#this is definitely a shitpost

[anticidic]

an AU where Dazai is a streamer in Yokohama, and decides to do a bunch of different segments

watch me prank my roommate! — but it's Chuuya and he does that stupid shaving cream in the hand prank, tickles Chuuya's nose while he's asleep and promptly gets punched (chat warned him not to do it)

tries to do a 24 hour stream but like 12 of those hours is him fast asleep on a couch and he's getting donation spammed with text-to-speech telling him to wake up

approaches different people on the street to ask them where they got their shoes and it causes a scene (local police politely tell him to walk away, and chat gets spammed with emotes)

goes to a café and takes all his viewers out on a date, but really he just likes how that particular café does latte art

makes stupid donation and follower goals, like for every 3,000 yen he gets, he'll tell Chuuya a bad pickup line, and at 300k followers he'll take his viewers joyriding on Chuuya's motorcycle (and then chat tells him he's speeding and making illegal turns)

just...Chuuya getting dragged into all this and going along with it because it's how Dazai pays the bills (those pickup lines get so cheesy Chuuya tries REALLY hard not to laugh)

absolutely pure chaos

[anidealistatbestburntoutatworst]

my knowledge of arcane is that of the jayvik meme compilations i stumbled upon on youtube eons ago- HOWEVER,, that scene during the blockade where jayce is talking to viktor about the people from the undercity and viktor goes “,,,i’m from the undercity…” radiates the same energy as when dazai and kunikida are planning against the guild and dazai tells kunikida “,,, i used to be in the port mafia…”- y’know?!

[delemenko]

Nobody at all:

Night Cardamon:

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:

There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’

like wow babe. good fucking point

[lightasthesun]

Comprehensive Lexicon Guide for First-Time SW Fic Readers:

Flimsi/Flimsiplast = Paper

Flimsiwork/Datawork = Paperwork

Stylus = Pen

Datapad = Tablet

Comlink/Comm = Communication Device/Phone

Binders = Handcuffs

Chronometer = Clock

Spectacles = Eyeglasses

Chrono = Watch

Conservator = Refrigerator

Caf = Coffee

Nerfburger = Hamburger

Blue milk = Milk (literally blue)

Hubba chips = French Fries

Sweet roll = Doughnut

Flatcakes = Pancakes

Tabac = Tobacco

HoloNet = World Wide Web

Holovision/HoloTV = Television

Holodrama/Holovids = Movie/Videos

Holocamera/Holocam = Camera

Holomap = three-dimensional map

Holojournal = Newspaper

Holocube = Picture frame

Holotable = Projector

Holoscanner = X-ray machine

Holojournalist = Reporter

Flatholo/Holograph = Photograph

Sonic Damper = Active Noise Cancellation

Refresher/Fresher= Bathroom

Sonic Bath = Bath

Sanisteam/Sonic shower = Waterless Shower

Hydrospanner = Wrench

Hydro Flask = Water Bottle

Power Cell/Energy Cell = Batteries

Authorization Chip = Decryption key

Datatape = Disk

Datastick = Flash drive

(Personal) Com Code = Phone number

Datachip = SD Card

Synthflesh = Synthetic skin

Glowrod = Flashlight

Sparkstick = Match

Slugthrower = Gun

Slug = Bullet

Vibroblade = a blade that can vibrate at high frequencies, increasing its cutting power and penetrating ability (tactical knife)

Rangefinder = Rifle scope

Turbolaser = Cannon

Ion pike/Vibropike = Spear

Electro Staff = Stun baton

Blaster = Pistol/Rifle

Stun Blaster = similar to a Taser

Landspeeder/Airspeeder/Speeder = Car

Turbolift = Elevator

Slideramp = Escalator

Starfighter = Fighter jet

Rotorcraft = Helicopter

Hoverpack/Jetpack= Jet pack

Speeder Bike = Motorcycle

Skylane = Traffic lane

Railspeeder/Hovertrain = Train

Power Chair/Hoverchair= Wheelchair

Windscreen = Windshield

Podracing = Car racing

Dejarik = Chess

Sabacc = Poker and Blackjack combined

Galactic Rebels = Combat simulator

B'shingh = Dungeons and dragons

Jizz = Jazz music

Wailer = Singer (ie. Jizz Wailer)

Cantina = Bar or Pup

Para Sailing = Paragliding

Aurebesh = Alphabet

Credits = Money

Sleeping Pallet = Bedroll

Naming Day = Birthday

Youngling = Child

Galactic Basic Standard/ Basic = English

Medkit/Medpac = First aid kit

Hypo = Syringe

Medic/Healer = Doctor

Medcenter = Hospital

Bactapatch = Bandaid

Nanoweave = Fabric

Transparisteel = Glass

Plastifoam = Packing material

Durasteel = Steel

Plasteel = Plastic

Duracrete = Concrete

Slicer = Hacker (slicing = hacking)

Identikit = Passport

Minder = Therapist

Synthleather = Vinyl

Viewport = Window

Cooling Unit = Air-conditioning

Honeydarter = Bee

Slythmonger = Drugdealer

Spice = Drugs

Stimpill = Caffeine pill

Power Socket = Plug

Cutters = Scissors

Cycle = Day

Standard Cycle = 24h

Standard Week = 5 days

Standard Month = 35 standard days

Standard Year = approx. ten months

Tenday = literally ten days

Cigarras/Smokes = Cigarettes

Click = Kilometer or 'a moment'

Parsec = a unit of distance

Tweezers/Clanker/tin head/tinnie = Droid

Separatist = Seppie

Promise Ring = Wedding Ring

Body Glove = Jumpsuit

Slicksuit = Wet suit

Civvies = Civilian clothing

Carbonite = a metal alloy used to freeze a person in a state of hibernation

Hyperdrive = device that allows a starship to travel faster than lightspeed

Moisture vaporator = device that can extract water from the air, commonly used on tatooine

Glareshades = Sunglasses

Gasser = Gas Oven

Repulsorlift = technology that can create an anti-gravity field and is used for levitating heavy objects

Heating unit = Heater

Utility Droid = Roomba

Sunbonnet = a Clone trooper helmet

Bad Batcher = a defective Clone Trooper

Banthabrain = birdbrain/ a stupid person

Bantha fodder = waste of space/nonsense

Blast! = word of exclamation

Blasted! = s.o in anger or annoyance

Blaster-brained = dimwitted

Blaster fodder = cannon fodder

Blast off = Piss off

Brainless = Stupid

Bug/Bugger = used to refer to Geonosians

Forceforsaken = godforsaken

Full of Poodoo = full of shit

Poodoo = Shit

Kriff = Fuck

Jedi scum = derogatory term for jedi

Kark = derogatory expletive

Larty = LAAT/i gunship

Laserbrain = insult

Meat droid = derogatory term for Clone Troopers

Redrobes = Palpatines guard

Rookie/Shinie = newly recruited Trooper

Scum = insult to refer to bounty hunters/rebels

Sharpie = Sharp-witted

Sithspawn/Sithspit/Hellspawn! = expletive

Sleemo = Slimeball

Son of a bantha = insult

Wizard! = Cool

Spaced = dead

Hutt-spawn = Bastard

Karabast = exclamation of dismay

Stang = Crap

Buckethead/Bucketbrain = derogatory term for Stormtroopers

Bucket = Helmet

Nat-born = Natural Born

Roger Roger = affirmative/copy that

Droid poppers = EMP grenade

Sitrep = short for situation report

Backwater Planet = any planet that isn't part of the core system

Holocron = device that can project a three-dimensional image of a person/object and is used for communication or entertainment.

Kessel Run = a risky Operation. Commonly used as a metaphor in impossible situations.

Thermal Detonator= device that can create a powerful explosion like a grenade or bomb

Ray Shield/Energy Shield = creates a (protective) barrier

Rebreather = device that allows a person to breathe underwater or in toxic environments

Phrases:

Wild goose chase = wild bantha chase

That's bantha shit = that's bullshit

As slippery as a greased Dug = untrustworthy

Credit for your thoughts = penny for your thoughts

Cut the poodoo = cut the crap

to get your gills in a twist = get upset about something

Holy mother of meteors = holy mother of god

Oh my skies/ Oh my stars = exclamation of surprise

Stars' end! = exclamation of disbelief

What in the blue blazes = exclamation

When Geonosis freezes over/When it snows on tatooine = extremely unlikely

Who pissed in your power supply = who pissed you off

Blast it = damn it

By the maker = exclamation of surprise

Great karking Dragon = expression of disbelief

Lothcat got your tongue = equivalent of 'cat got your tongue?'

Sod it = expression of frustration

[starlight-bread-blog]

"Zuko would take a lightning for anyone–"

But it was Katara that he chose to invite.

"Zuko would take a lightning for anyone–"

But Azula knew to aim at Katara.

"Zuko would take a lightning for anyone–"

But the scene was romamtically coded.

"Zuko would take a lightning for anyone–"

But Katara needed to get to heal him.

"Zuko would take a lightning for anyone–"

But it was Katara who was with him in season finales.

"Zuko would take a lightning for anyone–"

But he needed to choose Katara over Azula.

"Zuko would take a lightning for anyone–"

But Shu needed to survive in this life.

"Zuko would take a lightning for anyone–"

But the writers deliberately chose Katara.

Inspired by @captain-konami-code 's "They were enemies"

[deep-space-lines]

imagine if you could drag Gabriel to apologize to Minos after 6-2

[sentientsky]

guess who’s been wading thru the archives again

[milkbreadtoast]

choose your protag..... YOU COULD WRITE A SUPER LONG META ESSAY COMPARING/CONTRASTING THESE 2 BUT I WANTED TO MAKE A SHITPOST FORGIVE ME🤧✌️

[decaytime]

He was a little shit and nobody liked him (affectionately)

[anidealistatbestburntoutatworst]

the brain worms crave seeing kunikida with his hair down- but alas the brain worms and my hands which know only the creative bounds of shitposts are unable to bring this notion into reality,,,,

[yellowballoon64]

ask

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

high male suicide rate: epidemic 😵‍💫

high trans suicide rate: genocide 😵

high suicide rate among porn stars: (silence)

[dedicatedfollower467]

ed the shrimpede

[notwordsspoken]

Tweek really went "I can fix him" and then actually did

Also, Tweek has been doing child labor since his birth no wonder he'd be good at finances

[t4tyoko]

he’s fine