#this is peak comedy to me nobody gets it

[unproduciblesmackdown]

mused on some thesis about how billions uses Indignity to illustrate that something someone does has failed / gone wrong in one way or another, and how the way this punishment is an Emotional one means that it can't land if the character just doesn't Feel that punished by it, or at least doesn't like attribute the supposed failure to something inherent enough to them to particularly stew on it, see for example people heightening/escalating their efforts to embarass someone if even that person doesn't Seem to sufficiently externally react in embarassment. winston able to truck along while (a) consciously crafting or maintaining some persona, of eternal and irrefutable dignity or whatever else is associated with "merit"/status, isn't much of a priority, when to him his skills speak for themself even though to others this is about their own merit in recognizing independently if winston's skills Happen to have use, and putting him down if he tries to speak to that anyways, and (b) he's also just able to move along from L's handed to him, whether he thinks it was warranted (like that he'll accept it doesn't count if he only thought it but didn't say it) or not (why can't you count to loyalty), when even if this resilience To How Others Treat Him isn't exactly peak realistic, that he thinks of himself in such a way that he doesn't need to be striving for some paramount official status, or think he's defined by never failing or indeed never possibly able to be seen within a "wow undignified / embarassing" framework so long as this winningness is recognized, or so long as anything is anything, is sure feasible enough.

but anyways thought about it like this thesis is just "i am cringe but i am free" like yeah that works

[hannibalismos-jaaneman]

can i just say that gaul should've stuck to researching on her poisonous pookie fauna because istg that woman was running the games like a frat party.

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Bette Davis (All About Eve, Now Voyager, Jezebel)—She is a bitch and I like her so much. Also: unf. She does it all: rage, vulnerability, romantic passion, hauteur that invites beholders to say "step on me" under their breath. Her work in the 1930s, from melodramas to romantic comedies, is excellent, but I've mentioned 1940s films above because I feel that she really was at her best once the studio allowed her star image to get edgier. Also her decades-long platonic friendships with male co-stars (e.g. Paul Henreid, Claude Rains) are very important to me. Anyway: bow down before Bette Davis, HBIC.

Gloria Swanson (Don't Change Your Husband, Queen Kelly, Sadie Thompson, Sunset Boulevard)—the absolute BALLS this woman had! an icon of the 1920s, her career had simmered down, decent living in radio, deciding you know what? you know what i'll do? I'll star as the haggard old aging decrepit horror icon in Sunset Boulevard, that's what I'll do. Nobody else in Hollywood would take the part (every other actress didn't want to be framed as a has-been)—gloria said, fuck that, I'll eat this role alive and serve cunt the whole time. she was still so gorgeous when they made Sunset Boulevard they had to intentionally make her up/costume her to make her look older than she was. mad respect for the screen legend who says yeah, i am a screen legend, i was always that bitch and here I am again to prove it

This is round 3 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Bette Davis:

"The absolute GOAT of vintage cinema. An icon. Her EYES. Any time you see Bette on screen you know she's about to steal the spotlight. Her range is incredible, she can play coy, shy, mischevious, innocent, evil, hideous, beautiful, cunning, and wise all with the same self assurance and talent. I live in awe of her ability. And, of course, she's gorgeous. I think she peaked in 1950 with "All About Eve", at the age of 42- she was in full control of her craft, she's a milf, and her scratchy voice makes me nervous in a good way."

"She’s Bette fuckin’ Davis! She had a great sense of humor and a lovely pair of eyes! She was a camp icon and fuckin’ knew it. And she wasn’t afraid to make fun of herself!"

64.media.tumblr.com

"shes got a whole song of saying how hot someone is bc they look like her"

"She's got Bette Davis eyes! Incredible character actress, charming, witty as all hell. Her favourite accessory was a lit cigarette."

Gloria Swanson:

She was THE idea of a 1920s sex comedy star, and was a hot (and totally unhinged) older woman in Sunset Boulevard. Hot as a young woman and as an older woman? Yes plz

I feel like she would slay in alternative fashion

her performance as Norma Desmond in sunset boulevard makes me insane. I love her

[noel-fielding-web-page]

‘The fact that I’m still here is amazing’: Noel Fielding on Bake Off, booze and the Boosh

He has gone from cult niche to smash hit and he still can’t believe it. As Bake Off returns, the comic talks about his ‘feral’ upbringing, his party years – and the day Hammond fell out of a hammock

Noel Fielding’s highlight of the new series of The Great British Bake Off wasn’t a show-stopping cake. In fact, it wasn’t any type of baked goods. It wasn’t even a shot of a squirrel with outsized testicles. It was his co-host Alison Hammond falling out of a hammock.

“I’ll never be able to unsee it,” he says. “What I love about Alison – and I mean this with the greatest of respect – is that she’s an absolute klutz. If anyone’s going to fall out of a hammock, it’ll be her. She also fell backwards off one of the workbenches while showing off. Don’t worry, she was OK. No Hammonds were harmed in the making of this series.”

As the autumnal fixture returns to our screens, Fielding promises a 15th series on peak form. “It’s a belter,” he says. “There are some very special bakers in the tent this year. Somehow the standard keeps getting higher. These unbelievable young bakers are way better than they should be for their age. It’s a vintage year. One of the best yet.”

By stealth, the surrealist goth has become a Bake Off veteran. This is Fielding’s eighth series at the helm, meaning he’s now served a longer stint than original hosts Mel Giedroyc and Sue Perkins. “Who knew that was going to happen?” he marvels. “Maybe Paul Hollywood’s hypnotised me. I can’t escape the tractor beam of those blue eyes. I loved that original lineup, with Mary [Berry], Mel and Sue, as much as anyone. When me and Sandi [Toksvig] took over, we were terrified. We knew it was a massive risk. We said: ‘Let’s see if we can last one series.’ The fact that I’m still here is amazing.”

A family affair? … (from left) Fielding, Alison Hammond, Paul Hollywood and Prue Leith. Photograph: Mark Bourdillon/Channel 4

Toksvig later admitted “I felt my brain atrophying” after three series of glazes and ganaches. How does Fielding keep it fresh? “Sandi, as we know, is a massive brain. She went to Cambridge, she’s super-smart, she writes, she does politics, she needs to be stimulated. She never stays anywhere too long, except QI which is the perfect show for her. The difference between us is that I’ve always really enjoyed hanging out with the bakers. I befriend them and get them to open up. Nobody expected that to be my strength. I assumed it’d be the sketches and banter. In fact, I’m fascinated by the people. I feel protective of them. If Paul and Prue [Leith] are hard on them, I’m absolutely livid. It’s devastating when they leave. This year I was particularly fond of one baker. When I had to send them home, I cried.”

Hammond is his third co-host. “It feels like I’ve done three different shows,” he says. “First with Sandi, under enormous pressure but we pulled it off. Then with Matt [Lucas], which was a privilege because he’s a comedy genius. Now I’m enjoying it more than ever. Alison’s not a comedian, so she’s not as neurotic about jokes as I am, but she’s a brilliant improviser and instinctively funny. She slotted right in. Paul and Prue are very fond of her. Even my kids adore her. We’re having a blast.”

Judges and presenters refer to “the Bake Off stone” – a tendency to gain weight during each 10-week run. In her sophomore series, Hammond valiantly attempted to resist. “She tried to eat less this year but Alison’s quite childlike. She said: ‘Noel, stop me eating cake, I want to be good.’ The next time I saw her, she was literally like [he mimes shovelling in cake]. Alison has a good time all the time. You don’t want her to not be eating the cakes.”

Fielding, now 51, had a “feral” upbringing in Croydon. Hammond was raised in a Birmingham council house. He relishes these “two working-class kids galloping around Welford Park”, the Grade I-listed Berkshire estate where the marquee is pitched each summer. “If you’ve grown up in a working-class environment and go to a stately home, you’re like: ‘Woah! This is like Willy Wonka’s factory.’ We’re like urchins in front of Dame Prue. I permanently feel like I’ve come to sweep Prue’s chimney.” He describes Bake Off’s star quartet as “a funny old family”. Who’s who? “Prue and Paul are Mum and Dad, obviously. Alison’s the wild daughter. I reckon I’m the cat. Or am I the dog? Paul would say I’m the teenage son who’s secretly a vampire.”

‘We knew it was a massive risk’ … Fielding with Sandi Toksvig on the 12th series of The Great British Bake Off. Photograph: Channel 4/Love Productions/Mark Bourdillon/PA

The last time we spoke, Fielding reflected on his 00s era as a hedonistic scenester. “I took partying to its logical conclusion,” he said. “When you’ve been partying with Kate Moss and Courtney Love, you’ve gone as far as you can go. A few friends ended up in rehab. I was sick of partying anyway and lucky enough to have my family at the right time [he has two daughters with wife Lliana Bird]. It was like: ‘This is what I was looking for!’”

He returns to the theme today, pondering how Bake Off arrived at the right time. “When I got this job, I’d just had my first child, I was painting a lot and had a different lifestyle. This show fitted that phase. You want to match your career to where you are in life. It’s mainstream, family-friendly and my kids love it, so it suits me. I love not partying – and I never thought I’d say that.”

A fellow comic turned artist provides career inspiration. “I’d love to concentrate on art more as I get older. I love what Vic Reeves [Jim Moir] is doing, making art documentaries and his Painting Birds series. Vic and Bob [Mortimer] were a big influence on me. Now he looks genuinely happy. I’d love to do something similar.”

Claudia Winkleman jokes that she gets mistaken for Fielding. Does it happen the other way round? “I did see a trailer for The Traitors out of the corner of my eye and go: ‘I swear I didn’t film that.’ But no, Claudia looks like a beautiful 60s model. I look like a melted candle. A wax model of Roy Orbison that’s been left too near the radiator. It’s flattering for me but harsh on her.”

Earlier this year, Fielding scored a streaming hit with The Completely Made-Up Adventures of Dick Turpin. After wrapping filming on Bake Off, he’s off to shoot the highwayman sitcom’s second series. Has he learned to ride a horse? “I can get on and off, that’s all I need. Luckily it’s a comedy, so I don’t need to look impressive. One thing I enjoyed was that it’s made by Apple, so there’s a bit of a budget. With The [Mighty] Boosh, it was always a financial struggle to bring your vision to life. If you do fantastical stuff, you’re forever going: ‘We want an underwater race with people riding porpoises but that’d be all the budget gone.’ We’d end up using bits of animation to work around it. With Apple, they go: ‘Yeah, we can do that. Fine, let’s blow up a carriage.’ I’m like: ‘What, really? It won’t be a model?’”

He has formed an unlikely double act with Hugh Bonneville, who plays Dick’s thief-catching nemesis. “You can never predict who you’ll have chemistry with. I’ve learned a lot from Hugh. He’s a really skilful comic actor. And Mark Heap, who plays my dad, has the best timing of anyone ever.” As well as starring, Fielding has a writing credit. In the pilot episode, Heap tells him: “You always were a bit weird. Drawing, coming up with funny ideas, wearing strange outfits.” Was that line autobiographical? “I did write that scene, yeah,” admits Fielding.

Slice of history … Fielding (left) with his Mighty Boosh co-star Julian Barratt Photograph: Martin Argles/The Guardian

He also drew the amusingly rubbish “Wanted” posters that appear in the show. “I’d send them to the director and he’d go: ‘No, not bad enough, do another, make it more ridiculous!’ I’d end up doing them left-handed in about 10 seconds.” There’s even a role for his brother Michael, who played Naboo in The Mighty Boosh: “I put my brother in everything I can. He’s not only very funny but it means I get to hang out with him all day.”

While we’re on the Boosh, was he aware that this year marks the 20th anniversary of the comedy troupe’s TV incarnation? “Does it? Oh wow. Me and Julian [Barratt, his comedy partner] were proud of everything the Boosh did – the live shows, radio series, TV show. We probably should have made a film. People wanted more and that would’ve been a nice way to finish. Julian’s the funniest person I’ve ever worked with, hands down.” Of today’s comedy crop, he rates James Acaster highly.

Would the duo ever reform? “What we had together was so special. Comedy double acts are such rare beasts, like unicorns. I’ll probably never meet anyone like that again but I loved it while it lasted. We stopped at the right time, before the quality dipped. The Boosh was all-consuming, like being in a band. It’s difficult to recreate that when you’re older. You don’t have the same drive and energy. As much as I’d love to get back together, I wouldn’t want to do something that wasn’t as good.”

Going from Boosh to Bake Off has been an unexpected journey. “When the Boosh ended, because it had been a cult hit, I wanted to make something more avant garde and experimental to satisfy my art school side. So I did [Channel 4 sketch series] Luxury Comedy. After that, I didn’t know what to do with myself, then Bake Off came along. It was a huge curveball for me. I love that it’s old-fashioned TV. Millions watch it weekly. People come up and talk to me about the latest episode. It feels like being part of British culture. There’s so much choice now, thousands of shows on streaming, but shows like Strictly, Gogglebox and Bake Off somehow still cut through.”

After dismal weather all series, the sun even came out for this year’s final. “It had been raining and storming but as soon as we went to announce the winner, sunshine started beaming down.” Fielding grins. “Bake Off’s like that. There’s something magical about it.”

Guardian, 14.09.2024

[gachawolfiebloom]

Two Hearts In The City of Love

Chapter 13: PuzzleVision's Grand Finale

I may not have my five stars...

I may not have the stardom or talent to make it into the big leagues...

I may not even be good enough to make content at all, but I know one thing...

I will make it to the top again and everyone will cheer my name. Puzzlevision will go down in history as the greatest entertainment company ever seen. And I will accomplish that by any means necessary.̵̰̻̔.̸̤̀̏.̶̩̟̑̍͋

I WILL ACCOMPLISH THAT BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY I WILL ACCOMPLISH THAT BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY I WILL ACCOMPLISH THAT BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY I WILL ACCOMPLISH THAT BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY I WILL ACCOMPLISH THAT BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY I WILL ACCOMPLISH THAT BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY I WILL ACCOMPLISH THAT BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY I WILL ACCOMPLISH THAT BY ANY MEANS NECESSARYI WILL ACCOMPLISH THAT BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY I WILL ACCOMPLISH THAT BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY I WILL ACCOMPLISH THAT BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY I WILL ACCOMPLISH THAT BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY NECESSARY NECESSARY NECESSARY NECESSARY NECESSARY NECESSARY NECESSARY NECESSARY NECESSARY NECESSARY NECESSARY NECESSARY NECESSARY NECESSARY NECESSARY

c̴͓͆O̵̟͝ṽ̵̬E̵̩̓r̴̛̫ ̸̳͆Ṅ̶͎Ó̸̝T̵̹͒ ̸̙͆m̶̲̀A̵͝ͅḓ̷͝Ē̴̖ ̶̡̍b̵͗͜Y̵͔̓ ̶̞̿m̷̢̛E̶͎̐ ̵̞͝à̷̳N̵̝̕d̷̰̀ ̸̤͐P̴͎̐u̷̲͑Z̵͖̈́z̴̬̎L̷̰͒e̵̳̍V̸͎͑i̸͙̔Ṣ̷̒í̸̩O̸̪̾n̷̬̈́ ̷̢͌Ś̸͜ě̷͇L̴̩̆e̵̼͝C̷̭͘t̷̤͠ ̸̼̒s̷͔̆C̶̥͊r̵̙̒E̴̱̽e̵͗ͅṄ̷̻ ̶̖͂i̵͔̔S̷̢͑ ̶͎͊f̴̣̓R̶͙̕o̷̫͝M̸̤̊ ̷͙̅s̷̙͝M̷̫̄g̴͙̓4̷͙͊

"Welcome everyone to my next big upcoming movie! It means a lot that you enjoyed my first series so much that you would come to see the sequel. And I think this one will be much more to your liking."

"I mean just look at all the work I put into this. I tricked those idiots into winning a trip to Paris so I could start my own new take of the show. Romantic-comedy is really popular nowadays and who better to do it then my beloved actors. Great to have them back right!?"

Mr Puzzles played a recording of an audience applauding and cleared his throat. "Now, in order for us to move on to the next wave of Puzzlevision, I must take a new approach. I have recruited a new partner to help me in production that will surely boost my ratings straight to the top. Unfortunately, he is not ready to go public yet, so until then please sit back and enjoy this new movie that will leave your hearts melting, funny bones broken, and eyes astonished!"

The curtains rose up and a big movie screen put on a classic fairytale that had an oddly familiar setting to a previous Puzzlevision movie.

Once there was a beautiful princess who lived in a tower. He had been imprisoned by an evil witch who was jealous of his beauty and charm. One day, Prince Smg3 was riding by and heard a beautiful voice coming from a tall tower nearby. He decided to investigate and wanted to save the fair maiden that was stuck. The tower had no stairs, but it was a good thing the princess was gifted with incredible...MEMES! That's right. The prince called out "Smg4! Smg4! Let down the memes!"

The princess stepped forth, but something was wrong. His face was missing and every time he talked, it would come out like "!^#Y(#*((%^&*(!Q#$^*<>:'[]\" Smg3 looked confused. "Smg4?" Why wasn't the star actor here? Come to think of it, where was Mario? Isn't he usually the sidekick in these stories?

Where exactly were they..?

"Someone...please...help...anyone..." Four looked really bad. His body was sore and aching all over the place, his mind felt like it was slipping away, and those pink cracks on his face were such a pain. Pink cracks? What had happened? Everything was fine a few weeks ago. Now look where he was. Stuck in a dark, black void with nobody around and this machine was about ready to tear his arms off.

"Smg4..."

"Huh?"

"Smg4!"

Something was coming closer. Four got more nervous by the second. "Who's there? D-Did you d-do this to m-me?" The figure didn't say a word, but the footsteps were getting louder. "AHHHH!" Smg4 shut his eyes, preparing for the worst when he heard "Hiya Smg4!" He peaked one of his eyes open to see a fat Italian waving happily back at him. "Mario!? Thank god you're here! You've got to get me out of this!" Mario eyed the machine and said with derpy eyes "Ooooo is this a spaghetti maker?"

"What do you mean? Don't you know who caused this?" Mario thought back to a few days ago. "Oh yes, the bad TV man brought Smg4 in here and Mario followed." Four looked perplexed. "Bad TV man? You mean Mr Puzzles!?"

"Yes! He hooked you up and-"

Mario's expression then changed. "Then what!?" Four shot out in eager panic. Mario fell down to his knees and held his head in his hands. "He...He..." Four didn't have time to play games as he shouted "WHAT HAPPENED MARIO!? I NEED TO KNOW!" Mario said in a cold tone of voice "He...tortured you." Four's eyes widened as he remembered the painful memories. What had happened last week, leading up to this moment.

...

"Is...is this the prize?"

"It sure is! And it's all yours!"

The two giant claws grabbed onto Smg4's arms.

"Hey! What the-"

"You see, I had to make you win somehow. I needed you."

"W-Why do you n-need me?"

"Oh, for something far important. From now on, you will serve me as my partner."

Partner...

"THAT STUPID SON OF A GLITCH! HE DID THIS! HE TRAPPED ALL OF US HERE TO USE AS PROPS AGAIN!"

"Mario and Smg4 are the only ones left now. Mario's been hiding here ever since, trying to find a way out." Four tried to move freely, but the scars, combined with the tight grip of the clamps made him groan. "Ugh...how many times has he shocked me?" Mario held up a bunch of fingers, more than he could count. "37?"

"37!?"

(Actually it had only been 5 times.)

"WE'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE AND SAVE OUR FRIENDS!"

His eyes then began to glow pink for a second. "Forget them. Who cares if they suffer as long as the show is perfect." Four's eyes versed back to their original blue as he shut his mouth. "I...didn't say that." Mario looked confusingly at his best friend. "Smg4? Are you going coo coo crazy again?" The moment Mario said it, everything clicked for Smg4.

"So that's why he wants me..."

"Mario doesn't get it."

Four said in a panic "Don't you see Mario? Ever since the perfect incident, he's been using us for his own gain of shows. He wants my knowledge of memes and entertainment for his shows and he's reprograming me to do it!" Mario's brain was stuck on a loading screen as he shrugged and said in a Patrick voice "I don't get it."

Mr Puzzles slammed open the door and turned on his screens. "What is going on here!? Why aren't people rating my masterpiece!" He looked closely at the Rapunzel parody going on and saw the characters confused. Next to them was a dysfunctional Smg4 that was speaking in random keys. "Ugh. Right. I forgot. Now that Smg4 has been transferred, he can't be casted in my shows anymore." Mr Puzzles tried to use his finger laser to fix everything, but it fizzed out.

"What!? Not again!" He quickly checked the screens when a scene from last week caught his eyes. He was dragging Smg4 over to the secret room and Mario had followed, unintentionally seeing the whole plan. How he strapped Four to the machine and shocked the living hell out of him. His hyper realistic face glitched out of control as his anger boiled over.

"No...not again...I've had enough of him running my shows. He is going to mess up my whole plan if I DON'T GET RID OF THAT SELFISH BRAT!" He quickly ran out the door and down the hallway.

"Keep trying!" Mario kept pulling at the tubes on the machine as Four warned him "We have to get out of here before Mr Puzzles finds out!" They soon found out he had already discovered their little revolution when he bust through the door and said "MARIOOOOO!!!" The two instantly stiffened as he grabbed Mario by the throat and said "YOU HAVE INTERFERED IN MY PLANS FOR THE LAST TIME!"

His grip got stronger in rage as he yelled "NOW I'M GOING TO CHOKE YOU UNTIL YOU DIE! HOPEFULLY THAT WILL TEACH YOU A LESSON!" Four became increasingly worried as he used every last bit of strength to pull through and cried out "Let him go please! He's my friend!"

"Friend...FRIEND!? YOU THINK I DIDN'T WANT FRIENDS WHEN I WAS YOUNGER! WELL GUESS WHAT, WE DON'T ALWAYS GET WHAT WE WANT IN LIFE DO WE!? AND SOMETIMES WE ALL HAVE TO MAKE SACRIFICES TO GET THERE!" He let Mario go for a second to flip the switch on the machine and more waves of shocks went through Four's body.

"And you will be one of them." He then turned around with his finger gun. "And so will...him?" Mario had gotten up and was running out the door. "Oh great." He sighed and gave himself a pep talk. "Get a hold of yourself Mr Puzzles. Control your temper." After a few deep breaths, he looked back at Smg4 and his deep, etching scars. "It will all be worth it. Just you wait."

...

It was the same as before. Static eyes and the crew floating in the dimension where a certain TV lived. Smg3 was the first to regain his body as he groaned "Ugh...my head..." His friends soon followed, clutching their aching heads. "Guys...what's going on?" Meggy spoke up "I can't remember. The last thing I saw was the power switch in the hotel basement and..."

All of them got some serious deja vu. Tari spoke up "Is this...who I think it is." Three looked at their surroundings and said "Without a doubt." He shouted "SHOW YOURSELF TV FREAK!" A mild chuckle could be heard as the guy of the hour appeared before their very eyes. "Looking for me?"

Meggy got visibly upset and asked him "Now what do you want with us? Haven't you already learned your lesson!?" He leaned his TV box against his hand in pleasure and said "Apparently not. I thought I made it perfectly clear that I'm not going anywhere until I get the fame I so desperately deserve."

Three was getting furious. This insane man always chasing them for views. Why can't he just leave them alone already. "WE DON'T GIVE A CRAP WHAT YOU WANT! AND AS LONG AS WE HAVE A SAY IN THIS, WE REFUSE TO BE YOUR ACTORS!"

"Yeah! Leave us alone!" Tari said, backing up her friend.

Mr Puzzles rolled his eyes and said "I'd think about that twice if I were you." He changed the channel and everyone watched in horror as all the screens played a recording of Four trapped in the machine, grieving in pain with pink cracks along his face. "I will only tell you this one time. If you do anything that interferes or ruins my shows, then I'd have to take unnecessary cautions." He directed his attention to one of his cast members and told him "I'm specifically talking to you Smg3. I'd hate for Smg4 to be-" He gestured a slit neck motion with his hand that instantly made Three's eyes widen.

"DON'T YOU DARE LAY A FINGER ON HIM!"

"Too late. The plan has already been set in motion and Smg4 is already strapped to my machine. Once I have fully controlled him, I will combine his knowledge with my skills and then nothing will stop me from achieving the highest ratings." He took out a remote and flipped on the playback of Mario escaping from him. "Not even that...pesky plumber." He stayed quiet for a minute and then turned back around.

"NOW LET'S GET BACK TO THE SHOW!"

Bob retorted "YOU'RE CRAZY MAN. ONLY A MILLION DOLLARS COULD MAKE ME GO BACK THERE." He was hoping Mr Puzzles would bribe him, but he just scooped them up and dropped them back into the TV boxes. "Don't forget who's got creative control of your real life." (sorry dear viewers, no song this time)

Three dropped down into the city of New Haven, Connecticut as he slammed face first into the sidewalk. "Ow! Could have at least shown a little decency..." He picked himself up, but found that he was alone this time. No Smg4 to accompany him this time. "Right...Don't worry Four. I won't let him hurt you."

He felt a hand on his shoulder as he immediately freaked out and flung the person over his shoulder into the ground, only to find it was..."Luigi?" The green Italian held his head dizzily. "Mama mia...I'll warn you next time."

"Luigi!? Where the hell have you been!?"

"I..don't know. Last thing I remember was being in some wacky fairytale and the next I was transported here. Um...where are we?" Three took notice of the surroundings as it was night time. "How should I know?" Luigi mumbled "I don't like this...can we leave now." Three remembered how the last time him and Four jumped channels it was by a portal. Not the ones he and his partner made, but ones conjured by Mr Puzzles.

"Well...we'd have to find a portal. See any?" Luigi cautiously looked around shook his head. "No?" Three rolled his eyes and said "No wonder Mario doesn't bring you on every adventure. You're downright useless." The green Italian looked at him with sad eyes and bawled his eyes out on the ground. Three ignored him and stepped over to look down street corners, but it was hard to tell. Did you ever notice how all streets look the same at night?

Three groaned and said "Look. If we want to get out of here, we'll need to work together. Let's just walk around and try to find a portal that's shaped like a TV screen. Got it?" Luigi was still crying, but he gave a thumbs up. "Good. Now let's go." He started walking down the sidewalk as Luigi rolled alongside, still curled up, crying. "Just so you know. This isn't because I like you or anything...I'm just doing this for Four." Luigi's sobs got louder as Three covered his ears. This really made him miss Smg4. At least he wasn't whining like a spoiled brat...most of the time.

Mario kept opening doors. Mr Puzzle's production building was like a giant maze. Each time he would open a door and some weird movie thing like a boxing glove or a jump scare would pop out. "Smg4? Is that you? Noooo."

"Smg4? Is that you? Noooo."

"Smg4? Is that you? Noooo."

Meggy had landed by a beautiful lake. It was actually really nice and peaceful, except Tari was missing. She began looking behind trees and bushes, calling out "Tari? It will be okay Tari! Mr Puzzles is gone now. Come out please. You're really making me worried." Finally, she heard the soft voice of the blue haired girl. "Are you sure you want to see me Meggy?"

"Yes! Why wouldn't I?"

"It's just...will you promise not to freak out?" Meggy thought it was an odd question, but answered back with simplicity "I promise." Behind her stepped out a beautiful white swan. Probably the prettiest swan Meggy had ever seen. "I look weird don't I?" Did that swan just talk!? Meggy asked with surprise "T-Tari is that...you?"

"Yeah..." She waited for some kind of laughter of mockery until Meggy cried "Tari you're beautiful!" A honk escaped from her swan lips as she said "You really think so?"

"Yeah! But how did you even become a swan?" The bird turned girl thought to herself for a second and shrugged using her wings. "I'm not exactly sure. I was like this since we got here." This had Mr Puzzles written all over it. Meggy knelt down and petted her silky feathers. "Don't worry Tari. I'll find a way to change you back and then we'll get out of here!"

"And save Four right?" Meggy happily nodded and said "Of course! Although, I think Three might beat us to it." She began walking into the forest as Tari flew alongside her, giggling. "You're right Meggy. Three wouldn't let anything bad happen to Four. He cares too much." Meggy then tapped her chin. "I wonder...how do you think Bob and Boopkins are doing?"

Bob had found himself stuck on top of the Notre Dame. He kept shouting down to the people below "HEY! I NEED HELP! I'M STUCK!"

"WON'T YOU HELP A POOR PERSON IN NEED?"

"COME GET ME BEFORE THE CARNIVOROUS BIRDS FEAST ON MY DEAD BODY!"

"OI! WHAT AM I? INVISIBLE!?"

By the time his computer automated voice grew hoarse, Bob sighed and gave up. He slumped down on the balcony and not to long after, he heard the pitter patter of little feet. Quickly, he sprung up. "THANK GOD! I'M SAVED! WHAT TOOK YOU PEOPLE SO-" His eyes shrunk down upon sight of his savior.

"Hi Bob!"

It was Boopkins, but he had a hideous face with a giant wart covering his eye, his eyebrows were all slumped down, and his back looked hunched. "EWWWW! STAY AWAY FROM ME GREMLIN!" Boopkins confusingly came closer, asking "What do you me-" Bob punched him square in the face, knocking him into the wall. When Boopkins recovered, he got up to see Bob hiding in the corner of the balcony, waving a cross around, and yelling "STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU NASTY BEAST! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!"

Boopkins didn't get it, but once he saw his face in a broken mirror that was lying around, he immediately understood. "Oh no! What's happened to me!?" He could see how his face could be mistaken for one of a monster, but Bob was still shaking and holding up the cross. Boopkins carefully approached this time and reasoned "It's okay Bob. It's just me Boopkins. No reason to be afraid."

"WHO CARES WHAT YOU ARE! NO UGLY TOADS IN MY SPACE!"

He gave the cross a power-up and it enlarged in size, as did Boopkins' eyes when Bob raised the giant religious symbol over him. Just as he was about to slam it onto Boopkins, another voice said "Greetings Boopkins. Who's your new friend?" The two crooked their heads around to see a talking gargoyle. "What? Something on my face?" The two began screaming at the top of their lungs, holding each other in fear.

"Ahhhhhhh!!!"

"AHHHHHHH!!!"

...

"And that's how I fended off the evil boos and saved my brother!" Luigi was trying to strike up a friendly conversation with Three, but he just kept ignoring him. "This isn't the time for chit chat!" Three thought. "Doesn't he know what's at stake here?" Truthfully, he was just very worried for Smg4 and it ticked him off that Luigi didn't feel the same. The two kept walking for some time until they finally reached the end of the street and Three couldn't hold it in anymore. He spun around and shouted right into Luigi's face, startling the poor man.

"CUT IT OUT LUIGI! WE'RE TRYING TO GET OUT OF HERE AND RESCUE OUR FRIENDS! NOT MAKE SMALL TALK! AREN'T YOU SCARED FOR YOUR FRIENDS!? FOR YOUR BROTHER!?"

Luigi's expression softened as he said "Of course I'm worried."

"THEN QUIT ACTING LIKE A DARN OPTIMIST! IF YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT THEM THEN START ACTING LIKE IT!"

He then said something that he didn't mean to say...

"I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU HURT HIM!!!"

Luigi took a small step back as Three realized what he just said and quickly covered his mouth. A few tears started to fight their way out as Luigi reached a hand out to make sure Smg3 was okay. Three couldn't let Luigi see him like this and spun around to wipe the tears off with his sleeve. "I..I'm sorry Luigi..." The green italian slowly put a hand on his shoulder and told him "No. I'm sorry Smg3. I didn't know you were feeling that way. I was just trying to cheer us up, but I should have been more considerate."

Three managed to calm down and surprisingly embraced Luigi's comfort. "Let's just take a moment to relax." Three nodded and closed his eyes, taking deep breaths and really taking time to understand the predicament. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

Luigi seemed glad to have soothed his friend's problems, but he was still curious. "No problem, but I just have one more question." Three turned around and crooked his eyelids open. "Hm?"

"Who is him?"

Thank goodness Luigi was too clueless to pick up on that. Three felt his cheeks grow warm and he suddenly looked incredibly awkward, fiddling with his hands a bunch. "I...can't say." Luigi's head raised a little and he asked "Why not? Wouldn't it just be easier to tell me?" Three thought about it for a second and mumbled "It's...someone I like." Luigi perked his ears up, leaning in closer to hear better and said "What?"

"I like someone okay! And I'm very worried for him!"

Luigi was overjoyed by this news. "Really? That's great! What's his na-" Three interrupted him, knowing exactly what he was going to say. "I'm not telling you. It's personal." He puffed his cheeks and crossed his arms when he saw Luigi smiling at him sweetly. "I understand. And don't worry, your secret is safe with me." Three breathed a heavy sigh and said "Thanks man..." The two shook hands when they saw a brightly lit building next to them.

The sign said "Tony's Diner" and it strangely was the only lively place on the block. Both of them knew it was just Mr Puzzles trying to lure them in so they bravely walked into the restaurant, ready for anything Mr Puzzles would throw at them. A waiter showed them to a table and handed menu's. Three was confused as hell, but then he saw someone familiar at their table. "FOUR!?"

Luigi could tell something was sketchy about him and sadly said "I don't think it's really him Three. Mr Puzzles just created a doppelgänger of him." Three's smile soon vanished as he wished it had been the real thing. "But I don't get why Mr Puzzles would make a fake version of Smg4."

Three was getting a weird feeling about this, but Luigi simply dismissed it and hummed to himself. The waiter asked "May I take your order?" Luigi nodded and pointed to a certain dish on the menu. "A plate of spaghetti for us please!"

The waiter ecstatically said "Good choice sir. It's our most popular dish." and went to the kitchen. That's when it all clicked for Three. He facepalmed himself and said "Of course!" Luigi quizzically asked him "What is it? This place seems nice." Once again this guy was being gullible. "That's exactly it Luigi! This TV freak is making us act out popular movie scenes for his shows! And right now he's forcing me and this cheap copy of Smg4 to do the spaghetti kiss from Lady and The Tramp!"

"THAT'S RIGHT! SPAGHETTI FOR THE HAPPY COUPLE!"

Both of them turned to find Mr Puzzles in a chef's hat and apron while wearing one of those curly mustaches and slammed down a plate of delicious spaghetti for them to share. "Bon appetite!" Luigi took a huge gulp as Three shot back "Are you sick or something!? No way in hell am I kissing this phony!" Mr Puzzles twirled his mustache around and said "Oh well that's too bad. It's your choice." He started walking back inside, but then said at the doorway "But if you want to get out, that's the only way."

Three looked absolutely appalled. "I refuse to do this! I had a feeling this was a trap." Luigi quickly caught on and said "Three. You have to do it."

"No way!"

"It's the only way to leave. To save our friends. To save Smg4."

Three stopped being stubborn and felt a bit stressed like he was keeping something in. "It's not like you're kissing the person you've been bottling your feelings up for. It's just Smg4." He didn't know. Smg3 stuttered "A-Actually...it is."

"Huh?"

"The person I was telling you about. That was Smg4."

Luigi gasped and said "Oh...well that's okay. Just imagine you're finally sharing a kiss with him for real." Three began freaking out and said "I can't just imagine that! We're supposed to be rivals! I've accepted him as a friend now, but actually thinking of being something more...it's just...I can't! And if I don't do this then he'll be..." Three stoped rambling and looked at the fake Smg4 with great worry in his eyes. Luigi sighed and said "You don't have to do it if it's too hard for y-"

"I'll do it."

Luigi looked back at him with stunned silence. "But I thought you said-" Three put his hands up and said "I know. I'm just afraid of what he'll say if I confess, but losing him. It makes me feel even worse." Three sucked it up and took out his fork as "Smg4" did the same. They ate in silence until both of them felt a piece of noddle they were sharing. Three shut his eyes tight and tried to imagine sharing a deep kiss with Four after he rescued him. Three spinning him around and Four making that cute little giggle. Then their lips would collide. How passionate it would be, deeply leaning into it. And any emotional scars would just melt away as they felt safe in each other's embrace.

"Three? You can open your eyes now. You did it!"

Smg3's eyelids flickered open as he was back at the restaurant. All the lights were turned off now and the clone was gone. "What happened?" Luigi explained "After you kissed him, the fake Smg4 vanished and this portal appeared." He pointed to a giant TV screen with static in front of them, but Three was still wrapped up in his own little world. "I kissed him..."

Luigi shook him out of it gently and told him "It was just a puppet Three. We still have to save our friends and the real Smg4." Three nodded and came back to reality as both of them jumped through the portal.

Meggy paced back and forth, trying to think of someway to change Tari back. "Why would Mr Puzzles do this to you?" It had to be some form of manipulating them into creating one of his shows. "Now which film features a talking swan?" Tari tapped her beak in thought until she joyfully knew the answer "The Swan Princess!" Meggy quickly agreed. "Yes! If this is based off that story, we just have to wait until night and you'll turn back into a human!" Tari looked up in the sky and the sun didn't even look close to setting.

Meggy noticed as well, but then turned back to see Tari start panicking. "Oh what are we going to do Meggy! We can't leave until we finish the story and by the time we do, Mr Puzzles will have captured all of our friends!"

"It's okay Tari. Just calm down."

"Calm down!? I'M A SWAN! I can't do anything stuck like this and what about Smg4! He's in danger and we need to save him as soon as possible!" She started bawling as Meggy watched tears run down her white cheeks and softly hit the water. "Shhh Tari. Look at me." The swan's sad honks calmed for a second as Meggy knelt down closer to her. "I promise we will find a way to save everyone, including Four, but I need you to be brave and strong for me. Okay?"

The swan sniffed a few times and gave a weak smile. "O-Okay M-Meggy...I'll try." The orange haired girl gave her an assertive look and said "Besides, we've beaten that guy before. We can do it again." Meggy sat down in the grass and told her "How about we talk for a little while to pass the time. Any new games you like to play?"

"Oh...Oh yeah! I love this new racing game! I've already won a couple of trophies in it!"

"Wow! That sounds exciting! Tell me more."

The girls had a nice conversation, learning more about each other while keeping them at ease. They didn't notice how the sun seemed to speed up more and more till the sky was pink and the sun had almost fully gone down. "Wow! It's almost night time already."

"I told you so Tari. Just a few more seconds and you'll be back to your beautiful self again." Meggy can't believe she just said that. Tari smiled sweetly and said "Thank you so much Meggy. I'm so lucky to have a friend like you." The swan fluttered over and threw he wings around Meggy to which she graciously returned the hug. "Always Tari."

The full moon was out now and a flash of light appeared around Tari. When she opened her eyes, she was back in her regular form, waving her hands around to make sure she was alright. "I'm back!" Meggy nodded and said "Yep! Look there's the portal!" She pointed to another TV screen portal in the sky and both girls held hands, running and jumping into it with not a bit of remorse.

Mario wasn't running around frantically anymore, but walking at a steady pace. It took a moment for him to realize this situation was creepy and unnerving to think about. Every time he went around a corner, the next part of the hallway would just have another row of doors to go through and he couldn't tell which one was holding Smg4.

Just wait until he found that evil TV man. He was really going to teach him a lesson this time. He could already hear the sounds of him crying. Wait, that wasn't crying. It sounded like...laughter? Mario heard it from a door at the end of a hallway. If Mr Puzzles was in there, then that must mean "SMG4!!!" Mario bolted down the hallway and swung open the door to find another room instead. One that was lying with multiple monitors all around and Mr Puzzles watching them.

The red Italian slowly backed up and hid behind the door as Mr Puzzles saw Smg3 and Luigi had arrived back in the TV dimension. "Soon the rest of them will escape as well and when they do...I'll be ready for them." He got up from his seat and crooked his head. "Huh...why's the door open?" He shrugged it off and headed down the hallway while Mario clasped his hands around his mouth, being careful not to breathe.

Finally when he was gone, Mario allowed himself a moment to catch his breath and looked inside the room. Many monitors were playing the previous shows and movies that Mr Puzzles had forced the crew to do, but then he saw the one Mr Puzzles was observing that had Smg3 and Luigi. He pressed his entire face against the screen and cried out "SMG3! LUIIIGGIIII!"

The two became startled as they saw fat cheeks pressing on a screen in front of them. "Mario?" Luigi was overjoyed to see his brother was still in one piece. "MARIO! YOU'RE OKAY!" His brother waved and said "Hello Luigi! The toilet is clogged! Could you go fix that while Mario talks with Smg3?" Three rolled his eyes and said "Listen Mario. We're still stuck in here so we need you to find a way to get us out. Have you found Smg4 yet?"

"No, but Mario's working on it!"

"Mr Puzzles told us that he wants to control him and use his knowledge for himself. You've got to find Four before that happens or I swear I will break out of this TV and kick your butt!"

"Okie dokie!"

Mario raced off while Three called out "Wait! Where is- and he's gone." Luigi assured Three "Don't worry. My brother can handle this." They then heard some crashing sounds from the other side of the TV. "I hope..."

"Wait! I'm not going to hurt you!" Boopkins calmed down from his screaming and asked "You're not?" Bob was still majorly freaked out and kept screaming at the top of his lungs.

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"Didn't you hear me? I said I'm not going to hurt you."

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"Would you please shut up."

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Finally the gargoyle had enough and kicked Bob right in the private area. "OW MY OVARIES!" With that out of the way, the gargoyle cleared his throat and said "As I wanted to say, are you finally going to go down and meet the people of Paris?" Boopkins and Bob looked at each other in confusion and both said in unison "What?" The stone statue pointed down below and said "For the festival? Don't you want to go?" Bob's suddenly became very intrigued and asked "A PARTY!? ARE THERE GOING TO BE LADIES AND BEER?"

"Uh...I guess girls will be there, but I don't know about that last one. It's the Feast of Fools. I thought you wanted to go Boopkins." The fish tried to piece things together while Bob placed a blade on his shoulder and said "OH DEFINITELY! THIS PIECE OF CRAP IS THE KING OF FOOLS!"

"You really think he could be the king of fools!? That's such a tremendous honor!"

"YEAH SURE. WATCH THIS."

Bob then kicked Boopkins off the balcony as he fell down to the ground. Bob jumped off after him and he fell on his groin. As the two recovered from the massive fall, the sounds of cheery music, smells of delicious food, and the laughter of merry amusement instantly hit them. "OOOOO I'M COMING FOR YOU ALCOHOL!" He was about to take off when Boopkins stopped him. "Bob wait! We need to find a way out of here so we can stop Mr Puzzles from hurting our friends!" 

"WHY WOULD I DO THAT?"

"Because it's the right thing to do and I know that deep down inside of you there is good in your heart that wants to do the right thing because it's nice and-"

Halfway through his monologue, Boopkins noticed that Bob had already ran off, ignoring everything he said. Typical of him to do so. Bob immediately bowled over half the crowd to check out the party. The moment Boopkins made himself visible by yelling for Bob, everyone swiveled their heads around and stared at him silently. "Oh hey guys! I'm just trying to get to my fri-" Once again, Boopkins found himself being cut off as the crowd erupted into thunderous applause and held him over their heads, throwing him onto stage. Some guy put on a king's crown and robe on him and the people cheered "King of fools! King of fools!"

Bob was looking at the portion table to be heavily disappointed that the only alcohol being served was wine, but in no way was he drinking that. He then heard the chanting as he turned around and saw Boopkins being glorified and worshiped. Bob thought "WHAT IDIOTS. THIS TURD DESERVES TO BE BULLIED. ESPECIALLY WITH THAT FACE." He took a tomato, stood up in front of everyone, and shouted "HEY LOSERS!" Everyone turned as Bob threw a tomato at the poor fish, staining his face with tomato juice. Everyone gasped and mummed around how it wasn't a mask.

"OF COURSE IT'S NOT A MASK. COME ON EVERYONE JOIN IN!" He continued throwing fruits and veggies at him and all the people did the same, pelting him with food. "S-Stop i-it!" Bob was getting a good laugh out of this, but soon realized he had enough. The crowd didn't think so though. Bob was starting to get a little annoyed as he pushed and pulled people, trying to get their attention.

"ENOUGH ALREADY! QUIT ACTING STUPID! THIS IS WHY I DON'T DRINK BLOOD JUICE!"

Finally, he looked up to where his best friend was cowering and fear and rushed up to the stage, blocking him with his cloak and yelled "EVERYONE STOP IT AND SHUT UP! I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO GETS TO DECIDE WHEN TO BULLY BOOPKINS!" All the people suddenly stopped and drooped to the ground like mindless robots. "THE HELL?" A TV screen portal appeared behind them and they got sucked into it, being thrown out back into the TV dimension.

Boopkins felt his face for a few seconds as it didn't feel lumpy anymore. "Hey! My face is back to normal! And look, there's our friends!" He pointed over to the group where they concernedly discussed how to find Mario and Smg4. Tari was the first to notice and said "There you guys are! We were getting worried!"

"I THOUGHT WE WERE IN THE FOOL'S CRAP!"

Meggy turned and explained "Oh we were all trapped in different parodies like last time, but all we had to do was act out the scene to escape!" Boopkins and Bob quickly pieced it together and the fish replied "Awwww it's because you saved me like the gypsy girl..." Bob had his own idea that was different than what Boopkins thought. "I THOUGHT IT WAS BECAUSE I STARTED THE IDEA OF THROWING STUFF AT YOU!"

"Anywayyyy...my best bet to get out of here is finding channel 999 again, unless Mario calls us back with a better way."

Mario kept busting through walls and doors, determined to find his best friend. That and Smg3 was threatening to kill him if anything happened to Smg4. He still wasn't having any luck until he found a door he had never seen before. It was labeled "Stage" and seemingly boarded up. That didn't stop Mario as he just t-posed and phased through the door. There were no lights on and a small podium with a button was in the middle. Mario couldn't pass up the opportunity to push a big red button, but his mind wondered "Is this a good idea?" The only thing inside his head was a spinning Mario head so the red Italian didn't think too much of it and pressed the button for the scene to change.

He now found himself in the snowy woods with a sign behind him. This was the set for the Anastasia movie Mr Puzzles put on. Mario pressed the button again and he now found himself in the middle of Verona from Romeo and Juliet. Mario kept pressing the button as it flipped through a bunch of sets until one caught his eyes and he stopped. It was the game show set from that couples fanatic except the studio was totally abandoned. Mario thought he could hear something behind the wall as he remembered it now.

He tried no clipping and BLJ, but those didn't seem to work. Mr Puzzles really didn't want him to go anywhere near Smg4 did he. Mario tried to use his big brain for another solution, but that just overloaded him to the point where he caught on fire and began running around. After a few minutes of this, he tripped and saw a vent. "Oooooo" Mario gripped and pulled the door off, scurrying through the vents. Somehow in this life or death situation, Mario got the need to hum a catchy song in the midst of all this.

He didn't pay attention to the floor and fell through an opening. Now he was back where he started. In a black void...which means... Mario quickly called out "SMG4!?" There was no response. "SMG44444!!??" A weak and timid voice croaked out "M-Mario..." Smg4 was still stuck in that machine, looking worse than ever. This time the cracks were glowing and had almost covered all of his body. His eyes became drained from all the pressure and his body felt incredibly exhausted. Mario became extremely concerned as he ran over and tried pulling apart the machine. "LET MARIO'S BEST FRIEND GO!!!"

"I-Its no use Mario..." Four squeaked out. "Just get out of here and save our friends..."

"NO! MARIO DOESN'T WANT TO SAY GOODBYE!"

"Mario...please..."

A shadowy figure approached behind him. "MARIO! WATCH OUT!" The Italian's reflexes were too slow as Mr Puzzles grabbed Mario with a crooked smile. "What did I say about coming back here...?" Mario gulped as Mr Puzzles chuckled and said "I am so close...so close to getting what I want AND NO CROSSEYED, DOWN RIGHT STUPID, RETARDED IDIOT IS GOING TO MESS IT UP FOR ME!" He threw Mario into another TV as he began pounding on the glass. "Let Mario out! Mario doesn't like small spaces!"

"GOOD! YOU ARE GOING TO WATCH EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS GET DESTROYED BY SMG4 HIMSELF!"

"Wait what!?" Smg4 never heard anything about fighting his friends when Mr Puzzles controlled him. It was too late to do anything now though. His body was worn out and his last hope is imprisoned. Mr Puzzles flipped the switch and said "NOW RISE MY PARTNER! STOP FIGHTING YOUR PAST SELF!" This was the worst shock yet. Smg4 tried his best, but nothing could be done. Mario watched in horror as Four screamed out with his eyes bloodshot and the pink cracks spreading everywhere.

...

The crew started looking for channel 999 when all the TV's started flickering and went to static. "Wh-What's happening..?" Tari nervously asked. A live recording of Mr Puzzles appeared making Tari jump back. Everyone else prepared themselves, but it didn't seem like Mr Puzzles was talking to them, but more so everyone in the world.

"Greetings viewers. I have exciting news! My partner is finally ready to go public in the show business. Just imagine what better movies and shows we can create together."

The camera moved over to a curtain as Mr Puzzles proudly said "Give it up for the new co-host of Puzzlevision, SMG4 himself with his new debut!" The curtain rose as everyone immediately froze in terror. It was the insane version of himself with bright pink pupils that matched the cracks on his face. Three felt tears rise up and a huge lump in his throat. He collapsed onto his knees as he didn't even try to fight the waterworks. "No..."

Mr Puzzles swung an arm over his partner's shoulder and said "Let's give him a huge round of applause!" Three's eyebrows furrowed as he yelled "GET YOURSELF AWAY FROM HIM YOU BUSTED PIECE OF TV CRAP! I'LL KILL YOU! YOU HEAR ME! I'LL DESTROY YOU!" Obviously, the TV man couldn't hear him, but Meggy stopped him from lunging forward. "Three calm down. I'm just as upset as you are, but you have to get a hold of yourself." He didn't care. "LET ME GO SQUID! HE HAS FOUR! I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING!"

Mr Puzzles continued on "Our next performance, Smg4 will be destroying his former members with our special audience, Mario!" He played a recording of Mario banging on the TV, screaming "Let Mario out! The TV man tricked him!" Luigi cried out "MARIOOOOOO!"

All the TV's started to glow white as Mr Puzzles appeared with a devilishly handsome grin on his face. "Get ready folks! It's time for the Smg4 crew's retirement!" The insane Smg4 slowly walked behind him, ready to defeat his former friends. "Are you ready Mario?" The Italian was furiously banging on the glass. "Ugh don't bother. That glass is almost impossible to break. It's not like the power of friendship or anything will help you escape."

He hopped into a theatre chair with a big bucket of popcorn and put on some 3D glasses. "ACTION!" Insane Smg4 launched forward at Meggy, who narrowly dodged his attack. "Smg4! Snap out of it!" He didn't listen and targeted Boopkins next, who was blocked by Bob with his samurai swords. "DUDE! QUIT FALLING INTO YOUR EMO PHASE!" Insane Smg4 called upon some tentacle arms to aid him in the fight.

Mario was still banging as hard as he could, but it was no use. He fell to the ground out of exhaustion. There was nothing left for him to give. Three couldn't stand by and let this happen. As Smg4 loomed over the girls, Tari cowering and Meggy shielding her, Three kicked Four down. "I don't want to have to do this to you dude, but I can't let you hurt my friends!" Three pushed though the pain of fighting the one he loved and took out a gun, firing at the insane Smg4, who used the tentacles to swallow the bullets.

He created one behind Three as it knocked him down in a fatal swoop. He laid there, stunned on the ground and looked up to find the insane Smg4 looking down at him, ready to strike. "I'm not sure if you're in there Four, but you have to stop this. Don't listen to whatever that freak has told you. I'm here for you and so are our friends. Don't take away the ones you love." He hoped Four would listen to him like last time, but he didn't. No eye twitching. No fighting the control. Not even a tiny flinch of remorse. Mr Puzzles laughed and said "Nice try! Your stupid speech won't snap him out of it this time!"

Mario then felt something resonate in him. He looked down and saw a blue glow around his hands. Curious, he hit one against the TV screen and it began to crack. Mario was overjoyed and called out "SMG3! Keep going! Smg4 is helping Mario thanks to your gay speech!" Three was surprised to see the blue glow that was aiding the fatso in escape. "I knew you were still in there..." Three whispered as the insane Smg4 gritted his teeth and tried to land a punch, but Three grabbed hold of Four's wrists. "You helped me change for the better so I'll do the same for you."

The blue light grew brighter as Mario kept banging on the screen. "Hey! What are you doing!?" Mr Puzzles sat up, wondering how this was possible. "Quick guys! Say something to Four!" Three instructed the rest of the crew as he was still holding back Four's fists.

"You're such a good friend Smg4!"

"You've made our lives better!"

"You support us all and never give up!"

"YOU MIGHT BE AS COOL AS ME SOMEDAY."

Mario kept breaking through the screen as he stuck his head through. "NO!" Mr Puzzles leapt up from his chair and yelled "SHUT THEM UP! I'LL DEAL WITH MARIO!" The insane Smg4 nodded as he threw Smg3 and swung at the rest of his friends. Meggy pulled out her splatshot, Bob's arms turned to bazookas, and Tari got her arm ready. Boopkins was there too I guess. Luigi was kinda just trembling in the corner, but he couldn't just cower while his friends were fighting for their lives. "No...I CAN DO THIS! I AM A MAN!" His body transformed into his buff, powerful form as he strangled a tentacle with his bare hands.

Mario broke through the screen and fell flat on his face, seeing Mr Puzzles stand before him. "Well now it looks like it's just you and me!" His hand was filled up with zaps of energy. Mario got an angry look and took out a bat. "This is for Smg4!" They two began clashing with each other while the crew was fighting against the corrupted Four.

Finally, the insane Smg4 had enough and pinned his friends to the wall, determined to finally end this for good. Mr Puzzles was about to get the drop on Mario when he turned and said "Nighty night!" swinging the bat as hard as he could that it broke Mr Puzzles' screen and he fell down.

Mario loomed over when Mr Puzzles chuckled and said "Looks like you're out of time Mario." He looked over and saw his friends were in danger. While he was distracted, Mr Puzzles got up and kicked him to the ground, pointing his finger laser right at him. "Heh...looks like your friends are your biggest weakness. When I finally defeat you, I will prove to the world that I'm not just some NOBODY!" Mario cowered in fear until he heard what the TV man had said and felt a guilt rise up in him. Was it wrong for him to feel remorse like this? No, Mr Puzzles had hurt him and his friends. He deserved to be destroyed...didn't he?

Mario then remembered what Mr Puzzles had said earlier. His past. His horrible past. No. He didn't deserve this. He deserved something better. Friends. "Mario's so sorry." Mr Puzzles looked at him with a perplexed expression "Huh?"

"The TV guy had no friends. He just wants others to love him. Mario is-a right?"

Mr Puzzles stopped and retracted his finger. "No..you don't understand. I never had friends. I never did." Mario got up and got closer as he calmly said Go on. Mario is listening." "What are you doing Mario!?" Meggy confusingly asked. "My parents never believed in me no matter what I did. All I wanted was for someone out there to love me. And I wanted it so badly that I did...unspeakable things. I watched TV every minute, every hour, every day. Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore that I cut off my head and replaced it with a TV. But the pain never went away. Once I learned about your show...I was obsessed that I did...so many terrible things." He looked like he was on the verge of tears as Mario held his hand and whispered "Let it out." Mr Puzzles fell to pieces, breaking down.

"Oh Mario! What have I done! I'm repeating my same horrible actions! I've done so many awful things for fame and respect! I'm so selfish! All I wanted was a friend, but now because of me I've made too many mistakes! I've blown it! Nobody will ever be my friend now! I'm trapped!"

Mario couldn't believe he was seeing this egotistical TV man, the star of the show, the one who never seemed to care about anybody but himself, crying...

"I'm sorry Mario..."

He then felt someone's arms around him, he looked up to see that his sworn enemy was hugging him. "You...why?" Mario nuzzled his head into Mr Puzzles shoulders and said "Because Mario wants to be your friend."

"You do...even after all I've done to you and your crew." The Italian nodded and Mr Puzzles was taken aback. "I don't know what to say..." He softly embraced the hug and whispered "Thank you." As they pulled away, he looked up to his screens to see that people were actually rating his show and were saying such nice things. "My..my fans?" He smiled sweetly, but Mario pointed down to the still insane Smg4. "Can you please fix Mario's best friend."

"Oh. Yes of course!" He snapped his fingers and Smg4 returned to normal. The crew were let go and allowed a moment to recover. Smg3 looked up to see Smg4 blinking and touching his face. "I...I'm back?" Three was so relieved that he ran up and tightly hugged Four. Even more than Mario did with Mr Puzzles. "Four! I'm so glad your okay! I thought I lost you forever!" Smg4 was confused at first, but kindly wiped away the small tears in the corners of Three's eyes and said "Me too. I was so worried I would never see you again." He held Four's face and calm spoke in his ear "I'm not going anywhere."

Mr Puzzles and Mario watched the heartwarming scene as he sighed and said "Well, I guess let's bring this to a close." Mr Puzzles faced the audience and said "Thank you all so much my lovely viewers! But I'm afraid this is the end. Thank you all for your support and my...friends here for helping me realize the importance of my life." He said goodbye and told the crew "You might want to close your eyes for this." They did as they were instructed and a bright light filled the scene around them.

...

Upon opening them again, the crew found themselves back in the streets of Paris, except it was dark. Mr Puzzles bashfully said "Well I guess until we meet again." He took a bow and started walking away, but Mario still felt like there was more he could do. "Wait!" Mr Puzzles turned around as he asked "Would...TV man perhaps...consider staying here." His eyes rose in surprise for such an offer. The crew didn't really get it either on why Mario would want this villain to join them.

"Mario...would like to spend time with...Mr Puzzles?" He thought about it for a second and said "If...you want? I guess."

"YIPPEE!" Mario threw himself around Mr Puzzles again as he tried escaping from his grasp. "Okay. That's enough! Quit it!" The Italian would not let go as Mr Puzzles sighed and trudged back to the hotel. Meggy watched them and turned back to the others with a raised eyebrow. "I'm not sure what that was about, but I guess if Mario wants to give him a chance, we will too." Four smiled and said "Yeah. Someone's taught me to look for the good in everyone." He immediately narrowed his eyes on Three, who gave him a playful roll of the eyes. "You're lucky that I've missed you." Four felt blush on his cheeks and looked over to a bridge that seemed eerily familiar.

"Three, can we take a walk?" He smiled and said "Sure." The blue boy made some cute squealing noises as he started tugging on Three's arm and Three said "We'll see you guys in the morning." Meggy waved with a reply of "Alright!" as she and the others went back to the hotel.

Thank you for watching Puzzlevision!

Chapter 14: Confessing Under the Moonlight

[phlurrii]

What type of humour would you say everyone had? Cause I can see Missingno. having a very dark sense of humuor when kids aren't around, and Meau's humour mainly consisting of inside jokes

Tell me, am I wrong?

Ooooo I love this question,,

Okay so Missingno. actually had a very goofy sense of humor, he’s the type that will find slipping on a banana peel to be peak comedy. It’s all super goofy, punny, dumb things that tickle him into giggles. He gets very excitable about it! It’s very much as if he doesn’t truly grasp humor in general, so find the goofy things just in life to he such a thrill ;3

Meay is actually the one with the darker sense of humor, of which, Missingno can and will laugh at it. Partly due to shock and partly due to finding it genshin rot funny. But he will laugh more at dumb things her, Meau is just a bit jaded and seen too much so it’s a gentle coping mechanism for them both.

Ody, in turn, will also end up with a dark sense of humor as he gets older, as a kid tho it will horrify me a wee bit.

Circe is unintentionally funny, she is snarky and witty, but when she actively tries to be funny, she fails miserably and nobody understands her humor. Except her future wife, who will always laugh at her painfully bad jokes. Their just bad, not even funny bad.

Flurry is just dumb and Puns, his sense of humor is a melting pot of everything. He will laugh at just about anything, except Circe, and generally is just goofy like Noe!

Lastly, Deca has a more messed up sense of humor than anybody else. Even Meau, which she’s a wee bit concerned about given he may have existed for almost as long as she has… but he’s only been a conscious, thinking, feeling critter for a few months.

This whole thing gives me a lot of ideas so I’m gonna do doodles some I think XD

[brsb4hls]

Right, this will probably be one of the most wank-inducing polls ever, but I just gotta do it.

Personal opinion and explanation (kinda) under the cut.

Here it comes:

Why do I ask?

Well, to me it seems pretty clear Jensen seems ok with Misha getting his 15 minutes and acting what was important to him, but does not want to get dragged into it.

He has become more fan positive, but with the occssional foot in mouth and mocking.

I keep seeing takes like 'if Jensen has any say in the revival, Destiel will be fully canon' and I absolutely do not see it this way from what I've witnessed.

Dean is Jensen's most popular character and I feel what Jensen likes most about him apart from emotional depth and the hero thing is that Dean is 'cool' in old people terms. (Jensen is 'old people' kinda compared to some of his fan base).

He f.e. loved the purgatory storyline mostly because he got a rad new jacket and weapons.

He said so himself in an interview.

He wants Dean to be in the spotlight being awesome.

And yes, this will absolutely sound homophobic, but I think that Jensen feels Dean being openly bi would 'ruin' the character for some of his fans.

That doesn't mean Jensen himself is homophobic, he is an actor and interacts positively with queer people, but he has an outdated mindset (most likely due to how he was raised).

I know he played a bisexual character once, but nobody outside of his hartcore fanbase remembers that and he did not act it out on screen. It was all lip service and mostly about Marilyn anyways (talking about 'Blonde' here).

And then it never happened again.

In 'The Boys' he was so painfully straight it almost did not fit the show.

So I simply don't think it would fit his 'portfolio' (he is often type-cast anyways) in his eyes.

Then in 'The Winchesters' Cas wasn't even mentioned. It was all about nostalgia. And Jensen easily could have slipped in a neutral acknowledgement.

So, let me know what you think and why.

Also, no, again, I don't want to imply Jensen's homophobic, he is just socialized in a certain way and has an age where he grew up with 'gay jokes' being peak comedy.

This is all subjective speculation, I do not know that man personally, so I'm aware I have no actual clue like the most of us.

I'm just interested in how people come to completely different conclusions.

[varian-is-the-best]

I'm torn between tall and strong Varian.

Sure, one thing doesn't exclude the other.

But there's a bit more to it.

I genuinely like shows of strength like...

Like Clark lifting a box of dumbells that Lois couldn't even budge and crushing a cabinet when he throws it away. My Adventures with Superman.

Or Tarzan pushing a desk with one hand that Jane couldn't even move. The Legend of Tarzan.

Or Raphael casually carrying all his brothers. Rottmnt.

With those big, brawny characters that's expectable.

BUT.

Seeing small characters do that, that's so much funnier.

Pippi casually lifting her horse with one hand is so cute. Pippi Longstocking.

Or Velma running with the whole gang stacked on her. Scooby Doo.

Or Mikey carrying Raph and Leo on his shoulders like parrots. Rottmnt.

That, is peak comedy, pure gold.

That's why I like fanart of Varian being incredibly strong when he's shorter than anyone.

Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of Varian growing into a giant, but when it's about him being strong, I think it's much cuter when he's small and nobody expects it.

The whole appeal that makes it really amusing is, at least to me, that nobody who doesn't know him really expects it.

Varian as an 7-foot tall adult lifting a huge rock, sure, why not, but 5-foot adult Varian lifting a horse and everyone doing the Pikachu face, that is much better.

So, I'd say it depends on my mood. Both are nice, so why settle on just one? Do it differently each time instead of one single monotony.

[majorleagueamateur]

DISCLAIMER ⚠️:

I did NOT make these doodles by myself, rather HEAVILY trace what I can, then figure the rest of the drawing myself OUTSIDE of the screenshot. The only input I have done is Usopp’s change in pose, Luffy’s arm and shoulder, Zoro’s lower body in the standing doodle, and the coloring. Again, NOT COMPLETELY DONE BY ME, MAINLY SCREENSHOTS

PURPOSE:

I wanted to be able to practice coloring both digitally and traditionally (with markers). The traditional version has been posted on my side, so check it out here if you want to know more details about it. Also also, gotta make fanart now. Nobody really checks my OC shit anymore on here 🤷‍♂️

With that said...

HOLY SHIT, IM GETTING INTO FANART NOW, OK GUYS, JEEEEEZ 😡

As far as my One Piece experience... I GET IT NOW GUYS. REALLY likable main cast, ADORABLE dynamics, SURPRISINGLY good writing, the comedy actually HITS... it’s PEAK. I just started watching it cause my sis wanted me to and the arc I was watching for Shippuden was DOOKIE, so I needed a pallete cleanser. And man... I didn’t just get a pallete cleanser, I got a FULL COURSE MEAL. Rn, I’m only in Drum Kingdom and I’m still pretty early in the show... but I think it is SO much better than Naruto.

Looking forward to drawing more fanart, and MUCH more so for One Piece fanart 🏴‍☠️✨

[bluebeewings]

I started Our Flag Means Death FURIOUS and bitter. I was still high on the Always Sunny train and feeling that no other type of humor would ever compare to sunny’s humor and as I watched the pilot I was seething with anger cause I was already feeling the show wouldn’t live up to what I thought it could be. Nobody was talking about it and there were a few episodes to come out, so I hadn’t even heard of it before (my friend told me it was a Taika pirate show and we should see what was it about). My first impression of Stede was that he was gay, but that the show wouldn’t possibly go there and that I’d eventually be disappointed when it’s not the case. Secondly, Jim. The moment I saw them I thought trans, but then again, how often it is that the trope of “dressing as a guy to blend in” leads to actual trans rep? I saw all the queer allegories, the queer undertones but honestly thought the show wouldn’t deliver. It’s a silly show about pirates, a workplace comedy with a new gimmick. I thought it was fine when I finished the last episode. Maybe a week later (if I recall correctly) I went back to it, giving it another chance. With each subsequent episode, I understood the series more and more. I saw that Jim’s actor was non binary and that gave me hope that the queer undertones was actually intended and thought of.

Then of course, Blackbeard. Episode four was an eye opener. Firstly I thought “people are gonna ship the hell out of these two” (me included) but I was still skeptical. But then… The parallels with Mary and Blackbeard? I thought I was loosing my mind. But it just got gayer and gayer (Taika’s heart eyes like, they’re impossible not to notice). But it was still in my mind that it couldn’t be the case, how can a show be this unapologetically queer without being marketed as such??? I’m always on the lookout for queer stuff so I’d certainly know. Episode 5 went on and we saw Lucious and Black Pete as an item and I took that as confirmation that nothing would happen between Stede and Ed (like, come on, we got a non binary character and a gay couple, if there’s more than it’s officially for the gays) but then!!! The moonlight scene! I legit thought I was going insane thinking to myself this is the most romantic shit I’ve seen I can’t believe this is happening is it really real or am I this delusional??? I was in it now and couldn’t stop my binging the show. With each subsequent episode I got more and more sure it was really a romantic comedy and let me tell you the rush and the serotonin I felt knowing more and more that for the first time I was getting what I hoped for? Scratch that, something better than what I had hoped for.

There were only 8 episodes available and when I got to Calico Jack everything happened again. I looked at him and though “lol ed’s ex” but thought I wouldn’t be so lucky… Well think again! I was still wondering if it was all some sort of next level queerbaiting but Jack went there and said “nope, we used to fuck” (and for that I’ll be forever grateful of Will Arnett). Then obviously the feet touch aka the most romantic thing to have ever happened in fiction. The first thing I did was to look up people here on tumblr to see if everyone was consuming it with the same eyes as I and let me tell you, watching the fandom start was so cool and I’ll remember those simpler times fondly. We were all wondering what would happen, if there would be a kiss (and people still debating if it was bait or not).

The last two episodes released like a week later and I waited as patiently as I could. The kiss and subsequent break up oh I was in heaven. If there’s something I like is drama and it peaked as Mary realized Stede had come back. Ohh and episode ten hm! Delicious. Anyways after the kiss everyone and their mom knew that it was not only canonically queer but an inherently queer show, the fandom grew in unprecedented ways. I lasted like four months before I quietly got away cause big fandoms intimidate me. Too much content for me to process and way too much discourse… But I’ll be here for this season because the brainrot is real and I’m exited to see the show being even more unapologetically queer and more explicitly than ever as a love story.

I’m just really happy to have stumbled upon this show without knowing a thing and finding out in real time that it’s one of the queerest shows in existence.

[girl4music]

JOLENE: “I was born at the exact same time as you.”

WAVERLY: “Twins?”

JOLENE: “In a sick sense. The universe craves balance. And you came and arrived out of the light, and I... I crawled out of the muck.”

WAVERLY: “I'm sorry. I'm sorry.”

JOLENE: “Everything good was given to you. Freedom, flaxen hair, family. And what did I get? I got shunned, starved... reviled! Oh... But we're equals now. Because nobody loves you either.”

WAVERLY:

*holding the knife to her, shaking, hesitating*

“Why don't you do it?”

JOLENE: “Haven't you been listening?! We're linked, you idiot!!! Do it, you useless piece of skin.”

WAVERLY: “Wynonna! Wynonna loves me.”

JOLENE: “No.”

WAVERLY: “Yes. Yes. Always. And... and despite what happened tonight, I know... I know that Nicole does too. And... and... and Doc and... Jeremy and... oh, Mama.”

JOLENE: “You're lying to yourself.”

WAVERLY: “No.”

JOLENE: “You don't bring them a single thing!”

WAVERLY: “I'm here. I'm here and I stay... And I love them back and... And I... I never, never, never give up on them.”

*throws the knife away*

My god ‘Jolene’ is one hell of an episode. The way it plays with the tone - shifting it from comedy to drama and back again depending on what the demon wants to make the characters and environment feel like. The way it’s a really clever narrative for addressing the serious and controversial themes of mental illness, suicide and domestic abuse. Using this demon that can make people experience things according to the way she wants them to. Using techniques and effects of gaslighting and psychological conditioning. Genius!

Everything the demon says to Waverly. Calling her a waste, convincing her that everybody hates her now and she should just relieve them of their burden by taking herself out. Jolene stirring the shit with all the other characters that actually love her, ever so subtly sprinkling in bits of information that makes each character question each other, puts them on edge, makes them distrust and attack. Especially Waverly.

And the way Waverly finds her power to combat her demon by reminding herself that she is loved and that she will fight this demon because she loves them and she knows that they need her. She can’t leave them.

Oooft. It’s a pretty damn impactful episode made all the more emotionally powerful by the insanely amazing performances by Dominique and Zoie.

This is how you do it. This is how you use the supernatural/fantasy genre to tell stories about things that are very significant and substantial in real life. Things that have a harder impact under the surface in feeling than what you actually get to see on screen.

Just masterful show and script writing. I mean you’re watching Waverly stalked and tormented by this demon ‘Jolene’ that’s linked to her spiritual essence and you see it as an external conflict going on but it’s a way to showcase what it’s like for someone that struggles with depression - an internal conflict. And I don’t even know if I’m explaining it well but it’s just exceptional storytelling in character representation and development, and the way they choose to depict all of this in this ‘Jolene’ episode is nothing short of outstanding creative and innovative performance art.

I think it may well be Wynonna Earp’s peak episode.

[yanderehighschool-confessions]

if there's one thing i'll always love about yhs it's about how insane the world is. i feel like some people would find the bizareness to be annoying and inconvenient to write (like how chan was so plot relevant but she's literally a fucking yan sim character so sometimes she gets her name changed in fanfics)

but like... i personally think it's really charming. like you're telling me. PAUL BLART is in the same universe as PEPE THE FROG? and nobody bats an eye at it for more than a second when they first appear? that's actually hilarious!!! that's peak comedy!!!

i love the idea of yhs being so random that it hurts your head to think about. sure it's "bad writing" but they commit to the bit and it's so good everytime. i hate tokyo soul but the minions shit??? that was the weirdest subplot of all time but i'm intrigued???

idk what the point of this is. i just think that the hectic worldbuilding is so fantastically stupid and how it's so confident at the same time. i mean, that's the reason why all the dark parts hit even harder. you wouldn't expect a genuine arc in a series where literally nobody knows how old a character is supposed to be.

-

[rawmeknockout]

https://www.tumblr.com/rawmeknockout/733455126202875904/oh-oh-talking-about-your-fics-without (same anon)

speaking of weird feelings nobody wants to acknowledge, I think it’s funny as hell if there is like. an unspoken tension between the crew mates and the captains, and it’s not like. conflict, it’s just people desperately trying not to find rodimus or megatron hot and yet they do. someone going “oh fuck man ultra magnus gave me a lecture about properly filing reports and now I have several kinks I don’t want to acknowledge.” PEAK comedy

you KNOW they’re all desperately jerking it to the idea of captains meetings, being railed by megatron tyrant style, and getting to fuck rodimus’ prime pussy 😔

they see megatron squinting at data reports on the bridge and think “god his spike must be huge”

[medusas-daughter]

Hotd, episode 9 "the green council"

So many thoughts

First of all I had chills the entire episode. As team black I went in fully expecting to hate it and boy was I wrong. This episode is a masterpiece.

- How many people exactly is Crispin allowed to kill before he suffers consequences?

- Lord Commander Harrold Westerling showing us what true honor is. And honestly, he might as well have removed his cloak, nobody respects his authority, they allowed his knight to draw a sword on him. They don't deserve him.

-I can't believe I'm about to say this, and it is the last time I ever will, but they should have given Aegon what he wanted. Man wanted to disappear, let him. "I'm not suited" if anything, he's self aware.

- Crispin's "women are the image of mother and should be spoken of with reverence" like he wasn't calling Rhaenyra a cunt like 3 weeks ago is peak comedy.

- I did not expect Aemond to explicitly admit he wanted to the crown, and I wonder what kind of king he would have been. Also, this is for me the big difference between team green and team black. Team black love each other unconditionally and fully support one another even behind closed doors. Team Green barely like each other.

- Did Princess Rhaenys just serve us the best line of this entire season "you wish not to be free but to build a window in your prison". Rhaenys just called Alicent a pick me, and I stan.

- I was wrong, the best line goes to Mysaria with "there is no power but what the people allow you to take".

- Ser Erryk said "nope, imma sit this one out, not worth my sweat" and I respect that.

-Alicent finally standing up to her father is slightly satisfying, but it's too little too late, barely registers.

- Aegon being given Blackfyre to carry when he can't even swing a sword is such a waste.

- Larys having a foot fetish is not even 1% surprising.

- "do you love me?" "you imbecile" is the funniest line of this episode.

- Helaena hiding her face in Aemond's shoulder after Aegon was crowned does things to me. Aemond seems to be the only she's comforted by. And the fear in her face when Aegon looked at her, she knows what kind of king he will be.

- speaking of, Alicent, if you wanted your son not to rule with cruelty, you should have taught him that years ago. Slapping him and telling him again and again that he is a challenge simply by breathing and existing. And then expecting him to let his challenger keep breathing? Of course he's not gonna let Rhaenyra live.

- Rhaenys escaping on Meleys wearing full armor was so powerful and satisfying, and Meleys is so beautiful and Rhaenys's armor fitting Meleys's colors, I just love them both so much. But besides the visuals and the bad bitch moment, I'm not actually sure how I feel about this scene, because Rhaenys could have stopped the entire dance with one fire breath. One Dracarys and team black would have been safe. There were no children there, only traitors. She could have taken out all of team green and ended the dance before it began.

- Ewan Mitchell is getting a lot of (well deserved) praise for his portrayal of Aemond. But I would like to take a moment to praise Tom Glynn-Carney as Aegon. He managed to bring a depth and dimension to such a disgusting and icky character and the shift in his eyes when people started cheering for him. The despair when he was begging Aemond to let him disappear. The insecurity when he asked Alicent if she loved him. He played him marvelously.

- Olivia Cooke proved once again how good of an actress she is. Zero notes, 10/10. The resignated disgust during the scene with Larys. The conflict when they discussed murdering Rhaenyra. The fear when Meleys threatened her children. Impeccable.

- Finally, give Ramin Djawadi all of the awards, all of them. My expectations for the soundtrack were already so high after game of thrones, and he still exceeded them.

I will be back with more thoughts when I'm done processing

[glimvinty]

Introducing...meeeeee (tap for better quality)

Currently my only really officially posted writing:

^A brief chronicling of a single night spent at a motel in Arizona. Two normal men---Specter, an imperialist, and Tenebri, a socialist---are on a road trip.

Call me Glim! As I type this I am entering one of those identity pits where I can't remember anything about myself. Uhhhhhhh. I'm going to drink some water to escape the event horizon

Worked! I'm restored!

So what am I here for?

The Wip

Well, this is primarily an art blog where I post about the WIP to end all other WIPs, my magnum opus, my disaster child, my manuscript which is steadily gaining on War and Peace's word count and is currently over 1,000 pages long. Yes, it will be adjusted. Yes, I will have to read the whole thing over again. Because I am a little pitiable, I will be posting art of the characters, snippets of my writing, and some lore! Yes, I do fully intend to publish this. It's been 7+ years in the making.

So what's this WIP about, and dear lord?

It's one of those getting-lost-in-another-world adventure stories, but with several twists and a significant spin on it. It's Wizard of Oz, Alice in Wonderland, Discworld, and Hitchhiker's all put in a blender. If that sounds horrible, imagine writing it! It follows the protagonist Mallory Noire, who is absolutely nobody and fairly rational, as she dodges cults worshipping eldritch horrors, deftly evades transdimensional fascist regimes, eludes the wizard bureaucracy, befriends mad scientists and attempts to survive a whole slew of other...improbable things. Its most major genres are horror, comedy, and surreal fantasy. I'll tag any posts related to it #misticity.

About Me, a Factor of Production!

I have a condition called anisocoria, and basically I'm blind in one eye! I have no idea what I'm missing though, so it's all good, and David Bowie has the same condition, although I was born with mine and he got punched in the face

I'm trans masc and I'm here to support you as well (all queer people)!

I most likely have Asperger's, as my father had it (formally diagnosed) and I display symptoms, but I have never been formally diagnosed myself

I lived in Germany for a year and can speak (abysmal) conversational German, but my native language is English

What Fandoms Am I In/Can You Talk to Me About?

Twin Peaks

Mob Psycho 100

Discworld

Good Omens

Control

RDR

Night Vale

The Magnus Archives

HLVRAI

Hitchhiker's Guide (is anyone out there?)

Any bad old movies. Any of them. I love those and I'm fairly well-versed

What Should You Ask Me About?

Anything, really. If you have any questions about the WIP, just shoot. I've left it pretty vague.

I also want to make this corner of the Internet into a safe place, and a safe place for other people, so if you're ever in need of an encouraging word or two I'm here! I get the feeling often, so I want to be here for people who feel the way I do.

The Just-in-Case Note

Feel free to correct me if I say something dumb or off. I want to stay openminded and learn from my mistakes.

Anyway, keep it shlunky

[fivveweeks]

mx fivveweeks do you think larry's always been a bland sorta guy and only trained his mons (pre-e4, that is) because of all the trainers on his commute or do you think he became a champion rank trainer when he was young but was worn out by life. don't blame him tbh happens to the best of us

I like both tbh!!! I don’t have like a specific hc of Larry’s backstory bc there’s so many ways you can explore him hehe as long as it’s funny you’ll win me over

and like! Imagine Larry being just a normal dude and seeing all these trainers and getting challenged to battles before going “huh. Okay, I should train up my pokemon so nobody bothers me anymore and I can get to work on time” and just trains his team of normal types to e4 level without even realising it is peak comedy

but I also like the delicious idea of champion rank Larry who got burnt out from the battling scene and now he just battles for work. But he earns a good salary and uses his off hours to just dote on his pokemon and visits restaurants and cafes to have the time of his life. This one appeals to me as an office worker slash who also got burnt out from my passion lol

but I like any Larries! All Larries are my babygirls!!!