#this is honestly just a big thing of word vomit so don't expect any *good* analytical essays n shit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sugar-omi · 4 months

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honestly all that was sooo what i needed to hear rn bc a girls been STRESSED so thank you <3 😭

i'm gonna major in biotechnology! i went to a votech and that was my trade there and i loved it so i wanna continue studying it. not totally sure what job i want yet so i don't know how much schooling i'll do but yeah! :D

BIOTECH??? THAT SOUNDS SO COOL N SO COMPLICATED please i literally had to google that shit bc idk what it entails but this is some big brain shit, n all i gotta say is good luck n i am cheering you ON!!🎉🫶🫶

although i think you got this in the bag already. anyone with the balls to do something so advanced. is a very smart n strong person. from what im reading on google this is some really cool shit, no matter what direction you go with it. n you have your work cut out for you, but i know you got this!!

so don't doubt yourself!! you got this!!! your brain is huge n you are powerful!!!!

n of course!!! i figured saying something like that would help with anyones anxiety, because really, its the pressure (even if they're not actually pressuring you) and the overwhelm of questions and expectations that make the future so stressfullll

*ramble utc because i... cannot help yapping i guess LOL and while i'd usually be embarrassed and delete my ramble n word vomit, but i figure someone else readding this may appreciate the relatability of what i have to say about my fams reaction to my plan after hs, and find some comfort in my word, if thats not to presumptuous

because i decided to take a gap year (it's been a year since i graduated, for reference), and everyone freaked out. my mom n uncles first reaction was "yeah well, you won't go if you do..." before they came around n agreed with my reasoning. and my dad was all "if i had it my way, you'd go full time--" (mind u, he likes to brag that he worked n went to school full time AND partied.... he did not finish college LMAO) and when i graduated, said to me a MONTH. AFTER MY GRADUATION. "if you're not going to college any time soon, go into the air force."

and when my extended family would ask my plans, and i only had a short "i'm just gonna take a break right now, figure some things out, work... and by then i'll have come to a decision." because i was tossing around the thought of art school, and then i thought abt getting an english degree to be either a teacher or go into writing/editing, journaling or whatever... but was also tossing around the thought of psychology and even real estate. my ideas for my future were absolutely jumbled, and i was torn between what would make money, what i loved, and what i was interested in that i thought could be a career.

it's tough. especially depending on your financial situation yknow, so your thought process always leads towards something profitable but also wanting to do something you enjoy, maybe even love, but not wanting to burn out and tarnish your beloved hobby/hobbies.

like while i did have people who supported me upfront, and never doubted my plan, it's the small things too yknow. because for months my dad's words haunted me, i felt like i wasn't doing enough. or when i met family, and they asked how it was going, or what i was doing now, i felt disappointed that my answer was always "i haven't been doing anything. just been sleeping, drawing, writing..." or eventually that and "practiced driving.. n that's about it."

or when i'd talk to close family members, and i admitted i was going through a hard time, my mental state finally falling on me now that i didn't have to be strong n power through school. i even got sick a couple times, because my body was finally feeling the stress. even now, i feel a mental lag, a fog. but i feel clearer, a bit.

but yknow, the looks and the "you said that last time" or "i think you're lying" is tough.

but at the end of the day, if not working for the summer, or not going to college for a semester, or 2, or 3, or a whole year. or if going part time, or whatever you're doing... and it benefits you, and it benefits your mental health. then do it, don't listen too much, don't feel too guilty.

because if you need it, just like i needed the time to rejuvenate, then don't listen to anyone else. don't force yourself to do anything. because if you have the ability to take a break now, do it. you're not doing this because you're lazy, or selfish, or unambitious. or anything like that. you're taking that break, you're taking this break right now, for future you.

because if you don't take it now, when will you take it? and when you do take a break... will it be at the cost of your health? will it be at the cost of something greater? when the break comes, will it come when you're being handed the gold medal you've been fighting for.. and then it slips out of your hand just like that.

anyway.. do whats best for you. what you need. don't worry about figuring things out too fast either, because in fact, i've been plotting this moment of my life for about 10 years, genuinely, and i still had to revise it. still had to come to a conclusion because even with all that plotting, it doesn't plan for the hard times. or the 'you' you are right now. you will be someone else next week. and you will be someone entirely different 2 months from now.

take your time. because if you jump into something, and are unsatisfied, or "waste" time doing something other than what you "should be doing", the time still passes.

if you "waste time" anyway, waste it on yourself. not others expectations. or wishes. or their dreams.

and once enough time passes as well, no matter what you do by then. the questions do stop coming. the weight of the future, once you get there, is suddenly not so... big. intimidating.

you do not need a grandiose plan. if you are content with the future in your mind, that is enough. because at the end of your life, who will sit in that chair and ponder the life you lived, and weight it's satisfaction, if not you?

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demiesworld · 1 year

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this is word vomit, me rambling, and basically just saying shit!! at the end i am thanking my followers for helping me reach 1k!!

i started this side-blog back in late april to early may just thinking that this was just going to be a fluke. originally i had only planned to just post more random shit on here, reblog some anime stuff, and just do whatever i wanted. there were times where i was like "im going to delete this blog", "im losing my interest", "this ain't getting me nowhere", just pessimistic thoughts.

that all changed when i started writing for anime. my very first post was a stupid "toman as stupid shit i did in my life" post which garnered some good attention. ppl liked it. then a little bit later i decided to write "tokyo revengers reaction to how you fight" and ppl LOVED IT lol i was so happy reading through the feedback about how the reader was depicted as being badass and strong.

later i got myself more involved into the anime fandom. i started watching demon slayer after a previous co-worker of mine mentioned to me that i should watch it bc it was a good anime. and it is!! demon slayer is one of the most popular animes out there imo. so when i began watching demon slayer i wanted to write content for the demon slayer fandom as well. now originally i wanted to write my first demon slayer fanfic with tengen x reader, but i was already hooked onto season 4 with the hantengu clones and had more motivation to write about them. the hantengu clones x demon!reader thing i wrote, i literally did not expect for it to get any attention. bc i haven't wrote smut like that in FOREVER. literally i thought it would go to shit but i was fucking excited to see it gain over 2.5k notes!!!

now before i got into demon slayer i was watching jjk. but i just never thought of writing for them since i had only ever watched the jjk 0 movie, and season 1. i didn't familiarize myself with the characters and just went with how the fandom portrayed them as. though as soon as season 2 came out with the gojo's past arc i wanted to write some content for them as well.

then... i got lured into the miguel o'hara stan. now i was already a marvel nerd BEFORE i rejoined the anime fandom. i was only watching the marvel films and the tv shows like daredevil, punisher, and loki. when i saw miguel o'hara on the big screen I FELL IN LOVE. not only that but he is voiced by OSCAR FUCKING ISAAC. god i want for this man to yell at me- ANYWAYS LOL UM we're getting off track here!! i went to reading some miguel o'hara fics, watching tiktok edits of this man, looking at fanarts of him, and then i sort of got the inspiration to write some content about him. and i do notice that there is not a LOT of miguel o'hara with a black reader or at the very least with a latin/hispanic reader. so i want to spice things up and contribute to writing things for him.

now mind you all i write my fics with a black reader in my mind!! but i never describe their skin color, their eye color, their weight, i don't describe what they look like bc i want for the reader to feel included!!! i want for the reader to feel as if they are in the story. unless it is stated in my notes that the reader is black, chubby, skinny, etc. then i write as that. but if you read most of my fics there's not really an indication of the reader's race.

so with this blog and through my writing i want to show all writers that you don't have to describe what the reader looks like. that there are ways to avoid describing the reader and to have the reader feel included. inclusivity is my goal here on this site. as someone who is multifandom, i want to bring something to the table and maybe make a change.

to end this all off bc damn this is getting TOO DAMN LONGGG i want to say to all of my followers thank you so much for following me. times have been hard for me, but you know seeing that i have ppl who love my content and my writing makes me happy. honestly it is getting me motivated to get back to writing more again. i hope to give you guys more content, and better up my writing skills in the future. please stick around for more! again thank you babes! i love you all so much!!

♡ with love, demie !

#demon slayer #marvel #mcu #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #tokyo revengers #tokyo rev #anime #fandoms #demiesworld #demies rambles #hantengu clones

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zodiyack · 3 years

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Rude! (3,000+ Follower Fic Special 1/3)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Female!Hopper!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, Billy stuff, lyrics, fluff

Song: Rude by Magic!

Words: 1,798

Summary: Billy's love for Hopper's daughter is too strong to be stopped by the tough Chief Jim Hopper. Despite being told "not in a thousand years", he plans to love her regardless.

Note: Thank you so so much! I love you all, and writing your ideas, as well as sharing mine with you, has been so fucking fun and amazing! I'm sorry for my lack of words, I wish being an author came in handy with writing this, however, all I can say is that I love you all from the bottom of my heart. I've seen people do shout-outs, and ask-related stuff with their follower things, and I may do that, I'm not sure. For now, I hope you enjoy this... Thank you all, again!

Also 1/3 means that there will be two other fics released for the 3,000+ follower present!

Taglist: @urie-bowie-mercury, @matth1w, @redspaceace-writes, @fandom-puff, @darling-i-read-it, @simonsbluee, @sebastianstanslefteyebrow, @dpaccione

Masterlist | Stranger Things Masterlist

"Saturday morning, jumped out of bed and put on my best suit. Got in my car and raced like a jet all the way to you. Knocked on your door with my heart in my hands, to ask you a question, 'cause I know that you're an old-fashioned man. Yeah."

Billy was freshly graduated, working as a lifeguard whilst his girlfriend worked her own job, both saving up for their chance to ditch Hawkins and move to California. Sweet Cali. Billy was excited to show the love of his life around the place he called home. Though, physically, he left the salty ocean and windy beach behind, the place never truly left him.

You could see it in his eyes. The waves crashing in his blue orbs. He swore the scent had just barely clung to his belongings; the smell of the tangy air that followed a majority of the state. Working at a pool was the closest he got to the memory of California. Chlorine was most certainly not the salted ocean waters, but with the circumstances, he decided it'd do.

The way his face lit up whenever he talked about his home...it made Y/n more and more excited to see it. His girlfriend had grown up in Hawkins, stayed there her whole life. Never once did the Hoppers leave Hawkins.

But the second that was introduced to Billy, he knew it had to change.

Although they were saving for a big move, Billy had...other things in mind with what to do with his first large pay-check (or series, rather. Working as a lifeguard didn't pay well with just one check). He began to work more shifts to make up for the money he'd spent, and one day after calling in for a day off, he decided to put his plan into action.

"Billy, stop messing with the tie."

"It's annoying." Hands slapped away his attempts of adjusting the black silk tie.

"Well it won't stop being annoying if you keep fucking it up."

For the first time in a long time, Neil Hargrove was calm. Not happy, not amused, not pissed off for some unjust reason- just calm. He wasn't wreaking havoc and he wasn't being an asshole to his son. Billy hadn't seen this side of his dad in quite some time, in fact, he thought something important was going on and he was about to fuck it all up. And then, Susan retreated to the living room with a camera and a freshly ironed suit.

"You're not putting me in that."

"And who asked for your opinion?" Neil deflected with a raised brow. One heavy sigh later and Billy was leaving the bathroom, dawning the whole black and white getup.

Susan clasped her hands over her mouth, a tear leaving her eye, "You look so handsome! Just like your dad!"

Billy rolled his eyes, "Great."

However, his careless attitude was swept under the rug when the blue Camaro pulled up to the police station, interrupting a clearly distressed Chief Hopper bickering with his daughter. Billy had to get himself together before stepping out of the car, jaw slack after seeing the beauty he got to call his date.

"Hello Mr-"

"Don't even try play nice with me, Hargrove. She's not going anywhere with you. End of story." Hopper kept his eyes trained on the blond, body tense like a snake preparing to strike it's prey.

Y/n grabbed Billy's arm, slowly directing him to the car, "And in the sequel, we find out I am going with Billy. End of that story."

"There is no 'sequel.' The writer got drunk and lazy." She paused, turning to face her father who stood tall, arms crossed and face unamused.

"So his daughter picked up where her father left off, and then the sequel was published and the two lived happily ever after, the end."

While her dad attempted to search for a line that would better hers and force her to stay, she pushed Billy toward the driver's side and slid into the car as fast as she could, rolling down the window as Billy started it up. "Bye! I'll be back before midnight!"

The two drove off toward the school, leaving behind a trail of dust and very, very, pissed off Hopper.

Prom was better than Billy thought it would be. He didn't want to go at first, but after Max found out and spoke to her mom about it (the little redhead a cupid-in-the-making), Neil pushed him to go (as he was "doing something else besides being a lazy-no-good rebel"). It was then that he called Y/n and asked if she'd be going.

The suit came in handy. Clashing with his rocker aesthetic, he put it back on once more. The once-annoying tie proved to be somewhat okay in the end.

Can I have your daughter for the rest of my life? Say yes, say yes, 'cause I need to know. You say I'll never get your blessing "till the day I die, tough luck my friend, but the answer is no!"

Why you gotta be so rude? Don't you know I'm human too? Why you gotta be so rude? I'm gonna marry her anyway. Marry that girl, marry her anyway! Marry that girl, yeah, no matter what you say! Marry that girl, and we'll be a family! Why you gotta be so rude?

With a deep breath, he ran-over the conversation in his head once more. Like a script for an actor, he had thought of every possible outcome and every possible line for him to face it with. He almost chickened out as his fist rose to the door, but it was too late, for his knuckles rapped against it before he realized he was even knocking.

El opened the door, eyes wide when she saw the familiar mullet and button-down. "Papa..." She muttered as she backed away and out of view.

Hopper traded places with her, his lazy expression sobering up instantaneously, replaced with a grumpy scowl. "Hargrove."

"Mr. Hopper, sir."

"What are you doing on my front porch?"

He swallowed roughly, palms sweaty against his sides. "I was wondering if I could talk to you."

"You seem to be doing just that right now, Hargrove." Hop crossed his arms and clenched his jaw.

Well, this was certainly not something Billy had thought of. He was on panic mode internally, attempting to find any response that could save his hide and accomplish what he set out to do. Unfortunately, the word-vomit button seemed to be misplaced under the button labeled "help".

"I'd like to marry your daughter, sir."

Hop's eyes grew just as big in size as El's had when she opened the door. He choked on his own surprise, coughing it off, then glaring at the boy in front of him. "Over my dead body, Hargrove. If that's all, I'd strongly advise you to get off of my fucking porch while you're still alive."

I hate to do this, you leave no choice; can't live without her. Love me or hate me, we will be boys- standing at that alter. And we will fly away, to another galaxy, you know. You know she's in love with me, she will go anywhere I go-

"Billy, he's just stubborn."

"No, no, I don't think he likes me."

Y/n sighed, rubbing her boyfriend's back. He hadn't told her of his proposal plans, only that Hop seemed to have it out for him. "It'll take time, but he'll warm up to you!"

"It's been how many years since he's met me?"

"To be fair, your reputation wasn't doing you any good until now..."

"It's not like that was fucking obvious." He slouched further down in the front seat of his Camaro. To Billy, all hope was lost. If he couldn't get Hopper to give him his blessing, he was sure he'd lose his goddamned mind.

Y/n frowned. Her frown flipped around as an idea popped into her head, her lips finding Billy's knuckles and quirking his attention. "Even if he never likes you, I'm not going anywhere."

Billy laughed softly, "he'll fucking kill me if you go against him."

"Eh, that's only if he can catch us."

"You're out of your fucking mind, Y/n Hopper."

"I know."

The rest of the night was spent in the Camaro, of course, doing one of Billy's favorite pastimes. By the time the sun rose, Billy was sneaking a kiss to a giggling Y/n before dropping from her window in the cabin and running to his car, parked far enough that Hop or El wouldn't notice. He blew her one more kiss, which she pretended to catch, then he broke into a sprint.

Maybe, he thought, just maybe; there was still a chance.

His knuckles hit the door again, shifting on his feet nervously. It swung open to reveal Hopper, an unimpressed look bringing no surprise Billy's way. It was quite expected, honestly.

"What." His tone made it clear he wasn't up for fucking around.

"Mr. Hopper, if you just give me one chance to prove to you that-"

"No, no, no, no, no. Let me make it very clear to you that I want you to have nothing to do with my daughter whatsoever. No marriage, no friendship, I don't even approve of you guys fucking or whatever-"

"We're in a serious relationship, sir. It's nothing like you think it is."

This made Hop laugh. He continued to do so, holding his stomach, until he realized Billy was unamused. "Oh, you're serious?... My answer is still no, Hargrove. My answer will always be no. Go find someone else's daughter's heart to break. You're not hurting mine."

"It's not like-"

Before he could even get the words out, he was met with a door in his face. Turned down, again.

Can I have your daughter for the rest of my life? Say yes, say yes, 'cause I need to know. You say I'll never get your blessing "till the day I die, tough luck my friend, 'cause the answer's still no!"

Again, again, and again, Billy incessantly pleaded with Hopper. Different tactics were all met with the same answer; rejection.

He held up a sign outside the cabin, only for Hopper to close the curtain and chuckle as he sipped his coffee.

He asked at the door again, only for Hop to threaten to give him a black eye (which was met with "aren't you the sheriff? Isn't that illegal?").

He raced past the police station, Max leaning out the window with another sign, only for Hop to threaten them with holding cells.

He even went as far as to ask Max and El to help, but Hopper had none of that, and sent Max home with a rant full of nos.

However, if Jim Hopper thought any of it would get it into Billy's head that getting his blessing was just not happening- he was as wrong as Nancy when she claimed not to have feelings for Jonathan.

Billy had another plan in mind, and this one was impossible to say no to.

Can I have your daughter for the rest of my life? Say yes, say yes, 'cause I need to know. You say I'll never get your blessing "till the day I die, tough luck my friend- but no still means no!"

"Hopper." Billy stood before his desk, interrupting his nice date with a delicious doughnut, and earning a very annoyed glare. "I got Miss Byer's blessing. Aren't you two a thing?"

"You son of a-"

"I got Eleven's too."

"Hargrove, I'm gonna-"

"Before you cuss me out, I think you should know that I've got a stable job, an interview with a mechanic so I have a job when the pool closes for the winter, and I've got a house on the market I'm looking at. I'm devoted to your daughter and she's devoted to me. You may not like me, but I think you're a great dad, better than the one I was unfortunately stuck with. You raised a strong and amazing woman. She's incredible and I admit, she deserves better than me-"

"You don't have to say that twice." Hopper huffed, crossing his arms.

"I know she deserves so much better than me, I'm surprised she's even with me too. But she loves me, and I think you can see that. I love her too. I would never, in a million years, break her heart."

Jim stayed silent for a few minutes. The silence brought uneasiness to Billy, but that was intentional on Hopper's behalf. He finally piped up with a cough, clearing his throat, before his piercing eyes met Billy's blue orbs.

"I'll hold you to that, Hargrove."

Bonus:

(after the wedding)

"What was that about a no?" Billy quipped with his infamous smirk.

"You're lucky I'm sheriff, Hargrove."

Why you gotta be so rude?

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juminsmysticmc · 4 years

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Aaaa, I also forgot yestrerday so I'm glad that it's today! Can we have rfa (or rfa + vandy if u like) with mc who don't want to get married but still wants to spend life with them, have family ane all. Thank you for that blog!

RFA with a Mc who doesn’t want to get married

Hey! I am glad that I wasn’t the only one who forgot, lol. I decided that I will only do the RFA or the Minor Trio for each request, I hope it’s okay, please be free to request the Minor Trio again, yeah? Please tell me your opinion after you read this, okay? Love youuu!

Jumin

Your heart was beating crazily as you saw the back haired man get on his knees in front of you.

Your eyes looked around at all those people who saw you and waited for your response.

You knew Jumin for 11 days and knew that you wanted to spend your life with him. You loved him. Everything about him made your heart beat quicker and made you feel emotions no one else could make you feel.

However, you never wanted to get married.

You already witnessed how marriage changed people.

Friends, your own parents, neighbors.

Everyone.

You wanted this love to last forever.

,,Yes,’’ you lied, making him happy and kissing your soft lips.

He held your hands in his and smiled so happily.

But eventually, you had to tell him that you actually didn’t want to marry.

Not because of him, but just because you didn’t want to.

When the RFA Party ended and only the member themselves stayed, you pulled your fiancé towards a quiet corner.

,,Yes, my wife to be?’’ he asked you all lovely.

You pressed your lips together.

,,I want to spend my life together with you,’’ you said.

,,Me too,’’ he responded.

,,I want you to become the father of my children,’’ you went on.

,,I would love that too,’’ Jumin laughed, blushing a bit.

,,But I don’t want to get married,’’ you ended your speech.

,,I feel the- what? But… earlier you said…’’ Jumin gasped.

His eyes were open wide as he observed you.

Your hands were sweaty. You were nervous.

For sure, this wasn’t an easy step.

,,Marriage changes love. I want this love to last forever. I promise you I will stay forever by your side, but not as your wife but as simply your partner. I don’t need anything else, but you,’’ you told him, kissing him on his lips and taking away his fears about the non marriage…

Zen

It was Valentine's Day when Zen returned home with a lot of red roses and chocolate.

,,Happy Valentine’s Day, Princess,’’ he told you and kissed you, putting the bag with groceries on the floor and hugging you.

He still felt bad that he didn’t ask you to be his wife.

,,I promise you, as soon as my family finally approves me, I will take you as my wife and make you the happiest woman in the world,’’ he promised you, implanting a kiss on your head.

,,Well,’’ you began.

,,I never want to live a second without you, but honestly speaking, Hyun, I don’t want to get married,’’ you confessed, biting your lip as you waited for his answer.

,,Huh?’’ he asked, kind of confused.

Wasn’t it every woman’s dream to walk down the aisle in a white dress?

,,I don’t want to get married. Like, we could use the money better for our future children. Not being married is so much better, less work, and doesn’t cost that much,’’ you told him, taking his hands.

,,Jagjya, money isn’t an issue for me, you know?’’ he asked you, worried that you may think that he didn’t have enough money to marry you.

,,I know, but I just don’t want it… I don’t need a wedding as long as I have you, I don’t need marriage to make a family with the man I like,’’ you told him.

,,A family as a non married man… guess my family will never approve of me…’’ he mumbled.

You suddenly felt bad. Was it that important to him…?

Instead, he surprised you with a totally different topic.

,,Since they don’t approve of my job, myself, or my lifestyle and wouldn’t even accept that I am not married, let’s do a baby right away!’’ he laughed and took your body in his embrace, slowly taking off his jacket....

Yoosung

After a while of being together as a couple with Yoosung, it finally happened - despite not being married, which wasn’t a problem for you, you got pregnant.

For Yoosung’s mother, something horrible.

,,Tell Mc that I will pick her up next monday to choose a dress with her,’’ his mother told him at nine a clock, after you spent the last three hours vomiting.

,,Sorry, babe,’’ Yoosung said, looking apologetic into your eyes.

You got up, pissed, and out on your shoes.

,,You know, Yoosung,’’ you began, looking into his sleepy eyes.

,,That’s the reason why I actually am against marriage. I love you and I want to spend my life with you. I want to have more children with you, but I don’t want to get married.

It’s stressful. It’s something I didn’t want to have, but now for your mother I have to try on a white dress, even through this is against my wishes, and I honestly don’t want to live life like that!’’ you told him and went into the kitchen, leaving Yoosung in his bed alone.

,,Mc, wait!’’ he called you, jumping up too and running behind you.

,,What do you mean with ‘something I didn’t want to do’? You don’t want to get married?’’ he asked you again.

You explained to Yoosung that you loved him dearly, but that you simply didn’t want to get married.

Yoosung nodded.

,,Besides,’’ you began, ,,you need to spend your life with me, not with her. And if you can’t do that even through we aren’t even married, imagine how a married life will go!’’

You ended your sentence and began to cook the food.

With that, Yoosung disappeared.

You heard him yelling for about ten minutes before he came out, ready to eat breakfast.

,,What happened?’’ you asked him, concerned.

,,I told my mother to find my sister a husband and instead leave my girlfriend alone because she will live with me forever even though she won’t be my wife,’’ Yoosung told you, making you smile brightly.

Jaehee

Finally, marrying for the both of you wasn’t a problem anymore.

However, deep inside you didn’t want to get married.

Sometimes you were just scared of changes and wanted to keep things the way they were - for example the relationship between you and your girlfriend Jaehee.

However, you were afraid of her reaction.

Both of you decided to sit down with a coffee around the table while the doors of your coffee shop were closed.

,,Thank God we closed for lunch time,’’ Jaehee laughed as she brought you your hot meal.

,,Yeah,’’ you responded, thinking how busy you were for the last four hours.

,,Okay, Mc...there is something off, please tell me what’s wrong?’’ Jaehee asked you.

,,I’m sorry, Jaehee… I was just worried… like, I am afraid of what will become of us if I tell you what is going through my head,’’ you honestly began.

,,Just tell me, nothing will change. I promise you,’’ she assured you and took your hand.

,,I...I love you and I want to stay with you and have a family, I want to work with you, be your best friend and so on… but I don’t want to get married.

I don’t know why, but I am just against it.

The whole attention, the money… I just don’t want to. Is that okay?’’ you asked her, playing with your hands and licking your lips nervously.

Jaehee stayed silent for a few seconds, but then smiled.

,,Mc, I would never force you to anything if you don’t want to, it’s okay. As long as we are together, I’m okay with it,’’ Jaehee said as she took your hands and smiled even warmer.

,,As long as you’re happy, I’m happy too,’’ she nodded.

Saeyoung

Saeran was healthy and happy by your side, Jumin managed to do something with the twins’ father after a long time, and everything was returning to normal.

You and Saeyoung were engaged for three years by now and the wedding preparations finally began.

However, the stress did too.

You and Saeyoung went to sleep alone for three nights in a row by now and both of you were unhappy 24/7.

You were simply unhappy with the theme he decided to go with and… well, you didn’t know what he was angry for.

But he was, and the more he was, the angrier you got.

It didn’t take any longer when you spoke up the fourth day.

,,I can’t take it anymore,’’ you hissed, making Saeran look up from his plate.

,,I don’t like the location, I hate the flowers, sorry Saeran, but no!’’ you hissed, since he chose the flower, making Saeyoung glare at you for hissing at his brother.

,,I don’t like the dress, I hate the shoes, and I dislike the decorations. I don’t like the food, I simply don’t like -’’

,,The groom either?’’ Saeyoung asked you, hitting the fork on the table and standing up, making him look taller than you.

,,His attitude,’’ you hissed.

,,Good, cause it’s the same for me,’’ he groaned.

,,Good! Same here!’’ you yelled.

,,Let’s call it off!’’ he hissed and turned away, regretting his words right away.

,,Yeah! PLEASE!’’ you shouted, feeling better now.

However, a big misunderstanding was growing in the room.

Thank God Saeran asked both of you if you were breaking up.

,,NO! YES!!’’ both of you responded at the same time, looking at each other’s eye with panic written all over your face since no one expected the response.

,,We aren’t breaking up, are we? I mean, I still love you… I just want to call off the marriage…’’ you mumbled, now slowly tearing up as you realized that your fiancé was breaking up with you.

,,NO NO NO NO NO!’’ Saeyoung whined, jumping over the chair and hugging you.

,,I thought you were breaking up with me…’’ he whined and kissed you on your head.

,,Let’s stay together, but let’s call off the wedding…’’ he whispered and finally felt much better.

MASTERLIST 1

MASTERLIST 2

MASTERLIST 3

07.03.2021// 22:05 MEST

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zuffer-weird-girl · 5 years

Text

It's Valentine's day 💌🌹🌹🌹🌹💖💌

He never once thought he would be actually enjoying and, dare he say, even waiting for this special date.

The holiday was utterly stupid in his eyes. Bunch of couples around the streets, anywhere actually, showing their supposed 'love' towards each other. He felt sick and the urge of vomit or to overhaul those things.

Love was dead. No one was pure or even honest about thosr things. Is a complete waste of time, pacience and money most of all.

... that was what he always thought until he met a certain angel who just barged in his life.

You were the only one who actually made him feel something. Something good, swert but not nauseous, suffocating but not deadly... ever day he found himself craving more and more for those things you and only your angelic and pure person can do.

He wanted to give you the world, the skies, hell. Everthing. You deserved the galaxy.

Ever since you two got more intimate you made him promise to go easy on his gifts and attempts to spoil you... although yoy couldn't escape this one.

Valentine's was made for partners to waste theur money and he was going to expend thousands billions of yens if he wanted to.

It was a day where he could show his love for you in gifts! What's better than that? He always sucked at words and affections but gifts he knew it very well.

He woke up on that morning, already in hopes to get out of the room without waking you up before his eyes widen at seing your side empty.

"What the fuck?" He mumbled as he sitted up while grabbing his mask.

Where did you went? Most importantly. HOW did you get off from the bed without wakening him?

His questions were soon answered when he heard your giggles and turned around to see you laying with one side of yours on the door frame, with a adorable and beautiful smile at him.

"Good morning buttercup, slept well?" He sended daggers through his glare and ignoring his pink as hell cheeks at that disgusting pet name.

"What the hell you're doing awake brat?" He grunted before getting up to grab one of his shirts.

You walked towards him before pushing his shoulder a bit to the side while you lowered his mask down to plant a kiss, giggling at noticing hos gis breath had hitched on his throat.

"Happy Valentine's day!" You chirped with a smile "Ah don't worry I brushed my teeth handsome, no morning breath."

He growled while pitching the bridge of his nose in false irritation.

"Stop with those pet names, is embarrassing and disgusting to gear those atrocities leaving your mouth."

"Hey, I'm allowed to do this all day cutie." He flipped your forehead with a 'enough' while you giggled.

"When you're ready can you come to the kitchen for a bit? I thought on maybe bringing you on here but... It would be messy." You scraatched the back of your neck while he deadpanned at you, shirt still on his hands.

"..congrats." he mumbled while finally putting his shirt on "You have a brain."

He smirked underneath his mask at your pout and the way you mockingly poked your tongue out before lefting the room.

He cursed hinself for thinking already on innaproprietate things the moment he saw that pink muscle of yours between those lips he loved so much.

Later Chisaki Kai. Later. For fucks sake what he had become?

He slowly made his way through the halls of the house, smirking at his cellphone at seing his demand would be delivered at least on the afternoon.

One of the many gifts he would be giving to his angel.

Although the smirk had quickly fallen while he saw the table of the kitchen mainly filled with things that he liked.

No. No you just did not-

"So?" You singed besided him "Whacha you think?"

"Angel I just despised you and love at the same time what the hell did you do to me?" You errupted in laughter while he only glared at you with a 'I'm serious'.

Angel: one, devil: zero. Not for long though.

Right after you both had breakfast he went to his office and demanded that you followed him as well. On the middle of thehallway he stopped walking besides you only to be behind your back and cover your eyes with his big and gloved hands.

He pushed the door with his foot carefully, whispering huskily on your ear to keep your eyes closed as the wamrth of his hands dissapeared on the dark.

You heard some shuffling before you felt those hands again undressing you slowly.

"Hm already for dessert devil?" You giggled at the scoff and the quick pinch he gave it to you.

"Shut your filth mouth." He grumbled as he placed another type of fabric, you shivered at the cold feeling of the new material enveloping your skin.

"Take a few steps and..." he standed behind you to admire the clothing for a bit on your body as he crossed his arms "Open."

You gasped at seing the familiar clothing. You and Chisaki were hanging around one day and you just had stopped to look at one black and shiny elegant dress on the showcase, and as a little accessory a purse coming along.

You had joked about how expensive and waste of money it would be for anyone but you also made the mistake on saying the sentence 'is pretty beautiful though. Wish I had the money for those things."

The moment you also joked about going into meeting aling with Kai while wearing those didn't really helped. And you were genuinely shocked when he only nodded before returning to his walk.

You thought that he had stopped that tendency of looking at you only einfow shopping and straight forward just going to buy it... ok, you were wrong. He was still doing that.

"Kai!" You gasped breathless as he only had that smug look.

"Also here." He picked a two boxes on his desk, one smaller than the other "The ones you had were getting old."

"A new laptop and cellphone?! Kai you're insane?!" You asked in disbelief almost dropping the electronics on the ground.

"No. I'm close to being, if Im not already, a sociopath. But I am completely san-"

"You know what I meant! Kai oh my god please tell me these three are the only ones, you surely wasted a lot of money on tjose already!" You said in worry as you looked at the prices of the devices.

The worst of all is that... your "old" laptop and cellphone weren't exactly old and were working pretty well... and your botfriend just bought you the newest one on the marketing.

"I won't lie to you." He said simply, blocking the possible facepalm you were going to do with his own hand. "You will hurt yourself like that."

Jesus Christ you felt like you were going to combust.

Chisaki REALLY WENT OVERBOARD on this. He had payed for everthing one week before the valentines and the more you thought was over the more it came the expensive and luxurious things.

You blushed crinson red when you saw a pair of lingerie, not expecting Kai to bought THAT in specific. You almost dropped dead when he showed you some swiss chocolate; although you giggled at his cuteness when he taste it the sweet things and his eyes sparkled a bit at the taste. Present after present and you were getting slightly anxious.

"K-kai?" You said smilling but worry still evident on his box while he signed on some paper before getting a box out of Chrono's hands with a nod while looking at you.

"Here dearest." He showed you the box and you had to gulp down the desperate screan you wanted to let out "You said once how those dishes were adorable or something related, so here is the whole dinnerware set."

You sighed with a smile before picking the box and placing it down, your boyfriend arching one of his eyebrows at your action before you looked up at him.

"There's more?" You asked while crossing your arms.

"A few yes but-"

"That's enough Kai." You interrupted, quickly smilling at seing his face "My devil I love and appreciate with all my heart all those things, how you listen to me and pay attention to every detail. But-" you laughed before pointing at the boxes "T-This is way too much! Kai you can't just buy anything that I mention it and almost drow me on gifts."

He sighed in annoyance before pinching the space between his eyebrows.

"Angel, this is all for you. Money is not something you need to worry about anyway, besides, you already did the breakfast without my knowledge... I just want you to have everything you deserve." He brough his hand down while he looked at you with something else in those golden eyes. "Is it that wrong?"

"Is not wrong. But it is when you go over board. Kai, buying me expensives and lots of things wont make me love you any more or less." You took a few steps only to be inches away from gis toned chest as you stared uo at him "Can we just be... casual? There's going to happen a meteor rain and I would love to watch it with the love of my life..." you lifted your hand up and hesitated to touch his face before you smiled warmingly at seing his gloved hand holded yours. "Honestly? Is all I ask. You with me is the best thing I can have."

He seemed in deep thought at a moment before he sighed in annoyance, messing with your hair as he mumbled his agreement... secretly loving the way your eyes widened and shined in adoration at him.

You were indeed a quirkless unique angel. And only his.

Every one in your place would have savored it, taken advantage of the situation while greedily accepting what a yakusa member could offer...

Yet here he was, simple clothes along with yours... sitted on the balcony with mugs of tea on hands, you staring at the dark but shint sky as his fazed remained fixed on your features.

Pure. You were pure from this sick society. Having you in his kife was like a damn blessing and a readon for him to live... you showed hin feelings that he thought it didn't exist it, nothing more than stupid fairytales, and also gave him another reason to keep living... to keep working just as hard as ge could.

To bring the yakusa back fron the shadows and keep his angel safe and sound. Those were his motivations... Pops and you were the only ones kind enough to accept him.

And he was going to repay you both for that. Curing this sick world was one of the many things he was going to do...

But for now... he just would admire the work of art he had on his side.

Your giggles made him arch a eyebrow as he took a sip from his hot drink.

"If you keep staring at me you will lose the show you know, is going to happen soon!" You turned around, your flying along with the breeze of the night making you shiver for a bit.

"I told you to get a coat on idiot." He sayed nonchalantly as he took of his iconic green jacket and placed it over your shoulders.

"Now you will-"

"It's fine." He interrupted as he almost touched your foreheads together "I don't get cold."

"Liar." You pouted mockingly before giggling a it when he pinched your cheek.

You thanked the heavens that you got a shower before nightine or else you wouldn't be able to feel those affectionate subtle touches of your boyfriend...

He was always so straight forward with his despise of touch, but thise were the moments where you recorded scenes like earlier today... where you had to escape like a damn ninja from a mobster iron grip on bed as he slept peacefully.

You gasped when you saw the first oe s falling, getting a bit away from Kai to point out in the skies like a toddler on a candy or toy store.

"Kai Kai! Look! Is starting!" You jumped in exciment on your seat ehile Chisaki only looked up for a few seconds, widening his eyes a bit before returning it back to normal...

He looked down at your smile and the way your eyes shined at seing the natural show... he swore that on that moment he fell even more for you.

He smiled sincerely, not taking his eyes off from you. You noticed that and turned with a mocking smile.

"Hey you're not paying attention! Is going to end soon!" You gasped in surprise when he cupped your face on his hand as he lowered fown his mask, smile still on his lips.

Screw the stars, this was a sign of heaven. Chisaki's smile could cure even the worst of diseases.

"What happened with my 'I don't give a fuck' face boyfriend?" You asked while melting on his touch and love gaze.

"You should be the one answering this... you made me fall for you angel. And I surprisingly have no regrets." He brushed his lips against yours before closing the fisgusting distance along with your desperation to feel his scent and lips connected with yours.

Just when things were getting... hotter a knock interrupted you both, causing you two to groan.

"Sorry to bother ya love birds but the package of thousands roses came Overhaul."

You blinked before glaring playfully at him, while him just sended Mimic back and to jot come back until tommorow.

You both had things to get done.

#overhaul x reader #overhaul scenario #fanfic overhaul #overhaul #chisaki kai imagine scenario #chisaki kai x reader #kai chisaki #chisaki kai #bnha imagine #bnha x reader #bnha characters #bnha villains #bnha #bnha imagines #my writing #zuffer writings

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xxisxxisxxis · 4 years

Text

Gateway Drug | Part Sixty-Eight

A/N: Okay, firstly I cannot apologize enough for the delay. I'm sorry for not posting when I planned on, I have no idea how I feel about this chapter, it's all over the place and I've honestly thought of erasing it and starting back over but that'd take even longer and I don't want to make you guys wait any more. I'm sorry for falling through on my assurance I'd post by Friday.

Timeline in case anyone is wondering, this chapter starts around the 18th of September (flashback is last couple days in July) and ends at the end of September.

I hope you guys like it, perfectly understandable if y'all don't and I will be trying harder next time. Thank you🖤

P.S.--I haven't forgotten about the "D" Viv gets tattooed on her, it's being mentioned in the next chapter.

Words: 4.4K

Warning(s): Explicit language, violence, mentions of drug abuse, mentions of sexual abuse, insensitive implication of suicide.

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LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED

I'm taking another bite of eggs, before an issue of Playboy is plopped down in front of me, into my food.

I was expecting the cover to hit stands sooner, rather than later. We went back on tour the first of September, and the issue wasn't out until September 16, a couple days after getting back on tour from a separate break that took place a week and a half after our first break at the end of July did.

I'm on the cover, naked, and I hesitantly run my eyes up Doc's body to his eyes, giving an uneasy smile, knowing I'm in trouble.

I swallow my food and he glares at me.

Within ten minutes, he's got all of us back into another meeting.

"Playboy?!" He's pacing the floor, throwing his hands up. "Y-You…" he trails off, the vein popping out on his forehead.

I look around and notice everybody--Ross, Fred, Tommy, Vince, Mick, Rich--has got a copy of it, flipping through, including Nikki, and I feel my face heat up, slowly sliding down in my seat.

"...Playboy!" Doc gets out again, before he starts laughing.

"Was a staff meeting really necessary for this?" I ask him.

"I mean, it could be worse." Fred tries to take up for me as my question is ignored.

"Yeah, she could've went behind our backs and shot a porno." Vince adds, glancing at me. "...or did you do that, too?"

Apparently I don't deny that quick enough because Doc is looking at me with an even more severe look.

"Did you?!" He asks.

"No?!" I argue, starting to get pissed. "I posed for Playboy, what's the big deal?"

Doc starts laughing again.

"What's the big deal? What's the big deal? What's the bi--what's the big deal?!" He pulls at his hair. "I am about to have a heart attack. I am about to have a heart attack. You--" he lets out a loud yell of frustration and we all look at each other. "--Are you trying to kill me, Viv?! 'Cause I feel like you are!"

"From a photography perspective, they're quite beautiful photos." Ross says positively.

"Yes, I for one want to express my gratitude and admiration for Saint Viv's--well, Dirty Stripper Viv's--contribution to the livelihood of many a jerking offs." Vince states. "Also would like to note," he looks at a particular picture of me before adding, "I've only imagined her doing this position but now that it's here on paper, I'd like her to demonstrate--slowly, in detail--exactly how she twisted hersel--"

"--Dude, shut up!" Tommy snaps, his hands over his eyes, his head back, and Vince grins at me, making me roll my eyes.

It kind of scares me how quiet Nikki is as he calmly thumbs through his.

"Okay." Doc takes a deep breath. "When did this happen?" He asks me.

"I got an offer in the mail, and took them up on it, and when we were in Chicago I went by their studio." I explain. "I still don't know what the big deal is. I thought it was the idea for rockstars and Playboy models to be together."

Doc looks at me with flared nostrils before flipping through his magazine.

"Whose is this?" He asks, turning the magazine around to show me, his finger on Duff's bass.

I just look at him, not knowing what to say.

"I know what every bass of Nikki's looks like and it's got too many personalized ticks on it for it to be a random prop they tossed at you." He adds.

The room is quiet for a moment.

"It's Duff's." Nikki says and Doc raises his brows.

"The fuck is that?" He questions me.

"Guns N' Roses bassist." Nikki informs him, his tone neutral.

I'm afraid to look at him, knowing it's gonna break my heart.

"The band that you've been in my ear about bringing on the tour?"

Nikki let's out a confirming sigh and Doc looks at me.

"So this kid's gonna bring this bass to play on tour, and everybody's gonna recognize it when they flip through your little stunt here," he waves the magazine, "and it's all gonna come together and they're gonna realize a few days after Vanity allegedly dropped a bombshell about her and Nikki supposedly having an affair--which is said to be bullshit--his wife comes out humping another man's fuckin' bass." He tells me and I roll my eyes. "You roll your eyes all you want. Vanity fucking fried all of us, and then you decided to toss us into the fucking fire. Not that I expect anything different from a goddamn Sixx at this point. You both know how to make shit worse than it already is."

"I highly doubt they'll notice, Doc." Tommy cuts in again.

"You stay out of this." Doc snaps at him.

Another beat of silence goes by.

"Nikki? Your thoughts? You're her fucking husband. You helped kickstart this snowball of shit that just keeps getting bigger and bigger. What's your fucking opinion on her doing this? Am I gonna have to worry about you bending another girl over on stage and going to town in retaliation or what?" Doc sarcastically throws out there. "I mean nothing will fucking surprise my anymore. I just need to know what I need to prepare to clean up next."

My heart pounds as I look at Nikki, liner smudged, tired eyes, glancing at me as he lets out a defeated sigh.

"She's a grown woman, Doc." He surprisingly says and I widen my eyes in shock, as everyone else looks worried that Nikki's not screaming at me for it right now.

Not yet, at least.

"That's it?" Doc asks him, raising his brows. "She didn't say a word about it, didn't give a warning, a heads up, nothing, and she comes out like this and you have absolutely nothing to fucking say?"

Nikki just shrugs.

"She just does whatever the hell she wants to do. Doesn't matter how I'd feel before, why does it matter what I feel like, now? Like I said, she's grown. Whatever she wants to do, she can do." He finishes, standing up to leave.

"Nikki, are you fucking me right now?!" Doc complains as Nikki heads to the door. "You flip your shit over tiny stuff but your own wife does this without even telling you about it and you just brush it off?!"

"Just because she calls me 'daddy' doesn't mean I can act like her fucking father, Doc." Nikki sternly says and my face heats up. "We're not even together so why the fuck would I care what she does or who she does it with?"

His bark was "I don't give a fuck" and "she can do whatever she wants", but a couple months later his bite was "you aren't worth a fucking thing which is why you had to get naked in a magazine to get validation in the first place" then proceeded to bare his teeth down further into my heart by adding, "just another pussy to unload in and get on to the next attention-humping slut."

The next thing I knew, Duff was knocking him to the ground and the two of them started ripping into each other like dogs.

Once the meeting is over, after another hour of going back and forth, feeling like I was going to vomit from impending guilt, I'm getting back to my room and making a beeline for the toilet.

I take a deep breath once I'm done, wiping the few tears from my cheeks.

I don't feel bad for posing…the entire meeting it took everything not to confess that me posing naked with Duff's bass should be the least of their worries, compared to what other activities I've gotten up to with him the last time the band had a couple days off and we went back to L.A.

The sound of my room phone ringing pulls me out of my head

“Hello?” I answer.

“H-Hey.” I hear Tansy’s voice on the other end and I perk up.

“Hey, Tans, how’re you feeling?” I ask her, nervously.

“Good, um…” She lets out a soft sigh. “...I relapsed.”

I close my eyes for a moment, exactly like I did last week, and the week before, and the week before, and so on.

After Sparkie did his damage, Tansy promised to swear the bastard off. But within two weeks of her incident, she was back with him, only because her babysitters--Slash and Steven--left her unattended and she ran off to find him.

They’d find her, threaten Sparkler, bring her back home and the second they turned around long enough, she was gone again.

Nikki had ordered them that she wasn't supposed to be around Sparkie because he had "accidentally" taken it too far while they were messing around…

Skylar squeals as tickle at her stomach, shampoo sticking her blonde hair straight up while Sharise runs a wash cloth over Sky's back.

When she's done, she's wringing the water out of it.

"Sky, we gotta wash the shampoo out of your hair." I tell her.

"Nuh." She protests, shaking her head.

"Skylar, we gotta get the shampoo out so we can get conditioner in your hair and get the tangles out."

"Nuh." She states, looking at us like we're crazy.

"Don't be a diva like daddy." Sharise tell her, raising her brows.

"Da-da?"

"Da-da's golfing." She replies.

Skylar looks between us.

"Nuh." She argues. "Beebee." She points at me.

Sharise looks at me and hands me the little plastic cup she uses to rinse Sky's hair.

"I'm gonna grab a towel from the couch." Sharise tells me. "Let Veevee rinse your hair."

Skylar's cooperative, letting me get the shampoo from her hair and letting me put conditioner in and rinsing it out.

When we're done, Sharise is picking Skylar up from the bath and wrapping her in her towel.

The phone starts ringing and I dry hands off and stand up.

"I'll get it." I assure Sharise.

"Alright, it could be Vince. He said he'd call before he headed home."

"Okay."

I go to the living room and pick the phone up.

"Hello?"

"I'm coming by to pick you up." It's Nikki, and I furrow my brows and look at the time.

"What're you doing up before two o'clock?"

"I got a call from a hospital in Malibu. Tansy's in surgery right now."

My blood runs cold and I can't get my thoughts together.

"Just be ready when I get there." He adds. "I'm leaving the house, now."

"O-Okay."

He hangs up and I head to Skylar's room where Sharise is helping her pick out some clothes.

"That was Nikki." I inform her and she looks at me. "Tansy's at the hospital in the middle of a surgery."

"Oh my God, is she okay?"

"I don't know."

"Is she having more heart problems or--"

"--I have no idea, Sharise. Nikki didn't explain."

Despite her body being pumped full of varying drugs, none of them caused her to be sent to the ER. Something else entirely, did though.

"She's more susceptible to complications during surgery due to her previous heart problems and her drug use. She did decide to sign a DNR--"

"--I'm sorry, what's been signed?" Nikki raises his brows at the nurse.

"A do-not resuscitate order. Meaning if she were to code, we can not perform cardiopulmonary resuscitation."

"So you just fucking let her die?!"

"Nikki, they had to explain to her what it meant, and she still agreed--" I'm cut short.

“--You know how much fucking heroin she fucking shoots on a daily basis?! I'm not even sure she could fucking see to sign her God damn in the first place, let alone comprehend you motherfuckers selling her death!" Nikki barks and the nurse sighs.

“Nikki, she’ll be fine.” I try to tell him.

"Fuck that!" He screams, fear in his eyes.

"Nikki, that's only if something goes wrong, alright? So far everything is going okay." I try to reassure him, my eyes drifting to her nurse. "Right?"

The surgery itself was going smoothly. One thing Tansy didn't tell us, however, was one of her kidneys was shot from her drug and alcohol abuse, and she asked her doctor to go ahead and take the thing out.

"She's in good hands." Is all the nurse says, before adding, "she should be out in a couple more hours."

She walks away and Nikki shakes his head and lets out a heavy breath.

"It'll be okay." I say to him.

“You gonna fucking pray about it or something?” He sneers at me.

“Yes.”

“Right, imaginary friends solve all of the world’s problems.”

“There’s nothing wrong with me doing something that brings me some peace.” I argue.

“You’ve been praying for me for the past six years. Feel any fucking peace, yet?” He snaps.

Believe it or not, no. I hadn’t felt any fucking peace.

It doesn’t take Tansy much longer to get out of surgery, and Nikki and I are horrified when her doctor explains what exactly he was repairing, being that the nurse wouldn’t tell us.

“Like...a shooter sized bottle--”

“--Pint.” He says to us and Nikki and I look at eachother.

“They tried to fit a pint sized bottle of Jack into her…?” I trail off.

“Well, they made it fit, it just didn’t stay intact.” He replies.

“The bottle of her vagina?” I question.

“I had to stitch up her vaginal wall extensively, and made sure to remove every piece of glass, including micrograins. Her left fallopian tube would have been compromised if the piece of glass that completely punctured through her vaginal wall, would have moved 0.004mm, which is about the thickness of a single strand of hair.” He states. “She’s very lucky her uterus or ovaries weren’t compromised. That wouldn’t have been as easy of a fix.”

“A--A bottle?” I’m stll stuck on them fitting a fucking bottle into her, my face twisted in horror as my stomach drops and my skin crawls.

He holds up a small container and rattles it around, the sound of glass swishing around making me cringe.

“Jesus fucking christ.” Nikki lets out.

“I’m going to tell her when she wakes, but please reiterate after me, that the next time she and her partner wish to add some heat to their sex life, maybe try not to be so blatantly reckless.” He suggests and Nikki and I nod, still speechless.

In a couple more hours, Nikki and I’s ears perk when she groans a little, our eyes shifting to look at her in her hospital bed.

Her bright blue eyes blink open, her brows furrowed in confusion, and it seems everything slowly falls into place for her.

“Tans?” Nikki says and she looks straight at him, just blinking.

“Where’s Sparkie?” She asks and we look at each other.

“We haven’t seen him.” I explain.

“Oh.” She quietly mumbles, closing her eyes again for a moment.

“Tansy, what the hell happened?” Nikki starts, a sharp tone in his voice.

She looks at me, carefully, before speaking.

“We were just trying to spice things up.” She says softly.

“With a fucking Jack Daniel’s bottle that clearly wouldn’t naturally fit inside of you?” He lets out.

She doesn’t say a word back, I almost think she doesn’t hear him, until she says:

“I’m not fighting right now.”

“Let’s just let her rest, okay?” I suggest. “She’s exhausted and she doesn’t need to be stressed out right now.”

Nikki sighs, but keeps his mouth shut.

After a few more minutes, I’m wanting a snack.

“You have any cash?”

He looks at me and I give him my best smile, making him exhale softly, digging in his back pocket for his wallet.

“How much?” He asks, clearing his throat.

“Like, a couple bucks.” I shrug and he hands it to me. “Thank you.”

I go to the vending machines past the waiting area, to see Sparkie sitting by the window, eating his food, and I glare at him as I walk by.

He doesn’t see me, unfortunately, and I just keep going to the Pepsi Cola machine calling my name.

I want to go curse him out, but Tansy doesn’t need the stress, and being they were both high as a kite, I can’t solely put the blame on him and only him.

She should have just left him years ago. All he’s been is trouble that she doesn’t need.

I get my Pepsi and a pack of M&Ms, walking around a little to stretch my legs since I’ve been sitting for hours.

I let out a heavy breath when I remember I’m nearly out of Nardil, being I flushed a majority of my bottle down the toilet in an angry effort.

I’ll make sure to call in some more before we leave for the next leg of the tour.

As I start on my way back to the room, I’m interrupted by the sight of Nikki and Sparkie standing face to face in the waiting room, and I drop my Pepsi and food when Nikki slams Sparkie’s head into the wall without a single word beforehand.

“Sir!” The receptionist yells, standing up as I go to them as fast as I can to get Nikki off of him as he grabs his shirt and punches the shitfire out of Sparkie, one of his teeth crumbling to the floor.

“I’m gonna fucking kill you!” He promises as he punches him two more times, not taking a breath in between with no signs of stopping his assault until Sparkie’s brain is bursting from his skull, but I’m managing to get Nikki off of him, making him drop Sparkie to the floor, his nose and mouth busted up as security comes in.

We were escorted out, and when we got home I called Steven and informed him what happened to Tansy, leaving out what actually happened because I didn’t need anyone else possibly being sued for trying to kill Sparkie, and he went to keep an eye on her.

“Anyone else you want to beat the shit out of while we’re home?” I snap as we get to the car. “First Vanity, now Sparkie--”

"--What, you wanna go back in there and coddle him the way you did Vanity?" He hisses and I roll my jaw.

"You know exactly why I 'coddled' her."

"Oh, right, because men aren't suppose to hit women so I'm an evil bastard for knocking the shit out of her even though she was punching and hitting at me."

"I've punched and hit at you and you've never--"

"--She came into our house, attacked me, and punched you, too, Vivian! I had a reason to bust her face up a little bit!"

"I can handle shit myself, Nikki, there was no need for you to hit her like that!"

"It's called 'equal rights'! All you women want is to be seen equally and shit! You fucking punch me like you're a man, I'm gonna fucking punch you back, like you're a fucking man! Don't hit me like you've got bigger balls than I do and then scream and cry and whine and plead 'frail, innocent, victimized, dainty, woman' when you get treated equally!"

"I don't do that!"

"No, but you sure as hell were all about feeding the cracked out beast when she fucking did!"

"That's it. I'm walking home."

"Walking home? We're forty minutes away from L.A., Viv."

"I'll hitch a ride! I'd rather be in a car with a sketchy stranger than be trapped with you for the next hour!"

"You've been trapped with me the past four years!" He barks.

"Not for much longer, thank God!" I bite out and his face slowly falls. "I didn't mean it like that."

"Pretty sure going our separate ways is just inevitable for us at this point, Viv, so it's fine." He brushes it off and my heart hurts at the thought. "And I'm sorry for going after Sparkie in public. But I'm not apologizing for defending Tansy. I'm not ever gonna be sorry for defending any of my friends."

“What happened, Nikki?” I ask him. “What the hell made you go after him like that? You were fine when I left.”

He lets out a breath, his nostrils flaring, his knuckles gripping tightly to the wheel as he closes his eyes and forces himself to calm down, before saying:

“Nothing. I just really thought about it and it got to me.”

I didn’t find out what happened until Tansy told me months down the road, and nobody else knows that’s actually what happened.

If Stevie and Slash knew what really occurred to put Tansy in that shape to begin with, they would’ve killed Sparkie the second Tansy first went back and "relapsed" on him.

"Tansy, he hurt you." I remind her. "And I know it was an accident but it doesn't matter. He could've seriously messed you up more than he did."

"I know, but I love him, Viv." She argues.

"Tansy--"

"--Nikki shot you. And you're still with him."

"Because Nikki was high out of his mind and didn't realize he actually was shooting at me. He thought I was someone after him."

"Sparkie was fucked up and didn't know he was hurting me."

"Who the hell shoves a pint-sized glass bottle up their cunt to begin with, Tansy?" I raise my voice, getting aggravated with her.

"I'm gonna go." She tells me, calmly, after a moment of being quiet. "And I saw your Playboy issue--Steven got it. You look very beautiful." She genuinely says and I let out a defeated breath.

"Thanks."

"I'll talk to you later, Viv, okay?"

"Got it."

"I love you, bye."

"I love you, too, bye-bye."

I hang up and fall back on the bed, groaning loudly in frustration.

"How the hell can someone be as passively suicidal as she is?" I let out.

I'd find out soon enough.

In the last ten days of September, "Girls, Girls, Girls" is certified double-platinum, a $5000 lawsuit is filed against the band after a mother had apparently suffered "severe hearing dysfunction and mental anguish" at a recent concert.

I wish I could sew these bastards for hearing dysfunction and mental anguish because God himself sure as shit knows I've had my fair share of it due to them, too.

By the end of the month, Nikki has Doc convinced to bring Guns N Roses on tour for the south leg, starting at the end of October…and I don't know how to feel about it.

"Are you not excited about it?" Fred asks me after Doc leaves his hotel room after coming in to tell me the news. "Thought they were your buddies." He adds and I look at him from where I'm eating a fry from the fast food bag that he'd gone and got for us.

"They are." I confirm, nodding. "I'm excited."

"...You just acted like Doc told you we were going to a funeral." He chuckles, sipping his drink and I lick my lips a little.

"No, it's great, I'm just a little stressed out." I shrug. "But I'm fine."

"Viv, what's going on?" He's not buying it and Iet out a soft breath, nervously picking the skin from the instead of my cheek with my teeth.

"There's just a slight complication." I tell him and he raises his brows.

"I'm all ears." He offers and I exhale, shaking my head a little, before opting for a way to confess my sins to him without him knowing I'm the one that needs forgiveness.

"Well, you know how Sparkie and Tansy have been together for a long time?"

"Yeah." He nods.

"She's really good friends with Axl, too, and her and Sparkie have been having some problems and might even break up so Tansy's been anxious and panicking a little, and, well…" I think for a moment. "...over this past break, Tansy slept with Axl." I say and his brows raise. "Who's the singer for Guns, and they've kinda been having a weird relationship situation thing happening ever since, but she's still with Sparkie, and being that she and Sparkie are along for the tour, Axl's gonna be around and she doesn't want Sparkie to find out what's been happening."

"Why won't Tansy just break things off with Sparkie?"

"She doesn't want to hurt him."

"He's a piece of shit to her, are you kidding me? I'd tell that motherfucker he could go blow his fucking brains out over it." He scoffs, chewing his burger and I feel my heart sink, apparently he reads the look on my face. "Sorry, I forget women are wired a different way than guys are." He apologizes, swallowing his food before saying:

"Does Axl make her happier, you think?"

"Sparkie's just exhausting her at this point. I think she really loves him, she's just tired of fighting and she hasn't had any peace in years, you know? She's just really tired. But when she's with Axl, she feels like everything isn't falling apart. She's at peace."

"I think she's gotta tell Sparkie they just aren't working anymore. And be honest about how she feels instead of trying to brush over it and find ways to escape from it. I've seen her do some questionable shit, and I know it's because she's in pain and just doesn't want to deal with what's hurting her. I think this fling she's got with this dude is another way of crying for a way out, but she feels like she's too trapped to actually leave Sparkie." He explains.

I nod slowly, tearing up a little.

"I'm just worried about it, is all."

"Don't be." He shakes his head. "Just tell her what I just told you, and maybe she'll be done with Sparkie before Guns comes on a month from now."

I take a deep breath and close my eyes for a moment.

"I doubt it." I say so quietly he doesn't even hear it.

I felt like I'd gotten a little bit of my guilt off my chest--aside from the fact that I was leaving out a minor detail:

"Sparkie" = Nikki, "Tansy" = Vivian, and, "Axl" = Duff.

#nikki sixx #mötley crüe #nikki sixx x oc #nikki sixx fanfiction #gateway drug

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ravengorge · 5 years

Text

Unpleasant SANSation

Chapter one

Your eyes flickered towards the door, your body twitched and flinched at the slightest sounds that came from upstairs. Sans seems to have came back, and that meant having to endure his frightening presence and unwanted attention.

You squeezed your eyes shut tightly as you heard the telltale sound of a key turning against the old rusted metal lock. You wondered dimly at how old this building was to have such rusty locks and squeaky hinges, before focusing back on your original panic.

Trying to force you breathing at a normal pace, so as to not hyperventilate, you pressed yourself closer to the corner wall you had inhabited. Your long h/c hair stuck uncomfortably to your neck, having broken out into a sweat despite the damp and cold atmosphere of the basement.

Your hands reached up and covered your dainty ears as you heard the floorboards creak under Sans’ weight as he came down the stairs. You squirmed and resisted the urge to open your eyes as he came further down the stairs—towards you. He stopped at the bottom stair and then there was nothing but silence. Save for the involuntary whimper that escaped your own throat. Silently cursed and berated yourself for showing him any signs of you fear, you held your breath in an attempt to not do it again. But honestly, who were you kidding? The basement air was so thick with your fear, Sans could practically cut it with his most beloved axe.

You shuddered violently as you recalled that horrifying axe, stained and chipped from only god knows what. The handle had been worn down from Sans’ relentless grip on it, meaning it had been well used. You were most certain that you would meet your end at that dreadful axe when he finally tired of this sick and twisted game that he played with you.

Honestly, you can only blame yourself for ending up in this situation. You knew you weren't supposed to go into the unexplored Undergrounds. The police had even taped off the area when the monsters first emerged. But Town Ebbot was such a bumpkin town with only a handful of police officers, and you were a girl hungry for new exploration and adventure—well you most certainly got more than you asked for. It hadn't been difficult to even get into the Undergrounds.

What you hadn't been expecting though, was to find a monster still in the Undergrounds.

‘And to think, he had seemed so harmless when I first met him.’ You thought to yourself bitterly.

And he had been harmless, big smile on his face, cracking jokes, and eager to talk to you and answer any questions you had about monsterkind and his home. He had been harmless, up until the moment you had tried to head back home. Then that lead to him offering to lead you to the entrance, but instead finding yourself in a situation out of a horror movie. God how you wished it were a horror movie, at least you would be alive and could go home after the curtains closed.

You had always been too trusting, but it had never gotten you into too much trouble in your life. Much less gotten you chained up in some basement by a skeletal freak who seemed to take enjoyment in your discomfort and fear—well, that is until now of course.

Speaking of that creep…where was he? Why couldn't you hear him any longer? Had he left already? Perhaps he had just been checking up on you? To make sure you hadn't somehow escaped. Yeah, fat chance of that happening.

Sitting stiffly against the wall, you dropped your hands from around your ears to listen closely to the still silence of the basement. You sat there for several moments, the only thing heard to your perked ears were the sounds of your own ragged breathing.

After hearing nothing but silence, you sagged heavily against the wall with a sigh of relief. You couldn't deal with that creature anymore today anyways.

Finally, having mustered up the courage, and having already reassured yourself that Sans had indeed left, you flicked open your eyes.

And then promptly started to scream.

******

“shh, shh, ‘s ok sweetheart. jus’ me.”

You quickly cut your screaming off, flinching into the wall shielding your face with your arms as Sans raised his clawed skeletal fingers to your face to touch you.

How? How did he get across the room without you hearing? Sans was a very heavy monster, you knew having already tried to fight your way past him to get to the door. That's why you had a chain around your ankle now. So, how could he have walked across the room and sat mere inches from you without you not hearing? And why? Why had he just sat there and watched you?

You were brought back from all the questions tumbling around in your head, when you felt his, oddly warm, fingers wrapped around your arm. He firmly pulled both arms away and held them tightly against the ground. Feeling hot tears spill down your cheeks, you squeezed your eyes shut in the vain hope of stopping them.

You felt, rather than heard, Sans sit back. That would've brought you relief, except Sans still had an almost painful grip on your wrist, and had promptly dragged you forward into him as he moved.

“ain't hurtin’ ya and you’re cryin’.” Sans said, annoyance clear in the tone he used. His fingers tightened around your wrists before you let out a soft squeak of pain.

At the sound of that, Sans immediately let go of your tiny wrists. But when you opened your eyes once more and attempted to scramble off his lap, Sans’ arms wrapped around you, trapping you.

“don't move.” Sans growled, and you froze in your fruitless struggle. This was new, Sans hadn't done anything like this before. In the weeks he's kept you down here he'd only spoken to you and occasionally reached out to smooth your hair or brush his fingers across your arm. Now while his little touches weren't wanted, you most certainly preferred them to this forceful embrace.

"shh, shhhh, see. youre bein such a good girl now." Sans cooed, as if he were praising a startled stray dog. He tugged you closer and you grimaced as you felt the sharp edges of the hole in his head, digging painfully into the top of your head as he nuzzled you.

"so good, so good, and all mine." His tone became possessive as he dug his skeletal fingers into his skin, breaking skin.

Pulling back away, his eyes landed hungrily on the droplets of blood welling up from where his fingers had been moments ago.

"heeheeheehee, whoops." He mumbled, not looking sorry one bit. Sans then dipped a finger in a drop of blood, dragging it across your arm to smear it, before popping the finger into his mouth. He actually leaned forward against you and fucking moaned . Like the bastard was getting off on your blood or something.

Still trapped by his steel like grip on your wrists you opened your mouth.

"Please, please let me go. I won't tell anyone. Please, I promise. I have family, they're looking for me." Your words came rushing out like word vomit. You couldn't see Sans face, as he currently had the top of his head on your shoulder, however you did feel his fingers tightened threateningly around your wrists.

"why d'ya always talk about leavin?" He growled, actually fucking growled. Like a dog or something.

"ya hav'ta stay. can't lettem see ya, theyll take ya from me. fuckin vanilla will think he owns ya, cuz yer in his timeline. and red, that horny bastard, will tryna fuck anythin in a skirt. and pup, he'll know, he'll know what ya are t'us." Sans rambled on, about who you had no idea, but he finally leaned back to look you in the eyes. While you tried to hold eye contact with his… eyelight? But being the coward you were, you just dropped your gaze to the floor like you usually did.

"it's okay m'little treat. ya jus gotta stay here. where it's safe."

You shuddered violently, not feeling safe in the least. You were terrified of the large threatening skeleton and his crazy rambling. You just wanted to go home, but you had an unnerving feeling that you wouldn't be going home for a very very long time.

{To read the other chapters go to the link below}

#undertale #sans x reader #horrortale #underfell #swapfell #beasttale #underswap #kidnapping

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feraldavestrider · 5 years

Note

Honestly when you started saying you need dysphoria to be trans I was this close to hitting the unfollow button but I agree with you. sometimes people say "I don't have dysphoria I'm just happier as this gender" and like ??? maybe you should consider how happy you actually were before whatever transitioning you did. Sometimes I feel kinda empty and don't wanna do things. I'm not sad and I can deal with it indefinitely but guess what, that's still depression. Not all dysphoria is obvious.

yeah!! ill be honest i was mostly frustrated and i just woke up when i wrote that stuff so i wont b surprised if i lost some followers who didnt get what i meant/thought i was truscum/transmed,,,, or if ppl just dont agree which is life. but im glad u got what i meant!

**edit i made before i posted this i say “you” a lot in this and i mean like a general audience you mostly pointed towards like. op and those that agree ok note over**

i by NO means am trying to police ppls identifies or suggest that all experiences w dysphoria are the same. or that u should ever need to share details on those experiences! you dont owe anyone anything.

my main issue is that “tucute”/mogai tumblr propagates this idea that you can just be trans without feeling any discomfit w ur agab, and the associated name, pronouns, ur physical form (ie some various forms of dysphoria). because then what are we boiling being trans down to???? saying youre trans/nonbinary just bc you may dress in a gnc/non conventional manner or because u act/talk/have certain hobbies that are gendered in a way that doesnt fit ur assigned gender???? if you genuinely feel NO issue with ur agab at ALL then chief... u probably arent trans!! and thats ok! a lot of ppl i know have ided as trans at some point in their life and actually realised they were experiencing something else, like body dysmorphia or internalised lesbophobia.

like u said, dysphoria can sometimes just be... not bery apparent. it can be silent, but its still there. im very skeptical of the idea of ppl habinf gender “euphoria” without the dysphoria n using that to explain their transness but mostly bc i just beliebe those ppl r dysphoric without realising it, probably bc of mogai/tucute tumblr culture! i.e. i didnt realise how bad i actually experienced name dysphoria until AFTER i changed my name basicaly everywhere except legally and w my family. bc i was like huh! im so euphoric at being called gabe, but i didnt think i felt thay dysphoric at my birth name! but NOW when i get deadnamed, it like. HURTS most of the time. dysphoria can change like that w ur life experiences, and euphoria doesnt exist without the dysphoria, evem if u arent aware of the dysphoria in rhe first place! like u said anon, how okay could u be w ur agab/birth name/assigned pronouns/etc if being called different ones make u so happy. its just dysphoria!!!

! u just have been indoctrinated by this tucute v truscum war where both sides treat dysphoria as an all encompassing tragic, epic life long suffering. truscum act thay way in order to gatekeep who is/isnt trans, and mogais decided thay RATHER than go, “no dumbass dysphoria can be literally just. hih i feel Wrong abt my agab” even if thats a vague and complicated feeling, they went: ok then we dont need dysphoria fuck u! which i INDERSYAND but its just not right or helpful!

often dysphoria can change w experiences and comes and goes, and sometimes parts of it are so hodden u wont realise it was there until years later in ur life! and thats ok. you dont have to experience every symptom of dysphoria at 100% tragedy pain mode to be a valid Real Transgender. all you need to be trans is... to be trans. which means dysphoria! bc being trans is being uneasy/unhappy w ur assigned gender bc u arent that! and guess what the definition of dysphoria is... being uneasy and unhappy! so being trans is just having gender dysphoria!

on that note, i think that ppl who DONT actually feel uneasy or unhappy w their birth gender but do want to experiment or explore different modes of expression w names/pronouns/dress style should! but just note tjay like... ur probably just gender non comforming, not transgender

i guess being nonbinary is a little more complex but id argue my point still stands. you are uncomfortable w ur birth gender. thats dysphoria. maybe ur dysphoria seems “”””weird”””” bc ur nb dusphoria but its not. its still dysphoria! if ur afab and u still want to have long hair... thay dossnt mean u dont have dysphoria. if ur agab and you still want to have armpit and leg hair... thay doesnt mean u dont have dysphoria. whether ur nb or binary trans! bc. you WILL have some form of social/personal dysphoria that is what makes u go HM ASSIGNED GENDER BAD!

ok im done for now im abt to sleep and then get on an 11 hour plane journey so dont expect anything gr8 from me now or anytime near in the future sorry for my big rants but i just feel like tumblr is so black n white on this issue when both aides are! stupid (obviously transmeds/truscum r worse but still!!! mogai tend to get me heated in a New Fun way).

sorry 4 word vomiting anon bit thanks 4 ur ask i wasnt sure if anyone would get where i was coming from n im glad u agree!!! thank u fr for sending tjis in. habe a good noght/day/whatever

#/discourse #the void it speaks #anon #answered #yea thanks for sending this in #i know seeing 'u need dusphoria to be trans' is usually like #a big red warning sign for transmed bullshittery #which i get #but like #im right #HAJDJCKDDKCKDKSKDKKCKD #and not a transmed lr truscum!!! teehee #i am... just cofrect #im so tired fim 2 pass out bye

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junhong-ah · 6 years

Text

[Yongguk] - Tell me the truth.

word count: 1,6k • characters: reader x yongguk • genre: angst • GIF CREDIT

16 - “I never meant to hurt you.” | 35 - “About the baby… Its yours.” | 119 - “Stop ignoring me…” › A night that changed everything. As much as you want to, you can no longer ignore him. You just need to talk to him, no matter how much it hurts. He has a right to the truth.

You were sitting on the bathroom floor, your face buried in your hands. Tears ran down your face as you still tried to realize what you just found out about. Your body was shaking while you were looking at the display of your pregnancy test. There was no doubt that you were in fact pregnant and maybe you should be happy about it, but there were too many reasons to be not – even though you wanted a child so badly.

Alone in your apartment, you spend half the day inside the bathroom literally not moving at all. You couldn't handle all of that and you just didn't know what to do now. That's why you let your emotions overwhelm you, crying like a baby for hours.

You flinched, as the doorbell rang out of a sudden. You didn't expect anyone so you tried to be quiet because you weren't in the mood for any kind of visit now.

That's when the doorbell rang again. Someone knocked on the door, calling your name softly. You nearly got a heart attack as you realized who stood outside of your apartment. It was Yongguk.

He knocked again, calling your name louder this time. His deep, intense voice send shivers down your spine, but you still didn't make a move, hoping he would leave soon. You couldn't handle to see him now, not after everything that happened between the two of you.

“Stop ignoring me...” he begged as he stopped knocking. “Please! I know you're home. I heard you!”

Shit.

That was the last thing you needed right now. You just wanted to be alone and you were glad your boyfriend wasn't at home right now. How could you know that Yongguk would visit you just now? But did you had a choice? He probably wouldn't leave until you opened him. You tried to ignore him since that night, so you didn't answer his calls, messages or mails at all, but you already feared he would come over at some point.

“Y/N? Please, we really need to talk about this!”

You sighed, fighting the new tears that came up. The last thing you wanted was him to see you cry, he shouldn't know what you really felt. Because it doesn't matter. It just can't.

“Coming”, you grunted, although you tried to act normal.

Slowly you stood up, feeling the blood rushing back into your shaky legs. You used some toilet paper to wipe away your tears, still trying to pull yourself together. A look in the mirror told you that it was nearly impossible to hide the fact that you cried. Your eyes were swollen and red, so Yongguk would see it anyway.

Nervously you opened the door to let him in. His eyes widened, as he saw you but he didn't say anything. He took off his shoes and followed you into the living room. Your heart was pounding and you had real trouble not to break into tears again.

“Do you want something to drink?” you asked politely, trying to avoid the actual conversation as long as possible.

Yongguk just shook his head, sitting down on your couch. He took a deep breath. “Why didn't you answer any of my calls?”

You cleared your throat as you sat down, too, making sure there was a big gap between the two of you. You barely couldn't look at him, how should you handle any physical contact? It was just impossible.

“You know why.”

“No, I don't” he replied instantly, shaking his head again. “I know things are... complicated, but we used to talk about everything. That shouldn't change, don't you think?”

For a moment there was just silent, while you thought about this. Usually he was right, but it wasn't that easy anymore. Not after everything that happened.

“We can't pretend like nothing happened, Yongguk. You know that!”

“I don't intend to. That's why I wanted to talk to you” he said softly, trying to prove he was still there for you.

“There's nothing to talk about.”

“Don't say that! We slept together, Y/N, that isn't nothing!” Although he tried to stay calm, you made him angry and sad at the same time. He didn't knew how to handle the situation either and he really needed to talk to you, but you just weren't there for him.

“Fine, then talk!” you shouted as you felt tears running down your cheeks again.

Yongguk took a deep breath, until he said something. He wasn't sure what to say since your sight just hurt him so badly. He couldn't stand the thought of hurting you but he knew he just did that. By sleeping with you although he knew you had a boyfriend, by ruining not only your friendship with that, but probably your whole life. And by sneaking out on you the next morning.

“I never meant to hurt you” he started as he stood up again, walking up and down the room. “It's just... I don't know how this could happen and that's why I sneaked out on you. I know you are with someone and I'm really sorry for messing that up, I never intended to. But I just don't wanna lose you, so -” He broke off, not knowing how to end this sentence. What did he even expect? It wasn't that easy as he wanted it to be.

You wiped away your tears, sniveling. “It's not just your fault” you replied honestly. That took two and you knew that already. That's what made it so horrible for you, you couldn't just blame him and move on with your life. Something seemed to be very wrong with your relationship, otherwise you never would've slept with him, right?

Silence again.

Your heart was still going crazy while you peeked at him, so you looked away. It felt like your insides cramped and you held your stomach, taking a deep breath. This all was too much for you so your body obviously was revolting.

The next moment you ran to the toilet so you were right on time as you threw up. You shut your eyes, hoping this would end soon. It was nearly impossible that your body was reacting that bad just because Yongguk was there.

It hit you like a train as you remembered, what the real reason for your sickness was. That's when the tears came up all over again.

Soon you felt soft hands reaching out for your hair to pull it together on your neck. Yongguk was here, trying to help you as good as he could. You vomited again, hoping he wouldn't guess what was wrong with you. But as the pregnancy test came into your mind again, it was too late.

He saw it laying on the bathroom floor and his eyes widened hugely as he realized what was happening here.

“Y-you're pregnant?”

Your stomach was settling so you slowly stood up again, avoiding any eye contact to him. You didn't say anything as it was pointless to deny.

“Is that why... you didn't talk to me all the time?”

You didn't answer, not knowing what to say at all. Actually you didn't want him to know about it since you didn't know if you would keep the baby, but now it was too late. You'd need to talk about it, no matter what you wanted or not.

“I'm happy for you” he said after there was silence again, smiling softly. “I know how badly you wanted this to happen.”

Your heart burst into a million pieces and you got sick all over again. But luckily you didn't need to threw up again. Nonetheless it hurt so much to hear that, you didn't even knew why. But it seemed as if he hadn't realized what this could mean. What it definitely meant, because you knew better than him!

As you broke out in tears again, Yongguk was just overwhelmed. What was wrong with you now? He didn't even thought about the fact that he could be the father of your unborn child. How could he, you just had sex once. The chance of being the father was very small – at least he thought it was.

“Yeah, uhm...” you choked and tried to stop crying. You sniveled a few times and had real trouble to speak clearly. “About the baby... It's yours.”

Yongguk squinted, holding on to the sink as he thought he would collapse. “W-what? That's.... impossible.” He was breathing heavily as he just couldn't believe it. “How could you know?”

You sighed and wiped away new tears. “I... I only slept with you the last weeks. There wasn't... anybody else.”

“But your boyfriend?!”

Shaking your head you just started to cry again. “He didn't touch me since everything's got so complicated. I just wanted to get pregnant so bad and for him it wasn't that important... like, at all.”

Without thinking about it Yongguk closed the gap between you to pull you into his arms. He had no clue your relationship already was that broken. You just haven't told him about it so how could he knew? But he understood you probably didn't want to talk about something tragic like this.

You just cried on his shoulder because all the stress was leaving your body. It felt good finally talking about all of this, even if you knew about your pregnancy literally since today.

“What are we going to do now?” you mumbled against his shoulder.

“I don't know” he answered honestly, making you snivel again. “But I know I'm not leaving you alone with this.”

He cupped you face with his hand, wiping away your tears with his thumbs. His hands raised your head softly so you could look at him. Yongguk smiled, trying to cheer you up.

“Together we will handle this, I'm sure of it.”

#bap #b.a.p #baplibrary #bap scenarios #bap imagines #bang yongguk #yongguk scenarios #yongguk imagines #you x yongguk #reader x yongguk #angst #yongguk angst

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pherryt · 7 years

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I have a prompt for you: Dean is in college and plans to move into a house with his "roommate" Cas. But his family wants to check out the place first. All seems to going well until Dean tells them he wants to rent out 4 of 5 bedrooms and his little brother Adam asks "Where do you sleep?" It's okay if you don't want to do it but just let me know either way.

Sooooo....i was out all day, but I just finished it - at 1539 words...there’s some angst but happy ending :D Hope you like it!______

College was great.

Dean never thoughtCollege was for him, but here he was. Not only was he doing well in hisclasses, but he had made some of the best friends in his life ever. Honestly,he had no idea what he would have done if he’d never met Benny or Charlie….

Or Castiel. Dean smiledjust thinking about them.

Of course, College was great, but the dorms were hell. So now that they were in their third year and were now‘qualified’ to live in off campus housing (seriously, how was that a thing? Howdid they justify forcing everyone into dorm housing when some of the students lived in town, or were 40 year old’s with kidsof their own? The answer was, they didn’t. So why did everyone else fall intothat criteria? What the hell was up with that?) Dean was jumping at the chanceto move in with Cas.

Cas, of course, had itall planned out. The house was big enough that it had multiple rooms of decentsize, and several general areas that could be used by a small handful of peoplefor study sessions and movie or game nights. And since it would be their place,they could set the rules.

And they could rent outthe extra rooms for cash to help afford the place and it would wind up beingcheaper than dorm housing for everyone else in the long run.

Win/win.

Armed with a plan, Deanwent home for the summer and started packing. Because damned if he was gonna befaced with all that extra room and privacy and not take advantage of it.

Dad and Kate seemed toagree with the plan too – because anything that saved money in the long run wasa good idea. But it turned out they didn’t want to sign off on it completelytill they had a chance to check it out themselves.

With a roll of his eyes,Dean made arrangements and the five of them headed up early with his stuffspread out in two cars. Castiel was already there and waiting when they arrivedand Dean leaped out of the car, running up the sidewalk and pulling the otherman into a long hug.

“Missed ya, Cas,” Deansmiled as he let go.

“I couldn’t tell,”Castiel grinned back, before letting out a soft, “so did I.” That nobody elseheard. Unpacking was put on hold as Castiel told Dean to go right ahead andgive a tour while he made sure lunch was ready.

Dean’s Dad and hisstepmother. as well as his two brothers, eagerly crowded around Dean. Sam andAdam with an eye toward excitement while John and Kate looked at the house withthe more critical eye of an experienced home owner.

“So we’re standing inthe living room, that’s the kitchen, there’s a bathroom over there and accessto the basement here,” Dean started leading them through each room as he namedthem, or pointing at the doors leading to other areas. “The downstairs bedroomhere at the back,” Dean pushed at the already open door, Castiel’s bags andboxes already in evidence before leading back down the hall to the stairway tothe second floor. “And we have four more bedrooms up here.”

“This place is…ratherspacious,” Kate noted as she peered into each one. “Why do you need so manyrooms?”

“Oh, well, Cas and Iplan to rent all the upstairs rooms to our friends. They’re just as sick of thedorm life as we are.”

Kate raised an eyebrowand exchanged a look with John, but Dean missed it as Sam spoke up, “Are thereany other rooms?”

“No, why do you ask?”

Adam blinked and turnedaway from peering into one of the echoingly empty rooms to look at Dean withconfusion. “But where are you gonnasleep?”

“I already showed you,”Dean noted with a defensive tone to his voice. Shit, he’d slipped up. He knewthis had been going too well.

“Son, the only otherbedroom you showed us was already occupied.” John said slowly.

“Yeah,” Dean nodded, watchinghis father warily.

“Is that where you’resleeping, sweetheart?” Kate asked with wide eyes, “In that….that room that yourfriend…” she trailed off. Dean stared at his family with a sinking stomach andswallowed hard. He’d never actually come out to them as bi. He wanted to. God,he’d wanted to for a while now, but he was never quite certain how they’d takeit.

“Y-yeah,” Dean took a deep breath. Might as well just ripit all off like a band-aid. “Me and Cas are a thing. I mean, we’re together.Been dating since last year. And he’s sweet and he’s awesome and he’s smart andhe makes me a better person and if you have a problem with that – “

Dean’s voice rose in pitch with almost every word, thewords tumbling out of his mouth with no filter, out of control, as if now thathe’d opened the floodgates, everything was determined to be out there.

“Son, stop – “

Dean’s breathing grew ragged and his eyes grew blurry, “-and if you have a problem…then…then…”

“Dean?” Cas’s welcome voice came from behind Dean and ahand gripped his shoulder. “Dean, are you all right?” With a shudder, Deanturned and allowed himself to be wrapped in Cas’s arms, trying to get himselfunder control, to stop the flood of tears that had started.

Cas held him tight and glared over Dean’s shoulder at thewide eyed and stunned faces of his family, “What did you say to him?”

“I…nothing!” John protested, taken aback by the vehemencein Cas’s tone. Cas tucked Dean’s head into his neck and threaded his fingersinto Dean’s spikey hair soothingly, while the other wrapped more firmly aroundDean’s lower back. Cas sighed.

“I came up here to tell you that lunch was ready. You allmust be hungry after a long drive so, why don’t you go down and eat and I’lltalk to Dean, see if we can get this sorted out.”

“But – “ John started to protest again, confusion andconcern evident on his face. Kate touched his arm and murmured to him and hedeflated, nodding. She waved Sam and Adam down the stairs and followed afterwith a last, considering look at Cas and Dean.

As soon as they were out of earshot, Cas kissed the side ofDean’s head and leaned their heads together, fingers still threading throughthe spikes. “Dean, what happened? What’s wrong? Can you tell me, love?”

“I…I...” Dean shuddered against Cas and clutched at him,“I’m sorry, I’m just…I’m overreacting. I…may have accidentally came out andthen I…word vomited, you know how I get and then, well, they didn’t say anything and I panicked and...”Castiel felt the dampness on his shirt as Deans’ tears continued to flow,“Fuck, what if…what if they can’t accept that I’m bi? Cas, what am I gonna do?They’re my family. I love ‘em, man. But I love you too,” he whispered.

“Sshhh, Dean,” Cas soothed, “I think you just took them bysurprise, okay sweetheart? When you calm down, and you’re ready, we can gocheck on them, together. I promise. Whatever happens, I’ll be there. Rememberthat, okay? I love you too, Dean.”

“We love you too, Dean, and if Cas is important to you,then he’s important to us too,” Kate’s voice took them both by surprise. Ittook all of Cas’s self-control not to jump at the sudden presence of Dean’sparents, John chiming in after Kate,

“I’m sorry, Dean. I didn’t mean to make you feel like youcouldn’t talk to us, son. Cas is right – you just took us by surprise. If Iwere honest with myself, I can’t say I haven’t been expecting something likethis for a few years now. It honestly doesn’t matter to me, to us. Just as long as you’re happy andsafe.”

Dean sniffled and raised his head to peer over Cas’sshoulder, to find his whole family (Adam and Sam were trying to poke out frombehind their parents and were nodding vigorously) crowded in at the top of thestairs where they’d obviously hidden to listen in. Normally, he’d be upset atsuch blatant eavesdropping and invasion of privacy, but now he’d take it.

He lurched a little and Cas let go, trailing a hand overDean’s back in support as his boyfriend took a hesitating step towards hisfamily. Kate didn’t hesitate for an instant and wrapped him up in a hug nearlyas snug as Cas’s had been.

Soon, Dean was enveloped in the arms of all his family, awelcome, though a bit awkward, group hug. He laughed wetly, wiping at his eyes,as he realized they didn’t care. They accepted this part of him as well.

The icing on his cake, of course, was when Kate gestured atCas and included him too, none of his family hesitating to draw him right into thethick of things beside Dean, and a weight that Dean hadn’t even fully realizedhe’d been carrying finally eased away.

#300 words or less #prompts #destiel #college #supernatural au #coming out #longkissgoodnightbatmanandtwofac

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stevethehairington · 6 years

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9. Any underrated Avenger? Any overrated Avenger?10. Which Avenger deserved better and why? 13. Which MCU movie did you think was going to be disappointing but it’s now one of your faves?14. Any theories about what will happen in Infinity War 2? 17. What is your opinion about Captain Marvel becoming the face of the MCU after Infinity War 2? (you don't have to answer all of them....)

Marieeee

9. Any underrated Avenger? Any overrated Avenger?

Ooh I definitely think Thor is one hella underrated Avenger. A lot of people, myself included, see Thor as this boring, super proper kind of dude, and this is mostly thanks to the first two Thor movies. But Thor is literally so much more than that. He’s funny, and deep, and likable, and he’s so fucking kickass too. Like honestly, bless Taika Waititi for showing us the real Thor and giving his character depth. Watching Ragnarok and Infinity War easily kicked Thor up to one of my top faves when he was sitting pretty low on the list before.

As for overrated, well, Cap and Iron Man are probably the most popular Avengers and tbh I think that’s pretty well deserved. They both are super complex characters with a lot a lot of depth to them and a lot a lot of story. Despite the fact that they’re the most popular, I wouldn’t necessarily say they’re overrated. Tbh, I don’t really think any of the Avengers are overrated.

10. Which Avenger deserved better and why?

Omg. You might regret asking me this. Asklfdkgf. A lot of them deserved better for specific reasons, but there is no one who deserved better more than my main man Anthony Edward Stark. This man has been through hell and back and so much worse. He had a father who didn’t much care for him; he had to live in the shadow of Captain America, who his father adored; he was taken care of and raised mostly by the family butler; both of his parents died, which he later found out wasn’t because of a car crash but was because they were murdered by Steve’s best friend, aka assassin extraordinaire and this particular piece of info was kept hidden from him by Steve who he trusted; he was kidnapped and nearly died there; his mentor and friend Obadiah Stane completely betrayed him and then tried to kill him; he unleashed Ultron on the world, which came from a good place originally but backfired and failed so terribly (he took responsibility for it all ofc); most recently he lost Peter Parker right in front of his very eyes, the kid he promised to keep safe and failed to do so; and he suffers from PTSD to top it all off. I think the Avengers don’t realize who exactly Tony is, what he’s come from, and what he can do. And I don’t think a lot of the fans realize this either. I could sit here and literally write an entire essay about why Tony Stark is a Good Man and why people are so blind to that fact, but I’ll save you from that by just saying this: A lot of people don’t look past the arrogant, sarcastic, asshole-y persona he projects (which is in part a defense mechanism) and they see him at face value, but Tony Stark is one of the most, if not the most complex Marvel character there is and he deserves so much more than just people seeing what’s skin deep.

13. Which MCU movie did you think was going to be disappointing but it’s now one of your faves?

Hmm. Well, I remember when I first saw the trailer for Thor: Ragnarok and I remember thinking “hey, this looks like it could be good” but I was a bit hesitant to set my expectations too high because lbr the first two Thor movies are not the greatest. But oh my god I loved the heck out of Ragnarok and it’s easily one of my favorites, definitely in my Top 3 Faves.

14. Any theories about what will happen in Infinity War 2?

Oh god yes. So many. I have no idea if any of them are true and I’m not ready to find out sfkldhg. I’ve seen so many different theories about whether Loki is actually dead or if he’s still alive and tbh both sides have some compelling arguments so I honestly don’t know where I stand on that part. But if he is still alive he could have a very important role in all of this.

Another theory that I hate hate hate hate hateeeee so much is something to do with Steve Rogers. And death. (nononononono). We all know he’s one self-sacrificing son of a bitch and seeing Red Skull return had red flags going up e v e r y w h e r e. Because Red Skull was Captain America’s first villain, and I’m convinced that they’re going to be reunited again at some point (not looking forward to that) and because Red Skull was the one on Vormir collecting the soul for a soul. We already know that time travel is going to be a Big Thing in IW2 and I just have this really bad feeling that Steve might try to get the Soul Stone and sacrifice his life for it. I really hate that so much because I don’t want Steve to die at all. I just want him to retire with Bucky and the two of them go about their happy lives together.

And then there’s Tony Stark. So many theories about him as well, and his potential death. (again, nononononono). I don’t have any set and stone theories on how he might die but I know that it’s a very real possibility that I’m not ready for. Just seeing him get stabbed alone had me bawling like a baby, I can’t even imagine how much of a mess I’d be if he actually died. (God I’m starting to tear up just thinking about it)

Obviously Captain Marvel is going to come save the day, or help save it so that’s going to be pretty cool, and I’ve heard some things about how Ant-Man is going to have a bigger role potentially in IW2 and the Quantum Realm might play a big role so I’m excited to see all of that!

17. What is your opinion about Captain Marvel becoming the face of the MCU after Infinity War 2?

I’ll definitely be sad to see the end of such a stellar, fantastic, incredible, historical, (the adjectives could go on lol) era, but I’m excited for the future of the MCU and I’m excited to see Captain Marvel in action and see just what she’s capable of!

God, I talk too much haha. Sorry I word vomited my answers and rambled so much lol. Thank you again for the ask! Love youuu

#asks #marvel asks #naescar #marvel #mack rambles

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