#this is a callout post @

[ajltheavacado]

Me, writing like 3 sentences of the fanfic I've been ignoring for weeks:

[loud-sound]

disabled people: i don't wanna "use the disability card" to miss class today...

also disabled people: semi-conscious on the floor

[monstars-incorporated]

This is exactly what most of the Monster's Ship Art be looking like

[finhere]

There’s so much overlap between silmarillion and thrawn fans and I think I figured out why. It’s because each character has like 6 names you have to memorize

[liesmyth]

I ask you. what is the point of having friends in your phone if they don't give you love and care and attention immediately on command

[strangelittlestories]

My teammates tell me I’m gonna to croak on the job.

They don’t mean soon. They’re not, y’know, assholes about it. They don’t mean I’mma get myself ended because I’m not good enough. They don’t even mean I’ll bite off more than I can chew. I can chew a lot, metaphorically speaking.

(And, like, sure I’ve snuffed it once or twice in the course of a mission - but it never *sticks*. And, sure, my team would probs suggest I add ‘so far’ to that sentence. But ‘hell never sticks … so far’ is grammatically weird, I think, so I reckon I’m morally in the right.)

What they mean is: I’ll never let myself leave the job, so of course I’ll lose myself to it.

Which. Y’know. Fair.

A lot of folks in the profession have this issue, of course. When you’re in the world-saving game, it can be tough to justify quitting and letting someone else take a turn.

I call it the Heroic Paradox. The ‘Heradox’, if you will.

Paradox part 1: an apocalypse demands a ‘hero’ or ‘heroes’. If it does not find one, a hero must be created. This is rough for the hero, ‘cos they’re a normie with a normal life and the process of going hero mode will take that life away from them.

(I’m actually not a huge fan of the term ‘hero’, but ‘designated end-of-days preventer’ is lengthy.)

Paradox part 2: if an apocalypse begins and the hero(es) already exists, then job’s a good’un, just crack on with business and de-apoc the lypse.

Paradox part 3: if the hero(es) are a few apocalypses deep and now pondering retirement on a nice little island/farm/wizard tower/public office, you hit that awkward moment where a hero is called for, but not yet present. Best case scenario: some poor schmuck gets their life ruined by ‘destiny’.

Worst case? The hero refuses the call or gets snuffed out early or *there just isn’t anyone appropriate* and that situation really puts the ‘scat’ in ‘eschatology’.

So … yeah, I don’t see myself retiring.

But if I’m honest - if I peer really intensely at the squirming pile of neuroses that lurk beneath the justifications - I was this way *before* the stakes got this high. I’ve always been a ‘crisis mode’ kinda jerk.

Lurching from mission to disaster to disastrous mission has always been where I feel most *myself*.

Now you (or my team) might say: that’s no way to live. Everyone needs downtime. Rest. Enrichment.

It’s been the downfall of many a hero that they hit crisis mode so hard, they don’t bother going to *therapy*.

My answer to this is simple: if you treat self-care and self-maintenance as being *really fricking urgent*, you can roll that work into your *existing* crisis pattern.

This is actually pretty sustainable. Because first: that stuff *is* urgent and you’re a bilge-organist if you don’t realise it. And second: the best kind of therapy is always the one you’ll *actually do*.

So yeah: I’ll pass away on the job. Because even the soft fuzzy nonsense I do … it’s all for the job.

And you know what? If it means I’ll exit this world knowing who I am? I’m okay with that.

---

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[futurebritishgentleman]

[astroo00]

Skizzleman fanartists have two modes, Phoenix Wright

Or markiplier

And there is no in-between

[runaway-mine-train]

The Ministry of Joy is lying to you, riding the Runaway Mine Train is the TRUE path to permanent happiness, NOT The Smiler.

[i-already-know-im-going-2-hell]

Babe are you thinking about wincest again? You just put Brother by Avicci on repeat for 2 hours

[jacks347]

"but isn't it also darlin and sam"

@grim-has-issues Know I love you but I'm gonna take the utmost pleasure in explaining to you why you're wrong cause that doesn't work the way you think it does.

So why don't Sam and Darlin work in my Achilles and Patroclus comparison like David and Asher. Well it's actually a very simple reason. Sam and Darlin lack the history.

Achilles and Patroclus grew up together, they trained together, they were soldiers together. They basically lived in each other's pocket since they were kids. Sam and Darlin don't have that kind of connection. They grew up in two separate worlds, in two separate times. David and Asher do. They grew up in the same pack, they've been best friends since they were little, they have that deeper sense of connection.

It's because of their history together that makes the story of Achilles and Patroclus so heart-wrenching. It's because of their history that sets Achilles off the way he does when Patroclus dies. This wasn't just some soldier that he got close to, this was his best friend, someone who he'd known and cared for and loved since he was just a boy. And we only find that in David and Asher (most poignantly in Imperium but it works in Prime too with the catalyst being Inversion rather than the Quinn fight).

Sam and Darlin as Achilles and Patroclus only works at surface level. If you just look at "hothead soldier who would lose it if they lost their partner" and "calm and collected partner that wants to protect their soldier" then yeah, it works. But it lacks depth, it lacks detail, it lacks the structure that makes this hit so hard. And this is me so you already know surface level just won't cut it.

David and Asher have the full setup. They grew up together, they were extremely close, and losing one would set the other off because of how deep of a loss it would be. In Imperium, we see Asher go full Achilles. He finds David dying and rips Quinn apart in revenge. He becomes a cold-hearted monster that just wants blood in return for the world taking his best friend and lover from him. Everything just works so much better.

Trust me my friend, I considered Sam and Darlin for my comparison. But when you look below the surface, it just falls apart. The only characters this really works with are David and Asher. I put far too much thought into all of my posts cause it's not angst if it's not accurate.

But thank you for allowing me to actually explain why this doesn't work with other characters. I mean I was going to eventually but you let me get it done nice and early before all the thoughts dribbled out of my ears.

[nipchipcookies]

Blorbo memes but Bloons heroes

[dokjas-lostselfpreservation]

ahem do you mind

aha so now we're exposing ourselves huh (⁠⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠⁠)

i ofc do NOT MIND BEING ATTACKED LIKE THIS LMAOAOOAOAO THIS IS SO REAL KWWNJENNEND 😭😭😭

[raendragon]

Thank goodness they gave us bus replacements for rail! But that's a whole 'nother can of worms :333

[jasper-juice98]

I'll see myself out now

[0vergrowngraveyard]

i cant believe that myla grabbed me by the ankles and dragged me back into a pokemon phase with them wtf