#this is not about Travis specifically because I found it weird when they did it with Joe too

[thepalmofyourfreezinghand]

.

[crayonverse]

details bout michael n eins dynamic. 2 me (cw physical/emotional abuse, cannibalism, suicide/suicidal idealizations, ableism, self-harm)

michael only refers to himself as eins father when he wants ein to do something, any other time hes just michael .

lets ein not refer to him as sir to make him feel more "special" .

after eins mom broke up w zack she sorta got a bit. out of it. she started neglecting ein and she became depressed. The First Step in ein distrusting others bc his mother stopped paying attention 2 him. michael used a small amount of his magic to control her and make her drown herself in the kitchen sink and then kidnapped ein, making it look like she had killed herself and ein had ran away. .

just as a small thing of me hcing ein as a transguy, michael named him ein bc the meaning of "ian" (which is what his name is just spelled weird) is "God is Gracious" as a constant reminder that michael "saved" ein. .

ein wasnt tested on w forever potions (in the early stages w the other kids) because michael absolutely could not let Zack know he had his other stupid kid. when ein found out about the testing he was extremely upset bc he wasnt "special enough" for it. picture ein 6 years old begging for medical malpractice to be used on him .

he was tested later but as a teen when michael got out, since he didnt have access to the other children. although he wasn't able to use the full potions since he didnt have access to emeralds at the moment, so he used diluted versions of the potions that weren't as powerful via syringes. ein gets a fear needles from it .

when michael n the other two idiots were locked in the pocket dimension ein went through a brief depressive period bc the One Guy he (thought) cared about him disappeared. when michael did get out he didnt tell ein immediately bc he . doesnt like ein but when he found out ein got arrested he told ein that he should stay in jail for a few months to "learn his lesson" .

slightly unrelated but when michael wanted him out of jail he also wanted ein to disappear off the radar so he faked eins death in jail. originally he wanted ein to die in like a riot but ein, sensing an opportunity, asked for it to say he killed himself instead. the opportunity being aphmau half way into her uni course looking up her old high school bullies to see what theyre up to and just finding out ein is Fucking Dead .

the potions michael uses on ein are mainly magic power related (like eins Green Laser) because he likes manipulating ein into doing things rather than using his magic because its "more fun" .

michael subconsciously views ein as his actual son (mcd travis) bc he feels like "this one is a better son" or whatever .

not a specific thing but mother knows best reprise from tangled is a Viewpoint on their dynamic 2 me .

ein is internally scared of michael but he never verbally says that and if anyone asks him if he is he denies it immediately bc he doesnt want pity. you can see it in his eyes though. elizabeth is really the only other person who mentions it but she mostly uses it to make fun of ein because she "doesnt think its that bad" (<- she is unaware) .

bc of michael ein absolutely hates unwarranted physical touch. he reacts violently if anyone grasps his shoulder from behind or touches his upper arms. the only touch he usually allows is people lightly touching his hair/head bc he still registers it as headpats (grabbing his hair usually results in him biting) .

michael usually physically threatens or abuses ein to reprimand him but sometimes he throws ein into the Metaphorical Torture Box for entertainment .

basically most of the things michael does to ein is for his own amusement .

he also heavily dehumanizes ein to convince him to do evil acts, rationalizing it to him as "you arent a person so is it really that bad??" ein does not view himself as an actual person at this point more so as a nameless soldier, a weapon, etc .

i used this for an old fic n stuff too but also michael makes ein commit cannibalism to forcibly dehumanize him more. he wants to make ein feel entirely disconnected from humanity (like michael feels for himself) so ein will basically be a "mini michael" .

ein also consciously copies michaels mannerisms/speech. only really elizabeth n zack notice it however and it just fucking freaks zack the hell out (elizabeth is also freaked out by it but mostly ignores it) .

theres just a general theme of a loss of control for ein in general. he gets a small allowance from michael and hes not allowed out overnight, all his communication is usually internally with the researchers or guardian forces. most of the time ein self isolates from them, viewing them as beneath him and michael. when they try to talk to him its a 50/50 whether he'll tell them to fuck off or he'll hiss at them .

another specific detail is pre s4 ein fucked up a potion and instead of his usual reprimand, michael used pliers to defang ein. in his head its the one thing ein can't rationalize about michaels actions (the one "seed of doubt" he has). he usually makes excuses for michael's actions towards him but being defanged is the only one he struggles with since he knows that michael knows how important his wolf side is to him .

pre s5 and just like at the end of s5 (when ein was seen on the bridge) he was going through another depressive episode bc he missed his ears and tail. he was mainly just going through the motions of his daily life but he was barely holding on. michael repeatedly discouraged ein from committing because the plan would be messed up because of it (michael said that directly to him) and he would imply that ein would be a traitor if he went through with it. .

michael actually flipped between discouraging and encouraging ein to commit to see what he would do. .

he's caught ein self-harming before, w ein attempting to either drown or smother himself. michael doesnt like doing this regularly but most of the time he lets ein hug him so he feels "comforted". other times michael just scolds him and tells him to not do it again. .

i also hc ein as a low empathy autistic (bc # me) and he used to stim very openly and loudly but michael disliked that part of him so he "trained" ein to not stim in public which just results in him being constantly overstimulated, a contributor to Ein being fucking mad all the time. hes like a hair trigger away from a meltdown at all times .

the only method of stimming ein can usually get away w is when he scratches his arms/scabs. unfortunately he doesn't trim his claws and it usually results in ein making himself bleed or reopening scars. michael has attempted to get him to stop doing this but its pretty much a compulsion for ein at this point.

[raraeavesmoriendi]

I just finished last night and I have some questions for people who have read mike bockoven’s fantasticland -

[for those who have not:

- take a climate change-charged hurricane that’s the worst noaa has seen in recent memory and the first to hit daytona beach since 1960

- throw it at a Not-Disney-World Florida theme park with major national nostalgia, where a bunch of the Not-Disney College Program kids and some adult staff have opted to get paid extra to stay inside the park through the storm to prevent looting

- watch as people trapped within the park for more than a month - still with plenty of food and water, mind you - lose their minds, fragment into factions, and begin going full battle royale/lord of the flies on each other

- tell the whole thing testimonial style with different witnesses interviewed each chapter, a la World War Z, with some insanely unreliable narrators to boot

if that sounds like your kind of horror novel, give it a go. it’s not perfect (especially when they call the factions ‘tribes,’ which. yikes.) but I tore through it in like, two days.]

okay, questions below, spoilers for the novel:

1. …is the pirate who comforted the little boy who was evacuating, in interview three with the kansas city dad, Brock Hockley? am I reading too much into that?

like. I don’t remember that we ever get a description of him, so I don’t know about the “weird beard/mustache thing” the dad describes, but just. the emphasis put on “I’d like to shake his hand. I might even give him a hug.” feels so purposeful. part of me wonders if that’s supposed to add some further hindsight horror to what happened in the park and then his prison interview. he says early that he found making little kids happy a fulfilling and rewarding part of his job as a character actor in the park, and we know other people found him charismatic enough to follow, not just because they were scared but bc he could have these moments of surface-level charm or rationality (the code, etc.)

idk, I just thought it felt a bit too one-off to read it as Just Some Guy. but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I could be wrong.

2. we never get any hint as to the identity of the warthog couple, right? I remember the FNG found their masks discarded outside the World Circus, they’re first mentioned in the book as hanging around/inside the circus, and the guy from the Dreamland Hotel interview talks about still getting postcards from them whenever he moves (scariest part of the whole book for me ngl), so we can assume they were walked out with the rest of the survivors. I just wasn’t sure if there was anything else to do with them that I missed.

I’m still thinking about the fact that they turned the Dreamland lobby into a torture theater. like… who was that for? just for them, or did they have an audience? probably not, right? since they weren’t affiliated with anyone? but still. also, who were they taking there, just people they could pick off???

hmm. I wonder if any casualties thought to be faction-related were actually theirs.

3. in Travis’s interview (the guy with the body camera), do we know who the girl is that they found in the crawlspace of the employee locker room? the one whispering “Mommy” over and over? there were enough survivors left that she could be someone we didn’t encounter before, but I just thought I’d check that there wasn’t some other interview where someone describes a girl running off to hide. the Anonymous shopgirl mentioned one of the girls disappeared during the cannon raid on Pirate turf with the Deadpool soldiers before they turned on each other, so I wondered if it could be her.

4. Brock in his interview mentions that Sam Garlieck’s people were terrorizing others during the power outage in the storm shelter, specifically mentioning an instance of sexual assault. does anyone else corroborate this in their interview? Adam Jakes sounds skeptical, saying his research would have turned that up by now, but the only people we really hear from about that period are Sam himself (obviously an unreliable narrator, like, duh) and Stuart Dietz, who mentioned that Sam definitely killed Maria Flynn. did anyone see any other mentions of this anywhere, or did we just move straight out of the storm shelters and never talk about them again once we get to the park? is this just Brock being an unreliable narrator himself to justify how things went down? (but then why would he need to be, when Bryce definitely died?? although he himself says that wasn’t as big a motivator as people writing about him want it to be, so maybe that’s moot)

5. not really a question just an observation: Stuart Dietz, the maintenance guy/Mole Man, is the only person to get two interviews in the entire novel. Not Sam, not Jill, not Brock. I don’t know, I just find that really interesting why he was selected to come back twice. I know part of it is to describe the botched demolition, but I’m also wondering what effect it has on the novel that the only person we hear from multiple times is an older dude from one of the pointedly non-aggressive factions.

6. in looking through posts already in the tag, I don’t quite follow some readers’ comments that there was an attempt at a “cell phones bad!!” message here. I feel like every time it’s come up, it’s been shown by Adam Jakes (author stand-in) to be minimizing what really happened and looking for an easy scapegoat. I don’t think that was part of the intended story at all, I think it’s just been stated over and over as people using an excuse to not think themselves capable of similar violence. just wanted to put that out there.

anyway. one of my favorite things about novels with multi-witness perspectives is finding threads that leave off in one person’s story and pick up in another, so I’m going through my digital copy and highlighting all the places two different interviews tie together (Austin’s fate, the guy who botched branding Adrienne as part of his Pirate initiation, etc.)

if anyone else has noticed anything interesting, I’m all ears 👀

[stxleslyds]

NIGHTWING VS HUSH

I did read it and I loved it! In fact, I loved it so much that when the trade came to my country, I bought it even though its cover has Joker and Harley in it (and I do not like any of them). Travis Moore’s art might be one of the biggest factors of my love for that issue but many things from it were just right!

First of all, it was really nice to see both Dick and Clark being presented as the closest friends to Bruce, because they were the ones coming up with his bachelor party. I am always here for Clark and Dick content! It even got better when we were told that Dick came up with the idea for the “party”, Bruce seemed really happy and content with that pocket dimension where basically the only thing that he could do was do some fishing. It just seemed adorable to me.

Hush as a villain can sometimes come off as boring but I think they did something really good and interesting when Hush and Dick found themselves stranded in a creepy dimension.

While I will always see Dick and Bruce as a son/father duo I also really like the idea of Dick and Bruce being friends as Dick grew up. And because of that I really enjoyed Hush feeling especially mad at Dick for having “taken” his place in Bruce’s life.

Dick is written beautifully, he is serious and doesn’t let Hush play games with him. I love it. I would have loved to see more of this Dick Grayson, you know? The perfect mix between adorable, kind, sweet, badass, serious and smart.

This issue, brings to light in very subtle ways how much of a good man Dick is. He is just the best and in this issue he proves it more than once, when he knows exactly what Bruce would like for his “party”, when he carries Hush’s body to safety even though it was very far away and Hush continuously threatened to kill him...

When that guy decides to help them by saying that they needed to go “somewhere that reflects where your identity is strong and distinct” and Dick chooses Wayne Manor I feel like that was a clever decision. (It wouldn't be the first place that comes to mind for Dick specifically but he needed a place for both of them to be strong).

As Dick explains to Hush why he brought them there, Hush begins to question why Nightwing knows so much about him and why would Wayne Manor could be of help to Nightwing himself. Dick really makes Hush loose his cool completely and I like to think that he had thought that would happen.

When Hush unmasks Nightwing, Dick isn’t troubled at all, he is all cool and ready because he knows exactly what to say. And he destroys Hush by telling him exactly what he doesn’t want to hear.  He tells Hush the truth, that even when Hush was just Tommy, he was never truly there for Bruce, he tried so hard to be like him that he forgot to be there for his friend, and that’s why as time passed Tommy and Bruce became more and more estranged.

If I weren’t already in love with the writing in this book, the twist that Dan Abnett gives us next would have made me go insane out of love for this story.

This might be me, but Hush revealing that he transformed his face to be an exact copy of Dick’s only proves that Dick is the MVP in the Bat-Clan (Dick-Family rise up!). Hush literally says that what he wanted “to go back to being his (Bruce’s) best friend again. So, I did it. Mr. Grayson. I practiced my art... I’ve become you, Dick Grayson”

Hush wanted to be important to Bruce again so he “became” Dick Grayson, that validates every theory/idea that we have had that Dick is Bruce’s (as well as others) support system and safety net. “His true confidant. Always there. His best friend.”

Dick Grayson’s power!!! Listen, I don’t care about Bruce and Dick’s relationship all that much, I still think that Bruce is a horrible father but my love for this book has nothing to do with Bruce, it has everything to do with how important Dick is written out to be for Bruce. How much value Dick’s love and they way that he cares for people has. In very few pages this story gives me (and maybe other readers) back that feeling of Dick being represented as the absolute best thing that happened to Batman and DC comics.

I know, it sounds like I am hyping up the story way too much but that how I felt when I first read it and I, right now, can only agree with my past self.

Anyway, let me go back to the issue, after Hush reveals his new face those scary faceless things get in Wayne Manor but Bruce also manages to open the dimension rift back up.

And here Dick shows us once more how much of a good man he is, he not only tries to reach for Hush as he is being attacked by those weird people but after he crosses the rift he asks if Hush was able to make it back with him! I mean, this man is just too precious!

Now comes the kinda sad but also adorable part, when Dick wakes up after having passed out in Bruce’s arms (when he went through the rift) he hears Bruce and Clark talking and that’s when he finds out that Clark will be Bruce’s best man at his wedding.

Travis Moore, I love you. His Dick Grayson is pretty, yes, but it is also full of emotion, his eyes are full of hurt but he still manages to look soft as if to hide how hurt it makes him that Bruce didn’t choose him. I love it, have I said that before?

And when Dick notices that he made Bruce feel uncomfortable he does his best to make him comfortable again! His eyes and his body language change... Travis Moore is a master at drawing emotions in characters and how those emotions change, it is honestly impressive, if someone doesn’t like the plot of this issue, the art, I am sure, makes up for it!

Dick looks so soft and relaxed, he even apologizes for things that aren’t his fault, he goes out of his way to make sure Bruce doesn’t feel bad for not choosing him as his best man and then procedes to tell Bruce that he would like to like to hang out with him as soon as he can because he felt guilty about them having distanced from one another.

I know, him blaming himself for things that aren’t his fault and him trying to comfort others when he didn’t do anything wrong to begin with, isn’t something that should be praised (and I am not doing that) but it’s in character for him. It is, because he is selfless and wants his family to be happy and comfortable.

(Just to be clear, I don’t believe for a second that Dick was the one that put “distance” between them, in canon it has always been Bruce, either Bruce couldn’t handle that Dick spent more time with the Titans or he pushed Dick away with his horrible attitude, but Dick is the one doing the talking and sadly Dick can sometimes come off as an unreliable narrator because he tends to take the blame for things that aren’t his fault or, at least, not completely his fault).

So yeah, those were my thoughts on Nightwing vs. Hush! Thank you for the question @chainusser​ ! I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

[c-is-for-circinate]

Okay, I’m gonna talk about my Jester Theory and every shipper in the fandom on every side is gonna hate it but whatever, I think it holds up and I find it both in-character and very intriguing.

Theory: Jester is on some level aware of the fact that half her party is or has been seriously crushing on her, whether or not she’s choosing to admit it to herself.  Jester has been actively throwing up road blocks to all possible suitors, again, whether or not she’s choosing to admit it to herself.  She has absolutely not said any of this out loud, because those would be hard conversations that would hurt her friends and she loves her friends and oh god she could never, and maybe if they just get over their crushes on their own she won’t ever have to!

     Jester has a passive wisdom of 15.  This may not be enough to 100% discern crushes directly towards her specifically, but it absolutely is enough to notice when people she knows are feeling conflicted or awkward in response to certain things.  Jester also hates confrontation with her friends or ever admitting to bad feelings of her own that might make them feel bad.

   Jester has been president and head shipper of the Beau/Yasha shippers association since about the instant Yasha returned to their side from Obann.  There’s absolutely an element of ‘I want my friends to be happy!’ in it, and ‘I love the magic of romance!’, but man she is intense about it.  It makes an interesting contrast to the Jester who was so determined to keep being Beau’s roommate that they ended up sharing a bedroom even when the M9 found themselves in possession of an entire mansion, who ended up sad and worried about Beau being angry with her when Beau suggested separate rooms after the Obann fight to begin with. 

We don’t even see the level of ‘my friends are getting together and not paying as much attention to me any more’ slight jealousy that I might expect from Jester.  She’s just aggressively shipping it.  And there could be many reasons for that, but it also fits very consistently with a Jester who’s delighted that her friends could be together and happy and not putting her in the awkward position of having to formulate a rejection ever again.

   And then there’s Caleb.  One thing I’ve noticed over several past episodes (though not last night) is a tendency for Jester to create really awkward situations for Caleb in light of his crush.  I’m thinking about ‘here, come lay down on my bed right where I would’ve laid when I was a kid--so you can see the mural I painted, obviously, not for any other reason, why would you even think that?’  These are things that could be flirty, if Jester and Caleb were actively flirting, but definitely don’t feel flirty.  They feel like Laura Bailey fucking with Liam O’Brien.  Which means that, by extension, they feel a little like Jester fucking with Caleb in a very slightly passive-aggressive sort of way.

These little flirtations don’t make Caleb happy.  Mostly they make him uncomfortable, and Jester has to have noticed that, because that’s the kind of thing Jester notices in other people and either deliberately avoids or deliberately leans into!  So maybe Jester’s just poking Caleb’s buttons for fun, which is totally in-character for her, but even when she pokes at people’s buttons like that there’s usually a reason.  It doesn’t feel like a ‘I want you to like me back enough to actually say it’, to me.  It feels like, ‘I want you to stop being weird around me and I am going to keep poking at you until you get over whatever it is and stop.’

Jester may or may not realize that it’s Caleb’s crush feelings making him feel uncomfortable, but if she has, the whole thing feels to me a little like a deliberate friendzoning.  If Caleb just stops being weird, then everything’s fine!  They can be friends!  Maybe he can date Astrid again and be happy and stop being weird to her!

   Moving on to Fjord, we get kind of a contrast, because Fjord’s the one person Jester is maybe flirting back with a little.  Fjord hasn’t actually admitted to anyone else that he does have feelings for Jester--in fact, there was a whole conversation with Beau on Rumblecusp about how honestly, he’s barely sure of who he even is, let alone how he’s going to feel next week or what he wants in the long term.  He does, however, keep doing things that read as tremendously flirty.  The whole thing with the unicorn screamed ‘Travis Willingham is deeply in love with his wife’.

They danced, and it was cute!  She kissed him on the cheek!  And also, when they first started dancing (deliberately shoved together and out onto the floor by Caleb), the first thing Jester did was drop a stinkbomb on the dance floor.  And also, it is occurring to me right now, when Jester does things like kiss Fjord on the cheek, he doesn’t flinch.  He smiles at her, and it’s okay, and he doesn’t make it weird, and he also doesn’t push.

On the other hand, in the past we’ve seen Fjord get weird and awkward in possibly-flirty situations with Jester, and she calls him on it right out loud.  Jester’s original crush on Fjord is full canon, although it’s not entirely confirmed what it’s turned into since.  She might be open to advances, but she’s going to ask for clarification and she’s going to make him say it out loud.  If he actively flirts, she is going to kiss him on the cheek and make him deal with it rather than pretending it never happened and letting him off the hook.

And: she’s not initiating any more, not really.  Not the way she used to during the first couple of arcs of the campaign.  If he actually wants her he’s going to have to say it out loud.

.

All in all, it makes me think about Jester as, perhaps, someone who doesn’t want to rock the boat.  She’d rather avoid any complicated situations of unrequited feelings with people who may or may not be willing to admit those feelings to anyone at all.  It is to her benefit if Caleb and Beau get over their crushes because then she doesn’t have to deal with them wanting things.

And right, it’s not that they’re asking for things!  It’s not that they’ve ever asked for things, and maybe not that they ever even would.  But Jester has some feelings about people wanting things from her, because Jester wants everybody she loves to be happy, and she’ll put on a happy face and cry in private about it, and so this is a really awkward position for her.  She’ll never force a conversation about it, but she can spread the awkward and uncomfortable around until maybe the wanting goes away too (Caleb), or she can leap at an opportunity to redirect the attention and then hey, look, everyone is happy problem solved.

I’m really curious to see how things proceed with Fjord, especially with Avantika suddenly showing up now to throw god knows what kind of wrench in the works.  Is he going to keep flirting?  Is he going to stop again?  How is Jester going to respond if he does?

But I do think that it’s interesting to think about Jester and her choices in this situation, and also how much of this is an actual choice and how much is just instinctual avoidance.  She has lots of reasons to push Beau and Yasha together, she doesn’t have to think about why she’s so happy to see them paying attention to each other or why she’s so very not jealous of that attention.  She loves pushing peoples’ buttons, she doesn’t have to think about why Caleb has developed the particular buttons he has.

I don’t know what the answer is!  I don’t know if Laura Bailey entirely knows what the answer is, or if I’m on the wrong track completely.  I am sure various shippers will have a counter-argument to these thoughts!

But until further canon confirmation or dismissal, these are the theories I’m going with: Jester trying to steer Beau and Caleb away without ever, ever talking about it, and accepting the Fjord situation for now because he’s not being weird and awkward about it so at least that’s okay.

[lovebunnie]

Your mcleroy post got recommended to me and so I'm going to tell you my experience with the mcelroys. I started with the polygon content, as I assume most people did. I got hooked immediately onto monster factory. One day, I got a really bad fever and decided that was the time to start the mbmbam podcast. It was weird, to say the least. I ended up listening to more and more. My ocd was in overdrive and I was constantly consuming all the content. I made it like 300 episodes into mbmbam. I started taz at some point in there too. I listened to balance, and by the time I caught up, they were doing the first experimental arcs. I listened to the first episodes of amnesty but thought it was boring and didnt like the story telling. Eventually, I grew up a bit. My interests were changing and I was making new friends at school. I just wasnt interested anymore. After awhile, I was grossed out by how much I idolized them. I wanted Travis to be my dad. I was obsessive. It was too much. Now whenever I'm reminded of the mcekroys existed I'm kinda freaked out. All the "drama" seems unessacary. It just seems like other people are growing out of it too.

i fell in the same way; there was a specific post on here that talked about monster factory, which led me to the podcast, which led me to taz, which led me the mcelroy collective as it were. ive found myself seeking entertainment from other sources over the years (i first got into mcelroy content around the end of 2016) and i think its a natural progression of my life. it just seems off to me how people cant just say “ive grown out of this” or “i dont find them funny” and instead feel the need to prove why they’re justified in their feelings. you dont need to explain or try to convince people to join you.

ig i focus so much on tr*vis (i dont want this in the specific tags) because he’s always been the odd one out, not in monster factory and people say he’s the least funny, and i relate to that since i also have two siblings. the point being is that, esp after taz and my strong attachment to magnus burnsides, tr*vis genuinely tries and its so refreshing to see, and when people condemn his mistakes instead of talking with him and explaining certain things, they’re perpetuating the cycle of people not trying to be better.

this isn’t even getting into his discussion on personal mental health struggles since that’s his very personal business, it just sucks to see people not growing up but instead lashing out and feeling the need to defend past choices

[pucksnsticksnhockeyboys]

summer

summary: Travis takes you home to spend a week with his family and you love every minute of it.

warnings: talk of marriage

word count: 2.1k

note: this was so self indulgent, omg, also I saw a video of Travis back home in the off season and it was so adorable I had to write something on it.

The sun warmed your skin as you laid on the front of your boyfriend’s boat. He had tried to convince you to fish with him, but you simply scrunched your nose up and cheered for him when he caught something. Fishing had never been your thing, despite having grown up in a family that regular partook in the activity, so you were more than happy to sunbathe while your boyfriend casted away. 

Travis, as much as he wanted to be able to show you the proper way to cast or tie a lure on, loved the way you looked on the front of his boat. To him, it was a way to show you off to everyone on the lake, ‘that’s my girl’ he’d think as a group of passing fishermen would do a double take they saw you. He had no reason to be jealous, you were on his boat, and he was the only one who could hear you sing quietly along to the music playing softly. 

As much as he loved being on the ice back in Philadelphia, he felt so at peace with you back at his childhood home. The fact that you took so easily to the relaxed countryside of Canada despite living in Philly for so long had him falling for you even more. 

“The fish are in the water, Konency. You promised your family dinner, so you better start catching.” You chirped, dragging him out of his thoughts when you caught him staring. He grinned lazily at you before turning back to his pole, relishing in the moment. You smiled at him, even though he couldn't see it, because you loved seeing how relaxed he was. Back in Philadelphia, he was either training, on his way to train, pregaming, or playing. It was nice to see him not stressed. 

“I got the prettiest girl in the whole world on the front of my boat. Could you blame me for not wanting to stare at a fish?” His response was so quick, so charming, and so him you couldn't help the roll of your eyes. 

“Flattery will not save you from your brother when you come back with two fish to feed everyone.” You teased, referencing the way his brother Chase had joked that they’d all starve if Travis was the one responsible for catching dinner. 

“Nah, he’s a sucker for compliments.” Travis joked. You loved how easy the conversation flowed between the two of you, the perfect mix of sweetness and chirps that had you falling for him even more. 

“Must run in the family, ‘cause you’ve got a pretty big ego.” He scoffed at this, and you laughed loudly. 

It was that moment Travis decided that your laugh was his favorite sound—not even the sound of the horns after he scores a goal could top it—and he knew then that he wanted to spend the rest of his life trying to make you laugh.

Later that evening, after you had helped his mother cook the fish while the boys set the table, you, Travis, Chase, and his parents sat on the back porch and listened to the sounds of the country night. You sat in a one of the two porch swings with Travis, his arm on the back behind your head and you leaning into him slightly. His parents were in the other, and Chase took up residence in an Adirondack chair. 

You were having fun, you always did at the Konecny household. Someone was always making jokes and Travis’ mother told you stories about your boyfriend as a child, some that he really would’ve been able to live with if you hadn't known. But no matter how many embarrassing stories she told you, nothing could change the fact that you were so hopelessly in love with Travis. You were certain that the story of how he crashed his bike when he was seven because he was trying to carrying a fishing pole and tackle box while attempting to hold the handle bars would stay with you forever, but so would the warm summer nights spent with him and his family.

The calmness of the evening could only last so long, and since they were brothers, Travis and Chase began to bicker. You pinched Travis’ side to try and get him to shut up when you heard the exasperated sigh from his mother, but instead took his brother’s bait and continued to argue.

“Shall we?” Travis’ dad asked and it was that moment that you realized he had stood up and was offering his hand to you to dance. You nodded, grinning when you stood up and realized it ended the bickering between the boys. You laughed loudly when Mr. Konecny did some elaborate spin move and you nearly tripped over your own feet. 

“Trying to steal my girl, dad?” Travis joked, standing to his feet and opening his arms for you. You moved to Travis, his mom taking your place dancing dramatically with his dad. You and Travis danced so wildly and enthusiastically that by the end of the song he was pulling you into his chest and you both laughed and tried to catch your breath and he pressed a sloppy kiss to your forehead. You hadn't even noticed Chase recording the whole ordeal until later when you watched his story and he posted the video of you dancing with Travis, their parents in the background mimicking your actions with the caption ‘how did I managed to fifth wheel my brother and my parents and brother’ underneath. You had texted him that night, asking him to send you the video. You looked so happy in his arms, and it warmed your heart to see his mom grinning at you in the back.

The next morning found you and Mrs. Konency at the house alone. The boys had gone out fishing early that morning, and by the time you woke up, Travis was already gone. You had made your way to the kitchen to find her plating up some eggs and toast for the both of you to enjoy on the porch. You had thanked her repeatedly, pouring your own cup of coffee and adding the right ingredients before following her outside.

“You make him happy, unbelievably so.” She told you after both plates had been cleared. You beamed at this. It was one thing to see the smile on your boyfriend's face when you walked into the room, but it was another when his mother noticed and told you so.

“He makes me happy, too.” Was your response. But happy wasn't quite the right word. It was so much more than just happy. Travis made you feel like all the problems in the worlds were nothing when you with him. A bad test grade? A hard day at work? None of that followed you around when you were wrapped up in Travis’ arms. Sometimes it was hard watching him fight on the ice or get checked into the boards because you worried for him, but you knew he was tough and you made sure to remind him of that. Being Travis’ girlfriend meant you had to build his ego but remember to knock it down a few pegs every once in a while.  

“Do you see a future with him?” She asked, and sipped on her coffee as if it wasn't the most loaded question the mother of your boyfriend could ask. You panicked for a moment, despite knowing your answer. 

“Yeah, I do.” You responded earnestly. If anything, spending the past few days with his family reassured you that this was a family you felt welcomed in and would no doubt hesitate to agree if Travis ever asked. Still it felt a little weird telling this to your boyfriend’s mother.

“Do you want to have a winter wedding or a spring?” The question made you choke on your own saliva. You hadn’t pictured your morning turning into wedding planning when you woke up, but like always, you were kind of excited to talk about weddings. You loved them, and even when you dragged a groaning Travis to some of your coworkers weddings, you knew he loved them too. 

“Summer, actually.” You answered. At some point or another, every girl that wanted to get married thought about the special day. “I want an indoor ceremony, but for the reception I want there to be like an inside part for the food and drinks and dancing, but also a nice outside area, preferably in the woods with a gazebo for pictures.” Okay, so maybe you thought about your future wedding more than a few times. She just smiled at you, launching into recommendations about what you should do on your big day to make it run smoothly, adding a teasing ‘but nothing ever goes according to plan with these Konecny boys’ that made you laugh loudly.

You had been so caught up in conversation about what the wedding colors would be that you didn't even notice the boys return until Travis was stopped by his mom’s chair. 

“What’re you guys taking about?” He asked, looking between the two most important women in his life. You flushed, not really wanting to tell him you had been talking about wedding stuff, his wedding, specifically.

“Your wedding.” Mrs. Konecny said casually and you wanted to die inside for a moment before you saw the grin on Travis’ face. The one that only came out when he was about to cause trouble.

“And I didn't even have to propose, awesome.” He joked and at the same time you kicked your leg out to poke him in the stomach for his comment, his mom swatted his arm in a scolding manner.  “You absolutely do have to propose.” She chastised and you giggled at the way he laughed, moving out of his mom’s arm reach and to you, bending down to place a sweet kiss to your lips, one that ended quickly under the gaze of his mother. She didn't disapprove, you knew that, but it was still weird to show affection like that in front of his parents. Even if she had caught the two of you making out the first night. 

“So when’s our wedding?” Travis continued to tease as he took the open seat next to you, interlocking your fingers with his. “Because I still have to buy a ring.” You knew he was putting on a show, but you could also hear the seriousness behind everything he said. That meant he planned on a future with you in it, that you would be spending countless more days with him. 

“In the summer.” You replied softly, turning to mush under his adoring gaze and it was only made worse when he brushed his lips against your fingers, kissing them gently. 

That night, you and Travis were standing in the small guest bathroom, trying to get ready for bed around each other until you gave up, waiting to brush your teeth when he wasn't hogging the sink. Finally, he was done and stepped aside, watching as you applied to toothpaste to you brush and once you had it in your mouth, he was pulling you against him, hands on your hips to hold you in place. You leaned back into him, enjoying being in his presence like you so often did. With his usually crazy hockey schedule, you learned to savor the simple moments of calm domesticity, like the one you were currently in. He was just watching you brush your teeth, something you had done twice a day since as far back as you could remember, yet the look of pure adoration in his eyes had you had your heart melting.

“I meant what I said earlier.” He started, laughing when he saw you in the mirror scrunch your face up in confusion since you couldn't exactly voice it. “That I’m going to buy you a ring.” You spit the toothpaste out, and he waited for you to rinse your mouth before continuing. You spun in his loose grip, placing a hand on his bicep when he tugged you slightly closer. 

“You better not be proposing to me in your parents’ bathroom, Konecny.” You warned, a teasing edge to your voice obvious enough to make him smile. 

“No, not today. And not in a bathroom.” You laughed, despite the fact that your heart was racing a million miles a minute. You knew he was telling you the truth, that he was planning to spend the rest of his life with you, so there was no need to rush marriage. You knew you had forever with this boy, but you wanted every moment with him slow down so you could take in every bit.

“I’ll be waiting.”

[arecomicsevengood]

TOP TEN OLDER MAINSTREAM COMICS I READ THIS YEAR

I kept track of all the comics I read this year, and not all of them were new. I have no idea who this will help or benefit but at least the circumstances of me only listing the completely arbitrary older work I read for the first time this year will deter anyone from arguing with me. However, for the sake of possibly being contentious, let me mention two comics that fall outside the top ten, because they’re bad:

Trencher by Keith Giffen. David King did a comic strip about Keith Giffen’s art style on this book in issue 2 of But Is It... Comic Aht that everybody loved, and made me be like, ok, I’ll check it out. But it’s basically just a retread of Lobo in terms of its tone and approach, but without Simon Bisley. I don’t really know why anyone wouldn’t think Bisley is the better cartoonist. Also, those comics are terrible. Thumbs down.

The Green Lantern by Grant Morrison, Liam Sharp, and Steve Oliff. I bought the first year of these comics for a dollar each off a dude doing a sidewalk sale. Found them sort of incoherent? I haven’t liked a new Grant Morrison comic in ages, with All-Star Superman being really the only outlier since like We3. This is clearly modeled off of European comics like Druillet or something, and would maybe benefit from being printed larger, I really dislike the modeled color too. But also it’s just aggressively fast-paced, with issues ending in ways that feel like cliffhangers but aren’t, and no real characters of interest.

As for the top ten list itself, for those who’ve looked at my Letterboxd page, slots 10-8 are approximately “3 stars,” 7-4 are 3 1/2 stars, slots 3 and 2 are 4 stars, with number one being a 4 1/2 star comic. The comics I’m listing on my “Best Of The Year” list that’ll run at the Comics Journal alongside a bunch of people are all 4 1/2 or 5 star comics. This is INSANELY NERDY and pedantic to note, and I eschew star ratings half the time anyway, because assignations of numeric value to art are absurd except within the specific framework of how strong a recommendation is, and on Letterboxd I feel like I’m speaking to a very small and self-selecting group of people whose tastes I generally know. (And I generally would not recommend joining Letterboxd to people!) But what I mean by all of this is just that there is a whole world of work I value more than this stuff, and I’ll recommend the truly outstanding shit to interested readers in good time.

10. Justice Society Of America by Len Strazewski and Mike Parobeck. Did some quarantine regressing and bought these comics, a few of which were some of the first comics I ever read, but I didn’t read the whole thing regularly as a kid. Parobeck’s a fun cartoonist, this stuff is readable. It’s faintly generic/baseline competent but there’s a cheap and readable quality to this stuff that modern comics lack. Interestingly, the letters column is made up of old people who remember the characters and feel like it’s marketed towards them, and since that wasn’t profitable, when the book was canceled, Parobeck went over to drawing The Batman Adventures, which was actively marketed towards kids. It’s funny that him and Ty Templeton were basically viewed as “normal” mainline DC Comics for a few years there and then became relegated to this specific subset of cartooning language, which everyone likes and thought was good but didn’t fit inside the corporate self-image, which has basically no aesthetic values.

9. The Shadow 18 & 19 by Andy Helfer and Kyle Baker. I’d been grabbing issues of this run of comics for years and am only now finishing it. Kyle Baker’s art is swell but Helfer writes a demanding script, these are slow reads that cause the eye to glaze over a bit.

8. The Jam 3-8 by Bernie Mireault. I made a post where I suggested Mireault’s The Jam might be one of the better Slave Labor comics. Probably not true but what I ended up getting are some colored reprints Tundra did, and some black and white issues published by Dark Horse after that. Mireault’s art style is kinda like Roger Langridge. After these, he did a crossover with Mike Allred’s Madman and then did a series of backups in those comics, it makes sense to group them together, along with Jay Stephens’ Atomic City Tales and Paul Grist’s Jack Staff, or Mike Mignola’s Hellboy, as this stream that runs parallel to Image Comics but is basically better, a little more readable, but still feeling closer to something commercial in intention as opposed to self-expression. Although it also IS self-expression, just the expression of a self that has internalized a lot of tropes and interests in superhero comics. If you have also read a lot of superhero comics, but also a lot of alternative comics, stuff like this basically reads like nothing. It’s comfort food on the same level of mashed potatoes: I love it when it’s well-done but there’s also a passable version that can be made when depressed and uninspired. But drawing like Roger Langridge is definitely not bad!

7. WildC.A.T.S by Alan Moore, Travis Charest, et al. I wrote a post about these comics a few months ago, but let me reiterate the salient points: There’s two collections, the first one is much better than the second, and the first is incredibly dumbed-down in its nineties Image Comics style but also feels like the best version of that possible, when Charest is doing art. Also, these collections are out of print now, a friend of mine pointed out maybe they can’t be reprinted because they involve characters owned by Todd McFarlane but Wildstorm is owned wholly by DC now.

6. Haywire by Michael Fleischer and Vince Giarrano. I made a post about this comic when I first read a few issues right around the time Michael Fleischer died a few years ago, but didn’t read all of it then. This feels way more deliberately structured than most action comics, with its limited cast and lack of ties to any broader universe, but it’s also dumb and sleazy and fast moving, and feels related to what were the popular movies of the day, splitting its influences evenly between erotic thrillers about yuppies and Stallone-starring action movies. The erotic thriller element is mostly just “a villain in bondage gear” which is sort of standard superhero comics bullshit but it’s also a little bit deeper than that. The first three issues, inked by Kyle Baker, look the best.

5. Dick Tracy by John Moore and Kyle Baker. These look even better! A little unclear which John Moore this is? There’s John Francis Moore, who worked with Howard Chaykin and was scripting TV around this time, but there’s another dude who was a cartoonist who did a miniseries for Piranha Press and then moved on to doing work for Disney on Darkwing Duck comics. Anyway, Kyle Baker colors these, they’re energetically cartooned, each issue is like 64 pages, with every page being close to a strip or scene in a movie. I’m impressed by them, and there’s a nice bulk that makes them a nice thing to keep a kid busy. (For the record, my favorite Kyle Baker solo comic is probably You Are Here.)

4. Chronos by John Francis Moore and Paul Guinan. I was moving on from DC comics by the late nineties, but Grant Morrison’s JLA was surely a positive influence on everyone, especially compared to the vibe there in the subsequent two decades. These are well-crafted. There’s a little stretch where it uses the whole “time-traveling protagonist” thing to do a run of issues which stand alone but fall in sequence too and it’s pretty smooth and smart. The art is strong enough to carry it, the sort of cartoony faces with detailed backgrounds it’s widely agreed works perfectly, but that you rarely see in mainstream comics. The coloring is done digitally, but not over-modeled enough to ruin it.

3. Martha Washington by Frank Miller and Dave Gibbons. A few miniseries, all of which sort of get weaker as they go, but all in one book it doesn’t feel like it’s becoming trash as it goes or anything. When Miller dumbed down his storytelling in the nineties it really was because he thought it made for better comics, the tension between his interest in manga and Gibbons’ British-comics classicism feels productive. I do kind of feel like the early computer coloring ruins this a little bit.

2. Xombi by John Rozum and JJ Birch. Got a handful of these on paper, read scans of the rest. This is pretty solid stuff, not really transcendent ever, but feels well-crafted on a month-in, month-out level. I read a handful of other Milestone comics, and a lot of them suffered from being so beholden to deadlines that there are fill-in issues constantly. This is the rare one that had the same creators for the entirety of its run. There was a revival with Frazer Irving art a decade ago but I prefer JJ Birch’s black line art with Noelle Giddings’ watercolors seen here. They’re doing an early Vertigo style “weirdness” but with a fun and goofy sense of humor about itself. I haven’t read Clive Barker but this feels pretty influenced by that as well. (The Deathwish miniseries is of roughly comparable quality. I read scans of the rest of that after I made my little post and, yeah, it does actually feel very personal for a genre work, and the JH Williams art with painted color is great.)

1. Tom Strong by Alan Moore, Chris Sprouse, etc. I got bored reading these as a teen but getting them all for cheap and reading them in a go was a pretty satisfying experience. It’s partly a speed-run through Moore’s coverage of the concept of a comic book multiverse seen in his Supreme run, minus the riffing on Mort Weisinger Superman comics, instead adding in a running theme of rehabilitating antagonists whose goals are different but aren’t necessarily evil. It’s more than just Moore in an optimistic or nostalgic mode, it also feels like he’s explaining his leftist morality to an audience that has internalized conflicts being resolved by violence as the genre standard.

[moonelf19]

Remember when they were in the boiling pot? Travis/Fjord tried to look for things he recognized, things people he knew had once had. Things like Caleb's necklace which hadn't been found yet from the pile. He rolled a 21, didnt find it. But Veth who rolled a 21 did. I think that's kinda lame that Fjord had the same score and got nothing out of it while another roll for the same thing did. Imagine if he had actually been given that find?

(I had most of this answer written and tumblr flushed it away so here is take two!)

I hadn’t noticed that moment (but my roommate, who usually misses subtle things in the show, totally DID notice it and thought it was weird). This is now the second time in this arc that Matt has overlooked Caleb when Fjord was looking for people/things.

The first time was when Liam specifically said Caleb sat down next to Fjord at the bonfire to work on his wand (insert conspiracy theory about the wand here). About a minute later Travis asks Matt who is nearby and Matt listed people who were a little ways off doing food preparation but failed to mention Caleb sitting right next to Fjord.

And now Fjord looks for his friends belongings and finds nothing, but Veth looks for her friends belongings with the same roll and gets rewards?

Matt is a GREAT dm, I love watching him work. I also disagree with some of his choices (Veth unable to step across a 6 inch gap without rolling a save, her failing the save and dying in lava??? I was mad for a week lol). He can be a little harsh, which I actually REALLY enjoy! I love challenging DND, where the players have to be paying attention and thinking hard and involved.

However I think the reality is that Matt sees the characters and the story a certain way, and so the way he answers things, what he asks certain people, are all affected by that bias. It reinforces certain dynamics because he’s trying to help the players tell a story.

Do Veth and Caleb have a strong story connection? Yes, absolutely. I LOVE seeing Veth’s story play out because it’s been developing consistently since the start, her personality and choices have been shifting as she learns and grows, the wretched choice she is trying to make between her original family and the M9 is heart wrenching to watch.

I also think that Sam is really good at stepping into the spotlight and interacting with other characters. Veth has a connection with Jester (detectives), Yasha (the development from distrust to offering to give Yasha her flask), Fjord (pseudo-antagonistic friendship), Beau (dex based friendly rivalry). That’s all happened because when Matt asked what they want to do Sam took initiative and incited interaction with another player.

But the rest of the group is not doing that to the same extent. Case in point Ashley. Hardly ever seeks people out, very much still on the fringe of the party. 

All rambling to say that Veth has sort of monopolized Caleb’s connections. Their relationship was/is sort of codependent. If the group is taking watch, Veth immediately pipes up she is on watch with Caleb. If the group is rooming in pairs Veth is going to room with Caleb. If the party is reporting their marching order sometimes she is on watch, but often she will place herself with Caleb to watch over him.

100 episodes in of course Matt has created a Veth-Caleb connection in his head. It’s been hammered in there. Sam has no sense of fear or reservation making sure Veth is where he wants her to be. Her story is being told fantastically. I wish the other characters were getting that sort of treatment, even if I know why they aren’t.

So when Fjord asks for things he would recognize, Matt probably thinks back to when Travis/Fjord has interacted with other party members, and in the heat of the moment he can’t immediately pull up an idea, so he passes it off that Fjord sees nothing. Because Travis is more timid at the table. Because he hasn’t laid the groundwork to have that instant connection to other characters in Matts head.

When Veth asks for things she might recognize, Matt thinks of Caleb. He even mentions sometimes that he assumes Veth is paying extra attention to Caleb unprompted (in the dungeon under Bazzozan, when they were descending the staircase. I just re-watched that episode so it stands out.) And so Matt says that Veth finds Caleb’s necklace. Of course she would.

From a mechanics standpoint it’s like the DC is different for Veth vs Fjord because Veth has seen the necklace so much more. Even if in game Fjord has seen it enough to recognize it, even if the necklace is VERY important to Fjord because it is keeping Caleb safe while he carries the Cloven Crystal. Even if Fjord had a pointed conversation with Caleb about making sure he was safe while carrying this horrible item for Fjord, even if Fjord said he doesn’t want Caleb to be in danger and is soothed by the fact that the necklace protects Caleb from Ukotoa’s followers.

That wasn’t in the forefront of Matt’s mind. So Fjord didn’t see it. Veth did.

And we got another Veth and Caleb interaction instead of a Fjord and Caleb one.

And things stay the same.

[mosswolf]

Kidnapping for the bthb with Skyjacks + the pcs?

here you go, anon! 1.5k, travis & jonnit & gable, cw for big evil prisons a la the one in the flashback eps! 

(send me bad things happen prompts here!!)

As much as he hates to admit it, this is probably Travis’s fault. Jonnit’s a smart kid, sure, and more perceptive than most— hah— but it’s Travis who has the experience, and the experience with this specifically. He should be more than skilled at spotting and avoiding church officials with something to prove by now. 

But here he is, in the back of a cart, a bag over his head and a terrified fifteen year old breathing fast by his side. The sun had only set less than an hour ago, that was why he’d been sent into town with Jonnit to scout out a place for the crew to stay in the first place. So, roughly eleven hours before he was conveniently the wrong shape for handcuffs. 

That’ll probably be fine, right? He’s survived worse. He tries very hard not to think about how much the Church would love to get their hands on Jonnit. 

The cart is full of people, all murmuring quietly to themselves or each other, so it isn’t too hard to lean in the vague direction of Jonnit’s ear and whisper “Wouldn’t be a Matagot party unless someone gets arrested.” 

“It was a shopping trip, Travis!” Jonnit responds, muffled through the bag on his head. Travis isn’t sure why the Church doesn’t want them seeing where they’re going. Maybe it’s something more serious than the normal town lock-up. 

Travis shrugs before realising that Jonnit can’t see him. “I like to multitask.” 

“No you don’t. You don’t even like to task, singular.” 

“Well, what can I say?” Travis begins, “I’m just—” 

The cart rattles to a halt, and Travis stops, despite himself. It’s going to be fine. It’s going to be fine! 

When the back is wrenched open and someone grabs him and wrenches him away, he can hear the anxiety in his own voice when he says “Jonnit!” 

“Hey, stop it!” Jonnit says, from somewhere to Travis’s right, as they’re marched across cobblestones. “I can walk myself!” 

Eleven hours, they can handle that. 

— 

“Ouch,” Travis says, less than half an hour later. They’d had the bags pulled off them once they’d got inside, and the building is huge and old, old stone. It’s not the worst prison Travis has ever been in, but it’s not— it’s not good. The air has the telltale smell of blood. The cells are far enough apart that you can barely hear the screams, but they’re definitely still there. And he’s broken enough bones to know that his leg is definitely broken. 

The small mercy had been that they hadn’t tried to separate him and Jonnit. They’d tossed them into the same small, windowless cell roughly, roughly enough to jostle Jonnit’s bandana out of place. 

The man’s eyes had widened. “What the fuck?” he’d said, gripping his spear tighter. 

“Uh oh,” Jonnit had said, stepping backwards, and Travis had stuck his leg out to trip the man as he tried to follow. It was a stupid, panic driven response, a trick that he plays on Gable more rather than a genuine attack, but it had worked and the man had fallen, hard. 

When he’d got up, there was a look of murderous rage on the man’s face that Travis was so very familiar with. But he still hadn’t been able to move fast enough to avoid the man cracking his spear down on Travis’s leg, and he’d crumpled immediately. 

If he’s being honest, Travis doesn’t really remember what had happened next. But he knows that now the man is gone, the cell is locked, and Jonnit is kneeling anxiously by his side. 

“Are you okay, man?” Jonnit’s saying, “He hit you super hard.” 

“Yep,” Travis manages. “He sure did.” He gestures at Jonnit to help him sit up against the wall. “Well, you know what I always say…” 

“Not a Matagot party unless someone gets their leg broken?” 

“You know it.” 

Jonnit just shakes his head, and reties his bandana. Then he flops beside Travis with the leggy awkwardness of teenagers that Travis is so glad he outgrew over two hundred years ago. “What are we gonna do?” he says. 

“We’re gonna wait till I change in the morning, then we’re gonna escape,” Travis says, wearily. 

“Do you really think we have that long?” Jonnit says. “Before they…” 

“Before they…?” 

Jonnit gives him a look. “C’mon, this is a Church of the Slain God prison and we’re… you know, weird.”

“Speak for yourself,” Travis says, but Jonnit’s right and he knows it. “It’ll be fine. Gable knows where we went.” He’s grasping at the one other straw that isn’t his ten and a half hours distant transformation. Gable will, probably, maybe, realise that they’re late returning and something must be wrong. 

“Yeah. Yeah!” Jonnit says, perking up a little. “They’ll bring the crew and it’ll probably be really cool!” 

“And maybe they’ll even trip over their own feet coming in,” Travis says. “That’d be funny.” 

Jonnit shakes his head at him, and that’s good, because while he’s frustrated he’s not scared. And the only thing worse than getting captured by the Church with a magic kid would be getting captured with a scared magic kid. 

— 

Travis is good at pain. That’s like, his whole deal. But by the time the sound of distant shouting echoes into their cell, he is well and truly tired of his leg hurting. 

“Oh, good, that sounds like Gable,” he says. “Better late than never.” 

“Can you walk?” Jonnit asks him. 

Travis tries, experimentally, and hisses through his teeth. “I would rather not.”

“Here,” Jonnit says, offering his arm, and together they hobble over to the door. Jonnit looks at him judgmentally when he produces lockpicks from his sleeve and proceeds to pick the lock. 

“Could you have done that this whole time?” he asks. 

“Well, yes, but we couldn’t have gotten past the guards,” Travis says, tugging the door open. “And I didn’t want to draw more attention to us than we already have.” 

Now they’re out in the corridor, it’s easy to follow the sounds of chaos. The building is grimy and unpleasant. Travis doesn’t look too hard into any of the cells they pass, or at the stains on the floor. He’s starting to think this place is worse than he’d initially thought. Jonnit is uncharacteristically quiet at his side. 

They come out to a huge, central room, and Travis hears Jonnit gasp. There are soldiers and guards everywhere, some in Church regalia and some clearly red feathers— but mostly, they’re all just dead. The air smells of smoke, and Gable’s standing in the centre of the chaos, sword held high and wreathed in fire. Their eyes are deep, pure black. 

Travis just sighs. “Come on, Jonnit,” he says, and together they hobble across the room. The few people left alive make noises of shock and terror as Travis reaches over and grabs Gable’s sleeve. 

They don’t respond, eyes darting between the people who are still scrambling away and muttering, so Travis tugs their sleeve. “Come on,” he says. “Time to go.” 

“Are you insane?” some brave soul blurts, shuffling out of the room as they speak. “That— that thing killed everyone in here!” 

Travis rolls his eyes, and pulls harder on their sleeve. “We’re going,” he says, taking hold of their wrist firmly with one hand and readjusting his grip of Jonnit’s shoulders with the other. 

“Yeah,” Jonnit agrees, and together they lead Gable back through the prison complex and out into the courtyard. There doesn’t appear to be anyone left to stop them. 

— 

It’s dark outside, dark and cold. They can’t go back to the ship, not with Travis’s leg and Gable’s… whole situation. Jonnit’s shivering already, and trying to pretend that he isn’t. 

Travis does the only thing he can think to do, and leads them towards the forest. 

They’re barely out of sight of the town when the shouting starts, loud enough to be audible even from this distance. 

“I think they’ve found out about…” Jonnit says, trailing off. He gives a worried look to Gable, who still doesn’t seem aware of them, eyes snapping to movement on the horizon. 

“This isn’t going to work,” Travis says, glancing down at his leg. They’re going too slowly. “Gable, you need to carry me.” 

He thinks, for a long moment, that they’re too out of it to hear him. But then they blink, and with surprising gentleness, scoop him up. 

“Okay!” he says, from their arms. “Jonnit, you good?” 

“Yeah,” he says, but there’s a waver in his voice. Gable looks down at him, and then kneels on one knee so he can climb on their shoulders.

“Can you carry both of us?” Jonnit asks. 

“I wouldn’t question them,” Travis advises, nodding back at the town. There are lights illuminating the sky orange now, like people are being roused from their beds. Travis knows the early signs of an impending witch hunt only too well. They head for the treeline. 

It’s darker still under the trees. It’s a pine forest, thick and heavy, Gable’s feet sinking into the soft ground every time they take a step. Travis closes his eyes and takes several deep breaths, listening intently. There isn’t a sound. He takes that as a good sign. 

The Queen may be unpredictable, but she keeps her word. No one will follow them into the woods. 

They’ll be fine.

[kimpossibooty]

Hi friend, I literally just finished the latest episode of TAZ:G when I saw your post. What's not working for you about this one? Did you like their other arcs?

Okay so I have a lot of thoughts BUT first I want to talk about things that I do like!

1) I love TAZ! I’ve loved every season and every mini arc, I love the boys, I would listen to them play monopoly for ninety minutes every other week!

2) The premise is amazing! A magical school for heroes and villains is ingenious, but adding on the extra layer of an annex for sidekicks and henchmen and having the story based there? Amazing! There could not be a better setting for a story or a concept more directly up my alley!

3) The characters are great! I love all of the PCs and most of the NPCs! Plus, it’s fantastic that Travis is working so hard to include diverse characters in a way that doesn’t feel forced or poorly handled! As a disabled person who uses a mobility aid due to a chronic pain issue, having Rainer be introduced in the way that she was and having her be so badass and funny without her disability being framed as a punchline or a liability has been AMAZING for me! 

Buuuuuut there are definitely things that are falling flat for me.

I really want to couch this in positivity though! I listen to every episode and enjoy it, and I plan to listen to the whole season still! Just there are aspects that make it really hard for me to get into, so I really can’t immerse myself in Graduation the way that I’ve been able to in basically every other story they’ve done.

That said though, there are problems I’ve had that have already been improved! I had a lot of trouble keeping track of what was happening in the first few episodes, mostly due to the characters. A ton of NPCs were introduced at once, they didn’t have very distinct voices, they weren’t given enough defining characteristics that I could easily match a name to a character, and the way Travis told the story didn’t really include much in the way of telling which character was speaking. Instead, he mostly just spoke in the character voice, but with the voices not being very different and there not being enough background with the characters to just know who would be speaking in the moment or what character would most make sense to be saying a given line, it was VERY difficult for me to keep track. I had to listen to the first several episodes three times just to actually track the story.

BUT that’s gotten much better! Travis has really developed a lot of the voices used in the story, and he points out who’s speaking most of the time! Whether he got feedback on that or just got more into the role of a storyteller that he picked up the habit naturally, it’s made the show so much better to me! 

But there are some other things that haven’t really improved/don’t seem likely to change. But that’s okay! I want to be super explicit that this is ME talking about MY feelings, and not me trying to pass judgement on the show or say that it’s objectively bad. These are just my feelings and they don’t impact or reflect the general quality of the show or the ability for other people to enjoy the show fully or not be bothered by my complaints or anything like that.

1) I feel like there’s not a lot of respect for character backstories? This is a very very specific complaint, but the choice to have Fitzroy’s family not actually be royalty really sits weird with me. Of course, we’re just the listeners at home, it’s very possible this was discussed off air for the sake of the narrative, but it felt really, really weird that it was such a big part of Fitzroy’s character and then Travis just turned his dad into a trucker. I know that [BALANCE SPOILERS] Griffin gave all of the player characters FORGOTTEN LIVES AND LOVED ONES, but it was done in a way that didn’t invalidate a single thing about the stories the others had already told. It feels less “yes, and” and more “no, instead” and it’s just really kind of thrown me off. As a player, I would be less than stoked if a DM made that choice for my character. But again, very possible they discussed this! Or even that it was Griffin’s choice! But there was zero build up (at least that I caught) in the narrative, so it really felt off.

2) The pacing can be... rough. There are some beats that Travis tries to set up that would probably work well for a normal game, but they don’t always offer a lot for a story with an audience. For example, in episode 160, the guys kind of recap everything they know, then go talk to the wizard in the camp. The wizard offers nothing in the way of information, but then asks them to recap everything they know AGAIN, solely for Travis to justify an NPC being up to speed. It didn’t offer anything to the players or to the narrative. The guys pretty much vetoed that in character, so there wasn’t a lot of lost time there or anything, but there have been encounters like this a lot. I just feel like every couple episodes there are conversations or meetings or encounters that Travis sets up that definitely would flesh out a story in a book but really don’t work as a piece of entertainment. In a book, it can be written off as “they caught the wizard up on everything”, but to do it all in character would be very boring and take a lot of time, and it seems like there are points where Travis focuses more on justifying things in-world rather than thinking about the end product. Again, would totally work in a normal game or in a book, but I just don’t enjoy that sort of thing when I’m listening to a podcast, and it seems like the other guys might be aware of it sometimes, too.

3) This one’s my biggest problem, but the inconsistency I feel in the tone really makes it hard for me to take it seriously. I feel like Travis leans into silliness in a fun way, but not enough. He sets up a lot of serious beats, but then there’s a lot of “the spirit of the Scarlet WoOOOODS” followed by some pretty heavy silences. He wants to deliver a serious, meaningful story, which is great, and he wants to do it in a funny way, which is great, but he really hasn’t found a balance in my eyes. The seriousness makes the jokes feel out of place, and the jokes make it difficult to take the serious parts... seriously. The goofiness itself is great, I love it, and a lot of the humor lands and lands well! The dancing squirrel skeletons are arguably the best thing TAZ has ever made! But I feel like if he wants to really play with the humor, he has to lean into it more, and he really hasn’t yet, and when a joke doesn’t land, like the repeated “SpIrIt Of ThE sCaRlEt WoOoOoOoOoDs”, it really stops things up and makes me almost uncomfortable listening to it. 

I think also a part of it is that it’s hard to tell what’s supposed to be funny IN the story vs what’s funny ABOUT the story. Like, again, the scarlet woods bit could be objectively funny in its own. Centaurs insisting on pronouncing the name of a deity-adjacent spirit in a dramatic and ridiculous way? That’s great. But it’s hard to tell if the characters in the world are supposed to take it seriously or not. Like, if I was a player, I wouldn’t know if my character thought that it was funny, or if the DM was only doing it for the amusement of the players and not the characters. I feel like as an audience member, it’s a weird place to be.

But all that said, I really want to emphasize that I love what Travis is doing! It’s definitely not about his DM style, because I LOVED Dust! Just there are a lot of things in Graduation that aren’t sticking for me. 

Ultimately, I love the show, I will keep listening, I’m very invested and very positive, I just really, really, really hope some changes get made for things like this.

[utilitycaster]

Your fav character from each class in all the actual plays you’ve watched?

THE BEST QUESTION (if hard). I’m only counting regular PCs here; see the end for some guest/NPC/one-shot mentions. As you can see I love basically all characters but I do have my favorites.

Barbarian: there is a high potential, now that Ashley is back for good, that Yasha will win this next year but for now Gorgug and his sweet awkwardness and confused attempts to find his dad wins. (some other good barbarians: Grog, Beryl from Relics and Rarities who was a. kind of a stoner and b. an absolute delight and c. a cool depiction of path of the ancestral guardian, and Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt, sweet crepe loving failure)

Bard: I love Fig, but I have to go Scanlan. You know that art piece of the Vecna battle that’s overlaid with the All Work No Play “what would the worst character be” line? Yeah. From “I’m snoring after having sex” to “I was saving it for Vax”. You just can’t beat that. (some other good bards: Annabella from Relics and Rarities, Misty from Dimension 20)

Cleric: this is probably the hardest category (shout out to a lot of clerics. Jester, Kingston, and Kristen are tied for second place) but I think I have to go with Caduceus. I love how much he sees of everyone else and how little we know of him. I love how not-so-secretly judgemental he is. I love his bone flute. I love that he’s quietly trying to save his dying home, and perhaps find family that might be dead. Someone hug him for me. (I would like to recognize Pike and Merle of course, as well as Efink Murderdeath here, and while I’m only 7 episodes in I think Zolf is already my favorite of RQG. )

Druid: Keyleth. I feel like TAZ is at a disadvantage because they’re so early on in Graduation, but also I love the Firbolg but I am not sure a druid will ever surpass Keyleth, with all her messy awkwardness and genuine desire to do good at any cost. (shout out to Ricky Huckster for being a really unique take on the druid, Lillith from Escape from the Bloodkeep for being a great wine mom, and to Kugrash who is currently ripping my heart out)

Fighter: I’m surprising myself here but the recent developments with Fabian Seacaster have put him in the forefront, I think because his story is still ongoing and because I’m a sucker for an arrogant jock suddenly confronting mortality and failure. I do still love Percival De Rolo a lot though. (shout out to Magnus Burnsides who is good at everything, and Veros the O.G. Himbo from Relics and Rarities)

Monk: Beau. This is another case of like, I love Sofia Bicicleta too, but Marisha Ray has some kind of genius for playing female characters that really tap into like, things that many women I think feel but don’t know how to express (at least, I, a woman, feel these things and don’t know how to express them). Beau is such a complicated abrasive character who feels things deeply, and who has genuinely tried and succeeded in changing. She’s so dynamic and wonderful and I love her to bits.

Paladin: Vax. I wrote a whole piece about my experience of listening to CR campaign 1 episode 57 that I never published or posted. I think there’s something deeply profound and beautiful about sticking to an oath that you didn’t ever think you’d choose, and to a promise you fell into. (also, spoilers but Fjord’s going to be my choice for Warlock so I cover that there even though one of my favorite things about him is his switch to Paladin). (shout out, of course, to Ricky Matsui)

Ranger: Vex. Due to some valid and some invalid complaints about the ranger class few people play it, which is a shame because the revised ranger options are pretty great (Horizon Walker is amazing, I say as an admitted fan of weird planar shit) and because like, Aragorn was my favorite LOTR character. But yeah, everything I’ve said about Keyleth and Beau applies to Vex, the D&D character I think I relate most to despite my irl stats not matching hers at all (I do not have 17 Charisma). The imposter syndrome, the need to appear that everything is under control, the sibling loyalty, the stubbornness, the quiet leadership - it’s all so perfect and so unique and I love her very much. (Sokhbarr was a fun take though)

Rogue: put Vax as Paladin so I could nominate Riz as my favorite rogue (and again, I love Nott and enjoy what I’ve seen of Argo, and to be fair, Sasha seems very good as well) but I think the inquisitive subclass is so cool and Riz has such a wonderful arc. Also, goblin with gun is great but goblin high schooler with gun is straight up genius.

Sorcerer: a very rare class, tbh, with Pete getting it by default. He is indeed a fascinating character though, and tying his sorcery into the mythology of the world is a pretty brilliant DM move. (I also am very into Hamid thus far, not in the least because I love halflings)

Warlock: Fjord. I liked Fjord from the start, and even when he was being an ass during the pirate arc found him relatable. I think it might be my background as a bard player that makes me love this disaster who survived for years on just a high constitution and being really good at talking and playing roles; I also love someone who isn’t the greatest leader but falls into it, and someone with control issues working through it (see also: Vex, Percy) And finally, I don’t know if Travis was telling the truth about him being lawful good but he genuinely does want to make things better for people and he takes responsibility very seriously. (obviously, I also really liked Leland, and while I think of both Fig and Sofia as primarily of their main classes of bard and monk, they are cool as warlocks. I get why Emily Axford keeps gunning for Hexblade).

Wizard: Caleb. Given all the other sources of magic it’s always fascinating to see why someone becomes a wizard specifically, and I also like how complex Caleb is - not just the trauma, though that’s part, but the humor and the versatility. (Adaine was a close runner-up though, and Taako was my favorite of THB but is a little too goofy to be a favorite).

Artificer: I mean, obviously Tary.

NPCs and guests, with less commentary:

Barbarian: gonna go with Lionel the True Polymorphed Duck here.

Bard: Hazel Copperpot, she of the 1930s radio accent

Cleric: again very difficult, but then again, not so difficult. Lieve’tel was great.

Druid: Nila, the sweet and calming presence in our hour of need.

Fighter: oh god I don’t know if I can choose between Keg, bisexual dwarven disaster, and Brian David Gilbert’s Hargis, awkward goliath theater kid.

Monk: Ferriwen Breeze, who I do hope shows up again because she was my favorite Darrington Brigade character and I really love Genasi; also Expositor Dairon, natch.

Paladin: few people play paladins as guests which is weird. I do like Kerrek, and I do like Arkhan, but like, Kima, clearly.

Ranger: Sandralynn Faeth, hands down. A wonderful NPC.

Rogue:  I do love Cathilda, and I do love Twiggy, but I laughed about the Owlbear for the entire Darrington Brigade one shot.

Sorcerer: I mean...it has to be Gilmore, right? Calianna is great but no one can beat Gilmore.

Warlock: Zahra, who also, incidentally, is the only non-Hexblade Warlock who’s shown up. I mean hexblade is objectively amazing but Zahra is too.

Wizard: there have been many wizard NPCs across games and it was a very difficult choice but who else is graceful, unendingly kind and patient, and reliable in all situations? Allura Vyesoren is the wizard you wish your wizard could be. Yussa and Essek and Lup and Arthur Aguefort and Barry and Lyra and Ranier and far more wizard NPCs and guests are all wonderful in their own ways but like, did you think you could come for Matt Mercer’s self insert? you could not.

.

[renardtrickster]

I had a weird dream last night.

The first notable thing is that I was either back in High School, or in College, and the teacher was talking to the class, something about literature and writing, and decided to use No More Heroes as a discussion point. I nerded out. This somehow culminated in the teacher pulling out copies of No More Heroes 3, pulling the class into the computer lab, handing everyone a Nintendo Switch and earplugs, and letting us play one of the missions. It was just as gory and profanity-laden as the rest of NMH is. I think somehow that mission we played related positively to trans people, not in a "Travis said trans rights" way but in this apparently profound and well-done manner that I don't remember.

So I go home to brag to my brother about it and the post-apocalypse happens. All of a sudden me and my family are living out of a van. I got into a "keikaku battle" with Dad, which entailed predicting each other's moves, and he won somehow by buying a cat and dog beforehand, and sent me to retrieve them from the trunk. It's these two white boxes that could maybe hold a sandwich, and inside is a small kitten and a tiny puppy the size of one of those wedding ring boxes. We immediately lost them. Dad sent me and my brother out to look for them, so we did, beating up raiders together. Then he got pissed when I nabbed a good weapon and like, fast-traveled to a nearby town (which I'm 90% sure was Megaton from Fallout 3), which I couldn't do, so I had to take a train.

This resulted in me meeting this one guy who was like this weird racially insensitive invention of my mind? Like imagine every Hollywood stereotype of a voodoo practitioner. He's dressed like Baron Samedi without a shirt, he's holding a machete and gestures with it when he talks. And speaking of which he talks exactly like you'd expect someone like this to talk. Deep voice, kind of crooning at me, dragging near the end of his sentences like a Disney villain, like he's about to offer me power at a great cost. Like imagine Nazeem if he talked like Jafar. The weirdest thing was though, was that he was white as shit? Like the world ended and there's this pale-ass Caucasian dude cosplaying as a racial-religious caricature and nobody can stop him. It's even worse because I don't have any affiliation with or connection to Voodoo or any place where it's practiced. I don't know why my mind would show me this What Is The Purpose?

The post-apocalypse eventually ends when we drive over the Golden Gate Bridge (I have no connection to California), and my little sister beats the crap out of some kaiju that look like turtles with spiked shells, duck heads, and snake's necks. Apparently it was these that made the world look like some dust bowl. It's also revealed that the puppy and kitten were hidden in her hair the entire time, and may have given her superpowers. So we just go home and pretend nothing happened. My brother's here too. So I show him this post because I was proud of it and he said it was cool. This segues into the weirdest part of the dream.

Some dude responds to my post, and it's a real dude whose URL I recognize and follow, which is why I'm omitting it (the real life version wouldn't do this which is additionally messed up). He just starts laying into me for no reason at all. Like it's really rude and impersonal and serious for no reason like some Literally Who commenting on your fun doodle to criticize it. One of the criticisms was that I made a character's flaw "clumsiness" which he's seen a million times, but this was in referenced to the character whose flaw was "perverted". Which either means my dreaming mind twisted the facts for no reason, or he edited the post despite directly reblogging it where anyone could see it. Then he dragged me for making a character with an impossible-to-read/pronounce name, Detective [I don't know how he spelt it but it was pronounced "neh-zeh" apparently]. The only problem being that 1) I specifically omitted everyone's names and 2) none of them have a name resembling anything like that.

The worst part was yet to pass. He talked about "how brave [I] must be" to associate Korekiyo Shinguji with triangles, because apparently he has a very obvious triangle/number 3 motif. Not only did I not mention Korekiyo at all, but his proof was fanart of chibi Korekiyo with his sclera & pupil replaced with a triangle (I literally have a character with a 3 & triangle motif why didn't he use that). Then a criticism of one character who was pound for pound a description of the probably-racist voodoo guy, who not only is not in the post, but I never mentioned him before, not even to my family. Any answer as to why he knows about that guy and my association with him is spooky. At this point it just devolves into stuff that reads like an amalgamation of predictive text, unrelated images pulled from Google, and a criticism of various characters from Call of Duty (apathetic to it), Fallout 3 (I played it once), and possibly other media/real life/"real" life probably. The only additional one I could remember was calling me tasteless for drawing parallels between Jesus Christ and some dude whose death somehow led to his two sons not getting found guilty of some crime.

It was scary on a "dude what" level. And I responded in a "dude what" way before my brother stumbled into the room. He was green-skinned, frothing at the mouth, and promptly fell over. When we got to the hospital, it became clear that by showing my brother that post, I exposed him to that dude's reblog, which was so full of cringe and What that it destroyed his immune system. At that point there was just so much going on that I woke up before something crazier happened.

[princessamericachavez]

Might I just say that I think this breakdown of Jester’s has been a long time coming, since the whole Lorenzo incident. Yeah, she had a little crisis of faith there but she never really talked about it beyond that. Pretty sure Fjord said that he didn’t think Caleb and Nott would come after them, but we don’t know really if Jester had a similar thought to that? This might play in to any abandonment issues she’ll have after an incident like this. (Not that they really meant to leave her.)

I hope you know I’ve been thinking about this ask all week, while I was busy with some real life stuff, and I’ve been going through Jester’s emotional arc over my head time and time again trying to find the right words to express all my feelings about this. 

First and foremost, you are absolutely right, nonnie. 

As much as this whole piracy thing has been part of Fjord’s backstory, I’d say this arc has been just as much about Jester’s emotional journey. Now, that might sound like a bit of a stretch to some, I get it, but overall I would call this a Menagerie Coast Kids Arc. After all, they both started this part of the story after the Iron Shepherd’s kidnapping, they both went back home to face the real or metaphorical loss of a parental figure, and they both have stuck by each others side as they do so, always the most vocal supporters of each other’s struggles. 

So, focusing on Jester, let’s see everything she’s been through ever since Travis and Laura came back from baby-break: 

She was obviously upset over what they went through and over losing Molly

She felt abandoned by her deity. Even if, as you said, she thought the others might not come, she entirely trusted the Traveler would. 

Instead, though, it was the M9 who showed up, which puts an interesting balance on who she can/can’t rely on in that kind of situation that we might’ve seen reversed once more after ep 45.

She kept putting on a happy face, though, enough to fool both Fjord and Beau, until Caleb pointed out the possibility of it being an act.

this is interesting because, from then on, we can see these particular three paying special attention to her behavior and trying to make sure she’s alright.

After that, she also got a chance to talk with the Traveler and get reassurance that she hadn’t been abandoned. 

I’ve seen people point out that the Traveler putting a “condition” on his love for her might lead Jester to be less likely to allow herself to be sad or vulnerable, but I’m not entirely on board with the idea. I think all cleric-deity relationships are based in some sort of trade, and “being a source of joy and chaos” is her version of worshiping him. 

“As long as you worship me I’m here” is a pretty standard deity pact. Does it put pressure on Jester to be happy? Probably, but she’s never told not to be upset or hurt, she’s told to bring happiness to others, which in turn as we know makes her happy. It’s a weird little balance if anything.

She found out the Gentleman is most likely her father, though was thoroughly rejected by him when she tried to message him. Digging deeper into her abandonment issues.

Caleb kept an eye on her during the whole Nicodranas thing but was quiet about it. 

Fjord, on the other hand, with his new insight made a point of asking whether she was alright, twice in a row. And then tried to help cheer her up.

They had to leave Nicodranas in the middle of the chaos, making her lose her mother all over again after she’d barely gotten a chance to reconnect with her after a very traumatic experience.

Which leads to the Jellyfish talk, and one of her arc’s bigger emotional turning points, in which she finally opens up about some of her inner sadness and confides on Fjord about it, getting support and reassurance from him. 

Which is a bummer when you consider that, from that moment on, Fjord who’d been her biggest source of emotional support from the moment they started this journey together turned into the source of a lot of pain and confusion for her. 

Now, Jester’s jealousy is nothing new, especially when it comes to Fjord, but you gotta see it within context to understand just how deep it ran and how it hit her in a level much more personal than simple romantic issues: Fjord, after all, was Jester’s first real friend ever since she left home, they’ve been traveling together the longest, he’s also the guy she’s been crushing pretty hard on for months and who she’s starting to develop stronger feelings for... so to see him being constantly pulled away both physically and emotionally by Avantika (a manipulative tactic probably aimed to isolate him from the rest of the group) gotta have hit Jester rather hard in her own self-worth, by putting into question the support system around which she’s built her own identity ever since she left the world she knew behind and had to face reality on her own.

This time, it was Beau who noted Jester’s negative emotion: anger, but Jester was quick to brush it off and Beau, because of her own private nature, is not the kind that will push further to get answers from her. She did, however, try to raise the issue to Fjord once, mentioning Jester’s jealousy, but circumstances and Fjord’s obliviousness did not help.

To add a nail to Jester’s already overflowing confusion: The Kiss.

Jester’s very first kiss, given by the guy she’s in love with and keeps giving her mixed signals, never spoken about again between them, while he’s actively sleeping with another woman... Listen, that’s a lot to confuse anyone, even if she hadn’t been dealing already with so much emotional turmoil.

Neither Nott nor the Traveler were particularly helpful in their advice to her, but the fact that she reached for advice at all is a sign of maturity and awareness that she’s maybe not entirely equipped to deal with this on her own right now. It’s a step forward towards showing vulnerability.

Her talk to Caleb, on the other hand, was much more fruitful in that he was able to offer some wiser advice (wait until the crisis has passed and then you can see calmly) and seemed to help her focus on their more pressing issues. 

That talk was also one of Jester’s bigger turning points, in which she was unusually honest about feelings of sadness, confusion, anger, and ‘feeling stupid’ over what she’s experiencing.

Once the Avantika thing was done, Jester was able to reach for Fjord, for which was probably the first calm time ever since the jellyfish talk, and once again they seemed to find their balance in supporting each other. Things seemed right again, with the apparent enemy out of the picture.

The thing is, though, the issue was never really Avantika, but Jester’s own insecurities and fear of abandonment, so of course even with her gone things would not be solved so easily. 

Add to that, the Diver’s Grave and the blood ritual. 

You have a physically and emotionally exhausted Jester whose repressed frustrations are starting to show up (in things like the shift from her earlier Hellish Rebukes to her latest ones)... and she has to see Fjord and Caleb, the two she’s mostly been able to lean on and the two she’s opened to the most, start some shady blood ritual for no apparent reason, in front of her horrified eyes. 

“I know, Yasha, I didn’t like it either,” she grumbles as they leave the grave and there’s a heaviness to her body language that wasn’t there before, like all these things she’s been keeping inside have finally managed to weigh her down. 

So you have Jester struggling with feelings of loneliness, fear of abandonment, unrequited love, worry, anger, sadness, exhaustion... 

Throw in an adorable little gnome that seems to fill the room with light and laughter in the way Jester usually does, in the way that is her role to play, her one strength... 

Add the man she’s in love with getting sucked through a window right in front of her eyes to gods know where

Just for kicks and giggles add a freaking blue dragon infuriated at her specifically, while the rest of her friends one by one flee leaving her behind 

(not that they abandoned her, but just like with Avantika this is an issue rooted in Jester’s feelings about the situation rather than external factors, meaning the problem is she felt abandoned)

The only two people to come to her rescue? The Traveler and Nott. 

Now, remember how after the Iron Shepherds it was the Traveler who ‘failed’ her and the M9 who stuck around? Now turn that table around, because, in her hour of desperation and horror, it was the Traveler again who showed up, like he has her whole life, rescuing her from abandonment (and most likely re-securing undying loyalty that could come bite her in the ass later on if his intentions aren’t entirely honorable)

It’s no wonder that when, once again, Beau points out Jester’s sadness, she brushes it off, even if she just broke into tears right there in the deck, even if she’s bloodied and terrified, even if she’s exhausted and broken and lonely... opening up, so far, has only led her to disappointment and pain, and she thinks she was almost left behind, and only the Traveler could understand, and she needs to be happy again, and smile, and hide it... because otherwise, she might be abandoned by both Nein and  Deity. 

Jester has reached a breaking point in which her current emotional state is unsustainable and, hopefully, episode 46 will give her the emotional climax she deserves to let it all out and move on to a new stage of acceptance, to at least start to work through some of this issues.

The fact that, for that, she’d depend on the help of the gigantic disaster that is her friends, though, doesn’t bode well. 

We might end up heading to a breakage point rather than fixing turn. 

Either way, something has to change, the last drop is gonna hit the glass and it’s only a matter of who’s going to be there to pick up the pieces... either the M9 or the Traveler and things could go very differently depending on who that is.

[screechthemighty]

Also just for my own reference, Weird Caleb Quirks And If They Mean Something (under a cut because this got long AF and rambly AF).

I will be updating this post as the season goes on or until we get Some Answers.

Counting

Someone else pointed this out and I can’t find the post so credit to that guy but they make a good point--Caleb definitely has A Thing about counting money, but he also counted the arrows as he yanked them out of his poor body. Update: Found the post.

This one is probably just a Caleb Thing, maybe indicative of arithmomania but not like a backstory thing or anything with a reasoning to it beyond his brain going “count, you gotta.”

Shoving Things In His Pockets

Okay so first there was the bits of human flesh and now the MUD he shoved in his pockets?? What the fuck man.

This one is either a hardcore quirk with a hardcore reasoning behind it OR a backstory thing, because what other reason would you shove THAT KIND OF SHIT INTO YOUR POCKETS.

Theory one: he’s trying to transmutate something. I IMMEDIATELY had FMA flashbacks once I was reminded of the flesh he took. One theory I saw in the tag pointed out that Liam also asked how close they were to Winter’s Crest so maybe he’s gathering Things For A Ritual.

Theory two: this post says maybe he’s trying to mask his scent, which could be something, definitely.

Another theory I found while writing this: it’s meant to deter pickpockets which??? that sure is one way to do it but I’m kind of into this theory because while I’m sure that Caleb has some Sad Shit going on in his backstory, I also love the concept that some of his quirks are just Him Being Weird.

Another person suggested in a reply to this post that he could be doing it to gather material components for future spells and just doing it in the grossest/weirdest way possible. Again, love the concept of this. Contributing to this, someone else reminded me that Travis/Fjord had mentioned using the meat to distract the gnolls so it’s possible that’s what Liam/Caleb was going for. More proof that Caleb is just a weird grimy scavenger.

Not Getting His Head Wet/Clean

He clearly indicated that he only went in the bath up to his neck and that he only really started resisting Pumat Sol cleaning him when the spell started affecting his face.

This could be one of two things:

This is a backstory related thing; I know a lot of people have suggested water based trauma and like, it’s possible? But the fact that it seems to be more about CLEANLINESS based on ep. 8 would lean more towards something of like, protecting his identity maybe? The dirt keeps him safe.

Note: As of 2x9, water phobia seems less likely since he willingly submerged himself to avoid social interactions. Could still be a disguise element, though.

The thing about Nott thinking his face changes when he’s clean is 100% the only reason for this, based on Nott asking if he’d change when they went to the bath house and her freaking out a bit when he gets clean. Goblins have a hard time with human faces, maybe??? Who knows

Family/Connections

He definitely 100% is close to Nott and treats her like she’s blood, like it’s so blatantly obvious there’s a connection there that reads as familial (he characterized it as being sibling-like rather than father/daughter so there’s that). Agreed with Jester about wanting to find her dad, stressing the importance of parents in someone’s life. Got VERY closed down when grilled about the possibility that he might be/have been a dad.

This is definitely a backstory thing, like 100% something that Liam O’Brien and Mercer are keeping from us damn them

The question here mostly being was Caleb a dad or not and I think it could go either way? Someone pointed out that the 14 insight check could mean that he was lying about him having had kids/a family and just got away with it. It’s completely possible he’s hiding the truth about some kids and is minimizing Nott as a daughter figure either because he’s lying to himself or trying to deflect.

HOWEVER if we take him at face value, it’s possible he was an older brother and just? Had younger siblings he was very close to (probably a little sister), maybe was even a parental substitute if he had absentee parents. That could be the protective vibe we’re getting from him.

Sidebar related to this theory: it’s possible they died, also possible though that this is an Ana-and-Elsa-in-Frozen situation where he accidentally hurt one of them and then had to leave the house after.

Fire, Fire, Fire

His freakout moment after burning that dude alive followed by him trying to hide the glove of firebolt. He didn’t seem as broken up about turning Trevor into ash, though.

Could be a backstory thing, the question is in what capacity. This person makes a good point that his demeanor completely changed when dealing with the glove, and I definitely noticed that, too. So that’s worth keeping in mind.

Again, he didn’t seem too broken up about setting Trevor on fire, so maybe it was the CONTEXT of the priest that made that incident upsetting. In this case, the context was that he killed that guy, with fire, after coming dangerously close to losing Nott, and if we theorize that Nott is a family substitute of some type, then maybe that’s the backstory key? (note: one person has pointed out that Caleb was basically unconscious when Trevor got burned up and it was instantaneous vs. the more slow and gruesome death that the priest suffered so that might also be important to remember here)

New question: did Caleb do the burning OR did someone else do it. As noted above, there could’ve been an accidental harm situation against a family member (regardless of which one you think it happened to). Also possible that other family members were killed with fire, not by him, which is a thing I’ve seen tossed around in fic a few times.

On a personal sidebar, one thing I’ve thought of a lot is like...perhaps? perhaps. He lived in a place where the arcane isn’t as accepted and if he came from a family of magic-users, well...Burn the Witch. This theory doesn’t have a lot to back it up, though, so it’s more a fun/tragic what-if than anything I’m taking seriously.

“How long have you been doing magic?”

Someone reminded me that one of the few things we know about Caleb’s backstory is that he did magic when he was younger, then stopped and picked it back up again recently (though this assumes Caleb wasn’t lying? I doubt he was about this, there doesn’t seem to be any reason to lie about something like this.)

Obviously this is a backstory thing, might relate back to his thing about families and his thing about fire? But we don’t know.

Dates/Moon Cycles

So I know it’s been points out that Matt was very specific about the cycle of the moon in an early episode, and in ep. 8 Caleb asked how close they were to Winter’s Crest.

It’s entirely possible that this is just a weird Caleb quirk and he likes knowing about the moon/dates. HOWEVER...

Could also be Backstory. Some people have been using this as proof of werewolf!Caleb though I feel like that one’s been Joss’d? Forgive me, I don’t watch Talks Machina, though speaking of...

I know on a recent episode from a post someone made Liam mentioned that he let Mercer do some of the backstory work for him. So maybe the significance of knowing dates is that Liam knows there’s SOMETHING to it, but not WHAT that something is. I was thinking that something might happen TO Caleb on that date (consider: family prophecy of a Bad Thing maybe??) while a friend of mine justastoryteller suggested it could be an anniversary of something. So this might be worth keeping an eye on.

Also possible he was thinking about eating WC on Winter’s Crest anyway.

Random Details

Poor background? “That’s more money than my parents made in their entire life” in 2x9 while talking to Jester.

It feels noteworthy that he smeared mud all over his face in response to the money argument with Jester in 2x9.

Other People’s Theories I Want To Hold On To

Caleb has “the haunted one” as his background. I’m especially interested in this one because both Fjord and Beau have used things in relation to their backgrounds, so they seem to be using them this time.

Caleb is a deserter war mage.

[kirain]

Top Ten Favourite Anime Games

For this list, I will only be including games that are specifically considered part of the anime genre, NOT games that were created by Japan Studio or other Japanese companies/creators. So games like shadow of the colossus,  Bloodborne, Metal Gear, Resident Evil, etc., won’t be mentioned. While it is arguable that such games could fit the anime genre, it’s never been clarified. So here’s a list of my top 10 anime games.

1. Gravity Rush

There’s no real order for this list EXCEPT for Gravity Rush. It is easily my number one favourite pick. I bought it for next to nothing thinking it would be a cute little experience, but it ended up gripping my interest for four days straight; which is rare for me. While at work, all I could think about was getting back to it, and it’s one of the few games with trophies that didn’t annoy me. Seriously-- not one trophy pissed me off. In every game there’s at least two or three that really grind my gears, but Gravity Rush had nada.

There are several challenges in the game that are tough but fair, and they never become boring because they’re designed in such a way that the more you play them, the better you get. You begin to learn the controls, the landscape, the shortcuts, etc., which makes for some excellent gameplay. At no point in the game do you feel like a failure, which is nice once in a while. On top of that the story is fun, the characters are lovable, and the art is breathtaking. During each new chapter, we’re given information in the form of a hand-drawn manga, which only adds to the uniqueness. The language in the game is also made up, so anyone can relate to it. And the music? Oh, don’t even get me started:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxIC6Vu1ee0&t=43s

And just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, they went ahead and created a sequel, Gravity Rush 2! It’s pretty rare, in my opinion anyway, that video games have sequels that measure up to their predecessor, but Gravity Rush 2 might be even better! It lets us revisit old friends, make new friends, explore more areas, it gives us grater challenges and a newly implemented difficulty setting, and additional online adventures that have nothing to do with achievements! What really hits me about these games, though, is the freedom. You get to fly wherever you want, anytime you want, at ridiculous speeds. The world is vast, beautiful, and so fun to navigate.

After playing and falling in love with these games, I can only assume they’re called “Gravity Rush” because they’re an absolute rush to play.

2. Devil May Cry

Specifically the first game, Devil May Cry will always have a special place in my heart. I played the game a lot when I was in grade school and kept replaying it well into my high school years. All the way up until my PS2 broke. :’)

Now, I do know that this game was created by Capcom and that it was supposed to be related to the Resident Evil franchise, but director Hideki Kamiya openly stated that the game is an anime-style hack and slash action-adventure game, and even gave the anime T.V. show, Devil May Cry: The Animated Series by Shin Itagaki, his professional seal of approval.

That said, Devil May Cry is addictive with its brutal but charming character Dante, and its dark and twisted plot/gameplay. If you’re into cool characters, blood and guts, and kick-ass combat, this is the game for you!

3. Catherine

Another nostalgic game for me, Catherine was something I played constantly when I was in high school. The animation is enticing, the story is a giant mind f*ck, and the English voice acting is stupendous. Like many story-related anime games, it has multiple endings, as well as a karma metre that wraps into your choices. The story revolves around a man named Vincent  Brooks, who is beset by supernatural nightmares while torn between his feelings for longtime girlfriend Katherine and the similarly-named beauty Catherine.

While the game is mostly a platformer, the challenges are unreal, especially in Babel (an extra area not related to the story) and the arcade game, Rapunzel. If you want your brain to turn to mush, I’d suggest setting this baby to the hardest difficulty. Naturally there’s a trophy for beating everything with a gold time, so if you get that you’ll be able to gloat to all your friends about how smart you are. XD

Jokes aside, though, there are other aspects to the game that keep you going. You won’t get bored of the platforming because between each level is the story, given to us in two distinct anime styles, and a trip to the bar, where you can get drunk and interact with other characters. Depending on the dialogue you choose, you could be responsible for their dreams coming true ... or their untimely death. A remake of the game will be coming out for PS4 next year and I can’t wait to play it!

4. No More Heroes

No More Heroes is another action-adventure hack and slash video game that follows a man named Travis Touchdown ... who is a hardcore otaku. Literally all he cares about is killing and anime, which makes for a hilarious story. Travis is also a top-class assassin in a world where assassins constantly compete. Think John Wick: The Anime. This game is full of comedy and combat, as well as cool characters, crude challenges, and a cuddly kitty cat. I played this game religiously when I was in high school, and enjoyed it even up to it’s weird mind f*ck of an ending. The only downside being that it’s only available on Wii, which made for an interesting and unique experience, but a sad realisation that it will never be available for any other platform.

5. Trauma Center: Second Opinion

Just like No More Heroes, Trauma Center: Second Opinion is only available on Wii; but that in no way affected my love for it. Second Opinion is the second game in a long line of Trauma Centers, but for some reason it’s the only one I enjoy. Perhaps it’s because playing it on the Wii gave it a sense of realism. The game is a surgery simulator, and like an actual surgeon, you have to concentrate and keep your hands steady to succeed. If you move too quickly or throw yourself off balance, the patient will die. The art and music are also incredible and, believe it or not, there’s actually a pretty interesting story that goes along with each chapter. As you work your way to more advanced operations, you really take a liking to the characters and feel a strong sense of duty to your patients. To anyone who owns a Wii, this is definitely a game I’d recommend.

6. Chibi-Robo!

Chibi-Robo! This game takes me back! I spent hours upon hours playing this game, and I still would today if my copy hadn’t been stolen. This little treat is only available on the Wii and GameCube, and was created by Nintendo. It’s one of the most adorable platform-adventure games I’ve ever played to date. The Wiki explains the plot perfectly, so I’ll just post it here:

“Chibi-Robo! takes place in a 1960s-style American home and revolves around a tiny, highly advanced robot of the same name. He is given as a birthday gift to a socially withdrawn eight-year-old named Jenny Sanderson by her father. This is much to the dismay of Jenny's mother, a homemaker who is constantly stressed over how much money her husband spends on toys despite his unemployment.”

For a game that seems so basic, there are a plethora of areas to explore and they are huge. Ironically so, I’m sure, but it makes for some amazing gameplay nonetheless. As you wander, you help other creatures around the house, including the family, solve their problems and complete challenging and often comedic tasks; such as flipping burgers, cleaning up puddles, and-- you know-- helping the egg general save his fellow egg soldiers from the household dog. Yeah, stuff like that. XD

Honestly, it’s super fun and I recommend it to anyone, no matter what their age. It’s clearly geared towards children, but I can’t think of a single reason why an adult wouldn’t enjoy it just as much. It’s relaxing, freeing, and puts a genuine smile on your face. :)

7. Pokemon X and Y

Okay, I know I probably shouldn’t add Pokemon to this list, but I can’t help it! I’ve always loved the Pokemon games, but they just get better and better every time! Pokemon X and Y quickly became favourites of mine, and they consumed my life for a good two months as I captured every single Pokemon, bred the perfect IVs, and worked my ass off to get every shiny I desired. On top of that, I loved the story and, for once, how my character design turned out. What’s more, I fell absolutely in love with the Looker side quest, which is possibly the best and most emotional side quest I’ve ever played in a Pokemon game. X and Y will always be special to me, because in was with these two games that I caught ‘em all!

8. Pokemon Sun and Moon

Visually, Pokemon Sun and Moon are the best of the Pokemon games, in my opinion. They were also the first to really shake things up and give fans new and improved methods of breeding, capture, travel, communication, and more. We were also introduced to a new type of pokemon called “ultra beasts”, along with a fun and alluring story with several new characters and legendaries. Throughout the game, I found myself laughing hard at some of the experiences, and I spent countless hours capturing, trading, breeding, spoiling, and loving all of the new pokemon the games had to offer. I even transferred my pokemon from X and Y over so I could give them the same love and affection. ^_^

I have to thank @cassafra5 and @george-nordington, because they’re the ones who bought me this masterpiece! Thanks, guys! <3

9. .hack//OUTBREAK

This is a game that will always be near and dear to my heart. Back before guides were widely available, I was playing a game called .Hack//OUTBREAK. It came out in 2002, when I was only 12 years old. Back then, my dad was still alive. He never really understood my taste in anime, but he wanted to try and relate, so he bought this game for me on a whim. Little did he know I knew absolutely nothing about the .Hack series, and little did either of us know that OUTBREAK was actually the third part to two other .Hack games. Still, I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, so I played the game-- and I fell in love.

Visually, OUTBREAK was one of the best games I owned on PS2, and although parts of the story were difficult to follow, I was hooked. I dedicated entire days to this game, and because there weren’t any guides, I had to write down every code and location so I wouldn’t get lost/forget them. Today, I still have pages folded safely in the case. The amount of exploration and character interaction opened me up to a whole new genre of video games. In fact, it basically introduced me to anime-style games. I could actually buy gifts for my friends and build relationships. That seems common now, but back then it wasn’t for a typical PS2 game.

Unfortunately, tragedy struck when the save cartridge was accidentally kicked by my brother and all of my data was lost. I wasn’t too concerned, since I figured I could just replay the game and get everything back ... but the disk was also severely, irreparably scratched. It no longer plays. As such, it is now merely a keepsake from my father. I miss you, dad.

But 16 years later and my sister and I are still quoting this game! XD @alannahkiwi https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0I-7hwgwqa4

10. Persona 5

I only recently started playing Persona 5, but it’s quickly made its way to my top ten. I can’t say too much about it just yet, aside from the fact that the animation is crisp, the story is gripping, and I’m ready to sink hours of my life into platinuming this gorgeous feet of human achievement! So much heart and sole was poured into this game and it shows with every in-game step I take. This is the only game on this list that I haven’t yet finished, but I have a sense that I don’t really need to. Thus far, every mission has been a gem and I don’t want the party to end!