#this is a tactic that has never ever worked on me personally honestly when someone says 'so you're just going to give up??'

[vaguely-concerned]

The Wire BASHIR: So, that's it then. You're going to just give up and let them win. GARAK: Them, Doctor? BASHIR: The Central Command, the Obsidian Order, whoever it is who exiled you here. You're just going to roll over and die, let them destroy you, give up any hope of ever seeing Cardassia again. GARAK: Doctor, did anyone ever tell you that you are an infuriating pest? BASHIR: Chief O'Brien all the time, and I don't pay any attention to him either. --- Our Man Bashir BASHIR: Is that what they taught you in the Obsidian Order? To give up when things get tough? GARAK: As a matter of fact, they did. That's why I've managed to stay alive while most of my colleagues are dead. Because I know when to walk away. And that time is now. And you'd know that, Doctor, if you were a real intelligence agent. 

Hm. Thinking. 

(*julian bashir voice* okay but what if I quite simply didn’t let you give up just like that tho. Neither on yourself nor on other people. What then. 

Garak’s soul vibrating at some supersonic exceedingly horny pitch as he’s bleeding freely from the neck: …I’m listening)

[loquaciousferret]

Partners

Summary: After a difficult 6-month partnership with Agent Peña, the tension unravels itself in an unexpected way.

Pairing: Javier Peña x F!Reader

Content Warnings: 18+ ONLY, smut, degradation, sexism, physical violence, rough unprotected sex, powerplay/ light dom/sub dynamics, male-receiving oral sex - rough. sir!kink, semi-public sex (private but in an office/public place), maybe more PLEASE read at own risk.

Word Count: 2.4k

A/N: You guys ATE up my mean!Javi last time and made it my most popular fic so far! (nearly 900 notes is absolutely crazy and also over 100 followers thank you so much). He is so much worse in this LOL

@silkiers @tightjeansjavi

“You don’t outrank me!” You yelled at Agent Peña, and the way his eyes darkened when you pointed this out honestly terrified you.

“Maybe not.” He says through gritted teeth. “But this is my fight.” 

You rolled your eyes at him. “It’s everybody’s fight. We are partners, Javier. Equal partners. Stop acting like you are the only person with a stake here!” You respond, exasperated. Since you joined the team in Colombia as Javier Peña’s partner 6 months ago, this must be an argument you have had over a dozen times. 

“If you had just obeyed orders they never would have gotten away!” He yelled, closing the distance between you in the already narrow corridor and stabbing a finger towards you accusatorially. “It’s your fault.” 

“Get it through your head! There is no “obeying your orders” Javi.” You say through gritted teeth, before your voice raises to a yell, “You are not my superior. Get used to it!” You are enraged by his constant disrespect. 

“Well I should be, though.” He seethes.

“What?” You snap.

“How many arrests do you have since you got here?” He challenged.

You scoffed and put a hand on his shoulder to push him out the way and rejoin your team, but he stood firm, not letting you past. 

“How many times have I saved your ass in the field? Have you ever done it in return?” He continues.

You exhale with exertion as you continue to try and pass him, but he is steadfast. 

“Answer me, hm? You really think you’re my equal in this job?” 

“I’m not doing this, Javi. I’m not in competition with you.”

“Right. Because you know yourself that you can’t be.” He sneered.

“Stop it.” You urge him, your frustration growing by the second. “I earned my right to be on this team the same way you did.” 

“Oh now that’s funny.” He scoffed, “I know who your father is. You don’t think him being head of internal affairs has anything to do with your appointment here?”

“How dare you.” You say, seething with anger at his insinuation. It's not like it isn't one you've heard behind your back, but it's the first time someone has thrown it in your face. “I didn’t even tell my father I was applying for this transfer. He has nothing to do with it.” 

“Ok.” He stares at you with a dark look in his eyes. “Then who did you fuck to get the job, then?” The way the word rolls of his tongue makes it sound more vulgar than you could imagine, and before you can take a moment to stop yourself, Javi gasps in shock as your right hand connects with his cheekbone with an amazing amount of power. You just slapped your partner.

“You fucking bitch.” He spits. 

For a second you honestly thought he was approaching you to hit you back, but even more strangely, he is connecting his lips to yours. To your own surprise, you are kissing him back. Roughly, and desperately, and it's as if all of your anger and disdain towards him has transformed into lust with the snap of a finger.

He was ripping at the buttons on your blouse as you fumbled with the straps and buckles on his tactical vest on instinct. Had this been it all along, and you had been totally blind to it? Was all the tension between the pair of you just sexual frustration this whole time, and once it was out your system your partnership could be amicable? 

Who knows. But at this point it was worth a shot. It couldn’t make your working relationship any worse, as there was no way further down from where it already was. 

He pushed you back against the wall where you hit your head roughly but neither of you acknowledged that. 

“You’re gonna forget I’m not your superior when you’re on your knees, calling me sir, and begging me to fuck you.” He hissed into your ear and you froze up under his touch. He noticed, and you felt his lips tug into his signature devilish smirk as he continued to kiss you harshly, dominating with his tongue, controlling the pace of it all.

With your shirt fully unbuttoned he began to make his way down your body, leaving your lips to attach his lips to your neck, collarbones, lower to the curve of cleavage peaking out over your bra. You cursed yourself for wearing a sensible one, not planning on having it on show, but Javi clearly didn’t seem to care, groping you harshly through the fabric cups before slipping a hand inside one and freeing your breast from the top. As your breast sprung out of the fabric, your nipple hardened in the cold air and he flicked his tongue across it, sucking lightly. You gasped and bit your lip to stop yourself from moaning at the sensation. You figured that adrenaline and sexual frustration were adding to why you felt so sensitive under Javi’s touch, or at least that’s what you would tell yourself to explain why he was having such a dramatic effect on you.

As you got his tactical vest unfastened, you pushed it off his shoulders and it fell to the floor with a loud clatter.

He hissed at you to be quiet and it snapped you back to the reality of the situation. What were you doing? Were you really about to hate-fuck your partner just a few yards away from your entire team and a considerably large section of the Colombian police force and army?

You must have pulled away from him subconsciously as these thoughts ran through your head because the kiss broke and Javier was looking at you, his eyes questioning you. You considered him for a moment, and noticed how his expression had softened from before. Somehow this made you give in to your desires once again and you were reaching out for him, clutching his broad shoulders and pulling him back towards you.

He smiled. This was all the permission he needed to have his way with you now. He had backed off and you had re-initiated.

Javier had known all along that his attraction to you would be a thorn in his side whilst working together. It made him question his own judgment, it made him hesitate. It numbed his instincts in the field.

This was the tension relief he had needed for the whole 6 months you had been here, tormenting him with your mere presence. Your shiny hair. Your delicious scent. The way sweat would bead in the valley between your collarbones, inviting him to lick and suck and taste every inch of you. Now he was finally getting his chance. And you wanted it too.

You, of course, were oblivious to his thoughts and distracted from your own by his lips which were attached to your neck, sucking and nibbling lightly, making you gasp, whilst you worked at the buckle on his belt and then unzipped his jeans. He had a stiff erection that somehow both thrilled and alarmed you due to its size.

At this point he made good on his earlier promise and shoved you roughly to your knees. You gratified his silent command, wrapping your lips around the head of his hard cock. You took him further into your mouth, ever so slowly, retaining eye contact with him as he slid along your tongue and into your throat at a torturous pace for him. When you pulled away just as slowly, slipping him back out your mouth and teasing the underside of his shaft with your tongue as he glided across it, his patience snapped. In a moment he was grabbing both your arms, hauling them up and pressing them against the wall, pushing you back into it until there was not an inch of space between you. You kept watching him, expectantly, and then you opened your mouth widely and let your tongue drop out just slightly. He groaned at the sight and slammed nearly his entire length into your mouth. His pace was aggressive and you felt tears welling in your eyes after just a few of this thrusts as he fucked your throat.

"We're done doing things your way, you understand?" He grunted.

You watch his expressions, unable to respond. A vein bulges in his neck and a few of his curls are beginning to plaster themselves to his forehead with sweat.

"I asked you a question, agent. Do you understand me?" He repeated, partly through gritted teeth as he concentrated on not completely losing himself in the sensation of you letting him fuck your throat so well.

With great difficulty, you nodded your head slightly and hummed a response. The vibration of the movement and the sound had him grunting again, faltering inside you for a moment.

You could feel spit dribbling down your chin, your neck. You knew you must look absolutely wrecked and once again you considered being caught in this compromising position with Javi. Only this time, the thought didn't fill you with anxiety. It sent a pulse straight to your dripping core. The fear was turning you on.

He pulled out with no warning and you felt yourself reaching out to take him in your mouth again almost involuntarily. He removed one of his hands from their grip on your wrists and held your hair, tugging you back away from him and holding your head firmly against the wall.

"What a greedy slut." He taunted, his eyes watching you practically penetratingly.

You whined and he smirked. "Tell me what you want."

"I want you to fuck me." You say breathlessly.

"Oh I will, pretty girl." His thumb is tracing your lower lip and gathers some saliva still dripping from his rough treatment of your mouth. He spreads it around more down your chin.

"But you'll have to ask me nicely." His tone is menacing.

You shake your head at what he is asking for and he laughs, dropping your hands quickly and pulling back from you, beginning to tuck himself away and reaching for the zip on his jeans.

"No!" You protest. "No, I'm sorry. No, please."

He pauses, waiting for you to give him exactly what he wanted.

"Please, Javi, I want you to-" But this wasn't enough and he resumes his actions, slower this time but still continuing to adjust himself in his jeans and tidy himself up. You whine again in frustration. You are already begging more than you want to. But you understand that he isn't going to indulge you until you submit even further.

"Please, Sir."

He finally stops preparing to leave you there and you can see satisfaction written all over his expression. You had given in to what he wanted and you knew you would never live it down, but your desire overruled this logical thinking part of your brain.

"Please, what?" He says, already with his cock out again, stroking it slowly in front of your face.

"Please, Sir, I want you to fuck me. I want you to use me."

"Yeah, that's right." He growls, gripping your shoulders and dragging you back to your feet.

He rips your pants and underwear down your legs hastily, throwing them aside and lifting you up, wide palms spread under your thighs, strong arms hoisting you up to be in line with his hips.

He plunges his erection inside you with absolutely no preparation. It would have been more painful if you weren't so wet and turned on, ready for him to take from you what he wanted. A strangled sound escapes you, something desperate and shameless, between a moan and a cry.

"Be fucking quiet." He hisses.

He is bouncing you on his cock, your body dragging up and down the cold wall. Your hair is becoming more untamed by the second. He doesn't take his eyes off of you, never checking out and focussing on his own pleasure, rather constantly observing yours. The way you bit your lip and screwed up your face in pleasure and pain was driving him crazy.

"This why you've had such an attitude all along, needed me to put you in your place, huh?" He growls in your ear.

You have never liked this kind of talk. But now, with Javi, it is turning you on more than you have ever imagined.

You nod and he tuts at you.

"What do you say when I ask you something?"

"Y-yes, sir." You gasp.

His pace is punishing and the angle is allowing him to reach the deepest part of you, every single thrust was overwhelmingly powerful in its effect.

You braced yourself with your hands on his shoulders and found the confidence to roll your hips against him in the rhythm of his strokes, finding just the right way to stimulate your clit. Whimpers escaped your lips rapidly and he was no less vocal, grunting and panting into your ear.

You felt your orgasm approaching you quickly and began to clench around him as the knot built inside you.

"Oh, god, that's it." He praised. "That's my girl."

Whether it was his words or the sensation of his lips and moustache tickling your ear, you weren't sure, but suddenly you were coming undone around him. You lost your grip on his shoulders and slumped slightly but he tightened his hold on you and picked up his pace, desperate to earn his release whilst your walls were still clenching around him following your orgasm.

Barely a couple of strokes later and he was releasing inside you, guttural sounds escaping him. He stayed still for a couple of moments afterwards, panting while he caught his breath. Unexpectedly, he plants a gentle kiss on your forehead.

He helps you down slowly onto your feet and laughs quietly when you stumble a little the first time he tries to let go of you. That's what snaps you out of your post-orgasm haze and you shoot him a glare as you hurriedly get dressed again.

With your back to him, you finish buttoning your shirt. "This changes nothing."

"We'll see." He challenges, taking his cigarettes from his jacket pocket and balancing one between his lips. You shake your head, one more icy look sent his way for good measure, and then you return to your department, trying not to think about all the ways in which this event could come back to bite you.

[mecachrome]

your oscar primer was absolutely brilliant, thank you so much for posting it!! well-researched, well-written, and a good balance of educational and hilarious. if you want to share, i’d be very interested in reading any of the parts you mentioned that you cut out, like george-admiring, oscar’s psyche, etc, but no pressure ofc 🫶

omg no thank you so much for your kind words, i appreciate it a lot!!! :D andddd let me see... honestly i was just going to add a few more quotes & anecdotes from other people about his personality but i ended up incorporating most of them into the primer (e.g. mark's), but in general i think it's really charming how Every Single Adult who has ever worked with oscar throughout the years is so deeply and immediately convinced of his maturity. i did work in most of this old ask but it has a few extra quotes in there from mclaren personnel! anyway more below the cut:

i guess really the thing to Me about oscar is like...... idk if this makes any sense but i personally love how he's naturally a really gracious and diplomatic person but is also deeeeeply self-assured and objective, which on one hand means he presents as quite humble when he doesn't make excuses for himself or get caught up in deceptively high results, but on the other also means he refuses to give anyone else credit for his own success; if you remember me briefly mentioning prematax in that post he talks about it in the f1fs pod where he basically goes i didn't win because of PREMA, in fact i've NEVER LOST TO A TEAMMATE, SO. like any racing driver that is def a big source of pride for him, and i think it speaks to the "silent killer" (per lando) side to him, the guy who mark says "falls asleep" when hearing stories of his (championless) career, who said that he supported mark out of national obligation growing up but—let us not forget—vettel was the one winning everything back then anyway, who says he put even more pressure on himself to win his final race in f2 despite having clinched the title 2 races prior because he felt the innate urge to prove that he wouldn't simply ease off the gas pedal and still had it in himself to subjugate the field one last time.

along these lines oomf and i have discussed before how he and alex rank similarly on the kind/nice dichotomy in a way that is slightly diametric to lando, wherein he is always willing to offer tidy bits of sympathy for someone else's struggles but doesn't ever really envision any of them as relevant to his own experiences, because getting caught up in that "external noise" would be a waste of time (even with logan in the f3 finale it was honestly kind of like "aw man that sucks, i'd hate for it to be me... ANYWAY"). like not to maybe exaggerate his interiority but i enjoy that he carries an amount of hidden tension that he obviously consciously decides to not take reactionary measures over—though that doesn't mean it isn't there, it's just very well regulated (unrelated but he does actually work with mental coach emma murray, who also works with scott mclaughlin and whom he says helped him center himself at the end of his eurocup season). but he's still very... unfiltered about when he's been disrespected in an unperturbed, straightforward manner, like saying otmar confronting him on the sim over being promoted to the seat was "bizarre and frankly upsetting," the face he made when he was told they'd overtaken alpine in the standings in 2023, telling the kids in that hp tuners interview that the renault engineers treated his first f1 test too nonchalantly, etc. 😭 like every interview back when he was a reserve driver was soooo "i'm gracious about being stuck in this role but also i've proven myself way too much to Not Hate This Compromise and i'll be pissed as hell if i don't get a seat next year"... i'll stop here but basically he is truly a master of balancing gritted-teeth conviction with his tactical charm and it is one of my fav things ever about him!!!

also another quote i love is this one from david sera about his driving style, because 1) i love the correlation between it and his personality/calmness, 2) i'm obsessed with the dynamic of his early rc days helping nurture a style of "finesse" in his driving throughout his junior career that may not have appeared naturally if he'd only begun racing in karting (and subsequently how he had to learn to not get "muscled around" after moving to europe), and 3) of course as a noted jb22 appreciator i love when people note similarities in his inputs to jb because it is delicious to ME:

Coming from a remote control car background where concentration, finesse and smooth inputs, these were the traits we saw in Oscar in the cadet category. [...] You would often see other drivers have an advantage in the early part of the race, driving more aggressively, but Oscar had a more calm approach.

c__c but back to the first part of the ask and our good friend russell jorge, i'm mostly obsessed with oscar's reactions to his performance at the rollercoaster that was spa 2021 and the fact that he's been so vocally appreciate of george "outperforming" the car he was in. the 2 instances of the word HERO on his twitter:

and then this quote in an interview he did in 2022:

"[Success] is definitely not just defined by just world championships, and if you can outperform the car that you're in—I think George Russell has been a very fine example of that in years previous, you know, constantly getting the most out of that Williams and of course Spa. (laughs) Bit controversial, but he got a podium at the end of the day! And even without that, he qualified second, he outqualified everyone except Max in a Williams, which, you know, is an unbelievable result."

also george being the only f1 driver (i think) to tweet him for his f2 title :saluting_face:

AND ALSO THEM SHARING THE ANECDOTE OF THEIR AWKWARD FIRST MEETING ON THE FAST & CURIOUS POD??? aka oscar was told in his april 2023 ep that they were going to interview george next and he was like oh ok you can ask him about our "slightly left-field introduction," and then they had george on who was like oh yeah i met oscar for the first time washing our hands together in the bathroom on our way to the ausgp in 2020 😭 what a way to meet.

[the-last-thread-of-my-sanity]

Honestly, I love the Levi/Hange/Erwin dynamic when it comes to shipping, because all of it works and feels satisfying for the characters no matter what your preference is.

I can honestly believe or be convinced of almost any dynamic involving the three of them, including a throuple situation.

But my personal headcanon is this- I think that Levi had feelings for Erwin that were definitely stronger than Erwin’s for him. Levi showed love and also strength through devotion to Erwin but Erwin only had room in his life to be devoted to his cause and his goal of finding out the truth. Any person- even those he cared most about- could be sacrificed for that goal. We see this in his characterization as “the devil”. I think he felt sorrow for this choice at times but never once considered going back on it.

I honestly think the closest Levi and Erwin ever were was before the series starts/occurs offscreen. And by the time we are introduced to these characters we are actually beginning to see the slow deterioration of what could have been their relationship. We see them working seamlessly together to acquire Eren for the Scouts, but even as soon as the 57th Expedition we see some cracks in the facade.

Levi trusts Erwin inherently, and will follow his orders, but he starts to silently and subtly disagree with the massive loss of life that Erwin is content with to achieve his goal. This all culminates in Levi’s infamous unspoken “more important than me” right before they leave for Shiganshina. Erwin is devoted to his cause and his dream of seeing the basement regardless of the casualties- and Levi has been devoted to Erwin and so therefore must bear the weight of those casualties with him even though along the way they weren’t his calls to make.

And then on the other hand, you have Levi and Hange- who mutually care for one another and have phenomenal chemistry. They both share the burden of carrying out Erwin’s wishes- but I think in Hange, Levi can see someone who is just as intelligent and determined but not quite as ruthless or closed off. Hange is constantly grappling with guilt and shame and feelings of inadequacy- emotions that Levi doesn’t permit himself to feel or in the very least, to feel openly. So by caring for them, Levi gets some of that catharsis. Surely by having sympathy for Hange’s plight, he can also then give himself permission to feel his own doubts and frustrations. Their relationship feels very equal- which is why it is ultimately more appealing to me.

Later, even when Hange is the commander, it still feels like they are on equal footing. Levi is just as devoted to them, but not in a way that forces him into a secondary role or to compromise the part of him that cares deeply for others.

I think (and yes this explanation is very Levi-centric, sorry) that Levi resists a lot of attraction to Hange or doesn’t take it as seriously while Erwin is alive- but just as we see things begin to chill between him and Erwin, we also see more trust and interactions between him and Hange.

Levi choosing Armin to revive over Erwin was a personal as well as tactical decision for him. Of course, there’s so much discussion about how it was actually a way to respect him and show mercy, et cetera. And I agree with that. But many things can be true at the same time, and I think laying Erwin to rest was also Levi choosing, if even subconsciously, that he would no longer choose his unbroken devotion to Erwin over the chance to spare lost lives (in this case, it happens to be Armin). He still reveres Erwin immensely- but following him for so many years had obviously left wounds and scars.

And I am not saying any of this to discredit Erwin or villainize him. I think Erwin is a very human character, and he put himself into a position to make choices that he knew no one else would be able to make. He chose to turn himself into a monster and be as ruthless as his enemy. He was incorruptible in this aspect, but it also meant that anyone close to him would always be secondary and he couldn’t risk becoming too attached. There a million examples of ways he cares for Levi (and Hange)- he just makes it explicit that he would never care for them MORE than the cause.

They know this and follow him anyway. But that bond between those second in command to him, creates this beautiful relationship built on shared understanding, and that’s what makes Levihan so compelling to me.

[vashtijoy]

I feel like you were asked about this but I'll ask just in case.

Does Akechi actually says "The same tactic is used in romance"? When you watch a TV after Nov 20

Hello! The answer is that yes, he really does:

Akechi 拠り所をなくしたところで、一番、敵だと思ってたやつが助け舟を出す。 yoridokoro o nakushita tokoro de, ichiban, teki da to omotteta yatsu ga tasukebune o dasu Once they lost public support, someone they thought was their greatest enemy lent a hand...

Akechi これ、恋愛とかの駆け引きと同じでしょう? kore, ren'ai to ka no kakehiki to onaji deshou? That's the same strategy used in romance, wouldn't you agree? [lit. that's the same sort of strategy as you'd use in a love affair or the like, don't you think?]

Have you ever thought, though, that this sounds like a huge red flag? "I swept in at their weakest point like I would do with a girlfriend"? Like, seriously, Akechi, you're discussing your pick-up artist activities on TV here? Do you really hang out with the guys on Central Street? not that I don't think this is pretty much the approach he would take

There is, of course, something lost in translation here.

駆け引き kakehiki does mean "bargaining", or "strategy". But that's not what it means in context:

「駆け引き」とは、気になる相手を振り向かせるために、押したり引いたりするテクニックのことですが、女性は相手の気持ちを確かめたくて不安になる気持ちから、「駆け引き」をする場合があると言われています。 kakehiki is a technique where you act hot and cold to make someone you like pay attention to you. Women in particular may use it out of anxiety, to test the feelings of their partner.

kakehiki is not just "a strategy". It's specifically acting on-again off-again to keep someone on the hook. Now, this is what Akechi has been discussing in his interview—how he opposed the PTs and then later supported them. So while "the same kind of strategy" etc is not really a mistranslation, the original line is explicit that it's about this on-and-off hot-and-cold manipulative method.

I don't get the impression that kakehiki has the crazy-ex-girlfriend vibe that it would have in English-speaking culture, btw; it seems like a much more acceptable thing. Which makes Akechi's line far more innocuous.

Akechi also says ren'ai to ka—"romance and so on". So this is not just a technique used in romance.

"it required a lot of courage"

One more thing I think is worth highlighting from this interview:

Akechi: Honestly, it required a lot of courage to openly oppose them when their popularity was at its peak. Akechi: I mean, people often lashed out at me online and whatnot.

Akechi has two TV interviews between 11/20 and the engine room. Especially in the second, he's doing what he always does—he tells the truth, while dressing it up. He tells you what really happened, while making it sound like something else.

This is why so many of his lines end up having two or three meanings. For instance, in the "unwanted child" interview, he says "It did make me feel somewhat dizzy... Perhaps my mind was worked up due to the major task I had undertaken"—all of which, of course, is true. He's just omitting to mention what that task was.

So what about drawing the PTs in and betraying them required courage from Akechi? Please don't tell me he was scared of people being mean about him online, though he won't have enjoyed it at all and I'm sure it did give him a bad time.

Was it just that he had to kill two people in real life, face-to-face?—something that, deplorable as it was, would have called for untold levels of resolve. Was it the depth of personal deception and acting talent that the whole Sae's Palace arc demands of him? Or was it something deeper? Something that spoke to deeper things in him, like his need for connection, and friendship? Like his need to be part of a group?

The more I look at the events surrounding Sae's Palace and 11/20, the more I think Akechi struggles with them on a personal level, and that he's supposed to be portrayed that way.

finishing up

Here's the scene:

Notice, as they say, that his face never moves—the sprite never changes, his voice never wavers. This is almost routine; Akechi's TV manner is much more neutral and serious on the news than it is on daytime TV.

The thing is, Akechi isn't being interviewed as an expert here. This is a personal interview: "tell us how you caught the PTs, Akechi-san". It has much more in common with his daytime appearances. And honestly, it's not unprecedented for Akechi to show a little bit of emotion even on the news. You can see this on 7/18, when he's interviewed about Medjed. He doesn't get excited, but he does vary his sprites:

So this lack of affect on 11/23, while not eyecatching, is peculiar. Because what's the context of this—what else is going on? Akechi is a hero now. He's brought an end to the terror of the Phantom Thieves. People are screaming his name; he is everywhere. He has almost everything he ever wanted, right?—though the last thing, the big thing, is still just around the corner.

You'd think he could manage at least a smile, whether the leader of the PTs just committed suicide or not. You'd think he could at least sound enthusiastic. And you can tell, actually, that he's trying for that. That "it's the same strategy used in romance" is classic daytime TV Akechi. It's the sort of thing he says with a wink to knock down cooing presenters on rainbow couches.

But he doesn't even smile. He doesn't really even change his tone. He could be reading from an autocue; his mask is locked in place. And in his next and last interview, we'll get a glimpse of what's going on behind that mask—and exactly how not self-satisfied it is:

[compassionatereminders]

tw: suicide

i'm currently 24, i have meet my best friend when we were 15 for a while... and when i say a while i mean years at least 3 years she is just taking advantage of me. she has this boyfriend they spend money like crazy (only her bf works she doesn't work atm) and a lot of times she borrows money from me. 80% of the time i don't get my money back but i sometimes don't mind because she has a daughter (this bf is not the father btw so he doesn't spend much money on her daughter) and i feel so bad for her kid.

my friend got pregnant at age 17 and i love her daughter a lot. it feels like i'm her aunt or something (she does call me an aunt as well) she feels like family to me. a lot of times i would also willingly buy her something because i feel bad that she doesn't have things she needs. her ex pays child support but my friend spends that money mostly on herself. this is also where his involvement ends, he pays child support and maybe he sees his daughter once every month or so.

i'm sorry if this is getting boring to read so i will get to the point. my friend only calls me when she needs someone to babysit her kid. and when she needs money. she loves going out with her bf and a lot of times, probably 3 times per week i babysit her daughter. i don't actually spend much time with my friend at all when i come to her to babysit we maybe talk for less than 5 minutes because she's always in a hurry and when she is back she is tired or needs to do something so we don't talk more than a few minutes either.

one day she got even mad when i couldn't babysit even if i'm single it doesn't mean i always have free time just for her.

since i implied or try to imply our friendship doesn't works out anymore (2 days ago) she threatened me she will kill herself because she is very depressed. i know she doesn't have a perfect life and she goes to a psychologist (but she was never dealing with suicidal thoughts, and she never ever said to me since we know each other that she wanted to hurt or kill herself).

now i do feel really bad because i think what if something happened then it would be my fault? she never said to me that she ever threatened any ex boyfriends with suicide (we talk about a lot of things i know she wanted to keep her ex boyfriends but she never used this tactic with them as far as i know) so i think why would she do this to me? makes me think that she a) not lying and she wants to kill herself b) she never used this tactic with her any of her ex boyfriends but she knows am an emotional person and she is trying this with me even if i'm just her friend and not her intimate partner.

i would also feel so bad for her daughter if i break off this friendship. her dad doesn't give a s**t about her, and dad's family (grandma and grandpa) don't really care about her either. my friend's mom & dad are not good people her mom is physically abusive & her dad is an alcoholic so they're not good grandparents to be around with.

i really can't stand this friendship anymore it feels like i'm her personal butler or something "hey i need a babysitter come here" and "i need to borrow some cash, can we meet"... she used to be a good person and honestly i was waiting for her to "turn back" into old her but that never happened.

so sorry for such a long post but should i feel responsible? like if something happens would it be my fault? my common sense says: no, but when i start thinking about it i think maybe it would be my fault because i abandoned her. she called me so many times how she wants to kill herself and sent me like 7 messages already just when i started implying we should not be friends anymore... i didn't really say it but i was hinting at it because i didn't know how to word it... since then i saw her in person today and she was telling me how she wants to kill herself, this time she spoke with me more than a few minutes, we talked like 45 minutes but mostly she talked how she would kill herself if i stopped being her friend.

later she happily went out with her bf... her mood changed completely she went from stressed, almost crying, panicking, threatening she wants to kill herself and even how she would do it... then she would change into this bubbly smiling person when she went out. and ofc she only called me to chat and for babysitting...

This "friend" is using you, and her response to you trying to establish the boundaries you need is not just unfair, but abusive. Her mental health, her economy and her child are NOT your responsibility. And she has no right to threaten you into not establishing the boundaries you need. No matter what happens from here, it won't be your fault or your responsibility. Your responsibility is yourself, and that means walking away from people who use, manipulate and abuse you. Even when they make it hard.

[simplepotatofarmer]

two roads diverged in a yellow wood

or the similarities and differences between c!techno and c!dream

cc!dream's comments about how his character is similar to c!techno in motivation inspired me to write my first serious lore analysis in forever because it's something i've talked about quite a lot.

there are a lot of similarities between the two, from the fact that they both deal with dehumanization (being seen as a weapon or 'the blade' and being seen as a monster or undeserving of being treated as human) to the fact that they both struggle with showing that they care to their ultimate motivations.

but when it comes down to it, the differences lie in how they respond.

where c!dream leans into his dehumanization (because playing the part of the monster protects him and his plans), c!techno fights against it at every turn. he wants to be seen as a person, he wants to be understood, from his motivations to his reasoning. c!techno tries desperately to get people to see things from his perspective. meanwhile, c!dream doesn't want people to see him as a person because he doesn't want them to look further into his plans, to his reasoning. it's a sort of protection, if everyone thinks he's a senseless villain, they're not going to question him! it allows him to enact his plans without scrutiny.

both c!dream and c!techno want there to be a united server but there's a huge caveat here: techno is an anarchist and dream is an authoritarian. they may have the same motivation but their ways of wanting to enact that couldn't be more different! techno wants a united server insofar as he wants there to be no government, where everyone is free from coercion and there's no leader. on the other hand, dream is completely fine using coercion to have everyone under the same banner, if you will.

something else to note, and i think the most important part, is their relationship with caring and friendships. c!techno used to be someone that thought being alone was the only way to do thing. he thought being alone was the only way to be safe. and c!dream shares this same belief. he dethroned c!george to keep him out of conflict, he told c!punz to pretend to betray him so that punz wouldn't be suspect, and it wasn't until c!ranboo was murdered that dream ever admitted to the fact that they worked together. the difference, the critical difference, is that techno has learned that having friends you care for is a benefit.

and c!dream is still learning that. we see from the last lore that instead of attempting to take down las nevadas alone, he called in his friend and someone who could be an ally, at least for the moment. there was some vulnerability there.

but c!techno had already learned that, had already figured that out, and that's one of the key differences between them. it's their reactions. it's techno saying that he does care and it's dream saying he doesn't give a fuck about anything.

they've had similar experiences but their choices and reactions are what makes them so very different. their motivations are similar but their tactics are on the opposite ends of the spectrum (except for the whole 'yeah let's blow up the government' thing).

it's honestly fascinating because there's so much overlap between the two of them but at each turn, they make strikingly different decisions.

c!techno has been like c!dream (and please, don't get it twisted, this is not me saying he's done things like c!dream has, that's not what this is, it's just that he's been like that, trying not to care, been seen as something not human) but he's farther along his path, he's learned more, he's changed more. techno has taken the steps to do better.

c!dream hasn't, maybe never will, and that's where their paths diverge.

[mossyshrum]

Analysis Of Why Fanon Creek Sucks

The fandom portrayal of Creek, as well as Tweek and Craig on their own, makes me really angry. I don’t understand why people choose to be in a fandom, get invested in the characters and the content, but then make the choice to butcher their personalities.

This will tackle the aspects of their relationship and them as characters simultaneously, since it goes a little hand in hand; misrepresenting their relationship also means misrepresenting their personalities.

You can disagree with me, because people see characters differently, but this is based off of my own observations and opinions. I will stand by this unapologetically, and you can pry this from my cold and dead hands.

People really love making gay relationships (be that WLW or MLM) fall into gendered stereotypes. While they can, and certainly do, it does not fit Tweek and Craig. People tend to always want to shove one character into the helpless, wimpy, and annoyingly submissive role, whilst their partner is some toxic, dominant alpha male. This bothers me for many reasons, because Tweek and Craig are complex characters. They can’t, and shouldn’t, be dumbed down to such simple traits. Craig and Tweek are human and humans are complicated.

Craig always falls into the “alpha” category. He’s controlling, cold, and borderline abusive in every way possible. Tweek is always his bitch, for lack of any other comparison, unable to defend himself and constantly relying on Craig. He’s molded into a crybaby that can’t do anything on his own and can’t throw a punch or anything of the sort.

The issue comes forth when you compare this to their canon relationship.

Tweek relies on Craig, yes, but not to the extent people make it out to be. Craig provides him support and unconditional love no matter what, and Tweek does the same. Craig has never been shown to be cruel to Tweek intentionally, or ever really; the closest we’ve gotten to that was the episode with the Buddha Box and the time he tried to dumb down Tweek’s anxieties with logic. I guess TFBW could kind of apply here, but that was honestly just petty relationship drama between two little kids. Yeah, friendly reminder: they are TEN. Everyone makes mistakes, children especially. Craig has never treated Tweek like garbage, although a lot of people seem to think that, since more fan works than I’d like to admit portray him that way.

Craig in general is a bit of an asshole at times, yeah, but literally who isn’t in this show? Be honest. And don’t say Butters, we’ve all seen some of the shit he does.

(This next paragraph will be going in line with how I see Craig as autistic coded, so skip past it if that’s not your cup of tea !! <3) Treating Craig like he’s an emotionless, apathetic monster because of how he acts rubs me the wrong way, and it always has. He has a lot of traits of someone on the autism spectrum when it comes to handling other people’s feelings, because we’ve seen him try to dispel Tweek’s anxieties with logic numerous times, which is something I and many other autistic individuals do. He doesn’t really understand or empathize with how Tweek felt at first, but once Tweek explained that, no, logic won’t help or soothe me, Craig just changed his tactics and listened, instead. He’s doing his best to assist, because he loves and cares about Tweek, but he wasn’t doing it right at first because he just didn’t get it. That doesn’t make him an asshole, that doesn’t make him a sociopath, and that doesn’t make him an abusive partner. He was trying and he still is.

As for Tweek, GOD - where do I even begin with how people portray him?

A lot of fans apparently saw Tweek and only took away the anxious and paranoid side of him. They snatched this up, combined it with the typical traits of romanticized anxiety, made him a defenseless crybaby, and called it a day! And I hate it. Tweek isn’t... at all how a lot of people make him seem. He’s shown to be aggressive, and protective, and LOUD!! He’s not quiet and submissive in the slightest. His tics (the vocal ones mostly, obviously) are part of the main reason he’s loud, but he’s also just... a loud person in general. When he freaks out, he doesn’t do it silently; he starts screaming and running in circles because the president made another dumb tweet and now they’re all going to die because North Korea hates them so he’d better go tell Craig because their doom is impending and all-encompassing and inescapable. He sent Craig to the hospital after their fight, like he beat his ASS, he doesn’t need Craig to defend him and treat him like a toddler.

I’ve seen quite a few people also ignore his tics. For whatever reason, they act like they’re nonexistent. It shouldn’t just be erased from his character. People think that taking away his tics is an instant fix for his mental illness and that’s so wrong??? That isn’t how that works. Removing his tics doesn’t take away the underlying and constant anxiety he has. It feels like they only do this to make him more “normal”, less alienated. They just write it out because they don’t understand his tics and how they work/affect him.

Why do people do this?

To circle back to the first point I made at the beginning of this post, I think that the butchering of their personalities stems from the inherent need to confine relationships to a box: there has to be one person who is more protective and dominant and one person who can’t do anything for themself. They can’t write a relationship unless it’s like that, because maybe that’s all they’ve seen, or maybe they’ve never been in a relationship, or maybe they don’t understand same-gendered relationships (even though they are no different than heterosexual relationships....) Creek isn’t like that, and it never will be, and it never has been.

A lot of actual published books - coughs gags Colleen Hoover - show relationships like this, and I think it’s ruined a lot of people when it comes to writing and understanding dynamics between characters. The material that they learned from had nothing but weirdly sexually abusive Andrew Tate-esque men and a meek little woman paired off and now it’s all that they know and understand. The popularization of literature like this really needs to stop, not only because of my dumb little South Park-inspired rant, but because it’s teaching a concerning amount of people that relationships like this are healthy and normal when they are anything but. If there’s anything you want to add or talk about, don’t be shy!

Anyway, thanks for coming to my YouTube channel gang. Be sure to subscribe and SMASH that like button!!!!!! 3 am challenge soon

[joyswonderland1108]

I'm.. Confused?

Okay i will be completely honest here, i rarely very rarely watch any content that isn't purely BTS when it comes to, well.. BTS. So when it's something about Bang PD talking about BTS sometimes i only catch snippets on my tl and i end up watching it very later solely because there was a mention of BTS.

Now this popped up on my TL because someone qt tweeted it, i'm not sure about what this interview was all about, i still didn't watch it, i don't have the whole context but anygays :

(My Tumblr isn't giving me a preview of the post so i'm linking the ss of the post anyways)

After i've been sitting here reading this over and over again, reading comments and quotes i was like.. If this is real, well it most probably is since i didn't see anyone correcting OP yet on the take, just how many times were BTS lied to, gaslighted up until this day about things they are doing..

And if you think about it it's actually pretty scary, imagine being manipulated into thinking you are not doing good enough and you need to do this and that to be able to achieve XYZ goal that you have, but at what cost? How do we even know that those "motivations" aren't backed up by a selfish desire of seeing BTS grow just for the financial gain the company gets from that? How do you even know that the way they are being led won't strip away what the members themselves wanted to achieve by choosing a path that was wrongfully introduced to them?

I don't know if i'm making sense here and i hate how people are quick to call BTS company's puppets when shit like that is being talked about, but honestly? Personally if i've been working under someone who is supposed to be a leader helping me, someone who so far through years has been a person i've looked up to, respected and trusted to seek advise from to continue to push for my dreams, just for them to end up being liars about the advise they gave me, because maybe the most crucial part of my dream was never going to be fulfilled following the advise i was given, maybe the advise helped me grow and through me that person was able to grow as well leaving the part i might've been in desperate need from the start..

I feel like i'm still not making any sense, i also don't know how much i should rely on a single post and comments and qts backing it up but as i said, if it's all true, if it's all not just some misunderstanding of some sort, then goddamn it's really scary!!! I wouldn't want to imagine our boys trusting someone enough to see their advise as something precious they might feel it should be considered, they make them believe that they are given full freedom to chose while maybe even the choices that are out there presented to them are still not on a wider scale presenting a potential to reach what they were made to believe would make them achieve what they want for the future.

Many artists don't only seek the artistry recognition, some people want or NEED a recognition on different aspects including who they are too as a person not just as an artists, but the mere thought that this can be stripped away from an artist just by using this gaslighting tactics.. *Sigh*

I'm rambling, i don't know i just poured all the thoughts that came to my mind after reading that. All i ever want is for our boys to be happy with their career, their artistry, their creativity, their professional and personal lives, i just want them to find comfort in both and always feel no type of restriction or barrier out there for them to reach the peak of their happiness..

[marshmallowprotection]

How would Ray react to an mc who is just as socially outcasted and 'clingy'...?

It's so embarrassing but I've never had proper, good friends...if Ray ever welcomed me I would cling to him for dear life.

But like

Would that just be fuel for his...obsessive tendencies and protectiveness??

Omg what would happen

Ray would know you’re isolated from the beginning. In fact, he knows everything about what's going on inside your head and the world around you. It brings some comfort to know that he couldn't make a mistake. If he knows you better than you know yourself, then he'll know what you need when you need it.

He wants to be a provider and he wants to take care of you. That means he put in the work to understand what kind of person you are and what makes you tick. Sure, that's not exactly a healthy thing, but, you've been his only reason for living for quite a while. You have been what has motivated him to get up in the morning.

You have given him an escape from the cruel reality he lives in and for that, he is forever grateful. He just doesn't know how to express it without making it weird.  It is weird, right? 

He is certain that the way he fantasizes about you isn't normal. But, he's never been a normal person. He was always an airhead and a weirdo. It didn't matter what he did, it would never be good enough for the people around him.

He wants to be the best for you and he wants to know that he's good enough for you. That's why he was so obsessive in the first place. He was afraid of making a mistake and hurting someone who meant a lot to him. He wanted to learn as much as he could just to make sure you could never be hurt the way he was. 

But, what if you're the kind of person who can't stand somebody who does something like that? It eats away at him on the inside the more he imagines what you'll say when you realize how he has learned things about you. Will it make you think he's a monster? Will you hate him forever and tell him to go away? Those are the kinds of things he's afraid of. Those are his nightmares that never go away.

So, what do you think would happen if you tell him you're just as obsessed with him as he is with you? Well, you can actually tell him with choice options during the game that you want him to be more obsessed with you, or that you want to be with him the same way he wants to be with you like that. It excites him and makes him think about all of the things he could do with you.

It makes those fantasies he's been having about you even stronger by the minute. If you want to stay with him, he doesn't need to be afraid of anything. In fact, if he knows that you want him just as badly, as crazy as it sounds, it eases some of his worries about losing you. in some ways, it would turn down his tendencies, and in others, it would elevate it.

Now he doesn't need to be afraid about somebody's stealing you away, but he does worry about making mistakes in the middle. It's one thing to know that you want him, and it's another to know that he needs to live up to your expectations. He isn't sure why you would want him. He would be beside himself trying to figure out the best way to be what you want him to be.

Even if you tried to explain to him that you're captivated by the person that he is naturally, he would still be confused. His self-esteem issues run pretty deep, after all. 

Honestly, you don't need to worry about him doing anything out of pocket because you're obsessed with him. What you need to worry about is Rika.The whole reason why Ray was ripped away in the first place was that his obsession with you started to overwrite his dedication to his job. She didn't appreciate that. So, the likelihood that that would repeat itself is very high. Or, she could change tactics and decide to use the obsession the two of you hold against each other to make things work out her way. she isn't a stranger to manipulating others to do what she wants to do by motivating them with a carrot on a string.

[its-tea-time-darling]

Oh tea. The rarepairs I have thought about. You’ve opened a door and the ocean is at it (the ocean being my unhinged mind) (and I will not flood you though) 💕

First — I’ve been thinking about Aris and Gally a lot and I want to see if you can be on board with me. To my knowledge their interaction is few and far between but I just kind of love the idea of them.

Aris: contained and somewhat shy but even more cunning than Thomas, less outspoken and openly curious but finds out information and pieces together things on his own before showing anyone else and if someone gets the privilege to see what he’s discovered it’s a great one, not exactly an amazing runner but has his own tactics of survival as he is somewhat mischievous in his own right. Kind of the hidden predator you’d never expect but also doesn’t want to be that if he doesn’t have to.

Gally: I’d wax poetic but we both know, we just both KNOW, especially post tdc he’s damaged and lonely and trying his best, can be absolutely brutal but doesn’t want to be seen as such, ruthless when on a mission, is very intelligent and was often underestimated, does let fear control his motivation but he’s trying to overcome that because he wants to be BRAVE (oh look at that I’m waxing poetic again).

Anyways, yeah — tea, do you have thoughts or am I alone on this boat?

why helloooOOOO

first off: crest, you are NEVER alone in a boat 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 but also not in this specific one, worry not.

i've talked about aris and gally with @dunne-ias before and i do love the idea of them!! i believe that was in a modern day au, where aris just fit that tad bit better than thomas because he's that little bit more.. off. which is a bit of what you're getting at, too, i think?

ias correct me if i'm wrong but i think it was aris being into gally and gally not clocking it At All? which in that instant was just much more charming than if it would've been thomas, bc thomas is all head first running into something and aris would be keeping his cards close to his chest, even if he was trying to make it super obvious he had a thing for gally??

and you got me thinking, i don't know that they ever interact in canon at all. aris isn't on the minho rescuing mission, and i just watched the safe haven vince pep talk scene pretty closely to do that thomally week gifset and i don't think gally and aris are shown to acknowledge each other.. but i could be wrong, i wasn't specifically on the lookout!

i do think that in movie canon aris and gally are a very interesting spot, because aris could only ever have heard about gally's arc in the maze second hand. and he never knew chuck. so he might be intuitively more inclined than the gladers to have empathy as his primary reaction to those events. and it could result in scenes of gally trying to explain to aris just why he is such a bad person.

ohhhhh but honestly now i'm thinking about them at safe haven 0.0. quietly working alongside each other (different tasks though, i wouldn't think aris would be especially skilled in building something), and it takes gally much longer to notice aris in the first place than the other way around. bc gally's so caught up in everyone he lost, and the guilt he's carrying with him. i think talking to aris, and forming some sort of tentative friendship could be a really good way for him to get some tether to live that isn't centered around the gladers as a social group.

OR, this just came to me, it could start off as a hook up alsdkjfsalkdjffds. love sex + emotions <3 oh my god. i am having vivid ideas of how a scene like that could go. curse you, crest.

but also thank you - tickling new spots of the brain is always a good time! and tmr rarepairs are just a fantastic way of doing that.

<3

[hilaom]

On Internet Safety for Kids

TW: Grooming, child abuse, sexual abuse

Note this has nothing to do with KOSA (which I am fully against) but I want to talk about it due to some personal memories that have been brought up for me recently. Putting it under the cut because it’s long and kind of an essay and also discusses some sensitive topics.

Internet safety for kids (at least when I was first given internet access at a way too young age) always seems to focus on real life repercussions. It was always about the threat of someone finding you in real life to do awful things. Never meet up with someone you meet on the internet, never post personal information online, never post pictures of yourself or anything that could be used to find you (local businesses, schools, etc.).

My parents would always sit me down and make me watch this specific genre of video that was like a reverse To Catch a Predator. The creators of the video would work with the parents of a kid (usually 13 or so) to contact their child online, chat with them for a while posing as a kid, and ask them to meet up. When the kid would meet up with them, the creators would fake kidnap them and stuff them in their van where their parents would be waiting to scold them for meeting up with a stranger over the internet while the creators preached about internet safety to the VERY scared kid who just thought they were about to be kidnapped.

These videos and other talks from my parents made me hyper vigilant online. Unless I had 100% irrefutable proof that who I was talking to was actually who they said they were, I wouldn’t even give them my real first name. It took me a long time to feel comfortable enough to send my long time friends selfies or even tell them what state I lived in. Every picture I took I made sure to censor any potentially revealing information like business names, school mascots, even reflections of signs that were barely legible. Movies like Megan is Missing (however bad it might be) only heightened that awareness.

None of this is a bad thing. In the modern day, there are far too many people who are far too open about their personal information online. While scare tactics such as the ones I was exposed to as a kid may not be the best option, it is still important to teach the ever growing population of kids on the internet (tm) about basic internet safety. The problem comes with what we aren’t teaching.

Grooming has been a bit of a buzzword on social media lately (and has honestly began to lose its meaning due to certain misappropriations of the word). It feels like there’s been an influx of stories of people coming out with stories of popular creators who groomed them into sexual or otherwise inappropriate relationships when they were children. A lot of these people are around my age give or take a few years and I don’t think that’s a coincidence. When parents and other trusted adults focus all of their energy on warning kids of the real life dangers of the internet, they often entirely forget the real dangers that can be posed entirely in the digital space.

When I was 10-11 years old, I was groomed by an 18 year old man (at least that’s what he said was his age). I never gave him my name, so he called me by a nickname. I never showed him my face, but he would always creepily comment on what little I did show him—my hands. I never told him where I lived other than my timezone, since we’d play video games together and had to line up our schedules. There was never a threat of him finding me in real life. He lived in a different country entirely, and unless he was lying about his identity, I probably knew more about him than he knew about me. I thought that I was safe as long as I stuck to my safety rules.

He didn’t start being inappropriate with me until I’d already known him for multiple years. It took me a few more years to cut him off because I considered him a good friend. My hyper vigilance didn’t help me realize he was being extremely inappropriate until he finally went too over the line and it made me question everything. By that point, the damage was already done and I still have nightmares about the experience.

As kids enter online spaces younger and younger and become less and less careful, it becomes even more important to teach them about the signs of grooming, of inappropriate relationships, of emotional abuse. About how there is potential danger that lies entirely in the digital realm. If they’re never taught, they won’t know until it’s too late.

The answer does not lie in censorship, but in parenting and education. I don’t have all the answers on how exactly to teach internet safety, I’m barely an adult in the first place. But it’s important to teach kids how to be safe and how to protect themselves online, even when there is no danger in the “real world”, because there is still real potential harm no matter how protective you are over your personal information.

The internet obviously isn’t all bad and dangerous, but it’s still important to know how to be safe. And kids won’t know unless they’re taught.

[thatanimewriter]

UNDERGROUND.

➳ request: Hello, can i ask pyrrha with a gn mafia boss s/o who is a private person who has a dangerous semblance and hides it from pyrrha due to fear of pyrrha be disgusted by them and pyrrha doesn't knew that s/o is  vale's no 1 underground boss until s/o need to save pyrrha from cinder and told they're underling to fight off the grims and the white fang during the battle for beacon when the battle is over pyrrha ask about s/o's semblance and s/o confess to pyrrha about their semblance and how they become a mafia boss

➳ character/s: pyrrha nikos

➳ warnings: swearing, mentions of death and injuries, spoilers for volume 3 onwards 

➳ notes: thanks for requestinggg @unlikelyturtlelad​

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 / 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭  / 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 / 𝐰𝐢𝐩 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

──  𝐏𝐘𝐑𝐑𝐇𝐀 𝐍𝐈𝐊𝐎𝐒.

probably was a little bit upset that you never told her

but idk how you were supposed to go

“hello, my love, i’m the most renowned mafia boss in vale with the highest kill count and when i kill someone, i just carry their soul with me forever and i can hear everyone kinda talkin in the background while i do my shit, but i can release them and it’s some serious body horror type stuff and it hurts like a bitch, but it is a good intimidation tactic :))”

...

honestly, that probably is the best way to summarise it but you don’t wanna get into that conversation when you can pretend to be a normal person, yknow???

you have no clue how to break it to her that you’re not actually a villain, even if you’re mafia-involved

all you did was steal something from the schnee family because fuck jacques

n now you’re a public enemy-

and you don’t know how to explain your distaste for ozpin

or ozpin’s distaste for you

ozpin just doesn’t like you cause you know his secret

i guess that’s the one benefit for mafia involvement

but you absolutely hate the whole maiden project cause you know it won’t work against salem but he’s trying anyway

n then pyrrha came to you to tell you about her being the next fall maiden-

and she can safely say she’s never seen you so angry

maybe even a little scary since your semblance started to flair up with your anger

a dark red fog starting to swirl around you and eyes forming from within the fog

she claimed she would be ok, but you knew better than she did this time

but first, she had to make sure ozpin would be ok, because she was 90% you were gonna kill him

this was especially evident when you found out she’d gone after cinder by herself from jaune

with a sigh, you made some hand signals to send your goons to deal with the white fang and grimm in your stead while you went to go find your girlfriend with a hero complex

naturally, cinder is aware of your existence

and she knows very well what you’re capable of

so when she’s nearly about to shoot an arrow into pyrrha’s chest, she hesitates when she sees the thick fog circle around the room, creating a dome shape

now, pyrrha knew about that part

but she wasn’t prepared for your body to warp in ways it really shouldn’t have ever warped

layered screams of agony echoed throughout your little dome as you drew your weapon and promptly forced cinder to aim at you instead of pyrrha

but it’s ok, as fucking terrified as she is, she knows she’s safe 

she thinks-

when things are over

things being cinder’s ass kicked and knocked the fuck out and a pleasant smile on your face after hearing ozpin is dead

which was quickly wiped off when you realised he’d just reincarnate

but surely you wouldn’t have to deal with him again, right??

wrong

but when you’re in the infirmary gettin everyone patched up, pyrrha has some QUESTIONS

you answer them

but answering 1 question leads to 5 more

in the end, she’s glad that she has someone like you to keep her safe

but she never wants to hear the screams of many people in her ears all at once ever again

she tried to ensure that, but you just said

“no promises”

because who knows when you need to use it again in this strange, strange world

and if you ever see ozpin again, you’re gonna want to use it anyway

just for putting pyrrha in danger on purpose and knowing what she was going against but still decided to go through with it anyway

[sickandtiredanddepressed]

Dear Taylor Swift (An Open Letter)

Dear Taylor Swift,

I am reaching out because you are extremely successful (read: wealthy) and therefore you hold a lot of power in this country. Part of why I feel so compelled to write this open letter is because I have no idea if you know this. I think you do, and that’s my problem. You have liberal views and call yourself a feminist (at least that’s what a 2014 article confirmed when did I quick search), but you’re always silent. You take comfort in being silence, and your wealth and power allows you to do so. I am so fed up with white liberalism, so I’m channeling the anger that I feel toward every silent rich person with a platform into this letter. It is my responsibility to do everything I can to help my people see the end of a LITERAL. GENOCIDE. (If the concept of genocide isn’t fucking absurd enough, people are disputing what counts as genocide, ethnic cleansing, and apartheid. Can you believe it?!)

I have a few theories as to why you have been dead silent:

a) You have no idea. This will seem far-fetched to most people who have been on the internet in the last four months, but I can definitely see how it’s possible. You could have an amazing algorithm that doesn’t show you any ‘negativity’. You probably know that you can filter out certain words. I think it’s possible for people (read: white, rich) to go through the world and never come in contact with any news they see as ‘not affecting them directly’. Or maybe you have someone who only shows you the nice things your fans post. I thought maybe you personally didn’t use social media, but from what I’ve learned against my will, you love to leave little Easter eggs, so maybe you are still turned in. Maybe you’ve been advised to not address what’s been happening…

b) Your PR team told you to ignore it. C’mon, your PR team has to know that people on the internet are mad that you haven’t said a word about the war crimes being committed by a country you do have ties to… honestly, I don’t even care to look up if you ever performed or been there. (But I do know that your movie still played there.) Is this part of the strategy? Wait for it all to blow over? I see how it worked before. Do you think those articles written about how you famously never speak out about any injustices that don’t affected you directly to the point of messing with your comfort are just from a bunch of haters? Then again, maybe your PR team never even brought it up and we’re back to point a.

c) ‘There’s nothing I can do’ / ‘It’s not my place to speak’. If people are telling you that just a few words from you has the potential to help (even the tiniest of bits) those being systematically bombed to hell for living on their own land, why wouldn’t you? It’s not a hard choice. (Then again, I wouldn’t be surprised if you don’t know any of this shit, like most Americans. Still.) I feel so useless and I’m trying to do everything in my power to help, but it’s fucking frustrating when you have a big red button and aren’t pressing it. Good news: I am personally inviting you to speak on the issue. (I mean it. Say something.) Issues like genocide, ethnic cleansing, tactical starvation are humanitarian crises that are pretty clear-cut. (Then again, like I said, the past four months have proven otherwise.) You’re not in scientology, are you? You are free to do your own research. (If you need help, I can provide helpful factsheets and links!) But you already know what you think because…

d) Your silence means you have chosen a side. Again, there is plenty of useful sites for you to explore. I implore you to reach across the aisle. (Don’t tell me private jets don’t have Wi-Fi?!) Maybe reach out to your friends Gigi and Bella Hadid. Ask them why they have been getting backlash and dropped by brands. I’d bet anything that you’ve only heard one side.

e) You legally cannot say anything or, at the very least, doing so would jeopardize important business relationships. I don’t give a shit. You are worth a billion dollars. Whatever legal fees could come up would be tens of dollars to you. You are the most successful artist today. You don’t have to rely on anyone else to do whatever the fuck you want. I also don’t care if it’s naïve of me to say. I’m constantly sick to my stomach seeing pictures of bloody, dead children and babies pop up on my social media feed because people are begging for the world to do something.

f) You don’t care. Then I want you to say it.

But you never will. So, if you won’t use your fame, power, and wealth to help then I will use it for you.

You are ignoring the most recent phase of genocide, ethnic cleaning, and settler colonialism. (Look up those terms.) Supporting Palestine is not antisemitic. It’s pretty insulting to claim that such atrocious acts and blatant racism are done for the sake of Judaism, and I’ve heard Rabbis’ echo this sentiment. Judaism is a religion; Zionism is a political movement that uses political tactics like pinkwashing. (I know for a fact you don’t know what that means. Look it up.) Everything you know or heard is probably racist or Islamophobic rhetoric. Maybe you have no interest because you think Muslims are sexist, oppressive people. Unless you’re against all religion, it is hypocritical and xenophobic to think that. (There are also Jews and Christians in Palestine, by the way.) Broaden your circle and learn from the people themselves. (And seriously, look up what pinkwashing means. I think that will be the most relevant to you, especially if you don’t care about all this race crap.)

To see the truth, look to those who have been risking their lives everyday by putting themselves out there publicly to show to the world what is actually happening in Gaza; people like Bisan, Motaz, and a NINE-YEAR-OLD JOURNALIST named Lama. Some of the images and videos they share are beyond inhumane and disturbing. I can’t imagine anyone could see that shit and still think it is justified. (Oh, wait! People online do say that! See: the brainwashed, xenophobic West.) You can even see it straight from the source since they post their crimes on Facebook as casually as a fishing trip. I’m guessing you haven’t seen any of these pictures or videos…

If you’re still thinking ‘what does this have to do with me??’, then damn, you need to go back and everything more closely. You have power and influence and there is reason to act like it doesn’t involve you (see point c). I’ve gotten to the point of writing an open letter because I see comments by Swifties that say Gaza has nothing to do with you. I think I outlined how it does pretty well for someone who can’t focus on anything anymore and thinks everything in life is completely trivial if it’s not spend trying to stop the extermination of Palestinians.

Back to race, your favorite. Arabs (and Muslims) are not foreign, backwards people who bring everything bad upon themselves because they’re stuck in the stone age and all the West tries to do is ‘help’ by ‘spreading’ ‘democracy’. You probably sympathize for your fans who live on occupied land and got to see your movie. I want you to know that what is going on is not a war. Palestine has no army; the tens of thousands who have died in the past four months are civilians, including TEN THOUSAND children, and that’s not even the worst of it. That doesn’t even scratch the surface. The details are fucking horrific, but they are less horrific to the world because what is being done is being done to Arabs and Muslims. (So? Who cares? Jinx!)

Any fan who has a problem with me or anything I said here, fuck off. If you’re angry about this, then you’re probably white and I mean it when I say I’m fucking done with white liberalism. It’s deadly. Again: I can’t handle anymore posts of dead men, women, children, and babies. I can’t take any more of the piercing screams from anguished men, women, and children as they hold onto their dead loved ones. If calling out a white celebrity billionaire even has the slightest chance of changing the current so there will be no more shaking, shell-shocked children, then I’ll do it over and over again.

Taylor, I want a response, and if there is none, you are a coward.

Yours truly,

A Palestinian American

P.S. Not sure if you know this, but let me be the first to tell you that the NFL is a deeply racist organization ❤️

[sims-half-crazy]

"Eugene, we need to speak...", Goldie faltered a moment before clearing her throat, "I have something to confess." Eugene looked at his wife. His wonderfully dependable, beautiful wife, and he had a feeling that he knew what she was about. Their lovemaking had been slow to resume since Eunice's birth, but they hadn't been monks. A small smile graced his face as he waited for her to continue. "I don't know how it happened and it is very out of character for me, but I promise you it won't happen again!" Eugene's smile fell and he waited for her to continue.

His time in the spotlight had taught him that people would tell you exactly what you needed to know by applying pressure with quiet indifference. People wanted you to care about them. People wanted you to agree with them. People did not know how to handle it when you were unresponsive, but they gave up so many tells in those moments when they were waiting for you to respond. He used this tactic on his wife now, and it shattered them. "I kissed another, but it meant nothing! I truly don't even know how it came about. We were having a pleasant time and completely innocent until it wasn't! I just don't know what happened, but I know that I'll never falter again. I'm so disgusted with myself. I'm not that person. I am not one to stray. I've been so ridden with guilt since it happened that I'm surprised you haven't mentioned anything."

There it was; the truth was out and Eugene was angrier than he'd ever been. His greatest fear had been that whomever he married would cheat on him and now it'd happened. He was furious. "HOW COULD YOU?! You're my wife. MY WIFE. We took vows! I would never have thought you'd be the kind of harlot to throw themselves at someone other than their husband. WHO WAS IT? I will have the truth from you now or so help me I will make your life hell," Eugene bellowed.

"I did not mean to! It was an accident. I never meant for it to happen. I didn't even think I had those feelings for anyone else, but they just bubbled up like a geyser. I liked being paid attention too. I miss being paid attention to," Goldie cried as she threw her arms up in the air. "Since Eunice was born you don't touch me anymore. You don't seek me out. You work and you eat and you sleep. Never once do you pay me any heed. We sleep in the same bed, but how many times have we lain together as husband and wife in that time? Did me giving birth disgust you so much? I know that my body has changed and things aren't quite what they were, but I am still your wife and I have needs as well! I am not the only one who has done wrong here!"

"Are you saying that my focus on furthering my career gave you license to cuckhold me?! Is that what you're trying to say? That you are at less fault because I did something wrong in your eyes? You, madam, are sorely mistaken if you think I'm going to hold myself accountable for your wanton ways."

"I am not holding you responsible for my actions. They are my own. I didn't have to tell you anything. Can you, honestly, tell me that you'd have noticed if I hadn't said anything? You have ignored me as your wife and that is an indisputable fact."

"I cannot divorce you, so if that is what you're after I will not allow it. My position demands that I play the happy family man. it seems that I am a failure at doing even that. This is why I hold all of you at arm's length! This is why getting close to people is dangerous! I don't care what you do, but you will keep it behind closed doors. I will not have you embarrassing me. We can approach this as businesses do."

"ARE YOU DAFT? We are talking about our marriage! Our lives. Together - for the rest of our natural lives. I knew you could be unfeeling and distant, but this is a new low! I have told you that your ignoring of me is a problem and your solution is to create a business partnership!? The sheer audacity of your thoughts is astounding and dumbfounding. Are you really that unfeeling?" Goldie came at him like he'd never experienced before. She was animated, arms flailing and red in the face. She stood up to him as a lioness stands to protect her young. She reminded him of his mother. She was a lioness. She was quieter about it though, more demure. She commanded with a quiet authority but he remembered times where she had raised her voice and the shock of it had dumbfounded him. He looked at his wife with a better recognition of her plight and turmoil. He had ignored her. He hadn't touched her the way a husband should touch his wife. He hadn't heeded her feelings or thoughts or even her presence the way he should. He was angry, rightly so, but he wasn't blameless.

"I am leaving." As he strode out of the room, Goldie's head fell into her hands and she sobbed. She knew that she shouldn't have kissed Katlyn, but she could never tell him who it was she kissed. She liked kissing her. She liked the way she made her feel. She felt listened to with Katlyn, but who was she deluding. Katlyn, Gilbert's aunt, was her employee and she had taken advantage of her. She was never going to tell Eugene the identity of who she kissed, but she also couldn't ignore that she had liked the way Katlyn's womanly curves fit against her own.

[scraps-pile]

so tonight I'm thinking about Max and Billy, and the complexity of their tragedy again.

like, it really is this whole domino effect, yaknow? starting with Billy... he's both a victim and an abuser in equal measure, and those two things are absolutely causally related. it's a complex thing to fully consider. you basically have to hold two thoughts in your head at once about him: one, that he wasn't always broken, and he was still young when he died, and it is a tragedy that he never got the chance to try and work toward being a better person... and two, that he put Max through horrible things, and he put her friends through horrible things when they entered the picture, and he absolutely could've taken his own abuse as a cautionary tale rather than an example.

to delve a little deeper, Billy's mindset seems to me like someone who was frustrated by their lack of power or control over their own life and circumstances, and when he tried to picture what having power and exerting control would look like, all that came up was the vindictive urge to take the place of his abuser at the top of the hierarchy... or, barring that option, replicate the hierarchy with someone vulnerable enough that he could place them below him. and that is where Max ended up.

the scary thing for Max is that she didn't get away scott free with zero influences to her behavior. when the boys were first trying to get to know her, she was cold, stand offish, abrasive... and this is not to nitpick or critique her behavior. it's just to point out that she was taught that she needed to act in that way, even though she liked these guys and eventually became their friend. part of it was tactical... she knew Billy would react badly if he saw her getting chummy with other kids. but part of her reluctance to open up probably comes from the fact that Billy is the type to hurt her using any tool she gives him. so she's learned not to give him any. or anyone else for that matter. her ability to trust is shot, and the best defense is a good offense. she can't give anyone an inch for fear that they'll take a mile, and Billy himself has basically warned her not to be a sucker by getting close to people. it's the nearest thing to real brotherly advice that he's probably ever given to her... which is haunting really, because it is both advice that he probably genuinely believes and finds to have been valuable in his own experiences, and advice that he made it necessary for Max to heed with his own behavior.

so basically... if abuse is a cycle, I think it's fair to say that Max could have a grain of worry in her mind that she might be as bad for other people as Billy is for her. and this goes beyond just Billy making problems for anyone she might be getting close to. (and don't worry, the racism of how Billy treated Lucas specifically isn't lost on me.) Max struggles to think of herself as a good person, in part because she has developed alongside abuse, and she has experienced it, and it's unclear how much that might be warping her perspective.

when Billy dies, Max feels relieved that he's gone... and that bothers her. she admits that she wished for something bad to happen to him, and she feels like that makes her a bad person. and the connection I'm trying to make here, is that Max might be worried that this method of solving that issue? where harm is the first tool your mind reaches for? isn't a non-abusive solution. so she doesn't feel like she can be okay with the complete and total destruction of a person.

obviously Max wasn't responsible for what happened to Billy. it might've even been impossible to stop it. but it would be so much easier on Max if she could honestly say that she 100% wishes it hadn't happened... if she could just honestly say that all she feels is sad. but there's also a question in there... what would her way forward have looked like if Billy wasn't dead? killing him wouldn't be a solution, so what then? could she have worked with and bettered that relationship? could he have escaped the way his abuse had already ruined him, and was threatening to ruin her too? could he have ever someday been the kind of older brother she actually wanted?

none of this will ever have a satisfying answer. and what's worse is that, like... older siblings are supposed to teach things to their younger siblings. they're supposed to show them things, or give them an indication of what their near future might hold. and Billy actually did that, in the most twisted way. he taught her distrust, suspicion, guardedness. and he also showed her what happens to the people that the upside down chooses to worm it's way into. it's hard when an older sibling dies, and you're left to try and live past the point where they stopped... but it's a whole different ballgame when the same supernatural threat that killed Billy is also trying to kill Max, and she has no template for how to stop it. in fact, she thinks she might deserve it. it gives her zero peace of mind to think that there was never anything that could've been done to save Billy. they were too intertwined, as family... it's understandable that she doesn't want to believe that.