#this is kinda funny when you consider that i just said that i CAN'T speak turkish 💀

[stuckinakillingjar]

just spoke turkish to a teacher 🥰🥰

[rahuratna]

Thirst Trap

Genre: Fluff, humour, crack.

Characters: Nanami, Yuuji, Ino.

Summary: Ino and Yuuji unwittingly make Nanami IG-famous through a social media post. As the internet's thirst ramps up, Nanami remedies the situation by roping in the two young sorcerers once again.

CW: language.

"Now that's what I call ... "

"A good run!"

"Oh, hell yeah. You're not half bad, Itadori! Just stick close to me, and you'll learn plenty more!"

A warehouse stained with the remnants of dispatched cursed spirits, clothes rumpled and stained with the evidence of hard work and a new student brimming with the desire to prove himself. Now this was Ino's definition of a day well spent. The last, and most proudly worn feather in his cap was the fact that their successful team-up had been overseen by none other than Nanami Kento himself, the man who breathed inspiration into all of his endeavours as a sorcerer.

Speaking of which ...

"Hey, Nanami, what did you think of our work today?"

Striding along at a steady pace behind the two youngsters, the tall, ever-composed sorcerer looked up and adjusted his glasses.

"Hmm. You're both well-coordinated, considering that you've never been teamed up before. You've got good instinctual prediction of each other's movements and I'm quite certain that you may come up with even more effective techniques if you work together in the future."

Ino nudged Yuuji and mouthed the words "Here it comes."

"Having said that, Itadori, some points to consider."

The cheerful boy glanced back at Nanami and gulped.

"Err, yes, Nanamin?"

"Your instincts are important, but you can't always rely on them. Instincts are based on your physical senses and your ability to analyse cursed energy. It takes a great deal of focus to maintain a good hold on both these threads. If a curse user is able to fool your senses, then such instincts can be your downfall rather than your strength."

Yuuji mulled those words over, humming to himself. Ino clapped him on the back.

"You listen to Nanami and you won't go wr- "

"Funny you should say that, Ino. Because I'm pretty sure I taught you to practice caution at all times instead of throwing yourself head-first into a situation because your underclassman is watching you."

Ino winced and rubbed the back of his head, laughing sheepishly.

"Okay, okay. I admit it. Got a bit carried away 'cos Itadori was watching me. Won't happen again."

Nanami grunted in reply and the two younger sorcerers glanced at each other and grinned slightly. Yuuji's stomach chose that moment to rumble loudly in protest of its emptiness.

"Whoa, whoa. Can't have that. Hey, Nanami, what do you say we grab something to eat?"

"I suppose that would be acceptable. What do you propose?"

Ino turned excitedly to Yuuji.

"Since you're the newbie here, you get to choose! Only for today, though!"

"Seriously? Cool! I wanna eat ... hot pot on a day like this. That warehouse was kinda chilly."

Nanami nodded before consulting his phone.

"There's a good place not far from here. Let's go."

The place Nanami chose was somewhat off the beaten track. They left the main thoroughfare at some point, wandering through a maze of backstreets, food sizzling on outdoor grills, murky puddles and cosily lit bars. The restaurant they ended up at had no proper signage announcing the name of the establishment or any indication of their menu.

The food was, of course, incredible. Yuuji's eyes positively glowed with excitement as the steaming hot pot was laid out before them, the perfectly prepared ingredients on the side.

"Ooh, this is amazing! Nanamin, how'd you find this place?"

"I often come across good places to eat when I'm on missions in the area."

Ino shook his head fondly.

"Oi, Itadori, Nanami here is a massive foodie, you know that? You name any part of Tokyo and he'll tell you the best places to eat there. He even knows regional specialties in other areas that are pretty out there!"

Yuuji was now regarding his mentor with new reverence. Nanami coughed and re-directed their attention to the food.

"This is going to get cold. Shall we begin?"

"Oh! Hold on. Gotta record some of this."

Ino pulled out his phone, getting a few snaps and videos of the steaming hot pot from various angles. Now accustomed to his junior's need to record everything, Nanami sighed and began to add ingredients to the steaming soup base, softly reprimanding Yuuji who didn't want too many vegetables.

"It's winter and these are good for you. Make sure to eat the cabbage. It has roughage and the shungiku and carrots have a lot of vitamins. They also reduce inflammation of the muscles after a long day."

While the pot bubbled merrily, Nanami prepped their sauces in small porcelain dishes, mixing a little grated radish into the ponzu and adding some green onion to the sesame. He added ingredients to the main pot in a methodical sequence, placing the thicker parts of the vegetables first, followed by the assortment of mushrooms and the tofu.

Lastly, with Yuuji's mouth now practically watering, he handed over the thinly sliced beef for them to take, each dipping their portion for a few seconds until cooked, his deep murmur guiding them on correct timing. Ino had now set his phone aside and was just as hungry, digging in with relish.

When the meal was over, two stuffed and slightly drowsy youngsters followed Nanami out of the restaurant, the warmth of the food in their system buffering against the cold wind that caught at their clothes.

By the time Yuuji had been dropped back at Jujutsu Tech, he was ready to hit the bath and sleep for a solid ten hours. Loping towards the student dorms, he briefly checked his phone, shooting a quick text at Megumi.

Back from my mission. All good.

The reply came within seconds.

Did I ask?

I met Takuma!

Oh. He's cool.

Very cool. We had supper at a hot pot place.

With Nanami?

Yup. Apparently he's big on food.

I'm going to sleep now.

Check this out. Takuma sent it to me. He kinda forgot he was recording after a while.

Attachment: 1.

Shit, you're making me hungry dumbass.

Lol. Looks good, huh?

Yeah, whatever. Post it on your IG or something.

Humming thoughtfully, Yuuji entered his room and began gathering together some of his bath supplies. He paused at the foot of his bed, head bobbing to some unheard lyrics, fingers tapping against the phone screen that lit up his face in the darkened room.

After a few moments, he dropped the phone face down on his bed, exiting the room with a yawn, the basket of toiletries tucked under one arm. He promptly forgot about his casual IG post, right up until the next morning when he roused from sleep, eyes still slightly gummed together, fingers fumbling until they unlocked the screen so he could check the time ... and he shot upright in confused alarm, spying the flood of notifications that had come in overnight.

Now it has to be said, at this point, that being the easy-going, friendly type, Yuuji had made a lot of connections with others over time. Whether during his years at middle school, his sporting club days, or more recently, his time out and about in Tokyo on various missions, he'd managed to accrue a fair following on social media. While many of those who friended him and sent him the occasional inbox wouldn't be considered close to him by any means, his posts were often noticed and popular amongst them. Such was the nature of his personality.

And so, the video of Nanami with the hot pot, normally something that would fly under the radar if posted by anyone else, became an overnight sensation simply because it reached a much wider audience.

And what was the appeal of such a simple video, you may ask?

Imagine, if you will, a short video with simple tags, such as 'shabu shabu heaven', 'sooo good', 'too many veggies' and 'still so yummy, tho'.

Upon idly playing the clip (because it's a cold evening, and you might be craving some shabu shabu yourself) you're met with quite the sight.

First, a pair of hands come into view. Large, elegant digits, broad palms, perfect and neatly trimmed nails. The strong fingers handle the chopsticks with deft precision, stirring the steaming broth in the pot briefly.

Well now. Those hands would definitely be intriguing enough, but the effect is magnified as you witness the camera shift angle a little. The view pans up to the arms and body those hands are attached to, the subtle ripple of muscle in the broad shoulders that taper down to a slim waist, all wrapped in an expensive looking blue shirt, visible over the polished wood of the table. The man's face isn't visible, adding an element of mystery.

He begins adding vegetables to the pot, and now he really has your attention, because he has begun speaking.

And oh my. That voice.

The soft, smoky suggestion of reprimand as he softly lists the benefits of the food, the crisp enunciation of a man well-spoken, the low baritone that flows with marvellous richness across the riverbed of acoustic static from the bubbling of the pot.

You're captivated now, bringing your phone closer to your ear as you strain to hear more of those quiet, compelling, slightly authoritative tones. And then, the crowning moment of glory, the little gesture that takes this video from a solid nine to an eleven out of ten.

He rolls up his sleeves.

Setting down the chopsticks, those exquisite fingers unbutton the cuffs of his shirt with a practiced motion, rolling up the perfectly pressed fabric and folding it neatly just beneath the elbow on each side. The motion reveals perfectly sculpted forearms, the powerful flex of sinew beneath skin, veins tracing beneath the surface under the dusting of golden hair in the lamplight of the restaurant.

He continues his muted litany of instructions to whoever he is talking to, but at this point, the man could be reciting the Encyclopaedia Britannica entry on tortoises, on repeat, and you'd lap it up like the thirsty little tart you are ...

Ahem. Where was I?

Right. The video, which at that moment, was being watched by you (the imagined viewer) and Reiko from the sales department, and Haruka who you had lunch with just the other day, and Sara who loves to look up cooking videos on a Sunday afternoon, and Sukuna, who sometimes watched videos from inside Yuuji's mind with mild interest, and who momentarily thought "What a fine voice for a mortal worm", and ... you get the idea, don't you?

Ino received a panicked call from Yuuji that same morning. He'd been puttering about in his small apartment, popping some slices of bread into the toaster and frying up an egg for a quick breakfast, when the call had come through.

"Uh, Takuma-senpai? Hi, it's me, Itadori."

"Oh, hey! What's up? Did they team us up again? Sheesh. Didn't take 'em long."

"No, it's ... not a mission. It's about that video you sent me yesterday. The one from the restaurant."

"Hmm ... oh that one! Yeah?"

"See ... uhhh ... oh damn. How do I - So, look. I posted it on my IG."

"Oh, okay. And then?"

"So ... it kind of ... became popular?"

"People like hot pot that much?" Ino chuckled. "But I mean, what's the problem?"

"It's not the hot pot, Takuma-senpai! It's Nanamin!"

Having finally come to the crux of the issue, Yuuji's words were leaving him in a veritable torrent.

"They all saw him in the video and I didn't know! How was I to know? I didn't think they'd... and now there're all these ladies and girls and stuff and they're all ... it's a mess! And I don't know what to do and he's gonna kill me and - "

"Whoa, whoa, slow down, man. I can't make sense of what you're saying. One thing at a time."

"They think he's hot! They're all talking about Hot Pot Honey Muffin! That's what they're calling him!"

Ino promptly spat out his coffee in a fine brown mist.

"Hot Pot Honey what now?"

"Honey Muffin! I can't - Dude. Please, you've got to help me. If Nanamin finds out - "

"Okay. Okay. This is fine. This is ... Listen. Let me go check the video and the comments and we'll handle this. It can't be that bad. And even if that's the case, Nanami wouldn't be bothered by it. His face is not even in the video. Nobody can recognise him. He doesn't even go out that much."

"Oh God, I'm just ... okay. Go check it out. I'll send you a link to the post. Let me know."

After Yuuji had rung off, Ino took a breath and shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. It was just a harmless little video! He'd posted some of these before himself, and there'd never been an issue. So how bad could it be?

It was bad.

The comment section was ... interesting to say the least.

Who is that man? Anyone?

I'd let him stir my pot. Just saying.

That voice. Hnmnnghhh. Smack me on the wrist and call me nawty.

Daddy? Sorry. Daddy? Sorry -

Sir. One chance. Please sir.

Awjejdbavzbzbahsb pls ur bunny hash been a bad bad gurl

Unf, bouta make that ahegoa face rite now

And, rising above the cloud of steaming, churning, thirsty commentary, that rare peak of social media strata, the dreaded moniker that had found its place from the comment of one of the many new fans that Nanami had found for himself, Hot Pot Honey Muffin.

Ino, in spite of the chill that went up his spine and the momentary panic, knew what had to be done immediately. They had to show Nanami. Keeping something like this a secret would only make things worse with time.

True, Nanami wasn't the kind of man who drew attention to himself, but with the video now as popular as it was, it was entirely possible that someone in a shop, restaurant or one of his other frequent haunts in the local area might just recognise him. He would have to be warned, and even though Yuuji had long since taken the video down, it had been re-posted and there needed to be some kind of technical damage control.

Wracking his brain, Ino hit upon a great idea. Ijichi was known to have connections who could scour the internet for traces of curse activity that might be caught on camera and erase such evidence. Surely something similar could be done about this? If he phrased his request as something urgent, something that could affect Nanami's ability to do his job, then surely they'd take it into account?

With this new burst of inspiration, Ino threw on his jacket and headed out the door to Jujutsu Tech.

"And so ... yeah. That's ... how the matter stands. We're worried about someone recognising you because of how popular this became."

This was worse than he thought. Admitting to a mistake was always difficult when it was Nanami who was hearing you out. Standing in front of him in the staff lounge like two contrite five-year-olds caught with their hands in the cookie jar, Ino battled the instinct to hide behind Yuuji.

He was the older one here, and the one who had recorded the video in the first place. He had to bear the full responsibility for what had happened and be man enough to tell Nanami. How else would he earn his (eventual) respect and admiration?

The sorcerer seated before them heard them out in terrifyingly passive silence before sighing and removing his shades, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Just when I think nothing can surprise me any more ... "

"I'm so sorry, Nanamin!" Yuuji blurted out. "I ... I didn't know ... I mean ... "

"Well, what's done is done. May I see this video, if you please?"

Ino nudged Yuuji  who stepped forward and handed his phone over reluctantly. Their discomfort grew as Nanami watched, a slightly puzzled expression on his face. The video ended and he looked up at them, frowning.

"All right. I can see why you didn't think anything of posting this, Itadori. The video itself is ... ordinary enough. It's simply showing a portion of me and the hot pot. So, why the attention?"

"Uhh ... "

The younger sorcerers glanced at each other. Ino cleared his throat.

"Well ... see, the thing is ... in the video, you kinda come across as ... I dunno ... kinda hot? At least, that's what the viewers seem to think."

"Me?"

Nanami looked incredulous and Yuuji gestured meekly to the phone.

"Just ... read the comments, Nanamin. I took the video down, but people re-posted it, so ... You'll see."

And Nanami began to read. Ino winced as he remembered the top comment, the one that would probably be first on the long list.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Your voice gets me wet Just like shabu shabu

Nanami's eyebrows were rising as steadily as the steam that emanated from the tea pot at his elbow, long forgotten. He eventually handed the phone back to Yuuji, clearing his throat.

"Well."

"Yeah."

"So ... "

"Hmmm."

"Right?"

"Yes."

Yuuji waved his hands desperately.

"But ... we're gonna handle this, right Takuma-senpai?"

"Oh yeah, definitely. I was thinking, you see. Ijichi might be able to use his network to find and remove the content from all media platforms. He's been able to do it before. I can make a request."

Nanami folded his arms and thought for a moment.

"I see. Yes, that would be possible. However, I'm against the idea of using Jujutsu Tech resources and manpower for a request such as this. That same time and processing power could be poured into much more vital concerns. Who knows how many lives could be placed at stake while we use the tools we have for something like this? No. I think another solution must be found."

Ino's shoulders sank under the weight of the knowledge that Nanami was right, as usual. But that left few avenues for removing the video. How else would they prevent this from blowing up further?

"I get it. What you're saying makes sense. What are we gonna do, though?"

"Ah. About that." Nanami lifted a prim finger. "I have an idea."

Yuuji stared at him, dumbfounded.

"You do?"

"Yes. But we will require some help. And some ... expertise on putting together a video."

It was then that Ino felt an even greater chill settle into his very bones as he witnessed something truly rare and unprecedented, something that did not bode well for him and Yuuji at all.

Nanami smiled.

It was Nobara's skill with outfits and make-up, and Inumaki's talent for setting up a scene, that had led to their current predicament. Yuuji's hair had been dyed black, his eyebrows darkened. Nobara's contouring prowess had rendered his face rounder and younger-looking, eyes magnified behind very large, thick lenses. He wore a red t-shirt with a skimpily dressed anime girl printed on it and an oversized purple jacket that disguised his lean, athletic form.

Ino had also undergone a drastic transformation. His dark hair had been shaved at the sides, the top styled into extreme spikes, tinted acid green at the ends. He had been provided with a fake eyebrow piercing and an artfully applied temporary tattoo that curved up the side of his neck, appallingly visible by the standards of society.

They sat at one of the countertops in the student dorms, the background serving as an adequate stand-in for a kitchen in someone's home. Nanami was standing opposite them, wearing his usual blue shirt and tan trousers, his sleeves remaining unfolded this time around.

Inumaki gave one final check to the camera before giving them a thumbs up.

"Salmon roe."

And the recording began.

On the counter, various dishes had been set up, all prepared in advance. They looked delicious, but you wouldn't think so, judging from the expressions of the two young men seated in plain view.

Ino grunted irritably, giving the camera a thousand-yard stare that looked very incongruous on his normally cheery face.

"Do we have to do this shit?"

Yuuji stared gormlessly into space, before laughing obnoxiously and picking his nose.

"Yeah, cos Dad said if we did we could go to that one restaurant where the waitress looked like Hatsune Kiku."

Ino's scowl deepened.

"Tch. Typical. Shit for brains here is on about that dumbass idol again."

"Now, now, boys." Nanami's voice came from across the counter, deep, polished, and a huge contrast to the two choice morsels of hellspawn sitting opposite him.

"Eat your dinner. If you're both good, we'll go to that show next week."

Yuuji's face brightened immediately.

"You mean the one where they dress up in bikinis and wrestle in the mud?"

"No, not that one."

Ino smirked.

"Ha. In your face, rat-breath."

"Be nice to your brother."

"Whatever. What are you feeding us now, old man?"

"I made katsudon. And some vegetables on the side."

"But I wanna eat omurice," Yuuji whined, thumping his fists on the table.

Nanami chuckled. "Ah, you remind me so much of myself at your age, son."

Ino rolled his eyes before tugging a steaming bowl towards himself.

"Seriously? You were this much of a loser?"

"I meant that I liked omurice too."

"Daaaaddd, please can we have omurice."

"Eat what's in front of you. Come on."

Ino stuck his chopsticks into the bowl, churning the beautifully prepared meal into an unappetizing mush.

"Huh. It tastes okay. Now give me a nice hot barbecue and I'd be really stuck in, ya know?"

"Oh, Hatsune Kiku likes barbecue, but she says, in her interview with Doki Doki magazine, Issue five hundred and three, that she can't eat too much of it, 'cos it gives her gas and - "

"Can you shut the hell up about that green haired freak for like, two seconds?"

"Kiku is not a freak!"

"Are you two eating?"

This earned a blessed silence for a few seconds, while the two 'sons' masticated in a manner that was singularly unappealing. When they were done, Nanami produced two bowls of caramel pudding and slid them across the counter, allowing his hands and arms in their blue sleeves to be briefly caught on camera.

"Well, here's dessert."

"Oohhh, pudding." Yuuji grabbed the bowl and moved it around slightly, watching the pudding jiggle. "Hehehehe. It bounces just like Kiku's - "

"Oh, for fuck's sake, you creepy - "

"Language, boys."

"Urgh. I hope I'm getting paid for this. Hanging out with this loser is taking years off my life."

"He's your brother. You two have to look after each other when I'm gone."

"Like fuck I will. He's gonna become a NEET however you see it."

"Then it's up to you to set a good example for him."

"Ha. Me? The second you're in the ground, I'm gonna take the money and buy myself that sweet, sweet little Kawasaki Ninja, then I'm gonna hit the road."

"You'll see things differently with time. Look at me. I was the splitting image of you back then. I settled down nicely."

"Ugh, whatever. I ain't gonna settle down. Now where's my cash?"

"Finish your pudding first, son."

The video, released from a burner account set up by Inumaki, spread as quickly as the first one had. In the days that followed, gossip spread in social media circles about 'Hot Pot Honey Muffin' and his two god-awful sons. The rhetoric around him changed drastically. It turned out that having children, like the boys played so charmingly by Ino and Yuuji, was a huge turn-off to most people.

The two young sorcerers certainly served their time when it came to punishment. It took ages for the tint to grow out of Yuuji's hair and he cringed every time he saw Hatsune Kiku on TV. Ino developed a very strong aversion to bikes for a while and found it hard to stomach pudding. They both decided to deactivate their IG accounts for a while.

Nanami read some of the new video's comments shown to him by Inumaki with some satisfaction.

Can you believe those are his kids?

How the heck is he raising them?

And the younger one. EWWWWWWW.

The older one looks like he microwaves pigeons for fun.

Roses are dead, Violets are a lie, I saw your children, And my pussy is dry.

Nanami adjusted his shades before looking up at Inumaki and nodding gravely.

Success.

[cyrusthedragon]

Mother of his child

Explicit ‼️ MDNI ‼️ NSFW 18+

I promised and I did: Simon sucks his wife's titties while talking about a big happy family with her.

Relationship: Simon Ghost Riley / f!Reader

Tags: porn with plot, dominance, married couple, rough sex, established relationship, breastfeeding, creampie, LOTS of dirty talk, some of spit play, LOTS of milk, LOTS of breeding, LOTS of 'mama'-calling, nasty stuff, happy family fluff for aftercare, size kink, sex after some time, no "Ghost", babying Simon.

Simon Riley really loves his wife, like... possessively. Almost obsessively.

Notes:

f!Reader gained weight after giving birth, and she has too much milk. Greedy and perverted Simon can't think about her selling her milk to people who have feeding problems. He's jealous.

You and Simon serve(d) together.

(Kinda, cuz it's funny, but not actually) Bossy!Reader in the end.

You and Simon have a newborn child.

Trigger warning: English isn't my first language, so, please, write a comment if I did a good job, I need to know if it's good, cuz I'm not really sure. But i enjoyed writing it! You can subscribe to me, I'll write a lot more about him! And I take requests, hehehe, especially most dirty ones. So. Please, enjoy ♥️

AO3

"You'll bore a hole in me..." you said under your breath, touching baby girl with just your fingertips and not taking your eyes off of her.

Simon immediately straightened his back, paying attention to the book in his hands again, and you chuckled softly:

"What's going on in your mind, baby?"

Silence in the room, only a soft melody from somewhere in the house, and the three of you sitting in your bedroom: you, feeding your precious baby girl, she, smacking from the delicious milk, and your husband, trying to pretend he's reading his book. Considering how he didn't touch a single page for the last fifteen minutes, he was either repeating that one spread or trying to memorize it all.

Or just being a pervert.

It's Simon we're talking about, no one on Earth would ever suspect him of thinking about something nasty, but... You were his wife. Mother of his child.

You knew there was something in those blue eyes of his - he looked at you exactly like that one day when you... When you decided to have a child.

You weren't, actually.

It was an accident.

But when you told him about your pregnancy and asked if you should take a Plan B, for one moment after that horrific word, he looked at you, almost shaking from nervousness, with something in his eyes that you recognized as a... Reluctance? "Yeah," he cleaned his throat, moved his gaze away because, obviously, the floor was way more interesting than a damn pregnancy test in your hands, "yes, you're right, Plan B... We shouldn't.. we should, uh...". Words have never been one of his strengths, if you were not in bed.

You looked at him trying very hard to say something, and one thing in him just matched you so perfectly, that for one second you thought maybe.. maybe...

"Can we keep-"

"What if we..."

You said it at the same time, and neither you nor he understood who was saying what, but the excitement was so loud, that you couldn't resist impulses to grab his hands. Neither could he help but stretch out his arms to you and hold you to give you a hug, even if he himself was just as terribly scared.

That shit was scary. No doubt.

It would not have been that horrifying if not for these thoughts of yours. Common.

"If we..." you heard Simon speaking, felt him swallowing loudly, "Maybe, if.. maybe we can..."

"Can keep it?" you helped, squeezing him with all your strength just to feel yourself safe. "You think we can?.."

"I think... I think I want to, but.."

"You want?"

And that was the moment when you moved away a little to look him straight in the eyes, seeking there for something you weren't sure exactly what.

"Yes?.." he answered under his breath. As freaked out as you were. Of course, he was. Both of you were soldiers, to the core. No one of you ever dares to dream about having a baby... It's a huge responsibility, and neither he nor you thought you could handle it, that's why you always used protection to minimalize your chances. It doesn't mean you didn't want to - hell yes you wanted, especially with Simon, and the more you got to know him, the better you understood he wanted this, too.

A family.

A real family, bonded with each other, someone you can hold in your hand and give all your love, all your affection, untapped awe for having something you and Simon created together. Holy hell, you married a dead man, did you think you had no strength for a little human? Just a baby? It took almost half of a year for you and Simon to finally get married, you took his last name and did it with all your patience, although the boys in one-four-one started calling you Mrs. Riley a long time before you became Mrs. Riley, and all these troubles, years of waiting for something with him, all this situationship, candy-bouquet period, all of it...for being afraid of having a child? It can't be that ha-

You were selfish.

Thinking about yourself, not your baby, who would most likely live alternately with one parent, then with the other - depending on which one of you would be called for a mission. You knew it. You knew you can have your parental leave, for twelve weeks, and, and, and...

"..ve. Love!" you shuddered - Simon rarely used to raise his voice at you, and often it was because of how easily you were distracted by thinking about something very important to you. You lose your patience when you were afraid of something. You blinked, looked up at him, and suddenly he was so calm that you were immediately infected by his calmness, without realizing it. "Breathe, love," he whispered, holding your face in his palms, so huge compared to your head. "Do you want to keep her?" and when he asked, looking you dead in the eyes, he already knew your answer, but...

You breathed out: "Her?"

Eyes to eyes, one very important dialogue without a single word between you, your shiny to his bright, deep ocean blue. "I want a girl," he whispered, not even blinking. "I want a boy", you said lowing your voice to match his, and he nodded, pulling you closer to touch your forehead with his. "Then... Let's see who it will be," Simon's lips were so close to yours, you half closed your eyes, pressed your lips into a tight line, and then closed them completely when he murmured in your mouth before kissing you full of his endless gratitude: "...shall we?"

And that was it.

You lost your little bet and were very happy about it.

The little one was happy, too, sucking milk, already ready for her beauty sleep, so beautiful, and a bit... sassy, biting your swollen nipple with per pink gums, making you hiss and chuckle softly. She had her father's shiny eyes. Your love. Your precious child.

"Simon, darling, you're staring." You finally moved your eyes from your daughter to your husband, smiled at him and he could no longer pretend he was reading his book. He wasn't. "Am I?" you heard him sighing, but his gaze started to be a little more... heavier than a second before you decided it was enough for baby girl and took her away from your chest. "Yes, darling, you are," your voice softened, small one whined, lying on the bed, twitching her hands and feet, and you giggled: "What a greedy creature... Never enough for her." But she quickly calmed down - the music changed to a comforting lullaby... You could finally get up and stretch your legs, fix your dressing gown, and move to Simon, sitting on the armchair.

"You didn't answered my question."

Baby monitor right behind your girl, and you allowed yourself to go straight to the kitchen - hungry as hell, while Simon simply followed your steps God knows why.

"What question?" He asked, watching you getting your snacks.

Bare feet, loose hair, mid-thigh gown, and the wet spots in it, right in front of your nipples. You're still leaking. And mouth-watering. And holy shit he just can't stop looking at your covered chest, how heavy your breasts are, how they freely jiggle when you're just moving. "Simon." he can't hear you, all his nature is focused there where your nipples touch your closes, these eyes are wild. You watched him, busy analyzing your chest or whatever, and didn't get yet the hell was wrong, but it's Simon, so... Whatever he was thinking about he would tell you, sooner or later.

But you didn't expect 'sooner' will be that...soon.

You turned your back to him to find something in the fridge and gasped when he suddenly lifted you, sitting you on the table, face to him. "Riley, the hell are you?!-" and then you met his eyes again.

Truly, wild.

"What? Eat your food, love." his voice was strange, he completely was strange, something just cracked in you, a blush appeared in your cheeks immediately, then he pulled back the gown and your hand trembled, accidentally dropping a snack on the floor.

He bared your chest with a face like nothing happened, and you swallowed your tongue like a proper coward, did not know how - did not want to - stop him and did not even try to interrupt whatever he was going to do. You felt the shivers down your spine - his hands on your ribs, fingertips almost tickling you, forcing you to smile, but there was nothing to smile about, just your husband being odd and making your legs shake with just his hands.

God, you didn't touch him for almost six months...

"I can't," you whispered, shutting your eyes while feeling his hand off you and somehow knowing for sure he was pulling his mask up to his nose.

"Why?" The hoarse voice of his just drove you crazy. Your brain was about to explode with this sudden satisfaction he brought to you by massaging your torso and jelly belly, and you couldn't answer properly: "Because you... What are you... Just take what you want already." You hissed, and maybe it would be fear for him to feel embarrassed by your tone and hands, hugging his head, but he did not care anymore or simply did not understand that, so he just... Did it.

You felt his wide tongue in front of your nipple.

And you inhaled.

"Simon... Simon, what are you doing, Simon..."

Your voice was less caring than you wanted it to be, and he didn't even look at you to answer: "Joining you to eat a snack."

"Oh I'm a snack now, wonderful..." words came out of your mouth before you shut it, "You little pervert, are you seriously going to su-... Oh, god."

Tongue swept all over your breast before Simon straightened up to his full height - and even though you were sitting on the table, he had to tilt his head to look at you. Giant. His gaze was much heavier than before, his pupils bigger, his brows furrowed to let you know, he was ashamed of you:

"That's how your talking to a baby, love?" Simon murmured and you did not even try to believe what you heard. He continued, seeing your confusion: "I see... I'm no longer your baby, am I?"

"Wha-.."

Oh.

'"What's going on in your mind, baby?"'

So that's what it was all about.

"You pervert," you said, watching him laying you down on the table and towering over you like he was some kind of mountain of muscles. This whole situation was quite crazy, and you swallowed, losing all your boldness just because of how dominant he became, taking your hands in his one so tightly that you couldn't move your fingers if you wanted to. Breath-taking Simon. First, you met on your first night together. A completely different person than what you usually see. His gaze was on you, examining you - how the fabric glided effortlessly over your body, showing up your ribs, tummy, chubby sides (you gained some weight after giving birth and were a little worried about it, but the way he cravingly looked at your fat...), your white panties, already wet for him. Of course, you were wet. He was between your legs, holding your hands, ready to eat you up.

"'Baby?..'" you whispered under him, trying to move your feet, but his other hand grabbed your knee abruptly and pushed it aside, leaving you completely open to him. "Don't try to hide, mama," you gasped at his words, heart started beating faster, and his head lowered to touch your belly with his lips. Soft and full. "It's nothing you need to be ashamed of.. if it's not me. Are you ashamed of me, mama?". Impossible, how he affected you with this damn 'mama' spoken by his powerful, quiet voice, "You don't need to be ashamed. Didn't you say today that your breasts are full? Don't you remember?".

You swallowed your saliva, chest up and down, and your voice cracked when Simon slightly touched underneath your filled breast, "I said we can sell it... There are many people with.. problems with.. with feeding. Simon, what are you-"

"Stop asking. You don't trust me?"

"I do, but-"

"No 'but'."

You should've said something, but when he grabbed your tit with his wide palm, compressed your nipple lightly between the index and middle fingers, everything that was in your head vanished immediately. Milk ran out over his fingers, to his wrist, and tangled in his short hair above the tattoo. "So easily, mama," he murmured, following the drop of your milk, "you're so full.. and you wanna give this to someone else? You wanna take it away from our daughter? Deprive her of that, mama? Is that what you want for her?"

You just said there's too much milk in you, useless milk, because your girl never starved, but the mere idea of giving part of you to someone who wasn't his child, just made him so, so jealous. You choked - Simon pulled your nipple with his fingers as if in punishment.

"No, no, of course not, I just wanted..."

And then the moon fell:

"You can give it to me." Your eyes widen in shock. And you saw him raise his milk-stained hand and watched his tongue follow the line from elbow to finger, licking your juice. "Sweet..." He murmured, "So sweet, so delicious..." And before you even realized, he sat you up at that table, wrapped his hand around you, and pressed his open, greedy mouth to your milking breast, moaning, like it was the best thing he ever tasted. A cry escaped your lips, you instantly grabbed his head, closed your eyes tightly - your nipples were so, so sensitive after feeding, and now he almost ate 'em. Shivers ran through your body, every cell was tense, trembling legs closed behind his back, as if locking him with a fuckin' padlock pressed against your body, yet still fully dressed. "Madman," you whined, squeezing the back of his balaclava, "you're a madman, Simon Riley, you're out of your mind...Teeth-!" Your sob forced him to let go of your chest with a loud smack, just like your baby did before, and the marks of his teeth were clearly visible on the soft, full flesh around your nipple.

"Watch your teeth- god, you-" you cried out, almost ready to hit him on the back, but then he, stooped, suddenly looked up at you, so innocent, so open, that something in your gut began to tighten. "Something wrong, mama?" He said, and you miraculously felt how his second hand was lost between your thighs. Breath didn't want to recover, he clung to you, pressing his cheek against your chest, and milk flowed out of you harder.

"No..." You answered, not sure if he's a pervert for calling you 'mama', or you for enjoying it so much, "Nothing wrong, baby... Just.. watch your teeth, okay?" Eyes to eyes, without a blink, you sucked air through your teeth and slowly put your trembling hand at his half-covered cheek, stroking until he closed his eyes, "You want to be good for mama, don't you, baby?"

"Mhm", he whispered, kissing your hand softly.

You didn't know your first sex with Simon after such a long time would be like that, but his finger, just one, was in your underwear and it pressed your clit so good, that you almost lost your mind, tilt you head back.

"I will be good for you, but I'm so mad at you..." Suddenly his voice softened and your hips tensed; his palm was fully in your panties, squeezing your cunt, pressing the middle finger to the entrance.

"Why mad, baby?.."

"I'm so mad you want to give yourself to someone else, mama," and when he opened his eyes, his finger entered you on the first finger phalanx, you hold your breath and bit your lip - you forget how big his fingers were, one of his like two of yours, and there was no lubricant, just your sloppy juices. Every tiny scar on his finger was fully felt, every callus, every cut. "You wanted to share yourself with hell knows who. That's how you feel about us, love? Is that it? Instead of giving everything to your, to my child, our child, you were going to.. what?" finger thrust further, you gasped, he pressed you into himself tighten. One small kiss to your neck and you already was useless, when he lifted you again and whispered in your ear while carrying you to the couch and putting you on his thighs so that you could lay down on him completely naked.

You don't need clothes, do you?

"You were going to waste it, love." He continued. "Instead of calling me, your husband, to help you."

"Help me with what?.. sucking this milk?.."

"Exactly, love."

You would've chuckled, but then there was a crack and your torn panties fell to the floor.

He tore them on you.

Animal.

"Beast..." You whispered, putting your head on his shoulder and feeling him squeezing your tits once more with both his hands.

"Me?" Simon's soft laughter was almost unbelievable, "No, no... I'm not. You are. A little cow, mama. Leaking your sweet milk. Just like a cow. Allowing me to drink it..." he pressed his face into your chest, threw you back, milk splashed from your nipples and hit him right on the balaclava, "What a mess you are. You're looking? Look carefully." fingers squeezed one nipple, twisted, pulled, milk splashed in all directions, flowed all over your chest and down to your torso, and his hands, warm, making you whine and mumble in pain in half with pleasure, just like a cow. "Oh love, and not just here. Don't take your eyes off, watch how wet you are, you ruined my clothes," his second hand went down to your groin, suddenly you wanted to cover yourself, but his middle and index fingers had already opened your vulva, revealing his hungry gaze your lower lips. "Look at you, you're soaking, mama... Do you hear it? That's your sound."

The sloshing of your juices as he circled around your entrance, the crackling of his clothes as you squeezed his shoulders, your whimpering as he purposely ignored your hard clit - all this cacophony was his symphony for your ears, and only yours.

"You sound so well, love..."

"Simon.. Simon, please, Simon..."

"What 'please'?"

"Simon, please, I want to kiss you..."

"Kiss me then."

"No! No! Please, Simon, I want to kiss you so bad... Please let me just-" and your shaking fingers touched the edges of his balaclava, throwing aside.

Scars.

Scars all over his face.

His bright eyes, his short blond hair, and all these scars made him look way older than he was. Breath-taking Simon.

You couldn't resist the impulse to praise him like he always secretly loved:

"You're so beautiful..." Fingers ran over his cheeks, cheekbones, brows, nose, lips, so kissable, you pressed your mouth to his with a hiss, feeling Simon again in you with his whole finger. "Damnit, baby..." You said, silencing him by taking his tongue with yours.

His hand on your ass, his finger fucking you, so tight girl, he loves feeling your walls around him, up and down - you got up on him, fucking yourself with his finger, and lowered to feel how he put his second finger to your entrance. Your breath hitched as he broadened your entrance, slowly pushing himself inside. Juices sloshing, his panting against your neck, his other hand gripping your ass so hard it threatened to bruise it, and his fingers fucking you like he was re-examining you - twisting the hand, pushing in, speeding up and massaging your inner lips and your clit, making you moan so loud, thank god rooms were soundproof. "I want to be inside you so bad, mama..." You heard him, hissing in your skin, biting it with his sharp teeth, you could've just hugged him tighten, "So wet, so delicious, look at you, how beautiful you are, ready to carry my second child...are you ready, mama?"

"Second child?.." you whispered barely audible, eyes watering from his aggressive pounding, and almost whining when the sound of unfastening the belt reached your ears and the cold steel of its plate touched your hot skin.

"Of course," and he didn't even stop pounding you, that dirty pervert; pulled his boxers down, letting the cool air touch the head of his cock. Red, wet head. Big. Thick. You didn't have to look at it to instantly lower your palms down and, howling like a wild dog, grab his cock with your both hands. "Fuck, love..." He cursed, clutching your ass, "You missed me, huh? Did you?"

"I did, I did, so much, baby, so much..." your trembling voice, your confident hands stroking his already hard fat dick, your cunt, shrinking from the memory of how sweetly he filled you that last time before your pregnancy... You, cock-drunk, beneath him, full with his thick hot sperm and covered by it all over your body - your ass, your vulva, your belly, your face; he came so much then, it was your first night together after you both returned from your mission. And now you can have it again... Finally.

"Pink on your cheeks suits you, love," he murmured, stroking your cheek like you did with his, "but I prefer your tears..." and before you even understood, his tongue already was on your face, licking off salty tears, mumbling, moving his hips to you while you jerked him off. "Everywhere... Wet everywhere... Did you always have been such a dirty fat slut?.. Crying, milking, soaking... I can eat you alive. Show me your mouth," he took his hand off your butt, roughly opened your mouth, looked, "Oh, I see... Would you mind, if I-"

And you felt his saliva on your tongue before Simon finished his sentence.

"There you go, such a good girl..."

But he didn't even think about letting you swallow his spit, and while you were trying to get back into rhythm, drunk on his saliva, he threw you onto the sofa, covering you from above, like a goddamn wall: "No, no, don't close your mouth." An animal, a real beast, twice your size, towered over you, mocked you, deprived you of his fingers and you could only helplessly scratch his hands near your head and push your pelvis in him, trying to somehow sit on his cock with your pathetic leaky pussy. "Don't close your mouth, you don't want me to fuck you, mama?" Sly bastard, so different, so cold, so soft for all of them, role model, best fighter, squad pride...Made fun of you, so turned on. You nearly hated him for this, but couldn't deny how you loved him above you.

"I want," trembled lips parted, saliva flowed slowly down your tongue to its root, your heavy breath was the only music for him.

"You want? Then be good for me, and I'll be good for you, mama, your good, good baby boy, mama... I would be anything for you, open your mouth, open it, let me fill you everywhere, will you, please?"

You barely had time to grab his short hair when he pressed his mouth to your mouth, but your tongues did not touch each other, you only shared your breath with him, as you always did, and when the tip of his fat cock touched your entrance, you held your breath, feeling how, along with his length, ripping you apart, widening you, inch by inch, he poured into you also his spit. Thick saliva - that's how hungry he was for you, his mouth was full of this viscous liquid.

"Good mama," words were hard for you, he closed his eyes, stopped at how tight you were, grabbed your leg, and slung it on his belt, thrusting deeper into you. Each vein on his long cock, each brought so much pleasure to extremely tight you... It was nearly impossible to move, but he always was stubborn and even when the drop of sweat ran over his neck, he continued entering you, sadistically slowly. "Relax for me," he almost begged, and you whispered:

"I've already..."

"So that's how tight you actually are, then, huh?" Seems Simon was starting to lose patience, fingers of one hand pressed on the upholstery of the sofa near your head, the second he squeezed your breast as if in revenge: "I almost forgot how it's like...when you're not in the shape of my cock." he sucked in air through clenched teeth, staring into the tears in your eyes, like he wanted to lick them again, "But it's okay..." He continued, thrusting you exactly to halfway of his cock, "We have plenty of time to make you perfect for me again, love. It's okay. I'll fuck you 'til you'll be open for me every time I want to fill you with my cum. You like my cum?" you cried, his heavy hand gave a slap on your ass, "Of course you do... Mama's such a slutty thing, she's always ready for me to cum in her, give her so much of my sperm, so she can give birth to our future big family."

"Big..." You whined about how he was ripping you with his dick, demonically slowly to the very core, to the root. You felt the warmth of his full, heavy balls, as he promised, filled with his cum just for you, and your back arched in an unthinkable angle, as soon as you felt the coarse hair on his groin.

"Yes, love, big family," and even his mumbling reached you with difficulty, you suffered on him, scratched him, beat, squeezed him with your legs, wriggled like a snake, and he hung over you, indestructible, like a rock, tried to take a breath from the pain in the cock. "Me, you, our children, so many children..."

And there was the first thrust.

Right on the nerves.

Until the pitiful cry and eyes rolled back.

Big, big, big-

So fucking big-

"What, you can't handle me anymore?" his hoarse rough voice came from above and your body shook as he thrust into you and slap your thigh, leaving the big red shape of his five fingers. "How you're going to have my children then? Be the mother of my babies, raise 'em, feed 'em with that delicious milk of yours-" Simon compressed one of your nipples again and you choked on a scream as the milk spurted freely up. "Dirty, dirty mama..." Was his only response.

And he fucked you.

To the cries, putting all his strength into you, moaning loud and clear, just like you love, forcing you to beg for his cock, but already fuckin' you, watching your tits jiggle and milk splash everywhere, spoil his clothes, get on your cheeks. To legs shaking, to an exhausted body, growling in your face how much he's going to cum in you so that you burst from his sperm, pregnant with his children, forever, for your whole life, so everyone, every fucking single one from everywhere could see whose are you, who you belong to. This belly, squishy and fatty, this face, these tits, hips, legs, feet, mouth, this milk, and other juices, these eyes, beautiful, beautiful eyes, these delicious lips, this heart and soul - all, all for him and his children, all for the Riley family, all of it for them and no one else, no one fuckin' else. You're trapped here, you're never gonna leave this man and his child, you belong to them with your whole being, you understand that? Do you, mama? Do you understand there's no escape, he would fight Death if that sucker would ever allow himself to at least think about taking you away from Simon; he would fight Death, and he would kill it because no one has the slightest right to take even a piece of you from him.

"Mine," he groaned, sinking his fangs into your neck, suddenly grabbing you by the waist and lifting so that you sat on his cock as tightly as physically possible, and kept fucking you, beating out from you every moan, every deep scratch your nails left on his shoulders as you bathed his neck with your tears. Pressed into each other, like two halves of a whole, crazy, lost in each other, interwoven, and you won’t understand where you begin and he ends. Your cunt hurts, but the pain is so sweet that you're not sure you want to cut it, you're not sure you want him to stop, to be more gentle, not pounding you like a fucking hammer, and the angle is so right - you can feel not just his dick deep inside you, but how your clit is stimulated by him, his rough movements. Oh, this beast, this madman, this insane man... So insane just for you. You cried out, moaned: "Simon... Simon! Simon!" as if it was the only thing you remembered in your life, and the rubbing of your bare nipples against his outer clothing forced you to snuggle closer to him and at the same time as if trying to get away from him.

He was no longer there, he was all inside you, thrusting you like it was his last day, angry, but carrying you so perfectly that you could've let yourself lay on him, and you knew he would never let you fall.

"Simon, Simon, listen, listen to me, please-" your trembling voice almost vanished in all these sex sounds, but he pushed you closer (there was no 'closer') and you simply whined: "Simon, I'm going to cum, I'm going to cum, I'm going to- I want to cum so bad- please, Simon, I wanna cum, I want you to cum, please, cum with me, please-" Your fingers pulled back his hair. You yourself pulled back, arched in your back, and instantly your muscles contracted on his cock, forcing him to fall, falling with you on the soft sofa. A little more and he would've crushed you with his weight, but with a desperate groan he managed to grab your hands and, lacing your fingers together, lean on them to hang over you, not for a second slowing down the speed of his deep, passionate thrusts.

Your useless legs struggled to stay on his lower back, your breasts were shaking painfully and you felt the blessing of heaven when he clung to you, pressed, as tightly as it was physically possible, and instantly squeezed you in both his hands. "Cum for me," he moaned in your ear, his veiny cock almost touched your uterus, but it seemed that if he wanted to, he would fuck your womb just to impregnate you. "Cum for me, mama, let me see how happy you are to be pregnant for me, just for me, showing people how you love me, scream, mama..."

Heavy breathing, deep unforgiving pounds, bursting cock, burning heart, nails scratching his strong broad back, ribs compressed with iron arms - and you, so tiny compared to him, you, so little, so fragile looking in his arms... were ready for anything for this man. "Cum for me," he ordered, grunted, and you tensed on him, squeezed him with all your might to his own loud moan, and tears gushed from your helplessly rolled eyes. His moans, low but beautiful, just for you, were the only thing you heard in your petite mort.

And his seed filling you, hot, thick, was the only thing you felt.

The maddening feeling of being filled with rich cum, his cum, your husband's, your man's, drove you to a silent scream, to open mouth from which no sound came out, and saliva flowing down from the edge of your mouth only to dry on your cheek when you tilted your head back. And as if boiling sperm in you, poured into your insides.

"Greedy mama..." you didn't even come to your senses when you focused your blurred vision on Simon overhanging you, cupping your wet cheek with his large hand. His quiet, purring voice settled in your head like a gooey honey. You could nearly discriminate his words. Not understanding what was happening around, hearing only his voice and feeling only him in you, you were like gutted and thrown into the light while his sweat dripped on you from above, and his heavy breathing only miraculously did not blow you away. "Just like that..." Even his voice cracked, this man couldn't resist the devil, and mumbled inaudibly: "So good for me... So good... Such a good girl..."

Hot seed in you, his weight on you, his warmth all over you, his loud breath and your inner muscles tightening and loosening around him while he, overstimulated, continued moving in you, also overstimulated, and the movements were so...gentle ... So soft... His soft pounds, his smooth swings, almost like trying to rock you, but that orgasm was so blinding, you couldn't breathe, you couldn't concentrate on the outer world, just him and his hands, his hips between your legs, his balls tightly pressed to you, his cock inside you completely... So... Soft... Hot... Your body temperature was almost past its peak... And that gentle touch Simon gave you on your belly, lying his head on your shoulder.

After what he did, you barely remember how carrying he was... This big softie...

"You..." your hoarse voice sounded like you hadn't spoken in at least ten years, there was fuckin' Sahara in your throat, and your eyes couldn't even close from the experienced orgasm, "What you just... What you... Wha-...."

Tied tongue refused to obey.

You literally could not utter a word, only mumbling something incomprehensible.

Boneless.

Dry out.

Dehydrated.

The son of a bitch literally sucked all the juice out of you.

"Si..bl... Bml... Ah......"

And when he, as exhausted as you, pulled away to kiss you on the pink hot cheek, after all, that he had done, you nearly could look at how calm he was.

"You alright, love?"

Blue eyes glanced at you in slight worry, he stroked your wet hair, raised himself with both hands to look at you, but you could not take your eyes off him. You stared at him in disbelief or shock - doesn't matter, you just experienced the nastiest sex in your life, and he was so calm, so confident, like nothing happened, like it was a daily basis for you - being fucked 'til semiconscious state while your husband was 'mama'-calling you and sucking your tits, and, holy shit, did that really-

"Do I..." You swallowed, looking him dead in the eyes, without a single blink. "Do I look like I'm alright?... Do I?... And what happened with 'mama', baby?.. what happened with 'mama'?" suddenly your voice became demanding, insistent, from somewhere you found the strength to weakly hit him in his rock-hard shoulder, and Simon's eyes flashed with shame for a second, then he moved them from you, almost trying to hide, while leaving your core and sitting on the edge of the sofa at your useless boneless legs still shaking from whatever the hell that just was.

He inhaled, "I..."

"Shut up." and he closed his mouth instantly, staring at the floor, even before he heard properly what you said. "You sucked my milk."

"Um..."

"I said shut the fuck up- You just- where are my pills?"

"What?"

The slight surprise in his voice almost pissed you off and it was funny how he almost trembled with fear and tried to shrink under your gaze: he, that behemoth of a man, two meters tall, mountain of muscles, Lieutenant, a brave soldier of the Queen, Chain Dog of Captain Price and Commander Lasswell, trembling under your gaze, your, women half his height, twice as weaker than he ever was, furthermore, unable now to even wake up on her own, move her limbs, he was fuckin' scared-

Indeed.

You did have power over him.

"My pills." You barely raised your voice and he already was on his feet, pulling on his pants and trousers, looking for your plan B.

You watched him, nervously seeking after them, making as much noise in the bathroom as he would never make on a battlefield, and you could almost see his shaking hands turning the whole room upside down.

"We're gonna have a nice long talk about all of it," you heard yourself surprisingly serious, when he came to you with a glass of water and your medicine, helping you, holding your head for you to drink, "we gonna..." you swallowed the pill from his hands, drank all the water from the glass without taking your eyes off him, and exhaled loudly as he kissed your cheek after.

"We're gonna?.." he echoed you and you saw him squatting down next to the couch, against your head, so you could lie down and look him straight in the eyes without getting tired.

"We're gonna clear up your... This. Simon."

"Mhm?"

"Eyes on me."

"They already are, ma'am."

You could've laughed, because he never called you that unless you were extremely serious about small things in your life, no one ever saw him mocking you, or smiling like this, widely and openly, but there were topics you wanted to discuss before admitting that both of you were total perverts, and nothing would even help you clean your conscience from it.

To be fair, you didn't actually want.

You knew he was more playful, more... Different when you were alone, there were demons inside his pretty blonde-haired head, that was true, you knew the man you married, and he never was such a jealous person without any reason, and... You didn't know how, but you were sure this talk about 'sharing with someone else' wasn't just... Dirty talk. There was something else deep inside.

"You're thinking too loud, love," you heard him hawed it out and then felt his strong hands on your aching legs. "Again."

"I'm just... You know what?"

"Mm?"

"We... We should..."

"We should?.."

"We should... Holy hell, Simon... You..."

"I was serious about what I said, love."

Boom.

You tilted your head, met his eyes, moving from your legs to your face.

His deep and at first sight as if almost naive eyes.

"About?..." You whispered, feeling something strange growing inside you with every second he was looking deep into your soul.

Nasty, nasty soul.

"About having a big family." you felt his gentle kiss on your ankle, his head relaxed near your feet, he mumbled, "We already have one pretty girl... I want more. I want... I want to come home... And see a hoard of children running to me... Meeting me... And you... And then I'll sit with them, and you will work, and, imagine... Coming home, where there'll be a bunch of kids, siblings, maybe playing with each other, or arguing, or... Else. Our little world."

"Our little world..."

Unbelievable.

Dreamy, absorbed in his fantasies, soft, affectionate Simon. Telling you about that.

"Even if we could... What if something goes wrong?.." you couldn't resist your fears, not for yourself, but for hypothetical children. "What if... We won't be able to give them what they deserve?.."

And suddenly he smirked:

"I'm not telling you making a second one right now, am I?" your eyes met, your uncertain, and his, surprisingly romantic. "I'm just... Maybe we shouldn't stop at just one. She needs a friend. We were able to do so many things. I will buy a big house somewhere in the middle of nowhere..."

"With a garden and greenhouse?"

"Yep. I will arrange the area. Maybe we can have cows?"

"And chicken."

"And chicken. And..."

And you completed his sentence without looking at him, just knowing what he would say:

"...and have a daydream house with white picket fence and a golden retriever..."

"I prefer Alsatian."

There was something wrong with this man. Who was without a drop of doubt thinking that you two, and now with the third little human, can have that unrealistic happy lovey-dovey life.

Scarred soldiers, hardly married, only a year ago trembling from fear because of the thought that you would have a child in your house, such an irresponsible thing to do- and- and- now-

Now he was saying you can have more, can take responsibility for more people, more little ones- where were the guarantees that he would not die in the field? where were the guarantees that you would not be killed? where there were guarantees that you could become good parents, raise good children, fulfill your duty to them, and remain happy, not break down, challenge life, who stubbornly told you over and over again that you weren't made for this, you simply cannot have this, this isn't for you, and-

There really was something wrong with him.

And maybe, only maybe, there was something wrong with you, too.

Because you believed him.

You believed him with all your being, you trusted him, you knew he would never betray your trust, he would do more than everything to keep his promises, you knew the word "family" wasn't just a sound for him, and you became his family, he did not just wanted kids and that shitty house, fuck it, that wasn't about the house.

All of that was only about you.

Making family with you.

Having kids with you.

Introducing you as his wife, being a father to your kids, calling you the mother of his kids, knew exactly that is your and his blood running in their veins, that's your common children playing in the garden.

And in his face, which for some reason everyone finds impenetrable and dispassionate, you read so much that your heart breaks, your breath hitches, your pulse skips a beat:

Simon Riley doesn't want this house without you. He doesn't want kids without you. He doesn't want any white picket fence, no garden, no greenhouse, nothing without you. It's all is just meaningless for him, if it's without you.

You are that one thing that makes him believe he's unstoppable. You're that one person for whom he wants to try, despite fully understanding how hard, almost impossible it will be. Definitely will.

The man will move mountains just for you.

He would fight Death, and he would kill it just for you.

That's truly crazy.

But once again, if he's crazy, then you are too.

"Okay..." your quiet voice sounded in the silent room, only the cozy melody accompanying your words. "Alsatian it is."

It took a second, stretching for years, for him to slowly, with the grace of a well-fed tamed predator, get up from the floor and lean towards you, giving you the most tender kiss you have ever felt.

Delicate as silk, sweet as chocolate, a touch of love.

All his feelings for you couldn't fit in one kiss. But he needed to try.

And as soon as you relaxed, trusting yourself to his strong, safe arms, loud baby cries came from the baby monitor.

Damn.

Simon pulled away from you with a quiet "Don't move, I'll go get the Princess" and you couldn't help but giggle when you heard him open the door to your bedroom and start talking like an idiot, cuz she just loved when he was goofy around her.

In one second, promises to make you perfect for his fat cock again, and in the second after that, rocks your common child while making hilarious noises to pacify her.

"Simon!" And when he, rocking your tiny Princess, looked out from behind your bedroom door, you said helplessly, unable to remove the silly smile from your face, "I love you, baby."

His gaze softened.

"I love you, too, mama."

Oh, this man...

Oh this man!

[sourbinnie]

Hiii i have a request . Can you do as 9th straykids member when you left the group? and their reaction or maybe their massages? Just please as a friend not SHIP 💀 TYSM ❤️🫶🏻

title -> sooner or later genre -> angst my beloved | voicemails pair -> ot8!skz + 9th member!reader a/n: i wrote it as voicemails since it's my favorite style. i hope you still like it ¡!¡!¡ since i don't really do messages. ALSO this is not romantic like you wanted i put a + instead of an x, that's how i differiante it.

"(y/n). where do i even start? i'm not mad, let's say that. i'm just mostly concerned, it was just announced to us that you left the group and we never talked about this? like, i've never  seen you look discontent with being a part of stray kids. is there things that i don't know? i would love to talk to you before it goes public and we have to say you're not a part of the team anymore. i just wanna know what happened, you're like a sibling to me and i don't wanna lose one of the most important parts of the band because we just didn't talk you know? anyways, please answer as fast as you can".

chan left the voice message with as much strength as he could as he looked around the room. he didn't even wanna know what was gonna happen now because he never planned for stray kids to be eight. there was an empty space in the dorms now, a new type of silence and an increase of anger & confusion in all of the members that was justified right? why would you just leave? that's what they said. you weren't kicked out, just decided your time on stray kids was enough and he needed to speak to you to know what you felt.

✉ ✉ ✉

"so you decided to just leave? without telling any of us? real funny of you. i'm not disappointed or sad, i'm just fuming (y/n) and to think we trusted you. do you not understand that you ar- were a part of this for life? we were supposed to stay together forever. how do i even explain to felix and jeongin you're probably not gonna come back? i've never seen them look so distraught. i know i didn't show it but i really wanted you to be there for me in my most important moments 'cause i thought of you as a friend for life. i don't know what went down but this doesn't excuse your reaction to leave us in the dust".

minho felt betrayed, like he was stabbed and someone twisted the dagger. he wanted to protest against the manager that announced it all and he did, he did not stay silent like the rest. the shock then suddenly appeared knowing that they were eight members now and the fact that he wouldn't see you around the dorms, in practice, at the concerts, or at the music shows. it made him sick to his stomach that someone he considered a brother/sister just disappeared with no reason.

✉ ✉ ✉

"hey, i know it's kinda late but the news were just blurted out to us. i have no idea how to react. i just wanna know what happened, clearly there was something we didn't know that we need to talk about right? 'cause you can't just leave. i'm not gonna go out without a fight either, you are like one of my best friends and that's not gonna change. it's just so weird, we were talking about so much shit yesterday and you said you could only see your future with us and now you're gone? just like that? all your things are getting packed and it's just hard to watch. i don't imagine stray kids without you and i don't even want to".

changbin was completely lost. utterly and weirdly lost as he processed everything, another time he would've fought against it and he would've invaded his manager with questions (even if they were gonna remain unanswered). in this state he found himself in, he spammed you messages after sending the voicemail but they all weren't even seen. he wanted to go to chan for help but he saw the leader lost that shine in his eyes when all of this was announced. 

✉ ✉ ✉

"(y/n), i-i literally don't think this is the right decision. i know it's already in the work and that you will decide what's best for you. i am no one to tell you what to do but have you thought this through? leaving us? i'm just worried to be honest. felt like crying when they told us but i was a strong boy for you and yet you wouldn't care if you didn't care about leaving either. god i'm sorry, i'm just going through all the emotions at once and i still don't know how to react. just please call me and we'll talk it out like we always do, the team won't be the same without you and i don't even wanna think about you leaving me".

hyunjin knew he was being selfish by sending a voicemail like that and he did not care. even if didn't feel like crying before, he sure as hell was crying now thinking of his brother/sister and what could have happened for them to just leave. how did the person who was the most excited for him to come back from hiatus just decided to leave? and now they wouldn't answer their texts, it's like they disappeared face off the earth. hyunjin just wanted to get out of the dorms and go look for you, and guess what? he did.

✉ ✉ ✉

"hey. gosh, is it too late already? to be sending you this voicemail and hoping you come back? i know it's not easy. i don't know exactly what you went through for you to be making this decision on your own but i wanna know, i wanna get to know you better. even after all these years, i feel like we didn't discover each other fully and i want more, i want your visits at the studio, us messing up choreography on purpose and writing lyrics together till the morning. tomorrow is gonna be awful for all of us but for you especially as this is gonna go on public and i wanna be there for you before it all crumbles apart".

jisung wanted to know what happened first of all. then he wanted to hug you and not let you go, afraid you would slip away from his embrace and he would have to be left alone. if there was a thing people didn't mess with was his friends and he considered you to be on top of his list with the rest of the members. sharing a dorm with him, must've been a nightmare but you two managed to be a mess together. now looking at box after box of your stuff, he just felt the biggest hole in his heart.

✉ ✉ ✉

"are you okay? do you need me to go where you are? i know it's late but i would do anything for you, you know this. even right now as everyone is losing their minds, i just care about you and that might show a bit of favoritism. i just don't know what the hell happened for you to go, was it something we did or said? 'cause i can't recall and i will apologize a million times if i have to. it's just a lot okay? just to be told that you decided to leave and it was your choice. and if it was i just wanted to know if we could remain friends because i seriously don't want to lose you. just call me back please".

felix was devastated. the fact that you were alone somewhere, away from them, away from him. knowing that even if he said that he wanted to remain friends, the company wouldn't like that and you two would probably never see each other again. it just felt so weird to wait around for a message when you were the quickest to type them out but now it was as if the world was against him or something. he needed to hear your voice and to maybe tell him that it was all a really well calculated prank.

✉ ✉ ✉

"why did you leave? i don't wanna go in circles. i just need to know bluntly and straight the reason why you decided to leave us. weren't we forever? you said that so many times that right now it just feels like another lie. all the things we promised, they're gone too right? (y/n) please fucking answer me before i lose my mind. i am not a person to beg for anything but i would do it right now for you to explain what the hell happened. we are all as confused and lost as we could be! you didn't even say it to our face, were you scared to face us? why would you be scared? we were always gonna support you if you gave us a reason".

seungmin of course didn't mean to sound as angry as he did. he just couldn't help it when he was left in the dark by one of his closest friends and the worst part is knowing that this voicemail was gonna be left on seen. he threw his phone onto his bed as he sighed, hoping you would just answer. it was just scary to him that all of this was happening and he had no idea how to react. you weren't there with them like you always were and he wished for nothing more than for you to come back.

✉ ✉ ✉

"hey (y/n). it feels weird to call you by name but i just need to get your attention somehow so you answer me. it's been forever since we know each other and now to be witnessing what might be the end for what we were building, just leaves me with a bad taste. did we do something? or was it just something else happening that you never told us? either way i would rather you have stayed. i don't wanna cry because you wouldn't have liked that but i feel like i'm gonna do it anyway. not like you're here to stop me even though i wish you were. just please call me or any of us back, i wanna hear your voice telling us the truth".

jeongin's eyes were watery but he quickly wiped them away. he sat there on the couch while everyone was in their rooms and waited. he looked at the door every once in a while thinking maybe it would help him but at the end of the day it just hurt more to now that you probably weren't gonna come back. scrap that, you weren't gonna come back at all and this would be announced tomorrow. he felt like choking but he still stayed strong as he tried to think of the good moments with you and holding on to the memory for dear life.

[firestorm09890]

On Wuthering Heights and Canto VI (complete)

wow.

move over “Call me Ishmael” line, this is the Canto that most resembles its source book. We’ve got direct quotes! We’ve got scenes playing out like the original, beat for beat! I’m so glad I read Wuthering Heights beforehand, because unlike the previous ones where it just enhanced the experience a little (or even left me unsatisfied that they didn’t adapt certain things), I can’t imagine what it might’ve been like to not know everything in the book.

It’s kind of uncanny, actually, the extent to which things are similar. At the end of part 2 I was thinking about how there could’ve been a universe where the events of the book continued to stay the same if not for Erlking Heathcliff learning about the alternate worlds, and hey, after looking at so many universes of Catherine and Heathcliff making each other miserable, Dante (*edit: I wrote Cathy here first. I forgot it was Dante who saw it) found one where they’re happy together, both as ghosts, which! Is just the end of real actual Wuthering Heights!

We continued to have canon divergence in that way of "what if [character] had done something different?" which is always my favorite, even if some of it was just visions into a timeline where things were different. What if Heathcliff recognized he was just as bad as Hindley when it came to Hareton? What if Heathcliff and Cathy hadn't gone to spy on Thrushcross Grange that night? What if Heathcliff had stayed to listen to the rest of what Cathy had to say?

It's a tragedy, and Erlking Heathcliff, and our Heathcliff, and every other Heathcliff believed that it was the type where he was doomed from the start, because of who he is, and nothing can change that. But Dante knew that no, actually, it's a tragedy because of the choices that were made, and they can't be changed now, but you can change, and that's how you change your fate.

Individual characters

Not surprised Hindley distorted. I think this one had a lot more hate within him than the original

RIP Isabella Linton, I mean Isabella Edgar. She found someone who wasn't Heathcliff and her brother STILL stopped talking to her, and ended up being used by Erlking Heathcliff anyway

Speaking of Linton (Edgar). I don't have much to say because if I'm being honest I don't like him very much and everything he said was kinda overshadowed by his absolutely disgusting death. Catherine saying he looked like a prince out of a fairytale is very interesting considering how much he looks like the Black Swan guys

I'm sad Josephine died. It makes narrative sense but it would’ve been funny if she outlasted everyone else just like in the book

Cathy! There's a lot to say about Cathy but I'm not sure I can be the one to do it. I like her. I'm glad she was fucked up and we got our "everyone sucks here, you're perfect for each other, never involve anyone else in your business" but of course other people are getting involved because this is fucking Wuthering Heights

SPEAKING OF GETTING INVOLVED! NELLY!! I'm sooo glad they gave her the unreliable narrator trait, and managed to put the whole "burning letters" thing in there too. I'm also glad that when she did inevitably betray the team, she stayed exactly the same in personality. It's like she said herself, the happy moments in the past were real. I hope she stops associating with Hermann and goes to do something else with her life. Imagine finding out that in every universe you're wrapped up in Heathcliff and Cathy's bullshit

no Hareton or Catherine II, but Catherine I and Heathcliff did a fine job breaking the cycle themselves, I think.

there's probably more things to say about the Erlking and the Wild Hunt but I'm so tired

[l-in-the-light]

Why do you think Law has a weakness for cute things (like Bepo)? 🐻

What a cute question <3 let's see... I think we don't really see any signs of him liking cute things in his childhood (but that flashback was quite short, so it doesn't have to mean much). His little sister was for sure cute though!

Just look at that bright smile and all thanks to some ice-cream <3

But to answer this more properly, we have to ask few extra questions here: why would Law consider Bepo cute (I mean, he's a polar bear and a mink)? And which things does he actually consider cute?

Cuteness is a funny term. I assume your question is referring to this picture (but even if it's not, it's a good start):

Because Law is holding a cute pen with a bear motif, something we never before suspected he would even own. This totally fits the concept of "kawaii" and that term is broader than just word "cute" in english. For example, Robin's imagination also counts as "kawaii" despite the fact that the images appearing in her mind are not really fitting the idea of something cute.

They're also kinda "ugly" tbh (maybe besides the cat, but it's also a bit strange, objectively speaking!). Which is fine for the term "kawaii" because it can combine contradictions, something can be ugly but cute, weird/strange but cute, and even scary and cute at the same time. In english the term rather suggests something sugary cute, no contradictions involved. That's because the origin of "kawaii" term stems from "something pitiful", "something you feel sorry for". For example, a person who constantly trips on a straight road can be considered kawaii. But it doesn't have to be just about people. As long as you can find that angle of "pitiful" in it, anything can be cute, even a manhole on a road! Ryuunosuke is actually the best example of this, because even without understanding the idea of "kawaii" we can easily call him a pitiable being! Recognizing the quality of "kawaii" requires a whole different mentality honestly.

Now let's go back to Law. We can assume he considers those people and objects cute:

Lammy (she's his sister, so ofc he loved her, but I guess if he considered her cute it means she was probably either clumsy or very carefree or not very smart, or maybe even all of it. This is all just an assumption though)

Cora-san (he was extremely clumsy, to the point he could set himself on fire while lighting a cigarette)

Bepo (who can't control himself very well, when he feels hunger he can't stand it and eats even a poisoned fish, which makes him pitiable. Law's novel also states that Bepo thought he's making friends with Shachi and Penguin when the two were honestly just bullying and beating him up. Not being able to tell such basic things is also quite kawaii by definition, because just looking at him makes you feel sorry for him). There's this infamous anime-only scene in Wano with cute Bepo (below), this really isn't about the sparking eyes, it's about how Law feels sorry for Bepo in this moment that shoots him right in the heart and that's why he can't leave him (despite the fact Bepo would be fine even if he did):

Chopper (because he's very guillible and trusting, so again, it's easy to feel sorry for him. We don't really see Law reacting to that, but since Chopper acts like this all the time, it's safe to assume Law had the opportunity already!)

Luffy (yep, I said that, sue me :D Luffy's carefree attitude makes Law worry constantly, because again, it's pitiable if someone lacks any sort of alertness to dangerous situations)

Kin'emon (yep, I also said it. Kin is a lovely and funny person, but he's not the smartest. He falls from Ryuunosuke because of his and Kanjuro's clumsiness, he is so airheaded he doesn't come up with a backup plan despite having suspicions there's a traitor among the Akazaya Nine and that being his responsibility as the leader, in beginning of Wano's arc he also keeps drinking poisonous water from the river despite knowing perfectly well how bad it is, exactly the same way Bepo did. All of these traits make him kinda pitiable and I bet you anything Law felt incquired to protect/help him because of it)

Eustass Kid (yes, I'm serious! It only happened in their fight against Big Mom, never before that. It's because Kid kept doing those ridiculous attacks and Law even makes fun of it "what will be next? Hippo? Elephant?" which proves he worried for freaking Eustass Kid, Law just couldn't help it, because in that moment he felt he's kinda pitiable. Only for a moment though, mind you!)

Nami, Chopper, Brook and Momo, in that moment when they screamed scared of the fighting fish. Law's not scared of those sea beasts, but he probably felt sorry for the Strawhats, to the point that he later accepts all the blame on himself for everything that happened and calls it "his mistake".

that kid in World Seeker (no spoilers!). Dunno if he considers all kids cute tho, but that's also a possibility. He did help kids in Punk Hazard at the very end of the arc, without anyone asking him to do it.

the bear pen (probably because it reminded him of Bepo or even he received it from someone who got it for Law exactly because it reminded them of Bepo. Anyway, the reason's Bepo)

And what do all of these have in common? They're all people Law feels inclined to protect and help. It started with Lammy, continued to Cora-san, then for a long, long time was exclusive to Bepo. So whenever he spots those traits in someone his older sibling's instinct kicks in, whether he wants it or not. That must mean he was a really good older brother or at least tried to be. Or maybe his regret over Lammy is so strong he now projects it on anything and anyone that resemble him of her.

In other words, I don't think Law is actually into cute things in general as in cute looking colorful desserts in shape of animals, cute looking bentos, cute colorful sweets or plushies (though it's kinda fun to imagine). But he definitely has a soft spot for people he adores, so anything reminding him of the people listed above would be "cute" and in the range of his interests. That means anything bear shaped, for example a bento with rice shaped like a bear - definitely, but not just any cute bento. I guess that's a subtle difference, but an important one.

But would he refuse a cute gift from a person he considers cute? Oh, definitely not, because it comes from someone important to him :) from that point on he would also consider all those gifts cute and so the amount of things he finds cute would only grow bigger. One day he might find himself finding things cute in general as the result, just like Robin, and wouldn't that be hilarious?

And now we have to ask the question! You know which one, right? The final question of all questions:

Did he mean it? Did Ryuunosuke's pitiful effort really not strike any protectional chord in Law's heart? It totally should, considering my mini-analysis here. And I actually think it did, Law would just never make a fuss over that, he *hates* people getting all dramatic / overly emotional after all. And speaking of dramatic...

It most likely means he also felt pity for Tashigi here.

In hindsight, I guess Usopp trying to tie Chopper to his hat wasn't only a bad experience for Law after all, hm. He sure got triggered, but it probably stroke a protectional instinct in him as well. Later on when Chopper asks him stuff Law actually opens up a little and answers him truthfully.

Besides, how can a person wearing a smiley jolly roger all over his clothes AND skin dislike cute things? His jolly roger is kinda cute... and Law came up with that design by himself! Like I always argue I think it proves that Law likes smiling people and wants people to smile, it reminds him of Cora-san, of Lammy, and later on also of Luffy. But it's fine to consider it as just my headcanon. I doubt manga will ever say it directly though.

I guess it means if you want to make Law protect you, you just need to act pitiful, lol.

Thank you so much for your question, I hope you feel satisfied with the answer, anon <3

[blackstarchanx3new]

FSR rambles 18 dreams about being gannon

Direct parallels to Gannon/OOT.

Sweet time to mention Shadow can play the piano haha. I have a plan for a comic on HOW he learned but that's a later date type thing.

HERO OF TIME HIIIIIII. 💖 Also Naavi.

He's here to murder shadow. Noice.

Seems like Shadow's just getting haunted by this guy considering his appearance earlier in the comic in page 290 -

Seems like Hero of Time just isn't a fan of him or smth. XDDD

Ouch. That looked like it hurt.

Also hi who are you.

Also considering I know who you are...Why are your eyes Blue buddy? :D

"Aw shit. I got sliced"

"Also I'm younger"

Ah dream logic.

Hi Perry-

I mean uhhh

Totally mysterious purple clad hero.

This is a character from the planned sequel of FSR. and I can't speak much about him. You'd know a decent amount about him if you've seen the FSRA posts.

Also his eyes changed...Again...

When I dream I have nothing but nightmares too shadow. Smh.

Oh Hi Link. Why are you wearing white and black. Basically the reverse of Dark Link's fit? Not weird at aaaaall considering that wasn't what he was wearing before he pulled the sword...

It's been around for awhile NOW but Shadow's hair changing to have a red streak...much like a certain gerudo man we know isn't odd at ALLLLLL.

Also nice Malice eyes Shadow.

Yeah I'm sure the magic demonic 8 ball will have the answers you seek Shadow.

Considering the Gannon flashbacks we just saw...Who's "him" Dark? Because Dark could just as easily be talking about Vaati here. But really it's up in the air on who he meant exactly.

Dark keeping his horns from his vaati convo and it appearing on his human ish form was a fun detail to add.

Random note to think about: Dark had to put himself back in Shadow's hat after sneaking off to vaati's house and that imagery is funny so I'm sharing it with you.

Dark's hair is still vaati colored as well and his behavior is reflecting him still.

Link talking about food and sleeping is just about the most link thing ever so Dark gives absolutely no shits about it.

Haha you should have chosen your words more wisely shadow...

It ALMOST sounds like you don't WANT Link here...which Dark can pick up on pal-

Oh shit. You repeated it you meant it.

Yeah don't shout Link could wake up.

Dark kinda SORTA seems to know what's happening...

But he's using "I think" and uncertain language. (You know he's not sure of smth if he's using phrasing like that hah. Since he's usually so self assured in his assumptions.)

Lol ignore how often my dumbass forgot to keep Shadow's hair right. Mistakes happen. 😅

Hey Shadow, abusing the nutcase isn't gonna get you very far.

Especially because he hates your guts.

Dark's kinda right here tho. Shadow's being selfish as hell rn.

The phrase "Does the word "HERO" just have no meaning to you? You disgust me" specifically gets a chuckle out of me considering who's mouth it's coming out of.

Dark continues to miss identify Shadow as Gannon when he said "you're as old as time" (More of a reference to demise depending on how you look at it but same diff)

Dark sweating visibly showing he's still very much scared of Shadow.

Shadow pulled his head out of his ass for a second and realized Dark's acting weird. (Like Vaati)

Dark's instant snap back is amusing but also sad. Like. Shadow doesn't "know him" not in any meaningful way. But he does yield and admit he was looking at memories for... YEARS in the head space.

Which is just a level of horror beyond comprehension.

Imagine spending YEARS looking at other people's memories just to get yanked out of it randomly by mr root of all evil himself bitching at you about smth you don't even know about, some guy you had a single conversation with YEARS AGO. But oh yeah. It's only been maybe 8 hours in the real world and all perception of time and reality was thrown off and you're being accused of being a different person after all that shit.

To say Dark Link isn't having a fun or good time would be an understatement.

I touched on it in a fic where Link and Dark bang of all places but Dark's existence is an existential nightmare.

Dark Link's EXISTANCE isn't fun for him. He's gonna mention it later too but he's MISSERABLE and vocal about his misery and pain just being alive.

Something weird to think about: Who's memories was he even looking at?

Really from his vague description it could be ANYONE.

I personally like to think it's vaati's considering he still has his hair shifted to be vaati's tone, is acting like vaati and mentions shadow being "Annoying"

though Link and vio are high possibilities too haha.

A mix of all of them aren't off base either.

Identity crisis how fun...Dark struggling to separate himself from the memories he's witnessed is concerning to say the least.

At least he's willing to be helpful with what he thinks is going on.

Really he could have just said "Fuck off figure it out yourself" but he offers to try and explain shit to Shadow from his perspective.

Dark's openness to cooperate despite everything is smth noteworthy.

He has literally no reason to do shit like this (Even if it fails) ESPECIALLY considering his distaste for Shadow. He just does shit that's helpful or nice cause he can.

Just little characterizations that Dark Link is more like Link than you'd first think considering his introduction.

Also OOT reference again with Ganon entering the sacred realm to steal the Triforce of power.

The second Shadow mentions them splitting is a relief, Dark cosplays Vio. XDDDD

Even Shadow thinks that was Vio like haha.

Dark's avoiding Link is the funniest part of this. "Oh shit he's waking up, gotta run. Don't wanna talk to him." XDDD

Don't do it Shadow.

It's a terrible idea.

Last time Link was here he was wanting to off himself so he might not be the most mentally sound individual!

Also who's happy to be woken up...

Dark Link being the voice of reason here about the pros and cons to waking Link up or even listening to him haha.

Considering what happens HAPPENS, that probs would have happened REGUARDLESS of if he was woken up or not. The change really is down to whether or not Shadow would A. Even be around for it. B. Be the one to wake Link up and have that burden on his mind or C. Just let shit happen.

Shadow is putting a ton of pressure on Dark to give answers or be helpful AND CORRECT but like...dude Dark doesn't know, he's guessing too lmfao.

Shadow makes what I consider a very foolish choice which was waking Link up.

Dark held back the explosion aspect but he is here to have fun first so uhhhh...Well he DID say it'd be funny to him and not Shadow.

Shadow defaults to blaming Dark Link "Damn demon" which...Shadow learn some accountability.

Panel by panel breakdown cause stuffs getting jucy:

1- Interesting outfit choice Link. It's the one he wore when he was a bit younger. So he's got a younger mindset when waking up. Which is just sad.

2- his outfit changes to half blue half green with a purple sleeve, his hands are all sorts of wrong and mish mashed with red and purple nails. His eyes also have the wrong color. His body is distorting all over the place...Interesting.

3- Shadow you shouldn't have said anything. The coward's hiding too lmfao he knows he fucked up.

4- Safe to say he's not very happy.

Link's distorting and glitching is based on video game glitches. Which is fun because: LOZ is a video game.

There's something distinctly haunting and uncanny about buggy/glitchy game assets and I wanted to capture it here.

Like the reality of four people being forced into one body is quite horrifying and the idea of them just bugging out unable to process how many thoughts there are is overwhelming. Literally like overloading a computer or gaming system.

There's also something to be said about how he fully breaks after seeing Shadow Link.

This is brought up later so I'll expand upon it later but the fact literally the only words Shadow Link spoke to LINK was "I'm the hero Link" or smth like that is hysterical.

For living together for 7 years: They truly don't know each other well on a personal level considering their ability to communicate was stunted by Shadow being...Well a Shadow. And I wanna explore that more as the series goes on.

1- Lol Green hi thanks for trying to stay calm.

2- Vio's here too. Something tells me calming down isn't working considering your face is cracking more and the tunic is flashing different colors.

3- Shadow I swear to god, shut your mouth-

4- Yeaaaaaah we saw that coming. Ouch looks painful. Good thing that body is magic hahaha.

Link's just not having a good time at all. XD

I think a few people caught this but Link breaking down here was based on the forced gem fusions in SU also the distorted static version of the cartoons from learning with pibby XD

It was good inspo for how horrific this scenario is.

Really all of them are just kinda, shoved in there. Unable to truly escape and they're NOT HAPPY about it.

Blue specifically is trying to get out as we'll know later and we get more context on his thoughts about this ordeal from the Darkblue chapter... But visually you can see Link's got two faces and it remains consistent that that's Blue.

Which, is terrifying.

There's also the underlying horror that the "Why" Link is back in one body isn't truly addressed but we'll get more into that later.

Shadow running for his damn life haha.

I'd be scared too if that mess was crawling at me.

The sad thing is that Link's reaching out for help and Shadow responds by screaming in terror lmfao.

Cause Link seems monstruous at the moment but the reality of the situation is he's very clearly conscious and scared. He's reaching out to the only person he can, which is Shadow.

I think this might be my favorite design of Link in this state. It's just horrific to look at. The eyes bleeding onto both his faces which are cracked like mirrors so you can't tell what he's looking at. He has Vio and Blue's legs sticking out of his back, and entire extra head forcing its way off his main one, it's hard to tell from these but his skin is glitching in both Red and Blue's separate skin tones (Blue's being a bit darker and Red's being lighter)

His tunic is pitch black which, black absorbs all wavelengths of light and reflects none...Literally keeping it trapped haha.

Yeah. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING.

Anyway, Link/Green, Vio and red are all reaching out to shadow but blue is suspiciously absent haha.

Them grabbing onto Shadow is smth Vio would do...

The four sword's lil gem thingy is glitched to shit too. Each colored piece being a different size. Green's is noticeably larger while Blue and Red's are about the same size. Vio's is the smallest.

Shadow's hat is doing that thing Dark does when he's upset where it clings to his body.

Yeah feeling like you can't do anything would be a feeling you fall into frequently being trapped as a shadow.

Take that agency back Shadow it's been robbed from you for too long.

Blue: GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!!!!

Jokes aside I love this moment. Link getting more stable as he keeps Shadow close to him is sweet.

Link just needed a hug. UwU

Or...Less cute option: Maybe...The triforce of power had something to do with it...

Link/Red crying immediately when Shadow says a single word lmfao.

Link's so pretty I love him. I'm glad he's back a bit.

"Shadow, stop talking." could apply to everything he says to link as of rn. XD

Link's still very much emotionally distressed and I'd be too after THAT SHIT SHOW.

I do think it's funny how Link is wearing black here and Shadow is wearing white. (It's just his usual underclothes without his tunic)

Yes shut up and please just hug him it's clearly what he needs rn Shadow. X'D

Perfect cut off point lmfao.

[goldeaglefire1]

excuse me for one moment. I need to expose all the non-Transformers fans to the name overlap between Beast Wars and G1 because some of these examples are so fucking funny

"what are you talking about" glad you asked! you see, all the way back in the 90s, Transformers was actually dangerously close to getting canned entirely because after Generation 1 - that being the original toyline and cartoon - Hasbro attempted to continue the success with what they called Generation 2, and it sold like ass. Beast Wars was the solution to that issue, and it worked! the toys sold exceptionally well, the cartoon was well-received, everyone lived happily-ever after

except. because Beast Wars was an effort to revive the franchise it was effectively treated as a soft reboot. it was not a reboot (keep that in mind for later) but the people naming the characters weren't afraid to use names that were already used for G1 characters. this makes things exceptionally funny in hindsight considering how wildly different these characters can be from the original Transformer with their name

now. come along with me. let's journey through these name overlaps together.

going in no particular order (well maybe SOME order because I'm saving the funniest bit for last), let's start off with Scorponok

now, Scorponok is a name that kinda got passed around like a blunt later on in the Transformers series, but we're just focusing on the Beast Wars and G1 versions since that's the important comparison here. so! In Beast Wars, Scorponok is more or less your basic evil goon. guy who goes "you got it boss!" and then fucks it up immediately in comedic fashion. classic. so what did the original Scorponok do exactly?

well, you see, G1 Scorponok was the rival to Fortress goddamn Maximus. If you don't know who that is - which, honestly, is probably most of you - that is the Transformer who, and I cannot emphasize this enough, turns into an entire city. There are several of those fuckers but Fort Max is like. the OG guy who turns into a city. and G1 Scorponok was meant to be his rival.

so, I have to say, dear god can you imagine the amount of pressure that's on BW Scorponok. imagine sharing a name with the guy who regularly fistfought an actual fucking city. insane.

moving on, Silverbolt!

In Beast Wars, Silverbolt is a guy who turns into a wolf-eagle hybrid ("what-" toyline gimmick don't worry about it) who acts like a chivalrous knight with very clear cut black and white views - which, considering his teammates include Rattrap, the guy who gleefully uses every dirty trick in the book to pull ahead of the stronger, tougher Predacons, and [[REDACTED]], who defected from the Predacons but is still perfectly willing to use their methods from time to time, makes for. interesting conversations! anyway, G1 Silverbolt is the guy in charge of the Aerialbots, those guys being a combiner team who forms Superion, who is. The first big Autobot combiner I'm fairly sure? I don't actually know anything about G1 Silverbolt besides that I apologize to all the Aerialbot fans

speaking of guys who were named after combiner components! Rampage!

hooooooo BOY does Beast Wars Rampage make a fucking impression. result of a Maximal experiment gone horribly, horribly wrong, before the entire plot of the show happened he was given to out main cast of do-gooders with the explicit instructions of "please just dump him on a rock in space somewhere where he can't kill people or eat people or BOTH because we can't fucking kill him and we want him very far away from us." unfortunately, the plot happens, and Rampage breaks loose, causing everyone involved to have a very bad day, only punctuated when Megatron manages to get him nominally on the side of the Predacons by cutting his heart in half and putting said half in a cage he could squeeze as a sort of "leash."

this is the basics, by the way. I haven't even gotten into the whole ass guy who comes to prehistoric Earth specifically to kill Rampage. like. my god. there really isn't anything G1 Rampage can do to compare to whatever the fuck BW Rampage has going on aside from being part of Predaking. or possibly some IDW thing I'm not aware of

moving on from all that, Inferno!

now you might have noticed that up until now that, while the designs and personalities between the Beast Wars characters and the G1 characters can be drastically different, the Beast Wars characters tend to be on the equivalent of whatever faction the G1 character was on - i.e. Maximals for Autobots, Predacons for Decepticons. and then with Inferno, the G1 guy is a fire truck, clearly heroic, while the Beast Wars guy is...some sort of horrific ant man. so, what's going on there?

well, you see, in Beast Wars, Inferno is a Predacon who, due to a glitch in his programming, actually thinks he's an ant, and sees the Predacons as his colony (this also results in him she/her-ing Megatron on a regular basis by referring to him as "my Queen." this isn't relevant to anything I just thought you should know). this means he tends to charge in with zero regard for his safety because. y'know. ant mentality. meanwhile, G1 Inferno...well I know nothing about him, but, according to the wiki page, he apparently also does this, not because of the ant thing, but because he's just like that. Honestly, good for him

now, before we get to the funniest example, I would like to make an honorable mention to Megatron, the only guy with an actual reason for the name overlap

see, remember what I said about Beast Wars still taking place in the G1 continuity? Beast Wars Megatron is the first time that really comes into play because what I haven't mentioned before now is that for most of these guys, the names being the same as a G1 character is purely a coincidence because they were Protoforms at the start of the series - those being effectively blank slates/baby equivalents for Transformers - and started their lives on Earth, meaning the references to previous Transformers are purely coincidental. even homicidal crab man cannibal Rampage only got a proper name on Earth, being called "Protoform X" before then. sole exception to this rule is Scorponok, who was part of the Predacons from the start...and Megatron

"so is he the same guy as G1 Megatron? you said it's the same continuity as G1 so he's the same right" that's the fun part! he isn't! he very much is not G1 Megatron, he just looked at the OG and went "you know what. I want to do what you did. godspeed" and then he named himself after that guy. coincidentally, Megatron is also the name of a figure in the Convenant of Primus, AKA the Transformers equivalent of the Bible, which was completely made up for the Beast Wars cartoon and I'm convinced was introduced solely so they could say "hey our villain named himself after his religion's equivalent of the antichrist. and also may or may not be that antichrist due to time travel shenanigans" ("when did time travel get involved-" don't worry about it)

now, onto the funniest name overlap of all

mr. [[REDACTED]] himself

Dinobot

now, to be clear, Dinobot is one of the most popular characters to come out of the Beast Wars franchise. He's well known for his gradual change from "technically a good guy mostly because he hates Megatron's ass, he has a code of honor, and nothing else" to "honorable hero with one of the most heartbreaking death scenes in all of Transformers" over the course of his screentime, and is in fact so popular that he was the third Beast Wars character to get a Masterpiece figure - Masterpiece figures being incredibly complex Transformers figures that boast show accuracy in both forms and typically have the price range of a small kidney - with the first two being Cheetor and Optimus Primal. If you didn't get the implications of that, that means Dinobot managed to beat out Beast Wars Megatron for getting a Masterpiece toy first. MEGATRON. Again, might be a different guy from G1, but he is a Megatron! Still the main villain of the damn show! Says a lot that Dinobot was popular enough to get a toy first. I could go on, but I need to get back to the point - what's so funny about the name overlap here?

well. if you're even tangentially familiar with transformers, you might actually be able to guess this one!

no, seriously! this isn't a "geologists overestimating how much their audience knows about geology" moment, because if nothing else, the leader of these guys ("these guys?" shhhhhhh) is one of the most popular Transformers out there. if I may be so bold, I'd argue that after Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Megatron, and Starscream, the leader's name is like. one of the first Transformers characters who comes to mind. if nothing else I imagine you've seen a picture of this guy at some point

...

alright, ready to see if you were right?

3, 2, 1...

eeeeeeyup, the name overlap is with an entire subgroup of Autobots, and not only that, but one of the most popular subgroups of Autobots, led by one of the most popular Transformers of all time: Grimlock

and like. the Dinobots don't really have the whole "gradual redemption" "tragic hero" thing going on but they do have the ability to tickle the five year old within everyone's brain because their characters can be summarized as "caveman robots who turn into robot dinosaurs" and if that didn't cause said five year old in your brain to go "holy shit" you are actively lying to yourself. so it's very understandable why they're popular.

the funny part is that because Dinobot shares a name with the Dinobots, the latter of whom are more popular and will get priotity, every Transformers writer since Beast Wars has effectively been locked out of making their own version of Dinobot, and I imagine there has been at least one guy cursing out whoever decided to give the bot who would be Dinobot a name that overlaps so heavily with other popular characters. the most he's shown up outside of the original cartoon is in the War for Cybertron cartoon (which. I'll be honest I've heard very little about and haven't watched myself but what I have heard is "it's bad" so that hasn't been encouraging) and the IDW comics. and that's it. while any sane person would count those as their own continuities, by Hasbro's logic they're the same universe as G1, so like. if we go by Habsro logic he hasn't even shown up anywhere beyond G1. which is insane given how popular he is - again, see "third Beast Wars character to get a Masterpiece, beating the local Megatron," and did I mention that one time he won the Transformers Hall of Fame in Botcon 2010 purely by fan vote. because he did do that. I guarantee you that the only reason Dinobot has not shown up more is because of that name overlap. The group of Dinobots may be more popular but I have to imagine there's at least one guy at Hasbro fuming over not being able to make money off of Dinobot (the character) toys outside of shit like the Legacy toyline

and like, while I do wish Dinobot would show up more, the thought of that is extremely funny

[basu-shokikita]

Your skwistok duel rants have actually made me ship them. I've been rewatching the series and I'm starting to see more sparks than I did on my first couple watches. Any other big series moments that have you seeing more of their compatibility?

ahhh really?? that's so nice to hear ;o; i love my silly boys

hmm well, tbh skwisgaar accepting toki into the band was what sold me out on skwistok for good. but it's exactly because it explained EVERYTHING for me. before watching dsr i liked skwistok but i was convinced it was a one-sided deal on toki's part. but once that we were shown that it was skwisgaar who welcomed him into dethklok, that it was skwisgaar and skwisgaar only who wanted him in it i was like oh shit...he loves him back....

so rewatching the series with this origin story in mind, made me see them under a new light, particularly when it came to skwisgaar. whereas before i saw skwisgaar being uncaring of toki, i was now realizing that he did care, he just had a shitty way of showing it. he's a tough love kinda guy. yet, he's still a bit possessive of him and pretty protective for his cold bitch standards.

but anyway for skwistok moments that i find important in no order:

skwisgaar's weird jealous tantrum when he walks into toki and his guitar teacher in dethlessons. it's fucking hysterical but i'm also fascinated with the way it's framed like toki is cheating on skwisgaar. which skwisgaar definitely thought, by the way. yes, he was worried about toki becoming better than him but imo he was also upset about toki having a guitar bond with anyone that wasn't him. and hey, after the duel? it makes total sense.

skwistok drunk driving and shooting at the beginning of dethrace. i've already talked about how funny it is to me that skwisgaar was doing that with toki but mostly i think it speaks miles about the both of them that they chose each other to go fuck around and break the law. like, these guys are actually close???

in the same vein, skwistok pranking murderface in prankklok. the way toki lies in skwisgaar's bed so comfortably, like he's been there soo many times that it's essentially his room too. his two little feet dangling in the air, silly laugh while listening to skwisgaar on the phone. it's so fucking cute they love each other's company so much

the infamous 'stop copies me' from dethcarraldo. not only does it send me to tears everytime but it showcases their competitive nature in a way that i find both endearing and cute. i mean, toki repeating everything skwisgaar says and refusing to acknowledge it??? and skwisgaar acting like an offended child about it?? these guys share the braincell, how can you ever separate them?

toki dressing up as skwisgaar in the dethklok tribute band. stealing his clothes. acting stupid when skwisgaar pointed it out. looking absolutely elated when he was called skwisgaar skwigelf in that shitty club. shit out of a fanfic i swear. and then not only that but skwisgaar being fine with being toki in the tribute band?? you guys get a room my god

toki hitting skwisgaar the most in doublebookedklok* considering charles said toki was hitting his bandmates cause he wanted their attention...does it mean he wants skwisgaar's attention the most? look, it might be obvious by this point but having the narrative acknowledge that toki not only idolizes skwisgaar but wants his attention...

the unforgettable, the iconic 'i'll sees you in vallhaska' scene from the s1 finale. i feel like it truly bares skwistok's dynamic to its core. skwisgaar unable to say goodbye properly, so he tells him he'll see him again. toki unable to admit how he really feels about skwisgaar so he says he hates him. skwisgaar smiling because he KNOWS that's not what toki really meant. peak romance right here

skwisgaar actually trying to save toki in bookklok. it's played for the laughs but i can't stop thinking of how skwisgaar genuinely thought toki was going to die and, despite toki essentially ruining his life, he didn't hesitate to run and try to save him. 'comes back to me toki' lives rent free in my mind like what the hell was that. what in the WORLD. was that. jesus christ. how could they end the ep like this really

the entirety of the staresdown. skwistok canon, i'm afraid

last but not least i'd say the entirety of army of the doomstar tbh. it might not be focused on skwistok but the skwistok moments we got out of it were GOLDEN. narrative wise i give a special shoutout to toki carrying skwisgaar on his back + giving him his guitar cause he knew skwis needed it. the amount of love and concern in here. that's his beautiful guitarist wife that he adores.

these are the big moments of the top off my head but really it is about the details with them. a lot of nuances in their relationship are kinda lost to the background because it's not their dynamic that carries the plot, so you just gotta focus on them haha. for example one of my subtle faves is toki going catatonic in dethfam and skwisgaar going 'what?? you're not talking to me??' because like. damn this bitch can't handle his little guy not talking to him for 5 seconds. talk about being codependent

anyway, i hope i answered your question somehow anon ✌️

*upon rewatching doublebookedklok, i've realized toki hits murderface just as much as he does skwisgaar but my point still stands. at the very least skwisgaar is one of the members toki wants the most attention from

[hellfirebabe666]

Be My Sweetheart

Eddie Munson x goth!Reader(using she/her pronouns in fic. no use of y/n) Word Count: 1k+ Warnings: absolute none to report just fluff if I'm honest

Hawkins High was abuzz with the upcoming Valentine's Sweethearts Dance that had just about every student trying to find their "sweetheart" and their way of inviting their dance partner was the Valentine's candy grams that the school was selling. A box of conversation hearts with a rose. Sure, it wasn't fancy, but this was high school after all.

The candy grams were set to go out just a few days before Valentine's Day with the dance itself taking place on that love filled holiday evening. As such you had all cliques in the cafeteria going on about the plans of who they were wanting to invite to the dance. Eddie Munson, the head of the school's resident D&D club was sitting at their respective table attempting to go over plans for their next meeting before the youngsters in the crew began to talk amongst themselves about their Sweethearts Dance plans.

"So you're buying one for Max, right," Mike asked nudging Lucas who was looking unsure. "Maybe. She's still mad at me about something. I can't even remember what now but she's been giving me the cold shoulder for a week," he sulked. "Maybe she's on her period," Dustin stated. Lucas just rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Look man, maybe the candy gram will make up for it," Mike suggested.

Eddie slammed his palms on the table shaking the treys of his other members to shake the boys attention back. "Come on, freshmen, we need to focus here. Enough with the corporate holiday crap," Eddie said as the boys drew their attention back to their leader. "Come on, Eddie. Valentine's Day can be fun. You just hate it because you're not with anyone," Dustin chuckled.

Eddie shook is head, "Oh dear Henderson you sweet sweet summer child. I don't hate it because I'm not with anyone, I hate it because it's just an excuse to spend money on gifts to proclaim your love but really it's just an excuse for marketing and upselling to shmucks who don't know any better." Dustin rolled his eyes a scoffed, "Whatever you say, Eddie. All I know is there's a particular goth girl who has been eyeing you for weeks now."

Eddie tilts his head looking at the curly headed kid and moves closer grabbing him by the scruff of his shirt to bring him closer to him as he spoke, "Say that again, Henderson?" Dustin swallowed nervously and spoke up, "Uh y-you know Robin's friend that goth chick that is like...super quiet? She uh, she likes you." Eddie's eyes widened at that admission. Robin's friend was something of an enigma in that she was hard to get a read on and she was just so shy. But Robin did speak very highly of her when she was brought up in conversation and the handful of times Eddie got to talk to her she seemed alright. Apparently she was really gifted in art and funny once she got comfortable around you.

"Henderson, where did you find this out and were you planning to tell me any sooner," Eddie asked Dustin loosening his grip on his shirt and finally letting him go as he settled back in his seat. Dustin smoothed out his shirt and glanced around hoping Robin and her friend weren't within ear shot. "Kinda heard her talking to Robin at Family Video a little while ago. She doesn't think you'd be interested. And honestly I wasn't sure it as my place to tell you at all." Eddie nodded slowly in understanding and looked over a few tables away where he saw Robin and the girl that was the topic of conversation.

She was cute. Dark hair down to her shoulders, a nose stud adorning her face and she always had graphic liner. Eddie had seen her in passing around school and he always thought looked cool but never had the opportunity to really speak to her more often considering she really kept to herself and her limited friend group. But once Dustin made him aware of your feelings his eyes lit up with an idea and he quickly bolted for the table just outside of the cafeteria where student council members were selling candy grams. Eddie knew what he was going to do. Sure he was buying into the bullshit, but he wanted to make her smile.

Days passed and it was lunch period time only today was the day student council members were delivering the candy grams to the respective students they were sent to. Eddie watched from the Hellfire table as they made their rounds and one made a stop at Robin and your table stopping before handing you a rose and box of conversation hearts. Robin's eyes widened, "Oh my god who's it from?" She asks frantically attempting to snatch the conversation hearts out of your hand to read the message but you were quick to avoid as you moved to turn the box over.

Be my sweetheart to the dance on Friday? -EM

And along with is was a heart with an arrow drawn through it. You looked at wide eyed and then looked up from your table and that's when you saw Eddie who was now approaching your table. He had a smirk on his face as he approached. Robin gasped and immediately whispered, "I'm going to go over there and I swear to god you better give me full details later!" She scolded you before rushing off tuning out your minor attempt to protest.

Eddie takes the seat next to you on the bench, "Hey." He said simply. "Hi Eddie," you said quietly looking at him. "So, how about it? Think you would want to go to the dance? Of course no pressure, we don't even have to go to the dance honestly. But I would like to take you out some time. What do you say?" He looks at you tilting his head and smiling feeling hopeful of your answer.

You couldn't help but giggle slightly and give him a big smile, "I would love to go the dance with you, but of course only if you're comfortable. No pressure," you repeat his words back and smile. He grabs your hands in his and looks at you and it gives you butterflies. "I'd love to take you to the dance, sweets. Gotta show off my hot date after all," he winks and squeezes my hands lightly.

"Well I look forward to it," you say and lean in to kiss his cheek which catches him off guard but the grin on his face after was absolutely cartoonish and you couldn't help but giggle again.

Yep, he was an absolute goner.

[catchyhuh]

my fave lupin iii blog .... give me your wisdom

cologne / perfume scents for the gang

i had to do an embarrassing amount of research on this one. mostly because perfume lore goes a lot deeper than i ever could have imagined and i wanted to give you something GOOD so ALL THAT SAID if any of you disagree with this you may be right. i did five quizzes, read up on multiple blogs from the 2000s, learned the "scent families" and at the end of the day just gave up and typed "douchiest colognes" into google

lupin: generally speaking, regardless of WHAT he's getting, any "subtle" notes are going to now have the force of a freight train the way he's practically bathing in this stuff. which is pretty rough when already coupled with really strong, amber-y scent type shit. lupin's cologne does not smell light and pleasant, it smells like you walked into a dark red cloud, which is ironic considering the conclusion i came to was dolce and gabbana light blue. people fucking hate this smell, despite parts of it sounding good in theory, and since lupin's shitty cologne has been addressed canonically numerous times, i feel this is it. even a tiny bit of this perfume makes so many people seem to wither like flowers in the sun so i can only imagine what happens when a guy who's been dunktanking himself in this walks in the room

jigen: again, its kind of overpowering. not because he overdoes it like lupin, but again, these are just not very subtle people, and even if jigen does SEEM reserved, he likes making a scene just as much as the others in the right environment. like, a mix of amber and woodsy types. i ended up on dior fahrenheit on this one and it made me realize both lupin and jigen using like, excessively common brands makes sense. for lupin its brand recognition, for jigen it's convenience. he probably smelled this in the fucking 90s and just committed to it since

fujiko: this was simultaneously the hardest and easiest, because i kept looking trying so damn hard to figure this out, to pinpoint what would SCREAM fujiko while still being unique enough to appeal to her lavish tastes, but NORMIE enough that i would be able to read up the notes on perfume reddit (they seem to know what they're talking about there) only to realize. wait. this is the same bitch who won't even keep her hair dyed the same color all the time. fujiko has no specific fashion sense beyond "stylish and with the current times" and i feel that's what applies to her perfume too. well and. hot. i guess. stylish, current, and hot. that's like 50 bottles right off the bat. regardless, it'll always be bold. thats right baby we're at amber AGAIN, but because she doesn't wanna scare off potential prey there's always a faint undertone of sweet flowers. she's smart like that even her perfume is calculated.

goemon: my man does not wear cologne on any occasion. he thinks its silly because you can smell good for free if you just fucking. bathe. why pay 80 dollars to smell bad? HOWEVER (as just established) goemon is bathing and 90% of shampoos/bodywashes have a scent. and goemon's is very... crisp. kinda citrus-y at times? this is the most mundane answer (and the most accessible they got this shit at walmart) but you know that mint teatree shampoo? he's got the faintest hint of that specific scent lingering on him

zenigata: this is going to sound so funny and mean but like. imagine if a smell was trying to look cool but just kind of making an ass of itself. i feel like that's what he'd have, regardless of if the cologne did actually smell good on anyone else, it'd feel just a bit overzealous on him. it was way difficult to find something that made sense to me but wasnt like, again, 80 fucking dollars, because you know for a fact he's spending 15 tops. and that's if he even remembers to wear it. at best, for some reason, i feel like he'd be a sandalwood guy but i can't really place why? honestly i was kinda ready to give up until i saw GREY FUCKING FLANNEL BABY!!! THIS SHIT IS DIRT CHEAP HAS BEEN AROUND SINCE THE 70S AND APPARENTLY EVERYBODY'S DAD KNEW SOMEBODY WHO WORE THIS! AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S IN IT? SANDALWOOD!!!!!!

now i can finally close all these fucking perfumania tabs

[asskickedbygirl]

Hey there!

First of all: I love your work, you're doing a great job and I really love your writing style!

I'd like to request something (if you don't want to write that it's cool). I had some kind of a down time for the past few weeks and need something funny/comforting. I thought of maybe reader being a medic on the set of jackass and she and bam and Ryan had a troubled past. So when she sees them she's like "oh please don't get hurt" and the other boys are teasing her like "oh, are you worried about them?" And she's like "god no I don't want to see their faces more than I need to."

And bam or Ryan kinda start to like her and is jealous when the other guys try to flirt with her.

Can end in smut, even though I'm ace and not a smut fan, but the stuff you write is so good, I can totally live with that.

Thanks for your fics and happy new year!

Tell Me

[Ryan Dunn x F!Reader]

A/n: ASSKICKEDBYGIRL WRITING FLUFF FOR ONCE?!?!?!? 😱😱yeah there's a shock. thank you for the req sorry it took me a while to get around to it but thank you for saying that too!!! I've missed writing I wish I didn't have a life.

warnings: mentions of sex, alcohol, cursing

2.9k words

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"You might be busy today, looks like Bam and Ryan are gonna fuck something up." Jeff tutted, glancing over to where the crew were setting up.

"God I hope they don't get hurt."

Johnny overheard what you said, a smirk appearing on his face as he wandered over to where you and Jeff were stood.

"And why's that? You got a crush? Worrying your pretty little head over em?" He laughed, ruffling up your hair as you tried pushing him off.

"God no. I don't wanna see their faces more than I have to."

Johnny's brows narrowed, unsure of why you had some sort of vendetta against the two buffoons from West Chester.

"They went to high school together." Jeff answered Johnny's confusion for you before leaving the two of you be.

"Ah I see. One of them an ex or something?"

You shook your head, scoffing.

"Definitely not. They were just idiots that's all."

Johnny could tell you were leaving some detail out as you continued setting up your station, the job you were supposed to be doing instead of chatting with the star of the movie.

"Did they pick on you? Cause' if that's the case I can kick their asses for you. We'll call it reparations."

Johnny's sweet talking pulled a little smile from you though you kept your eyes trained on the ground, afraid you might fall into Johnny's sunken ones as crushing on coworkers was totally a no-go in the professional sense.

"No it's okay. They were kind of assholes to a lot of people so it's not really considered picking on me. Just boys being dumb."

Johnny nodded, biting his lip.

"Well hell maybe they've changed, they're only jackasses professionally now!"

You laughed, glancing up to meet Johnny's eyes.

"Yeah, maybe they just keep the assholery for when they're getting paid."

Before you could launch into any further discussion with the heart throb, the two cast members you'd least like to speak to darted over, calling your name.

"Did you miss us?" Ryan laughed, wrapping an arm around you like you were the best of buds.

"Can't say I did Dunn." You awkwardly shoved his arm off of you, trying your best to continue unpacking though Bam sitting on top of your workplace made that rather difficult.

"Oh come on, you had to have missed me after I dropped out!" Bam chuckled, leaning back, Johnny simply observing the mini high school reunion.

"I will say Bam, Raab shitting on those lockers was the best thing he ever did, got rid of the two of you!"

That's when Johnny finally interjected, laughing whole-heartedly and clutching his chest.

"Raab did what?!"

"You don't know this? Raab got expelled for smearing shit on a bunch of lockers so Bam dropped out." Ryan smiled, relishing in relaying the story despite the fact he wasn't actually there to experience it.

"Chris committed a string of shit related crimes but that one was truly the last straw." You nodded, smiling at Johnny's joy.

"Well hey, they were pretty funny, you have to admit." Bam extended his arm, attempting to grasp some humour from you.

"Funny isn't the word I'd use... disgusting seems more fitting. Plus you guys were dickheads back then."

Bam and Ryan matched faces of confusion.

"What are you talking about? We were dumb kids everyone just ignored." Bam said, Ryan nodding along.

"Seriously? You don't remember?"

There was an awkward silence then, Bam and Ryan racking their brains trying to understand what the hell you were on about.

"Remember what?" Ryan asked.

You bit the inside of your cheek, glancing between the two boys and remembering Johnny was right there too, witnessing this strange sort of confrontation. You weren't sure if you really wanted to unload the words that swirled in your head through in your teen years in front of the guy you kinda liked, the idea was not exactly appealing.

"Whatever, forget it." You bit your tongue, grabbing something and pretending you had something else to attend to when you were just desperate to make an escape.

***

After that awkward little encounter Bam and Ryan seemed to be making an array of unnecessary visits to your station, pestering you for band aids and asking if random bruises 'looked okay'.

"Bam you've had thousands of bruises in your lifetime, I'm sure you know that looks perfectly normal."

"Alright yeah, I just wanted to come talk to you before Dunn or Knoxville had a chance." Bam pulled down the leg of his pants as your brows narrowed.

"What are you talking about?"

Bam grinned at you, like he knew something you didn't.

"No it's nothing, I just like talking to you."

Bam's glimmering eyes were seeping into you but it wasn't really working, in fact he was becoming more of a nuisance than anything else.

"Well I appreciate the fact you enjoy my company but I'm kinda trying to work here."

Bam rolled his eyes, not giving up.

"Oh come on. No one's hurt you don't have any work to do, just tell me why I was an ass and I'll leave."

As soon as the words left Bam's lips a yell was heard where Johnny was performing a stunt followed by a 'Medic!" shout.

"Fuck." You muttered, grabbing your kit and running over to where Johnny lay clutching his ankle.

"I think I broke it." He spoke through gritted teeth, eyes shut tightly.

You removed Johnny's hand to see the area was already swelling.

"Help me get him to the tent, I have an ice pack there." You called out to someone, Ryan jumping into play as he swung Johnny's arm around his shoulder while you did the same with his other arm, helping him up and steadying him.

A gaggle of people tried to follow you along but you shooed them off.

"He'll be fine, Jeff can you tell everyone to fuck off please?" You called out, Jeff simply shooting you a thumbs up and waving away any stragglers.

As you, Ryan and Johnny eventually made it to the med tent to sit Johnny down, you noticed a stray had followed you along.

"I don't need both of you here." You called out to Ryan and Bam who both pretended to look mightily concerned as Johnny winced and you fetched the ice pack.

"I'll stay." They both said in unison, earning a glare from you.

"I think I can handle a sprained ankle guys, goodbye." You pushed Ryan and Bam out of your tent and closed the curtains, turning to face Johnny.

"Sorry about those idiots, they won't fucking leave me alone." You muttered, removing Johnny's shoe and sock and placing the ice pack on his swollen ankle, causing him to suck sharply through his teeth.

"You think I fucked it up badly?"

"Nah, probably just a sprain even though it might seem a lot worse, you'll have to use crutches for a bit though."

Johnny sighed, looking pissed off.

"Well there goes two weeks where I can't do shit."

There was an awkward silence in the tent then as you kneeled below him, lifting his foot with your hand to elevate it.

"You know they probably like you right?"

"What?" For being so irritated and in pain, Johnny was really gonna bring up Bam and Ryan?

"The idiots. They have massive crushes on you, I know it."

You laughed, shaking your head.

"You're delusional."

Johnny smiled, staring at you below him, rooting through your bag for bandages.

"I think I'm very lusional actually."

"Oh god, lusional? He's losing it nurse this must be something far more serious!" You laughed, wrapping the bandage tightly around Johnny as he laughed too, wincing through the pain.

Bam and Ryan stood outside the tent waiting for you, their ears only being filled with joyous laughter, their teeth now grinding together.

"Think they need help?" Bam folded his arms, beginning to grow impatient.

"She likes him. Of course she fucking does, what girl doesn't like Knoxville." Ryan spat under his breath, kicking the ground beneath his shoe.

"You know, maybe if we weren't such dicks in high school she might give us the time of the day." He added, turning away from the tent to fuck off somewhere, pulling out a pack of cigarettes.

"Come on dude, we weren't that bad." Bam called out but Ryan shook his head.

"Well clearly we were if she can't stand talking to us for more than two fucking seconds." He went off in a huff, regret coursing through his veins at the unknown actions of his teenage self.

Who knew being a bit of a dick in high school would come back to bite you in the ass?

***

It was a Friday night and the crew were off drinking at a local bar after a week of filming. Knoxville had been sentenced to two weeks on crutches and so was hobbling around the bar with them while Bam and Ryan were still falling over each other trying to talk to you. You sat in a booth next to Chris, sipping on your vodka soda and trying to ignore the pestering Bam who was getting more and more drunk by the minute when suddenly he spoke your name all serious.

"Just tell me how Ryan and I were such dicks to you in high school and I promise I'll fuck off."

You were pulled away from your lively conversation to be met with yet another awkward confrontation.

"Bam I don't wanna get into this, seriously." Bam threw his arm over your shoulder and pressed his finger against your lips.

"Just tell me! I'm sorry I was an asshole cause' now I really wanna bang you."

"Alright Bam! That's enough of that!" Like a deus ex machina, Ryan graciously came to your rescue, dragging his drunk friend away from you and pushing him towards another group of Jackass people.

Your eyes were wide, mouth slightly agape.

"Sorry about him, whiskey is like his truth serum."

You just shook your head laughing, still in a state of disbelief.

"Well I wasn't expecting a love confession to go like that."

"He has a way with words." Ryan laughed, shrugging.

"I'm going to the bar and am not ordering whiskey." Chris murmured, sliding out from the booth and leaving you and Ryan alone.

"So you and Bam really wanna know why I didn't like you when we were younger huh?"

Ryan took a sip from his drink, trying to act as if he didn't care as much as his inebriated best friend.

"I mean, kinda but- yeah. Yeah we do wanna know."

You laughed, shaking your head.

"Fine, I'll tell you."

Ryan's eyes widened.

"You will?"

"I will. but! only if you tell me one thing."

"Anything, what is it?" Ryan nodded enthusiastically.

"Do you have a crush on me too?" Your smile widened, eyes burrowing into his own.

Ryan laughed awkwardly, eyes spinning around the room trying to avoid your gaze.

"Oh come on, what are we 16?"

"Well you wanna know why I thought you guys were assholes at 16 so?"

Ryan bit his lip, considering his options when he just settled on biting the bullet.

"Fine. Yeah I do have a crush on you. That's why I wanna know why you're not giving me any chances so bad."

You smiled smugly, picking up Ryan's glass of whiskey.

"God this stuff really is truth serum!"

You both shared a moment of laughter before settling down.

"Alright I'll tell you. Sophomore year you were a Senior. I kinda liked your hair and I thought you were cute."

Ryan bit back a smile.

"I was at my locker and you and Bam were talking and I kinda overheard your conversation."

Ryan winced at that.

"Well that's never good."

You scratched the back of your head, smile faltering slightly when you remembered what you were about to spill, the alcohol in your system making your lips a little looser.

"Well you know I was pretty quiet in high school. Didn't really talk to anyone except my close friends."

Ryan nodded, straying away from any jokes as he noticed your change in demeanour.

"Since I was so quiet I could kinda fly under the radar, overhear things nobody thought I would hear, I was kind of invisible like that. Anyways, one day you and Bam were talking about girls."

Your eyes were stuck on the table, not wanting to look up and back out of what Ryan had lured you into saying.

"I noticed Bam kinda nodded his head towards me and asked you 'What about her?' I didn't hear the first part but knew it had something to do with sex or dating or whatever."

Out of the corner of your eye you could see Ryan was turning red, already embarrassed before he was even told what he had to be embarrassed about.

"And you said something like 'Fuck no she's a prude. Just an uptight bitch.'"

Ryan swallowed thickly, eyes flicking down to his shoes.

"Then Bam was like 'Yeah she's a cunt. Wouldn't fuck me if I was dying.' and then you just laughed and walked off."

There was quiet then, Ryan shaking his head and sighing.

"Look I don't hold it against you. You were just asshole teenagers and I'm sorry for acting like a bitch late-"

"No stop." Ryan stuck his hand out, interrupting your apologetic spiel.

"I was a fucking dickhead, I'm sorry for saying that shit, it wasn't even true."

You smirked, biting your lip.

"It was kinda true. Still is."

Ryan met your eyes then, his expression hiding a smile

"I just said that bullshit cause' I thought you were cute and I didn't want Bam to get his grubby hands on you."

You rolled your eyes, properly laughing then.

"Oh fuck off Dunn. Don't pull that 'He's only mean because he likes you!' shit on me now!"

Ryan shook his head, smile growing.

"I'm serious! Why do you think Bam and I are falling over our feet trying to talk to you now?!"

You narrowed your eyes and crossed your arms, smirk pulling at your lips.

"Are you telling me this whole time the older kid I thought was cute also thought I was cute?"

Ryan smiled before wetting his lips, arm moving himself closer to you.

"And what if I am?"

You laughed heartily, pushing Ryan's chest.

"Don't put your moves on me Dunn. Did you forget I'm a prude?"

He rolled his eyes again, chuckling.

"Come on let me walk you home before Knoxville breaks something else that you need to look at."

Ryan reached his hand out to pull you out of the booth.

"Jealous already Dunn? Guess you really are the type."

You allowed yourself to get dragged up, Ryan slipping his arm around your shoulder to usher you out of the bar.

"Hey where the fuck are you two going?!" Bam slurred out, bringing everyone's attention to you and Ryan.

You half smiled, unsure of what to say. That's when your eyes met with Johnny's as you witnessed him compute in real time what was happening. When he realised who you were going home with that night he simply smiled and winked at you. How was he always right?

"Taking her home asshole." Ryan called out, wasting no time in pulling you away, the urgency making you laugh.

As you walked down the streets of West Chester, Ryan's hand moved down to hold you by your waist, whispering crude comments about passer-bys in your ear to make you laugh when eventually you reached your apartment building.

"Thanks for walking me home." You smiled, holding your hand over where Ryan was holding your waist and turning to face him.

You looked into each others eyes for a moment, both of you smirking uncontrollably.

"I'd invite you in but, you know I'm a prude so."

Ryan rolled his eyes as you cackled, slapping his chest.

"I deserve that."

You smiled sweetly as Ryan did too, his eyes flicking down to your lips for a millisecond as your faces got closer.

"I don't think we should do anything tonight but..." You brought your hand up to rest on Ryan's cheek, rubbing his face with your thumb.

"I could give you something else." You whispered, leaning in and kissing him.

Ryan kept his hold on your waist but moved his other hand to touch your own face, deepening the kiss. He pushed your body to be closer to his own, moving his lips against yours roughly, beard grazing your chin. Before things could escalate any further you pulled away, allowing yourselves to catch your breath.

"You foiled my plan." Ryan laughed, brushing your hair off of your face.

"What?"

"My plan this whole time was to get the prude to sleep with me ten years later, it was strategy all along."

You both laughed.

"I see, you really plan ahead. I guess I'll just have to sleep with you now."

Ryan quirked an eyebrow at your obviously sarcastic response, resulting in a punch to the arm. You laughed pulling away from his hold on you.

"Goodnight Ryan." You turned your back to him and began unlocking the door as he still stood behind you. As the door opened you turned around, smirking before kissing him one last time for the night.

"Call me."

"I'd be an idiot not to."

"What's new?"

End.

@gnarkillknoxville @jackussy420 @lovexjoe @steve-osahottie @stratossphere @izzaaaaaa @jackassvivalabam03 @nonbinarypontius

[sunshine-embry]

Just because I need to yap about my opinions :3

I have the urge to rant about my Be More Chill Two River vs Broadway version, so I am! I might make another post of just things I like in the songs or entire musical itself if I ever feel motivated enough to 🤗

Before I yap a lot, I just need to say I'm a bit biased towards the Broadway version because I have a record of it 😁

Anyway!

More Than Survive: I personally prefer the Broadway version, BUT I HAVE REASONS I PROMISE. Idk why but the two river version feels a bit too fast for me, but that could just be because I'm used to hearing the Broadway version that I think is slowed down a bit. 🤔

Besides from that, the conversation that Brooke and Chloe have I think is better in the two river version because it introduces Madeline, which Jeremy uses as a story in Be More Chill Part 1 (does that sentence make sense?) Meanwhile the conversation in the broadway version is just there 😑

The "Christines" in the Two River version feels especially too fast, like they were trying to cut down the run time, while the Broadway version just lets it go at a slower pace which I really like.

I also prefer the instrumentals in the Broadway version (idk if there's actually any change to them, it's just at a more digestible pace like I said before) but I see people saying that the Broadway instrumentals of the songs are worse? Idk, I just like it better.

I Love Play Rehearsal: I don't have anything much to say about I Love Play Rehearsal, but I still do have a few things. I really don't prefer any version, they're both equal to me.

Also the fact that in the Broadway version, Christine goes on a small rant about how there isn't any good roles for women in theater anymore which is kinda ironic considering that one of the main criticisms of Be More Chill is that the girl characters are all one-note characters :/

In the Broadway version, I really love when Stephanie Hsu emphasizes the "I LOVE play rehearsal" at the end, it makes me laugh every time without fail.

Also, the Broadway version is faster than the two river version and I don't like that. I guess I just like slow songs :/

The Squip Song Something about the Broadway version of this song makes me so happy and idk why.

Anyway, I really like in the Broadway version when Jeremy whispers drugs even though he gets stoned with Michael. It's funny.

I am kinda sad that the Broadway version cut out the one part with Rich after "it helps you rule", 'cause it was really funny to me. This whole song is really funny to me.

I don't have that much to talk about for the Squip Song 'cause I usually listen to the broadway version because it makes me very very happy for no reason (literally, if you see me listening to it, I will actually smile sm)

Two Player Game: I know I'm going to come on strongly rn, but two player game is my least favorite Broadway version of a BMC song. Fight me.

First of all, the instrumentation kinda falls flat. The original gives such a warm feel to it if you know what I mean, but the Broadway one just kinda feels soulless.

I don't know how to explain it, but just know that I prefer the two river version wayyy over the Broadway version.

The Squip Enters: This is not a song, it's nearly a minute of screaming 🤗

Be More Chill Part 1: My main thing I don't like in the Broadway version of this is the Squip's talking voice. Emphasis on talking voice.

I adore how Jason Tam sings the new part added to the song, I love it sm. But I don't like the smoker voice. It gives me the creeps.

Besides that, like I said before, I love the new addition to the song in the Broadway version, it makes me happy for reasons I can't even begin to explain.

In both versions, I really like the part where Jeremy is telling Chloe and Brooke about how he used to date Madeline even though he didn't. Speaking of Madeline, I have a Madeline ask blog called @tres-magnifique (yes, I did only add this here to self-sponser)

Do You Wanna Ride?: I'm pretty sure it's nearly identical in both versions, having similar instrumentals and the same actresses in both. There's nothing much to talk about.

Be More Chill Part 2: Controversial opinion, but Be More Chill pt 1 should just be called Be More Chill and this song should be called Be More Chill Reprise. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk. I have nothing else to say about this song.

I can't do MTS reprise or Sync Up because they are two very different songs.

A Guy That I'd Kinda Be Into: Controversial opinion, I don't like this song. I tried to force myself to like it, but something about it I don't like. Like I said for the past two - correct me if I'm wrong - but I'm pretty sure the two versions are basically the same, there's no version I prefer.

Upgrade: Finally something I can yap about! First of all, I prefer the Broadway version. It's just something about it I really like!

I really like how Brooke tries to speak French knowing that Jeremy used to date Madeline. I just think that it's a nice touch.

Anyway, I really like that Brooke and The Squip don't share a part at the beginning, because the two river version where they do makes me really uncomfortable. Plus, I really like Brooke's part in the Broadway version.

I don't understand why they changed "damn" to "now" in the Broadway version. I'm not complaining, but it's just weird to me.

I don't really mind the fact that in the Broadway version, they take out Jake's part about getting sporty and playing cricket. I know that some people compare it to the part in Voices In My Head, in which Jake asks Christine out using something that he likes, but Jeremy does it using something she likes, but Idrc.

What I am kinda mad that they took out in the Broadway version though, is that they took out the part where Jake talks about his parents being in a money laundering scheme. Idk, it just makes me kinda sad.

I'm so glad that in the Broadway version they made Loser Geek Whatever it's own song. IT'S SO GOOD JUST FOR A SMAL PART?!?! LIKE WHAT?!?! I might be a little biased considering it's my favorite BMC song, but still though I'm so happy 😁

I also like how they added the whole "I'm tired of being the person that everyone thinks that I am" part, because it really shows that everyone (minus Michael) isn't happy with something and it just adds another layer to their characters. The overlapping also just makes me happy. I think that's it for upgrade.

I'm too lazy to rant anymore, tell me if u want me to do this with the second act. Also thank you for listening to me yap for a solid 10 minutes.

[melonteee]

If nothing else, OPLA’s marketing campaign was downright diabolical. Because the community shift from skepticism to outright hostility towards that same skepticism really started when the show runner went onto that YouTube Reverie a couple years before the show came out. Not only was that the first time the showrunner began doing similar “interviews” with YouTubers (who are, generally speaking, The Worst interviewers), not only is it where many of the common talking points in defense of the show originated from (most notably “It can’t be a 1:1 adaptation” in response to any changes), but he told all these YouTubers that he was *such* a Big Fan of all of them - even the ones who were critical of the live action - and that he was using their videos as inspiration for writing the live action episodes.

Now, I’m not saying that the showrunner was lying when he said those things. But I do think that such a move meant there were no boundaries and a MASSIVE conflict of interest between someone who should be considered a representative for Netflix and creators and fans with huge reach in the fanbase. Because suddenly the OPLA was getting reframed not as another Netflix product, but as a really expensive fan film (that Netflix happened to be funding) - a fan film that Fans Like Them were having an indirect hand in helping create because the showrunner was also a fan of them. Combine that with how heavily it was pushed that Oda had to approve everything, and the whole thing started gaining this undercurrent of the live action adaptation almost being an endorsement of their interpretation of the source material… even as it became more obvious OPLA would deviate heavily from that same source material. But that sentiment only got more pronounced as those same YouTubers started getting opportunities to privately tour the sets and some even spoke to the writers that led to being labeled as unofficial-official consultants. Now, with another One Piece YouTuber from the same Reverie that the showrunner took part in a member of the season 2 writers room, there’s kinda this unspoken atmosphere surrounding that corner of the community that if you heap enough praise onto this adaptation, you too could be scouted for the next season and get endorsed (maybe even meet) Oda too!

It would be funny that the whole thing was that such a painfully transparent move on the showrunner’s part (most blatant example being that he hosted an anime podcast that totally wasn’t made just to endorse the show guys! He just wanted to talk to all his friends about anime and just HAPPENED to make the last episode the same day the live action aired!) if it hadn’t been so effective.

Like I said: diabolical.

I can't speak on whether or not those YouTubers are good interviewers, because I literally cannot blame them for jumping at the opportunity since the early stages WERE exciting and I have no doubt they were barred from asking certain questions. But my opinion is...perhaps stick to journalists for interviews since that's their job hh.

But god the marketing was absolutely insane. Was having Iñaki meeting Oda and putting a hat on his head, AS WELL as Mayumi Tanaka, not insanely performative to anyone else? Does anyone seriously think Oda willingly asked to do this and 'pass down' the hat for a project we KNOW he was continuously not listened to for 😭 all I can see is Netflix doing the MOST to make One Piece fans side with them, and it WORKED!

When the live action came out it got INSANELY review bombed. It'd only been ten minutes since the episodes had come out and the final episode already had hundreds of reviews and hundreds of 10/10s. Netflix did all they could to make sure NO ONE cared to look at this critically, and it's so frustrating that it worked cause I can't even have a reasonable conversation about why this adaptation simply did not work as an adaptation without tons of people biting my head off.

I've said it before but I will never forget the shift of people questioning why the hell this live action was being made, and why the hell the Merry looked like that (la Merry had been leaked) because...guys she looked like shit!! There's no colour or personality in it and she just looks creepy as hell.

And that's what everyone was originally saying! But suddenly you have the show runner reaching out to YouTubers, you have the announcement that Oda's approving EVERYTHING (we know for a fact he didn't), and suddenly the public opinion shifted like THAT!

Honestly if anyone wants an a grade course in how you market to a loyal fandom, just look at what Netflix did! Because EVERYONE can have their own opinion and say they liked it, but as an ADAPTATION? I stand my ground in saying it failed miserably. Because the fact people who NEVER saw the animanga are coming out of the live action with DIFFERENT perceptions of the story and characters- to the point you are genuinely talking about two different characters - the adaptation has failed.

Because, yes, an adaptation can't be 1:1, Matt Owens is correct. But what he DIDN'T say, is when you adapt something, what you need to keep in mind is fidelity. If your goal for an adaptation IS to bring an existing property into a new medium, and WANTING to replicate the characters and EXPRESS the same story - which the producers said this would be MULTIPLE times! - you better damn well hope the non One Piece watchers can jump from the live action to the manga/anime and go "Oh! Yes this is the Luffy that was presented to me in the live action!"

And they don't, especially not with other characters. The amount of non One Piece fans who then picked up the anime and were SHOCKED at just how focused on Sanji and Usopp were in the original should speak volumes, should it not?

Again, you can like the live action! I think it did its job in essentially being an advertisement for the original One Piece. But as a story and an adaptation of One Piece, it just failed. And I simply hate being unable to bring anything into question because Netflix's insane marketing has made this environment of "it's good cause I said so and everything's fine, shut up" 😭😭

It's genuinely an insanely good example of anime to live action adaptation and why, in my opinion, it just doesn't work. But I can't go into any kind of depth about that in a long form video essay the way I'd like to because my anxiety would go off the charts - even if I speak reasonably about it, because of the air created from Netflix's insane marketing. I just think it's kinda sad hhh

[blueskiesandstarrynights]

ok so because the brain worms have completely taken over, I've been completely rotating the idea of the stranger things kids godly parents and it won't let me go so here are my headcanons for their godly parents with probably not enough thought put into them-

Dustin as a son of hephestus is probably a really low-hanging fruit, but it's low-hanging for a reason. He's constantly making all sorts of shit and he's constantly thinking about the science before his own life. Plus, I'd just love to see him with fire abilities. see how that plays out.

Stobin I bounced around with a couple ideas. I initially had them as mischief-causing children of hermes, but then I had a better idea- Daughter of Athena Robin and son of poseidon Steve. Here me out ok, her affinity for languages plus her ability to improv plans and stories really gave me those vibes and for Steve, he already spends a bunch of time in the water (swim captain, lifeguard) and he kinda gives me the vibes that he would enjoy just sitting at the bottom of the lake and just chilling (robin is so jealous he can speak in a language she can't and demands to figure out how to speak it too) (Side note I considered making steve a son of aphrodite as a close second bc of the charmspeak and such but poseidon won out)

Max I decided on as a daughter of zues. I loved the idea of giving her that much power plus the tragedy that comes with being a child of the big three. idk less thoughts and more vibes with this one, but I think it could also present some fabulous big brother steve moments with this kind of circumstance. If I were to write this I prob wouldn't follow the pjo plot exactly bc none of these characters are a 1:1 of any pjo counterparts, but I really like the idea of her turning into a tree for some time and accidentally coming back. It would kinda be reminiscent of the coma she's in right now and it could be fun to play with.

Lucas I was really vibing with as a son of apollo. Obviously, because of the ranger thing, I'd love to see him with a bow and arrow, but also because of the healing. @andiwriteordie made an excellent thought post about lucas with healing abilities in reference to him as a water bender and while I think some things would change bc atla and pjo are vastly different worlds, I think the core ideas of Lucas being a healer are still there and I rlly vibe with it. Plus, I. Really like the idea of Glowing Boyfriend. Also I think there's plenty of angst to be said with Lucas trying and trying to heal tree!max with apollo powers but that can't beat zues's spell on her.

This one I haven't had as much thought on, but I loved the idea of Erica also being a child of apollo, but specifically a roman one. It would take a bit for them to realize the difference esp bc I don't think apollo has many changes between greek and roman form and I think it could create an interesting dynamic. less thoughts here but I may have more as I continue my HOO reread. I would love to see her as an archer plus I'm obsessed with that trope of the healer talking to their patients like "you dumb motherfucker stop doing stupid shit and landing your ass here again." but on the other hand, her with plague powers would be so funny. dustin tries to give her this superhero "with great power comes great responsibility" speech and he wakes up with hay fever the next day

Speaking of something I need to reread more info on, I was kinda vibing with the idea of El as a daughter of Hecate. I think her working with magic could be really interesting, but I also don't wanna say much till I've finished my HOO reread and I've read more of Hazel's scenes.

Mike I think would make such a good son of athena. He always has a clever plan ready and things often go wrong when people don't follow his plans. Slightly less relevant but I think his creativity as a DM could really match up with this as well.

Now, Nancy I had a bit of a hard time with. I considered Athena because she always seems to have a plan as well, though I'd take her for a different aspect than, say, Robin, since Nancy kinda blanks out whenever things go off the plan. I briefly considered Nemesis since she's the god of revenge and balance and that felt appropriate, but Athena felt a little more on target.

Eddie I'm kinda vibing as a son of Hermes, that chaotic jack of all trades kind of son of hermes. this one is also mostly vibes, but if I have more thoughts later on I'll add them.

Argyle as a son of demeter i think works well because those kids always gave me very chill vibes and I think that would work well.

Will, I actually saw this somewhere, is a clearsighted mortal. It kinda ties back into his canon true sight and lines up well. I really like the idea of him spouting prophecies, plus, he can instantly see monsters for what they truly are which is really something considering

Jonathan is a child of one of the big three, Hades. I felt it kinda fit with his loner persona and I loved the idea of him shadow traveling, plus him attracting monsters frequently leaves him immensely guilty bc his brother who can see through the mist can spot the monsters immediately and it ends up being the little brother looking out for the older brother??? then in this hypothetical au they run away from home which leaves joyce utterly crushed btw. and by they I mean Jonathan ran away and Will followed after him. Jonathan hated feeling like he was putting will in danger, but will just couldn't leave Jonathan alone with the monsters he couldn't spot 100% of the time or as accurately. it's an utterly vicious cycle. Lowkey considering having jonathan run away with the Wheeler’s, I imagine they’d have an adjacent attitude to annabeth’s stepmom in regard to the monsters. plus I think the angst of Jonathan attempting to shadowtravel them into camp and he finds himself halfway down the hill on the other side as will is banging on the magical shield around camp unable to get in as a monster advances to be utterly delicious.

If I were to write this, there’d probably be no defined main character. Certain drabbles/one shots will focus on different characters, so just bc steve’s the son of poseidon doesn’t mean he’s gonna be the main character like percy.

[taichissu]

17, 36, and 49 for the ask meme!

17. Favorite Harugumi Play

if there are a thousand clockwork's heartbeat fans i am one of them, if there are a hundred clockwork's heartbeat fans i am one of them, if there are ten clockwork's heartbeat fans i am one of them, if there are no clockwork's heartbeat fans i am dead

36. Favorite Doodle

genuinely lose my mind any time i see tsumugi's zabi or citron's fucking uyu creature (honrs)

49. Any favorite Quotes/Trivia?

this one got a bit long so under cut

i'm not actually sure how to answer this one bc there are so MANY trivia i love and i simply don't know how to choose a favorite

i guess some of my favorite trivia (most of it turned out to be akigumi-centered but don't judge me for it too much i just think about them a lot) + (most are pretty well-known, but there might also be some obscure ones, i have no way of knowing what's common knowledge in this fandom anymore):

according to itaru, chikage secretly owns like a shit ton of rabbit trinkets (his last name is a play on words btw, utsuki is written as 卯木 with 卯 meaning rabbit, and additionally it's very close to 嘘つき (usotsuki) which means liar)

my favorite personas the guys become when drunk: kazunari (becomes a formal-speaking senpai), homare (becomes an emotional crybaby (me too)), omi (becomes the mad wolf), banri (becomes a giggly mess, the social kinda drunk who thinks everything you say is the funniest thing in the whole world), juza (becomes extremely honest), the theater idiot trio (tsumugi, tasuku, and izumi; talk about nothing but theater lol)

kumon is a health nut, he's really into working out and eating properly (which is funny considering his brother probably tries to drink shampoo on a weekly basis)

itaru, kumon, hisoka, and homare are all left-handed

kumon is the only one in mankai who azami doesn't use an honorific for - this would be because they met before formally introducing themselves at mankai, so azami can't help but see kumon as younger than himself

according to drama cd, kumon has zero knowledge about cooking and is absolutely useless in the kitchen

it was said before that banri and his sister have very similar faces, but in the marie antoinette event, banri says that he thought he'd pass well as a girl because of that and yet he still looks like a man

banri's sister's favorite mankai members are omi and juza lol she seems to be into muscular guys

banri is the only member of akigumi who's the youngest sibling

that being said, azami is the only member of akigumi who's an only child (everyone else in akigumi is big brothers!)

juza used to be a member of shogi club when in o-high but he was a ghost member and we don't know if he can even play it lol

banri is lowkey obsessed with soy milk for whatever reason and drinks it everyday lol (is it bc of those 2cm juza holds over him?)

another one about juza; it was stated that out of everyone the dorms, he has the worst quality of sleep - this aligns with the fact that according to banri he snores and grinds his teeth in his sleep, which usually results in people sleeping badly

mi-chan's (taichi's little sister) favorite mankai member is azami, ma-kun's (taichi's little brother) is yuki - this makes taichi depressed that he's neither of their favorites

out of mankai: the best (?) singer is juza, and the worst singer is omi (at least based off karaoke score lol banri is still in denial about it)

additionally kumon said that his only good subjects in school were PE and music, so that would imply both of the hyodo brothers have natural musical talent

everyone in akigumi can play at least one musical instrument (first shown in the 2nd anniversary musical etude, later revisited in the rad red)

banri: guitar

juza: guitar / drums

taichi: keyboard / guitar

omi: drums

sakyo: bass

azami: guitar / bass

other than that, i believe yuki can also play the piano, and matsukawa is the MVP

taichi can draw well! (he's probably the only one in mankai who can draw despite not really having a reason to or showing any explicit interest in it (like kazu being an art student, yuki being a designer, muku liking manga))

in my worst wedding, olivia's heels are 5cm high, taichi couldn't move freely when he tried 6.5cm on, and since olivia had to move a lot during the final action scene, yuki settled for 5cm

speaking of my worst wedding, banri is the one helping taichi with the quick costume change before the finale (he got a private make-up training from azami himself to ensure he'd do it properly!)

according to azami; azuma, yuki, and banri have the best skin condition in the dorms

taichi doesn't care to buy his own skincare products and steals banri's lol

tsumugi and chikage have a sort of tense relationship, since tsumugi is a pro at reading people and chikage will do anything not to be read lol

hisoka has heterochromia - he doesn't care to keep it a secret but sakyo made him ensure that he keep it that way to boost his popularity as ミステリアスな人 and keep people on their toes

homare is in great shape because of his experience with ballroom dancing which requires great stamina and core strength

here's the (possibly incomplete) list of characters who are confirmed to have been in relationships in the past: izumi, tsumugi, homare (seriously?? so few?? i must be missing things asklfjsalkf)

here's the list of mankai members who have numbers in their names: chikage (1000), misumi (3), kazunari (1), kumon (9), banri (10,000), juza (10), taichi (1), guy (100,000,000,000,000,000,000)

i was trying to keep this in some sort of order but i literally just started rambling off the top of my head and all the structure flew out the window </3 anyway, sorry for such a lengthy list, i have a hard time choosing a favorite so i just ended up talking about everything i like </33333

thank you for asking anyway!