#this is like half posted by request half as like an example of how i do these lmao

[pomefioredove]

a-yo there, Claudette! how ya' doin'? could I ask a request with the overblot gang like this: they are flirting with reader, in some case is more boldly, another is smoothly or a 'smart'/well thought out flirt, (because i'm SURE that leona and vil don't flirt the same, or blue and idia, for example). reader blushes a lot and looks away. after a second of silence, reader flirts back just as smoothly, slyly or boldly. how do the 7 primors react? 💗💗

thanks in advance! take care<3

oooh- yes, of course!! I had fun with this. it also occurs to me how bad most of them would be at flirting...

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ the boys do a flirt

type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, leona, azul, jamil, vil, idia, malleus additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu

anyone here familiar with Victorian courting rules?

well, Riddle is

he is alllll about etiquette

literally "no hand holding before marriage"

the boldest he gets is with... flowers

for what he can't say or do outright, he can convey in floriography

daisies for loyalty, pink camellia for longing...

if he's feeling bold, he may add a lavender sprig or two

now, imagine his surprise when you send him a red orchid...

his face blushes the same color as the flower and he gets all giggly

going around Heartslabyul, saying he's got to send you a red rose back

...as if anyone knows what that means

(everyone in his dorm thinks you're both crazy)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Leona is the god of avoidance

he would rather crawl on his hands and knees through sewage than be honest with himself about his feelings

so, what does he do when he knows he's falling for you?

bullies you

like, lovingly

it's just easy for him to banter and push you around

he will call you short no matter what your height is, let himself into your room to sleep on your bed and make direct eye contact with you while he knocks your things off your desk

like... petty cat behavior

he was not anticipating you to reciprocate

man, you have a mouth on you

the things you say... color him impressed

honestly, he likes you even more than before

...which now makes avoiding his feelings impossible... crap

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

unfortunately I think Azul's best attempt at flirting is staring at you across a crowded room

he's a flatterer by default, but, like, he actually likes you

he knows how to get someone into a contract, but not how to ask you out on a date

funny, right?

well, not for him

it takes all of his courage just to say you look nice

Sevens, what is wrong with him?

you make him feel like an utter fool... so, of course, he has to compensate

now, when he's around you, he becomes smarter, more interesting, and about three times as pretentious

to impress you. obviously

then you match his energy and he's right back to square one

who knew he could get so easily flustered?

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Jamil doesn't "flirt"

...at least, that's what he tells himself

before you, he'd simply never had a reason to. now...

how hard can it be, right?

and, well, he's not half-bad at it

Jamil knows how to keep his cool, and flattery is his second language

and he gets a chance to show off a little...

perfect, right?

well...

he can never seem to surprise you

every hint he tries, every subtle compliment and little smirk, you have something equally as crafty

...not what he had in mind, but, hey

the psychological warfare makes flirting much more interesting

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Vil is, perhaps, the only person here who actually knows what he's doing

not that he's used to flirting

he just... knows how to talk to people

he's always quite subtle about it

forward advances are tasteless, if you'd ask him

he tends to flirt in subtle, but meaningful ways

that is, he makes his intentions known through touch

nothing aggressive, of course

a gentle squeeze of your shoulder, a brush of his hand against yours, an arm around your waist...

just enough to fluster you (which he so enjoys doing)

imagine his surprise, then, when you start touching him back

wordlessly holding his hand, sitting close enough to him to feel your shoulder against his...

he'll admit, he admires your boldness

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

the only "you" that Idia is flirting with is a chat bot he programmed to talk like you

I mean WHAT who said that

he DEFINITELY does not have that. haha... that'd be like, super creepy...

on that note, he also definitely DOES NOT obsessively study your words and mannerisms to better understand you

...well...

listen, he just doesn't know how to approach you!

you're so... you! and he's so... him

so, he'd much rather watch your every move and fantasize about being able to actually... talk to you...

he is, understandably, terrified when you approach him

...even more so when you seem to know about him and all his interests...

???

...you know what? he's not even going to think about it

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Malleus can be a little... old-fashioned

and by that I mean Briar Valley old-fashioned

he was taught how to court by Lilia, of all people, so you know whatever he's doing is...

...strange

and he's somewhat aware of it, too

he just thinks it'd be even stranger for him to flirt with you like...

well... you get it

everyone else

he is, however, pleasantly surprised when you seem to know what he's doing

you've been reading up on Briar Valley customs, and recognized his courting rituals pretty much right away

...not that you're going to tell him that

reciprocating his flirtations is more fun when he doesn't see it coming

he makes that one surprised face every time

like this -> o_o

[thewispsings]

Oscar piastri x reader smau, but she’s completely anonymous and people are trying to find her after Oscar revealed he was married to someone?

nobody ever asked me | oscar piastri

pairing: oscar piastri x reader

summary: oscar piastri shocks the world by letting it be known that he is married, and has been for the past two years

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1, logansargent, and 1,017,827 others!

oscarpiastri: vacation with the wifey! 🧡

view comments below!

user1: oh that’s not

user2: excuse me the what?

user3: this is interesting!

landonorris: wait what

oscarpiastri; what?

landonorris: wait what are you being serious?

oscarpiastri: about what?

landonorris: oh i don’t know maybe you having a WIFE???

oscarpiastri; yes i do have a wife!

landonorris: WHAT THE FUCK

user4: oh so oscar not joking?...

user5: feeling like lando rn because what the fuck???

user6; this just ruined my day

maxverstappen1: i knew you were lying about SOMETHING

oscarpiastri: ive never lied to anyone, nobody ever asked me if i had a wife

maxverstappen1; that’s….fair

user7: THATS NOT FAIR??? OSCAR WTF?? YOU CANT JUST SPRING THIS ON PEOPLE???

charles_leclerc: nice pictures oscar!!!!

charles_lelcerc: wait a minute...

charles_leclerc: wife????

charles_leclerc: what?? what? what??

charles_leclerc: i am so bamboozled right now!

charles_leclerc: am i walking the prank? i feel like i am walking the prank

oscarpiastri: no you aren't walking the prank? whatever that means? ive been married for a little over two years now!

user8: TWO YEASR??? LIKE 730 DAYS??????

user9: no you guys actually dont understand, this is driving me crazy?

user10: this is SUCH an oscar thing to do tho.. like randomly announcing thats hes been married for 2 years??

user11: he took oscar core to a whole new level

user12: my heart just broke

user13: you should've announced that you had a gf first, my heart cant take this

danielricciardo: i'm a little late, don't know whats going on..so? congratulations? my condolences?

oscarpiastri: thank you daniel!!

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, and 691,616 others!

oscarpiastri: some more pictures of the wife since you all seem so curious! here’s my wife, yn, and her book store 🧡

view comments below!

user14: YN!!!! WE GOT HER NAME

user15: HALLELUJAH

user15: yn is a beautiful name

user16: HER bookstore?? she owns a bookstore??

user17: the way she probably has so much lore and we will never learn about it is so??

user18: we're only going to learn about when oscar randomly decides to drop some info: key example: THIS POST 😭

maxverstappen1: I KNEW HER NAME FIRST!!!

oscarpiastri: only because she's your biggest fan and she begged to meet you

maxverstappen1: stay mad

oscarpiastri: she's married to me??

maxverstappen1: and yet she's MY biggest fan

user19: DAMN MAX

user20: oscar was SILENCED

user21: i need to know when he them, how they got together, and what theyre wedding was like

user22: it kills me to know we will never get this information

user22: its actually so crazy how oscar said yn has been to all of the races so far?? like how didnt we notice her 😭

user23: what if shes been in front of us the whole time and we just mistook her for like a mclaren team member or something

user24: well now I have to go look at every single oscar picture out there and try to find something

user25: or you could, idk? respect that she doesnt want to show her face online?

user26: but thats no fun

charles_leclerc: it was great meeting her!! ❤️

user27: they met her? 💔💔💔

oscarpiastri: she says thanks for the lec ice cream!

user27: he gave her lec icecream?? 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

user28: ive only known about yns existence for a month and a half, but if anything happened to her, i would kill everyone on earth and then myself.

liked by oscarpiastri

. . .

note: thanks for requesting!! hope you enjoyed(*≧▽≦)

[soullessdianthus]

𝐍𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟑 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐊ö𝐧𝐢𝐠

Requested by @apollodeath

A/N: One more request to go (platonic TF 141) and then I will work on two König posts (including pervy!König). SO EXCITED! ৻( •̀ ᗜ •́ ৻)

𝐍𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐘 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒 | "𝐂𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲? 𝐈'𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮."

Warnings: smut (sir kink?, dry humping?, touch starved reader)

König had been gone for two months now – not the longest he was away, but definitely too long to your liking. Normally, the Austrian colonel would come back the exact day he foretold. So when that special date finally arrived, you’d be head over heels, butterflies tingling your insides.

He wouldn’t be surprised at all that you were all over him since he had placed a foot inside of the house. Hugging his massive arm, on purpose (or not) rubbing it against your breasts, while leading König to the dining table to feed him dinner. 

The colonel didn’t mind at all you being the clingiest girlfriend, he actually adored how longing you were for his attention. After some time spent in the relationship with you, he began to acknowledge the little detail in your behavior that guided him onto the right tracks.

For example, that evening when he got back from the latest deployment, you were wearing a flowy dress with a bold cleavage. Obviously he noticed the absence of a bra underneath it and your nipples digging through the material.

König got a little riled up, when you sat in his lap during the dinner, fidgeting occasionally. Oh, how he missed the feeling of your plump ass against his crotch. You made him feel young again, desired. 

So it wouldn’t be a surprise that soon after the meal together you found yourself bent in half on the large bed, knees close to the sides of your chest – face to face. 

The colonel had already slid your soaked panties off and threw them to the side, admiring your exposed, glistering pussy. König managed to undo his cargo pants and release his heavy cock from its confinements. You could look at it in its full glory as your boyfriend’s eyes were staring deep into your nasty mind, drilling his way inside. 

━ Did you miss me? ━ He asked with a heavy accent, calloused fingers tickling the softness of your stomach. He clicked with his tongue, when you didn’t answer him verbally. Simply nodding did not satisfy him. ━ Use your words, schatz.

━ Yes, I’ve missed you so much! 

Your skin was on fire, each of his very soft touches sending a shiver down your spine. The Austrian soldier was toying with you, probably mocking you for being touch starved to this point. But it didn’t matter as long as he was gonna give you the attention you needed so much. 

The hem of your dress fell onto your lower ribs, stopping at your chest. You pressed your head backwards against the bedsheets and gasped loudly, when König spreaded your pussy with his big fingers. 

━ Already so wet, heh. Did you touch yourself when I was gone?

━ No! ━ A high pitched message escaped your mouth as he flicked your swollen nub. 

━ Not once?

━ N-Not once, sir. I wa-waited for you.

König calmly and gently positioned his hard, heavy member over your drooling cunt. He slowly swayed his hips forward and then backwards, dragging that characteristic vein on his cock over your sensitive area. 

━ Gut mädchen [ger.: Good girl].

He praised and continued the easy movements, focusing on irritating your clit. Within the first minute your arousal covered his shaft, making the sliding easier. König’s palms were firmly holding your hips, while your calves rested upon his broad shoulders. 

Quickly, you became a whining mess, even he couldn’t believe how sensitive you were. And when out of the sudden your sweet orgasm began to build up rapidly, the colonel still couldn’t believe it. 

The colonel noticed how your eyes became watery, lips reddened and fallen agape. He felt you tremble beneath him, when the knot in your belly finally snapped and you moaned loudly for him. 

━ Cumming already? I’ve barely touched you. ━ König chuckled lightly.

You tried to regain the control over breathing while still feeling the sweet pleasure in your system. He was being cocky and that only meant one thing – you were in for a long night. 

━ Turns out you weren’t lying, heh.

[fanauthorworkshop]

Applications now open!

The Fall 2024 Fanauthor Workshop is a 7-week writing course led by Betts (@bettsfic). The workshop lends a supportive space to writers who identify as fans to receive constructive feedback on fanfiction, original fiction, or creative nonfiction.

Art by @emimayooo 💖

Where & When

We meet weekly over Zoom. You can apply for one of two sessions:

Group A: Wednesdays from Oct. 9 - Nov. 20, 12-2pm EST

Group B: Mondays from Oct. 7 - Nov. 18, 6-8pm EST

What

FAW is a feedback-oriented workshop with the occasional generative session. This means that each week we read 2 pieces submitted by participants, offer written feedback, and discuss them over Zoom. You'll be able to sign up for the week you would like to workshop your own piece, which can be anything under 6k words.

There may be weeks where, in lieu of workshopping, I present external readings and writing exercises. These sessions will be dependent on the number of participants. For example, if we have 10 participants and 6 workshop weeks, that means one week will be devoted to a reading discussion and generative activity.

I developed a workshop model that focuses mostly on affirmations and positivity, as well as descriptive over prescriptive feedback, which is to say, describing one's experience of reading rather than prescribing solutions to perceived problems. We also present improvement-oriented feedback, but avoid negativity, judgment, and pedantry. Week 1 is spent going over the model and how to give feedback.

About FAW

The first FAW was held in 2017 as an independent study in my MFA. I restarted it in 2022 and since then have led 9 sessions with a total of over 50 participants, about half of whom have participated in the workshop more than once.

Participation in the workshop includes entrance into the FAW community, an active Discord server where we host:

Ongoing accountability meetings, where we chat over Zoom about our projects and set goals for ourselves every other week

A monthly longform writing workshop, where writers can workshop any story between 6k and 100k words

A short story club, where we read and chat about original short form works

Events and activities like movie nights and co-op gaming

Scheduled write-ins and impromptu writing sprints

We also chat about writing and craft, offer resources, and share many, many pet photos.

In addition, participants of the workshop receive:

A one-hour consultation with me to go over your workshop feedback, come up with a plan for revision and/or publication, or anything else you’d like to discuss regarding your writing

Open enrollment in future workshops

Priority sign-ups for WTFS (Write the Fucking Story), WIP Cleanout, and other one-off generative sessions

Eligibility

Anyone over the age of 18 who considers themselves a participant of fandom and who is familiar with fanfiction may apply. A stable internet connection is also required.

Cost

The cost of the workshop is "pay what you can" with the recommended amount of $300. To be as inclusive as possible, I don't want money to be a deterrent for anyone interested in participating.

Payment (or notification of nonpayment) will be requested prior to the start of workshop via PayPal, Venmo, or Wise. You can also pay in installments.

Application requirements

To apply, you will need:

An informal cover letter discussing your fan history and goals as a (fan)writer (more specific instructions on submittable)

A short sample of your writing, either original work or fanfiction. This may be previously published/posted

You can apply via submittable. Applications close September 15.

FAQ under the cut

FAQ

Are there any content restrictions to what I can workshop?

The only restriction is word count (max 6k), with the following caveats:

If you workshop a piece in a form other than prose (for example, a script), your peers may not be able to offer constructive feedback on that aspect of the work. Participants are asked only to have a familiarity with prose.

Content warnings are required for each piece (if applicable), and participants who are uncomfortable reading certain subject matter may abstain from your workshop.

What is the time commitment of the workshop?

As a participant of the workshop, you'll be asked to:

Workshop any piece of your own prose up to 6k words, which will need to be uploaded to the group folder one week before your workshop.

Read 2 pieces per week, write out your individual crit, and attend the workshop itself.

What is the timeline of the workshop?

In week 1, we go over the syllabus and do a writing exercise. Weeks 2 through 7 will be a workshop, a discussion of an external reading, or a writing activity. Prior to the start of workshop, you'll be able to sign up for the week you would like to workshop your piece.

Structure of the sessions:

Question of the day

First workshop

Short break

Second workshop

We'll go over my workshop model and the syllabus in week 1.

Do I have to participate in the Zoom meetings (camera and mic on)?

Attending the workshop itself is required, and everyone is asked to offer at least one note of positive feedback on each piece, so mics are necessary. Cameras are preferred but not required.

You can't asynchronously participate, i.e. read the pieces and offer written feedback without attending the sessions.

Can workshop participants submit to OFIC Magazine?

Yes! Part of the reason I run the workshop is to inspire and promote the original work of fanwriters. You can follow us on tumblr @oficmag.

Who is running the workshop?

@bettsfic! In short, I lived a dreary cubicle life as a banker until I found fanfiction at 24. I loved it so much that I quit my job to get an MFA in creative writing. I loved the MFA so much that I became a writing teacher. I have some publications, awards, an agent, and 2 million words of fic on ao3. I don't have a book out yet but I'm getting there.

Currently I'm a writing coach and freelance editor. I also have a lowkey writing-related newsletter. And I've been answering writing advice asks on my blog for 10 years.

If you want an idea of the kind of writing activities I create, last summer I worked with @books on a workshop series which includes craft essays and some fun prompts.

If you're interested in my original work, my short story "Not If, When" is a good representation of my writing. For something darker, check out "Shut Up and Kill Me."

What is the workshop like?

Check out G's experience of attending the workshop. And here's some feedback from previous participants.

One final note: I'm working on updating the copy about the workshop on my website and move it over to OFIC's website. This post and Submittable has the most updated information on the workshop. If you have questions about discrepancies (or anything at all), you can shoot me an ask, DM me, or add me on Discord (I'm bettsfic there too). Or you can email me at ekweeks@gmail.com.

[transmascaraa]

Hi! It's 🍓 anon again >_<

May I request Ga ming, Freminet, Thoma, Aether, Scaramouche + whoever you wanna add with a S/O whos kinda a depressed bed rotter?

yk, doesn't really get out of bed, doesn't take care of themselves

example: brushing their hair, their teeth, eating, cleaning (they don't know how to cook or do a lot for themselves anymore)

I've been kinda a bed rotter these months (few years) it's actually really embarrassing being in this state 😭😭

multiple characters headcannons!

bed rotter.

characters: gaming, freminet, thoma, aether, wanderer x gn!reader

author's note: hi long time no see(it's been a few days)🥰 sorry for the lack of posts lately lmfao i kinda had basically NO motivation for writing whatsoever but i'm back for this one now‼️(i was busy with obsessing over the natlan characters for half of the time yes) so like i hope you enjoy this rn lol ^^ (🍓anon you're not alone in that state😔 it happens)

✷ Gaming

-WILL take care of you if you won't

-didn't get out of bed to eat?

-breakfast in bed, dinner in bed, lunch in bed just for you.

-he will brush your hair for you. (if you have longer hair/hair that can be brushed lol and if not, ignore this lmao😭)

-don't feel motivated to get up? he'll do his best to motivate you to get you out of bed, but if it doesn't work, he'll try again tomorrow.

-he never loses hope like he's literally sure of himself that he will help you one day

-and it works because he's literally the sweetest bf ever for caring about you

-if you don't wash your teeth or something, he WILL offer to wash your teeth in bed somehow for you but sometimes that offer was literally what made you get up

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

☆ Freminet

-again, will be absolutely the most caring and understanding bf of all time

-problems with brushing your teeth? okay, you don't have to do it immediately. if too much time passes he'll motivate you out of bed.

-not eating? he's gonna cook you the best food ever and bring it to you in bed.

-and he'll even bring some really tasty food from the house of the hearth if it ends up being really good for you.

-if your room is a mess, judging by the type of person he is, he'll clean it for you.

-but he won't kill himself for you, instead, he will try to motivate you throughout doing things that make you happy like drawing in front of you if you like drawing and stuff.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✧ Thoma

-literally will do anything and everything to make sure you feel okay

-trying to motivate you through sending you some typa tiktoks like "dancing in the rain together<3" with the caption "we should do this💕" or stuff that is very wholesome WHILE not being in bed and rotting basically

-i mean it did help quite a few times

-about the food part, you know who thoma is. he will cook for you BUT sometimes he will force you to get out of bed just to eat with him in the kitchen

-that's a really big thing actually (to get you out of your bed at all) and he's proud of it.

-will try to motivate you to brush your teeth by walking in your room while he's brushing his(i have no idea why i js think he might)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✿ Aether

-okay YES

-y'know how thoma got you out of bed by making you come to the kitchen to eat sometimes? yeah? well aether does it ALL the time.

-literally there isn't a time he will bring you food in your bed unless you've stopped bed rotting.

-brushing teeth? he will not let you come out of the bathroom when you go in to do literally anything(might force you to take a shower sometimes as well)

-if your room is messy, he'll just quietly scold you to himself while cleaning everyone for you, then afterwards confronting you about it

-another way to also get you out of your bed is him calling you to the living room to see some random video/tiktok instead of just sending it to you(it usually works)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

★ Wanderer

-does NOT tolerate this shit

-nuh uh not in the LEAST bit

-wanna eat instead of literally starve to death? come to the kitchen yourself(the best food is waiting you there)

-not showering and/or not brushing your teeth? he will scold you and insult you(lovingly) until you get up and do everything to be clean in the bathroom.

-messy room? standing next to your door with his arms crossed looking at you as if you were his 4th betrayal hoping that you care for him enough to do something for HIM if not for yourself.

-but like deep down, which he won't admit, if you don't do something he tells you to because you feel that bad and unmotivated, he might let it slide and tell you beautiful things while you're asleep on his chest.

-he loves you no matter how big of a bed rotter you are tho

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

woah i love scara's part

anyways i liked it as a whole lol

i hope you guys like it too^^

| @mariaace <3

[blueparadis]

hi, this is paradis. I will be joining @ficsforgaza 's fundraising initiative for both the options: for requests as well as for sponsored wips.

rate is $1 for 100 words and my highest word count limit is 1000 ( = $10 )

PROCEDURE :

Select a vetted donation link.

Send me a screenshot of your donation through my inbox or in a DM. Due to these factors, donations cannot be anonymous at this time. I will also share screenshots/proof of donation with @ficsforgaza for their records and verification. PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU COVER/BLUR ANY PERSONAL INFORMATION ON YOUR PROOF OF DONATION. I will not be posting any ask/DM sent.

Needless to say, please refrain from resuing donation screenshots. Make a new donation for each request. Once you have sent proof of donation and chosen your WIP, you can opt in or out to be listed as a tagged sponsor. I will update the word count for my wips, and keep a progress tracker for how much has been donated for the requested fics/drabbles in this google doc.

example: “I donated $5 for [ donation list ] I would like to sponsor your [ any of my wip name/request you would like to make/ part 2s of the fic listed below. ]”

| writing rules for ‘request’ option | —» fandom and all other necessary details are here.

[ point to be noted before reading rules that I do not generally take requests nor write part 2s but this is an exceptional case. ]

SOME WRITING PROMPTS if you are out of ideas yet want to help. I am familiar with a varied range of anime & video game fandoms so pick one or two prompts I'll punch them with the character of your choice.

ONE ( SFW ) | TWO ( SFW ) || THREE ( NSFW ) | FOUR ( NSFW ) ( let me know if any of you who want to donate need to browse more prompts or not. )

| wips for sponsorship |

— fresh wips.

bleach: ukitake juishiro x f!reader > At a marriage anniversary, Byakuya Kuchiki, who is highly reluctant to the idea of a second marriage, comes to know how other shinigami met half of their soul and of all, Ukitake's story comes to surprise him the most.

blue lock : sae itoshi x f!reader > Sae Itoshi has two sides: one that is reserved for the light of the day and the other for the dark of night. Unfortunately for him, you happen to be the one to witness the both sides.

[frost-queen]

Riding experience (Reader & Bridgerton Siblings)

Requested by: anon Forever tag:@missmelodramatic, @merlin-dahlia, @alex--awesome--22, @elllie-does-the-posts, @floatlosers, @merlieve, @queen-of-books, @glimmering-darling-dolly@denkisclown, @wildieflower, @meyocoko, @bubblybrianna, @justanothercoco@subjecta13-thefangirl, @m-rae23, @harleyquinnswifeyfrfr , @swampthing07, @melsunshine, @panhoeofmanyfandoms, @venomsvl, @the-uncoordinated-house-cat, @rosecentury,  @imagines-by-her,  @evilcr0ne, @vviolynn , @cherrysxuya , @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 , @niktwazny303

The horse neighed loud when you entered the barn. The stable boy finishing up the last of securing the saddle. You moved towards the horse, wanting to touch it as it moved his head up. Shushing her, he calmed his head allowing you to lay your hand on his nose. – “It’s alright boy.” – you said letting your forehead touch his head. There was commotion behind you, making you look away.

The commotion getting louder with footsteps. With wide eyes, you watched as most of your siblings entered the barn all discussing. Anthony clearly in a heated discussion with Daphne. Eloise joining in from behind as Benedict forced himself into the conversation as well. Colin and Francesca trying not to get between the heat.

“What is the matter?” – you asked moving your hands to your hips. Anthony broke free from his discussion, walking up to you. – “I’ll tell you what’s the matter.” – he started with his scolding voice. – “You going unchaperoned!” – he outed with a point of his finger accusingly at you.

“Anthony you are exaggerating.” – Daphne interfered. – “It is just a ride to Lady Danbury.” – she finished stating her point. Anthony turned in shock at her. – “I do not care if it were to the queen. Y/n does not ride alone!” – he insisted upon. – “It is but a small ride. Y/n will be at Lady Danbury before you have finished complaining.” – Eloise pitched in defending your maturity.

You gave her a smile liking how she tried, but with Anthony it was never easy. – “Anything could happen!” – Anthony called out gesturing at you. – “Like what?” – Francesca asked curiously. Anthony turned his head sharply to her. – “Like… like…” – he began feeling himself get angered. – “She could be robbed!” – he outed as Benedict laughed loud.

Anthony bloated his cheeks at that. – “A tree could fall on her. Loose her way.” – Anthony continued to give example after example. – “I think you read too much.” – Colin chuckled out. – “Why am I the only one caring for Y/n’s safety!” – he shouted  making the horses neigh loud. – “Oh hush Anthony, you are startling the poor creatures.” – Daphne said soothingly petting one.

“Brothers, sisters I will be alright.” – you reassured them. – “I’ll send word once I have arrived at Lady Danbury’s.” – you offered to please your brother. – “Absolutely not!” – Anthony made clear. He grabbed the reins of the stable boy that was leading your horse out of the stall. – “You shall be chaperoned.” – he said with a determined nod. You furrowed your brows a bit. – “You are all going?” – you questioned half in shock.

“Yes.” – Anthony said, turning his posture to the stable boy. Signalling him to ready more horses. The stable boy hurried back to saddle up the horses. – “Why?” – you asked confused. – “I am chaperoning you.” – he declared. Daphne moved herself in front of Anthony to speak up. – “And I am not leaving you alone with him.” – Daphne said, receiving a glare from Anthony.

“Benedict will chaperone Daphne.” – he explained, pointing at them. – “Eloise insisted to go along if Benedict went so Colin is joining to chaperone Eloise.” – he went on making you stare at your brother. – “Francesca will ride with me as well, she wanted to join out of curiosity.” – Anthony finished.

 “That is ridiculous.” – you let out at his most stupid explanation ever. – “You are ridiculous.” – you then said. – “We are coming and that is final!” – he insisted upon. You took the reins from him, leading your horse out of the stables. One by one your siblings received their horse. Outside you hoisted yourself up in the saddle. Waiting for Anthony to join your side. – “After you.” – you sarcastically said with a gesture.

“With you sister.” – Anthony replied with a smirk. Rolling your eyes, you signalled your horse to walk. Anthony riding beside you, with Francesca at his other side. Daphne and Benedict right behind you. Then Eloise and Colin. – “Isn’t this wonderful.” – Benedict teased. – “Family bonding.” – he scrunched his nose, putting on the most ridiculous teasing smile. Eloise snorted loud knowing just how serious he was about that. Very little.

Anthony looked over his shoulder, giving him a good glare. – “I didn’t ask for all of you to come.” – you said with a sigh. – “Oh, but we wanted too dear sister.” – Colin called out from the back. – “You sure there weren’t any alternative motives for you all to accompany me. Certainly you Eloise!” – you shot your sister a glare, knowing she was never too keen on riding a horse.

Eloise pulled her shoulders up. Her horse’s head whipped up when she neighed, sending an expression of terror on her face. It made you laugh loud. – “Are you enjoying yourself Francesca?” – Anthony asked, ignoring all around him. Francesca hummed shyly, sitting in quiet. You groaned loud at the pace you were going. – “Honestly are we expected to arrive at Lady Danbury’s by tomorrow?” – you called out. – “Yes, Anthony were are in a haste.” – Daphne interfered. 

“We?” – you asked curiously. Daphne cleared her throat. – “I meant you of course.” – she gestured at you. – “We shall pick up the pace.” – Anthony said kicking his horse. You all did the same, as the horse trotted. A pace faster than simply walking. It still wasn’t fast enough as it made you sigh. You would’ve been at Lady Danbury’s faster if it wasn’t for them slowing you down.

In the open fields the formations had changed a bit. Not a straight line anymore, more a group. Colin was riding with Daphne and Eloise. Benedict somewhere in the middle, watching the trees. Anthony never left your side as you practically remained the same. Francesca had slowed down, finding herself somewhere amongst the others.

She was riding closer to the trees. She gasped spotting a squirrel up in a tree. It ran fast up the tree bark. The squirrel ran into the top of the tree, ruffling it up. A few birds that had been nesting there flew up, startled. The birds flew everywhere for an escape. One bird flew rather low, passing right in front of Francesca’s horse. Her horse neighed loud, hooves up as Francesca screamed loud. The hooves thumping loudly on the ground. – “Fran!” – Benedict called out as he horse decided to take a run for it.

Galloping off as Francesca clamped onto the reins for dear life. You signalled your horse to go faster, going after her. – “Y/n!” – Anthony called out, ordering his horse to follow. Francesca cried it out, having lowered herself closer to the saddle out of fear. – “Hold on Fran!” – you shouted loud, kicking your horse for it to go faster. Your horse was puffing loud, galloping to catch up with her. You were panting, focusing on your sister.

Behind you, you could hear your siblings shout. Your horse neared hers as you forced it to ride with her. Riding near her, you dared to let go of the reins with one hand. Attempting to grab a hold of hers. The first time you failed, missing the rein by a few inches. Grabbing your own reins again, you ordered your horse to get even closer. For a second time you tried it, taking a hold of her reins.

You clenched your hand around it, urging your horse to slow down so it would make her horse follow. Both of you were going to fast, making it harder for your horse to suddenly go slowing down. Francesca was crying, wanting to get off. – “Y/n!” – Anthony called out riding up to you. – “Let go of the reins!” – he ordered. Francesca’s horse gave a notch, kicking it up. You felt a strong pull on the hand, clutching onto her reins.

The sudden movement made you launch forwards, losing your grip on your own horse. Your horse stopped, lowering his head aggressively. You called it out when you got flung over the horse’s head a few meters further. Anthony rode his horse forwards, coming to a stop right before you. His horse went up, kicking his hooves up to stop your horse from riding over you. Your horse came to a sudden stop as Anthony’s horse set his hooves back down.

Benedict rode past you to Francesca. He managed to grab her horse and slow her down. Coming to a full stop, Francesca got off, crying loudly. Daphne jumped off her horse to meet her half-way, wrapping her arms around her. – “Y/n!” – Anthony had gotten off his horse, rushing up to you. – “Are you hurt sister?” – he asked with panic in his voice. Eloise and Colin came as well. – “I think I’m fine…” – you told him, feeling your limbs.

Nothing seemed broken. Perhaps a few bruises would pop up, but nothing serious. Anthony sighed relieved, wrapping his arms around you. – “I was so worried.” – he breathed out. – “I’m fine.” – you reassured your other siblings. – “And that is why no one leaves unchaperoned!” – Anthony called out, having the need to lecture you all anyways.

You punched his armpit, groaning from the soreness in your arm. It made him look worriedly at you. – “I’m fine!” – you reassured him for the thousand time. – “I’m not riding that anymore!” – Francesca called out, pointing harshly at her horse. – “You will ride with me.” – Colin suggested. – “I’ll take her horse too.” – he added. Daphne helped Francesca over to Colin.

“I shall leave with Y/n to Lady Danbury’s. You all return home and take care of Francesca.” – Anthony said helping you up. Benedict wanted to join as well, but Anthony found his place with the others. He couldn’t leave his three sisters alone in the care of Colin. There needed at least be two men. Anthony helped you on your horse. Together you calmly rode over to Lady Danbury, where you received the upmost warm welcome.  

-------------------------------------

Read more of my fics on my Masterlists!  

[marsy-barsy]

Hello!

I am opening commissions to help raise money for @fahedshehab‘s gofundme to evacuate Gaza.

This fundraiser has been vetted by @el-shab-hussein

This fundraiser will help evacuate Fahed (38 years old), Reem (32 years old), Sahar (14 years old), Dana (13 years old), Mona (9 years old), Malek (5 years old), Yehya (1.5 years old), and Mona (60 years old)

If you have any questions feel free to send them my way

Pricing, instructions on how to submit, and example art under cut

Prices

Portrait

Sketch - €15

Line art (with coloring) - €25

Line less (fully painted) - €45

Half-body

Sketch - €20

Line art (with coloring) - €45

Line less (fully painted) - €75

Full body

Sketch - €30

Line art (with coloring) - €65

Line less (fully painted) - €115

Additional character is +50% the price

How to submit commission request

You must DM me all of the following information to be eligible for commission (for tumblr users pls do not send this in an ask)

1) a screenshot of your donation to the gofundme this is essential

2) what you want me to do (for example “i would like to comm a sketch portrait of x pls”)

3) describe what i should draw

4) if you are ok with me posting it to my socials or not (totally fine if not!!)

(edited, including examples)

HERES SOME ART IVE DONE BEFORE

[loveluvrs]

third time's the charm l oscar piastri x reader

request/summary – Hellooo!! Would you be able to write an oscar piastri blurb with little examples of the reader showing him off and him getting all flustered? For example, drunk in a club with her friends / to make him feel more confident / ect..? 🫶

author's notes – idk if this was what anon was thinking of but this is what i imagined 😭

I walked into the paddock, hand in hand with Oscar. I was talking about the newest episode of the series I had been binge watching. Oscar, as usual, had settled into listening to me attentively, as I yapped on relentlessly without an end in sight. 

I stopped when I bump into Max’s mum and sister. His family was like a second family to me, and I hadn’t gotten a chance to see them yet since Oscar and I started dating. 

“Oh, hi! I’ve missed you guys so much. This is Oscar, you guys already know he’s my boyfriend,” I say excitedly as he reaches his hand out to greet them. “He loves the curry I make just like you guys do. Sometimes I think he may like it even more. I mean, he always begs me to make it whenever he’s visiting home,” I ramble on excitedly. 

“Ooookay, we should get going now. Nice to meet you,” Oscar says before dragging me along with him to Mclaren garage. “What happened? I was talking,” I ask with a pout. 

He laughs as he rolls his eyes playfully. “Yeah, I know, babe. You never stop talking, do you?” he says playfully, “you should remember to breathe every once in a while.”

“Ha ha. Very funny. I wasn’t even talking that much! I was just introducing them to you and telling them how much I love you!” I say defensively with a confused look in my eyes. 

“Love, you were telling them I beg for your cooking, that’s embarrassing!” Oscar says with a slight laugh. It’s only now I stop and notice that he’s turned slightly red, making me giggle. Oscar gives me an unamused look before saying, “don’t laugh at me like that, you do this every time!” 

“I’m sorry,” I say with a giggle, “you know I only do it because I love you. I just want people to know how great you are, promise!” Oscar opens his mouth to speak but is interrupted when some of his team members approach him to talk to him about the upcoming race weekend. “We’re going to talk about this later,” Oscar says softly as he points a finger at me playfully. 

——

I screamed as Oscar won the sprint race in Qatar, and I immediately rushed over to him after the race, peppering him with kisses all over his face. “I’m so so proud of you, oh my god!” I say excitedly. Oscar’s face was already red from the heat, and it somehow turned even redder when he saw the cameras approach us. He whined slightly as he burrowed his face into my neck. “Baby, don’t embarrass me,” he mumbles quietly in a shy voice. 

“My boyfriend just won a sprint race in his rookie season in F1, of course I’m gonna show you off and embarrass you. Don’t expect anything less from me,” I tease as I give him one last kiss before sending him off. 

When Oscar returns to our hotel room that night, I’m already half asleep. He spends a bit of time on his phone while in my arms, trying to keep up with everyone’s messages. He stops when he sees an Instagram post from me, his embarrassed and red face that was caught on the cameras now plastered all over this post. “Did you really have to post that?” He asks me playfully.

“I absolutely did. You’re amazing, and you’re mine. Two things every person should know,” I say playfully, earning a playful eye roll from him. “But I look awful, babe!” He protests, zooming in on himself in the photo. I stifle a laugh. “Thousands of people would disagree, actually. Plus, you don’t look awful, you look happy!” I say softly. 

He gives me an unamused look. “What if I don’t want to look happy?”

I giggle. “Then you are one sick weirdo, Oscar Piastri,” I tease with a soft kiss to his lips. 

——

It’s Oscar’s birthday today, and I have been meticulously planning out every single detail for the past few weeks, including a party with some of his closest friends after qualifying session that day. Despite my protests, Zak also insisted inviting some sponsors to the event and key investors of Mclaren, to act as an opportunity for networking. I reluctantly agreed, although I knew Oscar wouldn’t like it. 

As I thought, Oscar seemed a bit overwhelmed by the amount of people there. He was whisked away to a new person every two minutes, and it was all too much for him to handle. He eventually sat down next to me outside with a loud sigh, leaning his head on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to invite this many people, but Zak said this and that. And you know how he is, he wouldn’t have stopped until I said yes,” I say with a frown as I clearly notice how he isn’t having the best of times at this party. Instead, he just smiles, leaning in to give me a soft kiss. He stands up again, holding his hand out towards me. “I don’t care. Just be by my side while I’m being interrogated?” He asks playfully. I giggle, and with a nod I take his hand, our fingers intertwining. 

We soon see one of my old friends that I knew from RedBull, and I introduce Oscar formally to her. As always, I begin to praise Oscar as a driver and as a person. And as always, he gets incredibly red. This time, however, I catch myself before it gets too bad, cutting myself off. When my friend walks away, Oscar has a frown on his face. 

“Why’d you stop? You usually go on for longer,” he asks softly. I shrug. “You always get embarrassed by it, so I just realized and quit while I was ahead,” I say quietly in a kind of embarrassed tone that he even noticed I cut myself off. 

Oscar shakes his head. “Oh come on, babe. Yes, I do get extremely embarrassed by it. But rambling on about me is so you, and I never want you to stop, you hear me? If I can’t praise myself then I need someone who will,” he says with a playful smile. 

“Promise? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything,” I say softly.

“No no no, absolutely not. You could never make me uncomfortable, ever. And you rambling on and showing me off is embarrassing, yes, but I love you for it. I promise,” he says softly. 

“Well, if you insist… then I guess I could squeeze in a few rambles here and there..” I say playfully with a giggle. 

[blyszczopies]

I'm now taking commissions for animated pagedolls like these for 45$!

Animated in a wobbly way, reminiscent if the Generation 5 Pokemon sprites. All pagedolls will be 250-300 pixels in height/width. Perfect to use as a decoration for your blog theme or a personal website!

If you're interested, please read the terms of service and how to contact me in the read more. You will also find there a couple more examples of my animations in that style. ^___^

Some older examples of pieces animated in this style, to give you a better idea of what I can do:

For examples of my completed commissioned artworks overall you can check out this tag on my art blog!

Terms of service:

I take payment through Paypal and I take it upfront; I will not sketch your commission unless you have paid at least half of the price. No refunds if I'm already past the sketch phase. Do not order a commission if you are not sure if you can afford one.

These are not first come first serve. I claim the right to decline a commission for any reason.

I do not work with deadlines. I will do my best to get your commission done as quickly as possible, but I can not promise I will get it done in specified time.

I will send you WIP images of your commission as I work on it, to make sure you're satisfied with the final product.

The owner of the character featured in the commissioned drawing is allowed to use and repost their commission, preferably with proper credit. The commissioned image is only for personal use of the commissioner or the person who owns the character(s) from the drawing.

I claim the right to post a commission publicly. However, upon requests I can keep the commissioner anonymous or refrain from posting their commission online.

I will draw: Quadruped and anthropomorphic animals and fantasy creatures; Original characters and real-life pets; Characters based off a description, if no image is available; Complex designs and several characters in a single image (for an additional fee); Mature themes (blood, gore, nudity, substance abuse, etc)

I will not draw: Humans and highly humanoid characters; Artwork promoting bigotry; Pornography

I might draw: Fanart/fandom characters. Just ask if I would draw characters from a specific media you have on your mind! Same goes for anything not explicitly mentioned here.

By commissioning me you agree to my terms of service. If interested, you can contact either DM me here on tumblr or send me an email to timo666dlugiewlosy(at)gmail.com with everything I could use while working on your commission: reference images, descriptions, various kinds of inspiration sources. Feel free to ramble about the thing you would like me to draw! That will greatly help me get an idea of what you would like me to create for you. ^___^

Thank you so much for taking your time to read this! Have a great day!

[cosmal]

you said hurt/comfort? maybe reader always gave to much of themselves in relationships (like they buy a lot of gifts, they’re the first one asking to hang out, stuff like that) and never had as much effort in return (w their ex partner for example idk) and when james (who’s love languages i hc are all) gives as much effort as reader does, and like buys them gift without reason, reader is just crying bc omg someone cares about me

this was really about me lmao i need comfort and very long sorry

pasta

summary no one has ever cooked you dinner before. james fixes that for you.

content james potter x fem!reader

note this req is literally from nov but i wrote it like two months agar and never posted im so sorry. also combined with this! request.

James bursts through your door with a mouthful of apologies already on his tongue.

"Sorry, I tried to knock but my hands were full!" he says breathlessly, holding a ridiculous amount of bags in his hands, mumbling sorry's for scaring you.

You stand at the bottom of your hallway with a hand held to your chest. "You okay? Do you need a hand?"

"Don't move a muscle," he says firmly when he reaches the kitchen bench, heaving his groceries up onto the marble with a groan. You move your hand to your lips to stifle a laugh.

"I don't want to be rude," you move to stand next to him at your kitchen island, "but what are you doing here?" You say it with a softness. He usually calls or messages you before he shows up at your flat.

"We made plans, remember," he says smiling. He kisses you on the side of your head before composing himself, starting to unpack the bags.

"I went to Morrison's and bought a bunch of stuff. Thought I'd cook you dinner." You did make plans, they were your idea. You didn’t expect him to do anything for you, you expected to maybe take him to the park for lunch or something.

"Oh," you say lightly.

You watch as he unpacks. Cloves of garlic, parsley, thickened cream, fettuccine, eggs, and pancetta. It looks like all the helpings for a carbonara. There's a Sara Lee chocolate bavarian sat to the side with frosted ice all over the cardboard that you assume is dessert. You've only been together for a few months and you're yet to have a homecooked meal together.

You're sure you've never had anyone cook you dinner before. Not without a reason or a special occasion. You worry suddenly that you've forgotten an important date.

You hum and smile along as James buzzes around the kitchen with enough energy to power a small country. You fret that you're tamping down his good mood but you're trying to remember your anniversary. And the first time you kissed. The first time you met. For a second you think you've forgotten your birthday.

He says something to you and you crack an uneven smile.

"Sweetheart?" he says again. He stops where he's got the side of his knife pressed into a head of garlic.

You blink. "Sorry, what did you say?'' You try to hide your emotion. Your voice is scratched with dread and you bite down into your lip to stay calm.

"I asked you how your day was," he repeats, setting the knife on his chopping board. He's grated half a block of cheese while you've been stuck in your head. You hope you haven't embarrassed yourself.

"Have I missed something?" you ask, voice drenched in worry. You hide your hands under the kitchen bench where you pick at your nails.

"Hmm?" he hums, eyebrows pinched together.

"You're cooking me dinner," you say, James's confusion worsens, "Is there a special reason?"

"Not really," he shrugs all blasé. This makes it worse. You don't understand.

"Then why..."

"Did you already have plans?" James worries, smile faltering. His confusion warps into something like embarrassment. "Sorry, honey, I didn't even ask."

"No, Jamie, it's not that!" you backtrack, feeling more awful than before. You just feel out of your own depth. "I've just never..."

He moves around the bench to stop where you're sitting on one of your bar stools. Your knees press into his thighs he's so close. "What's the matter?"

You grab his hands before you pick your nails raw. You think about hiding your embarrassment in his chest but decide against it. If you get too close to him you might forget bout the entire reason you're upset. You'd rather it that way but you're sure he wouldn't.

"I've never had someone cook for me," you admit quietly. You warm with a prickling heat and squirm in your rickety bar stool.

"Oh," he says, all sullen. "Well, that won't do."

You look up at him and worry you look pathetic. He cracks a smile and you're sure it's on your behalf. "What?"

"No one ever has cooked for you?" he asks. He's not rubbing in, he sounds shocked

"No," you say. You sound stupid, you're sure you look it too. You want to crawl up into a ball.

"Y/N, I know you've had boyfriends before." He knows about your past relationships and how they weren't the best. But surely they'd at least made you dinner. James overestimates them sorely.

"They never did any of this stuff for me," you sniffle. The first tear is a shock and then James is looking at you all upset and confused and the next one isn't as startling.

He wraps his arms around your back and holds you close to his chest quicker than you can reach to wipe your face. He presses slow and hot kisses into the top of your head and your tears worsen. They're sticky and thick, his cotton shirt catches the brunt of your embarrassment.

"I'm sorry," you mumble with the side of your face smooshed into his firm chest. It's too grounding and your tears don't slow like you wish they would.

"Hey, don't be," he says, smoothing a hand down your trembling back, "You deserve things."

You don't say anything, rubbing your cheek against his shirt. He tuts. "You deserve a relationship with effort, Y/N."

You hiccup. "I've never had someone care about me like you do."

James holds you so close you worry you're hurting him. He turns his head until his cheek is pressed into your hair and takes a breath. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," you say and try not to disturb where he's resting on top of you. You like it more than you should. "It's okay."

"It's not."

"It is," you sniffle and pull yourself from his hold. He lets you go though with a hesitance. "It is because now I've got you."

James finally cracks a smile. "Right," he sniffles to compose himself, "right and I'm about to make you the best carbonara of you life."

"I'm excited." You wipe the remnants of your upset from your cheeks and smile wetly.

"Good."

James sets to work. Buzzing around the kitchen after he'd plugged his phone into your sound system. Shuffling the playlist he made a week into your relationship. He sings his heart out, stirring whatever it is he's got going on in the pan.

You sit at the edge of the bench with the biggest smile on your face when he starts to serenade you. Wooden spoon held to his mouth, he sings an awful rendition of Lay All Your Love On Me by ABBA. You laugh so hard you think you might be too sick to eat the pasta.

Later on that night when you're too full to move, James slides a box across the table and says, "I also got you this." With the prettiest grin you've ever seen.

You're overwhelmed with love for you to be upset. Your boyfriend is lovely and you think you might be the luckiest girlfriend on the planet.

[shippingmyworld]

Youtuber!Timmy and Youtuber!Jimmy AU

Follow up to my Youtuber!Danny Phantom AU from this post cus I can't stop thinking about this AU.

Timmy runs a channel named Fairly Odd Creatures where he makes full-blown mockumentaries about all kinds of mythical creatures/cryptids. Once every 2-3 months he will post a video that's about 60 minutes long and the production value that goes into them is absolutely mind-blowing. People are constantly flooding his inbox, demanding to know what his secret is. There are all-out wars in the comment section of his videos (or whatever social media platform his videos are being discussed on) debating on how in the world the footage is pulled off. Nobody can agree on if it's super-advanced cgi or the best blend of makeup and props the internet has ever seen.

Timmy's secret of course is just the fact that Cosmo and Wanda will simply poof into existence whatever creature Timmy needs for his video. Then he just has to follow it around for a few hours with his camcorder and then edit the footage together.

The funniest part of his videos (and probably the reason that they're so popular) is that nothing in them is even remotely in line with what has already been popularized. For example: "Chupacabra's? Yeah, it turns out they don't drink the blood of livestock. They eat metal. Specifically, automobile metal. Don't believe me? Well I lost this Chupacabra in downtown Dimmsdale for a few hours and it ate half of this totally random car before I found it again. Here's a clip of it taking a chomp out of the tire like it's a donut." (The car belonged to Mr. Crocker and it wasn't an accident).

Each and every video Timmy uploads is guaranteed to hit number one on trending for a few hours, and then hover in the top 20 for a few days. This gives Timmy a bit of an ego, especially since whenever he posts a new one everyone at school is talking about it the next day. He tells himself that he can't reveal his identity because then he's have to explain how he's pulling everything off (his voice is disguised with a magical voice modulator that makes him sound like a dramatic narrator) and thus risk exposing Cosmo and Wanda. However, the second that Trixie off-handedly mentions she watches them he spills the beans. Thankfully for his fairies, nobody believes him.

Jimmy's channel is called Brain Blast in which he posts about his projects and the science behind them. While he does have a small and dedicated subscriber base, most of the comments on his videos are from months or years after he's uploaded them in the first place of people thanking him for posting such great study aids.

Part of the reason why he has a smaller subscriber base is because he doesn't edit his content. They're all done with a single take, which only is extremely impressive to anyone that notices. He writes the script, preps his slideshow and props, and then hits record. Even though he does plenty of "Fun Science" videos ("Alternative Travel Methods feat. Bubble Travel", "How to Launch Your Toaster into Orbit", "Make Your Own Rust in a Can", etc.) the low production and sound quality for everything gives off the same energy as those channels run by a middle-aged man recording stuff about their niche interest on their phones.

Sheen and Carl appear in most of his videos as his assistants (or lab rats depending on the context). They're pretty great helpers, despite the fact that Sheen always goes off script and Carl gets so camera shy that he forgets his lines. Jimmy has to cut in a lot with "That's an excellent question!" to get them back on track. Libby and even Cindy will make occasional appearances. In fact, most of his popular uploads come from videos that his friends requested: "How Real is the Science in Ultralord?", "Surprising Biology of Lamas!", and "The Science Behind Enjoying Music." are counted among his most popular uploads.

Cindy once tried to get her own channel up and running and was pretty popular for a while, but after a few months she decided that even part-time content creator wasn't something she wanted to invest her time into. Instead, she'll just muscle her way into Jimmy's videos on occasion. More than once she has basically hijacked Jimmy's script halfway through to talk about famous women related to whatever topic Jimmy is covering.

Jimmy can't really bring himself to interrupt Cindy's hijacking's, because whiles she's right about the contributions these famous women have made, they're not super relevant to the hyper-specific topic/experiment he's currently covering (he will just shoot a second video when he's alone and upload it to make sure all his points got covered). Eventually though, he'll get so annoyed with Cindy barging into his lab whenever she finds out he's planning to film (Sheen spills the beans to Libby all the time and she reports to Cindy) that Jimmy will begin to start most of his videos will a few quick facts that he thinks Cindy will like so she'll leave him alone.

When the Youtube algorithm starts recommending Jimmy some of Timmy's mockumentary's, Jimmy will start posting follow-up videos to Timmy's in order to debunk Fairly Odd Creatures. This in turn starts to push Brain Blast up in popularity due to association. Then a portion of Timmy's fanbase gets latched onto Jimmy. They start taking stills from Jimmy's videos to use as reaction images (because Jimmy gets very upset and frustrated with just how wrong everything in Timmy's videos are).

As to not expose himself on his channel, Timmy creates a second channel in which he uploads videos in exactly the same style as Jimmy's. He discredits this "Science" thing that Jimmy is apparently basing all his arguments on and jokes about how Jimmy sounds like a witch. The second channel isn't very popular until Jimmy posts a "In Response to..." video addressing Timmy's second channel directly. This inadvertently brings Timmy's second channel a flash rise in popularity and sparks a whole chain of video uploads between the two of them. There's a solid month of them uploading daily and basically yelling at each other about why people should unsubscribe from the other person.

Timmy throws himself heavily into the second channel (so much so that he almost forget to film content for Fairly Odd Creatures once), adopting a conspiracy theory persona that believes the earth is flat and that the moon is just a government projection. He invites his totally real alien friend Mark Chang onto the channel all the time to talk about Yugopotamia and help discredit Jimmy ("Like yeah man, I totally saw your radical disc-looking planet and had to fly down and check it out.").

And because people are normal on the internet, there's a whole sub-genre of fans that have started to ship Jimmy and Timmy's YouTube channels. 'Enemies-to-lovers' is the most popular trope for them, and there's even a whole subreddit dedicated to the ship that gets fanart and fanfics posted to it on a regular basis. Timmy is very aware of this group of fans and will occasionally sneak in an off-handed remark about Jimmy just to fuel them because he thinks it will piss off Jimmy even more. In fact, there's a whole slew of small channels that clip and compile 'JimTim Evidence' to fuel their theory that Jimmy and Timmy are secretly dating.

Little does Timmy know, there's actually a clip out there of him saying, "Jimmy may not be able to use his oversized head to deduce simple facts, but that least he can pick out glasses that make his eyes look pretty." Jimmy has watched that clip at least a thousand times on loop because he's low-key attracted to Timmy but refuses to admit it. It's part of the reason as to why he gets so worked up about Timmy's responses to him, because how can someone he's attracted to be just so wrong about everything???

[velaazuretail]

★⠀⠀ 𓄷⠀⠀₍ ABOUT BLOG ₎

★ - this Blog does dark colors for the edits but if you don’t like dark colors PLEASE tell me you want soft colors in your req! 🤍

★ - be specific with your requests! Don’t say something like: “may I request a ___ layout?” I don’t know which layout you want! A discord layout, tumblr layout or something else? I don’t wanna get your request wrong! /nm

★ - the filter/PSD coloring my blog is using is my FAVORITE filter so I mayyy or may not overuse it ^_^💧

★ - Please ask me if I’m okay with being tagged! I see a lot of posts where people I don’t know tag me..

★ - if you want to be mutuals don’t be shy to dm me! 🤍

★ - if you’re gonna repost my posts on a different platform, give credit‼️

★ - if you want to use my designs as inspo ask me for permission first and give credit! That’s all I ask for 🫶🏼

★⠀⠀ 𓄷⠀⠀₍  BLACKLIST ₎

★ - I DONT do real people, it makes me uncomfortable.

★ - I don’t do any characters that has very little recognition! — (I can’t find any images or recourses for them.)

★ - I don’t do characters that are overly $exsualized.

★ - I WONT do edits for a problematic ship.. example: Arlefuri, Dottoscara etc..

★ - if you wanna request a char x reader post (I forgot I still do that) I do NOT do nsfw.

★ - dsmp - any & all members, South Park, helluva boss, hazbin hotel, the amazing digital circus, boyfriends ( webcomic ), kpop..

★ - there’s probably more but I forgot half of them so please ask if I will be comfortable with your request or not! <3 — (I will dm you that I’m not comfortable with it and will be added to my black list RESPECTFULLY!)

★⠀⠀ 𓄷⠀⠀₍ WHITELIST ₎

★ - Filter/PSD Colorings reqs are fine! — (If you want a tut on how to use it I will post it for you!)

★ - I honestly don’t have anything else to put in here as long as you don’t have a req that are in my black list, you’re good!

★⠀⠀ 𓄷⠀⠀₍ TO DO LIST ₎

★ - Columbina and Arlecchino tumblr layout and Rentry graphics’s - ❌

★ - Dr Ratio and Aven matching tumblr layouts + discord layouts - Wip! ✅

★ - Sunday discord layouts - Wip! ✅

★ - Mualani tumblr layout - Finished but is not yet posted! ✅

★ - Sea fairy cookie tumblr layout - ❌

★ - Sunday + Robin matching Rentry template - ❌

★ - Argenti and Boothill Rentry graphics - ❌

★ - BSD Discord layouts - ❌

Click tags to see all my posts!

— Tumblr Layout by : @cloverlyric

Check them out!

[voidy-vibing]

Hey, so I've seen that Zerum (the co-owner of the Pressure discord server and game) is getting a huge tons of fucking hate and DEATH THREATS?? for making Sebastian x Zerum (Their Sona) canon!!

I would like to mention that nobody here should give a shit if it's canon or not. Zerum has stated that it is FINE if you selfship, do oc x canon (specifically Sebastian) and enjoy his character. They only requested that no ship art IN GENERAL TOO should be posted in the OFFICIAL discord server of Pressure!!!!!

I am not targetting anyone specifically who is hating on Zerum, but sending death threats, calling them a snowflake and possessive of Sebastian will literally change nothing in canon. Fandoms have ALWAYS went against canon ESPECIALLY when it came to shipping characters NEVERTHELESS MARRIED ONES!! Take Ethan Winters from RE8 for example.

You could technically argue that them adding a wedding ring is to SPITE the Sebastian Simps, but honestly it's only funny to me and not spiteful or petty??? Even Sebastian's voiceline by Gianni (who encourages Seb x Zerum) is funny but people just didn't consider it canon until they saw bro's ring 😭😭 but it's literally... HARMLESS... I'd even argue that he looks good with a ring on (not saying this in any sort of suggestive/romantic way mind you /lh). And no I'm not here to say that 'oh you should ship Sebastian x Zerum!!!' because let's be honest half of the fanbase doesn't do that. And that's perfectly NORMAL, what ISN'T normal is the constant bullying of a creator who made a harmless selfship canon. If Zerum wouldn't ALLOW selfships ENTIRELY that'd be a whole other thing, but they just ask that it simply isn't shown on discord- they never said you aren't allowed to ship what you want.

If Zerum doesn't want ship talk in the discord server, that's valid, and should be respected. Don't go harassing them and saying they're a possessive insecure bitch, and even if they were, going to their DMs and insulting them is just low. They're not stopping anyone from doing what they want. It's a natural consequences that shipping will happen but it doesn't mean some people will WANNA see it, and of course you can't block out everything but yeah.

Apparently, there's stuff on Twitter too but I don't have funny bird app and never plan on that, so if I'm getting this wrong correct me but I am speaking my mind on these matters and I think we all collectively as a fandom should do what every other fandom does.... just ignore canon because that's what has happened for YEEEAAARS on end.

So in conclusion: don't like canon? Move on, and do your own ships because I lowkey love seeing them because they're very adorable, even if I'm not a selfship/oc x Sebastian fellow myself, I'm not a fandom police but I wanted to bring attention to the constant bullying of Zerum and how it really is stupid.

[winstonsns]

Hii omg so first, I love your writing. I just now realized I wasn't following despite reading like half your post so now I'm following😊 but anyways i was wondering if you could do the gang members separately ofc with a little sister who just started dating someone? How would they would react? I know my older brothers are protective of me so I wonder how you think the gang would be? Thank you for your time and have a great day🥰

the gang and little sister!reader who dates (request)

authors note: fully platonic between reader and the gang!! sorry this took a while, i hope you enjoy 💗

includes ponyboy, johnny, soda, darry, dally, two-bit and steve

word count: 3.0k

warnings: cussing, threats of beating someone up, arguments

PONYBOY CURTIS

you and pony just had a one year age gap, so the two of you were expectedly the closest in the family and in the gang in general

you had gone into the next grade early, both of you were freshman and it was getting harder and harder to hide a secret from your brother

pony sat in the back of his math class, zoning out but knowing the material of the worksheet well when he heard giggling in front of him

directly in front of him was someone you would hang out with often, yet he didn’t quite know their name yet, but they would come over to the house often and you would spend the time in your room with them

the person next to your suspected friend was of course, you, pony’s sister

the two of you were leaning into each other, whispering then passing notes to one another after getting in trouble for talking

by the time the period was done, you and your so-thought friend gave each other a hug and a kiss on the cheek, parting ways while you waited for your brother to pack up his backpack

he stood in awe at you and your friend— partner, he now guessed, his mouth open in shock while the teacher told you two, “curtis, out!”

the two of you walked, exiting the classroom while your brother continued asking you various questions

you then answered one, “we’re dating. i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner, i haven’t had the right time.”

you and your brother slowly walked to the next class before he asked, “they good to you?” you replied with a nod and a smile

if you’re on good terms with your partner, he’s on good terms with your partner

if you’re upset with your partner, he’s upset with your partner

he doesn’t show that he’s protective of you but guessed that your partner already knows that

if your partner fucks up your mindset or makes your standards lower somehow, for example makes you think you don’t even deserve the bare minimum, he and the gang will make sure they never walk into the school again

JOHNNY CADE

you and your brother, johnny, are extremely close because you’re all the other has besides the gang

so the two of you tell each other everything, you’re only a few years apart and trust each other more than you trust yourselves

the curtis brothers had told you that you and johnny could stay over anytime, so you decided to sleep at their house for the night, your parents were screaming and hitting each other

as you and your brother were laying on the couch and talking, you paused and looked at the ground

“you okay, sis?” he asked, concerned for you, you replied with another question, “promise you won’t be mad?” looking at him, somewhat nervous to tell him

“um… i just started dating someone…” you looked up at him, smiling slightly before looking back down at the floor, messing around with the blanket over your legs

johnny smiled at you, “really? are they nice, do they treat you well?” he was interested and wanted to hear about how your relationship was going

“they’re real nice! gave me flowers when they asked me to be their girlfriend!” you beamed, smiling widely and putting your hands in your lap

your brother smiled at you, he’s certainly happy that you’re enjoying another person’s presence but continues to worry about you

he doesn’t really have an opinion on your partner, he won’t go to them unless they come to him first because he doesn’t feel the need to form a friendship with them

he’ll only do it if you want him to, he loves you too dearly to say no to you, you’re the only family, by blood, that he truly cares about

johnny’s protective of you and wants you to be the happiest you can be, so if your partner can provide that for you then he’ll leave you two be

but if your partner cheats on you or does something to make you terribly upset, he won’t fight them himself but will instead get someone like dally to fuck them up

SODAPOP CURTIS

soda was in his room, next to yours when he heard kissing and giggling nextdoor

his interest peaked and he got up from his bed, walking slowly as to not let you notice the footsteps

he peeked into your room, seeing you and another person kissing, he swung open the door with an, “ooooooh!!!!!!” smiling and giggling, trying to control himself from jumping up and down

you and your partner stopped kissing, complaining, “soda!!! out!!!” he continued smiling and staying out of your room, “actually, im not in your room!! is this your partner?”

you stated, “yeah, soda..” and he replied, “love you, sis!! don’t do anything bad, leave the door open, have fun but not too much fun!!”

he left a gap in the door while you stated, “love you too, soda!”

he teases you so much about your relationship, always asking, “soooo what’d you and your partner do?” “did you guys kiss?” “y/n, leave the door open, you know that!!!”

soda’s honestly your biggest supporter and will always support you, he’ll always back you up during arguments

most of the time, he’s a super bubbly and energetic guy so he’s naturally nice to your partner, but he lets them know not to mess up the relationship

however, if your partner shows the slightest bit of disinterest or disrespect towards you, he’s telling them to get their shit together and act like a good partner towards you

DARRY CURTIS

darry was at work, fixing roofs when he heard a familiar voice passing by, he then heard an unfamiliar voice talking with you

he slightly turned his head to see you with another person, slushies in your hands and arms interlinked

the two of you didn’t notice your older brother and continued to walk to wherever your destination was, he decided to confront you when you would come home

by the time he was done with work, he came home, covered in sweat and dirty clothes

he walked past your room, seeing you sitting on your bed, reading a book, you glanced up at him and stated, “welcome home, darry. how was work?” you smiled at him, if he didn’t see you talking to someone, he never would’ve guessed you were in a relationship

darry slowly opened the door, closing it slightly behind him and stating, “work would’ve been perfect if i knew who you were hanging out with.”

you looked up at him, “oh, we’re dating, if that’s okay. sorry that i didn’t tell you, i hope you’re not mad...” you nervously glanced around, trying to find a distraction

he didn’t want to say something to upset you, “they do anything that bothers you, you come straight to me, understand?” he stated, putting his hands firmly on his hips

“sure, bro. thank you.” you thanked, your oldest brother walking out of your room quietly

darry’s very intimidating so your partner acts extra careful to treat you well, knowing the slightest thing that upsets you could get their life ruined

he’s probably the most protective out of all the greasers, you’re the only girl and the youngest in the family so he’s way overprotective of you and every situation you get into

at the slightest bit of danger, he is by your side and will always help you whenever you need it

he’ll still act uptight and cold around your partner even if you and them are on good terms

he will likely never trust them and will always side with you because you’re his sister

probably threatens your partner to treat you well ‘or else’

DALLAS WINSTON

you had been living at your aunt’s house for the past few years because your parents neglected you

your older brother, dally, would drop by occasionally to check up on you, he had his own place where he was staying

so one day, he decided to walk to your house, dropping by unannounced and taking the key to the door, unlocking it and walking inside

he wanted to scare you, but heard giggling and kissing sounds from your room so he paused in his place and put his hands in his pockets

as he walked to your room, the sounds grew louder and louder and he swung your bedroom door open, seeing you kissing another person around your age

“hey!!!” he yelled, staring directly into your so-thought partner, making them get up quickly and run out of the bedroom

he chased them out of the house, hearing you complaining as your brother yelled, “get out, man!! could’ve pulled my fuckin’ heater on you!!”

as he saw them running across the street, he slammed the front door shut and locked it, stomping back to your room

he put his hands on his hips and asked, “who the hell was that, sis?” standing in the doorway, making sure you couldn’t get out

you laid on your stomach, kicking your feet and reading a book, acting unbothered

“hey,” dally tried to make himself noticed, walking over to you and pulling the book out of your hands, putting a bookmark in the page you were reading

“the fuck, dally?” you asked angrily, flipping onto your back and kicking him in the stomach hard

he groaned, you began to kick at him constantly to the point where he grabbed both of your feet and swinging them to the side of the bed

“go away!!” you turned away from him, your brother asked you, “who was that person?” and you didn’t answer

he began to poke you, making you irritated, you groaned, “that’s my partner, man!! we’ve been together for five months, now go awaaaayyyy!!!”

he stared at you, “what.”

he doesn’t care how long you and your partner have been dating, dally will not warm up to them no matter what

he’s extremely overprotective of you and might even be rude to your partner sometimes, although you and your partner are young, if they argue or yell at you or do something that makes you upset, he’ll come back with bloodied fists

if you try to make the two of them bond, he’ll act as scary as he can so they know not to do anything wrong to you

dally cares about you more than he does for any other person, if anyone were to hurt you then their life would get fucked up quickly

if your partner treats you well and it is evident that they love you, your brother might act a little nicer than he normally does towards them

TWO-BIT MATHEWS

two-bit’s youngest sister, ellie, had come running to him, screaming, “keith, keith!!! there’s someone in y/n’s room!!”

he immediately turned his head to his youngest sister and got up from the couch, all his attention being on the situation now

he walked quickly instead of running and opened your bedroom door to see you sitting on the bed, another kid trying to jump out of the window but clearly failing

he walked over to the window and pulled the person down by their shirt, pushing them to sit on the bed next to you

your brother looked at you and crossed his arms, trying to appear intimidating, asking, “you gonna tell me who this kid is?”

ellie was standing in the doorway when you told her to leave, silence filling the room and your brother still staring at you

you sighed, “they’re my partner.”

keith tilted his head up and rubbed his eyes, “jesus, did you tell mom yet? how long have you two been dating, how old even are they!?”

fidgeting with your hands, you answered, “i didn’t tell mom yet, she’s always at work. we’ve been dating for around four months… they’re 14…”

‘a year older than you,’ he thought, as he saw the nervous look on your face, he softened his voice and asked, “when are they leaving?”

you and your partner looked at each other then to the clock in your room, their eyes went wide and said, “oh shit! i’m late, uh— um, i gotta be home! bye y/n, bye keith!!”

your brother made a weird face at your partner, not liking how they said his actual name, hearing footsteps running out the door and seeing them through your window

your brother sat down next to you and asked, “why didn’t you tell me, sis?” a glimpse of vulnerability in his eyes, looking at you worriedly

“i thought you’d be mad… i don’t know… sorry…” you mumbled, staring at the ground in shame, tears forming in your eyes

“i’d never be mad at you, y/n, there is no problem with finding someone you love. bonus if they love you back. you don’t have to keep secrets from me, it’s okay…” he reassured you

you didn’t say anything back, wiping your tears on your face and sniffling, stating, “thank you.” he replied with, “yeah, no problem sis.”

the moment of silence was interrupted with keith joking, “although, what was that haircut!!?”

you hit his shoulder and stated, “shut up!! they just got a haircut and i’m not gonna tell them it looks bad!!”

two-bit isn’t gonna be enraged if you end up dating, but he does want you to tell him if you do

although he normally acts the same with everyone, he’ll act differently towards your partner, appearing intimidating and protective of you

but he warms up to your lover as soon as he sees the two of you are in love, he tells them jokes and enjoys seeing you two laughing and immediately looking at each other

keith teases the two of you all the time too, laughing like a maniac once the both of you are blushing at the joke

STEVE RANDLE

steve was standing at the cash register in the DX, talking to soda while waiting for any customer to walk in

your brother, steve, glanced at the clock to see it was 3:24pm, his eyes went wide and hurriedly rushed to the back, searching for keys to soda’s car

“shit, soda, i forgot to pick up my sister from school!!” he stated, hearing a bell ringing because someone had come in

he heard two voices, one familiar and one not, he turned around and forgot about the keys, seeing you walking towards him and another person around your age following you

“y/n, i understand you’re upset—“ the other person said, you angrily replied, “leave me be, please.” you stared at soda then to your brother, a pleading look on your face that implied you wanted the classmate behind you to leave

you walked behind the register, going into the back while your classmate tried to follow you

your brother blocked them from walking into the back, asking, “who the hell are you, huh? what’d you do to my sister?”

he inched closer and closer to them, standing taller and more intimidating as they stuttered, “i’m— i’m her partner— i’m just trying to talk to her about, uh, something—“

steve stared at him, yelling back, “sis, is this your partner?” fully ignoring the other question he had previously asked your partner

“uh, yeah, that’s my partner. sorry you had to find out this way, steve!!!” you yelled back, he heard sniffles from the back room, soda not in sight, ‘probably comforting you,’ your brother thought

steve sighed, asking your partner once again, “why was she runnin’ away from you? what’d you do?”

your partner looked around nervously, stating, “well, maybe you’ll get it because you’re a guy. so, we were doing this weird circle thing in class, right? and i held hands with another girl—“

your brother interrupted him quickly, asking, “did you choose to hold hands with her and not my sister, your girlfriend?” his eyebrows raising

“well, yeah, it ain’t that big of a deal—“ they replied, steve immediately commanding in a threatening voice, “apologize to her now, then get your ass out of here.”

he pushed your partner closer to the back but not yet in the next room, seeing you sitting down and soda talking with you

“um—uh, sorry y/n. will i see you—“ steve interrupted your classmate, “no.” and grabbed them by the back of the shirt, dragging them to the entrance of the DX, opening the door and pushing them out

they scrambled up off the ground and ran into the direction of their house while he watched them, making sure your partner was gone

steve can get real pissed at your partner, depending whether or not they do something to make you upset

when they make you real upset, he confronts the shit out of your partner and makes them apologize until they realize the consequences of their actions, they could at most get beat up by him if you allow it

he might eventually form a bond with your partner if you’re okay with it, he gives them advice on what to do if they want to take you out on a date

at first he’s confused if the two of them meet on good circumstances, if not then he’ll be as pissed as you are

steve is normally pretty chill with your partner, doesn’t necessarily have an opinion on them for a while unless they’re a dick to you

[its-time-to-write]

Hi!! I hope you’re well! This ask is a little diff from the norm BUT it’s with Jamie and Bea (his daughter OC you created I don’t remember her name exactly I’m so sorry) but basically it’s her like dealing with a stupid boy who reminds her father a lot of himself and he helps her understand that she’s worth the world!! She eventually finds herself an amazing guy and tells Jamie sm like “I wouldn’t let myself settle for anything less than the example you set”? Anywho I’m always here for Jamie in his dad era so if you’re inspired TY ILY YOURE AMAZING KEEP SLAYING I REREAD YOUR FICS LIKE EVERY NIGHT🫶🫶🫶

wow, two posts in one day?😱 the mission to clean out my inbox continues! this fic is a little out of my wheelhouse, but I did my best. the title is from “betty” bc teens are dumb and also great. here are the other fics in this universe:

you’re losing me

i’ll still be right next to you my dear

today’s a day like any other

lyrical smile, indigo eyes

thanks for requesting!!🩵

i don’t know anything

“It’s just for school, Jamie,” you say.

“Yeah, it’s just for school, dad,” Bea says. 

You point to her from the kitchen. “Stay out of this, kid.”

She puts her hands in the air and backs away. “And hang up your bag!” you call.

Jamie hovers over your shoulder. He’s supposed to be helping with dinner, as he’s taken up cooking more since his retirement from football. 

“Look,” you say as you slice vegetables, “you said nothing when Theo had a girl over last week. Why are you so fucking weird about Bea having a boy over?”

“Because- she- he- it’s different,” he sputters.

You hand him a head of lettuce with the command, “Shred.” He starts tearing it into pieces, letting it fall into a bowl.

“And how, Jamie Tartt, is that different?”

“Theo is fucking twelve. He’s a kid. Bea’s fifteen and a dead knockout. She got both our looks and your brains. Any knob’d be fucking lucky to have her.”

“Yeah, okay,” you replay. “He’s still going to be here in five minutes. And you’re going to be nice. She likes this boy, Jaim. So we’re going to be supporting and fucking grateful that she’s not sneaking around, got it?”

“Fuck’s sake,” Jamie grumbles. “This is what I get for being a prick as a kid. Bet you and Keeley think this is fuckin’ hilarious.”

The doorbell saves you from replying. Bea yells, “I’ve got it!” as she thunders down the stairs.

She appears a moment later with a boy dressed in the same school uniform as her. 

“This is Isaiah,” she says. Isaiah snorts and looks away, so you put a hand on Jamie’s arm to stop him from doing anything.

“It’s nice to meet you, Isaiah. Can we get you anything? Water, a snack?”

He shrugs and says “Nah.”

There’s an awkward pause before Bea says, “Right! We’ll just be in the living room.”

They leave and Jamie turns to you. “I don’t like that kid,” he whispers. You don’t either, but you’re not going to tell him just yet. You’ll give the kid a chance because you have a weird soft spot for absolute assholes.

You squint at him for a moment then say, “You know, if we’re quiet, we can listen in.”

Jamie grabs your head with both hands and kisses you. “This. This is why I married you. Fucking brilliant.” You smile and pat his cheek.

Their voices float in the kitchen and you can’t quite catch what Bea’s saying, but it’s definitely a question. Isaiah’s response is… not exactly kind.

Jamie mouths, the fuck? and you frown. He has a look in his eyes that you haven’t seen since the days he used to brawl with Roy. You’re considering a brawl of your own.

Give him a minute, you mouth back.

You half-heartedly continue chopping while straining to hear as much as you can. It’s not good. He’s not being explicitly mean, but he sure as shit isn’t kind.

You and Jamie are so intent on trying to listen that you don’t hear Theo come in the room. “What are you doing?”

The two of you jump and swear. “Jesus feck, kid, don’t sneak up on your mum like that.”

“You’re the one who jumped the highest dad,” Theo points out. “Mum, can I have a snack?”

You say, “Sure,” and absentmindedly point to the fridge.

“Fuckin hell, did Bea eat the last of the cake?”

“Fucking hell,” echoes your youngest, Georgie. She’s seven, and like Theo’s shadow.

“Don’t say ‘fuck,’” you and admonish in unison.

“Can you be fucking quiet??” Bea whisper-growls from the doorway. “We’re trying to study.”

The four of you make your apologies as she leaves.

—

Two hours later, Isaiah’s left and Bea’s on the phone with her best mate. You can hear her saying something in a favourable tone.

“Why the fuck did you let that little prick into our house?” Jamie seethes. “Fucking tosser. He’s not good enough for her, and I don’t give a shit what you have to say about it.”

You shoot him a Look and he apologizes. “Sorry babe, it ain’t about you. I do care what you have to say. Just- I fucking hated that prick.”

“Give her a week,” you say. “If you tell her never to speak to him again, she’ll do the exact opposite, yeah?”

“Yeah, alright,” he grumbles.

—

It’s formal season. Bea’s sixteen and over the moon, talking about the boy who asked her out. 

“He’ll be here any minute. Dad, you’re still driving us, yeah?”

Jamie smiles and wipes lipstick out of the corner of her mouth. “Whatever you want, love.”

Bea smiles back and fiddles with her necklace. “I hope he likes this dress,” she frets.

Jamie grabs her hand. “Oi, any kid would be fucking lucky to be in the same room as you, let alone at a formal. Isaiah better fucking behave.”

“Don’t say fuck,” Bea says automatically, then she frowns. “I’m not going with Isaiah.”

Jamie’s face twists into confusion. “Why the fuck not?”

“He’s a prick,” Theo calls from the next room, followed by, “Ow, mum, my ear!”

“He is a prick,” Bea says.

“I’m a prick,” Jamie points out.

Bea scrunches her nose. “You were a prick, Dad, like, three decades ago when you were my age. Now you’re just an old softie.”

Jamie shakes his head. “Don’t know how old you think I am, love, but you’ve got your maths all wrong.”

There doorbell rings and you call, “I’ve got it!” as Bea panics with a last-minute hair adjustment.

“Oi,” Jamie says gently, “you look beautiful, love. Just like your mum. Glad you dumped that prick.”

Bea shrugs. “I had to, dad. Couldn’t be with him when I have a dad like you.”

Bea’s date, Thomas, walks into the room all smiles. He shakes Jamie hand then shyly slides a corsage onto her wrist. He is a far cry from who Jamie was at that age. This kid doesn’t seem so sure of himself, like he’s trying very, very hard not to mess things up. He and Bea whisper about something as you sidle up to Jamie.

“We did good with that one,” you whisper in his ear. He smiles. Thank god she doesn’t have her mum’s taste in men.