#this is getting so frustrating there is literally no other time i can attend tutoring for this class except sunday by which point he never

[pallases]

engineering tutoring session room is once again abandoned 😐🔪

[purplecoffee13]

Mr. Sunshine - part 2

Part 1 & Series Masterlist & General Masterlist

Summary: “You start tutoring Harry, the two of you grow closer, and you get more and more confused with the way you feel about him.”

Wc: 4K

Tropes: grumpy!MC x sunshine!H

Warnings: none. Just Harry being a cutie and bantering with Y/N

"Wait... which one do metanarratives belong to again?"

"Lyotard!"

"Oi, chill out, sunshine! You're giving me too much information at the same time. Everything and everyone is beginning to look the same to me." Harry sighs, leaning back in his seat.

You and him had been going over different literary theories for the past few weeks. You felt it was necessary for him to be able to explain each theory at the top of his head, both for his upcoming re-sit as for his own benefit. It'd make it easier to identify said theories in the reading material you got from the course.

Your jaw clenched at his nickname for you. He had been using it ever since the first session. You knew he did it to annoy you, and it was most definitely sarcastic. If anything, you should call him sunshine. He is quite literally Mr. Sunshine. Always smiling, always happy and never put down by the weight of the world.

Asshole.

"The Postmodern Condition quite literally revolves around metanarratives. Or well, its skepticism towards it." You explain to him what feels like the thousandth time.

You aren't exactly annoyed with repetition; you knew what you were getting yourself into. You are simply frustrated with the fact that it seems like Harry doesn't want to remember what he's studying. You know he's smart, and you know he can memorize things quite quickly, but these literary theories seem to be kicking him in the butt.

You, however, have found that with enough nagging and fed up glares he puts in the work you know he's capable of. He likes your stern attitude, maybe it motivates him better, you think.

Harry has been loving your tutoring hours, and he never wants it to end. He loves postmodernism and post-structuralism, and knows more about the subjects than the professor of your course, but he made sure not to tell you. It would just be two more things for you to explain to him, and an opportunity for more tutoring sessions to attend.

He knows that you have been trying to be nice, and he sees that you've been enjoying helping him. Those soft sides of you, though they didn't come out often, were like seeing rays of sunshine through a cloud. But he loved your storm, and frankly, he was getting a bit freaked out at how non aggressive you were being towards him. So he found other ways to get on your nerves, and boy did it work.

"Right, right... I'm hungry, wanna eat something?" Harry changes the subject once again. He has been unwilling to study this whole session. It seems like this week he has lost all motivation and it is irritating you to no end. He almost has all the necessary theories down, but it appears as if he doesn't want to remember them.

"No! We aren't done yet. C'mon, you literally almost got it." You growl, the frustration dripping from your voice. Arms crossed, you stare at him and watch as he leans forward to you with a deviant smirk on his face.

"Get food with me and I promise I'll be a good student." He tries to bargain.

"I don't know why you're trying to bribe me with your obedience. These tutoring sessions are beneficial to you, not me." You cross your arms, leaning back into your seat. You are exhausted from all the studying too, but you know that if he just puts his mind to it, it won't take longer than ten minutes for Harry to have everything memorized. But of course, he needs to take the difficult route...

"How do you feel about burgers? I'm not really in the mood for pizza tonight." Harry ignores you and takes his phone out of his pocket.

"Harry!" You groan, throwing your head back in frustration.

"Fine, sunshine, if you really want pizza we'll go to Alessandro's." He sounds like a defeated child, and despite the migraines Harry caused you, a smile grew on your face.

"I hate you." You simply say, fighting the corners of your lip from tugging up.

"You love me. It's okay, you can admit it. I love you too, you know?" Harry just grins at you. Your jaw is clenched and you roll your eyes, and he celebrates before you even say the word, because he's learned everything about your body language when it comes to his. Rolling your eyes means he's won you over.

When Harry closes his books and starts packing up, you frown. "What do you think you're doing? We're going right back to studying after dinner."

"I know." He shrugs, continuing to put away his stuff.

"Then why are you putting your books in your bag?"

"Because we're going out to eat." Harry says, getting up and putting on his jacket. Not once does he meet your eye. His casual tone has you dumbfounded.

"I thought you were ordering pizza." You squint your eyes at him, trying to get him to stay. Why did he insist on all the hassle anyway?

"You don't want pizza." He replies in a calm tone as he begins packing up your books for you. You look up at him, your glance shooting down to the necklace that dangles below his face as he leans over you. His scent takes over your entire nose, and you feel yourself get a little distracted from it. Just for a second, though. You are quick to regain your senses.

"Don't tell me what I feel." You growl at him. Harry doesn't do anything but chuckle at your — to him — weak attempt at shoving him away. Not today, he thinks. Not ever.

"When we got pizza two weeks ago, you said you can only have it every few months, otherwise you'll get sick of it." Harry says, and you feel you ears go red. You had said that. And he had remembered it.

What a weirdo.

After a few moments of silence, you decided to speak up. After all, he was being nice and all, so you figured you owed him a reply at the very least.

"Where is this stupid hamburger place anyway?"

************************************************

"I can't believe you still haven't had enough." You say, eyes wide as you watch Harry completely demolish what's left on your plate after you gave up on clearing it.

He ate so much, which wasn't particularly weird for a guy built like him. He needed the food, it was fuel to him and he had mentioned that he hadn't eaten a lot today. Still, you find yourself fascinated at just how much he manages to eat.

"Oi, stop shaming me."

"I'm not shaming, just observing." You shrug, letting your gaze fall into the rest of the diner where Harry drove the both of you tonight. It was a bit old fashioned, had some of that 50's retro feel to it. Reminded you of Grease. You loved that movie.

You find two of the waitresses giggling and staring at Harry while whispering things to each other. When they catch your gaze, their eyes widen for a second, before they both turn their back to you and get back to work. Weird.

"What are you glaring at?" Harry asks before taking a drink from his coke. You eyes shoot back to his. You hadn't realized you were glaring. No wonder the girls didn't dare hold your eyes.

"I'm not glaring, this is just my face." You give him a sarcastic smile, fiddling with the straw of your drink. Harry, sipping on that drink of his, still manages to conjure somewhat of a smile which he happily throws at you. You feel yourself envy him for it. That lightness he carries with him, the way he uncomplicates things with the light of his smile. It's unfair, and yet there is no way in which you could ever be mad at him for it.

"Can I ask you a question?" You say it before you can stop yourself. This so isn't you, why would you ask permission to ask him a question? What has gotten into you?

"Yes, they're real." Harry strokes a finger over his mouth and pulls it into a naughty smile.

"Harry..." you urge.

"You can ask me anything, sunshine." He assures you before taking the last piece of your hamburger in his mouth, and you ignore how your cheeks warm up at the way he says your name.

"How are you always so... happy?" You tilt your head a bit as you ask the question. You wait until Harry has swallowed his food and took another gulp of his drink before finally saying something.

"I regularly get laid."

Your eyes widen in horror. Of course you wouldn't get anything close to a serious answer from him. That's what irritated you about him. It wasn't the part where insinuating that he was sleeping with other people bothered you, it was the part where he took everything as a joke. Yeah, that was the part that annoyed you the most. Harry starts laughing at your shocked face.

"What? It's true." He chuckles. "It's way easier to have a positive outlook on life if you aren't sexually frustrated."

It stays quiet between the two of you. It is a moment in which you pretend you do not find his answer funny, and where he pretends he doesn't know you do actually find it funny.

"Can I ask you a question?" Harry asks, and you nod, hoping the subject will be changed now. That vulnerable moment of yours didn't unravel the way you hoped it would. Nothing ever unravels the way you think it will around Harry.

"How come I've never seen you at a party?"

You shrug. "Maybe you haven't looked hard enough."

"I have." Harry doesn't miss a beat with responding to you. "You're never there. You hate people that much?"

"I don't hate people." You suddenly feel defensive. You never quite mind having people think of you as a the boring silent girl or the buzz killer, but Harry just confronting you with it hits harder than it should. Maybe it's because he's saying it, or maybe it's because of your past experiences. Either way, it's bothering you.

"Then what is it?" He keeps pushing.

"None of your goddamn business." You snap at him; your standard method to keep people as far away as you can. But Harry shakes his head, making a disapproving noise.

"Nope. I answered your question, you answer mine. An eye for an eye, my friend." He argues casually. Silence befalls the two of you as you ponder on how to answer that. You half expected him to throw out some profanities and leave, like you think the average person would have done if they had been snapped at like that, so now you're at a loss for words.

"I don't like to drink."

"That's why you don't go to parties?"Harry frowns in a way where you know he doesn't fully believe you. You ignore it, and shrug you shoulders.

"I guess, yeah." You slowly nod, quite satisfied with your answer of choice. It's partly honest and believable, although Harry doesn't quite seem to.

"You don't have to stop yourself from going to a party just because you don't like to drink." Harry tilts his head.

"Yeah, thanks for the advice." You attempt to smile at him but it your mouth just twists very awkwardly and so you shoot your head down. You get up from the booth, and gather your stuff.

"I'm gonna go the bathroom, and then we're going to continue studying." You say, not even waiting for an answer before you walk away.

When you come back, Harry is already waiting by the door with his coat on. You frown and try to walk past him to the table, where you see some cash laying. But Harry grabs your arm and pulls you towards him before you can pass him. You look up at him with big eyes; you're caught off guard by his touch.

He opens the door for you and puts a hand the small of your back, leading you back to the car. He doesn't take it off of you, even though you're already outside.

"How much was it?"

"It's taken care of."

"How much was it?"

"Consider it a payment for your tutoring services." Harry says as he opens the car door for you.

"Harry!" You cross your arms, scowling at him. He chuckles at your angry demeanor. He chuckles! You couldn't believe him, he thought your anger was funny?! "You pay me in coffee. Just let me pay you back."

"It's really okay, Y/N. I was the one who wanted to go out to eat, I was happy to pay." He says, keeping his eyes on you as he takes a hold of your crossed arms and pushed you into the passenger seat. For some reason, you let him. And he knows you are letting him do this, and it makes the grin on his face grow even more. "Feet in."

You hesitantly follow his orders, but your crossed arms and scowl remain. Your eyes widen when Harry grabs your seatbelt and leans over you to buckle it. You want to be mad at the way he's handling you like a toddler, but then again you are acting like that out of some form of defiance to him paying for you. But it's mostly the smell of his perfume that washes any anger or resentment you might have towards him away. You stare breathlessly at the few curls that hangs before his face and you realize you haven't ever seen anyone this beautiful.

Harry doesn't look at you when he pulls away, or as he closes your door and walks to the drivers' seat. He doesn't even glance at you when he's buckling his own seatbelt or starting the car. But you do. You stare at him like a freak. When the car starts you get thrown out of your trance, and you realize... fuck. You need to get laid.

************************************************

You:

Hey

Harry:

Hey sunshine

You:

you reply fast

Harry:

only if it's important ;)

You:

🙄… I wanted to say thanks for the dinner again. I hope it wasn't too expensive.

Harry:

it was my pleasure sunshine. And it wasn't :)

You:

are you sure? I mean the prices of these food joints keep getting higher and higher

Harry:

I'm not going to let you pay your part.

You:

come on! why not? I don't want to feel like I owe you anything

Harry:

I owe you more than you owe me. You're the one tutoring me.

You:

still...

Harry:

dinner is on me. End of discussion.

besides, a gentleman always pays on the first date.

You stare at your screen, wide eyes. How does he always know how to shut you up?

Harry:

that's what I thought. Goodnight sunshine xx

************************************************

"I think you got it." You sigh, leaned back in your seat as you look at Harry, who is sitting across from you. His eyebrows knit together, and he shakes his head.

"I don't know..."

"Harry, you're going to ace this re-sit. I promise, you know more about literary theories than I did when I made the test, and I got an A." You assure him.

Ever since your shared dinner, Harry insisted on meeting up three times a week instead of two. Sometimes he would even plead for four, and since you had quite literally no friends and thus no social life, you agreed. It was kind of pathetic, but you had begun to realize that you might have just become a loner out of habit, not because you necessarily love being on your own more than being around people.

It had dwelled on you, that thought. The idea that you maybe had been a people person after all, but that no one wanted to hang out with you, which made you grumpy and hurt and caused you to push people away. But you knew that it wasn't a thought, it was a realization. You had pushed the happiness of other people's company away because what happened in the past had scared you too much.

Harry looks at you, unsure. You don't like seeing him this insecure, even though you know it's just his nerves for the re-sit on Friday. Over the weeks you have gained this need to see him happy, which has confused you to the very max. But you can't help it, it doesn't look right when he's anything but cheery.

"How about you go over your notes, find your weak points, and memorize the fuck out of those. And then I'll go over everything with your on Friday morning." You offer, and he nods, grabbing the papers and starting to wade through them. His face is bundled up into a serious, concentrated frown. His concentration face is the closest you think you're ever going to be to seeing his angry face.

You sit in silence for the next five minutes as you wait for him to highlight all the points he wants some more clarification on. You drink the last of your caramel macchiato and get up to throw it away. Harry's eyes shoot up towards you, and he sits up a little straighter. You have noticed over the past two months that Harry is very observant of your every move.

A couple more minutes go by in which he silently studies the papers in his hands and you're cleaning up the mess you both have made on the desk. The amount of books and notes and scribbles have gone into these months of tutoring is insane. Besides your uni work, this is the most effort you've ever put into something, or better said someone. But it was worth it. You're staring at him and you think yes, yes it was worth it.

If there's anything that you have learned from your limited time with him, it's that he might just be the only one whose annoying features don't annoy you.

You thought that maybe your introverted character was just you shutting out anyone who would dare to come to close, and maybe it was, partly at least, but you had realized that there was a reason you didn't talk to a lot of people. They were insufferable!

You had tried, after your dinner with Harry, to be more social in class. Maybe even 'get laid' as Harry had so eloquently described. At the end of the day, he was kind of right. And you thought that maybe you just had some kind of stick up your ass that needed to be removed.

But you soon realized that it wasn't all you. People were annoying. So, in the end you only got a bit closer to your roommate. She was cool, and like Harry, her presence didn't make you want to rip your hair out.

You know, though, that with Harry it's different. It's extra comforting and extra calming, but you aren't quite ready to admit that to yourself. It's best to ignore it, especially because after these tutoring sessions, the contact between you and him would have to come from his own free will. And you didn't think you were fun enough for him to stay friend with voluntarily.

"Okay." Harry sighs, leaning back as he threw the paper on the table. He's so tired; his eyes are a bit red. He really needs to sleep.

"Don't look so freaked out, you're fine." You spew out the most encouraging thing your brain can come up with. Inspirational speeches have never really been your forte, so to say.

Harry doesn't say anything, just nods and packs his bag. You feel a pit in your stomach. He looks kind of sad. Did you just cause that?

In a state of panic, you fiddle with your opened bag, and an un-eaten Twix bar you bought earlier today catches your eye. You never ate it because you forgot, and now you're not hungry anymore. You take it out of your bag and put it on his side of the table.

Harry, who was organizing his own stuff, frowns at the candy bar laid in front of him, and his eyes slowly trail up to you. You just stare at him, almost a scared look on his face, as you keep your mouth shut and pray he will understand the message.

"Did you just give me a candy bar?" He questions the obvious. You nod, which seems to make him more confused. "Why?"

You shrug your shoulders, and start packing up more of your stuff. Your jaw clenches and upon feeling your cheeks heat up, you reach out to snatch the candy bar away from him. "You know what, never mind—"

But Harry grabs your wrist before you can take a hold of the candy bar, and he takes the Twix with his other hand, putting it in his bag. He gives you a playful smirk as he leans forward, your hand brushing against his shirt.

"Thank you, sunshine."

He knew what the Twix bar meant, he knew you were trying to console him in your own odd way. He just wanted to put you on the spot. You scowl at him, but don't say anything.

"So, I had a question." Harry says after letting go of your wrist and continuing to fill up his bag with his studying materials. You hum a in a bored tone, a bit frustrated with him at the way he just teased you.

"My friends are throwing a party on Saturday, and I thought you might like to come with me."

Your mouth is still tightly shut, but the glare you send his way is enough of an answer. No.

"What do you say, hmm? I promise it'll be fun." He wiggles his eyebrows. Your glare shoots from his eyebrows back to his eyes. You don't know if that was supposed to make the offer enticing, because if anything it made you want to go even less.

"No."

"Ah, c'mon! Why not?"

"I don't drink." You throw the argument from last time back on the table.

"We'll stay sober together. We'll just drink soda or whatever."

"No."

"Why not?"

"I told you, I don't drink." You say, and get up from your seat, walking away.

"And I told you, we can stay sober. You don't need alcohol to have fun." Harry shrugs, stumbling out of his seat to catch up with you.

"I know that." You grumble.

"Then what's the problem? Why don't you want to go?"

You're waiting until you snap at him. Tell that he needs to mind his own business and quit pushing you because he's not your friend or even anything close to that. That just because you sit and help him in exchange for coffee means that he is entitled to know anything about you.

But you can't. Because it isn't true. So even though there's a part inside of you that tells you to scream at him, you take a deep breath instead. You turn to him, and look into his green eyes. You don't stare at them often enough.

"Because I don't want to drink."

"But I just said—"

"At all."

Harry tilts his head at your confession. You hold your breath until he finally speak up again.

"At all?"

"At all."

You look at him expectantly, but an answer never comes from Harry. Instead, he simply nods and resumes to walking. Slightly dazed, it takes a few seconds for your feet to get with the program and start moving too.

The rest of the way to your place, he says absolutely nothing...

[hangesangel]

I cannot stop thinking about Yelena that knows you have a massive crush on her, and she is lowkey teasing you by staring at you for too long or brushing her hand over your own, maybe even flirting with you to get you all shy and quiet 💕 pleassse a fluffy one shot with this Yelena 😭💓✨

OMGGG hiii Azelma <33 IM SO SORRY this was late,,, ran into some health issues but! one Yelena one shot coming RIGHT UP ☝🏼

- OKAY SO, this is absolutely the cutest thing and honestly i wanted to write a couple of things/head canons before— and pls when i was reading your description and imagining it, deadass got me like: 

- bc i would love to ASSUME, that i can see right past Yelena’s games, but nahhhh Yelena’s too clever to let you get a read on her.

- she stops, retreats, and starts acting different. To the point of making you think you’re a fool for taking it too far. or thinking it had a deeper meaning. making you blush and avoid eye contact.

- she knows you are into her(she’s into you as well, if not more), and has to make you fall into her grasp.

- But it isn’t too far, it’s exactly where she wants ya. Bc you could be looking away, or at a textbook(a school/college setting for this would be perfect for Yelena, especially for your Yandere!Yelena, Azelma ;)

- And when you’re too busy looking over the chapter in the textbook, she’d just probably lightly place her hand over your own thats holding the side of the page, to get your attention, but her words are all related to whatever convo you’re having.

- literally making you go insane on the inside. HEHEE anyways so heres the senario!!!! (sorry this is a lot!)

Cheeky

(i didn’t know what to title this, don’t judge me pls )

Genre: fluff

yelena x reader

Summary: even though the end of the semester is still weeks and weeks away, you were struggling so much with current piled up assignments. It was so much you decided to schedule and meet up with a tutor. Attending one of the largest universities in your city, your tutor could’ve been anyone. So then, little did you expect your classmate to walk in-

- Groaning, and getting more frustrated by the minute, as you were trying to understand the formulas to solve the algebra problems, for your current lesson.

At some point your back was starting to kill you and ache more, from being hunched over, this past half hour. You really were starting to regret the college life, not because of how fun college can sometimes be, or how many benefits you have as a student. But because of the never ending unexpected piled up work that you end up with, the moment you look away for three seconds. Though at least this semester you were able to get out of your comfort zone, slightly and make some friends, which made you look more forward to going to your classes. 

Although teacher wise, you had luck on your side this time, since they’re pretty flexible and understanding. It was the course work that, overtime made your brain utterly stop functioning while doing it. At some point it became a rather, rapid habit for you to use excuses for going to cafes, or libraries, in order to “study”. In reality you’d have the assignment open but it ever barley gets any progress. And that was the routine, for two months later.

Not even your friends could’ve been able to help you now, and you didn’t wanna pressure them more, so you applied for a meeting with a tutor. This time you made sure to understand and put more effort, in make up for the other times you’ve neglected your assignments. Had already gone into the schools system to check what time worked for you and which tutor was available, and then after setting it up to be in person, you now wait. However, there was one other thing lately that had made you look even MORE forward to one of your classes, was a crush you had grew later for your classmate and seat mate, yelena. 

Yelena had always caught your attention. But at the time, it wasn’t enough for you to feel things and to turn you into a heat packet whenever you’d see or talk to her.

Her calm and quiet demeanor, put you under such a spell, it felt like you had to reflect her behavior. Or hide away every time she’d look straight at you, and stare your outfit, down and back up. You absolutely pool into a heated mess and all  her silent flirting made you wanna close off, and hide. Though, you never did, you weren’t so gushing over her that you were blind to her games. You knew exactly what she was doing, and most times you did fall for those games, but you’d do it all over again if it meant spending more time and getting her attention.

Now, here you sit and finally feel the slight uncomfortableness creep in slowly, from smiling for too long. You sit up in your seat, and fix yourself to for more comfort. As looking up in realization, that your tutor still hasn’t arrived and the cafe room you rented for the day is almost up if they don’t come any sooner.

“damn... where are they”, slightly whispering, when you’ve picked up your phone to check the time and open it up. Might as well allow it to entertain you, as you dread these passing minutes. Some part of you thinks you should just collect yourself, give up and just ‘treat yourself’ again. The thought of a delicious meal, with a donut after it was slowly possessing you to act upon the idea. But the other half of you wants to stay, and get some help so you can pass and move on.

But you didn’t need to dread for any longer. Not when, you barely see a figure from the windows, pass next to and pause at the door handle. When the door handle creates it’s own alarm for you to feel relief that the tutor had shown up. Closing the door behind them and settling in, at the same time you, bend to the side at your bag  to get some notes and your assignment. 

“Sorry, i’m late, had a talk with the professor after class.”

You forgive them, and bite down your frustration at them for being a bit late. however, then it all completely flushes away and your frustration turns your blood cold upon, your brain clicking together at who just possibly walked in by the sound of their voice.

“Yelena....!” your voice utterly exposing a bit fear, as you’ve turned to make sure your ears weren’t playing tricks on you. Her light chuckle, at your reaction, reminded you to collect yourself. Yelena seated herself, “Yea! it’s me, Y/N.” looking away to the other side, with a grin and quickly, she pulled out her own laptop on the table in front.

“why? did ya miss me?..” 

automatically turning your head away to the side, with a pfft, to scratch the side of your head. Yelena knew how to pull your strings, how to play with your physical and emotional state just by a single glance. But of course, you aren’t oblivious, you can read exactly what those looks were saying with those eyes.

That’s why you try your hardest to somehow not fall for her games, or at least take control,

“please.. how would i miss you..” mumbling the last part. 

“hmm? you said something?” Not even bothering to look up at you, making you think you were able to get away with that. It was hard for you however, to do that, not when you’ve started to crush hard on her.

Stressfully you take your bottled drink and gulping some of it down, “No, i was just not expecting you to be my tutor, is all.”, not noticing Yelena’s pause in her searchings on her notes, just to slowly look up at you with a smirk but slight jealousy brewing inside. 

“Of course,” Her statement halting to pull her chair closer to you, “i’m your tutor for today, and i’m guessing you must be failing if you need my help.” And here the cycle started, however you were to taken back by her comment, to register how close you both are at the corner of the table, and her forearm touching your own.

“huh?! i’m NOT failing...”, the heat in your face from the physical contact fillling in, “i just couldn’t understand this section, and needed a tutor”, confessing as you turn your head away all shy and offended.

Looking then down and grabbing your pencil to point and to start discussing with Yelena, what you needed help with. You needed to distract yourself and you won’t know how long you’ll last, with your personal bubble constantly being poked at. Quick witted, she takes notice of this and plays along, but doesn’t stop.

Not when everytime she had you peek over at her own notes, she wouldn’t just be nice and give them to you to let you read it over. But rather, make you slightly bend over the table, with your knees still bent, as she stares you and all over your body. Taking a deep breath and then half assed giving you “mmm”, or “yeah, that’s correct”, whenever you ask about something, as if mentally still tutoring you and not at all in her own world sometimes.

After an hour passing, of what should’ve been mainly studying. Turned out to be some studying, teasing, lots of laughing, and you ending up with a cramp in your cheeks. This session, with being able to have time to spend with Yelena is not something you were trade. Feeling far more drawn to her, and got to understand her better. From both ends what started as small verbal battles, the tension turned into a more comfy, relaxed and almost loving atmosphere. 

You’ve both taken breaks now, hand in phone, scrolling thru it as you both laugh at what you find and send it to each other,

(did i mention you exchanged numbers.......)

Finally, the tall blonde taking a deep breath, and sitting up with a suggestion in mind. Almost allowing temptation to take over her, and almost grabbing your hand in hers, she hesitates, enclosing her fingers back to her palm and pull it back. You look over with your eyes still glued to your screen, “Yelena, whats up?”, “you okay?”, sitting up as well and matching her position, as you try to scan whats on her mind, and curiously tilting your head to the right.

She looks at the walls digital timer, and then down at her watch on her left writs, “our time for this room is almost over..” the tone in her sentence, displaying disappointment, as her last words fade quietly. “yeah.. it is.” agreeing before upon continuing,

“Thank you for your help today... though i know we didn’t do much of our assignments or study, but i think i’ve got the hang of it now!” as you looked over the papers in front of you as if to remind you to what had happened as you confessed your words, and ending it with a genuine smile.

Yelena already slightly smiling, but then returning back your big smile, when she looks up to lock her eyes with yours. Suddenly, that flustered feeling creeped in quickly, and you look down out of shyness. Breathing in, “Y/n..”, eyes widening at the gesture of her calling for your name. It does something to you, makes you feel more than just special, especially special to her.

“yea..?” you still avoid contact but respond. She lowers her head hoping it would get you to meet her eyes but for probably, the first time, she failed.

“well... i was just thinking if you’d like to hang out somewhere...after this” Yelena, might’ve failed the first silent gesture, but certainly her verbal proposal halted your actions and you looked up at her in slight awe, but more shocked. “are you serious?”, trying to mask your excited shock as much as possible before continuing, “i mean... where would we go?”, other than the request shocking you, you’re surprised by Yelena’s calmness, she hasn’t teased you in minutes. 

Some part of you hopes Yelena will ask for a small date, or at least hinting at that. Yelena looks around a little and thinks

Before allowing her to respond, you speaking getting her attention, and suggest, “maybe we can go to that cute cafe at the corner, and get something to eat? i am hungry, how about yourself?” asking and curiously waiting for her answer.

Her ears perking at the idea, “A cute cafe at the streets corner...? you mean that couples’ cafe?” Yelena selectively dragging her words, as you nod and respond “yes! that one!”

Although Yelena’s behavior took you back once again, because sure it was a “couples’ cafe”, because to your local UNI, it’s common people go on dates there and even couples hang round there oftenly

But, for you, it was your favorite cafe because it was also a “nature” cafe. The delicious scent of coffee and food, along with the aromatherapy the workers apply there, and the best part was they had two cats that roamed the cafe. It had became your comfort place over time.

  Pursing her lips inwardly together, the muscles creating a small, tiny smile, Yelena looks to the side and regains herself. To look back and say “aahh.. Y/n so you did you wanna go on a date with me?” She laughs a little cooing at you, and continues, “....our sweet, innocent Y/n, why didn’t you just ask me out?”, “instead of just teasing me and beating around the bush?”

  At this point you were beyond baffled, and frozen at her comment, and teasing remarks. If anything she was playing around with you. You would’ve kept your likeness towards her as closed off as possible. Not ever thinking they’d have an interest in you.

The past small, but lingering time you spent with her, maybe even start to consider getting close. At the same time keeping a distance so she wouldn’t notice. Oh, but as the universe saw this and pushed Yelena to your game. As you’ve started to calm down from the shock and back to reality. You see Yelena almost rushly collecting her stuff and to get up out of her seat afterwards.

“so? what do you say?” the question turning your attention to her, still stunned. “oh!, oh yeah,” agreeing and suddenly your body is functioning again, and even without your own control. Gathering your stuff along with her. wanting to say something, to add on unneeded context, “i don’t have much plans for today, at all so, i’m down..” , finally cleaning everything up. Picking up your backpack to swing it to your back, as you’ve continued talking, “It’s a really pretty cafe! i think you’ll love it there!” walking around the table to meet where Yelena had waited for you at the door. Finishing off with giving up, a smile at her, and she too returns the expression with adoreness in her eyes as she looks down.

Yelena, had never shown it but deep down loved hearing you talk, especially when you forgot yourself  and just kept rambling. Absolutely her favorite thing.

“mmhm,”, “c’mon, i’ll drive us there too.” she offers, right before opening the door. 

You won’t understand how fast you got to this point, but you’re not complaining. In fact, your even thanking the universe, you feel like a hyper, excited child on the inside. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

also smth else i wanna add, i saw that audio from tiktok that goes

    “you left your diary at my house.”

“and i read those pages- you really love me... baby”

this really was Yelena x Reader, in this.

[bbangsoonie]

goal: your heart

member: sunwoo genre: fluff word count: 5,423 synopsis: due to a budget cut, you have to follow the soccer team around for both the school newspaper and yearbook despite knowing nothing about sports. before you know it, you find yourself warming up to the team’s star player, who you swore was the most annoying and arrogant person ever.

a/n: this is a part of the star player collab with @atbzkingdom​ for sunwoo’s birthday! (also, this will be written with the american academic calander in mind)

You knew exactly what you were doing. You were the top student of both your class and school and the leader of many clubs. Your college application was full of achievements and your essay exquisitely written. The only problem? You had no idea what to do after graduation. You didn’t know where you wanted to go or what you wanted to study.

Growing up, everyone told you that you’d eventually find something you love. By senior year, you thought you would at least have an idea by now.

But nope, you were even more lost if anything. Dream job? That was just a capitalistic lie meant to make people happy to slave away for money.

Grumbling, you listened as your friends rambled on about the campuses they visited. It was only the first day back and everyone was already obsessing over one thing and one thing only.

“Y/n, you’re so lucky,” Juyeon pouted. “You don’t have to worry about getting into a university. Your stats are literally perfect.”

“I have other things to stress over,” you groaned. “At least you know what you wanna pursue.”

“Y/n has other things to worry about. She’s about to graduate without ever finding love,” Younghoon teased.

“It’s all our fault,” Jaehyun squinted as he pinched his nose bridge. “We raised her standards too high. I’m sorry, Y/n, that I can’t take responsibility.”

The notebook in your hand threatened to fly over to his seat. Luckily for him, he was saved by Juyeon’s very unnatural attempt at changing the subject. He inquired about the school newspaper that was barely spared in a major budget cut last year.

Thinking about it made you sigh. You had poured in so much effort over the years for the paper and it was almost taken from you. The school was cutting funds for a lot of clubs and diverting the money to the many sports teams that brought home trophies.

A part of the negotiations to save the newspaper club was to feature more sports events and student athletes in order to garner support for the teams. You weren’t pleased with the decision. Your plate was already full without trying to inflate the ego of players who had a god superiority complex. Jaehyun was a great example of the type of jock you didn’t want to raise on a high pedestal.

You had also promised Kevin, the president of the yearbook committee, to help out with photographing games since you had to attend them anyway. Despite the many tasks assigned to you, you were relieved that you could spend your last year continuing to write articles.

“Does that mean you’ll get to come to practice with us? The basketball team is always on my ass about introducing them to you. Now I can finally stop being pestered to be the middleman,” Jaehyun grinned.

“No shot,” Younghoon shook his head. “My swim team has already tried but Y/n puts up a cold front.”

“Hey, I’m a delicately guarded rose with sharp thorns,” you joked, making Jaehyun pretend to gag. This time, the notebook hit his arm.

“No one is good enough for our Y/n,” Juyeon defended. You turned around to coo at him and said something about him being the only nice one as Younghoon guffawed.

The first day of soccer practice meant you had to stay behind after dismissal to meet the team. The coach introduced you to the players and beamed when he got to the last one.

“This is our ace, Sunwoo. Although I’m sure you know that already,” he said proudly.

To be honest, you had no idea who he was. The school was too big to know everyone and you had absolutely no interest in sports. You rarely even went to Juyeon and Jaehyun’s basketball games and Younghoon’s swim meets.

Not wanting to offend anyone, you simply smiled. Sunwoo, catching your hesitance, raised a brow. However, he kept quiet until he approached you during one of his breaks.

“Do you really not know me?” he asked as he took a seat next to you on the bleachers.

Surprised by his sudden question, you blankly stared at the boy in front of you. Sweat was dripping from his hair but he paid it no attention as he chugged an entire water bottle.

“How cocky are you?” you scoffed.

“You really don’t know our soccer team’s star player, Kim Sunwoo?” he gaped.

“Sorry to disappoint but I really don’t care or know much about soccer. Or any other sports for that matter,” you shrugged.

“You’re going to write about the soccer team… when you don’t even know who we are or what we’re doing?” he asked incredulously.

“That’s why I’m here to observe,” you snapped back.

Finding you amusing, he finally wiped away his sweat as the coach blew his whistle to gather the players again.

Sunwoo always gave it his best but for some reason he found himself practicing extra hard that day. Knowing your eyes were on him motivated him to show off his skills by annoying his teammates and stealing the spotlight. After his third goal in a row, he looked at you to see your reaction but was baffled to see you busy writing something down.

Frustrated and peeved, he kicked at the grass with a huff.

When practice came to an end, he snuck up behind you to see what you were so intently focused on. Reading the notes on your notebook, he hummed.

“So that’s what you were doing instead of watching me,” he mused.

You were listing physical traits and personality attributes of each player. He scanned the paper for his name and frowned when he saw what you wrote about him.

“Arrogant and conceited? That’s all you have to say about me?” he whined.

“What? It’s true,” you deadpanned.

“Haknyeon gets “tall, bubbly, and extroverted” but I get “arrogant and conceited”? That’s not fair. This is biased journalism!” he exclaimed.

Realizing that practice was over, you gathered your belongings and stood up to leave. With his cheeks puffed, he watched as you left the field. You were unlike any person he had ever encountered.

“Sunwoo? Kim Sunwoo?” Younghoon repeated with his eyes wide. “The soccer caption Kim Sunwoo?”

Jaehyun and Juyeon’s chopsticks froze midair in shock. Finding their reactions odd, you nodded as you took another bite of your lunch.

“I can’t believe the lady killer got rejected by the man hater,” Jaehyun broke out into a fit of laughter.

“Now that’s a title I’d like to see on the school newspaper,” Younghoon snickered.

“Okay, first of all, I did not reject him because he did not come on to me,” you rolled your eyes. “Secondly, who the hell is he anyway? Why do you all know him?”

“He’s notorious for his fuckboy image. Although I think that’s an exaggerated reputation,” Juyeon said you picked out all the vegetables from your plate. He willingly moved them to his own and you smiled gratefully in response.

“So my first impression of him was correct,” you said.

“He’s not that bad. He’s actually pretty cool. Rumors don’t do the sweet guy justice,” Juyeon explained.

“Our lovely Juyeon sees the good in everyone,” Younghoon gushed as he pet his friend, earning him a smack on the back of his head.

“We were partners for a history project,” Juyeon clarified. “I got to know him a bit and he’s a good guy. Just enjoys attention a little too much. Like Jaehyun.”

Weirdly offended, Jaehyun scowled. You shrugged it off, returning your attention back to your food. You had no intentions of getting to know Sunwoo anyway. At least, that was the plan until he bombarded you in the hallway while you were walking to class.

He blocked your path with that irritating smirk on his face. Exasperated, you asked him what he wanted.

“So I’ve been thinking about what you said yesterday,” he started.

“Oh, so you do think?”

“Hey!”

“Do you think you can move and get out of my way?”

“Anyway, as the president of the newspaper club who’s in charge of covering the soccer team, I think you lack way too much information about the sport. And our school’s players.”

“How do you know I’m the president?”

“I asked around.”

You look at his eyes, trying to peer through any ulterior motives. He was being suspiciously generous. But he wasn’t entirely wrong. Even you thought it was ridiculous that a person who didn’t know a thing about soccer had to write articles about it.

You were also aware that any interviews with the athletes would be surface level stuff that all the students probably already knew. You were the only one out of the loop.

You pursed your lips, annoyed that he was right. Realizing that you were in agreeance, Sunwoo grinned.

“I am offering you the very special privilege to follow me around and learn everything there is to know about the team. For the paper of course,” he quickly added the last part after seeing the look on your face. “I can teach you about both soccer and my teammates.”

After pondering his proposal, you finally nodded.

“Deal,” you eyed his happy expression. “What do you want in return?”

He was taken aback by your question. He hadn’t expected you to assume that he would demand compensation. Your presence and attention were what he was after in the first place. However, he couldn’t let the opportunity pass by.

“Bubble tea,” he declared after some thought. “You can treat me to bubble tea after practice and I can tutor you then.”

“Fine,” you sighed before pushing him aside to make it to class before the bell rang. He was left behind with a stupid smile on his face.

The first tutoring session was extremely awkward for you. You weren’t used to hanging out with guys other than Juyeon, Younghoon, and Jaehyun. They were the only members of the male species you didn’t despise. This riled up Sunwoo’s competitive side. He was determined to get close to you.

He couldn’t stand having someone not like him. He was used to being on friendly terms with everyone—including teachers and even wallflowers. He had a strong desire to receive acknowledgement from everyone.

Perhaps that was why so many girls fell for him.

Nevertheless, the wall around you remained thick and high. Just as he was well known for his playboy persona, you were infamous for never letting guys in. You cold heartedly turned down any and every guy who asked you out. And there had been a lot.

Sunwoo, on the other hand, was excited to spend time with you. Bubble tea was just an excuse to meet you outside of school grounds.

His phone dinged, notifying him of a text. Haknyeon had sent him a screenshot of a post made on the school’s gossip page and wrote “this you?”. He snorted at the content speculating his relationship status after supposedly receiving another confession and rolled his eyes. Curious, you asked him what he was looking at.

“Ah, it’s nothing,” he shook his head as he put the device away. “Just the stupid tea account.”

“Oh you mean that anonymously run social media page that popped up over summer break?” you frowned.

You hated everything about it. It spread rumors, without fact-checking, and started drama. It resulted in both a breakup and the end of a friendship in the span of two months. It was exactly what you and the school newspaper stood against.

Nothing could be done to stop the false information and invasion of privacy because it wasn’t officially affiliated with the school and the students continued to feed into it. People even sent in stories to be posted.

“So tell me what you do know about soccer,” he leaned in and propped his chin on the palms of his hands.

“I know the very basics from catching glimpses of the World Cup,” you leaned back on your chair, making him pout.

“Well, to be honest, explaining the rules is a lot easier to do when directly pointing things out during a game. There’s a match airing tonight. Do you want to come over and watch it with me?” he asked expectantly.

“We can watch the replay tomorrow during study hall,” you said.

“Then we can start by talking about me today,” he chirped. “My squad number is 19 because 9 is usually worn by centre forwards but I wanted to be special and added a 1 in front of it. I’m the centre forward, which is the main striker. That means playing offensive is my main objective. Which is why I’m the highest scorer on the team.”

You wanted to wipe the smug look off his face. It irked you how he so easily bragged about himself.

“I also really like movies and can play the guitar. A true all-rounder and romanticist,” he smiled.

He continued to reveal fun facts about himself for another half an hour. It was only at the end that you realized most of it was useless when writing for the paper. You groaned, realizing you had fallen for his trap.

Still, you learned some things about soccer and his position in the team. Following him to the cafe hadn’t been a complete waste of your time.

The next day, Sunwoo hunted you down to make sure you kept your promise about watching the game together. He dragged you to the computer room during study hall and pulled out the earbuds he prepared. He had purposely rummaged through his drawers the night before to the share wired ones with you.

You had to admit he was extremely helpful when explaining the rules and strategies of soccer. Despite being uncomfortable with the proximity of his body to yours, he was a great teacher. He made everything sound so simple. After you began to understand the game, you even found yourself enjoying the match.

After spending a week with him, you hated that you couldn’t say you still disliked him. After all, you two met almost every day for hours.

You had a gut feeling that you would come to regret it and were proven right. You had a bad feeling the moment you saw Jaehyun run up to you as if his life depended on it. Panting, he barely pulled himself together to show you the post that made him immediately report to you.

“KSW and Y/INITIALS seen cozily spending time together. Will he be the one to finally break through her?” you read aloud.

A photo of your backs from the computer room and a mosaicked side shot of you two at the cafe were attached to the title. The comments under the post were even more ridiculous.

“A challenge to be anticipated.”

“Poor girl will only end up as one of his many heartbroken playthings.”

“I know who KSW is. Who’s Y/INITIALS??”

“The legendary man hater? With a guy?? Wow how good must he be 👀”

“Damn so she rejected me for him?”

Your blood boiled and you shoved the phone away. Trying to calm yourself down, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath. And failed.

“What is this, fucking Dispatch?” you exploded. A few students passing by stared at your outburst and widened their eyes when they saw that it was you. You sighed, knowing that the whole school saw the post.

“I’m not a celebrity! Why are people so invested in fake rumors about me?” you yelled, trying to keep your voice to a whisper as you pulled Jaehyun into an empty classroom.

“I’m sure it’ll blow over,” he assured.

“If I ever find out who the admin of this page is, I will ruin them,” you glowered.

You almost didn’t go to the soccer practice that day. But you knew that avoiding him would only add fuel to the fire so you sucked it up and went to the field after school as usual. You heard the hushed murmurs that stirred among the team when you arrived and you wanted to turn back around and leave.

Before you could, however, Sunwoo appeared and shut everyone up with a warning glare. He announced that the coach would be late and to start by running laps.

You were more annoyed than upset about the post. It just stupefied you that people really had nothing better to do than gossip about you. You didn’t think you were that interesting.

You were so close to escaping after practice but Sunwoo caught you trying to sneak away. He stood in front of you, crossing his arms as if to ask where you were going. Giving up, you muttered a “fine” and waited for him to change out of his uniform.

This time, you two wordlessly agreed to go to a different cafe. With the bubble teas on the table in front of you, you sat in silence until Sunwoo finally spoke up.

“Don’t mind what the post or others say,” he huffed.

“I’m not too bothered by it,” you shrugged.

“Good. Because I want to get to know you as just Y/n and Sunwoo. Through whatever you wish to tell and show me. I feel like we’re always just talking about me.”

His words left you speechless. Juyeon hadn’t been kidding when he mentioned how thoughtful Sunwoo was. You felt your heart warm as you smiled.

“Well what do you want to know about me?” you asked.

“Anything. Everything.”

So you spilled about your interests, hobbies, and goals. It was strange. Although it hadn’t been long since you met him, you felt comfortable around him. He made you feel at ease and you didn’t think twice about opening up to him.

You told him about your struggles as a high achieving student. About the pressure you felt and how embarrassing it was to tell people that you didn’t have any dreams.

With your grades, all the teachers expected you to apply to medical school. On the other hand, your parents encouraged you to work towards a high paying and stable salary as a corporation employee. Your friends suggested that you go for something in journalism because of your passion and commitment to the school newspaper.

But the club was just something you did for fun. You didn’t know if you liked it enough to pursue it as a career.

Sunwoo listened attentively as you went on about your concerns. From the outside, you looked like you had your life together. You were the perfect student and the girl that many guys chased after. But as he spent more time with you, it became clear that you were very uncomfortable with boys.

“Can I ask how you got so close with the Bermuda line?” he asked.

“The Bermuda line? What’s that?”

“You’ve never heard of the term? Juyeon, Jaehyun, and Younghoon are called the Bermuda line because they’re the most popular athletes out of all the sports teams. The girls say that once you fall for them, you’re stuck in between them forever because you can’t get out.”

You hadn’t laughed that hard in so long. You knew they had fans but found it hilarious how the trio even had a nickname.

“Oh man, I can’t wait to make fun of them for this,” you laughed, nearly in tears.

When he told you that they actually took great pride in the title, you bursted out in laughter again. Their self love truly was on another level.

“So how’d you end up friends?” he asked again.

“Juyeon, I’ve known since middle school. We were in the same class for all three years. Jaehyun didn’t go to the same school as us but he was friends with Juyeon because they played basketball together. I met him and Younghoon at the end of freshman year. They kinda crash landed into my life but we really clicked so that’s why I still bless them with my friendship.”

Sunwoo giggled at your own overwhelming confidence. He loved that you never sold yourself short. He didn’t notice he had been staring at you until you pointed it out. Blushing, he insisted that it was nothing and took another sip of his bubble tea.

Two months passed by and you eventually came to call Sunwoo a friend. Younghoon teased you about him being more than a friend and at first, you thought he was crazy. But with him planting the idea in your head, you began to question your own feelings. Cursing Younghoon, you blamed him for confusing you.

As the designated photographer, you tagged along to the soccer team’s last match. The entire team was nervous as it would determine the winner of the tournament. Even Sunwoo was anxious.

Before the game started, you offered him a supportive smile and he felt all worries lifted off his shoulders. He erased all thoughts of winning and losing and just concentrated on the ball. He wanted to enjoy the last match of the season and look cool in front of you. That was all that mattered to him.

Fortunately, he got both plus the win. The crowd erupted into cheers as he scored the winning goal just seconds before the whistle was blown to signal the end of the game. His knees fell to the ground and his teammates rushed to surround him.

Seeing how happy he looked brought a smile to your lips. He jumped up and scanned the bleachers for your face. When he finally spotted you, he broke away from his team to run up to you and embrace you in a giant hug.

Caught off guard, you froze as his teammates hooted and applauded. You felt your cheeks heat up at the attention.

“Congratulations,” you chuckled, patting his back. “You did well.”

“Did you get a lot of pretty pictures of me?” he grinned, pulling away to look at you.

“No, I only took pictures of Haknyeon,” you joked. By now, he was used to your teasing and simply ruffled your hair in response.

“There’s gonna be an after party tonight,” he brought up carefully. “I’d really like it if you came. Only if you’re okay with that type of scene though.”

Surprised, you nodded before you fully thought it through.

That was how you ended up moping at Jaehyun’s house. The invitation was extended to the Bermuda line as well and they were all planning on dragging you there. Younghoon was excited at the thought of finally going to a party with the whole group and Juyeon was picking out an outfit for you from Jaehyun’s sister’s closet.

“I don’t know if I trust your fashion sense,” she made a face at the top he held up.

This was your first party and you weren’t sure how you felt about it. There was a reason you hadn’t gone to one throughout your high school years.

Nonetheless, you were dressed up in an outfit that definitely reflected Jaehyun’s sister’s style more than yours. She fawned over how pretty you were and urged you to go with the boys.

So you walked through the doors and into the house vibrating with music. Everyone who recognized you was shocked to see you there. Feeling awkward, you stuck by Jaehyun’s side as you maneuvered around the throng of people. When he finally caught sight of Sunwoo, he dipped and left you alone with him.

“Thanks for coming,” he shouted over the loud music.

“Thanks for inviting me,” you shouted back.

Sunwoo offered you a drink, which you declined. Following your choice, he opted for a soda instead as well. You weren’t much of a dancer so you enjoyed people watching instead. It was fascinating to see your classmates have so much fun.

You giggled when you saw Juyeon be so painfully oblivious to a girl’s advances and walked away to dance with Younghoon. Meanwhile, Jaehyun was having the time of his life flirting with girls. You blocked your eyesight when you saw him leaning in to kiss one of them.

“Ugh, gross,” you cringed. “I do not need to know this side of my best friend’s love life.”

Laughing, Sunwoo offered to take you outside for some fresh air and a change of scenery. You gladly agreed and let him guide you to the backyard.

The night sky was full of tranquility that contrasted the chaos that ensued indoors. You sat on the grass and Sunwoo joined next to you.

“You look beautiful today,” he commented.

“Only today?” you laughed.

“Especially today,” he answered in a serious manner. His sincerity made you clear your throat and look away. He stunned you by cupping your face with his hands.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked.

“Are you drunk?” you blinked.

“I haven’t had a single sip of alcohol.”

His voice was slow and raspy. Your heart was beating faster than you wanted it to and you knew the corners of your lips were betraying you.

“You can either lean in or pull away,” he said as he brought his lips closer to yours.

Your heart now felt like it was about to jump out of your chest. Red alarms were going off in your head and you didn’t know what to do. All you knew was what you were only a few centimeters away from kissing Sunwoo.

So you did what any insane person would do and closed the gap between your lips. You wanted to punch him when you felt him smirk but he pulled you closer and held onto you tightly.

The weekend passed without much changes in your relationship with Sunwoo. You were worried that you had either ruined your friendship or that he was sick of you but Juyeon reassured you that he probably wanted to talk about it in person. Anxiously, you overthought things until Monday finally arrived.

Wanting to keep yourself busy until you met Sunwoo, you stopped by the club room early in the morning to import the photos from the last game. Shortly after you connected the camera to the computer, you heard a knock on the door.

Startled, you looked at the door and saw Jacob sheepishly poking his head through the door. You told him to come in and he took a seat next to you.

“Kevin told me to drop by before class for an interview,” he said. You nearly facepalmed. You had completely forgotten about that. You were supposed to interview him for the paper.

“Oh yeah! Hold on, let me go get my notebook,” you searched through your backpack to find it.

The volleyball player was this month’s star of the month and you had to write a piece on his past achievements. He was extremely kind and was careful not to use any advanced sports terminology to make sure anyone could easily read the interview, which you were grateful for.

Before you parted, he gave you a side hug out of habit and apologized when he realized that it was only his first time meeting you. You laughed it off and insisted that now you could be friends since you two hugged already. Relieved that you weren’t disturbed, he happily waved goodbye to you as he walked away.

Being in a different class than Sunwoo meant that you had to wait until lunch period to see him. You honestly didn’t even know if you wanted to see him. You weren’t ready to face him yet.

When the bell finally rang and it was time for lunch, Juyeon forced you to go to the cafeteria instead of hiding out in an empty classroom. The moment you sat down with your tray, however, you felt all eyes on you. Your stomach dropped, knowing it couldn’t be good news.

“Y/n, is this true..?” Jaehyun asked, showing you the new post on the gossip page. You hated that you were always right about bad intuitions.

KSW and Y/INITIALS caught making out at last night’s party… is BJY a side hoe?

You had no idea when a photo was taken in the brief second you and Jacob hugged that morning. When you scrolled and saw the next part, your heart dropped.

A shocking revelation of history: Y/INITIALS and SYJ used to date in freshman year. Does this have anything to do with the swimmer and basketball players always next to her?

You felt your breath caught in your throat as you read through the comments.

“Isn’t BJY on the volleyball team and SYJ on the baseball team?”

“Wow she clearly has a type.”

“I guess athletes just hit it well 👀”

“And here I thought KSW was the hoe… who’s playing with who?”

“Aye so KSW finally managed to break through her. Thanks for my $10 bro.”

“Aren’t the basketball players LJY and LJH? And the swimmer KYH? The Bermuda line, right?? I always thought she had a thing with one of them.”

“So much for the icy Y/INITIALS. She was acting all pretentious when she was already having all her fun.”

Juyeon grabbed the phone out of your hands and glared at Jaehyun. You never thought your past relationship would ever get exposed. There were only a handful of people who knew about it and it had stayed hidden under the rug up until now. It was something you wanted to bury and never think about ever again.

Shakily, you got up and ran out of the cafeteria with Younghoon calling out after you. You ran as fast as you could. You didn’t stop until you busted through the doors and collapsed on the rooftop. Your lungs were on fire and you closed your eyes to stop the ringing in your ears.

Meanwhile, Sunwoo was running across the school to find you. When he didn’t see you in the club room, he changed his target and sought out Eric.

“Is it true?” he demanded when he finally saw his friend.

“I can’t believe people already figured out that it’s me,” Eric sighed.

“Is it true?” Sunwoo repeated.

“Yes, yes, it’s true,” he answered with his hands up in defeat. “She never wanted anyone to find out. We didn’t exactly end on good terms. It’s something I’m not proud of.”

“What happened?” he asked, trying to contain his anger. “What did you do to her?”

“I…” Eric trailed off. “I cheated on her.”

“What the hell, Eric?” Sunwoo yelled.

“I-I was stupid! And young. It’s the biggest mistake I made in my life,” he admitted.

Frustrated, Sunwoo left and ran off in search of you again. When you weren’t anywhere to be found, he checked the rooftop as a last resort. He didn’t expect to actually see you there.

“Y/n,” he breathed. You felt a lump form in your throat. It was the first time he had addressed you by your name.

“Get away from me,” you glared. “Was I nothing but a bet to you? Was I just a challenge for you to win?”

“Y/n, I never placed bets on you. I don’t know what other people have been betting on but I have always been genuine with you,” he affirmed.

You refused to let your tears fall. There was no way Kim Sunwoo was going to see you cry.

“I like you,” he confessed. “I like you a lot. I meant to say this that night but got too flustered. So I wanted to tell you today. Whenever I see you, the butterflies in my stomach won’t go away. When I don’t see you, I miss you like crazy. You inspire me to become a better person and all I want to do is hold you and call you mine.”

And now Kim Sunwoo has officially seen you cry. He bent down to wrap his arms around you as you sobbed into his shoulder.

“You’re an asshole,” you mumbled after you calmed down.

“I think you mean the opposite,” he chuckled. “Whatever barriers you put up to protect yourself, I’m going to take them down one by one. With you. Together.”

“Who said I’m helping?” you muttered.

“Then I guess I have to work twice as hard to prove myself,” he softly smiled.

“This is embarrassing,” you groaned.

“This will only be embarrassing for me if you reject me,” his hand reached out to the nape of his neck. “So what do you say? Will you go out with me?”

“I’ll think about it,” you huffed, prompting a chuckle from him.

[theaufanartist]

“𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘣𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶.”

Choi Jong Ho💖(spin off to the Min Gi series)

“Hey, have you heard that professor Lee is going on a break for a month?”You whisper, while your best friend was pretty invested in reading a book in the library.

“Okay,”she says, before diving back again into where she was.

“C’mon, who’s gonna teach us for a month now? She was the best,”you slump down in the chair next to her, pouting at the assignment in front of me. You sigh and look at her.

“Seriously? You’ve read this book like a thousand times!” You whisper yell.

“So what? I still love it,”she says, smiling. Shaking your head, you get up from your seat, taking your assignment. She looks up at you, raising an eyebrow.

“I’ve a lecture with Ms Cho. I really do wonder, what made me take this stupid subject?”

“Hmm, lets see. Three words. Choi. Jong. Ho,”she sneers at you.

“Hmm, sounds about right,”you teasingly wink at her, blowing a kiss.

“See you in the class, buttercup,”you say, bidding her goodbye.

Coming out of the library, you make way towards the class you despised the most. Then, why were you so excited to attend it?

Three words, as your best friend quoted a few minutes ago.

Choi Jong Ho. Cousin of Choi San, one of the hottest seniors on campus, best friend of Song Min Gi, your best friend’s ex.

When you walk in the class, your eyes first search for that person you wanted to see before this cursed class begins. You finally find him sitting at the back , running his hand through his hair, a habit you never though you would ever find attractive, talking to his best friend, Seungmin; both being the top of the class.

Ho’s eyes meet yours and he sends you a smile. You turn your face away, not letting him or anyone see the blush creeping on my face. He looks down at his open book and smiles, but quickly pulls himself back to Seungmin’s talks.

“Alrighty, kiddos,”Mrs Cho booms in the class, a thick stack of paper in her hands, looking disappointed. You bite down on your lower lip in nervousness, because you knew that the stack that devil of a woman was holding, was the testament of your absurdity in understanding the evil subject of calculus.

“So, I’ll pass over the papers, go through them,”she says,”and please, for the love of God, if you don’t know the answer, please don’t write “Hello Mrs Cho, I really don’t like the subject, but please consider this more like an apology, than a fact, cause I think I’ll go with the latter for myself, but is the answer 8799?””

Well, that was you.

You tried not to get seen by her. She passed the papers in the crowd, giving you the stink eye. You already knew that you won’t get the best marks, but you didn’t even realise that you would fail. You gave out a low whine, and ducked you head in your hands. Shaking your head, you stuffed the paper in your bag, and tried to concentrate in the class for the next forty three minutes. After the class ended, you tried to make your way to the door quickly, trying to avoid any contact. But, you couldn’t avoid Mrs Cho. She called you.

“You do know that you performed terribly,”she says, looking at you. You gave her a small nod.

“I’ll definitely try to improve, Mrs Cho,”you say. She hums, and waves her hand, dismissing you. You let out a soft sigh, and make your way towards the library. You take out your test, and get up to find some reference books for studying.

“Stupid class, stupid Choi, stupid pretty face,”you keep mumbling, till someone clears their throat. You freeze in your spot. Turning around, you find Seungmin staring at you, an amused smile plastered on his face.

“Stupid Choi, huh?”he says, tilting his head in a teasing way.

“Uh, um, what do you want?”you ask him, trying to hide your nervous state.

“A little birdie told me that you joined this class because of someone,”he says, standing next to you, going through books. You look at him wide eyed, but quickly gain your composure.

“You’re bluffing,”you say, narrow eyed. He smirks, and turns to look at you.

“Well, not if the little birdie was you,”he says, making you slap a hand on your mouth.

“Were you eavesdropping on us!!!???”you ask him, which makes him giggle.

“I didn’t mean to, but yeah, when I heard someone talking about Mrs Cho, I wanted to see who it was, but then, your best friend reveals it,”he says, making you facepalm yourself with the book in your hand.

“See, I know you are his best friend, but please don’t tell him,”you say. He pretends to think a little over what you say, and smiles at you.

“I can try, but well, what will I get in return?”he asks.

“Free food?”you reply, sheepishly smiling. He smirks at you, and leaves. You give out a sigh of relief. Seungmin wouldn’t sell you out, right?

The next day, while you tried studying in the library, you heard the chair opposite to you, screech. You tried not looking at the person in front of you, and tried solving the problems on your own.

“I think you’re doing that wrong,”you hear someone whisper. You look up from your book and see the last person you expected to see.

Choi Jong Ho.

He smiles at you, and takes the notebook and pencil from you, and solves it. You’re still in shock as to why would he do that. But, he was Jong Ho. He loved helping others.

“Here you go. You were supposed to find the f(x) over here,”he explains, but you were totally lost in how soothing his voice sounded. All the frustration that you were feeling while solving a few moments ago vanished into thin air.

“Thank you, Jong Ho,”you say, trying to avoid seeing him in the eye. He smiles at you, mumbling a “no problem” and gets back to solving his assignment. While you were practising problems, Jong Ho was stealing glances at you. You seemed like the shy type, but not that shy one. You knew when to speak up. He liked how you always stood with your best friend, and how his cousin always talked about you. San always treated you like his small sister. He recollects what Seungmin told him,

Past.

“Dude, you’ve got to make a move on her. I heard about her best friend talking with her. She likes you!”

“You’re joking,”he says, waiting for you to enter the classroom.

“Have I ever lied?”

“But, you definitely tease,”he retorts, making Seungmin smirk.

“Yeah,”he says, laughing, “but that’s not the point. She has always caught your attention. So, why aren’t you doing something?”

“How am I supposed to do that?”he asks, looking down at the open book in front of him. Then he sees you enter the classroom, smiling at him.

“Yeah, you’re whipped,”Seungmin teases, making Jong Ho send a glare his way.

Present

“Hey Jong Ho,”you manage to calm your nerves and call him. He looks at you, and nods. You pass your book at him.

“Is that correct?”you ask him. He looks through your steps. Taking the pencil, he marks something and keeps solving. Then he passes the book your way.

“You see, the derivative wasn’t the only answer you had to find. You had to keep on adding x to it,”he explains. You close the book and rest your face in your palms.

“Yep, I’m definitely failing this test, too,”you mumbled. He looks at you, but can’t help smiling.

“Why don’t I tutor you?”he suggests, meekly. You look at him, wide eyed, but you even see that his ears have turned red. Was he shy?

You mentally cooed at how cute he looked.

“Would you really do that?”
”I mean, why not?”

“Oh my god, Jong Ho, you’re a godsend!”you whisper exclaim, making him giggle. You smile at him, and the rest of the day, he helps you get through the sums.

***********a month later***********

“So, they got back together!”you exclaim, giddy with excitement. Jong Ho simply smiles at you. You kinda hung out with Jong Ho & Seungmin after classes, and walk with your best friend & San, home. Seungmin was side eying Jong Ho, who was busy smiling and making googly eyes at you.

“So, do you like someone?”Seungmin asks, making you and Jong Ho freeze. You were perplexed because you thought he was trying to get it out of you, but why did Jong Ho’s face turn red? Did he like someone, too?
”Uh,”you say, laughing awkwardly, “we need to go practise sums. The test is tomorrow,”you say, trying to dissolve the awkwardness. Seungmin hums, and you three walk to the library.

Hours pass and you were still solving. Seungmin packs his bag, and bids you both goodbye, leaving you and Jong Ho, together. You both were sitting side by side. Throughout these days, physical touches didn’t matter much. Brushing of hands, bumping your hands, laying your head on each other’s shoulders didn’t really matter. So what changed today? Was it the question that Seungmin asked?

“Hey,”Jong Ho asks, poking your hand.

“Huh?”

“What’s wrong? You’ve been zoning out a lot,”he says.

“It’s…..nothing,”you say, trying to solve the questions in front of you.

“Tomorrow is the test, finally,”you say, making him give you a curt smile.

“So, uh, you’ll stop hanging out with me from tomorrow?”he asks, making you look at him.

“Why would you think like that, Jong?”you ask, your attention wholly on him. He was fidgeting with his fingers.

“I, uh, um,”he stutters, making you feel confused. You hold his hand, stopping him from fidgeting. He looks at you.

“I wanted to say something since a long time, now,”he says, now your turn to nervously fidget with your fingers. He turns to look you in the eye. Holding your hand, he rubs his thumb over your knuckles.

“I like you.”

Your eyes widen. You surely did not expect this. Your crush of three years, confessing?

“I don’t actually like you. I’ve been in love with you, ever since Sannie hyung introduced you. I’ve always wanted to say this, but you seemed so out of my league-“

“Hold up-out of YOUR LEAGUE? THE CHOI JONG HO’S LEAGUE? I LITERALLY JOINED THIS STUPID CLASS BECAUSE OF YOU-“

Uh oh..that shouldn’t have happened. You stop midway, hoping he didn’t hear the last part, but he definitely did. His eyes widen comically, but his lips slowly curve into a smirk.

“So, you joined this class because of me?”

“You weren’t supposed to know that!”you say, facepalming. He slowly removes your hands, and looks at you.

“Now, now, don’t leave me hanging,”he asks, slowly leaning in.

“𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘣𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶,” you say, closing the distance between you. You feel him smile in the kiss, that makes you smile, too.

Breaking it, he pecks your lips again, making you giggle, and boop his nose with yours.

“So, what does this make us?”he asks you, hand in hand, walking towards your home.

“Many people would consider this as dating, but whatever floats your boat,”you reply sarcastically. He twirls you around, hands on your waist.

“Never knew you were this sarcastic, hm?”he says, tucking a stray hair behind your ear, pecking your lips.

“Okay kids, this is clearly not a good place to kiss,”you hear someone speak, making you both look at San, with an amused face, “considering most of us are single.”

“Now, now, Sannie hyung, gimme the sugar,”you hear Seungmin speak. San unwillingly takes out a $20 bill, and places it in his hands.

“Did you guys bet on us?”Jong Ho asks, surprised.

“Yes. Hyung thought you won’t get your girl, and I knew you would end up together,”Seungmin says, smiling widely.

“Well,”San speaks up, nearing you both, “I’m glad you guys ended up together.”

You both look at them, then at each other, smiling.

“We’re glad, too.”

[eyezari]

math tutor (tsukki x f!reader)

you’ve been annoying tsukishima to be your math tutor considering he was the top student and he keeps rejecting you,, one day you finally give up and ask the second top student for help and he clearly was not happy about it

consider this!!!

→ gender-neutral y/n!  

→ little angst.... if you squint..

→ possessive tsukki?? is this even a warning

→ not punctuated correctly

“just this one question? surely...!” you plead, holding tightly onto your textbook. you were so close to failing this semester and you really needed your average to be lifted through the upcoming exams. when everyone thought it was the easiest subject, you found it the most difficult. 

so you’re back again, the next day. tsukki was used to you coming up to him every lesson to ask for help,, in fact its been going on since the beginning of the year. and he never helped. not once. 

you don’t know why you kept coming back and begging him when you knew damn well he was gonna give you the same harsh answer. he would say things like, ‘are you dumb? of course not.’ or ‘not in a million years.’ and his personal favourite, ‘please come back during business hours.” (you still don’t know when that is)

yamaguchi, who sat next to him looked at you two amused. “please! this is probably the most difficult one yet. khan academy didn’t help. i’ve tried everything.” tsukishima didn’t even bat an eye, he didn’t even spare a glance and his head down onto his page. you sigh. 

“y/n, who do you take me for?” he finally said and you sigh again. you were seriously lost and the math teacher is always out of the room doing whatever. the revision notes, you just didn’t understand. and your friends just gave you shallow explanations. 

the reason why you went to him in the first place is when you overheard him teaching another girl in class. she didn’t understand anything but it’s like he adapted her learning method and explained it to her like it was the easiest thing in the world. after that, that girl never failed to get good grades. ‘why doesn’t he wanna teach me?.. it’s just one question..’ you thought. 

to be honest, your heart would just ache whenever you thought about it. he decided to help someone else and they passed the whole year but couldn’t give you a single answer. you groan, scratching your head when you read the question again. then you turned to hinata, “hey, tsukishima has helped you guys out before right?”

“tsukishima? yeah but he gave up after and refused to teach us anymore, lol.” he smiles at you before going back to playing with his volleyball keychain. oh. so it was really just you who he refused to help. maybe it’s because you’re not close? no, you’ve known each other for quite sometime.. as.. friends. wait, no.. acquaintances? your jaw dropped as you realised, ‘does he not even think of me as a friend......bruh..’ 

you shook your head and just kept doing the rest of the practice test, skipping questions that you were unsure of.

the next week after you marked your practice test; you realised you were still way behind. you barely passed half of it, with an underwhelming score of 30 out of 58. you still didn’t understand most of it. not even photomath explained well. you sneak a peek at tsukki’s paper... 58 out of 58.. huh. interesting. he recently went on a training camp for volleyball club and still managed to study well. you stood up to stand in front of his desk which was next to yours. 

“tsukki.” you try and get his attention, but with his headphones on his head, it might be difficult. you repeated his name several times, nervously fidgeting with your fingers. you noticed he was in a sort of sour mood after his volleyball training camp and you couldn’t help but to feel bad you were disturbing him. 

with a scowl on his face, he removes his headphones. “what now?”

you became even more nervous now that his attention was on you. “um, can i just ask how you did the quadratic relations part.. i just don’t quite understand.” you said quietly. 

he only glared at you. “y/n, you must be fucking with me.” he said suddenly, catching you off guard. “how many times do i have to say no? it’s been too long. don’t you know how to give up? you’re so annoying honestly, get it through your brain. i’ll never teach you anything” those words hit you like a truck. especially because they came from tsukki. 

tears stung at your eyes and honestly, you were at a loss for words. you wanted to apologise and explain yourself but you couldn’t. a thought went through your head, ‘maybe it is annoying to constantly ask him for help..’ 

you muttered a “sorry” before quickly returning to your seat, not to mention that yamaguchi was quite shocked too and gave you an apologetic smile. you felt extremely embarrassed he just said that in front of the whole class. a few minutes later, you excused yourself from class and ran to the bathroom just to fix yourself up. somehow, you were choking on your tears.

it really shouldn’t have hurt you this much, but knowing you made tsukki dislike you even more just hit a different nerve. 

the next few days, you’ve been trying hard. but clearly not hard enough since you are still barely passing the revision. you were extremely disappointed in yourself since you did make an effort to learn but it simply wasn’t enough. you really wanted to apologise to tsukki but knew it would make things worse so you didn’t even try to talk to him. but you were hopeless, you just needed the explanation to the topic because you didn’t have anyone around you to ask. 

then you had an idea... the second top student named saiki came back from his trip. surely he’d help you just a little bit. you glance to your right, to where his desk was. and he did attend school! working up the courage to ask him, you turned to him. “welcome back.” and he smiled at you, waving at you. 

“how are your studies?” he said, resting his head on his palm. 

you groaned, “bad. i am literally hopeless at this. do you mind just explaining the parabola thing? i just don’t get it.” this caught the attention of many people around you. especially tsukki. your classmates suddenly thought it was weird you weren’t bugging tsukishima, maybe you have finally learnt your lesson. 

yamaguchi’s ears perked up as well, and suddenly everyone was lowkey trying to listen. “yeah!” and you smiled brightly. saiki moves his desk to get closer to you and he starts explaining the problem. at first it was confusing, but he tried to dumb it down for you as much as possible. you were seriously grateful because you understood most of it.

“thank you so much, jesus christ.” you sighed in relief. “so it opens downwards and the directrix is 2?” 

“yup. good job.” he pats you on the head. you smiled back. 

“wrong.” someone called out randomly, and you turned to your left to see it was tsukishima. “it’s 4.” he looked displeased. extremely.

saiki looked lost. “hm, i wonder where i made the error. do you mind explaning it to me then?” he asks tsukki.

his face darkened. “i do mind,,” and saiki just smiled awkwardly.

“y/n, it’s been a couple weeks. i’ll teach myself and i’ll get back to you later. is that fine with you?” saiki offered, returning his desk to the original position.

“yeah, thank you.” you grinned. you turned to your left again and saw tsukishima basically frowning.

why is he so rude today? what’s going on? is he okay? your head fills with random thoughts as you worry about him. 

the lesson seemed to go for hours and the heavy atmosphere between the two of you grew and it was excruciating. when you were finally dismissed, you had to stay back to clean the classroom. but you didn’t expect tsukki and yamaguchi to stay back too, considering they have club activities.

“hey yamaguchi, don’t you guys have club activities?” 

“yeah, we do but tsukki is on class duty. i’m about to leave soon.” he said sheepishly, grabbing his bag. 

so coincidentally you were on class duty with tsukishima. out of all days, you sighed heavily. 

you two were left in the class and he didn’t hesitate to start moving the desks. but you stood still, and stared at him. he was so pretty. 

heat rose to your cheeks as you recollected your thoughts and started packing up. it was an awkward silence as you two tidied the room. you were in the middle of wiping the board when he suddenly said, “open your textbook.” 

you were taken back. “what?” 

“you heard me.” he said bluntly. “open your textbook.”

“but why?” you stuttered a little bit.

“do you want me to teach you or not?” 

your face flushed. teach you? your mind blanked. “hnnn...” you couldn’t form coherent sentences “yes.. please.” 

he began to tutor you the study material. tsukki was obviously frustrated trying to teach you. it was like teaching a cat how to do dog tricks after all. you scratched your head at one question, still not getting it. 

you pursed your lips. it’s been 10 minutes and you’re not past the first half of the question. tsukki groans. “what you do is..” he explained it perfectly. but it went straight through your ears. you were too busy staring at his features, he was so close to you. 

this was the first time you realised how hard you fell for him, and tears pricked your eyes as your cheeks began to turn red. holy shit. i really like him. but chances are, i’m just a nobody to him. 

“y/n. are you even paying attention? this is why i didn’t wanna teach you.” he pinched his nose in stress. your heart sank. you didn’t want to inconvenience him any further.

“we can stop now, it’s getting late and you still have club activities right? i can buy you snacks tomorrow. thank you tsukishima.” you said with a sheepish smile. 

he furrowed his eyebrows. you just used his real name and not his nickname. he just found it odd how you wanted to stop so soon. you started packing up your things.

“it’s not even past 5. you need to learn this chapter.” he said abruptly. 

you stood up and grabbed your bag. “no, no seriously, it’s okay. i’ll just study tomorrow and-”

he grabbed your wrist and pulled you down. “and let you talk to saiki? no thanks.”

you were speechless once again, face red once more. “only i can teach you. understand?” he looks at you right in the eyes and all you wanted to do in that moment was to disappear. reluctantly, you nod. 

‎ ‏ ‐ ‑ ‒ – — ―

you can clearly tell my language is eu/au LMFAOO its the ‘surely’ for me GUYS COMMENT PLS ! I NEED INTERACTIONS 

[keyofjetwolf]

Bonus Question Answers! (non-anime heat 1)

I asked a silly question! You gave me incredible answers. SO VERY MANY INCREDIBLE ANSWERS. Now, I present my favourites!

Another that was so so so hard to narrow down. I did have to make special mention, though, at the sheer volume of you who (correctly) pointed out Haruka and Michiru either spending their quarantine fucking, or frustrated at being unable to fuck. Thank you, heroes.

If your answer is listed below, you’ve earned an entry in a random draw to win a GIFTENING liveblog OF YOUR CHOICE

—

Q:  The Senshi are all quarantining together! Describe what a wonderful/terrible/wonderrible idea this is. (YOU CANNOT BE TOO DETAILED)

~~~

*  First things first: if the Senshi are all quarantining *together*, then they must be old enough to be not living with their parents (or lack thereof). Furthermore, they must be living in a place big enough to accommodate all of them. Now, the Outers already have a huge fuck-off house, so if we're cheating and saying ALL the Senshi, not just the Inners, then we can say that Usagi and the girls moved in with Haruka and the girls after high school. Usagi and Makoto and Minako have almost certainly snubbed college; Ami and Rei not only attending, but Ami is aiming to get her Master's, so both of them have to take online courses. Setsuna is teaching them. Haruka and Michiru graduated from college *ages* ago. Hotaru also has to take online courses, but for high school since she'd be about that age at this point. Chibs is not here because she's smarter than to travel back in time to when there was a GLOBAL PANDEMIC. Now then! Usagi is moping because she can't see Mamoru or Chibi-Usa, so she reads manga and watches TV to distract herself. As per her usual she mostly shoves her nose into what everyone else is doing, then gets distracted by a passing butterfly and chases it until she finds something new to stick her nose into. She's honestly taking the quarantine the hardest, even though she's living in a house with all her closest friends. The delivery guy knows her by name and by her super-cute hand-sewn (by Makoto) pink-and-white bunny mask. Makoto has sewn everyone custom masks, actually, which brings us to... Makoto naturally is doing the cooking and cleaning and laundry, and while she does love doing these things, she's now doing them for NINE PEOPLE, and Usagi has never learned to fold a sock in her life, and Ami folds socks but is crazy busy with her coursework, and Minako/Rei/Michiru/Haruka can't be bothered for one reason or another, and Makoto is about to explode because everybody assumes she'll do everything and do it smiling and normally they wouldn't be WRONG but COME THE FUCK ON YOU GUYS. She is in a constant state of being two steps away from an explosion. The only saving grace is Setsuna, who does actually help out in between teaching online courses, and who patiently listens to Makoto vent, because she understands that if Makoto melts down, so will the rest of the household. Makoto has a pink-and-green rose mask; Setsuna has a wine red mask with black stitching. Ami has vanished into her room. STUDY, STUDY, STUDY, STUDY. She is literally taking four courses at once because with a global pandemic, a) what else is there to do with one's life b) the rest of the household is utter chaos c) MUST DEVELOP VACCINE. She has actually be helping researchers online with this under an anonymous name. She *wants* to go out and volunteer, but understands that the best thing she can do is quarantine properly. She is constantly lecturing everyone about Best Quarantine Practices, to the point that the others mostly tune her out now. This is only piling onto her constant stress. Hotaru visits her occasionally with tea and textbooks so they can study and destress together. It's good for both of them, especially since Hotaru, with her health issues, is the most at risk of all of them. Hotaru's also used to isolation, so she's a surprisingly stabilizing presence for everybody. Ami and Hotaru both have standard hospital red-lined white masks along with their custom masks (Ami's is light blue with dolphin clasps on the side; Hotaru's is designed based on that optical illusion that's either a lamp or two people facing each other), because you need one for when the other is in the wash. Minako has become a Twitch game streamer and beauty YouTuber and is updating both CONSTANTLY, with YT guest star appearances by Michiru (who is always effortlessly and flawlessly beautiful) and Rei (who is using Minako to promote her own YouTube channel). Minako tried to get Usagi to be the camerawoman for her YT show but Usagi wanted to be the star too much, so now Minako as strong-armed Haruka into doing it. Haruka is bored out of her mind because she can't go out on drives, so she helps Minako out without complaint. Sometimes she even guest-stars on Minako's Twitch streams, depending on the game. Getting to film beautiful girls making themselves even hotter? Sure, she's into that. Minako's mask is glittery gold with red ribbons for cords; Rei's mask is black with flame decals on the sides; Haruka's is a solid black, tight and sporty; Michiru's is seemingly plain white, "coincidentally" complementing Haruka's, but is made of fine linen and silk. Rei meanwhile doesn't actually know what her channel is about and didn't give two shits about YouTube until Minako started doing it, but Minako is actually raking in a stupid amount of cash from doing this, so Rei figured, how hard could it be?? Right now she's somewhere in between doing her own beauty channel, doing paranormal investigations, cooking channel (she proudly presents instant meals as time- and money-saving masterpieces without an ounce of self-awareness. Haruka has had to hold Makoto back from suplexing her more than once), and a video review column where she tries things out and gives her opinions on them. She's *absolutely furious* that her channel is not as popular as Minako's. She's also strongarmed Haruka into being her camerawoman. Michiru allows this because watching Minako and Rei fight over their respective channels is the most amusement she's had all year. Ami asks Rei when she finds the time to study. Rei ignores her.  -- @ayu-ohseki  [I said spare no detail, AND YOU DID NOT. Thoughtful, considered, and a fun read start to finish, amazing.]

~~~

*  It is the best. Minako has a captive audience, Makoto has everyone to cook for, Rei has taken charge of how to Do Everything, Ami can hole up with her books and tutor Usagi, Usagi has all the time to play games and read comics. It is the worst. Minako has a captive audience and they want new stories faster than she can make them. Makoto has everyone to cook for and they eat so much all the time. Rei has taken charge of how to Do Everything but no one will listen. Ami can hole up with her books but that doesn't mean its quiet enough to read, and she can tutor Usagi but that doesn't mean Usagi is even making a small attempt at listening like in the group study sessions. Usagi has all the time to play video games and read comics, but no one will let her, especially Rei. -- @cakeandpi  [Loved the Dickensian Best of Times/Worst of Times structure, precisely the level of epic this clusterfuck needs.]

~~~

*  In the best of situations, it is difficult to find housing for nine people on short notice, and these are not the best of situations. Given that she had, from at least the age of four, been bound to the moon by a curse of blood, it should not have come as any grand opportunity to Michiru that the opportunity to recuse herself from larger society life would be immediately and aggressively offset by Haruka's invitation for the Senshi to come quarantine at the Kaioh beach cottage. 

One might assume that perhaps Usagi's parents, or Ami's mother, or Rei's grandfather, might have objected to their children being out of their sight in such a time, but that is to discount the general narrative inconvenience that seemed to pursue Michiru to the last. "Babe, there's like 6 bedrooms in the place," Haruka has said, quite missing the point entirely that Michiru had made it her goal to make use of everyone one of them. And so, here she was, where one might be sipping a glass of champagne on the veranda overlooking the sea, lover at her side, instead she was listening to the endless sniping between Rei and Usagi as they pattered about the house, there was no lover next to her, but only Ami with her endless piles of conspicuously books that Michiru felt quite certain had been selected for the view their covers provided others, Mako sending away the cook for what were noted to be COVID concerns but Michiru felt were more the concern of her longing for the spacious kitchen. Her mind preserved her enough not to speak of Minako, nor of the fact that the one she would have beside her was currently playing Mario Kart with such. Hotaru and Pluto were there, also. Michiru took another deep drink of the wine. With the volume she was consuming, she would have to switch to boxed wine. At this rate, she may qualify as hand santizer herself, which nearly stayed her hand. Usagi wailed loudly at Rei. Michiru took another drink. No Matter, she thought, for I will not die before my appointed time. The Moon will certainly see to that.  -- @docholligay  [You absolutely catered this to me and you know it, you whore. Hilarious AND beautifully written, I detest you.]

~~~

*  Usagi is thrilled to have all of her favorite people in one place. Mako will cook! Ami will read to them! Mina will write and Rei will direct plays for them all to perform! Haruka will make sure they stay fit! Michiru will teach them etiquette! Hotaru and Setsuna will also be there! Her favorite cats will be there to purr and offer guidance without actual knowledge and nagging! Yay! After a week, Usagi is still relentlessly happy. To be otherwise would be to admit that her friends are not perfect, perfectly suited for each other, and perfectly happy. She hasn't seen Haruka and Michiru at all in days; they commandeered the back bedroom with it's own bathroom and the others only know they're still in there by the noises *ahem*, by the food delivery people who keep coming to the door, and the empty food containers that appear in the hallway. Mina and Rei are not speaking to each other after the Hair Clip Incident. Ami is still diligently serving as a go-between, but Mako refused and will not give either of them any of her cooking, so Rei keeps making Hello Curry and leaving the kitchen a disaster, while Mina somehow keeps convincing Haruka and Michiru's uber eats drivers to give her stuff. There is only one litter box for the two cats, and that is not enough. And Artemis keeps leaving the seat up on the toilet. No one knows how, or why, but he does. Hotaru and Setsuna are also there. Worst (best?) of all, Usagi doesn't miss Mamoru at all, and hasn't actually noticed his absence. He's been missing for three days. -- @incorrecttact  [I ADORE the little touch of Usagi having to aggressively fake it because even she is struggling THIS CANNOT BE ALLOWED. You made me bark laugh at the end. Glorious.]

~~~

*  Rei's Journal: It's day 8 under lockdown and I have somehow managed to retain my sanity. It has not been easy. By day 4 Minako and Makoto were at each other's throats because Minako tried to clip her toenails in the kitchen, due to Ami holing herself up in the bathroom. Makoto threatened to make Minako eat a toenail burrito, and by God I think Minako actually would eat it just to show Mako up. It has been a struggle to keep Usagi from eating all the food, and I fear she is contemplating the idea of eating Luna and/or Artemis. Ami is retreating further and further into her shell. She has solved every math problem in every math book she had at her disposal, and is now showing withdrawal symptoms. The walls of her room are covered in math equations. I am doing as best I can; my rations of "Here!" Quarantine snacks have been balanced to last me for at least the next week, but after that point I am not sure what happens. As a shrine maiden, I'm used to long periods of silence in my meditation. It's been difficult keeping my focus with Usagi and the others slowly losing their minds, but I am a survivor if nothing else. If I could survive D-Point, I can survive this... Wait I didn't survive D-Point FUCK.  -- @judedeluca  [Rei’s journal, yes, thank you for catering to me directly, I appreciate your service and killer ending.]

~~~

*  Everyone's locked into separate rooms by day 2, or make-shift rooms with blankets taped to the ceiling. By day 3, there's lines on the floor. Ami makes a timetable for when everyone can go to shared spaces like the kitchen or bathroom. Usagi is distressed that all of her friends can't get along, even as she has an existential crisis about not wanting to be around them herself. Rei is suddenly the mom friend, when Mako realizes that trying to help everyone leads to her stress-baking leads to her taking too much time in the kitchen leads to everyone more pissed off. Minako is alternately drunk off her ass and egging everyone on, or making notes for pressure cooker situations to add to training. Haruka gets more sullen than anyone's seen her, Michiru loses some of her polish as her nerves finally fray by the end of the week, and is cussing people out by day 9. Setsuna immediately regrets her decision not to hunker down at the time gate. Hotaru's glad to be included but so anxious she starts collecting the house's lamps in her area. Ami has to make a timetable for using those as well, so Hotaru doesn't call death to them all. Somehow, they survive. When things let up, they all promise not to speak of it again, at least not directly, and then immediately all take at least 3 days to be by themselves in their own spaces. -- @katrani  [Usagi’s existential crisis, yessss. Hotaru stress-hoarding lamps though, everything I never knew I wanted.]

~~~

*  Ordered in Michru's least loss to greatest, or conversely, Usagi's greatest loss to least: 1) they stay at Michiru's mansion. It's huge. It's spacious. Michiru disappears within minutes and isn't seen again until 14 days later. Pluto finds her easily enough for tea, Rei does so out of dogged determination, and Haruka doesn't have to try. Usagi does, but she gets lost easily and there are so many snacks everywhere, she gets distracted. what's that? A room filled with tvs? another with comics? Mako worries about her getting cavities and uses the greatest kitchen ever to cook things up. She almost never leaves there. Ami poisons the pool every time she leaves as part of the great Hatemace. Chibs and Hotaru get a chance to be kids and actually play. If the starlights are there, Seiya and Haruka have a dramatic face off. Mina makes sure to leave graffiti everywhere. Despite her best efforts, she can't find Michiru's weakness. Artemis and Luna take a vacation. 2) They stay at Usagi's, Minako's, or Ami's. They do not stay at Rei's because Grandpa is old and Rei has put the fear of god in anyone who dares come to the temple. The houses/apartments are small and cramped with just the five inners. With everyone else? Chaos. Artemis and Luna are glad they aren't affected and escape. Chibs conveniently stays in the covid-free future/"look, I already have teh vaccine! I don't have to stay here with you". Hotaru contemplates reincarnating again. Mako enjoys time with Usagi's mom, cooking together (no, she isn't crying, you're crying). Minako takes extremely long showers to piss Michiru off. Michiru is not sure how she got forced into this, she feels the hand of god in play and curses the writer internally. Pluto unravels the mystery of super!spy!Usagi's Dad but no one will ever know the answer to that. Ami escapes online and plays sims where they all have their own rooms, with Jet's help. Rei turns on the stove and pretends its the great fire to meditate. Haruka likes this long sleepover! She's never got to do one before! Usagi agrees and they plan horror movies and games and fast food. If the starlights are there, Seiya plans an even greater slumber party. Usagi helps both because more parties are always better. 3) They stay at Mako's two-room apartment. Chibs doesn't even step into the past, she's heard the horror stories from her aunts. Hotaru begins the sequence for the end of the world. Word of god or no word of god, Michiru refuses to go. When the narrative railroads her into it, she claims the balcony for herself, furnishes it, and locks the door so no one else can come. Pluto stays in the void, unreachable by all. Mako has never seen her apartment so filled and noisy and she's both elated and afraid for her plants. Her plants are terrified and tremble the entire time. Rei lives in the oven. Minako claims the bathroom--a toll is required for anyone else to enter. Ami puts all her brainpower to finding a cure to escape this hellhole. The bedroom is a nonstop competitive slumber party, and  Minako, Haruka, and Seiya have a song off. A toll is still required to enter the bathroom. Usagi breaks onto the balcony once to hug Michiru.  -- @kumeko  [I love the different branches, ALL THE SHENANIGANS]

~~~

*  (Putting Inners in college so Ami isn’t on call as a doctor) The good news is that the Outers’ ridiculously spacious mansion is, in fact, ridiculously spacious enough to accomodate eleven people (I’m certain Mamoru was not in your intentions, but it was agreed that Mamoru is a good quarantine podmate who will follow all necessary rules, and also Usagi would be insufferable if he’s not there and Mako points out that he lives alone and the social isolation would be killer) and three cats. Haruka’s happy to have Minako around all the time, and Pluto and Hotaru are thrilled to have Chibs. (Rei asked why Pluto and Chibiusa can’t just go back to their own times. Pluto gives a lengthy explanation about past and future virology that may or may not be total bullshit. No one really knows with her.) Ami is continuing her studies, as she does, and has a consistent schedule involving Study Hours and Socializing Hours. She does, however, make sure to swim in the Outers Mansion Pool every day at the same time Michiru customarily does. Neither of them says anything about this. Their rivalry continues. Michiru knows every nook, cranny, and secret passage there, and can easily avoid anyone who’s gotten stir-crazy should she so choose. Mako has taken command of the kitchen, and cannot be talked out of doing all the cooking. The food is delicious, nutritious, and is basically Quarantine Baking Times Twelve. Her skills are appreciated by all. Mamoru is likewise well-behaved, and mostly spends his time being quietly useful, spending time with Usagi, and listening to classical music with Michiru without otherwise interacting with her, making him the one man whose presence she will tolerate. The cats are well-behaved. They are the ones who are quarantining well. Minako, of course, is dying of boredom by the month and a half mark, and proceeds to take up a wide variety of hobbies, only to move on when they turn out way less fun than the video suggested. She annoys the others to show her how to bake tarts, or paint, or whatever it is Pluto does all day. Eventually she does find something she enjoys enough to stick with - wirework. While her preference is for jewelry, she does work with larger scale stuff just enough to present Mamoru with her masterpiece - Chicken Sculpture 2.0. (He seethes.) Rei, meanwhile, has also taken up new and exciting hobbies, but she will determinedly stick with each one until she has reached an arbitrary goal of Accomplishment. Even when she hates them, as is the case with birdwatching, Zumba, Mako’s attempts to refine her sense of taste, and trying to follow professional wrestling. She does take to cross-stitching once she discovers it’s basically stabbing something until it’s art. Felting, too. Between that and cleaning she’s a delight when she and Minako are not grating against each other. Which is frequently, with them both taking up all these new hobbies. (When assigning rooms, Michiru thought ahead. Rei’s and Usagi’s are next to each other, at the end of the hall. They bicker as much as ever but everyone else can get distance when really needed.) Usagi is happy to be somewhere with all her dearest friends, all the time! She is VERY BAD at waiting patiently until everyone else’s Productive Hours are over, be they online classes and homework or painting or quietly stealing Mamoru’s abstract mosquito coil shirt and throwing it through the Gate of Time and into a void where it will never again darken their sight. (Pluto isn’t a monster, and replaces it with a similar but less incomprehensible white T-shirt with a pattern. Mamoru assumes this was Minako’s doing.) Artemis assigns himself as resident Blonde Disaster Watcher, while Chibiusa - currently visiting as a roughly 14-year-old, matching Hotaru - smugly points out that she’s handling quarantine just fine. This prompts a round of furious research by the rest of the house as to whether or not cats can drink alcohol. Haruka’s practically run down a path around the Sprawling Kaioh Estate on which the mansion sits. How can she angst gaily without a mission? Sure obviously staying home and keeping safe is the most important thing and she will do her part, but that’s not nearly dramatic enough to hate herself for if she decides she’s quarantining inadequately! Michiru decides the best thing for this is to take her, Usagi, and Minako and sit them all down with empty scrapbooks. Usagi and Haruka emerge after the pandemic with eighteen volumes of Important Friendship Scrapbooks. There’s an adorable doodle of them high-fiving on the title page of each one. They designed it themselves. Despite this all, quarantine does actually pass without any of them killing each other, though Haruka and Michiru do strongly consider sending the others to Hikawa Shrine instead. Grandpa Hino can manage all this energy. No one except Chibiusa thinks to ask how Hotaru’s doing. They forgot to check her room.  -- Regalli  [I know legit sadness in my Senshi Heart that I cannot see Haruka and Usagi’s scrapbooks with my own eyeballs. Loved this whole thing, but fucking Hotaru at the end hahahah]

~~~

*  It's all a matter of perspective. Mako and Ami will keep themselves consistently busy with cooking/baking, plant caregiving, reading, eating sandwiches, etc. Mako will eventually cave, after like, day 6 and there are 3 dozen scones, they lost count of cookies, and they've got frozen meals for weeks. Rei keeps telling her to stop cooking because she stumbled into Mako's apartment with armfuls of Here! Curry! and convenience store meals. Usagi is sooooo boooooored all the time and that's a dangerous combo with Minako being soooooo booooooored all the time. The Rube-Goldberg machines, the destruction, the pranks. More about Rei sadly as I know you don't particularly care for her at all whatsoever: she is a rollercoaster. Every day is too different but it's also always the same. Usagi is eating too much of her food but nobody else is eating enough. It won't go bad this way, but Usagi STOP I GOT THAT KIND OF CHIPS FOR ME. She finds some peace with Michiru who herself trying to keep a grasp on her ~*ara*~ ness but won't admit that by day four has been wanting out. "The girls are sweet" she convinces herself as she listens to another screaming match between Usagi and Rei while Minako snapchats everything. Haruka lost it by the second day, she can't stand not doing anything and not being in motion. At first this was channeled into doing small workouts that Mako sometimes participated in from a distance, but those have stopped. How long have you been laying on her floor today, Haruka? You gonna get up and have something to eat today Haruka? Hotaru and Chibs keep themselves busy with games and movies (Chibs and Usagi fight over the TV), Setsuna plays sometimes but is just happy to watch and enjoy these moments of peace. Chib's pride is on the line because she is getting bored by day 5 but she will not be sooooooo booooooored like Usagi. Mamoru begins to bring them all takeout by day 10 and slips Michiru a bottle of wine when she comes down, she is grateful, the label brings a tear to her eye, he knows good wine. Luna and Artemis are there. They sure are cats, and they can come and go if they want. They are envied. At some point they are all laying in the living room together. They don't know how long, someone's playlist is playing in the background. They don't care. It's the longest anyone has gone without talking. It's the one of the few times they've truly felt connected with one another as a team. Minako then asks, "If I ate myself, would I become twice as big or cease to exist?" It was nice while it lasted.  -- @thatonemoonie  [Every detail is divine, but oh my god Minako’s question at the end, THANK YOU.]

~~~

*  Michiru does not have enough wine and the Moon will pay for what she has endured. -- the Lord of the Sea  [Summing it up in the perfect single sentence, brilliant.]

~~~

*  It's Usagi's idea, really. Quarantine procedures are announced and she can't help but imagine what it will be like for all her friends. Minako, stuck with family she doesn't get along with. Ami's mom under even more stress as an essential worker, probably avoiding her daughter to keep her safe from the virus. Makoto, completely alone! Rei, probably regressing from not seeing other people! This cannot stand. Usagi has visions of Mako making gigantic family style meals and keeping things scrupulously clean. Ami contentedly petting Luna and Artemis and keeping them all up to date on how things are progressing. Minako livening the mood by driving Rei insane. And all is right in Usagi's world. It IS like that... sometimes. Being stuck together 24/7 has its ups and downs, and there has never been a situation as prolonged as this one. There are tense moments, and fights over silly things like toilet paper and Usagi running up the phone bill by calling Mamoru so often. It's cramped. Ami tries to keep them up on their distance learning, and checks temperatures daily. They try some disastrous DIYS and recipes when supplies get low. Usagi and Rei have an emotional moment when one night, she tries to secretly use Moon Healing Escalation on the city. In the end, they come through stronger than ever, like always. Just with a lot more appreciation for distance and personal space.  -- @yunyin  [All incredible, but you absolutely fucking GOT ME with Rei catching Usagi trying to heal the city, DELICIOUS ANGST]

---

I’ll be drawing for the bonus liveblog around the start of THE GIFTENING 2020 (currently looking to be Monday, 11 January 2021). Each bonus question is another chance to earn an entry! I CAN ABSOLUTELY AND SHAMELESSLY BE BOUGHT.

[everlarkficexchange]

I Choose You

Written by: @wendywobbles

Prompt 51: Katniss E, the Valedictorian of Panem High school, is perfect in all fields of life. And that is the crush of awkward, average in studies, not so popular, never had a girlfriend, often bullied Peeta M. Not only does she have a very popular friend circle but also a handsome, popular boyfriend Gale H. Will she even want to be his friend? Is his crush doomed to fail? Eventual Everlark) [submitted by @white-dandelion-seeds]

AN: I hope I did your prompt proud. The title comes from a Sara Bareilles song that I love.

——————————————-

Peeta Mellark walked quietly in the door and leaned against the wall at the school assembly. He hated these things. Being trapped here for an hour while Principal Trinket droned on and on about what was coming up in the next semester was hell.

They had just returned from their autumn break and Peeta was counting the days down until this last year of school was finished. His experience in Panem 12th Region school had been long, dull and miserable.

Not for the first time he wondered if his dad had lived how his life would have turned out. Would he have been a popular jock with lots of friends and confidence instead of a feeling like a ghost in these hallways? He hoped college would be different. As far as he knew none of the dicks from his year would be attending Capitol U.

He had no idea what Trinket was talking about but he became aware the second the speaker changed……Katniss Everdeen was at the podium and saying hello to everyone. Instantly he paid attention.

Katniss Everdeen was in Peeta Mellark’s eyes the most perfect woman to ever walk the earth. She had long dark hair, clear olive skin and grey eyes.

She was a distance runner for the Panem 12th Region Athletics team. She trained hard , Peeta knew this because he had often seen her running in the early hours of the morning when it was his early shift at the Bakery or sometimes he would see her on the trails when he was out running she always had a smile and wave for him as they passed.

Her grades were always high, again Peeta knew this was down to hard work and not just luck.

Sometimes he would see her at the library when he was hiding out avoiding Cato and the other Jays and his maths whizz brother Leon had been tutoring her since last year.

She has a quiet confidence, and strength that just drew people to her and had a wide circle of friends but would make time for everyone whether it was a quick hello or a longer more in-depth chat. It was no wonder when she ran for student council she was elected president.

With a confident smile the object of Peeta’s affection began to speak

“Hi all! Hope everyone had a wonderful break, I know I did. Principal Trinket has given me a few minutes of the assembly today to talk about our Winter Formal. This year we are looking to do something a bit different and we are hoping that you guys will help us come up with a theme. This is the last 12th Region dance some of us will attend and we would love to make this something a bit special, but right now our ideas aren’t hitting the mark and I know that there are so many talented and creative individuals here so we’d love to hear from you.”

She looked behind her and Annie Cresta, her Vice President, handed her a cardboard box covered in silver paper. She held it up for all to see

“Okay, I know this probably looks a bit basic but this box will be left in library until next Friday. If you have an idea put it in. We will then post the suggestions online and then we can vote for our favourite. Easy right? I can’t wait to see what people come up with.”

“Thanks for listening and don’t forget Friday is the big Game against D13’s Coin Cavaliers and once again the 12th Region’s very own Mockingjays are out to destroy them. Show you school spirit by wearing black and orange. Go Jays!”

All around Peeta students began to cheer, he just rolled his eyes and slipped quietly away.

*********

For the rest of the day school was buzzing with excitement for the game and Katniss announcement. Peeta was glad when his final class was over and headed to his locker to collect his bag.

“Hey Bread Boy” called Johanna Mason, a short shaved head girl that somehow had become one of Peeta’s closest and dearest friends

“Yes Jo?”

“So are you making any suggestions for the Winter Formal? I’ve got mine in – Roller Disco with night vision goggles. Great, huh?”

“Seriously Jo? I mean while I can certainly appreciate the theme, how exactly would a person fund all those glasses……” he smiled.

“I’m the ideas woman, the reality is her ladyship and her minions area of work…speaking of which. Anyway I gotta go, see you later handsome “ and with that Jo sprinted away.

Peeta looked up and saw Katniss Everdeen walking down the corridor. She was carrying an armful of books, a bag and a bottle of water, had an apple wedged in her mouth and her shoe lace was beginning to open on her ever present black Cons. Peeta was thinking how this looked like an accident waiting to happen when Katniss reached up to take the apple out of her mouth, stepped on her now undone shoe lace and tripped herself up sending everything flying.

“Katniss! Oh my god are you okay?” Peeta was by her side in a flash and quickly helped her right herself.

Surprisingly she burst out laughing “Oh my god! I can’t believe that just happened. Thanks Peeta, I’m ok.” He started to help her pick up her stuff when Gale Hawthorne appeared.

“Katniss? What happened? You ok?” concern was all over his features.

“Fine, fine I tripped Peeta was just helping me collect my stuff.”

Gale nodded but proceeded to take the books Peeta had in his arms “Well I’m here now. Mellark you can …go do whatever it is you do. I got this.”

Peeta felt his face flame but kept his mouth shut previous experience had thought him that answering back to people like Gale usually ended up badly for people like Peeta.

“Sure. Whatever” he mumbled and moved to step away.

Katniss meanwhile shot Gale a glance that would have felled a lesser man, but Peeta imagined as Katniss’ boyfriend Gale was probably used to her looks so he just ignored her.(Imagine being able to ignore Katniss thought Peeta)

“Thanks again Peeta. Hey before you go, do you have the details of the English assignment? I can’t find where I wrote it down.”

“Sure, hold on” Peeta rummaged in his backpack and pulled out a notebook. He pulled out a sheet and copied the details onto the paper for her.

“Ummm here you go” he said handing it over.

“Katniss? Are you ready I’ll carry this stuff to your car” huffed Gale.

“Go ahead I’ll be right there. I just want to check something with Peeta” She called without looking at Gale.

“I’ll wait.”

“Dunderhead” muttered Katniss under her breath so that only Peeta could hear her, keeping her voice low she began to speak “Um I was wondering if you were going to submit any ideas for the dance. When we were kids I remember you always had a great imagination.”

Peeta blinked and stared and Katniss “Um no. I don’t….I mean I’m not interested in that kinda thing you know. I’ve never even been to a school dance.”

“Oh…right. Sorry I just, I guess I’ll see you in class or something.” Katniss seemed embarrassed and Peeta wanted to die. This was how he spoke to the girl of his dreams….Leon was right he was an idiot.

As she turned to walk away he called after her “Wait! I may not have an idea but um I’m pretty good at art and design maybe,I mean if you needed it, I could help you guys work on pulling it altogether?” he rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

“That would be fantastic! I know you’re headed to Capitol U next year to begin a Fine Art Degree so absolutely we would love your help.” Katniss smile was a mile wide as she said all this.

“Ok. Well keep me posted. Oh and Katniss you should probably tie your shoelace” Peeta smiled and her and began to walk away. It was only as he turned the corner he realised something. He had never mentioned getting into Capitol U …how had Katniss known that?

********

“So what did you need from Mellark?” asked Gale.

“Gale you were standing right there when I was talking to him - English homework and he’s offered to help with the dance.” said Katniss taking her bag from Gale. She reached down to grab the apple that she dropped and popped it in a bin as she walked by.

“Help how? Loser never goes to anything school related.”

“So? What has that got to do with anything? And he’s not a loser. Look Gale we need help with this dance and I’m happy to have someone like Peeta come on board-“

Gale cut her off “ Ooh I get it now, you get the nerdy runt to do all the work and you take the credit.”

“Shut up Gale. When have I EVER treated anyone like that? I can’t believe you would even think I would do that.”

“Oh relax, it’s High School not the real world.”

Sometimes Katniss goody two shoes attitude really annoyed Gale. Kill or be killed that was Gale’s motto(not literally of course) but sometimes you had to be ruthless on and off the field.

“Let me make it up too you… how about a movie?”

“Can’t I have to get home to help dad. I’ll round up the gang maybe we can all go see something on Saturday?”

Frustrated Gale rolled his eyes before responding “Katniss I meant …..”

Katniss knew exactly what he meant and after going out a few times two years ago, Katniss wasn’t going down that road again, Gale however still thought they were perfect for each other and was always trying to get her to agree to a date.

Katniss blundered on pretending not to have heard him “It’ll be a fun way for everyone to relax after Friday’s game. I’ll text everyone later unless you want to do it?”

Gale clenched his jaw frustrated at Katniss he wanted to say something more when his phone rang. It was Cato.

“I’m late for practice. Talk to you later” and Gale took off running towards the sports field.

A grateful Katniss watched Gale sprint away, glad of the reprieve from his hints and outright declarations that they would make the perfect couple.

She hopped into her car and got ready to head home, when out of the corner of her eye she saw the hunched figure of Peeta Mellark walking out and heading towards town, she watched him til he was out of sight.

There was something about Peeta that made Katniss want to get to know him better but the blue eyed blond boy kept himself to himself. She had has crush on him since the first day of school when he drew her a picture of her teddy bear.

She smiled recalling how upset she was being separated from her bear and was missing him something terrible on her first day. Seeing her tears Peeta had marched up to her pencil in hand and asked her what he looked like and under her guidance had drawn a pretty good depiction of Snowball Abernathy.

Katniss still had the drawing; her dad had laminated it years go and she used it as book mark. The bear was also still knocking around, slightly bedraggled, more grey then white these day but still loved.

She sighed remembering a time when they were younger and Peeta was much more open. It all changed when his dad died though he seemed to retreat from childhood.

********

Katniss knew from Peeta’s older brother Leon that it hadn’t been easy after Mr M had died.

She had met Leon when her parents hired him to help her with her maths. Leon was like a skinnier less good looking Peeta. He was in college locally hoping to be a teacher and he loved maths and tutored a few kids.

As Katniss and he worked together they became more friendly.He was kind and funny and talkative.

When Katniss got accepted to Capitol U to study Engineering she was overjoyed and then Leon told her Peeta had been accepted to CU too.

“That’s amazing! What program? I wonder if we’ll run into each other. That would be cool.” Katniss gushed. She was practically vibrating at this piece of news.

And had completely forgotten who she was talking too. She couldn’t stop the blush that crept up her face.

Leon felt a grin spreading over his face “Careful Everdeen or I might think you have a crush on my baby brother……oh my god you do!!!”

That was a few weeks ago and Leon kept encouraging her to talk to Peeta and teasing her that if she let the year pass without saying anything he would tell Peeta before graduation.

Katniss knew though her secret was safe. Leon was very protective of Peeta, and from what Leon had told her-and what she knew from the past herself and gossip- the death of Mr Mellark had hit the whole family hard.

The oldest Mellark brother Sean had taken over running the place full time (this had always been the plan but the death of Sean Snr meant things moved a lot quicker). He quit full time college and moved home.

Leon and Peeta helped out but right after her husband died Mrs Mellark seemed to “disappear” leaving Sean 20, Leon 16 and Peeta 13 to carry on.

The older boys tried to stay on top of everything.- the house, the business, school even dealing with their mom- but their home life was chaotic following in the weeks following their fathers death.

It was a lot to cope with, and they tried to do it all without any help - scared that if they let people know what was going on their family would be further torn apart.

Katniss remembered when Peeta came to school in the same hoodie for 5 days –not really a big deal but Cato Snow grabbed this and began to tease Peeta.

“Hey Smellark. Don’t you have any CLEAN clothes?”

His goons soon joined in for weeks whenever they could get Peeta alone they went at him, they pushed him, squirted hand sanitizer on him, threw water on him.

Some of the other kids tried to tell Cato to stop but no one wanted to make themselves a target so most just ignored what was going on. Katniss did too, and the memory still pained her.

It all came to a head one Monday afternoon Peeta finally snapped and swung at Cato. Peeta may have been quiet and smaller then the others but in the past number of weeks a fire had raged in him.

This particular Monday Cato had decided that Peeta needed a hair cut and got Tom Marvel and Derek Blight to hold him down and started to hack at Peeta’s hair.

It was the final straw for Peeta, to this day no one knows exactly how he did it but Peeta got loose and punched Cato busting his nose, the sight of the blood caused Marvel to flee. Blight wasn’t quick enough and Peeta managed to leave him with a black eye. Peeta picked up his bag and left the school vowing to never return.

While this was going on, an anonymous tip off was left with a children’s care charity begging them to check on the Mellark’s. A young case worker Finnick Odair took the call and hearing how distressed the girl in the end of the call was decided to make a house call.

He met a shaken, tattered Peeta at the house on the front step.

“Hey kid? You ok?”

And for the first time since his dad died and the bullying began Peeta cried and his story just tumbled out

Finnick met with the rest of the family. Mrs. Mellark was very obviously depressed, the boys were grieving but had no time to process everything that was happening as they desperately tried to keep things going. A decision was made to contact Mrs Mellark mother, Sae.

She arrived in a day and scolded her grandsons for not calling her sooner and hugged the life out of them.

She sought out her daughter and held her close as she wept and wept.

Then the five of them sat on the sofa together and Sae told Finnick she was sticking around for as long as was needed and he helped her to find the help her family needed.

Peeta however refused to talk about what had happened and wouldn’t confirm the bullying. He hoped by keeping his mouth shut Cato would leave him alone. (It hadn’t. Although Cato no longer actively sought him out he still tormented him)

When Peeta returned to school a few days later people seemed to give him a wide berth the story of his Hulk like anger had scared people. It made him sad.

When he went to his locker he found a bag there and inside was a paper dandelion, a packet of coloring pencils and notebook.

Peeta was confused and wary but the yellow flower was the first thing he remembered seeing in color; since his dad died life had just been grey. He smiled, just a small one but somehow this flower made him feel something he hadn’t felt in a long time -hope.

********

On Friday the school was buzzing. Peeta had on a black tee shirt and orange cons showing his school spirit.

He had noticed Katniss that morning in her black skinny jeans, a Jays orange jersey, black oversized cardigan, in her braided hair there was an orange ribbon and on her feet a pair of orange cons. He smiled when he saw them.

He was just slipping to class when she called him

“Hey Peeta! Look we’re foot twins.” She bounded over to him and stood toe to toe with him. His heart was pounding.

She pulled out her phone “Can I take a picture?” and she aimed her camera down before clicking a few snaps.

“I think yours look better” she smiled and looked up at him, suddenly aware how close she was to him.

“I’m sorry Peeta I’m such and space invader” she stepped back “like I was saying yours look better, they have that lived in Cons look, mine are brand new they need breaking in. I’m gonna put this on Instagram, want me to tag you?”

“Why? Why would you tag me? I mean we’re not exactly friends, besides I don’t think Gale or his friends would appreciate any part of me appearing on your feed. I have to go Katniss.” Peeta smiled sadly and walked away.

Katniss couldn’t understand what she had said or done but she quickly deleted the post.

********

When the dance committee opened the silver box they found a good deal of papers, half though were filled with utter rubbish- crude drawing, bits of gum wrapped in the paper and some downright dangerous suggestions -roller skating with night vision goggles???

The most surprising thing was that even though the students had been given free reign most were standard dance ideas. According to Delly Cartwright this was because despite claims to want to express themselves and be individuals most teenagers just wanted to blend in and follow the herd, and in the end there were only five familiar themes to choose from.

1. Winter Wonderland/Snow Ball /Yule Ball

2. Once Upon a Time(Fairytales and stories)

3. Enchanted Forest or Magical Garden

4. Candy land

5. Masquerade Ball

Students were just handed a ballot paper and asked to vote for their favourite and with the result revealed at the following weeks assembly.

The winning theme in the end was the Enchanted Forest, and Katniss was secretly thrilled. Now the theme was picked it was time for the hard work to begin, and time to see if Peeta was ready to join the dance committee.

********

Peeta and Jo were sitting on one of the benches outside the school when Katniss walked over.

“Hey” she called

Peeta waved, Jo gave a nod.

“Peeta, if that offer to help out with the dance is still on the table the dance committee is meeting tomorrow after school to get things moving. I was wondering if you’d like to come along and get an idea of budget, how we can pull off the theme and if we can actually make something out of nothing” Katniss joked.

“I don’t know Katniss-“ but before he could finish Jo interrupted

“He’ll be there. What time and can I help too? My dad owns the forest out past Turn 4. He might be able to help with some stuff for decoration.”

“Ok, well we be in Room 17 from about 4 pm and Jo it would be great to have more help. I’ll leave you guys to it then. Bye”

As she walked away she missed the glare Peeta threw at Jo and the grin that spread across her face.

“What? You have been crazy about her for years. Now’s you chance to woo her” grinned Jo

“She has a scary boyfriend or did you forget that? A boyfriend who has no issue with beating a guy like me and might I add he has the connections to dispose of me where no one can find me.” He muttered darkly

“I dunno I know what people say but, I don’t think they are a couple….. anyway never mind that it’ll be at least one fun memory we’ll have of going to this place before we head to Capitol.”

********

Over the next few weeks Peeta’s life and routine took on a different one. The initial meeting of the dance committee had been nerve wracking but the other members, along with Katniss made him and Jo feel very welcome.

Peeta was wary at first but there was no punchline, he wasn’t a joke to anyone and surprisingly he started to enjoy the meetings.

The other members Annie Cresta, Thom Dalton, Brian Turner or Beetee as he was known, Delly Cartwright and Cecelia Hubert were a mixed but fun group.

“Hey Peeta, can you take a look at this?” Katniss called

“What’s up?” he asked.

“This…. I think I did it wrong…..it looks..” they two of them tilted their heads looking at the mess in front of them Katniss was supposed to be making centre pieces from twigs adorned with lights, and flowers.

“I think you’ve glued things on upside down, it’s okay we’ll fix it” he tried not to laugh. Katniss was the least crafty person he had ever met.

“I like the arch way, you’ve made it look really spectacular, it will make the entrance look so special. You have really helped us to set the theme, you and Jo.”

“Well you know us art nerds” Peeta mumbled as he undid some of Katniss handiwork.

“I don’t….but I’d like too” Katniss whispered in a low voice.

Peeta didn’t dare to look at her but kept going with what he was doing. He wasn’t sure what to say. He took a deep breath and prepared to ask her what she meant when suddenly the door burst open and there stood Gale, Cato and the other Jays players.

Gale was wearing what looked like doctors scrubs while the others were dressed in tacky sexy nurse outfits that no nurse in their right mind could wear and work in.

“Hey Katniss”

Peeta would swear he felt Katniss stiffen beside him, then she took a deep breath and turned to look(along with the rest of the room)

Gale unravelled his sign which said “I’m no doctor but it appears you’re suffering from DATELESSNESS. My suggestion is…..” meanwhile the rest held up signs that read “A date with Gale?” And “What more could you want?” And “A dose of Vitamin G!”

“No!” she shouted and the laughter and shouts of the Jays stopped.

“Just no! I told you this last night, the night before. You NEVER listen to me? I don’t want to date you or even go to the dance with you. I’ve tried being polite but it’s gotten me no where, please leave me alone and stop this. I’m not your girlfriend. I don’t want to be. Just stop”

“You selfish b-“ Gale started towards Katniss but Peeta stepped in front of her.

“I wouldn’t take another step or utter another word Hawthorne. Just take your guys and go. Or would you like me to call Miss Trinket?” Peeta’s voice was low and calm. Thom and Beetee had stood up too and walked towards Katniss and Peeta.

“Or what Smellark?” spat Gale.

“Funny, real funny but I think after 4 years you guys could have gotten a bit more creative with your insults. Cato, why don’t you take Gale and the guys and leave. Katniss has refused Gale’s offer, there is nothing else to be said.”

In the crowd of guys a few looked angry but others just looked confused about what had gone on. Had Gale really been hassling Katniss? He made it sound like she had wanted this big fuss but what if she hadn’t? The team started to move away and soon the room was cleared.

“Umm thanks guys…now where were we?”

“Hey Everdeen, I thought that guy was your boyfriend?” asked Jo confused by what had happened.

“Nope. Never was, never will be. He’s never been my type” Katniss smiled

“Interesting…..and would you type maybe be a little less male perhaps?” teased Jo much to the amusement of the others

“Sorry Jo, I’m not into girls, but I do know that Delly happens to think you are real cute.” And with a shocked squeak from Delly the whole committee burst into giggles.

Once everyone had settled down Katniss walked over to Peeta.

“Hey Peeta? Thanks for what you did for me with Gale. I don’t know why he has to act like that you know?”

“Katniss it’s ok really. I’ll walk you to your car after we’re done here if you want? In case he’s still around.”

“Thanks, but I should be ok. Right I better get these to Annie.” She nodded her head at the closed box in her hands that she had picked up from somewhere.

“What’s in it?

“Flowers! I may not be much good at making centerpieces but if you need a paper flower I’m your girl” she grinned as she said this “open the box and have a look.”

Peeta’s stomach dropped when he opened the box there were daisies, roses and right at the top yellow dandelions like the one given to him all those years ago.

“Peeta? Are you ok?” a worried Katniss asked.

“Yeah. Sorry just zoned out. These are really pretty. I better get back to the trees.”

Peeta worked quietly for rest of the hour to trying to figure out why Katniss had given him the flower all those years ago and the pencils and notebook which became his companions. In the notebook he drew his fears, his hopes covering every page and when it was full his mom bought him a new one. Even now he always had a notebook in his bag.

“Peeta? Can I give you a lift home?” asked Katniss Peeta startled at her voice he looked around and was slightly shocked to see they were the last people there. He hadn’t heard the others leave.

“Ok.” He shrugged and gathered up his stuff.

“Katniss? Can I ask you something?” Peeta was nervous but he needed to know why she did what she did.

“Sure.” She nodded

“After…. the Cato incident there was a paper flower and art stuff left in my locker. Did you do that?”

He watched her hands tighten around the steering wheel and she took a deep breath before she answered.

“Yes. I just wanted to give you something nice you know. Those guys were so mean and the rest of us should’ve done more, told the teachers. I watched you almost disappear and I hated that the light in your eyes dimmed so much. Your family was going through so much.”

“You were just a kid Katniss,it’s ok. Really. We got help. As a family we’ve survived. What else could you have done?” He reached over and put his hand on hers, it was awkward in the car but he wanted -no needed- her to know that he was ok.

“Your flower gave me hope, gave my life some color at a time when I had none. Thank you for seeing me, at a time when I felt no one did.”

“I always saw you Peeta.” She was looking at him now Peeta wanted to look away her gaze was almost too intense.

“You’re a painter. You’re a baker. You like to sleep with the windows open. You are the noisiest walker I have ever heard. And you always double-knot your shoelaces.”

“I know these things because I’ve always watched you and yes I know that’s crazy and I sound like a stalker but I need you to know this because we’re going away to college soon and I would like to at least be your friend but what I really want is to know you better and Leon knows and he told me that if I didn’t tell you I liked you he would.”

“Slow down… what?”

“I like you. A lot. Your stupid brother found out and has been teasing me. He said he would tell you before I could especially since we’re going to be at the same college next year. If you just want a friend that’s fine but I would really like to go on a date so you could get to know me…. and then…..well who knows….”

“Okay.”

“Okay like let’s go on a date or like I’m going to get out of car and run away?”

“The first one.”

**********

And so they had their first date 2 nights later.

And their first kiss that night too.

Peeta asked Katniss to be his girlfriend on their third date.

They went to their dance together and danced under the canopy of trees and flowers they had helped create.

They had their first fight when Peeta struggled to understand what a girl like Katniss saw in him. He questioned why? He kept expecting things to fall apart and doubted what they had was real.

Eventually his mom took him aside and told him that his problems were bigger then him and a professional would be better placed to help him.

“You deserve happiness Peeta,let us help you find it.”

He started seeing Dr Aurelius with Katniss, his family and friends supporting him every step of the way.

He told Katniss he loved her one evening when they were in her parent’s house. They were watching a stupid movie and she was laughing. He watched her eyes crinkle, her chuckles ringing in the air as she sat there in a panda onesie and he blurted it out.

She smiled at him and throwing her arms around his neck she told him the same, placing tiny kisses all over his face.

And then they graduated. The one person who didn’t was Cato Snow who was expelled following a positive drug test and several reports of bullying.

Gale never spoke to Katniss again.

A few of the Mockingjays team had apologized for their part in the dance proposal telling Katniss they had believed Gale when he told them that it was her idea.

Neither wanted to go to the end of year dance, instead they went with some of their friends to a small cabin by a lake and had a quiet celebration.

And later, in the quiet of the night after they had spent time having their own private celebration. Katniss sang to Peeta

Let the bough break, let it come down crashing

Let the sun fade out to a dark sky

I can’t say I’d even notice it was absent

‘Cause I could live by the light in your eyes

I’ll unfold before you

Would have strung together

The very first words of a lifelong love letter

Tell the world that we finally got it all right

I choose you

I will become yours and you will become mine

I choose you

I choose you, yeah

There was a time when I would have believed them

If they told me that you could not come true

Just love’s illusion

But then you found me

And everything changed

And I believe in something again

My whole heart

Will be yours forever

This is a beautiful start

To a lifelong love letter

Tell the world that we finally got it all right

I choose You

I will become yours and you will become mine

I choose You

I choose You

We are not perfect we’ll learn from our mistakes

And as long as it takes I will prove my love to you

I am not scared of the elements I am underprepared,

But I am willing

And even better

I get to be the other half of you

Tell the world that we finally got it all right

I choose You, yeah

I will become yours and you will become mine

I choose You

I choose You

I choose You

She had just finished and Peeta was about to say something when Johanna shouted.

“Seriously?? It was bad enough listening to you two screwing each other senseless now I have to hear you sing?! Keep this up and you’ll have to find a new roommate!”

After their laughter subsided Peeta turned to Katniss and whispering quietly he said.

“I choose you too. Always.”

[finalfantasyandnerdiness]

da capo al fine

For eternal beings, the ebbs and flows of time mean very little. Whatever happens, the world will keep moving forward, and so will they. No end. No beginning. For a human, though? Every second counts.

Every word.

Every decision.

A mortal with the power to turn back time is a fearsome creature, because a mortal cares – and if they decide that they’re going to find a timeline where everyone they love survives, they will do whatever it takes to make it happen. Even if it means abusing a power that was never meant to be theirs.

A Fire Emblem Three Houses retelling where everybody lives, basically. Also: Dimileth. 

Read on Ao3

For eternal beings, the ebbs and flows of time mean very little. Whatever happens, the world will keep moving forward, and so will they. No end. No beginning. For a human, though? Every second counts.

Every word.

Every decision.

A mortal with the power to turn back time is a fearsome creature, because a mortal cares – and if they decide that they’re going to find a timeline where everyone they love survives, they will do whatever it takes to make it happen. Even if it means abusing a power that was never meant to be theirs.

*

“You. How long do you intend to sleep?”

Byleth opens her eyes. A young girl she vaguely recognizes stares down at her from a throne of stone. Her eyes, as eerily green as her hair, are expectant and clearly annoyed.

Where am I? Byleth shakes her head in an attempt to clear the cobwebs clouding her mind. Who am I?

“Get on your feet. Right now!” the girl snaps. “You are just like a child, always needing me to hold your hand…” She sighs. “This is the last time, you hear me? No more restarts. This is it.”

Byleth has no idea what any of it means, but she still nods.

The girl’s face softens. “Make it count.”

*

The first seconds are always the worst. Byleth never gets used to those terrifying moments where her entire being is a blank slate. She knows she’s supposed to recognize the bearded man in front of her, but he could just as well have been a complete stranger. Then, it clicks. Everything falls into place. He’s her father. She’s a mercenary. And, most importantly, she’s been here before.

*

Even though most of Byleth’s memories are blurry, the ones about the three heirs are always crystal clear. One look is all it takes to remember their tragic fates. Blue eyes, full of barely restrained hatred. Green eyes, sharp as a blade. Violet eyes, burning with determination. Three young rulers, destined to tear each other apart.

Not this time. Byleth looks at them, one by one, treasuring the innocence they will all inevitably lose. She’s lived through this chain of events more times than she can remember, getting closer and closer to her goal just to see a seemingly insignificant detail turn her dream to dust. Not this time, though. Sothis has given her one last chance, and she won’t let it go to waste.

This time, they will all live.  

*

To the boys’ obvious disappointment, Byleth chooses to join the house of the Black Eagles. The three heirs are all suspicious by nature, but Edelgard easily takes the crown. Edelgard trusts no one but herself, which isn’t that surprising considering her only experience with friendship comes from a man who can’t get through a single sentence without mentioning blood. She’s hidden her heart away behind walls as impenetrable as her armor, doing her best to smother the fear and loneliness that lures within her. To bring the true Edelgard out of her shell takes time. Lots, and lots of time. So Byleth picks the Black Eagles, and tries not to notice the flash of darkness in Dimtri’s eyes.

*

Dimitri is young. So very young. He’s yet to grow into the inhuman strength he’ll one day wield with ease, still grinning awkwardly every time he accidentally breaks another training sword. He’s a prince, charming and polite, the definition of picture perfect. No one has any idea what hides behind that flawless smile.

Yet.

Byleth sees the way he looks at her, how his gaze lingers when she swings her blade on the training grounds. Their eyes meet. Her body instinctively reacts, but she forces herself to ignore it. Chronologically, he’s only three years younger than her, but he’s still a kid. Her conflicted heart, however, still remembers the king.

Her life would have been so much easier if she hadn’t fallen in love with him all those lifetimes ago. He forgets. She doesn’t.

*

Before Garreg Mach, Byleth used to think of herself as a fairly unemotional person. People called her the Ashen Demon for a reason. She didn’t really get people, and people didn’t really get her either. Then, she met her students, and everything changed. Now, she cares a lot, and it’s more tiring than she ever could have imagined.

“There we go again,” she mutters to herself as she watches Raphael and Caspar race through the courtyard, up to goddess knows what. She loves them both with all her heart, but critical thinking is not one of their virtues. To be frank, neither is thinking, period. She sighs and hurries after them. She has no idea what they’re going to break this time—a plate, a nose, a window—but they’re definitely breaking something.

*

Byleth has just left her private quarters to head to class when she nearly crashes into Seteth.

“Professor. There’s an… issue, we need to talk about.”

Of course there is. She sighs internally. Sometimes, she wishes she could just skip past certain conversations. She’s gone through this particular one so many times by now that she practically knows every line by heart.

Seteth clears his throat. “Due to your unexpectedly extraordinary tutoring skills, nearly all of this year’s students have requested to transfer to your class. While the feat in itself is admirable, it has led to some unfortunate consequences. Hanneman and Manuela now only share four students between them, and I’ve heard that your classroom is running out of desks. It’s not a very efficient way to run a school.”

“I agree.”

Seteth blinks in surprise. “You do?”

She nods. “I’ve given it some thought, and I think the best solution would be to separate the professors from their assigned houses.”

“That’s a preposterous—”

“The houses themselves would remain, of course,” she quickly adds. “I only propose that we rethink the way we hold our classes. The three of us have different areas of expertise, and we could use that to our advantage if we split up the classes by subject instead of houses.”

“I see.” Seteth hesitates, furrowing his brow. “It’s an unorthodox idea, but… I do see the benefits of your proposal. It could be… efficient. I will get back to you once I have discussed this with Rhea.”

Byleth nods again. Rhea will, albeit reluctantly, say yes, because when Seteth finds something that can be described as efficient, he will make it happen. The classes will be split up between the three professors, and Byleth will get the chance to tutor all the students – including those stubborn last four.

She’s not losing them again.

*

At the night of the ball, Byleth makes sure that it’s the students of the Blue Lions house who make the promise to reunite in five years. Their carefree laughter makes her stomach turn. They have no idea what fate she’s just bound them to.

Dimitri’s smile hurts the most, but she goes through with it anyway. She needs him to be there when she wakes up.

*

Even though Byleth knows it’s hopeless, she still always tries to save Jeralt.

Losing him never stops hurting.

*

“Thanks for letting me borrow your old man’s diary, Teach,” Claude says.

Byleth snatches the notebook out of his hands. “You would have stolen it anyway if I’d said no.”

“Me? Stealing?” He grins, placing a hand on his chest. “Your lack of faith in my moral compass wounds me.”

Byleth raises her eyebrows.

Claude sighs, his façade flickering. “All joking aside, I have to admit that some of the stuff in there is pretty hard to swallow – especially the parts about you. I’ve got so many questions, and I doubt you’ll ever answer a single one of them.” His eyes twinkle. “You sure know how to drive a guy crazy, Teach.”

Byleth shrugs. His obvious frustration doesn’t bother her – not anymore. He’ll eventually figure everything out anyway, with or without her answers. He just doesn’t know it yet.

*

She loves all her students. She really does. But sometimes, she can’t help but think that if Ferdinand yells out his name one more time, she’s going to strangle him.

*

“It’s not my place to question your way of tutoring, but I do feel the need ask you about the attendance record of one of your students,” Seteth says. “Linhardt von Hevring has been absent from nearly half of your classes this month, and I’ve noticed a lack of disciplinary actions. I would recommend stable duty or—”

“He’s doing important research,” Byleth interrupts. “As long as he keeps passing his tests, I don’t see any reason not to encourage it.”

“Well… I suppose I will have to trust your judgment, Professor.” Judging by his frown, he’s clearly not trusting it at all.  

Byleth nods. She doesn’t blame Seteth for being skeptical. She would probably have doubted Linhardt too if she hadn’t known just how important that research would be to give some of her students a chance to grow old.

*

While the inferno of hatred that sometimes flares up in Dimitri’s eyes is undeniably terrifying, it doesn’t scare Byleth nearly as much as the cold apathy in Rhea’s.

*

A high-pitched shriek echoes over the monastery. People start looking for its source with obvious concern, but Byleth just smiles a little to herself. The boys of the Black Eagles house always figure out sooner or later that the only way to get Bernie out of her comfort zone is to literally carry her out of it.

*

Every now and then, Byleth slips. She tries to keep everything in the right order, to remember what she’s supposed to know and what’s yet to be revealed, but her memory is far from infallible. Most of the time, no one mentions her little accidents. She’s a strategist, after all. Predicting things is a part of her job description. Some slips, though, are too obvious to go unnoticed.

“Professor… Did you just call me El?”

Byleth groans internally. Yes, she most certainly did. It’s late, she’s tired, and she just casually used a nickname the heiress would never, ever, share with a professor she barely knows.    

“No one has called me that since I was a kid. Those who once did are long gone.” Edelgard’s eyes narrow. “How did you know?”

“My apologies,” Byleth says. “I just thought it suited you. I won’t use it again.”

“No… I quite like it.” While the suspicion still lingers in Edelgard’s gaze, a small smile graces her lips. “Please, keep calling me El. I’m not sure why, but I enjoyed hearing you say it.”

Byleth nods. “If that’s the case, I will.”

“Good.” A hint of shyness sweeps over the future emperor’s face. “Thank you, my teacher. It may not seem like much, but it means a lot to me.”

The next time Byleth uses that name, it’s not by accident.

*

Felix’ digs at Dimitri are as sharp as his blade, and so is the resentment in eyes. Dimitri takes the insults without blinking. Their friendship is laced with a burning hatred they both believe is justified. It’s painful to watch, especially considering how easily the swordsman would give his life to protect his childhood friend. He never hesitates. Not even once.

*

“You fool! What were you thinking, charging right into an enemy’s trap? Again?” Sothis’ sharp voice echoes against the stone walls. “Are you just a boulder rolling down whatever hill it’s on? No, even a boulder has more sense!”

Byleth lowers her eyes. Her least favorite part of the cycles may be the first awakening, but this is the one Sothis dreads the most. Not surprising, considering that this is where the goddess has to disappear. It’s inevitable, though, even if she doesn’t run head first into Solon’s spell. Sooner or later they always end up here, facing the same decision over and over again. Sothis always makes the same choice.

“Thank you,” Byleth whispers. “For everything.”

Byleth reaches out her hand, and the power of the goddess seeps into her soul.  

*

Callused hands gently stroke her bangs out of her face. Her consciousness is fading, but she doesn’t need to see to know whose hand it is. She would recognize that touch anywhere.

“Sorry, Professor,” Dimitri says. “I have no choice but to carry you back.”

*

Byleth raises her eyebrows as Sylvain limps into the training grounds. “Ingrid?”

“Yes.” He awkwardly scratches the back of his head.

“Did you deserve it?”

After a moment of hesitation, he sighs. “Yes.”

*

The sight of Edelgard’s coronation is as breathtaking as it is terrifying. The ceremony marks the beginning of a nationwide bloodbath, but Byleth still can’t look away from the blinding beauty that is Emperor Edelgard with a golden crown on her head.

*

A cacophony of rattling armor and frantic prayers fills the monastery. The moment Byleth hoped to avoid is once again taking place before her eyes. She leans against the railing of the third floor balcony. In the distance she sees Edelgard’s army gathering, preparing for the first battle of the war that will tear Fódlan apart.  

It can’t be stopped now. It’s too late. Byleth’s time ran out the moment Edelgard’s betrayal set Dimitri’s dormant fury aflame. The war is happening. Her only option now is damage control.

“Hey, Teach.”

Byleth flinches. Even after countless cycles of nearly identical events, she’s still caught off guard every now and then – especially when Claude is involved. He’s turned unpredictability into an artform.  

Claude moves to her side. His calculating eyes roam over the area below. His expression and posture radiate confidence, but his desperate grip on the railing has already turned his knuckles white.

“It can’t be stopped now,” he says, echoing Byleth’s thoughts. “Neither of those two will ever allow the other to live. There’s going to be a war, and it’s not going to be pretty.”

“So much death.” Byleth’s voice cracks. She’s seen it happen before, and now she’s going to have to see it again. She knew, but she still couldn’t stop it.

“You don’t have to go down with them, you know.” Claude sends her a quick glance before turning back to the soon-to-be battlefield. “This is their feud, not yours. I mean, just consider it. Someone’s got to protect the people in this mess, and that someone could definitely use that strategic brain of yours.”

“And in this scenario, that ‘someone’ is you?”

“If the shoe fits.” Claude shrugs. “I don’t care about who wins this war. I have a vision, and that vision would be pretty useless if there was no one left in Fódlan to see it. What do you say? Have I won you over yet?” A grin tugs at his lips. “You’d make a good Deer.”

She would.

She has.

She shook her head. “I can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?” He tilts his head to the side. “Too fond of the kinglinesses, eh?”

She hesitates for a moment before deciding to, for once, tell the truth. “You’ll survive this war, with or without my guidance. You don’t need me. Not like they do.”

“Careful there, Teach. You’re starting to sound like you can predict the future.” His gaze sharpens. “Did you know that the Battle of the Eagle and Lion still keeps me up at night? I go over every move I made, every detail of my strategy, and how you managed to see through it all. It’s been driving me crazy – crazy enough to consider the possibility of you being some kind of mind reader. But that’s not it, is it?” He gives her a dangerous grin that almost reaches his eyes. “Come on, Teach, give a curious guy some peace of mind. I don’t kiss and tell.”

“If I told you, you’d never let me go.”

Her words clearly catch Claude off guard, which is a sight very few ever get to witness. For a moment he looks like he’s going to jokingly deny her claim, but in the end he just sighs. “I’d use you.”

She nodded. “And you’d end up hating yourself for it.”

“Fair enough.”

Claude studies her face, the cogs of his brilliant mind turning. His charming trickster façade flickers, revealing a taste of the unstoppable man he will one day become. “Let’s say you’re right, Teach. Maybe I don’t need you by my side to make my vision come true. Doesn’t mean I don’t want you there.”

Memories of wild wyvern rides, uncontrollable laughter, and pearls of sweat on copper skin flashes before her eyes. Heat rushes to her cheeks. He blinks.

“Oh, I get it.” The lighthearted tone in his voice clashes wildly against the intensity in his eyes. “There’s a version of this, whatever this is, where you choose me, isn’t there? One where you and I…?”

“Maybe.” She gives him a melancholic smile. “Just… not this one.”

*

Byleth knows she has to fall. She has to take that final blow that sends her down into the abyss. It’s the only way to make things turn out the way she wants to. She knows that, but she’s still just as terrified when the darkness claims her.

*

“You… how long do you intend to sleep? Get on your feet. Right now!”

*

The stairs leading up to the ruins of the old monastery are littered with butchered corpses. Carefully minding her steps, Byleth continues forward, heading towards the place where she knows she’ll find the wretched shell of the boy she abandoned when he needed her the most.

He’s on the floor, leaning heavily on his lance to stay upright. His pale skin is stained with blood. The dark circle surrounding his one remaining eye has the color of a bruise. Sweat, mud, wounds, scars – his handsome face is covered in layers upon layers of suffering. The guilt hits her in the stomach like a sledgehammer. Even though she always knows what awaits her at the end of her five-year slumber, she’s never prepared for that first sight of the haunted creature that used to be Dimitri.

Her dream comes with many sacrifices, and this is the one where Dimitri pays the price. The king that Fódlan so desperately needs can only rise from the ruins of a broken prince.

The prince in front of her is about as broken as a man can be.  

Byleth knows he won’t accept her hand, but she still reaches out for him. She always does. And it always breaks her heart when he turns away.

“I should have known that one day you would be haunting me as well.”

*

The abandoned monastery springs back to life as its former teachers and students return. One by one they enter Garregh Mach, all of them bringing a shard of joy and a small shimmer of hope. Byleth smiles as she watches a highly frustrated Lysithea try to put a book back on a shelf she clearly can’t reach. Her smile widens even more when Raphael enters the library. She knows exactly where the situation is heading, and she never grows tired of watching her former students get into ridiculous fights over absolute nonsense.

Her happiness is genuine, but it’s also bittersweet. This is where the tricky part begins.  

*

“Leave it to me,” Byleth yells as she crosses the battlefield, heading towards the trembling silver-haired foe. It’s not a very strategic decision, but no one questions her. Maybe they’re all relieved they won’t have to be the one dealing the final blow against the sweetest boy to ever grace the Officers Academy.  

*

When Dorothea dances, she enthralls everyone around her. No one, friend nor foe, can look away. They see a rose in bloom: beautiful, delicate, and full of life. She doesn’t. No matter how many times Byleth tries to convince her otherwise, the songstress still only sees herself as petals slowly falling to the ground, leaving nothing but thorns.

*

Byleth is well aware of the location where Rhea is kept prisoner, but she still pretends to be just as concerned as the rest of the archbishop’s loyal supporters. She holds on to her worried façade with an iron grip, because keeping Rhea locked up is the only way to prevent her from crushing Byleth’s plan before it’s even started.

Though they’d never admit it themselves, Dimitri, Edelgard and Claude share a fairly similar vision. The three of them fight for a unified Fódlan, where the strong will no longer prey on the weak. In a world like that, there’s no place for a power-hungry demigoddess. Byleth knows it, and so does Rhea.

*

A part of Byleth hates Dimitri with her entire being during his feral phase. Another part still loves him just as intensely. Her exasperated frustration is, however, always present, because spending hours upon hours on building a strategy around a murder machine with zero sense of self-perseverance makes her want throw the prince off a damn roof.

She finds him in the cathedral as always, muttering morbid nonsense about ghosts and heads being ripped off their shoulders. While she doesn’t usually agree with Felix when he calls the prince a wild boar, she has to admit that approaching Dimitri when he’s like this feels a bit like cornering a wounded animal – an animal with a very bad temper and very sharp claws.

“Dimitri,” she says softly. “We need to talk.”

Dimitri slowly turns around. Despite everything that’s happened to him, he still moves with the proud confidence of a ruler. He stands tall before her, his broad shoulders blocking the evening’s last rays of sunlight trickling in from the windows. The resentment in his single eye is merciless.

“Leave.”

“No.” She raises her chin. “Your army expects me to guide them through this war, and I can’t do that if you continue to disregard my orders. The stunt you pulled today with those bandits… You’re going to get yourself killed, and you’re taking everyone down with you. I can’t allow that.”

“You can’t allow that?” His cold chuckle sends a shiver down her spine. “Who do you think you are, giving orders to the walking corpse of your prince?”

He takes a step forward, and despite her feigned confidence, she takes a step back. A grave mistake. He continues forward, and she continues to back away. The wounded animal has caught the scent of blood.

Her back hits the wall. He places a hand next to her head and leans forward, caging her in. She’s fast and clever, but he’s got more raw strength than a mere human should ever possess. She would never defeat him in hand-to-hand combat, and they both know it.

“If you do not approve of what I have become, then kill me”, he says. “If you insist that you cannot… then I will continue to use you and your friends until the flesh falls from your bones.”

She swallows hard, but refuses to look away. Her courage might be wavering, but her resolve is not. “I’m not afraid of you, Dimitri.”

“You should be.” His gloved hand slowly traces her arm, her shoulder, her collarbone, until finally coming to a rest on her neck. His thumb caresses the vulnerable skin of her throat before giving it a light squeeze. “Don’t you dare pity me, Professor. We’re the same, you and I. After all is said and done, we are both murderers. Both stained. Both monsters.”

“Yes,” she whispers. “We are.”

His pauses. For the first time since their reunion, he truly looks at her. His trembling exhalation tells her he’s finally noticed it – her longing, her yearning, her need – and he snaps. His lips crash into hers. She melts into his ruthless touch, returning the kiss with a desperation matching his.

She’s back.

She’s home.

He pulls back, his eye roaming her face with childlike wonder. To her, this is just one of the countless kisses they’ve already shared, but to him, it’s their first – and, as far as he knows, possibly their last. A moan escapes her lips as he grabs the back of her thighs and hoists her up. His grip tightens to the point where it will most certainly leave bruises. He clings to her like a man on the verge of drowning.

“I won’t leave you again, Dimitri,” she says, entangling her fingers in his hair as his lips wander down her throat. “I swear it.”

“Good.” He bites down hard on the spot where her neck meets her shoulder, a place where neither her hair nor her clothes would hide the mark. She can’t see his face, but she feels his feral grin against her skin. “I do not intend to let you go.”

*

Manuela and Hanneman have been bickering for nearly half an hour when Sylvain walks by their table in the dining hall. He pauses mid-step and leans down.

“You’re aware that everyone knows you’re sleeping with each other, right?”

Hanneman gasps. Manuela screams. Ingrid kicks Sylvain in the shin.

*

Some sacrifices are uglier than others. Rodrigue’s death, as necessary as it is, might be the ugliest one of them all.

*

“Your hands are so warm… Have they always been?”

The last remains of the broken prince is washed away by the pouring rain. The king rises.

*

One day, Mercedes drags a reluctant Death Knight into the monastery. She smiles proudly, reminding Byleth of a child that’s about to ask her parents if she can keep the stray cat she just found in the gutter. Byleth can’t deny the value of Jeritza’s skills, so he stays. On the battlefield, she appreciates his presence. Everywhere else, she’s ambiguous at best. She tries to believe Mercedes when she claims that her brother is just a little bit misunderstood, but he’s not making it easy. Not even once during her countless lifetimes has she managed to get share a cup of tea with the knight without receiving a poetic confession of how badly he wants to stab her in the chest.

*

Byleth is never as calm as when she’s lying in Dimitri’s arms, listening to the soft thuds of his beating heart. She can’t help but wonder what it’s like to have a ticking little machine in your chest that keeps you alive. According to Dimitri, people usually don’t even think about it. It’s just there. She wonders if she would get used to it too, if her heart ever were to start beating.

She highly doubts it.

*

Sylvain pauses mid-step as he passes Dimitri and Byleth in the dining hall. He smirks.

“You’re aware that everyone knows you’re—”

Ingrid clocks him in the head with a plate.

*

Byleth hates Gronder Field.

*

“If you’re going to lead Fódlan, then the Alliance lords will follow you.” Claude hands Dimitri his bow. The former leader of the Alliance is limping a little, but overall, he seems to have gotten through the battle more or less unharmed. He always does. It’s like his plans have so many backup plans that not even death itself can keep track of what’s going on.  

“I’ve played my part now,” he continues. “Right, Teach?”

“You have,” Byleth says. “Thank you for trusting us.” Wordlessly, she adds, Thank you for trusting me.

“I knew you’d come. You’re a bunch of soft-hearted suckers after all.” Claude winks, and wordlessly replies, Always.

“Go to Almyra. Make your vision come true, Kha—” She bites her tongue, but the slip is already out. “Claude. Make your vision come true, Claude.”

“Your wish is my command.” He gives her a sarcastic little bow, keeping eye contact through the entire movement. His grin has a knowing edge. “Too bad I’ll never get to experience that other version, eh? I bet it was a fun one.”

Byleth smiles. “It was.”  

*

Hilda manages to break an impressive amount of hearts – and furniture – during the few days she stays at the monastery before jumping back up on her wyvern to follow Claude to Almyra.

*

This is it.

Byleth clenches her trembling fists as Edelgard walks up to Dimitri. For the first time in many, many years, the two of them speak in earnest. Their conversation is calm and sensible, dancing around the unavoidable for as long as they can. Eventually, they reach the point of no return. They share the same vision, but they both conclude that their methods are too disparate to coexist.  

In every other timeline, this is where Byleth loses. Dimitri and Edelgard go their separate ways, and one of them winds up dead. She takes a deep breath. Not this time.

“Neither of you will see your dream come true unless we defeat Those Who Slither in the Dark.” She looks at a highly skeptical Edelgard, and then turn her gaze to a very confused Dimitri. This is the moment she’s been preparing for since she first laid eyes on the three heirs. This is why she spent so much effort on returning lost items, organizing choir practices, and saving money for expensive tea. This is it.

“Do you trust me?”

*

The temporary truce between the Holy Kingdom and the Empire is anything but pretty. The wounds each side have caused the other are too deep to heal with a simple common goal. What they all share, though, is their loyalty to their respective leader – and their leaders have decided to put their faith in their old professor.

Together, they prepare for their march to Shambhala.

*

An unavoidable side effect of the truce is the liberation of Rhea.

If Rhea knows Byleth’s true feelings, she doesn’t show it. The demigoddess keeps giving Byleth that serene smile, treating her like a companion, a mother, and a daughter all at once. Byleth plays along, because she knows all too well how Rhea reacts when someone questions her authority. It always ends with fire. Lots, and lots of fire.

Byleth keeps up her dangerous act, because Rhea can’t show her true face yet. Those Who Slither in the Dark must be defeated before the world burns.

*

“You never told me about Those Who Slither in the Dark,” Dimitri murmurs, softly stroking Byleth’s hair. “Why would you hide such a thing from me?”

“If I’d told you, you would have gone after them yourself.” She presses a kiss to his jaw before settling back down on his chest. Her body relaxes to the sound of his heartbeats. “We wouldn’t have made it on our own.”

A lie, of course, but it’s a white one.

He sighs. “Even now, after all this time, you are still a mystery to me. My beloved, will you ever entrust me with your secrets?”

“When all of this is over, I’ll tell you everything. I promise.”

Truth.

*

Edelgard grabs Byleth’s arm and pulls her to the side. “For as long as the Church of Seiros controls Fódlan, this war will never end,” she says in a low voice. “I will continue down this path until the people of this land are free to decide their own fates. I have devoted my life to destroying the blood-stained cycle the church so desperately wishes to uphold. Defeating Those Who Slither in the Dark will not lead me astray.”

“I know.”

They stand in silence for a while, watching the army close in on the underground city.

“Will you go back to them, once this battle is over? To him?” Edelgard lowers her eyes. “You were once like family to me. I do not regret my decision to start this war, but I cannot help but wonder how things would have been if I’d walked down this path with you by my side.”

Better, yet so much worse.  

After making sure no one’s listening, Byleth leans closer. “I want the cycle to end, too, El. So does Dimitri.”

“A highborn person like him will never understand the struggles of the poor and weak.” Edelgard scoffs. “He believes they cannot survive without their faith, that it’s their useless prayers to a goddess who will never answer that keep them alive. He claims to speak on the behalf of the people, yet he still refuses to let go of the system that is causing this injustice. Do you truly believe that he will change his mind, my teacher? That a man like him can ever see the truth?”

“I hope so. Just like I hope that you, once this is over, will see that you both share the same vision.”

“That’s a dangerous gamble, even for a strategist like you.” She snorts, her eyes glittering with amusement. “But then again, I do remember the days when you used to make plans based entirely on lucky hits.”

*

Byleth has never seen anything as terrifying or as beautiful as Dimitri and Edelgard fighting side by side. Power, grace, speed, skill – together, the two rulers are unstoppable. Edelgard gives Dimitri a short nod when Areadbhar blocks an enemy blade moments before it slashes her side. Dimitri’s lips twitch when she returns the favor, her shield blocking an arrow aimed at his chest.

In perfect synchronization, they both fall back as they reach their final foe. With the Emperor and the King guarding her back, Byleth raises the Sword of the Creator.

Thales falls.

*

“So, uh, are we still at war or what?” Caspar asks, casting nervous glances left and right as the army leaves the ruins of Shambhala.

Linhardt yawns. “I have no idea.”

In all honesty, neither did Byleth.

*

Back at Garreg Mach, Rhea, still affected by her years of imprisonment, once again tries to entrust Byleth with the leadership of the Church of Seiros. The demigoddess eyes turn cold when Byleth declines.

“The world is changing, Seiros,” Byleth says. “Humanity is rising up. Fódlan belongs to its people, and It’s time for the children of Sothis to let go.”

Rhea reacts just like Byleth knew she would. A guttural roar pierces the tense silence of the monastery.

The world burns.  

*

The crest stones within the soldiers and monks of the Church of Seiros react to the Immaculate One’s calls, and soon, the monastery is crawling with mindless beasts. The two armies are once again forced to work together, and so is Dimitri and Edelgard. Putting their grudge back on pause, the two of them raise their weapons against the feral creature that used to be Rhea.

Out of all of Byleth’s battles against the Immaculate One, this should have been the easiest one. With two armies instead of one, she was certain the odds were in their favor – but, as always, it turns out there’s a detail she’s overlooked.  

With Dimitri’s and Edelgard’s strength combined, Those Who Slither in the Dark went down much faster than Byleth predicted. Thales never managed to summon his javelins of light. Rhea never took that almost lethal hit to save them all.

This version of the Immaculate One, worn-out but mostly unharmed, is the strongest one Byleth has ever faced.

Over and over, Byleth sends the coiled blade of the Sword of the Creator through the air, but every time an enemy falls another one takes its place. All around her, soldiers of the Kingdom and the Empire alike fall victim to the Immaculate One’s merciless fire. True terror fills Byleth’s chest. She miscalculated, and this time, she won’t be able to go back and make things right. This is her last shot, and she’s failing. Again.

“What’s the plan?” Sylvain yells from his steed, blood trickling down his face from a wound on his forehead.

Byleth slashes down another white beast as she tries to come up with an answer. Not even Ashe and Lysithea have managed to get close enough to Rhea to attack. Dedue, who can usually withstand pretty much anything, was nearly killed in one single hit. There is no plan. There hasn’t been for quite some time.

Somewhere to her right, Edelgard gasps. “Look!”

Byleth turns around. Her eyes narrow as she stares at the horizon. A strange cloud is approaching from the east, and it’s moving fast.

“What is that?” Dimitri punches a church soldier in the face before piercing another one with his lance in one single movement. “More beasts?”

Byleth’s brain goes blank. They wouldn’t survive another wave of reinforcements. Her battalion withdrew ages ago. Mercedes is running out of healing spells. Felix, the one-man army, is surrounded, and he’s already tricked death more times than should have been statistically possible. Byleth has officially run out of strategies.

She squints at the horizon. Her heart skips a beat. She catches the glimpse of a banner, and it carries the colors of yellow and black.

“No,” she says, smiling. “It’s the King of Almyra.”

*

The master of unpredictability swoops in with an army of wyvern riders, and just like that, the tides turn. Eventually, Byleth stands before Rhea with the three young rulers by her side.

“You ungrateful piece of trash.” The Immaculate One’s eyes burn with manic hatred. “I gave you everything. You stole my mother from me. I will take her back!”

She lunges for Byleth, but her blow is blocked by a crimson shield.

“Your reign has ended, Rhea,” Edelgard says, her voice unwavering. “This battle marks the birth of a new world – a world where the strong will no longer prey on the weak.”

Dimitri rearranges his grip on Areadbhar, preparing to strike. “A world where people are allowed to choose their own beliefs.”

“A world where everyone, regardless of their heritage, can be free.” Claude draws his bow.

Edelgard gives the two kings an appreciative nod before turning back to Rhea. “A world,” she says as she raises Aymr, “where there’s no need for gods.”

*

The Immaculate One falls. One by one, the crest-bearing beasts drop to the ground as Seiros’ power leaves their bodies. Something cracks in Byleth’s chest. The Sword of the Creator slips from her hands, and then she’s falling too.

She knows what’s happening. She’s known from the beginning how her journey would end.

It was worth it, she thinks, and then the darkness claims her.

*

Byleth blinks. Her mind is blank. She tries to remember where she is, but her brain gives her nothing. She then tries to remember who she is, but she doesn’t seem to know that either.

“Professor.”

“Teach.”

“Teacher.”

The three names are called out all at once, and somehow, she knows they all belong to her. She blinks again and tries to focus on the three faces hovering above her. Blue eyes, green eyes, violet eyes, all staring down at her, sharing the same obvious relief. Her mind clicks. Everything falls back into place.

“I did it,” she whispers. “I finally did it.”

Dimitri scoops her up and hugs her to his chest with a desperation that makes her fear for the safety of her ribs.  

Edelgard smiles, tears rolling down her cheeks.

Voice trembling, Claude says, “I like the new hair.”

*

Once the Emperor has made sure that the governing of Fódlan will no longer be decided by bloodlines but by the will of the people, she hands over the crown to the unified nation’s first elected king. The former Prince of Faerghus becomes the King of Fódlan, and with the support of the King of Almyra, he opens up the continent’s borders to the rest of the world.

The power of turning back time is lost forever. The human who once wielded it feels no remorse.  

*

Byleth never stops cherishing the soft thuds of her beating heart.

[fyeahjacquelinecarlyle]

The Trouble with Ian

Warning: a Jacqueline spoiler for an upcoming episode is mentioned.

Let’s start at the very beginning - as the legend goes, a very good place to start. We only saw Ian Carlyle in a handful of episodes in the first three seasons of The Bold Type, but everything we saw indicated he was a loving, supportive and understanding husband - so understanding, in fact, that, when Jacqueline couldn’t make it to their anniversary dinner due to a work emergency, he brought the anniversary dinner to her. There were never any signs of trouble in paradise, not until season 4 rolled around, that is.

This whole mess started in the premiere episode, Legends of the Fall Issue, with a perfectly innocent game of chess in the Carlyle residence. Ian and Jacqueline appeared to be having a nice and relaxing time together, reminiscing about the day they met when he encouraged his wife to “press pause” for a while on the heels of her losing her job at Scarlet. He then followed that apparently innocuous and selfless statement, which was not well received by Jacqueline (“I’m not really the press-pause type…”) with, “I wouldn’t mind going back to work.” Jacqueline’s surprised reaction told us that was definitely the first she was hearing of it. After the briefest of hesitations, she was encouraging, telling him that he should - go back to work, that is. She had barely gotten the words out when Ian said, “Ok, I’ll put out some feelers,” got up and left the room to do just that.

Looking back, that was a red flag - this wasn’t something that had recently occurred to him, or that he had been thinking about casually. It was something that he had been wanting for a long time, as he wasn’t even willing to properly discuss the subject with his wife before taking action - hell, he wasn’t even willing to continue their game of chess. He literally got up and left to try and get a job. Judging by Jacqueline’s expressions, she was quite taken aback, either by his wish to go back to work (again, it was clearly news to her) or the very eager way he was going about it. Possibly both.

Let’s also consider something else that’s important here. Jacqueline had just lost her job of a decade. A job that meant the world to her.  She might not have been crying in a corner but that’s because that’s not Jacqueline Carlyle’s way of dealing - and if anyone would know that other than the audience, it’d be her husband. She was upset enough she was day drinking with her then former employee (tbf, it’s Jane, who’s more than “an employee” to her, but I digress) earlier that day, not to mention upset enough to admit to said employee her first instinct after the news of her ousting had been to brandish a pitchfork and go burn down Safford. While that was an obvious exaggeration, and Jacqueline would never resort to such (literal or metaphorical) extreme measures, it was a clear indication that she was distressed by what had happened. And did we see Ian being there for his wife, comforting her, encouraging her? Nope. Just like we didn’t see him doing any of those things while she was struggling with Patrick’s arrival and the changes happening at Scarlet back in season 3. It took Jane (once again, Tiny Jane to the rescue!) to give Jacqueline the support and encouragement she needed to keep on keeping on at the time.

All of this to say… there’s a limit to how much credit Ian gets here. As much as their life has played out off-screen the majority of the time, we as an audience mostly respond to what we actually see, and Ian being a loving, caring, supporting husband is something that was basically left back in season 1. We acknowledge and accept he’s been home, taking care of the kids, having put his career ambitions in the back burner. He gets full credit for that. But let’s also not forget that was a decision he made in conjunction with his wife years ago, as it was probably the best thing for their family at the time. The current state of affairs wasn’t imposed on him - it was something he helped decide and required his active participation.

Ian feels differently now, as is his right. He wants to go back to work and that is fine. The problem comes when this wish is communicated, acted on and expected to come to fruition in the literal space of a few days, at most (as every fan knows, time goes by sloooowly in the Bold Type verse).  To review - Jacqueline working and Ian being a full time “househusband” has been the status quo for the past ten years (and something the audience suddenly learned about this season). Jacqueline loses her job for a day, at most, during which time he tells her he "wouldn't mind" going back to work, manages to get some leads…

… and then Jacqueline gets her job back! She is left scrambling - let’s not forget she’s just been informed Scarlet is going fully digital, something totally new to her and a completely new direction for the magazine. At first, she thinks Patrick will be able to help out and share the load… but then he jumps ship and she is left all alone to tackle this new professional challenge… not to mention a new, unexpected challenge in the home front--

Yes, because what we soon learn is that Jacqueline being back at Scarlet doesn’t make Ian reassess his plans, which go full steam ahead. Jacqueline continues to support her husband and commits her most egregious offense in episode 2, #scarlet, when she (gasp!) is unable to leave the office in the middle of the day to be home for their son’s tutor - which means Ian has to rearrange a meeting about a potential job (and is angry enough about it that he hangs up without saying goodbye). He’s clearly successful in his efforts to “make it work”, however, because, after a Scarlet event, he simply announces to his wife that he not only received but already accepted an offer for a job that will take him halfway across the world… to the Ukraine.

Does Jacqueline protest? Put up a fight? Put her foot down? Nope. We see her accepting his decision and finding ways to make their home and her work life work, as best as she can. We see her arranging her schedule to fit in a bon voyage luncheon to Ian and a Scarlet photo shoot, which happen on the same day.

Throughout this whole episode, we see Ian pulling faces and making snide remarks under his breath, out of earshot of his wife, who appears none the wiser about his feelings - the one exception being when Ian arrives with the boys at the Scarlet photo shoot (they’re to leave for his luncheon after). The next words out of his mouth after “Hi” are “So… ETD?”. Jacqueline, is once again, taken by surprise, this time by her husband being so anxious to leave after he’s just arrived. Everything indicates they attend the luncheon as planned, however, which means that, that day, at least, Jacqueline is able to reconcile her home and work lives, making both RJ and Ian happy…

…or does she?

That night, as Ian is packing for Europe, still sullen faced, an uncharacteristically timid Jacqueline makes a remark about a clearly favorite shirt he’s taking with him and asks if he has plans to “go out” while he’s away… to which Ian says yes, because he’d like to, and I quote, “have fun for a change.”

This is the final straw. Jacqueline, who appears to finally put two and two together, asks Ian, point-blank, how unhappy he is with their marriage. Instead of giving a direct answer, he turns the tables on her, and says, “I think about as unhappy as you… Jacqueline.” She is, once again, taken aback, and silent for a long time. All she manages, by way of reply, is a simple “Right”, and nothing else. He leaves the room.

There’s a lot to unpack here. He got a job, which is exactly what he wanted. Meanwhile, Jacqueline is willing to hold down the fort at home so he can go back to work. Why isn’t he happy? Is it because she wasn’t perfect right out the gate, unable to “share the load” the first time she had to, and he had to shift some things around to make his brand new career plans work with his long-established responsibilities at home? Is it because we were shown how much Jacqueline cares about Scarlet, at times excitedly talking to her husband about the new challenges she was facing and other times venting to him about the issues she was encountering? Is it because she didn’t appear to be sad or upset that he was leaving or ask him to stay…

…

Ding ding ding?

One of the times we saw Ian annoyed and sulking was when Jacqueline was having a good time at the aforementioned photo shoot, demonstrating her abilities at a game of flip cup to the shock and delight of Alex and Andrew. Maybe jealousy is a factor here - jealousy of how much time and energy Jacqueline devotes to the magazine and how she seems to thrive and come alive when she’s working. Maybe Ian feels he comes second to Scarlet and just can’t deal anymore.

In any event, Jacqueline and Ian’s issues appear to extend beyond his employment status. Perhaps the most worrisome part is that Jacqueline appeared, for the most part, oblivious to Ian’s misery. During these first few episodes, we’d see her being very animated and affectionate towards her husband, indicating she was not the one with the problem... he was. And the depth of his anger and frustration indicates he’s been nurturing negative feelings towards his wife for a long time now. Communication clearly is a major issue here, but as the discontent party, it was up to Ian to lay the cards out on the table and let Jacqueline know how he felt. Only then would we have been able to judge her own behavior when it comes to their issues - as it is, it’s hard to put her at fault here.

As far as Ian going back to work, the most glaring issue here is time, which is something he was not willing to give Jacqueline, who was expected to learn about his desire to resume his career, process the information and then adjust her life to make it happen, practically overnight. Such a drastic change in a family’s life should come with planning - not even short-term, but medium to long-term planning. Ian and Jacqueline are such hands-on parents that, years ago, they made the decision that one of them shouldn’t hold a job so they could be there for those kids full time, despite them having more than enough money to hire nannies and tutors to take them off their hands. Now, all of a sudden, he is more than ready to leave for Europe and not even give these children the chance to adapt to their dad suddenly being away. We know Ian was working for Rolling Stone Magazine in the US when he met Jacqueline back in the ’90s. Couldn’t he have gotten his feet wet with a local job first, that would allow him to be home for dinner most nights? It’s not as though he’s looked long and hard closer to home before accepting the Ukraine gig. Not to mention, it’d only be fair to give his wife a couple of months - hell, a couple of weeks - to adjust to her new reality at work before turning her entire life upside down. The man made it a full decade without a job - surely a few more weeks/months would not have killed him.

One can’t help but wonder what is the intended play here. One of the spoilers for season 4 of The Bold Type says Jacqueline will run into someone from her past who’ll “give her clarity about what she wants out of life”. My biggest fear is that these little moments where we witnessed Jacqueline absorbed in her work and Ian unhappy are supposed to make the audience feel bad for the “supportive” and “sacrificing” husband who put his career on hold so his wife could realize her own ambitions, and, as she is about to lose him, she finally comes to the realization that she needs to devote more of her time and attention to him and their family, or be more clear about how much they mean to her. In other words, she’s a thoughtless workaholic who needs to appreciate her hubby more and just… be better, because women can and should have it all, all at once, all of the time.

I swear to God...

Ok, ok, I’m perfectly aware I’m jumping the gun here. We’re only three episodes in, and a lot of water is about to go under that metaphorical bridge. What I described above is basically my worst, nightmare scenario. The dream scenario would be Ian having an open, frank conversation with his wife where he tells her exactly what his problem is. A conversation where he accepts fault for his passive-aggressive behavior and the way he went about going back to work, not including her in his decision making process. And I’m not saying Jacqueline’s perfect here, by any means - if anything she could’ve noticed Ian’s feelings sooner (seriously, how long has he been this pissy?). The reason I’m not nearly as hard on her is that Ian’s sins are so numerous and so egregious it’s very difficult to look past them.

I hope the show explores why Jacqueline has been so oblivious… or would indifferent be a better word? Is she content with the way things are between her and her husband? Does she care more about Scarlet than she does Ian, at the end of the day? If the answer to those questions is ‘yes’, then that’s bad news for their marriage, but all I ask is that the outcome of this storyline be consistent with the behavior of both characters we’ve seen (and continue to see..) on screen. As fans, we want - we crave - consistency. At the end of the day, a story that makes sense and does justice to the characters we know and love means more than one that has a happy ending.

[im-just-here-for-the-drama]

LGBTQ Characters in Asian dramas: The Good, The Bad, and The Mediocre: 2019 Edition

No one asked, but here it is-all the gay I saw in 2019! 

SPOILERS AHEAD!

The Bad (I’d say don’t waste your time on these, but who am I to tell you what to do?)

Graceful Family: Mo Wan Joon 

The Story: Blah blah blah, revenge or something- at a point it’s revealed that Mo Wan Joon is a trans woman. 

Should you watch?: If you really like revenge melos maybe, but if you’re looking for this show to do something good and offer up some good trans rep? Nope. 

Literally nothing about Mo Wan Joon’s story is watchable. I wasn’t even entirely sure the show even knows what being transgender even means. It comes off as more of a plot twist  to put the family all in a tizzy more than anything else. They don’t really show much of Wan Joon’s struggle or anything poignant or engaging. 

TharnType

TRIGGER WARNING:  Sexual assault/rape

Country: Thailand 

Official Links: https://www.facebook.com/notes/line-tv/tharntypetheseries-line-tvs-official-links-for-international-fans/2525229217761969/

The Story: Type is a homophobe who ends being roommates with the openly gay Tharn. 

Should you watch?:  No. The good you get isn’t worth sitting through the bad. But if you really can’t help yourself, you’ll have to learn to ignore its problematic elements.

Type was molested as a child, and as a result he hates gay people. He’s clearly still traumatized by his experience. He has nightmares and is triggered by Tharn at least once remembering his assault. Type eventually tells Tharn about his assault and it’s pretty much never brought up again. 

Type is shown to be ridiculously homophobic and he equates gay people with pedophiles and is never really corrected in this logic (even though his boyfriend is a whole gay man). Even after Type starts dating Tharn, Type’s homophobia is never really properly put to rest. 

For some reason, the writer of TharnType loves incorporating rape/sexual assault into her shows when it’s clearly a sensitive topic she knows next to nothing about. And it’s clear in this show, because the show take the topic way lighter than it should.  Because of what happened to Type in his childhood, he believes that gay men like forcing themselves onto others without their consent, and then the show proceeds to have Tharn do exactly that to Type multiple times. Also, thankfully, this happens offscreen, but another character pays several men to gang rape another character and that’s too heavy for a show that clearly wasn’t going to address it properly. 

At the beginning of this show, Tharn had a huge issue with knowing what boundaries and consent were, but by the second half, Tharn chilled out and Type stepped up and became ridiculously childish and violent towards Tharn. Clearly these two have no real business being in a relationship with each other if you ask me.

Though there was a lot I hated about this show I did like some of it. I think this writer writes some really nice and sweet scenes between Tharn and Type.  Mew and Gulf have great chemistry. I’ve seen plenty of videos of Gulf and Mew together and they are adorable. They work well together and they come off more natural than some other couples, but the way the relationship is handled  in TharnType and some of the things that are glossed over in this show leave a bad taste in my mouth. 

The Mediocre (These aren’t the best, but they’re watchable.)

Moment at Eighteen: Jung Oh Je

Country: Korea

Official Links: https://www.viki.com/tv/36633c-moment-of-eighteen?q=moment%20of

The Story: Transfer student Jun Woo has no interest in school life, as he is traumatized from being expelled from bullying. Meanwhile, Soo Bin has been watching Jun Woo all this time. She sees a different side to Jun Woo than the one that other people see. Oh Je, is Jun Woo’s best friend who starts to discover his sexuality.

Should you watch?: Hmmm… sure. 

Oh Je has a decent side plot. It was interesting to see him figuring out he liked Hwi Young and coming out to his ex girlfried, Da Young and his friends. I do wish his story was expanded a little more though. There were several things I would have liked to have seen, like coming out to his family, and I thought they wrapped his story up a little too quickly at the end. 

2moons2

Country: Thailand 

Official Links: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLdoEouCtbBvjdNkB5Wl0eYS4V4Zx-1MZY

The Story: Wayo is accepted at the Kantaphat University, in the Faculty of Sciences. Wayo has always been in love with Phana, who studies at the same university. When Wayo has the chance to become the “moon” of his faculty, the two begin to spend time together because Phana himself has been the “moon” of the medical school the previous year and must supervise the freshmen participating in the competition. The two slowly get closer and closer. 

Should you watch?: Yeah. 

Honestly, it’s not super memorable,and not super impressive, but there’s some cute moments, and an easy storyline. We get to see more of the other two couples (MingKit and ForthBeam)  than we saw in the original 2moons. It’s fun and interesting enough. I’ll look forward to the next one. 

Theory of Love

Country: Thailand

Official Links: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLVsizYwoQ6B3LsKmcDDMNtHGXnjG88i4C

The Story: Third is a  filmology major and a member of the Savage Team along with his best friends Two, Bone, and Khai, but he has a secret. Third has been secretly in love with Khai for years. 

For three years he has kept his secret love in his heart, silently supporting and loving Khai while knowing there is absolutely no future between them since Khai is as straight as a streetlight pole and also an absolute player. 

To make matters worse, Khai has a “no dating friends” policy.  How long can Third love Khai silently while watching Khai bring a different girl home every night? Third has tried to see Khai as just a friend.  But has failed time and time again. Because as easy as it is to fall in love, to stop is just as hard.  Maybe even harder.  But when Third finally decides to stop loving Khai, Khai decides to start loving Third.

Should you watch?: It wasn’t my cup of tea but, yeah.

Who knew one of my most anticipated shows of the year would turn out to be one of the most disappointing? The show spent way too much time on Third crying, wallowing, and letting his friend walk all over him, and not nearly enough time on Khai making a believable turnaround. Khai spent at least half the show being a dick of a friend, to the point that I was unsure as to why Third liked him for so long. Then when Khai started to have feelings for Third, I just thought it happened way too quickly and unbelievably to me. But despite all that there were some cute moments in the end that made all of that kind of  okay and kind of worth it. And the side couple was cute. 

Dark Blue Kiss

Country: Thailand 

Official Links: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLdoEouCtbBviEVFNHbg7dKw7Lfd8-6zB1

The Story: Kao and Pete being in a blissful romance, have grown closer. But Kao is closeted, and he fears the thought of others finding out. His mother introduces Non, a son of a colleague, to be tutored by Kao. With Non constantly giving off ‘iffy’ vibes towards Kao, it only fuels Pete’s jealousy. Their relationship is put in strain, but through this, they must ultimately overcome each other’s flaws. 

Whilst Sun pushes his brother Rain to stay away from Mork, the younger man’s uncontrollable behavior brings him in. As his wildness is intriguing, Sun’s seriousness holds Mork down somewhat. Underneath it all, the two start to care for each other. However, with Mork’s dangerous life, he can’t shake who he is. But maybe he can for someone like Sun.

Should you watch?: If you’re a fan of Pete/Kao or a fan of the typical GMM show.  

I wasn’t a huge fan of Pete and Kao from the series they were originally in and this show honestly didn’t really help. Pete and Kao’s relationship is pulled into an annoying direction when an outsider tries to come between the two of them. It’s classic bl tactics and frankly it’s boring and frustrating to watch when it drags on for multiple episodes. I did love Sun and Mork from the beginning, but even the writing for their storyline got annoying towards the end. The huge problem in this series is that none of our leads really communicate with each other. There’s some enjoyable things in this show but it’s ultimately more frustrating than it should be. 

Ossan’s Love: In The Sky

Country: Japan

The Story: Haruta, a 35-year-old single man, has to switch careers and he begins a new career as a cabin attendant in Tenku Peach Airlines. Even though he’s clumsy, he seems to be protected by the Great Captain Kurosawa. One day, he finds drawings of himself in a locker and accidentally discovers tries to figure out who drew them. Haruta discovers that not only is the mechanic Shino in love with him, but Captain is secretly in love with him too. Meanwhile, Haruta takes an interest in the co-pilot Naruse.

Should you watch? Yes, but you might be disappointed by the end. 

I’m a fan of  the original Ossan’s Love and I know what this show usually gives so I expected this show to be silly, ridiculous, fun. And it was for the most part. I always love Haruta. I would literally watch him in any reincarnation of this show and not complain. He’s always a joy to watch and that’s still true here. But this time around, things are a lot more messier than usual. There’s a complicated love triangle, which I hate, but  even that was fine because I enjoyed the other characters. My only complaint was how it ended, because I would have preferred him with someone else rather than who he ends up with. 

Love with Flaws: Won Suk and Ho Dol

Country: Korea

The Story:  Joo Seo Yeon, is a hot-tempered physical education high school teacher who always wears sneakers, jeans and training uniforms.  The death of her parents helped instill a deep sense of compassion, a generous heart and an outspoken objection for anyone who drinks and drives. Living in a house with three wild and very attractive brothers, she loathes flower boys. Her ideal type is someone who is “not handsome.” Won Suk is one of her handsome older brothers.

Won Suk has closed his heart to relationships and love, but he lives his life as an openly gay man. Ho Dol is closeted and lacks confidence. They meet one night at Won Suk’s bar.

Should you watch?: People have been kind enough to condense Won Suk’s and Ho Dol’s  story into parts on YouTube so yeah, go ahead and check it out. 

These two don’t get a whole lot of screen time, but the little they do get is nice. We get to see Won Seok help Ho Dol open up and be more confident with who he is and in turn, Won Seok opens up his heart. 

The Good (These are worth the hours of your life you won’t get back.)

History3: Trapped

Country: Taiwan

Official Links: https://www.viki.com/tv/36410c-history-3-trapped?locale=en

The Story: Shao Fei’s police officer mentor and Tang Yi’s gang leader father were killed in a gunshot attack. No one knows why or what really happened. The only survivor, Tang Yi, stepped up and is now the gang leader. Police officer Shao Fei wants to find out what happened that day and he’s sure that Tang Yi’s hiding the truth. Shao Fei decides that the only way to figure out the truth is to investigate Tang Yi to the fullest and Tang Yi just wants Shao Fei to leave him alone since he’s trying to take the gang in a more legitimate direction, but what happens when the two keep crossing paths and ultimately start to fall for each other? 

Should you watch?: Absolutely. 

I watched this show twice last year and somehow I liked it even better the second time around. The story is fresh-school/university plots get real old real fast (not that I don’t love them though). Instead we get a story about a mob boss and a police officer.  The plot is well written, coherent, interesting, and fun, and doesn’t revolve solely around the romance. And speaking of romance, it’s well integrated into the larger plot that focuses on figuring out what happened to Tang Yi’s father and Shao Fei’s mentor years ago. There’s just the right balance between plot and romance. There’s also a second couple that’s super cute. Both couples have great chemistry. What’s not to like?

He’s Coming To Me

Country: Thailand

The Story: After his death, Mes is a ghost that is consumed by loneliness. That is until he meets a strange boy that can see him. The two bond in a state of happiness and joy as they develop into friends. But what happens when Mes falls for the boy who is alive?

Should you watch?: Of course! 

This is by far, in my opinion one of the most slept on shows of 2019. Who would have thought things could work out between a ghost and human? I went into this show expecting it to be full of sadness and angst and it really surprised me. Of course it does have those things, Mes is ghost so… but  it’s definitely one of the sweetest dramas of the year. The boys forge a strong friendship and bond from the beginning, they’re ridiculously cute, the side characters are enjoyable, the friends are supportive,  and there’s an interesting story of Mes and Thun trying to figure out the mystery behind Mes’ death. You should definitely put it on your list to check out. 

What Did You Eat Yesterday?

Country: Japan

The Story: Kakei Shiro is a 45 year old lawyer who works at a small law firm. He is a good cook and a meticulous and thrifty person who keeps the monthly food budget to 25,000 yen. Shiro’s daily routine is to leave work on time and head to a discount supermarket nearby. His partner Yabuki Kenji is an affable hairdresser in his 40s. The two of them share a two-bedroom apartment and the finer points of two men living together comes up at the dining table every day. Although two of them have been in a relationship for three years and Kakei’s parents know he is gay, Kakei never shares the fact that he is gay or Kenji is his partner to anyone else.

Should you watch? Definitely.

Very slice of life, very sweet, very heartwarming. We get to see two older gay men navigate their lives and society. We see how Shiro struggles with coming out and being open and we see how he deals with his accepting but ignorant parents. We see Kenji struggle with Shiro’s closed-offness and the strain its puts on their relationship when Shiro refuses to let people know they’re together.  Shiro and Kenji interact with other gay couples too, and it’s interesting to see the dynamics between the different couples.  It’s a nice change of pace to the shows I’m used to.  Also, there’s plenty of food to salivate over. 

Hello? Spring Is Coming

Country: Korea

Official Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnyivXs1rWk

The Story: Every coming out is difficult, but most of all, coming out in front of  family is the hardest.

Should you watch?: We get way too few shows about wlw. And also they’re way too short, and on that note yes you should watch. It’s sweet. 

The Effect

TRIGGER WARNING: Rape, bullying, attempted suicide 

Country: Thailand

Official Links (in the comments): https://mydramalist.com/32424-the-effect

The Story: Shin, a shy and reserved 1st-year university student, admires his senior Keng from afar. Keng is tall, handsome, smart and owns the heart of many girls on campus. But what others don’t see is the pressure to be perfect from his family that weighs on Keng’s shoulders.  Due to Shin’s clumsiness, he becomes acquainted with the handsome senior. As Keng takes a liking to his junior,  jealousy from peers makes the cyber world a breeding ground for hate and nasty rumors. Shin falls victim not only to the strangers online but to Keng as well. Nobody but Shin can overcome the trauma that will be placed upon him. All he needs is for the strangers to listen. Because only then can they understand “the effect” that they have on others. 

Should you watch? Heed the trigger warnings, and if you can handle them, then yes. 

You know those BL shows where one of the characters is forced or coerced into having sex with their love interest and then falls in love with him at the end? This show is thankfully, not that. I wouldn’t even consider this a BL because, well because it’s not. It’s not a love story. It takes a very very different and serious path that most shows in this genre don’t even come close to. This show did a good job of really showing the effects of social media, bullying, and rape, what they could really do to a person, and the support system one needs after a trauma. At a (way too) short 3 episodes, it was super emotional, mostly realistic, and it really left a memorable impression. There were a few things I wish had been explored and fleshed out more and I wished they’d changed the ending from the novel. I would have preferred something more uplifting, less open ended potential tragedy. But on another note, James as Shin was a stand out here with such an emotionally draining role. I’ll definitely be looking forward to his future projects. 

Mood Indigo/Indigo No Kibun

Country: Japan

The Story: The story begins with Shiro Kido’s reunion with a former classmate, Rio Kijima, at a college teacher’s funeral. In the past, when they were students, Kijima used to show talent as a novelist, even earning a big prize. Kido was jealous of Kijima’s success, but after reading his works he became aware of his lack of talent and gave up writing novels and became an editor of erotic novels. However, after reuniting, it became clear to Kido that Kijima was stuck; facing a wall. He had used up all his talent. With Kido also being in a lost state he offers Kijima the opportunity to write pornographic novels.With the intense eroticism and closeness, both men open up and feed into their desire. 

Should you watch?: Yeah. 

As one of the more erotic shows on this list, It was interesting to see the development between Rio and Kido. Their dynamic certainly isn’t anything romantic,cute, or healthy but still very beautiful, passionate, and raw. I wasn’t a huge fan of this shows predecessor Pornographer, but this one really made me appreciate it from another perspective. It helped me realize why Rio was the way he was and how this relationship impacted his later relationship with Kusami.  

Really Lily?

Country: Korea

Official Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=167D6kmuspU

The Story: Are we friends? Or…

Should you watch?: It’s short, sweet, and funny. Absolutely. 

Rural Outcasts

Country: Korea

The Story: Sun Hui moves to a small village where she lives her life as Soon Ho until she can make enough money to become her true self. Dong Ja, a feisty 12 year old, breaks into her house one day.

Should you watch? Yes.

 Found family always makes for a heartwarming story and this one is no different. I loved the bond between Dong Ja and Sun Hui and I loved their mother daughter relationship. Very sweet and heartwarming, but be prepared for some heartbreak too. 

History3: Make Our Days Count 

TRIGGER WARNING: Forced kisses, bullying 

Country: Taiwan

The Story:  At first glance, high schoolers Xiang Hao Ting and Yu Xi Gu appear to be polar opposites: While  Hao Ting is an outgoing, hot-headed extravert and some-time bully,  Xi Gu prefers to keep a low profile and focus on his schoolwork. They seem bound for totally different futures – the bookish Xi Gu looks destined for academic success, while life is just a long popularity contest for Hao Ting. But a quirk of fate – and a crucial intervention by a female schoolmate – results in the two young men’s paths crossing. But there is more to both young men than first meets the eye.  Hao Ting was not always this way. He started out as a perfect student until he discovered the joys of going off the rails.  Xi Gu has a reason for being so aloof and studious: His parents died in a traffic accident while he was younger, and he is being fostered by his aunt. As such, he works hard to get good grades in an effort to win a scholarship and ease the financial burden on his relatives. Xi Gu and Hao Ting find themselves drawn together, and passions ignite. The former notices that he has the unique ability to bring  Xi Gu out of his shell – and becomes intent on melting his cold-as-ice exterior. What will happen when their two worlds collide? And can love be the catalyst that helps bring these two unlikely students together – as their high school days draw to a close?

Sun Bo Xiang is Hao Ting’s friend who has a crush on a man, Lu Zhi Gang who he meets at the gym. Zhi Gang’s runs the shop that Xi Gu works at part time. When Bo Xiang confesses to Zhi Gang, and tells him that he’ll love hm forever, Zhi Gang doesn’t believe it because Zhi Gang is young and overzealous. Also, nothing lasts forever, or does it?

Should You Watch?:  Yes, but it doesn’t end happily so keep that in mind.. 

Given this show’s predecessors it had some big shoes to fill. I expected this show to be good and honestly, it was. The general consensus is that the ending ruined the entire show. And had I had time to sit on this series-if I had watched it over the weeks, I might have felt the same way. But I watched the entire show in one sitting over the course of a day and I just can’t bring myself to hate it completely. The writing was good, the directing was good, and the acting was so good I think a lot of the show was elevated because of it. This show made me feel so many things. The couples are great with natural chemistry, and the side characters fit so well (there’s never a dull moment with Hao Ting’s friends).  I smiled, I laughed, and of course I cried (#heartbroken). I was sad and upset when episode 10 came around. I wasn’t disappointed once the credits rolled because I was still riding the emotional high of the first nine episodes, but after I had time to sit and think about it, the more disappointed and angry I got. Just like grey rainbow and wise prison life- why did you give me everything I ever wanted and then rip it out from under me? But even so, the first nine eps were great. Does it have its flaws? Well obviously, some things in the show are a little iffy (Hao Ting and Sun Bo practice some problematic behavior at the beginning towards their love interests, that’s where the trigger warning comes in)  and the last episode is a glaring misstep. Do I wish things had ended differently? I think they absolutely should have. Even this ending would have been satisfactory with some proper execution and build up. Overall this show could have cemented itself as one of my favorite shows if not for the last episode, but I really don’t regret watching it, because when it was good?  It was gold.

Out of Breath

Country: Taiwan

Official Links: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLuUQH5CiOw6n9Z0O5ytuQY2EFuvbF_7DX

The Story: Ha Eun has just broken up with her girlfriend when she meets out and proud Min Seo. 

Should you watch?: Yes! 

It’s a short webseries about coming out and no longer wanting to hide who you are. It’s very sweet and realistic. The ladies are cute and their characters are believable. My only complaint is that I wish the show was longer.

Until We Meet Again

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide

Country: Thailand 

Official Links: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPXE51seODgcGxLQF_X5jzQ/playlists

The Story:  Thirty years ago, Korn and Intouch were university students in Bangkok. Intouch entered Korn’s life despite knowing that he was the son of one of the most influential people in Bangkok, the mafia. At first, Korn kept pushing Intouch away, but in the end, he couldn’t resist him. However, in a time where homosexuality was unacceptable and having parents that were against their relationship and each other, Korn and In’s love was bound to be doomed. Amidst the chaos, while Intouch kept on fighting for their future, Korn could not deal with all the suffering his lover was facing and decided to give up. That day, two sounds of a gunshot rang through the air. Their story ended with tragedy, but something had already tied itself between them, bounding them together even after they were dead. 

Years later, a freshly returned to Thailand, Pharm who is a  freshman in T- University has grown up always feeling like he is waiting for someone. Being riddled with sad dreams that always left him waking up with a wet face, fear of loud noises, and a birthmark on his temple, the boy has always felt like there is someone he is missing. Dean, the third year swimming club’s president at T- University has also spent his life searching for someone whose face he can not remember. The red thread of fate that had tied them together in their past life once again pulls the two boys back to each other, tying them to each other and a past that might not be worth remembering, but a love that is unforgettable. Because the red thread that binds the two hearts together will always lead one back to the other. Even though it might tangle or stretch, it will never break.

Should you watch?: 100% yes. 

This show isn’t finished yet, so I’ll just talk about what I’ve seen up to this point. I read a few comments about this show before I watched it and although it was one of the shows I was looking forward to the most, I was skeptical about watching it since the reviews were mixed. Lots of people love it, but there was also an overwhelming about of people saying it was boring and average at best. After watching the 12 episodes that are out, I gotta admit that it’s not perfect. It is a little slow in some parts, some times you feel like you’re watching Thailand’s version of the food network, the director needs to learn when a scene is over, the product placement can be distracting, the kisses are more awkward than I’d like them to be, and that sounds like a lot to be bothered by, but honestly- I love this show. I feel like Until We Meet Again is what happens when a production crew cares more about making a good show rather than making something that fuels the typical bl fan’s fantasies. It has an interesting storyline and it’s well acted. There’s great emotional moments filled with sweetness and sadness. It’s funny and there’s loving and supportive family and friends. A lot of the typical bl drama tropes aren’t involved here. There’s no girlfriends, no portrayals of women as evil incarnate, no cheating, no coercion into sexual activities, or the popular I’m just gay for you crap. I saw on Twitter a while back that someone was asking how they could get bl to branch out-how to reach a larger audience because there’s a lot of people that won’t watch it-this is how you do it. 

[sidecharacter965]

~Ruby Chandelle~

~The basics~

“I like capes!”

Name: Ruby Chandelle Kanji: ルービーションデル Age: 17 Birthday: 20th June (Gemini) Year: 2nd Year at Night Raven College Dorm: Pomfiore Species: Human Gender: Female Sexuality: Questioning, she kinda stays away from romantic relationships anyway

~Appearance~ “Hey hey! Look, I can do this spell!”

Height: 162cm, 5’3 Hair colour: Chocolate brown, worn in a low side bunch tied together with a red or purple ribbon Eye colour: Purple Skin Tone: Pale Piercings or tattoos: None Uniform: The Pomfiorre female uniform, blazer unbuttoned, a loose bow tie, knee length black socks and ankle length school boots.

~Personality~ “Why does everyone care so much about who you like? I have no idea who I am, let alone who I like!”

Positive Traits: Quick learner, free spirited, adaptable, energetic Negative Traits: Annoying, mischievous, sneaky, impulsive, attention-seeking

Ruby is one of the troublemakers of the school along with the ranks of Kalim, Ace and Lilia. She possesses the natural inclination to potions that most Pomfiore students possess, but prefers hexing over everything else. As a result, every Pomfiore student now has to check their products twice to make sure they haven’t been swapped or hexed. If Ruby respects the student, the hexing will only go so far. She doesn't want anyone she likes to think she’s a complete gremlin. Unfortunately for everyone else, there’s no telling how far she’ll go if she can get a good reaction out of them.

Backstory and relationships under the cut!

~Background~

“Hey! I’m not all bad! It was one hex after all!”

As a child, Ruby was raised by her helicopter noble parents. They made all of the decisions for her, and raised her to be “A well-rounded member of society”. Ruby didn’t like this at all, and would often find sneaky ways to defy her parents and their strict rules. Don’t like the dress? Don’t wear it until mother makes you, and then spill something on it!  Ruby’s ability to defy rules and work her way around them became an integral part of her personality, something she could do with little effort or thinking.

 Because Ruby was raised to be a “lady”, she had to sit inside and practice “feminene crafts” and “Proper manners”. Her stitches were huge and wonky, she always dropped her knitting needles. And not to mention she always put her elbows on the table. One day, Ruby’s tutor brought in a book about magic history in the hopes that she would take to it in one last ditch effort to actually teach her something. Absolutely loving it, she asked for more magic lessons. Unfortunately for Ruby, that meant “Bye bye Miss Tutor” whom she had just started warming up to. Her parents made rigorous plans to help get her into Night Raven College, the prestigious magic school. Ruby was very suspicious when her parents started helping her to get into the school, because they had always raised her with the intention that she would marry into a powerful family, minimal spells required. When she asked them about it, they would always reply with: “Never mind that, dear. Just focus on the spell.”

 Ruby was sorted into the Pomfiore dorm, along with Rook Hunt, a boy in her year who would become one of her favourite victims for hexes. As expected from a Pomfiore student, she had a natural skill for potions. Her best subject however, was magic history. (It was the first thing taught to her by her magic tutor) Ruby couldn’t care less about physical activity or riding on a broom. (But the idea of flying still seemed pretty cool to her... But I didn’t say that!) So her worst grades aren't even things she’s bad at. They’re just things she doesn't put in the effort for because she doesn’t care.

 Her fellow students see her as a mischievous student that you shouldn’t mess with. She does have a sort of moral code which sees her lightening the mood for anyone in any stressful situation. Ruby’s peak prank times are during exam time because of this. She has a wide knowledge of magic and her fellow students know this. Sometimes, they wonder if there's much more to her than she's letting on.

~Relationships~

~Family~

Mother: Ruby isn’t on the best terms with her mother but is thankful yet suspicious for her support in pursuing a career in magic. Ruby finds her compliance with her father annoying and wishes her mother would state her own opinions more often.

Father: Hate is too strong a word for how she feels about her father, but it’s not far from it. Ruby Is suspicious about his intentions for why he supports her “decision” to enroll in NRC.

~Dorm mates~

Vil: Ruby’s an annoyance to Vil. I mean, how can she not resist swapping out a few potions here and there? Her favourite ones to swap out are the hair products. Especially the hair dye. Poor Vil was sporting green locks for a good three days before he found a counterspell. He didn’t even attend school during that time.

Rook: Her most tormented victim. However, it never goes further than making his arrows miss the target or cursing him with a frizzy bedhead. They both have a kind of respect for each other. Besides, Ruby knows that Rook could never get angry at her “Pretty face”.

Epel: Ruby finds Epel a bit boring to play pranks on. He doesn’t outwardly react a lot of the time so she just stopped pranking him. She respects him for being calm and composed, unlike her impulsive self. There may be a little jealousy because of that.

~Friends~

Kalim: Ruby easily gets along with this happy-go-lucky student. They both like to have fun and Kalim causes chaos no matter if he means to or not. Also the rich parents- If it involves Ruby, it’s definitely intentional. She wonders how Kalim is able to create chaos no matter what he does.

Lilia: They’re both powerful in their own right and don’t really bother using their magic seriously. Lilia’s clever sense of humor and wit appeals to her. Prank buddies. And short people club

Ace: Kalim, Lilia and Ruby kind of brought him into the group. They always invite him to help prank students and are more than happy to help him plot more pranks against Riddle and Vil study. They “Recruited” him into the squad when he was bold enough to laugh after they put a hex on Riddle’s tarts. (They sprouted little legs and ran away)

Rook: Again, one of her most tormented victims. The two are more like frenemies, but they really respect each other deep down. Ruby just really needs to control her impulse to hex the arrows. Just one more time… It’ll be the last one. Honest. 

Floyd: Same year, laidback individuals just looking for some fun. They met when the Leech brothers appeared to her in the hopes that they could rope her into a contract with Azul. Ruby refused and they left her. Later that day, they had a potions class together and got to pick their partners. Floyd made a beeline for her- asking if she still didn’t want to sign the contract- as a joke. One thing led to another and they became joke buddies. They don’t hang out as much due to their different schedules, but they always crack some kind of inside joke when they pass each other in the halls.

~Enemies~

Riddle: It was one hex. One hex for crying out loud. Now, Ruby’s permanently uninvited from any and all tea parties in Heartslabyul. What did she do? She hexed Riddles (Famous) tarts so they would sprout tiny legs and run away from the tea party. Ruby still owes Trey BIG TIME for getting her out of that mess.

Vil: Well it’s no surprise that Ruby gets on the perfectionist’s nerves. She’s lazy, and impulsive and she had the AUDACITY to replace his hair dye!!!

Jack: The dude just doesn’t have time for her antics and has threatened her on many accounts. She tends to stay away from Savannaclaw anyway because everyone there actually intimidates her. Apart from Ruggie, and that’s only because he’s a fellow member of the short people club.

Sebek: As a joke with the help of Lilia, Ruby organised a party for the whole school and “accidentally” didn't invite Malleus. Lilia took the brunt of his anger and Ruby just suffered a telling off from Sebek and Silver. She retaliated with smart alec replies. Long story short, Sebek low-key hates her now.

Jamil: He does not like the effect she is having on Kalim. There are frequent arguments between the two, but there's an unspoken rule that they never fight when Kalim is around. Gotta protec the cinnamon roll

~Trivia~

- Upon her acceptance into NRC, Ruby’s parents sent her off immediately in a carriage with a trunk full of clothes they had chosen for her. The trunk lies in her dorm cupboard, undisturbed since day one.

- Ruby never speaks of her parents unless specifically asked about them. Even then she disregards them. “They just helped me get here. I don’t really like ‘em.”

- Her favourite person to hex is Rook, and that is the only reason those arrows keep missing the targets in archery practice.

- Ruby’s favourite dessert is raspberry panna cotta, she has a real sweet tooth.

- Chandelle means “Candle” in french.

- She originally had two hair bunches instead of one, but I decided only having one would look sassier and add more interest to her design.

- Because of her helicopter parents, Ruby needs to feel in control of situations. It stems from the frustration and insecurities of never having any choices in her life. Hexing and pranking is one of the ways she does this.

- She experienced a lot of emotional neglect from her parents, so Ruby finds it hard to express herself emotionally. This is the reason she is impulsive and rather vocal.

- Secretly really insecure please give this child a hug she will appreciate it.

- She likes capes. Like, a lot. Also, long hair. Literally anything long and swishy. There is much dramatic cape action with this child.

Oof sorry for kind of being all over the place and really long-

I’m going to bed now...

[pastryseungs]

On Children (2018)

Creator: Wú Xiao-le

Dir. Chen Wei-ling

⚠️ Spoilers !! ⚠️

very long post ahead~

i recently watched this Taiwanese show on Netflix and it gives me Black Mirror vibes as well! i relate to this show so much that some have made me ugly cry lmao. its so weird and entertaining that some leave you silent and zoning out for a few minutes after each episode ends :<

Ep. 1 Mother’s Remote

dude this episode was honestly so sad and infuriatingggg. believe it or not though, some parents just actually want the best for their children and their future, but some actually take it too far.. like this one.

Pei Wei’s parents are going through a divorce where Wei (Tzu-Chuan Liu) ends up living with his mother (Yu-Xuan Wang). after forging the signatures on his report card and manipulating his grades, Wei’s mother restarts his day with a remote to give him the chance to “fix” his mistakes. he is eventually pulled out from school to attend cram school.. ten times to pay for what he did. eventually, when it slightly goes back to normal, he meets a girl named Lan (Hsin-Yu) and the two immediately became friends because of their love for art.. which also immediately blossomed into puppy-love after a month.

Wei’s mother eventually catches the two at the library and treats them out to lunch, before banning Wei from seeing the girl again. he fights back, which sends him back to the day before he was about to meet Lan for the first time. but Lan doesn’t recognize him at all, which led him to countless suicide attempts which were all reversed by his mom’s remote. the line, “How many times do I have to do this?” hurts me so much, he just wanted to be free and happy and his mother just can’t give him that all because of bad grades.. damn..

the scene cuts and changes to a few years later with Wei as an adult.. at first i thought he actually was still with Lan but it turns out it was another woman :< that night, Wei is asked by his mother to go out for dinner and he meets Riley, the daughter of his mother’s friend. the two talk for awhile, Riley revealing that she was actually in a relationship that her family knows but doesn’t accept and Wei revealing that he’s also in a relationship as well.

Wei then buys an airplane ticket for his mother, and went to his mother’s house to retrieve the remote. with his mother forgetting her passport at home, her taxi goes back to her house and sees Wei across the street, holding the remote.

this scene was actually so sad for me, because the last part was Wei going back in time when he met Lan. i actually felt like Lan’s the person that gave Wei a sense of freedom when he felt suffocated/drowned by his mother’s strict attitude towards him. you can actually see the longing in his eyes when he went back there.. gosh i was so sad when this episode ended. this one’s actually one of my favorite episodes !! the open ending led me to believe that Wei and Lan actually ended up together and lived happily ever after~ 😤💗

Ep. 2 Child of the Cat

after failed attempts at getting good grades, Guo-yan (Hsiu-Fu Liu) meets a girl named Lo Chih-Wei (Yu-Ping Wang) after seeing her having a nervous breakdown and harassing another student, she then tells him about some sort of parallel universe and that it offers them something to kill in exchange for intelligence. Guo-yan then develops this delusion after killing their house cats with cat food mixed with rat poison.. he then starts succeeding in his academics, even announcing his perfect score in his mock exam during his grandfather’s funeral.

the line, “Why must you impose all you want on me?” was so sad.. his parents were putting him under so much pressure, even extending his tutoring hours just to make him study harder and try to pass the exams. but at that point, it was too late, his tutor informed his mother that he needed to see a psychiatrist since he might be going through something, but his mother was indenial, thinking that his son was alright and that he was probably just the typical lazy teenager, which was not the case. he was already asking for help through his actions !! even going as far as making his mother find a non-existent noisy cat to take care of during his exams because he couldn’t concentrate.

this episode kind of frustrates me because Guo-yan’s mother listens too much to their relatives/in-laws advices and criticisms that she doesn’t listen or even bat an eye when her son is literally going through something. the ending was somewhat happy though, with Guo-yan learning how to do carpentry and building their own shop maybe?

Ep. 3 The Last Day of Molly

to be honest, this one made me ugly cry :< you’ll never really know until its too late, huh? Molly’s mom (Ivy Yin) probably won’t know that she was the reason behind Molly’s demise if it wasn’t for that machine/gadget.

Molly (Gingle Wang) had a lot to offer in their world with her writing talent. sadly, in order to save face, she was too obedient about the fact that her mother wanted to enroll her to Medical school and make her get a degree in another country. she was the highest-ranking student in their school, which made her mother have high expectations for her. she disapproved of everything she did, saying that a job wouldn’t be suitable for her and that she has to work hard in order to work a certain job. it just baffles me how much some parents think its their choice to choose their child’s career path .-.

the saddest part was when Molly’s mother found out that she had caused this mess. the guilt literally made her feel like she should be behind bars for the rest of her life, and that Molly would want that too. her demise was probably the best revenge she could think of, since she resented her mother for making her study and focus on things that she thinks will make her rich in the future.

i felt so sad for Molly’s sister, Kelly, because she was already expected to follow in her sister’s footsteps, even going so far as extending her tutoring hours while she was still dealing with grief. personally, i wouldn’t be able to do so until i already feel better and moved on a little. its hard to deal with grief especially when you’re so used to seeing that person all the time, which is why i somehow understand their pain.

honestly though, i can’t help but ugly cry during the part when Molly says, “Mom, I love you and I’m sorry.” if it wasn’t for Molly’s death, her mother wouldn’t realize that she was taking her children and their family for granted.. damn.

Gingle Wang is such a great actor !! she also kinda looks like Minnie from G-Idle too! :>

Ep. 4 Peacock

always be careful what you wish for. tbh, this episode was really weird and scary for me. Qiao-Yi (Yu-Xuan Wang) was ready to risk it all just to get everything she had always dreamed of, which included her sight, her talent for painting, seeing colors, and her appearance. she was literally turning into a peacock just to get help her family stay afloat and help her enter a good college and stay in school to be rewarded as their donor.

her school, Victor, was really weird as well. students were not allowed to ask questions during class, which led to students literally isolating another student in class because she was curious.. no wonder some are having a hard time in their class. the school was full of self-centered, snobby brats that only cared if you’re rich or have something luxurious to offer, it was honestly so weird for me. i’d hate to experience that kind of environment, i probably wouldn’t last three days.

if i was in her situation, i’d probably want to fit in with the others as well if it meant being less lonely and having someone to talk to even if everything you talk about is too shallow for your liking. it was just so sad that they were willing to trade anything just for a good life and financial stability, which led to Qiao-Yi’s mom (Chiung-Hsuan Hsieh) as the peacock in exchange for Qiao-Yi’s and her brother in their parents’ (or maybe just her mother?) dream schools.

Ep. 5 ADHD is Necessary

it was just so wrong for the Ruo-wa’s mother (Chuan Chen Yeh) to make her daughter fake a mental illness to help them continue living a lavish lifestyle, which eventually led to Ruo-wa’s (Frances Wu) demise.

Ruo-wa’s mother wanted nothing but for Ruo-wa to achieve and maintain a high-rank in terms of intelligence. but, you see, Ruo-wa isn’t exactly the best in terms of academics, the girl was so focused in school that she doesn’t even know what she’s really great at! her mother was so desperate for both of them- mostly her, to stay afloat that she would make her daughter detailed and organized notes to help her study, to help them keep the lavish lifestyle, because she couldn’t accept the reality that they had to live at the Pigeon Cage because of Ruo-wa’s intelligece. she also did this for her late son, which caused her to be awarded for having a high-ranking son, which also led to his demise. all this time, she thought that her son had died from a car crash, but he was actually destroyed for having a low rank and wanting to be a carpenter.

also, i can’t help but point out that they look like characters from the movie Divergent (2014). they literally look like they belong in Abnegation/Candor/Erudite lmao. and people who are being sent to the Pigeon Cage were Amity/Factionless/Divergent, since they were all special and talented in their own ways and they knew how to farm; sadly, they don’t belong in the real world. i was also so happy when i saw Wei, Lan, Guo-yan, Kelly, and Qiao-Yi !! like, at least they were saved from their parents’ grasps and they’re now free to do whatever they desire.

i was so sad when the police went there and trashed everything, killing the children that weren’t even bothering anybody just because they were low-ranking and weren’t doing their part in the community. in the end, it was Ruo-wa’s mother that had the last laugh and it was just so infuriating for me.. i wanted her to have the karma !! not Ruo-wa’s demise !! 😤

the place in order and everyone was at peace and getting along, why did she have to ruin it all for them? and why did Ruo-wa had to be destroyed ??? i feel like i could compare this to Divergent people ?? since they’re different and they’re being destroyed for not belonging somewhere.. like a Divergent person.

wellll that ends my post !! also, if this is what eventually happens to technology, then imma head out ✌️😗

[dxmedstudent]

Hi dx, I'm starting med school this fall and moving to Ireland to do so! Ive got chronic fatigue though and Im worried about being able to manage the workload. Im on meds so I'm doing pretty well, working 10 hour days rn with a 2 hour commute, but im pretty drained at the end of it. Have you or any of your followers got any suggestions for handling med school when youre just so tired all the time?

And another ask:Hi, following on from the anon asking about studying, do you have any specific tips for studying medicine with chronic fatigue? I find sitting in lectures (and the journey to and from) drains me even more than I am usually. Thanks and have a great day!            Hey, peeps! So I have someone important in my life who has gone through a chronic fatigue condition in med school. I’ve seen a lot through what they went through, but I wanted to be able to give a more useful answer. I took a little time to think, and to ask them what advice they would give.  They gave me permission to share an edited version with you.

It is possible to get through medical school with chronic health problems. Don’t let other people tell you otherwise. You may encounter people who doubt you, but never let them get to you. Remember that many people with chronic illness have achieved great things and it doesn’t have to be a barrier to  success. 

There is usually a way to get through whatever obstacle comes up. The key is to take everything literally one day at a time, and do not get overwhelmed by thinking about all the demands for the year at once. Focus on what needs to be done right now. Next week is another     week. 

Let  yourself have setbacks, and don’t give up when you have worse periods of health. There will be times when you’re more tired and stressed, but you have to give yourself space to recover back from that. Remember that everyone, whatever their health status, has bad times, and that usually they will pass. If things aren’t getting better, talk to your family, friends, personal tutor at university.  Seek help with clincians.

Keep in touch with your fatigue clinicians and be open about new obstacles and your fears about things. They can help with a lot of problem-solving aspects and support you during times of difficulty. They are also useful to rant to when you are stressed out as they know a lot about the problems of people with CFS who they’ve seen in clinical practice. 

Consider reading books on CBT and acceptance commitment therapy (ACT) - these have really helped me through psychologically difficult situations and build resilience when medical school has thrown difficult things at me. In the hardest year of medical school it really helped to have written advice to look at when various situations came up. 

Tell the university (occupational health, senior tutor, personal tutor etc.) - I cannot stress this enough. It is confidential, and they have to   accommodate you because it is a disability. This can become really important if you have issues completing sign-offs/assignments on time, getting hospital placements closer to home, getting extra time in exams etc. It can also be useful if you have problems with exams (not being well enough to do a sitting) for the university to know what is going on and how best they can help you. If they do not know what is going on, then they cannot help you. This is one of the best things I did at medical school in terms of having a safety net for when things were more difficult. 

Do not feel you have to attend 100% of everything. If you are feeling very   fatigued and not gaining much by that point in the day, it is usually     better to go home and do some quality studying at home. So many students who have no health problems will go home early, so do not feel guilty for doing so when you feel fatigued and like you’re not having a good day. Just remember to catch up what you’ve missed. 

Talk to the students in the year above about what the demands of the coming year are like, what the exams are like, what textbooks/resources to use,  and other *off the record* tips which the university would never tell you. This will help you out in planning how to approach the work for that year. It is very important to know what you’re preparing for and the best way in which to do it. 

On placement, talk to the teaching fellow/head of the placement if you have any issues completing tasks or sign-offs etc. They can help you and give you advice about how to get things done. This has been of great comfort to me during placements where sign-offs have been very tricky and I’ve worried about whether or not I will complete everything. Also ask how previous students did it - you’re not the first cohort who’s gone through the system. 

Let yourself adjust the intensity of your concentration when attending     lectures/seminars. Some days you’ll be able to be at your highest level of     functioning, and other days you may feel less functional.  Your levels might look something like:

Highest  level: concentrate/listen, participate/answer questions, write down notes.

Medium: concentrate/listen, no writing or participating.

Low: zoning out some of the time (5 mins etc), prioritising more important slides or mentally checking in again when possible. 

Use breaks during lecture days to really give yourself a breather. It is best to physically leave the space where the lecture took place, ideally go to a canteen and have a snack (food and drink are very important for boosts), or go outside (fresh air is important). Let your brain truly wonder and do  something not related to university or teaching. Don’t hang around with peers unless they talk about things which are less brain intensive or   non-university topics. 

Take on a reasonable workload during group assignments, and don’t let other students foist extra work or their work on you. Be strict about your role and that you will not do their work for them. 

E-books (textbooks) - either download pdfs and upload on google drive etc. or buy on kindle etc. This is VERY useful for reading and studying whilst out and  about for medical school, and fitting in revision during parts of the day which are empty/less busy. There are often quite a few times where you will be waiting around between teaching/clinics/hospital activities and if you use your time wisely you can really get a lot done. You can also read on public transport when commuting which is a good use of that time too.This becomes especially important close to exams where time management is key. This is one of the best things I did. 

Pacing - plan for deadlines in advance. If you have sign offs/essays/histories to do, space them out and plan everything in advance. Make a plan and stick to it, but be flexible enough to change things around if you don’t feel up to doing a particular task on that day. Make sure it is realistic personal timetable, and has time for you to attend university, study and complete assignments/sign-offs, as well as relaxation/social time.

 If you feel you are doing too much, cut back and do the bare minimum of what you need to do. Whilst it is nice to aim high and everyone at medical school is crazy competitive, the aim is to pass and go into the next year, and complete the degree. Scraping passes = still a doctor. Many people forget this, but the priority is to get by and become a competent doctor. You are doing what you can do, and you don’t need to get a Distinction in all your exams to be a good doctor. 

Do  not feel guilty for not being able to work as hard necessarily as other   students can all the time. Be proud of yourself for being there and for     doing something so difficult as medical school in the first place. Medical     school is very hard even for people who do not have any problems with     their health. There is really nothing wrong with coasting along and doing    just what needs to be done. It can be frustrating to not be able to do     more, but tell yourself that you’ve done your 100% which is all you can     give at this current time. Sometimes you’ll be able to do more, and     sometimes you’ll be able to do less. But don’t feel guilty about it. Know     that you are doing your best and that’s all that you can do. 

Similarly, everyone feels they are not doing enough/like they don’t know enough. Doctors on placements will also occasionally have a go at you, not  realising that actually for your level you do know enough. You may feel you like you’re not enough, but the truth is that everyone feels like     that. Many people at med school act like everything’s fine but underneath  the surface, we’re all working very hard and tired. 

You     are not alone - many people at med school have either physical or mental     health problems. They are all also battling through the challenges and you     are not alone in your difficulties. Remind yourself of that and know that     everyone is on their own journey/battle. 

Believe in the work-life balance Pie chart - Everyone should ideally have equal time in their day dedicated to 1/3  cognitive, 1/3 self care and 1/3 social activity. In med school, the latter two may fall back a bit even for students with no health problems, but it is very important for these things to be done consistently during med school. “If you can’t look after yourself, you won’t be able to look after other people”. The only way you can achieve your goals and look after patients etc is by looking after yourself (with the pie chart) and keeping yourself in the best health possible. 

Cognitive:studying, reading, academic extracurriculars, any activity where the mind is actively involved. 

Self care: pampering yourself, hobbies, leisure activities, exercise/yoga,     playing with pets, praying/worship etc. 

Social: going out with family or friends. Relationships. Support groups.     Societies/clubs etc. 

Join  support groups either in real life or on Facebook - it is really useful to have somewhere to rant about issues which specifically affect people with  CFS/ME, and to have their support when you have a hard day. Family and friends will not always understand everything you’re going through, even with the best of intentions, so it’s important to have peers with CFS/ME on those occasions. 

Don’t be afraid to turn down going out or doing extra things in the day if     you’re really not up to it. Better to keep yourself at a functioning level     than overdoing it because you feel you *should* be doing something. It’s    best to be honest with yourself about what you can do today. 

Learn to say no - if other people ask you to do things and you are feeling   overwhelmed at the time from work/personal life, do not feel bad about     saying no if you have reached your limit of how much you can cope. Do not  feel guilty about this, and realise that it is crucial to not take on too     much at once, in looking after your health for your ability to get through     medical school. People can and will ask you to do things either not     realising that it’s over your coping limits or not caring. You have to learn to put yourself first and forward and know your limits - it is not worth the payback which can inevitably happen when we overdo our limits.     Medical school does not give you a lot of time to rest or recover, so you     really have to make sure you keep yourself functional and within your     limits. 

Work  steadily during the year - if you have fatigue then you cannot leave   things last minute and cope with the physical and mental stress of this.     Make sure you are making notes and keeping up during the year, and     increase your revision before exams to a comfortable level. Be careful not  to overdo it in terms of number it hours a day, as most likely you will     lose your concentration and not absorb the information anyway. Best to do revision in chunks, with breaks and other things to break up the day. If the next day you get payback, it’s a sign to dial back the number of hours of revision. Even if you’re doing less hours of revision than you planned, if you’re better focused and rested you will pick up more information.     “Quality not quantity”. 

I hope this helps! Good luck with your studies, and I hope that things go well for you in the coming year.

[heartbreaker-johnny]

Haechan-TATBILB

Fourth installment to the To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before series. Also inspired by a prompt by @nurseysderek and posted by @dailyau !

Genre: angst if you squint, fluff

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On nights it rained, I took the bus to my apartment. One of the perks working nights at the shop was that no one was usually at the bus stop. I usually caught the last bus of the night and on occasion I would be joined on the bus by a few other people, but for the most part I was alone. It was hardly ever the same bus driver so there was no one to make small talk with. For the most part I sat in the back, headphones in, watching the lights of the city go by.

There was one night however, that changed. It was my freshman year in college, I had been working at the shop for a few months. It had been pouring for a few hours so the streets were long deserted. I had borrowed an umbrella from the shop, locked the doors and headed to the bus stop. My headphones were in per usual, listening to the rainy day mix I had made, currently playing Roger Rabbit by Sleeping With Sirens. The bus didn’t arrive for another twenty minutes or so, so I had plenty of time to sit and enjoy the rain.

I arrived at the sheltered bus stop to see my plans were slightly changed. There was a boy sitting on one end of the bench, his knees pulled to his chest, his honey chestnut hair soaked, water droplets dripped off the ends as his head was buried in his arms. He didn’t look up as I sat at the other end of the bench. I shrugged to myself and closed the umbrella and paid attention to the song.

Another two songs passed and the boy hadn’t moved. I had started to think he fell asleep until silence fell between songs. I heard small sounds, quiet sobs, almost inaudible thanks to the rain. I paused my music and took out my headphones and sat like that a few more moments, listening to him sob softly. I wasn’t sure if he knew I was there or cared, but I really didn’t want to ignore him until the bus came, it didn’t feel right. I mean what if he was hurt or something?

I cleared my throat, loud enough to be noticed. The crying stopped but he didn’t move. If he wanted help, he would have looked up. I knew where to direct things.

“Clever to do that out here in the rain.” I said. “No one would question the wet face and it’s hard to hear. Guess I kind’ve ruined your plan.”

The boy slowly raised his head and looked over at me. His eyes were puffy and bloodshot, his chubby cheeks were as soaked as his hair was and his dark skin was red. His lip still quivered a bit but his face showed a mixture of annoyance and confusion, not sadness.

“So...do you wanna talk about it? Or did you just want to continue until the bus comes?” I asked him, a soft smile on my lips.

“Does it look like I want to talk about it?” He spat at me, his eyes narrowing at me.

I shrugged.

“Does anyone really want to talk about what makes them leave somewhere warm to cry in the rain? Might do more good than you think.” I told him.

“You a shrink or something?” He asked, skeptical.

I chuckled.

“Nah, just someone who’s been through some shit.”

He looked me over again before looking away into the street. I thought he was just planning on ignoring me the rest of the time until he spoke again.

“You ever feel like you’re drowning and there’s tons of people around and they can see it happen but they just ask you why you don’t know how to swim instead of tossing you a life jacket?” He asked quietly, still watching the rain.

I thought back to my high school days, the break up, my first few months at college. There were a lot of people I had that comforted me during those times, but sometimes it felt as if they were frustrated that I didn’t already know how to get out of my slump. Like they thought I wanted to be in that dark place.

I slowly nodded.

“They think you’re just flopping around for attention but you can feel the water starting to fill your lungs the more they look at you.” I said.

“Yeah. Something like that.” He said.

“Care to explain?” I offered.

He thought for a moment, probably wondering if he was really about to pour his heart out to a stranger. Apparently he was.

“I’m a failure. Everyone has expectations of me and I try my hardest to meet them but all this pressure has begun to kill me. My parents expect me to go to the college they went to but there’s one I really want into. They’re on my ass so much my grades have slipped and at this rate the school will never take me. I can’t hang out with friends because they have their shit together and seeing them all so happy makes me freak out more because I’m not there. There’s so much riding on these next three months and the pressure is just too much and I’m breaking.”

Fresh tears had fallen from his eyes as he spoke. I remembered what it was like during your senior year, freaking out, thinking you weren’t going to graduate, wondering if the school you picked was really the one you wanted, desperately trying to figure out a major on top of that. All while your friends still want to hang out because they think it’s the last time you’ll ever see each other, and for most of them it is. You dread waking up in the morning just to go to class but you know if you don’t you could be ruining the rest of your life. It’s one giant double edged sword and you are the clumsiest swordsman that ever lived.

“What do you wanna be?” I asked him.

“A music teacher. I just really love music and I want it forever. The school I like, the music program is no joke.” He explained.

“And your parents?”

“They want a business school. They want me to be like my dad. I can’t do that, I can’t just be another copy of a person. I have to be myself or I’ll suffocate.”

“So tell them that. Tell them that music is what gives you life and makes you want to wake up in the morning. And if they still don’t get that, tell them about this. That you’d rather talk to a stranger about your dreams than your own parents. That you literally walked the streets crying in the rain, fearing an unhappy future. Parents think they always know best but there comes a time when you’re the one who knows what’s best for you, not them. If that school and music is what’s best for you then do it. Go for a scholarship, show them it’s something you can do and are good at. Sometimes all people need is a little proof that it’s all worth it.”

“I’m already so behind in school. I don’t know if I have enough time to catch up to a scholarship.” He sighed.

“Trust me, if you start working now, you’ll get in. Work with your counselor, they’ll let you know if anything is still available and how you can get it. Get a tutor if you need to to catch up. Don’t let this pass by or you’ll regret it forever.” I assured him.

The bus slowly rolled up to the stop and we both got on and sat on opposite sides of the back seats.

“You seem to know what you’re talking about.” The boy said, his high voice clearer now, out of the rain.

“Told you, I’ve been through some shit. Not quite the same way you have but my parents fought my major too. Once I showed them how happy it made me and that I was good at it, they just got it. I was prepared to do whatever it took, even if it meant doing it without their support. And maybe that’s something you’ll have to do. But you just have to remember, it’s all worth is as long as you get to be yourself.”

I smiled at him.

We sat in silence, him pondering over my words, me watching the city lights. He got off at my stop, though it was obvious he didn’t live around me. I was ready to go on my way when he stopped me.

“What’s your name?”

“Y/N. You?”

“Donghyuck, but my friends call me Haechan.”

“It’s nice to meet you Donghyuck. Maybe I’ll see you around.” I said turning to leave.

“You really think I can do it?” He called after me.

“I don’t know, can you?” I called back, not bothering to turn around.

I saw Haechan two weeks later at the same bus stop. He told me he had talked to his parents like I had suggested and they were going to accept the career path he wanted if he managed to get into the college he wanted on his own. His counselor had found a music scholarship he qualified for but he was going to have to get his grades up to earn it. I agreed to help him with what subjects I could and he had another friend who was going to help with the subjects I sucked at. He met at the shop a few times a week for tutoring and sometimes Jungwoo would come in and help me when I had a heavier work load.

There were many nights when he wanted to give up. He didn’t think he was smart enough or talented enough or worth all the fuss, but after a few smacks upside the head and talking him down, he would put his nose to the stone again and work even harder.

The week of graduation came around and Haechan sent me an invitation to his party in the mail. The countless all nighters, the dozens of canned coffees, the tears and frustration were all worth it. I had unfortunately come down with a bad flu the day of his graduation party but that didn’t stop him from sneaking out of the party to come to my apartment with soup and the news that he had been accepted to the school he had wanted to attend on full scholarship. He beamed so brightly that day it was like I was looking at the sun.

A few months later when college started up again, Mark and I were waking through the courtyard, talking about our schedules and how we were going to fit in studying with our jobs when I heard him.

“Y/N!”

I looked up to see Haechan running to me at full speed.

He embraced me, knocking me off balance, but he held me and kept me from falling over.

“Hi Hyuckie, nice to see you too.” I laughed at his excitement.

“You didn’t tell me this was the school you went to!” He said, pulling back.

“You never asked.”I said, rolling my eyes.

“Wait, Y/N how do you know Haechan?” Mark asked me.

“She’s the one I told you about Hyung! She’s the girl who tutored me.” Haechan explained to him.

“Wait, how do you guys know each other?” I asked, confused. Neither had mentioned each other before.

“Mark and I went to school together. He was who tutored me in the subjects you didn’t like.” Haechan smiles at both of us.

“Were we both really tutoring the same kid this whole time and didn’t know?” I asked my best friend.

“Wow for two smart people you guys really are idiots.” Haechan shrugged.

“Hey we got your ass in here didn’t we?” Mark said as I smacked Haechan’s arm.

“That’s right, and now you’re screwed because you’re stuck with me every day now.” Haechan smiles brightly, making us both groan.

Despite his savage needs to give us shit all the time, Haechan really was like the sun. No one was brighter than him. Sometimes you just needed someone to believe in you and let you know you’re worth it. Otherwise, you let the clouds cover your rays.

[miccatepoztli]

XIMENA’S RP PLOTTING CHEAT-SHEET

Want new-and-exciting plots for your character? Long to reach out to more of your followers, but don’t know where to start? Fear not! Fill out this form and give your RP partners both present and future all the of juicy jumping off points they need to help you get your characters acquainted.

Be sure to tag the players whose characters YOU want more cues to interact with, and repost, don’t reblog! Feel free to add or remove sections as you see fit. Template here.

Mun name: mónika OOC Contact: DMs or discord (available upon request!)

who the heck is my muse anyway:

Ximena is a young brujeria practicing witch who was ~*mysteriously*~ spirited away from her home at age 5 with no memory of her past or self. Raised in the restricted environment of an abbey among sympathetic but uncaring sisters, she’s quite prim and proper to the public eye, but cares very little about the rules of society or her place in it.

She is also a ridiculously smart little girl. She will grow into a terrifyingly smart woman. With secrets sewn into her skin and a powerful network of magical creatures at her fingertips.

points of interest:

She’s very willing to learn and perform “dark” magicks, and can often be found reading questionable books and tomes of various subjects regarding the art. If you came at her with the offer to summon a demon together, she would be hooked almost immediately (though cautious, of course)

Near the middle of her adolescence, she begins to dabble in potioneering and finds herself very skilled at it. Through a questionable network of fellow witches, creatures, jealous ex-wives, and the like, she develops a steady stream of loyal customers and builds upon her craft.

Once reunited with her family, she is a part of a long reaching, long lasting network of witches and brujas that have lived in their forest for centuries. Perhaps millennia. The forest in which their home resides is an inter-dimentional one where time doesn’t always work properly (whatever ‘properly’ is).

Like her, her current living family is cursed with painful and involuntary immortality, alongside a few other choice effects. Ximena can die from just about anything, but she will always return after a brief visit with death: her body will take time to rebuild itself. She can stall her return to her living body if she wishes, but she can never permanently rest unless the curse is broken.

A by-product of her curse is her unending ache to know. To learn about everything she can possibly get her hands on: magic, languages, plants, mathematics, space, everything. Her hunger for knowledge cannot be satiated until she learns enough about a certain branch of magic...

Ximena literally does not care about the problem of people outside of herself and her loved ones. She’ll spare a moment of sympathy for the sake of her humanity, but she will not go out of her way to help unless she can get something out of it such as personal vindication or some rare item. Occasionally she will help others out of sheer curiosity, but it’s rare.

what they’ve been up to recently:

Making friends with demons of other cultures! From India @marakama​ to China @fwm-gsm​ to Korea @roanarch​ --She’s gatherin up them demonic business cards and seeing what she can trade for information or rare items.

Learning how to communicate with the dead successfully and without accidentally summoning a legion of the undead. Whoops! No necromancy here, she just wants to talk to her ancestors to see why the fuck she’s cursed and who she is!

Training her corvid friends to send messages and retrieve items using whistles and tongue clicks.

Forgetting her place around adults she doesn’t trust and asking suspicious questions about black magic that could set off some red flags--But her interest is purely academic! She swears! And lies.

where to find them:

Croydon - If in her early stages of life (5-13 ish), Ximena can be found wandering around the abbey where she grew up in, or around the streets of London. She has a reputation for being a wallflower and very meek and polite.

Mexico - At age 14, Ximena is unofficially adopted by local Vampire Dad, Salazar @deoscuridad​ and taken with the rest of his misfit family to Mexico, where her magic has never been stronger, and her search for her family has never been closer. Find her at the library, markets, docks, and museums taking in her culture.

Forests - The aforementioned inter-dimentional forest leads to every forest in the world (and in others). So if one is talking a walk or run among the woods, it’s entirely plausible to find Ximena (ages 14 and up) on your journey. She’ll be picking mushrooms, documenting flora, performing dangerous summoning seances, and taking naps.

Other Locations - Hogwarts is a plausible place to locate her (in the proper HP aus where she has British citizenship and is thus allowed to attend) from ages 12-16, as that is when she is withdrawn by her father. Bookshops of all sorts are another, as she quite enjoys traveling.

current plans:

Eat some fish

Find her family, if she has one

Learn about herself and her past

Become a fourth level mage (highest tier)

Collect information and knowledge from every possible source.

desired interactions:

Ximena asking [muse] to watch over her body as she performs some dark summoning shit, allowing a demon/spirit/etc. to possess her body

[Muse] accidentally witnesses or just straight up accidentally (or purposefully!) murders Ximena in a really stupid and/or violent way, freaks out, cleans up/hides the body or runs away. They, of course, find Ximena just fine the next day/week. [Muse] can publicly freak out or demand answers, and Ximena just “yeah man, that happens sometimes, no hard feelings, jaja” and tries to brush it off.

Ximena being in a stiff upper lip environment while at a big fancy party and trying desperately to both appear normal/well adapted and also not attract any attention–but of course she’s asked to dance or give a speech.

Her fully exploring why it is that dark magic resonates so nicely with her. is it her nature? heritage? genetics? idk, but let’s test it out by trying some old school hardcore black magicks. Preferably! With a mentor muse.

On a fluffier (or more dramatic, if you’re like me) note: Ximena teaching someone how to dance.

A Coraline AU

Any sort of AU taking place in a dystopia like The Giver or The Hunger Games.

Offered interactions:

Uhh, gestures above?

As stated in my rules, I do not ship unless I know you personally OCC because it just makes it easier to establish relationship dynamics, but that doesn’t mean nothing can naturally develop or a muse can’t develop feelings for Ximena. It just means I have trust issues with people fetishizing the color of my characters’ skin! And if I know you OOC, there’s less of a chance of that happening!!

Honestly, just kill her, it’s fine. If the thread is going that way, it’s ok. She’ll be back. Very angry or scared or frustrated, but she will be fine! Don’t be weird about it though.

She’s a good tutor in all verses, even the ones where she plays dumb! Have her help out one of your muses in any subject!

She’s a very naturally curious person who, if allowed, will plow someone with questions til exhaustion. Have her ask your muse some things to help sort something out!

On that same vein, they could be penpals! Ximena is always writing to other peoples across the globe for knowledge!

current open post/s:

Anything under the /prompt tag and /ic tag!

anything else?:

my discord is open to mutuals if you wanna talk about ideas/concerns/questions!! arróz con babe #8991

tagging: ...u

tagged by: lol i stole it from a random blog