#this is incredibly random and completely self indulgent

[booksonlyburninhell]

Dating Baby Saja HCs (SFW)

Felt like adding my 2 cents to Baby's characterization. Here's hoping there's a sequel or prequel that adds to the boys.

Some theories I'll be aligning with for this is that the saja boys (not Jinu) are the same boys from the shady dr.'s office photo, meaning they're younger demons who were already a struggling band before coming to work under Gwi-Ma.

His OG wish was to be famous with his friends, but it's. . . boring? Exhausting? He's not sure how to explain it but unless he's actively performing he's too emotionally tired to care about the fans anymore. Something about performing to people he's going to eat takes all the noy out of it. His only real energy comes from hanging with his friends and you, even if your time together is mostly naps since Jinu runs them so ragged with all their performances.

He lost most of his sense of taste after becoming a demon, so spicy food is his favorite since it's one of the few flavors he can taste. That is until he rediscovers candy. Be prepared to constantly have suckers, lollipops, and tootsie rolls on you because this boy be snack'n.

He genuinely loves performing, but creating songs ment to drag more people to hell isn't fulfilling. He'll work on little personal pieces (sometimes rap, sometimes not) and show them to you, but refuses to show the group in fear they get used in service of Gwi-Ma.

His spare time is limited, but when he's free he REFUSES to talk about work. No dancing or costumes. If you know he's a demon he'll shed the human disguise too. He wants to watch funny videos and cuddle with you and not think about returning to hell. He'll still sing sometimes under his breath, or some random beat will make him talk in a near-rap (faster with a loose rhythm, but not really fast enough to be called singing) for a bit. It's habit at thise point.

Which brings me to my hot take, Baby does not match his baby persona for the band. At least he didn't before the demon deal. The fact that he does now is a complete coincidence. Irl he was cocky and mischievous but also incredibly shy and introverted. Meme lord supreme over here, and is the only one in the group who knew/used Reddit. Looking back he feels like a try hard who clearly didn't know what he wanted in life.

After the deal though he started indulging in human life like his life depended on it. Soft fabrics instead of leather and metal, sweets instead of sinner's souls. He'll happy perform to keep his luxuries, and he barely speaks anyway so playing the baby of the group is fine with him. (Yes he's the smallest and the youngest and loves piggie back rides but don't tell anyone ok?)

He's the lyricist and yes his puns are intentional. He's constantly whispering jokes to you in private, even if you're alone. Hell is surprisingly loud and crowds aren't his thing, but he wants his jokes heard regardless. Sarcasm and deadpan jokes are his favorites. If you two witness anything even remotely funny together his lips will be at your ear in seconds, trying to make you laugh.

His guilt and shame stem from using his lyrical talents for ads or stuff he was never passionate about. Being a star was never his goal, just expressing himself with his friends. He didn't care that they weren't successful until he fell into poverty, then performing for cash became his everything. Now though he's falling in love with music again, and having you as his only "real fan" helps.

He switches between the blanket and the little spoon when cuddling, depending on how self conscious he's feeling about being "the baby" that day.

He absolutely REFUSES to let the group know you exist. Everyone knows about how Jinu is dating stalking Rumi and joke about it relentlessly. Gwi-Ma forbid they found out about you. He loves his friends, but Baby will keep you to himself thank you very much.

His shame is the biggest problem in the relationship honestly. His wish was to make money, to be so famous he would never want for anything else again. So his shame is the inverse. He's the least popular of the Saja Boys, the least shipped with people, the least loved.

The voices whisper to him constantly about him not deserving any of it. He didn't care when he was alive, not really, so why would anyone care about him now? It haunts him a little, and in these moments he'll try to push you away. He doesn't deserve you or your affection, not when being with him might drag you to the other side of the Honmoon. Still you hold him in these moments, cradle him in your arms and pepper him with kisses. It quiets the voices a little.

Basically make sure you shower this boy in love when you can. Words of affirmation and quality time are the best combatants to his shame.

He loves you so so much. In all his indulgences are yours if you want them. Wear his clothes, eat his food, he doesn't mind. He makes you pay for it in kisses.

You are forbidden from listening to the Saja Boys music. They are literally siren songs meant to pull in souls and you are not allowed to be their fan. You listened to SodaPop ONCE when you two met and never again. He actively refuses to let you come to a single concert or signing. At first you don't understand why your boyfriend doesn't want your support, but the second he trusts you with his true nature you avoid his group like the plague. Drowning out Saja Boys with other Kpop or even rock and metal music helps you stay in control of yourself.

You two met at one of the Saja Boys pop-up performances. He noticed you in particular because you were the only one not dancing to SodaPop, not until his rap section. Then you stopped when it did. The rest of the song sounded too much like an ad jingle to you. Too much like a purposeful earworm.

Still the idea that someone liked his piece and only his piece sent him spiraling. Like you were his fan, not a member of the pride. He immediately understood why some bands broke up and went solo. The personalized affection was like a drug, and he started seeking you out at every popup.

He didn't find you. At least not until he'd given up. It was an other coincidence actually. Baby had been walking through his old neighborhood. He'd just wanted one last look at his first apartment, the one where he'd survived off ramen and chips and spent hours practicing with his friends. Lo and behold you were the new tenant, decorating the place in a way that Baby never would have thought to, but still hiding your spare key in the same spot by the door. You talked for hours, bonding over snacks, the apartments little oddities (one of the windows is painted shut, why you two have no idea). Baby was smitten.

You both work to keep your relationship secret, if for no other reason than the fans might tear your head off for dating a Kpop star. That and his band members might eat you. That one in all honesty is a good reason.

An average date will start with him strolling into your apartment like he owns it (since he did once) and flopping down on your bed or couch. He'll vent for a bit before realizing he sounds like an imposition and go quiet. You'll feed him and kiss him and it'll slowly coax him into speaking again. Then you get to decide what you actually do together. If you can ever pry yourselves out of your cuddle knot that is.

[fatalhoon]

jaemin headcanons — how he would treat you on your period

warnings | menstruation obviously, one (1) swear word, a tiny smidge of a mention of nsfw

a.n | felt like i was dying at work today because my cramps were so bad so this is purely self indulgent lmao

you absolutely cannot convince me that jaemin isnt the absolute sweetest mf to you when you’re on your period

he for sure has a tracker app on his phone so he knows when exactly you’re supposed to start

he makes sure that the bedsheets are clean around that time so you can snuggle up into a nice clean bed

your every wish is his command, and he won’t make you do anything you don’t feel like doing

but one thing he will make sure that you do is eat enough healthy foods and drink enough water (not that he doesn’t do that all the time, but this week is the most important)

he always has the fridge and pantry stocked with the ingredients for your favorite meals and snacks so he can make them for you

he doesn’t care if its the most convoluted recipe he’s ever seen in his life, or even if he has to drive however long it takes to get to your favorite random takeout place

he will make absolutely sure that you have your favorite food

he’s so incredibly gentle and understanding with you, and he’s exactly what you need

he knows every month is different from the last but he can always read the room

if you feel clingy, then he won’t let you go

if you want your space, then he keeps the distance he knows you need, but he’s still just a room away in case you call out to him for anything at all

even if you’re having a particularly bad day and there’s a chance that you might snap at one of your friends or coworkers, you’ve never snapped at jaemin because he just knows exactly what to say and do

if you have to work the day it hits or the day its the heaviest, he makes sure he’s at home so he can be there when you finish your day

sometimes you’ll come back home and you’ll be okay, maybe on a good day where your body decided to give you a break or the pain meds you took really just did their job

other days though, you’ll open the door with a frown on your face, your eyes welling up with tears because the day was so long and nothing was going right and you’re just in so much fucking pain

he immediately leads you inside, helping you take off all your clothes and running a bath for you, complete with all of your favorite bubbles or muscle relaxing salts

jaemin must have an internal thermometer or something because the bath water is always right, never too hot or too cold

he’ll sit in the tub behind you so you can lean back against him while he softly scrubs shampoo into your hair and massages your scalp

he presses little kisses to your cheeks or shoulders or back every time he hears you sniffle, and he’ll give you his undivided attention if you decide to tell him about your day

theres a bottle of cold water right next to the tub for him to grab whenever you bend forward from a wave of pain; he rubs your arms or your thighs softly until it subsides, and brings the straw up to your lips for you

“you’re okay, baby, take a drink” and after you take a few gulps he’ll set it down and pat your flushed face with a cold fluffy cloth

if you’re up for doing your skincare, he’ll do it for you with you

he’ll brush your hair up into a ponytail and/or put on your matching fuzzy bunny eared headbands

he’ll wash your face for you with your cleanser, and his gentle fingers will smooth the face cream down your nose and across your cheeks (he likes to squish your cheeks together and kiss your pouty lips to make you giggle)

if it isn’t obvious by now, jaemin doesn’t let you lift a finger

after drying you off and getting you dressed up in his comfy clothes, the heating pad is already warmed up and ready for you on the bed

and i’ll just say it, i know what you’re thinking

no, jaemin is not at all opposed to helping you out if you’re feeling particularly.. needy

he didn’t necessarily mean to stumble upon the fact that orgasms help with period cramps

he was just researching ways to help you feel more comfortable

but he is more than willing to do whatever you want whenever you want, so this of course is not an exception

“jaem, i’m literally bleeding down there”

“yeah and?? we have towels”

he’s not trying to pressure you into doing anything you aren’t up for

he just wants you to know that anything he can do to make you feel better, he’s 100% willing to do, no questions asked

[ember-owlet]

so random question but what dog breed(s) would you associate w/ vi or think she regresses to (in the context of a dog regressor) asking 4 a friend

eee thank you so much for asking!! oh man i've had so many ideas for puppy vi for the last three years (and being completely honest its so tied to my own canine regression that i think it'll be impossible not to make this at least a little self-indulgent).

the tamaskan dog!! looks like a wolf but is actually a fairly friendly breed,, reminds me of vi trying to put on a dangerous front but in reality, is extremely loyal and sweet. (the third image is her resting after a full day of being mama's/caitlyn's guard dog). i assign this breed to her pitfighter era as they are misunderstood at face value but just really big softies under the surface.

i believe this is the right term but after seeing saint bernard/bernese mountain dog mixes i've fallen in love thinking about vi in her softer moments,, like this is the same look,, prove me wrong. always determined to be helpful and will brave even the harshest weather to complete her goals. also do not underestimate the cute face they are incredibly strong physically and mentally. /lh

and to end strong,, this is extremely biased of me and might not make a lick of sense but being so connected to this particular breed she just IS a great pyrenees to me,, we are one in the same,, this one i could ramble on forever but it is the other two choices perfectly balanced in one breed. they're incredibly gentle and loving to those who earn their trust (be it their own pack or other animals/humans) but can be fiercely protective and vicious when it comes to keeping those they love safe or under their care. despite their "cute" appearance they aren't afraid to get their paws dirty and can make friends with just about anyone when given the chance to open up,, and will go to the ends of the earth to those who see their good nature and extend them kindness,, like please hear me out i think about vi as large dogs/gentle giants and specifically a great pyrenees all the time.

[shenrickyz]

AKOGARE

WHERE love can be anything, and to jisung, it appears that love is seojun.

FEATURING ─ ksj, pjs, nct dream ensemble. WARNINGS ─ sleep deprivation, overworking, and taking medication. WORD COUNT ─ 5.7k NOTES ─ hi.. back with another coty (couple of the year) post that isn't plot and is simply my detailed appreciation for them despite the fact that one of them is indeed not real 😊😊 i miss seojun.. and also im jisung biased, and also this is incredibly self indulgent, i could write an essay on them, on their dynamic, on random details about their relationship that no one cares for 🙁 i hold them very very dearly to my heart 🫶 if your wondering, no, there will never be no seoji left over to write, nominate them for the coty awards please ☺️

jisung likes to think he's somewhat of a seojun encyclopedia.

it's not that he's obsessive or is constantly grilling the older for spontaneous factoids, jisung simply listens, that really is the staple of their relationship. seojun talks and jisung listens, occasionally it might be vice versa, but it usually never is.

it also isn't as if seojun tells everyone everything about him, if you strip away his natural sense of exuberance, he's a pretty private guy. jisung just has a great deal of knowledge because of their flurry of late night secret sharing as well as the acute focus he seems to have for everything.. well, him.

there's a lot to seojun that is as basic as it is easy to understand. he usually likes darker shades of colors, not exactly black, but he prefers dimmer shades of blue and grey. he adores shades of white reminiscent of snowfall, seojun loves snow, his pupils always dilate as if he's a child seeing it for the first time.

there are many things seojun likes, the word 'like' is a weak term for the passion he has for each of them in particular though. he likes your usual things; strawberries, snow, skiing, renjun's dumb cardigans, motorcycles, penguins, old martial arts movies, charm bracelets, things that any person could easily derive if they simply stare idly for almost hours in the same manner jisung does.

and it's not that jisung enjoys staring at seojun for practically hours on end, he just can't help himself. seojun doesn't have to do anything fantastic, he can just sit around and make a shitty joke that wouldn't usually get laughs, yet jisung would stare fascinated.

it's like an itch, a terrible habit that he just can't get rid of no matter how much he tries. maybe he doesn't want to, it isn't as if he's good at hiding his habit, he simply can't help when it happens.

he knows that seojun knows, seojun is terrifyingly observant, he's clocked things about jisung that he himself doesn't even register for a while. he finds the older weirdly frightening in some senses..

but jisung loves seojun either way.

knowing someone for almost eleven years makes you pretty much susceptible to the specific habits they perform. they range from the usual hair tugging, fiddling with jewelry, scratching at his arms, and always, always pulling all nighters.

which is why today, this prospect is strange.

seojun falls asleep before jisung.

okay, he isn't asleep yet, he's just lying on jisung's lap with his eyes closed, not exactly asleep, but he could slip at literally any time.

jisung first noticed something was up when the older wasn't his usual energetic self after their concert wrapped up. he hung out backstage with his head kept down, uncharacteristic silence taking over him.

"are you okay?" jisung recalls inquiring, lightly nudging him with his shoulder. the older offered a lazy smile as he nodded, a small breath leaving his lips.

"yeah, just a little tired, i'm happy the first day was successful".

jisung was able to believe that for a while,

well not until seojun completely passed out on top of him after they got home.

but seojun isn't asleep just yet, he simply lays there on jisung's lap. the strange exhaustion doesn't go past him, but how does he bring up that it's weird for seojun to be tired? every idol in some way shape or form is tired. jisung is tired currently.

"hey, is everything okay?"

seojun cracks one eye open, clearing his throat. "tired".

"well obviously but you never sleep before me" jisung states, swallowing down nothing as the older simply sighs, keeping himself in the same place. seojun's hair is soft, and jisung can't help but run his fingers through the strands.

seojun's eyes again flutter shut, he makes himself comfortable in the other's lap. jisung continues staring down, and seojun chuckles knowingly.

"can you stop looking at me like that?"

jisung's eyes narrow. "i'm just pretty confused by this.."

seojun rolls over, laying on his back as he stares up at jisung. he pinches the bridge of his nose, again sighing. "it's my new medication" he mutters.

jisung blinks, and seojun waves a dismissive hand in the air. "it tires me out quickly because seorin says my sleeping problems make me look dead".

"i mean.. is she wrong?"

seojun swats a hand his way, and jisung is only graciously able to dodge such a move because he's above the older. "anyway, i'm loopy, can't even feel my limbs".

"is that a side effect?"

"no the side effect is exhaustion" his eyes again flutter closed, no sign of an upcoming smile on his face.

jisung stares as if the older just grew two his heads, but seojun doesn't see that, he simply rolls over again to make himself comfortable lying on the other. "good night".

"you can't sleep on me".

seojun seems offended by such a prospect, he snorts. "just for the time being?"

"let me move you".

seojun would decline to such an offer if this was any other regular day where he was pulling any other regular all nighter, but it isn't, so he silently agrees with a small hum.

how strange.

jisung doesn't exactly ask the correct question, though.

—

seojun loathes taking medication.

it's actually amazing if anyone can get him to swallow pills in the first place. if there is anything the older is, it's stubborn.. and also completely terrified of swallowing pills. 'they make him feel sick' he likes to say.

not even jisung can convince him enough every time, and jisung could pretty much convince seojun into anything with enough pleading and blinking of his huge eyes.

anxiety is the main culprit, he's been on medication for it since before his debut. again, he absolutely hates it. jisung would also say he's scared but he gets extremely defensive about that part because he describes himself as "fearless" (or he's just terrified of no one seeing him as such).

seojun stares at the bottle full of tablets, nose scrunching as he pushes it forward. "i'm not taking this".

there's that usual hikari sigh, the older leveling at seojun with a stare bordering on disappointment.

it was right before we young era that antidepressants came into the mix. seojun took the whole parent approach to it, how could he be depressed when he was easily the cheeriest member? it made absolutely no sense!

jisung could only stare.

"seojun, don't make this difficult".

seojun crosses his arms, stubbornness through the roof. "it'll make me tired! or dizzy! what if i trip during practice?"

"i'm sure that won't be the case".

jisung has never seen the once burning gaze seojun shared with hikari in that moment ever again, he gets a specific kind of obedient when it comes to him in specific, but that day, that day there just seemed to be something different in the air.

"you don't know everything".

it was the bite back that also happened to be the final blow, as hikari sucked his teeth, tugging at his shirt, exhausted out of his mind. "fine, we can talk about it in the morning".

seojun didn't even attempt a glance.

"what's the problem?"

jisung couldn't help but whisper, it felt like he was afraid of something, and he really has no idea what it might've been, but it was a lingering afterthought.

seojun paused for a moment before picking up the bottle, shaking it back and forth. "it's stupid, i don't want to take it".

it's stupid, strange choice of words.

jisung blinked, contemplating his response with a frown stuck to his face. "you're scared".

seojun scoffed, attempting a display of bravery with all his fifteen year old timidity shining through. "no i'm not".

the words were clearly offensive, the knitting of his eyebrows gave him away.

jisung kept his arguments to himself, instead taking a different approach. "you heard hiki hyung, you have to take them".

"i don't want to".

"then how do you expect to feel better?"

"i don't.. it doesn't matter".

it does to me, and to everyone else, i want you to be happy, why don't you?

the words died down in jisung's throat, nothing but his own fear displayed by the glance of his eyes. "please?"

seojun froze, as if almost perturbed by jisung being worried for him. he turned up his nose and decided the stubborn route was the way to go, as if he could ever deny anything jisung handed his way. "no".

jisung knew he was getting somewhere by that point, this time, his 'no' was less assured, a good sign. he braced his hands onto the counter, gaze focused on the bottle. seojun eyes narrowed, his face scrunching up into something ugly. "do you really think i'm gonna just take it because you said please?"

he really gave himself away with that one.

that's when jisung realized his.. privilege, his power over seojun that he didn't exactly check until the older muttered those words that one night. his lips twitched in a manner he couldn't exactly explain. "come on.. please?"

he took both of seojun's hands into his own, watching as the older tensed for a moment. "hey, i'll be here, i can help, i know you don't really like.. this".

there's a loud sigh, seojun immediately averting his gaze, suddenly very interested in the kitchen cupboards. the older contemplated, avoiding eye contact with the bottle of tablets on the counter as well as the maknae.

"can you stop looking at me like that?"

"i'll stop when you take your medication".

seojun crinkled his nose, but the defiance slowly slipped from his expression. bingo, jisung got him right where he needed to.

"just for today, and if it doesn't work then we can go back and ask, i'll go with you even!"

seojun's face finally fell for one last time, and he sighed. "fine",

jisung smiled.

"just stop being so annoying" his smile stayed fixed, even as the other slipped their intertwined fingers out of each other's grasp.

jisung offered a snicker. it didn't exactly matter if he was being 'annoying' anyway, he still got what he wanted.

and maybe if there happened to be the ghost of a grin there, seojun didn't plan on divulging it.

seojun's relationship with affection is usual.

and by 'usual', jisung just means he controls it better than someone like haechan. seojun loves hugs, loves kisses, gift giving, cooking for people, taking care of people (discreetly though), slyly matching items, all the regular.

jisung has never been that keen, but seojun has an astounding effect, as he's found it mundane to receive, and even respond to affection from the older.

jisung can best describe seojun's affection as.. soft. not rough hugs reminiscent of jeno's bone crushing ones, but simply solacing hugs, the kind that the maknae feels as if he could easily fall asleep in.

he longs for hugs from seojun, in the strangest way possible, they erase all of the unease, allow for him to let out a very needed breath of fresh air, let him relax after a days worth of stress.

there's also kisses, cheeks, foreheads, hands, occasionally the side of the neck (though those went out of fashion, jisung isn't sure why he misses them as much as he does), they aren't as regular as hugs or fleeting touches on the waist, but they do come up from time to time.

they always catch jisung off guard, seojun has never exactly been predictable in any way, and spontaneous kisses simply add to that.

but of course, it's not all the time. kissing is really the strangest gesture of affection with seojun, because for all of the love he has towards the members, kissing is as rare as it is minuscule, something seojun has never commented on.

(and don't tell anyone, but jisung just awaits for the next time they randomly spring up on him once again).

seojun looks awfully pretty during dive into you, it's.. it's simply something jisung can't explain. he can't resist the urge to knock their knees together, it's his nudge to something, he isn't exactly sure what 'something' might be, but something is good enough for the vague feeling he has.

they can't exactly whisper while on stage, so they communicate between judging eyes. a sneaky hand coming around to pinch the side of his waist, just barely squeezing a wince out of jisung, but he manages to keep his composure enough that all he receives are strange (yet knowing) glances from the members.

and what are they doing exactly? jisung has no idea, he just knows that it's nice. it's nice to catch a glance at seojun up close, the makeup artists did a good job with accentuating his pretty features, even if jisung feels that he'd be just fine without all of it caking his face. his hair has always been pretty, jisung will fight anyone who brings a pair of scissors near it, it's perfect the way it is. the barrage of golden jewelry wrapped both around his neck and his wrists simply amplify under the overly heated stage lights cascaded above.

jisung admires for a bit too long, so long that he almost forgets a few of his lines. watching him shake back into singing is amusing to seojun, if his cute little smiles aren't enough to sell that one.

jisung lets himself nestle closer, comfortably holding onto the older, whose always been good at multitasking.

"even the moonlight glowing on your cheek is annoying me" seojun sings, fingers softly scratching at the material of his outfit. "i wanna be closer to you than that.." a thumb slides across his cheek. "closer".

his smile remains as he brings jisung's hand closer to press a kiss atop his knuckles, slipping by quickly and missing the maknae's reaction to such a prospect.

his eyes widen immediately as his cheeks betray the serenity he attempts to make face with, mind scrambled. did he just—

seojun busies himself trying to get jeno and jaemin to crack, feigning obliviousness to jisung's current inner turmoil. he manages to avoid glances, trying his best to think clearly about it all.

except he can't not think about it.

the last time seojun kissed jisung in any way was at the ending ment of the dream show, jisung was practically choking on his sobs, just barely able to register the older pressing kisses to his forehead, he was afraid of losing dream, and seojun did the only thing he knew to do, the only thing on his mind being to comfort the youngest.

and yeah, that was like three years ago, curse jisung for keeping track of something like that but he just finds it surprising.

not surprising in a bad way, again, it's about the unpredictability of it all.

maybe unpredictability is apart of his charm.

he itches to bring it up, but he keeps quiet when he glances over at seojun and the older offers his pretty smile. so he allows for silence to consume him until everyone disperses and he can find a comfortable time to talk about it.

"what was that?" he's finally able to ask in the dead of night, face buried into the cotton of seojun's pajama shirt. "earlier during the show.."

seojun raises an eyebrow. "what? you have to be more specific".

jisung's face scrunches, seojun just wants him to say it, the stupid smile on his lips says it all. he shies away from the older's eyes, suddenly flustered as a red tint blushes against his skin. seojun chuckles in his usual all knowing manner, much too acclimated with jisung's particular peculiarities.

the maknae clears his throat, attempting to make his blush unnoticeable. "the kiss.."

"the what? speak up".

jisung grumbles something under his breath, lightly pushing seojun as he crosses his arms. seojun is completely amused, his smile distracting jisung from his lethargic demeanor.

it's terrible, it shouldn't effect him as much. seojun is simply smiling, no makeup, exhaustion behind his eyes, a shirt that's just a little big for him (ordering mistake, he was definitely on an hour of sleep when he decided to get it). jisung is angry, there's no need for him to look so pretty, right before they're about to go to sleep..

"the kiss, on my hand, during dive into you?"

"ohhhh" seojun's feigned confusion is irritating, if jisung wasn't jisung, he would've totally aimed for a punch at the shoulder. "that? your asking me about it now?"

jisung opts to nodding silently. "don't know, guess i was just a little surprised".

"your reactions are priceless, it's so easy to get you red!"

"stop pinching me, you're so—"

"annoying? okay, sure" seojun crosses his arms and lets go of jisung, feigning irritation at the unsaid words. jisung sucks his teeth, drawing a small snort from the other. "anyway, don't act like you didn't blush when i did it".

"just wasn't expecting that" jisung's cheeks remain a shade of red, and if seojun notices, well he keeps his mouth shut. "don't be so full of yourself.."

except seojun really has every right to be full of himself, he's aware of how easy jisung slips, how he simply has jisung wrapped around his finger with just his pretty smile. jisung is starkly giving himself away, or maybe he isn't and seojun is a mind reader like he's always secretly suspected.

"i don't think you of all people should tell me that".

see? mind reader.

seojun hums, practically sensing jisung's thoughts. "..so? are you planning to sleep in my bed tonight?"

jisung sucks his teeth, opting to cross his arms defensively. screw his extensive sleeping problems, he has to be stubborn enough that it seems real. he rises from his spot and trudges over to his own bed, sitting unnaturally in the square middle.

his hands are placed into his lap, and seojun begins silently giggling from where he lays against his pillows. "stop laughing".

"i'm not laughing at you".

what a lie, jisung's lips turn downward as he sinks into the hotel bedding. he ignores the older's prying eyes, hearing yet another snicker.

his face twitches, he has to stay stubborn, he can't fall for his charm just yet. seojun again snorts, crossing his legs as he begins getting busy on his phone, it's only ten pm, much too early for him to go to sleep.

jisung picks at his fingers, usually silence wouldn't be a problem, but silence with seojun literally across from him is a problem. he should be talking his ear off! this is ridiculous!

jisung's facial muscles twitch once again, no he's not pissed off because he's getting ignored, it's just.. he's not an attention seeker okay?

but jisung can't help it, he scrunches his nose and stands from his place, trudging over to seojun's bed and sitting down beside him in a silent display of his clear irritation.

seojun doesn't even have to look up, yet he chuckles anyway. "took you five minutes".

"shut up" the argument is useless, but jisung tries anyway, struggling to not crumble under seojun's gaze. "i have sleeping problems" he whispers, arms again crossed.

seojun snorts, shoulder nudging jisung's. "or you just have a crush on me".

jisung scoffs enough that he's able to convince himself it's real. that would be crazy, what kind of person develops a crush on their bandmate? that would be stupid. "no i don't".

seojun seems shocked by such a revelation. "okay, just don't go back on your words in a few weeks yeah?"

"what are you a psychic too now?"

seojun simply hums, he seems to find that one funny.

the scariest part is that seojun is terribly good at predicting the future.

it's barely a full three weeks later that jisung really registers the words, and even then he attempts to allow for his denial to carry through.

because it's strange with seojun, what would having a crush even mean? would it mean dating afterward? does seojun even..

well jisung shouldn't fixate on that too much, why would seojun even tell him that? it's like most things with the older, it seems he'd prefer to keep it a mystery, endlessly hint yet never discreetly explain anything.

so jisung approaches it with.. well— nothing. he keeps the words tucked away in the deepest corners of his mind.

the thing about this crush is that jisung knows it won't just go away. jisung is aware of the kinds there are, this isn't a cute little crush you have on one of the older members much more akin to admiration (seojun used to have one of those on jeno, he told jisung right before debut that he was so nice he couldn't help it, the crush slowly developed as more of appreciation over the years).

no, jisung knows it's more than that. simple veneration can't encapsulate it all, he thinks it equates to a larger feeling of affection.

istj will be released in a few days, yet jisung can barely focus on comeback preparations or the closing of the tour. maybe it's stupid to be hyper fixating on something you otherwise would've assumed was small, but it's not, it can't be small.

because it can't be small when it comes to seojun. potential mind reading powers aside, he's practically a genius when it comes to stuff like this, jisung's half convinced he's got cameras behind his eyes or something. he has to have the most picturesque memory jisung has ever seen, he picks up on everything, the single twitching of a facial muscle is akin to striking gold. sometimes, he makes jisung feel as if he's going insane.

and the thing is, he knows that seojun knows. it's terrifying how much seojun really knows, he keeps up regular smiles around the members and goes on performing his regular seojun gestures.

yeah, maybe jisung's simply afraid of the imminent threat of rejection, but he fears seojun's own muddled thought process on a much larger scale. it's scary when the one person who practically knows all of your thoughts is so difficult to decode in themselves. he's scared.

but what is there to be scared of? this is kang seojun. his best friend with a history of sneaking out to buy convenience store snacks during practice, writing letters to his future self, getting everyone gifts literal months before their own birthdays, the seojun who jisung can pretty much credit for the fact that he was able to comfortably sleep during the cursed trainee days considering the amount of times he crashed in his bed when in the middle of an insomniac episode.

really, he should be.. glad?

except he's anxious, anxious about the member he should be least anxious about.

and of course, it's like seojun appears with his stupid smile the moment jisung is just the slightest bit confused about pretty much everything.

"are you alright?" seojun is laying upside down, gaze fixated on his screen, yet attention keen on his same aged groupmate. he doesn't even have to look at jisung, it's ridiculous.

"what?"

seojun snorts, tossing his phone despite keeping himself remained upside down. "is it that pre-comeback week anxiety again? you seem on edge".

of course i am, you correctly predicted i had a crush on you and i just realized i've probably been in love with you since if i was fifteen.

jisung cops a glance, a small snicker falling from his lips. seojun turns up his nose, he looks rather cute cascaded the wrong way, hair left sprawled on the couch cushions. "it's nothing.."

"park jisung" if the younger freezes in his spot, then he hopes seojun doesn't pick up on such a fleeting moment. smoothly, seojun flips himself back right side up, straightening his posture and patting the empty spot beside him. "it's too late for excuses, tell me what's bothering you".

it's you, you're bothering me, please stop.

jisung keeps in his spot for a second, finally snapping back into regular human thoughts as he sits as far as he can from seojun, hands placed in his lap as he attempts to avoid eye contact. it's proven unsuccessful, the older's got those burning eyes that he can't just shy away from.

seojun takes the initiative, scooting closer and bumping into the younger, knees knocking together in their usual fashion. he stares for a few, then smiles. "you look amazing in blue".

did he just—

he just changed the subject when he asked the question! what the hell!? jisung is sure seojun is trying at the whole insanity thing, big eyes blinking in pure engrossment at the new hue of his hair. blue is his favorite color, the dimmed shade of jisung's own hair could account for one of his favorite sights of the year.

"blue is your favorite color" he opts to respond, seojun's eyes don't yet flitter, but there's that shine which jisung parrots in his own.

"no it's not".

"should i keep it blue?"

"yep, for the next seventy five years".

"seventy five is excessive" jisung argues, the conversation is stupid, he almost impulsively leans in as a way of shutting him up. "my hair will fall out".

"you're gonna have to be bald anyway, enlistment is a curse".

jisung swears under his breath. "you can't cut your hair, that would be like.. a streak of bad luck".

"or you just love it so much".

jisung bites into his cheek. "didn't say that".

"right, if our stylist noona's cut my hair you would cry".

jisung's gasp is offended by the accusation, the prospect of him tearing up at seojun's hair being cut isn't exactly all that farfetched though.

seojun giggles at the thought, shoving jisung by his shoulder. he looks pretty, it's nothing but a black tshirt and sweatpants, oh jisung hates himself. "you're still such a crybaby".

jisung would typically pout at such a statement, but there's definitely a much more important thing on his mind. "seojunie".

"hm?"

"ithinki'minlovewithyou".

though someone with absolutely no context would think that seojun was clueless, the twitch of his lips alerts jisung to the fact that he heard all of that. he crosses his arms, feigned uncertainty behind his blink.

"you have to speak up, i'm hard of hearing" oh the stupid tone of his voice, jisung wants to die, actually no he doesn't, seojun's laughter is simply so entertaining. jisung's cheeks burn a bright red, and seojun just barely bites back a snicker at the sight. he keeps himself sat up, arms remaining crossed, gaze completely focused.

jisung clenches his fist, oh he wants to punch him so bad, seojun is stupid, so stupid. you like him though, you like him so much, isn't he adorable?

"i think you were right.." jisung mumbles. "i have a crush on you.."

seojun allows for the silence to consume the room for a moment, and jisung again thinks it'd all be much easier if he just fainted onto the floor. the older is staring a bit too hard, his eyes hold that look which is indecipherable, but that's when jisung captures it, the gleam of pure affection, fondness, love, it's adorable.

"aww, do you jisungie?"

"you aren't supposed to make fun of me.."

seojun again laughs, as if jisung's feelings are amusing. "i'm not! you're just so cute".

jisung opts to burying his rapidly heating face in seojun's lap, the older bringing his hands to cart through his hair. "it's embarrassing.."

"really? now i'm offended".

jisung peaks from his frankly terrible hiding spot, blinking at seojun with enough chagrin accompanying his glance it gets his point across. "you know that's not what i mean.. it's just—" jisung can't even help himself anymore, he shies away from the older's eyes insistently. "how did you even know?"

seojun snorts, jisung still feels as if there's amusement behind his eyes. "because you're so obvious, think you were probably the last one to find out, everyone knows already".

"don't say that".

"okay, i won't.."

seojun's eye twitches momentarily, his fingers coming to poke at jisung's stomach, giggling at the knee jerk reaction from the other. his lips curve upward, it's simply so easy, jisung is simply so easy.

jisung keeps his hands clutched at his front, a glower that is so gentle it can barely even be considered threatening.

seojun's hands find purchase on jisung's shoulders, a smile tugging at his lips. "you know, i like you too.."

jisung pouts, nothing substantial though. "it would be scarier if you didn't".

seojun laughs, head tipping downward and eyes fluttering closed. "you knew i wasn't going to reject you".

"not really".

jisung doesn't say more, simply lays down onto seojun, legs coming up to his chest as he allows for the other to continue his hair stroking ministrations. his cheek presses into seojun's leg, but then he has to ask one more thing;

"does this mean dating?"

he isn't sure why his stomach drops at the responding look, seojun's taps on the couch, jisung passes him his phone. "i would hope so, unless you want us to become like hiki and jeno hyung".

jisung crinkles his nose, shuffling upward. "no, i like dating i like.. yeah, it's all good".

seojun's smile reaches his eyes, it's very pretty. "you better keep your hair blue".

the whisper earns a giggle, sometimes, jisung enjoys noise, or maybe just noise from seojun is what he enjoys.

the thing about dating your best friend is that nothing exactly changes.

it's not a negative prospect really, jisung finds that he really just enjoys the label. boyfriend is much cuter than he originally expected, though dating has always been the shallow end of the reservoir, jisung doesn't exactly think it's bad.

seojun, with all of his experience, is also still fairly new to the idea, jisung guesses he's just better at making sense of it all.

they don't say it in any way, but they're sure the members have picked up on their sudden change of mode. jisung is sure seojun hasn't told any of them, considering he couldn't keep a secret of that state for that long, he'd probably blurt it out in a moment of guilt.

the members are observant enough that they don't have to verbally reach for an answer, just silently congratulating them on their newly acquired relationship.

the affection remains mundane, hand holding simply lingers, stares get much too love like and jisung has to remind himself that he can't just kiss seojun in front of everyone (well he can, but he'd rather be smart with his decisions).

it's funny, but it's also cute, jisung likes it.

he's midway through monitoring their performance when the older decides it's his time to suddenly spring out of nowhere, arms coming around him and chin placed on his shoulder. jisung doesn't have to glance backward to know who it is, simply his manner of affection is recognizable in its all.

"been here for a few minutes.." he mumbles, jisung hums as he keeps the ipad at a steady angle, gaze stuck on the repetitive choreography. "something wrong?"

"wanna make sure we're in sync" jisung replies, the older simply keeps them pressed together as his silent response to that one.

"we're gonna do another take anyway".

"reassurance".

when jisung glances at him, seojun is just the slightest bit closer, and he shyly retreats, despite their history, jisung is still mousy at the depiction of much closer affection, it's new. seojun blinks, feigned innocence behind his pretty smile.

jisung so badly wants to, but he'd rather keep the both of them safe. he comes to intertwine their fingers, a quick glance to the other members. "there are cameras" he whispers, he assumes this sight will be taken terribly out of context.. if there even is correct context here.

seojun snickers. "what? did you think i was going to kiss you or something?"

jisung's cheeks burn a bright red, denial instantly replacing his blood. "no! i just.. people might get the wrong idea".

seojun's smile is much too contagious, and jisung feels there's an evident lack of warmth when his arms slip from his waist. his hands come behind his back, clasping together in a small sound. "i see".

"don't pout i'm not rejecting you!"

his fake sobs draw glances from a few of the members. "you don't love me!"

jisung sighs, the over-dramatization of his emotions is its own double edged sword, it can be cute when it isn't against him. he pouts himself, and seojun can barely contains his giggles. "aww, can't you forgive me?"

seojun instead keeps up the attitude.

it isn't until the near end of recording studio choom that they interact again, sliding down the wall, jisung scoots closer and leans against seojun, opting to begin the affection this time.

seojun is listening to music, one of his eyes opening to see jisung. the younger has his cheek pressed to his shoulder, the rest of the members mumbling fading into the background, the other blinking. "hi".

"hi" he whispers back, his gaze focused on the earbuds. "what are listening to?" he inquires, just the slightest bit tired.

seojun doesn't answer verbally, simply removes one of his earbuds and offers it to jisung, who hesitates before allowing him to do so.

jisung again snakes his hand downward, intertwining their fingers. "what song is this?"

"akogare by taeko onuki" he states, jisung's eyebrows furrow, he seems to sense the querying movement. "hiki hyung recommended it".

"it's.. nice".

"it's not your thing".

jisung chuckles at seojun's snort, his eyes narrowing. "still, it's nice".

seojun raises an eyebrow, clicking his tongue. "you aren't just saying that because you like me?"

jisung stares for a moment, his eyes are very pretty, the music eventually fading into its own background noise. he takes a moment to think, not because he doesn't know his answer, but because he enjoys admiring seojun. "no, it's nice, i like you for more than just music taste".

seojun hums, tilting his head, maybe just a slight fracture in his usually tranquil image, the beginnings of a blush spreading across his face. "keep your hair blue forever" he spontaneously speaks.

jisung shrugs. "i'll think about it".

he's not lying, really, he isn't.

[fatuismooches]

I bring to thee more of my brainrot....

GRAAAAAHHHHH AKADEMIYA DOTTORE AWOOOOOOOOOAWOOOOOOOO BARKBARKBARK

I wish i could transport myself to genshin so i can be with him at the akademiya...

totally self indulgent but... some random student just flirting with a confused reader and dottore looking at them from afar like an angry kitten about to pounce on some poor prey because HOW DARE THEY.... Reader is clearly leagues above them. Reader is HIS assistant, they have no need for such trivial things. Eventually he gets so mad he just storms up and pulls reader away, reader is so confused and keeps asking him whats wrong, once they notice his (obvious) jealousy they smirle and tease him about it (he is not pleased and starts putting readers books on higher surfaces cuz he's a lil shit)

IDK IM SO UNWELL... I really like jealous dottore... he is so down bad... - 🐓

One thing about Akademiya Dottore is that he won't admit a lot of his emotions. Yes, he'll admit how annoyed and irritated and pissed off he is. But he won't admit it when he's happy, when he's excited, when he's in love... when he's jealous.

Zandik has felt jealous before, such as annoyed that others are accepted but not him. But never jealous in this context. Which is why the feeling that gnaws at him when he sees another student so close to you is completely infuriating, annoying, bothersome, you get the point. He hates it. He hates feeling this way... it's utterly unbecoming of a scholar such as himself. And he also hates you for making him feel this way. Why have you done this to him? Why have you affected him so much, messing with his mind and body like this? He's supposed to be focusing on his research, but all he can do is keep sneaking glasses at you and the student. He gives in when he sees their arm sneak up to rest on your shoulder. Talking is one thing, but touching what's his? Oh no, the Akademiya's Outcast is standing behind you in a matter of seconds which obviously gives the poor student a heart attack.

Oh you tease Zandik so much for being jealous, it's honestly incredibly amusing,, you know he always gave the eye to anyone who dared to look at you for too long but jealous? This is completely new,, you didn't even know he had it in him. In a way it's rather enamoring... because he finally loves you enough to feel jealous over you. Before he couldn't care less about you,, so real cute stuff! (He makes you get on the ladder to get all the high-up books in the House of Daena as punishment </3 and flat-out ignores you if you keep teasing him,, he's not entertaining ANYTHING. He just tells you not to do it again.)

(It's just another thing he finds very tiring, is how smart you are yet how dumb you can be. Can you really not see how this buffoon is trying to flirt with you? It's exasperating really, to have to save you from these idiots. You should be grateful he's here to save you from such fools. This is his excuse whenever you try to make fun of him. As if you didn't save him from getting beat on multiple occasions...)

[mellow-killjoy]

You're More Familiar With My Camera Lens Then Me

Ryden fic (Ryan Ross x Brendon Urie)

Ryan has a crush on a guy at school, he likes practising his photography skills on him. The only problem is Ryan's never actually talked to the guy before.

Fair warning Ryan is written as incredibly creepy and awkward in this so… this is also completely self indulgent, no one asked for this but me

TW - Stalking, photographs without consent

Word count: 1698 - fic under the cut

Ryan was leaning up against one of the thick trees on campus. His camera held steady in his hands as he looked through the viewfinder, desperately searching for something to capture. He froze up when he finally came across a certain person, someone who had become a frequent victim of Ryan's photography as of late.

Ryan knew it was incredibly creepy, the fact that he was taking photos of some random guy, he's never talked to. And the fact that he's done this many times now. He couldn't help himself though, he was too nervous to introduce himself and the boy looked like heaven.

Ryan snapped a few shots, zooming in and out a couple of times on his target. Ryan continued to track the boy with his camera. By this point he had stopped taking photos, instead just watching him. It was way beyond creepy, not just crossing, but trampling the line of being a decent person. But the way the boy's fingers danced along the fret of the guitar in his hands had Ryan's face flushed, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth.

It's not like Brendon was doing anything arousing… it was just how pretty he looked, so focused on the song he was playing. The sun was shining down on him just right, his messy hair framed his face. For a moment Ryan had considered walking near him, simply passing by him and his friends just to hear him singing. But Ryan dreaded the thought of being anywhere near him, Ryan believed he would taint Brendon’s perfection if he so much as breathed the same air as him.

Ryan groaned as he finally pulled the camera away from his face, letting the strap drop around his neck. His fingers shaking slightly as he rubbed his face, his hands were only ever steady when he had a camera or a paint brush in them. maybe that's why he never made any friends, he was too awkward and could never hold a conversation to save his life. His only friend in college had been Spencer, but they had been friends for years, and he was used to Ryan's creepy, antisocial behaviour. He didn't want to risk scaring off his Muse.

Ryan had finally, with a lot of internal struggle, left the courtyard. Trudging his way back up to his dorm, he had a paper he needed to finish by tonight and he knew if he hadn't left now, he would sit there and stare at Brendon all day. And so, he was hunched over his desk, typing away in his laptop about some stupid art theory he could care less about, Ryan always scoffed at the rules of art, creativity had no rules (and it totally had nothing to due with the fact he could never memorise them)

Just as he was finishing off the paper, Spencer had come into their dorm. Because of course they shared a dorm, Ryan would refuse to ever share a living space with anyone else. Spencer's hands gripped Ryan's shoulders pulling him backwards to sit upright, muttering about ‘shrimp spine’.

“Hey so… these friends of mine are hosting, like… this bonfire thing tonight… maybe you could come with me?” Spencer had always nagged Ryan about trying to make friends, constantly worried about his social life. “your hippy friends?” Ryan's monotone question quickly followed.

“Ok firstly, they're not hippies… and no it's some friends from my music course. You should really come, it'll be fun” Spencer walked off to the bathroom, leaving Ryan alone to think. Did he really want to go to some dumb bonfire with a bunch of people he didn't know… absolutely fucking not. But it would probably make Spencer happy, or at least get him off his case. Ryan rubbed his hand down his face, letting out a soft groan as he stood up from his desk chair

“yeah, alright I'll come… but I'm bringing my camera and I am not afraid to leave if it's boring” He calls to Spencer, moving towards his bed to pull on the jacket that had been left there earlier. His camera slung over his neck, the steady weight a comfort to him. Spencer steps out of the bathroom, his hair now tamed “I wouldn't expect anything less Ry”

Ryan had instantly regretted leaving his dorm, his fingers clutched the camera strap tightly as he awkwardly sat by himself on a park bench. The bonfire was held in an overgrown park, right near campus; it hadn't been used properly in years. The grass was overgrown and patchy, and the many benches and seats were in varying stages of falling apart.

Ryan was just about ready to leave, already sick of the variety of alcohol. The only reason he had stayed for more then two minutes was because of the free drinks, but they were all shit and cheap. Ryan decided to at least make it worth it, popping the lens cap off as he turned the camera on. Peering down the viewfinder for a few moments, trying to find something good to capture. He didn't find anything too interesting, the drunk people flailing around in an attempt to ‘dance’ not making good targets. So he decided to take a few shots of the large bonfire, watching as the embers danced around.

Ryan let out a soft groan as a heavy weight threw itself at the bench, his drink spilling over and seeping into the splitting wood. His face twisted into a grimace as he slowly pulled the camera from his face, preparing himself to interact with some idiotic drunk person. He turned around, ready to make some snarky comment but the words caught in his throat as he saw who had thrown themselves carelessly into the seat next to him.

Ryan's face dusted pink, mirroring the drunken flushed face of Brendon who was now looking over at him. His eyes were glazed over, his smile looked almost painfully wide. Ryan thought to himself, that he's never smiled even half as big as that. “shit, sorry dude i didn't mean to interrupt your… thing” Brendon’s words were slurred together and went right through Ryan's ears “what's up with that, by the way?... not a party person”

Ryan just stared at him for a moment before remembering he had to actually respond to people “uhm not really… I'm just here with a friend. I usually hate stupid parties like this” his deep and monotone voice only just being heard over the loud music and chatter. Brendon let out a noise, something mixed between a giggle and a gasp “oh I'm sorry… Mr cool guy thinks my party is stupid”

Ryan tenses up, a flicker of real human emotion crossing his face as his eyes widen “shit sorry… I didn't mean it like that, I just really hate parties, or any kind of large gathering… or people in general” his awkward rambling was cut off by Brendons laugh “nah I'm just fucking with you dude, I'm not hosting this shit… booze here sucks” Ryan's takes a deep breath, settling his pounding heartbeat.

“I get it… you're more of a ‘film the world before it happens’ kind of guy… I'm the same, I suppose… I'd rather sing about my feelings then talk about them with someone” Brendon gets distracted for a few moments, watching as some idiot trips over. “That's not actually the same thing at all though but… you get it. Right? Good” Brendon turns back to Ryan as he continues his drunken ramble.

“I think photography is cool though, do you mind if i check it out?” Brendon’s hands instantly reach for the camera without waiting for a response, accidentally yanking the strap around the back of Ryan's neck, forcing the poor boy forward. Ryan winces as he claws the strap over his head, ignoring the fact Brendon simply smiled at him. Ryan couldn't help but glare, the fact that Brendon was about to see copious amounts of photos of himself.

“Oh I'm Brendon by the way” though he doesn't bother looking up, too focused on turning the camera on. Ryan was too nervous to stop him, or do anything for that matter. Instead of his face twisting in disgust, his stupidly bright grin seemed to grow bigger. And for the first time since stumbling over, Brendon actually looked at Ryan. Properly looked at him, taking in his messy brown hair and smudged eye-liner, the way Ryan seemed to shrink away from his gaze.

“Wow… if this didn't fuel my ego, i'd probably call you a fucking creep” Ryan's face burned red from embarrassment, he seemed to shrink even further in on himself. “I mean seriously this is some real perverted shit” his voice was teasing, holding no hints of real disgust or anger. He wasn't lying about it doing wonders for his ego. “Shut up. You just look good” Ryan snatched the camera back, wiping it with his sleeves before turning it off. Brendon just grinned, leaning in closer to him, close enough for Ryan to smell the cheap beer on his breath “you're not too bad yourself pretty boy…” he glanced over at the crowd of people, before his attention turned back to the nervous boy in front of him “shit… I gotta go, but… I'm glad I could be your Muse… perv”

Ryan watched as Brendon walked off, going over to a small group of people calling for him. Ryan's heart was beating out of his chest, he wished the floor could swallow him whole. He was left confused and flustered from the interaction with the drunken boy. And as he quickly slipped away from the party, he hoped that by morning, Brendon would forget about him.

Ryan had made it to his dorm as quickly as he could, his entire body burned with shame. Though a small part of him was flustered at the way Brendon had called him ‘pretty boy’ teasing him about being a pervert instead of yelling at him in disgust. Ryan tried to shake the thoughts away, but even as he lay there in bed. His mind was completely consumed by Brendon. He was doomed

[siriuslysatorusimping]

Kiko’s Masterlist

This is a Master for the important links for my stories 😊

*We are not spoiler-free here, so please block the JJK Manga Spoilers tag if you don't want spoilers!*

Some of my posts contain mature content, and I try to mark them with proper community labels. If you're not seeing them, you'll need to make sure your settings are updated to display content marked as mature. Please consume mature/explicit content at your own discretion!

Please do not copy, imitate, or recreate any of my works. If my works inspired yours, please give proper credit.

AO3 💕 | ko-fi ☕️ | YouTube 🎥 | Patreon | twitter | Vocal

Another Level Masterlist

Status: Complete

“You’re a Zenin.”

More like an unwanted mistake. Which, funny enough, had actually been the first words she ever heard her father say to her. - Kurisaki Rinko was born an unwanted bastard child to the Zenin clan, having since grown into an unwanted bastard adult. Her stubborn refusal to be discarded resulted in a display of strength that many would call (they had, many times to her face, in fact) an unhinged lack of self-preservation. But lucky for her, that unhinged display caught the attention of a particular blue-eyed menace who happens to be more fun to rile up than anyone she’s ever met.

Read Another Level on AO3

Physical Paradox Masterlist

Status: In Progress

How they went from: “I’m kinda impressed,” Gojo stated, sliding his sunglasses onto his face. “Didn’t expect a psych major to know this much about philosophical theory.” Rinko blinked at him slowly, raising her eyebrows as she scoffed. “I’m sorry, mister unresolved childhood trauma,” she said, stepping closer and poking a finger in his chest. “But I don’t really give a fuck if you’re impressed.”

To: “Your professor is leading the world of cognitive and behavioral research,” Gojo told Rinko's students, chest swelling with pride. “And she’s really pretty-” “Oh, she’s fucking gorgeous!” he agreed. “She has it all. Smart, funny, beautiful. She’s honestly perfect. It’s incredible she-” “Married you?” Touma interjected. “I know. I thought the same thing when I first met you.”

Read Physical Paradox on AO3

Gokudō Masterlist

Status: On Hold (I will finish this eventually, though)

Gokudō (極道): the extreme path. A term used to refer to members of a Yakuza syndicate.

-

“Now, why is a pretty girl like you in an ugly place like this?” “Some might say the contrast is tragically poetic,” she replied easily. “Yeah, well,” he drawled, a smirk pulling at his lips as he stepped up to stand beside her. “Others would say it’s tragically idiotic. What’s your name, pretty girl?” “Shouldn’t you introduce yourself first?” she asked, her pulse jumping at his quiet chuckle. “You already know who I am.”

-

She never asked to be part of this world. A world filled with greed and violence and revenge. She never asked to be part of the world where life was as meaningless as dust. The world stained red by the blood that pooled beneath her mother’s body after she was forced to watch her die. She never asked to be part of the world driven by hatred and bloodlust, but she never asked to leave, either.

Read Gokudō on AO3

One-Shots

Before I Love You - (angsty Gojo/Rinko AU, hopeful ending) - Part 2: Broken Lens | Author's Discussion

Fight Me? - (Nurse!Gojo shoots his shot with a grumpy patient)

The Theft - (Two broken hearts, ten years of separation, and a stolen sweater)

Blurbs

For Your Health - (College!Gojo just wants to help his girlfriend stay healthy)

Untitled Unfinished Angst - (very angsty Goinko bc Kiko is not ok)

Built to Break - (exes to lovers au with a lil extra trauma sprinkled bc Kiko is never ok)

Previews

Untitled (a self-indulgent Goinko AU about healthy relationships) - Preview 2

Bittersweet Memories (an angsty au inspired by The Vow)

Locked Out (College AU Shortseries)

Random Asks and Kiko's Rants

Ask: Advice for AO3 writers and when you're in a creativity rut

Ask: How Do I plan the plot for stories?

Rant: The issue with meaningless angst

Kiko's Original Work

Sample: Summary and blurbs

Sample: Blurbs 2

Meet some characters

Another Life - Short Story

[el-buzz]

📚 Cg! Clay HCS!!! 💚🎶

Aggagaggaggag first hc list I do EVERRR (so please be kind (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) /💗💗)

Cg! Clay x Agere! Reader!!

pretty much gender neutral!!

Cw: caps lock (just me having happy outbursts), um lotsa author notes and commentary I just wanna talk about him and about how he would be as a cg :ccc, also this is incredibly self indulgent

Also there was no proof reading ☠️

(Crossposted on ao3 @Soft_Buzz!! oh and I’ll update this if I get a new hc idea)

Anyways here you go 💚:

•nicknames for you: kiddo, baby, bubba, bubba wubba (he’s squeezing your cheeks and baby talking you 😭😭), prince/princess/ lil highness/royal, and a number of other sweet nicknames or any that you prefer!

•he would be suuuuuch a sweet and doting caregiver waaaaaaah but he would definitely ensue rules for you! Calm and Strict(ish) cg! Clay would pull up to make sure you are safe and healthy even if you are feeling big!!

•he’d hate to see you hurt or sick, but he’d do everything thing in his power to nurse you back to health :]!

•Clay would definitely provide his kiddo with healthy snack or with fruit or veggie cups!

•Although Clay’s sorta strict he can be soooo soft he always want to hold you, whether it’s your hand/pinkie or cuddle up with you.

•You are his battery and he wants to recharge.

* HE WOULD SOOOO READ TO YOUUUU AHHH he loooooves reading so ofc he’d love to share that interest with his little one

• (please it’s the cutest thing ever)

• imagine him beside you with a book open (he has his reading glasses on :3) and as he reads, he gives all the different characters different voices and will always put emotion into his reading voice, which always leads to you giggling or you gasping in surprise.

• One time you insisted that you were big enough for his sad book club and that you wouldn’t become a big puddle of tears so he gave you Charlotte’s Web to read.

• You were a mess. You didn’t stop being sad for the next couple of HOURS (yes this is a reference to that JD fan art ifykyk☠️)

• Clay had to give you so many hugs, cuddles, and kisses to make up for it. He thought it’d be funny, but he sorta forgot how emotional of a little one you can be.

• “I’m so so sorry baby.” *kiss* “How can I make it up to you?? I’ll do anything”

• oh you’d grin a that. You choose to either do dress up WITH make up or draw on his face and mess around with his hair. AND ice cream.

• You took soooo many pictures (and you may or may have not shared them with Viva, Poppy, and his brothers) Clay says he hates you for it, but secretly believes it was so worth it to see that sparkle in your eyes

• he bought you a piggy and a spider (with little bb spiders) stuffie. Even if you have arachnophobia, you hugged those stuffies while crying happy tears. You gave him a tight hug which he softly returned and gave you a forehead kiss.

• (This whole event was also the birth of your happy scrapbook club!! (even though it just you :} ) )

• You and Clay will just sit together while reading different things. Him with some well recognized and praised novel or book and you with a happy lil scrapbook in your hands!

• I’d also like to think he has a puppet character like Bandit does with unicorse! (Maybe a dragon but that just me :])

• (Clay and Branch be matching with their ventriloquism skills lol)

• If you seem to be clumsy or fall often he starts to develop a sort of spider sense for it and will catch you before disaster happens

• OKOK I know this is gonna sound random buuuut I believe Clay is the type to carry lollipops, and sometimes other candy, around. Idk like I can just picture him a with a lollipop in his mouth trying to look all serious/mysterious and nonchalant LOL

• ANYWAYS back to the Agere stuff

• I think that after completing a task or being good, Clay would def give his kiddo a lollipop as a treat!! that orrrrr if his kiddo seems to be regressing in public and they really want/need a paci or just something to fixate on then boom!!! Lollipop! :D

• Talking about rewards

• This man would sooooo spoil you!! you’re his treasure and he wants you to know it!!

• He’ll either get you food you’ve been craving or a stuffed animal/little gear orrrr both!!

• (Because of the two of you, you now have a chest fuuuull of stuffies Woops💧)

• You always try to show your appreciation by giving him small handmade gifts!! A lil pop up card, bead bracelets (you definitely have matching bracelets), even something crocheted/knitted, and pretty much any arts n crafts you can make!

• Now onto funny business ( •̀ - • )!

• so ofc when it first came to having fun and being playful with you he was bit scared

• can you blame him???

• He’d spent A LOT of time trying to get rid/away from the tittle of being the fun boy

• Ofc through lot of reassurance you let him know that he can have fun and play with you and still be a very serious caregiver!

• you help him understand that being funny and silly every once in a while doesn’t hurt and that he should try to find a balance that work for him! Which he eventually does :D!!

• I like to believe that he’d be great at playing pretend and hide and seek!

• “Worry not your highness!! You will protect you from the dragon!” (It’s one of your plushies)

• “Wherever could my kiddo be?? They must have turned invisible!!” (he can hear your giggles which just makes his smile wider)

• Although he really tries to be there for you, he’s a reaaaally busy man :((( but he still tries to spend time with you through parallel play! While he’s doing his grown up paperwork, you get to colooor!! (or draw or scrapbook or anything really) as long you promise to be good and not distract him

• (plus the sooner he’s done the sooner he can give you all his attention! so it’s a win-win situation :D)

• Actually if you were feeling extra lil you’d just get a paper and scribble on it with crayon trying to copy Clay’s mannerisms (when he sees this he’s physically holding himself back from just picking you up, cradling you, and just babying you waaaah you’re gonna be the end of him)

• oh and he would sooo keep your little artworks in his working area (they bring a sweet smile to his face and warm his soul you’re the best kiddo he could have ever asked for)

• You also get to have cuddles while he works! Sometimes he’ll just sit you on his lap with a stuffie or two while he wraps an arm around you and litters your head or face with kisses!

• Now onto not so funny business ૮๑ˊᯅˋ๑ა

• sometimes Clay’ll have a rough or tiring day :((

* and that’s okk caregivers have their moments too!

• He’ll usually want to cuddle with you and hold you close. (You are his stuffie :D)

• He might even tickle you or blow raspberries on your tummy (if you give him permission ofc!!) which often leaves you with a giggling and squirming fit.

• He just loves seeing you laugh and smile (especially if it’s him who made you happy :] you just brighten his day so much sometimes)

• One time he was just so tired and just laying down on the couch and then you brought one stuffie to him and then two till you pretty much had him buried under almost all of your stuffies!!

* You then proceeded to lay on top of him, and Clay just sticks both arms out from under the pile while smiling softly with his eyes closed.

• Let’s just say you guys woke up with stuffed animals scattered eeeeeverywhere

• If you’re a kiddo/baby who tends to get overwhelmed easily, he’ll get you some noise canceling/dampening headphones and just wraps you in a soft blanket like a little burrito.

• He’ll also either get you an eye mask or will lower the lights if he can. (And if you’re feeling lil enough then a paci too!!)

• After doing any of this, he’ll just bring you onto his lap and whisper sweet lil nothings to you till you feel better or seem to fall asleep :D!

• would enforce a bed time >:( (he is a very very veeeery serious guy after all)

• but luckily bedtime means a bottle or sippy of sweet sleepy tea and a storyyyy :D!!

• Forehead kisses!! (CALL ME BIASED CAUSE I LOOOOOVE FOREHEAD KISSES but I stand by what I say.

• Oh and if he’s ever gonna to be very busy for the day and he won’t be able to take care of his kiddo, he’d ask Viva to help him take care of you!!

• Plus who doesn’t love babysitter Viva??? She’s so energetic and fun with you, but she’ll definitely tone it down for you 💛

• she’s also super strong so she’ll definitely carry you or give you a piggy back ride if you ask :>!

• She also give you lots of candies and sugary foods but shhhhh don’t tell Clay itsa secret (but I think the sugar rush/crash you have when he picks you up from Viva’s tells him more than enough

• (I feel like he would trust all his brothers with you (especially Bruce) except JD 😭😭)

• He would sooooo grab your cheeks and squeeze them like he did to Branch when first seeing him again

• Expect him to do that whenever he just wants to dote on you and baby you even if you’re feeling bigger than usual he just loves youuuu! 💚💚💚

In summary: I need this man bc he is the bestest boyfriend and caregiver ever!!

Final notes!:

I love likes but comments and reposts are greatly appreciate (I love to talk if you can’t tell) type something out and let me know what you think 💗💗

If anybody would like to use any of the hcs/scenarios for a fanfic tots fine with me just don’t forget to tag me for credit and so I can see it :DD!!

[tinypandacakes]

Hello! I hope everything is going well with you :)

I'm so immersed and genuinely impressed with your writing!!! Do you have any advice on writing a first chapter or for writing long fanfics in general? Are there any things you keep in mind or plan out before starting?

Thank you!💗

🥹 thank you so much! Sorry this is so late but it got trapped in my drafts! I’m no pro by any means, just a hobby writer but this is what works for me — (kind of wordy/rambling so under the cut)

Like a lot of writers, I am much better at starting long fics than finishing them please don’t look at all my WIPs that need updates but in general all my fics start from a daydream that completely consumes me until I am compelled to write it so I don’t spontaneously combust. trapper keeper was originally a single bedsharing scene that gripped my brain and wouldn’t let go.

Outside of actual writing advice, I think reading more has improved my writing. I read a fic and go “fuck, that was incredible, I wish I could write like that.” And then realize: I can!!!! I try to pick out what I liked about it and how to emulate the elements I enjoyed and incorporate those style bits into my own writing.

Some people are “plotters” and some people are “pantsers” (figuring it out as you go/writing by the seat of your pants) and some are in between. I pants it until I’m forced to plot because writing on vibes alone only takes me so far…so I have a master plot point document. Nothing excessive, just barebones plot beats.

People usually get stuck in the middle of fics because they know what start and finish they want, but the middle is kind of boggy and unclear — a little early plotting helps get past that and prevent you from writing yourself into a hole!

But if you’re super inspired by a random scene you can’t stop thinking about, just start writing that part and you can figure out the rest/plot it later…do whatever gets you to actually write something instead of just daydreaming.

I write on my phone 85% of the time time, which is nice so if I get a random idea or burst of inspiration I can jot it down. My chapter outlines are just half-coherent bullet points and lines that I think of like in the Target parking lot in the 30 seconds before I go unbuckle my kids to go inside or while walking. I do a lot of thinking and jotting while walking.

I enjoy reading and writing a first chapter that kind of throws you in the middle of something and unfolds from there…don’t need a ton of explanation because we can learn as we go.

Sorry if this was super rambly! But I think the biggest piece of advice that is super cliche but true is to write for yourself first. write what you want and what interests you. Be self indulgent. Have fun with it! That passion will shine through!💕

[after-witch]

Okay, hold on because this?

You’re spitting nothing but facts. I’ve said this exact same thing on both of my previous blogs (not this one, not yet xmdkxkdnd) about how x reader just was not a thing in Ye Fandom of Olde. I don’t know if people really believe me or if I just sound like a hunch backed crone standing on her front porch waving her cane at the neighborhood kids, yelling at them to appreciate what they’ve got because back in my day … but it really was such an incredibly different landscape. There are certain aspects of it that I miss for sure and others I’m glad to leave in the past.

The completely random conversations between the author and the character(s) among them, GOD, the way that still activates every single one of my cringe reflexes. 😂 Actually my all time favorite fic had those for the first dozen or so chapters, but she thankfully left them in the fore and afterword, not haphazardly placed in the fic itself, so it was easy to ignore haha. I can laugh at it and maybe even look back at it fondly, but I don’t think I want that particular trend to make a comeback any time soon xmxmdnd

It’s kind of surreal in a way, finding someone who knows exactly what I’m talking about and sharing that mutual experience. I know there have to be more of us out there but I feel like a good chunk of them have probably moved on from anime fandom content so I’m very glad to have found you like this. 💕

I unfortunately got busy with one of my own projects yesterday and didn’t get a chance to read anymore of your stuff, but I’m really looking forward to diving in once I’m done. When I tell you I am 👀 eyeballing the hell out of your Sesshomaru fics cmdkxmdmd

Also, if I may ask, are you by any chance a fan of Yu Yu Hakusho? 🥹

"I don’t know if people really believe me or if I just sound like a hunch backed crone standing on her front porch waving her cane at the neighborhood kids, yelling at them to appreciate what they’ve got because back in my day … but it really was such an incredibly different landscape."

We can both be crones, in that case! But no, I completely get what you're saying. It was SO different. I am genuinely appreciative of the fact that "reader fic" is so popular and the distaste I see for it is mainly "it's clogging up the regular tags" rather than the absolute nastiness that used to be associated with any OCs or inkling of "hey I like these characters, wouldn't it be neat if they wanted me?"

OCs in general were considered taboo enough, but reader fic was just… not a "thing" back in the early 2000s, really, not in the style we know it today. When second person was used, it was usaully meant to be stylized (rather than today where the intent of second person is "reader fic," to pull the reader into the story in a different, visceral way) and second person fics would fall into the OC bucket.

Gosh on that note, I remember "Mary Sue Hunter" groups that would find any OCs on ye olde fanfiction.net and leave reviews with forms to determine how much of a "Mary Sue" someone's OC was.

If you were going to attempt an OC, it felt like you had to make them Super Super Boring and Normal and Ordinary and No Actual Characters Ever Fell in Love with Them (except maybe non-important side characters) in order to get people to leave you alone.

Not that there's anything wrong with writing characters who are ordinary but it rarely felt it was an organic decision from the authors, but rather a reflection of what was "okay" to write.

Fandom is so different now. As you said, there's some things I miss ("don't like, don't read" and "you're responsible for what you read" being the standard etiquette, for one...) but plenty that I don't, too.

Also, if I may ask, are you by any chance a fan of Yu Yu Hakusho?

Yessss. I love it. I have so many discarded OCs from my teenage years from YYH, they were all ridiculously self-indulgent ofc. I do want to at some point write a few yandere YYH characters, but I haven't gotten any inspiration for it yet.

[emotionally-charged-arson]

A Very, Very Unfinished Pile of Theory of Everything Headcanons (Ayreon)

Last semester, my English final was a presentation relating the overall theme of the Forever saga to that of the more popular works of H.G. Wells. Details of that argument aside, the thesis was that Ayreon’s emotional core was the presence of small-scale acts of love juxtaposed against large-scale existential tragedy, balanced in their individual power. That we are messy and self-destructive, and in the grand scheme of things we mean very little in the universe, but we are resilient and alive and human and that has to be worth something.

I really like this aspect of the main story, and it got me a perfect score on that assignment. It had a ten minute time limit and I was fighting for my life to stay under it. While I was downsizing the script, I couldn’t help but think of an earlier idea I had drafted about how The Theory of Everything on its own was a really incredible example of the mad scientist archetype turned completely on its head (it was a science-fiction analysis class). Specifically how that script was almost three times longer than the original H.G. Wells one, that took me a solid twenty minutes to read aloud. 

I literally wrote an hour long lecture about The Theory of Everything. No headcanons. No extra theories. Literally just picking apart its canon plot. 

I think this is why I have so little extra writing for it. The story as its given is airtight and just…fucking incredible. Arjen wrote it with a very clear theme in mind like he did with Transitus, but TToE isn’t missing half of its story because he couldn’t pull in the cash to make a movie out of it. You can feel the intention behind every single character, they feel like real people, it has so many layers to it and it is literally, objectively, the greatest prog album ever made. Fight me. 

But anyways: For lack of better phrasing, there isn’t much to “fix” in that sense. Almost all the headcanons I have for The Source or Transitus boil down to a few things:

I was being self-indulgent with a favorite character and it snowballed into a genuinely informative trait/subplot that informs the main story (a certain hc I have where Henry just fucking shoots Daniel in the back by mistake sometime between Two Worlds and Talk of the Town, turning into this weirdly effective commentary of how Daniel is conditioned to his brother’s shitty behavior and Abby hauling ass to get him out of that headspace)

I am curious about aspects of an album’s worldbuilding and get a little excited while filling in the blanks that were perfectly fine being left alone (doing mental gymnastics trying to build a version of The Source where these five academics, three politicians, two religious figures, one robot and one random spaceman viably know each other)

The rarer option that I am genuinely disappointed by how a part of the story was handled and completely ignore this small part of canon to make the overall story be more effective. Or attempt it, at least (Lavinia’s entire character undermining Transitus’ themes and her contradicting her own motivations, and me, in turn, just writing her character from scratch while keeping with the basic story beats [her seeing ghosts, doing shady shit with Henry, etc.])

But with TToE I’ve felt very little need to do any of these. If I were to really dive into it with intention I think I would start building off of the whole bank robbery plot in Phase III (just a slightly weirdly framed plot point for me), but I haven’t thought about it. It’s not that glaring of an issue and there’s few other places in the story where I think adding anything would make it more effective. 

This isn’t to say that Transitus and The Source are objectively worse in any sense, but they leave a lot more up to interpretation, allowing me to write so many add ons that they become structured and essential to each other’s function. 

It’s fun with those two albums. With TToE I really have to look for cracks to fill and it’s kind of useless. 

Not entirely, though. I’ve got a few hcs, and maybe they’ll warrant dozens of google doc pages of context one day like the other two albums: 

Two central things sparked curiosity. Setting, and how the parent characters came to hate each other that much. Naturally. 

This started four-ish years ago when I was pacing around my parents’ house with TToE on the mind (as it often is), and my brother put on this show called His Dark Materials. I watched the intro to it all of one time and just…knew this was the aesthetic TToE should have.🔗 At least combined with dark academia. It’s an album about physics and ghosts, that seems reasonable enough. 

…funnily enough, as I later found out, His Dark Materials itself has a very dark-academia-esque vibe, and the plot is entirely based upon the intersectionality between science and mysticism and trivial human attempts to make sense of it. 

So. Pretty fitting. 

This really stuck with me, and a handful of the characteristics of the show and books became the basis for the way I picture The Theory of Everything. Mainly the visual aesthetic, like I said, but also the fact that the story starts at a parallel version of Oxford University. I don’t have some giant case study for this like with Transitus/New England. I just think it’d be a cool and vibey setting. Maybe it’s the American in me but there’s something about a thousand-year-old college with a campus made of literal goddamn castles that borders on the fantastic. 

From there, you have a decent excuse for The Prodigy to run off to Ireland, where you can choose from one of like 200 different pretty little isolated lighthouses for him to lose his mind in, far enough away for him not to be found as long as he did. Not to mention it lowkey matches with the overt Celtic influence of the music. Or Scotland, if you want some weather symbolism from the North Sea. 

Solid setting, if I say so myself, and it actually influenced the family’s whole situation. Here, The Father (Mike) is a physics professor at Oxford, and The Mother (Cristina) is the director of the Bodleian Library. It’s how and where they meet in 1991 (though the mother is in an attendant position at the time), as shown by the only part of this I have drawn out:

They hit it off, and marry in 1993. Their first and only child is born two years later and they love him half to death. Everything is more or less nice and normal. 

In 1996, Mike stumbles into “proof,” more or less, of the theory of everything being a singular, solvable equation through his work, practically by accident, and begins focused work on it with enthusiastic support from his wife. Life is going great, Cristina is promoted and the two are balancing things well enough. 

The boy shows little to no social development into his toddler years, but his parents don’t think much of it. His father was similar at his age; they’re not worried. They even go as far to say he’ll turn out just as ambitious and smart as his dad and relatives, coworkers and family friends go along with it, setting insanely high expectations for this literal three year old. Mike keeps working on his theory. 

The boy enters preschool at age four; still no improvement. Just isolates himself and draws indiscernible patterns on everything you put in front of him. His parents finally try to intervene to some degree, hiring private instructors and talking with some other psych/child development people they know through the university, to no avail. Nothing changes. He just stares off into space, doesn’t interact with any of them and supposedly doesn’t pay attention to lessons. He still isn’t speaking. Cristina is finally concerned

Around the same time, Mike makes a significant breakthrough in his work, gaining worldwide attention. He receives massive grants from in and outside of Oxford to continue his work, and quits his teaching job to make more time for the endeavor. Cristina is left as the family’s sole provider. She understands and is in agreement on that decision, that’s not the problem yet. The problem is that Mike is becoming more or less indifferent to their son hits five, not seeing any previously projected greatness he was supposed to have in his father’s footsteps. Cristina, much more conscious of balance in her life and how having kids works, isn’t sure what to make of that. Their relationship starts to strain. 

From there, as Mike keeps working, Cristina takes the kid to all sorts of specialists around England but none of them can pinpoint what’s “wrong” with him. She tries much more actively to connect with him like they’re telling her to (though she still enrolls him in the university’s affiliated primary school program, against their suggestions), bringing him everywhere. Buys him little memory games since that’s all that seems to hold his attention. She’s past any belief of him being some secret genius like his dad, not that her opinion of her husband is super positive at this point anyway. She’s just dead-set on her son having some sense of normal in his life. 

By 2002, Mike has completely secluded himself and works nearly constantly. He has made no progress on his theory since 1999 and the fame garnered from his breakthrough has faded. The family is running out of money and Cristina is exhausted. The boy is ostracized at school and still (almost) totally nonverbal. Her coworkers keep suggesting these weird holistic remedies that she refuses. She knows better than to fall for all that new age, pyramid scheme bullshit. 

The son’s condition, whatever it is, worsens until mom, desperate, puts her foot down in 2008 (or “gives up,” if you wanna put it like that) and drags her husband and son to this private practice in Scotland she was told about by a friend, suspicious but ready to put up with anything at this point. 

😐👍

[cursezoroark]

( waves) just woke up back read a lil and yeah. Once you finish the rebornverse games,there's still a sudden feeling of being stuck, especially with ocs. For me it helps that I have discord friends who bounce off ideas and plots for said ocs, and I'm literally reworking most of my ocs as we speak......but once that's done it's gonna be like " well now what" lol. What I'm trying to say is that I get the fear - and I can certainly say you fit :)

As for potential advice uuuuuuuuh. Well outside of my own methods, playing more fangames may help? Shifting attention to another separate thing might make you become more fueled for the main thing you wanna focus on( rebornverse). Put ur ocs in different aus for funsies ( not all have to be pokemon related). I literally have a whole separate sub with Imani just being a kid and Devil ( I don't think I ever explained him. Don't worry about it) being her parent bc she never got a good parental figure in her youth in canon, and I'm a sucker for big scary assholes getting incredibly soft for their kids. It's purely self indulgent and the sweetest of fluff but it preoccupies my mind a lot. Maybe u can find an au like that too?

....and that's all I can think of right now, lol. I swear I felt I had more advice, but weh. Here's to hoping you feel a little better though! I love your ocs and your work and I hope this big ass ask makes you feel a lil better :) - R

(Waves) It’s very very sweet for u to send anything at all thank u. :] I’m v happy for u, im glad u got your oc roots going with lots of ppl thats Amazing rlly!!

I have played other fangames! A secondary favorite has been Ashen Frost because Holy Shit what a good story and characters. Highly recommend. I think though rebornverse has like. Rlllly good battle systems that makes me like it the very most and is a very driving factor as to why I like them so much. makes me rethinking my base knowledge completely and has enough sandboxing for me to come up with creative teams. The difficulty hits a very niche sweet spot in my pokemon brain. But it isn’t a whole revamp and it doesn’t feel foreign to the concept of Pokemon itself. I’ve played Flux which I’m patiently waiting for because Woah. I have considered Xenoverse but I’ve seen walkthroughs enough to know it’s Not for me. (Though I know why ppl like it!)

As for AUs, I do have one! Only for Mona rlly which is what I Just made Up like 2 hours ago of them being recruited into Team Xen. but for aus to be not Pokemon related it hurts me just a bit cause Pokemon has been the Pinnacle of my creative life (though I have many other interests! Just not. AU worthy for me? Not enough headworms. I also have my timeskip Mercury to work with, and have my Rebornverse Trio Post-game adventure (they go missing for like a good chunk of months to the panic of Everyone) I am rather self indulgent in my ocs in terms of tropes I’m a sucker for as well I fully understand (I don’t know if u can tell but Mona is literally one of my favorite tropes ever by Existing) (like. Hi Kurusu Akira Persona 5r Third Semester Arc lmaoo)

If I were to elaborate on my laments, I always just feel uneasy drifting from the original. But I do agree AUs are Fun and I will indulge them as much as they interest me. the fear of mischaracterizing will always haunt me though I’ve got to learn to accept that it’s Probably Gonna Happen. But I also just love the canon material and want to try expanding on areas if I can find any. TBH this is probably the most fandom invested I’ve been since 2020 (if u can guess which I’ll laugh) where I went art crazy. And of course faced some endeavors because it was 2020 so. Hm. All others were oc murmurs or observations, I’ve never participated in a fandom This much in a long time.

Off topic aside, I’m very grateful for any advice on my rant, I felt better after posting and doodling some random stuff and I feel even better with very kind words. Thank u :] I will just do what I do until I don’t feel like to. I will love these ocs as much as I possibly could! And hopefully show more works of them. I’ve got two comic wips that I’m procrastinating on because I Hate Lineart. So. Hopefully I don’t give up on them :]

[lubotomies]

If you were to rewrite the Pizza comic arc, how would you go about it?

its difficult to say because a lot of the beyond jokes genuinely just arent funny to begin with as a concept. if i were instructed to make a joke about the boys ordering a pizza i would opt out of making it a multi-parter because it just doesnt need to be. they ought to be focusing on making one joke land because quality > quantity. always.

my issue with the pizza arc is mostly with how its just a clean cut example of a LOT of my issues with beyond, one of them being how some employees are incredibly invasive of the series. theres less concern for helping keep the series alive in a respectful manner by people evidently inspired by goulds work and moreso using the giant platform to advertise their own projects and interests. for instance:

kasafraz admitting this younger character is a self-indulgent osomatsu san reference.. lol. like i dont know. it just feels in bad taste. this series is continuing in memory of a man who has passed away. it not only feels invasive but also disrespectful to use this platform to leverage your fandoms. if this were just a random background character it would be completely fine but kas has SAID that this character was designed like this ON PURPOSE to look like an osomatsu san character which is just an ill-mannered intention to have. when you are an artist for a project that is made IN MEMORIAM of someone you do not use that platform for your own interest :( idk it always made me uneasy.

i know it seems like im being extra harsh on the artist kas when i bring this issue up but thats just because some artists are more guilty of this than others ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ kas is definitely not the only one, but does do it the most. so.

to ACTUALLY answer your question: i would probably just have left it at the lame 'no tip?' joke and moved on to the next comic, because truthfully the pizza comic is just not funny enough to have as many parts as it does.

[needyalterego]

ᯓ★ intro

hello and welcome to my Hoard. you can call me any mix of spider, needy, terego, idc 🐛

nb transmasc, they/she/he, pansexual verse. forever a lover of freaky gaylord nerds; taken by my lovely, freaky, lesbian nerd gf. proud demisexual pervert. I got the audhd, and a few more wires crossed (heheh wires)

- this is my blog for being pathetic & gay & incredibly self-indulgent. I’m cool with having mutuals, but I would rather not get personal. feel free to look thru my trinkets for yourself though!

⋆｡˚

Minors and blank blogs DNI.

30+: likes & reblogs are okay, but do not follow me. You will be removed.

𓆝 ༄ ⋆｡ ° ✩

about this blog:

✩ DISCLAIMER: I approach following on here pretty impersonally. any notes I leave are completely platonic, in a passerby kind of sense. If we’re mutuals then we can be parallel kink buddies who caresss 🌈

✩ Random comments, asks, or conversations in the tags are welcome, but please do NOT flirt or seduce me individually. thanks for your respect. I’m not interested in you, even if I love your blog.

‼️ I am prone to randomly reblogging or tagging about my interests at any time, sexual-style ‼️ (yes, this includes the spider-man comics 😔)

✩ I will spam like / reblog if I happen to really enjoy your posts. I really just like to save things. I don’t mind spammers on my blog, either!

✩ Misc. cool photography or music go under the tag #🎱 , and self-help reminders are under #🌤️. I’ve got several other random tags like this bcuz I like organizing.

ꔛ

kinks / tags you may see:

⟣ #sub and #dom are tagged to my own preferences, for when I feel like either.

⟣ there is dubcon here, in almost any tag except #soft. I’m not into much cnc, but a lot of fantasies here are realistically dubious.

limits: ageplay, heavy rape kinks, dd//lg (or any variant), detra//ns, heavy pregnancy kinks, physical abuse, or body modification kinks. common smudge here like racists, genuine misogynists, predators or lo/licons, etc. are a given and will be blocked on sight.

things I 💟: oral, saliva, bondage, desperate sex, teasing, musk/scent kinks, armpits, puppyplay (thanks tumblr), hypno, panting, grinding, dry humping, you get the mix— wrestling, weed, forced or influenced intox, free use/“partyfavor” kink, light s&m: (like choking, slapping, hair-pulling, scratching, or biting,) mlm (or butch4butch) forcemasc, forcefemming, bootfucking, humiliation, breeding (not pregnancy), size difference, some tentacles…. a lot of stuff! I’m really picky on gore, but sometimes I get it. robo-gore isn’t really on tumblr but… yum

⋆⭒ 𓆟 ⋆｡˚ 𖦹 𓆜 ✩⋆

[skelelephant]

sends u, my mutual, a random question/message because we need to do that more!!!! give me one of ur niche terror headcanons uvu it can be completely self-indulgent or just one u hold dear<3 /elliot wllipt 🌟

GASP oh a self indulgent terror headcanon

Well now you’ve given me an excuse to talk about my boy my beloved Tom Hartnell and also John by extension bc I love them both SO very much and tragic sibling relationships makes me dissolve into powder

I think Tom spent a lot of his life following John around, and he was comfortable there. He felt safest trailing behind his brother and so when John died (died incredibly suddenly by what the book tells,) he was sort of. Cut loose. He’d never been on his own like this before in his life bc John had always been there. Which is probably why he fell in with Hickey so easily, cause he was looking for something to fill that empty place.

On a less sad note I think he ends up making better friends with some of the other men after John’s death and his lashing. My self-indulgent thought is that he imprints on Henry Peglar like a baby bird once everyone’s on Erebus, bc Henry Peglar can be very older brother shaped when he wants to be.

I also think if things has been different and hadn’t gone to shit he might’ve wanted to be an Ice Master someday. That’s not based on anything in particular but I think it would be nice for him and I think “ice master Hartnell” has a nice ring to it

[myjackiekennedy]

the impact of phases and fandoms

one thing I realized after the many phases that have run my life, one at a time, is how valuable they are and were to my overall existence. when school wrecked my self esteem and sank me into deep losses of purpose and motivation, my obsession with a book or movie or person gave me a reason to keep my head in the game and served as my motivation to becoming a better, more educated version of myself instead of completely wallowing in my idea of a loss sense of self due to the pressures of school. when i was constantly tired, not wanting or caring to study, wishing the week was over before it even started, and wanting to block out the world when i felt it was unfair or against me, my obsession with harry potter, jackie o, old literature, and more are what reminded me of how valuable exposure to new things was and how they were essential to personal growth. I enjoyed the surge of imagination these delights would give me and how they allowed me hours of daydreaming and indulgence that would have otherwise been overthinking or self-doubt. I paid attention to how happy I became when I opened tumblr or instagram to all the posts from real people about whatever I was currently obsessed with at the time. it made me delighted and brought instant joy to my face after a bad day at school that left me not feeling smart enough. the songs I would discover and the stories and perspectives that would fill me head thanks to the incredibly lively fandoms I would be apart of made me feel like I wasn't alone in my struggles that come with being a teenage girl in school, with the weight of my future harboring my every action. phases are a safe space that don't require anything from you except interest. and when you eventually lose interest in something, that's ok. another interest will follow, and it's just a continuation of the same cycle that teaches, inspires, and strengthens you. the escapism appeal of fandoms gives you a sense of belonging, judgment free. you don't have to earn a spot or work to maintain one, like in school. it's just random people brought together by a shared interest that ultimately improves us while brightening our day.