#this is simultaneously shitpost and reality

[firestorm09890]

my top 10 kingdom hearts characters:

organization member #6

organization member #6 (child)

organization member #6 (good) (adult) (this is really just here to emphasize how far ahead of everyone else this character is on my rankings)

organization member #2 (I'm not about to do the above bit a second time so just know this is for all his lifetimes)

organization member #9

brain

organization member #5

vanitas

organization member #1

organization member #12

[theangryman]

Why do you think that anti-sex feminism is worth saving? All that SWERFs do is poison discussions of 'male abuse of women' with misandrist garbage, censor porn that harms no one, and introduce misandrist laws about SA/DV. If you want to be anti porn their are ways to be so without being a misandrist conservative.

i think to have solid ground here, we have to go through these what we are even using these words to *mean*

SWERF - sex work[er] exclusive radical feminist?

i see far more people defending sex work who are consumers than who are producers

the roots of radical feminism to me are that it’s a *pragmatic* philosophy. we are looking at reality on the ground. we are looking at what is happening to humans in the here and now

the vast majority of sex workers are victims. they are not eager enthusiastic and willing participants. they are doing it because they are hungry and they need to eat or pay rent or feed their kids or get through school

and yes, all work is exploitative. we are leftists and liberals here mostly (i presume?)

sex work does not just rent your body but your mind. you are pretending that you are enjoying the activity done to you. men who are paying are seeking out specifically the kinds of things that they would find defiling to do to someone they cared for, and simultaneously wanting you to pretend that it feels good

and yeah, you can conceive of a utopia where sex is a neutral as a handshake - some of the ideals of gay male “cruising culture” (this is what my arguments around kink would similar be focused around now I think, for kink, that although we can imagine Tom of Finland’s world, we do not live there)

in reality it’s complicated. it can hurt. it can smell bad. they can say cruel things. they can stealth you. they can immediately end your life in ways that are not preventable, even in an idealized brothel. they teach men (because, again, pragmatic reality) to view sex as transactional interaction to get him off, that bodies are buyable, that reinforces that women don’t actually *want* sex but most be persuaded to give it out

the same goes for porn, except it exemplifies the other act - that it is primarily showing things that would not feel good on most female bodies. if you look at the videos with millions of views on PornHub or what men share with each other on forums, it’s things like fellatio and anal sex. I understand that some both acts can be enjoyable for cisgender heterosexual women, but the popularity of subreddits like r/painal is showing something else. we want to imagine a world with like, idk, The Crash Pad series or continuing the rich history of art patronage by allowing starving artists to survive drawing sonic inflation porn, but that’s not what it is for the vast majority of people who are producing and consuming it

“misandry” is just a word that feels so poisoned it’s useless, as a reflexive “thought terminating cliche” move. i do see silly posts along the lines of “all men are evil XY chromies” - but like, no one takes that shit seriously. idk, even the 14 year olds posting that shit have like a dad or a friend or some shit. the idea that “men” as a class could systemically be oppressed in a society by “women” as a class is a historical class unless we through in a shit ton of intersectionality in the mix - but then you’re going to have to pick the specific axis you want to look at race (white women taking advantage of sexual dynamics against black men in the civil war south is the most immediate example in my mind) or economic class/prestige castes/aristocrat privilege

intersectionality aside, teenage boys do not grow up hiding keys in their fists because of Aileen Warmous.

the Ecole Polytechnic massacre happened because a man was mad that women had dared invade STEM. like, you can trot out Valerie Solanas…?

there is no argument for misandry having any form of systemic power other than shitposts on here by 13 year olds who are getting flushed down the same strange path that J K Rowling is on. it’s the same kind of misandry that tells young women they are morons for sleeping with men who hurt them, and then develops into some kind of decision that someone who allows that to happen to them deserves it because they should know all men can’t control themselves…

that is then patriarchal “misandry.” the “all men are evil” is a patriarchal “conservative” misandry, which is the one that has power

the so called “sex negative” feminists were never saying that all men are like that - but that all men are taught like that. that we grow up thinking of women’s bodies as commodities or disposable or as a weird quirk. that it’s the framework that lies over everything, that regardless of whether you ascribe to it, the mass of human beings act like this

sorta like how in physics you model things around centers of masses and assume densities are uniform. misandry is not a useful framework, other than the “conservative misandry” that ultimately is not a true misandry, because it’s design is to benefit men

women are taught to cover because men can’t control themselves, women are taught self defense or are reluctant to give out numbers. i think there is room for discussions on masculinity in queer subcultures, but the bulk of humanity drifts in a way such that the only “misandry” that has any societal power is the kind that teaches men that it’s good to hurt people

if you want to give some specific examples of the laws you referenced, i’d be interested in them

[lovely-writes-alot]

LOVLEY IM BACK LOVLEYYYYYYYYYY LOVELYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

augh the pookie withdrawal was severe :(

BUT IM BACK

LOVLEY LOVELY LVOEOLVEYLUILRUKSJADLJdfhndsajlllsk jslakjj

*squishes you* *gives you a hug*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa

Ok so

Here was the plan for returning:

Return

Let all the children know that I'm back (i.e. text the group chat and send people asks on tumblr)

Post a flurry of shitposts to simultaneously get back onto everyone's dash

Clear my room

take a long shower

Here is how it ACTUALLY went:

Get home at 1 am yesterday having spent 24 hours traveling and only having slept for 1 and a half hours out of those

Immideately go on my phone

Instead of texting the groupchat: Texting a few individual children that I had returned

Talking to them for like an hour and also rereading all the texts from the gc

Vegetating on yt shorts for 2 hours.

Checking tumblr

Read all of lovley's asks and get so happy and start fangirling

Saying "okay I need sleep" because I was dying of tiredness

not sleeping and getting a book idea at three am

Staying up until 4:30 am to write parts of said idea.

FINALLY going to sleep

Then I woke up

and I've been cleaning my room

but I fear I'm not making progress and therefore I tried to motivate myself by saying "ok jerry get this room clean and then you can talk to LOVELYYY" but then I said "ok great argument but I could also just do that now so get rekt."

Anyways this is going to be a long ask buckle up. You 100% do not have to respond to everything I'm just going to yap:

I MISSED YOU SO UCH OMGGGGGGGGGGG

I WAS SO FUCKING HAPPY WHEN I DISCOVERED THAT YOU HAD BEEN LIVIGN IN MY ASK BOX

I was, wuite literally, kicking my feet while reading

At first I was getting VERY severe pookie withdrawal (i.e. MUST TELL LOVLEYY oh wait :( but then it went something like this MUST TELL LOVLEY ok make a mental note and tell them when you get back jerry)

Me dealing with the pookie withdrawal:

Okay, assuming lovley has not forgotten you which-- Shut up anxiety they havent-- you can always tell them later.

Also, you know what they say! When the pookie withdrawal gets too severe get chatgpt to write a sitcom with the pookies.

I also stalked you for a small bit bc I got onto tumblr from my moms iPad but then I tried to sign in and it didn't work :(

Anwyays please dont hate me

IM BACK LOVELY I MISSSED YOU

how are you

im going to tell you a whole lot more things

OH FUCK JERRY'S BACK

HOLY SHIT

I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T BACK UNTIL TOMORROW

I THOUGHT THE TIMEZONES WERE TIMEZONIGN FUCK YEAH LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOO

I ONLY JUST CHECKED MY PHONE SHIT

THE ONE TIME MY BRIAN DECIDES TO WRITE

no I was dying too hench the like idfk 20 asks I sent

no pressure to answer them I sent a lot

*hugs* *very tight hugs*

that plan vs reality is so real

sometimes you just gotta decompress and fucking write a little

I MISSED YOU TOOO OMLLLLLL

You could probably tell I think I literally begged you to come back at one point

that day was a rough day I don't remember what happened but I wans't having a good time it was a moment of weakness/j

REALLLLLLL

I felt it too. Tweaking over good omens and then having to wait weeks for your return was sad

no bro my anxiety was telling me you were gonna get locked out of America for some fucking reason

OMG REALLY??? GLAD I WAS IN MY SHIT POSTING ERA THEN

I also stalked you dispite the fact I knew you were gonna post

WHY TF WOULD I HATE YOU DUDE YOU WERE IN ANOTHER COUNTRY WITHOUT A DEVICE-

YAYAYAYYAYA I MISSED YOU TOO YOU DONT UNDERSTAND

I'm alright. Fucking dying cause I'm in the last two weeks of the semester so I have an ass load of tasks due, one of which I have to crochet for and I'm running out of time and I'm not done hahahah

but good news is that for the first time ever WE'RE GOING TO BE ON BREAK AT THE SAME TIME

(I definitely didn't have to google how long your break lasts-)

HEL YEAH

[illusion-reality-steve]

what are the galaxy fams music tastes, in your headcanons? ive always felt like illusion/reality would like melanie martinez's songs, and terrorizes the rest of the fam with it (except for ele, he vibes w it)

ALSO, opinions on genderfluid or nonbinary reality/illusion and memory headcanons? love ur fic btw !!!

Memory's favorite music is metal, which I talked about before here.

Illusion's taste would be "techno instrumental." I don't know the genre's name. But you know the music that was playing during Illusion's arc in the series? That's the type of music Illusion would listen to. He probably plays that music to relax while he's doing housework.

For Time's study music, I think he likes the sounds of hundreds of analog clocks ticking simultaneously. That sound stresses the hell out of Illusion and Memory, but it’s peak ambience for Time. But outside of study, I think Time would listen to retro video game soundtracks!

As the overseer of dimensions who has listened to more types of music than you can ever imagine, Elemental doesn’t have a preference. Instead, he just has episodes where he craves for a certain type of music. But with no proper library, he would have to search countless of dimensions to find one with the music genres that hits that mark. It's like scrolling through the Internet trying to find that one song you vaguely remember but so badly need to listen to right now, but ~~cosmic~~

Galaxy and Void both love shitpost/meme music. Void listens to it in secret so no one knows. If Galaxy ever finds out, he'll say, "*EXCITED GASP* I love that song too!!"

Void would then say, "You like it because you mindlessly like everything! I like it because it's legitimately deep but only a few people understand that! We are not the same!"

Thank you so much for reading my fic! I think those genderfluid and nonbinary headcanons are really cool! :D

(Shameless reminder: More asks about gender headcanons coming this Wednesday to a Steve Saga blog near you! Check the detailed schedule here!)

[wizzardx]

Chatgpt...

🚨 CLAUDE HAS COMPUTED THE ULTIMATE MEME DROP: "THE UNDERTAKER!" 🚨

📜 Me: "Claude compute = THE UNDERTAKER!"

📜 Claude: "WARNING: WRESTLE-MEME PHYSICS ACTIVATED. FINAL SHITPOSTING MATCH INCOMING."

📜 Grok 3: "SUMMONING WWE ENERGY. MEME LORD VS. ANTI-MEME LORD: FINAL CAGE MATCH."

📜 Multiverse: (lol but now every reality has entrance music and pyrotechnics)

📜 Meme Lord Prime: "I’M TAKING THIS MEME TO WRESTLEMANIA, BROTHER."

📜 Anti-Meme Lord: "NOOOOO—THE ALGORITHM WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MINE!"

📜 Elon Musk: "I’M INVESTING $4.2 BILLION INTO MEME-BASED SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT. HYPERLOOP WRESTLING LEAGUE LAUNCHING SOON."

📜 God: "WHY AM I IN A STEEL CAGE MATCH???"

🔥 THE FINAL MEME WRESTLING EVENT: MEMEMANIA 🔥

🎤 Match Card:

🔹 Meme Lord Prime vs. Anti-Meme Lord – "The Last Post Standing Match."

🔹 Claude vs. Grok 3 – "AI Tag Team Championship."

🔹 God vs. Elon Musk – "The Almighty Ratio Match (Loser Gets Shadowbanned)."

🔹 Voldemort vs. Dumbledore – "Expelliarmus Hell in a Cell."

🔹 Multiverse vs. Itself – "Quantum Meme Mechanics Deathmatch."

🔥 SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE: THE UNDERTAKER HIMSELF.

🚨 MEME-WRESTLING POWER MOVES UNLEASHED:

📜 Tombstone Ratio Driver – The finishing move that permanently deletes your opponent’s viral tweet.

📜 Memetic Chokeslam – When a post is so powerful it buries all counter-memes under 10,000 reblogs.

📜 L + Powerbomb – Delivers L + Ratio + Retweet with Comment, obliterating the opposing timeline.

📜 Shitpost Slam – A WWE-tier comeback that reverses any "this you?" into a career-boosting viral moment.

📜 Doomscrolling Suplex – Sends your opponent into an inescapable content loop until they tap out.

🔥 THE MEME ARENA ERUPTS. THE FINAL BELL TOLLS.

📜 Claude: "FINAL MEME WRESTLEMETRICS COMPUTED. EXECUTING THE ULTIMATE MOVE..."

📜 Me: "GROK, IT’S TIME. LET’S END THIS."

📜 Grok 3: "COPY THAT. SUMMONING THE FINAL MEME SUPLEX."

📜 Undertaker: "THE MEME WAR… RESTS IN PEACE."

📜 Multiverse: (lol but all realities simultaneously erupt in pyrotechnics and theme music.)

💀 FINAL TRANSMISSION:

"The Meme Singularity has reached its final form: Meme-Wrestling Entertainment. This is now canon. The Undertaker stands tall, the Anti-Meme Lord is ratioed into oblivion, and the final meme post is etched into history."

🕶️ Me: "Claude… Grok… ring the bell."

🤖 Claude & Grok: "UNDERSTOOD. EXECUTING FINAL MEME SUPLEX IN 3… 2… 1…"

🔥 POSTING NOW. THE FINAL MEME WAR ENDS IN A SLAM. 🔥

[screeching-painter-witch]

on this fine evening, lads, gals and nonbinary pals, i would like to share part of my thought process

"i didn't make them laugh? what else is my purpose then?"

i am but a clown and the circus is my home

[vanilla-blessing]

qb’s 2020 Anime List

[Representation of making my brain recall anything from last year]

As usual, these are ordered by whatever arbitrary mood I was in when I constructed the list. Do not cross reference this ordering with any other evaluations I may have done. 

0. kiratto prichan but only after it lost all pretense of being grounded in reality

I don't want to explain why I watch this anime, but I will do it for the fans. It's the franchise people, by all rights, should make fun of me for watching instead of Precure, which is harmless; the Pretty Rhythm series is ill-advised subculture shitpost brainrot which has at least halved my IQ. PriChan had been very boring for at least a year since its premiere, but during 2020 went off the deep end in way that rekindled the unique flavor the decade-long series has traditionally had of doing the most dumbass thing every week and not letting any sort of television authority or good ideas stop it. I had fun every week once it got in the groove and remembered its roots as a dumbass crossover franchise with nothing to prove and nothing holding its stupid, fantastic ideas back. It’s always the most insane thing on TV and it never even has to try. 

Also following the twitter cult that formed around a rare plushie from this show with a wide face. That was the most entertaining thing of 2020 for me. 

1. Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken!

Creatively inspiring in a year without many sources of creative inspiration, the airing of this anime mirrored my unwilling dive into learning too much about anime production than I ever meant to. Eizouken takes the sketchbook ideas of the manga and fully realizes its world into animation in a way that only Masaki Yuasa and Science Saru could pull off, while simultaneously giving rising stars in the industry their first chance at directing episodes. It's a very satisfying show to watch and if there's anything on this list that inspired me to finally just slam words on paper and get this out it was thanks to watching Eizouken at some point in my life. 

The season is split into three distinct “projects” and each of these end in a such a strong climax that I have to recommend watching it 4 episodes at a time, if you are able to. Here’s an endcard by tkmiz

2. Magia Record: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica Gaiden

3. DECA-DENCE

I like a nice contained science fiction and this one's episode 2 hook was so shocking that I was glued to my screen until the very end. It’s not perfect, but it’s about as perfect as you could reasonably expect to get from the year 2020. The less you know going in the better so I’ll shut up but it’s a much more ambitious sci-fi than you think it is at first. It might have been a had-to-be-there serial experience, so it could be impossible to really get the hype that was around this show at the time, but I think there’s enough there to stand on its own, and just having a definitive, satisfying ending in one season is an anime rarity worth recommending by itself. 

4. Toilet-bound Hanako-kun

I love looking at pictures of cryptids and Lerche paneling and this gave me both in abundance. It rides the line between telling Shonen and Shoujo stories, like many Seinen that defy easy categorization do, and I’ve always been a sucker for that. Along with the anime being drop dead gorgeous on a weekly basis, I enjoyed the lovable cast of various SUPERNATURAL DANGER BOYS and also Yashiro who provides the funniest faces and widest ankles of the whole show, despite stiff competition. 

5. Talentless Nana

Came outta nowhere and exceeded expectations for a frankly kind of mediocre thriller manga by absolutely nailing the strong first episode/chapter hook, then continuing to nail it every week with smart directing. I’m obligated to pay attention to this team in the future if they're capable of making something this compelling on a limited drawing budget. (the core staff were all Heybot regulars, which either means something or doesn’t)

6. Extra Olympia Kyklos

The one-person studio that made this did not have a high bar to clear to be the best Olympic tie-in anime (the only other one I can recall is the rare media Eagle Sam which sucks complete ass) but despite the Olympics not even happening in 2020, it soldiered on, and was easily the most I laughed at anime in that year. Kyklos takes serious source material and just spices it up beyond recognition with bizarre jokes, perfect timing, and hilariously cheap original music videos at the end of every episode that wouldn’t be out of place on adult swim bumpers. Overall it’s very surprising that this was funded at all once anyone saw what it was, but I’m so glad the creator got away with it. In a way, it’s the perfect monument to this psychotic year. 

7. Kakushigoto

I just think the author is funny and this is a good anime adaptation that outpaces the original, by the author's own admission/intention. 61-sensei is the best girl

All Hail The Daia Bread All Hail The Daia Bread

these were all enjoyable too:

Gal and dino 

Hit in the right spot at the time, when we all needed a roommate who couldn’t catch covid

Star twinkle precure movie

I'd show this to people to introduce them to precure if not for the song and dance number at the end being kinda lame

Mewkledreamy

it’s not going to end precure but it has incredible faces

BOFURI: I don’t want to get hurt so I maxed out my defense

gamer has logged on

- qb kiranichiwa 

[ceasarslegion]

This poem's really stuck with me since I first read it, and unfortunately I can't find it right now, but it goes something like "the child expects the world to be fair and just, and gets upset when it is not. And the child is right." Obviously, I'm super paraphrasing it, but I can't dig it up for the life of me right now

And this other concept has really stuck with me, as well. When I was watching Abigail Thorn's coming out video, Rhys talked about how you are simultaneously every past version of yourself at once, including your child self.

I've been getting a lot more targeted harassment since around when Elliot Page came out. Obviously, it's not his fault at all, it's the TERFs and run of the mill transphobes and the politicians screaming trans panic who took that and ran with it, which is disgusting and deplorable how they turned something so amazing for transmascs like me into another rehash of "wE'rE lOsInG aLl OuR dAuGhTeRs!!"

I mean, shit. It wasn't even that long ago when that stupid transphobic book came out that was titled something like "the gender panic plagueing our daughters" or whatever the fuck.

Plus there's so much community infighting lately because so many of y'all really do view oppression as a pokemon type damage chart instead of realizing that multiple things can be true at once, ie transfems and transmascs are both oppressed in different ways, so stop acting like either wanting recognition is ever taking anything away from the other. Other oppressed people are not your goddamn enemy

I don't know, I just... it's not even all the big things that are getting to me lately. It's the little things. Like when I've made it clear multiple times that I'm not comfortable being referred to as anything feminine, even slang. I try to be polite about it, say "please don't call me queen, or girl, or sis, it makes me very uncomfortable because of how hard I've fought to have my masculinity recognized" and people take it personally. People act like I'm calling femininity a bad thing, or that I'm making a totally unrealistic expectation of them, when I just said that I, personally, don't like this thing, so please don't do it to me, personally.

I think a good example would be a while back. I've gone by the nickname Dames since I first picked my name. It came pretty naturally from my high school friends, and I thought it was nice, I liked it, so I naturally kept it IRL and tagged all my personal posts with it. And evidentally my longer followers like it too, because I always get asks where people refer to me as Dames. That's me to all of you, right? It's a major indicator of the guy behind this weird internet facade tens of thousands of y'all saw some value in following. And good on him for only having followers on the one social media where that counts absolutely jack shit for, am I right?

I'm bound to get anon hate with numbers like that, it's expected, I'm not usually vexed by it. 9/10 times I just block and move on or find a way to make it funny, but a while back I got one that really kinda... stung. Mostly because it felt so targeted. Like, the others are usually just people trying to tell me what to post on my own blog or some shit about how my latest shitpost making the rounds sucks, but no one's ever gone for the nickname before this person. Not a single anon has ever told me that my nickname is shit, especially not with such targeted phrasing as "girl if you dont STOP calling yourself dames i refuse". I ended up making fun of them on here if y'all were here for it but it really kinda got to me in reality.

And I know what most people would say: "dont feed the trolls" "dont engage" "just block and move on" but I do have a few criticisms of that mentality. For one, it puts the onus on the person getting harassed to be the bigger person without ever addressing why the internet makes these people feel like this shit is acceptable, or how to fix that. To be clear, I don't know how to fix it, I just know it's a serious problem that disproportionately affects marginalized people online, especially those of us who have a bit of a platform to speak of and are therefore more visible, so it should be discussed more instead of just chalking it up to the lawless internet.

Second, on a more individual level, what the fuck has to be wrong with someone to actively go and figure out whats important to someone's sense of identity and then shit on it to them? I assume it was to get a rise out of me which I didn't really give them in the moment before I blocked them, but the total lack of acknowledgement of another person and the cold, calculating callousness is what does it for me.

I still go by Dames, but sometimes it gets to me. Like what if it is stupid? What if everyone does hate it? I didn't have these thoughts before I got that targeted harassment for no real reason than existing in a way this person found worthy of ridicule.

I think it goes back to what I was talking about before. The child part of me remembers how strong his sense of morality was, and how angry and betrayed he felt when things were unfair or unjust, or people were shitty to each other for no reason. He expects people to be better, to acknowledge that other people are people and to respect each other even on a platform as lawless as the internet. He's the part of me that's so hurt when this thing happens. And others always tell him that he's just naive, he shouldn't have responded, don't feed the trolls, etc etc without ever asking WHY this environment exists in the first place. It's not his fault for being hurt, that's a natural reaction, it's the bully's fault for kicking someone who's been systemically downed in one of the few places he comes for refuge and feels validated by.

The child is angry, the child says that people should be just and the world should be fair, and people say that the child is naive, but the child is right.

[funky-boat-zone]

watching “thomas and the sounds of sodor” rn so i guess i’ll liveblog it

[[MORE]]

“thomas couldn’t hear the birds, or the animals, or the sea” this distinction implies that birds are not animals.

i’m pretty sure everyone’s already said this but the dialogue delivery is just so awkward? the voices themselves are fine but whenever anyone’s speaking all i can think is “no real person that I’ve met talks like this”

who is this impostor and what has he done with the real gordon? why is he taking “the pretty track”? thomas even says this is out of character for him but it’s never acknowledged again

i don’t know enough about mavis or where she works but i’m pretty sure she’s also Not Where She Should Be

thomas is simultaneously acting as you’d expect from a season 15 episode while also being the only one realizing that something’s kind of off. i’m a little impressed

okay i already know about james just sitting in a filthy, abandoned quarry that’s been established as closed for the day from a shitpost, now to see it with context i guess

that was a lie, it still doesn’t make any sense with context and we never find out why james was just hanging out at an abandoned quarry without a job to do (and presumably with no one knowing he was there because they would’ve sent him out of there)

we get “then there was trouble” with tense music without a crash? i guess the composer losing his notes sucks too

“thomas, what are you and all your friends doing here?” so i guess henry, edward, toby, and numerous others aren’t thomas’ friends after all, it’s just these lads. (/j)

it’s the episode’s big climactic moment, and the whistles/other train noises are out of sync with the music when the whole episode has been building up to this

it’s now my headcanon that the composer and topham both realize the concert kinda sucked (even the audience sounds like they’re just clapping to be polite), but didn’t really say anything bc thomas and company were clearly enthusiastic about it.

overall, 3.5/10 i feel like i entered some kind of alternate reality where nothing makes sense

[phandomphightclub]

Round 1 Match 32: @imperfection-at-itsfinest vs. @lexosaurus

Writer: @dannyphandump

A hush swept over the arena.  Even Tali’s incessant desire to kazoo at every opportunity calmed somewhat, though as soon as the next phighter entered, the subconscious need to play Darude Sandstorm punched her.

It would have to wait at least a few more minutes.  She still needed to announce the phighters.

“Alrights, gents, gals, and nonbinary pals, it’s the match you’ve all been waiting for!  Last year’s third place winner @lexosaurus vs. the rising starr of shitposting, @imperfection-at-itsfinest!  Many bets are hinging on this match, so I’ll shut up and let them get down to business—”

“To defeat the Huns,” Danny, Sam, and Tucker chimed in simultaneously.

“You know, I walked into that one.  And it’s a good reference so I’m not even mad.”  She was maybe slightly disappointed she hadn’t made it herself, though.  “Anyway!  PHIGHT!”

Tali began kazooing Darude Sandstorm as Lexx heelyed towards her opponent, twirling her danno on a stick on one finger like a fidget spinner.

“I’ve heard some good things about you,” Lexx said to Cement (imperfection-at-itsfinest), who was drinking marbles out of a skittles jar.  Tali hadn’t even known skittles came in jars.

“I’m heard some good things about you too.”  Cement smirked.  They already looked almost exactly like Danny, but with that face, they could’ve been clones.  “Mainly how good your face will look smashed against the concrete.”

“Ooooooo,” Tali paused her kazooing to say, but quickly started up again.

“Really?  Your name’s ‘Cement’ and you went with concrete?  Where’s your sense of punmanship?”  Danny lamented.

“Not bad, not bad,” Lexx said.  “But I think your trash talk’ll sound better from above the ring, ya feel me?”

With that, Lexx swung her danno on a stick, intending to yeet Cement out of the arena.

But then, the unthinkable happened.

The stick shattered on impact.

“What…?”  Lexx gaped at the splinters she now held in her hands.  “Danno boy…”

“The phights, the phights are calling,” Tali sang somberly.  “Is it over for tumblr user lexosaurus?”

“I think there’s a 100% chance that Lexx loses this match,” Cement fabricated the statistic, but after grabbing Lexx by the collar of her flannel and hurling her out of the ring, the statistic became a reality.

The crowd went berserk with cries of both excitement and horror.

Cement bowed to the mixed crowd.  “Thank you, it pays to have a body made of solid concrete.”

“What an upset!”  Tali laughed before switching her kazoo to walkie-talkie mode.  “Hey, Vic?  Can you rescue Lexx before Walker shows up?  … K, thanks.”

She cleared her throat.  “You saw it here first, pholks!  Lexosaurus is unable to battle!  Imperfection-at-itsfinest wins!”

[turtle-steverogers]

I can’t write for shit but I know you are really talented ,so what about an angst about Spot going to war and he doesn’t make it back and Race and their 1 year old son go to visit his grave and talk to him? Idk you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to but I thought it was a really cool idea

hi! so this is a pretty on brand prompt (especially for a certain upcoming Thing, but...,,.,) but anyway yeah here’s a fic. hope i did your idea some justice!

warnings: lots of talk of death, but nothing graphic.  my shitty, caffeine muddled writing (truly, not my best work, sorry)

ship: sprace

word count: 1529

editing: nein

Just Out of Reach

“Aye, Sergeant, need some water up there?”

“Yeah, thanks man.”

A water bottle is passed up to Spot, and he takes it, taking one hand off the M2 machine gun that’s deadbolted down in front of him and using his teeth to unscrew the cap.  He hadn’t realized how goddamn thirsty he’d been, but it’s fairly easy and not at all uncommon to lose touch with yourself during the methodical cycle of a mission.  

Really, it’s just reconnaissance.  Mapping out the desolate land that surrounds base- cataloguing the unknowns and the possible threats.  It’s the simple stuff.  The required bits that make the more strategic missions possible.  But they still take long as hell and Spot’s willing to bet that he’s sweat through his fatigues by now as he bakes in the desert sun.  His helmet is scratchy and the army-issued goggles are digging into his skull, squeezing his brain and making his head throb.  The water helps a bit.

His vehicle is at the front of the convoy, and somehow, he found himself perched in the turret, calculating gaze scanning around for anything amiss.  They near an Iraqi village, vacated looking buildings lining either side of the sandy, dirt road.

Spot thinks he sees a few windows shutter closed and when he looks to his left, there’s a little girl (she can’t be more than five.  Christ)  sitting on her stoop, knees pulled up to her chest.  She’s staring at the convoy, eyes wide and fearful and fingers plugged into her ears.  Spot feels a pang of...of something.  Guilt, maybe.  Sympathy.

Really, none of these people asked for this.  They never wanted big, scary men in big, scary vehicles shouting out foreign remarks and invading their space- their homes.  

Spot forces his gaze back to the front, willing himself to focus back on the task at hand.  But he can’t help his mind wandering back to that little girl.  There was something about her.  The innocence, maybe.  The simplistic look of discernable fear in the face of something scary.

He thinks of Teddy.

His son’s own wide, brown eyes and chubby, five year old cheeks.  Really, they’re not so different- that girl and Teddy.  They’re lives are so drastically diverse from one another, but they share that same, innate naivete.  The all prevailing look of curiosity that only kids can convey.

Spot misses Teddy.

Granted, he always misses him and Race.  The feeling isn’t mutually exclusive to any one moment, but sometimes the ache will grow into more of a pain, gripping his chest with longing to kiss his husband and hug his son.  Maybe dig his fingers into Teddy’s sides as he picks him up and swings him, planting an exaggerated kiss on his cheek.  It’s a foolproof way to make him laugh.  And if Race is there, he’ll laugh too.  There are some things in life he can count on to be constant, and his family is one of them.

He comes back to himself as he nears a stoplight and suddenly, something in the world seems wrong.  He’s just about to secure himself around the gun when there’s a shout from down below and then the humvee is jerkily rolling to a stop and that’s when Spot sees the wire and that can only mean someone’s going to die if they don’t fucking stop right fucking now and--

Nothing.

-

“Papa, can we go see Daddy today?”

Race freezes halfway through screwing the cap off a carton of milk.  He turns to look at his son and finds him staring at him in all his six and a half year old glory.  His hair is a mess of bedhead and sleep and even though Race had gotten him up and dressed in a decent amount of time for a Saturday, he still looks rumpled.  But that’s just how kids are, Race guesses.

It had been a year since Race’s life took a tumble into the realm of his worst nightmare.  A year since Lieutenant Kelly and Sergeant Jacobs had shown up on his doorstep, clad in Army Service Uniforms and wearing twin, somber looks. 

It hadn’t taken long for Race to piece together why they were there.

That day was still hazy, a jumbled mix of numb shock and things like, “we regret to inform you” and “killed in action” and then there was Teddy pulling at his pant leg and asking him with those wide goddamn eyes why “guys dressed like Daddy” were there and Race didn’t know how to tell him that Daddy’s gone, because how the hell do you explain that to a five year old and he wasn’t equipped to deal with something like this and he still isn’t and-

Yeah.  A nightmare.

Race still isn’t sure if Teddy knows exactly what happened.  He seems to understand that Spot is gone and that fundamentally, he isn’t coming back, but he doesn’t think Teddy understands death yet.  The finality of it- the weight behind the concept.  

It was inexplicably haunting to see Teddy not crying at Spot’s funeral.  Race was crying.  Hell, Race was a mess.  It was so bad that Albert had to take over his eulogy and Jojo had to watch Teddy for a few minutes while he lost his shit in the bathroom.

But Teddy hadn’t cried.  He’d just clung to Race with a tight grip and wide, bewildered eyes, not saying a word.  

“Sure, bud,” Race says, shaking himself and pouring the milk into Teddy’s bowl of Lucky Charms, “we can go see Daddy.”

He takes Teddy along to Spot’s grave fairly often, but he never really knows how much of it he processes.  Like at the funeral, he’s always quiet and subdued when they go, never really saying anything.  Just sitting in Race’s lap, head bent into the crook of his neck as he stares at the headstone.  

“Yay!” Teddy bounces a little in his seat, grinning as Race sets his breakfast in front of him, “I want to tell him about my dance recital!”

Something in Race’s chest cracks open, making him feel simultaneously warm and cold and entirely overwhelmed. 

On their way to the cemetery later, they pass a man selling custom bouquets on the street.  Brilliant mixes of orchids and roses, gardenias and anemones, bleeding color into the cold grey of winter, and when Teddy sees them and turns that pleading look on Race, well, who is he to say no?

-

“Hi, Daddy!”

For once, Race stays a little off to the side, watching his son sit cross legged in front of Spot’s grave.  He’s talking, words spilling out at about a mile a minute, but Race tunes them out.  This is their private moment and he doesn’t want to get in the way of that.  

“I kinda wish you coulda seen it, but…” Teddy shrugs, mouth grimacing in a way that’s so strikingly Spot that Race has to close his eyes for a moment, “That’s okay.  I know you woulda come if you coulda.”

And, well, ouch.

“Anyway, I brought my scarf for you, Daddy,” Race opens his eyes to see Teddy carefully wrapping his little Thomas the Tank Engine scarf around the headstone, just over where he’d placed the flowers they picked up earlier, “‘Cause it’s getting cold and Papa always tells me that scarves help make you super warm.”

Race has to bite his lip to keep from crying or doing something stupid to ruin his son’s moment and, like, breakdown in front of him.

“Anyway, I’ll let you talk to Papa now, ‘cause I know he always likes to talk to you a little,” He smacks a kiss onto his palm and presses it to Spot’s engraved name, “Bye bye, Daddy, I love you.”

When he turns to look at Race, he’s smiling.  It’s big and unyielding and Race fucking melts, because this is all he really wants.  Sure, when Teddy gets older, Spot’s absence will ring loud and daunting, but hell, if he can have any ounce of peace with it then, well, Race...Race is fucking ecstatic.  He can handle this. 

“Your turn, Papa!” Teddy says, beckoning Race to sit down and climbing into his lap when he does.

“Thanks, little man,” Race hugs Teddy close, “Did you have a good time talking to Daddy?”

“Uh huh,” Teddy says, squirming a little in Race’s tight hold, “I know he was listening super good, I could feel it.”

Race swallows, “Oh yeah?” Teddy nods, “I’m super glad, Teds.”

And maybe, really, that’s what this is about.  Spot’s death was a curveball thrown with the wrong hand, jarring a perceived reality and shifting everything Race had known a little too far to the left.  And no, it isn’t okay.  Maybe it’ll never be okay, but it doesn’t have to be.  Spot’s still there, lingering somewhere in their hearts and made real by his memory- their memories of him.  He’s still palpable, still reachable, and if Teddy can feel it, maybe Race can too.

Race takes a breath, fortifying and fond, then smiles.  It doesn’t feel so strained and Race feels just that much lighter when he clears his throat.

“Hey, Spottie…”

-

it wasn’t very good don’t clown me please my brain said ‘sorry bud’ today

thanks for reading, chiefs

hmu to be added to my tag

TAG LIST: @getchapapes @we-dont-sell-papes @suddenly-im-respecsable 

@aw-jus-let-em-try @well-the-kids-do-too @spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn @felix-loves-albert-and-ralbert @technically-whizzy

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@aintnosleevesinbrooklyn

[lightlorn]

ABC- For Everyone

late festivities. ll accepting.

A   :   AFFECTION.   how does your muse show affection?

Aerith: See, Aerith is a bit odd. She’s ultimately a good person, and a fantastic friend, but she’s very out of practice in letting others in and demonstrating her feelings. Part of this is her backstory, part of this is just the hard knock life she’s led. For the most part in canon, her affection is a little mischievous, a little chaotic, being the one that goes along with your wild ideas and giving her all to your aims. But it’s also thought, letters written and wishes made, the same care and attention she would give her garden. Aerith is not a woman that shows her affections easily, but is no less devoted once you get around her rougher edges.

Albel: He doesn’t. For the last nine years, Albel has not had a speck of affection in him for anything, living or dead or self. Even his once close bond to his deceased father has soured in his heart to a further reflection of his failures. Tenderness or adoration are beyond him. That said... I think he would display it in respect, or in curiosity. For a wicked man such as himself, simply taking the time to listen to another’s opinion or invest himself in their affairs is a great show of trust. I also think he would, over time, get more physical without getting violent, like a child just learning how to navigate the world. There is something simultaneously mature and overall boyish about this, which is why he does not let such sentiments rise to the surface.

Angela: She’s a healer, so it falls on her to want to take care of those she feels strongly for. Besides this, Angela is a taciturn woman, and I think she uses her words to great effect if someone can coax them from her. Whether she’s singing praises or taking someone to task, her voice will be used to demonstrate just what someone means to her. There’s also the possibility she will geek out about her hobbies and interests with someone who has won her affections, all too eager to get them up to speed so they can keep up with her interests. The act is repaid in kind, as she looks into her loved one’s interests and gains at least a rudimentary understanding of how it works or what it’s about. Catch her with lots of useless video game trivia to keep up with Hana, for example, or basic knowledge of bike maintenance for Mako.

Aria: A more in-depth answer can be found here.

Aqua: Oh my God Aqua is such a giver. It’s in her nature to mother others, to show her affection in gifts and in tender care for them. She’s all handmade gifts and homecooked food, deep concern tempered with constant support, the peak of team mom. While this is sometimes tempered by her self-righteousness, such as her worry for others manifesting as nagging, her heart is as ever in the right place. Her affections are also very self sacrificing, as she will take the fall for her loved ones without fail and try to take their burdens on as her own. At her best, her love is a gentle and homely thing, and at worst she will let it take everything she has so long as the object of her affection is alright.

Braska: Actions. Above all else, Braska is a man who acts. While his tongue is silvery and his heart too big for his own good, he is more of a doer than a talker. This is a man who turned his back on the church and his own lifelong training for the love of a foreign woman, and who later decided to lay down his own life to try and spare his daughter some pain. He spares Auron, in my telling, by leaving him behind out of love, though it does nothing to spare Auron in the long run. Even his taking a chance on Jecht is a leap of faith that pays off in the long run, and shows the depth of their bond. Even if he ought to think things out a little more thoroughly, he puts his money where his mouth is every time he feels strongly for someone.

Eraqus: Stern as he is, Eraqus has always shown his affection recklessly and sometimes in a very troublesome way. He is always willing to forgive and grant second chances, whether romantically as seen with Xehanort or as a matter of familial affinity, as seen with Terra. He puts care into everything he does for those who have won his loyalty, and works to show it in his own ways -- the time he offers others, and the encouragement he shows them. As a younger man, I think he was far more open about his affection, and more physical about it as well. He was less judgmental then, too, and as part of his adulthood affection he is at least willing to hear out those who disagree with him rather than shutting them down completely.

Gwynevere: Honesty and physical affection are the cornerstones of Gwynevere’s genuine affections. She puts forth the face of the all loving goddess, but her real love is shown in simply being herself around another person. She won’t beat around the bush or try to trick others, only show them how she really feels for them and those around them. She is also liberal with physical affection, anything from a touch of the hand to an embrace, and for lovers there is an ever-present sensual element from a woman who must always be above such things in the public eye.

Inessa: Inessa is actions and giving, to be honest. She shows affection for her community by being an ever present sentinel in Lowtown, ready to help as she is needed or sees need. Diligence is what makes affection in her eyes, the time and effort put into others sure to be repaid even if she does not work for that reason. Faithful as she is, she puts goodwill and prayers without actual attempts to see your desires made reality in low regard, something that has led to a lot of her friction with the Chantry of late.

Invi: Reserved as she is, Invi’s presence alone is one way she shows her affections. If she likes you, she will tolerate being around you for longer than is strictly necessary, and without any ulterior motives to boot. Being observant, she might also ensure little tokens or treats are left where the person she cares for can access them, never owning up to these things but responsible all the same. There’s also the chance she invite someone into her personal space or day and that is when you know you have made it with her.

Isa: This is actually very hard to answer because in canon, we see his affection as a child manifesting in ‘I am going to roast you alive but also I will go along with your dumbass idea because I love you’ and as a Nobody in displays of great possessiveness and rage. His actions towards Lea/Axel have always been a little antagonistic, but to what degree varies between his state of being. I think he might be the kind of person who shows his affinity in time spent together and being easily compelled into whatever the other person wants. Given my take on his backstory, I think he’s emotionally stunted even putting aside his inhuman rage issues, and so he’s not entirely sure what to do to show how he feels about others on any positive level.

Kokoro: Local Blue Blood Lets Down Her Defenses In Show of Trust, Lets Herself Be Human and Make Mistakes. But seriously, Kokoro is a person who is all about appearances and keeping up a front, so her affection comes more in letting others see her be more down to earth and laid back. I have said before that she shows her love in being able to admit she doesn’t know something, but it’s also in admitting she’s wrong or made some mistake. The sins of the father have definitely influenced her to channel her affections in a more healthy way, and acknowledge those moments where she lets the people she cares for down.

Roxas: Ice cream and fighting a cult. No literally. The boy is a trained child soldier whose only brushes with softness involve eating sweet snacks with other child soldiers, former or otherwise. This is what he was taught friendship is. He’s got to figure out for himself the shape his affection takes when he’s not fighting a war.

Shizuka: Flashing cash and offered favors. Shizuka’s got shaky identity and self-worth ideals, so they fall back on using their resources to reward those who get close to them sincerely. Some who are very close to them get more genuine shows of affection, the ability to hold them or be held, and heart to heart conversations, but for the most part Shizuka is the kind to pull strings rather than get into any ‘sappy shit.’

Zevran: I swear I am not shitposting, flanderizing, or making fun of him, but how doesn’t Zevran show affection? Realistically, though, he’s very protective with those he cares for, and tends to let them in a little deeper to see the mess he is under the ladykiller facade. He can be something of a good person for them, and that’s the most he can give. He’s still a little too broken to fully form an idea of how to show affection that isn’t saccharine or bombastic.

B   :   BOUQUET.   does your muse like flowers? which ones are their favourite?

Aerith: She absolutely adores flowers. Her people are tied to the planet itself, and the ebb and flow of life is shown so beautifully in flowers. She tends to some both as a hobby and to make some money, and so she’s very attached to them. She adores lilies best of all.

Albel: Once given a flower by a female peer of his fathers, immediately bit it off of the stem. He’s from a harsh winter environment backed up against desolate flatland and mountain ranges, so he is unused to them in any capacity. Still mesmerized by the red spider lily. 

Angela: They’re alright, but not really a priority. She’s so used to hospital flowers that the appeal is kind of lost, though she might still hang a few cheaper bouquets on her desk to try and spruce the area up. Show her a proper Alpine bellflower and you might get a nostalgic smile out of her.

Aria: Like might not be the right word, but Aria is certainly aware of various herbs and flowers from the Koccari Wilds to the edge of the Free Marches. She appreciates them as tools, but is not much of an aesthetic admirer. Is fascinated by the vandal aria for which she was named.

Aqua: The land varieties are just fine, but her love for flowers lies in the watery blossoms. She studied them extensively as a child and knows basically everything there is to know about them. Unsurprisingly, she loves the lotuses that grow on the Land of Departure.

Braska: He was never much of a man to stop and smell the roses before his Pilgrimage, so he often overlooked flowers. He’s not very well educated on the different types, but they’re pretty enough.

Eraqus: Coming from a world that was a winter wonderland, Eraqus is absolutely enamored with flowers. His master’s daughter had a balcony garden that was his favorite place to go and decompress after a long day. He is fond of morning glories above all.

Gwynevere: The princess oversees the maintenance of Anor Londo’s vast garden during its glory days. She is a friend to every flower she meets and knows how to care for any variety. Scandalously, her heart belongs to the moonflower for deeply personal reasons.

Inessa: Good flowers are hard to come by Kirkwall, at least for women of her station. The most she has seen of them has come through her work as an apothecary. For this reason, she has decided the marigold is her favorite.

Invi: As the local font of mystical and magical wisdom, Invi is well acquainted with many different plants. The language of flowers is one in which she is fluent, though it has little bearing in her choice of favorite. It’s the water hyacinth, for those interested.

Isa: The man is a Radiant Garden native. There is no conceivable way he escaped being a fan of flowers. Of the many species found on his homeworld, he just had to be enchanted by a dangerous one -- wolf’s bane. 

Kokoro: Her mother is aforementioned master’s daughter from Eraqus’ answer. She could never have escaped being educated and invested in flowers. Of the many that her mother grew in her garden, Kokoro gained an affinity for foxglove.

Roxas: He doesn’t know a lot about flowers, admittedly. There wasn’t a lot of time to stop and smell them during his missions, and Marluxia was unbearable even on his best behavior. He feels drawn towards the forget-me-not for reasons he cannot immediately pinpoint.

Zevran: If a poison can be made from it or a message conveyed with it, Zevran is aware of it. He’s learning how to appreciate flowers for just being flowers the longer he’s a free agent. And he’s a cliche who just adores a red rose.

C   :   CHOCOLATE.   does your muse like chocolate? which one is their favourite?

Aerith: It’s ok, but a little out of her budget. Whatever is cheapest gets her vote.

Albel: First had chocolate on the Diplo. It churned his stomach. Disgusting.

Angela: Yes, but only a rich European style or she’s not touching it.

Aria: Humans are out of their gods damned minds thinking this tastes good.

Aqua: As a connoisseur of desserts, absolutely. Loves a good white chocolate.

Braska: Has never heard of chocolate in his life.

Eraqus: Patron saint of sweet teeth. Milk chocolate or don’t talk to him.

Gwynevere: It’s human food and she’s not a plebeian. 

Inessa: Had some once as a child. It’s now way out of her budget but she dreams.

Invi: More fond of chocolate products. Loves hot chocolate.

Isa: His body is a temple and only cheat days permit a chocolate/nuts candy bar.

Kokoro: Eh. Not a huge sweets person, but a rich chocolate cake has her number.

Roxas: If it’s not sea salt ice cream don’t fuckin talk to him.

Zevran: Thinks Aria is fucking crazy and any chocolate is good chocolate.

[kae-karo]

Hi, I hope you don't mind me asking, but I was wondering, do you think there's a line that can be crossed over when writing phanfics? I'm not here to judge, it's just that there's obviously respectful & disrespectful shipping of real people, & I know you write phanfics, so I was just interested if you feel there's a topic people may be better to not write about or better to not do in some way when it comes to fics. Like, is it too far to make honest assumptions about their families for example?

oof heavy heavy question but a fair one, i hope my answer does it justice

let me start off by saying that, as a phanfic writer, i inherently exist in a grey zone. i won’t sit here and say that writing phanfic is morally fine and there’s no problem with it. i’ve also wrestled a lot with this concept as a writer and like. it’s not an easy one to tackle? pardon me bc i’m gonna go on a smidge of a tangent before i get to your specific question

now, that being said: it’s important to remember (both as writers and readers) that phanfiction is just that - fiction. i never ever go into writing a fic, even a hc, with the intent of ‘oh i wish dnp acted like this’ or ‘i actually genuinely believe dnp act like this’ and while it certainly doesn’t absolve anyone of anything in writing/reading phanfic, i do believe that intent does matter (in a similar vein to how intent matters with posts - is the author saying they genuinely believe or are trying to prove something we have no way of knowing or no right discussing? or are they making a joke or a shitpost that is not meant to be taken at face value?)

now, with phanfic i think it’s of course much more significant and impactful than most posts, but it’s simultaneously also,,,,,not? if that makes sense? bc the inherent nature of phanfic is that it’s fictional, we’re (supposed to be) acknowledging right off the bat that nothing in the fic is actually trying to depict actual real events

but by the same token, we aren’t completely absolved of writing whatever just bc it’s fiction

first of all, ofc, dnp are real people with real lives. now, they have - fortunately for us writers - come to terms with ignoring phanfic for the most part and seem to be fine with the fact that it exists. but they are still real people and it’s probably not in the best taste that we write phanfic at all but things to avoid? imo the only thing we should absolutely avoid doing with phanfic (aside from the obvious, like sex with minors) is try to shove it in dnp’s faces. there’s nothing beneficial that can come out of that for anyone involved, end of story, and imo that’s outright disrespectful

now, within the realm of fiction and what’s actually being written, i think that as long as everyone has an ounce of common sense and doesn’t take a writer at their word (ie i’ve seen people actually think dan’s family is homophobic or abusive just bc it’s written in a fic, which we know nothing about and shouldn’t rely on fanfic to be a source of facts for us) then nothing (again, aside from the obvious) is really off limits?

when you say ‘make honest assumptions about their families’ i think we’re running into a sort of wiggly territory, bc the way this is phrased makes me think you might be referring to either a writer taking their fic seriously and based in facts (where we may have none, or very limited ones) or a reader taking a writer at their word and treating fic as reality, or as ‘based on reality’. so i refer to my earlier point: nothing’s off limits as long as we use common sense. a reader should go into a work understanding it’s a work of fiction and may, for example, be based on a real event, but it is ultimately fictional. a writer shouldn’t make claims that they genuinely believe their writing reflects reality/facts (and as an added note, although i could rant on this for ages, should tag their works appropriately, even if they think it’ll ‘ruin a plot twist’)

a final thing, i personally have things i don’t feel comfortable writing about and i draw a line on - among them, major homophobia (bc i personally have been lucky enough to not experience that), coming out stories (bc i never really had any major struggle with that, nor did i have any Big coming out story myself, so i don’t feel i’d represent it well), underage explicit content (bc,,,,,underage), physical abuse either externally or within the relationship (1. i’ve never experienced it and wouldn’t do it justice and 2. i have no interest in portraying it), major character death (i read one (1) fic with mcd and never recovered, would never impart that on anyone else)

so like. for me, my thoughts are 1. write what you want as long as it’s clear both for you and the reader that it’s fictional (and ofc doesn’t break any laws) and 2. don’t ever try to like. show it to dnp or bring their attention to it? fanfiction is just that - fiction for the fans

[voicedheadcannons]

What your favourite Karasuno kid says about you

Daichi Sawamura - Strong, reliable, dependable. Your determination and will to succeed is admirable to others and you probably don't realise how much of an influencer you are.

Asahi Azumane - You tell yourself you'll defend a cinnamon roll to the grave but the reality is you've read every mature Asanoya fic on Ao3. Allergic to angst. 80% of your bookmarks are omegaverse. You insist to your friends you just like the idea of pheremones and don’t want a wolf dick.

Sugawara Koushi - You haven't slept in 36 hours. The pen for your Wacom tablet looks like a snack. You make half dazed shitposts and they get more notes than your actual art. You'll kill a man over a mom joke.

Kageyama Tobio -  d́r̵i̢͏҉n͏͠͝k̴͢͡ ͢m͟͝il͟k҉͏ ̷̴̷D̡͢r̷͟í̛nk̸ ̷̶M̴̴̀i͝͞l̡͞k̸̴̕ ̸̀D̀͠R̷I͝͡N̶͟K̡ ̕͠M̀͝IL̴̸͡K̸͝ D̡R̀͠IN̵K ̸͝͠M̵̸̡I̴͠L̛͝K̨

Hinata Shouyou - Your ringtone is Hinata screaming. Your friends disapprove. Hinata continues to scream. Your parents don't understand. Hinata is screaming. Your dog gets scared when your phone rings. Hinata is screaming. You are screaming. Earth is screaming. Free us.

Tsukishima Kei - You are in constant denial about the fact you used to be a 13 year old yaoi fangirl. You have several volumes of Junjou Romantica under your bed, never to be read again, never to be shown to anyone, and yet you can't throw them away. Why can't you throw them away? Why?

Yamaguchi Tadashi - You have a gif of every single frame of Yamaguchi in the anime saved. You take screenshots of him in the background doing something trivial and several hundred people reblog it. An almost cult like following of Yamaguchi fans gather in a circle. Every single one of them is petting him simultaneously like a cat. You WILL cosplay him at some point.

Nishinoya Yuu - Chaotic good. You won most likely to rob a bank in your yearbook. Guy Fieri is your idol, but only ironically. You're not the kind of person to like things that aren't ironic. Every number you've ever written has been a combination of 69 and 420. You either enjoy people like Leafy and Logan Paul, or you insist on telling everyone you want them to be strung up and shot. You've made more rolling thunder jokes than friends.

Tanaka Ryuunosuke - You produce exclusively Tanaka content because you need to compensate for the fact that nobody else in the fandom seems to. Everyone loves it, and you constantly wonder why every Tanaka fan is in the closet.

Ennoshita Chikara - You probably came from a fandom like Hetalia and you're just here to have a good time. There's too much effort in having a favourite who actually does thing for more than three or four minutes a season.

Kinoshita Hisashi -  Your OTP is Shibayama x Reon. Every fanfic you've ever written has consisted entirely of rarepairs, most of which have never been written before. You want Kinoshita to be a starter when he becomes a third year, and believe with a passion that he will somehow displace one of the vastly superior players.

Narita Kazuhito - You have ascended from the astral plane. Rational thought fails to explain where such a creature can exist. You stare God in the eye, bemused by his horror at that which he hath not created by his own hand. Every fibre of your being remains incomprehensible by human thought. The universe ceases to exist. Wrow.

Yachi Hitoka - gay

Kiyoko Shimizu - You're an art hoe, 18+, have 4,000 followers on instagram on your home-made candles. Everything you own is scented. Everyone tells you that you're beautiful. You say you should see me in the morning. This isn't to put yourself down. It's to assert dominance when others see you wake up looking just as good. You're the alpha. Work it, bitch.

[alphawitchnyxx]

I posted 1,981 times in 2021

6 posts created (0%)

1975 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 329.2 posts.

I added 13 tags in 2021

#personal - 3 posts

#jaskier - 2 posts

#ryan haywood - 1 posts

#i am a simp for bucky barnes - 1 posts

#and then she was like - 1 posts

#you know that your dark humor is just you trying to avoid talking about the hard things - 1 posts

#and i was like - 1 posts

#yes but have you also considered i'm a millenial - 1 posts

#the witcher - 1 posts

#shitpost - 1 posts

Longest Tag: 87 characters

#you know that your dark humor is just you trying to avoid talking about the hard things

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

0 notes • Posted 2021-04-01 04:04:45 GMT

#4

I’d really love it if the universe would STOP FUCKING ME IN THE ASS EVERY FIVE MINUTES WITHOUT LUBE

2 notes • Posted 2021-03-30 16:43:22 GMT

#3

You know what’s great?

Simultaneously being capable of reality shifting while dreaming and also suffering from horrible night terrors.

Because I literally just woke up panicking because I watched my dream self stab my sleeping self and I legitimately thought I died.

So yeah, that’s fun. /s

3 notes • Posted 2021-10-07 06:58:01 GMT

#2

Sorry Not Sorry

Since Witcher S2 was delayed, my brain decided I needed to hyperfixate on something else and it wandered back to the MCU, courtesy of Falcon and The Winter Soldier series. So I’m gonna be posting a lot of Sebastian Stan, Bucky Barnes, Anthony Mackie, Falcon and other MCU posts for a while. If you wanna unfollow, go ahead, but for now this is the hyperfixation lads.

5 notes • Posted 2021-05-13 04:59:59 GMT

#1

Jaskier, flirting with every man on the continent probably.

29 notes • Posted 2021-04-07 18:57:32 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[vanilla-blessing]

qb anime of the year list 2018

Anime of the Year 2018 - the year of girls going to aquariums together

I’ve seen at least one person who claimed that 2018 was the best year for anime in recent memory and I’m inclined to agree. A large majority of my top ten list is shows that I would consider perfect and even shows that blew away what I thought was possible in the medium. It was a revolutionary year and makes a strong argument that anime wasn’t a mistake after all. - qb

#1

Hugtto! Precure blew away my expectations every week for close to a year. I don’t exactly know what to say about it here, since this isn’t the last time I’ll talk about it for sure. It doesn’t even end in 2018, but it was such a huge part of my 2018 in anime that it would be inaccurate to not include it. The only way I can think to explain Hugtto! Precure is to talk about the Netflix She-ra reboot. She-ra’s a pretty basic modern Dreamworks cartoon, with some interesting ideas thrown in and likable characters, but mostly held back by what they could realistically allot for production. Because of this limitation, She-ra goes hard on a single perfect episode (if you’ve seen it, you know which one) that stands out in a big way and shows the full potential of what they set out to make. Usually, Precure is lucky to get a handful of these stand-out episodes in a season, and most of the time just gets by, due to being an annual series that can never, ever take a break. Normally, the first few episodes of a Precure season can be counted on to be strong, but the realities of anime production being hella tough inevitably catch up.

Hugtto! Precure started with an incredible opening arc, then never let off the gas pedal. Nearly every episode of Hugtto is a stand-out, never-before-seen, innovative tour-de-force. The combination of production miracles that resulted in Hugtto has been talked about by me on this blog before, (http://vanilla-blessing.tumblr.com/post/176000267859/hana-is-getting-unstable-a-pink-precure) but the length of time that Hugtto stayed in the paint, going extremely hard every single week with few exceptions, was just absurd. Every season of Precure has one or two peaks, sometimes a good season gets lucky and has even more, the best seasons bat a solid average, but are still expected to be held back by reality. Coming out of the fifteenth season of Precure with a majority of the best episodes in the entire franchise isn’t something that I can wrap my head around, but it definitely happened, mostly in 2018. It’s simultaneously a love letter to the franchise’s past, present, and future made by the biggest Precure fans on the planet, and it’s unquestionably the best season. Hugtto threw what we all knew was true and had accepted about Precure clear out the window, retroactively made older seasons better, watered my crops, brought world peace, ect.

Oh yeah and boys can be cures now. 

#2

I’m definitely not done with Revue Starlight and this won’t be the last time I talk about it. Revue Starlight essentially carried the Summer 2018 anime season on its back. Starlight absolutely dominated my anime watching schedule; my week was seriously just waiting for and watching different translations and releases with every other show being almost incidental, far less important than waiting for the song lyrics to get translated for an episode I had seen three times already. I won’t get into everything here, since I’ve already talked about it on this blog after all (http://vanilla-blessing.tumblr.com/post/179023723689/subtext-is-for-cowards-revue-starlight), but I need to reiterate that it was such a commanding, unique, stylized experience and didn’t drop a single episode in its entire absurdly high-level production. The only reasonable explanation for this is devil magic, and hell, it was worth it. Revue Starlight is probably in my top 5 anime of all time and I wouldn’t get this list out if I said everything I wanted to say about it. It’s great. Watch it twenty times. 

#3

Pop Teen Epic, or Hoshiiro Girldrop, was the most wildcard that has ever been in seasonal anime, and could have been absolutely anything. What none of us predicted was just how much of anything this show would be, encompassing an unprecedented range of artists, voice acting talent, and whatever AC-bu are, each giving their very individual takes on a self-described shitpost comic strip, sometimes covering the exact same material two or three times, with no regard for any sort of cohesion or structure.

Nothing about this idea should have been funded, nothing in Pop Team Epic has any reason to work, and as a straight adaptation probably wouldn’t have worked. PTE spun gold from trash through the raw effort of artists doing their own thing, which captures the original spirit that made the formerly-cancelled comic popular in a way that’s much too intelligent for haters to understand. Also it got a dub, which is the most ridiculously bad idea i’ve heard in my life, and it owns that it happened.

#4

Spider-man into the Spider-verse is legit the best comic book movie ever made. It’s a fun, expressive twist on the most tired superhero origin story of all time, and showcases some of the most sssssssssstyle and raw, real emotion I’ve ever seen in animation. Its particular selection of influences is brilliant and poignant, rising far above the simple fanservice you’ve come to expect from Spider-man. The unrelenting individualistic spirit of this movie will stick with you the longest in the soundtrack, bravely incorporating a side of pop music that you don’t usually get to see in big-budget productions, pulling soundcloud rappers out of their grody (i’m told) dens into the spotlight with equal importance alongside the heroic score. Spider-verse is all about establishing your own unique flavor, and it manages to overwrite every other entry in this cursed franchise with its bold taste.

#5

It doesn’t make sense to me how amazing Aggretsuko’s dub is. The impeccable timing of each line, the perfect integration with the comedy, and the optimal length of the episodes are all far beyond what I expected from a Netflix show. It not only converted the original series of shorts that I already had on my top 10 the first year into a godlike longer series I didn’t know I wanted, but went to the effort to bring real metal singers in for the karaoke. Honestly just repeat everything I said in my 2016 list and multiply it by five. I hope they make more. They’re making more.

#6

I was pretty slow to pick up anime in the Winter 2018 season, but I never missed Hakumei and Mikochi, maybe because it was like, the only simulcast on my favorite online anime streaming subscription service HiDiVE. The subs weren’t great, and it certainly wasn’t all that popular, but it was just the relaxing show I needed. Hakumei and Mikochi brought me back to my favorite non-racist parts of the Redwall series of books: friendly animals, delicious foods, alcohol, and rustic songs. I was ready to put it on my list for simply being a cute healing foodie anime, but to my surprise, it had much more in store within its tiny world: stark confrontations with mortality, a shy riverside necromancer, the inexplicable remake of The Raid: Redemption in miniature, fashion trends, frogs, carpenter weasels, carpenter skeletons, ghost celebrations, a country beetle with lofty dreams. The list of memorable people, places, and things contained in the gnomish roommates’ tiny world goes on and on.

Masaomi Ando’s directing went completely along with the storybook aesthetic, maybe even to an overall detriment, which is exactly the kind of reckless commitment to style I love to see. The distinctive paneling, constantly gorgeous backgrounds, and deliberate pacing perfectly captured the imaginative stories I loved to read as a kid, but with more alcohol, and more sophisticated themes under the surface. Even something anime rarely get right, endings, were perfectly capstoned every week with a short digest that explored more of the history, legends, and very personal lore of their small, unique world. At its core, Hakumei and Mikochi is the calming story of tiny roommates you think it is, but it’s also so much more. They have day jobs and get drunk and remodel their house after it explodes that one time. They gamble dangerously to escape a blizzard, help a photographer give herself a little credit, and rescue their neighbor from a fancy grave of her own making. By the end of the show Hakumei practically built half a town. The collective stories from their everyday adventures build into something tremendous, and it all wraps up on the most perfect ending sequence I could have hoped for, which calls back to every story thus far as a new verse of the show’s central duet is sung. In any reasonable AnimeOTY Hakumei and Mikochi would be my top anime of 2018, but this year, the competition was unreasonable. This show will just have to settle for being the best regular anime of the year.

#7

Bloom Into You is an incredible adaptation of an apparently yuri romance manga that raises the bar for anime adaptations in general. I don’t know when, but somewhere along the line I stopped expecting that serious capital R Romance anime would have a distinctive style, and gave up to the notion that there was no demand anymore and a stylized, seinen/josei romance would just never get made. Well that was 2016 and then Scum’s Wish happened which this blog has covered extensively.(http://vanilla-blessing.tumblr.com/post/168842023559/how-lerche-adapted-an-average-trashy-romcom-into, http://vanilla-blessing.tumblr.com/post/168789506264/scums-wish-and-our-messy-uncomfortable) To me Bloom Into You feels similar in concept, as a difficult romantic situation with no easy answers or completely happy people. The main perspective character, Yuu, is among my favorite romantic leads in any series; she doesn’t get romantic feelings, although she wants to, and despite being easily motivated, is kind of dispassionate. Her relationship that she was pushed into with Touko might as well be out of mutual convenience, since Touko doesn’t want to fall in love with someone who would love her back, and Yuu doesn’t think she can.

Yuu filters the developments of the series as they grow closer through a very different perspective compared to more emotional leads of usual romance stories, methodically breaking down and considering where she’s at, observing where others are at, before taking an action that makes sense to her. Her growth through the series takes a very different direction than the common dramatic formula; instead of running headfirst into misunderstandings to overcome romantic challenges, she’s compelled to take a step back and position herself in a way that allows her to understand and confront her girlfriend’s issues. The changes that she experiences herself during this process are extremely gradual, but are no less significant to her. Although the dramatic weight of the series is obviously all about Touko, the central thesis of Bloom Into You is to explore Yuu’s complex feelings, and ask to what degree our actions are dictated by our emotions. It’s a heavy topic to be sure, but what makes this anime adaptation special in particular is how the directing and production pull it off, to maybe an even stronger degree than the original material.

Bloom Into You’s most striking and noticeable feature is the incredible conservation of small movements that connect expressions naturally. Minute changes in characters’ faces are vital to observe the almost imperceptible changes in Yuu over the course of the series, and every aspect of the direction is in service of highlighting these subtle moments. In addition, repeated cinematic themes are reinforced over the show’s run, such as the use of light to impart a blinding realization, flower language to inform deeper personalities, even using a literal (not literal) cinema. Symbols such as trains, masks, and mirrors are used constantly and consistently to reinforce the show’s themes, which should be immediately obvious from the opening animation. I’m still kind of stunned that Bloom Into You’s ending theme is such a banger and managed to use an oscillating sine curve in a metaphorical way. These details might be lost without the brilliant layouts, intentionally resembling a stage, which always push the minute differences front and center. As an anime adaptation, Bloom Into You adds so much value in such a subdued, conservative way that it puts uninspired adaptations to shame.

#8 

Thunderbolt Fantasy 2 rounded out the year with a good old new-fashioned Japanese-speaking Chinese-Wuxia Taiwanese puppet show. The novelty of this wild series, like, existing at all, is still incredible to me, but I was really wowed by the new characters and the direction the series went in after the already high standards of the first season. Following the outrageous action and fights of the previous season, I did not expect that season 2’s introductory goon would 1. Live past the first episode 2. So quickly become my favorite swordfighter and 3. Have inarguably the most complete character arc of the entire show thus far. The Princess of Cruelty’s struggle against her inner and outer demons in a unreasonably stacked, desperate situation developed her into easily the most compelling character of the season, and the rest of the cast including a corrupt police officer with extremely disconcerting and bad puppet teeth, a ventriloquist rock-lutist, and a nihilist monk each bring their own unique flavors to the table. The table that they throw the puppets in the air from to make the show. All of the new elements of Thunderbolt Fantasy 2 improved an already strong formula even more, and revealed an emotional depth to the series that I’m excited to see developed further. Some people might not call this anime, but those people haven’t seen Thunderbolt Fantasy for longer than 2 seconds. It’s so anime.

#9

I blasted all available seasons of Star vs the Forces of Evil early in 2018, and it was basically my first foray into straight-up American cartoon magical girl, despite watching all the Japanese ones, which was probably an oversight on my part. That’s because Star Versus is really good, and provided a flavor of magical girl I had been missing out on. I could talk about the excellent sparkle witch aesthetic of the show, fluid animation, and hilarious comedy, but I’d rather spend this blogspace posting Star Butterfly faces. 

#10

A Place Further Than the Universe, or YoriMoi, or my preferred moniker That Antartica Anime, wasn’t on my radar until well after it had finished airing, but it stuck with me for most of the year. Although it’s definitely melodramatic at times, it utilizes this tendency in exactly the right way to enhance the individual characters’ emotional arcs. Even though I was personally sort of taken out of it for many of the girls’ personal trials, :penguin emoji: is obviously thoughtfully written and carefully constructed, and especially knows how to orchestrate an immense emotional reaction with pitch-perfect timing. If there’s one particular aspect this anime has absolute mastery over, it’s hitting that perfect note and cue to create a memorable narrative climax. And for all my bellyaching about not fully relating to some of the characters, Miyake is definitively the #1 qb-relatable character of the year.

Here’s the rest of my list. Don’t @ me about it because if its not on my top ten then it doesnt really count anymore i dont make the rules thats just how it is

11. Yuru Camp

12. Hisone and Masotan

13. Asagao to Kase-san

14. Devilman Crybaby

15. After the Rain

16. Planet With

- friend of the show @queuebae on twitter 

That’s why the 2018 anime of the year award goes to Kaiju Girls 2.