, I don’t want to see you for a bit.”

Hotch nodded, grateful, before turning and running to the car.

Haley sat on the couch, Jessica’s hand gripped tight in hers. Not for the first time that day, she scrubbed her eyes with her free hand.

“I don’t know if it was the right thing, Jess. I don’t know! I just, I couldn’t...” Her hand slid from her face to her chest, fingers curling into her shirt as if it would help her breathe better. “What have I done? What have we done?”

Jessica shook her head, giving Haley’s hand a squeeze. Haley’s phone on the coffee table before them lit up, silent but bright with a call from Aaron. Jessica rubbed Haley’s shoulder, making her sister turn to her.

Neither knew what to say, so Jessica let go of her hand and pulled her into her arms instead. Haley’s tears were warm and heartbreaking on her shoulder, and Jessica only held her tighter. She didn’t know if it was a good thing or bad to keep Haley from seeing that Aaron was calling; nothing had felt right for a long time in this house.

Hotch smacked the steering wheel as yet another call went to voicemail. It was taking all the control he had not to speed more than he already was, but he was thankful the case they had wasn’t too far from home.

Given that Haley wasn’t answering his calls, he didn’t know what to expect when showing up at their house. He’d told her that since it was a few hours drive, the team would be staying in hotels until the case was solved. He’d been planning on driving back if possible, but he’d broken promises like that too many times to say it aloud.

He almost didn’t stop driving when he saw Jessica’s car in their driveway, not knowing how she’d react to him being there either. If it would be better or worse. They’d all known each other so long; this wasn’t just he and Haley getting divorced, this was Hotch losing a whole chunk of his family. The ache in his chest throbbed.

He was standing in front of the door not more than a minute later, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes. Tears were falling from his eyes now, and he hadn’t even knocked yet. He was terrified she’d turn him away. And equally terrified that she wouldn’t, and he’d have another chance and the fear of ruining it.

He was panicking, and it had built up so much he was nauseated. 

All the worries and anxious voices in his head silenced when Haley answered the door, she looked just as wrecked as he did. He decided he was thankful to see Jessica with her, a hand on Haley’s shoulder as she stood behind her sister.

“Aaron…”

He took a ragged breath, and Jessica moved to let Haley step back so Hotch could come in. She gestured for the two of them to go to the living room while she stayed behind.

“I’ll make tea for everyone. And coffee for you, Aaron.” The little smile on her face was a comfort he didn’t deserve, but Hotch grasped it like a lifeline. All the same, he couldn’t take his focus off of Haley despite being unable to look her in the eye yet, and the two sat stiffly on the couches.

“You came back early from the case?” Her voice was quiet, hands clasped in her lap in front of her.

Hotch nodded, rubbing at his chair as he stared at the coffee table in front of them. “Yeah, I… The team is handling it.” Haley laughed, the sound high and edging on hysterical.

“After all this time, this is what it took? I have to divorce you to spend time with you?” Hotch flinched, the words worse than a physical blow.

“Haley, you deserve… So much more than I’ve given you. You deserve someone who is present. Someone,” He wiped his hands on his pants, only now brave enough to look her in the eye. And it hurt to. It hurt to face the mess he’d made for her, but he needed to.

“I do. I do deserve better. So why haven’t you been?” Red rimmed and watery eyes were hard in his direction, and he nodded. Swallowing again before he could speak, it felt like while the words were hard to say, each one was a weight leaving his shoulders.

“I let too many things fall by the wayside. I wanted to be the perfect husband, the perfect father, the perfect agent. But I wasn’t doing well at any of them.” He leaned forward, elbows coming to rest on his knees before lacing his fingers together.

“Tell me what you did wrong.” So that you can tell me how you’ll fix it.

Hotch was scared to think that beneath the sadness, frustration, and hurt in her voice, it sounded like there might still be a little hope.

“Every time I was put in a position of choosing work or coming home, Being here, with you and Jack… I wanted to be here, Haley, I really mean it.” He looked to her again, gaze having dropped to his hands earlier. She nodded, lips pressed together.

“I know that.” She barely whispered it, and god it hurt. It was agony knowing that she understood both what he wanted and that he kept choosing the opposite, that it cost them so much. He lifted a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose between his fingers, pressing the corners of his eyes in a useless effort to stanch the tears forming. His words came out in a voice filled with broken notes and guilt.

“Every time I wanted to come home, I’d think that I wasn’t putting enough into work. Moving slower costs lives, lets assailants get away and leaves victims to grieve. And I, I’d think what-? Is what I want is more important than them? Me going home, is that better than saving a life?’”

Haley’s hand tentatively reached out, fingers brushing Hotch’s knee before giving his leg just above the knee a squeeze. Hotch sniffed, head hanging down as he looked at her hand. Slowly, shakily, he took her hand in his. He couldn’t look up at her yet, but he pressed on.

“I know that sounds conceited, but that doesn’t mean I can just stop feeling that.” He lifted her hand in his a little, turning the wedding ring on her finger between his thumb and forefinger. “I only held that standard for myself; I wouldn’t ever expect the team to- to sacrifice so much. But I…” He lifted her hand to his mouth, not kissing it, just pressing it there. 

Haley could feel the dampness of his tears, the twitches in his face when he was trying so hard to compose himself.

 “No one’s harder on you than you. You’ve always been that way.” A breathed puffed out of Hotch like a pathetic laugh.

“I want to work on it, on me, so that we can work on us. I want there to be an ‘us’ again. But if it’s too late, I can respect that.” He said it, and he truly meant it, but he’d break if she actually felt that way.

“I’m scared, Aaron. I’m scared that if we try again, I’ll wind up with Jack home all alone again. This house feels empty, Aaron, and it hurts so much. There’s space for you here, we want you here, and it hurts to miss you so much.” Haley pulled her hand back to wrap her arms around herself, and it devastated Hotch to think of how often she must sit just like that when he breaks his promises of being home.

She shook her head, continuing on as she looked away from him.

“I don’t want to feel like that anymore.”

“And I don’t want you to. I’m scared too, Haley. But if you’ll give me just one last chance, I swear, I’ll do everything I can to be here for you and Jack.” Desperation shone through, and Hotch couldn’t hold it back. Haley withdrawing had his earlier panic returning with breathtaking fear on its heels.

She turned back to him. “How long do you have before you need to go back?”

“I’m off for this case. After that, I- I’m not sure. I left in a rush.” Haley nodded, unwinding her arms from her waist before leaning forward and taking Hotch’s hand in hers again.

“Why don’t we see what happens for the next few weeks? You keep the uh, the papers,” Hotch stopped breathing, the back and forth of emotions too strong for him to process. “And if you can make some big, permanent changes, then we’ll see?”

A ‘we’ll see’ wasn’t guaranteed, but it was the best he could get, and more than he expected.

[loki-the-trikster-god]

heelow i am clyde

ah yes the constant mood. i should be doing homework rn but u know what i don’t want to so i’m not going to

ugh yes me too. it’s very annoying mostly because i always end up forgetting something. sigh

ohhh. interesting. whack indeed

ahaha yes. darling i bet u would look amazing with red hair can’t wait till u get it dyed :))

also ur clothes are like... so awesome. i’ve said this at least twice but, a pink ombré button up? like bro that’s some fashion sense right there

hmmm. i don’t really like winter but that is mostly bc my winter coat makes me look like an idiot and my parents won’t let me get one i actually like. i like the floofy hats tho. hm. cold weather... i mean it’s fine i just don’t like it when it gets so cold every part of me hurts (and they still make us go out for recess like i know you hate us school but you don’t need to kill us). it actually gets pretty hot here. it’s weird, the summers can get like super melting hot but the winters can get freeze-your-ass-off cold too.

yes very much so agreed. ohh that would be so cool.

caramel popcorn is good. ooh i know that mix you’re taking about! i cant remember what it’s called rn (stupid brain) but yeah it’s really good if you eat them together.

hm wow take advantage of that occasion because it sure as hell doesn’t come often. wow that’s pretty good. 👏applause👏. sigh ikr. i was trying to make mother’s day cards yesterday and all the good crafting supplies are at my moms house it’s annoying. as u said, o well.

i like the way u think. cuddly dragons *hugs dragon*

oof. oh really you can only order mcdonald’s through the app? that’s strange. it’s not that way here, though only the drive throughs are even open so... i don’t think i’ve ever had subway tbh. is it good?

that is really cool. glad you’ve found your “thing”. glee looks interesting, maybe i’ll watch it.

ahaha i love ur motivation to join tumblr lol. that’s awesome. “it’s what the gay kids do” brilliant. i joined tumblr bc i already had pinterest, and i had looked at every single screenshot of a tumblr post ever to be on that site, so i decided to get tumblr and see the originals hehe.

yay thank u for the long response :))

see, i’m just gonna tell u this bc if i tell anyone else they’ll think i’m even more of a freak (it’s ok u can think i’m one too). i had this weird dream last night where we were doing this scavenger hunt thing, idk it made no sense. but at the end of the hunt, there was this kid. he said he knew me but i couldn’t remember for the life of me from where, but he looked familiar. he said his name was aarynn (that’s how i chose to spell it idk) and that he was my friend. so i woke up and i’ve been talking to him in my head ever since? is this a sign of some sort of extreme loneliness? idk what’s happening.

yeah idk i’m sry for projecting this onto u i just don’t know who i can talk to at this point

thanks!! i like it a lot too.

farewell my darling cecil, loki.

until next time!

Hihi!! I am feeling better! I was sick for a day or two but I’m ok now let’s gooo

Shoutout to going to the doctor three times in a weekend uwu

Awww I’m so flattered that you like my fashion sense, I literally dress like All The Transmascs™️ but i think I look good lol!! I mean clearly not all of them cause they all dress different but you know. I went on a hike with another trans guy and we were both wearing Hawaiian shirts it was so good. Did I tell you that already? Maybe lol

Rip yeah I used to hate winter cause my winter jacket was gross and puffy and ugly and I had gross boots and I’m like eewww but then mom took my old stuff and let me wear like Cool Person Clothes™️ and now I like it a lot better. Yeah I also don’t like going outside when it’s really really cold but I like the ambiance and I like being inside and looking at the cold u know and I’ll have fuzzy sweaters and hot chocolate and stuff. Rip, yeah weather do be getting more extreme because of le climate change and stuff

Omg I didn’t know there was a word for the mix of things...... it was just called caramel and cheddar popcorn mix when I bought it lol.

Omg yeah my dad will buy me anything lmaoooooooo he’s very loose with money on account of him being a communist so he doesn’t believe in it.

It’s just the one local McDonald’s but that store is a bitch. Subways pretty nice, sandwiches aren’t my thing but the pizza tastes like your last road trip so that’s that.

Side note, iconic what’s happening to food chains that won’t pay workers better? How they’re all like :,,((( no one will work here?? Fuck them I hope they end lol.

Glee is a basically a soap opera, it’s just a hardcore relatable one if you’re a dramatic bitch like me. I say this cause like. Some people like it because it’s dumb but it’s definitely dumb lmaooo. Wish gay stereotypes could stop being relatable af tho smh

Oh that’s also a really valid reason to join tumblr lol. Yeah my friend is pretty iconic, the one I joined with. And I got my wish, for it is indeed very gay here.

I talk to imaginary people a lot too. Usually I do fictional characters but sometimes I just make people up too. That’s different from this tho. I don’t know what it is, really, but it’s super cool. I want a dream friend. Is it worrying you, or are you just like ok neat? Cause I think brains are super cool and just make things a lot. It could be related to isolation, though, yeah. Brains make stimuli when there aren’t any. Anyways yeah say hi for me ig

You could always talk to me dude I’m cool with it. Nothing you could tell me would be the weirdest thing someone has told me so like *shrug* and also youre my friend so it’s chill

See u next time, bro!!!

[fymagnificentwomcn]

What are your thoughts about Silhatar Mustafa?

Mhm pretty much indifferent to him, but as many, deserved so much better?

I mean later on he was horrible, but he wasn’t himself anymore following Gevherhan’s death and his disastrous marriage to Atike.

When we meet him we know he’s Murad’s best friend and has a reputation as ladies man, seems like a guy seriously devoted to his work, but having a messy private life lol.

The person he seems most attached to was Murad, we see he is very much concerned about his well-being and happiness, for example he is very glad seeing Murad being happy after a ride with Farya (later changes his attitude towards her after the pig incident). He also has a soft spot for Ayşe (in platonic sense), which mirrors Ibrahim’s fondness for Mahi due to being treated as part of their family (and this relationship stays strong until the end, even in her last episode, he pleads on her behalf with Murad).

It’s clear he and Kösem aren’t great friends, but they both have learned how to co-operate with each other for Murad’s sake, he also seems to have similar relations with the rest of family – there doesn’t seem to be exceptional closeness between him and the rest of the family other than Murad, but everybody manages to get along.

The show starts when Mu/rat loses his previous main male favourite (and I don’t intend here any romantic undertons either ahaha) aka Musa, and Silahtar is given his position. In later flashback scene we see what Mu/rat expects of him – absolute loyalty. Obviously Musa has left big shoes to fill in and Silahtar is undoubtedly aware of this.

Suddenly Silahtar’s professional life and his messy private life intersect because he gets caught between two sultanas – one which he begins to have feelings for and the other who begins chasing after him for a change.

He was well aware Gevherhan might be too far above him and perhaps got scared about having for the first time real feelings for a woman, so he entered into what he thought a casual relationship with Ester. However, he could have sensed that Ester wanted something more, she was pretty vocal about bearing her loneliness aka widowhood badly and wanting to have someone by her side long-term. Then he actually did decide to pursue Gev and like he said start a new chapter with his life, close the previous messy private life and start anew with the woman he truly loved. He also intended to immediately come clean to Mu/rat and ask for Gev’s hand, even at the risk of being executed.

Ironically, what proved to be an obstacle was not where he actually was at fault (Ester), but where he was innocent (Atike).

As I said, Ester serves here as foil to Atike – she has much better reasons to be bitter and want revenge, but ultimately she draws a line and leaves the matter. And LBR nobody would have cared so much about her as about a sultana… but this sultana is lying, even if she herself believes in her delusions.

The whole situation truly gives me Atonement vibes, and as in Atonement it has a bad ending, but here it gets a bit more complicated because of Silahtar’s love and loyalty being connected also with another person – Murad.

I said it multiple times – in the end the real love triangle is Silahtar-Gevherhan-Murad.

As I mentioned in the beginning, from beginning Silahtar is very protective of his friend and sultan and also wants to do as best as he can in his job. He is also a bit naïve about Murad – during the Kasim matter, he scolds Kemankeş for having helped Kösem hide the truth, but he himself has no bad intentions and does not want Kasim hurt – he believes Murad will not pursue the matter as far as he ultimately does.

Similarly, he makes digs at Kemankes to not switch sides for Kösem’s.

When he asks Murad for Gev’s hand, he is sure his friend will treat him at least justly. But boy he was disappointed. Murad doesn’t even ask him about the whole matter and trusts Atike blindly. Then puts him in that praying cell to make Silahtar understand that the most important thing in his life is his padişah and absolute loyalty to him.

To make matters worse, once Silahtar is released from prison, his “friend” decides to complete the “lesson” with “absolute loyalty test” – marry Atike.

Murad is well aware Silahtar does not love Atike and does not want to marry her. He actually uses his beloved (?) little sis and traps her in marriage that has no chances of being ever happy to test Silahtar’s loyalty.

And Silahtar, traumatised and brainwashed by everything – chooses loyalty to Murad. Of course if he had said no, he would have been executed (though Gev would have more strength to live seeing he didn’t abandon her), but he still chooses a sad life trapped in his private life with a woman he now despises… what is left is truly only Murad and his service to him.

In a way, it’s strange that following Gev’s demise Silahtar becomes obsessed with the person who caused him this misery – but at the same he lost everything, all he has left is Murad, he made his choice, chose Murad, so now all he can do is stick to his choice and save what he still has.

When Murad comes to Silahtar when the latter is mourning Gevherhan we see he has learned his lessons by now – Murad is distraught because his mother told him he was guilty of his sister’s suicide, so Murad (as always) makes his friend’s pain be about him and asks whether it’s true. Silahtar now knows what answer Murad expects and states that “all our lives and our paths, life and death, belong to you” and remarks that if Gev had accepted Murad’s will as we all should, she would have been alive. It’s deeply sad to state, but Silahtar knows Murad truly wants no other answer than this. However, before Murad’s appearance, Silahtar recalled telling Gev that only she made him feel alive and now he tells Murad he is practically dead and trapped in his life, and that he needs to live with his pain and regret forever. He actually says similar thing to Atike - yes, he chose loyalty to Murad over the woman he loved and now has to bear the consequences for the rest of his life. Atike, of course, does not get it and still belives they might have a happy ending.

It’s a very dark reality for him now, no wonder he pretty much loses his mind out of this grief, and it only gets worse because he realises Atike will never divorce him and will not even rest until he tries to be a husband to her.

When he comes to her and they “kiss” he taunts her to divorce him and sees that even when he mocks her she’s so obsessed with him, she won’t go let go no matter what. Kösem actually would be happy to see Atike divorcing Silahtar because we know she never liked him, the only obstacle is Atike’s obsession. So later he tries to play the husband part even though it’s clear he continues to despise her.

Ironically, he develops sort of his own obsession, but with Murad. Pretty much tries to remove everyone around Murad and most sadly tries to turn Murad against his mother and brothers. He suggests both changing the law and putting Murad’s brothers to kafes, which is an action very uncharacteristic of his old self. Still, it’s clearly not a vendetta against Murad because we see he still clearly cares about him, e.g. when he hides from him the fact that Farya (whom he strongly dislikes) had connection with Murad’s children death. He does confide it in Kösem though because he knows that while she will scold Farya, she will also keep quiet not to cause Murad any more pain. It again proves that while these two never liked each other much, they were able to set their differences aside for Murad’s sake.

This is not just restricted to his family, but also to Murad’s other men – Abaza, Kemankeş – because he shows Murad the letter from Kösem to Kemankes not only to strike at her, but to make Murad doubt Kemankeş too and he taunts Kemankeş with being Kösem’s spy (which is true because now Kemankeş is reporting Kösem Murad’s tyrannical behaviour, the opposite of what he was sent to Kösem, I love this irony sm ngl)

Kemankeş however is not interested in becoming Murad’s male favourite, but a new serious rival pops up – Yusuf. And a new triangle emerges 😊 Silahtar cannot hide his jealousy at all, even Atike notices it, though as always she mistakes it as him being jealous of her, same with Kemankeş who taunts Silahtar that Yusuf’s relationship with Murad curiously resembles his relationship with “someone else”.

I really despair we didn’t get more of Silahtar/Yusuf/Murad thing NGL, but I’m sure it would have gone this way if Caner had not left the show, I doubt Silahtar would have ever abandoned Murad at that stage, especially since historically he was his most loyal man until the end (“the person who was always loyal and genuinely attached to him since his youth” as Du Loir suggests) and was even in terrible despair upon Murad’s death, sooo.

In short again, he’s not among my fave characters, but he truly deserved so much better because he was living in actual hell and dark place later on, and ironically Murad was well aware of this as he remarked over his body that “for some people living is so painful, they feel trapped and in chains, death is actually relief for them, and only those who remain suffer” (aka exact repetition of what Sil told Murad about Gev following her death).

- Joanna

[themanicgalaxy]

SPN 5X22 Swan Song

hoo boy ok let's do thi-

CARRY ON AMV I FORGOT ABOUT IT I LOVE IT

?? cars?

CHUCK?

ok the car

time to wax poetic about the car

"after a little advice, huh"

ah the bookends

ah Dean isn't happy about this

of course

"watching out for you is kinda who I am" ah jesus

"maybe I gotta grow up a little too" oh my god go get therapy

ooo loneliness motif

oh they're... actually summoning him

angels don't sleep

this is Quite Tense

ah detroit

"yeah I'm aware" yeah this is Firmly the Dean show now

don't bring me back of course

fucking lisa of course

aw no poor sam

man come on this sucks

take care of these guys uh that's not possible

"oh i'm supposed to lie" CAS AW

very Anger of course

ah there's luci

what is with the car, the whole "this is what the kids were like" what are they going for

yeah he knows, of course

the shared look that bobby and cas do ahaha

ok so he said yes to lucifer?

there we go, there's lucifer

aw nuts he just chanted the ring thing away :(

fucking detroit

...can't...can't have shit in...can't have shit in detroit

well...that went well

ah Sam's fighting of course

ooo the mirror thing heh

we're gonna make Sam Luke, Dean Han, and the third character Doesn't Matter, I promise

i"m yoUr rEal Family

Lucifer the gaslight champ

ah the people who have been possessed by demons, manipulating him

seriously the ruby/jess thing slowly makes more and more sense

"you don't have to be mean" dosa;foh AHAHA

CAS'S SOLUTION IS TO DRINK HIS PROBLEMS AWAY I LOVE HIM

Junkless sissy

"we are not giving up" oh boy

ah he's alone in this, bobby's got nothing too

he just killed So many people oh my god

hustling pool

driving so long for whatever

watch the stars

seriously at SOME POINT SHOW US THESE

the impala is home huh, is that what you're going for

he calls...chuckoh boy

he interrogates god about his dating choices

of course it's lawrence

something something bookends

"you've got the doing something stupid look" ha

this is blatantly unhealthy at this point DEAN

something something unending faith in his brother

hey is this what cas finds attractive?

heyyy it's Adam

he deserves better

do they...they don't look like they want to fight?

no why are they doing this then

"what's YOUR point" heh

Lucifer is saying things, but is it because of his own thing, or trying to help

ah "you're a monster"

the faith in the father/blames the father's things on the kid vs. lucifer

ROCK OF AGES???

it's both ur brothers dean-o

the fucking impala

you should have hit them with the car

you got no reason to be here pfft

"you're next on my list buttercup" IFAPSF

HEY ASSBUt CAS I LOVE YOU

"did you just molotov my brother with holy fire" "uh no"

ITHWAPRAP I LVOE YOU

"no one dicks with michael but me" sir

HE EXPLODED CAS?

lucifer you suck

man I will give it to Dean, he Makes himself a pain

Bobby was out of ideas too huh

ah yes just beat up your brother whee

man this shot is just like invincible

the ARMY MAN!! THE ARMY MAN

do you remember wh-

man this show does play on its own past a lot

like it mythologizes itself

it snapped him out!

in we go Sam

Michael what the fuck

both of them

man adam deserved better

ah yes the mourning

CAS!! HE BACK

man cas should have been god, it would have been so funny

"that's a nice compliment" heh

"new and improved" ??

EYY BOBBY

Bobby and Cas seem fun tbh

the writers reaching past the screen and telling you their job is Hard

heh Cas is the sheriff in town

aw Cas wants to go back to heaven

WhaT about Sam

"you got what you asked for" I meannnnnn yeah

"peace or freedom" hm

no come back that'S A COOL THING TO THINK ABOUT

this man wants to die jesus christ

his fucking promise to his brother saved him

ah of course obligatory Lisa

man he looks so young here

they chose family huh

"nothing ever really ends does it" DSFHIAFASPFI AHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA

and he Zaps away of course

ok wrap up for season 5:

1. I fucking love Cas. He's funny, he's so great, and also him with his metaphysical questions like Yes, give Dean existential crises

2. Cas and bobby was so fucking good

3. I love bobby

4. Adam SO deserved better

5. BOY do I see where the narrative thing comes from. Like what's the point, God makes them do things for shits and giggles

6. I mean I'd say bittersweet ending but I'm still fucking cackling/crying over "nothing ever really ends does it

boy ten more years of this and that's without the spin offs

7. Boy Dean's ANGST here, and Lisa ends up being incidental.

8. Man having the impala scenes would have been cake but I think they ran out of time. yes, it's BiG on the past(and on themselves), and on blood family, and this bond is OVERLY attached, I think they should probably all go to therapy

9. rock of ages was HILARIOUS I loved that needle drop

I think they should have hit michael with the car, but...man cas throwing a molotov at michael and then saying he didn't and assbutt was GREAT

whelp

[jokertrap-ran]

[Stand My Heroes] 挽夏のミステリーブライド (Late summer Mystery Bride) Event Story: Part ④ Translations [FINAL]

*Sutamai Master-list *MC name is retained default Izumi Rei *Scenario Writer: @eno_bara (榎戸乃ばら)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Special Stages

⋆⋅☆ Old Castle: Corridor ☆⋅⋆

Rei: ――!

Rei: (…I’m in the Corridors. And it’s back to being Afternoon now.)

Breathing, sight, warmth—All of the basic feelings of being acutely alive suddenly rushed back into my body. That was how I felt.

Rei: (The picture I received from him; it’s gone!)

I had my Smartphone in hand. Looking at the time, I saw that it was the exact same as the time I had originally left the Study to pick up the call.

Rei: (Am I back to reality?)

Gripping onto the cool doorknob of the door, I nervously sucked in a deep breath before pushing it open…

─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

⋆⋅☆ Old Castle: Study ☆⋅⋆

Hinata: …Oh. Are you done with your call?

Rei: Shion-kun…

─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

⋆⋅☆ Old Castle: Study ☆⋅⋆

Miyase: Is everything okay with work?

Rei: Yes…

I smiled as I replied him, but I couldn’t help keeping my eyes trained on Kujo, Kaname, Kirishima, Shindo and Shion, intently watching their every move.

Kaname: …Big sis?

Shindo: Did you see my other self again?

Rei: No, you never did appear again.

Shindo: Hah…?

Kirishima: …Rei, sit here.

I took a seat beside Kirishima as he prompted me to. Atop the table laid an open Album with a familiar photograph.

Rei: This…

Hinata: Yup. This is the only photo that has her looking directly at the camera.

Kaname: This letter was together with it.

Opening it after Kaname passed it to me, I could see the words “As thanks” written in beautiful font.

Miyase: It seems like the owner of this Castle helped her out back when she lost her footing on the steps.

She had told Ayanokouji Hirokimi, “Please allow me to thank you”. To which he had responded with, “Then, allow me to have a picture of that lovable trickster cat of yours.”.

“If possible, I’d love to snap a picture together with it’s owner. I’m sure it’ll make for a nice happy picture”.

Rei: (So he did have a chance to talk to her properly…)

But even so, he never did convey the feelings he had for her even till the very end. And now, he was chained down within this Castle with only his loneliness as company.

--And if what I witnessed earlier wasn’t just a fleeting mid-summer’s dream…

Shindo: What an opportunity. Wouldn’t someone normally ask for something of a high price in return?

Shindo: So the owner of this Castle was someone cowardly in the face of someone he fancies?

That’s…certainly how it looks like. It was a logical conclusion, coming from someone who has never contacted said person before. However, having been moved by the strange string of incidents, I found myself wanting to ask him more about it…

Rei: …Shindo-san, if someone you fancy had already had a lover,

Rei: Would you still convey your feelings to her and not be a coward?

Shindo: What—

Rei: Oh…Sorry, I was just curious.

Shindo: ……

Shindo: --I actually might.

Rei: !

Shindo: (But, that’s only if there’s even a woman out there who’ll out-win my thirst for money.)

Miyase: You’re a passionate one, aren’t you?

Kujo: ――

Shindo: Kujo, wipe that look off your face right this instant.

Kujo: But this is the face I was born with.

Shindo: You know that’s not what I meant.

Kirishima: WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH HIS ABSOLUTELY COOL AND BEAUTIFUL FACE!?

Kaname: This conversation’s going to moot again.

Hinata: Yaawn…I think I’m starting to get sleepy.

Was it a dream? Or had it been real?

It certainly felt real, but everyone was acting as per normal, as if that strange time I had spent earlier never happened. As such, I returned back to having a peace of mind. --But the information of “Kiyo-san” was ingrained into my memory.

Rei: (I’ll search her up once we get back and find out as much as I can!)

Having put my foot down on that matter, I— Continued staring at the picture that enclosed a sad past for a little while longer.

─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

--A few days later.

⋆⋅☆ Investigation Division One ☆⋅⋆

Asagiri: And here you are, right on time.

Rei: I apologize for coming in when you’re so busy.

Asagiri: I’ve gathered the documents here, regarding what you had spoken to me about previously on the phone.

He handed me an A4-sized tea-coloured envelope. Within it, was the information pertaining to “Niikiyo”.

Asagiri: She’s the daughter of one of the Japan’s Four Great Financial Groups, so there was a relative lot of information that’s known to public saved in the database along with some of her private un-disclosed information.

Rei: I’m truly thankful for this.

Asagiri: …So?

Rei: What?

Asagiri: I’m asking about what you said in the phone call. Are you really going back to see the “ghost” you mentioned, to report all of this information to him?

Rei: Well, yes…I did promise him that I would.

Asagiri: …I know someone from the Department of Psychosomatic Medicine who’s pretty good at what he does. I could introduce you.

Rei: Ahaha…I suppose it’s normal for you to think that I’m hallucinating it all.

Asagiri: ……

Rei: But I think I want to try heading back to that Castle once more.

Rei: And put this to an end, once and for all.

Asagiri: ……

I smiled a little comically as I faced Asagiri in all his muteness.

Rei: If I ever end up seeing anything weird after that…Then I’ll take you up for your referral offer.

Asagiri: --I’ll accompany you.

Rei: Eh? To the Hospital?

Asagiri: To the Castle. I want to try meeting this ghost, or whatever it is, too.

─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

⋆⋅☆ Inside the Car ☆⋅⋆

--Weekend.

I was seated in the Passenger seat of the car that Asagiri was driving.

Rei: Sorry. I made you come with me even though it’s a weekend.

Asagiri: I’m the one who decided to come.

Rei: But…

Asagiri: ……

Rei: (It kind of feels harder to talk to him than usual with the atmosphere in here…)

─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

⋆⋅☆ Old Castle: Corridor ☆⋅⋆

We headed down to the Corridors outside the Study, having told the Staff that we had “forgotten something”.

Asagiri: …So where’s this ghost you speak of?

Rei: The last time we saw him, the Teacup fell off the table of it’s own accord.

Rei: And the books flew out of its shelves.

Asagiri: …Ghosts don’t exist.

Rei: (Asagiri-san…)

─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

⋆⋅☆ Old Castle: Study ☆⋅⋆

Reaching the Study, I slotted the envelope with Kiyo-san’s information into the Album.

Rei: --Alright. Let’s go back, Asagi—

Asagiri: You have my gratitude.

Rei: !?

Asagiri: I never thought that’d you’d actually search into it for me.

Saying as such, Asagiri (?) picked up the Album and touched the envelope.

Asagiri: ……

Rei: You’re Ayanokouji-san, aren’t you?

Asagiri: ――Back when I was alive…

Asagiri: ―I thought that I’d lose everything, once the spark of life snuffed out.

Asagiri: ― Affections. Loneliness. Happiness, sadness…--All of it.

Asagiri: But I was mistaken. Everything still resides within me, as vivid as ever.

Asagiri: Affections, loneliness, happiness, sadness…--Therefore,

Asagiri: I wish to stay by you.

Asagiri: I cannot stand being alone any longer.

Rei: A-Asagiri-san…?

Asagiri: If I’m unable to stay by you, then I’d much rather I--…

Asagiri: That’s what I thought, back when I was alive. That’s why I took my own life.

Asagiri: It seems like she had apparently lived out a happy life, thanks to my death.

Asagiri: I’m glad; I really am.

The second he smiled, however-

Rei: Ngh…

I found myself hit by an intense bout of dizziness and had to hold onto the bookshelf to steady myself.

Asagiri: Izumi-san? Is something the matter>

Rei: Ah…

Asagiri: Are you feeling lightheaded?

Rei: Are you…Are you Asagiri-san?

Asagiri: Huh? I am. Why?

Rei: Of course you are…Of course. You are Asagiri-san.

Asagiri: ……

Rei: Sorry. I think I’m a little sleep-deprived.

Asagiri: Did you see something?

Rei: What?

Asagiri: Was the ghost here? Please do tell me more, in detail, if you’re able to explain it.

Asagiri: How was this ghost able to talk to a living person like you?

Rei: Um…

Asagiri: What’s the difference between people who can become ghosts and people who cannot? Please help me ask that ghost, if he’s still here.

Rei: …Err, I think he’s not here anymore.

Asagiri: ――

Rei: Asagiri-san…?

Asagiri: …Sorry. What foolishness have I spouted— We’re leaving.

Rei: (Ah-)

I couldn’t help but to blurt out the one question that was on the tip of my tongue as I saw his retreating back.

Rei: Asaigiri-san! Why are you so sure that ghosts do not exist?

Rei: And if you believe that they don’t exist, then why did you come along with me today…?

Asagiri slowly turned back around.

No emotions showed on his face. --Or rather, he was intentionally putting on a poker-face, but if I had to describe it, there was a hint of denial to his expressionless-ness.

Asagiri: There is no such thing as ghosts.

Asagiri: …Because I know that there’s no way you can meet someone who has died again.

Rei: ――

Asagiri: Let’s go.

I thought as I followed his retreating back this time.

I’m sure that there’s someone he wants to meet again, even if they were a ghost. But meeting them again is impossible, despite how much he wishes for it. That’s why he’s so determined that ghosts do not exist.

Rei: (…I don’t want to leave him alone like that.)

I know that it was arrogant of me to think so. Perhaps it was even out of my place. --But even so,

─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

Rei: Um! If it’s not any trouble to you, would you allow me to treat you to something as thanks for accompanying me here today!?

He came to a halt as he voiced a reply without turning back.

Asagiri: …Do I get to choose what we’re going to be eating?

Rei: Of course!

A split second was all it took. I heard shoes clicking against the Corridor’s flooring. Asagiri was coming back.

Asagiri: …Then, can we go to the Italian place nearby where there’s all-you-can-eat pizza?

Rei: Let’s go! There was a place like that nearby?

Asagiri: I looked up the places near this place, since we were headed here anyway.

Asagiri: It’s a place where you won’t be wasting any time, for you’ll be able to eat whatever you like—and loads more of the good things.

Rei: That’s a brilliant mind-set you have there.

Asagiri: Rather than it being a mind-set, I’d say…

Asagiri: --That it’s because we’re alive and kicking today as well.

───⋅𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝐸𝒩𝒟⋅☆

[sortaotaku]

Ikerev TW Secret Message Collection Event Story: 💐💖💛Edgar💛💖💐

I finished the translation for the 380 heart story! I really loved it a lot!

A dedication to the lovely ladies of the Edgar squad:

@edgarbright @littlelady-blackwell @kouei116 @ladyrinielbright @myotomespace @wishiwasfictionaltoo and anyone else who wishes to join!

魯冰花 代表 我 的 心情

愛德華

Lupine flowers represent my feelings

Edgar

在 某個 暖洋洋 、 誘人 睏倦 的 春日 午後 ~

A warm spring afternoon...

我 和 愛德華 一起 在 倉庫 中 整理 贈送 給 紅 之 軍團 的 禮物 。

Edgar and I were in the cellar/warehouse organizing the gifts that were sent to the Red Army.

愛德華 「 請 把 種類 和 地區 一併 區分 , 挑揀 出來 。 」

E - Please sort them into the different categories.

Alice 「 好的 ! 」

A - Ok!

愛德華 「挑選 出來 的 物品 , 之後 會 送往 能夠 好好 利用 的 小 隊裡 。 」

E - After we finish picking out the goods we can send them out to the teams/squads who will make good use of them.

倉庫 之中 , 雜亂 地 擺放 著 各種各樣 的 物品。

In the cellar all sorts of goods were scattered all over.

( 服裝 、 裝飾品 、 書 跟 畫 ... 送來 了 各種各樣 的 東西 呢 。 )

(Apparel, decor, books and paintings... All sorts of things were sent.)

愛德華 「 很重 的 東西 可以 不用 勉強 搬 的 。 」

E - You really don’t need to try to handle the heavy stuff. (A/N god bless you love... I have the weakest noodle arms)

Alice 「 我 知道 了 , 我 會 盡可能 努力 !」

A - I understand, I’ll try hard to the best of my ability.

我 避開 貌似 很重 的 木箱 , 打開 了 手邊 的 紙箱 。

I disregarded the heavy wooden crates and opened the cardboard boxes.

Alice 「 這些 是 愛德華 一個 人 的 工作 嗎 ? 」

A - Is this all Edgar’s work?

( 大家 一起 做 的 話 應該 能 更快 完成 吧 )

(It would be faster if everyone worked on this right?)

愛德華 「這 平時 都是 部下 的 工作 。 」

E - Usually this is the work of subordinates.

Alice 「 那 今天 為什麼 ? 」

A - Why are you doing this today?

愛德華 「 其實 為了 能 承擔 這份 工作 , 我 稍稍 斡旋 了 一 下 。」

E - Undertaking the task, I thought about it a while.

愛德華 「 因為 我 想 和 妳 共處 。 」

E - Because I want to be together with you.

Alice 「唔…」

A - Oh...!

帶著 甜美 意味 的 聲 線 , 在 倉庫 中 響起。

A sweet voice rung in the cellar

愛德華 「最近 能 共度 時間 很少 啊 。 」

E - Recently the time we have had together has been short.

愛德華 「妳 覺得 寂寞 了 嗎 ? 」

E - Have you felt lonely?

( 其實 , 我 覺得 非常 寂寞 但 如果 這麼 説 的話 , 會讓 他 擔心 的 吧 。 )

(Truthfully I have felt really lonely but if I were to say this aloud it would worry him)

Alice 「稍稍 有點 吧 ? 」

A - A little I guess?

愛德華 「 哎呀 , 是 這樣 嗎 ? 」

E - Aiya, is that so? (A/N I never refuse to write in aiya when it’s there)

愛德華 「 我 啊 都快 要 寂寞 死 了 。 」

E - I’ve been SOO lonely. (A/N he says lonely to death or dying from the loneliness)

Alice 「欸 ? 」

A - Eh?

愛德華 「 甚至 都 到 了 思考 是否 能 以 工作 為 藉口 與 妳 見 面 的 程度 。 」

E - It was to the extent that I had to resort to using work as an excuse to see you.

( …他 總是 這麼 狡猾 。 )

(... He is so...) (A/N Sly/cunning or good at making her feel embarrassed)

愛德華 溫柔 的 語言 , 讓 我 的 心 悸動 不已 ～

Edgar’s warm words made my heart flutter. (A/N literally saying that he moved her heart)

打開 紙箱 的 手 , 已經 徹底 停 了 下來 。

The hand that was opening the cardboard box had already stopped.

愛德華 「 怎麼 了 ? 妳 的 手 完全 沒有 動作 喔 。 」

E - What’s wrong? You hands have stopped completely.

Alice 「 啊 抱 、 抱歉 ! 」

A - Aah..! Sorry!

Alice 「 我 只是 …一 想到 愛德華 覺得 寂寞 , 就很 開 心…」

A - I... I just felt so happy knowing that Edgar was feeling lonely...

Alice 「 所以 有點 發呆 。 」

A - So I blanked out a bit.

愛德華 「 是 嗎 , 能讓 妳 開心 真是 再好 不過 …」

E - Is that so? Being able to make you happy is great.

愛德華 「雖説 是 藉口 , 但 工作 也要 認真 完成 才 可以 喔。」

E - Even though this was an excuse we still have to work hard to finish this task.

Alice 「 嗯 、 嗯 ! 那就 繼續 了 。 」

A - Yeah, let’s continue shall we?

在 那 之後 , 我 認真 地 進行 挑選 工作…

After that I continued to work hard sorting...

( 雖然 知道 應該 好好 做 )

(Even though I know we should do it properly)

但 單調 的 工作 和 春日 的 暖意 , 沒過多久 就 開始 讓 我 昏昏欲睡 。

But the bland work and the warmness soon made me feel sleepy.

我 一邊 將 書本 送到 指定 的 位置 , 一邊 吞下 了 個 哈欠 。

I simultaneously put a book in its proper place and held back a yawn.

愛德華 「 很 無聊 嗎 ? 」

E - Are you feeling really bored?

Alice 「 不 、 不會 ! 只是 稍微 有些 睏 了 」

A - No, no way! I just feel a bit sleepy

愛德華 「 這 可 不行 。 」

E - This won’t do.

愛德華 把 拿著 的 箱子 放下 , 來到 了 我 的 身邊 。

Edgar put down the crate he was holding onto and came to my side.

愛德華 「 讓 我 來 喚醒 妳 吧 。 」

E - Let me help wake you up then.

修長 的 手指 伸向 了 我 的 方向 ～

His slender fingers reached out in my direction.

( 欸 …? )

(Ehh..?)

接著 猛然間 , 開始 搔癢 我 的 側腹 。

Then all of the sudden he began to tickle. (A/N 😖😖😖 How evil)

Alice 「愛德華 呵呵 , 真是 坦率 的 反應 。 」

A - Edgar ahaha, what a thing to do...

我 難以 忍耐 地 扭動 身體 , 為了 逃避 搔癢 攻擊 而 遠離 愛德華 。

I tried to endure while twisting my body trying to escape the tickle assault and get away from Edgar.

愛德華 「 不會 讓 妳 逃 的 。 」

E - I won’t let you get away!

(啊 … )

(Ah...!)

聲音 從 背後 迫近 , 我 像是 被 包裹 住 一樣 被 從 身 後 抱住 。

The voice came from behind, I felt surrounded when I suddenly got back hugged. (A/N hugged from behind)

愛德華 「妳…清醒 了 嗎 ? 」

E - You feel awake now?

耳邊 的 聲音 帶著 細微 性感 意味 , 讓 我 的 內心 狂 跳 。

The sound of his voice which was entering close to my ear had an incredibly warm and sexy quality to it that made my heart leap. (A/N same tho and this wasn’t even voiced)

Alice 「 嗯 、 嗯 」

A - Ah, ah—

愛德華 「聲音 還 帶有 睏 意 喔 ? 」

E - Is the sound making you sleepy?

Alice 「沒 …這 回事… 」

A - That’s not the case...

愛德華 「 接下來 , 我 會讓 妳 清醒 過來 的 。 」

E - My next action, I will make you feel awake.

( 嗯… ? )

(Oh..?

下 個 瞬間 柔和 的 嘴唇 輕 咬住 我 的 耳廓 。

His soft lips touched me as he nibbled on my ear. (A/N AHHH ARE YOU ALL SEEING THIS???!?)

Alice 「 呀 ! 」

A - Yahh!!!

愛德華 「 早安 。 」

E - Good morning.

我 慌忙 回應 他 裝模作樣 的 爽朗 聲音。

I hurriedly reacted to his smooth voice.

Alice 「 早 、 早 ! 已經 不要緊 了 ! 現在 生龍活虎 的 …！」

A - Morning!! It’s not a problem anymore, I’m completely awake and ready..!

愛德華 「 呵呵 , 那就 拜託 了 。 」

E - Hehe then I’ll leave you to it.

( 嚇 我 一跳 真的 清醒 過來 了… )

(Hoh... That scared/shocked me awake)

愛德華 「 如果 還 覺得 睏 的 話 , 請 隨時 告訴 我 喔 。 」

E - If you start feeling sleepy again please don’t hesitate to call for me anytime.

Alice 「 不 、 不要緊 ! 多虧 了 愛德華 我 已經 完全 清醒 了 …! 」

A - Oh no! I’m good! Thanks to Edgar I’m definitely awake!

我 用 清醒 的 腦袋 , 迅速 地 進行 挑選 工作 …

I made use of my fully alert brain while continuing to sort.

愛德華 「 …已經 大致 分清 了 呢 。 」

E - It seems we’re just about done.

Alice 「 但是 , 還 剩下 這個 。 」

A - But, we still have this left.

我 拿著 不知 如何 放置 的 花束 , 對 愛德華 説道。

I held out the unknown bouquet while speaking to Edgar.

Alice 「這 束 絹花 的 花束 , 該 怎麼 辦 呢 ? 」

A - What are we going to do about this?

紅 與 粉色 間 還 混著 紫色 魯冰花 的 花束 , 雖然 是 絹花 卻 十分 艷麗 。

The bouquet of lupins were pink and purple, they definitely were beautiful.

愛德華 「 就 送給 妳 吧 。 」

E - You should have it then.

Alice 「 欸 , 這 是 送給 軍團 的 東西… 」

A - Eh, but this was something given to the army.

愛德華 「呵呵 , 開玩笑 的 。 」

E - Hehe. That was a joke

愛德華「 送給 妳 的 禮物 , 我 會 全部 準備 的 。 」

E - A gift for you, I will have it all prepared.

Alice 「 謝 、 謝謝 , 我 也 想 從 愛德華 那裡 收到 禮物 。 」

A - T-thank you, I would love to receive a gift from you.

愛德華 「 那麼 , 這份 禮物 妳 意下 如何 ? 」

E - Then how do you feel about this gift?

愛德華 如同 魯冰花 一般 華麗 的 笑容 靠 了 過來 輕輕 落下 一 吻 。

Edgar with a smile beautiful like the lupin flower gently placed down a kiss.

Alice 「...」

A - ...

愛德華 「 哎呀 , 這樣 不足以 滿足 妳 嗎 ? 」

E - Aiya, did that not satisfy you?

愛德華 的 臉 再次 輕輕 靠近 …

Edgar’s face again began to approach...

Alice 「 嗯 …」

A - *Gulp*

在 輕觸 的 親吻 後 , 嘴唇 變換 角度 深深 重疊 在 一 起 。

After the light kiss his lips repositioned and our lips overlapped.

Alice 「 啊 …嗯 ～ 」

A - Ah-Ahh~

愛德華 的 熱度 , 從 觸碰 的 唇瓣 間 傳遞 了 過來 。

Edgar’s warmth was felt through our lips.

宛如 蘊含 著 特別 心意 地 禮物 般 , 毫無保留地 將 之 贈予 給 我。

A gift with special feelings, delivered with no hesitation.

( 愛 、 愛德華… )

(E-Edgar...)

貼 合 的 唇瓣 在 漫長 的 時間 中 , 最終 有些 遺憾 地 分離 , 而 夢幻 的 水 聲 便 在 此刻 輕輕 響起 。

After a while our lips parted regrettably. The pleasant sound of water was present in this moment.

愛德華 「 開心 時光 的 回禮 , 不 做到 這種 程度 可 不行 呢 。」

E - A return gift would not be acceptable if it wasn’t at least like this.

我 的 雙頰 因 甜美 的 親吻 而 沉醉 , 暫時 沒 能 收斂 擺正 表情 。

Intoxicated by his kiss my expression was temporarily frozen.

愛德華 「 話説 回來 …是 ���冰花 嗎 ? 現在 和 我 的 心情 非常 匹配 呢 。 」

E - So getting back on topic. The lupin flower is it? I matches well with my mood right now.

Alice 「 為什麼 ? 」

A - How come?

愛德華 「 保密 。 」

E - That’s a secret.

(... ? 這麼 神秘 反而 讓人 更 在意 啊... )

(...? Ah such secrecy ends up making people feel even more curious)

那一晚 , 我 在 書本 中 找尋 魯冰花 所 代表 的 涵義 ...

That night I looked up the meaning of the lupin flower in a book.

在 得知 它 的 花語 是 『 一直 都很 幸福 』 後 , 我 的 笑容 也 變得 漸漸 難以 掩飾～

I found that it’s meaning is “always being happy” and it became hard to hold back my smile.

🌷💐🌷💐🌷💐🌷💐🌷💐🌷💐🌷💐🌷

As I mentioned I’m a bit quiet with posting because of my spending ban but hopefully this makes up for it~ ❤️❤️❤️

I didn’t proof read at all bc it reminds me of writing papers haha. Hopefully nobody minds.

Jonah’s will be next!

[n0t-actually-satan]

rating cwmay songs

okay nO one except me cares about this and lovelytheband is criminally underrated but yeah I wanted to do this so why not :)

flowers - on my grave - oh my god. this song. this fucking song. I need it like oxygen. I listen to it everyday. the desperateness of it gives me so many emotions. and the synth thing going on in the chorus is awesome. I think the lyrics are really interesting and incredible. it’s so catchy and while it’s sad it totally makes you wanna get up and dance. plus I think it really shows off Sam’s drumming and I’m here for that. one of those songs that just leaves you with a feeling...

i hate myself - w o a h. I love this song so much. I honestly love songs that sound like this, with funky chords and lots of fun, interesting noises. again, I love the contrast between the verse and the chorus. it starts out just with the quite, sad, and kind of bitter vocals and piano, and then there’s just an explosion of sound and it turns into a whole bop. I really love the loud drums there. you can even tell the difference in Mitchy’s voice between the points, he sounds kind of quiet and reflective on the verses, then bold and bitter on the chorus and it really makes the difference. I also like how they strayed from the typical synth after the chorus to whistling, it’s really interesting and fun.

silly - the way this song set up the end of the album... I remember listening to the album for the first time and I was just like “THIS IS SO GOOD” and then like every song after that I was just vibing to so hard. I’m alWays a whore for a good sax solo, too, which you now know from how high I rated waste. and the lyrics so exactly hit how it feels as you’re getting over someone... wondering if they really care I guess. and the way all the instruments come together to sound so uncertain, especially at the bridge, is pretty amazing. fucking amazing, honestly.

emo - oh shit. this might get long. what an incredible song. the way it just comes in with that sweeeeet guitar sound. and the first verse just already sets up the vibe of the song immediately. and the synth part that starts after the first verse and goes through the song is so catchy and fun. I love the melody on the chorus and I think Mitchy sings it amazingly. and the way it hones in on his voice near the end but then you hear those drums and you’re just like oh hEck yeah it’s not over and you get another chorus and you’re just rocking out and singing along. this song is one of the simplest on the album I would say, but it’s a nice contrast. so simple, but so good and so catchy. it’s constantly stuck in my head. love. it. so. much. makes me feel better about being called emo in middle school haha.

buzz cut - ah yes, the last single. this song got me so hyped for the album. it’s so unlike any of the other lovelytheband songs, like, it’s happy??? what is that??? in all seriousness though, they should do happy more because they do it so well, surprisingly. from the very beginning you know it’s gonna be awesome. the line “it’s only a feeling, until you make it more than that” I really like. but it’s the chorus that really makes it. I don’t know what the effect on Mitchy’s voice is but I love it so much. and to be perfectly honest I did think the post-chorus was kinda dumb until I realized that I, too define periods of my life by my hair decisions. I’m only a little disappointed they didn’t shave Mitchy’s head in the video... but I really like his hair it’s so iconic so I guess it’s a good thing. but enough of that rambling. I don’t usually like really cheesy love songs but I can’t help but love this one. it’s just being so shamelessly in love and I love that, but it also sounds more real that a lot of pop songs. it’s the kind of song that always cheers you up and makes you believe in love again.

loneliness for love - someone will probably come at me for this. sorry. it’s a bop for SURE that’s why it’s ranked six. I seriously love it, love the guitar part, love the lyrics, it’s so upbeat yet sad which I love and who can’t say it’s relatable? but I gotta say this album is so packed full of bangers it’s still sixth. it’s probably also a little because this was the first single to come out and songs are more exciting when you’ve listened to them less I would say.

waste - I really like how this one starts, sounding so distant, before it all comes in. one of my favs of the singles. the chorus though, it’s so dramatic and emotional. it really just so well describes the feeling of falling apart I guess. I can really relate to feeling stuck and wanting to give up. and I just LOVE the line of “mixing glitter with my tears” like seriously, what beautiful imagery. and the sax solo is EVERYTHING. brings the entire song together with the mournfulness, I guess. then there comes that moment where it’s suddenly all quiet and still and then BOOM it all comes out again so dramatically. definitely one of my favs. I listened to this so much when it first came out, though I have to admit, I’m vibing a little more with the newer songs now.

love somebody else - ahaha this one’s too relatable. but omg, the instrumental part after the chorus? it hits so hard. such a wordy song, unusual for lovelytheband, but I really like it. I don’t really know what’s going on in the lyrics but I do think they’re really interesting and I like to try and figure about what they mean lol. and the contrast from the verse to the chorus is awesome, the way it’s kind of cluttered and quiet to dramatic and loud simple. love it.

idwgtyp - I think this is only fourth because I’ve heard it so many times now it doesn’t have the same thrill it did at the beginning. still amazing tough. the instrumental part with all the bass in amazing. and I love how it stops and then it comes back, just building the excitement. the ending is sO satisfying as it goes down. the HUHs are a little weird though, I have to say.

i should be happy - I usually prefer lovelytheband’s more upbeat songs. but this one is really something. the quiet voice and the piano just tells so much with so little. the little sounds in the background I don’t know how to describe make it more interesting. the only thing I don’t like about this song is the weird effects on Mitchy’s voice. idk. I just don’t really like them idk why.

drive - I like this song. but I do find it a bit boring after awhile. I think it would be good at putting me to sleep and I mean that in the best possible way. very chill and pretty. but a little dull.

your favorite one - beautiful. simply. beautiful. this song gives me so many f e e l i n g s. I really like the weird robotic voices thing? it’s cool and unlike any other song, gives it an interesting vibe. and the arrangement is really, really nice. it is a bit long though, I have to say

when you’re lonely - interlude - it’s just kinda lacking substance. which makes sense for an interlude. I have no criticism, there’s just a ton of great songs on here and they can’t all be at the top. it really does hit you hard when it’s like dark, and quiet, and you’re sad and your just like w o w. it definitely hits different.

conversations with myself about you - meh. honestly I’m not a huge fan. don’t come at me. it’s not really a song it’s just some voices and then one line. I always skip it.

wow. that was honestly way harder than I expected. like I expected it to be hard, but like, the top five took forever to decide on. anyway this took me almost two hours but it was worth it. if you haven’t listened to the album yet, do it. do it now. or face the consequences. :)

anyway. this album is such a masterpiece. I loved finding it hard to smile but I gotta say I think cwmay takes the cake. I can’t wait to see what lovelytheband makes next and see if my favorites keep changing...

[i-love-him-on-purpose]

the half of it liveblog

LET’S GO I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS SINCE MARCH hi. my name is abby, and this is me watching the half of it

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

i have big gay expectations for this movie

as an asian wlw, i do NOT want to be disappointed

starting NOW

fuck YES this animation is beautiful

plato. this movie is already calling out my dumb gay ass

they did really good casting with ellie! imagine having a movie with high schoolers that LOOK LIKE HIGH SCHOOLERS

chugga chugga chu chu? SQUARE UP BITCH

OMG paul and ellie’s first meeting is iconic

“i’m not looking to cheat” “no one is”

“gET a thESaURus uSE a speLLcHecKer gOOd luCk rOMeo”

this is an accurate representation of hold times istg

IS THIS A MEET CUTE?!

aster looks so tired but wowowowowow she is hecking beautiful

ellie is a disaster gay

exhibit 1: staring at aster in band

exhibit 2: “i’m ellie chu?!?!?!”

exhibit 3: more staring in the hallway

staring/longing is the peak gay experience

she is FINALLY charging acceptable prices for writing

i’d ask $15 for two page

maybe she just loves writing

can’t relate

“SHE’S LIKE ALL THREE” paul you eloquent mf

he’s a ROMANTIC... but so bad with words omg

“yah my grandma’s dead wanna go out with me”

“love makes you screwy. don’t you get screwy?”

istg you dumb jock ily

in love, one always starts by deceiving oneself... and ends by deceiving others

PAUL OMG

i LOokED uP PLaiGiAriZed

...

wow i had to stop for like 8 minutes there to properly watch their letters play out

the way alice wu spins this story is absolutely gorgeous

aster and ellie are so in sync and understanding of each other

the art, the words, the letters

everything just meshes together perfectly and i’m already in love with their story, whether or not there’s a happy ending

oh ho ho... paul....

no but he’s totally right

dating is burgers and fries and ice cream and whatnot

love is what ellie and aster have been doing– the talking and the listening and the understanding

smithcorona ahaha

“i love... nazis” paul you good there

oh honey you understand nothing

LMAO i love how ellie’s riding away on her bike and paul’s just bent over in the background PERFECTLY poised to pick up a rock

YES! jock + lesbian friendship

“hi ellie chu’s dad” has the same energy as “mr. jack’s dad” and “mr. sir” if u know what i’m talking about (check, please! mutuals hi)

yeSSIR yeSSIR

i love how paul just treats this like drills he has to run

jocks, man

PFPDFSLDKJF HE GOT FASTER AHAHAHA

why do neither of them know how to play ping pong istg

i love one (1) girl that laughs at horror movies

omg my anxious ass would be terrified if i thought someone was watching me

oh, i thought that line was about aster

but it still makes sense in a friendship way

and this IS a friendship movie so it does make sense

my coward ass would’ve never brought a boy home in high school

especially not to my enthusiastic italian father

besides i only ever dated one person and she was a girl and i hadn’t come out to my parents yet

kudos to ellie

oh i just realized that aster’s christian

does that influence her views on lgbtq?

probably

oh, ellie

watching that made me tear up

god, falling for someone who doesn’t know that you’re you

this english teacher is fckin hilarious

and also totally not a romantic lmao

OMG FATHER SHANLEY

AHAHAHAHA

“world’s asleep. more room for secrets”

now THAT’S what love feels like

falling in love with the little things

wait he doesn’t say “you like aster?”

THEY SCAMMED US

...does he support her or not

paul munsky say something

oh he realizes that he doesn’t know what love is not that ellie likes aster

“if love isn’t the effort you put in”

i love this friendship and paul’s quiet wisdom

oh boy there are weird chewing noises

TACO SAUSAGE!

aww paul’s a romantic and ellie’s hilarious

seeing “guy” makes my heart hurt

aw ellie have a little faith in our dumb jock <3

this is so cute and super awkward

i feel like i did this at some point in high school

OMG PAUL WHAT ARE YOU DOING

what just happened

awww he’s so enthusiastic

bitch what the fuck is “a look”

CONSENT

wtf is this a fucking rave

WTF ARE YOU BITCHES DOING

are high schools like this now??? is everyone fucking horrid?

yes girl play your song

wait a sec can they all hear her without a mic

she wrote that? that’s so sweet <3

awwwwwwww

but that’s so cliché

it’s literally high school musical

oh boy now she’s POPULAR?

i love their friendship so much

OOP

awwww I LOVE THEIR FRIENDSHIP

omg what? shoes in the house? shoes ON THE BED? DISGRACE PAUL MUNSKY

jk him caring for her is literally so cute

i’m glad we can have that platonically

she did that for him? aww

the way she spits out the advil is hilarious

OMG ASTER?!?

i bet she thinks ellie and paul are dating

oof

“it’s paul’s chinese friend” who the FUCK do you think you are? STEP THE FUCK UP KAREN

oh it’s the daisy!

it’s gorgeous

i feel like aster definitely suspects something

OH THEY’RE SPENDING THE DAY TOGETHER

i have no idea what she does at the station?!?

“SECRET PLACE” oh lawd

aster definitely knows it’s ellie

i wish i had a secret pond

but alas

i am just a poor city girl

ellie is a disaster gay and i am living for it

LONG UNDERWEAR ellie is prepared for all situations

paul is so sweet that’s adorable

“i don’t think i’ve ever hung out with a girl and not talked about boys before” the GAY is showing and i love it

but love isn’t about feeling safe

it’s about feeling adventurous but being safe

you’re in HIGH SCHOOL why tf r u thinking about marriage?

oml don’t get married to trig he’s a fucking idiot

i lowkey thought they were going to kiss

and then ellie “i am a RUSSIAN DOLL of clothing!!1!1!”

sdlkfjsdlkf

AHADHSFDSJFLDSKFJLESKF PAUL LOOKS SO NERVOUS

when my asian mom did this, my white dad would look just like him, even after literally decades of marriage

WOAH the visuals

just... two people looking at the same sky

so intimate

“gravity is matter’s response to loneliness”

that’s so deep but all i can think of is r/showerthoughts

just two girls discussing their deepest beliefs and secrets in a spring

i would like to do that pls

lmao ellie’s dad and paul are besties now

oh

oh ellie

COLLEGE you deserve to go to college!

omg aster and paul’s height difference

paul’s siblings are hilarious lmao

SLDKFJSDL “A BUNCH OF GUYS SNIFFING EACH OTHERS’ BUTTS” is maybe the most accurate description of high school sports

guess all that running really paid off paul

“squahamish scores for the first time in 50 yrs” i-

ellie trying to finesse the yakult is the funniest thing

what the FUCK just happened

what

what

what

that was like watching a train wreck in slo-mo

paul WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?

WHAT THE FUCK

dkjlsfdksjlfkldsjf

i have zero words.

...trig

is he ok

who sprayed him? was it paul or ellie’s dad??

oh god literally all three of them are ruined

paul! he’s trying! and that matters!

he’s been taught to condemn it

but he supports his friend first and foremost

so he tries to understand and accept it

...oh no paul’s mother

ellie looks so sad :(

ugh i’m crying

she had to grow up too quickly because of her mother’s death

“have you ever loved someone so much you don’t want anything about them to change?”

i’m so emotional

SKSKSK “i had to grind something” homophobic mother looks up

the fuck is “little lady”

oh i get it he’s proposing

trig is literally the human manifestation of microaggression

ASTER DON’T DO IT

ELLIE?!

the painting metaphor is back and i am not ok

AND I OOP- she slapped him ok ok ok

“mommy wants you to know that in case you are gay, mommy still loves you” “no mom i’m not gay” “thank god” “i might want to change your sausage recipe though” “are you INSANE?” THIS IS AN EXACT PARALLEL to when bitty came out and mama bittle still loved him but then the JAM (hello again check please mutuals if ur still here ily)

lmao the english teacher “now that is some divine intervention” she is neutral evil and i am LIVING for it (bet she’s wlw too)

“you don’t mean dead, right” SLDFKJSDL

“love is messy and horrible and selfish... and bold.” -ellie chu

that’s fucking beautiful

aster looks... so tired

COLLEGE YES SHE’S GOING TO COLLEGE

i have no words i just want to watch this and cry

they kissed.

they KISSED.

“i’ll see you in a couple of years”

i love that they don’t end up together

that they know that they should wait, that it’s not their time yet

because love is “the trying, and the reaching, and the failing”

ellie looks so happy

she’s comfortable in her own skin

FINALLY

she deserves everything

omg the emojis slap

her dad’s conductor? station master? idk but he’s working again and i’m so proud of him

is paul seriously giving her sausage

lmao

“too smart to be crying on the platform like a wussy” “i’m not crying” “wussy” underrated exchange of the year

paul chasing after ellie on the train is so sweet

i’m sobbing

“moron”

ugh

she looks so content and i love that for her

that’s the end

if you made it this far, congrats! 

overall 10/10

it’s such a sweet movie it’s well paced, well written, and well shot

time to go see if there’s any fic

bye!

[ua-monoma]

.10.20.

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

...

v-shinsou

[shinsou is online]

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Oh...

v-shinsou

...

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

...

Hello again...

v-shinsou

... hello

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

I wasn't sure if you'd come back.

You seemed pretty adamant to avoid talking with us the last time...

v-shinsou

well, surprise or whatever...

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Yeah...

v-shinsou

yeah...

not like i have many other options

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Hahahahahaa.

Yeah.

v-shinsou

yeah...

youre one of the ones that are... supposed to be here, right?

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

That's some... interesting wording... What does that mean?

v-shinsou

youre not from another timeline or whatever, right?

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Oh. No. I'm not.

v-shinsou

huh...

you were a hero student, right?

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Am.

I'm... currently taking a bit of a leave of absence, ahahaa... A personal vacation.... hahaha.

v-shinsou

a vacation to... here?

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Haha. Ha.

...hehehe...

Yes, it's a little ridiculous when you put it like that, ha...

v-shinsou

... yeah...

why? [deleted]

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█ ...

v-shinsou

...

shouldnt you maybe... not admit to still considering yourself a hero student in here?

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

... Hm?

Oh... Perhaps you're right, I suppose I should keep the delusion I'm operating under more of a secret, a private... thing....

But then I'd miss all the opportunities for such delightful pity... Oh, poor Monoma, so broken, he still doesn't realize, hahahaa, let's coddle him and do what we can...

No, you're right, there are better strategies, I suppose... I suppose I. Oh. ... yes... I suppose I've been slipping....

v-shinsou

yeah...

normally, saying that kind of stuff is how you get tortured or just... disappear.

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Maybe that's what I want.

I've got such a penchant for being tortured, after all! I was thinking of making it a career of sorts, actually...

Not very familiar with the underground, but I'm sure there's a thriving business there for that very thing...

Not that my captors here would allow me to be shared in such a way, oh no, all so selfish, ahaha...

v-todoroki

Neito...

v-shinsou

...

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Todoroki-kun! Hello... I was just thinking about you.

v-todoroki

Were you?...I've been worrying about you.

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Worried...? Ah.

Why? Hm.

Well, I'm glad you're here... I wanted to tell you that I missed you. Too.

I miss you, too. Haha.

...Don't be worried about me...

v-todoroki

I am. I will be.

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Why...?

v-todoroki

I care about you.

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

... Aha... oh.

v-shinsou

gross... [deleted]

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

...

v-todoroki

Keep in touch. If I can help let me know.

[shouto. is idle.]

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

...

v-shinsou

ugh...

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Aha... My apologies... having such a conversation in front of a third party... not the most considerate of us...

v-shinsou

whatever...

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

...

v-shinsou

youre certainly...something... for a hero student

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

... I'll take that as a compliment.

v-shinsou

...

it wasnt one. [deleted]

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█ ...

Ah. Anyway.

Enough about me,,,

Have you gotten used to our universe yet? I understand it's a jarring experience...

v-shinsou

what kind of question is that...

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Um.

v-shinsou

no, i havent

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Okay... sorry.

v-shinsou

...

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

I didn't... mean to offend... just thought it'd be a topic of conversation, maybe...

Sorry.

I'll just stop trying. Stop... talking. A...ha... ah...

This is so wrong, I hate it, I don't remember this being so hard...

v-shinsou

what are you on about?

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Sorry.

v-shinsou

whatever...

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Habit, bad habit...

v-shinsou

friendly reminder, im not the version of me youre used to

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

...

v-shinsou

you should get used to that instead of pretending, hero student

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Okay. Sorry.

v-shinsou

mhhm...

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

It's... an adjustment... I just have to adjust... alright...

v-shinsou

yeah.

whatever...

it's certainly not nice to be dropped into a completely different timeline where i have like, virtually nothing.

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

... Yes... I'm sure that'd be at least moderately terrible...

v-shinsou

yeah, moderately...

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Aha...

v-shinsou

what?

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Nothing in particular...

v-shinsou

that so?

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

If you really wanted to analyze my every reason for laughing, we'd be here all night and day, probably...

Not that I'd mind that, I suppose...

Ahah.

v-shinsou

...

id have to care about you to want to analyze your laughter [deleted]

no thanks.

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Aha... 'twas merely a joke, it wasn't an invitation...

v-shinsou

... yeah, whatever...

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

...

v-shinsou

are a lot of the things you say supposed to be jokes or something?

or are you just... like that? [deleted]

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Considering how representative they are of my life, yes. I suppose they are.

v-shinsou

...

was you saying that you wanted to take care of me some sort of weird joke too?

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

If you'd like to take it that way, sure.

v-shinsou

...

youve got a pretty fucked sense of humor...

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Comes from being pretty fucked up.

v-shinsou

for a hero student [deleted]

yeah...

totally didn't pick that up when you were telling me how much of a masochist you are [deleted]

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

...

You really dislike me...

v-shinsou

why wouldnt i, hero student?

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

...

v-shinsou

what?

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Nothing.

v-shinsou

...

whatever

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Lot to adjust to, is all.

Why even continue this conversation, if you hate me so...? Why are you wasting your time?

v-shinsou

... you just answered your own question

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

...?

v-shinsou

im wasting time, since ive got nothing better to do right now

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Ah.

v-shinsou

why talk to me if you know that i dont like you?

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Masochism, as you aptly pointed out earlier. Or, maybe I just keep hoping to change your mind. Or, maybe I'm using this conversation to make myself feel worse. Or, loneliness, as my dear friend mentioned the other day... again, another thing I could go on all night and day about.

My actions of late haven't made much sense. So.

v-shinsou

change my mind?

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

...

That is what I said, yes.

v-shinsou

you want me to change my mind about what exactly? you?

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

I suppose.

v-shinsou

how exactly do you want me to change?

...

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

I don't know, exactly...

Haha, I just don't love being hated, is all... It's fine, don't even worry...

v-shinsou

no one does, hero student whatever... should get used to being hated if youre going to continue with your 'vacation'

@v-aizawa

My, I see another new face has been added since I was last online. And the lost little lamb is here as well.

v-shinsou

creep.

@v-hawks

...

v-shinsou

...

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

... Fantastic... Always wonderful when we're all getting along...

v-shinsou

shut up.

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Haha.

v-shinsou

[control freak is idle]

n-hawks

...

@v-kaminari

yeesh thats a mess n a half

n-hawks

mess...

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

... You're someone I'm unfamiliar of...

v-hawks

ahh...

v-kaminari

oh! that is right! i also dont know you all either so thats. funny. yeah.

n-hawks

...

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

... Are you going to introduce yourself, then...

v-kaminari

i dont really wanna reveal my name yet i dont think but.......hiiiiiiiiii im. attempting at becoming a more powerful villain, thats about it for now

n-hawks

powerful... villain...

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Fine way to attempt it. By staying hidden.

...

Though, I suppose it works for some...

Tch...

v-hawks

hahahaa.. doesn't it.

i'm hawks.

n-hawks

hawks...

v-hawks

so is he.

n-hawks

...

v-kaminari

well, its not like i wanna be Popular or anything....yet, at least, i wanna work more on things and laying low while i gather more um. resources and allies.. sounds best doesnt it? sounds more fun if i can fully emerge with a bang

v-shinsou

[control freak is no longer idle]

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

But you've already emerged, haven't you...? Just by being here, you already have a presence... you'd think, if you wanted a more impressive presentation, you'd have one right from the start...

v-kaminari

true i did fuck that up a little....i got lonely :(

v-shinsou

who's this?

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Hahahhaaa.... isn't that adorable...

v-kaminari

well, since the bitch pointed out my plan was flawed i shall reveal my name, so sad i messed it all up not fun

im denki kaminari, dont rat me out sweetheart

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

...

Aha, alright...

v-shinsou

another hero student double...

v-hawks

lovely...

v-kaminari

the hell you mean by that?

v-hawks

gettin to look like a fuckin daycare round here.

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

I hate this... I hate this...

v-shinsou

... wouldnt you get a kick you of that, creep?

v-hawks

kaitou..?

n-hawks

kaitou...

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

I hate this.......... I hate this...........

n-hawks

hate...

v-shinsou

maybe you should've picked a better place to vacation, hero student

v-hawks

hey, calm down..

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Hahaha.

Wouldn't matter.

All these replications... you all follow me around... like cockroaches... doesn't matter where I go, God, there's so many of you now...

I hate it I hate it I hate it

v-shinsou

cockroaches, huh?

v-kaminari

well um. i think that would be my cue to leaaaavee i do NOT wanna make an enemy like. 5 minutes into chillin with my villains....does not sound FUN so im gonna make like a library book and check out-

[shocker is offline]

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

...

v-shinsou

ugh...

guess even the doubles of hero students are annoying

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

...

v-shinsou

hopefully the double of you that pops out isn't as self centered as you are

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

... me...?

There won't be a double of me...

v-shinsou

how can you be so sure?

dont we follow you like... cockroaches?

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

...

v-shinsou

what? youre the one that said it

im just making sure that you dont forget

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

"Forget"... aha

I have a headache my head hurts

v-shinsou

poor you

maybe thats a sign that its time for your vacation to fucking end

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

...

This is so tiring... I don't understand what you're doing... tired... tiring... if you want to hurt me so badly, I'd rather you just do it in person... tiring...

Since it makes you feel better... clearly does... why delay yourself the fun you'll clearly have...

v-shinsou

oh fuck you

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

What... why are you angry now...

v-shinsou

not really into torturing people, sorry to disappoint.

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

You want to act like a bully, I'm allowing you the full opportunity... You clearly want to prove your dominance somehow, I'm trying to give that to you.....

v-shinsou

...

if i wanted to bully you, i'd be a hell of a lot fucking crueler to you

just run back to ua already, hero student

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

So you're a bully that can't commit. Somehow that's even worse.

v-shinsou

stop calling me that.

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Make me.

v-shinsou

...

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Don't you fully have the ability to? C'mon. I'll be the only one who even lets you use your little quirk on them.

I'll answer anything you like.

v-shinsou

oh fuck off already...

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

You don't like me when I try to help you, you don't like me as the victim, you don't like me giving you everything you obviously want... ahaha, you are so hard to please...

v-shinsou

help me?

someone like you will never fucking help me.

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

You don't know anything about me.

v-shinsou

youre one of the lucky ones

none of the lucky ones want to get anywhere near a freak like me [deleted]

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Oh, yes, I'm so fortunate, that's exactly why I'm here... because I was the one who won fate's hand...

Is that what you're after, then? Petty vengeance?

Come get it, then.

Release your frustrations. I don't mind.

You obviously want to live out a fantasy of power. Go ahead.

v-shinsou

fuck off.

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

You're perfectly within your power to stop talking to me if you aren't enjoying yourself, Shinsou-kun.

v-shinsou

dont call me that...

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Hahahaa.... Well, if I can't call you by your name and I can't call you by what you are, what should I call you?

Freak? Would you prefer that?

Freak.

v-shinsou

...

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Freak freak freak.

v-shinsou

[control freak used illegal software to download your location]

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

Incredible. I would have just told you where I am.

v-shinsou

[control freak is idle]

█►─═ ₭卂𝔦†ᵒù ═─◄█

So impolite...

...

[mioriia]

三 | Chapter 3 | Arc 0.3

The Wandering Maiden | Chapter 3

❝𝕎𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕀 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕚𝕫𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕀 𝕨𝕒𝕤 𝕕𝕚𝕗𝕗𝕖𝕣𝕖𝕟𝕥... 𝕎𝕚𝕝𝕝 𝕀 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕕 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕟𝕠𝕣𝕞𝕒𝕝 𝕥𝕠 𝕗𝕚𝕥 𝕚𝕟?❞

•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•☾☼☽•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•

It's been a week since I was hospitalized, my wounds were slowly healing thanks to Urokodaki-san's special ointment. I could barely walk on my own, I thought I lost the ability to walk at first.

Ever since that night, I found out that the girl's name is Makomo while the boy with peachy pink hair is Sabito and they were all adopted by Urokodaki-san.

They were kids who lost their families to a man-eating monster; a demon. That's how much I learn about them, they didn't show it but the looks of their eyes when they told me this... Is just heartbreaking.

I want to comfort them but I can't.

No matter what you do, you must not let a human found out your real identity unless you want to be killed by them.

The voice...

For some reasons, he still continues to communicate through my mind and he never once reveals himself for all I know. He warned me about the possibility of being slayed by the hands of the demon slayer if I'm not careful.

According to him, I can't be killed by those weapons that demon slayers use known as nichirin swords or the changing color swords and it's the same thing with the sun and wisteria flowers.

Kishino's weaknesses are holy weapons and of course holy water, if we were attacked by another demon then our wounds will heal slower than how humans recovered so the chance of you getting killed is higher than you think, idiot.

❝Oh, shut up already...❞ I growls

❝Hmm, did you say something?❞

❝I-It's nothing, Urokodaki-san! I was just spacing out is all... Ahaha...❞

My palms feel sweaty for some reasons, is this what they call the feeling of being nervous?

Luckily, Urokodaki-san didn't pay attention much, nodding silently as his focus went back on the trio who were standing above a large wooden log floating above the water of the river, keeping balance them from falling over.

There were rocks being throw toward them as a part of the training to avoid multiple directions if there was no ground or in a situation where you are in an unbalanced area.

❝Giyuu, watch out for-❞

A loud splash was heard as the little ravenette's clothes was soaking wet with some of his now wet hair blocking his line of sight and instead of standing, he was sitting up in the river as little fishes were swimming around him.

❝The rocks...❞ Sabito whispers, sighing.

Makomo giggles, jumping down from the log as she turn around to face her peachy pink haired comrade who held a questioning expression at her sudden action.

❝What are you planning this time, Makomo-❞

A splash was heard as the next moment heea know that he felt a wet sensation on his face and the way Makomo was laughing at him...

Something snap inside Sabito as he lower himself onto the water, he was looking down as he start mumbling to her.

❝We were supposed to be training...❞

His hands were in the water the whole time as he cupped some of the salty water by using both of his hands.

What is he going to do now...?

❝But if you want to have the hard way then I has no choice to...❞

Cue the familiar sound of the water being splashes and now all of them were soaking wet from head to toes as Makomo start splashing around, sending hundred of water drops towards the boy as a revenge.

❝Water fight!❞

Their laughter were fill of so much joy as they have found themselves in a water battle between them and somehow even the shy Giyuu end up joining their little war.

❝I'm not going to lose to you, Makomo!❞

❝Same goes to you too, Sabito!❞

❝H-Hey I'm still here, you guys!❞

All of the sudden, my heart starts to ache at the sight of them playing around without a care in the world...I should be happy for them right but why?

Why does my heart ache so much...?

What is this feeling?

Why do I feel so weird when I saw them looking so happy...?

...Is this what they call loneliness?

.•° ✿ °•.

❝Hey, stop that! You're making my clothes soaking wet here!❞

❝Come on, Reina! You're going to loose it up for once!❞

A feminine voice chuckles softly as I frown slightly at her but nonetheless, a small smile tug at the corners of my lips.

❝Chie-nee, come and join us!❞

❝I'll pass❞

❝Ehh?!❞

❝Pfft... Ahahaha!❞

The three of us start laughing for no reasons but it was a pleasure moment for us...

°•. ✿ .•°

Blinking my eyes, stunned by the scene flashing before me. Was that one of my lost memories?

... Is this what my past life was like before I lost my memories?

Is that why I can't remember how those girls' faces look like?

They don't have the aura of a demon from what my past self saw them...

Could it be they're humans??

Were they... my friends in the past?

The thought of having human friends made my heart sang in delight, I feel like smiling for no reasons or whatsoever.

This little spark of hope...

I want to stay like this forever, it's a nice feeling like I was being hugged by a big bear.

❛This feeling... It's feels so warm...❜

You mustn't remember your past.

The words of reminder from the voice echoed throughout my happy moment.

❛Oh yeah... He told me that I can't❜

I start feeling down when I remember his warning of the possibilities of danger will come to me if I gain my memories again...

Gripping onto my blue yukata tightly, biting my lower lip. I was so frustrated at my current situation that I end up blocking the world around me, why is this so unfair?

Gods must hate me more than with other demons to put me through this...

What did I do to deserve this...?

My eyes feel like it was on fire, a burning sensation that it's making me want to cry...

❝Hey, Reina! Come and join my team!!❞

I finally snapped of my thoughts when a hand grasping onto my smaller one, looking up to find Makomo's smiling face. I was lost for words when she start dragging me down into the river with her leading the way.

❝You look pretty lonely over there so I thought you should join us too!❞ Makomo cheerfully said in her usual dreamy way.

.•° ✿ °•.

❝M-Miko-chii! W-Wait up!❞

I was being dragged as she lead me towards somewhere that I wasn't familiar with...

She turn towards me with a smile on her lips.

❝You look pretty lonely over there on your own, you know? I thought you should join us to buy some pork buns!❞

❝P-Pork buns...?❞

❝Yes, pork buns! Come on! Everyone is waiting for us at the entrance!❞

❝W-Wait a minute...! Kimiko!!❞

°•. ✿ .•°

❝Reina? Why are you... crying?❞

The expression on Makomo's face was the looks of concern and when I touch my cheek, I realize I was indeed crying when a wet sensation was falling across my face.

Shooking my head, I wipe the tears away as I smile at her.

❝It's nothing... I just remember something... good for once❞

❝Oh? That's good to hear then!❞

❝Yeah, the first time we ask for your name... You said you didn't remember it at first but then you remember it the next day❞

❝H-Hey! Are you saying that I'm getting old?!❞

❝Maybe❞

❝Sabito!❞

❝Hey! What was so uncall for!❞

❝What you get!❞

❝Take this, Giyuu!❞

❝W-Why am I getting involved with this?!❞

❝Attack the enemies, of course❞

Maybe I don't need to pretend to fit in afterall.

•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•☾☼☽•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•

A/N:

Have a cute moment of the water users trio's friendship + the amnesia girl! 😂❤ Thanks for supporting my story, everyone!