#this is sounding worse than it actually is lol 😭😂😂

[wakanai]

YES GIRL. THERE ARE OTHER FISH IN THE SEA 👏👏👏 I was having my akutagawa moment of just wanting approval from someone who didn't give it and was being sad about it but then she was like "girl you can find better, there's lots of fish in the sea" and I'm like YES. this is the reassurance I needed. Let's be real, I can do better than this. I DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS. AND I CAN DO BETTER THAN THIS. So yeah. It is what it is. If someone doesn't like me back, then it's sad but so what? I like me, and I'm all that matters. So as long as I'm okay, then it's okay. 🥰❤️❤️❤️

[silviakundera]

Snowfall watch comments ep 9-10

Ep 9

Screenwriter knows what the people want, now we're making Vamp Daddy her teacher so we can get hot for mentor vibes too (rubs hands together) yeeeesssssssssssss

Every time nepo baby girl appears, it makes me temporarily root for Loser Li to escape loserdom. god lady..; it is just possible that he could be talking to a female for work or crime reasons JUST MAYBE. (not that it's her damn business if he was on a date. but still. ugh.)

The way he still feels beholden to defend her honor smh. Escape the Jin family clutches, bro. They don't own you.

The Mu family are all dying at 30 and somehow Vamp Daddy is gonna help them pass on their legacy, but tbh I don't follow how.

So Vamp Daddy breaks into Mu Lihua's place to night prowl around, touches her magic artifact thingabob, and it burns him or something idk

Vamp Daddy: "She could hurt me even though she didn't appear before me. If what Mr Mo said was true, I'm sure she didn't come in peace."

...I mean, I also do not think she came in peace, but you did in fact break in and touch her shit without permission. That is an actual thing that just happened.

Fake public breakup trope ✔

lmao the Mu family stole the Profound Yang stone?

WTF does Doctor Bestie actually want with nepo baby ? I feel like there has to be a reason he keeps coming back there.

LOL normally I can't stand her but I gotta admit it was amusing when she tried to explain the idea of caring about people to our mildly evil doctor and he's just like ⁉🤔⁉ 1 ➕ 5 ➖ 2 ➗ 4 = 🎂

Loser Li vs Mi Lan: on one hand, he's no longer underestimating her and doesn't even have a sister complex about her anymore. On the other hand, totally unhinged dude who is fueled by insecurity, self-hatred, and resentment. Which he is making everyone else's problem.

Becoming a vampire and eating that obnoxious nepo baby and her Jin family could fix him.

Or make him worse. ?

Army of guys in Vamp Daddy's mansion to welcome him home. Plus his gf in a cage. Not nice!

Loser Li furthering the gay agenda, "I'm more than just obsessed with you. I've literally devoted myself to you."

Ep 10

Haifong Army HQ, BDSM gay capital of China atm

Flirting between bars, etc et al

I'll say this for the baddies, they all now consider Mi Lan smart and an actual threat.

Mu Lihua is smoking. Literally and figuratively.

Vamp Daddy just taking out a squadren with himself and a sword 👌👌👌👌👌

Yayyyyy murder \o/

Love the squishy sound effects of his rampage

lmaoooooooooooo the Mu magic yang ring has him spinning like a bad powerpoint animated transition

Hannibal Lector face mask is a go

"Since he can't be killed, I'm sure he can't feel pain" ...um... I am not sure that makes any kind of sense at all.

"He said he'll cooperate." Loser Li just visibly came in his pants 😂😭

[lightwise]

TBB S3E7 Reactions

Alright, in lieu of an analysis this week, you guys get some extra long reactions from me. Spoilers for Extraction under the cut!

- Of course the operative is still alive after being completely buried by rocks

- You okay there Rexy boy?

- Aww, Crosshair helping him up

- “There’s always another way” feels like foreshadowing

- CX does sound awfully like Tech when he’s grunting. Either that or DBB has only one way of making groaning noises 😂

- The rim lighting in this episode is such a pain for making screenshots but so satisfying for watching

- The modified clone theme when Wolffe lands 😭

- Wolffe was really getting 3PO flashbacks there with that disgusted sigh

- Isn’t Hilo a canon commando?? Or is he from legends?

- I will never get over how realistic light looks in this show

- There’s no way that CX just caught himself with his hands

- “We’re waiting on you” they’re not leaving Crosshair behind this time 🥹

- Lol Batcher. Licking cute clones faces. Always the priority

- How is this CX such a good shot??

- Oh Wolffe definitely has a constant headache. Idk how he’s actually put up with being in the Empire this long.

- This purple atmosphere is so pretty

- “I’m much worse” — SCREAMING. And the little tilt with his helmet to make his point clear? This man can have me however he wants. Anytime, anywhere. Call me, baby (I hope someone laughed at that lol)

- So Hunter does hear the ships. I wonder if his senses are more tuned for mechanical vibrations and animal life than people

- Lol Howzer is this really the time for a heart to heart?

- “Loyalty meant something to me” 🫡

- Lol that TK Trooper sounded like a mid-Atlantic 50s movie star

- How is the operative this nimble? Seems suspicious

- Smoke bombs are CF99s signature

- Interesting that for once the stun bolts are being used ON the Batch instead of by them.

- Wrecker and Batcher are a great team

- Hunter just dropping that TK and then Crosshair taking out their ship. Phew

- Also not suspicious at all that they’ve neutralized all the TKs and left the clone troopers for later.

- How did Crosshair sense the operative coming up behind them?

- RIP Nemec 😓

- “Too bad” 😩😩😩

- Oh Cross, you know you’re not the best at hand to hand combat. This is a very bad idea

- That waterfall is pretty though

- Dear lord why did they have to make these scenes so dark

- Oh fuck. I can’t even tell who threw who off the cliff

- The whole squad going after Crosshair even though he told them to get to the extraction point 😭

- CX obviously knows Crosshair and has beef with him. Again, for the millionth time—WHAT THE HELL DID HEMLOCK DO TO ALL OF THEM

- “You had your chance to be one of us. You chose the wrong side”. Really can’t wait for this to be explained.

- Crosshair’s reflexes are so fast for being all gangly limbs

- Okay I seriously almost had a heart attack here (this is a rewatch so my reactions aren’t immediate but holy cow I almost couldn’t believe what I was seeing watching Crosshair almost drown. Don’t you dare do it Jen!)

- It is v suspicious how fixated on Crosshair CX is even after he’s neutralized him

- Thank GOD for Howzer

- Okay, I can breathe a little again

- That’s…an awfully long fall for someone to survive

- The TBB team took the water scenes from The Crossing in season 2 and said, yeah, how about we just make that a million times better 🤯

- “That’s not Echo”. No, no it is not

- Good to know that Rex is still considered dead by the Empire (although that honestly seems strange that CX in season 2 knew who he was). That’s heartbreaking that Wolffe thought he was dead this whole time though

- Wow. The respect these two men have for each other

- “Oh I did. Lost a lot of good men that day” *cries in TCW season 7*

- Idk how Rex keeps going honestly

- His voice may be gentle but his face means BUSINESS

- Rex 🤝 Omega - believing the power of friendship can save anyone and anything they come across

- Fuck your orders Wolffe

- “I’ll make sure you’re given a fair trial” you really have no idea who you work for Wolffe do you

- Hunter being willing to stand down when Rex asks him to

- “I know you. As your brother, I’m asking you to do the right thing” the brotherly reunions this season are just paralleling all over the place

- Gregor the handsome fellow that you are. I swear his pauldrons get bigger every time we see him

- “Let my people go” the Exodus vibes are strong here too

- Guess we’re gonna be finding out what makes this CX so special. Still can’t believe he survived.

- Rex just lost almost all of his men again 😣😭

- The sheer respect and care that Hunter and Rex have for each other. The hand on the shoulder. The losses that tie them together. The worry and earnestness in Hunter’s face and tone when he tells Rex he can’t win. He doesn’t emote this much to people he doesn’t consider family.

- The ways Hunter still is hesitant to do anything but run and hide, and Rex still can’t give up. Not quite yet.

- How Hunter won’t be able to either until they know what is really going on with Omega.

[the-kr8tor]

Oil burns are the worst I HATE THEM SM.. The "whoa spider be upon ye" made me giggle way to much Daily Hobie HC! This one has mentions of my personal infection when the song red sex was popular/the infection trend. The moment Hobie heard that you had been bit, he felt his entire world collapse. Hobie pulled you in close, his eyes beginning to glisten with tears in the dim light of your bunker. He reaches up to pull away your face mask, wanting to kiss you again. His face completely falls when you decline it, not wanting to infect him as well, to have him endure the pain that you're going through. But Hobie couldn't live without you in this hellish world. What would be the point if he lost you? You weren't far from stage 4 of the infection, already showing immense breathing difficulties. You began to distance yourself from Hobie's, who's heart broke every day. He just wanted to feel you against him for one last time, but you were already drifting away before he could ever reach for you. Tears welled in his eyes everyday, yet never fell. He tried to stay strong for you, but he didn't want to. He wanted to break down and hug onto you tightly, to beg for you to just let him hold you one last time, but he didn't. His words were stuck in this tightening throat, trying not to let the heavy tears fall. Day and night, his mind was occupied with the loving memories of you two before everything happened. Every night, Hobie curled up in bed, reaching out to your side of the bed, now cold and empty, not even a sliver of your usual aroma present. It was just him, alone. But the day that you never returned was the day the bunker became more colder, and Hobie's tears finally fell. He fell to his knees, tears rolling down his face and dropping into his lap as he uncovered a box filled with pictures of the two of you. Dates, anniversaries, just silly things like how you'd snap photos of him sleeping like 'a Victorian woman', you used to say. Or how he used to snap photos when you weren't ready. You used to say how you weren't photogenic, but you were in his eyes. Not sure what to do with himself, Hobie decided to take a walk out in the apocalyptic world. If he dies, oh well. The world keeps spinning..but for him, it stopped a while ago when you told him you were infected. Gearing up very loosely, with only knuckle wraps and a gun, he ventured out, trudging through the overgrown grass as his mind replayed one of his favourite memories, his jaw clenching while he sobbed silently. While he was walking, he heard a sound. Immediately, Hobie ducked behind a large boulder, listening out to determine if whatever is out there gets closer..that is, until he heard your hoarse voice calling out for him, your speech slurred. Although he knew it wasn't you, his body reacted quicker than his mind, instinctively standing up and blowing his cover. You looked like death. And your distinct, bone wings that had grown out from your shoulder blades signified that you were at the point of no return. It just got worse for you from this point on, and he knew it would. Hobie panicked for a moment, not thinking straight as you lunged towards him, your last bit of consciousness wanting to feel his warmth one last time, but he quickly put a bullet through you before he or you could even blink. What had he done? He lost you completely, and it was his fault. -🐦‍⬛

Ouch! Put some burn cream on it so it doesn't worsen

😂 woah___be upon ye is my favourite thing to say lol

Daily Hobie HC ❤️❤️❤️

NOOOOOOOO POOR HOBIE 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I love apocalypse AUs the angst is top notch

Fr made my heart ache the second Hobie saw r wandering around 🥲

I bet R took one of the pictures so the last thing they saw before they fully turned was Hobie's face without actually endangering him 😭

The wings made me gasp! It's not your average zombie infection 😯

Nuuu he ended it :( I can see him just frozen afterwards until he realises what happened

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi Cas! I just had a question about gender identity, and I really don't know who to turn to and you give great advice and knowledge, but please don't feel pressured to respond

So... with gender dysphoria... I thought it was just something that like came and went, if that makes sense? Like in periods; sorta like how depression episodes are bad some days but fine other days? Sorry I'm probably not describing this properly and that was probably a bad comparison 😂 but now I find out that it's like... a diagnosis? But I thought it was just something you could.. get occasionally. But are you supposed to feel it all the time for it to actually be gender dysphoria??? Aaargh

And is it okay to experience what I presume is gender dysphoria when you're... not trans? Bc I'm a girl, was born a girl, but sometimes (especially late at night, welp) I just hate my body, hate being referred to as a girl, hate having long hair and just wish upon all things that I was born a guy, seen as a guy. But then other days I'll be completely fine with being a girl? So I don't think I'm trans, but then why do I hate being a girl so much sometimes 😭 and I know there's other identities, but I've never really thought 'oh hey this sounds like me!' (And besides it's not really worth trying bc none of my family and friends will every recognise identities outside of the binary. Yay. It's just better for me to suffer through being a girl atp, they'll only ever see me as their 'daughter who thinks she's a boy, enby etc.')

I'm just kinda scared to ask my friends if they feel like this cos I'm not really close to anybody and theyd probably just think I'm weird and avoid me, and I'm not sure if I'm just making it up, yk? Like because there's so much stuff online about new identities and stuff I'm just being 'dragged in' (at least, that's what my mum thinks/will think 🙄, same with my ✨️mental health issues✨️, but that's a whole nother issue lol)

Anyway sorry for the half-rant, I hope you have a fantastic day! 😊

And don't forget about the game...

Hi love!

Okay so the thing with dysphoria is it differs for everyone. So I can share my experience with it, and what I know about others, but I'm not a professional, and I can't speak for everyone. Just keep that in mind.

From what I know- yes, most people feel it in waves. Some days are worse than others and things can set it off. It's not a constant same-level feeling.

But it can also be diagnosed. It can be diagnosed for the same reason other things are diagnosed- some people want a name for the feeling, some people need it diagnosed to seek out treatment (hormone therapy) or for a host of other reasons.

Yes, yes can experience dysphoria when you're not trans. For example, if a cis man put on a dress, fake breasts, and a long wig, he might feel dysphoric. Maybe not, though. Not all trans people feel dysphoric, either.

But what you're describing- sometimes wishing you were born as a guy? That might be something to explore. I know you're afraid to talk to people irl about it and that's okay, but it could be helpful to just do some research about being outside the binary. Only if you want to, though. If you don't want to, that's completely your decision, and no pressure at all <3 You also don't have to identify any particular way, you know? it's all about what's comfortable for you.

Naming you star anon!

[darkfictionjude]

I'm the etymology nonnie, and today is my birthday (I turn 25, which means I'm officially old).

I didn't need to say it, but I wanted to anyways. Maybe I'm just abusing the parasocial relationship. We aren't even acquainted, not truly. Even though I'm sure I'm at least some sort of entity in your brain.

But I didn't came here to speak about my failings and mortality, nor to make you uncomfortable with ramblings about the weirdness of parasocial relationships.

I had some things I wanted to comment.

1) In the fake date quest, we get to recommend a country for the couple to visit. A part of me wonders, however, if the "mom said we had relatives from there" is actually an option for all the countries listed, or is only present in some (I chose Colombia, by the way, in part because if I remember correctly Imre has some roots there, and because my own country, Chile, was not an option and I didn't want to choose Argentina just because we are close geographically). If that's the case, did you plan this addition from the beginning, or was somehow influenced for the ask about the possible hispanic Crown family origin (but, basically, giving in a way a choice to the player, at least to some extent, to choose a specific place where the family could have some roots)?

2) I must admit, although MC and I have different birthday dates, I did imagine a bit my MC (who is male as I am) and Imre spending MC's birthday. Maybe a dinner together, the usual cake, some dancing. As well as the horizontal kind of dancing, if you get what I mean (I'm so cringe, why did I write this? Lol). I'm living vicariously though an MC that hasn't even reached that point in his life yet. And worse, I wouldn't want to be MC either. So this must be Imre's fault. (Have in mind this point was not meant to be a question of any sort, like the first one was, because I'm aware you only want to answer one question at a time; I'm just putting everything together just to not spam your ask box).

3) I wanted to praise the side quest structure presented in the newest update. While it lacks the immersion that the first side quests acquirement had, I think it's more convenient and clear. I knew I was making a choice, and allowed me to make an informed choice of what I wanted to experience. I also enjoyed how the fake dating side quest changed depending on how MC tried to fulfil Charley parents expectations. My MC may not be fit, but damn if I wasn't going to make sure he tried his best at sports. He didn't exercise during his confinement to be defeated by a pigskin, no sir.

You do occupy some small part in my brain etymology nonnie I remember all the nonnies that are named (that sounds oddly romantic 💀💀💀💀😭😭😭)

1. Yes actually it was influenced by the thought that the crown family could have Hispanic origins. I thought it would be a clever way to add ethnicity and background in a way that came naturally into the story. It’s for all the places you can choose so mc can come from anywhere depending on where they’d like to go. I did something interesting though in that all the “anglo” countries it was your father that said you have relatives there and all the “non-anglo” countries that your mom says her side of the family comes from.

2. Not the horizontal dance 😂

3. Oh and thank you. I know the first round of side quests was immersive but I wanted it to be clean on the second round. To have every player see the side quests available and what they entail plus I felt like it needed to be different this time around as mc has sort of stumbled into entrepreneurship. And yeah I did really want the theme of traditional gender norms to colour the fake dating side quest given how disgustingly antiquated Charley’s parents are

And happy 25th!! If Imre was real he’d be 24 years older than you, ah age gap relationships

[ryuichirou]

What's with that adorable sassy little lost child? 😂 Any headcanons for our lil prodigy?

I’m pretty late with this reply, but we got this ask right after we posted a sketch of little Idia, the one that we sketched when we found out that Toboso initially wanted to make him a child prodigy… what an adorable sassy little lost child he is 😭

I’m glad you liked him, Anon! The moment we read that, the image of that cheeky boy appeared before me so brightly and clearly, like, we know exactly what type of a character he would be. Absolutely insufferable in the best way possible! Not so different from Idia as we know him though lol

Oh the headcanons, the headcanons! I do have a couple of thoughts when I look at him, so, here they are.

He is as annoying as regular Idia, sometimes even more-so because he’s a brat, but at the end of the day he is an antisocial shy kid. So if you don’t know better, you might even think that he is cute. But then he opens his mouth…

Idia doesn’t consider himself a kid, he believes that he is even more mature than some of the older kids; he is definitely smarter than them, that’s for sure. But at the same time he can still pull a “why are you being mean to a child, how could you” card whenever it’s beneficial to him.

Ortho carries him around a lot, and sometimes Idia piggybacks on him; in general he is lazier about moving around than his lanky 18 y.o. self. Why not let Ortho do that? He doesn’t mind. It also lets Idia be taller than people he’s talking to. And get away quickly and easily when they get mad at him lol

Adult Idia would cringe very hard if he saw a younger version of himself. A younger Idia would also die of cringe is he saw an adult Idia. They would be horrible to each other…

His taste is almost the same as his 18 y.o. self’s, and he’s seen a lot of the stuff he probably shouldn’t have seen at his age; he’s never had anyone restrict what he’s doing on the internet, so you can’t really shock him with anything. But he is not very interested in the “adult world” of 18+ content.

Despite being a snarky smart-ass and a resident of the anonymous boards who is in his edgy “everyone’s stupid” phase, he is still a bit naïve, especially when it comes to actually genuinely talking to people instead of either trolling them or hiding from them.

He is small, but not super small, it’s just that he’s slouching and stuff. He’ll definitely get taller than Riddle pretty quickly and be very smug about it. God, his relationship with Riddle is probably even worse in this universe…

The tweels are even more terrifying to him than usual, because they are waaaay too tall for his liking, and are way into chasing him. Floyd especially, he chases Idia around a lot, pretty much every time he sees him, because he looks cute and funny when he tries to get away from Floyd. Another reason for Idia to always have Ortho around to pick him up and fly away.

Jade teases Idia a lot and says stuff like “Idia-san, why are you misbehaving, aren’t you our senpai? Shouldn’t you set the example for your underclassmen?”, which irritates Idia a lot. Idia also hates the fact that Jade (and Azul) call him with this honorific, because it always sounds like they are mocking him, especially Jade.

Azul plays boardgames with Idia in this universe too, and he tries very hard to befriend him. He believes that Idia is going to be easy to manipulate because he is younger and more naïve, but it’s not that easy: Idia sees through his bullshit and sees his schemes.

Whenever they play, Azul either complains that Idia is “too childish, but well, he is a child so it’s understandable”, or complains that Idia is “way too smart for his age, but he’s a prodigy, so it’s understandable”. Deep inside, playing chess with a kid younger than him (even though they’re not that different in age) pisses Azul off, he feels foolish when he loses, but if you were to tease him for that, he’d instantly say that it’s an honor to play with Idia-san, who is a such a bright young genius.

[psychewritesbs]

gege akutami is a menace to society actually

in case you haven't read, I'm talking about 215, so you can ignore me when you're ready

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*

*

*

he saw us have a little hope last week and had to send us tumbling again 😢

it's going to be a tough ride for sure ~

I honestly don't know how they'll be able to handle sukuna at full form bc even with the limitations, he was still countering. It'd be even worse if he's willing to work with kenjaku too. For some reason (denial), I have a feeling megumi's going to overcome this. I won't comment more on that because i feel like i'll spiral (cannot believe maki said its weird seeing megumi's face on someone being strong 😭) On another note, sukuna and co's eventual defeat will be worthwhile for how much suffering they've caused and will cause. Sukuna's choice to leave yuji alive will definitely come back to bite him, but it's interesting that his joy comes from seeing yuji suffer and look pathetic than giving him death. He despises everything about yuji and I see him praising others and he calls yuji boring (he's not but I'll let you live today sukuna). I don't like theorizing too too much for fear of raising expectations, but I'm really curious about sukuna's life during the heian period.

When sukuna and uraume laughed at yuji, I felt like I was laughed at too. I guess we'll be seeing his bath scene next.

Anyway, thanks for reading !! Have a good day/night.

(Will I ever go off anon? We'll see one day !!)

HOLA! Happy JJK-Sunday!!!!

Ok. hang I'm just going to go ahead and...

gege akutami is a menace to society actually

There... I felt like it needed to be said louder for the people in the back who may still be on the fence about getting into JJK.

Ok brainrot about chapter 215 under the cut!

Ah yes, no worries about chapter leaks lol. My weekly routine involves checking leaks first thing Wednesday and Friday mornings and nerding out with the moots about it 😂.

Like I am for real worried about JJK ending because what am I going to obsess over when it ends?!!!!!

WHAT KIND OF NORMAL EXISTENCE WILL I BE FORCED TO ENDURE?!!!!!!

But anyways, I did hold off on posting my reply to you until today (Sunday) for those who follow this hellhole of a blog of mine and don't actually read leaks.

he saw us have a little hope last week and had to send us tumbling again 😢

it's going to be a tough ride for sure ~

Yesssss I was hoping we'd get to see Megumi inside the inner domain wrecking Sukuna or at least inflicting some sort of damage 🥲🤧. SOMETHING! ANYTHING!

Regardless, Megumi fighting Sukuna from within whenever his friends are in danger is so... this boy is so beautiful and he doesn't even get it.

To your point about this being a though ride, Frenchie is my voice of reason when it comes to my fatalist fear of Megumi's death. @justafrenchlondoner recently said some good stuff about how Gege is probably trying to get us to feel like all hope is lost before something good happens.

After all, it isn't uncommon to see events continue to escalate in a sort of "it's going to get much much worse before it gets better" kind of way.

For some reason (denial), I have a feeling megumi's going to overcome this. I won't comment more on that because i feel like i'll spiral

Riiiiight so I'm still rather unwilling to let myself hope Megumi is surviving for the mere fact that I don't want to be hurt. That's just my nature tho.

If I break my heart now then I won't be heartbroken later on if it turns out that Megumi is not surviving.

Sound logic as you can see lol. I have a tendency to come up with worst case scenarios.

Despite that, I think the idea of Megumi surviving this ordeal to carry on and change the Jujutsu scheme of things makes a lot of sense. Not to mention having to carry the burden of responsibility for the memory of the people he cared about but lost along the way, quite possibly because of his own miscalculations.

Ugh... depressing.

It's so "Watanabe-ending" in its execution but far, far more depressing, brutal and cruel.

gege akutami is a menace to society actually

On another note, sukuna and co's eventual defeat will be worthwhile for how much suffering they've caused and will cause. Sukuna's choice to leave yuji alive will definitely come back to bite him, but it's interesting that his joy comes from seeing yuji suffer and look pathetic than giving him death.

Yeeeeeeessss. I really like the idea that Sukuna's continued underestimating of Yuji will come back to bite him in the ass. I personally will not be surprised if Yuji takes Sukuna back into himself and then kills himself in a self-sacrificial fashion.

Very Pisces of him. Very dying on the cross for our sins symbolism.

I was also thinking about the idea that Sukuna feeds off of other's suffering too. This whole idea around him being a hedonist with no regards for others takes on a whole new dimension when you consider he might go out of his way to cause suffering because it brings him joy.

It feels like an exploration of a demonic being which made me realize that I think that I've taken for granted that JJK is a horror story and that Gege may be using horror tropes.

This only become clear to me as of late when Sukuna possessed Megumi's body. It was a total execution of demonic possession where the person who gets possessed has to be mentally weakened in order for the demon to take over.

Also, from my understanding of demonic entities, they are said to feed off of negative emotions and actually orchestrate situations that cause suffering precisely so that they can feed off of these emotions.

When sukuna and uraume laughed at yuji, I felt like I was laughed at too.

I couldn't have said it better...

I have to admit that this is one of my favorite panels ever because, as you say, it's SO DESPICABLE of them to laugh at Yuji when he's so utterly broken after having miserably failed at saving Megumi.

I have personally been fascinated with the reactions this panel has gotten because it speaks to something very real.

Whether it is the experience of being bullied or our unwillingness and complete rejection of the very same evil that exists within, I feel like Gege struck a deep cord with the execution.

gege akutami is a menace to society actually

And this is one of the things that have been on my mind about Gege lately--his execution of events as of late has been far more brutal and cruel than before.

Idk how to explain but the events in Shibuya were bad and shocking... but #things right now just feel hopeless and it feels like Gege is unleashing his self-loathing onto his characters--and his self-loathing is cruel and brutal.

With mangaka like him I always have to wonder about their psyche. i.e. CLAMP's Nanase Okawa has an uncanny ability to take you into deep pits of relatable grief and meaningless despair right along with her characters.

All of the above said, I also agree with Frenchie about how I both hate and love Gege for the execution of this moment.

The fact that Gege was able to depict a deep experience of despair through Yuji and then elicit hate from the audience, it speaks to his ability as a story-teller and how the story he's telling resonates deeply with the audience in a cathartic fashion.

Also, not sure if you've seen this post by littleholmes but it includes a photo of what might be the Harima statue in question.

And like... the despair this child statue seems to be experiencing and expressing is so palpable, and I love Gege for making a reference to it because it speaks to Yuji's inner child's grief and helplessness and suffering for not being able to impose his will upon his environment.

Not sure if Spooky will write about it in more detail but I also love what @linkspooky said about the idea that Yuji trying to "Shonen protagonist" his way through things usually doesn't work out.

It's a nice twist on how Shonen mcs just barrel their way through #things with their typical Shonen mc single-minded determination, and everything works out because of the power of friendship or something like that.

Not to sound like a broken record, but this is why I don't understand the idea that JJK is cliché Shonen. There's so much happening underneath the surface that is so rich in commentary on common shonen tropes.

Anyway, thanks for reading !! Have a good day/night.

(Will I ever go off anon? We'll see one day !!)

Thanks for stopping by and sharing all the #thoughts once again!

If you ever come off anon I am looking forward to it. If you don't... well, I'll be looking forward to hearing from you again regardless.

Have a happy JJK Sunday!

[pokehaven]

Hi hi hi hi! I just read through the entire blog and i am SO excited!!! I have a few suggestions actually for various little things 👉👈

Okay okay so like, one of the things that keeps me coming back to PFQ is.. Boxes. It’s the boxes. I love hoarding boxes and then opening them all on special occasions! I like the concept of finding summoning items and it scratches an itch in my brain and boxes are The reason i use the scouring system.

And on that note; oh my god the PFQ scouring system sucks. It could be worse, but it’s something you just click refresh on and walk away. Boring! (Shoutouts to back in the day when you could overwork your Pokémon and they’d run away LMAO 😭😭😭) I think a good alternative would be some sort of (semi?) interactive treasure hunting system/minigame! Maybe taking cues from PMD? 👀 Send your little guys on little adventures!

This is more of a small thing, but since there’s no shelter system (from the sounds of it there’s going to be a mechanic for obtaining new Pokémon another way? Other than trading) maybe a small(?) chance to find “abandoned” Pokémon eggs/nests you can collect the eggs from! (With a chance to get attacked by the parent Mon maybe?) Though i dunno how well that’d fit the Vibes.

Also something something the mining minigame from D/P/Pt to get various stones maybe.

You can tell i like scavenging and collecting things. I’m a Murkrow at heart lol 😂 anyways thank you for your time and thank you for making this 🫡 doing Arceus’ work

Hi, anon!! There really is something about lootboxes that scratches that itch in a lot of our brains—I love it too! One of the purposes of our core features (which also happens to be very interactive!) is meant to be used to gather items/loot. Some of these items can be very rare, such as materials for crafting items for legendaries! This feature can be used as often as players like, and is meant to be used as another way to hunt specials and gather items.

I really love that abandoned Pokémon eggs/nests idea, omg! We might have to implement that, I think that could work well with the vibes we have!

A mining minigame inspired by DPP has been tossed around by our staff before, so I’m sure that will be something that gets implemented down the line! Pretty much all of us adore minigames so it won’t be an at-launch feature, but I promise you minigames WILL be on PokéHaven!

[shai-manahan]

OK OK OK CALM DOWN CALM DOWN THIS IS NOT AM EMERGENCY BUT I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW JUST HOW MUCH I LOVE YOUR WRITING AND IF LIKE- ????? THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE THINGS IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND OMG THAT NIGHTMARE SCENE IS GIVING ME NIGHTMARES THE MORE I THINK ABOUT IT SO I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU THAT I ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOUR WORK AND HOW GLAD IM THAT YOU DECIDED TO BRING IT TO LIFE- SO KEEP IT UP AND PLEASE TAKE CARE YOUR HEALTH AS WELL 👍👍👍👍👍👍

also i have a few theories about our MC if you don't mind-

1. so... as i played through the nightmare scene for the 9th time in a row to fully relish the horror and trauma, i realized that our dear (but unfortunate) MC must have gone through something MUCH MUCH worse than merely watching their father get oofed off by their mother 🤔🤔🤔 because i once read somewhere that if someone experiences like a really bad traumatic experience their brain will instinctively suppress their memories and lock them away to protect the person from getting anymore affected and also to give them a sense of normality? dunno about that our brains can be really mysterious sometimes, which brings me to my second theory

2. OK OK OK i know this may sound crazy and also scientifically inaccurate, but i think MC has some sort of Dissociative disorder? i mean- how do you explain their sudden black out from their home to their journey all the way to Bale's territory and the bar? or maybe im just overthinking it and perhaps its somehow related to the hallucinations and the syringes that have been emphasized over multiples times in the demo

3. why do i feel our MC is being drugged with something 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 or maybe something happened before or after the incident with their father otherwise why would Alex act so sus, Vincent too, YALL TOO SUS

and so ends my theory spree as i have exhausted my remaining two brain cells to make SOME kind of sense and connection through this whole theory thing

ALSO ALSO ALONZO WHY DO I HAVE A FEELING I WRONGED YOU SOMEHOW AND SOMEWHERE AND IF I DID IM SO SORRY -

which puts me to my next question, i wonder why our MC just offed 11 of their coworkers 🤔 corruption maybe? whatever the case Is, it still doesn't excuse bernard (or whatever his name is, he's a jerk) for acting like the lil piece of poop he is, to both us and finn cause oh boy imma bout to throw hands (you better sleep with one eye open you lil shit)

ALSO ALSO ALSO MORE WESLEY LORE YAY omg now i feel kinda conflicted rn like i still wanna sock that lil bastard for exposing us but i feel kinda pity for him too, also that wholesome moment between them was so cute if not for the current angsty situation, but i guess i'll them off with one good bish slap on the face for the whole expose before listening to their side of the story

and now finally, after going through your whole blog i realized that we have a hidden mental health stat- lol my mc is gonna be one helluva self sabotaging half depressed boi bu the end of this IF 😂

SORRY FOR THE EXTREMELY LONG RANT / ASK I WAS JUST TOO EXCITED AFTER PLAYING THE WHOLE DEMO AGAIN OVER 9 TIMES BEFORE FINALLY FEELING SATISFIED- IM SORRY 😭😅

Oh that is long, but don't be sorry! I love seeing long messages like this 😌And I’m so glad you love the story to this extent 😭

First of all, so there'll be no misunderstandings, I want to make it clear that what the MC is going through isn't exactly a dissociative disorder, although there is some degree of disassociation happening. I can't explain further because it's a very huge spoiler, but not everything they've been experiencing can be solely attributed to the level of trauma and other related occurrences that DID patients often went through before being diagnosed. It's a little... different.

This does not mean, however, that the MC has no repressed memories 😔 If you look carefully, there are actually some more hints spread throughout the demo, although some of them are hidden behind certain routes. A lot are in Chapter 2, though. Anyway, the revelations relating to it won’t be the focus of Book 1, but there will be a lot more clues in the future.

And yeah, I'm afraid Alex and Vincent will continue to be sus all the way.

YALL TOO SUS

ah but I wouldn’t have done my job right if they’re not sus :)))

why do i feel our MC is being drugged with something 🤔

🤔🤔🤔

ALSO ALSO ALONZO WHY DO I HAVE A FEELING I WRONGED YOU SOMEHOW AND SOMEWHERE AND IF I DID IM SO SORRY

Well, I suppose that depends on the perspective but Alonzo does believe the MC has wronged them haha which is tbh actually valid.

which puts me to my next question, i wonder why our MC just offed 11 of their coworkers 🤔 corruption maybe?

To be fair, I don't think arresting them counts as offing lmao but yeah there's a heavy corruption occurring within the police force and everybody knows it; it's just that most of the people in Gaile cannot do anything to stop it. And don't worry about Bertrand, he already sleeps with one eye open lmaoooo although he does have kind of a huge role (spoiler: he will always be an asshole).

Wesley's reuinion scene, though... if you all think the flashback scene is already conflicting you, well, the reunion might uh.... actually nevermind, I'm not gonna spoil it.

and now finally, after going through your whole blog i realized that we have a hidden mental health stat- lol my mc is gonna be one helluva self sabotaging half depressed boi bu the end of this IF 😂

There are four types of mental health stats in the demo right now, but I'm arranging all the variables in a spreadsheet to see if I've missed anything. I kinda have a lot of them lmfao.

[kingkatsuki]

Ooh those pj's sound cute and comfy!!

And I am definitely not sleeping enough lol, my typical bed time is like 1 to 2am, I accidentally stayed up until 6am one day lol. My cats wake me up at like 430-530am everyday to feed them, I am pretty sure they got on that schedule when I was doggy sitting my brother's dog back in June or July I can't remember lol, (I can send a pic of said dog if you would like!) he went on a vacay with his gf so I stayed at his apartment for a week, so I doggy and apartment sat for him, while I was there my parents fed my cats and they get up early lol, so I guess that schedule just stuck to my cats. Mainly my big grey boi he is the waker uper lol!

That gives me a question actually, do you get cranky when or if someone wakes you up, like before you are ready to wake up? Because I get very cranky lol, I normally calm down after I eat, I guess it's the lack of sleep then getting woke up on said lack of sleep, but that's a problem for me to deal with lol!

Omg now it’s getting colder my cat is getting like that too! She wakes me up at 5-7am desperate for food like she’s starving😭😂 although maybe it’s my fault because she’s never been on a schedule like that before… but I think I’m glad😅

I’m always cranky when someone wakes me up, my bfs sleep schedule is worse than mine and he can function on less sleep so he’s always waking me up and I hate it. That paired with my cat means I can be grumpy in the mornings a lot until I have coffee!!😂💕

[bridgertonworld]

im posting this non-anon because idrfc who sees this or if i am going to be too mean

honestly i don't genuinely get what happened because i wasn't really active but from i gathered from this post, that's really unacceptable and MAKES NO SENSE😭😭 people are just really crazy atp, even if I am CRAZILY IN LOVE with someone why does someone else have to pay for this??? WHY HATE ON SOMEONE WHO JUST WANTED TO HAPPY???? she did nothing sneaky or bad, and she was actually excited to share the news and that she met Luke, even if you'd speculate something is going on between them (not that i justify it or approve of that because they're human beings just like us ffs) it should STOP right after she denies it all and you all should respect that and respect her.

and honestly crazy fans like you all, are the ones giving our fandom bad reputation (aside from that there's actually a lot of toxicity in the fandom but every fandom got this, I've seen worse throughout my life LMFAO) but truly you're ruining it for people who genuinely love the show, and love luke, and appreciate his talents. I wouldn't be surprised if he hates us now, or if he doesn't trust us, really fucking amazing right??? LIKE OMFL now ppl who have done NOTHING but purely NORMALLY love him and respect him MAYBE lost their chances him respecting them wow. Thank you guys.

honestly i don't get the concept behind being mean, and hating somebody that you don't know, geniunely because they KNOW somebody. Personally my parents raised me better than this😭😭, and you all are genuinely bad people. Sorry I just don't make the rules. and of course it had to be another woman that you all brought down, instead of being happy for her, compliment her, BEING NICE, SUPPORTIVE, no of course “IT'S ANOTHER WOMAN WE HAVE TO FUCKING FUCK HER UP AS WOMEN MORE THAN FUCKING GENDER (specifically men) COULD DOO!!!!!😜😜😜😜” honestly so fucking stupid, and pathetic, as women we should support one another, not hate on one another. bffr, y'all are so disappointing tbh.

The girl's friend, and the girl herself seems sweet and sound really adorable, love a friend who stands up for their friends<3💓🫶 but my offer is still up, I WANNA BE THE GIRL'S FRIEND SO BAD I GENUINELY MEAN IT, honestly I'd be honoured and lucky she seems like the sweetest person like ever (I LOVE YAPPING IF YOU COULDN'T TELL😍🎀) so I would love to listen to her talk on and on, ask my friends I am the greatest listener ahahahaha, honestly it breaks my heart that she doesn't think she's worthy enough when in my opinion from what i gathered she might be worthier than MANY PEOPLE IN THIS FANDOM, ffs😭

Honestly that is so unnecessary like do you bitches think Luke would actually pick you???😂😂 Especially if you hate on someone he knows in real life???💀💀 EMBARRASSING FOR YOU ALL. honestly go touch some grass, get a life, and a therapy to sort out your crazy insane jealousy issues (and i say this as someone who does indeed have jealousy issues😂 but i am responsible, considerate of other people, logical, I keep my fangirling and craziness for myself (and no im not a loner, I have perfect friends, but im js a normal person lol) so I recommend you guys do that as well<3)

And I say this as someone who is incredibly and helplessly in love with Luke (i never have met him and probably never will sad lol anyways, so i don't mean to speculate, assume something, although I know what I am going to say is kind of is?????) but honestly from what i’ve read on this page luke might actually be into tha girl romantically (she is seriously worth it!!!!!) and if he truly is (idc if you all are going to be mad jealous because of this) but not people like you who are gonna stop him from what he wants💀💀💀💀 and no he won't pick your sad arse over someone like her she sounds like the sweetest person in the world, so go to hell, y'all can never be like her anyways obviously😂😂, and honestly even if he isn't into her romantically he DEFINITELY wants be her friend (this one is not assumptions it is based on facts, what happened according to people on this page) and honestly I am aure he wouldn't appreciate you guys hating on her, on someone he wants to be friends with (i dont blame him i want to too) or already considers a friend.

Last but not least again I REALLY WANT TO BE HER FRIEEENNDD😭😭😭😭 I know that's not possible but if there's a possibility of it, can pls her friend dm me? Text me here??😭😭 (I wouldn't mind being the her friend's friend either<3 bec her friend seems cool as well) But if it is not a possibility I totally understand and respect that!!!!!!!!💘💓🫶. And would want to wish you, her, the person who manages this blog or creator of it, Luke, every genuine kind person a nice day, and happy life<3💓 have a nice nice dayyy, BYE❤️

Sharing this.

[acourtofquestions]

Tonight’s read is EoS Chapter 54:

Thoughts below the spoiler bar of safety for the chapter :-)

*thoughts to be updated shortly* — Current heading into the chapter thoughts are in the initial tags ;-) — P.S. from chapter 53 ending; what is Fenrys asking Rowan to do? — Am I supposed to know? — He asked to be “killed before that order is given” and I’m not sure if “that” order is… is it to execute Lorcan? Or kidnap Aelin for a “long” Maeve style punishment, Or a worse “what if” fear of Maeve being unhinged enough to fear Aelin with Rowan & Lorcan so much that she would just kill her without question? Or is this referencing some personal history like his brother “the anchor” & Maeve using something against him… or something else entirely??? And ALSO either way it’s sad and I don’t want that, so I’m even MORE concerned!!!

— The way Manon just so casually calls Rowan the Queen’s mate because it’s obvious to EVERYONE

— Very intrigued by the forms Lysandra chooses to take; like the current Viper (symbolism, but backwards (more like Rep Taylor, than actual “snake”) so I’m HERE. FOR. IT. flip the script queens) but more so because it’s interesting to pick a form that not only blends in/preps for the monsters around them but also scares everyone (including their “team” members like Fenrys or Manon who she doesn’t yet trust) it acts as a protective mechanism both ways.

— CONCERNED/how interesting that they ARE walking in the swamps that Elide & Lorcan avoided at ALL cost… perhaps due to sheer boiling power & a larger group?.. idk. but I don’t trust it😅… this is becoming the theme for EoS lol😅 “I don’t trust it! BUT ITS FINE—IT BETTER BE FINE😅😅”

— "Because she died. And even before she did, this world saw to it that she suffered, and was afraid, and alone. And even though no one will remember who she was, I do. I will never forget the color of her eyes, or the way she smiled. And I will never forgive them for taking it away." — don’t mind me just gonna go cry (and make annotations here since my book apps aren’t working and I’m too impatient for Libby to keep waiting to read this one)

— okay what do they mean by “lock” …this whole time I’ve been thinking “lock” like a door, cause (wyrd)KEYS… but now without having anything they are saying they reached “the lock” so is this like a kind of island, or water system, or what???

— "Perhaps she'd try to be better about it, if this dread was at all like what they felt." — UH YEAH THEY DO, thank you for finally having some preservation to scare me a little less😂

— okay, so, like the Lysandra post I made recently about her guarding Aelin’s back just got more interesting with that now as Manon’s job

— "She could almost feel him sliding into that frozen, raging place-- where born instinct and centuries of training had him seeing the world as a killing field, and willing to do anything to eradicate any threats to her. Not just his Fae nature--but Rowan's nature. To protect, to shield, to fight for what and who he loved." — ugh I love him and them and the Rowan’s nature part🥹🥹🥹 TOO MUCH LOVE I JUST🥹

— "Even in the marshes, it was easy to become drunk on him, on the taste and smell and sound and feel of him." — once again Kanej vibes with the “if he could bottle the sound and get drunk off her laughter every night” quote🥹😭once again HE SMELLS LIKE HOME TERRASEN

— Them training sword names I LOVE THEM

— "Blame my ancestor." She certainly did. For many, many things." — first off glad we’re finally talking about that, secondly not ancestorS and it’s singular *coughs Elena* (unless it’s a hint at her and Manon but I doubt it😂)

— JUST SAY THAT YOUR MATES ALREADY AND MAKE THE TIME AND DONT DO IT ON DEATHS DOOR PLEASE

— thinking the word “coward” is what hit her heart😭

— Manon did listen though…

— “throw a rock?”😂 (okay Indiana Aelin)

— "As if they’d done a hundred times before" — once again guarding back, are they related, players in the game, I love them… come on it’ll all be fine with these two goddesses

— please don’t kill Lorcan but Lorcan don’t you dare hurt Aelin or steal the ding dang keys but hey Elide come meet the fam

— your telling me it’s bad enough Lorcan is warning them to get out not even revenge but that even for his endearing “bitch queen”😂

— I can’t tell if Manon was hopeful or terrified at the idea of the Iron-teeth coming😭🖤

— crap the ilken know the Wyrdkey too now and so does Lorcan so they’ll both be fighting with too much info UGH (why can’t they all just kiss, open a treasure chest, go to a fancy suite, and be left alone for a dang second to be happy or not about to die with the weight of everything on a couple of teenage immortals) p.s. AUTOCORRECT ITS NOT SILKEN ITS ILKEN🤦‍♀️

— "and she knew he'd been taking in the horizon and surrounding lands not for any chance of winning the battle that was sure to come, but for any shot at getting her out. — MY HEART

— Even if the rest of them had to buy her time with their own lives." — Ummm no (don’t you dare get dumb on me Gavriel…. Wait shit if they see Lorcan are they gonna have to fight him not run…?!?)

— “five hundred” — holy shit we are way in over our heads… how are there even that many… oh goodness… time to go get sleep deprived😂 please tell me ur bad at guestimstes?

P.S. old exclamation THE AMULET IS THE WITCH TRIAD THING!!!

[charlieconwayy]

Re: the last ask I sent I’m so sorry you had to go through that 😭 I really hope you’re doing better now & in a better place where you feel accepted and loved. & I’m glad that at least that album was able to help you through it. Music really is a life saver and Reputation similarly enough actually became my second favorite Taylor album over the last year or so and I define very hard with this is why we can’t have nice things too, I don’t think the song deserves to be clowned at all it’s very relatable! The lyric “There I was, giving you a second chance but you stabbed me in the back while shaking my hand” literally describes this situation I had with a guy and also look what you made me do I literally had that song on repeat for most of this year because of said situation with guy who screwed me over, I only saw him as a friend but it actually was worse than any heartbreak I’ve had from someone I was in love with. Both of those songs but especially lwymmd got me through. “Not for me not for me all I think about is karma” literally was me for several months lmao

Those are all great songs! I relate to anti hero a lot too but instead of all the people I’ve ghosted it’s all the people that have ghosted me 😂😭 but like “I wake up screaming from dreaming one day, I'll watch as you're leaving and life will lose all its meaning” is possibly the lyric of hers I relate to most it’s so real. Clean is another one I love dearly too! The one I originally was referring to in my original ask was blank space and I’m so excited to hear the re recorded version.

The songs about your friend It sounds like your friend is great and sees how wonderful you are and hope you continue to have him in your life ❤️ it sounds like there’s also some feelings there so I hope that things work out if that’s what you’re looking for!

If I had to describe the guy I’ve loved for years who I also considered my dearest friend in Taylor songs it would be I almost do and everything has changed. I still have hope though. I just saw him a few weeks ago and what’s funny is before I saw him (i wasn’t even planning to I was caught by surprise, great day though) everything has changed was the song I was listening to right before I unexpectedly saw him. Maybe I’m silly but I took it as kind of a sign idk lol.

I love how many songs Taylor has that can be applied to so many different situations. Lyrical genius I love her so much!

I loved reading your answers :) sorry this was a long response haha

thank you :') i appreciate that!

yeah you get it, reputation just hits differently when you've been betrayed, i don't think she has another album anywhere near that

oh yeah blank space is like an anthem for us bpd bitches haha so i love that one!! anti-hero is the first taylor song in forever that i felt genuinely connected to, the lyric that always comes to mind for me is "i'll stare directly at the sun but never at the mirror"

yeah he's......special. i'll leave it at that <3

sounds like we may be in a similar boat with our best friends. it's so funny the way that sometimes a specific song will play and illicit those emotions from you all over again. i don't think you're being silly. i think if it's been years and you still love him, there is something there, otherwise you would've given up.

i love taylor, but olivia will always be my number one haha just had to say that!

thank you so much for writing in!! i loved discussing this w you :)

[darkestcorners]

Just saw your ratings of Least to Worst Character of your stories. In my opinion, I feel like Friendly Ghost should be at Polarity JK’s spot because I mean... he killed Friendly Ghost OC just to be with him 😭 (Polarity JK is still no any better than anyone but this is only for the sake of this scale/ratings 😆)

Okay... So I was actually contemplating if I will send this to you because my mind is like—at least Friendly Ghost OC is dead and would not experience any hardship in this lifetime already although she will not be able to do what she really wants to do in her life but I also realized... ghost is literally real in this fic so OC will just become a ghost as well and she will be stuck in that house forever + her innocent Dad who may end up being the suspect (but I’m counting on Officer Kim) 🙁

And as for Polarity, it’s still bad... because even though she’s alive—she can’t really do what she wanted to do (even including some/most of her “need” to do). Being manipulated. Being blackmailed and she’s completely aware she can’t do anything about it because of JK’s power. It’s like in this parallel universe, it’s better to be dead than being alive. And even though I’m not fond of Eunji because of shitty of a friend she is to OC, she still doesn’t deserve what JK did to her. I will never ever justify cheating but (this sounds really contradicting but I hope y’all get what I’m trying to point out 😭) as much as I want to partly blame OC, we all know that she can’t really do anything because JK keeps on blackmailing her (and the story is still on-going, we still need a full background if JK’s family is really THAT powerful because if they are... OC’s only escape is either stockholm syndrome or death. 😬

This is so long to the point I don’t really know who’s worse than the two. For the sake of my peace of mind, I’ll just gonna give them the same spot LMFAO

Forgive me because this is a little bit long (or is it not 😂) and please bare with my grammar hehe

Btw, thank you really for making amazing stories, always looking forward to your future updates and new aus! Take care! 🥰

This is so funny because your explanations were exactly what was running through my head trying to rank them haha! I actually meant to tie Polarity JK and Friendly Ghost JK for the same spot but I just realized I didn’t mention that lol my bad!

I agree with everything you said! Undeniably Friendly Ghost JK would be higher solely on the fact that he did murder the MC. My mind was just automatically judging his overall character since he does have a pretty sad backstory ( that isn’t explained in the fic ) so I was conflicted haha

And yes Polarity JK really is a menace, I was also taking in the amount of mental abuse he has put the MC through ( and what he did to Eunji , regardless if she was a bad friend ) He has broken her down so much and he’s shown to be a pretty full blown narcissist that is willing to make it her suffer as long as he gets what he wants ( which can lead her to a dark mental space )

Thank you for your thoughts babes! ❤️🥰 I really enjoyed reading what you think and your input on the characters :)

[whumpmatsus]

Howdy fam-fam! Still recovering from that Iromatsu whump you massacred me with (lol it was consensual though so I don't blame you 😂😭) but I'd still like to make another request, please! I'd like to throw a mega combo of 10A + 20 for, you guessed it, TODOMA-Ichi, for Ichimatsu please 😂👌

Ngl I thought I'd get annoying real fast with all the Ichi whump requests, but then you showed what you had in your inbox for WIPs and I felt a little better, because everyone loves to request different things so often! What can I say, I can't deny the Ichimatsu whump whore in me (I'm awful😂😭) lol thanks for reading my ramblings and thanks for the feels! Love you fam! 💞

Ultimate Whump Writing Meme! / ACCEPTING!

10. Mood disorders

A. Major depression/clinical depression

+

20. Starvation

GIRL PLEASE 😂😂😂

also ur right you don’t blame me for that shit because u literally asked for it fam XD

you are NEVER EVER annoying me with Ichi whump!! the only thing I love more than Ichimatsu is torturing Ichimatsu, you know I’m right there with you being an Ichi whump whore

ANYWAYS what’s interesting is that depression can actually be a potential cause of starvation, i.e. when a person with depression experiences those symptoms that make basic hygiene and functioning and taking care of themselves difficult, so... this wasn’t too big a leap to figure how best to put these two things together! uwu

I had a good time writing it, the first half or so is Allmatsu with some Nenchuu and Parka sprinkled in, then the last half is mostly Iromatsu because I’m fucking WEAK 😂

enjooooooy fam-fam!

-

When it comes right down to it, it’s not as if Ichimatsu means to miss meals.

One would think that because he and his brothers eat at home most of the time, it would be harder to do that without drawing attention. They all have breakfast, lunch, and dinner around the same table, at the same time. At least one of them always notices when one isn’t eating.

They do, too. Osomatsu especially takes note of it and tries to prod if someone isn’t eating like usual; as the oldest, he asks a barrage of questions. “How come you’re not eating? Is your stomach upset? Do you feel sick?” As much as he pretends to be a complete shithead, he loves his brothers. He doesn’t let anything slip by.

That said, he takes it easier on Ichimatsu. He accepts, “Depression’s a bitch and I’m not hungry” as an answer readily from Ichimatsu. After all, what’s he going to do, jump across the table and force breakfast down his little brother’s throat? As long as Ichimatsu takes a bite or two at meals, more than just nothing, he’s satisfied.

Most of the time, these spells of not wanting to eat because of his depression only last a day or two. After that point, he gets too hungry and he literally has to force food into his mouth, or have someone do it for him. Once he eats, he even feels a little better overall. The whole process is stupid and he really wishes his brain wouldn’t be like this. It’s just lucky that the lack of appetite never lasts too long.

However, at the moment he’s struggling to remember eating more than a few bites in the last couple of weeks.

It’s not that he isn’t hungry. On the contrary, his stomach growls at every meal and he sort of wants to eat. The problem is the depression whispering in his ear worse than normal, partly telling him he doesn’t deserve the food and partly telling him nothing would taste good and partly telling him he just doesn’t have the energy to eat.

That’s strange and stupid, to think he’s too exhausted to lift a piece of food in his chopsticks, put it in his mouth, chew it, and swallow it. It just sounds like a lot of work, particularly because it wouldn’t just be one time. He’d have to do it over and over until he’d eaten a full meal. What would it be? Ten times of lifting the food, putting it in his mouth, chewing it, and swallowing it? Twenty? How much is he supposed to eat?

He’s definitely not going to ask one of his brothers to feed him regularly. That’s fucking humiliating, even though he knows any of them would do it in a heartbeat if they knew his depression was affecting his ability to eat.

It is, but he doesn’t want them worrying. If it were just a handful of days, he would ask one of them to help him shove some food down his throat. It’s been several weeks, though. Part of him wonders why no one has caught on, because it’s never happened quite like this before. Osomatsu at least has to be noticing that Ichimatsu only takes a couple bites at each meal, right?

Then his stupid unbalanced brain kicks him right down again. With wonderful thoughts such as, Of course he doesn’t notice, dumbass. You think he really cares that you’re not eating enough? and Maybe he notices, but he’s stopped giving a shit. They all want you dead anyway.

It’s all he can do to shut that crap up, and it doesn’t work very well. He still can’t bring himself to take more than three bites at a time. After that, he’s too drained to keep going even though he’s hungry.

It would be a miracle if he’s eaten an actual full meal in the last two weeks or so. The worst part is that he has fucking hunger pangs, painful and almost like he’s being stabbed in the stomach, and even that isn’t motivation enough for his depression to step aside and let him eat.

Because he’s still trying to eat a little, because he hasn’t gone to eating nothing at all, his brothers apparently haven’t raised the alarm. He thinks if they knew how bad this was, they’d all be stuffing food into his mouth at every opportunity.

Staring down at the table full of food right now during today’s lunch is borderline torture. He’s taken two bites, just like he did at breakfast, and he’s fighting to keep his eyes open. Everything smells so good, his mouth is watering, and yet it feels like there’s a lead weight tied to his arm. Raising it to take another bite is impossible.

The sound of his brothers chewing their own food, enjoying the meal, making semi-pleasant conversation, is unbearable. His head is foggy from lack of food… everything is annoying… his heart feels like it’s soft-shoeing against his ribs… his breathing is kind of funny, too, isn’t it?

Dammit. All he can think about is how great everything tastes, like it always does, how much he wants to eat more than a couple bites and how little energy he has because he hasn’t been eating enough. To his mind, a tall glass of ice water and going back to sleep sounds like a good replacement, though.

He lifts his cup of tea to his lips, sipping at it as fast as he can without hurting his stomach. Uh… is… is my hand shaking…? Fuck… I’m so tired…

“Hey, Ichimatsu,” a voice breaks him out of his thoughts. It’s easy enough to identify, so he doesn’t have to look up, although he does anyway. Choromatsu’s gaze is more than a little concerned. “Aren’t you going to eat the rest of your lunch? You only took, like, two bites and we’re all almost done.”

Osomatsu reaches over to nudge the fourth eldest. “Yeah, you haven’t been eating a lot lately. What’s going on, dude?? You not feeling good?”

“It’s ‘well’, Osomatsu. Not feeling ‘well’.”

“Ah, shut the fuck up, Fappy.” Osomatsu pops in the last bite of his own food, speaking around it. “So, what’s up, Ichimacchan? Does your stomach hurt?”

He can’t… he can’t do this. He doesn’t want to admit how bad it’s gotten. Not only does it make him feel like a failure as an adult, that he can’t even manage to fucking feed himself, he also doesn’t want his brothers to worry. They worry enough about him already even though they shouldn’t.

He swallows another mouthful of tea before trying to answer. “No… it’s just… the depression again. Don’t feel like doing anything, you know?”

“Oh.” Osomatsu takes advantage of the general mood to sneak a sausage off Choromatsu’s plate and into his mouth. “Well, you want one of us to shove something down you? You gotta eat, bro!”

“… Hey! Osomatsu!” A glare is sent the eldest’s way as Choromatsu processes that part of his meal was just stolen. “That was mine, you thief!”

“Hey, yourself, Choromacchan. You know the rule, I’m the big dog, so anything you’re not actively chewing could be mine. Mmf… put that huge, veiny brain of yours to good use and figure out what we’re gonna do about Ichimatsu.”

“You don’t need to do anything about me,” Ichimatsu huffs. God, they’re all so fucking loud and obnoxious. He’s got walking headaches for brothers. “I’m fine. It’ll probably be better by tomorrow.”

Except, he doesn’t know that. If it hasn’t gotten better by now, why would it suddenly be any better by tomorrow?

Jyushimatsu is long done with his own food and on his third cup of tea, poking at Ichimatsu’s shoulder. “Aaaah, Ichimatsu-nii-san, maybe you could come play baseball with me! That might get your energy back up! Wake up your whole body!”

Oh, for the love of all that is crap, no. That’s the worst idea Ichimatsu has ever heard. If he can’t manage to get himself fed, how the hell would he play baseball right now in any way? He thinks he’d puke stomach acid if he let himself be waved around on the bat, and trying to be active would just result in passing out.

“Probably not today, Jyushi,” he sighs. He feels a little guilty saying that; normally he loves spending time with his little brother. It’s just hard when he can’t imagine himself walking more than a couple steps today. He’s not even sure he can drag himself up the stairs to the spare room. “I think I’m gonna take a nap.”

With that, he pushes himself away from the table. Why even keep up the charade? Most of the others are nearly done with their meal, he’s told them what the problem is, and he doesn’t need to be sitting here trying to choke down the rest of his tea and violently trying to ignore every single stupid thing they say.

“I’m gonna head upstairs and try to sleep this shit off,” he mumbles, just so everyone else knows the general plan. Not only does his depression screw with his ability to eat properly, they all know it fucks with his sleeping too. “Wake me for dinner, I guess.”

He hears Choromatsu hum as he gets to his feet. “Okay, well, try to get some rest. If you won’t bite our heads off, we can come up with some snacks later and maybe get some food in you.”

Ichimatsu raises his hand and turns toward the doorway. “Yeah, I’ll try not to. Just… uh… uh, just… um…”

Oh, fuck.

Everything happens in quick succession, so fast he can’t stop it even if he tried. As soon as he turns, a wave of dizziness crashes over him. His head spins like a top, and he feels as if he’s floating outside his body. A sharp, gnawing pain shoots through his body from his stomach, too empty, a black hole collapsing in on itself.

He goes down like a bag of rocks. It’s just lucky the floor is soft.

The last thing he hears is Choromatsu shouting, “Oh, my God! MOM! Ichimatsu just passed out!!”, then he slips into darkness.

-

When Ichimatsu wakes up, the lights are too bright. He can see them through his eyelids. Things are too noisy; there’s beeping and people walking by and people talking and…

… A lullaby being hummed in a low deep voice?

He’s still tired, but he feels a little better than he remembers feeling a few hours ago. Everything is kind of achy, his heart is less fluttery, and the hunger pangs aren’t quite as bad as they were. He barely recalls anything after getting up to leave the table at lunch, a little bit about feeling lightheaded and then hearing one of his brothers yell.

How did he get here? Where is ‘here’? This definitely isn’t home. The beeping isn’t anything he recognizes, and the scent of antiseptic is, like, burning his sinuses.

He lets out a soft groan and tries to turn onto his side, only to find there’s something stuck in his arm. A glance down reveals that it’s… an IV line? Shit. There’s a needle in his arm, connected to a tube, connected to a bag, of who fucking knows what.

The activity catches the attention of whoever’s with him, and when he feels a hand full of calluses gently holding his arm as if to keep him down, he knows instantly that his only companion in the room is Karamatsu. “Careful now, brother. You can’t move too much or you’ll pull that out, and you need it right now.”

“Mmmh… Kara…?” Ichimatsu tries to relax, having one of his brothers so close now. Even though it’s Karamatsu, this is still his big brother. It’s infinitely better than waking up alone in a weird place after feeling like crap. “Where am I?”

Karamatsu’s hand moves down so that Ichimatsu can take it. “The hospital. Everyone else stepped out for just a moment to get something to eat.” He thinks he hears a frown in his brother’s voice. “Coincidentally, eating seems to be your problem, too.”

He does his best to scoff. It comes out weak and has none of his usual bite to it, which is aggravating. “Yeah, well. I’m fucking starving.”

When Karamatsu speaks again, his voice sounds close to breaking. “Yes, you literally are.”

… Oh. Well. Shit. That is… not promising.

“Uhhhh.” Although Ichimatsu isn’t stupid, he’s having trouble fully putting the pieces together. “What… what happened? All I remember is getting up from the table, then the world went black.”

“Hmph. You fainted. The doctor said it’s because you’re undernourished. They’ve got you on intravenous nutrition right now to try and… get everything back in order before they make you start eating real food again.” Karamatsu snorts, though there’s absolutely no derision or amusement in it. “All the nurses are calling your room ‘Starvation Central’.”

Okay. Welp. None of that is good at all. For medical professionals to actually use the term starvation in reference to him, it must be an accurate description. Was he really eating that little that he basically starved himself??

He… supposes there’s really no denying that’s what happened. In the last two weeks, he’s likely only eaten like ten bites of food a day, if that. No full meals. Not even half a meal or a third of a meal like Choromatsu sometimes does.

The thought strikes him that he might only be not more seriously ill because he’s been drinking enough water. That’s a scary thought; that he literally could have starved himself to death. Even though he gets those suicidal feelings sometimes, this time it wasn’t intentional, and… he doesn’t want to die. Not really.

He doesn’t know what to say, though. Karamatsu is obviously worried about him, he’s sure all of his other brothers are as well, and he’d be surprised if his parents aren’t panicking knowing one of their children has been eating so little he starved himself.

So he keeps his head down. Thinking about this, if he tries to say anything, he thinks he might start crying. He hates crying in front of his brothers, and especially in front of Karamatsu.

“Ichimatsu…” As usual, Karamatsu seems content to do most of the talking. His hand lightly squeezes Ichimatsu’s. “We noticed you weren’t eating much at meals… we thought maybe you were having snacks in between. We didn’t know you were barely eating at all. The doctor said you’ve lost almost 8 kg. in the last two weeks.”

Ichimatsu can’t stop himself: “Holy shit.” That’s a lot. That’s a lot of weight to lose in only a couple weeks. Even if he’s not technically underweight right now, he knows it’s not healthy to have lost that much so fast.

Karamatsu’s voice is soft and nonjudgmental, but that might be why it cuts through Ichimatsu so deeply. “What’s going on, my brother? You need to talk to us. The doctor thinks you’ve got an eating disorder.”

“Wh…” If there was any anger swirling around inside him, it’s solidified into something icy. “That’s bullshit! You know that’s a load of crap, right? You don’t really believe that, do you?”

“I don’t know what to believe. Look where you are, Ichimatsu.” Karamatsu squeezes his hand again, and Ichimatsu could just fucking kill himself when he sees that there are tears in his brother’s eyes. “You’re in the hospital. You haven’t been eating. When I went to get coffee earlier, I heard the nurses talking, and one of them called you ‘an anorexic whose family is in denial’ and… and I got angry that they would talk about you like that… but then I thought… ‘what if she’s right?’ None of us want to think that, but…”

What a bunch of shit. He misses some meals and now he’s got nurses gossiping about his mental health? “Did any of the stupid-ass doctors or nurses look at my chart? Don’t they know I’m depressed? They’re fucking idiots if they don’t know that messes with how somebody eats.”

Karamatsu lets his hand slip from Ichimatsu’s, and he takes a deep breath. “… Please. Just tell me the truth, brother. Have you not been eating on purpose?”

“No, you dumbass! I didn’t… I didn’t mean to not eat!” And he’s pissed again. The anger is still cold inside him, trying to break free out of the prison that depression has his emotions in. “I… I didn’t mean to…” He bites down on his lip and suddenly wishes Karamatsu hadn’t let go of his hand.

Almost as if Karamatsu can read his mind, he leans forward to start rubbing Ichimatsu’s back. It’s even better than holding hands. “Then tell me what’s going on in your mind. If we know, then maybe we can help. Even if we can’t, we can still support you. Is it the depression? Have you been feeling terrible and numb and tired for weeks?”

Ichimatsu nods. If he could just slump over into Karamatsu’s embrace, he probably would right now. “Y… yeah. It’s just gotten bad… I kept thinking it was gonna get better tomorrow, gonna get better tomorrow, and it… it never did. I’m not usually so bad I can’t eat… but… the last couple weeks, I’ve just been… so exhausted. I know I’ve skipped the bathhouse a couple times… and I’ve been sleeping a lot…”

He shakes his head with a sigh. “I didn’t want you guys to have to force me to eat at every single meal for weeks, so I just… I didn’t say anything. Fuck… and you all… you would have, huh? You care so much about trash like me, and I can’t even just fucking let you…”

“You are not trash.” Karamatsu’s voice is firm now, with absolutely no room for argument despite the fact that Ichimatsu feels like it’s a lie. He gets up from his chair and Ichimatsu is enveloped in a warm hug within seconds. Even though he can’t hug back, because of his IV and because he just doesn’t have the energy to move much, he can at least press himself into it, let himself be held. “You’re our brother who we love very much.”

It feels like they stay this way for a while. In reality, it might only be a few minutes. If nothing else, Ichimatsu feels safe inside one of his older brothers’ hugs. They can protect him from even himself, embracing him like this and shutting out everything else.

Finally, Karamatsu speaks up again. “If your depression has gotten this bad that you can’t bring yourself to eat… Ichimatsu… you can’t ignore it anymore. You cannot just keep ‘working around it’ if it’s to the point that you can’t take care of yourself or even ask us to help take care of you. Things have progressed too far, my dear brother… your mind is very ill.”

He rests his head on top of Ichimatsu’s, letting his little brother bury his face in his chest. As far as Ichimatsu is concerned, even though this feels like he’s breaking down, that he’s already been broken for so long, it’s still comforting. Someone is trying to take care of him. “The doctor says you have to stay and have your treatment… it could take up to two weeks. And after that, they want to set up an appointment with a psychiatrist for you. So that maybe someone who knows what they’re doing can help you get better.”

Ichimatsu hates the idea. It’s not the worst idea ever, but he hates it. Why can’t he just go home? Everyone who loves him is at home. They can take care of him. They can help him get better, can’t they?

“I just wanna go home,” he mumbles, hiding himself against Karamatsu. “Can’t I just go home now and start eating again and then I… I promise I’ll tell you guys if it gets this bad again…”

Karamatsu shakes his head. His hand strokes gingerly between Ichimatsu’s shoulder blades. “You can’t start eating at home, not yet. You have to be on the IV for the rest of today, then they have to monitor you carefully when you start liquid food, then solids. If they don’t keep an eye on you here, you could get very sick. And we all think you truly should go for the psychiatrist’s appointment… none of us are doctors, Ichimatsu.”

He feels a soft kiss brushed over his head. “We love you very much, and we’ll support you in every way we can… but… you’re ill, just in your mind instead of your body. So you need a doctor for your mind to make you better. Just like we wouldn’t know how to treat pneumonia, we also don’t know how to treat depression. Will you please… please make that appointment after you recover here?”

When he gives Ichimatsu a squeeze, it almost feels… desperate.

“… We want you to be healthy, Ichimatsu. You deserve to be. You can’t keep going on like this, in pain forever. We don’t want you to be hurting for your whole life, and you… you deserve so much better than that.”

Ichimatsu feels his heart sink into his stomach as it hits him just how bad things have gotten. He let himself starve because he was so weighed down by depression that he just couldn’t feed himself. He sleeps so much that he misses a lot of things going on around him. There’s a constant ache in his chest and thoughts in his brain telling him he shouldn’t be alive and there’s nothing good about him and he’s unlovable and so many other things.

Maybe Karamatsu’s right. Maybe things have gone too far and he can’t just brush everything aside anymore.

For once, his mind actually gives him a push in the right direction.

You’re not really happy, are you?

You’re not really living.

You’re just alive.

“I’m scared,” he grunts, and somehow, somehow, he manages to lift his arm just enough to rest against his brother’s hip. As if he’s looking for a handhold, some thin lifeline he can cling to so he can pull himself up out of the darkness he’s been drowning in. “I��� I don’t wanna… will you… God. It’s been so hard to feel anything for weeks… now that I can sort of feel… it’s so stupid that the first thing I’m feeling is scared. Kara, if I… make that appointment… will you… maybe… come with me?”

Karamatsu hums, thoughtfully, a vibration Ichimatsu can feel through his whole body. The promise of his brothers being so close and trying so hard to help him sort of wakes up his emotions. There’s fear, being afraid to do something new and different… but… there’s also relief. He’s not just holding all this crap inside anymore. Somebody else knows, and it’s his big brother, and he’s trying so hard to help. “Of course. I’m sure the others would be happy to do so as well.”

All at once, he can feel himself relaxing. That’s it. He guesses that’s what he needed to hear, because the anxiety is starting to ebb away, he doesn’t feel as cold inside anymore, he feels okay to be sharing all this horrible shit.

“Th… thanks. I think… I think I can do it, then. Or at least I’ll try.” He shifts a little bit, so he can nuzzle up against Karamatsu’s collarbone. Fuck. He’s gonna stay here forever, or at least until he falls asleep, feeling so much safer with one of his brothers than he ever does on his own.

There’s a long road ahead if he chooses to have a bunch of appointments with whatever psychiatrist the hospital recommends, or with anyone. There are gonna be so many steps, uphill and downhill, and maybe medicine, and everything is going to suck until he starts to feel better. He can’t imagine right now taking a hundred steps toward feeling better; he can hardly imagine taking one.

But for some reason, the thought of taking a hundred steps seems easier if he’s got his brothers next to him while he takes them.

“… Hey,” he mutters, “did you say they’re gonna start me on real food tomorrow?”

“Hm? Oh. Yes, I believe they said they want to start you on liquids tomorrow, for two or three days, before trying to feed you anything solid.”

“Man… the answer’s probably gonna be no, but, are you sure you can’t sneak me a burger from the cafeteria or something?”

Of course, the answer is no. But Karamatsu is holding back laughter as he says it, and after a second, Ichimatsu starts laughing too. “You know I cannot do that, dear brother!”

“Yeahhhh.” He closes his eyes. “I’m just really fucking hungry, you know?”