#this is not a great train of thought to go down esp right now

[ashesandhackles]

HP Reread - Order of Phoenix (Part 2)

Chapter 13,14

"Ron was now so low in his seat that his nose was on his knees". when Hermione confronts Fred and George about them testing sweets on first years. Also, living with Weasleys made Hermione realise what is a below the belt threat for Fred and George: write to Molly. XD (also the reason Ron is reluctant to go against Fred and George, something he was willing to do last year in GOF with the whole blackmail scheme, is due to reminders of Percy as Ron now holds the Prefect badge.)

love that both Hermione and Ron had opportunities to not read the room XD Ron getting on Cho's case about being a Tornadoes supporter when its clear she wanted to talk to Harry, and Hermione with Luna after she expresses her support to Harry. And Hermione being like "No REGRATS" after Harry is all, "Do you mind not offending the only people who believe me?" XD

"And it looks like it's going to rain" "what's that got to do with homework?" "Nothing" Ron is training for Quidditch secretly <3 I like that his arc is trying to define himself on his own terms (esp after the falling out with Harry in GOF which was because he felt overshadowed) - and the fact he takes initiative to practise for Quidditch, to be on team, is a step in that direction.

Harry enters Umbridge's office, and immediately takes the scene as a battle of wills. An adult being horrendous/violent is not a surprise to him, so what counts as "winning" for him in this situation is to not show he is in pain, or to check the time for when he would be allowed to go, or ask or to even complain to Ron and Hermione about it. There is also a lot of shame surrounding abuse, and ideas of weakness in admitting something like that happened to you.

Ron and Harry having a moment - where Ron reveals he wants to try for Keeper, and Harry tells him about Umbridge. It is incredible that Ron, a peer, got Harry to open up about something that has shame surrounding it. Speaks to how safe Ron makes Harry feel.

Both Hermione and Ron egging him to go to Dumbledore at different time: it's clear these two co-parents have discussed him. Also Harry discussing Umbridge with Hermione is operating under the assumption that Ron told her - and he would be right. Trio dynamics <3

Harry refuses to "trouble" Dumbledore because he feels abandoned by him, so he thinks he would write to Sirius instead: his safe space. <3

Hermione inviting him to knit hats with her. She is so happy that she can make all sorts of patterns now.

"She's nearly as nice as your mum": the way Harry understands this about Sirius, and the way Sirius also immediately understands what Harry is saying about Umbridge enough to come to the fire later. <3 also "Please write back quickly":(

I really, really love how Harry and Cho is written right down to the time we get to scenes with second hand embarrassment. Harry's crush on her is so endearing, and I like that he is comforted that Cho did not hate him for being alive when Cedric is dead (it's a casual throwaway line to Harry's own survivor's guilt)

"he got off on a mere technicality""many people I have spoken to remained convinced of his guilt" - the way Percy needs to double down and convince himself that he is on the right track.

"Nearly everyone in the wizarding world thought Sirius a dangerous murderer and a great Voldemort supporter, and he had to live with that knowledge for 14 years" the way this book emphasises how much Harry deeply understands Sirius. And also, now Sirius isnt cleared before his death hits hard.

Sirius' association of Hermione's worry for him as her sounding like Molly shows that he understands that Molly comes from a place of concern too. Also best evidence of their dynamic is not as prickly as it is made out to be.

Love the implication that Remus is just cussing Umbridge out in presence of Sirius. The comfort Remus feels speaks volumes.

"the world isnt split into good people and Death Eaters": an important quote, and given where Sirius comes from, a good insight into how he thinks.

Hermione looked upset when Sirius makes a joke about Kreacher, and this is because Sirius was the only adult to truly back her about Winky. Sirius knows she is right, just like he knows Dumbledore is right, Hermione invoking Dumbledore's name (like Molly did in the beginning) to get him to listen - he interrupts and changes the subject, because of how bitter he feels with regard to Dumbledore (just like Harry) + how isolated he is in a childhood home.

Sirius has personal bitter feelings about Dumbledore, but his eyes are clear with regard to the Order and what Dumbledore wants there: he warns the trio to not draw attention to the fact that Hagrid isnt there.

@artemisiablack masculinity meta covered 'less like your dad' moment in depth. My addition is - I am interested in Harry's complete understanding of this - not once does he become mad at this. Since he spends the entire book lashing out, isolated, disbelieved, he has a unique understanding of Sirius' position and is unusually forgiving of him. Remus tries the "what your father would have done/ wanted" route in DH, and Harry has far less understanding of it there because he is projecting himself onto Teddy's position.

Chapter 15, 16

I love the newspaper article about Hogwarts High Inquisitor. It is quite clearly a govt puff piece with support of a quote of a corrupt parent, Lucius Malfoy. The only dissent in the article comes at the end by Griselda Marchbanks and Tiberius Odgen, and Marchbank's quote of critique is something the prophet tries to diminish by having an article on her links with "subversive goblin groups" on page 17.

Lmao at Hermione looking sideways to see Harry's grade on his moonstone essay and when she gets neither Harry nor Ron's essay grades, she tries to engage them in a conversation about OWL grades. Until finally, Ron cracks and says, "If you want to know what grades we got, ask" and she is all,"I dont- I didnt mean - Well if you want to tell me". Such a poor liar LOL.

Ok I adore this detail of Fred and George naming the grades for them, and Ron raises his hand in mock celebration when they say "P is for poor" XD such a teenage boy thing.

Hermione retreated last time and came back with a new strategy. She came back to Umbridge's class reading the whole book. XD Umbridge tries to whisper to her, but Hermione speaks in clear, carrying voice so the rest of the class can overhear. Hermione rattles her enough that Umbridge forgets to whisper and then docks off points when she realises that Hermione outmaneuvered her. And then, Harry gets involved, to Hermione's distress.

"Yeah, Quirrel was a great teacher. There was a minor drawback of Lord Voldemort sticking out the back of his head" LOL

"Dean Thomas, if you do that to the mouse again, I shall put you in detention": Dean whatttt

Harry loses his temper with Umbridge in Care of magical Creatures again, and both Ron and Hermione groan. Poor kids. This is a hard year for them.

Harry comes back with a very severe bleeding hand and he is relieved that Hermione is being sympathetic instead of critical (like she was at breakfast when McGonagall took points off).

"Harry saw with an ominous feeling that her face was alight with fervour SPEW usually inspired in her" this is so endearing.

I love the tiny shade of coolness in Hermione when she mentions that Harry beat her in DADA when they had a competent teacher. It bothers her gifted child-ness a bit, but she is okay because it was done in a fair setting.

How much do you want to bet Ron and Hermione discussed the idea of Harry being a teacher and kind of laid a conversation trap.

also, Harry having his survivor guilt induced rant about how much it could have just been him who died instead of Cedric: it reminds me of the conversation in Deathly Hallows where Harry tells Ron: "Stuff like that always sounds cooler than it really was. I've been trying to tell you that for years."

Hermione says Voldemort for the first time, and that calms Harry down. It tells him that she is taking what he said seriously.

love that Hermione waited two whole weeks to broach the topic with Harry again. And also introduced the idea of this being an idea for a larger group of people. She believes there is a larger group of people who would be interested in what Harry has to say and that it isn't fair to deprive of them of a chance to learn - and it feels like either she has been in conversation with these people and has been gauging the mood.

and she names Ron as part of her initial idea, and Ron looks at her all alarmed . here is the confirmation that the conversation they had was rehearsed. Ron joins the conversation and backs Hermione once he is sure Harry is receptive to the idea.

the barman looked "tall and thin" and "vaguely familiar" to Harry. Aberforth :D

the man in dirty grey bandages is the one who informs Umbridge about the meeting: he is referenced earlier in the book as the dude who blows up toilets XD

"A couple of people?" but this is a good demonstration of scale of Hermione's ideas and also her awareness that this would be something Umbridge would disprove of.

first meeting of Fred and Aberforth. Later in DH, he will talk of him with familiarity: "Aberforth is getting ratty.."

love that Hermione's initial go to was to use Harry's reputation to give her idea credibility and Harry disproves that line of speech with a ":sharp look" but her voice grows bolder and has more conviction when she talks about what Umbridge teaches them is rubbish. It's a nice moment of Hermione taking on a leadership role.

Zacharias Smith's interruption rattles the trio, and both Ron and Hermione try to redirect the conversation away from Harry. But Harry intervenes in this case.

While Hermione gets nervous again, Susan Bones interrupts and bolsters the conversation in Harry's favour. ("is it true you can produce a Patronus?") also, love the detail that Molly asked Ron not to spread it around XD

also twins leap to Harry's defense when Zacharias is rude again. XD i really love that the twins are so protective about him.

Ginny intervening in Hermione and Luna's spat with a "hem hem". Love that Weasley family has a set of people who can imitate people very well. Ron does it in DH too - he imitates Pettigrew XD

the cute detail of Cho fastening her catch in hopes of staying back, but Marietta was being too impatient, so she had to leave. Such a teenage move.

ok, I know OOTP is a bit of transient phase for Romione: but I love the body language detail of Hermione turning around and trodding on Ron's feet in a shop. It speaks to how close they are standing - and it feels like a test of boundaries (we see this later with Ron gifting Hermione perfume).

OOTP - Chapter 17, 18

the beech tree the trio sits near the lake is a regular, they sit here again post-Grawp chapters (and it is the same tree Marauders are sitting under in SWM chapter).

love that Ron thinks Hermione projects her virtues onto everyone else (which she does in some ways!), but Hermione clarifies that no one can tell Umbridge because she jinxed the parchment. Ruthless lol.

Harry is so worried about Hedwig that he nearly forgets that she had a letter for him:( also the tenderness in the Harry-Hedwig here: and how annoyed she is with him for letting Grubby-Plank take her, and how that makes Harry feel.

Snape's reaction to Umbridge when she mentions DADA post, obviously sore subject for him, because he believes Dumbledore would not hand him that position out of lack of trust. In HBP, he mentions that he believes Dumbledore believes it will cause a relapse in his old ways - but in HBP, the year Dumbledore gives Snape the task to kill him, he is effectively also handing over his complete trust by giving him that post. (ofc, the job is jinxed, so there are reasons why Dumbledore didnt do it before- but I am looking at this in terms of an emotional dynamic between the two. It also adds an interesting layer to Dumbledore, someone who would refuse all sorts of temptation due to his own youth and how he projects those fears onto Snape)

Crookshanks coming close to the fire to put his face close to Sirius <3 Hermione has to pull him back to stop him from singeing his whiskers.

Hermione takes Sirius' advice about Three Broomsticks being a place that would be harder to overhear- her meeting with Rita and Luna later in the story takes place in Three broomsticks. Despite her reservations about Sirius' judgement at this point in the story, it's an interesting look into how her mind works.

What is the Mundungus-Aberforth backstory? He was apparently banned from Hog's Head 20 years ago. Is it the same tight spot Dumbledore bailed him out of?

Molly's perceptiveness about Harry's relationship with Sirius comes into play in her message that she asks Sirius to pass on. In the beginning of the book, she challenges Sirius' guardianship ("who else has he got?"), and here she has retreated to "though she accepts she has no authority over either of them and begs them..".

Love that Sirius tells Ron to tell Molly that he has passed it all on, "because I don't think she trusts me to." Sirius wants her approval.

Ofc Hermione suspecting this to be the case is one more reason the book is Hermione vs Umbridge. I also think, and this chapter demonstrates, with Hermione being the one with DA plan, creating failsafes, asking to think up a name, she functions as the leader-behind-the scenes.

Also Hedwig sitting on Dobby's topmost bobble is the cutest image.

Hermione bringing up the fact that Dobby's plans aren't always safe - with regard to room of requirement. I wonder if she was doubling back on the DA after the initial Sirius enthusiasm, and the enormity of what they are doing scared her for a moment. Or it was a need to double check.

ooh, Ginny had come in with Dean and other Gryffindors. Given that Ginny dates Dean in the next book, it is a significant point to her social circle.

"That's a majority - motion passed": Hermione XD

Harry being so cute that he decides not to point out that Neville's first attempt at Disarming when Harry is facing away from him does not actually count XD

Lmao @ twins going after Zacharias Smith. They are clearly very annoyed at him making jibes at Harry (as they displayed last time at Hog's Head).

Ok, Dean's enthusiasm is really <3 I forget that Dean's respect for Harry is what drives Dean's moment in DH, where he puts weight behind Harry being the Chosen one in the conversation. This, combined with how excited Neville was about disarming Harry, shows how the Gryffindor boys view him.

Chapter 19, 20

Queen Parvati has produced such a good reductor curse that she reduces an entire table full of sneakscopes to dust.

Hermione "trying to look modest" when Terry Boot is all admiration that she can do a NEWT level charm. LOL.

Loved the conversation between Harry and Hermione: he tells her it reminds him of the Dark mark, and she admits that is where she got the idea from. It is something she got out of Harry's retelling of the most traumatic night of his life, and I like that she stores details like this and treats information as information.

"Hey Potty I hear Warrington's sworn to knock you off your broom on Saturday" "Warrington's aim is so pathetic I'd be more worried if he was aiming for the person next to me": XD

Hermione kisses Ron on the cheek when he looks lost and miserable, and it is like the kiss brings him back to himself <3 he touches the spot slightly. (also she has to stand on tiptoe to do it. Ron is tall)

Angelina does not wince when Montague tries to crush her fingers. Go Angelina!

Lee trying to drown out the words of the terrible "Weasley is our King" song by shouting his commentary. Lee Jordan is King!

Draco actually wrote the lyrics for Weasley is our king, and Pansy was conducting it from the stands lol. Says a lot about the character dynamics here.

Harry holding George back, while the combined efforts of Angelina, Katie and Alicia are needed to stop Fred leaping on Malfoy XD and then of course Harry releases George when Draco insults his mum.

Hogwarts really doesn't care about verbal bullying. An entire song to wind up the Gryffindor Keeper? Okay. Muggle duelling after extended provocation? Oh good lord not.

Hagrid is back and so begins hints of my least favourite plotline: Grawp.

Chapter 20, 21, 22

Hermione wearing her own knobbly elf hats. So cute. I love how it is a little thing she takes pride in.

Ron being his caretaking self and really pressing about how Hagrid has been attacked. XD

Hagrid irritably calling them nosy and interfering and then his beard twitches and Harry grins. Harry bargains his Dementor story for Hagrid's tale.

Trolls on Polish border and a disagreement with vampire in Minsk? Gimme this bar tale!

love how much the everlasting fire imagery comes with Dumbledore: he offers the giants (via Hagrid) : everlasting fire. (there is Fawkes, and there is the inferno he uses against the Inferi)

Maxime being super impressive by both roughing it (Hagrid being all "she is such a well dressed woman but..") and also saving Hagrid from giants by being fast with her wand.

Okay, Hagrid going misty-eyed at memories of Maxime being fiery at the thought of attacking Death Eaters, and Harry allowing him 30 secs of reminiscences before clearing his throat, lol.

Hermione asking about Hagrid's mother and being scared of broaching the topic, and Ron covering for her<3

Thestrals first make an appearance through gnarled yew trees - to emphasise their connection with death. Nott, Harry and Neville are the only ones who can see them.

Neville being upset that his answer might have made things worse for hagrid, but truthfully, this entire segment is an exercise of Umbridge enjoying wielding her power.

Ron being greatly amused by Hermione's skiing holiday, and Harry being envious that Ron would go to Burrow until Ron tells him he is invited. And Harry feels guilty at the thought of Sirius being alone at Grimmauld Place for Christmas, and considers persuading Mrs Weasley to invite him. :(

Angelina sending Harry burning reproachful looks cos she had to recreate the Gryffindor team. XD Also, Ginny is on team as Seeker!

The tension building between Harry and Cho: how he resists the urge to walk past her several time after she beams at him, and how he hangs back hoping to get a Merry Christmas from her.

Cho is dealing with so many confused feelings in this scene: the what if about Cedric, and seeing Harry react heavily to his mention, she feels upset that she burdened him with her feelings, she says, "I know it must be horrible for you… me mentioning Cedric, when you saw him die. I suppose you want to forget about it?" and when Harry doesnt answer, she expresses her admiration and attraction.

the other half of him wanted to take it to the grave, Imao, Harry so dramatic.

"oh, are you that bad at kissing?" "dunno. maybe I am." "of course you arent." "how do you know?" LOL. The trio in this scene.

"emotional range of a teaspoon" - its a funny line, but it also conveys Hermione's feelings for Ron and how much she wants to disavow them at the moment, because he is "the most insensitive wart she had the misfortune to meet". XD The scene is also set around Hermione writing an essay to Krum.

Harry agreeing mindlessly to Ron's "he's a grouchy git, isn't he?" "bit grouchy, yeah." Also LOL at role reversal. Hermione was the one who said that Krum looks grumpy, and Ron was like, "who cares what he looks like" lol.

Harry wishing Sirius's head appears in the fire so he can ask for advice on girls XD

Harry's ridiculous dream before the nightmare conveys feelings of competition that he feels with regard to Cho's feelings for Cedric , and there is also a sense that he wants to give back to Dobby because he came to the room to set up Christmas baubles with Dobby's head.

Mrs Norris spots them on the way to Dumbledore's office (McGonagall shoos her), but the cat informs Filch, Filch informs Umbridge.

I love the implication here that Dumbledore is conducting a meeting with portraits (many of whom are in important wizarding institutions in the country, which means he gets information from everywhere). The discussion falls silent and portraits pretend to sleep as soon as there is a knock on the door.

"but in essence divided?" + the imagery of two serpents coiling and undulating in air. This is a reference to Voldemort's torn soul in Harry, but also the twin imagery between Harry and Voldemort is strong here.

also the comical whimsy of the portraits is there throughout the scene - them pretending to sleep but raising their eyelids enough to watch Harry, them yelling at Phineas to wake up, and finally, the witch with a wand that looked like a birch rod XD

love that Harry as a protector is embedded in Ginny's mind. She asks him directly what is going on, instead of the adults in the room. Harry reinforces this association by stepping directly in front of her in the climax chapters when Bellatrix threatens her.

ah the implication of Sirius being in his day clothes, and the whiff of a stale drink about him :(

Ron gives Harry a fleeting look(but does not challenge it) when Harry changes the story to as if he is watching the vision from sidelines, later on in the same chapter, he admits to seeing it through snake's eyes for Sirius and also admits to wanting to attack Dumbledore. Sirius gets the detail that Harry wanted to attack Dumbledore first.

Oh Sirius. :( It's such struggle for him to remain calm in a scene when Fred, understandably upset, hits at something below the belt. Sirius, who is a man of action, who ties his worth to doing hates being in this position. But once they sit down, he tries hard to be a host - giving them Butterbeer, suggesting they go to bed…

Ginny being curled like a cat and her eyes reflecting the firelight is such a sensual image.

"Harry and Sirius looked at each other often, intruders upon family grief… waiting… waiting". Again, the emphasis on how Harry views Sirius.

Sirius cooking for the Weasleys, Sirius saying "the more the merrier" and Molly beaming at him, and them cooking together <3

"well, he doesn't tell me anything any more" - not only does Harry confess the details of the vision, he also allows himself to tack on this resentful sentence of Dumbledore keeping him in the dark.

This is a bit of a moment for Sirius where he wants to assure Harry things are alright before admitting that the vision is worrying him - its one of the few moments in the series that Sirius is not entirely honest with Harry. So he goes to Dumbledore about this next to figure out wtf is going on - which is what arranges the Occlumency lessons.

LOL, the entrance to St. Mungos is a bit creepy, with dummy beckoning you closer with its jointed finger for entering.

Dilys (the headmistress) counting the Weasleys as though to report to Dumbledore who is visiting.

An old man with a hearing trumpet is here to see Broderick Bode.

Mrs Weasley panicking there is a werewolf in public ward, and Mr. Weasley assuring the man that Remus finds his condition easy to manage. Remus really never lets it show, unless he is bitching about Umbridge to Sirius. XD

Poor harry spends the entire chapter thinking that Weasleys had something "accusatory" in how they looked at him (a reflection of his own feelings of guilt), and he keeps being proven wrong: Molly hugs him and thanks him for saving Arthur's life, and Fred and George offer him extendable ears saying Harry has the right to listen in on their father. It makes the end of the chapter, where they are most likely worried about him and scared for him, all the more sad because Harry is going to think they are afraid of him

Chapter 23, 24

Harry's paranoia driving him to a point where he thinks he needs to go to privet Drive to keep other people safe.

Like Sirius, as angry as Harry gets at Dumbledore, he instantly obeys his instruction. And again like Sirius in his depressive episode, Harry also retreats to the room with Buckbeak, and refuses to eat.

hermione asking Harry not to tell Ron that skiing is not really her thing cos he kept laughing too much XD

Hermione and Ginny tag-teaming Harry out of his mood, leading to the "I forgot" "Lucky you" moment. And Ginny gives Harry the knowledge that gives him immediate comfort. Ron joins at the tail end of the conversation, where he senses Harry has started calming down. (He had previously looked down in response to Harry's angry glare)

Sirius singing "God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs" and his delight at having the house full, "especially at having Harry back":(

Sirius and Remus sending presents that shows both of their tacitly approving DA. Lovely shade to Remus' characterisation. Also how sweet of Tonks to send in a small model of the Firebolt.

Remus comforting Molly about Percy and the implication later that Sirius and Molly are cooking together again - Molly "sounding like she had a bad head cold" and Sirius bringing in turkey.

"The perfume is really unusual Ron" - Ron spotting that Hermione is indeed, a girl. What an awkwardly cute romantic-but-is-it gesture.

Kreacher's den - that is the boiler room where he sleeps - really makes me side-eye the stupid house elf plot that says Walburga and Regulus were "kind" to Kreacher. Sure Jan.

Christmas is the time where there is an uptick of patients who have come in cos of a family argument XD

Remus going to the forlon werewolf in the ward. :(

the Healer who ran after Ron through six portraits to offer remedy for spattergroit XD this will come in handy in Deathly Hallows.

Hermione sounding "slightly breathless" at the sight of Lockhart. Her crush remains XD

Neville saving the wrapper he got from his mum.

Harry being suspicious of Kreacher's behavior is why he is the lead detective of a mystery novel character. XD

Sirius is that character whose presence is just so powerful that his mood infects everyone: whether he is cheerful during the beginning of the holiday, or when he is depressed near the end of the holiday ("oozing under doorways like noxious gas"). Intense boy.

Harry egging on his castle which was tussling with Ron's pawn, lmaoo. "Squash him, squash him, he is only a pawn you idiot." I will say that the "Lucky you" scene and further on put Ginny among the trio. She is sitting with Hermione and Crookshanks, watching Harry and Ron play chess.

Snape and Sirius scene: this is an incredibly fun scene with two characters who are quite a match for each other's verbal sparring, and it also lays out their priorities. Sirius' priority is Harry, and he undercuts the power Snape is trying to establish in the scene by claiming ownership of both the house ("it's my house, you see") and Harry (I'm his godfather"). Snape's priority is Dumbledore's orders + the Order (and he rubs the fact that he is doing an important role to hit undercut Sirius' power in return).

The history between these two also muddies the scene with other complicated things. The moment Sirius stands up to emphasise that Harry shouldnt be bullied, Snape's, ever the hypervigilant against his former bullies, goes to his wand in his pocket. (we see a version of this in SWM, where James calls to him, and "Snape reacted as though he was expecting an attack").

They both throw emasculating insults at each other: Snape goads him about hiding in his mother's house, while Sirius calls him Lucius' lapdog. So essentially, what these two men are saying in the scene is - Sirius: "Stop tormenting Harry" and Snape is saying (especially with the jab about how Lucius knew it was Sirius): "You are putting the Order at risk". Poor Harry stuck at forcing these two grown men apart, standing immobile between them, hand outstretched. XD

Sirius forcing himself to be cheerful around people, and Harry noticing his face fell back into a brooding expression when the focus isnt on him:(

Ugh, Harry just not wanting to leave Sirius behind and the way his chest is constricting at thought of parting. And Sirius giving him a way to contact him, and then giving him a one armed hug. These two loved each other so much:(

The adults fell silent when Harry came in for breakfast, and Tonks was nervous about staying too long in the square (she even threatens Stan for simply saying Harry's name loudly). I wonder what is happening here? Are they being watched/followed? I would have loved to know more behind the scenes Order stuff. Interesting how Tonks takes the lead in this two man job, and how she splits them up, tips Stan to move them along etc etc. More glimpses of her Auror! self.

Harry saying Voldemort's name unnerves Snape, and he almost rubs the arm where his mark is. It shows that Snape is indeed, scared of Voldemort. (also Harry asking the right questions - "why can I see from snake's mind if its Voldemort's thought I am sharing?" smart cookie. It's because Nagini is a Horcrux.)

"well for the first attempt that was not as poor as it could have been" is Snape almost unwillingly complimenting Harry lol, and then he offers feedback in his typical bad teacher way: "remain focused, you wasted too much time and energy shouting. You are handing me memories you fear"

After Harry sees his mother and father in mirror, and Cedric's death once again: Snape looks "paler than usual, and angrier". I dont think he expected to encounter Lily again.

"fools who wear their heart proudly on their sleeves, who cannot control their emotions, who wallow in sad memories and allow themselves to be provoked easily - weak people in other words - stand no chance against his powers". Snape is talking about himself, especially teenage Snape who joined the Death Eaters. We see a glimpse of teenage Snape later on, lying on grass and throwing swear words at James even without his wand, throwing a slur at his best friend because he is humiliated - "easily provoked, who cannot control his emotions". This is such an interesting chapter because Snape is talking about himself and there is recognition of who Harry is, away from his projection of "James' son". Snape's lip curl when asking about Ripper the dog, and Harry thinks Snape is mocking him (but interestingly, he never uses it to mock Harry - now or in the future, because it disturbs his James projection on him), but these words show that Snape is recognising himself in him. He hates it and will disassociate from the realisation until near the end of the series. Which gives weight to the "look at me" moment. He is asking Harry to really see him, and asking to be seen in return ("look at me")

Harry asking whats in the department of mysteries, unnerving Snape. Because it holds the prophecy Snape had overheard, but it also tells Snape that this is something that is haunting Harry for months (as he will later tell Dumbledore). Harry and Snape stepping on emotional landmines around each other - it makes for very interesting scenes, but good god, this is such a bad idea.

Hermione looking at Fred and george's Invisibility Hats and puzzling out how they work, and compliments how cleverly they used the charm.

Hermione asking Ron to check up on Harry since he looked ill all evening. <3 these two co-parents.

[1eos]

hi miss kendra, i need some advice if you don't mind. your new job journey has inspired me to quit the fuckass job i'm sick of but the audhd hates to think of change, and i don't know if i should just go for a masters instead to jump up a level in the job market. or, would you suggest joining the girls in stem with a python course? i hate to see my degree (business) go to waste and have been avoiding smth in software bc of that but if the jobs are good i might have to bc i can NOT stay here any longer w no progression money wise.

i dont mind at all <3 the main reason why i will never leave tumblr is that if you curate it right this can really become a support group for audhd adults and we all help each other survive this sick ass world. bc wow that audhd response to change is sooooo hard to deal with in the workplace which sucks bc in this current climate changing jobs frequently kinda is the wave rn

but anyways advice. obvs i can't know exactly what's best for you but i will throw some questions that helped me figure out where to narrow my focus!

1st. to answer the question is i would suggest joining the girls in stem. absolutely! but don't limit your focus to a python course. the main reason i didnt get into stem earlier was that i didn't realize there were sooooo many different niches of stem and thought that just bc i didnt necessarily want to do 0s and 1s exclusively it wasn't for me but now taking different classes im seeing its a lot of different things i could excel in. like i went in doing web design and realized while i don't enjoy that the way i expected it introduced me to networking, cybersecurity, and data science which i AM interested in. so if you're interested but java gives you the ick (valid) def start poking around free resources first before committing. i investigated some reddit threads and found online it training things that i did and ofc there are a bunch of books too

currently ive subscribed to tryhackme. of all of the hands on training courses its one of the cheapest at $14 a month and its walking me through all the different areas of networking and cybersecurity and its been helpful in getting my feet wet so i can pinpoint what fields im genuinely interested in. currently, im focused on trying to find a field where im truly 100% interested in digging in bc for me ive found caring abt my field gives me excitement that takes the edge off of the ego death change puts me through 😭😭😭😭

i say all that first bc a masters will be a GREAT boon to level up your income esp if you want to work for any kind of university which i would recommend as a good starting place bc the benefits tend to be really good and colleges are relatively more chill workplaces. however, depending on which field you go in just know that a lot of jobs will take the official certifications and your bachelors. and certifications are way cheaper than masters degrees so keep that in mind. especially if you get a certification, get employed in the stem field and then you may have the chance of your employer helping pay for your masters

ofc if you can afford to get your masters now you could go the other direction and start school now and use your school's connections to get student work/part time work in your field and then your odds of being hired in a permanent position after graduating goes up by 300000000000%

and i would suggest sitting down and making a list of everything you hate about your current job and what, ideally, you want for not your dream job but like...the job that could bring you the most content you know? if you're not living to work, picture what you want to do and how your job can help facilitate that without getting in the way.

so like for me my goal is to be able to do the art i want to do without having to worry about starving to death and have as much time to focus on art. bc that's my goal i realized i wanted a job that:

in a stable field where i could potentially get a job anywhere

pays well and consistently

remote work possible

flexible schedule so that i could work less than 5 days a week

clear upward trajectory

not centered around customer service 😭

relatively low stress and doesnt need crazy hours

so with this listed out i realized i didn't actually want my main job to be in the art field bc of the inconsistency and that stem could work for me and then from there anytime i find a new job that i think i could do i investigate it and check to see if the field is shrinking, education requirements, etc etc.

this is a lot but i hope at least one of these thoughts helps you! 💖

[givereadersahug]

Fic Rec 💚 Matchablossom - 2023 Birthday Edition (SK8 the Infinity)

My birthday is next Thursday!!! 🥳🥳🥳 And what's better way to celebrate than talking about the stuff I enjoyed the past year?

First up, Matchablossom!

Kaoru and Kojiro and the whole gang was such a comfort in 2022. I can always count on SK8 to elevate my mood whenever I feel down, esp Matchablossom. 🍵 🌸

Here are some fics that I adored reading in 2022 -

Title: the elements of entropy

Author: ailurea

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Word Count: 11,606

Summary:

Kojiro's goal has always been to start his own restaurant, so he makes a plan to skip university and train with chefs all across the world. Kaoru refuses to let him go alone. (Alternatively: Kojiro and Kaoru—then, now, and forever.)

---

Title: the skateboarding chef who can't stop thinking about his best friend

Author: architecture_in_f1ll0ry

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Word Count: 4,217

Summary:

This week, a mostly-straight man has casual flings while navigating an intriguing relationship with his childhood friend: 26, single, Okinawa.  Inspired by the Sex Diaries series in The Cut.

---

Title: How Little We Know

Author: beelligerence

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Word Count: 13,902

Summary:

Kojiro sighs softly and smiles, mostly to himself, as Kaoru talks. He really doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life wondering ‘what if.’ And he doesn’t want to wait any longer, not when he’s already waited long enough. “Hey, Kaoru,” Kojiro says, interrupting Kaoru’s current train of thought. “What do you want, oaf?” Kaoru asks, irritated. “Will you go out on a date with me?” Kojiro has spent more than half of his life in love with Kaoru. He’s tired of waiting.

---

Title: Facade

Author: bitterheart

Rating: Teen

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Word Count: 11,964

Summary:

The first time Kojiro hears from Kaoru after the breakup is after six days of radio silence. He's using his clipped professional tone that he usually saves for work phone calls when he says, "I was reviewing our—my calendar, and I realised that we sent an RSVP to your family holiday next week." "Right." Kojiro turns the burner of the stove off and presses his phone a little harder against his ear. "I'll, uh. Give my parents a call." "You haven't told them yet, have you." It's not a question, and Kaoru isn't gentle about the way he says it. Kojiro loves him—used to love him for that sort of thing. Two weeks after breaking up, Kojiro and Kaoru attend a holiday with Kojiro's family and pretend they're still together.

---

Title: Misfire

Author: bitterheart

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Word Count: 10,404

Summary:

Kojiro pauses for a moment, carefully considering what he's about to do. He takes a breath, and sends: Show me how you'd sext. Kojiro accidentally sends Kaoru a sext meant for someone else. Things get a little out of hand.

---

Title: The Himbofication of Nanjo Kojiro

Author: crinklefries

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Word Count: 30,378

Summary:

The thing about emotional consequences is that they have all of the gut-punch, full body aching of a physical consequence. They are all-encompassing, overwhelming, terrible, and completely inescapable. In this case, Kojiro could have easily avoided the emotional consequences to his actions if he had just tried. But he hadn’t—because Nanjo Kojiro is nothing if not a complete fucking idiot. And it was no one’s fault but his own that he had agreed to hook up with his best friend. * * * Kaoru comes up with the great, great idea to become friends with benefits. Kojiro listens to him. Now why did you go and do that, Kojiro?

---

Title: rose and shining dew on every buttercup

Author: faintneko

Rating: General

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Word Count: 4,534

Summary:

Kaoru has a little shadow and Kojiro thinks it’s the most hilarious (sweetest) thing to ever happen.

---

Title: home is an anchor

Author: Marks

Rating: Teen

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Word Count: 12,968

Summary:

It had been a long time since Kaoru had properly appreciated Okinawa. Sometimes his clients would come from the mainland, or even overseas, and they always seemed so impressed by things that Kaoru always took for granted. It was like that fake story about frogs staying in gradually boiling water; maybe growing up around it meant that Kaoru could never see what was so great about it. Or maybe he just needed to take a step back and examine it from a new angle. Perspective was very important for calligraphy, after all, and it was giving him an idea. Kaoru is stressed out, so he decides to go on vacation, but stay local. Obviously, Kojiro comes along.

---

Title: it's always been you

Author: onlydaisy

Rating: Teen

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Word Count: 22,811

Summary:

Kaoru isn’t in love with Kojiro. He repeats this to himself each morning, when his phone lights up with a ‘good morning’ from Kojiro, an hour later when he shows up outside his door to walk to school and greets him with a tight hug, and then consistently throughout the rest of the day as Kojiro continues to make him suffer. Kaoru isn’t in love with him, he won’t let himself be.  Or- Five times Kojiro and Kaoru almost kiss, and one time they do.

---

Title: the heart is a mirror

Author: sepulcher

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Word Count: 9,880

Summary:

“Let’s get married,” Kojiro said. (It was the phenomenon of being so close to something that you lose the details, or knowing something so well and so confidently that you don’t bother to look twice.)

---

Title: tangled roots, steady waters

Author: wintersrose616

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Word Count: 7,357

Summary:

“If you behave,” Kaoru drawls, raising an eyebrow, “I will.” Kojiro’s lips part, an answer of some sort on the tip of his tongue, but before he can say anything, a familiar, metallic voice rings out through the studio. Your appointment is at 2:30, in half an hour. It’s time to leave.  Both Kaoru and Kojiro freeze before Kaoru sits up, any intention on continuing this path for the afternoon gone, replaced by a mask of smooth, but false, professionalism. “No—,” Kojiro starts, but Kaoru’s running a hand through his hair, smoothing out tangles as he ignores him. “Thank you, Carla,” he calls.  “Kaoru— ” . As pseudo dads of three rambunctious teenagers on top of their day jobs, they don't often get alone time. or, five times Joe and Cherry get interrupted, and one night they get to themselves.

Check out my other Matchablossom rec list.

[behaein]

hi, everyone! it’s just me (chaerin’s mun) back with a second muse! i wanted to bring in someone different, so unlike chaerin, haein’s a lot more spunkier and goofier! she’s got that firecracker energy, and she actually wants to be an idol as well. i have her profile page up, but anything else you need to know about her will be in this intro post. as always, please do like this post to plot or come bother me with all your thoughts and ideas!

before i begin, i’ll say that haein goes by both hailey and haein! it depends on whichever language you begin to speak with her. nevertheless, she doesn’t mind either one!

her background first: hailey haein oh was born in seattle, washington to an engineering professor and a chef! has an older and younger brother. all in all, let’s just say that hailey was the only one to not win the academic lottery! she was not as smart as her parents or older brother, and it became pretty evident that she’ll never be on their level! not to say that she got like d’s and f’s, but she wasn’t going to graduate in the top 5% yknow

her parents didn’t care too much though, and they continued to support her in trying to find something she’d like. has gone through gymnastics, was a cheerleader in junior high and high school (or at least as much as she attended), so she’s always been an active dancer! 

when she’s in high school, a casting manager from a npc company in korea picks her up and asks if she’ll like to audition. she does and they offer her a spot as a trainee. parents are glad she’s found something she can do and shift her off to korea! 

when she was training, she lived at a dorm with the other trainees, but her legal guardian was always her maternal aunt! a run-down of maternal aunt: always wanted to be a musician but her parents said no, so she became a pharmacist instead. however, she’s still super passionate about music so her and haein went along great

right before the group is supposed to debut, about three girls get cut from the lineup with one of them being haein. it’s kind of a shocker for her because she’s had a pretty easy life until then. plus, she moved all the way to korea, dropped out of high school (she found it difficult to juggle that and training together) and got her ged instead so like... what now? 

that all happened within the last three months, so now she’s been working as a part-timer at cgv, the movie theater, and she also does some english tutoring at the side. she thought about moving back to america, but her aunt convinces her to continue pursuing her dream!! dropped out of high school anyway so what’s she going to do back in america?

hailey agrees so here she is!! trying to debut somehow!! 

so timeline with years to break it down: 2002 (born) -> gets casted and moves to korea summer of 2020 -> trains until september 2022 where she gets cut from the debut lineup -> and then current day where she lives with her aunt and works part time jobs

personality: she’s super extroverted and goofy! simply just wants to live a good life, kind of lives the yolo lifestyle. up for being friends with anybody as long as they make her laugh. she sort of gets affected by the people around her and act the way they do when she’s around them! haein’s like slime, she can sort of melt into any situation and personality as long as it means getting along with those around her because she finds fun in socializing with people. you can catch her just sitting at cafes on her own, people watching because she thinks that’s interesting

possible plot ideas: people she tutors in english, those she meets at dance classes because she’s taking them to not forget how to move, those she meet at like a korean american community thing within korea, someone who likes seeing movies so they always see her at cgv and you share movie recs with one another, you can talk kpop with her because she loves her groups (esp girl groups) and anything else!! i’m open to everything, and haein’s a super flexible muse so!

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

y'know i scrolled past and commented on an article from the new york times last week or something, that was about the interest rate on american student loans skyrocketing to 6.5% this year. this wasn't a surprise to me, when my HECS etc debt for uni here in australia was indexed at 7.1% last year. and at 4.5% this year, because of cost of living pressures. so ,overall, my hecs went up 3k this year over my hecs/vet fee help from business college (2.5k) and my student start up loan (ie centrelink/social services study money for textbooks each sem which i half saved and half spent each sem) went up $450 basically. and last year they went up $645 (ssl) and nearly 4k (hecs etc) in 2023. overall i owe 67k now i think.

anyway. my real gripe with the comments on this article, when it was re-posted for more engagement, was the common complaint that "why doesn't everyone just do trades??? STOP wasting your time doing useless degrees in fairytale land like english and film/media and acting and even business/marketing etc..... and do the REAL work of trades!!!" and "why does everyone forget about TRADE SCHOOL???" stop being afraid of getting your hands dirty and GET IN THERE and do trades!!! who NEEDS a sociology or entrepreneurship major anyway???" etc etc. like yes. i understand there's a shortage of trained/skilled trade workers in the US (and also in australia). and i also understand that colleges/universities globally are graduating WAY TOO MANY grads to fill grad job openings in their desired fields. but that does not mean everyone should do trades.

well. the problem is, trades aren't a be all and end all solution, OR great for everyone. i personally KNOW i am NOT suited for trades and other heavy work. for example, the trades classes that i was forced to do in years 7 and 8 in 2008/2009, bc they were fucking compulsory (and shouldn't've been imo) for 2 years, i failed ON PURPOSE. bc i saw no point in constantly being berated for my work. i saw no point in learning to build my own money box in woodwork, my own chimes (that i turned into crowbars bc i didnt have the stamina to cut the metal by hand or whatever) in metal work. or the remote control car that i burnt my leg with a hot glue gun for, bc i REFUSED to listen to OHS/WHS (ie the safety rules) bc i thought that listening to and following safety rules in the tech rooms "wasn't PUNK and HARDCORE" or whatever dumb shit i said at the time, lmao.

when it came time to do year 11/12, i did pick a tafe (aussie technical college) class in entertainment industry, for the sake of getting rid of maths on my class schedule lmao. this had a trade component of miniature set building and prop-making. which, although ultimately the tafe either threw my project out, bc i kept joking that it belonged in the trash bc i sucked at building things...... or i took it home and threw it out.... or it was just lost.... i kind of enjoyed. mostly bc it was specifically geared to the arts industry. i had learnt from my mistakes with glue guns in plastics shop and not listening to safety rules.... when me being sued by *insert one of my fave for 5eva mid2000s emo band guys here* hung in the balance bc of some faulty light rigging falling down mid show or w/e, that they actually mattered lmao. (not real btw. just an example. although i swear something like this happened to justin beiber in 2013).... aside from the prop-making etc, it was also lighting and sound.

but still. if i'd followed this trade through.... and years after when the pandemic happened 4 score years ago..... where would have my skills gone??? where would my JOB go??? do y'all NOT remember that whole industries... and MOST esp the entertainment industry, was nearly entirely decimated for a year and a bit bc of covid??? i would have HAD to retrain in something, anyway. and that something would've been an arts or creative arts degree tbh.

it also doesn't help, that right now, one of my old colleagues from my shitty cadetship workplace, that i use as a referee on my job applications, keeps trying to get me to study fashion (like. ashwin. where the FUCK are the stable jobs in fashion???) all bc i like DRESSING WELL, which has nothing to do with making my own clothes, imo. i have never had an interest, really, in sewing (mostly destroyed by my year 6 teacher at catholic school in 2007 who told me "you'll never be a real christian woman if you CAN'T SEW!" during a class cross-stitching project of a penguin).... but i can very obvs APPRECIATE all the fibre arts for what they are. i can also appreciate and admire the work that goes into costuming on game of thrones, or bridgerton, or LOTR, or even shakespearen stage productions or WICKED, for example.

but the trade of making clothes has never been my interest or passion. just because i enjoy dressing well, that does NOT mean i want to make clothes for a living. or let alone, probs work in retail for the rest of my life. i have never truly enjoyed trades and exerting physical effort to make stuff. i do not have the strength or fine motor skills for many trades, like being an electrician or refrigeration/air conditioning installer (which funnily enough shared the building with my tafe class in entertainment in 2012/2013). i don't have the fine motor skills for sewing (which is what my shitty year 6 teacher was telling me off for earlier) or other needlepoint arts.

i HATE woodworking and metalworking myself, due to the negative experiences i had in school with them. audio and sound design and tech jobs i can appreciate, but i couldn't picture myself doing really at the end of high school... bc i learnt in my 2 week work placement at a local guitar shop..... that carrying 2 electric guitars at the same time tipped me forwards. i also couldn't lift them over my head to hang them on the walls after cleaning them. so, that then meant i couldnt work for idk, BMTH or ATL or paramore as a stagehand. i hated tying knots and learning types of knots bc my fine motor skills are shitty in that regard too (i took like 4 years to learn how to tie my shoes in primary school). i also struggle to lift things over like 5kgs. and many things in an entertainment workplace are like 10kgs plus.

hell. i dont even like cooking. i probs purposely got my part of the year NOT to do cooking in years 7 and 8 bc i kept making jokes about how incredibly terrible my cooking skills were. that i'd probs burn down the entire tech block, and the one PE demountable at catholic school, by merely trying to boil noodles or by making toast lmao. it's also why i never bothered doing hospitality/hospo in my hsc at public school, bc i would've burnt down the entire like D building lmao.... and i straight TOLD THAT to the careers counselor lol. even though i probs would've gone better with hospo in my schedule rather than biology bc they were on the same line. believe it or not. but i digress.

so where i am meant to go at trade school??? oh that's right. office jobs: so a certificate III in business. or a diploma in HR. or a diploma in legal admin. idek. but these sadly are the jobs that are overrun with uni grads in HR, business or law/legal studies students. so my cert 3 in *enter office field here* is also useless, unless it's part of a traineeship at a business. maybe digital media. hell, some of these fields were/are even done in tandem at my local uni WITH tafe (event management/tourism management, digital media) or at least they were back from 2013 to 2018. i havent looked since tbh.

just. trades arent for everyone. and it doesn't help that unis are actually taking many of the trade certificate sort of courses in artsy fields off of TAFE here in aus. like a cert III in legal admin would be equivalent to the first year of a legal studies degree (probs i have no idea tbh) in a uni arts department. unis took journalism certificates and diplomas away from tafe. instead you have to spend 40k on a communications and media degree majoring in journalism and professional writing and screen media. instead of like 10k on a diploma of journalism or diploma of digital media, that i looked at back in 2013.

there's special schools in sydney that specialise in entertainment industry courses. which if i'd HAD the money for that university (bc they were semi-private and REALLY WANTED people to pay up front) i would've done classes in costume design, audio design, entertainment business management (possibly majoring in the latter). which then cost far more than the tafe diploma of live theatre, production and events that i looked at continuing onto at the end of high school. (it's now called something different i think). besides the point i don't live in sydney. so, that's why i dropped any career aspirations in the entertainment industry tbh.

but yeah. trades arent a solver for the student debt crisis. many people aren't suited to them, like myself. and no. this is NOT me being a "lazy millennial" or whatever. i just personally know that trades have never been my interest or my talent. but i CAN appreciate them. much like people need to learn to appreciate the arts making their fave tv shows and movies.

[rowan-ashtree]

many thoughts head buzzing (yet empty)

[idontblushsrry]

Love Language|| Jujutsu Kaisen

“I wanna be fluent in your love language. Learning your love language.” 

A/N: If you didn’t guess from the tagline this is inspired by the song love language by Kehlani. I’ll probably do more of these with different shows and what not because why not. If I missed anyone lmk and I can make a part 2. Also please tag spoilers appropriately esp for manga readers, that being said spoilers for the prequel? manga on Yuuta’s part.

Characters: Itadori, Fushiguro, Kugisaki, Maki, Inumaki, Okkotsu, Gojo, Nanami, Sukuna

Warnings: said it b4 but spoiler warnings in general but esp on Yuuji, Yuuta, and Maki’s parts

Plot synopsis: The 5 love languages; physical affection, quality time, words of affirmation, gift giving and acts of service, and how each jujutsu kaisen character shows their love and affection for you. Ft. a gender neutral reader!

Word count: 2352

Itadori Yuuji

Love Language: Quality time and physical affection

Ok listen-

So for physical affection, Yuuji’s just that kind of person

He is all about giving to you

He’s holding hands with you if you’re ever walking anywhere, and if you’re not a hand holder pls pls pls let him hold your pinky he likes the reassurance

No but seriously he loves to hold you like yall could be walking in completely opposite directions and he’ll try to find some way to hold onto you until the very last second

And even then he’s all ‘:( babe imy’

‘Yuuji we just talked 2 minutes ago’

Another way he shows his love is through quality time

I think for him this is the biggest thing overall, esp as a jujutsu sorcerer bcus you never know yk but also because you’re important to him

Like remember how he literally went to occult club so that he could get out of school in time to go visit his grandpa...ye :(

He also loves finding dumb touristy things to do with you while in Tokyo or anywhere yall go together on a mission 

If you get together before he died and came back then that time he had to spend away from you literally killed him

Like my mans was goin THROUGH it

He almost considered spoiling Gojo’s secret

When he sees you again, he’s not gonna let go for like a solid day

Fushiguro Megumi

Love Language: acts of service and words of affirmation

This boy loves you so much

He loves to tell you all the things he loves about you when you’re alone

But he’s a little awkward with his words sometimes, hence where acts of service come in

He’ll immediately offer to hold your things, run to help you train or study, and if you’re cold? He’s fully prepared to never see his jacket again

Also he can’t cook but he’s fully prepared to suffer hearing Sukuna and suffering through Yuuji’s antics if it means he can learn how to make your favorite food

He also will surprise you by making you a playlist of all the songs that you’ve had stuck in your head and sends it to you randomly out of the blue one day like ‘thought you might like this’

However the best of both worlds is when he leaves you little notes throughout the day or sends you texts asking if you need anything or just encouraging you to keep going 

Negl he’s lowkey the president of the Y/N support club bcus-

You need anything? It’s yours

Cravings? Sad? Angry? What do you need bby, I’ve got it for you

Also he’s totally the type to be like you need help fuckin this person up? 

Also before yall started dating, Fushiguro was a mess

He was constantly asking to spar with you and go on missions, basically anything he could do to be near you  

End of the day, Fushiguro loves you and makes sure you know it whether it’s through his actions or his words

Kugisaki Nobara

Love Language: physical affection

So, she’s not the best with words, she tries but like someone help her bcus she is LOST

Like when she had a crush on you she was like “c’mere dumbass i wanna give you a hug”

In fact, she still is like “c’mere” but now you are dating :)

She loves you though and at first she doesn’t really know how to show it 

But one day you both come home from training and you just look at each other like ‘yeah today sucks’ and yall both just held each other for the rest of the day 

After that, she decided that she wants to do that with you but like always

She’s holding your hand, kissing your cheek when you go shopping, etc. etc.

She really loves to cling to you because she always has this fear that maybe one day you’ll get killed or just disappear so she figures might as well hold onto you for as long as we’ve got

After missions, she’s running up to you and if you aren’t prepared for the tackle, you’re probably gonna fall

On dates too, like if you guys have to meet up for a date, she’s tackling you

On the subject of dates...

She doesn’t mind PDA, and while she might hold your hand or arm so that you don’t get separated

She also doesn’t mind wiping food off your face and eating it, only to then kiss the spot on your face the food was previously at

She will split her shopping load between the two of you, however she will be slightly pouty if she’s carrying more than you (she then cheers up when she realizes she can do more shopping to “balance” the two of you)

In private she’s very cuddly and kissy which honestly isn’t that bad until it gets hot

At which point she’ll just say turn on the ac or convince you to walk around in a tank top (or something like it) so that she can continue holding you

Tbh she prefers the big spoon, but if she’s ever upset you let her be the little spoon >:(

All in all a very loving girlfriend who tries her best to show how much she loves you by glomping you at any given moment. 

Zenin Maki

Love language: acts of service and quality time

So you’re telling me that Maki wouldn’t immediately go out of her way to make sure her and her s/o can spend as much time together as possible?????

Like she’s super observant (which can cause her to be a bit harsh, see Yuuta) but she can always tell what’s bothering you

So if you’re upset that you haven’t been spending enough time together due to her being out on missions or otherwise busy she’s immediately running to finish her stuff and spend time with you.

((She’s very sorry, but on the bright side she brought your favorites!))

Maki is also an acts of service type

This mostly ties in with her kind of direct action way of thinking

She thinks she’s slick but you can always see her sneaking around to do small things like grabbing your laundry for you and folding it

She’s very much like if you love someone, you gotta prove it

Overall, dates with her are very intimate and personal to the two of you

Like she’ll take you to a frog pond you landed in during a fight once

Or you’ll take her to a street fair that serves this exclusive food that Maki mentioned wanting to try 

However, Maki shows her love through quality time and acts of service and while she does receive love from these to a degree, she is very much a words of affirmation gal

She’s not insecure in her day to day life but she has her moments, everyone does

Sometimes, she’ll feel like shit and a failure and all she wants is for you to say that she’s doing amazing and that she’s a great girlfriend.

Inumaki Toge

Love language: Physical affection

Because of his curse, he can’t exactly express how he feels about you through words

He does text you frequently throughout the day (I’ll have to do a hc abt that someday)

But he’d prefer not to be on his phone to communicate if you’re right in front of him

So he does the next best thing and just smothers you in physical affection

He loves kissing you the most

Like he could spend hours just kissing you if you let him (please let him)

But in public, he gets if you’re not a big fan of pda he’s willing to tone it down as long as he gets kisses later in private

He’d still prefer it if you held his hand or linked pinkies maintaining touch in some way

Also, unrelated, but it means so much to him if you try to understand his sushi language

He knows realistically the foundation of any relationship is communication so already he’s at a disadvantage because of his curse 

But if he sees you like take notes after he says something or start to need him to text you to translate, his heart is swelling

Like ‘omg this person loves me enough to learn a whole new language <333′

Another tangent but before you were together he was struggling so muchhhh

Like how does one express their feelings for someone without words?

If you’re Inumaki, you buy some flowers and text said person to meet you at a cafe

It took an embarrassingly long time for you to realize it was a date, but once you did, you ever so gently linked pinkies with Toge

Okkotsu Yuuta

Love language: words. of. affirmation. 

He’s literally so sensitive please tell him you love him regularly

In return he’ll be sure to tell you how much he loves you too

He knows that he can’t really be there for you as much as he’d like but he likes to let you know that he’s thinking of you

Doesn’t matter the time, if you call, he’s answering

If he doesn’t he’ll cry he’ll immediately call you back and is apologizing for missing your call

You assure him it’s no big deal but the man has his volume turned all the way up and changed your ringtone to one specific for you by the time you’ve even said hey

Aside from that, he really is sensitive

He’s been through a lot especially with Rika as well as growing up alone and bullied 

So for him, it’s everything to hear that you like having him around and don’t think he’s too much or anything like that

Of course, he gets better with time, trusting you and having the confidence in himself to not need constant assurance

That being said, if you ever just whisper in his ear, “I love you, Yuuta.”

That’s not your boyfriend, that’s a puddle of love on the floor

(Maki, Panda, and Inumaki had a field day when they saw him, Fushiguro now questions if Yuuta really is a respectable 2nd year.)

Gojo Satoru

Love language: gift giving and quality time

So Gojo doesn’t exactly get to spend a ton of time

Between missions, him beefing with higher ups, and you and him playing parent the baby sorcerers yall don’t exactly get time to go out much

In which case Gojo tends to default to two options:

He’ll either go the extra mile to try and spend time with you 

Whether that be an at home date where he tries and fails to surprise you with a home cooked meal

Or a date out at a restaurant or cafe (which you tend to visit after his home cooking efforts)

OR he’ll bring you various souvenirs from his missions

He loves to spoil you, and if he could he’d probably bring you back a whole store’s worth of stuff

But alas, airport security regulations

Anyways, he loves to spoil you especially if he can spoil you with sweets because it benefits him in two ways 

He treasures all the time you spend together, and he does try to overcompensate for his absence with gifts

Despite your assurances, it’s kind of a guilty pleasure at this point (just let him, trying to argue just goads him on further)

He doesn’t only buy you small things, he enjoys buying you outfits

And he especially likes seeing you in them 

Kento Nanami

Love Language: acts of service

Y’all remember the episode where he killed that curse that was bothering that baker lady?? Yea that

He’s literally such an acts of service boyfriend it’s not even funny

Before you got together, he would memorize your coffee order and bring you a cup pretty much everyday like clockwork

Now that you’re togehter, he wakes up before you so h=that when you wake up there’s the smell of coffee throughout the house

When you come out of you’re shared bedroom and he’s just scrooling through his phone like “mornin’”

Of course you already made the bed and ironed his clothes because relationships are give and take

And then when you leave for your jobs in the morning, he kisses you and holds the door open for you

He’ll draw a bath for you if he gets home before you, if you let him join or not is up to you

Also, if you ever get sick, he’s actually the best

Like he isn’t the best cook but he can heat up soup and tea

He’ll run to the store while you’re asleep and when you wake up, there’s like a whole tray of food in front of you and he’s like ‘it’s important to eat and drink so your body can heal’

And when you inevitably fall asleep after eating and taking medicine at his insistence, he tucks you in and clears away the dishes, exiting with little more than a kiss to your head

Ryoumen Sukuna

Love Language: gift giving and acts of service

So like Sukuna never says he loves you...ever

But he does notice if someone or something’s making you uncomfortable, and if so, said entity’s head will be presented to you later that day

You also just so happen to be the only person he can tolerate being around him for longer than 20 seconds

He also loves to give you jewelry, he likes seeing you adorned in something from him

He also isn’t gonna just handle all your problems for you, he will push you to become stronger by training with you 

He’ll also expect this energy to be reciprocated, as long as you’re pushing yourself to be better, he’s content with that

(He wants to see you grow because he’s scared that if he ever gets caught lackin one day you’ll end up dead)

He’ll never tell you or admit it, but Sukuna truly does care for you and hold you in a regard that he doesn’t have for others

So be grateful jkjk

[dellinah]

A random (and spoiler free) review of The Bad Guys (2022)

(By a South American that got to see it early)

Living in this hellhole apparently has a few positive sides to it, and one of them is that we get furry movies sooner (as the same happened with Zootopia, for some reason)

And since The bad guys came out today around here, of course I dropped everything to go check it out. Bc who cares about the things I need to do when there's a new furry movie in town. Heck yeah

So...

It's pretty fun, actually. I enjoyed it a lot. More than I thought I would. 7/10.

Keep in mind I might be biased (as is everyone) bc not only it's a furry movie (and I am a shameless furry) but I am also a major Dreamworks fan. Dreamworks movies shaped my childhood even more so than Disney, and I have the fondest memories with a lot of them. So a part of me already liked the movie before watching it, bc it'd been a while since we got a Dreamworks original, and the last time I was actually excited over a release from them was How to train your dragon 3 a few years ago. So yeah, just knowing that this was a Dreamworks original that seemed good and had potential got me hyped!

The thing about Dreamworks that makes them great to me is how they will grab seemingly silly concepts and do them with heart. Kung Fu Panda (esp 1 and 2) and HTTYD (1-3) are comedy movies with crazy premises that end up having incredible characters and story arcs in the end. Same with Shrek. And I love that. I love how a movie about a panda played by Jack Black can be so mature, I love how a boy and a dragon can have such a beautiful relationship, how an ugly ogre can end up being a great tale of true love, how puss in boots suddenly has a mom he doesnt want to let down. That's what they do best, and I love them for it

So where does The Bad Guys fall in that concept and how does it hold up against Dreamworks' greatests?

Well, let me start by what they did right:

THEY DIDN'T TELL EVERYTHING IN THE TRAILERS!!

I think everyone who has seen the trailers has an idea of what the plot is going to be like. But unlike most of the trailers for movies today, TBG's trailers actually don't show all of the story and a great part of it was kept a surprise. So whatever the story you thought of is, let me tell you: there's a bit more to it and it's not played as straight forward as I thought it would. There's a few twists that I didn't see coming and I didn't always know where it was going. It's still somewhat predictable, but you'll be surprised more often than not. That was SUCH a relief

Another thing:

They get the obvious twists out of the way fast

The writers knew which parts of the story would be the most predictable and instead of pretending not to know and treat their audience like dumbasses, it was pretty self aware of its sillyness. So anything too predictable happened in the beginning, or as soon as possible, instead or them waiting till the third act for the obvious twist like nobody had seen it coming. I applaud them for that, honestly. I dont think a story being a bit predictable is bad, but acting like it's a super secret major twist instead is pretty annoying and condescending. So congradz on that

Its fast pace and the animation

Not much to say, it's really good. The animation is cartoony, they move in a very fun way, not always realistic but never being uncanny either. I LOVE the animation, the fur texture, the EXPRESSIONS. The movie is so expressive. Yet they know the scenes that need a slower, quieter tone. Which is good, because...

The movie actually has a few heartfelt scenes that I really liked

Now, this is not HTTYD or Kung Fu Panda levels of heartfelt. But there are a few scenes and concepts that work really well and are really nicely done. Sometimes it's just a character sitting down in silence, and I like that. I like that they don't try to be overdramatic and just let quiet moments be quiet

And... *sigh*. My friends are gonna call me out for this, but I SWEAR I dont mean it only in a furry way. But:

The wolf is easily the best part of the movie, and that is both good and bad (like him)

Mr. Wolf is a fun character. He's layered and he has internal conflicts, and has a personality that works with the other characters. He is the main character of the movie, and you can tell people put a lot of love and care into him and building him up throughout the movie. Honestly, I love him a lot

Unfortunately, this gets me to what I didn't like about the movie

Many of the main characters don't really feel like they got much of a personality other than being Mr Wolf's friends. Especially where conflict was involved, I get the feeling that a lot of what they did was more "we're doing this bc the plot demands we do it" instead of "we're doing this bc we have reflected on it and this is how we feel"

Following that pattern, a few of the themes the movie brings up are a bit surface level as well. While having a solid storyline and pacing, it feels like it never goes deep into the smaller conflicts and concepts it brings up. It's like a more surface level Zootopia. I think it does lack little touches in dialog/world building that would give it that special Dreamworks touch. So while still being a silly premise with a bit of a deeper meaning like Kung Fu Panda, I think it fails to analyze the complexity of some of the things it brings up so that it could explore it fully. Such as the whole "I'm a big bad wolf, and that's all everyone will ever see me as" from the trailer. I wish it was a bit more explored, but for what it was, it still got into it well enough. It's a bit difficult to explain without spoiling it all, but yeah. I feel like it could have gone deeper than it did, but it's not flat either. Somewhere in between

Overall, it's a very fun movie with a solid storyline and small conflicts that I think have a great lesson behind them. While I wish it did a bit more than what it did and it didn't explore the premise as well as other Dreamwork movies did, it's still heartfelt. I enjoyed it a ton, and I will watch it again for sure. Not sure how useful this was, but I have thoughts and will share them

One last thing, THE MOVIE ADDS LITTLE ANIMAL TOUCHES TO THE CHARACTERS AND I LOVE THAT. Growling, tail wagging, ear scratching, molting, etc. Any anthro media that does that has points with me, bc I love it. So yes, shameless bias, shameless furry, I love wolf tails and teeth.

[onepieceheadcannons]

So this wasn't requested but I wanted to give some random Headcanons

Now this post definitely isn't for everyone's taste,

Now I know quite a bit about ABO dynamics and I haven't seen any headcanons on what each strawhat would be. Now if you do not like ABO, do not worry this will be my only post with it that isn't requested and I won't be offended if you skip this.

This definitely isn't the most detailed it can go but it's like 3 am for me and I just want these HC's outta my mind.

The Strawhats

Luffy;

This man is an Alpha, I mean how else could he become Pirate King.

Now I mean no hate to omegas, I think they should be highly respected. But based on what a society in ABO is like, it makes the most sense for Luffy to be an Alpha.

He is protective and strong, plus conquerors Haki is very similar to pheromones. He would do anything for his crew and he wants them safe.

He wouldn't be appealed to have an Omega, it wouldn't be on his agenda and he'd handle a rut very privately.

He would fight his way to the top fairly and wouldn't discriminate against betas and omegas.

I'm also down to hear anyone's different opinions on any of these.

Zoro;

I can see him in many different ways, I can see him as an Alpha but I can see Omega with insecurities about it, but my most confident answer is Beta.

The reason why is because his undying loyalty to Luffy. He would fulfill the role as a Beta quite well. He would be able to avoid the hormones of others and be quite unbothered by all of it. He would work slightly harder to be the greatest swordsman especially if Mihawk is an Alpha. He wouldn't of presented before his best friend died but if she began showing signs of an Alpha, he would probably feel the extra competitive edge to be better.

He wouldn't care if someone is an Alpha or Omega, why should that shit matter to him.

And he wouldn't really care about what his partner was.

If he was an Omega, he would use suppressants and be damned if anyone knew. He would probably beat himself up over it and would build a high tolerance to pheromones. He would NEVER let someone help through a heat unless a long term relationship. And he would never be caught in an Mpreg situation.

And if he was an Alpha, he would accept Luffy as overall Alpha. He wouldn't feel like fighting it and he has the serious demeanor. He would protect any omegas but refuse to participate in a heat. He would fight himself a shit ton and never let his guard down.

Usopp;

Beta man, there's no way he'd be an Alpha. I mean he would always feel sad about it most likely, wanting to be brave and strong. He would probably have some lingering thoughts about the system, he wouldn't see Omegas as less than but he would probably assume that Omegas and Alphas are meant together and he has to find a Beta.

Until his crush on Kaya, the caring Omega. He would fight himself internally over it but she wouldn't care if he was a Beta. She probably was told she had to find a nice Alpha but that wouldn't affect her, she really cares about Usopp. She even goes to medical school to fix him up.

He would be disturbed by Ruts and Heats, he would get flustered and stay away from whoever was having one at the time.

Sanji;

Just like Zoro I can see any of them,

But I'm leaning Beta/Omega. No offense if you are like 😡 I want an Alpha Sanji don't disrespect my man's like that

Reason why I can see Omega, he is quite loving and I think he'd make a great dad. He loves ladies so much and being an Omega wouldn't stop him. I mean hey, look how much he likes fiesty women. He definitely wouldn't be against a female alpha, as long as he doesn't know about the extra appendage during a rut.

His family storyline would play into this, his dad would've been pissed if all Sanjis siblings are an Alpha but Sanji was a "weak" omega son. He would definitely be an angry and powerful Omega, training his tolerance to pheromones. And oh my god he'd be so angry if Zoro is a Beta/Alpha.

He would avoid Alpha men, I don't see him ever wanting to date one. I think he may be a little fruity but it's so internalized he would never be okay dating any male. He would probably hope for any female, but preferring an Omega/Beta.

If Sanji is a Beta, he'd be right up there with being a supporter of Luffy. He would definitely offer to help Omegas through a heat (and promptly get turned down) . He would be frustrated anytime an Alpha was in a rut and avoid being near them at all costs. It would piss him off especially if they wanted one of the crew.

His preferences would stay the same as if he were an omega.

And as an Alpha, oh my this man would be the most respectful ever. He would be damned before he let himself with an Omega without consent said before the heat was even close. He would protect his Omega at all costs. And he would let them bite his neck back. And he would defend any omegas in a vulnerable position. He definitely has a savior complex about it though. But he definitely would believe he could only have an Omega.

Brook;

He is a skeleton, this wouldn't even affect him.

As a human tho, I could see an Omega with his love of the arts and his love for Laboon and his crew. But I don't have much of detailed one for him. Beta, possibly but that's the easiest to presume someone as.

Chopper;

He is a damn reindeer. I just wanted to include my besties name but yeah he is a reindeer no way in hell would this affect him and he'd just make suppressants for everyone. Even with the human human fruit, that wouldn't add abo to his form.

Franky;

Now there's a chance that now as a cyborg this doesn't affect him. But pre cyborg or if it did, I see him as an Omega.

This man cries his heart out (which I love dearly about him) and he is such a big bro/dad figure.

He wouldn't care what anyone was but as a kid he may have had some trouble with the concept until Tom taught him better. Esp with Ice for Brains, who I could see as an Alpha/Beta so Franky may have felt less than.

Robin;

Alpha or Beta, but she isn't an Omega.

She holds herself up with an air of stoic and dark humor/themes. She would be quite a helpful Beta and she'd protect any Omega friends. She would feel very strongly about Omegas being seen as the same as everyone else. And she would feel very insecure if she was made to submit to anyone unwillingly.

I can see Alpha tho, (esp Frobin <3), she lets Franky let his tears out and she is such a good friend. She would struggle to let her feelings out which would make her line in Enies lobby even more important. She would be experienced and she would probably offer to help an omega she was very close to but she wouldn't settle down unless you are Franky or a very solid partner to her. She wouldn't care if you were another Alpha or Beta though, she'd love you for you.

Jinbe/Jimbei;

Now I don't know if Fish people/men would even be affected but if they were.. he would be...

Alpha, but in a very nonchalant way. He was a warlord, and not just anyone would get that. He wouldn't ever make someone submit and he would fight for rights for everyone esp Omegas in his community. If he did settle down, it wouldn't matter to him. Just as long as he can share his feelings in a safe place.

But beta would work as well, he is quite devoted to his crews and is a loyal person in general and shows alot of care to Luffy during the timeskip.

I also haven't finished Fish man Island yet so I have little to work with.

Nami;

I did save her for last, this is probably the most biased one. I mean as you guys will learn, she's my girlfriend/wife, so I may see her slightly different than someone else would.

Now I feel like as many of the others, she can fit in all three. I mean everyone is going to show traits to each kind which is why I try to explain myself for each.

Alpha, i can see this. She's very fiesty and she sure as hell wouldn't want to submit to anyone. She would be a little embarrassed during a Rut and she would use suppressants. She would be fine with not being top dog but she definitely wants her respect, she's the entire reason they get anywhere.

She isn't looking for romance but she'd be fine with anyone as long as they were worth it. I think an Alpha male would be her least likely pair though, that person would have to be quite honorable and prove themselves to her as good enough.

If she's an Omega, she would be quite angry about it. She wouldn't want to be perceived as weak and sure as hell would use suppressants and she'd be damned if an alpha helped her through a heat. The only way she would, would be after a super solid relationship where there's extreme trust. She would slap the crap out of Sanji if he tried anything or suggested anything, she wouldn't have any patience especially after she had to deal with the bullshit she heard her entire time with Arlong and other crews stealing treasure.

If she was a beta, she'd probably go after another Beta. Keep thing simple. She would eyeroll at any alphas and she would be over the whole alpha/omega bullshit.

[cloudcovenkite]

Hi. Could i request what it would be like to have a crush on maki and nobara and them having a crush on you(both separate scenarios, fem reader) but you're also gojo's younger sister so i feel like he'd be a little shit abt it whenever he catches reader staring or sum shit. And basically how the whole realizing its a crush and how to whole confession goes down, who confesses, and everyones reaction esp gojo bc he's gojo yk.

I hope this wasnt to much or too specific for you and have a good day. Cant wait to read😍

This is really cute and I had a lot of fun writing this one. Sorry it took so long but its finally ready.

Enjoy🥰

What it Would Be Like to Have a Crush on Nobara and Maki as Gojo's Little Sister:

WC: 2.3k

Nobara Kugisaki

Being the younger sister to 'The Strongest Sorcerer' was not an easy task. Yeah sure you loved him and everything but he just needs to shut his mouth sometimes. You guys were pretty close growing up despite your large age gap, he was the best big brother you could have asked for......sometimes. The current situation had arisen after you joined your brother's class in the first year at Jujutsu Tech. You got along with the other students instantly. Going on missions with each other, spending nights watching movies, and eating as much pizza as you could fit in your mouth. You loved and cared for all of them but one, in particular, held a special place in your heart. Nobara Kugisaki was the most beautiful girl you had ever laid eyes on. Her short red hair and deep brown eyes you could get lost in. Her confident attitude and tendencies to take charge in intense situations drew her to you. As much as you tried to hide your feelings for the sake of your friendship, it was very obvious to someone else. The day was moving very slowly as you sat in class, not paying attention to what was happening. Your eyes started to drift to the redhead, sitting diagonally in front of you. From this angle, she wouldn't be able to see you admiring her delicate facial features or the way she would smile whenever Yuji confidently got an answer wrong.

"Y/N, have anything to share with the class? It looks like your zoning out there."

You snap your head forward at the call of your name. Your older brother has a smug look on his face, he knew what he was doing. You apologize for your lack of focus and the lesson continues. Asshole.

After class Gojo calls you to stay back a bit. You knew what he wanted to talk about so you reluctantly stayed behind.

"So, what did you wanna talk about?" You ask, pretending to have no idea what he's talking about.

"You seemed awful distracted during class today. Wanna tell me why." He had his stupid smile plastered over his face.

"I didn't sleep well last night. I was just thinking about stuff." You tried to ignore the blush slowly creeping up your neck.

"Yeah, think about Kugisaki." He laughed. At this point, your face was feeling hot with embarrassment.

"That's not-NO I-" You couldn't think of the right words to say after your brother exposing you like that, covering your face in your hands out of embarrassment.

"Awwwwwww, look at that. My little sister has a crush." He swayed back and forth on the balls of his feet as he teased you.

"I don't." You said with a serious look on your face in hopes of throwing him off your trail.

"Yeah right. I can smell a lie from miles away." You couldn't outsmart him. Guess all that was left to do was come clean.

"Fine, I do. Can I go now?" You were already tired from your long day at school and now you had to put up with his antics.

"That's cute. You know, I think she likes you two." You looked back at him almost offended. Did he think he could trick you into believing that?

"Yeah right. I get that your power is great but your six eyes can't read people's minds."

"Not their minds but any normal person can read body language. She's always so entranced by the way you speak or how she laughs at your horrible jokes." As you listened to your brother he started to make sense. You always assumed that she was only being a good friend, that you were the one captivated by her.

"Whatever, now can I go?" You asked annoyed.

"Maybe I should tell her about your little feelings." He smirked as you started to walk away.

"Tell her anything and I swear I will pull those pretty little eyes out of your head." You threatened but all he did was laugh.

"Fine, fine. I won't say anything but you should tell her. Life is short Y/N." He patted your shoulder and he left the room. You quickly chased after your brother.

"What should I say to her? I don't know how to do this," you asked, feeling defeated by your own emotions. You expected a smart-ass response from him but he only stood quietly, thinking over what to say.

"Just tell her how you feel, oh, and what you like about her." You didn't expect him to take your question seriously. Looking at him, he pulled his blindfold down. You saw the sincerity in his eyes as he gave you his advice.

"Be honest, don't shy away from what you want or else you'll end up regretting it." You smiled. You never really had a moment like this between the two of you before since Gojo was usually all fun and games but it felt nice to open up to him.

"You know, you give good advice when you're not being an asshole." You poke his side.

"That's why I'm the best big brother." He slung an arm over your shoulder (Why does this man need to be so damn tall) and you two walked back to the dorms.

------------------------------------------------------------

The next day quickly arrived. You had spent all night planning what you were going to say to Nobara when the two of you had a moment alone. As if he was playing cupid, Gojo separated the class so that you and Nobara had time alone to work while Megumi and Yuji trained in a different area. The two of you had all your books laid out messily over the picnic table outside. She needs a little bit of help before the next big test so you offered to help.

"I'm so glad you hear to help me. I suck at this." You brushed it off and continued working through some questions. Now or Never you thought.

"Hey Nobara, random question. I was thinking of telling my crush I like them, any idea's on what I should do?" The question was open-ended enough. She looked up a bit confused and slightly hurt.

"Oh, umm. I don't know. I've never really done anything like that." She looked back down as if you never asked the question and continued to work.

"I was only wondering cause I like this person and I wanted to finally tell them. I was thinking of just being upfront about it but maybe you know a better way?"

"I think being upfront about it is good." She stopped working and looked up at you. You found yourself staring into her eyes, not able to look away.

"I...I really, really like you Nobara." You said out loud. After looking at her you knew that you couldn't hold back anymore. The way her hair perfectly framed her rosy cheeks made you feel warm inside. Her eyes opened in shock at your confession. She sat there not saying anything as her face began to turn red.

"I knew I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry, just pretend like i-"

"I like you too." She blurted out, cutting your sentence short. Gojo was right (which wasn't a common occurrence).

"Wait?" You were in complete shock. She slowly nodded her head as she tried to hide the flustered look on her face. You started to laugh causing her to smile at you.

"I don't know what to say." Your face felt hot after your confession.

"Don't say anything." You looked to her, confused by her words. Making eye contact, she leaned in and your lips met finally. It was a slow and tender kiss, one of happiness and bliss. Her lips were plump and soft on yours. You reached and cupped her face in your hand as you deepened the kiss. You pulled away out of shock and need for air. Her eyes were full of love as her face was tinted a light shade of pink. You didn't know how to respond to the situation.

"I knew it!" You both looked to the side where Gojo was standing with Megumi and Yuji behind him. The basted had the biggest smile on his face. Megumi had a subtle shocked look while Yuji's jaw hit the floor. You both looked away after getting caught. Gojo came up behind you and started talking about how he was right and pestering you while your two other classmates just watched their teacher harass the two of you.

"look at my little sister all grown up." He grabbed your chin and smushed your cheeks in his large hand.

"Stop it Satoru." You waved him off of you.

"Say I'm the best big brother and I'll leave you alone."

"Not happening." He slouched over your shoulder. His tall and lanky frame doubling over you.

"Okay fine, you the best big brother."

"Ever?"

"Ever." He stood up tall and congratulated the two of you. Nobara still reeling from embarrassment.

"Usually I would give you two a long speech about you getting pregnant but I don't think I need to worry about that."

"Satoru!" You shouted as he ran away.

Maki Zenin

Being a second year at Jujutsu tech meant you didn't have to put up with your older brother as your teacher anymore. The freedom you felt was overwhelming. You got to know your fellow second years quite well during your time. You and panda like to brawl with each other now and then. You can understand Toge quite well now. The person you were the closest with by far was Maki Zenin. As the only two girls in your year, you guys spend a lot of time together. Where spending hours talking when you should be sleeping or trying to outdo each other at Mario cart (Currently you are in the lead) you guys were inseparable, practically joined at the hip. Because you guys were so close you started to catch feelings for her very quickly while in your first year but you brushed it off as a sisterly like love. After growing and realizing just how much you truly cared for her you started to confide in your older brother, Gojo. You two became quite close while you attended Jujutsu Tech so much so that you started to have proper grown-up conversations (Or as grown-up as Gojo can be). He would make fun of you for your feeling but you could make just as much fun of him when it came to him not knowing how to be a real adult. Make fun of how skinny he is and he will fold like a lawn chair.

It was just another day after class. It was boiling outside and the school didn't have good air conditioning in their classes so you decided to go bother your brother in the staff lounge.

"You know your not supposed to be in here," Gojo said while on his phone. You plopped down on the long couch, dying of heatstroke.

"What are you gonna do? Kick me out. I'd like to see you try." You guys sat in silence for a minute while you recovered your strength to talk to him.

"It is so hot outside." You mutter.

"I think that's what happens during the summer." He responds with a smirk. You just grumble at him.

"You talk to Maki yet?" He quickly changed the subject. He's been on your ass about it ever since you told you were going to tell her your feeling...2 months ago.

"I'll do it when I want to. What do you know about feeling." You said rhetorically.

"I am an expert on love. I have had my fair share of it."

"Sleeping with anybody who takes the slightest interest in you isn't love, it's called being a man whore."

"Hey, take that back!" He pointed at you all dramatic-like. He knew it was true but hearing it come out of his little sister's mouth had a different impact.

"No. Your a man child who never considers other people's feelings so that makes you a man whore." You smile at him. He started at you with a competitive grin.

"I think I need to go have a little conversation with Maki." Gojo then teleported out of the room before you could grab a hold of him. Before thinking about it, you sprinted out of the room to find him. Running up and down the halls, you found the two of them talking in the main corridor. You run-up to the two of them out of breath from sprinting in the heat.

"So Maki-san. What do you have to say about this." You look to Gojo horrified. Did he tell her about your true feelings? Looking to Maki who had a relatively calm look on her face.

"I mean I feel the same way, I don't know why you had to make such a big deal of it Gojo-sensei." You were startled by her words. Did she like you? Gojo backed up a bit to give you some space but he stayed close enough to hear you two.

"Wait really, you do?"

"Yeah of course." She seemed so calm it was almost scary.

"Maki I, I really like you. Like a lot. I was scared to say anything cause I didn't want to ruin our friendship." You blushed after finally coming clean.

"Wait, what?" She looked shocked and confused. You looked horrified.

"What did he say to you?"

"Umm, he said that you were happy to have me as a best friend." That asshole. He tricked you into confessing.

"I'm sorry I sh-"

"No, I...kinda like you too." Maki looked down a bit. Her golden eyes portray strong emotions. After all the confusion you didn't know how to react. You brought her into a tight hug and snuggled your face into her neck to which she reciprocated. You pulled back and pecked her check causing her to get flustered.

"Haha, I'm the best." Gojo stood next to the two of you feeling accomplished in himself. You ran and tackled him to the floor.

"I am going to hurt you so bad."

[wizkiddx]

without making this a sap story ive had some not so great news from home and am in one of them moods to not talk abt it. but i need a tom h to hug me , pls could u write something like that?

hey anon - i am sending u all my love, and hope things get a little easier for u as soon as possible. if u ever do wanna chat abt nothing or rant just send me a pm x  I hope this is at least somewhat what u were looking for <33

summary: life is sometimes not good, but your fave boy makes it just a little easier to deal with (with some original help from his brother too)

a bit angsty but i promise mainly fluff (and a popcorn fight?)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What drew you out of the sort-of-trance was a two soft but firm knocks at the door - well Tom’s bedroom door. You’d been relaxing with him and Harry, watching the new ‘Line of Duty’ when your mum had called for the daily catch up. Admittedly, she had already tried to call you twice today but somehow you’d managed to miss both of them. On reflection, possible not that shocking because you’d been at a charity golf day with the boys which involved a fair amount of noise, chat and competition. 

Thankfully the boys had both done pretty well, Tom coming slightly ahead but that was the norm between the two. It meant they were both happily basking in their relative victories and not moody and grumpy like they are oh so often when things go wrong. Because to them, against your pleading, begging and sometimes lecturing…. golf was not just a game.  

You and your mum had always been very close, so usually speaking to her was uplifting and made you feel a little bit more complete - what with travelling with Tom for work, her voice was a slice of home. This time though, it was not so much the case. It was just sad news about your home town. Nothing directly to your family or close friends but still, it makes you feel generally down. 

Who knows how long it’d been since you’d hung up on the phone, just staring at the wall opposite. Everything felt just hollow and empty, lacking in meaning somewhat. You weren’t necessarily thinking, more like devoid of emotion, of thoughts, of anything. Just a bit cold. 

“Y/n…Y/n?” His voice sounded hesitant, as though scared he was interrupting your call. When you didn’t respond, the door cracked open and his fluffy head poked in, not that you noticed - your brain was still half absent. Tom on the other hand, was instantly looking you up and down, very much confused as the why you looked so rigid and not present. Noticing the phone was lying quiet on the bed in front of you, he felt safe to enter. He made a beeline for the bed, perching himself down on the edge, in-front of you - so he was blocking your fascinating view of the grey wall opposite. 

“What’s going on in that little head of yours?” His voice was soft and gravely, choosing not to put much energy into his vocal box as he rubbed up and down one of your arms. 

“Hmmm? Sorry, was miles away.”

“Could tell darl.” As he chuckled his eyes crinkled round the outside. “How was your mum?”

“Yeh…um okay, I-I guess.” As much as you wanted to shake yourself out of it, it just wasn’t that easy. Everything was laced with this underlying chilliness. 

“You sure? You dont really sound it?” 

“No, I um…well I’m not sure. I think I’m okay?”

“What happened?” You shook your head in response, making Tom press his lips together with a small nod. “ Don’t wanna talk about it huh?” 

“Not… not right now. Please?” 

With a permitting nod, Tom stood up and squeezed your hand, urging you to follow. Trailing behind him into the living room, he then instructed you to take a seat on the sofa adjacent to Harry, Tom himself disappearing back into the house. It made you pout a little, you wanted him to just look after you a little this evening but that self pity wasn’t allowed to last long - because a piece of popcorn flew into your cheek. You whipped your head around, with mouth open feigning shock, to see Harry smirking at you cradling a bowl full of other possible missiles in hand. 

“And what was that for?” He shrugged his shoulders, turning his head back to the TV.

“You looked sad.”

“…” Your mouth was open, no words coming out though, as you looked at the frizzy haired boy in bemusement. Sometimes you thought you understood how his head worked but at other points, the boy was a bloody mystery. Instead of explaining his thought process (because there almost certainly wasn’t one), he just smiled evily at you - wiggling his brows. And I know you know what that meant.

Sure enough by the time Tom reentered the room, arms full with different objects he’d collected round the house, the floor had been littered with popcorn kernels. You and Harry were squealing at each other as handfuls of the snack were catapulted vaguely at each other as you chased him round the room. It took Tom shouting at the both of you for you to freeze, slowly lowering your hands in ceasefire with a giggle. 

“I leave you alone for two minutes.”

“ It was his fault!” You protested, causing a 5 minute of ‘ he said-she said’ between the two of you, even if Tom wasn’t listening to the bickering. Instead, he quickly whizzed round the room picking up all the obvious popcorn bits and then spread out all the blankets he’d got from round the rented house on the sofa.

 You knew Harry, in his very own and special way, was only doing all this to cheer you up and you couldn’t appreciate it more. Your relationship with him had recently got so much closer, thanks to Tom being busy on set actually filming - while you and Harry just had some quality ‘almost sibling’ times. And now living with him too - naturally he had grown to know your tells almost as well as Tom. 

“Alright children calm down… thought we could watch movie?” Plopping himself down on the cream seat, Tom made grabby hands to you which of course you had to comply with. 

“I’ll um… I’m gonna leave you to- well to the being in love shit. It’ll make me chunder”

“We love you too bro” Tom called to Harry, who was already on his way out - but the tone of gratefulness in his voice was evident, he appreciated Harry noticing that the two of you could do with time together. 

“Don’t make it weird!” Harry’s response had you sniggering, as you pulled the fluffiest blanket over both you and Tom and nestling into his side. 

After a few minutes of Tom pretending to argue with you about film choice, before ultimately agreeing with your choice of ‘La la land’ as he always planned on letting you. The Holland boys were both very talented at subtly being a shoulder if needed, and yes you knew it was all an act - but you weren’t about to call him out. About halfway through he kissed the crown of your head and murmured. “Can tell you’re not watching darling.” He wasn’t wrong to be fair. Yes, you were looking at the screen - but your mind was far away from the plot line. 

“Sorry I um… minds like a runaway train sometimes.” Tom released a breathy chuckle at that before murmuring a ‘come ‘ere’ to you as he all but lifted you up from sitting by his side. You ended up lying almost onto of him, with both of Tom’s strong arms holding you tightly to him. Smiling into his chest, you nestled closer so the soundtrack to the movie played over the top of his constant thudding heartbeat. It took a few moments of you both just staring into the screen, completely contented for Tom to speak, squeezing you slightly tighter whilst the two of you watched Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone twirling on the road.

“I gotchu now lovie” 

And you swore then that all the thoughts racing in your mind were outpaced by those of a different kind. Still intense ideas, ones that buzzed round your brain, but these were happy. Thoughts of ‘how could I be so lucky’ and ‘I love this man with my whole heart’. 

Apparently these thoughts were also a comfort because when Tom looked down at you after what must’ve been at least half an hour, you were spark out. Breathing deep and unchanging, eye locked shut and mouth slightly squashed against his chest so your lips were pressed together. But what made the boy physical pout was the way you relaxed hand was loosely balled round a fistful of his purple hoodie. As if you were clutching at him to keep him as close to you as possible. 

He felt so grateful - not only for you, but also for the fact that he had the ability to make it a little better. You didn’t need him - Tom swore you were one of the most fiercely independent people he’d ever met - yet it was clear you wanted him. You wanted him when you felt down, the same way you wanted to be around him when you were overly hyper and chatting pure rubbish. You didn’t want him because he was the ‘Tom Holland’ you wanted him because he was Tom. 

He couldn’t fix what was going on back at your home (I mean right now, he still didnt even know what was going on). But he did know how to make everything just a little less shit. He knew how to be your person. 

And that would forever be job Tom was most proud of.

once again sending u all lots of love (esp u anon 💕)

would love to know what u guys think if ya made it this far ;)

tagging (link to join) : @hallecarey1 @hollandfanficlove

[ranboo5]

whats 'the clip' and knifetrick?

Augh. Under the cut for shipping discourse and p/dophilia ment (nothing graphic or specific). Gets long bc I discuss my thoughts on DSMP shipping in general. You are setting me up fr anon

Some quick vocab -

intimacy here is used to refer to. Well. Any kind of intimacy between characters, of any sort, as an umbrella term /r, /p, and /qp here are used as shorteners to denote "romantic," "platonic," and "queerplatonic," both as adjectives And as verbs ("to /r" = "to portray romantically") shipping here is used to refer to any focused examination of intimacy between characters

And some clarity that Should follow from the essay next but may not - """anti-antis"""" and RPF writers delete forever

The Clip is from one of if not the? most recent Discord stage(s) Mr Live has done (which I missed when it was live RIP) wherein he issues a hard ban on shipping him ("do not ship me, in any way, with anyone!") which would less influence c!beeduo (which has been portrayed/stated to be romantic AND nonromantic both conflictingly for a while until being confirmed unconfirmed several months ago, that being the last was heard) without its direct invocation if he hadn't also cited for the reason as being underage ("'Cause, one, it's straight up pedophilia") which is! a) immediately applicable to At Least his DSMP character, Partially and b) while not Strictly True (should b obvious that portraying a relationship within the bounds of what it is in canon and in a nonsexual way is not That, and /r-ing c!beeduo etc was possible to do Appropriately again by remaining w/in the bounds of canon) is Clearly Indicative of the fact that baggage-wise it IS associated with people being fucking creeps

This Really complicates things bc like okay the apparent solution is "lol just don't /r it" but it's really like. A Worse issue than that bc like.

Okay the reason shipping in terms of fictional characters is a Different Bar is bc it's an examination of Intimacy and certain lines exist in certain dynamics of intimacy that Isn't Shown (which is the whole Within The Bounds Of Canon thing) which is important in a medium like DSMP because of the smaller gap + more personal relationship b/w character and streamer. Examining intimacy beyond th bounds of the consent that has been established in that regard is Weird at best and Violating And Creepy more often and, As Mentioned In Ranb's Stage, Literally Evil at worst

Which is why writing abt like. QPR or platonically intimate Techno and Philza (characters) is smth that is fine because that's smth that has been shown and repeatedly stated onscreen; it's in the bounds of canon n thus within th bounds of what the streamers've consented 2 be done with their characters. But writing T3chza making out or whatever is fucked up because it's smth that's beyond those consent barriers

And the thing is right

Slapping a /p on T3chza makeout doesn't. Make it less violating

Like what you CALL romantic is not the measure or whether it's past those barriers yk? And if it's indistinguishable, if it's in extrapolative territory that is Past The Bounds, it Does Not Matter how much you /p it EVEN IF IT IS TECHNICALLY PLATONIC y feel? Like at the end of the day placing a moratorium on some/all forms of shipping is placing a moratorium on certain examinings of intimacy

And okay 2 go back to Mr Live and his character. What it implies taken in context w/ older portrayals of c!beeduo and said by invoking smth that both evokes Really fucked up baggage (that does unfortunately exist btw I'm sorry if you didn't know that but People Really Do B Fucked Up Abt Beeduo) AND applies to his character is a revocation of consent to examining deep intimacies:tm: with his character, which is gonna apply regardless of the nature of that intimacy (even if nonromantic)

Like I don't /r c!beeduo myself, do not, never have, but I talk to people who have and have consumed content where they r background /r; I also don't think it matters. Like I don't Actively /r it and I don't Actively Not /r it because imho w/ the intimacy regarding c!beeduo that is plot relevant and character important whether that intimacy is /p /qp or /r doesn't really matter. I don't consider myself Less of a c!beeduo shipper than someone who /rs them because that would be dumb as hell and while none of the content I've made* is Intrinsically or Intentionally /r it certainly can be read tht way as much as it can be read /qp or /p. It's be dumb and hypocritical of me to like, dunk on ppl for /r-ing c!beeduo when I'm also invested in these two and my tonetags r not gonna suddenly Delete the picking apart I've done of the dynamic @ hand

Which Has Been. Within Bounds Of Canon. It's been what's been shown (sometimes to my great distress. There is a reason that the :canon_beeduo: emote looks the way it does) Directly Onscreen and in general keeping with the tone n intensity/directions of what they've Done With The Characters

HOWEVER

As mentioned up there. Revocation of consent

It makes. Full sense 2 me that Mr Live wants to place a moratorium or fullon ban on shipping his characters perhaps where he wouldn't have before because of the Unfortunately Very Extant trends of people being Fucking Weird about shipping his characters AND of using them as a Thinly Veiled Excuse to ship HIM, which. I should not have to explain why shipping real people is fucking abhorrent

THIS creates a problem which is a. Bit of a vacuum in interacting with what is a facet of c!Ranboo's arc, decision making, and character. Like you CAN have c!Ranboo w/o cbeeduo but you Can't Really have his plotline without examining c!beeduo. And as I mentioned earlier: even if your examination of c!beeduo is fully platonic, the significance of it To the plotline means that any examination of it and its relevance to the plotline and characters IS gonna be an examination of intimacy, which. Regardless of it's platonic, Is Still Shipping

Unless some HARD retconning happens it leaves this like. Hole in an aspect of c!Ranboo's arc and decisionmaking and it's very. Uncertain? God. Fucking months ago I was already kind of :huh. Does he know what the fuck he's doing: irt c!beeduo and desperately wishing for things to be cleared up and now it's only That Much Stronger

NOW. KNIFETRICK, FINALLY

Knifetrick (or, as it’s actually listed, Bishop’s Knife Trick) is a fic about "Ran and Jackie from The Pit TFTSMP" in a "canon-typical ambiguously romantic relationship." As you can tell from the scare quotes, especially if you've seen me vague, both of these are, to put it politely, Doubtful. I've read the fic; I will not be sharing my opinions because that would be neither productive nor responsible (I will just say I can't recommend it and leave it at that) but I WILL say the following that Is relevant to the conversation:

Ran's and Jackie's characterizations respectively have very little to do with characterizations from The Pit, and bear a dollar-store-version resemblance to tropes and personality motifs found in ESPECIALLY fanon c!beeduo, especially later in the fic. I would not go so far as to say they are Intentionally Literally Ranboo and Tubbo but they are transparent expies and were clearly written at LEAST unintentionally w/ c!beeduo in mind (esp since. Ran and Jackie barely interacted in The Pit), and for a readerbase that, as far as I can tell, is HUGELY dominated by /r c!beeduo shippers. Like. Sorry. This is off-brand c!beeduo.

The dynamic between the two is pretty unambiguously romantic, also; despite what the fic's white knights claim, romantic tropes and implications/motifs/imagery from at LEAST chapter two, and is very much explicitly romantic by the most recent chapter.

FROM CH1:

"And now, with raised eyebrows and a pursed lip, the newly named General Jackie observes Ran in such a way that makes the enderman’s skin crawl. Ran reminds himself that this kid, as short and harmless as he may look, is trained to kill. [...] Jackie narrows his eyes and tilts his head a little, as if he’s trying to read in between every one of Ran’s imperfect scales."

FROM CH2:

"It makes Ran’s skin itch with discomfort. [...] 'That actually doesn’t explain much of anything at all,' complains Jackie, and he pops a few croutons into his mouth with one hand. 'Tell me what you’re thinking, pretty-boy.'

"Ran feels his face flush, no doubt mildly glowing green.

"Yes, that was the other thing. The unnecessary compliments to his physical appearance.

"They don’t happen very often, and don’t seem to have very much meaning or intention behind them— Jackie often speaks like an unthinking kid— but when they do happen… they’re embarrassing. [...] It’s annoying how the rug is pulled out from under his feet in these moments when he’s 'embarrassed'. Like the conversation see-saw has temporarily shifted weight in the general’s favor."

I am not going to include excerpts from Chapter 6 because it's just the entire chapter.

I WILL SAY, HOWEVER, STEPPING ON THIS SCORPION BEFORE IT STINGS: they are not written in an RPFy manner and I don't think there's any grounds, including Vibes, of accusing Knifetrick of being like. Closet truthing or whatever. Also, while I think there's certainly Some Weirdness ESPECIALLY around the reaction, the romance itself is Not written in any way I'd call weird or problematic pre-clip; it's nothing inappropriate or like Weirdly Fetishy or whatever. Knifetrick is not #problematic or anything and I don't have beef with like the concept of liking it intrinsically; if I thought it was like. Abhorrent I wouldn't be sharing excerpts lmao dhjfnhdsbvdnfjh. Hence: if anyone uses this post or anyth like it to send harassment or bad faith ANYTHING to anyone involved with Knifetrick I will hunt you down in the fucking night even if it WAS #problematic that'd be the LITERAL OPPOSITE of productive and as it stands it's Literally Not. Essentially: Knifetrick is a (questionably-written /mean) fic using Ran and Jackie from The Pit as a vessel for a large chunk of the dynamics and headcanons of fanon /r c!beeduo in particular

And again, I would not call it problematic in any way (aside from the disingenuity of the insistence that it's TOTALLY UNRELATED TO BEEDUO and TOOOTALLY WASN'T INTENDED TO BE ROMANTIC GUYS like own your shit please)... IF it weren't for the advent of The Clip, which is calling in2 question the Entirety of the problem of /r-ing any variant of c!beeduo or any of Ranboo's characters at all

I really do not have an answer for this tbh. I genuinely wanna hear from the streamer on this more specifically because I like,,, I got no clue where 2 go from here? Do I just consider an arc retconned? Was it an issue of speaking abt a troubling subject kneejerk wise and I'm reading too much in2 it?

I just. I dunno

Tl;dr (AT LONG LAST)

- The Clip is a clip of a Discord stage where Ranboo (streamer) loudly explicitly decried shipping in a way that implicitly applies to characters he plays - This would be all well and good but is rendered complicated by the plot relevance of c!beeduo, which does not stop being shipping if it's /p'd due to it still necessarily being an examination of a particular intimacy in a way that is in canon hard to distinguish the /p, /qp, or /r nature of - Bishop's Knife Trick is an AO3 fic centered around using TFTSMP characters as /r c!beeduo expies which is not a bad thing in and of itself unless it also is covered under this moratorium - Things remain unclear until and unless we get clearer word from streamer, but considering Mr Live seems to be allergic to clarifying anything abt c!beeduo this is doubtful

*very little if any of the content I personally have made 4 c!beeduo has been posted publicly, for related reasons. You May have seen it if you're in servers w/ me, depending on Which Ones

[ya-girl-mc]

Sweet Indulgence

Character: Kuroo Tetsurou × Fem Reader

Concept: Y/N and Kuroo spend their Valentine's evening with a homecooked date night dinner; then came "dessert" 😏

⚠️ Warning: Sexual content (also contains a minor spoiler from the Haikyuu!! manga since I referred to a lil detail there for Kuroo's character in this fic)

A/N: Happy Valentine's Day ya'll esp to those who'll be spending it alone (me lol 😔✊). This fic was requested by a dear irl friend of mine who's one of the biggest Kuroo trash I know so here ya go 😉

☆☆ A Haikyuu!! Fanfiction ☆☆

"Damn it."

Kuroo's disgruntled voice caused Y/N to look up from her morning coffee as she gazed at him inquisitively. "What's up?"

A deep frown etched on his face, he sighed and set his phone down on the table, his attention once again on his half-eaten breakfast. "The Chief. He needs me to work overtime tonight, of all times. I swear that old man is giving me way too much load for how much I'm getting paid-"

Y/N brought up her coffee mug to her lips, gazing at her boyfriend sympathetically as she listened to him rant about his rather unfortunate office life. While Kuroo loves and is adept at his new job at the Sports Promotion Division of the Japan Volleyball Association, his overbearing boss made matters far from pleasing.

Ah yes, the toil of the working class.

"-and we even made those dinner reservations tonight for Valentine's Day."

Oh, right. Like any typical run-of-the-mill working class couple, Y/N and Kuroo were looking forward to a classy dinner to celebrate the 14th, yet the unforeseen circumstances seemed to have derailed their evening plans. Huffing in annoyance, he set his utensils down and shot her a guilty look. She was quite disappointed of course, but it couldn't be helped; it's all part of the game, as they say. "It's fine, we could always go at a different time. You do what you gotta do."

"You know, when you act all level-headed like that, I can't help but feel even worse," Kuroo sighed, thoroughly frustrated at how his boss managed to ruin their dinner plans.

She grinned at him as an idea occurred to her. "What time do you get off work today?"

"Probably 8 or 9, at the latest. Why?"

"Great!" Y/N chimed, chuckling sheepishly as soon as she noticed the impassive expression on Kuroo's face. "Well...not because you have to work overtime since that definitely sucks. I mean, I'd have enough time to prepare us a fancy dinner for date night." Her eyes lit up in excitement, her mind already racing with ideas as she began to ponder on what dishes to prepare.

Kuroo grinned at her in amusement, feeling himself gradually get over his workplace woes. Glancing at his phone, he briskly cleaned up after himself and proceeded to grab his belongings. "Thanks for the meal, but I'd better go on ahead. The earlier I can get there, the sooner I can get everything done."

Y/N followed suit and ushered him to the entrance of their shared apartment. It was pretty rare to see Kuroo invigorated on a weekday morning as he usually lazed around with her for a bit before they both headed off to their respective offices; the idea of a scrumptious date night dinner prepared by his lover definitely served as extra motivation to get through the day.

After adjusting his tie, she proceeded to ruffle his hair to try and straighten his stubborn bed head, but to no avail. "I don't know how you can seem to pull off going to work with bed hair, but anyway, do your best today, Kuroo-san!" She teased and saw him off with a salute.

Damn it, how adorable.

In one swift motion, he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close, his lips pecking hers ever so slightly as he pulled away, chuckling at the dazed expression on her face. "I'll make it up to you later, I promise. Then, I'll be off." He waved at her as Y/N watched his retreating figure, her heart still pounding from their prior interaction.

As I thought, cohabitation really is the best.

*****

It was just about past 7 in the evening when Y/N arrived at their apartment with an armful of groceries. Despite getting off from work as early as 5:30, she lost track of time in the supermarket, completely engulfed with the multitude of ideas that raced through her mind. Cooking was a passion of hers, and there's nothing she enjoys more other than spoiling her significant other with her culinary prowess.

Unloading the bags on the kitchen's countertop, Y/N's eyes scanned over the ingredients, thoroughly pleased with her purchase.

Seared rib eye steak paired with a classic red wine jus, a creamy and delectable potato au gratin as a side dish, and a decadent chocolate mousse dessert for that extra indulgence...ahhh it's perfect! I'll make sure that every penny spent on these ridiculously expensive ingredients will be worth it!

Y/N threw an apron on and proceeded to undertake the necessary preparations for each of the dishes, determined to salvage what's left of her and Kuroo's Valentine's Day plans with probably the best dinner she'll be preparing by far. She recounted on the recipes she had sneakily studied in-between working hours, finding herself completely engrossed with the tasks at hand.

Okay, the gratin's baking in the oven...once there's 30 minutes left to its cooking time that's when I'll start preparing the red wine jus. Then I'll be searing the steak, let it rest, then prepare the mousse in the process. Yep, I got this in the bag!

Once more immersing herself in her culinary escapades, Y/N was finally down to the last task of whipping up the chocolate mousse when the front door opened, signaling Kuroo's arrival from work as the wonderful aromas that wafted from the kitchen uplifted him from his weariness. With her back turned towards him, he shut the door and sauntered towards the kitchen, a scheming grin on his face as he crept towards his oblivious girlfriend.

"Y/N," he breathed teasingly into her ear, causing her to yelp in surprise.

"Goddammit, Tetsurou!" She hastily switched off the hand mixer to avoid splattering chocolate mousse everywhere, shooting him a dirty look in the process. "You're lucky I only had a mixer in my hand! What if it was something else, like a-"

The sight of her handsome lover, still clad in his office attire with a bouquet of flowers in his hand, rendered her speechless. He chuckled as Y/N continued to gawk at him, stepping closer to wrap his free arm around her shoulders. "Happy Valentine's Day." Kuroo tenderly pressed his lips on her temples as he handed her the bouquet.

Ahh, great. Now I feel like crap for yelling at him like that. Unable to suppress the smile that made its way to her face, she sheepishly accepted his gift, standing on her toes to plant an appreciative kiss on his cheek. "T-thank you...and Happy Valentine's Day, too."

The warmth that adorned her cheeks just made her even more irresistible, yet Kuroo tried to reel in his urges as he allotted a reasonable distance between them. "So, what did my cute lover prepare for date night?"

As if on cue at his inquiry, her eyes immediately lit up. "Well, I started off by preparing the potato au gratin since that takes the longest to cook. I infused the cream with a little thyme, rosemary, and a dash of lemon zest to cut back on the heaviness. Then, for the rib eye steak, I-" Kuroo simply listened on as she rambled, the corners of his mouth turning upwards as she explained the entirety of the cooking process of each of the dishes she had prepared. While he didn't understand a majority of it, it was utterly endearing for him to see her so engrossed in the fervor of her culinary passion.

So basically, she prepared a fancy potato dish, a steak dish, and chocolate mousse for dessert. Damn it, she's just too adorable when she goes all out.

"-so anyway," Y/N continued, grasping Kuroo's attention once more. "Can you check if the mousse tastes fine? I'm a bit concerned that I may have fallen short on the sweetness." With a spoon in hand, she scooped a generous amount and held it out for him to taste.

Taking it into his mouth, Kuroo's eyes widened as the dessert's decadence flooded his taste buds. The mousse was not overbearingly sweet due to the dark chocolate she used, yet it still delivered the right amount of indulgence for a dessert; the perfect balance of flavor was definitely to his liking. "Wow, that's delicious!" He exclaimed and was tempted to beg for another spoonful.

Y/N grinned, her pride swelling up at his positive feedback. "Yay, glad to hear! I'll be popping this in the fridge to chill while we have dinner."

Setting down the bouquet of flowers on the countertop, she proceeded to take the bowl; however, Kuroo had something else in mind as he held her arm and leaned closer, peering at her inquisitive expression. "Why don't you give it a taste as well?"

"Uhm...okay." As she reached for another spoon, Kuroo snatched it away from her and shook his head dismissively. Scooping a spoonful of the mixture, he applied a dollop of mousse on his fingers and held it out, a mischievous smirk on his face.

"Here." 

The atmosphere between them suddenly shifted, and with Kuroo eyeing her so earnestly, she couldn't help her cheeks from flaming up at his promiscuous gesture. Amid Y/N's brief contemplation, he brushed his fingers across her lips and gently pushed them into her mouth.

Her heart thumping at how unbelievably alluring Kuroo was at their proximity, she locked her eyes with his, her tongue slowly lapping up the remnants of chocolate mousse. It was long gone, yet she continued to suck fervently on his fingers, earning a shudder from him. She slowly took it out of her mouth, keeping her gaze trained on his. "You're right, it is delicious."

Kuroo's eyes darkened with lust as he took a step closer, running his thumb across her lip to collect all remaining traces of the mousse. His tongue slowly darted out of his mouth and licked his thumb clean, grinning as Y/N simply stared at him, her mouth slightly agape. "I know that you just prepared us a delicious dinner, but there's something else I'd rather eat right now."

Unable to hold himself back any longer, Kuroo slipped his hand behind her head, pulling her close as his lips urgently met hers. The force nearly made Y/N stumble, but his arm immediately went around her waist, stabilizing her position as she met his kiss with fervor. As their tongues intertwined, both of them could detect a hint of sweetness from the remnants of the chocolate mousse which only intensified their thirst for the other.

Y/N struggled to breathe as Kuroo's tongue relentlessly explored her mouth, the hands that held his blazer beginning to tremble. He took her bottom lip into his teeth, the sharp sensation causing her knees to buckle as he backed her up into the countertop, pressing himself even closer to her. Her head was beginning to spin, and if it weren't for Kuroo's lean stature holding her in place, she would have collapsed then and there.

"T-tetsurou," Y/N gasped out as Kuroo trailed his lips across her jaw and down to her neck, wincing as she felt his teeth graze the skin. His hands wandered down to her waist as he hoisted her up on the countertop, his tongue darting out to soothe the love bites he left along her neck. Pulling away momentarily, he eyed her with raw passion and need as he loosened up his neck tie, the seemingly mundane gesture igniting Y/N's desire.

"Strip for me." His voice was low, commanding, yet she could sense the desperation it conveyed. Her heart pounding wildly, Y/N proceeded to remove her apron and unbutton her blouse, her face burning at how Kuroo's eyes scrutinized her every move; however, her current position hindered her as she struggled to discard her skirt. Leaning back on her forearm, she slightly lifted her hips and slipped off her skirt with her free hand, causing Kuroo to grit his teeth at how unbelievably erotic the entire scene was.

Now down to her underwear, Y/N attempted to pull him towards her yet he shook his head defiantly, his finger trailing from her lips down to the swell of her breasts. "I meant all of it."

"You should've clarified it earlier," she huffed, completely flustered at how Kuroo enjoyed making her squirm.

He then responded to her quip with his own. "I didn't think that needed to be clarified, Y/N."

Completely at a loss on how to respond, she sighed in defeat and conceded as her hands moved to discard the last few pieces of clothing, eventually swallowing hard as she noticed how aroused Kuroo had gotten through his slacks. He wanted to take her then and there, but as his eyes wandered to the bowl of chocolate mousse atop the counter, he decided to have a little bit more fun; it was Valentine's Day after all.

Y/N followed his gaze and immediately caught on on what he was planning to do, sighing internally as the dessert she painstakingly made will be used for a completely different purpose. Yet, she fidgeted in anticipation, unable to deny how much the prospect turned her on. Kuroo chuckled, the gestures she displayed serving as all the confirmation he needed to proceed.

Reaching for the bowl and a ladle, Kuroo scooped a generous amount of mousse and poured it on her body, his own breathing picking up as he watched the slightly viscous mixture cascade down her bare chest. "That kind of tickles," Y/N remarked shyly, keeping her eyes trained downwards as she couldn't bring herself to look at him.

As I thought...this is kind of embarrassing after all.

Kuroo sensed her apprehension. He leaned towards her and pressed a reassuring kiss on her cheek, a gentle smile adorning his face. "I'll be cleaning this off of you in no time."

Before Y/N could process the implications of his words, she flinched in surprise as Kuroo's tongue boldly lapped up the mousse on her chest, her hands immediately moving towards his hair as she trembled in pleasure. His hands on her thighs, he abruptly pulled her closer towards him, her legs wrapping around his waist in the process. The sweetness of the mousse and the lustful moans Y/N released overwhelmed his senses as he ran his tongue over her nipple, her hands tightening its grip on his hair in response. It was starting to hurt a bit as she pulled at the strands, completely lost in her own passion as he stimulated her, yet Kuroo didn't mind; rather, it only encouraged him further as he began to take her nipples into his teeth, causing her to cry out at the sensations he induced.

"T-tetsurou...enough, please," she begged in-between gasps as she lifted Kuroo's head from her chest, her eyes dazed and completely overcome with desire.

"All right, all right. I'll stop," he rescinded, pulling away from Y/N slightly as he grinned at the panicked expression on her face.

"N-no, that's not what I-"

"You want me to touch you elsewhere, right?" Kuroo once more reached for the ladle and poured a generous amount of mousse along her thighs. In an instant, he was down on his knees as he positioned her legs atop his shoulders, the new angle allowing him an enticing view of her soaked core. Glancing up momentarily at her, he shuddered in pleasure as he noticed the lustful way she was looking at him.

Licking his fingers clean, he kissed hungrily down her thigh, his tongue darting out to lap up the sweet mixture. Y/N moaned uncontrollably, twining her fingers with the strands of his hair in an attempt to keep him in place. Kuroo's mouth eventually reached her inner thigh, the warm breaths he let out teasing her entrance. He looked up once more to seek out her permission as the single nod she managed was all the confirmation he needed.

His lips and tongue began to stimulate her most sensitive parts, Y/N's grip on his hair tightening as she gasped out in pleasure. She was intoxicating, the high-pitched noises and gestures she made guiding him in his ministrations. As soon as his lips touched her sweet spot, she jerked in surprise, causing Kuroo to cease his actions. "What's wrong? Did that feel good for you?"

Y/N nodded earnestly as she looked down at him; the sight of Kuroo on his knees with his head in-between her legs was just too much to take. Taking her silence as a signal to continue, he resumed his earlier actions, her every response, no matter how miniscule, fueling his own arousal. He decided to take it even further as the deliberate moans he let out caused Y/N to whimper at how pleasurable the vibrations felt.

"T-tetsurou...!" She gasped, her insides tightening which signaled her fast-approaching release. Kuroo made no attempt to stop as the movement of his lips and tongue intensified, pushing her on the verge of coming. Her entire body began to tremble and it wasn't long before she finally climaxed, her upper body slumping forward as she struggled to regain her breathing.

Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, Kuroo swiftly stood and allowed Y/N to lean into his embrace, his hands stroking her hair as her breathing eventually evened. "You okay?"

"Y-yeah, thanks for that," she mumbled in embarrassment, her head pressed against his chest as she listened to his heartbeat, her eyelids gradually becoming heavier.

However, Kuroo was far from being done. He tipped up her chin, all traces of his earlier composure long gone from his face. "Sorry Y/N. We're not done yet. Not when you got me all worked up from that." He drew back and gently pulled her arm, his hands moving to provide support as she hopped down from the counter, her legs slightly wobbling. Her entire body still felt quite sensitive from the remnants of her earlier passion, yet she was eager for more.

His hands moved frantically as he turned Y/N around and pushed her down, her front pressing against the cool surface of the granite countertop. She heard Kuroo curse under his breath as he took in her new position, her face burning at how much more exposed she felt; yet, she couldn't deny the anticipation she felt for what's to come. "Hurry..."

"Shit, hold on...let me just-" Kuroo was frantic now, completely engulfed in his own desire as he reached for his pocket for a condom; he always kept one in hand for "emergency purposes", as he claimed. Holding the packet momentarily between his teeth, his fingers fumbled as he unbuckled and unbuttoned his slacks. Ripping the wrapper off with his teeth, he proceeded to put the condom on, positioning himself behind Y/N. He wrapped his arm around her waist to pull her close as his other hand held his throbbing length. "I'm going in."

He plunged himself deep, both of them moaning uncontrollably at the sensation of their joined bodies. Her insides were unbearably warm and tight, yet she still managed to take in the entirety of his shaft so easily. Snapping his hips forward, Kuroo let out a throaty groan as their position allowed him to reach even deeper parts inside of her. Completely overcome with his overwhelming need, he began thrusting wildly, his grip on her waist tightening.

Y/N grasped the edges of the countertop at the sheer force of his thrusts, her entire being staggering at how relentlessly Kuroo made love to her; but, she was not one to complain as she eventually moved her hips along with his, taking him even deeper than before.

"Shit...Y/N, you feel so good," Kuroo moaned, his teeth nibbling along her earlobe. It was during times like these when she and him indulged in each other that Kuroo strays from his usual composed and laid-back demeanor; she took pride in being able to witness and experience this completely different side of him.

Their lustful moans echoed throughout the apartment, yet despite her current state-of-mind, Y/N managed to recollect herself, well-aware of their neighbors risking on hearing them. She brought up her hand to her mouth to silence herself; however, Kuroo withheld her attempt to do so, too far gone to care about such matters.

"It's too late for that now. Don't hold yourself back, let me hear you." The unbearably seductive manner he had whispered those words fueled Y/N's desire ten-fold, and it wasn't long before she felt her incoming release as her insides tightened, eliciting a throaty groan from Kuroo.

"I-I'm close...Tetsurou...!" She began calling for him even louder then before. Gritting his teeth, Kuroo wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her to a standing position, the new angle allowing him to plunge himself even deeper. His release was fast-approaching as well, his mouth falling atop her shoulder to stifle the lewd noises he was making. Y/N reached up and grasped his hair to keep him in place, her hips moving urgently against his as he showered her neck and shoulders with kisses.

It was just too much to bear, the lustful noises she made intensifying at the sensations he invoked. Moaning out her name, Kuroo lifted her leg and increased his pace, the pleasure of their love-making pushing them on the verge of insanity as they eventually climaxed, Y/N's entire body slumping against his body. Their chests heaving, Kuroo brushed his lips against her cheek, carefully pulling out of her as he collected her languid form into his arms, both of them gradually coming down from their high.

"I love you," he murmured tenderly, his lips brushing against the top of her head.

"I love you, too." Y/N's hands grasped his blazer, glancing upwards to return his smile with her own, both of them in a state of euphoria. It was short-lived, however, as she immediately recollected herself, her panicked eyes darting around the kitchen. "Oh my god, the gratin! And the steak, it's probably oxidized by now...and the chocolate mousse! Only you got to eat it, Tetsurou, you idiot!"

Kuroo couldn't hold back his laughter as she scrambled around the kitchen to collect her discarded clothes, abruptly switching the oven off before moving to check on the remaining dishes of their long-forgotten date night dinner. However, he stopped her in her tracks as he gathered her once more into his embrace. "Before that, I think we should clean up the counter - and more importantly - ourselves first. Besides, even if you feed me burnt crap, I'd still be happy to eat anything you make."

He'd expect her to swoon over his words, yet she only shot him a narrowed look, her hands pushing against his chest. "Butter me up all you want, you're not escaping dish duty tonight."

Kuroo chuckled and watched in amusement as Y/N marched to their bathroom to take a shower, his hands reaching for a rag and disinfectant. He proceeded to wipe the countertop clean, the grin on his face widening as he did. "It was still worth a shot."

[holyjareau]

imo, the show was often unilaterally focused on Piper, but only on what she could do for others (Piper the wife and Piper the mother) rather than who she was as a person. Piper's individual characterization was lost sometime around s5 as soon as she got pregnant, and being a mother and wife pretty much became her sole defining characteristic for the rest of the series. I would be very interested to hear what you define as Piper's mental issues/trauma, bc as you say it doesn't get said enough

this has been in my inbox forever and i’m just getting around to it so my apologies.

but okay. so. yes. i think a lot of tv shows fall into this weird place where like. all of their characters begin with these kinda vague personalities because you’re just getting to know them. and as the show goes on, you pick up more pieces and stuff . and that’s great. that’s interesting and entertaining and it takes you on a journey and all. but often what happens is many shows fall into this pit where writers either get lazy, they change, or whatever, and the actors are tired of playing the part or whatever . and like. the characters become like. caricatures of themselves. and it just gets exhausting to watch because they’re not like. real people anymore.

Piper's individual characterization

so now for the charmed thing. so from the beginning. i have loved piper. like she’s the middle sister, overlooked, quiet, reserved, pessimistic but also realistic, gentle, thoughtful, all that. we see right away that she loves to cook .. she’s so happy her family is back together. she kept in touch with phoebe behind prue’s back. but she’s loyal to the both of them. her first idea was to have a reunion dinner when phoebe came home. she’s literally so cute n she deserves a hug. but no like. as we go on, we see that she wants to be good, she wants a stable life with no more loss, she Loves Love !! like. she wants to just be happy , open her own restaurant n just cook. she’s also so shy .. definitely panicky and anxious. and she doesn’t trust herself. she’s skeptical of everything, and she’s very thoughtful when it comes to big situations. even in the early days with leo and into season 2, she mentioned a few things about like “i’ve been thinking a lot about this...” and you can see she’s good at communicating with people. she’s also got these other dimensions to her like . she is interested in lots of cuisine types, she loves to read (and is a camus fan !!) , she drives a jeep (which i wanna know how she got bc i have questions), when she found out she was a witch her first thought was just . i need to go and see if i am still a good person . and she went to church. prue was surprised to learn that piper enjoys knitting. in the early seasons (especially mid-late season 3) we saw her with her plants and all. she’s just this natural peacekeeper. but like. we literally got a crying scene in the second episode because she was so conflicted about this. and she’s such a deep and complex character that i fell in love with so fast . and like . literally my favourite fictional character to exist . genuinely holly breathed so much life into piper . anyway . so. here’s the thing.

being a mother and wife pretty much became her sole defining characteristic for the rest of the series

like. piper was who i described above. and like . i kinda think . a bit. that like . the writers . especially in s4 . were like . hmm well  . she’s just lost prue, she’s gonna be grieving . and like we need more for her. so. she’s been married to leo for the better part of a year, been with him for like . 3 years. so. let’s maybe consider giving them a kid but not just yet . just Content kinda stuff. so anyway they drop little hints in here and there starting in like . 4x07 i think? which . brain drain really paid the rent . fully just. holly did so well. but like. that ep was just. a neat way of looking into her mind and seeing the horrors of manipulation and gaslighting and everything . and of course holly knocked it out of the park. but at that point, they were kinda like . hmm . kids ? and they started toying with the idea, having piper and leo consider it, talk about it, they had paige and phoebe ask about it , all of that good stuff. as you do. made for some funny tv at some points. and like . i really, really Get It . when piper’s like . ahh the baby wouldn’t be safe around here !!!! like. Girl, Valid . your sister just died and like . you went on forever about how she was The Most Powerful One . The Strongest One . and yet she still died . so she’s like ??? am i next ?? and like obv it doesn’t make sense for her to jump on this train of like . i’m gonna have a kid !!!! so she’s really valid in her thought process there. and like. after having wyatt . i think the writers really . idk. couldn’t do waaay too much with her character anymore because i feel like . to an extent, anything she does will be scrutinized bc i’m not just . saying this . i rlly feel like sometimes piper’s the easiest to hate. like idk why but i loved her. but anyway. if she stays at home with wyatt and doesn’t wanna fight demons n all . then she’s selfish towards her sisters n she’s awful n prue wouldn’t have let her do that !!!! etc . but if she fought demons it’s like . uh sweetie you have a child . really ??? why put yourself in a situation that might have you ending up like patty 2.0 ... bc i could do a Whole post on how patty’s situation messed piper up the most. but anyway.

it’s the way i’m fully rambling so if you’re reading this . i love you . anyway okay . so . i think in a tv show you’ve gotta kinda check boxes. the best tv shows have characters you see yourself in . you relate to them. you hear them and understand their decisions and actions and thoughts. the things they do just makes sense 2 you. so like. with prue, anyone married to their job could relate to her. any oldest sibling could see themselves in her, you know ? she was hard-working, committed, logical, protective. and with phoebe, anyone who couldn’t “settle down” in their early 20s related 2 her, anyone who felt like the outcast of the family, the “screw-up” .. right. makes sense. she was so kind, caring, had-your-back kinda girl. we all love those. paige was like . the new kid, trying to fit in, creative, curious, and definitely a lifelong learner. and then there’s piper who was shy, resistant, really just wanted to be normal. and loved. and i think everyone could kinda identify with at least one of the sisters regardless of where you stood in your own family. so as the show went on, it’s like . they still want you to keep watching and keep being able to identify with them because it’s not like they’re humans with normal lives so they’ve already kinda lowkey got that going against them . so their more “human” and normal lives... we’ve gotta be able to identify with them to be able to invest time. so they had prue always working, having trouble balancing love and work, looking out for her family. we had phoebe kinda living her life, getting her career going, then kinda wanting a family. we had paige learning magic and being super interested and involved and then getting married. and we had piper who had her career pretty early on, got married, and had kids. like. i think the big thing is the marriage and kids. and when you’re a mother . the only mother really in the show, the show lowkey centres around you . like. for starters, the show usually is in the manor, and if you’re a mother, you’re very likely at home, esp with young kids. so i think that alone kinda was like . huh yeah . won’t see piper out waaay too much anymore i guess !!! but no like . there’s That. that’s kinda. the thing that really can’t change with the show . like. piper’s got kids now and a husband and very, very likely . her life will be centred around her home. which. listen she’s wanted that i think - the stability . she’s wanted that forever. and this is the form it came in. but i should stop rambling here and cut to the point .

Piper's mental issues/trauma

disclaimer: i’m not diagnosing her, i’m just speculating based off of my own experiences with mental health

so. okay. very early on. we saw that anxiety. like. yes . she was nervous about like a whole new life experience . or whatever we’re gonna call it when you figure out you’re a witch . but like she was Anxious . like. crying in the attic over being a bad person . needing phoebe to talk her down by telling her she’s such a caring person, she’s always doing things for other people . and then there’s the whole anxiety that comes with. my family’s falling apart because my sisters are fighting so i use really awkward methods of getting out of things . like using humour as a coping mechanism !!! which. gave us some iconic one-liners. but that’s beside the point . anyway. point is. early on, that anxiety was there. there’s an ep in season 1 where she’s literally entering a panic attack in her kitchen and phoebe’s using a menu to cool her down. like. Yikes! and then she’s just. her awkward self around everyone but that’s endearing and is just part of her personality . and i think a lot of the anxiety stemmed from childhood. we heard a few times about how prue and phoebe had boyfriends growing up, were always pretty and popular and all. phoebe was popular, too, just, in the other crowd. but nonetheless, piper faded into the background, doing well in math - well enough to go off and be a banker . and like. she sacrificed a lot for grams. she stayed in san francisco ... we all know the girl had the marks for stanford or something . like. though . still, i think she liked the stability of home and prob would’ve stayed . but in 3x17 she’s all !!! grams !!! the doctor said no caffeine !!! and when grams was taking the pic of them outside and she had an episode , piper was all !!!! shallow breaths !!! like. it was clear piper was the one taking her to the appointments and footing the bill. like. she literally became a banker just bc it had benefits n stuff. like. poor girl really thought . anyway that’s a whole spiral. but no. like she really sacrificed The Most for her family and everyone still thought she was selfish for wanting to move out . when like back then grams was literally ... sick ... and prue was out here moving out and phoebe was nowhere to be found . so. that . definitely would have added to her anxiety about even wanting to do anything for herself because she’ll be perceived as selfish in a heartbeat. even if it’s not Mean . it’s just. she’d never risk it. but there’s the anxiety. there are a few lil things here n there about how she gets nervous n stuff, she represses things (3x07 i think was where phoebe said piper represses her anger n just sucks it up n does whatever) . she literally cancelled her doctor’s appointment Twice . anyway. it still angers me. then in season 7 . patty and victor were like . oh she had night terrors that were so bad we took her to the doctor ! and i just ... honey . baby. she thought she caused the divorce. at 4? 5? she watched victor leave on her 5th birthday, watched a demon attack her, grams, and victor. prue said she didn’t cry at patty’s funeral and i’ll make a safe bet that piper did. and i think growing up without patty was strange for sure. prue had more memories and phoebe had none. and piper had fragments of this person everyone loved . and she was stuck between knowing her and not knowing her. and when patty was sent to her for her wedding day, (as well as in 1x17) . both times when patty hugged them . prue and phoebe hugged her, eyes closed n all. while piper was on the outside, eyes open . looking numb as all hell . and you know. i rlly think she was Giving Them That because phoebe didn’t get her and prue kinda . in a way. lost more of her . if that makes sense ?? and i just. patty really was like . they sent me to You. and 5 seconds later . piper’s like . they sent mom to Us !!! and it’s that idea of sacrifice and never having anything for yourself because she was never just . given anything for herself . everything in her life has been a sacrifice and as a mother, that’s perpetuated. she can assume that role with more of a purpose . like. people won’t really feel sorry for her now as the “forgotten” sister, they won’t try and coddle her or anything. and another thing. control. piper craved stability and control. i think while cooking was something she loved, it also gave her a lot of control . she could control her whole kitchen . even in season 8 .. maybe vaya con leos actually . leo mentioned how much piper craves control. and the control motif makes sense with her powers too. like. piper craved control so much that her powers allowed her to control things down to the atom. so there’s the whole anxiety and needing to control things to ease her anxiety and all. there’s That whole thing.

and then we get to the infamous season 5 fearless spell . ms girl really sat in the attic just writing everything on the wall and it’s the way i screenshotted it and like . zoomed in and tried deciphering it . and like . there’s words like “stop” and i think “sister” is in there a few times, so is “loss” or “lost”. when i watch it next i’ll grab a cap because it’s . disturbing. girl was so scared . literally was writing a spell to get rid of her fears . she also writes Fear . as in. capital F . and like. yeah that’s deep but i do it too like i emphasize words with a capital letter . and like holly marie combs might just have quirky n fun writing but like ... capital F . for Fear. for real . that’s . trauma !!! and she also was having panic attacks at the beginning of season 5. let’s not forget those. which ... we should’ve gotten more of an explanation for . i hope that girl is getting help bc she was Going Through It . and in season 7 when zankou reads her diary . firstly. we Knew this girl kept a diary like . for Sure . she did. and just that little excerpt of when prue died . oops. i’d pay big money to see the rest because again i just think she’s got such a complex mind and like. i’d be so interested to read that. and i think everything re: prue is just Awful for her. like . idk if this is just something quirky i noticed but obv we know prue died in may 2001 . but at the end of 4x03, when piper goes 2 paige’s work 2 bring her muffins !! soft !!! the calendar on one of the desks reads july 2001 ... and i really just. ms girl. i Know they prob just filmed the ep in july but it honestly tracks that she’d be so awfully upset about everything and just . barely able to do anything but cook . for 2 months. like. honey. baby. i wanted 2 just cuddle her bc she was so sad. and like. she tells paige she’s having “good hours” and “not so good hours” . she’s going by the Hour . by the Hour . just. need i say more . i’m so . but no like. if anything like i could see her having like . depression where she’s high-functioning and like just . walking depression i guess ?? like . not even after prue. i think in general. like . she definitely has a melancholic temperament and a type 6 enneagram (the skeptic). that’s For Sure . but i think. just. she’s always just had time to think bc she’s always alone, reading, knitting, cooking, tending to her plants, all that. and i just . think. she has issues. and i think prue knew that. of all people. and i think her knowing that . and then dying. destroyed piper. she lost the last person that was truly a constant in her life . like they shared a roof over their heads forever. and then she was just . gone . and piper was suddenly left to pick up the pieces . and become the oldest sister . and i’m So glad she didn’t fully assume her personality. i’m glad she stayed as piper . just. she’s more cynical and snarky and defensive and cold and that’s okay. she’s hurting. she’s always gonna hurt . and i think it makes her human . she’s pessimistic and sad and has a short fuse at times . but just. again. i love her to bits and i think those issues make her more relatable for me. because while many like to say she became selfish and a negative person and just . awful to be around . i’d say the opposite . i won’t sit and apologize or justify things. also i don’t think piper’s done anything wrong . i just think she’s hurt. she’s been wronged so many times. and she’s .... scared. i think she’s scared . and in season 5 “sympathy for the demon” we learn her true biggest fear is her happiness being stolen away. and like . it’s not that she’s scared she won’t be happy. she’s scared all of the good she’s got will be taken from her . and that’s . terrifying . so . i see why she’s so snarky and bitter and tired and all . she’s terrified of things being taken from her like they have been her whole life. and as i watch the show i really like to just keep that in mind as i get further and further in because yes. she did become a mother and a wife and we saw her arguing with leo a lot and their marriage falling apart and That Whole Era . we saw how it kind of took over her life but i think it happens . i think she even said at one point . i’ve been so many things to so many people, i don’t know who i am anymore . and i think it sums her up perfectly. she doesn’t know who she is because she’s someone to everyone . she’s just. nobody to herself except this scared little girl who just wants Something . Anything . to make sense . some Stability . and her babies, her husband, and her sisters . are all she has for that idea of stability to make sense in her mind. and it was an easy hole to fall into - the Mother - but i think she jumped in. because at the Very Least . nobody could take that title away from her . regardless of how hard they tried .

[ravs6709]

i'm not sure if you're still accepting requests, but if you are, could you do a Biana and Sophie friendship fic? Maybe where they're baking together? I love your writing! <3

At the time of this ask, yes, I am accepting requests (though not anymore)! And thank you, I'm glad you enjoy it!

Tbh, this was a challenge, esp since I've already made a Sophiana one-shot with baking (except romantic), so this is a little different?

This one's a human au, and while it has baking, it's not really too big of a focus. Hope you don't mind that! This oneshot, their relationship is less defined, because its just them.

So woo, request 3 of 4 is down, now I just gotta finish that platonic Marellinhiana one.

Enjoy!

•~•~•~•~•~•

Labels (Or The Lack Of Them)- Platonic Sophiana

It was in high school when Sophie had been asked the question for the first time.

"Are you and Biana dating?"

It'd been Fitz who'd first asked the question.

"No, why?"

He shrugged. "Just wondering."

It actually did get Sophie thinking. She'd always considered Biana to be absolutely gorgeous, but that was it, she was pleasing to the eye, she didn't want to date her though.

She wondered why other people thought that they were dating.

•~•~•~•~•~•

"Hey Soph, you there?" Biana called out.

"Bi, where do you think that I would have gone?"

She laughed. "True. Okay, I'm coming out now."

"You already did?" Sophie knew she was talking about the dressing room, but couldn't help but make the joke anyway.

Biana opened the door. "I can do it again." She walked out, and spun around. "Sophie I'm lesbian. Now tell me if I look good."

Biana was wearing a light purple dress that suited her.

"Absolutely stunning."

"Great! I'll buy it, and now you won't have to suffer anymore."

"Good. Hurry up then."

A few minutes later, the dress had been paid for, and they left the store. They linked arms and walked over to the food court.

"I thought you didn't like this place?" Sophie asked.

"Last time we came here you said you liked their tea, so I'm buying it for you."

"Ooh, you remembered?"

She rolled her eyes, using her non-dominant hand to pull out her purse so their arms could stay linked. "Vanilla caramel, two sugar, one cream."

"Bi, you're spoiling me. You even remembered my tea order."

"Who do you think I am, if not your best friend?"

•~•~•~•~•~•

There was a sleepover at Biana's, and all of them were there. While the couches there were gigantic, it was barely enough for all of them to cram. Tired of being squished, Sophie got up and went to Biana.

"Is your lap available?"

Biana smiled, then pat her legs. "Yeah, sit down."

She sat down, and it was a lot more comfortable than her previous position. They sat there and watched the remainder of whatever movie had been chosen- she couldn't remember what it was called.

"This might be a bit personal, but are the two of you dating?" This time, it was Marella who had asked it.

The two of them looked at each other. "We aren't," they replied in unison.

"This is the second time that I've been asked that," Sophie remarked.

"Oh, really?" Biana asked. "That's weird, I thought you all would have realized that we're not like that."

"To be honest, I can kind of see why they asked," Linh said. "I mean, we're all really affectionate with each other, but you two are just the closest. But if that's not the case, then it's fine."

"I'm just more comfortable with Biana, I guess?" Sophie shrugged. "I wouldn't be able to explain it or anything like that."

"That's fair."

•~•~•~•~•~•

"Bi, you're picking at your nails, what's wrong?"

Biana looked at her fingers, and the movement stopped abruptly. "I didn't even realize I was doing that. Nothing's wrong."

"You usually do it when you're nervous about something. It's summer break, so it's not about school or anything. Uni?"

"I'm nervous, I guess, but it's not really a bad thing. But it's not really related to uni. You're going to the same one as me anyway, so I'm not worried about that."

Sophie smiled, leaning over to put an arm on her shoulder. "Well, you don't have to tell me now or anything."

Biana froze, and Sophie nearly fell over, but she was caught. "I was thinking..."

The brunette was usually able to articulate her words easily, so it was odd seeing her hesitate. It almost made her nervous.

"I was thinking... my parents are buying me a little apartment near the uni, and I wanted to know if you would like to move in with me."

Whatever negative feeling Sophie had started to feel dissipated, and was replaced with euphoria. "Absolutely! I definitely want to move in with you!"

Biana smiled. "That's what I thought, but just wanted to make sure."

•~•~•~•~•~•

To be honest, the idea of going to university did scare Sophie, but once the first day came, it didn't feel too bad. She was still nervous, yeah, but she woke up to Biana making good food, and that was always a nice way to start the day.

"You have another class nearly right after, right?" Biana asked, after they'd both gotten ready.

"Yeah."

"I made lunch for you, so you don't have to buy lunch." She held up a paper bag that had a container and spoon.

"Bi, I love you. Thank you." She took the bag, and used her other hand to pull Biana towards her. She stood on her tiptoes, then planted a light kiss on Biana's forehead.

She turned to leave, only to be spun back around.

"Hey, my turn." Biana kissed her forehead. "Good luck!"

As Sophie walked out of the apartment door, all she could feel was lucky.

•~•~•~•~•~•

"Bi, you're late," Sophie greeted with a pout.

"Trains, y'know? Had delays."

"Ugh, hate when that happens," she groaned. "The waiter asked if I was waiting for my boyfriend, and when I said no, asked about a girlfriend."

"At least they were inclusive?"

"Guess you're right about that."

The waiter came to take their order, but Sophie ordered for both of them. They sat down and waited.

"Y'know Soph, what exactly are we? We aren't just normal best friends, are we?"

Sophie shrugged. "I guess you're right about that. But does it really matter what exactly we are? You're just... you, someone I want to spend my life with."

"I blame the trashy romance movies."

"I can't really see a life without you," Biana admitted. "I get exactly what you mean. I guess the labels don't really matter, do they?"

She laughed. "Fair."

•~•~•~•~•~•

They were in the kitchen, trying to bake some desserts. Trying was the key word.

"Soph please, stop stealing all the chocolate chips!"

"N'ver," she said, chewing on a handful of them.

"Soph, I will throw flour at you."

"That's wasting the ingredients tho-" she yelped as she dodged the flour.

"Put down the bowl Soph, and maybe I'll give you some more."

An offer like that made her conflicted, but she relented and gave the bowl back to Biana. After mixing some more of the ingredients together, Biana turned to her, some more chocolate chips in her hand.

"Take them."

Sophie walked over to her, then carefully took her hand and brought it to her face. "Feed me."

"Really?" But she ended up feeding her anyway.

"It was either that, or I eat straight from your hand. I think you picked the better option."

Biana laughed. "Whatever option I picked that let you in my life was the better option."

"Oh my god Biana that was so cheesy."

But Sophie felt the exact same way, and instead of giving a reply, she just gave her a forehead kiss. Besides, she knew that Biana understood what she had meant.

•~•~•~•~•~•

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[katierosefun]

okay y’all i re-listened to the entirety of evermore at like 2 am and went to bed at 3 am so this isn’t really coherent but here we are, qeued up to go,,,so here are my thoughts w/ evermore + tcw because y’all k n o w 

1. willow -- strong anidala vibes. taylor swift herself said something about how this song is all about the complexities of desire and. yeah. it shows. // “wherever you stray, i follow” and “i know my train could take you home” and “the more that you say the less i know” and “wherever you stray i follow” and “that’s my man ;)” 

2. champagne problems -- strong sad obitine vibes, which @kckenobi screamed about to me last night and i wholeheartedly agree. big vibes of having to leave a relationship because you have to and also...just sad. might have made me cry and my heart feel empty. def. something on repeat. // “your heart was glass, i dropped it” and “your hometown skeptics called it champagne problems” and “you had a speech, you’re speechless” and “how evergreen our group of friends, don’t think we’ll say that word again” and “one for the money, two for the show, i never was ready, so i watched you go” 

3. gold rush -- okay big anakin or obi-wan vibes. both? both. this is kinda a stretch but. just the feeling of watching these big heroic figures walk around and quietly wonder about huh. who are they anyways. // “everybody wonders what it would be like to love you” and “i don’t like slow motion, double vision in rose blush” and “my mind turns your life into folklore” 

4. ‘tis the damn season -- big anakin and ahsoka vibes, esp. during season 7 help. all about going back to your hometown and kinda wanting to reunite with someone but also knowing that is a bad idea. yes i am sad. // “and it always leads to you and my hometown” and “i won’t ask you to wake if you don’t ask me to stay” and “and wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles i’m faking” and “we could call it even, even though i’m leaving” yeah i’m not okay either 

5. tolerate it -- big sad anakin and obi-wan vibes, and i’ll explain. idk. vibes of just. anakin mayhaps thinking that obi-wan doesn’t care/love him to the same extent anakin thinks he himself does. help. don’t talk to me about this this is my new exile and it shows because i’ve been listening to this on repeat. // “i wake and watch you breathing with your eyes closed” and “you’re so much older and wiser” and “i wait by the door like i’m just a kid, use my best colors for your portrait” and “tell me i got it wrong somehow” and “i know my love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it” and “always taking up too much space or time”, and @kckenobi pointed out that the bridge onwards is from obi-wan’s perspective after rots help “leave us in ruins, take this dagger in me and removed it” and “gained the weight of you and lose it, believe me i could do it” no i’m not okay

6. no body, no crime -- ngl this is a tricky one. this probably belongs in some convoluted au in which padme and ahsoka snap and murder palpatine or something which. you know. i’m kinda down for that. // “i’ve cleaned up enough houses to cover up a scene” that’s all you need to know *aggressive side-eye*

7. happiness -- big, big, big disaster lineage vibes. anakin and obi-wan, anakin and ahsoka, whichever. big sad. all about having really bittersweet memories. “i hurt you, you hurt me, but we had good memories”. // “haunted by the look in my eyes that would have loved you for a lifetime” and “tell me when your winning smile began to look like a smirk?” and “when did all our lessons start to look like weapons pointed at my deepest hurt?” and “there’ll be happiness after me, but there was happiness because of me” and “i can’t make it go away by making you a villain” and “in our history, across our great divide, there is a great sunrise” gives me so much hope??? mayhaps our tcw trio could....could reunite and have a happy ending please 

8. dorothea -- this is also kinda a reach, but i see this is like the other side of anakin and ahsoka vibes in ‘tis the damn season. kind of seen from the perspective of someone who’s seeing someone come back to the hometown and ‘oh huh she’s different’ but like. still cares about you, you know? which is very anakin and ahsoka vibes season 7. // “it’s never too late to come back to my side” and “you know, you’ll always know me” and “but are you still the same soul i met under the bleachers?” 

9. coney island -- honestly about anyone with anakin. :( it’s just. really sad. destroying something delicate vibes. // “did i shatter you?” and “sorry for not making you my centerfold” and “disappointments, close your eyes” and “but you were too polite to leave me” 

10. ivy -- more anidala vibes, tbh? again, stuff about illicit affairs kinda. cheerful but lyrics are not, actually. idk the metaphorical thing that both anakin and padme are already married to are the order and the senate, obvs. // “i’d live and die for moments that we stole on begged and borrowed time” and “it’s a war, it’s the goddamn fight of my life, and you started it” and “i can’t stop you putting roots in my dreamland” 

11. cowboy like me -- obitine and/or anidala vibes, i know. never thought i would talk about cowboys to them,,,but the vibes. // “you had some tricks up your sleeves” and “takes one to know one” and “we could be the way forward and i know i’ll pay for it” and “and the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up” 

12. long story short -- big obi-wan vibes, also big ahsoka vibes. // “pushed off the precipice, clung to the nearest lips” and “long story short, it was the wrong guy” and “no more tug of war, now i just know there’s more” and “past me, i wanna tell you not to get lost in these petty things” and “your nemeses will defeat themselves before you get the chance to swing” and “i fell from the pedestal” and the transition from “long story short, it was a bad time” to “long story short, i survived” 

13. marjorie -- big obi-wan and anakin vibes. i think this song is actually about taylor’s grandmother but right now all i could think of bittersweet anakin and obi-wan help // “if i didn’t know better, i’d think you were still around” and “what died didn’t stay dead” and “you’re alive, you’re alive in my head” and “i should’ve asked you questions” 

14. closure -- big anakin vibes w/ lineage fam. just. angry ex vibes. of someone who just doesn’t want anything to do with you anymore. asdfsdfs this is ironic but like. yeah. that was the closest i could think of. mayhaps a stretch but there’s some connecting lyrics. // “don’t treat me like a situation that needs to be handled” and “i’m fine with my spite and my tears” and “i know i’m just a wrinkle in your new life” and “guilty, guilty reaching across the sea that you put between you and me” (this is gonna hit hard if kenobi series speculation is correct and we get obi-wan trying to bring anakin back for one last time)

15. evermore -- honestly gives me obi-wan vibes. // “i replay my footsteps on each stepping stone, trying to find the one where i went wrong” and “this pain would be for evermore” and “can’t remember what i used to fight for” and “i thought of you in the cracks of light, i dreamed of you” but then it transitions from “this pain would be for evermore” to “this pain wouldn’t be for evermore” and ladies and gentlemen, we call that growth and hope!!!