#even are.. i thought for a while it was probably the grader but there’s only one grader and apparently multiple GAs going off of what i

[pallases]

engineering tutoring session room is once again abandoned 😐🔪

[apomaro-mellow]

Hot for Teacher(s) 3

Part 2 / AO3 Link

After school practices for the Thanksgiving performance was only for the students who wanted to put a little more time into it. Apparently a bulk of the rehearsal happened during their music class and that made sense. Still, Steve was glad to put a face to some of the kids his son mentioned. The first night there had been a girl who's lip trembled at the slightest upset and Steve knew that had to be Yasmin.

"She's a crybaby who cries over everything", Shawn had said one time.

"Hm, need I remind you of all the times you've cried? Why I remember just last week-"

"We don't need to talk about that", Shawn said, properly chastised.

Even so, Steve could see how it could get a little frustrating to be in a class with someone as sensitive as that. And yet, Mr. Munson never let on that he was frustrated or anything like that. Every time the tears came, he talked her down. Which was quite the feat since he had probably been doing it for eight hours at this point.

"You're really good with the kids", Steve complimented when Mr. Munson took a seat near them to rest.

Third grade was working on their performance piece on the stage now while the smaller kids got a break. Mr. Munson smiled a bit as he scratched at his head.

"Yeah, well, patience is key, as I'm sure you know. Actually, how old are the kids you teach?", he asked.

"Middle school", Steve answered, laughing a little when he saw the other teacher's eyes get wide in fear.

"Braver than any marine, I swear. I will take spilt milk tears over the raging hormones going on over there."

Steve's brain decided to highlight the word 'hormones' which made him delayed in his response. He cleared his throat to try and cover it up. "It's not as bad as all that. I've got the babies of middle school, the sixth graders, but don't tell them I said that. And I'm lucky I've got a group there that's absolutely obsessed with science."

He met Mr. Munson's eyes and was met with a million watt smile. One that he knew was on his own face too.

"That's the best feeling, ain't it? When they wanna soak up as much as you can give?"

"The best", Steve agreed. It wasn't always candy and roses but it was all worth it for those days when everything just clicked. "Speaking of passions, did you get that approval for your ideas for the show?"

"They said I could play guitar, but they vetoed my pyrotechnics idea."

That night, Mr. Munson walked him and Shawn back to their car. And as such, became a routine for two days out of the week. Through it all, Steve commended himself for only drooling a little over him and only when he was alone.

At home, one Saturday, Shawn was humming his class' song while Steve made them lunch. He looked to the calendar and realized the show would be that coming Monday. Well, he knew that but it hit him that in less than a week, Thanksgiving break would start and then there wouldn't be much of a reason for him to see Mr. Munson anymore.

Just as the thought came to him, he looked at the school events calendar he had put in his phone and saw that there would be a Winter Dance but that it was for 4th and 5th grade only. He held back a sigh. Oh well, maybe if he got particularly antsy, he could schedule a confere-no, nononono.

He wasn't going to waste a teacher's time over nothing. Just because, what? He wanted to see him?

He said as much when he talked to Robin the next day. They were sitting in his living room, Shawn was up in his room, reading on this lazy Sunday.

"So, you're just going to avoid him?"

"It's not avoiding. I'm just not going to go out of my way to seek him out", Steve clarified. "And maybe this little crush", he whispered the word 'crush' like tiny ears were listening, "will die down."

"Mhm", Robin nodded, unconvinced. "You know they say absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?"

Steve leaned back against the couch. "There's at least one absence I'm not missing."

"...Don't tell me this is all because of him?"

"It's not because of him but...", Steve's eyes traveled to where Shawn's baby book sat on a bookshelf. Inside were the only pictures of Shawn's sire. And honestly, Steve wouldn't even have those if it were up to him. But he wanted to leave the door open just for when Shawn got older and could decide how much he wanted that man in his life.

"I don't think Mr. Munson is anything like him. Of course I don't. But I can't make a mistake like that again. If Shawn got hurt, I could never forgive myself."

Robin gave him a pat on the leg. "If you really think it's for the best."

It was. Steve knew that what was on the surface could be hiding something ugly underneath. He wasn't going to expose him or his pup to anything like that again. Mr. Munson was nice but these feelings weren't deep enough to swim in. Steve was barely getting his toes wet. He would stay high and dry and then Shawn would go on to second grade and then he would only see Mr. Munson in passing, if that.

Steve had all these affirmations in mind as he settled in to see Shawn's performance Monday. Planning ahead, Steve had told his school a couple weeks ago that he had a doctor appointment and wouldn't be coming in until later. Just long enough to pop in and see Shawn sing. As he had planned and rehearsed, Mr. Munson sat on a stool to one side of the stage, acoustic guitar in his lap.

It was all the school would allow and seeing as the kids' singing voices weren't super strong, it was for the best. Steve recorded the act, phone focused on Shawn while every once in a while, his eyes drifted to Mr. Munson.

After the song, Steve waved to Shawn, who waved back. He had told him ahead of time that he'd have to go back to work after seeing him, so that his son wouldn't be disappointed. When they saw each other at home later, Shawn's adrenaline from the day hadn't waned.

"So a lot of the other kids' parents took them home, so Mr. Munson let some of us play with his guitar!"

"Did he now?", Steve smiled.

"Uh-huh. He even taught us how to play. Do you think he teaches guitar?"

"Would you like some lessons?", Steve asked.

"Only if Mr. Munson is teaching it. He makes everything so cool."

-------------------------

Steve watched as Shawn ran ahead to go into the corn maze. Most of the corn was gone, so he wasn't worried about him getting lost as Robin went to get them hot ciders. Shawn scurried through the maze when he found someone familiar.

Robin had come back with two ciders that she and Steve sipped on while Shawn made his way through the maze.

"Dad! Look who's here!"

Steve looked up, expecting to see one of his little friends. Not Mr. Munson.

Not Mr. Munson in ripped jeans and a leather jacket.

Not Mr. Munson in ripped jeans and a leather jacket with chunky rings and his hair let loose, spilling over his shoulders.

"Dad look! It's Mr. Munson! Dad?"

"Mr. Munson! What a surprise!", Robin came in for the save while Steve was speechless. She gave him a subtle nudge that really wasn't all that subtle but that was okay because Mr. Munson was having his own crisis.

Because here was Mr. Harrington, enjoying a harvest festival, shoulder to shoulder with a beautiful alpha woman.

"H-hey, didn't expect to run into you here", Mr. Munson stuttered.

"Me neither", Steve said, voice a little breathless. He cleared it and remembered himself. "This is Robin, she's my neighbor. Robin, this is Shawn's teacher."

"Heard so much about you", Robin grinned.

Steve wanted to kick her in the shin.

"Hey, Shawn, how's about we go and pick out a pumpkin or something?", Robin suggested, grabbing his hand and pulling him away from the other two, leaving them alone.

Mr. Munson looked like a deer caught in headlights and Steve couldn't blame him.

"Jesus, she couldn't be anymore obvious."

"Did you want to talk to me about something, Mr. Harrington?"

"No, I didn't. But, I think...I think we should have this conversation anyway." Steve ran a hand through his hair.

They went to a little sitting area the farm had set up near the food booths so that they could talk. Eddie's mind ran a mile a minute, thinking of what this could be about. Both good and bad. He'd gotten a hot chocolate both to keep his hands warm and to give him something to do with said hands. Hands that Mr. Harrington was staring at right now.

"I um", he shook his head and pushed a lock of hair behind his ear. "I just wanted to-god this is hard."

"Well, let's make it easier", Eddie said. "Is it about Shawn? Is he having problems in school?"

"No, it's not about that. It's about us-I mean, there is no us but I-goddammit", Steve hissed, cheeks getting red in embarrassment. He let out a breath. "Mr. Munson, I'm having..." don't say feelings don't say feelings don't say feelings "-sensations, that aren't entirely professional. About you."

"Oh."

"And I know nothing can come of it, but I just want you to know that, to know that I'm aware of them and if I ever come on, I guess too strong, please just let me know."

"Um, for how long?", Eddie asked, hoping he wasn't vibrating in his seat because it sure did feel that way.

"Uhh, pretty much since I first met you", Mr. Harrington admitted. "And I don't know if it's because you've been looking after me and Shawn when we walk back to the car, or if it's something else but you just smell...you feel safe. And it's hard for me not too....", he trailed off, voice getting soft.

He didn't know how much that meant to Eddie. His first year of teaching, Eddie had gone on scent blockers, not wanting to overwhelm the little noses in his room. But one day he'd forgotten and things just seemed to run more smoothly when they could get a whiff of him. For Mr. Harrington to say his scent made him feel safe...

"It hasn't exactly been easy for me either", Eddie finally said. "Me too, since that first day I... But you already said nothing can come from it."

There was a hesitant look in Mr. Harrington's eyes. "Well, you know, why not?"

"Why...not?", Eddie echoed.

"I have my personal reasons for not pursuing this, but they mostly involve Shawn. If he doesn't know about it, I mean if we can hide it from most people, you won't get in trouble with the school. And we won't, you know get Shawn's hopes up if it doesn't become serious."

"Why, Mr. Harrington, are you propositioning me?" Honestly, Eddie didn't give a flying fuck what this principal thought about his private life. At the end of the day, it really was just Shawn he was worried about. He didn't know what happened to the other half of his DNA, but he knew that kids with only one parent sometimes longed for a second. He couldn't make Shawn think that was him unless this was the real deal. And he wouldn't know that for sure if he didn't give this a try.

"For starters, when we're not on school grounds, you can call me Steve."

"Eddie."

"Eddie, would you like to go out with me sometime?"

Steve's face was a mix of hopeful and confident that Eddie wouldn't be forgetting anytime soon. "I'd love to."

Part 4

There is absolutely some angst with Steve's baby daddy comin down the line. I came up with it where I come up with all my best ideas, half asleep when I wake up in the morning.

Tag Team

@anne-bennett-cosplayer @aol19 @lololol-1234 @hippieg1rl420 @gregre369 @attic-cat-blog

[mncein]

hellooo!!! can i request for newjeans hcs on how they react if they have a crush whose flirty but oblivious?

omg first req !! and yes of course !!

i really had a good time writing this while i'm wide awake at 3am 😭 i'm literally applying the saying that the brain works more efficiently during night lmao, thank you for this request anon, i hope you enjoy !!

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

— for minji, she's probably gonna make you stop flirting with her bc she gets really really shy AND she hides her face 'cause it will give you a hint or smth and then you might just reject her right there :( but deep inside she likes it sm that she blames her cheeks for getting red. to add that she probably has a group chat with her friends where she jokes about how oblivious you are and that she tries to flirt back with a line she got from google, excusing herself right there and then doing a 2 minute of research to find a good pick up line for you 😭 in all, she just wants to let you know how much she likes you but she can't :(

— hanni... when you flirt, this girl gives you a teasing smile and then clings to you the whole time. telling you how much she loves your jokes with making it obvious that she likes you. wonders how you not ask about her recent behaviors of how she flirts back shamelessly whenever you two are texting or talking on the phone. MADE moves showing that she likes you and does her best showing it, but she just tilts her head in confusion when you just brushed the topic off :( feeling a little sad, she just spaces off while you talk about things. then you ask her what's wrong, bunny will just stare at you with a pout :(

— this sunshine right here will just smile and say thank you in her aussie accent, and then danielle will just look down and blush, thinking of something else she should say. poor girl doesn't even know what to say when you copied her usual beaming smile, tucks some of her hair behind her ear cutely as she speaks about how she enjoyed the day with you :( so cute that you can't resist complimenting her beautiful eyes. "danielle, did you know you had such pretty eyes?" danielle will probably let out some tears of joy, and when she gets back home, she wonders if you actually knew and like her back :(

— haerin will just stare at you silently, her cheeks getting redder and redder for every word yous say. listening so carefully with a cute grin, despite how quiet she is outside, her thoughts speak louder :( her eyes sparkling when you show her a photo of you, mentally printing it on her mind, probably complimenting how you look with such tiny words that she only could hear 😭 asking her what she said, she just shakes her head and asks you to go on talking. by the time you ask her to talk about what's happening in her life, she just replies plainly on your questions. when leaving, she thanks you for a happy day and she finally gives her full smile. patting her head like she's a cat, she comes back home with the same blush as she first saw you that day and poor girl also wondering how she could show you how much she likes you :(

— hyein with her smug smile 😭 flirting back like some fifth grader, so stubborn when you tell her something nice, she tells something even nicer 🤭 finally letting her win the small complimenting competition, she just smiles and blushes. her crush being flirty with her? she wouldn't think twice and flirt back, constantly putting her arm over your shoulder, taking advantage of her height and yours. she's acting like a really cool best friend, but she actually likes you a lot :( asking for advice how she can get her crush to fall in love with her, you giving her advices but not knowing that she would do the things you said to you. you were so oblivious when she asks about your type and standards, answering her questions so honest and true. her making a super plan on how to show you that she likes you :(

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

[demons-i-get]

We all know Dean raised Sam. This is something we agree on, right? We also all agree that Sam's first word was 'Dean' or some variation of it in an attempt to say 'Dean', yeah?

Please consider for me: Sam, a tiny, small child, a little baby, an adorable little bean. He calls Dean 'dede' the same way little kids still learning to talk call their parents 'mama' and 'dada'. As he gets a little older, 'dede' becomes 'De'.

In kindergarten when the other kids are talking about doing things with Mommy and Daddy, Sam talks about how De takes care of him because Dad is always really busy but it's okay because De is the best and plays all kinds of fun games with him. All the other kids are like, 'but what about your mommy?' and Sammy doesn't have a mommy, or even remember what having a mommy was like, and the other kids are just devastated by this because 'my mommy is the bestest' and 'mommies take care of you, so who takes care of you if you don't have a mommy?' and Sammy gets all belligerent in that five/six-year-old-way and insists that he doesn't need a mommy because he has a De and De takes the bestest care of him.

Even after they get older and Sam only calls his brother 'Dean', he'll still revert to calling him 'De' when he's really tired, hurt, sick, scared, or drugged up on painkillers lmao.

When he was in second grade, Sam fell off the monkey bars during recess, sprained his ankle, and scraped his knees up pretty bad. He wailed and cried and called for 'De' while the teachers and the school nurse tried to help him and they couldn't figure out who to call because John wasn't answering his phone when all of a sudden another, slightly older, child appeared out of fucking nowhere, swept a blubbering little Sammy into his arms, and calmed him right down. The teachers and nurses are confused as hell because one: where did this other child even come from, two: Sam wouldn't let anyone near him and would start screaming if someone tried to touch him but this kid shows up and just immediately scoops him up and gets him to stop wailing, and three: seriously where did this other child come from??? He looked too old to be another second grader or even a third or fourth grader who had wandered outside at all the commotion. Turned out, he was a sixth grader on his way to lunch when he heard the commotion and came running. Apparently, this was the 'De' that Sam kept yelling for.

EVEN AS ADULTS Sam still does this!!!!! When he's nervous, Sam will reach out and grab the back of Dean's shirt/jacket/whatever (like we see him do in 'What Is and What Should Never Be' even if that was a djinn-induced hallucination) and say real softly, "De," which prompts Dean to take over and do all the talking and make himself big and loud and impossible to ignore until they can get out of the situation. Once they're in the clear, Dean will always check in with a, "You okay, Sammy?" and lays a grounding hand on Sam's shoulder until he gets a reply.

However, (because I'm a sucker for angst) Sam calls him 'De' for the first time since Dean came to him for help finding John when Dean's dying after he got electrocuted fighting the rawhead (s1ep12 Faith); it breaks Dean's ailing heart because Sammy hasn't called him that in almost five years and now Dean has to leave his little brother behind and it's gonna absolutely devastate him. Most of the whole time Dean's sick, Sam calls him De, and even after Roy heals him, he's De for like, another week while Sam hovers over him, terrified something's going to happen and take his big brother away from him.

TL;DR: Sam used to call Dean 'dede' (like 'dada'), called him 'De' as he got a little older, and still calls him 'De' in times of emotional turmoil/distress throughout their adult lives.

I have more thoughts about Sam calling Dean 'De' that are more sad/angsty/etc. but I wanted to keep this post mostly fluffy and cute so I'll probably reblog this with more thoughts at some point!

[thatdeadaquarius]

OKAY OKAY SAGAU BUT THE CREATOR IS A HUGE KPOP FAN LIKE IMAGINE THE MOST STOTIC CHARACTERS DANCING TO TWICE

ANON I HAVE SEEN UR ASK SITTIN IN MY MAILBOX AND BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE-

GOD IM SO BASIC ANON I ONLY KNOW LIKE 2 SONGS BY TWICE (LIKE "FEELS" OR SMTH POPULAR), I KNOW A LITTLE MORE ITZY, BUT MY MAIN'S JUST BEEN BTS SINCE 2019😭

(send me recs pleassseeee ;-;)

Hey this'll be the last time I use colored words for characters!

I think it's a bit too distracting, and the only reason I was using them was to let ppl know if their fav was in there, but now I'll probably just use CW/TW to mention character heavy asks/fics :)

Thanks for being patient with me for so long if ur still reading my stuff :0 <3

Listen as you read?

EDIT 1/1/24: Hey I expanded more about this on my Eldritch Fanfic Part 2 post, but unfortunately I did a form of exoticism by including the term "Huangdi" inappropiately here. I have since replaced it with "Emperor" as was the original untranslated term I would've used. I'm genuinely sorry that I did this, and will absolutely be on the look out/do better in the future. I hope you can understand.

----

AGONIZED OVER THE GIFS THIS TIME THEYRE SO PRETTY AND I WANTED TO GET THEM DANCING ONE OF THEIR CUTER ERA/THEMES ALL DRESSED UP TOO-

also im so sorry?? Idky i was in such a scenario mood today??? Ig im in my exectutive dysfunction paralysis state so maybe that’s why, like it unconcoiusly wants me to waste more time not catching up on uni work??? anyway, hope u like this chaotic addon 😭

or i just love this ask sm, that’s entirely possible too <3

I JUST NEED YOU TO KNOW I PUT ON A MEGA TWICE PLAYIST WHILE WRITING THIS ENTIRE THING LMAO

ok but they’d totally heard ur music tastes thru the screen right?

like just imagine-

the video game music is normalized, and to them its just another one of those “all kinds of magic in teyvat” causing the music, like the seelies wandering around all the time or elemental energy

Jean is flipping through a folder filled with the reports for the week, she’s got to get the routes ready for the week, then there’s the liyue shipments the knights need to help escort over, then checking in on any of the emergency stations/rations throughout Mondstadt for weary or hurt travelers/merchants-

She sighs, and yet another irritated thought is thrown Varka’s way in her mind, she can’t even muster the energy to make it outright dislike she’s so tired…

Jean was so concentrated she just now is starting to hear the Favonious Headquarter’s music once more, it’s peppy upbeat tune… grates like nails on a chalkboard.

and if she has to hear that damn flute for the next hour she works, she’s going to start banging her head onto her desk.

♤

Out in Jueyun Karst, Xiao is dealing the finishing blow to a flying ruin hunter

He’s huffing and stabs his spear into the ground to lean on and catch his breath, the gentle music of the peaks begins to float around him once more

The Yaksha feels the earth beneath his feet shake. Not like from his Lord, not the other adepti angered, but an enemy so large it’s stomps shake the ground he stands on

Xiao quickly straightens less he fall over, pulling his spear out of the dirt with a little more effort than it probably should’ve taken…

The high sounds of the guzheng trickle through the air, a perfect representation of the base of the slopes, trees, streams, and nature all around him

Xiao turns to face the enemy behind him, his arm popping with tired joints,

…A ruin grader, two ruin hunters, and finally regular three ruin guards, follows it. they come around the corner of the bottom of another slope, and they're still simmering with black smoke, curling off their metallic shoulders.

Xiao sees several red targets layer over his chest,

the music fades a little, but sticks around, plucking strings gently. Xiao sighs, exhausted already.

♧

Kazuha and Beidou had to redirect the Alcor from a nasty storm at sea that intercepted their usual route between Inazuma and Liyue,

the storm had practically chased them further and further down form the Inazuman islands

it wasn’t until Kazuha, from the crow’s nest, spotted fog on the waters that they realized they’d be forced to go into said creepy fog, what with the crackling looming clouds at their backs pinning them in

“Not good Captain, the fog is miles long, I’m not sure I can see a way around it…” Kazuha calls down to the deck, Beidou letting out a sharp sigh through her nose

“Damn… fucker’s not even sentient and it practically backed us into a corner, feels like we literally gotta escape the damn thing… BRACE YOURSELVES CREW, WE’RE HEADING INTO THAT FOG!”

The Alcor makes it’s way into the fog, a piano swells with a strange tune…

Beidou, Kazuha, and the crew know to listen to the music of teyvat, especially if you have a life at sea, where storms can appear in the middle of the day or other pirates could attack any moment.

The music means nothing good, but at least Kazuha can see the storm staying at the border of the fog, moving no further in, unlike themselves

“Shit… see anything up there Kazu?” the Captain steering the ship doesn’t even reach a shout, for the music has creeped out all conversation on board

“No ma’am, wait,” a chill breeze brushes through the wanderer’s white hair, he feels goosebumps jump on his neck and spine,

“…Yes! Portside Captain, land, no enemy movement yet!”

“Alright, here goes a bad idea…” Beidou’s arms flex as she easily turns the heavy wooden wheel, steering left,

the Alcor gently comes ashore, and they make anchor.

…there are no enemies, like Kazuha said, but the tune worsens, it had gotten louder now that they’re actually on the theme’s land

It plays slowly, encasing the crew of the Alcor in a paranoid quiet, and it almost has a melancholy note

Crows caw and fly off of a stone gate up ahead, they can see flickers of a strange blue light further inland, like figures carrying lanterns everywhere they go…

“Damn music, I wouldn’t feel half this anxious if it didn’t sound like we were walking into a monster infested cave…” the first mate says, the first person to break the quiet the music held over them.

“Yes, while we might need to stay here for awhile, I think we’re all very aware how dangerous this is…” Kazuha agrees, crossing his arms and squinting at the moving blue lights… the piano plays on.

☆

You open on Spotify on your computer, clicking on your favorite kpop playlist, it’s been rainy all day, so you need the peppiness of this dance playlist to actually not be half-asleep playing Genshin-

You hum along to the Korean lyrics as you boot Genshin up, ugh, ur in-game music is so loud, u forgot u turned it up last time to hear the new Sumeru music…

Turning it down, you let the Kpop songs fill ur headphones as you nod to the beat, your team materializing on screen. Right, off to do commissions first!

♤

Jean is like.. seconds away letting out a scream of frustration, anger, tiredness, loneliness, etc. her hands clenching her hair and ruining her ponytail when, thank Creator, the theme quiets down finally.

The loss of her immediate ire gone, she lets go of her hair, her hands just kind of hovering midair, not knowing what to do with herself, all the negative emotions giving her face wrinkles just melt off, leaving her stunned, blank face behind

🎶 Dalkomhan chocolate ice-cream-cheoreom Nogabeorineun jigeum nae gibun so lovely! Kkamkkamhan uju sok gajang banjjagineun Jeo byeol jeo byeol geu yeope keun ne byeol 🎶

Acting Grand Master Jean actually screams when abruptly a song in an unrecognizable foreign language, blasts into her office, around it, filling the entire Favonius Headquarters with its… cheeriness??

Jean lets her hands fall onto the desk, still in shock

..well, she quickly decides she’s grateful for the new music either Barbatos or the All-Parent had heard her pleas for…

…actually, it’s kind of,, catchy?

Jean takes out her ponytail, massaging her aching scalp, huh, she really did have it tight she’s just now noticing, she feels a small smiles appear on her face,

she actually kind of wants to do something now (she kind of hopes this new foreign bard song sticks around..)

♧

If you asked Xiao what happened in that battle he’d be hard pressed to tell you,

without going completely red in the face. LMAO

He probably wouldn’t tell the other adepti this, especially Cloud Retainer, but Xiao had definitely had to get used to fighting brutal battles to the sound of gentle summer day-esque music

Right as the aruguably, army of ruin machines spotted the Yaksha, he’d launched himself into the air to try and evade the rusted beasts, aiming his jade spear, adding winds to swirl around the staff to better boost his attack, the machines warm up, their targets moved and locked onto him midair, right as both sides launch their attack-

🎶 Geogi neo I fancy you! Amuna wonhaji anha Hey, I love you (Love ya!) 🎶

Xiao nearly falls out of the air.

Quickly recovering, he uses his anemo power to propel himself off to the side dodging, he swears to his Lord and his Emperor himself, delayed attacks, as if the machines were caught off guard too,

missiles whiz by him, exploding behind, the peppy song of foreign women’s voices sings out into Jueyun Karst bright and happy-

🎶 Geurae neo I fancy you! Kkumcheoreom haengbokhaedo dwae 'Cause I need you! (What?) 🎶

Xiao’s face goes from being confused to concentrated throughout the rest of the battle, and the worst part… it actually helps his energy levels.

and he finds himself nodding along

☆

Kazuha takes the lead, his sword unsheathed and at the ready to cut down the slightest movement before it can get to any of the crew behind him,

He’s flanked by the Captain of the Alcor herself, Beidou’s electro shield emitting a deep hum as it blocks in front of both himself, and the crew behind him

all of the pirates have unsheather their own weapons, daggers, swords, claymores, bows, their all on high alert, waiting for.. well, any enemies at all.

In fact, Kazuha hopes he sees hilichurls soon, just for the familiarity it could give him and the his crew-

the music begins to fade away.

The crew stops just shy of the entryway that was perched with crows before they scattered, the white fog hasn’t moved beyond its lazy drifting, but the creeping sounds have stopped entirely. Not good.

Captain Beidou sighs after a few silent moments, other than the quiet breathing and shuffling of weapons from the Alcor crew.

She lets her claymore sword thunk against her shoulder, and just as she opens her mouth, turning to address the all, deciding camping here will have to do for the night-

🎶Fancy! youu, ooh Nuga meonjeo johahamyeon eottae Fancy! youu, ooh Jigeum neoegero gallae Fancy! ooh!🎶

Kazuha’s shoulder shoot up to his ears in a flinch, red eyes wide, he barely stops his reflexes from taking a hard swing with his sword, several crewmembers shriek, collide with metal clinks into one another, Beidou drops low, her sword swinging off her shoulder into almost a full swing at the ground-

…

…..

……..

🎶 Dalkomhan chocolate ice-cream-cheoreom Nogabeorineun jigeum nae gibun so lovely! Kkamkkamhan uju sok gajang banjjagineun Jeo byeol jeo byeol geu yeope keun ne byeol 🎶

the music plays on, the only one making any noise as the entire Alcor crew just, stop. after their initial shock.

Kazuha’s the first to break.

He desperately tries to contain a quiet chuckle, which turns into a giggle, which turns into a full-on wheeze, as he buries his sword into the ground to brace himself on it and one of his knees

the Captain cracks by the time Kazuha wheezes, her laughter going straight to guffaws and knee slapping, her claymore shaking the ground where she stabs it to lean against

the crew erupts into laughter, both as the peppy foreign song echoes into the mysterious fog, and Beidou’s ridiculous laugh, as always

they don’t recover until two songs later when there’s finally a slow kpop song, Kazuha’s had to sit down, tears streaming down his face, Beidou’s half-dead, wheezing out complaints about her stomach, as the crew keep sending each other into more and more laughter right as they think they’re done.

They decide their Akitsu Mikami must have the best sense of humor and must just be sitting on their celestial throne pranking some of their subjects from time to time, and the Alcor crew find themselves all the more appreciative for it, their nerves entirely gone about the island

Kazuha and Beidou are constantly asking other bards they meet to try and see if anyone can recreate the song for the crew sometime they liked the beat and the memory so much, Fancy by Twice will still get a laugh out of Beidou and Kazuha, and they’d quickly let you in on the inside joke so you’d be a part of it too (afterall you did it lol)

♡

NOW MORE IMPORTANTLY, BC IDK IVE BEEN ON A SCENARIO KICK LATELY?? SORRY IDK WHY U GUYS KEEP GETTING SCENARIOS-

There’s only TWO 2 CATEGORIES THAT MATTER HERE-

◇

Who’s DANCING!! w/o u needing to do anything but play the music:

NILOU (she got those choreos done in like, an hour flat everytime u teach her, shes always begging for “just one more dance lesson Greatest Lord? 🥺”),

YUNJIN (difference betweeen the two dancers is that nilou asks :) → yunjin lowkey demands, she like always gets u into a situation where you have plenty of time to teach her and feel obligated, u just got gaslight gatekeep girlbossed into teaching her another kpop dance LMAO), they also see it as they’re (literally) god-given job to dance better than any idol you’ve seen do it before, esp when they recruit groups of other dancers to join for group choreos

Yoimiya! cutie #1, CHILDE, amber, eula, ITTO, bennett,

Collei (but shes shy u gotta encourage her),

Diona (cutie #2),

FISCHL (would form an actual group to dance all the choreos like a real kpop group),

Gorou (shy #2, needs encouragement),

Kazuha (tbh I think he’d have fun and be weirdly good at it, fem or masc dances),

Ayaka (shy #3, needs encouragement and would rather die than dance in front of ppl other than you),

KLEE CUTIE #3, NAHIDA CUTIE #4,

Qiqi (but u gotta teach her slow bc she needs to memorize it, and also it takes her a bit to write down the dance steps in her journal so she doesn’t forget as much),

Razor (another person i think would just have fun with it! also he’d do it but it would be very, aggressive? like making finger hearts but violently shoving his arm out at ur face lmao),

HEIZOU (shutup he’d actually be good at it and brag- and flirt at you-),

Aether (shy #4), VENTI, xingqiu, xinyan, KAVEH

BARBARA (she literally stalks u around Mondstadt all like “oh hello your highness! just happened to walk by you and was wondering if you heard any new of those “kpop” dances, you know I’d LOVE to show it off at my next show-!” like she hasnt been a block behind you the entire day 💀)

♡

WHO YOU MANAGED TO CONVINCE TO DANCE LMAO-

babygirl Wanderer (he literally surveyed the area before he finally let u teach him any moves, and refused to any sort of dramatic moves, like fem or masc),

Alhaitham (but only like a small part of a guy group choreo like a bit from God’s Menu or smth, he was too lazy to do anymore even for u lol),

Cyno (dammit some of these bitches look way too good doing even girl group dances-),

Diluc (u got him to do like, a pose. LMAO and he saw Kaeya in the distance and quit immediately LMFAO),

Kaeya (but it didnt take much convincing, if anything it just took forever to teach him, he’s talented in footwork for swordfighting but apparantly not dancing, at least not modern dances he tripped so much ur convinced he did it on purpose at one point so he’d fall into your arms again lol),

Ganyu (super shy, wont do it around anyone but you, and maybe Shenhe),

speaking of Shenhe (she just took awhile to teach bc she wanted to stay upright a lot, kinda stiff),

Keqing (once again, another who’d only dance when it’s just u two lol),

Yae Miko (she just wanted to learn the whole choreo that’s what took so long… and now she’s making comments like “My goodness, my god wants me to dance for them? They’ll even show me how? Oh, now I must do it perfectly so I can satisfy you, my Kami.” STOP TAKING THINGS OUT OF CONTEXT UR TEACHING EVERYONE-),

Ayato (he’s acts so theater gay he refuses to do anything but the girl group dances/fem dances lol),

SARA (easy, give her ur strongest, saddest pout and she cracked like glass, u got her to do a whole dance with u/she actually got into it too, its her secret guilty pleasure now lol),

Kuki (did one sort of move then got BARRELED OVER by Itto’s crazied boy group acrobatics he likes so much, u know the backflips over each other type of ones? yeah. ),

Ei (the god herself/not the puppet, catch her never doing that lol, she tried but didnt, get it? she’s also pretty stiff, but she looks like she’s having fun so u just keep teaching her moves, and she likes that its you teaching her something new),

Thoma (shy #5 ? idek what number we’re on anymore lol),

TIGHNARI (u nag that bitch so hard he nearly throws a drink at you to get u to stop bothering him- NO he does NOT think those dances would suit his ears- dammit he wont do that dance, no matter how much he likes you- DAMMIT MY LORD-),

Xiao (if u thought nagging Tighnari was hard, this is like nightmare mode, not only does he not wanna do the dances, but he also wants to understand WHY u want him to dance each and every move- !! bc he would “look cute or cool”?!?!!?!!! …yeah he’s gone, he went so red u cant even get him back with tofu),

Zhongli (would like, be so confused on how to make his body do that, that he ended up just sort of posing, at least he looks cool)

♡

(anyone not on these 2, u did, in fact, not manage to convince, yes, even if their god asked them to, nor are they doing it of their own volition lol)

WHAT THE HELLLLLLL-

THIS IS SO LONGGG IM SO SORRRYYYYY

ANYWAY HOPE SOMEBODY LIKED THIS, DW ILL STOP THE WEIRD SCENARIOS AFTER THIS ASK I JUST GOT IN A PHASE I DONT KNOW WHY

also, im like, three weeks away form graduating uni? NICE, soon i will be free to assault u all with responses mwhahahaha (rubs my little gremlin hands together)

Safe travels,

💀 ♒

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk

[yooitsyorick]

The Division Book from Today's Short! (Featuring some very rushed doodles from me)

A NEW SYMBOL

At the beginning of this story are two symbols: addition and subtraction. For the longest time, that’s the only thing numbers knew. I’m not exactly sure how the numeral species took so long to discover anything outside of these two symbols. Maybe they were content with what they had discovered already – Maybe they were just stupid.

Anyway, back to the story at hand. Actually, no. We need to go a bit deeper here, I think. First graders learn about multiplication and division. How were they just unable to figure this out? It’s really not that hard. I’m just being honest here. Why should anyone be interested in this “tale” when it’s predicated on such an unbelievable premise? An entire population of sentient, powerful beings and not a single one of them could come up with an array? They’re literally numbers for crying out loud! I just feel like they could’ve figured this out earlier, I guess.

Whatever, quick recap, the numbers only know about addition and subtraction for a long while. They had a lot of fun adding into each other and all that. They really liked it.

Multiplication, which is really just doing addition multiple times in a row, (Think about it, four multiplied by three is just adding four together three times. Isn’t that cool), was discovered shortly after. There were some problems with it, and there are still problems with it. A lot of numbers don’t really mess with multiplication anymore. Every single time they try to, something ends up going wrong. It’s not fun! Addition is fun. Well, I find it quite boring, but they find it fun.

Division, however, stayed a mystery for the longest time. Which it bears repeating, is absolutely unbelievable. Division is literally just opposite multiplication.

Remember when I said multiplication is just addition multiple times in a row? Well, division is just subtraction multiple times in a row. Again, shocking that it took them so long to figure this out. I can imagine the moment now.

A lot of the time, the stupid people among us tend to have the best ideas. A lot of great ideas are unsaid just because they sound stupid. Like, imagine being all smart and educated in the 1500s and suggesting the idea of electricity. Oh, wow, magic beams from the sky can power gigantic and complex machines? Get out of here, man. But that’s actually how it works!

So I don’t really know what happened, but we can probably guess that someone stupid – 9 or 7 – brought up the idea of “reverse multiplication.” I’m not sure. Maybe those two weren’t even alive, I’m not exactly sure why I was the one chosen to pen this history into the annals of time. I really do not know a single thing about what actually happened.

Anyway, let’s just say all the numbers were just sitting around, having a lot of fun, and playing on the seesaw, 9 walks in after a visit to the local multiplication symbol. She has a weird thought in her head, and she confidently brings up the idea of division. She’s laughed at and made to feel very, very dumb. Little did they all know, however, that the idea of division is very, very real. It had just been forgotten about. More on that later.

THE POWER

The division symbol is theorised to be extremely powerful, giving its leftward user the power to split themselves into multiple parts. The amount of parts the leftward number splits into is equivalent to the value of the rightward number in the equation.

The graphic below displays the basic capabilities of the division symbol. 16 being four multiplied by four can get divided by 4 into four four. These fours are all 16, just split up in between four different bodies. They all act like 16 and share 16’s colours. This is because these four 4’s are 16. 16 has disappeared due to splitting themself up. Imagine if you were split into four identical bodies – that’s what ended [up] happening in it. Only in the graphic, of course. 16 is kind of a scaredy-cat, so I don’t think they would be keen to split themselves up like this. Which is frankly weird to me, I think of it the same way I think of people who chicken out of riding roller coasters. Like, you stand there for an hour and a half and watch thousands of people stream in and out of the coaster. Not a single person dies. When’s the last time you saw someone fly out of their roller coaster seat? It doesn’t happen! So, what is there to be afraid of? Do you think you’re special or something? You’re not. You’ll survive. Roller coasters are fun. Why are you robbing yourself of the experience?

Sorry about that rant, this book wasn’t really the place for it. I think I could just delete it, but, um, I really don’t feel like it. I got commissioned to write like at least 200 pages of this thing, and I’m kind of already running out of ideas. You saw it yourself, a couple dozen pages ago I went into a 2 page lecture about the history of devilled eggs. I literally just copied that from Wikipedia. I’m starting to think I’m not being paid for my writing ability, but just because someone was too lazy to do what I’m doing right now. Insane! This thing should be like a pamphlet at most.

Whatever, I should probably get back to the topic at hand. The division symbol is very powerful because it allows the user to split themselves up. This is beneficial for manual labour and especially fighting.

Imagine how much you could get done in a day if there was a clone of you around. That’s like, a basic sitcom plotline. It’s relatable! The numbers, lucky as they are, get to live in a reality where this is possible. You need to lift up a really heavy, wide object? Just divide yourself in two. Of course, you’d have to find 2 in order to divide yourself by them. That’s really the only downside of the symbol. A lot of the smaller numbers don’t like being “used” for division. They have their own lives!

But yeah, division is, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very powerful

THE LOSS

Those who ruled the numeric realm at the time were not pleased with the existence of the division symbol. You know how people say when you’re alone you’re weak, and when you’re united you stand. Well, yeah, extrapolate that concept to this. Do you think those who enjoy power over a population of powerful numbers like the idea of them splitting themselves into a million little equally-powerful pieces? No!

So those in power really did not like the division symbol at all. Like, they really, really did not like it. Like when you walk by a group in public and they start reciting jokes you swear you saw online six years ago to each other. Like, are you that unoriginal? You think you can impress your friends by stealing other people’s jokes? They aren’t even that good of jokes! It’s just sad, honestly. Just show them the joke on your phone, or something like that.

It just really grinds my gears, honestly. So I can really imagine how it feels to be whoever ruled the land of the numbers [was]. I don’t really think it was justified; in fact, it was kind of evil, honestly. But like, if I happened to have dominion over those idiots? Yeah, I probably would want to get rid of the self-destruct button they randomly found and learned how to use. Especially if there are 2 other self-destruct buttons out there for them to use. I say 2 because subtraction is kind of useless. Like… It doesn’t really help anyone. Multiplication and addition are pretty cool though!

So, yeah, one night the numbers were having fun, partying, and just generally enjoying themselves – as numbers are known to do. They generally liked to hang out around the division symbol, actually. They really liked it! It was probably one of their favourite things in the world. Of course, everyone had their own personal favourite thing. 9’s favourite thing was his sunglasses, the real retro ones. They had a rainbow gradient instead of a desert gradient. Doesn’t that sound cool? Meh. I don’t need your approval anyway. Who cares. 8’s favourite thing is when all of the other numbers are quiet. What a weirdo.

So the numbers partied all night. They sang songs and danced around. Blah blah blah. At the dead of night, the last number finally decided to go to bed. Numbers sleep, by the way. I don’t think they really need to? I’ll be honest I know almost nothing about these things. They’re kind of useless? They’re also annoying.

While they were asleep, however, the evil ruler of the realm took the division symbol and removed it from its place! It’s a pretty heavy symbol, so I’m actually kind of amazed that a group of people were able to just pick it up like that. As you’ll see later, 2 is also able to just pick it up on their own. Isn’t that insane? Like, 2, let me know your workout regimen or something. I could use a tip or two. Haha, two, 2.

Ok back on track for real, now BFDI season 1 is the best season. Like, by a mile! It’s just so whimsical and fun and awesome. My favourite episode was episode 6, The Power of Three. What’s up with 3 anyway? Why aren't they in these things? We’re all thinking it, right? This is meta, lol.

For real this time, let’s get back on track. The numbers woke up the next morning to find their precious division symbol gone! All that remained was the discoloured patch of grass that lay under the symbol for so many years.

The numbers were shocked and horrified by the division symbol being taken. 9 cried for like, three days straight, I think. It would’ve been cute if it wasn’t so pathetic. Like, you’re an adult, man. Either way, it was still a tragedy, though. The symbol meant a lot to these freaks! And now it was gone! The fun was over! They got over it quite quickly, though. Like, I’m not kidding, they all forgot about it the literal next day. It was like it never existed. Isn’t that just crazy? These things are so weird, man. Like. Gosh. Just crazy.

THE SEARCH

Leading spots where experts think the division symbol might be hidden. It’s not clear why they think these spots have the most potential. But they’re experts! So listen to ‘em. Also, look, map! Go obsess over what this map means or something if that’s what you’re interested in. Go wild!

Why am I still writing this. How many pages are even left! Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

The typography on those “blahs” is really, really ugly. So I’m going to stop using them to fill space. The numbers embarked on an epic search for the division symbol, but were a little too stupid to end up finding it. Who would’ve guessed! This is partly why I said they just forgot about it earlier. They tried searching for it, got lost, and instantly gave up! What losers! Can’t commit to the simplest of tasks.

If I remember this correctly, 7, the genius he is, started climbing a tree to get a good vantage point. The only problem with that idea, though, was that the tree had like eight different hornet nests on them. He turned as red as 3! Because of the stings, of course. He was pretty embarrassed too, though. He tried really hard to play it off, making excuses. He said something about how the redness came from getting a sunburn… Which, like, isn’t that much less embarrassing than getting stung by thousands of hornets?

Imagine the contempt you feel whenever you see someone walking around with an ugly full-body sunburn. Like, what an idiot. You couldn’t take the basic precautions to avoid this? You couldn’t put in the 10 minutes of work it would’ve taken you to drive to the local pharmacy and buy a can of sunscreen? It’s so easy! And yet, here this dope is, fully sunburnt. Whatever, I went on a tangent again. What do you think the person who commissioned me to write this is going to think when they check my work. My guess is they’ll just see that there’s a lot of words and instantly give it their seal of approval. If you’re reading this, that is exactly what happened. There is almost zero to be actually gained from reading this book. I’ve gone on the same tirade about how little I care like 50 times now. In fact; all of this is just copied and pasted from 10 pages earlier. That last sentence was too! I’ve reused this same passage about three times now, I’m gonna do it again, too. I’m out of ideas.

Anyway, the numbers stopped searching pretty much immediately. I think Eight maybe looked for a day or two more, but he eventually gave up too. He tried to do this thing where he’d split up into four different grey 2’s… It was low-key a little weird but some people seemed to like it. I just made all of that up.

Last paragraph on this page, better make it count. Lalalalalalalala. Uhhh… Yeah I can’t make this one count. There’s really nothing to talk about with “The Search.” There literally basically wasn’t one. There’s no way anyone is reading this far down. Whatever. Bye.

[rose-lunaire]

theodore nott | halloween special

i’m honouring friday the 13th by posting the first chapter of my october series.

slytherin season masterlist

pairing: theodore nott x gn!reader

warnings: ghosts? alcohol consumption, smoking

autumn mornings at hogwarts were supposed to be dull. dark fog creeping through the heavy curtains, muffled snoring and groaning that slowly blurred into grumpy remarks and the sound of footsteps on the staircase. it was normal. comforting. just as for theo was your careless singing in the shower. your roommates always complained how you woke them up abruptly, but for him it meant safety. it meant you were near and excited for the day. it meant that everything was alright.

you would hum while brushing your hair, your hustling would slowly wake him up. and so theo would smile at you, jokingly complaining about your morning habits. you would scoff at him, maybe throw a pillow at him in retaliation. the laughter would commence as theodore slumped out of bed, lazily getting ready for the day. people would give you weird looks while getting down to the great hall. your morning were full of laughter and playful banter that could light up even the gloomiest of souls.

“i like your voice”

normally compliments made you flustered. you would let out an awkward chuckle or two and flush a little. who knew that an innocent sentence like this could send chills down your spine?

the letters were written in perfect cursive, like by a studious second-grader or an old-fashioned professor. it looked like copied from a calligraphy textbook. but what really scared you was that it wouldn’t fade. the hazy surface of the mirror was eerily cold. you could see the dread in your right eye reflected in the dot of the third “i”.

maybe it was a silly prank? your boyfriend, theodore, wasn’t one for jokes, but it seemed like the only logical explanation. maybe he was testing out a new spell he has learnt? right, it was probably it. you could swear you had seen a glimpse of a smile on his lips as you went to the bathroom. “that bastard”, you thought, chuckling at yourself. there was no need for worry, it was just a prank. right.

“if you liked my voice that much, you could’ve just told me, you know”

nott was barely awake and visibly confused. “angel, i love you, but you sound like a choking hippogriff” he grumbled and rolled over to the other side of the bed. “no, teddy, please don’t fall asleep” panic seeped though your voice. the boy sensed it (or had enough of you shaking him awake) and let you drag him into the bathroom. it took him a full minute to realise what’s going on. “oh fuck.”

“okay, to summarise what we know now: no one has entered the dorm room since chris and blaise left. according to the archives, there is no spell that could leave such an imprint. also, it’s not potter who wanted to give you a scare. there is only one creature that could do it.” he didn’t need to say it out loud. ghost were an inherent part of every wizard’s life. they presented as an imprint of one’s soul, bound to someplace close to their heart. you’ve seen them countless times, salazar, you greeted them each morning running to class. the thing is, they were allowed to stay at hogwarts only under some conditions. “on a second thought, forget it, school ghosts aren’t hostile.”

“theo?” he hummed in response, pouring himself a cup of coffee. “what if it wasn’t a school ghost?” no, that was stupid. hogwarts was the safest place in the magical world. there’s no way an evil spirit could just march in there and mess around without any consequences. yet after six years of studying here, you weren’t so sure about it anymore. you squeezed your boyfriend’s arm.

day passed and you felt yourself becoming more paranoid than ever. always looking over your shoulder, hand clasped tightly over your wand. theodore picked up a habit of checking the bathroom before you entered. it was getting ridiculous but none of you could help it. in a desperate attempt to comfort you theo even considered consulting snape about spirits.

“i miss your smile”

the sound of your screams rocked the foundations of slytherin dungeon. it echoed through the crocked staircase, rang in the main fireplace of the common room. you were shaking. the world developed awfully sharp edges and all the lights were blinding. everything was shaking. it made you want to scream even more. suddenly your body rose from the floor. you started wiggling and kicking the air, panic seeping though your breathless struggle.

“didn’t know you’re so strong” a displeased grumble came from behind your back. your vision was so focused you couldn’t see what was right in front of your face. his features scrunched tightly, forming creases around his deep eyes. you counted two blinks during what felt like an eternity. theodore nott was carrying you to bed. he was shaking. were you shaking? it felt like the whole world was shaking with you. “calm down, love” he sighed. “skurge!” it was like a whole anvil was lifted from your chest. the boy caressed your cheek carefully, like checking for any injuries. then everything started to blur perfectly and weariness washed over you completely.

there was no plasm left on the bathroom floor. either nott’s charm was successful or there was nothing here in the first place. he didn’t like the smell lingering in the room. it reminded him of an old sweater he wore to visit grandparents’ graves. it was the odour of the chemicals used in muggle trains. feeling reminiscent of the split second before the ink spilled all over a potions essay. taste of fire whiskey before he was too drunk to ignore it. but it was the note on the mirror that made him puke.

the mirror incidents increased in frequency as halloween approached. you and theo were barely sleeping. teachers would take pity on you and wouldn’t reprimand you for dozing off in their classes. it was bad. so bad you started giving up. stopped checking the bathroom two times before entering, stopped singing, stopped looking into the mirror. the sight of your hazy eyes was worse even than the foggy messages.

slowly it started affecting your roommates. heavy and disorderly footsteps became the trademark of your dorm room. schoolwork kept piling up relentlessly and none of you could force yourselves into completing the assignments. coffee was spilled, ink filled up your cups to the brim. weekends were the real torture that commenced with student’s smiley faces and happy chatter.

“enough!” even draco was agitated from his friends behaviour. “we’re throwing a fucking party and your attendance is required” he scoffed at your disheveled appearance. truth be told he was concerned. he saw theodore skipping classes just to smoke his heart away. his precious coat grey from the smoke and muddy from late night walks by the lake. he was always brooding, but this was extreme even for nott. as for you, well, you were a wreck. too unsettled to even notice the difference theo’s behaviour. you were both constantly on edge, frantically holding hands until your knuckles whitened.

malfoy didn’t lie. it was fucking party. music blaring so loudly it almost drown out your thoughts and worries. after the second glass of whiskey you let out a broken laugh. crabb was on his fourth glass and was telling something about muggles and their weird traditions. an empty bottle became a makeshift broom that muggles use to try and become wizards. goyle was trying to hold him up, but was laughing so hard he fell to the floor first.

by midnight blaise started talking uncontrollably. it was a constant stream of words, from which you picked out particularly “ghost”, “mirror” and “freak”. turns out you and theo weren’t going crazy or at least weren’t the only ones losing their sanity. the look of terror on his face would’ve been hilarious if it wasn’t for your own worries. as your circled quieted down, a group of ravenclaws approached with their gossip. and more booze.

“i can’t believe it’s real!” exclaimed one of them. “the fuck do you mean?” theo was sobering up from anger. “the legend! i mean, don’t tell me you haven’t heard of amanda dovetail?” one look into your tired eyes and she lost her amusement. the girl cleared her throat. “so, she was a second-year slytherin. i believe she died quite suddenly after living a life of curiosity and passion for learning. many believe her spirit couldn’t give up the school of her dreams yet, so she stayed around. her energy is weak, so she chooses to come back only once in ten years. but then it’s like she’s living there all over again.”

you put down you glass carefully and got up. nott wanted to stop you, but one look into your eyes and he stayed in his place. you wanted out.

you spend the rest of the night reading charms textbooks and old students’ diaries. turns out amanda indeed comes back every october and tries to bond with the current residents of her old dorm. after all this fear and weariness you still wanted to help her. so you read out loud, slowly and patiently explaining more difficult concepts.

the next morning your notes were scattered all over the room. the first letters of each page read: thank you.

[randombookposts]

Canaan University Au

Ok I thought of a college au for the locked tomb a awhile ago but I never bothered to write it down until now. Anyways I think they would all go to this imaginary university in New Zealand and it’s like the first book but with a lot less murder. Here’s what I think each house would study

Judith- Criminal justice major. Huge stickler for rules and doing homework. If she’s not in the gym reading a textbook while doing push-ups, she’s in the library getting into a heated debate with a Corona. Had a huge crush on Marta and went to the same college as her to hangout, just getting over it, may or may not have feelings for Corona, maybe.

Marta- In law school, was a mentor to Judith when she was in high school and that’s how they know each other. Gently turned Judith down but they’re still friends and study together sometime. Is the DD at every party.

Corona: Majoring in marketing with a minor in fashion merchandising. Doesn’t do great on tests but aces every presentation. President of her sorority. Can and will gaslight frat boys. Everyone wants her but she only has eyes for the stuck up criminal justice major.

Ianthe- Management major with a minor in maybe finance. Commits tax fraud and gets away with it. Sometimes does Corona’s homework for her. Doxxes people online (mostly Babs), smokes in the dorm hallways. Flirts with Harrow during their study sessions, which Harrow ignores.

Naberius- Economics major, and major fuck boy. Makes thirst traps and is doxxed. Hangs out with the twins even though they bully him. Doesn’t do shit during group projects. Will get a job at his dads company post graduation.

Jeannemary and Isaac don’t go to college but are tutored by Abigail at her house. They just silly teens who experiment with makeup and clothes to find their look. Talk loudly about anime in the school hallways. A little cringe but they’re doing their best.

Abigail- Anthropology professor and is really cool. Tough grader but genuinely loves her students and shares trivia with them. Brings donuts to test days. Will accidentally derail class to talk about books or her husband. If one of her students brings up one of the incredibly niche topics she likes, she will talk about it for hours.

Magnus- Not a teacher but visits Abigail's classes often. Nice guy, helps look after Jeannemary and Isaac. I'm not sure what he would do as a job, maybe chef or stay at home husband lol. Regardless, he's the one making all the meals.

Palamedes- Pre-med, wants to become a doctor so he can save Dulcinea save people. Smartest guy in the room always, a go to for anyone struggling with their biology homework. Has a friendly rivalry with Harrow (it's more rivalry than friendly for Harrow but she grows fond of him over time). Is the one derailing class with philosophical debates.

Camilla- Physics major, too cool for you. Really into sports, just not sure which, like gymnastics or soccer or rugby or fencing. Works hard but actually remembers to eat and sleep too. Probably in student government as well. Her and Palamedes are attached at the hip, they later get an apartment together and that's where all the main hangouts with the other characters happen.

Dulcinea- Suffers from chronic illness and focuses her life on learning and traveling rather than getting a traditional job. She's got multiple degrees in stuff like literature, philosophy, and art history. She is active on social media and has a blog, and sells crocheted animals on Etsy. Became mutuals with Pal and Camilla on social media and they met up later when they went off to college.

Protesilaus- Dulcie's caretaker, helps her with her medical stuff. Becomes like a cool uncle figure to her and her friends. Hangs out a lot with Ortus and they share poetry.

Silas- Double major in theology and philosophy. Freaky teen prodigy who graduated high school early and attends university. Little shit who people are either freaked out by or straight up just don't like him. Will snitch on anyone for anything he doesn't like. Really only friends with Colum.

Colum- Silas' nephew, but way older than him, weird dynamic. Not in school but drives Silas to his classes and Silas lives with him during the school year instead of in the dorms. Nice guy, looks out for Silas' well being the best he can but tries to keep him from being too nasty to others.

Harrow- Double major in theology and archeology. Studies at all hours and forgets to eat and sleep. Local cryptid. Autistic with special interests in religion and burial rituals. Went to Catholic school and had a suffocating home life. Trying to grapple with that as she starts to navigate adult life. Also trying to mend her relationship with Gideon after being so harsh in her younger years.

Gideon- Kinesiology major, butch vibes to the max. Does swordfighting and weight training in her down time. Has kissed both Ianthe and Corona at some point, though it never went anywhere after that. Wears her sunglasses at all times even in class. Finds the worst fashions from thrift stores and wears them to piss Harrow off. Grew up with Harrow in a foster home Harrow's parents ran and also attended Catholic school with her but they rarely interacted beyond antagonizing each other. Reconnected after being randomly assigned roommates. Now they're buddies and hang out alongside the 3rd and 6th, (also the 2nd and Dulcie sometimes too). They all do stupid shit together like sing karoke off key and hit up Taco Bell at 2am after binge watching movies.

[cowgurrrl]

BWFW

Pairing: rockstar!joel miller x actress!reader

Summary: You and Joel call a truce [3.8k]

Author’s note: dude I’m having so much fun writing this (PS this song is named after BWFW by Blunt Chunks)

Warnings: smoking (don’t smoke kids (drunk cigs don’t count)), Joel being an asshole momentarily, spicy thoughts (no smut), enemies to ???

Joel Miller Caught Kissing Actress After Date: Everything We Know About Her

Hollywood's Newest Power Couple?

Joel Miller Has A New Boo, And We're All A Bit Jealous

Who is Joel Miller's Newest Girl? Everything Their Waitress Told Us About Their Secret Romantic Date

Pictures of you and Joel making out against your front door are everywhere. You can barely log onto Instagram without being bombarded with DM's, comments, and tags in news articles about you two. Melanie even texted you with several headlines attached and a "Great job, kid!" Even your mom texted you about it. Granted, it was a screenshot of a Buzzfeed post, and all she sent you was a bunch of question marks, but she texted you. You try to put it out of your mind by leaving your phone in your trailer when you go to set instead of handing it off to a PA.

You decide that Joel Miller isn't worth more brain power than absolutely necessary. He has his own life, and you doubt he's thinking about you, and if he is, it's probably plotting his next reputation-saving move. The only thing you can do is work, make the best movie possible, and move on with your life until he summons you for another contractually obligated date. It's only a few months. You can make it, right?

You were asking the director about a scene, script in hand, when Ryan strolled up to you with a mischievous look. You ignore him and listen to Greta give you notes and ideas for the next movie sequence. He waits for you to be done with the conversation, like a third grader, before grabbing your arm and pulling you toward him. 

"Why didn't you tell me you were seeing Joel Miller?" He asks, and you laugh. He walks you to a more secluded part of set, hiding from eavesdropping extras and chatty interns as they set the sound stage for the next scene. 

"It didn't seem relevant to work."

"Not relevant? This is huge," he says, somehow more excited about this than you are, and you cross your arms over your chest. "You haven't dated at all since you made it big."

"Okay, that's not true."

"Really? Before last night, when was the last time you went on a date with anyone? Famous or not?" He asks. You open your mouth to answer, but your brain short circuits as you search through your memories. You're ninety percent sure that your last date was with the guy you had a showmance with before you moved to California. He was tall, handsome, and full of himself just like every other actor. You vaguely remember telling him you booked your first movie with A24, and he said you didn't have the "right look" for A24. Last you heard, he was living with five other roommates in the Meatpacking District back in New York.

"Okay, so maybe it's been a while," you admit, and he raises his eyebrows at you. "Please, don't make this a thing. I've already had enough people clawing at me for answers about it, and I'm exhausted."

"Fine, fine, but you have to promise you'll go out for drinks with me and Carolina on Friday. She's been dying to make couple friends, and I need to make sure he's good for you." 

"You don't need to do anything, but sure. I'll talk to him and see what he thinks." You say, and he smiles. Before he can grill you any further, your names are called over the intercom, announcing that they're ready for you, and you silently thank whatever god is out there for getting you out of that situation. You and Ryan walk back to the sound stage and get flanked by people from makeup who need to touch you up and frantic ADs who repeat the same notes the director already gave you. You swear if their heads weren't attached to their necks, they'd run around looking for them at all hours.

You do several takes of the same scene, yet another scene of your characters arguing, this time about what they'll do now that your character is pregnant. Ryan progressively gets more despondent as he sinks into his character, frustrating you as his scene partner and the pregnant woman you're playing. After about two hours of running the same scene over and over again, you're at your wit's end and need to do something different. Everyone on set freezes when you shove at Ryan's shoulders and force him to look you in the eyes for the first time since you started filming. The entire scene shifts as you continue to push at him, tears unexpectedly falling from your eyes as you beg him to say something. It hurts more when he walks out the door without looking back. When Greta cuts, Ryan all but runs back in the door and wraps you in a big hug.

"You're gonna break my heart if you keep doing that!" He says, and you laugh as you wipe away your tears. You watch the scene back together, and jump up and down at how much better it flows. It feels like you're watching magic. Times like this remind you why you became an actor in the first place. 

You film a few more scenes before breaking for the night. Your body hurts from carrying so much emotion as you walk into your trailer to gather your things to go home. You barely grazed the door, dinner plans already filling your head, when your phone buzzed in your back pocket. It's a text from an unsaved number, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out who it's from. 

The lipstick on the collar was a nice touch, he writes, and you sigh. 

That almost sounds like a compliment, Miller, you shoot back.

You're not even halfway to your car when your phone buzzes with another text from Joel.

Paul is really happy with how everything's going. He said he wants us to see each other again before I go back to Texas.

Good timing because my costar practically begged me to go on a double date with him and his wife.

We're already in double-date territory? How official.

Har har. How's Friday night sound?

Sounds like Paul is going to be very happy.

That makes one of us.

The rest of the week flies by with you dodging the online chatter about you and Joel somewhat successfully, but Ryan keeps reminding you how excited he is to hang out with you and your new "boy toy," as he has affectionately nicknamed Joel. You hate it, but he thinks it's funnier that way, so he just keeps calling him that. You swear Ryan was your annoying older brother in another life. 

You're curling your hair when he texts you a cute picture of him and his wife in the car with the message, "Ready to interrogate JM." You laugh and return to messing with your hair, mentally going through every possibility that tonight could bring. You're wearing a pink tank top and jeans with pink heels. Nothing super fancy, but it's definitely more dressed down than your first date with Joel. You debate on which necklace to wear and wrap the final piece of hair around your curling iron when your front door opens.

Joel calls your name as he shuts the door behind him. You almost throw the hot iron down as you step into the hallway to face him. He's wearing a black shirt with a matching black leather jacket and jeans. He looks you up and down unapologetically, and you roll your eyes.

"Who told you you could just walk into my house?" You ask as you duck into the bathroom again. He leans against the doorway, crossing his arms over his chest as he watches you spray your hair to help it withstand the California heat.

"Hello to you too, darlin'." 

"Don't call me that."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want you to."

"So, what can I call you?" He asks with a smirk pulling on his lips. You grab your bag off the counter and move to leave the bathroom, but he doesn't budge. You huff as you look up at him.

"Move."

"Answer the question." He says. You think about pushing him out of the way, but he's broad and has those strong guitarist arms and probably wouldn't even flinch. You copy his stance as you rack your brain for an acceptable answer.

"Well, you could start with just my name," you say, and he laughs. "But other than that, I don't know."

"Baby?" He suggests, and you almost gag.

"Absolutely not."

"Which do you hate more? Darlin' or baby?"

"Baby."

"Alright, then, darlin'," he says, stepping out of your way. You scoff and walk past him into the hallway. "You know, you really should get a dog or somethin'. It's not safe for you to just leave your door unlocked like that."

"Oh, with all the psychos running around my neighborhood? I can handle myself but thank you for your input." You say, and he laughs as you do one last sweep of your living room to make sure you didn't forget anything. Once again, Joel opens your front door and the passenger side door of his car for you. You can say many things about Joel Miller, but one thing you can't say is that he's not a gentleman. You think it has something to do with his Texas upbringing, or it might just be a testament to the kind of woman his mother is. You don't say anything the whole way to the restaurant, saving up your mental energy to deal with him for the whole night, and he doesn't fight you on it.

When you get there, you can see Ryan waiting near the host stand through the windows, obviously ready to escort you and Joel to the table. You're surprised that the sidewalk isn't flanked by photographers, but you take it as a good sign. Joel parks the car and reaches for your hand as he locks it. You almost smack it away before remembering you're in public and take it in yours. The smooth ring on his middle finger is cool and smooth, a stark contrast to his calloused palms. Ryan lights up when you two step through the doors, and he quickly wraps you in a warm hug. He introduces himself to Joel and holds his hand out for a handshake which Joel reciprocates. 

When he walks you to the table set for four, Carolina smiles and stands to hug you and Joel in true Carolina fashion. Joel doesn't hesitate to pat her back and smile as Ryan jokes about having two of the prettiest women in the restaurant sitting at his table.

"Sorry, I'm a hugger," Carolina says as you sit across from them. Joel lays an arm across the back of your chair like this is a perfectly normal thing he does all the time.

"That's alright, ma'am. I don't mind." He says, and Carolina gives you a look.

"Ma'am? I like him already." She says, and you laugh. 

Joel settles into the dynamic between the three of you easily and listens as Ryan tells stories from set and press events. It's no small feat that you let Joel meet two of the most important people in your life, and even though you didn't tell him to be, he's on his best behavior. He doesn't try to annoy you or do anything inappropriate in front of them. He compliments Carolina, calling her ma'am even after she told him he didn't have to, and exchanges dude-bro stories with Ryan all night. Except for the arm on your chair, he doesn't make any affectionate moves which you're grateful for. 

With Ryan and Carolina there, it almost feels normal. It could also be your third glass of wine helping you relax too. Ryan makes a snarky comment about your drinking, to which you flip him off. "I'd be drinking too if I had to work with you all week!" Carolina says. Ryan feigns a blow to the chest, and she smacks his shoulder. "Did he tell you that Elizabeth started calling you Ryan's movie wife?" She asks, and you laugh.

"God, I hope she doesn't repeat that at school. Otherwise, you," you point at Ryan. "Are going to have a lot to explain to that poor teacher."

"Who's Elizabeth?" Joel asks as you take a bite of food. You hum to let him know you'll answer in a second, but Carolina beats you to it.

"Elizabeth is our daughter."

"And my goddaughter," you jump in. "She's the best kid in the world."

"Well, of course, you think that because you're not there for bedtime," Ryan says, and you roll your eyes.

"You're just mad because she's as stubborn as you are."

"That is... not entirely untrue." 

You spend the rest of the dinner laughing and messing with each other. You even catch yourself leaning into Joel's side because he's so warm and comfortable, and the wine is making you deliriously happy. When the bill is placed on the table, you all fight over who gets to pay until Carolina chucks Ryan's card at the waiter. Joel holds his hand over the table, and Ryan shakes it in a form of masculine affection. "You really didn't have to do that, man," Joel says. "Next dinner is on me, alright?" He could be saying it to save face, but the idea that Joel likes Ryan and Carolina makes something in your chest feel warm and fuzzy.

Ryan practically carries Carolina to the car so they can relinquish the nanny for the night, but you and Joel go upstairs to the rooftop bar. You reason that it's high enough to hide from paparazzi, and you also needed an excuse to get some fresh air. You both order water and perch on a couch in the corner. At first, you don't say anything. Not because you're mad at him but because you're worried you'll ruin the night if you do. However, you don't need to exchange words for Joel to see you shivering and put his jacket over your shoulders. You smile and turn to look at him.

"This is the second time you've given me your jacket."

"Want me to stop?" He asks, genuinely curious, and you shake your head. A soft smile takes over his features, and you have to look away before you get sucked in. 

"What'd you think of Ryan and Carolina?" You ask as you take a sip of water. His arm rests behind you again, and he adjusts to get more comfortable.

"I really liked 'em. They seem like good people."

"They are. Ryan and I were friends before I even moved to LA," you say. "I think they liked you too."

"Yeah?" He asks, and you nod. You meet his eyes again and hope he can see your sincerity.

"Yeah. Thanks for not being a total dick to them." You say, and he laughs. He puts his water on the table in front of you before reaching across you to dig into his jacket pocket. This close, you can smell the detergent he washed his shirt with and see the freckles faintly littering his skin. He doesn't break eye contact with you as he pulls a pack of Marlboro Reds and a lighter out of his jacket before relaxing into his spot again. Maybe it's the wine in your system or the joy from the night still filtering through your skull, but you don't take your eyes off him as he lights a cigarette. The ember glows brighter as he takes a drag and turns away from you to exhale. His jawline is sharp, and his neck looks especially pretty as he takes a breath.

"What're you thinkin' bout, pretty girl?" He asks, breaking your train of thought, and you smirk as you lean forward. His eyes drop to the neckline of your tank top, giving you the perfect opportunity to snatch the cigarette out of his hand and put it to your lips. He watches as you take a drag, your lipstick staining the filter, and exhale with a sigh.

"Thinking bout you."

"Me?" He raises his eyebrows as you pass him the cigarette back. His thumb traces your lipstick stain before he puts it back in his mouth. "What about me?"

"About how stupid this whole situation is," you gesture vaguely around you. "About how we really shouldn't be so mean to each other." 

"You're a sentimental drunk," he says, passing you the cigarette without acknowledging it, and you smile. It really wouldn't be that hard to pull another cigarette out of his pack for you, but he doesn't. Your fingers graze his as you take it, flicking the ash to the side. He waits until you blow smoke out of your nose to mess with the sleeves of his shirt and nod. "But, maybe you're right."

"Oh, say it again." You say, and he gives you a look. You pass the cigarette back even though about half of it is burned down from you two sharing it. His long drags don't help salvage it.

"I really shouldn't have said what I said bout you sleepin' with people to get famous. That was really fucked up, and I'm sorry." 

"It was really fucked up. And unoriginal. And fucking stupid. And completely untrue," you say, and he looks a little worried. "But, thank you for apologizing." He nods and offers you the last little bit of glowing cigarette. 

"Can we call a truce?" 

"A truce?"

"Yeah. We'll stop goin' out of our way to make each other's life fuckin' miserable and move on. Maybe at the end of this, we could even be friends." He says, and you take a deep breath as you take the cigarette from him. 

"You always make peace agreements with nicotine?" 

"You're my first, pretty girl."

There's that fucking nickname again. It's better than darling, and you should hate it, but the way he says it makes your head swim. You inhale the last drag and stub it out in the ashtray next to your water as you try to get your thoughts under control again. You catch the bartender looking over at you and Joel, and an uneasy feeling crawls up your spine. You swallow it down and look at Joel.

"I'll agree to a truce." You say, smoke leaving your mouth as you talk, and he smiles. 

"Should we shake on it?" He asks. You glance between him and the bartender and scoot closer to him. His eyes flick from yours to your lips and back up to your eyes.

"I would say yes," you whisper. "But, I think that bartender figured out who we are."

"So, what should we do instead?" He asks, his voice so low that you almost miss it over your own heartbeat. You want to roll your eyes at how stupid his question is but kiss him instead. His hands come up to your jaw, and you wrap your hand around his wrist to keep him there. There are traces of nicotine and tequila on his lips, but you can't focus on it too hard before his teeth graze your bottom lip. He swallows your gasp and soothes the sudden pain with his tongue. You would push him away and yell at him if it didn't feel so good. You can’t help but wonder what his mouth would feel like on your neck or your thighs. You wonder what pretty girl would sound like in between pants and broken moans. You wonder if he’d leave bruises on your inner thighs for you to find in the morning. The thoughts startle you out of the moment, and you pull away from him, turning to kiss the inside of his wrist. 

"'M getting tired. Can you take me home?" You ask. He looks like a kicked puppy but nods anyway. He holds your hand the whole way down the stairs, through the restaurant, and to the car. You make shitty small talk the whole way back to your house like nothing happened, but you're grateful to have moved past the suffocating uncomfortable silence. He taps on his steering wheel again and changes the station when his own song comes on the radio, making you laugh. When he pulls into your driveway, you linger for a moment and look at him through the darkness. "Thank you for being so nice to my friends." 

"I really did like 'em," he says. You pick at your nailbeds as you try to find a way to apologize for abruptly ending the evening. You feel bad for some reason. You were actually having a good time together, and then you made it weird. "Can I walk you to your door?" He asks, and you take a deep breath.

"I think I can get myself inside. Thank you, though."

"Welcome." He says as you unbuckle your seatbelt and open the door. Joel's jacket shifts around you, and you suddenly remember that you're still wearing it.

"Oh, here. Let me give you your jacket back before I forget."

"Don't worry about it." He waves you off, and you furrow your eyebrows at him.

"What do you mean don't worry about it? I'm not gonna steal your jacket, Joel."

"You're not stealin' it. You're just borrowin' it, right? I bet tabloids will eat it up if they see you wearin' it," he says. "Besides, it looks better on you anyways." You laugh and shake your head as you adjust your purse on your shoulder. 

"Goodnight, Joel."

"G'night, pretty girl." He says. You shut the door and walk up the sidewalk to your front door, secretly cursing that stupid fucking nickname and how weak in the knees it makes you. His car lingers in the driveway until he sees you unlock the door and flicker the front lights at him, letting him know you got in safely. He honks twice before pulling away and driving off into the night.

You make a point to lock your door behind you and lean against it. You let out a shaky breath like it will expel his voice from your head and jump when your phone buzzes in your back pocket. When you pull it out, a bright text from Melanie stares back at you.

Two dates in a row?! You're killing it! This will be over before you know it <3

And attached to her scarily cheerful text is a picture of you and Joel kissing. It's blurry and obviously taken from far away, but it's there nonetheless. You pinch the bridge of your nose and send her a thumbs-up emoji before sending Ryan a "made it home" text and turning your phone off. The image of Joel's teeth scraping your bottom lip burns into your eyelids as you close your eyes and try to figure out where the fuck you go from here. 

[jewbeloved]

This was a fun little idea that came to mind

What about Stan and Kyle (separately) with a motherly like girlfriend? Like she's super kind and sweet, always taking care of her boyfriend. But she's also a Mama bear and can be super protective whether it's him getting into a fight or being sick

Thank you <3

Stan and Kyle with a motherly s/o💖💖

Warnings: None

Gender: Female

💙 Stan Marsh 🍼

Legit, every time he comes home from school you're always waiting by his door to greet him while holding some snacks and treats you made for him.

If you ask me, I don't think Stan has ever seen or been with anybody that is this generous and kind to him.

He really admires your talents and hard work you do for him.

Whenever his parents and sister aren't home, you both always hangout together. You always made sure that he was eating healthy and took care of his chores for him.

Oh my god, he loves your cooking!!!

He will eat anything you make him! Cookies, cake, donuts, pie, soup, pancakes, waffles, and etc.

He probably also talks to Kyle about you all the time.

Whenever you gave other people snacks that you made, Stan might get a little bit jealous because he always wanted to be the first to try whatever you make.

You're also very protective of Stan as well.

You always make sure that he doesn't get in a fight or hurt at all.

You also always show up and shoo away the 6th graders whenever they're bothering him or his friends.

Maybe the world isn't as shitty as he thought it would <3💙💙💙💙💙💙

💚 Kyle Broflovski 🧃

AHHHHHHH CUTENESS OVERLOAD IS GOING TO BE ON A WHOLE OTHER LEVEL NOW!💖💖💖💖💖💖

Legit, Kyle admires you way more than Stan does. The first time you guys both met, it couldn't even believe it himself but he had latched onto you ever since.

Dating you is like he has found the key to comfort and happiness, like he has finally escaped all of the negative impacts around him whenever he was with you.

Every time he sees you he just wants to give you a big hug 🥰🥰 hugging you is one of his love languages! You're so soft like a pillow whenever he hugs you!

You literally become a whole killing machine when it comes to protecting Kyle from danger.

He might have to hold you back before you hurt anybody.

He also loves your cooking as well, he might even cook something for you in return. He 100% uses a cook book though.

You're always so sweet and generous, it honestly makes him want to pepper your face with kisses to show his love for you as well.

He also likes it whenever you defend him from Cartman ripping on him for being a Jew.

"What's wrong with Kyle being a Jew fatass?"

"What do you mean what's wrong?! Jews are also classified as sinners you know, the jewish population should be dying out by now"

"They can only die out if they stop reproducing you fucking idiot!" You pulled Kyle towards you as you hissed at Cartman.

Kyle is so lucky to have you💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

A...B...C...D...E...F...GUN!

[ashysmultifandomcatdump]

trying my best to make out what the storybook fourteen is reading says so that you don't have to

last night after the subscriber special came out i spent an hour and a half trying to read and type out the contents of this book!!! i got most of it but there's still parts i couldn't read due to lighting esp towards the end so if anyone has been able to read those parts please let me know!!!!!!

A NEW SYMBOL

At the beginning of this story are two symbols: Addition and subtraction. For the longest time, that's the only thing numbers knew. I'm not exactly sure how the numeral species took so long to discover anything outside of those two symbols. Maybe they were content with what they had already— Maybe they were just stupid.

Anyway, back to the story at hand. Actually, no. We need to go a bit deeper here, I think. First graders learn about multiplication and division. How were they just unable to figure this out? It's really not that hard. I'm just being honest, here. Why should anyone be interested in this "tale" when it's predicated on such an unbelievable premise? An entire population of sentient, powerful beings and not a single one of them could come up with an array? They're literally numbers, for crying out loud! I just feel like they could've figured this out earlier, I guess.

Whatever, quick recap, the numbers only knew about addition and subtraction for a long while. They had a lot of fun adding into each other and all that. They really liked it.

Multiplication, which is really just doing addition multiple times in a row, (Think about it, four multiplied by three is just adding four together three times. Isn't that cool), was discovered shortly after. There were some problems with it, and there still are some problems with it. A lot of numbers don't really mess with multiplication anymore. Every single time they try to, something ends up going wrong. It's not fun! Addition is fun. Well, I find it quite boring, but they find it fun.

Division, however, stayed a mystery for the longest time. Which, it bears repeating, is absolutely unbelievable. Division is quite literally just opposite multiplication.

Remember when I said multiplication is just addition multiple times in a row? Well, division is just subtraction multiple times in a row. Again, shocking that it took them so long to figure this out. I can imagine the moment now.

A lot of the time, the stupid people among us tend to have the best ideas. A lot of great ideas are unsaid just because they sound stupid. Like, imagine being all smart and educated in the 1500's and suggesting the idea of electricity. Oh, wow, magic beams from the sky can power gigantic and complex machines! Get out of here, man. But that's actually how it works! So I don't really know what happened, but we can probably guess that someone stupid— 9 or 7— brought up the idea of "reverse multiplication." I'm not sure. Maybe those two weren't even alive. I'm not exactly sure why I was the one to pen this history into the annals of time. I really do not know a single thing about what actually happened.

Anyway, let's say all the numbers were just sitting around, having a lot of fun, and playing on the seesaw. 9 walks in after a visit to the local multiplication symbol. She has a weird thought in her head, and she confidently brings up the idea of division. She's laughed at and made to feel very, very dumb. Little did they all know, however, that the idea of division is very, very real. It had just been forgotten about. More on that later.

THE POWER

The division symbol is theorized(?) to be extremely powerful, giving [??] leftward [????] the power to split themselves into multiple parts. The amount of parts the leftward number splits into is equivalent to the value of the rightward number in the equation.

The graphic below displays the basic capabilities of the division symbol. 16, being four multiplied by four, can get divided by 4 into four fours. These fours are all 16, just split up in between four different bodies. They all act like 16 and share 16's colors. This is because these four 4's are 16. 16 has disappeared due to splitting themself into quarters. Ultimately, 16 is splitting themself up. Imagine if you were split into four identical bodies— that's what happened to 16. Only in the graphic, of course. 16 is kind of a scaredy-cat, so I don't think they would be keen to split themselves up like this. Which is frankly weird to me. I think of it the same way I think of people who chicken out of riding roller coasters. Like, you stand in line for an hour and a half and watch thousands of people [?????????? i CANNOT make this out sorry]. Not a single person there. When's the last time [?????????????]? It doesn't happen! So what is there to be scared of! Do you think you're [?????]? You're not. You'll survive. Roller coasters are fun. Why are you robbing yourself of the experience?

Sorry for that, this book wasn't really the place for it. I think I could just delete it, but, um, I really don't feel like it. I got commissioned to write like at least 200 pages of this thing, and I'm kind of already running out of ideas. You saw it yourself, a couple dozen pages ago I went into a 2 page lecture about the history of devilled eggs. I literally just copied that from Wikipedia. I'm starting to think I'm not being paid for my writing ability, but just because someone was too lazy to do what I'm doing right now. Insane! This thing should be like, a pamphlet at most.

Whatever, I should probably get back on the topic at hand. The division symbol is very powerful because it allows the number to split themselves up. This is beneficial for manual labor and especially [????i don't know what that word is fighting? tighting? tichtong? what!].

Imagine how much you could get done in a day if there was a clone of you around. That's like, a basic sitcom plotline. It's relatable! The numbers, lucky as they are, get to live in a reality where this is possible. You need to lift a really heavy, wide object? Just divide yourself by two. Of course, you'd have to find 2 in order to divide yourself by them. That's really the only downside of the symbol. A lot of the smaller numbers don't like being "used" for division. They have their own lives! But yeah, division is very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, powerful.

THE LOSS

Those who ruled the numeric realm at the time were not pleased with the existence of the division symbol. You know how people say when you're alone you're weak, and when you're united you stand. Well, yeah, extrapolate that concept into this. Do you think those who enjoy power over a population of powerful numbers like the idea of them splitting themselves into a million little equally-powerful pieces? No!

So those in power really did not like the division symbol at all. Like, they really, really did not like it. Like when you walk by a group in public and they start reciting jokes you swear you saw online six years ago to each other. Like, are you that unoriginal? You think you can impress your friends by stealing other people's jokes? They aren't even that good of jokes! It's just sad, honestly, just show them the joke on your phone, or something like that.

It just really grinds my gears, honestly. So I can really imagine how it feels to be whoever ruled the land of the numbers felt. I don't really think it was justified; in fact, it was kind of evil, honestly. But, like, if I happened to have dominion over those idiots? Yeah, I probably would want to get rid of the self-destruct button they randomly found and learned how to use. Especially if there are 2 other self destruct buttons out there for them to use. I say 2 because subtraction is kind of useless. Like... It doesn't really help anyone. Multiplication and addition are pretty cool though!

So, yeah, one night the numbers were having fun, partying, and just generally enjoying themselves— as numbers are known to do. They generally liked to hang out around the division symbol, actually. They really liked it! It was probably one of their favorite things in the world. Of course, everyone had their own personal favorite thing. 9's favorite thing was his sunglasses. His old ones, the real retro ones. They had a rainbow gradient instead of a desert gradient. Doesn't that sound cool? Meh. I don't need your approval anyway. Who cares. 8's favorite thing is when all of the other numbers are quiet. What a weirdo.

So the numbers partied all night. They sang songs and danced around. Blah blah blah. At the dead of night, the last number finally decided to go to bed. Numbers sleep, by the way. I don't think they really need to? I'll be honest I know almost nothing about those things. They're kind of useless? They're also annoying.

While they were asleep, however, the evil ruler of the realm took the division symbol and removed it from its place! It's a pretty heavy symbol, so I'm actually kind of amazed that a group of people were able to just pick it up like that. As you'll see later, 2 is also able to just pick it up on their own. Isn't that insane? Like, 2, let me know your workout regimen or something. I could use a tip or two. Haha, two, 2.

Ok, back on track for real, now. BFDI season 1 is the best season. Like, by a mile! It's just so whimsical and fun and awesome. My favorite episode is episode 6, The Power of Three. What's up with 3 anyway? Why aren't they in these things? We're all thinking it, right? This is meta, lol.

For real this time, let's get back on track. The numbers woke up the next morning to find their precious division symbol gone! All that remained was the discolored patch of grass that laid under the symbol for so many years.

The numbers were shocked and horrified by the division symbol being taken. 9 cried for like, three days straight, I think. It would've been cute if it wasn't so pathetic. Like, you're an adult, man. Either way, it was still a tragedy, though. The symbol meant a lot to these freaks! And now it was gone! The fun was over! They got over it quite quickly, though. Like, I'm not kidding, they all forgot about it the literal next day. It was like it never existed. Isn't that just crazy? These things are so weird, man. Like. Gosh. Just crazy.

Leading spots where experts think the division symbol might be hidden. It's not clear why they think these spots have the most potential. But they're the experts! So listen to 'em. Also, look, map! Go obsess over what the map means or something if that's what you're interested in. Go wild!

THE SEARCH

Why am I still writing this. How many pages are even left! Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

The typography on those "blahs" is really ugly. So I'm going to stop using them to fill space. The numbers embarked on an epic search for the division symbol, but were a little too stupid to end up finding it. Who would've guessed! This is partly why I said they just forgot about it earlier. They tried searching for it, got lost, and instantly gave up! What losers! Can't commit to the simplest of tasks.

If I remember correctly, 7, the genius he is, started climbing a tree to get a good vantage point. The only [???????? the rest of the paragraph is like impossible to read]

[honestly this section and the next several paragraphs are so hard to read i can make out a few words and sentences but most of it is illegible for me it's not worth typing them out at this hour. pains me to do this but i must skip to the end...i did my best]

Last paragraph on this page, better make it count. Lalalalalalalala. Uhhh... Yeah I can't make this one count. There's really nothing to talk about with "The Search". There literally wasn't one. There's no way anyone is reading this far down. Whatever. Bye.

[evilwickedme]

"you're worth it." and/or "you need sleep for jayroy maybe?

(i can't remember if you actually like that ship so if you don't feel free to pick your own)

I absolutely LOVE JayRoy and have written multiple fics for them anyway it's one am let's see what comes out

on ao3

unglued, thanks to you

It's been a long couple of days.

Everyone Roy knows is out of the state right now, for so many different and yet equally good reasons, so he hasn't had anyone available to babysit in days. Then Lian caught this bug that's been going around, and she's spent the last three days throwing up anything she's eaten, while Roy desperately tries to keep her hydrated, staying up all night with her as she shivers. His heart aches for his little girl, but he can't do anything about it except wait for it to pass. As if that stress wasn't enough, he hasn't had a steady job in a couple of months, and last he checked he was almost out of money for rent, let alone groceries or medicine or a paid sitter. And he can't even take any job offers he's getting, because he can't just leave Lian behind while half his family is MIA, some of them literally. Hell, he'd have joined them in the search if it weren't for... Everything else.

He's worried about his family, and he's worried about Lian, and he's just tired. He's so, so tired. Still, he can't help it - when Jason calls, he picks up.

"Hey," he says.

Jason must pick up on the exhaustion in his voice, because instead of hello he opens with, "Jesus Christ, when's the last time you slept?"

Roy takes offense to that. Considering the circumstances, he's been getting plenty of sleep. "I'll have you know I got to take a two hour nap just this afternoon," he says indignantly.

"Uh-huh," Jason says, "and last night?"

"Why are you calling, Jason?" Roy says tiredly.

"I'm in Star right now," Jason answers, letting the matter drop. "Connecting flight got canceled so I pivoted. Can I crash at yours?"

Roy hesitates. "It's not that you're not welcome," Roy says, searching for the right words. "I just - " it's just awful right now, and Roy's a mess, and the apartment's a mess, and Jason probably doesn't want to deal with a sick first grader anyway. "Listen, the place is kind of a mess right now, you'd probably be better off just finding a hotel to stay at. Use Bruce's money to stay at somewhere fancy. You'd sleep better, trust me."

Jason hums to himself, like he does sometimes when he's thinking. "How's Lian, Roy?"

Roy closes his eyes. "She's down for a nap right now," he says, then admits, "but she's been sick all week."

"And hasn't Oliver been able to help? Or any of your goddamn brood?"

Like Jason has any room to talk, with all these Bats flying around nowadays. When Roy was a kid, it was just Bruce and Dick, and eventually Babs. Now every time Roy blinks, there's a new kid wearing the bat on their chest. "They're all out of town at the moment."

Jason just sighs. "I'll be there in fifteen minutes," he says, then hangs up.

Motherfucker.

Well, Jason knows what he's getting himself into.

~~~

True to his word, a quarter of an hour later Roy hears Jason's spare keys unlock his front door. "In here," he calls out from the kitchen, where he's washing some long overdue dishes. Once it was clear that Jason would be staying with them no matter what, Roy did the minor service of taking all the disgusting shit off the couch.

"Hey," Jason says, dropping his bag, which clattered conspicuously. "I thought you said Lian was napping?"

"She's out like a light, actually," Roy says. "I'm hoping she'll actually sleep through the night tonight. Would make for a nice change."

Jason stays silent for a while, and the back of Roy's head prickles, but he keeps washing the dishes until, suddenly, Jason's hand is on his arm, startling him into stillness.

"C'mon," Jason says. "I can do this."

"They're my dishes," Roy objects.

"You need sleep," Jason says. "Your kid's sick, I get it. But I can keep an eye on her for a few hours. Go, get some rest. If only so I don't have to look at those fucking bags under your eyes. You look terrible."

"Jay," Roy sighs.

"I'll fucking carry you to bed if I have to," Jason threatens mildly.

Roy looks at him, then looks back at the running water, then shoots a longing look at the door to his bedroom. He really does want - need, desperately need - some rest. And Lian likes Jason. And Roy really, really doesn't want to be doing the dishes right now.

"Okay," he says. Then, after a pause, "Thank you, Jaybird."

"Anytime," Jason says gruffly. He hipchecks Roy, who relents, raising his hands in surrender and walking to his bedroom. "Seeya in six hours."

"Four," Roy counters.

"Eight," Jason corrects.

Roy rolls his eyes before closing his door. He sets his alarm for three hours, and falls asleep as soon as he closes his eyes.

~~~

Roy opens his eyes suddenly, momentarily disoriented. There's sunlight coming through the window - he's still in his jeans - he crashed last night - Jason came over last night - didn't he set an alarm?

Honestly, Roy wouldn't put it past Jay to sneak into his room and turn the alarm off, but maybe he just slept through it. Either way, it's too late now.

He feels so heavy, but still he forces himself to get up. He needs to check up on Lian, maybe clean up a little if she's still out, make some food out of whatever's still left in the pantry.

He's going over his to-do list in his mind as he steps out into the living room, and he does a double take.

The place is spotless. All the dishes are gone, the dirty clothes are in the laundry hamper by the laundry machine that stands close to the kitchen because there's no room for it in this tiny apartment else, and assorted electronics are piled up on the now clear surface of the little table they sometimes use to eat. The floor has been swept, too, with the dust bunnies Roy has become resigned to live with all cleared out.

There's no sign of Lian, but Jason is humming in the kitchen, so Roy joins him, leaning against the wall as he watches Jay slice vegetables that were definitely not in Roy's kitchen last night.

"You let me sleep in," Roy accuses.

Jason snorts. "Yeah, obviously. You needed the sleep, man. You probably haven't looked in the mirror in four days, but you looked miserable, trust me." He glances up at Roy, then back down to the cucumber under his knife. "You look, uh, much better now. Could probably use a shower."

"Fuck you," Roy says amicably. "Where's this come from?"

"I had some groceries delivered this morning," Jason answers casually. "I put the order in after I finished the dishes, then started cleaning up while I stayed up. Lian woke up eventually, so I made sure she got some fluids and gave her the meds on the counter - I'm assuming those were her meds, she was a little out of it and couldn't confirm it for me, but she seemed better after, so I figured, yeah."

"Yeah, those were the right meds," Roy says. "Thanks, again."

"Anytime," Jason says. He's now slicing a large red tomato. The juices spurt a little onto Jason's hand, who grimaces for a second before continuing.

"No, seriously," Roy says earnestly. "You were just looking for a place to crash. You didn't need to do any of this. I just - cleaning this place up must have taken you all night."

"Well," Jason says. "Consider it payback for all the times you saved my ass. And for letting me crash here."

Roy's heart pounds in his chest, and he looks around the kitchen. "Can I help?"

Jason waves at him dismissively. "I'm almost done here anyway," he says. "Go, wash up, or check on your daughter, or just sit down for five goddamn minutes."

Roy huffed, unable to stop himself from laughing. And then he did just that. Took a brisk shower, then checked up on Lian - sleeping again, and her bucket was empty, which was good - and then he rejoined Jason, just in time for him to hand him a plate, full to the brim with a cheese omelette, buttered toast, and a chopped salad.

"This looks amazing, Jaybird," Roy says honestly, and he could swear he sees Jason's ears turn a little red.

"Eat your damn breakfast," is all he says.

Roy puts the plate down on the table and takes Jason's hand. His eyes snap up to his face, and he looks - confused.

Roy rubs a thumb over Jason's palm. The texture is complicated, scarred and calloused, but he likes it. It's not unlike his own. "Thanks," Roy says again.

"You don't need to keep saying it," Jason says.

"Yeah, I do," Roy says. "And I'll keep saying it til you take me seriously."

"Yeah, well," Jason says. "You're worth it."

[katethevampire]

All right so the new episodes just came out like 20 minutes ago for me (oh yeah me from the future here it ended up taking me about 3 hours to finish watching the episodes cuz I kept pausing to write stuff in between so uh yeah lol) so everything under the cut will be my live reaction to everything. I'll add time stamps so you know where I'm at in the episodes. I can guarantee you that I will be sticking to my promise about potentially eating paper if I'm wrong about Sir Pentious not dying. Which honestly now I'm not sure if anyone will die, it was pretty much confirmed in a live stream that angel dust isn't going to be the one to die so my money is on one of the Angels. Also I'm using voice to text and while I'll try and fix any misspellings or wrong words I might miss them.

LOTS OF SWEARING PROBABLY also I very much abuse capslock

EPISODE 7

00:51- I love Sir Pentious looking at Keke I just thought I should mention that

01:03- OH MY GOD NO KEKE MOVED TO HIS LAP AND HE'S PETTING HER I LOVE HIM SM

01:10 aw Alastor was sleepy you guys woke him up!

01:22- I CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE RAZZLE AND DAZZLE BEING CUTE CHARLIE IS CRYING

01:29- he did the gay little hand thing

01:50- okay so I've already seen this part because of the small leak but I cannot get over the fact that Alastor has his shoes on the bed!! Like man take those off you're getting it dirty!!!!

01:59- mfs kicking his feet on the bed acting like a high school girl about to ask out her crush on the phone at a sleepover like dude you're a serial killer you can't do this to me 😭 also I should probably slow down cuz I'm making an update literally every 2 seconds

02:18 BROS CHECKING HIS NAILS AND DOING THAT POSE WHILE MAKING FUN OF HER ABOUT THE FACT THAT SHE UNINTENTIONALLY MIGHT HAVE CAUSED THE DEATHS OF MILLIONS 💀💀💀 so fruity i love

2:33- Alasto be like "it's called masking deary. Ever heard of it?"

2:44- if he wasn't saying this in such an evil manner right now I'd be saying he's so me frfr

3:07- what do I even say to that line. He popped off but also like respectfully I think I've heard a third grader say the exact same thing

3:53- OKAY SO I WAS GOING TO SAY SOMETHING BUT I'VE COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN LOOK AT THIS FRAME, this could easily be the profile picture for someone's film review channel and I'm not 100% sure that people will understand what I mean by that unless you know a very specific person

04:38- Alastor is in his hat man era

4:33- okay so a few things, thank you subtitles for telling me that the music is edgy I feel like just the word tense would have worked on its own but I appreciate it nonetheless. Number two, I don't like seeing the girlies be mad at each other :(

05:34 I will support my boy Sir Pentious through and through he did nothing wrong!!

06:54- not the voice I was expecting for Rosie but pop up Queen she speaks the truth

07:24- ROSIE KNOWS WHAT YOU ARE ALASTOR. Also his confusion, I love him so much

11:04- she's kind of like that one Pokemon

Ad time!- I DON'T CARE ABOUT VITAMIN PILLS THAT DOUBLE MY LIFESPAN

11:13- catabettes! Cannibals and catabettes!!! This is going into my vocabulary from now on. Also this frame that I paused at I love her face.

11:57- ugh, susan. All my homies hate Susan

12:54- I have a dream, I'm here to cause a scandal in the cannibal square

13:37- :( well it wasn't obvious to me I just thought the x over the eye was to look cool :(

14:35- SONG FUCK YEAH

15:26 If this song came out years ago I know for a fact there would have been an undertale parody version of it. Also I just got a cosmic brownie and some chocolate milk let's go guys we're eating good tonight

16:00 HOLY FUCKING SHIT SHE CAN JUST GROW BACK HER WINGS

16:30- therapist Rosie is not something I thought I'd be seeing today but honestly I love it. Also I don't think I'm going to be able to finish these episodes today because I'm only a little over 15 minutes through and I've been watching for like almost over half an hour and also I just realized that what if Lucifer is the one that dies?

18:12 ALASTOR GAVE HER HIS MICROPHONE I'M GOING TO EXPLODE INTO A BAJILLION CRYING PIECES RAHHHHHH

19:38 I'm going crazy I'm going insane right now bro literally what how I don't know what to say I love this act I don't know, it's just really good I don't know what to say like this is cool I don't I DON'T KNOW! IT'S I I LIKE IT everybody in cannibal town is cool and I like them and it's like 10 seconds later now and they're literally So based like free food like so me I don't know I'm just rambling at this point

20:56 ALASTOR AND ROSIE'S LITTLE DANCE THEIR LITTLE TIPPY TAPS OH MY GOD YES

21:06- alastor, you know it's not right to make someone your political puppet. Your little dances are cute though so I'll allow it for now.

I don't know why it thought I was speaking Spanish for a second but anyways that episode was really cute and good and I liked it but I'm also scared for the next episode cuz like now I'm wondering is someone actually going to die or were people just lying. I feel like either Adam is going to be the one to die or it's going to be Lucifer cuz they mentioned a lot in the previous episode about how Charlie needs to take up the throne and get ready to take her place on the throne like why does she need to take her place on the throne? Isn't that her dad's job??? Please don't kill Lucifer off please please please 🙏 also I'm still not on board and probably will never will be on the whole political puppet thing. Like I just know I just have a feeling in my bones that alastor's favor is going to be something like "Let me be the ruler of hell lololol" or something anyways

EPISODE 8

01:01-Why are you watching other men get fucked?🤨 (/j)

01:19 🥺 I love 🥺 I oove him so 🥺 so much 🥺🥺🥺 does he have a spatula like spongebob

02:02- wait so how is Vox watching them like does he have bug cameras in the air like those little guys in v3 (woah now I have to put a Danganronpa spoiler on this)

03:42 SOFT ALASTOR FANFICTION WRITERS QUICK WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE THAT DOWN!!!

04:18- I'm not even the biggest huskerdust shipper but awwwww also I don't ship him with anyone but I just want to see Sir Pentious happy pleaseeee also the little Melody of loser baby in the background

04:48- ugh I am clutching my heart right now Sir Pentious is my SON and I LOVE HIM

04:58- what the fuck that ao3 tag was canon this WHOLE TIME???? WHEN DID YOU GUYS HEAR ABOUT THIS?????

05:05- I told you angel dust wasn't going to die

05:38- it's like the song but different! Reprise it's called a reprise also is Mimzy gonna come back

07:15- Vox, you know that you guys are going to die if they lose too right?

Okay I can't timestamp this cuz I'll just be pausing every 2 seconds but just know that everything I'm saying after this is from 07:52 to whatever number I put after later right here->09:47

Okay, so this might be a weird comparison but you know like My Little pony Battle scenes? This feels like that in the very best way possible where they have the scenes with all the different characters fighting with the different music.

Oh my God yes Cherry bomb and angel dust I love them also that was a fire transition also I JUST NOTICED THAT SIR PENTIOUS HAT ALSO HAS THE EYE DOES HE JUST HAVE I HATS FOR EVERY OCCASION

Uh oh Adams angry he's going to do a my hero academia

Oh shit it actually worked that's not good.

I TOLD YOU I CALLED IT VOX IS HORNY

Oh my God that is such a cool shot guys someone should make that frame of Alastor their computer background

OH MY GOD WHOEVER ANIMATED THAT SCENE I LOVE YOU I'M LITERALLY GIVING YOU A METAPHORICAL KISS ON THE MOUTH IN THE PLATONIC SENSE ALASTOR LOOKED SO COOL

Guys I think Adam's going to die

😨 okay so Alastor's microphone just broke and I paused it to add that emoji but as I did the people I live with got home so I'm going to have to pause it for there? I'll update if I get prime working on my phone. Also isn't alastor's microphone alive? Maybe that's the character that died.

Update: all right I got it set up on my phone about 30 minutes later now we're resuming

09:47- okay so I think it's interesting that Alastor pretty much lost all his powers as soon as his microphone broke, my guess is probably that whoever has his soul (lilith, eve, or anyone else) gave the mic to him.

09:53- I like the detail that Alastor is still smiling even though he literally just got slammed against the wall, also Vox has the biggest hate boner for Alastor like

10:02- Alastor: "Have to disagree with you there, radio's not dead." Hun you are bleeding out I'm sorry but I don't think you can gaslight girlboss your way out of this one, also I'm sorry to tell you but the only thing they play on my local radio station now besides music is like, a show that's only on at like 7 in the morning where people call to complain about how their husband wraps Christmas presents

10:38- haha silly also EGGS!!

10:43- NO WAIT MY BRAIN DIDN'T REGISTER THAT THAT EGG WAS CRACKED THEY KILLED THE FUCKING EGG!!!!!! Angel, kill them.

11:12- no no no Sir Pentious you better not I don't want to eat paper

11:21- good for him

11:44- NO GOD DAMN IT PLEASE HAVE A REVEAL THAT ALASTOR OR LUCIFER OR SOMEONE ELSE SAVED HIM PLEASE 🙏🙏🙏 I AM BEGGING ON MY HANDS AND KNEES

12:03- okay this is really cool but is he actually dead cuz I'll legitimately be really sad if so

12:50- *that one vine* "*gasp* Adam."

13:23- KILL HIS ASS CHARLIE

14:12 yes Vaggie, queen shit

SIR PENTIOUS ARE YOU DEAD /J OR /SRS?????

14:35 I KNEW IT I KNOW HE WAS GOING TO COME BACK I MEAN I GOT KIND OF SPOILED CUZ I I SAW THE COVER OF THE EPISODE BUT WOAH 10/10 ENTRANCE

14:44- gasp! His face!

15:00- he is, so stupid. I love him.

15:51-okay I went quiet for a minute cuz there were so much happening but oh my God what do I even say this is just so cool also I don't know if this is intentional or not but the blood stain on Charlie's hair is shaped like an apple

16:34- NIFFTY RAHHHHHHH

17:08- wait okay I had a brief thought that maybe lute was actually Eve but I think I'm wrong on that

17:13- Sir Pentious would've liked pancakes :((((((

Ad Time! I don't care about hard Rock Cafe I just want to know whether or not Sir Pentious is actually dead please I'm going through all the stages of grief right now and Brandan Rogers just came on my screen as Katie killjoy please

18:04- Keke :(

Oh my God they're going to find him in the rubble right? ... Right?? Right guys right???????

18:10- fat nuggets survived that's good I see a rock that looks suspiciously shaped like Sir Pentious military hat whoa guys I wonder if that means anything and it looks like it's up like someone is standing? Whoa I wonder if they'll check behind that rock please

18:16- wait is he actually dead I'm genuinely about to cry

19:16- I am not crying about his death until the episode ends I am not crying until it is 100% CONFIRMED that he died

20:50- omg alastor's alive, he's in his Jack's skeleton era that means that maybe Sir Pentious is also-

21:08- friends :) he said friends just saying

22:04- I TOLD YOU I FUCKING TOLD YOU I TOLD YOU THAT BY DYING IT WAS JUST A CHARACTER BEING REDEEMED I TOLD YOU I'M SO SMART I'M NOT EATING PAPER HAHAHAHAHA I'M THE GREATEST MAN ALIVE HE'S NOT DEAD MY SNAKE BOY ISN'T DEAD HOW DID I GET SO ATTACHED TO HIM I DON'T KNOW BUT I LOVE HIM YES I CAN'T EXPRESS MY EMOTIONS RIGHT NOW I'M GENUINELY SO HAPPY THIS IS WHY THIS IS WHY I WAITED UNTIL THE VERY END TO CRY ABOUT HIM I KNEW HE WASN'T GOING TO BE DEAD THEY WOULDN'T KILL HIM OFF THEY WOULDN'T KILL MY SNAKE BOY OFF JUST LIKE THAT

22:34- you're telling me Lilith was just doing hot girl shit on the beach for 7 years.

[inkyucu]

Alright, so.... I typed up all of this for a friend because they wanted to know more about this AU, and I was not about to let this amount of typing just go to waste. So I'm posting it. Think of this as an info post for this AU I guess

In other words: The basic story of 'The Cursed Tanzanite' AU - A sams/tsams AU I refuse to call a sams AU most of the time because of how irrelevant it is to actual sams

Enjoy

Ok, so let's start with Sun's backstory before everything (his backstory is like the only one mostly important)

You have Sun and Moon. Sun and Moon are royalty. Sun was the little sister (yes, sister) to Moon. She looked up to her older brother and thought he could do no wrong and that he was always right. Moon was her older brother who was training to be a fighter because having a warrior king is badass. He helped her learn how to fight, but also just hung out with her and was a pretty nice sibling to have, unlike most.

One day, the two heard a rumor from the townsfolk of a demon in a cave in the forest. Moon was uncertain of this and wanted to tell their parents so they could handle the matter, but Sun managed to convince him that they together were strong enough to defeat the demon

They get to the cave and meet Bloodmoon. He was a powerful demon, even though he would've been a younger and weaker demon at this time. Anyway, Bloodmoon brutally murders Moon as he tries to protect Sun, and Sun escapes alive. She's not really blamed (keep in mind this child is probably like a first grader-), but this event leads to her being closed off from everyone and kinda being a state or regret, shock, and depression for a while.

Eventually she starts fighting again and starts presenting themselves as male so they are taken more seriously (and you can't really fight in a dress ajpvlzjbpkab + just like- feeling comfortable with who you are because that's also a factor-). Eventually they work up the courage to go back to the cave to defeat the demon, or at the very least be with their brother again.

When he gets there, its abandoned. Bloodmoon left the area. But there was one thing he found. A purpleish gem that was later identified to be tanzanite. He wears it, as a memory of his brother at first. It is later discovered that this gem has magic, and this magic grows more powerful the more demons it consumes, and the more it's used, the more it takes over the user (in other words - it's cursed in a bad way). But of course, Sun doesn't know the second part of that-

After getting this necklace, he quickly becomes stronger and more powerful, eventually becoming a well respected demon killer [which is present day]

(Oh yeah I forgot to mention that he and Moon were really close to Solar since really young- Solar is a bit older than Sun, but young enough that Moon saw Solar as basically another brother)

Ok now the fucking actual story-

Sun casually is just going around killing demons, trying to track down Bloodmoon. Over this time, Sun creates alliances with several kingdoms. Two ruled by Earth (younger - and still a minor - brother being Lunar) and Monty. One being ruled by Solar - he was kind of already alleys with this kingdom though. One being ruled by an Unnamed King and Queen (daughter - and still a minor - being Ruin). Then of course you have Sun's kingdom chilling without a ruler most of the time - they're all chill though so it's fine. During this time, some shit kind of happens

*AHEM*

-Solar gets possessed by a demon named Eclipse (neither of them wanted this)

-Ruin starts to learn magic from Lunar

-I kid you not like a few weeks later Ruin gets possessed by Jigsaw (both wanted this) and goes missing for a while

-K.C. - a demon - possesses a towns person in Sun's kingdom and is basically a spy

-Thyone - a demon - possesses a robot servant in Solar's castle

-Lunar nearly gets possessed by a demon that gets beaten the fuck up by Earth

-Sun is slowly losing his mind

-Solar adopts a child named Jack (He is blind when it comes to the normal world, but he can see things like Spirits and Demons)

After all this happens, Sun hears about Solar getting possessed and immediately heads over there and nearly kills Eclipse before finding out Eclipse is actually kinda nice for a demon and could be useful

Then after this Sun and more kingdoms end up hearing about the other possessions and more demons seen possessing townsfolk, the main royals decide to have a meeting to find a way to deal with these demons

And from there there is more to the story but like I dont want to spoil it yet

(This isn't really related to the story part of the AU anymore, so you don't really have to read this part if you don't want-)

Sorry if parts of this made no sense, this is straight up pasted from that conversation because I was not retyping/rewording all that

If you have questions about anything feel free to ask, or if I've gotten something inaccurate with how I portrayed it, or if I use wording that would be considered offensive, please point it out to me or correct me

I really like this AU, and it's helping me experiment with things I don't usually mess around with or touch on - but in consequence to that I am probably severely uneducated in some things that come up in this AU. But if I do make a stupid mistake, I would like the chance to try and correct it

(Thank you for reading all of this if you did)

[da-birb-writes-sometimes]

Hello bonjour!

I've been thinking something recently...

As a fellow Canadian (hey!) with some, uh, less than magnifique French language skills, I was wondering how you think our dear francophone Rook Hunt would behave around someone with "cereal box French" (that is, able to understand it, but cannot speak it)?

Would he speak the same amount of the language around you? Even more French? Would he offer to teach the language?

I'm curious as to what you think! :)

Bonjour! I too only have "cereal box French" about the same literacy as a third-grader. even though I have 8 years of classes under my belt, but that's the education system for ya. And also, yes, a fellow Canadian; always a pleasant surprise! But here are my thoughts!

Some of the French is what I remember plus a bit of Word Reference, and much to the dismay of every French teacher that I ever had, Google Translate to fill in the gaps.

Rook Hunt with a Reader Who Has "Cereal Box" French

Okay, so he would notice that, unlike the others, you seemed like you were following along with what he was saying. "Tu parles français, trickster?" He would ask, resting his chin on his hand, waiting for an answer.

"Un petit peu," you answered. "Honestly though, I can only read it. Speaking it? Well, it isn't great. I call it 'cereal box' French."

He would smile, "Well, reading is a start. And, if you want trickster, I could teach you."

If You Accept His Offer

He would be an amazing teacher and would go at your preferred pace. Having difficulty with that one phrase? He's patient and will help you. "Très bien! Bien travail, trickster! For that one word, I would recommend rolling the 'r' a bit more."

He would ask you if you wanted to improve your accent while speaking it, so it isn't a "baguette accent" as some would put it.

It would start small, such as asking, "Comment ça va?" and seeing how long you would be able to keep the conversation going. He would be proud if you just gave him a, "Ça va bien" or proceeded to say a bit more.

Would pass you notes just in français. "Lisez ceci plus tard, mon chou.~" You can decide whether or not you want to bring up him calling you his cabbage.

His use of French would increase as your skill does. Even though it may be fun that you understand what he's saying, he would much rather speak with you. It would be a nice change of pace since no one that he knows, outside of his own family of course, speaks the language. No, Rollo does not count.

Learning through cooking would also occur. Since you did, after all, call it 'cereal box' French. "Passe l'oeuf s'il te plait, trickster. Merci beaucoup!~"

If You Deny His Offer

He would still speak the same amount of French, but he won't push to teach you if you didn't want to. Maybe just a tad more, but not by much.

He would probably be a tad bit disappointed, but wouldn't show it. At least you know some of what he's saying, and that in itself is enough for him.

Would surprise you with some family recipes that were left in his care by his arrière grand-mère, seeing if you can understand the words by yourself before helping out if you have any difficulties.

Overall, I see Rook as being pleasantly surprised but also happy, regardless or not if the reader takes him up on his offer to teach them. But very relaxed on the subject, not pushing them if they didn't want to learn. Taking it at your own pace with a gentle hand. Also, you two would probably watch French soap operas and films, just saying.

And I'm so sorry if you, much like I did, had to sit through French class watching Téléfrançais. Also, I do love the Québécois Rook headcanon, but I do know it's very niche.

I hope that you enjoyed the little headcanons. Rook, please hold French classes for those of us who want to learn.

[mangoisms]

i'll be the dangerous ledge (you be the parachute)

━ chapter five: go ahead and pull the pin | read chapter four

━ pairing: tim drake x f!reader

━ word count: 5.1k

━ warnings: none

━ masterlist

You get the spare key to Tim. The rest of your weekend is slow, relaxed. He comes over on both Saturday and Sunday and you two do your usual thing.

Each day — and Friday evening — he volunteers to change the dressings on your injuries.

You let him.

It’s easier now, not just because he had already done it the day it happened and because you two talked about it, but because you are starting to see how nice it is to have someone take care of you. Everything between you two is better. More comfortable, more… secure, now that boundaries have been discussed.

He drives you to work for the first couple days of next week, until your knee is good enough for biking again.

You had some reservations about getting back on your bike, not because you hadn’t been on it for a while — though that was a thought — but more because you hadn’t been on it since your accident happened.

You worried it might be uncomfortable for you, but aside from some… renewed fears of falling over, it’s okay. On Wednesday, you get back to it, and by Friday, it’s like nothing ever happened. 

You do have a few unsettling dreams about the incident, mostly the kind where you didn’t walk away from it. But you remind yourself that you did, that it was just an accident at the laundromat that caused everything, and not, you know, the Joker blowing up the block. A freak accident, that’s all. 

Soon enough, it is Friday, and you, Ms. C, and another class of sixth graders alongside your own are on the ferry, crossing Gotham Harbor, heading south for Metropolis. 

The field trip hadn’t been for the zoo there initially; it was Gotham’s, then sudden reports of animal cruelty and mistreatment came out and Poison Ivy’s wrath quickly followed, closing down the zoo with her deadly flora and fauna protecting it. The police arrested the staff but they didn’t catch her. No matter, you think. Metropolis’ zoo is probably better. 

But the kids weren’t looking forward to that. Mostly, they were looking forward to being in the same city as Superman, many of them raving about the chance to see him. You personally would be quite fine with not seeing him, since, you know, the only way you could was if you were all in terrible danger and that would be hard to explain to the parents. 

So, naturally, on the day of the trip, you expect the kids to be buzzing about it — about being on the ferry, dark waters gliding beneath the ship, the breeze carrying sprays of saltwater. 

But nope. Not even a peep about Superman. Instead…

“The Titans? What about the Titans?” you ask, puzzled, leaning against the railing. Ms. C on your left and Amir, the aide for the other class, on your right. The teacher for that class, Mr. Chu, promptly became seasick a few minutes into the ride and stepped inside to get away from it. 

Ms. C hums distantly next to you. “Who knows?”

Amir blinks. “You guys didn’t hear?”

She shrugs and turns to look out at the waves, apparently not wanting to know, either.

You do, however. “Hear what?”

They shake their head, pulling out their phone. “It’s been all over the news since yesterday. The Titans announced that one of their core members is stepping down. Well, they were cornered into it, really. Someone got a source and spread the rumor about it, so the Titans had to hold a conference about it.”

“Who was the rumor about?”

“Red Robin.”

Oh, he’s one of Gotham’s. Huh.

“Really? Why?”

They type a few things on their phone, then hand it to you. 

You cup your hand over the speaker to hear what looks to be a press conference, with a primly-dressed woman standing up at a podium. The banner reads: TITANS’ RED ROBIN STEPS DOWN. 

“Oh, here.” Amir leans over to turn on the captions, then turns sharply as someone yells. “Woah, hey, Brianna, don’t do that! No, I don’t care if you can swim, we went over this! You aren’t allowed to jump overboard…”

They step away to continue lecturing the pouting girl standing by the railing.

Your eyes find the captions at the bottom. 

“Red Robin is not retiring. He is simply taking a step back from the team and this is perfectly fine, as the team has many members to fill in for him. As for Gotham City itself, we cannot speak for it, though the Titans would like to emphasize that the city remains well taken care of regardless.”

Amir returns to your side, smoothing a hand down their clothes. 

“So, he’s stepping down,” you say, handing their phone back.

“It’s not surprising, since some of the older members have done the same, like Nightwing. They’re still involved on occasion, but they’re not out there, you know, hero-ing.”

“What about Gotham, then?”

They shrug. “People see Nightwing in New York sometimes. That’s probably what’s gonna happen. But later, I think. With this news, a lot of people are thinking things might get a little crazy around here.”

“Ah. Assuming they can try their luck?”

“Most likely.”

You feel for Red Robin in that moment. It’s not too much to ask for, to return to the other side of his life, only for those plans to be pushed off even longer as those here want to try and take advantage of his absence. 

You couldn’t do it, you think. Live that kind of life, constantly sacrificing yourself. Makes it all the more important to appreciate the ones that do. You’re partial to the League but the Titans are equally as important. Without them, earth would be conquered multiple times over. And that’s just not fun at all.

The rest of the trip goes well. The kids get excited about Superman again when the ferry finally docks in Metropolis. They even get a treat when they glimpse him in the sky, accompanied with the sound of him breaking the sound barrier as he rushes off somewhere. Despite that worrying you a bit — who knows if it’s something simple, like a cat stuck in a tree, or much more dire, like aliens invading — everything is fine. 

All of you are running around making sure no one gets left behind or lost, leaving you exhausted by the time you return to Gotham at five. Then you have to wait even longer to make sure each kid gets picked up. 

You get back to Rose Oaks at seven. Tim had texted you two hours ago letting you know he had fed the boys and told you to come by his place for dinner. 

Not one to say no to free food or being with him, you stop by your place to shower the day away and change into a pair of shorts and an old softball t-shirt, then head to his place. 

 “Starting to think I should just give you a spare,” he says when he pulls the door open, a spatula in his hand, lips quirking when he sees you. 

“Well, you do have mine,” you agree. “Unless you did weird stuff with your unsupervised access to my place.”

“I didn’t install cameras in your bedroom or steal your underwear. Scout’s promise.”

“You were a Boy Scout?”

“Not even a little bit,” he says easily and you laugh, stepping inside.

You slip off your slides and leave them by the door. He started to implement that rule a little while after he met you. Said it just makes more sense and makes cleaning easier. You think so, too, but the fact that he did it because of you makes you all warm and fuzzy inside. 

“How was Metropolis?”

“Meh. Metropolis.”

“What, not a fan?”

“The city itself is fine. But their baseball team?”

“The Metropolis Monarchs that continue to beat the Knights without fail every time they play each other?” 

“It’s just perfect,” you grumble. “They don't have a Joker and they always beat us. So not fair.”

Tim chuckles, returning to the kitchen. “So, when and where are they playing each other?”

“Two weeks. Here. Can’t wait to hear all the Monarch fans complaining about having to come here. Pretentious jerks.”

He laughs and resumes his work at the stove. 

The TV plays in the living room. You flop onto the couch with a grunt, glad to be off your feet. 

“You can change the channel,” he calls, looking to be flipping something on the stove. At his elbow on the counter is a plate of what looks to be freshly-made chocolate chip pancakes. Your stomach rumbles at the sweet smell wafting over to you. 

You turn your eyes to the flatscreen, where GNN plays. 

You read the news banner at the bottom. GOTHAM CITY LOSES RED ROBIN. Looks like they’re still talking about it. 

“That’s rough,” you comment, leaning back into the cushions.  

“What?”

You relay it to him. 

“I mean, that is sort of what’s happening, isn’t it?” he asks, shutting off the burner and moving the pan aside. 

“I dunno. I guess. I just think it must suck for him.”

“Isn’t it his responsibility?” Tim asks, his back still to you as he pulls two plates from the cabinet. “So, you know. It’s only fair for people to be wondering that. To be upset.”

“I don’t agree. I mean, I don’t know this guy’s life story but he’s sacrificed a lot to do what he has, right? I don’t think it’s too much to ask for us to let him go and return to his life. ‘Cause it’s kinda crazy what people like him do.”

“They have to do it, though. Especially here.”

“Well, that’s the government’s fault. It’s good he and the others step up, believe me, but it’s also not really a sustainable model for the rest of your life, is it?”

He shakes his head. “In a perfect world, we wouldn’t need them. But we do. And now this guy is just leaving.”

You purse your lips, not used to this stubbornness from him. No, that’s not the right way to say it — you know he is stubborn. It’s more like… Tim is compassionate. Empathetic. You’ve always been supportive of the superheroes of your world and he’s agreed with you. But he’s never been like this. Uncompromising in his disapproval. Almost like it’s personal. 

“Come on, Tim. Don’t be like that. I think it’s gonna be fine. Things will be crazy for a little while but when aren’t they? Let Red Robin off the hook. And give him a break. I’m sure he gets enough shit for sharing his name with a restaurant and now this.”

Tim lets out a surprised laugh and you smile, feeling the tension ease. Not just between you over the course of this discussion, but the tension within him, too. You can’t possibly understand what bothers him so much about Red Robin but you don’t think either of you can condemn him. No one can. 

But of course, that is not how the world works and you know this by the heated debate going on between the hosts on the news, some strongly disapproving of Red Robin stepping down, some supportive, and others downright severe about his existence as a vigilante in Gotham in the first place. 

You switch it to one of the many streaming platforms he has, navigating to The Spongebob Squarepants Movie. 

Your phone vibrates with the familiar chime of your email. You groan silently, predicting an email from the school, but when you look at it, it’s from the rec center, from the instructor, Hana, who runs the pottery classes you attend bi-monthly. 

You skim the message. It’s for the class next Friday. Something about… Oh. Bring a friend and you get an extra slot for the kiln and the friend gets one, too. Ohhh, very nice, actually. 

See, you pay for those classes and with that, you get to use their clay and paint, as well as one free slot for the kiln each class. It’s usually enough for you but you won’t say no to two slots. Not at all…

You eye Tim’s back. 

You’ll think about it. 

Inviting him, you mean. 

He knows you do it, having seen some of the figures and pottery you have, usually expressing his admiration for some of the more complicated pieces, like that one bowl you have with a carved squid. 

“You should be an art teacher,” he had said, looking over the bowl with an impressed gaze.  

“It’s just a hobby I picked up when I moved here. Had to get out and stuff and the classes were the best way to do it. I prefer my social studies. I mean, it would be great if I could, like, teach and paint and do otherwise art-related things but I don’t think admin would let me. Not unless I was a full teacher and that won’t be for a while.”

“But not impossible, right?”

“No,” you laugh. “I guess not.”

Ah, you’ll think about it. 

For now, you get up and help Tim assemble your dinner. Then you two settle down for the movie, which he hasn’t seen. You’ve gotten him through the first few seasons of Spongebob — everything until season six is solid; everything after is… okay — but he still hasn’t seen this, which you think is a crime. You have fond memories of this movie from when you were a kid. 

When you finish your food, you set your plate on the table and snuggle back into the cushions. Tim finishes his, then leans forward to do the same, moving them out the way so you both can put your feet up. He leans back, closer to you this time, your arm pressed to his. The contact goes straight to your head, your heart starting to pound. 

To distract yourself, you gesture to the TV and say, “We absolutely need to try and make a Triple Gooberberry Sunrise.”

“You’re insane,” he says, but pauses the movie to pick up his phone and pull up Instacart. “Alright. I have the vanilla ice cream and bananas. What else do we need?”

You huddle closer, leaning your chin against his arm. “We need the candy for the face. And the chocolate. And cherries. Ooh and the cup it’s in. If possible.”

“If possible,” he scoffs, typing quickly. “The only way we’re doing this is if we have all the right tools to create an exact replica.”

“An exact replica? Should probably get another carton of ice cream. Also, I don’t think the laws of nature allow for that. I mean, not totally.”

“Hey, if they can do it underwater, we can do it in real life.”

“I like your attitude, Tim Drake.”

He shoots you a grin that makes everything inside of you heat up and you look back at his phone to try and recover, nudging his shoulder with yours. 

“Do you use your actual name for orders?”

“Nope. And with that said, you mind grabbing it when it gets here?”

“No. But if the driver murders me when I do, I’m haunting you.”

“I want to say the danger involved with our Instacart driver is very low but unfortunately, we do live in Gotham, so the chance isn’t totally off the table.”

“Such is life. Well, you better tip good anyway.”

“Of course,” he says, slightly affronted, mostly because it is known that Tim tips exceedingly well. Stupidly almost. But you say almost because you live in a capitalist hellscape where most food industry workers rely on tips so, there’s no limit there, you think. Especially if you have as much money as he does. 

He places the order, you rewind to a frame with the ice cream on display, then you two try to get a plan of action in order. 

You fetch the groceries when they arrive and Tim takes out the ice cream. You did manage to find a frosted blue ice cream bowl that looks eerily similar to the one in the movie and together, you two shape the body of the Triple Gooberberry Sunrise with spoons. It’s a lot of ice cream and ice cream melts, so despite using spoons to shape it, your fingers are still sticky by the end of it but your lower back aches from all the laughing you two did while sculpting it, having been shooting insults at each other over your abilities to sculpt. 

You shove the ice cream in the freezer in the meantime, then work on the features. You use M&Ms for the eyes and nose, then deconstruct those chunky Twizzler ropes for the smile. Tim works on the banana, cutting one in half for the arms, then another in half for the head. He offers the other half to you, which you take a bite out of, and he then finishes. 

You snap a few toothpicks in half to pin the cherries to the tips of the bananas, then bring out the ice cream again to add the finishing touches. First, though, you need to add the chocolate shell at the top. Like a hat of sorts. 

“Don’t blow it,” he says, watching you pop the lid on the chocolate syrup. 

“I’m not gonna blow it.”

So, naturally, you do blow it. 

And that sounds dramatic, you know, but it’s not. It’s just, you hold the bottle above the top of the mound of ice cream, the face already made with the M&Ms and a single Twizzler rope, and the syrup comes out more syrupy than you expect. So, you squeeze it out and it immediately drips down the face. Like right down the middle, and you both look at it for a second, then each other, and then you’re laughing so hard, you have to hold onto the counter. 

Tim manages to get it together before you, finishing adding the hard shell, though it drips a little more down the sides, then adds the bananas. 

And it looks…

“So stupid,” he laughs, holding onto the counter. “So, so, so stupid.”

You’re still laughing. You can’t stop laughing. But you can’t help but think he looks beautiful like this, cheeks flushed, blue eyes bright, a smile permanently etched onto his lips as his laughter fills the kitchen. 

You can’t help but feel something so big, so full of warmth, ballooning in your chest until you think you might explode with it. That he gave into your wish to make the stupid ice cream in the first place. That he is always willing to indulge you. And the thought chokes you, too much to handle here, so you set those thoughts and feelings aside and look at the stupid ice cream again to get back to where you were, more mirth taking over you. 

You list into him and he catches you, laughing, too. 

You think that despite it looking stupid, the fact that it was made with so much joy makes it taste that much better. 

(Though neither of you can finish it and you two end up in an ice cream coma on the couch, resuming the movie, and it is with great reluctance a few hours later that you peel yourself from his side and go back to your place. 

This time, however, with his spare key and with the surety that he has carved out his own spot in your heart and that no one but him can fill it. 

That that doesn’t matter, anyway, because you want only him.

But with that thought comes the acknowledgment that he most likely doesn’t feel the same and that’s okay. 

You want him in any capacity that you can have him. 

And this is enough. 

It has to be enough.)

Tim is busy the next day, hanging out with friends, which is fine. You don’t mind the alone time. 

You laze around for most of the day. Do some grading you still have but they’re easier assignments you finish quickly, marking them up with your blue glitter pen and making the usual smiley faces and little notes. You take a moment to appreciate the easiness of it. With it being late April, the end of the semester will come up quickly and you’ll have deadlines for final grades. 

But you won’t worry about it yet. 

School lets out in June, then you’re home free for the summer. That’s the nice part of working for the school. Your breaks coincide with theirs, so you get a nice summer. Nice breaks in general.  

At ten-thirty, you prepare your dirty clothes to take them downstairs. You slide your basket to the living room, then step into the kitchen to grab detergent. But when you open the bottom cabinet with your supplies and reach for the tub of detergent, you find it decidedly empty. 

You groan. You completely forget. You had run out of your pods and needed more. You were supposed to do that… yesterday? Probably. But after making sure the kids were picked up then being dogged by hunger and achy feet, it slipped your mind. 

Ah, no matter. Tim should have some. You hope. Speaking of, you should ask to borrow his Costco card again. It’s hard to go back to buying single packs of detergent at the store. Some things just need to be stockpiled. 

(Mostly so situations like these don’t happen.)

You heft your laundry basket to your hip, pull on your sandals, then grab your keys and step out. 

You take the elevator one floor up, finding Tim’s apartment easily. He didn’t respond to your texts about the detergent and you don’t know if his friends are still there, so, despite the new key on your key ring, you knock. 

You only get one in before the door swings open quickly and you jump. At the abruptness of the motion, then at seeing someone you definitely do not know standing there. 

With unruly ginger hair, a freckled face, and an undeniable air of mischief, he grins at you in a way that has you on guard immediately. 

“Hi. Are you Tim’s new teacher friend?”

“Um —”

“Bart! You can’t — oh —” Tim says your name, a little panicked, and he shoves past the guy — Bart? — giving him a look and shooing him away. 

He backs off, only for two others to peek around him. A pretty girl with short, cropped blonde hair and twinkling blue eyes, then an equally pretty guy with short black hair and blue eyes. They look very curious at your appearance and you feel terribly underdressed in a pair of old workout shorts and a ratty shirt from high school. 

“Guys,” Tim hisses. 

They wave at you and, with a fair amount of uncertainty, you wave back. 

Seemingly satisfied with that, the three of them disappear into the living room, hurried, hushed voices reaching your ears. 

“Sorry,” you breathe as soon as they’re out of earshot. “I’m so sorry, Tim —”

He waves his hands, stopping you. “Hey, hey, what are you apologizing for?”

You wince. “Interrupting your time with your friends? It’s just, I ran out of detergent, so I was wondering if I could borrow a pod or two.”

“Of course,” he says immediately. “Give me a sec, alright?” 

You nod and he disappears from the entryway. You hear the sound of a kitchen cabinet closing, then he’s returning, passing you two pods. 

“Let me come with you,” he says, slipping socked feet into a pair of slides. 

“You don’t have to —”

“It’s okay. I haven’t seen you today.” Of course, he says that with the implication that because he hasn’t seen you, he must take this opportunity now, because he —

Missed you?

Well, shit.  

Your face flares with heat at the thought. Your fingers grow sweaty from holding the basket. You try to compose yourself as Tim shuts the door behind him and locks it. 

“Anyway,” he goes on, turning to you, the two of you starting for the elevator. “Bart didn’t say anything weird, right?”

In safer waters, you can relax.

For the most part. 

“He just said something about me being your teacher friend. So, no.”

Tim visibly relaxes, pressing the button to go down as you stop in front of the elevator. 

“Good. He can be… a handful sometimes. The other two you saw were Cassie and Conner.”

“Well, tell them it was nice to meet them. Sort of.”

He exhales a laugh, running a hand through his hair. He’s in a forest green t-shirt and jeans. Simple clothes, by any means, yet devastatingly handsome as usual. Man.

Ding. The doors slide open. A man steps out and you two step in. He presses the button for the ground floor.

“You do yours today?” you ask, wiggling your basket in indication of your question.

“No, I’ve been with the others pretty much all day. I’ll have to do it tomorrow. Or later tonight when they leave. If they ever leave.” He says the last part mock-exasperated, rolling his eyes, but you can spy the fondness tugging at his mouth. 

“Be more grateful,” you tease.

“Say that when you’ve handled them all day,” he shoots back. 

You chuckle, turning to watch the numbers tick by. 

“So,” he starts a minute later, regaining your attention. “I’ve been thinking about what you said. About stepping back from WE. I think… you’re right.”

“Yeah? Gonna try, um, wedding photography?”

“I’m not that desperate yet,” he chuckles. “To be honest, I’m not totally sure what I will do. Get back into photography, yeah, maybe some tennis, but only if someone agrees to play with me…”

“I’ll play tennis with you if you play catch with me one of these days.”

“Done,” he says easily. “Anyway, I’m still trying to figure it out and I told Lucius I wasn’t completely out of it. If R&D needs help, I’m happy to, but… no more office visits.”

“Probably for the best. Was your family okay with it?” And by family, you specifically mean Bruce.

“They were okay with it. I think they might’ve expected it,” he admits, a tad sheepish. “In any case, I just wanted to let you know that you were right.”

You shake your head. “All that matters is that you’re happy, Tim. Anything else is —” you wave a hand “— whatever.”

“Well, still,” he says, and his voice is soft, and so is the look in his eyes. “Thanks.”

You smile and look away, cursing the way your heart stutters at the expression on his face being directed at you. 

It’s quiet the rest of the ride down. You start humming Ocean Man when it get too quiet. 

His eyes crinkle with a smile when he recognizes it. “I haven’t been able to get it out of my head.” 

“It’s a good song,” you say. “Like the kind of song you play driving down the coast. But, like, the coast coast. Not whatever Gotham’s got going on.”

“Yeah, I don’t think the backdrop of our polluted waters will go with it too much.”

You snicker. 

He holds the laundry door open for you and you nod your gratitude in response, heading for the washers. 

“If you wanna head up, you can,” you tell him, opening a few and inspecting the inside to see which is good enough for you.

He shrugs, hands tucked in his pockets, leaning on the washer next to the one you decide is good. “Like I said. Haven’t seen you today.”

Well. You’ll hardly complain.

“And I was thinking,” he starts, a forced kind of nonchalance in his voice that gets your attention, even as you dump your clothes into the washer.

“That’s never good.”

He rolls his eyes, wry grin tugging at his lips. “Well. I know you expressed some grievances over the Monarchs coming to play the Knights…”

“Yeah?” you ask, eyebrow raising. You toss in the pods, then pull out your phone. They finally fixed the app, so you no longer have to go the old-fashioned way. You still prefer it, but one does get tired of their hands smelling like coins. 

“And,” he goes on, blue eyes twinkling with something that makes warmth spool in your chest like cotton candy. “I thought, since when we went the Knights won their first ever Opening Day match… maybe we should go to this game, too.”

“You didn’t.”

“I did,” he says, pleased, pulling out his phone and brandishing an email, confirming a purchase of two tickets to the game in two weeks, on Saturday. 

“Tim!”

“Hey, I’m just doing my due diligence in making sure the Knights have a fair shot at beating the Monarchs.”

“What does that mean?” you ask, flabbergasted.

He shrugs, smiling still. “Well, since it was your first ever game for them and they won… doesn’t seem too far-fetched to say you’re their good luck charm.”

“That is not how that works,” you say, and yet, you’re unbearably happy, mostly at the thought of him doing this for you. “You didn’t have to do that. I could’ve paid for my ticket —”

“No, no, this is my — what do you call it? My civic responsibility to society as the son of a billionaire.”

“That was — a joke…” For the most part. Funny how it’s easier to say that when you don’t know him or his family, but when you do, it’s almost uncomfortable.

But of course, it is not exactly incorrect, either. 

Tim has a lot of money. Bruce Wayne has a lot of money. You do not. 

Your face burns with heat. “Thanks, Timmy. That’s… really nice of you.”

Too nice, maybe. Much too nice. 

“I don’t mind,” he says and it sounds like he means it, too, that soft look in his gaze again. Your stomach swoops like you missed a step going down. 

“Besides,” he adds, the two of you heading for the door again. “I was thinking we could get something to eat beforehand. Something light since I know you said no baseball game is complete without a hot dog… but in that case, you can pay for that.”

“I will pay for that,” you mutter. 

He laughs. “See? Fair’s fair.”

Easy for him to say.

But you’d be lying through your teeth if you said any of this displeased you. 

It’s Tim, after all.

With him, you’re weak, like putty in his hands. He doesn’t know that, you think. Doesn’t know how much he means to you, how much you would do for him. 

But he can’t know. Because knowing that means knowing the depth of your affection, too, and that is a secret you’ll keep locked away until the end of your days.

(Thinking that is dangerous, you know. Because it’s Gotham and nothing is impossible in Gotham and you hardly want to tempt fate.

Doesn’t make it any less true, though.)

━ end notes

1. i know they really try to pass batman and the others off as urban legends these days but. it doesn't make much sense when you consider the notoriety of say, the justice league or as seen here, the titans. you can't just have a team of superheroes and not have the public not knowing shit about that. however, i will say i do think they can still balance fear and myth while being well-known. bruce definitely can anyway

2. on that note, it always made more sense to me that the justice league, the titans, and basically all the superhero teams have to have some kind of pr team/department. they're super-powered or otherwise very talented but i think both the distance of a pr team is needed, as well as the fact that, well, that's strictly their job, to get the teams out of any messes they create. additionally, there has to be some kind of bureaucratic element to all of it, at least regarding who joins on missions and what not. basically, i don't think they would let teams of superheroes run around without supervision. not to say they're, like, extensions of the government because That Would Be Bad but... you know? gotta have accountability

3. the early seasons of spongebob are great and so is the movie. peak childhood moments for me and still now tbh. it's just very nostalgic. also as we all know food just looks so much better in cartoons and the triple gooberberry sundae is one of those things too. also kind of insane that they made him, like, drunk off it. old 2000s childhood tv shows are just insane in general

4. ocean man is a deeply excellent song and i was first introduced to it through the spongebob movie and i still regard it dearly. even if its silly its fun and catchy ok

reblogs are appreciated!