#this is essentially a re-imagining of s1

[pippytmi]

Your ennemies to lovers prompts make me think so much about kacy during S1. I appreciate all of your Kacy fics and love the emotions you manage to create with your writing. I was wondering if you would be interested in writing a story that combines prompt 4 and 6?

It is an unspoken rule that when the DIA is involved in a case, Lucy needs to be kept far, far away.

At least, that’s how Jesse rationalizes trying to keep Lucy away from DIA Officer Whistler. He cites repeated complaints to Tennant (undeserved ones), numerous whisper-shouting matches in the halls (all Whistler’s fault), and ending in the middle of tense stare-downs more often than not (obviously biased). So really, it’s a no-brainer that Lucy indignantly ignores Jesse’s pleas and makes it her mission to give as good as she gets.

“Good morning, DIA Officer Whistler,” Lucy tells her sweetly this morning, having been waiting outside the elevator just to catch the briefly-perplexed, then immediately-annoyed expression on Whistler’s face.

“Special Agent Tara,” Whistler says curtly. “I was told I would be speaking with Agent Boone today.”

“He’s busy,” Lucy says. “Small mishap with his car.” (She’d let the air out of his tires, actually, just in preparation for today).

Whistler’s expression does not waver. “I’ll speak with Special Agent Tennant, then,” she says.

“Or,” Lucy says, following as Whistler begins to stalk through the bullpen, “you can discuss the case with me. I haven’t actually been briefed on why you’re here, but if you give me two minutes…”

Whistler comes to an abrupt stop, and Lucy nearly knocks them both over; Whistler has to grip Lucy’s arm just to keep her from falling on her face, and when Lucy meets Whistler’s gaze, she sees—strangely—a kind of uncharacteristic apprehension that Whistler never has. Whistler drops Lucy’s arm like she has been burned, and her voice goes quiet when she says, 

“It really would make more sense to discuss clearance with your boss. It’s a time-sensitive matter.”

“Oh.” Lucy tries to hide her confusion, but it’s a halfhearted attempt at best; usually, the back-and-forth with Whistler is inevitable (and maybe even slightly thrilling). Whistler never just…gives up. “Is everything okay?”

“Of course,” Whistler says, already heading towards Jane’s office with renewed intensity. “Excuse me.”

Lucy is practically rooted in her spot, bewildered, and she watches as Tennant beckons Whistler inside before shutting the door. “Huh,” she says aloud. “Weird.”

“What’s weird?” Kai comes in carrying coffee, and he freezes in place as he, too, realizes what Lucy is looking at. “Damn. DIA’s here already? We haven’t even been briefed on the case yet.”

“Apparently it’s ‘time-sensitive’,” Lucy says, complete with air quotes and everything. “Think this means Whistler will actually give us something for once?”

“I’m not holding my breath,” Kai yawns, offering Lucy her cup before he wanders over to his desk. “Hey, where’s Jesse?”

(Lucy decides not to incriminate herself by answering that).

By the time Whistler and Jane emerge, both Kai and Lucy are pretending to be working and Jesse is just barely bursting through the doors. Jane doesn’t comment on either; instead, she waves her arms to get everyone together and begins her spiel about how they need to work with DIA and be a happy team or whatever. Honestly, Lucy is kind of tuning out the pep talk and is instead studying Whistler—everything about her body language screams discomfort, from the stiffness of her shoulders to the sharpness of her set mouth. And when she catches Lucy staring, all she does is quickly look away.

Weird.

Later, after they've been fully briefed and Jane dismisses them to do boring grunt work, Lucy tries to edge closer to Whistler and ask what exactly DIA needs to be here for. But when Whistler sees her coming, she makes a beeline towards Jesse instead, and Lucy is left frowning at their backs.

At first Lucy doesn't think too much of it. Jesse is probably handling the precious, redacted DIA files that point them to the possible suspects in this abduction case. But then, after Lucy is tasked with talking to their kidnapping victim's husband, she tries to be polite and ask Whistler if she wants to sit in. A gesture of goodwill, really, to make Whistler feel like she’s part of the investigation. 

“Hey Whistler, do you want to get in on this?” Lucy waves her case file enticingly when Whistler emerges from the break room. “We can do a good cop/bad cop routine. Obviously we know who's who in that scenario, but if you ask nicely I might consider flipping you for bad cop.”

Whistler blinks at her. “What?”

“I'm going to interview Sergeant Nguyen’s husband,” Lucy clarifies. “Want to help?”

“That's not in my job description,” Whistler says, brow crinkling in deeper confusion. “And I have to go talk to Tennant.”

“Again?” Lucy asks this question to the empty space where Whistler used to be. Except this time, Whistler is not being invited into Jane’s office. No, Whistler is just walking away, and pretending to get a call so she has an excuse to exit the hallway.

In an instant, Lucy is pissed off. Here she is, extending an olive branch, and Whistler is acting like she's too good for it. Fine—if Whistler wants to avoid her, then two can play at that game.

Ernie patiently listens to Lucy explain all of this once the interview with the Sergeant's husband gets them nothing. “So that’s why you're hiding in here,” he guesses. “Because Whistler doesn’t want to fight with you like usual.”

“I'm not hiding,” Lucy scoffs. “I actually came here to discuss…” She lamely grabs the top file on his desk, flipping it open to the first page. “Timothy Summers. Hm. Yeah, I think he's our guy.”

“Great,” Ernie says. “So an arrest is imminent, then?”

“Oh, definitely. That's why I'm here…with you…for our next move.”

“And how does the fact that he's been dead for six months fit into this?”

Lucy pauses. “You couldn’t have just told me that?”

“It’s literally underneath his picture. Deceased.” Ernie jabs at the file with his finger, and Lucy smacks him with it. “Ow! God, you’re mean when you fight with your girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?” Lucy’s voice comes out several octaves higher than it should. “Why would you say that?”

“Uh, lots of reasons.” Ernie pops open a box of candy on his desk, offering Lucy a sympathetic red vine which she numbly accepts. “Everyone can see it. Honestly, I thought you two were going to start going at it on Kai’s desk the other day when Whistler broke the news that we were off the Dominguez case.”

Lucy’s jaw drops. “Because we were arguing?”

“Intensely arguing,” Ernie corrects. “Kai and I placed bets on who would kiss who first.”

“Are you serious? She hates me.” 

“Does she?” Ernie continues chewing on his red vine before whispering conspiringly, “Or does she secretly burn for you?”

Horrified, Lucy ditches the candy; surely, that must be the reason she suddenly feels sick to her stomach. “Forget it. I’m going to hide somewhere else.”

“So you are hiding. I knew it! Hey, can you—”

Whatever Ernie wants, Lucy doesn’t stick around to find out. She decides she’s going to find Kai instead, see if he has any actual leads in the case.

Except she ends up bumping into Whistler again. Full-on body contact this time, even—Whistler jerks backwards, Lucy tries to jump into the wall, and really it's a wonder it doesn't end in catastrophe.

“I'm sorry, I…” Whistler trails off when she sees Lucy. “Um, Tennant said I had to talk to Ernie about Sergeant Nguyen’s finances. Is he here?”

“Yeah, he's in there.” Lucy gestures vaguely over her shoulder. “The tech-nerd talk is all yours. I need to go talk to...other people. About things.”

Whistler nods awkwardly, still waiting, and Lucy belatedly steps out of the doorway in order to head back to the bullpen. Okay, so, Operation Avoid Whistler is officially off to a bad start.

But when she catches up to Kai, he has a much better idea of how to spend their time, and it also guarantees Lucy can avoid Whistler perfectly.

“Sergeant Nguyen was last seen at a Vietnamese restaurant two blocks from here,” Kai says. “Do you want to go check it out? Maybe we'll get something the police didn't.”

Lucy’s spirits are immediately lifted. “Yes. I could go for a banh mi,” she says dreamily. “Ooh, and some spring rolls.”

“I'm…pretty sure we're not allowed to order food from our suspects.”

“We don't know if they're our suspects,” Lucy reminds him. “And besides, spring rolls never kidnapped anyone.” She pats him on the shoulder reassuringly. “Give me five minutes and I’ll meet you in the parking lot.”

It ends up being closer to twenty minutes to update Jane on their next move, but Jane does give her blessing to investigate (and bring back lunch). Lucy has a pep in her step the entire way out to the parking lot, where…Whistler is standing.

Lucy notices her first; Whistler is facing the ocean, hand cupped above her forehead and frowning at something. She looks so serious—and out of place—that Lucy almost considers asking what’s wrong. Key word almost, because she is still on avoid-Kate-Whistler-mode, and she makes a mad dash to Kai’s car before Whistler can spot her.

Kai yelps when Lucy yanks the door open with, admittedly, a sense of urgency that is a tad unwarranted. “What—?”

“Drive, Kai,” Lucy demands, and he immediately starts up the engine, but he eyes her warily all the same.

(Unfortunately, Lucy makes eye contact with Whistler through the window as the car peels out of the lot, and she groans and sinks low in her seat.)

“What was that?” Kai ventures to ask. “Are you and Whistler fighting?”

“For once, no,” Lucy says. “She’s been avoiding me. So now I’m the one avoiding her.”

“Well did something happen?” The drive is quick, and before they know it, Kai is easing the car into a parking spot. “I know you two get…uh. Really passionate sometimes.”

“Because she hates me,” Lucy reiterates, feeling like a broken record at this point. “So I hate to break it to you, but you and Ernie are not going to collect on any bets related to kissing.”

Kai winces. “You know about that?”

“Yes, Kai, what the hell? I expect this from Ernie, but from you?”

“Any way I can make it up to you?” Kai asks weakly.

“Buy me lunch and we’ll talk,” Lucy says, and Kai—newfound meddler that he has proved to be—can at least follow instructions beautifully.

The restaurant turns out to be a dead-end case wise, but their menu is grand; they order too much food and bring enough lunch for everyone. (Even Whistler).

But when Lucy ever-so-casually mentions this, Jane just shrugs and says,

“I told her to stick around for you two, but she said she had to finalize some reports.”

“Wow,” Ernie says around a mouthful of noodles, “that’s dedication. Turning down free food just for work.” He pointedly raises his eyebrows at Lucy, who in turn tries very hard to glower at him with just her eyes.

“Good for her,” is all Lucy has to say about that. Jane gives her a curious look for the comment, but thankfully doesn’t ask.

“Hey, Lucy,” Ernie says suddenly. “I left my tea in the lair. Can you do me a favor and bring it to me?”

Lucy—still cradling her precious, half-eaten banh mi—has to do an actual double-take. “Why can’t you get it?”

“Because I have a cramp…in my leg…and you love me,” Ernie says. When Lucy stares back at him, unimpressed, he tries again with: “And I’ll owe you?”

“Fine,” Lucy sighs. “But you’re being so weird.” Suspiciously weird, even, but his scheming doesn’t click until Lucy is actually opening Ernie’s door and—“Oh.”

Whistler lifts her head at the intrusion, her stunned expression likely a mirror of Lucy’s. “Special Agent Tara,” she says.

“Whistler,” Lucy says slowly. “What are you doing in here?”

“Ernie said I could borrow his computer,” Whistler says. “DIA wants me here until we get a ransom demand, and I wanted to get some work done.”

“Ernie let you borrow his computer,” Lucy echoes. “Willingly?”

“Yes?” Whistler tilts her head questioningly. “Sorry, did you need something?”

Lucy knows she should be looking for Ernie’s tea. She also knows she should probably ask Whistler about it. But all that comes out is: “You know, we brought lunch for everyone.”

“Thank you, but I had lunch already.” Whistler glances back down at the computer screen, tapping away at its keys in a silent dismissal, and in an instant Lucy has had enough.

“Why are you avoiding me?”

The mechanical typing falters. “I’m not.”

“You’re working with everyone else on my team but me,” Lucy says. “That kind of feels like you’re avoiding me.”

“Maybe I felt like getting actual work done for once.” Whistler looks up again, this time with a deep-set frown on her lips. “And I wasn’t in the mood to fight.”

“Hey, you’re the one who fights with me!”  Lucy argues. “Literally, from day one. You yelled at Jane about me in front of everyone.”

“Because you stole a sensitive report which you had no clearance for!”

“Actually, I read it upside down while you were talking about how I didn’t have clearance for it,” Lucy counters. “No stealing required.”

Whistler’s jaw clenches. “That is not any better.”

“But it means I’m not a thief. I’m just…you know, crafty,” Lucy says. “Come on, haven’t you ever bent the rules a little to break a case?”

“I don't break cases,” Whistler says flatly. “I protect intel.”

Lucy rolls her eyes. “Fine,” she snaps, exasperated, “you’re a saint and a better person than I am. Is that what you want to hear?”

“Are you—what is your problem? That is not what I’m saying.”

“Then what are you saying?” Lucy lets the words hang between them in the ensuing silence. She doesn’t even realize that she has placed her hands on the desk in challenge—barely any space between them now—until Whistler is hastily standing up.

Even as tall as she is, Whistler’s voice comes out incredibly small. “Nothing,” she says finally. “Please forgive my…gross unprofessionalism. Clearly, I have overstayed my welcome.” She steps out from behind the desk without even bothering to close whatever she’d been working on, and Lucy sees red.

“Oh sure, just run away,” Lucy huffs. “Go ahead! Prove you’ve been avoiding me.”

“I haven’t been—”

“I’m sick of playing this game with you!” Lucy cuts her off.

Whistler doesn’t move an inch. “What game?” 

Dammit. Ernie is most definitely in her head. What the hell; it’s not like Lucy has anything to lose. “The game where we pretend we don't like each other,” she says firmly. “You’re an asshole and I like to piss you off, but obviously there is something else here and I’m not crazy. This is—”

Honestly, in the back of her mind, the most Lucy expects is more denial. At worst, she expects Whistler to march out of the room and report her to Jane again. She certainly does not anticipate Whistler yanking Lucy in to kiss her breathless—just for a brief, dizzying moment—before pulling away.

Whistler tries to apologize, but Lucy doesn’t let her; she is once again determined to give as good as she gets (in a very different context). Lucy pulls Whistler right back in, grasping desperately at her face and stretching as fall as the tips of her toes will allow. 

It seems to reassure Whistler in any case, who eagerly slides her hands along Lucy’s back and melts against her. Maybe it's the months of pent-up aggression between the two of them, or maybe it's the knowledge that Whistler is an actual human being, or maybe it's just the ghost of the faint touch of Whistler's fingertips underneath the hem of Lucy’s shirt, but the kiss gets really intense really fast.

Lucy debates sliding her own hand under Whistler's shirt—see if she is as serious in her bra choices as she is in pantsuits—but then Whistler flicks her tongue into Lucy’s mouth and she cannot possibly be expected to focus. It's intoxicating and exhilarating and…

“Wait, wait,” Lucy regretfully manages to twist away. “We can't do this.”

“Right,” Whistler says, nodding rapidly. “It would be a mistake.” She's clearly trying to school her features into her usual stoic demeanor, but her efforts are completely undermined by her kiss-swollen lips and the obvious flush on her cheeks.

“What? No, I meant, we can't do this here,” Lucy says. “You think it would be a mistake?”

“Not if…you don't,” Kate says, almost like a question.

“Are you seriously going to throw yourself at me but not even say what you feel out loud? I think you're addicted to fighting with me,” Lucy decides.

“I didn't throw myself at you, and—if anything, you're the one trying to fight with me!” Kate exclaims. “Every day I come in, and you're there trying to undermine me. I've been trying to keep my distance for both our sakes. Obviously our working dynamic is…less than ideal, most of the time.”

“I'm not trying to undermine you. I'm just trying to get you to loosen up a little maybe,” Lucy says. “Which…okay, might be annoying. So I get why you're an uptight asshole sometimes. No offense!”

Whistler frowns. “Some offense taken.”

“Oh, it's fine,” Lucy says. “The asshole thing is unfortunately very hot. Ernie may or may not have had a point.”

“What does Ernie have to do with this?” Whistler looks horrified now.

“Not like—Ernie and I don't sit around discussing how hot you are,” Lucy tries to save face. “He just suggested that we might…you know…jump each other at some point.”

“You're not making this any better.”

“Then forget Ernie,” Lucy says. “Take him out of the equation entirely. Do you also find me unfortunately hot?”

“I wouldn’t call it unfortunate,” Whistler says. “But. Yes?”

“Okay, so…” Lucy trails off. “What are we doing here, Whistler? Do you want to walk out of here and pretend this never happened?”

“No.” Whistler steps forward hesitantly. “That’s not what I want. I…I like you, Lucy. And I know this would completely ruin our working relationship, but—”

“Shut up about work,” Lucy says, dragging Whistler back in for another fervorous kiss, delighting in the fact that Whistler certainly isn’t fighting her now.

(Lucy’s phone buzzing, however, does effectively kill the mood.)

“What is that?” Whistler is instantly back into work mode, smoothing her hair haphazardly as if someone is about to walk in any second. “Is it about the case?”

Lucy unlocks her phone with bated breath. “Maybe we finally have a ransom call,” she says, before the familiar face in her text messages proves otherwise. “...nevermind, it’s just Ernie. He wants to know if we’ve ‘kissed and made up’. I’m going to tell him we’re going to have sex in his chair.”

Whistler half-coughs, half-chokes. “Are we?”

“Obviously not,” Lucy says. Then, thoughtfully: “But I’m technically still on lunch. Did you drive here?”

“Yeah, I have a company car,” Whistler says. “Do you have another lead?”

“No, but I do have thirty minutes to spare,” Lucy says cheerfully. “Get your keys. We’re totally going to have sex in your company car.”

Whistler turns very, very red. “I…don’t think my boss would like that.”

“Fine, then we can make out in your company car,” Lucy amends. “But you’re going to have to leave first. Kai and Ernie have a bet going about us, and I don’t want either of them to win.”

“Your team has a strange obsession with your love life,” Whistler tells her matter-of-factly.

“Eh, could be worse,” Lucy says. “Jane could get involved.”

Whistler—marginally disheveled—manages to crack a smile. “Let’s not let it get that far,” she suggests, brushing one final kiss against Lucy’s mouth with a resigned sigh. “So…are we keeping this between us for now?”

“I guess so,” Lucy says begrudgingly. “Think you can keep on fighting me in front of everyone?”

Whistler shrugs. “Are you going to keep being an asshole?”

“Wha—hey, no fair! You’re the asshole. I’m the good-meaning, happy-go-lucky agent who just wants to keep you human,” Lucy says, poking at Whistler’s cheek until her smile grows even more.

“Challenge accepted,” Whistler says, smoothly tucking a strand of hair behind Lucy’s cheek before casually making her exit. 

Lucy places her hands on her hips and wistfully watches her go. This day has gone absolutely nowhere she expected it to, but dammit, she can’t be mad.

(Especially when her phone buzzes again with another text from Ernie. All it says is: NOOOOOO 😭).

[the-oracle-of-the-lost]

wip ask/tag game, i would like to know about your "Pure Trash" wip. for fun:3

from this wip ask game

okay so idk why i called the doc "Pure Trash" because it's actually a pretty solid concept even if it would take so long to write that it'll probably never come into fruition but the idea is a re-write of new who where Romana was the last of the Time Lords instead of the Doctor (not an original concept by far but still fun to think about).

i only really outlined s1 but essentially the conceit is that Romana (still Romana II), much like Nine, is convinced that she didn't deserve to live through the end of the War but ends up finding the Doctor's TARDIS and starts to play as the Doctor to remember how to be a hero and get away from all of her War-related guilt but the lies she's told to both herself and Rose start to unfurl around The End of the World where she's recognized as the former President of Gallifrey and really crumble during Dalek and The Parting of Ways where it's revealed that she helped start this horrific War she's always alluding to.

i don't have much properly written (and what i do have written isn't the best quality because it's a few years old), so it's mostly just vague planning and a few pieces of dialogue, but i'd imagine her relationship to Rose would be a little different – playing into Romana's tendency to emotionally shut down and be a lot more numb to death and more willing to make hard calls than the Doctor while Rose is a lot less willing to trust her after finding out how much of Romana's heroism comes down to pretending to be someone else.

i'd also think Romana, like the Doctor, is still exasperated with Jack but more because he treats temporal intervention so cavalierly and less because of the romantic jealously (Romana and Rose still have the kiss in The Parting of Ways but their relationship in general is much less romantic than Rose & the Doctor). but they end up both gaining mutual respect for each other more than Jack & the Doctor ever really did (and Romana does not abandon him at the end of the season! though i have yet to work out the implications of that.)

anyways the one bit i have worked out that i'm still happy with is Romana confronting the Dalek Emperor at the end of The Parting of Ways because it's such a wonderful pairing with Romana's character all throughout Gallifrey and would be a wonderful way for Romana II's story to end:

EMPEROR: BECOME A DALEK. THE LAST OF THE TIME LORDS IS TO BECOME THE GREAT EXTERMINATOR. ROMANA: [quietly] The Destroyer of Worlds. EMPEROR: SO WHAT TO YOU DECIDE? COWARD OR KILLER? MADAM PRESIDENT. ROMANA: [grips the device and still speaks quietly] If I press this button, it will be far from the worst thing I have done in the name of peace. You speak of godhood… I’ve killed so many others who have claimed that title. I’ve also killed innocent people and innocent worlds to bring peace. And I’ve seen what the Daleks are capable of first hand. I think one planet is such a small cost to end you forever. EMPEROR: YOU HAVE CHOSEN DEATH. ROMANA: Oh so many times. I’ve tried to sacrifice my life in the name of peace more than I can remember. But… I think it was chosen for me. It was chosen by you when you claimed me as your prisoner and death has haunted me ever since. You really would be getting the fate you deserve because you pushed me to do this. Before Etra Prime, or even before the war, I would never have done this – this cold blooded murder.  EMPEROR: EVEN YOU ADMIT DALEK SUPREMACY. I MADE YOU WHAT YOU ARE. ROMANA: And that is why I would never press that button again. [drops the device] You did make me a killer. You made me the person who ended the Time War. But I will deny you ownership of me. I am not Unit 117. I am not a killer. I am Romanadvoratrelundar and I say no. I make my own future.

[gretchensinister]

Babylon 5 rewatch, S1 E1: Midnight on the Firing Line

This truly was formative, my base for solving the FTL problem is jumpgates.

Landoooooo

VIR

I don't remember the little Centauri fangs--I wonder if that was kept for later episodes

Okay okay okay. They made FIVE of these Babylon stations in TEN YEARS after the Earth-Minbari war. (Despite 4 of them being destroyed/disappearing in mysterious circumstances) The political will! The logistics! THIS IS A UTOPIA

The city I live in has approximately the same population as Babylon 5 which was always useful for me in terms of envisioning scale

Deleeeennnnn (spelling???)

G'Kaaaaaaar

Oh Sinclair you military head

Chin joke=bad

Now, I do think it's possible that an ambassador might not know about an attack, official or unofficial, but I'm not involved in politics

Spoo in the first episode

I love G'Kar's outfit.

I know the first episode doesn't get into the greater history but the Narn can do WHATEVER THEY WANT to the Centauri for real IMO.

I wonder how many details were planned out in advance re: the dream.

I'm so irritated ooh your nephew cool cool cool IT'S UNIMAGINABLE what the Centauri did to the Narn, it was NOT equal.

It's so fun to see the 90s influence even in the attempt to design a futuristic space

KOSH MY BELOVED

KOOOOOOOSH

I want to make that costume so bad I want to have that cosplay I just don't know hoooooooow

Vir what was the job description when you applied because I'm 100% sure it didn't account for this *gestures vaguely at everything*

Garibaldi don't do that

Of course they'll sell to anyone I bet Narn doesn't HAVE ANY MONEY after what the Centauri did, they're DESPERATE

It's very funny to see G'Kar and Sinclair before their character development/all the crazy shit that happens to them

Man I'm not paying much attention to the raiders; I don't think they end up continually important after this episode

Imagine putting on full face alien makeup for essentially an extra role

Oh so since the Centauri have had Ragesh 3 for a century they should just keep it now???? This situation sucks on all levels

The spaceships look fine when you watch them on a small screen like the 90s intended

So from this we can learn: 1) Ambassadors aren't supposed to have guns on Babylon 5 2) they will make sure to have a gun anyway

Sinclair you may be right and the Narn may be wrong in this case but I want to slap that smug look off Sinclair's face so bad

I didn't realize that we got Ivanova's backstory in the first episode

LMAO I want to know Delenn's thought process accepting Garibaldi's invitation. Love her being like "hmmm" about popcorn! Also okay this makes Garibaldi a sort of different guy than maybe the impression was supposed to be. Like in 1993 the Looney Tunes were ~40-year-old cartoons, and in the early 2000s they still aired on Cartoon Network. A guy who's into 40 year old stuff is like a regular nostalgic guy. Garibaldi's character, however, is into 300 YEAR OLD MEDIA. 300 YEAR OLD HUMOR is his (second) favorite thing in the whole world. That's a completely different kind of guy. Imagine a guy today obsessed with stuff from the 1720s. That's a completely different kind of weirdo.

"preserving Earth cultures in the face of non-Terran influences" warning, warning, danger will robinson! (and it's intended to alarm the audience, I know this)

[addictedtostorytelling]

Hi AJ! I’m sorry if you’ve been asked this before but I couldn’t find anything like this 😅 as an old GSR fan I’ve always thought their ending in 9.10 was perfect, even if I missed them on the show, it just felt so right. So I was a little upset when Sara returned sans Grissom and I tend to ignore the divorce thing and all that came with it because imo the two of them in Costa Rica after everything they went through just made so much sense to me. So I was wondering what you think would have been their ultimate ending, like if Sara hadn’t returned and they stayed together around the globe until, idk, they both returned for the show’s finale together. Like what would life have been for them then? I know that’s way AU but it’s honestly how I sometimes want to think of them, even if I loved the finale and their return in CSI Vegas. Sorry for the lengthy question 😳 thank you so much for all your writing and meta, I’m a huge fan too! 🤍

hi, anon!

thank you for your kind words! i'm so glad you enjoy my stuff.

re: your question:

i'm very much with you in feeling like the reunion in episode 09x10 "one to go" was the natural conclusion to the gsr canon storyline.

while of course i don't begrudge jorja fox returning to work on the show—her career, her call—from a storytelling perspective, i also, like you, wish grissom and sara could have remained together off-screen for the duration of the show, only returning for the series finale.

there is no part of sara's or gsr's story from episode 09x10 "one to go" on that i would lament the loss of could we swap it out for them getting to keep their happy ending in the rainforest (and never having to go through that godawful, nonsensical divorce).

that said, i will admit: i honestly have never given much thought to imagining what might have happened had sara never returned to the lab in s10.

my personal "ignoring the later seasons of show canon" happy place au actually starts a bit earlier, in s8, based on the premise of "what if sara never left vegas to begin with?" so that's where i spend most of my daydreaming hours.

that so, i'm afraid i don't have a particularly well thought-out or cogent answer to your question.

there are probably lots of ways that scenario could play out satisfactorily.

to offer a few:

they could stay in costa rica, continuing with whatever scientific research work sara was doing there at the time that grissom joined her. could be there for however many years. eventually, they could retire. live on the beach. become that eccentric old american couple with a house full of curios, insects, and animals. grissom could wear hawaiian shirts. sara could learn spanish. they could come back to vegas for the series finale tanned (in grissom's case) and freckled (in sara's), with windswept hair and deep, deep smile lines, grissom spouting off dichos and sara with photos of sea turtles in their "front yard" saved on her phone.

they could essentially do what in canon they do between "immortality" and csi: vegas s1: i.e., globetrotting as they engage in some kind of scientific research. both of them are wired such that they want to make positive contributions to the world they live in, so they could end up having "second careers" in conservation work (whether it were with a "save the bees" initiative or a sea shepherd expedition or something else related to ecology) in order to scratch that itch. maybe they could live on a boat like the ishmael and sail the seas. conversely, maybe they could be more landbound but move around taking part in various projects, like setting up urban apiaries or tracking butterfly migratory routes. when they came back to vegas for the series finale, they could have all sorts of stories about the places they'd been and the work they were doing. invite greg to come and join them the next time they were in the amazon. tell catherine if she ever wanted to catch the whale stopover in baja, she could always crash on their couch.

or, in a slightly different spin on the above idea, maybe they could become wildlife photographers or national geographic explorers.

they could also go on the lecture circuit, traveling around to offer seminars at different criminalistics conferences and law enforcement training programs around the world. after all, between them they have almost forty combined years of experience in the field and share a wealth of knowledge, which they could use to educate the "rising generation" of forensic scientists. they've both always been excellent teachers, too. and it would be a fun little callback to the way they met, right? maybe in the finale, some new lvpd hire could recognize them from a panel they attended in grad school; admit to having a secret crush on sara ("she was just so knowledgeable about everything, up there with her hair pulled back in a ponytail, talking about how you can't always trust your first blush—").

alternatively, they could settle down someplace, whether abroad or back in the states (maybe in california, to be close to grissom's mother?). perhaps grissom could take work at a university, teaching and conducting research, and sara could assist him. she could also pursue some kind of work of her own—maybe with a nonprofit project. (she's so multitalented and highly educated; there are a million and one things she'd be good at!) she could also potentially go back to school to pursue a phd so that she and grissom could eventually be spousal hires at the same institution. rock back to vegas in the finale as "dr. sidle" or "dr. grissom."

they could write books together: on criminalistics, on entomology, on something they had researched. bonus points if some aspect of the case in the series finale touched up on the subject they'd been publishing about.

i've always liked the idea of them maybe trying out the ranch life—living out in the countryside, away from any big cities, having a few horses and chickens and dogs and cats, grissom getting to play out some of his childhood cowboy fantasies, sara maybe doing some equine therapy. they could take up insect farming. (spending so much time in nature and around animals would undoubtedly be something they'd both enjoy. good for them, too!) picture grissom making all sorts of metaphors about roping and riding in the finale. sara just beaming at him ("okay, buckaroo").

they could—maybe after some significant time spent away from the field—return, once they were no longer burnt out on the work, to criminalistics, but at another lab, away from vegas (and all its "ghosts"). maybe the finale could involve some cross-country fugitive case that required their lab to team up with the lvpd.

maybe grissom could take an early retirement and sara could work in some field of her choosing—something to do with animal advocacy or scientific consulting work (putting that ol' physics degree to good use). grissom could develop some obscure hobby, like raising heirloom vegetables or reconstructing ancient roman board games or something. baffle everyone with references to it during the finale.

one thing i think would be true across all of these scenarios is that grissom and sara would get married (probably not long after their jungle reunion).

there could be versions of this story where they have kids, either biological or fostered or adopted.

versions where it's just them and a dog.

i tend to prefer takes where they'd still remain in contact with their old friends as opposed to completely falling off the grid (as seems to be the case post-"immortality" in canon), though they could do so living far away, if needed.

of course, the main thing i would absolutely want to see would just be them together and thriving, with their happy ending intact.

anyway.

sorry i don't have a more well-thought answer for you!

thanks for the question! please feel welcome to send another any time.

[chirpsythismorning]

What do you think about ST writers staying silent when it comes to homophobia in fandom? I've seen some people talking about this and I have to agree that it is getting toxic, and the creators can say something about it. This issue is not about shipping, it is a serious issue that needs to be addressed in this fandom.

I get this, I really do, but there is a reason they don't bring a bunch of attention to the negative and it's the same reason most of the cast tries to not bring attention to the negatives going on that they experience.

This reminds me of when Noah came out for example. A lot of fans were congratulating him with support and stuff. But that didn't last long bc suddenly everyone in the tag was fixating on the negatives they were seeing, reposting homophobic comments he was getting and just freaking out on a loop over harmful shit going on. Some fans even made like plot twist edits of hateful comments he had under his coming out video and Noah himself commented on one of them, like alluding to the fact that he tries to not let it get to him.

When you're in these peoples positions, you're hearing about god awful stuff happening constantly. And that makes sense, when you have an audience of hundreds of millions of people, shit goes down. ALL the time.

And so it gets to a point where, eventually you have to give up basically. I'm sure there was a time early on like in s1, when they might have felt the need to put the fans in check over certain harmful things. But it probably got so big they couldn't do that any more, simply for mental health reasons I wouldn't ask that of anyone.

Think about Finn who has been through some shitty fandom behavior over the years with fans obsessing over him and like essentially photoshopping a fake story about his gf SAing someone. Did he come forward and talk about that? No bc fans like that don't even deserve the attention. And while yes, it's clear that he feels like grateful about this experience, it's also clear he has an intense sense of bitterness over the fact that having millions of fans means that there are bound to be quite a few who don't understand boundaries. And yet it's gotten to a point where acknowledging them only makes them stronger.

And then there's Caleb, who experienced fucking racism as a child simply for his character getting in the way of milkvan... And he only recently over the last year or so has felt comfortable enough to start talking about it more. And it's probably because he was in large part not wanting to re-hash over stuff that is obviously traumatizing and just not fucking fair for him to have to discuss in the first place. He deserves for this to be an incredible experience. He shouldn't have to give any of his time and attention to people that don't fucking deserve it in the first place. He deserves better than that.

And then there's Millie who has also been through a lot, to the point where it's like near impossible to even pinpoint everything because it's just so much. And she has the biggest following on social media so that makes a lot of sense. Her fandom experience is a large part of why she doesn't really use social media anymore. She used to love interacting with fans, but now it's just not something she can handle. Not only does she have to deal with people that hate her for no apparent reason, she also has to deal with so called fans psychoanalyzing anything and everything she does, to the point where they're convinced they know everything about her and her boyfriend and her family, as if they know what's best for her? Like imagine not having a space anywhere despite having millions of people say they love you, when they just turn around and treat you like a product to be consumed and discarded? It's exhausting.

All of them have a story like that, that just makes you realize that this is so much bigger than ship wars and any nonsense fans obsess over. Sometimes we forget these are real people and they have to see this and it obviously effects them mentally over time to the point where they just can't acknowledge it anymore in order to simply live their lives peacefully.

Now, I'm not saying the Duffers will never address the homophobia, bc they no doubt will. However, I think that in large part the point is to let these homophobes especially feel like they are superior and have the upper-hand, only to rip it out from under them basically.

And that's because we're also talking about a show that is hiding the truth in plain sight. This show is in fact for the so called freaks and geeks (and the gays). And so when that truth is finally revealed, THAT'S when they're going to call the bigots out on their bullshit. Because this show was never for them in the first place! And making them tune in for all of it, convinced it was for them all this time, only to find out it wasn't, I'm sorry but it's fucking badass.

If they're hiding that core message in plain sight, and yet most of the audience STILL doesn't see it, and it's also a big reason why they refuse to even consider byler, then yes it makes sense to hold off this scolding for when the reveal happens, only to throw all of that backlash on the people STILL being homophobic when it's all said and done, despite them saying it was all indeed intentional.

Right now there are genuine homophobes out here, and then there's people that are merely misunderstanding the extent of what's truly happening bc of heteronormativity, which is arguably the way the show was intended to be watched, assuming you're only watching it once through and you don't consume any more content regarding it much outside of that initial viewing (most of the ga). And then there's the fans who are literally queer and love queer stories, but aren't allowing themselves to believe it this time bc of how prevalent queer-baiting is.

By no means am I saying homophobia is okay. Obviously it's not. But people are homophobic, people are bigots. You can decide for yourself which situations you want to call it out and when you want to let it just be because otherwise you're gonna be fighting forever with people that do not fucking care, and that's not helping anyone, least of all queer people who would rather probably just ignore all of the noice and be happy being their authentic self, despite all of the hate that's out there.

We'll have to see how fans react to s5. I have hope that it will go well.. I do think that there could be a time period where people are like in denial and grieving or whatever. But we know the evidence is there. We know that the Duffers are going to be happy to admit that it was intentional to disprove the claims that try to say byler came out of nowhere.

Absolute worst case scenario, I think the critical reception will be something along the lines of this:

[charmixpower]

Hcs about what transformations feel like?

Ough this is an amazing ask. I willingly woke myself up at six am just so I could ponder it some more

So here's what I came up with (I'm probably gonna be thinking about this all day tho):

In general -

I imagine that the transformations only take a second, and are accompanied by a flash of light. Transforming allows a Fariy to use all their magic, essentially it's allowing their internal magic core unfurl and output at the highest level possible for that transformation. Like Faries can use magic detransformed, but I'm imagining that transforming opens up more magical pathways that makes magic much easier. Magic also is a form of pure energy, and transforming is letting magic flow more freely through out the body. For these reasons I'd assume that transforming would feel like waking up super energized after a really good nap, and stretching out your legs

Especially because the Winx sometimes make comments about wanting to stretch their wings. I think they can feel their magic being stunted by their base form, but transforming eats up magic like no body's business. Transforming is opening up all magic pathways completely and wrapping yourself in an outfit that's purely made of magic. First transforming feels really good but after a while, due to everything about being transformed draining magic, it gets really exhausting

Faries are pretty used to the boost in enegry that their magic passively gives them, so magic exhaustion would definitely feel really exhausting. I'm also imagining that your chest would feel buzzy (because that's where personal magical cores are located), and maybe a headache

Faries like Aisha, who have perticually high magic endurance levels from training to depletion deal with a lot less symptoms of magic fatigue because their body's are used to not always having magic to fall back on

Faries like Stella with two sources can get weird half depletion if they only use one kind of magic too often. This makes you feel REALLY off kilter, and is very bad for a fairy

Oh and the first Charmix and Enchantix transformation comes with the feeling of a internal shift. It's like having a sudden realization of something really important, it feels like something deep inside of the fairy has changed....that's because it has. Charmix and Enchantix permanently change a faries' magical core, so you can't go back once you get one of these lol. Nymphix (and what I'm planning on doing with Harmonix might also) function like this

Magic Winx -

I'd imagine Magic Winx would feel the most like the base feeling of all transformations. A sudden burst of energy and feeling of magic all around you

Their source might also affect the feeling. This isn't a staple of Magic Winx, its more like....baby faries being unable to control their magic well so it's slightly influencing them. Only Bloom would really feel this, as everyone else has been learning how to control their magic from a young age

It would be easy to hang out in this form, it's like vibing

My Charmix -

Charmix is heavily based around what ever you overcame to achieve it so there would definitely be a strong change in emotion that accompanies each transformation

Like I'd imagine that Bloom gets her Charmix at the end of s1 when in pure rage at the Trix and ancestral witches after her talk with Daphne, she decides to face her problems head on instead of running away. So her Charmix transformation comes with some rage washing over her, not an extreme amount, but it's noteable

Stella gets hers by finally accepting her moon powers as apart of herself/confronting her absentee mother. So her Charmix is completely based around her moon powers. A calm serene feeling would come along with her transformation. She'd probably be at her most level headed here. It would also come with her connection to the moon powerfully strengthening, while her connection to the sun stays the same. Inverse of her Magic Winx

Tecna's Charmix is connected to her not repressing her emotions and the more loud parts of her personality, so her Charmix comes with a burst of confidence in her emotions. Her emotions aren't heightened but she feels a lot more comfortable expressing them. It's like she's less inhibited

Some tentative ideas, but I have regrettably not figured out everyone else's Charmixs to a good standard

Flora's Charmix never made much sense to me because how is confessing to a boy a great personal difficulty? But, this version would come with feelings of self confidence

Musa's Charmix is so fucking dumb, your not even dating him yet, why are you acting like he's yours? Ohhh my god your such a mess, I love you. Maybe Musa gets her Charmix by admitting that she needs therepy lol? That would be accompanied by deep self understanding, and feeling very right in her skin

Aisha's Charmix always felt odd, because it makes it seem like the pixies don't count to Aisha as friends....when she risked her life to save them. It's also a thing about Aisha having courage in the face of a place she's terrified of and...the way to Darkar's lair was a dark cave. Aisha has done this before right?? Am I the only one—nevermind. But this would obviously be accompanied with a feeling of courage and self confidence

Like? I'm imagining that Charmix is strongly connected what ever feeling allowed them to over come the fairy to overcome their difficulty and that emotion just kinda sticks around

Especially because this is middle form between the weakest natural form and the strongest natural form

Canon Charmix -

I'd imagine it would feel like instantly feeling the effects of a enegry drink or like that emotion when you feel like you can run a mile because you feel so good. It's a power up so it's like that original transformation feeling but...more

It's also exhausting as fuck to keep up because it stretches Magic Winx past it's limits

Imagine a sugar high and then crash, but less high and more power

Enchantix -

I'm imagining it feels like the Magic Winx transformation but instead of just feeling more energetic, they also feel more solid. Sense Enchantix is based around sacrifice (I feel like its a test of there's anything the Fariy values more than themselves. Cruel people with ideals can become powerful Faries, but not selfish people....Fariy magic don't vibe with them ig) it would be fucked if that feeling followed Enchantix, but an assured feeling might

It wouldn't be a very strong feeling, but a slight boost in self confidence

I'd also imagine that their magical senses would be noticably sharpened because if Enchantix comes with a dark spell breaker your think it would also come with a early warning system nejwejnrje

Guardian Enchantix Faries -

Ok so now I got thinking about guardian faries and how I thought the movie's explanation was dumb. How does a teacher just give you a box that makes you more connected to your source?? So! Ideas. Many ideas. Plural

All planets where faries popped up have their own unique magical core that's connected universally to everything related to it's core. So Solaria's sun core is connected to every sun ECT ECT. This is also why faries form perticualr planets tend to have similar magic, the magical core of the planet influences their magical developed

Like: Solaria is the magical core of suns/warm light, Noctilucae is moon's/cool light, Zenith is electricity, Melody is sound, Linphea is Nature, Andros is water, Domino is fire, Dyamond/Isis/where ever the FUCK Diaspro (and maybe also Icy) is from is crystals (certain gems/ice/anything crystalline), where ever Stormy is from (maybe Serenia? I'm looking for planet names on the wiki lol, and this one said storms so) is weather, Darcy's home planet is darkness, Eraylon I'm thinking would be gravity? Something distinctly strong because it's a super power in the magical dimension, ect ect

(not every planet in the dimension has its own unique core. Mainly because there anrnt that many kinds of magic for every planet. These planets can't have Guardian Fairies. So habital planets people moved onto after interstellar travel was developed don't have magical cores?? Hmm, imma think more on it, but I like for now. Magix's would be one of the planets that don't have one because the teaches don't want the magical core affecting the students performance)

So a Guardian Fairy would connect themself to the magical core of their birth planet (mainly because a sound fairy can't connect to the source of crystals, though if their birth planet doesn't match their powers they would have to go to another planet) and THIS is how Guardian Fairies aquire the ablity to be completely in tune with their element

Also there's multiple Guardian Fairies per source, I don't think there would be anything stopping Galatea from becoming a guardian fairy after Musa

Also, because Stella likes to be special and a outlier, Stella is the Guardian Fairy of Solaria and Noctilucae. Her sun powers are connected to the planet what has no night and her moon powers are connected to the planet bathed in eternal moonlight. Yes, we know Stella, your so amazing (I love her so much)

This is slightly inspired by plot points in s5 I can barely remember from my first watch many years ago that are slowly coming back to me as a rewatch

Like in the movie, this allows the Guardian Fariy to be completely connected to the source they are the Guardian of

Also the Faries don't have to be a perfect fit. Tecna is the fairy magic but Zenith is the planet of electricity, Flora is only the fairy of plant life but Linphea is connected to all nature, Bloom is only dragon fire and Domino is all fire, and water is a small part of Aisha's liquid powers, ect ect. As long as the fairy can connect to at least half of the source it's fine lol, and if a faries' power goes beyond the core it isn't a big deal. It just means that part of their powers won't get as much of a boost by this process

Like Nova is the fairy of fire light, so she could either go fire (Domino) or warm light (Solaria), perfect matches are rare

This partly based on the Tynix spells? I'm slowly becoming one of those people who cares about the spells, and I was trying to make a compete list of all spells I wanna use in my writing (it's not finished....Flora needs more than only vine and spring spells) Counterpoint of Melody is too cool of a name. So I'm thinking these are instead Guardian Fairy spells based on the planet's source that their connected to? Andros Hurricane (or Hurricanes of Andros) gets to be added to this, it's too cool of a name to just be a ball attack in Believix

I mention these spells because I think the feeling of the power of their perticualr source their connected to would powerfully course though them as they use these spells! It would also drain the fuck out of them...the og Charmix of spells

Guardian is probably a position appointed by the planets government... And Sea Andros, because there the ones with access with Andros' magical core

Others, that I have not thought as much about because there's a lot of world building I need to consider before I get to the forms past Enchantix...so these are just the og versions -

I feel like Harmonix would just feel like a weaker version of Sirenix because the show didn't do much with the harmony angle

And Sirenix feels like...well you feel the power of THE OCEAN FLOWYING THOUGH THE DEEPEST PART OF—

Your magical core is now in tune with the natural magic of the ocean in this form!! It goes away as soon as you de transform as these forms aren't a permanent change like Charmix/Enchantix

This would probably the same for the other later transformations I have seen yet like Butterflix

....

I don't know much about Tynix and Mythix so I'm not gonna address them, and trying to comprehend Bloom replacing all the girls natural magic with Dragon fire when??? Something??? Makes them lose their natural magic??? (god I'm not excited for s6) Is already giving me a headache (I cannot believe auto correct put headcanon I'm crying 😭😭)

I've been writing for at least an hour straight, probably more, I should stop now I think before my thumbs actually fall off

I hope this is what you wanted! And I'm so sorry about the guardian fairy side tangent

Quick addition due to more thinking, but if Valtor is trying to get his hands on all planets magic sources does that mean he wants to be alpha bitch supreme of the Guardian Faries?? That's kinda funny ngl

[scoopsgf]

hi! so as everyone knows, rory isn’t the most loved character out there. The common conclusion is that she went completely downhill after season 4. Or in other words: “She was always an entitled brat that everyone spoiled rotten, and it became obvious in college”

ik you’re a rory defender (cause that’s what people who like her are lol), so i’m kinda curious what your opinion on this take is. I’ve also noticed people like to point out it was “how she was always going to end up” which i really disagree with tbh

i’ll be honest this take is so stupid and reflects really bad critical thinking skills. rory was never spoiled. i know we like to point this out a lot, but she spent the first eleven years of her life living in a garden shed. i think it’s emphasised a lot amongst the tumblr circle bc the show didn’t focus too much on it, but we know it for a fact and i mean—just think about that: they had one room and probably only one bed that rory and lorelai shared, and clearly no money to their name. emily and richard may have been her grandparents, but anyone who thinks that relation brought about any financial benefit for rory before chilton seriously needs to go back and re-watch the first few eps of s1, where it’s very clearly established that they’ve been estranged for years and they’re all just starting to get to know one another. anyway, i think that debunks ‘spoiled’, but i also just wanna point out that everyone putting rory on a pedestal was absolutely detrimental to her in the long run, had no benefit, and was never anything she asked for. however, the townsfolk and lorelai believed she could do no wrong for a reason: because she was a good kid. she did well in school because she was smart and because she put in the effort; she helped out during dorky town events without complaint; she helped luke at the diner after his uncle died, she helped her mom out at the inn, etc etc. she cultivated a reputation as a responsible, kind person, because that’s just who she was. this interpretation of her character was not fictitiously created. that being said, rory was never perfect by any means. everyone is human and everyone has flaws (which is largely what gilmore girls is about—anyone expecting to find ‘perfect’ characters here should go watch another show). people in her life turning a blind eye to those flaws is ultimately what caused her to spiral—because everyone in her life had told her that she could do anything, she could be anyone, she was a great writer, etc etc., and then to be told by the head of a media conglomerate that she couldn’t and wasn’t? that would be crushing. that would be horrible for anyone to hear. should she have stolen a yacht? no. should she have dropped out of yale? also no. but do i understand why she did those things? yes. as for it ‘becoming obvious in college’, I really think this has more to do with logan’s influence. not to pin everything on him, but it’s not like s4 yale rory was living a privileged lifestyle. she was regularly visiting the hollow still and trying to make good grades as a freshman. her first big mistake was really the thing with dean, which i’ve talked about a lot but: imagine you’re rory and your boyfriend of almost a year who you were in love with just up and leaves without any explanation, and you can’t talk to your mother/best friend about it because said mother/best friend hated your boyfriend’s guts, so you have to shove everything you’re feeling down and hide your pain and internalise it. then your first boyfriend who has a fiancé/wife keeps showing up in your life and you think “oh, he’s steady, he’s reliable, he stayed. maybe i made a mistake, maybe i chose wrong.” then said ex comes to your house and convinces you he and his wife are through, and he’s leaving her, and he essentially begs you to sleep with him. i mean, seriously: no she shouldn’t have done it, but there was a lot of coercion involved in what happened that night (as well as a lot of unresolved feelings toward jess). in the fight with lorelai she asks something like: aren’t you glad it was with someone who’s good? someone who loves me? because that’s what rory wanted: someone who wouldn’t leave, someone who was obvious about their love for her. anyway, i’ve gotten completely off track but the gist is: no she isn’t spoiled, and no that isn’t always how she was gonna end up. she made some mistakes just like everyone else does and the majority of the audience crucify her for it because they, like all the people of stars hollow and lorelai herself, bought into the idea that she was a faultless angel.

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

it’s a fucking metaphor!

Titans 3.08

i’ve finally gathered the mental and emotional resources to do this thing, so let’s go! as always, i’m typing this up as i see the episode.

SPOILERS AHEAD

1. on watching this opening scene, i was thinking back to how gar was in s1, or even the early bits of s2. the way he idolised the others, particularly dick, and his readiness to go along with whatever they said, and the way he practically bled the need for acceptance. and here he is now, openly defying dick, fully open to and aware of the flaws of the people he loves and admires, knowing he is accepted no matter what and extending that generosity elsewhere. it’s a remarkable bit of character growth that’s... sort of blossomed in the background and so rewarding to see and acknowledge. 

1.25. i guess what i really love about this conflict over how to respond to jason--as clumsily as it is sometimes written--is how their histories and individual traumas inform each character’s reaction. dick is torn between his guilt over what’s become of jason and his drive to do what batman had essentially given up on doing: he is motivated to track down red hood at all costs but there’s a sense that he’s not completely sold on the idea that the only way to stop him is to kill him. (he might go the comics route and try to put him in arkham? god, imagine if the season ended with jason in arkham.) kory’s never had much of a connection with jason in the first place, and jason has done one of the worst things he could do in her book: track and kill a member of her newfound family and is threatening to kill more. 

and gar... sure. look. the idea of jason and red hood as separate entities appeals to him; that red hood emerged when jason was drugged to the gills by scarecrow and lost his usual inhibitions. gar’s struggled with what he becomes when he’s pushed to his limits, too--he did rip open that experimenting scientist with his teeth way back in 1.07, after all, and he was brainwashed by cadmus in s2 into becoming a literal monster. he needs to think, to know, there’s a dichotomy, a line that can only be crossed under extreme duress or by outside influence. 

and he says--and we say--that he was accepted back into the titans in spite of what he’d done, but was he really? gar’s always struggled with his footing in this group; relegated to the caretaker, the tech guy, the gatekeeper, and sometimes punching bag even though everybody’s paying lip service to how much of a family they all are. perhaps gar reaching out to jason and offering acceptance is aspirational on his part: perhaps this is the effort he hoped the titans put/or will put into getting gar back, even when it would seem like he’s too far gone.

1.5. anyway my point is that i don’t think it’s worth discussing this in terms of right/wrong decisions because all of their reactions make a lot of sense given their backgrounds/personalities. gar is doing a fine job here of tracking down jason’s friends and trying to find him that way, but we the audience know that jason is ultimately going to end up an anti-hero/eventually-hero character, so with that knowledge in mind we know that gar’s reaction is the right one. it’s knowledge that the other characters don’t have, so to judge them on it is... uh, unfair.

1.8. also, molly is awesome, yay!

2. dick and barbara flirting over the phone is so cute! i love to see this side of dick: lighter, peppier, willing (even if somewhat reluctantly) to put his mission aside to go out on a date with his girlfriend. and i love how easy this makes his dynamic with kory too: it’s all very domestic and utterly delightful. 

(also, re: the water leak in barbara’s office--you’re saying GCPD could afford fancy-schmancy table-wide touch screen computers and evil-lair lighting but needs its frickin’ commissioner to catch leaking water from above her desk with mugs and fishbowls????)

2.2225. this is probably a teeny tiny thing and i’m not sure i want to bring it up at all BUT. the fact that dick feels compelled to lie to barbara about not liking fancy gala food and eating something more substantial before the date? not a terribly great sign, though i wouldn’t call it a red flag per se. 

“this from a man who forced his students to eat cauliflower crust pizza...”

3. so.... conner and kom are a Thing. huh.

in theory i really like the idea of them bonding over an innate alien-ness and longing for a place they could really belong. both of them are alien twice-over: conner a mix of kryptonian and human, practically generated in a test tube, and kom being somebody that was born different and rejected by her own people, now stuck on a planet dominated by an entirely different species. i even like them exploring this bond physically. i guess it’s the sense of... uneasiness around what we do and don’t know about kom that makes this scene land slightly left of centre to me. i think titans, especially through s2, has cultivated in its audience a sense of distrust even until the final episode, just in case somebody vital to the season is suddenly revealed to have had ulterior motives (i’m even low-key suspicious of leslie). i really want to see this kom-conner dynamic play out but the anticipation of watching the other shoe drop is sucking out the enjoyment.

4. for fuck’s sake dick, gar’s not your gatekeeper.

TIIIIIIIIMMMMM \O/

4.5. i love this nod to tim’s origins in the comics, the way he just comes in and lays out all his evidence and makes it clear to dick that he needs tim’s help as robin. the fact that he was there at the flying graysons’ last performance, he was obsessed with their acrobatic moves, and was observant enough to connect those moves with that of robin and later nightwing... all of this came together to put him where he is right now.

(i also love how he can’t contain his giddy excitement when talking about the day dick grayson’s parents died... to dick grayson. even if dick weren’t nightwing, that would be a deeply uncomfortable thing! yet tim can’t help himself, and i love him for it.)

4.8. it’s a testament to how much dick’s caught off-guard that he can’t come up with a better response to tim’s allegations other than “uh... he stole my moves! as you know, no two gymnasts in the world are allowed to do the same moves. now, let me escort you out while pretending poorly that i’m not at all shaken by this...”

4.9. i’ve talked about this before, but i find the logic around secret identities in this universe utterly fascinating. the titans don’t make much effort in keeping their identities secret: everybody seems to know that kory is starfire for instance, or that gar is beast boy. dick grayson is seen hanging out with kory a lot, especially at crime scenes. it won’t take a lot of sleuthing to find out that the titans are currently camped out at wayne manor, and to put two and two together.

my theory was that superheroes and villains have become such an integral part of daily society that it’s almost not worth it to seek out their secret identities, or that it’s just not a big deal anymore. like politicians or diplomats, not everybody bothers to look into who exactly their local politician is, but the people who know just... know. it’s a sort of unspoken social contract.

tim’s broken this contract by confronting dick about his identity, and dick’s not ready to deal with it. not entirely.

look at him! *pinches his cheeks*

5. ngl, it was quite satisfying to see jason knock the scarecrow out like that. 

5.5. i guess... the question of jason’s culpability is always going to be a thorny one and would make for a great courtroom drama spinoff. there are a number of factors to consider: jason’s personality, the rough circumstances under which he grew up, his undoubtedly stressful transition to being robin, bruce wayne being... well, bruce wayne, never feeling accepted by the titans and having most of them turn on him, being roundly defeated and almost killed by deathstroke, alfred’s death, a fuckload of ptsd, his violent death, crane’s manipulations, coming back to life, crane plying him with a drug. but there is no easy line to draw between any of these factors to his actions. i think it would be a disservice to jason’s character to attribute his actions entirely to these things and rather irresponsible to do so. i think jason has to reckon with the fact that when he took crane’s drug, he wasn’t reckless and chaotic like the thugs he gave it to; the planning that went into hank’s death was meticulous and the way hank died--dawn essentially tricked into pulling the trigger that blew her lover into bits--is so drawn out and cruel. 

5.75. it’s occurring to me that crane might have given jason a placebo. maybe jason’s dependence is psychological, and he’s externalised his fears in such a way that he believes crane’s drugs literally wipe them out, however temporarily.

in any case, the boy needs (more) therapy.

6. “he walked like robin...” fuck, tim

“gait recognition sweep” god, this show. i don’t know whether to laugh or cry. hey, once we’re done doing this gait recognition thingy, can we get a goddamn plumber in the house??? or move the commissioner’s desk so that sewage water isn’t dripping on her head or the million dollar touchscreen desk???????

6.5. oh no dick!!!!!! i am delighted that you got hurt but i feel ashamed about it! that looked like it really hurt!

he’s really not having a good time of it, is he. from being shot by a sniper to slamming at full speed into an suv, he’s got to be really fucking battered by now. and that’s just the physical side of it.

“can you believe that just over a week ago i was sitting in san francisco eating cauliflower crust pizza and feeling good about myself for the first time in five years...”

7. kory’s having visions again! now that she’s figured what they are, do you think the show’s just dropped justin? it’s curious that HPG hasn’t been brought up in a while after featuring relatively heavily in the beginning. hmmm.

8. dick’s in hospital but... he looks remarkably whole for someone who took a spill like that. you’d think he’d at least have a bruise to show for it. on the other hand, i love that the first thing he says is ‘i need to call home’. reminds me of season 1 dick and his clumsy attempts to explain away his found family as an ‘alliance of necessity’ or some bullshit. what a long way he’s come!

*gasp* dick’s hallucinating again!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m doing the dick’s hallucinating dance! can you believe that we’re carrying over these huge honking issues unearthed in season 2 onto season 3? can you believe?!!! all that time and effort i spent talking about dick’s mental health from last season has not gone in vain!!

... ahem. anyway. more on this later.

“hold on barbara, i think kory gave me the number to this therapist that she kept calling Hot Psychiatrist Guy...”

9. just an interlude to say that i’m barely halfway through the episode and i’ve already written 2k+ words... ugh. i’m going to try and be more concise.

10. man i fuckin love it when titans goes all out with its weird mindscapes and i’m extra glad that kory’s the focus this time. is that baby kom or maybe a secret sibling that neither of them knew about? was that lady luand’r? and is this place where kory was circling where the secret sibling is? it’s all very intriguing. 

(if justin turned out to be that sibling... we’ve a real luke/leia situation on our hands.)

11. aw, i knew that nice security guard was going to die, but it still hurt to see him go :(

12. this show is so bizarre. like i get the mindscape as a narrative device, but jason using sex workers to try and vocalise his guilt about killing hank was just weird. like. i have to use tamil, sorry: idhulaan yaaru pa room pottu yosikara??? some things just can’t be translated into a second language.

i guess one way to interpret jason’s reckoning with what he did to the titans as a sign of him coming off crane’s drug, but i think it’s more to do with the disillusionment of realising that he was a mere pawn in a more sinister plan, and not, as he thought, a player in control of his destiny, rising to the purpose of liberating gotham of its fears in a way batman never could. along the way, he’s done some truly irreversible damage. it’s a bitter pill to swallow.

13. another hallucination! it’s really intriguing that it’s a young dick(?), younger than we’ve ever seen him, wearing an early-era robin costume from way before he even became robin. (this is also interesting in that it gives credence to the idea that ‘robin’ is an identity that dick created entirely on his own, and as a possible homage to his family.)

“old road, old house... it’s all gone.” i wonder what it all means.

13.5. it’s entirely likely dick’s hallucinating because of a brain injury from the accident, though just hallucinations without any other focal neurological deficit is unusual. he might’ve been microdosed with fear toxin at some point, though i wonder when... did jason do so after dick’s accident? did he get dosed at the factory from last episode? 

it’s also possible it’s a continuing manifestation of dick’s issues from last season--which, if you remember, he never told anyone about and therefore never properly addressed. maybe he was hallucinating bruce wayne in a psychotic episode accompanying an acute stress reaction and maybe that’s what’s happening now. nobody’s denying that he’s under an extraordinary amount of stress right now. another way to look at it is that this is how he externalises conflict that he can’t bear to suppress anymore; if in s2 halluci!bruce manifested his insecurities and self-loathing, then these hallucinations... something to do with his fears, no doubt.

yet ANOTHER way to look at it might be: rachel is reaching out to him through their, well, psychic bond. after all, they were able to use that bond unconsciously last season to get the titans back together; maybe rachel has learned to gain a degree of control over it in themyscira and is sending across warnings? it’s all very intriguing.

anyway:

“i hear you skipped over the discowing suit in your evolution to nightwing... how could you??”

14. can you imagine, gar did all the work of reaching out to jason via molly and jason wants to meet dick? smh.

14.5. “i’m just a regular guy doing regular things” he says, standing at the opening of a secret old tunnel, like a secret person doing secret things, confronting someone who can now officially be called his stalker. neither of you guys are ‘regular’

14.8. ‘my dad was a cop and he taught me how to investigate’ - hmmm. i guess they’re trying to Explain Tim but i don’t think that’s really necessary. so he’s smart and he’s obsessed with batman and robin--that should be enough, imo. 

15. that scene with scarecrow and his mother was... wow. i’m just laughing here helplessly, because what the hell? for a while i thought it was an extended dream sequence and i’m still not entirely sure that it isn’t...

anyway. i still love that titans is happy to throw out its plot in favour of extended character-exploration sessions.

15.5. it seems to me that this scene with crane and his mother (i have no idea if there’s anything in the comics similar to this) serves to move forward this season’s theme of harmful legacies and how parents can damage their children in the name of their mission. in a way it’s been the underlying message of the entire show but we’re really seeing it being reinforced this season. the titans, serving as a foil to scarecrow, are using the damage to rebuild themselves and actually work through their issues together, instead of spiralling further and further into the morass of their issues.

other than that... god, that scene was painful to watch. i can’t say i like this version of scarecrow or how this actor plays him at all.

16. i wonder what’s jason’s play here. i think he’s smart enough to realise that the titans aren’t going to just forgive him and let him be a titan again after what he did, and that dick agreeing to it is just a bid to pin both him and crane down. maybe it’s a ploy to trap them, get back on scarecrow’s good books so that he can have the drug again. who knows.

17. i absolutely felt dick when he said “we’ll bring him in and then re-assess the situation.” what the fuck else is he going to say? the priority is to get him.

so kory and dick are both hallucinating while potentially trying to rehabilitate their murderous siblings. CONFIDE IN EACH OTHER ALREADY

18. TIM NOOOO! you beautiful, reckless fool!

18.25. just to quickly address it here because i know it’s been brought up before: i think it’s perfectly justified to not have conner take tim to the hospital via superspeed because a) i don’t think we’ve seen conner do that with anybody so far and b) it’s probably not a good idea to submit tim’s body to that kind of stress without knowing what it would do to him. the paramedics with actual equipment and experience would be there in a few minutes, so on a risk assessment, i would say dick and conner absolutely made the right call.

18.5. i guess we won’t know what jason really intended to when the titans came to the pump to see him, but this is definitely going to set a big wedge in his relationship with crane. then again, crane got what he wanted--using starfire’s powers to blast through to the underground pipes--so jason can argue that this is exactly what he was working towards, too. 

anyway, mortal peril, hallucinations, murderous family members, creepy visions and robins sprouting left and right. time to get rachel and donna on the scene, i think.

[butterflydm]

starting my re-read of the great hunt (prologue-chap 8)

Some thoughts on the book and potential adaption changes (no spoilers past book 2 except for a line that I THINK is from book 2 but I’m not certain, but it’s just backstory stuff anyway, but I do talk about later stuff in book 2):

1. Okay, already introducing Siuan and all things Aes Sedai politics plus having Padan Fain make off with the horn & dagger in S1 completely cuts out at least the first hundred to hundred-and-fifty pages of the book right off the bat (excepting the Darkfriend social, of course. Man, I’d love to see a version of that in the show; not sure how likely it is). They will still need to introduce Verin, but Alanna’s already been covered as well, and in a lot more detail than she was given here. And Rand already knows he’s the Dragon, so he doesn’t need Siuan to tell him (though that IS a fantastic scene) and Min already told him about the Blood Snow as well. We’re probably going to lose most of the Fal Dara stuff tbh, maybe all of it, since they could easily start in media res with Perrin already hunting for the Horn with Ingtar, Masema, & Uno, and with E&N on the way to the White Tower or there already.

But it’s interesting to think about how the knowledge of Rand being the Dragon in the show could impact the characterization of the other characters. Where I am with my re-read, Egwene and Nynaeve know that he can channel but Mat and Perrin don’t even know that much yet (do they find out at Falme? I will keep rereading and find out!), and Rand is the only one of the five who knows that the Dragon Reborn is a consideration that’s on the table at all. In the show, Mat, Perrin, Egwene, and Nynaeve have all had time to think about the possibility of one of them being the Dragon, which comes along with the assumption that said Dragon will be able to channel.

2. Not sad to be losing Moiraine stealing all Rand’s clothes. Moiraine 100% got a glow-up in the show. She’s still very political and a good player of The Game, but she’s not STEALING people’s CLOTHES. Like, just explain to him that you’re worried his old clothes can be traced by the Dark One’s forces! Or have Lan do it, if you’re worried he won’t listen to you. Rand absolutely would listen to Lan and you know it (of course, this is also the period when Moiraine and Lan start the process of pulling away from each other, so there��s that).

3. I imagine Rand letting everyone think he’s dead is going to be doing the work that him actively trying to push people away did at the start of TGH. Also this from Mat when he’s hurt and pushing back against Rand telling them he doesn’t want to travel with them: “If that is how you want it,” he said coldly. “I thought we were... However you want it, al’Thor.”  I mean, he was going to say friends, presumably, but those ellipses are haunting me this February day.

4. “He had grown up thinking he would marry Egwene one day; they both had.” Revisionist history! In EotW, he mentions feelings of confusion around Egwene, that she has been “making him increasingly jittery” for the “past year” and that “she did not even seem to be aware of it”. He’s obviously been getting a crush on her and his father thinks it’s sweet and his friends are teasing him about it, but there’s no mention of them having a future marriage agreement of any kind or even thoughts in that direction. And then, in their first actual on-page conversation in EoTW, Egwene essentially pre-breaks-up with him (this is all from my old 1990 copy of the book, btw, before the Ravens prologue was added).

In EotW, he asks her if she wants to dance later on and she pointedly lets him know that she’s old enough to get married now and Rand hilariously kinda freaks out about it and says “Just because someone is old enough to marry, doesn’t mean they should. Not right away.” to which Egwene lets him know that Nynaeve has told him that she can learn to listen to the wind and that Wisdoms almost never marry, and there is no indication that she’s breaking off a betrothal or going against even an unspoken agreement in the text (if they did have an ‘understanding’ of any kind then Egwene kinda pulled an asshole move there tbh, by first letting him know that she’s old enough to marry now and then immediately going ‘but I probably won’t lolz’). Rand is upset about it, because he’s been developing feelings, but it all comes across as pre-relationship stuff.

So right at the start of TGH is where the retcon of Egwene and Rand’s relationship to make it retroactively more serious happens, I guess, lol. I’m curious why RJ decided to do this tbh, since he was still planning on having them ‘break up’ again in this book (I think? I’ll see when I get there! Memory mildly foggy), and Min already gave her viewing in book one that “he was not for her, nor she for him, not in the way they both want” and then Min, I’m pretty sure, does some more weird sorta ‘claiming Rand as hers’ stuff at the end of this book, iirc (kinda glad this aspect of her character feels like it was removed or played down in the show tbh). Maybe just so that Rand could have more complicated feelings about ‘Selene’ and give him a reason why he wouldn’t just be all-in on her once she shows up? I’ll keep an eye out and see if I can spot the reasoning as I go. I wonder if this is the book where the bit about the village girls avoiding Rand because Egwene had essentially marked him as hers comes from -- I have a VIVID memory of this line, enough that I’ve basically woven it into all my cauthor stories so far as part of the Rand/Egwene backstory -- but could not find it in EotW during my re-read.

5. I am INTENSELY curious about what the state of Egwene’s hair will be in S2. They’ve made the braid have a personal and emotional symbolism to Egwene that it doesn’t ever have in the books (I think she stops wearing it like two days after meeting Moiraine lol), so I wonder if she’s going to keep wearing her hair in a braid for a while or if she will undo it once she’s a novice.

6. So far, the increased Egwene/Rand backstory seems to be used to goad Rand into action at Fal Dara to try to find her to protect her.

7. Hmm, I wonder if Moiraine sending the Red Ajah after Mat is meant to replace Fain stealing the dagger, plot/character-wise, since a lot of Rand’s motivation in book two comes from chasing after the dagger to try to help Mat, if I recall correctly. With how much emotional focus they put on Rand’s relationship with Mat in S1 (and how much they chose to parallel/contrast it against his relationship with Egwene), I’m... curious about what will happen in S2 in that regard, if they’ll still make Mat’s safety and health a priority for Rand or if they will focus on other things (by not having him find out about it).

8. The first reveal about Verin is such an amazing moment. I love her so much. Best Aes Sedai ever, no competition, no one was ever this much of a badass. I hope her introduction in the show gives me chills the way us finding out in the books that she’s figured out that Moiraine and Siuan are hiding the Dragon Reborn from everyone does.

I also love Verin poking holes in the whole “men and women can’t teach each other” saying about birds and fish. She’s just great.

9. Ah, this goodbye between Rand and Egwene at the end of chapter eight reminds me of what we got with them in episode seven, emotion-wise. Sort of the sense of a goodbye (more from Rand’s side than Egwene’s, as he’s sure he won’t see her again once he leaves and she’s determined that she will be able to help him -- so, yes, very like the scene in episode seven).

I’m 150 pages into the book and everyone is finally about to leave Fal Dara, lol.

[bestworstcase]

farran rereads lost lagoon: chapters 16-17

back at it.

re: romance novel: “I saw a patch of red flowers, and I thought they would be striking against Cass’s dark hair. She wasn’t exactly a flower wearer, but maybe she’d let me pin one on her dress? The color would set off her fair skin so perfectly. And she could at least keep some in a vase by her bed. I refused to believe there was a person alive who didn’t feel better with freshly cut flowers in her room.” that’s gay rapunzel

i do admittedly have some ambivalent feelings about this passage. on the one hand it’s - yes, very gay. but also it feels to me like such a clear illustration of the difficulty rapunzel has with empathy and listening to other people when their experiences or expectations or needs diverge from hers; she acknowledges that cass isn’t into flowers, but follows it up with “but maybe i can get her to wear some anyway,” and of course there’s the whole refusing to believe anyone could feel differently about having flowers in their room than she does. and it also has this weird undercurrent of - god, i don’t know how to phrase it in a succinct way.

this specific passage was on my mind when i wrote this bit in moonless air chapter 4: 

Still. She plucks at the stitches of her jack-of-plate, self-conscious.

It’s the nicest thing she owns. Soft green velvet sewn over sturdy layers of canvas and steel. Armor. She’d saved up for more than a year to buy it for herself on the anniversary of her adoption two years ago, and at the time it had been nothing but a frivolous luxury. Stupid, really. She’d never had real reason to wear it in Herzingen, not for anything besides teaching herself how to move with its weight and entertaining ridiculous fantasies—but last night, Moira had intimated that their destination in Vardaros is fancy as well as dangerous. So the jack seemed… appropriate.

Sharp. She twitches.

Clothing—fashion isn’t– Cassandra’s always hated dresses. It’s a trait that demands a certain amount of indifference to what other people think of her appearance.

And she can do indifference. Cassandra has indifference in spades. But nobody’s ever paid her a compliment quite like that before: baldly appreciative. Straightforward. Not like all the times Rapunzel coaxed her into tolerating crowns of late-summer flowers because the colors look so nice with your complexion! and not like the Commander’s gruff praise for how grown-up she looked in the hideous pastel gowns that had come with the lady-in-waiting gig.

because – like, cass is butch, and “not a flower wearer,” and here in lost lagoon we have this passage where rapunzel expresses this pretty straightforward attraction to cassandra but in the context of imagining cassandra presenting in a much more feminine way than she is comfortable with - in a dress with flowers in her hair etc - and it just... rubs me the wrong way a little bit. and this is not to say like cass can’t be butch and put a flower in her hair but when it’s paired with rapunzel specifically acknowledging that cass doesn’t WANT to wear flowers then it - yeah i feel weird about this passage. 

and that translated into cass having a whole little crisis over being complimented for her appearance without implicit pressure to be more feminine for the first time ever

anyways

i still can’t get over the name monsieur lefleur 

rapunzel summarizes hervanian culture as “brash but can be funny; distrustful but not mean-spirited” so, basically, they are americans

she is feeling very Prepared to meet with them, in contrast to every other time she’s met with foreign dignitaries or nobility before this. eugene tries to warn her that cass is PISSED with her and she just brushes him off, as one does, by saying that cass is “not all bubbles and moonbeams” but that she is “a softy” inside. 

of course this leads up to cass blowing up and going off while rapunzel tries to calm her down and just - groan this line. 

“People don’t change! You told a criminal a detail that puts my entire future at risk!”

how many times have i said “cass doesn’t act this way in tts” i feel like it’s a constant drumbeat. but i have to say, again, that cass doesn’t act this way in tts. i don’t think it’s unrealistic for her to think like this, given that her father is essentially corona’s chief of police and she idolizes him, but i feel the need to reiterate that there is zero sign of cass having this mindset in tts proper. and it does sort of bother me when people read this into cass’s character because it undermines and delegitimizes her dislike of eugene in early s1. 

which like. tts itself sort of frames their mutual dislike as a mutual problem, but it’s... really not? and imo the best illustration of this is in this exchange from cassandra vs eugene: 

CASSANDRA: Unbelievable. Did you eat all the cookies?

EUGENE: I’m not a pig, Cassandra. I ate all of your cookies; I’m saving mine for later.

CASSANDRA: Ugh– you are nothing but a self-serving, inconsiderate, arrogant freeloader!

EUGENE: [scoffing] You know, I can rattle off insulting adjectives describing your personality, too, but to do so would imply that you actually have a personality, and I just wouldn’t feel right about doing that!

this is the dynamic every time they squabble in early s1. 

1 - eugene does something selfish or thoughtless - in this case taking all the cookies and milk for himself. 

2 - cassandra calls him out for it, and he doubles down, often taking a potshot at her in the process. 

3 - cassandra gets mad and calls his behavior what it is (self-serving, inconsiderate, arrogant)

4 - eugene gets defensive and insults her as a person, typically with variations on calling her icy / unfeeling / humorless / joyless. 

which is to say, their fights are initiated by eugene’s poor behavior, and cassandra attacks his behavior but eugene attacks cassandra herself. like, eugene is the dude who insults you and then goes “pfft why can’t you take a joke” when you get upset with him. that’s what this is. 

moreover, when eugene’s, for lack of a better term, residual flynn rider-ness starts to taper off, cassandra’s criticism of his behavior also tapers off, AND she gets much gentler about how she phrases this criticism once he starts to actually take it on board. but there’s no accompanying shift in the way eugene speaks to and about her - the jibes about her being humorless or cranky or soulless literally never stop and at no point does he ever seem to consider that cass might not appreciate them as much as he thinks she does. 

(to be clear, i don’t think they bother cass very much if at all - but they do create and reinforce a perception on eugene’s end that cass Doesn’t Have Feelings and the background radiation of that contributes to the toxicity that develops in season 2.)

like again, pulling from cassandra vs eugene here, eugene is extremely insulting towards cassandra even when he’s ostensibly coming to her defense: 

RANDOM THUG: Look at that, Fancy-Boots has got something to say!

EUGENE: Name-calling? Come on, we’re better than that, aren’t we? Sure, we could sit here and make fun of each other—tease Cassandra for her chronic joylessness, or me for my uncommonly good looks, or you for your poor dental hygiene, tragic fashion sense, robust body odor, and what are clearly woefully misguided decision making skills, but do you really want to go down that road?

ALL OF WHICH IS TO SAY - besides demonstrating an obvious willingness to give eugene another chance once he starts doing the bare minimum to not be a dick to her, cassandra doesn’t like eugene because eugene is an asshole to her and takes the enormous privileges he is given completely for granted. 

saying “well she doesn’t like him because he was a criminal and she doesn’t believe criminals ever change” erases that completely and reframes the conflict as cassandra treats eugene unfairly because of bigotry that she needs to unlearn. lost lagoon takes this even one step further in that lost lagoon eugene is genuinely trying to be responsible, he is taking his new lot in life seriously. he doesn’t need cass to tell him off for acting like an ass because he doesn’t act like an ass. he shows actual interest in getting to know cass and makes an effort to break through her hostility in order to get along. unlike his tts counterpart, lagoon eugene really doesn’t do anything wrong, and that makes cassandra’s intense hatred of him on the grounds that he was a thief look completely irrational and, like i said, bigoted. 

it’s just very frustrating to me.

anyways

rapunzel tries very hard to persuade cass that it’s actually totally fine that she told eugene the secret because she just can’t keep secrets from eugene (except the lagoon which she has arbitrarily decided is totes fine to keep secret and i am pretty sure this contradiction never gets pointed out) - and cass is having none of it, and of course arianna interrupts before anything can get resolved. 

they rush out and monsieur lefleur interrupts them, asking questions about the lost lagoon. he reveals that he heard an ~elegant cloaked person~ inquiring about it in the library. he asks for the book. they say no. the red herring smells to high heavens, and the chapter ends with rapunzel subtly telling cass to hide the book ~for the safety of the kingdom~ and oh my god i just can’t handle the low stakes. 

seventeen picks up from there with cassandra’s point of view; she’s suspicious of lefleur and angsts a lot about how she has no time to train and she needs to get out of corona yada yada. her plan is literally to just walk until she finds someone to hire her on as a guard which. lol. this kid.

i feel like this is the strongest passage in the whole book: 

She said there couldn’t be any secrets between Eugene and her. But why—especially when it meant sacrificing my future and everything I held dear? I’d read about romantic love in poems, and it seemed to me like a spell. Sounded great for the lovebirds, but what about the other people.

Did I just not matter in the face of this love, even though I had been the one to risk everything to show Rapunzel the world? Was I just supposed to fall on my sword because Eugene was uncomfortable that he didn’t have every last piece of information about Rapunzel?

she has a brief argument with owl, who is a pretty obvious stand-in for her own doubts / feeling that she truly belongs in corona and doesn’t actually want to leave. but she has no choice! but it’s stormy, so she can’t leave! oh no!

(i think if tts really strongly felt she had no choice but to free corona, a measly thunderstorm would not be enough to stop her.)

[littlerit]

OOOO building off of the anon ask about ben going back in time to when they were kids at the end of season 1 but me mixing it up a bit

What if at the end of season 3 they all time travel back to when they were kids but instead sparrow ben goes with them rather not willingly + all the sparrows but him have died in this AU ( based on bc if they re going to try and correct the timeline the sparrows can't be there)

Thoughts?

[previous ask about an AU where at the end of S1 Ben is sent back to his childhood without his siblings]

So first off I'm going to preface this with the fact that I haven't read the comics, and I'm avoiding S3 spoilers on the large - so I don't know much about the sparrows beyond their names, and what I think I know might be wildly off!

So, my understanding of this is that, in this situation we have Number 2 Ben, travelling back to the childhood of the original Hargreeves siblings, or something resembling it, and all the siblings he knows as family are dead (wasn't sure if you meant because they got left behind in the future, or because in the original timeline they died as children when not adopted by Reginald).

I'm also going to assume that the sparrows are close, and not just "colleagues" as it were.

Going with the first scenario where Ben2 has left his family behind, I think Ben is going to be hurting. He is going to be grieving, because at best, his family aren't dead, but they are entirely unreachable and he will never find them again because the timeline won't be the same. So they are as good as dead to him. I think he will resent the Hargreeves for taking him with them, even if it was a last resort to save his life or something (in which case, he may eventually be grateful, but he would always blame them still on some level). Whether he would want to stick with and know the Hargreeves siblings, I guess would depend on what happened in S3 before he was essentially kidnapped. I could imagine him not wanting to know them, and taking his first opportunity to break away and escape from the house and people in it that just remind him of what he lost.

If Ben2 is kidnapped and the sparrows actually died before he time travelled, I think he would be grieving, and very angry at the world. And strangely enough, unless the Hargreeves had something to do with the sparrows death, I actually reckon he would be more receptive to bonding with the Hargreeves siblings in this scenario. Because they didn't steal him away from his family, his family were already gone. And they are possibly the only ones who might begin to understand, having grown up under Reggie's rule, with powers and loss.

Ok! That was long and rambly! 😅

TLDR: I think Ben2 would be a lot worse off in the travel back to childhood scenario than Ben6, because atleast Ben6 would recognise his younger siblings. He would grieve the people they became, and the memories he had with them, but he would still have a version of them. Ben2 would have lost them completely and irreversibly.

Thanks for the ask anon, hope you enjoyed the answer! 🧡

[stray-tori]

TPN S02E09 - Initial Thoughts (anime-only)

[ Reaction video w/ captions/subs ] we collectively have a breakdown about the pen, please enjoy it pff-

.

... hmmm... yeah I... ain’t feeling it. I think my tpn feelings overall are carrying this more than anything pff. I didn’t hate it, it was just...... mediocre... like if this wasn’t tpn, I probably would have dropped it at this point.

BUT IT IS TPN SO LET’S GIVE SOME THOUGHTS.

.

. Random thoughts I don’t want to re-arrange

when Emma was like “share your pain with us!!”, I liked how Norman turned to Ray like “Ray. help. tell her I’m right” kind of like Ray did in s1 pfff-

Norman cried the words he didn’t allow himself to say in s1 :( I’M EMOTIONAL. it might not be the icing on the cake execution wise but GOD MY HEART. And knowing he’s going to die to it’s just- (well not if the pen has something to say about it but more about that later)

where- wheres my trio hug :((( RAY HUG THE CHILD NOW

it’s interesting that while Emma got the entire emotional speech spotlight, only Ray got a reaction shot to “I won’t live long”?? equivalent.... exchange...?

I thought Norman had a seizure when he broke down in front of Emma and Ray and I kinda wish he had because while it’s good to have him say it outright (a win for communicationnn), imagine THE ANGST. “I want to live with yo- *coughs up fountains of blood*”.

So. yknow that hideout Cislo or Vincent referenced when talking to Emma and Ray. Yknow where Norman hid the children they stole from farms, making it look like demons did it? ... w-what about them? will we see them? Are they getting left behind? it would have worked for Norman’s plan, since all they had to do was stay put and wait for demons to be yeeted. But now... he’d have to take them all too. But... I doubt we’re gonna introduce a bunch of new designs and characters? Or are we? Who knows. I don’t. I have unreasonably amount of protecc feelings for those children I’ve never even seen haha- WHERE ARE THEY. I mean... the plan rn is to immediately use the gate right? or is the plan to eradicte the GF farm staff and higher ups? I guess if thats the plan it might work. Or I guess the plan is to save Phil for now???

the idea of Sonju just... slicing his arm and throwing it at demons in a loop sounds so funny to me please someone make that.

I liked that Mujika turned to the lambda kids after giving a cup to the demon children but then we didn’t see their reaction or anything and then it cuts to the temple??? that was weird. was there sth missing there? confusion.

I also like Isabella remarking "[a radio] was supposed to be there" regarding the shelter, because it further heavily implies they know of the shelters and just let them be. Which further confirms that they should have just reframed the shelter and had the kids escape from it quickly but oH WELL.

I really liked demon Emma apologizing and Norman's reaction to that. it was a sweet little moment and like, the realization of apologizing for something that she didn't do but is aware of and all that. Cycle of hatred and all that shiz hell ye. Ik the anime won't rly delve into that but I kind of relish in the angst potential of the village - sure it was undone but some were still eaten and died and transforming people back won't bring those back. So, that’s some hella terrifying implications for families; and I'm assuming Norman is aware of those so. guilt time! not that he wasn't aware it was bad but yeah- I teared up at that moment :<<

I feel like this season really does its best when it’s doing the whole two worlds/species angle. Mujika and Sonju, the village, demon and human Emma... all that stuff.

I wish we had gotten more time (god this is really the season’s downfall) thought to see Vylk talk to the GF kids more often. it’s implied he told them not to hang out there before but I would have liked to have him show up a few more times before that but yeah. Runtime very RIP.

I also feel like CW is bending over backwards to put cliffhangers at the end of episodes. that was already a problem in s1 when they had Phil come in when Don and Gilda were in Isabella's room. it was obvious it'd be a copout but they still did it. I'm just wondering why we had to have Vincent disagree with the group to this extend (and if the shock value might play a part in that). we have 2 more episodes, why are they introducing more plot threads? Just streamline it you dofuses. I just don't know what good can come of it unless it's like an ultra big brain move to help them?? (and then we're back with the forcing cliffhangers thing) - if it's actual conflict, this'll just make things more confusing and clustered, and we don't have time for that right now imo. But who knows maybe it plays into something I just don't understand yet and it'll work out somehow

.

. Animation flow kinda dead.

I felt like this episode was kind of... awkwardly executed whenever something that was a slightly dynamic movement happened?

The whole bit while Emma is walking up to Norman could have been better, but it’s passable, except that a lot is spelled out for us.

But then she takes his hand really weirdly in a far away shot with bad inbetween timing?? what is that haha-

Or him collapsing is cut really weirdly. you barely really see it, you just kinda piece it together from Emma’s reaction and her catching him.

Most facial expressions are good though, which is arguably the more important part in this scene. I feel like a better execution just would have elevated it even more.

The only one I felt was really awkward in its entirety is Barbara’s scene with the children demons. I felt like that was in particular kind of stiff and the cut between the child and her was too sudden and felt jarring. TPN anime doesn’t really do that sort of stuff a lot, so imo it’s kind of “??” when they do it. With Norman it was too, but that at least had a good transition over to it (with bg and fg panning) and nice animation. Barbara’s just kind of switched. Tbh don’t switch it out, and as the child screams, switch over to her facial expression as her own voice fades into the scream? I think that would have done it too and also be low effort.

I think it’s moreso the flow of the shots than the actual shots though? it’s a bit too fast paced and sometimes missing inbetweens (like the wild demon eating sonju’s hand is literally just 2 frames) - it’s very weird. It’s jarring, but I can’t really explain why.

I’m sorry for the staff, I’m sure the production hasn’t been easy. maybe with the bluray release we’ll get some updated animations/inbetweens.

Some appreciation though:

as mentioned, most of the facial expressions, even if the body language was a bit stiff.

the cut from the trio talking to the eye-transition of the demon and the following breath animation looked nice. Also his arm regenerating!

Sonju smirking as he cuts his arm off, what a bastard

they didn’t have to show Vylk’s arm regenerating casually while they’re talking but they did.

.

. the lambda crew

If only I cared about you guys. Hahhh it’s just... introducing characters so close to the end is just. A mess. A recipe for disaster.

Where has the anime’s “show off the younger kids” angle gone? I thought they were always pretty good at that. but they haven’t really contributed anything since the whole tidbit about the older children always eating less for them. And even then it was just Lani and Thoma.

Potentially, what segments we saw in the shelter will come back for the GF raid thematically but I’m just... EH?

.

. the cure pen

at this point, just stick a syringe part at the end of the stick and just inject it and it’s gonna solve everything probably.

I just don’t understand why that needed to happen. Assuming they go to the human world, it’d be perfectly acceptable for me for medicine to be so advanced that it’d be able to like, lessen their symptoms and significantly improve their lifespan.

Don’t just... REMOVE their struggles. It’s okay to not be normal and cured. it’s okay for their lives to be impacted by it going forward. In fact, I’d much prefer that.

(added in later) OH wait they literally spell out why the cure being in the pen is meaningful - because it opens up a path where they can live through not having annihilated all the demons - it's essentially the moral "reward" for not killing them. Since they probably wouldn't have gotten it if they did that. I still think it wasn't needed and the blueprint on its own would suffice for another pen-convinience moment but I kind of get what they're going for, I just don't think it's worth it . In their case, going to the human world (while they don't know it) means having more medical expertise at their disposal which they can then use to survive. UNLESS they're actually not welcome over there and have to hide or something, in that case... that might be hard, true. I guess I'll come back to think about this once it's over. For now, it feels kind of unearned and it wouldn’t even have to be this way in my eyes which makes it somewhat worse.

But good, let’s say in-universe you need it NOW, then at least don’t put??? the medicine??? recipe??? INTO the hologram.

What if they just checked the GF blueprint and Norman goes “hey, Vincent... do you think this [database/archive room] could have some data on our experiments?” - Norman said he tried to develop a drug to help them but the supporters who had that data were purged. but... they had Smee to help them too. But SOMEHOW, a dude from 15 years ago just HAS the cure??? (at least let Norman develop it himself and have the data be just THE DATA and not the recipe).

It might still check out somewhat??

15+ years ago, James Ratri was assumingly still the gatekeeper since the switch to Peter seems somewhat recent considering his big "era of James has ended" speech.

I guess the implication is that just like Smee => Krone => Norman, a supporter all that time ago gave random person the pen when they escaped.

When Vylk found him, he also had just the data medium of the pen (not the entire pen), so maybe the farm thought they eliminated it and that’s why they didn’t change their methods to not work with those drugs anymore? It's still a bit curious that their experimentation hasn't changed at all in 15 years but maybe that's because they keep killing the smart people instead of making them scientists to research for them :D

Somewhere since those 15 years, Smee gave Krone the pen (probably a few years before she got to GF?), which means that at that point the gate the keyword "future" sent them to, was still in tact when Smee gave Krone the pen. Maybe WM wasn't discovered yet at that point?

then WM got discovered, James was chased. He made that phonecall update and was probably eventually killed, along with the human location (and likely bunkers since they knew a radio was supposed to be there, begs the question why they didn't remove it) being discovered (the one with the future keyword) and the gate there being destroyed.

The problem is just that it can make sense when you think about it for way too long and assume things in good-faith, but it still feels unearned.

Maybe I would care more or this would feel a little more earned if we knew ANYTHING about that person? They seemed fairly young, so it’s probably not Minerva/James Ratri. The “hope” talk reminded me of the book in the shelter, but I’m not sure if that checks out either? The cookies were rotten but not completely. I know cookies hold out relatively long, but would they rly not be completely rotten after 15 years? I MEAN. Maybe not. Who knows. I tried to google it but didn’t find anything. 

But anyway. That tidbit is going into my “shelter kids OC project” I guess.

But even if the worldbuilding makes sense, I think the data set in itself makes little sense?? How did they find that pen part? Did a supporter give it to them? Why do they have the cure? Clearly their group of escapees wasn’t doing too hot (#help) and they seemed relatively young too so they probably couldn’t have worked in the farm.

Were the shelter escapees lambda escapees? but if that was the case, wouldn’t the WM group have secured the cure information more properly than in just one pen (maybe it was and those were just destroyed, to be fair) - it’s just WEIRD to put the cure for Lambda experiments on the same blueprint as the GF layout??? that makes so little sense.

Plus, why would you send them to GF, when it’s so secured and all that, and not just send them to the human support place our GF kids were sent with the “future” keyword, which had a gate. Maybe it didn’t exist 15 years ago (that the humans had control over it, that is), but even then it seems weird to me to imply to send them to GF instead of one of the other gates that existed. I mean. The “future” location’s gate wasn’t destroyed when Krone got the pen right?

I’m guessing maybe it was meant as help for escaping? But then again, why the cure? I guess if they met lambda experiments? I’m just confused.

Also: do we just accept that the layout of GUARDS and SECURITY MEASURES has not changed in 15 years???

.

*sigh* welp. Still looking forward to seeing some stuff with Isabella hopefully. Time... is not on their side and it shows. Neither run-time wise nor production wise.

[pynkhues]

In a previous ask I asked if you thought the writers dumbed the ladies down, thanks for answering by the way, but what about Rio. Do you think they dumb Rio down so Beth’s ideas look good? Like this episode wouldn’t Rio know that about the car wash? It seems easy enough to figure out?

You’re welcome, anon! And I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long to get to this. The pandemic just sort of threw a grenade into my life in many respects, and I still feel like I’m scrambling to catch up on things – including my ask box – particularly for asks I have longer replies to like this one! 

As for your question – it’s a really interesting one! I don’t disagree with the sentiment at all, and can completely understand where you’re coming from. It is obvious, and seems a bit of a convenient pivot for a character who’s generally been depicted to us as very intelligent, a step ahead, a kingpin, etc. etc. 

Probably surprisingly, my answer as to whether or not they’ve dumbed Rio down in s3 to make Beth look good is actually no though. I mean - gosh - think of his re-introduction this season which was entirely about showcasing how well he was able to play Turner and ‘handle him’ in the way Beth had no capacity to. In fact, a lot of this season was about positioning Rio as competent, powerful, and aspirational overall for Beth, but actually in some ways Ruby and Annie too. He’s really their yardstick in how they measure themselves and their own success, and I think a lot of this season was trying to add dimension to that and him overall, both in the slightly softer ways (i.e. Rhea, Marcus, and even Mick) and the harder ways (Lucy, Turner and even Beth). 

Which brings me to something I’ve actually thought since 2.04 but never really elaborated on here beyond brief mentions, haha. 

I think the show is running a subtextual storyline with Rio. I think it’s been running that storyline actually since Turner’s introduction in 1.04, and that it’s been on-and-off successful on a textual narrative level – mostly because they don’t give us enough of it. I do think it’s there though, and pretty consistent if you’re keeping an eye on it, but it doesn’t really bleed through enough to sate audiences beyond that. (And hey look! I’m one of the people who doesn’t usually have too big of an issue about Rio’s lack of screen time!) 

But yes, haha. 

What I’m getting at is that I think there’s a parallel, very present storyline that is trying to tell us that Rio’s business and operation was already under the microscope by the feds before the show had even started, and that Beth and the girls getting him arrested in 1.10 has been a hurdle that’s had major ramifications.

So let’s break that down a bit. 

I feel heat on, I shutdown.

The seed for this storyline is, in many ways, planted with Beth’s monologue in 1.02 where she tells Rio that if he kills her, Ruby and Annie, he’s ultimately playing himself (there are hashtags and movements after all, haha). The set-up here is that Beth is an outlier for Rio in more ways than one, but there’s also an inference that Rio’s used to pulling the trigger first, and dealing with the fallout later – something that’s reiterated through his handling of Eddie in this very season, and then later Lucy in s3. 

But we’ll come back to that. 

The point here is that Beth calls him out on not being as subtle as he thinks he is, which is a fact that the story doubles down on with Turner’s introduction two episodes later in 1.04. Turner’s FBI, and he’s in town specifically investigating Rio. It’s immediately clear that there are a lot of gaps in that investigation, and in a lot of ways Beth bridges those gaps for Turner, but still. Turner was always onto Rio before Beth was ever in the picture.

In this sense, Rio’s seeming position in the crime world is already splintering – he has the feds on his tail already. Something happens – we never find out the details – in 1.04 which has one of his boys shot badly (Eddie), and Rio deliberately drops him off with somebody who’s very much on the perimeters of his operation (Beth). That same boy is later pinned by the feds and blackmailed by Turner (1.07) and something happens that quickly leads to Rio not only shutting down business, but seizing all of his assets from everyone, including Beth and the girls (1.08). 

He has Eddie killed, orchestrates a test in 1.09 to see how much information Eddie actually leaked to the feds – a test Beth took personally – before he tries to cut her out and Beth retaliated by having him arrested in 1.10. 

I’m out, I’m done, time for something new.

Which means starting s2, Rio’s business hasn’t actually been up and running since 1.07, and he’s now got a very public arrest on his record too. 

I don’t think it’s an accident that Rio’s shown as virtually alone in s2 outisde of Beth, Marcus and Gretchen, rather I think it’s a deliberate effort to show where his priorities have resettled – which is in business (which Beth is, which I’ll come back to shortly), his son, and his freedom respectively.

But yes. 

Let’s talk about work. 

Rio tries to get Beth to handle Boomer (2.01), the key witness in the case she’s just given a lot of weight to through the Fine & Frugal job in 1.10, but generally speaking, I think Rio’s still technically, professionally shutdown for the first half of the season. Not only that, but he seems to be trying to disentangle from fake cash generally to get into prescription pill distribution – a pretty distinct pivot for him. 

This could be a bit of a controversial opinion, but I don’t think he printed any new cash in s2. I think everything he left for Beth was stuff he had before she’d gotten him arrested, and I think that that’s demonstrated with him giving it to her in the first place (Beth says it herself in the same episode – if they can’t wash it, it’s just paper) and with him flipping his game overall. 

In other words, I think Rio was still shutdown and trying to figure out how to redistribute the work he could operate, while he handled the court case and no doubt tried to cover his losses. 

And in that incredibly stressful set of circumstances, I think Rio threw a line out to Beth as someone who owed him and was unencumbered by other networks in the crime world, and she bit, she delivered, and then Rio took advantage.

Something that was only ever made more complicated by their relationship, of course, haha, but even after that, I think he justified her presence in his life as a useful and unexpected card in his deck, and someone to keep his bed warm. In that capacity too though, I actually don’t think Rio ever intended for Beth to find out about the pills. I think he was already building that operation, saw an opportunity in Boland Motors, and worked it. 

The point is that things were fraying for Rio back in s1. I think that things were getting back on track for him at the start of s2, but then fell apart in a way that was bigger and worse towards the end of it. 

Beth successfully wrangled half his business, sure, and he not only let her, but he made a bad choice in investing too much in Boland Motors because he thought he had a better handle on her overall. Boland Motors ended up not just being the front for him to wash the cash he’d made via the girls, but was now the key stop-point for the drugs he was bringing across the border.

I’m sure he did have other operations at this point, but Boland Motors was BIG, and it blew up for him twice over.

First when Beth dumped him in 2.09.

Then with the FBI raid in 2.10, which ultimately rendered their cash useless in 2.12.

Something I imagine was only made worse by Ruby dumping the pills that would ordinarily be delivered through the car airbags in 2.10 too. 

So who made your money? 

Which brings us to where we are in season 3, where actually a lot of this seems to come to a head off-screen. I think this season actually really quickly established three things that work together and with the information of previous seasons pretty effectively, just that it was hindered by it being too subtextual, and not quite textual enough in certain parts. 

1. Rio’s operation is still kicking, albeit not without challenges. He’s able to set up other crews, while mobilising his own to assassinate Turner from what is essentially a lockdown situation. The first episode is devoted to telling us exactly how powerful Rio is, while also how much he isn’t. We get Rio playing puppeteer with Turner and the crime world, but we also get the disconnect from his child as symbolised through the model airplane, and the lack of connection he has to his family through Beth and Rhea’s relationship. It’s a really great character breakdown to parallel Rio’s control over his professional life, and lack of control over his personal one. 

2. Rio’s lost professional networks and is struggling to re-make them. This is actually the point I think we needed more of in the show, because I do think it’s there, but I don’t think it’s as textual as it should be. I’ve said it on here before, but we know from 1.03 that Rio’s never designed his own money – it’s what he sent Beth, Ruby and Annie to go collect from Canada after all, and that design was cooked by 2.12. 

We also know he was washing cash through a variety of local businesses prior to his arrest in 1.10 as per the news report in the same episode, and from the fallout in s2, it seemed like those networks had dried up, hence him giving Beth the money to wash in 2.04 and then jumping all in on Boland Motors. 

Beth also latches onto this concept in 3.04 when she tries to negotiate with Rio for her life, telling him “no cars, no pills, no cash, it’s gotta hurt”, and he responds, pretty simply with “You don’t know my interests.” 

Which she doesn’t, particularly as she latches onto the idea of Rio needing money, because I don’t think he does, and I think the introduction of the G Wagon this season was a significant symbol in teling us that as an audience.

I don’t think Rio needs money. I think he needs to be making other people money. 

I think he needs the business.

It seems to be something underlined in Rio’s confrontation with Gil in the bar later in the episode. He’s holding Gil to get the name of the person designing his money, because Rio knows the value of the product, and he needs to rebuild professionally after the arrest, raids and his own disappearance, and it’s only re-emphasised by Rio taking over Beth’s operation when he finds out. She owes him enough, is on the backfoot enough, that he can own all of it, knowing she’ll let him.  

3.  Lastly is that Rio is, and always has been, a dangerous person with a ready and willing trigger finger. He handles his rotten eggs – for better and for worse. 

Sophie, what are you going on about?? 

A good question, me, haha. I guess my point in all of this is the fact that I think Rio’s comfortable financially but is in deep in crime and as a result has a lot of people relying on him (both above him and below him) to build business. Since the shutdown in s1 and his arrest then disappearance, I think shit’s hit the fan, and a lot of his old professional avenues have been cut off, and that Beth presents to him as this sort of perfect in to a world he’s just been re-ostracised from. 

The carwash was obvious, of course it was, but I think that was sort of the point? I think it was a narrative signpost of how many steps backwards Rio’s operation has had to walk, and how far Rio’s been boxed into a corner (something I actually do think would have re-emerged on a textual level this season given we know we were supposed to be meeting Rio’s crime bosses).

I think he wanted another Boland Motors sort of operation, and forcing Beth’s hand created Boland Bubbles, and I think the prospect of that was a relief to him in more ways than not (hence his tone shift in 3.11). 

Beth is, after all, a logical person in many ways for Rio to invest in because she owes him, and because she has no other ties in the crime world. I’ve said this in multiple other posts, but I think Rio’s really deliberately kept it that way. I think he sees her potential, yes, and I actually do think a part of him wants to protect her (again, 2.07 being the clearest example of that), but I also think he sees her as an asset for himself. She’s quick on her feet, exists in a world he can’t – that world being middle class, white mama – and he can throw down a challenge to her, knows she’ll rise to meet it, and present a solution.

She did it unprompted in s1 with the secret shoppers, prompted when given the means in s2 with Boland Motors, and then prompted with a threat in s3 with Boland Bubbles. 

For all his talk of not knowing how to incentivise her in 3.10, he really does know, and more than that, he knows how to prompt her to level up in a way he can then take advantage of. 

Does this mean that Rio can’t or doesn’t come up with the ideas? Of course not! (Athough I do think he likes outsourcing them, haha) But I think he’s aware of where he stands and who he is and what he looks like, and I think that’s been compounded by a period of time that’s been dangerous for him both personally and professionally, and fuck - - exhausting too. I mean – he was shot! Three times! In the chest! 

But I do think Rio’s a kingpin too. It’s just been a hard year, y’know?

(Because I think it mostly has just been a year? There’s something to be said here after all given we know there was only eight months between early-s1 and 2.12 given the timestamp, and now only two months apparently between 2.09 and 3.03, so it very well could’ve been only little over a year in canon? That said, requesting any sort of logical timeline on this show feels like a trap, haha).

I don’t know though! This is just my theory. What do you guys think?

[spooky-space-kook]

Goddammit. Okay. Things I am obsessed with from In The Flesh. (NOTE: I am a dumbass who knows jackall about anything I'm talking about. If I'm ever insensitive about a topic, please just tell me. I only do my best, ok?)

Amy is a gift and every moment she's on screen I fall in love that little bit more. This isn't a deep assessment I just fucking love Amy.

I could be completely off base, but each of our main "PDS Sufferers" feel as though they represent different ways mental illness is expressed. I know fuckall about most mental illnesses and so will leave it at that. I just think it's interesting.

I also like how they use characters to show the many different responses to oppression. Keiran's initial go-along-to-get-along becoming awareness and resentment. Freddy insisting he's not like the others. Simon finding purpose. Keiran's parent's blind ignorance and total faith in the system. Ken Burton becoming fervently anti-undead to hide the fact his wife is undead and returned home. Bill and Rick acting as though it isn't real, and crumbling the moment the thin veil is torn away. And Amy being the treasure she is and just leaning way the fuck in.

Everyone dressed in Amy's style at the end. Especially Sue and Shirley. Even more that Keiran's idea of "moregeous" is Old Man Hat.

The contrast between Rick and Simon's room. The former clearly hiding under so much masculine hooplah. Sexy half naked women, army crap. And at odds with the character we get glimpses of when in Keiren's presence. The latter's room is very much... well, gay. And young. Walls covered in boyband posters and race car drivers. I know the director said he left home as a teen, and honestly I'm surprised it wasn't earlier. The space is very much a pre-teen's. It says so much about Simon's character. That even if he left in his mid-teens, he must've started drifting away much earlier.

Simon's many, many layers and huge shirts. To me it ties strongly with what we learn in s2 ep5. It comes off as dressing to hide oneself.

The village's characters all interact like people who have known one another for years. Even the bad guys. When Keiran is in a very dire situation and being threatened by Gary in the last episode, he still talks to him like you would any schmuck you've known since elementary days. And all the interactions are this way. Personal and understanding in a way that's specific to a community where everyone has always known everyone. Fuck I love it so much.

I just appreciate the consistent characterization so much. It's so fucking good. Even when they started having to rush things along, they did it well. Characters grew without becoming totally different people.

S2 Ep5. Ignoring revoked consent. It was a very interesting moment to me. The whole episode made me re-evaluate a lot of aspects of the character, but this in particular stood out as impactful.

Even through it all, I sympathize with Jem and Gary and every other poor soul who lived through the Rising. I don't know if I'm supposed to, but I do. What they went through was awful. And traumatizing. They have every reason to be afraid. It is not an invalid fear. I love that they never showed us the human's experiences, because we've likely seen it enough times to understand and sympathize.

AND FURTHERMORE every PDS Sufferer is as much a victim! Because they really weren't in control, and had no way to be besides.

And along with that note, I love the moment when Jem makes The Big Mistake. Because I agreed with her. I thought she should go to the authorities. It was an accident, but the consequences were huge. And immediately after thinking this, I asked myself why I feel our PDS souls should get a pass due to trauma and lack of control, when Jem essentially had the same experience as a result of PTSD. I love that so much. The show constantly has me comparing and contrasting the experiences of the living and undead.

The very deliberate staging of Weston and Halperin. First working together, eventually split, and finally... no Weston at all. The moment where they are standing separate, Halperin with their benefactor on one side, Weston on the other, divided by a column, is very interesting. Halperin is friendly and welcoming to Weir, the representative of their funding source. Weston is clearly hostile. After that moment, we never see Weston again. So much said with so little! Ugh! So good! I want to know more about that divide. What it lead to. Why was Weston gone later?

I like Gary. There I said it. He's a horrible person but a damn good character. I simultaneously sympathize with him and want to slap the absolute shit out of him. We get glimpses into his total inability to cope (the story at lunch, coping with humor. Terrorizing people. Refusing to move on.) But it's interesting. When we see him with the living he seems like a fairlu nice, empathetic person. Were this the Walking Dead, Gary would be the Good Guy. He'd maybe even be our protagonist. And in a lot of ways the show treats him appropriately. We see many facets to his personality, both good and bad. We see him in a sympathetic light occassionally. He's never quite a 2 dimensional nut job or monster. It's great.

Every shot in Simon's former home. Every. Single. Shot where they are together? Empty chair. The emphasis on a missing figure is so lovely and clever. And sad.

This is the world's smallest thing but no two actors look more like mother and son than Sue and Keiran. Same big fuck-off doe eyes.

There'll be more, just you fuckin' wait. I've been rewatching the shit out of this show and need to get my thoughts out.

ADDITIONALLY. SPOILERS BTW.

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If Keiran is the first risen I will eat every left sock I fucking own. I went back to s1 ep2 and there were about a zillion other legs walking around when he crawled his lazy ass out of that coffin! Which is even more infuriatingly intriguing.

I'm also not surprised that literally zero fic can imagine our main pair being together outside of small moments near the show's timeline. Simon has an addictive personality and only just found purpose. I think domesticity wouldn't suit him. Meanwhile Keiran craves it. That and normalcy, simplicity... I wish there had been more time to see that conflict.

I wish we could've seen more of Gary. I want to know if they ever planned redemption for him. The way they treat him, it feels like they were going to. His portrayal felt too sympathetic, otherwise.

I wish we could have seen Jem grow. She was such a good character and I genuinely felt for her. Simultaneously called a badass and a coward. Maybe feeling that way too. She deserved the rest of the arc she never got.

ALSO. I NEED TO KNOW. WHO THE LEADER OF THE ULA IS. I NEED TO. My suspicions: John Weston. But we'll never know now T_T

[kinetic-elaboration]

January 5: Mr. Robot 3x01

Returned to watch Mr. Robot today. It’s a hard series to rewatch straight through, but it’s also hard to take breaks and remember everything that was happening--so a rock and a hard place.

The aesthetic of this show is definitely hardcore. I respect the decision to have an entire blackout episode, especially for the premiere; why hide your cards lol?

Maybe I’m a basic bitch, but I loved that hacker-club-scene thing. The artificial brightness of the screens, the transparent floor, the secrecy of it, the sudden EDM.

I can’t remember details but I’m fairly sure Darlene has already been turned. It would explain the FBI following them, and her lack of concern about it, why she was let go in the first place, and who she was calling in the bathroom (Dom).

Interesting that the two most important women in Elliot’s life have both been turned, but by opposite sides (Darlene by the FBI and Angela by Dark Army). He can’t really trust either of them. But his own group doesn’t exist: fsociety is essentially gone by now, everyone either exiled/presumed dead or actually dead. So he’s really on his own.

I’m not sure if I believe Angela knows him better than anyone, and I certainly don’t think he knows her. I wish I could remember my previous Elliot/Angela thoughts. I do ship them, in a soulmate-ish way, but I can’t remember if I think it’s real/original Elliot who loves her, or the Hacker. I think it must have been Elliot originally, but it bled into the Hacker, too. He doesn’t seem to see her clearly; sometimes she becomes an image or icon for him rather than a human.

Not sure what to think of “She doesn’t love the people who love her, she only loves the people who don’t.”

Tyrell is pretty obviously in love with Mr. Robot specifically lol.

The Red Wheelbarrow looks like hell.

That little mid-episode rant/meta-interlude, though very slightly connected to the plot in that it got Elliot set on not only stopping Stage 2 but actively undoing 5/9′s effects, is still... too much for me lol. I get it. I don’t generally mind Elliot’s rants that much because I never feel like we’re supposed to be with him then, but rather...judging him a little? But this one, because of the Trumpism of it all, made me feel like I was being preached to. It also dated the show. Like... I think it’s strong enough that it doesn’t need to put its cards on the table like that.

It was very interesting to include Angela interacting with Mr. Robot.

I don’t know how other viewers feel but... I could imagine some people not really liking the teasing of the ‘time travel’ idea, which is very uncharacteristically sci fi for a show that is not at all sci fi, actually. But I personally loved it. The whole universe is such that you never 100% believe it...but it’s a consistent idea in the background for so long, and there are enough little meta-hints scattered around, that you almost thing... gosh COULD they pull it off? But it’s ultimately there to function as theme, not plot. So much of the show is about people seeing these huge, intractable problems, and trying to fix them, and then trying to undo, undo, undo. Whiterose and Angela aren’t the only ones seduced by the biggest rewind button of all. Elliot (and Trenton and Mobley before him) also wants to undo what he’s done. But first of all, truly going backwards is impossible--and second, you might not like regression when you see it.

It’s so easy to watch the show and think that Elliot and Mr. Robot are adversaries, the real personality being beaten down by an alter, at war with it, but knowing they’re both alters, and re-watching S1 and seeing how Mr. Robot specifically brings the hacker in... it’s like they were designed to function together. Then that starts to go awry as the Hacker sees himself less as an alter and more as the Actual Elliot. (...This is still a tentative theory.)

[theastrophilearchitect]

March TBR/W.

Every book, audiobook, tv show and movie I want to consume in March 2021.

-Hence ‘TBR/W’ - to-be-read/watched.

I’m not usually a fan of pre-planning my media for the month - I plan out all my media obsessively, but doing it by month seems a little too much like setting deadlines for my taste, and I’m sure I’ll somehow manage to turn watching tv into a chore. Regardless, it’s worth a shot, so this is going to be a rough guide - I’m going to pick four of each category, one per week, because I’d rather underestimate and surpass than overestimate and have to defer things to the next month. So let’s go.

Books

1. Skyward and 2. Starsight by Brandon Sanderson

Skyward is set in a future where the human race is on the verge of extinction, trapped on a planet constantly attacked by alien warriors. Spensa, a teenage girl stuck on the planet, wants to be a pilot, but it seems far-off. Then, she finds the wreckage of a ship that appears to have a soul, and she must figure out how to repair it, and persuade it to help her navigate flight school.

In truth, I mainly want to read this because of how highly it’s been praised by Hailey in Bookland on YouTube. I actually tried reading Sanderson’s Mistborn series a couple years ago, and just didn’t click with it. I love fantasy, but I can pretty confidently say epic fantasy just isn’t for me. However, Sanderson’s work is adored by many, and Skyward and its sequel Starsight appeal so much more to me, and I can’t wait to get to them.

3. House of Earth and Blood by Sarah J Maas

This is Maas’s first technically-adult book; Throne of Glass is young adult, ACOTAR being classed either as young or new adult. I’ve been a fan of Maas for a long time, and, though I enjoy her books less now than I have in the past due to how seriously they tend to take themselves, I’d still love to read this one. Where her previous series were both fantasies, this sits somewhere between that and a sci-fi, but I can’t say as-of-yet what I think, because I haven’t read it yet.

Bryce Quinlan finds herself investigating her friends’ deaths in an attempt to avenge them after they were taken from her by a demon. Hunt Athalar is a Fallen angel, enslaved by Archangels, forced to assassinate their enemies, when he’s offered a deal to assist Bryce in exchange for his freedom.

4. Scythe by Neal Shusterman

I listened to this as an audiobook in 2019 as part of BookTuber Book Roast’s Magical Readathon, and didn’t hugely get along with it in truth. The audiobook was excellent as an audiobook, but the story Ian’s I just didn’t really vibe. I think I just want to like this book, so I think it’s worth a reread to see if my opinion changes.

This follows Citra and Rowan, a reluctant pair of apprentice Scythes - in a utopian future where humanity has the means to live forever, it is the job of the Scythes to control the population by essentially reaping the souls of those they choose to die. Neither Citra or Rowan want it, but I don’t remember enough about this book to say any more.

Audiobooks

1. Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins

This is the last book in the Hunger Games trilogy, and you either already know what this series is about, or you’ve been living under a rock for the last thirteen years. I read this book for the first time nearly seven years ago, and it’s stuck with me. It sent me into a phase of only reading dystopian books (The Darkest Minds by Alexandra Bracken was part of this, and was the series that really got me into reading), but this was the main one that stuck with me. 

It contains a powerful message about capitalism and discrimination, and this is the second time I’ve listened to the audiobooks, though the god-only-knows-what time I’ve read the series. I listened to The Hunger Games and Catching Fire in February, which automatically puts this on my to-listen for March.

2. Ghosts of the Shadow Market by Cassandra Clare, Sarah Rees Brennan, Maureen Johnson, Kelly Link and Robin Wasserman

This is a novella bind-up set in the Shadowhunters world, that I would imagine has quite a bit to do with the Shadow Market, an aspect of the Downworld introduced in The Dark Artifices, which I finished in January.

In truth, I’m mainly planning to listen to this audiobook because it’s the only Shadowhunters novella bind-up with an audiobook, and I’d just rather read additions to the main Shadowhunters series in this format rather than physically.

3. The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes by Suzanne Collins

This is a Hunger Games prequel that was released early last year, and I just wasn’t going to read it. I heard several reviews, the general consensus of which was basically that it’s not as good as the trilogy and is somewhat unnecessary, but, in truth, my curiosity’s got the better of me, especially since I started listening to the trilogy’s audiobooks again.

This prequel follows Coriolanus Snow as a mentor in the Games before he became President of Panem and the wonderful villain of the original trilogy.

4. Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia

I mentioned this in my physical TBR post a couple weeks ago, but have decided to listen to the audiobook instead. A few weeks ago, I’d started to run out of audiobooks I wanted to listen to, and didn’t want to read anything on my regular TBR in this format, including this book. But, I went through a load of audiobook recommendations, and this was one of them, so it joined my to-listen.

I’m not hugely into contemporary books, but I’ve wanted to get more into the genre for a while, and this was the first one to join my TBR.

This novel follows Eliza Mirk, your typical high school outcast, who publishes a hugely popular web comic under the pseudonym LadyConstellation. Then Wallace Warland, the biggest fanfic writer of her comic transfers to her school and begins to draw her out of her shell.

TV Shows

Before I go into my list, I’d like to mention that I am currently watching WandaVision and am definitely planning to watch Falcon and the Winter Soldier on Disney+, but both come out on a weekly basis, so aren’t being included on this list. Also, I’ve been watching way too much YouTube recently, so I’m not sure I’ll get through all of these this month, especially since I’m watching the Arrowverse shows, which have such long seasons.

1. Love, Victor Season 1

This Love, Simon spin-off follows a character named Victor at Creekwood (I think that’s the name?) High School. I saw Love, Simon twice in cinemas when it was released, and, miraculously, it made me cry. I love that movie.

This series was released last year on Hulu, which is only available in the US, but as of February 23rd, it’s one of the shows that came to Disney+ as part of Star.

2. The Flash Season 1

As mentioned, I’ve started watching the DC Arrowverse shows. I watch tv shows through alternating seasons - as in, I watch season 1 of show A, then season 1 of show B, then 2 of A, etc., then when I finish one, I start watching show C - but I’m treating the Arrowverse as one show (even though it isn’t) so it’s not the only thing I’m watching. So this is technically Arrowverse S3, preceded by Arrow S1+2 (though I haven’t actually started S2 as of writing this because of how much YouTube I’ve been watching, so I’ll be finishing that first).

I genuinely don’t know that much about most DC superheroes, Flash included, but I’m going into this having been assured it takes itself less goddamn seriously than Arrow. It’s my sister’s favourite Arrowverse show, and I can’t wait.

3. Dare Me Season 1

I added this Netflix show to my watchlist when it came out, and my basic understanding is that it focuses on the cheerleaders at a high school, and begins when a new coach arrives. It focuses on the psychological damage behind competitive cheerleading, and I’m not convinced I’m going to love it, but I think it’s worth a shot.

4. Arrow Season 3

I’m so confused by this poster. This is specifically the season 3 poster, and I’m so confused, but I’m sure it’ll make more sense when I watch the season.

I explained the weird way I’m watching Arrowverse (named as such because Arrow was the first show in it) already, but Arrow follows Oliver Queen, the son of one of the billionaires of Starling City upon his return after being stuck for five years on an island when a cruise ship carrying him and his father sunk. His father left him with a list of names of the people ‘corrupting’ the city, and Oliver takes it upon himself to assume a vigilante identity and take them down.

Movies

I’m not a huge movie-watcher, but I end up compiling so many to watch that, to ensure I get round to them, I watch a movie every time I finish a tv show season. I’m also currently re-watching the MCU movies in chronological order.

1. Instant Family

This is just something that came onto Netflix recently and I thought might be entertaining, and so it joined my list.

This follows a couple who decide to adopt a teenager, only to find out she has two more siblings.

2. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 

This is just a continuation of my MCU re-watch - I love this movie. I love Guardians of the Galaxy, full stop (on another note, I just generally don’t understand why British people call it a full stop and Americans call it a period. Neither name makes particular sense). 

3. Avengers: Age of Ultron

And here we have another continuation of my MCU rewatch. I honestly think this is my favourite Avengers movie, because the whole teams actually together, and Wanda, Scarlet Witch, is introduced - I love her. I really didn’t like Vision until WandaVision came out, though.

4. Behind The Try: A Try Guys Documentary

Not technically a movie, but still. (Are documentaries movies? I tend to think of them as separate categories, but I guess they’re both movies. Hm.) I’ve been watching the Try Guys for years, which means I need to convince my sister to give me her Google password so I don’t have to pay for this.

I’m probably not going to stick to this list, and even if I do, I’m either going to also consume things not on it, or just not finish it. But, you’ll have to wait for my March wrap-up to find out.